#when the original is so beautiful and meaningful on its own

[doverstar]

sometimes anne with an e is so wholly UN-anne of green gables that I have to throw up

[markrosewater]

Elegance

Here’s my original article for Elegance.

 This is a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a long time.  Ironically, the words needed to explain the concept kept the column from being elegant. So I did what all artists do.  I found a way to say a lot in a little space.

 Enjoy,

 Mark Rosewater

 [NOTE: EACH OF THE ABOVE FIFTY WORDS IS HYPERLINKED.  BELOW IS THE FIFTY HYPER LINKS.  THE HEADERS SHOULDN’T BE ON THE LINKED PAGE.  I’M JUST INCLUDING THEM SO YOU KNOW WHAT EACH LINK IS.]

 ELEGANCE

 Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary has five definitions for elegance:

 • refined grace or dignified propriety

• tasteful richness of design or ornamentation

• dignified, gracefulness or restrained beauty of style

• scientific precision, neatness and simplicity

• something that is elegant

 The common elements appear to be dignity, simplicity, and taste.

 THIS

 Elegance requires thinking, but it also requires feeling.  Elegant prose is judged by how it makes the reader feel. It needs to generate a sense of calm that puts the reader at ease.  Everything in your writing should feel as if it was carefully positioned to create the proper effect.

 IS

 Pound for pound, the writer’s greatest writing tool is the verb.  Nouns add substance and adjectives add flourish, but it’s the verb that drives the sentence.  Choose a strong, descriptive verb and the sentence has flair and purpose. Choose a weak one and the sentence lacks any sense of drama.

 A

 Here’s a little game to test an elegance relevant skill (based on an old game called Inklings).  Randomly choose a noun.  Try to convey that noun to the other players using the least number of letters possible. You’ll be surprised how much you can communicate in just a few letters.

 TOPIC

 One of the greatest stumbling blocks to elegance is the inability to choose a single focus.  Elegance requires simplicity.  Simplicity requires a single purpose of thought.  This means that elegance starts before you write a single word.  A good sculptor must know his image before he picks up his chisel.

 I’VE

 One of the common misconceptions of elegance is that it requires a writer to be fancy. Elegance though is more about familiarity than formality. You shouldn’t be afraid of friendlier language such as slang or contractions, assuming that such language adds an element of ease rather than one of laziness.

 WANTED

 An important element of elegance is a sense of passion.  Brevity does not mean pulling away emotionally from words, but rather the opposite.  When you find yourself limited to fewer words, you must pack each individual word with extra emotional punch.  You are not reducing your message, simply your messenger.

 TO

 A good tool in understanding elegance is studying poetry.  Poetry is the most concise of all written art forms.  It strives to maximize impact while minimizing expression.  Each word carries the burden of evoking some essence of the poet’s message. If it cannot carry its own weight, it is excised.

WRITE

 To be an elegant writer, you have to become a student of prose.  You have to study the mechanics of language to understand how it can be shaped.  Once you have learned how to transfer the feeling in your head into meaningful words, you are on the path to elegance.

 ABOUT

 Be careful not to fall in love with ambiguity.  While intoxicating in its beauty, it is the enemy of elegance. Remember, the goal is not to make the reader struggle for comprehension.  Rather it is to lead them to the obvious conclusion. Elegance should be used to illuminate, not confuse.

 FOR

 Elegant prose requires connecting with your reader.  To do this, you have to understand who that reader is.  Nothing should come before this task.  It needs to be done before writing can begin. I like to compare this to planning a trip.  Maps are useless until you know your destination.

 A

 Another major key to elegance is the understanding of the importance of the tiniest detail.  Just as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, a piece of prose is only as tight as its messiest detail. A good writer doesn’t stop at the nouns, verbs and adjectives.

 LONG

 Don’t confuse elegance with brevity.  Elegant things are short not because they have to be but because the difficulty to craft an elegant piece of prose combined with the limitations of time forces writers to be brief.  Elegant novels, for example, do exist, but they are few and far between.

 TIME

 To quote Roman orator (and letter writer) Marcus T. Cicero, “If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.”  

 Simplicity takes more time not less.  Anyone can get a point across with ten thousand words.  But a true artist can do it in ten (or possibly fifty).  

 IRONICALLY

 Irony is a potent tool for commentary.  Its genius lies in the fact that it comments not on what is, but rather on what isn’t.  Like all good humor, irony makes you laugh.  But like the best type of humor, it also makes you think.  It’s both funny and funny.

 THE

 Elegance in writing is about more than words. Equally important is how the words are woven together. Tempo, pacing, rhythm – these are the tools that set the mood for the piece.  Try reading aloud your text.  The natural beat of language is more suited for the ear than the eye.

 WORDS

 To realize the power of words, you must first understand how they work. Art is expressive; words are connotative.  That is, words draw their power from their ability to extract different ideas from different people.  A circle is a circle, but the concept of “scary” varies from person to person.

 NEEDED

 Elegance is not the result of any one attribute.  It is the combination of numerous factors coming together in harmony. This is why it’s such a hard skill to master.  Most people can pat their head or rub their tummy.  But put them together and it’s not quite so easy.

 TO

 An elegant piece of prose needs to hit the reader at a gut level.  Often they won’t know exactly why they like it, but they will recognize that something about the piece moves them.  There are many types of writing where subtlety is lost.  Elegant writing isn’t one of them.

 EXPLAIN

 There are many ways for you to explain an idea.  The most elegant one though is not through definition but by example. By connecting your idea to one already known by the reader, you’re leaving the work of teaching to someone in the past.  Education is hard.  Comparison is easy.

 THE

 If writing is like building a house, the structure is like the foundation. Its design will dictate how the house is built.  If it’s faulty, no amount of fancy brickwork will undo the damage.  So take the time to ensure your structure is building the kind of prose you want.

 CONCEPT

 Never underestimate the power of a concept.  An important part of elegance is condensing big ideas into little words. This is far from an easy task.  It often takes a genius an entire lifetime to create a truly innovative concept.  So take advantage of all their hard work and inspiration.  

 KEPT

 A common barrier to elegance is the belief that only one way will work. Often a writer is unable to abandon a beloved piece of prose even when evidence demonstrates otherwise.  If something doesn’t add to the larger sense of the piece, you have to learn to let it go.

 THE

 Readers notice things at a minute level far beyond their mind’s ability to interpret. This means that although they may not consciously notice many of your tiny details, they will do so unconsciously. Aesthetics teach us that it’s this unconscious structure that will determine whether or not it feels “right”.

 COLUMN

 All communicators, whether through speaking or print, need to find a voice. A voice provides familiarity and it teaches the listener or reader how to more quickly absorb the information. Elegance is all about the conservation of ideas.  Having a pre-learned voice to guide you is a very valuable tool.

 FROM

 I’ve spent some time talking about understanding your reader.  But there is one more person who is even more important to understand – yourself. Writing is about sharing your ideas with others.  If you haven’t spent the time to figure out what you think, how can you possibly communicate it?

 BEING

 “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

 Or so the saying goes.  What the cliché forgets to mention is how many words a single word is worth.  For example, take the word “being”. To capture the essence of what “being” represents is tens of thousands of words if not more.

 ELEGANT

 What is the value of being elegant? Why should you care? Elegance adds aesthetics. It evokes poetry.  It grants beauty.  Elegant prose draws the reader closer because it gives them something to not just learn but to admire.  Good prose stimulates the head, but elegant prose resonates in the heart.

 SO

 Who, what, where, when, how - all important questions.  But for a writer they pale next to why.  If you don’t understand the reasoning beneath the surface, the other details are irrelevant.  The act of elegance is cementing the why.  It’s taking the purpose and engraining it into the piece.

 I

 Elegance is a very personal thing.  If something doesn’t resonate with you, there’s no way for it to resonate with your reader.  Writing is an art, not a science.  There is no rulebook for how things must be done.  If your instincts are telling you that something isn’t working, listen.

 DID

 An important tool in your toolbox is time. Elegance cannot be rushed.  Mental ruts only get deeper the harder you focus on them.  Make sure to work time into your schedule so you are able to walk away from your writing. An hour next week is worth a day today.  

 WHAT

 Don’t let attention to detail pull you away from having a larger sense of what you’re writing.  Take this column as an example.  While I spent a lot of time fine tuning each entry I never lost sight of the effect they created when all the entries were put together.

 ALL

 Elegance requires taking a holistic view of writing.  Every word, every sentence, every paragraph is a piece in a larger puzzle. It’s not enough to understand the impact of a single element. You must understand how any two elements interact if you want to understand the potency of your text.

 ARTISTS

 Elegance and art are very intertwined.  Both seek to achieve a similar goal: to illuminate and inspire with a conservation of expression.  If you’re trying to be elegant, I think it helps to think of yourself as an artist. The instinct for the latter mirrors the needs of the former.

 DO

 An important part of any writing is understanding the feeling you’re trying to evoke.  And then realizing what mechanic tools you have available to evoke that feeling. Diction, verb tense, sentence length, alliteration, word flow, phonetic juxtaposition – each of these will control the mood and tone of your piece.

 I

 A writer’s life is the ultimate fodder.  Don’t be ashamed to plumb your own experiences.  You understand them deeper and more personally than anyone else.  No painter would refuse to use his finest paints. And, as a bonus, by using your own experiences, you will become better educated about yourself.

 FOUND

 Don’t forget that the act of revealing is also an act of exploration.  Don’t be afraid if you learn more than the reader you’re trying to educate.  Writing is not an exact science.  (Or even an exact art.)  Often you will find that the road to salvation has a fork.

 A

 Your future is paved with your past.  If you want to learn how to grow as a writer, you need to look back at what you’ve written. With time and a detached eye, your will find your mistakes become clearer.  Remember that it’s failure, not success, that bests drives education.

 WAY

 The problem with looking for a single solution is that you’ll never find more than one.  And the first one isn’t always the best.  But if you’re open to the possibility that every problem has an infinite number of answers, you’ll have the freedom of choosing the solution you want.  

 TO

 Sentences are filled with freeloaders.  Because writers seem to love overwriting. (I include myself in this camp.)  Make sure to create time for the editor side of you to prune unnecessary words.  If a word can be excised without any harm to the sentence, it has no right being there.

 SAY

 I’m spending my time today talking about elegance in prose, but most of what I’m saying is applicable in speech.  The key difference is that prose has less defining attributes like appearance or tone.  The key to elegant speech is making people focus on the words rather than everything else.

 A

 It’s ironic that something designed to be so simple can be so complex.  But that, my faithful readers, is the joy (and mystery) of elegance. Like an onion, elegance has numerous layers that reveal themselves as you slowly peel them away.  Oh yeah, and it can sometimes make you cry.

 LOT

 An interesting exercise is to look at each word you’re using and think about how much content is loaded in that word.  Then explore what other words exist that fulfill the same role but with added content.  Once you’ve found the word you can’t best, move onto the next word.

 IN

 A good way to get better at understanding elegance is to look for it in every day life. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised where and how often you find it.  Study each example carefully and try to see if you can put your finger on what makes it work.  

 A

 Writing is a shared endeavor.  No one owns the words.  If someone uses a technique that works, there’s no shame in borrowing it.  Like science, writing creates technology that’s brought back to the group to spur further advancements.  Elegance is hard enough to accomplish without refusing to use the toolbox.

 LITTLE

 How big should a piece of text be if you want it to be elegant?  The answer is as big as it needs to be – and not a word more. Just think of it as playing the game Jenga. Keep pulling words out of your prose until it collapses.  

 SPACE

 One of the most important lessons in art is learning the value of negative space, the idea that the eyes are equally drawn to what isn’t there.  Prose has a very similar quality.  When writing pay careful attention to what you aren’t saying. Often it will speak the loudest volume.

 ENJOY

 For some reason people tend to equate dignity with seriousness.  And as such they come to the false conclusion that elegance has no room for humor.  Ironic as humor is one of the most elegant of styles.  A good joke is no longer than is necessary to do its job.

 MARK

 As is always true when I head off the beaten path, I am curious to hear your feedback.  What did you think of this article?  Was it entertaining?  Was it educational? Did you actually read all fifty links?  And if not, why not?

 Tell me.  Inquiring mind wants to know.

 ROSEWATER

 I couldn’t end this week’s column without my trademark closing.  I mean, how inelegant would that be?

 Join me next week when  I go from being a letter man to a Letterman.

 Until then, may you learn to appreciate now just the “what” but the “how” and “why”.

 Mark Rosewater

[kookslastbutton]

Those Eyes Chico ༓ myg (m) | chapter two

✑ Summary: As the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour, you’re expected to bring your expertise to the table. This shouldn’t be a problem—you’re the best in the business and you’re used to drawing a strict line between your professional and personal life. But what happens when the lines you’ve fought to keep as separate blur for the first time?

pairing: idol!yoongi x plus size!poc!reader

genre/AU: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, coworkers2friends2lovers, winter setting, forbidden love

word count: 6.1k+

warnings: This chapter in particular is written from Yoongi's perspective, oc is 28, Yoon is 30, oc is not originally from South Korea, oc has light brown eyes, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of body shaming by Hybe executive, bestie!tae is wonderful support 🥹, light fighting between members (literally crack), Namjoon has a little crush, Oc being a total boss at work bc she is amazing at her job, and cute & meaningful Yoon and OC interactions that make them finally start bonding (a little flirty too, hehe) 😉

now playing: Sweet Dreams by The Last Shadow Puppets

a/n: CHAPTR TWO IS HERE! GOD...the slow burn exists outside the series too with me not updating for two months. I'm sorry guys but TYSM for your patience! I'm VERY excited to release this chapter bc I think Yoon & Oc are super cute, hehe. Okay anyway, this series is dedicated to my wonderfully crazy friend and sorta beta, Gloom @theuselessdaydreamingidiot, and to all our fellow Yoon lovers bc we miss our sweet man SO MUCH 🥺 Enjoy! 🥰 Also huge thank you to @itaeewon for designing this beautiful series header! Love it!!

Series Masterlist | next chapter >>

Yoongi stands with his hands placed loosely on his hip, chest heaving as he attempts to catch his breath. The seven of them had been practicing choreography for their new RUN BTS song nonstop when Jimin called for a much-needed, fifteen-minute break. There’s a part of him that’s thanking the younger for it and another that’s wishing he hadn’t, as every moment left alone with his thoughts is spent decoding his last encounter with you at the cafeteria.

Why had you made such a beeline for the exit the moment he was waved over by his member?

You also completely ignored his attempts to greet you on your way out. He only stopped by the cafeteria to slip an orange in his pocket before returning to his studio. He didn’t mean to intrude or incite that you had to leave with his sudden presence.

Taehyung assured him that you merely left to tend to work matters, which he’d typically sum as hyper-fixation with one’s work as he’s prone to do the same, but this felt different at its core. Your behavior seemed more intentional than that. The last thing he wants to do is misread the whole situation, but he must’ve done or said something to cause your uneasiness.

“Hyung, how did the album meeting go this morning?” A clear voice comes from Yoongi's left as his fellow band member, Namjoon, strides next to him, water bottle clenched in his fist. Like himself, large droplets of sweat dots around the man’s brow. The minor interruption shakes Yoongi out of his slightly dazed state.

“Went well.” He takes a big swish of his own water before screwing the cap back on. “We reviewed everything in three hours and the album looks better than I anticipated. There are a couple of promotional strategies that still need finalizing, but I’m pretty confident about it overall.”

“That’s great, man. __-nim’s been doing good work with TXT for the last few years, so she’s definitely suited for the job. I thought about requesting her help to promote Indigo but the timing of it all didn’t work.” Namjoon’s voice drops an octave at the last part, as if remorseful for more than a missed professional opportunity.

“Ah, maybe your next album hyung,” Jimin suddenly chimes in, slapping the taller man on the shoulder from the side. “I have a feeling you and __-nim would work well together. Think about it, you’re both natural born leaders and you’re smart too. I bet __ -nim has as high of an IQ as you.”

Namjoon’s cheeks flush with the faintest tint of rose as Jimin flashes a knowingly cheeky grin. Yoongi, of course, witnesses the entire exchange, the slightest part of him feeling uprooted by the thought of his band member and new marketing manager suddenly hitting it off. He decides not to comment on the matter, choosing to remain in ignorance instead. This is all speculation, right?

Now that they’re all on the subject of his album though, it gets him thinking that maybe he’s been too narrow viewed regarding the reason for your off putting behavior at lunch.

D-Day’s release has become a consuming priority lately, with everyone involved worked to the bone. Aside from himself, you’ve been bearing the brunt of it. He’s appreciative of course, considering the album holds a deep sense of meaning to him, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it to be perfect. A little pushback during the first proposal is natural, yet he did get more resistant toward ideas during this morning’s meeting than anticipated. Perhaps some of his nitpicking was unnecessary, adding to your already heavy load.

Yoongi’s head feels worse the longer he entertains the possibility. He doesn’t want to make the first time working together a complete whirlwind, especially this early. A strong, healthy partnership starts with trust, safety, and mutual respect. The same philosophy can be applied to relationships of varying natures. That reminds him—since when did Taehyung and you become so close? He’s been ruminating over it all afternoon, like a jigsaw puzzle he can’t solve.

It’s odd how little he knows.

“I heard someone mention __-nim over here. I want in.” A small grumble leaves Yoongi’s lips as Jungkook pushes next to him, displeased by how tiny his space bubble has gotten due to the huddle his members have formed around him. Just why the hell is everyone so interested in his new marketing director? That's what he wants to know.

“Can you introduce me to her sometime hyung?" Jungkook pleads. "I’m thinking about releasing an album in the next year and it’d be great if you could hook us up…yknow?”

Oh, Yoongi knows. He knows exactly what this young buck is insinuating, but it isn’t mating season yet and even if it were he will do no such thing as to “hook them up”. Besides, his conscience tells him that you wouldn't be interested in the company of a younger man anyway—not that your dating life is any of his business or anything.

“Get in line Jungkookie, behind Namjoon. He needs her for his album first.” Jimin squeezes down on Namjoon’s muscular shoulders with both hands, shaking him just enough to hype him up. His hands are removed seconds later when he’s told to knock it off.

“That’s enough about this, okay? I’m pretty sure Yoongi-hyung is the only one who actually needs __-nim right now because, in case you dumbasses have forgotten, D-Day is set to release in April,” Namjoon scolds the two with a commanding tone. Jungkook, per usual, remains persistent in his original request and keeps his full attention on Yoongi.

“Anyway hyung, as I was saying, I know your album takes priority so I’m in no hurry to meet her. I can be pretty patient as you know-“

“Heh, that’s a lie.”

“Shove it Jimin, no one’s talking to you.” Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunch together as Jimin snorts helplessly next to Namjoon.

“You shove it Kook,” Jimin counters. “And stop trying to date __-nim! Find your own woman!”

“I’m not trying to date her! She's my noona for gods sake! Do you think I’m oblivious to how the public reacts to idols dating? Also, __-nim is a Hybe employee, not an idol. I can only imagine the type of scandal the media would spin it as.”

“Right, we all know you actually just want to take her to your bed instead,” Jimin interrupts for the umpteenth time. “Our handsome leader, on the other hand, is interested in her professional abilities. We can learn a lot from him.”

“Why are you always trying to start a fight with me Jimin? Is it because I can take you, now that I've been building up more muscle?” Jungkook’s accusations earn him nothing more than a sea of eye-rolls until Jimin lunges himself towards him, puffing out his chest the best he can to size him up.

Namjoon rubs his face with a hand, a clear visual display of his exhaustion. He’s been moderating these stupid squabbles for nine years now. “Alright very mature, biggest boy band in the world and this is what it’s come to? Amazing, congrats to everyone for winning the award for most-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Seokjin interjects, effortlessly shouting over everyone while waving his hands. “My brothers…why are we fighting over here like a couple of peacocks? We are all beautiful in our own, individual ways. Mine, for example, is my handsome face.”

“For the love of god hyung, we’re trying to settle something. Go take your inspirational pep talk elsewhere!” Jungkook bends his knees, swooping down to throw Jimin over his shoulder but he misses when the man starts tickling him ruthlessly.

“St-ah-stop it Jimin!"

“You stop it, you frickin’ brat! Trying to take advantage of our hyungs for your own selfish gain.” Jimin then slaps Jungkook on the ass which does not go unappreciated as Hoseok cackles from the other side of the room. Up until this point, he’s been scrolling on his phone, completely unbothered by the chaos. As Hoseok nears the action, Jungkook delivers a swift kick to Jimin’s rear end.

“Ow, what the fuck Kook?!” Jimin tries soothing the sting by massaging it with his hands. “You little prick!”

“Oh come on, I barely hit you. Gaining sympathy points won’t help this time, plus I see you trying to hide a grin. You think this shit is funny. You’re sick you know that?”

Jimin makes a move to return the kick to his youngest member but ends up hitting a far taller, and leaner subject instead. Taehyung, who just returned from the bathroom, throws a hand over his abdomen and grunts from the sudden impact.

“What is—shit Jimin that really hurt!” Taehyung’s baritone voice echoes off the walls as he winces from the pain. He takes a few deep breaths, then viciously eyes the two brawlers followed by the rest of the room. “What the hell is going on? I heard you all talking about __-nim from the hallway. Yoongi-hyung here is trying to kick off his album and tour, which we are supposed to be celebrating over drinks this Friday, but here you are arguing with each other and who has the biggest dick. Well, you can all put it away because as __-nim’s best friend, and number one wingman, only I’m allowed to set her up with someone and it won’t be with any of you! Sorry hyung…” he looks at Namjoon who appears to have brushed the comment off.

As soon as Taehyung ceases his mini-speech, eery silence sets in. Hoseok is the first to dare say a word.

“Uh, so what’s this about being her best friend Tae?”

“Yeah, I had no idea either.” Jimin quirks his head to the side, awaiting the details.

“Same,” Namjoon adds in a short breath.

“What happened to us, man?” Jungkook pouts at Taehyung, a total 180 from moments ago when he was in an unsolicited sparring match with Jimin. “You used to share everything with me. Now you’re holding out on me. Since when did you and __-nim start hanging out?”

Yoongi’s ears perk up for the first time since all the commotion began, curious to hear Taehyung’s response. He only recently discovered the blossoming friendship hours ago and even then, it was a brief inside look.

“I didn’t think to mention it but yeah, we started talking since her first day at Hybe. I bumped into her on the way into work, early morning for both of us. I expected her to be a bit on the reserved side, considering she was a new hire, but she was quite friendly. The more we talked, the more I felt like I knew her as if a childhood best friend I’d reconnected with.” Pausing, he wets his lips before continuing. “We share a lot of our meals together now, like our lunches during the weekday. Her food tastes amazing by the way. I think she missed her calling as a chef but it’s more than food— it’s a love language, a labor of love.”

“Wow, you two sure are connected,” Hoseok speaks first again, seeing the rest of his members working to process the new bit of info.

“Platonically, yes.”

“This’ll be good for Yoongi-hyung and his album then! No bad blood exists here!” Hoseok shifts his gaze between Taehyung and Yoongi, pleased with the outcome. The older of the two remains speechless, yet it’s far from a dazed expression. Yoongi is instead deep in thought, the wheels turning in his head.

So maybe it’s true that birds of a feather flock together, he hums to himself. The two of you seem to be social butterflies with a vase full of commonalities. He, on the other hand, prefers his solitude. That’s not to say he’s a hermit or anything though. Hybe hosts a company-wide New Year’s Eve party every single year and he’s made his best effort to attend them all. He mainly mingles with his members, but he still makes sure to small talk with other coworkers. Come to think of it, did he even see you at last year’s New Year’s Eve party?

He can’t remember much from the night except Seokjin scolding him for not wishing him a happy birthday the minute the clock struck midnight. He was a bit tipsy at that point. Taehyung disappeared soon after to make his usual rounds, stopping to chat with everyone in his path. Maybe he took off to talk to you during that time.

Okay, he really needs to stop thinking about you.

"Just to confirm, is everyone still on for Friday night to celebrate D-Day?" Jimin pipes. "I booked us a good place to have some food and drinks.

Taehyung nods, "I am, as long as it's not the same place we saw our CFO and his much younger date feeding each other. I couldn't eat for the rest of that night."

Jungkook fakes a gag before replying. "I'm sorry but does anyone know how is he still working here? Guy creeps me out."

"I swear, I couldn't agree more. Just yesterday he made an egregiously body-shaming comment toward __-nim to someone else on the board. She kept a brave front when she told me, but I'm damn tempted to get him removed from his position myself!" Taehyung's nostrils flare as he shares his frustration, fingers digging into his hips.

Yoongi takes a final chug of his water before abruptly tossing the bottle on the floor. A sharp crack resounds through the space, instantly commanding the authority of the room. “Fifteen minutes is over,” he gruffs. “It might be twenty minutes with all the bickering earlier. We don't have time to be talking about this anymore.”

“Come on now," Hoseok says. "Didn't you hear what Taehyung said? Our CFO really is a class-A jerk. I feel so bad that __-nim has to put up with his bullshit, she doesn't deserve it." His eyes frantically search the room, hoping to rally support.

"Don't worry about that asshole," Yoongi assures, "I'll handle it." He strides over to his choreographed position on the dance floor as if a leader in his own right, the rest of the members following in his steps.

"Just don't kill him, hyung," Namjoon says, resting a hand on the older's shoulder from behind. Yoongi merely snorts lightly in reply.

Yoongi is dead tired, his feet feeling heavier the minute he stands from his studio chair. He could have left hours ago, but here it is nearly 9:30 at night, and he's only just leaving the office.

As he shuffles down the hallway towards the elevator, he notices the eerie silence. It's thick, almost palpable. There's not a soul left in the building this late at night. When the elevator doors open, he leans casually against the metal rail, closes his eyes, and mentally retraces his day.

Overall, it was a decent day, he thinks, productive at best. Skipping dinner to work on his album tracks was an easy decision, but he might be paying for it now given the intense growling of his stomach. Despite his songs being considered perfect by his members, he can't help but tweak each one a final time. It's as if his gut tells him there's still a piece missing from the whole.

All at once, the elevator comes to a sudden stop. Yoongi's eyes shoot open, anticipation flooding his senses. Is someone still here? He listens intently, straining to hear any sound over the faint hum of the elevator. After a few moments that feel like an eternity, the elevator doors slide open to reveal an empty, dimly lit hallway. It's the 16th floor. He hesitates for a second, peering into the shadows, but there’s no sign of anyone. Strange.

Just as the elevator doors begin to close, Yoongi hears a distant, unmistakable voice. "Please hold the door!" you plead, your voice strained with urgency. He responds immediately, stretching out an arm to block the door. "Thank you so much," you say, slipping in beside him, your bag thrown over your shoulder.

Yoongi watches as you enter, curiosity in his eyes. It seems you were of like mind tonight, working late and likely burdened by the extra work he caused for you. The feeling of tension is as clear as it was yesterday, lingering as a reminder of the unspoken discomfort between you both.

But then again, there's that issue Taehyung mentioned, looming in his thoughts. He hadn't realized you overheard the horrendous comment his CFO made about you. No wonder you hurried away from him like a bat out of hell yesterday; you knew he knew. He wouldn't dare shine a light on the situation and risk embarrassing you further; no one needs to relive such a belittling experience. Yet, he's wrestling with the right words to say.

"Heading home, Min PD-nim?" You surprise him by speaking first, voice firm with a touch of gentleness.

Yoongi allows a faint smile to tug at the corners of his lips, hoping it'll relieve some tension. "I am, it's been quite a day. What about you?"

You nod, shifting the bag on your shoulder. "Same here. Just had to wrap up a few things before heading out."

He hesitates for a moment, noting how you speak as if it were only a few minutes past five or six in the evening. "I understand. I was working in my studio up until now. I should be back up there tomorrow too," he says, then chuckles lightly, "Sometimes I feel like I should just live up there."

You return the subtle laugh and smile softly at him, your light brown eyes catching his dark ones. It feels like the same prolonged gaze you shared upon first meeting, yet now, it's somehow become easier; perhaps a hint of familiarity.

"By the way," he continues, seizing the opportunity, "feel free to call me Yoongi-ssi. I'm not that formal in case you didn't know." He playfully gestures to his casual attire; tan cargo pants, grey plaid button-down, and sneakers.

You seem hesitant towards the request at first, evident from your delayed response. "Are you sure?" you choke. "I don't want to over step my boundaries."

"There's no need to worry about that," he assures. "We're on equal level aren't we? If we're going to be working side by side for the next eight months give or take, I want us to feel comfortable with each other. Please, call me Yoongi-ssi."

"Okay, I might need some time to get used to that," you say, head nodding, "I'll try calling you Yoongi-ssi from now on."

"There's one other thing too," he pauses, "since we'll be working on D-Day's promotion from start to finish, I'll have many of my own opinions. It's a natural instinct for me, but I don't want to be a hinderance. I don't want anyone else giving you issues either, so I'd like to hear your full thoughts on matters, especially when it comes to important decisions."

"That means a lot Yoongi-ssi, thank you. I'm very grateful that you'd allow me to be a part of this and I'd very much like us to have an equal partnership. This is your album though, so I want to make sure it gets the recognition it deserves in the way you'd prefer."

Yoongi glances at the floor numbers displayed to the right of the elevator doors. Any second now and you'll reach the lobby. He wouldn't mind talking longer, but letting you both get a decent night's sleep is the far better idea at this point.

"I trust that D-Day is in the right hands with you, __ssi," he replies. "It's why I recommended that we work together to promote it in the first place. Bang PD was also confident in the idea. We don't doubt your expertise for a second." He pauses when the elevator doors slide open and allows you to be the first to exit. "Have a good night, okay?"

For the first time, you reciprocate the wish with a full, illuminating smile. It's not a professional one, Yoongi notes, its a real one—as genuine and sincere as his words. He takes it as a sign that the tides may finally be turning for the better. "You too," he hears you say before you push through the large revolving doors and step into the cool night air.

In the evenings that follow, Yoongi finds himself back in his studio as promised, a glass of whiskey in hand. He ultimately decided that if he was going to be here until all hours of the night, he might as well have a cold beverage to keep him company.

As he leans back in his chair, swirling the dark amber liquor in his glass, his mind inadvertently wanders to you. Were you downstairs again? Were you here with him? It would seem that given your unexpected late-night encounter in the elevator, the validity of the idea wouldn't be all that wild or far-fetched.

With each passing minute, as the clock inches closer to the late hours, he finds himself circling back to the same thought. It's as if the possibility of running into you has become a highlight of his night.

Just then, a deep and familiar voice interrupts. "Burning the midnight oil again, hyung?"

Startled, Yoongi looks up to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, a sympathetic smile on his face. Despite it being almost 9 at night, his younger member is nothing short of flawless in appearance.

"Yeah, working on my tracks," Yoongi replies, offering a small smile in return. "What are you doing here?"

Taehyung steps further into the room, hand tucked in his pocket. "I wanted to stay late to keep __-nim company, but I'm not sure how much longer she plans on staying tonight. I was on my way out when I figured I'd stop by to see you too."

"Well, thanks for thinking of me. Want a drink?" He offers, nodding towards the nearby whiskey bottle.

"No, thanks," Taehyung declines politely, shaking his head. "I'll let you enjoy your whiskey in peace. Although, __-nim might take you up on that same offer one of these days. She has a strong taste for it, as you do. Anyway, I'm heading out. Don't overdo it with your music, hyung, they're already perfect."

Once Taehyung leaves the studio, Yoongi's previous string of thoughts return to him tenfold.

So you really are here, he muses, and you happen to like the same throat-burning alcohol. Should he venture downstairs and offer a drink? No, that would probably be too much, and he wouldn't want to interrupt you. Maybe if Taehyung were accompanying him, but not alone; he doesn't share enough rapport with you to merit such a spontaneous drop-in yet.

No, he takes another sip of his whiskey, he'll see you tomorrow morning instead; during your morning meeting. But that gets him thinking—he's still yet to decide on whether or not he'll make an appearance on Fallon's show. He’d done it with his members numerous times, but this would be the first time doing it alone. His album would indeed benefit from the exposure, though.

"Damn it," he curses, raising from his seat. "I work my ass off. I work my ass off for it all!" He then sits back down, finishing off the rest of his whiskey in one gulp, the burn soothing his frustration momentarily. With a resigned sigh, he turns his attention back to his music. "Damn it, I guess I'll do it."

If it weren't for his phone notification reminding him of his 10 am meeting on Friday, Yoongi would have missed it entirely. Normally, he never forgets important events, but several late nights in the studio had predictably caught up with him. He feels extremely sleep-deprived today, his memory more prone to blanking than usual. Waking up with a throbbing headache at 5 am, which hasn't dimmed in the slightest, doesn’t help either. Nonetheless, with only ten minutes to spare, Yoongi has no choice but to pull himself together and head downstairs to the conference room.

"Good morning, Min PD-nim," you greet him as he walks through the door. "We're about to start."

Yoongi drags out a chair and takes a seat. You look nice today, he notes quietly to himself. He makes sure to send a small smile your way before returning the warm greeting. "Good morning __-ssi," he says. "I told you we can speak informally didn't I?"

He waits for your response, easily tuning out the startled reactions from the rest of the team. Most high-ranking officials in the organization expected to be addressed formally by those in lower positions, but here he was, openly requesting you to speak as equals. It was almost unheard of during work hours. He was Min Yoongi, after all.

"Right, of course," you reply, "You'll have to excuse me, Yoongi-ssi. It slipped my mind for a moment."

Yoongi watches as you shuffle a few papers in your hand before continuing. "To get us started, I thought we'd discuss the decision to schedule a spot on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Will we be proceeding with this?"

"After mauling it over I think it's a good idea for the album. Do we have an idea of when this would happen?"

"Ideally after the album releases and around the time the U.S. tour begins April 26th. I say we aim for early May. Given Fallon's show's high demand, we'll need to get a jump on this as soon as we can." You shift your attention to your digital marketing and promotions team. "So-hyun, can you reach out to the producers and see what strings we can pull?"

She nods, scribbling a quick note on her writing pad. "We'll reach out today. I'll let you know as soon as we get a response."

"Excellent, thank you. I'm glad to hear you're on board with this Yoongi-ssi. It'll be a great way to promote D-Day and attract a global audience. The more smartly we utilize our resources, the better your album will be positioned in the current market." You take a brief pause to flip through your notes again. "Speaking of resources, we'll need to start booking magazine shoots and interviews. I'm proposing we run cover pages with Marie Claire Korea and Vogue Japan."

Yoongi would be taken aback by the flood of ideas and schedules you're firing at him, all within the first fifteen minutes, if he weren't already aware of your level of competency. This is exactly why he chose you, he hums to himself, your preparedness is impressive, but not surprising.

"I presume this will take place next year?" he asks. "During their spring issues?"

"Absolutely. We'll submit inquiries soon to get the ball rolling, but having the shoots completed now would be premature. Plus, it'll take some time before there are any openings with the companies. I think we should be consistent with tour dates and have Marie Claire go out in May and Vogue ready in August of next year."

"Okay, I'm fine with all that but we'll need to have something exciting released now, don't we? I know I start my weekly lives tonight, but shouldn't there be something more we can do?"

"I agree," you reply. "That's why I wanted to propose a brand new idea that came to me a couple of nights ago while I was drafting promotional content. Anytime idols release a new album or music, it gets published on YouTube, right?"

He nods, curious on where you're heading. "Right."

"Why don't we start a talk show with you as the host Yoongi-ssi? It can allow your fans to see another side of you, as well as the general public. We can invite your BTS members as guests where you can discuss music or past challenges that you've had to overcome—the choice is yours. To make it more interesting for viewers, you can have these frank conversations over a glass of whiskey or soju."

"I like the idea," he says, weighing it in his mind. "What would the timeline look like for this?"

"If we move forward with the idea, I suggest December 5th and we continue it for a max of two months. I know that only leaves us with just under two weeks to get started, but creating the set shouldn't take more an a day or a day and a half. We can also easily shoot a 30 to 60-minute video in an afternoon and publish it on YouTube the following week. Of course, a preview of the show will need to go out beforehand."

"Would we be able to invite other guests to the show? Outside of my members, I mean."

"Yes, feel free to invite whoever you'd like. We can start with the member for the first several episodes but ultimately, welcoming a variety of guests from the same or differing industries would be the goal."

"If I may." A member of the social media team suddenly joins the discussion, "I think Kim Namjoon-nim might be a good person to feature first since Indigo releases December 2nd."

Yoongi nods in agreement. "I can ask him."

"That would be fantastic, actually. If his availability is limited, we could have him guest star for the second or third episode instead," you add. "Hoseok released Jack in the Box this summer so we could have him be the first guest as well."

"Do we have a name yet?"

"Suchwita," you answer without hesitation. "It's a play on words with Daechwita."

"Suchwita..." Yoongi repeats, "Time to get drunk." He chuckles at the last few words, amusing the room, but you remain contemplative.

"How about Suchwita...time to drink with Suga, instead? It's simple and has a slight whimsical nature."

"Sure, let's use that," he answers, noticing that you've already begun jotting down the idea. "Yours is better."

Despite the adrenaline from the productive meeting with you and your team, Yoongi still feels the weight of his sleepless nights bearing down on him. His headache remains relentless and he is in dire need of a moment to himself. Once the team disperses, he slips his phone into his pocket and makes his way outside. The crisp, early morning air should offer him some relief, along with the pack of cigarettes tucked in his pocket.

When he reaches the building's designated smoking area, Yoongi takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a deep drag as he leans against the cool brick wall. As he exhales, watching the smoke dissipate into the clear sky, his thoughts drift back to the meeting. The idea of hosting a talk show, "Suchwita...time to drink with Suga," still lingers in his mind. It’s an intriguing concept, and he can already envision the relaxed, candid conversations that could come from it.

His thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the sound of footsteps crunching on the ground nearby.

"Oh, Yoongi-ssi," you say with alarm, obviously startled by his presence. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'll come back lat-"

"There's no need for that. Join me if you'd like." Yoongi watches as you hesitate to accept his offer, your feet already positioned to head back inside the building. "Seriously, there's plenty of room, and no matter what they'll tell you, I don't bite."

He allows himself to smirk as you carefully move beside him, only stopping when there is at least two feet of space between you both.

"Thanks," you say, pulling out your own pack of cigarettes and lighting one. "I needed a break too."

"Rough morning?"

"Just busy," you reply, leaning against the wall next to him. "But the meeting went well. We should be able to get the ball rolling now that we have a more finalized plan. I'm glad you liked the idea of starting Suchwita, by the way."

"I do," Yoongi says, nodding. "It has a lot of potential and I'm sure Namjoon will be more than happy to help us out. He's a natural at this kind of stuff. I guess it's why he's our band leader."

"You know you're good at all of this too, don't you, Yoongi-ssi?" You pause, taking a puff of your cigarette. "Even when you have a lot on your mind and a packed schedule, you have a knack for making people feel at ease. It's why I think producing Suchwita will be such a great way to connect with fans and other artists—you'll be the host."

He chuckles, appreciative of the remark. "You really think that? That I make people feel at ease? It's not what a lot of people assume."

"Nah," you reply, tilting your head up toward the clouds. "They're just on the outside looking in. Those who know you, who are around you and talk to you, will agree that you're a pretty calming presence."

"Well, I think we're not so different then." Yoongi shifts his eyes to your face, still looking up at the sky, and smiles softly. "So, what made you come to BigHit? Didn't you say you worked for Atlantic Records? That's a pretty good gig."

"Yeah, it was. I learned a lot there, and man, I was thrilled when I got offered the job as a brand manager. I've always loved music, ever since I was a kid. I could connect so intimately with the lyrics. Music is one of the few things that could soothe me during rough times, and it still does today. I'm sure you can understand."

Yoongi nods, intent on listening to your every word, intrigued by your story.

"Anyway, sorry about getting long-winded here" you chuckle. "I ultimately decided to move on when Bang PD reached out and offered me the marketing manager position for TXT. It gave me the chance to be a more integral part of bringing music to individuals who need it most. It's like we say, 'music for art and healing.' I'd never had the opportunity to manage a completely new set of musicians before either, let alone a group. Plus, being on the global marketing team? I couldn't turn it down."

"It makes sense why you joined us then, and I have to say, it's a blessing you did too. Music is a way of communication for me, a way I can best express my story. That includes my past, present, and hopefully future. After hearing all you shared, I don't think there's anyone else I'd trust with handling my album promos." Yoongi pauses a moment, unsure if he should ask the next thing on his mind. "How come we never met before? I mean really meet and talk?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure myself. But things have a way of falling into place when the time is right, I suppose." You're now looking at him, the intensity of your gaze mirrors his own. A gentle breeze tousles a few strands of your hair and for a split moment, Yoongi begins to understand what Taehyung meant earlier when he said it feels like he's known you his whole life, like a childhood friend he'd reconnected with. While it may not be to that extent for himself, there's a comforting warmth emanating from you that leaves him feeling strangely tranquil.

"Given the circumstances, I feel like we should have at least met through Taehyung by now," he slips out. "Or even at a company-sponsored event."

"Why, do you like me that much, Yoongi-ssi? After five days of working together?" Your playful tease catches him off guard, revealing a side of you he hadn't seen before. It's kind of cute-wait, what?

"I-"

"Sorry," you quickly interject, feeling the need to backtrack. "I shouldn't have said it like that."

"Don't worry, there's no need for apologies. And to answer your question, I like you enough." He hopes you can hear the tease in his own tone as he responds.

You both lapse into a comfortable silence for the next few minutes, the only sounds being the distant hum of traffic and the occasional chirp of a bird. He finds all of it soothing in a way he can't quite explain.

After a few minutes, you turn to him, your expression thoughtful. "You know, if you ever need to talk or just need a break, I'm here. We're teammates now."

Yoongi looks at you, his tired eyes softening with gratitude. "Thanks, __-ssi."

You give him a reassuring smile before pushing off the wall. "I'll let you finish your cigarette. See you later? And by later, I likely mean at 9 or 10 pm in our company elevator."

"Yeah, see you later," he laughs, watching as you walk back toward the building. He takes one last inhale, extinguishing the cigarette and letting the remaining smoke escape his lips slowly.

Yeah, he likes you just enough.

a/n: Hope you enjoyed it! Lmk what you think 🥰

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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

[jennaimmortal]

Musings on OFMD Season 2

I’m feeling a bit sad today for the OFMD writers. After rewatching S1 & 2 a couple times, it’s become blatantly clear to me that Izzy’s arc this season was a very obvious love letter to both Izzy fans & the great Con O’Neil. Izzy was very clearly written to be an obstacle to Ed’s healing & personal growth, a snare that Ed needed to be freed from, albeit with plenty of nuance hiding under the surface. It would have been much easier for them to kill Izzy off while he was still the toxic, abusive, sadomasochistic terror of S1E10.

Instead of taking the easy route, though, the writers flipped the trope on its head! They utilized every bit of the potential buried beneath Izzy’s super fucked up shell. This season Izzy got

• a fully fleshed out redemption complete with terrible consequences of his 1x10 actions

• a realization of the possibility of another way of thinking & existing that he’d spent all of S1 running from & trying to destroy,

• genuine love & support from his crew mates which he was actually able to accept,

• exploration of the long abandoned softer side of his nature,

• an apology from Ed w/o first offering one of his own,

• a powerful, devastatingly poignant speech that mentally demolished a new nemesis, and finally

• a beautiful, meaningful death in the arms of the man he’d dedicated so much of his life to, known that he was truly loved by him & completely accepting of the fact that Ed’s love was not in the form he’d always hoped for.

It was so much more than we could have hoped for, and was very obviously done in service to the MANY fans that had fallen in love with Izzy even after S1, as well as to give Con a storyline worthy of his immense talent. Considering the face that Izzy was never going to end up becoming the show’s third protagonist, it was more than we could have hoped for!

OFMD has two protagonists, Stede & Ed. All the secondary character narratives that haven’t directly involved Ed and/or Stede have been icing on the cake, but the cake has always been the Gentlebeard love story. I feel like some people forget this, expecting them to treat the secondary characters as if it were an ensemble show instead of a show with leads.

Izzy’s arc really was an amazing gift! The writers gave us this incredible journey for Izzy this season, and what did a disgraceful number of people do? They attacked David directly, insulted the entire show, the writers, & other characters, even wishing actual harm & misery to other characters or even to David himself!

While I know that comparatively speaking, the percentage of show fans who reacted this way was relatively small, it was still an astounding amount of hatred & vitriol thrown at the people who had obviously worked very hard to give Izzy fans something beautiful to hold on to after his inevitable death. Much of the discourse honestly shocked me, considering the fact that OFMD isn’t even an adaptation of another work.

When fans get angry at shows written as adaptations of books, it’s a bit more understandable for them to have extreme reactions. They’ve had certain ideas and headcanons about characters they’ve felt very strongly about for a long time. It can be really jarring & painful when expectations like that aren’t met, the characters or plots are taken in totally different directions, or even excluded entirely.

OFMD, however, is an original creation. This is David Jenkins’s story. These are David Jenkins’s characters. He knows his story, his plotlines, his characters far better than anyone else does because they came from HIS brain! So while we as fans can have our own interpretations & head canons, they are always going to be at risk of being proven totally wrong by the ACTUAL canon.

One of the worst aspects of fandoms, in my opinion, is the way people become so proprietary over the story & characters, insisting that their own interpretations & theories are the only correct ones, which is exactly what happened with Izzy. Fans’ individual & collective interpretations, theories, hopes, & other head canons became concrete & true in their minds. So much so that when the actual story didn’t meet those expectations, so many of them lashed out in some truly unpleasant, sometimes hateful ways.

My only hope is that the rest of the fandom’s love, appreciation, constructive criticism, heartbreak, pain, joy, & excitement has been enough to drown out the deluge of vitriolic comments directed at David & the other writers.

If you stuck with me through this unintentionally long diatribe, thank you! Maybe take a moment to give the writers some comments or replies on social media, showing your love! I know I will!

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

On Ed and Izzy's relationship

I see the "Izzy was the cunning mastermind manipulator in their relationship while Ed was his helpless innocent victim" take is doing the rounds again...

I honestly just feel sorry for anyone who can't comprehend and appreciate their relationship with its full complexity and nuance. Because it was simply magnificent. S01E04 alone is a masterpiece in character study that encapsulated their mutually toxic dynamic at its peak, and switching the character whose perspective you're watching it from completely switches what it looks like and who seems to be in the wrong. That episode was pure, beautiful, fucked up tragedy. They're both talking past each other. They both refuse to listen. Ed is crying out for help, but Izzy shuts him down. Ed wants to enjoy all those new fun original things on the ship that make him appreciate life again, but Izzy keeps nagging him. Clearly he's just an annoying, mean, insensitive buzzkill, right?

Except the whole time Izzy's terrified they are going to die because they're about to be attacked by the Spanish - something Ed brought upon them with his decision - and Ed seems completely disinterested in doing anything about it. Of course he's not going to indulge Edward playing with a toy ship or have a heart-to-heart in those circumstances. He doesn't insult or mock Ed for being suicidal, he simply points out that they're literally going to die if he doesn't come up with a plan right now. Meanwhile Ed's deliberately withholding crucial information from his own first mate and the rest of the crew, either (less charitable interpretation) for his own entertainment or to flex his skills or (slightly more charitable interpretation) to make a point to Stede.

The rest of it was so masterfully balanced out too. Right up until the point where Izzy betrayed them to the Navy, he didn't actually do anything wrong. Yes, he was still wrong - but so was Ed. Izzy was the "lawful evil". He was the one playing by the rules, while Ed was trying to cheat his way out of having to make a decision. Trying to run away from his problems instead of confronting them head-on (or just crashing into the opposite extreme and trying to violence his way out of his feelings) was literally the major theme of Ed's character. So was his inability to form meaningful relationships without bolting or lashing out the moment he encounters an obstacle. Completely removing this from the equation while putting all the blame on Izzy simply destroys Ed's agency and character depth.

We were literally given a glimpse of his childhood abuse to see where his trauma originated. It wasn't Izzy. Nor was it Izzy who appeared as the embodiment of Ed's self-hatred in the gravy basket. Izzy didn't somehow singlehandedly isolate Ed from forming meaningful relationships with people. He never had this much power over Ed. Their relationship was mutually toxic and codependent, but neither of them was each other's slave, they still had their own mind. We saw Ed constantly ignoring Izzy's advice and his judgment. We literally only saw it work when Izzy had the backup of other crew members and got overruled, and when he struck out at Ed when he was at his weakest and most vulnerable. And Ed wasted no time reestablishing the power dynamic in his favour, where it stayed until they managed to symbolically-and-almost-literally kill each in S02E02. That's what it took. That's how powerful their fucked up toxic relationship was.

That's exactly what I don't get about Ed fans who are Izzy haters (or misunderstanders). They claim to love Ed... and then they strip him of all the darkness and complexity and anything even remotely "unpalatable" that makes him such a richly realised character, and turn him into a cardboard cutout who's so indefensible as a character that the only way they can prevent people from criticising him is by pulling out the racism card. Which is so ironic and absurd because OFMD is amazing at diversity and writing characters equally well no matter what their gender, sexuality or skin colour is. It's also literally a show about one of history's most famous pirates. If someone doesn't want to see PoC characters portrayed behaving violently (even when that violence is shown to be caused by trauma and general pirate lifestyle and not indicative of their moral worth as a person), then OFMD probably isn't for them.

[whisperofsong]

Merry Christmas, Darlin’

Pairing: Rhett Abbott x Female Reader (no use of Y/N)

Summary: Your first Christmas Eve with Rhett in your new home proves to be memorable.

Word count: 4,087

Warnings: language and smut; this writing is intended for individuals 18+

Note: This writing piece was written for @lewmagoo ‘s Christmas celebration. Enjoy!

____________________________________________

You smooth out the creases in your sweater dress and fix a few wayward strands of hair that are out of place. The floorboards creek as you’re leaving your bedroom, something that’s become a comfort to you since you first moved in. You briskly walk downstairs and head for the front door, but before you pull your coat out of the closet, the lights on the Christmas tree catch your attention. You step toward it as your eyes scan the full branches, soft lights, and ornaments, each with their own story.

You’ve admired this tree countless times since you and Rhett assembled and decorated it, but you never tire of it. Scenes of you two unpacking boxes containing fragile and meaningful ornaments, smiling as you share anecdotes with him about each of the ornaments from your childhood, and his arms enveloping your middle from behind as you two bask in the coziness of the way the tree, adorned with lights, illuminates you, Rhett, and everything else its light reaches.

However, your smile dims when you remember that your husband’s not here. You know bull riding is Rhett’s passion and would never want to discourage him from pursuing it. Of course, this doesn’t stop you from fretting every time he winces after a ride or limps for several days after getting thrown off a bull. When he initially shared that this bull riding competition would involve traveling to Montana and leaving you for four days, your heart plummeted into your stomach. The timing wasn’t ideal.

Ever since you moved into your house together and made it into a home, you eagerly awaited all the “firsts.” First home-cooked meal, first Saturday morning, first time making love on your new plush mattress, first Thanksgiving, and now your first Christmas Eve. Rhett’s absence would change things, but the last thing you wanted to be was selfish. This meant a lot to him and he deserved to have this experience, so you encouraged him to go, despite the gnawing feeling in your chest.

Now, as you stare at your beautiful Christmas tree, you realize all you want is him beside you. All you want is to be in his arms, inhaling his familiar scent, and feeling his unshaven face in the crook of your neck. With one final look at the tree and a forlorn sigh, you put on your coat, get your purse, and shut the front door, counting down the minutes until Rhett returns tomorrow.

____________________________________________

Rhett closes the front door with a thud, flattening his palms against the door to ensure it’s fully shut. It’s older and needs an extra push these days to prevent the frigid outside air from permeating your rancher home.

He wipes his tattered work boots on the carpet and drops his hat on the nearby table. You aren’t home from your parents’ place yet, which Rhett had been counting on.

It’s your first Christmas Eve in your home that you saved for together. You both managed to save enough by February and were homeowners by July. Rhett could only shake his head at the memory of the air conditioning unit malfunctioning mere days after moving into this place. A repairman couldn’t make it out there to fix it until several days later much to your mutual dismay. Although it was stifling, Rhett didn’t mind those nights spent holding your naked body against his own.

Rhett wasn’t supposed to be home right now. He left on December 21st for a bull riding competition being held in Montana and wouldn’t return until Christmas Day or, at least, that was the original plan. He knew you were disappointed that you wouldn’t get to spend Christmas Eve with him and he shared this disappointment, but he also knew you understood the importance of his participation in the competition. You wouldn’t want to deprive him of doing something he loves. Instead, you decided to spend Christmas Eve with your parents to distract you from his absence.

When Rhett was seated on the bucking bull last night, moments before the gate opened and the timer began, visions of you flooded his mind. You wearing your navy scarf, the one that your grandmother made for you when you were twelve years old, that you cherish even more after all this time. The way your face exhibited gratitude when Rhett made your morning coffee, your fingertips grazing his own as he handed it to you. How you nestled into his side whenever you watched a movie, promising that you wouldn’t fall asleep, but when he glanced down, he was met with your closed eyes and even breathing, a faint smile on your face.

When the bull darted out of the gates, it was clear he was on a mission to be victorious, to rid himself of Rhett despite Rhett’s efforts to clutch the rough rope beneath him, perspiration gathering on his forehead. With gritted teeth, Rhett tried to maintain his focus, but all he could think about was you. Sure, it had only been a couple of days since he departed, but it might as well have been weeks. His grip eventually loosened and he couldn’t muster enough strength to regain his hold on the rope. The bull threw him off with a flourish and the deafening noise from the crowd amplified, but Rhett didn’t care because soon enough, he would be reunited with you.

Before you two met, Rhett was used to mundane, monotonous days that seemed to blend together. The ranch always took precedence and despite the grueling daily hours devoted to labor, the work never lessened. When the day was done, there was minimal conversation among Rhett and his family members. His house was void of affection aside from an occasional pat on the back or a brief hug that lacked feeling and warmth. Only emptiness resided there, the kind that numbed him during the day and kept him up at night.

But now? Rhett can’t wait for his days to begin because that meant making memories and falling even more in love with you.

As he stands by the stairs leading to your bedroom, Rhett rubs his bleary eyes that are evidence of his lack of sleep. Truthfully, he struggles with getting a restful night’s sleep and only seems to sleep well when you’re beside him. He really wants to wait until you’re home, but he can barely keep his eyes open. He lethargically ascends the stairs and just about collapses on the bed. He can’t even muster enough energy to take off his shoes, even though he knows you’d have a fit if you saw them on the bed. It’s one of your biggest pet peeves. His eyes fall shut within seconds and soon enough, he’s ensconced in a dream in which only the two of you exist.

____________________________________________

Two hours later

You unlock the door, but it only partially opens. You ram your shoulder into the door to open it fully and sigh heavily at your now sore shoulder as you’re certain there will be a bruise tomorrow. Eventually you would have the door fixed, but with the other recent expenses related to the house, it isn’t in your budget right now.

As you approach the short hallway between the entryway and the kitchen, your eyes land on the object resting on the table. Rhett’s hat. Your eyebrows furrow, questioning whether it had been there before. You don’t recall seeing it, but Rhett’s truck isn’t in the driveway. Besides, he won’t be home until tomorrow. He must have left it there and you were just oblivious to it until now. You just can’t believe he forgot to take his hat with him. He’s never forgotten it before. Nevertheless, you shake your head and move past it, deciding not to devote any more time to the subject.

The house is dark, except for the lit up Christmas tree, just as you left it. You stand in front of it once more, wishing you weren’t alone. It’s a dismal wish, considering it isn’t feasible. Your eyes suddenly become watery and you feel foolish for becoming emotional. After all, Rhett’s only been gone for a few days and will be home in less than 24 hours. Still, a melancholia falls over you and you can’t seem to fight it. As soon as you wipe a tear away, several more replace it and now, you’re a blubbering mess.

You’re caught up in your emotion, unaware of Rhett’s quiet footsteps as he slowly descends the stairs. “Hi, darlin’.”

You swiftly turn around, releasing a gasp, startled by the gruff voice in what you assumed was an empty house. The glow emanating from the Christmas tree confirms that the voice belongs to Rhett.

You blink several times, wondering if the solitary glass of wine you had at your parents’ house is making you disoriented. Would that be enough to make you see a mirage? It can’t be him…can it?

“What…what are you…how?” You’re barely able to formulate a sentence, incredulous at the sight of him.

A lopsided grin decorates your husband’s face, amused by your surprise. “Wanted to surprise ya.”

“You did,” you say breathlessly as you remain frozen by the Christmas tree. A deluge of tears streams down your cheeks and you make no effort to stop them from flowing.

“Baby,” Rhett exhales. He walks toward you and pulls you into him, with you melting against his chest. Your tears dampen his shirt, but when you try to apologize, Rhett won’t have any of it. He only squeezes you tighter and kisses the crown of your head.

When you pull back, you’re staring at him quizzically. “How are you here?”

He momentarily averts your gaze. “I lost, so there was no reason to stay.”

You cock your head to the side as you study him. “You don’t seem upset, though.”

He shrugs. “You win some, you lose some,” he tells you breezily.

“But you’re always disappointed after a loss. I don’t understand.”

His large hand cups your cheek, its size almost overpowering it, and his fingertips delicately caress your cheek in the process. “Winning the competition woulda meant another day apart from you. By losin’, I actually won because I get to be with my girl sooner. What could be better than that?”

You want to respond, to verbally convey your gratitude, but the emotion bubbling up inside you constricts your throat and your eyes are welling with more tears. You must look like a mess.

“Please don’t cry, darlin’,” he says gently, concerned eyes focusing on you.

“I just missed you so much. I’m really happy you’re here.” Your shaky voice is barely audible, just loud enough for Rhett to catch your words.

“I missed you, too. And I couldn’t be happier to have you in my arms.”

You give him a wobbly smile until another question surfaces. “Wait. Where’s your truck?”

Rhett chuckles. “I parked it at my parents’ place and wrangled Perry into givin’ me a ride.”

“So crafty.”

“I have to be with you,” he replies. Rhett surges forward, kissing you carefully without any plans of hastening it. You grab the fabric of his plaid shirt so that you’re pressed against each other, leaving no room between you. The kiss is tender and loving, but wandering hands and a mutual need lead to it becoming more heated.

Rhett breaks apart from you, his lips glistening and slightly swollen. His grip on your hips tightens and you know what he needs because it’s what you need, too. That’s one of your favorite things about him; that’s he’s often in sync with you.

He leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes when your palms glide down his clothed chest. You tug his chin forward, causing his eyes to open once more, locked on your own. “I need you, Rhett.”

His gaze intensifies, yet remains just as loving as it was when you first saw him minutes ago. “You have me,” he assures you. Without another word, his lips meld with yours and he effortlessly hoists you into his arms and gingerly carries you upstairs while never breaking contact.

Once you’re in your bedroom, Rhett briefly leaves your side to turn on the bedside lamp. It casts a soft glow on the two of you and you can’t help but smile at your husband.

“I wanna see all of you. I missed you too damn much to miss a thing,” he says in a raspy voice.

The wetness between your legs intensifies and you can’t resist the urge to rub your legs together as you stare at the man you love above you. He begins to remove his shirt, but you place a hand on his wrist to halt his movements.

“I’d like to do that for you,” you reveal.

His eyes light up at your request and he places his hands by his sides so that you can take over. You slowly undo the buttons and intermittently look up at Rhett, only to find pure adoration as his eyes remain on you. When you slide it off of him, he’s left in a plain t-shirt and faded jeans from years of wear and tear. You guide Rhett in raising his arms and he obliges so that you’re able to lift his t-shirt off with relative ease. His sinewy chest is on full display and your hands gravitate to it, touching his warm skin.

Before you have an opportunity to address his bottom half, Rhett lays you down and hovers above you. His lips instantly seek yours and his tongue requests entrance into your mouth. The kiss is fiercely consuming and yet not enough. You want more. You always want more when it comes to Rhett.

His fingertips stealthily slip underneath your dress and move back and forth just above the beginning of your panties. You lift yourself into his hand, signaling that you want what he’s offering. His lips dance across your jawline and travel to your neck as they nip, lick, and suck your skin. Satiated sounds escape you and your hands latch onto his behind, desperately needing something to hold.

“You’re still fully clothed, baby. I reckon we oughta fix that,” he whispers, his breath tickling your ear and sending sparks of electricity throughout your body.

“What about you?” You gesture to his jeans and pout.

“There’s plenty of time for that.”

He waits for your approval before he helps you sit up and kneel on the bed to remove your dress. He slides it down your body painfully slowly and pauses when it ends up around your waist. His pupils are enlarged as he notes the absence of a bra and looks at you questioningly.

“It wasn’t comfortable wearing one with the dress.” You bite your lip as you feel a little self-conscious in front of your husband. It doesn’t make sense after all this time you’ve been together, but it never lasts long.

He catches your apprehensive expression and runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “You should forgo one more often. Your tits are amazing.” He leans forward and captures one of your nipples with his mouth, savoring it as if it’s a type of dessert.

“Oh,” you moan lightly, falling forward as your strength dwindles. Rhett prevents you from losing your balance. Your fingers twist in his hair, giving it a disheveled look. “That feels so good, Rhett,” you praise him, reveling in the sensation of his tongue flicking your sensitive nipple. He directs his attention to the other one, licking and sucking with as much fervor as before, and you’re grinding against the comforter. The way he makes you feel is indescribable.

Rhett pulls off of you with a wet popping noise and shimmies the dress off of you completely before laying you down, the coolness of the comforter soothing your heated skin.

“You’re so beautiful,” he gushes, marveling at the expanse of your body as if he’s viewing it for the first time.

“So are you.” And while it may sound silly, you really mean it. Those steely eyes that only soften for you. His clenched jaw that is now looser. His guarded expression long gone only to be replaced with love for you. Others will never know Rhett Abbott the way you do and perhaps you prefer it that way. You’re the only one who makes him feel safe enough to be vulnerable; the only one who provides him with security to be his authentic self.

He resumes littering your neck with marks and you tug his hair, something you learned drives him wild when you first began dating. Rhett grinds against you with just enough pressure and you know you’ll see a wet spot leaking through your panties if you peer down at them. As much as you relish the feeling of him against you, you need more and can no longer stand the anticipation.

“Rhett. Honey.” You’re barely able to verbalize anything in this moment as his tongue glides across your neck.

He glances at you with a gentle questioning look. “Did I hurt you?” he asks, his tone laced with concern.

“No, not at all.” You brush his cheek to assure him and he leans into your touch. “I just really want you inside of me,” you whisper.

“It’s been a bit since we last made love and I didn’t want you to think I was rushin’. I really wanted to take my time with you before that,” he explains. He swallows while his eyes remain on your attentive gaze. “But…I need that, too. Need to feel you wrapped around me, darlin’.”

Rhett quickly pulls down his jeans and underwear, carelessly tossing them over his shoulder. You wrap your hand around his dick, lightly squeezing it and blushing at the way his eyes flutter as a result of the pleasure it brings him. You stroke him, creating a rhythm, but Rhett stops you.

“If you keep that up, I’ll come and I wanna come inside you.”

You don’t argue with him because you want the same thing and aren’t interested in delaying it any further.

Rhett hovers above you and drags his dick through your folds and over your clit, teasing you with the pleasure that awaits. You clutch his shoulders and whimper at the blissful contact. He knows you love being teased. “Oh, Rhett.”

“You’re soaked, darlin’. What’s got you so worked up?”

You’re almost tempted to roll your eyes because you both know exactly who the culprit is, but the thought exits your mind when your husband repeats this motion.

“Answer my question,” he commands, turning you on even more.

“You, Rhett. Always you.”

“That’s right. And I’m gonna take real good care of my baby,” he tells you as he enters you, stealing the breath from your lungs. His considerable size always requires some time to adjust, but you’ve grown accustomed to it and no longer experience discomfort like you did in the beginning. After the initial pressure subsides, the fullness of him dominates your attention.

Rhett begins to move in and out of you, causing you to jolt as your body relaxes, his movements quelling the ache within you, the one that desires him and only him. You’re so wet that every time Rhett pushes into you, a squelching sound can be heard along with the distinct sound of skin on skin. It’s obscene and further ignites the passion between the two of you. His dick is throbbing inside of you and it only inflates your ego more to know the effect you have on him. When his eyes move downward to where the two of you are connected, his composure falters and his mouth hangs open at the delicious view.

The sounds that leave you are moans mixed with breathless sighs, all evidence of your blissful state. When Rhett hits a particularly deep spot inside of you, you squeeze his biceps to alert him and he continues moving just so to hit it repeatedly. You close your eyes as his rhythmic hips meet yours, uncertain if anything could ever feel as good as he does in this exact moment.

“Feel so good wrapped around me, darlin’. Love feelin’ my wife’s perfect pussy.”

“Yes…yes.” These are the only words you can manage to utter right now because the way that Rhett’s moving in and out of your awaiting body is wickedly sinful and sensational. Without warning, he rolls over so that he’s on the bottom and you’re on top. Your messy hair falls in your face and your perky breasts are one of Rhett’s favorite views. He licks his lips in anticipation of getting his mouth on them again.

“Will you ride me, baby? Show me how much you missed me?” A subtle smirk appears because he already knows your answer. Your answer is always the same, exhibiting eagerness at the thought of taking control.

“Gladly. I’m gonna give you everything,” you tell him. You lift your hips and gradually sink down on his impressive length, reveling in the way his eyes roll in the back of his head and damp strands of hair stick to the side of his forehead. You two have already worked up quite a sweat. Each time you swivel your hips, your clit presses against his pubic bone, one of the main reasons the two of you favor this position. Both of you release approving noises at the sensation. Rhett lets you do this several more times before he sits up to angle himself deeper. You moan wantonly and wrap your arms around his neck to anchor yourself to him.

“Love watching your tits bounce. You’re so beautiful, darlin’.” Rhett wraps his wet and welcome mouth around one of your nipples, causing you to tip your head back as a result of the all-too consuming pleasure. This draws additional sounds from you as you lose yourself in him.

Both of your movements become more frenzied as you cling to each other. You know this act extends beyond a physical need. It’s never solely been physical for you two. You’re each other’s refuge, each other’s home and the love you share is incomparable to anything you’ve experienced. You’re made for each other.

When you sharply roll your hips against him, tiny shocks of electricity course through you, a telltale sign of your impending orgasm.

“I’m close,” you mutter. “So close, baby. You feel amazing. So good to me, Rhett.”

In response, Rhett lifts his own hips and the new angle targets that spot that never fails to have you shaking within seconds. This position in tandem with your swiveling hips brings you to the brink. When you look into his eyes, you’re met with adoration and sincerity and this is all it takes to send you tumbling over the edge. You tremble in your husband’s arms and succumb to the pleasure that repeatedly washes over you as he draws out your intense orgasm.

Once you’ve come down from your high, you feel Rhett begin to twitch inside of you. Your movements quicken and you encourage him to let go. “Go ahead, baby. It’s okay.” With these final words, his jaw slackens and a prolonged moan is followed by him coming inside of you.

“I love you. I love you so damn much,” he says hurriedly, his release filling you and leaving you satiated. You nod because you know the extent and magnitude of his love. You never doubt it.

“Love you, Rhett,” you whisper as the remnants of his release spill inside of you.

When you collapse on top of him, he buries his head into the crook of your neck as heavy breathing fills the otherwise silent bedroom. Your mingled breaths are almost melodious, your tangled limbs almost sacred.

“I’m so glad I came home,” Rhett shares as his hand moves up and down your back in a soothing motion. “Couldn’t stand to be apart a moment longer.” His sweet eyes search yours and although it’s not apparent to you, he’s contemplating how he got lucky enough to call you his.

“Me, too, Rhett. What a perfect first Christmas Eve in our new place.” You peck him on the cheek and lay your head directly over his heart, listening to its steady rhythm.

“I couldn’t agree more.” Rhett tips your chin and locks eyes with yours. “Merry Christmas, darlin’,” he says with a charming crooked grin, the same one you fell in love with years ago.

@luminousnotmatter @bradshawsbaby @sebsxphia @floydsmuse @attapullman @rhettabbotts @withahappyrefrain @delopsia @ryebecca @peachystenbrough

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! First off, it makes me so happy to see you out there fighting with your writer friends to ensure they receive a decent living wage for the amazing work that they do.

As for my question, I would love to hear about some of the inspiration for making Before I Wake. It and Absentia were the last two of your films that I watched, and BIW just absolutely destroyed me. No other movie, including and especially a horror flick, has ever made me bawl like a baby like that. The entire tone of the film is so spot-on, and the climax of the nightmare monster “dissolving” from its evil form after being embraced…. To me that scene just perfectly encapsulates what it’s like to be a parent, and human; sometimes we just need someone to hold us and let us know things will be all right. We spend so much of our time making sure that our children feel loved and cared for, that sometimes we forget about ourselves. And you just fucking nailed it, my dude.

Like I said, I would LOVE to read any backstory or inspiration that you have for this film! It’s so beautiful and underrated.

On the WGA front, don't be too impressed with me - I mean, I'm a professional writer, I've been a member of the WGA since Absentia, so I'm out there fighting for myself as much as everyone else.

But on the Before I Wake front, you know I very rarely get asked to talk about this one, so I'm happy to... fair warning for another long post!

Before I Wake was originally titled Somnia, which is latin for "dreams." It was part of an unofficial trilogy of sorts, comprised of Absentia, Oculus and Somnia. All three of those movies were meant to work together as a thematic triptych.

Ultimately, Before I Wake was brutally sabotaged by its own studio, who drastically undermined it creatively and then destroyed any hope of a meaningful release. It remains a particularly heartbreaking chapter of my career... but a film I have and will always have tremendous affection for.

A lot of people think that Somnia was made after Hush and Ouija: Origin of Evil, just before Gerald's Game, but this is entirely incorrect. It was actually the second "real" movie I ever made, and was actually shot before Oculus was even released.

The basic premise of Somnia focused around a little boy whose dreams manifested physically in the world around him, and was an original concept I carried around for a few years before Oculus got picked up by Intrepid Pictures. In fact, I've talked about my first meeting at Intrepid, where I pitched a few ideas that were rejected... Somnia was the first one I pitched. Trevor Macy opted to pursue Oculus that day, but he ended up producing Somnia right after.

This unofficial "latin trilogy" seemed to fit together well. Absentia was a somber and bleak look at the loss of hope, Oculus was more thrilling dive into the labyrinth of past trauma, and Somnia was meant to take that loss and trauma and end the triptych on a note of hope and healing.

In fact, the script for Somnia was written before Oculus was greenlit. On the page, it was my favorite of the three. I was very taken with the story of little Cody and his personal boogeyman, and of the revelation at the end of the story... that with understanding, even the most monstrous of our fears can lose their destructive power.

Cody's birth mother had died of cancer, and he had seen her just before her death. That final image of her, as well as a misunderstanding about the pronunciation of the word "cancer" had led to the creation of a monster in his mind, who he called the "Canker Man"... a gaunt figure who took away people that he loved. When he finally learns the truth about his monster, and about his mother, he begins to understand it all... and the monster loses its awful powers as empathy and understanding take root.

While Absentia finished its festival rounds and Oculus inched its way toward production, Somnia was my first script taken out to market by my new agency. I had signed with APA just as Intrepid engaged me on Oculus, which was my first studio writing and directing job. Jeff Howard and I finished our first draft of Oculus and turned it in to Intrepid, and immediately turned around and started writing Somnia.

The script got some interesting attention. While some of the more mainstream horror companies balked at the emotional ending and preferred a story that was "more about a boy and his monster" than the emotional wrap-up we insisted on, others understood it right away.

Elijah Wood and his producing partner Daniel Noah sought me out when they read the script. We met for drinks in Venice and I was absolutely starstruck, and we've remained friends ever since.

Jada Pinkett Smith was another big fan of the script, which led to a surreal afternoon at her stunning home where we talked about the story at length and watched an early cut of Oculus in her home theater. Will Smith joined us toward the end of the meeting, and I had a difficult time speaking.

I've written before about the drama surrounding Oculus' premiere and eventual sale to Relativity Media, so I won't rehash that now, but as Oculus raced toward release, Trevor Macy at Intrepid made an offer to produce Somnia for Relativity and I eagerly accepted. My first "real" movie was going to be released wide in theaters, and the same studio was going to double-down on me - Somnia was greenlit by Relativity for a big domestic theatrical release. We'd pre-sell our foreign territories on this promise, and they eagerly snatched the movie up. This was my own Hollywood dream, coming to life.

It wouldn't work out that way. In fact, Somnia would turn out to be the first nightmare of my career.

It started well enough. We had filmed Oculus in Daphne, Alabama, taking advantage of an aggressive tax rebate. We would do the same with Somnia, bringing back a lot of my Oculus crew and shooting in and around Fairhope. We began shooting in the fall of 2013, less than a year after we'd wrapped Oculus.

We hit the ground running. Very little time had passed since we wrapped Oculus, and the movie hadn't come out yet, so at first it felt a lot like we were just picking up where we left off.

Bruce Larsen, who also carved the Oculus mirror, working on a prototype of the Canker Man.

We had casting challenges. I was still a relatively unproven director, my first studio film hadn't been released, and this was an ambitious script. After a lengthy search (driven by foreign pre-sales, a process I knew nothing about and now quite detest), Kate Bosworth signed on to play Jessie, and Thomas Jane - who I admired greatly from his recent work in The Mist - joined the production as Mark. (Funny story - Tom arrived with hair down his shoulders, and vehemently didn't want to cut it. That disagreement put us off on an awkward foot, and I ultimately conceded the point to him... though I do regret that now.)

The major discovery was 7 year-old Jacob Tremblay as Cody. Jake had only made one movie before this, he had a small role in The Smurfs 2. His self-tape audition came out of nowhere and we knew was a a phenomenal talent. Right after we wrapped, I got a call that he was being considered for a movie called Room, and we shared some footage to help him get the part (that movie would establish him as one of the biggest and most sought after child actors in the world... but we had him first.)

We were committed to practical effects wherever possible, and creating a striking suit for our monster. It all felt like it was going to work. But the shoot would prove to be much more challenging than we anticipated.

The shoot itself was challenging for the typical reasons. There was a little creative tension on set with particular actors, we didn't have enough money to pull off our more ambitious visual moments, and we were forced to remove several production days at the last minute, throwing our schedule into a bit of chaos.

But none of these issues were particularly unusual for a lower budget film, and while it was more challenging and frustrating than Oculus had been, overall the shoot was just fine. I felt that our third act was pretty drastically under budgeted, and what was scripted to be a deep dive into a child's imagination was stripped down to a few vines on the walls and some moths... but other than that, I don't really have much to complain about.

(Fun fact: it was also the first time I would work with Annabeth Gish. We were fast friends, and though she was only with us for a few days, I knew we'd end up working together again.)

We wrapped the movie, I got to editing, and all seemed fine. It was a unique story, much less horror-centric and much more of a fairy-tale. This was, of course, by design. There was a delicate vibe to the whole thing, anchored on Jacob's arresting performance, and a shadowy magic. It felt innocent, wondrous, and ultimately cathartic.

Then, Relativity got their first look at the cut, and the problems started in earnest.

We had been clear (and aligned, I'd thought) about what kind of movie this was. But almost immediately, despite these conversations, the studio began to push the film more and more toward being a traditional horror movie.

We had designed a practical monster in the Canker Man. Our creature was tactile, practical, and - we believed - appropriately simple. After all, it was meant to have come from the mind of a child.

The studio kicked hard, and the directive came down to try to make the monster "much scarier."

There wasn't a lot we could do; we'd shot what we'd shot, after all. The decision was made to take our footage of our practical monster and drastically alter it using visual effects.

The Canker Man would be digitally warped and molded into a skeletal, grinning creature. The visual effects artists would be using footage that wasn't captured with the intention of being altered that way, so a lot of the artifice would be obvious. He'd become a little rough around the edges. We told ourselves that this would be okay... it was a dream, after all.

Early camera tests of our practical Canker Man suit

The final VFX-enhanced monster This began to nudge our monster away from our core concept. While our practical suit would always need some help from VFX, this was now tilting into an area that strayed from the true identity of the creature.

Another major sticking point was the plot itself.

In the movie, Cody's adopted mother Jessie is shocked to find a physical manifestation of her deceased son, Sean, after Cody sees his picture. She then goes about trying to "rebuild" her dead son in the imagination of her new foster child, hoping to see and interact with him more... "I just want to hear his voice."

This morally questionable exploitation of Cody was, to put it mildly, the entire point of the story. Jessie goes too far, and when she finally resorts to drugging Cody to force him to sleep in the hopes of seeing her lost son, he is unable to wake up from a nightmare and her husband is killed.

Jessie spends the rest of the film clawing her way back to redemption, and having to atone for what she's done, all while finally focusing on Cody's past and healing instead of her own.

As a character, Jessie does things we do not agree with, and they have serious, permanent consequences. And the moral murkiness of this was, frankly, the point.

The studio was flinching hard. "It makes her unlikeable," they argued. There was a push to try to back off of this, and to pull the punch... sure, she could exploit him somewhat, but they wanted to pull it back. Kate Bosworth's performance began to be altered in the cutting room, flinching away from some of the more decisive choices in favor of a more watered-down, morally generic heroine.

This middle ground would prove to be ill-advised.

As we were battling over the edit, something else happened. Oculus was released in theaters in April 2014.

If the movie was a huge hit, it would mean I would likely win more of these arguments, and Somnia would be restored to something closer to my vision. If the movie bombed, the studio could (and likely would) run ramshot over Somnia, twisting it into a more generic studio horror story and jettisoning things they didn't quite understand.

Ultimately, the movie performed... moderately. It was kind of right in the middle. It wasn't a failure, but it wasn't a hit either. Both sides dug in. And suddenly, Somnia was being twisted into something between two tones.

Citing the "disappointing" performance of Oculus (which, frankly, did just fine), the studio insisted that we write and shoot some additional "scares". Among them was one of the worst studio notes I'd ever receive (well, at least until I started working for Netflix.)

The entire premise of the film was that, when Cody slept, his dreams would manifest physically. When he woke up, they would vanish. This was, to put it bluntly, our only rule.

The note came in: "We need a scare set piece to occur when he is awake."

Now, I can't understate how nonsensical this is. It defied the entire premise of the movie. Their rationale (such as it was) was that the audience wouldn't ever be frightened when Cody was awake, because they knew the monsters only came when he was asleep.

"Well yeah," I said. "That's why it's important that the movie isn't just about scares."

But they were insistent. If a monster showed up while Cody was awake, that would be "truly thrilling" and "catch the audience off-guard."

It was the equivalent of saying "the shark in Jaws only attacks people if they're in the water. We need an attack to occur on land." I mean, that would really catch the audience off-guard.

I had no idea how to address this note.

It was early in my career, I didn't have a theatrical hit under my belt, and I didn't have the ammunition to fight it. So I had to address it somehow, and it had to satisfy the studio, or else we may not get our theatrical release after all.

So I ended up writing a scene where Cody is wide awake, only to be attacked in his bed by the specter of a deceased bully (a previous victim of one of his dreams).

How the fuck were we going to make this make any sense? Well, we had to write a whole other scene - much earlier in the film - where a therapist explains the concept of "waking dreams." Jay Karnes (who was a lovely person and one hell of a good sport) had to randomly say "you know, some people can dream while they're awake" to Bosworth, desperately trying to set up this moment.

It doesn't quite work, to say the least. Cody looks under his bed, sits up, and is attacked by this eye-less specter. Then, he's dragged screaming under his bed, until the attack just... stops, for some reason.

We filmed it, and I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever shot (it wasn't, though - the stupidest thing I've ever shot remains the on-screen stalking and murder of a cat in the pilot of Midnight Mass, a truly braindead scene that Netflix insisted on adding.)

Along with this scene, which would become the crux of Relativity's trailer, we shot several other random scares that were peppered throughout the movie. Now, this wasn't enough to tip the film entirely into being a horror film... just enough to make it exist awkwardly in between two genres.

It got worse. The addition of all this new "horror" material made the film longer (go figure), so the directive came down to begin removing other elements to make room. Those elements were character development and context.

The cut began to get bumpy. The fairy-tale tone of most of our original footage was at odds with the overt horror tone the studio was insisting upon. Every time we tested one of these cuts, the audience was understandably confused... they really loved the concept, they really loved Jacob, and they all loved the ending revelation - but along the way, what was this movie? Was it a horror film? Was it a drama? A fantasy?

Even with this, our test screenings were actually pretty good. We were testing in the high sixties and seventies - which is, infuriatingly, right in that middle zone: not good enough to kill the studio interference, but not bad enough to let them take over.

So we kept fighting. And we kept cutting. And we kept testing. And with each screening, the studio forced it further and further into this no-man's land.

There were a few victories, though. Danny Elfman came on board to collaborate with the Newton Brothers on our score. Some of our non-horror sequences, like a scene involving Christmas-light butterflies, were being called out by our test audiences in the best ways. But the tug-of-war over the basic identity of the film was tipping decidedly toward the more horror-centric approach.

Finally, the studio came after the title. Somnia was too confusing, they said. Nobody knew what it meant. So, we added a scene where Jay Karnes - once again having to naturally sell force-fed exposition - literally defines the world "somnia" during a therapy scene (these therapy scenes were basically being used to spoon-feed material to the audience.)

That wasn't enough, though. The studio began workshopping other titles, and they landed on perhaps my most hated of all of the options: the ultra-generic Before I Wake, a title already used by a handful of low-budget thrillers over decades. We conceded after it was made clear that it wasn't really up to me in this case, and we limped into what I consider to be the worst title of my career.

With our new uneven tone, a new and "improved" monster, and a groan inducing title, they finally agreed to stop messing with the movie and honor their commitment to releasing it wide.

You tell yourself a lot of things in this business, and I told myself that the heart of the story - the revelation about where the concept of the Canker Man came from - was still intact, so all would be well. Viewers would be able to look past some of the bumps because the payoff was worth it.

But we didn't know what else was happening at Relativity.

They announced the release date for the film, posters started showing up in theaters, and we were anxiously awaiting our big wide theatrical release... when suddenly everything stopped.

We didn't know it yet, but Relativity Media was having huge financial problems. They were on the verge of bankruptcy, as a matter of fact, and though they weren't admitting it yet, internally they were in a state of absolute chaos.

Without warning or explanation, the studio moved us off our date. The movie wouldn't be released after all. We immediately knew something was very wrong, despite Ryan Kavanaugh's insistence that our date was "just a bad date," and that he'd moved the movie in order to make it "an even bigger success." No, this whole thing stunk. It stunk bad.

They set another date, and we watched and waited. But no trailers. No marketing. And then... that date was pushed as well. Again, they insisted everything was fine. But we knew. Something was deeply wrong with the company, and they were lying to us.

Some of this played out publicly. Kavanaugh and I got into a spat on Twitter when I suggested that the studio wasn't able to release the movie theatrically after all (I still don't regret saying this, and man oh man, was I proven right).

Meanwhile, our international distributors were scrambling. We'd sold a lot of international territories off the promise of our big theatrical release in North America, and they weren't going to wait forever. By the third time Relativity pushed our release date, the whole house of cards fell down, and various international territories started releasing the film haphazardly on whatever platforms they could.

There was no coordinated release strategy. Suddenly, the film was just available in Argentina, for example. Or it was On Demand in Russia. I remember being shocked when a German Blu-ray appeared on eBay without warning.

There was no rollout to critics, no coordination at all. Within a few weeks, it was pirated and available on torrent sites everywhere. And without a proper press rollout, the only reviews available were trickling in from these international markets, or random blogs in other countries. A slew of reviews - many of which were from obscure blogs in Russia and Turkey, not even written in English - hit Rotten Tomatoes. With no counterpoint from any credible critics, we debuted with a 30% rotten rating.

It would stay this way for years.

Relativity finally admitted the truth, declared bankruptcy, and went to court. Our movie was dragged down into the vortex with it. Our abysmal tomatometer score suggested that the movie wasn't released because it was bad, not because the studio had gone bankrupt. This assumption stuck to us like glue as the film languished in bankruptcy court.

Heartbroken, we turned our attention elsewhere. I would write and direct both Hush and Ouija: Origin of Evil before the whole distribution saga of Before I Wake was finally resolved.

In the years that followed, very little would be said about Before I Wake, and whatever was said was absolutely not positive... how bad must this movie be, after all, to be so unceremoniously pulled from the release? Some theaters just left the poster up, still saying "Coming Soon." I know of one theater in LA that had it up for over a year.

By the time Relativity finally settled their mess, and the film was unceremoniously given back to us with the most lackluster apology imaginable, and our chances of a domestic theatrical distribution were entirely obliterated. The film was already available online through piracy and a tiny handful of foreign blogs had defined our critical reception. No other studio would touch it.

We were able to arrange one screening of the film once it was unencumbered... we had a single showing at Fantastia in Montreal, a festival I adore. Instead of a huge worldwide theatrical release, the movie would play exactly one time, to one audience.

It was sold out, it played wonderfully, and it remains one of my favorite screenings of my career.

With Mitch Davis, Fantasia's artistic director, Kate Bosworth, and my wife Kate Siegel.

In the years that had passed since we shot Before I Wake, Kate Siegel and I had gotten married. At the premiere, and in the picture above, Kate was pregnant with our son.

We named him Cody, after the little boy in Somnia... the little boy whose dreams came true.

In 2016, Netflix acquired the North American rights to Before I Wake, and quietly dumped it on the service. There was no premiere, no rollout, no screeners sent to critics. One day it just appeared on the service without fanfare, as Netflix does to so many titles.

It didn't even appear on the New Releases tab.

A few critics found the movie on their own, and slowly some new reviews started to trickle out. Bloody Disgusting led the charge, discussing how the film had been wrongfully maligned over the years, and correcting identified it as a "haunted fairy tale" that was being handicapped by the expectations that it was a horror film.

Our tomatometer began to slowly rise. After some time, it tipped out of "rotten" into "fresh"... and today stands comfortably at 66%. Those early, malicious reviews are still there, the movie is still scarred by them... but despite Relativity (and eventually Netflix's) efforts to rebrand the movie as a straight horror film, most critics were able to see it for what it truly was.

Our audience was as well, for the most part. Some viewers yawning their way through the Netflix original horror feature section would find it, and get something maybe just a little more thoughtful than they were expecting. A few people reached out to me to talk about losing their own loved ones to cancer, or about how the sweeter elements of the story impacted them. I've always been grateful for that.

But ultimately, the movie was just brutalized by its studio. I've never again had so much damage inflicted on a project by a creative partner and supposed collaborator. And while Netflix did the bare minimum when it came to releasing the movie, I am still very grateful that that they even did that much... if it wasn't for Netflix picking it up, I think there's every chance Before I Wake would have never been made available at all.

I'm proud of the movie. It's not perfect, by any means - it was an ambitious sophomore effort and I had a lot to learn about a lot of things - but it has some beautiful ideas and some moments that really work. I see its flaws clearly, too, and while I tell myself some were out of my control (like the awkward scares forced on us by Relativity), others were most certainly entirely on me. Not everything works, and that's okay.

But man, Jacob Tremblay is phenomenal in this movie. And I absolutely adore the final ten minutes.

My son Cody is almost 7 now, exactly as old as Jacob was when he was cast to play his namesake. I hope Cody's dreams come true; that's why we named him what we named him.

Sometimes, our dreams don't come true quite how we might expect.

Hollywood is just kinda like that, I guess.

[jojo-schmo]

Beauty and the Beast, but it's Metadede?

Ohohoho-!! This one really got me thinking!! :D If I had unlimited emotional bandwidth and time this could be a fun concept to explore a BUNCH! I'm a sucker for fairy tales! I'm not capable of fully developing this idea right now, but I did brainstorm a little bit!

There's some aspects of that story that I just can't think of good parallels for (Like Gaston, Belle's dad, Belle's character motivations and such). So this is more Beauty and the Beast inspired than being a perfect retelling.

Anyways, ENOUGH TALK. LET'S GO.

So when I read this ask, I immediately got slammed with a very passionate and explosive Brain Blast: Dedede as Beast!! BUT he's got an appearance inspired by King D-Mind (And Dark Mind by extension) and a beastly demeanor like his Primal form in Forgotten Land. So this is not Shadow Dedede!! Important distinction!

Like Dedede's personality in early Kirby games, he would be selfish and arrogant enough to be cursed by an Enchantress to find true love and compassion. (So the rose and its petals are still connected to this curse's time limit.) But at his core there is a being capable of love, compassion, and self-sacrifice! It just takes a bit of character development to get there!

Meta stumps me a bit more. He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy singing about how "there must be more than this provincial life..." And who would Gaston even be?? Beats me.

So instead of being a damsel from a small town with big dreams, maybe he's some kind of traveling knight or mercenary who has always worked alone. He's got a stoic demeanor that can even come off as cold since he doesn't make many meaningful connections with others. But those walls he's put up over his life are indeed capable of coming down with a little care!

You'll also have to forgive me for how little I changed Meta's design... I did this during my lunch break and all I could think of was adding some gold flourishes to his outfit- but there is definitely more potential there than I came up with!!

Why would he get stuck being Dedede's prisoner? Perhaps he bartered someone else's imprisonment for his own. Or he found himself in debt by chance to the King, or accidentally disturbed/destroyed/or damaged something important to him and has to pay with a prison sentence.

Whatever the reason, he's truly stuck living there. And they super do not get along at first. Dedede's fiery temper and Meta's colder exterior would be at odds a lot of the time.

Jumping ahead a bit, here's that scene from the original where Beast defends Belle from a bunch of wild wolves (but here they're Primal Awoofies!)

And from there, the character development continues.... Meta warms up a little and shows more emotion and vulnerability than he ever has before. Dedede cools down in turn and learns that he is worthy of affection and genuine connection... And so on and so on~

As for the supporting character roles filled by "Beast's servants," I figure most of Kirby's allies could be in this role! I just only explored Bandee and Kirby to start with.

I had trouble coming up with household object forms for them (granted I didn't invest that much time into it). So I thought about another time-sensitive form they could take that is high-stakes enough that they'd want to turn back to normal and break the curse. So I came up with the ghostly angel form that happens when you get knocked out in Kirby Fighters. :)

So there you have it! A few days worth of daydreaming for a metadede Beauty and the Beast-type story! Hehe. If anyone happens to find themselves inspired and wants to develop this further as an exercise in AU writing or just plain having fun with it, DO IT! This is my donation to the internet, lol.

...Just please share it with me. I love reading people's stories. <3

[cam-ulu29]

hey in case you forgot (you forgot) Jared and Misha didn’t play the same Lucifer. So if you’re hating on one or the other for not portraying the character right, it’s because you’re remembering the wrong Pellegrino!Lucifer.

Kripke-Era Lucifer was the youngest of the archangels. Quiet, brooding, and prone to temper tantrums, he got kicked out of heaven because he hated humans and told Chuck to shove them up his ass, wrongly assuming that his father would love him more. He loves nature and wants to return earth to its natural beauty. He’s powerful and menacing. He speaks softly and has meaningful, intellectual conversations. Most importantly, he’s confident. In his mind, he was always going to win.

Post-Kripke era Lucifer is the oldest of the archangels, God’s first creation, born to help him fight the darkness and tasked with guarding the lock and key of her cage. He was Chuck’s most beloved, only locked away when his corrupted mind threatened all of creation. This Lucifer is cunning and hateful. His snarky comments hide his insecurities, because this Lucifer has lost. He lost his fight against humanity, he lost his father’s love, he even lost his own followers, the demons he tempted away. He lacks direction, and so spends his time in pettiness and sarcasm. He’s an emotionally unavailable little shit who doesn’t care about anything, not even nature.

Both Jared and Misha did a good job imitating Pellegrino…but Pellegrino did very different things in season 5 and season 11. He wasn’t humorous in season 5. He wasn’t powerful in season 11. The storyline demanded different things of Lucifer, and the character evolved as well. Most importantly, the loss of confidence after his defeat. Both interpretations are good imitations when seen in their original contexts. Of course Casifer looks weird when you compare him to the original Lucifer, and Samifer looks weird when you come back to him while remember the revamped, funny Lucifer.

Personally, I loved both.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a commonplace book

saturday, jan 27, 2024

*brennan lee mulligan voice* heeeeeeeelllllllllllllloooooooOOOOOOOOO one and all and welcome back for another thrilling episode of...whatever this is. thank you for being here.

It's 2024! Say hi, intrepid heroes!

reading recently finished:

-orwell's roses by rebecca solnit (audio) - glad I listened, ultimately very gratifying - history, criticism, extremely lush garden-filled prose and love for growing things - nona the ninth by tamsyn muir - felt so much about [redacted] it made me cry. i can unblock ALL THE TAGS NOW - the blue sword by robin mckinley (audio) - catching up on old school fantasy continues -when the angels left the old country by sacha lamb (audio) - beautiful. not not in conversation with good omens but doing something different.

recently begun: -the ministry of the future by kim stanley robinson - can't decide if it's a scifi novel or a policy brief about ways to combat climate change- reading on my mom's recommendation -babel: an arcane history by r.f.kuang - withholding judgment, but i know you probably want me to hate it and so far i don't, really! to my own surprise -the shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafrón (audio) - spooky, post-modern but incredibly good at sounding like it is of the time it depicts. many thoughts on the audio book narrator's accent work, most favorable -one corpse too many by ellis peters. wild that i have only just begun reading the cadfael mysteries

listening last week was about discovering and putting on continuous loop the group trousdale on the recommendation of @m2pixie (!) and other trusted friends; the energy, the harmonies! they fill a girl group void i didn't realize i had, it feels like the best kind of throwback, like old chicks or something, some desperately needed bops. exhibit a: bad blood.

today my daylist introduced me to joy oladokun and i'm so glad it did. love her vibe, love this cover art. had to take a picture of my desk, the visuals were so satisfying.

watching the newest series of netflix's lupin!! so far i'm really, really enjoying where this season has been spending most of its time-- the new characters, the new heists, the new stakes. especially fun to watch with friends where we can all shout about the mrs doubtfire of it all, the betrayals, the misdirection, the 'he can't keep getting away with this!.' the original lupin series will always bring back memories of watching it in early lockdown; i'm glad that there's this now to think about and remember instead.

playing hollow knight hollow knight hollow kniiiiiiight. bought it a few months ago when it was on sale, after hanging out and watching @dimir-charmer stream for us a bit, but playing it yourself is a different game. i'm having a blast. it's becoming a problem. i'm having to be so so good and mature in how much i let myself just get suckered in to a full day spent in my little buggy maze adventures. the temptation to keep going until i've made a meaningful advancement of some kind (today: got the longer nail! last time: beat hornet! saved zote the mighty, got the baldur shell charm, and beat the gruz mother!) is very, very real. have also gotten around this by listening to lots of lo-fi hollow knight beats to relax and study to while being 'productive.'

(found this screenshot online, and holy extra health batman)

making pancakes. lots and lots of weekend pancakes. sent a bunch of mail since new year's, and have some new arts and crafts (charcoal pencils!! those little paper cone blender guys! better paper) to fuck around with next time i want to get ~artistic. watch this space.

working on teaching is so all-consuming. it's great, i love it. the course (maps class! if you see that tag, this is that) is going well, i think! first three lectures down. the students i've gotten to know i really like, the material has yet to get old (see one - do one - teach one is so real. i understand this class now, finally, in a way i don't think i did just being the TA, even after three times). it takes so much longer to just copy-paste-change color and font on slides than it should! i've regularly been getting four-five hours of sleep on monday nights before teaching on tuesdays, but it has meant that i don't have the brain space to be self-conscious while i'm 'on', i just. go. having fun selecting teaching 'fits, having (less) fun handling all the students who joined in the second or third week and need help with catching up, but it's not their fault there was a waiting list and lots of turnover.

(petrus roselli - portolan chart of the mediterranean, 1466)

non-teaching: - student letter of recommendation for dental school (DONE) - conference panel proposal (due 1/31) -submit revised conference paper for that prize (due 1/30) -send draft of grant application to A for her to be able to write a letter of recommendation (due IMMEDIATELY WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR) (you have until 2/15 to fix it but she needs the draft!) -chapter 3 edits (lmao) -read for that other course you're meant to be the TA for (oops) - give i. feedback on her thing (tonight) -RAship hours (c'mon these are actually paid work, please do them)

[a-la-campanella]

Finally got a chance to watch Ruan Mei's Myriad Celestia trailer! What a beautiful video. I hope I win my 50/50 while pulling for her.

A few thoughts:

She says "plum blossoms (梅花) bloom and wither", and I can't help but think of the double meaning where the plum blossoms would refer to her, Ruan Mei (阮梅). In her eyes, life is transient and to live is to be lonely... though the way I see it, that's part of what makes life so beautiful. It's what you make out of life that makes your life meaningful.

We all saw the connections to Shuhu, or if not Shuhu then at least some other kind of abomination of the Abundance on "No Man's Land" right? That is undoubtedly a reference.

Other people have already pointed out that these look like Blade's eyes, and it's pretty well established among people that Mihoyo/Hoyoverse does not play around with stuff like coincidences. It's definitely intentional, and there's absolutely a connection.

The design reminds me of the eyes from the Herrscher of the Void in Honkai Impact 3rd, though I don't know enough about that game or its lore to comment anything else there.

"I understood the vastness of the universe too early[...] birth, growth, death... lamenting the process of life is the origin of my thinking." A lot to unpack here.

More importantly to me, I get where she's coming from. Her train of thought follows, if life is meant to die anyways, what's the point of existing/living? It's too hard to comprehend. There's no simple answer for something like that, and people dedicate their lives to finding answers or making satisfactory responses of their own.

The "pure" thing she's trying to achieve, the "fundamental" research she's looking for, the "mysteries of the universe" and "deeper answers"... it's likely something above the realm of life and beyond the laws of nature, born out of her laments.

It becomes quickly obvious that Ruan Mei's research is investigating the Abundance Propagation, especially given her interest in biological sciences.

"It is born of wonder, does not resist, and does not grieve." Is... is she talking about the fucking critters? My bet's on "it" being kind of artificial life-form, and the critters are the only thing I can think of right now that's relevant to her character and what we know about the next update.

In quotes: "It asked me... where does the research end...?" Why is the "it asked me" part quoted too in the subtitles? Is this going to be a line in a quest? Regardless, Ruan Mei's pursuit of that which transcends mortal bounds is... probably where her research will end. Depends on if she'll ever make it that far, who knows?

In pointing out the color in life then saying "it has nothing to do with me", she establishes distance between herself and her mortality. Which. I mean. When you live in a universe where what must have been long thought to be impossible has become probable, and an individual can outlive the rise and fall of civilizations, I guess she's not wrong. She could be effectively immortal if she wanted to; think of her colleagues, Herta and Screwllum. But that's such a sad way to look at life, detaching yourself from caring at all... nothing to lose, nothing to gain, so she says. What an objective approach to everything. No care for the details at all.

The part I think that caught the most attention: "dissect Remembrance, control Equilibrium, deconstruct Beauty, and reproduce Permanence" via manipulation of life. A lot to say here too, but I can workshop that in another post.

Obviously, these refer to the various Aeons, in order being Fuli, HooH, Idrila, and Long, the latter two of which are dead.

The subtitles censor the word, but it's rather clear she says "perhaps I, too, can become an Aeon". At least, it's clearly heard in the English version.

In the Chinese video what I ended up hearing was "成为星" (literally means become a star) but the subtitles say "成为██", which indicates she actually meant to say something else and is missing a second character. Aeon in Chinese is 星神 (star god), so it's more likely than not that the word she said here is Aeon.

I don't even know with the Japanese dub, man. I turned on subtitles and saw the ██, but thought I heard 「イーオン」 (aeon, but with a Japanese accent). I don't play in Japanese dub so I have no clue if they say 星神 as Aeon read with katakana or as the way it's intended to be pronounced in Japanese.

I'm of the opinion that Ruan Mei doesn't actively want to be an Aeon. To begin with, her interests don't have to do with ascending to the position of one anyways, but rather, being an Aeon brings her a step closer to what she actually wants to achieve: finding the secrets within the universe. She can work towards that goal even without becoming an Aeon.

She points out that children behave better when given rewards, and at the end of the video mentions she'll reward her "assistant"/the Trailblazer. I get where she's coming from, but that is such wild whiplash to end on.

Great video, 10/10, would watch again. I did. In three of the four languages the video was officially released in... I don't understand Korean. The people casted for her voice did a fantastic job. Looking forward to seeing her soon, and good luck to everyone pulling!

[cobaltrequiem]

I meant to send this yesterday but as someone who has loved bioshock for years I’m genuinely very curious to hear your thoughts on the games if you’re up for sharing some of them

OMG HI sorry I didn't see this in my ask box! Thanks for the ask @sand-worms and appologies for the rambling ahead!

The first BioShock game is my favourite out of the whole series, but that's partially because I'm quite sentimental about it. It was one of the first "serious" games that I had ever played. I was a teenager and before that point I was only allowed to play "family friendly" games. BioShock was one of the first games I bought with my own money on my own console (a switch lite I saved up for myself), and it was wonderful. The way it wasn't afraid to be overtly political and it wasn't afraid to frighten or challenge the player. It didn't treat you like an idiot.

I soaked up every aspect of it. The gameplay. The setting. The area designs. The characters. The messages that it wore on its sleeve. And the story, god the story! I was completely transfixed by it.

I finished it in two days, and I still consider it to be one of my top 5 games of all time. I wrote an essay on it's themes for my higher english course, and still regularly think about it.

It is one of the two games ever that has caused me to have an epiphany about videogames, not as simply an enojyable experience but as art, and truthfully I cannot bring myself to replay it. My first experience with it was so thorough and meaningful that I cannot bring myself to replay it. I know it wouldn't be the same. You were beautiful and I can never play you again.

I played BioShock 2 shortly after, and was initially quite disapointed at it for not being BioShock 1. You could tell that the story was written after 1 and that bugged me. Its political messaging also didn't seem as pointed to me.

However, throughout the course of the game I grew to really appreciate it's differences. The personal connection between Elanor and Subject Delta was incredibly touching. The choices in the game felt more meaningful and gave it an aspect of replayability that the first BioShock game did not have. The gameplay aditions were also great! I loved using the drill in particular, it was an incredibly satisfying weapon to use. It's story about altruism also resonated with me despite the slow start and I thought the adition of multiple endings (that didn't hinge on "is murdering children bad?") was also great.

BioShock 2 only took me a single day to complete, I sat down for 10 hours and played it all the way through with very few breaks, and I do seriously intend to revisit it - I own a copy for the xbox 360 now which should be infinitely better than playing on a switch lite. Overall its a very well made game, it just doesn't hold the same place in my heart as the original.

BioShock Infinite haunts me.

It's a game that had so much potential. The religious horror. The game's aesthetics. Playing a character that talked and reacted to things!

I went in with high hopes and loved it initially. I had a very personal experience with it too, albeit in a very different way. When I was a young child my dad bought a copy of BioShock Infinite shortly after it released and I would sit in the living room while he played it. It terrified me.

I have particularly vivid memories of the scene at the fair, it was maybe one of the first genuinely terrifying things I'd seen in a piece of media. It was a foundational memory for me and is perhaps where some of my love of horror comes from as an adult because it didn't just scare me to the point of tears, it fascinated me. The gore laden glory kills and the mechanised patriots were similarly horrifying but I never stopped watching. There was something alluring about this game I shouldn't have been seeing.

I really wanted to like BioShock Infinite but just couldn't. The story at times seemed like an excuse to get you from one point to another, the fence sitting centrist politics were tiring, and it tried to do everything at once.

BioShock Infinite was not a good game, but it was mediocre in an interesting way and that has stuck with me.

It wanted to be a political drama. It wanted to be high concept sci-fi. It wanted to be religious horror.

The area design made you feel like you were going around in circles. Vigours had very little story or gameplay relevance making them seem like a pointless adition clearly only meant to imitate plasmids. It didn't feel like a BioShock game but despite all of that it had potential. So many different ideas went into it, so many interesting storybeats and scenes and themes went into it but it just ended up feeling muddy and convoluted.

I can pick out so many things I like about it, so many things that are interesting and could have been amazing but weren't

Not too long ago I read a post from someone on this site. Something along the lines of "a good game will stay with you for a week, but a game that's mediocre in an interesting way will stick with you for life"

My dad never finished BioShock Infinite, but I did. I still think about it to this day.

[mulitfandommadness]

Some thoughts on HGSN chapter 21-1

This is not a Shounen battle manga, and a good thing, too, but am I the only one who feels that there has been an awful lot dialogue in HGSN lately? Anyway, in and of itself, this is a well-written chapter with a lot of meaningful callbacks, but what irks me is how completely disconnected it is from the previous one (with angry-eyes Hikaru's nightly visit to take a peek at Yoshiki's beautiful soul), so much so that it makes me wonder whether this was really originally planned as its continuation.

Be that as it may, what I found most striking about this instalment is how perceptive Hikaru has become. He immediately realises what Yoshiki is doing (after getting nostalgic about the hand-drawn Super Mar*o level, which is a brilliant idea, despite the fact that these memories are not his) and tries to be sympathetic, and he has also figured out the true reason for Yoshiki's reaction to his bare chest in that gym storage room (originally it seemed to him that Yoshiki found him repulsive, while the opposite was true).

This scene is also a continuation of their heart-to-heart talk during the summer festival, when Hikaru asked whether Yoshiki perceived him and the real Hikaru to be the same (which he denied). Now he asks the next logical question: how are they different? It's noteworthy that Yoshiki's description of the real Hikaru in this context also includes some negative traits, and what an irony that he fells that the otherworldly existence next to him is easier to figure than his childhood friend.

And then, Hikaru, who seems to have learned a thing or two about liking people, drops the bomb by asking the big question , which really catches Yoshiki unprepared. It is pretty obvious that he doesn't want to face his own feelings, and he probably doesn't want Hikaru to understand them too well either. (Opening Hikaru's collar to check whether he still has the hots for him was a creepy thing to do, if you ask me.) By refusing to tell Hikaru whether he liked the real deal, Yoshiki naturally, and conveniently, also prevents him from asking the REAL big question, which would, of course, be: "and how do you feel about me?"

The fact that Hikaru cannot have romantic feelings seems to come as a relief to Yoshiki, while Hikaru himself seems to be really sad about it. Yoshiki's rationalisation of their situation seems to be (not a translation, obviously): "You're a mysterious creature with mysterious feelings, my feelings are mysterious, too, so let's just accept that and move on. Please don't become human, I don't want to be seen through. (And besides, I hate people anyway.) (There was this dream sequence where Yoshiki remembers telling Hikaru that he likes animals because they don't follow human rules and that he even likes animals that kill people, which explains a lot.)

So what was the purpose of this instalment? Once again, we got to understand the protagonists' characters and motivations a little better, but I feel that it was also intended to de-romanticise their relationship a bit further, and this may be a good idea in various respects (marketability, focusing on the mystery element), but it is kind of inconsistent with the original notion that Hikaru inherited at least the larger part of his feelings for Yoshiki from the original, so I don't know.

These are just a few thoughts I wanted to share, knowing full well that I may be wrong in many points, but I am curious to know what your take on this chapter is.

The images are (C) Kadokawa, of course.

[iamfuckingsorry]

Sorry guys, another DE rant incoming. This one's not even on any specific topic, just some feelings about the game that I need to get out.

So, the game absolutely fucking killed me. I intentionally didn't play the entire thing at once to give myself time to process and it still fucking killed me. And by killed I mean I had to take crying breaks at work hiding in the bathroom. Like literally unable to go through a day at work without coming this close to a breakdown. And there's other compounding factors for that, sure, but still.

And it's like... It's a chilling social commentary with too many layers for its own good. The main character is a walking bundle of current and past issues mixed with the consequences of extremely messed-up past actions. The main support character has the best of intentions but is heavily flawed himself. Everyone else in the story is fucked up, really every single fucking thing is fucked up, yet the game itself keeps giving you these little snippets of hope. All the side quests where you can make a difference to someone. Deep conversations. Kim smiling. Realizing the people you originally thought were massive assholes were just hurting. The goddamn stick insect.

You are a violent and irrepressible miracle.

Something beautiful is going to happen.

In the dark times, should the stars also go out?

Streets and sodium lights, the sky, the world. You're still alive.

You still have some years. You still have some hope.

The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting.

Kim being so hopelessly in love with Revachol even though he's been treated like shit by the city's inhabitants.

Harry being so hopelessly in love with Revachol, too, even though he can't even remember her.

The world is shit, but there's still all these little things that make it worth living.

And I'd... really love for that to be my take away. I would really, really fucking love that. But somehow, I can't.

Because no matter how much good you do preventing an absolute bloodbath in Martinaise, changes are coming, and they aren't good changes. The wheels are already in motion and they cannot be stopped, no matter how vigilant Harry is, no matter how much Revachol loves him.

22 years after Harry wakes up, Revachol's getting nuked to pieces.

Some 5 years after that, the entire world as we know it is getting swallowed by the pale.

Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.

(Honestly, this is the line that kills me the most. He deserves to grow old, to look at his life and be happy with what he's done with it, at peace and fully accepted by everyone including himself for the first time in his life. And instead he's getting killed in a pointless conflict that will usher in the end of the world, or if he won't get killed then, he's getting nuked to death. Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.)

Anyway. I know that that's part of the point. Horrible things are inevitable but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living and good things aren't worth fighting for. You can still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you should still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you need to fight the inevitable darkness while you're still here because if you don't, then what are you living for? And if not you, then who? If you lose your last sliver of hope, then you lose everything. Yes, life is terrible and terrifying, but life is also so, so, so beautiful.

And even when life is shit, it's all just part of a cycle. Sometimes bad things need to happen in order for the good ones to be able to come back again. One day I'll return to your side. After death, life again. After the pale, the world again. The good connected to the bad, intertwined so tightly they cannot be separated in any meaningful way.

And I think I'm starting to get there, I really do. After the pale, the world again. Even in the darkest of times there is always hope of a brighter future. After the pale, the world again. After death, life again. Un jour je serai de retour près de toi. The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting. The stars will never go out, not even in the darkest of times.

But instead I just... I close my eyes and I think of Revachol herself begging Harry to save her, and I think of her burning, and I think of Kim not living to see 70.

And I want to cry.

[spaceorphan18]

I agree with you about Finchel; they make more sense as a high school romance, that was really the time when they could have helped (and did help) each other to grow. After high school though, they don't really work as a couple. What they want from life, how they want to live their lives, isn't compatible. That might be controversial to say but in my opinion even RM's reported original plan for how the series was going to end supports that; they would be really back together (and last) only after Rachel had achieved most of her career-related dreams and Finn had gotten over his insecurities. I understand why lots of people like the "opposites attract" type of relationship, but most of the time that doesn't work too well long-term. But all of that said, I don't dislike them. I like early Finchel, and I don't mind them in season 2-3. I just think their relationship was more suited to be a high school romance, like you said, and I like them better as "exes who are always going to be thankful for the relationship they had because it was beautiful and meaningful while it lasted but they understand why they had to go their own ways".

And I think you have written a very quick interaction between Jesse and Blaine in the The Sims fic.... Or maybe it was in another story, I don't remember it now. I would check but AO3 is currently down! But that's why I had mentioned it.

Nonny. First of all. I went back and read The Addiction - and it still cracks me up. And it makes me want to play the Sims again.... It doesn't really have Jesse/Blaine interaction, though. I'll have to make sure a future fic has some of that fun dynamic!

Anyway... I really agree with what you've said about Finchel!

Yeah, I actually have a lot of thoughts about Finchel! And, it's kind of complex, as it's not coming from a place of like or dislike, just evaluation.

I think Finn and Rachel were actually very sweet in Season 1 and really didn't mind them in Season 2. I think they both did get something positive out of the relationship. Rachel got validation that she was worth loving from someone outside her sphere, while Finn gained knowledge that he could be more than the labels that were bestowed onto him. They did help each other grow -- and grow up into the people they'd one day become.

That's the thing about relationships that I think sometimes is missed in media. And this goes to friendships and other kinds of relationships beyond romantic ones -- that people come into our lives and sometimes those people only stay for a short time, but their impact can effect us for the rest of our lives. And even if it is a short time, it doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful or worth going through.

By Season 3, I think it's apparent that Finn and Rachel's story kind of ran its course. (Even if the writers/RM did plan to bring them back together one day...) Rachel was always meant to go out and live in a big city and be on Broadway. And she needed to have someone who could not only keep up with her, but not feel threated by her level of success. Her star was going to always shine bright, and I just don't feel like Finn was ever fully going to feel comfortable living in the shadow of that.

Meanwhile, Finn's story is one that (like Will - whom he's modeled after) it's okay to come home and stay tome. I actually really liked the idea that Finn would have flourished in a small town, and realizing that it has worth and that he can do good things. Something Glee struggled with -- was the idea that you can be more than just a huge Broadway star. You can teach in a small town and have it be fulfilling and meaningful. Rachel would have never been happy on such a smaller stage. But it would have suited Finn wonderfully.

So - at the end of the day (Jesse aside) I just think their stories were going in two different directions. But the impact they had on each other was always meaningful. And I actually like that aspect of Finchel.

[moonjxsung]

I am CRYING

Its 1:52am and I am legit bawling my fucking eyes out.

My random tag scrolling has brought me to your When The Storm Looms fic which When I saw bartender lee know I just HAD to read part 1.

Idk what it is but the concept of lee know as a bartender lately has been rotting my brain and these fics just fueled my delusion even more.

Before I detail this is hands down my FAVOURITE fic ever! There's another bartender lee know fic that WAS my favourite but this was just wow. You write so perfectly.

These fics touched on subjects and topics that are so real and true for me it was so beautiful to read. It's very rare to find fics (especially kpop fics) that are so relatable to an individual reader AND their bias and you've done that for me.

As for my crying? I don't have the words to explain it. This story is so much more than the sex. Heck I couldn't even care for the sex at how well this was written. The theme of it being soul searching for part 2 aaaah I'm really not good at explaining thing my vocabulary sucks but it just unlocked something inside me. BEAUTIFUL.

I don't wanna ramble too much longer but thank you. Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece. Thank you for the intimacy shared between mc and Lee know. Thank you for writing him so beautifully as he is and as the man I imagine he would be. Thank you for writing a part 2 so perfectly and so deep in detail of soul searching.

Thank you for this absolute masterpiece.💖💖💖

WOW, there’s so much to unpack with this kind message 🥹 First off, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to leave such lovely words in my inbox! I’m so glad you resonated so heavily with the characters and that I was able to craft a story that carried meaning over into your own personal life as well. Fun fact, I originally wanted to make this story just a short drabble about bar sex with bartender Minho but somehow I felt so compelled to Minho as a bartender because I feel like he inhabits so many traits of a mysterious and complex bartender, but simultaneously a softie who just wants to find his purpose. This is the one fic I’ve written where I felt closest to the characters and I’m so glad to see readers feel it too! Minho isn’t even my bias but I must say I get hands down the most writing inspiration from him so I’m really glad I was able to do your bias justice and provide something meaningful to his name. I’m so glad to hear you loved it and I hope you know there will always be a special place for you in this fic whenever you return to it, bartender Minho will always welcome you home to the little dive bar with open arms (and Diet Coke 🫂) hope all’s well and again thank you for these very kind words, anon 🥹💞🫶💕♥️💖 take care of yourself (and new writing coming very soon!) grateful to have you here 👼🌙⭐️