#when the truth is we wouldn't have SPN at all without GO

[dreamytfw]

btw, I love how Destiel fans are constantly like "wow, Good Omens fans are so defensive about Ineffable Husbands all the time idk why we're just out here enjoying our ship uwu" every time there's a poll, and then when Destiel loses that poll the narrative is always "YOUR CHASTE CLOSED MOUTH KISS WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT THE EPIC LOVE STORY THAT IS DESTIEL! DESTIEL PAVED THE WAY FOR YOU SHIP! BE GRATEFUL FOR DESTIEL!"

Yeah, can't imagine why people who like AziraCrow would be defensive towards Destiel fans 🙄

[chiisana-sukima]

Oh when you used to sing it to sleep

@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis and @blue-chimera - thank you both for your kind and thoughtful replies to my reblog of this post. The og post is getting quite long and also I don't want to put too much writing effort into a reblog that's susceptible to disappearance, so I'm continuing here instead.

I agree with you both that Dean's parentification and Sam's continued acceptance of vs rebellion against it as an adult are an important part of their dynamic. Dean's dying words in the finale attest to this beautifully (as well as many other things throughout the course of the show); I love you so much, my baby brother. To a certain extent Sam is Dean's baby and always will be.

I think though to a large extent, the framing by both Sam and Dean of Dean as Sam's parentified elder sibling is a mutually employed, mostly cooperative sanitization of the central and most damaging aspect of the roles they internalized through their upbringing: Sam is a monster and Dean is the tool to "take care of" it (double reading of "take care of" 100% intentional on my part). Because of this, while readings of spn through the lens of Dean's parentification are definitely valid, I do think they sometimes risk distorting or leaving out important aspects of the characters' personalities, motivations, and relationship.

Jinkies, in my fruitless quest to process without reblogging a take I knew the OP wouldn't appreciate, I had listened to the interview before posting, and I think while Jensen is being flip, he's also getting at what he sees as a truth in the brothers' relationship. I think he's right from a Doylist/co-creator/actor's perspective--Sam is the protagonist who we see through Dean, the deuteragonist's, eyes. Dean, as a piece of the narrative artifact, Supernatural, is there to save Sammy in a way that Sam (up to that point anyway) is not a piece of the narrative artifact whose purpose is to save Dean. From a Watsonian/in-universe perspective though, I think he's mistaken, and that his mistake is the reason his take sounds uncharitable, even aside from the flippant part.

It's just not a very convincing analysis imo to frame a character who spends the first few seasons rejecting immoral power, the next few in an arc that ends with him willingly subjected himself to eternal torture for the good of the world, and the one after that intending to sacrifice himself dramatically to rid the world of one particular species of monster but doesn't because Dean asks him not to, as self-absorbed or not particularly concerned with his effect on others, including on his brother. Likewise, Dean holds up well as a parentified older sibling with no sense of internal self and abysmal self-esteem in some ways, but in others not so much. He does have interests and priorities and a sense of purpose outside Sam. They're all over spn every day, much more so in fact than Sam's are. They're just not enough to override his Sam prioritization.

The main place I think this analysis fails on Dean's side though is that he, as an adult, is just not a very good parent. Obviously as a child he couldn't be expected to be a good parent (or a parent at all) and as an adult he's already damaged and so it's understandable that if big brother-ing Sam is how he chooses to spend the rest of his life, he may still not be equipped to do it. But he fails on such a fundamental, obvious level at the the most basic aspects of parenting--providing safety, unconditional love, and preparing your child to go out into the world as an independent adult--in ways that once he's a grown up are absolutely within his power to at least attempt (for example: if he wants Sam to be safer, it would ultimately have failed because of Fate, but the logical thing to do first would be not hunt. Dean could've followed Sam to Palo Alto. He could've told him to go to Harvard Law if he can't tolerate Stanford after Jess dies. Could've refused to support him throwing his life away of a mission of revenge. Bought him his own car, encouraged him to have his own tastes. Told him convincingly that trusting Ruby was a bad decision but Lucifer is still not his fault).

None of that is meant to be insulting to Dean though, because I don't think that parenting Sam is Dean's real job--even from Dean's perspective--and I don't think his real job is palatable enough that it would be better for either of them if he admitted what it is head on. What his and Sam's real jobs both are imo is being a container for Sam. On Dean's side, this means holding Sam in his arms with love or if that's not enough, holding him in the panic room, which, from this perspective, is also an act of love. Substituting his judgement for Sam's is an act of love. Not encouraging Sam to hold his own interests first or to grow towards independence are acts of love. Given the nature of (what I believe to be) Dean's actual job, they are effective and competent acts of love undertaken under impossible circumstances, even if the results are sometimes pretty horrific. Because they're still better than the alternative.

Likewise on Sam's side, doing his job well means being a model monster--go to an Ivy, exercise, eat healthy, cultivate empathy, don't have desires of your own, hold yourself to an impossible standard, suppress your anger, kill other monsters when they get out of line. And in the moments he can't manage all that--because who can?-- submit to Dean. When he does those things, he's succeeding at his job, and while it would be nice if "let your brother hit you" or "jump in the Cage with Lucifer" wasn't his job, in the world of spn, it is. He is right to be contained by Dean and wrong to have opinions or priorities of his own unless Dean approves them first.

I do think this sometimes ends up looking like Sam has better self-regard, because Dean's job is to "take care of" Sam, and Sam's job is also to "take care of" Sam. But actually they both have absolutely abysmal shit self-esteem. "I should submit to eternal torture because it's my fault someone else is going to do terrible things he could choose not to do if he wanted" is not the thinking of a person with healthy self-regard. The reason neither of them could fill a thimble with their self-esteem or healthy boundaries imo is because neither "monster" nor "blunt instrument" is a person. Neither of these roles is better or more healthy than the other. Fundamentally, if you don't see yourself first and foremost as a human person, then your life is going to suck horribly. And neither of them see themselves that way.

[shallowrambles]

Ben and Lisa and Lisa's devastating pursuit of normal

Ben is on the nose. He's literally named "son," and he acts like adult!performing!Dean, rather than a nuaced 3D person at first. Like Ben doesn't act like a real child. In fact, Ben seems awkwardly, gleefully wrought, like a bad red herring. I mean, a kid loving AC/DC? Leather jacket? Not even Dean liked these things. He aped them from John. Kids from this time are into Spiderman. Ninja-Turtles. Ben is sketched obnoxiously, even by SPN writing standards.

Lisa's weird, impulsive clingy behavior is best explained by either thinking Dean's the father for real or needing him to be, in order to sell a lie to herself. There's some weird stuff about her. Lisa looks loaded, financially wise. There's family money or at least help on the downpayment. She rented a bounce house for a kids' party. That $100-200 even by today's standards. Yikes!

My girl was a young yoga instructor with an unexpected pregnancy...kinda hard to make things work without some help. We know her sister is in the picture, but is she estranged from her parents? The grandparents are nowhere to be seen. Something is off about her family life. There's no Ben-with-grandparents photos. Dean played golf, but not with his father-in-law? Weird. They look like a golf-with-granpa family. That looks like a golf-with-granpa house.

So, taking it further than that, Lisa looks like a gal who knows how to use BC and condoms, and she'd def use that with a rando stranger. Unless she couldn't afford BC, which means... hmm. So, how did she get pregnant? Coykd it have been potentially traumatic? Maybe she knows who the actusl father is. That's what the stammering blood test is about. She needs to convince herself that the real father...isn't. Because it's shameful. She'd rather it be Dean instead. Perhaps? It's an interesting thought.

On a strategical front, even Cas knew to use Claire against Jimmy. Michael would have absolutely jumped into Ben, rather than dig up Adam. Frankly, Dean and Cas erasing Ben's memories when he's a potential vessel would be strategical suicide, dooming Ben to live in a world as a vessel but without any warning/protection about avoiding angelic manipulation.

So that leaves options:

If you say yes, Ben is Dean's kid, you have to then consider that A, Michael is just stupid (unlikely), or B, he's kind and wouldn't use a kid (even more unlikely)

If you say Ben isn't, then either A, Lisa is tragically fixated on Dean (not unusual for cool!girl writing in SPN), B, Lisa is using Dean to cover her own trauma (thematically consistent), or Lisa and Ben were mind-whammied beforehand to fit a particular aesthetic for Dean (ick).

The second scenario looks more likely. I prefer option 2. And furthermore, if we're going to harp on AC/DC and leather jackets being "heritable," that's all Lisa. It's Ben who shares Lisa's tastes. She introduced him to leather jackets and AC/DC, because Lisa also apes what she looks for in a man. If a single weekend was her best after a near decade, and a year with a paranoid was that good for her, something's up with her life. She needs "normal" too much. Tldr; Lisa desperately wanted normal more than even Dean did because her life was already broken.

Maybe she needed a weekend where a man wanted her for her, not for money or whatever. Maybe it was the LACK of lindness in her life that made Dean sooooo special and the "best night of my life" shit is a smokescreen she uses to ward off this truth? Maybe it was she who desperately needed a normal apple pie family life w/o shame. Any man would do so long as they tried to make it work; so long as they were kind; anything to make Lisa appear normal.

That's a good argument as any why Lisa needed to play house so badly.

Being a cool!girl is an act. You put up with shit because you know it's the only way to get table scraps.

Lisa is the superior pretender, and Dean had no idea because he was young and perceived normal folks as "having all their shit together." Lisa's pretending is beaten only by Bela Talbot imho

P.S. Ben's not John's either for same angelic reasons as above. However, he might be Arthur Ketch's.

[eisforeidolon]

I made the mistake of reading some cockles blogs and now I wonder where do these people come up with their delusions. Jensen is not important unless Misha is involved somehow which continues to bother me. They keep assigning a lifestyle and sexuality to Jensen which he has not even acknowledged and they feel it is okay to spout their fantasies as truth. I have no serious issues with Misha but sometimes I wish he would vanish from the spn fandom and take those crazies with him.

At the end of the day, it's a self-perpetuating conspiracy theory. They start from taking something actually real - Jensen and Misha are work friends - and then scrutinizing it to an absurd degree and projecting what they want to see all over it. Might even be innocent enough at first, like jokingly asking, but what if ... Except for some it turns serious and anything they can interpret as validating their theory becomes actual proof of said theory. Aha! They smiled at each other, who smiles at a work friend like that!? With each new instance of what is bizarre, baseless projection and speculation to everyone else, they convince themselves they're amassing a mountain of proof. Aha! They held hands in a photo op like I asked them to! All my previous assumptions must be valid! Which only builds off itself that much more when you plunk them down in an echo chamber of fellow conspiracy theorists coming up with their own "proof" and telling each other how smart they are for seeing The Real Truth™.

Which is very much also what they did with the ship in the show, and why they were so flabbergasted it wasn't endgame. Except it's even more ridiculous to do with real life, because with the characters the audience sees at least the majority of their lives directly to reintepret, but with the actors? We see a tiny fraction of what they choose to show in public. Which is how you get cockless shippers claiming that the lack of time they spend together and how far away they live from each other is just further proof of how desperate they are to hide their totes real twue lurve! Of course, the worst of it is when you get the really hardcore conspiracy theorists who start trying to take it upon themselves to make the actors "come out", by shoving it in the actors' faces - in person or virtually - that "they know" what's really going on, so they need to just go public for their own good.

At that point, believing in the conspiracy isn't just an obsession, it starts to become part of their personality. EVERYTHING is a clue to how Misha and Jensen must secretly be together, so it's impossible to mention Jensen without making it about Misha. Less so the other way around, because Misha is the one who feeds them. They feel less pressure to MAKE him confess and prove he thinks about nothing but Jensen all day long, because he's already queerbaiting for profit "on their side".

The thing is, in a big enough fandom? There are always going to be at least a handful of people that get this fucking weird about shipping. So Misha not leading them on wouldn't have stopped it. Which is not the same thing as saying that Misha feeding into it didn't make it notably worse than it might have otherwise been.

[shatteredatthealtarofwinchester]

It really stings that Jensen literally had no one to back him up in the writer's room. He knew how harmful the ending they were pitched would be & he tried so hard to fight & he did fight so hard but when your co-lead of 15 years is against you with the writers, he could do literally nothing but take it or leave it. I feel like Dean was always more than a job to jensen but at some point sam became just a paycheck to his actor. & Sam got screwed over just as badly by the finale on so many levels too (I maintain he should've become the next gen of hunter's Bobby and Eileen should've become a lawyer and they should've run the bunker while raising kids).

But what really gets me is that during that same discussion with the writers, jensen still fought for Kaia, like we can imagine her & claire being together, being happy and it be canon compliant because of him. He couldn't save Dean then, but he was the reason Kaia was ultimately saved. (As far as we know, I sadly was not in the room where it happened but my god do I wish I was. Oh to have been a fly on the wall there or to have been there & invisible, able to get away with anything...) him & Robert Berens were the only people who went oh yes we have this indigenous female characters, made a pretty significant threat last season but we didn't address it again so let's address it this season (& bring back her original self who is also canonically wlw & allude to her & claire getting together). Because of him we can at least interpret that two canonically lgbtq characters got a happy ending in life and didn't get buried & forgotten like cas, charlie, max, charlie, apocalypse charlie, stevie, rowena (scene that confirmed she was bi got censored screw you see double ewe), Crowley, off the top of my head.

I really do feel for jensen. Like given past incidents, we should have known misha would be screwed over (it is sooo f-ed up is that misha getting screwed over by writers & the network is basically expected) but we never even imagined that they'd even try to screw jensen over as badly and as hard as they did screw him over. The show never deserved either of them & the show wouldn't have gotten as big as it did without them. No one could ever replicate what they brought.

At least Brianna who seems like good friends with jensen, responded with no comment when asked about her thoughts on the finale (which you wouldn't do if you had nothing but compliments on the ep), so he has at least one person in the cast on his side.

So much talking today, me likey! 🥰

Yes. I can fully support you in your thought that Jensen felt closer to Dean than Jared felt to Sam and this was totally clear. Jensen said so much stuff about how much he loves Dean, that Dean is his best friend, that he will always carry him with himself, that he will always be very protective about Dean and so on. Also the Spotlight just moved from Dean and Sam to Dean and Cas over the years, people pointed out that Jareds acting was average, later regressive... Maybe he really didn't cared anymore when it came to an end since Walker is his "passion project that has his entire heart."

You are also right that it just hurts fucking much to see that Jared didn't backed him up. Who else would be in the room? Dabb of course, since he wrote 15x20. Singer also. And Dabb openly said that he thinks he made very clear that he dislikes Jensen. Jensen had disagreements with Singer before also. To me it feels like it was SPN vs Walker, and while Jensen chose SPN, Jared chose Walker. Jared even said "You can't make everyone happy" while knowing that this ending will only please W*ncesties and B*bros, and exactly those ran from SPN to Walker.

You're right, actually it's kinda ridiculous that Jared called the ending magical and beautiful fullcircle storytelling while his own character got screwed as well. It shows that he didn't even understood the development of his own character.

Yeah, Bobo spoke openly about how Jensen fought for Kaia. He wanted the story to be continued, he wanted her back.

Yeah, the whole thing about Misha and how he was treated from the network... I'll try not to use abusive language here. Truth is, Misha saved and carried Supernatural. When he entered the stage, he won our hearts and the spotlight moved from Dean and Sam to Dean and Cas. When Cas was killed, ratings dropped. I did an analysis some days ago about the ratings of every single episode that include Misha vs episodes without Misha. Result: Misha made every single season better. He even was in every single seasons finale (except season 15, they didn't needed him anymore then and just threw him away.) Before they couldn't afford to kill him without bringing him back, they couldn't afford not having him in the main story. Weird for a side char, huh? Yeah, the fandom just loves him, you dumb assholes. And actually it made sense when Chuck said that Cas was the only one who grew outside of gods control. The network couldn't control him.

You are right, I never thought that the network would screw Jensen that bad. Never ever. But the show was over, what do they have to loose? They have a new series to promote now, and Jensen isn't in it, so... There you have the decision. Sad to see that they go with the average actor who didn't cared about his own character or the show he's been on for 15 years anymore. He didn't even cared about the fandom. All about money, huh?

[linipik]

Craig of the Creek is such a sweet show, so seeing the Supernatural boys as just kids playing games in that universe is really nice. I'm definitely up to learning more about that au if you've got the time!

YESssss THANK YOU!!!!!!!   ANd yeah, of course,  it got me a while but here it is:  I end up making soft aus as a reaction to pain, and spn is just pain packed on a 15 years show

[THIS POST GETS LONG but i didnt wanted to divide it]

anyway, thinking about the Winchester brothers being literal kids, and just playing on the creek.... Ages are something about 10-11 years for Dean and Sammy would be around 6-7.

they live with uncle Bobby because their father works away ( and I want john very far away from them).

Craig of the Creek functions on nostalgia and children’s magic (imagination, trust, etc) And they... probably don’t hunt bc wtf they are children. But they help people, get into troubles to help others with theirs. (Maybe with a side of supernatural entities or true mysteries?? there are already some ghosts on Craig …)

NOW, I'm betting on Dean still being some kind of 80s nostalgia freak would match perfectly, horror movies, cassettes, classic rock? all that packed on a very daredevil child. Of course Dean is the ultimate big brother and he is 1. in charge 2. won't let Sammy out of his sight.

...Even less when Sam is terribly well intentioned and will try to find the truth or just help anyone that asks. Sammy wants to be a lawyer and would debate fiercely and research and be a bit of a book nerd, he could be going into some advanced placement program very soon tbh.  And of course he tries to follow Dean’s steps, i mean, he wouldn't be sam without thinking his brother is the best human ever.

I think having a car as some kind of base is a bit of a  hazard...but also it’s very cool, and i imagine that when they can finally open the trunk they find lots of books, notebooks and vhs (i’m thinking of other kids from the creek)  (( edit// since i started writing this i  caught up with craig of the creek and this actually happen with a capture the flag game?!!! amazing)))

Next step is talking about demons: That’s too bitter, right? but from all the parts about demons  im gonna take are the deals. But they are...favours, you know? the demons crew help a kid with something ALWAYS in exchange of something else.  (you know, like the other side of the creek?, like that but less sweets, more...favours and promises. Manipulative even vengeful? yes a bit, but kids can be very ruthless. DO we want them to have the deals in some secret base? yeah that sounds cool!... and you can see how they bring lot’s of problems to everyone since every kid has needed help at some point!!)

NOW, Angels: imo, angels and the whole heaven should be something very apart from the creek but...; adjacent so i thought about something like a very strict private school, maybe with a side of boarding school (also catholic imo) and it has a) a big space that limits with the creek b) students are not supposed to go out. Almost all spn angels are there in some way (like one of those primary school+ middle school + highchool on the same place kind of places) 

Enters Cas being an absolute rebel going out when he is not supposed to, and , you know, so his uniform won’t get all dirty he uses this big old trenchcoat!, because they get grounded when anything is outside of the rules like a dirty uniform from exploring the creek. Cas might sneak out sometimes and help the Winchesters (and more than once gets grounded on their behalf) he still doesn't get most of the pop culture references, bit of a history nerd and triathlon champion, not that he likes it or even talks about it, but it’s just something he does because of school. At the end, he still rather be on the creek with Dean and Sam most of the time, same old spn.

I’m making Chuck also existing, and he got a big family, you know? he got teenage sons (luci, gabe, raph and Michael) then he remarried and got stepchildren and all! but at the end he is a famous writer and  can’t be home that often. Also auntie Amara is her best girlboss, no children of her own, but sometimes visits and brings her own brand of havoc. 

- I imagine plots like: Cas getting Dean out of some kind of deal while  Demon crew (who all shall have sunglasses) tries to get Sam to join them That time they opened the trunk of their amazing car/base to find all sort of files on demon deals or why cas’s school is so against the creek Or my most ambitious one: making a summer camp out of purgatory where cas and dean are sent to after getting into big trouble The moment they finally get that Crowley, that have been helping them, is actually King of the deals! ...and like 15 years of adjusting amazing SPN plotpoints into Craig of the Creek mind space. Equally important, just less death and monsters. it is truly limitless!!! I can imagine the whole spn universe translated in the creek with the very creek problems and it melts my heart.

My third eye is wide open to have all spn characters into creek style characters, like Ellen and Jo going to visit Bobby (and the boys) one day, or finding anna or gabriel in the creek when they Should Not Be there! kevin and zeke and alfie and...just everyone even Rowena just mistaking the winchesters for his son’s friends !! there are so many options!! 

It is some version of soft SPN where something like Amara trying to convince Dean to let Sam be his own person is valid, where Naomi is more a counsellor that sees in Cas big potential if he could just stops getting into trouble.. until she understands how important are his new friends to Cas. Or where Sammy gets to accept he can have both: the adventures and time in the creek with his brother and be his academic book-smart self

Kids being kids

---

anyway, I love basically translating one show into another universe’s rules, makes me appreciate both even more and i needed something soft like this. Also it took me months to answer because I wanted to add the sketches but work got in the way.

[gil-estel]

~✨gil-estel’s long-promised spn rec list✨~

the general criteria:

(all fic will fit at least one, many will fit most)

✓ long (10k+)

✓ published after 2017

✓ canon-verse

✓ plotty and/or casefic

✓ nuanced exploration of dean winchester’s bisexuality

the fics:

Bender by vipjuly (destiel, 13k, rated E)

In order to protect a sorority from a vampire, Dean allows Rowena to transform him into a girl so he can go undercover.

He's still Dean. Just in a female body.

This is surprisingly easy.

Build a Home by domesticadventures (destiel, 20k, rated T)

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn’t.

Everything Comes Back to You by VioletHaze (destiel, 33k, rated E)

Dean knew better. Of course he did. But Cas seemed so charmed by the antique-filled bed and breakfast that Dean went along with it when the proprietor mistook them for a couple. Telling himself it gave them a strategic advantage to be so close to the crime scene, he agreed to the weekend special she offered them. When the case ended up being a bust, they stuck around anyhow because hey, the second night was free…

it never gets dark by vaudelin (destiel, 30k, rated E)

Normally Dean wouldn't get out of bed for a run-of-the-mill kidnapping, even without the hangover, but when Sam can't even write out the missing kid's name, he has to admit something's up.

Helping Sam, Patience, and Claire figure out who (or what) erased all traces of the kid is as good a distraction as any to get over Cas bailing from an abortive love confession. But when finding answers comes at a terrible physical price, the team is left with no choice but to call in any help they can get.

Like it or not, Dean and Cas have some uncomfortable truths to confront, and when worst comes to worst they'll discover what truly matters in the end.

Kelp! I Need Somebody by andimeanittosting (destiel, 27k, rated E)

It’s been a week since Michael was defeated and Dean freed, but Castiel can’t seem to get back on the horse. Dean, on the other hand appears to have bounced back completely, with one small exception: he no longer dares touch the now-human Cas at all.

When they receive a call from Jesse and Cesar to come investigate a series of mysterious drownings near their New Mexico ranch, Dean jumps on the job, much to Cas and Sam’s dismay. But more challenging than the kelpie they encounter, Jesse and Cesar’s relationship holds up a mirror, showing Dean and Cas the future they wish they could have. When Rowena and Charlie get involved, a shake-up is inevitable.

let me lay here so slow (i need never get old) by vaudelin (gen & bg destiel, 10k, rated G)

The day of Dean's fortieth birthday, told from Lebanon's point of view.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers (destiel, 31k, rated E)

dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas.

One Cold Night by xylodemon (destiel, 16k, rated E)

"Dean, are you all right?"

"Yeah. I'm just —" Dean shivers again. His teeth clack together. "Jesus Christ, it's cold."

So Goes the Song by aeli_kindara (dean/lee webb, 21k, rated E)

The first time Lee meets Dean Winchester, it’s courtesy of a chokehold.

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (destiel, 46k, rated M)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

Suck It, Judy Garland by midrashic (destiel, 20k, rated M)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

Superheroes by aeli_kindara (dean/omc, 4k, rated T)

"I fuckin' hate group projects."

Dylan gives Dean a wary glance. He gets it — he’s not the biggest fan of these things himself. But when you’re a group of two, “I fuckin’ hate group projects” is awful close to “I fuckin’ hate working with you.”

In which a teenage Dean Winchester makes a friend and leaves something behind, and Sammy doesn't know when to shut up.

Talkin’ Bear Mountain Picnic by MittenWraith (destiel, 41k, rated E)

Strange things were happening in a small town in Northern Maine that had gained a reputation as the most honest town in the world in only a matter of weeks. Residents were going out of their way to confess their sins-- everything from jaywalking to murder, infidelity to true love. Sam, Dean and Cas all have their own reasons for wanting to stay far away from an honesty curse, but with Jack and his natural bluntness serving as their last line of defense, they decide to investigate. The last thing they need is another Veritas situation on their hands. The honest little town might be enjoying their newfound liberty to speak their minds, but the cause of this particular curse might prove to be Dean and Cas’s undoing.

The Thirty Six Questions That Lead to Love by aeli_kindara (destiel, 13k, rated M)

“So I need you to be my gay dads,” says Claire.

Though The Course May Change by imogenbynight (destiel, 51k, rated E)

After a couple who went missing several years ago from an Oregon couples retreat are mysteriously returned on the same night that another disappears, Dean and Charlie plan to go undercover to find the cause--until Dean's foot meets his mouth, and he finds himself fake-engaged to Castiel instead.

The Tunnel of Love by xylodemon (destiel, 21k, rated E)

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."  

Dean just stares at him.

You Start to Grow Wings by FagurFiskur (dean/omc & destiel, 11k, rated T)

Dean feels his face warm up, suddenly all too aware that he’s sitting right next to his very male friend. He can’t make himself look over, too nervous that he’ll catch Eli’s eye and make this whole experience even more excruciatingly awkward. He wants to leave, but he also doesn’t wanna call attention to how uncomfortable he is.

He’s known gay people exist of course, but he’s never seen them outside of Very Special Episodes on sitcoms. Never seen something so explicitly, in-your-face gay.

At seventeen, Dean falls for another man for the first time. Twenty years later they happen to meet again and things are somehow much more complicated.

[sinnabonka]

Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done? 

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on. 

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course). 

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth: 

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear. 

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection. 

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up. 

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably. 

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3 

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family. 

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing. 

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins.