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#when I'm sad or angry i can't get rid of anything but when I'm happy i can see how it will help someone else
jedi-bird · 1 year
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My chiropractor is probably going to yell at me this week for over doing it yet again but I've made progress. I have a list forming of the furniture we need to get versus what can be repurposed. I have more stuff ready to either be donated or passed on to friends. Ideas for the office are being written down so my partner can think about them without feeling pressured. I'm not sure how long this energy is going to last so I have to do as much as possible as quickly as possible.
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saerotonins · 5 months
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biggest scandals they have faced
ft. actor!nanami kento, fushiguro toji x wife!reader (separated) 
content warnings: fluff, light angst, jjk actor au, celebrity issues, cheating allegations, divorce allegations, none of them are true, misogyny, mentions of infertility, just cruel stuff based on the issues i see online, slightly suggestive (making out), toji and wife call each other "ma" and "pa", mentions/hinting of sex, internet trolls, horrible people online, pls don't read if these issues are triggering to you, shitty article names lol
wc: 2052
note: this got too long, will do other parts for the other actors instead <33 happy holidays, everyone!
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NANAMI KENTO:
Jujutsu Kaisen Star Nanami Kento Facing Trouble in Paradise: Leads to Divorce
to say he was irritated when he saw the headlines from the tabloids was an understatement, he is beyond livid. but the comments just made everything worse.
user_1: wow aren't they married for years already? maybe his wife can't conceive any babies? LOL
user_2: must be, or maybe nanami's just realized his wife is just using him for his actor money 
user_3: the wife doesn't know to make a sandwich i fear 
user_4: maybe he got tired of his wife's ugly face, no wonder he hides it from the internet hahaha
kento doesn't give a fuck if people were dragging his name left and right but god forbid it involves you, his loving wife who has been nothing but utterly supportive of his career. for someone who stuck by his side for years, it angers him that people immediately assume that you were the problem. he knows the news isn't true, he literally just cuddled with you last night, so to say that you were getting a divorce almost makes him laugh if it weren't how stupid this situation is. 
when his manager informed him about the situation, he immediately cancelled every schedule that he has for today, he will call the lawyers to settle this later but for now, his main focus is you. 
you are someone who is used to the privacy of your own space which is why you opted to keep your face off his socials and remain anonymous to the eyes of his fans. kento hates it that your peace is getting disturbed due to his stardom, so he is willing to drop everything just to go home to you and comfort you. no one knows who you really are but the way it made people talk like they do, makes him angry. no way his wife is going to be disrespected like this.
the moment kento opens the door the your shared home, he's panting, sweat evident in his forehead and worry present in his eyes as he looks at you across the living room, sitting on the couch with your phone in your hands. 
"shit," he thought, he knows you already saw the news, and worse the comments. he can tell just by your body language. your eyes sunken in sadness and your lips form a frown. he doesn't see it but he knows your heart is breaking too.
"honey," kento breathes out as he walks towards you. he knows you heard him, but you stay in your position, disbelief flooding your senses. suddenly, you came back to reality when you feel kento's warm embrace, his large and quick hands getting rid of your phone before placing it on your head and immediately feeling his chest against your head.
his breathing his ragged, unstable deep breaths as he tells you, "it's gonna be okay," and a thousand apologies to go with it. you nod instead, finding yourself difficult to talk. you opt to rub onto his arm, a silent reply to his comforting and kento seems to understand your gesture. he then kisses the crown of your head as he pulls you tighter in his embrace.
"am i holding you back, kento?" you asked, your voice quite muffled as you speak through his button down blouse.
"oh god, darling you will never hold me back, if anything, you keep me moving. don't listen to them, alright? i'm happy and contented to where we are right now, don't worry about it." he lets go of the embrace and cups your face with both of his hands. he looks at you with loving eyes as he brushes your lower lip with his thumb. you close your eyes as he leaned closer, then you finally felt his lips against yours. he gives a peck, another, and then a third one before he crashes his lips onto you for the last time as he takes his time to explore your mouth.
kento knows a lot of ways to apologize, and this is one of them. he is gentle, but his love is loud as he allows his tongue clash against yours, the wet squelch filling up the room as he allows himself to be drunk with your lips.
when kento lets go, his breathing is heavy but satisfied. "i'll take care of everything from then on, okay?" he says as he caresses your face and a smile creeps to his face when you lean towards his touch with a nod. "will you be releasing a statement?" you ask.
"yeah, i'll contact our lawyer about it and then we'll see what we can do." his answer earned a curt nod from you. kento noticed pursed your lips, obviously thinking about something.
"are you still bothered by the comments?"
"no, i mean, i'm a bit upset about how people were talking about me online but i'm just curious as to where all this came from." 
"hmm, yeah, we'll take care of that too, for now, just rest your pretty mind and always remember that i will never leave you. that okay?" his gentle voice makes your heart feel full, and that's you know that your husband will always be at your beck and call. "yeah." you answered as you give his lips a quick peck, "i love you," you added.
"i love you too."
not a even a day later, the JJK LABEL had released a statement and an article regarding the fake news that had surfaced.
Nanami Kento Slams Fake Divorce Article: "Don't project your problems in your love life through me and my wife."
"the article itself and the comments are horrible and people are stupid enough to believe something that came from a tabloid known to release fake news. maybe this just tells about how gullible and stupid people are for believing groundless rumors and not my relationship." the artist stated.
"to everyone involved in the release of this article, we will see you on court and i hope you have any evidence about your claim. to the people who threw disgusting comments about my wife, please worry how alone you are instead of snooping around our relationship." he adds.
that day, kento's fanbase rejoice as the tabloids finally got their karma when it was reported that their company was finally shut down.
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FUSHIGURO TOJI:
it was a normal day in the fushiguro household until megumi bursts in through the door with a loud and resounding—
"dad, what the fuck?" 
"megumi, language, please!" you warned him.
your word goes through megumi's ears and went to his dad who is currently lounging in the living room reading his script. he paid his son's words no mind and gave him a raised eyebrow, urging him to continue.
"your name is all over tabloids because of a forum post. look," megumi says as he faces his phone screen to toji's face. to say that he's horrified to what he just saw is an understatement. so, with a worry mind, you go behind toji's lounging chair and read what's on the screen.
Acting Veteran 'T' Caught in An Affair! 
At the night of Tuesday, Actor 'T' is caught leaving a hotel with a seemingly younger woman clinging on his arms. The two are being lovey-dovey in their Shibuya rendezvous. Actor 'T' is currently married with a child which makes everything even more scandalous. What would actor 'T'’s wife and child think about this? Seems like the man really took a liking towards sneaking away with younger women.
Actor 'T'’s identity will be released by [MM/DD/YY] so stay tuned! For now, let us know your thoughts below.
user_1: actor veteran and the code is T? must be toji then?
user_2: this is definitely toji lmfao he looks like someone who would fool a younger woman
user_3: his wife must be so rusty now so he's running to the younglings LOL
user_4: respect for having the balls to cheat on his wife after this long, ik his ass is itching
user_5: @user_4 LMFAO should've done it sooner! bet he doesn't want to pay child support so he's staying 😂
user_6: NOOOO the GOAT got caught damn we were rooting for u 👑
"what the fuck?" both you and toji's voice were erupting in the whole room. out of shock? anger? rage? megumi is not sure but there is one thing he's sure of, both of you are being scary right now and the red in both of you and husband's eyes are almost showing due to the high range of emotions you were both feeling right now.
despite knowing that toji is utterly in love with you and he was actually with you that day, it scares him that his father is facing this kind of scandal. people are horrible out there trying to ruin his father's career that he worked hard on and this is the proof.
toji might be used to having false rumors spread about him all over the years he is in the acting industry, but what he can't take is people talking shit about his wife and thinking less about her. the comments that he just read just woke up the rage inside of him.
"mom?" megumi had called you since it's been minutes when you had gone quiet. the sight before him broke his heart. 
your eyes are trying not to let your tears fall, but the comments are too hurtful to ignore, too cruel to set aside. even though you know that it's covered with a codename (barely), you exactly know it's your husband that they are talking about. you're hurt about the comments but you're most scared of your husband's career coming to a screeching halt.
you suddenly feel your husband hug you so tight and you let it all out. his shirt might get damped but toji doesn't care, comforting his wife comes first. he then tells megumi, "call our lawyer, tell him what we just saw, they'll know what to do," megumi frantically nods and gets out of the house to do what toji had said.
"come on, ma, let's go and get some rest." toji had urged you to go with him.
"pa, this is so ridiculous, i know you know how to deal with these but this is just too much, they're targeting our family now." the sadness in your voice and the tears that flow through face break toji's heart. you don't deserve this. these assholes needed to be taught a lesson, and he knows he won't be nice about it. "i'll take care of this, 'kay? i love you and megs so much, angel."
toji's voice somehow calmed your senses and you let yourself cry in his arms until you're left with no tears. "i'm sorry, i'm too old to cry like this." you said as you try to wipe the remnants of your tears from your face.
"no one's too old to cry, darling," toji coos, glad that you're finally able to calm down, and caresses the back of your head. then, a sly smirk forms on his lips, "you know what else we're not too old for?" 
genuinely curious, you look up to him, "what?" you asked. 
toji leaned down and whispered, "another child, think we can give megumi a sibling?" and gave you a mischievous look.
"toji!" you exclaimed as you smack his chest, flustered of his words. 
"gross, get a room, and is now really the time for this?" you suddenly let go of yourself from toji's grasp the moment you heard megumi back in the living room. toji chuckled, "i got it all covered, both of you rest up and i will deal with all of this." toji walked towards where megumi is standing and gives his head a gentle pat, "no one's gonna ruin us, alright?" 
the conviction in toji's voice made it clear to both of you and megumi that he already has a plan in mind, and you trust him enough to believe him. he has never let the both of you down, after all.
the next day, news break out the the person who posted the rumor on the online forum is caught with other criminal charges aside from the defamation he just attempted to do. the horrible comments also seem to magically disappear.
Fushiguro Toji Busts Down Anonymous User, Other Criminal Charges Involved
"I hope this serves as a lesson to everyone else. I'm not backing down until everyone gets what they deserve for ruining the names of the people I care about. I will not let go until every single horrible person who rises their tongue against my family is punished." Toji stated.
"Be careful what you read and comment online, please don't forget that the people you talk about are not just subjects, but real human beings." The veteran actor added.
the fake news spreader should have really known not to deal with a veteran who is powerful enough to protect the people he cherishes.
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edit: i just noticed that i wasn't able to add the ending to toji's part 😭 my apologies, i fixed it now!
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"I Just Felt Like Cryin"
AN: this randomly came to me in one of my dreams and i had to write it out. i love this concept even though it breaks my heart a little bit. i hope you enjoy and your feedback is welcome!!!!!
This story contains: just crying and comfort
{ dadrry - husband!harry - softrry - have three kids but they aren't in really in story }
word count- 1,061
Harry comes home from the studio and just feels like crying for whatever reason.
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As soon as Harry came home from the studio you could tell something was wrong. He wasn't as cheerful as he usually was and he seemed lost in his train of thought. But knowing Harry, he tried to hide his emotions well and act as if nothing was wrong. Especially in front of your three kids. He didn't want his kids to see him have a breakdown. He only wanted them to see their father in a happy state.
The problem tonight was that even Harry didn't know what was wrong with himself. He wasn't necessarily sad and he wasn't mad. So maybe it's a combination of stress and built up emotions but he just felt on the verge of crying all evening. There was this burning behind his eyes that you get when you're trying not to cry and Harry can't seem to get rid of it.
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After going through the routine of giving your kids their baths and tucking them into bed, it was time to go to bed yourselves. This part in your night routines can vary depending on your moods. If you were feeling needy, then it would consist of making love under the duvet. If you wanted to relax more, it could consist of sharing a bath or shower together. If you were tired, it would consist of just cuddling and going to sleep. Tonight you didn't know what to expect but you knew sex was off the table.
You came into your bedroom to brush your teeth and then begun putting your creams and lotions on your skin as you sat on the edge of the bed. Harry told you he'd be back in a moment, that he was going to get himself a glass of water from the kitchen. You were nervous because you didn't want there to be anything seriously going on with him. You hated to see your husband so down.
The whole journey to the kitchen Harry was fighting tears. Then on the way back up to your shared bedroom he was fighting tears. He didn't want to cry tonight. Not that he was embarrassed to cry in front of you. No, you've been married for so long that he's completely okay with being vulnerable around you. He just didn't want to make you sad because he knows when you see him cry you get sad.
But as soon as Harry stepped foot in the bedroom and shut the door behind himself, he took one glance at you, the person he loves most, and his bottom lip started quivering and his shoulders started shaking as a sob left his body. You stood up quickly and walked across the room, first grabbing the glass of water out of his shaky hands. Then asking, "Baby, what's wrong? Hey, it's okay."
Harry just wraps his arms around you and sobs into your shoulder. You haven't seen him cry this hard since the death of his step father and it's really worrying you. "I....." Harry tries to speak, "I donno."
"Are you sad or feeling sick?" you gently question.
"No, I, I just felt like cryin'. M'sorry. I'm a big baby." he mutters as you lead him over to the bed. Now you understand a bit more. Harry has been stressed lately and you have a feeling his emotions just got backed up so much that now they are all flowing out of him. Typically Harry is the type of person that will ignore his emotions until they come spewing out of him. For some it's with anger that includes yelling and being violent. For Harry, he's not an angry or violent person so his emotions are tears.
You help Harry sit on the edge of the bed while continuing to hug him to your chest. His cries are slowing down but are still somewhat there. "Shhh," you whisper while leaning back to lay down under the covers and stroke the back of his scalp, "It's okay. You can cry if you feel like it. I'll be here the entire time and hold you, okay." Just wanting your husband to know its okay to cry it out.
Harry nods his head where it's placed over your heartbeat, his favorite place to be. He loves laying his head over your heartbeat during sex to feel how fast he's got it beating for him. But he also just loves to feel it to comfort him when he's trying to sleep or is upset about something.
After a few more minutes, Harry coos in a hoarse voice, "Thank you. Thank you for always knowing how to comfort me and thank you for loving me." His words nearly bring you to tears.
"Harry, babe, you're so easy to love. You have the biggest heart and everyone can't help but to show you love. I love you so much." you tell him truthfully. You do love Harry with every fiber in your body. You wouldn't have married him if you didn't. You wouldn't have let him get you pregnant three times and had his beautiful babies if you didn't love this heavy man laying across your chest right now.
Harry lifts his head off your chest and leans forward, going in for a kiss, but you stop him. He gets a sad look of rejection on his face but you reach over to your nightstand and grab a tissue. "You have snot running out your nose, babe. Here, let me help you wipe it up." You gently cradle the side of his face and help him wipe his snotty nose. It doesn't gross you out at all because you do have kids that have desensitizes you to this kind of stuff. "There we go. Now you can kiss me."
With the first smile you've seen on his face all night, Harry leans in again and places the most softest kiss on your lips. It only lasted a second but that second means everything to you. After the kiss, Harry whispers, "I love you." He leans back down to snuggle into your covered chest. You grab the edge of the duvet and help drape it over his back to keep the both of you warm. Then once you reach to turn the lamp off and the bedroom is filled with darkness, you began to fall asleep with Harry in your arms.
(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)
(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )
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My Masterlist Masterpost
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barcalover86 · 11 months
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Healthy break up - Pablo Gavi (a)
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"Tell me, please. Whatever it is, I will stay by your side. Always"
When Gavi heard what you said he closed his eyes in order not to cry.
"That's the thing, y/n."
"Look, Pablo. It's ok, I promise you. Everything will be ok"
He breathed in and out before he decided to speak.
"You don't deserve what I'm going to tell you and it's hurting me just thinking that you might hate me after this."
"I won't hate you. I can't hate you." you said while trying to console him.
"I tried so hard to get rid off this feeling, trust me. I hate myself for it and if I could control it, I would. These days have been... hard. Really hard and I know you told me multiple times to speak my thoughts to you. That's what people that love eachother do, but I just can't. I've been feeling so lonely and sad without having a reason. We are most of the time far away from eachother and I feel like our schedules can't combine."
With every word that was leaving Gavi's mouth, your heart would break. You still decided to hear him say everything, before you could speak.
"Please, forgive me for this. Please.." he escaped a sob from his mouth. "I want what's best for you and right now I'm not the perfect boy, understand me.. please, y/n!."
Your hands went on your tearful eyes. Gavi took them and wiped your tears away from your face.
"I am sorry that I feel like this. It's all my fault and I'm truly-".
"Shh, shh." you said while touching slowly his cheeks. "It's no one's fault, ok?"
"No, y/n. I'm so stupid. I can't find happiness with you and it hurts me-"
"Pablo, stop." you smiled sadly. "I understand you."
He started to cry in your arms, while your hands went on his hair, playing with it.
"Forgive me.."
"I do, Pablo. I forgive you."
You tried to find the strength to speak again and when you did, you managed hard not to cry.
"Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me."
"I love you.. I really do." he said it for the last time while looking into your eyes.
And for the last time, you two kissed. A kiss that could be never forgotten..
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"It's ok, sweetheart.." your mom said while you were crying hard in her arms.
"He said he can't be happy with me, mama.."
It's been days since you and Pablo broke up and you weren't doing too good. You understood his feelings, but all the time healthy break ups are tge worst. You know he loves you, but sometimes love is not enough.
Gavi was sad and tired all the time. He didn't speak much about your break up, knowing if he would say something that reminds him of you, he would break down right there.
It was hard to pretend that nothing was happening, but this is going to be the best for both of you.
Even now, after time had passed, you would still go to support him at his games. He never saw you, but somehow, he all the time felt you there..
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Today you didn't feel the need to do anything, but you woke up because someone was knocking at your door.
You were all moody today and when you saw that there was actually no one standing in front of your door, you got angry until you saw some flowers and a letter.
You were confused and when you saw the initials, you started to tear up.
You looked everywhere. You only wanted to see him. Unfortunately, he was nowhere.
There were your favorite flowers.. he still remembers it.
You open the letter, read it, put it in your heart and closed your eyes.
'Today would have been our 2 year anniversary. I don't want you to be sad or cry. I want this day to remind you that things are going to come and some are going to end. It is part of our lives and we must understand these stuff. You were the person that thought me how to love someone more than myself. You made me shine when I was at my lowest. I hope that this is going to be the step you will do to forget about sadness. Remember our memories, but forget me. Hugs, P. G'
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angelpuns · 11 months
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OKAY THEN RANTING ANON WILL GET INTO IT RN >:O
Again spoiler warning GO READ SPARKS OF BLUE!!!!
So Raph is obvi high empathy, but even with that it doesn't make it so you just don't feel negative emotions toward a person because empathy doesn't just apply to happy or sad it also applies to anger and Raph has a whole lot of anger, and so does Donnie! But Raph actually understands why he's angry and doesn't want it to take it out on anyone because he can analyze it and he's really in-tune with his emotions because he always feels them so strongly and he can see that anger in Donnie, and he can see how guilty CJ feels. And yeah he's angry too, just like Donnie and he gets why Donnie is angry. But at the same time he can see a lot better than Donnie can that Cj also feels guilty and is grieving too! I'm very bad at explaining but basically Raph is just as angry as Donnie, and he gets and shares that anger in Donnie, but he also doesn't want to take it out on anyone because he also recognizes the guilt and sadness in Casey, so instead of hurting anyone else he hurts himself the way most autistic people with high empathy do, because they can handle seeing themself hurt, but they can't handle seeing anyone anyone else hurt because of that high empathy.
Now with Donnie it's another story, because he has low empathy but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about his family. No he still didn't want April to cry, he still didn't want her to have to walk, etc etc. But when it comes to someone not as close to him as Casey, he doesn't care! He's more worried about how he feels, how angry he feels and and how his family feels because he isn't close to Casey. He cares how he feels and at the moment he was angry, and he isn't sure what he should be angry at and Casey was a part in what Leo did so he's angry at Casey, and unlike Raph he can't see that Casey is sad too, and that he's angry and grieving too. Because of his Low empathy he doesn't know and doesn't really care! Both him and Raph are feeling the same thing they react differently because Raph has high empathy and can see that Casey is hurting and doesn't want to make it worse, but Donnie doesn't and honestly just wants to feel better himself and can't see that he's hurting someone else in trying to do that! Personally when I'm dealing with big emotions I try to work through it as fast as I can and go back to normal and that's what Donnie's trying to do, and having something to hate and something to in a sense destroy that he things is the source of his big, bad emotions gives him something to get rid of so he can feel better again!
Like I said, I suck at explaining this but tldr, Donnie wants his emotions gone and doesn't care who he hurts trying in to get rid of them (Which is caused by low Empathy) and Raph wants to keep all his emotions to himself so he doesn't hurt anyone else because they're already hurting (which is caused by high empathy)
This might not be the most accurate but its hard to put into words what I'm thinkin <3
YES YES YES YES I AM EATING THIS UP RN GOOD INFORMATION FOR MY BRAIN!!!
This is making so much sense btw, like this explanation has done for me learning about high vs low empathy than anything ( I am not very smart and also have not looked into it a lot lmao)
BUT MANNN THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE FOR RAPH IN CANON TOO ( to me anyway) LIKE LIKE LIKE AUGH
I wish I had more to say about this but frankly this explanaton literally sums it all up LMAO
POV I KNOW I WROTE IT BUT HAVING SOMEONE ELSE EXPLAIN THE WHY OF CHARACTER'S ACTIONS/EMOTIONS IS HELPFUL AND GOOD TO ME!!!
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hirsuteandcute · 5 months
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Do you have any tips to get my mum to stop trying to shave my moustache it's new and I'm very proud of it but she dosent like it
Do you have any advice to get my mum to leave my mustache alone
She keeps trying to pluck it without my permission 😒
Sorry I missed your first message last month 😣 I wish I had some magical advice that would just get her to stop but I know mums can be really hard tbh. I know some people can stand up to their mums but I really can't, honestly. If I try to present a rational argument or discussion to her I feel like she gets angry because she basically still sees me as her property so I should obey her no matter what, even at 27.
Whether you feel able to confront her about it is something that is entirely up to you, I don't want to give you advice that might put you in a difficult situation with your mum. Ideally you'd be able to tell her that this is a decision you've made and you're happy with, and it's not your responsibility to conform to other people's desires, but if your mum is anything like mine, I know that may not really be possible 😬
Is she like physically coming at you with hair removing tools? That's insane wtf (parents do crazy things like that sometimes tho so I'm not really surprised). It's actually sad she'd go to such extremes to remove your hair as physically trying to force you like I can't imagine doing that to anyone let alone my own child.
I guess the only other thing I can say is that maybe if you just quietly continue to show her that you want it to stay and continue to live your life without removing it yourself, she'll eventually tire out and stop harassing you so much. That's basically been the situation with my mum. When I was younger she'd be like "the wax pot is on, get over here now so I can wax you" and I'd be like "okay mum :(" because I was young and scared and insecure, but now she knows she can't force me anymore.
Her comments still hurt, especially since she's so critical of so many aspects of my appearance and always has been, but now I just ignore them and they bother me less over time. Actually I feel kind of sorry for her, I know it's only because she's been conditioned to believe hair on women is a horrible, ugly thing that needs to be gotten rid of that she's like this. I actually think I'm more free and happier than her because I'm not scared of all these unimportant things like body or facial hair. If I have a moustache or sideburns or a unibrow I don't panic, it's just like whatever, whereas she panics if her eyebrows are a little bit overgrown. What a sad way to live, always worrying if you have a little bit of hair on your face or body.
Anyway, I hope if nothing else this has given you a little bit of comfort, I pray that some day in the not too distant future you'll be at a point where your mum can't bother you anymore and you can just live a happy life with your moustache. Love from me, your hairy friend xxx
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free-fart-avenue · 11 months
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I wanted to have a mental break down in the corner of my bed but when I got there I just kept watching YouTube in the corner but I feel slightly more shitty, not even enough for me to realize right away that I feel more shitty, but I still feel like the break down is happening.
Is there a way to find out if something is wrong with me? I don't usually (especially if it has something to do with me) understand any emotion other than happy.
Like I get that emotions are feelings but when do they happen? I know what sad and happy and angry feel like but I've never FELT stressed, I just suddenly break with no warning. I mean I get a near constant dred any time I don't do anything but I know that one, that's guilt. I'm good friends with guilt. Have been since childhood. It won't leave..
Is stress close to guilt? What about morning joy? What is it like to wake up excited for the day? How can you have motivation to do great things for yourself while also being happy with what you have?
I look at something and know it needs to be good so that anyone who comes across it will be happy, nothing missing and every effort I can give goes into that. But then..
"I know that I don't know how to do that and that is really important.."
"I want to be able to say I did it ALL by myself so I can't ask someone to do it for me. And I know how to do it I just haven't ever done it so I'm not good at it."
"Is this whole thing even needed? The world has gone on this long without it and no one will even see it and if anyone does they won't even know the parts I worked the hardest on.."
"no one will know how hard I worked on it unless I tell them and I know how annoying that gets... I shouldn't make it."
So on and so forth. I know what it is like to be excited about something but each time I am there is a special dred that I will lose the motivation before I can act on it. I never know when it will be here or for how long and I try to act on it each time. But what about the things I don't want to do but have to?
Laundry? Cleaning my room? Cleaning the litter box? School work? How can I do the things that need to be done with a passion that nothing can put out? I don't understand, on a fundamental level, the people who can do things they hate, well, without being told.
I've lived all my life with guilt for not doing, not only what needs to be done but also what I say I'll do. I will probably never say "No more! No more will I let guilt control me!" Be cause if I do... I'd feel guilty. I'd hate myself for going back on what I said and bring myself back into my depression and feel worse about it, and I feel like if that happens I will never get out.
What's worse is I know how to get rid of this feeling but I don't have the motivation to start.
Part of me is scared. The people that I know (I call them acquaintances because I don't like or trust them enough with my problems) and I see pretty regularly get worried when something is different about me. I do really love seeing those people ever single time I do, I have for years, so for at least 7 years these people are used to seeing me with a smile because I see them and am happy. But when I found out that I want to be a person who isn't always happy, someone who can say things as they are without fear of hatred, they have been getting worried when I don't smile for 20 minutes..
I know who I want to be but I'm scared of people being worried. I know most of them would be there for me but on days when I see them and have a headache or am just more tired than normal I get people who think we're close asking in the most worried tone from them (sometimes pulled aside from the group) "Are you okay??"
I don't want that
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scentedcutlery · 10 months
Text
hopeless depressive rant about my cat who doesn't stop screaming
i fucking
i'm so sad and angry
i'm scrolling through tumblr and seeing other people's cats being cuddly and cute and mine has been making me actively want to kill myself since march
why the fuck did she start screaming and why won't it stop
she moved in with me in september. After dealing with an illness everything was great and i was so happy
i love her more than anything, she's made me feel loved and valued through some of the roughest periods of my life
but now she won't stop screaming, ever since march
Day or night it doesn't fucking matter, it's screaming time
i went with her to the vet so often and tried so many meds, i tried taking her on daily walks, playing so much with her, giving snacks when she's quiet and nothing works.
what horrors did spring unleash into her, why is she like this. Does she hate me for taking her away from my mom's house? Is my place really this fucking bad? I found a larger apartment and moved so it'd be away from the constant car noise, and closer to trees and birds but it didn't change shit
She is castrated and despite that i tried medications against heat to no avail.
She has places to climb, blankets she loves sleeping in and she gets so much attention
but it doesn't matter, it's scream time
and i'm beyond the fucking point of sanity now. I can't deal with this anymore, i keep hoping she's so insanely sick that we have to put her down so i can get rid of this forever and be able to fucking sleep again
i loved cats so much but now i'm terrified of them. I wanted to get her a friend to play with but I'm scared shitless that it'll just be another demon to take care of
i hate my cat. I hate her so much.
Why did she change into this. What did i do different, what did i do wrong.
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pyrrhiclover · 1 year
Text
Its funny how my feelings work.
I never feel one at a time.
No matter how happy I am, there's always anger.
No matter how angry I am, there's always the root of sadness.
But I don't care anymore.
Because I also go numb all the time.
When feeling grows to be too much of a hassle, it just suddenly turns off.
Only until my anger comes back.
I can't get rid of that pain, the way I feel because of it.
Though I don't care anymore, feeling anything besides what he thought was strong is pathetic.
So I won't cry, I won't laugh too loud, I won't show when I'm scared or uncomfortable, and most importantly-
I won't feel anything besides anger.
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lyxthen · 2 years
Text
Having Gregor Samsa feelings
My family cares for me. They love me, or they loved me, they feel responsable for me. They do everything it is reasonable to ask them to do.
And yet.
They also despise me. They pity, yet they despise. me. They are ashamed of me, I believe. And I am ashamed of myself. For giving them so much trouble. Being unable to do help. They call me lazy.
I did not ask to be turned into a bug.
I did not ask to be in pain. My life is good. School is good. I like school. I like my classmates. I like my teachers. I made friends. And they care for me, it seems. They worry about me. They see me as a person. They check up on me. "Are you feeling good today?" I say, "No, not quite. But we can't do much about it." And they pat my shoulder. When I tell mother I am not feeling well, she sighs, exasperated. She talks comforting words, but she sounds annoyed. She is reassuring herself I will get better. That I will be able to be independent, some day, that I will heal, and be fixed. And if I don't heal, that I will have the strength to have a normal life. I wish I could believe those words but I can't.
I didn't go to school today. I went, for a whole week. I was proud. I was tired and in pain but I went. And mother was happy. She comforted me.
She only comforts me when I go to school. Sometimes she points out how well I look, how I must be feeling good that day. "I may look well but I am not," I reply. She can't tell how much pain I'm in just from looking at me. Am I supposed to cry, for her to understand how much I am hurting? I have cried. I have cried, and she is yet to understand it. She loves me, she says. I don't know if that's true. I feel like she only cares for me because I am her child. She has said it multiple times, "If you weren't my child, I wouldn't be able to put up with you. If you were adopted I would've returned you". And she says it jokingly, and expects me to laugh.
She says she loves me. She doesn't love me because of who I am. She loves me out of responsability. She didn't abort me, not because she wanted to have me, but because she thought abortion was wrong. She says she never wanted to have children.
I am a burden to her. And it hurts me because I love her. And she suffers because of me. She is sad and angry with me and I can't blame her. I am sad and angry with myself.
But I didn't choose this. I didn't choose to turn into a bug. I would've been happy to have a normal life. But I can't help it. No ammount of sheer willpower will magically make the pain go away.
And I am only congratulated when I succeed. If I fail, even if I put more effort into trying, all I do is get scolded. I wish my mother would say, "I love you. Even if you end up begging in the street and wearing old rags. Even if you don't ammount to anything. Even if you end up hospilized in a mental institution, or jail. Even if you don't finish school. I love you. And it's alright, because you tried." And if she said that, if she just said that. I wouldn't ask anything of her again. To know that she will love me even if I am a failure. Even if she doesn't give me financial support. I want her to believe that I really did try my best. Because every day I try my best. Every day I carry this physical burden, and this emotional burden. Can I be blamed, for stumbling in my way? I know I can't get rid of it, not until I die. And I don't plan to die. I want to go on, even if its painful. Even if I don't know happiness ever again. Life it's worth it, I believe. "You will heal" its not comforting. Its painful to hear. Because it implies that I am only worthy of love if I heal. If I am "normal enough" to be productive and independent. That I should be able to have a normal life because I am smart and I have all my limbs intact. As if that was enough.
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angelpuns · 11 months
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RAH, SPARKS OF BLUE- OIMJNHUBG MY HEART! You've killed Ranting anon, how could U :'C (/pos) but again SPOILER WARNING FOR ANYONE ELSE, GO READ IT.
But like <PKMJNHBG RAPH!! THE BOY! He's so sweet dude, and I love that his emotions are all over the place because thats how grieving works! (Ranting anon is grieving the loss of the Bloodbath au rn lol-) But like I love that he got angry at Casey and at Leo and at himself because like I said before its so, so easy to feel angry! That's why most people tend to try and be angry at something when their upset, so they have something to hate and they think once they get rid of that thing they hate they'll feel better when they won't and Raph realized that but Donnie hasn't! I love the difference in maturity! Raph realizing you can't hate someone for doing something they didn't know would cause harm (Casey) and Donnie hating him anyway because if he's angry he doesn't have to feel sad!!! KMJNHBG my heart, it also shows the difference in high/low empathy w/ autism and it makes me happy but I'll get into that another time- I'm eating ur writing like a goat rn.
I DIDN'T KNOW RANTING ANON WAS ALSO READING THE FIC LMAO HI
I was really relly really worried I wass gonna do a bad job of writing Raph tbh cause I know he's one of the more mischaracterized lil fellas - Like I know he's a silly guy most of the time but the Eldest Sibling(tm) in me really wanted to give it a go hehehe
ALSO YEAH HE'S SO MAD AT EVERYTHING FR BUT THERE'S SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH HE HAS NO CLUE WHERE TO DIRECT IT so it ends up sadly being directed at himself smh smh
Also absolutely think Raph would just feel so so so bad for being wrongfully angry at CJ ( even though yeah is partially to blame but fr he wass just doing as Leo said yknow??)
ALSO GET INTO IT RN CAUSE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT CAUSE YOU'RE SO RIGHT ( regardless of wether me writing it like that was on purpose or not uhhhh I will not say LMAO)
Idk if anything i said makes sense but tldr is YAY!!! and YOU'RE SO RIGHT!!!
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rcksmith · 3 years
Text
The Agreement part.2 — Kaz Brekker
Tumblr media
Resume/Masterlist
Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader.
Warnings of series: Convenience/arranged marriage, swearing, mention of fight, mention of death, mention of desire, fluff, sensual, mention of post-traumatic stress.
Warnings of chapter: swearing.
Word count: 4k
A/N: I hope you guys like.💖
English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.
Requests are closet. Love you ❤️
— — — —
“What?!” Your exclamation came out louder than intended, and perhaps sharper than expected.
The salty sea breeze came through the window once more. The smell of salt and ocean invaded the room and for a second it felt like being in a ship's cabin at sea.
Kaz looked at you as if you were some child. Or someone deaf. But if he was swimming in acidic thoughts, he didn't say them.
"Think carefully." His voice was firm and explicit, the ones men use to convince women of something. “You want freedom, don't you? Live your life without having to fulfill a man's whims or your father's expectations. You wants to be able to snow on a ship without having a date to go back and make your own destiny. You want just needing to care what new adventure knocks on your door and what promise of wonders life awaits. It is not?"
How did he figure it out so well in such a short time? Was he too shrewd or were you too transparent?
You nodded, unable to say anything. Perhaps out of perplexity at how Kaz read you so easily. Or maybe the way he looked like an overpoweringly beautiful fallen angel in the moonlight.
“And the only way to do that is to get married.”
You frowned. “As I recall, Brekker, I came here just so I wouldn't have to get married.”
“And it's a stupid plan.” God, you wanted to kill him. “You asked me to have the Dregs take you to the harbor without your father's spies noticing. But it turns out your father's spies already know you're here.”
Your breath was lost somewhere between lungs and nose.
“Since you arrived, the noise from the Crow Club downstairs has become less shrill. And this is not typical criminal behavior. Either they have adopted good manners or someone they know they should fear has joined the Club.” Kaz sat more relaxed in the armchair behind his desk, his dark blue eyes locked on you. “I would bet on the second option.”
“So I came here for nothing?” You were starting to get angry at his beating around the bush. Because you knew it was manipulation. Brekker was laying the groundwork and you understood that.
“I did not say that. Turns out you can never get rid of your father. Not when he's a man with the purchasing power able to buy an entire country. There will always be someone who will recognize you, someone who will find you. And for the right price, the whole world is capable of being bribed. You would run away only to be chased by other spies, other people wanting the reward your father will give to whoever brings you back home.”
Very early on, you realized that Kaz Brekker was capable of crushing dreams as easily as crushing an insect. His destructive power was colossal and you saw all of your desires floating under his palm. Waiting just for him to brutally clench his fist and crush them.
But that's not what he did.
“You'll only get what you want if you follow his orders.” The breeze came through the window once more, ruffling her charcoal hair. “But if you can't defeat your enemies, change the rules of the game.”
“And is that where marriage to you comes in?”
“See it.” His body leaned very gently across the table towards you, it was a millimeter and ridiculous gesture, but it felt like him standing a breath away from you. “What you need is to get married. But marrying someone who doesn't give a damn about what you're going to do, and don’t have expectations of you. Someone who is not interested in home life, family life or Any other things you can offer other than money.”
Any other things you can offer. The night breeze this time was accompanied by an impure, almost obscene scene of the fallen angel in front of you on a bed of black duvets and caustic weather. A moment when the ends of his black hair brushed your forehead and your nose, moving back and forth as followed the rhythm of his hips and…
The sea breeze was gone, taking the obscene image with it and bringing back your common sense. For a second you wondered where that came from! You hadn't been in his presence for more than two hours and the entire compilation of what it was like Kaz Brekker, so far, had frightened you and attracted you in an absurdly dangerous way.
"And are that you came, I suppose." You hoped your voice couldn't give away your impure thoughts from seconds ago. “Do you want us to form an alliance where you receive my dowry and in return I am free from my father's demands and can do as I please with my freedom?"
“Alliance is a very strong term for what we are doing here.” He was succinct, “I would tell you to look at this as a business transaction. A marriage document is still just a piece of paper. And nothing else. Don't get carried away by sentimentalism. Things only have feelings if you want them to.”
Kaz was right, you knew that. For all your belief in true love and the many books romance novels you devoured, you still understood that a marriage could very well be seen as a business translation. It are a sad, cold way to see something so beautiful, but it still true.
“I have no interest in anything other than your dowry and you have no interest other than freedom. So what I'm proposing is something very sensible and objective. When we get married, your father will set you free, and you won't have any husband to please or any other crap. I don't want and don't expect anything from you, I don't care if you're sailing to Ravka or venturing on The Fold.”
“Do you want the money out of greed or despair?”
Kaz took a second to get a better look at you after that sneaky question. You had asked the correct question amid so many banalities and he realized that you were more cunning than you looked.
If he wanted to know your secrets, you also wanted to know his.
“A bit of both.” He was sincere.
“And what do you intend to do with my father's industries? Because you would win them too. And any misdirection could end up reducing my father's empire to nothing, and I don't want him to see the thing he loves most in ruins.”
Brekker heard the feelings in your voice. There was a hidden pang of hurt, but a lot of determination and honesty. You loved your father and understood him, even if you didn't agree with his principles. You had a fair and upright nature and were able to move mountains to get things done the way you thought was right. That was a red flag for Kaz. You were a good person. And he not.
He could never promise you things that go back to a good guy. But he could promise you honesty and justice. Kaz Brekker would never take something from someone the way it was taken from him so many years ago. He was a monster. But never in the same category as Pekka.
“I have no interest in having an empire doomed to fail.” His eyes were serious. “My motivation has always been greed. Why would I sink the company that is capable of making me such a rich man?”
He would have to be an idiot to let such a lucrative business go. And Kaz Brekker was anything but an idiot.
“Would you let me do anything I want?”
“I have no interest in what you don't or do.”
You hesitated for a second, as if remembering another detail. “My father doesn't believe in divorce, and even if he did, I would be pressured to remarry. Do you understand that we couldn't divorce?”
“I have no desire to marry again. And you might as well get other men you want without making a fuss, without your father finding out.” Always rational and objective. Without any inclination to the heart's desires. “There is no room in this world for feelings. Much less in this agreement. If you fall in love with someone you will have to be content with just relating to them, not getting married. And it seems like a small price to pay for so many benefits.”
It was the perfect plan. Did you know that. It was rational, objective and cunning. Something advantageous for both without costing too much. But why did you feel that something could go very wrong? You were a romantic person and you knew you could see things where they didn't exist. The truth was, you would have to leave your heart completely out of the picture.
Just a business transaction.
Brekker seemed to see a hint of hesitation in your eyes.
“It's very simple, Ms. Y/L/N.” That voice that gave you goose bumps hovered in front of you. “You marry me and you still have your freedom, because I don't give a damn about what you do after.”
“20 million from Kruges. Rich.” his eyes gleamed with a deep glow.
“And how do I know this isn't a trick?”
“I don't promise lies.” His firm face was serious “I won't give you happiness, Y/n. Much less love. Love doesn't exist in Kerch. But I will give you freedom, independence, a comfortable life that you are accustomed. And it seems to be much more than you have now.”
You knew you could be making a deal with the devil. Selling your soul to that man with the face of a fallen angel and the aura of Lucifer. But what choice did you have?
You couldn't go back if you sealed that deal. That man would be bound whit you, even by a piece of paper, for a lifetime. Was it worth the price? You didn't care for your father's press to want to be in the management and you had a lot more money than twenty million Kruges. What would you be missing? Your chance to marry one day whit someone you came to love? But if you came home without someone one day from now your father would marry you to a gargoyle. And the way out to flee no longer seemed a viable option.
Yes, it was worth it.
Seeming to see from the glint in your eyes that you've made a decision, Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, reached out a leather-gloved hand toward you. His eyes sparkled with a mysterious spark, the scent of male cologne with a hint of danger lurking around the room. And for a moment, you felt a shiver go up your spine and the feeling that your life had just begun.
“Agree to marry me?” He said.
The feeling was that you were about to embark on the greatest adventure of your life. You didn't know what that little stunt with Kaz Brekker awaited you. But you would find out.
“Yes.” You took his hand in a firm, intense handshake that held a million secrets.
A satisfied, victorious smile came to his lips. And whenever Kaz gave him that expression, it felt like seeing the fallen angel that was the reason so many humans sinned. The clouds in the sky shifted, moving out of the moon's path and making the distilled rays of light shimmer more brightly. His black hair and white skin were graced with those bundles, and for a second his beauty was overwhelming.
You held your breath.
Brekker continued to say something, but you couldn't pay attention. Your heart began to race, the moonlight following in his footsteps as Kaz got up from his chair and went to fetch some papers from across the room. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him. His body was taller and thinner than you deduced when he was sitting down. Kaz had long, slender legs beneath black straight-cut pants, his chest was broad and his waist was narrow. For a second, you felt like running your hand over the contours of his body.
You shifted your attention forward abruptly. Focusing eyes on something else.
That was the curse of handsome men. They fooled women and made them daydream. With his underworld god beauty and mysterious aura with a touch of danger, Kaz Brekker was overwhelmingly attractive. And your blood reacted to that. Any woman would have reacted the same way.
“And we'll have to leave tomorrow morning…” he sat opposite you again.
“Sorry, what?”
You turned your attention to his words, not remembering half of what he said seconds ago. Kaz looked at you intently this time, squinting his eyes millimetrically, as if he was trying to guess which paths your mind had wandered in for the past two minutes.
“Your deadline is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?”
"Yes." You got back to the core of the problem once more. “The trip to my house takes a few hours. Half a day if it's raining.”
Kaz had his eyes on the papers in his hands, maybe they were maps or documents, but you didn't feel like craning your neck to see what it was. Leaning over to view the papers meant getting closer to Brekker, and two hours in his presence was enough for you to understand that nothing good would happen if you got any closer. Or maybe you didn't trust your own feelings and emotions.
“This will have to be done very discreetly.” He didn't look up from his papers. “If any rumors about our deal reach the wrong people, your father will hear about our plan. And that meant you will being forced to marry someone else, and me without my money. Does anyone know you're here because you planned to run away?”
You shook your head. “No. I didn't get to tell my friends. But now that the plan is different, I intend to tell a friend that…”
“You can't tell anyone.” Kaz lifted ocean blue eyes to you in an electrifying look that made you shiver.
“And what is supposed to say to my friends?” You felt a pang of indignation.
“That we are in love.”
This time, your breath was gone. The phrase was like pouring gasoline on an old, flammable woodpile. And you were afraid of what might be the match that would set off a fire.
Kaz noticed your reaction and was amused by it. “Just say some nonsense about falling in love with a criminal. It wouldn't be the first time a rich little girl has fallen in love with the bad guy, and I guarantee it won't be the last.”
“And you won't tell anyone about the truth too?” You wanted to change the focus you.
“I don't have to answer to anyone.”
This time you gave a smug smile and crossed your arms in an insolent gesture. “So everyone will think the infamous Kaz Brekker, Dirty Handes and Ketterdam's most dangerous gangster is in love with a rich little girl?”
Kaz narrowed his eyes at your teasing.
“It won't be the first time that the man with a bad temper and dangerous soul falls in love with the little girl. And I'm sure it won't be the last.” You said.
You were provocative, witty and stubborn. You would always hit at the same height and loved to show people that could very well play their game. Brekker unraveled this perfectly. You weren't the kind of woman who would be peaceful, serene, and calm. You wouldn't be like Inej. You would not take his orders and his taunts in silent, contained rage. You were intense. And that was a danger.
Why did he get the feeling you were so much more than he imagined?
“Let's go to your house tomorrow morning. Nine in the morning.” He changed the subject. “I'll go with you and we'll get married.”
"My father must be preparing everything by now." You sighed. “He takes his promises very seriously and I have no doubt that, when I returns, the ceremony scene will be set in the party garden.”
Partly you were relieved about it now. Planning a ceremony are intense and personal. You never really thought about getting married, but you always imagined that if one day it happened it would be the man of your dreams. And you didn't know if you would want to organize a fake wedding. There were certain things that were inevitable to keep the heart from breaking.
“Better yet, the faster the better.”
The two of you discussed some more details of the plan in the next few hours. It was agreed that Kaz would pick you up at nine from your hotel tomorrow, in an elegant hired carriage (which you obviously would be paying for) and the two of you would go to your house in Kerch. For all intents and for all people, the truth would be that the two of you were in love. It was such a typical cliché that it wouldn't be the least bit hard to believe.
And after a while, you two could already show yourself to the world as a couple who barely saw each other. Rich society was full of them: marriage with coldness and distance, where the man has his bets and lovers and the woman her travels and her jewelry. Your father would surely understand and leave you alone. After all, he had gotten a son-in-law to inherit his empire. A young son-in-law with blood for business who would make your father extremely satisfied. However, now the two of you had to look like a couple in love. And the reality of the situation was a secret that only the two of you would take with you to the tomb.
But, that night it was difficult for you to sleep. Anxiety, restlessness and fear gnawed at you like cunning mice, rolling you from side to side in bed, whispering in your ears millions of futures where everything could go wrong. Where not even Kaz Brekker's plans could free you from the clutches of one of your father's suitors.
When the clock struck seven in the morning, you jumped out of bed with unsettling, restless energy. You didn't like feeling helpless and waiting for Brekker to show up was exactly the definition of a princess in trouble. You had to do something.
- -
“What do you mean to get married?!” Jesper choked on his breakfast, and Nina nearly spit out all her orange juice.
Kaz rolled his eyes and continued sorting through the documents on the large round table. He was going to be gone for a few days at most and needed the people he trusted most to take care of business while he was gone. There were a lot of robberies to do and Kaz spent the night crafting and modifying plans for options where he wasn't involved. He had made a list of what needed to be checked at ports and what needed to be resupplied at Crow clube.
The plan was to marry you when they arrived in Kerch and return to Crow Club the next day. Kaz knew he would have to bring you, the two of you would have to stay together until your dowry was delivered to him. After that you could go on any adventure you wanted.
But dealing with the Crows was being more exasperating than Kaz could have expected.
"I didn't even know you had a girlfriend!" Wylan was in shock.
"Nobody knew!" Nina and Inej had their chins on the floor. Matthias was the only one who didn't seem to care so much.
"I didn't know the affairs of my private life were your business." Kaz didn't look up from the papers he kept in folders for the stupid ones.
"But you never said anything." Inej said.
"It was the intention."
"It's with Y/n, isn't it?" Jesper had bright eyes and a gleeful gambling smile stretched across his lips.
Kaz looked up at the boy with chocolate creamy skin, and his eyes narrowed slightly.
“She spent hours in yours office last night.”
"Oh my Santis!" Inej, Nina and Wylan exclaimed at once, eyes wide.
"The daughter of the richest man in Kerch." Wylan said.
"YOUR DOG!" Jesper clapped Kaz on the shoulder with an open palm, a loud laugh echoing and joy filling his voice.
Kaz suppressed the urge to look at the spot where Jesper had touched him. It had been years since he'd gotten over the most brutal aversion to touch, when the mere thought of getting close to someone made him tingle and dizzy with imminent fainting. At 28 years old, Kaz Brekker had proven to be greater than the demons and weaknesses that haunted him, wanting to see his downfall. A man who wanted to defeat Pekka could have no weaknesses. And he prided himself on almost have none of them.
However, offhand gestures made him look at the spot where he had been touched. The sensation brought was not unbearable or nauseating, but strange. And when the situation was skin to skin in a touch that caught him off guard, the feeling was unpleasant. Like a splinter under the skin.
It was easier with people Kaz felt comfortable with, but it wasn't something he cared about. He forced himself to overcome the most brutal aversion just to be a man without weaknesses, no chance of being defeated in a torture, no chance of being defeated by a faint. No for to touch someon.
“I thought you didn't know her in person when I warned you yesterday.” Inej tried to contain her little smile.
“It was the intention. You guys forgot the definition of secret…”
"Boss." One of the employees had entered that exclusive room. "There's someone here wanting to talk to you, Sir." He looked apprehensive.
Kaz frowned. The crow club had no movement at eight in the morning.
"Who is?"
"I think…"
"Will you please let me through!" The female voice sounded outside the room.
Jesper and the rest of the gang were wide-eyed, mouths opening in amusement and bewilderment. Kaz was catatonic. What the fucking hell were you doing there?!
"What do you mean I can't talk to your boss?!" And you continued. “I spoke to him yesterday...Don't give me these arguments, my dad tells his employees to tell people exactly that...I swear if you touch out about me again I will...”
"Fucking hell!" Kaz came out from behind the counter, crossing the living room and opening the door.
He came face to with that scene. A short girl who argued with a bouncer who was triple her height and size. Kaz knew the man was arrogant and macho, and had probably nudged your temper. He would have been amused by the scene if he wasn't abgry that you didn't follow his explicit rules.
“Ray.” Kaz glanced at the bouncer, a steady gaze that made the brute immediately back away from you.
You even gave the man an angry look before heading towards Kaz.
"What are you doing here?!" He whispered angrily.
"I couldn't wait." You wiggled your fingers, a tic of anxiety. “I could barely sleep. It was lucky I didn't show up at six in the morning.”
“That's not excuses. We have a schedule!"
“But I couldn't wait!" You whispered too. “It's visseral. I can't just sit there and wait!”
What an insufferable creature!
"Well, you'll have to learn because…!"
"What are you two whispering back there? “ Jesper's voice interrupted the discussion in whispers.
The two of you turned to the troupe standing in the doorway of the Crow room. Playful, mischievous smiles were plastered across their faces, and you felt your cheeks blush. Kaz and you looked at each other, and in that second of silent complicity, the two of you finally stepped into the roles of partners in crime.
Tagged: @aleksanderwh0r3 @thedelusionreaderbitch @hi-there-x @mell-bell @glowingatdawn @subjecta13-thefangirl @itsnotquimey @thatchampagnebitch @lamoursansfin @lostysworld @s3xymoonman @is-it-really-a-secret
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cinnamonest · 3 years
Text
Razor (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile
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@bleachlemon
I'm glad you are ok with it because oh boy do I have some very very n a s t y noncon-y thoughts about our wolfboi. We love a dense boy, not a single thought in his empty, horny lil brain. Head empty, just horny for y/n. 
I also have the big horny™ for any cross between boys and canines... Does smth for me. As if my favoritism wasn't obvious by how much I've written below lmao
tw: general yandere content, violence, mentions of n/sfw
tw below cut: breeding, heavy  noncon, like jfc this is nasty, misogynistic
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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?
The biggest issue with Razor is his complete and total lack of restraint. He sees no need for it, he has no real concept of social norms. Wolves don't really practice restraint on... anything. When they see something they want to kill, they kill it, when they see something they want to have, they have it, when they're mad, they attack, when they're hungry, they eat.
So in a way, he's perfectly lucid, but doesn't act as a normal lucid person who understands social norms would do. He knows that you give him some burning, fluttery feeling, and that he enjoys having you around, and that he gets sad when you have to leave. He's perceptive enough to know it's the same urge that drives humans to form their long-term mate partnerships. If that's what they refer to as "love," he'll readily adopt that term as a way to describe what he feels. What he doesn't get is everything between point A and point Z. No point in all the "courtship" and "marriage" and other human customs -- he doesn't need to "date" to know you're the one, and he doesn't need some signed paper to signify he loves you. In his mind, it's perfectly logical to expect you to immediately come live out in Wolvendom with him. You did accept all his courtship signs, after all.
Wolves are very straightforward with it, you see. Their courtship includes going for walks side-by-side, close to each other, which you did when you let him guide you through the woods. Wolves will rest their head or legs on the other, and you let him rest his head on your shoulder (even if you flinched with surprise when he did, uncomfortable but too nice to say anything). He even when to the extent of engaging in human mating rituals -- you accepted all those gifts he hunted down, and you smiled when he said nice things about how pretty you are, how nice you smell.
So in other words, you've basically already accepted him as a mate. That's what he's perceived, and changing his initial perceptions is not easily accomplished.
How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?
One of the most likely, and definitely the fastest. Possibly after meeting you a single time. He can't take the risk of you not coming back.
He won't be very subtle or sneaky about it either, not tricking you into walking right into captivity, nor drugging you or taking you in your sleep. It's very straightforward - it's not like there's anyone in Wolvendom to hear you, so he has no problem just slinging you over his shoulder and carrying you off. He kinda gets why you'd panic, so he reassures you that no, he's not gonna eat you or anything, you're just going home.
Don't worry about the pack - they won't eat you either, or even hurt you. He's already told them not to. He gets why you might be frightened by the massive, snarling creatures and their massive teeth and eyes that shine in moonlight, but he'll make sure you get used to them and accept them as your family, just like he has.
How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 
That depends. Can you fight off two 180-pound masses of claws, teeth, and muscle? If so, sure, it'll be easy. If not... you'll have some issues.
He's lucky to have such a loyal pack that will help him with these things - they don't exactly understand why you'd want to leave, but they know you're not supposed to. Even when he has to leave you, which isn't often, he'll leave a few of them around to watch you. To make sure no one comes and steals you or anything - and of course, the implication that it's to make sure you don't run away, either. He doesn't really get why you would, but he's come to the realization, based on what you've tried to tell him, that you miss your family and friends. And he gets that, he really does, but in the end, he's selfish at his core, and his empathy for you isn't enough for him to just let you go.
He sleeps latched onto you, arms wrapped around you, so it's not a good idea to try. Your best bet is to wait for a time he's gone and distract the wolves with something, which isn't too hard, and run for it. But even if you do manage to escape, you won't be for long. They can smell you from a mile away and will use your scent to pinpoint you down within a few minutes. They don't exactly have any gentle ways of taking you down and bringing you back, either. They're basically going to have to use their teeth, so it's better if you don't struggle - you'll just hurt yourself.
If he catches you, though, he'll just get huffy and angry, and much like when initially taking you, he'll just pick you right up and bring you back. He's not opposed to stealing ropes and the like from the passing knights, and tying knots isn't too difficult to figure out.
How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?
Poor boy is very easy to lie to and manipulate. Head empty, not many thoughts up there. However, you'll have to be clever about it, because most of the time, even if he believes you, he doesn't care. Sure, you can easily convince him that it's normal for human couples to sleep separately... But that's not going to stop him from curling up with you, because that's what he does. That's what wolves do.
He will, however, be somewhat easily manipulated into getting you things you want, if he thinks it'll make you happy. However, obtaining things you want will almost definitely come in the form of theft, or worst case scenario, the body of a passer-by that just so happened to have something you wanted visibly on their person.
If he finds out you lied to him on something, he'll get pouty and grumpy. It's not pleasant, but it's better than the rage reaction of some yanderes.
How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?
His life revolves around you, and yours should revolve around him. That's how mates are. You can go for walks in the woods! You can take naps in the sun together! You can spend literal hours mating! Why would you need anything else?
That being said, he's always had a uniqueness from the wolves in that he's awake more - wolves sleep about 14 hours a day, him only about 8 or 9. You'll definitely be getting a lot more sleep than you would back home, but you'll have a few precious hours to yourselves. It makes him happy - it used to be time he spent all alone, a reminder of how he didn't truly fit in with humans nor wolves. But now, you have that time together! He's willing to do most anything you want, so long as you're together. He's always had some adaptative differences he practices by himself - making fires, cooking food on them, wearing clothes. If you want to go exploring, you can do that, if you want to make food, you can do that too. He'll even accommodate you if you want to do useless things, like your insistence on teaching him to read, or practicing his speech.
What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?
It's fairly simple. Don't leave. That's really the one big one.
He's actually not one to make a rule against fighting him - he'll see it as you wanting to play fight, wrestling, which wolves do all the time. It's fun, even if it's easy for him to win. And it's exciting when you fight back, in a weird way.
Don't make contact with other humans, if you see them. Oh, and he'll want you to report to him everything you did or saw while he was gone hunting.
Generally, if he gives you a command, which isn't too much, he expects you to follow it. In his mind, he's the male, he's supposed to tell you what to do. Isn't that how it usually works with humans too?
If you're too disobedient, he'll get grumpy. Honestly, his most likely form of dealing with it is to wrestle you to the ground, and essentially hold you down until you comply or agree to whatever he wants.
How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?
Rip.
But seriously. No, they're not going to last. He's one of the more paranoid ones, because deep down he's aware of how little he understands. For all he knows, every human male that talks to you could be doing what you call "flirting." Hell, didn't some girls like other girls too? How does he know which ones do and which ones don't? That means everyone is a threat, and he can't let threats get in the way.
He's not one of the ones to be subtle or try to hide it from you. He will probably try a little bit if he knows it's one of your family or friends whose blood is soaking his clothes when he comes back to you, but if it's random, he might even be proud. Look at that, he took down a whole search party that came looking for you all by himself! It's proof of his strength and dominance, and you should be happy that you have a strong mate to protect you! And he doesn't really empathize well - if you're upset, he will explain exactly that to you, and insist you change how you see things. Humans are so strange, being upset that your mate is able to protect you. You'll see why it's a good thing eventually, he's sure.
How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?
He gets frustrated pretty easily. It's usually just a lack of understanding, in his mind, you're being unnecessarily difficult almost all the time. He has told you a million times he doesn't care about whatever is normal for humans, yet you continuously bring it up, and that's a bit irritating. He'll huff and sigh and clamp a hand over your mouth if you're going on about it, and if you really refuse to shut up about it, there are a variety of ways of making you quiet - or distracting you from complaints.
He's got an immature streak, as he never really had anyone around to teach him otherwise. So he gets very pouty, a little bit aggressive and forceful when it comes to being upset over something or getting his way. If he wants attention and you're not giving it to him, he won't hesitate to just take whatever you're holding and focused on of your hands and toss it to the side.
On the positive side, he's never going to be passive aggressive. He's always straightforward and has no hesitation to tell you exactly how he's feeling.
If he's genuinely, truly furious, he can get violent. He'll probably apologize and definitely feel bad, licking all the little wounds. He wouldn't try to do anything so bad as bone breaking or severely hurting you, but might accidentally lose control of his own strength.
Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?
More or less an equal. Not much to say here, as, to be honest, that sort of thing hasn't really crossed his mind. He doesn't waste time with thoughts of relative value, he just knows he loves you and wants you.
Subconsciously, it would be slightly below. Due to a very natural upbringing, he automatically associates males as being the leaders and alphas, while females are... Well, puppy-making machines. Don't try to accuse him of any sort of sexism or anything - he can't even really wrap his head around the concept, much less understand why it's wrong to acknowledge how much weaker you are than him. If you need proof of that, he can easily wrestle with you and prove it.
How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?
Pretty highly determined. He mistakes a lot of things as signs of love, though. You might be only complying out of fear or exhaustion, but he won't be able to tell, he's not good with facial expressions, so he thinks it's a sign you're accepting him.
Honestly, he's one of the ones that, albeit unintentionally, will kind of guilt you into acceptance. You inevitably feel bad for him, you can tell how lonely he really is, and how desperately he loves you, wants you to love him. His intentions aren't malicious, and it's actually difficult to truly resent him, unlike some yanderes. Ironically, it reaches a point where rejecting him sometimes really does feel like kicking a sad little stray puppy in the rain - it makes you feel awful when he gets sad and quiet.
While there are a lot of yanderes who would be a lot more earnest and striving to serve and please you, which he doesn't really do, he's probably one of the most patient yanderes when it comes to this. He doesn't care if it takes the rest of your lives. He'll never give up or just settle for having you with him, he'll be loving you and trying to be reassured of your love till the day he dies, if that's what it takes.
Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?
Primarily, it's hard to emphasize how significantly his lack of human socialization impacts his yandere behaviors.
Most yanderes are forced to acknowledge the inherent wrongness of their actions - some will accept it and not care that it's wrong, some sadists enjoy knowing it's wrong, some will delude themselves into justifying it, some will try their best to act within moral boundaries or make up for their wrongness somehow. But all in all, they all have to face the reality of the situation and understand that what they're doing is considered wrong.
Razor's not like that. He doesn't really take the moral aspect into consideration. To him, the whole idea is simply a human thing entirely. It doesn't matter what humans do. He views the world in a very black and white sense. Morality is a more abstract concept, what's more important is how things are relative to himself - what he wants.
Tends to communicate in strange ways. Excess emotions, too much happiness or anger or whatever can make him forget his words, so there's a lot of subtle communication through grunts, whimpers, growls. Over time, you learn how to distinguish between the various noises and body language and what they mean.
Will lick you. It's weird. It's kinda gross. But it's just how he shows affection. He tends to get carried away with kisses, ending up lapping at your lips, licking your neck and collarbones, nuzzling his head into you.
General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?
Scientifically speaking, male sex drive is heavily boosted by testosterone. Testosterone can be greatly increased by heavy physical activity, eating high amounts of meat, sun exposure, and is even directly correlated to spending large amounts of time outdoors. 
You see where this is going.
Very high drive, very touchy, and no reservations, no shame. Thank whatever deity you care to recognize in Tevyat that you're isolated from other people out in the woods, because he has no concept of norms or appropriateness, and trying to get him to understand is a fruitless effort. You're wasting your time trying to explain the idea that groping and touching out of the blue is considered rude, or that most human men take issue with being very visibly, very noticeably hard and would likely try to conceal it, not just sit there with the blatant bulge poking forward... His response will only be that you're far away from humans, so it shouldn't matter. He's just trying to show you he loves you, that's why he insists on grinding into you all the time, staring at your body, humping you when you're curled up together quite ironically like a horny dog.
Unfortunately, he basically just does not know how to be gentle or slow about it. He can start off trying to be slow and soft if you beg for it, but once you're actually laying there and he's in you, he gets caught up in instinct and the heat of the moment, and just kinda... forgets about that whole "slow and gentle" thing, opting to just rut you as hard and fast as possible.
He doesn't talk much during sex. He already has some trouble forming sentences in normal times, you can't expect him to when he's fucking. You won't get a lot of words besides the occasional, "good, feels good," or little commands, but you will get a lot of animalistic noises - possessive growls, little whines of pleasure. He doesn't have any sense to hold back on his noises.
He's also the least likely to care about things like shaving, periods, or imperfections. Which is good, but you also can't use those things as an excuse to not fuck, it'll go in one ear and out the other.
How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?
It's not so much an intentional disregard for your willingness, so much as a combo of not really considering it, and thinking it's just something you'll change on. If he's human, and he has the urge, that means surely you do too. Sometimes humans need emotional connections before they want to mate, right? So he just needs to express his love to you. The looping problem there is that fucking you is pretty much his primary way of expressing love. It'll work out in the end, he guesses.
His limited knowledge of humanity also will lead him to certain conclusions. From what he understands, human society often shames females for having sex and wanting sex, right? That's dumb. But their mentality is probably ingrained in your brain, isn't it? That's why you act like this. But don't worry, he's not like the human men. Wolves don't feel that way. You'll understand that with time.
What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?
Biting/Scratching/Marking
It's a natural reaction to him. If he's balls deep in you, mounted on and pounding into your body, thrusting so hard that your body is lurching forward with every movement, he wants a way to hold you still, keep your body in place so that each pounding goes deeper and harder. It's second nature for him to just sink his teeth into your jugular, your neck, your shoulders. As an added bonus, he likes seeing the marks it leaves behind, in addition to how his fingernails that dig into your hips leave little indents in your skin.
Breeding
He doesn't know how to not cum in you. You can't honestly expect him to pull out of you, you're so warm and wet and soft, it would be torture not to reach a climax buried inside that tight heat. You can go on a rant about not wanting to get pregnant, but it'll go in one ear and out the other. He doesn't get it - you're supposed to want to have his pups. Do you not think he's a suitable mate for reproducing? You'll be halfway through explaining why kids aren't in your current agenda before being flipped over and pounded into yet again with his newfound determination to prove his strength and dominance to you. Once you understand that, surely, you'll want all the puppies you can possibly make.
Predator/Prey
This applies mostly to escape attempts. He'll be mad, but it triggers something in him, something instilled by years of hunting down poor little prey animals. The desire to hunt you down, find you, and ruin you. Instead of ripping you apart like he would boars, he can't think of anything but just fucking you up against the nearest tree, the ground, anything. The faster you run, the more afraid you are, the more exciting it is. It's a very primal urge, one that commands all sorts of predators, both in feeding and breeding.
Forced Orgasms
As with many human things, he makes certain discoveries with time about sex. The first time you fuck, it'll probably be too rough for you to really cum, but it'll only be a few days in before your body adjusts to the girth that's frequently inside of you, and you end up spasming all over him - and he's just got this shocked expression, watching with amazement when you clench down and quiver under him. Wait, you mean human females can orgasm too? Not just the men?
From that point forward, he's determined to fuck, lick, grind, and force every orgasm out of you as physically possible. It makes him feel a weird sort of pride and contentment. It's one of the few things that makes him a big smug. Even if you feel like you can't possibly cum any more, he'll try anyway.
How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?
It's your purpose! He has learned that human girls only have one baby at a time, sometimes two, which is nothing compared to how many pups wolves usually have in one litter. That means that you'll have to make up for the lack of quantity of pups with quantity of pregnancies, which means constantly breeding and breeding and making sure every last drop stays inside of you. He doesn't understand why humans would even want to prevent pregnancy, it's the best thing that can happen, it's the whole reason you're alive, and it's a sign that you're his. Like with most things, he knows eventually you'll come around. Once you actually have the pups there in front of you, you'll love it. He knows you will.
What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?
He's a little lacking on the thought process behind punishing. If he's mad, it tends to cloud his thoughts, reverting to a more animalistic state, and he's not gonna have the complex thoughts required to really think through punishment, so it's not gonna be anything complex.
Doesn't really matter, if he's mad, just fucking you is going to feel like a punishment, with him slamming you into the ground, a tree, any rough surface nearby and just rutting you, claw-like fingernails digging into your skin and teeth sinking into your shoulder to hold you in place, a hand clasped around your throat. Fucking is basically the primary outlet he chooses for his emotions, happiness, love, stress, and anger alike, a simple, primal form of expression. If he's mad, he just needs to take it out on something, release all of that force and energy into rough, brutal motions. Normally when he's angry, he'll go hunt down some animal, taking all that anger out on the kill. But, recently he's learned he actually quite prefers to release his anger this way. It's more satisfying and enjoyable, and it deters you from stepping out of line, too. It's not just your average slightly rough fucking, no, it's the kind of fucking that will genuinely hurt you, rutting you over and over until your insides are burning from friction, your walls and cervix so completely bruised and abused you'll feel the  throbbing soreness with every movement for days, hands leaving massive bruises all across your hips and shoulders. Not that that's any excuse to not fuck more, no, no soreness will get you out of normal daily routine.
What body parts of their darling do they like the most?
He has a thing for breasts. They're very unique to humans, it's something he hasn't had the opportunity to see or understand, and he'll spend a lot of time just burying his face in them, licking and sucking. Big or small, doesn't matter. He just likes them.
One more nasty HC i can't not talk about
wait, you mean humans have sex... Facing each other? There are positions other than doggy? It's all he's ever seen. Porn and the internet don't exactly exist in this world. The whole concept blows his mind. He can fuck you AND see your face while he does? He'll nearly faint right then and there, and you'll regret bringing it up once you've gone numb from the repetitive pounding. He'll start asking you what else exists out there, his brain will start thinking of all the different ways to fuck he's never thought about. Once he learns you can ride him, he's in heaven, even if it's not so much riding so much as you sitting on his cock and him bouncing you up and down with such ferocity you can't even move your legs.
Speaking of things he doesn't know about, if you're smart, you make sure he doesn't find out about blowjobs. He'll love it, and it won't be a blowjob so much as him literally fucking your throat, grabbing your head and hair and just wrecking your mouth.
None of it is him trying to hurt you, really. He just doesn't understand how to be gentle. He might get better with time, but he's got a predator-born ferocity, a primal roughness that will always be a part of his nature.
(yes i did research on wolf courtship/mating rituals for this bc i suffer for my art)
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m00nchild-02 · 3 years
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Miss Mafia | jhs (m)
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pairing: Hoseok x reader, Taehyung x reader (He's just a childhood friend, no love interest)
rating: 18+
word count: 15.5k sorry not sorry :)
genre: mafia au, strangers to lovers, secret agent, you are a mafia boss
summary: It's not easy to be the boss of one of the biggest mafias in South-Korea. And surely not as a woman. When a secret agent got discovered by one of your people and brought to you, you would've never dared to guess he would turn your world upside down in multiple ways.
warnings: praising, big d*ck Hoseok, oral (m receiving), hard sex, dom Hoseok, sub reader, v penetration, no protection (reader has an implant so she can't get pregnant. Make always sure you use protection guys!), also a bit of fluff at the end
music recommendations: - Lacrimosa - Mozart - Symphony no 9 - Beethoven - Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven - more songs on this playlist (youtube)
- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1yXNkU806Y7EZruvrbl4g9?si=76931ed2ebae4c2c (spotify)
a/n: Again back with a story! I'm sorry for any grammar errors. It is such a big one shot. I'll probably proof read it later so I'm again sorry for any grammar mistakes in this ff! Just ignore it please :')
I was originally thinking of making this a jungkook ff but I eventually ended up making it a J-Hope ff instead. I think he would do a great job as main character here ;) Give it a lot of support and
enjoy reading!
masterlist
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Lacrimosa from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Such a pleasant song to listen to with a good glass of wine. You take a sip of the dark red liquid as you softly move your head to the music playing through your boxes. This is how you liked to spend your time alone. A good glass of wine in one hand and the remote of your boxes in your other hand putting on some of your favourite classical music. Like Lacrimosa from Mozart or Beethoven's 9th symphony. All great composers with excellent music. You smiled as you felt your body relax after the long stressful day you had today. Your placed your red tinted lips on the glass for another sip of your wine you would never get to taste.
"Miss!"
You let out a deep sigh as you turned around in your chair towards the front of your desk. One of the maids walked inside and bowing at you. You gave her an unpleasant look. "Didn't I told the staff clearly not to come into my study for the rest of the day?" You asked the woman in front of you who kept looking down, probably not daring to look you in the eyes right now. Everyone knew you could be a real furry when you got angry or irritated. You can ask the last butler you had, after dropping a glass of whine on you by accident. It costed him a finger because you accidentally dropped a knife on his hand.
You softened the volume of the music before speaking again. "Tell me what's going on. It better be good if you don't wanna lose your job." You said coldly, don't sparing her a glance as you emptied the bottle into your glass. "I-It's about the issue from last week mam." She said. A bit of fear could be heard in her voice.
"Go on" You said. "They caught him miss." She said. You looked at the girl in front of you and suddenly began to laugh. The girl looked up for the first time, confusion all written over her little face. You turned towards the painting of your father on the right wall of the study and smiled, raising your glass. "See dad? The company is in great hands. I told you I would get him." You turned back towards the girl, that smile/smirk still on your face.
"Tell them to bring him to la grande salle. I'll be there in a minute." You told her. The maid bowed and then left the room closing the door on her way out. " You chuckled as you licked your lips. "Turns out this day is gonna be better than I expected..." You said, turning up the volume of the boxes and taking another sip of your glass of wine.
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A few minutes later and your men walked in dragging a guy with them. His hands and feet tied together, his clothes covered in bloodstains and his hair a complete mess. You leaned forward in you chair as they dropped the man right at your feed. You were currently in your grand salle, how you like to call it, where you handled business of all kinds. From having meetings, recruiting new members till having a talk with bastards like the guy in front of you right now.
"Well, well, well... What do we have here." You said, letting out a small laugh. "Jung Hoseok, isn't it? Secret agent at the National Intelligence Service. They say you're one of the best in your profession. Sad that reputation will end today." You said, leaning back in your chair, snapping your fingers as a sign for the maids to leave the room. Leaving only you, Hoseok and two of your bodyguards. You threw the papers that were in your hand onto the table next to you, the pages falling open on some pictures of Hoseok and his meetings with the NIS.
"I must admit Mister Jung, I'm quite impressed. You have been undercover in my companies for five years. My father always knew there was a spy between us but he never had the chance to catch you." You looked away, staring into the distance as you said your next sentence. "Caught a bullet right through the head. Very tragic." You looked back at the man in front of you. He was still looking down, not saying a word or sparing you a small glance. Was he even still alive? Anyways, you still went on with your little speech. "But times change. After my father's death I took over and look! It's been less than a year and I already caught you."
Suddenly Hoseok started to laugh. You looked at him confused as he slowly tilted his head so you could look at his face for the first time today. His cheeks and upper lip were bruised and a dried stream of blood could be seen under his nose. He looked you right in the eyes. "Took you long enough to figure out it was me." He said. "But congrats. I'm happy you can finally make daddy proud." He mocked, spitting some blood on the white marble floor. His words and actions made your head boil. How dare he speak so lowly about your father. The bodyguards stood read to walk over and beat the shit out of him but you raised your hand stopping them.
You took a deep breath, trying to keep your cool. "Listen here," You said, getting off of your chair, slowly walking around the men on the ground before making a halt behind him and squatting down. You pulled out a blade out of your pocket and held it against his neck as you pulled his head backwards. He let out a painful groan making you smirk. You leaned in closer towards his ear before saying the following words, "You can say anything you want Mister Jung but know the more shit comes out of your mouth the less pleasant your stay at my villa will be before I release your soul from your body, understood?" You said, your mouth dangerously close to his ear.
The man didn't seemed intimidated as he scoffed. "Bring it on Missy. Good luck with keeping me locked here." He said.
You stood back up, a bit overwhelmed by his bold words. You walked towards his front, wanting to see his face. "You got a big mouth for a guy who just has been beaten the hell out of." You said. "Maybe I should just kill you here right now. Makes it a lot easier for the both of us." You said as one of the bodyguards handed you a gun. You loaded it and pointed it towards his head.
He looked you right in the eye as you held the trigger ready to shoot. What surprised you the most was that he was smiling. Why was he smiling? This guy made you so confused. "Not the brag princess but-"
"Don't call me that!" You yelled at him with gritted teeth.
"Ok my lady." He said teasingly. "What I wanted to say is you can't kill me." He looked quite relaxed when he said that.
You scoffed. "What are you talking about? I can kill you wherever I want, whenever I want! Just watch me."
He shook his head. "Sorry to burst that bubble of yours but you can't. You see... I've been undercover for 5 whole years. I know a lot about your company and you." He said, smirking, never looking away from your eyes. "I have been in every building, every city and every warehouse of yours."
"And what's your point?" You asked, getting annoyed of his talking. "To make it short, I have placed bombs and dynamite all over the place. If you kill me you'll never get to know the password and won't be able to deactivate them. So say good bye to your drugs, weapons and men... my lady. Bye, bye money." He said before laughing again.
"And why should I believe you?" You asked. "Busan, the warehouse at Ilgon street, number 45 (a/n: I made the street name up. For people who are wondering.). Look under the floor in the janitor's closet." He said.
You heart raised and your breathing became more rapid as you looked at one of the guards. "Go check if it's true what he's saying." You told him. This couldn't be true. If that bomb was really there then he probably said the truth and there would be more. That would also mean the end of your little mafia life and your source of income. That could never happen, not in a million years. Your family has worked so had for all this and now you're finally almost at the top, yes almost, he would barge in and ruin everything. You couldn't let that happen.
You looked at the guard as he finished the call. "They just found two boxes full of dynamite in the basement under the janitor's closet." The guard confirmed what Hoseok just said. "They say there are timers placed on them. They can only be removed by password, cutting a wire would mean the end." He said.
You brought your hand to your mouth and started to bite at your nails as you paced back and forth. "How much time do we have?" You asked. "7 days, mam." The guard answered.
7 days... You had 7 days to figure out that damn password and get rid of these bombs. But would you really be able to dismantle them on time? "Get Taehyung and put him to work." You told the guard before he disappeared to go get your hacker to fix the job. "You," You said, pointing towards the other guard. Lock Mister Jung up in the basement and make sure he doesn't escape." You said. "You can just call me Hoseok my lady. No need for the formalities." He said, giving you a wink. "Oh, shut up you. You're in no position to talk right now."
He laughed. "Right now I'm in a much better position than you would think love." The man came over to Hoseok and picked him up brutally from the ground. "Good luck with finding the password!" He said, before the doors closed, leaving you all alone in the room. You hoped Taehyung would be able to find it because you weren't in the mood of talking to that asshole again.
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"Have you already found something?"
It had been 3 days since your encounter with Hoseok and him telling you about the bombs. 3 days of your hacker Taehyung trying to find a possible password to deactivate them. "I'm sorry y/n. Still nothing." Taehyung was one of the few people that could call you by your real name. You practically grew up with the boy so of course you got some kind of bound with each other.
Taehyung was typing all sorts of things on his computer while something was loading. "Whoever placed these bombs knows damn well how to use them. I can't crack into the system, nor can I track them or dismantle them without the password." He said. "Who did your father mess with?" He asked, his eyes never leaving the screen. "The secret agents agency of South-Korea." You said softly while biting on your nails again. It was a bad habit you did whenever you got stress.
Taehyung pulled at your hand so you couldn't bite on them anymore. "You should really learn how to stop doing that." He told you, looking at you for the first time after you entered the room.
You sighed. Taehyung was not successful in finding the password, the troops you sent hadn't found a single bomb yet except for the one Hoseok told you about and tracing was also out of the question. You were really losing hope. "Just keep looking." You told Taehyung before leaving him behind in his little room.
You were getting tired of all of this and decided to distract your mind a bit. And what is better then visiting your favourite casino when you are bored and stressed? So you went to your room and dressed up for a night out.
Little did you knew a surprise was waiting for you the other day...
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"Mam! Mam!"
The door of your bedroom opened, a maid running inside out of breath as she stood at your bed, bowing first before waiting for your permission for her to speak again.
You groaned as you heard the woman storming in your room. Your head pounding because of the amount you drank the evening before at the casino. You slowly opened your eyes, hand on your head, holding it because of the pain. You gave the woman an angry look. "Speak" You snapped at her.
"M-Mam, T-The prisoner! He- He-"
"He what?!" You yelled, tired of the stuttering and hesitation in her speech.
She swallowed before talking again. "He escaped..." She said softly but clear enough for you to hear.
"WHAT??!!"
You made your way down the halls of your mansion while you wrapped your bathrobe around your body. While you made your way downstairs a few of your men were running upstairs but halted once they saw you. They stared at you with wide eyes while you stood there furious looking down on them. "I'll ask you once..." You said as you slowly walked down until you were face to face with the head of the guards. "What happened?"
"We were guarding him like you asked and suddenly someone of the kitchen came to bring us food. They said it was a treat for our hard work. After we ate it... We blacked out. When we woke up again the door was open and he was gone." The man said, looking down.
You clenched your teeth and slapped him right in the face. "YOU IDIOTS! How could you let him escape! I asked one thing of you and you couldn't even do that!!" You yelled at all of them. They all looked down like puppies that were being scolded at. "You're all useless!" You said as you made your way further down the stairs. They all bowed at you one by one as you made your way down.
You took a few corners before ending up in front of Taehyung's bedroom. You knocked, not waiting for an answer, and walked in. "Taehyung I need you to check the CCTV footage of last night. That fucking agent escaped." You said pacing around in Taehyung's room while the boy sat up, sleepily rubbing his eyes. "How late is it?" He asked groggily as he looked at you with puffed cheeks, bad hair and small eyes. "It's 8 am." You told him.
He sighed. "Give me a few minutes to wake up and then I'll go check ok?" You nodded. "Ok, I'll give you 15 min. Not more." You said and you walked out.
Like promised, in 15 minutes Taehyung was already sitting behind his desk returning back to the footage of yesterday evening. You saw the images of you walking out of the house, ready to go to the casino. "You can skip past that." You told him. He skipped a bit forward until you told him to stop. "Stop! right there." You said pointing at the screen. A man with a hood and a mask on walked in the shadows towards the back of the house. Taehyung checked one of the camera's at the back and you saw the men slipping in through the back door where the kitchen is. "He must be the one who drugged the food of the guards."
"They were drugged?" He asked and you nodded. "These morons thought they got food because of their hard work." You answered him. "Now go to the footage of the basement." Taehyung did as you said and showed the images of the sleeping men and the hooded man breaking the chain, letting Hoseok out. "He must have informed someone somehow where he was." Taehyung said.
You sighed. "I need that password. I can't dismantle these bombs without him. I don't like to admit it but... I need him. I need Hoseok." Taehyung turned towards you in his seat. So what are you going to do now?
You thought for a second. Indeed, what were you going to do? You knew everyone would fall for Hoseok's tricks all over again. Except for you. You would never fall for his charms, right? "I'll go after him." You then suddenly decided. Taehyung looked at you in shock. "Are you sure?" He asked. "You got men to do the dirty work for you." He stated.
You nodded. "I know but I can't trust them anymore. Those idiots already let him escape once, I can't let them do it a second time." You told him. "Check the CCTV's of the streets and every nearby city. I need to know where he is."
"Sure will." Taehyung said before going to work again.
While Taehyung worked on tracing Hoseok's location you went towards the dining room to grab some breakfast. Because of all this drama this morning you haven't even had the time to get some food into your system. Your stomach was already growling as you sat down at the filled table, set for two. Two? You may ask. Yes two. Today was the day your second hand would come back from his yearly vacation. He was one of the most trusted men into your house.
His name was Marcus and besides being your second hand he was also your dad's best friend. He has always been by his side and helped him in any way possible. After he died Marcus swore loyal to you and said he would do anything in his might to protect you. So the least you could do for him was to treat him as one of your own show him your gratitude.
While you were peacefully enjoying your meal the doors suddenly opened, revealing a man in suit. You smiled at the man immediately recognising him. "Marcus! Welcome back." You welcomed the man as he walked over towards you. He bowed at you before sitting down at the table where you were already seated. "It feels good to be back mam." He said, smiling before taking a look at the breakfast in front of him. "Well this is sure a great come back." He told you Smith amused eyes. "Please, enjoy yourself." You said. "Take whatever you want." You told him. "I'll sure will." He answered before digging in.
"So how was your trip?" You asked him. "Pretty good. Got some time to relax." He said. "How were things going here while I was gone?" He asked you.
You sighed. "It has been an entire rollercoaster. Oh Marcus," You said dramatically. "How happy I am you're back. I have so much to tell you." After you told him everything Marcus looked at you in shock. "You finally caught him?!" He asked surprised and you nodded. "Kind of, but he escaped yesterday evening while I was gone. These idiots can't do anything right around here anymore..."
"Only if I had been here to stop all this, huh?" He said teasingly and you nodded. "You know you're the best." You told him.
You ate and talked for a good hour before Marcus decided to go see his colleges and try to lessen the damage that had already been caused by Hoseok's escape. You really hoped he could do something about all this.
That evening you also went to go see Taehyung again to check on the situation. "You already found his whereabouts?" You asked the man in front of you. He turned his chair around and smiled at you. "Even better." He said licking his lips and clicking on one single button on his keyboard a whole screen popping up full of information. "I know which city he is in, which district and even in which building!" He told you, all proud of himself.
You walked over and stared at the screen with big eyes. "Really?! You are the best Tae!" You said, wrapping your arms around him in a big hug. The man laughed. "Alright, alright! You're welcome Y/n-ie" He said as you let go again.
"God, I could kiss you right now! You bring me so good news right now!" You yelled at him and he laughed. "You're welcome and about the kiss... no thanks." He said, showing off his boxy smile afterwards. "Go find me a plain ticket for the first flight tomorrow and tell Marcus he has the leadership until I'm back. This girl is going to Busan for some business..."
"Yes mam!"
And so the next day you flew all from Seoul to Busan. You took a taxi from the airport to your hotel while checking the info about Hoseok's whereabouts on your tablet. You mailed Taehyung, telling him you had a safe flight and to thank him again for his good work. He would definitely get a raise once you got back. You smiled as you closed your tablet and looked outside as you drove past the chore. "How long until we reach the hotel sir?" You asked the driver. "We're almost there miss! Just a few more minutes." He said. "Good" You answered, opening your window a bit and closing your eyes, enjoying the fresh sea air filling the car.
After a few more minutes you finally arrived at your destination. A five star hotel Taehyung booked for you. You got out of the taxi, payed the driver and walked inside the building as some staff took your bags out of the cab. You walked towards the counter and asked for your room. Of course it was the penthouse. You knew you could trust Taehyung. He always knew what you wanted. Once you got the key you went towards the elevator and went upstairs. You already felt completely drained from the trip towards where you were now.
As you arrived you walked towards the end off the hall and opened the door with your key card. A big smile as you entered the room. "Finally some rest." You said as you stretched your neck and walked towards the bed. But as soon as you walked through the door two men grabbed you by the arms. You tried to scream and break free from their grasp but it was no use. One of them held a cloth against your mouth and nose with some chloroform on it making you stop struggling after a while and falling into a deep slumber.
While you were unconscious the men dragged you outside the room, making sure no one saw you. They took you inside the elevator where someone was already waiting for your arrival. It was the lady from the counter that gave you your room earlier. "Let's move fast. Once you get out of the elevator go immediately towards the right. Go through the last door and that should lead you towards the back of the hotel. The van is waiting there." She said. Once they got you in the van they drove off to who knows where.
A few hours later you woke up with an incredible headache, as a side effect of the chloroform. You groaned as you opened your eyes, white light shining all around you. Once your eyes got adjusted to the light that came from big windows all around you you could also make out some silhouettes. "Our little princess is finally awake." You heard a voice. The voice sounded awfully familiar. But you couldn't put a name on it just yet.
You tried to move your hands but quickly figured out they were bounded behind your back. Same went for your legs. Tied against the legs of a chair. You looked back in front of you and the silhouette stood up from his place and walked closer until it was close enough. It squatted down in front of you and now you were able to identify the person clearly. "Hoseok..?" You said with unbelief.
He smirked at you. "Good morning princess." He said smiling. "Hope you slept well." Then you noticed the pain in your neck, shoulders and lower back. How long had you been tied to this chair for? You asked yourself. "You've been out for a pretty long time." Hoseok answered before you could even ask. "I hope my men weren't too rough on you." He said letting out a chuckle and standing back up to walk back towards his chair. He picked up an envelope from next to him and gave it to the man on his left. "Here, split it between you and the other guy. You did a great job." He told the man before he left the room, leaving only you and Hoseok.
"W-Where am I?" You asked. Your voice still a bit husk. "Is this xxx street? Your hide out here in Busan after you escaped?" You asked making Hoseok only laugh.
"Oh you wish sweetheart. Busan was just a distraction to get that tech guy of yours and your men off of my tail. We're in Ulsan right now." He told you. "I must admit... Your men are good at finding me but remember, I'm always a step ahead." He said. You looked at him and scoffed. "Asshole..." You muttered under your breath. "I heard that." Hoseok answered.
"Good, glad you know." You told him. He sighed and shoved his chair a bit closer before leaning forward, his arms resting on his thighs. "Tss, even bounded to a chair you still are a furry." He said. "Do you know why I brought you here Miss y/n?" You stayed quiet, clenching your teeth. "I brought you here because I got a proposition for you."
You scoffed. "And what may that be? You're gonna turn yourself in to me and let me torture you?" You asked nonchalantly.
He shook his head and hissed. "Aish, such a beautiful face but such a dirty mouth." He said, leaning back again. "You know the Choi clan right?" He asked. You scoffed. "Of course I know the Choi clan. Who doesn't? They're the biggest mafia out here in South-Korea. My father's mafia's greatest enemy."
Hoseok nodded. "Indeed. We've been already trying for years to stop them but without success."
"And what does all this got to do with me?" You asked him, not impressed by his little talk about the Choi's.
"I need your help." He said, a serious gaze on his face. "I need you to tell us everything you know about the Choi clan and help us arrest them. There is no better view over a mafia as the view of a mafia boss itself." You looked aside, out of the window. Now only noticing you were at a house right next to some low cliffs ending at the sea. You laughed. "And what's in that for me? I can help you but you're probably gonna arrest me afterwards anyways. So why should I bother?" You looked back at him.
He nodded, following your path of thinking. "I knew you would say that. Here's the deal. You help us destroy the Choi clan and I guarantee you won't go to prison. It's that simple." He said, standing up and walking around your chair. You wanted to say something but Hoseok was first. "And I know you're gonna refuse but think for a second... You have no where to run y/n." He stood now right behind you. He leaned in closer towards your right ear. "I got bombs all over your places." Then he switched to your left ear. "And I got you, tied to chair here right now. So either you're going to help or I turn you in right now and then you can say bye bye to your little mafia life." He said.
You scoffed. You wanted to protest but you knew he was right. He had you completely in the palm of his hand. There was no escape from him. "I give you three days starting today to decide whether you're in our out. In that time," He said, cutting the rope that was holding your hands together. "You are free to stand and walk wherever you want but," He said, turing towards your front and also cutting through the ropes at your feet. "You don't go off this domain. You'll stay at the house or at least in its presence. I have guards all over this place so don't you dare escape. Cuz things won't end well if you do" He spoke lowly, standing up while you pulled your hands to your chest, rubbing your sour wrists. The skin a deep red colour from where the rope had been a while ago.
You watched as he walked towards the door at the back of the room. "I'll stay here too. Come see me whenever you made your decision. I hope you enjoy your stay here." He turned his head towards you one last time, giving you a big grin before turning back around and walking out of the room leaving you all alone.
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Already one day and one night had past and you still hadn't made your decision. You know going in on Hoseok's decision was your only option so far but you couldn't stop thinking if there maybe was another way. If your men maybe could get you out of here without Hoseok's deal involving. Should you go accept Hoseok's deal? Maybe. Where you stubborn? ... Hell yes. You don't like to lose and give in to others. So this time you also didn't want to just give into him. You couldn't. You were the boss of a big mafia! You shouldn't bow for just anyone.
That day you didn't talk to Hoseok at all. You did see each other sometimes and ate meals together but that would always be in complete silence. You expected Hoseok to annoy you but surprisingly he didn't. After lunch Hoseok left the house for the first time since you were here leaving you all alone. (The bodyguards are still there so dw, you can't escape that easy ;)).
That night when Hoseok came back he was so frustrated. You could see it at his behaviour as you were both eating dinner together at a rather late hour, you must admit. "What's wrong?" You asked. If you had to stay here for a few days you could at least make it a bit less awkward between the two of you.
Hoseok looked up at you. Surprised that you actually started a conversation with him after ignoring his existence in this house for at least 24 hours. "So you haven't lost your voice yet? That's a relief." He joked.
You sighed. "I'm serious Hoseok. What's wrong?" You tried again, trying to be as friendly as possible es hard as it was. He looked at you confused as for why you would care for him. "It's nothing you should concern about." He stated before starting to eat again.
You sighed. "Look, I know we're enemies and We both know we can't stand each other for one bit but... If I need to stay here for the few days ahead I want to make it at least a bit more comfortable for both of us. So..." You swallowed your proud and stubbornness as you said the following lines. "So, if something is wrong then please don't hesitate to come talk to me. I'm here for you ok?" You cringed at stating your own words but this was something you needed to do. Not only to make it more comfortable but also to earn Hoseok's trust. Maybe it could come in handy later on. You never know.
Hoseok nodded at your request. "I will princess." You wanted to snap at him giving you that nickname again but you quickly figured out you better shouldn't. Hoseok knew you were holding yourself in for not going all furry on him and he loved it. He loved making you all worked up and angry. Besides that fact that you were a dangerous mafia boss you were also a very pretty woman. No denying that. And seeing you all worked up and going all furry on him made him feel some kind of things.
"I'm a bit tired." Hoseok stated after a while. "I'll go get some sleep. You should do the same." He said, shoving his chair backwards and getting up from his seat. "And don't forget to think about my proposition Y/n. It's a very good and reasonable deal if you think about it throughly. I hope you can state me your decision tomorrow. But for now, goodnight." He said and then left towards his room.
After you were done eating you also left towards your room to get some good night rest. You sat onto your bed after putting on some sleep wear. You sighed as you thought about your situation. You really felt stuck. You couldn't contact anyone since you didn't have your phone. Hoseok must have hidden it when you were unconscious. your men also haven't been looking for you yet either... Did they even knew in what kind of situation you were right now? Did Tae knew? Would he be worried right now since you haven't texted him yet in these 2 days you've already gone missing?
You let out a deep sigh as questions kept filling your mind. It made you crazy! But suddenly all worries were blown away, out of your mind, as you felt two arms wrap around your frame from behind and two lips placing a delicate kiss onto your neck. Your eyes widened in shock. You quickly looked at your side only to lock eyes with someone you didn't expect.
Hoseok.
He softly smiled at you. "Hey princess." He said, smiling softly. "W-What are you doing here?!" You asked while getting out of the man's grip and standing up from the bed. Why was he here? Why did he touched you like that? Why did he acted so... sweet?
Hoseok tilted his head to the side and looked you up and down, smirking and biting his lip. "Couldn't sleep." He said.
You looked confused at him. He couldn't sleep? So why did he came here then? Out of all places why here? In your room? "So?" You said.
He let out a small chuckle and stood up from the bed, making slow steps forwards, closer to you, making you taking steps backwards until your body hit the wall. No where to run now.
Hoseok placed his hands at both sides of your head, against the wall. "Listen up my lady, I can't sleep and it seems like you can't sleep either, so what do you say about having some fun together hm?" He asked, his eyes scanning your face for some kind of reaction before resting on your perfect shaped lips. God, it drove him wild. Those delicious luscious lips...
You looked at him in shock. Was he really asking what you thought he was asking?! Was he referring to sex? "You tried to slap him in the face but he caught your hand on time and pinned it against the wall making you gasp. You must admit it was kinda hot, seeing his fast reflexes.
He pushed closer against you, one of his legs pushed between yours, his knee against your princess parts, his chest pressed against yours. You swallowed as you looked into his deep brown eyes. You could see they were filled with lust. Completely the opposite of how you both would look at each other a day ago.
God, it made you feel things... That lust filled gaze of him. And his knee, pressed against your core didn't made it any easier. "What will it be love? I don't have all night. I know we're supposed to be enemies but I remember a certain person saying we should get more comfortable around each other and that I was always welcome. Do you still remember that princess?" He asked you and you nodded. You didn't knew what was wrong with you but Hoseok's sudden dominant behaviour got the best of you.
He leaned even more closer towards you, your noses brushing against each other, his lips so close to yours and yet they didn't touch. "What do you want princess? Tell me..." He said, and with those final last words you lost it.
"You" You answered him almost immediately. Without hesitation Hoseok started to kiss you and you surrendered completely to him. You kissed him back and Hoseok let go of your hand that was still pinned against the wall. Your arms fell onto his shoulders. You pulled him closer, deepening the kiss some more, your fingers playing with the locks at the back of his hair. Hoseok bite and sucked at your bottom lip until you finally opened your mouth allowing him inside. Hoseok slipped his tongue inside and started to play with yours. You both moaned into the kiss as it got really steamy and messy. "Fuck Y/n- I didn't knew you could kiss that well." Hoseok stated, breathing heavily between kisses. You smirked. "Had lots of practise in the past i guess." You answered before he guided your leg around his hips, his mouth smashing against yours again in a hot kiss. He slapped your thigh two times, asking you to jump which you gladly did. You wrapped both of your legs around Hoseok's waist, not breaking the kiss as he takes you with him towards the bed.
When he hit the bed frame with his feet he slowly sat down, making you sit on top of his lap. You grinned against him, never breaking the kiss. Soft moans and groans coming out of both of your mouths. Hoseok let go of your lips only to wrap them around your jaw and throat. You moaned, grinding harder against him as he found your sweet spot. "Fuck Hobi-" Without you realising a cute nickname slipped out for the man under you. Hoseok stopped kissing for a while looking up at you. "What- What did you just say?" He asked, already half out of breath from your make-out session.
You blushed as you bite your lip, looking away in embarrassment. Hoseok took a hold of your chin and made you look at him again. "Hey, Look at me while I'm talking. Now answer me princess." He said. "What did you just call me." It sounded more like an order now then a question.
"H-Hobi..." You said quietly. It was quiet for a second. Hoseok just stared at you as he took in your words. Then he suddenly grinned, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. "Cute..." You could hear him whisper under his breath before he pecked your lips. Then he went down again, kissing and napping at your sweet spot. You were sure it was going to leave a bruise later on but right now you didn't mind. Your brain was a haze, your body felt hot and you were so wet down there.
His hands kept roaming your body. From caressing your back to gripping your hips, to grind you more and harder against him, grouping your ass and so on. His hands found their way under you shirt and he pushed it up to get it off of you. You helped him getting it off making him stare at your red laced bra afterwards holding onto your breasts.
He grouped them into his hands, squeezing them softly while you just watched. You knew you shouldn't love all this right now and you knew you surely shouldn't do it with him but you couldn't resist it. And besides, it had been so long since you've had dick. And from what you could feel in his pants right now he got one on the larger size.
You bite your lip as you looked at him getting one breast out of your bra, his thumb caressing over the little but making you whimper. He looked at you, giving you a lazy smirk before he attached his mouth to your breast. He let his tongue roll over your nipple, now and then sucking on it, making them go even harder. His other hand still working on your other breast before he switched sides. Now your left nipple in his mouth and his fingers playing and pinching the other one. While he was busy sucking your tits he unbuckled your bra, making it fall onto your lap. You slept your arms out of the straps and threw it aside.
When you turned your head back towards him his lips met yours again in a quick but deep kiss. "Now love... It has been so long since I've had a woman so close to me. So what would you say of making me feel your mouth, huh? Would you do that for me princess?" He said, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip before slipping onto your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it and started to suck on his finger. It may look strange but it kinda comforted you, making you feel smaller and wanting to submit more to him. Letting him take full control.
You nodded as an answer and smiled, getting his thumb out of your mouth. "Now," he said. "Get on your knees love."
He pulled down his pants and boxers as you sat down on the floor, his dick springing free standing tall and red. He was so ready for you. You licked your lips before kissing his length. Starting at the bottom and making your way towards his already leaking top. When you got at the top you started to take him inside of you, making him groan as you suck on his tip, your tongue rolling over the little slit. "Fuck-, that feels so good princess. Keep going." He said, closing his eyes and putting his hand behind him leaning on his strong arms as he felt his body melt under your touch. After teasing the tip for a while you tried to slowly bob your head up and down, every time when you're going down taking an inch more into your mouth until you couldn't anymore. The part that didn't fit into your mouth you stimulated with your hand, moving it up and down in a steady motion with your head.
Hoseok grasped onto your hair out of pleasure, pulling it softly and getting it out of your face. He wanted to see your face while you pleasured him so well. You were such a good girl for him. So good... He never expected for you to go in on his proposal of having a one night stand for tonight but he loved how turned on you got from him and how submissive you got after you acted like such a brat earlier. He liked to get you worked up and make you go all furry to him but having you now submit to him did something to him. He had been watching you for already so long and now he had you for him alone he couldn't drop the chance and just rushed to your room.
Hoseok felt himself getting close as you went bit faster, your droll already rolling over his dick and towards his balls, your eyes getting teary but you didn't cry. "I'm close baby." He told you. "I'ma cum in your warm little mouth and you're gonna swallow it all. You're my good girl after all, isn't it?" He asked and you nodded.
You loved to be a brat but for some reason hearing Hoseok call you a good girl made you want to please him in all kind of ways. You wanted to be his good girl and his only. You loved his small praises, the cute nicknames he gave you and that irresistible smirk of him whenever you did something he loved or when he had a little plan up in that head of his. In other words he made you go crazy for him.
A few more thrusts and he finally came, tinting the walls of your mouth white. And just like he asked you, you swallowed it all, showing him afterwards. "Good girl. Did so well princess." He praised you again and you smiled up at him as he held your chin, pulling you back up.
He sat you back on his lap and kissed your lips, tasting himself before flipping you over onto your back, on top of the soft mattress. You gasp as he does so.
He grins and hovers over you, ghosting his lips over yours for a while making you hungry for more until he finally kissed you again. He kissed over your jaw and behind your ear. "Princess, I want you to turn around for me." He whispered before biting your ear playfully and getting up so you could turn around for him. You did as he said and turned around now laying on your stomach. He slowly looked you up and down, his hand gliding over your half naked body until he stops at your ass. He helps you out of your pants and panties, throwing them aside. After that he also gets off his remaining clothes before hovering over you again, leaving soft kisses on your shoulders. You whimpered as you felt his hard dick poking your asscheeks. You had been so wet this whole time. Your pussy was craving for some attention.
Hoseok chuckled deeply as he felt you grind against him. "Such a slut for me princess. Your body is just begging me to get touched." He said making you whimper a second time.
But luckily you didn't have to wait long or his full length was already inside you. You moaned as he filled you up so well. "Fuck-" Hoseok breathed out. Because you were already so wet for him he slipped right in and he didn't expected that. But it wasn't like you were to loose. You still felt so tight. It was like your little cunt was just made for him.
He pulled it out before pushing it back in, making you both moan simultaneously this time. You both felt so good. No words to describe it.
When Hoseok started to move for real this time he didn't hold back. He didn't really wait for you to adjust to him (not that you needed to) and started to thrust at an already rapid pace. Moans and groans filled the room as Hoseok was ramming into your pussy like crazy. Right now you felt like you were on cloud nine and on Hoseok's side it was just the same. You both had no thoughts at that moment, the only thing on your minds is how good the other's body felt against your own.
After a short while you felt that familiar knot in your stomach. Meaning you were close. Hoseok could feel it at how tight your pussy became. Sometimes pulsating, driving him crazy. "I-I'm c-close-" You said to him between moans and heavy breaths.
As you told him that he suddenly seemed to stop making your groan and whimper. "Hoseooookkkk-" You were whining, not liking his warm flesh leaving you wet and aching hole. But before anything else he flipped you around and pushed back in. You moaned.
"Want to see your face." He said. "Wanna see how good I make you feel." He stated before slowly starting to trust again, his eyes never leaving your face, taking in every detail, every new expression that took place on that oh so beautiful face. He speed up a bit, seeing your expression change again and hearing your moans getting louder. Like before you ached around him, getting tighter and tighter as that wave of pleasure came back, bringing you close to pure ecstasy. "Cum for me sweetheart." Hoseok said as he felt himself getting close as well.
As like his words were the magic spell your body was waiting to hear you both came undone, Hoseok's mouth devouring yours again, muffling your moans as you came. You both stayed in that position for a while, your lips still attached against each other as Hoseok spilled his load inside of you until his dick softened down again and slipped out. You whimpered at the loss.
Hoseok gave you a last peck on the lips before getting off of you and laying on his back beside you, staring up at the ceiling. "That... Was amazing." He said out of breath. You laughed and nodded. "That was indeed." You answered him. "It has been so long since I had such good sex." You admitted. "Me too, princess. Me too..."
"You're on the pill, right?" Hoseok suddenly asked, turning his head towards you. "Why you asking?" "Well, we didn't use a condom. I hope you don't mind." Hoseok said, blushing a bit and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. How was this the man the one that ever took control over you a while ago?
"I don't take the pill but I got a spiral implanted. So no need to worry about getting me pregnant." You told him. He nodded and then stared back at the ceiling. He suddenly laughed. "What?" You asked turning towards him. He shook his head. "Was just thinking of something.." "Tell me." He played on his side and looked at you. "You know what they say about keep your friends close and your enemies closer?" He asked, a playful smile on his face. "Well I think this way we're definitely keeping our enemies closer." He winked at you and you scoffed, a little smile creeping through.
And that's how you both ended up talked a bit that night until you felt your body getting tired and just fell asleep.
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Opening your eyes the next morning it seems you were the first one awake. You tossed around and laid on your other side facing the still fast asleep man next to you. You smiled as he looked so soft while sleeping. So... harmless. You smiled as you looked at him, admiring his cute, puffy face he made while sleeping. How could anyone want to hurt this man?
You shook your head. Did- Did I just think that?! You asked yourself. Get him out of your head Y/n! He's supposed to be your enemy! You told yourself. But yesterday night was just so... You bite your lip as you thought back about yesterday night. Maybe... Just maybe you could trust this man for once. Maybe it was ok to let go for just a little while.
You thought back about his proposition. You didn't knew if yesterday night was one of his plans to get you to follow him into his idea or not but this morning you finally made your decision. You were gonna take Hoseok's offer. It's not like you had any other plans, right?
Before you knew it the men next to you woke up and when he saw you were awake he smiled, closing his eyes and yawning, stretching his muscular arms. "Morning.." He said softly in his deep morning voice. God, you were such a simp for that voice from now on. "Morning." You answered him. You got a bit shocked as the boy leaned in and softly pecked your lips.
Hoseok looked at your shocked face and let out a small giggle before turning onto his back and looking up at the ceiling taking a deep breath. "Last night was... amazing." He said. You nodded but of course he couldn't see it so you answered him afterwards. "Yeah.." You said softly. "Hoseok?" You asked and he turned his face sideways so he could see you, a soft smile plastered onto his face. "Please call me Hobi." He said. You blushed as you remembered you accidentally calling him that last night.
You gave him a small awkward smile and a soft nod. "H-Hobi?" You tried again. "What is it angel?" He asked. Angel... Well that was a new nickname to add to the list. He hadn't called you angel before. You kinda liked it... Stop it! Stop thinking about it Y/n! You internally sighed. Why did he made you feel like this??
"Y/n?" Hoseok called out your name as he saw you were caught in thoughts all of a sudden. "Huh?" You said as you heard his voice. "Oh.." You looked at him and bite your lip before deciding to be bold and sit a bit up. One hand holding you up and one softly wrapped around Hoseok's naked chest under the blanket. You softly let your fingers glide over the warm skin. "I just wanna say... I'm in." You told him, not really wanna admit it but your heart said it was the only right thing to do and your brain said it was the only option to do.
Hoseok looked at you a bit confused before understanding it. "You're for real?" He asked shocked and you nodded. "I will help you catch the Choi's. I already kinda know how too I think..." You said. You looked up at him and Hoseok was smiling at you. He softly started to pet your head. "You made the right decision. I'm glad you decided to cooperate." You don't know why but hearing Hoseok saying you did well made you feel all giddily and good around him. And on top of that the pats he was giving you... You felt like you were in heaven. You may look and sometimes act like a real bitch, well- actually most of the time-, but somewhere inside there you were just a soft girl.
Hoseok let out a deep breath getting you both out of your silent trance you both seemed to be in. "We should go get some clothes on and then we can discuss further details." He said and you nodded, unwrapping your arm from around him and laying back down so he could get up.
Once you both showered and were fully dressed again you sat together at the table to discuss your plan. "So, you said you had something in mind right?" Hoseok asked and you nodded. "Tell me."
"Well," You started off. "You probably already know Mr Choi has two daughters" Hoseok nodded. "but did you knew he also had a son?" You asked and Hoseok looked at you confused. "We've been through those files multiple times. He had a son. He died 10 years ago." Hoseok said, grabbing the file and showing you.
You smirked and shook your head. "That's the part he made you guys see. The rumour goes that he's still alive." You said and Hoseok looked at you in shock. "How is that possible?"
You grinned. "I don't know either but apparently he is. About this... there is good and bad news. What you wanna hear first?" You asked Hoseok. "Good first." He answered.
"Very well then. The good news is, they guy should be in Korea. Multiple people keep saying he's still here and have seen him. It has also been confirmed with pictures. Now the bad news... We have no idea how he looks like. We have witnesses but no descriptions or clear pics of his face."
"So he could be anyone..." Hoseok said and you nodded. "Exactly." "And what has this son to do with getting the Choi's?" Hoseok suddenly asked.
"Well, get the son and you get to the father! People say they still see each other once a year. You said you couldn't get your hands onto Mr Choi? Well he's your chance." You said.
Hoseok seemed lost in thoughts as he looked at the documents in front of him. "But how are we going to find him?" He asked. "There live thousands of people here in Korea." He stated.
You smirked. "I got the perfect solution for that."
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A few hours of convincing Hoseok and taking a plain back to Seoul and you were standing again at your own house. More specifically, Taehyung's workspace. "So you are sure this guy can find Choi's son?" Hoseok asked you for the already umpteenth time. You sighed. "For the last time Hope, Taehyung is the best. This guy here gets everything done." You said earning a grin from Taehyung himself who was seated at his usual place, behind his computers. "Well, thanks for the compliment Y/n." He said. "And Hoseok, don't worry. I'll find this guy. It's not because you failed that I will." He gave Hoseok a quick wink making him scoff.
How does he even has the audacity. Hoseok thought. "Good luck man." Hoseok said before walking out of the room with you, leaving Taehyung alone to do his job.
"So what do we do in the meanwhile?" Hoseok asked you. "We just relax a bit. There's not much we can do anyways." You told him. And before you knew it you had let him to your bedroom. (Not for what you think you pervs out there.😏 It's not always about sex.)
You sat down on your bed as Hoseok admired your room, standing still at some pictures. "Is that you?" He asked, holding up one in particular. You smiled and nodded, thinking back about old good memories. "That's me and my mom." You said as you thought back about her. Her soft hands, her warm smile. You missed her a lot. "What happened to her?" Hoseok asked; like he could read you expression. "Cancer..." You answered. "Dad was so broken after she died." You looked up from the picture at Hoseok again, giving him a sad smile. "It's not because we are feared mafia's that we don't know what true love is. What mom and dad had... Was something special. They really loved each other." You said.
Hoseok put the picture back down and walked over to you, sitting down next to you and holding your fragile frame. "I wish she was still here. She was a wonderful woman." You said as Hoseok softly caressed your head. "She told me I should always follow my heart."
Hoseok pulled back from the embrace and gave you a small reassuring smile. You don't know why but your body seemed to react on it and you started to smile back at him. You didn't knew how you became from being enemies only a few days ago to feeling so close to him now but it felt good and you kinda didn't want to let go of that feeling.
Hoseok put a strand of hair behind your face before speaking. "Y/n, what would you think of getting out of this... mafia live of yours? Just start a new life, a better one. Maybe even go start a family." He said.
You laughed ad shook your head. "I can't do that... I maybe had a choice as a kid but after my father died and I took over... I can't just leave like that. And besides... Some people here are like family to me. I can't just leave them." You told him.
"What if you could?"
Before you could answer him, the door to your bedroom opened. "Boss! I didn't knew you were already back and oh- You found him?! Do I need to get the guards?" Marcus asked after storming in.
You smiled and turned towards Marcus. "No need Marcus. It's alright. I made a deal with Mr Jung here so from now on he won't be our prisoner anymore. He will be our guest. And besides, I already told you to just call me by your name. You're not just anyone Marcus. You were my father's friend. So please be comfortable and just see me as a friend too." You said, earning a smile back from him. "Sure Y/n. Do you guys need anything?" He asked and you shook your head. "Not really but thank you Marcus. I'll see you later downstairs." You told him and with that he left your room again.
"Marcus?" Hoseok asked and you turned back to him. You nodded. "My father saved him a few years ago when I was still a kid. Since then he had been my father's most trusted man and also his friend. After he died he swore to protect his family no matter what. So that's how he became my wing man now." You told him and Hoseok nodded. "I see.."
You sighed and stood up. "Well... I should go downstairs now. Marcus is probably waiting for me. You can stay here until I come back our just room around a bit in the house. Whatever you like." You told him and he nodded. "see you later Hobi!" You said with a smile as you walked towards the door. Hoseok smiled back, even happier as he heard you used the little nickname again. "See you later." He said before you finally walked out of the door.
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"Ok... explain to me Y/n why that guy is just randomly relaxing in your room?" Marcus asked you once you were both sitting downstairs on the sofa. "Well Marcus, Like I told you, I made a deal with Mr. Jung." "Are you crazy?!" Marcus yelled. "That's like making a deal with the devil!"
"Calm down!" You yelled back at him, making him shut his mouth and sit back down. "Now let me explain." You d-said, fixing your hair. "When I was in Busan I bumped into Hoseok like planned. We... had a little encounter afterwards." You said, thinking back about how he kidnapped you but afterwards how he could pleasure you so well. You swallowed, stopping your thoughts and licking your dry lips. "Then Hoseok came with a proposition. His agency is after the Choi's. Even more then after us. He promised if we helped he would leave us alone afterwards." You explained to the man in front of you.
"And what makes you think he's speaking the truth?" Marcus asked you. You stared into the distance, a small smile forming onto your mouth. "I believe Hobi." You said.
Marcus looked at you with questionable eyes. "H-hobi?" He asked. You swallowed, eyes in shock. Did you just said that out loud?! You looked at Marcus. "I-" How were you going to explain this? "What happened back in Busan?" Marcus asked. "Nothing just-... I was tired of him giving me those little nicknames so I gave him one to annoy him too! Yeah! That's it." You said, a nervous giggle afterwards. You hoped he didn't suspected anything.
Marcus nodded. "Alright then.." He said, dropping the topic. "And besides, Imagine. For so long the Choi's have been at the top of Korea's mafia. Once they're down we're the new number one. We'll finally stand at the top Marcus! How wonderful is that!" You told him enthusiastic. Marcus nodded. "That's... Indeed great!" You frowned your eyebrows. You expected Marcus to be the most enthusiastic out of the two of you. "Is everything alright?" You asked him.
He cleared his throat. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. I was just worried about you. What if something happens to you. I still can't trust that Hoseok guy." He said. You gave him a soft smile, placing your hand on top of his. "Don't worry Marcus. I got this." And with that you stood up and walked out. "By the way Marcus," You said, turning around one last time. "Can you go check how Taehyung's work is going and give me an update on it? It's quite important and I only trust you with it." You told him. He nodded. "Of course. I'll go check right away boss!"
When you came back to your room you were surprised that Hoseok was still there. It was like he never left. "I thought you would've already went off to go explore the place." You said as you walked in. Hoseok looked up at you. "Neah, not really. I rather stay here. It's quiet here." He said, laying back onto the bed.
You went to sit at the edge of the bed and looked outside the big window in your room. Suddenly you felt Hoseok's hand grabbing yours and to Hoseok's surprise you laced your fingers with his. He smiled, looking at your face as it looked beautiful to him with the current lighting coming from your windows. You hair already got a bit messy from walking around all over the place all day. You may have been a target for him at first but right now, the only thing he could think about calling you was his angel. That's how you looked in Hoseok's eyes like an angel still trapped into the claws of the devil... The mafia. If he only could get you out of this life and give you a better one. "Leave this place with me tonight."
You turned your head towards Hoseok as these words came out of his mouth. "What?" "You heard me." Hoseok said, sitting back up and sitting a bit closer towards you. "Leave this place with me. Y/n, I can see this is no life for you... I promise I can give you a better one." Hoseok said, looking deep into your eyes. You suddenly felt all naked, like Hoseok could look right through you and into your soul. It's not like you loved the mafia but it also wasn't like you hated it.
"How...?" You quietly asked. "I already told you it's not that easy..." You said, looking down at your still intertwined hands. "Let's just leave this place tonight. No one will know. And we'll see what happens afterwards." Hoseok pushed your chin back up with his free hand. "Look at me Y/n. Do you trust me?" Hoseok asked.
You thought for a second, nervously chewing on your lip. Eventually you nodded your head. You knew you couldn't deny anymore what was happening between you and Hoseok. You knew it all went quick but there was just this sparkle between you and from today on you couldn't unseen it anymore.
Hoseok smiled at your response. "Good. So please Y/n, please come with me." He said, leaning in closer and delicately kissing your lips. You nodded. "A-alright. Let's get out of here tonight. But... I can't leave Taehyung here behind. I need him to go with us. He's my best friend Hope... We grew up together."
Hoseok looked you into the eyes while playing with your hand. "You're sure you can trust him enough to let him come with us?" He asked and you nodded. "I'm a hundred percent sure of it." Hoseok nodded. "Ok then. Go tell him. We'll leave at 3am. Everyone should be asleep by then."
And so as planned you went to speak to Taehyung. You told him the plan and of course he supported you in your decision. He was glad you asked him to go with you. He joked around saying' if Hoseok didn't take you away from here I would'. You laughed at him but then he started to question you about Hoseok and then the blushing and stuttering came. Of course, as the good friends you are, you told him about how you felt something towards the boy but wasn't quiet sure jet but it just felt right. As last you also talked about who the son of the Choi's could be but Taehyung only said it was difficult and he didn't knew yet.
After your little chat with Taehyung and bumping into Marcus inside the hall you were finally back in your room, making everything ready together with Hoseok. "Go get some rest Y/n." Hoseok said, packing the last of your things. You didn't intended to take much with you but no matter what Hoseok insisted he would help you pack. With the small bag finally packed you lay down onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. You heard Hoseok close the zipper of the back before feeling the mantras getting heavy next to you. "I am surprised I'm doing this... A few days ago I wouldn't even have thought of escaping this life. I was so focused on making my parents proud..." You said before scooping a bit closer towards Hoseok, resting your head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around you. "No matter what you do, I think your parents will always be proud of you Y/n. Now go sleep. You got a few hours." He said, kissing the top of your head.
"Goodnight Hope."
"Goodnight Y/n."
While you slept Hoseok didn't close an eye. He stayed awake all night, staring at you and also keeping the guard. He knew it may be foolish of him but there was someone in this house Hoseok didn't trust. And that was Marcus. Marcus had always been a strange figure in Hoseok's eyes and today it only got worse.
Hoseok lied to you when you asked him if he stayed in your room the whole time you were gone. In fact, Hoseok went to look for Taehyung. He had something in mind and the only one that could confirm it was him.
"Taehyung, can you look into someone for me?" Hoseok asked as he walked into Taehyung's office. "Who do you need me to look for?" The guy asked, looking at him from behind his desk. "I want you to get some research done on that Marcus guy."
Taehyung looked at him in shock. "Marcus? Why?" He asked, genuinely confused. "I don't trust him at all and I need to confirm something..." Hoseok said, standing behind Taehyung, looking at the screens.
"Marcus has been friends with Y/n's father for so long. Why wouldn't you trust him?" Taehyung said. "You don't think that-" Taehyung broke his own sentence into a silence as he finally understood what Hoseok was looking for. Hoseok nodded. "I think he's our man."
And just like he had thought Taehyung confirmed it that evening. Marcus was indeed the person you guys had been looking for. He was the son of the one and only Mr. Choi. But what would the son of a filthy rich mafia boss do in their enemies house? Hoseok could only think of one thing...
Then a bullet shot through the window and got caught by the opposite wall. Hoseok shook you awake. "Y/n wake up! Plans have changed, we need to go now!" You immediately woke up and you both stood up from the bed, only to hear another two gunshots. You both quickly laid flat on the ground. "W-what is that?" You asked, still halve asleep and confused. "They're here to kill you Y/n."
"What?!" You asked confused. "Who would possibly want to kill me?!" Again shots and Hoseok pulled you with him inside your closet. No windows there so the shutters don't know where to shoot anymore. Then a door opened giving you the answer to your question. "Well, hello hello!"
You looked at Hoseok in shock recognising the voice. Was that Marcus?! Hoseok put his finger in front of his lips telling you to not make any noise.
"Where are you little princess? I know you're somewhere in here~" Marcus said as you heard him walk around the room. "I know your lover boy is with you too." He said.
"You know... I wished things would've gone other ways but you just leave me no choice Y/n. You're just like your father." He said before shooting at the ceiling, making you jump a bit.
But what did he mean, just like your father? "You know the day your father died... It was my doing. He tried to escape too and just like you now, he left me no choice but to kill him right there and then."
You placed your hand over your mouth in shock. Your body was trembling while tears were threatening to leave your eyes. Marcus killed your father? But why would he ever do that? They were like best friends. Hoseok took your trembling body in his arms, shushing you quietly while he was eagerly looking for a way out of here.
Marcus started to speak again. "I know you're probably wondering... 'Oh why did you kill my daddy Marcus? Weren't you like best friends?' " Marcus said, trying to imitate your voice. "Well dear, It may look like we were friends but I am his worst nightmare. Your worst nightmare!" You heard him push a closet on the ground, making a hella loud noice. "You know who I am Y/n? Why doesn't Hoseok tell you, huh?" You looked at Hoseok confused. What would he know you didn't? "I am Marcus Choi. The son of the biggest, most feared mafia boss." Then a maniac laughter could be heard from him. "Wasn't it a great idea from me to infiltrate your little mafia and bring it down? After the accident happened everyone thought I died but I didn't, what caused me to be in the most ideal position. I thought when your father died I finally made an end to the Lee's but then you showed up from your house in the US and took over!" This time a vase could be heard shattering onto the ground. "Of course daddy's little girl had to take over business! Now where are you Y/n! Cut the crab and come out already!" Marcus yelled.
Hoseok slammed the door open as on clue and run with you towards the door as Marcus tried to shoot at the both of you. Luckly no bullet caught you. Or so you thought... "Hoseok! Your shoulder!" You said while you were running through the halls. "I'm alright. We need to get to Taehyung first to warn him and then get the hell out of here." He said. You looked at his shoulder and let go of his hand. "You'll need your hand to put pressure on that wound." You said.
"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BITCH!!"
You quickly opened the door and ran into Taehyung's room as you heard Marcus yell from upstairs. "Taehyung!" You yelled as you run towards him and hugged him. He hugged you back. "I heard gunshots, what's happening?" He asked, letting go of you. Then he looked at Hoseok and his arm that was covered in blood. "Fuck that looks bad..." He said. "Is it Marcus?!" He asked and Hoseok nodded. "He somehow must have heard us talking about escaping. We need to go now."
"COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!"
Marcus voice could be heard closer and closer. "He's getting near." You said. The panic could be seen in your eyes as you looked at the two boys. "You two need to get out of here as fast as possible." Taehyung said. "And what about you?!" You asked and he gave you a soft smile. "We can't escape with all of us. Marcus knows this place too well. He'll catch onto us in no time. You go and I'll distract him."
"But what if he hurts you like he did to Hoseok?!" You asked concerned. "Don't worry about me Y/n. I'll be alright. I always am in the end. Just trust me ok?" Leave the house and I'll make sure you escape safely." He said.
"He's right Y/n. We got to go now." Hoseok said as he pulled at your arm. You gave Taehyung one last glance. He smiled and nodded, like he was saying 'it's alright. It's all gonna be fine.' And so you trusted him on that and left with Hoseok through the front door.
"THERE YOU ARE!" Marcus yelled from the top of the stairs aiming his gun towards you but shot into the door because Hoseok could close it on time. A tear left your eye as you thought of Taehyung being inside there with that maniac. You were so scared of what Marcus could do to Taehyung. Then you saw the house go into lockdown. You knew this was Taehyung's doing and it was also a sign for you and Hoseok to leave.
"Where are your cars Y/n?" Hoseok asked. "Right there, behind that corner." you told him as you both ran towards the garages. You opened one and got inside the car as fast as possible, Hoseok behind the steering wheel. "Buckle up!" He said and then started the engine. But before you could ride away a shot was heard. You both looked at the side, it was Marcus. Somehow he managed to escape the house and he just shot one of your tiers. This was no good. "You both looked at him in shock as he aimed the gun towards you two again. Fear in both of your eyes this time as you had no where to run to now. You were so scared knowing this could be your last moment.
You still had so many things you wanted to do. You want to stop this mafia shit, make more times to spend with friends and family and most important of all, start a new better life with the one you loved... Hoseok. As you were so concentrated you didn't saw Taehyung stumble out of the house all beaten up by the hooligan in front of you.
You closed your eyes in fear of what would come and then it finally came. Two gunshots could be heard.
...But strangely they never reached you nor Hoseok. You opened your eyes again and saw Marcus coughing up blood before falling down onto the floor. Someone had shot him. Then from everywhere around the building and bushes men with guns appeared. Hoseok rushed out of the car and towards the men. You looked at your saviours in shock as Hoseok talked to them about something. Two persons went to check on the corps while Hoseok looked back and forth between you and then one he was taking to.
You decided to get out of the car as well and with small steps you walked towards Hoseok. He gave you a soft smile and then took you into a tight hug. "It's alright. It's all over now." He shushed you while caressing your hair as you cried into his chest from the chock and all the stress you had been going through tonight.
"Who is this Seok?" The man that was standing with Hoseok earlier asked. "This is Y/n. She was one of the people captured here by Marcus." Hoseok said. "I see... Can you both come testify one by one in a while?" The man asked. "Sheff, can we do it together? I don't think she's in a state to handle this on her own now." Hoseok stated and the guy nodded. "I give you 15min to calm down a bit. Come inside afterwards.
Once the guy left Hoseok let go off you and took a step back to look at you. "It's alright. Just take some deep breaths." You did as Hoseok said and it calmed you down a bit. "Now, I want you to let me speak when we get inside for the interrogation. If they know you're the boss of this whole mafia you hang." "They will put me in prison?!" You asked in shock and Hoseok shock his head. "No, no, no. I won't let that ever happen princess. Just let me do the talking and everything will be alright, ok?" He said and you nodded. "Ok.." "Good."
"Now... How did all these men come here?" You asked, confused on how Hoseok's men suddenly found your house. "I called them in. When you were talking to Marcus I went to Taehyung to search a bit more information about the man."
"You already knew... You didn't trusted him from the start." You said and Hoseok nodded. "I didn't trusted him indeed but I didn't knew. Well... I wasn't sure yet. So that's why I needed proof. Thanks to Taehyung's help I got it. I contacted my boss afterwards. I told them my location and everything they needed to know. My plan was to get you out first so they could storm in and clear this mess without you having to worry about it. I didn't knew he would come and try to kill you first..." Hoseok said, looking down. "I wanted to capture him to get to the Choi's as originally planned but then the shots and he tried to murder you and-"
"ssh," You said, placing your hands on both of Hoseok's cheeks. He looked up at you and you placed your forehead carefully against his. He calmed down a bit, taking a deep breath. "I'm here Hope. I'm right here. I'm still alive thanks to you. You did good by calling your troops here. Thank you for saving me." You said, smiling at him and he smiled back.
You took a deep breath yourself before both going inside for your interrogation. Like you discussed earlier outside Hoseok did the talking. He had to lie a bit for that but it was necessary to not get you in prison. He told them Marcus killed your dad and captured you afterwards. He told them Marcus took over and then caught him too. When you tried to escape today Marcus tried to kill you both and then the troops came in. That's the story Hoseok told the police. "Can you confirm this Ms. Lee?" The agent interrogating you asked. You nodded. "Yes it is. I have been captured by that battered for years until Hoseok finally came and saved me." You said, Hoseok squeezing your hand under the table as if wanting to tell you 'good job'.
After all that happened that day you still had to find a good story for Taehyung. After that was all done and Taehyung was completely healed again you and Hoseok decided to live together. Taehyung was so happy for the both of you. The only thing he ever wanted was to see his best friend happy and now he knew you finally were.
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"Guess who?"
You laughed as you knew who these hands and voice belonged too. "Hoseok, we're the only one in the house right now. Of course it's you." You said giggling. It had been a year since what happened with Marcus and right now you were living happily with Hoseok in a villa at the beautiful coast of Italy.
Hoseok took his hands from around your eyes and went to sit next to your legs onto the sunbed you were currently on. You put off your sunglasses and looked at the man in front of you as he leaned in closer for a kiss. For the ones asking, yes you and Hoseok were a pair. A month after everything that happened and after recovering from the chock for a while Hoseok finally asked you to be his and without hesitating you said yes. And so you now both lived happily in each other's presence.
"I got a surprise for you." Hoseok said, pulling back from the kiss and smiling at you. He then pulled an envelope from behind his back. "What is that?" You asked. "Open it." He said, giving you the envelope. You opened it and pulled out two tickets for... "The opera? Is this real?!" Hoseok smiled and nodded. You wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so so so muchhhh!!" You said while hugging him happily. In that year of living together Hoseok slowly dithered out your love for opera and classical music so one day when he sat behind his computer he decided to get you a little present. "See it as an early birthday gift." Hoseok said as you let go of him and kissed him full on the lips. He laughed as he kissed you back, loving to see you so happy.
"It's tonight so I suggest you go pick a nice dress to wear because I know if I don't tell you now you'll take ages." You playfully hit his chest while he laughed. "It's true tho! Now go get ready, we leave at 6." He said. You stood up and got a smack onto your ass. "Yah-" You turned around and looked at him. He smiled and just put on his sunglasses laying down onto the sunned you payed on earlier, smirk on his face. "Go get ready! The longer you take the later it will get."
Once you and Hoseok were ready it was indeed almost time. "Told you, you always take a long time in the bathroom." Hoseok said, kissing your naked shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He checked you out through the mirror in front of you. "You look beautiful in that red off shoulder dress." He said and you smiled at him, kissing his cheek. "Thanks love. You don't look that bad yourself in that black suit with red tie." You turned around and playfully pulled on his tie, pulling him closer so you could kiss his lips. He kissed back, pushing you a bit backwards against the sink of your bathroom. "We should stop now or we won't even make it to the opera." Hoseok said, pulling away from you.
He did a step backwards and reached his arm towards you. "My lady," He said playfully. You laughed and wrapped your arm around his as you both walked out of the house and towards the car.
Once in the opera house Hoseok saw that sparkle in your eyes and it filled him with love and admiration for you. You looked so happy and it made him happy too. "Look how beautiful and classy it looks here! Wah." You said as you walked towards the giant stairs. "Did you knew that 'common people' always needed to sit at the low levels and that the rich sat at their private balcony? Until now it are still the most expansive places in the house." You told him, already walking towards the door that lead you towards the lower levels assuming your seats were there.
"Where do you think you're going?" Hoseok asked, pulling you back. "I'm going towards our seats?" You said questionable. "What else?"
Hoseok pulled you with him and onto the stairs. "Hoseok-" You said, looking at him in disbelieve while he pulled you with him up the stairs. "My princess only deserves the best." He said, kissing the top of your head before walking further through the hall on the second floor.
He opened a door with Hoseok's name written on and just like in every opera house there was your private balcony. "You really paid for all of this?!" You asked surprised while walking onto the small balcony, looking down at the podium a bit further. Hoseok went to stand behind you and held you as he admired the opera house with you.
You really were surprised at how he managed to pay for this. After leaving the mafia you of course also had to leave all the money behind. Mafia wasn't really legal so the money went towards the government who would do it's thing with it. You were already shocked at him Hoseok managed to buy the villa in Italy you were currently living in and now these expensive opera tickets?
"My job pays quite well Y/n. I think you sometimes underestimate my job as a secret agent love." He said, kissing your nape before letting go of you and sitting down in one of the chairs. "Come sit with me love." You went to sit down and as if on clue the lights dimmed and the show started.
"This was so good Hoseok! I loved it so much!" You said enthusiastically. The whole car it back home you couldn't stop talking about everything that evening. From the beautiful building to the lovely voice of the sopranos. He felt like he just took a little girl towards Disneyland, mesmerised by the many fairytales around her. That's how it felt with you right now. "Cute..." He mumbled as he opened the door for you.
Once you walked inside you saw something you didn't expected. The floor was covered with rose petals and on every closet or chair were cadges lighting the way towards the living room. You turned around towards Hoseok in shock. "Did- Did you do all this?" You asked him and he gave you a bright smile nodding. "I hope you like it." He said and you nodded. "Are you kidding?! I love it! Hope... You're so sweet." You said, a tear leaving your eyes.
Hoseok wrapped you in your arms letting out a soft chuckle. "Oh baby, don't cry now." He wipes the tear away that fell out of your eye. "This is supposed to be a happy day." He told you. You smiled through your tears. "It's just that- You're just so sweet Hobi, you're amazing and so kind and caring towards me. I can't help it." You said.
Hoseok softly kissed your lips. "It's alright love. I like doing cute and sweet stuff for you. Seeing you happy makes me happy. You know that. The only thing I want is for you to feel loved." He said. He turned you around, holding your hand. "Now go walk a bit further. I got another surprise for you." You gave him a questionable look before walking further.
"T-Taehyung?!" You run towards him and unfolded him into a tight hug. "You're here. You're really here!" When you left Korea Taehyung didn't. He decided to stay, going back to his family and live there for a while, while he would try finding a new job. You thought you would never see him again and here he was, right in your arms.
"Did you set this all up?!" You asked, pulling away from your arms. The boy laughed and nodded. "How did you manage to do all this?" You asked, looking around the room. There were red, pink and white balloons hanging at the ceiling, small red paper hearts were covering the curtains and of course the many candles and rose petals all over the place. "Thank you so much for this. Both of you. This is so cute." You said, your hands on your chest as you looked at the two boys and the work they pulled off.
"Oh, where are my manners." You said, fanning your head. "Sit down Tae! It's been so long. I wanna talk and know everything that happen with you while I was gone. You want something to drink?"
Taehyung laughed and stopped you. "It's alright Y/n. You don't need to do all this." He gave you a sweet smile. "Besides, this evening is supposed to be only you and Hoseok. I stay here for two weeks so enough time to talk later. You go and enjoy your night with your manz." Taehyung said, raising his eyebrows and taking his jacket off of the couch. "I'll leave you alone now. Have a great night guys!" He said, winking and smirking at you as he passed by. "See you tomorrow!"
You laughed as he left the place. "Aish that little-" You said as you watched him leave. Hoseok stood behind you again to hug you. He loved giving back hug's a lot lately. Even while you were sleeping he would always spoon you. "Baby?" Hoseok called out your name while he placed his head on your shoulder. "Let's do what Taehyung said and make this night ours." Hoseok said. "And how are you planning to do that Mister Jung?" You asked your boyfriend teasingly.
He took a deep breath. "I don't know yet Misses Jung." You turned around and looked at him in shock. In the past year he had never used his last name to address you until now. "Misses Jung?" He nodded and smiled taking a step backwards and suddenly going down on one knee. Your hands went to cover your mouth in chock. Was this real? Was he really just... proposing to you?
Hoseok pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it. "Y/n Lee, what would you think of becoming Misses Jung? Will you marry me?" He asked sweetly. He was smiling but you knew inside he was very nervous. So you didn't made him wait long and started nodding your head. "Yes, a thousand times yes. I would love to become your wife Hope." You said and Hoseok's smile widened even more as he stood up again and held you close, his lips meeting yours into a soft but passionate kiss. "You have no idea how happy you make me right now." He said, kissing you over and over again.
You were expected to get the ring around your finger but Hoseok just tossed the box onto the couch and picked you up bridle style. You gasped as he swept you from your feet quite literally. "Let's go celebrate this upstairs, shell we?" He asked and you giggled, caressing his cheek and nodding, kissing his lips as he carried you both upstairs towards your room.
"I love you Hope."
"I love you too, Y/n. My miss mafia."
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buckyjamess-archive · 3 years
Text
𝓼𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓷 | 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼
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chapter five • a/n: another chapter, again? Yeah, idk what's happening guys but enjoy while it last, no one is ever writerblock safe. There's some people i can't seem to tag so I'm sorry for that!• want to be tagged? or shoot me a message • likes, reblogs and comments are welcome! • wordcount: 1.9k • warnings: angst, just sad people and then there's Walker.
summary
once a test subject and once a weapon, you, better known as seventeen live a peaceful life in the shadows of society until an old friend drags you into the world you so desperately want to leave behind but at least you're not the only weapon.
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How can you lose your person when they arent your person to begin with, how do you mend someone's trust after crushing it, letting it crumble in your hands and how does one unbreak their heart after shattering it themselves? 
Bucky didn't mean for this to happen, not like this. After all, Walker promised safety, convinced the trio to turn you in but he should've known better than to trust the man who isn't worthy of the shield in his hands. The threat of putting him behind bars should've been a red flag but the use of your name, safety and pardon used in one sentence sounded too good to pass but like meeting you, someone he trusted the second he laid eyes on, it all seemed too good to be true. No pardon, no safety and no way to get you out..legally that is. 
he'd nearly knocked walker out in the middle of the police station when he casually dropped the bomb "oh, I just had to turn her over. I don't have a say in this."  but once again, Sam had stopped him in time. 
locked up behind thick glass and between thick walls,a sad little window high up against the ceiling, empty. White walls and a dirty concrete floor. Daily outfit exchanged for a set of white pants and white shirt, ridded from all things considered dangerous, harmful for others and yourself. If anything, tucked away in a cage like a wild animal but that's what you were, right? 
Bucky's leaning against the glass, hands pushed deep in the pockets of his jeans, his eyes on you on the other side. Your back against the glass from where you'd sat yourself down on the ground and bucky hates that you're not willing to look at him, all he wants it to look in your eyes and apologize for his stupid, dumb actions. The look of betrayal on your face earlier will haunt him for years if he can't get to say his sorry but he understands. He's disappointed in himself too.
"Can you at least talk to me?" He pleads but he knows it's without avail, he has been trying for the last few minutes to get a word out of you, hell, he'd be happy with a 'leave me alone at this point. It's a side of you Bucky had yet to learn, a side Sam and Zemo knew but he had the privilege to not know. 
"C'mon, just say something." And ready for another cold shoulder, Bucky let's his head down and bites his lips. He has thrown away something that could've been something so much more than he'd dared to dream of and for what? It could've been you and him, together. Living a normal life, he's even willing to leave Brooklyn behind to be with you because blue city belongs to you, is your happy place, is where your people are and you're his person though you don't know it yet.
"Last time I talked it got me here." 
Your voice echoes through the empty chamber and reaches bucky, it sounds like music in his ears. 
"I can explain-" 
"There's no need to explain anything," you state clearly "i would've done the same." 
"No, you wouldn't have." Bucky argues back "that's not you." 
An annoyed scoff comes from the other side of the glass and your shoulders move when a chuckle follows after but it's the only movement he gets so far. 
"You don't know me. You know me from papers but that's all." 
"Oh, can you cut the bullshit?" Bucky asks annoyed because he is annoyed, and angry after you just told him the biggest lie– he does know you, he knows you better than he knows anyone and no, maybe he doesn't know you like Letitia or any other person in blue city but he knows you. He does. 
"I didn't spend every night by your side with those nightmares for you to tell me what I know and what I don't know." Bucky grumbles angrily. 
"I never asked you to stay." It's almost inaudible but bucky thanks his super hearing "I never told you to do those things." 
"Well, i did." Backy states "and I choose to stay, that was my decision. I stayed with you because that's what I want." he takes a deep breath "i want us. I want whatever it is we have." 
"You sure do have a funny way of showing it." You deadpan back. 
The vibranium hand that meets the glass with force startles you, the sound echoing through the long hallway. Bucky huffs out and once again hits the glass with less force before turning around, pacing back and forth, scratching the back of his neck or hands in tight fists. Running a hand over his face, he matches back to the glass wall between the two of you. God, he never talked about his feelings in much detail, not even his therapist but you made it so easy. 
"I want you, okay?" His voice is raised but calm "I need you to believe me." 
"Well that's a bit hard after you put me into fucking jail." You spat back "I don't know in what world you live but that's not the way to tell someone." 
It's the trembling of your lip and your tear brimmed eyes that keeps him silent when you finally stand on your feet to face him. 
"I finally had a life and you took that away." 
Something snaps in his chest like a rubber band and the air gets punched out of his lungs. Did you really think he'd do such a thing? He's about to open his mouth to say something back, reassure you he's getting you out of here and tell you he's sorry but you beat him to it 
"Because you're a selfish, arrogant, privileged piece of shit and I need you to leave." You hiss "you don't know what you've done." 
Bucky swallows hard and raises a brow in confusion "what have I done?"
"You signed my death." 
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It's everything you never wanted to think about, everything you tried to forget, something you worked on every single day- pushed yourself away from the past, one step at a time but the two men in front of you couldn't care less.
The room feels cold, grey walls with a matching linoleum floor. A large mirror one one wall, though, you weren't stupid, a two way mirror. A heavy, metal table in the middle, two chairs on one side, occupied by two cops and the one by you. The shackles around your wrist feel heavy as they dangle behind your back. The smell of coffee from the two single cups on the table smelling foul. Files upon files scattered across. 
Name after name, slipping past the chapped lips of the cop on your right. Every single person, name, age and the way their lives ended, the way you ended their lives. As if you'd willingly committed them all.
The vibranium, unbreakable cuffs around your wrist leave red burn marks every time you struggle to get out if them and the urge to kick the table and the two men across the table growing bigger and bigger but you can't, they got you where they wanted. Weak and vulnerable, broken. Ready for a confession of the century. You try to block out the names and all the words but you can't, it's a list you read in your mind every single night- you know them by heart. 
"Please, stop." 
Your own plea breaks you. Voice cracking, filled with panic, anger, pain and remorse. Begging, you can't remember the last time you'd begged for anything and it doesn't seem to matter because nobody ever really cared, so you endure through the accusations, the names and all else that's needed to get you somewhere far, far away to rot.
You endure like you had for the last fifty years.
Bucky, Sam and even Zemo watch in terror, the two men and you behind the glass. You're in distress and they can see and bucky knows it's more than that, he's seen the fast rising and falling of your chest and the nervous tapping of your feet before, late at night when it hurts the most. 
"Tell them to stop." Bucky hisses to the man in his red and blue suit, shield resting on his back and a shit eating grin on his face as he watches in amusement "make them stop." 
Walker ignores it, making Bucky's blood boil and he swears to himself he'd be faster than Sam this time and he is. With a loud thud and a groan, walkers back meet the wall behind him, shield digging in his spine, two hands wrapped around the fabric of his shoulder.
"Let her go." bucky spits and just like you earlier, his lip trembles "this needs to stop." 
"Buck, let him go man. He's not worth it." 
With another slam, Walker meets the wall again with much more force but the grin can't be whipped off his face, cocky. 
"Buck-" Sam speaks up again and lays his hand on bucky's  shoulder "he's not worth it." 
Bucky, slowly but surely loosens the grip on walker and takes a step back, eyes never leaving the men.
"I can't do anything, loverboy," walker snorts "it's their problem now." 
"You promised to let her go after questioning her." 
Walker shrugs "I did. I never said anything about other people taking over." 
Bucky, about to punch his non vibranium hand square onto walker's nose gets stopped by the only men who can, a disapproving look on his face; damn, sam was faster once again. 
Bucky endures. 
He's making plans, ways to get you out without anyone noticing, with or without Sam's help and even if it means he has to spend the rest of his life in jail, he is willing to do so.
A ruckus, a high pitched yell and the door knob twisting and turning made the men in the small room turn around. Door slamming open and close over and over for a second or three. Confused, the men watch in anticipation.
"If you touch me one more time, I'm going to shove that baton up your ass," a woman's voice says "you're going to taste it." 
Another mumble sounds from behind the closed door and feet shuffling– the door opens, a red head marching in, slams the door behind her and completely ignores the men as she walks straight past them, eyes on the people behind the glass.
"Seventeen." It's whispered in disbelief but the tone of her voice changed quickly "you need to let her go." 
Walker laughs "and who are you to tell me what to do?" 
"You're worst nightmare, you fake..wannabe captain..shit, whatever you are." 
Walker is taken aback, like the other men "What's wrong with women these days?" 
It's silent for a second or two before Zemo raises his hand slowly "might be the way you treat women, or anyone in general." He says "people like to be treated nice." 
"Oh shut up-" 
Cut off, walkers back meets the wall once again but isn't met with the face he thought he'd see. Two dark green eyes pierce into his, and two small hands grip the collar of his suit. 
"I know every trigger word by heart and if you don't let her go, I'll make sure you're the first one in her line of sight." 
Walker nods, swallows the lump in his throat and fixes his suit when the woman let's go of him. Two long strides take him to the little box hanging near the window and pushes the button. 
"Guys, let's have a break." Walker announces. 
Turning on her heels, proudly and stoic, the woman faces the three others behind her "sorry, I'm Jill by the way." 
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tags; @fanngirl19
@weirdowithnobeardo
@tailsoflightning
@writing-red
@earthtonav
@kenziekugler22
@21bruhs
@weenersoldierr
@queensnail333
@stickbvg
@lightmelikeacigarette
@whatawonderfulusername
@Snailqueen333
@rexorangecounty
@ohmygodsebastianstan
@Scarlettwitch99
@kirbysdch
@Mischiefmanages71
@imaginemixedfandom
@stuckysavedmylive
@libidinexx
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years
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𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒
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Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging nor trying to romanticize yandere behavior. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.
Warnings: Mentions of bullying, toxic relationship, violent behavior, murder, sexual scenes, paranoia leading to mental blackouts, miscarriage, suicide attempt, mental disorders and death are contained within this post. Read at your own discretion.
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𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:
𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒
𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿
𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟾𝟻 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟼'𝟶 𝙵𝚃.
𝙰𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%
𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%
𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%
𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑
𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚂𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎
𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:
•𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝
•𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝
•𝚃𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗
•𝙸𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛
•𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝
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Mingi was someone who always kept to himself, never wanting to draw any kind of attention.
Unfortunately for him, he got a lot of attention while he was studying in university, and not the good kind.
He accidentally bumped into one of the jocks at school, and from that moment on, his life was hell.
He was constantly belittled, shoved to the floor, his locker filled with vicious and cruel messages ranging from "freak" to "kill yourself."
Mingi often just sighed and continued his day, as if this was totally normal.
It's not that he didn't understand what was going on or didn't care.
He was just too awkward and scared to stand up to himself.
So he often just came home, feeling hopeless and in despair.
Many times he hardly ate and would end up crawling inside his blankets and cry himself to sleep.
Even the few people he talked to stopped associating themselves with him out of fear of becoming the bullies' next target.
So Mingi resigned himself to being alone and to think no one would ever care about him....
Until you came along.
You had recently transferred to his school and one of the first things you saw was the poor sandy hair colored giant get punched in the stomach by his locker.
You were so disgusted and sickened by their behavior that you did not hesitate to go over and make sure he was all right.
"Hey, do you need help?" You asked as you helped him get up.
"I I'm fine...t-thanks.." Without another word, he left you standing there, running off to his next class.
He thought that'd be the last time he saw you but during lunch break, you made it a point to look for him and talk to him.
"Are you feeling better?"
Mingi looked up at you with wide eyes, wondering if it really was him you were talking to.
"Y-yeah...I'm fine. T-thanks"
Smiling at him, you sat next to him, taking out your lunch while trying to make conversation with him.
All throughout it, Mingi seemed agitated, scared almost.
You felt really bad and asked him if something was bothering him.
Sighing he told you:
"Look, I appreciate your concern, but I think it's best if you stay away from me.... I don't want them to hurt you because of me..."
You saw the sadness in his eyes, the loneliness behind them and that made you want to stay with him even more.
"What's your name?" You asked what you had really wanted to know since the beginning.
"Song Mingi." He answered you.
Grinning at him, you held out your hand.
"Well Song Mingi, I'm L/N Y/N. Your soon to be new best friend."
Mingi's mouth dropped at your words, he couldn't possibly believe you were serious.
But you were and not only did you become his closest friend, you also became his protector.
Unlike him, you were fearless, vivacious, outgoing and spontaneous.
And Mingi began to admire you a lot for it....
More than admired, he began to worship you, falling deeply in love with you.
For once in his life, he was happy, truly happy and filled with joy.
Instead of crying himself to sleep, he went to bed all excited to spend the next day with you.
And of course you two spent a lot of time together, since he became your math tutor cause you were the absolute worst with numbers.
You were thankful that Mingi was so patient and caring towards you.
He never showed any signs of frustration or annoyance even after explaining the equation to you about 20 times.
"Y/N. Pay attention or you won't ace the test." He often told you, adding a little pinch to your nose or cheek to get you to focus.
He also loved just talking to you during these sessions.
Obviously being your best friend, he also ended up picking up on what sort of things you liked in a guy.
He would often observe you at school or while you two were out.
One time he even read through a few of your messages with one of your other friends from your old school.
It was exactly what Mingi needed to know, he now had a glimpse of the type of boyfriend you wanted.
And for you.....he'd end up becoming that boyfriend.
So while you were in spring break, he prepared everything.
He got rid of his cardigans and vests, trading them for leather and jean jackets.
He ended up cutting his hair differently and started wearing tighter fitting pants that accentuated his thick thighs.
So when you saw him again, it was a complete 180° from the shy, nerdy boy you knew.
"Whoah! Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"
You weren't going to lie, Mingi did look very attractive.
You were glad though that he was still the cute, adorable and somewhat clumsy boy he was when you first met him.
Because that's the Mingi you knew and loved.
And you wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.
It was after finals that Mingi decided to ask you out.
You were both out celebrating the fact you both passed when he popped the question:
"Y/N will you go out with me?" He suddenly blurted out.
You were taken aback, but said yes nonetheless.
Mingi was so happy.
He was extremely devoted to you as a boyfriend, always saying yes to you and going along with whatever it was you wanted.
Anything you said, he would do it.
"Anywhere you want to go is fine with me."
"Anything you want is fine with me."
You thought it was really sweet at first, he really wanted to make you happy.
But after almost a year of dating, it kinda started to get annoying.
It bothered you that he never seemed to have an opinion of his own.
You actually snapped at him one day while planning a date out.
"Can't you freaking decide for yourself once?"
Mingi just whipped his head at you, unable to comprehend why you were yelling at him.
"Do you not even care about me or this relationship? Cause honestly it seems like you're not actually putting effort into it and if it's like that, why am I even wasting my time on you?"
Mingi got really scared when you began walking out the door, he pleaded with you to stay, to talk through it.
"I'll do anything! Y/N please just don't leave me! What do you want me to do?!" He begged as he got on his knees.
"I want you to leave me alone!"
Alone......that word struck a chord in Mingi's head.....alone.
No....he couldn't go back to being alone...go back to the cold world that he was used to.
He began hyperventilating, his head was spinning and it was pounding like there was no tomorrow.
He doesn't remember much after that. All he remembers was the annoying knocking at the door.
He remembers opening it and seeing a random salesperson there....
But after that, it's all a big black faze, and when he finally came to his senses....
He was covered in blood, and a bludgeoned corpse was sprawled across the kitchen floor.
Although he was panicking, Mingi knew that you could not find out about this.
So he quickly got to work and cleaned up all traces of blood and managed to get rid of the body with no one seeing him.
He was so confused about what happened and panicking about if you found out, that he didn't hear you come in the house until you literally stood in front of him.
He instantly got on his knees and hugged your waist.
"Baby I was so scared that you left me forever! Please I'm sorry I made you feel like I don't care about you, I do! I fucking love you so much, and I promise I'll try harder....
Just for you..."
You felt so bad seeing him, and truly you loved him and felt like it was a petty thing to get mad about.
You pulled him up and reassured him that you weren't mad anymore and that you were too much in love with him to leave.
Mingi felt so relieved. He couldn't even begin to fathom what would happen if he did lose you.
He'd probably go insane.
True to his word, Mingi did try harder to get rid of that habit of just following what you said like a little puppy, and would now start expressing himself more.
Now the problem was he went the complete opposite direction: now he seemed to question your every decision and it would lead to small tiny banters between you two.
One time you got tired of him making a fuss over the fact you were spending so much time with a classmate that it turned really ugly.
"We're working on a project Mingi! Nothing else!" You shouted at him.
"What do you need to be going to his house though and staying til late hours of the night? Why can't you two do it here?!"
"Because you end up distracting us both and throwing passive aggressive words to him." You were exhausted from all the screaming by now you were losing your patience.
"Are you sure it's not because you're just whoring yourself out with them?" He didn't mean for those words to come out...but they did.
And you didn't mean to get so angry to the point of slapping him, but you did and that's when it hit you that you went too far.
You both stood there stunned at what happened, Mingi more hurt than anything by your actions, while you felt ashamed of yourself.
You lifted your hand against the very person you were protecting at first.....and now you hated yourself for hurting him like his past bullies.
Ashamed and full of guilt, you turned away and began walking out.
"Wait no! Y/N please! It's ok! It was my fault! I shouldn't have said that! Please let's just work it out!"
"No Mingi! I can't! I..... I need a break."
Mingi's world came crumbling down when you said that. He went into a slight catatonic state as he watched you walk away.
Once he regained his senses, he ran after you, desperate to bring you back, running around aimlessly through the dark streets and alleys, calling out for you but you were nowhere to be seen.
"Get lost you dirty bastard." A passerby rudely shoved him out of the way.
In a matter of seconds, Mingi's eyes darkened, his fist clenched at his side as rage now coursed through his body.
He turned his head to look back at the stranger who was now walking away.
Smirking, Mingi pulled out the switchblade he was carrying in his pocket before creeping quietly to the man.
Someone had to pay the price and feel the wrath and despair he felt at losing his goddess......and he found them.
It had been roughly a month since you last saw Mingi and although you hated to admit it, you missed him. But you knew you had to stay away for his sake.
But things don't go as planned and you soon found out you were going to have to see him sooner than you thought...
Because you were now pregnant with his child and you had to let him know.
You were so nervous about telling him, your hand trembled as you opened the door to the apartment you used to share with Mingi.
You quietly stepped inside, too afraid to call out for him just yet.
But then you heard some weird noises coming from the bedroom, your heart somewhat dropping when you distinguished what sounded like moans and panting.
You could also make out Mingi's deep voice calling out your name.
Opening the door open, your hand flew to your mouth, semi-muffling your sharp gasp as you took in the scene of Mingi fucking some random girl with her face covered on the bed you two shared not too long ago.
"What the fuck Mingi?!" You exclaimed in utter disgust and betrayal.
"Y/N! I can explain!" All color drained from Mingi's face as he pulled himself out of the girl and quickly dressed himself.
You couldn't bear to stay there another moment, you just ran out of there once again.
But you didn't get far because Mingi swiftly caught up to you and enraptured you in his arms.
"Don't touch me! You're disgusting! You liar! You cheater!" You tossed and writhed around as you tried to escape his grasp, while Mingi tried to hold you still and trying to talk to you.
You felt an immense pain run through your stomach at that moment, your body becoming paralyzed as some weird and excruciating torment bursted in you.
Mingi noticed as well how you clutched your stomach and had difficulty breathing so he wasted no time in taking you to the hospital.
You woke up hours later, late at night, a nurse by your side and Mingi on the other, his hand holding onto yours as tears poured from his eyes.
"What happened?" You immediately asked, your hand instinctively going to your belly.
The nurse explained with sorrow how you had lost the baby, apologizing profusely to you, knowing you were probably in pain.
You went berserk when she told you that, first you denied it, then you began screaming while trying to pull off the IVs attached to you.
Mingi tried to calm you down, but instead he made things worse with his presence.
"This is all your fault! If it wasn't because of you, my baby would be alive!"
Those words cut Mingi deep inside, you killed him immediately with them.
Other nurses rushed in to calm you down as one of them pulled Mingi away for his protection and for yours.
You were numb for the next few days, refusing to see anyone and especially not Mingi, you gave strict orders not to let him in.
You were planning on never seeing him again.
The very day you were released from the hospital though, he was the first person you encountered while you were on your way home.
"Y/N?" He asked, startling you when he came out from the corner.
Your feet shifted slowly, almost losing balance on the small step on your front door.
"What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear I never wanted to see you." Not wanting to waste another minute, you quickly punched in your passcode.
"Y/N baby you don't mean that! I love you! And you love me!"
You let out a dry and haughty laugh at that.
"You? Love me? Is that why you were fucking some whore behind my back?"
"I swear she didn't mean anything! And I made her cover her face because I was thinking of you the entire time..."
You rolled your eyes at that, feeling absolutely disgusted.
"But then I realized she was to blame for everything and so I got rid of her so I can make you happy, forgive me and we could start again."
You halted your actions when he said that.
"Mingi...what do you mean you got rid of her?"
If his last words disturbed you, now you were absolutely horrified as he calmly told you how he mutilated her body and discarded her remains in a lake outside of the city.
You actually felt sick and nearly threw up right then and there.
"Mingi.....what..... you're insane! How could you-?"
Mingi couldn't understand why you were upset.
"Don't you see? I did it for you Y/N. Everything I've ever done is for you."
Now it dawned on you, the person you've ever loved was sick, extremely sick and needed help.
"Mingi.....don't come near me again....stay away....seriously..."
And once again another struggle between you two ensued, you wanting to run away while he held onto you for dear life.
"Stop Mingi! Let me go! I don't love you anymore!"
The spinning in his head started once again, his vision becoming hazy, he could hear his own heartbeat resonating in his ears, his hand shook violently as it reached for an all too familiar object he kept hidden in his pocket....
Everything turned dark and blinding....
But when he came back, there he was, staring in shock at your lifeless body, a fresh, clean cut running all across your neck, blood still spurting out and staining his hands.
"Oh my God! What have I done?!" Mingi cried out, wailing and screaming erratically at the thought that he had just murdered his soulmate with his own hands.
He couldn't bear the thought of living without you, he just couldn't....
And so he picked up the very tool he used to kill you and held up to his own neck....
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