#when all plans fail | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovesickeros · 4 months

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☆ de fontaine

{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k

This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!

She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.

She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.

Furina is tired.

But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?

So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.

Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.

Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.

An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.

She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.

She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.

She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.

And Furina has always been good at lying.

It's the believing that's the hard part.

There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?

Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.

She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?

She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.

Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?

Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.

Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?

They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?

"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"

Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.

Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.

Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.

Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.

"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.

But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.

They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.

She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.

If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..

Furina will make sure they do.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #fic tag #furina #so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe #furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal #furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her #playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy #furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown #sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all #because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end

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batsplat · 3 months

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"ktm needs pedro" true! But they weren't acting like it until recently. Thinking back to when ktm was one of the (limited) options on the table for marc before he signed factory- Why were they even thinking of giving up acosta? 😭 Or war that a power play and they were never gonna actually have marc as an option but just thinking. How funny would it have been.

this has been bothering me so much for this past year! back in 2023, when the gresini marc thing was being floated, so many journalists and fans were treating it like a one-year stopgap (correct) before marc went to... ktm...? and, yes, I know, red bull sponsorship bla bla bla. but every single time I was like. guys? ktm's full? like ducati looked full but at least there was a seat in 2025 theoretically free to be fought for and a deeply unconvincing incumbent rider! it had to be expected that ktm wouldn't have space!! we all saw what this acosta dude was doing in that moto3 race in qatar! this current trajectory should not have been THAT big a surprise to anyone!

ktm was already being real real brave last year... everyone knew they surely had to make room for pedro but they took their sweet time in announcing it!! which, yes, was partly because they'd put themselves into a deeply uncomfortable position where they had to get rid of someone - and the guy who they had to get rid of was their former golden boy who'd gotten horribly injured at the first race weekend last year. also if memory serves correct, they assured pol they had him covered and he didn't need to look for other options, which is classic ktm - did it with remy, did it with him, did it with miller again this year. but even with that complication, you've kinda got to show your big hope you want him!! they ended up announcing the tech3 move last october... let's be brutally honest, and with full sympathy to pol's situation in particular, what they SHOULD have done was announce pedro's signing last march and go 'eh we'll figure out the other riders later'. obviously they also shouldn't have put themselves in this position in the first place! but the whole issue is that they treat rookies as basically a disposable resource and they were blindsided when their newest victim last year outperformed their expectations, making it way harder to throw him away. truly insane approach to rider management

and there were silly season rumours last year of pedro exploring other options! I have no clue whether they were ever remotely realistic, whether it was something his camp deliberately put out there, whether it was all just paddock gossip, but... guys! what are you doing! we already knew that binder had a contract signed roughly until the sun burns out (apparently it runs through 2026) and last year it would've seemed very implausible you'd have grounds to remove him on the basis of performance. which then! raises the obvious question! if you want to sign marc, where are you intending to put him! pedro being this good should not have been come as a shock! of course, you can never be certain of how a rider actually adapts to the switch, but the working assumption should have been that you are dealing with the next marc marquez! that should have been the assumption before he as much as laid a finger on this bike! why was this marc-to-ktm thing seen as so plausible before the season started?? even before marc said as much, it should've been obvious to anyone that he wasn't just going to... go from one satellite outfit to another... I don't care how much tech3 is supposed to be an extension of the ktm squad, it just wasn't going to wash (I know they had the 'oh maybe we can get more bikes on the grid' but like... guys. please don't try to do your rider management on the basis of a pipe dream. come on)

this season I did have a teensy bit more patience with the rumours, because at least they came with the implicit understanding that one of those factory seats would be pedro's. mostly it had died as a serious possibility and just seemed like a way for... either marc to put pressure on ducati or ktm to put pressure on their beleaguered factory riders... but you do just kinda want to go to ktm and go? lads, stop it? you HAVE your guy, all your energy should be going into making your guy happy - rather than flirting with a thirty one year old who has already embedded himself within ducati. yes, of course everyone wants to have the marc marquez riding for them, of course it would've been great if they could've denied ducati one of martin or marquez.... but you would have had to made a choice that's horrendously ruthless even by ktm standards (that'll also quite possibly piss off your new star), or you would've had to do something that's flat out insane. pedro's shown you'll be fine on the rider front come on

risky game they're playing with pedro! at the end of the day, the loyalty will last as long as he thinks he can win there and not a moment longer. I can't find it unfortunately, but I swear he said at some point after the factory contract was announced... or at least implied that he hadn't been thrilled to go to a satellite team this year, but at least he's on the factory team next year. he's impatient! it can't ever go fast enough for him!

speaking of, here's another article that's just dropped and? lol

objectively excellent rookie season, but not enough for this guy, eh. if this is the standard he's expecting from himself, then you can be certain he's not willing to accept anything less from the team

and here:

I'm sure it's complete coincidence marc is his point of reference! doesn't mean anything! nothing to see here

#pedro's got a plan for marc next year tears #//#brr brr #batsplat responds #mayhaps ktm's management themselves could think about adopting a little more of that 'austrian mentality' hm #pepperidge farm remembers when ktm was saying at the start of the year they were committed to keeping their full line-up #you also just don't NEED to do the stuff with gardner + miller or announcing you're firing your riders DURING PRACTISE in 2021 #this is my issue with ktm. they're not just cruel they're idiots #all they've got going for them is disgusting amounts of money which unfortunately means they keep failing upwards #current tag

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