#where he thinks if he isnt 100% a success at something then hes a 100% failure at it

[thealmightyemprex]

New Hollywood Month :Amrican Graffiti

This is my first in a series of reviews of films from the New Hollywood era ,a shift in hollywood during the late 60's to early 80's.Now I didnt know where to start till I stumbled upon this film on Netflix.I need to point out I am a Star Wars fan ......But I actually hadnt seen George Lucas's two non Star Wars directorial efforts ,and I feel like I needed to see American Graffiti cause its the success of this film that gave him a chance to realize his space wizard movie

This 1973 film follows 4 High School graduates in 1962 ,Steve (Ron Howard ),Curt (Richard Dreyfus),John (Paul Le Mat ) and Terry (Charles Martin Smith ) on Steve and Curts last night in town before the fly to collage the next morning

So this isnt a plot movie,we follow these guys as they just go on misadventures and I am of two minds on it : On one hand its a very unconventional film forgoing plot for more of a feeling ,the feeling of a last night of youth and frankly what I like about the film is the setting,the movie has an ernestness and sincerity that is appealing with a subtle shadow of what comes later in history hanging over it.I think the film is shot and edited beautifuly and the acting from Ron Howard,Richard Dreyfus ,Cindy Williams,Paul Le Mat ,Chares Martin Smith and even a small kind of antagonistic role by Harrison Ford all work.I also love the use of music and famous DJ Wolf Man Jack as a sort of greek chorus for the film ,and I really love the scene that focuses on him.Theres also a really good comedic bit involving Charles Martin Smith trying to buy booze .So yeah this is a well made good movie.....That I kind of dont like

So to explain,I feel like a movie can be really flawed and stil enjoyable....By that same token a film can be very good on a technical level.....But you can still not like it and Im sorry but I was sitting there most of the movie wanting to yell "WHEN IS SOMETHING GONNA HAPPEn "cause not a lot does !!!!!Its just four people kind of just wandering about aimlessly .Look I KNOW its a ME thing ,Im not a car person(If you love old cars this movie is for you) and Im not really into slice of life stuff .Also theres a weird subplot involving a 12 year old who wont leave Paul Le Mat alone and how he gets her to leave is....Ugggghhh ,so be aware

So again Im of two minds ,cause I personally dont love it.....But I can totally see this being someones jam ,theres a lot of good in it .If you like slice of life see it ,but if your like me skip it

Oh by the way tangent here.......WHY THE FUCK IS THIS ON AFIS 100 GREAT MOVIES LIST ? THERE ARE SO MANY MOVIES LEFT OFF THAT,WHY THIS ONE ?

@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa @amalthea9 @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @piterelizabethdevries @countesspetofi @filmcityworld1 @barbossas-wench

[liyahaffirmed]

UPDATE.’

i havent been active at all in the past week, and heres why!

(life update, future posts, success stories, new love 👀, & why everything is going good for me right now)

so basically ive just been feeling really drained and out of energy lately.

but! my mother ordered me a shein haul (which i manifested 🤭, success story post coming soon!) my gma took me on a shopping spree and bought me some clothes toooo, im getting a room makeover from my mommy, dad is giving me some money, my best friend did my hair for free (i did hers too!), I got a check for $100 for a program i did durring the school year (no warning or anything! didnt even know they gave out checks for the program! success story coming soon on that too + a method!) Im getting my hair done tommorow, nails done this week, and im going out for half of the week for my best friends birthday. my skin has also been clearing up after suffering a baddd breakout with really painful bumps!

why?

subliminals, writing out my affirmations and desires and then simply LEAVING THEM ALONE. i wrote down all of my desires & i affirmed for three days straight, “i have all of my desires, my life is exactly like my script.” and then, i stopped thinking about it. I just listened to subliminals in my sleep, i started the playlist with an asmr video to put me to sleep, then have my subliminals lined up in order of most important to me to least important. then i just…went to sleep 🤷🏾‍♀️.

i think what others do is hyperfocus on their manifestations, desires, and affirmations too much when that isnt the method that serves and fulfills them. sometimes you just have to make clear what your desires are and that you have them, and then simlpy let them clear from your mind and let your subconscious handle it from there. All ive been doing for the past few days is writing down my desires or what i want to happen, leaving it alone and letting it fade from my mind, and boom, instantly, they just happen!!

new love 👀?

so, like 5 months ago i had mapped out the “perfect guy for me.” Tall, dreadhead, sweetheart, treats me right, etc etc. the list was titled something like “my ideal boy” and it had EVERY SINGLE trait i wanted in a guy. now, for the last two months i was focusing on my old sp (we’ll call him “jake”) he’s toxic, doesnt talk to me unless i talk to him, doesnt be on the phone with me unless i call him, and said he “doesnt want me around.” so after i did all that hyperfocusing on trying to change him, i gave up, i didnt truly believe that he would change. and i didnt feel like he was worth even manifesting anymore.

so i texted my sister (not by blood) about it, telling her that i was officially #cooloffjake and that i was tired of the way he was treating me, that he didnt care about me, and that i was done with him. that SAME DAY, i was on ft with my sister when all of a sudden she asks if she can put me on with her brother (not by blood) so i talk with her more and more about him, and she added him to the call so she could better explain the situation im in.

as of right not, i, not allowed to date until im 16, he knows that and has agreed that he would 100% stay loyal to me even though we arent together right now! he understands my predicament completely and said has no problem waiting till i turn 16 to be in a real relationship with me 🤭. hes so sweet, he texts me all the time and calls me cute nicknames, and hes a total loverboy. he just makes me so happy 🤗.

whats funny is that i wrote that list and forgot about it after a week! i dont even know where it IS anymore. but this just goes to show that when you let go of things that do not serve you, the universe will send you something (or rather someone) who does 💞.

have a lovely day my (idk what you guys want me to call yall 😓)

- liyah 💖

[kjack89]

If you're still taking Spotify requests: E/R for which ever song is your favorite that ISNT a repeat from last year. (Or Taylor Swift. My coworker has been over playing Midnights in the office and I'm so sick of it atm.)

Oh man, this was a hard song to pick, because I love so many songs on this playlist (obviously, or they wouldn't be in my top 100!). In the end, I went with the song that I have loved the longest, the one that I used to ask my father to play whenever he drove, like, 4-year-old me anywhere because the album this was on was one of the cassette tapes he had in his car.

Well, it was this album or Enya, and sadly Orinoco Flow didn't make my top 100 for some reason.

87. "The Ballad of Billy the Kid" by Billy Joel

It's a Western AU. Because why the hell not at this point.

The night was quiet and peaceful, its stillness broken only by the gentle crackle of the dying fire and the ubiquitous chirp of crickets, but Enjolras couldn’t seem to enjoy it, his own ears still ringing with the sounds of chaos from earlier.

As a general rule, Enjolras didn’t like robbing trains. Too high a possibility of innocent people being hurt or recognizing one of Les Amis, defeating the purpose of how they handled their robberies, and besides, word of mouth spread faster when robbing banks.

But when Combeferre got reliable word that the Corinthe, headed from back east out to the west coast, was carrying a stash of money belonging to none other than F. H. Tholomyès himself, one of the wealthiest and most exploitative robber barons the West had ever seen, Enjolras knew that not even he could pass up this opportunity.

Which was how Les Amis had found themselves that morning perched along the train tracks, guns and horses at the ready. As they waited for the train to round the bend in the tracks, Enjolras could not help but share a few words, knowing they would never have another opportunity like this one. “Gentlemen,” he started, sweeping his hat off his head to catch their attention, “where are we going?”

To his right, crouched behind a rocky outcropping, Courfeyrac muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “For Christ’s sake,” but Enjolras ignored him, instead glancing around at their compatriots.

Joly sheepishly raised a hand. “Are we going to the train?” he asked, barely managing to hide his smile as Grantaire and Bossuet sniggered on either side.

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed, and Joly’s smile disappeared. “Yes,” Enjolras said, with a bite of impatience. “We’re going to the train just as we are going to the future. And what we do here today is in service of all people. Gentlemen, we are no mere robbers—”

“We do not steal for riches,” Bahorel recited in what was clearly meant to be an undertone but carried a little too well.

“We do not steal for glory,” Feuilly added, a grin twitching at the corners of his mouth as Prouvaire chimed in, with the cadence of an orator, “Thievery, I hate you, but I make use of you—”

“—For by stealing this money, so too do we steal our future from those who would keep it from us,” Bahorel, Feuilly and Prouvaire finished in unison, and Enjolras glowered at them.

Grantaire cleared his throat. “Maybe if you didn’t use the same speech at the start of every robbery—” he started, but Enjolras ignored him, barreling stubbornly onward.

“We are advancing the unity of man,” he said through gritted teeth. “The common man out from under the thumb of the rich, that is the goal. And whatever happens here today, through our failure or through our success, we are creating an alternative to those who think there’s no other way to live.”

He glanced at Combeferre on his left, who also looked a little like he was trying not to smile, and Enjolras scowled. He was saved from saying anything by the train finally rounding the tracks, and instead jammed his hat on his head before he raised his voice to shout, “Courage, and onward!”

From there, things had devolved into the usual controlled chaos that was the undercurrent of every robbery they had ever done, all leading to this moment camped out by the fire, their afternoon’s takings – even more than Enjolras had hoped – in a series of nondescript bags to be tied to a horse’s saddle. 

As much as Enjolras disliked robbing trains, he disliked the aftermath of a robbery even more. He could never find a way to calm himself after the excitement, always ready to move onto the next. He reckoned it was part of what made him so successful, even if it meant always feeling a little like an outsider as his friends traded jokes and stories around the campfire as he brooded on their next plan.

Still, there was nothing else for it, and with a sigh, he sat upright, grabbing his hat from on top of his saddle and placing it on his head before standing. He bent to pick up the saddle, carrying it over to his horse, Mabeuf, who was drowsily grazing where he was picketed. “Sorry for the early morning, boy,” he murmured, rubbing the horse’s neck before lifting the saddle onto his back.

A similar movement caught the corner of his eye and he immediately turned, his hand automatically falling to the pistol at his hip. He relaxed when he saw it was just Grantaire tending to his own horse.

The relaxation was short-lived, seeing as how Grantaire had never been an early riser and had managed to drink enough whiskey to drown a lesser man, and Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “What’re you doing?”

Grantaire didn’t even glance over at him, adjusting the saddle with a practiced eye. “What’s it look like I’m doing?”

Enjolras scowled. “Looks like you’re packing up.”

Now Grantaire did look over at him, a small smile creasing his face. “I always knew you were more than a pretty face.”

Enjolras crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Why are you packing up?” he asked, ignoring Mabeuf nudging his shoulder in search of an apple or sugar cube.

Grantaire shrugged. “Because I’m going.”

“Going where?” Enjolras ground out. No one managed to irritate him quite like Grantaire did.

Grantaire shrugged again, squinting out at the horizon where the first hint of light was just beginning to break. “Well, now, that’s a good question,” he said easily. “Not sure yet.”

Enjolras sighed. “You know you can’t come with me.”

“I do,” Grantaire said.

Enjolras scowled. “You know why we do it like this.”

“Hasn’t changed.”

“Grantaire.” They’d had this argument so many times before that Enjolras really only needed to say Grantaire’s name in that tone for them to both know exactly how this would play out, just as it had every time before. It was as familiar to them as the sun rising over the plains, and almost as comforting in a strange way, as if a mission wasn’t complete without its familiar cadence.

Which was why Enjolras kept his tone calm but firm in the explanation he’d given a hundred times before. “I’m the one who has to go,” he told Grantaire. “We do the job, I split off with the money and distribute it to where it needs to go. That way, I draw all the attention to myself, and let you all get away. No one ever suspects you. You can’t be implicated.”

They hadn’t always done it this way, but after the first posse got together to track them down, Enjolras had insisted on the change, had insisted that everyone else cover their faces so that the only one anyone ever got a good look at was him.

There was a reason Les Amis wasn’t well known throughout the West, and it wasn’t because they weren’t damn good at what they did – it’s because to every sheriff from the Mississippi to the Rio Grande, they were known as Apollo the Kid and his Gang.

He didn’t need to remind Grantaire of that, though – Grantaire knew. Even in the dim light of the dying fire, Enjolras could see a muscle working in Grantaire’s cheek. “That is indeed the plan.”

Enjolras suddenly found he couldn’t quite meet Grantaire’s eye, and so busied himself with Mabeuf’s bridle. “Which is why you can’t come with me,” he said, his voice rough.

“You already said that,” Grantaire said, matching his tone. “I ain’t deaf.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Enjolras shot back.

Grantaire scowled at him. “Listen, the job’s done, right? So there’s no need for me to stay. Way I see it, I’m free to go.”

Enjolras jerked a shrug. “I guess.”

“You guess?” Grantaire repeated. “And here I thought freedom was the entire point of what we were doing here.” He paused before adding pointedly, “Isn’t it?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Of course, but that’s not—”

Grantaire gave him a look. “Ain’t you the one who keeps saying that the working people need to unite because the only thing we have to lose is our reins?”

“Chains, but—”

“Then let a man pack his horse in peace,” Grantaire finished.

Enjolras scowled. “Fine, if you’ll answer me one question.”

“What’s that?” Grantaire asked, not looking over at him.

“Why’d you suddenly decide to pack up now when I started to?”

Something that might’ve been a smile twitched at the corners of Grantaire’s mouth. “Coincidence.”

Enjolras’s eyes narrowed. “Helluva coincidence.”

“Sure is.”

Still, despite himself, despite everything, Enjolras had to admit that packing up seemed to go faster with Grantaire at his side. Or at the very least, it seemed just a little bit less lonely.

When they were both packed – and the money they’d stolen carefully stashed in Enjolras’s saddlebags – Enjolras pulled himself onto his horse, glancing over at Grantaire. “You heading out?”

“Yessir,” Grantaire said, patting his horse’s neck as he added in an attempt at casual, “Which way are you headed?”

Enjolras jerked his chin toward the horizon. “West.”

Grantaire nodded slowly. “Well, whaddya know,” he said. “So am I.”

Enjolras just shook his head. “Coincidence?” he asked wryly. 

Grantaire half-smiled. “Sure is.”

Just as the packing was less lonely with Grantaire by his side, so was the ride. It was early enough that neither man worried too much about anyone else being on the road, though both kept a weather eye out, just in case.

But the ride in comfortable silence could only last for so long, and eventually, Enjolras reined his horse to a stop, Grantaire stopped as well. Enjolras nodded to the fork in the road up ahead. “This is where we part ways,” he said, a note of warning in his voice.

Grantaire’s expression was unreadable. “If you say so.”

“I do,” Enjolras said with conviction. He hesitated before adding, “Thank you for coming all this way with me—”

“It was nothing,” Grantaire interrupted. “I was headed this way anyway.”

Enjolras managed a small smile. “Coincidence.”

Grantaire smiled as well. “Well, something like that, anyway.”

Enjolras nodded, something sharpening in his expression. “Just like it’s coincidence how you always seem to be headed my way after every robbery,” he said lightly.

Grantaire’s smile faded, and he shrugged. “Ain’t the world a remarkable place,” he said noncommittally.

“I suppose it is.” Enjolras glanced over at him. “Where are you headed now?”

Grantaire shrugged again. “Oh, here, there, and around,” he said, purposefully vague, but Enjolras didn’t miss the way his hand twitched toward his gun in its holster. “Got some business to keep an eye on.”

Enjolras frowned. “You know I don’t need you to protect me,” he said bluntly, tired of playing this little game every single time.

To his surprise, Grantaire barked a laugh before running a hand across his mouth. “Enjolras, you don’t need me for a damn thing.”

“I don’t know that I’d go quite that far,” Enjolras said before he could stop himself, and he quickly looked away, feeling the back of his neck burn despite being protected by his hat. “In any case, I’ll, uh, I’ll see you at the rendezvous.”

Grantaire nodded. “Yessir.” He kneed his horse forward, ostensibly toward the fork Enjolras wasn’t taking, then paused, turning back to face him. “Oh, and Enjolras?”

“Yeah?”

Grantaire raised his chin just slightly. “Anytime you want it to be something other than a coincidence, all you have to do is say the word.”

Enjolras’s throat felt tight. “I know,” he said, his voice low.

For a moment, it looked like Grantaire might say something more, but instead he just touched the brim of his hat before kneeing his horse forward again. Enjolras watched him go before starting forward once again, alone.

[btsficfinds]

Famous BTS Jimin x reader/oc fanfic NO SMUT

There was this really famous Jimin x reader/oc fanfic on wattpad that I read in 2017/2018. No smut. Very ahead of its time for fanfiction esp on wattpad. There were alot of details that I forgot about and things I’m unsure of so I’ll split this into Details I 100% remember and details im speculating on.

Things I remember:

* had loads of feminist themes. it was very reminiscent of the handmaids tale.

* It was set in a post apocalyptic(?) world where females were scarce yet the theme was very historical(?) like they rode horses and the attire was very period-piece.

* There are only three scenes I remember: First, Jimin and FL went outside the city walls on horse back and got stuck in the snow in the middle of nowhere and had to stay in a cabin together and thats where the romance plot progression took place. This scene was around early to middle of the book.

* Second, The other BTS members were in the book. There was a scene where this group of rebels outside of the walls/civilisation wanted to rebel and stop the oppression of women within the walls. The leaders sidekick/second in command was Yoongi (i think). The scene takes place when Jimin and FL finds them after the cabin.

* Third, at the end of the book, Hoseok appears. Some of the members that appear were bad characters within the oppressive society(Hoseok) and some outside were good(Yoongi). It was at the end of the book, the epilogue had a scene with Hoseok in it and a bad guy was being punished(?)

Details about the book I’m 100% UNSURE of:

* The FL could have been a slave in the first scenes and she was sold off/allocated to jimin at a slve house.

* Jimin despite that isnt really a bad guy its just how the society was structured after women became scarce. He treated fl very kindly but abit coldly too.

* Jimin was maybe a high ranking authority figure in that soicety.

* Jimin and FL relationship in the first act was maid and master.

* Their relationship at the start was very stiff and strict but became romantic after cabin scene. Jimin was always open minded to FL strggles and the women oppresion but becomes moreso after meeting the rebel group.

* The book itself was pretty long, with like 80 chapters or something.

* The wattpad may have been deleted

* The wattpad was extremely successful, becoming a legit book, hard cover and all.

* The author may have changed the characters from being BTS members to OCS or an orginal book.

* The cover art was green? And no jimin in the picture.

.

[formulahs]

i think what makes me compare lestappen gate to tjlc vs larry stylinson is there is a very "look at how clever we are" tenor to the lestappen gate and tjlc discours whereas larry stylinson was more, unhinged? the "haha just kidding, look at how delulu we are...or are we" is also very tjlc whereas i remember the larry stuff being more earnest? i would also say that while larry came off as primarily being a young fan thing, tjlc and lestappen gate comes off as being more from young or middle aged professionals (often times bc the people in these mvts will credential themselves as a way to add authority to their analysis)

it's also very reminiscent of the way in which they've cast rbr and christian horner as like "the good guys" vs the evil ferrari, similar to how tjlc had cast moftiss as "the good guys" vs the evil bbc, compared to larry stylinson where it was just all evil management (and subsequent turning on the boys themselves).

i don't necessarily think lestappen gate is a plague upon fandom the way tjlc was - certainly none of the lestappen gate people have harassed fellow fans over top/bottom->pedo accusations that spilled into real life. i also think that sports rpf is different to band rpf insofar as sporting success does play a massive role in the popularity of pairings + the competition element vs band rpf where the cast is mostly static and success is "shared" so the likelihood that lestappen gate ever gets to larry or tjlc levels of crazy is fairly low. still, interesting to ponder the similarities.

sorry for the ramble lol

will say again that I'm 100% illiterate in tjlc so I have no real contribution to make for the actual comparison but this prompted me to read the fanlore article on it and what i take from it is like yeah the whole premise of believing the writers intended for a johnlock endgame based on literary fiction romantic subtext really does reminisce of lestappengaters thinking sharl was about to leave his red cage bc he and max started being a little more than cordial to each other. as to the "i know something you don't" behavior that's like standard conspiracy procedure, and that's where my initial comparison to larry started tbh bc there were some reeeal theorists back in the day. and the whole good cop-bad cop they do on rbr-ferrari YES. i was just yesterday talking about that i mean? do you seriously think charles to rbr would be better like girl that's sophies choice

i don't really think lestappen or any f1 rpf ship for that matter will gain enough traction to create these big fandom mafias bc like you said there's the competition factor and id say a more heterogeneous audience in more "public" online spaces like twitter, not to mention there isnt any discussions on the importance of acknowledging queer subtext in classic literature hsskjdjd the setting here is the 8th grade dropout sport and most people just wanna read ab hot sporties groping each other etc etc. YET i'm still of the opinion that there's a boyband-like aura to the 90s generation and it does call for a bit of conspiracy craziness

[xherry7816]

not 2 brag but ive offically reach 100 likes YIPPIE !!!!

anyways i thought abt the thiefKAI au (gosh i hate KAI so mcuh hes always in my head) and i tried 2 make like drawing 4 it.

so basically if this was a long au i think itd start, yk, at the start so at the time KAIs just starting out but like gaining traction from society or whatever

so these are what i had in mind for like his og look, i gave him this fat hood bc A, i cant draw hoods and B, i think he looks silly (in a good way) erm and his shirt reached to just under the crotch. gosh erm i didnt like saying that, can i say upper middle thigh reigion ?? uhhh yeah. OH and the question is raised oh yeab sure its makes sense he could have become a thief because he needs food and supplies for him and NYA but why is he becoming some big scale infamous theif ?? thank you fot asking and well my answer is GARMADON (aaaahh!!) or some other large scale villain hiring KAI to steal all this expensive important stuff to yk exchange for money. the villain gets to progress with thier evil scheme and KAI, who is yk oblivious, gets money from it - win win situation.

i was thinking about giving well known better off more successful theifKAI to be wearing an oni mask, yk the full coverage and cool power boost (specifically the mask of hatred because it turns u all lava-y and how the color ourple is associated with royaltly and therefore the wealth and expense KAI loathed for in childhood which i think would be a nice way 2 tie it all together) but idk if that made him too OPish if yk what i mean but then again its not like hes in awarw of the other two masks, not that he'd go on a quest for them unless he knew they were valuable so maybe i will give him the mask.

and o my dear friends you may wonder AA WHAT ABOUT NYA ??? FEAR NOT compadre for i have a plan for him HOHO. so obviously NYA isnt oblivious to her brother's job shenanigans but hes kept enough of it away from her that she doesnt have enough of the pieces to put it all together so basically he has no idea whats goinf on with her brother. however NYA does manage to grow up somewhat comfortably and she manages to secure his place quite high in BORG.INC, aha saying INC kinda makes it sound evil. in this way she gets acquainted with PIXAL, ZANE and JAY who are during this time all ninja bc yk BORG stuff. btw we are moving this all into an au where the world turns out somehwat the same even without KAI just so i dont have to imagine the whole word differently bc thatd be hard and id make plenty of inconsistencies. ANYWYAS theyre all friends which is cool however NYA has a secret identity, ull never guess it,,,, SAMURAI X whoo !!!! SAMURAIX is a solo vigilante that not only stops crime but sometimes teams up with the NINJA (whos identies are secret) to fight bigger gangs.

everyone gets acquainted during one of KAIs heists where hes tryna steal, idk a golden weapon because theyv all been dug up and put on display in old rich peoples homes. i feel KAI is more on the stealth side of things but once he engages into battle he likes to be a little eccentric but cornered hes awfully angsty. this is indeed still and elemental master au! however KAI and NYA have not yet realised they can will the elements.

ill stop drawing KAI now i need 2 draw the other members, its literally been months since ive drawn LLOYD and ive never drawn PIXAL,,, someone please take this au i want 2 see something be done witj it TT

[nightlyponder]

even as a meat eater the arguments that are pro-meat eating that happen On Here are not the strong arguments people be tryna make them out to be. even without seeing the counterarguments from the vegans/vegetarians i follow, which i dont follow many, the pro meat arguments dont stand on their own.

there are extremists in the anti meat camp for sure but it annoys me to know they are a minority in that camp and i actually dont hear from them as often as i hear people complain bout them.

what irritates me most though is that i saw a post come across my dash that was a criticism of veg* folk where the tone was very much in line with how capitalists talk about capitalism + anti communist rhetoric. its the lack of imagination in envisioning a world beyond what currently is. the post was very much 'how can the world exist without animal agriculture, its impossible'. maybe it is with that attitude. and the fact that it was reblogged by a solarpunk person too grinds my gears. like arent we here for supporting new technologies that reduce harm and that is efficient? there are beasts of burden that folk rely on because they dont have other technology to use but isnt that something we could work toward?

(also meat eaters also eat non meat products, aint nobody out here eating nothing but meat and if they are, their body isnt doing well i can promise you that so those arguments bout people's veggies/fruits bein picked by exploited workers, girl do you think your veggies/fruits are comin from somewhere different?? but i digress)

and i dont even wanna get into the posts that say "nature is unfair" as a defense to eating meat because theres a lot that goes on in nonhuman animal lives that we as beings with morals and complex understandings that we don't do because we understand its wrong (talking about sexual assault and murder, like come on sis. male lions naturally kill a lioness' cubs before mating with her to take over the pride, what does that have to do with how humans govern themselves.)

im okay with saying i eat meat because i like it and its easier for me to find food options without worrying about animal products and that eating animals has ties to cultural practices, rather than using a 'these are our animalistic urges therefore we're right to do it' defensive. thats too close to arguments that justify misogynist bullshit too ('men are animals, they cant help their urges that why he assaulted her' like hello? do you see the dots connected the bullshit to the other bullshit).

these are the goal posts im talking within. not gonna go into dietary restrictions based on (dis)abilities because thats a different argument than the arguments im annoyed at, as stated above. but also every vegan i follow makes it abundantly clear its about reducing as much harm as possible so you do the best you can and theres no one who can do it 100% but the whole point is to try, and that veganism isn't a diet, its an ideology that includes addressing how we eat because it can't be separated from the ideology.

i just want more good faith arguments from my fellow meat eaters. cuz if there's anyone who has been successful in pushing me toward a more vegan lifestyle its the weak but strangely strongly supported arguments of other meat eaters.

[asireadiwrite]

my favourite conversations are the ones with no real answers.

No one is exclusively bad, nor is anyone exclusively good. some are just forced to work harder at suppressing the bad.

I'm not sure I want a reminder of someone I'll never see again.

But I did notice he laughed at all the right times. I think good comedic timing is one of the most important things about a person's personality.

Not everyone is homeless because they choose to be. They're homeless because there isn't enough help to go around. And people like my father are the problem. Instead of helping others, people use the worst-case scenarios to excuse their own selfishness and greed. (I don't agree with this point 100%, only the last part)

I dint want to remember him. if I had to remember him, it would mean he wasn't a part of my life anymore.

But no matter how different the substance of a love might be at different ages in a person's life, I know that love still has to weigh the same. You feel the weight on your shoulders and in your stomach and on your heart no matter how old you are.

I can't even remember what all we talked about, but I do remember how I felt.

"I hope you never know what it's like to feel that lonely, Lily," he said.

"Lily. Life is a funny thing. We only get so many years to live it, so we have to do everything we can to make sure those years are as full as they can be. We shouldn't waste time on things that might happen someday, or maybe even never."

People spend so much time wondering why the women dont leave. Where are all the people who wonder why the men are even abusive? isn't that where the only blame should be placed?

"I'm going to make a promise to you," he said. "When my life is good enough for you to be a part of it, I'll come find you. But I don't want you to wait around for me, because that might never happen."

Maybe love isnt something that comes full circle. It just ebbs and flows, in and out, just like the people in our lives.

From the Epilogue

"There is no such thing as bad people. We are all just people who do bad things."

And last but not least, to my damned ol' daddy, Eddie. You aren't here to see this book come to life, but I know you would have been its biggest supporter. You taught me many things in life-the greatest being that we don't have to end up the same person we once were. I promise not to remember you based on your worst days. I will remember you based on the best, and there were many. I will remember you as a person who was able to overcome what many cannot. Thank you for becoming one of my closest friends. And thank you for supporting me on my wedding day in a way that many fathers would not have. I love you. I miss you.

My own reflections :

Atlas 

My biggest takeaway from reading this was it makes me yearn to find my Atlas. He was sweet, understanding, and patient in his love. Albeit a little low in self-esteem, though understandably so given his background. But he was never pushy, never begrudging to the world or the people around him, and that's what I appreciate most. He repays love with even more love. Because of what he went through, it only made him want to be a bigger person, not worse. The number of people who can do that in my life is less than one hand. Even I struggle to do so. And I truly appreciate how steadfast his love for Lily was because I yearn for that myself. I wished he would have been more determined in finding Lily all those years ago, and have more confidence in providing Lily with a loving relationship. Because I think what Lily wanted from him was just him. Not successful Atlas, or rich Atlas, but rather the Atlas that she handed food to when she was fifteen and he was still living in that barren house. The Atlas that gave her his fullest companionship silently. 

Atlas and Lily.

From Atlas and Lily, I learned the importance of always speaking your mind. Because the things we leave unsaid always become our biggest regrets. We often think from our point of view what the best thing for the other person should or could be. But is it truly so? 

The myriad of differences between people - our emotions, thought processes, experience, upbringing - will inevitably affect how we process certain information and the decisions we will make when faced with the same option. The decisions we make are based on our understanding and capabilities, and it does not make one decision more 'right' than the other.

Ryle and Lily

When I first read how Ryle hurt Lily, it did seem like an accident - he had no intention to do so, and he immediately & profusely apologized. 

But I came to realize that the things that hurt us most are accidental ones. Our guards are down because we never see them coming. We never expect it to happen to us out of all people. Thus, the damage is always greater, and the hurt is always more lasting. And then it becomes a slippery slope. Because of its incidental nature, we would mutter to ourselves: "It's alright. It's an out-of-pattern incident, and it will never happen again." We convince ourselves, we forgive, we try to move on and accept them back." The second time such incidents happen, we will feel like we are already in a sunken investment. Because we forgave them once, what's one more? Besides, they did seek our forgiveness, and there's always some logical reasoning we can find to ease off the worry and fear. And that's when the whole tragedy unfolds. I say tragedy because 10 out of 10 times, this is the start of an unbreakable pattern of behavior, and it always leads to an unfortunate ending.

So trust our gut when we feel something is off. Do not use logic to try and reason it out because our logic is only useful when we can objectively analyze a situation. In the case of abuse, victims can never do so. Do not depend on others to save you, because there might not always be an Atlas in your life to do so. The hardest chain of abuse to break is the one on your mind and heart. You need to see for yourself that you do not deserve to be treated like such, and that yielding will not change the course of events. If you're unwilling, being physically freed will do you no good when you're still chained to that terrible past mentally. 

Most importantly, you have to be your saving grace because most abuse happens beyond closed doors, and it sometimes never takes physical form. So how can someone on the outside know to save you when they can't see the signs? 

Hopefully, more women (or men) will be brave like Lily and save themselves from a vicious cycle like such. Because it makes me hopeful that my mother can too. 

#saveyourself #domesticabuse

[leadendeath]

uh. so i've been thinking about this for a while, right? and it's Now that i've decided to talk about it, as this is tumblr, the "weird* kinds of attraction" website

it's not a term i apply to myself/label myself with, but i love the term "wtfromantic/sexual". because hell yea dude, wtf IS how i experience attraction.

there's this one artist who i have like... a ~creative crush~ on. the fandom we're in knows them, and their works are beloved.

now, this isn't art style envy (though it is a great art style), nor some kind of? artistic success envy?? (everybody's different yknow success isnt real bro it doesnt matter lol)

it is absolutely something else.

they inspire me so much. they make me wanna become a better artist so that i can show them (they know i exist and like what i do too! i'm not being some kind of STARING FROM A DISTANCE ಠ_ಠ creeper lmao... i have actually had that happen to me before, and it would be inappropriate and wrong feeling.) and as i just said it's more than "wow you are other artist das good i like u now" and due to my inability to distinguish between different types of feelings, all my brain can say about it is: "well yeah there's that^, but also if you liked me back? well that'd just be swell :}"

i care a lot about them (im low empathy </3 so when i feel this way, it's significant yknow?). we like the same kind of things. theyre from the same country as me

(i hope so much that this part doesnt sound weird- it's significant due to: my country's really kinda small if you think about it and it's kinda rare to see someone from outside the US. to give it some perspective: i've never got a dnation/cmmission from anyone who uses my same currency from my same country lmao) (hoooly shit i just type in "how many englands fit in america" and i knew it was a lot but. look. and this is the UK! i coloured Actually England in green to further hilight how small where i'm at is!)

also. the last person i was ~involved with~ -over the internet, not irl- was in one of the states. so the thought of someone i like actually being not thousands of miles and expensive flights (wouldve been worth it 100% but im poor and disabled yknow) away? that's nice.

woah big tangent. u kno me

on the subject of the previous person... i really don't wanna say it and i've never wanted to say it but he was too neurotypical. (**he was not normal at all because we're both furries- need i say more!? you know what i mean.) but it kinda brought it home for me, the same thought i think about myself so often: "oh. oh no i can't subject you or anyone else to my mental illness." even though i was deliriously happy with him which. hurts like nothing else. i NEED the fellow major depressive communication. i NEED the this:

^just found that pic look how good it is

also omg look at these colours of the wtfromantic also known as quoiromantic flag it RULES

its freakin. neon grean

* =by weird i did not mean "ew weird abnormal you must have something wrong with you ://" kind of weird! i mean like unusual. wanted to clarify so to not cause offense i hope; fellow aroace spectrum people who experience attractions in a way that is considered outside the norm are great <3

[midnightmisadventures]

Ahh okay dream 1

These will probably be pretty condensed cause its just one of those dreams where you had to be there....

So, the first dream somehow i was casted into a new mini series tv show. And we basically filmed the pilot or the first couple of episodes not thinking much, but the pilot leaked? and went viral online. It was insane. 

I was the only person in the main cast who wasnt super famous and they just happened to take a chance on. It was me, cole sprouse, lili reinhart, maybe kj apa?? although im not sure, and connor woods like fibulaaa. 

And it was basically riverdale hahaha. But so much better. It was like a dark drama where we were solving mysteries, well we hadnt gotten that far but the pilot was the exposition of a mystery that we were going to come together to solve. We were a group of young friends, and we were sitting in a park/parking lot and talking and connor was throwing a basket ball around the group.

And the color scheme was very filmy and aesthetic and the writing was amazing and most importantly i sounded natural and organic!! Like im literally not an actor lmao, but i did a good job. 

So we filmed it, idk if it was the teaser that got out or the pilot but basically. Something got posted on twitter and it blew up, and it was like INSTANT fame for me. Like i was gaining 100s of thousands of followers, people were looking up everything ive ever done and trying to make connections to the show and my career, it was fucking insane. 

I posted something in regards to the show, and a random person found a bunch of my film pictures which apparently i had some with connor and sally darrs whole group and they put them in the twitter thread so now MY film pictures were going viral. And people were starting to ship me and connor and say like “ooh theyve been friends maybe thats how they got the role”

And i was like omg how did they find those!! Also yes connor and i are friends now but when the pictures were taken it was like our friend groups first time hanging out with connor and sally darrs group and i just happened to take pictures cause i was excited and they really liked us and i wanted to make it look like we were longtime friends. 

So it was crazy. I was on the phone with people flipping out that i went viral. Dalvin even came up to me and was like woah arielle you were cast in “whatever the show was called” and i was like yeah!! and he was like thats so cool. 

At one point i was in hs and m*d* came in my class and i was trying to show her like look, this tweet went viral and im on this show and she was like 

“Does bri river like those people?” and i was like what???? i dont know i don’t follow her, to support you wtf?? How is that the first thing you ask me when im doing something successful like how are you making it about you? (except i didnt say all that just the first part) 

Anyways, everything was happening so fast and i was so excited and because it was going viral it was a big indicator that the show was gonna be picked up and we’d get to film more epsiodes and it’d be popular. It was coming on TV and i was like “woah i didnt even know it was coming on tv yet??” 

I was excited for the press runs, like i wonder what my outfit is going to be and its gonna be so fun to do all of this with like cole sprouse and lili reinhart like im gonna be recognized as a huge actor this is insane. And people were so curious about me because i was the only nobody. 

ahhhhhhhhhhhh isnt that insane!! It was so fun and exciting and i was so happy.

Oh and VERY IMPORTANT, before i fell asleep i SPECIFICALLY asked spirit for help on career path and.....whats my purpose and am i supposed to be applying for sm jobs on linkedin. soo.....don’t know what this means yet. But in addition to my tswift and renee rapp dreams. ALso the dream where my dad posted a tweet that went viral on twitter. Somethings...brewing :)

[hellbabyfromhell]

house treats a dog trainer who says she has a 100% success rate for helping angry dogs and make them quiet and nice. house argues about how it cant be exactly 100% and wont stop being annoying about it. He brings in a literally feral rabid dog and she like makes it calm and lie down . House is disturbed by this because he wanted to be right that she sucks at stuff. (B-plot: house and the team sees if house can be trained with a dog clicker.) they break into her house and they find loads of dog pheromones and learn she has been wearing it like a perfume to calm down dogs. she thinks this is fine and theres no link but they think she is having a freaky reaction to it. but they take the pheromones away and she starts dying harder. house is really mad and has dinner with wilson, where he is complaining about how this lady is a charlatan but he doesnt understand what’s going on while eating out of a bowl of kibble like nothings wrong with it. wilson is watching him intently, as is the rests of the team who is watching from afar. house says his food is really yummy and insists wilson tries some and wilson is like “NO I CANT.” and house is like no you have to. you have to eat it. and wilson is like HOUSE STOP WE’VE BEEN CLICKERING YOU TO MAKE YOU EAT DOG FOOD. and house MAKES him eat a spoonful and hes like “… cocoa puffs..?” and house smirtks smartly as he demonstrates that he knew about their silly trick. “i know you guys are watching…. come out.”(the team is slowly emerging) “don’t worry . i dont bite anymore —“ he pauses and does a house stare and walks away to the sick lady’s room. cameron pours wilson a little milk for his cereal.“20%.” he walks into the room smartly. the patient is miffed and is about to say she doesn’t want to argue about percentages literally on her death bed. but house is like “no. 20% actually refers to the number of dog bites that get infected. You got bit by a dog and never got treated for it and ingredients in the dog pheromone solution were slowing it down. (?? im not a scientist) “ and he says something stupid like “sometimes a dog’s bark really is worse than its bite” and walks out. music starts playing. chase expresses he is mad about what cameron pouring milk for wilson means for them because cameron used to pour milk for her dead husband and he thinks she isnt over him. house walks out and reaches into his pocket and sneakily eats a hand ful of kibble

[matan4il]

I have debated how to say this or even write it but I'm just giving in to try. Based on Max's interview and your recent anon on expectations I wanted to add my opinion no one asked for lol. But here's my thing as a long time viewer and pretty successful predictor.

I take all my clues from Oliver, he has in the past validated and acknowledged and even said he wouldn't promote if he thought it was baiting. He's very sensative to the fandom and the fact he is now leads me to believe that Buddie will be canon by the end of 5 or at least we will have a huge clue that yes its coming. Lets be real here Eddie clearly has PTSD and I don't think thats something we run over to start a relationship. But again, I think we will see it as heavily hinted if they arent already canon.

Now on to my worst case scenario. If the show really cant figure out how to write Buddie or isnt committing to it. I 100% believe that they are done with female LIs for both men. I imagine them actually being roommates for many reasons, either worried about Chris or heck saving money on rent. Have you seen LA prices. And its a cop out but I think for the remainder of the series we will have an ambiguous "platonic " family unit upgraded from S2 and S3. I get why people would be disappointed but I'm really at the point of leave women out of this and let me feel in the blanks if I have too. Give me their family time.

But again... take your clues from Oliver. He wouldn't tease if he didn't think that was the road we were headed.

Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the ask and big hugs!

Oooh, I won't lie, I was wondering whether I would get an ask about Max's interview. And yes, you're always welcome to throw your opinions at me! ;)

I have to admit I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, I do think it matters that Oli and Ryan indicated they're down with Buddie happening. And the change that Oli went through, from refusing to like Buddie stuff since it might be misleading, to liking Buddie edits and art again? It did give me hope he might know the direction these two are on and that it's the one we're all hoping for. On the other, he's also indicated recently he hasn't yet read the script for this season's finale. So... IDK. He might not know as much as we think he does. There might be something else influencing his decision to like Buddie stuff again. Maybe he just missed them, or he decided supporting the artists matters more? I really don't know. At the same time, he might also know the general direction for Buddie without knowing the specifics, like the 518 script, making my whole point moot. XD

If Buddie won't go canon, I can't see them both remaining single. Because 911 would probably want to re-affirm that they're straight by pairing them with female LI's, and also 'coz out of the main cast, they don't have that many single characters, and they can't let the only two be the single pink elephant in the room... However, they may let them be single and still more wrapped up in each other than in anyone else and raising Chris together for the show finale... But I agree with you, that if I can't have canon Buddie, I would take 'filling in the blanks.' If it helps, I think no matter what, the show will always dedicate some of its time to the Buddifer family unit. 911 has made it abundantly clear that romantic or platonic, that little family unit is precious to both the fans and the show.

As for the interview, I have to say that it doesn't scare me into "Buddie is def not going canon." At least not yet. Kristen didn't say Buddie is def not happening. She could have, but she didn't. In fact, she indicated the romantic possibility exists and nothing was ruled out. More than that, she could have implied reading Buddie as romantic is crazy, but instead she admitted it's a valid reading. Even when she claimed it's not how she wrote them, she didn't de-legitimize this option. Also, when stressing that Buddie are just good friends, she added it's where they're at right now. Which... canonically, that's accurate. Doesn't mean they always will be, and her phrasing clearly left the door open for them to be something more at some other point. Plus... these show runners said there was no need for a Buck Begins, then did one, and then said there was no need for Eddie to break down, and we know how that's going... I really am not yet panicking over this interview.

Lastly, Kristen saying she drew the guardianship bit from her mother's rl decision... except, I'm sure her mother was Very Normal about it, as in, she was probably being a responsible parent, taking possible scenarios into account, then sat her bestie down for a talk, explained that because she doesn't want her daughter to be raised by her parents she's asking her BFF to be the legal guardian and gave this woman as much time as she needed to decide on what to say. But is that what Kristen wrote for Buddie? No. Because she too knows there is nothing Very Normal about them. She wrote Eddie making the decision based on a real life-threatening event, with emotions running high, making his decision an emotional rather than a logical one, Buck saying he wished he could have died instead of Eddie (!!!) and then, THEN Eddie, in Very Not Normal fashion, makes the emotionally impactful decision to let Buck know he's been Chris' legal guardian for basically a year, not asking him about it before making the will change because they both knew Buck would not say no (and them verbally confirming this to each other). That makes it less about Eddie's reasonable decision and more about making sure that Buck was emotionally ok, as I've detailed here. But wait, that's not all! We know Eddie's parents suck and why they shouldn't raise Chris, but there's also Eddie's Tia Pepa, or his sisters... he dismisses them all, and more than that, he doesn't even bring them up as the reason he's made Buck Chris' guardian. He's not turning to his best friend 'coz his family sucks. By not going "X can't have Chris 'coz... so I need you to step in," it makes it clear Buck isn't Eddie's default. He's HIS CHOICE.

IDK, Kristen, is this really how you think things went down between your mom and her bestie when that agreement was reached? Yeah, me neither. There is Nothing Remotely Normal about this.

(Sorry for the length, thank you for the ask and please have a look at my ask tag if you're looking for another ask reply. xoxox)

[actualbird]

Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. I did see someone claim LO is still 'doing well on Barnes and Noble" so that proves it's selling well and it's like ... yeah no, it's already marked down 25% from only two weeks on shelves, and they're purposely ONLY pushing the "exclusive cover", meaning they ordered a lot of copies thinking they'd easily sell out (the "worldwide phenomenon" would surely buy all that stock out, right?) but that's just not happening. They were expecting a blowout, not people not knowing it even exists. Whoopsie!

2. tbh i think the reason LO doesnt do well outside of webtoons (ie. the book not doing what it was supposed to do in sales) is bc ... its really niche? like sorry guys, but hxp as a couple is only really popular on the internet, because the general public doesnt know or care about them. hadestown is successful bc orpheus's story is so famous. pjo is successful off general myth. TSOA and circe are connected to the Iliad/odyssey. LO instead expects you to care about a b-couple most havent heard of.

3. Ngl, LO Hades and Lo Persephone reminds me of the Marcos (the Filipino dictator) couple.

4. Okay but can we really put Artemis being a villain past RS. You know how she loves her deep and meaningful color-coding. And plot twists. Except here she'd get to be like "You should've seen it coming, the signs were there, she is puuurpllleee"

5. idk why lo readers love shitting on true beauty or whatever like "ugh why is it dragging on so long" as if if rachel stuck to her original plan and knew how to actually plan ahead and write LO wouldnt have ever gone past 100 episodes, instead of now going into the 200 range and beyond. i dont care how big of a fan you are, yall cant lie to me and say LO needs to be THIS long when so little has actually happened in literal years.

6. Lore Olympus’s definition of wife material and husband material respectively: 1) Wife material - Young (almost underage) hot, curvy, huge tits, fat ass, great grades (that don’t actually matter), a billion talents and hobbies (that are never shown and therefore don’t matter), powerful (but power can’t be displayed), submission and baby-faced. 2) Husband material - Old, rich, cruel and violent (while being unrepentant about it), pretends to do the bare minimum🙄

7. virgin lo that needs rachel to make up persephone created elysium to give her any point in the story vs the chad punderworld which has persephone be headstrong in her powers and say elysium isnt that interesting because she makes meadows and fields every day.

8. Don't get me wrong, I get why the stans get upset over seeing critique and all, but the only reason blogs like this exist is because LO fans and Rachel herself have purposely made sure no critique can happen of the comic to where any disagreement is forced out of the fan spaces and threatened to stay quiet. Blogs like this wouldn't need to exist if they weren't so rapid to any sort of dissent and threatened, doxxed, and sent deathr//pe threats to anyone who doesn't kiss Rachel's feet.

9. i dont even get where the stans claim blogs like this and others obsess over LO all day and yall need to "do something better with your time" when like .. you only post maybe once a day? if even that? meanwhile they're spending every waking moment obsessing over LO and screaming and harassing anyone who dares critiques it and hating everything that isnt LO like?? dont be throwing stones in glass houses, you guys. most anti blogs are just side ones too, not their main ones like the stans, so 🤷🏿

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

10. RS likes to pretend Hades is an excellent partner for doing the bare minimum when the truth is she can’t even depict him doing the bare minimum. He pretends to respect Persephone’s boundaries but straight up questions her choice to remain celibate and tells her he won’t consider having a celibate wife. He says he doesn’t view her as damaged goods for being a rape victim but immediately flies into a rage and makes her comfort him in her time of need. What a piece of shit!

[groochi-gang]

okko’s inn is so good. the director was a key animator for ghibli so it has all the beauty of that style and the “strong female lead” philosophy carried over. it’s about an autistic girl with trauma and a found family trope IF YOU EVEN CARE  

the realistic portrayal of panic attacks and how her grief wasnt sanitized or brushed over just because shes a little girl but also wasnt overdone, the portrayal of trauma was really well balanced.... her seemingly flat affect in the beginning was hinted at being due to her in the first stage of giref, but the telling of the story is so interestingly done (and there were so many points where i thought this could be darker! but it still chose to keep it “light” without missing any minor details that made it viscerally sad, it’s subjective if this improves it but i think it does) that the healing she goes through isnt so much in stages but something without a beginning or end ... AND her seemingly flat effect could be the fact that shes autistic and doesnt emote as to whats typical, and in regards to whats typical SHES NOT TYPICAL: SHE CAN SEE GHOSTS (=AUTISTIC CODED) AND AS SEEN BY HER LACK OF UNDERSTANDING SOCIAL CUES AND HER LACK OF FILTER (HOW SHE KEEPS IT 100 PERCENT REAL) (and when she’s cornered into ‘lying’ to someone or herself it’s actually her going mute and the other person fills in the gaps OR its a total misunderstanding, but she never lies) and shes so honest to the point of being a jackass (like when she honestly told ‘filly pink’ what she thought about her style and on THAT note matsuki is autistic too) ugh and the ying yang aesthetic at the very end with okko and matsuki, how it showed their backs looking towards a bright future..... and how the both of them are dealing with grief and loss but in different ways due to privilege and how privilege plays a role in growth and the bias of independent success: when matsuki does something genius, she doesnt respond kinda like how okko doesnt respond when she hears something she knows isnt true; how when the chef makes amazing meals he’s humble about it, saying it was because of the community  “youre a genius” “no, it was all a joint effort”

the final scene is so beautiful, i went to check with the colors and

1) the black / white hair dynamic AAA (i know im repeating myself bUT)

2) the red / yellow kimonos are perfectly complemented with the purple flowers

[celticcrossanon]

I’m so sorry for the rant. I just needed to clear my head and got compelled to do it in your inbox. 🙇🏾‍♀️

Not a question just some thoughts. Sorry I’m spamming you so much. I just read your latest reading about the wanna be“tour” and all I can do is SMH. I think to some extent we saw this coming but they are dialing it up and expanding. Conscious humans would’ve called it quits by now. The Remembrance Day pap walk, Going to elementary schools, “donations”, writing letters like they are world leaders, etc. On one hand I can’t see this becoming much of a “thing”. I don’t think MM and Jarry will go on doing this for long unless they can get some Hollywood to pay attention and acknowledge them. I think another reason with the more public European Royals work so well in their media is because their countries are relatively small, like California and Texas are on the large side in comparison, am I right? So much can happen on one side of the country that I only hear of thanks to friends back in California. I can’t see these two visiting any farm in Montana as “royals” if ever. They got a Clinton and Perhaps more big names and “engagement” is to come (oh god 🤦🏾‍♀️) I’m sure they and the sugars are just loving it but it all looks, sounds and feels so incrediblly STUPID & ABSOLUTELY VAPID AND INSULTING. etc etc. I cannot stand entitled people and the fact that these two cut off, trashed, and demand from their own families for a fleeting moment in the spotlight is unfathomable. That’s a testimony to how strong narcissistic delusions can be. It must be the best high I could ever ask for. 🖤Im new to “Royal Watching” if you can call what I do ‘that’, so I don’t really care about all the other indiscretions. I don’t trust the media and I think it’s just the BRF turn in the hot sun to catch hell. See Andrew, see the Clintons and all the others. Whatever drama is going on with Charles, see the rest of big business. I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor and I still study on the disorder. Now here I am watching these two who make my skin craw, this train needs to SPEED UP . I think I’m just looking for a bit of JUSTICE in the world right now. Between this administration, COVID, my job and all my other drama (I’m sure we all have some, if not BLESS YOU and pass it on 🥺) I’m flabbergasted and a little sick in my stomach at watching yet another set of people be able to walk through life seemingly so unbothered. It’s like the world is closing in and I’m suffocating. 🖤Like, your telling me that just because he was born a Prince and she married him and found a way to have children they get to get away with all of this?. The entitlement, the lies, the forced Wokery, using heavy and important subjects like mental health and racism for a PR boost all just to get a⭐️ on the Hollywood walk of Fame? For a couple of royals they sure know how to dump cold water on ya, they are the epitome of LIFE ISNT FAIR. And I’m sure that all depends on perspective, for example; their sugars who must be going diabetic RN. THEY think they have suffered as well. Look at the Cambridge’s who have not put a foot out of place yet have to deal with these tantrums from all over their family. All families have drama and I can see how the Harkles and the rest could be a payback of the Firm and family as a whole. The Queen covered so much and never really saw that Henry and Andrew and god knows who else were set straight. Look what having so much privilege can do. But is there a limit, anywhere?🖤

🖤Anyways, another thought I had was, this could be the end for any thought of reunion. This Narcissist has worked her magic and this clueless tone deaf fool has really gone and done it. I was driving and I thought of Prince William and the entire remaining Windsors & Mountbatten Windsor’s and the whole Aristocracy cutting the Harkles off entirely because the BRF called a wrap (or had to) and the UK became a Republic after Her Majesty. MM get the privlage in her narcissistic head that she’s the last ever to become a Duchess, Cathrine wouldn’t become the Princess of Wales and it all came down in part because of her and Henry’s actions. Yes Andrew and whoever else aren’t helping but these two made it exceptionally difficult. I think they would take pride in that especially publicly but only when they are praised for it. I think the Cambridge’s would have an easier time with moving on with their family, free to live as they please with no pressure to serve the public. Cathrine can be “lazy”, sleep in, & raise her kids and Wills is free to🖕 the paps who would surely still follow them. A La “where are they now”. The two that would have it the worse are the Harkles as they last bit of what they had to separate them from the rest of Hollywood is gone, no more Royal sheen but they don’t have much now. It would be stupid to use the titles after an abolished monarchy but they’d do it and expose themselves further.🖤 If you made it this far, one last thing. I got cut off while driving. That’s not unusual in this Miami traffic and usually i ignore it but with my mental state I couldn’t help but to compare. it was a packed road and I just really wanted to know where the heck the fire was. Why did this person need to rush so much on a busy road that no one else mattered even though we all have somewhere to go? That’s how I feel about the Harkles. What’s the point, where are they going? They went to New England for Christ sake to play faux royalty, in more trashy outfits might I add. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I guess I do have a question, DOES THE WORLD REALLY BELONG TO THOSE WHO JUST Get UP AND TAKE IT?

Thanks for humoring me and providing this space. ✌🏾

Note: My apologies for this very long post, everyone. I can't put a page break in and the writer needs to let it all out. I am sure a lot of you will be feeling somewhat similar to them.

Reply under the cut, so this is not any longer

Hi april14vc,

You are welcome to rant here.

It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment and it is all becoming a bit much to handle, as there is no relief anywhere. Is there something fun and relaxing that you can do for you sometime today, just to have a break from it all? I feel like you need to tune out for a bit and do something that is just for you.

I am so sorry that you suffered from narcissistic abuse, and so glad that you survived this. I think the Harkle shenanigans must hurt you in a more personal way than those of us who have never suffered under a narcissist. It is very hard to watch the Harkles seemingly get away with all their entitled abuse without any form of justice coming for them.

I think the Harkles are suffering. They usually are unable to get any sort of attention from the media unless they pay for it, and even then they don't trend - it is a 'blink and you miss it' situation. Look at what happened with Meghan's 40 for 40 program - it was dead in the water before the day was over, and she spent a fortune on PR for that. Compare that to the natural (not paid for) hype that surrounds anything that the BRF does, especially the Cambridges or HMTQ. That hype and attention is what Meghan wants, and she is not getting it.

What the Harkles are getting, and what they hate, is mockery. Look at the response to their Times 100 cover. Look at the comments on this pseudo-royal tour. They are a walking joke, and no narcissist would like that. They tried to cull all negative press while they were members of the BRF, were unsuccessful in stemming all of it, and now have no clout at all to stop any negative media attention. The Harkles may live in a delusion of success, but to the vast majority of people they are no more than very risible z-list celebrities.

The Harkles also have serious money troubles. They may be ignoring them, but those debts will have to be paid, one way or another.

What we are seeing now is the slow slide of the Harkles into obscurity, and their desperate attempts to reverse the process, which never work. They are no more popular and wanted now than they were at the time of Megxit, and in fact their popularity has declined since those days. They may look like they are winning, but it is all an illusion, caused by the amounts of money they are prepared to pay to give the illusion of wealth and star-quality celebrity. The paid for events happen, and then nothing. The paid for PR happens, and then nothing. Their slide downwards continues, and nothing that they do is reversing it.

Yes, at the moment they are on a high and beaming put of every report on their activities. Wait a week and then see where they are. This is like the Oprah interview all over again.

My next reading is going to be on the consequences of this pseudo-royal tour for the Harkles, so maybe there will be some justice for you there.

Edited to add: As for taking down the monarchy, I can't see that happening. For starters, the British government would have to put the matter to the people for a vote, and even if they are insane enough to do that, I can't see the British public voting to remove a beloved Queen because of the antics of two people who are despised that that country. The logistics of replacing the monarchy are also staggering - you have to rework the entire government of not just Great Britain, but of all the commonwealth realms who have HMTQ as Head of State, and that is not an easy task or a light undertaking. In addition, those Commonwealth Realms can keep HM as their head of state even if she is ejected by the British people (which would never happen, but I am stretching the bounds of probability here). After HMTQ comes Charles, who will have a short reign simply because of his age and health, and then William will be king, and he is also loved by the British public. I just can not see all that thrown away for the Harkles, who are rightly hated by the British public.