#where are shatterstar and rictor

[batcavescolony]

So I'm rereading Childrens Crusade, where everyone is finding Wanda. And this part gets me every time. They find Wanda and she gets her memories back blah blah to make things right she wants to give mutants back their powers so they test it on this guy called Rictor

As you can't tell by his name, his powers are earth based like controlling seismic energy right? Rictor like Rictor scale the thing we use to measure earthquakes. Ok? So Wanda tries it

And everyone is surprised when the earth starts shaking! You got how many people in that room and none went "hey maybe we should try this somewhere else so if it works, the guy who's powers it is to make earthquakes doesn't topple the building".

They couldn't teleport to a field, or an open space? They were like "yep let's do this in a building".

[kalinara]

So recent posts have got me thinking about the Throuple, and how I personally feel about it. And I'll be honest. I dislike it and I love it.

I dislike it because, ultimately, there really isn't much there. A couple of suggestive panels, a house schematic, one scene of expressed attraction between the guys, one scene that seems really heavily implied that they'd intended to go to bed together (I'll post that later, it's from early X-Force and it's pretty suggestive, IMO), and a few cameos in pride issues.

If Marvel was advertising this relationship, I'd call it queer-baiting at best.

But I always kind of wonder about the background of things. And I tend to assume that the Throuple was never intended to be a thing by the suits and higher ups. I think maybe a few creative types kept slipping things under the radar.

It does mean, unfortunately, that, in terms of actual story or emotional development, it's lacking. I mean, look, biased Scott fan that I am, I would have REALLY liked to see Logan apologize for basically everything AvX onward before those two characters hopped into bed together. I'd like to see Jean get to have opinions about everything that happened while she was gone (many things that she'd now remember from her younger self's point of view), before that happened too. These are characters with a lot of history.

So in terms of execution, the Throuple is a fizzle. (Hell, even the Jean/Logan side barely got off the ground. Some bits where she kept him alive when he was trying to save Xavier through time - which she'd have done even if he were just a friend. And one sex scene in the hot springs. That really feels like a satisfying culmination of decades of yearning. If I were a Jean/Logan fan, honestly, I'd probably feel cheated.)

But you know, I do love it for other reasons. Because however shitty the execution, the IDEA is firmly planted and that idea isn't going away.

All you have to do is go on reddit or tiktok and see anytime one of those toxic masculinity fanboys starts bitching about how Logan is 100% straight "blah blah woke agenda", and you get at least three people jabbing back "yeah, except on the moon".

And that's the genius of it. Because NO one likes those particular fans. And so even people who are utterly indifferent to the idea of the Throuple. Even folks who dislike the execution are very pleased to troll that hypothetical dude at every chance.

Marvel can say what they want. Brevoort (whether he believes it or is just Marvel's spokesperson) can say what he wants. The fact that the annoying fanboys go "I'm so glad he didn't walk back his denial and cater to the wake agenda" are just admitting that there's something TO deny.

I'll be honest, I suspect the issue is Logan's fanbase. It's the largest by far and Marvel doesn't want to alienate the straight men in the crowd. But the thing is, they're aging out. And younger generations of fans are more openly queer than we are, and definitely more than our parents were. This is going to be a non-issue. Especially when the new generations start running the asylum.

It'll take a long time, of course, and there'll be a lot of bullshit before then. But you can't put the genie back in the bottle. The idea is out there. And like Kitty, Rachel, Betsy, Bobby, Mystique and Destiny, Rictor and Shatterstar, EVENTUALLY we'll get to the point where Marvel admits what we all know. (And we knew for a while. The Throuple didn't come out of nowhere.)

Marvel's most famous and popular X-Men character is queer.

More than half of the Original X-Men, that earliest dream that creators never seem to be able to stop revisiting, are queer*.

The flag ship pairing of the X-Men involves a woman and a man who are queer*.

That's pretty awesome.

(*I know technically we're talking about an MMF throuple and it doesn't rule out Jean being straight, but let's be honest here. Jean's got more than enough suggestive interaction with Storm, Emma, Lorna and Wanda to make a strong enough case for bisexuality in her own right.)

[mexicanricstar]

@ricstarweek2024

day 5: AU | Theme: Movies

"Strangers like me" is a song that makes me think in Shatterstar so I got inspired by the scene where Tarzan and Jane meet and I thought what if in an alternate universe, the New Mutants, with Cable as their mentor (the pre-Xforce era), go to Mojoworld for a mission and that's how Rictor and Shatterstar meet.

Commission by @xRobinPBx on Twitter.

Rictor is rocking this New Mutants look that in my opinion was gone too soon.

[yuriverses]

i was thinking abt how rictor's probably got more of a lopsided smile nowadays bc of his burns.

shatterstar probably said something to make him laugh :)

i loveeee drawing him w his current look bc that brief moment where he looked like a 2000s emo is sooooo fun to take and run with. i have just realised i forgot to give him stubble though :( must be just after shaving

i went to this post for some reference when drawing rictor's burn scar, it's very useful so i wanted to link it for if it's something anyone else is interested in

[daisyachain]

I think this belief of mine comes from the fine comic tradition of Seeing Who Is Standing Next to Each Other in the Background. If you get 20 pages per month and there are 10 main characters in the team book and 10 secondary characters, you spend most of your time reading meaning into incidental shots of tiny sketchy figures shaded in pale blue.

I think I prefer that works pace themselves to imply background activity. Even when there are multiple simultaneous storylines, I like to have the feeling that something important is going down off-screen. With enough subplots going on, rather than increasing the tension you end up with Four Lines, All Waiting—it takes so long to rotate back around that the tension in each subplot is dead by the time you get back to it. I say: keep the ball rolling. When we get back to each subplot, don’t pick up where you left off. Don’t even pick up at the next development. Have some kind of minor event happen while you’re spending time on the other subplots so that the audience feels like they’re running out of time.

Sure, significant action off-screen can lead to a case of telling-not-showing, but I don’t care. I’m bored. Speed it up.

[mattholicguilt]

Tim Seeley randomly deciding shatterstar and gringrave "had sex" but in order to make it not a retcon I can only assume that they were doing it like the girl on bridgerton.

shatterstar: until tonight I had never felt such stirrings

rictor: wait but you've had sex

shatterstar: yes

rictor: okay so when you... insert yourself--

shatterstar: inSERT myself??? insert myself WHERE?

rictor: what on earth were you and gringrave doing

shatterstar: well we kiss. then she would make an odd sound and go to change her mojoworld™️ licensed battle garment

[scarletfasinera]

Every time I see those posts that are like "how do you get queerbaited by MARVEL? You expected GAY people to EXIST and KISS in MARVEL????" I forget that I live in a fantasy world where the MCU doesn't exist & I'm like "Northstar is there though... Mystique and Destiny are THE lesbian moms of all time... Shatterstar and Rictor literally kiss ON-PANEL... [looks at my index card notes] ...Iceman, too, is a character, I guess." like Believe it or not, there are textually queer characters in Marvel—but then it's just a criticism of the FILMS again, which do not exist to me. I've never seen one. Everyone STOP watching movies

[xprojectrpg]

Moment of Awesome - Julio Richter/Rictor: Captured by the Slendermen, Shatterstar tries to rescue Rictor.

He did not have a rosary with him, but let that be one more transgression to ask for God's forgiveness. Huddled behind a massive oak tree, Rictor held his hands together, rubbing one thumb against the other as if he were passing the beads between his fingers. "Creo en Dios, Padre todopoderos . . ." he whispered to himself. Please, Lord, absolve this young man of his cowardice that condemned the people he loved most to gruesome deaths at the hands of monsters while he panicked and ran. Please do not condemn him to the same fate.

Shatterstar recognised the kneeling form of his dearest friend and broke off from Madin and Liam. He could trust Madin to protect Liam and themself. But who was protecting Rictor? It didn't matter he didn't have much to protect him with against these monsters. He would not leave him behind.

He knelt next to Rictor to try to haul him up, get him out of that huddled position and get him moving. "Rictor, Rictor we have to move."

Rictor looked up and started at the ghost before him, but that expression melted into a relieved smile. "You are taking me to Xibalba? I don't want to go, but if that's where you are now, maybe . . . maybe it will be okay. I'm so sorry, Star."

Shatterstar grabbed Rictor by the forearms and hauled him up. Did... Did Rictor think him dead? Maybe Rictor could be able to feel his powers and feel him alive. "Feel the Earth. We have to go, now. Liam and Madin are waiting and we have to find everyone else."

"They're dead, too?" So this was not actually Shatterstar, was it? Just a psychopomp taking his form, to make it easier for Rictor to pass on. What had he done to earn this kindness, though? Or was it a trick to make his arrival in Hell all the more traumatic? Start his well-deserved eternal torture with a bang. Rictor sighed. If this was his fate, he could at least be a man about it, for once in his life (afterlife?). "Fine. I'm ready..."

Shatterstar scowled. "We aren't dead yet." He moved grabbed Rictor's hand and placed it over his heart, hoping the other would feel his heart beat. "We are still living and I would like to stay that way."

Always sensitive to even the most minute vibrations, the beat of Shatterstar's heart reverberated in Rictor's own. That was not the heartbeat of a dead man. "Star?" Before Rictor knew what he was doing, he wrapped his arms tightly around his friend, pressing his head against Shatterstar's chest to once again feel life pumping through him. "I'm sorry. I saw you and I . . . I didn't help you. I ran away. I'm so sorry."

Shatterstar hugged Rictor back, holding him back and feeling his heart. "That was not me. It was not the real me. Come with the real me and we will escape."

"I believe you." Rictor slowly let go and nodded, then followed Shatterstar back to the others.

[librarybunny13]

Who's your comfort characters?

I'll go ahead and start:

All the kids in the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon 1983 (my age 8). All those kids wanted was to get home. It came out around the time of the Satanic Panic. So it only got 3 seasons. The script of what should have happened in the last few episodes is online. Do I prefer the Dungeons and Dragons movies that have been made? Okay the last one was ok, and they gave a nod to the kids in the movie. But I want a cartoon reboot.....today.

Lance from (Voltron) 1986 (and yes, I did not care for the remake of voltron. The original Lance was hotheaded but kind. He had a brain and he knew how to use it before getting his Lion. He was also the edgiest guy on tv at the time. And it was made to look more like Keith got with the Princess, not Lance.

Shatterstar (X-Force) 1991 Deadpool 2 did him so dirty that I now hate Ryan Reynolds with a passion. "I don't think anyone is going to miss Shatterstar, he was kinda a prick". Excuse me? Shatterstar was in comics and on a team before you were even thought of. Plus Deadpools is not impressive in his first runs in comics. I adored Shatterstar. He was an alien in a strange land and had to learn to be more human like. He spent his whole life having to battle in an arena where it was kill or be killed. Oh, he was later on confirmed to be gay. You know what happened next? Left the group to go help his soon to be boyfriend Rictor out. Marvel brought him back after years of him being in comic limbo. Because *now* they like LGBT characters.

Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho) 1992 - If you knew about Yu Yu Hakusho, you knew most people thought Hiei was always the second best at the very least. Newtype voted him the fifth-best male character of the 1990s as a whole. He starts out as a villain than becomes a hero.

Feitan (Hunter x Hunter) (1999) - Feitan is made by the same guy who made Hiei. You can tell he's loosely based on Hiei as well. But Feitan is kinda "what if Hiei was evil, really evil". He barely talks. He also uses bad grammer from time to time. He also speaks an unknown language. And boy can he fight. Err, he also enjoys torture, but feels "sorry for his victims". Yeah, I know, weird comfort character. But I adore him.

Wei Yan (Dynasty warriors 3 and through the rest, even the game sequels I don’t like.) 2001. Wei Yan also speaks oddly. Some would consider him a simpleton. But I no he isn't. He was the one that came out with the plan that stopped Wei. He's based on a historical figure. In a book written 100 years after his time.

Shigraki Tomura (My Hero Academia) (2014) - He is saved, but was a wonderful villain, until he let that stupid doctor get a hold of him.

So what do they all have in common? Every single one is loyal to people they consider family. They all are men of few words. (The kids from D&D don't count.) You don't need them to talk too much though. They're men that show what they're thinking via action, not words. What else? All are physically strong, Except Lance. All are nearly unstoppable once hey put their mind to it. All are physically strong (except Shiggy at the beginning). That's all I can think of. I also noticed that they kinda all start hating the world, except Hiei and Lance. With Shigraki wanting to just destroy it all. I wonder if that shows how little regard I have for society, Hmmm. Oh wait! And Loki in the Marvel movies. That's it.

[swordofazrael1992]

picture of rictor and shatterstar with the caption “they matched each other’s freak” but unfortunately we live in a world where when people think of rictor they think of p*ter d*vid’s xfi

[asterrisms]

the first rictor appearence i personally read was shatterstar cooking w the apron on and ass out going to gay brunch qhen i was like 14 or smth because they had it at my library where my mom dropped me off all the time by myself ? and i would just read their comic collection 247. which is not really a good introduction probably.

[askaniritual]

question! do you have any suggestions abt where to start reading for Shatterstar?

this is essentially the preeiminent question in the field of Caring about Shatterstar scholarship because there are things that are offputting to new readers in essentially every comic he's ever been in. but he is THE worlds specialist little guy and i do think he's worth the effort so here's the deal, presented in chronological order:

X-Force (1991)

This is the comic where he is introduced, so if you are committed to The Full Shatterstar Experience you can read New Mutants (1983) #99-100 and then start X-Force (1991) #1 and just read that comic through issue 70. He's a main character for that entire stretch. If the art starts making you despondent, just know it gets really really good starting issue #44.

If you are taking this approach you also need to read Cable 1993 #22 between issues 45 and 46 of X-Force. This is possibly the best he has ever looked and is an absolutely banger issue.

Additional mandatory reading for this era is X-Force Annual 1999. I am linking this so you know how important it is. I own TWO physical copies of this comic book.

@pickleslice and @shatterstar will say that after this you have to read the first 4 pages of X-Force: Shatterstar (2004) #1. Do with that information what you will. The rest of the comic is bad though everybody agrees on this.

X-Factor Investigations aka X-Factor (2006)

Shatterstar shows up here in issue #43 through the end of the comic. This is where his relationship with Rictor becomes canon (although it was very clearly hinted at in X-Force 1991). The important thing to note about this is that the author, Peter David, slam dunks all of Shatterstar's previous characterization in the garbage in service of making him a shitty Jack Harkness ripoff. It's painfully biphobic!

Most Shatterstar enjoyers do not feel that this comic is the best representation of him as a character, but unfortunately it now makes up the majority of his publication history in recent memory.

In here you also need to read Avengers: The Children's Crusade #6. Idk where and tbh it doesn't really matter.

Shatterstar (2018)

This is a 4 issue mini and is very divisive in the fandom. People don't like the landlord thing and if you are foolish enough to go into my Shatterstar tag from 2018 you will see me complaining vociferously about nearly every part of the comic. That being said!!! It was personally my introduction to the character.

I read this first and then I skim read the entirety of X-Factor (2006) and only read panels I saw Shatterstar in and I did this for like 100 issues in ~24 hours. I don't recommend this approach I'm just being real with you.

X-Factor 2020 / Exacalibur 2020

He's in both of these! I would not recommend reading them without reading any of the other stuff first but these are the most recent comics he's been in.

Anyway this is far from any kind of comprehensive reading list, he's been in more stuff! But I would say reading X-Force 1991, X-Factor 2006, and the mini will get you basically caught up to speed on what there is to know about the character. If you have any more questions about my special little guy please lmk I love talking about him

[daisyachain]

Rictor and Shatterstar’s status quo has come out of such a long game of telephone that it’s interesting to try and consider what different readings could make of them.

Focusing on Rictor: the word-of-god on his sexuality has been PAD, who cares so little about characters outside of the og X-Factor and forces his own pet plots so unilaterally into continuity that you can basically ignore anything he says. As everyone and their dog ignored his Shatterstar and Rahne characterizations.

That leaves him in an interesting area where he’s been word-of-god-ed as ‘idk probably homosexual’ by a man who notably is a piece of shit and doesn’t care about previous writers’ work. There is space for later comic writers to try and rationalize his work on Rictor the way that, I regret to say, Howard and Williams did successfully rehabilitate Shatterstar. Now IMO the XFI Rictor is a good, interesting characterization and that’s mostly by accident of PAD’s snarky male archetype (‘snarketype’) mapping on to some parts of Rictor that had already been established. That doesn’t mean we should take that book as law, though.

From the start: Rictor is defined by anxiety/negativity/self-hatred/clear trauma/undefined mental illness and an instinct for leadership. Simonson writes him as a big brother type, acting as a leader for the new half of the New Mutants while Sam and Dani lead the ogs. He’s not without his deadpan humour, but he’s not particularly snarky the way that Boom-Boom is. His biggest role in New Mutants is in the Rahne-Rictor-Tabs love triangle, where Tabitha comes to like him as a sensible, sensitive non-threatening guy and Rahne looks to him as a comforting protector-type. Rictor ends up with Rahne in an off-panel twist.

That is to say: Rictor’s most important relationships are with girls throughout his first phase. In fact, he doesn’t have any unique dynamic with a guy…at all…until Liefeld decides that Stryfe killed his father. Then nothing after that. He’s an emotional character who reads as a big-brother type and meshes well with the two female characters from rough families who want some stability in their lives. The actual romance between him and Rahne is hampered by the time crunch, but it seems like he’s drawn to her as someone he can protect. For the same reason, he doesn’t pick up on Tabs’ affections because he thinks of her as independent—even his protector. In other words, we have Rictor dating a naive redhead with an extremist worldview who imprints on him, for whom he chooses to leave the team at some point.

Liefield and/then Nicieza’s Rictor takes a bit of a turn from Simonson’s into more macho territory. His emotionality and tendency to bail manifests as anger rather than fear, getting prickly about small-scale things while staying a sensible team-oriented type. In a few critical panels, he’s a tertiary leader when Sam/Terry/the adults aren’t around and he’s usually one to jeep the team together. This Rictor is still fond of Rahne, though they’ve broken up, and he’s pursuing Tabitha now that she no longer has feelings for him. This comes out of nowhere and is as literally forced as it is awkward—one rejection from Boomer and they never speak of it again. Why does Rictor turn to her now, other than that Rahne’s gone? Unclear. Nicieza also writes Rictor as a bit of a ladies’ man, flirting with one of the New Warriors (Namora…?) and dancing with the club girls. That’s a trait that jars with Simonson’s nervous teen, but it’s not inconceivable. Rictor’s only relationships are ambiguously romantic friendships with two girls, why wouldn’t he be comfortable chatting them up with no strings attached?

The game of Telephone starts here. Niecieza realizes that he’s not doing anything ongoing with Rictor or Shatterstar, so he quickly pairs them up for an issue or two to finish Rictor’s arc about Stryfe/Cable and then start an arc for Shatterstar. Sticking to Simonson’s characterization, he has Rictor act as an older brother figure while adding Nicieza-style snark Nicieza happens to play with the idea of Shatterstar’s alien appearance on a city street right before his book gets handed over to Loeb. So History is made.

At this point, Rictor and Rahne have a fond relationship that drifted apart, Rictor and Tabs have an awkward intense friendship that got wrecked by Rictor’s inexplicable advances in an apparent desperate play to thwart Sam, Rictor has started to mentor Shatterstar just like he did with Rahne. Rictor’s as volatile as always, but he flips to anger over anxiety.

Then Loeb picks up the book. He reads Nicieza’s last issue and thinks it’s kinda gay, and he’s also got a new agenda that doesn’t mesh with Nicieza’s slice-of-life book. He quickly writes Rictor out with some heavy closet-coding and writes a gay arc for Shatterstar, bringing Rictor back in the position of a love interest. I truly don’t think Loeb thought about Rictor for more than five minutes. Rictor’s sexuality is viewed entirely through the lens of Shatterstar’s crush; it’s not really relevant whether he returns Shatterstar’s feelings, it’s only relevant that Shatterstar loses him and gets him back as the bookends to his arc. Rictor inhabits the same reliable-but-independent space in Loeb’s writing as Nicieza’s, less emotionally torn than in Simonson’s.

Aside: Age of Apocalypse happens somewhere here and Rictor is an evil Grand Vizier with no apparent personality traits. Oh well!

Moore then comes onboard at another critical transitional time and writes the two least-developed characters out of the book. Oops, that’s Rictor and Shatterstar! They’re written out together and so the characters canonically leave together—thus tying their fates to one another. Rictor now is at the point where he’s left the team, all his friends and connections, on his own hero’s quest and he brings along one devoted companion. I’m sure that Moore and Loeb don’t remember Rahne and barely remember he was involved with Tabitha. Rictor and Shatterstar are bound together by fate as the two minor characters. When they go on their big Mexican vacation, it’s easy to read Rictor as a young straight guy with a good heart and sympathy for the outcast. It’s also not hard to read him as a kid who dated one naive teammate who looked up to him and is now close to another, a bisexual teenager who had an inkling at the start of Loeb’s run and has finally accepted it.

Then, the two guys remain off-panel except for that one Shatterstar VS Domino fight (Moore) in which Rictor plays damsel to Shatterstar—again, Shatterstar’s feelings are in focus while Rictor’s are ambiguous.

The nail in the coffin comes with the one the only 1999 Annual, where Nicieza comes back and…doubles down on Loeb(+Moore)’s subtext. Rather than sticking to his own macho flirt take on the character, Niecieza implies that the two are sleeping together and has Rictor exchange the more domestic lines in their banter. Where Rictor was a plausibly deniable straight crush for poor Shatterstar in the past, Nicieza writes them as steady partners in the space of a few panels. Rictor is gay or bisexual when we enter the great drought of the aughts (only seven years but well. That’s too many).

XFI then comes along and resets the status quo. Liefeld’s godawful miniseries had broken up the happy couple without giving a mention to Ric, so David creates his own version that continues Simonson’s emotionally harrowed (is that a correct usage?) Rictor with some of Nicieza’s sense of humour. This version is tied to the team by his friendships with Terry and Rahne, continuing the trend of Rictor being closest to women. His early XFI arc is being the accidental hero, and of course that’s represented by saving the girl. He’s got ambiguously romantic scenes with Terry, Monet, and one or two anonymous women, though there’s never any hint at an actual Theresa/Rictor plot.

Instead, XFI keeps its options open and leans into the idea of bisexuality. Madrox comments on Rictor’s looks and his relationship with Shatterstar, Quicksilver’s manipulation of Rictor is coded as seduction, while Rahne remains Rictor’s most important connection on the team. Rahne and Rictor’s relationship is in-focus from the start with their…moment?…at Rictor’s suicide attempt. Their feelings for one another keep them grounded. At the same time, PAD’s misogynist fucking pea brain means he’s decided to write Rahne as a destructive or cursed entity. Because of that, her involvement with Rictor is literally harmful to him. When they sleep together, her claws rip up Rictor’s back. His romance with Rahne is as much a part of his self-harm as jumping off a building or refusing to eat. Rahne was Rictor’s most definitive romantic relationship for a while, and XFI rewrites it as a stagnant union between two people desperate for affection and reassurance.

Taking the whole history of Rictor as the cohesive canon it definitively isn’t, this explains Rictor’s random jump on Tabitha. When he’s unsettled, threatened, or bummed, Rictor will do whatever drastic thing comes to mind to try and salvage the situation. Afraid? Die. Girlfriend and close friend missing? Leave. Afraid of your boss? Leave. Afraid your boss will know you’re gay? Leave. Gf on a different team and close friend now dating someone and drifting away from you? Hit on her. Suicidal again? Sleep with a friend even though it’s literally painful. Rictor acts like a big brother to Rahne more than a boyfriend, their relationship starts from nowhere and ends anticlimactically. By turning Rictor’s main f/m relationship toxic and presenting no alternatives, XFI is the first comic to make ‘gay’ the definitive read on this character. Subsequent stories don’t do anything to complicate this. Is it because writers agree with this interpretation or because they’re cowards? Up for debate.

In any case, I wonder what would happen if someone tried to revisit Rictor’s relationships with women. But imagine that. I don’t think anyone at editorial even remembers he and Tabitha are friends

[mattholicguilt]

the tragedy of julio and 'star actually being back on earth at the same time (between the x-men's return at the end of age of x-man and the time 'star fled to the mojoworld) but julio is so fucked up about the fact that he FORGOT 'star that he can't find his vibrational frequency the way he could before. shatterstar is so messed up about rictor's "death" that he's just tearing his way through madripoor and finding fights to involve himself in so he doesn't have to stand still for too long. he probably missed the x-men coming back.

probably had no clue what the rest of mutantkind was up to until he wakes up one day with charles xavier in his head telling him there's an island. probably went to the island only long enough to confirm that rictor wasn't there and no one he talked to knew where he was or if he was okay and then he was like. well. i guess i'll go back to my childhood home.

[pickleslice]

shatterstar in pride but at what cost. (he looks bad) and where is rictor ive been rattling the bars of my cage asking this

[shattered-catalyst]

" the only word I knew how to read in English was 'Star', because of your advertisements. That is the only thing today that is your fault. Best you remember that." Orange and stars. That's it. Not the creation or the horrible things just the orange flavor and the starbursts.

" there is much I have to say. you can ask questions for more information that way we get through what we can." He begins, carefully choosing his words as if each one was a grenade. Uncertainty radiates off his form as they both get comfortable.

" I use certain language that you may already be past using yourself. I am not. Do not correct me." He warns ahead of time, trying to cut off any disputes over the whole lord mojo thing. Knowing it would be coming from a good place but equally understanding his own journey wasn't there yet.

Hesitating only when wait staff breezes by to take their order. Himself he gets his usual large iced vanilla latte and his ' usual order' or cookies.

" I may come here a bit often." He admitted sheepishly once they were finally left alone, " this is not going to be comfortable for you." Catalyst reminds, his whole time spent on earth has been spent culminating to this moment.

"For me it is my written history. For you it is a future you must allow to take place in order for my own existence."

Catalyst takes the moment to pop a few starbursts, offering a few more to Ben.

He shifts in his seat getting comfortable. They were going to be here, possibly until the street lights came on. He wanted Ben to know the truth completely. Not half truths that could cause plot holes later on.

" I tried to audition to be one of Jim Henson's puppets once but, but they did not take my seasons of experience as a resume. Their loss really."

Where does he even begin? It's a saga with so many potential beginnings that it's difficult to nail down.

" Stories are easier for us. We live as if we are stories after all. So let us begin as if it is just that: a story." Leg jiggling the table he hums, parsing through what he's picked up through books and theater in his time on earth.

He will spare Star the stark trek metaphors for now. They're too niche and he may not appreciate them.

" we can begin with a mythical- what's the word- metaphor, in the swamps of Lerna ancient Greece. With the 9 headed hydra- where there's a single immortal head. "

He waves a finger, "That's our truth. That's our personhood that's where we make reason out of madness. But first we must reap the lies that have grown around us."

" One of those lies you have experienced already. My name? I do not have one. I have what others have called me- and there are many. Almost as many as heads on the hydra itself. "

What does he give? Shatterstar II? Rictor the Sequel? Isaslan III? Catalyst? They all churn his stomach equally in a curdled soup. Just a shrug suffices , " I do not give it thought anymore as my personhood no longer comes into question. I simply exist. If someone chooses to refer to me with a name that is their own choice."

" So before we begin speaking of Lord Mojo and Lord Arize do you have any questions?" He inquires his voice softer than before, face twisting like the first time he'd eaten a bar of cleaner by accident.

When Ben notices that Cat is struggling to keep up with him, they are almost there. He takes a seat at one of the outside table. He doesn't want Cat to feel trapped inside. Gaveedra knows the feeling all too well.

"How are those my fault?" he asks, taking a piece of candy and holding it to his eye, eyebrows quirked.

"The whole truth. As much as you are comfortable sharing." Ben's smile is dry. He knows that there will be nothing comfortable about recounting the experience.

"You did nothing wrong, I am sure. I remember what it's like to be a tool, a puppet, with strings pulled by them." The spineless ones... thinking of them is enough to send a chill down his own spine.

He is trying to impart to the kid that he can understand. Maybe their experiences differed in some ways, he won't know until the kid opens up, but he can at least understand and empathize.

That has to amount to something.

Gaveedra will deal with his underlying guilt for not helping Cat when he didn't even know he existed later. I should have guessed. I should have done something. He can't help but feel like he failed the kid already.