#when the anon sent me that ask about him I had already queued up a lot of smash or passes already

[jjba-smash-or-pass]

[teddy06writes]

A Day In The Life

requesred by this genius anon: “Aight imma hit you with a good one: Literally everything as platonic, but a day in the life of reader in high school with the minor gang (too my, tubbo, ranboo) and all the faculty at the school are dreamsmp members”

Platonic! Minors gang (tommy, tubbo, ranboo and purpled) x reader

trigger warnings: none

premise: a day in the life of a student at the DSMP public high school 

{with all the shit that goes on the smp there's no way it could be anything but a public school}

{also if I do things slightly off or something its cause my high school is weird, we only have four blocks a day, but I think most have seven, so we’re going with that}

{also the dream/george thing, is based on two of the sciences teachers at my school being suspected of having an affiar}

{Full teacher list:

English: Mr. NotFound

Drama: Mr. Soot

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

Gym: Coach Sapnap and Coach Punz

Home ec: Miss Nihachu

Music: Mr. Quackity

Chemistry: Mr. Halo}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home room: Mr. Callahan

You sighed, trudging toward the school entrance, god it was way to early for this. 

The halls were already crowded with people heading to there home rooms, and Mr. Minecraft, the principal, was standing outside the admin offices, greeting everyone with a smile. 

“Good morning, (y/n).” 

“Good morning Mr. Minecraft.” You grumbled as you passed. 

You hurried through the foyer and up the stairs, toward Mr. Callahan’s room. 

“Hey!” Tubbo called, hurrying down the hallway, “(y/n)!”

“Hey Tubbo.” you yawned.

He fell into step with you, “You think Callahan will actually show today?” 

The one good thing about your home room teacher is that none of the kids ever seemed to have seen him. It meant that some days, while other home rooms had lectures of bullying or something, your class got to hang out for 30 minutes. 

“I don’t think he even exists.” Purpled said, falling in on your other side. 

“He definitely doesn’t.” You agreed. 

~~

History: Mr. Blade

“Hey (y/n)!” Ranboo called from his seat at the front of the room as you came in. 

He was lucky enough to have moved homerooms and ended up getting the same room as his first block. 

“Hello Ranboo.” you sighed, sitting down in your seat next to him. 

Tommy came in and plopped down behind you, “Well you sound like shit.”

“No swearing in my classroom, Tommy.” Mr. Blade chided, hardly looking up from the book on his desk. 

You turned to look at Tommy, “It’s too early for this.” 

“You say that everyday!” He laughed. 

“Yeah! Cause this class starts at 7:45 in the god damn morning!” You half exclaimed. 

“Bloody hell you’d think you’d get used to it-” 

“Tommy, what did I say about swearing?” Mr. Blade cut Tommy off. 

“But you didn’t yell at (y/n)!” Tommy yelled, “That’s not fair Tech!” 

Me. Blade glared at his brother, “Do you want me to send you down to Phil’s office Tommy?” 

“I didn’t even do anything!”

After a moment under Mr. Blades glare, Tommy sighed, “Please don’t send me down to Phil.” 

The teacher didn’t respond, instead standing up and moving to stand in front of the board, queuing up the intro slides for the day, “All right everyone, settle down. Today in our ‘tour of the ancient world’ or whatever, we’re going to start our mini unit on Greece.”

~~

Statistics/Math: Mr. Was Taken

After a class that ended mostly in a rant about the myth of Heracles, you said goodbye to Ranboo and Tommy and met up with Purpled to head to math. 

Mr. Wastaken was already passing out the notes when you two got there, sliding into your seats at the back of the classroom just as the bell rang. 

“You’re late.” He chided, dropping the papers onto your desk, then Purpleds. 

“Purp needed to refill his water bottle.” You explained. 

“Seriously?” Mr. Wastaken questioned, “Dude, it’s second block, why the hell was your water already empty?” 

Purpled shrugged, “P.E?” 

“Ehh, wrong, Sapnap doesn’t have you till sixth period.” 

“Stairs... are murder man.” He fumbled. 

You nodded, “First floor to the fourth floor is tough Mr. Wastaken.” 

Rolling his eyes, the teacher moved back to the front of the room, “Alright, last nights homework was a bit of a flop so we’ll be more review for the quiz tomorrow.” 

You groaned internally, pulling out your pencil. 

Purpled nodded, “I fuckin hate review days.” 

“I can hear you, you know!” Mr. WasTaken half yelled. 

~~

Chemistry: Mr. Halo

After Math you and Purpled headed down to the science hall to meet back up with Tubbo to head to Chem. 

“Welcome back everybody!” Mr. Halo greeted cheerily, “Good to see smiling faces for chemistry!” 

How he managed to stay so upbeat, no one would ever know.

You sat down at your lab table with Tubbo, “You think we actually make it to doing the lab today before he starts talking about Mr. Skeppy again?” 

“Oh no chance.” 

You chuckled, pulling out your notebook as Mr. Halo pulled up the opening review before the lab. 

Twenty minutes later found you elbow deep in the lab, quite literally. 

“It was supposed to just be a small scale elephants toothpaste!” Mr. Halo cried. 

Purpled grinned, “You should’ve taken my wildcard factor into account sir.” 

You laughed, wiping the foam off your apron (thank god for lab aprons), “That was brilliant!” 

A few minutes earlier, Tubbo had helped him do out the math to scale up the experiment by 20%, and you had willingly given up your own materials to help.

Now most of the classroom was covered in the foam, and Purpled and the girl who had been unfortunate enough to be partnered with him were knee deep in it. 

“I sent the video to the groupchat.” Tubbo whispered.

“Good.” You chuckled again. 

Mr. Halo groaned, “You three start cleaning this up, Elizabeth, dear, why don’t you join a different group.”

“I volunteer to switch with her!” Drista yelled, “they look like fun!” 

Mr. Halo sighed, “No- no absolutely not- I can’t deal with you added to the mix.” 

Drista pouted, the rest of the class went back to there work, and you, Tubbo and Purpled began to clean up the foam. 

~~

Drama: Mr. Soot

As Purpled left for his history class, you and tubbo headed twoard the music/performing arts suit, where you met up with Ranboo. 

“Tommy said he wished he could’ve been there to see the foam.” Ranboo reported as Tubbo peeled off into the band room, and you both continued on to the green room. 

“Hello, Hello, Hello!” Mr. Soot greeted in an aussie accent (you know the one). 

“Oh god please say were not doing accents today.” Ranboo muttered. 

Mr. Soot laughed, “Nah, we’re going to do some more rounds of improv.” 

“Oh thank god.” You said as you moved to take a seat at one of the side tables. 

“That would have been hell.” Ranboo agreed. 

More people poured into the room, take seats all around as Mr. Soot began to dig through on of the closets. 

As the bell rang he let out a triumphant cheer, turning around and brandishing a very large bowl of paper slips, “I found the prompts!” 

“Oh dear lord.” Ranboo muttered.

“Mr. Soot can we please do like, anything else?” You asked, “Like scenes, or hell I’d even take monologues, you know we’re all shit at improv!” 

The teacher sighed, “I suppose we could do something else. I guess we can begin our next topic, you’re all going to be assigned scenes and given time to practice them, we’ll present on Friday!” 

The entire class breathed a sigh of relief that you had managed to change his mind. 

~~ English: Mr. NotFound 

After a very chaotic lunch full of Tubbo retelling a bunch of jokes Mr. Quackity had told during music,  you trudged off to the one class that didn’t have any of your main group of friends in. 

The one good thing about having Mr. NotFound as a teacher was that he had no clue what he was doing. 

More often then not you would be left to do essays or read the required books, and then watch the movies that went along with them.

And, just your luck, your English block happened to take place during Mr. Wastaken’s prep period. 

“Right, everyone, today’s a work day, finish up anything you need to for this class, or another, and I’ll put on a movie.” Mr. NotFound said as soon as everyone was seated. 

Ten minutes into the movie the teacher had left, and you pulled up the group chat.

(y/n): Mr. NotFound has yet again suspiciously left during class. 

Purp: sus

Purp: just went by WasTaken’s room

Purp: he’s not there

BooBoy: I saw him down in the science hall ten minutes ago

BeEs: Science hall is oposite to English isn’t it

(y/n): yeah it is

BooBoy: very sus

Purp: I swear their having an affair

BeEs: defintly a lesbian

BeEs: *leassion

BeEs: lesion

BeEs: le-a-zon

BeEs: you know what I mean!

BooBoy: take your time Tubbo

You chuckled quietly, putting your phone down to look back up at the movie on the screen. 

~~

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

“AYYYY kids!”

You groaned as your Spanish teacher burst into the room.

“What is with this guy?” Tommy muttered. 

“ayy man not cool.” Mr. Dream said. 

“Mr. Dream your ten minutes late!” Someone pointed out. 

“SHut up man. And I told you just call me Mexican Dream!” The teacher said. 

You frowned, “That doesn’t make sense, theres no way your first name is ‘mexican’.” 

“Well its not,” He explained, “But its cause I’m the Mexican version of that math teacher!” 

“Why couldn’t I have taken French like Boo and Purp?” Tommy asked the ceiling quietly.

~~ Home ec: Miss Nihachu

The last block of the day was always the best, but not just because school would be over soon. 

There were three main reasons why everyone agreed it was the best. 

1. Miss Nihachu was the nicest teacher in school

2. baking was done often, and everyone always got to take some home

3. it was the one class you, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo and Purpled all had together. 

Soon your found yourself crowded into one of the tiny kitchen areas with all your friends, as Miss Nihachu gave instructions. 

“Now, if you make a mess you will be cleaning it up! I’m looking at your kitchen a!” She said, half threateningly.

Ranboo pushed away from the group, “I’m not with them I swear!” 

Miss Nihachu rolled her eyes playfully, “Sure your not.” 

Surprisingly, a mess was not fully made. 

Somehow between Tommy wanting to taste the cookie dough at every step from butter to flour, Tubbo trying to add as many chocolate chips as he could, and Purpled all but refusing to move from where he was sitting on the counter, you and Ranboo managed to get the cookies into the oven with no real disasters. 

As you wiped down the empty counter space you sighed, “That wasn’t too bad.” 

“Yeah.” Tubbo agreed. 

Tommy only nodded, still eating the large glob of cookie dough he’d stolen. 

Ten minutes before the bell rang and when everyone was supposed to be finishing cleaning up you sniffed the air suspiciously, “Why do I smell burning?” 

Tubbo took a deep breath, “I smell it too.”

“Oh yeah, something is definitly burning.” Ranboo agreed. 

You whirled to face Purpled, who was absently scrolling through his phone, “Purp you did set a timer right?” 

[woozibby]

In Love | Joshua

requested: Hello, I hope you’re doing good 💙 Could I maybe request a cute fluff with Joshua? Maybe something were he realizes he’s in love with the reader and tells them, if that’s okay with you~

wc: 2190

a.n. I hope you like this anon!! Please let me know if you have any more requests! <3 This is unedited, so i’m sorry for any mistakes!

SEVENTEEN MASTERLIST

You, my dear reader, are in your afternoon music lesson. You tried your best to keep focus, however, it wasn’t going very well. 

So when your phone started buzzing in your pocket, that was when you completely lost focus.

Your phone screen lights up with many notifications, however, the ones that stood out were the ones from the ironically titled group chat: Oh God Why.

Mingyu: how does everyone feel about pizza?

Vernon: I could go for pizza

y/n: omg yes pls

Joshua: aren’t you meant to be in class y/n? 

y/n: don’t need to call me out like that, but yeah, I’m here 

Mingyu: So pizza after y/n’s class yes or no? 

Vernon, y/n: yes

Joshua: fine yes. y/nie, I’ll come pick you up after class

y/n: awe, thank you josh<3

Mingyu: simp

Joshua: STFU MINGYU

So you giggle to yourself as you read the exchange and you put your phone away in attempts to refocus. The idea of food and hanging out with your best friends at the forefront of your mind. 

Finally, your lesson came to an end and like he said he would be. Joshua was there, outside waiting for you to meet him. 

“So, how was class?” Joshua asks as you link your arm with his and you both make your way to his car. 

“It was something,” you laugh. 

It didn’t take you guys long to get to the small dinner that Mingyu demanded to go to. He mentioned how it sold authentic American style pizza. That no other pizza place could now compare. 

None of you bothered to fight him on it as it was just easier to go along with the giant puppies’ demands. Plus you all knew you wouldn’t be able to say no to him either. 

Once you got inside and were sat down, Mingyu and Vernon instantly went for the menu and began looking over it. However, you were fine just sitting there in the presence of everyone else. 

Looking over, you see Joshua already looking at you with a small smile on his face.

“What?” you asked, returning his smile.

“Nothing,” he responded, turning his attention away from you. “Guys, stop hogging the menus, let us have a look.” 

Ten minutes later, you’ve all ordered and are now sipping away at your drinks as you guys talk about your day. You laughed at the jokes Vernon said and how every time the door would open from the kitchen Mingyu’s head would be straight up and looking around like a meercat. 

However, what you didn’t notice was the fact how when you weren’t looking, Joshua would take the time to glance at you, smile and look away before you could notice. You were so engrossed in the conversation that you failed to notice the smile that never left his lips. 

So anyways, your pizza arrives and you guys slowly eat your food- well you slowly eat your food, the guys slowly and eating are never in the same sentence. 

So once you’ve finished up, you all split the bill and make your way out of the dinner. 

“Didn’t I tell you that place was great?” Mingyu gushes as he walks ahead of you with Vernon. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Vernon laughs. 

You continue to smile as you watch the two boys before turning your attention towards your other best friend. 

“You okay?” you ask. “You’ve been kinda quiet tonight.” 

Joshua hums and shrugs his shoulders. He takes a moment to think before nodding his head.

“I’m good,” The smile never falls. 

OKAY so, flash forward. 

So it’s a Saturday, you don’t have lessons AND since you were good, you made sure to catch up on all of your work so you could have the weekend to chill and do nothing.

Absolutely nothing. 

You didn’t want to think, you didn’t want to move an inch out of your apartment. The only thing that would get you out of your apartment was if the building was on fire and even then, you’d have to think about it. 

So you queued up a drama on your tv and started on making a snack or two to keep you going and once that was all done, you made your way back to the living room and plopped yourself down on the couch with a blanket thrown over your lap. 

You were twenty minutes into the first episode when your phone buzzed. You ignored it, thinking that if it was important they’d call back later. So you forgot about it for another ten or so minutes until it buzzed again. 

Letting out a sigh, you pause the episode and lean over to grab your phone. 

Your screen was full of notifications. 

Some were random things from Twitter, others were from some random app you forgot you had on your phone, but the most recent ones were a string of text messages from Josh. 

Joshua: You busy? 

Joshua: You doing anything rn?

Joshua: you’re free right?

You whipped your hands on your blanket before you unlocked your phone and typed back a response. 

y/n: define free?

Joshua: As in you’re not out and doing something??

y/n: then yeah, I’m free

Joshua: YES okay, do you want to do something? I thought maybe we could go to the aquarium? 

You began to type out a message, before pressing backspace and deleting it all. You wanted to spend the day inside, but what was the worst that could happen? Plus, how could you ever say no to him?

y/n: yeah sure, meet me here in twenty?

Joshua: cool, for sure! 

Locking your phone once more, you turn off your tv and take your snacks back to the kitchen before you headed to your room to get changed. 

You put on a comfortable outfit and made sure to wear a jacket over the top as you knew it could sometimes get cold in the aquarium. So, by the time you were ready, a knock on your door didn’t come as much of a surprise. 

Opening it up, you smile at Josh and invite him in. 

“I’ll be one second, just gotta put my shoes on.” 

He nods and sits himself down on the couch as he waits for you to finish and when you come back out with a small bag, you pick up your keys, purse and phone before shoving them in. 

“You ready?” he asks causing you to nod in response. 

So he drives and you guys get to the aquarium in no time. 

Once you get inside and your tickets are brought, you start to make your way through. 

Josh laughs to himself every time you saw a new animal and ran over to them in awe. He tried his best to keep beside you, however, once something caught your eye, you were off again in a flash. 

He didn’t mind though, the look on your face and the pure joy that emanated from you was enough for him. Every little thing you did made him smile, every little thing you did made his heart jump around. 

It wasn’t until you guys got to the underwater tunnel and the sight of you looking all around you with the largest smile he thought he had ever seen you smile, did it dawn to him. 

He loves you. 

No matter how much his heart and brain fought, no matter how much he wanted to deny it- he couldn’t. Not now, not whilst looking at you like this. Not when the water was reflecting on you in a way that enhanced your already beautiful self. 

Mingyu and Vernon always joked that he was a simp for you and they were right. Not that Josh would ever tell them that, they didn’t need the ego boost. 

So as Josh followed you around the aquarium, he smiled. He laughed to himself and the more time you guys spent the more it cemented in his mind.

He was in love and there was nothing he could do about it. 

So flash forward an hour or two. 

He’s dropped you home and you’ve gone on and on about how fun the day was. How much fun it was going there with him and it makes his heart expand like five sizes. 

So after he drops you off, he heads back to his own apartment which he shares with Vernon and Mingyu. When he walks through the door, both boys are sat on the couch, playing the same game they were playing when Josh left. 

“How was your date?” Mingyu sniggers, he, however, doesn’t turn his attention away from the tv as Josh walks over and lets himself fall into the love sweet. 

“It wasn’t a date,” Josh responds before covering his face up with his hands.

“Is that why you looked so bummed?” Vernon asks. 

Josh uncovers his face and sends a look to the younger boy. Vernon, who just shrugs says nothing more. 

“I realised something today and I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing.” 

“Let me guess,” Mingyu pauses the game which causes Vernon to gasp. “You’ve finally realised your love for y/n and now you’re in a state of shock” 

Josh’s eyebrows furrow together as he slowly nods.

“How did you know?” 

Both of the younger boys sigh in defeat. 

“Because it’s obvious!” Vernon laughs. “You’ve been in love with them since what? The moment you guys saw each other?” 

“That’s not true,” Josh fakes a laugh as he looks down at his hands. 

“Yes, it is and don’t even try to deny it.” Mingyu states. 

“And so what you like y/n, what’s so bad about that?” Vernon asks causing Josh to shrug once again. 

“I don’t know, maybe I’m scared it’ll ruin our friendship.” 

“There is nothing in this world that could end your friendship, you know why?” Mingyu asks, but he doesn’t wait for Josh to respond. “Because your guys’ friendship transcends any other thing. You guys are practically soulmates, don’t hide your feelings because of the anxieties.” 

“He’s right,” Vernon speaks. “Let’s say you did confess and they didn’t feel the same way, that’s a whole lot better than sitting here wondering what could have been.” 

Josh lets out a breath of air and nods his head slowly. 

What the boys were saying was true. 

What was the worst that could happen? You could say no and that Vernon was right. At least you can move on from a no, how can you move on from the thoughts of a what if? 

Because what if he didn’t tell her and there was a day where he began to regret that decision? How could he live with himself if he never told you how much he truly loved you? 

Josh shot up from his chair and sent a look to the two younger boys. 

“I need to tell them,” 

Vernon and Mingyu look at each other before looking at Josh with wide eyes.

“Like right now?” Mingyu asks.

Josh nods.

“Of course, when else am I going to tell them?” 

Vernon laughs and claps his hands. 

“Go on, go do it! Tell them, dude.” 

“I’m doing it,” Josh said before walking out the door. 

He came back in a moment later and picked up his car keys. 

“I’m doing it now!” He said leaving once more. 

Mingyu and Vernon looked at each other once more before speaking. 

“He’s seriously going to do it,” 

They looked back at the tv.

“Another game?”

“Sure.” 

SO back to you!! 

Since you’ve gotten back, you’ve put back on your drama, you’ve got your snacks back out and reclaimed your position on the couch. You’ve finally finished the first episode and you’re only into the second one by a minute or two when the sound of knocking on your door causes you to jump in fright. 

“What is it now?” You mumble to yourself as you place the snacks on your coffee table and throw your blanket to the side. 

Going to the door and opening it up, you make a face to yourself in shock at the sight of Josh standing behind it. 

“Oh Josh hey, what’s up? It hasn’t even been an hour and a half, miss me that much?” You laughed at your own joke, but your smile dropped at how serious Josh was. “Are you ok-...” 

He cuts you off, and your mouth drops. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you giggle. “What’s up with you?” 

“No, I mean, I love you, I’m in love with you. I look at you and my heart swells and I wouldn’t want anything more than to call you mine.” 

You blink for a moment as your brain tries to catch up with the words Josh is saying. 

“I-I…” You try to speak, but nothing came out. 

Josh begins to frown and looks down. Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to them, he thought to himself. 

“I’m sorry, I shou-...” 

However, this time you were the one to cut him off.

“I love you too.”

[tartagliaxx]

hello!! i cant seem to find our last interaction but to be fair it was a whileee ago 💔 ahah hi it’s me, the anon that dropped off the face of the earth 😔 firstly i wanted to clear up a few things! my life has been pretty yucky since we last talked so i went off tumblr for awhile,, got sick, got sucky grades back, changed subjects etc etc. i’m sorry i disappeared like that regardless! i tend to do the whole hibernate into my little wallow of sadness and come back out when i’m finished,,, (a bad habit i need to break) i hope we’re okay! i actually just got back on socials and was surprised to see you mention the band hcs ahah and remembered f u c k i disappeared. tldr: me being a ghost was definitely not your fault and just me tryna figure out my life lol!

idk why spacing is so weird on asks anyway, how’s everything going in your life? are you doing alright? since we last talked i did catch a few glimpses of? maybe you didn’t get childe? i should really catch up on ur blog 😀 if he didn’t come home i’m tying him up and roasting him like a piece of meat on a fire bc w t f man???? rude as fuck not to come home to ur wife 😡🔫🔫 if he d i d come home,, disregard everything i said ☺️ <3 he’s safe,,, for now...

so back to the matter at hand: band hcs. love, please!!! do not force urself to write these 😔 i know u said u got em queued up but i can’t help but feel guilty bc i was definitely meant to throw my two cents in there! *cue me scrambling for my notes* from what i can gather.... *squints at notes* i could see childe as main vocal/on the electric guitar maybe bc i think that’s kinda sexy of him (nothing to do with ed sheeran playing guitar...😳) kaeya i can see as sub vocal/bass guitar - i feel like he wouldn’t be the face of the band but very popular for the vibe he’s got going. benny on the drums because benny on the drums that’s my explanation aaaand old man zhongli on keyboard/sub vocal. that’s what i had ahah probably totally different to yours but tell me your thoughts - i look forward to seeing yours! (note: this was just a boy band of my favs 😔) i just saw another post u had about...something i can’t remember but i had thoughts abt it and will send them in a seperate ask!!

i’m sorry i can’t remember much of what we said last time aaa my memory is horrible but i do remember something abt us watching barbie movies tgt and u perhaps saying that’s cool 👀 heh um,, if we were to start, would you want to go in chronological order? 👀 alright! this is very long so i’ll wrap it up there, all my love~! 🦋💞xx (if i got the emojis in the wrong order...no i didn’t 😳🤚)

mAN ahahahhahahahah ok, first of all, i never meant for you to feel guilty over this or put you in the spot for that matter because trust me, i understand. i sometimes need to stay away to recharge and stuff. besides, no one is ever, ever required to keep talking to me after they sent an ask. it’s not your responsibility to socialize with me but i appreciate it regardless. i’m so sorry your life was not going very well but i just know that better days are coming :)) and yes, we’re definitely okay. i do hope that u didn’t feel forced to send this tho!

things have been great! i have been doing absolutely nothing in contrast to back then when i was doing absolutely everything. it’s like a recharge period for me. oh and im doing my graduation rites on may 8 so there’s that.

ok so,, i lost 50/50 w mona and i lost all hope that i’ll get childe but drama queen went brr and came home on my 16th pull after that. i’m still a little salty bc you dont do that to your wife yknow??? so you have my permission to put him in a stick and grill him over live fire 😍

🥺🥺 that’s sounds fun!! the hcs are already done. i had a huge brainrot yesterday and finished it in one sitting. very different from what you have but im starting to feel like yours had more sense to it asvdhskkcbsjka n e way, childe being your bad boy guitarist bf.... MAN i see it and i love it. i feel like kaeya would exude sm mysterious energy and he just catches attention on stage. mr. popular through and through. and like,, i hc kaeya has pretty hands and just,, imagining it on a bass, fingers stretching to reach the chords... ugh seggsy 😭 benny boy send tweet!! i love that.. i feel like he’s the type to always have tons of spares on him bc he keeps snapping his sticks bc he gets into it. i love the polarity tho bc off stage he’s the softest boy around 🤧 and lastly, big man zhong... hehehehe... yes.

i got your other ask and i’ll answer it separately so we can vibe better there. on another note,, yes please!! let’s watch the barbie cinematic universe chronologically together!! idk how we’ll do it though? discord maybe? if u have that u can send in your id through an ask and i’ll send the request privately. thanks for dropping by again, bub!

ps. i think you got the emojis right

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

scary movie

request: 33 with mat Barzal please!!

prompt: “We’re about to be murdered and you say that?” / number 33 off of this list with Mathew Barzal.

summary: a simple movie marathon with Mat turns into both your worst fear and the best night of your life.

warnings: swearing, breaking and entering (?)

word count: 2k

requested by: anon

“You’re literally a man child.” 

“Hey!” Mat protested your chirp. You giggled at him, and he could keep an angry face before he started laughing along with you. “Okay, maybe I am. But which one should I pick?”

“It’s candy, Mat.” You tried to reason, leaning against the shopping cart as you watched your best friend try and make a decision. You made a show of checking the time on your phone, teasingly telling him you’d been in the same aisle for two minutes now.

“It’s not everyday I let you convince me to cheat on my diet, this is a very important decision.” He joked back and you rolled your eyes, the smile never leaving your face. 

“You’re the one who suggested a movie night.”

“And a sleepover.” Mat gave you a pointed look, making sure you didn't forget that part. 

“And a sleepover.” You repeated with a sigh, as if it was the most troubling thing he could have asked you to do. And in a way, it kind of was. Your friendship with Mat was borderline painful since you had come to the realization a few weeks back that you had totally, completely, fallen for your best friend. 

But he was practically untouchable. He was this star hockey player that got to travel across the country and even into Canada. Dozens of women threw themselves at Mat for a chance to be with him, if only for one night. You watched all this happen from your spot at his best friend. 

You took the momentary lull in conversation to appreciate Mat. He was in casual sweats and an Islanders shirt, an outfit not unlike yours as he had spontaneously arrived at your apartment after practice. It wasn't out of the ordinary to have him show you at random times, and it especially wasn't far from the norm to have him ask you to help him with errands. He’d grin at you in the lazy way he did and you’d drop whatever you were doing to help him. 

“Why did I agree to go grocery shopping with you?” You mused, the question supposed to pass off as more a jab than a legitimate inquiry. Mat just turned to face you, his typical smug grin on his face as he finally tossed the pack of candy he picked out into the cart. 

“Because I depend on you to keep me alive.” Mat said like it was simple, and you once more you rolled your eyes at him. You started rolling away from him and towards the produce section, knowing he needed to stock his fridge with food he actually could eat during the week. 

“Do you want to get ice cream while we’re here?” You asked, knowing that was one of his favorite snacks for your movie nights. You tried to ignore the nagging thought that grocery shopping with him felt so domestic and natural, like the two of you were actually a couple and were buying food for your apartment. And honestly, with the amount of time you spent at him place, it wasn't far from the truth.

“No, I bought your favorite kind yesterday so I wouldn't forget.” Mat said and it felt so casual, like it was something he did often, you had to force yourself not stop dead in your tracks in the middle of the store. Thankfully, he was looking at something on his phone and missed the look of pure adoration you sent his way at the thought of him not only remembering your favorite kind of ice cream, but going out of his way to make sure he had it in his apartment for you.

“You’re so sweet.” You settled on finally, hoping that he wouldn't question the beat of silence that lasted a moment too long between his declaration and your response. 

“Do you usually think I’m some kind of jerk?” Mat teased, and suddenly you were rolling your eyes at him playfully once more.

“If you keep being such a drama queen, I’m going to go home and make you pick out your own groceries.” You mocked, trying—and failing—to ignore the handsome grin on his face.

“You wouldn't do that, you love me too much.” You just chuckled, not responded because you didn't trust yourself to not let him know just how right he was.

After the first movie had ended, you had already finished your second glass of wine. You weren't drunk by any means, just a bit tipsy and giggly. Mat was in the same boat as you, which was why neither of you found any problem when Mat suggested watching the next movie in his bed. He insisted that it was more comfortable for cuddling and that it was more practical, since you’d be spending the night, not that you would have argued. 

It probably did nothing to help your feelings, but as you watched Mat flop down onto his bed on his back, opening his arms up for you, you threw caution to the wind. You grinned like a dope, crawling into his awaiting arms and curling into his side. Your smile fell off your face immediately once you saw the movie he had queued up.

“No!” You whined, drawing out the word much longer than necessary. Mat started giggling, and you only pouted. “That’s literally like the scariest movie ever.” The wine had you exaggerating, but Mat didn't seem to notice nor care as he giggled. 

“I’ll protect you.” He said between his laughter, sobering up once you pinched his side. 

“You can barely watch scary movies. How are you supposed to protect me?” You teased. Any other protests you had died on your lips went Mat tightened his arms around you, pulling you so you were practically laying on his chest. Despite the fact that this was not the first time you had cuddled with Mat, your heart rate doubled its pace and you were certain he could feel it since you were pressed up against him. 

“You’re so mean to me.” Mat huffed and you rolled your eyes. The conversation stopped there as the movie started playing, and you only spoke in curses and screams from the various jump scares. Somehow, you managed to get even closer to Mat than when the movie started, on account of you shielding yourself from the screen by burying your head into the crook of his neck. Mat would laugh at you until the next jump scare, where he’d let out a resounding ‘fuck!’ because the creepy kid that you were sure was going to give both of you nightmares appeared.

“We need to watch something happy now.” You breathed, trying to collect your thoughts as the credits rolled on screen. It was nearing one in the morning, and your yawns clued you in that if your were to watch something else, you’d just fall asleep before you made it halfway through. 

“No, that’s the fun part. Being scared shitless as you try to fall asleep.” Mat grinned, turning off the television. You groaned, standing up to get ready for bed when you froze in your spot. 

You heard the front door of Mat’s apartment click shut, and footsteps in the living room. Mat was looking at you with wide eyes, and you knew he heard it too. Your palms started to sweat and Mat gestured for you to silently cross the room to stand by him.

“Do you have your phone?” He whispered, and though he tried to hide it, you could see the nervousness in his eyes. You shook your head, starting to panic, realizing that you had left it on the coffee table in the living room—right next to Mat’s. 

“It’s out there.” You bit your lip to try and keep calm, your voice barely audible and you were certain that it Mat wasn't standing as close to you as he had been, then he wouldn't have heard you. He looked into your eyes, as if he was searching for something, trying to piece together a plan that would get you out of his apartment safely.

“I love you.”

“We’re about to be murdered and you say that?” You had you force yourself to keep your tone low and even. Of all the times for Mat to confess his feelings for you, he had to pick the one time you were certain someone who had just broken into his apartment was going to kill you. You couldn't even focus on how your heart was doing flips because you were trying to keep the contents of your stomach done. “Not the best time, Mat.”

“Fuck, okay, I’m going to look.” He started to head towards the bedroom door and you could hear the footsteps, it sounded like the intruder was in the kitchen now. 

Fear started to settle into you, and you shot your hand forward, grasping for Mat’s. He instantly complied, giving your hand a squeeze before using it to tug your body behind his as he cracked the door open. 

“Mat, I’m scared.” You spoke into his back. All at once, you felt the tension in his body disappear, his shoulders going slack but the grip on your hand stayed tight. You didn't know if that was a good sign, but you weren’t left wondering long.

“What the fuck are you doing here Tito?” Mat yelled into the apartment, gaining the attention of his closest friend on the team. Relief washed over you and you couldn't help the breathy laugh that you let out. “We thought you were a robber.”

“Shit, I didn't realize she was spending the night. But I left my wallet here and I needed it. I texted you, though.” Tito explained, finally coming into your view as Mat let the bedroom door swing open. Mat sighed, flipping off his friend before slinking back into the bedroom. 

“Goodbye, Tito.” You called, watching as he headed to the door. He returned the sentiment and you headed back into the bedroom, after grabbing both yours and Mat’s phones and seeing that he had, in fact, texted. 

“Sorry about that. I didn't realize I was going to regret giving him a key so quickly.” Mat mumbled, laying facedown on the bed. “If you uh, want me to sleep on the couch I will.” 

“I’m not going to make you sleep on the couch, Mat.” You sighed, a smile finding its way onto your face as you finally calmed down enough to absorb what he had confessed minutes prior. “Now’s a better time, by the way.”

Mat turned towards you, studying you as you sat on the edge of his bed. You could see the worry in his eyes, and it made you reach out and rub a comforting hand on his back. 

“I love you, like a lot.” He sighed, and you shifted your position so you were laying on your stomach beside him, head turned to face him. “And this is terrifying because you’re my best friend and I don't want to lose you.”

“More terrifying than a potential robber?” You teased, and Mat bumped you with his shoulder. 

“Worse than a robber, even if they turn out to be Tito.” You giggled at his chirp at his teammates expense. Mat was smiling, soft eyes looking at you like you were the reason to get up in the morning. The air felt thicker in the room, but you weren't complaining. It was a good feeling, like there was a shift in your relationship with him that you had been dying for, for weeks. 

And suddenly you were kissing him. You were kissing Mat Barzal, Long Island’s star athlete. But he wasn't just a hockey player to you, he was your best friend. He was the goofy boy you had fallen in love with over movie nights and idiotic dancing at clubs. He was the one that never failed to take your breath away when walked in the room and the kiss between you two fell nothing short of stealing the oxygen from your lungs just the same. You were certain that if you hadn’t been lying down, he would've knocked you off your feet.

“For the record, Mat, I love you too.”

[lilfellasblog]

Lights Out

Summary: Logan's job consisted of many important things critical to Thomas' life. There was no room for error. He cannot make mistakes.

Until he makes a big one.

A/N: If you liked this, please reblog. It is the only way to help this fic reach a wider audience. This is a Tumblr ask! Thank you to the anonymous asker who waited patiently for me to write this, and then continued to be patient because I was trying out the queuing thing on Tumblr and accidentally made it so this posted here the next day. WHOOPS!! Sorry anon! You’re amazing and so kind and I REALLY hope you enjoy this fic!! I decided that since Virgil is usually the one getting hurt and needing comfort in these fics (esp in mine LOL), I wanted to switch it up for you so you could have something unique! And I figured that the central conflict in this story would also make it a little more unique for you! I hope you enjoy!

TW: crying, insecurity, self-doubt, negative self-talk, power going out and being left in the dark, mention of panic attacks, very vague allusion to a probably unsympathetic Deceit. If I missed any let me know!

Word count: 1864

AO3 here!

Fic Masterlist here!

Logan was hunched over his desk, in a posture admittedly not the healthiest but he could hardly be bothered. Thomas had three projects with outside channels and he had to update his Sanders Sides web series soon, even with the deal with Marvel. That, on top of meetings with his company, planning a video schedule for the second channel, and managing household necessities and bills, and one might find Logan rather frazzled.

(Thankfully, Patton had helped take over grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking, only corresponding with Logan on the budget. It was one less thing Logan had to worry about.)

His forehead and back were tense, his eyes were terribly dry, and his mind was racing. His hands were shaking as he jumped from one task to the other, adrenaline flooding his system. Normally, he wouldn’t get to this point. However, with how scheduling with his company and outside individuals and companies for meeting and filming had gone, he’d been on high alert for almost two weeks now. Logan desperately hoped that the schedule would come together and Thomas would get a small break from filming and meetings; he’s seen the strain it’s taken on his Host and on the other core Sides, and they were running ragged as well.

Logan checked over the schedule Adri had sent them and compared that against the rest of the crew’s schedule.

Yes! Finally! This can work, I just need to mark this down and-

Suddenly, panic sweeps through the mindscape along with shock. Logan quickly rose up into Thomas’ realm to see… nothing. It was completely dark. As his eyes slowly adjusted, he heard Virgil rattling off possibilities that would inevitably end in their demise, Roman declaring he’ll slay any intruder that dares threaten them while offering to serenade everyone, Thomas trying to calm him and Roman down while he looked on his phone to see what was going on, and Patton tripping over things in the dark while he tried to comfort Virgil.

Logan was frozen stock still, realizing instantly what had happened.

I forgot to have Thomas pay his electric bill. The website was taking too long to load, so we were going to work on it another time when the website wasn’t so slow. This is my fault. They are upset and panicking because I have failed in organizing Thomas.

His heart shattered as he listened to Patton lead Virgil through breathing exercises.

I have caused my boyfriend unnecessary distress due to my incompetence. Such a simple oversight on my part. A foolish oversight. One that would not have happened were it another Side.

Roman was checking the perimeter of the apartment for intruders, hand on his sword while he sang Make a Man Out of You under his breath. Normally, he’d be belting out songs at the top of his lungs, which only went to show his level of distress. Thomas was realizing what had happened and looked at Logan, with only the light from his cell phone screen to see.

Thomas, Virgil, Patton, and Roman deserve a better Logic. I am clearly incapable of managing the simplest things, and now we have had our power turned off. Food will begin to rot, and we just went grocery shopping. This has impacted the budget. The increased stress of not having electronics will be incredible, and the lack of air conditioning in the Florida summer may cause health concerns. This is my fault, and my fault alone. I am incompetent.

Logan sank out to his room to figure out how to survive until the power came back on. He didn’t hear Virgil calling his name.

/////

Logan had been staring at his desk morosely for a half hour, shoulders hitching and silent tears dripping down his stoic face as he observed the chaos his desk had become.

I cannot manage Thomas’ schedule. I cannot manage his bills. I cannot manage his household needs. I cannot focus to even begin to help Thomas manage while the power is out. What good am I? I am no good. I am useless. A useless, dysfunctional Side who only makes Thomas’ life more difficult. I make him unhappy. I make the others unhappy.

Logan’s felt his chest tighten and a painful lump form in his throat. His face began to crumple despite his best efforts. Just then, several tentative knocks sounded at his door.

“Come in Virgil,” he called, managing to keep his voice mostly calm.

Virgil opened the door and walked in slowly, assessing the situation. He knew Logan rarely got this upset over something, and to tread carefully.

“How’d you know it was me?” he asked lightly.

“Your knocks are tentative, compelled by your concern to make sure you’re not interrupting someone. Regardless of how upset you may be or your level of need, your first concern is always the convenience of others. It is admirable to a point, though foolish after that point.”

Virgil huffed out a laugh. “Thanks L.”

“You are welcome.”

Virgil’s face softened at Logan’s factual response and his complete overlook of sarcasm. That was always one thing that could calm Virgil; Logan wouldn’t keep anything from Virgil or misunderstand something he said. Logan took what Virgil said at face value and spoke to him in a direct manner. There was no guessing his intent or the “true” meaning of his words, no chance to get it wrong, no chance to accidentally upset him because he didn’t read between the lines correctly…

Virgil shook his head to clear those thoughts from his mind. There was no use dwelling on the past, and it wouldn’t help Logan now.

He cautiously walked closer to Logan. “I saw how fast you got out of there. Couldn’t see your face too well though. How are you holding up?”

“My spinal column is intact.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Talk to me babe.”

Virgil patiently stood next to Logan in silence for several minutes, letting Logan gather himself and his thoughts, breath still hitching with the occasional sniffle. Emotions did not come easily to Logan, so processing them and figuring out how to express them were two challenges that required his full attention without interruption. And as much as Virgil wanted to comfort his boyfriend already, if Logan felt he didn’t express his feelings properly or felt that something was unresolved, there would be no making him feel better.

Finally, just as Virgil’s anxiety began to grow, Logan spoke.

“My job encompasses many things. I am the language center of Thomas’ brain, I manage his work schedules, and I assist in the management of household chores. Notably, this includes ensuring bills are paid on time.”

Logan paused, and Virgil didn’t dare say a thing.

“If Thomas had a more functional Logic, he would not have forgotten to pay his electricity bill. We were in the process of paying it, but I decided that the website was taking too long, and therefore we would return to the task at another time. Not only did I fail to notate that in our budget, I also failed to set a reminder to check the website at a later date, and I did not remember to ensure we paid our bill.”

Logan’s voice began to wobble as he stiffened his back, attempting to control his expression. “As a result, Thomas’ health may be at risk, we may have to throw out food, which will impact our budget, there will be a late payment and reconnection fee which will also impact our budget, there is increased stress on all of you, you nearly had a panic attack, Thomas will have to work exclusively at the office, and his sleep will be disrupted.”

Logan choked back a sob, his voice coming out thick. Virgil felt his face growing hot and pressure building behind his eyes, threatening to make him cry. “I am an incompetent, useless, harmful Side. I do not perform my job adequately, and as a result you all now must suffer for it and attempt to successfully think of how to survive until power can be restored.”

Virgil waited a moment to see if Logan would continue, audible sobs choking off in Logan’s throat. When Logan didn’t continue, Virgil put a hand on the back of Logan’s chair.

“Can I give you a hug Lo?”

Logan sniffled and nodded as a sob finally escaped him. Virgil pulled Logan up out of his chair and had to catch his intellectual boyfriend as he collapsed into Virgil’s chest. Logan was letting out heart-wrenching sobs, self-hatred and grief echoing around the minimalist room. Virgil held onto Logan tightly, rubbing his back and swaying them, his own tears flowing down his face at hearing his boyfriend so anguished. They stood there for 10 minutes, until Logan’s sobs began to peter off.

The genius pulled back slightly. “M-my apologies, I did not mean-”

“If you apologize for needing to cry, I am going to physically fight you!”

Logan let out a watery laugh, which mended some of the cracks in Virgil’s heart. Virgil wiped away his own tear tracks, then reached up and gently swiped his thumb over his lover’s sharp features before returning his hands to Logan’s shoulders.

“Babe, how many times have you helped me come down from a panic attack?” Virgil asked rhetorically.

“Since I’ve known you, 867 times.”

Virgil was stunned into silence for a moment. “...holy shit. Okay, and how many times have you helped redirect the three of us so we could actually be useful for Thomas?”

Logan smiled wryly. “I believe that number is beyond my reach.”

“Smartass. How many times have you helped Roman refine a script?”

Logan frowned and tilted his head. “I’ve done so for every script, you know this.”

“I know. And how many times have you helped Patton work through and accept his feelings?”

Logan hummed in thought. “309 times.”

“Logan, we’ve all fucked up on our jobs and needed your help. You’ve managed to carry that, plus your own responsibilities, really fucking well. You’re allowed to fuck up every now and then. Let us help you for once. Please.”

Logan sighed in defeat, unable to resist the pleading look in Virgil’s eyes.  “Very well.”

“Hey, L.”

“Yes, darling?”

Virgil stepped closer to Logan, their chests nearly touching. “You do so much for us. One mistake doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human. And no one's mad at you. Not Thomas, not Roman, not Patton, not me.”

“Technically, I am a metaphysical human.”

“It makes you a metaphysical human. Come on, you’ve been working yourself to death lately. Let me take care of you for once. How does a back massage, some tea, and some cuddles sound?”

Logan smiled softly at Virgil, the smile meant only for his boyfriend. “I would love nothing more than to spend this evening with you.”

Virgil smiled back and kissed Logan, slow and sweet. He didn’t stop until he felt some of the tension melt from his boyfriend’s shoulders. And he didn’t stop taking care of Logan that night until he was asleep, fully relaxed, on Virgil’s chest.

[lisinfleur]

On the Verge - Part II

The Request:                                  

Author’s Notes | I don’t know if I really should have queued this for 5CW Ivar, so, well… Here it is, haha I hope you like it! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Sigurd x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon for 5CW7. Part I available here. Words | 2385 ⁑ Warnings: Some cursing, betrayal, mentions of blood, and violence.

The gods were merciful on you: Ivar accepted the whole mead you placed in his cup during dinner and fell asleep easily by your side. So, with the night high, you placed a pair of your simpler dresses in a bag along with some of your jewelry you knew were valuable to be sold for some money later. Anything Ivar gave to you was added to your bag; not even your morgen-gifu - even thou you knew that collar and earrings would worth a fortune. You didn't want him to have any ways to find you and Sigurd and selling a jewel like that one - made under an order for him, a unique piece - would surely be to leave some kind of trace behind; a trail that Ivar could follow towards the sanctuary of your dream life.

You got dressed in a cotton dress and a hooded cloak you ordered from a slave during that day: this way, no one would say Sigurd had left with his queen, but with a slave by his side. You hoped it would confuse his men even more, dispersing the followers.

Your eyes landed on that man sleeping in the bed you called yours for a long time. You felt some guilt of leaving like that, betraying him like that. But it was never in your hands to save that marriage. It was in his hands to stop beating you; stop treating you like a slave; to recognize you were his wife, not his toy.

You sent a prayer on the gods for your safe departure one more time and mutely asking forgiveness for abandoning your husband like this, you left your room, following to the hall's entrance where Sigurd was waiting for you as treated.

"My love..." he mumbled, cupping your face and kissing your lips softly before taking your hand. "We shall leave soon, before someone can see us."

"Someone like me, for an example?" the rough voice sounded behind the two of you and Sigurd pulled you to his back, unsheathing his ax, ready to fight whoever had discovered the two of you.

At the door of the hall, that tall and white-haired man Ivar had hired not long from that night. He told you it was a bodyguard - "I'm a cripple, I need a bodyguard!" he said. But that man was looking at the two of you with plenty of awareness of your relationship as if it wasn't a surprise for him to see you and Sigurd together that way.

"You decided to fuck the wife of a king, boy... What do you think would happen to the two of you, uh?" he said, unsheathing his sword, causing chills down your spine to think the plans you had with Sigurd would end up in a fight like that. "You would fuck everywhere behind his back and he would never notice the stains in his children's eyes? No... King Ivar is no fool, boy." he insisted on calling Sigurd a boy, pointing his sword towards him. "But you can still save your skin, prince. Despite what you did, you're still his brother. A son of Ragnar, after all... People will speak of her betrayal. Of how the queen lured her brother in law into her bed... Poor prince Sigurd caught in the mermaid's chant. You're a man, after all, boy. Our dicks have needs and no one will condemn you for getting your dick wet when she was offering this to you so freely. This story will spread all over Kattegat if you just deliver the woman and leave now..."

His terrible ways to speak, so unpolite and offensive, were getting you sick: he was offering Sigurd to put the whole guilt on you and get himself clean? What kind of demon did Ivar hire to follow your steps?

However, it wasn't a surprise: an evil man like your husband wouldn't attract anything but his pairs.

"On the other hand, I can just kill you here and then, nobody will prevent us from leaving and we'll be long far away from here when the flies find your body days before my brother can even notice your absence!" Sigurd spat back, holding the ax with a stronger grip.

He was disposed to fight for you. But the last thing you wanted was that white-haired beast to hurt your prince.

"Please, stop this madness!" you begged, trying to appeal to that man's reason - if someone with his kind of thoughts could follow any kind of reasonable thread. "You have been watching us, I know that, but if you did, then you saw the things your king does to me! I didn't ask to be married to him neither he had to do it if he didn't want! Why in the nine realms is he treating me like that? Is this what a man shall do to his wife? I just searched for the proper treatment, hands that would caress me instead of slapping my face for mistakes that aren't mine! It's not my fault that your king can't please a woman nor produce children! He cannot blame it on me and I would have accepted him anyway if he wasn't a monster!" you yelled, but the bodyguard just sighed.

"This is not of my business, woman," he said, shutting you down with your hopes that he could ever let the two of you pass peacefully. "I was hired to prevent you from leaving with your brother in law and I'll fulfill the task I was paid for. I am a man who honors his word."

"So am I," said Sigurd, angrily unsheathing the second ax and getting himself ready to battle. "I told Y/N I would save her from my brother's stupid hands and I will, at any costs!"

The bodyguard smiled at you, debauched.

"You must have a great pussy, woman... Your husband paid me a high price in gold and now your lover wants to pay me a high price in blood... Both of them wanting to be the only one to sink a cock into your holes. You must be terrific!" he growled, advanced without a warning, engaging with Sigurd in a battle you knew could cost his life but, at the lighter bad scenario, would wake the whole house.

Including your psycho husband...

The candle flames were already starting to show up at the windows telling you the tragedy was about to happen. It wasn't time to be honored nor to follow rules.

You knew you couldn't interfere in a single-combat like that. You knew Sigurd was proving his value and even showing he was worthy of your love. However, you rather have him alive and well by your side away from there, than having him covered in blood, winning that battle just to lose his life to his angry brother that would come soon.

Ivar wouldn't ask...

He wouldn't wait...

So, didn't you.

Taking the chance while the white-haired man was distracted by Sigurd's movements, trying to hit him and not being hit by his axes; you took a stone that you could barely lift. Mutely asking the gods' forgiveness for breaking the rules like that, you took the right moment when a strike from Sigurd approached that man's head from you enough and you hit it with the stone as hard as you could with a small squeal and your eyes closed.

Your fingers let go of the stone as soon as you felt its weight finding some resistance against that man's head and his grunt of pain. Shaking, you opened your eyes to see Sigurd looking at you, surprised. The white-haired man was on the ground; his head bleeding.

It wasn't honored. It wasn't right. But Sigurd knew it was his only chance.

Your only chance.

"Y/N!" Ivar's voice resounded inside the hall and you saw Ubbe and Hvitserk coming through the door.

There wasn't time anymore.

Sigurd caught you by the hand and his eyes looked straight at yours.

"Come!"

The two of you started running through the woods towards the docks. It didn't take too much for you to hear that characteristic sound not too far from where the two of you were now: Ivar had his chariot and the horses were right after you.

There wasn't time for a safe crossing: as soon as Sigurd and you reached the docks, he pulled you inside the water, swimming with you a little forward on the sea to reach the boat he strategically had placed a little away from the coast. It wasn't too big, nothing to go too far or travel too long through the sea, but Sigurd had some plans and he knew where to find good horses that would take you away from Kattegat and Ivar once and for all.

The two of you were already near the boat when your husband's voice was loudly heard from the docks, yelling furiously.

"SIGURD, YOU BASTARD! I'LL HUNT YOU UNTIL MIDGARD'S CONFINES, YOU MOTHERFUCKER TRAITOROUS VIPER!"

Your eyes reached his image at the docks and you saw Ubbe and Hvitserk landing from their horses, standing beside him.

Ubbe came closer, probably trying to calm Ivar down as he was always trying to do, but Ivar took the chance and you saw the worst: your furious husband took his older brother's bow from his back and aimed an arrow, shooting towards the two of you. You only had the time to hear Ubbe yelling Ivar's name and pull Sigurd aside, preventing the arrow from crossing his chest or any vital spot, but not from hitting his arm, causing a growl of pain when he fell into the boat.

You went for him, but thank the gods the wound wasn't too harsh: the arrow crossed near the skin and it was easy for him to break the back of it, pulling it out of his arm, pressing the wound with a piece of your dress you ripped to tie around his arm and cover the wound.

"Fucking bastard!" Sigurd cursed low, as Ivar's voice could still be heard, cursing from the docks when Ubbe took the bow from his hands, preventing him from shooting another stolen arrow towards you this time.

"Enough!" Ubbe stated, angrily.

"He stole my wife, and you keep protecting that viper? I should set this arrow on fire and shot to their boat so both of them would die or be forced to come back! Bastards! That's what they are! A treacherous bastard and a filthy whore!"

"I said enough!" Ubbe insisted, looking at his younger brother. "You never wanted her! You treated her like shit since the two of you got married! You don't want her even now, Ivar! Your biggest anger now is that Sigurd was the one taking her away because if it was any of us into that boat, you wouldn't give a fuck! You even spoke about sharing her with Hvitserk more than once! Stop being a hypocrite and stick to the facts: you don't love that woman and Sigurd is the brother you hate the most. So, stop yelling... You got rid of both tonight."

Ivar frowned.

Ubbe was right: with your treason, he was released from the vows he made in your favor and he could marry whoever he wanted - and maybe he would marry Freydis and turn her into a queen just to spit on your image knowing you hated her with all your heart! And, as a bonus, Sigurd wouldn't be there anymore to spoil his mornings with his despicable voice and disgusting argumentations, always trying to make him a fool in front of everyone.

He was free from the two worse obstacles impeding his happiness. But the price was too high to be paid.

"People will mock on me because my bitchy wife left with my hateful brother under my nose!" he yelled, full of anger.

"Then stop the scandal and announce them all you expelled Sigurd and Y/N from Kattegat when you discovered their treason," Hvitserk suggested. "No one will ever know if you stop yelling the truth around like a choking crow."

"You know! Ubbe knows! And Whitehair!" he growled.

"You pay Whitehair enough for his mouth to be shut. And neither of us has any interest in spreading the word, Ivar," Hvitserk stated again. "The woman deserves some peace. She suffered enough in your hands. Let her go..."

"Sigurd loves her," Ubbe said. "I wouldn't have any reason to tell anybody the truth and allow you to have a reason to hunt my brother wherever he goes. I may never see Sigurd again after tonight. I rather know he's happy somewhere far away from here. Let us go home, Ivar.  Just let them go..."

You could see the icy blues of your husband still looking at you. Those blues would hunt you forever, you knew. But Ivar went back to his chariot, and soon you saw them leaving the docks that soon dove into the dense mist of the night.

Sigurd started paddling, taking the boat further and further from the coast. And soon, it was just the two of you in the night.

"I can't believe it worked," you mumbled, breaking the silence after a long time. "I can't believe I'm finally free!"

Sigurd smiled at you, caressing your face with one of his hands. The wound in his arms had stopped bleeding so strongly. You took off your marriage ring and placed it together with your jewels.

"I'll sell it... All of it. I don't need any of these things."

"I brought some valuable things as well," Sigurd said, sighing. “Tomorrow we shall reach Vestfold. Then, we sell these things, I'll pick up the horses I have prepared in a barn for us and we'll be free, my love." he said as you moved to lay yourself against his chest, kissing his neck softly.

His free hand touched your hair caressing it slowly.

"I'll take you far away from here. And then, I'll marry you, my princess..."

"And we shall be happy," you said.

"And we shall be happy," he repeated, sighing in relief.

The two of you were finally free. And you could only pray Ivar would follow his way and leave you alone for good.

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[couch-house]

Wow people like that anon are why we need to be more educated about manipulation via self-destruction. We all need to understand and know that if we constantly, repeatedly "make" someone feel bad enough to consider harmful actions just through TINY contradictions it might just not be us and we don't have to put up with all the stress, discomfort, depression, etc. that comes from it. And sometimes it's really obvious when it's manipulation, it's not NEVER an option.

exactly bro. i’m gonna do something real fun and talk about my abuser, who did this for years! under the cut

so im just gonna come right out and say it so i dont gotta give him an epithet every time, but his name was dibby/dib. he goes by a different name now i think but from what ive heard it seems like ppl r familiar with him by that name as well. w/e for his privacy i guess ill just leave his current name out of it. anyway i knew and was friends with/dated dib for about 7 years before we cut each other out.

ANYWAY dib had/has legitimate mental health problems, yes, but he also chose to use those problems as excuses for his manipulative and abusive behavior. dib had bipolar and would experience dramatic mood swings. unfortunate but normal and okay! if you experience mood swings and suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger, you probably know that, if you recognize this as a disorder, you should let the people around you know, tell them how you’re feeling, and do what you can to manage the situation.  dib would instead say “oh no i feel a mood swing coming. :( quick, distract me!” which, again is a clumsy but fair way to handle that, EXCEPT when it inevitably failed to cheer him up, he would blame us for failing, call us bad friends, insist we didn’t care about him, and isolate to only talking with his favorite person (for a while that was me). 

when dib got upset he would blow up, block me for days or weeks, and then later when he calmed down and felt lonely he’d add me back with some half-apology and assume everything was fine again. here’s a list i kept of things that upset him and had this result! it was called “things not to do”

tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

fail to tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

ask dib if it’s okay to do things

talk to him when he’s feeling antisocial

offer critique when it isn’t asked for

ask dib not to do something

talk to him in the tags (when not friends)

spam things he doesn’t like/isn’t involved in ((the relevant examples are bug blogs, bunnies, and the pbs kids show arthur. not because they trigger him, just because he doesn’t like them))

talk about/mention people that are my friends that he doesn’t like

offer solutions when he just needs confirmation

make it about you

yeah. keep in mind every one of those bullet points corresponds to at least one time he either faked his own death or blew up and blocked me for a week.

the bigger problem though was his suicide ideation. dib had a pretty shit life and pretty shit mental health and unfortunately was legitimately depressed and suicidal. he needed help but, living in america, really couldnt afford it most of the time. this is okay. if you or someone you know is unable to get medical health for depression or suicide ideation you know how hard it is to live with. sometimes there’s not a lot you can do and that person will Just Be Depressed an just Want To Die and theres not a lot you can do to help, even if you try your best. that of course, is not the problem with dib. 

the problem was repeatedly, starting i think when i criticized him for pushing everyone away by insisting no one cares about him and not putting any effort towards others, would make some vague allusion to feeling suicidal and abruptly log off and stop answering messages. this can be an okay way to deal with yourself if you’re upset BUT. THE NEXT DAY, after i frantically thought he was going to Attempt and repeatedly messaged him to try to deter him, check on him, ask if he was okay (he really just went to sleep, which again is fine), he decided to PRETEND TO BE DEAD.  he told his gf and maybe one other person he was alive but threatened them to stay quiet and pretend he was dead or he WOULD commit. so his gf at the time had to play along and all of us then-kids were freaking out that our friend had died, only for him to decide later that he’d had his fun and he could now announce “no i just logged off for a little bit :)”

he did this. many times. make some allusion to wanting to attempt then abruptly stop answering messages, knowing what people would assume. (this was one of the pieces of testimony i did not include verbatim in that rk post: i was told rk would do very similar things; part of why i thought the post was necessary. ive lived through the other side of that and i dont want ANYONE else to). i think two separate times that he did this, i was sent home from school early because i was crying so hard (my best friend let me think i was responsible for his death. he did this on purpose. he did this repeatedly. thats fucked up)

one time he posted a supposedly queued suicide note post! and all my friends were terrified he’d died! so i remember someone anonymously messaged kylee henke asking for advice, and i (who at the time he was mad at and had already blocked) got fed up with it (again because he’d done this so many times and i knew by now that there was no point in getting upset, he was just doing it for sympathy or attention or w/e) and messaged his mom on facebook asking her to check on him. he was fine, just like. crying in his room. also sidenote he got BIG MAD that someone told his mom and was posting when he was found out liek WHO TOLD >:( n i was like :)). bc bro if ur really abt to attempt i have an Obligation to get someone irl to check on you and protect you. but obviously you werent since this was like the 20th fucking time youve done this 🙃

he was a huge pizza shit for other reasons too but the main relevant one was that he would use his mental illness as an excuse for his deplorable behavior and blame others for things literally no one can reasonably do anythign about and then constantly and i DO MEAN CONSTANTLY use his own life and suicide ideation as a trump card.

anyway if you know someone who repeatedly threatens suicide or pretends to commit suicide by purposefully alluding to it before ghosting you, or posting a suicide note meant to blame others, you need to get out of there right now. that is not okay and you should not be dealing with that. ive taken years to get used to the idea that if i criticize my friends, they won’t kill themselves

[miximax-hell]

...This should have been published the 10th of January. I queued it ages ago (back when my last post was published), but Tumblr farted and decided not to post it. Which is just fantastic. It’s not the first time it decides to screw up the queue, but it’s the first time it happens to me on this blog. So annoying. This means it’s coming a few days late, but I hope you all still had a fantastic EnYaga Day!

As I prepared for True EnYaga Day back in October, I found again this old doodle of mine--the base for what would later become the final design of EnYaga. I thought it might be fun to share it and use it as an excuse to talk about this subject AGAIN, and... that was good enough for me, really.

You guys know me and there’s probably very little reason to do so, but I have never really talked about the reasons behind this miximax, have I? Well, if there is a day to indulge in that, it’s EnYaga Day, so let’s get to it!

As usual, more under the cut.

Despite Tumblr’s betrayal, this does have a perk: I get to revise this post before it’s published, which is great, because I’m happy to report that things are better now than when I first wrote it. In the original version, I mentioned that my life at the time was a little... paused, so there wasn’t really a lot to say. Among the only news worth sharing, I sent an oil painting to a friend a couple of months ago and it arrived very fast and completely safe, so that was great! It was a Professor Layton-themed painting, but now that I don’t have it at home anymore, I’m tempted to make another one... (If I do, chances are more FudoLay content will arrive here swiftly after lol) Other than that, I’d just started my classes again, but I was still desperately looking for a job. At least, classes made me feel like I wasn’t completely wasting every single day, so I was more cheerful than I was during summer. (Funny, because my group of friends at uni used to say that they could only smile during summer, but I was pretty miserable during those months. ww;)

Thankfully, though, I can say I now have a job! And it’s great!! ...The conditions aren’t so great, but at least I’m back to work as a game designer. I’m learning so much and I feel very motivated to work, even if it’s technically a collaboration and I will only get money once the game is published--in other words, when the game starts bringing money our way. This is far from ideal, but I honestly had no other options and I’m having a blast working on this, so I hope something cool will come out of it! For now, I would ask you to keep your eyes on Eskema Games and maybe check out the company’s latest game, Delta Squad? I had absolutely NOTHING to do with that game because it was released way before I joined, but supporting it supports the company I work for, which always comes in handy! It also underperformed, so it could use all the love you guys can give it.

Also, let me quickly point something out: about a year ago, an anon asked me if i was going to include Danganronpa characters in this project. The question is here, in case anyone needs a reminder: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/181991994534/hey-there-since-youre-doing-miximaxs-with-game Well, I FINALLY got my hands on the DR Trilogy for PS4, so I’ll be looking into that and seeing what I can find! If that anon is still around, I hope I can make them happy.

But let’s cut to the chase already!

As I always make sure to clarify, yes, I do massively ship Endou and Yagami. But there’s thankfully much more to EnYaga (the miximax--if I need to talk about the ship again, I’ll just call it Endou x Yagami) than just “yeah, I ship them.” In order to understand the reasons behind this combination, though, we must venture into two very different subjects: what reasons there are to choose Yagami to begin with, and the life story of yours truly. I swear both are important to get the full picture, but I’ll keep the latter as brief and free of unnecessary information as possible, even if it’s definitely the longest and most complex part. So, without any further ado, let’s see what makes this miximax valid within the logic of this project.

A big chunk of what makes EnYaga work was explained exactly three years ago, here: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/131215636268/when-the-king-enters-the-room-the-world-stops-and

The tl;dr would be that Endou plays as a goalkeeper, but also as a libero! Being such radically different positions, it’s to be expected that he would need two different miximaxes, because it would be rather difficult to find an aura that improves his field skills (shooting power, speed, etc.) and his goalkeeping abilities at the same time. Thankfully, Yagami gives him the exact abilities a good libero needs to be able to excel--especially when that libero has the pressure of being part of most of the strong hissatsus the team can pull off. So, for more info on EnYaga’s powers, please check the link above. (And note that, of course, this miximax only marginally improves Endou’s goalkeeping capabilities.)

I have also talked in length about the relationship between Endou and Yagami, but here’s a very brief summary. During the in-game events of IE2, Endou gave Yagami hope when all she wanted was to die to atone for her sins, thus saving her life in the process. In return, she wanted to give him the strength to fight when he needed it most as a way to repay his kindness towards her.

Yagami’s innate abilities and the bond they share are the more logical reasons behind this miximax. There is, however, one extra reason to include this miximax in the project.

There have always been three main rules here when it comes to choosing auras:

1. Only characters that come from universes predominantly inhabited by humans (or very human-like creatures, like Zelda’s Hylians).

2. Only one character from every franchise, unless they are Level-5 franchises. In that case, I may use up to two per franchise. Examples of this are Danball Senki/Little Battlers eXperience (with Toramaru and Megane) and Professor Layton (with Fudou and Shishido).

3. One aura coming from every single (and proper) Inazuma Eleven game on the market. Those being Inazuma Eleven, IE2: Fire, IE2: Blizzard, IE3: Spark, IE3: Bomber, IE3: Ogre, IEGO: Light, IEGO: Dark, IEGO Chrono Stone: Raimei, IEGO Chrono Stone: Neppu, IEGO Galaxy: Supernova, IEGo Galaxy: Big Bang, Inazuma Eleven Strikers, IE Strikers 2012 XTreme, and IEGO Strikers 2013. I’m not counting Everyday, SD nor unreleased titles. So far, I have 7 out of 15.

From the beginning, I have wanted Endou to have nothing but Inazuma Eleven-only miximaxes. I mean, he’s the main character and all!

Needless to say, Yagami is part of the Inazuma Eleven miximaxes--in fact, she takes the IE2 Blizzard spot, if anyone is curious about that very specific detail. She is obviously a very predominant character in that game, having a relevant impact during the final match against The Genesis and even (spoiler alert for a 10 years old game) by injuring Kazemaru earlier, because he didn’t just leave like he did in the anime--Yagami sent him to the hospital when he started matching The Genesis’s power. Since she’s a main character in that game, and considering that many of the other important characters introduced in it become part of the teams that make up this project (such as Hiroto, Midorikawa and maaaybe Saginuma), Yagami was the perfect candidate. She was also arguably the strongest among the remaining main characters of IE2, and the only midfielder. Not to mention the bond she shares with Endou, which only rounds it all up even more.

So, as a brief summary, Yagami is an Inazuma Eleven character (which is exactly what I wanted for Endou) and a very strong player, she provides Endou with everything he would need to be a good libero (incredible speed, great shooting strength, being a midfielder and the stamina that inherently comes with it, powerful hissatsus, and so on), she shares a canonical bond with Endou, the contrast between their personalities is super interesting to explore, and there are reasons why even she would want him to take her power. He can hardly have it better! It makes a lot of sense, and it’s all heavily based on canon, so I don’t need to explain much in that regard. That’s always convenient.

But there is another side to all of this. My side.

I first started working on miximaxes with the idea of only making 4 or 5. I simply meant to give extra love to some of my favourite characters to make myself and a few friends happy. This never became a full-fledged project until my good friend Heather, who used to be on Tumblr under the username @ishidoshuuji, said she wanted to be able to reblog the Seitei x Yuuichi miximax I had drawn for her. In other words, this: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/129863262149/well-it-was-about-time-i-started-using-this-blog

Before that, miximax-hell used to be a private blog: one of those you can only check out if you have the password. I never thought ANY stranger would be interested in it, so why expose myself like that? It would only make me feel bad. I could have never imagined over a hundred people would follow me here, and even less so considering that only about 10 of my friends follow this blog. So I have to thank Heather because, even if 100 isn’t a big number at all here on Tumblr, I still appreciate each and every person who stops by and it’s helped me meet some incredibly lovely people.

Back to the subject, though. This story is directly linked to MamoDai’s. The important part of it was that EnYaga’s design isn’t mine, and so isn’t MamoDai: the former is completely not mine (even if, as the sketch above suggests, the concept was first doodled by me), while the latter was only partially mine. The thing, though, is that the same person made EnYaga and “collaborated” on the creation of MamoDai, which meant I let them into this very personal solo project twice. If you want to check out the full story, though, you can read it here: https://miximax-hell.tumblr.com/post/142160652319/you-should-have-seen-this-one-coming-come-on

As I was saying, miximax-hell is a solo project. It’s something for me to enjoy, for me to think about, for me to develop, for me to improve at designing character, and for me to decide on. I set the rules and I come up with suitable matches--or what I think are suitable matches, that is. ww I’m definitely open to suggestions if anyone is willing to share their thoughts with me, and fanart is always, always, ALWAYS welcome, of course, but I don’t borrow other people’s ideas nor designs. Not because those designs and ideas aren’t fantastic, nor because I’m not allowed to, but because the point of this blog is to have fun and improve my skills. If I don’t do it myself, it’s kind of pointless, so I prefer a bad design made by me over a great design by someone else. Also, if people were to check all of these things out, I wanted it to be because of my work, not because someone super well-known was part of it and people were desperate to get more content from them.

When I first came up with this project, though, someone very close to me wanted to be part of it. Not because they found it interesting per se, but simply because it was mine. I had previously declined an offer to join one of their projects because I lacked the necessary skill, so they wanted to join mine instead. And don’t get me wrong--I appreciate the interest even now! But, again, it beat the point and I had to refuse. Looking back, I’m very glad I didn’t give in, but I felt awful back then and this person must have felt really bad too.

That’s why I made that exception and suggested, “Hey, why don’t we create a miximax together?” That’s how MamoDai was born. But while the interest in working on MamoDai seemed... scarce, this person came up with and gave me something out of their own accord: the EnYaga miximax design I still use to this day.

Now, here’s the thing: EnYaga was a proper gift that person made for me, and I always honour gifts. If it had been a random doodle, like I have received others in the past, it would have ended there. But when someone puts true effort and time into making something especifically FOR ME, regardless of what happens between us later, I still treasure it forever. And this gift came from a person who, apparently, really wanted to be part of this project when I first came up with it, which, honestly, put me in a tight spot. The least I could do was accept this design, which I loved almost as much as I loved them, and incorporate it to my lineup.

EnYaga was going to happen regardless, because I was working on it myself, but this person beat me to it (with such incredible quality, too, which I would never be able to hold a candle to) and, after what I made them go through with my continuous rejections, I had to honour them somehow. It was my way of saying, “I can’t let you do this for me, but I deeply appreciate the thought.”

This person is now out of my life, though. This means that, honestly, I could just get rid of the design. They would never know, and I would be happier with something of my own even if it sucked in comparison. They would never feel offended either--not like they would even if they knew, because it’s obvious they don’t care about me anymore. It would be easy and 100% painless for all parties involved.

But EnYaga is a token of the bond we once shared and I treasure that, even though I don’t want anything to do with that person anymore. It portrays the fun and happy times, not the sad and bitter ending. Happiness is always something worth remembering, isn’t it? And maybe, just maybe, thanks to the wonderful people I’m close to and my eternal love towards Endou x Yagami, I might one day be able to completely forgive the bad and focus on the good, so I can smile when I look at EnYaga and think of this person. I look forward to a day when there isn’t an ounce of bitterness left in my heart (although I am one revengeful and spiteful piece of poo, so it might never happen). And for that possibility alone, it might be worth it to keep making this one exception and let this miximax be someone else’s. Especially now that I have DoYaga to call my own.

So that’s it, folks: not only do Endou and Yagami make for a sick combination in theory, but it’s also a miximax with deep sentimental value for me in so many different ways. So even if it had been someone else’s idea and the two characters were a terrible match in all senses, chances are I would have still kept it. Thank goodness it wasn’t the case. ww

And all because I didn’t finish the design fast enough on my own. May that be the lesson to learn from this: hurry the heck up, self.

[seungmin-jpeg]

Stray Kids On Tumblr / Felix

Chan // Woojin // Minho // Changbin // Hyunjin // Jisung // Felix // Seungmin // Jeongin

I have waited a long time to write this one 

Half the reason i started this series was to write for him tbh

Anyways

Started his blog long before he became a trainee 

But A LOT of effort into it

Spent hours looking for the perfect desktop theme

Then spent a day working on it to make it have is own little ‘felix flare’ 

And then spent hoooooours working on his mobile header

Naturally very proud of his blog

Works really hard to make good posts

Majority is just memes 

Or recreations of memes

Reblogs a lot of old vines

He’s the type of blog to get all those weird random asks from people

And he always has witty comebacks

So sometimes his posts will blow up

He just has that typical tumblr humor 

And it really made his blog blow up

Ends up having one famous post with like 100k reblogs and is still growing and he still thinks its the dumbest posts he’s made his whole life

But thats tumblr for you

Sometimes he’d be working on a big post 

And then tumblr would do that dumb thing 

Where it freezes on you and you cant post things

The amounts of times his family heard him yelling from up in his room as tumblr crashed on him yet again

anyways

Honestly wasn’t super aware of kpop 

But like 

Of course he knew about it

And then he made it through the audition 

And he was like oh hey

I kinda gotta figure out whats going on here

So he 

Like the smart person he is

Searches through the tumblr tag

And oh yikes

The majority of the tag was bts and got7

And he was like 

Sweet

And then staff at the company told him watching kdramas will always help him learn korean

So 

Because of this extreme change in his life 

And the need to learn the language as fast as possible

He searches for some good kdramas to watch

So again he turns to tumblr

And he finds some good recommendations 

But he cant reblog it to his main blog 

Because ??? he cant expose himself like this to all he’s meme followers

So he real quick makes a side blog for all his kpop/kdrama needs

And reblogs a few kdrama recommendations 

And a few kpop song recommendations as well

But he’s only find rec’s for all those old classic kdramas 

Like playful kiss and boys over flowers 

Not really his speed yah know

So thats when he stumbles across your blog 

He had just found one of your posts about kdramas 

And he real quick messages you on anon and was like hey have any recs

And you were like YES!!!1!!1!

So you gave him a good list

Grouping them by themes and such 

And then highlighted some of your favorites 

He ended up being drawn to one title 

“Uncontrollably fond” 

And you had mentioned that it was really sad

So he googled it to try and see what it was about

And when you google it one of the first things it says about the drama is 

“A man and woman meet again after they broke up in the past.”

So he was like alright that one it is

Catch him later trying to find out who wrote that description because there was so much more to that drama

He literally could not put it down

Lowkey forgot half way through he was supposed to be trying to learn korean

Watched an episode every night before bed

Because yah know he was packing and stuff

Part of it helped with the stress of leaving his home and such

The other part was just because it was super addicting to watch

Of course he had to take a small break of watching it just because life got to hectic with packing and everything

But he had an overlay on the way to korea

So he watched the drama at the airport

Catch this teenage boy trying not to cry in the airport omg

As he sat in the airport he was like

I gotta talk to someone about this

So he searched up your blog again and left an ask

And because you’re always on tumblr you got it right away. 

“Im sitting in the airport on the verge of tears because of uncontrollably fond why’d you recommend this to me” 

You chuckled to yourself as you read his ask

“I told you it’d be sad!” you finally decided to answer

You had totally forgotten about the person who had asked for recs

It was nice to see them again

The two of you talked back and forth for a bit

And then you got a message 

“I got tired of leaving asks so i’m just going to message you now. A lot easier.” 

You asked him when his flight was, and how much of the show you had left

And he was like 

Not enough time 

He was to invested now

You recommended maybe waiting to watch the last few episodes until he was alone and had a box of tissues

Earning a laugh from him

Like the curious person you are

You asked him where he was going 

And he just kinda said korea and then asked about the soundtrack to the drama

So you didn’t push anymore

Because it seemed like something he didn’t really want to talk about 

So inteast you talked about the soundtrack

Found out he really really liked the song “a little braver”

So you listened to the song while you talked with him

While you waited for him to get back to you

You scrolled through his blog

It was kinda sad looking and had the default theme 

And he had a random mix of kpop and kdrama recs

So you asked him if he was new to the whole kpop/kdrama world

And he was like “kinda” 

Cue you saying if he ever wanted any recs on anything to ask you because you got him

And he just chuckled and said he had to catch his flight, but he’d remember that

And that he’d message you as soon as he finished the drama

Later in the week you got a message from some random meme blog

About uncontrollably fond 

And you were like wtf

Why is this popular weird meme blog messaging me about a kdrama

So you were like um who???

And he was like shoot wrong blog!!

Then switched to his kpop blog

You laughed to yourself thinking about how yet another person had been converted to the dark side

Little did you know

He was PART OF the dark side

You followed his main blog too

Because why not

And the two of you talked a lot 

You found out what a big jokester he was

And just how funny he could be

But that he was also super emotional and wore his feelings on his sleeve

The two of you went from talking about kdramas and random kpop things to little parts of your day

He’d complain to you about learning korean and the language barrier issues he’d always run into

And how tired he was at the end of the day

And you’d tell him about school

And the little things about your country you felt like he would like hearing about 

The two of you never even exchanged names

Just referred to each other as your urls 

Months past

He wasn’t on tumblr as much 

Even his main blog started to stop posting 

Which he always at least had queued up stuff

You’d leave him little encouraging messages every now and then

But he’d always take forever to respond

Instead 

You occupied yourself with the new show jyp was putting out 

Becoming way to invested for your own good 

And getting especially drawn to a certain member named felix

Something felt familiar about him

And you felt really drawn to him

But you just assumed it was because of his personality 

And the fact that he could speak english 

Then the dreaded day came 

Felix was eliminated 

And you felt like the world had swallowed all your joy

You decided to message your kdrama friend 

Just a simple hey

And he actually responded to your disbelief 

He seemed just as down as you 

So you two just ended up being sad together 

And then you were like 

Isn’t it like 3am there?

He was like yah

You were like ??? go to bed ???

He said he couldn’t fall asleep so you suggested watching a movie

So the two of you headed over to rabb.it

Ended up watching Your Name 

Half way through the movie he ended up asking you why you were so upset

So you told him that your favorite person from a survival show had been eliminated 

And you could see he wasn’t typing anything after you had sent the message off

So you asked him why he was upset

You watched him type something 

Then delete it 

Type it up again 

Then delete it again

It went on for a bit before you little ‘pop’ sounded and his message came in

“I got eliminated off a survival show” it read

And you were ??? 

Do you take this seriously or not ???

So you just kinda said “are you okay”

And he was like maybe

So you asked how he was maybe okay

He replied by saying that it was nice to have someone to talk to who wasn’t in the show itself but also wasn’t family

Youre super confused now because this is felix you’ve been talking too???

When you actually sat back and thought about it 

The timeline all made sense

It would make sense if this was actually felix

The movie now long forgotten played on as you asked him if he was really felix 

And he responded with a funny little smilie face

“I am but you really can’t tell anyone” 

“Felix aren’t you supposed to not be doing this? I thought they took away phones and stuff tho??” 

He explained everything and it all made sense but you were still shook to the core because youre talking with the felix lee right now

But you took the chance to tell him everything every fan wanted to tell him at that moment

You told him how proud you and everyone else was of him

And how people were already working on making sure both him and minho ended up back in stray kids

And by the way he talked you could tell he was happier 

Not much later you were excitedly congratulating him on making it back in

And everything was perfect 

Because the weird person asking you about kdramas

Months and months later ended up being the person you loved the most 

Without even knowing it

The two of you had a special secret friendship that no one knew about

And no one would know about for a long long time

And you were honestly okay with that

[justthinkingofwaystoavoidbusses]

Together

Can you do a David Webster x Reader!Air Force Mechanic? I was thinking that David and the reader met each other when David noticed that the reader was reading Shakespeare. They then become very close through letters and eventually meeting up in Europe and falling in love. Thanks! - anon 

---

You were on a rare break, you’re commanding officer had been abruptly called away to a meeting so you had an hour off until lunch time. Around the camp you could see various companies training for battle, and you could tell which CO was the hardest on his men just from the sheer volume of his yelling. You swore you could see the vein in his neck from across the field as he screamed at his men who were stood perfectly at attention.

It had been a week since you arrived and you still hadn’t gotten used to the Georgian heat, you had started training to be an air force mechanic further up North where the temperature was more preferable but you’re whole squad had been moved to camp Toccoa and there was nothing you could do about it. You had been told to read over the manuals they had given you at the start of training but you had already read it cover to cover five times, so you were sat out in the sun enjoying a copy of one of your favourite Shakespeare plays, Much Ado About Nothing.

During times like this you needed a little comedy in your life, and though Shakespeare may be long gone he certainly had a way with words like no other. You wished you had packed more to bring with you when you left home, you had an entire collection next to your bed at home and you could still remember all your favourite passages. At school you had to study his plays in your English class and you had fallen in love, doing your best to get your hands on as many of his plays as you could, it was just a shame that no one else seemed to like his work. They always found it boring, or too hard to understand, but the way the words flowed made perfect sense to you.

You had been sat close to the tent they served food in, and you could smell lunch almost cooked. It wasn’t the most appealing of aromas but you were starving and anything would do though you usually waited for most of the men to take their place inside first so you didn’t have to deal with them queuing up with you.

Soldiers began to trickle inside as they were let go for lunch but you paid them no mind. In the past week most of them had gotten used to having you around camp and now mostly left you alone, you only looked up when a shadow blocked the light on your page. “Can I help you?” you asked, squinting up at the figure.

“Is that Shakespeare?” the man asked, an excited lilt in his voice.

You nodded slowly, “Yeah. Why?”

“I love Shakespeare,” he shifted and you could now see his face. He was fairly tall, had a strong jaw line and bright blue eyes.

You smiled, “Yeah, me too.”

“You getting lunch?” he asked, when you nodded he offered his hand, you took it and he hoisted you up. “So, what’s your name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N. You?”

“David Webster,” he replied with an easy smile. You joined the back of the line and quickly grabbed the food that was meant to be a sandwich and took a place together on a bench near the back of the tent that was empty. “What do you do around here?”

“Air force mechanic. What about you?”

“I’m a private in Easy Company.”

You chewed on your sandwich, “That the one always running up the hill.”

He let out a long suffering sigh and nodded. You chuckled, “Sucks to be you.”

Another soldier walked past, you recognised him as one from a different company who didn’t approve of you being around camp. “Women should be at home, you know, or in the kitchen. Why don’t you go make me some seconds,” he taunted.

“Go away, asshole,” you shoved him away, he stumbled but laughed to himself as he walked away to join his friends. You glared at his retreating form, used to his remarks by now, and bit angrily at your sandwich.

Webster had his eyebrows raised in shock at the encounter, “I can see he’s not in your good books.”

“No, and if he were I would burn my library,” you retorted without thinking, a smirk coming to your face when you realised what you had said. It took it a second for it to click in Webster's mind but when he did he laughed at the quote. “You like Shakespeare then, Web? What’d you do before you came here?”

“English Literature at Harvard.” You let out a low whistle and he blushed slightly, “You?”

“A guy in my town went to university to take English and he sort of tutors me. I didn’t have enough money to go myself,” you shrugged. Webster felt bad, guilty that he had more than enough money for these things but you didn't seem to be bother by it so he pushed the thoughts aside. “So, what are your favourite Shakespeare plays?”

---

David,

They have us doing full checks on the C-47’s at this camp, I think the invasion may happen soon, but I’m sure you knew that already. Us mechanics have been split into two groups, who goes with the pilot and who stays to cross over at a later date. I’m going in with the pilot so I might see you over there, wherever it is they decide to drop us. Good luck and stay safe, remember your training and you’ll be fine.

Y/N

---

Y/N

We got the briefing. The jump is gonna happen in the next week and I’m terrified. Did I ever tell you I had the opportunity to be an officer, one of the ones behind a desk and safe from all this. I turned it down because I wanted the experience of being a foot soldier, for my book, which I now regret. What if I don’t make it out of the plane? What if I land in the middle of an enemy camp? There’s so many things that could go wrong I feel I might explode if I think about it. You better stay safe as well.

David

---

David,

Don’t be an idiot. You’ll get dropped in the DZ with the rest of your company who’ll have your back. Everything will work out okay. Screw your courage to the sticking place, god dammit. I trust that you’ll make it through. Believe me when I say you’ll be okay. Besides, I’ll be over there to keep an eye out for you.

Y/N

---

Operation Market Garden was a failure and everyone knew it and it hadn't even begun yet. You had been sent in to gather up and fix some army trucks that had been left behind in a retreat, the enemy had since moved out so it was only a quick in an out mission with the other mechanics in your squad. You had internally complained that they had you getting trucks not planes but this is what you had been trained to do, so do it you did.

You managed to salvage the trucks and bring them back to HQ where you could really work on the engine. You were deep in the engine when you heard the gravel crunch behind you, you didn’t expect to hear the voice you did, “Y/N?”

You spun around and your face lit up as you saw your friend, “Web! What are you doing here?”

“Passing through, gonna take a town later today they say. Just stocking up on some ammo.”

“Well good luck,” you couldn’t keep the smile off your face after not seeing your closest friend for so long.

Someone called for him to hurry up and he gave you an apologetic smile and you waved him off and let him go, as he walked back to join his company you couldn't help but notice how he had filled out a bit more and the scruffy look he was now sporting only added to his looks. For the first time since you had met you actually felt attracted to him, wanted him for something more than friendship.

You quickly stopped your thought track and buried yourself back into working on the engine. You couldn’t think of him like that, especially in the middle of a war.  

---

“Are you Y/N Y/L/N?” a young private came up to you the next day.

“Yeah, why?” you asked with a small frown.

“You’ve been requested in the med bay. By a private David Webster.”

Your eyes widened, “Is he okay?”

The private nodded, “Yes. This way miss.”

You followed after him to the med bay where you quickly spotted Webster propped up on one of the beds. “What happened?” you rushed over to him.

“Got shot in the leg. Can you believe I said ‘they got me’ when it happened?”

You smirked at him, “What would Shakespeare think?” you shook your head at him in mock disapproval and he grinned. “When will you get back on your feet?”

“I don’t know,” he grimaced as he shifted in the bed, “Not for a while I don’t think.”

You bit your lip, “At least you get a bit of a break. I’m sure you’ll be better in no time.”

You stayed with him as long as you could, trying to ignore the jolts your stomach made when he looked at you with his dazzling blue eyes. When one of the nurses kicked you out you promised to come back when you next got the chance but you and your squad got moved out that night and you didn’t have a chance to say goodbye in person.

---

David,

I’ve lost track of where they’ve been carting me around. My life is one engine after the other and I get not time to just sit down and read a good play. It’s amazing I can find time to write this. I hope your leg is doing better. Are you back with your company yet?

Y/N

---

Y/N

Not yet. I can only just about hobble on my leg. The nurses say it could be another couple of weeks before I can leave the hospital. I understand your frustration though here the problem is I have too much time and too little to do. I feel I may die here from boredom alone, if I ever make it back to combat I may go down there (with yet another horrendous cliche line as my last words). I sometimes think I might actually die a bachelor, which based on the marriage suitors my parents have suggested in the past it may be preferable. I yearn to see the lines again. My book won't consist of much if I’m waiting here, but alas, I can’t walk away. Literally.

David

---

David

Sorry to hear your legs still in a bad way. Don't worry, I get the feeling you’ll live to see the end of the war. Try and rest the leg as much as possible and listen the the nurses.

Y/N

---

The war was over. You couldn’t believe it. It was over. You could go home.

You had kept in contact with Webster through the months, though letters didn’t come frequently as the mail delivery was slow and you rarely had the time to write back. Still, you knew about him rejoining easy company and being treated as an outcast until he was finally accepted again, you knew about Landsberg and you knew he was now on his way home.

You had volunteered to stay back in Europe for a while, keep tabs on the vehicles and fix them up as much as you could to see if any of them could still be used or go into displays. You still kept sending letters to David and they came each week now, he had invited you to stay at his place when you returned home and you had eagerly accepted.

After all this time your feelings for him hadn’t diminished. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and it was no different for you. You just didn’t want to go home just yet, you craved the routine and stability being in the air force brought you but soon it came to the point where they sent you home.

The boat ride was long and arduous, though the rocking isn't what made you feel sick. It was the thought of returning home and not have anyone recognise you, or you not recognise them. It had been close to three years since you last saw your friends and family, and a lot had changed in that time.

---

When you had returned to America you and David had helped each other out. Now living together your feelings for one another quickly escalated until they burst. It had been long coming, since camp Toccoa, since Holland. You couldn’t place when it happened but you knew you loved him with all your heart and you knew he loved you just the same.

Together you slowly readjusted to civilian life. You were there whilst he wrote his book and went off onto the sea. He was there as you got a job you liked doing. You were there for each other in the night when you woke from another nightmare. And you were there for each other when things didn’t go to plan.

You stuck together through everything. It had been an instant yes when he got down on one knee, some three years after the war ended.

---

The wedding was in a week. You were strangely calm. You had seen your friends and family members all freak out at this point but you felt content, this was what was right. You and David lay on the couch together, basking in the soft sunlight that trickled past the curtains and onto you. “Remember years ago in that letter, I said I might die a bachelor?” he asked, his voice quiet and silky in your ear.

You hummed in acknowledgement, you had kept and reread all of his letter during the war and you still knew all of them off by heart. “Yeah,” you whispered.

“Well, when I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.”

“You getting cold feet?” you teased.

You felt him smile against the back of your neck and he pressed a soft kiss there. “No, quite the opposite. I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to to protest.”

You smiled and rolled in his arms to face him, “Love me!..why?” you played along.

“When you depart from sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave,” he replied smoothly and you could help but blush. Even after all this time.

“Sap,” you fondly rolled your eyes and leant in to kiss him. This is where you belonged. Next to the man who shared your love of Shakespeare, and could make you feel safe with a single touch. There was no place you would rather be.

***

A/N- This got a bit long. Hope you liked it! Requests are open <3

[lisinfleur]

Sin

Author’s Notes | Sorry for being this late. I was really sick on Sunday and last night I was without electrical energy T-T But here it is! Late, but done! Enjoy! Special thanks for @bloodyivar for remembering me the rape trigger warning! Universe | Vikings Pairing | Ivar x Christian Num! Reader Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon, queued for 5CW2 Words | 3253 ⁑ Warnings: ANGST, religious conflict, faith conflict, mentions of the Bible, rape, bad memories, and past abuse. +18. Caution is recommended: the following content may be triggering!

The heavy steps of a Norseman could be heard into the room, scaring all the ones they were keeping prisoners into that place.

As a former member of the royalty now dedicated to the services of God, you knew those Norsemen better than anyone else in that room and when the one with a long red braid said they wouldn't harm against anyone, you believed in him.

However, the younger leader of the army that invaded your monastery wasn't that peaceful when he came into the room.

"Is there any healer among you? Answer me!"

The women around were too scared to do more than just shrink trying to avoid what they believe to be a demonic man sent by God to punish the sins they thought they didn't have.

But you weren't afraid.

"I can help," you answered him, attracting the attention of the warrior who walked towards you, towering upon you, taller and bigger.

"Don't try anything stupid," he said, guiding you out of the room and closing the doors behind the two of you, leading the way through the halls you used to know so well.

The honey-haired man in front of you was looking nervous. But even then, you tried your chances...

"What will you do with all the others?" you asked, causing him to look at you and sigh.

"My brother asked me not to touch you. Any of you. We gave orders to our men to be away from you for this place wasn't in our plans and we just stopped here because of Ivar. So, as soon as you can make his pain stop, we'll leave." he answered, taking you to one of the rooms that were used by the nuns before those men invaded the place.

From inside, you could already hear the grunts of pain in a male voice. Noises that became higher when the man opened the door, allowing you to see the red-haired man from before, sitting beside the one they called Ivar on the bed.

The third one - a cripple - was sweaty and tense, grunting and panting in pain over the bed. He seemed to be in fever and his eyes were absolutely blue, surprising you a little.

"His eyes are very blue today," the red-haired said, coming near you "Whenever he's like that, his bones break like glass. He has broken bones in his legs and we don't have anything to care for it properly. You care for my brother. We'll leave without causing any damage." he promised again, over his younger brother's words.

Like his brother, that man was really distressed and you could understand.

Unlike the great majority of people of your kind, you knew the Norsemen were men, simple men, like all the others. Made of flesh and bones, with blood in their veins. They feel pain and could die like any other man.

And that one over the bed was dived in deep pain.

He gripped your wrist tightly when you touched the blankets to uncover his legs, but the older one touched his hand, speaking in their language something that made him let go of your hand.

However, when your eyes landed over his legs you sighed.

"You shall stay for a while."

Not one, but multiple times, the thin legs of that man were made into pieces! You could only think about the terrible pain he should be feeling and how fragile his bones were for being broken like that.

But you had the destinies of all those women in your hands, and you were really disposed to make things work for them and for saving that man from the awful pain he was facing.

"I'll need more help..." you started.

And the nervous honey-haired answered almost readily.

"We won't release more of you! We're no fool!" he said, clearly afraid you could lead a riot, using his brother's fragility to release the nuns.

You sighed. He was just worried... It was his brother in that bed.

"Hvitserk!" the older one called his attention and you looked at them.

"Hvitserk," you repeated, calling him by the name, "I'm (Y/N). And the help of those women won't change anything for me. I need your help. Strong men that can bring a bathtub into this room. Do you think you can provide this to me?"

His shoulders relaxed a little and he nodded.

"There is a tub two rooms to the right from here. Bring it to me. And warm water. You can find clean water at the end of the corridor, at the kitchens. Do you know how to warm it?"

He nodded again.

"Good. Bring it to me. I know how to relieve his pain," you said, going to the nightstand, picking up some specific leaves from the stock in the room and offering them to Ivar. "Chew them. It will help you to feel lighter and it will be easier to deal with the pain."

"Why should I trust you, Christian?" he asked, pushing your hand with the leaves away from him.

And then, the red-haired came again, touching his brother's hand.

"We have no choice, Ivar. She won't hurt you. She doesn't want us to kill everyone in this place." he threatened.

But you could see it wasn't coming from more than his mouth.

"I know you won't," you said, looking at them "But also, you're right, I'm a Christian. A nun. To lie would be a sin for me, to kill as well. Unlike the majority, I do as my sire and Lord taught us to do and I do the good without looking to who I'm doing. I help the ones who need help. I give food to the hungry and I bring relief to the ones in pain. It doesn't matter if you're a son of my Lord or a foreigner. This way told us our Lord:  Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. This way I shall proceed," you said, parting the leaves in your hand and taking a small part of them into your own mouth, chewing them so the man wouldn't think you were poisoning him.

The other part, you offered to him once again.

Ivar took the leaves from your hand, starting to chew them while his older brother was looking at you, kinda surprised.

"You..." you started, looking at him.

"I'm Ubbe," he said, looking back at you.

"Ubbe... Are you able to lift your brother up into your arms? We'll need to put him into the tub. With some herbs, I might be able to make the pain bearable for me to put some wood and bandages that may keep your brother's legs immobile to heal the bone breaks."

"I do," he said, while Ivar appeared to be curious about the leaves you gave him.

"It's getting better?" you asked.

"What kind of witchery is this, woman?" he asked, causing you to giggle, smiling at him.

"I'm no witch. Before being a nun, I was a princess. And women from any places must know how to heal a wounded man, my lord. I was supposed to be married. Mother raised me to be a good wife. However, a terrible thing happened and my parents brought me to this place so I can live for our Lord and purify my soul from the sins I committed."

Not your sins... His sins... The sins of your uncle who stole your precious chastity and made everyone believe you seduced him into your bed. Confined into that monastery, you hadn't a say in your own life...

Through the years, you trusted that God would be able to take this burden from your heart. It never happened.

With time, even your mother stopped coming to see you and you knew your family was probably pretending you never existed... Covering their shame...

Something you could handle, right?

You became silent. Your silence made them curious.

The things you asked were provided and after a long bath in the herbs you prepared, with his legs immobilized by the bandages and wooden boards you used, Ivar was feeling better and almost painless.

"He must chew the herbs from time to time and I'll be awake to care for his fever. I suggest you sleep for tomorrow I'll need to take some rest and someone will have to care for him," you said to his brothers.

Hvitserk was appearing to be really tired and he took your suggestion readily.

Ubbe took a while to leave, but in the end, the sleepiness took him as well and he left the room warranting your companions would be safe.

In the morning, you would talk to them about the situation and ask the women to not to react. But this night, you were dedicating yourself to the care of that strange man.

"You should be sleeping," you said, exchanging the cloth in his forehead.

"What is a sin?" he asked back, looking at you.

"It's a crime. Something our Lord forbids us to do," you explained.

"How do you know what you can't do?" he kept asking, causing you to look at him.

You sighed. He was like a child, clearly looking at you with that expression that was telling he wouldn't sleep without his answers.

"There are rules in our sacred book called the Bible. There is the word of our Lord and he determines what's wrong and right. We must follow his commandments to live a straight life," again, you explained patiently.

"Your God never talked to you?" he asked, causing you to sigh.

You made your prayers every day, every night...

But not a single answer.

"Why do you wanna know?" you asked, looking at him.

"I'm trying to understand," he said, laying his back on the pillows, sighing "It makes no sense for me to follow a God that doesn't speak to you. When you need answers, where do you go? To a book with words pre-written?"

"Yes. What do you do?" you asked, looking at him.

"I ask my gods through the Seer. And they speak to me, through him, or personally," he answered, naturally.

Causing you to feel even more curious.

But then, the ask you were waiting finally came.

The one you didn't want to answer.

"What was your sin, woman?"

You looked away from him, picking up the bucket to exchange the water for some fresher.

"I had a man... Before I got married," you explained very superficially.

Hearing when he laughed of your crime.

"What? What is the matter about it?" he asked, looking at you "You had sex. And what's the point?"

"It's not right!" you answered, nervously "I was promised to my groom! When my uncle came, I... I should have..." tears formed in your eyes and you tried to focus on your chores, as always, trying not to think about that awful situation once again.

It wasn't good...

Why would you attract your uncle to such a horrible thing?

But your tone and the way you were shaking seemed to call Ivar's attention. And when you came back, he held your wrist that way again, almost forcing you to look at him.

"I wanna know... What really happened, Y/N?" he asked, firmly keeping the grip when you tried to pull your wrist from his fingers.

"Please!" you begged.

But he only held your face with his other hand, pulling your chin up, forcing you to look at him this time.

"Don't make me talk about this... I beg you, my lord!"

"You didn't want... Did you?" he asked, causing the tears to break from your eye line, rolling down your face.

This time, he chuckled disgusted.

"You're not here to purify anything. You're here to clean up his ass... Was he your mother's or father's brother?"

You shrank in your chair, distressed.

"My father just wanted the best for me... It was the only way..."

"I see many other ways to solve this problem... Tell me, how could it be the only one?" Ivar asked, annoyed.

"My groom found us!" you said, looking at him full of shame and sadness into your eyes "When my uncle forced himself in between my legs I screamed and my groom found us into my room... It was a shame to the whole family for my uncle told my father I seduced him. With my nightgown... And... My lower voice..."

You were sure you spoke low that night because you didn't want to wake anyone.

You never thought your gown was something sinful...

Ivar laughed again, causing you to lose your composure.

"It's not funny!"

"It is!" he answered, acid "It is funny that a bunch of men can really convince a woman her violation was her own fault! You did no fucking shit! Your uncle wasn't able to keep his dick into his trousers and blamed you for his own wildness!"

You covered your mouth, scandalized by his words so open.

But for the first time, someone was saying something about that night that wasn't sounding like a huge lie...

You never wanted what happened! It hurt you, it made you ashamed, it destroyed the marriage you were waiting for years... You never saw your uncle as more than what he was: your uncle.

You were raised for the marriage he took from you and since then, you were locked in that monastery, being treated as the family shame while he was freely walking through your father's castle alongside your sisters...

You felt his fingers in your chin once again and his eyes found yours, firm and fierce.

"If you were my bride? I would have cut his dick out for the audacity of touching what wasn't his."

Your groom accused you to be a witch...

He left your house in that same morning, saying now he could understand why your smiles were catching him so mesmerized...

The shame was too much for your family to handle...

There you were, locked for a crime that heathen was saying wasn't yours...

"But... I..." you was confused.

And Ivar didn't let it pass.

"Did you invite your uncle into your room?"

You said he should be sleeping...

"No..." you answered, remembering those moments one more time.

"Did you said he could touch you?"

You said he shouldn't be so close...

"No!" you answered, feeling the agony of his hands over you once again.

"Did you said he could come in?"

You yelled, begging for him to take out...

"No!" you pushed Ivar's hand away from your face, sobbing, feeling all that anger and pain into you once again, "I told him to stop! I begged him to stop! I said he shouldn't be in my room! I told him it was wrong! I didn't want to! I never wanted to! He forced me! It... It...."

“It wasn't your fault," Ivar said what you couldn't and you became silent. "That's why I don't believe there is really a Christian God talking through written words or metal crosses... If there is such a thing, where is this God to tell your father about your innocence now?"

You remained silent. And he smiled.

"That's what I thought," Ivar said, before laying his body back on the bed, sighing deeply and closing his eyes, appearing to be finally ready to sleep.

You spent that night awake, but not only because of his already inexistent fever. Your thoughts didn't let you sleep.

Why didn't your father let you talk and explain what happened?

Why didn't your groom heard what you wanted so desperately to say?

Why did your uncle lie?

And if lying was also a sin...

Why were you being punished by your uncle's sins?

You went to your bible, trying to find your answer. But all you found were words saying how impure the women were. How unquestionable were God's plans. The words of the Abbess also resembling your parent's words about how grateful should a sinful woman like you to be for God would forgive you and accept you among his nuns...

But what were you being forgiven from?

"What was your sin, woman?"

Ivar's question remained without an answer in your mind.

What was your sin after all?

The days passed and Ivar's legs were healed in few more than a month. As they promised, your mates were released and untouched and the dependences of the monastery were left without damage or stolen objects.

But they couldn't say they were leaving without any harm being caused. Your mind was broken...

And so was your faith.

You couldn't pray anymore. You couldn't find answers and the words in your bible were just more and more meaningless.

Through the days those heathens were there, you couldn't stop thinking about Ivar's words and that confinement that was only your salvation now sounded as an unfair punishment for you didn't commit any crime.

You were innocent and even then, three times you were stolen and denied by your God: first by your uncle who stole your chastity by forcing himself over you on your bed that night, then by your groom who stole your innocence by blaming you of things you never did, then by your father who believed them both and stole your freedom by locking you in that monastery, in a habit you never want to dress.

You dreamed to get married. You wanted to have children and care for a husband who would respect and love you. You never wanted to be a nun.

You wanted it pretty less now that you knew the truth...

Back to his leg guards, Ivar was straightening himself in the bench of his chariot when your voice sounded, surprising the nuns around you and his brothers.

But not him...

He was waiting for this, to be honest.

He knew, sooner or later, your confusion would lead you to this...

"Take me with you."

Ubbe and Hvitserk looked at each other and then to Ivar who was smiling.

"Are you sure this is your will, nun?" he asked.

Causing you to pull the veil, exposing your hair and breaking the habit and the vows when you disposed of that thing you were now so angry for being forced to use.

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free," you said, looking at him "That's the only line I can read now. That's the only word that sounds real to me. It wasn't my crime! Why shall I pay for mistakes that weren't mine? I wanted to get married, to have children! I would have been a wife, a mother! Why shall I be locked in this place forever when my dreams are not here? I know the truth! I want my freedom back!" you said, causing his smile to become bigger.

Ivar leaned himself towards you, extending his hand for you to come up into his chariot. And after you were by his side, he caressed your face, softly.

"Come, sweet Y/N. I'll give your freedom back, princess. And maybe I can give you more than your freedom. Maybe I can give you what your heart really wants..."

He softly touched your lips with his before clicking his tongue pulling the reins and making his horse start running away from the monastery.

Away from your prison.

And in the sweet flavor that he left in your mouth, you knew maybe your dreams would come true by his side...

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