#whether wearing it to remember the child or wearing it with a more sinister reason is up to you

[katkalis-the-fanartist]

Thought about what would happen if he put on a mask,

But then wondered if it was already wearing one.

[binxyu]

Jungkook was meant to be just a guilty pleasure. Not your guilty pleasure, but a guilty pleasure. You knew never to fall in love with a man that thought loyalty was showing up on time. He was everything you never needed, but here you were. Your fingers pressed on the trigger that would start the flame of pain.

>>Pairing: Jeon Jungkook (dom) x fem!reader (sub) | fuckboy!jk x witch!reader

>>Word Count: 7.5k

>>Genre: Mini Series / Smut & Angst

>>Warnings/Kinks: Arguments, breast play, creampie, cum play, disloyalty, degrading, exhibitionism, fingering, hair pulling, marking, oral (receiving), praise, unprotected sex, and witchcraft

Jungkook was too beautiful for his own good.

From his pouty lips and sharp jaw line to his starry eyes. The man was perfection.

Even you had fallen for him, a woman that stopped believing in love.

But, all you could do now was remember the times you had together as the fire slowly burns in front of you.

As your love for Jeon Jungkook disappeared into nothingness.

Your fingers typed away at the keyboard, writing the second of three essays you had due. It was nearing the end of the semester and, while you were ecstatic at the mere thought of summer vacation, the stress of exams was looming over you.

“Can you look over this paragraph for me?”, you peeked up over your laptop and nodded, moving your own device out of the way to make room for Namjoon’s. Kim Namjoon was a journalist in the making, a man that knew exactly how to put events into words. He was quite different from you, but study sessions together were always eventful. You were the perfect person to correct his grammar mistakes or to help add detail to his work and he was the perfect person to help explain a certain historical detail you may have missed.

Studying religions was what you had decided was your interest considering your unique practice. You enjoyed learning about the beliefs of people centuries ago but the facts could get scrambled in your brain and that’s where Namjoon came in. He almost seemed to have a never ending timeline in his brain.

“I’d add more emphasize on Jungkook. He did beat the record after all”, you quickly realized when you read the paragraph that he was writing for the school paper again. Despite your attempts to persuade the man that he could do much better with his time, he continued to write for it.

“That’s true. Wait, how did you know about that?”, you let out an amicable chuckle. Of course Namjoon would assume you did not know. Just because you despised sports did not mean you were deaf. The whole school had been talking about the student since the track meet. While you couldn’t remember the exact record he beat, it was still a record.

“People talk”, you shrugged and Namjoon nodded. It was peaceful for a moment as you went back to typing, managing to push aside your emerging migraine. Your body was begging for a good nap, but you had to get this done. You were, among less appealing qualities, a hard worker. Perhaps it was due to the pressure put on you as a child or maybe it was because that diploma was just out of reach. Either way, nothing was going to get in the way of your future.

And, like the biggest fuck you from the universe, Jeon Jungkook walks in.

Yet, you hadn’t realized and kept typing until Namjoon cursed loudly, drawing you out of your world.

“Are you okay?”, your voice was soft before your eyes met the issue. Oh, poor clumsy Namjoon.

He had spilt his coffee all over his shirt, staining the freshly new white blouse he had worn. You couldn’t help but laugh as you dug in your bag for a napkin.

“Don’t bother, it’s too much for a napkin. I’ll go to the restroom. Be right back”, you gave him a brief nod and a thumbs up. Still, you got up with your little pack of napkins and tried to clean up the remaining coffee staining into the table. The librarian is sure to kill you both if it does end up staining the wood. Standing back to examine your work, you almost screamed.

Standing by your laptop was a tall figure with the most sinister smirk you’ve ever seen.

Jeon fucking Jungkook spilt your coffee all over your notes and laptop.

Your mouth hung open for a moment before fury overtook the shock. You stomped up to the broadly built man and yes you didn’t believe in violence as a solution but all you wanted to do was slap the smirk right off his gorgeous face.

“Why did you do that?”, you also wanted to yell but the librarian was already eyeing the table and you couldn’t draw attention to the mess.

“Because I like to watch you suffer, sourpuss”, how have you not killed the man in front of you? You had no idea. Because that name infuriated you.

You knew it was the student’s way of messing with you, wanting to strike that minuscule nerve inside of you. No one else believed you could get angry but Jungkook knew you could. Mostly because he had caused that anger.

“And why is that? Because Jimin told you another lie about me?”, Jeon Jungkook was so impossibly similar to Park Jimin that it was uncanny who he had learned his traits from. Truth be told, you had the smallest crush on the man in front of you during freshmen year. He was so affectionate, caring, and friendly back then.

But, instead of ending up with the sweet heartthrob, you had ended up with Jimin for that year and the next.

Starting out, he was simply a popular boy and loved you with his whole heart. But, time went by and his true colors shun through like the sunlight through your irritatingly useless blinds. He was a playboy. An awfully good one at that for you to have never noticed the extra pairs of undergarments that laid on his floor when you slept over at his dorm.

He cheated, but he blamed it all on you and even Jeon Jungkook hates your guts because you were sure Jimin had told him exactly what he had told most of your friends. That you had broken his heart with your “horrifying” witchcraft and that you were dangerous. It explained why so many students asked to see your devil shrine the next day or tried to barge into your dorm to look at what Jimin talked about.

The most ironic thing was that you had never used magick around the man and you barely used it to begin with. You supposed it was for good reason considering that happened the first time you told someone about it.

“Jimin doesn’t lie. He’s never lied to me and I’m sure you’re well aware of what you did”, his finger jabbed harshly above your breast, just slightly lower than your collarbone. Among many things, Jungkook was dense and forgetful. You noticed that quickly when you started spotted reminders written on his fingers or palm. Just like the little note saying “library 7pm” was written on the finger jabbing you.

Unless the track star had another reason to be in the library he never visited, he wrote that down just to catch you in time.

“Tell me, Jeon. What did I do?”, you tilted your head and moved away from him, realizing the coffee was now leaking onto the floor. You desperately wished Namjoon would hurry up and get back to help you.

“You broke his heart. Using magick or something”, you bit your lips in annoyance and turned around to face him.

“Or something? Jungkook, I never did anything to Jimin. I know you won’t believe it because you look up to him like some god, but he cheated on me. He broke my heart”, you jabbed back, hitting the same spot he hit you, “and, if you haven’t noticed, Jimin doesn’t seem heartbroken, does he?”. If he dared to say yes you may have to use that horrifying magick Jimin lied about because your ex was anything but heartbroken. He was with a new woman almost every night and, even with this knowledge, they lined up to be with him. Who could deny the charming Park Jimin?

Finally, Jungkook shook his head, his curly black hair bouncing as he did the movement. If he wasn’t such a nuisance, you might’ve wished you could run your fingers through it. It looked so fluffy.

“Then, leave me alone. It’s been years of your torment and I’m tired of it”, you sighed and slung your bag over your shoulder after shoving your slightly wet laptop into it, walking out of the library after sending a text to Namjoon that you had felt bad because no one really knew about your fights with Jungkook and Namjoon would surely try to beat his ass if he found out about it.

Leaving the coffee on the table was a bold move but a part of you hoped that the asshole would clean it up. It was his mess after all. Not your’s.

“You’re coming to the track meet, right?”, the voice startled you and you sat up on your bed, making direct eye contact with Kim Taehyung. The only guy with a key to your dorm.

“Tae, I love you but you know I do not do sports”, you grumbled and flopped back onto your bed. Your classes had you beat and the need for a nap was too great to give up. Even if it was for your best friend.

“I know but it would mean so much if you were there”, don’t do it. Don’t do it.

You did it.

You made direct eye contact with those big puppy eyes Taehyung always used to get his way. You had fallen victim once again.

Which was why you had ended up in the cold, shivering as you watched the team run around the track for what felt like an eternity.

Taehyung had done great considering he barely moved before the season but who really stood out was Jungkook. His back muscles were only moments away from ripping through the flimsy shirt he was wearing and sweat was coating his hair. He was aware of how good he looked. He always was. He even was ballsy enough to wink at one of the girls screaming his name in the crowd.

Thankfully, the pleasant bliss that was drinking kept your mind off how irritated you were. You had snuck in a beer to drink (not that everyone else didn’t) and the alcohol loosened you up a bit.

After the meet was over, a sweaty Taehyung was clinging to you like a massive koala. He was high off adrenaline and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to cuddle or jump around.

“Tae, take this before you pass out on top of me”, you handed him a water and he gratefully took it, still leaning against you as he chugged down the drink.

Taehyung and you were polar opposites. He was an athlete, quite dorky, a great singer, and was overly optimistic. You, on the other hand, liked to keep to yourself, was not the best of singers, and always stuck to the reality of things. Even if you could manipulate that reality the tiniest bit.

“Let’s get you home”, you let the man lean his weight on you tiredly as you started to walk towards the exit of the field.

“Sourpuss, I need to talk to you”, that voice was definitely not the one you needed to hear when you were this tired and already agitated. What does a girl have to do to spend time in her bed?

“I’m a little busy if you haven’t realized”, you gestured to Taehyung, who was breathing directly on your neck and nuzzling his nose against the skin. It wasn’t an odd gesture considering your close friendship but his face was so cold it send goosebumps down your spine.

“I’ll help”, Jungkook offered, quickly coming to your rescue by crouching down and getting Tae on his back. The man grumbled but was happy to take the ride considering it was less soreness for his legs to endure the next day.

The Jeon Jungkook helping? What a trip.

“What do you want?”, you winced at how rude it sounded. Sure, Jungkook most definitely deserves said rudeness, but he was helping you.

“I’m sorry”, you legitimately thought you were hearing things and turned your head to look at him, stopping in your tracks.

“Can you say that again? I don’t think I heard you correctly”, the athlete groaned before turning to look at you, frustration evident on his face.

“I’m sorry. You were right about Jimin. He’s been talking shit behind my back for months and I had no idea”, if it wasn’t for your “told you so” attitude, you would’ve felt sorry for him. Jimin was one of his closest friends after all.

“Hate to say I told you so but”, he glared at you to shut up and you quickly did. His glare was so cold that a shiver went up your spine.

“Sorry, it was a joke. Jimin is really manipulative so don’t let him bring you down”, you reassured him, even bringing your hand up to pat his shoulder. By the way he flinched away, you would’ve assumed your hand was made of lava.

Noted. Jungkook hates being touched.

“I assumed so much about you and that was immature of me”, the man smiled softly at you. It felt like arrows pierced your heart. He had such a cute smile for an asshole. Like a bunny.

“It’s fine. Lots of people assume things about me”, you shrugged as you both started walking again, Taehyung looking down at you to make sure you’re okay. He was like your protective older brother and you couldn’t be more thankful to have him around.

“But they shouldn’t. So what if you follow a different religion? It doesn’t mean you’re evil”, that was probably the first time someone agreed with your practices besides Taehyung and Namjoon (mostly because he understood it better than others).

“Thank you for saying that. It means a lot”, you finally smiled back at him, sending his heart right into his chest as his heartbeat picked up. Needless to say, he adored your smile.

“I hate to ask this of you but could you tutor me on Epidemiology? I regret ever taking it and I’ll pay you”, you were wide-eyed with shock to say the least. You didn’t expect Jungkook to go out of his way to learn. Especially, not with you.

“Sure, you can join Namjoon and I in the morning”, you nodded before you saw the way Jungkook’s nose crinkled up in displeasure.

“What? What’s wrong with that?”, he sighed in response to the question as you both reached your dorm building. You’d just let Tae stay with you for the night.

“Namjoon hates my guts. We’re way too different. Besides, aren’t you two dating? I don’t want to be some third wheel”, Jungkook almost sounded disgusted at the idea, probably imagining you making out with Namjoon in front of him.

“I’m not dating him. He’s just the only other intelligent male I can tolerate”, he seemed to relax once you finished speaking but there was still tenseness evident in his shoulders which wasn’t due to the large man on his back.

“I still don’t get along with him despite the fact that he writes about me all the time. He once yelled at me for cheating and wrote an article about it”, that was a slap right to your face. Right, Jungkook was a player and he could throw your feelings aside like one of his cigarettes. Do not get attached.

“Well, don’t cheat”, you said because, let’s be real, it’s the truth. You unlocked the door and helped Taehyung off of his back.

“Bye Koo, thanks again”, your words were quick and you kicked the door closed with your shoe, your hands full thanks to the oversized man child clinging onto you.

Koo. He liked that.

Weeks had ticked by and, somehow, Jungkook had managed to get your number. Honestly, Namjoon probably slipped it out or Taehyung gave it to him. According to Tae, the man had been oddly friendly to him and they were (borderline) friends now. They played video games together, practiced together, and even barged into your place for snacks together.

Great. Now you had two man-children to take care of and feed. It was definitely taking a chunk out of your paycheck each week to get extra snacks for the two. They ate like starving animals whenever they came over. A small part of you even thought it was just to piss you off even more.

Jungkook finally managed to get you to agree for a tutoring session with him. Just one. If this one went well then maybe you would agree to more.

The only sad thing about the session was that it was scheduled to happen right after your last class on Friday in your previous dorm. The dorm you had just finished cleaning up since the last time the two adult toddlers had destroyed it.

Surprisingly, when you had woken up one morning, Jungkook was still there. You assumed he and Tae were too drunk to get back to their own dorms and had decided to just sleepover at your’s. It was quite annoying if you were to be honest, but the way Koo looked actually interested in your religion was enticing.

He didn’t look scared or disgusted when he looked at your little collection of crystals on your desk or the jar resting on your end table sealed with candle wax. If anything, he actually looked amused or even impressed.

“I’ll pick you up after class. I can’t believe you don’t drive and walk to your dorm every day”, Jungkook shook his head as he walked beside you. Coincidentally, your last classes were next to each other but you were shocked to hear him offer to give you a ride.

“Don’t judge me, Mr. Playboy. I just have a fear of hitting someone. Have you seen the lunatics at this campus? They will run out into traffic for fun”, the man chuckled wholeheartedly at the pout on your lips. Plus, your joke was actually pretty accurate. Even he had almost hit a drunk idiot when trying to get back to his dorm late one night.

“Okay, that’s fair. So, you okay with me driving you?”, you nodded cautiously. While Jungkook was guaranteed to know every path to your dorm by now, you were still guarded. Being in that tight of a space with him was going to be difficult.

No, you don’t get those so-called “butterflies” when you were with him. Honestly, those butterflies were typically a bad sign to you. Feeling sick because you loved someone sounded a bit odd and almost contradictory.

You actually found yourself with more powerful emotions than anything. If Jungkook made you angry, you were angry. If he made you happy, you were happy.

Everything just felt so much stronger when you were around him. Thankfully, he almost always made you happy. He made you laugh because, once he discovered that beautiful sound, he couldn’t get enough.

So, after your class, you met him out in the hall and he walked you to his car. Now you realized how such an undetermined man got into college.

He was filthy rich.

Sitting there in the parking spot was a brand new Mercedes Benz. Its black color almost matched the distinct leather jacket that he decided to wear today. It very much screamed Jeon Jungkook.

However, it did not scream you whatsoever. You were almost afraid to get near it.

“Hop in. My grade isn’t getting any lower”, he opened the door for you and you weren’t sure if it was because you were friends, or whatever the fuck you two were, or if it was because he wanted a discount.

That’s not fucking happening. He’s already stolen plenty of money through snacks from your cabinets.

Meekly, you got into the vehicle, immediately buckling your seatbelt as if it was going to hurl itself into motion at any moment. Jungkook shut the door and went around to get into the drivers’ seat. Apparently he trusted his own driving so much that he never wore a seatbelt (Namjoon would’ve had a stroke if he was told that) and he drove with one hand (scratch that- make it two strokes).

Despite those things, he was an actual good driver. You felt safe and he drove the speed limit. Maybe it was just because you were in the car with him?

Getting out of the luxurious leather seats proved to be a hassle considering you knew your seats in your dorm were no where near as comfortable. You could sleep in that passenger seat without a care in the world compared to your own bed. Still, you forced yourself to get out and you two went up to your dorm. Jungkook is way too familiar with the place now considering he barely talks to you. It’s your place and, yet, he comes here for Tae.

“Alright, what unit do you need help on?”, you asked softly as you took the needed supplies out of your bag. You actually already took Epidemiology. It had nothing to do with your major but it was interesting to you. Who wouldn’t want to learn about the science of the world’s biggest killer: disease?

Jungkook simply looked at you, blinking a few times and pressing his tongue into his cheek in that nervous habit you realized he had.

“Oh- for fucks sake, Koo”, you grumbled as you realized how long of a process this was going to be.

It had been months since you began tutoring the student and, finally, there was progress.

Standing proudly with his shoulders back was Jeon Jungkook holding a test with a big number ‘92’ on it in red ink. Your heart swelled with pride.

“I passed! This was the exam review test so I’ll pass the exam, right?”, you smiled brightly as you looked at his excited eyes. You never thought Jungkook would ever be excited over passing a class but you can’t judge people by their covers, right?

“Yeah! Just keep up with the studying and you got it”, you nodded quickly, looking away from his puppy eyes when you felt happiness engulf you like a fire.

Ironically, you were actually playing with fire. Your hand tugged on the trigger and a flame flickered from the end of your lighter. You brought it down and lit the candle in front of you. To be honest, you were a bit of a goodie two shoes but you did break one rule.

No fire in the dorms.

“Hey, I really wanted to thank you. I’m actually passing all my classes now and it fills like my life has purpose again”, woah, didn’t expect that.

“No problem, Koo. Your life always has purpose. What do you mean?”, you looked up from what you were doing, noticing he was leaning against the frame of your door.

“All I did was party and drink. Sure, I was a good athlete but that can only take you so far”, you nodded in understanding and stood up, walking towards him.

He followed your every move like prey waiting for the predator to attack them.

But, instead of an attack, he was met with a warm, genuine, and, all around, great hug.

“Do you think of me as everyone else does?”, you looked up at him, meeting his starry eyes.

Oh, you hated them because of how much you loved them. They held the galaxy within them and you could stare into them for hours if given the chance.

You were many things but, tragically for Jungkook, a liar wasn’t one of them.

“Honestly, I did before. I’ve seen you do some of the things the rumors talk about-“, smoking, cheating, fighting, “but now I know that’s not all you are. There’s more to you, Koo”.

All Jungkook had been able to think about was your words. Sure, he didn’t care about your opinion before but it truly did make him happy to know you thought better of him.

“Jk! Where have you been?”, oh no.

“Jimin? I’ve just been at the gym a lot”, lies. He had been with you a lot.

“Ah, I see. How’s the bet going?”, the shorter man asked, running his fingers through his precisely cut hair. What a born model.

The bet. The bet you had no clue about. The bet Jungkook was too dense to refuse.

“It’s going. She hugged me yesterday”, Jimin scoffed and then chuckled, vastly different sounds that almost made Jungkook double over in fear. Truth be told, he despised Jimin. He despised him because he scared him. The only other man more influential than him was Jimin and that meant Jimin could ruin his reputation in a matter of seconds.

“That’s all? Damn, she really is void of love”, the bet Jimin was referring to was the one he made with the younger at the beginning of the year.

“I bet you can’t make her fall in love with you. She didn’t even love me, Koo! Me! I’m telling you, if you make her fall in love with you then I’ll get you anything you want”.

Time was running out with exams coming up and Jungkook needed to hurry if he was going to win such a bet. But, was it worth it if it meant disappointing you? Jimin may be scary but you made him feel so happy and so proud.

The only time he had seen you disappointed was when Taehyung broke one of your jars, resulting in a mess of coins, herbs, and wax on the floor. That’s the day he decided he never wanted to be on the receiving end of one of those looks.

“Yeah, she’s guarded which is understandable-“, wait- did Jeon Jungkook just grow some balls? “I’d be void of love too if everyone judged me for something I believed in”. He did.

“Where is that coming from? She deserves it, doesn’t she? Come on, JK. Keep that head in the game!”, Jimin patted his head like he was a child with all A’s on his report card, which, for once, was actually true thanks to you.

What game? You? Were you truly just a game to him?

“Alright, I’ve got this”, damn. Maybe you were.

Most nights you found yourself at the library now. It was the only place that was filled with peace and quiet. Especially on a Friday. Not even the librarian was here.

“Guess who”, hands covered your eyes and you would’ve punched the man behind you if you didn’t immediately recognize his husky voice. It was soothing with just the perfect mix of roughness. You couldn’t help but wonder what it sounded like when he just woke up.

“An asshole who thinks it’s okay to sneak up on women in a deserted place”, you grumbled and Jungkook immediately removed his hands.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”, oh here we go. Argument number two thousand.

“I wasn’t scared. I was just saying that, one, you’re an ass and, two, don’t do that to women”, he nodded in agreement and you thought that was the stopping of an argument. Boy, oh boy, were you wrong.

“I won’t anymore but you’re so weak. I’ve scared you so many times now”, you glared at him. Thanks to months of being by Jungkook’s side, you had become a bit more out of control. The feelings you used to keep caged up were now more out in the open. You cussed more often, even tried drinking (and almost spit it out on him), and your frustration was no longer hidden from the world.

“Jungkook, you are a menace to society and I would like it if you leaved”, it was a pointless threat. You didn’t really mean it. You adored his company but you wouldn’t admit that with a gun to your head.

“Liar, you love me”, shit. Did you? No, don’t ask that. It was just a joke.

Damn you and your overthinking.

“No, I hate you. Shut up”, that was also a useless threat. Jungkook never shut up. He was quite the talker and shutting up was not in his vocabulary.

“No, you hate me. Shut up”, he sat on the table you were previously working on, knowing this would take a while. Your arguments always lasted between thirty minutes to two or three hours. You both hated to back down.

“No, I love you. Shut the fuck up”, wait a second-

“As you wish”, he smirked victoriously and leaned closer, his face so close to your’s that you could smell his musky cologne.

“That was wrong”, you glared at him and he shook his head, “don’t open your mouth aga-“ you were cut off as his lips connected with your’s. He kissed you so intensely that your mind was fogged up, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

Finally, with your brain still hooked on adrenaline, your hands found their way to his cheeks, cupping his well defined face as you kissed back. You could feel him smile into the kiss before he pulled away, leaving a spark traveling down your body. Now, that’s a good feeling.

“Ah, I love when you shut the fuck up”, you were so close to beating him with your bag.

Everything was weird after the kiss. Life wasn’t some fairytale where you both lived happily ever after in some old palace somewhere.

No, you were both actually stuck in that “fuck, what are we?” mess.

Love wasn’t something you could control and that was why you never let it get that far, but, with Jungkook, it felt uncontrollable, spreading like wildfire.

So, you avoided him.

Of course, it wasn’t the most humane or easiest form of dealing with your feelings but it worked.

Well, for a little bit until Koo decided to block you off in the library, cornering you into the back section of the religious books. Oh, how ironic.

“What’s wrong?”, his voice made your knees want to give out. It was early and you assumed he woke up early just to catch you. His attire said that enough from his sweatpants to the tank top hugging his upper body. He obviously just threw something on before he left.

“What are you talking about?”, you tilted your head and tried to act innocent, but, once again, a liar you were not.

“Oh please, you’re obviously pissed off or scared of me or something”, bingo. You were horrified of what you were feeling and, in tune with it, Jungkook.

“I don’t know! Why do you even care? You’re obviously going to pass your exam so what am I needed for anymore?”, you winced at your own words, watching as the man’s usual bright expression turned into a sorrowful one.

“It’s much more than that, y/n”, that was probably one of the first times he had said your name. He usually called you nicknames like princess, sourpuss, or whatever else he came up with depending on his mood.

“Then what is it?”, the stare he gave you made you want to hide further into the corner. It was so predatory that your body was trying to fight its own instincts to run away and avoid the problem. You were always a flight over fight type of girl.

“You”, the one word made your eyebrows furrow, racking your brain for a response or understanding of what he meant. Jungkook shook his head as you watched your face twist in confusion.

“You’re so dense. Why would I kiss you if it wasn’t all for you?”, he leaned closer to you, hand resting on the shelf of the bookcase behind you. You silently thanked the universe that no one else was in there yet.

“Discount?”, it was the first thing you thought of and it caused a low chuckle to rumble out of Jungkook’s chest. He looked up into your eyes and it almost knocked the air out of you.

“Hmm, unless it’s a fuck buddy discount then I don’t think I want it”, he raised an eyebrow cockily and your eyes went wide. Little did Jungkook know that he just complicated your relationship even more.

“And what if I’m okay with making such a discount?”, the student practically groaned at the words, free hand finding its way on your hip, squeezing it. You don’t know where your new found confidence came from but you had gotten rather blunt since hanging out with Jungkook.

“Then I’d say you’re not the person I thought you were”, he hummed, leaning in to whisper in your ear. The way his breath tickled your ear sent sparks through your body.

“Is that what you want? For me to take you here against these books?”, yes you did. Looking around, you were met with many versions of Bible and other holy books of all religions. It was absolutely filthy and wrong to do it there which was why it was perfect.

“Yes, I want that”, your nails dug into the wood behind you, trying to ground your emotions down. It had always been an escape tactic to you.

“How naughty”, now you understood why he had chosen today of all days to corner you. He loved the skirt you were wearing and how easily it gave access to everything delicious underneath. Plus, your legs were perfect to him.

His fingers danced along your thighs before he pushed up your skirt, revealing the black lace panties underneath. Oh, you knew what was going to happen today and you definitely knew Jungkook liked his black.

“So pretty. Just for me?”, the question took you off guard, your own questions flooding your brain. Ultimately, after a few moments of silence, you decided he probably had a possession thing. Who didn’t like to feel powerful?

“Just for you, Koo. Fuck, touch me please”, so you decided to feed his little ego, edging him on until he pulled the panties to the side to reveal your glistening pussy.

The dim light of the library truly didn’t do it justice but he couldn’t help himself from finding it to be also perfect. He was in deep shit now.

His long fingers ran down your slit until they reached their destination: your pussy. He rubbed around it before he slowly plunged his middle finger into the wetness, curling against your walls.

Fuck, you always hated that finger but with it inside of you? Maybe you could make an exception.

Your body shook in response to the stimulation since you hadn’t been touched in so long, your hands gripping the wood tighter to keep yourself steady. Jungkook smirked when you clenched around his finger before he added another, stretching you out wonderfully as he scissored you open.

And that was when Jungkook found his favorite sound in the world.

“Jungkook! Oh god”, you moaning his name sounded like music to his ears and he couldn’t get enough. The only thing he hated was how quiet it was since you were still conscious of the library around you. He wanted you to scream it.

“You like that, princess? You want more?”, you obediently nodded, not in the mood to be denied an orgasm (which you were sure Jungkook would do if you didn’t obey). The man chuckled and leaned down, still pumping his fingers steadily as if it took no effort at all. If you had done this yourself then your fingers would have been cramping by now.

Your body jolted when Jungkook’s plump lips wrapped around your clit, sucking harshly on the nerve as if he was starving. To be fair, he had skipped breakfast.

You feared for the books behind you as your body spasmed, orgasming on the man’s fingers. You took deep breaths once you were finished and watched as Jungkook pulled away, pulling his cum covered fingers out of you.

With prolonged eye contact, he slipped the digits into his mouth and sucked the juices off of them. A new wave of arousal went through you when he tapped your lips with them, making you open your mouth. You gagged briefly when they hit the back of your throat but you sucked on it, licking your way up his middle finger.

“Good girl”, now that was going to haunt you forever. You whined when he pulled his fingers away and he smiled teasingly at you.

“I’m going to need to see these”, your eyes went wide when he gripped the collar of your shirt and ripped it clean down the middle, tossing it aside as if it didn’t cost you a fortune.

“Jeon Jungkook! That was expensive”, you huffed but he paid you no mind, just reaching behind you to remove your bra too so it can join the rest of your clothes.

“What if someone sees? I can’t cover these up quickly, Koo”, you crossed your arms over your chest, looking around cautiously. Jungkook just laughed and pulled your arms away, pinning your wrists above your head so he can press his body against your own.

“Take my shirt off and you can put that over you for the day. It’s fine, sourpuss”, oh you would’ve slapped him if you weren’t so turned on. He let go of your wrists and you quickly removed his shirt for him, revealing a muscular chest you could’ve never imagined.

And he never imagined how beautiful you’d look with your hard nipples pressed against the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. He grabbed them immediately and you failed to see the spark in his eyes as he squished them together.

“That was one of my favorite shirts. What a di-“, you yelped when he pulled your leg up over his shoulder, yanked his pants and boxers down, and pulled your panties aside to rub his angry tip against your folds. Your head rested back as he rubbed against your clit, covering his cock in your juices.

“What a dick indeed”, Jungkook chuckled deeply, arousal blurring his world into nothing but you. The only thing that mattered at that moment was feeling you.

His lips attached to your neck and you were so out of reality that you didn’t realize he was littering the skin with his marks, a silent claim on you as he pushed himself inside of you.

“Oh shit, it’s exactly as I imagined. So tight and warm”, and he was just as you imagined. So very big. You didn’t think anyone else could stretch you out as much as Jeon Jungkook and that thought made you groan.

“You’ve been imagining it?”, it was your turn to smirk and, for the first time ever, the man in front of you blushed.

“Oh please princess. I know you’ve been thinking about it too”, and you had been. Not that you’d ever admit that after he just basically friends with benefits zoned you.

“Just move you asshole”, Jungkook gripped your hair, tugging on the soft strands as he finally kept pushing, bottoming out inside of you perfectly.

His big hands moved to grip your hips, a little help to keep you up as he started to snap his own into your’s. He was mildly uncomfortable at first but, as you adjusted to his size, bliss filled your body.

Finally, you were doing something to make yourself happy and pleased. Maybe Jeon Jungkook wasn’t the best man to do it but he was making you feel so so good.

The man snapped you out of your thoughts as he brought your hand down to your clit. You understood and started to rub it, happy knowing that Jungkook was also looking out for your own pleasure too. Not that you’d know he had been thinking about you creaming on his big cock for months now.

“Keep doing that”, he whispered despite the heavy groan that threatened to come out. He was referring to the uncontrollable clenching you were doing around his dick, sucking him into your walls with each muscle movement. You listened and (despite knowing you were going to keep doing it anyways) clenched once again.

“Can I cum inside?”, you whimpered at the idea of Jungkook’s cum filling you up and, knowing you’re on grade A birth control, you nodded. While Jungkook was effortlessly attractive, kids were not part of your plans by far.

“You close too, princess?”, you nodded, a small moan spilling past your lips despite your best efforts to be quiet. With that knowledge, the man orgasmed and you could feel his seed start to coat your insides. The feeling made you tumble over into your own orgasm, coating his softening cock with your release.

“I think that’s the best sex I’ll ever have”, you praised him as you tried to put your cramping leg down off his shoulder. Instead, he held it tighter and pulled himself out of you. He watched as his cum started the spill out of you, dripping down your thighs beautifully.

So, he’s a man who likes to admire his work.

You almost screamed when he pushed it back inside of you with his finger due to the sensitivity.

“See you later, sourpuss”, Jungkook smirked and put your panties back to their original position before he pulled his own boxers and pants back up. He walked off and you were left gobsmacked with his cum dripping out of you onto your panties.

As the weeks passed by, the world became more vibrant and cheerful but also more chilling and worrisome.

Exams were over and you were free to go wherever you pleased but, somehow, you always found yourself wanting to be with what was supposed to be your secret guilty pleasure. Now, he was your everything. He truly brought color into your world; sadly, color always comes with black and white.

“I won the bet, Jimin. I want what I asked for”, you listened intently from the other aisle of books. The library had become your go to spot to find Jungkook. Surprisingly, the once unmotivated student was more frequently in here because of the sheer relief he got when you stood before him with a proud smile. What a softy.

“Really? She fell for you? Damn, you still got it. I can’t believe you asked for this though”, the disgust in your ex’s voice was evident and you so desperately wanted to see what he was referring to. You truly thought Koo had stopped being friends with Jimin after he apologized but apparently you were wrong about a lot of things. Most of all, you were wrong to love again.

Feeling your tears start to spill down your cheeks for the first time in years, you forced yourself out of the library. You should’ve seen it coming. What would a playboy want with you? A woman looking for a serious relationship? You’re an idiot and you’ll fix it.

Said playboy must’ve spotted you because you could hear his heavy footsteps behind you as you rushed out of the library, hurrying into a run with the safety of your dorm in mind. It was time to end this.

So, here you were. Remembering everything from the past few months as the candles in front of you burned, getting so desperately close to the string connecting them. You had carved an evident ‘JK’ on one and your initials on the other, bonding them to the people who needed to be apart from one another.

Watching his candle, you noticed the wax dripping down the long wick and you knew they were tears. You knew because of the loud banging coming from your dorm door, the man on the other side screaming and sobbing for you to let him explain.

Your candle, however, burned strongly with vengeance. It stood so tall compared to Jungkook’s and, as the fire finally burned through the string tying you both together, you felt free. It was like Jeon Jungkook had never affected you before and his name slowly slipped from your mind.

Eventually, the banging stopped as the candles reached their ends and the fire flickered out under your gaze. You felt so blissfully numb as you walked towards the door, opening it to reveal a confused Jungkook looking up at you.

“What did you do? It’s like-“, you cut him off with your hand, pulling him up rather roughly.

“You never knew me. That’s how I want it, Jeon Jungkook. You never knew me and I never knew you. Now, get your prize and leave me alone”, you slammed the door in his face. You felt pure relief but Jungkook could still feel a pang of want in his body.

You had failed to notice the little wax left of his candle that stood strong as you dumped it in the trash and he failed to notice that he had left his “prize” outside your door as he rushed off.

A gorgeous rose quartz necklace.

What a way to declare your love to a witch who just cut it all off.

[iamtheempress]

Highly Motivated~

Lets Talk: part 2

A week is all it took, alot faster than Dabi expected. 

The league took her in as one of their own and it was comforting to say the least, just as comforting as any detached homicidal family could be to someone who was nothing but sweet and a change of pace… almost innocent in a twisted sort of way.

Toga had taken a liking for her almost instantly, Chiaki's charming and womanly disposition really stood out to her and grit drew her in quickly; gossiping and having another woman around made Chiaki feel a sense of camaraderie, a sisterhood almost, made her heartache to see her little sister again. 

While still under the watchful eye of the men of the group, the same men she fought against with the other UA students and under the same monicor of being labeled a pro hero… so the wary behavior was quite understandable. Kurogiri had made it very clear she was to stay within the hideout until further notice to figure out what the hell to do with her, to quell Shigaraki's nerves and to act as the designated healer and if god forbid anything happened. 

Chiaki obliged respectfully, head low and a sweet little smile on her face-unlike Himiko’s whose toothy grin was unmistakable and sinister to everyone- granting her a bit of positive attention from the men of the group after she displayed the extent of her quirk and its versatility.

That notice went up about 2 days into her stay in the hideout, this being exactly what Dabi had wanted from the beginning, he knew just the tip of the iceberg of what this girl could bring to the group.

Her assistance was needed in the worst way possible, upon receiving contact from Compress she was notified that Spinner and Twice were injured the day after she had shown up. 

Twice being worse for wear than Spinner. She ordered him to lay down in the living room of the hide out, after complying to do as she says he lain back and watched her, his vision shifting in and out, with gentle hands and a deep breath placed a hand directly on an open wound that punctured his lung, which in all reality should have killed him.

 By some miracle it didn't- and she spent 50 minutes concentrating on making sure he was healed up, relaxing him with a hot towel and the most comforting tone of voice she can muster, within what felt like several hours, she healed the puncture wound and had made sure he had the ability to breathe, even keeping a conversation with him talking about anything and everything, sometimes talking about her family and sibling. 

Impressed with her quirk he commended her and thanked her profusely, calling her an 'angel' of all things, making the ex pro brim with relief and exuding pride from every orifice, Dabi remaining close to her to see her in action. Also because she had a natural radiant pull to him he couldnt put his finger on, he chalked it up to her being so sweet and generous to a bunch of nightmarish degenerates like the league. 

Shigaraki, on the other hand, kept his distance, eyes trained on her like a Tiger to prey who knew of his whereabouts, skeptical and wary of her in general, a hero turned villain in such a short time is jarring, he couldn't trust it- to say the least, but she had to fit into work with them.. when she was around his dialogue with her was short and curt, staring too long at her made her feel nervous, he liked that, knew her place with them in the league and where she stood as a villain.

It was a particularly long Saturday night, the rain coming down like a monsoon, some members of LOV had just returned with their spoils after robbing a convenience store of all their food and necessities, Toga had taken advantage of her quirk to go 'shopping' as a nobody student from UA for new clothes, disguises, and snacks for her new friend.

 Toga was cryptic about this surprise since the moment Chiaki woke up that morning, she had insisted on hanging out with Chiaki to take her attention from the tall dark and handsome man who had yet to return since Twice was still gone with him.. Toga stood outside of the bathroom, keeping her ear pressed flush against it listening to her try on clothes.

"Chiiiiaaaaki-chan? Put your new threads on yet, beautiful?" Toga called to her getting changed in the bathroom, she had taken the liberty of 'borrowing' a couple hundreds of dollars worth of clothes for her to wear so she's not wearing only the hoodie she came in. 

"Almost.. did you have to get me a pushup bra?" She chirps behind the door pulling the tube-topped romper up her body and snapping on her chest, a simple but… really expensive looking purple, white, and yellow flannel shirt she pulled on, followed by kitted out combat boots with metal plating on the toe and heel, some shiny steel running up the sides as well whether for aesthetics or for actual combat she didn't know yet.

 "Well ya know Dabi and I need something nice to look at too, hun. Who knows maybe if you put out more maybe you'll get lucky"

 Chiaki snorts loudly, while Chaiki and him were not that serious yet...she shares his bed and even goes out of her way to make sure he's healed and ok when he returns which was twice this week alone, it was a welcomed sort of comfort he never knew he needed, a sense of being and safety, that sort of life is very fleeting. Especially for criminals like him and he knew this, he didn't have any plans of making her anything more than his accomplice, a partner in crime for when the day comes where he leaves the League.

Chiaki exits the bathroom in the outfit that fit her too well, her long two-toned hair down, she actually killed the look pretty nice. 

Toga’s eyes widened and a giddy look on her face sprawled from ear to ear, the girl bounced over to her and took her by the hand. 

"oooo! You're such a looker! I think the girls here could be showier but I can tell you want to leave a little to the imagination, I  think Dabi would like to see more skin~" she winks and gives a little tug to the front of the suit, the new little pieces of Jewelry that were given to her hung just shy of the swell of her chest tinkled at the movements

  "I mean like i guess. I can’t just parade around with them on full display, how much of a spectacle do you want me to be?" 

Chiaki says as she notices Himiko staring right over her shoulder and up Chiaki gulps and whips her head around to see Dabi, dripping in water looming behind her like a shadow, his thumbs thrusted into his front pockets, arching forward as the shirt clung to his front from the rain as well as his spiky inky black hair to his forehead, all while grinning like a Cheshire cat down at the woman he shares his room with.

  "I wouldn't mind that, little mouse." His sweet velvety voice humors her and chuckles to himself moving to loom above the woman, examining her pretty face for any sign of protest as his hand slid into his pocket and one into his wet hair.

Chiaki blushes brightly as well as Himiko thoroughly enjoying the little trap she set up, Himiko's hand finding her own cheek and winking devilishly. 

"Hehe oops! Mighta saw him the whole time behind ya, Chiaki-chan~ my bad! Seeing you flustered is super cute anyway.. Ill see you two later." the little homicidal girl turns on her heel and trots away "you suck Toga."

  She calls out tucking platinum-blonde hair behind her ear and crossing her arms over her chest, foolishly avoiding the bright blue eyes that bore holes through her head.

"So...Toga went 'shopping' for you? That's sweet.. I’ll remember to look for things in your size when I’m out again." Chiaki lifts her head and cocks a brow at him and gently pokes a finger into his chest, the white tee he sported always looked as if it was about to fall off him from how low the cut is. 

"Oh c'mon now, you wouldn't know what i'd like to wear if it hit you in the head, your clothes look like they'll turn to cinders at any moment" she pulls the loose tee from him and lets it stick back to his belly. “Pff.. when they're not soaking wet like i went for a swim, maybe.” He chuckles “How the heck could men even walk around like this and not feel uncomfortable.. I get even a little water on me and I feel like I need to change." He stands back and wrings some water from his shirt out onto the floor, listening to her words and keeping mind of how her voice dips when she questions him like a mother worried for her child's health.

 “Unlike women i don't have a reason to cover my chest all the time, not that i'm saying i've looked or anything but that sweatshirt you came in didnt do you much justice.” His voice remained flat and his lips lined straight as if he didn't just make a jab at the fact she's physically ‘gifted’. 

“It was raining that day and i wasn't about to take a whole wardrobe with me, and I can't tell if your being charming or an ass” Dabi’s eyes remained trained on the woman before him, pretty sapphire eyes that made her nervous, they were occasionally void of emotion but when he looked at her she saw some little twinkle in his eye, like he had plans for her he just didnt know what for yet; another reason why she's so sweet and chummy with him. 

“Could be both could be neither, got a problem with that, mouse? I could just go around shirtless all the time” She rolls her eyes and leans all the way back and her brain flashes back to the first and only time she's seen him shirtless, the first night they met and she stayed in his bed. 

The rest of the nights she would go to sleep without him to accompany her, his little solo missions going without her knowing where he was or when he would return; he did however return and when he did he would watch her sleep with the tv on and watch whatever movie she had on. 

Getting to know her interests while she slept was easy to do, sitting up late and having a cigarette, making fun of the way she snores and mumbles in her sleep. Down to looking at the 8 gold earrings in her ears, little gold hoops that hugged her lobes from the top of her ear to the bottom. This sort of thing was a part of his plan to get to know her alittle bit more, his future accomplice. 

The strange young ex-hero raised hundreds of questions for him.

"But of course I think you would have a problem with that,” He commented, startling her from her thoughts, he shook remaining water from his choppy black hair and glowerered down at her with a heady look in his eye, whether it was actually him becoming flirtatious or joking around is left up to debate, maybe ti was just to mess with her and make her flustered. “I wouldn't want to.. 'be a spectacle'... a man has to leave at least 'a little to the imagination'." He chuckled darkly, his smile returning to his face to make her more flustered then she already is.

Chiaki’s face became more flushed pink, Dabi closed the gap, and left only about a foot or so between them both, the gesture purely meant to make her nervous and give him all her attention, since she seemed momentarily distracted. 

Despite the height difference she had an impact on him he couldn’t overlook, both with her quirk and her charm. Chiaki had an appeal to her that was new and one he wasn't even close to becoming bored of. 

He didn't know much of her yet but he desperately wanted to break down those walls and get to know her at her most raw, have some control over something in his life, something consistent. 

"I dont think wet clothes… constitutes as little to the imagination, Dabi.." she feels her heart get momentarily caught in her throat.

Dabi looked her up and down, his hands anchored on either side of her head making Chiaki's eyes widen and a blush creep up her neck, his face dipping down abit closer to fluster the woman before him 

“Hm.. so you’re saying you’d prefer to see me shirtless more, eh?" His head dips down just slightly, his intense blue eyes never wavering from her own. "Th-Thats not what i meant! I mean I have looked but… cant blame a girl for looking, Dabi..." She rises to her tippy toes finally working up enough courage to kiss him, Dabie remained unmoving but parting his lips with his eyes half lidded, before the moment is cut short by Kurogiri placing a hand on her shoulder and pulling her attention from Dabi in a snap.

“Huh?” She jumps and looks the second in command in the face with a blush. “Our leader has returned and has some injuries that needed to be tended to. See him immediately.” He commanded and left her shell shocked for a moment, eyes flickering from Kurogiri back to Dabi, embarrassment coursing through her veins and she wished for a split second she could fade away and vanish like her mom's quirk allows her. Dabi rose back up and sneered, peering down the hallway to where Kurogiri left. “it's about damn time he asks to see you.. Talk about timing huh?” He rasps and backs away from her.

“I-I'm sorry we can-” He shakes his head, with a light chuckle. “Not now, little mouse, besides…” He pinches her soft cheek between his thumb and index finger, she closes her eye and his hand flattens gently against her face, long fingers with calloused pads graze over her skin and the cold staples touch her cheek.

 “I dont think your ready for me yet… dont need you making a mistake and ruining this little companionship we have going on so far,” He holds her chin when he sees the look of sadness wash over her eyes. “Hey.. im not rejecting you, silly little mouse. We sleep in the same bed for fucks sake.. Besides.. We have alot to talk about after your done with...the flaky motherfucker upstairs…” His thumb swipes her bottom lip and he pulls away. “Pretty lips like yours need to be savored, appreciated in time…now.. go to him before he bitches and moans…” He growls and uses the heel of his hand to bump out a cigarette and light it with his fingers. 

She turns on her heel red in the face and trots to the opposite side of the building to the door with the most… dust on the floor. 

Chiaki contemplates how she holds her fist to knock and raps on the door, her sweet voice calling to the evil hidden behind it. “Shigaraki? It’s Chiaki… Kurogiri sent me to take care of your wounds.” She goes to open the door only to be met with resistance to the doorknob and it being opened quickly, a leering face hovering inches away from him, followed by white and blue toned hair. He was a lot less intimidating than he presented himself to be. She couldn’t describe it properly..

 “Oh. It’s you…” He turned his back to her, the blood seeping through his shirt as he staggered back into the half-darkened room a hunch to him. “I told Kurogiri I’m fine but if he’s going to.. Make a big fucking deal about it...get in here and shut the door, Ikeru...” He commands and she follows him. 

The tall gangly man striding right in and sitting on the edge of his bed moving his controller to the side, he had a tv on with a video game paused awaiting him with heavy metal coming from the tv itself. 

She looks around and furrows her brows when his shirt is lifted above his head, a loud hiss comes from his chapped lips. 

“God.. dammit… shit stings.. Augh you better be worth the trouble…” He groans, moving and wincing, she kneels on the bed behind him and within seconds he’s got the controller back in hand.  “Just relax. I know what i'm doing, Tomura..” she cracks her fingers and a soft glow emits from her palm as she looks over the wounds in his back.. They were fatal at best.

 Deep gunshot wounds and even some exit wounds from his front. “How the hell are you not dead..” She says placing a hand on top of the open wounds earning a snarl and a loud expletive. 

“FUCK! Warn me when you do that!” She recoils her hand as he whips his head around. His high pitch grating voice startling her and shaking the room almost, the look of fear in her eyed as he flexed his hand open and close. She looks down and nods her head apologetically. “I wont do it again ill let you know, Tomu-” she starts and lifts her head to look at him and he interjects. “Its boss to you.. Got it?” His voice becomes grave, she takes in a breath and offers a weirdly out-of-place smile.. “Yessir.” 

His whole body cringes at the very sight of her being so calm about the situation.. His attention is redirected to the tv screen and hes back to playing his game. “Im gonna touch that spot again, boss.” He groans annoyed already, she warns and places that hand on his back and he flinches instinctually from the contact. She watches over his shoulder, him playing a violent video game, his character decked out in the most overpowered armor and weapon he can find. She lets out a breathy chuckle watching him struggle with a boss and get killed, he cracks his jaw and shakes his head. His free hand going to his neck to scratch in frustration. 

“I used to play that game a lot. Still do actually. You do know there’s a dual axe weapon on top of the spire to face that boss right. Greatswords don’t do shit to him.” She boasts behind him, concentrating all her energy straight into his back. Shigaraki’s eyes grew wide and he turned his head slowly to look at her.

 “You play videogames?” He stared wide eyed at her,  Chiaki shrugs and smirks.

 “Yea, played alot while i was in UA.” She chuckles and it only makes him narrow his eyes and slowly turn his head back around, his tongue sucking his teeth and paying attention to the screen as he went in the direction she mentioned. “Other hands going for your back.” She states, Shigaraki grunts and furrows his brows as her other hand meets his hard back, his musculature was strange; skinny but dense muscles. 

He claims the dual axes and checks their stats and he nods and leans a bit back into her hands. “Thanks…” He mutters and goes to face the boss he was struggling with, succeeding after the first round and he snickers awkwardly and goes back to complete silence. “Y'know probably would have dusted this controller had you not told me that.” The ex-pro beamed and her very essence radiated from her to the point Shigaraki shook and raised his shoulders in a weird feeling of discomfort. The positive energy was all too unfamiliar to him, he noted this being a part of her quirk, making him cringe.

 “Thank you, boss, happy to help.” He scoffs and feels her wipe the dried blood away. “Heh. Shut your mouth, don't be an ass kiss, bitch.” he growled and when she pulled her hands away from his back she shot back at him with a laugh “Not so much an ass kiss more of which just bein genuine.” “GENuine...that’s new,” He laughed, his high pitch voice dropping an octave as he puts his controller in his lap as a cutscene starts up for the next level.

 “If you couldn’t tell already, I'm not so much...used to people being nice or…*genuine*. Mostly used to people being conniving and doing for themselves.. The amount of people who joined us to try and do something idiotic is at best impressive and fucking stupid… coming in trying to call shots to people who already know what they want and know where there going.” She listened sitting beside him on the bed, his voice straining when he spoke of people doing things for themselves, his fingers flexed and curled when he looked at her, she knew what disaster those very hands can bring. 

It made her wary and extremely aware of her own mortality. 

“When Dabi mentioned you about a couple months ago, we couldn’t find a damn thing about you… why is that?” He sits back and his voice wavers in the sentence emphasizing words to make her wary. She did her best to not bend or falter.

 “You're not like AllMight or any of the other pros so why couldn’t we find a damn thing on you...You're out in the public eye every time we looked up news coverage of you. Everything seems surface level, your name, age.. hero name..hell we’ve even fought you on numerous occasions, almost had all 5 fingers around that neck of yours.” His eyes were staring at her beyond the long hair.

 As if analyzing her face for any sign of any irregularities, she caught his eye and almost jumped out of her skin.

"Well, Im 19 and i was like.. Not even a year into the whole pro hero thing, I worked for the heroes society as something fresh and new.” She rubbed her palms together nervously, Shigaraki nodded his head looking forward. 

“i guess you could say, since i am kind of young to be a pro I had this demeanor of being easy to manipulate so they sought me out for big trafficking rings and elaborate mafia rings, find escape convicts to bring back to Tartarus or other Quirk Prisons. I was roped in to be the ‘beacon’ for the agency or me to round them up on my own and bring em in, and with my dad… being a fuckin awful person and a vigilante and my mom being one of the retired pros from America, they wanted to ‘make a new face for heroes’ or whatever..” His entire back was arched forward, hunched to the point where the vertebrae in his back shown through the dense scars that litter his flesh, Chiaki bared her truth and admitted while she put up her hands, showing herself to be vulnerable in the situation, Shigaraki is the most wanted criminal out there anyway, and most volatile as far as lethality goes.

 “I came at my own volition and I hope that.. You find my presence positive in your league, and you find me more than just a ‘private nurse’ and send me out every once in a while, I mean hell I don't even know where we are!” Shigaraki absolutely preened externally, his chest puffing up.. If she was an asskiss-or as good of an accomplice as she entails, he keeps that thought on the forefront of his mind. 

“Don't press your luck. We will find a place for you and you will see plenty of bloodshed, and as far as our whereabouts right now stands,” He turned his head and lifted it back as he directed his focus to the television once again, his red eyes blank and face deadpan, he let out a rumbling breath his chest rising and a wolf line grin spreads across his face, his lips splitting as his teeth ground back and forth. “Before you get to chummy with your boss... “Let's keep it that way, Ikeru Chiaki…” He cracks his fingers long fingers. 

It’s within an hour that Dabi has become antsier, waiting for the woman he's been bunking with to exit Shigaraki’s room, he was seated in the main area where the fully stocked bar was, peering up the stair case for the little woman, no such luck yet.

 He tapped his cigarette and took a long drag of it and turned back forward to look at his reflection in the bars mirror behind the bottles, contemplating if she found solace with Shigaraki over him. It actually made his blood boil as he closed his eyes and put his forehead in his hand, pushing the emotion he was desperately trying to drown out.

Puffing the smoke from his nose he opened his eyes to see Toga standing close to him in the reflection of the bar mirror, it made him jump.

 “Did you see what's been on the news on repeat?” Toga asked him, grabbing his arm and lightly shaking him. 

His eyes were bored and flat. 

“No.. more about us I assume.” He put it between his two tone lips and took a shallow inhale, “No its about Chiaki-chan!” Dabi raised an eyebrow and snuffed out the cigarette, he grabbed the remote and turned on the television hanging up in the bar, the 32 inch tv clicked to life to show the news anchor man with a picture of the hero in her normal gear, In bold text beneath the anchor “PRO HERO WITCH GONE MISSING: DAY #7”

 “The search for the pro hero is still ongoing! She was reported missing in the middle of the night from her friends who came to talk to her, after the fight that morning with the villain known as ‘BlueFlame’ where they were seen to be on common ground, before the building collapsed killing 5 people,” Dabi focused on the tv screen as Spinner, Compress, and Twice entered the room watching the screen of that day. “ the new infiltration specialist is of much importance to the hero society and has a hefty reward for her return alive, her father Negate, offers no word on her return besides the statement ‘she won't be happy to see me’-” Dabi tuned everything else out and stood up from his chair. 

“Infiltration Specialist… you think perhaps she'd be working against us?” Compress asks Dabi who continued to stare at the staircase. “I don’t think she would betray us like that… she has no idea where we are anyway..” After a moment of agonizing silence, he had one thought in mind, and then a foolproof plan, his face remained stoic and unwavering. 

Infiltration specialist. His interest in her is only blossoming.. Beautiful, fresh faced, and new to him, his intentions may be malicious in the long run none of those malicious plans ever involved going against her… in fact he saw her at his side...made his heartthrob in his chest, making him stumble briefly.

He makes it to the door and before he could even knock he heard a familiar female voice curse from behind the door, followed by the bed creaking. His eye twitched and he leaned his head against the door.

 “Goddammit did you have to have the biggest one…” She questioned Dabi's imagination going into a tailspin, he brought his head from the door with his brow furrowed, his head moves closer to the door to confirm if what he heard was actually what he thinks is going on beyond the door. “Bitch, you know i wouldn’t be the best without it...now hold still and this will end quickly.” 

Shigaraki chuckles followed by the bed creaking and him cursing. “Fuck you!” She whines and Dabi pulls his head away from the door his vision going red and his fists clenched as he swung the door wide open only for his heart race to slow down and his hands stopped burning blue as he focused on a shirtless Shigaraki leaning his elbow on Chiaki’s shoulder as they played that goddamned video game.

“Oh hey Dabi! Sorry, i didn’t come out sooner, Tomura gave me another controller-god fuckign damn you and your stupid ultimate!” She cusses as she loses against Shigaraki, miserably at that… Shigaraki groaned loudly as he pinched his brow, grabbing a shirt that she gave him that he neglected to put on. Shigaraki puts his controller down and turns to look at him. “What do you want.. Better be good for barging in like that, Dabi…” He glowers teeth clenched tightly in his jaw, punctuating his name.

 “So that wasn't…- anyway, so when you were a hero… you were an Infiltration specialist… That's why we couldn't find anything on you. Right?” she nods and tilts her head confused 

"y-yeah how'd you know that? I only just told Shigaraki." She questioned, Shigaraki's eyes flickering over to her, knowing this already. 

"Your secret is all over the news." Her eyes widened and she blunk quickly watching Shigaraki turn on the other tv and flick to the news shown her face and the news caster. "Ill tell ya.. if you were still a hero id say your cover was blown by whatever shitty agency revealed to the world that your a covert type'a hero, sucks honestly." He tsks and returns his attention to Shigaraki, a  knowing grin spread slowly across his face. 

"What the hell are ya lookin at me like that for, eh?" Shigarakis eyes narrowed and his voice became raspy and on edge. 

"I have a plan… and this little ‘pro’ is at the core of that very plan." Shigaraki tilts his head and looks to her his jaw tightening once again. "Can you two plan… not in here… if you're thinking how I think your… thinking… i'd like to dwell on it.." Chiaki moves from near Shigaraki to Dabi’s side, his eyes following her, a little glimmer of pride rose in his chest when she stood mere several inches from his side, her presence really is something, and damn sure didn't want her positive energy anywhere near Shigaraki of all people.

"You almost said think again, did you?" he bit his tongue and scratched at his neck. "Grr… Get the hell out." He points to the door. 

Within seconds Dabi was back at the door and holding it open for her,. Shigaraki sat back down and spoke up, his high pitch voice catching her attention and annoying Dabi.

 "Chiaki." 

She turned to look at his head half turned, as he starts up again. "Ill need another player two sometime so don't be a stranger, bitch.” He let out a noise something close to a chuckle as Dabi closed the door back on him. Shutting the Leader away in the other room. 

“You have a plan involving me, you say?” She bumps his arm and follows him down the hall, side by side, who tucked his hands again in his pockets, his eyes trained ahead and unblinking like hes analyzing his plan in front of him. “Mhmmmmm, but you have to keep it between you and me for now, got it.” He says beneath his breath, slowing down to keep pace with her, he notes how much smaller he is compared to her. 

”Yessir! As long as i can actually do something ill be happy with it.” She chirps, almost excited, excited to be a part of something then just being a nurse. Dabi hums at her exuberance and pushes the door open for her, getting a good look at her back as she walks right in; her flannel fluttering behind her.  

“Hm, don't get used to saying that, i might like it.” Dabi turns on the light and points her to the rolling desk chair where his computer was set up. “Step into my office, Witch, I have some questions for you.” She rolls her eyes at the mention of her hero name and plops down into the rolling chair of his desk, her legs cross in a very womanly fashion as he starts to pace infront of his bed. “Alright you have my attention what the hell do you need me for.” She asks moving the seat back and forth rotating her waist and facing forward to occupy her brain as she stared straight ahead at him.

 "First." He stops and extends his pointer finger up, not meeting her eyes just yet, his voice still remaining flat and unreadable. 

"I need abit more information about your, specialty here…” His eyes flicker over to her, his hands facing upward and looking to the calluses on his fingertips. “How in the hell have we not heard of this infiltration unit. Is it that covert that there's actual heroes in the agency dont know about it.” He questions facing her entirely, he leans against the desk, absentmindedly rubbing his fingers together as if they were covered in dust.. “As far as I know.. I'm the first one they indicted into the program. Again, due to my age and my quirk its kinda easy to give people a good idea about me but most of the time i dealt with kind of simple minded characters.” She states, her eyes looking at his hands, mildly distracted by how much larger he is in comparison to her. 

Dabi openly flexes his hand allowing her to see the way the staples pull at his textured flayed flesh to his normal hand, hes much closer in fact she has to look almost fully up at him. His entire body silhouettes the white light behind his head, making him look more sinister to the untrained eye, his face however read genuine curiosity, not a sign of threat anywhere on his face. 

“Mind telling me why you haven't turned tail and ran when you met them all.. Any sane person would have split the second they saw any of us.. No less Shigaraki.. you know what they have done, you saw the very day that we met what all of them can do… and you stayed and spoke to them on common ground… even fuckin introduced yourself.” He broadly gestures the same hand up into the air and lets it fall back down to his hip with a thump. She listened to him speak.. His voice soothed her in the strangest way imaginable, that and Dabi kind of liked to hear himself talk. “A pretty face mixing in with abunch of grimy villains.. Most of us driven by Stains ideology like some cultish fanclub gone awol..heh.. Hell you even got mixed up with the zombie man of all things.. Like a beauty and the beast type bullshit…” Dabi leans his head back and she watches his adam's apple bob in his throat as he clears it, his chin lolling back down to make eye contact with her, again making her feel small..

 “I had thought it would take months for them to accept you as their own but… you fit in like a missing link, your gonna make this plan act quickly and i can feel it!" he grinned widely to the point where the staples on his mouth strained and it pulled at the flesh of his face. 

“I do however would like to know: You are being real with me are you? I can trust you with everything I am about to ask of you..” She took a shallow breath and nodded,  "O-of course! I haven't done anything to prove otherwise! I dropped all communication and everything with everyone i knew hell even my old friends from UA to be here.. And you already heard my whole thing with why I wanted to join." He pointed right at her and nodded his head, almost solemnly.

Dabi's eyes shut and he took a deep dramatic breath, "Y'see, this whole thing still makes me hesitant and i don't want to be hesitant with you.” He dragged her and the chair away from the desk and to the center of the room to draw her attention to him as he sauntered around her hypnotically. “Do you, my lil mouse have a single bad bone in your body..” He spins the chair with her in it as he circled her like a shark in blood infested water, she would sometimes look to his gnarled and scarred arm. 

“Answer me.” She snapped his fingers in front of her face, she shuddered and her attention was once again drawn to sapphire blue eyes as she gulped her dry tongue. “Not as much as i would like to admit… no..” She looks down away from him, feeling like a fraud in the face of professionals. “That doesn't change how you see me right?” He halts fully and grabs her shoulder a large hand engulfing her hard musculature..  Her eyes floating back to his face as if magnetically. “Just a bit, not negatively of course, mouse, hell i wasn't born bad.”

 His fingers gently entwined in her light locks, letting his fingers thread through her thick hair slowly each wave going through his fingers slowly as he noted the cold shiver when he allowed it to flutter back down to her shoulder.

“I need you to understand: when I send you on this mission you will come back to *me* with a motivation, a purpose, while it may not be like everyone else here, where most of us are natural born psychopaths and dregs of society, failures, monsters... You will be our little eye into the hero society, to throw a wrench in their plans in the worst way… our wildcard.” He promised her a week ago HE will bring out her potential.. Is this truly where it began? A moment of happenstance where her position as a former Pro can benefit her..  She barely registered the fact hes encircling her again.

 “So.. what exactly is this idea..” She finally questioned him.

 “Getting to that, mouse, getting to that...We have a person in the top 5 who is actually a part of us..A silent partner if you will, You might know him actually from working in your field.” He states bluntly, her eyes widened at the notion.. Top 5… who the hell.

 Before she could even ask, she was cut off. “He has no idea you are even here, he has no idea you're even a blossoming little villain… for all he knows you're a scared little hero who went missing for a long time…He doesn't even come to the base if that says anything about him.. He needs to prove his worth before hes able to join us.. As the number 2 pro hero he needs to stay at arms length.. For our sake and the bases sake..”

Hawks. 

“Winged hero.. Hawks?” She gawps and goes wide eyed. “The very same..”  he sparks up a cigarette and places it betwixt his lips, he dragged her chair to the edge of the bed and sitting down as his knees framed her legs as he spreads his long legs out, he flicks her forehead, in a teasing fashion, making her pout cutely.

 “We have our reasons as to WHY he can't come to the base.. Being number 2 hero publicly being that reason and we can't risk everything to bring bird brain here or our goose is cooked, so to speak.” He chuckles and takes a drag of the cigarette, blowing the cloud out of his nose like a dragon. 

 Dabi leans forward flicking ash on the floor, maintaining eye contact with her as he drops a bombshell on her.

“My plan is to return you to the Heroes.” 

He says flatly and it makes her head jolt back, her eyes widening and her heart clamoring to her throat. 

“Really?” her voice raises a pitch as she cocks a brow, a cute little nervous gleam in her yellow eyes made him almost lose it laughing. "Yup. I'm going to hand you off to Hawks in 2 days and make it look like you were kidnapped, fucked up that big brain of yours, and on the plus side your little friends will be very excited to see you again i'm sure… the big shots will be asking you questions.. Getting intel from you..”

 She looks him over confused. “Isn't that bad though?” “No because you don't know where the hell you are… and.. You have been in the confines of these walls all this week.. Just answer them.. Just don't mention your wanting to become a villain.. Youll look crazy and they will stop questioning you..” He grins knowing exactly what could come from this.. His eyes hungry for the moment she realizes the heroes are nothing but scum of the Earth..

“Are you my mouse?” He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows feigning innocence. “I'm your girl…” He grins widely and takes her hand “Hmph, i knew you were.. Thats my lil mouse…”

The following day came and went, bringing about the evening and Dabi fleshing out his plan to Shigaraki who welcomed it but internally, he fucking loathed it now that hisnew found friend will be missing in action, however if its to get what they desired and to pinpoint locations on where the heroes reside, privately...It was underhanded. Conniving, and mostly her idea.. She knew where to go and how to get there.

After rejecting smokes for about an hour between the villains who sat around and listened to the new recruit eagerly mention how this was her specialty and she wont let any of them down, the mischievous gleam in her eye really captivated Dabi and drew him closer to her.  

At some point early in the evening, hard alcohol was busted out and drank at the bar and Shigaraki was piss drunk passed out on his bed, his shoe stuck in the door frame and what looked like his shirt lain on the floor, the only one looking to be untouched from the obscene amount of booze being Compress and Kurogiri..and for the most part Dabi, whether it be high alcohol tolerance or being ‘designated villain wrangler’ they will never admit what it was.

Chiaki was buzzed.. More then buzzed, three sheets to the wind... Never touching alcohol or hard liquor in her life, it felt freeing, except for the fact the entire building was moving around like a ship at sea and she never got her sea legs.. Dabi on the other hand had a much higher alcohol tolerance then her, practically providing the young woman bottle after bottle of Fireball.

The first shot she described as the hottest thing she ever drank, only for Himiko to make some snide comment about something *Else that could be hot that she can drink*, then another about how sweet and warm her blood will run after some liquid courage in her veins, all while twirling her knife between her digits.

Dabi quickly shut her up with a glare and a menacing threat. Soon she killed the entire bottle with Dabi, leaving it forgotten on the bar as she stays clung to his hip, and for the most part his jacket. He didn't mind, he dragged her up the stairs and scooped her up bridal style when she tripped at the second stair, avoiding her googly eyes that lolled back and forth in her head, he kept her head against his chest with ease, his destination his bedroom, to keep her at ease and keep her under his control.

 While walking to the bedroom he stepped over 3 passed out versions of Twice, one piled on top of the other and one folded down the staircase upside down; that being the actual Twice..Compress nodded to Dabi. “Still not fully knocked out?” He chuckled and dragged Spinner by the ankles into his room. “She was like me when I got plastered the first time… except she kept her clothes on… and didnt barbeque the bar.. Or fucked the barmaid.” Dabi jokes, making the pie-eyed young woman slur something that sounded like a laugh, it made him smile.

He pushed open the bedroom door only to see the little woman look up at him and giggle in a slur. “Heh.. heheheh! Dah-Dahhbiii..” She reaches up to his face and misses entirely, her arm plapping the side of his warm face, his eye blinks and he raises his brow comically . “May i help you, you shitfaced lil mouse.” He lowers her to the bed, her eyes blinking slowly and her eyes going drowsily going back and forth in the room. 

"Why aintchu fucked up.. you drank almost wha I had" she inquires her voice fumbling to make it passed red raw lips. Hereyes trained on Dabis knees as he stood point blank infront of her, her googly eyes focused on the White belt under his white shirt. 

"Self control, mouse.. and you kinda lost it after your second shot." She was shrouded in darkness for a split second before her head popped out of a black hoodie hole that smelled like burnt fabric, she moved her arms into the sleeves and noticed it wasn't like the one she came in. 

She sniffed it and fell backward to the bed, as Dabi stepped away to disrobe his clothing in a room with an open door. "Mmm.. smells like you.." she murmurs, loud enough for him to hear and make his eyes widen, blood surged through his veins getting a wicked lil idea.. "oh it does?" He calls out leaving that room shirtless and now dressed in sweatpants only. "Y'smell like sulphur and-" she takes another whif staring up at the ceiling. Hugging this oversized hoodie to her, he dimmed the lights with a flick of the switch beside him. Leaving one other light on. "Pork? Like.. musk too" he laughed loudly at this causing her to jump. "Thats burnt flesh. Humans smell like pork when fire is strong enough to cook it." Her eyes narrowed at the statement. "Huh.." was all she could muster from her lips. "Dabi.. yknow how easy it is to make people feel good when your me.. super easy.. my quirk i guess is kinda like wiiiiiiildfire." She mocked his voice and flattened her legs out to the end of the bed; he paid mind to where he sat as  he sunk down on the other side of the bed facing away from her as he turned on the tv for a movie.. some white noise wouldn't hurt. "Do ya care if i take this suit off." She mumbles as in her drunken state she fumbles to pry off the body suit from under the sweater. He paid no mind to her thinking she was just mumbling to herself.

Dabi chose a movie and flattened his hair back for a moment with his free hand, cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders from side to side. He saw the suit hit the arm of the couch and blunk just realizing what that was. Then another article followed it. Her bra. 

Dabi amusedly chuckled and turned back to see the doe eyed drunken young woman sipping from a sake bottle she found in his room, sith her legs concealed beneath the blankets.

 He tsked and took it from her hands "dammit.. had to find my stache did you, mouse.." he scolded her and capped it, a scowl when he found it only about 2 shot glasses worth missing from the bottle. 

"whaat! I cant have more?" He turns his head to her half expecting her to have food in his bed and only meeting the sweet drunken face of the ex pro, hair all disheveled and some strands of hair in between her pretty pursed lips. This attraction and want was still fresh to him. He assumed it was part of her quirk that made him feel like this, all warm and fuzzy inside.. another weird feeling that made his stomach feel queasy, couldn't say he didnt like it though.

 "Would much rather not have someone die from alcohol poisoning again in my bed *again*, please…" he tosses it between his hands and stows it under the bed again. "No more."

He states firmly when he brings his head up she's in the center of the mattress and looking at his skin "take a picture, mouse, it lasts longer." She shuffles closer to him and touches his back making him jolt, his brows furrow, absolutely not expecting not even her to touch him where he couldn't see, his very body getting warmer to the touch, at the very point she's touching.

 Almost like in self defence. "D'sit hurt?" Her voice is blunt and almost not even close to a full sentence but he understands drunk speak clearly, he looks at the back of his hands "no. Some spots are more sensitive than others." His voice lowered, almost solemnly, old scars that have long healed on lean dense muscle.

 She pulls her hand away when the heat becomes too much, he hears her squeak. "Don't touch open flames.. might get burnt lil mouse.. i get too much in me and I could lose control of my quirk." He laughs and moves back to be with her, as she shuffles back beneath the sheets.

 "Don burn me like that puleaase" she pouts and flops into the pillows. "Pfff. Wouldnt imagine wanting to unless you have a thing for that." He winks down at her and pushes bright blonde locks from her face and pulls some strands from her lips. 

A wet pink muscle darting out to wet her alcohol dried lips, he watched almost transfixed on the pretty woman in his bed. "Your eyes are prrretty" she draws out the word pretty and a blush creeps across her face, dreamy eyed staring at him. Dabi rolls his eyes and throws an old shirt at the light switch to turn off the light, shrouding them both in semi darkness. "Shuttup." He grumbles, keeping the distance between them reasonable.

 "M'serious, when we first met i thought you were really my type, very sweet and charmin’." He humors her and props his head up on his hand, looking into her pretty yellow eyes, only visible by the light from the tv. 

"Tsk..Stop butterin me up.. Makin me feel like less of a villain and more of a softy.” He scowls and the light from the tv illuminates her once again, she pulls the blanket further up her body making the sweatshirt hike up her thighs abit out of Dabis sight. “Y’kinda were though hehehhe!” She giggled, Dabi humored her to hopefully shut her up. “Its the rugged handsome look or is it the monster look?" She looks away from his face for a moment. "Would you believe its bofadem." He scowls and his eyes narrow again, a growl in his throat, not satisfied with the answer, he doesn't know if he likes an honest drunk all that much..but her flirty behavior was not going to be left alone not by a longshot. "I's an added bonus too. Also your not too bad lookin shirtless." she reaches out to touch his flesh where his collar bone is burnt, with a breath and an irritated growl he snatches her hand, all her attention then turning to his massive hand that caught her small one.

She looks abit hurt when he rejects her advances to touch him, but calms down thinking she's going too fast. 

He sighed and allowed her to look his hand over, unbothered by the fact she's several inches away from him, he analyzed her eyes for any discretion that she could be bullshitting him about his looks.

 It's why hes the most antsy and guarded.

She turned his hand over and dragged her fingertips and nails slowly down the lean forearm, his eyes twitch and his hand splayed open at her touch, graceful fingers moving independently in a dance for her eyes only; all the while, surrendering control of his arm unto her to see what she will do. "Y'know..I cant heal.. ol scars.. can only heal fresh ones.. wish i could help ya out with these..." Her voice is tepid and gentle, only for his ears to hear, it wasnt feigning innocence, it was innocent. "I know what you can do mouse-" He makes an attempt to sooth her. “Im multitalented..i only use my talents on the people i like.. And i like you alot..”

Chiaki slides her hand up to press their palms together. A giant hand dwarfing her own by how simply long his fingers were. Callused and hot like the rest of him, he controlled himself enough to not produce too much heat where she will pull away. He truly didn't want that..

He can feel her pulse hammering in her fingers as he gently curled his fingers bending hers backward slightly and looking back down to her. God the way she looked at him drove his mind in circles, not like a monster, a killer or anything negative.. But someone she adored..

Eyes glazed over in bewilderment. "Hmm.." she hums sweetly, like honey upon his ears.. "what?" He asks "yer hands are be yoo tiful.." he puffs hot air out of his nose. "I feel like your perceptions of beauty are skewed from your binge, mouse…" he teases and she laces their fingers together in a sweet gesture that stuns the Villain in his place, her lips found the juncture of the knuckles of his hands and kissed them lazily, the intimacy and sweetness of the moment lost on him.. He slept with plenty of women, used them and kicked them to the curb.. This one was different.. It sparked something in him..and didn't go out. Like a trick candle on a cake.

 "Hey, hey.. don't start something mouse.. not in the state you're in.." he grumbles and stares down at her, not making any attempt to stop her.

"Why cantchu let me dote on you.." she pouts keeping the back of his hand to her face. His face grew closer to hers the smell of straight alcohol still lived rent free on her breath, "i want you to be conscious to what you and i do… hear me? Its below me to take advantage of you in a state where you can't remember and run.." his voice is grave and serious, it almost makes her frightened if not for the fact hes holding her hand so tightly. 

She nods and shifts her body weight closer to him, he hears her yawn, she releases his hand after another kiss to the scarred flesh. He clears his throat and brings himself over her with just his torso and looks down at her, the covers only covering his back, but from here she can see the extent of the scarification to his neck and chest and just how extensive it was. 

“See. don't look comfortable when you're in that position.. you dont want to be shit faced and being taken advantage of..” She shakes her head and opens her glassy eyes. “Not r'lly...” He nods and lays back down beside her, "thought so.." he pokes her cheek and pries his eyes from her.

 “Sleep. We're going tomorrow.” He yawns and before he could say another word or even look her in the eye, she was asleep. 100 percent zonked out and asleep. He sighed and smirked warmly, he moved to the center of the bed beside her and touched her leg with the pads of his finger tips.. They gently dragged across the smooth flesh of the outside of her thigh to her knee, he became more brave and repeated the motion with his whole hand, slower.. gently digging his fingers into the meat of her leg for a moment. "What the hell did you do to me, Chiaki.." he mumbles, his hand taking in her warmth and radioactive positivity from her quirk ripple into his hand like electricity. 

“Fuck..” He cursed and leaned forward to press a gentle smooch to her forehead..pulling her body close to his, falling asleep with her in his arms.

The morning came and with that.. so did Chiaki's unbelievable hangover, Dabi heard the girl shuffle to the small bathroom he had, he could tell she was crawling, unable to even stand and threw up violently the door to the toilet cracked as she emptied the contents of her stomach. With that he knew his day had just begun as he swung his legs out of bed and stood up, following the sounds of an esophageal exorcism taking place, and laughing at her expense. "Too much booze, hon?" He asked as he held her hair up, collecting pretty long locks in his fists as she got sick, it was almost too sweet for him to do this. He loomed above her. 

"Yup… fuck that sucked.. head hurts.." he chuckled and helped her to her feet. “Don't remember a damn thing of what happened last night do ya.” He raised a brow and turned on the sink letting her wash her face off abit. Cold water replenishing the color to her cheeks. “Not a damn thing...wanna remind me please?” She asked gargling water from a bottle he handed her and spitting some out in the sink to clear her breath abit. “Well if you havent noticed you kinda took off your pants and uh.. Your bra is on my couch.” He tugged the sweat shirt that almost showed off her perky asscheeks to him.

 Her hands darting to the end of the sweat shirt and her eyes going wide. “Did we-” She asks red in the face, her eyes darting to him in the mirror. “Nooo.. I said it last night, its below me to take advantage of someone like you.” She sighed and nodded her head turning back to him. “Thanks…” Dabi rolls his eyes and turns on his heels quickly. 

"No gettin soft on me today, alright mouse? Cmon get dressed. We got things to do today.." he ordered, his tone changing quickly.

The rain was pouring. Just as hard as she met Dabi, thunder roared over head as he summarized the plan over with her, provided her with an implant in her ear to record everything, down to the whereabouts and specific names and places.. Fool proof was an understatement, with her status it was the perfect storm. 

“How long will I be gone from you all..” She asked as he bound her wrists to her back tightly, making sure to make it look uncomfortable, as much as it pained him to see her wince in pain. “As long as we get the information we need.. And we'll come get you, mouse, why.. Sounding a bit nervous.” He asks leaning over her shoulder, guiding her into a cellar and securing a blindfold over her eyes, allowing Dabi to guide her wherever the hell he needs her to go.

 “Kinda. I know this is precautionary but is this necessary?” She asked, hearing a loud wrought iron gate opening and then followed by a vault door, entering a sewer system with water running down the center of the drainage system. 

“If they break you and get where we're at, there's no coming back, mouse. I should be asking you how the heroes interrogate their capture shouldn't i..” He jokes and holds her arms making sure shes walking forward, every so often his hand touches her back, keeping her warm using his quirk effectively in the cold, she moved closer to his side and found his arm hooked over her shoulder, his face still emotionless.

After about what felt like 15 minutes of silent walking they found themselves at a busted out hole in the wall, big enough for bodys to worm their way through. 

“Easy does it..” he mutters, pushing her through the hole to the outside world. 

The only thing indicating to her it's the outside world is the telltale sound of wind whipping around followed by fresh rain on her face. “Cmere, we're here..” SHe followed the sound of his voice and allowed him to guide her into a building. The creaks and moans of the old establishment made her wary and nervous, He stopped her directly inside of an old gas tank, hollowed out from neglect and time passed. “Can I take this off now.” She whispered so her voice wouldn't carry. “Hmhm.. of course.” he undid her blindfold and was greeted with his face again. “Happy to see me?” She shrugged. “Perhaps.. When is he coming..” She asked as he looked to the old burner phone he kept on hand. “10 minutes.. I always show up early, hes more than punctual.. It's borderline annoying.``

 He states stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Well when you're called the fastest hero you kinda have to live up to those expectations.” He rolls his eyes and waits patiently. 

“Gonna miss me?” He scoffs and replies deadpan at first. “Like the flu, nah im joking.. I will. Your company changed the group significantly. Quirk or not your...different.” He winks at her, she shuffles to him to rest her head on his chest, making it a mock hug, he puts his palm on her head and ruffles her pretty dark brown tresses up top.. “Heh.. god your always affectionate huh.. First you get me to appreciate you then you get Twice, Compress, Fuck even Spinner.. Shigaraki was a bit of a shock to the system.. Thus why we got all fucked up that night.”

 He laughed enough to where she saw the staples separate from his mouth for a moment. “Anyway.. In a couple of days… I'll give you your burner back.. And we can chat if ya miss me that much..heh, might even go ‘shopping’ like i promised ya, getcha somethin nice to wear when you get back.” He half pulls the burner phone she used earlier a week ago from his pocket. 

There's a gust of wind and feet tamping on the metal beams above their heads. Dabi raises his finger to his lips and leaves the confines of the empty tankard and looks right up at the hero.. The two exchanging a look before hawks can swoop on down, the longest feather in hand and eyes narrowed. 

“Took ya long enough.” Dabi spoke up his hands leaving his pockets. “It's been hell the past week and a half, I don't want to hear it.. You have been avoiding my calls and everything. What gives.” Hawks questions annoyance and exhaustion plaguing his speech. “I don't have a clue what this problem would be, but in regards to your calls, let's just say we've been busy.. Couldn't really speak amicably with the rest of the League up my ass.” He chuckled much to the hero's chagrin, the tired look on his face said it all.

 It was perfect. “If you must know.. Since that one little dust up in the business district with that Nomu and you.. We haven't seen Witch..” Dabi rocks back on his heels upon the mention of the ex-pro. 

“Ah… Witch.. That pretty lil piece of work.” He chuckled sinisterly, as the feather rose to his neck,an intense scowl splashed across the pros face, Dabi outturned his hand, threateningly. “Ah ah, Hostile already?” Hawks eyes narrowed, like he was at his wits end with people as of late. “Shes been gone since then.. My allegiance with you and the league still stands but the fact shes gone without a fuckin trace since she last saw you makes no sense, where the hell does a PRO go without a trace and all signs lead back to.” Dabi interjected, raising his brow and tilting his head back psychotically. “Back to us huh? Awfully presumptuous of you heroes..”

 Dabi  let his head drop forward and he raised his brow and cocked his head, confused on why the normally level headed hero would be so high strung. He ‘poked the bear’ and asked. “You mentored her, I assume? Were you two love birds.” Hawks scowled. “No. she was my partner for a bit if you must know so the workload wasnt as hectic as it has been lately. But now with crime rate so high the damn commission wont get off MY ass.” 

Dabi boredly pushes the feather blade away. “Tsk.. seems were in the same boat… but in regards to your lady friend i may know something” He turned on his heel and grabbed her from the tank, exchanging one last look between them before Dabi turned her out to see Hawks. The pro took a step back and his face went white, like he saw a ghost.

He went wide eyed, . “Holy shit, kid.”

~~~~~~

Authors note: Ive decided unanimously im making a fucking series and im gonna have fun with it. Enjoy Chiaki shes my gal uwu

[melon-wing]

Dread

I think this one needs a little explanation first. The story was written for @gridoc ‘s amazing Pirate AU wherein Grian is part of the Navy and Doc is a pirate captain. And make sure to also check out @authorforhire ‘s ongoing story, which sounds amazing so far!

I just wanted to write a little snippet set in this universe after the idea kept me awake last night. I hope I did it justice :)

______________________

Grian sat at the bar, finger tracing the rim of his half empty glass, lost in thought. He just couldn’t get his last meeting with Captain Doc out of his head. They had been flirting… hadn’t they? Had he maybe imagined how soft the pirate’s smile had looked? This whole situation was so fucked up. Doc was a pirate and he part of the Navy after all. There was no way they could even dare to have feelings for one another. But… Grian’s heart seemed to disagree with that notion lately. It jumped in joy every time they encountered the ruthless pirate captain out on the sea.

Someone slid up next to Grian at the bar, but he didn’t pay it much attention. It wasn’t like it could be anyone he knew. Their last encounter with Doc’s crew had left their ship damaged and until it was repaired again they were stranded in this town. Most of his mates were already getting their well earned rest, but sleep eluded Grian. Thoughts of a certain captain kept him wide awake.

“Hey, mate. You look like you are searching for the meaning of life at the bottom of that glass.”

Grian startled, finger stopping their circling motion as he looked up at his neighbour. It was a young man with huge innocent eyes and brown hair, wearing a simple light blue shirt. He was holding his own glass of alcohol, so he was probably older than he appeared to be with his bright smile and boyish looks.

“Just a lot to think about.”

“I bet you have. Being in the navy must be one hell of a stressful job.”

Grian tensed at the mention of his occupation, but relaxed when he remembered that he was still wearing his uniform. It wouldn’t take much thinking to know he worked for the navy. And this wasn’t a huge town. News about a navy crew being stranded here had most likely already made the rounds.

“It can be sometimes. You see a lot of things out there at sea…” Grian looked off into the distance, but then shrugged.

“I bet it’s exciting. When I was a child I always dreamt of joining the navy.”, the guy replied, eyes sparkling and an infectious smile on his face.

Grian just had to smile as well and finally turned a little towards the other man, open to a little conversation to stop his mind from wandering.

“Well it’s never too late to join then. I’m Grian by the way. Lieutenant of the Architech.” He held out his hands and the stranger looked at it for a second before shaking it.

“I’m Keralis. I work here as a fisherman. Not as glorious as the navy, but I still get to go out to the sea a lot. So what has you looking into the glass like that, Mr. Grian?”

“Grian’s enough. Not old enough to be a Mister yet”, Grian replied with a chuckle and took a sip from his glass. “And it’s nothing much. Just…” He hesitated. Why did he feel like telling this stranger about some of his problems when he didn’t even talk to his friends about it? But that open smile on Keralis’ face just made him want to talk. And who could be better than a stranger he would never see again? He wouldn’t have to live with any nagging questions or judgement that way. Of course he couldn’t go into too much detail. The guy knew he was navy after all. But maybe it’d help to talk about it.

“Just feelings and stuff. There is this… person. And I’m not sure how I feel about them. We keep on meeting over and over again and we are flirting… At least I think we are. I’m never sure about that to be quite honest. It’s… weird.”

“Why don’t you just ask them?”, Keralis simply asked and Grian had to hold back his laughter at that. The question was asked so innocently. It was sure easy when you didn’t have such a heavy burden to carry.

“’m scared of the answer I think. I’m not sure whether I want them to be seriously interested in me or not. I’m not even sure if I really have deeper feelings for him or if it’s just… just nothing.”

“Him?” Keralis looked at him curiously and Grian blushed at the slip up with the pronouns, but he couldn’t even start worrying when Keralis already calmed his nerves again. “Oh no judging here, don’t worry. I’m on your team as well, so to say.”

Grian smiled at that, already feeling a bond forming with this young stranger he had just met. Sure he wouldn’t be able to talk about every aspect of his problem, but it felt good to talk about some of it.

“So, Mr…. Grian. I think if your problem brings you alone to a bar, sulking over a drink, he probably means something to you. You should talk to him about it.”

Grian chuckled and raised his glass, finishing his beverage in one go. It was weird. Hearing it from some stranger made it sound so much more true than his own mind trying to tell him.

“Maybe… Maybe I should talk to him when we meet next time.” Grian smiled a little, trying to imagine how the proud Captain Doc would react. They’d probably be in the middle of another one of their sword fights, their blades clashing together. And then what? Grian would just tell Doc he liked him there and then? Yeah sure… There was a huge possibility of that ending with Grian being impaled by Doc’s blade.

They kept talking for a while about life out at sea. He told a few stories about his life in the navy and how he got to the position he was in. It was kind of cute the way Keralis looked at him with huge adoring eyes. Maybe he should put in a good word for him back at the navy. Someone who could steer a boat to go fishing for a living could just as well work on one of their ships.

As he finished his final drink, Grian stood up slowly, not really in a hurry to leave his new drinking buddy. He had enjoyed his evening off and the conversation had kept his mind away from other things

“It’s been nice to talk to you, Keralis. And you know, thanks for the help earlier. It’s a pity I have to leave so soon. But I have to check on our ship early tomorrow morning.

Keralis smiled, downing his drink as well and putting the empty glass onto the bar before he hopped off his chair.

“Let my accompany you. Maybe on the way to the inn you could tell me some cool story of life in the navy.”

Grian smiled at the eagerness of his drinking companion and nodded. He tossed a few coins to the bartender before they left the bar together. It was already dark outside. The sky was cloudy and not even the moon was illuminating the streets. But Grian didn’t care much for the darkness. He had spent most of his live on the sea and there had been a lot dark nights out there.

“Oh!” Grian looked to Keralis in confusion at his little exclamation. “I know a shortcut we can take. That way we don’t have to walk past all those bars. There are a lot of drunken people hanging around on the main streets. Wouldn’t want to get into a fight.”

Grian just nodded, following Keralis into a maze of small back alleys. He was just telling a story about the one time their ship was caught in the middle of a massive storm when they turned another corner and walked straight into a dead end. He stopped in the middle of his sentence, looking at the wall in confusion and then back at Keralis.

“I think we made a wrong turn somewhere along the way.”

Keralis laughed a little and scratched his head, looking at Grian apologetically. “Yeah. Damn, I’m sorry. I was so lost in your story. We should have taken a left turn back there. Let’s just…”

The moment they turned around, Keralis’ words died on the tip of his tongue. At the entrance of the alley were two men, swords drawn in front of them, grim looks on their faces. Grian cursed himself internally and took out his own weapon, pushing Keralis behind himself with his free hand.

“Stay back. I’ll handle this…”, he whispered, before raising his voice. “Good evening, gentleman. If you plan to rob us, I’d advice you against it. We just spent all of our money in the bar. We don’t have anything of value.”

One of the guys laughed. A cold laugh that chilled Grian to his bone,

“Oh… But it’s not money we came to steal. It is something far more valuable. Someone more valuable.”

Grian threw a short glance over his shoulder at Keralis and then back to their attackers. The guy who had just spoken shook his head.

“No. Not that boy. It’s you we are after, Grian, rising star of the navy, youngest one to be promoted to first mate. They say in a few years you’ll probably have your own fleet under you.”

Grian tightened the grip on his sword. He was pretty sure those guys were pirates. Nobody else would dare to attack the navy so openly. He had no clue how they knew who he was, but there were a lot of pirates who wanted to get revenge on him or his fellow crew mates out there.

One thing was for sure. Those were not Doc’s crew. They had met so many times now, he was almost on first name basis with all of them. That also meant this was not just another attempt to make him join their pirate crew. The reason they were after him would be far more sinister.

“Well. Nice to hear that you heard of me. I hope you also heard that I haven’t been promoted without a reason.”

Grian didn’t wait for them to attack. He jumped forward, sword clashing with the first pirate, making him stumble back in surprise from the fast attack. A second later he was ducking under the blade of the other guy. He needed to be fast. He needed to get rid of one of them. Their swords clashed again and again. Grian had the upper hand at the moment, but just barely.

Then one of them stumbled and he used the opportunity to disarm him, sword flying away into the darkness. He didn’t give the guy any opportunity to pick up his weapon again, hitting him with the blunt edge of his sword and watching him crumble to the floor.

He raised his blade just in time to parry a hit from the pirate still standing. But looking at the other’s face they both knew that the battle had already been decided. They still kept going. It took Grian another minute to have his opponents blade flying through the air again. His blade sat at the pirates neck, threateningly close to a killing blow.

“So who send you guys?”

“That would be me.” Grian’s head whipped around in shock. He hadn’t heard anyone else coming. And that guy had managed to sneak past him into the dead-end.

Grian’s eyes widened as he saw the newcomer holding Keralis in an iron grip in front of him, a sword pressed under his chin.

“Captain Bdubs. Nice to meet you. Now… Drop your weapon, boy. Or I will kill your little friend.”

Grian hesitated. He knew the moment he dropped his weapon he was done for. Sure, he had a hidden blade on him, but that wouldn’t do him any good in a sword fight

Keralis whimpered quietly and Grian could see tears starting to run down his face.

“Please, Mr. Grian… I don’t want to die…” His voice was nothing more than a whisper, but it still sounded absolutely terrified.

Grian couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sacrifice this guy for his own life. He joined the navy to do good, to protect the people. Slowly he lowered his sword, dropping it to the floor. The clang of the metal echoed through the alley, cementing Grian’s defeat. Slowly he raised his hands and Bdubs grinned menacingly.

His underling quickly picked up Grian’s sword. Bdubs pushed Keralis over to the other pirate, walking up to Grian confidently. With a forceful push Grian’s back hit the wall painfully. Bdubs hands were pressing against his shoulders, keeping him were he was as he leaned forwards. Grian could feel warm breath ghosting over his ear.

“Be happy, navy boy. With your help I will be able to bring an end to Captain Doc’s reign.”

A jolt went through Grian’s body and his eyes widened in shock. He began to struggle, but heard a pained whimper from Keralis to his right and immediately stopped his resistance.

“I won’t help pirate scum like you.”

Bdubs chuckled darkly, one hand caressing Grian’s cheek, the gentleness making Grian feel even more uncomfortable.

“Oh you don’t need to do anything. Just having you in my possession will be his downfall. He’ll come to get his little navy pet.”

“I’m not… I’m not his pet. We are enemies.”

Another laugh passed Bdubs lips as he shook his head, patting Grian’s cheek.

“Grian, Grian, Grian… You and I both know that isn’t true. I have my eyes and ears everywhere. Rumour has it that Captain Doc has a soft spot for you… And I know my Ex-Crewmember better than most. He will come running when word gets out that you are my prisoner. Now,” Bdubs retreated a few steps, his sword pointed in Grian’s direction, “be a good boy and come with us. And no funny business or your friend dies.”

Grian clenched his fists, body trembling. He wanted to fight so badly. He’d never imagined he could be caught in a situation like that. To be used as leverage in a fight between two pirate captains. And while Bdubs had seemed pretty sure that Doc would come to try and rescue him, Grian wasn’t. One thing was for sure. Once Keralis contacted the navy, they at least would come to save him.

Slowly Grian walked through a few more alleys. It didn’t take long for them to come to a bay were a massive ship was sitting. The distance they had walked hadn’t been long enough for Grian to find any opening to escape. He stopped just in front of the ramp going up.

“Up you go, navy boy. No point in turning back now. You won’t make it far.”

“Release your hostage.”

“I promise, once we are up there, we’ll let him go.”

Grian could here the amusement in Bdubs voice. He knew he couldn’t trust a pirate to keep his word. But if he refused Keralis would die. If he complied he’d at least have a chance to survive.

And so he walked up. Each step felt like he was hammering a nail into his own coffin. He could feel the point of the Captain’s blade at his back. As he stepped aboard the ship there was cheering and a lot of sneers directed at him. They looked like they had been expecting him.

“Put some handcuffs on our prisoner! We are setting sail!”

“Wait! Let him go first!”

Grian turned around to glare at Bdubs, who smiled at him and nodded to the guy still holding Keralis. And to Grian’s great relieve he really let go of the hostage, handing Grian’s sword off to his Captain.

“Keralis. Run!”

But he didn’t. Keralis kept standing there and for a second Grian thought he was frozen in fear. That was until he saw the innocent grin from earlier return to his face.

“Oh but why should I? They wouldn’t hurt me.” As he spoke, he walked up to Grian and Bdubs, stopping right next to the captain and leaning against him. “I’m Bubbles’ first mate after all. You know, my lover I told you about earlier? That’s him.”

Grian’s face fell. He had been tricked. This hadn’t been some random encounter. Keralis had started their conversation with the intention of capturing him.

Something in Grian flicked. His arm was grabbed to put him into handcuffs, but he was quicker, He pulled the dagger from his boot and slashed his attacker’s arm who let him go, howling in pain. He sent another pirate close to him stumbling back with a punch to the face, desperately sprinting towards the railing. He needed to get into the water. It was dark. He’d dive a short distance and they’d lose sight of him. He still had a chance. He could…

Bang!

Searing hot pain shot through Grian’s shoulder and the blade fell from his hand as he almost tripped over his feet. The second of delay was enough for multiple hands to grab him. He struggled as hard as he could, scratching and kicking at everyone in range. A hand pressed against the shot wound and he doubled over in pain.

With a click cold Iron shackles snapped close around his wrists. Someone kicked him in the back and he fell forward onto his knees, looking up right into Bdubs grinning face. Keralis was standing right next to him, smiling innocently, the pistol in his hand still smoking a little from the shot.

“Don’t worry, Grian. You won’t be imprisoned for too long. Once Doc walks into our trap you’ll become useless…” Bdubs knelt down, grabbing Grian’s hair and pulling his head backwards. “I want to see the look in his eyes when I put a bullet through your brain right in front of him.”

Pushing Grian away from him and onto the floor, Bdubs stood up again, looking around at his crew.

“Get the prisoner under deck! We are setting sail! Victory…”, He paused a second, smirking at Grian. “...is ours!”

[lattewithatwistoflemon]

Gundam Wing Essay

January 25, 2021

Gundam Wing has this powerful nostalgia for me, even though I didn’t actually watch the show when it came on television when I was little. I just shrugged it off and said I didn’t like Gundams. Yet I’m finding myself drawn to these characters and wondering if, in some subconscious way, this show influenced who I’ve become. From my love of damaged, traumatized bishounen to my inclination to dress exactly like Relena, despite never consciously thinking about her in all these years... I feel like maybe aspects of this anime molded me into who I am today. 

Every time I heard one of my favorite songs, “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None The Richer, there was a couple there in my head, and I couldn’t pinpoint who they were... But after looking at the Gundam manga issue I got when I was 7, where Heero and Relena are in a romantic garden together, and seeing the ending sequence of the anime, where Relena stands in a field wearing that dress and that hat, I can’t help but think “it’s them”. It’s been Heero and Relena in my head all along, as this idealized fairy tale couple, every time I heard that song. Thinking back on my childhood impression of them, I realized I always imagined them as being like Romeo and Juliet, talking to each other over a balcony, over a courtyard garden, in a star-crossed, Shakespearean romance. In my head, they were always so deeply in love. Perhaps they were a symbol of romance itself. I don’t remember if I had seen a specific scene in the anime as a child that made me see them as a couple, or if my memory is just based on that one chapter of the Ground Zero manga, but either way, they were imprinted on my mind as the most quintessential, devoted lovers. She was a fairy tale princess, and he was the gallant knight who would come rescue her. 

Zechs feels like an ideal fairy tale prince... the kind that will kiss my hand, give me roses, and carry me bridal style through a beautiful European garden, to a sweet little white outdoor table, where we drink tea out of fine China teacups, while the sun shines brightly, and the leaves of the trees around us cast shadows upon us that sway with the breeze. Yet Zechs also possesses that same dark, seductive quality of the Phantom of the Opera, whispering in my ear with that voice that’s both sinister and incredibly romantic at the same time, as if luring me into his embrace. Zechs has this beautiful duality to him. He goes down a dark path on multiple occasions, but even so, he feels terrible guilt for what he does. Because of this, he still comes across as honorable and chivalrous to me. Other anime characters that I’ve seen since then have had a similar feel, such as Yue from Cardcaptor Sakura and Griffith from Berserk. I’ve even created original characters for my own stories who are long haired, princely men with ambiguous morals, who I now wonder if they were subconsciously inspired by this one, long-forgotten figure that I had briefly seen as a 7-year-old. I tended to like blonde characters when I was little, and like most little girls, I loved the idea of a perfect, gentlemanly prince charming. I’m genuinely surprised that I didn’t remember him from when I was a child. Perhaps if I had seen those gentle blue eyes beneath the mask, I would’ve fallen in love.

Duo has a much different quality from Zechs. He feels familiar in a way that’s hard to pinpoint. He’s brash, energetic, and laid-back at the same time. He has this friendly, approachable quality to him that the other characters don’t possess. It feels like I can actually get close to him, while all the others feel like they’d push me away. I’ve realized Duo reminds me of various other characters, most of which are from video games, such as Sonic, Dante, and most importantly… Link. Link was my very first crush. My attachment to Link stemmed from the Ocarina of Time game. It wasn’t until many years later that I watched the animated Zelda series, in which Link is very much like Duo. I never thought of myself as being particularly attracted to that version of Link, yet now, when seeing an actual anime character who resembles him in appearance and personality, I find myself incredibly drawn to him. I can’t say for sure whether my attraction to Duo is due to his similarity to Link or to any other character or if it’s simply because of how warm and approachable he feels compared to the other gundam pilots. I remember that Duo’s design always stuck out to me the most, as the cute one with the braid.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been interested in angry, angsty characters who have traumatic backstories. For the longest time, I was under the assumption that Heero would be a basic, friendly protagonist. So when I finally started watching this show 20 years later, I was surprised by him being the type of angst-ridden anti-hero that I love nowadays. When I was 13, I discovered Saiyuki, and instantly obsessed over Genjo Sanzo, who’s exactly like Heero in that sense. His past trauma turned him into a cold, ruthless killer, who, despite his self-loathing, came to the decision that he must continue killing in order to live. While watching Gundam Wing, I saw these same qualities in Heero. Whatever he’s experienced before the start of the anime must have damaged him so badly that he’s become this cold-blooded killer. Judging from how quick he is to throw away his life for his mission, I conclude that he despises himself for all the people he’s killed. Just like Sanzo, he pushes aside that self-loathing to live on and continues fighting for what he believes is right. In addition to Sanzo, another character that I love with a similar personality type is Kai from Beyblade. Although his circumstances aren’t as extreme as Heero’s and Sanzo’s, since he hasn’t killed anyone, he also has a chip on his shoulder from his past trauma that causes him to be cold and put up a wall between himself and the people around him. Out of the characters that I know of who have this personality type, Heero would have been the first one I had seen. Even though I don’t remember knowing that Heero was like this, since I had assumed he was completely different all along, part of me gets this feeling of “what if he was the start of this? What if he’s the reason I love this type of character?” I wonder if it’s possible for him to have influenced my inclination towards these characters without me having any memory of it.

Adding to this topic of traumatized characters, Trowa also fits the bill. His trauma isn’t portrayed as anger against the world, as with the characters listed above. Instead, he’s often depicted as depressed and sometimes frightened, in a way that makes Catherine and myself feel pity for him. When he loses his memory and holds himself, shivering, that is a perfect illustration of the type of characters that I like, due to their vulnerability and need for protection. My very first favorite anime character was Hotaru from Sailor Moon, who very frequently displayed these same actions, which made me instantly love her. Also, Trowa reminds me a lot of Hakkai from Saiyuki.

Both Heero and Trowa are suicidal. Trowa had one or two moments highlighting this, but Heero has had at least 5 instances where it looked to me like he was trying to kill himself. He would often do something incredibly dangerous, without any regard to his own life. In one instance, he very nearly blew himself up, which resulted in him being bed-ridden and covered in bandages. I’ve always had a strong interest in suicidal and self-loathing characters like this. Whether this is from some sort of motherly instinct that makes me want to protect them or some sort of sadistic interest that I have with fictional characters, I’m not entirely sure. But either way, these two Gundam Wing characters stuck out to me very strongly due to their trauma and suicidal intent. Since Heero had always given me the impression of being the epitome of a shounen hero, him being suicidal struck me especially hard, and this just made me like him all the more. Even when I watch more lighthearted shows, I like to headcanon these kinds of things. For instance, I headcanon multiple Beyblade characters to be abused, suicidal child soldiers, so it was interesting to see that these things were canon in Gundam Wing. It’s rare for me to find an anime that focuses on traumatized bishounen characters similar to Saiyuki, so when I realized Gundam Wing was like this, I felt like it was written for me. I’ve come to call this the “pretty boys in need” genre.

Another reason this anime speaks to me is that, whenever I see Relena, I feel like I’m looking at myself as an anime character. Over the years, from high school to college especially, I’d developed my own fashion sense and aesthetic. This consisted of me wanting to wear ruffled blouses and long skirts. I loved feeling like a proper Victorian lady. I wore puffy sleeves, bows, and frills. My favorite colors to wear, which people have said look the best on me, were shades of red, pink, or maroon. I’d also wear a lot of white. My favorite hairstyle has always been straight cut bangs with my hair partly tied back, just like Relena’s. The hairstyle was consciously inspired by Gabrielle from Xena Warrior Princess, but I can’t help but wonder if Relena had some subconscious influence on it as well. My hair is naturally brown, but I was born blonde, and I often bleach my hair, so it’s usually somewhere close to her dark blond/light brown hair. My eyes are also dark teal, like Relena’s. Although I’ve lately been working a lot and hardly have the chance to dress up, I still see this Victorian princess image as my ideal appearance, which makes Relena feel like an idealized anime version of myself. I feel like I’ve grown to become her. Although, this comparison is almost strictly appearance-based. Some people say I’m serious, but in general, I don’t feel like I’m nearly as serious as she is. My life revolves around anime (certainly not politics), and I’m known to be very giggly. Although Relena and I do share an interest in angsty bad boys. I can’t help but wonder if maybe, somewhere deep down in my subconscious, I always wanted to be like her?

Lastly, the entire aesthetic and feel of this show feels incredibly nostalgic to me. There’s a scene in the second opening, where Heero suddenly looks up at the camera in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. I’ve been having trouble figuring out exactly what the feeling is that this evokes for me. I’ll say it’s a mix of sweet nostalgia and perhaps guilt. The characters’ faces and art style are so incredibly familiar to me. I’ve known of them since I was 7, but I never gave the show a chance by trying to watch it. I told myself I didn’t like it, after seeing a couple minutes, because I very quickly came to the conclusion that I didn’t like mecha anime. I was only 7, yet this opinion stuck with me for 20 years, without me ever trying to change it. Over the years, I had almost completely forgotten about Gundam Wing. I shunned the show. Perhaps I shunned Heero most of all, with my assumption that he’s a normal, cliche shounen protagonist. So when he looks directly at the screen like that, while I’m captivated by the familiar beauty of the art style, I also feel a pang of guilt for neglecting him all these years. 

I think the best way for me to conclude what it is about this series that makes me feel so strongly is that this space opera genre possesses the feeling of an Arthurian romance or a Shakespearean tragedy. While watching this show, my mind isn’t focused on the battles or the gundams. What draws me to this show are the characters’ relationships, emotional trauma, and the visual allusions to times long ago. Because of this, the small, barely remembered bits that I had seen as a small child had left such a big impact on me that, now, when I watch it for the first time, it feels like it’s been living inside my soul all along. When I watch this anime, I get this feeling that I can’t believe I’m actually watching it. As something from a bygone era that I had quickly discarded and never thought I would ever get back, it feels like some sort of miracle, as if I had gone back in time to watch this long-forgotten relic of my past.

Leah Marie

[localhorrornerd]

31 Horror Movies for the Halloween Season

Well.. It’s a little bit over 31 bc of sequels and such but it’s a fun title for horror recs! For the record these are in no particular order in like what’s the best or anything! It’s just a list of horror movie recommendations that might get you in the Halloween mood. I tried not to have huge well-known movies on here, but I did throw in a few just because I love them and couldn’t resist. I did try to add small descriptions for each one, but given there’s like 31 movies on here, they are rather short. Either way, hopefully you’ll find one or a couple movies here that you’re interested in!

1. Trick ‘r Treat

A rather well-known one but is it really a list without Trick ‘r Treat? A fun horror anthology with four different stories that connect to each other in some way - including the fact they all take place on Halloween night! A fun one to actually watch on Halloween.

2. Hell House LLC

For the record there are two sequels (Hell House LLC 2: The Abaddon Hotel & Hell House LLC 3: Lake of Fire), however I have not seen either of them so can’t include them here, but if you want to watch them I’d say go check them out! Basically it’s a documentary style type film that follows what happened up to the days a horrible tragedy took place on the opening night of a haunted house attraction. No one knows exactly what actually went down, so the reason for the documentary is to attempt to figure out what truly happened that night.

3. Repo! The Genetic Opera

A horror musical! It’s set in a future where organ failure is extremely common so naturally a huge company comes along and is like “Okay you can have an organ transplant, but you have a huge payment plan and if you can’t pay then we’re just gonna kill you and take your organs back.” Also it has so many good songs would highly recommend if you haven’t seen it (and you can stomach a bit of gore).

4. The Devil’s Carnival & Alleluia! The Devil’s Carnival

Another horror musical! And done by the same people who did Repo! For the record The Devil’s Carnival is only about an hour long but the sequel is a full length movie! A short quick explanation is that it’s set in Hell (unsurprisingly) and follows the people who end up there - also during this the Devil is planning an attack - but I’ll let you find out the rest if you haven’t seen it yet.

5. Ju-On and/or The Grudge (Any Film)

It’s my favorite horror franchise, so of course Ju-On was gonna end up on here! Whether it be the original Japanese films or the American remakes, it follows vengeful spirits who were murdered in their home and are taking revenge on anyone who enters.

6. Sinister & Sinister 2

Okay I know Sinister 2 is one not very well liked, but since I have seen it I decided I might as well include it (though I don’t really remember my thoughts on it it’s been a while). Video tapes that contain children murdering their families and a mysterious being that may be at the center of it is the basic plot for these movies.

7. Tragedy Girls

Basically you got two best friends who capture a serial killer because they themselves want to become serial killers! Don’t wanna say too much outside of that, as that is the basic plot concept honestly, but it’s a really fun movie.

8. The Final Girls

A girl dealing with the anniversary of her mother’s death ends up, with a small group of others, stuck in a horror movie that her mother actually starred in. Okay as much fun as this one is it does pull on the heart strings a bit I gotta admit. But it’s truly great and naturally has a feel of an older slasher movie.

9. You Might be the Killer

Another one that’s got that older slasher movie vibe as it takes place at a camp. One where the counselors are getting picked off one by one by a masked killer. Comes in our protagonist, who is calling his friend, who isn’t at the camp and also is a huge horror enthusiast, for help to figure out what to do and maybe figure out what’s going on/who the killer is.

10. Danur (aka Danur: I Can See Ghosts)

A young girl who just wants friends finds them in the form of three potentially paranormal ones. Though it seemingly being just a childhood thing, it actually becomes of great importance as she gets older. This movie also has a sequel, Danur 2: Maddah.

11. Fright Night

For the record I am talking about the remake here, as I have not seen the original, but if you would prefer to watch that one - or maybe even both - go for it! Basically, teen starts to believe his new neighbor is a vampire after more and more people go missing. Also David Tennant is there if you go with the remake so that’s always fun!

12. Tales of Halloween

Admittedly I wasn’t too into this film, but I know a lot of people like it! Not too much to say, it’s a horror anthology with 10 different segments that take place on Halloween! So you’re bound to find something you enjoy within it, whether it be the paranormal, witches, or even just dumb fun horror comedy antics.

13. The Tag-Along

Based on an urban legend from Taiwan, “The Little Girl in Red”, it focuses on a man and his girlfriend. Of which the man’s grandmother suddenly goes missing one day - eventually leading to him discovering clues of a potential unknown little girl who had began following his grandmother around. There are two sequels to this movie as well that I have not seen yet, that being The Tag-Along 2 & The Tag-Along: The Devil Fish.

14. Three... Extremes

Another anthology film that contains three separate stories, each one coming from a different East Asian country. It also has a prequel, Three (or 3... Extremes II in the U.S.), and a full length film made from one of the stories within it, Dumplings.

15. The Hallow

Really feel like the point of this movie is like ‘Don’t fuck with the woods’. As it basically focuses on a couple and their baby, who seems to be the target for the odd things happening to them that seems rather connected to the woods nearby.

16. The Devil’s Candy

A man moves with his family into a new home, and slowly begins to feel as though something is possessing him in a sense. That and also the potential fact his family is being targeted by the previous resident of the home.

17. Wake Wood

Apparently FMA did not teach us not to fuck with the dead enough, so here’s a movie about a grieving couple that lost their daughter who move into a town that holds the power to bring someone back from the dead for only 3 days. Unfortunately like FMA, things go horribly wrong (just not... in the same way as FMA).

18. The Cabin in the Woods

College students go out to a cabin in the woods in which things quickly take a turn for the worst. Seems simple enough, but it’s so much more complicated than that - however I won’t be sharing any of those details for those who haven’t watched it yet.

19. Prevenge

A pregnant woman who’s husband has recently passed away, believes that her unborn child wants her to track down and kill everyone who was involved in the accident. An extremely wild but honestly rather fun time.

20. You’re Next

Home invasion, baby! In which everything goes to hell for a family and their partners when masked killers start trying to kill everyone there. Though things take a turn quick and you start to wonder who is really the ones being hunted down here. (A fairly well known one, but I had to recommend it given one of my favorite characters in horror is in this movie)

21. Kuronezumi (aka Black Rat)

Not too much to say here basic plot wise. Six students receive texts from their dead classmate, they follow as the texts ask and go to the school at night, and then start getting targeted by a killer wearing a rat mask.

22. Lights Out

A family potentially being haunted by a creature that only appears when the lights go out? Plus a whole lot of family drama? Always fun truly! It’s also somewhat based off a viral short film of the same name that the director had made before he got to make it a full length film.

23. Absentia

Absolutely had to put a Mike Flanagan movie on here. One that focuses on a pregnant woman who’s started towards attempting to move on with her life after her husband disappeared seven years ago. However, as she takes a huge step towards doing so, something rather odd happens - which I’ll let you find out for yourself if you choose to watch it.

24. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Perhaps it’s because it’s the one Halloween movie without Michael Myers, or perhaps it’s because I was blanking out on movies I watched that aren’t extremely well-known, but I felt the need to add this one on here. It focuses on this man who is out to kill children on Halloween by using a line of Halloween masks. So basically another fun one to watch on Halloween!

25. The Barn

Teenagers go to a barn where there’s a supposed curse that can awaken Halloween-themed monsters on Halloween night. What could possibly go wrong? Honestly another one that would be a lot of fun to actually watch on Halloween.

26. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

A really fun documentary type film where it’s set in a world where iconic horror slashers are actually real! And a documentary crew are out to make a movie centered around Leslie Vernon, who wishes to go down in history as another one of the famous slashers. This one is really just *chef’s kiss* to me, very much recommend if you haven’t seen it.

27. Creep & Creep 2

Found footage type films in which we follow people who are hired by this rather concerning man to film him. That’s really all I can say unfortunately without trying to give away too much.

28. What We Do in the Shadows

Another documentary-style type movie! It tends to be more comedic than it is horror, but it follows  a group of vampires that live together! Sort of documenting their lives and how they survive day by day. Honestly it’s so ridiculous and hilarious, and I know many people have seen it by now but I have to recommend it none the less as it’s one of my favorites. Plus, it also has an equally hilarious tv series now that you can also give a watch!

29. The Banana Splits Movie

Who doesn’t want to see the Banana Splits as animatronics that start randomly slaughtering people after the news that their show is going to be cancelled? Honestly it’s really just a fun, ridiculous movie that isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Perhaps something to watch with friends to get in the mood for Halloween.

30. The Last Exorcism

Another one that has a sequel I have not seen: The Last Exorcism Part II. Another documentary style film (Sorry I added so many of these whoops), that follows a reverend who goes around performing fake exorcisms. Things start getting a bit more complicated though when lines start beginning to blur between what is real and what is fake while doing his current “exorcism” he was asked to perform.

31. V/H/S & V/H/S 2

There is also a third film, V/H/S: Viral, however I have not seen that one. Not too much to say here, they’re basically just an anthology of short horror films that are supposedly being shown from VHS tapes.

[diveronaevents]

AUTHOR: Minnie

TRIGGERS: Murder mentions, implied suicide, death

SUMMARY: After learning the truth of her mother’s death, MIRANDA begs her Papa to run from Verona with her. He refuses, and MIRANDA must decide whether she can live without him. (She cannot.)

As of May 29, MIRANDA is dead. The news of her death spreads through the Capulets through gossip and whispers. The city is fully aware that she has committed suicide — though only VOLUMNIA and ARIEL have any inkling as to why. Her funeral will be JUNE 2.

MAY 22. 

Home. She is heading home.

Didn’t that meant something to her, once? Home is supposed to anchor her, and bring Maeve back to herself when she no longer recognizes the wild fear in her eyes or the calloused surface of her hands from a knife held too tightly for too long.

Somewhere along the way, the road becomes steep. The cracks on the pavement gives way to weeds and thorny brambles that slows her every step. Home is a broken and cruel word, and it chains her to the ache she cannot dislodge from her bones.

You’ll understand when you’re older, Papa says. He looks so sad, and she is so naive. It isn’t grief at all, like she thinks. It is the hopeless look of the dying, who has waded too far into the deep sea to even think of swimming back. In vain, he tries to spare his daughter. In vain, he tries to keep her in the light.

How could Maeve have understood? She doesn’t realize how far and wide the dark could get. A child, she wants only to follow her Papa and drag him out with small, unscarred hands.

The sky has swallowed the sun and the moon in its mouth, leaving only the lamplights to light her way. Maeve walks like a boulder is tied to each ankle. Her very expression is tired of wearing her emotions like a shield; without her heart in her eyes, Maeve resembles more zombie than girl. People shudder as they pass her in the streets.

Home waits for her, and it will consume her now that the truth has shattered whatever illusions Maeve has left. She knowingly pushes forward to confront the abyss that awaits her.

Her Papa is cleaning his gun at a table when she opens the door. A laugh gets tangled up in her throat and dies before Maeve can make a sound. Is this normal? Is this the picture of a happy life and a happy family that she dreamt?

“Where have you been?” He doesn’t meet her eyes. For a moment, Maeve wonders if he already knows. But then she remembers that he is still holding onto his pride. In the beginning, he had been furious, but the purity of a single feeling wears out her father to the bone. Exhausted, he has already let go of his anger. Stubbornly, he does not lower his defenses.

Maeve steps out of her shoes and closes the door behind her. “I’ve been asking questions.”

“Never a good sign.” Her Papa sets the gun down. When he looks at her, Maeve searches for the man she wants to see. A good man. An honest man. Has he always looked so empty?

“Questions about Mamma.”

His fingers twitch, and Maeve knows he wants to take the gun into his grip again. Something to protect him, as if a weapon will carve out the part of him that are weak and human — the parts she loves most. Everything she wants him to be, he will claw out from under his own skin.

She’s always known it. For the first time, Maeve is willing to get on her knees and beg for him to prove her wrong. Before, the thought terrified her. Who is she if her Papa scorns her? What is she left with if her Papa denies her? There is too much at stake to even ask the question, but Maeve doesn’t need to ask to know that irreparably, Philip Petre loved — loves — Maria Petre.

“Why?” he asks, hoarsely. “What good is it to bring the dead to life, Maeve?”

It’s not the response Maeve expects, but the surprise rolls off her shoulders easily. Never before has his daughter spoken of his wife so boldly. It is natural, then, that her Papa reacts so strangely — as if he knows what is coming, as if he knows it will do neither of them any good.

“But what if you were wrong, Papa?” In one hurried motion, Maeve takes a seat across from him and leans forward. She puts her hands on the table, palms facing upwards in wait of his own to hold. “What if your enemy is not your enemy? What if it’s your friends who betrayed you?”

The air is cold against her palms.“Spit it out, Maeve.”

Her nails dig into her skin as her hands form fists, anxious crescent moons forming. “The Capulets killed her, Papa.”

It is the silence that betrays the human heart. The empty, gaping chasm where words should fall and soothe the spirit — it cannot lie. Neither, too, can the resignation in her Papa’s eyes. Maeve sees, for perhaps the first time, the massacre that lurks within the dark of his irises. Among the name of the killed and forgotten is her own. Maeve Petre. The daughter he leaves behind at every opportunity. The child he treats like a ball and chain to his ankle, forcing him to relive his loss and grief over and over again.

Her hands tremble as she pulls them back to her lap. The body knows before her heart and mind: it is happening again. Maeve may run however she’d like, but the body remembers the imprint of that horrible night. When her Papa came home with blood dripping from his fingertips, the cruel light of the moon casting a long shadow. She’s beginning to feel it again. The disappointment, the tightness of her every breath, the terror that grips her so tightly she can hardly speak.

But speak she does, in a choked whisper: “You knew?”

When he only turns his cheek as if he did not hear her, Maeve amends her question. “You knew.”

“You’ll understand when you’re—“

“When I’m older,” Maeve finishes for him. “I don’t need to understand, I don’t want to understand. The Capulets killed Mamma, they lied to you — and you’re still working for them? You’ve forgiven them for ruining your life?” Her chin lifts with weak defiance. “They ruined my life, too.”

“I told you not to join.” He looks at her with the stern look of a father, and if Maeve just closes her eyes and wishes it, she can just imagine that he does this out of love and concern for her. But he isn’t, he isn’t, and she must remember that.

“You didn’t tell me it was because they’re the reason we’re trapped here! I thought you wanted me to be safe.” The tears fall and Maeve lets them. Where her Papa hides and suffocates every feeling, she will brave her own and wear them on her sleeve. She will be the example her Papa never was for her. “This is wrong, Papa. This is so messed up.”

“You said it yourself, stella mia. We are trapped.” This time, it’s her Papa who extends his hand for Maeve to take. “I found out the truth when I was already deep into their operations. Do you think they would have let me run? Do you think they would have stopped at killing my wife?” A shadow comes over his eyes, sinister and inhumane. “You saw what they did to the Montague rat. With everything I know, I would be lucky to have that punishment.”

The shadow flees, and in its place settles the father Maeve likes best. His eyes flicker with tenderness, all for her. “Stella mia, they will not hesitate to take you away from me too.”

For a second that stretches until it feels like minutes, Maeve stares at her Papa’s calloused and scarred hands. She can accept the harsh reality he offers, so brutally colored. It’s true, isn’t it? The Capulets are merciless, and will not forgive disloyalty. Is a life worth living when your dreams are slashed to bits? What is worth sacrificing, to see the world full of light and lovestruck again?

With deliberate slowness, Maeve takes her Papa’s hand. She squeezes gently, brings his knuckles to her lips. “But you were alone, then. You have me now, Papa. Together, we can be free.” Her grip strengthens as she senses his immediate rejection. For the first time, her eyes shine and glisten with unsoiled hope. “Orion and Rafaella are in Amsterdam, Papa. We can find them, and they’ll help us. Well, Orion will help us, and he’ll convince Rafaella to help us. Please, Papa…”

Her Papa stares at her like he doesn’t recognize her at all.

“Stella mia, that’s what you call me, right? Maybe, Papa, I’m the star that’s supposed to guide you out of your nightmares. Maybe I’m the shooting star that will make your dreams come true. Maybe I can save you, save us.”

He does not blink as he searches her eyes, and she lets the fullness of her heart show for his perusal. Philip wonders if his daughter is serious; Maeve wonders if her father is beginning to believe. Even as he disentangles his fingers from her own, she dreams of the new life they will build, together.

“Maeve.” He cups her cheek and she leans into his palm. “To be a star, you must burn.”

MAY 29

It’s been exactly one week since Papa promised to think about it.

To be a star, you must burn.

What do you mean, Papa?

It means — (she will never forget the hollow look of his eye, the vast and inescapable loneliness she’s tried to eclipse her whole life) — that you must go alone.

No. No, I won’t run without you. I won’t leave you.

What if I choose to stay behind?

Then… I guess I will, too.

It’s a lie, and it sits thick and heavy in her throat. For a week, Maeve can scarcely take a breath without a flutter of panic. There is a life waiting for her just beyond the horizon, and a single word holds her back from sprinting to greet it: her Papa’s yes, her Papa’s okay.

Each day that passes and her Papa does not slice her hope to bits, Maeve dreams a little harder. Desperately, she slips into a world of fantasy and puts her faith in its power to right every wrong. She begins making plans: the new name she will take on (Stella, it’s the obvious choice), the subject she will study in when she at last goes to university…

Mostly, Maeve tries to plant her goodbyes as kindly as she can. The moment her Papa agrees, she’ll take his hand and the two of them will flee. The stars will conceal them both from Cosimo’s sight, and together, they’ll erase their name from Verona’s fabric. When the miles between them and the city that nearly devoured them whole stretch on and on and on — only then, will Maeve let herself remember. Only then will Maeve mourn the childhood the Capulets stole from her, the loss she has spent her entire life trying to make up for.

For now, Maeve marches home like she is on her way to war. And with all that is at stake, is she not riding into battle? The Capulets have turned her heart into an empty grave, where she buries all things: her Papa’s laughter, a house full of light, the warmth of a mother’s embrace.

She is tired of wandering through graveyards, and she is tired of scavenging battlefields. Maeve is ready to leave her nightmares behind and walk into a new daydream. But she can’t go there without her Papa.

When she gets home, her Papa tells her that she will have to.

The room starts to tilt and spin, violently and out of her control. Maeve’s reaction is immediate. Eyes wide, cheeks flush with defiance, she challenges his decision. “Why not?” It’s a demand more than a question, voice hard as stone. “What’s keeping you here?” Before he has the chance to answer, Maeve begins to plead with him: “Papa, please. I can’t leave you here alone. Don’t make me live without you.”

Philip looks down at his hands, unable to look his daughter in the eye as her heart shatters. He would rather be pricked and split open by shards of glass than watch Maeve cry — because of him. For him.

She is her mother’s daughter. It’s precisely why he can’t follow her into the light. His love has damned angels before; he cannot promise that Maeve, too, will not be destroyed if he lets himself love her.

“Then stay.” For the first time, Maeve hears in her Papa’s voice the captain who is something of an unholy legend among the Capulets. Firm and without mercy, Philip is no more; there is only Prospero. “Make your own decision. I’ve made mine.”

“You know I can’t stay! They killed my mother. They made me kill people too. I’ve done awful things for them, and for what?” In choked sobs, Maeve spits out each word ferociously, as if passion alone can sway her Papa. “Do you know, I used to wait up every night for you to come home? Do you know how many times I’ve helped you get into bed because you were drunk and bumping into the walls, and I was scared that you might die, too? I was a kid, Papa. I was only a kid!”

Philip’s hands curl into fists. His knuckles go white. Still, Maeve does not stop. Every emotion she has quieted for fear of hurting him, every storm she has trapped in a glass jar to spare her Papa more heartache — it explodes out of her all at once.

She’s only asked him for something one other time. On her knees with sobs shaking her entire body, Maeve begged her Papa to choose her. To shut the door on the Capulets and be a father to his daughter.

She asks him for the same thing now — and again, he chooses the Capulets. Again, he chooses the tarnished glory of bloodshed and the twisted pleasure of power among Verona’s gods. Terror reigns over love, and perhaps it always will. Perhaps the chant of monsters will forever prevail over the choir of angels, and leave Maeve on her knees once more.

“They ruined your life.” Maeve sniffs and wipes at the hot rush of tears, her wet nose. “Why do you let them? Why don’t you want to be happy? With me?”

At last, Philip raises his chin and locks his gaze unto hers. “I will never be happy,” he says frankly. It is what it is. He knows that wherever he runs, it will always be the same. The same face in the mirror, the same dead and empty eyes staring back at him. The same sins on his hands, the same demons at his shoulder.

The Capulets are only one mask that the beast wears. The beast may hide behind a thousand more, but underneath it all is the same face: his own.

Maeve’s lower lip trembles. “Me neither.”

Silence stretches between them, a rope pulled taut and tight that waits for one to walk across toward the other. From opposite ends, Maeve and Philip stare at one another and wait. Unyielding, stubborn, blind with pride and wishful thinking —

It’s almost like looking in the mirror. For the first time, Philip sees not Maria’s eyes, but his own.

A flicker of pride, a flash of faith. Then nothing. It’s not enough for either of them to join the other.

“Fine, then.” Maeve rises from her seat, hiccuping with sobs. “I’ll live without you.”

But how long can a fire roar without kindling? Even stars must fall from the sky. Some fall sooner than others. Some fall like it has one last burning wish to be seen, to be alive and brilliant and loved.

Some fall quietly, with tears still wet on her cheeks and a gun in her hands. Some are found the next morning by a hungover father who only pretended he was ready to say goodbye.

Some stars cannot stand to burn for so long. Some stars fade out of sheer exhaustion; because it cannot bear to be the light any longer. Because the darkness is cold and vast. To look into the night’s unending expanse, to know that she will never defeat it —

Not all stars can survive it.

Some stars cannot stand to burn for so long.

[flutteringphalanges]

Summary:  “Am I in Hell?” Agatha’s voice was hoarse, a hint of fear in her tone. “That depends on your definition,” Dracula answered. “Perhaps.” His fingers felt cool against her burning skin, the fever raging through her body. “If you’re going to kill me, then do it,” she mumbled. The count chuckled, gazing into her eyes. “On the contrary,” he smirked. “I’m going to save you.”

((In which Dracula cares for a gravely ill Agatha))

Characters: Agatha Van Helsing/Dracula

Rating: T

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N: Sorry for the delay! Thank you all so much for the feedback! I hope you enjoy! -Jen

                                                 Chapter Five

"You're dead."

Ten year old Agatha Van Helsing yelped in surprise as she was swiftly knocked off her feet, her back hitting the ground hard as her grandfather loomed over her. Abraham's weathered face showed no sympathy as he held a stick right underneath the girl's chin. Out of the corner of her eye, Agatha saw her own weapon lying far from her reach.

"Stand up," the old man grumbled. "You let your guard down again. In a matter of seconds, you could've been taken advantage of and drained of your life blood." He motioned towards her stick. "Again."

"We've been doing this for hours," the child complained. By now, bruises had already begun to form on the places that had been battered the most. She hated practicing combat, especially when it was with someone as highly skilled as her grandfather. "Can't we take a break?"

"There are no breaks when you're being hunted," Abraham replied firmly. "Now quit your protesting and come at me. We are going to keep doing this until you get it right." He ignored the girl's scowl and prepared his stance. "Again."

Even though she had yet to come across a mirror in Dracula's castle, Agatha felt as if her appearance was already improving by the day. No longer was her skin a deathly pallor and blotched with a red rash, but her fatigue had lessened too. By no means was she cured, far from it, but at least she was one step in the right direction. Focus on the positives. The nun had to constantly remind herself of that.

A loud knock sounded against her bedroom door causing Agatha to jump a little in surprise. Her eyes fell to the door knob, anticipating for it to twist and push open. She didn't put it past Dracula to waltz inside without permission. He'd done it several times before. However, after a few moments had passed without the vampire gracing her with his unwelcome presence, she relaxed.

"Will you be joining me downstairs to eat, or shall I leave it by the door as usual?"

Accompanying him for dinner, as if he actually ate alongside her. She inhaled deeply, flattening out the creases in the dress he'd gifted her. It was rather lovely, but it did agitate her knowing he probably realized her fondness of it. Regardless, she hadn't much else to wear-thanks to him, so she had to make do.

"You truly make being a good host such a daunting task," the vampire continued when she refrained from responding. "I've opened by home to you, healed you, and yet, you still don't trust that my intentions aren't sinister." He paused, quickly adding. "At least, not to what you expect."

"Exactly where does one find trust with someone who has slaughtered countless innocent lives," Agatha retorted. "I don't expect you to see my reasoning behind my hesitation as you kill without a second thought."

"We do what we must to survive," Dracula stated. "Monster or not, human or creature, it's in our genetics to thrive by whatever means necessary. If I made you a vampire right now, I can assure you you'd give into your cravings within a second. Whether you feel guilty or not afterwards is no concern, but you would consume blood."

"I'd rather die," she frowned deeply.

"As you've made very, very clear," the vampire exhaled. "Anyway, if desired to kill you, you'd already be dead. So rather than acting like a broody hen sitting on a clutch of eggs, perhaps it would do you good to come join me by the fire. Being confined in a room for so long isn't good for one's sanity."

His mere existence was pushing her to the brink of insanity. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Agatha's eyes fixed on the door. Something told her that he wasn't about to give in and leave her to her own devices. At some point, she'd have to really face him. Exhaling heavily, she stood up. Positive thoughts. Maybe she could use this to her advantage. A learning experience. Information. Clearing her throat, she forced a stoic expression.

"Fine," she exclaimed. "I suppose I'll join you."

"Ouch!"

A small drop of blood trickled from the knick on Agatha's thumb where she cut herself. She set the knife down, and examined the piece of wood she'd been whittling into a stake. Abraham strode forward and grabbed her hand, his brows knitting as his ever present frown deepened.

"You need to be more careful," he instructed. "A vampire would be able to smell this a mile away and you'd be killed before you even knew what hit you."

"It was an accident," Agatha insisted.

"Doesn't matter," the old man frowned. "You can't afford to make a mistake. Always be vigilant. Vampires are monsters, Agatha. They don't feel. They don't care. All you are is a meal to them. You must remember that!" He snatched her stake, his fingers trailing down the pointed wood. "Keep going," he muttered, handing it back to the girl. "You're looking if this would go through a human's chest."

"How did you learn to cook anyway?"

Agatha's eyes followed Dracula as he set a dish in front of her. At first glance, it appeared to be some sort of fowl, perhaps quail, along with root vegetables. She'd be lying if she didn't admit it smelled incredible. It wasn't until the vampire placed a crystal glass filled with a red liquid that the nun visibly stiffened.

"It's just red wine," Dracula chuckled, snorting softly. "Honestly, Agatha, I may be a 'brute' as you'd put it, but I'm not twisted enough to give you blood." There was a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. "Especially when it's a requirement in my diet."

"You didn't answer my question," Agatha said, lifting up the cup to swirl the liquid around. "Where did you learn to cook? And why?"

"I picked up many skill sets throughout the centuries," he admitted. "When you have a lot of time on your hands, why not take the opportunity. Besides," he smirked. "It comes in handy when I have guests over." He gave a nod towards her dish. "Go on, give it a taste."

Eyeing him warily, Agatha lifted up her fork and picked up some of the meat. Hesitantly, she placed it into her mouth. Throughout her decades of life, she hadn't ever tasted anything so delectable. She tried to ignore Dracula's wide grin as he watched her eat. He was a good cook, she'd give him that.

"Well?"

"I'm not dead yet, so I suppose you didn't poison me," she said, setting her utensil down. "Impressive for someone who only consumes blood."

"I do try my best," he smirked. "And if we are offering compliments, might I add that you are looking much more lively now. The fire really brings out the color in your cheeks."

Agatha almost choked on the wine she'd taken a sip of. Heat rose to her face as the vampire eyed her smugly from across the table knowing what he'd done. Pleasant conversations and Dracula didn't go hand in hand. Especially when he was attempting to flirt for her own embarrassment.

"You really lack the ability for romanticism despite your centuries of life," she countered, an argument not helping her cause. She should've just dropped it. Left his snide remark where it was. "You have as much charm as a decaying crow."

"Ah, your insults are enthralling," Dracula mused, clearly entertained by her disdain. "Go on, do continue."

She should've stayed in her room. Ignored him. Pretended he wasn't there. Hell, she should've died back in that rundown clinic. But here she was, sitting before the buffoon of a man-if one would even give him the dignity of calling him that. Anger began to bubble within her chest, her witty demeanor fighting the urge to leap over the table with the strength she clearly didn't have and stake him in the chest with her butter knife.

"You're a pig," Agatha growled. "A barbarian."

"Come on, Agatha, you and I both know you can be far more creative than that," he teased, making his way over to her side. "I've witnessed it before. Give me your best shot. That is," he paused. "If you still have it in you."

What happened next was a blurred memory, as if Agatha had blocked out the event that led up to it. The next thing she realized was that she was standing, her mouth against Dracula's as he pushed her back against the table. The force of it hurt and the nun knew she'd have a bruise later. But that didn't matter now.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted her up, the dining ware knocked to the floor. Shattered. Teeth grazing her bottom lip. Fingernails digging into his impenetrable skin. She couldn't breathe. She didn't want to. The fabric of her dress tore as he ripped it off like one does the wrapping of a present.

"Don't trust a vampire." Abraham's words echoed in her mind as she lay splayed across the table like some elegant feast, Dracula looming over her with dark, lustful eyes. "Never fall into their trap."

His words faded as the vampire pressed himself close, his forehead against Agatha's. Her body ached for him. Burned. And she was a victim to its demands. Perhaps later she'd regret this. But later wasn't now. She allowed her eyes to close, bare skin to bare skin, as she drowned in the passion that was desire.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Family Fights - Chapter Twelve

Summary:  Even the strongest bond, the most loving family, can be broken by nightmares, and the librarian is soon to learn this. As she learns sinister things about a person who she had thought was lost forever, she realizes she will need the help of another witch to get her family back.

Notes:  Another short chapter but this time I’m proud because I wrote all of it in a single day! Also I’m going to take part in my country’s Student Science Olympics today, so wish me luck!

(chpt1) (chpt2) (chpt3) (chpt4) (chpt5) (chpt6) (chpt7) (chpt8) (chpt9) (chpt10) (chpt11) (chpt12)

Biting wind turned her cheeks pink, the sun quickly dying out as Maven stood under the trees of the Huldrawoods. Aside from draping her cape over her shoulders, she hadn’t changed the clothes she’d worn all day. There hadn’t been any time. As soon as Alfur had declared that the Thunderbird knew where her sister lived, she’d hurried to fetch him a map so that he could point out exactly where he’d seen her.

It felt like she’d been moving in a haze. She was certain that she’d told Hilda to stay safely in her house, but everything else she’d done in the last few minutes seemed like a dream from which she’d only waken up when she arrived at the spot the Thunderbird had circled. Now, as she looked at the ramshackle tend that had been built between two tall pines, she felt her clouded mind becoming clearer, making her cringe at her own impulsivity. In her haste, she hadn’t even brought anything to protect herself with. Now, however, she was too close to back away.

Her hands clutched her cape tighter around herself as she walked closer. As warm as the day had been, dusk was bringing about an unexpected chill, which combined with the fear and anticipation running up and down her spine, did not result in a pleasant sensation at all.

The tent was livable, but only barely. It leaned against one of the trees, and wooden stakes helped keep it upright. One single cutting of cloth made the ceiling and the walls. Whichever magic the marra had, it was no use in construction, it seemed. This tent was only a little better than the ones she and her sister would build as children.

Maven couldn’t sense her sister inside, so she found the area where the cloth had been cut to allow passage and allowed herself in. Once inside, the first thing she noticed was the abrupt change in temperature. In contrast with the cold outside, the tent could easily have had modern heating, and she attributed that to the oil lamp which hang from one of the stakes. Though judging from the green fire that burned inside, it was more likely that the lamp ran on magic rather than oil.

The shelter was very clearly Myra’s. The makeshift pallet bed wasn’t made the usual way. Instead, the blanket has been folded and put on top of the pillow, like her sister liked to do. The hairbrush that seemed to have been thrown on the floor without a care had no strands of hair in it, and Maven remembered how insistent Myra was in cleaning her hairbrush after every use.

Emboldened by these discoveries, Maven set out to look for more signs of Myra’s presence. She did find enough reasons to be certain that she lived there, but was also concerned by the lack of basic necessities in the tent. She could find no food at all, even though she knew her sister to snack a lot during the day, and the complete absence of clothes reminded her of how Myra had been wearing the same clothes as years ago when Maven last saw her.

Those things could probably be due to the marra’s magical nature. Though they looked like everyone else, Maven thought she would do well not to forget that they weren’t human, and thus probably didn’t have the same necessities as them.

It was when Maven was going over a notebook she’d found, apparently filled with descriptions of nightmares her sister had inflicted on people, that she heard a gasp from the entrance of the tent. Startled, she dropped the notebook and turned around to find Myra herself staring at her with shock on her features.

Both of them were paralyzed for long moments, doing nothing but staring at each other in incredulity until Myra shook her head like she was trying to wake up from a dream.

“What are you doing here?!” She shouted. Remembering that she shouldn’t consider herself safe just because this was her sister, Maven took a deep breath, gathering magic on her fingertips in case she needed to defend herself.

It took her long to find an answer. She hadn’t even thought about what she would accomplish by going after her immediately, she’d just been driven by the urge to see with her own eyes that Myra had somewhere to stay. That she was alive and well.

“I came to find you.” She said eventually, debating whether or not to raise her hand to her sister. She wanted to touch her, find proof that she was really there, really in front of her, but she knew it wouldn’t be welcomed. Myra continued looking skeptically at her, her body locked with tension.

“I wanted, I want to bring you home. You don’t need to stay here, Myra. Come back with me. I can forgive everything.”

Maven could pinpoint the exact moment when her sister went from mistrustful to furious. Green shone in the depths of her eyes and her fists balled as she bared her teeth.

“You can forgive everything?! Nothing about you changed, Maven. You really do still think that everything is about you.”

Before Maven could think up a spell to summon, Myra sent out tendrils of green magic in her direction. They seized her arms and legs, leaving a burning sensation in the spots where they curled around her limbs. When the marra made a sharp gesture with her hand, the tendrils send Maven flying out of the tent, hitting the ground outside painfully.

Groaning because of the impact, Maven tried to sit up as Myra chuckled at her.

“How pathetic. Why would I want to go back to being this meek?”

“Myra… this isn’t you. They have twisted your mind, haven't they? Please, sweetie, our parents-”

“Can’t you get this?!” The marra interrupted her, her magic feeding off of her anger and making her levitate inches above the ground as she spoke, in a way that soon she was leaning over Maven menacingly “I don’t care about mum, dad, or you! You are all weak, and I’m over you!”

“If you’re really over us, why haven’t you cursed some poor widower to take you in? Convinced a couple that you’re their child?” Maven said with as much strength as she could. Some time ago, she’d be mad to hear those words coming from her sister’s mouth. She’d seethe and cry out her hypocrisy, but it felt like something had changed in her. She’d come so close to failing Hilda that she could now see all the ways in which she’d failed her her sister. Not in not being able to stop her from becoming a nightmare spirit, but way before that.

The only effect her words seemed to have was to make Myra more angry, and she growled in a way that Maven was sure no human could. Nevertheless, Maven continued.

“Why live like someone who’s lost their home if you say we weren’t yours?”

“I should kill you!” She shouted, but Maven knew her too well. Those were nothing but empty words, and she didn’t believe the Marra even had enough power to murder someone. Not a trained witch, at least. Surely enough, when Myra realized that Maven was neither going to press her further nor plead for mercy, her fury deflated enough that her sister could see the reluctance in her eyes.

“But I’ll give you this chance to run. Go away and never come for me again!”

Maven shook her head.

“I can’t do that. I can’t leave you alone.”

Rolling her eyes, Myra sent out a burst of magic at Maven’s head. It made her vision spin and her mind feel hazy, and she collapsed against the floor once more.

“It wasn’t a question, idiot.”

_#_#_#_

“Maven!” Her eyes began to open as she felt someone shaking her shoulders. Everything was dark, and the first thing she was able to see was a head of blue hair.

“Oh dear, is she alright?” Another voice squeaked. She knew that voice, but her mind was so clouded she couldn’t link it to anyone.

“That was a really nasty spell. She might take a few minutes to regain consciousness.”

“‘M fine.” She drawled, trying to make sense of the situation. “Hilda? Is that you?”

The girl nodded and smiled nervously.

“Yes! Don’t worry, we’ll help you.”

The girl spent a few minutes trying to aid Maven to her feet, aided by a bird who the librarian soon remembered to be Hilda’s friend. The elf was also with them, unable to help but watching the scene from Hilda’s hair.

“Well, you seem to be recovering quickly.” The Thunderbird said when they began walking away from the Huldrawoods. Maven realized she’d woken up at the same spot she’d been before, but Myra was no longer there. “You are made of tough stuff, I’ll give it to you.”

“My own magic must have protected me. But I was lucky you were around to help me. ” She said, wishing that the magic would have protected her from heartbreak as well.

Maven stopped walking abruptly, turning to Hilda with crossed arms.

“And why were you around? I told you to stay at the house.”

“I couldn’t let you go alone.” To her credit, Hilda did at least look ashamed, fidgeting with her feet. “But I did stay hidden.”

Sighing, the librarian continued walking. “As long as you don’t tell this to your mother.”

“I promise.” She assured, content not to be lectured about safety and following orders. “She should be home by now. Why don’t you come over and drink something? You must need it.”

She raised her gaze to the night sky, now completely dark. The trees got on her way, making it so she wasn’t even able to take comfort in the calming sight of the moon. When she lowered her eyes again, she noticed Hilda shivering as she looked at her. The girl was still wearing the same clothing they’d worn to the beach.

Raising her hands to her neck, Maven unclasped her cape and draped it over her, hoping it was warm enough that she wouldn’t be cold anymore. When Hilda sent the librarian a questioning stare, she only shuddered and made a fireball appear on her hand, a source of both warmth and light to guide them.

“I have no better plan.”

[aion-rsa]

House of Dark Shadows: The Craziest Vampire Movie You’ve Never Seen

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This article contains House of Dark Shadows spoilers.

In 1970 House of Dark Shadows flipped the vampire subgenre on its head. While certainly a B-horror in the Hammer mold, this chiller wasn’t satisfied with one bloodsucker, or even two. Instead Dark Shadows would turn nearly its whole cast into the ravenous undead, indiscriminately slaughtering beloved heroes and heroines, not caring for a second that they were also the stars of a daytime soap opera—one that was appointment TV for millions of kids across America.

Clearly it was a different time. And therein lies its charm.

When the television series Dark Shadows premiered in 1966, it wasn’t an instant pop culture phenomenon. Creator Dan Curtis was savvy enough to see the appeal in a daytime melodrama draped in a Gothic aesthetic, but he didn’t yet have the necessary hook for his central character as she stepped off a train in New England. Sure, mysterious Victoria Winters (Alexandria Isles) would meet the Collins family, who more or less ruled over the town of Collinsport from their ancestral home of Collinwood, but the reason to stick around only came about a year into the series’ original run.

That eureka moment turned out to be the dapper and effortlessly suave Jonathan Frid. Cast as Barnabas Collins, the Canadian theater actor was initially hired for a single storyline (a set number of episodes) as the heavy: Barnabas was an ancient and forgotten vampire, who’d been buried alive like the family’s dirty little secret after a curse condemned him to drink blood in 1795. Now he was out and wreaking havoc by feasting on the locals and obsessing over Maggie Evans (Kathryn Leigh Scott), whom he was convinced was the reincarnation of his lost love Josette—a fiancée who threw herself off a cliff in the 18th century rather than become Barnabas’ corpse bride.

It was morbid, obviously, but also romantic at a time when vampires were defined by the coldness of Christopher Lee or the goofiness of Scooby-Doo. Instead here was the most pitiable of creatures, one who doesn’t wish to be a vampire, and through impeccable manners and courtesies revealed a soft love for the Collins family, even when he preyed on them. Rather than create a great villain, Curtis inadvertently invented a tragic hero who audiences flocked to, both the typical daytime target demographic and also, surprisingly, kids and teenagers, who’d rush home from school to be lost in a melancholy land of eternal loves, ancient curses, and of course fangs.

Thus Dark Shadows became a blender for all things Gothic. Following in the success of Barnabas’ introduction, the series would go on to add ghosts, werewolves, séances, multiple stints of time travel, and one particularly devilish 18th century witch named Angelique (Lara Parker). It also appropriated every classic horror trope from Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley, the Brontë sisters, and Edgar Allan Poe, and synthesized them for an audience that was now consuming it along with kid-friendly board games and trading cards.

So why not a movie, too? As early as 1968, Curtis began pursuing the idea of making a Dark Shadows movie, even while the series was still going. Eventually, House of Dark Shadows was the result. Released 50 years ago this week, this toothy amusement was the chance to do everything Curtis wanted with the series, but was prohibited from by Broadcast Standards and Practices censorship, budget constraints… and maybe even audiences’ good taste.

“Blood flows,” actor Roger Davis observed in The Dark Shadows Companion: The 25th Anniversary, which was edited by Scott. “It’s not like the serial. You have a few dabs of blood and the network brass have apoplexy. TV does a mock-up on life. This is in living color. And the vampires really bite.” 

Whereas Dark Shadows, the television show, was appointment TV for those still in middle school, House of Dark Shadows was aimed directly at the drive-in crowd with its emphasis on blood gushing from neck wounds and stakes violently going into almost every character’s heart. As Scott’s book surmised, the film was “entirely the child of its creator,” who would at last have his evil Barnabas. And at a glance, it is an American riff on what had already become kitsch by 1970 thanks to Hammer Film Productions’ seemingly endless line of Dracula movies, plus the knockoffs.

And to be sure, House of Dark Shadows is in many ways a Dracula movie. It’s also insight into how Curtis originally viewed the Barnabas character before Frid went on a charm offensive. Playing almost like a CliffNotes version of Barnabas’ first several storylines on the show, the vampire is awakened during the film’s opening moments because of the foolishness of groundskeeper Willie Loomis (John Karlen). Barnabas then forces poor old Willie to become his living slave and creates a fictitious narrative about being a distant cousin descended from the original Barnabas Collins, whom family lore claims sailed away to London in 1795, never to be heard from again.

Bringing back the “original” Barnabas’ family jewels to ingratiate himself, the Barnabas of 1970 is free to attend family gatherings, fix up an old ruined house on the estate, and even feed on cousin Carolyn (Nancy Barrett), a dear relative who becomes a dead ringer for Lucy Westenra in Bram Stoker’s famed novel. Even so, Carolyn cannot displace Maggie (still Scott) in Barnabas’ eyes, who he is sure is the reincarnation of Josette.

It very much has the narrative beats of a traditional vampire movie, but the charm that lingers a half-century later comes in part from seeing these actors, who are intimately familiar with their characters, going through the paces with better production values. That quality also manifests in Curtis’ sense of atmosphere, now liberated from the stage-bound quality of daytime drawing room drama. I would even argue House of Dark Shadows is one of the more satisfyingly atmospheric vampire movies to come out of the 1970s.

Curtis filmed in the upstate New York’s Tarrytown area, mostly on the actual Gothic Lyndhurst Estate, built in the 1830s, and shot much of the exteriors in the legendary Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. Whereas Hammer films tended to rely increasingly on sets during this period, and most B horror movies had no budget for evocative locations, House of Dark Shadows was filming its sequences in between tours of the Lyndhurst Mansion and in the same atmospheric cemetery that helped birth the myth of a Headless Horseman.

Regarding the filming location, screenwriter Sam Hall remarked, “It’s a wild house. I’d hate like hell to live in it.” 

This is only accentuated by the fact Curtis knows how to drain a spooky location dry. Images like vampire Carolyn standing in a window, draped in white, beckoning her lover to become one of the damned is a better use of Lucy iconography than any Dracula movie made before House of Dark Shadows. And the film’s ending sequence reaches an operatic opulence rarely seen, even in vampire cheapies. Barnabas, bathed in a blue light and shrouded in inexplicable fog in the interior of his decrepit home, beckons Maggie, now in a wedding dress, toward him as the famous melody of Josette’s music box twinkles, only now in a weeping minor key.

The corruption of that wistful melody is intriguing. An original part of the Dark Shadows television series, Josette’s music box, and Frid’s soliloquies about it, is what first gave Barnabas his soul, distinguishing him from the general depravity of other pop culture vampires. One could even say Barnabas is the first significantly sympathetic male vampire in fiction. In House of Dark Shadows, he has a more sinister mean streak, but the pathos remains.

Hence why the film plays at times like a gonzo delight. It may feature the original, more wicked Barnabas, but it is still derived from the genteel series, and many of those elements carry over. Take Dr. Julia Hoffman (Grayson Hall) spending half the movie trying to cure Barnabas, a subplot that eventually ends happily for the pair on the show, but less so here. It’s soapy pulp, yet it’s given as much stone-faced gravity as the Collinsport Police Department unquestioningly agreeing to patrol around town with standard issue police crucifixes. One might ask if they keep silver bullets in every squad car too?

The overall effect is bizarre, but endearingly so. It’s also fairly influential, as confirmed by what happened after Dan Curtis dropped Barnabas in favor of another vampire.

Read more

TV

Dark Shadows’ Witch Was As Influential As Its Vampire

By Tony Sokol

Movies

Bram Stoker’s Dracula and the Seduction of Old School Movie Magic

By David Crow

In 1974, following Dark Shadows’ cancellation, Curtis wrote and directed a Dracula TV movie for CBS that within its opening titles billed itself as “Bram Stoker’s Dracula.” Far removed from Stoker’s novel, the little remembered television film nonetheless starred Jack Palance as the vampire, and introduced several significant elements to the story by overtly making Dracula an undead version of historical figure Vlad the Impaler (which he is not in the novel) and turning Lucy into the reincarnation of his great lost love.

Curtis was in essence trying to recast Dracula as Barnabas Collins. Like House of Dark Shadows, Curtis even sought to build a Gothic atmosphere by filming in real locations, albeit now Eastern Europe. The result was effective in those scenes, even if the rest of the movie failed in no small part because Palance could never wear the tragic cloak so well as Frid.

In spite of its shortcomings, many have fairly speculated on whether Curtis’ Dracula influenced James V. Hart, the screenwriter of Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Hart was certainly more successful at turning Dracula into a lovelorn prince, and Coppola made that idea permanent in the pop culture imagination. Yet, at the end of the day, they were still remaking the pop culture image of Dracula so as to be closer in line with Barnabas Collins, instead of the other way around.

I would even argue that Coppola’s film is closer in tone with Dark Shadows, at least in its romantic moments, than Tim Burton’s big budget Dark Shadows movie was in 2012. Burton of course attempted to avoid some of the mistakes of House of Dark Shadows, namely by keeping Barnabas as the good guy who is trying to save his family instead of ultimately destroying them, as well as retaining the other fan favorite character, the witchy Angelique (who like all other non-vampire elements was omitted from House of Dark Shadows). But Burton also played her and the whole concept as pure camp, making the Collins’ a subject of ridicule, and their problems a punchline.

Admittedly, there is something faintly camp about the 1960s daytime series and its ‘70s drive-in remake; plots turn on ludicrous developments like Julia falling in love with Barnabas, and then intentionally sabotaging his vampire cure when she realizes he loves a younger woman. But they were sold with absolute sincerity, and in the case of Frid, a palatable conviction.

House of Dark Shadows continues that conviction, no matter how batshit things become. Thus the ending where, accepting he’ll never be cured, Barnabas transforms family patriarch Roger Collins (Louis Edmonds) and even the film’s version of Van Helsing (Thayer David) into vampires. And we get to a finale so madcap that it turns “Renfield” into the last remaining hero. Madness, indeed.

Ironically, House of Dark Shadows was blamed by some for the eventual death of the series. Every character in the film, including Barnabas, had to be written out of the show, for some weeks at a time, so the actors could go shoot a movie upstate (another reason Angelique and other significant characters were left out). This correlated with some of the series’ weaker storylines that lost audiences’ attention.

Additionally, it’s believed parents who went with their children to see the movie in October 1970 were appalled by the amount of blood and sensual subtext in the film. As a result, some may have forbidden their kids from watching the series further… with the show getting cancelled in April 1971.

“The TV ratings fell after the movie,” Scott’s The Dark Shadows Companion revealed. “It has been suggested by some that House of Dark Shadows led to the series’ eventual demise. Perhaps it was the audience’s reaction to seeing their hero Barnabas in an evil light. Perhaps it was because parents attended House of Dark Shadows with their children and, seeing the amount of blood spilled across the screen, discouraged their children’s choice of television viewing material.”

Star Frid was even more unsparing in his final analysis.

“[The film] lacked the charm and naivete of the soap opera,” Frid said. “Every once in a while the show coalesced into a Brigadoonish never-never-land. It wasn’t necessary to bring the rest of the world into Dark Shadows, which is what the film did.”

Nevertheless, both the series and movie left a few marks on the throat of pop culture. The series certainly paved the way for more multidimensional portraits of vampires to be explored, opening the door for, yes, the Coppola Dracula movie, but also Anne Rice and True Blood. In fact, even if House of Dark Shadows might’ve been considered too brutal by parents in 1970, decades of pop culture refinement would find a way to make the sympathetic vampire archetype much more tolerable when instead of drinking from his cousin, he sparkled in the daylight and told his prey they needed to wait until marriage.

Without Barnabas, his series, and his slice of bananas role is House of Dark Shadows, we may never have gotten Lestat, Edward Cullen, or Gary Oldman’s Dracula. At least not as how we know them. Fifty years on, that’s a bloody good legacy for a daytime drama and a B-movie you’ve never seen.

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[multifandomimagin3s]

Babies - Mortal Kombat Preference

Johnny Cage

Johnny didn’t really know how Cassie would react when she found out you were expecting a baby – his baby. He knew his daughter had always hoped that her parents would get back together, like they were when she was little, but seemed to slowly warm up to the prospect of her Dad re-marrying.

But as soon as she saw that little face, she – like everyone else who encountered the little one – were completely in love.

He may have cried a little – a lottle – when he held them for the first time, but will most likely deny that; “Nah, there was just - something in my eye.”

When it came to deciding baby names, he had his heart set on Johnny Jnr, for a boy. As for girl names, he was a lot more flexible.

Surprised you with a mini version of one of his ‘JC’ tracksuits. As nice as it was, there was no way that your kid would be wearing that…unless he dressed them (he put it on them one day when you were out, and you just didn’t have the heart to take it off.)

Spoils them immensely. As the daughter/son of a famous actor, companies jumped at the opportunity to send you free stuff – the living room was no longer habitable due to the sheer mass of freebies you’d accumulated.

Regardless of whether this is young!Johnny or older!Johnny, I can see him proudly carrying the little one in his arms, no matter who’s company he’s in, because hell yeah you guys made a cute baby!

But if anyone gets too close for his liking – whether that be the paparazzi, or someone more sinister – he’d quickly shield them away from prying eyes. He flat out refuses to divulge too much information to the press because the last thing he wants is for you to be bombarded.

Erron Black

Holy shit. Holy shit. It has literally just sunk in that he’s a Father, and he’s shook.

Can’t stop staring at their little, peaceful face. It’s clear who their parents are, even without having to take a second look – they have the perfect blend of your features mixed with his. They’re the most precious thing he’s ever seen.

Once they fall asleep in his arms, that’s him for the night. He’ll try not to move too much because he doesn’t want to want them up.

He’d make a solemn vow to be a good Dad. He didn’t have a good relationship with his parents and refuses to follow in their footsteps.

I think he’d be a lot more conscientious of the jobs he’d take; he must think not only of himself and you, but also of little Black-(Y/L/N). He would try not to stray too far from you both if anything should happen. If you don’t know how to defend yourself already, he’d insist that you learn – he’d probably teach you himself.

He’s not too fussed about names, providing it’s not a name he deems ‘stupid.’

He struggles to be soft – doesn’t do baby talk, since it makes him feel stupid, but he’ll have a much softer tone to his words. That paired with his accent makes your heart melt, and your baby clearly loves it too (who wouldn’t.)

The Black Dragon will never know of his child’s existence. Ever. He’ll be damned if they get dragged into that shitshow. Kano will never meet them, nor will any other member of the gang.

His guns are either kept on him, or out of reach, for obvious reasons. When they’re old enough he’ll teach them how to shoot, but until then – no touchy.

 Kabal

The world around him seems to screech to a halt , as soon as he sees that little face poking out from the blankets. It’s as if everything has come to a standstill, and there’s only you, the baby and himself in the world.

When they grab his finger in their tiny hand his heart just melts. When they coo at him, his eyes go all misty and soft and it’s adorable.

Insists that their name begin with a ‘K’ to mirror his own.

Like Erron, he’d make sure that Kano the Piss Goblin will never know that the baby exists. Whether that means he’ll have to leave the Black Dragon, potentially having to change his name as well as taking you and the baby as far away from them as possible – he’d do it in a heartbeat.

I think he’s a man who loves his Mom dearly, so of course he’d want her to see her Grandchild. She’s just as taken with them as he is and pulls you both into a congratulatory hug. She probably will knit them stuff such as baby socks, or little blankies with their name on it, which never cease to warm your heart.

He loves it when they fall asleep on his chest. There is nothing in this world that he loves more than having you tucked into his side with your little baby sprawled out across his chest, snoring away.

Even though they probably can’t grasp concepts other than food and who their parents are, he’ll watch movies with them, pointing out the good ones and the bad ones. He won’t even subject them to the Ninja Mime franchise, but just shows them the DVD cases like “These are the ones that Daddy hates, when you get older you’ll understand why…”

Pre-Burn or Post-Burn, he’d love them unconditionally. Post-Burn would be anxious that his mask and or appearance would scare them, but when they smile their gummy smile at him all that worry just dissolves.

 Hanzo Hasashi

This isn’t his first rodeo, so he’s very helpful during labour. There’s something sadly reminiscent of his previous experience which means he might need to talk a walk during, but he’s there for you.

Tries not to cry when he sees the baby – fails miserably.

Holds them to his chest, pressing soft kisses to their fuzzy head, whispering in his native tongue. You don’t really know what he’s saying but judging by the misty look in his eyes and how much love is pouring out of him, it was clearly something beautiful.

To him, this is the promise of a fresh start. He’ll not let history repeat itself and will protect both you and his child to the ends of the Earth.

Their baby clothes are mostly the typical colours – cream, mixed with shades of baby blue and or pink. However, Shirai Ryu colours will slowly mix in with this, but you don’t mind that much – the little yellow baby-grow is gorgeous.

The only people who know of the baby’s existence are yourself (obviously), Kuai, Takeda, Jacqui and Cassie – Johnny knows too but only because Cassie told him.

Tries to be the strict parent but he’s a softie at heart. Unless they do something outlandish, there is virtually no discipline in the house.

If their first word is ‘Dada’, he’ll be in awe. Grandmaster Grumpy Face has a heart but only for the select few.

 Kuai Liang

He’s composed on the outside, screaming on the inside. It’s a good thing that Hanzo happened to be around when you went into labour, otherwise he would be essentially lost.

He sits outside the waiting room with Bi-Han and Hanzo, trying to not panic at the sounds of your pain – he got sent out by the nurse because he looked ready to pass out, the poor soul.

Rushes through the door as soon as he hears the baby cry.

Holds them in his arms – he can’t stop looking at them, they’re so perfect. Bi-Han claps him on the back, congratulating his brother, as well as you. Hanzo looks over you and Kuai with a look that’s reminiscent and vaguely emotional.

Doesn’t want everyone to know about the newest addition to your family. Hanzo and Bi-Han are the first to know since they were there, but other than that there are few who know.

Has no problem with doing the late-night/early-morning feeds. As Grandmaster, he’s up early every morning, so this doesn’t change his routine much; plus, it lets you sleep more so win-win.

His cool body-temperature is calming for the little one – Cryomancy genetics and all that jazz – so more often than not, they’ll crash out in his arms. These are the some of the moments he loves dearly, their little chubby face smushed against his shoulder, sleeping peacefully.

The embodiment of the ‘Don’t speak to me or my son again’ meme. Johnny has been warned on countless occasions that if he swears around the baby or tries to share his bad influence with them, he’ll get his ass kicked.

If the babies’ first word is either a curse word, or some variation of ‘Blueberry Ice’, Johnny’s getting frostbite.

  Bi-Han

Everything needs to be in shades of blue – he put his foot down on that detail. The baby would most likely be a Cryomancer, so it’s important that they rep the Lin Kuei colours.

He’d probably be hoping for a son – ‘cause tradition and all that jazz – to carry on his legacy, but if he had a daughter he would be wrapped around her little finger.

I could see him rocking one of those baby carriers whilst simultaneously teaching. No-one questions him, since he’s the Grandmaster – plus the baby is adorable, so there’s very little confliction.

Thinks up cute snow / ice / cold related nicknames for the little one, which probably will evolve into their code-name when they get older. He still calls Kuai ‘Tundra’ when they’re not in front of their students, so that playful nature is still there under that stern façade.

Doesn’t want to shove the fact that his kid is angelic in people’s faces but – look at his angel baby. Look at them! They are perfect! Those eyes! That little button nose! But don’t touch the baby. He will cut a bitch.

“Let’s go see Uncle Kuai”

Uncle Kuai has little to no experience with babies but he’s gotta learn! He’s only ever met young Lin Kuei members when they were just exiting the toddler stage, so seeing a baby this small makes him a bit more cautious.

The sight of you with the baby makes him feel at home. And he’ll probably want another…

  Kung Lao

For all his confidence during your pregnancy, this man is basically hopeless when you go into labour. Like, he tries to be as supportive as he can be, but he’s white as a sheet and looks as if he’ll faint at any given moment.

He’s very gentle when he holds them for the first time, as if he’s scared that he’ll break them. He remembers holding Jin when he was an infant, so the experience isn’t knew to him, but knowing that the baby in his arms is his – it blows his mind.

He manages not to cry until they open their little eyes, peering up at him in wonder. Then he almost sobs.

From day one, he’s the Over-protective Parent. Upon learning about his fate in the Coliseum, he’ll maintain a watchful eye over your baby, at all times. He’s taken them to class a couple of times, which granted him a few stares but otherwise was unmentioned – they were just grateful he went…

Keeps his hat out of there reach – his worst nightmare is that they cut their little hands on the blade.

He’ll probably want his name incorporated in their’s. If it’s a boy, he’ll want to name them after him to keep with tradition, but if it’s a girl he’ll be happy with it as a middle-name.

Isn’t the biggest fan of having other people hold them; the only people to have had the go ahead, other than those within the temple, are Raiden and Cassie. He’s constantly afraid that they’ll drop the baby, and so would rather hold them and let the person fawn over them that way.

[kyberphilosopher]

Seven: Chapter Ten

ChaP^ter T3n 

         It feels really good to watch Cal chew Celeste out.

          He’s been doing it for 6 minutes and 38 seconds now. Practically nonstop. Even with the door to the break room closed, you can hear Cal’s muffled yelling through the glass. Not that you’d need to hear the conversation to know he’s upset, but still.

          It is currently 9:47 pm. The only people left in the precinct are us and Officer Blackwell, who stands guard near the entrance awkwardly. He cringes every time Cal raises his voice, which makes me even happier. I sit at Cal’s desk, upright and proper while trying to keep my patient smile off my face. My hands ball and unball themselves against my knees anxiously.

          Cal is completely furious. You should’ve seen him in the car ride back here. Absolutely fuming, he gave Celeste the dirtiest look I’d ever seen and snapped at her. Fuming, he yelled “Why didn’t you cover the exits?!” while Celeste’s overly glossed lips struggled to form an excuse or words of any kind. The tension in the car after that was so thick, you could’ve cut it with a knife. We all sat in silence though. Celeste had a trembling lip, I had a hidden smile, and Cal had one hand on his head while he neared having a heart attack. He sort of looks like he’s about to have a heart attack now.

          “I asked you to do this one thing… Are you a fucking moron? I… The Android even knew what to…” are snippets of his yelling that comes out more clear. Celeste stands silently, still looking like a painted whore and trying not to collapse in on herself or yell back.

          It’s 9:53 when the yelling stops. Cal throws the break room door open, storming outside, still fuming. Celeste stays in the room, turned away from me to hide her shame. I stand up as Cal approaches, at the ready for anything he may need.

          “Can you believe her?” he says loudly, too angry to realize he’s actually talking to me willingly. “I mean I give her one job and she just blows it off, completely costing us the whole fucking operation!”

          “It’s my fault too,” I offer, a little nervous. My hands meet each other behind my back, playing with the others fingers in anticipation. “I should’ve been faster.”

          Cal’s piercing gaze meets my eyes crisply. Despite his increased heartrate, I can tell his sharpness is out of intensity instead of rage.

          “No, you saved my life,” he says, almost like a promise. “We would’ve caught them if it weren’t for Celeste.”

          There’s a silent exchange between us then. A wordless agreement, a quiet thank you. Cal isn’t aggressive towards me because I’m an Android. It’s almost like he’s talking to another person, and he’s grateful that they saved him in peril. Cal walks past me and takes something from his desk. I don’t turn around to look, instead taking the opportunity to run a quick diagnostic. I am in optimal condition.

          “You gonna be hear in the morning?” Cal says from behind me.

          “I believe so, though there’s always a chance for unlikely things to occur.”

          “Like what? An Android snatcher sneaking in?” Cal chuckles to himself quietly. I keep the recording of it in my memories, because it’s the first time I’ve heard Cal chuckle and I like how musical it seems.

          “Always a chance,” I repeat.

          “Guess so.” Cal closes his door with a muted slam and fumbles with his clanking keychain. “Night Tin Fuck.”

          “Goodnight,” I mean to say with a friendly tone. It comes out hoarsely, like someone whose insatiably nervous.

          I watch Cal walk away for the night, out the doors and past my field of vision. Then, it is just me and Celeste Amora, who is trying to contain her tears in the break room.

          I don’t feel like standing upright while I power myself down. Instead, I go around to my desk and sit down in the chair. I use my arms as a sort of cushion for my head. This is something I’ve seen humans do when they’re very tired. I’ve seen Cal come close to doing so once or twice, but he never does. He just sips his coffee with a zombie-like expression on his face.

          I let my led cycle yellow and my vision go black.

          “Aleksandra,” she greets coldly. Her outfit is white today, and she’s turned away from me. Of course she is. I still can’t manage to enter into our scape the correct direction.

          “Hello, Adelicia.”

          She says nothing to me for 37 seconds.

          “How would you say your investigation is going?”

          “It’s progressing,” I say slowly. I can feel her disapproval, her frustration, her patient demeanor expand with my words. “I’m learning a lot about the Exceptions.”

          “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve learned?” Her voice is so cold and sinister. She’s challenging me. Has she seen my memories? No. No she couldn’t have. But… there’s always a chance.

          “I’ve learned that many Exception Androids seem to go astray because of an emotional shock. A child model that killed its parents showed signs of PTSD from a history or memory of sexual abuse.”

          “What else have you learned?”

          “The Exception Androids I’ve encountered have all chosen to hide immediately after their deviation. The child model stayed in a closed shower, and two others squatted in abandoned buildings. It’s like… it’s like they want to avoid confrontation.”

          “Merely an emulation of fear,” Adelicia tells me.

          “Of course.”

          For some reason, I begin to compare Adelicia to a rose. I’ve seen her in every shade a rose can take- white, red, yellow, blue- all of them in the form of a pantsuit or blazer and skirt. She’s pale and prim and proper, with elegant manners and a tone like ice. Her mind, sharp as ever, never stops working. But like a beautiful rose, her thorns jut out and slice open your thumb whether you’re expecting it or not. You may think you’ve said the right thing, over for her disapproval to nick you and make you bleed. Beautiful, but dangerous, Adelicia is all too similar to the overly sweet flower.

          “And your relationship with Detective Kennedy?”

          “I-he… He seemed grateful I saved his life.”

          Adelicia whirls around to face me. “Grateful?” she hisses, like a cat who doesn’t want to be stroked any longer. “I wasn’t aware you had saved his life. When did this happen?”

          Don’t answer. Don’t answer. Don’t answer. “Tonight. He was going to fall from a building. I helped him up.”

          “I see.” The disappointment oozes from her tone like poison. I’ve been noticing that more and more lately. “Aleksandra, if you don’t make progress in your mission by Christmas, I will consider replacing you.”

          Something in my biocomponent sparks. Immediately, the word ‘no!’ pops into my brain in response to her words. It’s almost like… it’s almost like I don’t want to be replaced. I don’t want to be shut down.

          But there’s a problem with this line of thinking. I don’t ‘want’ anything. I’m an Android. I am completely replaceable and the idea shouldn’t bother me.

          That’s what I decide to tell Adelicia. “For the sake of the mission, that might be best. I am of no importance and the investigation should come first.”

          Adelicia’s features soften in their own way. Like a wash of approval finally comes over her at my words. Her pupils dilate slightly, her shoulders wearing down in a type of relaxation. Despite this, her grey eyes are cold and steady, frozen like the rest of her.

          “You have until Christmas.”

          I open my eyes. This time, it is not a smooth, swift and soft motion. It is startled, almost clumsy as I do so. I’m certain my led runs red with it.

          It’s 4:17am. I can see the darkness of the sky outside, and a faint sprinkle of stars dotting above. The moon is still visible up high, like a shiny, vanilla colored crescent. It’s going to rain soon. A dark purple color will fill the sky and replace the midnight blue currently present, and the sun will rise in the east.

          I sit up, not taking my arms from their position on my desk. It seems so… calm. Calm and quiet. Even with the occasional airplane overhead, and the distant sound of drills and smoke and party music, it’s a silent night. I can see the space needle, and water and even a faint picture of mountains way in the distance. Skyscrapers and other sleek buildings stand tall in the landscape.

          Today is Tuesday, October 19th. The temperature today will be 48 degrees Fahrenheit, with suspected showers in the morning. The day after tomorrow, Cal will turn 27 years old. I wonder if he’s excited about it.

          It dawns on me now that I am still wearing my stakeout outfit. My hat had fallen off in my sleep, but my jacket and jeans and shirt are all still present. I put the beanie back easily and turn my attention elsewhere. The leather of my baggy coat is still warm with Cal’s scent. The black turtleneck would’ve gotten itchy against human skin by now, but I don’t mind at all. It’s soft to me.

          I watch the sky for a little while. I really, really like it. I like it even more when at 4:28am, drops of rain start hitting the windows outside. It’s not strong, like bullets or hail, but gentle, like flower petals. It’s so lovely, wonderful even.

          Somewhere, above the moon and the stars, some humans believe there’s a heaven. Supposedly, the clouds there roll in shades of brilliant, blinding whites, pale oranges and rose pinks. The sun rises in the West and sets in the East, and the moon appears as lilac and periwinkle. You can see the planets and all the planets moons. There are corners with lush greens and trees so tall you’ll never see the tops, and others with white sand beaches with jade waves and jewels buried deep down. The sky changes colors depending on the angle, like an Opal. There is no real end, only serenity and breathing.

          I would very much like to see this thing someday, because the humans all describe it so beautifully. But this heaven is only attainable after death, and I doubt there’s a heaven for Androids.

          I push myself out of my chair, and shuffle down the way to the elevator. I push the button for the roof and begin up. The sultry elevator voice tells me I’ve arrived and the doors slide open smoothly, revealing the dank hallway I remember. It hasn’t changed since the last time I was here, and all the trash and other effects are still in place. I’m about to step out, but then I press the button to go back down. Cue the voice alerting me of my destination, cue the doors opening. The next time I press the up button, I’m holding a small, dark trash bag in my right hand.

          I clean everything in the hallway to the roof. Beer bottles, chip bags, a handful of old light blue pills in the corner. They all disappear down the trash bag, which I tie up and leave by the door. When I emerge outside, the biting air hits my synthetic skin. I don’t react to it in the slightest.

          After 43 seconds, I walk to the edge of the building, and sit. My legs dangle over the side, hanging over the pavement below. The rain drops spring and pop on my shoulders. My hat protects my hair from getting damp. Petrichor fills my nose and I’m drowning in the smell of spring. In contrast, the Autumn leaves in the distance are falling in orange, brown, and crimson dots.

          And, maybe for the first time ever, the city of Seattle is still. It all reminds me of a painting- perhaps one that Cal Kennedy himself has painted.

          I doubt there’s a heaven for Androids.

Software Instability^^

     At 10:03am, I move myself from my position. The sun has risen, the rain slowly ceasing out. Several officers and detectives have entered the building, ready to start their day. I even see Captain Ericson share a kiss with his husband while his two children sit with earphones in the backseat.      

          I rouse myself up and grab the trash bag. When I get back to the main floor and the bullpin, there is a man sitting at Cal’s desk. The man is, in fact, Cal. This takes my by surprise. He’s never been this early before. Still, I put the trash bag in the bin by the break room before making my way over.

          A few steps away, I pause. Cal doesn’t have a coffee cup with him today, and his form is more hunched than usual. He must be exhausted. I turn around before he notices me, return to the inside of the glass room and poor him a cup of steaming black coffee. I put a top on so he doesn’t sip it too fast and burn his tongue, and then carry it out to him.

          I put the cup on his desk softly, as to not alarm him. The Detective looks up at me, and his eyes are glinting in the light.

          “Didn’t I tell you I hated you?” he croaks tiredly. His voice is husky and slightly sleepy, but I don’t mind. It’s low enough for only me to hear it in the commotion of the plaza.

          “Multiple times.”

          Cal breathes out with a quick smirk. “And you’re still bringing me coffee?” I don’t say anything, because he seems like he has something more to tell me. “For a bunch of freaks who seem to be demanding freedom, you sure do like slavery.”

          “I bring you coffee because I want to,” I correct, quickly. Cal’s eyes dance with curiosity at my statement. “At least… I think I do.”

          His eyes look me up and down. I like it, I think. “You’re still wearing those old clothes?” he half asks, half observes.

          “So are you,” I counter. Though slightly wrinkled, he is still dawning his dark blue shirt and normal brown jacket.

          Just like last night, there is a silent exchange between us. We can both pretend that Cal’s hostility towards me doesn’t exist for the moment. His still eyes are nearly kind, and his lips are soft and slightly upturned in a relaxed way. I reciprocate, making note of all the little details on his face. He has a freckle I never noticed before, under the right side of his jaw. His face is slightly more clean shaven today, though not by much. It seems stubble and five o’clock shadow are his signature look. I don’t mind, because it suits him and he looks handsome, just rough.

          After 10 seconds, I turn away and walk to the other side, seating myself in my desk.

          Throughout the rest of the morning, Cal and I share a few words.

          “Did you sleep well last night?” I ask as he sips the coffee.

          “Yeah,” he replies. He then gives me a rather unexpected line of dialogue. “You?”

          Androids don’t really ‘sleep’, though I suppose what I was doing was the equivalent. Even so, it wasn’t my most friendly encounter. The more I encounter Adelicia in my thoughts or even just in the white room, the more icy she becomes to me.

          “Yes,” I lie.

          A few minutes later, we have another verbal interaction.

          “I have not seen Officer Amora this morning,” I say aloud. I meant it mainly to myself as I glance around the room, but Cal heard.

          “Yeah, me either.”

          I lean forward on my shoulders, my curiosity taking the best of me. “I don’t mean to impede,” I begin slowly. “But what exactly is your relationship with Officer Amora?”

          Cal rubs the back of his neck like he has a crick in it. I can tell he’s thinking of an answer, because maybe he doesn’t even know himself. “Heh,” he chuckles shortly. “Well there certainly is one.”

          “I-I just mean..” don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it Aleks. “She seems a little… bitchy.”

          Cal freezes in place, watching me. I’m scared for a moment that whatever relation he and I have is ruined, all because I ignored my Social Relations program. But then a smirk smile spreads across his face. His brows ease up and his eyes sparkle with charisma. A quick laugh escapes from his lips.

          With that, my own features soften. My shoulders ease as the tension melts away, and a smirk of my own emerges on my lips.           “Well, you’re certainly not wrong,” Cal says lightheartedly as he looks back at his computer.

          I watch Cal sip his coffee between our short bursts of dialogue. As time goes on, he does seem to come more alive with the caffeine. He types faster, opens his eyes more, takes shorter blinks. The darkness and bags under his eyes don’t just evaporate into thin air, they remain, but I can’t define how I feel about them.

          I don’t think I like that they mean he lacks a healthy sleeping schedule. But I do think I like how much character they add to his outward appearance. He looks entirely unique from everyone else here, maybe everyone else I’ve ever seen. He lacks a uniform, a clean image. He doesn’t mind just being. I wouldn’t understand that. It’s far too outside of my programming.

          At 12:10, Cal disrupts the air of silence between us.

          “Hey,” he mutters. His eyes are averted, stuck to something on his desk nervously. “I uh… I wanted to thank you. About yesterday, I mean.”

          I know he really didn’t like saying that. I run my tongue along my lips inside my mouth, nodding my head sincerely. I can’t help the words that fall from my lips after that. “Of course.”

          “No I mean you… you didn’t have to do it. You choose me over the… never mind.”

          I’ll never forget it. One, because I physically can’t, unless my memory gets corrupted. Two, because I think it’s important for me to remember. Still, the only thing more to that conversation is a quiet “sure” from me.          

          “Actually, I did want to ask you something.”

          Cal looks in my eyes this time. They’re not as relaxed or lighthearted as they were, and his eyebrows are more scrunched down in their usual position. Still pleasant enough to look at according to the golden ratio, though.

          “I was going to ask Celeste but, well- you know…”

          I dip my head slightly, urging him to continue.

          “My birthday’s in a few days and I’m going to see my father.”

          “You mentioned that. Your brother too, correct?”

          “Yeah,” Cal clears his throat with a cough. “Well, my father’s been bugging me to get a girlfriend and I was wondering it you’d… you know… come along?”

          My led flashes red so fast you wouldn’t be able to see it. But then it goes yellow as I try to make sense of the proposition. “You mean as your girlfriend?”

          “No- kind of. Like a fake girlfriend. To trick my family for the night.” Cal watches my led as an indication as to my answer. He’s so anxious about this. I can see his heart rate only increase. “You can say no,” he adds quickly.

Registering Request…

Creating Pro and Con List…

Pro and Con List Created.

          “I can do that,” I tell him. “It’s no trouble. I will have to research things that girlfriends do, however.”  

          “Fine, that’s…” Cal waves his hand, leaning back in his chair. His heart rate decreases, slowly but surely. “That’s fine.”

          My led stays yellow. I can’t define the feeling in my biocomponents, sparking against my synthetic skin and making the fake hair on my arm stand on end. Anxiety? Anticipation? Anguish? Or just plain Aleks?

          “My dad lives in Spokane, so we’ll have to take a half day tomorrow.”

          My led swirls green as I confirm my schedule. “I have no issues with that.” A new idea runs into my mechanical brain though. “I don’t have any suitable clothes, however.”

          Cal lets out a joking scoff. “Clearly.”

          “Hey, this is your jacket,” I retort.

          “And it looks better on me,” he quips slyly. I wonder if he’s forgotten I’m an Android when he jokes with me like this, if he’s so focused on the comedic value he doesn’t care who it’s with. Maybe that’s what everyone who hasn’t shown hostility towards me have been like. Shovelman, Tom, even that woman who smiled at me- Sophia. Were they so intent on being themselves and being in the moment that they didn’t register how different we are? Or is it because they were so aware of our differences that it was a sort of mercy to show me a kindness. I know Cal isn’t doing the latter, but maybe the others were.

          “That’s your opinion,” I decide to say jokingly, typing something into my computer with a smug look on my face. I didn’t even realize it was there until the memory of Cal making the same expression comes to mind. I must’ve learned it from him without realizing.

          “You know, if you’re going to be my girlfriend, you’re going to have to be nicer than that.”

I doubt there’s a heaven for Androids.

Software Instability ^

taglist: @omg-we-really-doo​

hope you enjoy, S. happy fourth.

[kaibacxrps]

Something new, something blue!

Discord thread with @kaibacorpbros !

"Please, for me?"

"No."

"Please?"

And round and round went this debate with Mokuba for quite a while. Mokuba argued that clearly Set's hair was separate, because it got longer, so anything done to it shouldn't effect his brother. Seto argued he didn't care, it was still his body, changes or not when he switched with the spirit. Round and round it went. But Mokuba was persistent about this. He'd already gone though all the work of getting the dye and learning how to do it. Nothing would stop him.

Which is how Seto found himself sitting on a stool in the shower, Millennium rod held in crossed arms as his little brother set everything up.

Gods, was that bleach? If this didn't work as intended, he had no idea what he would do. Wear a hat for several moths so people couldn't see it? He never should have agreed to this.

Mokuba approached with containers and brushes and several things Seto didn't want to know what they were. "Okayyy... I think everything's ready! Set, you there? We got a surprise for you! Switch out with Seto!"

It felt good to be back in Seto’s body, things were starting to return to it’s usual after their previous adventure. That was the longest time they had been separated, from one another. Nothing they hads been through thus far, came close to match the scale of it.

Thankfully, it was all over for good. And to celebrate it, they decided to take the weekend off work in order to dedicate some time for themselves and get much needed rest.

But it appeared a certain someone had other plans for today.

Set watched over the brothers banter with each other, since Seto woke up. He didn’t know the context, or even why they were arguing in the first place as such he chose not to interfere and instead watch from the back of his vessel’s mind. Until he was called by Mokuba.

The spirit appeared before Seto, he exchanged looks with him before swapping places- taking control over the body. It quickly went through it’s usual changes, the hair’s length served as proof of it. “I’m here Mokuba. Do you mind telling me what’s this all about?” 

"Surprise!" Mokuba held up the dish of blue hair dye with a grin. Meanwhile, Seto was trying his best to not look in his astral form.

Really, he should just retreat into his soul room and try to not think about the damages. But if he did that, who would tell Mokuba if he was going overboard?

"It's hair dye," Mokuba explained. "I saw you looking at those people who had done their own. I learned everything to do it perfectly, promise! I was thinking of just doing a couple of strands of yours. I gotta bleach it first, but... you in?"

The younger Kaiba was also hoping that this would help them all settle down from that orichcalcos junk--even if Seto didn't wholly approve. 

Set's gaze shifted between the boy and the things that surrounded them, in the bathroom. "Oh, so that's why he..." His voice trailed of as he finally caught on to what this feud, was all about.

Mokuba was very observant. Although, it wasn't something Set tried to ever hide. It was no secret how fascinated he was with the modern world's beauty, they had the chance to try a few things here and there. But they were mostly small things, which Kaiba would simply wash off the next day.

Nothing so far, came close to something like this.

The offer was no doubt extremely appealing to the spirit, who seemed to be fascinated by the pretty dye color. However, this didn't take a genius to think or figure out, there was an uncertainty whether this would affect Seto or not. Yet, he could see in the younger Kaiba's eyes, how he just wishes to try and help them get over what they went through recently... It wouldn't be fair to him if he simply gave a no.

He will bite the bullet on this one. Seto has braided his hair in the past, several times and they never appeared whenever the other took control over the body... So maybe, that would work in their favor.

"... Ah- I see. You're right Mokuba. I don't see any harm in giving it a try, so... I'm in Mokuba." Set responded with a gentle smile, without even looking up at Seto's soul. 

Mokuba would have pumped a fist, but with his hands full, he instead bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Yes! I'll be careful Seto, promise!" The younger scurried behind the spirit and even got up on a stepstool for good measure.

'I'm sure you will. Just don't get that stuff on my skin, I don't wanna turn blue,' Seto grumbled even though Mokuba couldn't hear him in that form.

Mokuba had planned everything out beforehand, he went and pinned all the hair out of the way he wouldn't be working on. "Here, tilt your head back so it doesn't get on you."

Of couse, Seto had the right mind to change into some clothes that wouldn't matter if they got dirty, but his soul form still hovered close by to watch Mokuba's work. He'd done his own research into it as well.

And with the chosen strands separated, Mokuba carefully started bleaching it so it would hold the new color.

"You want gold as well? I got some of that just in case. Course when you bleach dark hair it kind of does that already. But highlights maybe or nah?" 

“Go for it Mokuba, it’ll be fine.”

Set remained still- immobile, and in silence throughout the process. He would do everything that Mokuba asked from him, he can’t wait to see what the child had in stored for him.

A few good chuckles escaped the spirit, as he listened to the brothers banters... Even though Mokuba couldn’t see nor hear Seto’s words.

It was obvious how Set, didn’t share Seto’s worry and concern about the whole thing. How could he? When they haven’t had this much fun in such a long time?

Even before they became victims of Doma’s sinister plans... Kaiba’s defeat in his own tournament, left him with an understandable sour taste in his mouth. That’s the reason why they headed to the United States, so he could focus on his work and try to get his mind off what he had just gone through.

“How’s it going Mokuba? Is it working?” The spirit asked, after sometime had passed since the boy had applied the bleaching product on it. 

"Mmm! 'Sh good!" The boy spoke around the bobby pins in his mouth. Once all the strands were ready to take the color he began with the blue, carefully brushing into the hair.

'Oh gods... it's a good thing you don't go to school for me, we'd be kicked out at a moment's notice for having colored hair.'

Seto's form floated nearby, covering half his face with his hand trying to not be obnoxiously watching Mokuba's every move, even if he couldn't see the elder, it would give Seto a small brain aneurysm.

With some more time, the blue was all in, and then it was time for the gold. Mokuba had chosen smaller highlight stands for that, not wanting there to be too much going on at once.

"Well... its done, and hope I did okay." Mokuba said once everything dried.

The younger held up a larger mirror as the eldest was trying his best to not look out of worry.

"What do you think?" The hair held the color well, and Seto even helped to ensure that Mokuba got evey angle of each strand. 

“What about Yugi’s hair? Ah-” Set asked to Kaiba, before being interrupted by Mokuba as he showed off the fruits of his labor. His gaze immediately shifted to the boy and his hair, hours had passed since they began this - he could just barely contain his excitment.

Curiosity was plastered all over his face, a wide smile quickly formed on him while his hands ran through the hairlocks and brought them forth so he could have a better look at them. The blue color was the first thing to catch his attention, it even scored a gasp from him as he kept feeling how smooth it felt and stared at how beautiful it all looked.

At first, he had no words to say- he was left speechless. Set didn’t know what to expect out of this, the spirit was amazed at Mokuba’s work. An idea formed in his mind, as he began braiding a hair strand- or at least, attempted to.

“This turned out so much better than I imagiend, I... Ah- Is this how you do it? Seto? Mokuba?” 

Yugi--well Kaiba wasn't even sure how that kid's hair worked, and he doubted anyone else did either.

But those thoughts were interrupted once the dye had dried.

The younger Kaiba beamed at his reaction. "I'm so glad it came out good!" Internally, he breathed a sigh of relief. Of couse he had done his research well, but who knew what could have gone wrong while actually doing it, there coulda been another end of world scenario in this time!

Seto hovered closer at his name. And while he didn't wholly approve of what Mokuba had done, he did have to admit it was detailed job.

"Close. Remember even parts, right over left. Keep it tight if you don't want pieces sticking out," Seto explained, making the gestures in the air so Set could see. 

Set's focus shifted between the strand in his hands, and Kaiba's motions. He was following the instructions, and he quickly began repeating it with more strands. In no time, he had braided his entire new hair, it was something he was certain would compliment Mokuba's work.

When he finished working on the last strand, the spirit quickly reached out for a mirror he could have a look at the final product. There was a wide smile on his face, as soon as he spotted his reflection.

A few chuckles escaped him in disbelief, it all looked so great in Set's eyes. He quickly ran his hands through the braids, and showed them all off to the brothers.

"How about it now, huh? Ah! I still can't believe at this shade of blue...!" 

"Ooh! I hadn't even thought about braiding it, that's a great idea!" With a smile Mokuba reached out to poke locks, careful to not knock them loose. "It mixes the colors in great! Obviously water or washing it will make it fade quicker, but it should look really vibrant for at least a week--well if you were in control for a full week that is.  But really your hair will probably grow out before you have to worry about that."

That was under normal logic of course, so in reality Mokuba had no idea how long it would be. But never mind that! Proud with his work, the younger Kaiba started cleaning up all the supplies he used.

Something did pull at Seto's lips though. "I guess you guys didn't have something that could do that back in your day, huh," he said with a hint of amusement. It was almost as if Set was like a kid on his birthday. 

“Are you expecting me to say that your time scored a point this time, Seto?” Set spoke out loud in a teasing manner, as he seemed to be looking at where his vessel’s soul currently was at. He didn’t even attempt to cover up the amusement in his face, while still proudly showing off Mokuba’s work. “I suppose you might be right about that.”

The spirit got to be in control of the body for the remainder of the day, and spent it in the company of the younger Kaiba. It almost felt like they were back to their usual, they had finally recovered their lives before everything started.

When was the last time they had the chance to find peace this way?

After tucking Mokuba to sleep in his bed, Set wasted no time in preparing himself for a night of sleep (at least, he hoped so). He proceeded to swap places with Kaiba, once he put on a pajama and headed straight to his soul room.

The day was delightful, yet it still was a draining one in it’s own right. The priest found himself in a personal chamber, it was a replica of sorts from what he used to have back in the day. Set removed most of his garbs and accessories, he only kept on himself a piece that he could sleep with.

It didn’t take long for him to finally, lay down on his bed and rest his head on a pillow. He came close to drifting off... But the sound of footsteps from the outside caught his attention.

‘Was it Seto? Of course it has to be him...’ The priest thought to himself while just barely awake, as he kept his eyes fixated on the door that the other soul would come through. “Come in, Seto...” 

A familiar smirk formed at the spirit's words, but Seto said nothing.

But it felt good to spend some time with Mokua, when if it was kind of through the backseat.

But when night came, sleep evaded Kaiba, as it often did. And so he found himself nudging open Set's soul room. For once, careful and undemanding.

But there was one problem. It seemed Set was nearly asleep himself. Kaiba makes a nose of acknowledgement to the invention, and ventures further into the chamber.

"Guess no game night. Can't sleep," he says with a shrug, coming closer to Set's bedside. "But that's nothing new."

So many fresh memories. Of this room being empty, and his mind as well. The silence, sinister.

"Mind if I say? I won't bother you, you can go on to sleep," He just didn't mean stir up trouble either and yet here he was. 

The bed is conveniently, large enough for two people. He always enjoyed having a lot of space for himself to sleep, by himself.

A yawn escaped Set’s lips while Seto spoke, he shifted around in his bed slightly so he could be laying on his side and facing his guest. “Yes, sorry about that... Mokuba ended up requiring a lot more attention than expected...” The priest spoke softly and in a slurred tone. It was obvious how he didn’t mind at all, being found like that by the other.

Due to his current state, Set couldn’t even imagine what must have really brought Kaiba here. He assumed it had to do with a force of the habit, and nothing else.

“Sure, of course you can Seto... Make yourself comfortable. I don’t think there are any doors leading to another of my memories for you to watch, or even anything else to entertain you for the night... Ah...” Another yawn interrupted him while he hugged the pillow, and sank his face into it. As he shifted around, his long hairlocks came forth and revealed that they retained everything they have worked on during the day. “Sorry, it has been awhile since we... It was a good day, huh?... You might be better off staying in your soul room tonight... There’s nothing that could- Ah...” Yet another drawn out yawn silenced him.

"I-- it's fine. I just..." he trailed off as he sat down cross-legged on the floor with his back against the bed, not knowing what else to say. And it would be incredibly awkward to try to bring up anything more. No, quiet was better. Quiet, but not silent. Not silent again.

"If I get bored I can fetch something from my room. Go back to sleep." If anything else, he should at least be able to scrounge up a book somewhere.

The dye did seem to stick, even in here. At least Seto's own hair was left un-smurfed, else he would never be taken seriously at Kaiba Corp.

And Seto just didn't want to be left alone in complete silence again. Even if they weren't talking or interacting, at least this way he knew the spirit was still there. Not whisked away by some seal. 

Set hummed in a low tone, his eyes were partially open- it was obvious how difficult it was for him to keep them like that.

His mind was empty- in a numb state, the body felt heavy - especially his eyelids.

The priest had considered asking Seto if there was anything bothering him, or what did he miss out on while he was away.

'He must have had his peace... It all must have been nice to him...' The spirit convinced himself of that, he knows how he wouldn't get an answer from Seto in that regard... Even if he did, it wouldn't be clear or he would simply receive a snarky remark about it. Maybe another time...

It was only a matter of a few blinks of his eyes, before they shut down- and he finally drifted off to sleep. A snore didn't take long to escape him, it indicated how Set had fallen into a deep slumber. 

Seto breathed out a soft exhale of relief when it was clear that the priest was asleep.

And for a long time, even though Seto had no real idea how long it was, he simply sat there. With his back up against the bed, listening to Set breathe. Just knowing that he was there put him at ease, even if Seto didn't know it.

And after a while, he nodded off. He also couldn't be sure how long his slumber was. Nor did he fully realize it had happened when his balance shifted, making his head pop up as the jarring movement half woke him.

Perhaps he knew what he was doing. Or perhaps not, and he got his own room mixed up with Set's. But with lazy movements, Seto half stood, pulled back the covers to the bed and crawled in, returning them to their place.

Naturally, his body gravitated to the warmth, the chill in his fingers in toes gradually dissipating. His eyes closed again as he buried his face into Set's shoulder. 

Set found himself in a state of deep slumber, to a point he didn't even notice Kaiba join him in his bed at some point in the night.

Despite that, his body moved - inched slightly so his face could fit in that position in a more comfortable way. Almost as if he wasn't a stranger to this at all, his body was trained to act like this.

He was so used to his children, crawling into his bed during his sleep whenever they couldn't sleep. This happened often, and he quickly learned to fit them in like that without disrupting his sleep.

Set slept soundly, after all he was confident Seto had found peace during his absence. This won't last much longer...

[actual-ongoing-dumpster-fire]

My Relationship with Makeup as an Intersectional/Third Wave Feminist

In all honesty, it makes me feel like quite the walking contradiction at times.

I love makeup. I love applying makeup. I love the way I look wearing makeup. I never see makeup or beauty as some tedious chore I have to do to fit some stupid pointless patriarchal gender role. It’s not that hard for me to fall into the rabbit hole of binge watching makeup tutorials on YouTube. In fact, I don’t always wear makeup as often as I’d like because it’s impossible for me to wake up early enough to have enough time to in the morning sometimes. Thank you, mental illness. /s

Luckily my complexion has improved so that I don’t have nearly as much acne as I used to and I’m much more comfortable with how I look without foundation nowadays. That also means I gravitate towards lighter coverage and would only be into full coverage for like, a super bougie and special event where I want to look next to flawless. Sometimes I want to look nice and dolled up and makeup helps me do that. But I’ve also never felt like I had to wear a full face of makeup 24/7.

And contrary to what some may believe, I’m not into makeup and wearing it on my face for the sole purpose of attracting a man or really, any potential partner. I wear makeup for me. I do it to help myself feel a bit confident and pretty, sure, but I do it in a manner that I like and prefer and not with the end goal of attracting some dude (and/or women etc. because I’m bi as shit lmao). To me, feminism is about respecting every woman’s agency to do and like as she pleases and that includes partaking in traditionally feminine and arguably heteronormative activities. And what I seek in love, I want people who will love me for who I am. I have absolutely no desire to change who I am for someone’s love or approval, and that definitely includes adjusting how much I put on makeup, for fucks sake.

I remember when my ex would make it a point to say that she liked how I looked without makeup too if I was wearing any. And if I’m being totally, completely 100% honest it rubbed me the wrong way each and every time she said it. It came off as a backhanded compliment, a weird attempt at boosting my ego in a shallow way or trying to nudge me away from being a femme. I’m not completely sure what her intentions were behind saying that, they may very well have been good and wholesome intentions, but I do know for certain that I just didn’t really enjoy that “awe but you look good without makeup too!” “compliment” whenever she said it. I just think it’s so pretentious of people to assume that there’s some sinister external factor behind me putting makeup on my face when really, I’m doing it with me and my preferences in mind and nobody else’s.

There’s something empowering to me about taking something feminine that’s painted as staying appealing in the “male gaze” and doing it for my own personal preferences and tastes and being my authentic self. Makeup and beauty are some of these for me personally. I think the debate about whether consciously choosing to adhere to traditional gender roles can be empowering is a silly one because there’s plenty of bigger and more concerning issues out there in the world. Let me wear my makeup and go take a stand against an actual injustice to women everywhere like FGM or child brides or acid attacks.

I also believe that nobody should feel pressured into wearing makeup without any true desire to in order to be considered attractive. I think that the only reason someone should be into beauty and makeup is because they genuinely are interested in and enjoy it.

[fishylife]

Spoilers for Ep 30 of the Rise of Phoenixes

I was SO IMPRESSED WITH THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!!

- I love HOW SMART everybody is at this point! Literally all the characters who matter can see through the easy shit. I’ll expand more on this in each of the character points.

- One thing I absolutely LOVE about this show so far is how easy misunderstandings are cleared up. Misunderstandings are one of my LEAST favourite tropes ever, and I’m glad that any misunderstands are corrected very soon afterwards (e.g. Ning Yi and Feng Zhiwei finding out about each other’s identity, Ning Yi finding out about Feng Zhiwei not being dead). In this episode, the misunderstanding was when Ning Sheng poisoned the food sent by Ning Yi to cause a rift between Ning Yi and Zhan Bi, but Zhang Bi saw through that immediately. Zhan Bi also knew right away when he met Ning Yi that he was the real Chuwang and not Ning Sheng. I’m not 100% on whether his deduction was due to any specific reason or whether it was just a feeling. I’m willing to bet on the latter, that it was a combination of Ning Yi maybe having some of the physical and personality traits of his mother, and also the solemnity of Ning Yi when he was speaking to the man for whom his mother died.

- Even with Zhan Bi not falling for Ning Sheng’s ploy, Ning Sheng had a plan B already set in motion. I’m actually quite impressed with his plot. Perhaps the only weakness was threatening Wei Zhi, because of how good s/he is at thinking on their feet. It would have been easier to threaten Ning Qi (like he had already done before).

- A big difference between Ning Sheng and Ning Chuan as big bads is probably that Ning Chuan has a much bigger ego. He was the first born son of the empress, so if he hadn’t messed up in any major way, he was probably going to be the crown prince anyway. Except he did mess up in many big ways and that led to his downfall. On the other hand, Ning Sheng doesn’t really care much about his current status. Even Shaoning makes a huge deal out of being a child of the empress (and looks down on children of concubines) but that doesn’t bother Ning Sheng at all. But Ning Sheng knows that he can get to the top just by using his wits.

- Ning Sheng and Chang Guifei are cold blooded af though. Ning Sheng is cool, but whenever Chang Guifei exerts her power, I get chills. Somehow, her soft power is even more frightening than Ning Sheng’s plots. Maybe it’s because for her, it’s about the power. She will never become Emperor, or even the Regent. Much of what she is doing is for Ning Sheng’s sake. I even think about her attitudes towards her siblings, and I feel a bit of fear. Her “love” for her elder sister was only a tool for her to get sympathy from the Emperor. The fact that she can “use love” so casually is so frightening to me. She tried to sneak around to find out what was happening with Ning Sheng’s plot. However, she was wearing a veil, and when she flipped up her veil, Ning Yi laughed. I wonder what, if anything, happened to her, and if there was any sinister cause to it.

- Shaoning moved to the background after her assassination plot on Ning Yi didn’t work. She isn’t as smart as the other characters, but she can still be used by Ning Sheng due to her hatred of Ning Yi. The friendship angst between Shaoning and Wei Zhi was interesting to me too. Wei Zhi was getting friendly with Shaoning, but likely not for any other reason than to simply not be on her bad side. Wei Zhi was trying really hard not to get involved, but since the “poisoning” incident of this episode, I think it’s clear that Shaoning will see her as an obstacle and an enemy.

- I am so, so impressed with Feng Zhiwei’s quick thinking in this episode. Neither Zhiwei nor Ning Yi knew what the poison was. From what we’ve seen in the story so far, Ning Yi will take the poison every time because he’d rather avoid rousing suspicion that he knew more than he appears to. For him, it’s always a risk he’s willing to take. However, after seeing that Shaoning took the poison willingly, I think Zhiwei realized that this was probably a safe risk to take. So when serving the drinks to the court, she added the “poison” to all the bowls. Honestly, this was such great thinking on short notice. I mean, the drinks was also kind of...plot device-y, since this is the first time we’ve seen food being served at court, but I’ll take it. I was super tense and riled up during this scene because Ning Yi seemed genuinely shook that his identity was being questioned. Luckily Feng Zhiwei saved him instead of playing the neutral party.

- Qiu Mingying is a smart mom, but we all knew that. When she and Feng Hao came to Wei Zhi’s house, Qiu Mingying had to speak in metaphors because there was no way Shaoning and her people were not spying on them. If I remember correctly, Qiu Mingying told Wei Zhi to go about his business as usual and not to mind them. But I think Qiu Mingying was also telling Feng Zhiwei that she should do what she must, and not worry about their safety. I wonder if this is the first step that Qiu Mingying is taking to accept Feng Zhiwei’s decision to be a court official even if she has to hide her identity. In any case, despite speaking in code, I thought this was a rare but nice instance of Qiu Mingying showing concern for her daughter and understanding that her child is involved in something bigger than they both might realize.

- I’m curious about Ning Qi. I wonder if he’s trying to play both sides, or truly just trying to stay as neutral as possible. When he came back to the palace, I think everybody had assumed that he was weak and naive. His mother wasn’t highly-ranked, and even she warned Ning Qi to steer clear of the brothers’ shady dealings. When he speaks with Ning Yi, he does seem like the younger 7th brother who’s entirely under the thumb of the 2nd prince. I don’t know if Ning Qi just has resting smiling face, but in court, he did have a smile on his face when Ning Yi was being accused. And when they were waiting for the Emperor, he had some encouraging words for Ning Sheng. I’m really curious if he has any ambitions or if he is really just trying to stay neutral/avoid suspicion.

- You can tell how tired the Emperor is in the last scene when he sees his sons + Wei Zhi in private court. When he was in court, I think he wanted to see how everything played out because he needed all of the information. He wanted Ning Sheng to go about his whole spiel because he needed to know what Ning Sheng had up his sleeve. It had never crossed my mind that Ning Yi might’ve been Zhan Bi’s child. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe it’s because Ning Yi and the Emperor seem to have a certain level of trust that just seems rather intimate. Anyway, I’m definitely interested to see how this will play out.

- I’m also not sure what Helian Zheng’s role will be moving forward, but I wonder if he will have a romantic subplot with Feng Zhiwei. He definitely is charming, but he also fits the “charming bad boy prince” type lol.

- I swear to god every time Ning Yi and Feng Zhiwei are interacting on a one-to-one basis the sparks are flying like crazy. This is the case whenever they’re alone, like when Ning Yi told Zhiwei that their feelings had to stay in the darkness, or even in this episode when Ning Yi seemed so happy about being able to drink at Zhiwei’s home. I love that separately, Ning Yi and Feng Zhiwei are strong, smart, ambitious, but when they’re together, they’re soft, kind, and emotional.

Ok that’s all I got for now but wow, the episodes just keep getting more and more tense.

[craftyshipper]

Bring Me Home, Chapter 4: Rogue

“Why exactly does it take this long for your regeneration to work?”

“It’s one of the downsides of my quirk.”

“What do you mean?”

“Come now, do you honestly believe I can just snap my fingers and he’ll magically come back to life?”

“Well no...but he’s been in a coma for nearly a year.” The younger of the two crossed his arms obviously annoyed that this was taking longer then he had initially expected.

“Our patience will be rewarded Gou.” Noboru smiled. “He should be waking soon, shall we greet him?”

__________

Gray and blue eyes came awake to a  blinding light, the brightness forcing him to blink rapidly to clear  his vision. Confusion spread it’s way though his veins and he shot up into a sitting position as he glanced around the room for any sign of a threat.

A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he bought his hand up to his head and clenched his eyes shut from the throbbing he felt. He glanced down at himself and noticed three large claw marks on his chest. The scarred tissue was thick and jagged from what he assumed was a nasty injury, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember from what.

Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember anything. The more he tried to recall his memory, the more his head pounded.

“Ah, you’re finally awake.”

He flinched as a male dressed in a white doctors coat, carrying a clipboard, appeared in the doorway.

"You were starting to worry us."

The red and white haired male stared at the man apprehensively, there was something off about him. There was obviously something up, if the slight tremble in his hands was to be believed.

"Where am I?" He demanded. "And you are you?"

"I'm the doctor that has been overseeing your treatment for the last year." The physician stated professionally. "You've been in a coma for the last twelve months."

"What?" Confusion spread across his face.

"You were on a job, but unfortunately you were injured, it took us hours to treat your initial wounds." He gestured to his patients bare chest.

With a quick look to his body, he noticed the claw marks, thick and jagged as they trailed from his midsection, just above his stomach and ending just a bit above his pecs.

"And who am I?"

"You never told us your real name when you came to work for us.” Another male appeared in the doorway, his hands settled in his pockets as he stared at the man on the bed. “We’ve been calling you Rogue since you joined us.”

“And what exactly is it you do?”

“That, young man, is what I’m here to explain.” A female appeared behind him, her spiky red hair struck a sense of familiarity in him but he couldn’t place it.

The black leather body suit wrapped around her curves and she couldn’t help the sinister smile that spread across her lips, it was unnerving.

“Hey there honey.” She sauntered forward, swaying her hips slowly before stopping by his bedside. “A little birdie told me you were having trouble with your memory.”

The red and white haired man flinched back, he had barely woken up. How did she know he was having memory loss when he just told the doctor not even ten minutes ago? A sense of dread sparked inside of him as the doctor approached his other side, holding out a needle.

“Sorry young man.”

“What are you-”

The physician forced a needle into his arm, a splintering pain crawled through his nerve endings.

I-I can’t move.

The woman placed her hands on his head, her hands began to glow a dark purple color as her eyes stared into his heterochromia gaze. Her eyes shimmered the same shade as her hands, before images began to flash in his mind, images he wasn't sure he has ever seen before, whether they were his or not.

But the blinding pain that came with it, made him not want them back at all.

__________

3 Years After Shouto's Death

"Rogue hit another lab."

The two officers along with Creati, looked over the crime scene photos, praying they would be able to spot anything that would give them a clue as to the identity of this man. Unfortunately, he was good at covering up his tracks, that included eluding the cameras. Even if they caught anything, his disguise didn’t give away any details either. The only thing they knew about him was that he had a fire quirk. And a powerful one at that. One could even rival Endeavors.

"What did he steal?" The Chief of police asked.

"The same thing he's been stealing, blood samples and research documents.” Creati stated as she looked over the photos again.

Over the last year and a half, Rogue had made himself known in the hero world as a slippery new villain. He had broken into a dozen labs throughout the country, stealing any and all research about quirks, including the blood samples from those that had volunteered to have their own quirk analyzed.  

"What is the goal here?" Tsukauchi rubbed his chin in thought. "What good are those to him?"

“I don’t know but I’m going to find out.”

__________

"Honestly I can't thank you enough." Momo smiled against the cell phone she had pressed to her ear. "You've been a big help these last three years."

"Don't worry about it dear, I'll take any chance I can to see my granddaughter."

"I don't doubt that." She laughed at Rei's words.

Shouto's mother, Rei, had become a big part of Momo's life after his death. She often stayed at the apartment with her to help her with the baby. And bless that child's heart, while she had Momo's dark raven locks, she inherited her father's heterochromia eyes. One black eye like hers and one blue one like Shouto's. Little Kira is beautiful with them.

The creation hero glanced at her desk at the hero agency she co-owned with her classmates. The picture she had set upon it was of her and Shouto, the last one she had taken on their date before they had left that secluded area. Next to that was a photo of their daughter and couldn't help but smile sadly. Even now, she still missed him, she was sure she'd always have this hole in her heart. Which was the reason she was still single. Dating was something the raven haired beauty wasn’t ready for.

Besides it wouldn't be fair to that person when her heart still belonged to Shouto. And with Kira turning two a few months ago, she was more of a handful.

"Momo?"

"Ah, oh sorry Rei!" She apologized a hint of embarrassment coating her voice.

"Thinking about him again?"

Momo would never understand how Rei and her own mother could know what she was feeling and thinking when they weren't around. A mother’s intuition she supposed. It was comforting knowing they already knew how she felt, even if she wouldn't always voice it herself.

"Yeah, it still hurts not having him here." Momo explained as her eyes traveling to the photo again and tears began to well in her eyes.

"I know sweetie, I miss him too." Rei's voice was laced with sadness. "But you know...he'd be proud of you."

"Do you..." Momo shook her head. "Never-mind."

"No, no, please. Tell me what's wrong.”

"Do you...” The creation hero trailed off again, before she breathed in deeply, trying to calm her emotions. “Do you think Shouto would have been happy about having a daughter?"

Rei went silent for a moment and Momo wondered if she was still on the line. She heard the deep shaky breath over the phone before Rei’s voice came back of the line.

"Momo, I know he would have been."

Despite the crack in the older woman's voice, most likely due to thoughts about her son, she was glad Rei believed so, it made her believe even more and that was all she needed to hear.

_________

“Are you ready for this job?” Noboru questioned his subordinate as he straightened the jacket of his black suit. “This isn’t one of our normal hits.”

“Always am.”

He chuckled darkly, glad to see the false memories his companion created were taking to Shouto quite quickly. Things were finally coming together, they only had two more labs they needed to get the last samples from and he could continue his work on creating the final nomu to destroy the hero society, including Endeavor.

“Don’t disappoint me.”

Rogue, as they had been calling him, had to resist the urge to snap back a retort, but thought better of it as he slipped on the black, flame resistant gloves. He rolled up the the long sleeves of his white dress shirt before adjusting the black vest across his chest.

His hair was parted from the left side, the red strands blending with the white as he brushed the bangs from his face and passed an annoyed glance to Noboru.

“Now get out there.”

“Yes sir.” Rogue nodded as a wicked smile curled his lips.

This was going to be fun.

__________

“Are you sure it’s wise to send him to that agency?” Gou questioned his higher up. “Won’t this create more problems than what we want?”

“Relax.” Nobaru smiled, as he stepped through a set of automatic doors that opened upon their arrival. “Our project is nearly finished anyway.”

“I wouldn’t call half a monster, nearly finished.”

Noboru only chuckled. “He will be after Shouto hits the last two labs tomorrow.” He moved to stand in front of a glass container. “Besides, his presence will throw them off, making it easier to finish what we need to do.”

“How are you so sure his memories won’t return when he sees them?”

“He may experience small flashes of images here and there, but he has to experience a traumatizing event in order for him to fully gain his own memories again.”

“Won’t that just confuse him and make him question who he really is?”

With a sigh, Nobaru stared at Gou, this young man was starting to wear on his nerves. He questioned everything and if this kept up, he wasn’t sure the male would live to see this project finished.

“You ask too many questions.” He glared at him, forcing Gou to step back in fear. “He will only believe someone there is trying to manipulate his memories.”

Thinking it was better for him to remain quiet, Gou didn’t respond when Nobaru answered his question, albeit with annoyance laced within his tone.

I only see this going bad.

__________

”Alright, great job everyone, another group of villains are off the streets.” Momo smiled and glanced at each of her friends, it wasn’t often they were all gathered in the agency, only when they completed a major job that took all of them.

Their agency focused on investigation and taking out rising villain groups instead of patrolling the city. It had been Momo’s idea, since Pro heroes mostly waited until the police had gathered enough information before being called into actions. But with their agency, they investigated closely with police and acted immediately instead of waiting.

It was the end of end of their work day, most of them having families to return home to. They had changed out of their hero costumes and now they were mingling in the common space before heading home.

Midoriya yawned and Uraraka giggled at him, being a pro sure had its downs but helping people had outweighed those completely.

“Hey Momo.” Midoriya greeted her as she moved to join them.

“Any luck on your end, figuring out the identity of that thief and arsonist?” Uraraka asked as she sipped from her water bottle.

Momo sighed. “No. I’ve gone over ever piece of evidence I could come up with, but haven’t got anything solid to go on. The places he hits are all quirk research labs, all of them having blood samples and data being stolen.”

“Hm.” Midoriya placed his hand on his chin. “There must be a way to catch this guy.”

“Are we sure it’s a guy?” Uraraka inquired.

“The body size and shape suggests so but I could be wrong.” Momo sighed with frustration. “I’ve never had this much trouble before.”

“We’ll catch him, whoever he is.” Midoriya encouraged.

“Yeah, but that leaves the how.” As Momo continued speaking, Midoriya notched something odd. 

“Uh, is it getting cold in here or is it just me?”

His question made Momo and Uraraka pause, their breaths coming out in puffs.

“Who’s messing with the damn air conditioner!?” Bakugo demanded as he marched forward.

“No one is.” Kirishima stated, his eyes falling to the thermostat on the wall that remained untouched.

Midoriya felt odd chills across his skin before his eyes widened. "Get down!" He barely managed to yell before the entire room erupted in a fiery explosion.