#which idk if these playlists are gonna include

[minimoefoe]

EVERY BALLUM MOMENT IN ORDER, 1/?

[sc3n3kitt3h]

SOON!!!!!!!

[taintedcigs]

GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader

CHAPTER EIGHT: MADE YOUR MARK ON ME

← prev chapter // next chapter →

✦ summary: in which you and eddie try to navigate the aftermath of the kiss (wc: 5.8k+)

✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF n then angst oops, a little bit of argument but v tiny, uhmmm smut, p in v, unprotected sx (wrap it up irl), lots of praises, kinda rough. body worshipping? idk. eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, thats it i think.

✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader

✦ authors note — @andvys my angel thank u for all ur love & help💗🙏🏻 not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. i honestly have a love-hate relationship w this chapter BUT ENJOY!!. also like... ily all for all the love on the last chapter omg?

anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series, pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗

series masterlist | series playlist

Minutes.

But it felt like hours. 

And you didn’t want it to be over.

Judging by the hold he had on you, calloused hands grabbing onto your flesh like a man-starved, neither did he. 

This was all he ever wanted. Ever since the day you flagged him over when your car broke down. Even when you were a bitch to him. Even when you rolled your pretty eyes at him. Even when you left him. All he fucking wanted was you.  

Always just out of his grasp, close but never close enough. And this? This was a dream come true. Fucking explosions and butterflies in your stomach type of shit that Eddie always mocked, that you always mocked. 

That scar in his heart that scabbed at the mention of you. Healed. All gone. One kiss from you and it was all back to normal. 

“Eddie!” A booming yell echoed in everyone else’s ears but you.

“Jesus fucking Christ, I swear I’m gonna kill him, Eddie where the fuck are you?” 

Was that… Gareth? 

If Gareth fucking ruined this for him, he was going to hang him by his balls, up on the wall, make sure he could never fucking—

“Eddie!”

And you pulled away, first, Eddie was going to fucking kill him now. A vivid torture method flashed across his mind. Even the adorable flustered look on your face as you drew a breath wasn’t enough to calm him down. 

“I—I think your set is about to-”

“Fuck the set,” Eddie spat, his veins still pumping with the need for you. Brain hazy, he was  never going to get enough of you, was he? A hunger that was never going to be sated. 

The lingering gaze was interrupted by Gareth, scoffing while he dragged Eddie away, ignoring the threats and the cusses that left his lips, the same gentle ones that were just stuck on yours, the sweetest taste, from the filthiest mouth. 

You really needed to shut your goddamn brain up. But how could you? 

His body was turned toward you, shirt stretched out—you did have a tight hold on him. Pale lips now a bit shiny from your candy gloss, stretched into the widest grin, eyes glinting with something you’ve never seen in him before. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

But it was beautiful. He was pretty. Tempting. 

-

You could barely comprehend Eddie’s words when his gaze on you was that striking. “We’re Corroded Coffin, thank you and goodnight.” Slipped past your ears, you didn’t care, you needed him. 

What happens now?

Lingered in your mind, you wanted him to rush to you like you’re in a fucking rom-com, lock your lips in a dizzying kiss, again, you didn’t fucking care. You wanted more. You needed more. 

You could feel the eyes of everyone, including Steve’s impatient nail-biting, dying to know what the fuck happened between the two of you. Yet they didn’t dare to ask you until Jonathan and Nancy had left since the rehearsal dinner was tomorrow. And ever since they were gone, Robin and Steve had been teasing you nonstop, trying to make you crack.

Clearly, something had gone down, and the co-dependent idiots had to know. 

“He looks like he’s going to eat you.” Steve hummed, making you roll your eyes at him.

You were about to give him a smart-ass answer, but of course, he didn’t let you. “I bet if I laid one hand on you, he’d end up here in seconds.” Steve barked out a laugh, Robin joining him as you threw them a dead-set glare.

“It’s not like that—we haven’t—he won’t.” Your frustration was interrupted by a grinning Steve.

“Oh, yeah?” Steve teased, his hand quick to brush away the strand of hair away from your face, fingertips gently brushing against your cheeks, making heat flutter to your cheeks.

“Steve!” you protested, your gaze widening as you chided him, while Robin playfully counted down from ten by your other side.

Steve ignored your protests, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into a side hug. You attempted to push him off with a scoff, but he was relentless. 

“Three… Two…” Robin's counting came to a halt, and your childish squabble with Steve ceased as a deep voice interrupted.

“Mind if I borrow her for a bit?” The metalhead’s gravelly voice cut through the air, his gaze shooting daggers at Steve, who only smirked, much to Eddie's obvious dismay.

“Eight seconds,” Steve murmured in your ear, you could almost feel his stupid smirk forming on your ear shell, prompting a huff from you.

“She’s all yours, man,” Steve chuckled, releasing his hold and retreating with Robin, leaving the two of you alone. Eddie scoffed at Steve's retreating figure before turning his attention to you. 

“What’s their damage?” His brows scrunched together as he watched Steve and Robin walk away, engrossed in their hushed gossip. 

“Do you have all day?” You asked with a roll of your eyes, earning a chuckle from him.

He liked this, he loved this, he missed this. Easy banter, shared laughter. 

“So… you goin’ home?” Eddie asked, nonchalant, like his heart wasn’t thumping in his chest each time you stole a glance at him.

You nodded, keeping it simple, almost avoiding his gaze. His exaggerated reaction, a spat-out “What?” made you giggle. A melody he could never have enough of.

“Well, the night’s almost over, so…”

“Come with me,” He muttered, amber gaze like silk as it connected with yours.

“Where?” 

“Mi casa es yours or whatever the saying goes.” He grinned.

With a huff, “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you muttered.

“Why?”

“You know why.” You enunciated.

He raised a brow, “Enlighten me.”

“I—It’s late.”  

“So? That never stopped us before.” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed.

“Oh, c’mon Pinky,” he coaxed, “we never end nights this early, at least not until we’re a couple more joints in, smushed on the couch, putting on some old horror movie… I thought we were revisiting the past.” He hummed, puppy dog eyes staring at your soul. Shit. 

You shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t.

“Are you really gonna say no to gettin’ high with me, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart.

A nickname you had heard so many times before. Yet, it was different, the way it rolled off his lips making you almost jump in place.

“Okay,” you gulped, physically. Fuck.

He grinned, taking you by hand, fuck all, while you waved a shy goodbye to Robin and Steve, who watched it all with an all-knowing grin.

“Pay up,” Steve turned to Robin with his palm in front of her.

Robin snorted, “No fucking way.”

“Trust the process, Robin. Trust the fucking process.” Steve huffed, watching the two of you leave hand-in-hand.

-

As the two of you entered the familiar house, the sight of it brought enough memories that made you feel light-headed, a repository of memories flooded in your mind. 

“Is Wayne around?” you inquired, breaking the silence that clung to the space. Eddie, leading the way, answered nonchalantly, “Nah. At his girlfriend’s.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait what? Wayne has a girlfriend?” You exclaimed.

“Uh-huh, Hannah.” 

“Oh! That’s great!” 

“Yeah, he’s having sleepovers with her like a fucking teenager, I told him to ask her to move in, but he’s too chicken shit,” he scoffed. 

“Oh, come on.” You elbowed him playfully, “Be nice to him, he deserves this,” you said with a smile.

He nodded in agreement, “He does.” Then turned to you. “You want anything to drink?” You shook your head. 

You didn’t know why, and you didn’t know how, but a shyness appeared within you, propping up your elbows as you leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him intently. 

With a shrug, he opened the fridge, taking out a Schlitz, gaze on you dangerous when he popped it open with his teeth, barking a chuckle when you squirmed at the sudden, sharp sound. 

“Fidgety much?” He grinned, that damn dimple taking its place on the corner of his mouth, making all sorts of warmth flush to your cheeks, making you feel so timid under his gaze. 

You could sense the cockiness radiating off of him, it was addicting, and it was making you feel more and more shy under him. Because both of you knew why you were here, at two fucking A.M., dismissing everyone else, flirting and bickering all the way home. 

Yet, since you entered the familiar trailer, you had been silent. Because you knew, you fucking knew that kiss changed everything. But this would seal it. Another step forward. A territory the two of you had never crossed before. 

And your mind was not being kind to you, screaming at you to stop, to run, to not fucking do this, because you’d end up hurt, because someway somehow he’d end up hurting too, but Eddie wasn’t having any of it. 

Your silence made him cockier and cockier, drawing you in more and more. And if he kept it up, you knew even your idiotic abandonment issues wouldn’t be enough to stop you from jumping on him. 

You wanted this, all your mind could replay was his fingers on that damn guitar, the way his mouth popped open that damn can of beer, the way his stupid plushy lips curled into a smirk. Shaggy bangs fell onto his forehead when he leaned on the counter, arms flexing with it. 

Stop fucking thinking about it.

“You gonna answer me or what, sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“Jesus, you okay?” He asked, concerned, cornering you in the kitchen with his soft hazel eyes. 

Fuck. 

“Mhmm,” you hummed.

“You don’t seem okay.”

“‘M f-fine!” You answered too quickly and meekly for that to be the truth. 

“Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me.”

Yes. No. Yes. No. I think I crave you more than I’m mad at you, but I can’t let you know that, your thoughts swirled. 

“I thought—”

You interrupted all quippily, “Thought what? That kissing me would suddenly undo everything?”

“No…” He sighed, “I thought I proved myself to you.”

“You did, but that doesn’t undo it.” 

“Well, I forgave you.”

You scoffed. “You know forgiving me doesn’t mean shit if you bring it up every time I tell you  you did something wrong, right?”

Crossing his arms against his chest, “Can you blame me?” He muttered, almost defeated. 

“What would you do? If I up and left, would you just forgive me? Would you just trust me and act like it was all okay?” He tensed, words spilling out of his mouth like venom. 

And you narrowed your gaze, returning it back to him. “What would you do if I kissed Jason? I asked you that, yet you never answered. Would you still kiss me? Would you still write notes for me, knowing that Jason’s slimy lips were brushing—“

He was quick to wave his hands in front of your face, grimacing just at the thought. “Stop! Just fucking stop!”

“What, too much for you?” You spat.

“Of course, it’s too much for me! T—the thought of him, anyone, being with you… makes me sick to my stomach.”

“Good, then I think we’re even!” You suggested.

“Even?” He scoffed,  “Is that all you fuckin’ care about?” He retorted, making you huff, once again.

“God, no! I just—I just mean we both did fucked up shit and from this point on we either move on, or we never talk to each other again, which we can’t seem to do!” You snapped, that anger from before had disappeared though, the kiss had softened things. Softened you. 

“Okay, then let’s just move on!” He took a step toward you, getting close again. So fucking close. 

You took a step back, your back hitting the marble counter, yet you remained on your angry stance. “Fine by me!” You retorted, all hastily. 

“That’s fine by me too!” He agreed, towering over you, trying to one-up you. 

“Good!” And, of fucking course you returned the energy. Stubbornness is exactly what defined the two of you, babbling like a bunch of kids over nothing. 

Eddie didn’t hesitate to take another step toward you, this time, both his hands on the marble kitchen counter, fully cornering you, as he grinned. “Great!” 

And you were about to answer, about to one-up him, like he did with you… but then you looked at him, really looked at him.

Looked at how fucking close he was to you, and you shuddered a deep breath, getting caught up in your throat when it reminded you of the kiss.

And that’s when Eddie realized it. 

You weren’t really mad at him. 

At least not really, not since the kiss.

You were nervous… because he was standing this close to you. 

A piece of dangerous information for Eddie—someone who had been in love with you since you were teens, to acquire, because it’d turn him into an arrogant fuck in a matter of seconds—even more so than he ever was.

“Oh.” The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, he was grinning like a devil now. 

“What?” You furrowed your brows, trying to have that annoyed stance from before, but it wasn’t working. 

“Why are you looking at me like—”

He was quick to interrupt, face inches away from yours. “You’re not mad, at least not that much, you’re… nervous.” He grinned.

“N—nervous? Why would I be nervous?”

“Because of me.” That stupid smirk on his lips returned

“Don’t be ridiculous—”

“What happened to that Pinky who refused to talk to me today? Who told me we couldn’t do this? Did one kiss soften you up this much?” He quipped, making you scoff.

“You know what? You’re an asshole.” You sneered.

“There she is.”

“When did you become this cocky, Munson?” You narrowed your gaze.

“I was always an arrogant fuck, sweetheart. But I’d say the kiss helped, like a fuck ton, and you squirming now, too.” He shrugged, like what he just said was no big deal, like how close he was to you didn’t make you gulp nervously.

You almost gasped, offended, like it wasn’t the truth. “I’m not fucking squirming—”

“Look at you… shuddering a breath just because I’m this close to you.” He barked out a chuckle, gaze dangerous, dare you say… lustful.

“Fuck you,” You spat, feeling small under his bashful gaze, cheeks heating.

“Well, I’m trying sweetheart,” He was quick, you had to give him that, making heat grow everywhere in your body, but especially within your thighs now, fuck, he was smooth.

And you weren’t willing to put up a fight, or a front, you wanted—needed him. You couldn’t deny yourself him any longer, not even your commitment issues were enough to hold you off. 

“You’re s—such a little shit,” You stuttered, embarrassingly so. 

God, you wanted to wipe his smirk off by kissing him, you wanted to feel his honey-flavored lips on yours again, you wanted to feel his lips twitch against yours instead of the air.

And he was close again, all in your face, all you had to do was lean a little bit and his lips would be on yours.

“And you’re an absolute pain in my—” 

Fuck it. 

You fisted his stupid shirt, crashing your lips down to his, dizzying, just as magnetic as before, but needier. His lips still tasted the sweetest, yet mixed with the bitter taste of the beer on his tongue made you grow weak in the knees. 

You were about to open your mouth fully, to feel his greedy tongue on yours, but much to your surprise, Eddie pulled away, making you whine.

“Wait—” He faltered.

“What?”

“Do you want this?” He asked

“Yes!” Your voice raised an octave.

“Tell me you want this.” His gaze was serious.

“I do,” you breathed.

He scoffed. “No, I wanna hear you say it.”

“Eddie—” 

“I wanna hear you, or we can just pretend like none of it happened, I can forget the kiss we can just sit around here and—” 

I want to know if you’re in this as much as I am, is what he meant.

“Jesus you’re so fucking—” You scoffed, but he actually backed away, your eyes widening at him.

“W—wait!” You pleaded.

An awaiting grin sat on his lips and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Of course I want this, Eddie. I’ve wanted you for five fucking years, I wanted you the moment I laid eyes on you—okay wait maybe that’s a lie because you really were annoying the first time we met but I wanted, no, I want you—”

His mouth crashed against yours, interrupting you in the best fucking way. His lips felt warm, hot almost. Skin burning everywhere where he touched you, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 

“So eager, princess, already begging for me, hmm?” He taunted, making you roll your eyes in an instant. 

“Just shut up you, asshole.” He grinned, mouth crashing down on yours once again. Much more gentle this time, but rough enough to have your chests pressed together. 

His lips only left yours to be reattached to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses from your chin to your cheekbone. “‘M sorry, sweetheart, I just can help myself you’re so—” He mumbled, voice muffled by your skin. 

He lifted you up, strong hands meeting behind your waist in one harsh move, making you yelp before you wrapped your legs around him, he kissed you like he never had before, all teeth, and no mercy, passionate yet still gentle in somefucking way. 

He pivoted while trying to get to his bedroom, making you chuckle into the kiss, pining you against the wall, and it was all so desperate and messy. And just so you. 

You wanted to discard your dress but he wanted to rip it off, wanted to grab onto your flesh, and feel you, completely. Drink you in. 

He stumbled inside his room, knocking over a few boxes, and sending them over to the other side of his room. Not that either of you cared enough to break the kiss, at least until Eddie plopped you down on the bed, a grin overtaking his lips at the sight of you. 

“You’re so pretty, so fucking beautiful and just—” He took a deep breath, words were failing him, his entire being captivated by you. 

His mind was spiraling, cheeks almost a salmon pink. Eddie had sex countless times before, but none of them meant anything. None of them left him this speechless, none of them made him nervous. It was like his first time, the way his breath got caught in his throat, cock stirring at how pretty you looked, stomach fluttering at how he was on top of you. 

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this. How long I’ve wanted you… How perfect you really are.” He towered above you, and your breaths mingled, bodies tied, chests pressed against one another. 

You wanted to joke around and tease him like he did with you, but you couldn’t help the flutters in your stomach. All you cared about was whether he thought if all of that was. Did he really see you like that?

“You mean that?” You asked, almost shy, wanting to hide your face, but he just gave you a scoff, like it was the most unbelievable thing ever.

It was to him. 

“‘Course I do, Jesus, Pinky I basically worshipped—” He placed a soft kiss on your lips. “The ground you walked on.”

You drew in a breath, “I—I wanted you just as much.”

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned. 

“Don’t say things like that,” he warned, shaking his head. Did you not know the hold you had on him? Even still? He was wrapped around your finger, always has been. Always would be. 

“Don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” 

“Then, don’t, please, Eddie, I want you, more than anything.” 

That was all he needed, low grunts escaped his lips. He attacked your lips hungrily, desperately, twirling his tongue with yours, needy and passionate. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he cursed, hands meeting behind your back to unclasp your dress, and you helped him get rid of his clothes, your fingers fiddling as they struggled to take his shirt over his head. 

It was all messy, stupidly impatient, making both of you giggle while you struggled to get rid of the clothes that were keeping both of your bodies away from each other. 

“So impatient,” you mocked with a chuckle, enjoying the way his eyes boggled your body, it wasn’t disrespectful, you didn’t feel the intrusion as you did with every other fucking guy you’ve been with. Just pure appreciation and your stomach flipped with excitement. 

Fuck, what was he doing to you? 

He drew in a breath when your chest rose up and down, he felt like he was watching a ping-pong match, eyes darting over to every part of your body, he wanted to engrave it in his mind. Have you there forever. 

He could barely comprehend it, you, stark naked, on his bed. Telling him you wanted him, more than anything. And you looked perfect. Fucking perfect. More than he could ever imagine. All those years he spent thinking about you. 

The girls he fucked were always a spitting image of you. It wasn’t a fucking coincidence. He couldn’t get his mind off of you. You made him feel out of his head, and fucking finally, it was happening. 

Cold rings ghosted over your chest, making you gasp. “So—” His head dove into your breasts, latching his tongue on one nipple. “Fucking—” His hand dove down to your panties, discarding them without care before he ghosted over your slit, still waiting for some approval from you. “Perfect—” He hummed, against your nipples, making you mewl. 

“P—please, Eddie,” you muttered, pathetically. 

His eyes shot up at you, amber gaze dark, wanting, needing you to tell him exactly what you needed. “Need you to fuck me, please.”

“Baby,” he rasped, jaw almost hung open with how forward you were being. His cock was trapped in his boxers, needing room with the way words fell like silk from your lips. The nicknames were new, especially something like ‘baby’ but it felt so familiar, like the two of you had always been like this. Like the last five years didn’t exist.

This was all the confirmation he needed, his ringed finger met your entrance, and you whimpered at the slight sensation, your entire body burned with need at his one touch. 

His soft lips trailed down from your chest to your belly button, tongue leaving nice strokes on his way to your pussy, making you arch your back in desperation. 

“Need more, Eddie,” you whined, a pout apparent on your cheeks.

“That desperate, huh?” He grinned, pad of his thumb still toying with your clit, earning gasps out of you. “Haven’t even done much, yet you’re soakin’ my fingers, baby,” he added, that taunting tone making you roll your eyes.

“Arrogant fuck,” your voice came out as a squeak, making him let out a greedy chuckle. 

He inserted a finger inside of you, enjoying the gasps he earned. “You know, I always thought that attitude of yours needed a fix?” He hissed, ringed finger curling inside of you, making you squirm at the coldness as you bucked your hips for more. 

You didn’t know what took over you, or him. The dirty talk just rolled out of your lips like it was natural like the two of you had been together for the longest time. 

It was all the pining, anticipation, and the pent-up desire. And it was making both of you needier by the second. 

“Then do it, fuck it out of me.” A low groan echoed in the bedroom, followed by a string of curses, Eddie’s entire body shuddering with it. 

His fingers left your clit, hands working their way to slip out of his boxers, a rough expulsion of moan released from his lips when his cock plopped against his stomach, making your mouth water at the sight. 

Shit, fuck, shit. 

You gulped, jaw almost wide open, making him cockier if that was even possible. His hands jerked at his cock, collecting the bead of pre-cum collected at his hot tip. “Gonna give this to you, is that what you want, sweetheart?” He taunted.

With a nod, you licked your lips, making his cock twitch in his hands. “I’ll fuck the brat out of you, don’t worry, honey.” His hand was about to stroke his cock again, but you were quick to shake your head. 

“Let me help,” you hummed, your smile and attitude all disappearing, a glazed look washed over your features as your soft hands fisted his length. 

“You’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me,” he groaned roughly when your fingers stroked his rock-hard cock, until he couldn’t take it anymore and pushed you down on the bed and taking you by surprise before his lips re-attached to yours, hands slightly parted your thighs, teeth clashed together, and nibbling on each other's lips, before he finally, finally guided his cock against your entrance. 

Then, he stopped, making you furrow your brows when he reached for his bedside table, and you, unable to wait, were quick to stop him. “No!” His attention snapped back to you. 

“Please… I wanna feel you, ‘m on the pill,” you murmured, pupils blown wide, making Eddie curse once again before he blabbed, nervousness spilling out of him. 

“O—okay,” He hummed, turning to you with a nervous look, “and just so you know I haven’t had—” Shit, he was going to ruin this. 

“I was tested not too long ago and me and Chr—”

“If you finish that sentence I swear to god, I will leave, Munson,” you warned, gaze narrowed and jealousy bitter in your veins. 

He scoffed, “I was going to say we haven’t done a—anything, you lunatic,” he wanted to joke, but words rolled out of his lips like a quick ramble. He couldn’t fucking ruin this. But, he had to let you know. You had to know that they didn’t sleep together.

And much to his surprise, with a grin on your lips, “Oh? I don’t know if I can say the same with me and Jame—” your joke was quickly shut up by a dizzying kiss, and his groan turned into a growl, filled with jealousy, making you giggle into the kiss.

Both of you were idiots. Total fucking idiots. Insane. Crazy. But, fuck, did it feel right, like dominos falling into place, this is what it should’ve been. 

He dragged you more toward the edge of the bed with his rough hands, finally guiding his cock to your entrance, wiping off that grin from your face, hunger taking over fully. 

“You think you’re funny?” He spat, and you nodded all sassily, “Laugh it up, doll. But once I’m done with you, you won’t even remember the names of those other douchebags, I’ll fuckin’ make sure of it.” His arrogance was back, and that smirk played on his lips, shutting you up once again. 

He pushed into you without a warning, making you cry out while your eyes squeezed shut at how good he felt. Your pussy wrapped his cock nicely, so warm and tight that Eddie had no fucking idea how he didn’t cum right then and there on the spot, a low groan escaped his lips. 

He dropped his head to your shoulder, frantic breathing escaped through his nose as he tried to adjust to how tight you were. 

Jesus, fucking Christ. 

He had to hold himself off. 

Your hands clawed at his back, enjoying the stretch while Eddie pushed himself inside of you at a slow pace, reveling in the way you mewled for him. 

Eyes already squeezed shut, mouth slightly open, lashes fluttering the more he drove his cock into you. You looked so beautiful. Ethereal. 

He was struggling to comprehend if this was all real. This entire fucking night. From the fight to the kiss to now. 

It was always back and forth between the two of you, but more real than anything he ever had. 

Pinky. 

His Pinky. 

He loved you, so so much, that his heart was about to explode, his body felt hot from everywhere you were touching him. 

“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight, sweetheart,” he hissed, pace picking up once you finally accommodated his size, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

“Feels s—so good, Eds,” you whimpered. He caught your chin in his hands, tilting your face toward him, making your fuzzy gaze focus on him. “I’ve wanted this for so long. You, wanted you for so long, shit, honey.” 

“Tell me…” He muttered, licking the trail to your boobs, sucking on it with a growl. “Tell me that this changes everything. Tell me that we’ll never go back, and I’ll fuck you like you deserve it.” 

“E—Eddie,” you stuttered, still struggling to comprehend it when his cock was hitting spots inside of you that you didn’t know existed. 

“I…” You sucked in a deep breath, mind feeling mushy before Eddie groaned, tucking his hips back, pulling out of your warm pussy as you gasped at the feeling, just as you were about to whine, beg, he rammed himself deep inside of you, again. A grin appeared on his lips when you cried out in pleasure. 

Yet, his movements halted, as if he was giving you a taste of what might happen, and you wanted to cuss him out, tell him to never fucking stop again, cry out, beg for him to continue. Your body felt woozy with how much you needed him to fuck you, how much you desperately needed to cum. 

“Everything!” You cried out frantically, “E—Eddie, fuck, I d—don’t ever wanna go back, please…”

That was all he needed to hear. And he simply couldn’t wait any longer, deprive his body of you any fucking longer. His movements picked up with a low grunt, fucking into you roughly and fast, all animalistic as he held onto your hips, leaving bruises all over while he worked on your neck, sucking, marking you. 

Pleasure bursted through your body as Eddie’s thick cock dragged along your walls. Both of your eyes locked, emotions gathering in them. Panting as your foreheads connected, thinking the same thing. 

Those three little words begged to roll out of both of your plushy lips, yet too scared to ever utter them. His lips crashed down on you again, this time, just so that those three words didn’t escape his mouth, kissing you with such passion that your head grew light. 

“Pretty girl,” he breathed into your neck, “my pretty girl,” he growled. His cock was driven by a primal need to make you his, every touch meant something, every time he thrust himself into you, it was deliberate, rough, but gentle in some fucking way. 

Shallow breaths escaped your mouths in puffs, as you watched him drive his cock all the way into you, and you tightened up almost immediately, your pussy pulsing around him.

He groaned at the sight of you, mouth hung open, tits bouncing up and down, mewls coming out for him. You looked fucking beautiful, babbling to him about how you were going to cum soon. 

He pressed his middle finger to your clit, drawing quick circles as you whined for him, he was fucking good, and you could feel your walls swelling as you yelled out his name. 

Your screams were muffled by Eddie’s lips as a wave of pleasure hit you like a ton of bricks and the second you came undone on his cock, he fucking lost it. His groans grew guttural as he spilled his load inside of you, falling on top of you with a contented sigh as he made sure every drop of him was stuffed into your walls. 

Ragged breaths filled the room as Eddie slumped next to you, and you stared at the walls, a smile curved on your lips when the drawings you gave him were still there.

“You still have that?” 

“Of course.” His fingertips traced a delicate path along the canvas of your skin, gentle, and warm, pulling away that strand of hair that was hiding your pretty features, a smile formed on his lips, his gaze on you so soft that you almost melted into him. “I told you… your art matters, it’s the very reason, I am where I am.” 

As his words hung in the air, you looked up at him, and he gazed down at you. In that shared gaze, both of you knew. No words were exchanged, yet the depth of your connection bridged any gap.

Three words. Eight letters. 

You should say it, you should tell him first. Let him know, that you love him, always have, always will. Your lips, poised in anticipation, hovered let him now, to utter those words.

But he interrupted, a subtle pull drawing you closer into the cocoon of his embrace. “W—We should go to sleep… hell of a day ahead of us.” He cleared his throat, fingertips weaved through the strands of your hair, caressing it.

A day ahead of us. Us. Us. Us.

It’s promising, so fucking promising. Peaceful. Everything you asked for. Yet, it scared you, because it was good. All of it was almost too good to be true. 

But you wanted to shut that part of your brain off. No, because you weren’t going to ruin this for yourself again, you weren’t. 

You hummed into his chest agreeingly, the vibrations resonating into his chest, his scent enveloped you, fully, completely. 

And each gentle stroke of his fingertips through your hair was like a lullaby, making you give yourself into the security of his presence. It only took a handful of caresses for you to give into the sweet desire of sleep, nestled against his warmth.

-

You woke up next to a void spot in the bed. The morning sun burst through the lazily taped windows of Eddie's room, forcing you to squint against its intrusive rays.

A languid groan escaped your lips as you reluctantly left the warmth of the bed, lazily throwing on one of Eddie’s shirts as it hung well over your knees, making your way to the kitchen as you called out for him.

Silence greeted you.

You checked the fridge, hoping for a note, a hastily scribbled message, anything that might explain why he was gone. 

But nothing. 

At this point, your mind hadn't erupted into full-blown panic; there was no reason for it, or let your intrusive thoughts kick in, no, they were wrong, they had to be wrong. 

There was no way he’d leave you, he wanted this himself. He invited you over. 

And the two of you were supposed to go to the rehearsal dinner early. To help Jonathan and Nancy out. There was no way he’d just leave you like this.

Right?

Or maybe he regretted all of it and left in a panic.

You kept telling yourself the same lie until seconds melted into minutes, and eventually into hours.

And then, it finally dawned on you. 

Eddie didn’t leave a note because he didn’t want to see you.

He regretted everything.

That's why he left you.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiiii! i love ur writing and was wondering if u could do Tommy, Quackity, Niki, Charlie, and Philza with an s/o (close friend for Phil) who is in a riot grrrl band???

stuff like this:

HAVE A NICE DAY/MORNING/NIGHT:]]]

oooo okay!! I can definitely try! I don't listen to many riot bands so excuse any weird stuff that doesn't totally make sense ; have a nice day/night to you too 🫶🫶🫶 ; made sure to make this as gn as possible for everyone so I apologize if it goes against the more feminine aspect of the genre/kinda ruins it 🙏

MCYT ; riot band

includes ; tommyinnit, quackity, nihachu, slimecicle, & philza

warnings ; language

y/b/n = your band name

y/f/n = your fandom name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he loves your music

you're the heaviest band he listens to 🙏🙏 he does try and get into the genre more because he does actually enjoy your music

you're the lead singer for your band, so every time he hears your vocals, he gets all smiley, even in public, which he tries to hide

will make sure to attend every single one of your gigs and record the whole thing LMAO

if he's like the perfect distance away from the stage, you'll sneakily look at him to help your nerves and make it feel like he's the only one in the room

he helps you write lyrics as well/get inspo for new songs

"and it goes in a rythym like ba-dada-bum-ba-dada-bum, yknow?"

extra points if your band sounds a lot like Hole or Veruca Salt, bc he'd definitely have some of their songs on a playlist

casually your biggest fan, always reposting gig dates and playing your music on stream

leaving comments under picture posts on the band insta like "come back to brighton for my birthday please, I beg" and "its to early to be served perfection, wait a few hours :("

he doesn't always make sense but he's loving and absolutely loves your music dw

NIKI NIHACHU

she is the number one fan

she got your bands top listener and has over 15k minutes of listening time by the end of the year

you're lead guitar, so she's always interested in watching you play and how you move your hands and fingers to create such a cool sound

extra bonus points if your band uses that kind of echoey down to your soul feel, kinda like suicideboys or lil peep (best examples I got bc I'm not into this genre very much lmao)

always bringing you up in conversation as well

if anyone's looking for bands to listen to, you're a million percent the first she suggests

you show her new chords you wanna use or expand on and she just watches and listens so intently

always playing your music on chill streams and recommending her viewers to listen to your band, and always points out that its you playing lead guitar

"personally, I think you should be winning a Grammy this year"

"ehhh... MTV awards are better"

"I'm gonna go get you nominated for the MTV awards then, I'll be back"

"I don't think that's how it works!-"

ALEX QUACKITY

he mostly listens to stuff like victoria monet, the weeknd, childish gambino, sza, etc

but being dragged into the rabbit hole of riot bands expanded his music taste a lotttt

you're the lead singer of course (main character hours)

yk the clip of him on the qsmp and metro boomin randomly starts playing? that happens but with your band!

"whoops- I-I have no idea why the hell that started playing, sorry! the last thing I was listening to wasn't even y/b/n, the fuck?"

he gets all his close friends hooked on your music as well

bonus points if you get a more grunge kinda feel in there like foo fighters or nirvana

always posting pics of you from gigs or reposting pics of you/your band

and always leaving comments like "vocal lessons when?" and "gig near you ✅️ gig near me ❌️"

always roasting your music as a joke as well

"the blueprint 3, one album, solos y/b/n. sorry y/n"

"must I bring up-"

"nope!"

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

he looks like the type of guy to secretly have a 200 song long playlist of punk music idk

you're the bassist, and he loves making you play shit on stream for him lmao

also loves reposting anything relating to you and your band, fanart, random rants about your music, gig dates, new music release dates, photos, etc

don't get him started on the edits

he'll randomly blurt out random noises and rythyms and boom, writers block gone, new song? made.

serious bonus points if you sound the slightest bit like joey valance & brae

you show him how to play bass a bit as well

always recording every gig, he's so proud of you, plus the lights make you look so good

always talking about you as well

"my partner is a bassist in a band, I think they solo all of you losers"

"Charlie what?? when were we talking about significant others?"

"since I said so, bitch!"

cue video game car crash

he has a little thing in the bottom of the stream screen with the album cover w a spinning record next to it, and on top is the song & band name. 80% of the time it's just your band

^he uses that during his stream starting soon segments, bathroom/snack breaks, or chill streams on the qsmp

PHILZA

he and kristen both love your music

he sees you like his kid so he's going the extra mile to support you all the time

from streaming your music in the car to reposting and posting about gig dates, new music and merch drops, etc etc

you even have your own little section in his Discord titled 'y/b/n chat' (and another for announcements about your band/notifs OK social media titled 'y/b/n announcements')

when spotify wrapped comes around, your his third most listened to artist, and kristen's second LMAO

"aweee thank you father, I appreciate your loyalty to y/f/n and the band 🫶"

always bringing up your music as well, especially when streaming with friends

"Tommy, did you listen to y/b/n's new song yet? I think you'd like it"

"wait wait hold on lemme pull it up"

he goes to a few of your gigs with kristen and he's just chilling in the back like a proud parent

you always find him and smile because he's there cheering you on

he's more of a dad than your actual dad bro

[sameschmidtdiffname]

And now, for some shit ain't nobody asked for... *drumroll please...*

Fanboy Futturman Headcanons That Hardly Make Sense Unless You're Deranged

(because it's fun)

Tags: just rawdog it bruh, idk what this is. I got fucken murmed.

Notes: Special thanks to @luverstream for going insane with me. This list is based off of our oddly specific thread. Love you pookers <3

                        °☆>》¤●¤《<☆°

• 100% started writing fanfiction for 'Biotic Wars' because there was only two works in the whole fandom and they were both illiterate/ooc

• It started as a challenge because he likes writing as a hobby so he made a random account on Tumblr and wrote a one-shot from Tigers POV just for shits and giggles

• He didn't expect literally anyone to read it, maybe a couple notes

• Then around his lunch break the next day his phone won't. Stop. Dinging.

• Long story short, he ends up with an account with like. 1.1k followers

• Once he realizes he has a serious reader base, he takes his blog seriously

• He spends a weird amount of time perfectly curating his blogs aesthetic with mods and whatever extentions he can find

• Personally commissions other fans for his fanfic borders, proper gifs, etc. He has one fanfic actually illustrated for Kinktober and it stays at the top of the 'Biotic War' tags for months

• Speaking of Kinktober, literally will not make plans for October/late September because he knows he's gonna aim to post everyday

• Will stay up for days writing when he gets hyperfixated

• Hates posting short fics. If the number doesn't end with a .k he doesn't post it until it does

• Also has a bunch of Easter eggs from his favorite movies and such in his works as well

• Knows an insane amount of copywrite laws because he's had to deal with people illegally selling his works/uploading them on other platforms

• When he eventually gets a partner he initially lies and says he wanted to become a lawyer when he was a kid, thus why he knows so much

• That works for about 12 minutes before he finally breaks down and tells them the truth, then offers to show them his work because he's told literally no one in his personal life about it

• His partner eventually becomes his editor and co-author on certain works (mainly smut)

• Half the time when he's actively working on smut he's gotta stop midway to "test the accuracy" w/ said partner

• Writes OUTRAGEOUS smut that makes him unable to look in the mirror while he's writing it

• Deadass hides under his blankets in total darkness with tape over his computers camera because of the shame

• Has a collection of proofreaders/consultants because his first smut included cervix penetration and he got dragged by basically everyone on Tumblr for it

• Had a work get popular enough one time one of his friends sent it to him because they figured he'd get a kick out of it

• Which made him panic and stop writing for like a month to lay low

• Has a completely different Spotify account for writing because his mom uses his "normal" account even though he has a family plan (side note: they make little playlists for each other :))

• Has like 50 different playlists dedicated to his fics that's available for his readers to listen to

• The artists all range from Deftones to dodie depending on the work

• His top artist is Ayesha Erotica with 2000+ minutes spent on 'Yummy'

• (Also has an impossible amount of hours logged on said Spotify account)

• Has a whole panic attack when he leaves his phone in the 60s because he had a whole new chapter ready to publish in his 20 part hurt/no comfort/slowburn fic that was over 10.k words in his notes app

• Wolf finds his Ao3 account one time and becomes... concerningly obsessed with Futturmans work without realizing Futturman is the author

• It gets to the point Wolf will legit go on 30+ minute rants about the stories while Futturman is just hyperventilating in the corner because he doesn't know how long he can keep up the facade

• It gets worse when Wolf makes an account and starts actually commenting on the works

• However he ends up getting impressive tips from the rants and ends up incorporating his suggestions into his works

• Wolf never stops bragging about this

• His most popular work/series follows a female oc that originally started as a one-shot request for a oc x Wolf fic (which Wolf hates because he says it's OoC. Futturman does not agree nor care.) But ended up getting popular enough there's well over 20 parts

• At some point he, Wolf and Tiger get into a massive argument because he finds a bound copy of all of his works amongst their supplies and no one will confess who's it is and keep blaming each other

• (It's Tigers)

• When he gets to his final timeline he manages to get his all of his drafts back through Susan (who had a lot of questions, and was given no answers) and just publishes his work as an original series since Biotic Wars no longer exists

• "Orginial series" gets insanely popular and now he has like five burner accounts so he can read fanfiction of his own fanfiction

• Writes fanfiction for his own series purposely to fuck with the fanbase

• Usually will make it ooc but well written, but once in awhile comes up with a "headcanon" that will come true in his next book so he can watch the readers implode

• And last but not least

• He casts his other self in the final timeline as the male lead in the eventual movie adaptation. Because of course he would

(Bonus: in the OG timeline when Futturman ends up disappearing, his biggest series ends up never being finished, nor his blog updated. Leading to a weirdly thorough four hour video docuseries made by Wendigoon about the rise and disappearance of the mysterious author and how the 'Biotic Wars' fandom eventually finished the fic themselves and created their own spinoffs, leading the work to get more popular than 'Biotic Wars' ever was and like five different people falsely claiming they wrote it, only to be disproven within an insanely short amount of time. Yeah, kinda a full on My Immortal.)

                           >¤》○《¤<

Don't ask me what this was, I think I got possessed. Anyways, bon achoo sweet.

Taglist:

@cassiecasluciluce @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support pookies!!! <3

               •▪︎Masterlist▪︎•

[sixofpomegranates]

♜ More Than You Asked For ♜ – S.R.

Request: idk if you're doing requests or not BUT IF YOU ARE: "spencer lends his hoodie to reader on one of their adventures. After he's dropped her off, she realizes she forgot to give it back. While folding it up, a few things fall out, including an old iPod. Curiosity getting the better of her, she can't help but look through the music and finds a playlist with her name as the title" — @wherewitcheslie

Pairing: Best Friend!Spencer x Fem!Reader

CW: Fluff | NO USE OF Y/N | friends to lovers, tooth-rotting fluff, pining, a kiss

Cases have the tendency to escalate at times; I know that's what is to be expected in this job. What I had not expected, however, was a freaking chase through the sewer system of New York.

By the end of this Hollywood movie cliché, I smelled so bad I actually felt like crying. But the unsub was caught, and the last victim was now asurvivor.

Stepping out of the hotel shower, I blow dry my hair. I brought heat protection and a leave-in conditioner so I don't fry my poor hair to death. Slipping into stretchy, actually comfortable jeans (Yes, those exist. Yes, they were expensive.) I put on an oversized pajama top and stumble out into the hotel room.

Spencer stands there, packing his go-bag, already done with packing mine. I love having my best friend be my co-worker. Fucking hate packing, and it's nice to see that he packed my sewer-clothes into a separate plastic bag.

"Feeling better?" he asks with his boyish grin.

I nod. "I needed that shower."

A chuckle escapes him. "Yeah, you reeked."

I throw my towel at him. "Thanks, cunt."

He catches the towel mid-flight and watches me drop onto the bed. Within a second, the towel is thrown onto my face. I grab it, giggle weakly, and roll it into a ball, tossing it onto the floor.

"You should put on a sweater or a jacket. I know we're just getting into a cab and then into the jet, but you're freshly showered, and it's starting to rain."

I have packed nothing comfortable. The shitty part of looking professional is that professional clothes are professionally uncomfortable. I definitely need to go shopping and buy stuff that ticks off both comfortable and professional.

I let out a childish groan. "I don't wanna..."

"C'mon, you're gonna catch a cold," Spencer tells me in a firm but gentle tone.

I roll onto my stomach, pressing my face into the mattress while complaining about my clothes. I hear him come closer, lean in, and reaffirm my protests with "Uh-huh"'s.

I run out of oxygen and stop whining. That is when Spencer sits down next to me, rubbing small circles into my back.

"Would you want to wear something of mine?" he offers.

I instantly jump up, kneeling on the bed and nodding. He chuckles, opening his go-bag. I know him well enough to know he gets uneasy when I rummage through his neatly folded clothes, so I just look at them.

"So, what do you want?" he asks. "A cardigan, a shirt-"

I interrupt him. "Can I wear your hoodie?" He raises his brows. "The grey one."

"I wore it to bed."

I know that. It's one of his favorite sleeping items when it gets colder.

"I know," I say, making grabby hands. "Now, gimme."

Pulling out his hoodie, he says, "What's the magic word?"

I sigh, trying to reach the hoodie, which he starts holding further up. "Spence."

"Wrong. Try again."

"Please," I tell him and get the soft hoodie placed into my hands.

"Wasn't that hard, now was it?"

I stick out my tongue and then let myself get swallowed by the hoodie. It smells like old books, coffee, and Spencer... or maybe all of that is Spencer. I happily flop with my arms, the way too big sleeves flopping around.

"You know, this is the best thing that came out of your fling with Max," I tell him as he hands me a pair of socks.

"A little harsh, isn't it?" he says, still smiling.

I shake my head. "She was a bitch whenever I tried befriending her."

"Yeah, but that was mostly my fault," Spencer quickly defends the woman who dumped him and moved to New York.

"Not true."

"Very true."

"Why should that have been your fault?" I ask as I put on my shoes.

"Because I constantly talked about you. She felt threatened."

"About what? Us being friends?"

There is no chance Max was actually jealous. I was the jealous one because she was constantly around my best friend, making alone time impossible.

Spencer shrugs, grabbing both our bags and leading me to the door. "Just repeating what she told me when we broke up."

I stop in my tracks. "She broke up with you because of me?"

He quickly shakes his head. "No, no, sweetheart. It just didn't work out with us."

"But- But why didn't you mention it earlier? You and Max broke up a year ago."

Why did my best friend not tell me that I was part of the breakup talk his girlfriend gave him?

"Wouldn't have changed a thing. You only would've bullied yourself into thinking it was your fault." He looks at me for a split second, then smiles. "You're doing it right now."

I shake my head, lying. "No, I'm not."

He leans closer while locking the room's door. "Liar."

I love when his face is this close to mine. It makes it so much easier to see the green specks in his hazel eyes.

"I'm not lying," I insist, but he knows me too well.

Letting go of the key still sticking in the lock, he tickles my side until I'm backed up against the wall.

"Shame on you for lying. Evil little thing," he chuckles with fake appall.

I try to squirm away without actually trying to escape. Because once he stops tickling me, we stand here, his body pressing me against the wall, his face way too close to mine.

We're both quietly staring at each other, and I wonder if he feels it too.

Okay. Maybe just calling him my best friend is hypocritical and dumb and simply not true.

I have been somewhat crushing on him since I first met him. Doesn't speak for my taste in men that it was when Tara had taken me to visit him in prison. I had seen him, he said hello, and my stupid heart skipped a beat so intense I am still recovering from it.

I joined the BAU as Dr. Spencer Reid's temporary replacement for the time being as he went to prison. I had practically jumped at the opportunity to play with the big guns, and when everything was cleared, the dust Mexico and Mr. Scratch had created had settled, Spencer had made sure I was promoted to a permanent part of the team.

He softly whispers my name, and I think he feels it too... this connection that is hunting us while we pretend to just be friends.

We jump apart the second somebody opens a door on our floor. Luckily so, because Emily and JJ come out of their room, joking about something. Spencer and I avoid our gazes until all of us are in the elevator; there, we just smile at each other.

Like...Friends.

*****

At home, I throw my go-bag aside, dump some clothes into the wash, and collapse on the couch. I'm too tired to grab a blanket, so I shove my hands into the pocket of Spencer's grey hoodie, hoping that's enough to keep me warm.

But there is something in the pocket I haven't noticed before.

Spencer's old iPod.

I love that he refuses to simply get a smartphone. It's one of those not-fully understandable quirks that just make you way more fond of somebody.

Turning it on, I decide to snoop a little – Checking out what my favorite doctor likes to listen to... It's only fair. He's all over my stuff too. No secrets; we're best friends, after all.

Putting the headphones in, I go through his playlists and...Oh My God, Spencer is a Swiftie.

But then I stop in my tracks. I need to look twice.

There is a playlist with my name.

Okay. Nothing too out there. This playlist can have a multitude of reasons. Maybe those are songs he knows I like, maybe ones he thinks I'll like once he shows them to me... Or what if they're songs that remind him of me?

I open the playlist and go through the songs. Yes, there are some that I like, but why in the world are most of those songs about unrequited love?

I sit there (rather lay there) on the couch for almost an hour, just having the songs play. As"I Can't Make You Love Me"by Bon Iver stops playing,"Line Without a Hook"by Ricky Montgomery starts...

Why?

Why does it seem like I am not the only one holding feelings that go far beyond friendship?

I sit up and turn off the iPod.

Is Spencer in love with me? Am I actually that fucking lucky?

Do I now just confront Spencer about it? What if I read the playlist wrong, and it's actually just a playlist like any other, and I make myself out to be a gigantic dummy, ruining my friendship with him?

This is stressful. But... Spencer wouldn't end our friendship just because of my little crush. The one I have since I first saw him. The one that makes me want to say"I love you"whenever he makes me laugh.

Right?

No. No, not Spencer. It's not like I decided to fall for him. It simply happened. He'd understand that should he not return my feelings, right?

Yes. Definitely.Maybe.

Maybe I should just stay quiet? Leave this question unsolved.

Is not knowing better than taking the risk? Is it smarter?

My phone rings, the picture of my best friend lighting up on the screen. Sometimes I am worried that he's able to read my mind.

I pick up, sounding so calm and cool I wanna pat my own shoulder. "Hey, Spence."

"Hey. Uhm... Did- I- You don't know by any chance if I left my iPod in my hoodie pocket, right?" he asks quickly.

"Yeah, I have it right here," I tell him.

"Cool. Cool," he answers, still sounding unnaturally stressed.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Of course. Listen, sweetheart, would it be okay if I'd come pick it up real quick?"

I frown. "Okay, what secrets do you have on that thing? Nudes? Porn? Homemade porn?"

"What?" he asks back, confused.

"Nobody loses it that much when their best friend has their iPod unless there's something on it you don't want me to see. So, is it nakey pics of you?" I tease. "Because if so, I can't guarantee that I won't be snooping for them."

"D-Don't turn it on. It- It's nothing suspicious. I just want- I need you to. It's cause..." he stutters and stammers until his voice falls silent.

Thinking about it for a second, I decide to take a leap of fate. I can easily play it off as part of the teasing, after all.

"Is this about the playlist with my name?"

The other end of the phone call is quiet. For a solid minute, I wonder if Spencer became unconscious. This silence somehow speaks louder than any excuse he could throw at me.

"Spence?" I ask.

I hear him swallow roughly. "Y-Yeah?"

"Is it about the playlist?" I whisper.

"Yes."

Goosebumps form on my entire body.

"Why?" I ask.

Almost silently, he says, "I think you already know why."

I hold my phone between my ear and shoulder so I can pinch my left hand. "Ouch."

Not a dream. I am wide awake.

I am wide awake, and Spencer returns my feelings.

I should buy a lottery ticket because this was a one-in-a-million chance of ever happening, and I should use the universe's decision to favor me as much as possible before my good luck streak fades.

"What happened?" Spencer asks, alerted by my whimper.

"N-Nothing," I answer quickly and a little dumb. "I just pinched myself."

"Why would you do that?"

Because I'm an idiot, Spencer.

"Wanted to make sure I didn't fall asleep on my couch."

He chuckles softly.

"Hey, uhm, Spence? Can we, like, I don't know... Meet in the park next to the De Luca Bookstore?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Because you asked for your iPod back," I say. "And maybe we could... I mean, weshouldtalk."

"Meet you there in 15?"

I agree. "Meet you there in 15."

*****

I walk through the park, glad that the rain we had encountered in New York hasn't reached DC yet. The sun is setting and casting a beautiful golden light over the little lake full of ducks and their little ducklings.

I pass a couple of benches until I reach the one Spencer sits on, staring at the water.

"Hey," I say, sitting down next to him.

He jumps a little, seemingly having been deeply in thoughts. "Hey."

I hand him his iPod. "Sorry for snooping. Wasn't cool of me."

He chuckles weakly, shoving the iPod into the pocket of his suit. "You know I don't mind when you're all over my stuff."

I giggle childishly. "Dirty."

He joins my laugh, making all of this way less awkward. As he stops laughing, a deep sigh escapes him. "I'm sorry you found out about it like that."

"How else would you've let me know?" I dare to ask cheekily.

"Honestly?" he laughs. "I would've taken my feeling to the grave with me."

"Why?" I tease. "Does being with me sound so bad?"

"You know that that's not the reason," he says, leaning closer and bumping me softly with his shoulder. "What would I've done if you didn't feel the same? I couldn't risk losing you."

Suddenly he jerks upright. "I- You- Do you even feel the same, or am I making a fool out of myself right now?"

"If I were to turn you down, I wouldn't still wear your hoodie," I mumble, amused, pulling the sleeves over my thumbs and feeling my face heat up.

A silence spreads between us, but it's not an uncomfortable one. We both seem nervous, but the good kind of nervous... the kind of nervousness you feel when newness in a relationship occurs.

Suddenly, Spencer's hand reaches for mine. I practically jump at this opportunity and enlace our fingers. He lifts my hand, placing a kiss on the back of it, and my heart skips a beat.

"I want to take you out on a date if that's okay with you," he says, making me nod excitedly.

"You have to pay, tough," I tell him. "Only brought my keys and 5 bucks."

Spencer chuckles. "You wanna go home and change first?"

"If you take me home now, we're staying in," I warn him with a smirk.

His tongue darts out, wetting his lips and a pink blush spreads on his cheeks. "We can always just order and watch TV."

I nod, and Spencer stands up, pulling me onto my feet.

As the night creeps in and the lanterns turn on, we walk towards the park's exit, still holding hands. All of a sudden, he stops his steps and pulls me in for a gentle yet longing kiss that lets me feel just how long we have wanted to do this.

"Sorry," Spencer smiles against my lips. "Couldn't wait any longer."

I peck his lips again, the butterflies in my stomach being the sweetest feeling I've ever felt. Then I grin.

"Look at you; got your iPod back, and it even came with a girlfriend. You really got more than you asked for today, huh?"

Continuing to walk, Spencer laughs. "Now imagine how much sooner we could've had this ifyouhad asked for it."

Giggling, I punch his arm. "Oh, shut up."

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | epilogue

✨ title: this is us | complete (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend’s brother ✨ playlist | ✨if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: hi my TIU darlings. we have finally come to the conclusion of this story. 1.5 years later. it's crazy to think about. anywho, i've done my best to research IVF treatments and outcomes, so don't come for me if something is inaccurate (i tried!!!) ✨ a/n 2: remember we have our little TIU celebration!! which I'll make a post about on Friday, which will include some fun things for you. i hope you'll join in on the fun. lastly, thank you so much to everyone who has followed this little story from the beginning. i owe y'all so much!!

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ]

epilogue ~ us | wc: 5.9k

warnings: minor language, the pacing is fast so bear with me!, mentions of ~ fertility treatments (IVF) + needles + low sp*rm motility, some sad thoughts, a game reference to the tv show (This Is Us--iykyk), note: IVF cycles are typically around 2 months, oc jokes about unaliving jk bc he got her preggo, descriptions of labor (err--if you don't wanna read it, then just skip it??), idk I think that's it in terms of warnings lol--if I miss any, kindly let me know

~ Six Months Later ~

Two percent.

The IVF success rate for women ages 35 to 37, and you were smack dab in the middle. Well, you haven't turned 36 yet.

Your face was buried in your hands as you repeated the number. You sat back, turning to Jungkook. “The success rate is 2%. Two!”

He looked just as disappointed after the two of you spoke to the third fertility specialist within a few months, but Jungkook was always optimistic. “It’s better than zero.”

You groaned, leaning over and burying your face in your hands again. He rubbed in circular motions up and down your back. Your eyes began to well up, tears on the verge of falling.

“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but this fucking sucks.” Everywhere you went, the outcome was the same. There was nothing hopeful about the situation.

Jungkook massaged the back of your neck. He muttered softly, ‘Hey.’ He stood, holding your hand, making you stand with him. He pulled you in for a hug. His body warmth radiates as he embraces you. “We’re gonna be part of that 2% success rate.”

You pressed your ear to his chest. His heartbeat is steady. Bum. Bum. It begins to calm your own.

You don’t want to say your thoughts, but your mouth is faster than your brain. “But what if we’re not?” Your heart speeds back up.

Jungkook immediately withdraws from you, grabbing your shoulders and making you square up with him. “Okay—time to play ‘worst case scenario.’ Go.”

The two of you started this little game, taking turns saying all the bad things you’re thinking. With no judgment, no censorship—saying aloud your fears takes away the power they hold, according to your therapist.

“We get pregnant and lose the baby.”

It was a scenario you already had in the past.

“We try all four cycles and don’t get pregnant,” Jungkook says.

“We exhaust every option, spend all our money, go broke, have to move in with Yuna and Namjoon, and still don’t get pregnant.”

Jungkook blinks. There’s no show of emotion on his face. He closes the distance between you, cupping your face. “Or—we keep trying, get pregnant, and have a baby.”

You gaze into those doe eyes you love so much. You couldn’t do this without him and the hope and support he brings. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

The corners of his mouth curved up, “Sorry baby, you can’t get rid of me so easily.”

“Baby?”

“I mean—wifey.”

You chuckled, teasing him at his own game. “Can we go home and veg out?” All you wanted was a bowl of ice cream and your comfort movie.

“You’re not giving up on me, are you?” Jungkook raises his eyebrow.

“Just for tonight, okay?” You give a small smile. “Then tomorrow morning, I’ll put on my brave face.”

“Deal.”

“Hmm, which one do you think Hyunie and Taehyung would like?” You tilted your head, debating between the mylar helium balloons. One said ‘Hello baby’ with zoo animals, and the other said ‘Sweet baby girl.’

Who knew picking out balloons would be so hard?

“I like the ‘Sweet baby girl’ one, and here,” Jungkook points to a cloud-shaped balloon, “Get this one too.”

The two of you walked hand in hand down the hall, ready to greet the happy parents. Hyunie was in early labor for a day and a half before active labor started. She texted, saying it was the longest few days of her life.

“This will be us soon,” Jungkook says before approaching their hospital room.

You flashed a thin smile. “I hope so.”

When you walked in, Hyunie happily ate a jello dessert, and Taehyung was passed out on what looked like an uncomfortable chair. His hand is gripping the bassinet where baby Hani is all bundled up in a swaddle blanket and beanie with a gigantic bow–almost bigger than her.

Hyunie grins when she sees you, and Jungkook brings her index finger to her lips, mouthing ‘shh,’ and points to her sleeping babies.

You walk to Hyunie’s bedside, and Jungkook goes to Taehyung’s.

“Hi, Mama,” you say, leaning to hug her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing much better after this jello–just the energy boost I needed.”

“Aw–good! Now, I will ditch you and steal your baby for a moment.”

Hyunie giggles. “Be my guest!”

You stroll over to Jungkook as he’s standing in front of the bassinet, facing Hani. You wrap your arm around his waist, placing your head against his chest, focusing on his heartbeat.

“She’s so tiny,” he points out.

“Are you going to hold her?”

“What if I break her?”

You pinch his belly. “You’re not going to break her. Just be extra careful and support her neck and body.”

Jungkook didn’t have the luxury of being around when Indie was a baby, but he’ll get some practice in with baby Hani.

He took a deep breath and shook off his nerves. He stepped closer to the bassinet, his left hand cradled underneath Hani’s neck, and then you muttered to take his right hand underneath her bottom. He gently lifts her from the bassinet, trying to shift her head closer into the crook of his arm.

Hani begins to stir and squirm in his arms, but you reassure him that it’ll be okay. “Gently rock her, and she’ll settle.”

“How are you so good at this?” He looks at you before focusing on Hani again.

You giggle. “Well, I have a pretty good record as an Auntie.”

“You’re going to be a great mom,” he says, kissing your cheek. “Me as a dad? That’s a different story.”

“It’ll take practice, Kook. We can’t be so hard on ourselves already.”

“Mm, you’re right.”

Jungkook feels a kick against his leg. It was Taehyung probably having an intense dream.

“I’m up! I didn’t fall asleep!” Taehyung hollers, immediately sitting up.

All of you blink at the newly tired dad and start laughing. This would hopefully be you and Jungkook soon. Tired and delusional with a baby in your arms.

The white walls and tiled floors were becoming familiar to you and Jungkook. You slowly turned to your husband, who was hunched over, holding the bridge of his nose. It was your turn to comfort him.

You focused on the small spider crawling down the wall, sucking in your lips, trying your best not to laugh.

He turned to you, pouting. “Don’t laugh.”

You raised your eyebrows, lips still sucked in, shaking your head. “Do you see me laughing?”

“You’re laughing on the inside. I know it.”

Your hands rubbed his shoulders, rocking him back and forth. “Kook–it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He leaned back, head against the wall. “I was,” he paused, “nervous.”

“Mmhm,” you nodded. “I bet that’s the reason.”

Jungkook groaned, stomping his feet, burying his face in his hands.

On the inside, you were chuckling just a bit. You knew how much he prided himself in how much he could come. He’d always point it out, especially after you two started trying for a baby.

Like how he’d always comfort you, you gave him tickle scratches along his spine, letting him know it’d be okay.

“I’m sure you’re not the only man who has a high sperm count but has low motility.”

He pops back up. “I need to see my little men under a microscope. Whoever the lab tech is must be wrong.”

“Kook—” you stressed. “I did a lot of research, and they say men with high sperm count and low motility can still have kids.”

He lets out a deep breath. “I know. I’m just being a big baby.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him to you. “See, I don’t need a baby—I have one right here,” you teased, patting his cheek as he pouted again. “I’m kidding. I want a little human with your eyes and cute nose.” You reached to bite his nose gently, and he chuckled, going for a kiss.

“Worst case scenario?” he asks.

You tilted your head, thinking about the infinite possibilities, but the two of you always came up with the same outcomes. “How about the best-case scenario?”

Jungkook hums.

“We get pregnant and have a baby.”

He perks up. “We have two babies.”

You blink at your starry-eyed hubby, holding out your hand in defense. “Okay–let’s just try to have one first.”

You hissed, closing your eyes when the sharp needle pierced your flesh. Thankfully, it was the last day of injections. Jungkook was always a champ when it came to these shots.

He set the syringe down, grabbing a piece of gauze to apply pressure on the wound. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. This was round two of your IVF cycle. The first cycle was tough–you were mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Your mood was constantly changing. You were bloated, fatigued—you name it, you had it.

Even Bam could tell something was happening. He was on alert, guarding your every move. He was the spitting personality of Jungkook.

Bam was lying outside the bathroom door, waiting for the two of you to finish. As soon as you walk out, his head perks up, and he stands to his feet, following you to the bed. Jungkook drapes the duvet over you and hands you the TV remote. Bamie looks at you with his doe eyes, practically asking if he could come to snuggle with you.

“Come on,” you say, gesturing for him to get onto the bed, and he does without hesitation. You wouldn’t mind Bamie snuggles today.

Jungkook sits on the bed’s edge. He inches closer, stroking your cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home today?”

You shake your head no. “I’ll be fine. I have Bamie.”

He gives a small smile. “I’ll only be there a couple of hours, then I’ll be back. Call me if you need anything or want me to pick up dinner, okay?”

You hummed, kissing him before turning on the TV. Bamie looks at the two of you, then turns his attention to the screen.

Jungkook stands by the door, saying goodbye. He closes it, his hand lingering on the knob. He wants to stay and snuggle with you and Bam all day, but he also has to network to be a candidate for this new job.

“Okay, Bam. What should we watch?” You look over, and his eyes are already closed, making you chuckle. “Can’t hang, huh, bud?” You ruffle his floppy ears.

You’re unsure what you’re in the mood for.

Thriller/Suspense. Nope.

Romance. Nope.

Action. Maybe.

The trailer started playing for Bullet Train. You’re not a huge fan of Brad Pitt, but you could digest his acting when you felt like it. Sure, why not? There was nothing else to do.

It was strange how you found yourself in Ladybug, Brad Pitt’s character. It’s not like you’re an assassin, but you were privy to misfortunes.

You stopped yourself and shook the notion off. No. This round of IVF was going to work. The trigger shot, the egg retrieval, and the transfer would be successful. Everything will work out. Your fate was not like Ladybug; instead, you’d be lucky.

~ Two Weeks Later ~

As you had anticipated, everything went smoothly with the rest of cycle two. And today was the big day: finding out if it worked.

Unfortunately, the only mishap was that Jungkook’s interview was at the same time as your appointment. He was so close to skipping it, but you threatened him with divorce and no sex if he didn’t go.

You had already come in two days earlier to give a blood sample and were confused about why you had to come in again so suddenly.

Maybe you should take it as a good sign, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up for fear that it wouldn’t be a positive outcome—you’d just expect the unexpected. If it happens—great. If it doesn’t, then you’d keep trying.

Two knocks on the door before it became ajar, and your doctor stuck their head in.

“Hello, hello,” they chirped, opening the door wider as they stepped in.

You sat in the chair against the wall, and they rolled out a stool, sitting before you. You’re anxious. You wished they’d spit it out already.

“Let me start with some good news,” they say, and you listen intently. “There is detection of hCG in your body.”

Your eyes scan their face for the bad news.

“And the not-so-bad news is, we’ll need you to come in every day for the next 8-10 days so we can monitor your levels.”

Your mouth is open, but no words or even thoughts are forming. Again, you didn’t want to celebrate too early.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” you ask, twiddling with your thumbs, your heart ready to burst with joy.

The doctor smiles. “It’s a good sign.”

You suck in your lips and suppress a smile. Your skin is warming up, and you only want to call Jungkook and tell him the good news.

But the little voice in your head was like a broken record, ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself.’

“Today, we’ll monitor your levels, and as I said previously, we’d like you to come in every day until we feel like your levels are steady.”

You nodded in agreement.

The real question was, would you tell Jungkook or just wait? He’d want to know, right?

You had gone in every day to test your levels, and each time they increased, your heart would leap when you were given the results.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, weary of your frequent daily outings, but you told him you just needed fresh air and time to yourself, and there was nothing he needed to worry about.

You felt guilty for keeping it from him. He’s your husband, after all. In your mind, it would soften the devastation if this embryo transfer didn’t work. At least you would have had time to process it and then help Jungkook, and then the both of you wouldn’t be a mess simultaneously like the first go-around.

“Congratulations.”

You clutched onto the baby photo album against your chest as you turned around to find a sales clerk. “Oh–um, thank you.”

“Is there anything I can help you find?”

You shook your head no. This was so new that you didn’t know where to begin. “I’m just looking, thank you.”

She smiled warmly. “Well, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask,” she said before walking away.

The only thing you could think of was if Jungkook would be upset at you for waiting so long to tell him.

You took a moment to breathe before entering the apartment. Your hand trembled as you reached for the doorknob. As soon as you open the door, you’re greeted by Bam, who sniffs your bag. You kneeled before him, placing a kiss on his face.

“Where’s Jungkookie?” you whispered, ruffling his ears. Bam licks your face before leading you to him.

He’s sitting on the couch, legs crossed on the coffee table as you sit beside him. You reach over to kiss him.

“Did you have a nice little outing?” he asked, setting the remote down. Bam lays down by both your feet.

You hummed. “I got you a little present.”

His lips thinned, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Just–open it.”

Jungkook removes the tissue paper and takes a photo album with a note attached. “Looks like I’ll get to call you a new name…” he reads confusedly.

At the end of the note is an arrow. He flips open the album to see the word ‘daddy’ written at the top of the page and a black and white ultrasound photo.

“Is this–is this what I think it is?” He slowly turned to you, his eyes glistening.

You nod, suppressing your smile, and a tear runs down your cheek. “We’re pregnant.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes out a deep sigh. “Is this why you’ve been going out so much?”

“Please don’t be mad at me. I just–I didn’t want us to be disappointed again. I wanted us to have a win, and last time was devastating cause I feel like it's always hard to come by wins–well, for me, at least. Then your whole low motility thing made you sad. When they called me to come in again, I didn't want to get my hopes up in case we didn't get pregnant, and then they kept calling me. Of course, I became more hopeful and hated that I was more hopeful, and then I felt guilty for keeping this from you, and now we're pregnant and finally have some space to breathe.”

You finished your rambling and were too busy to notice Jungkook grinning from ear to ear. 

“Anything else?”

You shook your head no.

Jungkook holds your hands. "Baby, I'm not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” You thought he’d be furious.

He shook his head, placing his hand on your belly, gently rubbing it. “A little human is growing inside of you.”

You look down, then back up at him. “Wanna see the video?” 

Jungkook flashes a smile and nods. You pull out your phone, scrolling to the ultrasound video you recorded. It plays, then zooms into the monitor. The tech points out the moving blob in the corner, and the sound of whooshing and thumping can be heard.

Just as listening to Jungkook’s heartbeat was always reassuring for you, hearing your baby’s heartbeat became another. It was proof that the baby did exist. It’s real. It’s not a figment of your imagination.

The video was on a loop, and you hadn’t realized you were still smiling at the screen. Jungkook holds your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you turn to him. “We did it.”

You hum. “We did.”

Week 20

(Five Months Pregnant) 

To say you haven’t been worried sick since you found out you were pregnant would be a lie. You even bought a fetal monitor and made Jungkook figure out how to use it. You did everything by the book because you didn’t want anything to go wrong.

And searching the internet for what could be wrong with you didn’t help. It gave you more concern than anything.

Today was a big day.

You didn’t know if the flutters in your belly were the baby or because you were nervous. Maybe both.

Jungkook sat beside you on the bed, holding your hand–gripping actually.

You tapped him, telling him to let go.

“Sorry–I’m just nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” you chuckle. “At least you don’t have a full bladder. I hate this part of pregnancy.” Having a full bladder encourages better sound energy, says your internet search, and having a baby in your belly and a pea-sized bladder was a recipe for disaster.

The sonographer comes in and greets you both. She preps you, squeezing the cold gel onto your belly and moving the small electronic device from side to side.

This is the first time Jungkook has seen an ultrasound live. You hold out your hand, and he squeezes it. Both of you are glued to the screen.

“I’m going to do some measurements of the baby, and would you guys like to know the sex of the baby?”

The two of you look at each other and answer simultaneously, “Yes.”

She chuckles lightly, “Noted.”

She continues clicking her mouse, pointing out the features of your baby. “Here’s the baby’s heart.” She moves the device to a different section of your stomach. “Oh—they’re waving. See their little hand?”

You and Jungkook lean forward, squinting at the screen.

“It’s so tiny,” you pout and look at Jungkook.

“And now she has the hiccups. Can you feel it, mama?”

You both turn to each other. “She?”

“Congratulations, you’re having a little girl.”

Jungkook cups your face and kisses you. He pulls away, smiling and giggling. “Oh man—I’m gonna be outnumbered,” he jokes.

“Good—we’ll put you in your place so you can treat us like queens.”

He grins. “Always.”

Week 37

(Nine Months Pregnant)

“Hubby!”

You hear Jungkook yelling, ‘Yeah’ from the other room.

“I can’t reach the remote!” You tried for 5 minutes before calling out to Jungkook. 

“Be right there!”

“And bring me pickles!”

Typically, you didn’t care about pickles, but this baby girl wanted pickles, specifically from the jar, during this pregnancy.

“‘Kay!”

A few moments later, Jungkook shows up with a jar of pickles and sets it on the nightstand. “You know you can download the TV app on your phone, so that way, you don’t need the remote.”

“Yeah, but that would require me to reach for my phone too.” Which was right next to the remote.

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled, handing you the remote. “How are my girls doing, hmm?” He plopped on the bed, gently laying his head on your belly.

“I need this baby to come out. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.”

Everything hurts—your back, your neck, your legs. And not to mention, your feet would swell if you didn’t take a walk around the block with Bam. You couldn’t even sleep on your back anymore, and if you accidentally woke up lying on your back, this humongous basketball stomach would ache like no tomorrow.

“Just a few more weeks, then she’ll be here.”

“Don’t you dare get me pregnant again!” you joked.

Now you understand what Yuna and Hyunie went through. Were you a one-and-done type of person? It sounded reasonable right now.

Jungkook propped himself on his elbows. “And what if our baby girl gets lonely? She’ll need a sibling.”

You grabbed the jar of pickles, attempted to open it, and then gave it to Jungkook to do the honors. “Nope—that’s why we have Bamie. He’s great entertainment for all the kiddos,” you reasoned.

Bam looks up when he hears his name but goes right back to ignoring the two of you.

He chuckled. “We’ll reevaluate once we get this whole parenting thing under wraps.”

You groaned after biting into the crisp and juicy pickle. “Nuh-uh,” you mumbled, wiping the juice down your chin. “Having your baby has limited my food options for nine months—that’s too long for me to go without sushi and cold-cut sandwiches.”

“You don’t even like cold-cut sandwiches.” Jungkook narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at your ridiculousness.

“Yeah—but what if I wanted one? Then I don’t have that option, now do I?”

“I love you, you crazy, beautiful woman.”

“I love you too.”

“Tell you what…”

You’re about to grab another pickle from the jar. “Hmm?”

“I’ll sneak in sushi for your first meal after we have the baby.”

Your eyes widened, and you set the jar back down on the nightstand, then turned back to him. “Don’t let your mom find out. She will riot if my first meal isn’t seaweed soup.”

“I’m sure she’ll be distracted by the baby that she won’t even notice.”

“As long as I get sushi, I’ll be happy.”

“Jeon Jungkook—“ You gripped the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m going to kill you for doing this to me.” You’re delusional, and you’ve been in labor for too long.

Everything happened so quickly that you didn’t even have time to process it. Your water didn’t break like it does in TV shows or films. You woke up in the middle of the night with intense cramps, thinking you pulled a muscle. You hadn’t woken up Jungkook in case it was a false alarm, but after timing your contractions on your app—it was ‘go’ time. When you arrived at the hospital, got checked in, and saw the doctor, you were already 7cm dilated, and there wouldn’t be enough time to get an epidural. So—you were doing this au natural.

He gulps. “You got this—I believe in you.”

You sigh, throwing your head back against the pillow. You’ve been pushing for an hour, and nothing has progressed. Everyone keeps telling you, ‘You’re doing great,’ but you don’t feel like it. Your hair is stuck to your face because you’ve been sweating profusely. All those mom influencers you’ve seen on TikTok and Instagram were all liars. How did they look so cute while giving birth?

“Kook—you have to do this for me. You have to push out this baby. I can’t do it.” You don’t even bother to look at him. Instead, you focus on breathing because you can feel another contraction coming.

Jungkook chuckles lightly and stands, leaning over to kiss your forehead. “You know, if I could do it, I would.”

“I know—I’m—I’m so tired.”

He cups your face. “Just focus on me. On our baby girl, and nothing else. Okay? That’s all that matters right now.”

The doctor looks at the monitor. “Okay, are you ready to push again?”

You’re scared–scared you can’t do this.

And you’ve been through a lot of shit in your life, so you thought you’ve always been tough and could handle anything, and at this point, you were testing your limits.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, mentally telling yourself, ‘You got this.’

“Okay, mama. You have to push as hard as you can.”

You can feel the tension building and know it’s time to do your best. Jungkook is helping you hold your leg back while you hold the other. There’s a burning sensation; everything feels so tight as you push.

“You’re doing great, Mom. I can see the baby’s head.”

Jungkook stops to peer at what the doctor’s seeing. He sucks in his lips. He wants to say something but stops himself.

“Come on–keep going. Keep pushing. Her head is almost out.”

You groan loudly and grip your legs as you push with all your might. And finally, there’s some relief in the tension that was building.

“You did it, mom. The head is out.”

Jungkook looks again. “Oh–this is so weird.” He tilts his head. He’s in awe and bemused by everything pregnancy and labor-related.

“Kook–you’re not helping!”

He clears his throat. “I mean, baby–she’s so beautiful.”

“What does she look like?” you ask, resting quickly against the pillow.

“Really red,” he says, “but she has cute, chubby cheeks.”

“She does?”

He nods and looks back at you.

“Alright, mama. The hardest part is getting the shoulders out, but the rest is a breeze once it's out. You got this.”

You sit up again, holding onto your legs. The doctor rechecks the monitor to assess when the next contraction is coming.

“Let’s have this baby,” she says.

Jungkook lets go of your leg to kiss your cheek and reassure you. “I love you.”

You nod, gripping your legs back further into your chest. And when the doctor says, ‘push,’ you hold back a wail, pushing with everything you have.

The doctor encourages you to keep pushing and says how close she is to almost being out. It seems like the longest few minutes of your life, but when you finally hear the small cry of your baby girl, it’s like you find the missing piece of the puzzle, and it fits perfectly into the big picture.

“Do you want to cut the cord?” The doctor asks Jungkook. He nods in response and takes the scissors, cutting the umbilical cord.

Your baby girl is taken by a few nurses to get cleaned up, and Jungkook turns his attention to you.

“I knew you could do it, baby.” He kisses you before attending to a request of one of the nurses.

Honestly, everything was a blur. From the time you began feeling contractions in the middle of the night until now. It didn’t seem real. It’s almost like a dream. But alas, Jungkook places your baby girl into your arms, and all's right with the world.

Her little hands. Her little nose. Those chubby cheeks. Her pouty little lips. She’s perfect.

Everything you could’ve asked for and more.

“Meet Jeon Iseul,” Jungkook says to his mom.

His mom coos at her granddaughter. “Oh, my goodness. Look at how precious she is. I must be the luckiest grandma in the world.”

Jungkook passes Iseul to his mom and cradles her as she walks to your bedside. She leans over. “Psst–I brought some sushi for you.” You smile and hold in a giggle. “But first, seaweed soup, then sushi.”

You nod in agreement.

Your mother-in-law sits in a chair nearby, gazing at her granddaughter. Jungkook sits on the bed as you two watch them.

“Pinch me,” Jungkook says.

And you never miss an opportunity to pinch his nipple. He flinches, muttering an ‘ow.’

“You said to pinch you.”

“Yeah, but not there,” he leans closer, “and not in front of my mom.”

You giggle. “Sorry, I can’t help it. You were asking for it.” You scoot closer to Jungkook, wrapping your arm around him, and he reciprocates. “It feels like it took forever to get here, hmm?”

He hums. “Yeah, but it was worth it, right?” He leans in, kissing your forehead. “And goddamn, baby—”

You perk up in confusion.

“I have so much respect for you.”

“What? Why?”

“You pushed out a 7-pound baby and still look so good after it.”

“Shut up. I look and feel gross. I desperately need to shower.”

“No–this is the look of a woman who can do anything. I’d never want to mess with you,” he teases.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“We’re in this together, right?”

“Forever and ever,” you say.

Throughout the day, you and your little family had visits from friends. Indie and Hani met their newest little best friend and were obsessed with her, wanting to give her hugs and kisses and pretend to play.

After Mama Jeon made sure you drank your seaweed soup, Jungkook said he’d walk her out and made sure she got to her taxi.

There was a moment of stillness. One you didn’t get to have yet with Iseul. You held her in your arms, scanning over her little features again like you had been doing all day. Her little face was crinkling, forming a frown and then a smile. She squirmed as you lightly stroked her cheek.

As you continued to fawn over your little one, you couldn’t help but think about how much you loved her already. You didn’t even know her personality or what kind of person she’d become, but in your heart, you knew that wouldn’t stop you from wanting to give her the world. Give her everything you didn’t have. Protect her at all costs. Shield her as best as possible and give her the resources, love, and advice to grow up to be anything she wants. You’d do anything for her.

A knock on the door breaks you out of your daze. You look up to see the most unexpected person. Someone you hadn’t seen in a few years. Your mother.

She stands at the door, waiting for you to tell her it’s okay to come in, but you don’t say anything. You’re stunned she’s even here. You cradle Iseul closer to you, wanting to protect her with every ounce of your body.

Your mom clears her throat and holds up a bag. “I, um–I brought you some seaweed soup.”

Now, you’re wondering how she even knew. Maybe Jungkook’s mom was still in contact? You know for sure it wasn’t Jungkook.

You’re silent, unable to form any words. What does she even want from you? To be involved with you and your daughter’s life? And now, of all times?

She walks in, setting the bag of food down on a table. She doesn’t come any closer. You can see her eyeing you, then Iseul.

And again, your first instinct is to protect Iseul from any harm.

“I wanted to come here and apologize.” She looks down at her folded hands, then back at you. “I’ll admit that I wasn’t a good mother nor a nice person to you or your father, and I’m not expecting you to let me into your life or your baby’s–”

“That’s not happening–” you stress, cutting her off.

She purses her lips and nods. “Understood.”

“Anything else?”

She shakes her head no. “I wish you, Jungkook, and the baby all the best.”

Your mother leaves quickly without saying anything else. You feel like an absolute ass, but you need to set boundaries for her and yourself. She made her choice not to be in your life. She doesn’t get to choose when she can come and go as she pleases. That’s not how it works.

Iseul begins to stir. You rock and shush her while in your arms. Tears are welling up, threatening to fall.

“Well, you’re not crying alone if your baby is crying too.”

You look up to see Min Yoongi. You wipe away the tears pooling in the corner and sniffle as he approaches you.

Clearing your throat, you ask, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you in the middle of filming?”

He sets a gift bag in an empty chair before returning his attention to you. “I came to visit my girlfriend, then heard from Taehyung and Hyunie that you had your baby.”

You give him a look. “Girlfriend?”

He smiles, scratching his temple. “Yeah–Minji, your friend. We hit it off at your engagement party.”

You suppress your grin. “Well, thank you for stopping by to say hi to us. I’m glad you didn’t forget about me.”

Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t think I could forget you.”

You scan him from head to toe. He carries himself differently. It was weird to see him happy, but you were glad he found someone who made him radiate golden rays of sunshine instead of his Grumpy Grandpa persona.

“Hey baby–sorry, I got caught up with my mom,” Jungkook says as he enters the room. “Oh–hey, Yoongi.”

Yoongi flashes a thin smile and a slight nod. “Well, that’s my cue.”

“No, no, stay,” Jungkook argues.

“I would, but I have to head out. Congratulations. She’s beautiful,” Yoongi remarks, patting Jungkook on the back before closing the door behind him.

Jungkook sits beside you and Iseul. “Did I miss a lot? I wasn’t gone for that long.”

You chuckle lightly. “You missed my mom too.”

His eyes widen and his mouth is wide open in astonishment. “I–are you okay?”

You shrug. “Yeah–better now that you’re here.”

“She didn’t say anything, did she?”

“We won’t worry about that right now,” you say.

All you wanted to focus on was you, Jungkook, Iseul, and the new chapter you’d all encounter together. You understood that parenthood and motherhood would bring new challenges and new fears, but as long as you and Jungkook fiercely loved one another and continued to fight for each other and protect Iseul, that was enough for you.

Your first morning at home as a family. The sun scantily peeking through the curtains, and the light whistling of snores from Jungkook. And, of course, Iseul, the newest addition, sleeping next to you in a bassinet. Bam is always close by, always on guard, ready to protect all of you, especially Iseul.

You were on your side, gazing at the man you loved.

“You’re staring,” he mumbles, his eyes still closed.

“I’m fondly gazing.”

“It’s creepy,” he teases, peeking an eye open.

“I can leave,” you threaten, shifting out from under the covers, but Jungkook pulls you back against his chest.

"Nuh-uh, you're stuck with me, remember?" He kisses your shoulder.

You turn to lie on your back, staring at the ceiling.

"Everything okay?" Jungkook asks, entwining his hand with yours.

You hum, gazing over at him and Iseul, fast asleep. 

It's more than okay.

It's perfect.

This.

You. Him. Iseul. Bam.

Us.

TIU Celebration - podcast episode, character asks, AMA, drabbles

[cacodaemonia]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks so much for the tag, @lyntergalactic! :D I feel like I've done this before, but it must have been a whole ago. It looks fun! (also, I'm pasting just the questions at the bottom of the post if anyone wants to copy those)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 247, though I'm not really sure what the ratio is for images versus fics... Okay, apparently, 97 of them are tagged with 'fanart' and have fewer than 100 words, so somewhere around 100 image-only works and 147 fics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,141,145; which includes a few collabs and fics for which I just contributed an image.

3. What fandoms do you write for? TCW exclusively 😅 Though I've done a handful of images for other things like Arcane, Dune, Trigun, The Expanse, House of the Dragon...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A bunch of my works with the most kudos are images, but if we're talking fics, then I think it's just some of my oldest ones...

That’s Not How It Happened (This Is How It Happened) - Fives arc fix-it and my first fic.

Orbital Decay - Codywan that I haven't edited since I posted it, so I can't vouch for the quality.

Modulation - Another one I haven't touched since I posted it, but it's an 'Echo gets rescued much earlier than in canon and he and Fives reunite' fix-it of sorts.

Will You Walk With Me? - Waxer's pov from the start of the war to the (fix-it) end, and it mostly focuses on his and Boil's friendship (Waxer & Boil or Waxer/Boil pre-relationship - take your pick). Even though this certainly isn't the best thing I've written, it's my baby. 🧡

Interference - Umbara fix-it featuring minor canon characters and some necessary OCs in the first chapter, then more major canon characters later.

More stuff below the cut, since this is a long list...

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably You're Just Harder to See Than Most, which ends very sadly on its own, but it's part of a larger fix-it including Modulation above, so Fives and Echo get reunited.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Pfff like basically all of them, idk XD;

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, just on one sketch dump, where someone went through 6 chapters of spicy cloneshippy images and then decided they needed to complain about it being gross and immoral 🤣 It was hysterical kjlksahfg

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yes, I'm a certified smut goblin. Not really sure what the question means by 'what kind,' but I guess 'porn with feelings' is probably the AO3 tag that would most accurately describe all of the smut I've written XD

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Hm, I suppose if we're defining that as like, "what ship have you intensely shipped for the longest amount of time," it would be destiel? I was veeeeeery into that ship for many years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've had one wip sitting around for over a year, and for a while I was thinking I wasn't going to get back to it ever. But I made a little vibes playlist for it and had some help brainstorming, so I'm hopeful I can start tackling it again after I get some current stuff drafted.

16. What are your writing strengths? Starting something and working on it until it's finished.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I have a lot of trouble generating ideas on my own.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine as long as it's either A. very short and clear from context or B. for some reason, the writer is intending to confuse the reader and obfuscate what was said. I know I've said it before, but I'm not gonna scroll to the bottom of a fic every few paragraphs to find the translations for whole phrases or sentences. If the amount of 'other language' starts making the dialogue difficult to follow, I'm just gonna nope out.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically, I wrote one thing for Gundam Wing back in like 2000, but I can't even remember what I did with it or what it was about, exactly. Other than that, TCW.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? flsdlfg that's really difficult... idk man, if it's quality we're talking about rather than sentimentality, I'd say it's a toss-up between these three 😅:

My Heart's Red Muscle - Canon-divergent AU where Waxer is a cyborg.

Kinktober 2022 - Character studies/development through smut, where Waxer and Boil find a list of sexy things to try out, so it's kind of meta. It's from my main Open Skies AU, and I'm weirdly proud of this one XD;

We Could Breathe Underwater - Force-sensitive Waxer and Boil AU

Phew! Okay this took me like three sessions to answer, but it was fun :)

No-pressure tags: anyone who sees this and wants to do it, plus @lizardberries @elismor @bilbosmom-belladonna @valkeakuulas @petrifiedforests @marbled-polecat @writegowrite @sophronist @marbled-polecat @ivalane

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

[14muffinz]

Asking some writers/artists I follow:

Is there anything in your fic/comic that you as the author know about, but won't end up in the actual story?

oh for sure

i'll start with the TMNT stuff first because of your PFP, but we gonna be here a while.

[lab rats stuff at the bottom]

warning: fic spoilers galore

In WIBE, one of the characters we meet is Yuichi Usagi, who works at the human ROTM. He also works in the original ROTM. He was robbed while on a trip to the Hidden City, and is originally from a different city entirely. Hueso is doing his best to help him out, but it'll likely be a long time before Yuichi gets to go home.

Some other WIBE background characters in WIBE include: MM!Kendra, MM!Robyn O'Neil, MM!Irma, & MM!Casey Jones. I don't have a lot to say abt Kendra and Irma, since it's been a long time since I wrote any of it down, but I can give it my best shot with Robyn and Casey.

Robyn has been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety disorder for a few years pre-fic. She's in her first year of college which is out-of-state, and does her best to check up on her family via phone call at least every other week. She's also sort of invested in all of April's new drama, but she won't admit it.

Casey's been playing hockey for as long as he can remember, and intends to keep at it for as long as he's physically able. He's also got a knack for engineering, and I'd gamble that sometime not long after the ending of WIBE, he'd start up the Casey Jones vigilante batshittery. His parents are divorced, but he spends most of his time with his Jewish mother, and while he's never been actually taught much about his religion he accepts it as a part of his identity, and if people don't like that then they shouldn't be around him in the first place. He finds the existence of the turtles to be one of the coolest things ever, but after actually getting to know Raph and the others, it doesn't impress him as much as it used to. (If I had time, I'd add in a tiny crush on Raph, but I'm an aro with WAY too many ideas for this tiny fic)

Then there's experienced fighters, where the main thing is me ALWAYS knowing what song is playing in the background. I really love how much music is in MM, and I love being able to say hey! here's the musical vibes of the environment!

sort of on that topic, i've got a hc that any song with even small references to space are songs that rise, 2k12, and MM leo are more likely to enjoy. they don't realize these patterns, but they sure are there.

and to end off the music rant, one of these days i'm gonna make a playlist of songs that I think the rise crew all collectively agree are good enough (this is what space feels like, goodie bag, punk tactics, etc. etc.)

there's also two in one, which is based off an au by @blackfire-fanfiction. I have to be real cautious abt what I put in there, because a lot of people are looking at it instead of the extended context of the real thing, not to mention how many Thoughts that aren't really canon I have about it. For instance: today I had a good 30 minute daydreaming session abt the concept of rise!Donnie reading leonardo's notebook while he's comatose post-rise movie and finding out about the switching

in dimension desync, I poke a bit at my head canons about peni parker's movie universe and her mental health at home, and have expanded on this even further in an abandoned draft. this is going to be LONG, so here we go: Gwen Stacy and Richard Parker were around in Peni's universe before she herself was, each piloting a mech of their own [Ven#m and Sp//DR]. A few months after Peni's mother is pregnant with her, Richard dies in action, and a few months later, Ven#m sort of devours Gwen (go read the comics because it's really fucked up but idk how to describe it) So then the role of SP//DR is forcefully thrust upon Peni at the age of eleven, and her connection with SP//DR isn't exactly... perfect.

in my team blue universe, I'm fleshing the hell out of Sam-13 and Shadowcat (both from earth 65). Sam was created by corrupt parts of SHIELD (that have yet to have been identified as corrupt) but now is just a regular agent. Cap returned to their dimension when he was 14 and has been in charge of training him ever since. Cap is stubborn to a fault and is def being manipulated by the corrupt agents, but none of the kids have gotten close to that bigger picture yet. Meanwhile, Kitty was inducted into the weapon x program (or 65's equivalent of it, I don't remember much of the wolverine origin story) at the age of 8, and despite odds survived. Wolverine took her in, and she's been helping him bounty hunt since about 13, even though he's trying to stop her.

team blue is also starting to extend to universes that the spider-verse movies don't really deal with through plants that have yet to be explained. but miguel's spite at e-199999 has definitely transferred, which means that, if they were ever to interact, not many of the main team would like the mcu-vengers

in my very obscure mech-x4 series, Olivia (who is only referenced by name once in the show) is veracity's little sister, who is 7 years old. This series is more of a set of vaguely connected oneshots, but still.

i could go ON AND ON about Oliver in all of my mighty med/lab rats fics, but in short: arcturion made his hair start growing in blonde, which he hates. Horace is his adopted dad and so it sucks ass when he dies. Oliver also comes with built in hypothermia! This is also definitely a headcanon, but I think that in EF once the rats have the upgraded chips, Chase's laser bō is green instead of blue, and his super senses are togglerable (to a degree) I also like to imagine Kaz's lil bro Kyle is his number one fan and nobody in his family listens to him when he claims that Kaz is one of the bionic guys on the news.

... yeah I think that's enough for now

[leafsbabe]

Serious, scientific question. When SidxNatexReader get married, what's their first dance song? What song do they each request to twerk to? Also, EJ & Gabe would 100% have "first" dances with Nate & Reader because they're so close and that's that. (Maybe Sid too? Idk, you tell me)

engagement wise I think they would get reader a massive rock like they have two nhl salaries they can afford it and even though Sidney would like something more simple Nate is like nope if she can hold her hand up without help it’s too small, but you’re also just getting one ring not one from each, they ask your help picking out rings for each other but they’re definitely gold boys

it’s gonna be the hockey wedding of the century even though it might be a little too much like you just want to marry your partners in peace, nope massive flowers, road blocks, several churches declaring they’d be totally cool with polygamy if you want to go that route, Nova Scotia is so close to just shutting the entire island down because their heroes are getting hitched

as to who gets the legal marriage and who just gets the commitment ceremony you do something like pull pucks from a bag and the matching ones marry but you don’t tell your guests which one is the legal marriage because to you it’s the three of you until the end and nobody is allowed to question it

the playlist is pretty mixed I feel like for the more lovey dovey ceremony part there’ll be a bunch of instrumental covers of modern songs, just keeping it on the classier end but for the party it’s hot girl central somebody better be throwing hockey ass

yes you get railed somewhere between the ceremony and the reception

cake cutting is fun and nobody ruins your hair and makeup because they want you to feel angelic all night, Sid does smash Nate’s face with wedding cake though and the guests lose their shit

there will be roughly 50 speeches, Sid cries at all of them, Nate just holds him and tries to subtly wipe away his own tears while you pat their hands like there there

the og Avs Squad also includes Tboobs (because I think him and Sid played the Olympics together and I needed a third), they choreographed a dance, yes you all get twerked on), EJ was forbidden from wearing his teeth to the wedding

if people think the alcohol bill from the 2011 Boston Bruins Stanley Cup celebration was rough they do not want to see the one for the wedding, you can’t drink any because somebody decided to knock you up the month before

the one other player that booked their wedding for the same weekend had like 2 hockey guests there and that’s it

[syrips]

hello im gonna pin this post

hello my name is Syrips, im a super duper simp and simp/self-insert enabler for others who love strahd or any cos/ravenloft/fictional characters

im 28, but i sometimes say im thirty as a vague response because its easier and faster to say (or safer to say to strangers)

i think i am autistic but i am currently only self-diagnosed; i plan to tell my doctors once i compile a binder of reasons why i think im autistic based on noted events in my childhood, behavior, and my reflected perspective on things in pages of charts and text which is a totally neurotypical thing to do

im genderfluid and i am fine with any and all pronouns (different people may use different/changing/fluid pronouns on me, i am completely fine with this)

im polyamorous and pansexual/panromantic, i gush over games that have polyamory/pan options!!

i have huge CoS/Ravenloft spoilers so please, PLEASe do not enter unless you are fine with being spoiled with all kinds of content. i also wont explain what is or isnt 'canon' because, well, some things may be canon for one person, while potential/not-canon for another, so i really cannot confirm or deny it myself.. ask your DM for confirmation! (and for my players who are here, hehe, goodluck figuring it out!)

i do music, art, crafting, and streaming sometimes, here is my linktree: https://linktr.ee/syrips

please 'ask'/message/send me any and all of your curse of strahd and/or ravenloft works of art! this can include these and more!:

playlists

moodboards

art/portfolio/link to your art or artblog

pages of your OC/PC/dnd lore (both player and DM welcome)

campaign/session notes and storytime

canon and potential-/home-/head-canon dumps

narrations/imagines/ao3/google docs/fanfic/fic writings

cool crafts!!

i crave it more than strahd craves blood, please and thank you!

you can also send me stuff and let me know if you want me to gush/simp over it, provide advice, or simply acknowledge it (publicly or privately)! let me know in advance cuz i dont want to make you uncomfortable with what you share

i have no limits on triggering fictional content, just make sure to tw it properly if it is sensitive content for others

my Ask thingy is always open, i may ramble alot if i get passionate enough though so be warned! hehe

ok goodbye ill edit or change this whenever idk

Edit Entry 1 - 11th Moon, 2023

for context, keita/raze (he/him) is my irl partner. he's been a simp for alucard (castlevania) longer than i've begun simping for strahd. i only discovered this years into the relationship when we watched castlevania (where i expected to be a bigger simp for castlevania), and instead HE made high pitch simping noises as alucard appeared on the screen and i was like -sus eyes- wait a GOSH DARN MINUTE-. also, keita has a thing for necks. i shrugged it off when he first told me, but years later i started simping for strahd and now i look back at that moment like 'hm. odd.-'. anyways, i mostly started dating him because he sounds like a kermit the frog southern guy who goes 'howdy howdy' and he says 'i should be golden' unironically and i think thats pretty funny

i tag stuff as #making a keita tag so when keita presses this he can see all the stuff that he likes so that i can organize stuff and incase he ever decides to poke around my blog and use this tag search within my blog

Edit Entry 2 and 3 - 12th Moon, 2023

syrips OC/PC list (loosely alphabetical)

Other People's Adored OC/PC list (loosely alphabetical)

[solarwynd]

"Whoever goes first will set the expectations for armys and respective solos on how album releases go Without them present so that will be interesting to see”

I very much hope it's not pjm2 bcz I always felt like they used FACE as test to release remix and ship album on time etc. that's why it felt like they used him as a punching bag so that hybe can improve its best for their fav babyboy album. if it's jimin they gonna trail run his release, including armys btw so they can try to improve for next release like the admin or armyonamazon? idk but it was seven7stannies who trail run pandora project for jimin so they can improve b4 jk release, mind u they only started it after jk was spotted with those producers. I really hope it's Q3 Or even next year😭 but not march - may

Tbh I was never fully under the belief that hybe used jimin as a guinea pig. They were never anticipating him to do as well as he did in the first place which is why they left him to sink instead for that very reason. The only area I do believe they improved in relation to jimin was increasing the number of versions and remixes. Out of all the members, I still think jk was still going to be the one get good label aid, it’s just that since they needed a bigger gap between him and jimin they ramped it up.

Jimin’s the wrong member to use as a guinea pig for armys anyway though because he experiences sabotage. You’re not gonna be able to gauge exactly what’s right from what’s wrong because they mess with his numbers without reason. They’re not gonna learn anything. (Th would be a better candidate tbh since his numbers, at least on a global scale, are still good.)

With hybe, I’d definitely say they were more prepared and willing to make sure members who went after jimin weren’t affected. (ex. them not giving prior notice that bb was banning digital sales despite them knowing in advance and letting us buy them for a full month before they *conveniently* put that notice in the online shop for yoongi’s debut.). They even worked very well in tandem with armys for jk’s debut and promptly acted on any discrepancy or grievance in regards to that too.

Now on armys end, they absolutely did use jimin as inspo on pandora because they recognized how well jimin did on there and wanted to replicate it with jk. (Didn’t shake out that way at all lol) But it’s not like they even really needed to “improve.” in general for jk’s release because scooter already had them set. None of armys’ methods really changed from what were already using. They didn’t have to be more crafty with the way the went about ensuring no heavy filtering took place. They barely did much of anything. Scooter introduced that multi cover trick and all they had to do was add them to playlists 20x per each one, and buy.

[sillygooseassociation]

Naughty or Nice

Request(s): this could be for jason or ted , but he dresses up as santa to surprise his kid(s) then after the whole thing y/n gets kinda turned on by him being Santa LMAO! santa foreplay??? maybe?? am i just horny?? idkkkkk?!??!? /// oh wait i think I mean roleplay not foreplay sorry HAHAHA /// okay im really sorry idk anything about sexy time and role playing or foreplaying??? idk HAHAHA i just want Ted or Jason as Santa 😭💔

Description: Dressed as Santa to surprise the kids, Jason is also in for a surprise himself from your reaction to his costume.

Warning: pregnancy, Otis and Daisy included, dirty talk, mentions of riding and masturbation, dirty talk does revolve around santa lol

Pairing: JRU (Jason x reader universe), written in conjunction with rest of JRU but can be read on its own

Word Count: 2.6k words

Holiday Fic Guide

A/N: Okay, yes, I know the gif is Ted and not Jason and they are so fucking different if those headshot differences show us anything. But it's a Christmas fic, specifically one where Jason dresses up as Santa so I HAD to use the Ted season 2 Christmas gif. also not all of these @sarahsardines just for the one request but being in three asks because she was confused, i love you.

-

Opening the oven door, you pull out the tray of sugar cookies, placing it on the cast-iron stove grates before closing the door. A smile spreads across your face as you hear the laughter of Otis and Daisy in the family room, likely in response to something said by Olaf. Your Christmas playlist plays softly in the background of the kitchen and you hum along before taking a sip of your sparkling cider, missing your wine after six long months without it. Checking the time on your phone, you realize that Jason should be back soon and head to the family room, pausing to smile at your two favorite kiddos cuddled up on the couch under a fluffy blanket. “Well don’t you two look comfy!”

The kids turn to you with bright smiles, Daisy jumping up to stand on the couch and Otis holding the blanket open so that you can join, “Mama, will you watch with us?” Daisy nods in excited agreement as your heart sores. As soon as Jason and you told them they were gonna have a younger sibling, they asked what they were allowed to call you if the baby would get to call you mom. The two of you reassured them that you were perfectly fine just being Y/N to them, that it wouldn’t hurt your feelings, but they refused, deciding on Mama for you. After almost four years with Jason, one of those as fiancés, your new title of Mama was your favorite thing to come from it, aside from the little one in your belly of course. 

“I would love to watch with you two, but I think I have a better idea.” The two young kids look at you with suspicion, finding it hard to believe that there’s anything better than watching the movie currently playing on the television, “Better than Frozen?” You shrug your shoulders, turning around the room to leave, “You’re right, decorating cookies does sound boring, I’ll just do it myself…” You’re cut off by loud protests that you laugh at, Otis soon passes you in a sprint to the kitchen as Daisy grabs your hand, “Mama, no! We want to decorate with you, please!” You look down to see her looking up at you with pleading eyes, a strand of her blonde hair falls in front of her vision before you tuck it behind her ear, “Of course, you can do that with me Daisy girl, I would like nothing more than that.” The two of you enter the kitchen where Otis is practically bouncing in place as he sits on a stool at the island, Daisy then climbing up to sit in the spot next to him. You change the playlist to one of their favorite Christmas songs before you pull the different colored frostings out of the fridge.

After about 20 minutes of decorating cookies, which really means 20 minutes of you decorating cookies and fifteen minutes of the kids eating cookies after taking five minutes to decorate one each, you hear a sound from the living room. The rap on the front window catches the attention of the kids, looking at you with confusion as to what was going on, though you simply respond with a shrug of the shoulders, “Hm, who could be here this late on Christmas Eve?” The siblings look at each other with furrowed brows that looked scarily like the brows of their father when he was concentrating. They both let out gasps as lightbulbs seemed to go off simultaneously in their heads, “Santa!” You laugh lightly at their responses as they hop down from their tall chairs before sprinting to the living room, you follow at a slower pace due to the added weight of a six-months-along bump. 

Walking into the living room, you first notice the kids jumping up and down as they cheer at the sight in front of them which was not at all what you pictured, to say the least. Casting your vision up, you see Jason Santa with his forearms propped up on the window sill, pushing his head up into sight as the rest of his body dangles unseen outside, below the view of the window. You cover your mouth to keep in your laughs, what the hell was he doing? Of course he couldn’t actually come down the fireplace, but you just thought that meant he was going to sneak in through the front door and place himself in front of the fireplace before getting the kids’ attention, not…whatever this was. Jason continued to pull himself up but he was still only through up until his pecs, obviously having trouble though you know the kids couldn’t notice. Moving forward, you go to help “Santa” make his way safely into the house, “Here Santa, let me help you out there.” 

But before you could even make it a foot away from the kids, Otis grabs your hand to hold you back and you turn to question him, “Mama, no, Santa’s too heavy, dad said you’re not allowed to pick up anything big.” You hear Jason stifle a snicker, to which you throw him a middle finger behind your back, though you’re unsure if he sees it or not depending on his progress of breaking into his own home. You focus your attention on Otis, who is looking up at you with concerned eyes, damn he really was like his father, wouldn’t let you do anything with Baby Sudeikis in your tummy. You squeeze Otis’s hand before moving to stand in between him and Daisy, turning back so you can watch the extremely entertaining show in front of you, “You’re right buddy, thank you for reminding me. If daddy were here, he would be so proud of you for taking care of your baby sibling and me. Now, let’s watch Santa try to get in here because he was so silly and decided to take possibly the most complicated route into our home.”

Jason looks up at you in faux offense with a cocked eyebrow though it is hidden from the kids by his large white beard that quite frankly, looks incredibly itchy and not in the way you enjoyed when referring to Jason’s facial hair. With one last push against the window sill, Jason successfully enters the house, though he does so by practically throwing himself in. Your laughter finally breaks through as the kids cheer, running up to Santa to ask him questions at what seemed like a million miles a minute. “Why didn’t you come down our chimney?” “Why are you here so early?” “Can we pet the reindeer?” “Our cookies aren’t ready yet, are we gonna get coal now?” Letting out a boisterous and jolly laugh, Jason calms them down and answers their questions, “I wanted to pretend to be a spy. … My watch must be off, I thought you two would be in bed by now! … The reindeer need to take a break right now but maybe you can see some of their cousins at a wildlife sanctuary sometime. … Don’t worry little Miss Daisy, I am so stuffed from all the other cookies right now and it's my fault for being early anyway.”

Daisy lets out a small gasp and grabs tightly onto her father’s hand, “Santa knows my name!” You journey over to the couch, smiling brightly at the interaction between your fiancé and children, of course Jason was the perfect Santa, why wouldn’t he be? He’s the best dad and obviously, he knows how to improvise, but what really touched your heart was the fact that he wanted to do this for the kids. He knew it was only a matter of time before Otis stopped believing in the elusive Saint Nick, and he wanted his son to have a magical moment to seal this chapter of his childhood. Of course Jason wanted to do this, he wanted to do anything and everything for his children and you. Your bright smile turns soft from thinking about the compassion of your partner, how did you ever manage to land him?

You are snapped out of your thoughts as the cheers of Daisy and Otis reverberate off the walls of the Brownstone, quickly putting together that Jason mentioned your agreed-upon plan to give the kids one gift each from Santa now. Looking behind Jason, you notice the red velvet sack that just so happened to be propped up against the wall below the window, whether he left it there and prayed the kids wouldn’t notice or threw it in through the window before doing the same of himself, you had no clue. As Jason turned around to search through the sack, you realized two things in quick succession, one, those red pants, though loose around his body, made his ass look damn good, and two, this character of his right now could definitely be a fun one to mess with. 

As soon as the gifts are handed to the two eager receivers, Jason makes his way over to you, sitting on the edge of the couch next to your spot, “And how about you little lady, have you been naughty or nice this year?” Turning to look at Jason, you cock your head to the side and show him an innocent smile as you cross one leg over the other as gracefully as you can considering your bump, “I’d say 50/50. I’ve been such a naughty girl, but I can also be a good girl, whatever you want, Santa.” Jason gulps deeply, glancing to see that the kids are entranced with opening their presents and exploring them. He looks back to you as his left leg begins to bounce and he folds his hands together suspiciously high in between his thighs, “Is that right?”

You nod sweetly at him before placing your hand high on his right thigh, just under where his forearm is resting, running your nails up and down the covered skin, “Mhm. I love being such a good girl for you, taking care of your kids and carrying your baby. But sometimes Santa works late nights and I just can’t help myself, gotta touch myself until you get home.” Jason squeezes his eyes shut as he drops his chin to the top of his chest, “Jesus fuck.” You laugh at him before scooting closer, Jason unclasping his hands and wrapping an arm around you on instinct, his hands resting on your hip, “I don’t think that’s in the spirit of the season, Santa.” Jason lowly chuckles at your words though you continue before he can say something, “Can I tell you what I want for Christmas, Santa?” Lifting his head, Jason turns to look at you and nods apprehensively, unsure of where you are going. You push your hair back, knowing that the flannel pajama set you were wearing was becoming a bit too small with your growing bump and thus accentuated your also growing breasts, “Do I have to sit on your lap to tell you?” 

Jason’s eyes fall to your spotlighted features, seemingly having a staring contest with them before clearing his throat at what you said, then using his free hand to adjust how his red suit coat was covering his crotch, “N-no, not necessary.” Batting your eyelashes innocently, you catch Jason’s gaze, “I want a pony,” your fiancé cocks his eyebrow before you can continue. As you open your mouth to speak, you bring your hand higher up his thigh, stopping where you know it is at the same level of his tip, only a mere couple of inches from where he wants you, “Well, not necessarily a pony, really just anything I can ride.” 

At that, Jason chokes on his breath before quickly standing up and clapping excitedly to get the attention of the playing kiddos, “Alright you two, I think it's time for Santa to head off, I have lots of presents to deliver tonight. I’ll come back when I know you two are asleep, I’ll just have to look at my phone instead of my watch!” Otis laughs as if Jason just said the most hysterical thing ever, “Santa has a phone?” Jason laughs at his son’s amusement though he also desperately needs to escape the room before you can try anything else, “Well of course I have a phone, how else would I talk to my head elf, Bernard?” The kids hug Santa goodbye before leading him over to where you now stand, “Will you say bye to the baby too? Mama says they can hear now.”

Your heart absolutely sores at how much they care for their younger sibling, and you’re sure Jason’s is doing the same, “I would love to.” Jason puts his hand on his belly just as he does hundreds of times a day, “You have a good night, little one.” The baby kicks against Jason’s hand, seeming to be the only Sudeikis child that recognized the face, or rather the voice, behind the beard. The three of you walk Santa to the front door, the man sheepishly asking if he can leave that way instead of the way he came in. He says goodbye to the kids once more before turning to you, “And good night to you, almost Mrs. Sudeikis.” You knowingly smirk at him, “Night Santa, I’ll see you later when you’re sliding down my chimney.” Jason’s cheeks redden immensely under the beard as he shuffles out the door, Otis and Daisy excitedly discuss what just happened and how excited they were to tell their dad when he got back from the store.

The three of you sat on the couch of the family room, all cuddled up while finishing Frozen when Jason entered the house, dropping a backpack stuffed with a red suit in his office before making his way to the room you sat in, “Hey y’all, anything happen while I was gone?” Otis and Daisy shriek with excitement as they fling themselves off the couch and into the arms of their dad, talking over each other as they tell him every single detail of the celebrity visit that he missed. After 20 minutes of the kids filling in Jason, Daisy laying on his chest as she sat in his lap and Otis snuggled into your side as he sat in between you two, both let out large yawns. “How about we head up to bed? Then Santa can come back with all your presents.” 

Otis and Daisy tiredly nod in agreement with your suggestion, Jason picking Daisy up and heading out of the room with her as you and Otis follow, you moving more slowly up the stairs. After tucking the kids into Otis’s bed, having begged the past week for a Christmas Eve sleepover, you and Jason quietly leave the room, the exhausted duo already beginning to fall asleep. Before you can even suggest a plan for morning preparation, Jason spins you around by your hips, pulling you in for a deep kiss. He backs you against the hallway wall, pushing his thigh in between your legs, which elicits a soft moan from you. As quickly as it began, Jason pulls away as you both catch your breaths, “I’ll go get the presents under the tree, don’t worry about any of that. You just go get ready for bed, okay? Put on something more comfortable.” 

You nod slowly, not out of exhaustion but from already missing his lips on yours, “Mkay.” Jason turns around, heading towards the stairs before turning back to you, “Put on something red for me, baby?” A soft chuckle leaves your lips as you nod, “Anything for you Mr. Claus, you getting me a pony?” Jason shakes his head as he laughs, looking down at his feet as he licks his bottom lip, then looking back up at you, “No, but I’m getting you something to ride.”

[trainingdummyrabbit]

If you were to make an angela playlist, what would be some of the songs you'd include, aside from the mili ones because. yeag. (i have the zoomies Once Again)

No specific number can be anything from 0 to like. idk math is killing me

ENABLING RECOGNIZED Great Question ! :)

i honestly have a lot lot less than i thought i would have but honestly its mostly just bc i listen to the same few over and over and am instantly taken out for a few hours ✌ anyway uhhh these range from I Am Going To Explode to Source Dude Just Trust Me accuracy but im just gonna slap a bunch of songs down. ok 👍

Astral Plans - Bad Suns // Rearview - Bad Suns ok these two were given to me by my friend soundsofastar of soundsofastar fame but theyve haunted me deeply for entirely separate reasons adn they have quickly risen to 'cant listen to these on command' levels of fixation motionsickness which should tell u everything 👍 btw did i mention i have like most of an animatic scripted out for the first one and hwb hdgbd e jsbdjgdbffg--

Terror - Neru you dont get it u dont GET it youdont get it. like ive brought it up before but i cannot express just how much. grabs and shakes. this song has haunted me for fucking ever and it just so happened to perfectly sync up ok. ok. btw did i mention i have like half of an animatic sc

Strobe Light - Shiina Mota ive drawn this one before!!! Im Gonna Fuckign Sob!!!!! <- years-long beloved track

Pale Machine - Bo En looks directly at the camera.

Bloody Mary - Lady Gaga '^w^ haha wouldnt it be funny if--' . 'shit.' anyway songs i wanna make a flipnote to so so badly. pale!angela song Of Ever. fake!fake! - A Crow Is White another childhood favorite song i can barely explain but im grabbing and shaking you. ok. this one is for Me. just listen man source dude trust me man ok listen

ok thankyou shilling over have fun /bows

[lam-ila]

hi hi! here's a collection of all the tag games i've been tagged in during the month of Ramadan

i'm not gonna tag anyone to continue them but if you see any that you wanna do, consider yourself tagged

as always, thank you to everyone for tagging me!

—————

tagged by @pwhl-mybeloved here

shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs that play

Maan Meri Jaan by King feat. Nick Jonas

Why Won’t You Love Me by 5 Seconds of Summer

Rock N Roll McDonalds by Wesley Willis

Overcompensate by twenty one pilots

Heathens / Trees - Livestream Version by twenty one pilots

The 30th by Billie Eilish

Kill My Time by 5 Seconds of Summer

The End. by My Chemical Romance

I Didn’t Change My Number by Billie Eilish

Far Too Young to Die by Panic! at the Disco

—————

putting the rest under the cut bc i'm not gonna be mean and take up that much space on your dash

tagged by @frostysfrenzy here

last song: Implicit Demand for Proof by twenty one pilots

favourite colour: green!

last show/movie: Grey’s Anatomy and Station 19 (back to back which is why i included both)

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet

relationship status: single

last thing i googled: women’s baggy jeans (i need new jeans. mine are literally falling apart)

current obsession: unis to go to for masters degrees (i am no where near the time to apply for masters)

—————

tagged by @jackhues here, @donttelltheelff here, @lifeofpriya here, and @jimmystrudel here

last song i listened to: Implicit Demand for Proof by twenty one pilots

currently watching: lots of sports

currently obsessed with: f1 (thank you mel, kesh, and my cousin for kickstarting this obsession)

—————

tagged by @jimmystrudel here

player that got me into hockey: carey price (i miss him sm)

player you like because of their narrative: arber xhekaj. the dude goes undrafted, worked at costco but skipped his shifts to play hockey, signs with the habs (his favourite team) and is an immediate fan favourite, his brother gets drafted to the habs, he gets sent down to laval, comes back up to the habs and is doing absolutely amazing

goalie/forward/defensemen: i love me some goalies. idk if this is because price was my fist favourite player or because i'm a goalie for soccer (honestly it's probably both) but i absolutely love goalies

player i would let meet my parents: nazem kadri. i mean, he's muslim, my family and i are muslim, so it's an obvious answer

current favourite team: has been and will always be the habs. sens are second bc i used to live in ottawa, and canucks and red wings are sneaking their way up there

—————

tagged by @donttelltheelff here and @introvertedperson16 here

post five song you’ve been enjoying recently!

Overcompensate by twenty one pilots

Next Semester by twenty one pilots

Cottontail by Nep

Homesick by Noah Kahan

east side by Lyn Lapid

—————

tagged by @2manytabsopen here

this fun lil game

yea this is scarily accurate

[echoesofadream]

can i say i think you might be blaming jk too much for this? jk's part is entirely problem-free. idk i honestly think the only problematic thing for jk himself is him not really getting that jack's part isn't just sexual, like he asked for him to make it, it's also problematic. in his interviews, he seems to view the song as being about 'wanting to be with someone you love'. i don't think his own perspective includes jack's, which involved fucking a whole lot of people and is just there to add more explicitness, as jk's own perspective involves dedication to just one person.

they would have to record the song, then ask harlow to write his verse and stick it in. they would have asked for him to be sexual, which is what his lyrics were. from my experience, someone from the east who learned about problematic stuff by interacting with western culture would honestly trust a western artist to not write something problematic.

jk in these songs is not doing anything unfeminist honestly. he's dedicated to pleasing one girl in both songs. both have consent involved, and the second one straight up says, "if you're ready, if you'll let me"

i'm sorry for saying all this in your asks, i just thought from your previous posts that you might get it when others might not.

like I agree but the meaning is pretty clear if you watch the music video? and did you see the tiktok(?) where jk and jack dance/act to that part and jungkook counts one, two, three four with his fingers. like I think if I put out a song in my name, in a language I'm not fluent in, I would want to know the meaning of the lyrics, instead of evading responsibility just because "I didnt know" right? like the music video is a big part of the problem for me. and that pretty much transcends language.

"from my experience, someone from the east who learned about problematic stuff by interacting with western culture would honestly trust a western artist to not write something problematic." im sorry but idk if I get what you mean by this? genuinely btw ofc! im not taking any offense to your ask just to be clear yeah definitely agree that the lyrics from his side arent problematic they're just about sex and giving a girl an orgasm basically. but in the context of the mv and jack Harlows part I feel more icky about it. I dont know if you know this about me but I am a raging misandrist? so men in general are walking on a thin line with me. if theyre going to sing about sex (I prefer when they dont – in fact I prefer when people dont sing about sex like this in general, call me a prude I really dont care so. altho I do have many sexual songs on my "jungkook cover this" playlist but theyre mainly about well theyre different and usually by Kim Petras..) and especially (this is just a personal preference) idont like hearing about heterosexual sex. and like obviously this isnt problematic in its nature (or is it? I havent read enough feminist theory sorry) it's just personally im not gonna dig it like jungkook isnt doing anything wrong singing about these things obviously! im just being a hater on my own blog, not everything I say is valid criticism! just my own feelings about things! I think men should be castrated for less than this in general like those are just my feelings

that said I dislike the trend of jungkooks music in general and on a feminist level, wasnt his last mv about begging a girl to have sex with him? like yeah it was endearing because he was submissive about it the whole time but now this, i dont like it.

dont apologize its totally OK, thanks for the ask! im hard on him because my expectations are so high!