#which have not been fully paid off since right before covid first hit

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Woo did at least one productive thing today and finished submitting my taxes

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x01- Previously on...

Welcome back!! I’m so excited to be writing one of these again. I think this hiatus has been the longest I’ve gone without new Diane Lockhart content in ten years, and it sure feels like it. A lot of important stuff has happened in the time since TGF season four ended (not concluded—ended). Most notably, CBS All Access became Paramount+ and suddenly started offering a lot of content I care about! I kid. 2020 was quite an eventful year, so I was curious how television’s most topical show was going to take it on. TGF is always forward-looking, but too much happened in 2020 to be ignored. And while I didn’t think TGF would have much to say about the pandemic, it seemed impossible to imagine a season five that pretended it never happened. Going into this premiere, I was expecting that they’d either skip COVID entirely or include very few references, but after seeing this episode, I feel like the writers took the only approach that made sense. And that is why they are the writers, and I'm just some girl on the internet who writes recaps.  

Anyway, before I dive into the episode, I should also note that my pandemic boredom spurred me to actually pay $30 to watch this episode early as part of the virtual ATX Festival. Yes, I paid $30 on top of the money I spend every month on Paramount+ for this show. But I write tens of thousands of words about each TGF episode—are my priorities really that surprising? I note this not to brag or even to poke fun at myself, but because watching the episode before I knew a single thing about it (not even the title!) completely changed my viewing experience. I’ve never had an experience like this with TGW or TGF. I’m one to search for critics tweeting cryptically about screeners and refresh sites looking for background extras (haven’t done this in the TGF era, though) and read every single piece of press I can find. For any big episode, I usually know the outline of what to expect going in (I even knew about Will before the episode aired in the US!). Not this one! So, I got to be surprised, and I had to—gasp—formulate my own opinions before I knew what anyone else thought! It was really pleasant, actually. I think the structure of the episode worked extremely well for me because it caught me by surprise... and also because I’m the kind of person who somehow managed to write a college paper about Previously On sequences.

I see Tumblr has made it so that “keep reading” expands the post in your dash instead of opening a new tab. I absolutely hate this. Here is a link to the post you can click instead of the keep reading button! 

The ATX stream started mid-sentence, meaning I missed the “Previously On... 2020...” title card and skipped right to Adrian saying “I’m retiring.” It was pretty easy to pick up on the device (the directness of the scenes at the start, their cadence, and their placement in the episode made it clear this was meant to mimic a Previously) but the second title card hit way harder because... well, I had no idea if this was meant to be 2020 or some moment outside of real time until a bit later in the episode.  

Man, before I get any farther into this, two things that I don’t know where else to put. First, this episode had to cover so much ground. They had to write out both Adrian and Lucca—more on that later--, figure out how to deal with all of 2020, figure out how to either wrap up or continue all the truncated season 4 plotlines, and set the stage for a new season... in 50 minutes.  

Second, just wanna shout out the Kings’ other Paramout+ show, Evil, which you should absolutely be watching even if you hate horror. Evil is a Kings show, so it is unsurprisingly topical (sometimes evil takes the form of racism or misogyny or Scott Rudin) and at times very, very funny. I would be recapping it if Paramount+ weren’t attacking me personally by airing it at the same time as TGF. Ever hear of too much of a good thing, people?! (On that note, I am VERY upset with myself for not having made a Good vs Evil joke about the Good shows and Evil. I didn’t even think about it until Robert King made the joke on Twitter, and it was right fucking there. How did I fail so miserably?!)  

So STR Laurie, who wants a 20% downsizing, is still a thing. Noted.

This scene with Landau is the only one in this previously that is actually old footage, right?  

Unexpected Margo Martindale! Yay! (Ruth Eastman is a character who is so much more effective on Fight than she was on Wife and I’m quite glad they’ve had her appear on Fight several times. It kind of redeems season seven. Kind of.)

I don’t think the writers intentionally chose for Adrian’s book deal to be with Simon & Schuster because it is the most politically fraught publisher (the number of stories about controversial memoirs they’ve picked up in 2021 alone...) but I kind of like that Adrian’s Road Not Taken involves S&S. My guess is they chose S&S because it is owned by ViacomCBS.  

“Years ago, I wanted to create a law firm run entirely by women, but it never worked out. So, why not now?” Diane says to Liz. One of the advantages of having twelve (!!!) seasons of Diane Lockhart is that we’ve seen what she’s talking about. And we’ve seen her put this idea forward multiple times, too. I have my reservations about Diane’s brand of feminism, and I’ll say more about how fraught a Diane/Liz firm would be as the show explores the potential issues there, but on the surface I’m kind of excited about the prospect of a Diane/Liz led firm. Diane has wanted this for ages, Liz is a good partner, and this actually makes sense (unlike the nonsensical Diane/Alicia alliance of late season seven, where the only rationale was “well, Alicia needs to betray Diane in the finale, but they’re not on good terms. So maybe we make them business partners so then the betrayal stings more?”). Plus I fully love that Diane would end up running a firm with Alicia’s law school rival.

(Has TGF mentioned that Liz and Alicia were law school rivals? No. Am I still clinging on to that as a large part of Liz’s character? ABSOLUTELY.)

Julius is on trial for Memo 618 reasons; Diane is defending him. So this is still happening. (There’s more old footage here.)  

Do they put these references to one/two party consent in these episodes as a wink at the fans? It has to be intentional. (Please do not ask me what the actual law is on this, this show has thoroughly confused me.)  

I knew Cush was filming stuff for TGF, but I didn’t know it was for the premiere. She was just posting about it a few weeks ago, so either they shot a lot of it right before air or she posted a while after filming. Anyway, yay Lucca!  

Bianca’s still around. And, TGF gets to shoot New York for New York, since Bianca is there. I do wish TGF could do more location shoots; there’s something about seeing an actual skyline that feels more real.  

Bianca wants Lucca, who has never been outside of the country (except to St. Lucia, as Bianca reminds her) to go to London and buy her a resort. It’s supposed to be a three week stay and Bianca’s already arranged childcare. Speaking of children, because of COVID and filming constraints, that’s Cush’s real kid in this scene! You can’t really see him, but I recognized his curly hair from Cush’s Instagram, and the Kings confirmed in an interview.  

Adrian wants to write a book about police brutality cases he’s worked on. Ruth very much does not want him to write that book. She wants him to write a book without substance about how white people and black people can work together. He, understandably, has no interest in writing this book. (Also, you can see in the background that Ruth doesn’t think Biden’s odds of winning the Democratic primary are good—there is a big down arrow next to his picture, which definitely dates this scene.)

Oh, David Lee is in this episode. He acts like an asshole towards Marissa when she’s trying to help him.  

Marissa, not happy with the lack of respect, calls Lucca for advice “for a friend.” Lucca mentions she’s in London and Marissa does not believe her and keeps going on and on about her frustrations and her new desire to become a lawyer—quickly.  

Marissa wanting to become a lawyer because she “hates being talked down to” is not a plot I would’ve expected but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense. I think Marissa’s used to being respected and praised even when she’s doing things that aren’t glamorous, so I see how she’d get very restless when she’s no longer outperforming expectations and is instead taken for granted.  

Bells toll in the background on Lucca’s side and Marissa asks where she is. Lucca again notes she’s in London and Marissa still doesn’t believe her.

I’m going to miss Lucca so much, especially since we’ll also be losing a lot of the Millennial Friendship scenes with her. Cush is fantastic (even if she never really got enough to do here) and she plays so well off of the rest of the cast. I even sometimes liked the writing for Maia (who?) when she had scenes with Lucca, Lucca is that good.  

Jay wakes up sweating and unable to breathe, so he deliriously calls his father-figure Adrian. This whole scene is shot like something out of Evil and (I’m getting ahead of myself here) this plot is the only thing about this episode I felt was a misstep.  

“I think you’re my father,�� Jay says to Adrian. Heh, I didn’t catch this line the first time around (maybe subliminally I did, since I just called Adrian his father figure lol) but I love that it is included here. Adrian and Jay’s relationship definitely deserves a goodbye.

Adrian calls an ambulance and also gets to Jay before the ambulance somehow. Adrian notes that Jay might have “this thing from China” and... we’re doing the pandemic, y’all. (Minor nitpick: on March 13th, 2020, when this scene is dated, COVID was not “this thing from China”-- we were all aware of it. March 11th was the day Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson announced they’d tested positive and the NBA shut down and travel was restricted and every single brand that had my email sent me a message about their plans and measures. March 12th was the last time I was in my office, and we’d been getting emails telling us to wash our hands and prepare to work remotely for weeks. I went to San Francisco in mid-late February and distinctly remember deciding to leave a burrito unattended on a table while I washed my hands because I was paranoid about COVID... and then I remember making a specific trip to Walgreens to buy hand sanitizer so that didn’t happen again. My point is, Adrian lives in the same world I do. On March 13th 2020, he would not be treating COVID like it was some new thing he’d vaguely heard of.)  

(I am going to nitpick this timeline, but please know that I’m only doing it because I can, not because I think it’s necessarily a bad choice. Lines like this do feel a little forced, but I see the reason for introducing COVID as something new rather than going for the line that’s exactly historically accurate. I also am pretty sure there are references to dates in March/April in s4 of TGF that are now going to be contradicted by this episode, but I truly do not care. The writers get a pass on this one.)  

We skip slightly back in time to the beginning of March after the MARCH 13TH title card, or maybe this is supposed to be after March 13th and my own memories are preventing me from believing these face-to-face interactions were happening. Who knows.

Michael Bloomberg is... here, again, I guess? He asks Diane to assist with a Supreme Court case about gun control. I guess it does add some weight to the plot and make the stakes feel higher.  

Oh hey, this case is the 7x17 case!!!! Love that continuity.  

Diane and Adrian are both at the office late, working, and there is an unnecessary split screen that feels even more unnecessary when you consider that the editing alone was enough to create the parallel.  

Diane and Adrian have a nice convo (which I’ll really miss, their dynamic is great and this really feels like a successful partnership) as they wait for the elevator. When the elevator dings, they nearly tumble down into nothingness because... the elevator never came. Apparently this is a reference to an law old show I’ve never seen that killed off a character this way, and it’s meant to be a wink at how they are not going to kill off Adrian.

I do not know why I remember this, but I do: after they killed off Will, a critic (Noel Murray; I just googled to confirm my memory) who didn’t want to spoil things tweeted, “Exactly 23 years and 2 days ago, Rosalind Shays fell down an elevator shaft.” Please tell me why I remember this reference that I didn’t even understand well enough to have tracked down the original tweet in under a minute. (https://twitter.com/NoelMu/status/447942456827326464)  

Back on this show, Diane and Adrian share a drink and talk about their wishes. Diane wants to argue in front of the Supreme Court, and Adrian encourages her to speak up. His own near-death experience motivates him to trash the book Ruth has him writing, and Diane trashes the (bad) legal strategy someone else prepared for the Supreme Court.

DIANE IS WEARING JEANS!!!!!! Tbh, I think my favorite part of this episode is how many slice-of-life scenes and settings we get. These are always my favorite moments. I love the satirical and political stuff too, but the character moments are what get me invested enough to write these. (Yes, Diane in jeans constitutes a character moment.)  

Diane tells Bloomberg she wants to be involved and advocates for herself. Kurt gets a call on their landline (hahaha) from Adrian.

God, I love Diane and Kurt. Not only is their banter fun, you can just see a different, more relaxed side of Diane in these scenes. Diane tells Kurt she has good news for herself, but bad news for him since she’s arguing for gun control. She asks him to help her prep for court, too.  

So this is before Jay is rushed to the hospital, because now we are back at the hospital with Julius, Diane, and Marissa. I do not believe any of these people would be setting foot in a hospital like it’s any other day on March 13th, 2020. But I'm trying not to nitpick.

I get why they chose to give Jay a rather severe case of COVID. I just don’t get literally anything else that follows from the initial shock of Jay having COVID.  

I see why the writers chose March 20th (the actual Illinois stay at home order) as the next date for this timeline. I still do not believe that people were in this particular office on that date.  

You know what else I don’t believe? That RBL just shut down for two weeks and was like, no work is being done. Did law firms really do this? I can believe it if it’s an excuse to cost-cut, and I know there were massive layoffs, but this seems... really weird???  

Why are they setting up a teleconferencing infrastructure (didn’t they have one at LG? In season five?) if they are not planning to do work?  

Lol Diane explains what Zoom is, very slowly. She asks everyone to “download a program called Zoom.com” which is one of the first Zoom jokes I’ve chuckled at in a while.  

Marissa is not happy to hear that there’s no work for her in a work-remote world (this I believe 100%), so she calls Lucca again with more questions about law school.

Love these NYC and London location shots. Wish they could do that for Chicago.

Lucca asks Bianca to help get Marissa into a law school, fast, and Bianca tells Lucca to use her name... then offers her a job.

Marissa is at the office, alone, boxing up her things, when one of the office phones rings with some dude offering her a spot in a law school class. I guess we are really all-in on this! (Why would Lucca have given a firm phone number not specific to Marissa, though?)

Adrian and his corrupt girlfriend decide to shelter in place together. I still do not understand why he is okay with her being corrupt. I also don’t really understand why they’re going from talking about sheltering-in-place to George Floyd. How did we just skip from late March to late May? Are Adrian and corrupt gf having a conversation about sheltering-in-place two months into sheltering in place?  

Okay, I am not doing so good at this no-nitpicking thing. Again, I understand why they need to merge several scenes into one to keep things moving. And I guess they could just be getting around to this conversation.

I’m going to nitpick again, I can’t help myself. How did we just go from a scene of Adrian specifically talking about sheltering in place to a scene of Adrian bursting into a bustling and maskless DNC headquarters room? How!? The only masks in this scene are on TV!! There are like ten people in this scene!  

Anyway, more importantly, Adrian tells Ruth off and screams at her that she needs to listen to him instead of acting like she knows the way forward. He is completely right.  

Why is travel from London closing down in May 2020? Is it because this scene is supposed to be at a different place in the episode? Liz is asking Lucca to come back home from her three week stay in London (which has now lasted three months but travel is just now closing down), and Lucca’s hesitant to come home.

This is all happening via Zoom, btw. Lucca’s in her hotel, Diane and Adrian are at their respective homes, and Liz is in the office. All of this feels right. There is a chat off to the side of the screen where you can see Adrian and the others discussing how to unmute on Zoom. Very real. Though probably not very real in late May 2020. Feels more like April. I am convinced this scene got spliced in later to help the episode flow because everything in this scene (except the TV footage that definitely was added later) feels like it should be happening in the March section.  

Lucca mentions that Bianca offered her a job, and at this point we as viewers know how things are going to go—Lucca's going to end up taking it. Liz types in the Zoom chat that they don’t want to lose Lucca. When Lucca tells them how much Bianca’s offering ($500k/year, go Lucca!), Diane types “Shit.” into the chat. “Shit’s right,” Liz replies. “Yes... What should our counter be?” Diane replies. Lucca is kind enough to point out the messages are not private (again, this feels like March not May) but I think knowing that their reaction to topping $500k is “shit” tells her all she needs to know.  

Diane’s background still says that RBL is a division of STR Laurie. Weird how little we are hearing about the overlords except the 20% staff cut.  

Liz and Adrian chat and decide the only way to keep Lucca is to make her a partner. Which, yeah, if you’d just made her a partner years ago when you told her she was in the running for partner and then offered it to fucking MAIA, maybe she wouldn’t be considering Bianca’s offer. Lucca is definitely one of RBL’s stars, and I don’t think she’s wrong to feel like they don’t value her enough. They treat her well enough to be upset about losing her, but not well enough to have already made her partner and not well enough to actually give her authority (even though she runs a whole department). I’d be pretty unhappy too. It kind of feels sometimes like they take her for granted, and I don’t know that Lucca is one to feel like she owes a company anything. She’s more of an “I’m out for myself” type.  

Madeline and the other partner we’ve seen a few times who isn’t Liz/Diane/Adrian, walk into the office (wearing masks! Which they take off as soon as they enter a room with Liz! Without asking her if she is okay with this! TV logic!) and ask who is replacing Adrian. They think this is a good time to reevaluate having a white name partner of an African American firm, and they are spot on. Liz tries to deflect, noting that Diane is already a name partner and was before Liz even joined, but Madeline and other partner (whose name I really wish they would say so I can stop calling him “other partner”) won’t let up. Their position is that Diane shouldn’t have been made a name partner then—all she did was bring in ChumHum, an account that quickly left the firm. Good point.  

“What is this firm if it’s not African American? It’s just another midsized all-service Midwestern law firm, one of 50,” Madeline argues. The other partner says Liz needs to remove Diane and promote two African Americans to name partner. Liz laughs and asks if they mean themselves. Madeline does not—she's concerned about the number of black associates they’re letting go. Liz heads out, but this conversation is very much ongoing.

And I think it’s a very interesting dilemma! There’s a lot of mileage the writers can get out of this, because I don’t think there’s a right answer or a wrong one. It’s all about what Liz decides she wants the future of the firm to be. If Liz chooses Diane, she might be choosing something that works for her personally or that she thinks is a safer financial bet—but she’ll be choosing to work at a firm that can no longer be thought of as a black firm, and she’ll be choosing to move away from her father’s vision for the firm. And since the plot hinges on what Liz will decide rather than what’s objectively the right path forward, there’s a lot of interesting tension there I can’t wait to see.  

(My favorite thing about Adrian leaving is that Liz will likely get more to do, especially when it comes to managing the firm. Adrian tends to speak up first, but Liz is more than capable of managing without him and I’m so excited to see what she does when her ex-husband isn’t constantly talking over her.)  

Marissa and Lucca video chat with Jay. He’s still in the hospital. One thing that bugs me about how this episode handles COVID is that I never really get the sense that any of the characters are particularly afraid of the virus. Maybe none of them were. But you’d think you’d see a little of that fear, the weird dance of trying to assess others’ comfort levels with masking, etc., in an ep specifically about living through this time. ESPECIALLY since someone they all know and are close to has been hospitalized for MONTHS with this thing! It’s just so weird to go from a scene where people wear masks until they come in contact with other people (when masks matter the most) to a scene of someone in the hospital with COVID.  

And now Jay’s weird hallucinations start as his battery dies on the video chat. I really, truly, hated these hallucinations. I was ready to be done with these from the second they started. They’re weirdly shot, they go on for too long, and they feel like the clunkiest parts of Mind’s Eye when Alicia starts having a debate in her mind about atheism mixed with the (far superior) hospital episode of Evil.  

I don’t have much to say about these hallucinations except that I hated them a lot. When there’s the reveal that Jay is hallucinating a commerical, I almost came around on the hallucinations because that’s kind of funny and inspired. And then several more hallucinations popped up and they had a round table and Jesus got added to the mix and I was like, nope, this is bad in a very uninteresting way. I reject this.  

I feel like the Kings didn’t have much to say about COVID, the actual virus. This episode is definitely more about what the characters’ lives were like during COVID and not the pandemic itself. I think they likely got a lot of their COVID commentary out of their system with their zombie COVID show The Bite (I have not seen The Bite due to it airing on Spectrum On Demand, which I have no way of accessing. Like, I would have to move and then decide to pay for cable in order to watch it.) I also suspect a lot of their commentary on COVID isn’t going to be specific to the virus and is instead going to be about things like mask-wearing and vaccinations becoming political. And, really, that’s just a new variation on talking about polarization... and they’ve been talking about polarization for years.

In fact, they even wrote a whole series about an outbreak of a (space-bug-spread) virus that caused political polarization before Trump was even elected. BrainDead is basically commentary on the pandemic before the pandemic even happened. Soooooo I get why they are more interested in recapping 2020 than in doing a Very Special Episode about themes they’ve been talking about for years. (I still think they would’ve benefitted from at least one character being afraid of getting sick or getting their family sick.)  

There is likely some interesting content in these Jay hallucinations. I hate them so much I cannot find it. You know when you’re just on a completely different wavelength than the writers? This is an example of that.  

Also I’m not a fan of the shadowy directing. I think this is meant to look cooler than it does.  

Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely love the “Previously On” device for this episode? It’s such a fun, propulsive way to get through the slog of 2020. Scenes can be short and to the point, and each scene has to do a lot of lifting to fill in the gaps. I think that leads to scenes that are better constructed and telling on lots of levels—where are people when they’re quarantined? Who’s wearing casual clothes and when? What about this scene defines this character’s life at that moment in time?  

Bizarrely, even though this episode is pretty much all plot (this happens! Then that!), I actually found this to be one of the most character-driven episodes TGF has ever done. There’s a lot of story, but most of that story is about how the characters reacted to 2020 rather than overarching plots that will weigh on the rest of the season. This episode covers a lot of ground, but it does it with character moments that resonate.  

Now it’s July and Diane’s prepping to argue in front of the Supreme Court. Kurt’s helping her witness prep and it gets a little personal... and that ends up turning Diane on. Good to see McHart hasn’t lost its spark. (Remember how Kurt cheated on Diane in season 7 of Wife? No, me neither, because that never happened.)  

Corrupt judge is back. Adrian playfully tries to distract her from work. Then he takes a video call from Liz, who updates him on the conversation she had with John (so that’s his name) and Madeline. I guess that part of May was close to July? Anyway, Adrian isn’t surprised to hear that people are upset at the prospect of Diane being one of two name partners.  

Liz is at the office in workout clothes and I love it!

They’re losing 15 black associates (and Adrian and Lucca) and 4 white ones, Liz says. This sounds like a very big problem. (I’d be curious to know what that is as a percentage of the firm and how the racial composition shifts.)

Liz knows it’s not exactly up to her if Diane stays on as name partner (the other partners get a vote, but I think Liz knows she has a lot of sway here). She’s also wondering if Biden could win, and if so, would it be to the firm’s advantage to be black-owned? Interesting.  

“Well. If you’re thinking it, then Diane’s thinking it, too,” Adrian says. He’s right. “White guilt. It runs verrrrry deep on that one, huh?” Ha. He is right about that, too. I actually can’t decide which of these interpretations is correct, because it could be either even though they seem contradictory. (1) Is Adrian saying it with a hint of mockery because he knows Diane will fight for her partnership even as she would say she’s a huge supporter of black businesses? (2) Is he saying it because he knows Diane would have enough white guilt to realize what her presence as a partner means and think through the implications? I think it is, somehow, a combination. I’m interested in this line because this whole dilemma (from Diane’s POV) is something that’s very familiar. Diane’s always been an idealist who will betray her ideals for personal gain. That sounds like an attack, but I mean that as neutrally as I possibly can. There are so many examples of this that this is kind of just a character trait of hers at this point. Usually those ideals are about feminism, but this situation seems closely related.  

Adrian overhears Corrupt GF talking about Julius, Diane, and Memo 618. You would think she would wait to have this conversation until there is no chance of Adrian overhearing, because if Adrian overhears, he might...

... do exactly what he proceeds to do and hop into a car with Diane to give her a heads up. (I think I’m just going to have to accept that the mask usage rule on this episode is “we use masks to show that the characters would wear them, but we don’t want to have scenes where characters are fully masked because that’s annoying.” If that’s not the rule, then why else would Adrian be masked outside... and then take off his mask as soon as he gets into a confined indoor space with Diane?  

Baranski looks ESPECIALLY like Taylor Swift in this scene.  

Adrian tells Diane what he knows. He dug deeper after overhearing Charlotte, so he has even more info. “If you tell me, I will use it,” Diane warns. Adrian knows that, so he takes a moment to decide. And he decides that he cares more about Diane and Julius than about his relationship with a corrupt judge.  

Diane and Julius are masked in court. Visitor and the judge are not. They use masking in a clever way in this scene: Diane uses being masked to her advantage because it means no one can possibly read her lips, so she can use the info Adrian fed her against Charlotte without any fear of spies. Charlotte, who is unmasked, guards her lips with a folder, as the Visitor watches interestedly.  

Diane convinces Charlotte to recuse herself. Charlotte says she’s making a mistake; Diane does not care.  

The new judge is, unfortunately, the idiot who doesn’t know anything about the law. Uh oh.

Charlotte decides she’s done sheltering in place with Adrian. He tries to talk through the conflict, but Charlotte says “You made your choice, Adrian. Julius Cain over me.”

“The choice was about right and wrong, Charlotte,” Adrian tries to explain. I mean, yeah, but if you’re dating a judge who has admitted she’s totally corrupt, didn’t right and wrong go out the window a while ago?

Adrian seems to think the other people involved in the events are bad and Charlotte is good. I am not convinced. I don’t think she’s the big bad, but I don’t think she’s good.  

Charlotte points out that he invaded her privacy. She is right about that. “You said the choice was between right and wrong. Turning over my emails was the choice,” she said. I get her POV. But also, she is corrupt.  

I do not like the way the part of the scene where Adrian physically restrains Charlotte to keep her from leaving is shot. I don’t think this is an abusive scene but I think it should’ve been shot from a little farther back so we could see it’s more like Adrian reaching out in desperation than trying to choke Charlotte. Because it very much looks like he is trying to choke Charlotte.  

He tells Charlotte he loves her. She says it’s too late and leaves. “Maybe you won’t be with me. But you keep down this path... you’ll be done, I’m telling you, you’ll be done.”

I think something that I’ve been missing in these interactions is that I didn’t quite realize until this scene that the Adrian/Charlotte dynamic is more interesting than Adrian liking a corrupt judge. I think he truly believes Charlotte is a good person who got caught up in some bad stuff, and that she can bounce back from it. I’ve always seen Charlotte as someone who is corrupt for herself and then ended up going along with the corruption of others, too, so I’ve dismissed her and the relationship. This is the first scene that has felt real to me, and the first scene where she’s felt like more than a caricature. Kind of sad it’s the last she’ll get with Adrian—now I’m actually starting to find her interesting. Notice how in these last few sentences I’ve used her name instead of “Corrupt GF”!  

Charlotte says she loved Adrian too, but that’s not enough. Awww.

He can’t really be surprised though, can he?  

Now it is August and we get to see Diane and Liz react to the announcement of Kamala Harris as Biden’s VP pick, and I would like to thank the writers for giving me the opportunity to see Diane and Liz react to this. It’s kind of fan-service, but it’s also a nice tie-in to the girl-power theme of the Diane/Liz alliance.

Diane and Liz realize that Adrian’s probably not a good candidate for 2024 if the DNC only wants one black candidate and Harris is the clear front-runner. Liz suggests keeping him on as partner instead, in a way that very much implies this would be her ideal solution. Diane, being Diane, says she was liking the idea of an all-female firm. Liz hesitantly says she was too, and Diane senses the hesitation.

“Let’s look again at which associates to fire. I’m worried we’re losing too many African Americans,” Diane switches the subject. How have they still not made this decision? If any employees know downsizing is coming, and they’ve had months to act on it, assuming there are jobs elsewhere, people would’ve been jumping ship by now.  

But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is that Liz corrects Diane: “Black. You can just say Black people.” Very nice moment underlining the tension. Diane means well, but she’s still acting like a white lady who doesn’t know how to act around black people... and she wants to (and, I guess, already does) run a black firm. Major yikes.  

Marissa and Lucca are talking again. Marissa does not want to be in law school—she just wants to be a lawyer. Lucca won’t accept Marissa’s refusal to memorize meaningless rules: “Marissa. I know that you know how to play the game, but you have to pass the bar to get into a position to play the game.” Why does this line make me love Lucca? This line isn’t even anything amazing. It’s just a line that cuts through the bullshit and makes a good point.  

Marissa keeps going, insulting all of her peers and teachers, and Lucca figures out how to cut through that, too: she tells Marissa that she’d hire her as a lawyer if she killed someone, but only if Marissa passes the bar. Marissa is instantly intrigued.  

“Why are you leaving here? I’ll miss you,” Marissa says.  

“Because they won’t pay me what I deserve,” Lucca says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, I thought they fired you.”  

“But they didn’t mean it. It’s like the smoothie place—they kept trying to fire me and I just kept showing up,” Marissa replies. That checks out. (Love the callback!)  

Lucca tries to get Marissa to come over to England. Marissa shuts that down as Lucca gets a news alert—and it’s not good news.  

Our next date is September 18th, 2020 and I will get my nitpicks out of the way up front! I don’t really know why it is daytime for Lucca when she reads the news, considering it was already the evening in the States when the RBG news broke. And, also, it was Rosh Hashanah, so Marissa probably would not have been sitting in her bedroom studying... she most likely would’ve been with family or friends. OK I’M DONE. FOR NOW.  

Diane is getting ready for her arguments in front of the Supreme Court. It’s almost time! She’s in casual clothes but has on a wonderful mask. She’s standing in front of Kurt’s guns to make a point (love that she’s using her video call background to her advantage) and there are several people in her bedroom getting the tech all set up. I have noted before that they only built one set for Diane’s apartment, and it’s just a massive bedroom. Diane choosing to be in front of the guns does a nice job of cutting off my question about why she’d be arguing in front of the Supreme Court from her bedroom rather than the home office she absolutely would have.  

Kurt walks in and tries to shake hands... he’s clearly not very COVID paranoid, and Diane seems to be, and... that’s something I might have wanted to see? How was Diane okay with Kurt taking risks that also affected her?

Diane confirms she intentionally chose to stand in front of the guns. That’s when Kurt gets the push notification. He pulls Diane into the bathroom to show her the news. He hands her his phone and Diane’s face falls. She starts tearing up. “2020 just won’t let go,” she says, speaking for us all.

Normally I hate things that are like, we’re going to contrive this so the news hits at the worst possible moment! This works for me, because the Supreme Court plot for Diane feels more like something that exists to be a through line for the episode. It would also be a little hard to work in RBG’s death as a main plot point—and it is definitely important enough to be a main plotpoint—if it didn’t also affect something in the world of the show.  

Also, another reason I like this contrivance is that it makes it all the more powerful when Diane says, “It’s over. He gets to nominate someone. Another Kavanaugh! We’ll have a conservative court for the next 20 years. My whole fucking life!” She’s not thinking about how this affects her case (and that case is basically a life-long dream for her). She is thinking about way bigger things, and knowing that her mind goes to the bigger things before the personal with news like this really underlines how big of a deal RBG’s death was.  

Diane tells Kurt, “I don’t deserve you. You don’t agree with me.” “I can still feel bad for you,” he responds. He holds her while she cries.

Jay’s hallucination thing is back. Now Karl Marx is here. So is Jesus. I’m so done with this. It’s nice to get a break from writing.

Malcolm X is also on the roundtable and now they’re talking over each other in that way that everyone on this show always does. (RK gave an interview about Evil where he said he likes having the children on that show talk over each other because he grew up in a household like that. I did not need to read that interview to understand that RK likes scenes where people talk over each other.)  

If anything happened in those hallucinations, I missed it, because I didn’t pause the episode. Because I do not care about the hallucinations. Because I hate them.

Now it’s November 2020... Diane’s watching election results and rocking back and forth. She tells Kurt he can go watch Fox News in the other room (so they do have more than one room!). He says he’s fine—he thinks Diane needs it more.  

“Yes, but Kurt, if you stay, I know this isn’t sensible, but... Trump seems to get more votes whenever you’re sitting on this couch,” Diane tells him. Ha, I relate to this kind of superstition so hard. “Are you serious?” Kurt says. “I am so deathly serious,” Diane responds. “Whenever you’re sitting here, Arizona goes for Trump. Humor me, please. Just go in the other room.”  

When Kurt tries to kiss her, she pulls away: “No, no, no. No kiss. If you kiss me, we’ll lose Georgia.” This scene feels so, so real and perfectly captures what it was like (at least for me, though I don’t have a Republican husband or anything) watching election results come in.  

“Uh, if you lose, we’ll be fine, right?” Kurt asks. “Kurt, let me just say this. I’m only saying that we won’t be fine so that the universe will grant me a win,” Diane responds. This scene is so fun and so good! It simultaneously captures a relatable mood, adds some levity, gives us a window into Diane’s life, and shows some of the tensions in her marriage?! I want this all the time!  

Kurt leaves the room. Diane pours more wine.

Later, with Diane still rocking back and forth with anxiety (just you wait for the several more days this will drag on!), Kurt brings in the champagne. “That was for when Hillary won. I can only drink it if Biden wins,” Diane protests. Did I also refuse to drink any celebratory alcohol until things were absolutely certain? No comment.  

“It’s odd you progressives resisted religion. You seem to have a hundred religions to take its place,” Kurt says, speaking on behalf of the writers’ room. (This joke doesn’t get written if the writers don’t believe this and probably even see it in themselves.)  

“Go away, Trump. I mean Kurt,” she shoos him away. Have I mentioned yet I love this scene?  

“Love me even if you lose?” he jokes (though I do wonder if this isn’t that joking? I think it is, but he keeps saying it!) as Diane gestures at him to get out.  

I could do without the joke about Diane’s heart on the TV for a couple reasons. One, it goes on too long. Two, I was very worried something would actually happen to Diane. You’d think that would make the scene feel more tense, but it does not, because it takes me out of the moment.

“Ok, God. You know I don’t believe in you. But I will believe in you if Joe Biden wins. I’m sorry. I know that that’s not what Jesus taught. There’s nothing in the New Testament that says, ‘Believe in me, and I’ll make sure your candidate wins,’ but I need Joe Biden to win. I’m sorry, God, but I just do. I need some faith.” This is a little much but... yeah. Also, is this the first time Diane’s flat out said she’s an atheist? I think it is, though I’ve assumed as much for quite a while.  

The next day in court, masks are no longer required if you’re a series regular and votes are still being counted. I remember those days. Marissa thought Diane was checking in on Jay... Diane was not. She was checking on vote counts.  

Apparently Jay’s finally being released from the hospital!

Bad news for Julius—the idiot judge finds him guilty of some nonsense charge and sentences him to seven years in prison.  

Diane says not to worry, and Julius asks “Why not?” Good point.

Then we have election results! We skip, specifically, to December 14th and the electoral college vote. I’m a little sad we skipped over the huge party that was November 7th, but I get why they’d rather keep things moving along. I think showing November 7th in an uncomplicated way would’ve just been too close to fanservice. But, man, what a day.  

Diane, in a red hoodie with leopard print that she somehow manages to still look classy in, is ready to pop champagne. Then she hears that on January 6th, a joint session of Congress will count the electoral votes and there might be a debate. “Nope. If I open it now, something bad will happen,” she reasons. “I’ve waited four years. I can wait another few weeks.”

It’s been almost a year and they’re still somehow negotiating with Lucca, but I understand why they’d space this out across the episode. Otherwise we’d have to say goodbye to Lucca in the first like, 15 mins of the episode and all those scenes would be in a row. I can forgive (and still nitpick) choices like this when the reasoning behind them seems sound.  

Adrian says they don’t want to lose Lucca. He, Liz, and Diane are all in the conference room, and they ask Lucca for a yes or no on their latest offer by the end of the call. Diane offers Lucca partner—she'll be the youngest partner in the firm’s history—and she’ll get a $500,000/year salary. Adrian tries to sell her on being part of American history by being part of the firm.

“We are a black firm, Lucca, and we need you,” Liz says with a lot of passion for someone who knows she might very well partner with Diane. Diane looks at Liz with a bit of suspicion at this, wondering if Liz is showing her cards.  

Lucca manages to make the wifi malfunction (or she gets very lucky) and uses the disconnection to call Bianca for a counteroffer, even though they said they needed a yes or no on the spot.  

“They used George Floyd because they want you for less. They have never appreciated you as much as I do. All those scars, all that time being taken for granted and undervalued has made you a fighter. It’s made you someone I now want,” Bianca tells Lucca. She gives Lucca a counter offer of $1.3 million and the title of CFO. Lucca takes it. Is there really another choice? (If she were concerned about loyalty to the firm and the partnership was what she wanted, she probably would've just taken it.)  

(Also, the partners can’t really act like Lucca is making history by being the youngest partner ever when they passed her over for partner two years earlier and offered it to Maia! To MAIA! Who had like three years of work experience! And yes I was fine with Alicia and Cary getting partnership offers with four years but, one, that was a scam, and two, Alicia and Cary actually worked. Oh, I see I still hate Maia with a passion. Back to THIS season...)

Lucca apologetically informs Marissa she’s leaving and the offer was just too good to turn down. I believe it. I also believe Lucca wants that job more. What has loyalty to RBL gotten her? She's someone so talented and good at her job that she just gets job offers from acquaintances all the time (starting with Alicia!). RBL appreciates her, but just enough to appease her while still undervaluing her. I don’t know that I would’ve believed a plot where Lucca actively job hunts, but I definitely believe this.

“Marissa, we don’t have to work together to be friends,” Lucca tells Marissa. I’m going to miss this so much. Why is this the best material Lucca’s gotten in ages?! I think one of the things that makes Lucca such a great character is that you can see why everyone instantly wants her on their team. She’s a fantastic friend (without giving too much of herself), she’s not a pushover, and she is incredibly sharp and able to get to the heart of any situation. I love her and I’m sad we won’t get to see more of her.  

(On that bit about friendship—I can’t write about Lucca’s departure without writing about the moment I realized just how great of a character Lucca was. It was in 7x13, when Alicia has her breakdown that’s seven seasons in the making... and Lucca supports her. But the writing, and Cush’s performance, never make it feel like Lucca exists to be a part of Alicia’s story. Lucca seems like her own fully formed person who happens to be supporting Alicia at this moment. I don’t think I can overstate how tough of a task it is to get me to care about the other person in a pivotal Alicia scene, especially when that other person was added to the cast in the final season and many suspected she’d just be a replacement for a different beloved character! Anyway, Lucca’s been great for years, and I’ll miss her.)  

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate the hallucinations more, we get a hint that they are going to continue: Jay sees one right after he learns that Marissa’s used her quarantine to start law school and he’s done nothing.  

Jay says he carries a gun now and it’s “performative.” I have no idea what that means and Marissa and Lucca don’t seem to, either.  

Another thing I like about Lucca’s final scene is that it isn’t rushed. We have time for all that, and also for Lucca to tell Marissa about the time she stole her breakfast sandwich, and for Marissa to react to it, and for Marissa to find Lucca’s Birkin bag, and for Lucca to tell Marissa to keep it, and for Marissa to react to that, and for Lucca to sappily say “think of me when you use it,” and for Marissa to nonsensically reply, “you think of me when I use it,” and there’s still a little bit more of the scene after that!  

Marissa’s silly line makes Lucca tear up. “God, I’m gonna miss you guys,” she says. “I’m gonna miss this. You make me smile. I didn’t smile much before you guys.” Awwwwwww. This is also so true to character! Her friendship with Alicia aside, Lucca’s definitely said before she’s not one to have friends (which is hilarious because she is, as I've said like 100 times, a fantastic friend and also just like, the coolest person??? Who wouldn’t want to be HER friend?!).  

She says she has to go because she’s getting too emotional and says goodbye. She’s also super sappy and when Marissa says, “you were the best,” she responds that they were the best TOGETHER! Awwwwwww.  

What a nice, fitting goodbye for Lucca. There’s no bad blood or fireworks—she just makes a change like a lot of people do. I’d like to think she’ll still be friends with Marissa and Jay after this. I don’t want too many Lucca references in future episodes, but I would really like it if we see Marissa and Jay update each other on the latest from Lucca, or if a scene begins with Marissa closing out an Instagram post from Lucca of her kid, or something. I wouldn’t want clues about what Lucca’s up to, but I’d love to see that she’s still a part of Marissa and Jay’s lives.

Now it is January 6th. Liz, Adrian, and Diane sit on the floor of the mostly empty office, watching TV coverage and drinking. It’s so relaxed it’s almost surreal, and it, like many other moments in this episode, feels like a slice of life. Everyone’s dressed casually and no one is worried about appearances or looking like the boss.  

“God, have you ever seen anything like it. It’s so fucked,” Diane says. Adrian’s more optimistic—the courts rejected most of the challenges to election results! “System worked,” he says. “Yay.” Liz says in response. She’s not as optimistic as he is.  

“Liz. Liz. Sometimes when things work out, there is no parade. There’s no congratulations, but I’ll tell you this: We live to fight another day,” he explains to her even though she makes a good point that a system just barely hanging on doesn’t bode well for the future. (She doesn’t say all this, but that’s a very loaded, “Yay.”)  

“Yeah? Then why are you leaving the law?” Liz asks. Diane seconds to the question.

Adrian announces he’s still retiring—and he’s moving to Atlanta. He wants to go to the south to help “create and consolidate political power.” He’s excited to start over and inspired by Georgia going blue. This is a very nice exit for Adrian. I fully believe that he’s interested in political organizing, that he’d be good at it, and that he’s ready for a change. I don’t think he’s always the most progressive person (of the three in this scene, Liz is absolutely the most progressive one, though Diane probably thinks she is!), but I absolutely think he thinks of himself as an activist and I believe that if he’s going to step away from the law, he’d do so to make a move like this.  

Adrian—and Lucca, but especially Adrian—probably both got better exits thanks to the events of 2020. If Adrian had just left to be groomed by the DNC, that would’ve been a predictable and boring ending for him. His candidacy would, obviously, go nowhere, and the whole thing felt weird from the minute it was introduced. But this? Adrian being energized—like so many others were—by the ways the world changed in 2020 and using his already announced departure from the firm and recent breakup as a chance to start over and make change? This is great!  

Adrian asks Liz and Diane what’s next for them. Liz says that she thinks the Biden admin will be better for black businesses. Adrian asks if they’re replacing him, and Diane says, “I think the big question is, are you replacing me?” She’s smart. I like how this scene goes from friendly to tense very fast, with everyone kind of testing the waters. Adrian tries to force the conversation, Liz opens with something vague yet pointed, and Diane speaks what’s previously been unspoken.

Liz says it’s not her intention to push Diane out. “I can’t change the color of my skin,” Diane replies. “I know,” Liz laughs. Audra’s delivery is fantastic on that line.  

“Hey, I’m gonna fight for my partnership,” Diane says. “I know,” Liz says. The tone of this scene is so different from previous partnership drama on these shows and I’m excited about it. This is just a bunch of adults talking about business decisions with each other and treating each other as equals?? It's not backstabbing?? Or drama?? No one is hiding things?? It’s refreshing and I hope this plot stays like this. We’ve done so much partnership drama that I think drama that stems from a real, pressing question that has no easy answers and isn’t anyone’s fault is going to be much more fruitful for the show.  

Adrian heads out—ah, I see now this scene is set in his empty office and this is why they are on the floor—and gets a nice last moment with Diane. And then they give him a last moment with Liz, which I knew they would but was still glad to see.  

Liz asks if he knows what he’s doing—he says he’s not sure.

Adrian asks if Liz knows where she stands regarding Diane. “It’s going to be interesting,” Liz says. I don’t think she’s decided what she’s going to do yet.

It wouldn’t be an Adrian and Liz scene if Adrian didn’t have some unsolicited advice. “Diane’s a terrific lawyer, but this firm belongs to you.  Your dad built it. He did, Liz. Despite all his faults. You got to run this place the way you want. This is a black firm. And after today, the world needs black firms. You got me?” He tells Liz. He makes it seem like Liz gets the choice and then tells her what to do. She says, “I got it,” signaling she understood him but not that she necessarily agrees.  

I cannot wait to see what Liz does next!!!!!!! About this but just in general!!!!! Without Adrian there giving her constant advice I feel like she can grow so much and the show will have to give her more to do!!! I think Adrian, for all his many wonderful qualities and all he brought to the show, can suck all the air out of a room with his charisma, and Liz usually ends up suffering as a result. She’s such a capable lawyer in her own right, but Adrian has a way of making it always seem like he’s right—even in arguments she wins. I’m excited to see Liz lead (or stumble at leadership; she is fairly new to management) without Adrian’s direct influence.  

Liz walks Adrian out and it’s cute. They run into Marissa and Jay. “Everybody fun is leaving,” Marissa notes. Liz is minorly offended, but playfully. Heh.

Adrian asks Jay how he’s doing; Jay says he’s a long-hauler but he’s doing okay. I like that they included that moment in Adrian’s goodbye sequence. It’s a very little thing, but it underlines that Adrian cares about Jay.  

Then Liz interrupts to note that Trump pardoned a lot of convicted and corrupt Republican officials....... including Julius.  

Everyone celebrates, but especially Diane and Marissa. Diane lets out her wonderful laugh and then we, finally, get to the credits. Because now that the previouslies are over, it’s time for the real show.

The credits are absolutely delightful, btw. I was a little worried some of the kittens would blow up, though! Once I relaxed and realized what they were up to—literal puppies and kittens because Biden won—I couldn’t get enough of these credits. They work so well because they accurately capture the way I (and all of these characters, except maybe Julius and Kurt) feel about the election results, but it’s so exaggerated that you know the kittens and puppies aren’t a realistic representation of our new reality. They’re just too good to be true, but you may as well enjoy them for a minute. I’m sure we’ll be back to exploding vases next week.

What a great episode! My timeline nitpicks and whatever they’re trying to do with Jay aside, I was blown away by how well the writers managed to move on from season 4, tie up loose ends, and write out two main characters. And they did it all while making me revisit the events of 2020, a year I don’t think many of us want to spend much time thinking about! This episode was enjoyable, fun, emotional, and clever. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the season, but I’m definitely excited about the show in a way I haven’t really been in quite some time.  

This season’s naming convention seems to be titles that end with ... and only have the first word capitalized. I want to see more. 

Season FIVE? There have already been as many TGF seasons as there were TGW seasons prior to Hitting the Fan?! Time flies. 

Please writers: No topical episodes this year-- no pee tape, no Melania divorce, no Epstein. None of that business. 

Sorry if I repeated myself here. I never proofread these things, and I wrote half of this on Saturday and half of it today (Wednesday) and the days in between were an absolute blur so I cannot remember if I said the same things about this episode twice. 

[clevercatchphrase]

2020 Year Review~

2020. Pretty unique year, don’t you think? It’s the first year since 2002 to have only two different digits in it. After 2022, this won’t happen again until 2111. Yep. Absolutely nothing more interesting than that.

Anyway! It’s time I reflect on my 2020, look back on my yearly goals and rant about things that happened to me this year. I made a post like this last year, where I went over my 2019 goals and talked about what I accomplished and what I didn’t, and it’s only fitting I do the same again this year. Read more under the cut for a random stream of consciousness ramble!

So, first things first, let’s look at my 2019 goals;

Finish paying off that last student loan

Put more stuff on my redbubble

Illustrate my own fan fics

Sew at least one stuffed animal

Make an enamel pin

Read one new book a month

Write one page a day/Complete at least one new fan fic

Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make

Finish fully scripting Ghost Switch

Boost my patreon

 Paying Off My Last Student Loan: Going down the list, I am proud to say that I FINALLY paid off all my student loans! (and not a moment too soon. The last payment I made was literally days before the first quarantine rolled out). It took me roughly 4 years on my part-time paycheck to pay off all my loans, and once I finished, I had no money to my name (literally; I had less than 1k as emergency money in case of car troubles or health issues). Heck, I’m STILL living at home as a save up for a place of my own. Finally paying off all my student loans DID activate my secret 2020 new year’s resolution, which was to adopt a cat! I did this too, literally a week later! She is the best thing that’s happened to me this entire year and I love her so much and she is the snuggliest cuddle bug I’ve ever met. I’m so happy she’s in my life now~

Put More Stuff On My Redbubble: ah ha ha ha… I thought I did this, but then I went and checked, and it turns out-! I did not. I made art I intended to go on my redbubble, but haven’t put there yet. They are all drawings of some OCs from a game I want to make, but because I haven’t progressed on making the game this year, I never got around to putting more stuff related to it on my redbubble. At the time of writing, there are 7 days left in December, so I guess I could go and put it up on my redbubble right now, but without context on where the characters are from, there wouldn’t be much point, now would there?

 Illustrate My Own Fan Fics: Another goal that I was so stoked to actually do… and then just didn’t. Gee, I wonder why I couldn’t find the energy or motivation to do it this year? Truly a conundrum. (Hey, you know what? If Ghost Switch counts as a fan fiction in a visual form, then I am doing GREAT on this goal. 2.5 years in, 1 of ~4 arcs done, and still going steady~)

 Sew At Least One Stuffed Animal: Okay, I have a valid excuse for not doing this one. I even knew which stuffed animal I wanted to make, and had the pattern drawn out and everything, but I had no money for materials because I had just paid off my student loans. And then, by the time I did have enough money again, quarantine was in full effect and I couldn’t go out to the fabric store. I’m still trying my best to stay out of public places even if the rules are laxer now, because I don’t want to catch the plague even if everyone in my goddamn city thinks and acts like the problem is over already. Even if they’re all wearing masks, even if they’re staying 6 feet apart, I still don’t want to risk it. I will stay inside until health experts give the all clear, and when that day comes, then I will buy some fleece and make a plush.

 Make An Enamel Pin: I ACTUALLY DID THIS ONE. TWICE! Halfway through quarantine, I was feeling anxious and depressed about my job and how they were planning to have me work with the public despite climbing infection rates and positive covid cases. I didn’t quit then, but in a desperate move to try and become self-sufficient, I went to madebycooper and made two enamel pins based on some butterfly dragons I drew last year. They’re on my etsy store now! I even went out of my way to open a P.O. box just to start a small business! I haven’t sold a single pin yet, and I’m actually really nervous to sell my first because I don’t trust the efficiency of the postal system thanks to the actions of the GOP that really screwed them over this year! (If you would like to see my enamel pins, click here!)

 Read One Book A Month: I did this! With dragon books I bought a couple years back! In fact, I read FOURTEEN dragon books, and still have more books for next year to read! The 14 books I read this year were:

 The Hive Queen

The Poison Jungle

Wings Of Fire Legends: Dragonslayer

Dealing With Dragons

Searching For Dragons

Calling on Dragons

Talking to Dragons

The Bronze Dragon Codex

The Brass Dragon Codex

The Black Dragon Codex

The Red Dragon Codex

The Silver Dragon Codex

Dragon Strike, and

Hatching Magic

 To be honest, I had read The Red Dragon Codex years ago when it first came out, but completely forgotten what it was about. I remembered liking it, and I knew the reading level was on the lower side, but the whole dragon codex series was pretty good! So far, the Silver dragon codex was my favorite, and black dragon codex was probably the worst! Hatching Magic was also really slow and bad and had plot points that went nowhere, but the book was written in the 80s, so I don’t know what I expected. The Dealing with Dragons series was very charming and great for the most part, save for one line in the last book that really rubbed me the wrong way, and all the Wings of Fire Books go above and beyond in this third arc. The second legends book could be a little tighter, though (sky and wren are the best duo and I want a book solely about them, but I honest to god do not care about leaf and ivy’s stories.)

 Write one Page of any story every day/ complete at least one fic: I… did this? Okay, I kinda cheated near the end of the year. I was keeping up the one page a day thing for the first four months, but then the world went to shit and my schedule and habits got disrupted and I fell off my good track record. I completed 7 out of roughly 12 one-shots I had planned for this year (my goal WAS supposed to be one short a month, but… you know how it happens) I kept trying to catch up on this goal all year, but the days kept piling up…. Until November hit. I managed to write over 250 pages for Nanowrimo, and I consider this goal a win. 365 pages of fiction in total, which averages out to about one a day~. SHUT UP IT COUNTS.

 Learn Python or C# for the game I want to make: Another goal I didn’t have the mental energy to commit to this year. Truly a mystery to where all our willpower went in 2020.

 Fully Finish Scripting Ghost Switch: still haven’t done this one yet! The Snowdin arc is completely planned, but I just haven’t gotten around to getting the other areas. I’m not worried, though. I know all the major plot points I gotta hit, it’s just weaving them together in a way that flows nice is the final task. I’m not too worried though. I don’t expect to finish the Snowdin arc for another year and a half, at the bare minimum.

 And my last goal of 2020, Boost My Patreon. I did this at the beginning of the year, but then very intentionally stopped about a third of the way through. It didn’t sit right with me to tell you guys to donate to me when suddenly EVERYONE was financially strained from layoffs or being furloughed. I told my patrons the same, and if you ever need to stop donating to me to take care of yourself first, then by all means, please do. I would feel much better knowing you’re using your money to see yourself fed and housed instead of given to me (where it is pretty much only used to buy gas for my car, honestly)

 Welp! That was all my goals for 2020! I achieved 4 out of 10 goals plus 1 secret goal! Pretty much the same ratio as last year, but now this time I can blame all my failures on the pandemic! I don’t feel so bad about myself anymore~

 ON TO 2021!

 I have 11 goals for the new year, again some rolled over from this list, and some from even older years. They are, in no particular order;

 Read 12 new books (roughly 1 book a month)

Finish the first draft of 2019’s Nanowrimo project and rewrite it

Script TDV

Finish Scripting Ghost Switch

Build A Comic Buffer

Sew 1 Stuffed Animal

Finish 1 Song Comic

Make another Enamel Pin

Finish 2 short original comics (this one counts as 2 goals)

Finish the 5 remaining one-shot fics

 Now to go into depth on each one, more for my own sake, really. I want to know exactly what I have planned for each goal this year, and sometimes just looking at a short list doesn’t capture all the smaller details.

 1)Read 12 new books. Same as last year! I The only difference is I might not be able to make it all dragon-related books. (I try my hardest not to buy from amazon anymore, but half-price-books doesn’t always have the obscure stuff I’m looking for)

 2)Finish 2019’s nanowrimo project. If you read my 2019 year reflection, you’ll notice I said I wanted to do some original writing. And I did! The story I wrote for nanowrimo back then was a story I’ve been toying with since 2017, but it was only last year I finally got pen to paper. Now, you may find it odd that the keyword says “finish”. You may think, “but isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for nanowrimo?” and to that I say, WRONG! I wrote 50k words for nanowrimo, but the draft was only about halfway complete. I was kinda discouraged about what I had written last year, because I didn’t like how it was coming out, but I did manage to get it half done. Now it’s time for me to bite the bullet and just finish the thing so I can finally revise it and make it into something I DO like. (It’s still gonna be hella long, tho. That’s what I get for trying to write an epic fantasy, I guess.)

 3)Script TDV. TDV is the abbreviation of the game I want to make. I… still need to do so much for this project OTL… In addition to getting the story solidified, I still need to draw art and game assets, and learn how to code for it, both of which are no small task. I keep having some sort of new year’s goal related to this on my list, and every year I just don’t hit this one. Will 2021 be different?

 4)Finish Scripting Ghost Switch. (Or at the very least, get the waterfall arc completely written out). I have a plan to break this down into simpler steps, by focusing on just one arc for a month or two. Every major arc has 2 to 3 parts, broken up by flashbacks, and if I can just finish one section a month, then I should have the entire thing scripted by the end of the year. It’s not a difficult pace, but seeing if I stick with it will be the real challenge, as it is will all my goals it seems.

 5)Build a Comic Buffer: I’m actually working on this one right now! Since I paid off my last loan and got a new job this year, my current Patreon goals are kind of out of date. They had all been centered around me paying off that last loan, and working towards full-time employment, but those are both completed now! So instead, I would love to get to a place where my patrons could read pages at least a week ahead, and to do that, I need to build a buffer. And since I’m working 5 full days a week now, I can’t afford to fall behind. But you can’t fall behind if you constantly stay ahead! I would like to have… a 10 to 12 page buffer. That’s roughly 3 months’ worth of pages to always have on hand in case I get swamped with work, or something. Right now I currently have a buffer of 3, which will cover me for half a January, which is better than not having anything at all, but still not the best. (ultimately, I would love to have a buffer so big, I could queue them up for the whole year. Wouldn’t that be something?)

 6) Sew one stuffed animal: same as last year. ASSUMING the plague gets under control in 2021, I don’t expect to get to this goal until the summer at the earliest.

 7)Finish 1 song comic: I have 7 song comics planned. One is a gift, one possibly for wandersong, one is a collab that’s currently in the works, but I’m waiting on a friend to do their part before I can continue mine, 2 are UT related, and 2 (well, technically 3, but one is the collab) are KH related. It’s one of the UT ones that will probably get finished, if I’m being honest. It’s completely story boarded, and now I just need to ink and color it. I would like to get it done for UT’s 6th birthday, since I made a song comic on the fly for the anniversary this year, and it was fun, and I’d like to do it again! So, look forward to that next september~

 8) Make another enamel pin: I have a dolphin design I’d like to make because dolphins are cute, if not little murder machines. (need to save up some expendable income first, tho. THESE THINGS AIN’T CHEAP TO MAKE.)

 9 and 10) start and finish 2 original short comics: I’ve got some comic ideas I want to do, but I need to get them written out first. I don’t think either would be too long. Each maybe a couple “episode’s” length, if envisioned on a website like webtoons or tapas. They’d both be heavy in allegory, but not overly drawn out (hopefully)

 11)And lastly, Finish the 5 remaining one-shots I had planned for this year but never got around to. I’m going to try to write one every other month. Pure self-indulgent shipping fluff. If I finish these 5, then maybe I’ll ask other people for more prompts and ideas, which I’ve never done before. We’ll see how it goes~

 Also, Like last year, I’d like to look at everything that’s happened to me this year, though to be honest, I’m not sure how much I remember/how accurate it’ll be. God, I don’t even remember what January was like. Who was I back then? Who were we all back then? I guess I’ll start my yearly retrospective in march because, heh, god we ALL know what started happening in march.

 Firstly, I paid off my last student loan! Then a week later on March 18th, I drove half an hour out of my city to adopt a cat and I love her and it was the best day of this year for me. Spring break is just beginning this weekend, but the attendance at the zoo is shockingly low this year. Apparently, a lot of people watch the news, and they’re all taking precautions about social distancing. I wasn’t too disappointed. Fewer people at the zoo, the easier my job is for me. I was looking forward to getting some free overtime on spring break, since I’m broke after paying off that loan, and I’m a cat parent now and have a furry child to feed. Monday rolls around. My manager calls me and tells me that the zoo is going into lockdown until further notice. I worry for the birds I take care of, but understand it’s for everyone’s safety.

 For two months I sleep in and watch way too much YouTube. I join a couple writing discords. I have nightmares about my birds escaping their enclosure and I dreamed one of the security guards I really like at the zoo gets covid and has to go to the ER. I woke up really upset.

 I started and finished BBS for the first time. I also replayed and finished KH2 final mix for the first time. It had been about 5 years since I last played KH2 before my PS2 died, and it was like coming home~ I also finished tearaway, and played and beat Ryme for a second time (which I can’t remember if I did that last year, but it was a fun experience regardless)

 Mid-June, and I’m allowed to start going back to work, be it on reduced hours. The zoo is still closed to the public, but I’m loving it! I get to work with full-time keepers and do full-time keeper things. It’s so much fun not having to deal with the public. August starts to creep up and there’s a rumor that the zoo will be opening to the public again, which I’m not stoked about. I don’t want to go back to standing in one exhibit all day, talking to guests who don’t listen to the rules or to me. 2 of my younger coworkers (who had both only been there a couple of months) get chosen for full-time positions, while I get passed up which really pisses me off. My other 2 coworkers quit when they think we might be reopening because they cannot risk catching the virus due to at-risk family. I am now the last keeper in the interactive bird exhibit.

 I keep working, the zoo slowly opens, but with me as the only interpreter in our interactive bird exhibit, we can’t open because I can’t run the entire exhibit by myself. So my exhibit stays closed. September comes and goes, and then October starts. Now there is more serious talk of opening my exhibit before the end of the year because the zoo expects to bring in larger crowds for the Christmas lights event in November/December. I ask if I get hazard pay or health insurance since I’m doing full-time hours until they hire more staff. They say no.

 I immediately start searching for a new job feeling incredibly indignant/hurt/slighted/insulted/used/abused/ALL the negative feelings at my job. I had been there for 4 years, but never got a chance to work full time, while the two newest hires who had only been there 2 months both got moved up. I can’t help but feel they were holding one mistake I made two years ago against me and never wanted to give me a chance. (that, or they knew I was reliable when it came to showing up for work in such a volatile position that sees a lot of new faces, and they didn’t want to bother going through the process of hiring someone new) I don’t want to risk my life working around guests who don’t wash their hands and don’t properly distance. I don’t want to gamble with my health when they won’t offer me health insurance because I’m part time.

 Mid October, I get an interview for a full time job and get hired on the spot. I peace out at the zoo 2 weeks later, literally 3 days before they planned to open my exhibit to the public. It was a close call for me to escape before they opened to the public (and pettiness was only partially the reason I dipped out so close to opening). Sorry new hires who are now in charge of the bird feeding exhibit. I taught you the best I could in the short time I had. If the managers are struggling with what to do with one less person, I can’t say I feel bad. I can only hope they delayed opening/closed you down again for your own safety. You are not lightbulbs. I really hope the higher ups stop considering you as replaceable as one. Will I go back to the zoo to visit? Probably. But not for a year at least.

 I started my new job the very next day after I quit the zoo, and have been there ever since, (which isn’t that long yet, tbh. Christmas day was my 2 month anniversary). It’s full time, but it’s also a small business, and everyone’s hours this year have been on the short side due to the plague. I understand, though. They don’t want us to work if they can’t afford to pay us. Everyone is nice enough, though some people smoke and it’s hard to avoid them with how frequently we have to go in and out, and I really don’t want to get lung cancer, sorry not sorry, please and thank you. Also, with such a small team, gossip is certainly harder to go undetected, so it’s a relief knowing people don’t talk behind one another’s backs.

 I participated and beat my 4th nanowrimo in a row, I made TWO apple crisps on thanksgiving, and made baklava on Christmas and both of these recipes were my first time making them, and they both came out adequately! I voted the first day of early voting, and I did an art trade/collab with two of my friends for my birthday! (normally we would have done monthly “art days” where we get together and do art projects for fun because we’re adults and we can spend our time together however we want, but the plague said otherwise this year) We drew pokemon and it was fun! (hopefully I can show you all the results soon. At the time of writing, I’m still waiting for the last two colored parts to get back to me)

 I reached 100 pages on my undertale comic, and finish the first arc out of…! (im not sure. It’s either going to be 4 or 5, I haven’t decided yet)

 Over all, I managed to stay healthy as far as I know. I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be this year, but then again, who was? (don’t answer that. I don’t need that kind of comparison in my life right now)

 Will 2021be any better? Honestly? I don’t think so. Not right away, at least. Just because a new year is about to start does not mean the slate is completely wiped clean. The change of the calendar year doesn’t magically make all our current problems disappear. Covid will still be here and cases will still climb when January starts. Small business will still be strained when the month rolls over, police will still go on murdering innocent civilians and getting away scot free, amazon and disney will still be monopolizing all consumer goods and media, and I can’t help but feel like there’s an impending shit show about to go down on inauguration day. I do hope things will get better, though. It’ll be arduous and unpleasant, but I do hope things will improve, because sometimes hoping is all you can do.

 Good night.

[hitodama89]

I've had a quite an action-filled week, but in like... The most boring adult-way possible. I still wanna write about it because hey, I am a boring adult after all.

Most of my time has been spent working with my balcony. I've been cleaning it thoroughtly because despite having closeable windows it gathers a ton of this certain sort of nasty "city dust" in it (more on that later). The first incidence that stressed me to hell and back was when I was washing its floor and suddenly the neighbor who lives below me starts yelling that water is leaking to their balcony. I tried to ask several times where exactly was it coming from so I could actually do something about it, but instead of giving any sort of helpful answer they just kept mumbling about their annoyance as loud as I think is possible to mumble. After I had finished the cleaning I went to their door with a package of cookies in order to apologise, but they didn't even open the door. Finally I ended up just writing them an apology letter because there wasn't really anything else I could've done. Fortunately that whole ordeal hasn't escalated any further since that.

After that it was time to try to fix the issue of the city dust. The thing is my balcony hasn't always had windows, they were installed a few years ago when the whole house got some remodeling done. Buuut the windows weren't exactly a perfect fit: between their frame and the balcony's handrail is this weird ~5-10 cm gap that has let anything from bugs, snow, rain and that dang dust in. So after suffering from it for several years I, uh, took the matter into my own hands and filled the gap with this... Sprayable, hardening foam thing, god knows what it's actually called even in Finnish let alone in English. After hardening it resembles styrox quite a lot? It should keep the forces of nature out quite well but it can also be dug out in case the landlord for some reason hates it and wants it gone. (The apartment complex is owned by the city I live in, not by some individual person, and usually they don't really care what you do as long as it is reverseable. I highly doubt they will ever even notice it, especially as I'm not planning to move out from here in the foreseeable future. And if they do notice it and hate it, they'd either ask me to take it off and/or give me a fine of some sort, which, okay, I can live with that risk.)

So I spray the foam which is again scary and weird and stressful, but I get it done. And then I take the next day to tidy it up, scraping it off from surfaces it doesn't belong to. At this point I'm tired and exhausted more than in a good long while, but I'm far from being finished! So what the heck even is the point of all this: why am I doing it now exactly? Well, the first reason is that for the last week or so it has been abnormally warm in Finland, temperature rising to heights that normally belong to June. The second reason stems directly from that: it reminded me of how much I've wanted to spend more time in my balcony during summers, but I've just had really no comfortable furniture in it. And that reminded me of a purchase I already tried to make during last autumn, but I ran into SEVERAL online stores that claimed to have the product I was looking for in storage but when I had already paid for it, they sent me an email stating that they didn't actually have it for real and that they'd return my money.

Now that the season was more optimal, I decided to try again: I bought myself a sun sofa. I don't know if that's what it actually called in English because even in Finland stores sell it under various names, but basically it's this nest-like round sofa thing with a raisable canopy. It's meant to be kept outside so it should be perfectly fine to keep it in my balcony, especially now that the stupid gaps have been filled (which is the reason I did it). It costed A LOT of money, likely as much as the rest of my furniture combined, as the vast majority of them have been bought used or as the absolutely cheapest option available. But like... I've basically had a whole small room I have barely been using, so I figured turning it into actually comfortable space for me would be worth it.

Okay, so at this point I had cleaned up the balcony, fought with the neighbor, filled the gaps under the windows, tidied the filler foam and ordered the nest sofa. The sofa had already been sent but according to tracking it hadn't moved out of the capitol area yet, so I thought I'd have time to paint the foam to make it less noticeable before the sofa arrives. I was wrong - this morning a confused post delivery man called me that he can't find my house (I don't really know how because I heard the voice of a GPS on the background) so I went out to wave at him. He dumped the sofa out of his car, couldn't even bother to lift it into the staircase even thought it was raining outside, and left. And I was like okay let's do this, let's get this bad boy into the third floor where I live!

I couldn't fit it into the elevator. I tried, back and forth, for god knows how long. Finally my hands were so shaky and weak that I couldn't even lift the sofa anymore and I have literally no clue what I would've done if it wasn't for the fact that my parents live in the same city and I could scream for them to come and save me. (I don't exactly love doing that, but what else was I supposed to do?) So until they arrived I just sat there in my staircase, sweaty as a pig and faint from exhaustion, with a god damn sofa in the middle of it all. Finally they came and we managed to smash that problem child into the elevator and inside my apartment.

And then that fucking thing didn't fit through my balcony door. Oh believe me, I had measured everything meticulously and it should've fit through; I don't know if the packaging was different from the promised or what, but there was no way to get it in. But good thing I had plans B, C and even fucking D ready! They were, in that order:

Take apart this... Metallic rod thing that prevents the door from opening fully so it doesn't hit the wall behind it.

If that fails, take apart the hinges of the door and lift the whole door away.

If literally everything else fails, open the window that goes from my living room to balcony and lift the motherfucking sofa through the window.

At that point we couldn't even start from B because the door had some really fucking weird screwheads and I had no right sort of screwdriver for it. Thank the forces of the universe my father is the DIY man of all the DIY mans and has about every tool you can ever imagine, so we had to go get more tools from their place and try again. In the end plan B was enough and we didn't have to take apart half of the balcony, but we were both sweating bullets for the whole day even from imagining having to do it.

Now the sofa is in the balcony. The next time I have to move it from there is hopefully when the city remodels the whole house the next time, which will be in, idk, 30 years or something. At least I promised my (now 60 years old) father that at that point he doesn't have to come to move it anymore. ='D The ordeal is finally more or less over, unless the sofa was somehow damaged during all of this: I haven't yet taken it out of the wrappers because I want to keep it covered during the painting of the foam. (I did do some painting already after all this, so I should hopefully be able to strip it tomorrow and stash it to the already painted corner.)

Two bonus points that gave some extra spice to all of this: I also got my first Covid vaccine shot this week (I belong to one of the risk groups because of my health issues) so one of my arms was pretty hurt even before I had to start lifting the sofa around the apartment complex. Fortunately I the very least haven't had any other side effects*! And bonus point number two: that heat wave that hit Finland? It's gone by now. There is literal god damn snow on the ground again. =DDDDD

*(EDIT: NO WAIT, I just realized that I did likely get one other side effect! Please skip this if you feel icky about health subjects, but I do want to mention it in case it could be helpful for someone else. I thought it was just because of intense stress and quite a bit of exercise, but my body has produced some period blood even though it isn't a proper time for it. My body doesn't generally do that because of my hormonal medication, but these days getting weird new health-related symptoms mostly just makes me shrug and continue my life. BUT now I remembered reading that the vaccine has been affecting people's periods by making them more voluminous, so that's actually likely what's causing it??? That's interesting.)

[fullblackpinkalbumleak]

Full K-Pop Superstars BLACKPINK 'The Album' Leak Download

Download K Star Blackpink Group The Album tracks in mp3 (Leak). Hurry to download. Earlier in 2019, the quartet became the first K-pop group to hit 1 billion views on Youtube with their single "Kill This Love." They followed it up with a sizzling performance of the single at Coachella, making history again as the first K-pop girl group to do so.

Album Link:--> https://www.mp3lover.xyz/download-the-album-tracks/

Along with the weight of the epithet, thus, the title encompasses a vast journey that the quartet has covered in just a fraction of the time it takes established acts—four years to be precise. So, excuse the members of BLACKPINK for taking a couple seconds to reflect, please.

"It's very surprising to us," Jennie says at last. "Every day we try to acknowledge how grateful we are, but more than the pressure, we are ready to give them back as much as they [their fans, BLINKs] gave us. It just gives us more motivation to go further than we ever dreamed of."

If you’ve been acquainted with the BLACKPINK ethos, you will have seen this coming. For the better part of four years, the members of BLACKPINK have stood tall on the backs of the self-assured, self-aware messages in their music. Whatever the challenge, the BLACKPINK way is to always go up. Now, as they get ready to reacquaint themselves with the world with their first full-length release, The Album, the same determination abounds.

"We tried to put more colors into our music, say black and pink," says Lisa. "I wish each member has a stronger presence on the stage and explores more various genres. I hope people don’t know what to expect from us, except for something better than before. We want to be unpredictable."

Ahead of the release of The Album, GRAMMY.com sat down with BLACKPINK to discuss their career, achievements, motivations and future.

Play Video

BLACKPINK's Rapid Rise | For The Record

This is going to be your first full-length album after your debut, so the hype is very real. What was the mood when you heard it was happening?

Rosé: At the very start, when they said that we were going to [be releasing] our first album, we were very stoked, because we do know that our fans have been waiting for this moment for a very, very long time. We were very excited but also nervous at the same time because we do know that it is a big deal. It's the first time we were able to put all of our colors into something. We had mixed feelings, but overall it was very positive vibes, and we were very stoked to be able to finally release the full album.

The Album is coming after almost four years of your debut, which is a long time. Why do you think that this is the right moment for it?

Rosé: We had four years to kind of build our own colors as BLACKPINK. Throughout the four years, we got to explore different genres and really find out our exact, distinct colors. So, I feel like [in] this album, we were able to put our prepared music style and contribute with new music genres that we're still exploring recently. [That's why] I think now is the best time to come out, because any later would be too late and any earlier, we might have been in a rush. We definitely feel like, right now, we are fully ready to put out a full completed album.

How do you think this album represents the kind of artists you are? How does it represent your colors?

Jennie: I think we've said this before, but our new album is full of surprises. We like to believe that it's something no one has tried before. We just want to bring something new. The album is cool, you know, and we tried to put together all the colors of BLACKPINK that we've built before into one.

You started this year with some amazing collaborations. What do you look for while working with other artists? Where is that middle ground between your style and their style?

Jennie: Since there are already four of us, we're very adjusted to working with people, so somebody new is always welcome. They bring a new perspective to the group, and it's an amazing experience. It's like stepping outside of our usual boundaries and into a world that we haven’t been to. To create something new with a great artist, like Lady Gaga and Dua [Lipa] and much more to come, it's just a great chance for us as artists and groups.

How was working on The Album different to working on your previous EPs? The Album is more cohesive, it's longer; there are more songs, more opportunities. What was that like?

Rosé: Definitely, because it's not like separate projects that we were working on. In the past, when we were working on individual projects, it was mainly all about that "one" song or that "one" concept that we were coming out with. But, because this was an album, we really had to think about the flow and the meaning behind this. I feel like this time around, we do have personal songs in there, something that tells our story, something that is fun.

And since our name is BLACKPINK, we represent the diversity in our personalities as individuals and as artists. So, we feel like we really had to put that forward and address that as well as we could.

You told me how the album went from concept to final form and how you showed your colors; are there any parts of the production process that you paid special attention to?

Rosé: I feel like we stayed in the studio for a while. We didn't want to just have a bunch of tracks and songs written for us and for us just go and record. We did spend a lot of time in the studio trying to find what we really wanted to sing about, what kind of music we wanted to put out. It took us a while to get together a list of good songs so we could get into recording mode. That's the really big process: just hanging out in the studio and making sure we have fun there so we can be honest.

Let's talk a little bit about your recent achievements. You've broken records that at one point a lot of people thought were unachievable, especially for Asian artists. You performed at Coachella, you’re the most followed K-pop act on YouTube, "How You Like That" broke so many records right after its release. In context of all that, the pressure of being BLACKPINK must be so intense.

Jennie: It's very surprising to us. All the records are the results of our fans, BLINKs, and their unconditional support. Every day we try to acknowledge how grateful we are, but more than the pressure, we are ready to give them back as much as they gave us. It just gives us more motivation to go further than we ever dreamed of.

There's always a line between the persona and the person, so how do you make sure that the expectations people have of you are realistic, that what is going on in your professional life is either a reflection of who you are or a separation from it?

Jisoo: We are grateful, as artists, as individuals, that people have such big expectations of us, and we are ready to take on the burden that comes with the expectations. We chose to do this: we try to send that message in our music, to show our confidence and the boldness to take on the challenge.

I feel like you’ve gone beyond the concept of a traditional girl group now. BLACKPINK is not just a name, it’s sort of become a force of nature where everybody knows who you are. With a position like that, there's always a danger of thinking: "I'm fine here. I'm good. This is comfortable." The position limits growth. How do you guys ensure that you always keep on reinventing?

Rosé: While we are very grateful for the amount of things that we have achieved and everything that follows this, we are just four girls who always really loved music and we just enjoyed performing. So [staying] creative is not too hard, because once we do one thing, we are always looking at the next thing, always dreaming of things that we have always wanted to do. But we definitely don't settle with what we have right now. We're all very greedy when it comes to. [Laughs.]

Jennie: We have each other to look and be inspired by. We let each other know what we're doing and where to head.

Lisa: We're like the same person.

Rosé: I think all of our members try to remind each other of how we're all just human. The hype, we try not to let it get to us. We don't really go: "Oh my god, we broke these many records or da di da..." We just look at each other and like…

Jisoo: We're just happy with how far we've come.

How do you think you've grown since your trainee days?

Rosé: We definitely have become a little more professional when it comes to this job, I guess? When we were trainees, we were only training for the music. This job is actually a job.

Jennie: There is much more stuff to care about than just music, but to carry ourselves as somebody to influence or [somebody to] look up to.

Lisa: We just enjoy every little step of it, and when we're off camera, we're pretty much like, still four girls.

Rosé: Teenage girls. [Laughs.]

Tell me how you're going to relax after the album comes out. Will there be a party, or a girls' night in?

Rosé: The crazy thing is right after our album releases, we're going to be promoting it and trying to get as much content out there for our fans. Definitely there will be a celebration at some point, but I still think we will be at working mode.

Jennie: But an excited working mode, since our fans have the album in their hand.

Lisa: [From the back] We're workaholics!

Rosé: And our biggest celebration is kind of like, staying at home in bed. Sleeping all day, so that's going to happen, hopefully.

A lot of your plans for promotion might have been thrown off course with COVID. How does this synergy with fans affect your performance? What are you expecting this time around?

Jisoo: Even though the opportunity for us to meet our fans in person has decreased, we're very grateful for social media at this point. I actually feel like since we do have social media we have more of a platform to connect with our fans on a bigger scale, so we're grateful for that at this point in time. We just hope to reach out to our fans and give them more hope through our music and content.

You guys are in a position where you are some of the people spearheading the modern K-pop expansion. Since your debut, we have seen K-pop grow so much. What kind of responsibility do you think you personally have towards its global expansion?

Rosé: It's amazing that K-pop is spreading around the world as a culture in itself. There are a lot of other K-pop artists out there who are trying to put out their music right now, and we are really grateful that we get to step in and be a part of that.

Jennie: Since we get such amazing opportunities and records because of the people that are interested in watching K-pop right now, we'd like to take the responsibility. We are fully committed to the work. We want to be proud when we look back on our history when we grow old.

[Rosé laughs.]

Jennie: We want to be proud of ourselves. I don't want to let ourselves down, so we put extra time, extra effort into every single thing we put out. I think that's why it takes a bit of time for us, but we really want to perfect the quality of the stuff we put out, so we can be represented to the world as a K-pop group.

Rosé: It's amazing how things are going. It's a big responsibility but a good responsibility that we have.

ease of their debut LP, 'BLACKPINK: The Album,' in October, revisit their swift ascension to the global superstars they are today

ANA MONROY YGLESIAS

GRAMMYS SEP 2, 2020 - 2:24 PM

Just two years before they'd have their big international breakout with 2018's "Ddu-Du Ddu-Du," BLACKPINK formed in Seoul, South Korea. The fiercely talented quartet has been serving up pop star realness with their infectious genre-meshing music, stellar choreography, arena-filling live shows and eye-catching music videos.

For the latest episode of GRAMMY.com's For The Record video series, we revisit the swift ascension of Lisa, Jennie, Rosé and Jisoo.

[sobdasha]

"I definitely updated my list of books I was reading on tumblr so it's all good" -me, a lying liar, right before spending several months finishing my reread of All The Discworld Books I Own But In Chronological Order For The First Time Ever Which In Fact Makes A Difference.

(and then I did it again after the libraries closed)

The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin Hm, so. I definitely read this. At some point. It was not really for me, not bad, but not really for me. This particular edition had various notes before and after the text, all of which I read, which made it an experience I got more out of. It's important for me to know that the author is aware that the protagonist is a raging misogynist who's stupid, and yes this was on purpose so you'd realize how really incredibly stupid he is and thus maybe be tricked into changing your mind yourself. It is a legit tactic, but one I tend not to enjoy, so if I hadn't been forewarned I'd have been UUUUGGGGGHHHH MAKE HIM SHUT UP ALREADY and probably rage-quit. As it was, I was able to better appreciate what Le Guin was doing here, even if this book didn't win a place in my heart and I probably won't reread. I definitely preferred Ancillary Justice's take, with the feminine pronouns. For my brain, masculine pronouns = they might as well all be men = business as usual = I didn't really get any gender queering from it. I can't really remember much else now. Oh, it was also part "survival in the wilderness" story, which they're big on making you read in school (which I find very suspicious), and which I tolerated and read a few classic ones on my own until they kept assigning these kinds of stories for us to read and now I get nothing from them and mindlessly hate them. Anyway, as I said, not bad at all but not really for me.

Lavinia, Ursula K. Le Guin This one's a reread--I picked it up from the library during college because we were doing Titus Andronicus in class and it didn't occur to me that there might be more than one Lavinia???? But hey it worked out because later in college we did the Aeneid and then I had Background for rereading Lavinia. This is the book that is lyrical and beautiful and pulls me in and makes me care deeply about the world and the characters. This is the book of Le Guin's that makes me feel the way everyone else feels about Earthsea and The Left Hand of Darkness and etc. I would like to find more of Le Guin's work that makes me feel the same way, because as I've said you can really tell from her other stuff that she's a solid writer who knows her stuff. I just…don't enjoy any of the other things. Anyway I recommend. I always forget about this book, and then when I reread I'm like "wow why don't I read this more often?????"

How Long 'Til Black Future Month?, N. K. Jemisin I liked every story in this short story collection. I should just reread it and try writing this up again tbh but also tbh I'll probably do the rereading and then just not write anything up again. Just read Jemisin's stuff I love her writing so much okay. ETA: that’s exactly what I did, I reread this during my covid rereads and said “I should do a proper write-up this time” and lo and behold where is it

Tehanu, Ursula K. Le Guin Okay, this last Earthsea book treated me much better than the others. It's probably not for everyone else, which might be why it's for me. It's much more domestic, much less "plot" happening, full of introspection, and centered on women rather than men. This novel acknowledges and confronts the rampant internalized misogyny in the previous three books, engages it in a way that the misandrist in me finds satisfying even though it never comes to a good solution for the problem. This book is more like a reflection. Earthsea has never been about "light is always good, dark is always bad; be a hero, fight evil" etc. But this one I think shifts the tone a little farther; it's less about balance, and more...I guess I'd put it as, "actions have consequences." It's not concerned with right or wrong, it's concerned with people getting hurt. It's pretty somber and serious, without any humor to balance it out, tons of bad things happen to people, lots of PTSD...but this time I really cared about the characters, and I feel like it was all handled really well? In addition to critiquing internalized misogyny, it also critiqued victim blaming. Seemed like it handled disability pretty well too--was honest about how people are jerks about it in reality, while still being optimistic and treating Therru as valuable; made occasional mentions of considering work-arounds for having only one fully-functional hand, while mostly just having Therru go about living and doing chores and being capable and assuming she did find those work-arounds without having to draw attention to it; and Therru's terrible scars didn't get magically healed at the end, the whole book makes a point all the way through that her physical scars will always be with her the same way her emotional scars will be, and she's simply learned how to go on living with them. Tehanu: a book full of trauma happening to people, where what would normally be the plot in a fantasy novel ended up not even getting started to be resolved, but Le Guin's writing and handling of the subject matter helped heal my jaded soul.

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee A quick summary of my experience: Chapter 1 - ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh what is going on what even Chapter 2 - no, no this is just, this is what sci fi is like, right? Just give it a few chapters and then by the end of the book everything will probably make sense. I'm sure that's how it works. Remember how even in Ancillary Justice I ended up with two separate Battles of Valskay, but now everything is fine??? It's. Fine. Chapter 4 - (ohhhhhhh I still don't know what's going on) Several Chapters Later - still no clue what's going on, but hit my stride with the terminology, my foreign language instinct kicked in where words stopped sounding weird and while I could not for the life of me define any terms for you, I had a vague comprehension of how the words operated In Context. Sort of. And by then I had, without realizing it, begun page-turning and binging, so I guess I liked the book lol! Another serious-but-not-funny one, but with an extra dose of War Memoir and all the gruesomeness that entails (but probably, like any good War Memoir, probably not actually gratuitous and actually in fact the necessary amount of gruesome). Jedao was turned into a woobie at the last minute and, well, damn, guy knows the way to my heart. The novel apparently gripped me enough that I don't even mind that it only came into play at the very end of the game. And hey, there's two more novels to deal with that revelation, which I have picked up from the library to read immediately! Yay! Current personal theory: based on the heavy math references that made me want to cry at the start, but the almost entire absence of actual numbers, and a reference to "there's no way actual physics works like that, it was obviously a calendrical effect" or something…I'm going to throw out a wild guess that the calendar stuff (and all the social structuring that goes with it) is so that they can break and reinvent math. So they can effect a universe where 2+2=5 and therefore a bunch of people standing in this exact position makes a force field or bullets of rose thorns or whatever and some other dude can make himself immortal. This sounded like a pretty terrible theory already and it sounds even worse now I've typed it up but oh well.

Raven Stratagems, Yoon Ha Lee Guess who didn't write this up back when she read it!!! Also, I returned Ninefox Gambit to the library right before the libraries shut down for covid. So, I had Raven and Revenant on hand for months but I didn't have Ninefox on hand to do an immediate reread to see if that made the sci fi make more sense. (It probably wouldn't have, but I would have liked to do a rereading while the ending was still fresh.) By this time there is a lesser degree of visceral viscera. Lee is brutal, however, about continuing to be honest about what war costs and whether war is worth that cost (which depends, really, on whose lives you think matter. Very relevant for these times. Very much prepared me to shut up and not whine about the inconveniences of protests and their fallout. There is no pretty and clean way to have a revolution, since it involves destroying a particular [terrible] way of life, so we're all just gonna have to sacrifice together). Also I think by this point all the character development from the first novel paid off in the form of character dynamics being hilarious now despite, y’know, the gruesome shadow of war.

Revenant Gun, Yoon Ha Lee Continues to discuss the honest price of war and the messiness of fallout. Shuos "The risks I took were calculated, but boy am I bad at math" Jedao. Oh I think this is also the one where every so often one of the characters thinks, "Okay so this person is a tyrannical murderous dictator but he is ensuring that there will never again be food shortages and no one in the space empire ever goes hungry." And then Lee turns around and is like, "Haha but don't forget this same person invented a form of vital infrastructural technology (and also immortality) that is optionally based off ritual human torture sacrifice. Like he didn't have to do that to make it work. He just decided to anyway. And that's always bad :) " (Also useful in our current climate of "Okay but we should consider the other person's circumstances and point of view" and also "Yeah but that doesn't apply if they're literally Nazis tho.")

Hexarchate Stories, Yoon Ha Lee A collection of short stories set in the universe of those three books. There's one story at the end that does satisfy the "But I wanted another sequel!!!" urge. And there's a bit of backstory for Jedao and Cheris. But by and large what you should be in the mood to read is flash fiction snippets that simply happen to be set in the same universe but have no bearing on the plot. Which is pretty cool and interesting if you are in the proper mindset! Even better, Lee includes author's notes at the end of each story to talk about the story, or the influences, or the context of his life at the time, etc etc. That is always my absolute favorite part of a short story collection. Also these notes told me everything I needed to know about why I liked certain things about his writing. "I wanted to write my own AUs," "If I get stuck I go on TV Tropes," "My only regret is that I had to cut the scene where Jedao goes to ~Halloween~ dressed as himself and trolls people" ahhhh that's also a regret I share.

Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee This one is YA! There is a lot less gore although I guess there was still genocide! Read this when you are in the mood for something that doesn't attempt to hide the fact that the plot is completely, conveniently contrived to give you fast-paced action and fun. Min sure has a lot of coincidental meetings that should stretch my disbelief but I don't care. Also, I am enjoying reading books with girls as protagonists that do what I'm tired of being told to love about boy protagonists--just keep barreling along with complete self-assurance that you are right and, if you run into trouble, you can egotistically figure your way out.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin Gods and mortal ruling family's messy soap opera sexcapades is not exactly my favorite genre, but luckily it is handled by Jemisin so it's all good. Lots of Souma Family Values. I'm really appreciating how Jemisin considers choice of narrator very carefully and uses it to brilliant effect in this trilogy. Stories are things told by a narrator to an audience; why should we rely on the artifice of an "impartial" "reliable" "omniscient" 3rd person narrator writing into the void? This trilogy was Jemisin's first, I believe, so it's a little awkward coming back to them now, only because Jemisin is such a powerful writer that the themes she's begun working with here have only gotten stronger with each successive work.

The Broken Kingdoms, N. K. Jemisin This one I rated as I read for Protagonist Is Blind based on the scale of a sighted person going "but some of my best friends are blind!" In that regard, I think the book does really well! Blindness doesn't define Oree's life and value; Oree doesn't get magical powers that make her a blind person who isn't really blind; Oree moves away from home and gets a job and lives on her own which seems very accurate to me based on my knowledge of one (1) person who is blind; instead of being ~cured~, Oree actually gets more blind at the end of the story and this is considered a Good Ending. Also personal bonus points are awarded for references to her stick being handy for hitting people with. Some stuff was stereotypical, but Jemisin's intent was not. A+, will read again, please support including way more characters who are blind in media. Anyway I enjoyed this one.

The Kingdom of Gods, N. K. Jemisin First off, Jemisin directly up front critiques the narration choices she made in the first two books and then pays it off like a boss at the end. Like holy crap. I admit by now I was getting a bit bored of the genre, but the book was still very engaging because Jemisin is a master. It may also have been affected by how much increasing pain I've been in lately.

The Awakened Kingdom, N. K. Jemisin I'm dead. This one was way more my speed and you need the other three books to understand this novella but ohhhh my god it's perfect. I read a lot of choice passages of this aloud to my roommate because how could you resist. It's still heavy but it's hilarious. Bless Shill.

[newstfionline]

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

UNICEF: Battered by pandemic, kids need mental health help (AP) Governments must pour more money and resources into preserving the mental well-being of children and adolescents, the U.N.’s child protection agency urged in a report Tuesday that sounded alarms about blows to mental health from the COVID-19 pandemic that hit poor and vulnerable children particularly hard. The United Nations Children’s Fund said its “State of the World’s Children” study is its most comprehensive look so far this century at the mental health of children and adolescents globally. The coronavirus crisis, forcing school closures that upended the lives of children and adolescents, has thrust the issue of their mental well-being to the fore. UNICEF said it may take years to fully measure the extent of the pandemic’s impact on young people’s mental health. Psychiatrists quickly saw signs of distress, with children and adolescents seeking help for suicidal thoughts, anxiety, eating disorders and other difficulties as lockdowns and switching to remote learning severed them from friends and routines and as COVID-19 killed parents and grandparents. “With nationwide lockdowns and pandemic-related movement restrictions, children have spent indelible years of their lives away from family, friends, classrooms, play—key elements of childhood itself,” said UNICEF’s executive director, Henrietta Fore. “The impact is significant, and it is just the tip of the iceberg.”

COVID vaccine mandate takes effect for NYC teachers, staff (AP) A COVID-19 vaccination requirement for teachers and other staff members took effect in New York City’s sprawling public school system Monday in a key test of the employee vaccination mandates now being rolled out across the country. Mayor Bill de Blasio said 95% of the city’s roughly 148,000 public school staffers had received at least one vaccine dose as of Monday morning, including 96% of teachers and 99% of principals. The mayor had warned that unvaccinated school employees would be placed on unpaid leave and not be allowed to work this week. The city planned to bring in substitutes where needed. Schools Chancellor Meisha Ross Porter said she did not know exactly how many employees had declined the shots and been put on leave.

California pipeline may have been hooked by ship’s anchor (AP) The pipeline that leaked tens of thousands of gallons of oil into the water off Southern California was split open and apparently dragged more than 100 feet along the ocean floor, possibly by a ship’s anchor, officials said Tuesday. The segment of the pipe that was dragged was three-quarters of a mile (1.2 kilometers) long, and the gash was over a foot (30 centimeters) wide, the Coast Guard said. Preliminary reports suggest the failure may have been “caused by an anchor that hooked the pipeline, causing a partial tear,” federal transportation investigators said. The break in the line occurred about 5 miles offshore at a depth of about 98 feet (30 meters) beneath the surface.

Just gone (NYT) They lie in clandestine graves strewn across the desert, mingled in communal pits, or hacked to pieces and scattered on desiccated hillsides. Buried without a name, often all that’s left once their bodies are gone are the empty casings of a person: a bloodied sweatshirt, a frilly top, a tattered dress. All over Mexico, mothers wander under the scorching sun, poking at the earth and hoping for a scrap that points toward their missing son or daughter. For most, the answers never come. Mexico is nearing a grim milestone: 100,000 disappeared people, according to Mexico’s National Search Commission, which keeps a record that goes back to 1964. In a country wracked by a drug war without end, death can feel pervasive. Murder rates climb inexorably, now topping 30,000 a year. But disappearance can be the cruelest blow. It deprives families of a body to mourn, of answers—even of the simple certainty, and the consolation, of death.

Afghanistan unraveling (Washington Post) Amman Nasir, 18, used to make steel safes in a workshop on contract with the U.S. Army. Now the American forces are gone, the workshop is locked and Nasir, along with all 15 other employees, is jobless. “Every family is facing the same crisis,” said Nasir, who had piled some blankets from home on a sidewalk, hoping someone would buy them. “People are not as afraid as they were when the Taliban first came. The problem now is our empty stomachs.” Across the Afghan capital, evidence of the country’s fast-unraveling economy is everywhere—from the angry crowds of unpaid government workers waiting outside banks that have run out of cash, to the tent camp of war-displaced families that has taken over the main city park, to the jumbled piles of household goods that have sprouted on corners and vacant lots. In a matter of weeks, several cascading events—the final withdrawal of U.S. troops, the mass surrender of Afghan forces, the collapse of the national government and takeover by Taliban militants, and a chaotic mass evacuation punctuated by a deadly airport bombing—have brought the Afghan economy to an abrupt and perilous standstill.

‘Everyone here hated the Americans’: Rural Afghans live with the Taliban and a painful U.S. legacy (Washington Post) The white flags flutter in the apple orchards of this serene hamlet ringed by oatmeal-colored mountains. They mark the precise spots where U.S. airstrikes killed Afghans. In the village center lies the destroyed shell of a building that once housed shops; down the road is a mangled, rusted car. There are white flags there, too. Together, they’re reminders of the legacy the United States has left in many rural areas across Afghanistan. “Everyone here hated the Americans,” said Zabiullah Haideri, 30. His shop was shattered by an airstrike in 2019 that killed 12 villagers. “They murdered civilians and committed atrocities.” In Kabul and other Afghan cities, the United States will be remembered for enabling two decades of progress in women’s rights, an independent media and other freedoms. But in the nation’s hinterlands, the main battlegrounds of America’s longest war, Afghans view the United States primarily through the prism of conflict, brutality and death. Here in Wardak province, the U.S. military, the CIA and the ruthless Afghan militias they armed and trained fought the Taliban for years. Trapped in the crossfire were villagers and farmers. Many became casualties of U.S. counterterrorism operations, drone strikes and gun battles.

China’s Taiwan Flights Stoke Tensions (Foreign Policy) China’s military planes have been busy over the last few days flying sorties into Taiwan’s air defense identification zone in a seemingly escalating pattern. On Friday, 38 planes flew into the area—a new record. On Saturday, 39 planes. And on Monday another record: 56 planes in a 24-hour period. Responding to a U.S. statement that the moves were both “provocative” and “destabilizing,” China’s foreign ministry accused the United States of creating its own tensions through its arms sales to Taiwan and by sending U.S. navy ships through the Taiwan strait. So what is China up to? To understand the scale what is going on the waters near Taiwan, the first thing to understand is that an air defense identification zone, or ADIZ, is not the same as national airspace. An ADIZ is like a buffer zone that extends beyond the 12 nautical mile extension from national borders that are considered sovereign air space under international law. Flying into an ADIZ isn’t provocative in and of itself, but the frequency with which China has been doing it has raised fears that the flights could be a prelude to an invasion of the island Beijing claims as its own territory.      “All that they’re doing is ratcheting up numbers. They’re not, in my view, doing anything that is fundamentally different from what they have been doing in the recent past,” Bonnie Glaser, a cross-strait relations expert at the German Marshall Fund told Foreign Policy. Glaser noted that outside of military training, the flights serve three purposes: they tire out Taiwan’s air force pilots who must constantly scramble to intercept, they demoralize the Taiwanese population while stoking nationalism at home, and they send a message of deterrence to the United States. “All of this diplomatic, military and economic coercion is really aimed at inducing this sense of psychological despair, among the [Taiwanese] people that China is just so powerful that they just give up,” Glaser said. “I think over time that is a goal that they seek to achieve—they would prefer to win without fighting.”

Australia won’t welcome international tourists until 2022 (AP) International tourists won’t be welcomed back to Australia until next year, with the return of skilled migrants and students given higher priority, the prime minister said on Tuesday. Last week Prime Minister Scott Morrison outlined plans to allow vaccinated citizens and permanent residents to fly overseas from November for the first time since an extraordinarily tough travel ban took effect in March last year. But Morrison on Tuesday said that after Australians, the next priority would be skilled migrants and international students entering Australia before tourists. Australian immigration has been at its lowest since World War II because of pandemic restrictions. The pandemic has also had a disastrous effect on Australian universities that rely heavily on fees paid by international students. The education sector fears that students will enroll in other countries unless Australia opens its border to them soon.

War crimes and crimes against humanity committed in Libya, U.N. finds (Washington Post) U.N. investigators say they have found evidence of crimes against humanity and war crimes perpetrated in Libya in recent years, including violence against civilians on the part of foreign mercenaries and human rights violations in prisons. “Our investigations have established that all parties to the conflicts, including third States, foreign fighters and mercenaries, have violated international humanitarian law, in particular the principles of proportionality and distinction, and some have also committed war crimes,” Mohamed Auajjar, chair of the fact-finding mission, said in a statement. The report found that the violence, including attacks on hospitals and schools, has dramatically affected economic, social and cultural rights in Libya. It also documented the recruitment and participation of children in hostilities, as well as the disappearance and extrajudicial killings of prominent women.      The report also said airstrikes have killed dozens of families, civilians have been maimed and killed by anti-personnel mines left by mercenaries in residential areas, and health-related facilities have been destroyed. In Libyan prisons, the mission said, detainees were tortured on a daily basis and deprived of family visits. Militias and the state used arbitrary detention in secret prisons and unbearable detention conditions against “anyone perceived to be a threat to their interests or views,” Tracy Robinson, another mission member, said in a statement. The violence is committed “on such a scale and with such a level of organization” that it may also amount to crimes against humanity, she said.

Facebook Outage (1440/AP) Facebook and its associated platforms, including Instagram, WhatsApp, and Messenger, suffered a widespread outage yesterday, affecting users worldwide and lasting six hours. The issues also extended to the company’s internal systems, with employees unable to access emails or open office doors with keycards. The outage was a headache for many casual users but far more serious for the millions of people worldwide who rely on the social media sites to run their businesses or communicate with relatives, fellow parents, teachers or neighbors. Around the world, the breakdown at WhatsApp left many at a loss. In Brazil, the messaging service is by far the most widely used app in the country, installed on 99% of smartphones, according to tech pollster Mobile Time. Hundreds of thousands of Haitians in their homeland and abroad fretted over the WhatsApp outage. Many of the country’s more than 11 million people depend it to alert one another about gang violence in particular neighborhoods or to talk to relatives in the U.S. about money transfers and other important matters. Haitian migrants traveling to the U.S. rely on it to find each other or share key information such as safe places to sleep. In rebel-held Syria, where the telecommunication infrastructure has been disrupted by war, residents and emergency workers rely mostly on internet communication. Naser AlMuhawish, a Turkey-based Syrian doctor who monitors coronavirus cases in rebel-held territory in Syria, said WhatsApp is the main communication method used with over 500 workers in the field.

Going Gray (E&E News) A new study from Arizona State University and the city of Phoenix found that painting their streets gray over the black asphalt has had a remarkable cooling effect, with sunrise temperatures dropping an average of 2.4 degrees and on average, overall road surface temperatures dropping 10.5- to 12-degree-Fahrenheit. Phoenix can see its road temperatures hit 180 degrees on a particularly hot day.

[scentedrunawayshark]

What Is a Health Insurance Deductible?

Some of the most potentially confusing questions around health coverage involve health insurance deductibles: what they are, how they work, why they exist, and how patients can find the best possible plans from a deductible standpoint. And while these questions all have reasonably simple answers, working out what kind of healthcare plan and deductible structure is best for any given person is depends very much on their specific situation.

The basic definition of a deductible is this: It’s an out-of-pocket cost that the insured needs to pay before their insurance takes effect. Once a deductible is paid, further costs are handled through coinsurance and co-pays. Below, we take a closer look at the basics of health insurance deductibles and what they can mean for your coverage.

Contents [hide]

Deductibles: Why Policies Have Them

Deductibles, Other Costs, and Healthcare Premiums

Finding the Right Health Insurance

Financial Stability for the Insurer

Protection From Moral Hazard

The Trade-Offs: High Premiums vs. Low Premiums

Deductibles: Why Policies Have Them

There are a couple of major reasons for health insurance plans to include deductibles.

Financial Stability for the Insurer

Insurance companies generally try to guard themselves against having to pay out for numerous small claims which might otherwise amount to a massive financial drain that leaves the company unable to fulfill responsibilities on all its policies. Setting aside a certain cushion of out-of-pocket costs for the insured in the form of a deductible ultimately reduces the possibility of major insurance payouts becoming catastrophic losses that destabilize the whole system.

This isn’t just an issue in health insurance. Home and auto insurance also commonly come with deductibles. In all these cases, the goal is to keep the insurer financially stable enough in the normal course of business that if a major catastrophe does come along — a large-scale natural disaster, for example, or a pandemic like COVID-19 — the insurer can operate and fulfill its role under the toughest conditions.

This has become a particularly important priority during the 21st century as expenses from natural disasters have grown radically. There have been two record-setting years for uninsured damage and insurer losses since 2010, a span of time that has included multiple severe wildfire seasons in California, severe storms in the American South and Midwest, and catastrophic Hurricanes like Harvey, Irma, and Maria. Overall, the 2017 record came to more than $330 billion, with more than $130 billion of that total paid out by insurers.

Protection From Moral Hazard

By its nature, insurance exists to safeguard the insured from risk. In structuring plans, this means that insurers also have to account for some uncomfortable possibilities, which together constitute a kind of contract risk known as a moral hazard. In brief, this term applies to situations where the insured:

When the insured is responsible for some portion of their plan’s costs, it mitigates, from the insurer’s viewpoint, the risk of a moral hazard.

Deductibles, Other Costs, and Healthcare Premiums

Deductibles are one part of the costs of healthcare plans incurred by the insured. The deductible is a basic threshold of expense beyond which the insurer must activate and pay its share (usually the majority) of covered services costs.

There are other costs involved in healthcare beyond the deductible:

is paid during a period in which both the insurer and insured join together to cover healthcare costs.

are a set fee for the insured for specific healthcare expenses. These apply regardless of whether the deductible has been paid first.

Overall, co-pays are paid on a per-incidence basis, while coinsurance and deductibles are covered in monthly premiums. Overall, these expenses are governed by an out-of-pocket maximum, which shelters policyholders from undue risk by capping the total amount they can be asked to pay for healthcare services. After the out-of-pocket maximum is reached, the insurer is fully responsible for covering the costs of care.

The Trade-Offs: High Premiums vs. Low Premiums

Some plans come with high monthly premiums, while others come with lower monthly costs. The best option will usually depend on the specifics of the insured’s situation and preferences.

The premise of these kinds of plans is usually that the policyholder is motivated to pay off their deductible and reach their out-of-pocket maximum as quickly as possible in order to start saving significant amounts of money in the long term. For those with sufficient financial means (and for those who know they are likely to need to access care regularly), this can be an attractive option.

These kinds of plans spread out higher deductibles over a longer period of time, making them easier to handle affordably on a month-to-month basis for clients without the financial means to pay considerable out-of-pocket costs in the short term. The bad news about low-premium plans is that they can ultimately wind up costing more in the long run. However, if the possibility of a long-term hit is worthwhile to achieve immediate coverage, or if you’re someone who reasonably expects to use their policy infrequently, this can be a worthwhile way to go.

Finding the Right Health Insurance

Health insurance deductibles raise just some of the many complicated questions that people can face in their quest for the best healthcare plan for their needs. It always pays to shop around, and especially to seek out the perspectives of experts in the field and powerful research resources through an insurance marketplace like TrueCoverage, which combines the choices of a marketplace with the functions of an insurance broker and personal advisor.

With excellent ratings from our clients and a solid track record of delivering results for people from all walks of life, TrueCoverage stands ready to help you in finding just the right plan for your budget and for your health.

[dipulb3]

Analysis: Tough jobs report scrambles Washington battle ahead of crucial week

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/analysis-tough-jobs-report-scrambles-washington-battle-ahead-of-crucial-week/

Analysis: Tough jobs report scrambles Washington battle ahead of crucial week

The data, showing 266,000 new positions were added in April, a quarter of the number analysts had expected, had the effect of convincing both Republican and Democratic lawmakers — who return to Washington this week — that their dueling economic and political positions are justified.

The report will further juice an already tense atmosphere in Washington as divisions are hardening after Biden’s first 100 days in office. The President will deliver remarks on the economy Monday, then host the four top leaders of the House and Senate for talks for the first time on Wednesday. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell will attend the meeting just days after saying 100% of his focus is on obstructing the new presidency. The White House is, meanwhile, readying a strong push for Biden’s infrastructure package. The plan’s billing as a massive jobs package will take on even more resonance given the invigorated debate about unemployment.

It’s always unwise to draw sweeping conclusions about any single employment report — especially as there are other statistical and anecdotal signs that the economy may be poised for a post-pandemic boom. But try telling that to Washington politicians who are on hair trigger alert for any development that might define the early months of a new administration.

The GOP pounced, as it seeks to build public mistrust of Biden’s economic policies, arguing that his strategy of spending trillions of dollars in big federal programs is already proving to be counterproductive.

The below-expectations report also offered the party an issue to unite around that did not involve the internal recriminations over an attempt by House Republicans to oust Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney from her leadership position over her refusal to buy ex-President Donald Trump’s lies about election fraud, which will take center stage with a conference vote likely this week.

Democrats seized on the same evidence that Republicans claim show Biden is damaging the economy to argue that the government must double down on efforts to help less well-off Americans still mired in the pandemic’s economic dislocation. That group has historically benefited less from previous recoveries than wealthier Americans and is the key constituency that the President is targeting in the broadest attempt to remake the economy in decades.

‘Headed in the right direction’

White House Covid-19 response coordinator Jeff Zients styled the report as a blip in a generally positive trend, following a bumper report in March that blew past expectations and showed that 916,000 jobs were created, although that has since been revised downward to 770,000.

“We’re headed in the right direction,” Zients told Jake Tapper on Appradab’s “State of the Union.”

South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn, the No. 3 House Democrat, hit back at claims by Republicans that unemployment benefits provided under Biden’s $1.9 trillion Covid relief plan were convincing many Americans not to go back to work — after a group of GOP governors announced they would block the extended federal help.

“I will tell you we may be talking about the big lie as it relates to the election, but very close to that is this notion that people don’t want to work. I have not met any of those people who don’t want to work,” Clyburn said on “State of the Union.”

Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo said on CBS’s “Face the Nation” that it was appropriate for governors in some regions to respond to their local jobs market. But she also criticized the rationale of the Republican argument that unemployment benefits were stopping people from going back to work.

“There’s nothing in the data which would suggest that that’s the reason people are out of work,” Raimondo said.

“We have to remember that, when the President moved to make this happen, this unemployment insurance has been a lifeline, a survival lifeline for so many Americans,” she added.

GOP governor says cutting unemployment benefits is ‘a good idea’

With Biden gearing up for a bipartisan push on the next phase of his economic agenda, Republicans seized on the disappointing numbers released Friday to claim that Biden’s big spending ways are already damaging the economy and that his plans to raise corporate taxes to pay for a broad infrastructure overhaul would crimp growth. They are also demanding the end of all social distancing measures even in areas where the pandemic is still raging.

“If Joe Biden had done nothing, the jobs report would be greater and more people would be in work today,” House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of California said on “Sunday Morning Futures” on Fox News.

Republicans, enjoying the luxury of being in the opposition, are making politically expedient arguments that fit their ideology. Before the jobs report, they were saying the economy was doing so well that further big-ticket government spending is unnecessary. Now they are arguing that extended federal unemployment benefits are stopping people from getting back to work. The group of GOP governors slashing the $300 weekly in extended unemployment benefits are trying to force people back to work in low-wage jobs.

Utah’s Republican Gov. Spencer Cox told Tapper that cutting those benefits was “a good idea.”

“The purpose of those funds were absolutely critical during the pandemic, as we struggled. Now we’re towards the end of the pandemic. And here in Utah, our unemployment is at 2.9%, the lowest in the nation,” Cox said.

“The biggest problem we have right now in the state of Utah are finding workers for the jobs that are available.”

A unique recovery

As the economy continues to open up, more vaccines go into arms, and the country is poised for a strong summer of travel, it’s possible that future Labor Department jobs reports will show significant improvements.

But Friday’s shock news also suggested there are unique circumstances at play in a post-pandemic economy that are not usually in the mix after a recession.

Given still genuine fears about public health and with the virus still at high levels, it would not be surprising if some workers in close to minimum wage positions feel safer continuing to draw unemployment benefits — even with more and more Americans taking advantage of vaccines. Sectors including the restaurant industry, which relies on intense, grueling and often poorly paid work, are having huge difficulties in attracting sufficient staff to operate fully.

While Republicans say that the answer is to cut benefits, Democrats, including in the Biden White House, stress that such conditions are exactly the reason why vulnerable industries, like the hospitality trade, need public support. Biden spent time last week, for instance, promoting a program specifically aimed at helping the restaurant trade through a still tricky period.

The new unemployment report could actually add some momentum to Biden’s warnings that an aggressive government effort is needed to ensure that the economy better caters to the needs of the less well off. Biden is asking Congress to spend tens of billions of dollars, for instance, on free childcare and home health care for sick and elderly Americans that can help their relatives, who currently look after them, back into the work force.

“The number one reason now that people aren’t going back to work is what you said, fear, or they can’t find childcare or schools are still closed,” Raimondo said on CBS on Sunday.

The jobs report was one of the few occasions in his first months in office where Biden has suffered setbacks with polls showing most Americans favor his management of the pandemic. Republicans have sought political advantage on another such issue — overly high numbers of undocumented child migrants flowing over the US border with Mexico.

It is unclear whether one single jobs report has the capacity to alter the delicate political dynamics the President faces. He may get some political insulation from the fact that 54% of Americans in the latest Appradab/SSRS poll see the state of the economy as good. That number is up significantly from 43% three months ago and far higher than it was under Trump in May 2020.

Still, the dynamics of power in Washington, with tiny Democratic majorities in the Senate and the House, mean that a prolonged slowdown in jobs growth could make tougher the President’s task of getting moderate Democrats like West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin to back his expansive agenda.

And the multi-trillion-dollar gamble that Biden is making could end up leaving him politically exposed unless the economy delivers in the run-up to the midterm elections next year, when the party out of the White House almost always gains seats following a change in administration.

A strong economy is one way Biden may be able to buck that trend, though it remains to be seen whether pocketbook issues even in a good environment will overcome the cultural arguments that Trump used to earn his bond with grassroots conservative voters.

[suckitsurveys]

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it? There are veggies in this pasta I’m eating. 

What was your last Facebook notification for? I don’t feel like looking. 

What bands have you seen live? A good handful.

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother: She was a drug and alcohol abuse counselor in the 80′s before I was born.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13? I don’t know. Maybe moving to the house that is still my dad’s to this day?

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore? Avocados.

What are your plans later today? After I get some sleep I’m supposed to go to my niece’s soccer game.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend? ^

Who do you talk to the most? Mark.

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old? Being a live.

Who is your best guy friend(s)? Mark and Randal.

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I’m okay.

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? Keep it.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? No.

Do you think your first love still loves you? Hah.

What is something that is “going right” in your life? I’m fully vaccinated and feeling amazing about that. 

When did you feel ready to start dating? I don’t know if I ever did? It just sort of, happened? I was never really interested in it in high school. I did have a long distance bf when I was 16 though haha. 

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s? My one kitty bites when I play rough with her. Not very hard though. 

Where were you the last time you made out? In the kitchen.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? When I got home from getting my covid shot the first time. 

How do you type your sad smileys? :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house? Nope.

What was the last soda you drank? Cherry Coke! It’s very unlike me to get anything but root beer when I’m out, but their machine was down at the hot dog place my dad and I went to this afternoon so I got a cherry coke instead.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? Mark is always making fun of me in little playful ways, so probably something silly and petty I did. 

Have you ever had any type of surgery? Yeah.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent? On the one had, yes, but on the other hand, it’s their fucking body. 

Who was the last person to hit on you? My husband.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to? Clean my house lol.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone? That my mom had died. I had to tell my cousin Kelly and I will never forget her reaction.

What do you put on hot dogs? Mustard, relish, onion, celery salt. 

Ever fallen in the shower? Yes.

Do you think that things will get better? They are looking up.

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life? Maybe?

What’s your favourite book genre? I don’t know. 

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre? No. Well wait, technically. We bought tickets to one movie, went in to that movie for a little bit, and then snuck in to see Jackass lol.

Do dogs like you? Sure.

Would you say that you project an air of authority? Ha, no.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? Yes. Not a very high one, but definitely high.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) Two.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes? Yes, I live near Lake Michigan. I’ve also seen Erie, and I think Huron as well?

Who do you know that had a baby recently? Yeah.

Do you like Usher’s songs? Sure.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark? January 2020.

Have you ever ridden a train? Yes, several times. 

What do you eat your French fries with? Depends on the fry. Some don’t need anything.

Do you have family problems? No family is perfect.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale? Hm. I don’t recall.

How do you like your grilled cheese? Cheesy and dipped in tomato soup.

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked? I don’t recall. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? Ride my bike and swing and swim.

Have you ever been close to drowning? Nah.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many times.

Do you like doing housework? Sometimes.

Would you ever get implants? If anything I’d get a reduction. 

Do you own a robe? No.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off? Depends on the pizza. 

What was the last song you listened to? Some song in a video Mark is watching. 

Have any of your family members been to jail? Yeah.

Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with? Whatever.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read? Yes, I was young. I would always ask what words were when my parents would read me stories and i was reading basic books by 4. 

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most? Probably my mom’s death.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled? Yes. Fun fact: I only grew three wisdom teeth. The other one just never showed up, lol.

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school? I think I wanted to be a vet. I don’t think I could handle that now.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into? SO many. I am so bad at watching new stuff. 

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military? I’d move to Canada.

What is your favorite Queen song? Basic, but Bohemian Rhapsody. I also like Don’t Stop Me Now, Under Pressure, and Killer Queen.

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? I’ve never had to.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you? Yeah.

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test? Yes.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do? Now.

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl? Anytime Mark and I get sushi lol.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once? I saw Clerks 2 twice. And I think True Grit? Maybe some others I am forgetting. 

What is the reason you’re still alive? My husband and my nieces.

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? Nope. 

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed? Not usually. I have though.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.) Oh yes. 

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it? Yes and yes.

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? I was mad at myself because I slept later than I wanted.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Of course.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with? Well yeah, it’s not something you just say in the romantic sense. I love my family and friends and tell them so.

Would you date someone with a physical disability? Yeah.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? They haven’t.

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it? Blue. That was in January 2020. I’m getting it dyed soon again. 

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid? My dad.

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income? I should start.

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits? I’ve Googled things that led me to Reddit, but I don’t go on there specifically.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little? Yes, a flower girl. My aunt let me pick out my own dress and I chose a long black velvet one and she was so sweet and I could tell she wasn’t thrilled but she wanted me to wear what I wanted so she let me wear it. I think I was about 9 or 10?

Are your parents in good health? My dad is. My mom, not so much, seeing as she’s deceased. Too dark? lol.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? I took care of my mom for a little bit when she first got out of the hospital. 

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason? I’m allergic to something called bactrim apparently? That is what I’ve been told my whole life.

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like? I just wear tshirts and undies to bed. 

Do you have any interesting pillow cases? I had a She-Re one but I gave it to my niece a few years ago. It was technically my sister’s anyway lol.

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be? My back.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Neither. Bees are more annoying when they buzz in your ear, but I’m not really afraid of them.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like? Yeah.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you? Native American.

[xthirteensummersx]

I need a safe space where I can express my emotions in writing about whats been going on in my head in regard to my current relationship. I have someone I can talk to at least but I feel like I think things through better in writing.

Honestly all the real problems started when we moved away from his hometown. I wanted to start our own life together somewhere away from the toxicity that is his hometown and at the time he felt the same so we made the plans I managed to find us a place by myself and secure myself a stable enough job that we could move out.

First he had trouble finding a job and that was fine and dandy but about 3 weeks in hes starting to get really down and depressed working there, so I did make the suggestion of looking somewhere else and leaving that job if he wanted as the job I had at the time was paying me more than enough to cover all our bills on my own. So he left that job and he goes a few months without finding a job still it definitely didn't feel like he was looking that hard but I have given him the benefit of the doubt because it was a very different job market there than what he was used to.

Then he decided he wanted to go to school, I've done the school thing, I've failed twice. I really wanted him to succeed where I didn't so I told him straight up that if he wanted to go to school I didn't want him working I wanted him to just be able to focus on the school no pressure and so thats what he did.

Couple more months pass and he gets into an online program despite my suggestions of on campus as a more focused experience but he was determined to do it online so I trusted him. Everyday I asked him how it was and how it was going asking if I could help, I covered all the bills and let him do his thing. All the while he's getting increasingly stressed out when I do see him working or he isn't working at all and just grinding his games. I figured whatever I've made it clear that I'm here if he needs me everytime I bug him he just snaps at me.

Until eventually he tells me he wants to drop out. I told him if thats what he wanted all I ask is that he looks for a job immediately he agrees. I didn't try to make him feel bad as like I said I've failed twice and wouldn't have wanted my loved ones to rub it in my face or nothing so I wouldn't do that. I firmly live by the treat others the way you want to be treated mentality at least until recently.

Anyways we were in that city for almost 2 years and he only worked those first 3 weeks and I covered everything that whole time always hoping he'd get a job in the next week. Then finally he gets an interview and things look promising until covid hit and it was downhill from there. They never called him back after the interview because they ended up going out of business a few months into quarantine.

So money got tight as my pay took quite a hit since my job at the time was not suited for quarantine conditions. We started fighting a lot until eventually he says he wants to move back to his hometown so we can start a family because he misses his.

At this point I considered it a pretty equal trade because there have been a lot of things that I have wanted out of my relationship but I had not recieved a single one of those things yet and although he had already promised this when we originally moved to Niagara Falls (His conditions in general was that we had to be making decent money and had our own place which we would have met the criteria in Niagara as soon as he had landed a job) but the promise of finally maybe getting to have a baby like I've always wanted was being dangled in front of me and that is well worth trading in a great job and a great place that was relatively inexpensive that we called our own. So we moved back to his hometown.

Now we are in the middle of quarantine when we do this, I use up all of my savings to move us there so that we can rent a room (with no door) at his sisters place until we can find a place to rent of our own or get enough to but a house whatever comes first, we only planned on staying a max of 6 months.

He was able to find a job almost immediately but for whatever reason I had a really hard time, and in the beginning he was pretty supportive of me insisting that I could use the break (although I could use it im not the type that feels safe unless I have stable income so I was frantically looking everyday) but it only took a couple weeks before he changed his tune asking why I didn't have as much money saved as I had when we were first got there (I have more expenses then him like OSAP payments from when I flunked out of college but to me that's besides the point I never harassed him about money when he wasn't working but now he was doing it to me and thats what bugged me) which caused more fighting between us, everytime I would tell him that something he did upset me he would just tell me that he isn't responsible for how I feel about things and that I'm just being emotional. Now I do have BPD so I am emotional and I am fully aware that I blow things out of proportion a lot of the time. But I'm pretty good at handling it like I can say "I don't like when you say/do *this* it make me feel like *this(usually some synonym for bad)* something I learned from taking DBT and CBT phrasing thats meant to prevent me from blowing up but when he responds with *I shouldn't have to filter myself* I tend to lose it because I was literally trained how to communicate and no matter how hard I tried it felt like he would not listen. Especially when it comes to me feeling like an equal in the relationship. Which leads us to the next thing that was something I wanted out of the relationship, I want us to have a car so I can go for my license again. Since I finally got a job at the other end of town I brought this up again seeing as in our new circumstances of living with his sister his promises of starting a family were out of the question so to me it was a compromise.

He wants to get a used car, I'm fine with a used car but I don't want to wait forever and I do like the assurance of longevity of a newer car. He agreed and had me start looking at used cars(he always makes me look at cars and places when we've looked at vehicles and places he refuses to help or do it himself) so I did, I would send him a couple options a day and he would find a problem with every single one. Then after the first day I ended up not having a ride home from work which happened to be in a snow storm where I found out that it is a 2 hour walk from my workplace to my home, I insisted he at least go and look at the pricing of some new cars and give it a chance because we could get into a vehicle much sooner. And he agreed and made an appointment.

This is kinda where the story climaxes, so when we first moved back to his hometown I still managed to keep a whopping 1500$ saved as my contribution to the car. And by the time the appointment came i had, had to dip into it a bit so I only had 1200$ but I knew I would have more by the end of the month to ad on top of my savings anyways so I wasn't worried about it.

Anyways so we are walking to the dealership its about a 1 hour walk away but he decided to book the appointment for 45 minutes after he was done work. So as soon as he got home we were out the door again. At the start of this walk I was so happy, ecstatic even, I was finally getting something I was finally feeling heard and I was finally feeling like an equal then he asked me as we were walking "How much do you have saved for the car?"

So the first thing I told him was that it was hard to say exactly as I still had a couple pays I would be getting and would have more by the end of the month but I have no idea how much is be getting paid so I wouldn't be able to say exactly what I would have saved.

He immediately gets angry with me saying that I should have MORE than $1500 saved even though I'd been without work until probably 3 weeks prior and still contributing to all the bills. And then asked me again specifically he said "How much do you have in your savings right now?" So I told him 1200 because in that moment thats exactly how much I had, and that was completely unacceptable. So I got on the defensive because I was doing my best here and him shaming me for it was not going to remedy the situation. Then he was upset that I was upset with him, it was unreasonable for me to be angry about him getting mad about my savings. So I finally asked how much he had saved and he said $1000. Which made me right ticked off because to me after all I did in the past 2 years with and for him, he was getting mad when he still didn't even have as much saved as me. Then it became a blame game and I escalated into me letting out a single scream, not at him, I get overwhelmed and I need to release that extra energy to calm myself down I had even walked away from him so I could do it, I had tried to walk away from the conversation before I had gotten that far but he refused to let me. Either way there was a moment of silence before he told me he was breaking up with me. On the side of a road, in the middle of an argument, on our way to pick up the one thing that I was finally supposed to be getting for myself, he decides to end it.

At this point it was literally like the whole world was collapsing around me all my emotions were on top volume and 8 could hardly breath or think. I called a friend to pick me up and I told them everything that had happened, they assured me that they believed I was in the right in this situation and maybe if I hadn't yelled and maybe if I didn't have BPD I would've believed that first but I felt I was equally to blame for what happened either way. Now because I'm living with him and we have no door and I didn't have any place else to go I had to go back to his sisters to go to bed, but I was anxious mess and didn't end up being able to sleep the whole night. And he slept next me totally fine and if I hadn't broken down the next morning we probably would've stayed broken up.

But I begged.

Like really fucking begged, I'm still ashamed of it, but I love him, I've been in love with him for 4 years now, he's the person I wanted to have kids with a life with, I didn't invest all this time to just let him go like I have with guys in the past. He's only the second person I ever slept with and the first guy was only one time and it was a very disappointing experience so there was and still is a lot of fear about even knowing if I could feel the same way about someone else the way I feel like him.

He gave me a condition, that I see a doctor and get my BPD and Anxiety under wraps with medication. And so in the hopes of maybe helping myself in the process I agree. Because I figure at the very least if I go on medication he can no longer use my extreme emotions as his defense.

I have been on this new medication for 3 weeks now, and knock-on-wood im feeling pretty good these days emotions wise. I don't quite feel like myself but its still early I think I'm just in the process of relearning who I am on a less emotional level. But there are things that are still bugging me about the relationship things I have brought up in the past and he's said he would try to do better with but has not.

Here's a short list of some of these things:

Using "You can't bring up the past to defend himself when I bring up points of behavior that prove that he has been doing certain things to me still despite me saying its unwelcome.

His "Rules" they themselves are not the problem they are definitely reasonable, my problem is that if I break any of the rules its an immediate guilt trip (more like a stern look and some huffing to be clear he doesn't hit me or nothing and he's only actually yelled AT me 2 times in our whole relationship but he's very good at making me feel like I've done something horrible when I havent) he however is allowed to break his rules as apparently they do not apply to him only me. I.e. I have to make my side of the bed if I so much as leave it to run to the washroom but he can leave his side unmade when he goes to work. None of my stuff is allowed on his side of the bed even when he's not home but everytime I come home from work I have to pick up his stuff that strewn across my side (I have lots more examples but ill leave it at that)

My money is constantly monitored but if I ask him how much he's got "its not important information right now".

I only get affection on his terms not my own. If I want a kiss I literally have to jump through hoops to get it whether I'm the one leaving for work or he is, its always just a joke to him he will barely even give me just a regular sweet kiss its always him trying to gross me out in the process.

I never get hugs like ever (literally I've had 1.5 in the 4 years we've been together)

Continuous empty promises, hes now getting what he wants and in a week or so we should have a used car but I'm not sure I want to be a part of that anymore but we'll see on that. We still aren't in a situation where we can have kids and despite his numerous times assuring me he wants out of his sisters place as much as I do when I recently asked about looking for a place he said "That won't be for awhile so its not important".

And the biggest issue I'm having is even with the new meds ever since the break up I now live in this endless fear that I could say one wrong thing and he'll just leave.

To be clear we've talked about a lot of these things recently again as the new meds have made it easier to be firm about what I want out of this relationship I even went as far as to ask him to at least go talk to a doctor himself and he told me "He doesn't believe meds work" which led me down a huge mental spiral but I'm working through it. Other than that he did say once again he was going to try harder but right now I feel like I'm performing a dangerous balancing act on the fence of my life.

I still love him and thats the biggest thing holding me together right now but there are a lot more things to take into consideration im thinking more and more about how I want my kids to grow up, and I can't help but wonder if he can make me, the person he loves, even if unintentionally feel as bad and worthless as he's made me feel before what if our child felt the same way. Or the fact he has very opposing views than me on gender and sexuality and what happens if he continues to believe what he does and we have a kid who's gender neutral or trans and he makes them feel unloved and unacceptable because they don't fit into his little box of what he wants.

I don't know what I want anymore.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I honestly don't know why I want it to work so bad. Maybe its because its been 4 years but for me despite my love for him and a great handful of some pretty pleasant times, I've been relatively unhappy.

I pray that the universe may help me on the right path because I'm having a hard time distinguishing it myself.

[ptsfreed]

Starting over

TW: mental abuse, physical abuse, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting

For years, I’ve kept a journal or blog.  I started when I was 5 when my mom bought me my first journal (it even had a lock and key).  As I got older, I transitioned to blogs.  I tried them all, Xanga, Tumblr, Blogspot.  Writing has always been cathartic for me, a way to process and heal.  I had gradually fallen out of the habit but I know that it’s time to start up again.  Last week, I actually made a booming return to paper/pencil journaling, but let’s get real--my hand hurts.  Typing is just so much faster.  Blogging it is.

I suppose I should start out with outlining my goals for what I’m planning to achieve with my return to writing.  I want to give myself the opportunity to slow down, process my emotions and experiences, and heal.  I like having the ability to have something physical to look back on, sort of like a barometer for intangible growth.  It’s hard to measure social-emotional learning otherwise.  

Here’s what I’m currently dealing with.  I’m 31, married, with two children.  I’m a full-time work-from-home-parent.  I am a moderate/severe special ed teacher for a virtual charter school.  My husband also works from home full-time in the entertainment industry, so it’s just us versus the kids all day.  My little ones are 3 and the other is just shy of one.  My husband and I became first-time homeowners right in the midst of the pandemic.  Then he was laid off.  For seven months.  We’re both educated with experience in our field.  Overnight, we went from a six-figure household to becoming eligible for food stamps.  This year, I marveled at how easily a job loss in a two-income household could turn that very same household eligible for welfare.

Depression ran high.  The booze flowed.  My PTSD symptoms went untreated as available therapy appointments became more scarce with the entire world enduring a collective trauma together. I watched my strong husband crumble.  I saw him cry and doubt himself for the first time ever.  I watched as a dark cloud seemed to envelop our household, ridden with fear for the future, uncertainty for the present.  We became expert budgeters.  We ate all the leftovers.  We helped each other to thrive with the most limited social interaction in our lives.  With the welcoming of our son, we compromised our social-distancing for family’s sake, with the promise that everyone in our pod would commit to limiting our social diets to strictly one-another.  It was hard...we love our families, but we dearly missed our friends.  Living two hours away from family in the first place, our local friends quickly became family.  But we adjusted.  Loneliness was preferable to falling ill to Covid--or worse, dying.  

At some point during the pandemic, my mom moved in with us after leaving her abusive 30-year relationship with my father.  Except, she never really left.  She maintained contact with him.  I knew it would be difficult for her.  I expected the separation to be hard, painful, and drawn-out.  What I didn’t expect was how severely living with my mom again after seven years would impact my mental health.  I could feel my anxiety levels rising.  My resentment steadily followed.  I didn’t want things to feel this way.  I was battling toddlerhood with a strong-willed, fiery, emotional kid with a penchant for hitting and also adjusting to life as a full-time working mom of two.  I felt the emotional toll of being there for everyone, compassion fatigue, though I hated to say it.  I felt like as a doting mother, good wife, caring teacher, and compassionate daughter I needed to do it.  But the toll it was taking on my body and mental health was unmistakable.  I cried, sometimes for no reason at all.  I snapped, I felt angry at small things.  My house looked like a tornado ran through it at all times.  Finding motivation to do things was like pulling teeth.  I gained weight, I hit the bottle almost nightly, though I typically limited myself to two drinks.  I told myself I deserved it.  Lots of people share a bottle every night with their significant other.  It’s not like it was impacting my ability to perform my job or care for my children.  Deep down, I still didn’t like it.  It felt like the only way to escape from the hell of quarantine and being broke.  I just wanted to see people.  Spend without immediately regretting it.  Yet here we were.

The year has been a challenge.  Ridden with strong toddler emotions and learning to navigate parenthood while actively trying to break the cycle of spanking and yelling to discipline.  I don’t always succeed and I hate myself each time I snap.  I run to my daughter, apologize and tell her that I was feeling overwhelmed, but that wasn’t okay.  It’s never okay to spank a bottom or yell because you want compliance.  If I can’t always be the perfect parent, then I can at least be one that is apologetic and not too proud to say sorry.  I want to teach accountability and remorse for one’s own actions.  At the very least, I can instill that.  That’s the silver lining of losing your cool, I guess.  But with these apologies and accepting accountability, it’s important that I also couple these sentiments with change.  It’s important that I do this in all aspects of my life, which is what I hope to achieve with writing.  I need to hold myself accountable and be able to look back at change.  I can do this.  I have done so much.  I have survived the pandemic.  I have created a family.  I have finished a bachelor’s and a master’s degree with little financial support.  I have paid my way out of debts.  I can do this.

1.  First and foremost, the reason I started writing again in the first place, I am done with binge drinking.  I feel pangs of doubt as I write this, afraid of my own capacity for caving to cravings and peer pressure.  As I experience those pangs, I can hear a silent voice in the back of my head telling me to push forward and cast that doubt aside.  I know I can do this.  Enough is enough.  My relationship with alcohol has never been healthy.  I began my drinking career in college surrounded by friends that made me feel home.  Drinking was fun, cool, part of the experience.  Pre-gaming was encourage and expected.  If pre-gaming meant you got drunk before the party, then the goal of the party was to get even more smashed.  I carried these habits into adulthood and still carry them with me today.  My last binge was Sunday and I’m not going to torment myself by recanting how bad it was yet again.  My goal isn’t to stop drinking entirely, just to have a healthier relationship with alcohol altogether.  Binging isn’t healthy.  The person I become when I drink isn’t healthy.  I can control this.  I can do this.

2.  I want to continue my journey into healthier eating and fitness habits.  As of today, this is the longest time I’ve ever seriously stuck with a weight loss goal.  I’ve lost 6 pounds since I began with mostly just-dieting.  The fitness part has been difficult to make time for, but I’m working on it.  I know that this goal is closely tied to goal #1.  If I can get in control of my diet, I can get in control of my drinking.  I am in charge.  I can take ownership of my health.  I can do this.

3.  I want to continue learning about my PTSD, my symptoms and how they have and continue to impact my life.  I want to continue learning about establishing healthy boundaries with people I love, my mom included, unfortunately.  I want to continue learning about narcissistic abuse, substance abuse, and how these factors have contributed to who I am as well as my entire family dynamic.  Growing up hispanic, it has been incredibly difficult to establish boundaries without being labeled as “too good”, “hateful” and “too angry”.  I have been told countless times by my own mother that I’m too angry and upset at my father who physically and mentally abused me and my entire family for as long as I can remember.  My dad has cheated on my mom and rejected me for over two decades.  I am sick and tired of being told to forgive my abuser because my boundaries make others feel uncomfortable.  What has been especially hard after actively working on myself for 3+ years is having my own family tell me that perhaps therapy isn’t suiting me because it’s made me “too angry” and that I’ve “lost my lust for life”.  They want to assume that my general sense of frustration is attributed to not talking to my dad, when in reality, freeing myself from that relationship has afforded me more peace than I ever could have fathomed.  Sure, there are difficult moments, but every time I think that maybe that relationship may be worth pursuing again, I am reminded of why I have established such rock-solid boundaries in the first place.  According to others though, this makes me too hateful.  Too angry.  “You’ve punished him enough”, they say.  As if this was ever about punishment and not about protecting myself and my children from narcissistic abuse in the first place.  They say this and accuse this anger of pouring into other aspects of my life, without ever once asking what’s really going on inside.  Not once has anybody asked how parenthood is going.  How I’m coping with the pandemic and the renewed sense of cautious freedom now that I am fully vaccinated and my husband is halfway vaccinated.  Not once has anybody thought to consider that maybe I’m not super woman, that I’m just human and that I too have moments of vulnerability that I irresponsibly cope with by binge drinking.  Instead, everybody says that the best course of action is to essentially “get over” my resentment and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder brought on by the decades-long abuse I suffered at the hands of my own father.  The same hands that banged my head against a wall, beat me within an inch of my life, and then sent me to work at a cosmetics counter without a stitch of makeup and completely battered and bruised.  According to the armchair therapists in my life, it’s my job to let go of these feelings and now trust this same meth-addicted man with my children.  I need to trust in his capacity for change and honesty after 20+ years of lying and gaslighting.  I don’t want my boundaries to cost me the most important relationships in my life.  But at this point, I can’t do it anymore.  I am exhausted with explaining myself, for demanding respect and begging to have my story heard and considered.  My mom will continue to choose my dad over me.  She feels compelled to be his friend and the peacekeeper, still, even after attending therapy and working on herself.  I know that my dad is at the center of this, stirring the pot and causing a rift in my relationship with my mother because having me out of the picture will bring the two of them closer.  “See, she turned her back on you too”, I can hear him saying.  This is the loneliest I have ever felt in my life.  I have been told that by my parents my entire life that I am essentially dispensable.  “I don’t fucking need you”, my dad would say.  My mom would “intervene” by asking me what I did to make him so upset, and perhaps I should just “find somewhere else to live” if this was how I was going to act.  I hate feeling this way.  It hasn’t gotten easier as a 31 year old woman, but I can say that I am now able to see the situation much more objectively and with clarity.  This is why it’s important to keep attending therapy, working on my drinking, practicing mindfulness, and living my life with intention.  Wellness really does come full circle.  I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this.

[scentedrunawayshark]

What Is a Health Insurance Deductible?

Some of the most potentially confusing questions around health coverage involve health insurance deductibles: what they are, how they work, why they exist, and how patients can find the best possible plans from a deductible standpoint. And while these questions all have reasonably simple answers, working out what kind of healthcare plan and deductible structure is best for any given person is depends very much on their specific situation.

The basic definition of a deductible is this: It’s an out-of-pocket cost that the insured needs to pay before their insurance takes effect. Once a deductible is paid, further costs are handled through coinsurance and co-pays. Below, we take a closer look at the basics of health insurance deductibles and what they can mean for your coverage.

Contents [hide]

Deductibles: Why Policies Have Them

Deductibles, Other Costs, and Healthcare Premiums

Finding the Right Health Insurance

Financial Stability for the Insurer

Protection From Moral Hazard

The Trade-Offs: High Premiums vs. Low Premiums

Deductibles: Why Policies Have Them

There are a couple of major reasons for health insurance plans to include deductibles.

Financial Stability for the Insurer

Insurance companies generally try to guard themselves against having to pay out for numerous small claims which might otherwise amount to a massive financial drain that leaves the company unable to fulfill responsibilities on all its policies. Setting aside a certain cushion of out-of-pocket costs for the insured in the form of a deductible ultimately reduces the possibility of major insurance payouts becoming catastrophic losses that destabilize the whole system.

This isn’t just an issue in health insurance. Home and auto insurance also commonly come with deductibles. In all these cases, the goal is to keep the insurer financially stable enough in the normal course of business that if a major catastrophe does come along — a large-scale natural disaster, for example, or a pandemic like COVID-19 — the insurer can operate and fulfill its role under the toughest conditions.

This has become a particularly important priority during the 21st century as expenses from natural disasters have grown radically. There have been two record-setting years for uninsured damage and insurer losses since 2010, a span of time that has included multiple severe wildfire seasons in California, severe storms in the American South and Midwest, and catastrophic Hurricanes like Harvey, Irma, and Maria. Overall, the 2017 record came to more than $330 billion, with more than $130 billion of that total paid out by insurers.

Protection From Moral Hazard

By its nature, insurance exists to safeguard the insured from risk. In structuring plans, this means that insurers also have to account for some uncomfortable possibilities, which together constitute a kind of contract risk known as a moral hazard. In brief, this term applies to situations where the insured:

When the insured is responsible for some portion of their plan’s costs, it mitigates, from the insurer’s viewpoint, the risk of a moral hazard.

Deductibles, Other Costs, and Healthcare Premiums

Deductibles are one part of the costs of healthcare plans incurred by the insured. The deductible is a basic threshold of expense beyond which the insurer must activate and pay its share (usually the majority) of covered services costs.

There are other costs involved in healthcare beyond the deductible:

is paid during a period in which both the insurer and insured join together to cover healthcare costs.

are a set fee for the insured for specific healthcare expenses. These apply regardless of whether the deductible has been paid first.

Overall, co-pays are paid on a per-incidence basis, while coinsurance and deductibles are covered in monthly premiums. Overall, these expenses are governed by an out-of-pocket maximum, which shelters policyholders from undue risk by capping the total amount they can be asked to pay for healthcare services. After the out-of-pocket maximum is reached, the insurer is fully responsible for covering the costs of care.

The Trade-Offs: High Premiums vs. Low Premiums

Some plans come with high monthly premiums, while others come with lower monthly costs. The best option will usually depend on the specifics of the insured’s situation and preferences.

The premise of these kinds of plans is usually that the policyholder is motivated to pay off their deductible and reach their out-of-pocket maximum as quickly as possible in order to start saving significant amounts of money in the long term. For those with sufficient financial means (and for those who know they are likely to need to access care regularly), this can be an attractive option.

These kinds of plans spread out higher deductibles over a longer period of time, making them easier to handle affordably on a month-to-month basis for clients without the financial means to pay considerable out-of-pocket costs in the short term. The bad news about low-premium plans is that they can ultimately wind up costing more in the long run. However, if the possibility of a long-term hit is worthwhile to achieve immediate coverage, or if you’re someone who reasonably expects to use their policy infrequently, this can be a worthwhile way to go.

Finding the Right Health Insurance

Health insurance deductibles raise just some of the many complicated questions that people can face in their quest for the best healthcare plan for their needs. It always pays to shop around, and especially to seek out the perspectives of experts in the field and powerful research resources through an insurance marketplace like TrueCoverage, which combines the choices of a marketplace with the functions of an insurance broker and personal advisor.

With excellent ratings from our clients and a solid track record of delivering results for people from all walks of life, TrueCoverage stands ready to help you in finding just the right plan for your budget and for your health.

[expatimes]

Kenya’s Lornah Kiplagat outruns COVID to keep training champions

Iten, Kenya – Runner Lornah Kiplagat was not going to let a lack of money or contacts, and especially distance, stand between her and the biggest race of her life – the 1994 Kenya Cross Country Championship.

Kiplagat, 20 years old at the time, travelled to the competition with a fellow athlete, and the two slept in a public bathroom while making the 350km journey from their home in Kabiemit in Nandi county to Kenya’s capital city, Nairobi.

“My friend and I looked for some boxes , locked the toilet from inside and covered the mouth of the toilet and slept on either side till morning,” she told Al Jazeera. “It was the safest place we could think of to sleep since we didn’t have money”.

By the eve of the race, held over brutal, open-air natural terrain, Kiplagat had not eaten in 24 hours.

Kiplagat’s branded line of athletic apparel, Lornah Sport, is the official kit of several sports teams in Kenya

She had easier options to make a living. Born in a remote Kenyan farming village, she had just earned a scholarship to study nursing in India. But she turned it down to chase her dream of being an athlete; a road less travelled, and especially for women from her Kalenjin community in the 90s.

“We were so scared, but to do that and succeed gave a statement of what we could be in the future,” said Kiplagat.

Her self-belief paid off – and keeps on paying.

Kiplagat, now 46 years old, is an athletics legend – a four-time world champion and former holder of multiple world records – and a business mogul.

Like many athletes, she has her own branded line of athletic apparel: Lornah Sport, the official kit of several sports teams in Kenya.

But she is also deeply enmeshed in the business of minting future champions, as the owner and co-founder of the world-famous High Altitude Training Centre (HATC).

Built 20 years ago, HATC has risen from a camp in a nondescript Kenyan village to a global force in athletics, with a stellar client list that includes top stars such as marathon legend Paula Radcliffe and four-time Olympic gold medalist Mo Farah.

Like all businesses though, HATC has been hit hard by COVID-19 restrictions.

HATC is based in Iten, Kenya, a small highland town in Kenya’s Great Rift Valley region, aptly named the ‘Home of Champions’ due to its abundance of stars who train and live there

‘Home of Champions’

HATC is based in Iten, a small highland town in Kenya’s Great Rift Valley region, aptly named the “Home of Champions” due to its abundance of stars who train and live there, such as 800m world record holder David Rudisha and four-time New York City Marathon winner Mary Keitany, amongst many others.

“I chose Iten because of the altitude,” said Kiplagat.

Located 2,400m above sea level and close to the equator, the town creates an almost “too good to be true” running atmosphere that naturally builds up the body’s ability to carry oxygen, said Kiplagat. It’s credited as one of the drivers of Kenya’s successful athletics history.

Primoz Kobe, a Slovenian long-distance athlete, has been coming to HATC for the last nine years. The 39-year-old, who has run in three of the five world marathon majors, first visited the camp to prepare for the 2012 London Olympics marathon.

“It’s a great environment since the weather in Europe is too cold and not appropriate for training plus the altitude here changes your body for the better,” Kobe told Al Jazeera. “The air is actually a quarter less than my city in Slovenia .”

Chasing his maiden success on the global stage, Kobe, who is in Iten preparing for the Tokyo Olympics, has spent an average of six weeks at HATC over the past nine years. He even managed to train there in 2020, before COVID-19 restrictions took effect.

But he doesn’t have as much company now as in years past.

Prior to the pandemic, there would be anywhere between 500 to 1,000 local and international athletes in Iten training in packs. Add to that an Olympic year, and the sleepy town would be buzzing this time of year.

“In normal times, this place would be full pre-Olympics … things are very different, people are in lockdown and can’t travel here,” said Kiplagat.

And that’s following an already difficult year. The Kenyan government suspended all sports in the country and ordered all training camps to close for the majority of 2020 to contain the spread of COVID-19.

Those who depend on the country’s athletics economy had to dig deep to hang on.

“Lots of athletes turned to menial activities such as casual construction work or subsistence farming to make ends meet,” HATC manager Richard Mukche told Al Jazeera.

HATC has had to tighten its belt.

“We cut back on a few luxuries in the camp to be able to support everyone,” says Kiplagat. “We did not lay off staff or slash salaries but we had to go into pocket to support them because they had nowhere to go.”

Iten, which is based in Elgeyo Marakwet county where the predominant economic activity is agriculture, has also suffered as sports tourism has fallen off.

While data on the sector is not specifically tracked, Elgeyo Marakwet hosted over 23,000 tourists annually prior to the pandemic. A significant percentage of them were attracted by the advantageous climatic conditions to train at camps such as HATC.

Boniface Tiren, Elgeyo Marakwet Athletics Kenya Secretary General, estimates that slightly over 1000 athletes visited the county annually pre-COVID-19, with HATC drawing roughly a third of them.

Located 2,400m above sea level and close to the equator, Iten, Kenya creates an almost ‘too good to be true’ running atmosphere that naturally builds up the body’s ability to carry oxygen, says Lorna Kiplagat

Nurturing women athletes, changing lives

HATC is the only sports training facility in the area with a 25m swimming pool, fully equipped gym, two saunas and the first and currently only professional tartan track in North Rift Kenya – part of the Lornah Kiplagat Sports Academy, which is named after its famous founder.

HATC also strives to be self-sufficient with its own farm and livestock supplying food, and solar panels generating a portion of the centre’s electricity.

But Kiplagat, who is also a Dutch citizen, didn’t just set out to build a world-class training facility 20 years ago. She was and continues to be driven by her mission to nurture women athletes in Kenya.

“People back home didn’t believe it when I first went abroad to compete and encouraged me to pave way for other girls,” the four-time world champion adds. “HATC came about as a result of helping young women in the community develop into athletes.”

HATC is the only sports training facility in the area with a 25m swimming pool, fully equipped gym, two saunas and the first and currently only professional tartan track in North Rift Kenya – part of the Lornah Kiplagat Sports Academy, which is named after its famous founder

Kiplagat has also inspired women athletes to follow her example and become entrepreneurs in their own right, including 5,000m Olympic bronze medalist Sylvia Kibet.

“Sports has really helped us come up, women are the breadwinners in their homes now, we see female world-record holders owning big buildings, houses and cars – but before we didn’t have that here,” the 36-year-old told Al Jazeera.

Kibet used prize money from her athletics career to build two fuel stations in Iten, and a 17-bed guest house.

Her businesses are part of a wider ecosystem that has developed around the HATC, including shops selling groceries and wares to tourists – important drivers of jobs in a county where the unemployment rate tops 50 percent and fewer than 20 percent of adult workers have a high school education or better.

“HATC has changed so many people’s lives, this has been a kickback to the community” Mukche reflects.

He speaks from experience. When he was 22 years old, Mukche met Kiplagat while the HATC was under construction, and became her pacemaker. He now works as the manager of both the centre and the Lornah Kiplagat Sports Academy.

Read full article: https://expatimes.com/?p=18826&feed_id=36525

[newstfionline]

Monday, February 22, 2021

Global vaccine inequality and intellectual property rights (Washington Post) As the coronavirus pandemic rages, World Trade Organization representatives have periodically gathered around a virtual table and clashed over how to more equitably increase global access to vaccines. On one side are the United States and other mainly wealthy Western democracies, where the major pharmaceutical companies developing key vaccines and related medical technologies are based. They want to maintain the status quo, in which the trade secrets of their vaccines—i.e. intellectual property—remain in their hands to preserve profits and the incentive for future development. On the other side are South Africa and India, leading the charge on behalf of the vast number of countries without any—or a limited supply of—vaccine doses and other equipment for fighting the virus. They argue that the rest of the world cannot keep waiting for the lifesaving shots, which Western countries have monopolized by buying up existing supplies and pre-purchasing future rounds. Given the gravity of the global public health crisis, the latter camp wants to resort to an emergency waiver mechanism, whereby the intellectual property rights for making vaccines and related medical supplies would be temporarily suspended, which would lead to production and distribution ramping up more equitably in factories worldwide.

The Boredom Economy (NYT) Mark Hawkins is an expert on being bored. When he was getting his counseling degree, he was fascinated by articles on the therapeutic benefits of boredom. He has written a book whose title is “The Power of Boredom.” In his spare time, he likes to sit on his couch and stare out the window. Yet during the pandemic, even Mr. Hawkins, 42, who lives in British Columbia with his wife, has at times gotten bored of being bored. There are many readily available ways to assess how the coronavirus pandemic has affected the economy. The pandemic has decimated the labor market, driving the unemployment rate to 6.3 percent in January, nearly twice what it was a year earlier. Restrictions on activities led Americans to spend less money, pushing the savings rate to extraordinary heights. As people have fled to places with more space and fewer people, home prices have surged. Another way the pandemic has had an impact on the economy is by making people bored. By limiting social engagements, leisure activities and travel, the pandemic has forced many people to live a more muted life, without the normal deviations from daily monotony. The result is a collective sense of ennui—one that is shaping what we do and what we buy, and even how productive we are. “Because we’re spending so much time in the home, we’re investing more in the home,” said Marshal Cohen, the chief retail analyst at the NPD Group, a market research company. “And the things that we’re investing in are things to keep ourselves busy.”

Parts fall from sky in plane scare (AP) David Delucia was settling back into his airplane seat and starting to relax on his way to a long-awaited vacation when a huge explosion and flash of light interrupted an in-flight announcement and put him in survival mode. The Boeing 777-200, headed from Denver to Honolulu on Saturday with 231 passengers and 10 crew aboard, suffered a catastrophic failure in its right engine and flames erupted under the wing as the plane began to lose altitude. As Delucia and his wife prepared for the worst, people in this Denver suburb reacted in horror as huge pieces of the engine casing and chunks of fiberglass rained down on a sports fields and on streets and lawns, just missing one home and crushing a truck. The explosion, visible from the ground, left a trail of black smoke in the sky, and tiny pieces of insulation filled the air like ash. The plane landed safely at Denver International Airport, and no one on board or on the ground was hurt, authorities said. But both those in the air and on the ground were deeply shaken.

Why a predictable cold snap crippled the Texas power grid (Reuters) As Texans cranked up their heaters early Monday to combat plunging temperatures, a record surge of electricity demand set off a disastrous chain reaction in the state’s power grid. Wind turbines in the state’s northern Panhandle locked up. Natural gas plants shut down when frozen pipes and components shut off fuel flow. A South Texas nuclear reactor went dark after a five-foot section of uninsulated pipe seized up. Power outages quickly spread statewide—leaving millions shivering in their homes for days, with deadly consequences. It could have been far worse: Before dawn on Monday, the state’s grid operator was “seconds and minutes” away from an uncontrolled blackout for its 26 million customers, its CEO has said. Such a collapse occurs when operators lose the ability to manage the crisis through rolling blackouts; in such cases, it can take weeks or months to fully restore power to customers. Monday was one of the state’s coldest days in more than a century—but the unprecedented power crisis was hardly unpredictable after Texas had experienced a similar, though less severe, disruption during a 2011 cold snap. Still, Texas power producers failed to adequately winter-proof their systems. And the state’s grid operator underestimated its need for reserve power capacity before the crisis, then moved too slowly to tell utilities to institute rolling blackouts to protect against a grid meltdown, energy analysts, traders and economists said. Texas is the only state in the continental United States with an independent and isolated grid. That allows the state to avoid federal regulation—but also severely limits its ability to draw emergency power from other grids.

Trump Ally Violated Libya Arms Embargo, U.N. Report Says (NYT) Erik Prince, the former head of the security contractor Blackwater Worldwide and a prominent supporter of former President Donald J. Trump, violated a United Nations arms embargo on Libya by sending weapons to a militia commander who was attempting to overthrow the internationally backed government, according to U.N. investigators. A confidential U.N. report obtained by The New York Times and delivered by investigators to the Security Council on Thursday reveals how Mr. Prince deployed a force of foreign mercenaries, armed with attack aircraft, gunboats and cyberwarfare capabilities, to eastern Libya at the height of a major battle in 2019. As part of the operation, which the report said cost $80 million, the mercenaries also planned to form a hit squad that could track down and kill selected Libyan commanders. Mr. Prince, a former Navy SEAL and the brother of Betsy DeVos, Mr. Trump’s education secretary, became a symbol of the excesses of privatized American military force when his Blackwater contractors killed 17 Iraqi civilians in 2007. In the past decade he has relaunched himself as an executive who strikes deals—sometimes for minerals, other times involving military force—in war-addled but resource-rich countries, mostly in Africa.

Violence flares as protests over jailing of Spanish rapper extend into fifth night (AP) Protesters threw bottles at police, set fire to containers and smashed up shops in Barcelona on Saturday in a fifth night of clashes after a rapper was jailed for glorifying terrorism and insulting royalty in his songs. The nine-month sentence of Pablo Hasel, known for his virulently anti-establishment raps, has sparked a debate over freedom of expression in Spain as well as protests which have at times turned violent. Protesters attacked shops on Barcelona’s most prestigious shopping street, Passeig de Gracia, while newspaper El Pais reported that others had smashed windows in the emblematic Palau de la Musica concert hall. Demonstrators hurled projectiles and flares at police, who fired foam bullets to disperse the crowd.

With heavy hearts, Italians mark year of COVID-19 outbreak (AP) With wreath-laying ceremonies, tree plantings and church services, Italians on Sunday marked one year since their country experienced its first known COVID-19 death. Towns in Italy’s north were the first to be hard-hit by the pandemic and put under lockdown, and residents paid tribute to the dead. Italy, with some 95,500 confirmed virus dead, has Europe’s second-highest pandemic toll after Britain. Experts say the virus also killed many others who were never tested. The number of new coronavirus infections has remained stubbornly high despite a raft of restrictions on travel between regions, and in some cases between towns. In addition, gyms, cinemas and theaters have been closed and restaurants and bars must shut early in the evening. Nationwide there’s a 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. curfew.

Protesting Indian farmers vow to amass more supporters outside capital Delhi (Reuters) More than 100,000 farmers and farm workers gathered in India’s northern Punjab state on Sunday in a show of strength against new farm laws, where union leaders called on supporters to amass outside the capital New Delhi on Feb. 27. Tens of thousands of Indian growers have already been camped outside Delhi for nearly three months, demanding the repeal of the three reform laws that they say will hurt them and benefit large corporations. Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s government, which introduced the laws last September, has offered to defer the laws but refused to abandon them. Both sides have met for several rounds of negotiations but failed to make any headway, and farmers’ unions have vowed to carry on the protests until the laws are rolled back.

North Korea’s economy is ravaged by sanctions and pandemic isolation (Washington Post) Kim Jong Un is angry, and he’s lashing out. North Korea’s last economic plan failed “tremendously,” he complained. And his inner circle lacked an “innovative viewpoint and clear tactics” in drawing up a new one, Kim told the ruling Workers’ Party last month, yelling and finger-pointing at frightened-looking delegates. His economy minister, appointed in January, has already been fired. It’s not altogether surprising. North Korea is suffering its worst slump in more than two decades, experts say. It’s a combination of international sanctions and especially a self-imposed blockade on international trade in attempts to keep the coronavirus pandemic out. A shortage of spare parts usually supplied from China has caused factories to close, including one of the country’s largest fertilizer plants, and crippled output from the country’s aging power plants, according to news reports. Electricity shortages, long a chronic problem, have become so acute, production has even halted at some coal mines and other mines, Kim himself admitted in mid-February. “Without imported materials, raw materials and components, many enterprises stopped, and people, accordingly, lost their jobs,” Alexander Matsegora, the Russian ambassador to North Korea, told the Interfax news agency.

Myanmar protesters gather, undeterred by worst day of violence (Reuters) Huge crowds marched in Myanmar on Sunday to denounce a Feb. 1 military coup in a show of defiance after the bloodiest episode of the campaign for democracy the previous day, when security forces fired on protesters, killing two. The military has been unable to quell the demonstrations and a civil disobedience campaign of strikes against the coup and the detention of elected leader Aung San Suu Kyi and others, even with a promise of new elections and stern warnings against dissent. Tens of thousands of people massed peacefully in the second city of Mandalay, where Saturday’s killings took place, witnesses said.

Israel to issue badges as proof of vaccination (AP) Israel unveiled a plan on Saturday to allow people who have been vaccinated against the coronavirus to attend cultural events, fly abroad and go to health clubs and restaurants. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu announced the plan at a news conference on Saturday night, saying those who have been vaccinated will be able to download the “green badge” in the coming days. Netanyahu said the government could not keep unvaccinated residents from places like medical clinics, pharmacies and supermarkets. But he said other services would be allowed only for those who have received two doses of a COVID-19 vaccine.

[orbemnews]

Analysis: Tough jobs report scrambles Washington battle ahead of crucial week The data, showing 266,000 new positions were added in April, a quarter of the number analysts had expected, had the effect of convincing both Republican and Democratic lawmakers — who return to Washington this week — that their dueling economic and political positions are justified. The report will further juice an already tense atmosphere in Washington as divisions are hardening after Biden’s first 100 days in office. The President will deliver remarks on the economy Monday, then host the four top leaders of the House and Senate for talks for the first time on Wednesday. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell will attend the meeting just days after saying 100% of his focus is on obstructing the new presidency. The White House is, meanwhile, readying a strong push for Biden’s infrastructure package. The plan’s billing as a massive jobs package will take on even more resonance given the invigorated debate about unemployment. It’s always unwise to draw sweeping conclusions about any single employment report — especially as there are other statistical and anecdotal signs that the economy may be poised for a post-pandemic boom. But try telling that to Washington politicians who are on hair trigger alert for any development that might define the early months of a new administration. The GOP pounced, as it seeks to build public mistrust of Biden’s economic policies, arguing that his strategy of spending trillions of dollars in big federal programs is already proving to be counterproductive. The below-expectations report also offered the party an issue to unite around that did not involve the internal recriminations over an attempt by House Republicans to oust Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney from her leadership position over her refusal to buy ex-President Donald Trump’s lies about election fraud, which will take center stage with a conference vote likely this week. Democrats seized on the same evidence that Republicans claim show Biden is damaging the economy to argue that the government must double down on efforts to help less well-off Americans still mired in the pandemic’s economic dislocation. That group has historically benefited less from previous recoveries than wealthier Americans and is the key constituency that the President is targeting in the broadest attempt to remake the economy in decades. ‘Headed in the right direction’ White House Covid-19 response coordinator Jeff Zients styled the report as a blip in a generally positive trend, following a bumper report in March that blew past expectations and showed that 916,000 jobs were created, although that has since been revised downward to 770,000. “We’re headed in the right direction,” Zients told Jake Tapper on CNN’s “State of the Union.” South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn, the No. 3 House Democrat, hit back at claims by Republicans that unemployment benefits provided under Biden’s $1.9 trillion Covid relief plan were convincing many Americans not to go back to work — after a group of GOP governors announced they would block the extended federal help. “I will tell you we may be talking about the big lie as it relates to the election, but very close to that is this notion that people don’t want to work. I have not met any of those people who don’t want to work,” Clyburn said on “State of the Union.” Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo said on CBS’s “Face the Nation” that it was appropriate for governors in some regions to respond to their local jobs market. But she also criticized the rationale of the Republican argument that unemployment benefits were stopping people from going back to work. “There’s nothing in the data which would suggest that that’s the reason people are out of work,” Raimondo said. “We have to remember that, when the President moved to make this happen, this unemployment insurance has been a lifeline, a survival lifeline for so many Americans,” she added. GOP governor says cutting unemployment benefits is ‘a good idea’ With Biden gearing up for a bipartisan push on the next phase of his economic agenda, Republicans seized on the disappointing numbers released Friday to claim that Biden’s big spending ways are already damaging the economy and that his plans to raise corporate taxes to pay for a broad infrastructure overhaul would crimp growth. They are also demanding the end of all social distancing measures even in areas where the pandemic is still raging. “If Joe Biden had done nothing, the jobs report would be greater and more people would be in work today,” House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of California said on “Sunday Morning Futures” on Fox News. Republicans, enjoying the luxury of being in the opposition, are making politically expedient arguments that fit their ideology. Before the jobs report, they were saying the economy was doing so well that further big-ticket government spending is unnecessary. Now they are arguing that extended federal unemployment benefits are stopping people from getting back to work. The group of GOP governors slashing the $300 weekly in extended unemployment benefits are trying to force people back to work in low-wage jobs. Utah’s Republican Gov. Spencer Cox told Tapper that cutting those benefits was “a good idea.” “The purpose of those funds were absolutely critical during the pandemic, as we struggled. Now we’re towards the end of the pandemic. And here in Utah, our unemployment is at 2.9%, the lowest in the nation,” Cox said. “The biggest problem we have right now in the state of Utah are finding workers for the jobs that are available.” A unique recovery As the economy continues to open up, more vaccines go into arms, and the country is poised for a strong summer of travel, it’s possible that future Labor Department jobs reports will show significant improvements. But Friday’s shock news also suggested there are unique circumstances at play in a post-pandemic economy that are not usually in the mix after a recession. Given still genuine fears about public health and with the virus still at high levels, it would not be surprising if some workers in close to minimum wage positions feel safer continuing to draw unemployment benefits — even with more and more Americans taking advantage of vaccines. Sectors including the restaurant industry, which relies on intense, grueling and often poorly paid work, are having huge difficulties in attracting sufficient staff to operate fully. While Republicans say that the answer is to cut benefits, Democrats, including in the Biden White House, stress that such conditions are exactly the reason why vulnerable industries, like the hospitality trade, need public support. Biden spent time last week, for instance, promoting a program specifically aimed at helping the restaurant trade through a still tricky period. The new unemployment report could actually add some momentum to Biden’s warnings that an aggressive government effort is needed to ensure that the economy better caters to the needs of the less well off. Biden is asking Congress to spend tens of billions of dollars, for instance, on free childcare and home health care for sick and elderly Americans that can help their relatives, who currently look after them, back into the work force. “The number one reason now that people aren’t going back to work is what you said, fear, or they can’t find childcare or schools are still closed,” Raimondo said on CBS on Sunday. The jobs report was one of the few occasions in his first months in office where Biden has suffered setbacks with polls showing most Americans favor his management of the pandemic. Republicans have sought political advantage on another such issue — overly high numbers of undocumented child migrants flowing over the US border with Mexico. It is unclear whether one single jobs report has the capacity to alter the delicate political dynamics the President faces. He may get some political insulation from the fact that 54% of Americans in the latest CNN/SSRS poll see the state of the economy as good. That number is up significantly from 43% three months ago and far higher than it was under Trump in May 2020. Still, the dynamics of power in Washington, with tiny Democratic majorities in the Senate and the House, mean that a prolonged slowdown in jobs growth could make tougher the President’s task of getting moderate Democrats like West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin to back his expansive agenda. And the multi-trillion-dollar gamble that Biden is making could end up leaving him politically exposed unless the economy delivers in the run-up to the midterm elections next year, when the party out of the White House almost always gains seats following a change in administration. A strong economy is one way Biden may be able to buck that trend, though it remains to be seen whether pocketbook issues even in a good environment will overcome the cultural arguments that Trump used to earn his bond with grassroots conservative voters. Source link Orbem News #Ahead #Analysis #Battle #Crucial #jobs #Politics #Report #Scrambles #tough #ToughjobsreportscramblesWashingtonbattleaheadofcrucialweek-CNNPolitics #Washington #Week