#when I thought I drew a chubby character but the reality was that she was still slim! I still have her saved in my Deviant Art account

[screwpinecaprice]

I know it’s not a question but i can’t help but appreciate the fact that you draw adult Steven as a chubby guy! We big boys need some positive representation in here. Also, i’ve been following you for almost a year now!

Btw sorry for my English lol.

Hi! It's very pleasing to know you've been around for as long! 😁😁😁 I absolutely appreciate the appreciation! And no worries, your English is super fine! 😁 (Relatable actually. I am also apologizing in advance if I can't exactly have my point clearly across because I'm not well at English myself! lmao)

It took me quite some time to learn how to draw chubby characters but it's so satisfying to have eventually. ( *`u*) (I mean, there's still so much to learn, but still.)

Having a chubby main protagonist is so wonderful to have. And a good kid at that. (Ngl I'm attracted to kindness. haha So of course it's very important to me that he's fat AND kind.)

Also design-wise, I personally think it fits his character so well. Soft and huggable, shaped like a friend. Thick arms to hug people with snuggly. Body wide like a shield. etc. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And I just really like to capture these elements when I draw him as an adult. Also that it's just fun to draw.

Simply personal thoughts about it, nothing against any other ways he's being portrayed by others of course.

[katsuflossy]

A Doll’s Palace

Pairing: Hawks x Reader 

TW: Angst, Mentions of maternal death, death, yandere themes, mentions of societal female expectations

A/n:  If it wasn’t for Echo and Mix, would’ve been straight booty cheeks so omg thank y’all for helping me edit this to near perfection ❤❤❤

Taglist: @johariameil @iiminibattlehero @ecao @melanimed​ @mixfi​

Chastity, Purity, Demureness, Divine Feminity: They built your enamored status and innocence in the kingdom of Braavos. A pure noblewoman is seen as the most remarkable feminine icon in society, and you involuntarily became the symbol that many women hated and men looked up to. A curse, your father had called it, as the most beautiful of your family is always the earliest to go, right after birth. Since then, you’ve grown to embody your mother, a face he so loved, and swore on his life that you would never die from a soul exchange as your mother did.

But your marriage with Takami Keigo? A reality every hopeless romantic maiden could only experience through dream. . King ‘Hawks’ was preferred by his people, an esteemed man that led millions to victory in battle with wit and millions of hearts to burst using charm. You were one in a million, the heart that won the golden ticket to strike the hawk’s heart.

Too bad, the reality was shared another lucky heart.

Red silks tailored to your natural measurements; the powdered innocent blush on your face was paralleled to the floor as your brain overflowed with thoughts. Your hands twirled the parchment scroll in your palms, but your eyes remembered the exact words inked on the paper. They jumbled with the script you’ve repeated since the crack of dawn. Midoriya fluttered about the room, making the bed you just laid in and unclogging the once cold bathwater made for you to look more ‘youthful.’ A simple day in the Crystal Queen’s life.

“Izuku?” Your manservant ceased his movement, eagerly giving his attention to you.

“Yes, my Queen?” His eyes tried to reach yours; however, they remained on the paper within your hands, slightly crinkled from when your restraint broke.

“You would tell me when I am wrong” Your irises slowly slid to his frame; pupils almost swallowed into the depths of your eye color. A shiver ran down his back . “right?”

“Y-yes, my Queen.” He didn’t dare to flinch under your gaze, which stared at him longer than what was comfortable. You ended your stare by closing your eyes, giving him a wide smile before rising from your love seat, slipping the parchment in your sleeve. Your steps passed straight by his still frozen figure until they had reached the door frame.

“Midoriya, my faithful servant.” Your voice echoed through the room like a skillful siren. His attention remained on you as you continued to speak.

“I want you in the main dining hall by eight on the dot. Please don’t be late.” You left before he could properly bow at your command.

The barren halls laughed at you, pricking your mentality, forming pairs of figures every few columns you passed. A maid was pressed against the left column just a while ago, arms wrapped around the pale neck of your husband, his arms around her peasant waist.

The one you just passed? The same maid laid her hands on Keigo’s face, smoothing out his goatee’s hairs, and he allowed her to.

The entrance of the dining hall up ahead held your heart’s worst fear. An exchange of breath, love, and intimacy that should be sacred between those wedded. Your mind pictured the peacock vase at the entrance shattering on your behalf, impaling the two’s skin. The imaginary screams were like wine to your ears as you finally entered the hall.

The area was warmed by the marble light of the great chandelier,everything was covered with the golden gleam, hiding the little splatters of deep red in the floor. A mint haired maid captured your attention.

“Your Majesty? I apologize, but the dining room is not finished for tonight’s dinner.” Her brown eyes stared at you nervously; her chubby cheek showed where her teeth bit into its flesh.

“Oh, no worries, I am just looking for now.” The fake smile stuck itself to your face as you examined the long dining table. Only a handful of food were fixated on the top.

“You make excellent food here, Cara. What beautiful carvings in the baby carrots.” You quirked up, noticing she stiffed at your last words.

“Of course, my work is only done best for you, y-your Majesty.” Your practiced laugh came through the room, instilling superficial relief in the maid.

“But I must ask, are you eating some as you cook? You’ve gotten wider in the last months.” Your hand took her chin; curious eyes roamed her plump face as she blushed by the attention.

“Haha, y-yes, I’ve been eating a little more than usual.” Her gaze shuffled to anywhere but you. She was such a terrible liar.

“As long as you’re not eating for two.” You threw your head back; melodious laughter exhausted your stomach pit. Cara barely joined in with her nervous laughter, face breaking red in embarrassment.

“Did I hear my little bird’s beautiful laughter?” The kingly presence broke into the room. Which one? You kept your tongue as Keigo wrapped you into a kiss, which sadly set your heart on fire. Your lips separated, trained eye watching as his own sneakily trailed to the kitchen maid. Your smile dulled before brightening .

“My King, I have exciting news for you.” Your face snuggled into his palm on your cheek. Hawks eyes gleamed like the most gilded of plates.

“Hm? Well, love, don’t keep me on my toes. Let me hear it.” You relished in his arms wrapped around your midsection before pulling out of his embrace, bopping him on the nose.

“That’s the purpose.o keep you anxious until the grand reveal.” Your smile started to burn your cheeks as you watched the room’s bustle, preparing for a grand disaster.

Violins and Cellos played throughout the dining hall as the dinner began. The long table set with food separated you and Keigo, each taking the farthest end. Playful looks and banters were exchanged between the two as the servants lined against the walls, ready for even the most subtle commands. After laughing at one of Keigo’s pun, you clapped, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Well, it was all a joyous evening, but I must bring attention to the evening’s highlight: the surprise.” Hawks quirked up in curiosity. The rest of the maids and Midoriya exchanged curious glances but did not say a word. You rose from your seat, hand gliding across the table’s surface.

“As you know, I am a lady of chastity, not by will, but by curse.” Your steps drew closer to your king.

“My father wishes nothing of seeing me carrying a little one. You, my king, are a young man, one who’s drive is active. A man who wishes to grow old with children around as you said at our first ball.” You were only a mere meter away from his seated figure, close enough to watch his adam’s apple bob in nervousness.

“Yes? But my little bird, why is this such an important announcement.”

“Be patient, my love. I am getting to that.” You were half a meter away from him now; his brow held the slightest furrow in them. Cara shuffled in the corner of your eye.

“Well, I begged my father, being of a monogamous nation, and it was hard. Harems were long abandoned in the kingdom of Braavos, but I did it.” You pulled from your sleeves the parchment paper and gave it to Keigo, whose eyes were full of anxiety. He opened the scroll to read.

“In the Kingdom of Fukuoka, the King will have the privilege of a harem, up to 20 women. He will be able to officially appear with them at balls, sleep with them, and—” his eyes flicker to you with shock before rereading what was written. “—procreate with them.”

You smiled before pointing to the end of the paper.

“Only if the Queen, rightfully crowned and inaugurated, is given the parenthood of all children birthed by the harem. The Queen will also be able to have a harem of her own, whether sexually or not.”

Hawks’ wings rose, eyes looking at you in disbelief. You lifted his face close to yours.

“Don’t worry, love. I only have eyes for you. Though,what happened to equality and freedom? The two things you fight for?” Your eyes flickered to Cara, whose face was red with anger. Keigo already took the pen from your sleeves and signed the paper.

“S-stop! This law c-can’t pass !” Her voice broke the cheery atmosphere, riddling it with confusion. The maids began to whisper frantically. You rose a brow at her outburst.

“And why is that? You have no say in royal affairs, kitchen maid.” Her eyes began to water, falling down her fat cheeks onto her fabric.

“P-please, d-don’t take my baby.” The room fell deadly silent after her plea. You ripped your hands from Hawks’ body, face morphing in shock.

“What do you mean, ‘your baby’?” Your eyes turned to Hawks, who sat silent. You could see the gears turning in his head to construct a lie.

“Hawks. What does she mean ‘your baby’?” His gears steamed before stopping abruptly, giving up on filing an excuse. His hands reached out to hold you.

“I can explain.” You moved quickly out of his range before halting him in his tracks.

“You can explain? Do you know how embarrassing that is to me? If it’s true, you’ve been cheating on me for months! Knowing that I couldn’t even bear for you!” Your heart pained you as the night you found out, reliving the shock and betrayal over again.

You were breaking character. Taking a deep breath, you turned away from your husband, a tear slowly streaking your face.

“We’ll talk about this when there aren't any spectators. Cara, bring out the special wine I’ve asked you to make for the celebration. I hope you two are happy.” Cara still stood on the spot, by fear and resistance. You turned to her; wide eyes staring straight into her soul.

“Now.” She ran to the kitchen, hand over mouth to hide her whimpers.

“Midoriya, help the pregnant lady out. It’ll be a shame if she broke her back or something.” Midoriya jumped up, running in the same direction as Cara.

“(Y/n), let me explain please—”

“There is nothing to explain; just enjoy your wine and celebrate.” The bitter sarcasm rolling off your tongue in waves. Cara and Midoriya entered the hall. Her eyes strong with will and face wiped of tears. Midoriya poured the wine for Hawks, filling his chalice to the brim. The winged king sighed and took an immediate gulp. You immediately turned to Cara, your eyes evoking sadness.

“I can’t even be in the same place as you two right now.” You stormed out of the dining room, leaving only the sounds of your shoes hitting the floor.

The candle lights flickered as Hawks entered your shared bedroom, dressed and cleaned for bed. You sat on your loveseat from the afternoon, now twirling a diamond ring on your finger. As he stood in front of you, your eyes remained on your hand.

“My love please forgive m—”

“Why?” You looked up at him; pupils dilated.

“Why should I?” He stepped back, startled to see the pain he had inflicted on you. He stared into your wide eyes for a moment longer until he knelt down, knees touching the red carpet’s wool. His hands clasped your own stopping the continuous twirl of your marriage symbol before wetting his dry lips.

“For a young royal bachelor, I was loved by all types of power-hungry men and women; they flocked me with compliments, ideas, whispers, promises. But you, you were the one that saw who I was behind my status, a young boy who lost his parents. A coward put into the place of a king before he could even blink. You saw the real me, and still, you didn’t turn away. We both embrace our vulnerabilities from each other, and if—” His Adam's apple bobbed, throat restricting as a tear fell from his eye. You shuffled in discomfort, your own tears brimming at his speech.

“—if I could take back what I had done, I would do so immediately, within a heartbeat. But she bears my child, and I...I can’t leave it as my father left me.” His neck strained to look up at you, forcing himself not to choke down a cry.

You laid your other hand on his own. Your tears were staining your cheek as you nodded your head frantically, taking him in your arms. He pulled you into a kiss, minty breath intertwining with your own as the candle flames swayed with the emotions.

The scream you let out in the morning had maids and guards rushing to your room. King Takami Keigo was found dead after you both went to sleep. Few hours from the coroner revealed he died of poison.

You walked down the winding stairs of the dungeon with Midoriya by your side. The last cell held a meager amount of light, only showing the mint green hair of Cara. She jumped at the sounds of your footsteps. You ambled up until the bars could touch your toes.

“To kill your very own king is a crime punishable by death.” She wracked in the chains, trying to get closer to you.

“I didn’t kill him! I swear it wasn’t me!”

“It wasn’t you?” You took the chalice from Midoriya, holding it up to the ceiling as if you were inspecting it.

“This was the last thing he consumed before coming to bed, so the maids say.” Your eyes turned back to the ex-kitchen maid who burst into tears; head bowed in shame.

“Everything has pointed to you, but I understand. I’d kill if the love of my life betrayed me too. I’d use the same exact poison too, Aqua Tofana, the famous poison used by many hurt women to end their lovers.” Her head creaked back to your figure, eyes widening with the growing smirk on your face.

“Although the law states you should serve immediate death, I don’t want that precious baby to go along with you. It’s my last semblance of Keigo, after all. So, as Queen of Fukuoka, I have decided to spare you until the baby has been born. You will stay in this jail cell with ample nursing so my child will be born safe and healthy. That is all.”

You and Midoriya left the dark dungeon, Cara’s screams echoing through the hollow area. Your smirk never softening as you climbed up the stairs, hand still holding Keigo's chalice.

Midoriya laid anxious the whole time. After all, he was guilty of killing the king, adding the poison to the wine when Cara wasn’t looking. His silence finally broke.

“My Queen? Why did you make me...do that?” You halted your steps, pondering as you looked at the golden chalice.

“Keigo would’ve never loved me again. She gave him what I couldn’t, a child to love. He would’ve rather played father with an actual mother, a mother who’d know how to love a child. So I had to stop that before I lost my throne.” Your fingers skimmed the actual feather-covered by gold on the cup, feeling its ridges and bumps.

“Izuku?”

“Yes, my Queen?”

“You would tell me when I’m wrong, right?

“Yes, my Queen.”

[megmahoneyart]

why did you draw michael who is white as looking more remorseful and human on half his face than helen who you depict as a black woman who appears angry with both of her eyes spiraled? even despite michaels vocal insistence that he is wholly an inhuman monster and his cruel actions you draw him looking more innocent and human than a black woman who has not done anything nearly as monstrous as him and held onto her human identity more strongly?

Okay!  So, I use this blog to draw and not to talk, but I’m suuuper long-winded when I write.  And to spare the general public, I’ve put this answer under a read-more.  But it’s a good and valid question!  And I appreciate anon’s concern; I thought the question deserved as good an answer as I could give.  So that answer is below:

That’s a totally valid question!  I didn’t intend to convey “remorseful” so much as, upset, with Michael.  Angry wasn’t necessarily what I was going for with Helen either--so it sounds like my expressions overall aren’t reading super well. Helen was meant to be more, I think enthusiastic, is the word I’m looking for.

The big difference between Helen and Michael isn’t one of them being more innocent or more guilty than the other.  The difference is the amount of conflict.  Helen has repeatedly brought up how much better she is at being The Distortion than Michael ever was.  Michael had a lot of knowledge about the Fears, and The Spiral, in particular, before becoming The Distortion than Helen did.  And, along with that, he brought the baggage of being taught that his job was to fight the fears, and the baggage of being scarred by The Spiral before working for the Institute.  He kind of sucks at being The Distortion because his job was to stop The Distortion from performing The Spiral’s ritual--and that leaves both The Distortion hating Michael for fucking up its purpose, and Michael hating The Distortion because it’s the embodiment of what he hated and feared as a human.  Everything Michael Distortion does is double-minded--because part of him is like “Hey I used to work here, and these guys are technically my co-workers, and I kind of want to hang out with them, but I also hate this place” and part of him is “I want to Fuck Everything Up, and I hate All of these people and would be happy to see them dead.”  

Helen, on the other hand, doesn’t have the baggage of foreknowledge or hatred.  She’s Michael Distortion’s victim, at first.  But the second she has an opening to turn the tables, she jumps on it.  And the reason she had an opening is because Michael and The Distortion were at odds and schisming and in Conflict.  She’s set up in season 4 to be a kind of narrative foil for Jon--as they have both become avatars without really meaning to (like the majority of avatars that have showed up on the show).  In Season 4, Jon is constantly agonizing over what exactly he is now, and futilely circling around the morality of his continued existence.  Helen, in season 4, is beyond this point.  She has already accepted the Way Things Are now, and she’s dealing--constantly telling Jon he needs to deal with it (the reality of being a “monster” too).  By season 5, she’s not just dealing, she’s Thriving.  And in seasons 4 and 5, at any opportunity, she (Helen Distortion) is always down to remind Jon (and co) that she is So Much Better at being what she is (The Distortion) than Michael ever was.  

I think Helen Richardson probably had a stronger character than Michael Shelley did, as humans as well.  Not saying that one was better than the other. But Helen was a successful career-woman.  Michael started at the institute as a scared kid, who was then groomed by Gertrude and psychologically experimented on by Emma.  I could never see Helen Richardson ever being someone Gertrude Robinson could emotionally manipulate, or convince to “sacrifice” herself.

And all of that informs how I characterize these two characters’ personalities when I draw them.  And that doesn’t touch on the race issue.

Unfortunately, TMA doesn’t explicitly describe many characters’ race or ethnicity.  A Lot has been said about the few negative vs positive characters who are explicitly characters of color.  It’s kind of a black-and-grey-morality podcast.  But on the side of the protagonists/positively-portrayed you’ve got Oliver Banks, Adelard Dekker, Basira Hussain, Mikaele Salesa.  On the enemy-aligned side you’ve got Jude Perry, Tom and John Haan, Manuela Dominguez, and Annabelle Cane.  And those on the positive side are pretty flawed (aside from Adelard Dekker who is an anomaly on this show); and those on the negative side usually have at least some alternate-character-interpretations and can be viewed as sympathetic (lookin at you, Annabelle).  A lot of discussion has gone into their characterizations and how that relates to their respective races--and the problems therein (Jude Perry is startlingly devoid of family concerns--when culturally a large part of being a successful businesswoman would usually relate to how it benefits or affects her family; Mikaele Salesa’s setting up an Apocalypse Bunker without the crew he cared for is peak White behavior; bastard cops that are WOC (like Basira) absolutely exist--but should a story about a WOC bastard cop be written by a white guy?; the Haans being avatars for The Flesh is straight-up racist; etc).  

But again, the list of characters that are explicitly characters of color is Short.  And the fandom filled in some gaps.  Almost all of the characters get a variety of designs, and some characters don’t have a Uniform Fanon Race (like Melanie).  But some characters are almost always portrayed as a certain race (Jon is almost always portrayed as Desi or Pakistani, Georgie is almost always portrayed as black, Helen is almost always portrayed as black).  I came into the show late.  By the time I arrived, Desi/Pakistani Jon and black Helen were the only Jon and the only Helen I saw when I showed up.  (The first sketches I did for the show, I did before seeing any fan art, and before hearing any canon descriptors.  As such, Georgie would be unrecognizable to most of the fandom--because I drew her white the first time I drew her; and Martin is Too Small in my first sketches--because they were drawn before I got to episodes that described him as tall and chubby and before I saw the fantart--which gives us the Big Martin we deserve).  So that’s why my Helen is black.  (My Michael is white because he is physically described early in the show--and is one of the confirmed white characters).

That said, I accepted the generally-agreed-upon fan depictions of Helen (and other characters) without a whole lot of critical thought from Me.  I’ve since read a lot of good takes on why Jon is depicted as Desi and why his characterization has resonated with certain Desi listeners.  I haven’t read any dissertation on why Helen is black.  My guess is that, where there were no canon physical descriptions (like with Taz Balance before the graphic novels), the fandom Made representation because they wanted it and because they could.  Maybe there was discourse, back in the day, on why Georgie and Helen are usually depicted as black; but I didn’t see it.  My (completely uninformed) guess is that people liked Georgie.  And people liked Helen.  And if they could make the cool lady with a great cat that is incapable of being afraid black, and if they could make the cool lady who has sharp hands and set up her house in the Institute basement for fun black, why not do it?

If you, anon, do have strong feelings that Helen shouldn’t be black and why, feel free to pass that on to me.  I am Not the authority on Helen’s characterization or her appearance--especially as related to race--as I’m 1) white and 2) just another listener of the show.

If I were to start drawing Helen as white, she’d probably be unrecognizable to people that are looking through the tag for their sharp-handed wife.  And I like Helen.  So without additional information, I’m unlikely to change my depiction of her.  But!  If you (or anybody else) do have additional information, I’m happy to see/hear it, and will take any concerns raised with me into consideration.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #340

“wash the poison from off my skin  /  show me how to be whole again”

What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have this oddly specific memory of bringing my little Snorlax plushie for one in pre-k. I remember thinking everyone thought I was weird for liking Pokemon as a girl. Do you remember losing your first tooth? I don't. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I think I was addicted to World of Warcraft at a point, but it's honestly hard to tell. My depression was just so abysmal that it was the one thing I got even a smidge of not even joy, but active distraction out of because the options of what you can do in the game are essentially limitless. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it does make me jump because I don't like loud noises. Name one person you’d like to see this month. Bitch we fighting Covid, stay away from me. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don’t know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? They're nearly tied, honestly, but I prefer the original. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I KNOW my maternal grandmother didn't, and I don't believe any other grandparent did, either. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? Not since I was a kid. What do you usually buy when you go to the corner store? You mean like, a gas station or dollar store? Something small like that? In that case, I'll usually look for a Mountain Dew Voltage sometimes along with something Reese's-related. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, absofuckinglutely. He so obviously loves me. I know my snake doesn't though, considering reptilian brains just physically aren't capable of creating that emotion. She does, however, obviously trust me and definitely seems to enjoy coming out of her terrarium and thus hanging out by me. Bubbles or sidewalk chalk? I loved drawing with chalk, but I like bubbles more. I just love how they catch light and have such beautiful colors to share. What do you use to tell time when your gone out somewhere? My phone. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. I wish I still was, goddammit. I used to be so fit, and it's funny, because even back then at like, 118 lbs at 5'4'', I thought I was kinda chubby. Like bitch shut the fuck up. Watermelon or cherries? I honestly don't like either, but I'll definitely pick watermelon over cherries. They're disgusting. What is your all-time favourite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Biiiiiitch guess lmao. I think everyone has, though. What is the band you’ve listened to most lately? Definitely 3TEETH. Love 'em. Favourite brand of cookies? Hm, good question. They've gotta be good at making SOFT chocolate chip cookies, though. I don't enjoy crunchy cookies nearly as much. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I don't really know. Oh, y'know, chatting with Edgar Allan Poe would probably be cool. Do you pay for your own things? I literally can't. It's embarrassing. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain sexual things I've done, probably. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Of course. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? I felt that way in my friendship with Colleen, but no romantic relationships. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. Like no, go to hell. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Pre-Covid, yeah. What do you dislike the most about being the gender that you are? Probably how heavily judged women are for having ANYTHING "wrong" with their appearance. You could be five pounds over what is "normal" for your height and you're seen as fat. One strand of body hair, and you're disgusting. Bushy eyebrows, you're now manly. I could go on and on. Do you think that weed/marijuana should be legalized? Yes. Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? 10. Do you enjoy tanning? Ugh, no. Just sitting there doing nothing but sweating. Have you ever written anybody an anonymous note? I have not. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah; we used to have one. It was the best when we lived in the woods. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? I just let it air dry. Candles or incense? I prefer incense. Can you juggle? No. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like terrifying wildlife. I'd much rather just take pictures of the little guys and let them go about their business. If we returned to a world without internet, what aspect of online life would you miss the most? YouTube, haha. It's more unique and personal entertainment than television, imo. Are you craving anything aside from food, and if so, what? I want a new piercinggggg. What was the last change you made to your lifestyle? I'm *trying* to get back into regularly making art, along with reading. I'm also really trying to implement drinking more water into my day. What was the last thing you gave up doing? *shrug* What was the last thing to boost your self-esteem? What sort of things typically make you feel good about yourself? It really, really helped to hear my PHP group enjoy my poem about gay rights so much. I was so terrified and did NOT want my therapist to share it, but it turned out being very beneficial. To answer the second question, it's pretty much stuff like I just mentioned: positive reactions to things I create. When it comes to food, do you prefer crunchy or softer textures? Definitely softer. Do you prefer savory or sweet things for breakfast? Hm. Depends on the day, ig. What is something small that you take extremely personally? I'm blanking. What was going on the last time you couldn’t sleep? I just... couldn't sleep. That's not rare for me. Have you drawn anything recently? I recently drew a picture of a still from Rammstein's "Mutter" music video, and I'm now working on Sara's 'kat Alucard. If you're going somewhere close by, do you walk? No. One simply does not walk in this town and not fear being shot. Do you prefer colorful notebooks over plain ones? I like colorful ones, particularly those with a nice pattern or something on it. What's your most ambitious goal? I'd consider wanting to be a successful freelance photographer to be rather ambitious. Do you know anyone named Alex? Well, knew, by this point. One of my closest online friends that just got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the planet when we used to talk every day. I'm still hurt about it, honestly. What's your favorite kind of pie? I don't like pie because of the crust being so, well... crusty and crumbly. Have you ever chatted someone up and scored a date? No. How far would you go with someone you just met? Not very far at all. All you're getting is a hug, if even that. What's your favorite meal to have for dinner? I mean, it depends on what I feel like having. I don't have a set favorite meal. What do you daydream about? The future, mostly. People I miss. Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. <3 We met via YouTube back when it had much more social connection. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, a good number of times. When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? I don't believe I've been ill in any sort of way since I had that ungodly ear infection a few years ago. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, Colleen's house. Mom once tried kicking me out of the car one night otw home, but I didn't listen. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. How many siblings do your parents have? Mom has two brothers and I think one sister, and Dad has one sister. Who last held your hand? My niece or nephew, dragging me somewhere, haha. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? No, not interested. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm watching John Wolfe's playthrough of Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. It's so funny how like... every let's player I watch doesn't enjoy the game, like they miss the incredible symbolism and shy away from the advanced language, and sometimes it's just frustrating to watch them; I only do because I enjoy the game and want to see more people experience it and relive it vicariously. It's very high on my list of favorite games. What sport do you find yourself best at? I wouldn't know; I haven't played any sports in years. I was pretty good at softball as a kid, though. Do you think makeup on guys is freaky or sexy? My opinion shouldn't matter; a man can wear makeup whenever he damn well pleases without worrying what others think. But anyway, I tend to find it attractive, especially if it's goth makeup. Have you ever been accused of a crime you did not commit? No. Do you like pickles? I love dill pickles. What was the craziest moment of your life? Probably just lying in that hospital bed following my OD, my mom and two best friends just sitting there with me. It was such a weird, weird feeling. Like I was just so done, frustrated beyond what I can say. I remember thinking it was almost funny, just how it all built up and went wrong. Where do you spend most of your time? In my room on my bed. What is your favorite muffin? Chocolate chip. Would you ever get a boob job? I already know when/if I lose the weight I want to, it will be kind of a big deal to me and my atrocious body image to get a breast lift. Being overweight ~does things~ you know, and god knows I want every trace of it that can be erased gone. Would you ever go on a reality TV dating show? That's a massive "no" from me, buddy. Would you rather be inside or outside? It depends on where I am and the temperature outside, but generally, inside. Do you like the current president? Well, I voted for him, so I can't shit-talk much. I don't know the true depths of him as a person and all he stands for, though; when I decided I needed to vote, I just did some research on his core values. I don't have any complaints yet, from what I've seen at least, which isn't a lot. Do you whiten your teeth? I've used whitening strips before, but I don't now because they're not that effective. If it's financially plausible at some point in my life, teeth whitening is another thing I want to have medically done because of my previous horrible self-care. My teeth have a clear yellow tint and I hate it. Do you get cold easily? No; it's actually the opposite: I get hot easily. What was the worst sickness you ever had? Probably this one stomach bug I had where I just threw up relentlessly. Like eventually barely even bile would come up; it was just dry heaving. My stomach muscles were in agony. Was your childhood wasted by something? No, thankfully. Would you rather die during an adventure or die like a normal person? A normal person. The idea of having such a sudden death stresses me out for multiple reasons; I mostly don't want my family to just be suddenly devastated, and I honestly want to come to peace with the fact I was dying. Like, find my life's own closure instead of just having it ripped away. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Jesus, I sure hope not. Do you have a gag reflex? A very strong one. Do you ever fantasize about trying drugs? I've wondered before what the effects of weed would be like for me, but "fantasize" is definitely the wrong word. Would you rather have sex before you’re married or wait till marriage? It'd be up to my partner, honestly, because I'm fine with either. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I never did dares because I thought they were stupid. Like I'm not gonna do dumb shit just to show you I can. Do you know anyone who has been raped? I think I might? Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Yeah. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones are just big and clunky and in the way when you use a laptop in bed, plus they irritate my skin. I like how earbuds actually go in your ears for more direct hearing. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? If I wanted children, no, because I don't think I'm capable to give a child like that adequate care, being so mentally ill myself. I wouldn't want to risk worsening their condition. Favorite thing to do with a significant other? Play games together, particularly cute multiplayer ones that are more about the experience of playing together versus getting past difficult obstacles and such. Like for example, one of my favorite memories with Jason is simply playing Little Big Planet together. Favorite ice cream topping? I don't like many toppings on my ice cream, but I do love melted hot fudge. First boyfriend/girlfriend’s name? Aaron. Do you support PETA? Considering they are incredibly self-righteous extremists, no. Do you believe in the Big Bang Theory? Well, I believe in some sort of "god" figure that created the universe, so I don't think so. A condensed ball of nothing exploding to create something so extravagant? It sounds pretty far-fetched to me. But then again, maybe that semblance of a "god" I believe in created the universe through that, idk. It doesn't really matter now, though, does it. What happened happened, I'm not very concerned with it. What insect can you not stand the site of? It's more so larvae that I can't stand the sight of, like maggots and stuff. They make me squirm. Do you like Doctor Who? I've only seen one or two episodes, so I can't say. Do you approve of gay marriage? Of course I do. I'm bisexual and would like to get married, so I might marry a woman. Are you into politics? I'm really not. Do you think the world is ending soon? Nah, even though it sure does feel like it sometimes. Ever been to a mosh pit? No, they don't seem very fun at all. Do you like to debate? NO. NO NO NO. Do you like the band System of a Down? Yeah, I do. Are you German? It's a big part of my heritage. Do your parents like your best friend? Yes. Who’s someone you can act your complete self around? Sara, 100%. She's the only person I feel entirely comfortable around when it comes to being myself. Do you believe in Friday the 13th? I don't believe in there being any supernatural power to it, no. Who is your favorite rapper? Eminem. What age is your youngest aunt? Uhhhh I have no idea. Do you like bowling? Sure, it's fun. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I do. What shows or characters scared you as a child? Ghostface from the Scream series was my worst fucking nightmare. I couldn't even see pictures of him without crying. The King Ramses guy from Courage the Cowardly Dog also gave me a number of nightmares. Something about the way he was animated was very unnatural and unnerving to me.

[ts-into-the-coinverse]

Fairies Love Curious Children

Am I writing something from the perspective of a fairy? Yes. Did I make it angsty? Also yes.

TW: Mentioned/assumed character deaths, implied house fire, a little bit of death talk

Hyacinth considered themself to be mean. It was rather obvious that they were -- they were a fairy. Fairies were mean. Not all of them, but most of them. And Hyacinth was one of the mean ones.

That’s what they thought, at least.

Then one day a little boy caught them in his chubby, tiny hands, and they found out they weren’t as mean as they thought they were.

Don’t get them wrong, when that happened, they were very upset. But instead of throwing out a curse and leaving, they listened. This little boy thought they were a bee. And that was just silly. They looked nothing like a bee -- had he ever seen one before? The most entertaining part was when his mother saw them and screamed. She knew a mean fairy when she saw one. Then the little boy took them back outside and let them go.

“Bye-bye, not-bee.”

Hyacinth liked to pretend those words weren’t what got them to go back, but that would be a lie. To other fairies, Hyacinth went back to show that little boy what a real bee looked like. In reality, they went back because of those few words. It was endearing -- how could they resist?

The next week, when they came back with a bee, they were greeted like an old friend.

“Hello, not-bee.” This little boy clearly didn’t have the best grasp on the human language, his pronunciation was different than what other humans said, but the attempt was there.

Hyacinth flew right up to the little boy and presented the bee. A regular honeybee. Nothing special about it (except, maybe, Hyacinth coerced her into being extra gentle). They knew he wouldn’t be able to understand their words, but they managed. Children always managed to communicate well with fairies despite the language barrier.

He understood what they wanted. With a bright smile (that Hyacinth pretended wasn’t the most precious thing they had ever seen), he held out his hand.

Hyacinth sent the bee to rest on top of it. They sort of expected him to panic at that point. A lot of tiny humans did that. Quite a few bigger humans did that, too. But that didn’t happen. Instead, this little boy’s eyes sparkled in fascination. His smile widened and he brought his hand closer to his face. His nose scrunched up when the bee started walking.

Then the back door opened.

“Hey, Thomas,” a tall person stepped out with a gentle smile. Right away Hyacinth could tell something was different about him. Two magic sources were coming from him, but... that shouldn’t be possible. “What’re you doin’ out here, bud?”

Thomas’s eyes lit up as soon as he heard the voice. “Ani! Ani!” He spun around to face the newcomer, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Look, look! Bee.” He held up his hand higher.

Ani blinked in surprise. “Yes... How did you --?” He spotted Hyacinth hovering nearby. A soft smirk twitched at his lips. “I see. Well, that’s a very nice bee you have there.” He crouched down to be of a closer height to Thomas. “Is she your friend?”

“Yes,” he stated confidently in as serious a voice as a tiny human could muster.

That got Ani to chuckle a bit. “Alright, you little honeybee. It’s time to come inside. Your mom’s been looking everywhere for you.”

As if the bee could tell she was no longer needed, she spread her wings and flew away. Thomas watched her go in surprise. Hyacinth figured he would be sad, but once again, they were proved wrong. They saw a tiny grin appear. He waved to her retreating speck and said, “Bye-bye, bee.”

Ani stood back up to his full height. He was very tall. Hyacinth didn’t think they’d ever seen a person this tall before. Something was up with him for sure. “Let’s get back inside now, okay?”

“Okay.” Thomas grabbed his hand, with his free hand he waved to Hyacinth. “Bye-bye, not-bee.” He gave them an even bigger grin before turning back to Ani. “Where is she going?”

“The bee? She might go back home.”

“Where is that?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Will she come back?’

“Maybe.”

He continued to ask questions even after they got inside.

At that point, Hyacinth had to admit they kept going back because of that. The curiosity. The utter fascination with everything. It was too pure to not come back. Again. Then again. And again. Until it became a habit. Once a week since that day, Hyacinth went back with a bee. Always with a bee. They couldn’t have anyone thinking they were going back because they had a soft spot on a child. They were mean. They didn’t have any soft spots.

But if they did, Thomas was the only one. The little honeybee, as he was starting to be called. And they liked that. They thought that was a better name than Thomas. Bumblebee would have been more accurate, however. He was very clumsy and gentle like one. Also, that tiny human chubbiness to him lent very well to the bumblebee image. But it wasn’t Hyacinth’s place to decide. They still liked it, though, so they started to call him Little Bee in their native tongue. It wasn’t possible for a fairy to speak a human language, such as it wasn’t possible for a human to speak a fairy language, but they found a suitable translation. They may have also decided on Little Bee since he called them not-bee.

Anywho, on those days that they visited, they got to see a varying array of people. As the months passed, they managed to learn who everyone was. According to Little Bee, anyway. Of course, there was Ani, the very tall Magus that Hyacinth had seen before. They rather liked him. He was very kind, yet seemed to exude a similar aura as the fae. They couldn’t figure it out. Not yet. But despite that, he was sweet and caring. He liked to encourage the other little boys to be curious.

Then there was Dad. He pretended to be in charge in order to get the little boys to listen, but Hyacinth could tell it was an act. He didn’t have any authority. Luckily for him, the little boys didn’t know that. He also didn’t seem to mind his lack of authority. He preferred to have fun.

Mama was the one in charge. She was the only woman in the house. Everyone listened to her. But even though she had the most power, she didn’t hold it over anybody. She encouraged safety more than she encouraged fun, though sometimes the little boys took the fun route rather than the safe one. Even so, she loved all of her boys. Big and small.

Drew and Caleb were partners in crime. Drew was the oldest of the boys and a bit of a ringleader. He was the main reason more fun happened than safety. He wasn’t as gentle as the other members of the family, but he wasn’t mean either. He always made sure his brothers were okay if something happened. Caleb was the second oldest. Even though he mostly stuck to Drew like glue, they were not that similar. Caleb was a lot timider -- perhaps the timidest of the bunch. He preferred quiet activities, though most of the time he didn’t get them. That didn’t seem to bother him, though. He liked to play with his brothers.

Then there was little Jonah. The baby. Hyacinth knew the least about him. He didn’t stick around outside much, and when he did, he mostly stayed with Mama. He didn’t speak well, either. One or two words at most. Despite that, he was a real chatterbox. He talked to anything and everyone about nothing. Hyacinth didn’t understand, but it seemed to make perfect sense to Jonah.

It was comforting to know that Little Bee would be in the presence of such wonderful people. Not that that mattered to Hyacinth. Because it didn’t. Whether or not this little boy grew up in a loving environment wasn’t their issue. So no, they did not care. At all. If anything, it meant less work for them. They didn’t have to try to snatch him up.

And no they didn’t think about snatching him up so they could keep him to themself. Don’t be ridiculous.

“Hi, not-bee!” Little Bee grinned from his spot on the porch. A year older and a little better at talking, but he wasn’t quite the master of it yet. He stuck out his hand automatically.

Hyacinth set the bee down on his palm while they fluttered up to sit on his shoulder. That had become their favorite spot as of late. From there they could see Dad and Ani working in the garden.

He brought the bee up to his face and smiled as she crawled around. “You’re a worker bee,” he stated with the only type of confidence a child who learned a new thing could have. “Drew learned that at school. He told me why you like plants. It’s ‘cause you pul -- pol -- poli-ate. Pol-nate.” He nodded. “Yeah! You pol-nate stuff.”

Hyacinth admired the attempt.

He slid off the porch and walked to a nearby plant. He held his hand up to it so the bee could walk on. Once she did, he gazed at her fondly. “Drew and Caleb found a book about you. They gave it to me, but I can’t really read it. I asked Ani for help, but he can’t really read it neither. So Mama helps me.” He smiled. “I’m gonna learn all about you.”

Apparently deciding that was enough interaction for one day, the bee flew off. 

Little Bee watched her go. “I wanna see her house -- or, um...” He seemed to rummage through his brain for the right word. “Hive! That’s where bees live.”

Hyacinth couldn’t help but chuckle at how proud he sounded.

“And then after, I’ll learn all about you, not-bee. I’ll find all the books and Mama will help me read them, and then I’ll know everything.”

Laughter bubbled up from within Hyacinth. This boy had such a thirst for knowledge. They flew up to his face and planted a kiss on his forehead. Hopefully, he never grew out of it.

The following year, Hyacinth was pleased to know that Little Bee had developed his language even further. He still messed up on a lot of words, but he could hold a conversation for longer. He continued to ask questions, or tell Hyacinth about things that he learned, which they continued to find amusing.

He still called them not-bee.

And it was still as endearing as the first time.

Then one week, on the day of Hyacinth’s visit, they didn’t hear the familiar greeting. Instead, they were greeted by a trampled garden and a hollowed-out house. Burned to ash. Not a single soul around.

They let the bee fly away. For the first time, they didn’t care about their pretend reason for being here. There was a little boy that lived here with his family.

They flew into the shell of what remained of a house. There was so much destruction. Right off the bat, they could feel the residual presence of magic. A lot of it. Not the same leftovers of day to day living; that was rarely ever enough to be detected. This was the result of multiple spells fired off at once. From more than one person. Something bad happened here. Something awful.

As Hyacinth flitted about, they got the same results. A bad feeling. Nothing living in sight. Magic on magic. Charred remains of forgotten objects. Something very, very bad happened here.

Little Bee wasn’t anywhere. Not a trace of him or his family.

Except for one thing.

Death.

The stench of death still stained the air, unperceivable by humans, of course, but still there. It was strong enough to feel, as well. There was something unnatural mixed with it. Wrong. People didn’t die this way. Not on accident.

Hyacinth searched for an answer. They searched for a trace of life. But they found nothing. No Mama or Dad or Ani. No Drew, Caleb, or Jonah. Not Little Bee. There was no one left -- nothing left.

Why would anyone bring such destruction on a family? In all the weeks Hyacinth had dropped by, never once did they find cruel intentions in the household. They were all kind. They all cared. They...

There were children in this house. Little boys. Boys meant to explore and be curious and learn.

Hyacinth stared overhead. Maybe they weren’t very mean after all.

[mimik-u]

Flower Child (Chapter 9)

Title: Home (III)

A/N: 

The last of the Beach City filler episodes "Home" installments—I swear, lol. Thank you guys for sticking with "Flower Child." I appreciate each and every one of your Kudos and comments; they never fail to make me feel like I'm on top of the world. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Next week, we'll be back to Empire City, and for the first time in this fic, I think we'll play around in Steven's point of view for a little while. ;)

(Pearl sketch at the bottom.)

AO3

01.

The sand pushed against Garnet, but Garnet pushed back, dragging her feet through the coarse grain that seized at her with millions of grasping hands. Fingers around her swollen ankles. Claws. But she did not stop; she could not afford to stop.

She was afraid that she would let the sand bury her if she did.

The yellow dunes a monument to her cowardice.

To every instinct that had told her to run.

The sun carved itself into her back; she ran to invite its pain, not in spite of it.

Her tank top was slick with sweat, pressed against her skin like a white tattoo; she ran and half-wished the garment would choke her.

Damn coward that she was, she ran.

And she did not look back. The sharp heaving of her chest felt like knives.

One full hour of this—don’t stop—two—don’t look back—and then suddenly, without warning, Garnet’s powerful legs buckled underneath her and she pitched forward in the sand, choking, teeth gritted with the salted grain. She coughed violently, and black spots sprayed across her vision as she fought to maintain a tenuous grip on reality, but it slipped away from her as she dipped her forehead against a fallen, sweat drenched arm. The sun bore down on the back of her exposed neck. Her breath clouded in the pocket between her face and the hot sand. The ocean seethed against the shore.

Garnet closed her eyes.

She let go.

And a memory stole in—soft, vulnerable, a moth fluttering next to a candle.

It was twilight, and the setting sun slanted through the blinds to soak the painfully white walls. An orange that seared. A deep purple that left a bruise. An angry pink, like the aftermath of a blow. Garnet sat on the edge of the railed bed, hands clenched until they were gray on her lap.

And she was still, dreadfully still—a statue on the verge of erosion.

“Garnet?”

She didn’t hear him at first, couldn’t hear anything past the blood boiling in her ears and the unholy trembling of her bones, her chest, her stomach.

“Gaaaaarnet,” he persisted, a teasing edge to his voice. “You’re missing the best part! Toast just broke up with Milk because she thought he was cheating on her with Cereal, and now they’re both crying about it on split screens! Oh, wait—no! I spoke too soon! Toast, Milk, and Cereal are all crying on triple split screens! Gosh, this is good stuff!”

It was Monday night, which meant that a new Crying Breakfast Friends was on. A show about clinically depressed breakfast items, it was somehow Steven’s favorite.

He liked to gush about it.

This was normal, she told herself.

This was normal. She bit her lip so hard that blood welled where she split it.

This was normal. She couldn’t look at him.

This was normal. His empty catheter bag hung limply off the side of the bed.

“Pearl said that I need to, uh, critically examine the stuff I watch, though, so if I’m being honest, the problem here is kinda forced. Cereal is obviously not into romantic relationships, and she just views Milk as a friend, which is totes cool, but I appreciate the character development they’re giving her.”

Kidney failure.

He had kidney failure.

He was thirteen years old, dammit, and he had—

“Because you see,” he continued over the sound of a closely whirring machine, over the sound of her spiraling panic, “Cereal never shows emotion. Like, ever, and she really values her friendships with both Toast and Milk, so this being the thing that breaks her is actually kinda sweet.”

Dr. Maheswaran’s lined face had fallen into geometric disarray when she had told them, all of her harshness slipping into nothingness, into a helplessness they had only seen her wear once before.

The day of Rose’s funeral.

“I’m sorry,” she had whispered. “I’m so sorry that this has happened.”

“And what I’m trying to say, Garnet, is that you’re spacing out right now, and it’s really scaring me,” Steven said, his voice vulnerable with the admission, cracked.

The words were distant to her, landing in her ears but traveling no further. Even so, Garnet painfully drew her head up to look at him; it felt as though there was a weight upon her neck, a yoke, an iron clasp, a world.

His dark eyes burned into hers, and they were the only things that did; the rest of his features were pale, ghostly, having long lost their beautiful olive tint to sickness.

He was thirteen.

He had kidney failure.

“Please,” he murmured softly, extending his chubby hand towards her—as far as all of the tubing and wires would allow. “I need you to be here for me, Garnet. If you’re scared, let’s be scared together.  Because I’m kind of scared, and everyone else is gone, but you’re here, and yet, you’re not really here, and I—”

She was slow, slower than she usually was when it came to comforting Steven. He scraped his knee after falling down? Easy. She could scoop him up into her strong arms and blow raspberries onto his tubby belly until he forgot the sting. Emotional episode of Crying Breakfast Friends? She’d pass him the tissue box seconds before he even opened his mouth to ask for it.

But this?

This?

This was uncharted territory—for Steven, for her, for Greg, Amethyst, and Pearl.

So she was slow, achingly slow, to close the distance between them, to wrap Steven into her arms, to place her chin on the crown of his curls.

But she managed it.

(How? She couldn’t say.)

She rubbed soothing circles into the small of his gowned back and whispered, “I’m here.”

I’m here.

I’m here.

I’m here.

In the warm shield of her arms, Steven began to cry.

Barely five minutes had passed, but they felt like an eternity as Garnet finally pushed herself out of the sand and into a tentative sitting position, lightheaded from the heat and yet heavy with exhaustion. She could have floated away; she could have melted into the ground.

But both of these options were untenable.

She had to—she stumbled gracelessly to her feet—get to—she palmed a sweaty hand across her face—Steven. A low growl tore through her teeth as she began to run.

The sand pushed against Garnet, but Garnet pushed back, hands scissoring the still air, thighs burning with the exertion. She felt the clever trappings of the yellow grain, felt the particles climb up her skin and entreat her to stay, but she did not stop; she could not afford to stop.

She had a purpose now.

Something… someone… to run home to.

One full hour of this, but not quite two—she was fast, determined, indomitable—and the beach house came into view, snugly perched on the cliff, its railings newly livened up by a multitude of colorful balloons. Garnet only slowed to a walk when her foot found purchase on a stair, lead pooling suddenly onto its weight. 

Nearly four hours of running, and she’d forgotten her water bottle in her haste to leave. Her lips, her throat, her entire body were scorched, but she paid no mind to these little details as she dragged herself up the stairs, one sluggish foot after another. 

She had to—she crossed the wooden deck—get to—she wrapped her glistening fingers around the door handle—Steven.

Garnet opened the door.

A whoosh of cold air rose to greet her, and she was able to pry her eyes out of their half-lidded weariness. The ceiling fan in the living room whirred. Kneeling next to the coffee table, Peridot and Lapis looked up from where they had been counting plastic utensils.

Peridot opened her mouth as though to speak, but someone else beat her to the punch.

“Garnet?”

Her head shot to the left, and there Steven was—sitting on his bed, his pale face awash with relief.

She was slow, achingly slow, as she climbed the couple of steps leading up to the loft.

But she didn’t have to go much further.

Steven slid off his bed and met her halfway, curling his arms around her sweaty leg.

“I’m here,” she said softly, placing a tentative hand on his curls.

I’m here.

I’m here.

I’m here.

(And I’m sorry.)

“Ugh,” he replied with a grin, scrunching up his button nose, “you stink, Garnet.”

02.

Naturally, the fish fry was a success—as it always was with Pearl at the organizational helm.

Only a handful of people lived in Beach City, true, but this very handful invited their friends and family from neighboring towns and cities, and fifteen odd people somehow became nearly one hundred. By five, around seven hundred dollars had been raised, and they hadn’t even looked at the bids for their silent auction yet! (Vidalia was offering up some of her artwork, and Boardwalk vendors like Mr. Fryman and Kofi had been gracious enough to donate services like free catering to the pool of available items.)

Leaning against the porch railing, Pearl surveyed the view in front of her and waited for the swell of pride that usually congratulated her after a night of such accomplishment. Garnet and Amethyst had arranged round tables all over their little stretch of beach, and sitting at the front of the deck, a long, rectangular table boasted scant and scattered piles of white to-go boxes, the pitiful remnant of what had once been teetering pyramids. (Surely, people would snag the last couple on their way out, just to have leftovers for tomorrow.) The sun, golden and blurred around the edges, sunk into the low neck of the horizon, casting lovely, shimmering images on the ocean just beyond the beach. People were laughing and talking and dancing to some hip electronic song that Vidalia’s DJ son was blaring through his tall speakers.

The day had been perfect.

So why did Pearl feel like she was about to throw up?

Maybe it was the way various people from town kept coming up to her and asking after Steven. They meant well, but their sympathetic eyes and the pity in their voices and the subtle relief in their faces (I’m glad it’s not me) started to blend and grate after awhile.

“Ah, poor Universe,” Mayor Dewey sighed, tsking lightly. “It just doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

“Sweet kid.” Barb Miller knocked her affectionately in the shoulder (nearly barreling her over in the process). “I just dunno if I could do it if it was my Sadie.”

“You tell Steven that he’s welcome to come to Funland at anytime, ya hear?” Mr. Smiley smiled, all teeth, brimming with an ungodly kind of optimism.

“He’s not looking good, is he?”

“You guys are doing the Lord’s work.”

“Has there been any news?”

“I’m bringing a casserole over soon!”

And on and on. Pearl’s hand drifted to her stomach, and her eyes drifted down to one of the tables closest to the house, where Garnet was sitting alone, her expression seemingly vacant behind her trademark sunglasses. But Pearl was perceptive, and what’s more, familiar with Garnet after nearly two decades of being her roommate. The sculptured lines of her muscles were tense, electric with nerves. Her legs were crossed, but the foot she had on the ground bobbed out of time with Sour Cream’s music.

Maybe it was the knowledge that tonight, she’d sit across Garnet and tell her about the contents of Dr. Maheswaran’s letter. She’d have to watch as Garnet’s stoic features would crumple as she registered the words feeding tube, how her hands would clench tightly on her lap in the place of spoken words. 

Maybe it was the fact that Steven had only picked at his grilled fish tonight, had nibbled on an unsalted french fry or two before shoving his plate away apologetically.

“I’m just not hungry.” He’d said the same thing about his pancakes this morning. He’d thrown up the one pancake that he could stomach.

Or maybe it was the way Amethyst’s brown eyes had dulled after Pearl had grabbed her arm earlier this evening and told her that they were going to have a family meeting on the deck.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” Her voice was quiet, scratchy in all of her vulnerable places.

Pearl stifled the urge to look away and could only manage a curt nod.

“I figured as much,” she sighed, pulling a hand across the back of her neck. “Dr. M was really antsy this week. Guess that can’t mean anything good.”

She searched for Amethyst now and found that she was with Steven. They were sitting on the shoreline, backs to the house, eyes on the setting sun. She had one plump arm slung around his shoulders. In the dying light, her long hair was a brilliant silver stream.

Jealousy nicked at her with an unexpected sting, a little paper cut right across her sternum, one inch long.

She wanted to know what they were talking about.

Wanted to cling to every word that came out of his mouth.

Every moment… every hour, every minute, every second… was precious with him nowadays.

He was an hourglass turned over, slowly trickling away.

Maybe she’d go down there and join them…

Maybe that would abate the awful mess of her stomach…

Maybe was her constant refrain tonight.

Uncertainty was the word.

“Ya’ve done it again, Pearl.”

Pearl blinked, and with a jolt, realized that Greg had joined her on the balcony, an appreciative grin stretched across his red face as he greeted her. In an old, white tank top and ripped jean shorts, he was just as Greg as ever, but his bleary eyes betrayed him (just as Garnet’s foot did her and Amethyst’s dull expression spoke volumes). His tired gaze slid to where Steven and Amethyst sat on the beach, following where hers had just been, and his smile seemed to take on the subtle tinges of sadness as he absorbed the simple image.

She regained her composure with a tiny cough. “Ah, thank you, Greg. I’ve been meaning to catch you by the way. We’re having a family—”

He cut across her as kindly as anyone cutting across someone could manage. “—meeting tonight. Yeah, I know.” He jerked his thumb down below. “Garnet told me.”

“Oh.”

“Mhm.”

They lapsed into silence. There was nothing left to say; there were oceans. (But neither of them were particularly good at navigating the rough waters, so they remained silent in an attempt to not choke on salt.)

The party swirled on without them.

People laughing.

Talking.

Dancing.

Enjoying themselves.

They were all but alien creatures, every single one of them.

How were they so happy?

So carefree?

How was their world not bleak and gray and centered around a little boy named Steven?

“Pearl?” Greg asked after a long while.

“Hm?” She slid a curious glance his way, but he never took his eyes away from the darkening silhouettes of Amethyst and Steven; they were but specks in the distance now, bathed in the dusky sun.

“Do you remember what Rose used to say about sunsets? She had this whole speech about them, and I can almost hear it in my mind, but I honestly can’t remember it word for word.” He chuckled lightly and tapped the side of his balding head. “The years are catchin’ up to me, I guess.”

The mere mention of her name sent an involuntary shiver down Pearl’s spine. She wanted to hug herself; she wanted to wrap herself around the name and be left alone to mourn for it, but all the same, she knew instantly what Greg was searching for in her memories.

Her voice was thick as she volunteered it.

“She loved sunsets,” she whispered, looking down at her hand on the railing. Pale and cold, it was knotted with tiny goosebumps; the wooden grain beneath it was simply knotted by time and wind and salt. “And when she was… sick, you know, she used to say that sunsets were lovely ways to think about life and death and everything in-between. They’re explosions, riots of color that precede beautiful, star-strewn nights. She—”

Pearl faltered; she couldn’t go on.

“She said she was a sunset, didn’t she?” Greg said softly when he realized this. “She said that we shouldn’t grieve for her… that we should appreciate the night she leaves behind.”

She couldn’t say yes so much as she could intimate it.

She nodded very slowly and tried to smile.

He shot her a watery grin in return.

The first stars began to pop up in the vast canvas of sky; Steven lifted his arm to point at them.

03. 

By seven, nearly all of their guests had finally left; what stragglers remained helped clean up. By eight, the beach was all but pristine, the fish fry eradicated from its silky existence. All that remained were the multitude of collapsed tables that they had leaned against the deck for the night. Greg would take ‘em back to their storage unit sometime tomorrow. By nine, Steven had taken his bath and was tucked into bed by all four of his guardians.

“G’night, Stu-ball.”

“Goodnight, Steven.”

“Night.”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite, Ste-man,” Amethyst grinned before promptly attacking his blanketed feet. 

He giggled, the others stepped down from the loft, and then he surreptitiously whispered out of the corner of his mouth, “The window!”

She winked at him conspiratorially before descending herself.

When everyone was in their respective rooms, getting into their pajamas, Amethyst snuck into the darkened living room and moved deftly towards the corner that was opposite to Steven’s loft; with its L-shaped bench and plush cushions, it was more or less a reading nook for nerds like Pearl and Peridot to make themselves comfortable in. Glancing around to make sure that no other adult was observing—she was pretty sure she could detect a dark pair of fourteen-year old eyes glinting at her from across the room—she unlatched the lock in the window that overlooked the deck and pushed the glass an inch or so upwards. A narrow strip of humid air snuck its way into the cool room.

She gave Steven a thumbs up she wasn’t entirely sure he could see before scurrying off to her own room to pull on her own nighttime gear (a tank top and booty shorts, of course).

By 9:30, their little coterie was assembled at the white table that perched conveniently on the far corner of the deck, asses already chafing in the uncomfortable plastic chairs. (“I’ll eventually get us cushions,” Pearl often claimed. “I’m just waiting to find a set that complements the house best.” “Jesus,” Amethyst moaned in return.) Pearl sat lightly at the edge of her own chair and squinted at a tiny slip of paper that was barely illuminated by the soft, yellow porch light; Amethyst immediately recognized it as one of the papers that Dr. Maheswaran had wanted her to pass on.

As furtively as possible, she snuck a glance at the crack in the window that no one had yet to notice, thrilling a little at their clever subterfuge.

“So, uhh, what’s in that letter, Pearl?” Greg asked, nervously eyeing the note. He didn’t know the contents—none of them did—but there was something in Pearl’s features—something dark, something bleak—that spoke to their worst assumptions. Amethyst stiffened in her seat to prepare for the blow, never quite letting the window leave the periphery of her vision as she did.

Shit, maybe she shouldn’t have done this.

Pearl opened her mouth and then promptly shut it, and then opened it again but no words came out. Silently, she passed the paper to her left, to Garnet, who scanned Maheswaran’s piss poor handwriting before shoving the paper into Greg’s surprised hands.

She didn’t have her sunglasses on.

Her eyes, one blue, the other brown, stared wildly into space.

Amethyst was suddenly stricken of the image of a wounded animal—cornered, desperate, doomed.

“No, no,” Greg shook his head, his low voice rising with each denial. “It’s too soon for that. We can’t be there yet. He’s still eating. He’s—” The note had crumpled in his large hand.

“He’s puking up nearly everything we give him,” Pearl said lifelessly, staring down at the table. “That can’t be healthy for him.”

Amethyst impatiently snatched the letter from Greg’s clenched hand. “Lemme see!”

She smoothed out the wrinkles as much as she could manage and read:

Pearl,

Steven’s health has declined considerably in the past few weeks. You all have probably noticed it and let me be quick to assure you that it isn’t because any lapse on your behalves. Chronic kidney disease tends to progress faster in adolescents.

All the same, he’s lost seven pounds since May, and with the onset of anemia, he’s at risk of losing even more, amongst other complications. My advice to you this week is to ensure that he strictly follows the dietician’s recommendations for caloric intake. Additionally, he absolutely must take those iron pills in order to encourage red blood cell production in his body.

If I find that his condition has worsened by the end of this week, then I think our best step forward is hospitalizing him again, so that we can supplement his nutrition with a feeding tube—

She didn’t read any further, didn’t have to, dammit, and she cast the offending object away as though burned. Wrinkled and worn, it landed in the center of the table, an eyesore that drew all of their baleful glares.

For the most part, the letter was fine.

Hell, it was in the ballpark of the kind of stuff Dr. M usually sent.

It was just those two words.

Feeding tube.

He might need a feeding tube.

Greg was right.

They couldn’t be there yet.

It was way too soon.

“Dammit,” she said aloud, only remembering at the last second that it was carrying to ears beyond the ones at the table. (With every passing second, with every new drop of horror pooling in her belly, Amethyst regretted letting him listen in. He’d just been so persuasive on the beach, so ready to accept the consequences of what he could possibly hear… but even if he was prepared, she wasn’t so sure that she was.)

“Crude,” Pearl sighed, pinching the bridge of her sharp nose, “but accurate.”

Garnet shifted in her seat, her mouth set into an impossibly firm line that only budged when she spoke; her words were tense, pushed out through gritted teeth. “So what now?”

“Pardon?”

“What do we do now?” she asked, as though it was the most obvious question in the world, and perhaps it very well was. Dr. M had given them a possible consequence, and now they had to do their best to avoid it coming into fruition—if that was even possible.

Amethyst pulled the paper back to her side of the table, glanced over it one more time.

My advice to you this week is to ensure that he strictly follows the dietician’s recommendations for caloric intake. Additionally, he absolutely must take those iron pills in order to encourage red blood cell production in his body.

“I guess we just try to follow Dr. M’s orders,” she shrugged when no one else was forthcoming, but even the act of shrugging seemed like a betrayal to the situation at hand. Her mouth was achingly dry. “Make sure he eats, give him his medicine, and yadda-yadda-yadda. It’s not a lot to work with, but it’s, like, better than nothing.”

“Well said,” Greg murmured, and to her relief, both Garnet and Pearl eventually brought themselves to nod.

“Better than nothing,” Garnet repeated, seemingly to herself. And then her bicolored eyes seemed to focus, as though drawing themselves back to the present. She blinked once and offered a lopsided grin to Amethyst, and Amethyst felt a sudden rush of grateful heat clamor up her cheeks. It’d been far too long since one of those had graced her features.

“Then I suppose that settles that,” Pearl said with visible relief, reaching across the table and reclaiming the note. She appeared a little less harried now that they had established a game plan. “Before we disperse, we should probably cover our finances for—”

Amethyst hadn’t even opened her mouth to call Pearl lame when an ominous plunk resounded from inside the house—dull but louder than it should have been. Closest to the window, but not facing it, Pearl whipped her head around and ascertained the crack with a choking gasp.

“Has that been open this whole time?!”

Amethyst suddenly found herself very interested in a lightning shaped crack in the table, but luckily enough, Pearl was more focused on examining the source of the noise—please be one of the cats, she hoped against hope—than actively being suspicious about a window that they usually kept closed all the time. She sprung gracefully from her chair and opened the door as quietly as she could possibly manage, sticking her head in to look.

“Oh, my God! Steven!”

[revebedie]

.’*~ ALONE REUNION ~*’.

chapter 1 ~ First Step 

Sunmmary : Series written by me, it shows up that the reader (me) was being very introvert and a male hater too (aka insecure around them)   ..but sometimes things change when you start recognizing the truth and enjoying it happily ! no matter what !

Characters : BTS members, TWICE members (except the maknae line), and y/n 

Genre : fluff, angst and slight comedy ~

Chapter : 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , . . .

PS : I created this series for myself and also for y’all if you’d love to, i’m working on the next chapter,pls tell me if this is okay, if there were any mistakes pls let me know in the comments ... 

god i love how imagination got me enjoy!

Ships : y/n x Jihyo 

Word Count : 3.1k words

    Life has been driving me in a lot of strange situations, after I finished my first year in high school, I have exerted all of my possible efforts for my midterms and the finals too, i was feeling more than conscious about my studies, whenever i missed a note or just one important line, i could not surpass it until i memorized it well, so i had to keep all of my brain and the revisions altogether in one place at the same time, which had a very negative impact on my mental thinking, not to be a psycho but, this complicated year got me anxious and so depressed, like my life depended only on these tests and those hours that should not be wasted on useless stuff, I literally didn’t know how i survived all of this, thank god vacation had come, which was actually wasted normally, doing nothing, that’s it, there was nothing new or just like a little thing that would light up my life through all this dullness, no trips, no zoos or theme parks were in my vacation list, although i wish i could do all of that, but living so miserably, so that’s why my time during vacation was just like an empty bottle in the middle of a harsh desert, in case of socializing i was an extreme introvert, as i didn’t have much friends, or i had none, leaving me in a hole of overthinking about heavenly things like a blessing place, or a dream that was going to overlap with my reality, in the middle of all this i pictured myself having ..just eight nice friends and also my girlfriend, who were the only thing that helped me hold my patience all the time, i don’t get to meet them often, because they had to fly to korea for their special family events, but at the same time i always feel proud of the nine of them, i loved to feel warm and sweet to them ..i just love them unconditionally ..

    Not less that three months of empty vacation and i started my second year in high school where the number of subjects in my schedule has decreased,but they were very full in all their meanings, i felt a little bit relieved, as the world has changed a lot, but the school hasn’t changed yet, where the same mean young bullies were still there hoping for some anger and jealousy time, they were all hating me and making fun of me because i was a little bit chubby, meaning that i didn’t have that beautiful woman body that all people love to stick to, and especially because I hated males, I hated them very much that I could be friends with all the women in the world without any help from the men, I hated them, all of this happened after I broke up with two exes, first an ex boyfriend named Jack who was very violent and the second is an ex girlfriend named Amy who was king of revenge lover and she got into it really much that she made me get involved in it, I cut my sight from them because they were always deceiving me all the time, but fast not at least I got to know my best nine sweeties of all the time where one of them confessed her love to me and I couldn't handle it, it was all when she first joined the cheerleader group, they were so judge-y whenever a girl not from them comes to say just hello to them, but this sweetheart was aware of their behaviours towards me, I mean she was so nice, so nice that she advised them for what they need to be whilst talking to anyone, she came to me when i was in front of my locker checking out about our days, she was also smooth and goofy that we always tend to meet everyday this year..

    "Are you sure this is the same page??" I asked running along the school hall, no one paid attention to me, I was panting like a dog, my old friend since childhood, Kitty, saw me and helped me with the question, "I don't know, I'm not sure about this tho .." she answered with a concerned face, putting her hands in her jacket pockets, couldn't smile, I got disappointed, "Oh oh, I remembered, ..yes this is the same page, I remembered that cursive headline above and that small underline here !!" She startled me, I shocked like electricity when she talked, she was characterized by her surprising way of talking, I smiled widely at her sentence, and we started to notice some definitions on the page, then we headed to our lockers, Jihyo saw me with my old school friend, "Hi there!" She greeted us, we greeted her in response, "I didn't know you had a childhood friend, y/n !" I was contemplating at her words, "Yeah, I didn't know she moved here to this school too, ...Kitty, this Jihyo, ..Jihyo, this is Kitty.." i got them both recognizing each other, they both greeted each other smiles shown on their faces, but I put on a fake smile at their handshake, I frowned a bit, she didn’t even realize that I wasn’t so surprised to meet kitty, my old problematic friend, we always tortured each other from time to time, and we come back together like nothing happened between the both of us, she might have met Jihyo before, but our minds tend to remove her instead, ‘’Oh by the way i got the full mark in biology test last year !!’’ Kitty finally started talking in this awkward silence, ‘’Oh my god, congratulations !!’’ Jihyo cheered as she did a little clapping dance, ‘’Hurray, Katswell, well done!’’ I sang with low voice in jealousy, ‘’No not you, I told you that before, Jihyo hadn’t known about my success yet,..’’ Kitty said with a smirk, I rolled my eyes in annoyance and Jihyo didn’t know how to react but to laugh at my reaction instead, as she winked at me so that I laughed too, ‘’Aw y/n, looks like you didn’t miss me, but i missed you too’’ she said with a baby voice, I nodded a yes while I was looking at the floor, ‘’Oh wait, I gotta go to the class, unfortunately we are not in the same class, y/n, see ya !’’ we waved right back at each other.

    Glancing back at Jihyo, I shocked in fright as I didn’t know that her other girls were right behind her, ‘’OH MY GOSH’’ I got startled, they all smiled and laughed at my reaction, ‘’Hey girls, you shouldn’t have stuck to my back like a glue !’’ Jihyo said directing her words towards them with a blank face, ‘’it’s okay Ji, that’s what friends do together, right girls?’’, i asked with a hype, trying to calm a nerve, they all nodded in agreement, ‘’See, Jihyo? you were right, we always make her day !’’ Sana said with a happy yell, ‘’Please y/n, I don’t want you to be too much on yourself, that will not help you to eat !’’ Jeongyeon replied putting two notebooks inside the locker replacing them with a sandwich and handed it to me after she saw that my lunch box contained nothing but an apple juice box and two toasts, I soften my face at her offer, she drew a smile on my face ‘’Thanks Jeongie .., but you know I have been trying to shrink myself.., it sucks having such a strange difference that bothers some people..’’ , the 3mix widened their eyes in surprise, ‘’Oh come on , she was telling you not to be hard on yourself !!’’ Nayeon said frowning, ‘’Oh no don’t tell me that y/n is going still on that harsh diet ..’’ Sana sighed in discomfort, leaning her head from Jihyo’s back, ‘’Please don’t let go of these cute chubs !’’ Mina said hovering her arms from behind me in a back hug, ‘’I’m really confused, I mean ..I wear the same goddamn uncomfortable outfits every single season and they never fit me’’ I sighed in exhaust, ‘’But why didn’t you get new clothes ??’’ Jihyo asked with a confused face when she closed her locker, ‘’Two shirts and two pants are the only thing I bought the whole vacation and you know they are not my type because I rarely go out ..’’ I answered with a little broken laugh when Mina let go off her back hug, ‘’Babe, next time you want to wear something new and simple just try to come by our house, where some of my comfy sweaters are waiting for you ..okay?’’ she said with a quiet voice and a soft smile, she walked forward to me and cupped my cheeks, we were a few inches apart between our lips, ‘’okay !’’ i said after I bit my bottom lip, she smiled and gave me a small peck on my lips and we giggled.., not caring if someone judged or anything ..,‘’Wait a minute ..where’s Momo ?’’ Nayeon asked with a confused look, ‘’She told me she was going to the cafeteria to ask about the new foods in lunch time’’ Sana replied staring at the end of the hallway, ‘’Really?? it’s still 8:30..′’ Mina scoffed before she picked her stuff from the locker, me and Jihyo were hugging for like ten minutes, and we could feel them judging because that’s what we still know in our hearts, it was something like habit to embrace each other’s existence ‘’Wait, I haven’t seen Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu today ! where are they ??’’ I asked in surprise, ‘’They decided to spend this year with their families..didn’t they tell you?’’ Jihyo said tangling her fingers with mine, ‘’WHAT ! I thought they were going on a road trip !..’’ Nayeon yelled in the middle of us, she yelled that Jeongyeon almost hit top of her head against her locker ‘’GOD, who told you that ??’’ she yelled back, ‘’Tzuyu told me ..’’ Nayeon said crossing her arms against her chest, ‘’Liar !’’ Jeongyeon whispered in her breath while patting her top of her head, ‘’What !!!??! Tzuyu lied to me ?!?!’’ Nayeon said with a frown and wide eyes, as long as we start discussion about high school and stuff, we cackled and gossiped a lot, then a shaking scream was flowing through our ears “HEYYYY!!!!”

    The scream was coming from the end of the hallway where there were the library, school clinic and the cafeteria, of course it was Momo, she came along with her scream, dancing while heading to the group happily, “Hey girls,guess wh- .. Y/N !!” she sprinted into my arms to hug me, I wrapped my hands around her tightly, I could feel her giggle vibrating throughout my body, I loved Momo and she loved me so much, that she always come to Jihyo to stick the song “I love Morga more than you do, Leader!” in her mind, you can say that she missed me so much and I missed her too, “y/n, it’s been a long time since we hugged !” she said with a squeaky voice still having her arms wrapped around my waist after she kissed my cheeks, “HEY ! I haven’t hugged her too” Sana screeched in a dorky way reaching her head of her locker before she closed it, she came into the hug with her bright eye smile which needed a camera to be shot, they both wrapped their arms around me more tightly that my waist was going to vanish, but honestly their hugs were very warm, seriously if I were to be freezing the whole day, I would order like millions of their soft hugs, “Guess what y/n...I reserved a lot for lunch! for all of us !” Momo whispered in my right ear, “Guess what y/n...Momo is gonna eat it all ..” Sana whispered in my left ear, I shivered at their whispers against my skin, “Y’all please I can’t brea-..” I groaned before they let go of me, smirking away, Jihyo pouted at what they did to me, patting on me as if they damaged me or something, holding me away to her locker, “Please look how jealous she is !” Jeongyeon said with a loud laugh, making fun of her pouty face, but Jihyo didn’t mind it at all, she laughed at herself too, “Y’all please, let’s go to the class, poor Mina has been judging all of you for minutes ...” Nayeon scoffed and let out a sarcastic laugh, after the bell had rung we walked along the hallway in a queue heading to the class holding notebooks and little notes for the first day together in the new year ..

    Later that morning, I had classes with the girls, it felt so quiet as the new lesson was a little awkward, I felt as if the start was a little complicated, but who knows? ..maybe the start is strange but the rest will be okay !, I still realize that the same seven boys who were with us in our class last year, are still in the same class with us this year, I didn’t want to get along with any of them since i hated all boys there, maybe all girls have flirted with them but I still don’t find it hot as they see till now, I walked with Jihyo along the school hall heading to the cafeteria together after we had known that the girls competed us on who will be the first to get there, we flashed that ‘whatever’ look on our faces, we glanced and pointed to the new doors, halls and clubs..Holding each others’ hands , rubbing our digits against our palms, smiling to our faces, eye contacts..ugh it felt like spending time with an angel, teenagers were shuffling in different directions across the hallway , until a strange guy in a black hoodie and blue jeans, having his yellow cap upwards to allow little hair of him on his forehead, he was walking towards us, papers in his hands and a pen sticking to them, he was smiling widely, ‘’Jihyo, there is someone coming to us’’ I whispered to Jihyo as if he was going to rush to us,’’Don’t worry, we gonna deal with this ‘’ Jihyo reassured before she returned back her smile, ‘’Hello there! nice to meet you!’’ he said keeping his smile, and tugging the papers against his chest ‘’My name is Hoseok!’’ putting his hand out for a handshake ,’’Nice to meet you too!’’ Jihyo smiled, going for the handshake excitedly , ‘’I’m Jihyo’’ she said before glancing at me who was smiling awkwardly at nothing, ‘’..and this is my friend y/n !’’ , i gave a little hand wave before she looked back at him with a giggle,’’Oh, uhm.. I’m sorry if I disturbed you too, but we are looking for new members for our dance club! we have like zero in our club, but we need like ..five people, what do you say?’’ he asked with a chuckle ,’’We can participate , what do you think, y/n?’’ she asked turning her face to me with a small smile, ‘’I don’t know, I’m not good at dancing..’’ I said with a low tone, ‘’Don’t worry my friend I’m the captain of the dancing team, I can teach you!’’ he preached with his head tilting, ‘’No,I mean..I just.. I do not feel like dancing ‘’ I said avoiding eye contact.. 

   I know I hated to talk to boys, but his kindness and his smile got me into the hole of shame, I didn’t know how to react or talk, Maybe it is the first time meeting some guy nice like him, I was in between shy and shocked, I really hoped no one was looking at me and at my cold behavior, couple of seconds have passed by and all students were hurrying to the cafeteria , ‘’Hey, maybe we can both think about it later?” Jihyo finally released her words, “Of course, no problem!’’ Hoseok’s words woke me up from my internal silence and waved back at us while directing to the cafeteria which we went to quickly,the cafeteria was wide and fresh, large tables surrounded by colorful chairs, the smell of bacon and cheese was weaving across the place, everyone was having their lunch, some were eating and gossiping and some were preparing their papers, we finally found our table which my girls chose for lunch,”Looks like you two lost, but.. just forget it” Jeongyeon sighed before she took a sip of her coffee, “Hey,don’t tell anyone,but here is your lunch I’ve packed for you!” Nayeon hissed as she passed Jihyo’s lunch behind her right arm wanting to hide it, in order not to be realized by others but only her, “What?” Jihyo replied in confusion, Nayeon leaned closer to Jihyo so she could whisper in her ear “You know they love to steal some bites from each other..’’ she smirked, “Nayeon,you are making her think dirty-..” Mina cut Nayeon’s words, “..each others’ lunches “ Nayeon raised her voice a little, plus giving Mina a smirk and a dark glare, Jihyo rolled her eyes in exhaust  returning them to look at me lowering my face down in shame eating my toast in silence, swallowing hard, “Do you want a drink, babe?” she asked me quietly, I nodded my head ’no’ before she patted on my back and rubbed it in circles which could warm me, she got closer and rested her cheek against my shoulder, I thought  she was going to chit chat with me about the club dance thing, but no, she didn’t make a big deal out of it, ‘’You still sad ?’’ she whispered next to me, ‘’What ? no, I’m not,..shame on me.’’ I mumbled, ‘’No, why?’’, ‘’It’s just ..I shouldn’t have treated him like this cold.’’ , ‘’But you were so nice, with little fact that you couldn’t put on a smile, I can consider your words were just normal.’’ , ‘’I just thought I embarassed someone..’’ ,‘’No, sweetie, it’s fine, although this is the first time i see you treat some guy like this...quiet’’ she got her last words before Kitty startled me with her voice again, as she hissed my name behind me, Jihyo didn’t notice her, but it was me who did anyways, we both shook in surprise, feeling annoyed at what she did, ‘’MORGA, GOOD NEWS !!’’ 

[totallyseventeen]

Soulmate AU | Soonyoung

In which you and Soonyoung are soulmates.

Non-Idol Soonyoung x Artistic Reader

This is my first work ever posted to Tumblr, so I really hope you enjoy!

It all started in kindergarten. You were sitting at your little desk while meticulously coloring, and you saw a crudely drawn smiley face appear on the top of your hand. Like any five year old would do, you stand up and scream. The teacher rushed over to your side, and after hearing what happened, she told you about soulmates.

It wasn’t an unfamiliar concept to you; your parents had mentioned the term numerous times before, but you just brushed it aside. Your teacher explained that everyone has a link to their soulmate, but those links vary from couple to couple. She then told you about your link. Whatever you soulmate wrote on himself, you could see and vise versa.

You stared at the smiley face on your hand and admired it. Yes, it was a very bad smiley face. The smile was very crooked and the eyes were so off it was laughable, but it was from your soulmate. You ran back to your desk and snatched a baby blue magic marker and wrote “Hi :)” in sloppy letters on your forearm.

That was the first time you and your soulmate ever had contact, but that was years ago. Now, you are nineteen and have much more knowledge about your soulmate. You learned that he was Korean very quickly, as having strange characters pop up on your arm worried both you and your parents. You learned the language over a long period of time, and your soulmate learned some English, but he is still learning.

He loves to dance. You learned that when he scribbled odd lines and dots along your arm. After a few minutes he wrote an explanation on his hand saying how it was choreography. You attempted to decipher and do it yourself, but you couldn’t distinguish what he meant by the mess of lines mapped out on your arm.

He loved his friends, as well as making people laugh. He would often write down really cheesy jokes where he knew you would see it just so you would laugh. His friends were also very prevalent in his life. They would often prank him by drawing things on him which transferred over to you too. You didn’t mind it that much though. It was a (rather unfortunate) method to discovering more about him and his life.

You also tried to show him a part of yourself. You loved to doodle on yourself. Art was a form of expressing yourself when words couldn’t do justice. The doodles ranged in size from a small little flower blossoming from your nail bed, to a beautiful, intricate lion that took up your entire hand. What you didn’t know was your soulmate watched the creations come to life. It was the highlight of his day to see the ink from your pen magically appear on his skin while swirling into intricate designs he could never have imagined. It was like a window into your emotions. The doodles depicted an aspect of your mood to your soulmate, and he treasured your doodles. He would even flaunt them to his friends and brag about your talent.

Of course, both of you attempted to divulge your names or your location. When you tried to write that information down, the ink swirled around like it was mixed with water. It swirled around which made the writing illegible. It was a very frustrating ordeal, but it did create a wonderful water-color like design. You supposed it was like the universe saying sorry for the trouble.

You woke up on this particular day and were immediately dreading the day. You moved to Korea about a year ago. You made this big leap to try to become one step closer to meeting your soulmate. You let your soulmate know through a vague message that simply stated “I’m moving to you.” He immediately began writing when he saw that message, but it was all blurred out. A small smile made its way onto your face when you saw how excited he was.

You have been here a year, as said before, and you are working in a little coffee shop in Seoul. It is a quaint little shop that has a feeling of peace within it, well, when it isn’t full of customers. The shop is located near a fairly busy street that creates a lot of foot traffic, generating a good crowd. The only bad thing about this set up is that most of the people who come in the shop are pompous and arrogant businessmen and women. It very aggravating to deal with a customer that lets you know they could do your job better than you do. You have to stick with it and hope you won’t slap someone, but you get by most days with the help of conversations betwixt you and your soulmate.

After working for about six hours for your morning shift, you return to the counter to attempt to gain some extra spending money. The familiar ding of the bell on the door sounds and you turn to the door to recite your required greeting.

“Welcome to Jeonghan’s Cafe!” The cheer in your voice is obviously forced, as well as your smile. The man that just walked in returns your false smile with a genuine one that seems to be overflowing with joy. His dyed blonde hair sticks out and grabs your attention, as does his smile. His chubby cheeks accentuate his smile in the most precious way and you can’t help but be shocked at how smokin’ hot he is. You shake your head to remove those thoughts and turn to the register where the man is currently waiting to have his order taken.

You scamper over to the register as quickly as humanly possible and turn to face the gentleman. “Hi! How can I help you today?” You notice some of the fake cheer in your voice has disappeared, and the same has occurred with your smile. They aren’t completely fake, which is a first for this job. You wouldn’t hit on him or anything though; he has a soulmate of his own and you respect that.

“Ah, yes. Can I get an Americano please?” His voice was comforting as opposed to the brash and hateful voices you have grown accustomed to hearing day after day.

“Yes sir. Will there be anything else?” The man shakes his head with the same smile adorning his face. “Okay. Your total is 2900 Won. May I get a name to go with that order?”

“Soonyoung.” The name fits him. And, he didn’t notice that this shop didn’t require you to get his name for his order. You walk over to make his drink after he pays you and he takes a seat in a nearby booth. You pour the drink into the cafe’s signature cup and walk it over to him.

“Thank you so much,” Soonyoung states with thanks evident in his small, expressive eyes. He grabs the cup and holds it with both hands, which conveys a child-like innocence. After mumbling out a quick thanks, you rush back to the counter to try to hide the subtle blush creeping up your to cheeks.

You look around the shop and see that Soonyoung is your only customer and it is in the middle of the afternoon lull, so you pick up a pen that happened to be lying nearby. You then begin to doodle on your hand.

You begin at the tip of your middle finger and create small precise lines flowing down to the middle of your hand. You begin to branch off of the little lines to create more lines with several scattered leaves along each line. You drew the most magnificent and unique tree on your hand that you could imagine. After about five minutes, you hold your hand infront of yourself and marvel at your work. You usually dislike your handiwork, but this time was different. You felt proud.

You then remember that you still have a customer and turn your attention to him. His coffee is half gone, and he is currently looking down at the table like he is in deep thought. Well, that is what it looks like from your view in which his back is facing you. In reality, Soonyoung is still entranced by the way the ink flowed onto his skin and by his soulmate’s artistic ability. He looked at what he assumed to be the finished project and was stunned at how talented his soulmate truly was.

The familiar chime of the door’s bell rang again and a group of three men walked in. They all seemed to radiate a certain confidence, and they walked with a certain graceful air about them. You assume that they are dancers due to those observable facts. You have been learning a lot about dance ever since you discovered your soulmate enjoys it, so your assumption may be correct.

After reciting your usual greeting, they all give you a small smile before looking in the direction of Soonyoung. They begin to walk over to him and they greet him with big smiles, which Soonyoung returns wholeheartedly.

They sit down and Soonyoung immediately displays his hand to the three people. “Guys! Look at how talented my soulmate is!” He nearly shouts his comment in the poor boys’ ears and they examine his hand while marveling at the work of art sketched onto their dear friend.

“You have a very talented soulmate, Soonyoung. I just wish you wouldn’t scream every time she draws something,” one of his friends with sharp, piercing features states while still examining Soonyoung’s hand.

You regret to admit that you had been listening to their conversation, but you were now interested and ecstatic. From what has been said, it sounds like Soonyoung could possibly be your soulmate. The thought of your assumption being wrong slips into your mind, and you refrain from going over there to confirm your theory.

“Hyung, can you buy me a brownie?” The shortest of the group asks with a cute, unintentional pout on his lips.

Soonyoung sighs in an overly dramatic manner, “Just this once, Chan.” With that he stands up and proceeds to walk over to you. You rise up from your position slouched over on the counter and prepare to take his order.

“May I please have one brownie?” His eyes dart to the display containing numerous delicacies and sweets.

“Sure! One second, Soonyoung.” You retrieve the brownie and place it neatly on the shop’s special napkin. You grab the four corners of the napkin to hand it to him, as it is a strange habit you have developed . Soonyoung reaches his hand out to get his friend’s treat, when he suddenly froze and his eyes seemed to double in size.

He looked at you and then his eyes traveled down to your name tag. “Y/N. I knew my soulmate would have a beautiful  name.” His cheeks redden from the cheesy line he just used as your jaw drops. He then shows you his hand with the exact same drawing of a tree sketched onto the skin.

You snap out of your shock-induced trance and look into his eyes. They are full of compassion and, dare you say, love. “It is nice to meet you, soulmate.” A bright smile takes over your features as you say this.

Soonyoung’s smile somehow grows bigger and he lets out an adorable little giggle. “It is nice to finally meet you too, soulmate.”

[1-800-jikooks]

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood || I

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Warning: smut, swearing, drugs and alcohol abuse

Word Count: 5.3k

Prologue - Chapters - Next

The smell of food drew Yoongi out of his bed and into his dining room. He quickly took a seat as his roommate finished making his breakfast. The night before slowly started to sink in, him being thrown out of the wedding, meeting her, talking about things he’s never said out loud before. If he was being honest with himself he never felt this good with some one before, and it scared him.

“Morning,” said Jungkook. Yoongi ignored him and took out his phone checking for new notifications. “So, I’ve been thinking about a way to fix my problems,” Jungkook said bringing Yoongi a plate of food. “You’ve finally found a solution to move out my house?” Yoongi asked taking  a bite from his plate. “No, I mean my real problems, like the nightmares and how I wanna do heroin all the time,” Jungkook said like it was a normal thing. Yoongi looked at him weirdly. Jungkook was usually the quiet type but when he spoke it amazed Yoongi how blunt he was sometimes. They have been friends for a while, even though he would never admit, Jungkook was one of the only people he cared about, in his own way. “So, anyways, I think I should-” “Hey, why did you let me sleep so late?” Y/N interrupted Jungkook, yawning. Her platinum blonde hair was messy and she only wore Yoongi’s shirt from the night before. She started to notice details of the house that she hadn’t the night before. The house was bigger than she remembered. It was a big open space, you could see the living room, the dining table and the kitchen from the top of the  of the wooden staircase that led to Yoongi’s room down in the basement. She approached the table and reached for Yoongi’s plate taking it from him, “God, I’m so hungry.” Jungkook and Yoongi stared at her weirdly, nobody ever spent the night. “What?” she asked. They both shook their head and continued what they were doing. “I’m Y/N by the way and this food is awesome.” “Thanks,” the raven haired boy said quietly. “How did you guys meet?” She asked taking another bite. “We met in college,” Jungkook said “No, we didn’t.” Yoongi responded to him. “He was in college and I sold stuff to the students,” he looked at his plate and moved to the table. “He gave me CD’s and music sheet books because he saw potential in me.” “I gave you CD’s I stole from a music store because I couldn’t afford the weed you sold.” Jungkook shrugged at his comment and happily continued eating. “Yeah, well, heard his music?” Jungkook asked. Yoongi shot him a glare, he knew how much he hated when people pointed out his music career, yet Jungkook still did it all the time. “No, not really,” she paused for a moment, “Wait, now I know where I’ve seen you before! Didn’t you sing in that really catchy song last year with um, what’s his name? Kim Seokjin? He is a really good singer-song writer.” “I rapped and wrote it.” Yoongi mumbled. “How come I haven’t heard anything new from you?” She asked him. “I’m working on stuff, it takes time to write good music.” he grumbled. The truth was, he wasn’t writing at all. In fact he was completely tired of everyone he talks to asks when was he going to release a complete album, he would always have the same answer. In reality, he had absolutely nothing. He couldn’t write anything. He stayed up every night he wasn’t in a bar locked up in his room trying to produce something but nothing came to his mind. “Cool,” she said. “So, who’s giving me a ride to work?” “I don’t have a car, I’m too poor,” Jungkook said picking up the plates. “Min, you’re up.” “My car is at the reception. We took a cab, remember?” he said rolling his eyes. “Shit, well, I’ll call somebody,” she said looking for her phone then she called the only person who would be willing to pick her up.

“I cannot believe you slept with Min Yoongi!” Jimin scolded her. He couldn’t believe how reckless she was, she knew what an asshole he was and she still did it. “Drive faster, I’m late for work,” Y/N said ignoring her best friend’s scolds “He dated my sister!” Jimin continued, “And you slept with him on her wedding night!” “Apparently,” She laughed. “Why are you crawling up my ass about this Jiminie?” “You know what an asshole he is. I tell you all the time about how he swallowed her up, she disappeared her life into his and was never the same.” “Yeah, but that’s because Jeongae didn’t have a personality to begin with.” “Well, that’s true,” Jimin agreed smiling. “Ugh, Yoongi is the worst. You’re not gonna see him again, are you?” “No way,” Y/N answered. She was never the type of person who had a relationship with someone, not a serious one at least. The liberty to fuck whoever she wanted, party whenever she wanted, drink before 10 am and just enjoy life all together was more of her thing. Relationships only limited the possibility of fun, she told herself. But she couldn’t help but notice a weird feeling forming in her chest at the thought of Yoongi. “We did have fun though.” What if Yoongi thought they had too much fun last night? What if he… if he,asked her out? Y/N shivered in disgust at the thought, and put her feet on top of the dashboard, “Oh god, I hope he doesn’t think last night was a thing.” “Yeah, I hope.” Jimin said, “Hey! Take your feet off the dashboard!” “Stop the car,” She said annoyed “What?” “I said, stop the car.” she demanded, Jimin stopped the car and looked at her with disbelief. “You’re gonna judge me for having sex with a guy at a wedding, how many guys did you blow at our 5 year reunion?” Jimin looked down at his feet, “Four.” “Four?!” She said surprised, “You told me three.” “I might have left out Kim Min Ho,” he said smiling. “Ew, so gross,” Y/n laughed. “We used to have so much fun.” “Yeah, we did. Why did you have to get married?” You pouted. Jimin’s smiled faded away. You quickly realized what she said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to bring it up to hurt me.” Jimin had been married for a year to Lee Ma Ri now, and she was a nightmare. Not to mention Jimin was gay. The marriage had been arranged since Jimin started college, his parents decided that if he was going to inherit their company they couldn’t have a soiled reputation because of Jimin’s “bad habits”. Jimin shrugged it off proceeded to drive. He hasn’t been the same since that wedding, he was usually a giggly happy-go-lucky type of guy but now he snaps from time to time and gets annoyed easily. He was truly unhappy. She couldn’t do anything but feel bad for her best friend.

“Great, just great!” Yoongi said when he opened yet another letter from the entertainment company. The company that worked with him for his first single with Kim Seok Jin kept nagging at him to write an album. They knew he was good and that he would make them a lot of money so they kept bothering him instead of dropping him like they would with anybody else. He took the cigarette that rested behind his ear and put it between his lips. “Hey, I’m Oon Jong Joon,” Yoongi turned around to see a little boy standing in his driveway. The kid’s head reached Yoongi’s shoulder. He was a bit chubby, had dark black hair and his face was squished down like he had hit a brick wall. A bit like pug. Yoongi thought. “What?” he said with a grimace. “I just moved in,” he pointed at the house in front of his. “Right over there.” “Of course you did,” Yoongi grumbled annoyed and lighted his cigarette. “Why do you say that?” “Because the death of any interesting neighbourhood is caused by the influx of procreators,” He replied rolling his eyes. “Oh, that’s cool. My nutritionist is gay, too.” “I’m not gay, I’m a musician.” “What’s that?” Yoongi let out a sigh bothered by the presence of the child and his insistence to talk to him. “A letter of instigation from an entertainment company. You know- ” “You wanna hang out sometime?” The kid interrupted. “What?” Yoongi grimaced. “What are you even talking about? I’m an adult. Do you know what that means?” The kid stared at him blank look on his face. Not that bright, Yoongi noted. “It means that I am attacked at all times by a tsunami of complex thoughts and struggles, deeply aware of my own mortality and able to contemplate the futility of everything and yet still rage against the dying light. So, do you see how monumentally stupid, you a child, asking me, an adult, if I want to hang out?” “My dad designs videogames, we get all the new ones early.” The kid shrugged. “Come over around 8,” Taehyung stated turning around and entering his house.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Y/N screamed while hitting her office’s door. Famous actress Moon Sye Ho laid face down on the couch. Y/N has received a call in Jimin’s car about how if the main actress didn’t show up the show would be cancelled. She couldn’t have this show cancelled. “I said I’m not coming out!” Sye Ho shouted throwing something at the door, making Y/N jump back. “We have to finish filming this episode today, we’re already three days behind!” “I’m not doing shit until that bastard apologises!” She threw another thing around the room. Fuck, she’s gonna break everything! “Who? Bong Sang Mo?” Y/N asked with a compassionate tone rolling her eyes, every goddamn day the main stars of the TV drama she wrote fought and she was the only one that could reason with them from the whole staff. They were more dramatic than they characters she created. Fellow co-workers stood around and looked above their desktops to see the drama unfold some of them were even taping. Y/N hace them a weak sarcastic smile and they turned away.  “Do you want to let me in and talk about it?” “No.” she pouted. “Come on, Sye Ho. Let’s try to fix this, you don’t want to disappoint your fans by not finishing filming now, do you?”  She gritted through her teeth. The door was unlocked and slowly opened. Sye Ho slowly, crept out of the room, and closed the door behind her. “What did he do now?” She asked. Moon Sye Ho and Bong Sang Mo were the most famous celebrity couple in Korea, people found them profoundly entertaining because of their on and off dynamic and rumors of cheating. Their life was drama. Sye Ho went on and on about how Bong Sang Mo was dancing with some other girl at a club and something about burning his 2017 autumn collection in his backyard She quickly spaced out of the conversation due to the fact that it was unbearably boring. This is exactly why she didn’t like the whole relationship thing. It brought too many problems and conflicts. It’s easier to stay away from them. She did a simple no strings attached one night stand the night before, there were no complications or issues afterwards. Why can’t more people do that? Yoongi, at least understood. She still couldn’t believe that she told him all those things. Some of them she swore she would take to her grave. What surprised her the most was the way he reacted to them, he laughed and went along with it. If it was someone else they would have probably thrown her out of the house. He probably didn’t because he’s just as terrible as her. She felt arms wrap around her, taking her back to reality. Sye ho was clearing her face of tears and backed away from the hug. “So you’ll do it for me?” “Sure, sure. Whatever you need, sweetie.” Y/N said pretending she paid attention smiling. Sye Ho jumped with joy and clapped her hands. “You’re the best!” She explained, walking towards the elevator. People made space for her to pass, a lot of them were afraid. “I’ll go back to work now! Don’t forget, I’ll be expecting it tomorrow or I’ll have your ass fired!” Y/N watched her get back into the studio skipping and shook her head. She spotted an employee that was probably standing there all along and approached him. “Um, what exactly do I have to get so I don’t end up jobless?” She whispered. “Apparently some cocaine,” he shrugged. Fuck. Where the hell would I find cocaine? She thought. She knew of someone but she would do anything to avoid him right now. “Do you know where to find some?” She asked him, looking around, people weren’t paying attention anymore. “Not my problem,” he said plainly. She shot him glare. “You’re rude,” she shot. “Yeah, well I don’t care,” he said turning around. She grabbed his shoulder. “Hey! Don’t turn your back on me!” He let out a sigh and turned to face her. “What’s your name?” “Kim Taehyung,” he shrugged and pushed past her. She followed him with her eyes shooting daggers at him. What’s his problem?

She decides to relax in her office for a while, maybe steal some food from her co-workers and then buy a bottle of beer at the American themed diner across the street. Today had been stressful enough.

She entered her now half destroyed office and sat on the tear stained couch. She looked around the disaster and almost screamed with excitement when she saw the half of the donut she started eating the day before. She quickly ran to it and shoved it in her mouth. Finally something good today!

After some light work she decided she was bored. She looked for her purse to head out but it was nowhere to be found. She was pretty sure Sye Ho wouldn’t touch a fake Louis Vuitton purse even if her life was at risk so that ruled her out. She realized that  she didn’t have it when she was in Jimin’s car… Oh no… no no no no… fuck. She left a his house. Shit, he’s gonna think I want more if I go back! She groaned and sat down again in the blue sofa. Calm down. She told herself and took out her phone ordering an Uber. He might understand, if not you can do your usual speech. Yeah, the speech.

“I got your car towed back here!” Jungkook said entering the front door. Yoongi sat on the red  couch on his living room tea in one hand and the company's letter in the other. “Look who I found getting out of an Uber.”

“Hey,” Y/N said awkwardly stepping inside the house. She waved at him quickly and smiled. Yoongi tore his eyes off the letter just for a second ant took a quick glance at her. He turned back on her and ignored her presence. Y/N smacked her lips and let out an awkward laugh.

“Don’t worry. I forgot my purse. Not on purpose or anything ” She waved her arms around. She paused for a moment to see if he would react to her words. It was like she wasn’t even there. Jungkook scratched the back of his head and slowly backed away.

“Imma leave you two alone,” and he disappeared into the house.

“Um, he’s sweet.” She said approaching him a bit. God, this was way too awkward. She just wanted to get this over with and leave.

“You know your purse had food in it,” he stated, finally acknowledging her presence. He glared at her giving her a judgemental look. “It was covered in ants. Who keeps food in their purse?”

“Woah, what’s your problem?” She folded her arms. He took a deep breath.

“Well, I’ve had a shitty day and then I come home to find that my goddamn bedroom is like a 50’s sci-fi movie,” he scolded her, “Why did you stay over, huh? That’s amateur hour.”

Y/N couldn’t believe him, here she was standing in the middle of her one night stand’s living room being scolded like a child and then lecture on how she should handle her ditching phase one she slept with someone?

“Here, I was worried that you were going to get the wrong idea about last night,” she dropped her arm hitting her legs. “So, thank you for saving me the speech.”

“You were gonna make a speech?” He mocked. She scoffed and turned around to leave the house.

“Forget it.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Save your breath!” She halted at his response and scoffed. What the fuck was wrong with this guy? She stumped back to the living room.

“I don’t know what planet you are from but on my planet, someone like you does not get someone like me,” she moved her arms around her body to accentuate the point. “So, congratulations you bagged a weakened gazelle. That’s right, I’m still stupidly hooked up on someone else who is eons away from you in the evolutionary scale in all categories except maybe an unearned ego!”

Yoongi looked at her more amused than angry at her reaction. Never in his life had he heard someone talk to him like that. Well, he has heard a few insults… more than a few, but there was something about the way she was spitting those word with acid that amazed him.

“What? You so value honesty, you had to chew a bride out on her wedding day in the name of it? Well, why don’t you face this giant hunk of truth, Min Yoongi?!” His smiled dropped instantly. “There is a big fat asterisk next to my name on your skank-ridden little bone list saying ‘She probably would’ve gone home with anybody that night’! So, thank you! Thank you for my wake up call, Yoongi! You are officially my bottom.”

Yoongi watched her pick up her purse and before he could say anything back she left. He stood there dumbfounded. What the fuck just happened?

She currently stood in front of the house of the other. She was a aware how stupid and embarrassing it was but she needed cocaine. She climbed the wooden to the black steel door. It was already the middle of the night, they front of the house was dimly lit but enough to see the extensive garden that surrounded her. The house was massive, modern and minimalistic. Exactly the opposite of her small apartment. She rang the doorbell and in a few seconds she could hear his steps coming down the stairs.  The door turned instead of opening like a normal door revealing Gong Yeong Woon, dressed in his sleepwear. He was a renounced movie and television director in Korea. He had so much money and he was kinda sexy. She thought of him as some sort of sugar daddy, it was occasional and from time to time he would take her to fancy events. She loved that fancy shit, the food, the drinks, the parties. “Hey you.” she said giving him a sultry smile. “Kiddo,” he exclaimed, “What a surprise.” “I was just in the neighbourhood, I figured why not drop by.” “I have an early call time but… yeah, come in. Last time you said you were coming over you never showed, I thought you’d grown sick of me.” “Nah, you’re alright.” She said smirking. She had been here countless of times before, but somehow she felt a bit awkward tonight. Like if something was wrong. She shook her head erasing the thought. “You’re so beautiful,” he said placing his hands on her jaw  and pulling her in for a sloppy kiss. At first Y/N Kissed back, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit out of place. She opened her eyes and grimaced a bit at his touch. She slowly backed away from the kissed and gave her a kiss in her temple. She gave him polite smile and walked inside. She couldn’t get that annoying fuck out of her head. How could she even go home with him? Well, she was drunk and he was kinda hot. It was so irritating. “Oh- fantastic!” She heard Yeong Woon moan. She found herself bobbing her head down on his cock underneath the white sheets of his king sized bed. She tried to enjoy what she was doing but all she could think of is stupid Min Yoongi with his stupid attitude.

Yoongi took a gulp of his whiskey and return to the video game he had been playing for at least two hours now. The sounds of guns and explosions tore through the house while hip hop music played in the background. Besides him, the kid from earlier sat on the floor so he wouldn’t damage the clean couch, playing as well.

“Hi,” Jungkook said giving the kid a strange look, but quickly turning to his friend. “You busy, Yoon?”

“Yup,” Yoongi answered, eyes glued to the screen.

“Well, would you like pause it for a second?” Jungkook asked a bit annoyed by Yoongi’s attitude.

“Nope.” He simply replied. Jungkook walked to him and took away his remote. Yoongi turned his attention to him.

“What’s wrong with you dude? Give me the controller,” he demanded extending his arm. Yoongi had a shitty day and didn’t want to deal with Jungkook’s shit right now, so he launched himself at Jungkook in an attempt to get back his controller.

“I’ve watched you for two years,” he started pushing Yoongi back onto the couch. “Two year now, getting girls to come home with you and they’re always gone in the morning.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it if she refused to leave!” Yoongi shot at him. “Now, give me my controller.”

“No.”

“Fine,” Yoongi said taking the other controller from the chubby kid. Jungkook let out a scoff and rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry I have to do this,” he said before putting Yoongi under a chokehold. “Now, I don’t mind you being jerky with me because I know you care-”

“What the- No I don’t!” Yoongi exclaimed gasping for air. He felt the blood rushing and the air escaping him. Of all the mistakes he had made in his life the one he regretted the most right now was letting thing crazy junkie live in his house.

“Yes, you do.”

“Your an animal, there’s a fucking wild animal living in my fucking house!” Yoongi started to trash around trying to get out. When the hell did Jeon fucking Jungkook get so strong?!

“But Y/N stayed, Yoon, she stayed.” Jungkook continued. “You say she forced you, but we both know there’s not a single person on this planet that’s ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything. She stayed, man! And that means something, whether you like it or not. Imma let you go now.”

He’s right. Those words tore inside Yoongi’s brain. He stumbled back. No, it doesn’t mean anything. She doesn’t mean anything. He’s wrong. “Why the fuck would I listen to you? You’re a mental case. You’re like a million medications that all say ‘Take for bat shit craziness’!”

“My family was killed in front of me,” Jungkook muttered, The elder’s words stabbing him like knives.

“So?! People die every goddamn day. And you were like fucking eight!” Yoongi kept spitting.

“Mental illness is not a joke Yoongi, a lot of people suffer from them and just because I suffer from one doesn’t mean you get to tear me down for it.” Jungkook answered calmed down.

“That is the most intelligent thing you have ever said to me.” Yoongi pointed out.

“Thanks,” Jungkook smiled

“You’re still a lunatic,” he said walking away.

“Hey, wait. Come one man!” Yoongi ignored him, he needed to get out. He need space to think.

“Where are you going?” Jungkook called out.

“To a bar,” Yoongi turned around, “where I can drink in peace. “Come one, Oon Jong Joon!”

“I’m 14,” the kid pointed out. Yoongi let out a groan and walked out slamming the door. Jungkook quickly took the controller he had dropped on the floor and started to play happily, he had done his job as a friend. Yoongi was an asshole but he listened even if he pretended not to.

“Call the police,” Yoongi said walking back to the house. “Someone stole my car.”

“Nah, Y/N took it,” Jungkook said moving forward to concentrate better on the game

“Sorry, Y/N took my car?” he said with disbelief.

“Yeah, I saw her driving it away earlier. I figured you loaned it to her.” He paused for a second. “Now that I think about it, it was kind of weird.”

“She doesn’t have a license!”

“Huh,” Jungkook chuckled. “She must have stolen your keys from the counter. You have to admit, it’s kind of a baller move.”

Yoongi let out a sigh, and dropped himself on the couch besides Jungkook. What a fucking day.

“You guys are fun,” the chubby kid, that was still there for Yoongi’s surprisement, said nodding to himself.

Yeong Woon let out a deep grunt as he slipped inside her repeatedly.  Y/N pressed her lips together awkwardly, this was not working out. “Um, hey.”

He lowered himself down so his face would be centimetres away from hers “Yes, Y/N?”

“Can we take a little break?”

“Sure,” he nuzzled their noses together and got off of her. They both stared at the ceiling for a while. Y/N cleared her throat breaking the silence.

“So, what’s the worst thing you have done?” She asked turning to him. He gave her a disappointed look.

“You know I don’t dwell on negativity, since India.” He simply responded.

“Ok, then…” she said before the room fell silent again. She decided to look around  the room but quickly got bored. “I once started a fire at school to get out of a math test.”

“That’s terrible.” He said giving her a weird disapproving glare. “Why would you tell me that?”

“Nevermind, just kidding.” She tried to save the dying conversation but found it to be unsuccessful. “Do you still have cocaine?”

“It’s in the bathroom, third drawer to the right,“  He answered waving her away. She quickly ran out of the bedroom and found herself in the bathroom closing the door behind her. She slides to the marble tiled floor, covering her face with her hands. She groaned and turned to the drawer beside her. Right in the middle of it stood a small yet beautifully carved wooden box. She took it out of the drawer and put it on her lap so she could study her surroundings. It was his take on the millionaire’s modern house decor. The entrance  of the bathroom had a white toilet with a mirror and a countertop made out of dark wood to contrast the white marble, the size of a regular guest bathroom. The main room however, was the size of her apartment. A white Bathtub stood in the middle of the room and had  the size of a hot tub. Most of the room was exposed to the neighbourhood  due to the walls being made out of glass with a door leading to a one of the balconies. She slowly stepped into the bathtub putting the little box on the border. She opened it and revealed a at least 8 ounces of cocaine. She quickly slipped some in a plastic bag and put it in a pocket of her hoodie. She stared at the box for a few seconds before taking the small blade inside, pouring a small amount on the border of the bathtub preparing it into a perfect line. Pressing down the left side of her nose she inhaled the line and felt a slight burn in her nostril. She jumped and the sudden sound of her ringtone going off. “Um, hello?” She answered wiping her nose

“Hey,” Yoongi said taking Y/N by surprise. “What are you up to?”

“Uh, nothing,” she replied shifting nervously on the tub. Why is he calling? “Just.. um.. reading.”

“Well, my car got stolen today,”

Fuck. “Wow, that’s terrible Yoongi.” she said biting her lip.

“Yeah, I’m gonna have to report it to the police. You know, to make sure that they catch the person…”

“Um, I may have borrowed it earlier today,” she laughed nervously.

“I know,” he replied

“Oh. well, sorry. I told you, I’m the worst.”

“No, actually you said that I was the worst and that I was lucky to get you.”

“Yeah, about that-”

“No, don’t apologize,” he stated, “It was a great speech. It was funny and true and mean. My favourite kind.”

“I set my school on fire to get out a math test,” she blurted out, the laughter that filled the other end of the line made her smile.

“That’s genius. Oh, and… I… lied to you,” he started.

“Yeah?”

“I do have a foot thing,”

“Seriously?” she asked trying not to laugh.

“Yeah. In fact, I was just trying to find the right clip online.. so you know.. s-so that I could, um fall asleep. But… nothing’s quite right.”

She let out a quiet laugh, “Oh, do you want me to try?”

“What?” He asked sounding surprised.

“Shh,” she said getting out of the bathtub and walking to the balcony, “Let me think.”

Yoongi got out of his bed and started walking up the stairs. “Come one, this is stupid,”

“Shut up,” She ordered him, making smile grow on his face. “I have been walking around all day in these new shoes, and they are just so… hot and tight.”

He reached upstairs and slowly walked to the quiet and messy living room. Yoongi stopped in front of the wide window that stretched to the other side of the room. The dark sky was illuminated by small stars, he could observe the city from here. All the glimmering lights of the buildings shining through the night.

“Yeah,” He responded, she let out another quiet laugh separating the phone from her face.

“And my socks are so… sweaty.” She made a grimace. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Was that even right?

“That happens.”

“I think I might just have to take them off,” she turned around to face the pool. She could see the whole city from there as well.

“You do that.” he said enthusiastically. “Hey, you’re, uh… very nice for doing this.”

“I am very nice,” she replied. They stayed quiet for a minute, taking it all in. There was no way of evading it now. “Yoongi, I’m scared of this shit, you know? I don’t like it.”

“Well, um, I don’t believe in it anymore, so…”

“What’s the harm, right?” She said, in that moment she thought she had fucked up. “I mean, if we both know that it can’t work, then there’s no problem… right?”

The line went silent for a minute. A short yet eternal minute. Why did I speak? Of course he wouldn’t go for it. Fuck, why would I even suggest it, I hate dating in the first place. She balanced herself on her toes and swung her arms around while mentally scolding herself.

“Right,” he finally muttered.

And in that moment they both smiled. This can only end one way. They it would go down engulfed in flames destroying everything around them, but right now they didn’t mind.

“So what kind of socks?” Yoongi asked abruptly. She let out a laugh.

“Mmm… knee-high basketball socks. Orange and green stripes,”

“You’re amazing, you’re 19 types of trouble but… amazing.”

“Yeah, so are you. 19 types,” she cleared her throat, “Well, it’s late. Did you finish?”

“I think the moment’s gone.”

“Ok, well, have a goodnight,” she said, “Call me.”

“I will.”

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