#which is funny cos the last i got sick was the day storm and a spring came out

[synthshenanigans]

Apologies if there's no art for a bit. I caught a cold yesterday so not able to do much rip

[what-is-your-plan-today]

CSI: Rogers and Barnes- The Serious Cereal Serial Killer

Episode 5- Defrosting

Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: So nothing like the possibly one time love of your life being hurt to make you realise that actually, you might just care a little bit… Episode Warnings: Bad Language words.

Episode Pairings:  Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark (The Ice Queen is thawing…)

Song for Episode:  For What It’s Worth by Liam Gallagher

A/N: This entire series contains dark humour (CSI + Brooklyn 99=CSI Steeb) Avengers and Stark Spangled Banner Easter Eggs and jokes. You don’t need to have read the SSB series to understand or enjoy this, but we’ve used the Universe to spin this off from so somethings might puzzle a few of you if you ain’t, but feel free to ask.

Also, our knowledge of American Policing and Brooklyn is limited, so bear with us if we slip up, but at the end of the day this is a fiction so we’ll claim any mistakes as creative license!!

As always we live for re-blogs and comments  

CSI Rogers and Barnes Master List 

Main Masterlist 

“I’m so sorry for your loss…” Bucky bowed his head as he stood next to Steve’s mom.

She dropped her eyes to the floor taking a deep breath.

“I’m alive, jerk.” Steve shot back from where he lay on the hospital bed.

“I was talking about the car, punk.” Bucky shrugged “Or the beard. Man you look like 12 years old without it.” “Not like I had a choice.” Steve grimaced pointing to the line of stitches in the corner of his mouth “And is my car really totalled?” Bucky grimaced and nodded “Fraid it looks that way.” “Shit.”

“Language.” Sarah looked at her son. “Steve, it’s just a heap of metal…”

“No, no bad move, he loved that metal.” Bucky shook his head.

“He should be grateful he is getting away wit cuts and bruising.” Sarah narrowed her eyes “Could have been a hell of a lot worse, he’s been in an out of consciousness for almost 5 hours! I mean what was that idiot doing running the light?”

“It happens Ma.” Steve said gently “He’ll get dealt with.” He rubbed his shoulder which felt a little stiff and then looked up as the Doctor that had been looking after him returned.

“Ok Mr Rogers…your recent scan results show there’s nothing going on with your brain…” Bucky sniggered and Sarah slapped him around the back of the head. “Owww.” he said, reaching up to rub at his hair.

“So if you have someone at home with you, I’m happy you can be discharged.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him for the rest of the evening” Bucky nodded. The Doctor smiled and set about sorting out the forms and in a little while they were making their way, albeit slowly, out of the hospital.

Steve was grateful to his ma and Bucky for getting him home. Once his mother had stopped fussing as much as she could do she finally left with the promise of returning in a few hours and Steve went straight to his bed after popping a few painkillers. He was lucky, it was bruising more than anything, and a few stitches to his face where the glass from the car windows had cut him but all in all nothing too drastic.

He couldn’t help but think back to the last time he’d been injured enough to land him in hospital. They’d been on a drugs bust down town and had gotten separated, and thanks to a catastrophic coms failure he had been ambushed by 6 of the gang at once. He’d managed to get the upper hand at one point until someone had crashed him straight round the back of the head with a piece of wood. Thankfully, it hadn’t been too serious and Katie, Natasha and Clint had stormed in a few seconds later and it was all locked down. Katie had been by his side in the hospital for hours until Peggy had turned up and dismissed her, rather curtly actually. Katie had bitten her tongue and simply left with no fuss, and he and Peggy had ended up having a huge argument.

“I’m your girlfriend, Steven, not her.” Peggy crossed her arms and glared at him as she sat in the chair. “It’s ridiculous how much she hangs around you.” “Peggy, for god’s sake.” he groaned “She came in the ambulance with me!”

“Why not Clint, or Natasha?”

“Oh, you know what, I don’t want to do this now. My head hurts and, well, frankly I’m sick of having the same discussion. She’s my best friend.” “She wants to be more than your friend Steve.” Peggy sighed “Ever since her and Ward split she’s been hanging around like a bad smell.” “She needs support.” Steve shook his head

“She has a brother and god knows how many friends.” Peggy shook her head “But you were the one she called to help her kick Grant out, you changed all her locks…”

“Peg, she’s hurting, and I’m not gonna turn my back on her. She wouldn’t do it to me.” “Bet she can’t wait to get me out of the way.” Peggy sniffed, pursing her lips. “Soon as I’m off to London you mark my words…” “Oh stop being ridiculous.” Steve closed his eyes “Katie wouldn’t do that. And I wouldn’t do it to you either, you know that.” Oh the irony. In the end it had been Peggy that had done it to him. She’d departed to London for the 6 month placement, and they’d both agreed to stay together, what was 6 months after all when you wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone and they wanted to spend the rest of theirs with you?  

Or you thought they did. Less than a month later he had received the message, telling him that it wasn’t working, that she thought he was a burden and a tie to a life she wasn’t sure she wanted anymore. He’d tried calling, even debated getting a flight over to speak to her face to face but she’d point blank refused to even consider it, telling him if he turned up she wouldn’t see him.

So it had ended and he and Katie had navigated their heartbreak together. In bars, taking weekend trips upstate, hiking…anything that took their mind off things. And he dare say now, in hindsight, that it had brought them even closer. He understood now that he and Peggy were never going to make it. They were too different. Peggy was practical, realistic, stoic in every area of her life whereas Steve, whilst all those things when he needed to be, also had a softer side, showed his emotions, wore his heart on his sleeve.

Like Katie.

Breaking up with Peggy at the time had killed Steve, but now he realised that it was for the best. But he also knew that it had really tainted his views of relationships in general, even almost a year or so down the line. And the only person he had been close to since he had pushed away.

With a groan he lay back on his pillow and closed his eyes, thankfully the codeine did its job and he slipped into a dreamless, painless sleep.

****

“Guys…” Bucky said loudly over the chatter in the briefing room. Everyone turned their attention to the front and he noticed a few puzzled glances. It wasn’t unusual for a Sergeant to take the mid-morning briefing in any other Precinct, but it was unusual in the 101. Steve liked to see his troops in the morning, he felt it was only fair. “Captain Rogers won’t be in today, and probably not for a little while. He was involved in a car accident last night and…” “An accident?” Wanda spluttered out. “Is he ok?”

“He’s fine. The car that hit his wasn’t travelling that fast it just unfortunately hit the driver’s side. They checked him over at the hospital and decided he was good to go home late last night, or earlier this morning even. Few cuts and bruises, no doubt some injured pride and his car most certainly isn’t ok but…he’s good, just needs to rest.” He couldn’t help but glance at Katie who was looking down at the table as she bit at her thumbnail. Her brow was furrowed and he could see in her face she was concerned but trying not to show it. Bucky didn’t say anything, simply carved up the duties. Whilst the murder investigation was taking most of the resource, there were still the other crimes to cope with and as such he ended up sending Clintasha to go and speak to the victim of a mugging. But for him and Stark, the morning was slow, real slow. She had already called through to Peralta and arranged for them both to head over there the next morning once he had been able to pull the files from the archive but until they didn’t have much else to go on.

“I just hope looking at the old case throws something up.” Katie said, looking at him “Because if not, we’re dead in the water. No leads, nothing…”

“Let’s worry about that tomorrow.” Bucky said. “Look, why don’t you finish for the day? There’s really nothing we can do now.”

“I just got a few bits to tidy up and then I might do, thanks.” she looked back at her screen.

Bucky kept one eye on her as he continued clearing the admin from his inbox, and he could see that she was grappling with something.

“Have you errr…spoken to Captain Rogers?” she asked a few minutes later. Smiling to himself, Bucky looked up.

“Careful, Stark!” Bucky smiled “You almost sound like you care.”

She scowled, “I’m not a completely heartless bitch.”

“I never said you were…”

“Just because I hate him doesn’t mean I want him hurt…”

At that, Bucky almost fist pumped the air when he realised that actually this could work in Steve’s favour somewhat.

“You don’t hate him.” he said, matter of factly, looking at Katie. “You hate what he did, but you don’t hate him. And that’s what you find so hard to take about this entire situation.”

She paused, open mouthed for a moment, before she snapped her jaw shut and folded her arms, glaring at him. “What are you my therapist now?”

“No, just someone who the pair of you are starting to really piss off…” he sighed and ran a hand dramatically through his hair “Did you ever stop to consider exactly why Steve did what he did?” “Because he’s an ass hole.” Katie said, “He got what he wanted and then…”

“You and I both know that’s bullshit doll face.” Bucky said “He’s never been one for one night stands. Had a few at Uni but, well, frankly he always told me he hated it, but that’s not the point…the point is he cared about you…”

“Funny way of showing it…” “…and he did what he did because he thought, in his stupid pea brain, that it was for the best.” “The best?” Katie snorted “he thought bailing on me, and ghosting me was for the best?” “If you two had made a go of things, one of you would have had to move, and it would most likely have been you because Captain vacancies are harder to find…” “Yeah, I kinda figured that we’d have to do something about the chain of command, but, for fucks sake, I was contemplating going to DC…we could have sorted this, made it work!”

“I get it, I do…but this is Steve we’re talking about!” Bucky chuckled with affection, he was a dumbass but he was still his best friend. “The guy is an idiot when it comes to women and very rarely lets his heart rule his head…but with you he did. And that shows me just how much you mean to him.”

Katie looked down at her hands, her fingers were twisting around one another. After a little while she looked up and shook her head “That doesn’t make what he did ok.” “No, and I’m not trying to make excuses for him.” Bucky said gently “Just trying to give you the explanation you’re not allowing him to give to you himself.”

Katie turned away from him and wiped at her eyes. Bucky was tactful enough to look away whilst she composed herself.

“If you wanna go and check in on him I know he’d appreciate it.” he said, sowing the seeds of the idea in her mind. “Just think about it.”

She shrugged, but there was a definite softer expression on her face as she turned back to her computer.

About half an hour later Bucky came back from the bathroom to find her gone. Tacked to his monitor was a post-it note.

“Thought about it…thanks Buck.” “Don’t blow it Punk…” he mumbled to himself as he re-read the note before scrunching it up and throwing it in the bin, a huge smile playing on his face as he laced his fingers behind his head, swinging his feet up onto his desk.

“What you looking so smug about?” Natasha asked and he looked over to see he was being watched by her and Clint.

“Well…” he said, leaning back in his chair “Seems that the stupid Punk getting t-boned made Katie realise that she actually still cares about him. So Phase 1 of ‘Operation Cap’n Crunch and Special K” is officially underway. Time to prepare Phase 2 Romanoff.”

“Wait, Phase 1 was getting someone to T-bone him?” Natasha looked at Bucky, her mouth open.

“What?” Bucky frowned as Barton looked at him.

“That’s just sick man…” Clint pointed at him before he frowned and looked at Nat “hang on, what plan?” “Oh after I spoke to her yesterday, I talked to Serge and we decided that we’re fed up of the pair of them moping around and pretend hating each other, when they’re both blatantly still head over heels despite their protestations to the contrary.” Nat shrugged “So we came up with a 3 step plan, of which the first phase, I thought, was simply making them talk…”

“Yeah, and I was gonna lock them in a cupboard or his office until they agreed to do so but hey, I’m all for grabbing the moment, right? This worked a treat” Bucky said, grinning at them both.

“So what’s Phase 2?” Clint asked. Natasha arched an eyebrow and grinned at him.

“Wait and see Barton, wait and see.”

Clint blinked, looked at Natasha who now had a devilish grin spreading across her face an then back to Bucky who was smirking into his coffee cup.

“Man I love you guys!” Clint said with a small laugh as he leaned back in his chair.  

***** “Ma for the last time stop fussing…” Steve looked at his mom as she set a mug of coffee down on the table in front of him.

“I’m your mother, Steven…” she looked at him. “It’s my job to fuss. Now, what do you fancy for dinner?” He was just about to tell her he was capable of dialling a pizza when he heard the key in the lock and glanced at his watch, frowning. It was early for Bucky to be home.

“Buck?” he questioned. But the reply wasn’t what he was expecting, or who he was expecting for that matter.

“No, it’s errr, me.”

Steve looked at his mother whose face had lit up at the sound of Katie’s voice and he pushed himself up of the sofa, hissing a the bite of pain in his side and turned to see her stepping nervously into the living room.

“How did…” he asked and she looked at him, sheepishly, holding up her keys.

“Never did give it you back.” she said softly. He watched as her eyes travelled over the bruising and cuts on his face and her brow furrowed somewhat as she swallowed thickly and continued “Thought you might have changed the locks, you know like you did for me when I threw Grant out.” “Not really the same thing.” he said with a soft smile. “But I’m surprised you kept it.” “It was on my keyring.” she said, shrugging “I kinda forgot about it, should have mailed it to you or something…” Steve could tell that wasn’t the truth. There’s no way she would have forgotten about it, but he didn’t pick her up on her white lie. The fact she had kept it made him slightly hopeful she wasn’t quite as ready to give up on him as she made out.

“Hi Sarah…” she said in a small voice, her gaze turning to his ma.

“Oh my little star…” Sarah hurried over to give her a warm hug before she held her at arms length “Let me look at you…I love the hair!” “It’s grown a little.” Katie smiled, running her hand through her hair, the longer side was now an inch or so below her chin.

“How have you been?” Sarah pressed.

“Oh, you know…” she shrugged “Ok.”

Sarah smiled at her and then over at Steve before she nodded. “Well I was just about to head out to the store to pick something up for tonight.” “Ma, I told you…” “And I told you to shut up.” She shot him a look “Does carbonara suit?”

Steve sighed “Yeah, that’s great…” “Ok, so, I’ll be back in a little while…” she said, rushing for her purse.

“Hang on I’ll get my wallet…” Steve made to move and she shook her head

“I don’t want or need your money.” she said sternly. Again he rolled his eyes and noticed a smile on Katie’s face.

His ma made to hug her again “If you’re not here when I get back, you best stop by some time…oh, did he give you your pie the other night?”

“He did and it was amazing as always!” Katie smiled, giving her another hug “And I will, I promise.” With that his mom left them alone, and once the door was shut Katie turned back to him and looked him up and down as she raised an eyebrow “You look like you got in a fight with a bus.” “Not quite, it was a chevvy Blazer.” he said, chuckling slightly at her joke.

“How are you feeling?” “I’m ok, just a bit sore. Be fine in a few days.” She nodded “Ok, well, that’s all I wanted to check…when Bucky said you’d been hurt I just…” she trailed off, taking a deep breath before she sighed, “God why is this so awkward?”

Steve gave her a soft smile “Because I fucked it up?” She gave a soft huff of a laugh.

“Do you want a drink?” he offered “Ma just made a fresh pot of coffee so…” “I err, I don’t…” she looked at her watch, biting her lip. Steve could tell she was searching for a reason to say no so he decided to put her out of her misery.

“It’s fine, honestly.” he said, “You don’t have to make excuses not to stay. I appreciate you popping in.” She licked her lips and looked at him, her green eyes searching his before she smiled softly “Coffee’s great, you stay where you are. I’ll get it.”

“Everything’s in the same place…” he said softly and she nodded. But she didn’t move straight away. Instead he noticed her eyes flickering to the space by the TV where the photo of the two of them used to be.

“It’s in the bedroom.” he said. She looked at him, blushing slightly that she’d been caught but didn’t try and deny what she’d been thinking.

“I’m not gonna lie, my copy is in a drawer.” she replied quietly “I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away but…” She swallowed and headed into the kitchen. He slowly sat back down and he heard her clinking about before she emerged with a mug. She placed it on the coffee table, removing her keys and phone from her pocket before she tossed those just to the left of her mug and took a seat on the sofa, picking up her drink and cradling it in both hands, the way she always did when she was seeking comfort.

“Has the station fallen to pieces yet?” Steve asked and she snorted.

“Not quite.” she smiled “To be honest it’s a bit slow. Oh, erm, I’m going to see Peralta tomorrow with Bucky, dig through the files on the old rape case. I know it’s just a hunch but something feels off.” “Well your instincts have never failed you before.” Steve smiled gently.

She smiled and shrugged “Who knows?” “Stop it.” Steve said.

“Stop what?” She frowned

“Doubting yourself.”

“I’m not.” “Yes you are I can tell. You always do it.” “No I don’t.” Steve chuckled and then winced at the pain in his side “Yes you do. And you’ve no reason to. You’re a damned good detective.”

She took a sip from her drink and looked down before she opened her mouth as if to say something but then closed it. She took a deep breath and swallowed, her eyes remaining on the floor.

“Use your words Doll.” he said, softly.

“I don’t want another argument.” she said quietly. “It doesn’t matter…” “Katie.”  he urged, his voice almost stern.

“I just… “ she licked her lips “I was just thinking that, well, I can’t remember the last time we did this, you know, drank coffee in your lounge.” “I can tell you exactly when it was.” he said “It was the morning of the Christmas party. About 12 hours before I sent everything sideways.”

She looked at him, before she looked away and Steve felt a pang in his chest that was totally unrelated to his accident. He yearned for her, longed for the way things used to be before he’d fucked it all up.

“I never thought you would be the man that I cried myself to sleep over.” she said so quietly he almost missed it.

As she placed the mug back on the coffee table Steve took a shaky breath “It wasn’t easy for me either you know?” he looked at her, blinking back his own tears “I hurt too.” “Yes but you did it to yourself Steve!” she said, running her hands over her face

“You think I don’t know that?” he said, his voice a little louder “If I could change it, go back and do it differently I would but I can’t…”

“Bucky told me why you did it, that it was your stupid idea of being noble.” she cut him off, her voice soft as she shook her head “Frankly I’ve never heard anything as ridiculous in my life…all that stuff and panic about getting involved in someone in your chain of command…Steve, I had had feelings for you for a long time before that, do you think for one second that I never considered what it would mean? Fuck, I’d just told you I was considering the DC move, I’d have been well out of your chain then!”

“I should have talked to you, I get that…I do” he pressed “I was an idiot and I panicked and then I didn’t want anything to stop you moving or getting in your way and tying you back here..”

“You thought I’d do a Peggy?” she looked at him, frowning, as if she was understanding something for the first time, which in fairness she probably was. “That I’d move and things would end”

He didn’t reply, he knew that one look in his eyes would be enough to tell her. She always knew.

“Steve, what Peggy did was cruel. The way she left and then ended it, calling you a burden and a tie she didn’t need…I’d never have done that.”

“I know.” he said softly “I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you weren’t.” She shook her head before she spoke again, her voice cracking slightly. “You know what the worst thing about all this is?”

One look at her was enough to tell him she was struggling to keep herself controlled, he could see from the way her chest was heaving and she was stuttering for words.

“I can’t hate you.” she shrugged “No matter how much I try, and believe me I tried, I just can’t. I wanted so hard not to care when Bucky told me you’d been hurt, but all I could think about was making sure you were ok.”

She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath as her tears began to fall. She looked up and he saw her before him, as utterly broken as he had ever seen her. Her face crumpled and she stuttered to him. “I miss you. I miss my best friend.” With that he felt a tear slide out of his own eye and he moved from his chair onto the sofa besides her, pulling her to him, ignoring the aches and pains in his battered body. She didn’t shy away, instead she pressed her face into his chest, her arms linking round his waist at the back as his hands gently slid up and down her back, soothing her as he had done so many times before.

“I’m sorry.” he managed to stutter “I really am…I never wanted to hurt you sweetheart, I swear…”

He pulled her tighter to him and then instantly winced as the pain in his ribs. She pulled back straight away and looked at him.

“Steve…”

He felt a little light headed then, and it must have shown as she frowned a little.

“Hey, you look really pale.” she said, concern etched across her pretty face “Don’t pass out on me…” “I’m fine, honestly…” he protested. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I errr…” he shrugged, scrunching his eyes shut. “Yesterday, some point. Mac and Cheese.” “You made Mac and Cheese?” she said as a twitch in the corner of her mouth grew into a small smile. “Sorta, well, opened the box…”

“Mac and cheese, from a box.” the smile went and she looked horrified “Steven that is disgusting. I showed you like a million times how to make it properly.” “Yeah well it never comes out as well as yours so…” he blinked again and took a deep breath. No, he definitely felt dizzy.

“You need to lie down.” she said, standing up.

“I’m fine…” he protested, but she wasn’t fooled. She never was fooled by his bullshit. “Stop being a stubborn asshole and do as you’re told.” she said sternly as she grabbed a throw cushion and positioned it against the arm of the sofa. “Go on.” she patted it gently and he slowly moved himself backwards, laying his head where she told him.

“Just need to close my eyes for a moment…” he muttered, and he did.

************

Steve blinked and stirred a bit. He was tired and his ribcage ached. He opened one of his eyes and saw Katie sitting on the armchair beside the couch, her shoes discarded and her legs tucked underneath her as she was reading something on her phone. A warm feeling filled his chest and he closed his eye and smiled at the thought that she was still there, looking after him, keeping him company even though he was sure she’d rather be anywhere else. She had said earlier she had missed him, she had missed her best friend. If only they could go back to the way they were. He was snapped from his thoughts by the sound of keys in the door before it opened, shut and his mother’s shoes tapped down the hallway.

“Shhhh” he heard and opened one eye again, ever so slightly, to see Katie moving her right index finger to her lips and pointing her head at him, where he lay on the couch holding onto a yellow cushion for dear life.

“Is he asleep?” Sarah asked in a hushed voice.

“Apparently” Katie answered, and he didn’t miss the fond look she shot his way. “He was feeling dizzy and I forced him to lie down and rest. I didn’t want to leave him alone so I thought I’d wait for you or Bucky to come back.” she added as if trying to excuse herself for being there.

“Good. Thanks for looking after him.” the old woman smiled at her fondly. And then Steve decided he should make them aware he was awake.

“I wasn’t dizzy.” Steve suddenly said with a hoarse voice.  He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up so fast all his body was in pain and he grimaced again.

“Steven!” Sarah scolded him. “Be careful, love. Have you taken your painkillers?”

“Yes ma.” he answered. “Took them before you left.”

She nodded and smiled at her son and then turned to Katie “And you, my dear, are having Carbonara with us this evening?”

"Sarah, I don’t want….” Katie started but Sarah cut her off.

“I wasn’t asking Star.” she said “It’s the least I can do after you looked after this mad driver I have for a son. Besides, you’re helping me fix it, we have a lot to catch up on.”

“Wait Ma! I’ll help you with those” Steve said as his mother turned to head for the kitchen, taking a shopping bag in each hand.

“No. Stay put. I’m perfectly able to do it myself, Stevie. You rest until dinner’s ready.” she refused her son’s offer.    

Katie stood up and sighed. “I’ll better go help her.” she said before smiling at him and ruffling the hair on the top of his head softly, and God that was a balm to his soul. Such a familiar action she had done so many times before, but yet never had it felt so significant as it did then. The ghost of a grin threatened to spread on his face at her show of affection but it was quickly turned into a grimace as she tugged on the longer locks at the top of his head.

“Ouch!” he exclaimed and Katie, who was heading for the kitchen turned to look at him and grinned.

“Serves you well for letting them shave you.”      

“I was kind of unconscious so I didn’t have much of a choice” he looked at her “And besides, they had to stitch my lip.” he shrugged innocently.

“Whatever.” she said over her shoulder walking towards the kitchen.

Steve leant against the back of the sofa, closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh. Was it him or was the ice queen beginning to thaw?

He must have dozed off again, but that stupid grin was clearly on his face as he was jerked back to the here and now by another voice about 15 minutes later.

“Are you high?” he heard Bucky ask him. Steve opened his eyes to see a smug smile on his friend’s face who was examining the packet of painkillers the doctors had prescribed him.    

“Jerk.”

“I love you too, honey.” Bucky grinned at him and frowned when he heard the two female laughs coming from the kitchen.

“Is that…?” Bucky asked squinting his eyes at Steve and he nodded.

“She came by this afternoon. Ma invited her for dinner.” he said.

“Well, this is getting interesting.” Bucky smirked, tossing the packet of painkillers down onto the table “Very interesting indeed.”

Steve didn’t miss the cunning smile on his friend’s face as he turned and headed for the kitchen.

“Buck.” Steve warned him, but Bucky was already gone. He came back a few minutes later drinking a beer and sat sprawled on the armchair beside the couch and Steve cast a longing look at the bottle.

“Don’t even think of it.” he said mocking Steve’s captain voice “You’re not allowed to drink a single drop of alcohol on those things.”

Steve groaned took the TV remote and started channel-hopping until he found a film that caught his attention.

“Why does Superman wear a cape? I don’t get it. What’s with making superheroes look like idiots with those spangly tight outfits?” Bucky began to rant but Steve ignored him.

Bucky side eyed him for a moment, before he smirked to himself. “Sooo. I guess you and your girl are on better terms now, seeing as she still hasn’t torn your head off.”

“She’s not…”

“Your girl. Hmmm, yet you wanted to punch me in the face for buying her lunch.” Bucky finished for him. “You’re smiling, just saying pal.” he added pointing at him with his beer bottle before turning to the TV screen again. But as he gave Steve another side glance, he could see the blonde was smiling again.

Twenty minutes later Katie emerged from the kitchen cleaning her hands with a tea towel.

“Dinner will be ready in five, so move your asses and help me lay the table.” she said standing in front of the TV screen, hands on the buckle of her belt.

“Yes, Mrs. Captain.” Bucky sat up mocking a salute.

Kate shot him a glare and both turned to watch as Steve was struggling to stand up from the couch with a pained expression to no avail.

“Here, hold on to us.” Bucky offered reaching one of his arms out for Steve to hold at the same time Katie approached the coach and offered hers. But they couldn’t lift his weight.

“Come on, man. Are you on our team?” Bucky asked between gritted teeth.

“Just represent. Pull!” Steve bit back.  And with that they were able to lift the Captain’s weight and haul him upright.

“Are you ok? Are you still dizzy?” Katie asked Steve while she rubbed his arm.

“I’m fine, doll. Thanks.”

Bucky flinched waiting for Katie’s outburst at the pet name, but when nothing came he just raised an eyebrow at the pair but they were too busy looking at one another to notice him. He just smiled, shaking his head. He had to remember to text Romanoff later.

“Ok, pal. Lean on me, I’ll walk you to the dining room.” Bucky said ducking under Steve’s armpit and putting his friend arm over his shoulder while holding his waist with his free hand. “We are your sidekicks after all.”

“Yeah, just like Mulder and Scully you two.” Steve scoffed.

“Thought it was Cagney and Lacey?” Katie, who was walking ahead of them, turned to quip.

Soon after the table was ready and Sarah had finished fixing a salad to go with the Carbonara. She passed the bowl to Katie who placed it at the centre of the table and all four sat to enjoy the food. But as Bucky was about to take a breadstick Sarah slapped his hand.

“What’s with people slapping my hands?” Bucky protested

“Have you washed your hands, young man?” Sarah asked.  "God only knows where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing.”

“Or who.” Katie muttered under his breath and shared a smile with Steve who was sitting opposite her. He grinned back.

“Yes, I did ma'am.” Bucky answered, taking the breadstick from the bread basket and biting it unceremoniously.

“Are you going to tell us where you’ve been all day?” Steve asked looking at him while he helped himself to some salad.

“Playing Captain Dickhead.” he quipped.

Sarah, who had just stood up to go find a pitcher of water, smacked him on the back of his head.

“Language!” the old lady said and Katie couldn’t help but snigger.

“Ouch!” Bucky dropped the fork on the plate and rubbed the back of his head as he looked at Steve “Doing your job, buddy. Which I must say I did beautifully.” he added with a smug smile.

“Well, he didn’t burn the station down.” Katie shrugged.

“Chasing the bad guys. Looking after your herd.” Bucky continued.

“We’re not goats.” Katie scoffed.

“That is debatable, honey.” Bucky said pointing at her with his fork and Steve smiled at the bickering between the two. “And I met a friend later.” he added casually.

“Oh, anyone nice?” Sarah asked excitedly as she returned with the water.

“Don’t encourage him Ma.” Steve shook his head.

“You could say that.” he looked at Sarah smiling before adding “Name’s Sammy, we’re not a thing yet.”

Steve saw Katie stop eating and try to catch Bucky’s eye but he was avoiding her purposefully. After a second or two she gave in and stood up.

“I’ll fetch the Carbonara, pass me your plates.” she said holding out her hand at Bucky and looking at him intently. He shot her another passive look, but there was a faint tinge of red in his cheeks and as Steve watched Katie smirked, knowingly, before she collected the other plates.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” Sarah said to Katie as she headed to the kitchen. “And James, make sure you treat your dame right.” he said looking at him before raising an eyebrow at her son.

“Will do.” Bucky said looking at the woman at the same time he reached for his water glass.

“You’re not a thing? Yet?” Steve asked Bucky leaning an arm on the back of the chair to look at him directly.

“Nope.” he replied, not wanting to go into many details.

“But you could be?”

Bucky shrugged.

“What are you waiting for?” Katie asked placing a pasta plate in front of Sarah.

“Just leave him alone.” Sarah said patting Katie’s hand. Katie shrugged and dropped another plate in front of Bucky before returning for her and Steve’s.

“Thifif delishos” Bucky grunted with his mouth full of food.

“Thank you, I guess. Did you mean the food was delicious?” Sarah laughed and Bucky nodded.

“It is good, thanks.” Steve said, nodding appreciatively.

“It should be after feeding on mac and cheese from a box. Did you know that?” Katie asked Sarah, who nodded resigned and shook her head.

“What’s wrong with box mac and cheese?” Bucky looked up.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s disgusting!” Katie said, affronted.

“Katie cooks the best Mac and cheese you’d ever taste.” Steve told Bucky before he shot her a wink as he refilled her glass with water.

“Thanks, Stevie.” she smiled back softly.

Bucky couldn’t help but grin. “STEVIE?”  he mouthed to Sarah who nodded at him, smiling knowingly.

For Steve it was like he had been taken back to before everything went wrong. Sitting with his Mom, Katie, eating dinner…with the addition of Bucky this time. It was nice. The 4 of them ate, chatting, there was no arguing, no frosty moments. Ok, it wasn’t as easy as it had been once upon a time but still, this was progress. And he wasn’t taking it for granted.

Eventually his mother announced it was late and that she should be going. Much to Steve’s disappointment, Katie checked her watch and nodded in agreement.

“I’ll walk down with you Sarah.” Katie said “Tony’s already bitching about me treating his place like a hotel. If I’m much later home he’ll probably threaten to Ground me or something…”

Bucky and Steve both sniggered as Sarah looked at Katie.

“If he’s annoying you that much you can always come stay with me love.” she said and Katie grinned.

“You’d feed me that much apple pie and banana bread I’d be the size of a house.” “Well you do look like you need feeding up….have you been eating properly in DC?” “Ma stop it.” Steve sighed as Katie laughed.

“I’m promise you I eat as much now as I always have.” she assured the woman as they both stood up. “As you’ve just seen. I look like I’m having a food baby.”

Bucky and Steve both rose along with them, Bucky hugging Katie whilst Steve gave his mom a squeeze.

“Don’t blow this…” she hissed into his ear.

“I’ll try not to.” he replied gently.

She stepped back and Steve turned to Katie. Bucky and Sarah were tactful enough to move away to the door, talking loudly to give them some space.

“Think the polar ice caps are melting…” Bucky mumbled to Sarah who smiled as she watched Katie slip her arms round Steve’s waist.

“None so blind as those who will not see.” Sarah mused back.

“Aint that the truth…” Bucky said.

As her arms connected at the base of his back, the familiar fit of her body against his made Steve close his eyes as he gently hugged her back, dropping an affectionate kiss to the crown of her head as he always had done.

“Thank you.” he said softly, “for coming round and…” “It’s ok.” she said, she stepped back and licked her lips and took a deep breath “Look, Steve, I can’t promise everything can go back to like it was before but…maybe we can move forward right?”

“Forward’s good for me doll.” he assured her.

She smiled and turned towards the door. “See you tomorrow Bucky.” “Yeah later Doll Face…” he said to her retreating back.

The two men watched as she paused momentarily, took a deep breath before she held up her right hand and flipped him off over her shoulder, without so much as a look back.

Bucky let out a bark of a laugh and Steve chuckled as the door shut.

@the-omni-princess  @momobaby227 @geekofmanythings16 @angelofhell-666 @thewackywriter @marvelfansworld  @cobalt-gear  @asgardlover75 @jennmurawski13  @jtargaryen18 @saiyanprincessswanie  @navispalace @patzammit  @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @djeniiscorner  @ayamenimthiriel  @coldmuffinbanditshoe  @disneylovingal @madzmilllz  @sgtjaamesbaarnes​ @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @southerngracela​ @goldenfightergir​ @kellymat​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @charmed-asylum​ @pagesoflauren​

[currently-in-fanfiction-hell]

Days at the Hunter Base, CHAPTER 5: The Zero Fanclub (originally from my Quotev account)

It was a normal day at Hunter Base.

Too normal, in fact.

Despite it being so long since the last major Maverick incident, X, Zero and Axl still weren't used to the peace and quiet. Funny, since that's what the Hunters strive for, but they'd become so accustomed to the havoc that peace seemed to worry them.

So whenever an opportunity comes by for them to do anything at all, they'd take it up, in this case, it was going grocery shopping for Dr. Cain.

"Man, ever since when did we become his personal caretakers?" Axl stretched his arms out, all that shopping tired him out, all of them never expected a grocery list to be so long, in fact, they were taking a break at a nearby cafe, they were that tired.

"Axl, it's not his fault that his actual caretaker turned out to be sick with the flu, besides, it's not like he'll be able to manage all of this grocery shopping by himself, be considerate." X scolded him.

"Besides, you told us that you wanted to tag along, so it's not like you didn't have a choice, so stop complaining." Zero added, "At least it's all over now, all we need to do is drop this off at his place, right?"

"Yep," X nodded, "I haven't visited him in a while, so I hope you don't mind if we stick around a bit longer."

"No problem at all." Zero said, then he proceeded to look at Axl with a stern gaze, "Right, Axl?"

"R-right!" Axl stuttered, while he'd been a Maverick Hunter for long enough to get used to Zero's glares, they still, and always felt...intimidating.

"Great!" X smiled, "Let's not keep him waiting."

_______________________________________________

They proceeded to walk out of the cafe, enjoying the nice afternoon breeze, when suddenly...

"OHMIGOSH!!! IS THAT ZERO?!" The high-pitched squeal of a teenage girl was a complete surprise to all of them, a moment later, a young, female Reploid ran up to them, or to be more specific, she ran up to Zero.

"Ohmigosh, are you really Zero?!" Her squealing became even more high-pitched, to the point where it sounded like she practically lived on helium.

She was bouncy, energetic, and couldn't stop fidgeting, she was also sweating all over.

And they thought Axl was energetic, this was a whole new level.

"Uhhhh...Yes...?" Zero responded rather cautiously, he was used to getting attention from journalists and the press, but for all of...this to come out of a young teenage Reploid?

...Wait, he thought, oh, great, not one of those again...

The girl's grin grew even wider, if that was even possible, "OHMIGOSH! IT REALLY IS!!!" she then motioned a signal to something behind her, yelling, "GIRLS! IT'S HIM! IT'S REALLY HIM!! COME HERE!!! WE FOUND HIM!!!!"

...a whole group?! 

X and Axl proceeded to back away slowly, but unfortunately for Zero, he wasn't able to do the same, a storm of teenage girls (both humans and Reploids) came out of an alley and ran up to him, bombarding him with squeals, questions, and adoration.

"I LOVE YOU, ZERO!!!"

What?

"KISS ME, ZERO!!!"

Huh?!

"ZERO!!! SIGN MY FANFIC!!!"

F-fanfic?!

Zero's face just stayed in a state of shock, this wasn't the first time he met someone like this, but to see so many in one place... it was overwhelming, to say the least.

X was watching this disaster unravel before his very eyes, his face in a state of pure horror, someone needed to help Zero, but X was the one carrying the groceries, which meant he had to choose between helping him or keeping the groceries safe, being the good person (or Reploid) he was, he dropped the groceries on the ground and ran up to help his best friend.

"Take care of the groceries for me!" X called out to Axl, who quickly grabbed the bags, without thinking, he rushed to where Zero was and grabbed his arm, Zero, who was understandably sweating bullets by now, turned around and saw Axl mouthing the words, "Follow me!" they looked at X, who nodded, knowing what to do.

_______________________________________________

While Zero and Axl ran from the angry crowd, X tried desperately to calm them down, before the angry teenagers could chase Zero down, X blocked their way, the entire crowd stopped and went quiet.

Thing is, now he couldn't tell whether he made things better or worse.

The Reploid leading the pack clenched her fists, "Grrrr.... LET US SEE ZERO!" She yelled, the rest of the pack raising their fists in the air.

X would rather be anywhere else right now, but he learnt from experience that you'd have to stay calm if you want to handle hyperactive teens.

X sighed deeply, then said as clearly and sternly as possible, "Not until all of you explain yourselves." he paused, "I don't want to resort to violence, but I will if absolutely necessary, so can all all of you co-operate with me?" He took another deep breath and hoped that things would slowly resolve peacefully-

"HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE WITH OUR PLANS OF MEETING ZERO?!" One of them yelled, the others shouted simillar things in agreement.

They started trying to push past him, but he somehow managed to keep them from going on a rampage.

...Unfortunately, life, as he should've figured out ages ago, was never that simple.

_______________________________________________

MEANWHILE...

_______________________________________________

The two were escaping the crowd so quickly that it was all a blur to Zero, all he knew was that he needed to run, fast.

Eventually, they found a hiding spot in an alley, Axl put down the groceries that he had held in one hand, the other he had used to hold Zero's hand as they were running away.

After a few moments of catching their breaths, Axl turned to look at Zero and said, "Zero, I've never seen you like this before, you'd usually keep your cool around admirers, but I've never seen you- well, you know what I'm talking about."

"Well... yeah, I would, but there's just...so many of them." He panted, still exhausted from running.

"Heh, I suppose so." Axl said, "Y'know, Zero, to be honest, I think it's kinda obvious that you'd have obsessive fangirls stalking you."

"Hm? What's that supposed to mean?" Zero asked, what was so special about him? He was just another Hunter doing his job, that was all.

"Eheh, Zero, it's actually kinda suprising that you don't know." he said,  "You've just got those qualities that fangirls seem to love."

"O-okay..." Zero stammered, he didn't know why he was the one people seemed to be attracted to, and he didn't care, he just hoped that X could manage the mob all by himself.

What was he thinking? Of course X could manage it, if he managed to defeat Sigma multiple times by himself, then of course he could manage a crowd of screaming fangirls.

"...Hello? EARTH TO ZERO!" Axl yelled, Zero immediately snapped out of his thoughts.

"Zero, this is no time to be zoning out!" Axl told him, "We'll need to get back out there before X becomes roadkill!"

"Yeah, you're right." Zero said, "I don't want to give him any more trouble than I already have, besides, I think I've calmed down a little." He paused, looking at Axl, "So? Hurry up, we don't want to keep him waiting, do we?"

"Y-yeah, right!" Axl grabbed the grocery bags and quickly followed behind Zero, he hated being rushed, but it was understandable in this case.

_______________________________________________

Eventually, Zero and Axl caught sight of X, who was currently holding back against the tackle of an angry fangirl (and resisting the pull on one of his feet thanks to another), they stopped and let go at the sight of the two other Hunters.

"Zero, Axl! Thank goodness both of you are back! I was really worried about you two, plus I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold b-" X was interrupted by heaps of incomprehensible screaming, "ZERO!!! OHMIGOSH, I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU DECIDED TO COME BACK! CAN YOU TAKE A SELFIE WITH ME?!"

X yelled out loudly enough for the two Hunters to just barely hear him, "I'm sorry, Zero! I tried reasoning with them, but I think they'll only listen to you!"

"It's alright, X, I'll handle this." Zero stepped forward, the fangirls were  getting closer, "Okay, can any of you explain this?" He said as sternly as possible, something he was thankfully very good at.

One of the fangirls stepped in front, she seemed to be a mixture of shy, anxious, nervous and timid at the same time, she might've been the most sane of the crowd, "'Uh, Ummm, w-where do I start?! Uh, it's just t-that we're all your biggest fans. a-and w-we started a club dedicated to fangirling, all a-about you, of course," she was getting red in the face, obviously embarrassed, "I-it started off with just t-talking about you and writing s-silly fanfiction, but over time. we started doing m-more, ummm, questionable things, like..." Her voice trailed off, "Like...what?" Zero asked, not realizing that he had probably made one of the worst mistakes in his life, he could hear Axl give him a sigh of disapproval in the background and X backing away slowly.

The girl was a stuttering mess by now, the words at the tip of her tongue, but they wouldn't come out, perhaps it was for the best, Zero thought.

"You don't have to, it's fine, if it makes you feel that uncomfortable, then you should stop." he said, everyone sighed a breath of relief, Zero was glad that he dodged a bullet there.

"Anyway, I suppose I should ask you, how'd you manage to know where I was?" He asked, hoping that it was just stalking, and nothing else-

"Um- uhhhh.... I-we...ermmm..." her face was getting hot and sweaty, and was almost, if not redder than Zero's armor, suddenly, one of the fangirls from the crowd raised her voice.

"It was only a matter of stalking, sheesh, why are you such a mess?"

Someone else spoke up, "...And in order to do that, someone thought it was a good idea to break into Maverick Hunter HQ."

The club leader was getting red in the face, "H-hey!  It's not l-like we had any other options! Besides, it w-was a decision we a-all agreed on!"

The timid fangirl, the first to speak up inhaled, and then said, "No, it wasn't!  You FORCED us to agree! And even then, only two others volunteered for the break-in!"

Axl decided to speak up, "Besides," he said, "Wasn't there a better, more sane option? Wouldn't any normal human being- or Reploid just, I dunno, walk up to the nearest person and ask, 'Hey, do you happen to know where Zero was headed?' You know, something that DIDN'T involve breaking the law?"

"NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, LOSER!' The club leader screamed.

"Okay, I just want everyone to stop," X raised his voice, "Can we just talk it out without a second of shouting?"

"..."

"Alright," Zero continued interrogating the group, "So you broke into Hunter Base, and how'd you find out where I was?"

"Oh, we broke in, grabbed some purple-haired Navigator chick by the neck and asked where you were headed." 

Purple-haired Navigator... could it have been... Layer?!

"Y-you what?!" All three of them were shocked beyond any further wording.

One of the fangirls also decided to speak up, "You almost got arrested there! We saw it all through the side window!"

"But at least we didn't!" The club leader yelled, her sapphire eyes giving an angry glare.

Finally, X decided to get his point across, "So, what I'm getting here is that you broke into HQ without any sort of authorization and threatened a Navigator who had little to nothing to do with this, on the chance that she knew Zero's location, that's punishable by law!"

"Yeah!" Axl joined in, "You could get arrested by the police at any time now- wait, we basically are the police!" He smirked.

Zero smiled, "There's no need to arrest anyone, Axl, look at who's coming."

They all turned their attention to several Ride Chasers with the Maverick Hunter logo on them, Zero flashed a quick thumbs up towards a Hunter he recognized from his own unit.

"Sorry 'o keep 'ou waiting, sir." He apologized, "There was a bit o' a delay tracking 'em down, Didn't even expect you to be involved in this! Did anything bad 'appen to you, sir?"

Zero shook his head, giving another small smile, "There wasn't any trouble at all, don't worry." X shot him a look that was somewhat angry and teasing at the same time.

"That's good to hear, sir, now if you don't mind me, I'll 'ave to arrest these folks, HQ's probably gonna let 'em off with a bit o' the ole' interrogation, well, minus the ones who broke in an' threaten'd that Navigator, 'ope that lass is alright."

While a few members were kicking and screaming as they were being handcuffed, the rest accepted their punishment with no problem.

Before they were taken away, Zero decided to say one last thing, "You know, if you asked nicely without the aggresiveness, I would've been glad to give an autograph or something."

One of the fangirls turned around and said, "We know, well most of us, anyway, but thanks for putting an end to Liz's madness, most of us were too terrified of her to object to anything."

Liz turned out to be the Reploid leading the club, she was screaming agressively, trying to free herself of the handcuffs.

Zero laughed a little, "No problem, I hope this'll be an important lesson for all of you."

_______________________________________________

"Hey, Axl, Remind me to request higher security once we get back to HQ." X said as they were walking to Dr. Cain's house, it was already late in the evening, he was probably already worried sick.

"Sure, we don't want anything like that to happen ever again, after all!" He grinned.

"By the way, Axl, I remember you telling me that I have qualities that fangirls seem to love." Zero said, "What exactly did you mean by that?"

"Hm? What's this? Something I missed out on?" X smiled.

Zero told him what had happened in the alley.

"Well, I can certaintly see what Axl meant by that." X nodded.

"Hm?"

"Well, to answer your question, Zero," Axl grinned, "You're insanely cool, and not just character-wise, they probably have a thing for your hair and the rest of your appearance, too."

"Oh, this?" He looked at himself, "I really don't see what's so appealing about it, looks too flashy to me."

"Riiight, clearly whoever made you cared more about your design than fixing your agonizing unawareness issue." Axl groaned.

Axl took out his phone and opened up some sort of social networking app, X and Zero stared to look at what he was doing.

Soon enough, he opened up some sort of tabloid profile, one of their latest posts was a poll titled, "Which of these Maverick Hunters is the Hottest?" And surprise, surprise, all three of them were the poll options.

It hadn't even been out for a day and the poll already had over 10,000 votes, Zero ranked first with 71%, X with 10% and Axl with 19%.

"See? Told ya, Zero, people go crazy for the hair." Axl grinned.

 Zero wasn't sure whether to be flattered or embarrased to rank first, he didn't look that good to people, did he?

No matter, it didn't matter if he was the most attractive or not, what mattered most was whatever he was tasked to do in the present.

Eventually, they reached Dr. Cain's house, way later than they thought they'd be, of course.

"So all of you are finally here! I was getting very worried, did something happen?" The old archaeologist asked.

"Let's just say that we ran into a bit of...trouble." Zero forced a smile.

"No matter, I'm just glad you managed to come, thanks for taking care of the groceries, I'm sure I can count on you again, right?" He chuckled.

"Dr. Cain, I'm sorry, but with all due respect, never again." Axl said.

_______________________________________________

(Author's Note): I had a bit of writer's block writing this chapter, but I managed to get it done! I wanted to write a chapter with the kinda-4th-wall-break about Zero having fangirls, it took a long time to finish this one because I had to change some major plot points along the way, it was tiring, but I think it was worth it!

[nekoabi]

On the Verge of a Heartbreak - Epilogue

Here it is, the monster of an epilogue... that took two days to write... because I have no self control... *falls flat on her face* Well, yeah. I hope you guys enjoy this! Gonna do a last promo for my writing blog that I’ll officially start posting to with the next fic: @nekoabiwrites

AU: Human, (post) School Pairing: Moxiety, OC/OC Words: 9621 (ye it’s long) Warnings: Mention of alcohol and drunkenness, descriptive panic attack, Roman gets mad a few times, yelling, bad life habits. Anything else, please let me know!

Summary: Roman Ashworth is loving his life, or at least... he thinks he is.

Roman Ashworth was happy with his life. He was perfectly content with his job and his lifestyle. Everyone at his job was too stuffy and uptight, completely not his type of people. He preferred to leave them to their own devices, having always turned down their invitations to spend time together after work until they finally got the message. Instead, Roman would go back to his empty apartment, take a few hours to wash off the boring 9 to 5 desk job costume and replace it with a perfect party look, go out to one of the many clubs, and then just dance and drink the night away.

He had friends, though. While at work, he’d talk with his co-workers and they were always so pleased to be around him. At the many clubs, Roman was close to all of the security and bar staff, so clearly they were friends. He even spoke to his old school friend, Remy, on occasion. Yes, Roman Ashworth’s life was going just the way he wanted it to.

That was until one day, when all the things he’d been running from and pushing to the back of his mind came crashing down around him.

It all started when he got a message from Remy, asking to meet at their usual spot that evening. Roman was utterly delighted that his friend wanted to spend some time together, would be a nice change from the usual day-to-day life. So, that night he cut his partying short and headed to their usual meeting point – a small local diner. Upon entering, Roman was easily able to pick out his friend due to the signature leather jacket and the fact there were only three others in the diner at the time.

Roman slid into the seat opposite of Remy with an exaggerated sigh, “Man, I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted!”

In front of him, Remy simply sipped loudly through the straw between his teeth. He kept the sound going for a few seconds for effect, but eventually let it pop out of his mouth, “You’re half an hour late.”

Roman scoffed, “I’m sorry, I’m just such a busy guy. I’m sure you know how it is.”

Remy seemed to consider fighting the point for a moment, but then clearly thought better. He shook his head and took another long drink before speaking again, “I have something for you, Ro. Something from your brother.”

At the mention of his family member, Roman immediately went on the defensive. Originally, he’d looked excited at the mention of receiving something, but that quickly went out the window. Roman crossed his arms and pouted, “I don’t remember having a brother.”

Remy sighed, already tired of Roman’s game, “Look, do you want to know what it is or not, because I can throw it away.”

“No, I wanna see it so I can throw it away if I want to.”

Remy rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the plain envelope and placed it in the centre of the table, within reach of them both and stared at Roman. Slowly, the man leant back in his chair and seemed to relax entirely, as if a weight he was carrying was dropped off of his shoulders. He casually sipped at his drink once more, watching Roman carefully as he grabbed the envelope.

Roman purposefully took his time opening the envelope. He could feel Remy watching him, even after the man had flicked his sunglasses down, and Roman really didn’t feel like playing up to his friend’s expectations. It was hard, but he managed to accomplish his goal and slowly took the piece of thick paper out of its holder, flipping it open fairly quickly.

His heart stopped as he saw what was, unmistakably, a wedding invitation.

“Is this some kind of joke?” Roman turned the paper towards Remy, pointing to it accusingly, “Because it’s not very funny.”

Remy pulled his sunglasses down a little to make eye contact with Roman, giving the man an opportunity to show his exasperation. “No, Roman, it’s not a joke. It’s a real wedding invitation from your real brother.”

“I already told you, I don’t have a brother.” Roman huffed. He opted to ignore the continued disdainful look from his friend and focus on the invite itself. It was proudly proclaiming the wedding of his former brother and his fiancé, who just happened to be the same person from years back. The silver detailing was intricate, yet also very simple as it stuck mostly to the border of the letter. Roman read the words again and again, trying to come up with anything else to say.

He didn’t want to go to this wedding. He didn’t want to see the man who was supposed to be his brother and the kid who he’d lost years ago. He didn’t want to see who he was marrying and see them both looking happy once more. He didn’t want to go because he’d likely have to see the other’s family and deal with all of them, which meant seeing… him.

“Ugh.” Roman threw the paper down onto the table and pushed it towards Remy, “I’ve thought about it and I’m totally not going. I’d have to see Logan again. I am not about to give him the satisfaction of seeing me and gloating in my face about how great he is and how much better his life is with his two brothers.” Roman pretended to puke, sticking a finger into his opened mouth.

Across the table, Remy had had enough. He roughly slammed the recyclable cup he was sipping out of against the table, not making a loud sound but getting his point across and managing to get Roman’s full attention.

“See? This-” Remy flicked his finger up and down Roman’s body, “-is the problem here. You.”

Roman spluttered, clearly offended. He went to speak but Remy took the sunglasses off of his face and snapped the arms shut, “I wasn’t finished.” Remy said, his voice somehow both calm and threatening at the same time.

“You are still holding onto the past, Roman. You tell me every time we meet up that you’re over it, that you’re done with all that, but look at you. You’re throwing away an invite to a wedding because you don’t wanna see one person. One person you’ve put characteristics onto that are not even a part of them.” Remy sat up straight for the first time, locking eyes with Roman, “How do I know that? Because I’ve met with them. I’ve met with them all, and guess what? They’re not dicks. They never were dicks.”

Roman was slowly getting angry. How could his friend turn on him like that?! “That’s not fair, Rem! I thought you were on my side!”

“OH. MY. GOD.” Remy threw his hands into the air, silencing Roman. The few people still around in the diner turned to see what was going on, “There are no sides, Roman. There have never been sides to choose. You made your own problems by focusing all your attention on ruining one guy’s life, and you are still so blind to all the shit you’ve caused.”

“Luckily, they’ve all been able to move on without you and they’re probably better for it. Do you wonder why you’re always alone, going out to clubs to dance with strangers, drinking the night away?” Remy asked rhetorically, “It’s because you’re unable to make friends. You never learned how.”

“That’s a lie! I-” Roman started to respond but Remy cut him off again, standing up out of his chair which caused it to make a horrible screech as it slid back.

“No, it’s not, Ro. You have no friends at work, which you happily gloat about because ‘they’re no fun’. You have no friends outside of work because all you do is go out and party with strangers who forget your name the next day because all of them are so drunk. You have half a friend, Roman Ashworth, and that is me.”

“Half a friend…?” Roman asked meekly, a little scared at Remy’s behaviour.

“Yeah, half a friend. Because I am getting sick and tired of all your high and mighty behaviour. You’re not better than anyone else, sweetheart. You’re actually worse off than most. And, if you keep this up, you’re going to lose that half as well, because I am gradually losing hope for you. I used to sometimes be able to see that kid I used to be friends with, the kid that was fun and wasn’t obsessed with himself, wasn’t obsessed with some other kid that had literally no interest in fighting him, and I’m really starting to lose sight of him.” Remy plucked his cup back up and made to head towards the door but stopped just as he turned his back to Roman, “If you ever start to wake up and see the destruction you’ve caused, call me. Or-” He reached back into his jacket again and pulled out a second envelope, this one noticeably thicker than the one he’d handed to Roman. He held it between two fingers, showing the other man that his name was written on the outside, “-I might see you at the reception.”

With that, Remy walked out the door of the diner.

Roman was left alone with the invitation still staring him in the face, along with the few other customers who were watching him with interest. Quickly, he grabbed the invite and walked back to his apartment.

He was absolutely furious that Remy would even say such things to him. How dare he insinuate that Roman was one of the worst people he knew! How dare he say that he was only ‘half a friend’ to Roman now! How dare he even try and compare Roman to those who’d dropped him so easily all those years back.

Roman stormed around his apartment for a while, thinking about what to do. “C’mon, Roman. Think. You just have to prove that he’s wrong about you.” He muttered to himself as he paced frantically.

Then he had the most brilliant idea he’d ever had. Roman dove for his laptop that rested on the small coffee table and switched it on as he took a seat on the couch. He drummed his fingers on the edge, a giddy sense of glee filling him. If Remy was so sure that everyone else was having a great time with their ‘friends’ and whatever, then Roman was just going to have to find evidence that he was wrong.

Roman searched through his social media in order to find either Patton or his fiancé. He first found the fiancé’s but then realised that he was blocked by the profile holder. Roman took offense and quickly moved to Patton’s, more determined than ever to find proof that their lives were not as perfect as Remy made them out to be.

“Oh, you were always too trusting, Patton…” Roman spoke low, as if he were taunting the statue of the man that resided in the profile picture. He wasn’t blocked here, he was even still a friend, which gave him access to all he could possibly want to find. “Let’s see what you have on here, shall we?” Roman spoke to himself as he began to scroll through the pictures Patton had posted over the years.

This trawling through the other man’s pictures and memories did not have the desired effect on Roman, however. Instead of finding pictures where they seemed to be faking their amazing life and great friends, Roman was being greeted by images that just proved Remy’s point. He searched desperately, trying so hard to find evidence to his theory, but ultimately came up short. He could reason out all the smiles with negative ideas as much as he liked, but there was no water to any of it.

Slowly, Roman started to give up hope and just began to click through the pictures. He’d not seen his little brother in well over 7 years, and the absence was suddenly hitting him hard. He’d gone all the way back to pictures that had been taken a little after the day they moved away from the old neighbourhood and was watching the young man grow into the adult he was today.

Roman clicked through picture after picture showing his daily college life; his dorm room, all the friends he was making, his relationship with his now fiancé. Everything looked idyllic and perfect.

Now, he wasn’t an idiot. Roman knew deep down that this was still an idealised version of Patton’s life, but there just had to be some truth behind it, especially as every photo was within a few days of each other.

He slapped the lid of the laptop shut in frustration. Roman decided to get some rest, he’d be able to focus better tomorrow anyway, and he would definitely be able to find something that proved his point.

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur of usual mundanity for the most part, though Roman was now hyper aware of how his co-workers acted around him. They seemed to grow quiet as he approached, either beginning to talk in hushed whispers or just entirely going silent. Before he'd had that talk with Remy, Roman saw these behaviours as invitations for him to start his own conversations with the groups he was passing by, but now he wasn’t so sure. Roman attempted to brush this off as a random coincidence and go about his day as normal, but the idea kept nagging at the back of his mind.

At the end of each day, he was more than ready to go about his usual evening routine and just go have some fun. Roman forgot about the social media scrolling and just did what he always did. He went out, got drunk and had a great time with some strangers, but one day, he left before the club closed because he still couldn’t get the odd nagging from his mind.

Roman huffed as he walked through the door to his apartment, kicking off his shoes roughly. He went to the bathroom to remove his makeup and his eyes caught the laptop still sitting on the coffee table where he’d left it weeks prior. He paused, considering it for a second before ignoring it and reaching for the makeup remover. It was only once he had fully cleansed his face that he looked at the piece of technology again.

Realising he’d never be able to sleep if he didn’t at least have a look, Roman threw himself onto the couch and flipped open the laptop. As he waited for it to load, he pulled out his phone and looked at his own profile.

He felt like he needed to compare himself, really visualise the difference that Remy had been talking about in order to understand it because he really wasn’t seeing it right now. His heart sank, and his stomach ached as he realised that every picture he had was usually of him alone; selfies of him in dark clubs or his own apartment. The ones that had other people in them were of people he didn’t know the names of or were of him and Remy. It wasn’t until he went back to his high school pictures that he was able to see photos of himself with people he could easily recognise and name.

Roman started to feel queasy so he threw his phone to the side and focused on getting back to Patton’s profile on his laptop. More pictures went by as he spent the next hour looking at them. Photos from holidays and vacations with his fiancé and their family, photos from date nights and anniversaries, photos of people Roman could vaguely recognise from their high school days. But then came the pictures from the last Christmas that had gone by.

The first was like most Christmas pictures he’d already seen on his travels through Patton’s life, showing him wearing a large festive jumper and his fiancé begrudgingly wearing one of their own. The next ones were what hit Roman the hardest.

He saw his parents. With his little brother. And without him.

Roman hadn’t realised that he’d not only dropped his little brother all those years ago but had also lost contact with his parents. He hadn’t spoken to them since he’d decided to move away to the city, figuring that he didn’t need to. Each and every time they’d invited him home, he’d been busy – or so he’d fooled himself into thinking. And they’d stopped trying after all these years. Patton had done the same back then, having moved away so suddenly and not really wanting anything to do with their parents, but he’d clearly patched up the relationship somewhat. It hurt to see this, see himself excluded from what could be seen as any normal family picture. The next one hurt even more. It was both of the families, sitting together for a posed picture. He finally got to see Logan’s face for the first time in years. He could seem him happy, alongside not only his parents, but also Roman’s own parents.

Roman once again slammed the laptop shut and left it to fall into sleep mode. He moved into his bedroom and attempted to fall asleep, trying to rid his mind of the image he’d just seen. The next day, he didn’t even feel like going out. He instead decided to sit on his couch and binge some TV. He tucked the laptop away in a place he couldn’t see it, trying to remove the temptation to torture himself some more.

This went on for another week, just Roman working all day and then sitting in front of his TV until he eventually passed out from exhaustion. All the while, he was cursing everyone he used to know, especially Remy. The man was supposed to be his friend and yet he’d cursed him like this, forced him somehow to look at all of those pictures and make him feel the worst he’d ever felt in his entire life.

It wasn’t until one of his co-workers approached him that Friday did Roman finally realise something was terribly wrong with his life.

Roman had almost fallen asleep as his desk due to his entire week involving him passing out at around 1am after laying on the couch for hours. So, when the meek young employee had approached and checked if he was okay, Roman was definitely startled.

No one at work had spoken to him so kindly in a long time. “I was just a little worried.” The young worker said, “You’re usually full of energy and life, but recently you’ve looked a little worse for wear and I just wanted to make sure you were okay…”

Roman awkwardly assured his co-worker that he was okay, or was at least going to be soon, still a little thrown off by the nice gesture. It felt good to be thought about by someone. Later, during his lunch break, he managed to catch up to the other co-worker and ask if they were sitting with anyone, before taking up a seat at the same table in the café.

That lunch had been the most enjoyable in a long time. Roman wasn’t sat at his desk alone or out somewhere by himself, he was laughing and learning about someone else. Later that day, he was still hung up on it and decided to pull out the laptop again.

He didn’t want to look at pictures any more, Roman decided as he unlocked the laptop once more. He moved back to the main page of Patton’s profile and scrolled a little through his other posts, reading the most recent ones that all seemed to be related to his upcoming wedding.

Roman paused for a second when he saw one that had a couple of names he recognised. Patton had made a post a few weeks back, talking about how his fiancé’s brother and his fiancé’s best friend had argued over who would be the best man, and both of them were tagged. Roman hesitantly clicked on the best friend’s name, just curious to see how he was doing.

There was some zing of joy that managed to sneak through the ever-present gloom that was filling Roman’s body as he saw that the old friend of his was doing well. He scrolled through the pictures for a moment, trying to figure out why he recognised the girl that was in a lot of the photos before giving up and heading back to Patton’s own page.

Roman paused as a thought entered his head. Remy had said he’d spoken to the couple, right? Did that mean…?

Without even really giving a single thought to the consequences of his actions, Roman looked at Remy’s profile. It was then that his world really shattered around him. Remy had other friends, Remy looked happy. Roman had very few memories where Remy was as happy as he looked in these pictures. He scrolled through a few, noting that the old friend he was previously looking at featured in some of the pictures along with the girl.

The laptop was quietly shut and placed back on the table. Roman was left in the dark of his apartment. It was now nearly midnight. This would usually be when he’d be in his element in the clubs, and here he was, sat alone. He reflected on everything he’d seen over the past weeks, slowly letting everything add up in his head.

He really did have no friends. He did nothing but work and party. He went to the clubs to fulfil that sense of companionship with drunken strangers who he forgot the names of before they’d even parted ways. He brushed off the invites to hang out with his co-workers and his family, which had made them start to ignore him. He’d deluded himself into thinking this was the best way to live his life, that he was free from all restraints and was doing exactly what he wanted. But those pictures told a different story.

Roman knew he wanted what those pictures had all shown him. He wanted friends, he wanted to have relationships that meant something. He wanted to get his family back, he wanted to laugh and cry with them and see them happy. He was starting to get that back from the singular lunch experience he’d just had, but that was only a taste – and Roman realised he’d been craving it for years now.

He groaned and buried his face in his hands, “What have I done…?” Roman once again spoke to the empty air, as if maybe some voice would respond to him. As his hands fell away and he stood to get a drink, the white of the wedding invite caught his eye. He’d dropped it onto the small table just outside of the kitchen area, thinking he’d throw it away eventually, but something was stopping him.

Just then, Remy’s voice rang through his head, “If you ever start to wake up and see the destruction you’ve caused, call me.”

Without thinking through the consequences, Roman reached for his phone and called Remy’s number. It rang for what felt like forever before Remy finally picked up.

“What?” came the sleepy voice. Roman laughed to himself; he’d forgotten that Remy was always cranky when someone interrupted his sleep. “Look, if you called to just laugh at me, coul-”

“I think we need to talk, Rem.” Roman quickly responded, before Remy could finish his thought, “I think… I need your help.”

There was a moment of silence, only broken by the slight rustling on the other end of the phone line. Roman fiddled with the ripped flap of the invitation’s envelope that was still sat underneath it on the table as he waited for Remy’s response.

“Okay. But we’re meeting late, I need my beauty sleep. Perfection like this doesn’t happen without good rest.”

Roman was able to hold back his laughter as his nervous energy poured out from him, “Sure thing. How about 5pm?”

“Uh, no, my terms. 8 or later.”

“Demanding as usual. Fine, 8.”

“You can’t talk shit.”

“Uh huh, sure. See you tomorrow, Rem.”

With that, they both hung up. Roman sighed and decided to head to bed, finding that rest came easier that night than any before.

----

Roman nervously tapped his foot as he checked the time on his phone for the umpteenth time since he’d sat down in their usual seats at the diner. It was now getting close to 8:45 and Remy had still not turned up or messaged him. Roman had already made his way through several drinks as his throat kept drying up.

As Roman was beginning to type out a message to Remy in order to check if he was actually coming, the man in question strolled through the door casually and slipped into a seat opposite.

“Sorry, I’m late. I’m just so busy… I’m sure you’d understand.” Remy flippantly stated, exaggeratedly gesturing and throwing his legs up onto the empty chair beside him.

Roman breathed out a self-conscious laugh at having his own words thrown back at him, “Okay, I deserved that…”

“Oh no, that’s just the beginning, darling. I have plenty more where that came from.” Remy pulled out his phone and opened one of the notes pages, “Should I list them for you?”

“Nah, surprise me next time.” Roman pushed the phone down. A moment of silence passed as Remy stared at Roman through his sunglasses, it took that whole time for Roman to realise his friend was waiting for him to say his piece.

He took a deep breath and began to speak, “I wanted to meet you to say I’m sorry for how shitty I’ve been. This whole month has been fucking torture because what you said has been playing on my mind, which made me see the truth. It made me realise I’ve just been pretending, pushing away the negative thoughts and making everything positive. I’ve been so focused on me, and I haven’t looked at anyone else around.” Roman thought back to the co-worker he’d spent lunch with the day before and smiled, “But now I realise that I need to be better. I need to listen to people, not just brush them off all the time… because that’s how I end up with no one in the long run. I figured the best person to start with in order to make myself better was you, Rem. You’ve been my friend for years, you’re the only one I’m still in contact with from back then and you never actually gave up on me, no matter how much I ignored you or frustrated you. I feel like I need to thank you and apologise a hundred times over before I’ve truly made up for all the shit I put you through, but I hope this is, at least, a good place to start…”

Remy was silently sipping at the drink in his hand. He said nothing, even after it was clear Roman was done. He let a minute go by, looking as though he was considering everything Roman had just poured out to him. “You’re right.”

“Huh?” Roman almost jumped as the man opposite suddenly spoke.

“You really do have to apologise a hundred times.”

Roman flicked his eyes around the diner. He was unsure if Remy had accepted his initial apology or not. He waited in yet more silence as Remy took another extended drink through the straw that was perpetually between his lips.

“…but I guess this is a good enough start.”

Finally, the cup was placed on the table and Remy smiled his half smile at him. Roman felt his entire body relax. He’d been so god damn tense this whole time without even really noticing it. He felt like laughing maniacally out of relief, but managed to reign himself in before talking, “Thanks, Remy.”

“That’s two.”

“Fuck... you’re actually going to keep count aren’t you?” Roman rested his forehead against the table, groaning.

“You know it, hon.”

“Great.”

“So, who’s next on your list?” Remy asked, changing the subject.

Roman raised his head and sighed, “See, I’m not sure exactly who I need to apologise to. Like, I know I should say it to my family and Patton’s fiancé’s family and everything, but who else?”

“Wow, you really do need my help. Alright,” Remy finally moved his sunglasses off of his face. He rested them up on top of his head, so he could look Roman dead in the eyes, “Let’s get started with this list.”

For the next two hours, the two friends sat and figured out a ranked list of people who Roman needed to apologise to. It started with the easier and geographically closest ones for Roman to handle, so he’d get the hang of what he needed to say and how to say it in a way that wasn’t awful. Remy listed off everyone he could think of on the top of his head before grabbing Roman’s phone and scrolling through his contacts and his social media. They left the obvious ones until last.

“So, when do you think you’ll speak to them?” Remy casually asked, as they’d now reached his family members.

Roman shrugged, “I dunno… Depends how quickly I get through the rest of these?” He said, clearly unsure of himself.

Remy raised an eyebrow, “Really? You can’t think of any time at all when you’d be able to see them all?”

“But… wouldn’t that be… kinda gross to do? Bring it all back up on their wedding day?” Roman was trying his hardest to think of a better time, but nothing was coming. After the wedding would be awful and he really only had two options before that: skipping out on their invite to the wedding and then showing his face after that when they would have already probably made a decision about him due to his absence, or turn up at the wedding, actively avoid interacting with anyone that might possibly recognise him but then that would also make it seem like he’d not cared to show up at all even though he had.

He began to search for even the smallest reason not to turn up, “Like, I don’t wanna start a fight on their wedding day, Rem. It would be bad.”

“Start a fight? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Well, y’know… me and Logan haven’t gotten along and-”

“Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Remy groaned loudly, rolling his eyes back. “Roman, come on. Are you still stuck on him? Just let it go, bitch. Oh my god. I don’t even know what he did to make you hate him so much, but it better be something fucking traumatic as hell or else I’m walking out of here.”

Roman shut his mouth. If he was completely honest with himself, he didn’t even remember what Logan had done all those years ago. He’d just ended up telling himself and everyone who asked that he was ‘just an uptight, controlling asshole’, but that still didn’t mean that Logan was in the clear. Also, yeah, he was kinda a huge dick to Logan and stuff, but that didn’t really matter anymore. He hadn’t seen the guy in years, so really it didn’t have anything to do with what he was currently trying to figure out.

“Wait.” Remy was currently reading his mind, if his facial expression was anything to go by when Roman looked back up, “You don’t even realise what you really did, do you?”

“Rem, please, just tell me stuff. Don’t ask questions like that… I can’t.” Roman whined, almost pleading with his friend.

Remy silently pulled out his own phone again. He scrolled through something that Roman couldn’t see from the angle he was currently sat. It was only once the phone was slid across to him that he was able to see that it was a social media chat. What he read caused his stomach to churn.

Message after message sent between Patton and Remy went by. He read all their discussions, from their first correspondence where they’d lamented the loss of their friend and brother, up until their recent talk about asking him to come to the wedding.

“Oh, that’s not all.” Remy plainly said as Roman attempted to push the phone back to its owner. Another chat was opened, this time with Reggie. He scrolled back up to a specific message before letting Roman read again.

This time all the messages described what had happened once Roman had left the school and the effect he’d been having on his little brother and their friends. He was only able to get to the messages that described what he’d done on that fateful day in the park before Roman had to stop himself before he puked.

“Okay. Okay. I get it. Just. Stop showing it to me.” Roman cried out, leaning against the back of the chair in an attempt to get as far away as he could from the phone screen.

“Do you really get it, Roman?” Remy asked, his voice measured and serious. “Do you get what you did? What your actions caused? Because you better understand before you even think about seeing any of them again.”

Roman swallowed hard and tried to calm himself down. It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d been such a dominant source of anxiety and stress for his little brother and his friends. He’d never stopped and thought about how his obsession with proving Logan was somehow worse than him and taking him down a peg would even remotely cause such changes. He’d absolutely never thought that he would actually have been the source of arguments and disagreements. Something inside of him was thrashing about, yelling at him and punishing him. Maybe it was his morality that had finally been released from its cage after all these years.

He didn’t even realise he was losing himself to it all until a hand rested on his shoulder and Remy’s voice reached him, though it did sound like he was far away down a tunnel, “Hey, Roman. Can you breathe for me?”

Roman tried, but he found his lungs weren’t listening. They seemed to just want to breathe sharply. It was almost like he was drowning, he was shivering like mad, but he felt like he was in boiling hot water. His muscles were tensing to the point of being painful, causing him to start to curl up into a ball, which didn’t help his breathing.

“C’mon Ro. You can do it. Just follow this pattern as best you can.” Remy started to gently stroke a rhythm out on his back, keeping it perfectly in time. Roman could just about make out Remy vocally breathing through it at the same pace.

He managed one shaky breath, but then fell back into a couple quick ones. “Good, that was good, Ro. Keep trying.”

It took a few minutes, but eventually Roman was able to breathe deeply again. He was now able to notice Remy crouched at his side. They were still in the diner, it was still dark outside. Everything was getting back to normal. Aftershocks still racked Roman’s body from time to time, but he felt better, “What… what was that?” He asked, still a little dazed.

Remy stood up and took his seat across from Roman once more, “A panic attack, Ro. I guess that was my fault, shouldn’t have thrown that all at you in one go. Sorry.”

Roman shook his head softly, “Don’t. It’s okay. I just… I never realised. I didn’t know that-” His throat seemed to close as he went to admit it out loud. He cleared it purposefully and powered on, “-that I did all that. That it was all my fault.”

Remy nodded, “Well, do you get it now?”

“I think so…” Roman bowed his head and paused as another aftershock of shudders flew through his body, “I have so much more to apologise to them for, huh?” He smiled ruefully at his friend that was back to sipping at his new drink.

“Understatement of the century, sugar.” Remy responded with his own smile as he also flicked his sunglasses back down over his eyes.

From that night onwards, Remy would spend at least one evening a week leading up to the wedding with Roman. He was the one who critiqued the apologies Roman came up with and got him to change them for the better, while also being the support Roman needed in order to even go through with some of them. As the weeks went by, the pair found themselves just enjoying their nights together as they relaxed a lot more. Roman was still trying to get out of some of his old habits, but Remy wasn’t too pushy on it. He was finally seeing the kid that he became friends with back in middle school; the sassy confident asshole that complimented him so well. Remy had to remind Roman of his old self from time to time, especially when he started apologising for something that wasn’t a big deal.

One night, Roman and Remy were simply lounging on Roman’s couch, watching a show and chatting. Roman grabbed the wedding invitation off the coffee table and turned to Remy, “Hey, so I was re-reading this earlier today and it’s an invite to the reception, right?”

Remy looked between the invite and Roman, eyebrows raised, “Did you think they’d invite you to the ceremony? I thought we’d already worked through your delusions, but alright.”

“No, you dick.” Roman shoved Remy’s shoulder with an exasperated smile, “I just wanted to make sure.”

“Ohhhh, sure.” Remy held his hand still as he was shoved lightly again, making sure to not spill the drink he was holding.

“So, what about you?”

“I’m going to both.”

“Oh.”

Remy glanced to the side and saw Roman’s slightly downcast expression. Clearly the man had not been expecting that revelation to come out so easily, but he quickly managed to shake it off and smile unconvincingly once he noticed Remy looking at him.

“Okay, Ro, do I need to explain again how much I’ve been in their lives?” Remy sighed and tilted his head back to rest against the back of the plush sofa.

“Nah, I kinda knew it. I guess I just needed to hear it to really believe it. Y’know?”

The corner of Remy’s lip twitched into a smile, “Yeah, I get it.”

Then the week of the wedding came. Remy had to cancel their usual get together as he needed to travel, but he did threaten Roman gently in order to make him promise to show up. This threat was what made Roman turn up on time, finding himself swamped in a landscape of unfamiliar faces. Some of the more friendly and chatty guests tried to start small talk with him and Roman obliged them, being as polite as he could while also dodging around the question of how he knew the couple.

Roman eventually found himself lingering in the bathroom of the reception venue, checking himself in the mirror over and over. He kept finding small things that needed to be fixed, but a small part of his brain – that sounded strangely like his friend - told him that he was stalling so he didn’t have to go through with what was going to undoubtably be the hardest apology he was ever going to have to do.

He wasn’t deluded anymore. He was aware of what his actions had caused, at least as far as Remy could tell him. There was no way for him to truly know what effect he’d had on Patton and his parents after all these years, but he knew it wasn’t a positive one. Roman was highly aware of the fact that they might not accept his apology outright and – while he knew it would hurt – he wasn’t going to be surprised if that happened. The amount of pain and suffering he’d caused over the years was a hell of a lot, almost to the point of being unquantifiable, so he was prepared to take their decision with dignity. He knew it wasn’t about him - well, okay it was a little about him, but it wasn’t about him – so if he was left hurting at the end of it all, that was just how this was going to go.

His phone buzzed as he was bracing himself to leave the bathroom. Roman checked it to see a message from Remy.

Rem: Boy. You better be late or something, because I will ruin you if you’re not coming.

Ro: I’ve been here for almost 30 mins, just been in the bathroom for...      For most of it.  

All of a sudden, the door to the bathroom slammed open and crashed into the wall.

“You better get your cute little ass out of this bathroom right now or else, lord help you.” Remy shouted. Roman realised that the door hadn’t even shut as Remy finished his sentence.

“Rem!” He whispered harshly, “Shut up! The last thing I need is-”

“…It’s not a wedding without a fight, right honey?” Laughter followed the voice that floated through the small crack in the door as it finally shut.

Roman hung his head and turned away from his friend, “Great. Wonderful. Just perfect! Now people actually think I’m getting into a fight! Y’know, the whole thing I wanted to avoid!” Roman glared into the mirror, trying to catch Remy’s gaze.

The other man was leaning against the wall between two of the stalls and simply shrugged, “Wouldn’t have been an issue if you didn’t hole yourself away in here, honey.”

Roman scoffed and rolled his eyes before turning back to face his friend, “Don’t you ‘honey’ me. Ugh, I don’t know if I can do this, Rem…”

“You can and you will, unless you want-”

“Unless I want you to tell them that I’m a coward who turned up and wanted to apologise but skipped out because it was too difficult for me. Yes, I know, Rem. You’ve told me a hundred times.” Roman cut across the other, sounding exhausted.

“Alright, good, you listen. Now, you’re gonna stand up straight, walk out of here, go find your table, sit and listen quietly like a good little boy, wait until the moment you can move and then go say your thing, right?” Remy casually rattled off the plan they’d gone over and over in Roman’s apartment a few weeks ago.

Roman sighed heavily, “There’s no getting out of this, is there?”

“Nope.” Remy crossed his arms, “Either you do it yourself, or I drag you out of here to do it, and that wouldn’t look good, sweetie.”

“Ugh, I know! I know!” Roman almost cried to the ceiling, as if he were cursing some kind of omniscient being for putting him in this situation.

Remy blinked a few times before speaking again, “Are you done?”

Roman pouted but nodded. He followed his friend out of the bathroom, taking a deep steadying breath before stepping out into the large reception room. He stood just outside of the door for a moment, unsure of where to go. From what he could see, there was something like a photo booth on the far end of the room, which was decorated with pictures and memories of the couple as well as several things that bore the couple’s last names. Currently over there were some people he thought he vaguely recognised, there was a tug at his memory that told him they could be aunts or uncles or cousins that he’d only met a few times. Seeing them reminded Roman that family were going to be involved and he suddenly felt the need to hide back in the safety of the bathroom once again.

Remy made sure he couldn’t do that, however. Almost as if he had a sixth sense for Roman’s panic, the other man grabbed his wrist just before he was about to turn and run before dragging him over to the table that sat just next to the entrance.

“So, you’re back here. What are you going to do?” Remy prompted, pointing at the table plan for the dining area.

Roman found his name at the table furthest away from the head table. He’d expected something like that and so it didn’t come as much of a shock, but he realised that – in order to get to the head table – he’d have to walk through the dance floor, which would be completely clear and in full view of everyone attending. Roman could feel his heart starting to pound as he visualised the worst; being watched by all those pairs of eyes, being rejected immediately without even having the chance to speak and apologise, physically being dragged back across that empty floor and thrown outside.

Remy comforted him by gently stroking the pulse point on his wrist, “Hey, chill out. You’ll be fine. Patton will hear you out, he’s a good guy. Everyone else will follow his lead. Just chill.”

Before he could even respond, Roman was interrupted by the call for everyone to take their seats in the dining area. He shakily drew a breath and looked at Remy, who nodded to him. Both of them walked through the double doors, but Remy was being sat at a table near the front, so he left Roman to sit at his assigned table.

Roman tried to control his pounding heart and his shaking hands as the rest of seats filled up. He quickly realised that he was at the “Random People We Invited But Really Didn’t Expect Them To Turn Up” table, as three of the seats around him remained empty and the rest recalled stories of one time encounters or impersonal tales of how they knew the newly married couple. When it came to his turn, Roman made up a story of how he’d known the couple back in high school – it wasn’t a full lie, but it made it easier than possibly having to explain why he, the brother of one of the grooms, was sat here at the back of the room.

It felt like an eternity before the wedding party finally arrived, giving Roman a reason to stop talking to these people he didn’t know. He clapped politely along with the rest of the room as everyone entered and took their seats at the head table, though he was unable to take his eyes off of his parents and Patton once they’d come through.

They all looked so happy, like actually really happy. Roman had no memories of any of them looking like that, at least as far as he could recall. His stomach started to sink even more as the toasts began, the realisation that his awful behaviour years ago really affected his family in such a horrible way. He barely paid any attention to the toasts and speeches, especially when they came from people he didn’t know or were about events he’d never even heard about. It was yet another reminder that Roman had missed so much of their lives. He reacted in kind with the people at his table, smiling and offering a weak chuckle whenever they laughed, but none of it was real. The only time Roman really found he focused was when people he did know spoke, mostly his father and Logan.

Patton and his new husband – who Roman realised he should now refer to by his name, Virgil – took to the dance floor for their first dance. The moment was pure and adorable, yet Roman felt ill watching the two of them. All he could see as he watched the couple slowly sway were the young kids he’d thrown around and yelled at in the rain all those years ago. Guilt was dripping through his body, making him want to curl up and hide away from everyone. It also gave him the drive he needed to stick through it and make him want to apologise, he wanted to get his family back and see them happy. He wanted to replace that awful memory with ones full of smiles.

Roman almost missed the call for the buffet to start. They were going up table by table and, of course, because he was at the reject table, his was going to be last. He was not upset by this arrangement at all, however. It gave him more time to psych himself up.

The buffet was right across the room from his seat, which meant that if anyone looked just to their side, they would have a full view of him. Roman made sure to keep his face covered by his hand as the head table gathered their food, using the guise of propping his head up as the ruse. He watched and mentally counted down the numbers as each table was called up to get food. As Remy’s table went up, the two made eye contact and Remy jerked his head towards the long main table, a silent message that reminded Roman of his ultimate goal. He nodded in response, which seemed to placate Remy for now. Finally, his table was called.

Roman stood with the rest of them but lagged behind a little as they all passed in front of him. He wasn’t hungry at all. Throughout the process of all the guests gathering their food, Roman had seen many of them take a detour to the head table in order to congratulate the couple on their marriage, so him crossing the empty dance floor wasn’t going to be too out of place. The last member of his table passed in front of him and Roman took the plunge, walking directly towards the head table.

At first, no one seemed to respond in any negative way. They must have thought he was another well-wisher or something, not surprising as they hadn’t seen him in years. It was only once one person clocked that it was Roman that everyone else seemed to fall silent as they realised it themselves.

The rest of the room quietened in response, as other tables seemed interested in what was going on. Roman clenched his fist quickly to try and stop him shaking before he opened his mouth.

“I am here to apologise. To all of you. To my parents, for ruining your lives for years and destroying relationships you may have otherwise spent time enjoying. To all the people here who knew me in high school or college, specifically those who were there to witness… that day. I apologise for causing so much stress, for almost ripping your friendships and relationships apart. I am so sorry for being an ever-present thought in all of your minds and being such a problem for you all. To anyone I used,” Roman glanced to Remy for a second and then to Reggie, who sat at the head table, “I am sorry for being a blockade and a dick to you all. I wish I could have understood how to be a better friend and how much I had to lose back then. I am sorry I only saw you as a tool to further my stupid, self-imposed revenge that really made no real sense. To Mr and Mrs Mortenson, I am so sorry I targeted your son and almost ruined your other’s relationships. I’m sorry I stopped you from seeing my parents back then and I am so sorry for being the reason you moved out of a neighbourhood that appreciated you both so much.”

Roman paused for breath, knowing the hardest part was just about to come out.

“To Virgil,” He turned and looked the man in the eyes, trying to ignore the hatred that was blazing in them, “I am sorry for everything I did to you. I had no idea what impact my actions and words had on you, especially back then. Now, I am aware that I likely did lasting damage and for that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for trying to stop you being friends with Patton. I am sorry for causing your brother so much trouble and hurt that he was worried I would turn on you. He was probably correct about me back then, and that is unforgivable.”

“To Logan,” Roman turned and looked at his self-proclaimed school rival, finding the knot in his stomach untying as his gaze wasn’t as rage filled as his younger brothers, “I am immensely sorry for everything I ever did, for all the awful things I put you through. I know my actions and my words were disgusting and I fully own that fact now that I have been able to see the consequences. I am sorry for treating you unfairly and making assumptions that pushed me to find new and creative ways to be a pain in your ass. I am sorry that I ruined so much of your life and practically forced you to worry even more about your younger brother, purely because you were worried my attention would turn to include him in that stupid vendetta I had. I’m sorry for every word I said against you, I am sorry for every action I took against you.”

“And… to Patton,” Roman could feel his eyes beginning to tear up a little as he looked at his younger brother, seeing the small vulnerable young kid he’d almost destroyed. He refused to let himself cry in this moment, it wouldn’t look good and would make him feel like he was trying to gain sympathy, “I am sorry to you, Patton, my little brother, for everything I did. I had no idea that the boy you came home excited to talk about from preschool would turn out to be the man you loved, and it is awful that I tried to stop that. I am sorry for trying to push you to be like me, I’m sorry for even considering and implying that you were even remotely like I was back then. I’m sorry for all the teachers that compared us, for all the stuff I spouted about how close we were, for all the times I caused you to panic and worry about me or anyone I was involved with. I’m sorry that I almost ruined everything for you. I am truly sorry for it all.”

“I understand that some of you may not accept this apology and I want to say that I understand and will respect your decision, no matter what. Everything I did was unacceptable, and I am disgusted with myself. I wouldn’t be here without your kindness and willingness to at least give me a chance, and I definitely wouldn’t be here without you, Patton, reaching out to someone who could get me to realise the problems and hurt I’ve caused all of you. Thank you for being so gracious in listening to me today and for even considering inviting me to the happiest day of your lives.” Roman bowed to them out of pure instinct. He blinked back the tears that were still pricking at his eyes. His throat had caught several times and he needed to now swallow hard in order to stop him from bursting into tears.

Roman stood up straight and looked along the head table. He smiled and thanked them once more before going to turn and leave.

“Roman, wait.”

A voice stopped him from moving. Roman turned back to see Patton standing up, along with Virgil and a couple of Patton’s side of the wedding party. They seemed to be having a quiet argument, so Roman stood still and waited patiently to see what was happening.

On the other side, Logan was watching the man stood in front of him with a soft smile. He was fully aware everything Roman had just said was sincere. So many times in high school did Logan have to sit and watch as Roman faked his way through apology after apology, empty promises that he’d never do anything like that again to any student. This time, the emotion was plain for all to see and his eyes didn’t hold the rage and promise of more hurt. Logan physically found himself relaxing. He even helped in coaxing Virgil off of his new husband.

Everyone was silent as Patton smiled warmly to Virgil, “I know what I’m doing. Don’t worry.” He whispered before pressing a kiss to the other man’s cheek. Patton turned and walked around the table, coming to stand in front of Roman. He could see his older brother was tense, was clearly trying to hold himself together and so Patton smiled a comforting smile before wrapping his arms around Roman in a gentle hug.

Roman’s eyes flew wide. He hadn’t expected this. He stared between the table and the man hugging him carefully. When he heard the next words from Patton, everything came falling down.

“I forgive you, Ro.”

Roman wrapped his arms around his younger brother, silent tears falling from his eyes. He knew he still had a lot to do to make up for everything he’d done, he knew he hadn’t won all of their trust back, but he was more than willing to put in the work to do it. Roman was determined to prove he’d changed. But now, all that mattered was that he had his little brother back.

Last Chapter

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[returnsandreturns]

Long Forgotten WIP Amnesty

I found some fics gathering dust in my DropBox and am just going to post what I have of them so I can exorcise them. 

This is a Psych fic that was going to be an elaborate casefic involving Shawn’s first high school boyfriend and possibly Shawn/Lassiter (even though Shawn/Gus is obvs where my heart truly lies) but is now just this tiny hint of what could’ve been.

1992: SBPD Summer Youth Program

They’re dusting for fingerprints in the station’s breakroom when Shawn’s head collides with somebody else’s underneath one of the tables. He falls back and says, “God, crawl on the floor much,” and is met with a laugh. When he looks up, Shawn sees a boy smiling back at him. At first glance, Shawn documents: blonde hair, freckles, bruises on his arms, blue eyes. Really blue eyes. He’s wearing the same oversized polo that they’re all wearing, but he’s got his rolled up to sunburnt shoulders. And he’s still smiling.

“I have this weird feeling that they’re just having us do this so we’ll have to clean the whole place afterward,” the boy says. “What do you think?”

“Unpaid labor seems like the name of the game here,” Shawn agrees. Earlier, they cleaned up crime scenes that just happened to be in the bathrooms. He didn’t expect police work would involve so much mopping.

“I’m Julian,” the boy continues. “Want to see if we can get out of here without getting caught? We’re half a mile away from a What-a-Burger.”

“There’s an exit in the back of the kitchen that comes out by the street,” Shawn replies, after a long moment. “We could try dusting for stupid imaginary fingerprints in that direction.”

Julian’s smile grows wider.

 *

They get out without anybody noticing, and they buy big greasy cheeseburgers and split a large order of fries. Julian tells him about his dad, who’s a detective in the next city over and who seems a lot like Shawn’s dad, mostly because they’re both assholes. Shawn watches the way that Julian’s fingers tap the table and the way he licks salt off his lips and the way he watches Shawn, too.

“So, how good did you do on the test to get forced to spend your summer doing this?” Julian asks.

I’m a freaky cop prodigy, Shawn thinks. I am the chosen one. It’s terrible.

“I did fine,” he says. “Good enough. Passing grade.”  

Julian squints at him.

“You’re the kid who got a perfect score, aren’t you?”

“Okay, I’m their genius messiah,” Shawn says. “Don’t hold it against me.”

“I would never,” Julian says. “I guessed it was you after you totally showed up Officer Von Fuckface on the first day, but I wasn’t sure.”

“I’ve been calling him Officer Tiny Penis,” Shawn says, “but I like yours more.”

The first day, Shawn had a run in with one of the cops. He hates Shawn because he hates Shawn’s dad, probably because, asshole or not, Shawn’s dad is a kickass cop. That comes with enemies, his dad always says that, and apparently this dude is one of them. Shawn took advantage of the situation by correcting him sixteen times on the first day, with cited evidence from penal code and the handbook.

“Thanks,” Julian says. “Anyway, I’ve wanted to talk to you since then, because you seem like the person who could help me make this experience way less shitty.”

Shawn smiles.

“What did you have in mind?”

Later, after they sneak back in like nothing happened, they cover every part of Officer Van Fuckface’s desk, inside and out, with a thick layer of peanut butter. At the bus stop before they head home for the night, Julian says, “Do you think if we messed up any of his files, that would count as interfering with an investigation?”

“A code 48-1a?” Shawn asks. “God, I hope so.”

Julian laughs, leaning into Shawn for a moment before they both go still and quiet, looking at each other.

“Uhm, could I have your phone number, in case my dad finds out about this and grounds me for the rest of my life?” Shawn asks. Julian digs in his pockets for a pen before grabbing Shawn’s hand and carefully writing seven digits on it. Julian holds onto his hand a little longer than he needs to when he’s done, not quite looking at Shawn, and Shawn notices it because Shawn notices everything.

His stomach or his heart or something in his chest feels like it’s trying to escape the entire bus ride back to his neighborhood. At home, he writes down Julian’s number on his bedroom wall in pencil, next to his phone, underneath a few girls’ numbers and Gus’s even though he knows it by heart.

       *

The next day, their commanding officers line them up and try to figure out who peanut buttered the desk, but they have no evidence either way. Officer Von Fuckface glares at Shawn the entire time. It’s awesome.

As they file back out, Julian nudges Shawn and murmurs, “That guy’s nuts.”

Shawn grins.

“Technically, he’s legumes,” he says, drawing back to let everyone get ahead of them around the next corner. “Want to skip the last session before our friend causes me to burst into flames purely with the force of his hate?”

“Absolutely,” Julian says.

They’re almost to one of the side doors when Shawn’s dad steps out of a room in front of them. He’s in full uniform, and he’s got his arms folded over his chest.

“Peanut butter, Shawn?”

“Are you offering me lunch, Dad? Because I already ate the most spectacular frozen meal that the Santa Barbara Police Department has to offer.”

“It was pretty spectacular,” Julian offers. “It almost tasted like food.”

“Peanut butter,” his dad repeats. He looks at Julian. “Who do you belong to?”

“Detective Hardinson, sir,” Julian says, politely. “Sommerville PD.”

“Hardison? We liasoned with him about a case recently. He seems like a good man.”

“If you say so, sir,” Julian says.

Shawn’s dad raises his eyebrows for a moment.

“I hope you’re not letting Shawn get you in trouble.”

“Dad, I’m offended,” Shawn says. “I’m far too good at what I do to ever get in trouble.”

“Is that why I just caught you sneaking out?” his dad asks.

“We weren’t sneaking out, sir,” Julian says. He’s got this wholesome boy next door vibe that really works for him, especially when it comes to lying. “I was feeling sick, and Shawn was helping me outside to get some fresh air.”

“You seem like an okay kid, son,” Shawn’s dad says, “but I don’t believe a word of that. Why don’t you two go back where you’re supposed to be?”

They nod contritely and turn back, circling back to where they started.

“My dad called you ‘son,’” Shawn says.

“He did,” Julian agrees.

“He doesn’t even call me ‘son,’” Shawn continues, “and I’m his son.”

“You know,” Julian says, “I think there’s a lot of gray area around the phrase ‘where you’re supposed to be.’”

“Hmm. True. What if where I’m truly supposed to be is somewhere that’s very much not here?” Shawn leans heavily into the arm that Julian wraps around his shoulder, letting himself be guided towards the kitchen exit. Julian’s half a head taller than Shawn, and it makes Shawn feel things he’s like 89% sure he should not be feeling.

“Want to come back to my house?” Julian asks. “Neither of my parents will be back until late.”

“Yeah, yes,” Shawn says. “Let’s do that.”

 *

[some stuff happens]

Julian stares at him for a long moment before he slides a hand over Shawn’s knee.

“Please don’t punch me,” he whispers, then ducks down to kiss Shawn. Shawn presses up into it, making a truly embarrasing noise into the curve of Julian’s mouth. He has to resist the urge to climb on top of him.

“Do people—“ Shawn starts, then draws off to keep kissing him for a few more moments.

“People?” Julian murmurs.

“Uh, do people normally punch you after you do that?” he asks, pulling away just enough to see a wrecked smile on Julian’s face. “Because I think that’s a weird reaction to something amazing.”

“I’ve never done that, actually,” Julian says. “I imagined punching could be in the equation, if I misread something.”

“You didn’t,” Shawn says. “You really didn’t.”

*

FAST-FORWARD HOWEVER MANY YEARS AFTER JULIAN ACTUALLY BECOMES A COP AND ENDS UP WORKING A CASE WITH THEM

"Wait," Lassiter says. "You and him were--"

"Summer loves," Shawn says.

"Had me a blast," Julian adds, and Shawn smiles at him. Lassiter looks aghast.

"Oh, don't tell me you've never tasted the rainbow, Lass," Shawn says. "You've got bicurious written all over you."

"I don't--that's not what we're talking about," Lassiter says. He scrubs a hand over his face, which Shawn nicely does not point out as something both indicative of guilt or nervousness and something entirely un-Lassiter-like in nature. "Don't you think this is some sort of conflict of interest? You being on the case with someone you've. . ."

"Made sweet passionate love with?" Shawn offers.

"In that supply closet right over there, actually," Julian says.

"Aww, so many memories," Shawn says, "and so many uncomfortable positions. I've never been able to smell Pin-Sol again without my heart fluttering a little."

"I've never been able to mop without getting a little turned on," Julian admits.

"Oh, god, there are two of you," Juliet says. She's blushing a little, presumably from imagining the two of them co-mingling near some custodial equipment. It's kind of flattering.

"That's exactly what I mean," Lassiter says. "Conflict of interest."

"Hey, I never took any mystical, legally binding cop oaths. Besides, how many of your coworkers have you slept with?" Shawn asks. "Because I know the count is at least one, though I suspect it's significantly higher, knowing how hot and bothered you get over both firearms and paperwork."

Lassiter grits his teeth in Shawn's general direction. Julian looks amused.

"Fine," he says. "But if I see any funny business happening that could distract from this very serious case, I'm shutting this down."

"Whatever could you mean by funny business, Lassie?" Shawn asks. "Does that rule out my up and coming stand up act? Gus's interest in both miming and clowning? Or are we talking about shenanigans in general, here?"

Lassiter points at him, looking like he wants to say something, before storming past them.

AND THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE FIC IF I EVER LEARNED HOW TO WRITE CASE!FIC WHICH I DIDN’T AND LIKELY NEVER WILL 

[beyondlimitsonfoot]

Originally hiked:  6/2/2019

This past weekend I went on a solo hike in our backyard mountains to Eagle Rock.  Haven’t been hiking The last time I went hiking was Baden-Powell about a month ago which I haven’t written a blog yet, but I did put together a youtube vlog of the hike.  Check it out if you have a second.  There are several ways to visit Eagle Rock in the Santa Monica Mountains.  If you are looking to do a close by hike if you live in the area, this is a good training hike.  The easier route is actually from Trippet Ranch ($10 parking or park outside the park for a longer hike).

What’s in this Guide?

Hike Stats – Mileage, elevation gain, map of hike, weather

Directions – quick write-up on how to get to the trailhead

What to Pack – some gear, map and food recommendations

Blabbering – best part of the write up, my pictures and thoughts of the hike

1. Hike Stats

Location Mileage Elevation Gain Type Santa Monica Mountains 7.24 mi 1556 feet Out-and-back

map of hike

weather

Topanga – Weather Forecast

I ended up taking a rain jacket because the forecast stated that there was a chance of light rain.  I didn’t end up using it at all, but better to be safe then sorry.

2. Directions

To get to the trailhead –

From I-10 W, continue onto CA-1 N (Pacific Coast Highway), turn right onto Sunset Blvd. about 4.4 miles from I-10 W.  Drive 0.4 miles and turn left onto Palisades Dr.  Continue on Palisades Dr. for 2.5 miles until you hit Vereda De La Montura, turn left.  The trailhead is on the right, there is a sign that notates “Santa Ynez Canyon Trail”.  There is parking on the street, but not overnight – make sure you read the signs before you go.

3. What to Pack?

Since I did a day hike and it was very local, I packed minimally.  Here are some of the items that I took on this hike:

Backpack: Osprey Hydration Pack

Hiking Poles: REI Co-op Carbon Trekking Poles

Hydration Reservoir: Osprey Hydraulics Reservoir 2.5 L

First Aid Kit: Adventure Medical Kits Ultralight

Headlamp: Black Diamond Storm Headlamp

Hiking Shoes: KEEN Targhee II Mid Waterproof Hiking Boot

Satellite Messenger: Garmin inReach Exporer+

GPS Watch: Garmin Fenix 5X Plus+

Rain Jacket

Toilet paper/ziplock

Knife

Food

To-Go Wrap: Recipe

Mozarella cheese stick

Starkist Salmon Creations Lemon Pepper & Mayonnaise

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Check out a little more gear I have currently on my What’s in My Backpack Page& some Backpacking Gear Ideas.

4. My Blabbering

Before I get into blabbering a little more about this hike, why don’t you take a look at the YouTube video I put together for this hike.

I had been sick all week and was itching to get outdoors and decided that it was going to be for a hike not too far away from home.  I’ve done part of this trail before and thought it would be cool if there would be water in the creek and wanted to check it out.

The start of a local hike

I was the second car parked for the trailhead, which is awesome and that’s why I got there just after 6:30am.  As I finished off my coffee from Starbucks, I turned on the Garmin inReach because there was no service in the area.  Once I got it working, I sent a message to a couple people that I was beginning my hike.  When I send the message it sends the location I sent it from as well; one of the reasons having a satellite communicator is something I recommend anyone who goes outdoors and is out of cell phone range.

When you begin the trail there is a little pavement that later disappears into a single track dirt trail.  The first portion of the trail is all flat and goes alongside the creek.  I had to cross the creek several times, but to my knowledge there hasn’t been so much water that you would get wet.

I passed a sign that says “Waterfall” about 0.6 miles.  The trail eventually ascends up the side of the canyon and out into the open around 1.5 miles.

For the first 2.8 miles of the hike I did not see one soul.  And the thing about being the first person on the trail especially at this time of year is that you will hit a ton of spider webs.  For this reason, my hiking poles became my best friend on this hike.

At about 2 miles you will hit the Eagle Rock Canyon Fire Rd.  Not quite a trail, but still a great place to get a 360 degree view of the surrounding area.  This portion of the trail seems to be flat at first, but to reach Eagle Rock there is still about 700 feet elevation gain, however it’s very gradual.  At this point, I saw way too many people for my liking on a hike, but what can I expect when I’m in Los Angeles area.

I stood on Eagle Rock at a good time because I was the only one who ended up going to it.  There were several other people around with just different destinations.  The rock itself is made of sandstone, if you climb onto it, you can get quite a view of the area.

A little background

The original name of Eagle Rock was “Elephant Rock”, mainly because the way it looks to the human eye is like an elephant head when standing on the north side.

I bet if it was a clearer day I would have had some ocean views.  I quickly ate a little of my To-Go Wrap before I headed back down before even more crowds would show up.

On my way down

On my way out once I got back onto Santa Ynez Canyon Trail, I had a good mile or so that I didn’t see anyone on the trail.  I hadn’t hiked this long in a while, so my legs were definitely getting tired once I hit the 6 mile mark.  I finally ran into a couple families along the way just near the trailhead.  There was a group of teenagers who were hiking in and the last of them had a stick he was holding and asked me if I wanted to switch.  At first I didn’t get it, but it was a joke to switch my poles with his stick.  I said “good one”.  Thought it was a funny little story to share with you all.

All in all great hike to go on if you’re just trying to get a quick morning hike or afternoon hike in.

Happy Adventures,

Annette, Adventurer – Beyond Limits on Foot

Related links

Before I go on a hike I always check some other peoples write-ups.  Here are some others you may want to check out to read further:

Hikespeak – Eagle Rock from Trippet Ranch in Topanga State Park

Hiking Project – Eagle Rock Loop

SoCalHiker – Eagle Rock in Topanga State Park

Modern Hiker – Eagle Rock and Temescal Peak

Well I hope you loved reading along.  If you want to check out more on the hike, don’t forget to check my YouTube channel here: Beyond Limits on Foot YouTube Channel.

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Eagle Rock via Santa Ynez Canyon Trail - Santa Monica Mountains Originally hiked:  6/2/2019 This past weekend I went on a solo hike in our backyard mountains to Eagle Rock. 

[arkangel246-blog]

i’m not sure how to go about this, so i’m just gonna start & see where it takes me.  i’m going thru some serious depression right now.  if i told you everything i’ve been thru you’d more than likely accuse me of lying; no one person could possibly have dealt with so much.  that almost sounds like bragging, but believe me,  it’s not.  i definitely wonder why i’m still here, if not for some ‘purpose,’ but it all feels pretty pointless much of the time.  

i’m a 59 yr old mother of 2 sons, 2 almost-grown grandsons, and a lot of what’s eating at me right now is the fact that Mom’s Day (AND my b-day last month) came & went without more than a ‘happy birthday’ post from my daughter-in-law.   my youngest son hasn’t had anything to do with me for so long i didn’t expect anything from him, but usually my oldest will at least text me.  he did, after all, move me from the okc metro a few years ago 2 hours northeast to be closer to ‘family.’   at this point i’m not quite sure who’s pulling away from whom.  i just know i feel like an orphan without children, without family of any kind, and i don’t know how to really change anything.   people have said, ‘i’d go camp out on MY child’s front yard until we worked thru things!’ but i guess i’m afraid it might push them away even farther, and i guess i also feel responsible.  but part of me is also screaming that i haven’t seen a bar, dated any more creeps, or been 5150′ed in a decade so you’d think that’d count for something,  right?  

where to begin?  i guess we can work backwards, & start with telling you about my last marriage.  and i DO mean, LAST.  

i met kyle in october, ‘01, and like so many, i really thought i’d found my knight in shining armor.  a co-worker introduced us,  telling me, ‘he owns an OIL company, just built a new house, and is SOOO nice!  you really HAVE to meet him!’  a week later we were inseparable, picking out a ring that shocked even his mother who said, ‘he must REALLY love you, because he’s TIGHT!” (meaning he was cheap. i had no clue... truly).   i knew he drank every day, and truthfully, i liked to drink too, so it sorta seemed to be a match made in heaven (or hell).  but i soon came to realize he generally started drinking before noon (running a company provided him that option), and nothing i could say could convince him to wait til later in the day.  i could never drink every day, & seeing him passed out every night before the sun went down got old fast.  when i met his folks i quickly realized it was a learned habit.  his mom & dad, who’d handed the company over to kyle & his brother so they could retire, did the same, to the point of being insulted if you didn’t choose to drink with them at family get-togethers, no matter how early in the day.  so who was i to go against family tradition?  

we hadn’t been married more than a few months the first time he threw what would become his grown-ass-man, 2 yr old tantrum.  he jumped up & down, spat and frothed at the mouth through bared teeth, and called me the name i came to be known by almost daily:  worthless, piece of sh!t, C-U-Next-Tuesday.  my transgression?  an ANA autoimmune tests for lupus/sjogrens/scleroderma, (one, or the other or any combination) had come back positive causing my insurance premium to more than triple, which in turn affected the small business’s employees’ premiums.  

now any ‘normal’ person would’ve run like hell at that point.  keyword being ‘normal,’  of course.  it’s funny how you can think a previous husband has been ‘abusive,’  until you actually marry someone who makes the one before seem like Winnie the Pooh.   i don’t know the exact moment i started believing i could ‘fix’ him  --- that i could do this, that or the other thing well enough that he wouldn’t beat the hell outta me, but in less than a year i’d begun begging ambulance drivers to take me to different ER’s because so many of the doctors were all-too-familiar with me.  i know this was after one repeat ER doctor refused to treat me again, storming out of the area voicing loudly, ‘the women who go back to these men DESERVE what they get.’   that time i called a cab, tucked my tail between my legs, & yes, went back home to him feeling like surely i HAD done something to deserve it or that doctor really wouldn’t have said so.  

after EMG tests were positive for nerve damage in my arms & legs, & i was put in arm splints and prescribed a ton of neurontin, i moved into the 2nd bedroom.  we had gone through a brief separation, both filing for divorce, but a combination of not really having anywhere to go & being so sick (both physically AND emotionally) i found myself back with him (1st of many times).  now here’s a word of warning for anybody who might be in similar circumstances at some point.  if you reunite with a spouse and drop divorce proceedings, LISTEN when your attorney tells you to make certain he ALSO drops the divorce WITH PREJUDICE; i did not.  never in my wildest dreams did i consider that someone who ‘loved’ me so much could possibly put the screws to me, until, a couple months later he called me from the master bedroom to say, ‘SURPRISE! i DIVORCED YOUR ASS on tuesday!  how’s it feel?’  

during a time when i was almost bedfast he’d gone back to court, had his friends testify against me claiming that i chose not to show up, and yes, the divorce was final.  since i had been served months before when we both had filed for divorce and his attorney had dismissed the proceedings WITH PREJUDICE, he was able to completely finalize it without my knowledge whatsover.   and it didn’t hurt that his company had an attorney on the payroll.  

there were times when i believed he wanted me around as long as he wasn’t responsible for my bills & i didn’t cost him very much.  i cooked, cleaned, & took excellent care of endless cats he & a friend continued to bring in.  i’ll never understand why he did this.  i learned at one point that he had kicked his 1st wife’s small dog to death years before when she went out with girlfriends he hadn’t approved of, so why he was so good with all these cats i’ll never know.  at one point we were up to 11 of them, 100% indoors, with white carpet, and in able to do all that needed done i was being prescribed almost every controlled substance there was.  i bathed several each month, while he’d toss an old towel on top of any hacked hairballs indicating that i had a mess to clean up.    

after our divorce was done without my knowledge i did get an attorney who was going to re-file & make the judge aware of what he’d done, but he agreed at that time to pay for everything until my disability went through, which he did. we hadn’t been legally married long enough that he might’ve been required to do even that much, so i accepted that.  he paid for a halfway decent apartment on the southwest side, but even then, he continued to come over when he felt the need to ‘vent.’   i had barely had the utilities turned on when it all went sideways & to this day i don’t know how he didn’t kill me.   i knew from past experience he was going to get my phone when he headed towards the bedroom so i tried to get past him before he could.   my next thought was, ‘he’s really killed me this time,’  when i found myself sliding upside down on the wall, coming down hard on my head.  it’s the only time in my life when i really had that slow motion experience so many speak of.  surprisingly i was able to shake my head and found myself alive, slowly able to get up with him screaming, ‘get the F up!  i never F-ing touched you!’  his perfect handprint was left in purple on my upper arm by the next day, along with a purple ridge along my back ribs from a ridge between the kitchen and pantry where i’d been thrown.  i was able to get him out of the apartment that night, thanking all the powers that be that i was ‘ok,’  only to go down like a ton of bricks the next day in the parking lot.  i heard and felt a loud POP in my neck....  like a rubber band popping...   and after some maneuvering showed i wasn’t gonna be able to even get on my hands & knees to crawl neighbors carried me back inside and called 9-1-1.  

tests showed a bone fragment in the sub-arachnoid space at the base of my skull, & i was in & out of a wheelchair for quite a while.  doctors knew my situation, and just sorta avoided the expected questions probably figuring i’d lie anyway.  the truth was my disability had yet to come through at that time, and if i’d put him in jail for that i’d have been homeless.  HOMELESS, with very limited use of my arms & legs even after all the cervical epidurals allowable and tons of physical therapy.   my mother had visited once long enough to assure me that i’d have to go into a nursing home if i stayed in the wheelchair because she wasn’t able (or willing) to take care of me.  so i taped a cell to myself at times to keep it within arm’s reach, and crawled to clean the litter box & feed myself for a while, but somehow, i regained the use of everything in time.  

except my brain.  if i hadn’t proven to be a total idiot already i’d claim landing on my head caused brain damage.  

not too long after my disability was approved while in the same apartment i found myself in a different kind of fight.  i took trash out to the dumpster around the corner - and i thought i locked the door behind me.  i generally did, but honestly, i still don’t know for sure.  i came back into the apartment & down the hallway into my bedroom where somebody grabbed the back of my head ramming me headfirst into a full-length mirror shattering it.   the next thing i remembered was waking up in the hallway in a mess of goo and yuck, disoriented, trying to figure out what had happened.  every movement hurt like hell, and once in the bathroom i saw my face was cut & bruised, & could feel other injuries starting to sting.   i cleaned up blood & the broken mirror pieces, took a bath & when i started to realize what had happened, called my son.  “It was KYLE, Mom.  KYLE did this!’  he said when i told him i thought i’d been raped.  i promised him i’d call 911, which i did, and a complete rape kit was done along with over 200 pictures taken.   afterwards i called Kyle & told him i’d been raped, and he simply hung up the phone.  did he HEAR me? it wasn’t unusual for him to be so drunk by that time of night i couldn’t even understand him, and sometimes he had just hung up on me or passed out on the phone.   one thing i DID know is that he was impotent.  i had been torn vaginally AND rectally, and he had pretty much zero interest in sex, so i couldn’t fathom how he might’ve been responsible for this.   so without another phone call to him, i made arrangements to move out of state nearer my kids into a secure apartment bldg.  as we were leaving town my son called him to say we’d left cats in the apartment and i was gone.  

you’d think that would’ve been the end of Kyle & me, wouldn’t you? but no.  if i’d been smart, you bet, but nobody ever accused me of having good sense.  

long before he & i were really over a warrant was issued for his arrest for sexual assault, i had to plead his case & his innocence fearing for my life.  i’d shoot up his house and be 5150′ed when i couldn’t quite bring myself to blow my brains out with a 9mm.  i’d called my sons that horrific night begging them to tell me they loved me at which time 1 said, ‘you’ve got a wrong number’,  and the other said, ‘go for it, Mom.’   it was several more years before i finally did leave with bruising severe enough to require a CT scan of my face.   PTSD has been added to my list of maladies & i wake up screaming on a fairly regular basis, the nightmares i can remember too gruesome for words.   kyle drank himself to death a couple years ago, and oddly enough, even though i hadn’t had any contact with him in 5 yrs i knew when he died.  i woke up middle of the night with something telling me to google his full name, & when i did i found a classified with his sister handling his estate, the company attorney listed as well.   when i emailed his longtime drinking buddy i was told kyle had ‘gone off the deep end,’  and that house he’d demanded i keep the white carpet pristine in had been 3 feet deep in beer cans when he was found 5-6 days after his apparent demise.  i’m guessing the cats feasted on his meaty parts.  

my doctor asked me recently how i felt when i learned of his death, & i told him that i’d cried.  the man had never owned a ‘used’ car,  or lived in anything except new homes.  he’d been handed an oil & gas company right out of college that was barely getting by, most likely because both he & his brother were drunk daily before noon.   it was just a total waste of a life that could’ve been used to do so much good.  a complete & total waste.  

the day i had someone helping me get my things to leave kyle had come into the house from the back alley with his buddy way earlier than usual, and taken off in his buddy’s truck like lightning seeing me packing.  i’d already gotten an emergency protective order but with the garage on the alley he’d had no way of knowing i hadn’t just eaten a few extra oxy’s and passed back out (typical) after i kneed him in the groin to get him off me, his hands from around my throat.    it wasn’t unusual for kyle & his buddy to drink in the garage daily, after about 3 or so, but it was noon when they’d come in.  i remembered sending kyle & his buddy pics of my swelling face the night before, telling them,  ‘never again.  he’s never gonna touch me or anybody else again.’  my knees went a little weak recalling the usual threats.  he’d told me over & over again how easy it’d be for my body to disappear, that it would make something called ‘condensate’ and nobody would ever find me when i was disposed of at a well site.  i couldn’t help but wonder if this was that time.  

there are probably still people surprised that i finally left and stayed gone, but that was 7 1/2 years ago & somehow the thought of what might have been kept me away.   he’d sent me a friend request the summer before his death, which i promptly deleted.  DELETE, DELETE, DELETE.  no, thank, you.  

[jishwatylrandtop]

Open Late Pt. 2--Josh Dun

pt. 1

The first date did not go as planned, but Josh won’t let some bitchy waitress get in the way.

Words:

TW: Panic Attack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Your POV)

     You spent the next two days sitting in your apartment. Never had you been so embarrassed on a first date, and the humility is what kept you locked in your apartment sulking and eating cartons of ice cream with a fork because apparently all your dignity left the minute you walked out of that restroom at that cafe. If you were making a list, this date would have to be at the top of the list of ‘Worst Dates in the History of Mankind.’ An exaggeration? Maybe, but that’s what it felt like to you.

     The first thing you had done after that disaster of a date, despite taking a three hour depression nap, was call Lili, your best friend and co-owner. The quickly building self-doubt and insecurity that had been stewed up by your encounter with a certain waitress had quickly overshadowed the guilt that was bound to show up by calling her while she was on vacation. It took her longer than normal to pick up her phone, making the guilt bubbling up intensify ten-fold, but it eventually connected. “Y/n? Hi!” 

“Hi, Lili.”

“Oh, no what’s wrong?” Her ability to discover your mood was not surprising. It was a testament to how well you knew each other and how much you’d been through with her by your side.

“I’m sorry for calling you on vacation. I just don’t know what to do now.”

“It’s alright, y/n. Tell me what happened.” You almost wanted to hang up and tell her to forget it. You thought it was ridiculous and embarrassing that you had let that stupid waitress get to you, but your insecurity and hurt forced you to recount the whole date to your friend, and by the time you were done, more tears had been added to the dried tear tracks, and the yearning to crawl into bed and never leave out of embarrassment was five times stronger than it had been before the call. Thinking about it, that might be karma.

“Y/n,” Lili started, “I love you, but you are ridiculous sometimes.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, that waitress shouldn’t have done that. It was a bitchy ting to do, but don’t you see, y/n, you don’t need to be jealous of her because she was jealous of you.”

“What do you mean, Lili?”

“She said and did all that to try to get his attention, and then she said all that to you because it wasn’t working. She was jealous that this Josh was on a date with you and not her.”

So you’re saying the only reason that she was trying to sabotage my date was because Josh is hot and she was jealous of me, and that the only reason it worked is because I let her get under my skin?”

“Yes.” It was a simple statement, no hesitation from your best friend. You hadn’t thought about it that way, but now that you are, you realize how right she is, and how ridiculously insecure you are. “Y/n, I love you girl, but you can’t let your insecurities ruin this for you. He sounds like a real nice guy, which is the exact opposite of your previous relationship if you needed reminding. I really hope you can find this guy again because you deserve to be happy, y/n. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve someone like him. Please don’t let this one stupid waitress ruin this for you.”

“I’ll think about it, Lili. Thank you.”

“No problem, y/n.” She responded, obviously latching onto the hesitation in your voice in your last reply. “I’ll be back at the clinic in ten days. Please don’t die of embarrassment between now and then.” She chuckled as she had hung up the phone. 

     That brings you to now, two days after the date and three cartons of ice cream later. Despite your best friends advice and perspective, you were hesitant to try and connect with Josh again. You didn’t know how were going to explain everything to him even if you had the courage to face him after the fool you made of yourself. It’s not like it mattered, you had convinced yourself that he had moved on. There’s no way that an amazing guy like him could like someone like you. You had to convince yourself to just forget him. He wouldn’t want you now anyway. 

    Halfway through your fourth carton of ice cream, your phone rang. Not bothering to look at the caller ID you answer, expecting some sort of emergency at the clinic. “Hello” you mumble through a mouthful of ice cream, “this is y/n. What can I do for you?” 

“Y/N, it’s Josh.” You almost hung up as you heard his voice, but the panicked tone caused you to wait. “There’s something wrong with Jim. He won’t eat or move, and if I touch him he whimpers in pain. I’m too afraid to move him.”

“Text me your address” you reply as you spring up from bed to change and grab your emergency supplies. “Let me grab my things. I’ll be over as soon as possible.” 

“Thank you so much.” After hanging up your phone, you finish getting dressed and making yourself more presentable by actually brushing your hair and putting a little bit of makeup on to remove any signs of the previous sleepless nights. With a quick glance at the clock on your phone, you grab your bag and head out to the address illuminating your phone screen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Josh’s POV)

     I waited a couple days, still unsure whether or not to call her. Considering how things went, I doubted that she would want me to call, but I had to contact her. So I waited two days, whether that was to give her or myself more time I’m still not sure, but I waited and I planned. So two days after our date I called her, telling her that Jim was hurt or sick and that I needed her help. I just hope she could forgive me lying. Then, after I hung up, it was back to waiting. 

    It only took twenty minutes for her to show up, and if the panicked knocks weren’t enough of a clue that y/n was standing outside my door the voice that rang out “Josh, I’m here” through the door confirmed the fact. As I opened the door, she stormed in, bag in hand and stethoscope around her neck. “Take me to him” she said as I shut the door behind her. 

“Um about that...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Your POV)

     “um about that...” he started, rubbing his neck portraying his nervousness, “I may have lied.”

“What?”

“Jim’s not actually sick or hurt. I just needed an excuse to see you. I didn’t know if you would want to speak with me after what happened so I lied to get you here.” Great, you thought to yourself, no sick dog and no reason to stay. You wanted to leave as soon as possible, so you turned attempting to go for the door before he stepped into your path, making you collide with his solid chest instead of the door. You refused to acknowledge the slight blush on your cheeks caused by the unintentional but not disappointing feel you got of his abs as you shoved yourself away. 

“Then there’s no reason to stay.” 

“Please, y/n. Hear me out.”

With a deep sigh, you reply “okay sure, but I won’t be here for long. I’m not happy you lied to me.”

     He lead you further into his house, giving you a few minutes to look around. It was quaint but not so small that you felt trapped. The inside walls were painted in nice earth tones, mostly tans and browns, but it was pleasant. The furniture was nice, most looking relatively new and expensive but not flashy. It was a nice apartment, put together in a pleasing way, but something about the place made it seemed like it was a place to stay, not really a home. Josh lead you to brown sectional in the living room, where upon closer inspection, you could see Jim sleeping, curled up by the arm. 

     “Please sit.” It wasn’t so much a command as a plea, but you sat anyway. “I want to apologize again for the lie. It’s not a habit of mine to lie to people I care about, but after that disaster of a date, I didn’t know if you would talk to me again. This seemed like the easiest way to get you here.”

“Yeah you’re right about the fact that I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“Why? Did I do something wrong? Because if I did I apologize for that too.”

“No, Josh, it wasn’t you. I just couldn’t stand to face you after I embarrassed myself like that. It was so childish of me to let that waitress get into my head like that. I didn’t want to see you because I was ashamed.”

“Ashamed? You have no reason to be ashamed. That waitress had no right to do that. I don’t even know what she said to you, but y/n, it doesn’t matter.” He gave you a smile. “Y/n, I was there with you because I wanted to be. I was there with a beautiful girl who was happy to he with just Josh and not Josh Dun the drummer. I was there with a smart, funny, caring girl who deserves the world.” His mini-speech left you breathless with tears in your eyes. 

“You barely know me, Josh. Trust me, I’m not worth the trouble.”

“You’re right, y/n. I don’t know you that well, but I want to. I want to get to know you, y/n.”

“I don’t deserve it” you replied, dropping your eyes from his face to your hands which were twitching nervously in your lap. “I’m broken. You shouldn’t have to deal with my brokenness. I don’t want to do that to you.”

He gave you a sad smile, and grabbed your hands. “No one’s broken, y/n, just a little bent, but that’s okay.” He smiled again. “I’d like to take you out again. If that’s okay?”

“I’d like that.” 

“Awesome.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Two days later, and Josh was leading you into the nicest restaurant in Columbus. You had found it odd that Josh had called you hours before your date to tell you to wear your nicest outfit and to be ready to go at 7:30, and now you knew why. Bel Amour restaurant was the best restaurant in Columbus. It had five stars and a waiting list of a year, so you were baffled by the fact that Josh had somehow been able to get you two a table in a matter of days. You were way out of your comfort zone. You weren’t a fancy person, but when Josh smiled at you while dragging you to the entrance, you couldn’t bring yourself to turn around. A waiter led you both to a table in the back corner. “Josh, how did you get us in here so quickly?” The question had been bothering you since you pulled up at the valet.

“I, uh, have some pull around here. Being a famous drummer in a band from Columbus kinda gives me some perks.” He laughed nervously. “Why? Is it too much?”

“No. I just--” you took a deep breath, “I just don’t feel like I belong here.” He gave you a confused look. “I don’t belong in fancy places like this.”

“Of course you do, y/n. You may not think the same, but you’re the most beautiful woman in this room.” You blushed. 

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. Y/n, you belong in a museum.”

“That was super cheesy.” You laughed in return. 

“Well, I’m a very cheesy guy” he replied with a wink and a laugh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     The dinner went well, and there were no stupid waitresses trying to ruin the date. Josh was a gentleman, always asking questions and waiting for your responses. The conversation flowed easily and he often had you in fits of laughter. It was one of the best dates you’ve ever been on as the food was just as great as the company. At the end of the date, Josh paid the bill telling you not to worry about it that it was a date and it was his pleasure to treat such a beautiful girl. 

     You took his hand as you left the restaurant, but the flashing lights of paparazzi cameras caught you and Josh off guard. There was nothing but flashing lights and lots of yelling. “Josh Dun! Over here!” “Who’s your friend?” “What’s your name?” “Josh! How’s Tyler?” It was bizarre. Never in your life had anything like this happened to you. It was only when Josh tightened his grip on your hand and shoved through the crowd directly into his waiting car that you had realized that the two of you had been standing completely still for about one minute surrounded by the paparazzi. 

     He drove in silence, the air tense and his knuckles white against the steering wheel. It was only ten minutes back to your apartment, but the whole ride was spent in silence, but Josh, ever the gentleman, insisted that he walk you up to your apartment. “I’m sorry” he said as you unlocked your door. 

“It’s okay,” you said, turning around to face him. The look on his face caused you to pause. His eyes were downcast and watery, and he had the saddest look on his face. 

“No, y/n, I’m so sorry. This was supposed to be a good date, and it was ruined.” Years of dealing with anxiety immediately led you recognize his rapid breathing and twitching limbs. 

“Josh?” He looked up, his eyes wide. “Come inside. Let me help you.” 

You gently took his arm and led him to your couch. Despite their excitement, your two dogs obeyed your command to sit and stay. Normally when there’s new people, you let your dogs say hi, but you didn’t want to overwhelm Josh any further. “Sit here, Josh.” You sat him on the couch, pulled a blanket over his shoulders. “Relax, Josh. It’s okay. The date wasn’t ruined. I loved it, and I had a wonderful night.” 

“You did?” He looked at you again, his breathing evening out a little.

“Yeah, I did. And I’d love to do it again.” With those words, he relaxed a little, sitting back against the couch and giving you a small smile. 

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Awesome.” You huffed a laugh, and grabbed a seat next to him. 

“You okay?” You asked, leaning against his shoulder and nuzzling against him. He grabbed the blanket and wrapped his arm around you. 

“I am now.”

 You turned the TV on, and the two of you settled on watching some old black and white movies. “Hey Josh?”

“Yeah?”

“I really did enjoy tonight, despite the paparazzi.”

“Me too, y/n.” There was another bout of silence before he sucked in a nervous breath. “Y/n?” 

“Yeah Josh?” You looked up at him from your place cuddled into his side. 

“Can I kiss you?” You chuckled at the obvious nervousness.

“Yeah.” 

It was slow. He wanted to give you plenty of time to back out. When your lips touched, its like time slowed down. It was just you, him, and the feeling of your lips together. The kiss only lasted about thirty seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. You broke apart, a slow smile spreading across your face. He smiled back as he gave a little laugh. You spent the next hour cuddled against Josh, watching movies and laughing and talking. At 11:30, Josh regretfully says that he has to get home, and he stands and makes his way to your door. You give him another kiss, the height difference causing you to stand on your tippy toes. “I had a really great time tonight, y/n.”

“Me too.”

He gave you a shy smile and asked “are you free next Friday?”

“Why? Got something planned?”

“Yeah, a date with a hot girl hopefully.”

“Oh, then yeah I’m free.”

“Awesome, I’ll pick you up at 6:00.” With that, he winked and turned down the hallway, leaving you speechless and blushing. You closed your door, turning to lean against it, letting out a breath and smiling to yourself. You spend the next twenty minutes getting ready for bed, and as you lay down, you can’t help but replay this night over and over. You couldn’t contain your smile. The buzzing of your phone drew you from your daydream. 

Josh:

I had a great time tonight. Can’t wait to fall in love with you!

You smiled again, and it’s with that smile that you fell asleep, getting the best sleep you’ve had in a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: thanks so much for the patience. I might do a part three so let me know if that’s something you might want. Feedback is not only welcome but appreciated. 

tag list: @holdingontomytacobell @its-a-me-eva

[calliecat93]

RWBY V6 CH8 Review: Dead End

Last week, Kerry revealed that the finale would take place on January 26th, which since this week was a holiday, totals to a 13 episode season. It's one episode short from last year, but hey 13 is a standard number for an anime season, so fair enough. Also sorry that this took so long, I had... stuff happen with the blog the past few days. But it's fixed now, I posted Chapter 7 yesterday, and now it's time to cover Chapter 8! Lets get to it!

Overview

Team RWBY, Qrow, and Maria at at Argus' military base, but are denied access by the... bizarre twin guards. I think that they may be based on The Cards form Alice in Wonderland, and it'll be more clear why in a bit. The heroes are forced to play the Weiss Schnee card, and it gets the guards to agree to fetch their commanding officer. But to the ire of all the Winter fans out there... it's not her. Maria thinks that she knows who it is though, and they happen to be enemies because said CO put Maria on the advanced screening list for life for taking cashews on a flight. Sheesh. But hey, maybe Maria's right and she's dead! Funniest moment of the episode BTW.

The CO of the Argus base is an egotistical elderly woman known as Caroline Cordovan. She displays much of the attitude that we expect from Atlas characters. Egotistical, boastful, authoritarian, and sees Atlas as the greatest kingdom of all. She had already refused to help JNR, who are also there, and it's pretty clear that she's not going to help the group still. They try to reason with her by explaining that they know that Atlas isn't at fault for Beacon, but it only makes it worst. Cordovan DOES offer to take Weiss home if she's come to her senses... but isn't going to do the same for her friends of 'questionable nature' while looking at Blake. Wow, she's a racist. Lovely. When Weiss questions this, Cordovan slams the gates int heir faces. I agree with Maria's previous sentiment, she's a she-devil. I'm pretty sure that she's supposed to be the Queen of Hearts considering her personality, which would explain the guards being the Cards.

With the plan reaching... well, a dead end, Qrow calls it quits and goes to drink. So he obviously learned nothing form Brunswick! JNR just suggests coming up with a plan without him, pointing out that they still have Ozpin. Que an awkward beat and we cut to later... where Jaune punches a hole in his sister's wall. I hope she has home insurance. So yeah... JNR doesn't take the truth well. Even Nora is pissed off. I'm... mixed about this. It's very understandable for them to be angry and upset, especially considering they lost Pyrrha due to this. But it does bring up a minor critique I have. The response to Salem being un-killable and Ozpin not having a true plan have all ha done reaction: anger and giving up. Some took ti worst than others, but it's still the same. The only one who hasn't is Ruby, which helps but it makes the fact that no one is wondering 'well maybe we can win without killing Salem' or 'maybe we can ask Jinn if there's a way to defeat Salem and not destroy her' hasn't been brought up once. It gets annoying when, even though you understand why everyone is reacting the way that they are, no one has had any logical thought since and continue to spew in their negativity, like Qrow is. All I'm saying is let the reactions be a bit more diverse, if only to keep this from getting either predictable or just irritating.

Oscar tries to calm everyone down, pointing out that they aren't the bad guys in this. Jaune questions this however before storming over to Oscar, wanting to know if he had known about this the whole time. Even when Weiss tries to say he didn't, Jaune grabs the farmboy and slams him into the wall, questioning where his loyalties stand and even if it's even Oscar that they're talking to. Throughout, Oscar is clearly terrified and it only ends when Ruby calls out Jaune. To the paladin's credit, this get shim to realize what he's doing and is clearly horrified. He backs away before going upstairs, Nora and Ren soon following and wanting to be left alone. The RWBY girls also scatter, leaving a clearly distraught Oscar. Great for none of you to check if he's okay or not. Doing a bang up job ladies.

As the others go to get food, Ruby goes outside to an absolutely beautiful butterfly garden. She's trying to call Qrow to find out where he is, but she gets nothing and throws her Scroll in frustration. It's clear that all of this is beginning to get to Ruby, something that Maria, who had gone back there to avoid the yelling, sees as well. Ruby explains how with everything happening, she's at a loss of what to do. Maria can't help with that, or at least she can't without it defeating the purpose, but she does offer to help Ruby feel better if she's sick of not knowing about things. Yes my friends, we are FINALLY going to talk about the Silver Eyes! I have waited for this for so long!!!

When Ruby explains what she does know, aka more or less nothing Maria explains that there isn't much known about the bloodline. She was lucky as she was trained by her father, who we can assume was also a Silver Eyed Warrior. He taught Maria all that she knew and it led her to scoring higher on the Huntress Exam than any other applicant without having to even attend one of the academies. But if the Silver Eyes are so powerful, why are they so rare? Simple, they were hunted down and killed by Salem. This is why Maria took on a masked persona and hid things such as her name, to hide her powers and not be a target. Of course, we all know how that ended, and Maria credits her survival to both her training and her Semblance. The latter is revealed to be what she dubs Preflexes, which is more or less Spider Man's Spidey Sense. She can sense things before they happen and can be one move ahead of her opponent due to it. Awesome!

Ruby is all set to learn to vaporize monsters with her eyeballs... which earns her a bonk on the head. I guess Maria attended the Rafiki School of Mentorship. The Silver Eyes aren't fueled by the desire to destroy Grimm, it is powered by the desire to protect people. On every case where Ruby used the powers thus far (Pyrrha's death, Jaune facing Cinder, The Apathy), she did so because she was trying to save someone and it allowed her to freeze the Wythern and vaporize the Apathy.  Maria goes on to explain that where the Grimm were created by the God of Darkness, the light of the Silver Eyes comes form his brother, the God of Creation. How does Maria know this? Well remember in Jinn's vision when the God turned into the dragon for the first time? We saw a burst of light that vaporized the Grimm. I thought that was just the effects of the transformation.. wow I feel stupid! That is an awesome detail!

Now since the light only effects Grimm, any training that Ruby can get is going to be a trial by fire. But Maria does suggest that the young huntress can work to create a mindset that she can turn to in order to unleash the power when she needs to. But Ruby is confused by something. The light on works on Grimm, right? Well if you recall, Ruby was able to use it on Cinder back in Haven... IDK how she remembers this since Emerald knocked her out immediately, but still. Now we all know why that is, but Ruby doesn't. Which has Maria suggest that maybe there's something that the huntress isn't seeing. But anymore talk comes to an end as Ruby and JNR are informed that Oscar has gone missing. Well... shit.

Review

Of the episodes so far, it's safe to say that this may be the weakest. But only in terms of it being an exposition/build-up episode instead of an action episode or something along those lines. I can't call it bad though as a lot of good came out of this episode. The first half was pretty dang funny. Caroline is terrible, but her boastful personality makes her entertaining to watch at the very least. Maria was comedy gold here with her rant about the cashews and the 'Maybe she's dead!” line. Again, funniest moment in the episode. It's nice that we got to have a couple of laughs before the heavy stuff came back in because... haha, IDT we're going to be having many more light-heated moments in these last five episodes. Call it a hunch.

As I said, while I would like for the group to have some cold hard logic hit them already, Team JNR's reactions are completely understandable. Jaune especially. Really, he's got the most reason out of everyone aside form maybe Qrow to be angry. Remember, Pyrrha got killed because of this and even she wasn't aware of all the details when the whole Fall Maiden thing happened. We can argue about the circumstances all that we want, Pyrrha still died trying to do what was right, and ever since everything that Jaune has done has been to not let her death be in vain. So finding out that all of that was for nothing? I can't blame him for being angry or how he reacted. Am I defending him? Hell no. Oscar did NOTHING wrong. The way that Jaune manhandled him was horrifying and seeing this young kid clearly terrified was just wrong. But it still makes sense hwy Jaune reacted that way all things considered, and to his credit he DID realize what he was doing and stopped. And we find out that Oscar is gone, it is very clear that Jaune feels remorseful for taking his anger out on Oscar and of what could happen to him now. Out of everyone so far aside from Oscar, I sympathize with Jaune the most.

Who I have lost my sympathy for however is Qrow. He is just...a  mess. Brunswick was bad enough, but now? Look, I know how hard it is to let go of addiction, especially considering how bad of a mental state that Qrow is in. But after how his drinking caused him to be so out of it that he failed to realize that the kids that he's responsible for to get killed, it's becoming more and more difficult to feel bad for him. He SAW what his carelessness could have led to, and even now he hasn't learned. Because of it, Ruby has to be the adult trying to keep everyone going despite all the circumstances, and she has to try and find him on top of everything else. It's at the point where this can't go unaddressed anymore. Ruby or someone needs to give Qrow an intervention and outright tell him to stop. I imagine that it'll get ugly, but if something isn't done soon, then most likely Qrow is going to get either himself or someone else killed. It's time for him to stop the self-loathing.

Okay, lets try to talk about something more positive, like the Silver Eyes! First, I need to say this again. Maria has been a delight as a character and has just fit right in with the cast. Funny, sassy, practical, she's been a great addition and is the kind of character that Ruby needs to mentor her. I loved hearing some details about her past, like her relationship with her father and how she became a Huntress. It's exposition, sure, but it's used to show Maria's experience and wisdom. We learn more about a character that so far the fandom really loves, and it serves a purpose. We also see her intelligence as she pieced together about the source of the Silver Eyes powers just form Jinn's vision. She is very much what Ruby needs. She's an optimistic character, but also firm and wise. She can push Ruby in the right direction without being too harsh or too nice. Hopefully she sticks around after this season because she's such a welcome addition.

As for Ruby, she continues to be a bright spot in the season. She's trying so hard, but the weight is really beginning to get to her. She had to stop Jaune from physically hurting someone, is being ignored by Qrow and his unreliableness is clearly upsetting her, and she feels like she's letting everyone down due to how hopeless everything seems. She is meant to be an inspiring, hopeful figure and she is trying her damnest to be this way. After the initial plan went up in smoke, her first response is to comfort Weiss and again assure her that they won't leave her side. She's stepped up as a leader, but she's till a 16, maybe 17 if Lindsay can be believed, year old girl in a very difficult situation and with Qrow intoxicated and Oz gone, she has to be the adult. She has to look after everyone and keep them on track. She has to try and encourage them and not give up, and so far that doesn't seem to be working. This girl has so much pressure on her because everyone else has given up, and it's starting to weigh on her. Will this be the season where she breaks down? It's hard to say, but I do think that before the volume is over, we're going to see some kind of reaction out of her.

On the upside however, after so long, Ruby is finally learning about the Silver Eyes. She's asking questions. She's excited to learn to use this power. She actively WANTS to learn about it. This is what I have been hoping for ever since the end of V3. This is the moment where we are seeing Ruby beginning to go from a rookie fresh out of Beacon long before she was ready, to taking the steps to becoming the Huntress that she has always wanted to be. In light of everything and even with her doubts, Ruby has stepped up as a leader, has yet to give up despite how hopeless it looks, and is still determined to do what's right. Now she has a mentor to teach her to use her gift, something unique to her, and hopefully that can help ignite the will to continue on. Ruby's goal has always been to be a Huntress to help people, and overtime that has gone form naive ambition to seeing how dark the world can be, and wanting to do whatever is possible to do good because it's the right thing to do. Ozpin was right about what he said in V5, she truly is an inspiring figure, and this is why. Even in face of the hopelessness and everyone around her giving up, she hasn't. Will she? It's hard to say, but there is no doubt that no matter what tries to keep Ruby down, she'll face it and she will somehow pull everyone up with her. This volume, more than any other, has made that clear and I love it.

What helps that entire scene, of course, is both the setting and the music. The garden is absolutely beautiful, having a very calming atmosphere, which after the blowup was very much needed. The butterflies also added to the beauty and calmness. Apparently blue butterflies can symbolize change, and butterflies in general can symbolize life. You see it in anime all the time. It's perfect symbolism here as Ruby seeks to change herself and become a Silver Eyed Warrior, so it's a very welcome touch. And the music... gosh the music is so beautiful and serene. Jeff and Alex once more killed it, especially with the new renditions of Red Like Roses and This Will be the Day. Very nostalgic and it added to this being about Ruby taking that next step forward. Very well done!

Then of course we have the ending. Oscar is missing. For the moment, we will assume that he has left of his own volition due to the manhandling and the questioning of his identity, which was already a problem for him. And... is anyone surprised? I mean Jaune shoving him alone would be enough reason to leave. But the way everyone keeps seeing him as Ozpin, directing the anger at him even if unintentionally, and how no one seemed to care about how he's felt about all of this. Only Ruby ever did, and Qrow made sure to kill that. Of course he would leave. No one trusts him and now even he's questioning who he is and what to do now that it looks like they will inevitably lose. Hopefully he will be found safe and sound and will come back. And hopefully everyone will apologize, or Jaune will at the very least. For now, all that we can do is worry about his safety until Saturday roles around.

Final Thoughts

This may not have been the heaviest chapter, but it was still enjoyable. The first half was entertaining and did a good job of setting up the next obstacle for our heroes. The second half was very much emotional and Jaune's reaction was pretty much what we were expected. The exposition was welcomed and added to the scene instead of dragging it down. And of course we're left on a cliffhanger that is mean, but not 'Weiss just got stabbed' levels of mean. Overall, while it may be the weakest episode of the volume so far, I still give it two thumbs up! Great work!

[cheekpockets-q]

Jealousy // The Boyz

genre: fluff/jealousy

word count: about 400 per member

pairing: Q x reader, Hyunjae x reader, Eric x reader, Younghoon x reader

summary: the members start to get jealous when you’re around another member

Q

Q always knew himself well. He knew that he may not be the best singer within the group, but he is definitely the best dancer and has many well-known charms. Thus, he didn’t consider himself to be the jealous type when the other boys would be around you, and he knew each of them well enough to know they wouldn’t make any advances on you. However, he didn’t expect your relationship with Younghoon to be so close. Of course, Q knew that Younghoon was the visual out of the group, but he also knew that you wouldn’t go directly for looks. Over time, he found out that you both bonded over video games, watching you and Younghoon teasingly push each other with the gaming controllers to try and win. Q wasn’t the best at video games, thus he never felt the need to be competitive. However, watching the way Younghoon would try to tickle you to distract you or wrap his arms around you to cover your eyes, Q would feel confused and would often try to talk you out of playing video games with Younghoon by constantly wanting to have “dance practices” or always needing to “buy groceries”. He would always try to jokingly steal you away by quite literally picking you up and making you have one on one time with him. Later, when you were visibly frustrated with his behavior, he’d sulk and admit his jealousy when you were both constantly close to one another. Seeing your face soften and hearing you giggle, he knew straight away that he’d been silly to be jealous. He’d slump to the floor with his head hung between his knees, scratching his head and glancing up cautiously with an apologetic smile. You’d walk over to him and give him a soft flick to the head and sit in his lap, allowing his arms to wrap around you with your head resting on his chest.

Q: “I’m sorry, Y/N…I know I’m not usually jealous, but that doesn’t make up for what I did. I promise I won’t make you do any more dance practices for a whole week, okay?”  

Y/N: “Aaand?”

Q: “And I’ll buy all of our groceries.” He smiled, nuzzling his nose into your hair and breathing you in. “Even your favorite snacks too. Just stay with me, alright?”

Hyunjae

Hyunjae knew that out of many of the members, he was probably one of the most well rounded. He was great at singing, he was good-looking, and he was also good at dancing. Thus, he didn’t understand how you and Kevin would always be singing duets together, or why you’d say you were busy because you were going to practice ANOTHER song with Kevin. He knew that Kevin’s English was great, and that’s how you both got to become friends so quickly, however he didn’t know why you seemed to want to spend more time with Kevin than him. Thus, every time he knew you would have practice, he would come over and sit in between you both. Hyunjae would also try to always practice English with Eric and Jacob by always asking how to say something. Once, when Hyunjae tried to say a sentence in English during another duet practice, you and Kevin would always giggle harmlessly and try to correct him. Overcome with embarrassment and anger, he would tell both of you that your duets were always bad and storm out of the room. Shocked by his rude behavior, you’d slip back into your room and not spend time with Hyunjae for the rest of the day. You would hear a knock on your door that night and would open it to see a guilty-looking Hyunjae fumbling with his fingers in front of him.

Hyunjae: “I…I was just jealous that you would always sing with him, and you guys always speak English, and I’m not the best at English, and you guys always sound amazing together, and I-“

You’d stop his rambling with a hug. In shock and confusion, he’d slowly wrap his arms around your waist and look down at your face.

Y/N: “You’re amazing, Hyunjae. My friendship with Kevin will always be close, but our relationship is what always makes me feel at home with you.”

Seeing your genuine smile, Hyunjae would hide his own smile and look to the side, bringing his hands to pinch the bridge of his nose comically.

Hyunjae: “Ah... I messed up so bad... Please forgive me, Y/N."

Eric

Eric didn’t really care to be jealous. He knew that everyone considered you both to be the happy, energetic pair, and he had always felt proud of it. He would always find ways to make you happy when you were upset, and he knew that he was the best at it. But, then he would see you and his co-rapper, Sunwoo, always laughing loudly together or causing mischief with the other members as a pair, which made him pretty jealous. He wanted to be the sole person to make you laugh or to be the person you’d go to when teasing the other members. Not only was it frustrating to know that Sunwoo could make you so happy, but Eric also knew that Sunwoo was much more mature than him. Even though they were both the youngest in the group, he didn’t like that Sunwoo would always get more attention and respect because of his maturity. Thus, you found it really strange when you’d brought up the super immature joke from last week to find that he would make fun of you for saying something so stupid. He’d also try to change his fashion style to less vibrant colors, and even began talking less during the group meetings. Confused about his sudden change, you directly confronted him about his random behavior. When you opened his door, you could barely recognize the room with clothes and trash strewn about, much like Sunwoo’s room. However, in the corner of the room, you could see Eric giggling to the silly show you both used to watch before his uncharacteristic behavior. Eric would glance up to see you, and he would immediately try to hide his computer. However, already halfway across the room, you grabbed the computer out of his hands and ran away with it. Eric would try to run after you and would try to scold you for taking his things, but as the chase continued, you both flopped back onto his bed, laughing out of breath at the childish endeavor. You finally turned over and raised an eyebrow.

Eric: “Well,” He began, pushing a piece of hair out of your face. “Sunwoo is the person everyone goes to… He’s funny, smart, and mature.”

Y/N: “That doesn’t make up for every time you basically ignored me though. I don’t want you to be Sunwoo. I want you to be Eric.”

Eric: “You’re right. I’m really sorry… and look at the consequences! Can you believe I’ve been living like this? Look at how much I care about you, Y/N.” He waved his hand around the huge mess, and you both began to laugh at the silliness all over again.

Younghoon

Younghoon would always be just a little bit jealous whenever the other boys would have time with you. He really enjoyed when you both had alone time with one another, and how you could both calmly sit in his room and not do anything. He knew your friendships with the other boys would be inevitable, but he always felt a certain jealousy watching you and Haknyeon getting along. Unlike Younghoon, Haknyeon was always super outgoing, and you would both always find fun things to do together like going out to eat or watching funny videos together. At one point, you and Haknyeon started filming your food endeavors together, and you always came back home to show Younghoon of the fun he was missing out on. Thus, he’d mischievously hide your things whenever he heard about you guys going out to get food together. He’d hide your bag, your sneakers, and at one point he hid all of your jackets. While you were busy searching for your “lost” things, he’d always try to grab your sleeve or your wrist and tell you not to bother going out because “it’s cold” or “he’s sick”. However, because he could never lie to you, he’d help you “recover” your things anyways, and even give you a little money to relieve his own guilt. Afterward, he’d simply try to hang around you whenever you and Haknyeon went out. It would be quite silly to watch the footage because whenever Haknyeon would try to say something, Younghoon would take the camera and just film the both of you together, or he would always take the center of attention to himself. After the film, Haknyeon looked visibly annoyed so you would have a talk with Younghoon after the outing. You’d knock on his door and he would let you in, asking innocently what was wrong. However, with the look on your face, Younghoon knew he couldn’t pretend to not notice anymore and avoided looking at you.

Younghoon: “I don’t know… I get worried that I’m not a fun person like Haknyeon who is always excited and outgoing. I prefer to just stay at home and hang out with you… I’m sorry if I was being a nuisance, Y/N.”

Y/N: “Younghoon… I always love to be with you. I just wanted to hang out with Haknyeon because that’s our special thing. However, he can never replace our special time together either.

Younghoon’s face would light up again, and he’d reach for your hands and rub his thumbs across them.

Younghoon: “Really? Okay, then I’ll make sure you’ll always have fun with me.”

[ask-joeydrewstudios]

Henry's Unfortunate Ink-antation Part 6

[submitted by: @the-elusive-blue-skittle]

Day 2 

In the morning, the smell of coffee wakes Henry up from a nice, restful slumber. He sits up in bed and rubs his eyes, soon finding that Bendy had curled up next to him in his sleep. Henry shuffles out of bed, stumbling as he has to get used to his noodly legs all over again. Slugging over to the nightstand, he finds a note with his name on it next to an inkwell.

  To Henry…          In order to keep your strength up (you were melting when I found you in the music department last night…), you need to drink this. It may taste funny, but you can’t go on without drinking it forever.

Joey

Henry winces. He doesn’t want to drink it! God, it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever heard of, and he HAS to do it. The little toon whines,

“I don’t wanna drink it…”

Bendy rolls over and opens an eye, muttering to Henry. “Quit whinin’ an’ just do it, ya big baby…”

Henry rolls his eyes and uncorks the bottle. Grimacing, he plugs his nose with one hand and chugs the black fluid. Once he’s finished, he coughs a small amount of the liquid up and into his hands. “Oh, gross!! So disgusting…”

There’s a mug of hot coffee also sitting on the nightstand, poured into Henry’s favorite mug, which is ironically labeled:

HENRY’S MUG

And if it’s in HENRY’S MUG, it must be for him. He picks it up and looks inside, tilting his head a little. Aren’t toons not allowed to drink coffee? He takes a sip…

Ew, decaf. Well, it’s better than nothing to get the taste of ink out of his mouth. The little toon wanders out into the rest of the studio, where people are waiting in line to punch in for the day. A few employees stop what they’re doing to gawk at Henry, and it makes him feel two inches tall…

Maybe in heels.

He gets nervous, legs quivering beneath him in a comical fashion. “Wh-What’re you all starin’ at me for?”

Oh, right. He’s a toon. Perhaps he’s getting a little TOO used to this. His co workers continue to stare at him, making the toon unbearably nervous.

“Hey, stop that, would’ja? Please? It’s not polite to stare!”

At Henry’s escalating frustration, the majority of employees quickly glance back to their work, though some of the older individuals still raise an eyebrow in confusion.

Henry pouts, waving them off. “Feh.. To heck with you all…”

Chugging the rest of his decaf coffee, the toon makes his way to the staff lounge to put his mug away. Before long, he fails to pay attention to his surroundings and proceeds to run straight into one of his co workers, knocking his glasses off his face in the process.

Uh-oh. He can’t see without his glasses. LITERALLY. Everything is black around him, unable to see who he ran into.

“Oh, my, Henry, I’m so sorry! Here, let me help you…”

“S-Susie? Is that you? I can’t see a thing!”

The blonde-haired woman notices Henry’s glasses on the floor in front of her. She helps the little toon to his feet, and carefully pushes his glasses onto his face with a smile.

“There. That better, sugar?”

“Yeah, much better… Thank you, Susie.”

“It’s no trouble! What happened, by the way? You, uh…”

Henry sighs. “Pranks happened.”

Susie snorts at how high-pitched and Bendy-like Henry’s voice had become. Though not quite on-par with how he usually MOCKS the little devil, the pitch is nearly a perfect match. She’d know about that kind of thing.

“Hey! What’cha laughing for?”

She waves him off. “Oh, n-nothing, I just- eheh- I was just thinking about somethING-”

Susie gets thrust into a full-blown laughing fit, though with no ill intent. “I’M SORRY, I CAN’T-”

Henry seems terribly confused. He’s gotten more into the mind of a toon, so when Susie started laughing at him without him having done anything funny, you can bet the little toon would be met with befuddlement.

“No, really, Susie, I don’t get what’s so funny!”

Susie wipes a tear out of her eye, going back to meeting her co worker’s gaze. “It’s just… Heehee… I’ve never heard that voice before! Are you doing that on purpose?” “No, I’m not doing it on purpose! It’s stuck like that!”

“Oh, Henry, you’re the second cutest thing I ever did see..” “What’s the first?” “Ah, well… I won’t say a word!”

Susie looks at the clock. It’s already eight-thirty!

“Oh, golly.. Look at the time! I’ll see you around, Henry. Take care, now!”

Susie wanders off, humming to herself as she goes to her own department for the day. Henry blinks.

“What just happened?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Norman stands up in his projector booth, joyfully drumming his fingers to the beat of the band playing down below, when Sammy Lawrence bursts in and shouts,

“STOP THE BAND! STOP EVERYTHING!”

The violins screech to a halt as the trombone honks pitifully.

“YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG! MY LORD, WERE YOU ALL RAISED IN A BARN?!”

The music director throws down his clipboard in a small fit of rage, stomping down the stairs to confront and conduct the band himself. If it can’t be done right…

Meanwhile, Henry’s having a chat with one of his co workers over a cup of decaf coffee. The toon is standing by the door, finding it too difficult to squirm up and onto one of the high-up chairs in the break room.

“And that’s when I said: ‘How are we gonna get that many cucumbers this late at night?!’ ”

The other man in the room, Shawn Flynn, laughs boisterously. “AHAHAHAH, AH WOW…  Henry, you are a RIOT!”

“Thank you kindly,” Henry replies with a smirk, adjusting his tie in a conceited fashion.

Just then…

SLAM. Sammy storms in the room with a bitter scowl, with Susie following close behind to try and talk some sense into him. Shawn stares at the door in disbelief as Sammy shouts at the top of his lungs about the clarinet players.

“Uh, Sammy-”

“AND THEN MICHAEL STARTED PLAYING IN THE WRONG KEY! CAN YOU BELIEVE-” “Sammy, I-”

“WHEN THE DRUMMER STARTED PLAYING ON TWO AND FOUR INSTEAD OF ONE AND THREE!! OOOH, THAT JUST-”

“SAMMY!!! GET’CHER HEAD OUTTA YER TROUSERS AN’ LISTEN TA ME!”

“Oh, for the love of.. WHAT, SHAWN, WHAT?!”

“Henry was behind the door you were slammin’!”

Sammy turns around to look at the entrance, where a half-splattered Henry peels himself off the wall and lands on his face on the hardwood floor. Susie gasps, and turns to Sammy with an intense stare.

“Sammy! Look what you did!” “But Susie, I-”

Susie approaches Henry with a panicked expression.

“Sugar, are you okay?!”

Henry, feeling the most nauseous he’s ever been, can’t seem to find the motor skills to open his mouth and speak, not to mention that his voice hasn’t exactly found its way back to his body. The toon nods, soon slapping a hand over his gooey mouth. He feels like he’s going to be sick.

Susie turns back to her partner. “Sammy, if you hadn’t been waltzing around and slamming doors, this wouldn’t’ve happened!”

“He had it coming to him!! Maybe he shouldn’t have been standing behind the door!”

“What if he was about to leave?!”

Henry stumbles to his feet with the help of Susie. The toon wobbles, holding a hand to his forehead as he adjusts his glasses with the other.

“Hooh, wow-wie… That’s less fun on this side of it…”

Just then…

SLAM! Bendy bursts in the room, frantically glancing around. “Where’s Henry?! Is he okay?!”

Shawn is trying his hardest not to bust out laughing. The door slowly swings shut, revealing a re-splattered Henry all over the wall.

Again.

The little devil panics and produces a giant spatula out of nowhere, proceeding to shove it underneath the splattered animator to pry him off the wall. After successfully peeling Henry off, Bendy carefully and fearfully coaxes Henry to reform.

“Aaaaalright, nice and easy.. Find yer face, pally….”

Henry slowly forms a body of pure black ink. He rises to… Whatever replaces his feet and stumbles. He can’t see a thing! The splattered toon tries to communicate this problem, though only soft squeaks and growls come out of his half-formed mouth. Henry almost immediately goes into panic mode, and Bendy has literal alarms going off inside his head.

“H-Henry, ya gotta calm down! Yer fine!”

The taller toon shakes what could be perceived as his head as he grasps at what could be perceived as his throat.

“Yer throat? No, no… Yer voice? That’s gotta be it! Henry, yer voice is gonna come back, don’t worry, but right now, ya gotta focus on the rest’a yaself!”

Henry gurgles and coughs, seeming to nod in understanding. Bendy goes back to gently coaxing the other to reform, small bits at a time.

After about half an hour, Henry is mostly reformed, but still fairly blackened and goopy. At least he’s got his face, body, and hands under control. His little friend carefully helps him stand up once more. The taller toon coughs hoarsely into his hands, threatening to keel over again. Bendy pats his back softly with a small smile.

“Easy now, pally… You got this..”

Henry shudders. Everything is cold, his inky hair won’t stay out of his face, and he can’t stop shaking. He glances down at Bendy for a moment before swiftly, though wobbily, scooping him up in a big hug. The little devil opens his mouth to tell him to put him down, but this time…

He doesn’t quite mind.

Bendy smiles big, wrapping his arms around his beloved animator in a tight squeeze.

“Eheeheehee… You’re welcome, Henry.”

// I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT, EVEN THOUGH I’M AT DETENTION

((THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER PART, I’m sure people will appreciate this after all the Pain ‘round here lately. I mean this chapter’s a little sad too, but it’s got some cute in there still.))

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part seven

[riskeith]

hi babe ! its snowing so much here today i’ve been cold all day :( but i got some chai latte and made snow angels so i’m feeling a bit better,.. <3

i wish there was a way to trade objects or send them away!! ik it would spiral into hacking, scamming and would probably defeat the purpose of the game by making it much easier but still :( it would be nice to help out friends with some objects.. :(

actually the most annoying thing about mobile is the camera. it sometimes glitches especially during battle and i find myself stuck facing a mountain bc the camera. so i see why people might complain. also sadly NO :( i wish!! i have an old laptop i thought of using but idk if it can handle it. i think i wanna try it out though. do you use a laptop or pc?

that’s true. i wish we could like... unable easy mode and just chill LMAO hsjshdhdk. but combat does get more fun the more you progress, i’ve started to really enjoy it. now i get why you started to like dragonspine.... i think.... i’m still iffy about that place... 🤔 fuck the cold.

dude. they’re sooo good. i love how they just.. angrily reassure each other constantly. kageyama’s just ARGH *literally smacks sense into hinata’s head* and hinata’s just EEE *takes the compliments and spikes like a mf*

i actually didn’t know much about voltron when i first started watching. i only knew about shiro because an acquaintance had posted about his gay announcement but i never checked it out. i actually got into it in a funny way... i was on yt one day and i saw a video titled ‘are keith and lance gay?’ and i was like who the fuck are keith and lance? then because i’m such a gay person myself i decided to check it out and i saw keith and was like... wow that’s a cute boy... then i saw their dynamic and said WOAH. and well... i just started watching and got hooked and i thought everything was neat and fun so i watched up until season 3 without engaging in any fan activities so i had no idea what people were saying...,, then i did and i was greeted with the shit storm. and the rest is history. but i can imagine it must’ve been so fun... the excitement of not knowing where the story will go and getting new content and being in the fandom while it was alive despite everything.... ahhh how did you find out about the show?

dude YEAH!!! do you feel like university affects the way you handle your fandoms? we talked a bit about hobbies and stuff but what about fandoms?

(MAKES A SECOND REROLL ACCOUNT JUST FOR THIS.... 🥺 omgggg imagine how cute that would be wait omg i’m actually like ahhhh.. we could go on dates at liyue... or watch the sunset at cape oath.... or have picnics at any mountain top... 😳 YEAH PLS that would be so nice... help is anyway nice to have and you’re such a op now you’d just murder the villains in a second... 😳 oo. although i checked earlier and my server is in america for some reason? i really hope they do the cross-server thing life would be SO good. i’d ask you on a date in a heartbeat. 😳 which characters would we use on this co-op date?)

KOSMO!!! BEST PART OF VOLTRON???? kosmo... come back to us please.. please. ok maybe second best part after keith in the bom suit..... god keith in purple just sits so right <3333 sooo right <3333 I VOTE FOR KEITH BECAUSE HE’S HALF-GALRA SO I GUESS THAT MAKES HIM THE FUTURE *LOVE-SICK SMILE* yeah... hahaha fucking fools. ‘rewrite where lance was looking for keith to confess to him bc they were going back to space’ CRIESSSSSSSSSSSS... CLUNAAAA... 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 hi.. 🥺 now i’m just gonna think about this all night and clutch my heart. thank you for that. btw how would you feel about a voltron movie ?

(i love how our topics just jump from genshin to voltron to genshin to voltron again lmao)

lots of kisses from your m.a. <3333

(okay this ended up being very long bc i combined your second ask too and talked a lot so i hope it’s okay i put it under a read more fkdsjhfks)

omg snow!!! is it all pretty and fluffy 🥺🥺 also ‘chai latte’ and ‘snow angels’ in the same sentence when you said you were cold made me fhfksfjs but i’m happy you’re feeling better! muwah 🥰

yeah same!! i said that to my brother when i first started playing i was like ‘i wish you could trade characters’ and he just gave me a deadpan look and was like.. why would they allow that FHDSFKHD sigh but it would be fun!

ah yikes no! sometimes the camera fucks up even on pc so I can’t imagine what it’s like on mobile in the pivotal moments fhdkfjsd. and i use a laptop! i don’t have a pc ahaha. ahhh i hope you somehow manage to find a laptop/pc to try it out thoo

AHAHAH come on m.a. give dragonspine another shot 🤪🤪 but yeah the challenge is fun sometimes! tho i tried to do a domain like 3 times today and kept failing so... it’s also not fun. (i also tried to find some vids about how to build my characters and got overwhelemd fkhsdfks i feel like i’m going about it all in the wrong way ahhhhhhhhhhhh)

FSHDFKJSDHFKSDHJF THAT DESCRIPTION OF KAGEHINA YES 💯💯💯💯 the accuracy omg.. they’re such chaotic idiots i love them!!!!

!!! what a story that is ahah omg it’s like fate... icb you got that vid recommended to you lolol iconic... and i found out about it from my dash!! someone reblogged a screenshot and i was like “legend of korra?” FHSKFJHSKF so basically i thought it was a korra comic or something bc the art style was so similar fhskdfjd. and then i went searching and gave it a shot! and fell down the rabbit hole..

ooo wdym by handle my fandoms? i do know that last year when uni got overwhelming i locked my twitter and made a priv to vent and just. didn’t really go on social media if that’s what you meant FHSKJSDHKF but yeahhhhhhh uni fkn sucks. sucks out all the motivation i have for anything... i type so many words for lectures that i don’t have the energy to write fic :// FJKDSHKSDHFKSHF don’t meant to get so negative but yeahh lol. hbu?

(all those options got my heart going doki doki 😩 who needs real life dating when you can date in the gorgeous atmosphere that is genshin? AHAH. and oh? america??? maybe they just did that as default hm. as for which characters.... i don’t know that we have any that make up the popular ships fhdskjfj (xingqiu/chongyun, zhongli/childe, beidou/ningguang).. tho i see xiao/aether and xiao/venti on the rise so when the time comes ... AHAH you can be the venti to my xiao <3 LOL)

!!!!!!!!! okay i’ll list that down as the fic idea.. but no promises once again sdjfhksdf but i’m also very 👀👀👀 at the concept so! will def keep it in the back burner. 

hm. i honestly don’t know if i would even pay any attention to it hfksdhfjds like voltron left such a sour taste in my mouth i don’t even know that i could consume any canon content ever again. but it’ll also depend on what the plot would be? lol. would you be okay with it?

(lmaooo we be balancing many convos at once look at us 🤪)

ALSO!!! i’m watching spirited away rn and omg. i love haku sm. i love no face too!!! (at least in the beginning when he (?????) was helping sen <33) all the characters are really good as well tho and ofc the art and music!! i really wanna draw something for it now...... and it makes me very excited to watch howl’s moving castle!!

‘I saw the person my younger self had been enraptured by. I saw someone who took my breath away. And when I blinked, I saw the present you. A soul which, slowly but surely, I’d started to fall in love with.’

UMMMMMMMM CLUNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! explain yourself right now.........., what is this goddamn beauty you hide ? why is that so beautiful..,,, i take it the last klance fic is a multiverse fic???? literally everything good in one????? i saw hints of royal au as well? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you do us so good i literally love you sm just reading those small snippets just Ahhhhhh..... i love them they sound amazing i just wanna exist in them yk... 😭😭😭😭😭😭

FHDSKJFHDSFKJ IF YOU THINK THAT IS GOOD JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU READ THE LAST SECTION!!!!!!!!! but at the same time i’m surprised by myself too... me @ past me you ain’t bad! shdfkds I legit have no recollection or writing the snippet you sent but i’m glad you like it 😩😩 and thank you for being so kind always ilysm too 😭❣💓💖💫💞💘❣💖

oh and to answer your question (oops almost forgot) yes it’s a multiverse fic!! that’s why i thought it’d be good for the last one ehehe. just shoved in everything i loved and made klance in love in them!!

hope you’re treating yourself!! loveeeeeee your c.r. <3

[fuck-customers]

I’m back! Last time I complained about my coworkers and management, and that’s exactly my complaint this time too. After my toilet hugging stint I got back on my feet and went to work per usual on Wednesday, nothing at all was said about me not being there Tuesday, there was so sit-down with my Chef, nothing. I got introduced to the new night chef who started while I was out sick. Everything was very much a normal midweek and weekend. New chef seemed a decent guy, if a bit wet behind the ears, and I actually got on VERY well with the other pantry cook….until toda [Sunday]. Our station lead texted me this morning that I’m coming in at 3pm on Sundays now, cos we’ve started a new schedule that gives me 2 days off too (the worst 2 days off possible), which is fine. I usually come in at 3 anyway cos it’s a bit hectic once we start breaking down Brunch and setting up for dinner service. All hands on deck makes the kitchen run smoother during the transition, and it gives me a full hour to get my station restocked and ready to rock before service starts again. So I get there at 3pm, everything is fine, other pantry cook and I are talking, she complimented my new pants and earrings, we’re deciding who is gonna do what tonight cos with the new schedule she leaves at 7pm and I close, since I now have Monday off as well as Tuesday. We settle on her being main station and me being pizza and desserts until she leaves, then I’ll switch to main station and our trainee (who is also my brother) will tap out on dishtank, where he’s basically the head night dishwasher cos he’s trying to train 3 newbies so he can fully switch to pantry, and come take over pizza and we’ll split desserts (we have a really good system where he plates and I decorate cos the owner WAXES POETIC about how I make the desserts look). All is well. I’m setting pizza station up, making sure my speed rack is fully stocked with trays of rolls and garlic bread sticks, checking the servers salad bin, and clearing backline a bit…. I’m just starting to get everything together to make backups​ so all I have to do at closing is switch pans and clean….and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. The other pantry cook starts literally screaming at me cos of how I’ve set up pizza and rearranging everything from how it’s been since I started working here. I just stand there and let her rave, then calmly ask “What is your PROBLEM?” and she screams at the new chef she’s done with me and leaving. And walks out. New chef comes over and starts yelling at ME. I’ve done nothing wrong at this point, so I defend myself, as there is NO REASON I should be getting a dressing down right now! He storms off, and apparently goes and talks her back onto the line….and tells me I’m done for the day, clock out and go home. What? So I’m trying to talk to him, and figure out how cos someone else had a shit fit all over me and WALKED OUT, it’s ME being sent home, and he drags the FoH manager into the kitchen and wants us to go to the office. Okay, sure, this needs resolved. As we’re walking I’m asking “what is wrong? What did I do? SHE went off on ME!” And they both flip on me about being insubordinate and blah blah blah. So I throw my hands up with a “Fine, whatever, I quit” and clocked out and went outside to call my roommate to pick me back up less than an hour after they dropped me off. I’m sitting there, crying in frustration, and my Work Mom (she’s the best) comes out and asks what’s wrong, so I tell her. And she talks to me for a while, and has good advice to go talk to both chef and FoH manager again. So I do. New chef does nothing but roll his eyes at me and tell me to “learn to adjust”, while also saying he will give ZERO TIME to actually try and get anything figured out and adjusted so we can actually WORK instead of me coming in each day never knowing if today is the day the other pantry cook goes off on me, cos she does at LEAST twice a week, usually in the first 5 minutes. I have to go from AB at 2:59 to YZ at 3pm and just magically be able to do it with no period of adjustment. Whatever, he’s new, he’ll learn that doesn’t work, head chef will deal with it. So I go talk to FoH, we sit down, talking, hash things out, agree to set up a meeting with the owner and head chef to address things, and we’re treating it as exactly what it is, chef sent me home for the day. (She’s literally heard me say “I quit” 15 times, she knows I’m not quitting, I’m just overly frustrated. Work is not the only place I do this, “I quit” is my way of removing myself from a situation before I blow up). New chef is treating it as I quit and walked out without permission…. Which, 1: You sent me home? Is that not permission? 2: I did not quit my job, I’m poor, I can’t afford that. I quit a pointless conversation that was pissing me off. Yes, I did very seriously think about quitting the job, cos I’m to a point I can’t TAKE THIS anymore. But I talked to Work Mom, and Station Lead, and my roommate, and got calmed down, and decided no. Much as I want to quit, I won’t quit without notice. I owe my Chef and Station Lead that much. And I won’t give notice without having a new job lined up. I have rent to pay, 2 rats to care for, and a car I’m in the middle of buying from my Station Lead. I can’t be between jobs for even a second or my life falls apart. Now I have to call the owners secretary tomorrow and get an appointment with him and Chef ASAP, FoH said Tuesday is free so hopefully I can get it then. But until that meeting? I’m currently in Employment Limbo. Do I have a job? Am I unemployed? NOBODY KNOWS. And I am terrified of how this meeting will go and esp how it will end. This has been a week of hell for me in regards to work, and I have no idea what I’ll see once in the owners office. He’s a great guy, funny, sweet, caring….but only when he wants to be and it’ll benefit his business. Cos he started at the bottom, working as a singer/player at piano bars to pay his way through college, and now he’s an extremely good business lawyer who takes no shit.

[lavellington]

3 Random Things Meme

Okay, so @nekosmuse​ tagged me in the three random things meme, and I had the obligatory moment of “but I’m not an interesting person” panic before I decided to suck it up. Here you all go. Since I’m mostly in Dirk Gently fandom at the moment, I’ll start off with something both important to me and thematically relevant:

1) I first read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in a caravan in Wales.

Douglas Adams was a game changer for me. I grew up in a house where no one was particularly into sci-fi, and my only exposure to science fiction or fantasy narratives were Harry Potter (I’m a Harry Potter brat forever), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I guess high concept 90s movies à la Big or Groundhog Day. 

When I was fifteen I read Douglas Adams, which was my gateway to Doctor Who, which was my gateway to Star Trek, which sealed my fate. Most importantly, I thought they were HILARIOUS. I have never laughed so hard at any other book as I laughed at h2g2 or Dirk Gently. To this day, I don’t think any other writer has influenced my adult taste or sense of humour as much as Douglas Adams.

To claim that I first read h2g2 in a caravan in Wales is slightly disingenuous, as I had actually already devoured the first four books in the series at that point, and was reading Mostly Harmless, which I brought with me on our family holiday. Plenty of our family holidays involved caravans, usually in Ireland or the UK, so I always brought a few books in case we got rained in and I got sick of playing board games. I have an extremely vivid memory of being trapped in this tiny caravan with my parents and younger brother for an epic, howling storm of at least three days’ duration, and trying to explain to my mother what was so funny that I literally couldn’t breathe through my laughter.

(It was this bit:

“If any of them had chosen to look out of the window at that moment, they would have been startled by the sight of Ford Prefect dropping past them to his certain death and flipping v-signs at them.” )

I think the writing of Douglas Adams, especially “Mostly Harmless” and “Dirk Gently and the Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul” introduced me to the concept of gallows humour in a way that appealed to the depths of my soul. Things could be sad, and clever, and funny, and I spent the remaining few years of my adolescence probably being very puffed up and irritating about this fact.

2) I’m a vegan.

Okay, if you have any “vegan at a dinner party” jokes, get them out of your system right now. I don’t have enough interesting hobbies or personal attributes to leave this out. 

I went vegan last year, and it’s actually been pretty okay in terms of regulating my diet and so on. My main struggles have been as follows:

- People getting pre-emptively defensive and assuming I’m going to give them shit for eating meat or dairy or whatever, which inevitably results in them saying something along the lines of:  “Don’t you think a lion would eat you if it got the chance?”

Buddy. What do you think you’re arguing, here?

- Going home to visit my parents and forgetting that living in Dublin (an actual city) has spoiled me slightly in terms of dining choices, so that every time I go to a local restaurant with my family I am surprised all over again that the only thing I can eat is bread and sometimes pasta.

- Having to scan the ingredients of every fucking chocolate bar I pick up 

- “Vegan at a dinner party” jokes.

Mostly it’s been pretty okay, and I’ve been trying to also switch to cruelty free makeup etc, which brings me to my next point...

3) I work in high end retail, and I’m very conflicted about it.

Working in a swanky department store is not all you might expect it to be. You are much less likely to be seduced by Cate Blanchett and much more likely spending your day pretending not to be horrified at people casually dropping €800 on a small, black handbag. 

I work for a makeup and skincare company, which shall remain nameless, but which is not cruelty free. I found out the other day that our brushes are made from animal hair. In fact, in a disturbing twist, our lip brush is 100% weasel. I figure I’m not the only person to ever experience the cognitive dissonance of working at a job which conflicts with most of their personal beliefs, and I have to pay the rent, but it’s a weird situation for me.

There’s also the “It’s a stopgap job!” conflict, which is the mantra I’ve been repeating for the last five years. In my head, I only work in retail until I can either work in publishing or get back into academia, but after years of doing freelance proofreading/editing on the side and taking numerous, soul-crushing internships, I’m feeling a little worn down. Mostly this results in me watching old episodes of Friends and strongly over-identifying with Rachel and Chandler.

On the other hand, working in retail is sometimes kind of fun. I’ve had office jobs in the past as well (most notably when I lived in England and worked in an office in Reading, which is near to Slough, where The Office is set. This fact caused me to laugh on a near daily basis, and was not nearly as amusing to my co-workers), and on one memorable occasion worked as a door-to-door salesperson, which was its own level of hell. Any of these jobs can be kind of funny if you’re determined to be positive about it. My Weirdest Customer award probably still goes to that guy who approached me in a department store coming up to Christmas and opened with:

Him: Have you ever seen the movie Perfume?

Me (backing away slightly): Erm...yes?

Him: Do you have any perfumes like that?

Me: Like...perfume made of...people?

Him: Well, one of them was made of hair.

Me: No. I don’t sell any perfumes made of human hair.

Woman standing nearby: *uncontrollable laughter*

Luckily, he left before attempting to kill anyone or start an orgy.

So, there you are. Sorry it took me so long, @nekosmuse. I guess I have to tag three people, so... @ivyblossom @acloudofunknowing @vands88 TAG, YOU’RE IT.

[beyondvapepage]

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 273

Click on the video above to watch Episode 273 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Hello everybody and welcome to Hump Day hangouts. Today is the fifth of February 2020. I’m still working on saying 2020 so that’s why I got off well slow but you guys but I keep finding myself right in the last year but I guess that’s just the way it goes. So anyways on to more interesting subjects like answering your questions and seeing what we can help everyone out with. But before we get into that, I want to say hello to the guys. I got some short announcements and then we will jump into it. So starting on my left here, Bradley, how are you doing today?

Bradley: Fantastic, man. I’ve been recording videos all day for the 2xyouragency stuff. Man, I can’t believe we’re selling it for what we’re selling it for. That’s all I gotta say. A lot of content, man.

Adam: If you’re gonna say that but I’m going to say go to 2xyouragency.com.

Chris: Just increase prices.

Bradley: We’re only three weeks into a 12-week course, man, and it’s just a massive amount of value. So anyway, I hope you guys take advantage of our stupidity.

Adam: Well, what Bradley meant to say was, we help digital agency owners get more clients, grow the revenue and scale their teams. All right. So you know, two big things that we find important and I know Bradley’s joking around. But you know, we want to work less and earn more and not that we want to do nothing, but we want to spend our time doing the things we want to do. All right. And that’s what this is all about. So we’ve heard that commonly, from a lot of you guys who are listening, and then people, other people out there, we’ve talked to you, you know, those are the three main things that we can help you do so that you can work less and earn more and spend time doing what you want to do.

Bradley: Yeah.

Adam: Chris, how you doing, man?

Chris: Yeah, like I’m suffering like the temperature struggle here. About 10 days ago, it wasn’t the mountains -17 degrees Celsius. So until for the whole weekend, and until Monday, we had about 19 degrees plus and then Tuesday, a big storm came. And last night we got about half a meter snow dumped out and it’s fucking cold again. So I’m surprised that I’m healthy and like not like having any cold or something like that. But yeah, I don’t know like other than that. Life is good.

Adam: All right. Well, speaking of the cold, Hernan, how are you doing?

Hernan: I’m doing awesome, dude. I’m doing awesome. I’m feeling like shit, but here’s the deal. Okay. Okay, so do two quick things. Stop laughing. It sounds funny. All right. So quick, two quick things. Number one is that thank you guys for the amazing support for the launch of 2xyouragency was awesome. So thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We’re pouring a lot of value in that Semantic Mastery style. We’re trying to over-deliver 2xyouragency.com. That is number one. Number two is that last week, I went to Funnel Hacking Live and I had the honor and the privilege and the pleasure of getting, on behalf of the whole Semantic Mastery team, the two comma club that we made that possible. Thanks to all of you guys. So I’m feeling like crap, but I’m super proud of the team that we have here. And I’m super proud for, you know, and I don’t have words to thank you, guys, everyone that’s watching the YouTube channel, subscribing, commenting, sharing, you know, buying our product supporting the brand. It’s been quite a ride. And you know, last year, we were sitting with Adam in Nashville, Tennessee, and I was like, dude, I think it would be pretty awesome if we hop on stage together to come to a co or and then lo and behold, we got it. So anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m super proud of that. Super proud of the team. And thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you.

Adam: Awesome. Yeah, I was too cool for school to go up there with Hernan. I was hanging out in Puerto Rico for a little while. So I had to miss that. But now I’m really glad I didn’t go because apparently I would have gotten sick as hell. Yeah.

Hernan: Yeah. So I went in, I took a bullet for the team, but also, we might have I also got to network with some awesome people, some awesome entrepreneurs, so we might be having them on subsequent hangouts moving forward, so that’s gonna be a blast to some

Adam: awesome good stuff. All right, and Marco, how you doing today?

Marco: Oh, dude, I’m stuck here under almost 20 inches of sun. It’s horrible. Look outside in and not a cloud in the sky 82 degrees. It’ll be around 60, At nightm it’s terrible. I tell you don’t anybody come here. For any of this, you don’t want it. You don’t want paradise, trust me. But what I’m going to do those I’m going to go on a record like to the new house that I just moved into over, there’s a green area and I got two volcanoes in the background to just big mountains. So I’m going to go and do a quick live stream so you guys can see where it is that Marco because it doesn’t get any better than this, man. Eighty degrees in the during the day 60-65 at night. And that’s life guys and what we’re trying to do. You live is that you put whatever you’re POFU is, it doesn’t have to be this. You could it could be that you want to go to Antarctica and set up camp there me you’re more than welcome. That’s your POFU, we’re with you. And we will help you get there. That’s our whole point right behind all this, the 2xyouragency and all of the products and services that we provided so that people can get to the point where they can say, I’m going to do what I want to do rather than what I have to do, to see how the hell I’m gonna make it to the end of the month. I’m going to pay my bills. We don’t want your living that life. We want you living a life where you work less, make more money, and then you could do whatever the fuck you want with your money. And I’ll leave it at that.

Adam: Fair enough. Well, I don’t have too much to add on to that except to say let’s see, nice and sunny. It’s nice to be back home. I enjoy traveling a lot but I don’t know about you guys. I enjoy getting back into the routine as well. Having the flow you know kind of getting out starting my day having that after a week or two on the road and start getting kind of tired and like Okay, I’m ready to get back to it now. I see Bradley shaking his head you feel the same right?

Bradley: Oh my god, dude, there’s so much freedom in routine, I swear to god like I don’t know how you guys are not and you and Chris do it because you trappy the three of you travel so much and work and I just can’t do it. I can’t get motivated. When I’m away from my work environment. It’s very difficult to stay focused for me when I’m outside of this environment. And so, you know, like I said to me, I’m like, I feel so out of sorts, even taking a vacation you know, coming back and getting back into my normal routine is like liberating you know, so I don’t know I get stressed out when I’m on the road. You know when it comes to working stuff so

Adam: but I also see Bradley not being stressed out on the road and that’s it perfectly live. If you want to see Bradley unchained and hit him up for some good off. Off the record info, you need to come to POFU Live. We’ve locked down. We are going to be in Boston this year in 2020. It’s going to be. I forget the exact dates but I believe it’s the last weekend in September and so now is the time to go ahead and lock in your tickets. We’re limiting it to 25 people this year. So if you go to pofulive.com, you can grab your ticket early.

  I’ve got a couple more announcements I want to share with everyone. You heard us talking about double your agency. If you’re new to us, or you’re new to Semantic Mastery, then you know, there are two great places you can get started with us. You’ve already found the first one and that’s Hump Day Hangout show up every Wednesday. If you can’t make it live, you can always ask the question on the page, and then check out our YouTube channel for the answers. So go ahead and hit subscribe on the YouTube channel. Stay up to date with all that. But like I said, we help digital agency owners and consultants get more clients, right? Grow their revenue and scale their teams. All right, so that you can work less and earn more if you want to know more about that. Just go to 2xyouragency.com. All right, and then additionally, a lot of people ask us, you know, Hey, you guys have a step by step process for maybe working with aged domains or how about a new website or how do I use YouTube channels or how do I do GMB stuff? Go check out the Battle Plan if you don’t have the Battle Plan yet, you can find that at battleplan.semanticmastery.com. And last but certainly not least, if you’re doing done for you services or you’re working on your own projects, or you’re working with clients, you need to be checking out mgyb.co. Stuff like link building, the SEO shield, which if you don’t know what that is, head over there, find out press releases, there are more services come in, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But make sure that you head over there, and you’re putting that to use and that falls into line with what we’re teaching at 2xyouragency.com, you know, as part of the fulfillment and getting yourself out of the fulfillment role and really, and really trying to run business. So with that said, you guys, is there any other announcements before we dive into the questions?

Marco: Let’s do this man.

Bradley: All right, let me grab a screen. Standby. Can you confirm?

Adam: Good to go.

Does The Middle Option In The RYS Drive Stacks Refer To The Classic Or The New Version Of G Sites?

Okay. So looks like Justin is up first. He says for the RYS drive stack. He’s been really active in the Facebook community too. So pretty cool. I love it when people come in and you know, are active and engaged because that’s how you start to grow. Right? So that’s awesome. Justin, he says for the RYS drive stacks for the middle option with the old slash new Google Sites. Is that referring to classic? So you must be talking about when you order from MGYB, he’s asking is that referring to classic/new versions of G sites, both newly created or an aged site as well as a newly created site. That’s the versions, they’re both going to be new.

But we’re talking about classic plus classic Google Sites plus the new Google Sites. Marco was talking about new Google Sites just yesterday with … I saw I’m going to say then, but there’s a so so it’s both in both new sites, but one is on the newer platform. Any old in the other side is on the old Google Sites. So it’s not about aged in new sites if that makes sense.

How Does The Twitter Account For An Extra Hundred Bucks Integrate?

Bradley: Last part of that is how does the Twitter account for an extra hundred bucks integrate? Thanks and Marco I’ll let you take that one.

Marco: Uh, that gets tied to your branded Twitter account. So it becomes a secondary Twitter account that retweets tweets from relevant sources, right? That trusted, authoritative, relevant sources in Twitter, so that your tweets are combined with those relevant, trusted, authoritative tweets so that you draw authority from those and it goes into a tiered network for just your tweets. So that’s what that is. And that’s why we charge extra because you get a persona network, right? A tiered persona network for your tweets and additional tweets to bring back all of that relevance to your website, to your project to wherever it is that you’re sending people when you tweet, your tweet will contain links, it’ll contain information is going to contain, I don’t know, videos, maps, whatever it is that you choose to tweet out. And that’s how you would use that.

  Bradley: There you go, Gordon’s up sup, Gordon? He says, Hey, guys, I have no questions for today. Oh, wow. That’s a rarity, Gordon. He says, even though it’s a little bit late, and I just wanted to wish you much happiness, good health and continued success and prosperity for 2020 and beyond. And also to again, declare a heartfelt thank you for helping your customers by sharing your knowledge with us on these hump days. You’re the best that would be a good one for the testimonials, guys. Thanks, Gordon. We always appreciate you coming in and participating. You’ve been a member or in the audience for many years, a participant for many years, I should say. So thank you for that. We always appreciate you as well. And here comes another superstar, Muhammad. What’s up my buddy? Who said thank you, Al Gore, was turned on to

Should You Use A Unique Title Tags For A Crowded Industry?

and Mohammed, he’s another superstar. He’s been in and out of the mastermind but he’s growing which is awesome. So what’s up man? And he says, hey guys when it comes to the title tags for a crowded industry, do I have to have a unique one my car dealer client is in a big city and all the page one companies seem to have some variations of new cars in city or new that new comma used cars and city. Usually, I try to make my title tag stand out, but in this case, should I just copy what the competition is doing? It’s my focus on uniqueness even justified, I don’t remember learning it. Okay. I’m going to give you my opinion on this and I’m sure that there are probably some differences from some of the other guys.

When it comes to title tags unless it’s a blog post. If it’s a page where you know, for lead generation, I just use the keyword whatever the primary keyword is that I’m trying to target for that page becomes my at least the first part of the title tag. I might include a phone number in the title tag as well as the brand, right? But the first part of the title tag is going to be just that primary keyword, not a modification of it. It’s just the primary keyword, then I’ll have the phone number then the brand or something, some similar variation of that. But it’s always just the primary keyword where I try to have to stand out as in the meta description, right. And that’s where I try to write, you know, I do a lot of Google Ads now. And so I have the benefit of split testing a lot of headlines and descriptions. And because of that, I tend to try to write my meta descriptions as ad copy, so it’s compelling. So that’s what I try to do to stand out. And the reason why I say that is because I want that keyword and the SEO title is a significant ranking factor for a piece of content, at least in my experience, and I’ve kept at that process for many years now. So I always want that primary keyword as the title, the first part of the title tag two, and then I’ll use the ad copy or excuse me, the meta description, optimized that like it’s ad copy to try to entice a click. And that’s typically how I do it. But I’m sure some of the other guys have some other input to put on this. So just to clarify, Mohammed, my opinion would be to do what your competitors are doing when it comes to the title tag, but then try to make your meta description stand out as much as possible. And one of the ways to do that, which may be Marco can touch on this a little bit more if he doesn’t get mad at me for saying this, has to include jump links because they can get pulled into the meta description. Remember, if you have a piece of content and you have like a table of contents, you have jump links within the content, those can actually get pulled into the meta description so it extends your search space, right? The real estate that you take upon the space on and plus it also draws the eyes to it because it’s got a blue clickable link right from within the meta description. So those are also things that you can do to help us kind of stand out. Marco would say you?

Marco: Well on understanding how the algorithm is working right now how it was tweaked how they’re trying to cater to NLP and any neural matching this is when you really have to focus on why brands are becoming more and more important as we go into the Semantic Web. Yeah, you could do it like that. You could do it just focus on the keyword like you said to include the brand and the exact match keyword but the broad match right. So if selling new cars and your domain has new cars, new cars com, so you can’t go new cars, com new cars for sale, it becomes nearly impossible to avoid over-optimizing everything on your website and if you had focused on your brand, which is usually a name, probably a family name, right? And plus, and then the carmaker, and then the location, model, you might want to include the model, if it’s opposed for whatever it is, however it is that you’re trying to frame it, it would be a whole lot easier if you concentrated on the brand. And then once you’re focusing on the brand, to do as much as you can for the entity of that brand around the web, so that now you’re setting yourself up to two ways.

The way Bradley said it becomes unique. Your description is in fact, your ad copy, because you’re in front of a user, and that user is going to look at these results. And the one that catches the eye is the one that’s going to get the click or the one it’s just sometimes that they go to that first one. There’s a lot of people that will go multiples, and that there’s a lot of people where you get that bold, right those descriptions and those titles in bold and maybe that’ll catch their eye. This is why it’s so important to have that keyword that you’re focusing on. But if you’re focusing on brand, you’re not going to run into over-optimization issues. So you have two things, you’re taking care of that ad copy. You’re taking care of that title and that description, and you’re taking care of your entity so that in every way possible, you just differentiated yourself from everyone else in the industry that’s doing the same damn thing. And so now you’re giving the bot a reason to choose your entity over the others when… I don’t know how deep I can get into this, Mohammed, go look at the charity webinars because I went deep into this and into the entity into the fact that all Google is doing is it’s comparing. It’s comparing entities. It’s in a relational database and it relates all of the entities to one another. And all of the whatever vectors it has for that entity, vectors are simply numbers, right? This zero to eight and so whatever it has in its system and its servers, when it’s looking for the entities, which one matches the entity the best, or what it thinks the optimal entity is, if yours is the closest to that, it’s going to draw more attention from the bots. It’s gonna draw more love. That’s why our @ID pages work so fucking well because we’re just feeding the bots all of the information about our entity and we do it over and over and over again. We loop it, we scoop it, and it has no choice but to do what we want it to do. That’s why I’m surprised that he’s not back in our mastermind already asking not only these questions but going deeper into this because we go a whole lot deeper about the entity and all of the different things that you could do to trap that body in there. And just to set yourself completely apart from everybody else. It’s part of our SEO power shield. And as part of what I’m calling worried less SEO, we just don’t worry about updates. It doesn’t matter. We don’t care what Google does, because we’re already optimized for Google. Even though Google says you can’t optimize for natural language processing and AI. Yeah, and I call that bullshit.

Bradley: Yeah. I love that you can’t optimize for the new updates. Okay. All right. The people that say that just don’t have a Marco on their team.

Would It Trigger A Penalty If You Publish An Address For A Service Area GMB Page?

Anyways, Troy’s up. He says, Hello, I have a client’s plumbing GMB since he wasn’t ranking in the three pack he added the physical location of the shop which is also the NAP on his website to the Google My Business as well as leaving the service areas listed are already listed. The Business Services at home and not at the shop location right it’s a service area business meaning the Business Services customers at their location, not at the business location makes sense service area business. How is this going to hurt any listings or rankings should the address be taken off yet?

It should. And the reason why is because it’s clearly stated in Google’s terms, Google My Business Terms of Service that states if you are a service area business, you should not publish your address. There are some exceptions to that.

Which sometimes, by the way, you know, there are some algorithmic or automated suspensions that can occur from that. So, I’m surprised. Well, I mean, I’m not, I’m not surprised that I’m kind of surprised that it didn’t happen already, because I have heard of people adding the physical location for a service area business, and it auto suspending it. So if you didn’t get hit with that, that’s a good thing. I would go in and remove that service area, or excuse me, the physical location from being published. And that’s because of the Google My Business, Terms of Service state that if its service area business, you’re not supposed to publish the address. There can be some exceptions for that, such as for example when I’ve used this example in the past like a kitchen remodel Kitchen Remodeling company, I may have a showroom, right? Kitchen Remodeling happens at the customer location, not at the business location. However, they may have a showroom where people can come in and see, you know, kind of mock kitchen designs and things like that. So that’s, that’s an exception where, and I’ve actually had a client that we had left the service, yet it was a service area business, but we had left the published physical location because they had a showroom, and it got suspended. And we had to contact Google My Business support and, you know, state our case, which was that they had a showroom, and they reinstated it, it was fine. It was fine. It was just a matter of, you know, going through proper channels, but it got reinstated. It was fine. But I just wanted to point that out. I would not publish the address for service area businesses unless it’s one of those rare exceptions. Okay. And that’s because they told you not to do that and I’ve seen it firsthand gets suspended because of it. Okay, any comments on that guys?

No, I agree in terms of service violation you can get yourself in a lot of trouble for that. Yeah.

Is It Okay To Upload Images From The Customer’s Location Or Should You Geotag Them With NAP?

So here’s another one from Troy and this is a great question. He says another one field techs plumbing. The plumbing techs taking pics out at service area jobs will upload directly to GMB and Instagram account since taken by phone and geotagged to that residence location so geotagged from where they took the photo right? So it’s got the GPS data embedded in the imprinted on impressed upon the image okay as part of the metadata. So, is this the best way or should all pics be geotagged with NAP and then uploaded to GMB now? Because now you got conflicting data, right? If you take a photo that was taken on location at a customer location for service area business, and then you wait to upload it till after you’ve geotagged it with additional NAP data, doesn’t that cause conflicting Geo Data on that one image, right? How can that image be taken in two different locations at the same time, it can be, right? So no, don’t do that. The benefit that you’re going to gain from taking photos on location and uploading using the GMB app, by the way, is that it uploads that GeoData from and it starts to paint a picture, right? It starts to prove to Google, that you’re in that service areas indeed, where you’re conducting business, right? If that makes sense. And so that’s one of the ways that we talk about local GMB Pro.

And that’s about as far as I want to talk about it, but and how to expand a map area footprint, if that makes sense. And I don’t mean footprint in a bad sense. I mean, in a good sense, and how you can expand your maps, listing exposure to areas outside of your immediate proximity, right, if that makes sense. Again, remember, over the last year, there have been two occasions that I’m aware of where Google is tightened to that proximity part of the algorithm, the proximity filter, they’ve narrowed it. It’s happened two times now in the last year, one within like the last three months or so two or three months. So the proximity issue is getting harder and harder to overcome. But that is still the way to overcome it is by uploading photos from that are taken from mobile devices in the service area. So out across the areas, and also as Marco teaches, you know, not just the metadata that is imprinted into the meta, you know, the GeoData that’s imprinted in the metadata of the images by uploading them, but also by taking images of known landmarks and things like that can be identified by Google through Google Street View, and things like that Google Earth and all of that, that will also prove that it’s within the service area. So those are two different ways that you benefit from that not by, you know, we talked about geotagging photos using stuff like geo setter or whatever, when you don’t have somebody in the field actually uploading original photos that were taken on location right?

We only use the geotagging software to tag photos, when as a second, you know, the next best option is a second option when we don’t have that first option implemented. So anyway, Marco, I know you want to comment on that.

Marco: Yeah, it defeats the purpose if you tag them from wherever the location is, but let’s say where you work is different from location, wherever the job is just a contractor goes out to a house 10 miles away, does a job takes the pictures, upload them there.

And then Google has all that information, versus going there getting the pictures giving them to you, then you retag I don’t understand why the whole purpose of this is you’re giving Google information from the place that you want to become relevant or related to your business, right? So if it’s 10 miles away, if it’s 20 miles away, whatever it is, you want to make that relevant to you and to your business and the way that you do that is by taking the picture they’re and uploading them there. If you upload them as some other place, and it’s going to change the data and that defeats the purpose of taking them at the location.

Bradley: Yeah, yeah. And it’s really cool. You can test this, guys, you can take a photo from your phone and upload it. Or you know, if you’ve got Google Photos on your phone so that it automatically backs them up to Google Photos I do. I’ve got an Android phone. So if you take a photo out, you know somewhere and then you go look at the metadata, it’ll show you the coordinates where it was taken, like, it’ll show you like a little Google map with a pin where it was taken. If you look at the little eye in the circles, so like the info, it’ll show you like the data that it sees from the image. So it’s pretty cool. It does that with videos too, by the way. So it’s, you know, it’s very, very powerful. And that’s it. That’s how you can kind of create a map for Google to understand like when I say a map like a surface area, by overtime you consistently upload images that are, you know, geotagged from where they were taken, uploaded through the GMB app, especially then that, you know, you can start to kind of train the bot to understand or recognize where your service area truly is. It’s not just claiming it stating it in GMB. But now you’re proving to the bot, that you indeed are servicing those areas because you’re uploading photos that are proof, like with the GeoData. So it’s a great question though.

What Is The Best Way To Index Links And Drive Stacks?

Okay, the next question is Hello there. Thank you for answering our questions. My question is, what is the best way to index links in general, and drive stacks? In particular, nowadays, mygb.co, our store, we have a link indexing service over there that works really, really well. It’s like 10 bucks for 2500 links or something like that. It’s ridiculous. So, you know, go buy an embed gig or excuse me an indexing gig over there and submit them that way. That’s one way to do it. How else could do it, Marco?

I don’t do it any other way. So I can’t say, go do it some other way, I get my legs linked index by dead if I’m looking. If I’m testing, I might try different things. So maybe when we do the heavy hitter club, we can show people the different ways that you can index links. But why am I going to do all that work when it’s not necessary? I could just go tell daddy, I need these links, links index, and then he’s gonna take them, he’s going to get about 60% or more index. And since he does multiple indexing runs, then then they the index over a period of time rather than all at once we had that question, I think, in the mastermind, so I want to make that clear to people that they don’t have to worry about, I don’t know 15 20,000 thousand links showing up all of a sudden, in their link profile. That’s not how it works. He does it over a period of time so that they index 60% Plus, and then you have this great link profile and index link and you can push it even more power if you build tiered link building to those index link, and again, data can take care of all that.

Nathan says just letting you know that some of the links about a plan still point to subspace links don’t work. Well. Thanks, Nathan shade that. As I mentioned the last time I think you made a comment about the battle plan that’s on the block for that’s in the to-do list where after 2xyouragency training is done, that will be updated one thing at a time, my man, so thank you though.

Let’s see what’s next. Troy says I’ll keep it going. Okay, Troy, yeah, might as well. I’m sure I said because there’s no other questions, guys. And by the way, if we run out of questions, we wrap it up early. So it’s up to you guys. You got questions, ask them if there’s only a handful of you here. Feel free. Okay. Otherwise, we’ll wrap it up early. I’m perfectly good with going back to finishing the training for 2xyouragency today. I’ve got a lot left to do.

Troy says I’ll keep going page borders are trending in the IM world. This week are they like what type of page builders HTML fast loading pages or still WordPress, the client needs redesign and I’m pondering page builder because so much quicker to build Google more receptive to HTML now since they weren’t a few years ago. So when you say pal, that’s it hang on. Let me after that because I know Google is not now more receptive to HTML before. They’ve always been very receptive to it to HTML. The thing is that WordPress is so popular that Google does get and I don’t care what they say, you know, they’ll tell you no, but they do give WordPress. It’s a little bit of a boost. Not much, but it’s just so damn popular. But HTML has always worked really well, because of how fast it is. It’s super fast and Google really likes that. I’ve worked in HTML forever, right? But 17-18 years, almost 17 years.

I’ve been doing this and it never stopped working. So let’s make that clear. Google isn’t any more accepted HTML now than it was before.

Yeah, and I really liked HTML, creating pages in HTML because it does they load super quick.

It’s not that hard to it’s just when you have to have dynamic stuff and you know, database and all that I like, I’m not an HTML nerd. I just use notepad plus as an HTML editor. And but I like using HTML pages because they’re quick loading and that kind of stuff. So anyway, uh, page builders are trending HTML, fast loading client needs a redesign.

So I don’t know really what that what the question is there. You know, it’s up to you.

WordPress still works. You know, I’m not crazy about WordPress. The only reason why I still use WordPress is that it’s it is, you know, like, I know it and it makes it easy for blogs and things like that, but I also don’t like WordPress, because of how many fucking updates there is all the time in that ridiculous. It’s just stupid. It’s just stupid and when you have so many damn sites that you manage it just you know, it’s just a pain in the ass. And even if you use something like main WP or whatever, they always end up being issues and every time there’s an update, you know, one or two sites out of the dozens and dozens that you manage end up having some sort of conflict and, you know, it’s just a pain in the balls. That’s why I try to run WordPress sites as light as possible, right? So the like, as little as few plugins as possible, and that kind of stuff because it’s just a nightmare dealing with on a regular basis. So, you know, pick and choose whatever, whatever you feel most comfortable with. You know, I still would build a new client site on WordPress just because of the ease with which I could build it. And then add content and all that kind of stuff. But I do like HTML for the various reasons that I just mentioned. Now that depends on how proficient he is with HTML, you can build a WordPress hybrid with HTML, right? And you can type HTML pages to your WordPress. That’s not a problem.

Yeah, it just depends it depends on on on how far you want to go with it. But I can tell you right now that you can rank WordPress, HTML, and literally just about anything on the web, if you work the entity guy says edit if you’re not doing entity-based SEO right now, if you’re worried about which builder you’re going to use, rather than how you’re going to set up your entity you starting off on the wrong foot. Yeah, I agree with entity-based SEO. It’s for the Semantic Web is that the bot is looking at. You’re not doing that you’re fucking it up.

Nicely said. Nathan says Troy takes the photos via the GMB app on the iPhone. Google loves those photos and you will get more eyeballs on your GMB. Yeah, it doesn’t have to be the app on the iPhone. It could be on your Android to just the GMB app period. right, that’s the point of load. By the way, you know, you can, you can give your field techs access as like a communications manager or whatever they call it a so that they can upload directly to the GMB as a contributor, which means they could not only upload photos, but they could also post GMB posts from through the GMB app directly to your GMB profile for the business. However, you can also upload photos and still get the benefit as a guest like so. In other words, a guest uploaded photos. So even if your texts that field technicians didn’t have manager access to the GMB they could still take photos and upload them with the geotag data, right metadata directly to the GMB as guest photos, user-generated photos right and it still has the same benefit. The only difference is you don’t get to add create a post from it with a call to action and squeeze keywords and such. But that the image SEO still has an effect even as a guest upload, right a user upload as opposed to a manager upload. Okay.

Troy says, Thanks, Jen. It’s always great. How’s it been a few weeks and just saw the pricing on 2xyouragency? Agree with Bradley, you’re nuts. Going to sign up before your sanity comes back? Yeah, Troy, you think I’m nuts? I think I’m nuts. Because I’m the one spending all this time doing all the videos and it’s a lot of fucking time will tell you that a lot of time and I got nine more weeks to go. So anyways,

How Do You Generate More GMB Calls For A Client With 4 Offices In Different Cities?

Next question. I just landed a big client who has four offices in different cities near each other and my main objective is to generate more calls from their GMB pages. So I figured this is where I can show the biggest and fastest results. I was thinking about doing a big SEO shield for the brand first and as local SEO shields for the specific GMB pages. Any better idea?

Well, yeah, I mean, you can do it all underneath the one branded shield. I think I’m pretty sure Marco is going to suggest that and I’m going to let Marco take over this one, I would, I would assume that you can push all of that through the primary SEO shield, which would be your drive stack and all of that. And then you can create location-based optimized folders within the stack instead of having these different stacks and all of that you can do it all under one and you actually get more power out of it that way than having different stacks, at least through my experience. Marco, this one is definitely yours.

Marco: Yeah, well, I mean, we’re thinking brand, I was supposed to be thinking brand, we should be thinking brand. If we don’t. Right now, like what I’m recommending to everyone is thinking of a catchy name because you know, women’s shoes. Chicago is not a brand. That’s a keyword. Right? New women should just, those are not brand. Think of brands think of a name that you want for your company that’s catchy and that’s going to last right? It’s going to stand the test of time. Why? Because if you hit that one, you got that unicorn. If you got that one that for whatever reason, becomes the keyword for the niche. Then not that’s an ATM, that’s a 24 hour, 365 ATM, it’s going to pour money in your pocket and your client, hopefully, it’s your idea. But that’s the way you should all be looking at the project even if you have to do local which is a brand plus location plus keyword association, you’re looking at the brand always. So even if it’s different cities, that should be one main office, right? McDonald’s they differentiate between McDonald’s Corporation and then the franchises and the franchisees and then everything else that McDonald’s does. It’s not one McDonald’s in one place and then another one in orphaned in another place or whatever. No, it’s all one big brand.

Look at how the big boys take on the internet. Look at how they set it all up, look at how they set up the franchise model or the multiple cities, multiple office model and do the do that they do. Because if you don’t, you’re going to be left behind. If you start now and you starting it off, right and you’re working, just praying, just from that aspect, then you’re going to know that everything that you do needs to relate to that brand and to everything that’s under that brand. You claim your footprint, right? You’re going to claim all your social profiles you go and everything that excuses me, everything that you set up, should be with you looking to create that brand plus keyword association. Not everyone is in the eye and I talked about this during the charity webinars, not all of you will be able to make your project the next Amazon, or the next Google or the next, whatever, but you should be working as if that’s going to happen. And the way that we can push power right now the way that we do things at Semantic Mastery. It’s a wide-open field. It’s even it’s an even playing field. So that I’ll be we saw the test cases in, in our mastermind, where Dadia went after Amazon and he’s fighting Amazon, Walmart, you name it, in the e-commerce space, and he’s carved his niche. He’s there and the client is happier than a pig and shit.

Bradley: It’s impressive. I mean, in such a short period of time, to like with ecom to take on Walmart and Amazon and be competitive with them in such a short period of time. It’s absolutely incredible. It’s impressive. So anyway, there you go. And yeah, you know, what’s interesting guys in the 2xyouragency training, the Double Your Agency training, you know, like I said, I should finish today we this training and it’s all about the first four weeks is about to extra pipeline. It’s about increasing, filling your pipeline full of leads, prospects so that you can never have to worry about revenue again for your agency. You can not only sell more clients, close more clients generate more revenue but you can also cherry-pick the best ones. Because the problem is if you only got 10 leads coming in your business, you know, you are desperate to try to close as many of those 10 as possible and it comes across in everything that you say your actions, your tone of voice. Everything it comes across as desperate because you need the revenue and you only got 10 prospects to talk to. If you had 100 prospects to talk to be completely different psychology. So anyway, I taught the reason I brought that up is that the whole first four weeks is about building your brand. Exactly what Marco was talking about, but there is an SEO benefit to it. But I’m not talking about building your brand. In SEO terms, there is a portion of that where I talk about it, but most of it is about building your brand so that you become synonymous with whatever product or service it is that you’re trying to promote.

So for example, I talked about niching down, that’s how I prefer to do it, I think it’s much easier to scale an agency that way. So like associating your primary keyword which may be Tree Service SEO or like for me, for example, or Tree Service marketing or Tree Service, lead generation, whatever it is, with the brand name, and it’s about building that brand in that association and so the whole first four weeks is about really building your own brand first. That’s super important because that’s how you start like Marco said, once you become once the association has been generated, not just within Google, but also within other within you know, prospects’ minds, customer, potential target’s minds that’s like an ATM, it’s a 24-hour machine, you know, cash machine that’s just going to constantly deliver money. That’s where you want to be for your own agency as well as for your clients, you want to be able to reproduce that duplicate that for your clients and have and help them become the branded verb. Do you know what I mean? Like, you want them to be the ones that are associated with their product or service in their local area. And the way that you do that is through what Marco calls entity SEO. It’s about building that brand. And that’s incredibly I mean, that’s absolutely true. It’s about branding, that’s you want to kill it in SEO, build the fucking brand period. That’s just the way it is now, and it’s only going to continue to go further in that direction, in my opinion. So

Marco: Yeah, it’s not just an opinion. It’s what Google is telling you. I mean, that everything that they’ve come out with, and I’m just seeing this all over with people that just they have no clue. And it’s all about into all of these people that saw drops in whatever they were doing is because their entity wasn’t right and those who benefited or didn’t see any changes, or because they’re doing things right. To me, it’s funny because the only way that we find out about updates is like when people come in on Hump Day or in our groups and tell us, you guys see that update? And we’re like, No, no, but let me go and see what it’s about. I know what it’s about, I saw what it’s about Google tells you, what is about Google tells you, I mean, almost to the letter what they want. And then John Mueller will go and tell you the opposite so that you don’t know what to do. So you gotta go sift through all of that to get the right information, because you got a lot of people that are just spreading the Google word, without understanding what it is that they’re saying without even understanding what it is that John Mueller is saying. Cuz a lot of times what John Mueller says and what he means are two totally different things. Don’t pay attention to John Mueller. If you don’t want to believe Marco that then don’t believe Marco go and test and see for yourself. Whether what I’m telling you entity basis seal, whether that’s what’s working right now, and I guarantee you that you’re going to get results. If you do the things right, set up your SEO shield, and then do the things that are in the battle plan that we recommend for your entity. And it’s just a done deal. It’s so simple, it’s ridiculous. And you can go up against anyone I’m telling you right now that you can take on anyone in the internet space and when

Bradley: I think Hernan is gonna contribute?

Hernan: Absolutely. Yeah, I was about to say on a different branding perspective, branding from the perspective of creating a brand to attract customers, not from the SEO perspective, that is something that I’ll be contributing as well with, you know, which is going to be a brand new course for or an email prospecting course for digital agency owners. So basically, how to use my case, which is my wheelhouse, which is going to be Facebook. How do you leverage Facebook and Facebook ads, not the organic stuff, not the fact that you need to post 1000 times a day and be glued to your phone and you know, look like a teenager? Not we’re not talking about that, right? We’re talking about like doing real business. We’re talking about doing real business, not influencer type stuff, but the real stuff. Because you also need to build and run your business, right? So, you know, my idea is to show you real quick how you can build a brand around yourself so that you can pipe those leads into whatever your sales process is, whether it is like talking to you, or if you have a salesperson or a call center, whatever that is. But I’m going to share with you guys how to do that in 2xa. That’s going to be available, you know, next week for sure. So it’s going to be in 2xyouragency as well. So there you go.

Marco: Yeah, no, I would just add to people that when you’re building your brand when you’re talking about your brand, it’s that’s something that you separate from your SEO brand. It’s all your brand. Your brand is how you’re going to do business, but it’s going to be your calling card on the web, and you can’t call yourself Joe Schmo from Kokomo anymore and expect to go up again when Google is benefiting brands. And so again, if you’re not working towards that brand, towards becoming the keyword for the niche, right, like you said to become the verb in your niche, then you’re not. Forget it, you’re gonna have to do so much work. So much work to make it right, that you may as well just start doing it right, as right from the beginning, work on that brand. Think of that print, work with your client on that brand when they tell you well, I want the keyword in the city. No, that’s not the way that you should do things you should think about your business and how it is that you want to present yourself to the customer to the client to people on the web. How do you want your brand to appear to the people who are looking for your products and services or whatever it is that you are selling?

Bradley: Yeah, anyway, that’s, you know, guys, this what’s great about this is. Remember, you’re hearing from multiple agency owners here too. And we all have, you know, we all understand the importance of that whole branding thing. There’s the SEO aspect of it, but it’s all one and the same now you shouldn’t separate the two. Building the brand, and SEOing the brand is one and the same. And so again, it’s good to hear an opinion from Marco and from Hernan, and for myself. We each have our own successful agencies beyond what we do here at Semantic Mastery. So it’s good to know that you know, we’re speaking from experience, right, this isn’t just theory.

Any Thoughts On The Erratic Movement Of Websites In Google Search Console?

Fitz says Good day. Good day, guys. Thanks for this forum. I noticed the three of my sites show in the Search Console are going up and down together. Why do you guess this is happening? They are in different states. Honestly. I have no idea. I mean, there’s there could be a ton of variables there that you know, questions I could have about that fits that we’re obviously not gonna be able to get to the bottom of right now. I can’t imagine what would cause something like that unless they were all three sites were hosted on the same host. And there’s some sort of hosting issue. I don’t know how what the connection there would be. It could just be a coincidence. It’s unlikely, but there’s got to be some. I don’t know. Is there any of you guys have any speculation on any of that? not really enough information there to go on. But no,

Marco: no, because we’d have to go and look at each one specifically and see how they’re related, whether they’re related to why Google created that relationship? Well, if Google created the relationship, why there’s a lot of things that we have to look at.

Bradley: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something would have to be investigated fits. Come join the mastermind and you can submit that to one of our mastermind webinars. And we’ll be happy to audit it and look into it.

How Does Responding To Reviews Help In Ranking GMB?

Muhamed, What’s up buddy says Hey guys, how does responding to reviews and GMB help things is it only good because its activity and GMB type of client was avoiding responding to negative GMB reviews and I’m prodding him to do so both for activity and reputation purposes. Okay, I think there’s, look, we already know we can rank without reviews with none, right? So reviews can be a factor, but they’re not necessary or critical, right? So in my experience, the reason why I suggest responding to reviews both positive and negative, I tell all my clients to respond to reviews positive and negative for two reasons. Number one, it’s additional activity. Number two, it shows to your users, two people that end up seeing your brand that you’re engaged with your customers, right or that the brand is engaging with their customers. And number three, because it gives you the opportunity to now inject additional keywords and location modifiers into a response because a lot of the time, I think about most reviews that customers leave, don’t have any keywords in them whatsoever or location details, right? A lot of them are just saying, hey, it was awesome, thanks, guys. I mean, it might have like, you know, hey, they called these guys to come to remove a tree and they did a really good job, we really, you know, clean up afterward, it was great, I’ll call them again, highly recommend it, but other than saying remove a tree, there’s no other indication there as to what has been done. They’re just saying that they did a great job, which is great. But what I like to do is have, you know, go in and in reply to that and say, you know, thank you for your kind words, it was a pleasure perform, you know, handling that tree removal job for you in Fairfax. You know, we encourage you to contact us and next time you have some tree care work, you know, or tree care needs or something right. So now you squeezed in multiple keywords, as well as a location modifier. So that’s why I like to do that and I have all of my clients, you know, what I’ll do is when I send out monthly reports, I have my VA always take screenshots of GMB insights and stuff like that. And one of the things that we look at is the reviews to see if any new reviews have been posted in the last month and if so have they been responded to? Because if not, then when I send the monthly reports to my clients, I mentioned that in the commentary in the email that I send my clients say, Hey, you know, I noticed that you got two new reviews this month that hadn’t been replied to, here’s the links directly to them, please go reply. And I send that to them. And again, and I’ve trained all of my clients to do exactly what I mentioned, which was to squeeze in a keyword and or location modifier or a couple of keywords if they can, and not a spammy way, but in a very conversational way. But again, it’s not necessary. I think it’s important to do it is something that will move the needle, but it’s not critical. What do you guys think? Any comments on that?

Marco: Yeah, definitely, man because people look at reviews the wrong way. People look at okay, I should have all five-star reviews and that’s all I need to pay attention to and I don’t need to do anything else. But the reviews and responding to reviews, well you’re using the voice of your brand to talk to your customers. Again we go back to the brand, man. This is your voice, right? The voice of your brand reaching out to this dissatisfied customer because they came to you with pain. They came to you with a problem and you did not solve the problem. You didn’t take care of the pain. So now there’s a problem that not only did you not take care of that, but they have a problem with you and with your brand. So this is the perfect time to go in there and say hey, look, yeah, we fucked up. You’re not going to say it in these words. But this is what I tell. This is what I tell the people when I’m in a consultation, and they asked me about reviews. Go tell the person that you fucked up and then you go tell them how can we make it right for you, help us make it right for you. So that may create a dialogue with this person. And then what that does is it makes your brand stand out from the rest. Not only did you respond, but you offered to make it right and now you’re in an open dialogue with this person who gave you a bad review, and you’re looking to make it right you know how that makes it look makes you look like you have the best customer service in the industry, it’s actually a place where you can shine. Even though the review started out being bad. Just by talking to the customer and offering, look let me make it right for you. How can we make it? How can we help you? And sometimes that there’s no fuck off, I don’t need you anymore, right? But then that makes them look shitty. Because you’re being open, you’re being honest. And you’re willing to help and you’re willing to make it right. So that puts it back on them instead of it all being on you leaving that negative review just without response. No chirp, chirp chirp. Make it makes you look really bad.

Bradley: And on rare occasions, you can turn a negative battery review, what initially was a bad review, into a positive and end up turning that customer into a brand advocate. Exactly. It’s a rare occasion that that happens. But if you bend over backward to make something, right that was a fuckup on your part or not, you know, whatever but if you bend over to make it right then sometimes you can turn that customer into, you know, an ambassador for the company because they’ll go out and you know, sing praises about your business and recommend you to friends and family and such because they had what started off as a bad experience, but turned into a good one.

Okay, and so just keep that in mind. Remember, guys, think of setbacks, as you know, Napoleon Hill. I think it was Dale Carnegie that actually said it, but Napoleon Hill was the one that published it and you know, really made it famous. The quote, which was, for every adversity, there’s a seed of equal or greater benefit, right. And so if you think about that, and it’s funny, I’m listening to an audiobook right now that I’m really enjoying, I’m only in chapter two, but it’s called Black Box Thinking. And it’s all about how you know you if you take your failures and analyze them the way the airline industries do with the black box, right? They always admit they don’t ever try to cover up mistakes or hide mistakes or try to downplay mistakes, they take all mistakes head-on, and they analyze the data and make it publicly available for everybody so that they can improve processes and improve how flights you know are handled and things like that. And so anyway, it’s just an analogy to say, hit a challenge head-on. And that’ll make you stand out and figure out a way to learn from that to improve processes so that it doesn’t happen again. It will make it a stronger business stronger, brand stronger, stronger company. And so again, just think about it that way. You know, I love that statement. I say to myself all the time when I run into a challenge, something that, you know, if I mess up, you know, I fail, you know, have some sort of failure or something. You know, for every adversity there’s a seed of equal or greater benefit. So just remember that. Just look for the way to improve upon a process when you’ve been notified of a setback or you know, an insufficiency or whatever. That makes sense. So anyway, all this is covered in 2xyouragency, guys. You should join it. And Muhamed, it says PS my situation is slowly improving, and I will take my stable place back into masterminds. And yes, you’re always welcome. And the door’s always open to you.

What Are The Potential Problems If You Have Multiple Keywords Floating Around Page 2?

Austin says, Do you have multiple if you have multiple keywords just floating around page two? What would you think about the problem maybe? Let’s say the on pages type? Again, that’s kind of a loaded question in that it could be a number of things. I could speculate on, you know, 18 different things that it could be. What I would recommend doing, if you say you’re on pages tight, let’s just assume that it is and you’ve got keywords that are floating on page two, I drive some damn relevant traffic to those pages. Because that is my go-to thing when you’ve done other on-page and you’ve done some off-page stuff and you’re still struggling to get the results that you want. I found ART – activity, relevance, trust, and authority. If you can provide engagement activity to that you will see a significant movement. Right, it will definitely move the needle. And so what I would do is buy some traffic, some relevant traffic from Google to those pages and see what happens. That’s what I would do. Any suggestions on that Marco?

Marco: No, not without knowing the what off-page he’s done. But it could be that the competition is keeping him from page one, right? It could be that he hasn’t pushed enough power to those to go from page two to page one. So I don’t know enough to give an opinion. But absolutely activity, relevance, trust, and authority is all you need. When you’re sitting there on page two ready to jumping into page one but you really haven’t made it yet. If you’re on pages is right. And your entities type then the next step is the is off-page. What’s happening off-page Yeah.

Bradley: Yeah, and you can buy some relevant traffic from YouTube. Although that’s more for views than for clicks, you can get some clicks, and it will be relevant. But you can use the Display Network for Google ads for way less expensive than search ads and drive relevant traffic to your pages. And Google knows is relevant because you set it up through your audience targeting right. So you can set up in-market audiences, custom intent audiences, whatever, layer them, so you bind audiences. It’s called layering. You know, you can do that as well. But my point is, now you’re buying traffic to pages that from a relevant audience that it’s an audience that you’re purchasing from Google, right? You’re tapping into a Google audience that Google is telling you is relevant. So you’re buying relevant traffic directly from Google. And now those are relevant signals that Google is waiting higher than just some random ass traffic if that makes sense. Because Google understands there’s already has a profile developed for those visitors, and it’s already identified them as you know, a relevant audience before they even hit your page is my point. So again, those are highly weighted traffic signals. And I don’t care what Google says about buying traffic from Google Ads doesn’t help SEO. That’s just like telling you that link wheels don’t work and press releases don’t work and guest posts don’t work and all that right. How’s that working out for you guys?

Alright, we’re about out of time. Guys, I’m sorry. There are a couple of good questions. We’re not going to be able to get to

Is Blogger A Good Substitute For WordPress For Blogging?

last one fit says is Blogger a good substitute for WordPress for blogging? Not really, because you’re so limited which you can do with Blogger. You know, the self-hosted WordPress site gives you a lot of functionality. Blogger, I mean, it can be used, but you’re limited in design. Well, I don’t know. I’ve never tried to design within Blogger. I’ve just use default themes or whatever. So I can’t answer that for sure. Except if it was a good substitute, it would probably be a lot more prevalent and I rarely ever see any blogs on Blogger that have any measurable amount of traffic. Any comments on that?

Marco: Yeah, let’s say tested and little know how it turns out because it’s I’d have to speculate since I’ve never used Blogger for anything other than links back to my content.

Alright, so Clint and decline, I don’t know if that’s your name or what anyways, you guys, sorry, I didn’t get to your questions. If you post them in the Facebook group, we can try to answer them over there. Or you can repost them until next for next week’s Hump Day Hangouts and we’ll get to them there. But either way, sorry, guys, we didn’t get to you but we are out of time. So thanks, everybody, for being here. Thank you, guys. Bye, everyone. Go get better, Hernan. Thank you. I’ll try. Alright guys, bye everybody. See ya. See ya.

  Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 273 posted first on http://beyondvapepage.blogspot.com

[angelagiles18]

Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 273

Click on the video above to watch Episode 273 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.

Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.

The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.

Announcement

Hello everybody and welcome to Hump Day hangouts. Today is the fifth of February 2020. I’m still working on saying 2020 so that’s why I got off well slow but you guys but I keep finding myself right in the last year but I guess that’s just the way it goes. So anyways on to more interesting subjects like answering your questions and seeing what we can help everyone out with. But before we get into that, I want to say hello to the guys. I got some short announcements and then we will jump into it. So starting on my left here, Bradley, how are you doing today?

Bradley: Fantastic, man. I’ve been recording videos all day for the 2xyouragency stuff. Man, I can’t believe we’re selling it for what we’re selling it for. That’s all I gotta say. A lot of content, man.

Adam: If you’re gonna say that but I’m going to say go to 2xyouragency.com.

Chris: Just increase prices.

Bradley: We’re only three weeks into a 12-week course, man, and it’s just a massive amount of value. So anyway, I hope you guys take advantage of our stupidity.

Adam: Well, what Bradley meant to say was, we help digital agency owners get more clients, grow the revenue and scale their teams. All right. So you know, two big things that we find important and I know Bradley’s joking around. But you know, we want to work less and earn more and not that we want to do nothing, but we want to spend our time doing the things we want to do. All right. And that’s what this is all about. So we’ve heard that commonly, from a lot of you guys who are listening, and then people, other people out there, we’ve talked to you, you know, those are the three main things that we can help you do so that you can work less and earn more and spend time doing what you want to do.

Bradley: Yeah.

Adam: Chris, how you doing, man?

Chris: Yeah, like I’m suffering like the temperature struggle here. About 10 days ago, it wasn’t the mountains -17 degrees Celsius. So until for the whole weekend, and until Monday, we had about 19 degrees plus and then Tuesday, a big storm came. And last night we got about half a meter snow dumped out and it’s fucking cold again. So I’m surprised that I’m healthy and like not like having any cold or something like that. But yeah, I don’t know like other than that. Life is good.

Adam: All right. Well, speaking of the cold, Hernan, how are you doing?

Hernan: I’m doing awesome, dude. I’m doing awesome. I’m feeling like shit, but here’s the deal. Okay. Okay, so do two quick things. Stop laughing. It sounds funny. All right. So quick, two quick things. Number one is that thank you guys for the amazing support for the launch of 2xyouragency was awesome. So thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We’re pouring a lot of value in that Semantic Mastery style. We’re trying to over-deliver 2xyouragency.com. That is number one. Number two is that last week, I went to Funnel Hacking Live and I had the honor and the privilege and the pleasure of getting, on behalf of the whole Semantic Mastery team, the two comma club that we made that possible. Thanks to all of you guys. So I’m feeling like crap, but I’m super proud of the team that we have here. And I’m super proud for, you know, and I don’t have words to thank you, guys, everyone that’s watching the YouTube channel, subscribing, commenting, sharing, you know, buying our product supporting the brand. It’s been quite a ride. And you know, last year, we were sitting with Adam in Nashville, Tennessee, and I was like, dude, I think it would be pretty awesome if we hop on stage together to come to a co or and then lo and behold, we got it. So anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m super proud of that. Super proud of the team. And thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you.

Adam: Awesome. Yeah, I was too cool for school to go up there with Hernan. I was hanging out in Puerto Rico for a little while. So I had to miss that. But now I’m really glad I didn’t go because apparently I would have gotten sick as hell. Yeah.

Hernan: Yeah. So I went in, I took a bullet for the team, but also, we might have I also got to network with some awesome people, some awesome entrepreneurs, so we might be having them on subsequent hangouts moving forward, so that’s gonna be a blast to some

Adam: awesome good stuff. All right, and Marco, how you doing today?

Marco: Oh, dude, I’m stuck here under almost 20 inches of sun. It’s horrible. Look outside in and not a cloud in the sky 82 degrees. It’ll be around 60, At nightm it’s terrible. I tell you don’t anybody come here. For any of this, you don’t want it. You don’t want paradise, trust me. But what I’m going to do those I’m going to go on a record like to the new house that I just moved into over, there’s a green area and I got two volcanoes in the background to just big mountains. So I’m going to go and do a quick live stream so you guys can see where it is that Marco because it doesn’t get any better than this, man. Eighty degrees in the during the day 60-65 at night. And that’s life guys and what we’re trying to do. You live is that you put whatever you’re POFU is, it doesn’t have to be this. You could it could be that you want to go to Antarctica and set up camp there me you’re more than welcome. That’s your POFU, we’re with you. And we will help you get there. That’s our whole point right behind all this, the 2xyouragency and all of the products and services that we provided so that people can get to the point where they can say, I’m going to do what I want to do rather than what I have to do, to see how the hell I’m gonna make it to the end of the month. I’m going to pay my bills. We don’t want your living that life. We want you living a life where you work less, make more money, and then you could do whatever the fuck you want with your money. And I’ll leave it at that.

Adam: Fair enough. Well, I don’t have too much to add on to that except to say let’s see, nice and sunny. It’s nice to be back home. I enjoy traveling a lot but I don’t know about you guys. I enjoy getting back into the routine as well. Having the flow you know kind of getting out starting my day having that after a week or two on the road and start getting kind of tired and like Okay, I’m ready to get back to it now. I see Bradley shaking his head you feel the same right?

Bradley: Oh my god, dude, there’s so much freedom in routine, I swear to god like I don’t know how you guys are not and you and Chris do it because you trappy the three of you travel so much and work and I just can’t do it. I can’t get motivated. When I’m away from my work environment. It’s very difficult to stay focused for me when I’m outside of this environment. And so, you know, like I said to me, I’m like, I feel so out of sorts, even taking a vacation you know, coming back and getting back into my normal routine is like liberating you know, so I don’t know I get stressed out when I’m on the road. You know when it comes to working stuff so

Adam: but I also see Bradley not being stressed out on the road and that’s it perfectly live. If you want to see Bradley unchained and hit him up for some good off. Off the record info, you need to come to POFU Live. We’ve locked down. We are going to be in Boston this year in 2020. It’s going to be. I forget the exact dates but I believe it’s the last weekend in September and so now is the time to go ahead and lock in your tickets. We’re limiting it to 25 people this year. So if you go to pofulive.com, you can grab your ticket early.

  I’ve got a couple more announcements I want to share with everyone. You heard us talking about double your agency. If you’re new to us, or you’re new to Semantic Mastery, then you know, there are two great places you can get started with us. You’ve already found the first one and that’s Hump Day Hangout show up every Wednesday. If you can’t make it live, you can always ask the question on the page, and then check out our YouTube channel for the answers. So go ahead and hit subscribe on the YouTube channel. Stay up to date with all that. But like I said, we help digital agency owners and consultants get more clients, right? Grow their revenue and scale their teams. All right, so that you can work less and earn more if you want to know more about that. Just go to 2xyouragency.com. All right, and then additionally, a lot of people ask us, you know, Hey, you guys have a step by step process for maybe working with aged domains or how about a new website or how do I use YouTube channels or how do I do GMB stuff? Go check out the Battle Plan if you don’t have the Battle Plan yet, you can find that at battleplan.semanticmastery.com. And last but certainly not least, if you’re doing done for you services or you’re working on your own projects, or you’re working with clients, you need to be checking out mgyb.co. Stuff like link building, the SEO shield, which if you don’t know what that is, head over there, find out press releases, there are more services come in, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But make sure that you head over there, and you’re putting that to use and that falls into line with what we’re teaching at 2xyouragency.com, you know, as part of the fulfillment and getting yourself out of the fulfillment role and really, and really trying to run business. So with that said, you guys, is there any other announcements before we dive into the questions?

Marco: Let’s do this man.

Bradley: All right, let me grab a screen. Standby. Can you confirm?

Adam: Good to go.

Does The Middle Option In The RYS Drive Stacks Refer To The Classic Or The New Version Of G Sites?

Okay. So looks like Justin is up first. He says for the RYS drive stack. He’s been really active in the Facebook community too. So pretty cool. I love it when people come in and you know, are active and engaged because that’s how you start to grow. Right? So that’s awesome. Justin, he says for the RYS drive stacks for the middle option with the old slash new Google Sites. Is that referring to classic? So you must be talking about when you order from MGYB, he’s asking is that referring to classic/new versions of G sites, both newly created or an aged site as well as a newly created site. That’s the versions, they’re both going to be new.

But we’re talking about classic plus classic Google Sites plus the new Google Sites. Marco was talking about new Google Sites just yesterday with … I saw I’m going to say then, but there’s a so so it’s both in both new sites, but one is on the newer platform. Any old in the other side is on the old Google Sites. So it’s not about aged in new sites if that makes sense.

How Does The Twitter Account For An Extra Hundred Bucks Integrate?

Bradley: Last part of that is how does the Twitter account for an extra hundred bucks integrate? Thanks and Marco I’ll let you take that one.

Marco: Uh, that gets tied to your branded Twitter account. So it becomes a secondary Twitter account that retweets tweets from relevant sources, right? That trusted, authoritative, relevant sources in Twitter, so that your tweets are combined with those relevant, trusted, authoritative tweets so that you draw authority from those and it goes into a tiered network for just your tweets. So that’s what that is. And that’s why we charge extra because you get a persona network, right? A tiered persona network for your tweets and additional tweets to bring back all of that relevance to your website, to your project to wherever it is that you’re sending people when you tweet, your tweet will contain links, it’ll contain information is going to contain, I don’t know, videos, maps, whatever it is that you choose to tweet out. And that’s how you would use that.

  Bradley: There you go, Gordon’s up sup, Gordon? He says, Hey, guys, I have no questions for today. Oh, wow. That’s a rarity, Gordon. He says, even though it’s a little bit late, and I just wanted to wish you much happiness, good health and continued success and prosperity for 2020 and beyond. And also to again, declare a heartfelt thank you for helping your customers by sharing your knowledge with us on these hump days. You’re the best that would be a good one for the testimonials, guys. Thanks, Gordon. We always appreciate you coming in and participating. You’ve been a member or in the audience for many years, a participant for many years, I should say. So thank you for that. We always appreciate you as well. And here comes another superstar, Muhammad. What’s up my buddy? Who said thank you, Al Gore, was turned on to

Should You Use A Unique Title Tags For A Crowded Industry?

and Mohammed, he’s another superstar. He’s been in and out of the mastermind but he’s growing which is awesome. So what’s up man? And he says, hey guys when it comes to the title tags for a crowded industry, do I have to have a unique one my car dealer client is in a big city and all the page one companies seem to have some variations of new cars in city or new that new comma used cars and city. Usually, I try to make my title tag stand out, but in this case, should I just copy what the competition is doing? It’s my focus on uniqueness even justified, I don’t remember learning it. Okay. I’m going to give you my opinion on this and I’m sure that there are probably some differences from some of the other guys.

When it comes to title tags unless it’s a blog post. If it’s a page where you know, for lead generation, I just use the keyword whatever the primary keyword is that I’m trying to target for that page becomes my at least the first part of the title tag. I might include a phone number in the title tag as well as the brand, right? But the first part of the title tag is going to be just that primary keyword, not a modification of it. It’s just the primary keyword, then I’ll have the phone number then the brand or something, some similar variation of that. But it’s always just the primary keyword where I try to have to stand out as in the meta description, right. And that’s where I try to write, you know, I do a lot of Google Ads now. And so I have the benefit of split testing a lot of headlines and descriptions. And because of that, I tend to try to write my meta descriptions as ad copy, so it’s compelling. So that’s what I try to do to stand out. And the reason why I say that is because I want that keyword and the SEO title is a significant ranking factor for a piece of content, at least in my experience, and I’ve kept at that process for many years now. So I always want that primary keyword as the title, the first part of the title tag two, and then I’ll use the ad copy or excuse me, the meta description, optimized that like it’s ad copy to try to entice a click. And that’s typically how I do it. But I’m sure some of the other guys have some other input to put on this. So just to clarify, Mohammed, my opinion would be to do what your competitors are doing when it comes to the title tag, but then try to make your meta description stand out as much as possible. And one of the ways to do that, which may be Marco can touch on this a little bit more if he doesn’t get mad at me for saying this, has to include jump links because they can get pulled into the meta description. Remember, if you have a piece of content and you have like a table of contents, you have jump links within the content, those can actually get pulled into the meta description so it extends your search space, right? The real estate that you take upon the space on and plus it also draws the eyes to it because it’s got a blue clickable link right from within the meta description. So those are also things that you can do to help us kind of stand out. Marco would say you?

Marco: Well on understanding how the algorithm is working right now how it was tweaked how they’re trying to cater to NLP and any neural matching this is when you really have to focus on why brands are becoming more and more important as we go into the Semantic Web. Yeah, you could do it like that. You could do it just focus on the keyword like you said to include the brand and the exact match keyword but the broad match right. So if selling new cars and your domain has new cars, new cars com, so you can’t go new cars, com new cars for sale, it becomes nearly impossible to avoid over-optimizing everything on your website and if you had focused on your brand, which is usually a name, probably a family name, right? And plus, and then the carmaker, and then the location, model, you might want to include the model, if it’s opposed for whatever it is, however it is that you’re trying to frame it, it would be a whole lot easier if you concentrated on the brand. And then once you’re focusing on the brand, to do as much as you can for the entity of that brand around the web, so that now you’re setting yourself up to two ways.

The way Bradley said it becomes unique. Your description is in fact, your ad copy, because you’re in front of a user, and that user is going to look at these results. And the one that catches the eye is the one that’s going to get the click or the one it’s just sometimes that they go to that first one. There’s a lot of people that will go multiples, and that there’s a lot of people where you get that bold, right those descriptions and those titles in bold and maybe that’ll catch their eye. This is why it’s so important to have that keyword that you’re focusing on. But if you’re focusing on brand, you’re not going to run into over-optimization issues. So you have two things, you’re taking care of that ad copy. You’re taking care of that title and that description, and you’re taking care of your entity so that in every way possible, you just differentiated yourself from everyone else in the industry that’s doing the same damn thing. And so now you’re giving the bot a reason to choose your entity over the others when… I don’t know how deep I can get into this, Mohammed, go look at the charity webinars because I went deep into this and into the entity into the fact that all Google is doing is it’s comparing. It’s comparing entities. It’s in a relational database and it relates all of the entities to one another. And all of the whatever vectors it has for that entity, vectors are simply numbers, right? This zero to eight and so whatever it has in its system and its servers, when it’s looking for the entities, which one matches the entity the best, or what it thinks the optimal entity is, if yours is the closest to that, it’s going to draw more attention from the bots. It’s gonna draw more love. That’s why our @ID pages work so fucking well because we’re just feeding the bots all of the information about our entity and we do it over and over and over again. We loop it, we scoop it, and it has no choice but to do what we want it to do. That’s why I’m surprised that he’s not back in our mastermind already asking not only these questions but going deeper into this because we go a whole lot deeper about the entity and all of the different things that you could do to trap that body in there. And just to set yourself completely apart from everybody else. It’s part of our SEO power shield. And as part of what I’m calling worried less SEO, we just don’t worry about updates. It doesn’t matter. We don’t care what Google does, because we’re already optimized for Google. Even though Google says you can’t optimize for natural language processing and AI. Yeah, and I call that bullshit.

Bradley: Yeah. I love that you can’t optimize for the new updates. Okay. All right. The people that say that just don’t have a Marco on their team.

Would It Trigger A Penalty If You Publish An Address For A Service Area GMB Page?

Anyways, Troy’s up. He says, Hello, I have a client’s plumbing GMB since he wasn’t ranking in the three pack he added the physical location of the shop which is also the NAP on his website to the Google My Business as well as leaving the service areas listed are already listed. The Business Services at home and not at the shop location right it’s a service area business meaning the Business Services customers at their location, not at the business location makes sense service area business. How is this going to hurt any listings or rankings should the address be taken off yet?

It should. And the reason why is because it’s clearly stated in Google’s terms, Google My Business Terms of Service that states if you are a service area business, you should not publish your address. There are some exceptions to that.

Which sometimes, by the way, you know, there are some algorithmic or automated suspensions that can occur from that. So, I’m surprised. Well, I mean, I’m not, I’m not surprised that I’m kind of surprised that it didn’t happen already, because I have heard of people adding the physical location for a service area business, and it auto suspending it. So if you didn’t get hit with that, that’s a good thing. I would go in and remove that service area, or excuse me, the physical location from being published. And that’s because of the Google My Business, Terms of Service state that if its service area business, you’re not supposed to publish the address. There can be some exceptions for that, such as for example when I’ve used this example in the past like a kitchen remodel Kitchen Remodeling company, I may have a showroom, right? Kitchen Remodeling happens at the customer location, not at the business location. However, they may have a showroom where people can come in and see, you know, kind of mock kitchen designs and things like that. So that’s, that’s an exception where, and I’ve actually had a client that we had left the service, yet it was a service area business, but we had left the published physical location because they had a showroom, and it got suspended. And we had to contact Google My Business support and, you know, state our case, which was that they had a showroom, and they reinstated it, it was fine. It was fine. It was just a matter of, you know, going through proper channels, but it got reinstated. It was fine. But I just wanted to point that out. I would not publish the address for service area businesses unless it’s one of those rare exceptions. Okay. And that’s because they told you not to do that and I’ve seen it firsthand gets suspended because of it. Okay, any comments on that guys?

No, I agree in terms of service violation you can get yourself in a lot of trouble for that. Yeah.

Is It Okay To Upload Images From The Customer’s Location Or Should You Geotag Them With NAP?

So here’s another one from Troy and this is a great question. He says another one field techs plumbing. The plumbing techs taking pics out at service area jobs will upload directly to GMB and Instagram account since taken by phone and geotagged to that residence location so geotagged from where they took the photo right? So it’s got the GPS data embedded in the imprinted on impressed upon the image okay as part of the metadata. So, is this the best way or should all pics be geotagged with NAP and then uploaded to GMB now? Because now you got conflicting data, right? If you take a photo that was taken on location at a customer location for service area business, and then you wait to upload it till after you’ve geotagged it with additional NAP data, doesn’t that cause conflicting Geo Data on that one image, right? How can that image be taken in two different locations at the same time, it can be, right? So no, don’t do that. The benefit that you’re going to gain from taking photos on location and uploading using the GMB app, by the way, is that it uploads that GeoData from and it starts to paint a picture, right? It starts to prove to Google, that you’re in that service areas indeed, where you’re conducting business, right? If that makes sense. And so that’s one of the ways that we talk about local GMB Pro.

And that’s about as far as I want to talk about it, but and how to expand a map area footprint, if that makes sense. And I don’t mean footprint in a bad sense. I mean, in a good sense, and how you can expand your maps, listing exposure to areas outside of your immediate proximity, right, if that makes sense. Again, remember, over the last year, there have been two occasions that I’m aware of where Google is tightened to that proximity part of the algorithm, the proximity filter, they’ve narrowed it. It’s happened two times now in the last year, one within like the last three months or so two or three months. So the proximity issue is getting harder and harder to overcome. But that is still the way to overcome it is by uploading photos from that are taken from mobile devices in the service area. So out across the areas, and also as Marco teaches, you know, not just the metadata that is imprinted into the meta, you know, the GeoData that’s imprinted in the metadata of the images by uploading them, but also by taking images of known landmarks and things like that can be identified by Google through Google Street View, and things like that Google Earth and all of that, that will also prove that it’s within the service area. So those are two different ways that you benefit from that not by, you know, we talked about geotagging photos using stuff like geo setter or whatever, when you don’t have somebody in the field actually uploading original photos that were taken on location right?

We only use the geotagging software to tag photos, when as a second, you know, the next best option is a second option when we don’t have that first option implemented. So anyway, Marco, I know you want to comment on that.

Marco: Yeah, it defeats the purpose if you tag them from wherever the location is, but let’s say where you work is different from location, wherever the job is just a contractor goes out to a house 10 miles away, does a job takes the pictures, upload them there.

And then Google has all that information, versus going there getting the pictures giving them to you, then you retag I don’t understand why the whole purpose of this is you’re giving Google information from the place that you want to become relevant or related to your business, right? So if it’s 10 miles away, if it’s 20 miles away, whatever it is, you want to make that relevant to you and to your business and the way that you do that is by taking the picture they’re and uploading them there. If you upload them as some other place, and it’s going to change the data and that defeats the purpose of taking them at the location.

Bradley: Yeah, yeah. And it’s really cool. You can test this, guys, you can take a photo from your phone and upload it. Or you know, if you’ve got Google Photos on your phone so that it automatically backs them up to Google Photos I do. I’ve got an Android phone. So if you take a photo out, you know somewhere and then you go look at the metadata, it’ll show you the coordinates where it was taken, like, it’ll show you like a little Google map with a pin where it was taken. If you look at the little eye in the circles, so like the info, it’ll show you like the data that it sees from the image. So it’s pretty cool. It does that with videos too, by the way. So it’s, you know, it’s very, very powerful. And that’s it. That’s how you can kind of create a map for Google to understand like when I say a map like a surface area, by overtime you consistently upload images that are, you know, geotagged from where they were taken, uploaded through the GMB app, especially then that, you know, you can start to kind of train the bot to understand or recognize where your service area truly is. It’s not just claiming it stating it in GMB. But now you’re proving to the bot, that you indeed are servicing those areas because you’re uploading photos that are proof, like with the GeoData. So it’s a great question though.

What Is The Best Way To Index Links And Drive Stacks?

Okay, the next question is Hello there. Thank you for answering our questions. My question is, what is the best way to index links in general, and drive stacks? In particular, nowadays, mygb.co, our store, we have a link indexing service over there that works really, really well. It’s like 10 bucks for 2500 links or something like that. It’s ridiculous. So, you know, go buy an embed gig or excuse me an indexing gig over there and submit them that way. That’s one way to do it. How else could do it, Marco?

I don’t do it any other way. So I can’t say, go do it some other way, I get my legs linked index by dead if I’m looking. If I’m testing, I might try different things. So maybe when we do the heavy hitter club, we can show people the different ways that you can index links. But why am I going to do all that work when it’s not necessary? I could just go tell daddy, I need these links, links index, and then he’s gonna take them, he’s going to get about 60% or more index. And since he does multiple indexing runs, then then they the index over a period of time rather than all at once we had that question, I think, in the mastermind, so I want to make that clear to people that they don’t have to worry about, I don’t know 15 20,000 thousand links showing up all of a sudden, in their link profile. That’s not how it works. He does it over a period of time so that they index 60% Plus, and then you have this great link profile and index link and you can push it even more power if you build tiered link building to those index link, and again, data can take care of all that.

Nathan says just letting you know that some of the links about a plan still point to subspace links don’t work. Well. Thanks, Nathan shade that. As I mentioned the last time I think you made a comment about the battle plan that’s on the block for that’s in the to-do list where after 2xyouragency training is done, that will be updated one thing at a time, my man, so thank you though.

Let’s see what’s next. Troy says I’ll keep it going. Okay, Troy, yeah, might as well. I’m sure I said because there’s no other questions, guys. And by the way, if we run out of questions, we wrap it up early. So it’s up to you guys. You got questions, ask them if there’s only a handful of you here. Feel free. Okay. Otherwise, we’ll wrap it up early. I’m perfectly good with going back to finishing the training for 2xyouragency today. I’ve got a lot left to do.

Troy says I’ll keep going page borders are trending in the IM world. This week are they like what type of page builders HTML fast loading pages or still WordPress, the client needs redesign and I’m pondering page builder because so much quicker to build Google more receptive to HTML now since they weren’t a few years ago. So when you say pal, that’s it hang on. Let me after that because I know Google is not now more receptive to HTML before. They’ve always been very receptive to it to HTML. The thing is that WordPress is so popular that Google does get and I don’t care what they say, you know, they’ll tell you no, but they do give WordPress. It’s a little bit of a boost. Not much, but it’s just so damn popular. But HTML has always worked really well, because of how fast it is. It’s super fast and Google really likes that. I’ve worked in HTML forever, right? But 17-18 years, almost 17 years.

I’ve been doing this and it never stopped working. So let’s make that clear. Google isn’t any more accepted HTML now than it was before.

Yeah, and I really liked HTML, creating pages in HTML because it does they load super quick.

It’s not that hard to it’s just when you have to have dynamic stuff and you know, database and all that I like, I’m not an HTML nerd. I just use notepad plus as an HTML editor. And but I like using HTML pages because they’re quick loading and that kind of stuff. So anyway, uh, page builders are trending HTML, fast loading client needs a redesign.

So I don’t know really what that what the question is there. You know, it’s up to you.

WordPress still works. You know, I’m not crazy about WordPress. The only reason why I still use WordPress is that it’s it is, you know, like, I know it and it makes it easy for blogs and things like that, but I also don’t like WordPress, because of how many fucking updates there is all the time in that ridiculous. It’s just stupid. It’s just stupid and when you have so many damn sites that you manage it just you know, it’s just a pain in the ass. And even if you use something like main WP or whatever, they always end up being issues and every time there’s an update, you know, one or two sites out of the dozens and dozens that you manage end up having some sort of conflict and, you know, it’s just a pain in the balls. That’s why I try to run WordPress sites as light as possible, right? So the like, as little as few plugins as possible, and that kind of stuff because it’s just a nightmare dealing with on a regular basis. So, you know, pick and choose whatever, whatever you feel most comfortable with. You know, I still would build a new client site on WordPress just because of the ease with which I could build it. And then add content and all that kind of stuff. But I do like HTML for the various reasons that I just mentioned. Now that depends on how proficient he is with HTML, you can build a WordPress hybrid with HTML, right? And you can type HTML pages to your WordPress. That’s not a problem.

Yeah, it just depends it depends on on on how far you want to go with it. But I can tell you right now that you can rank WordPress, HTML, and literally just about anything on the web, if you work the entity guy says edit if you’re not doing entity-based SEO right now, if you’re worried about which builder you’re going to use, rather than how you’re going to set up your entity you starting off on the wrong foot. Yeah, I agree with entity-based SEO. It’s for the Semantic Web is that the bot is looking at. You’re not doing that you’re fucking it up.

Nicely said. Nathan says Troy takes the photos via the GMB app on the iPhone. Google loves those photos and you will get more eyeballs on your GMB. Yeah, it doesn’t have to be the app on the iPhone. It could be on your Android to just the GMB app period. right, that’s the point of load. By the way, you know, you can, you can give your field techs access as like a communications manager or whatever they call it a so that they can upload directly to the GMB as a contributor, which means they could not only upload photos, but they could also post GMB posts from through the GMB app directly to your GMB profile for the business. However, you can also upload photos and still get the benefit as a guest like so. In other words, a guest uploaded photos. So even if your texts that field technicians didn’t have manager access to the GMB they could still take photos and upload them with the geotag data, right metadata directly to the GMB as guest photos, user-generated photos right and it still has the same benefit. The only difference is you don’t get to add create a post from it with a call to action and squeeze keywords and such. But that the image SEO still has an effect even as a guest upload, right a user upload as opposed to a manager upload. Okay.

Troy says, Thanks, Jen. It’s always great. How’s it been a few weeks and just saw the pricing on 2xyouragency? Agree with Bradley, you’re nuts. Going to sign up before your sanity comes back? Yeah, Troy, you think I’m nuts? I think I’m nuts. Because I’m the one spending all this time doing all the videos and it’s a lot of fucking time will tell you that a lot of time and I got nine more weeks to go. So anyways,

How Do You Generate More GMB Calls For A Client With 4 Offices In Different Cities?

Next question. I just landed a big client who has four offices in different cities near each other and my main objective is to generate more calls from their GMB pages. So I figured this is where I can show the biggest and fastest results. I was thinking about doing a big SEO shield for the brand first and as local SEO shields for the specific GMB pages. Any better idea?

Well, yeah, I mean, you can do it all underneath the one branded shield. I think I’m pretty sure Marco is going to suggest that and I’m going to let Marco take over this one, I would, I would assume that you can push all of that through the primary SEO shield, which would be your drive stack and all of that. And then you can create location-based optimized folders within the stack instead of having these different stacks and all of that you can do it all under one and you actually get more power out of it that way than having different stacks, at least through my experience. Marco, this one is definitely yours.

Marco: Yeah, well, I mean, we’re thinking brand, I was supposed to be thinking brand, we should be thinking brand. If we don’t. Right now, like what I’m recommending to everyone is thinking of a catchy name because you know, women’s shoes. Chicago is not a brand. That’s a keyword. Right? New women should just, those are not brand. Think of brands think of a name that you want for your company that’s catchy and that’s going to last right? It’s going to stand the test of time. Why? Because if you hit that one, you got that unicorn. If you got that one that for whatever reason, becomes the keyword for the niche. Then not that’s an ATM, that’s a 24 hour, 365 ATM, it’s going to pour money in your pocket and your client, hopefully, it’s your idea. But that’s the way you should all be looking at the project even if you have to do local which is a brand plus location plus keyword association, you’re looking at the brand always. So even if it’s different cities, that should be one main office, right? McDonald’s they differentiate between McDonald’s Corporation and then the franchises and the franchisees and then everything else that McDonald’s does. It’s not one McDonald’s in one place and then another one in orphaned in another place or whatever. No, it’s all one big brand.

Look at how the big boys take on the internet. Look at how they set it all up, look at how they set up the franchise model or the multiple cities, multiple office model and do the do that they do. Because if you don’t, you’re going to be left behind. If you start now and you starting it off, right and you’re working, just praying, just from that aspect, then you’re going to know that everything that you do needs to relate to that brand and to everything that’s under that brand. You claim your footprint, right? You’re going to claim all your social profiles you go and everything that excuses me, everything that you set up, should be with you looking to create that brand plus keyword association. Not everyone is in the eye and I talked about this during the charity webinars, not all of you will be able to make your project the next Amazon, or the next Google or the next, whatever, but you should be working as if that’s going to happen. And the way that we can push power right now the way that we do things at Semantic Mastery. It’s a wide-open field. It’s even it’s an even playing field. So that I’ll be we saw the test cases in, in our mastermind, where Dadia went after Amazon and he’s fighting Amazon, Walmart, you name it, in the e-commerce space, and he’s carved his niche. He’s there and the client is happier than a pig and shit.

Bradley: It’s impressive. I mean, in such a short period of time, to like with ecom to take on Walmart and Amazon and be competitive with them in such a short period of time. It’s absolutely incredible. It’s impressive. So anyway, there you go. And yeah, you know, what’s interesting guys in the 2xyouragency training, the Double Your Agency training, you know, like I said, I should finish today we this training and it’s all about the first four weeks is about to extra pipeline. It’s about increasing, filling your pipeline full of leads, prospects so that you can never have to worry about revenue again for your agency. You can not only sell more clients, close more clients generate more revenue but you can also cherry-pick the best ones. Because the problem is if you only got 10 leads coming in your business, you know, you are desperate to try to close as many of those 10 as possible and it comes across in everything that you say your actions, your tone of voice. Everything it comes across as desperate because you need the revenue and you only got 10 prospects to talk to. If you had 100 prospects to talk to be completely different psychology. So anyway, I taught the reason I brought that up is that the whole first four weeks is about building your brand. Exactly what Marco was talking about, but there is an SEO benefit to it. But I’m not talking about building your brand. In SEO terms, there is a portion of that where I talk about it, but most of it is about building your brand so that you become synonymous with whatever product or service it is that you’re trying to promote.

So for example, I talked about niching down, that’s how I prefer to do it, I think it’s much easier to scale an agency that way. So like associating your primary keyword which may be Tree Service SEO or like for me, for example, or Tree Service marketing or Tree Service, lead generation, whatever it is, with the brand name, and it’s about building that brand in that association and so the whole first four weeks is about really building your own brand first. That’s super important because that’s how you start like Marco said, once you become once the association has been generated, not just within Google, but also within other within you know, prospects’ minds, customer, potential target’s minds that’s like an ATM, it’s a 24-hour machine, you know, cash machine that’s just going to constantly deliver money. That’s where you want to be for your own agency as well as for your clients, you want to be able to reproduce that duplicate that for your clients and have and help them become the branded verb. Do you know what I mean? Like, you want them to be the ones that are associated with their product or service in their local area. And the way that you do that is through what Marco calls entity SEO. It’s about building that brand. And that’s incredibly I mean, that’s absolutely true. It’s about branding, that’s you want to kill it in SEO, build the fucking brand period. That’s just the way it is now, and it’s only going to continue to go further in that direction, in my opinion. So

Marco: Yeah, it’s not just an opinion. It’s what Google is telling you. I mean, that everything that they’ve come out with, and I’m just seeing this all over with people that just they have no clue. And it’s all about into all of these people that saw drops in whatever they were doing is because their entity wasn’t right and those who benefited or didn’t see any changes, or because they’re doing things right. To me, it’s funny because the only way that we find out about updates is like when people come in on Hump Day or in our groups and tell us, you guys see that update? And we’re like, No, no, but let me go and see what it’s about. I know what it’s about, I saw what it’s about Google tells you, what is about Google tells you, I mean, almost to the letter what they want. And then John Mueller will go and tell you the opposite so that you don’t know what to do. So you gotta go sift through all of that to get the right information, because you got a lot of people that are just spreading the Google word, without understanding what it is that they’re saying without even understanding what it is that John Mueller is saying. Cuz a lot of times what John Mueller says and what he means are two totally different things. Don’t pay attention to John Mueller. If you don’t want to believe Marco that then don’t believe Marco go and test and see for yourself. Whether what I’m telling you entity basis seal, whether that’s what’s working right now, and I guarantee you that you’re going to get results. If you do the things right, set up your SEO shield, and then do the things that are in the battle plan that we recommend for your entity. And it’s just a done deal. It’s so simple, it’s ridiculous. And you can go up against anyone I’m telling you right now that you can take on anyone in the internet space and when

Bradley: I think Hernan is gonna contribute?

Hernan: Absolutely. Yeah, I was about to say on a different branding perspective, branding from the perspective of creating a brand to attract customers, not from the SEO perspective, that is something that I’ll be contributing as well with, you know, which is going to be a brand new course for or an email prospecting course for digital agency owners. So basically, how to use my case, which is my wheelhouse, which is going to be Facebook. How do you leverage Facebook and Facebook ads, not the organic stuff, not the fact that you need to post 1000 times a day and be glued to your phone and you know, look like a teenager? Not we’re not talking about that, right? We’re talking about like doing real business. We’re talking about doing real business, not influencer type stuff, but the real stuff. Because you also need to build and run your business, right? So, you know, my idea is to show you real quick how you can build a brand around yourself so that you can pipe those leads into whatever your sales process is, whether it is like talking to you, or if you have a salesperson or a call center, whatever that is. But I’m going to share with you guys how to do that in 2xa. That’s going to be available, you know, next week for sure. So it’s going to be in 2xyouragency as well. So there you go.

Marco: Yeah, no, I would just add to people that when you’re building your brand when you’re talking about your brand, it’s that’s something that you separate from your SEO brand. It’s all your brand. Your brand is how you’re going to do business, but it’s going to be your calling card on the web, and you can’t call yourself Joe Schmo from Kokomo anymore and expect to go up again when Google is benefiting brands. And so again, if you’re not working towards that brand, towards becoming the keyword for the niche, right, like you said to become the verb in your niche, then you’re not. Forget it, you’re gonna have to do so much work. So much work to make it right, that you may as well just start doing it right, as right from the beginning, work on that brand. Think of that print, work with your client on that brand when they tell you well, I want the keyword in the city. No, that’s not the way that you should do things you should think about your business and how it is that you want to present yourself to the customer to the client to people on the web. How do you want your brand to appear to the people who are looking for your products and services or whatever it is that you are selling?

Bradley: Yeah, anyway, that’s, you know, guys, this what’s great about this is. Remember, you’re hearing from multiple agency owners here too. And we all have, you know, we all understand the importance of that whole branding thing. There’s the SEO aspect of it, but it’s all one and the same now you shouldn’t separate the two. Building the brand, and SEOing the brand is one and the same. And so again, it’s good to hear an opinion from Marco and from Hernan, and for myself. We each have our own successful agencies beyond what we do here at Semantic Mastery. So it’s good to know that you know, we’re speaking from experience, right, this isn’t just theory.

Any Thoughts On The Erratic Movement Of Websites In Google Search Console?

Fitz says Good day. Good day, guys. Thanks for this forum. I noticed the three of my sites show in the Search Console are going up and down together. Why do you guess this is happening? They are in different states. Honestly. I have no idea. I mean, there’s there could be a ton of variables there that you know, questions I could have about that fits that we’re obviously not gonna be able to get to the bottom of right now. I can’t imagine what would cause something like that unless they were all three sites were hosted on the same host. And there’s some sort of hosting issue. I don’t know how what the connection there would be. It could just be a coincidence. It’s unlikely, but there’s got to be some. I don’t know. Is there any of you guys have any speculation on any of that? not really enough information there to go on. But no,

Marco: no, because we’d have to go and look at each one specifically and see how they’re related, whether they’re related to why Google created that relationship? Well, if Google created the relationship, why there’s a lot of things that we have to look at.

Bradley: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something would have to be investigated fits. Come join the mastermind and you can submit that to one of our mastermind webinars. And we’ll be happy to audit it and look into it.

How Does Responding To Reviews Help In Ranking GMB?

Muhamed, What’s up buddy says Hey guys, how does responding to reviews and GMB help things is it only good because its activity and GMB type of client was avoiding responding to negative GMB reviews and I’m prodding him to do so both for activity and reputation purposes. Okay, I think there’s, look, we already know we can rank without reviews with none, right? So reviews can be a factor, but they’re not necessary or critical, right? So in my experience, the reason why I suggest responding to reviews both positive and negative, I tell all my clients to respond to reviews positive and negative for two reasons. Number one, it’s additional activity. Number two, it shows to your users, two people that end up seeing your brand that you’re engaged with your customers, right or that the brand is engaging with their customers. And number three, because it gives you the opportunity to now inject additional keywords and location modifiers into a response because a lot of the time, I think about most reviews that customers leave, don’t have any keywords in them whatsoever or location details, right? A lot of them are just saying, hey, it was awesome, thanks, guys. I mean, it might have like, you know, hey, they called these guys to come to remove a tree and they did a really good job, we really, you know, clean up afterward, it was great, I’ll call them again, highly recommend it, but other than saying remove a tree, there’s no other indication there as to what has been done. They’re just saying that they did a great job, which is great. But what I like to do is have, you know, go in and in reply to that and say, you know, thank you for your kind words, it was a pleasure perform, you know, handling that tree removal job for you in Fairfax. You know, we encourage you to contact us and next time you have some tree care work, you know, or tree care needs or something right. So now you squeezed in multiple keywords, as well as a location modifier. So that’s why I like to do that and I have all of my clients, you know, what I’ll do is when I send out monthly reports, I have my VA always take screenshots of GMB insights and stuff like that. And one of the things that we look at is the reviews to see if any new reviews have been posted in the last month and if so have they been responded to? Because if not, then when I send the monthly reports to my clients, I mentioned that in the commentary in the email that I send my clients say, Hey, you know, I noticed that you got two new reviews this month that hadn’t been replied to, here’s the links directly to them, please go reply. And I send that to them. And again, and I’ve trained all of my clients to do exactly what I mentioned, which was to squeeze in a keyword and or location modifier or a couple of keywords if they can, and not a spammy way, but in a very conversational way. But again, it’s not necessary. I think it’s important to do it is something that will move the needle, but it’s not critical. What do you guys think? Any comments on that?

Marco: Yeah, definitely, man because people look at reviews the wrong way. People look at okay, I should have all five-star reviews and that’s all I need to pay attention to and I don’t need to do anything else. But the reviews and responding to reviews, well you’re using the voice of your brand to talk to your customers. Again we go back to the brand, man. This is your voice, right? The voice of your brand reaching out to this dissatisfied customer because they came to you with pain. They came to you with a problem and you did not solve the problem. You didn’t take care of the pain. So now there’s a problem that not only did you not take care of that, but they have a problem with you and with your brand. So this is the perfect time to go in there and say hey, look, yeah, we fucked up. You’re not going to say it in these words. But this is what I tell. This is what I tell the people when I’m in a consultation, and they asked me about reviews. Go tell the person that you fucked up and then you go tell them how can we make it right for you, help us make it right for you. So that may create a dialogue with this person. And then what that does is it makes your brand stand out from the rest. Not only did you respond, but you offered to make it right and now you’re in an open dialogue with this person who gave you a bad review, and you’re looking to make it right you know how that makes it look makes you look like you have the best customer service in the industry, it’s actually a place where you can shine. Even though the review started out being bad. Just by talking to the customer and offering, look let me make it right for you. How can we make it? How can we help you? And sometimes that there’s no fuck off, I don’t need you anymore, right? But then that makes them look shitty. Because you’re being open, you’re being honest. And you’re willing to help and you’re willing to make it right. So that puts it back on them instead of it all being on you leaving that negative review just without response. No chirp, chirp chirp. Make it makes you look really bad.

Bradley: And on rare occasions, you can turn a negative battery review, what initially was a bad review, into a positive and end up turning that customer into a brand advocate. Exactly. It’s a rare occasion that that happens. But if you bend over backward to make something, right that was a fuckup on your part or not, you know, whatever but if you bend over to make it right then sometimes you can turn that customer into, you know, an ambassador for the company because they’ll go out and you know, sing praises about your business and recommend you to friends and family and such because they had what started off as a bad experience, but turned into a good one.

Okay, and so just keep that in mind. Remember, guys, think of setbacks, as you know, Napoleon Hill. I think it was Dale Carnegie that actually said it, but Napoleon Hill was the one that published it and you know, really made it famous. The quote, which was, for every adversity, there’s a seed of equal or greater benefit, right. And so if you think about that, and it’s funny, I’m listening to an audiobook right now that I’m really enjoying, I’m only in chapter two, but it’s called Black Box Thinking. And it’s all about how you know you if you take your failures and analyze them the way the airline industries do with the black box, right? They always admit they don’t ever try to cover up mistakes or hide mistakes or try to downplay mistakes, they take all mistakes head-on, and they analyze the data and make it publicly available for everybody so that they can improve processes and improve how flights you know are handled and things like that. And so anyway, it’s just an analogy to say, hit a challenge head-on. And that’ll make you stand out and figure out a way to learn from that to improve processes so that it doesn’t happen again. It will make it a stronger business stronger, brand stronger, stronger company. And so again, just think about it that way. You know, I love that statement. I say to myself all the time when I run into a challenge, something that, you know, if I mess up, you know, I fail, you know, have some sort of failure or something. You know, for every adversity there’s a seed of equal or greater benefit. So just remember that. Just look for the way to improve upon a process when you’ve been notified of a setback or you know, an insufficiency or whatever. That makes sense. So anyway, all this is covered in 2xyouragency, guys. You should join it. And Muhamed, it says PS my situation is slowly improving, and I will take my stable place back into masterminds. And yes, you’re always welcome. And the door’s always open to you.

What Are The Potential Problems If You Have Multiple Keywords Floating Around Page 2?

Austin says, Do you have multiple if you have multiple keywords just floating around page two? What would you think about the problem maybe? Let’s say the on pages type? Again, that’s kind of a loaded question in that it could be a number of things. I could speculate on, you know, 18 different things that it could be. What I would recommend doing, if you say you’re on pages tight, let’s just assume that it is and you’ve got keywords that are floating on page two, I drive some damn relevant traffic to those pages. Because that is my go-to thing when you’ve done other on-page and you’ve done some off-page stuff and you’re still struggling to get the results that you want. I found ART – activity, relevance, trust, and authority. If you can provide engagement activity to that you will see a significant movement. Right, it will definitely move the needle. And so what I would do is buy some traffic, some relevant traffic from Google to those pages and see what happens. That’s what I would do. Any suggestions on that Marco?

Marco: No, not without knowing the what off-page he’s done. But it could be that the competition is keeping him from page one, right? It could be that he hasn’t pushed enough power to those to go from page two to page one. So I don’t know enough to give an opinion. But absolutely activity, relevance, trust, and authority is all you need. When you’re sitting there on page two ready to jumping into page one but you really haven’t made it yet. If you’re on pages is right. And your entities type then the next step is the is off-page. What’s happening off-page Yeah.

Bradley: Yeah, and you can buy some relevant traffic from YouTube. Although that’s more for views than for clicks, you can get some clicks, and it will be relevant. But you can use the Display Network for Google ads for way less expensive than search ads and drive relevant traffic to your pages. And Google knows is relevant because you set it up through your audience targeting right. So you can set up in-market audiences, custom intent audiences, whatever, layer them, so you bind audiences. It’s called layering. You know, you can do that as well. But my point is, now you’re buying traffic to pages that from a relevant audience that it’s an audience that you’re purchasing from Google, right? You’re tapping into a Google audience that Google is telling you is relevant. So you’re buying relevant traffic directly from Google. And now those are relevant signals that Google is waiting higher than just some random ass traffic if that makes sense. Because Google understands there’s already has a profile developed for those visitors, and it’s already identified them as you know, a relevant audience before they even hit your page is my point. So again, those are highly weighted traffic signals. And I don’t care what Google says about buying traffic from Google Ads doesn’t help SEO. That’s just like telling you that link wheels don’t work and press releases don’t work and guest posts don’t work and all that right. How’s that working out for you guys?

Alright, we’re about out of time. Guys, I’m sorry. There are a couple of good questions. We’re not going to be able to get to

Is Blogger A Good Substitute For WordPress For Blogging?

last one fit says is Blogger a good substitute for WordPress for blogging? Not really, because you’re so limited which you can do with Blogger. You know, the self-hosted WordPress site gives you a lot of functionality. Blogger, I mean, it can be used, but you’re limited in design. Well, I don’t know. I’ve never tried to design within Blogger. I’ve just use default themes or whatever. So I can’t answer that for sure. Except if it was a good substitute, it would probably be a lot more prevalent and I rarely ever see any blogs on Blogger that have any measurable amount of traffic. Any comments on that?

Marco: Yeah, let’s say tested and little know how it turns out because it’s I’d have to speculate since I’ve never used Blogger for anything other than links back to my content.

Alright, so Clint and decline, I don’t know if that’s your name or what anyways, you guys, sorry, I didn’t get to your questions. If you post them in the Facebook group, we can try to answer them over there. Or you can repost them until next for next week’s Hump Day Hangouts and we’ll get to them there. But either way, sorry, guys, we didn’t get to you but we are out of time. So thanks, everybody, for being here. Thank you, guys. Bye, everyone. Go get better, Hernan. Thank you. I’ll try. Alright guys, bye everybody. See ya. See ya.

  Weekly Digital Marketing Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 273 published first on your-t1-blog-url https://ift.tt/1WMpNvB February 07, 2020 at 10:09PM Semantic Mastery https://ift.tt/2YeHIxM