#whatever happened to inside thoughts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

t4transsexual · 6 months

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maybe masculinity is ok. even trans/queer masculinity. have you considered that? have you yet considered that trans men and mascs arent gender traitors and we are just another gender? have you considered that telling pre t trans dudes that if they had facial hair theyd look like a sexual predator is really fucked up, especially with the traits of sexual assault on trans people? have you considered that maybe you shouldnt be telling real trans people that the body hair and facial hair and bottom growth they got on t that theyre celebrating about because they finally feel like themselves is actually gross and u dont want it and ud feel bad if u got it and its ugly? whatever happened to inside thoughts

#whatever happened to inside thoughts #keeping shit to ourselves even #secrets we take to the grave if u so incline #trans #transmasc #trans man #trans men #trans guy #t4t #transgender

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callmehere-iwillappear · 1 year

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REF SHEET JUMPSCARE

fun facts/context/things that didn't fit on the sheet under a read more!

raph's chew stim necklace was a gift from mikey. he goes through them like once a month MAX

mikey's 'more sensitive to mystics' thing isn't necessarily plot relevant just a fun tidbit. he gets it from draxum's side /hj

donnie is officially the older twin now HOWEVER prior to the invasion they didn't know which of them was and would have some completely arbitrary criteria or competition (a la rock paper scissors) to decide every time someone asked. the criteria was different EVERY time and ONLY made sense to them

one time after witnessing this draxum tried to tell them who was older and they both chewed him out. it's not about who's actually older it's about the PRINCIPLE

in this canon the invasion took place aroundddd six months after shredder round two

i REFUSE to believe donnie wouldn't build his techbo/other tech stuff that got destroyed again. he would NOT solely use mystics you cannot convince me. my reasoning for why he did in the movie is that he was too focused on trying to bring back shelldon to worry about his other tech stuff

SPEAKING OF SHELLDON. idk that it'll come up in the fic directly so basically: donnie spent a while trying to bring him back and wasn't able to during that time, and then... didn't give up exactly but got super discouraged and 'took a break' from working on him

'took a break' aka saying he would get back to it but not actually doing that because he refused to admit he was really just scared it would end with concrete proof that it wasn't possible. at least this way he doesn't know for sure that shelldon is gone forever (even if he also doesn't know for sure that he isn't)

schroedingers shelldon basically

and then the invasion happened and everything went to shit. shelldon is still sitting in donnie's lab somewhere though -- he luckily didn't have any parts donnie needed for the portal that he couldn't get from something else

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #cmhiwa #may add to this later idk. im sure theres more fun facts im forgetting lmao #anyway the thought of shelldon just being dead forever makes me sad. so hes just like. in a robo coma essentially #idk if itll happen in the fic but one day leo and mikey WILL kick his ass into realizing that its way better to know for sure #and (continuing w the shroedingers cat comparison) if shelldon IS fixable then the longer donnie waits #the longer the cat is stuck inside the box by itself. etc etc #my art #fic art #what other tags did i haaaaaaaaaave whatever ill add em later if i need to #i was going to make donnie taller than leo (bc he continued growing in the past year where leo. did not because he was dead)#before i remembered that one fuckin throwaway line abt leo still being taller but not for long. or smth #and i could just change it but ehhhh #so. leo is still taller. for now

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gorespawn · 10 months

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don't mean to be a little freak but since i work in a hospital now ive got a new perspective and appreciation for gore art. like oh my god you got that fat tissue just right—

#i have seen so many internal organs man #i held a large intestine in my hands (was gonna say bare hands but they really weren't)#he'd gotten a colostomy like 12 years earlier but after 7 years his intestine fell out! it fell out! and the doctors were like eh it's fine #and it was. he'd had his intestine hanging oout of his stomach for 7 something years and it was fine. and i held it in my hands #a good five inches of intestine. like a tentacle. in my hand #i put my entire hand inside a new crazy hole i found in a guy (to this day the grossest thing ive seen in my life i thought i'd die)#(like you can't... you can't understand... you can't....)#i put my hand inside a guy's foot! they had made a large hole in it! i put my hand in #one woman just had her small intestine out in the open like it was nothing! walked around and everything w a lil plastic bag over it #there are so many crazy holes to clean and flush #like. just. stomachs. do you have any idea how good the body is at having holes. sometimes holes just appear and eat their way thru the bod #making tunnels like a little ant except it's your body and suddenly ur intestine is inside your bladder or whatever like how did THAT happe #.txt #a man shat blood all over me i cleaned it forever man #one guy got a fistula between his intestine and aorta so he got like shit in his bloodstream. how did that happen!

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lesbiansanemi · 2 months

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Still thinking about the conversation I had with my roommate’s bf like two weeks ago where he said he was scared of furries but also didn’t even know enough about furries to know they were called furries I had to figure out wtf he was talking about. The urge to become a full blown furry now. Despite having all the makings of a furry I for some reason have never ended up enthusiastically becoming one despite my best efforts. Well. With spite as my motivator here we are. Where are the furry artists, I’m commissioning both my tentative ideas for my fursonas. I’m inviting all my friends who are furries over and we’re gonna work on making fursuits. I will also make this a hostile living situation for you AND I will get the added bonus of doing fun furry stuff

#during the same conversation he very heavily insinuated he thought I was a cringey weirdo in the most derogatory sense #by making fun of most of my hobbies and calling ppl who liked them cringey weirdos #but then going ‘oh! oh no! I don’t mean you though you’re fine you’re like Normal 😀’#so. you know.#anyways last night I walked in the door from work #and the entire apartment smelled like weed and there was a dog barking at me and he was watching tv SO loud #🙃🙃🙃 sensory overload immediately in main part of apartment so I hid in bedroom all night #I’m also irritated cuz I’ve had convos with my roommate about weed FOREVER ago #literally my one ask was if he was gonna smoke he do it outside so the apartment doesn’t smell like it #idc if you smoke and you are free to do edibles/dabs/whatever inside just pls don’t smoke joints #I hate the smell and it’s bad for the animals #so why is it 🙃🙃🙃 all of a sudden happening again as this guy moves in 🙃🙃🙃#anyways about to become a revenge furry and also suuuuuper fucking cringey just to bother/embarrass him #esp cuz he said he wants to have friends over all the time which I’m also FUDJDJSJSKSK about #but sure! invite friends over!#I’m gonna sit in the living room with my giant easel and draw furries and listen loudly to vocaloid while they’re here 🥰#I’m gonna have a great time! you won’t tho lmao #kaz rambles

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wormsdyke · 9 months

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whenever my epilepsy flares up i fully understand why people used to treat it like demonic possession because fucking feels like it. the genuine most realistic description i can give of my symptoms right now is there is an evil girl inside of my body made of salt and she is forcing herself out through the space between my eyelids and my eyes

#feeling really bad tonight folks my brain is trying to kill ne #this is not like metaphorical at all idk how to explain it #it is very weird what will happen to you if your brain just completely malfunctions for a second #obviously there’s all the physical symptoms that happen when ur brain malfunctions at controlling ur body #but it messes up in making thoughts too and that’s just so weird and scary to me #just sometimes i will have thoughts that make no sense at all bc my neurons are at a rave #i don’t know. whatever. everybody say goodnight to the salt monster crawling around inside my body #i’m going to try to sleep it off #orating!#epilepsy #actually epileptic

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elytrafemme · 8 months

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why doesn't anybody talk about schrodinger's mental illness? seriously i think i'm onto something here

#nightmare.personal #i'm starting to think i'm over it like #i've been so happy lately and i'm having these weird nightmares about my family for no reason but like #i have FRIENDS and i'm taking CARE OF MYSELF and like i thought i looked super pretty today #but i am freaking out a bit about how nice this one friend of mine is being to me #which is so weird bc he'/s like the safest guy to be around ever but suddenly i feel insanely unsafe #hm. maybe i'll be fixed if i go to bed #ugh i have classes tmrw which are FINE classes but like. work. and then also therapy #and therapy's good just like. ugh. Ugh. maybe i'll talk to her about me hating my gf's mom's profession and my moral crisis #bc guys it's kind of awkward i really don't fuck with landlords but my gf's mom is um . Kind of one of those #anyway i think i'm better honestly like the klavier and dahlia stuff is starting to just feel like an inside joke #something earlier happened and i was like klav would like this. andi pictured him a bit in my brain as how he looked #and like. we laughed. but i don't think he was there at all #and the BPD stuff isn't happening like i've not mood swung at all lately i don't think #so maybe it was all in my head andi'm fine now? that could be it honestly like. i'm fine. which!#is weird and abrupt but hey i'm into it. y'know. whatever #it would kind of suck if it turns out i was perfectly fine i was just overthinking it but. hey #honestly whatever. people are fine i'm fine i'm safe and the nightmares are stupid #i need to see this guy anyway tmrw because i invited him along to grab breakfast with me and our mutual friend #we're like a trio so i figure it's fine. hopefully the dining hall isn't still on fire i need to fuck up that pomegranate acai drink so bad #it's SO good you guys. but like. idk. i feel happy like perfectly happy. like i don't think much is wrong #these weird feelings of dread and hovering on the edges of panic attacks sometimes but that's really it #ugh. i hope the lecture hall has good chairs #sorry i cannot focus on this i'm restless rn. i need. like. something #i think me and my GF might break up soon bc of the parents work and the sex thing but like.#someone lobotomize me i'm literally fine what's going ONNNN

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iloveyouitisruiningmylife · 20 days

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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and

#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls #girl #and i was so tired #am so tired #i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't #i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne #i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main #i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i #liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest #i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic #everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much #draining and destroys my peace and then they leave #it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship #whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night #every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on #pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking #into a million tiny pieces everytime #i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the #sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's #she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of #i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her #but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna #die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i #need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy #does that make sense #okay bye i should really start writing a diary

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lobpoints · 8 months

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some boring lc thoughts in dm with friend ig

Click ALT if you can't read the text

#i was telling my friend that I had some lc thoughts lately which they asked and I responded like a day after (distracted by yuri sorry)#also because I feel like I cannot articulate my thoughts without sounding like an inherently hateful or annoying person about it #there are more to this being that I talked about Benjamin pre LC behavior in the text but benjamin in LC loop behavior evolved #into a state of helplessness complacency state where he held the belief that his and A relationship only last inside the loop #which metaphorically meant that he believed A will have to remain as a hurtful person for their relationship to last #so Hokma's story just have his behavior toward A have this bit of him condemning A's behavior and go on his poor angela speech #and later on dwell into how it is actually OK for A and everyone to keep living like this because A could NEVER change anyway #and if A argues that he could that just mean that he COULDNT BE serious about it because lol something something repeated hurtful pattern #this is something he has in common with Angela as well because Angela's dialogues toward seed of light progressions express this exact #and it is when his meltdown come in where he poses as protector to protect whatever A hasnt destroyed yet #which later just dwell into him admitted that he was just being overly vebrose about his intention but in reality #it was mostly because he couldnt bear to part with A again #I do absolutely think what Benjamin/Hokma feel toward A is romatic attraction like he is literally gay so yeah #and the fact that in QnA PM has answered that Benjamin wasnt in the loop before Angela killed him and put him in so that why he got older #which makes sense because this place into the thematic that when he wanted to escape the loop or fix thing he actually #growing up #while as Hokma stuck in the loop and dealing with the above issues he started being ''stuck'' in a loop #like I cant with the popular fan theory of Benjamin is killed each loop and how tragic it is like #no it didnt happen and it would be frankly kinda lame im sorry #ok im being a hater again #there are more I wanted to say but I forgor them after writing till this point so uh

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thebirdandhersong · 1 year

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looool the world is so small and brief encounters are funny--as in I froze for a moment from the shock and then, when I was out of sight, laughed hysterically because I hadn't expected it

#in other words. saw the first guy who ever asked me out today while walking home #and remembered how Tall and Grand i thought he was and how much i looked up to him #he was the first boy to break my heart! and he was walking around campus too i guess #suddenly he was just THERE and i was like. songbird that is literally just some guy #just some guy who isn't so tall and grand after all! just some guy who's also wandering around campus going to class or whatever!#who also happened to ask you out years ago because he wanted **a** girlfriend and went for another girl less than a week after you said you #weren't ready to date. like wooooo boy the world is so small #i don't know why i wanted to laugh so much when i saw him #(there WERE uncharitable reasons too) but i walked back home with a light heart #because thankfully life goes on and time moves on and things that leave you lying on your bed #feeling hollow and achey inside because you wouldn't let yourself cry #those things eventually DO fade and the sun DOES come out #and then you walk on and have lunch with friends and sing loudly in the stairwell when you get back #because all shall be well and all DID turn out well and all is well now :)

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metacove · 5 months

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Jacehawk is something that can be so personal. You have the world's most boring self-righteous rigid wanna-be supersoldier paired up with the most evil fucked up pathetic crybaby irredeemable anti-hero

And you find out through the eyes of one another the former is the strongest, most respectable formidable hero who is literally made of light and love and the latter is the sweetest most understanding (poor little meow meow) of a powerful wizard who was brought up in unfortunate circumstances

#and you think wow these two are literally made for each other #BAD FAITH POST #^^ 😬#and then they kiss #jacehawk is actually about overcoming your circumstances like no matter where you thought you came from the past is wiped clean and all that #is left is to heal what is most painful for you and become the version of you that was always inside #okay so you think you're the most ordinary person ever helpless of changing anything around you. so you fight and you train for years #to become a weapon for your cause which betrays you. well it turns out your real superpower was love and bringing people together #(and becoming a GLOWING BEAST‐) and through this you can save everything. and everyone dear to you. and you'll never give up and you'll #never be truly defeated and your imprint will last and last and last and be defended by everyone you loved #now on the other hand #you think every move you make has to be perfect and love is never available to you because you always fall short. you're not only not-#powerless but in fact the decisions you make so often end up in tragedy and despair that you become a living cautionary tale #and maybe all the mothers DO warn their children about you. and maybe you ARE a monster. and whatever you do you can't seem to claw yourself #out. you can only hurt the people you care about. and so demanding yourself is the only way you can create peace.#and the only thing you can't do.#only to find out that love is all around you and yes even if you were literally a monster you would have love. and you would be saved #and the world is always saving you and transpiring for you to be loved and nothing that's happened defines you #and you look back and the ways you responded were always from the heart. even if they seemed to end badly. it wasn't the end!#it wasn't the end and you did everything you can and someday #you both get to choose who you want to be. and maybe you can't create your circumstances the way you'd like. but the way you respond to them #is everything you are. and everything you've become. and really even if you can't see the good in it yet-#someone will.#and they'll love you and cherish you and someday. you will too #(blows my nose)#hello jacehawks

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leatherbookmark · 1 year

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aaaaah the lxc poll is assuming he’s going to survive the 100 years. i see i see. well,

#there was a polish fic where lxc basically Sat Down Tucked His Leggies In And Rolled Away #(okay this is not at all what happened but basically he disappeared/died. apologies to the author if they ever see this)#(this fic was incredibly good you should ALL read it with google translate)#and like... i feel this is what's like. the most possible outside of my favourite 'well you see. necrophilia' scenario #(okay it doesn't have to be necro necessarily but you know)#i just hate the thought of him sucking it up and going back to being a good boy sect leader who's dead inside/^__^ for the sake of Others #while lwj and wwx get to saunter around and be in love and do whatever they want. just. nope. hissing and scratching #and like the what i think he'd do/what i want him to do distinction.... also hissing and scratching #he's not only in seclusion because he's mourning he's in seclusion because he can't trust his judgment anymore and WHAT kinda sect leader #so him going back and sucking it up and getting married and having kids is just like. worst case scenario to me. sorry everyone #lwj gets to have his lost love romanticized the fuck out of by the fandom and rewarded by the narrative but lxc has to put on his big boy #pants and 'move on'??? yeah SURE. he's either disappearing without a trace or committing heinous acts to the dead. Thatse It #shrimp thoughts

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odetolovers · 9 months

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shaking crying screaming

#get u a girlfriend who wants to get someone to recreate your old childhood stuffie that u lost #and wants to get u ur old favourite childhood book that u lost #bc she knows that ur childhood wasnt great but those parts were and wants to give them back to u #im seriously. dying every second every minute every day i have never experienced a love as kind and thoughtful and good as this #and i am truly obsessed with her she is everything i cd have ever wanted and more #i feel so lucky i cannawt believe this is real life sometimes i stg. SORRY im being extremely sappy but it’s just soooo #i was not looking for this love it just Happened TM and it makes everything else it took me to get here worth it #me when i am so very devoted and i would do anything to make her happy and i know she’d do the same #i Adore her. i cant even conceptualise how much i love her what the hell man #and not just bc of how she loves me but bc of who she is #ive never met someone more unflinchingly honest but kind and loving and fawking hilarious #and capable and self aware and such a beautiful person inside & out #i love her in all her humanness and i love her with everything in me If im honest.#i knew from before we even got together that i was going to marry her and that feeling hasnt changed #me when i spill my guts on tumblr i am treating it like a diary not a social media site. oop #WHATEVER IM HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND DEVOTED AND !!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway.#valentina talks #my lover #EDIT IM ENDING IT ALL SHE FOUND MY OMD STUFFIE AND BOUGHT UT IM CRYING SHAKIFNGBSUING THROWIFNUOP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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deus-ex-mona · 1 year

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p a n i c ensues

#that’s too much excitement for one day. no event tl today i’ve mentally ascended _(:3 」∠)_#i needa get whatever happened off my chest before i end up blabbing about it to my mother (and have her laugh at me) so cue the tag rambling #the story is… i had just. gotten a seat on the bus when i realised that my wallet wasn’t in my bag :(#immediately alighted at the first random bus stop and proceeded to run around a 100% unfamiliar location for like 10 minutes #thank goodness i had an inkling of where i had dropped that bugger. or else i’d be wandering around the poorly-lit pathways at like 9.30pm #or well. wandering around said pathways in a panicked aimless frenzy.#and t h a n k g o o d n e s s i had dropped it in a rather secluded location. no one seemed to have touched it while i was away from it…#not a single note/card was out of place. the dai keychain i had on the zip didn’t have a single scratch on it either!!!!#but my priorities were seriously messed up lol #even though all of my important cards were inside the wallet，my one thought was ‘nOOO MY DAI KEYCHAIN—’#am i really allowed to call myself a functional adult? lol? send h e l p #ughhhh that was seriously terrifying though… i wouldn’t have realised that i’d lost my wallet if i hadn’t been trying to keep my umbrella…#but at least all of that panicked running managed to help me to burn off the calories from my ‘fried chicken friday’ feasts? lol?#maybe this is how i’m able to maintain my figure with my rubbish diet lmaoooo. panicked running does wonders!!!!!#inedible blubbering

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thethingything · 1 year

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I tried eating something for the first time since losing that filling and yeah this is going to be a nightmare if we can't get emergency treatment soon

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #a big section of the inside of the tooth is just kind of exposed and it's way bigger than the cavity in the untreated tooth #it gets really painful the moment anything touches it to the point that we just can't chew on that side at all #but chewing on the other side is also really painful (just a bit more bearable)#I feel like I'm venting so much but I'm just kind of overwhelmed with everything and I need a break but I can't really get one #it's basically just been like. continuous bullshit since last June and I'm coping as well as I can at least. it's just a lot #nice things happen as well and I try really hard to pay attention to those. I normally write them down somewhere #but those often end up being nice little interactions within the system or whatever so they get written down in our diary or system server #a lot of the nice stuff is just very mundane stuff and that's what's nice about it

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