#seeking advice

[fanvoidkeith]

i'm kinda debating on whether or not to take testosterone. like, if i could afford it and convince doctors that i really do want to take it

since my body isn't... masculine, and i hate having my period because it makes me want to stop existing, and i don't like having boobs, and i have dysphoria about my voice being so high pitched (my voice is usually the reason that people misgender me), i probably would feel better if i went on t. but i also don't like change (autism & anxiety), and i'd rather have no genitalia at all than... uh, different genitalia. i'd rather have None Junk than Different Junk, but i don't think that's humanly possible, which sucks.

it makes me feel confused. plenty of transmasc people have gone on t- i know at least one person irl who is on t, and he's happy with the changes. but even though i don't really like my current body, i don't know if transitioning would make me happier.

i know it's my body and therefore my decision, but i'm really struggling to figure out if i would actually feel better about myself if i made the decision to go on testosterone. i feel happy when people gender me as a man (transmasc), but i also feel happy when people gender me as a person (nonbinary).

does anyone... have advice, on this? i just feel really lost right now about this stuff. and i don't know a lot of people who have transitioned/are transitioning, and asking people i know about their personal experiences with transitioning seems way too personal, because i don't know them very well and feel awkward about asking them things. and though several of my closer friends are also nonbinary, none of them have hormonally/physically transitioned, so i can't ask them about this stuff.

it's just something i think about a lot, in the back of my head, and i wonder if it's... the right decision, for me.

[luvrxbunny]

GUYS HOW DO TOU DATE PPL IRL?? LIKE HOW DO I MEET PEOPLE??? IM SO TIRED OF BEING SINGLE

FUCK

I DONT WANNA DATE ANY OF MY FRIENDS AND I DONT WANNA GO ON A DATING APP HELPPP

[fiasramblings]

seeking out advice from those more experienced with deity worship !!!!

I started questioning my identity as an atheist sometime last summer when I was getting more into Greek Mythology/Hellenistic Paganism and the gods who stuck out to me the most were Dionysus and Apollo. throughout the months I've been, of course, learning much more about—well, Dionysus specifically. I haven't been as interested in Apollo anymore as I was before. sometime in the past few months, I've decided I'm a pagan, and that I do want to work with the gods/goddesses. I've also been so very interested and lowkey obsessed with Dionysus and the Maenads. for about a week now, I seriously cannot stop thinking about him. it's bizarre to me as, as I mentioned before, I used to be an atheist (I was one my entire life). every day I just think about him when I wake up and when I go to sleep. I couldn't imagine it being anything else other than a sign to just set up an altar already, but I'm still unsure as I do not want to work with a god before I understand them and comprehend what they are capable of if that makes sense. I've been seeking out media about Dionysus and started reading The Bacchae a few days ago. should I start working with him once I've set up an altar—even if at first small—and once I'm sure I understand him to the best of my abilities? for whatever reason, I'm (maybe foolishly) intimidated by the idea of working with a deity.

[furiousgoldfish]

Started to realize that I can't think in certain directions, for instance, if I attempt to think about making a bank account or anything job-related, I will start getting intrusive images and thoughts beyond what I can handle, and my thinking process will stop. I knew I had this before, but hadn't realized how dire it was, or for how many things it was effective.

I'm worried that it's the effect of brainwashing, however I can't counter it, the images are always too violent and the stress and panic I experience is unmanageable. Did anyone manage to sort this out?

[staringamassivemistakeintheface]

My cousin’s kid (age 5-ish) is watching minecraft videos

What channels/videos to I point him to? What Mumbo and Grian videos are good for a kid with a short attention span?

[fan-dweeb]

Touya: How do you deal with the crushing pressure of everyone else’s expectations?

Keigo: By outrunning them.

Touya: But… what if I’m not fast enough?

Keigo: .. I don’t know.

Keigo: I don’t know.

[passive-poet]

Seeking advice from the autism community!!

Hi! I’m Ollie and I’m a high school student! I’m currently working on a research paper for my Science class, the topic being ‘the effects of growing up autistic and/or ADHD.’ I’m trying to find quality sources, but I’m having trouble navigating information about autism.

I have ADHD and feel somewhat confident about being able to discern misinformation, but I have little clue on what to avoid with autism. In my research I keep stumbling upon sites that encourage the idea of autism being “treatable” which, if I’m not mistaken, is a widely denounced ideology within the community.

Does anyone have some good resources to recommend, and/or suggestions on what sites I should avoid? (I already know about Autism Spe*ks being a shit program) I genuinely want the best possible information and representation because I’m so passionate about stopping the stigma.

Also if y’all could reblog this so it reaches the right audience that would be much appreciated!! Thanks so much :)))

[lazui-l]

Sorry this is kind of a weird desperate vent post but please tell me I��m not the only one who will just read a book/watch a show/play a game/witness whatever form of media and start hyperfixiating on it because of how enjoyable it was

and then you walk over to the creative workshop part of your brain and you sit down and go “I want to make a story just as good as the stories I’ve been hyperfixiating on. I want to make something that will effect the reader just like how (insert inspiration) affected me” so you start brainstorming a plot or a character or a setting

But then you just stop and look at your ideas and think to yourself “I’ll never be as great as (insert certain artist/author who’s inspired your work) I’ll never have the positive emotional impact on someone like they had on me” and you just start hating everything you make and get swallowed by this endless pit of “I’m never gonna make anything great enough” and that makes you so miserable because you genuinely love creating stories and creating characters but your anxiety and constant need for validation drains the joy you once experienced and you feel like an unfinished painting on fire.

Like maybe this is a very universal experience with writers but I’ve never really seen anyone talk about what it’s like to have certain pieces of fiction you adore and bullying yourself into believing you could never make something as great. Has anyone else gone through this/are going through this??? Anyone have any advice or experiences or anything??

[bibi-likes-to-draw]

Can I Get Some Advice On Commison Prices?

Ok, so I have been wanting to start selling commisons and I need some advice on how to price them. Most of the people I know IRL eather aren't artists (that do not buy commissions) or don't do commisons, so I don't now anyone who knows enogh about taking them for advice on how I should price them. I have already come up with some prices and was hoping that I could get artists' and clients' feedback on it. I greatly appricate any advice you have to give!

(Price sheet below the cut)

   Commission Prices

Simple Art Style

Examples:

Sketch - $10 USD

Lineart - $15 USD

Flat Color - $20 USD

Finished - $25 USD

Revisions

Sketch - Free (per revision)

Lineart - Free (per revision)

Flat Color - $5 USD (per revision)

Finished - $10 USD (per revision)

Other Additions

Noise/Grain Filter - free

Cometic Aberration Filter -  free

Cometic Aberration (Hand Done) -  $5 USD

Glitch Filter - free

Color Script (only available for Sketch & Lineart) - $5 USD

Normal Art Style

Examples:

Bust

Sketch - $25 USD

Lineart - $30 USD

Flat Color - $45 USD

Finished - $55 USD

Waist-Up

Sketch - $30 USD

Lineart - $35 USD

Flat Color - $45 USD

Finished - $60 USD

Full Body

Sketch - $35 USD

Lineart - $40 USD

Flat Color - $55 USD

Finished - $75 USD

Backgrounds

Flat Color - Free

Gradient - Free

Transparent - Free

Flat Color w/ Border - Free

Gradient w/ Border - $1 USD

 Flat Color w/ Shapes - $5 USD

Gradient w/ Shapes - $6 USD

Simple Background - $15 USD

Complex Background - $40 USD

Revisions

Sketch - Free (per revision)

Lineart - $5 USD (per revision)

Flat Color - $20 USD (per revision)

Finished - $30 USD (per revision)

Other Additions

Noise/Grain Filter - free

Cometic Aberration Filter -  free

Cometic Aberration (Hand Done) -  $5 USD

Glitch Filter - free

Color Script (only available for Sketch & Lineart) - $10 USD

[sillydegu]

Seeking advice from people who have done rat introductions.

Laurel joined the trio in February, they mostly get on, but there's some occassional fighting resulting in minor injuries. I'm back to being able to let them free roam without incident, but it's taken a while to get there.

The shelter I got them from emailed me again, asking if I'd be able to take in another lone girl. It sounds like she had a friend until recently, but doesn't come from good circumstances.

So, my question is, does my group sound like one who adding another rat to is a good idea or not? I don't want to upset things further, or end up with two groups.

[artofkhaos404]

Hey, guys. I don't usually post anything about my personal life on this page, and if I do it's usually vague, but I'm curious to get some thought, and maybe support, from the community during this next stage of my life.

I've battled with fairly major mental illness for at least half of my life but never had the option to attempt recovery or even address the issue in general. However, recently I have all but lost my ability to function and there seems to be no other option left but to seek help. I'll be having my first ever therapy session this month, and to be honest, I don't think I've even fully comprehended that yet. Feels like I have years worth of secrets, symptoms and stories to unbury from the depths of suppressed memory...

Does anyone have any advice, tips or thoughts on beginning therapy? Where to start? What to avoid? How to go about opening up? Good therapists versus bad therapists? I'll take anything you guys got.

Thanks 🖤🖤🖤

[glitchyko]

I’m sorry I haven’t really been posting art lately, maybe beyond some simple sketches, I’ve been busy and things have been hectic lately, I do have things I want to make but life has been kinda rough-

But there is something’s I do kinda wanna address and maybe get some advice about it cause I’m not entirely sure how to deal with this issue even though it severely affects how I got about creating art and doing projects and such-

So, I have really untreated ADHD, and I struggle a LOT with executive dysfunction, especially when it comes to starting tasks, and actually finishing them, I have so many WIPs that aren’t past the sketch phase, once I get the sketching phase done I never come back to it, and sometimes I can’t even get myself to start the drawing, and i can’t get myself to draw if I’m “not in the mood” and it’s so frustrating cause I want to draw but I just can’t

A big issue I have when it comes to wanting to do things that wouldn’t be just a one time thing or a drawing that’s wouldn’t be a sketch is that I tend to really think about all the work I have to do, how much I have to think of, how long something will take, how much faster I need to work, do I have all the skills I need to do this, am I capable of doing this, can I work on this and other stuff at the same time, will it turn out good, etc and I end up scaring and unmotivating myself out of doing the thing I wanted to do, I have stories and projects and characters I want to tell and show and do but when I think of all the work I’d have to do I end up just, not doing it, this is why things I have shown and talked about here just, don’t go anywhere, and it gets really disheartening cause even though I want to do so much, I just can’t

And when I see artists who can make work quickly, get themselves to draw so easily, who don’t have to do so many different steps just to finish a mere sketch, I get frustrated with myself, I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but it’s so difficult, I’m a huge perfectionist to the point where if something doesn’t look good enough, I can’t work on it anymore and I end up abandoning the drawing

The last thing I want to bring up is style, there’s so many things I want to do with my art and how I go about drawing characters and such, but when I try doing what I want, it just, doesn’t look right or good to me, which probably stems from the perfectionism and comparing myself and my work to others. But there’s the also a problem of me deciding what do I really want to do with my art? Do I wanna go more stylized or realistic? How far do I wanna go with something? I just can’t decide because I don’t know if it’ll look good, when I see someone do something I think, “I wanna do that” and then I see someone else do something completely opposite of that and think, “I wanna do that” and I get so frustrated because I don’t know which one I want to actually do

But yeah, this ended up kinda devolving into a vent post, I apologize if I got a bit too personal, but these issues of mine have been on my mind for a long time, and I want to deal with them and get better. So I’ve finally decided to work up the courage to talk about them and ask for help and advice, which is why I’m making this post, if you have any ideas or advice on how to deal with these problems, even if it’s something small, please let me know, I would really appreciate it, thank you.

[furiousgoldfish]

(seeking advice, for people who understand OSDD and DID well)

I've explained recently there's been a host change, and right now we understand a little more of what happened, and why the old host broke. It turns out that the primary protector was broken for a while, and decided to keep it quiet and just distance themselves away, which in turn eventually broke the host, who could not keep on going without a single protector in the system.

However, what we're trying to figure out right now is whether I'm an alter who is separate from the old host, or did I break off from the host, and split into a new one? I'm thinking this might have happened, because I seem to have all of the skills the old host has, I know what to do in the same way they did, I have extremely little memories, but I don't feel foreign in this body, it feels like I've been in here before, I have gotten used to the mirror reflection easily as well.

I have no memories of existing any second before I became the host. I have no idea where I've been or what have I been doing, and I have memories specifically just from the last few months. I keep getting flashbacks from primary school time and high school, but they're only flashes and moments, I can't seem to remember anything in detail, even if I have general context for what happened in life.

It also took me 3 days to realize that I was not the old host. Even without any memories or feelings, I just thought it was the stress getting to me and that I was the old host. I only realized it after 3 days have passed.

What is different from me and the old host is that I can easily control and manipulate the inner world, I can make or modify anything that's going on inside; the old host could not change a thing, not even with their greatest efforts. That is confusing. It feels like we might have been able to create and control the inner world, again around the end of primary school, beginning of high school, but since then, it's all been set in stone and untouchable. Until now.

I can more easily manage day-to-day life because I don't experience anxiety, stress, worry, or self doubt, the only feeling I experience continuously is anger. Some might have noticed that the posts are slightly more angry in tone since I took over.

I have empathy for the old host specifically, and not for anyone else. I believe that if I had existed before the break, I would not have allowed it. I would have prevented this. I can't imagine existing and not doing anything about it.

The other thing that leads me to believe we might have split, is the pain. When I first came to, I was experiencing unbearable amount of pain, the amount that would make anyone suicidal. I felt nothing about it as I have no feelings, but I acknowledged that it is the amount of pain that would make a person suicidal very fast. The old host would sometimes theorize that splitting must be extremely painful for a person, and would mourn the past instances where they felt they must have split, and tried to remember how it felt. I remember this pain vividly, and I do believe that it would kill us if the old host was not switched out.

The pain went away within a few hours after I took over and I've experienced severe depression for several days, unable to recall any non-traumatic memory. When I finally caught a positive memory, I came alive and was able to continue living while feeling generally neutral.

I am currently both the host, and the protector, and I'm holding a lot of trauma in me.

What are the odds that the old host split in two and I'm the half that feels no emotions, and has no memories, except those instantly relevant to the current situation? Would I, in any way know this is the case? How would I check it?

[staringamassivemistakeintheface]

So, I’m doing a very, very low-budget Hypno cosplay for Halloween. I’ve got most of it down, but I’m not sure what to do for the gold parts of the outfit. I only really have a lot of bright yellow thread to work with (and no, I do not have any sewing/embroidery skills). What stuff could I do/add?

[sweatertheman]

I just had a conversation with my friend about the place we're at in our lives. We are both autistic, she is trans. We're in this sort of dreary routine of spending all day on the computer, or playing video games, or engaging in special interests, or masturbating, all at the expense of personal fulfillment and necessary tasks. Its a miserable place, and with every day it gets a little worse as the things that need to be done grow and the enjoyment of those default activities shrinks, but its comfortable, safe. It doesn't take any extra energy, and its so easy to slip into if you aren't using every ounce of your willpower to push past it.

My friend says she needs to get out of this place, that the need is stronger when she feels less able to function.

Is this autistic burnout? Regardless of what it is, how can we overcome it, or make it easier? Any help from my fellow autistics would be greatly appreciated!

[scrambleseggy]

I don’t have male pattern baldness on either side of my family and I’m also super vain concerning my hair lol. I think it’s one of my best features. One of the side effects I’m the most afraid of with T is losing hair volume since I essentially wanna look like a metal dude with luscious hair lol. Are there ways to keep your hair volume while transitioning/combatting a shifting hairline?