#which after ONLY seeing tim/lucy stuff was a SHOCK i tell you

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend, hoping you had a long, relaxing, holiday weekend!! Not a big Thanksgiving person myself, but I do like sleeping in. So tell me, should i start watching The Rookie, since it's a long wait after the mid season finale. Speaking of which, I'm mentally preparing for tomorrow, by which I mean bracing myself for some nonsense cliffhanger since they've literally set nothing up for any of the characters. Maybe the previews will change my mind, at least there's an actual fire??

Hello friend! We still had some of my mom's family in town from the wedding so that made Thanksgiving nice. I'm a big fan of food (especially the kind that results in leftovers), and lazy days relaxing and being cozy so that's always nice. We had my niece again though for almost a week and whooo boy does she tire me out. I also cannot get rid of this cough so I tried to do as little as possible, and mostly binged tv while working on a new crochet craft my office mate requested for a Christmas gift for her daughter and watching my room fall even further into disarray and disaster. We also tore out our living room carpet. Needless to say I do not feel rested and ready to go back into the office tomorrow! But I did get to have several nights of staying up late and sleeping in so that's always a plus for my night person brain.

As for The Rookie, it's good! Being cop-centric it's naturally a lot of copaganda, and a lot more "finding bad people doing bad things and chasing them down" and less of the "helpful" side of first responding we see with 911, but it does have a more hopeful bent than I was expecting, and quite a few moments of "they're not bad people just regular people who made a bad choice/had bad options". I was also prepared for Owen Strand levels of "main character screentime/storylines in what should be an ensemble show" syndrome with Nathan Fillion's character but it hasn't been too bad so far. Lots of female characters and so far I've enjoyed all of them. I'm bored with Tim's current LI because I'm already on the Lucy/Tim bandwagon, but I like the character and think she's interesting and have enjoyed her scenes (QUITE refreshing), and Nolan's LI storylines are also boring to me personally like Owen's were because I just find his love life to be the least interesting thing about him and prefer his screentime when it's looped in with the police stuff because it includes more of the main characters that way. That being said, I did like his LI's so far (almost done with season 2) and they were both involved enough in the things close to his job that they were able to be involved in main storylines going on. It's been enjoyable so far! It definitely hasn't struck the same chord as early 911 did since it's naturally a little darker in nature just due to the focus of the job (being called for crimes/solving crimes vs being called for rescue), and I haven't bonded to any of the characters as much as I did with the firefam, but I do really like all of the ensemble characters. Also it's been nice seeing threads being teased and storylines leading places and trauma being addressed right away instead of being forgotten about immediately and *maybe* cropping up later if we're lucky.

Speaking of all that mess, it's interesting that from what I can see, most of the buzz around 911 right now is about what is coming in the spring. Since the show has close out Hen's arc, and we know Buck's is dragging out for awhile and Madney's stuff has happened mostly off screen or been cut entirely, what are we even looking forward to for the finale? I said in the tags on another post that at least with s5 we were hoping for a Chim and/or Maddie cameo or at least phone conversation we got to see one side of (robbed), the BT breakup (ROBBED), and Eddie's breakdown that had been teased all season (partially robbed but at least the cliffhanger didn't come out of nowhere). But this season? Pretty much ANYTHING is going to feel like it came out of nowhere unless it's the start of the Buck breakdown because nothing else has been happening consistently enough to make sense. And even a Buck breakdown is a little out of the blue since he's been excited about the sperm donor thing since his talk with Hen and the firefam finding out was treated as a joke and there was zero follow-up in 6x08, and zero follow up on the "couch" thing OR Lev's death since those happened at the start of the season. Finding an issue with his sperm or issues with the couple COULD be something but given that it looks like the spring will have an opening disaster it's likely there won't be tons of follow-up until 6x12 and if we're lucky and get hurt Buck in the spring opening, then things *should* be about that and not the follow-up on the sperm thing anyway soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

There's just like....NO direction for this season. Things are happening but having no impact, even when the potential for impact is RIGHT THERE, and instead of things being sprinkled into every episode it's like, ONE episode about a thing and then nothing for weeks. Hen's arc this season has been good, but with SEVEN main characters, you can't have only ONE of them having a clear direction their story is moving across NINE episodes. I guess we'll see tomorrow but on the bright side, as you said at least there's an actual fire AND we get the firefam in yellow wildfire turnouts with the added bonus of no Lone Star filter! Silver lining.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday :) Ep been wanting to get to. Anytime we get little more depth to them and Tim as a character I’m a happy girl. I forgot s2 only has 20 not 22 eps HA We’re almost done which is insane to me. Feel like we just started s2. So after this one we have 3 left in this season. What a trip. Let’s delve in shall we?

2x17 Control

Thanks to Nolan our couple starts their day off with some foot patrol. Grey wants them more engaged with the community. Tim lets her know that while he finds foot patrol annoying he agrees this is important to do. That it creates trust and likability therefore they get more help. Lucy seems real impressed with his answer. I always love when Tim impresses Lucy with his insight. Also when she makes sure he knows how enlightened she finds him. She's hot for Tim in these moments haha

Lucy loves when he shows her his moral compass about this stuff. I said it last review Tim as a person is very attractive. It's definitely huge part of her draw to him. A random guy comes up to them asking for legal advice. They stop and address him. Lucy fully expects Tim to answer this man’s question. I’m rolling when he tells this guy they’re movie extras’. Lucy’s double take is too damn funny. How she kept a straight face idk. He’s such a grumpy old man sometimesI love it. Or as Aaron says in s5 he’s like the old dude from 'UP' LMFAO I love you Timothy Bradford haha

Lucy's smile when he tells her they’re not google is too cute. We all know she loves her grump of a man. She’s enjoying him cracking a joke with a side of heart eyes to go with that smile. Look at him cracking jokes. So proud. Their comfortability level at this point is off the charts. His sense of humor is so fun to see. (He cracked me up too. I laugh every time.)This came out all on its own. I love him so easily making one around her. Lucy is quite amused and enjoying it herself.

Side notes I love about this scene. The ever wonderful height difference I legit can’t get enough. How damn in-sync they are as they’re walking together. Honestly the entire scene. Look at them. Lastly a fan favorite the the lack of personal space. Within inches of each other at all times. Like moths drawn to a flame. Always gravitating back to one another. Their physical chemistry without touching always floors me.

We rejoin them still on foot patrol. Lucy asking Tim if Rachel was disappointed she canceled on her last night? Trying to justify to Tim why she ended up bailing on their bar plans. Clearly residual PTSD from Caleb manifesting into her doing this. She’s clearly wanting to be relieved of the guilt she feels for canceling on her.

Tim is usually that person for her with his insight and telling her like it is. Not this time...She doesn’t get the reply she wants unfortunately. Just Tim being a lying liar who lies, when he says they don’t ever talk about her. Ok honey we believe you…I’m sure he actually talks about her more than Rachel would like. Lucy is offended with his cavalier answer LOL

Their convo gets interrupted by a dope stealing Girl Scout cookies. He runs and ends up in someone’s windshield. One of the little girls shows up from the troop to help them. Tells them they can use her scarf and pen as a tourniquet. Even tells Lucy where to apply it. Pretty impressive composure for a kid haha

Tim’s face is my favorite part when she asks if she can get a badge for this? He’s not sure what shocks him more. Her knowing how to do this or asking for a badge for it haha Lucy’s smile back at Tim is pretty cute. I feel like this will be them as parents when their kid does something that shocks them haha

The fire dept. arrives and so does Emmett Lang. Not gonna lie everyone he is smokin. I remember first time I watched this episode, I was thinking holy hell this man is attractive. Lucy deserved someone on this level of hotness to re-enter the dating world with. He is instantly flirty with Lucy. Telling her his condolences for Tim being her T.O. (good thing Tim misses this part ha) Lucy has zero problems flirting right back with him.

Honestly good for her. This is so needed post-Caleb. She’s crashing Jackson’s date plans and canceling on Rachel. She needed something to get her back on her feet. Just like Rachel was the perfect person for Tim post-Isabel. Emmett was for Lucy in the aftermath of 2x11. Girl needed a win and to feel it was ok to re-integrate back into the world of dating. Quite the score to start back up with if I do say so myself ha

They flirt some more at the hospital. Emmett basically asks her out and Lucy panics. Lies says she has something going on. Oh my girl. That PTSD is showing and I can’t blame her. Just hate seeing it affect her. Tim comes up and says it’s time to go. He says bye to Emmett and Lucy makes the connection they know each other. So she leans on her lifeline since she’s having doubts.

Tries to ask Tim about Emmett. Says he seems nice. Trying to get a beat on him through Tim’s eyes. Tim doesn't understand her line of questioning at first. Just giving short answers that give her no depth. He's thinking nothing of it until she gives him that look above. Then he quickly pieces together what this is.

He instantly disengages about it. Telling her 'No.' Not S1 Tim 'I could care less about your life.' disengaged. More 'I don’t trust myself to give you the right advice.' kind of distance. He wants no part of this. Lucy seems so upset he won’t talk to her about this. This scene is funny in how he cuts it off. How upset she seems. The pointing of his finger. Sadly we know the deep kernel of truth he feels to that final line of the scene.

The weight he’s still carrying around about her abduction. He doesn’t trust himself to vet Emmett for her. Since in his mind he failed so spectacularly with Caleb. He’d rather pass that emotional responsibility off to someone else. The weight that’s already on his soul is crushing...he can’t add to the load. Oh my broken boy. I wanna give you the biggest hug.

Lucy breaks my heart when Jackson tells her he needs alone time with Sterling. Lucy realizes she’s a third wheel. Has been for awhile now. She is horrified by this. Luckily Tim saves her with an OT opportunity. Joining the DEA operation Nolan and Harper are running. Lucy instantly jumps on it. She looks so upset walking away from Jackson. My poor girl. I want to give her a hug. I wanna hug them both in this one. This OP was blessing in disguise for her to do though. We get the best part of the episode during the stakeout.

Lucy is "on the phone" with Rachel saying all the things she wishes Tim would engage her on. He’s shaking his head as she rambles on. It’s so funny. Telling “Rachel” she’s been using Jackson and Sterling as a crutch. That together they make the perfect BF. Saying how they’re safe and that's why she keeps choosing them. My heart. Tim interjects 'Who are you talking to? 'Cause he knows it’s not Rachel.

John interrupts asking if they want coffee? He is going on a run. Lucy is her adorable self and asks for a chai tea latte all excited. Tim cuts her off saying this is a stakeout he's not going to Starbucks LOL Lucy rolls her eyes at him. He’s such an ass sometimes but I love him dearly rough edges and all. John is so sweet tells her he’ll see if he can find her some vanilla creamer LMAO

Lucy returns instantly to her fake convo and Tim can’t take it any longer. Has to call her out in the most Tim Bradford way he can. By calling her and proving she isn’t on the phone…Lucy is mortified but answers LOL Poor girl she just wants to talk it out with her person. I’m a lot like Lucy in the way that I need to talk things out. If I don’t they’ll eat me alive. I have a compulsive need to confront things and not let them fester.

It’s good to have that person you can talk it out with. If you don’t you start to self advise and that’s never good. Tim is that for her. Her sounding board. To her she has a problem she reaches for the lifeline that is Tim to sort it out. So him denying her that catharsis is messing with her. Why she created this fake convo. It got his attention so in the end it worked.

What kills me the most with this scene is both their reactions honestly. Lucy for being utterly shocked Tim would think his opinion had lost any value post-Caleb. To her it never ever occurred to place any blame on him. To trust his gut or opinion any less because of her DOD trauma. Breaks my heart Tim doesn’t see this before they have this conversation. That he truly believes his opinion has lost its value in her eyes after Caleb.

Lucy is astonished he would think she doesn't want his POV. She lives for it. Its the most important one in her life. Tim is so very vulnerable with her with his follow up answer. So proud of him for this vulnerability BTW. Nothing scarier than being emotionally exposed with another person. You can see it written all his face. That guard is down. We see the toll this guilt has taken on him. He unburdens his soul to her. Tells what has been eating at him for months.

That his advice pushed her towards something that could’ve ended her life. Since then he has devalued his place in her life. Doesn’t find himself worthy to advise her in personal matters. He fought against it for so long. Then he gave in and Caleb happened. In his mind proving why he never should’ve gotten involved in the first place. Chiding himself for getting close to her and having that closeness which put her in danger.

Lucy truly had no idea the guilt he'd been carrying since 2x11. It’s six episodes later. At the earliest that's 6 weeks at the most its a little over 2 months if we include her recovery time. The latter is the more likely timeline. That’s a long time to be carrying a burden she never placed on him. She can't stand that he's done this to himself. Lucy immediately wants to put him at ease. Trying to offload that burden and chuck it far away. It never once crossed her mind he would take the sole responsibility. Because not for one second did she ever blame him for it.

She vehemently reassures him it wasn’t his fault. He could be told by everyone under the sun it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t going to stop mentally flogging himself till Lucy forgave him. She is all the things he needs in this moment. Letting him know she thinks it’s ridiculous he would blame himself, that no one had any reason to suspect Caleb for what he was, and overall what happened wasn’t on him. Lucy is taking that weight off his shoulders and throwing it away. Never allowing him to pick it back up again.

He looks so damn relieved and honestly very vulnerable after she absolves him. It helps him start to close a self inflicted wound. Eric the king of facial expressions killing me softly in this scene. His eyes and the way he looks at her when she said wasn’t his fault. *heart clutch* He couldn’t even look at her till she said that. Then when he does he's in awe of her. Like he can't believe she doesn't blame him but is so grateful for her saying as such.

I love her also sharing it wasn’t hers either. It was not at all. (Growth for her too.) Looks like he's biting back his emotions when she lets Tim know how valued his opinion is. It's so sweet. He needed his sunshine human to apply some balm to his wounds. No one does it better than Lucy. She’s complimenting him while also reliving him of the guilt he’s been harboring for much longer than she would’ve liked.

Had she known this she would’ve absolved him the day after honestly. No way she would've wanted him carrying this guilt day in and day out. Her opinion matters so much to him. He NEEDED to hear her say these words. It had to come straight from Lucy or he’d never let it go. She reassured him that not only did she not blame him but his opinion was one that matters most to her. Two things that were in question for him. Quelled the storm in his soul.

It’s scenes like this that are the true building blocks to their foundation. Why they end up working so well in s5. I will die on this hill of loving every single moment of this slow burn. I’m so glad we had 4 seasons to truly make them rock solid. It was so necessary for them as a couple. I don’t regret the wait at all. Because piece by piece they were building toward ‘The Really Beautiful Place’ Lucy calls their relationship in 5x18. Everything happens for a reason for them before we get there. This is just another wonderful facet of it.

The minute he’s granted access and allowance to give her advice he doesn’t hold back. His way of showing he cares too. I love them so much for their ability to just bounce back like they do. After a deeply emotional and vulnerable chat they're right back to the banter. Easily fall back into teasing one another. Tim basically says in not so many words Emmett isn’t good enough for her.(I mean no one is but Tim lets be honest.)

Lucy probes and asks why he thinks that? Tim doesn't hesitate in the slightest. Saying he’s a firefighter for god sakes LMFAO. Clearly has a prejudice against them. For whatever Tim reason that may be. Lucy being all cute saying 'Yeah that’s what makes him so hot.' ha She’s not wrong the man is fine af.

Tim gets defensive and says he doesn’t want to talk about this if she gonna be contrarian about it. Which is Tim speak for being jealous let’s be real honest. Lucy doesn’t hesitate to call him out on it. God I love her. Jokes he’s just threatened by his ‘hunkiness’ I mean he is….his reaction alone proves that he is. It’s ok Tim she still thinks you’re smokin too. She just can’t have you just yet haha

I love them ending this scene on a funny bantery note. Shows how much Tim cares about her. The fact that he is allowing this conversation to even take place proves that. Indulging her in this. They’re so married with their banter. I Iove them sfm. Soulmate behavior the way she teases him about everything and he allows (and loves) it. We leave the scene smiling and laughing at these blissfully unaware idiots in love.

Harper has Lucy and Tim chase what they think is the decoy vehicle once their stakeout is made. They soon realize the decoy vehicle has their target and Nolan’s CI. They end up getting T-Boned in the pursuit of it. Hurts to watch. They're both knocked out cold. I adore how the first thing Tim asks when he comes to is if she’s alright. Always puts her first. The soft way he says ‘Chen’ then asks if she’s ok. It’s the little things I love so very much. ❤️

Emmett arrives on scene flirty as ever with Lucy. She decides to be honest with him. Tells him why she declined his date offer. That her social life is complicated right now. He is smooth af with his reply. Tells her once it’s not he’ll still be interested. Their scene ends pretty cute. This is so good for her. I’m really happy to see her get back out there. She really needed him to help her get over her DOD hump. Just like it’s nice to see Tim happy the same goes for Lucy. I love them both individually as as much as I do together. This cute flirt session is well deserved after all the trauma she’s been through.

Thus ends our episode for them. Such a damn good one for them. I love their building block episodes. They do depth and growth like no other. How I love them so.

Side Notes-Non Chenford

Nice to see Angela get her foot back in the door for Detective. Well earned after her fallout in S1.

Harper SL's and her backstory. Getting to watch her in UC action always fun to watch.

Thank you to those who take the time to like/comment and reblog. Means the world to me. Fuels me to do each review.

See you all in 2x18 :)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Who wants to live forever; Brian May x reader

Hello all of you tumblr people you. I hope you all had a good Valentines day yesterday if not then I hope you had a blast of reading fics like I did (while also suffering through a cold yeah this girl’s been sick this week since the day after my bday) But I’m not here to talk about colds or any of that stuff, no I am here because I wanted you all to read a special Brian May fic that I have been thinking about doing.

Now I have seen a lot of fics revolving around Brian’s song “39” which is a good concept, but what I wanted to try out was the song that was made for the movie Highlander “who wants to live forever?” Which is such a powerful and sad song in itself (as is the movie). So while you all patiently wait for the next update of my Rock Angel series, every now and then you’ll see oneshots whether platonic or romantic revolving around our 4 boys of Queen.

Warnings: Swearing, INTENSE FLUFF *mostly from the Poodle boy down below*, angst, some smut *not very descriptive but minor smut none the less so >18yr olds READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I DO NOT WANT TO GET SENT TO JAIL FOR THIS.* and spoilers for those who haven’t seen Highlander (which you all SHOULD. Queen Music EVERYWHERE!!)

Now that that’s out of the way, enjoy my darlings :)

Song Link

Taglist *Queen fics*

@alexfayer

____________________________________________________

Most people always think about what it would be like to live forever.  Never dying, never growing old, always remaining the same. Like a living, breathing photograph walking around as time changes. My cousins and I were having that usual conversation as usual since they were always fearing what would happen in the future or fearing death itself.  As we sat around our usual favorite pub having a girls day out, I was away in my thoughts unaware that my cousin Lucy was trying to talk to me.

“(Y/n). (y/n)? Earth to (Y/n)!” I snapped out of my dazed state and said.

“Hmm wha? What did you say?”

“Jesus (n/n), you were so deep in your head you were almost drooling.” Lucy teased.

“Probably dreaming and thinking about that husband of hers.” My other cousin Hanna said.

“Fuck you both.” I said as I downed down my whiskey shot.

“Wow what a mouth. You kiss Brian with that?” asked Hanna in mock shock.

“In all honesty, how are things going between the two of you?”

“Things are great, the kids are good. Queen has been doing good, right now they’ve just got accepted into recording for a movie. But I’m not allowed to talk about it.”

“Aww come on (n/n) we promise not to tell.”

“Yeah right Luce. For all the years I’ve known you, you’ve got the biggest niche for gossip. If I told you then half of London will know what’s going on.” I sassed her.

“Wow harsh. You wound me so much (n/n).” she said as she placed her hand over her heart while I stuck my tongue at her chuckling at her.

“Back to our conversation before, you never gave us an answer. In fact you barely give us an answer at all when we talk about this. What do you think about living forever?” Hanna said.  I looked at her and said.

“I don’t know guys I mean…..”

“Oh come on (y/n). Haven’t you ever thought about it? Not even once? Never getting any older, remaining as beautiful as you are today. Seeing how the world changes each generation. You and Brian staying together forever.” Hanna stated the last phrase slyly.

At that statement my ears perked up.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you and Brian could remain together forever. Never once having to see the other die and remain alone suffering until it’s your time to kick the bucket. You and Brian would remain eternal forever.”

Okay well that may have persuaded me to side on the wishing to live forever.  The rest of the day my cousins and I continued to chat, eat and drink until it was time to call it a day and get back before the husbands did.

I was in the kitchen making dinner while Jimmy and Louisa were watching TV.  As I was cutting up the vegetables for the salsa and as I put them into the pot, I felt two arms wrap around me which startled me before I relaxed and knew who it was.

“Jesus, you know how I feel about you sneaking up like a tom cat while I’m cooking. Don’t you remember the last time when I nearly chopped off my finger because of you?”

“Which I why I timed it better. I thought you’d be happy to see me?” I turned towards my husband of 10 years and boyfriend of 18 years.  Brian and I had met each other during University back when he and Roger were still with Tim as Smile.  He and I were both the same majors so we both had the same physics professor, he was so shy so I actually approached him and asked him out on a date.

One coffee date turned to another and soon we shared our first kiss with each other. And at that moment the two of us kissed, I knew he was the one.  Because it felt like I was kissing myself, meaning that I had found my soulmate.  I was there supporting Brian all throughout the Smile career and then when Freddie came along and changed Smile to Queen and their careers as rock stars skyrocketed, I remained loyal to Brian’s side.

But of course like every relationship there’s arguments especially when I had fallen pregnant with our son Jimmy a few years ago.  There have been some fights so bad that I felt like we’d ended up divorced but like a family, we tried to make it work and we just fit so well together that we ended up staying together.  Because that’s what we are.

Two stars forming the same constellation.

I turned back around towards Brian and said.

“You know I always am.” He leaned downward and captured my lips with his in a genuine kiss.  I let out a soft moan as I wrapped my arm around his neck burying my hand into his mess of curls.  I turned around so that his arms wrapped around my waist bringing me closer, deepening our kiss when we heard.

“EWWWW!!!” Brian and I separated from each other to see Jimmy at the kitchen entrance and I buried my face embarrassed into Brian’s chest and that’s when Jimmy said again.  “Why must you two kiss? That’s gross”

“Because your mother is beautiful and you always kiss a beautiful girl. One day you will understand Jimmy.”

“Girls are nasty!” he groaned out.

“Oh so does that make me disgusting? Huh?” I chased after my son who raced off before finally catching him and tickling me and pretending to gobble him up.

After having supper and putting the kids to bed, I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed myself after having a long day at the lab while Brian was on the bed and I could hear him humming and mumbling to himself.

Whenever he’s inspired or trying out new guitar riffs, he’s always mumbling to himself just so he could test it out.  Sometimes he uses a tape recorder just so he could go back to it, sometimes he doesn’t it just really depends.  But I know that when he’s mumbling to himself to not disturb him so that he wouldn’t lose it.

So I just listened to his humming and babbling.  It sounded more like a ballad than the usual rock and roll that he would do. And I thought it was only just one song that the boys agreed to do with the movie they’re working on.  Once I was done getting around, I got into bed and just listened to Brian as he kept writing down on pieces of paper lyrics and guitar notes.  When he finally took a break, I finally spoke up.

“That’s beautiful. Is it for the movie?”

“Yeah, we actually got to see the first footage of it. And after seeing it, we had to write more. This is my song for it.”

“So you and the boys got to see the movie? Remind me what’s it called again?”

“Highlander.”

“Ahh. So what happens in it?” Brian turned to me and he said.

“Ohh no love, we were sworn to not give away any plot points. You’ll find out when we go see it at the premiere.”

“Come on Brian you know I can keep a secret.” I said as I crawled up towards him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and burying my face into his neck.

“Why must you always seduce me to get something out of me?” he asked. I kissed his jawline and whispered in his ear.

“Because I know it works.” He turned towards me and his eyes turned to pure lust as he said.

“You Dr. May are a siren of the seas.”

“And just what are you going to do about that Dr. May? You gonna show me the stars?” He crawled over me so that I was now lying on the bed, his face barely inches away from mine as he whispered.

“I’ll show you more than just the stars my love.” He captured my lips in a passionate and heated kiss and our tongues dancing together in a heated dance.

It’s unbelievable that after all this time together, Brian can still make sparks fly off my sky with either a single graze of his long, calloused but delicate guitar fingers, a kiss onto my skin, or whispers in my ear.  Our bodies intertwined with each other in a sensual yet love making dance.  All the while staring deeply into each other’s eyes not once breaking contact with each other as every now and then our lips would graze against each other’s before joining together in a passionate meld once again.

By the end of it all, Brian and I were cuddled together my head resting on his chest hearing his heartbeat his right arm was wrapped securely around my waist tracing patterns and shapes along my back while his left hand was stroking down my hair.  I stroked through his chest hair softly while feeling a kiss being placed at the crown of my head.

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live forever?” I asked out of the blue. I felt Brian’s head move away from mine and I looked up at him and he asked.

“What brought this up?”

“Just a common topic my cousins like to talk about. This time they really wanted my opinion on it. Tried to make me side with the idea.”

“And do you?”

“If it meant you and I would be together forever…..maybe. Is that bad?” I asked genuinely wondering if I had answered the question right.  Even for a female astrophysicist like myself who knows pretty much everything about the cosmos and the galaxy, this was one answer I had doubts about.  Brian leaned his forehead against mine, our noses gently grazing one another’s and he said.

“I think there might be a trial to that question that will make you rethink it. But it will have to wait a few more months.” He gingerly brushed away some strands of my hair away before cupping my cheek lovingly.  “Sleep now my darling, you look exhausted.”

“You have no idea. Discovering new planets and stars really drains you. You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with that.”

“One day I will though. That way I can be around you more.” He brought me closer to him before kissing my nose delicately making me scrunch it up which made him chuckle softly. “You always make the cutest face when you scrunch your nose love.”

“Yeah right.”

“No, no I mean it. But then you’re cute all the time.” I shook my head at his cheesiness and said to him.

“Goodnight my bright moon.”

“Sleep well, my shining star.” He whispered lovingly as he pressed his forehead against mine.  We kissed each other one last time before cuddling with each other and falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Then on March 7th, 1986 we went to America for the premiere of “Highlander”. Queen was invited to walk the red carpet since they were in charge of the music so they had immediate invites. After walking the red carpet and the press getting the pictures they wanted from the actors, film crew and even of Queen, we all piled in the Chinese theater and soon the film began.

Highlander told the story of a man named Connor Macleod who had been chosen to become an immortal and each immortal is chosen to battle each other until one can remain and claim the ultimate prize.  If used for good the prize would bring about goodness, but in the hands of evil it would be nothing but chaos.

Along with the action, there was a tragedy to it.  Connor had to outlive everyone he ever came in contact with.  His first wife sided with his village and drove him out because they thought he had made a pact with the devil to remain alive after being slain in battle.  It wasn’t until he met his true love Heather.

After a tragic scene that happened I heard the sound of an organ starting up and soon my husband’s soft angelic voice began to sing as the scene went to a flashback of Heather and Connor together after Juan was killed by the Kurgan.  As the scene went on, I felt this ache in my heart as Freddie’s voice soon came up and as Connor rode back to their house calling out for Heather that’s when the tears really spilled out.

Because Heather was now an old woman greying and wrinkled while Connor remained unphased and young.  But he still held the same love as he had when she was younger.

As Heather and Connor had their last moments together as the song now played its instrumental track, tears were spilling down my face as Heather made Connor promise to light a candle for her on her birthday.  As she now lay in Connor’s lap and Connor was describing the Highlands to her, I felt Brian take my hand and as I turned to him, he leaned his forehead against mine and kissed away my tears as we turned back to the screen as Heather now died and Connor burned his home and had to move on.

Heartbroken and alone.

By the end of the movie, people clapped and I wiped away my tears and clapped along with them.  Now seeing the movie began to change my perspective on eternal life, and now I know exactly what to tell my cousins next time the three of us are together.

Getting back to the hotel room, I immediately grabbed Brian by the collar of his suit and kissed him passionately.  His arms wrapped around me and when air became a burden, I separated from him and he said.

“I take it you loved the song?”

“Brian Harold May, you are a musical angel. Why must you always write the most beautiful yet sad songs for Queen?” He smiled down at me and kissed me softly before holding me close.

That night we were both cuddled into the bed, our limbs entangled with one another’s as I had my face buried into the crook of my husband’s neck.

“I couldn’t bear to outlive any of the boys, our kids. Grandkids. People always look at eternal life as this positive thing. But they don’t understand that it’s not all that happy. It must be so lonely. I hope folks get that out of this movie.”

“I hope so too. I also know this,” he gently hooked his index finger underneath my chin and had me look up at him as he continued, “If I were offered whether to live forever or dying at your side. I would choose the latter. Because I would rather share one lifetime on this earth with you, than face all the ages to come alone. And I know that in the end, we will meet each other again. For we are two parts of the same atom, two stars of the same constellation stream,” he spoke softly as our hands slowly came together and we both either turned them either clockwise or counterclockwise until finally our hands were palm to palm, fingertip to fingertip.

“Two souls intertwined throughout the cosmos. Destined to be together forever, even after death do us part.” I finished our wedding vows.  Brian leaned closer and captured my lips with his in a gentle kiss. As we separated from the kiss but kept nose to nose Brian stared deeply into my eyes as he softly smiled at me lovingly.

“Sleep now, my bonny (y/n).” I smiled tiredly at him as his index and tall finger lightly came over my brows and softly slid down to close my eyelids as I felt him very lightly peck my forehead, the tip of my nose, cheeks and finally my lips. I nuzzled into his chest, burying my hand underneath his nightshirt and the two of us fell into a blissful sleep.

*Extended ending*

A few months later after getting the chance to go see my cousins again after a busy day at the office these past few months, I told my cousins about the movie Highlander since it was now out in the UK and I gave them my real answer when it comes to immortality.

“Never would I wish to be immortal.”

“And why’s that? I thought you and Brian would want to be together forever?” Lucy said.

“But in the end we’d have to suffer as we watch everyone we love die. Freddie, Deacy, Roger, our kids, our future grandkids, you ladies. I wouldn’t know how to continue on without all my friends and family in my life. Plus as a mother I never want to bury my child before me. That’s not how life is supposed to work.” At that statement, my two cousins were crying and they too began to rethink their perspective of eternal life.

Immortality.  Some people long for it because they fear of death, or just don’t want to grow old and wish to remain young forever.  But immortality isn’t just a blessing, it’s also a curse in disguise.  For those we love have to die before us while the immortal continues on in life, lost, heartbroken and alone.

So answer me this, who wants to live forever?

[sorayahigashikata]

Chapter 49: "HOT GIRLS NOW."

[sunkissis]

We bought our house ten years ago. I have told this story many times about how we put thirteen offers on twelve different houses and each time we were outbid. After searching online, going to open houses every weekend and having my heart broken for an entire year, it was a miracle when we bought our house. I remember going to the open house on a rainy day in January to see a small cute house with a large backyard. I was already skeptical walking in but the good news was due to the rain there wasn’t as many people there as it would be on a sunny day. The bad news was the house had one bathroom, old plumbing and was a few blocks from Eagle Rock, the neighborhood I wanted to live in. Despite the issues and feeling numb to the house hunting process, we put in our bid, wrote our standard letter to the owners explaining why we could only afford to offer full price, we didn’t expect any response. However, I was already falling in love with the backyard and  making plans for the kitchen by that evening. Turns out there was two offers submitted and believe it or not our letter must have worked. Our offer was accepted. HOORAY!!

We went through weeks of torment getting the bank appraisal, the inspections telling us we would spend close to $35,000 in foundation repairs and my neurotic doubts that we would actually be able to buy a house in Los Angeles. We had already fell out of escrow before so every step was nerve-racking. Our amazing realtor was able to negotiate $15k in repairs taken off the price so that covered all of our closing costs. My Mom has always told me things happen for a reason and I couldn’t see back in 2006 that Highland Park would develop into the family friendly, most desired neighborhood it is today. That York Blvd would be dubbed the Abbot Kinney of Northeast LA or that our house would become the home we would raise our daughter in. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with this house over the years but the same can be true about most of my life’s relationships. You have to learn to appreciate something. It takes time, nurturing and patience to create a bond. I am grateful that we didn’t buy those twelve other houses that had major structural issues, were located in questionable areas and were well over our budget. This house was meant for us.

Antz and I have been talking about getting the foundation repaired for years but tuition, travel and our lifestyle have been priorities that have made it hard for us to start the work. We were able to tolerate the cracks in the walls and doors that stick when it rains but we both knew we needed to get the work done before something terrible would happen. (Like our house fall down the hill it sits on!) Our good fortune was buying in an up and coming area. Highland Park has become a hot neighborhood, so our equity skyrocketed and we were able to refinance. Lucky for me I had my friend, neighbor and talented contractor, Rene. Rene and his crew were awesome and I’ll enthusiastically recommend him to anyone looking for a contractor.

We had an moderately long list of things to repair but he worked with our limited budget.

Just an example of one of my weekly to-do lists. Rene and his crew ended up doing all this work.

Repair foundation Repair loose bricks on the porch Patch/Paint the exterior of the house Paint front door Repair front door threshold Repair roof leak Remove iron bars on windows Repair and straighten exterior wall Remove popcorn ceiling/crown molding Install new drywall Repair and stain wood beams Patch/Paint living room Install built-in shelves Paint back door Repair back door threshold Repair fireplace hearth tile Build our new bed frame (I finally upgraded to a King size mattress because I couldn’t pass up their Black Friday sale and Antz and I are giants so sleeping on a queen was miserable)

**Electrical wiring/Repair and replace living room electric outlets/Install ceiling fan/light fixture

We hired a different electrician because our first guy was being shady and we weren’t happy with his work.

The entire project took about eight weeks but only because we had a minor delay which I’ll get to later. During the construction we lived in our small bedroom which we will never do again! Serious cabin fever set in due to the over crowding from having to shove all of our furniture and belongings into the kitchen, the hallway and Liv’s bedroom. In hindsight, I should have budgeted for a rental but I really wanted to stay on budget and that would have left me with zero money for new furniture. More than once during the remodel, I found myself quoting Lucy Ricardo complaining to Antz (Ricky) about how awful our furniture looked! Hint, hint.

Our living/dining room before the remodel

I liked our fun, colorful living room but it still felt cramped and dark. I longed for white walls and a popcorn-free ceiling. I love our original fireplace but the hearth was damaged and the tile was cracking due to the foundation moving. I was in denial that we owned too much stuff but as we were packing things to clear out the room, it was obvious, I needed to let go of half of our stuff. I donated books, knick-knacks and the clunky old bar we never used. We had boring beige colored walls, honey-orange, scratched hardwood floors and inherited two Tiffany-style antique ceiling fans which I think were purchased in the 1990s. They swung precariously on the high setting and the glass sconces were broken so the only thing holding them on was the light bulbs. I was afraid to even clean them because the tony screw holding them up were warped and any pressure would have caused them to  It was time for an update. Out of all the work we planned choosing light fixtures proved to be most stressful for me. I loved the 1920’s style ceiling fans from Rejuvenation but they weren’t quite right for the price. Then I headed over to one of my favorite stores, Schoolhouse Electric. I was surprised to find they don’t carry ceiling fans. So my final and best option was West Elm. I wanted a fan that had a dimmable light setting, in bronze to coordinate with our new ceiling. The only issue was the ceiling fan I chose was a special order and would take four weeks to be delivered. This held us up for some time but luckily, it only took two weeks to arrive. I even got 30% off thanks to Black Friday sales!

Day one!!

My painters were amazing, it was terribly hot but they worked non stop and serenaded me to 80’s tunes. They sanded every inch of the 93 year old wood.

Things were happening inside too.

For some odd reason, there were speakers hidden in the attic. After careful inspection we didn’t find a bag full of money or a treasure map so out they went. We also found disgusting insulation that I’m positive was unhealthy to breathe. After a few hours with a hammer, our ceiling was gone and these stunning attic beams were uncovered.

There was no way we could cover up these gorgeous wood beams with boring drywall. We told Rene that instead of our plan to install a new ceiling, we would rather expose the attic ceiling to give the space a dramatic feel. This meant adding more drywall to the walls and reinforcing the beams. We decided to keep four of the beams after a debate about keeping all of them. We also found random wires that didn’t appear to work so we needed to hire an electrician to rewire and reroute them. Timing is everything and by removing the ceiling we were able to see the beams moved from their original position which could have caused the ceiling to cave in. We were shocked and relived! The front wall of the living room moved four inches forward away from the house. We knew our house had many issues but this was very dangerous. Rene was able to move the front wall back in place.

Yikes, wasps nests in the attic! Our old HVAC ducts had to be rerouted since we no longer had a ceiling.

The most nerve-racking day of the project happened to coincide with Halloween! We weren’t even home when they moved the wall because Liv had a party at her school. By the way, we were Oktoberfest themed this year since Liv wanted to wear a costume we bought from her ballet school. Antz was not so keen on wearing lederhosen.

I found our costumes on Amazon. Liv is in heaven when she wears a corset and tulle!

Not being home was actually a good thing because I couldn’t stop envisioning our front wall falling down and all our beautiful windows shattering. I must have texted Rene fifty times that afternoon. By the time we got home our wall was straight again and only one small window pane cracked. Bravo Rene and crew!

The crew added new wood beams to support the roof. I learned that the older wood beams are actually stronger than the new wood but it was wise to increase the reinforcement because the old construction wasn’t measured with today’s codes. So we were on the fast track to finishing the drywall and prep for painting the interior when we got held up by the elephant in the room.

That eyesore you see was our 41 year old furnace. Yep, our central air and heat system was older than I am! I asked Rene if he could push it back into the attic so it wouldn’t stick out but that was easier said than done. Here is the major setback we faced.

This guy totally looks like an elephant’s trunk. Rene informed me the unit was hooked up to a gas line which would have to be rerouted, something he wasn’t capable of doing. Then there was an issue with the weight of the unit and moving it back would then push it directly on top of the ceiling of Olivia’s bedroom. There was no way I wanted a old piece of machinery sitting over where she sleeps so moving the unit was not an option. This meant we had two choices, leave it were it was and drywall around it or purchase a new unit. I didn’t plan to replace the HVAC but this is the joy of a remodel, you always have an unexpected expense. I received three quotes and chose with the most environmentally friendly company and the second most expensive system.

The central air and heat work extended our timeline an additional three days. When the workers removed of our old unit we discovered the system was faulty, not up to code and hard wired which is a major fire hazard. The poor guy removing it said the unit began to spark and smoke when they took it apart. So, it was a miracle we decided to expose the attic or we would have just covered the ceiling and continued using our old system even though the unit was expensive, noisy and barely blew any air through the ducts so we had to run it for longer periods. So don’t cheap out folks, it may just kill you!

We chose a more efficient unit that was lighter yet sturdier, pleasantly quieter and new metal ducts that wouldn’t blow dust like our old plastic ones did. Hello, I am happy I no longer sneeze all day! We got an incredible deal, the new unit cost $7,600 with a ten year warranty. My favorite part besides the lower electricity bill and the peace of mind of our properly installed system, is we can program the thermostat from our phones. Hooray laziness! Our old unit would stay on all night because once we fell asleep we would be too tired to get up and turn it off. Now I can set it by temperature or timer from my phone or computer.

Our plaster walls were a hot mess. I can’t help but compare the work we got done to our house to a 93 year old woman getting plastic surgery. Thank goodness Rene is our skilled surgeon. He was so resourceful and he has the most talented crew I’ve ever worked with.

So while all this was happening indoors, our house was being patched and painted outside. Antz and I were so confident with our house paint color when we picked it at the store, we had no doubt about it when we painted a swatch. However, when the painters put it on the wall of our house, my heart sank. It was the exact shade of blue as a Smurf. I cried, called Antz to come home and see the shockingly bright blue and we unanimously agreed to change the color. The color change was a slight hiccup because Rene had already purchased $600 worth of bright blue paint and we had to pay for the day of work lost to our two painters. It was an expensive mistake but there was no way we would be happy coming home to this Lego blue house!

So after my unnecessary meltdown, we went to the store, talked to the manager and he assured us he would darken our paint. We even walked around our neighborhood comparing the dark blue and grey houses trying to make up our minds. I originally voted to paint our house matte black like sf girl by bay but I was vetoed. It works on Victoria’s house but ours has too much red brick and we are colorful folks. Antz worked his artist magic and found the perfect shade of navy for our house.

Before, during and after. Isn’t that an insane improvement?! Please remember to test your paint swatches at different times of day! We tested ours in the front of the house which meant it was in the shade. Seeing the same shade of blue in the direct sunlight made a vast difference. I am in love with the our cheery yellow door!

We removed one of our two bougainvillea bushes to open the space next to the backdoor. I asked our gardener to stop trimming the tops before the summer and after six months flowers finally began to bloom. We recently had our glass windows replaced for free through a city program sponsored by Los Angeles department of water and power. They offer home energy audits to help homeowners make their houses more energy efficient and lower your monthly bill.

Due to our house’s bad foundation, our porch had loose bricks that everyone would trip over. Antz has repaired them many times over the years but Rene actually found the source of the problem and pulled up the entire section of the porch. He discovered that the bricks weren’t anchored into the ground and just floating over a broken foundation. I was so worried about replacing the original bricks but they guy who removed them didn’t break a single brick during the work!

This saw cut through the concrete like butter. They did all this work in like an hour!

I was so impressed with their work and was kicking myself for asking Antz to keep patching the loose bricks for all these years. The work only cost us $750 to repair the porch for the long term. This experience has taught me to stop just putting a Band-aid on a problem and just go ahead and get it fixed by a professional. I was so overwhelmed by how expensive I thought it would be, it stopped me from just getting the work done.

There is no better feeling than having solid floors and straight white walls. Our front door has slammed for ten years because our front wall was crooked and it was just mind-blowing that it no longer slams. Now all of our windows can open and it feels like we got a brand new house. We have had iron bars on two of our windows which I find to be odd because they are inaccessible and the smallest windows in our house. It was a bitch to remove them (they had to saw them off) but it makes such a huge impact now that the iron is gone.

I somehow squeezed a few extras into our budget which was mostly adult-boring work. I have wanted built-in shelves forever but with crooked walls and corners that were always moving because of the bad foundation, it wasn’t a possibility. I almost contemplated painting the fireplace mantle white to match the new shelves but I am so happy we didn’t. Now I have ample storage space for my huge art books that didn’t fit on our old bookshelves.

Rene graciously repaired our broken tiles on our fireplace hearth.

So on the last day of our two month project, I was elated at the transition. Wow! look at this lovely blank canvas! Yet…don’t those floors look lackluster? When you are over-budget and having to figure out some way to create a budget to get our floors refinished, you brainstorm with your practical, spendthrift husband. Antz was able to sell our old couch, the coffee table, a mirror we no longer used and our old Ikea chair. I wouldn’t have thought that anyone would buy our old furniture but thanks to the Nextdoor app, we were able to fund our floors!

It took three days total for the floor refinishing which meant we had to stay out of the house for 48 hours so the floors could dry. We spent the weekend at my Mom’s house and when we saw the result, it was the cherry on top of our remodel. I am so grateful to all our workers who handled my silly questions and requests (I literally drove them crazy reminding everyone to not touch the freshly painted white walls and I kept leaving post-its around the house with notes of things they needed to finish) with patience. They were respectful, reassuring and always smiling even during the hottest days. One of my guys told me, “I’d rather be here working and sweating than at home comfortable and broke.” We gave all our workers a small bonus because they were awesome and they deserved it.

Muchas gracias mi amigo! You are the raddest contractor in Los Angeles. We are in love with our beautiful house. The photos of the remodel are coming soon.

Our House Remodel Part One We bought our house ten years ago. I have told this story many times about how we put thirteen offers on twelve different houses and each time we were outbid.