#where it did&its just like. never gonna plateau lmao.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[thephantomporg84]

[REDACTED] be complaining reg. the reactions of having "placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida" while having the gall of "It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter" & "Who cares? It’s fictional geography, you idiots." Feels a bit like failing World-Building 101. I mean, Red Grave based on London would also be a callback to Dante's early concept of being a Brit.

Someone already sent me the whole post of hers that I’m pretty sure you’re referring to lmao. I’m in a particularly cunty but pleasant mood rn, and analysis is kind of my thing, so lets’s break it down, shall we?

Maybe someone can send this her way and… learn that tiny little brain of hers a thing. 😉

It’s fictional geography called world building, you idiots Karen after the cut:

‘I love how a number of shitheels have screeched amongst themselves on this hellsite about how I had placed the cultist island Fortuna off the coast of Florida or somewhere around the Gulf US states (re: the fanfic & project link in my header), whining that it should’ve been in Europe, namely Italy.’

An admission to stalking profiles is not exactly the best way to start a self-righteous rant or advertise your… magnum opus, but go off, I guess.

‘Not only that, but they whined about “plotholes and inconsistencies” without elaborating on what the latter are. The asshole who made the rant was annoyed when I used a poem as a spell in the story (“if I heard that, I’d turn off my PS4.”), but I’m sure she didn’t bitch about the cutscene before the last Agnus boss fight in DMC4.’

Like the movie The Room (2003), it’s just easier to say “all of it” is bad because “all of it” contains plotholes and is inconsistent in tone, has terrible half-baked ideas and plot threads that remain unresolved and/or do nothing to further the plot, is rife with poor + inconsistent characterization, has a lack of any knowledge how the medium it exists in is made, and in general makes me wonder how much pottery enamel you’ve been huffing to think any of this was a good idea. Howeverrrr, in contrast to you, Tommy Wiseau is kind of odd and weirdly charming both in general and about his terrible movie — he’s found glory and success in its terribleness. You, in contrast, remain a miserable cunt with delusions of grandeur.

Dante and Agnus’ Shakespeare bit is actually a pretty well known trope called Ham-to-Ham Combat. Dante and Agnus are both ridiculous Large Hams in DMC4, and when two Large Hams meet, in general, they are likely gonna try to ‘out-over dramatic’ each other. This can lead to a scene becoming either really funny or really corny (or both) really fast. If things go too far — and they do, in this case — the scene can become a Hormel Event Horizon.

‘…but they LOVE the plotholes & inconsistencies if Capcom makes the latter, and writes a terrible story! And Crapcom’s canon for DMC is as straight as a paperclip or a dog’s hind leg. Hypocritical pricks.’

Subjective opinion is not, and never will be, objective fact. People are, as of when I checked again in the last ~5 minutes or so, absolutely able to enjoy whatever media they want regardless of what the general consensus on the quality of that media is.

As an example, I enjoy The Room (2003) despite its terribleness and it never fails to make me laugh, while your magnum opus makes me want to huff pottery enamel so the pain will stop despite you thinking it is the work of an idiot savant.

‘They were also mad that I wrote Dante as a wiseguy who is a little more low-key about it due to the circumstances— instead of being a pathetic manchild airhead that tries too hard.’

You didn’t write Dante.

You wrote Reboot!Donte — a fucking terribly out of character version of him, at that.

‘I was primarily concerned about moving the story along. I didn’t care about where a fictional island is supposed to go.’

You literally had one (1) job, Karen.

‘…Meanwhile, not a single character in DMC4 had an Italian accent, so uh, why should I give a flying fuck where I put it?’

Haven’t you been like… shitting on the DMC staff… for terrible writing… this enti— You know what? You’re obvs way too dumb to notice that contradiction, so I’ll let it slide.

Just… a word of advice, if I may? Don’t ever watch dub TV shows. That last brain cell would fuckin’ just burst all over your carpet.

(Actually, don’t watch subtitled shows either. An extremely popular anime that was set in Italy just wrapped and all the characters — le gasp! — spoke fucking Japanese. You would shit.)

‘I wasn’t paid to write any of what I wrote, but be my guest & send a PM if you want to throw money at me. By all means, do that.’

Oh, thank fuck, because they would have been ripped off, big time.

[ btw, you sound p. jealous of people that write/do creative work/commissions for ko-fi/payment tho. Not a good look tbbh. If it’s any consolation, though, I don’t get paid for making fun of you and/or analyzing your dumb bullshit, either. :( ]

‘The pricks at Capcom didn’t even bother giving us a proper DMC4 and it was a half-assed game, with the latter half being hasty filler material. The “special edition” they coughed up in 2015 was just glorified overpriced DLC.’

Ya know, you gotta be pretty far up your own ass to think this much of your opinion. And I’m saying this as a person that’s pretty far up her own ass like 85% of the time.

‘And another thing, Redgrave City in DMC5 seems to be in England, yet no survivors speak with English accents or slang/dialects.’

Pretty sure no survivors had speaking roles.

If you played the game you’d know this.

‘Meanwhile, Dante and Vergil had lived there when they were kids (until age 8), but they both have ordinary American or Canadian accents. Furthermore, how did the twins make it to the USA or Canada? According to the little booklet in the DMC1 game case, Dante’s office is in modern America.’

You know that invoking the imagery of a specific place without naming your location is normal and standard practice, right? Overwatch even does this (For Ex: Byōdō-in (平等院), Uji, Kyoto Prefecture, Japan is the inspiration for Hanamura, Château de Duingt, Duingt, France for Château Guillard, etc.)

Furthermore, you know the original DMC was a rejected first draft of Resident Evil 4, right? This is what retcon is for. You at least know what retcon is, right?

‘…That information isn’t very important, but I’m bringing it up to illustrate a point that being a fucking pedant about geography in a fantasy game is idiotic, even if the setting is akin to modern Earth.’

So is freaking the fuck out and sending death threats over a fantasy game but you didn’t let that stop you either lmfao.

It’s actually super important to establish your scenery and the way your world operates, especially in a written work in which readers are dependent on your vision and your descriptions, and if you were a decent writer, you’d know this.

‘It’s the story & the way it’s told that should fucking matter.’

YOU HAD ONE (1) JOB, KAREN.

‘What US states are the Arklay Mountains located in?’

General description puts them in the U.S. Midwest. Raccoon City itself is stated to have a population of ~100,000 at the time of outbreak, and the only city in the Midwest that matches that population in 1998 is Springfield, Missouri, with a pop. of ~110,000.

Springfield is on the Springfield Plateau of the Ozarks region of SW Missouri. So they’re part of the Ozark Mountains.

This all took less than ~3 minutes to google, btw.

‘Where is “Zanzibar Land?”’

I actually just wrote a comprehensive answer to an ask a few weeks ago about this. It’s actually stated to be in Tselinoyarsk (Целиноярск), the (fictional) area of the former USSR in which Big Boss carried out the Virtuous Mission/Operation Snake Eater in 1964. Tselinoyarsk itself is heavily implied to consist of parts of Kyrgyzstan and/or Tajikistan. If you played MGS3 you’d know how important the setting and the varied environments/climates are to the game mechan-

oh yeah wait you believe in segregation of story and gameplay mechanics. I forget you’re completely tone deaf sometimes lmao.

How far is ‘Salem’s Lot or Derry from Bangor? Who cares?’

Stephen King does, quite a bit. He even has a map on his website of ‘his’ fictional version of Maine:

My disappointment is immeasurable, Karen.

[saranel]

Tagging @mags-duranb, who asked (thank you for the interest btw, it was super sweet. Also, I love your art <3333) :)  I was gonna make a post anyway, but I wanted it to be a timeline photoset hence why I’m not replying directly.

I thought it was about time I gave you guys a nice long update on the purrito, since we have now officially reached 2 months of age as of yesterday!

To answer the requester’s question, SHE is doing just fine xD  That’s right, when we visited the vet about a week ago for the second round of shots, we got visible proof (or rather lack thereof) that we have a little girl in our hands.  This was only a couple of days before I made an insta post announcing the official name, because of course it was. Way to embarass me, kiddo.

So I’d like to introduce you all to Buffy, because hello, so dang pretty, look at that last pic that was taken only yesterday, and she’s also pretty fearless and resourceful, though not necessarily highly intelligent xD  Not a vampire slayer, but an ankle slayer for sure.  I generally post updates on her every couple of days on instagram.

Oh, and, just as a final note on the whole name thing, yes, we still call her purrito from time to time, as well as a thousand other nicknames ;) 

So! On to the update (and an extra... suprise?¿¿??) below the cut:

Buffy’s issues with food have gotten a lot better.  She used to be vicious about meals, meowing and pleading hours before her feeding time.  At first we thought we were perhaps feeding her too little, so we followed the general advice everyone gives re: how much to feed kittens, which is to say we just let her eat her fill.  She did not stop until her belly was so distended I had to physically drag her bowl away.  So we decided to slowly increase her intake whenever we saw she started to get skinny.  Which, given her Longcat status, was so. damn. OFTEN.  Seriously, if she looks malnourished in some pics, I assure you she’s not.  She just grows and grows like a damn weed.

Lately, however, since her weight has reached a healthy plateau, she’s gotten much better about food.  No screaming, no scratching, and she doesn’t really complain before feeding time anymore.  She still follows us whenever we dare visit the kitchen, but hey, it could be worse xD

Something I’ve never mentioned here is that when we first found her, her whiskers were very short and stubby, which we originally attributed to her being very young.  But eventually, we noticed that not only were her brow whiskers much longer, there was a lone whisker next to the stubby ones that was regular-sized, and the shorter ones looked almost... manually cut, if that wakes sense.  A bit of research led us to find out that sometimes, littermates may do this to a runt (bite them off) when they’re competing for mom’s milk, which... not only makes my heart ache for our little buddy, it starts to put her whole attitude toward food into perspective.

Long story short, we were prepared for the possibility that she may forever have issues with food, but she’s been improving constantly.

Other than the food issue, Buffy has grown into a happy, healthy kitty :) She’s up to date on her shots, and we took her to the vet only last week where we got nothing but good news.  

She’s very attached to us, especially me since I work from home and basically see her all day, and though she doesn’t complain and yowl when she’s left alone, she is super cuddly when we return home.  

Given her age, she’s incredibly playful to the point that we get more exhausted playing with her than she does xD She likes climbing all over the place and exploring everything within reach, always looking for new ‘lairs’ and stuffing her butt into every nook and cranny, she loves to chew on cables (which has led us to do some highly creative concealing) and often engages in what we call ‘Crab Dancing’ when she gets excited/territorial during playtime:

( I *****MAY***** have edited this.  Slightly.  For my own amusement.  It’s kinda soporific if you stare at it for too long)

We were glad to see she takes to new (human) acquaintances very well, and she hasn’t (yet) started wreaking havoc in our apartment.  She, has, however,  gotten very bitey during playtime, and it’s ALWAYS playtime, so we’re trying to encourage her to bite on toys instead of our fingers: it’s a sloooooooooow process.  There’s also the possibility that she’s teething a bit early so she’s just constantly looking for relief.  We’ve bought her a few special chew toys that should arrive shortly, and hopefully they’ll help.  Even if it’s still early for her, hey, new toys, amirite? xD

Still, she never lashes out to us in anger/anxiety, not even when we gave her a bath where she was visibly distressed (yes, I know it’s not necessary for cats, but we’d never cleaned her with anything but pet wipes since we rescued her; she needed at least one) and yet she never tried to scratch or bite us.  TL;DR she’s mischievous, but not aggressive outside of playtime.

She’s super long for her age and will most likely be a pretty long kitty when she reaches maturity.  Seriously, y’all, Longcat 2.0:

( USB stick for size comparison, lol )

I’m still bummed my theory that she was part Van doesn’t seem to be true (in my defense, she has something very similar to the characteristic Van spot on her nape!), but hey, less shedding xD She also has a permanent bald spot on her spine now (as we knew she would), where the vet had given her that shot that saved her life back when she got sick.

She’s a sweet little doofus, who thinks she’s really a parrot and likes to perch on our shoulder, and meows the whole time I’m in the kitchen because how dare someone in this household eat when she’s not eating too, and when I ignore her grey-green supplicating eyes she just curls up over my foot while I wash the dishes, and she constantly gets tangled up in our legs and waits for us behind closed doors, and she’s a friggin’ Duracell battery who does.not.tire, and she  tosses half the litter out when she digs, and she loves to take naps with us cuddled right over our chests so our heartbeat can lull her to sleep, and we love her.

Here’s to the next two months :)

Size comparison below, using my hand in both pics.  Then and now :)

Addendum:

Edit: You can keep on reading, but the story has a sad ending, unfortunately :(  

The above was the post I had prepared and was going to post yesterday on Buffy’s 2 month ‘birthday,’ so I’ve left it intact.  However, I would be remiss if I didn’t add this latest development:

For a while now, we’ve been discussing how to deal with Buffy’s inexhaustible energy levels, because we do have other responsibilities, all of whom also require a good night’s sleep, which as you may imagine, has been a bit rare lately.  There’s this saying that the only one who can keep up with a kitten is another kitten, but we were very reluctant to adopt another one, since we’re currently dealing with an imminent move and we weren’t sure if we could even afford it.

Well...................

I found and rescued Buffy.  My partner found and rescued this little guy yesterday:

Five things here:

1) NO THIS WAS NOT PLANNED THIS IS SO BEYOND UNPLANNED I’M WFSJKLSDFJSKDHFSDKJ

2) MY PARTNER DIDN’T EVEN FIND HIM IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD HE WAS VISITING HIS MOM ASJKFDHLSADGHFDDFAS

3) WE SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW IF WE’RE KEEPING HIM.  SERIOUSLY.L

4) YEAH I KNOW YOU CAN’T REALLY SEE MUCH LMAO EVEN HIS WHISKERS ARE BLACK JFC BUT I DIDN’T WANNA SCARE HIM SO I DIDN’T USE FLASH

5) 31 FUCKIN YEARS WITH NO KITTENS AND NOW TWQO, TWO KITTENS WTFFFFFFFF ITS RAINING KITTENS PRAISE BE TO BASTET i guess?? wtffffffffff

*breathes into a paper bag*

I’m going to be even more reluctant to make any grand claims than I was when we found Buffy, because this little dude (this one is a dude, indeed) is in pretty bad shape.  Though she’d been abandoned, Buffy was very clean and hale when we found her, even if she was a bit small and underfed.  

This one though... poor little soot sprite is all skin and bones, he was flea-ridden until we took him to the vet, he’s filthy, he’s terrified and has a bum leg from some sort of accident.  We didn’t even have a plan yesterday when my partner found him, but we figured since we had a lot of leftover milk powder and kitten pate from Buffy, we might as well feed up this little orphan. 

It took some coaxing with a syringe, but he got a bit of milk down which got his appetite going and we were able to feed him some pate.  He actually ate a fair bit, which is encouraging.  We know for a fact he was abandoned by his mom, btw, she’s still roaming around the neighborhood but refusing to tend to him since he’s already older than 4 weeks (maybe 1,5 month old max).  Just two weeks younger than Buffy.  After he got some food down, we took him to our vet, who was reserved but cautiously optimistic even for the leg.  He made us no promises, of course, and he advised we prepare ourselves for the possibility that he might not make it.

We’ve now had him for just under a day and he’s been improving.  He was very scared at first, hissy when I went near him, and the first time I fed him at home, the new environment had stressed him out to the point that I had to use a syringe again to get him to eat.  And yeah, we’ve had to keep him isolated ofc to protect Buffy (and him, omg, she’s literally twice his size in weight, no exaggeration, and most likely a social dunce with other kittes, she would destroy him).  I’ll be able to give him a bath tomorrow afternoon after the 48hr clock on the flea medicine runs out, which is yet another reason we had to isolate him.  Today, he’s been getting less and less reserved around me and he hasn’t needed to be force fed once, he’s been downing pate like no-one’s business.  I weighed him earlier and found he’d gained about 40-50 grams, a number I offer cautiously as both weighings at the vet and today aren’t entirely accurate, because squirmy kitty.  Still, he’s gained weight, even if only a little.   

Buffy can tell something’s up, since we basically had to move her litterbox and feeding area and haven’t let her in that room since.  It’s been... an adjustment xD But she bounces back admirably fast, she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the change; she’s just curious to discover what we’re hiding from her, obviously.  She’s probably heard him meowing, too.

We honestly have no clue what we’ll do with him.  Taking it one day at a time.  He might not make it at all, and even if he does, he may never get along with Buffy, in which case we’ll have to give him away for both their sakes.  I’m not gonna lie, money is a concern.  Research tells me at their age and beyond the cost isn’t prohibiting, not even double that of a single cat.  So if he doesn’t require any costly meds, we can afford him, especially since Buffy can now eat dry food (and so will he in a couple of weeks).  This, again, is all hinging on a) him not having any serious, contagious illnesses, and b) him and Buffy getting along.  In the long run, we know it would be way better for Buffy to have a companion to play and cuddle with, but we have to be realistic and prepare for the worst for now.

Soot sprite is a little cutie, he has the softest, most plaintive meow and there’s even hope for his little leg down the road (though honestly, that’s the last thing that concerns us; even in his current state, he’s perfectly mobile).  His eyes, too, should get better with time if he grows healthier. 

SO WE’LL SEE.  RN I am beyond stressed and reserved, but also kinda hopeful. *sigh*  

[priceskneecaps]

I was tagged by @swappednames and @thejohnnybond to list some albums i’ve been grooving to lately (thanks guys! <3 <3 <3 <3)

this is an unusual batch lmao

L.A. Woman by The Doors - If I had a license and a car this would probably be the only thing i would listen to on the road, especially at night. If you’ve never listened to The Doors before I would say this is a pretty safe starting point. The whole vibe is very suave with a good mixture of just plain dirt. Plus Jim Morrison’s lyrics read more like poetry, which kills me. Favorite tracks include L’America, Hyacinth House, The WASP (Texas Radio and The Big Beat), and of course Riders On The Storm is a classick. 

Mechanical Bull by Kings of Leon - So fun fact i HATED kings of leon for the majority of my life until like last year. Idk what it is about this specific album but i find myself coming back to it a lot. I think it has a good variety of song types and its good to just put on and chill out to. Favorite tracks include Supersoaker, Rock City, Temple, Family Tree, and On The Chin.

Patsy Cilne’s Greatest Hits by Patsy Cline - Lmao Patsy is God. Her stuff just puts me in a good head space, and this is another good road trip album. Its also good for pretending like ur in a movie :))) Favorite tracks include Sweet Dreams (Of You), I Fall To Pieces, Strange, and She’s Got You. 

MTV Unplugged in New York by Nirvana - Listen, I know. I know i’m a poser grunge wannabe. You dont have to tell me bc i KNOW. but listen...this unplugged session is famous for DAMN GOOD REASON. If you can, I recommend watching the session but listening to the album is fine too. Hearing the dynamics between the band and Kurt interacting with the audience is priceless. Plus his vocals are raw to the extreme and if you’re a fan of rough/ blowtorch sounding vocals then this is right up your ally. Not gonna lie i get a little teary eyed towards the end :((. Favorite tracks include The Man Who Sold The World (david bowie cover), Polly, On A Plain, Plateau (meat puppets cover), All Apologies, and Where Did You Sleep Last Night. 

Literally everyone i know on here has been tagged so im gonna cop out and say i tag anyone who wants to do this :))))))) 

[thegeminisage]

TODAY’S ZELDABLOGGING, which has ENDGAME SPOILERS (yes i beat it):

all right i got about ~3 hours to get my shield and beat zelda lets fucking do this

the temple of time music is breaking my heart

this is one place where i'm mostly ok with them not using a classic tune for it tbh

like this music has so much grief and tranquility

i used to think the plateau was SO huge and really it's almost miniscule

i know it's a bit of a waste of time but i'm making the final trek on foot, no fast travel, temple of time to the castle

So Many Guardians

i can fight them now but only if theyre in the right place too close or far away and i cant do it

on a side note: yesterday (?) i found a beautiful pink spring i took many pictures of

today i saw that glowing spot on the map and realized i'd never figured out what it was!

dropped a pin bc i was curious, and it's the pink spring

temptation to warp over, check it out, and warp back: astronomical

but i'm on both a mission and a time limit, so it'll have to wait

ok. ok. im Here. its Time. lets go. shield first. that is My Shield, and the stalnox Cannot have it

there's a door i can't figure out how to open :/

ah, i see the stalnox

but i want that door!

google isn't helping me so i guess i have to leave it??

ok, all abilities fully charged, 3 fairies, plenty of food. i can do this. i almost killed one by accident once. that is MY SHIELD.

oh my god its got SWORDS stuck all in it jesus FUCK

my first shot did a lot of damage! but im wearing the atk+ armor which i can't keep on, it's a glass cannon

oh my god that was so EASY?

i kicked its ASS LMAO

YESSSS THERES MY SHIELD OH YES

holy shit when my swoprd strikes something in here it sounds like cannon fire! steady glowing too

i don't think there's one right way to go here so i'm gonna try to explore as much as i can

i've been spoiled by the fact that zelda has a diary laying out somehwere so i wanna find it for myself

ohhh the remains of the red carpet in here

i'm actually next to the tower i climed before, apparently i was just shy of exploring all there was to see up there...i'll see if i can have another look

lol i decide that and it IMMEDIATELY begins with the lightning storm

i found it!!! oh god was this her bedroom ;_;

AAAH SHE TALKS ABOUT LINK

he's quiet and persostent and can't resist a good meal

and it talks about why he never speaks ;_;

I LOVE THIS HE HAS A PERSONALITY!!!!

omg she even talks about her mother ;_;

A WOMAN NOT OF THIS EARTH

the goddess hylia or was it fi?? oh my god.......

WORTH IT!!!

found the guard chambers ;_; this all hurts my heart, so much was just Lost

oh my god no THE BLOOD MOON...

huh. no cutscene here

honestly fighting my way thru moblins in hyrule castle...haha man

ohhhh the library ): i bet zelda loved it here

oh my god they even had docks under the castle!!!

oh NO i found the king's journal

he hated being cruel to her and was gonna be kind when she got back but instead the last time they really saw each other they were fighting!!!

still doesn't give him an excuse tbh but i can find a SLIVER of sympathy now

okay so........now i've explored all the insides. i go out?? i.......fight ?????

oooohh god im scared again ))):

oh shit oh Shit i found it oh god

im looking up a walkthru to read after the fight starts i dont need any more surprises

ZELDA?

OH MY GOD HE'S DISGUSTING HE'S SPIDER LIKE I AM SHRIEKING WHY IS IT ALWAYS SPIDERS

YEAAHH BOY HALF HEALTH FUCK YOU GANON

I HAVE COURAGE!!!!

ooh he has guardian weapons

ok yes walkthru

GOD LMAO if you dont free the divine beasts you have to fight the minibosses here

oh god this is gonna be tough

haha "guardian weapons will break your shield" NOT MY SHIELD

i mean yes it can break but its Highly durable and replacements can be made if it does

OH GOD HE'S GROSS HE'S BUGLIKE WHY WHY

GANON THE MAN WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER

i mean i know. they had us fight a manlike thing in ss AND tp but. i miss him

oooh down to 25%

YES FUCK THERE HE GOES

eeeew

im ready for phase 2 baby

there's gotta be one right there ALWAYS is

YES here we go

AAAH I GOT THE BOW OF LIGHT

oh no i dont have epona though just a different horse im sad i should have left her out

BUT HE LOOKS JUST LIKE GANON THAT I KNOW

OH MY GOD THE FINAL BOSS MUSIC IS THE TRAILER MUSIC

THE MAIN THEME AT LEAST

WE'RE ON HYRULE FIELD NEVER DID I SUSPECT THIS WOULD BE OUR BATTLEGROUND

I DID IT!!!!

ZELDA

BEAUTIFUL SWEET YOUNG BRAVE ZELDA WITH HER MUDSTAINED DRESS

oh my g o d

"may i ask, do you really remember me"

oh my god...oh my god

ANSWER HER?

AND NOW CREDITS? IM DYING

ohhh the credits showed a bit of everybody and despite myself when they played the trailer song and showed the old man/the plateau i welled up we've come so far

HEY THERE'S SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S NAME HEYYYYYYYY

awww that was the last song of the trailer

A STINGER

THANK GOD

ohh my god 

IF THE SPIRITS OF THE CHAMPIONS AND THE OLD MAN WATCHING LINK AND ZELDA WEREN'T AN OOT NOD....

OH MY GOD ONE MORE SECOND AND ZELDA COULD HAVE MET EYES WITH HER FATHER

jesus christ, old man disappeared last too, my HEART

theyre gonna restore hyrule!! they're gonna travel together again!!

okay i GOTTA load my file and see what's what

awww it's the one i saved right before the battle i thought there was post-game content...?

it does have a little star next to it tho

ah well

that was.......incredible

and i cried

so there's that

man!!!!! im so, so glad

what a good game

honest crit: no, it wasn't PERFECT

i could have stood more classic tunes to punch me in the feels more often and give us more of that old #aesthetic since they changed SO much about everything else - at times it didn't even quite feel like a zelda game, though the reminders that it WAS were always heartbreaking and wonderful

also maybe this was just my playstyle but i feel like there could have been more than just the four dungeons since they were so short...i know the dungeon-y puzzle stuff was spread all around with koroks and shrines, but is One big dungeon too much to ask? even hyrule castle had 1000 ways you could have gotten through

could have stood a little more acknowledgement of who you were and what you were doing as the divine beasts started waking up? like from npcs and shit, not even for Glory or whatever but just because the story felt reeeeeeally spread out, even with the memories scattered everywhere

and again a little bias here but some of the battles once you began getting Up There were a little TOO fake-difficult...i saw white bokoblins in old old places so i know it has to do with You, not your location, and i could have lived w/o it tbh

would have loved some form of new game + or postgame content, but maybe i'm just sad bc i misunderstood a spoiler or w/e it was that happened

things i loved:

the music

the cinematics, holy shit

the voice acting

when they DID use classic tunes it was to INCREDIBLE effect, same with the castle style, the ruins, even the nostalgic armor

obviously the open world gameplay was delightful and addicting, i literally couldn't get enough

the final boss battle wasn't too hard but VERY climactic and wonderful, just difficult Enough - could have maybe been a BIT harder but then i did start with him at half health!!

the dungeons, while there weren't enough of them, were EXTREMELY cool, i felt DWARFED by those beasts, after i saw the first one i never called them jaegers again

actually kind of liked the weapon durability thing bc then i could just pick them up during combat when i was running low and steal them or fight with them, throw them, etc

did not like the BOW durability, all my bows broke VERY quickly, that and running out of arrows always was totally urgh...even with my weapons inventory upgraded i STILL couldn't hold all the cool ones the game threw at me, it needed to be like that for players that favored the bow - more of them that were OP, more arrows, etc

anyway i could go on and on but

i gotta sleep, and

i'm so happy zelda is free

it would have been so cool to have her as a companion in post-game, Somehow

or at least see her reunion with all those who missed her

or see link get his memories back

it ended a bit too soon but it was beautiful and i loved it

goodnight

[thegeminisage]

more botw blogging, SUPER spoilery

this is a real long post sorry normally i break these up and this time i didn’t

and finally, off we go to a new province

this time im making its tower my first stop, since i can see it from here

i tried to paraglide across the river but i didn't have enough height so i landed on the cliffside and ITS RAINING!!!!! for fucks sake

i cant believe this game actually got me to hate rain..........

not only that but when i died in the water it didn't reload me back to where i started to glide from but a bit of cliff i stood on lol so #struggles right from the first minute

rain for the next 3 hours.......and i gotta climb it in the rain....jesus

i guess i could fast travel but i'd have to walk all the way back there :/

hmm. maybe the gae's throwing me the rain on purpose. an npc mentioned this river was notoriously difficult to cross :///

yep as soon as i turned away: it cleared. Great

well i see some bridge-like things further downstream i guess i'll check that out

lol jk i managed to glide across a different part and climb

like i saw my forecast change but then it changed back to sun so w/e i'll take it im up here now

aaaaah i can see so many cool things from here!!!!! i cant wait to explore them all!!!! that #new province feel

i hate like, feeling obligated to track down every last bit of stuff in the old ones when you're seeing new exciting stuff

but i love the feel of getting to a new one and not even knowing which cool thing to check out first

ohhh my god lol there's a big-ass bokoblin camp on the way to the tower i think i see a moblin but im not sure

aaaand im dead

at least there werernt any moblins!

tbh it isnt a difficult camp i just wasnt vigilant about healing

me every time i see something new: what the Fuck is that!?

in this case it was an ice wizzrobe which made it snow EVERYWHERE oh my god

That Was Difficult

if i didn't have my fire arrows and lynel bow it would have taken way longer

i died again!!!

those weird pattern bokoblins have SO much attack power ):

come on i have to clear out the camp AGAIN? and kill the wizzrobe?

naw dude i am skipping this nonsense i am going straight up the fucking cliff

HA i sniped them from above >:3

w

there's a zora on top of this tower!!!!!!!

omg poor thing he can't get back down i wish i could carry him on my paraglider

man i love the tower cutscenes and music and the way they unfold it's so cool

BIG SHINY NEW PROVINCE YYYYEAH!!!!

oh hey i found another zora down near these bridges

they all want me to go see their prince haha noooo i have too much to explore!!!

oooh it's so easy to get all turned around on these bridge thingies

man i love this province it's SO pretty

ah i found a goron on a sandbar!! how did you get out here with all this water...

nooo the blood moon again i knew it was coming the music has been funny all night >:(

lol jk the music faked me out its 2am and i warped to the stable for nothing (i was trying to get that one dude's reaction)

i came back and did the shrine and found another zora!! lol they all really want me to go see that dude

there's a thing i need to climb but ugh rain

while i was bored i chopped grass and attached octo balloons to things

now i am in the wetlands which are AWFUL to walk through i can practically feel the mud squishing between my toes and i want to die lmao

there are horses here!! i miss mine ):

ive done enough shrines now to get another upgrade but i dont feel like doing all that backtracking blegh

oh noooo i see a guardian out here, a moving one ;_;

ah it's been awhile since i failed to fight the still ones on the plateau...i wonder what the start screen meant by "the right tools" ive got a lot of damn tools!! did they mean arrows??

lol yet another zora telling me to meet with the prince.........dude

this prince must be either desperate or spoiled

uh

okay maybe its a glitch but i think?? i see?? a flying island in the distance? What The Fuck

wait no it looks kind of like a ship or giant bird??

my pins don't stick to it, it's definitely moving around

jesus fuck

AHAHAH FUCK THE GUARDIAN SAW ME

HAD TO TAKE REFUSE IN THE FUCKING SHRINE

jesus christ i hate those things!!!! you can't kill them!!!!!!!

NO oh my god there's a hinox over here too

why this Why This

lol the hinox fighting music is giving me trauma flashbacks

actually that wasnt so bad with a defense elixir on

maybe it's just me but this province feels kinda small? i feel like i could finish exploring it p quickly, which is nice

not that i'm not having fun but i know i'm going so slowly ):

me every five seconds: i miss my hooorse i want one to ride around to go faaaaster

i guess...i could catch...one of these

and like. not register it bc the stable is 10000 miles away but

a temp ride. let's see if i can. need to use up some of my sneak potions anyways

i caught one and rode it awhile, but my heart's not in training it...i want My Horse

oh my god wait i hear town music!! is this a stable right here!! AAAAAH

so i did catch a pretty black one and named it luna - had to let the first one i caught go lol but it didn't have great stats and i only rode it once so it'll be happier in the wild probably

KASS IS AT THIS STABLE IM SO HAPPY SO IS HESTU

he's playing epona's song i'm gonna CRY

I MISS EPONA IM DYING

oh my god he had a story for me!! the same one that impa told!!!!! man

the music is still so good. fuck.

lmao i was talking to one dude and he was like well might as well head back inside ugh that place is so filthy and the women so free you might as well call it a manfill

UM?? NINTENDO??

i can see hyrule castle super close from where i am and it looks super scary and i super want nothing to do with it rn

i get the feeling you can like, go in there whenever? maybe even do the endgame stuff early? but oh my god i Dont wanna

OMG i just mounted a bear

i read that you could ride things other than horses but holy shit lmao

i mean

it killed me after i got off, but man

sadly i must now board my horse and continue with The Story see i explored the non-story bits of that province SUPER quickly dang

oh no

this shrine is called a minor test of strength

Oh No

Why, God

oh. that was actually like SUPER easy compared to the other two haha phew

this lady at the crossroads said the prince was creepy omg i knew there was something, ahaha, excuse me, "fishy"

whoa i love his music theme!!

lmao i always get so SHOCKED when they talk!!! even still!!!!!

voice acted cutscenes of this game are like fmvs of final fantasy games in generations 5-7 lol

oh my god...the wink/sparkle thing...he's such a HAM

he's flattering me TOO much omg dude what do you want.......

ok, ok, i like him

he doesn't seem very trustworthy but since his people are in trouble i'll cut him some slack on that one

oh nooo i gotta climb this in the rain......

ah, it's sunshowering tho! that's kinda neat

i just got attacked by octoroks and my heart wept a little because traveling up zora's river dodging octoroks to get to and save zora's domain...I've Been Here Before

listen, i could write a book on this

(lol i did write 300k on this but shhh that was a long time ago)

like...if link is actually a reincarnation does he get flashes of memory

oot happened in every timeline but i know wind waker didn't

but do you think assuming this is in the same timeline as wind waker something in him feels at home the first time he sails a raft again

or hears kass play epona's song at the ranch

or ducks an octorok on his way to zora's domain

people treat the incarnation thing as a kind of tragedy - the world will never be free of evil so long as ganon/ganondorf exists

but maybe there's happiness in it too

no matter what happens, no matter how sad the ending - i mean hell, in this very game, link and zelda LOST

no matter what though, it's guaranteed that they'll see each other again

over and over and over without end, link and zelda are gonna meet and be together for awhile while they defend hyrule again

frankly if that's not a soulmate idk what is

and frankly i'm perpetually offended that they don't develop ganondorf the man more like they did in wind waker...that was the Peak tbqh

i would kill for something like that again

anyway

i love how present the current here is, like with the stuff floating down the river, thats a NICE touch

tbh it's actually really nice that he keeps uselessly checking on me on the way up the river

like, i've been so lonely

even now i miss my companion going "what's WITH that guy" like they probably would if i had one

so this is nice. tbh.

i know it was probably a deliberate choice and makes the game stronger but a companion for this game, someone to share it with...that would've been cool

even just zelda as the protag, she could do some internal narration

but the whole thing is just so quiet.

this place is so pretty tho?? in the distance i see these like, pink coral looking plant things, and the blue columns and bridges are gorgeous

OH NO LIGHTNING GOD WHY

i think its an area thing too i cant just wait it out lmao im gonna Die

oh jk it's just rain now

idk why my entire forcecast changes to a particular type of weather and its only like that a few seconds...super weird and annoying

lol sidon all "you're almost halfway there i believe in you!!" and not helping fight and link's little "k" wave

i love link as a silent protag even if i did have him talk in my writing like it's so endearing

i wonder if link is like sgr like "i am 100 years old what is this zora kid even doing. what is he EVEN DOING."

lol just had to dodge some rocks rollin down a hill

you see this is what i mean. there's a weird sense of familiarity and nostalgia if you've played the games a lot. i wonder if the spirit of the hero feels that way with each new adventure, too

like if he's okay doomed to an eternity of fighting and parting with zelda over and over

because in the end he always gets to do this again

like i can see the spirit of the princess/goddess being high key miserable about those circumstances but i wonder if the spirit of the hero is maybe secretly glad

because part of him will always yearn for the next adventure

he never COULD be happy settling because this is what he was born for

WE love doing this again and again and again, maybe it's not such a stretch to think the spirit of the hero does too

or maybe i'm projecting so hard onto him because undertale has so successfully blurred the line between the player and the game for me LMAO

oh man i just noticed all the names on this map

lulu, mikau ;_;

i miss them!!!!

just once i wish zelda games would feature the same side characters in two or three titles

we never got to see saria or darunia or lulu again

we get to come back to the world but every friend we've ever made has been gone

like some narnia shit i swear to god

lol this is why i should never do story all i do is rant about My Zelda Feels, which are literally endless

oh NICE battle with a blue moblin on the bridge!!!!

ah i like the zora history here too please give me all the worldbuilding i wanna know everything about this world that i can bc rn all i know is "we got Fucked"

i guess i also know about the automans but i need More

i say, while procrastinating on getting to the story

in other news i have an ice and lightning rod which i havent bothered trying to use

bc when i tried to use the boomerang i failed utterly lol

but these? holy shit dude these are Powerful when you actually land a magic hit like Dang

i Love them im never avoiding another wizzrobe again (thats where they drop from)

oh wow

i finally made it, and

man. oh man. it's so beautiful

i wish i could see if better

jesus the zoras always had the prettiest parts of the games imo

OH NO THE MUSIC

OH NO!!! im gonna cry omg

it's the same melody from oot i think!! oh my god!!!!!!

omg there's a zora here named rivan who says he knows me?!?!

omg no he's listing some of link's old pals from Before im so sad why can't he remember

OOOH i shouldn't speak to the elderly bc apparently i am "guilty" of something?? i love this development PLEASE tell me more

i love that they all age so slowly #nice

am i walking into a fucking execution lmao sidon don't play me......

omg the little zora kids are adorable!!!

omg there's a statue of the zora champion ;_;

man this is all so cool i wanna know EVERYTHING about what happened back then!!!!

lol the shrine here was SUPER nerve wracking god you had to like, roll the giant ball down a hill and stop time at JUST the right moment skjghf

oh my gosh ANOTHER zora who knows me (lol "linny")

im so ;w; they all know me!!!!!!

i slept on the blissful water bed at the inn and was mystified and alarmed by the sound effects but i got an extra stamina wheel and 3 extra hearts!!! god damn you can't beat that shit

im so amazed at how many people knew link and like, blame him? i wanna know so bad what happened, i wanna know more about mipha

ten bucks says she's still alive and like trapped in the divine beast but corrupted

or a ghost or something like the old man ;_;

aww zoras sleep in the water aw aw :3

i'm loving this theme of link sleeping for so long like at first i thought of sgr but i just realized it's also like oot (and i can't believe i didn't make that connection first...)

like in oot the people who knew him Before are so happy to see him again and are sure he can help them

but in this game it's a bit mixed

and in this game we don't know the details of 100 years ago yet ;_;

zora's domain here is like. so GLOWY. reminds me of waterfall from undertale tbh lol i wanna paint it

so i'm talking to the king and this one elderly zora goes "the hylians abused an ancient society's power to turn hyrule into what it is today" & like...tbh my dude you have a point. if they had never gotten those guardians out then they couldn't have turned on them

oh my GOD

i just got my first look at a divine beast and i can't believe i was calling them jaegers

my jaw dropped irl holy shit

like that thing truly looks both divine and beastly (this one is an elephant)

is mipha still in there as like a ghost ;_;

it's so clear how much everyone misses her

and she seemed so sweet in the one short memory i recovered

every time sidon does his sparkle smile i love him a little more

i didn't trust him at first bc he seemed a little too eager but now i see he's just doing his best!!!!

especially as someone who thinks radically and progressively in a society where elders stay around hundreds of years

YESSSSS I GOT ZORA ARMOR!!!! YES!!!!!!!!

SWIM SPEED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omfg and it's an engagement thing just like the sapphire

MADE BY MIPHA?

thats right that other lady said link was supposed to choose between her and mipha

listen mipha seems cool and all but i've been shipping zelink for 19 years, so

oh NO, mipha had feelings for link

oh no poor mipha...oh my god

WAIT AM I ABOUT TO GET ANOTHER MEMORY??? OH MY GOD!!!!!

duuuuuude

"no matter how bad the wound i will ALWAYS" heal you and then link wakes up in water

did she do that!!! did she save him ;_; oh my god im going to cry

"you are quivering like a hatchling" PLEASE protect my poor son

muzu is making me sad dude he misses her so much and he hates this so much

ooooh i have to fight another lynel for shock arrows...good Lord im not looking forward to that

I KNEW IT

"calamity ganon took control of the beasts and trapped the champions inside" yep either she's still alive like link and zelda or her body is in there and so is her fucking ghost

DUDE!! i just swam up my first waterfall and it was AWESOME!!!!!

so im at shatterback point now hwere lynel is just bc i wanted to swim up a waterfall but probably he will kill me quickly lmao

apparently you can mount him too which. sick.

but idk i dont have any good food or elixirs or weapons ready im just up here for science im probably gonna knock off soon i gotta Draw

Oh Fuck There He Is ):

it's super tedious to have top go back and delete every fucking picture i take for my copendium one by one those shouldn't save in my album automatically come on dude im trying to take a picture of this lion centaur thing here

aaah there's a rainbow here too #nice

ah well got him about a quarter pf the way down before i died :/ not bad for being completely unprepared

tbh i only had one defense food?? had i had more i could have whittled him down eventually

anyway thats all for tonight!! i doubt i'll play anymore tonight bc i have drawing to do

lol this is a long post but it's all in one bc i'm typing them in notepad now and don't have to worry about them getting too long

[thegeminisage]

a long fucking post (sorry)

bc my browser quit so i just copied it into notepad and kept going and didn’t break it up bc frankly i couldn’t be bothered lol i’ve #struggled today anyway:

i...i dont have any stuff to make spicy food with?? oh my god..........

where do i even...find

lol i could go back to the plateau but i’d probably be Sad.

i guess i have no choice :/

wow i miss the old man

pfft i can see farosh from here but it’s so close i’d never make it in time

SOMEDAY /shakes fist

seeking out shelter from a lightning storm inside the ruined temple of time makes me Very Sad

man. man. there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to set this right

except the main story, i guess, hahaha

OMG A RAINBOW

just for a short moment i didn’t even have time for a picture...wow wow wow

all right i’ve got enough peppers and i’ve had MORE than enough of the plateau im outta here

i fast traveled back to that one shrine i couldnt figure out before

i realize now i was probably supposed to use my paraglider hahaha but i just didnt think of it

theres a chest in here that i cannot. get. oh my god

[death montage]

GOT IT

lol and all that for a little sword

BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS thank god i have a fast travel point now

and that’s all done! time for more of The Story

normally i’d cut this off here but it’s p short so far so w/e

except.......idk where to go next. i know i want to find the zoras, but

which...direction are they. like, i even googled it

i’ll ask my brother and attempt the naked island again while i wait. i read somewhere you can drop your stuff before you properly set foot on there and it helps a bit. plus it’ll be something he hasn’t done, haha

well, so far so good - i managed to drop a few of my best items and a  small amount of food - apples and raw fish - before i stepped on, but i forgot to drink the defense up elixir. i DID remember to eat the extra hearts food, though, and a good thing, bc i came on during a fucking storm in the middle of the night and nearly got killed by some weird yellow octorok popping up out of the ground. fine now tho, all out of extra hearts but other than that good - found some shrooms, a sword, and an axe

oh my god i hit a barrel and DIED bc there was an electric chuchu in it!!!

okay trying again...in the storm again...forgot to drink my defense bonus again...Greay

one orb down!!

lol and i died AGAIN bc i underestimated a bokoblin...i can't take out camps from afar with no arrows!! maybe i can try bombs next time, sigh

i hate getting out to this island

i hate everything ABOUT this island. it is deisnged to kill you. endless skeletons and fire chuchus are great if you need materials and weapons but the chuchus set everything on fire. and there are octoroks ringing the whole island AND on the actual island - there's no safe ground ANYWHERE!!

remembered to drink my elixir but nearly left the stuff i dropped floating in the ocean lol

one orb down AGAIN. 

gotta be a smarter way to do this bokblin camp on the hill. i can't take them all on at once and i can't detonate any of the explosive from afar with arrows, and bombs get me noticed. i can't take that swarm of enemies with no armor. no way.

YES camp down lmao i blew up the barrels with my own bombs since the fucking chuchus noticed me anyway

now i can COOK THINGS thank you thank you

YES now i have hearts up and attack elixirs!!!!

time to fight the blue hinox (:

HAHAHA WOW MY HEARTRATE IS SO JACKED RN

he has so much defense even with my elixir ;_; im too afraid to get close enough for an attack

i wish i had a defense booster!!

NO oh god a lightning storm now of all times!!! no!!!!!!

I CANT EVEN CLIMB THE CLIFFS TO ESCAPE HIM IN THE RAIN

oh my god can he follow me into the water...?

wow it's lightning for the next three hours what the fuck?

aaah the music stopped..he's laying back down...i hope his fucking health doesnt refill

i tried using chuchu jelly to make explosions but they didnt hurt him, only my weapons did bc of my elixir...but im sooo afraid to get close to him, if he kills me i have to do ALL this again

i wanna wait the storm out before i fight him again but i get the feeling the storm was triggered by him waking up bc it's nonstop lightning on the little forecast thingy

god there's not even anywhere to take shelter i just have to pray i dont get struck

yeah it changed back to normal rain as soon as he started snoring...he BETTER not have his health back

NOPE HE DOESNT BUT I GOT UP CLOSE TO HIM TO HIT HIM AND I'M SO SCARED LMAO MY HEART IS POUNDING SO HARD IM SO STRESSED

at least it isnt storming

nooo i hid in the water again and he slept and some of his health came back )))): i am never gonna get him, this is gonna take hours!

as if that wasnt bad enough there's another bokoblin camp with a MOBLIN on top of this big ledge

maybe i can get some arrows at least :/

good news: managed to cheese the bokoblin camp up top. have in my possesion 13 arrows. bad news: hinox is definitely back at full health rn

ok. so im up here where hinox can't actually go (i hope...) and i have my bombs and 13 arrows, plus all these extra bows and weapons and even a pot to cook some more stuff in. i can do this. i can do this.

ok he can't get up here he can't even hit me with projectiles but IMMEDIATELY the lightning started up again so lmao (:

luckily i have found the perfect position from which to roll bombs down at him lol

so this is only gonna take all year ASSUMING i dont get sturck by lightning.

no no no no no NO NO NO

the blood moon!!! why now!!! oh my god!!!!!! can ANYTHING go right oh my god!!!!!!!!!!

at least im far enough down on the ledge the camp up there cant see me

but i'll have to clear out the other one again if i ever manage to kill the hinox and get his orb

:| he keeps trying to go to sleep lol which. no bitch no more health for you jesus fuck

he can't get any of his rocks to land on me and only about every third bomb lands on him lol

his health is sooo low im so tempted to go down and take a swing w/ my weapon, but if i die now and lose all this progress i won't be able to deal so im gonna stay patient and cheese it til the bitter, bitter end

HAHAHAHAHA FINALLY

FUCKING EAT ME YOUR GARBAGE MONSTER GET W R E K T

I PERSEVERED!!!!!! STAYED DETERMINED okay now if not for the blood moon that'd be the end of it but no i gotta clean out that one camp AGAIN without dying

i can do this i can do this i can do this

i......i did it

all thats left is to drop my items and put in the last orb

oh my god!!!!

oh NO if you drop too many they start vanishing ok....choose carefully then

lol ALL THAT FOR A SHRINE TO SOLVE this better be one of those no-puzzle chest only deals

LMFAO i have to reclear the big camp to get in the shrine...oh my god...oh my god

ah well maybe i'll get some more shields i accidentally glitched all mine away

should be easy with all my stuff back

aaaand im stuck down here at the camp i cleared out bc its storming. at least the blue moblin got struck by lightning in a stroke of what i can only assume is divine justice

ok the storm has FINALLY passed

i am FINALLY inside the shrine and have a fast travel point

i got 300 rupees, which is garbage, and i got to watch that stupid monk turn to dust.

ooh whoa there's a rito out here!!!! hi!!!!!

lol a training course for flying...20 rupees a pop. now i know what the fucking chest was for. god.

ah i can't do the course and im so tired of failing at things...i guess i'll leave them for now altho i bet you get a SICK upgrade

no wait i looked it up and its just rupees LMAO no thanks

im never coming back to this fucking island ever again

also: forgot that i did not actually explore the sunken ruins earlier bc of Weather, am going to do that quickly before quitting

oh god oh no i landed right here and there's some fucking masked walking beast getting ready to attack me Why God

IT'S A CENTAUR I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMEONE WITH A HORSE IT'S CALLED LYNEL WHY WHY WHY

god okay we're doing this i guess jesus fuck

if that wasn't bad enough farosh is flying above us LMAO and i still can't shoot him

I! KILLED HIM! bc i had a DEFENSE elixir

i wish i had snapped a better pic than his dying body tho :/

o h w e l l

oh!! i found a memory while exploring!!!!!

HAHAH HOOOOOLY SHIT

oh my god...oh my god...

so it was the four pilots of the original jaegers and two are dudes and two are ladies!!! so there was an even mix in the scene #nice

the voice acting was good and still so unexpected

and the MUSIC oh i love the music when he's remembering something

it felt like a scene from any zelda game, but one near the end—except i'm still at the start

it's so similar to how everyone like, rallied behind link at the end of tp to help him beat ganon, but...this time we already know link failed

god!!!!! this is so good!!!!

every time i find myself thinking "this is an amazing game but it just doesn't feel much like zelda" it comes back and gets me

aaaaaah

and i found a shrine here!!! #nice

altho i'd really like to be done for the night lol

it was super easy thank goodness

omg no the dragon flying earlier must have been naydra bc there naydra is :'))) hey bud

ah and i ran into kass the accordian playing rito again ;w;

anyway now that im FINALLY done with this pronvince tomorrow i can go find the zoras!! yay!!!!

fun fact my very first username was "[not my name, some random one, not telling what it was] of the zoras" bc i love them so much

[thegeminisage]

hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

oh

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)

[thegeminisage]

more zeldablogging! hello, future me, i hope you’re enjoying these

today: lake hyrule!

the tower is next to not-eldin bridge so maybe i should approach from there and not faron tower

but i can see farosh's bridge from here and it's juuust the right time

maybe i'll just got wait a few moments and see if he appears

AAAH THERE HE IS!!!!

and another scale :3

i wish i could get horn shards tho :/

lol i get super sad whenever i go back to the plateau even just to glide off the tower ): old man ))):

i used to think it was so tall! and now it looks so normal bc i've seen so much taller.

did NOT miss the rain while i was at death mountain

lol i can't believe these two puny lizalfos once prevented me from crossing this bridge bc it was too difficult of a fight

and FINALLY i'm across for real

and map obtained

i feel like lake hylia is about the same size here as in tp, but in tp it feels much bigger than it does here bc this world is already so huge and dwarfs even the massive divine beasts

god i can't BELIEVE i am always so low on arrows. frankly: an outrage

lol instead of going to the lake im getting the shrines i have seen from other provinces first

whoa these colums are cool

this zone is called faron woods? not even in faron province, hahaha

ooh there's a lady here talking about the horse revival fountain! i did see something about a lord horse lake or something on the map, so i guess that's it

ugh why is it ALWAYS raining

i'll admit i'm in the stage where like, i'm okay with not walking BY every tree, just maybe seeing them all, maybe even seeing them from a distant ledge or my glider

which isn't to say the world has lost its charm or im tired of exploring, exploring and crafting is basically all you do in skyrim and it pretty much never gets old, but i'm more anxious now to uncover the plot than i was before, which speaks to the game's storytelling skills, yet still feel the compulsive need to explore Everything before moving on lol

i don't typically do a lot of post-game play so i know after i kill the final boss that'll be that

ah here's the shrine maybe the rain will have stopped by the time i get out

NOOO a combat trial......!

but it says minor test of strength so that should be okay :|

ahaha got it in half a dozen hits

unfortunately i have so many great weapons i can't hold the ones i get from this thing or the one in the chest :| i need my shit to break!! i guess i need.....to fight more. ugrh.

god i have like 12 orbs now i should go trade them in lol

i keep forgetting!!

@self pls remember

jesus. it's still raining.

me: i need to fight more!

me: sees two lizalfos, groans

if i had arrows i would just take them out from afar

that's my instinct in skyrim, you know? i'm a sniper at heart, combat isn't my thing

but i have no arrows and too many weapons so i guess i gotta change it up

lol and learn to block my shields NEVER break bc i don't use them bc i don't really know how

that and i'm always fucking carrying two-handed weapons :| i want more one-handers

MAN i one-shotted both of them when it took three hits before with the same weapon...! this atk+ helmet does not fuck around im never taking it off again

the ruins in these woods are making me feel Some Kind Of Way

i hope the lost woods are in this game

i mean, they gotta be, if the master sword is sleeping somewhere in a forest

i hope it's cool when you get the sword. that's all i care about

i'm lying i hope ganon the man is in this game too but

im trying to keep my expectations reasonable

I HEAR KASS! where are you buddy i can't see you

ooh this shrine puzzle is about a forest dragon....FAROSH, MY BUDDY

lol yesterday my brother texted me like where the fuck are you getting all these hearty radishes? me: faron my dude

faron and apparently lake hylia too are absolutely thick with them

oh my god there's a lizalfos camp here and they saw me coming from MILES away how even

naturally they've ALL got shock arrows in this very marshy watery area

good thing i can one-shot them.

oooh there's a glowing goddess statue here

ah this is where i offer a farosh scale, like i offered one for naydra and need to offer one of dinaal

weeeeellll i do have 3-4 of them now so i guess so!

i'd hate to miss a shrine and have to come back

holy SHIT there's a thunderspear in here! fair trade my dude! glad i broke one of my swords at the lizalfos camp lol

ah and now this goddess statue will let me trade orbs!! YES

i got 1 heart and 2 things of stamina which means i have 2 full wheels. i can do ANYTHING

i just swam climbed ran and glided with the same burst without putting on special gear it was GREAT

YES i found the horse lake and there's a great fairy here!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!!!

HOLY FUCK THATS IS ONE CREEPY LOOKING FAIRY

awww it plays epona's song

ah and i found a stable nearby!! good

there's an obstacle course here that i can do w/ my horse for gear, which i Want, but i SUCK at it, so

omg i made friends with a dog ;w; it follows me around

i tried to feed it meat but no dice

the start screen said something cool about befriending them...i wish i remembered what exactly!

ooh there's a quest here to catch the Giant horse...im gonna try it

im riding jemma now as well :3 these places have easy access for horses and i'm not as compulsive in my investigation of Every Single Thing so thats nice

nooooo there's a lynel in the way ;_;

even IF i snuck past it to GET the horse to REGISTER it i never could

i have to fight it. i have no choice

gotta get jemma out of harm's way first

im so nervous )))):

but i put on my soldier's gear and atk helm and drank a defense elixir and gave myself extra hearts so!!!!! hopefully!!!! it'll be ok!!!!!!!

i did it!!! it actually wasn't even too bad with the elixir and the armor

this is gonna be a long boring walk...highkey tempted to go get jemma but im afraid she would get hurt. and like. i know, i can revive her. but god.

THERE IS

ANOTHER LYNEL LOL

JESUS CHRIST

god i bet this WHOLE LANE is full of them

good thing i didn't bring jemma

beat him!! Not Even That Bad

omg I FOUND THE GIANT HORSE

and it looks just like ganondorf's, which my brother spoiled for me hahaha

IM GONNA CATCH HIM

ohhh my god im so nervous. him Big

i know it takes at least two full wheels to soothe him, which i have, but i brought potions too, like i just happened to cook some up last time

GOD I DID IT but okay jfc this is only the beginning i still gotta get him aaaaall the way back to the stable ;_;

and you have to do it at the slowest speed or he'll buck you i think

oh my god oh my god

we did manage a light trot a few times but i don't wanan risk it too much

i soothe it every time it does what i ask haha and it's given me the hearts many times!! so that's a good sign

so far so good abt halfway there

OH MY GOD A FUCKING THUNDER KEESE KNOCKED ME OFF

and shocked him!! poor baby

fucking HELL he ran away

i caught up to him and thank god he let me get right back on

maybe i'll get off and feed him some apples tbh

thank god i cleared out so many of these enemies beforehand tbh

tho i noticed lol the coyotes ran away from it maybe more things do!!

oh my god so i’ve been seeing bigass skeletons on the ground but they don’t move and i thought it was decoration or w/e, rightbut i rode past one on the way to catch the horse, and rode past it AGAIN on the way back, and IT’S A FUCKING HINOX SKELETON UP WALKING AROUND fuck no i’m glad we’re up on a cluff and it can’t see useven the live ones just sleep all the time my dude what the fuck?

HAHAHA I MADE IT

we took the last third of the way at a light trot so we're making progress!

uh holy shit apparently im already at max bond?? god Damn

oooh my gosh what do i NAME him

ganondorf's horse doesn't have a canonical name...

king of something?? idk if i even have room

thief by itself seems a little underwhelming...

ooh maybe phantom? for phantom ganon

midnight is too common, something with flames or fire could be cool for the mane but

i think phantom is what we'll go with

oh my god i'm trying the obstacle course with phantom and i LOVE this horse he turns SO well

AND once he gets to top speed, which admittedly isn't fast, he can stay there forever bc unlimited stamina!!

i still can't do the obstacle course lol the horse just straight up goes around the things most of the time and i looked up like, tips online, and apparently it's really fucking buggy, so, no. i got better things to do

LMAO so im going up to lake hylia finally and i have already run over so many birds this guy can trample anything hes a Big strong Boy i love him

oh hey there's a zora out here at this island!

ohhhh my gosh dude farosh is here at the lake too !! man he is. so cool

he? she? i saw someone online refer to them as shes

theyre named after goddeses but dragons were always boys in this series

i like girls better tho so

she doesn't stay very long here

like, she leaves very quickly as opposed to down in faron where i've seen her circle many times

oh god im at the ruined village again where i saw my first blood moon... #cursed

at least it's daytime now

OMG A FIRE WIZZROBE IM GONNA GET ME A FIRE ROD YES

omg a super fire rod. a meteor rod. #nice

lol wizzrobes are easy to fight you just use the proper elemental arrow and don't let them see you. if they DO see you you die tho

now that im not pissing myself in sheer terror these ruins make me Sad jesus christ im so sad for all of hyrule

BRUH there's a stone talus here!!!!

ugh i wanted to mark the miniboss spot but im OUT OF STAMPS

guess i can't mark cooking pots after all but with the interactive map + my sheikah sensor if i ever TRULY need to find one that should be ok i guess :/

/unmarks them all, SADLY!

killed the talus without even using any special food, haha - don’t have to be afraid of them anymore! becoming less afraid of red lynels, can’t wait for the day when i’m not afraid of guardians

there's a korok seed puzzle here where you have to roll a boulder UP a hill are yu fucking kidding me

ooh maybe i could have used stasis from up there...lmao fuck

maybe i can use it from down here

i hate using stasis tho like it fucks up your weapons and i know i said i need to break some but that's just WASTEFUL

wow and it didn't do anything from down here anyway. ok i'll just come back to this :/

hey and that's all of lake hylia explored :')

tomorrow: gerudo desert!!!! me: HYPE!!!!!!!

well actually my brother's visiting so tomorrow: amiibo, but. yeah.

[thegeminisage]

And Now I Finally Leave This Fucking Plateau

but first im gonna go back to the old mans house one last time to check his diary ;_;

everything else below the cut in case of actual spoilers

on another note i LOVE how fast i can go with the paraglider like #nice

NOOOO HIS CAMPFIRE IS OUT AND HE LEFT A MESSAGE FOR ME AND A PEPPER ON THE TABLE

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

man i wonder if that giant stone thing that chased me used to be a jaeger

(i love this in the legend of zelda i have a smartphone and there are jaegers lmao)

well anyway off i go i guess

i can see the bridge and the pin marks it as in the next little section im supposed to visit so im gonna go check it out since my heart hasn’t ached enough yet

oh my god there’s a giant bokoblin down here...oh my god

IS that a bokoblin...? it looks like a reindeer or smth lol

oh wait is it a MOBLIN?? oh my god!!!! hey dude!!!!!!!!

dude. dude. i hyped myself up to fight. i drank my ONLY atk up potion. and i killed him in one hit with a bomb arrow?? that was my OPENER, dude!! fucking weak

oh hey there’s another one

WOW ONE HIT TAKES TWO OF MY THREE HEARTS LMAO

AND IM OUT OF BOMB ARROWS

good news heres the fucking fight i wanted!!! im gonna DIE, but

ok no i threw my sword at him. broke the sword killed the moblin got a sick club instead. #nice

oh my god there’s some people fighting bokoblins!!! real people!!!!!! i will help them!!!

lmao this is not even close to where i meant to go i saw the moblin and got sidetracked

aw their names are mils and mina they gave me an elixir...and left.......

im lonely :|

like in every other game you get a companion right away that then leaves you at the end...in this game the closest thing i got was the old man and he’s already gone

....back to the bridge im going the wrongest of all possible ways

god theres so many ANIMALS out here. i could hunt for days

already killed a fox a deer and another boar

and like. i feel kinda bad. but. the Meat

haha wow all the rusted weapons stuck in the ground...wow...wow

now thats environmental storytelling jesus fucking christ

huh i finally got a rupee...i forgot those were even a thing

OH NO ANOTHER BIG STONE THING??? WHY????

it killed me in ONE HIT oh my god

apparently keese swarms are a thing, which is actually great, i’d love to fight all of them, but i only snagged two or three before they flew away like little pansies

dude i think im at lake hyrule its under the bridge and i got fucked up by an octorok 

OMG OMG OMG OMG IT’S RAINING!!!!!!!! O M G

i have died four times to this ONE bokoblin camp bc this blue dude has a killer sword...im getting it no matter what.

five

six

YES!!!!!!! HAHHA EAT ME AND MORE IMPORTANTLY MY BOMB ARROWS

ooh and now i have ICE arrows...worth it

but i can’t find that sword :/

aaah here it is

ohhhh man. and here at last is eldin bridge

“bridge of hylia” bitch i know what bridge it fucking is

i’ll just cross it once. then back to the story

oh. there are lizalfos.

THEY ALWAYS FUCKING DODGE i will probably die and not be able to cross (: 

yep i died

ok another day then im tired of fighting and dying a lot i wanna explore or story but i don’t wanna keep dying sorry bridge ):

HANG GLIDE INTO LAKE HYLIA bet i won’t have the stamina to get to the edge

holy FUCK i landed in a ring of lily pads and!!! there is!!! a korok here!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!

hestu...who is hestu

fucked up an octorok

and a goat

oooh i found an underwater village ruins...like im so sad but also it’s so cool

and EXACTLY like that one place in da:i

UH? THE MUSIC CHANGED AND THE MOON IS BLOOD RED THIS WAS NOT IN DA:I AND I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR FREAKY MOON SHIT IN THIS GAME

WHY IS THE SKY AND MUSIC DOING THAT IM SCARED IM GENUINELY SCARED MY HEART IS POUNDING WHAT THE FUCK

OH GOD

OH JESUS I JUST LOST FIFTY YEARS OFF MY LIFE

oh my god okay it wasnt the village it was just a thing that happens now and then

the Blood Moon which revives all the monsters you’ve killed. great. wonderful

can’t go any further bc of lizalfos...tbh i dont need to be exploring this much & right here anyway i REALLY wanna get to kakariko before bed

i found a cooking pot and thought of the old man ))):

hey and there’s a person on this bridge! and a shrine here too...good thing i backtracked

fff ive been playing so long my game pad ran out of battery....and i dont remember how to charge it aside from leaving it on the little station, but you can’t hold it up very well like that........

wow i cant actually Do anything in this shrine...seems i am missing a rune, it doesn’t just give me one

oooomg its stormin omg omg <3<3

LIGHTNING? JUST STRUCK? THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME????

I DID NOT KNOW IT COULD DO THAT HOLY FUCK

oh my god...oh my god

omg and my weapons in the menu are sparking, the metal ones...i gotta use a wooden one omg

I GOT HIT ANYWAY??? AND DIED?? WHY????? oh my god

if only i could wait out the storm by the old mans fire ;_; i could make my own i suppose but its not the same and i hate to waste fire arrows/flint

i took shelter in the shrine instead and now im watchin the storm while the game pad charges :’)

omg there’s an octorok over here...but in the ground instead of water!!! dude

or maybe it’s a weird kind of deku scrub hahaha

nope it was tentacle-y and gave me octo balloons it was definitely an octorok...i wonder if dekus are even in this game i fuckin hope so

theres a tower over there and i wanna Climb It And Get A Map geez

my game pad keeps running out of battery lol is it trying to tell me to go to bed

you’re weak game pad i’m not going to bed until i find a human settlement tough fucking luck

this post is getting SUPER long but i don’t wanna cut it off bc the next one will be super short bc i KNOW im almost there......

aw hey a sunshower :3

time to put my smartphone on the tower

ah this one was much calmer than the last one

ohhhh finally...a proper map Yes Yes Yes Thank You Nayru Din & Farore

ooh and a new rune

this river is apparently named squabble river which is apt bc thats all i did trying to fucking get across it

Why Do I Never Have Any Arrows

i’m not sure where to go next like i feel obligated to explore those areas i didnt get to yet but also i wanna see other people............

oh i found a merchant! damn food sells for a pretty penny rupee

ok yeah no im obviously gonna be playing until ddawn no need to kid ourselves. cutting this off here

also i havent been on my dash in hours i’ve been writing the posts without looking at tumblr at all i’m sorry i haven’t replied to anyone else’s liveblogs ;_; i just can’t tear myself away from this long enough to catch up on my dash!!!!

[thegeminisage]

i realized i had been typing up zelda blogging into notepad for like a week plus without posting, cause i didn’t wanna post everyday once i finished the main story? but then it got SUUUPER long. i waited for it to kinda taper down since now i’m mostly down to completionist stuff, and since it has, i’m gonna post it & just do small posts if i decide to blog abt anything else.

it feels rly weird not to zeldablog now

i ran into a blue? silver? lynel and got trapped fighting it on my way out of hyrule castle AND KILLED IT!! yay!!

also im going back to the mountain to check out that glow

i checked the shrine out next to it, since i was only activating them near the end and not DOING them

and they've gotten way more complex

now i understand when the monks commend your resourcefulness like before i was like, pls. that was way too easy. literally anyone could have done that

i went to the lake at night and it isn't glowing ): idgi did i see something else? does it only do that from a distance? on certain nights? i could see it from SO far away...

o my god theres a GOLF minigame the camera angles even do the thing

fucking fuck dinraal showed up WHILE I WAS PLAYING GOLF 

i MISSED him im so mad i couldnt fast travel away bc minigame!!!

WOW AND HERE COMES THE BLOOD MOON WHICH I WAS WAITING ON AT THE LAKE MOUNTAIN im so pissed i fuckin hate golf at this point its faster to finish than to run all the way back and quit :|

i finished golf but the blood moon just turned into?? a normal moon??

ah okay the glow is random and it's a rare mount!! thank god it wasn't just me losing my mind lol

haha i went to kill the shock arrow lynel just to see if i could and it only took like less than a minute with atk+ armor and decent weapons/shields

plus i'm just better at that special timing stuff now

figures it wouldn't happen til post-game

wtf another blood moon only a few nights later???

i read it was super glitchy but i never really realized until i was paying attention...

aww i bought a house!! maybe link and zelda can live there until the castle is restored YES THEY WILL BE MARRIED SOMEDAY

it's a cute quest i wish i had brought enough rupees to buy all the furniture in it

anyway like. it's super nice to have finally beaten this game's story?? i feel like now i don't have to Rush, i can stop and poke around and explore just like i want, tbh i kinda wish i had done it sooner

anyway im done for the night but i think i will rack up a bit more blogging before making a post i don't wanna be making one every day anymore

——

okay so im gonna wait for the blood moon at this shrine

ive been reading that its random and glitchy?? but had i never read any of that i would have been SURE it was just every full moon, like clockwork

so maybe i'm wrong or the internet is

anyway i have enough fire arrows and wood to camp for a full 10 nights, after which im bailing lol

OH FUCK CANCEL EVERYTHING A SHOOTING STAR

I WONDER IF I CAN FAST TRAVEL TO IT??

only one way to find out

I CAN!!!!!

tonight's a halfmoon...if it's waxing then only 2 more nights, if the blood moon is the fullmoon

waning - 6 more nights :/

and who even knows if the blood moon is the full moon...

i've been reading so much and there's so much i was aching to do while trapped in bed that i don't know where to begin...! yet i am waiting at this dumb shrine, haha

i think i wanna to the terrytown quests? tarrytown? where you build a town, those sound so fun, but ofc i need rupees

three-quarters moon! pleeease letthe next one be a blood moon, i say for once in my life lol

oh no...full moon but no blood moon ):

ugh i do not WANT to camp here for a hundred years

i suppose with the nearby shrine i can get to it fairly quicky but not quickly enough for my liking...once the moon rises you only have literally like two minutes before it leaves

so i have to notice it, get out there, and get naked in less than 2 minutes, without warning :/

ok yeah no this is stupid i'll just do something else while i wait

ah, but what! this is what i was talking about earlier, where do you even BEGIN

i could go back and solve shrines, but puzzles are only fun for so long, i wanna explore and there's so much left to see

i could also rupee farm hahahaha

and for better or worse i do eventually wanna get all the korok seeds...

actually i think i wanna fight minibosses?? which is so weird but i feel like i can take em

i know the silver lynels will kick my ass from reading tvtropes but i can take the others!!!

i also read about the lon lon ranch ruins, which i either missed or didn't realize what they were...i don't have a clue as to where they are, but i wanna see them, i know i'll be Sad

omg people startle when i get close to them wearing dark link armor

oooh i was wondering what this big circular tower was...man i havent seen ANYTHING in hyrule field

apparently there are monsters inside...i see a blue lynel? silver lynel? who knows

but i fought one before, so maybe i can take it

i WAS wanting to fight stuff

camera says it's silver, tvtropes says silvers are harder than calamity ganon himself

but the ones that aren't red all look alike to me, so i have no idea which kind i fought in hyrule castle...and my sword had superpowers then

the problem is all these OTHER monsters...no way could i take them on all at once

so i gotta go around and pick them off first without being noticed if i can

omg i cant drop the master sword when electrocuted ahaha nice

oops i dropped a lizalfos down there with the lynel....lmao maybe i better just go fight him before i fuck up anything else

ah no it's coming back on its own. well done

ok, got em

man, wouldn't it be just my luck if the blood moon rose NOW

tbh if it did i would have to abandon this entire thing, which i would, reluctantly, just so i wouldn't have to wait anymore

ooh god he saw me i was hopin for a sneak attack ;w;

ok here we go i guess!!

i did it!!!!

it actually wasn't that bad, tho it got a bit dicey a couple of times

so much of this game is like, your buffs and armor and weapons, i've had harder fights against weaker foes just bc i wasn't properly equipped

but learning to dodge and use my shield a bit better certainly didn't hurt

tbh it looks like most of what i wanna do requires rupees, so i should go farm some i guess!

boring, but you know

apparently i was wrong about the music in goron city and the gerudo areas and they ARE the classic tunes...i just didn't hear it??

AAAAH the satori mountains are glowing!!

;w; i caught him

what a freaky-lookin boy

i wish i could keep him!!

jesus fuck the blood moon came up and i idled at the screen without looking, god, the ONE TIME

i bet i'll never make it in time but i gotta try

dark link armor will make me move a BIT faster at night for what its worth but i dont even think i have revali's gale ready jfc

thank god i made it with just a few seconds to spare

yikes its lightning af outside so im gonna quit for now

——

aww tarreytown looks so cute so far!! i wanna build it up ;u;

lol i hate when you know a guardian is nearby and can't find it even tho i can fight them now my heartrate is still so jacked up

——

god the tarreytown sidequests are so pleasant and relaxing like

i havent felt so calm playing this game since...i don't think ever

and like, they talk about the yiga clan and the monsters outside

and if i were a person with more time i would write the cute genfic about how tarreytown gets put under seige but their location makes that hard and they fight off the bad guys

it's always sunny there!!! no matter the weather elsewhere :')

also i finally did break the hylian shield cleaning out the guardian room on maze island and i got a replacement there......for3k, but still

anyway im finding all the chests from the shrines i missed and one is in the plateau ): my heart

like, i can't believe i used to think this mountain was massive, this plateau was massive. it's so small compared to everything else. and so lonely ;_;

like, i miss it, weirdly, but i miss the version that had the easy enemies and the old man and where when i looked outside of the walls it was all very misty and i couldn't even comprehend the true size of this world

so: nostalgia, i guess

——

jesus FUCKING christ i went out to see the ranch ruins with epona and i got attacked by a guardian, a yiga clan member, and two silver bokoblins on horseback

FINALLY fought them off, terrified the entire time something would happen to epona, and i got attacked by three stal moblins

fought THEM off and there's a stal bokoblin on a stalhorse! but i can't catch it or ride it because of all times, the blood moon is rising!! j e s u s c h r i s t

now i've gotta get on my horse and get the hell out of dodge before those things come back to hurt her

i was thinking of a nice relaxing-if-sad trip before bed but no i gotta come back on FOOT to kill these guys AGAIN and then bring her back during the DAY so we can properly look around

who KNEW this would be so awful, jesus

okay update i did get on the stalhorse bc i have about 30 seconds to snap a cool pic (no way i can ride it out to whatever stable i need for the quest...even if i could leave epona here, it's much too long of a trip) but fucking hell dude

FUCK i took too long it rose epona and i are STILL HERE LMAO (((:

i didn't know if i should get on epona and ride for it or teleport to the stable and then board her

i teleported and it looks like she's still safe bc they boardered her ;_;

i took her back out and gave her a bunch of apples ;____; my poor brave girl

lol as if that wasnt enough its about to start lightning

ugh i'm coming back tomorrow and cleaning that place out good and fucking proper

i'd kinda like to do it tonight but it's already so late and i don't feel well and it would take a long time and also be a bit stressful probably

at least now i know where to find lots of stalhorses lol

although if you think about it they're there bc a lot of horses died

aaaaand i'm sad again

(super mad i didn't get pics on my in-game camera of the horse, but the snapchat pic i snapped of dark link riding it under the blood moon was still pretty damn cool)

——

w o w

i kinda wish i had been able to bring epona, but i couldn't—it's so dangerous here

but after clearing it out and actually getting to look around, uh

this is brick-for-brick the most faithful recreation of oot's lon lon ranch

and i am SO sad

ugh i just had to restart an entire shrine bc i dropped my korok leaf at the last second bc i was trying to open all the chests and i had to go back and get my good spear that i had to drop to get the korok leaf in the first room...but i needed the korok leaf to get back to the end!!!!!

i hate the weapons system in this game sometimes i won't lie like sometimes it's really good and sometimes it drives me bonkers

oh my fucking god lmao

i can't even RESTART the shrine bc the leaf was in a CHEST which is now empty. holy shit

like, that is NONFUNCTIONAL

they should have had a tools section for leaves and axes and shit i swear to fuck bc i always drop korok leaves as soon as i can bc i don't ever use them to sail and i have so little room and there's so many weapons...jesus christ

i made a huuuuuge list of everything i need to fully upgrade all my armor. it took hours but i think i did the math wrong

remember when i said i was never going back to eventide? well here i am! i'm farming bokoblin guts/general monster drops lol and i knew there were a bunch here :|

but i'm better armed now! so it should be a cakewalk

even red hinoxes don't give me much trouble these days. we'll see

sniped the upper camp no problem with some pretty basic bows. don't know WHY i sniped it, i could have fought them...

haha just kidding. yes i do

time to fight the hinox, i suppose

tbh this is giving me trauma flashbacks lol

duuuude theres a lil star by this hinox's name!!

does that mean the game keeps track of which i kill.......awhile ago the fang and bone guy said he wanted me to kill every hinox and i'm like "fffft yeah right like the blood moon wouldn't come up halfway through each and every try"

but maybe that doesn't matter O:

now i can use stamps to only mark hinoxes i HAVENT killed............interesting

unfortunately i've also been stamping lynels, and i'd hate to take stamps off just bc i'd killed something...man

i wish i had more kinds of stamps and the ability to USE more stamps, geez

i could kill all four moldugas first and see what he did before deciding if it was Worth It

this doesn't make me feel like a badass and i'm not actually getting any great drops. i just have war flashbacks and feel slightly creeped out and anxious. so i'm leaving

holy fuck i finally got the rubber armor and duuuuude it really is shock proof! i got struck by lightning and it knocked me off my feet but only took a quarter of a heart!!!

——

guess i should make a list of taluses, hinoxes, and moldugas i KNOW ive killed :|

it won't be comprehensive but i wanna keep track of it, sigh

i'm trying to farm bokoblin guts but this one area is like all these high up bridges and platforms and they ALWAYS fall so every time i have to fly down and climb back up :|

this place was from one of the coolest parts of the trailer though i really like it

i thought foolishly to knock them all off and then go down and get them. of course they'd despawned by then </3

——

I FOUND KASS IN THE RITO STABLE? HE HAS A WIFE AND KIDS BACK HOME??

like tvtropes spoiled that for me i'll admit but im still cryin...hes so homesick!! he fulfilled a promise!!!! kass buddy i'm gonna clear those shrines for you ;_;

also update i get medals for killing all the things so ofc i gotta do that if i want 100%

i Dread the getting of the korok seeds i just dont know if i am Capable especially knowing there's no reward

like, i'm trying to get all the shrines done before i finish off the sidequests bc once i finish off the sidequests i am not gonna wanna play anymore, the story stuff and exploration stuff will mostly be over, my drive to keep going will drop dramatically, so like

gotta do the shrines first so i actually have time to WEAR the super cool armor i get

otherwise it would be sidequests, shrines, armor, but then no more playing lmao

——

I GOT IT AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL

I MAY NEVER WEAR ANYTHING ELSE

(thats a lie i gotta wear other stuff until i can get this upgraded bc the stats are so low...but its BEAUTIFUL)

——

i did all the stables so why won’t kass come see his daughters? ;_;

oh ok i had to go get the cache

AWWW BUDDY

he finally knows it’s me!! furthermore zelink #confirmed thank u nintendo this is probably the most overt it’s ever been tbh

——

finally fully upgraded my armor & i never wanna see another dragon again

they kept failing to spawn where they were supposed to and the only one who spawns reliably/is easy to hit/doesn’t send scales flying 100000 miles away is farosh, naydra and dinraal are absolutely horrible, naydra in particular has nowhere you can fast-travel to, you have to fast-travel to a nearby shrine and then walk a good distance no matter where you drop in at. naydra was also the most finnicky about showing up when she was supposed to

at least i figured out i can use a flame sword instead of fire arrows to light campfires

getting honey was pretty easy there’s a fuckton next to those hinox brothers and acorns are kinda everywhere

the beetles were a little more tedious but once i put them on my sensor not too bad...the worst part was turning beedle down every time he wanted one because he does a LONG speech that is SUPER annoying after the 100th time and you’re just trying to buy arrows

anyway im gonna go test the defense

surprise! lynels and guardians can still kick my ass!

everything else seems to fly right off me tho so that’s something

it’s been ages since any hinox or talus was able to put up a fight against me

i’ve still only killed about half of each tho like :/ damn they are everywhere & there’s sooo many

——

i’m lowkey wondering if i will attempt to 100% this game like i do Not look forward to getting all those fucking korok seeds, at that point it is no longer fun, yk, and the reward is so stupid

also i saw a video about having to visit every major named place on the map as well

and both of those things obviously guarantee that you see EVERY INCH of this huge and exapansive and beautiful world, but i feel like if i forced myself to keep going and doing it i would learn to hate the game a little bit lmao. lowkey feel like that’s adding fake hours onto your game for something that stop being fun and turns into absolute tedium, but i guess i can understand wanting to give completionist players a reason to see EVERYTHING

we’ll just see how i feel - i still have quite a few sidequests left, and while i don’t wanna burn thru them too quickly (bc again, after they’re over my interest will drop dramatically) i also still wanna fight the minibosses and upgrade as much of my armor as i am able to

but like, who the fuck has time to farm 160ish star pieces...? not me my dude and that mmo-type drop rarity is like :/ i disapprove, that’s like...cheating. but anyway. we’ll see how far i get

[thegeminisage]

time for MORE ZELDABLOGGING hell yeah today’s stream of consciousness:

i’ve decided that i wanna go south bc like im never gonna catch up with my brother and im Not in the mood to do heat-resistence stuff so i might as well see a thing he hasn’t, right?!

if i get too bored i can always turn around and go north!!

furthermore he’s getting closer to hyrule castle and i dont wanna lol

fast traveled to the dueling peaks and found the tower already

ooh and lake hylia is south as well! tho ofc im doing the southeast one first

and i’ll probably get tired of storyless exploring before i get out that far hahaha

wow the tower is close to the border, i can see the lake hylia province from here

there’s an Immense palm tree lookin jungle and i think i see a giant armos?

but the mountains divide it pretty neatly so it looks to be an easy walk assuming those guardian statues don’t move

ah. of course they move.

at least they can’t get up and walk around :|

too bad you can’t play around in the menu while you wait out rain. i’d rewatch m memories and shit

i climbed this one red looking cliff and the sky went green and the weather changed to all cloudy forever so im probably about to die

and just like that, glided to the tower. easy peasy

ah, the faron province!! cooool

ah wow!! it’s bigger than i realized *w*

watching a lightning storm from one of these towers is fucking terrifying

that lightning does Not fuck around

the maddening thing about this game is seeing so much cool shit in the distance and you can’t check it out yet, or it would be such hard work

i see some glowy shit and a giant pink tree and i wanna explore everything but also it’s so Much

it’s kind of creepy out here :/ maybe i want to go do story after all lol

im ging back to the shrine you hang glide off of so i can start from  somewhere familiar >_>

idk why im so cautious playing this game. like. its a game. its not like it can hurt me

im having trauma flashbacks looking at eventide island

wait is this a

i hear town music!!! omg omg

PEOPLE ;_;

ohhhh my gosh what a beautiful peaceful beachside town

reminds me of bodhum/new bodhum and bits and piece of ff11, which i say with the greatest reluctance

i love everyone in this village just bc they are here

oh god it’s so beautiful i love beaches so much i want to live here

oh my gosh there’s a gerudo here!!!!!! OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE MM TALK TO ME

she’s asleep in the inn lol

oh hey the painter dude is here too

some of these hylian npcs are poc which is so do cool and overdue

ooh a chest game

i lost lmao

OH MY GOD

the gerudo lady is awake and she is. so tall oh my god

im gay

i am Gay

I Am Gay

oh, man. oh man

are they all  so beautiful. so Strong. good god

i wish this village was bigger i could have happily stayed here for hours

omg

someone a long time ago was standing on a mountain that looked like a broken heart and was like, is this not the place to find your soulmate…? but i haven’t found mine yet

someone mentioned a similar legend here and on the map i see a mountain with a whole heart on it pfffft

im so sick of seeing these stone cirlces everywhere…i can’t blow them up..what do you DO with them? complete the pattern maybe??

oh my god it worked

i’ve passed by so many…how will i ever get all these seeds……..

i know the game wants me to sail here but i hate sailing, it’s tedious, i want to control my boat with the fucking control stick

holy fuck dude the sword im using is so strong?? it cut down a palm in a single swipe!!

the longer i play the more i hate the blood moon

oh no i found a hinox

i was going to avoid him but he has an orb….

idk where it goes tho so there’s no point there’s no point the blood moon will bring him back okay Okay

hes a red one anyway so no big, when the time comes

oh my god ANOTHER hinox with an orb

i bet they go to the twin shrines near the village

but i’m supposed to find a tablet before i do that…….i don’t wanna skip another quest like the zora helm also thats a Long walk jesus christ

NNNONONONO GOD

GUARDIAN THAT CAN WALK OVER THERE NO FUCKING THANKS SO GLAD IT DIDN’T SEE ME

so fucking glad

exploring is so dangerous Why

why do i suck SO much at combat

oooh a bokoblin camp with a black mobiln :/ Yikes

aaand bomb arrows takes care of THAT

i love seeing farosh flying around here but i can NEVER CATCH HIM

i was just a few minutes too late to getting him at a really good spot

but the dragons seem to take the same route over 24h, so there’s that

oh hey im back at green cloud plateau

okay Um am i crazy or did i just hear something roar? was that the wind??

oh god i see a question mark from here something already knows im close

oh ogd oh god why i bet it’s big and awful

IT’S A LYNEL LOL

i dont have any healing or defense stuff no way

oh no i think there’s a shrine up there where he is ): but i can’t get it

AND A HINOX RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? NO THANKS LOL

jesus i knew i’d die here

at least there’s no orb on this one

oh noooo more lightning god the storms here are brutal

omg i found shelter behind a waterfall and there’s the shrine i was sensing!! yes!!!!!

holy fuck im not safe here either i nearly just got fried

in the shrine we go holy shit

may the weather be better when i get out

damn i keep finding ore today… #blessed

I SAW FAROSH AGAIN HE WAS SO CLOSE BUT I WAS STILL TOO SLOW…okay they DEFINITELY take the same route everyday i think

or at least if not at the same time, the same places

ugh i went over to this one place and the weather turned to all lightning forever

KASS? HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GET FRIED

im so glad to see him ;_; it’s creepy out here

uh…i think…i have to get struck by lightning…on this hill…oh my god i’ll die???

maybe my lightning rod will work……? please…………..?

aaaaand it did nothing. great. ok

/saves game

……../dons metal armor weapons and shield

LMAO IT WORKED HOLY SHIT

oh my god im alive!!!! i had mipha’s grace just in case but i took an electric elixir

jesus FUCK

yes nice i didnt even have to do anything just get the…chest…….

B R O

i got rubber tights!!! electric resistance!!!!! NICE

ah and when i came out the storm was over :3

but kass is gone ): i wanted to tell him i figured out his song!!!

i knew i should have talked to him before i went in :/

lol i find a boat after playing in the water for 100 years…..not that i wouldve used it, but

aw i met and saved a traveling couple, i’ve saved them before

oh my gosh a STABLE!! all the way out here!!!!

THERE ARE PEOPLE

man i wondered what that couple was doing out in such a remote place

oh wow beedle gave me a single ancient arrow…apparently it deals huge damage even to guardians

maybe this is what the start screen meant by the right tools!!!!

but there’s only one…

robbie from akkala gave it to him…NICE i’ll remember

ah some guy here said there was something glowing at the top of floria waterfall…i gotta check that out

ooh a shrine back here too…nice

god there’s a chest in here that’s REALLY hard to get bc camera angles but it has an ancient core (looked it up) and i need one to upgrade my runes………smh

man…nah. im out. there will be other cores & this is crazy ridiculous

its just the stasis rune anyway and i use that one the least

five big hearty radishes means TWENTY FIVE EXTRA HEARTS

but you can only have a max of 30 lol so

AAAH HERE COMES FAROSH AND IM FINALLY AHEAD OF WHERE HE’LL BE OH MY GOD

I HIT HIM I HIT HIM

I FINALLY GOT A SCALE

almost died for it but. i got it. he throws electricity involuntarily and it’s major stuff i shoulda worn my rubber gear

i kinda wanna wait and see if i can get another……..but i have shit to do

holy shit farosh came back around & i got another scale…wish i could hit his horn

AAAH NO A GIANT STONE THING IS HERE….i have no idea how to fight them im leaving

well idk if the stone thing or the dragon or the shrine was what was supposed to be glowing up here but i don’t see anything new

im almost done exploring this province, actually

gotta walk along one beach and climb the heart mountain and that’s it!

a little tempted to grab my horse since it’s such an easy direct road, but i’d be getting on and off all the time ):

fml there’s a guardian on this beach…pls dont move pls dont pls dont

oh thank god its stuck in the sand

omg there was a chest in the sand but it WASNT A CHEST it was one of those yellow octoroks!!!! but!! i shot it! and got money!!!!!!!! #nice

NOOOO another stone thing!!

but you know the last one took a lot of damage from one accidental bomb so maybe

how do you fight it?? i can’t damage it???

OH OMG THE ORE THING!!! OKAY LET’S DO THIS SHIT let’s go i cooked up so much good food

oh my god i took him down in just a handful of bomb arrows…THATS what ive been running from?

not nearly as scarly as lynel tbh

and i’ve been marking the minibosses on my map so now i can look for jewels there if i ever need to

i found a fuckton in this region but lol i sold them all

i know one great fairy needs 10k rupees and like…..Yikes

im getting pretty good with my bow, i can hit far off targets bc i know how high to aim and shit

i’ve kind of been wondering what happens if you get to the edge of the map

but the wind gets so strong on the beaches i bet you just either run out of stamina if swimming or can’t make the boat get past it if sailing

but what happens if you get to a land edge though…?

i actually dislike getting to edges of maps haha it creeps me out. that disreality unrealization shit. no thanks

in la noire the edges of the map have u-turn streets and you realize the cars are all just on one endless track and no one is in them and no one ever goes home and you start to wonder if this actual universe is a simulation and it freaks you out

anyway.

omfg someone from the yiga clan selling bananas like i actually could have bought some if i wanted LMAO

he actually had me fooled for a moment even though i know what npcs named “traveler” mean

why do they all give me bananas when they die anyway………whats going on with this.

oh my god this dude at the heart shaped pond is in love with this gerudo lady here. and like. same oh my god she’s so Big

but lol you can choose to say “yeah talk to her” or “nope, rival time!”

me: aggressively wants to flirt with the gerudo lady but not in a straight way

pls this cutscene was so cute

but she deserves better than a weirdo like this guy

he like, gave me a twenty, and she fussed at him for being stingy, so then he have me a hundred, and THEN

HE ASKED FOR HIS MONEY BACK LMFAO no way fucknuts

wow and with that im All Done with this province O:

i mean yeah i got quests and shrines to come back and do, but i’ve SEEN everything, yk

maybe now i’ll go up to death mountain haha i feel so slow ): i hope what i saw and did made up for my slow story progress

whoa this weapons guy said he’d remake mipha’s trident if i ever broke it!! what a relief

ah i finally figured out the shrine puzzle by zora’s domain…gotta give that thing a dragon scale. but i like my dragon scales too much so i won’t. maybe later

oh hey the death mountain region tower! that was easy

uhhh what…is that

oh my god a FLYING GUARDIAN are you KIDDING me??? why???????

and they’re everywhere! fantastic!!! my ass is DEAD

oh okay this region is called akkala

at least i get guardian arrows here eventually :|

oh my god ONE SAW ME FUCK

oh my god

I RAN UP TO THE TOWER AND IT’S COVERED IN THE BLIGHT

what is that thing crawling all over death mountain?!

what is happening OH my god!!! so much!! everything!!! all at once!!!!!!!!

wait

that’s the divine beast

oh my god

oh my god.

oh my god it’s so big but even still it looks tiny in comparison to the mountain, oh my god

omg it gets cold up here only at night?? omg

NO there’s a still guardian up here too ;_;

i’m gonna try to kill it!!! good first try it can’t move and there’s cover RIGHT here

second try really but im stronger now

now, i have bomb arrows and lightning rods

ok lightning rod does nothing, bomb arrows dont work in the rain, but i killed it with shock arrows!!

and it wasnt v hard bc i was behind cover the whole time lol

but like, with those arrows - i used maybe 9 or 10? and that was all i used, i threw a couple of bombs at it too i guess

now to figure out how i even get IN here w/ all this gunk…..

fuck a bokoblin near a cooking pot saw me and accidentally set itself on fire lmao

ok i can’t climb past the blight, i tried, but how the fuck do i get rid of it i dont see any eyeballs )))):

……………………….w ait

this bokoblin has a shield with the hylian crest on it. the HYLIAN crest

these ruins have the red carpet with the double line of gold on the side

i’m crying this was someplace special

i don’t know what it was bc it can’t be the temple of time or hyrule castle but it was someplace real i recognize the style of it so faintly and it’s COVERED IN BLIGHT

oh my god………..this is so Much

ah ok a beam fell when i shot the first eyeball and i was like why arent there anymore?? but apparently i can magnesis it

oh wow i found a piece of a room…….totally trashed, jesus christ

must’ve been a lab or library

omg its thundering outside…..that has nothing to do with zelda but it makes this creepier

THERE’S A GUARDIAN AT THE TOP SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

its not alive tho thank christ

jesus fuck the divine beast is SO BIG and the mountain is still SO MUCH BIGGER i feel so tiny every time i look

anyway it’s 5am and there’s lightning so i gotta unplug for many reasons, this is a fine stopping place, can’t wait to get my ass kicked by that thing and rescue a goron, holy fuck