#which is so in-character for him- to default to lying and acting like a perfect figure

[daydreamerdrew]

All-New Captain America (2015) #4 and #2-4 and #6

[redxx95]

How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice

Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.

Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).

So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).

But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.

Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.

For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.

So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.

First one is the disaster-date in volume 4

Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.

The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.

Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.

Next is the argument they have in volume 8

Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.

The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.

The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.

And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:

He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.

So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.

I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.

So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.

There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.

So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)

So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?

... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨

So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)

Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.

(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)

Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.

Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.

Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)

So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.

Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".

He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.

So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.

(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)

Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:

He really knows him so well.

Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.

.

Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨

So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.

As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.

I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.

A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)

This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖

Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.

[the-welkynd-jewel]

Wyll is my favourite character, I could talk about him for hours! As you can tell, I have no rhetorical skill, so you'd better get ready.

I see a lot of people saying Wyll has no flaws and that that either makes him the best character or the worst. The game definitely doesn't develop him or even really give him a proper arc - but I could argue the same for Karlach, who doesn't really change except to get that little bit of closure in the end. So how come one of these flawless and arcless characters is beloved while the other is treated like dog shit?

I won't default to 'racism' as the answer because, well, I'm sure some people hate him for his personality. That's reasonable, a personality can be annoying. I won't argue with that. But I think some of those things that make him annoying are part of his flaws.

He has a very black-and-white perspective on the world. I mean he's only a kid, and he's trying to cope with an extremely complex moral decision that he made when he was seventeen. His moral code seems to boil down to (with some examples off the top of my head, having recently finished Act 1 again):

Monsters = evil 'I almost feel sorry for the orphaned goblin child. Almost.' 'How's the rat diet going?' (His approval whenever you're a ruthless harbinger of doom with monsters.) (His approval when you kill reanimated Connor.) (His disapproval when you show mercy on goblins at any point, ever.)

People who harm innocents = evil (His refusal to associate with you when you kill the tieflings.) (His approval when you punch Aradin.) (His approval when you murder Kagha for Zevlor.)

Innocents = good (His entire everything evidences that one.) (The bit of character development he does get, eventually - 'vampire spawn also good because innocent'.)

Self-sacrifice = even better than good 'I don't regret my pact at all, in fact it was my proudest deed.' 'I'm no hero, but I've dedicated my life to protecting the Sword Coast from monsters.' 'Zorru (traumatised tiefling civilian) abandoned his friends to die to these githyanki supersoldiers! What a bloody coward!' (That one's kinda wild but an interesting detail.)

And let's be real, Wyll is a bit of a showman. He loves talking about his deeds and the monsters he's killed, and he loves hyping up the Blade. He thinks highly of himself, or at least he performatively pretends to. Like a lot of people, I think 'the Blade' is a mask, in which case he's not proud of himself, but he's very proud of what he's become. My interpretation is that he has to keep telling himself he's become something perfect because he feels the alternative is that his father was right to be disappointed in him. But there are a lot of reasons he could be this way.

What's clear is that he wants the Blade to be a role model, an inspiration, a statue you'd erect in your convictions. He wants to be that person. But in doing so, he's swept his shame under the rug. It seems that nobody knows what happened to the Grand Duke's son - nobody has ever found out who the Blade of Frontiers is. (Surprising disapproval hit if you suss out that his false eye is a sending stone, too. The easiest interpretation of that is he's really hoping that 'the Blade of Frontiers is a warlock' will never be dug up. Though his powers aren't exactly... subtle? I'm assuming he usually slayed the monsters away from the eyes of his adoring fans.)

Other players who hate him think his flaws make him some sort of malevolent villain. How could he flaunt Astarion's trauma in his face with the rat comment? How could he be such a self-important peacock? How could he be such a lying hypocrite?

But Wyll's nobility is real. He is noble - he just lives in a fantasy where that's all he is. The Karlach dilemma seems to genuinely be the first time he's forced to consider the idea that maybe he's naïve, that maybe he can make the wrong choices. And I just have to assume, to throw the devs a bone, that that's why he can't make any decisions on his own in his own dang questline. He's paralysed with fear that he can suddenly do the wrong thing.

Also, yes, he's a dickhead to Astarion early on, but monsters = evil! I don't think there's more to it than that. Let's not forget this is a universe where people are prey animals. Astarion is a predator. Wyll is within his rights to think a wolf among the sheep is asking for trouble. Even though he's wary, even though he's keeping an eye on him, he doesn't try to hurt Astarion, which is more than I can say for... well, Astarion. Among other characters.

(All opinions are obviously subjective, but the hypocrisy is definitely the most 'in the eye of the beholder'. He'll approve of you letting Sazza get shot, for example, and will condemn Zorru for a coward. But he also disapproves of you handing over Redhammer to the Church of Umberlee. These situations are all very different, it's true, but where does he draw the line? Disapprove of cowardice but not kill over it? Let someone get their revenge on a monster for a murder but not on a pawn for an accident? What about the prisoners Redhammer led to their dooms? Is this character development? Who knows! The game won't tell us about Wyll Ravengard lol.

There's another issue that I think is more down to game design. He really does not approve of you trying any method to get rid of the tadpole. No devil deals. No hag haggles. I thought it was hypocritical at first - but the game doesn't actually let you express why you want to remove it so badly. It seems the assumption is that you're just desperate not to become a mindflayer. Sure, but I don't want to become a mindflayer because then I'll be a mindless brain-eating thrall, possibly in service to a Borg Queen - I mean elder brain - that wants to conquer all life on Faerûn. We can't stop the threat if we are the threat, just as Wyll couldn't stop Tiamat's followers on his own. Let me do a 'greater good' thing too kid.)

Wyll thinks he's the noblest person alive, and he loves that about himself. It's what gives his life purpose.

And he's wrong.

The straight line he drew in his binary fantasy is in three dimensions a tangled knot of hypocrisy, self-importance and security-blanket lies - in lieu of the silver spoon, a fork against his tongue. The Blade will not bend.

[simmingwormly]

The Strange Case of The Strangetown Metamorphosis

There is a mysterious Sim that appears in Strangetown.

That's like saying "there is a fish that appears in the ocean", I know, so I'll be a little more specific.

They are an adult whose memories show inconsistencies with those of their family members. Something is missing!

Alright. That's also not saying much, that's like half of the premades in vanilla, non-clean hoods.

They are immediately recognizable by their appearance and, dare I say it, have distinguishing features unique to them.

Well, that also kinda fits everyone...

They feature in more than one installment of the series.

Again, not that helpful. I mean, almost everybody from the base game hoods is (for better or worse) represented in TS3 or TS4.

They appear in TS2 for PSP!

Hmm...

They are a member of a wealthy family connected to science and paranormal.

And...

They are somehow connected to (possible) cloning.

I imagine that now you’re probably rolling your eyes and asking: Why didn’t I just simply say I was going to talk about Bella Goth?

Because... I’m not!

It’s Loki Beaker. In this mini-essay I’m going to speak about Loki, what is the mystery around him, what hints are there and what are some of the theories and which one do I fancy.

It’s basically a routine round of the popular game “connect EAxis’ oversights and glue them together into a headcanon”.

So without further ado, let me introduce you to:

The Mystery of Loki Beaker!

0: Preface: Loki who?

“As soon as he perfects his latest invention, Loki is sure to get the recognition he knows he deserves. In the meantime, he keeps himself busy by trying to assemble a nuclear reactor out of common household items.”

On the first glance, Loki as a Sim seems quite straightforward. He is a Knowledge Sim with a very eccentric personality. All his trait points are in the extremes, as you can see:

He is a scientist, a competent one at that, as proven by his high career level and the fun fact that some of the game’s horrible machinery you can buy for Aspiration points is attributed to his creation.

(It explains why are the Beakers the only ones who have the stuff lying around by default. It is normal for a Strangetown family to own a non-buyable reward object or two but those are career rewards, the Beakers are the only one who canonically own Aspiration points rewards.)

Even though he knows his stuff when it comes to his profession, he is very corrupt and tests his questionable projects on his captive, Nervous Subject.

To say that Loki is unpopular would be an understatement. No one but his wife Circe likes Loki, even his own sister is indifferent towards him. Yes, he has a sister. Her name is Erin and she also lives in Strangetown with a colorful collection of roommates.

Nothing mysterious about him so far. (apart from his eyebrows)

1: Characterization fallen apart

And then The Sims 3 happened. It was actually quite late into the game’s life cycle, the early 2013, when a beautiful nordic-themed world was released on TS3 Store. Its name was Aurora Skies and it featured Loki, Erin and their parents.

TS3 Loki is a child and Erin is a toddler.

Now I haven’t actually played Aurora Skies. I own (and love) TS3 but the price range for the Store worlds is too high for me, content-to-money wise. So there might be some hidden clues about the Beakers in their house or relationship panels that I haven’t been able to inspect but... not to sound cynical but I doubt it. I doubt such attention was given to detail of this family in Aurora Skies, as they don’t even have individual bios.

But... that is... fine? I mean, we have Loki’s TS2 bio...

Nope. Sure we do. And it would be fine if hair color and ambitions weren’t the only thing Loki and his younger self (from now on referred to as smol Loki) had in common.

Let’s take a look on smol Loki’s personality.

The first noticeable thing is that there is not a trace of Loki’s trademark villainy. He’s not Mean Spirited, he’s not Evil, he’s not even a No Sense of Humor Sim. His extreme neatness and hyperactivity are nowhere to be seen either. While it is true that TS3′s capabilities of defining personality are very limited as it picks “outstanding points” rather than a position of each trait on a scale, and it only has 5 slots (and tiny teeny 3 for children), it doesn’t make any sense still for the devs not to pick some more loki-esque traits for the precious slots they had.

Unless...

They didn’t care about Loki’s personality and there were no deeper intentions.

Unless the devs were trying to purposefully show us new angles of his character that either got suppressed while he was growing up, or manifest in ways that TS2′s scale system wasn’t able to show.

Could the Lucky trait in particular have had something to do with the change?

(Also, those traits of smol Loki are reason why I usually go for a Family Secondary Loki in TS2 and thus make Strangetown the purgatory of two unstable blonde Knowledge/Family sciency guys.)

We also must not omit that even though smol Loki didn’t display any of them, he still had all of Loki’s signature traits in him, as Loki in TS2 has his actual personality synced with the genetic one, meaning that there was something in there that caused him not to act so mean that got lost as he grew up. In other words, something brought up the worst in him.

And that’s not all. Smol Loki is not a regular TS3 child. You see, in TS3, premade children aren’t particularly known for being highly skilled experts. Neither are in TS2, for that matter, and it’s okay. It’s realistic.

Smol Loki has a skill maxed.

It is very rare for a premade regardless of age to already start with a maxed skill and I personally don’t know of any other premade children that do.

And it’s writing.

What does writing have to do with Loki? Does Loki write? Probably he has to, those academic papers aren’t gonna spawn out of thin air, but that’s not what the writing skill in TS3 (or the hidden writing skill in TS2) are about. They’re about creative writing only.

Ok, ok. How high is Loki’s Creativity skill, then? In TS2, skills are much broader, they more resemble skillsets than individual skills, and writing categorizes under Creativity. Bring out the skill panel!

Two. He has 2 points in Creativity. That is... low. That is actually very low, especially for a Sim that has supposedly been writing for fun since childhood. (and was a prodigy, while we’re at it) It is safe to say, I think, that if the player doesn’t make him do it, Loki doesn’t write anymore and he hasn’t been doing that for a long, long time.

While I would cynically admit that the dissonance in personalities might be just the lack of damns given from EAxis’ side, this seems to me too on the nose to be unintentional.

They would have no reason to bring the Beakers back without the “evil scientists” thing in mind. I mean, that’s what they’re iconic for. That’s what they’re recognizable by. (apart from their eyebrows)

So the person who was in charge of creating smol Loki probably knew they were recreating “Loki the mad scientist”.

So when they were picking the skill they use to demonstrate that this kid is gonna go far, they thought... “evil scientist = writing”...?

I would understand going for Creativity in general. I mean, Loki’s an inventor. That comes with the territory. But creativity as such isn’t really a skill in TS3. It’s divided to different activities.

Wouldn’t it make more sense just in general to pick logic, then? I mean, Loki isn’t that extremely logical by default but it is his second strongest skill and a feature unmistakably connected to being a scientist.

That’s what leads me to believe that writing plays a role in the story and it was chosen on purpose.

So how did a sweet little family-oriented boy talented with words transform into the ruthless catboy inventor we know and love?

And that, my friends, is the mystery of Loki Beaker.

2: A closer look at our environmentalist friends, the Beakers

If we want to get the full picture and come to a satisfying conclusion of some sorts, we need to inspect smol Loki’s surroundings. Maybe there is a clue to the continuous force or a traumatic event that shifted smol Loki’s direction in life?

Loki’s and Erin’s parents are named Gundrun and Bjorn. Even though their age would still allow it, they’re not present at the start of TS2′s Strangetown play, they’re long dead. Bjorn died before Erin became an adult and Gundrun died shortly before her son’s engagement to Circe. Because they died by the time Loki had (presumably) already long enrolled in his current life-path, we can safely rule out any tragic early death of parental figures scenario as a possible answer.

Gundrun is the only Beaker that canonically also writes. She has 5 points in the writing skill. She also shares some traits with Loki, namely the smarts and ambition.

But she has little to do with science and is way more business-oriented which is a trait she shares with Circe’s ancestors, for example her father. Maybe the families knew each other from business ventures even before they moved to Strangetown? It is stated in their memories that Loki and Circe first met when they were children. But I digress!

Anyway, I don’t see anything in Gundrun that would suggest any abusive behavior towards her son that might have triggered his drastic change. Possibly but not necessarily she might’ve been a bit absent but nothing out of ordinary.

And now the father, Bjorn.

Bjorn is the sciency half of the couple and works as an Aquatic Ecosystem Tweaker. Again, he has zero traits that would raise any red flags and he shares 4 out of 5 traits with either smol Loki or Loki. (I don’t know if Loki is a “natural cook” but he cooks quite well, so I think that counts.)

What’s interesting about Bjorn, though, is his speech that serves as a flavor text for the Aurora Skies store page.

(Image transcript: “Do it for science! Science is everywhere around us, but at Aurora Skies it’s not just something you learn; it’s something you do!  We need bright young minds to make the dreams of the future a reality. Even now we’re finding more uses for garbage to help the planet. Charging batteries, powering machines - the sky is the limit. Just this last year we created a modified Hot Air Baloon using garbage as fuel and turning it into pure air with a pine breeze scent.  Now you can have efficient travel and an amazing romantic adventure with no cost to the ozone (or your nose)! Every year we’re creating more and more exciting things in the world of science. Garbage-powered hearts, heart-powered cars, solar-powered cats; what will you think of next!  It’s all up to you. Do it for Science! Did you know? Hot Air Balloons are an epic form of travel based around the simple principle that hot air is lighter than cold air.  They lift in the air based on the heat system in the balloon. Increasing the temperature of the air inside the balloon makes it lighter than the air outside and the balloon begins to float.  More air is required to lift heavier things; that’s why the balloons have to be so huge! How cool (or hot!) is that?”)

From this piece of text we can see Bjorn’s passion and dedication to “green” science. Nothing in his traits suggests he fakes it, so I think it’s safe to believe that this peppy idealist is a glimpse into Loki’s father’s genuine self.

He might have encouraged his children to follow in his footsteps (”We need bright young minds to make the dreams of the future a reality.“) and smol Loki, who later in life seemed to have similar levels of enthusiasm (science is his One True Hobby), might have been receptive to that.

Now just close your eyes for a second and imagine an alternate reality in which Loki picked up where Bjorn left and instead of a energy-refilling machine that electrocutes you if you’re not happy enough, he invented “solar-powered cats”.

Still no hints on what could’ve messed Loki up, though.

Let’s take a look at the parents in TS2. Even though they’re not present and aren’t even resurrectable, they’re still coded in the game for purposes of genetics, memories and family trees, so some of their characteristics are salvageable.

And by the Watcher, they were both Romance Sims.

They were workaholic Romance Sims who cared about the environment and liked recycling (and Hot Baloons).

And they were both extremely Nice and very Sloppy, if their personalities on wiki are something to go by. Which they unfortunately aren’t, at least not completely because most ancestors don’t simply have “their own” personalities and use presets instead, so they tend to be quite similar.

The same goes for most of the Beaker clan, unfortunately. Fun fact is that there is no Knowledge Sim in sight (before Loki, of course). Maybe they weren’t a scientist family, but a bunch of Romance Sims who used to spend their free time in between woohoos saving the planet with eco-science. (3 out of 6 of Loki’s and Erin’s ancestors were Romance Sims, 2 were Fortune and 1 was Family)

But! There is one outlier. Her name is Gertrude Beaker. She is Loki’s paternal grandmother.

And similarly to her grandson, she certainly has a personality to remember.

She doesn’t use a preset, this is a personality that someone went and manually assigned (...or generated) for her. And she is Neat, Outgoing and doesn’t have a nice bone in her body. But unlike Loki, she has a sense of humor (which makes her even more dangerous, in my opinion) and is extremely Lazy.

She is a Fortune Sim and the only Beaker who shares the darker sides of Loki’s personality. (to be clear, I don’t mean their taste for cleaning but the round 0 of Nice points)

Because she doesn’t feature in TS3 at all, it is safe to say that she wasn’t in her grandchildren’s lives until the family moved to Strangetown. Could she be the corrupting influence on smol Loki?

As far as personality comparison goes, she seems to be the only possible culprit, the only one who’s personality shares the same unpleasant qualities he became infamous for. But! That’s not saying much. There is no evidence she actually did anything.

There’s not even any evidence that she ever met her grandson, given he has no memory of her dying which means she might have died before he was even born. That would be a solid evidence on the contrary and would rule her out. But I’m leaving some maneuvering space for theories here because she is the only Beaker ancestor with custom personality, after all, and that is suspicious.

That’s all the Beakers we know of if not counting Atom and Ceres, who came after Loki, so they’re not relevant to the question of his childhood. Or... are they?

3: And that’s when the trouble began

Another part of this question that might help us discern what happened to Loki is the when. All we know so far is that there is a big void of unknown between smol Loki and regular Loki and the point of transformation happened in there somewhere.

Thankfully, we have something to give us an idea. It’s this snapshot in storytelling pictures for the Beakers:

It shows smol Loki destroying a dollhouse. It seems to be in an impersonal environment of some sorts. The cheapest bed in the game is against a bare white wall, the window is hid behind blue curtains and there doesn’t really seem to be anything else but the dollhouse, a teddy bear in the background and that... very unpleasant bed.

It clearly tells us that Loki’s shift started in his pre-teen years.

And seeing that room which is definitely not in the Beaker Castle at 1 Tesla Court, it makes me think of a hotel or a cheap apartment the family was staying in while moving from Aurora Skies to Strangetown. Maybe the castle-like something the household inhabits at the start of the game wasn’t a property of the Beakers at all, maybe that was where the Salamises used to live and now it belongs to Circe?

Anyway, could it had been leaving Aurora Skies that sent smol Loki down an existential crisis and settling in the not exactly welcoming environment of Strangetown, enrolling in a local school, that sealed it?

But why all the stuff with writing? This would work with any other hobby but somehow it had to be writing and it’s our task to find out why.

4: Not your average tragedy

Now in our search we already have some ideas but it wouldn’t be thorough if we didn’t take into account smol Loki’s actual personality. I mean, we went into what traits he doesn’t have but what about those he has?

Namely Lucky and Family-Oriented.

I think Lucky is a very interesting choice. There’s nothing inherent about Loki Beaker that would make you go “that’s one lucky guy!” (if you don’t count his relationship with Circe as a stroke of luck, that is) and the same goes for smol Loki.

But... it could be a clue. His metamorphosis either couldn’t be triggered by trauma because he’s lucky and it would avoid him, or it must’ve been something tremendously horrid so he’s lucky he’s still alive.

Now we know we are searching for something that happened in his late childhood, verging on the start of his teenage years. His family was going through the turmoil of moving to a desert and he has already known his future partner Circe. Meanwhile Erin-

Oh, wait. Erin.

Smol Loki was Family-Oriented which implies he would probably have a good relationship with his little sister, as he would’ve naturally inclined to protect her and help his parents take care of her. But!

Not only do they have an amicable but distant relationship as adults but Erin seems to forget that Loki even existed in her childhood.

He has the usual set of memories of a sibling growing up well but she doesn’t, she has no Loki-related memories at all, not even of his marriage, which was a quite recent event.

Could the reason for Loki’s “downfall” be somehow related to his sister? Was there a dramatic event in which she lost a part of her memory?

5: Theories!

Ok, we’re finally here! Now I try to present some theories about what might’ve happened.

1. Burdens of the golden child

In Aurora Skies, Loki used to be the little wonder every relative was gushing about. With his father as an acclaimed scientist and a very liked person in general, there was little to no adversity his son had to face. He followed his passion and having nobody to really compare himself to, nor anybody who would terrorize him, he prospered.

But then the Beakers moved. Strangetown was... different. It was way smaller than Aurora Skies, so everybody inherently knew everybody and everybody had to interact with everybody... because the small space of a desert community didn’t leave them with any choice. And it was bleak and unfriendly. No one except for the Salamises knew the Beakers, so they found themselves under scrutiny from their new neighbors.

So Loki, who used to live thinking he was unique, was now sitting everyday in a much smaller classroom with Pascal and Vidcund Curious, whom he was immediately being compared to. But he wasn’t like the Curiouses. He was a kid of a scientist but wasn’t a science kid. He didn’t have much in common with Pascal who approached him and tried to befriend him at first but he wanted to. In Strangetown, nothing seemed to be cooler than being really, really into science. Pascal’s and Loki’s communication attempts were rather poor, though, and in the end, they never made friends. Loki slowly began to disdain the oldest Curious boy and it culminated a few years later in high school when Pascal made an attempt to woo Circe. It was even worse with Vidcund. Ever since Loki’s first day at the new school, Vidcund had been eyeing him with a disgusted look and Loki became quick to reciprocate.

In Strangetown, nothing seemed to be cooler than being really, really into science. Even Circe was on it! She was the only person his age he has know in Strangetown before his family moved in and he liked her. Not “like” liked her, yuck! But he thought she was cool. Her family used to visit the Beakers in Aurora Skies and they played together. She was a friend! Or so Loki thought. She seemed to like hanging out with the Curiouses much more.

In Strangetown, nothing seemed to be cooler than being really, really into science, yes. But not in the eyes of Buzz Grunt, the son of a general who lived in Strangetown. Their family were the self-proclaimed protectors of the hood but at the same time they weren’t shy to show a strong distaste for all that made Strangetown an important desert settlement in the first place. And little Buzz, although Loki doubted he understood the nuances, was very fond of asserting his dominance over his less sporty and hyper-masculine classmates.

Suddenly jealous of the Curious brothers, under pressure from both the adults and his peers comparing him to them and bullied by Buzz, Loki’s social life fell apart. He started having problems... and he came up with solutions. He has always liked science but from back then on he hyperfixated on it to prove everybody who picked on him for being a worthless parody of a science kid wrong.

Not only his social life and self-confidence were busted, though. Moving away from Aurora Skies to Strangetown that had much higher prices for housing because of the limited space, the living standards for the Beakers lowered. It was chaotic and uncomfortable. Plus, almost everybody in Strangetown was loaded. Why, Circe and her parents lived in a small castle! Loki felt like they’re the only “poor” family around and it played into his new-found insecurities.

And then there was Erin’s accident. She suffered a severe head injury and even though she fortunately survived, she was never... the same. She had issues with her memory. Loki tried to convince himself that he’s big enough not to cry but when they were visiting Erin in the hospital and she didn’t recognize him, he cried. It was his little sister! And... it was all his fault anyway! If he was quicker and pushed her to safety, she would’ve been fine! Or even better, he wished the car would’ve hit him instead.

Loki was becoming more and more snappy, focused on his grades and projects, unavailable. The siblings never mended their relationship, Erin, even though she recovered, never got to make new memories with her brother. Not remembering them growing up together, he was like a stranger to her. A scary mean teenage boy she didn’t know and, even though she was a very friendly child, she was too intimidated to willingly spend time with him. And Loki was always busy and moreover, he felt guilty and inexplicably angry, so he postponed approaching her, until it was too late, he was in college, she was in high school and it was too awkward.

And... there was no time to write anymore.

2. Gertrude the Neat and Mean (and Lazy)

Ok, Loki doesn’t have any memories of his grandma. But hear me out! Erin does not have any of him either and yet they met. This theory doesn't require any additional write up – he simply got under the influence of his 0 Nice points granny and she cultivated him to be just like her.

My personal take: This is maybe my least favorite theory of them all, even though it is quite straightforward. It doesn't take much into consideration and demonizes Gertrude, who as far as we know, might not done anything wrong.

3. The accident

This theory takes advantage of TS3's canon sciency machinery, namely Cerebralizing Brain Enhancing Machine 2.0.

It can, among other things, change a Sim's personality. There is (quite unfortunately, in my opinion) no chance of consequential failure in the actual game, the most it can do is to (non-fatally) electrocute your Sim. But...

Imagine smol Loki sneaking into his dad's laboratory, most probably at his workplace.

He was curious. Ever since his father showed him all the equipment in there, all he could think of was the machine that made people smarter.

Maybe it could make him smarter?

I mean, Loki knew he was already quite smart. At least, he's been told he was and he had no reason not to believe it.

But he could be even smarter.

He could be like his dad. Or his mom. Or Erin. Everyone was talking about how clever young Erin seemed. Loki was proud of her but part of him just wanted that, too.

So what if... he went to dad's laboratory, just for a little while, and made himself smarter?

He made all the necessary preparations. It meant to memorize dad’s schedule, so he knew just the time when he could sneak into the laboratory. It also meant to get a good costume so he won’t be recognizable on the security footage!

And then finally, he was ready. To infiltrate the laboratory was easy enough but it only made Loki more nervous. He was on the edge but determined. He wanted to make it big in the world. He needed to seize the opportunity. And fear... fear was there to be ignored! Hands, stop trembling!

His confidence grew a bit once he got to the machine itself. He knew how to run it thanks to his dad and it made him feel competent and ready.

Little did he know that there was a huge oversight. Although Loki could operate the technology on a very basic level, his knowledge went nowhere near deep enough for him to detect that the machine has yet another set of settings and those currently expect an adult user. It wasn’t configured for a child patient.

But unaware of that, the boy in his patchy dinosaur costume climbed on top of the machine and with his eyes wide open and his heart racing he connected the Brain Enhancer to his system. Then, with his hand sweating, he pushed a button on a remote he was clutching to.

When Bjorn, alerted by Loki’s screams, rushed into the laboratory, it was way too late.

As his terrified father was calling the ambulance, the child was alive and even still awake. He was too weak to cry. He just watched Bjorn, wishing for death and looking for signs of wrath in father’s eyes.

There were none. Only fear.

Physically, Loki Beaker managed to recover just fine. With the power of advanced medicine and plastic surgery, the burns he suffered were reduced to nothing but almost invisible scars.

But inside, he was never the same. Literally. Even though the procedure backfired horribly, it still worked to some extend - but even that extend was warped. Loki succeeded in giving himself the Genius trait but several of his traits were replaced also, including the Lucky trait that probably saved his life.

6: Conclusion!

I like Loki very much. (no sh*t, who would’ve guessed) He’s a very controversial and over-the-top character who tends to be rather unpredictable in the actual gameplay. I started writing this giant thing to find an answer to his backstory that would satisfy me and hopefully also some of you.

With a heavy heart I conclude I’m not successful.

First I have to admit I originally planned to present 5 theories instead of 3 but I scrapped 2 of them.

First was about Atom time traveling and replacing Loki, creating himself again and again in a time loop (would explain the huge personality difference between smol Loki and Loki-Atom) and it was very far-fetched but fun, alas I realized it was out of character for Atom, since he seems to love his sister and his Plumbot so much he would hardly leave them behind to pull that off.

The second was about Nervous and the corrupting power of Death he has inside that would slowly drive Loki and Circe “evil” even though it’s unclear whether they first adopted him with being a lab-rat in mind. But it would not make sense since a change like that would be visible on their personality panels. That’s not that important, though. What made me not include this theory is that it feels uncomfortably victim blame-y. It’s not directly since it wouldn’t be Nervous’ fault anyway but any attempt to shift the blame from Loki and Circe in this situation feels uncomfortable.

(To be clear, I don’t think the Beakers deserve demonization. In my opinion, the best way to treat them narrative-wise is like eccentric people capable of feeling love and doing good things sometimes, yet irredeemably self-centered, morally bankrupt and deserving a lifetime in jail for child abuse they have done on Nervous. Not one-dimensional but still villains and still objectively bad people.)

And those 3 theories above? They could’ve been better.

I think I like the first the most, even though I still feel like something is missing. I just tend to like relatively grounded explanations and this one doesn’t feature the supernatural nor any deus ex machina gadget.

What about you? And do you have any other theories? Sky’s the limit! It’ll make my day to hear them!

Whatever your takes are, they’re all valid.

[rmdrunkenrat]

The current placing of the Twitter romance poll doesn’t particularly surprise me, but the sheer canyon between the two female romance options vs the two male options does, and I think the main thing we should take away from it is that the Kerry and River need to be given the same care and development as Panam and Judy

(Read more break because of this turning into an ESSAY JESUS WEPT)

River and Judy is one thing -  according to GOG, they have a similar completion rate, Judy at 31% and River at 29%, which makes the poll a better sample study. Judy gets a bit of development through Act 1 and 2 even before her personal quests and F!V can make a move. We get to see her defrost toward V and actually flirt with her a bit and make a connection before the romance starts officially.

River mentions grabbing a beer after the gig. A really heavy gig. That’s it. He also says the same to M!V, which implies it’s not even a flirtation. He’s given a noble goal of saving Randy, but he’s written as lying to V to get them on board, and threatening Yawen to get his way, than offers a morally dubious quest resolution at the end. It calls his character into question, rather than affirming it, like Judy’s quests. The only genuine romance material during Peter Pan is Johnny crudely alluding to an attraction, but places it on V without an option to say ’no’, which removes agency from V’s that aren’t attracted to him.

And that’s not even addressing the Following the River mission, which made a not insignificant amount of people very uncomfortable with how it was executed as a romance path. River is the character I would say that would benefit most from a rework, as his personality is a nice chill guy, but his romance track is hurried and forced, and the only time V is given an opt out is at the end.

Personally I’d add a few text conversations between the Peralez mission and Peter Pan to establish his positive character more, and lay the ground work for an attraction, and make it clear how he behaves in Peter Pan is an extreme, rather than his default. Also Peter Pan is one of the most emotionally draining gigs in game, and flirting would be wildly out of place - he needs either more texts after the fact OR another gig with a lighter tone as a follow up to actually flirt with V - this would also be the place that I put the option to turn down River, so his romance had a more natural cut off point. The moment of Joss and her kids pressuring V into a relationship just needs to be cut outright, and give V the option to say her exes were women at the watertower.

Which leads to, Kerry and Panam.

Panam’s completion rate, unsurprisingly, is 42%. She’s also the only romance option that actively pursues V throughout her questline, rather than at the end. She’s plopped into the players metaphorical lap from the get go, she can say something flirty to both F!V and M!V, and she’s the only option that can pull off a ninjamance if M!V doesn’t turn her down every time. She is, gameplay wise, the easiest option to romance - as long as the player doesn’t outright betray her or choose the most stand offish dialogue option evech time, M!V will be in a romance with her.

Kerry, on the other hand, needs the player to have a decent friendship with Johnny, not fuck up the oil fields conversation, AND put off meeting Hanako long enough to even get his phone call. This is when the game, thematically at least, is telling the player to get a move on, and it shows - only 10% of players have ever finished his questline.

Simply? He needs to be earlier in the game, without the amount of hoops to jump through, to be equal with the other three characters. Johnny mentions he saw the article on Kerry during his night out. When V wakes up from Johnny’s bender in Act 2 is when Johnny should ask to go to North Oak. It would also serve as a better jumping off point for Johnny’s redemption arc as well, so when the oil field conversation does happen, his introspection can come from seeing Kerry and his bandmates have moved on from him and Samurai.

In a perfect world I’d also give V the opportunity to flirt back with Kerry in his missions. Kerry is relatively flirty towards M!V, but V doesn’t really have the opportunity to react until he’s on the balcony with Kerry, which can make the kiss feel somewhat unannounced when V has the option to do so. Alternatively, texts could come to the rescue here again and pepper them in between gigs, and give V the opportunity to be flirty in the replies.

Going forward, I hope River and Kerry are involved in the main plots for DLC, and Panam and Judy take a more background role to even it up a little. I know that fans of those characters wouldn’t agree with that in the slightest, but honestly, River and Kerry are good characters, and they deserve to have as much screen time as Judy and Panam. It might encourage players who might have chosen to skip their content to go back/start playing it, and frankly, I think that would be a win for everyone.

[itsclydebitches]

So, I'm not sure if I'm the best to articulate this thought, but...I feel like RWBY has been trying to do a Fullmetal Alchemist with the Huntsman organizations and really failing it. Like FMA, it has an organization that holds a lot of importance in the safety of the civilians. Like FMA, that organization is flawed in some ways and possibly absolutely corrupt in others. Like FMA, the main characters join this organization for personal reasons, before realizing the depth of the corruption (part 1

Oh yeah, Arakawa has a far better, more nuanced grasp of these topics than RT does, which includes the concept of flawed institutions, rather than just flawed individuals. Ruby isn’t realizing that certain structures and acts are a problem--lying, secret keeping, military force, etc.--the show just keeps doubling down on the idea that these problems only exist provided she’s not at the helm. It’s exactly as you say: Ruby and her friends aren’t corrupt, ergo nothing they could do is bad. It’s this idea that the heart of the person changes the action, rather than the action changing the person. Ruby magically turns any act into a heroic act, rather than acknowledging that the act may be changing her. And that individualism extends to Ironwood. The soldiers aren’t the problem. The laws aren’t the problems. Huntsmen like Flynt and Neon aren’t the problem. The only problem is that evil Ironwood is in charge, so once you kill him off everything is fine. No institutional problems here. Yet the concept that Ruby could become corrupt in the same way Ironwood became corrupted isn’t even an idea on RWBY’s radar because it’s all about individualism. Ruby is the hero and destined to remain that way, no matter what she might actually do. 

That individualism is also seen in those “personal reasons” that led both protagonists to their respective organizations. Ed and Al learn right at the start that the tool they’re using was always corruptible, but they still try to manipulate it to get what they want. It’s only the act of giving up alchemy entirely that gets Ed what he’s always been after, Al’s body, something that was only lost because of these ideas that they could take on the world with that power--literally reverse death. “That’s it! That’s the answer!” he hears when he announces that his friends and family are more important than this power. RWBY quite obviously hasn’t ended yet, but I can’t picture Ruby laying down her scythe with the knowledge that in order to find peace she must distance herself from that corruptible system and that’s partly because Ruby has no identity outside of that system. Her uncle is a huntsmen, so is her father, so was her mother--with Ruby copying her as much as possible--so is her sister, so are all her friends, Ruby is introduced to the viewer declaring that the only thing she wants in life is to be a huntress, gushing over how cool Glynda is. That’s her whole person, being a huntress. Ed? He wanted his mother. He wanted his brother. Giving up alchemy is easy in the end because alchemy was never what he really wanted in life, but being a huntress is what Ruby has always been after and the show has yet to do anything to teach her that her larger goal of helping people can be achieved through other means. And why would it? Because Ruby, as a huntress, is always the hero. According to the story, the problem is not society’s choice to give teenagers lethal weaponry and send them out into the world without any checks and balances, nor is the problem making use of military might to replace those individual fighters... the problem is only when someone other than Ruby tries to make use of those resources. Dumping people out of a plane, threatening a sibling with your sword, taking a headshot at an official, turning your weapons on your uncle... none of the little moments where we go “holy shit??” matter because RWBY functions under the belief that if the group is leveraging their power to steal, threaten, lie, or hurt it’s automatically for some excellent, world saving reason. They’re not corruptible. Never mind the number of people around them who have gone down that road (Raven, Adam, Lionheart, Ironwood, etc.) it’s simply not possible for them to repeat those mistakes. It’s a very Chosen One story and not in the way YA tends to deconstruct the trope. For RWBY it’s a very serious “Ruby is 100% pure and can do no wrong. If it looks like she’s doing wrong, she’s not. If it looks like she’s part of a corrupt system, she’s not. Ruby’s inherent heroism makes any possible action she takes heroic by default”... and that’s a bunch of nonsense that Arakawa understood. 

When critical fans are feeling salty they sometimes make exaggerated claims like, “Ruby could blow up the world and the show would paint it as this wonderful heroic choice” and yeah, that stuff is an exaggeration... but it’s coming from a legit place of frustration with how Ruby is framed. For all Ruby’s surface claims that she’s not perfect, the story believes she’s above fault. That’s why every character instantly reassures her (Blake) or takes back their grievances the moment Ruby might act on their advice (Yang, May). No one in the show forces Ruby to admit to her mistakes and grow from them because the concept of Ruby being a flawed protagonist--particularly to the extent she’s at now--is simply not on the table. 

[captainsleepy111]

I have created the general outline of a character for a Harry Potter fanfic and this is the character if you want more say something

May add on to this when I think of things but Idk seems okish to me so far

Also this was written at 3am and I can’t spell to save my life so pls be nice with feedback

also tw slight abuse mentions/hinted at (very briefly) and minor swearing (idk how to do tws so tell me if I’m doing it right and if there’s anything I should add) It’s also pretty long which I find annoying sometimes

- [ ] General description- Sirius black’s son, born female and originally named astelle but eventually chose the name Caelum, when Sirius was put in Azkaban he was sent to live with the malfoys

- [ ] Looks- Short black hair, but on the longer side of short, grey eyes with flecks of green and blue if you look close enough, smallish but not tiny, nose ring after 3rd year, tattoo of a dragon (Hungarian horntail) after 4th year, 5’4 (and 1/2), hair is always messy (it’s a habit) , strong but not that strong, built like a runner (hates running), small scar on his lip (refuses to say how he actually got it), has almost microscopic freckles on his nose, is actually somewhat tan (kind of a slightly darker tan color)

- [ ] Personality- stubborn, likes to act tough but has just built that facade to protect himself over the years, is actually really caring and sweet (but will hit you if you point that out) would rather die than hurt someone innocent, smart but acts like an idiot, prankster, sarcastic is his default setting, full of spite, has personal grievances against bushes, plays with his hair to calm down/when bored/stressed/thinking/flirting, is absolutely incredible at flirting (until he has a crush, then he loses all form of coherency and intelligence), makes horrible puns at every chance, will fight absolutely anyone who insults his friends (or dogs, or any animal really), absolute certified disaster, cannot keep things organized for the life of him (ex. Room, school things, school trunk, schedule, homework, anything), will find any and all candy (nothing can stop him, he will find your candy stash), his idea of a distraction is flirting with the enemy and hoping he doesn’t die, alternatively he will also tackle/insult/confuse/be generally annoying to distract enemies, he has perfected these strategies, is now very good at dodging things because of these strategies, seems very clumsy, actually has incredible reflexes (due to aforementioned strategies), is slow to trust (but once he does he is ride or die), is pretty good at lying, aloof when you first meet him, resting bitch face, has no sleep schedule, is always hungry, horrible with emotional things, tries to help but fails (A for effort though), high places are his happy place, and by the black lake at midnight, will stay up with you for hours if you need too, midnight is his favorite time of day

- [ ] Relationship with Sirius- pretty good, they get along well, is pretty much a carbon copy of Sirius, a little rocky at first but built a good relationship

- [ ] Relationship with the malfoys- horrible, actually used to be friends with draco until they were ten, then draco sided with his father on everything, Lucius uses him as a magical punching bag, narcissa ignores him mostly but occasionally point out how much of a disappointment he is, after the battle of hogwarts draco and Caelum made up and rebuilt their relationship (veery slowly)

- [ ] School life- got put in ravenclaw, first met Harry getting robes with draco, befriend Harry and Ron on the train (gained Ron’s respect after telling draco to kiss his arse), befriended hermione when he asked what she was reading and clicked when they talked about books for atleast half an hour, befriended the twins in a shared detention after he charmed a shampoo bottle to follow snape around but stay just barely out of reach and shoot the shampoo at him every 4th time he turned his back, his favorite subject is charms (would be potions but snape is the teacher), least favorite subject is a tie between history of magic and divination, took muggle studies in third year but dropped it in favor of astronomy, is the keeper for ravenclaw (started his second year),became the quidditch captain 5th year, is generally top of the class (after Hermione), horrible about getting homework done, broke the twins record to most detentions on one year (in his first year), teams up with the twins for pranks all the time, also absolutely destroys them in prank wars (even when they team up on him), his best subject is potions despite snape trying to prevent that, punched quirrl in the face first year, flirted with Voldemort then punched him in the face and tackled him in second year, was prepared to try to fight a werewolf instead of running in third year (was stopped by hermione and Harry forcing him to keep running) , was dragon bait to help Harry get the golden egg fourth year (caused several rules to be added to the triwizard tournament)

- [ ] Sexuality- pansexual/ demiromantic

- [ ] Gender- trans ftm, mainly uses he/him pronouns but also uses it/it’s pronouns

- [ ] Romantic relationships- none, but has had a crush on Neville (huggable and cute when he get things- learned this when he tutored him a bit in third year) Fred briefly (prank buddy), fleur (went to the Yule ball with her, because he asked her to see if she would say yes but acted like an idiot and she found it endearing, so less crush and more friends but still a little bit of a crush)

- [ ] Familial relationships- Sirius (his dad, duh), the malfoys (cousins unfortunately, draco somewhat tolerable after battle of hogwarts), Harry (godbrother and brother in all but blood), Ron (brother in all but blood), hermione (sister he never had), Remus (cool uncle/step father),draco (cousin but get along with him relatively well, after battle of hogwarts)

- [ ] Nicknames- padfoot jr (James, remus, Peter) padslet (remus, James), cub ( Sirius, remus), little shit (Sirius at 3 am after being woken up), pup (Sirius, remus), mon chéri (Sirius), crescent moon (remus)

- [ ] Enemies- draco until BoH, death eaters, Voldemort, bushes, beletrix

[mayiotome]

XOXO Droplets [Free to Play/ ext. ver:$19.99]

My Rating: 💗💗💗💗 ▪️

itch.io game page

Producer: GBPatch 

Release Date: Aug 31, 2017  (Updated: Mar 20, 2020)

Languages: English

Genre(s): Stat Management, Romance, Slice of Life,  

Download size: 279 MB (W/L) 261 MB (M)

Content Warnings: Swearing but it’s censored anyways.

Advertised length: not listed in hours but the completed game is 320,00 words while the free version is 130,00+

My Play Length: a few (3-4) hours to complete all routes (using cheats after the first one and skipping all seen lines). 

Steam Key: YES

Achievements: YES

Demo Available: Technically there’s a free version that’s about half the game.

(There is also a horror version of this game I’ll be reviewing in the future.)

Description/Features from game page:

“The story begins when our nameable protagonist finally transfers into the boarding school of her dreams at the start of her junior year in high school. It would be perfect if it wasn't for that little catch attached to her enrollment: her parents will only let her keep attending the school for her remaining two years if she doesn't make everyone  there hate her by shunning them, like she always does.

Do your best to show just enough interest in the other losers around to appease the folks while still having time to chase after all the attractive guys in the MC's afterschool group, which just so happens to be a group for chronically unfriendable people.

★★★★★★★

No, seriously folks. When we say the protagonist and main love interests are a big ol' jerk squad it's not a mistake and it's not an understatement.”

Default Game

3 distinct jerky main boyfriend options: Everett Gray, Nate Lawson, and Shiloh Fields

6 side characters who'll be your buddies and 6 minor clique boyfriend options, each with a bonus effect that makes the game easier

Partial Voice acting for every significant character by a talented cast

The option to break up with your bf and start dating someone else, if you feel like it

A variety of methods to manage your Reputation with the unimportant students

Part-time jobs, stores to visit, useful items, optional mini-games, an in-game phone to call a guy up and arrange a date at one of several different locations

Over 130,00 words. Hundreds of different events, including a collage-style ending system where you get events for every goal you achieved during the game

Cheat codes for those who don't give a f*ck about gameplay and just wanna see the events

Paid Extended Addition

3 more main jerk boyfriend options: Bae Pyoun, Jeremy King, and Pran Taylor

2 sweet but not-terribly-bright side boyfriend options: Kam Sung and Adrian Wulu

Yet 1 more boyfriend option in the flirtations party boy Lucas Kaiser (New Addition!)

4 Extra Date Events for Everett, Nate, and Shiloh

The ability to unlock all 4 CGs and 12 outfits for Everett, Nate, and Shiloh, rather than just 3 and 10

The ability to unlock all 4 CGs and 12 outfits for Everett, Nate, and Shiloh, rather than just 3 and 10

50 more Random Events, 45 more Text Chats, 24 more Part-Time Work Events

320,000 words in total

An accessory system that lets you decorate the main character with a variety of pieces, plus small events where characters comment on the accessories you wear

The option to change the background of your cellphone to one of 12 different options

Even better cheat codes

My Review:

This game is half stat manager, you have to “work” to get money, choose where you sit at lunch to raise your popularity with different cliques, etc. 

The story isn’t all that long if you use cheats but if you do use cheats you can’t get certain achievements.

The free version only lets you date 3 out of the main 6 guys (The paid extra version gives you those 3 + 3 others that are more side characters but they have their own scenes too, though not many).

It’s not too long or that story rich compared to other games I’ve played. The gameplay isn’t too hard or difficult to figure out.

You can pick the first and last name of the protag but not her looks.

Story/Writing

The story isn’t that long or complex, you have an ultimate end date. Extra scenes take place at the jobs you do every few times you do them. Each job is connected to a character (and school clique) with a few scenes. There are 1-3 date scenes per date location per guy. On certain (calendar) dates certain events happen, depending on who you’re dating certain dialogue will change but it’s not too big of a change (maybe like 3-5 extra or changed lines). 

Most of the game is just slight dialogue changes depending on who you want to romance/who you’re dating and a few original scenes per character.

Characters

So yeah, they’re not lying when they say that the characters are jerks. Kinda loveable jerks after a while but yeah, none of the guys actually want to date the protag but she kinda just says “Hey we’re dating now” or “Hey we’re going on a date tomorrow” and they just go with it albeit reluctantly but she grows on them for the most part.

There are 3 side characters you can date too, for achievements and I think 6 others for smaller perks for the game but no actual game-play involving them and it takes a long time to be able to actually date them as you need to meet certain requirements.

The 3 side characters are only with the paid version but they don’t go to the school the protag goes to so there’s less scenes of them really.

Visuals

The style of the stat raising menu/Weekend Planner is cute, the CGs are drawn in a cute drawing style and the rest are classic looking backgrounds that match the character styles.

The protag has a little portrait in the bottom corner where her facial expression change. With the paid version you can buy her accessories and they show up on her in game (some also trigger random events for each guy, 2 per guy as there are 2 versions for each of those items).

Sound

It is semi-voiced meaning there’s sigh sounds, growls of annoyance, a few lines here and there are voiced, they each have a set of “catchphrases” like the protag will go “Boo” when she is unhappy or a little laugh sound, Nate saying “this is absurd” when he’s annoyed or “You can’t be serious!” Sometimes they say the first or first few words of a sentence.

Stat Raising (Gameplay)

It’s not too hard to keep the stats (clique popularity) even/balanced so you don’t fail the game. It’s easy to earn money via the jobs, if you have a set guy you want then keep doing the job associated with him (where he also works) to raise his stat with you, get scenes at that location and earn more money the more you progress that job. (There’s no mini game for the jobs just occasional scenes.)

Using cheats the stat gameplay goes by fairly quickly and with no possibility of failing. You can get through each route quicker this way but there’s no way to skip the actual weekend planner part (which is good because you can go on dates or the store still.)

My strategy is to use a cheat to raise clique levels to the max, to get money, and buy a bunch of taffy (which skips the weekday choice pages and lets you quickly get to new story events.) that way I can just skip over the mostly tedious parts of the gameplay.

Worth the Price?: In my opinion, yes. You get a lot more content, unlock the other 3 guys, outfits, cheats more, date options, etc. (See above) and clearly time and effort went into this game. There’s no bugs, the VA is decent however limited. I’m sure some people might thing it’s a bit expensive but you have to remember you’re supporting a creator and not some big game cooperation.

Conclusion aka TL;DR

It’s not your traditional guys quickly fall for the protag story as none of the guys actually want to date her when they start dating. All the characters are jerks (So much so that they’re all in a club cause no one else wants them in theirs) but they do grow on you after a while. There’s no way to really skip the stat raising part of the game but it’s also not that hard to keep everything balanced and there’s always cheat codes.

I ended up getting the extra version (meaning paying for the rest of the game) because I wanted to romance Jeremy and Pran (Green and white haired ones).

My Rating:

Story: 7/10 (would score higher if the routes were more different.)

Characters: 9/10 (They’re jerks but they’re meant to be. This isn’t really a game where the characters will compliment yours and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside but they’re well done.

Visuals: 10/10

Sound: 10/10

Gameplay: 9/10 (sometimes you just wanna skip all the stat stuff and just read the story. there are cheats in that case but you still need to actually click through the weekend stuff and keep skipping days until you get to the next event day). You can’t simply roll back on the mouse wheel to change a choice or rehear a line, it’ll bring up the log page where you can click any line that has sound to hear it or read what was said.)

Overall - 💗💗💗💗 ▪️

[the-council-of-new-york-vampires]

Can you please submit Adam's past!!! As well as some headcanons on him ;(

Out of Character:

Adam’s past is in the works… You see, I started some day in December and didn’t do so much work on it since. 😅 Technically, it’s finished, but it’s especially hard to edit, because it’s the longest one I’ve yet written, and I really do want it to be perfect. But don’t worry, I’ll def publish it. ☺️

Lemme start with my headcanons:

My biggest one: Adam is a psychopath. So, sometime ago, I asked people on their opinion on that topic and legit no one replied… Thanks for that, guys. 🙃😂 Anyway, I have been drowning myself in research for several weeks now, and I know that there’s a lot of misinformation about psychopathy online. Like, psychopaths have very little to do with Hollywood movies, and it’s not a mental illness but a neurological disorder. I differentiate between sociopaths and psychopaths as well, as in: Psychopaths are born, sociopaths are made, and they behave and think differently. I have been analyzing Adam’s behavior and scenes carefully and, as far as I’m concerned, he meets all the signs for psychopathy. I know it’s kind of a critical topic to discuss, but I’d love to analyze Adam’s behavior and thoughts and compare it to psychopathy, in a separate post. (I am not looking to insult or offend anyone with this, I just love giving interesting characters more depth and exploring their minds and ways of thinking, especially when it comes to villains.)

Fitting the above one, Adam was a con artist at some point. I always thought of this job he would be so good at, but never knew the name until I came across it during my psychopathy research. Con artist! That job is made for him. I headcanon, some day after being a politician as a human, he came to America and started working as, I don’t know the name, but those people who came to people’s houses and sold them bullshit. He didn’t do that for a long time, though, because I don’t think it makes good money and it has a low social standing. However, that’s how he slipped into the con artist job or how he calls it “working in the finance sector”. He did that for, I don’t know, ten years or more, before he decided he had made enough money with it. He wanted to get into poilitics again to satisfy his desire for power, and quit being a con artist, because it would have been too risky to do both at the same time. (I doubt he was ever caught, but conning people is obviously illegal.)

It was slightly hinted at by Adrian that, sometimes, Adam kills women after sleeping with them. I think when he was around Priya’s age, he did that very often. Just sought them out and killed them afterwards, because he liked the feeling of power and control it gave him. In the present, it is more likely that he has contacts for things like that, contacts he does not kill, because it would be a huge scandal, obviously. Still, he sees all people as objects, humans more so than vampires, and attractive young women primary as sex objects to use and discard, and he thinks it’s pathetic that they adore him and seek him out the way they do, that they ‘let’ him kill them. But of course, he pretends to be this super elegant gentleman. I do think he was taught to treat women with special respect, but, if you consider his actual personality, it’s highly unlikely that he keeps that mask on in the bedroom. He displays it in public, because most women love gentlemen, but, unless his lover needs to be manipulated by him or he wants something from her, he is totally different, degrading even, in the bedroom.

I think Adam is very vain to the point that he needs longer in the bathroom than some ladies. I think he has a personal barber, stylist, you name it, and they come over every morning. He loves his appearance and - sorry - I can definitely see him making out with a mirror. At least, whenever he walks by, he does admire the guy he sees. But how could you not? How could women not? At least, that’s what Adam thinks. And lemme judge: he’s damn right. Adam’s About 183 cm tall (I just know), he’s muscular, he has a nice haircut, a fancy beard, great taste in fashion… And those, lemme guess, thick 7 inches. 😌😏 Hehe.

Pretty sure that Adam has a wild, irresponsible streak in him that he must live out somehow. I mean, he dated Priya and as if she would ever date anyone boring. Adam loves partying, irresponsible sexual acts, the adrenaline when seeking thrills. Despite what people think, I can definitely see him as a reckless driver, especially when alone. This guy has no fears. He is similar to Kamilah in some ways, but that’s one where they differ: I think he can let go better than she can, he just needs the right circumstances, right people, right situations. He is a lot more likely to play Roulette and bet on black just for the hell of it. With Priya, he did many irresponsible things, thinking “I don’t care. I love it.” Icona Pop knows. 😉

As a mortal, Adam had a family and children. Considering the historical context, this is more than likely. People often say they can’t imagine him as a father, and in a way I agree: I think he was a very neglectful and absent father who had a lot more kids than he wanted (considering the fact that he wanted none 😂). Furthermore, he was a very disloyal husband, married more than once, got women pregnant who he wasn’t married to, banished them or forced them into an abortion (people knew there were ways to miscarry)… I’m guessing the probability for him to cheat in a relationship to be as high as 80%. I see no reason for him not to cheat, because he has no moral compass and he believes he can have anyone, deserving of as many lovers as he wants. However, if she would cheat, he would either be incredibly angry or totally careless. Anyway, if there is one person seeing a crying toddler and thinking “Damn, I’m glad my kids are dead”, it’s Adam.

Back to his roots: Adam grew up Catholic. This is not me saying religion makes people bad (I’m religious myself), but me saying he grew up at a time and in a country that was certainly Catholic. However, I highly doubt he ever believed in any religion, simply was raised into a strictly religious environment. In that way, he broke rules very early such as no lying or no touching yourself, and this is how he learned to be sneaky about it. This theory explains his name as well, as Adam was the first human created by God, and he was likely named after him, not as the first human in the world, but the first baby born to his parents, a noble couple. I’m very sure he grew up in a big family. However, he is only focused only on himself since… all the time.

Obviously, regarding sex, Adam has done almost everything there is to do. I think he is much more animalistic and pleasure-focused than people think, and he loves to break taboos the same way he breaks rules as he considers himself above them. Imagine anything nasty and I bet he has done it. Either with someone kinky like Priya or he just persuaded a ‘normal’ person into letting him try whatever ‘sick’ fantasy he had. Also, he loves group sex with, like, four women who cater to his needs. I tried to widen this headcanon a bit by bringing guys into it as well. While I think Adam is definitely heterosexual, I wouldn’t be surprised if anything happened between him and a man. I headcanon something like: He was at an orgy, drunk or whatever, centuries ago, doing his thing, and a guy just approached and gave him oral. Lol. And he let him do it, because why the hell not? Meanwhile, I find kissing a bit too intimate, but I can imagine he has done it, too, out of manipulation or because a guy just kissed him. With Priya, I headcanon he seduced young women, killed them… and they had fun with them, like… blood play and stuff…

I think Adam’s basic directive is “I don’t care”, regarding the other members of The Council as well. Of course, there are things he cares about deeply, like killing the Clanless or getting votes, but all of that serves no one but himself, the only person on Earth he actually cares about. You could give him any person’s name and ask if they shall live or die and he wouldn’t care at all what happens to them (unless that person’s existence is useful or bothering for him). Yeah, he has no conscience and he gives zero shits. His emotions are super limited. Like, when Gaius presented them his morbid plan, Adam was careless to the point that he had to observe the others’ reactions to be able to form and voice an opinion. He is calm by default and rarely gets angry (the anger he showed in several scenes was fake in order to appear believable).

Regarding lovers, Adam has a type. He likes young women (22-28), naive and ‘stupid’, women he can easily control, and he sees himself deserving of having all the pretty ones, like trophies or possessions. When someone doesn’t have the right age or look, he considers them not good enough for him and would find it pathetic if they asked him out. He doesn’t like independent women, he likes women he can make dependent on him. He always needs to be the superior one, financially as well as intellectually. All this explains why he never had and never ever will have a thing for Kamilah. She is everything he can’t control, can’t subject, and that’s why he respects her and can openly express a platonic liking for her. But deep inside, women like that threaten him and he wants to destroy them, because they are too smart to fall for him. And women (people) he can’t benefit from, who refuse to obey him, who he can’t manipulate, have no use to him. Regarding one night stands, which he had a lot more than gilfriends, he only targets very attractive women. He likes dark types, like himself, rather than blondes, and women who are particularly feminine. Long hair, long nails, dresses, high heels… I think that attracts him. And he loves asses. And Latinas. Sorry.

I think Adam has more than two faces. To the public, he is that super friendly, charming guy who wants the best for anyone. To The Council, he is that friendly guy who has drastic measures, but still puts a lot of importance on their team-spirit. Part of the mask is off, but he still presents himself as friendly and interested in the well-being of the public. Like, he greets the members happily and calls them his “friends”, but everyone does know they shouldn’t turn on him. (The Baron even said so.) When dating Priya, he showed a different face again. More of that easy-going guy, a great sport, overly protective of his ‘loved’ ones. He always alternates between “Hello, I am super friendly and chill, you can talk about anything with me” and “I am super dangerous and you better not fuck with me”. Then, in reality, he is a cold-hearted snake who cares about no one but himself. Now imagine him around his Clan. I think his mask slips off even further than it does when he’s with The Council, in a way that they might even fear him, because they know what he’s capable of. Or they admire him because he leaves the mask on, like the nerd in the train to the Ball does, who obviously has a crush on him? It is so different to assess Adam, because he is a great actor and he can legit be anyone. He can be the kind philantrophist you support, the sexy celebrity you admire, the relaxed guy who is your best friend, the intelligent Clan leader, the most caring boyfriend you have had, the most abusive boyfriend you have had… or the man who is actually planning to murder you.

[mangodestroyer]

Hence why I would say he's more of a teddy bear than a bear-bear. My idea of a bear would be... a little hairier? A little more casual wear? Probably tall rather than short? Someone who has a total dad body. Aziraphale is more of a plump, proper, and pampered British guy. In fact, you would never in a thousand years guess that he's strong enough to casually lift a boulder half his size like it's styrofoam.

I've personally always hated how conventional beauty even became a thing. Even with all these pushes to promote more unconventional forms of attractiveness, people still default to wanting super-model hot individuals. I say this as a person who has a more unconventional appearance, and who constantly shifts between feeling attractive in a very unique way, and feeling hideous because it just doesn't seem to be what people want. Growing up, it always felt like people wanted tall, thin, blonde haired and blue eyed individuals. Sharp, small noses, perfect proportions (which usually means very long legs for AFAB), certain jawlines, etc. It still feels this way tbh (I've never met a person with these qualities who struggled to get into a relationship). It kind of shocks me how many people get bent over not having the perfect partner (although said people who want perfection tend to be really toxic). I refuse to change myself just to be more appealing to the masses (in other words, ridding myself of my personality and rejecting my gender identity by caking myself in make-up). But it sucks knowing that being yourself and just being different means getting overlooked. I also came to realize, months after breaking up with my ex, that there were so many signs that they may have been lying about finding me attractive. Literally everyone who knew about this relationship even told me so. So I'm not only overlooked, I'm just a last resort option for those who don't want to be single.

But then I see people get into relationships with super attractive individuals with a lot going for them who... don't seem like they should be getting those individuals? Sometimes, it's an old man with a 20-year-old woman. Sometimes, it's someone who is both very unfortunate appearance wise and doesn't take care of their hygiene. Sometimes, it's a person who is seriously a dysfunctional wreck and should probably be getting help rather than dating someone. Sometimes, it's a person who refuses to work (despite not having a disability) and spends so much time playing video games. Often times, these people don't even have a good personality, or really anything going for them and can even sometimes be abusive in some way. They're the types of people who make chronically single people who want relationships say, "How am I still single?" Attraction is weird, mysterious thing.

And yeah, I agree. I think conventional beauty is boring. I think lots of people look just fine. Even people who might not be considered very attractive. I think there are also lots of people leading unconventional lifestyles and who have "weird" hobbies who also seem fine. TV shows where everyone is a hot af mf are so Goddamn boring. All the characters look and act the same. Hell, even if Crowley is generally agreed upon to be a sexy beast in the fandom, not everything about him is "perfect" or conventionally good looking. He has crooked teeth, for one. Some people hate crooked teeth. I personally think that adds to his cuteness. Perfect, straight, white teeth are overrated anyway. They look unnatural and creepy on most people imo. I'm sure Aziraphale would agree on that sentiment. He seems that type who would find Crowley's imperfect teeth endearing.

Well, I think it makes sense that a confused, amnesiac Gabriel would be drawn to Aziraphale. Azi kind of has that motherly nature about him. He looks like a very safe person to hang around. I would probably feel very comfortable in his presence too. I've even wondered for the longest time if that's something that drew Crowley to him. Why he approached him on the gate in the first place.

In my human AU, Gabriel is Aziraphale's cousin. They grew up spending a lot of time together. Gabriel acts a little bit like a mean brother to him at times. He also works in a higher ranking position than him at the same company, which probably isn't alright legally (idk all the laws on this) but I see it happen all the time irl. He totally got Aziraphale a job he wants, but is still an annoying jerk to him at times. He also acts like he owns the place and thinks everyone loves him.

I also headcanon Gabriel as being on the bisexual spectrum. I'm not really sure why. A lot of people would probably assume he's straight, but I just get a vibe from him. I feel like he would usually be more attracted to feminine and non-binary individuals. And I could just easily see him having a thing for Crowley. Basically seeing him/they/her as that weird, hot goth girl. I know he wouldn't like the fact that Crowley is put off by him, and makes that pretty obvious. Maybe he's even one of those weird men who feels like women who don't like them are a challenge to overcome. Those controlling types who love free-spirited individuals (which is what I seem to attract if I attract anyone at all). Which is... yuck! That's probably what Lucifer was to Crowley. Controlling.

Aziraphale knows how to treat the lovely Crowley. He's a gentleman. He respects his boundaries, forgives him for not being perfect, and appreciates so much about him. Crowley couldn't ask for better. Like I said, Aziraphale does have a lot going for him, on top of having a great personality and treating people right. Gabriel probably resents the fact that he's able to attract people like Crowley.

Aziraphale is so fuckin' beautiful wtf

[sosthemortalcoil]

I just wanted to express my surprise over how popular Micheal is as a RO. I can't wrap my head around the fact that someone who thinks that he can do whatever he likes with Gabriel and things concerning Gabriel (hiding from us our AROF status, demanding constant connection on battlefield, trying to kill a kid that Gabriel took under their protection and that just the things showed in the demo) is so easly accepted, from my perspective this is the very definition of toxic relationship

First of all, I just want to say that’s perfectly fine! Honestly, I’d be a little worried if everyone liked Michael (especially since he was not designed to be an RO, for more or less these very reasons). Thank you for submitting your opinion.

However, I’d like to perhaps offer some insight into why others may enjoy him (again, not trying to say there’s anything wrong with disliking him–please do continue to dislike him and have different opinions!) Spoilery information below, so read at your own risk if at all interested.

1. First and foremost, this is a work of fiction. It’s a game, a bit of a fantasy, if you will. We do things and act in ways in game that we often would not in real-life–I certainly don’t go around smiting demons, for instance :D The distinction is an important one. In real life, someone who constantly yelled at me, seemed incapable of having a rational or civil conversation, and generally behaved like a thorn in my side I would avoid as much as possible. I certainly wouldn’t want a relationship with them. However, in a game like this, where I know in advance that the character has a different side and can change? That’s a different story. I wouldn’t trust anyone in real-life like this, but this is fiction. Two very different things. I also don’t smoke a pack a day and drink my liver away, but I have a soft-spot for playing characters with some serious vices too–trying to instill the same moral values I have in reality to my works of fiction wouldn’t translate well most of the time.

2. Hiding AROF status never sits well with Gabriel, even if they aren’t surprised about it. They are, rightfully, irritated that such information would be concealed from them. However, Michael is not alone in not telling Gabriel about AROF. For instance, Israfel knew and never told you. So, holding that against Michael and Michael alone isn’t necessarily fair.

3. Constant connection is almost a given with nestmates. Now, they might all be grown and archangels, but it can feel like missing a limb when you can’t sense one of them. Combine that with communication is necessary to keeping everyone safe, and Michael’s own worry about Gabriel’s safety, and it’s not entirely unreasonable for him to react the way he does. It’s technically a breach of protocol not to respond when being contacted, which is why both Michael and Israfel send a seraph to check on Gabriel.

4. Daniel is not a child to Michael. Whether or not you tried to kill Daniel or protect him, Michael had no way of knowing that you were given an order to protect the boy, and when he first realizes what the boy is, he’s under the assumption that you don’t know. General policy of heavy is to kill satanspawn on sight–he can’t imagine that you would have orders to protect the child. Does he ignore you when you tell him that Daniel is under your protection? Absolutely. But he can’t imagine that you would willingly and knowingly protect a creature of sin (as he understands the boy to be). He can’t wrap his head around the idea that God would give such an order, and defaults to his knee-jerk reaction. Is he in the wrong? 100%. But a character who is always right and perfect is boring. He also sees Daniel as a threat to Gabriel’s position–protecting a satanspawn with an AROF stamp seems like the perfect recipe for Falling–and that’s where his mind tends to stay.

5. I don’t know how much of Michael’s situation you know, as what we know in the game is not much. But there is a force instructing Michael what to do if he wants to keep Gabriel safe. He’s not allowed to tell Gabriel about certain things, which makes him irrational and irritated as he hates lying or concealing things from Gabriel. He’s supposed to do certain things ‘to keep Gabriel safe and prevent them from risking their position’ and when he fails at doing those thing, he’s hit with fear, worry, and terror–which we see expressed as more yelling. Not a great response, but there is a bit of a provocation for it. (Whether it’s justified or not I’ll leave to you–there’s not right or wrong answer)

6. Michael can change. If he can clear his chest of the guilt weighing it down and confide everything to Gabriel, we can see a healthier, almost naively sweet Michael. All Michael has ever wanted is Gabriel to be happy (albeit it, he wants them to be happy with him.) He can’t stand Gabriel seeming to become corrupt, true, and he will fight a dark!Gabriel if not manipulated because he views them as someone different from the nestmate he once knew. But whatever happens, Michael will always love Gabriel. Combine with the awkwardness he tends to favor in romantic situation, some people are excited for his romance. Is he for everyone? No. Is he going to be the smoothest romance? Again, no. But can I see why some people are anticipating the romance? Yes. Do I see why some people think he should be kept far away? Heck yes. Disagreeing over characters is great.

7. I think ‘easily’ accepted may be a bit of an issue. You could have tried to kill Daniel too, for one, which means you don’t have a whole lot of ground to stand on when chiding Michael for doing the same. And there will be discussions about what Michael has done wrong prior to any relationship. It’s not just kiss and make-up. It’s “Here’s where you really screwed up. Do you understand what you did wrong and can you promise to do better?” Two, you’ve been together for longer than humans have recorded history. Getting on each other’s nerves is a side-effect of coexisting for that long. Even Israfel needs his space from you sometimes.

Just want to finish with saying please don’t feel that I’m trying to say the only right way to see Michael is as a poor boy in need of some love. There is no right and wrong way. I’ve mentioned before you can end up killing him, and growing apart and wanting nothing to do with him is a perfectly healthy and legitimate response. But I can see both sides, and exploring different sides is part of the joy of a story like this.

[imagine-shenanigans]

ooo yes! Hmhm you didn’t specify a type of monster so for Zola I did two types! I’ll be doing a couple of my favs in another post since this one got a little long hoohoo @princess-zola

Monster!Zola with a human S/O (Multiple kinds)

General

So! I’ll start this with a few general headcanons

Zola feels almost unworthy to be with you, very insecure because he’s a monster (literally) and he’s with the best, kindest, most wonderful human he’s ever met. Melts every time you promise him that you love him, and that you’re with him because he makes you happy, so of course he’s worthy.

He’s unbelievably soft and careful, deeply afraid of hurting you regardless of his actual strength. Afraid of breaking you, almost treats you like porcelain sometimes. 

If he ever huts you, he’s in tears instantly, no matter how little the injury is. He could give you a papercut and he’d be in tears within seconds, desperately lapping at the blood on your finger and pressing soft kisses to your skin as an apology. 

Shapeshifter!Zola

Okay this is the obvious answer that I couldn’t help but put down, but the funny part is I only remembered after thinking about the next monster on the list... 

Zola views his normal form as hideous, considering the people he’s typically around are mostly human, and it’s one of the things he constantly hears. His normal appearance like in Canon is the appearance he defaults to - just close enough in appearance to his more monstrous form that he doesn’t feel like he’s assuming another skin, but much more human looking than he is.

He puts off showing you his true form for as long as possible, scared that when you see him you’ll leave him. 

His eyes are shut tight when the illusion drops, showing his rather skinny form, ribs showing more than usual. His sunken cheeks and pale grey skin make him look like a corpse, or something close to it. (In his eyes, at least.) His long fingers hook into claws, and he hunches over despite the fact that even as a monster he’s still short for his kind, hardly any taller than when disguised.

He keeps his eyes shut tight, tears threatening to leak from the corners of his eyes as he waits for the inevitable scream, and the running, and then having to re-find a home all over again, and he’ll lose one of the best (if not only) good things in his life.

He doesn’t expect to feel your hands on his cheeks, gently brushing the tears that threaten to fall from the corners of his sunken,tightly closed eyes. Doesn’t expect the kisses to press gently to his jaw, and your soft words telling him that it’s okay - you love him how he is, regardless of looks, and you’d be lying if you didn’t say he was rather dashing in this form. This is right around the time that he starts actually bawling.

He tries to stick to his actual real form more after that, but he stills likes to change shape in order to cuddle you depending on the mood! If you’re really warm, he takes the form of a naga, or another cold blooded monster, but during the winter months he likes to turn into something with fur, and cuddle up to you and keep you warm. He likes the times where the weather is not too hot, or too cold, and he can cuddle you in his true form.

Hugs you constantly, wrapping his spindly limbs around your waist and burying his face into your neck. Likes to press kisses to your forehead.

Sometimes he likes to mess with you when he’s in a playful mood, and he’ll run one of his claws (the dull side) up the bottom of your bare foot, or across the back of your neck before running away and feigning surprise, as in “how could you suspect me of mischief, my love? me?” and then he snorts, and gives a grin that he’s trying to fight

Despite his effortless transformations, it’s tough to act like the person you’re supposed to, so sometimes he’ll spend a day or two practicing his acting! It’s second nature, but he finds it easier to test himself when you’re there to give him pointers, try and find patterns between the characters, see where he’s slipping, etc. And afterwards, he thanks you, and gives you a biiiig kiss.

He’s almost always hungry - a side effect of using his powers constantly, so he carries small things to snack on when he starts getting really hungry, like ration bars, some nuts, etc. He’s always eager to share his food with you, whenever he sees or hears you get hungry!

Vampire!Zola

Vamp Zola was the first monster that came into my head, ngl

He’s not scared of himself, but he is scared of hurting others, and of being found out. He’s a type that doesn’t burn in the sun - he’s only “weaker” because his eyes are a little more sensitive to the light, and he’s naturally nocturnal. 

It’s so easy for him to blend in in Nohr, because he drinks animal blood (very easy to get ahold of, because nobody pays attention to what nohrian mages do ever because they might not like what they find) and refused to drink human. He’s so scrawny because of his preferences, animal blood is good and all, and he can survive off of it, but he should be drinking human blood too.

He’s constantly afraid of hurting you, whether when you let him drink some of your blood, or just in general. He doesn’t have exceptional strength among his kind, but he generally is stronger than the average human. He becomes less scared the more he knows your limits, but he’s very delicate - much more than any other counterparts!

He’s less worried about telling you about being a vampire than shapshifter!zola is, but he’s still veeeery nervous. He broaches the subject slowly, answers all your question, and fills in any blanks you might have. He explains his dietary habits while leaving out that he needs human blood and he’s eating basically the bare minimum to keep him surviving and takes immense relief in you being accepting.

He’ll literally die if you offer him some of your blood - both in embarrassment and then from fear of hurting you. 

He's adjusted to sleeping at night and being awake during the day but he’s still tired during the day! If he can get away with a nap, he will, and loves if you join him for one!

He’s wonderful to cuddle during the summer, considering he’s so cold, but during the winter it is a w f u l. You’ve perfected how to wrap yourself in blankets so your skin isn’t touching, but the two of you can still cuddle. 

Sometimes he likes to just hang out on your shoulder as a bat, and honestly it’s super cute because he likes to nuzzle his face against your jaw and it’s super fuzzy and soft.

You can always tell when he’s getting hungry, because he hugs you from behind and nuzzles your neck, giving you soft kisses and just breathing in and out slowly. He’s always super embarrassed about it!

If you let him have some of your blood (which he’ll never press! he won’t ever really ask so you’ll have to offer more often than not, until he’s a little more comfortable), he’ll make you a meal afterwards, and tuck in for a nap with you - he never eats very much, but he wants to make sure you’re well taken care of, regardless of how much you have.

[katesattic]

Sanders Sides: Voices

So I do still want to post that Analysis video of the latest Sanders Sides episode but I am way to sick to think about editing right now, so I’m back to my preferred medium: writing.

I really want to talk about the different voices Thomas employs for his various characters (the Sides being the most prominent and recurring ones) and I kind of just glossed over it in the video I made. I said something like it was cool, considerable attention to detail, and making the characters feel unique. But I want to take the time to go more in-depth with it. So here I am, writing this on my phone to be drafted and spell-checked later.

A Nod to the Shorts

First things first, this is not something exclusive to the Sides. Thomas has pretty much been doing this since his start on Vine. Whether it was an impression or a nametag character (e.g. Sleep or Brain), Thomas has been employing this technique in some fashion. You wouldn’t confuse Moon for Sleep because they have very different vocal habits as well as personalities.

In his impressions, he would obviously be trying to imitate a certain voice. And he would do his best to match it. His Stewie is spot-on as is his Brian (but to be fair his natural speaking voice is very similar to Seth MacFarlane’s natural speaking voice). But you can also spot changes in his voice for his original characters. The theatric nature of his voice is probably most prominent in series such as Narrating People’s Lives and when he takes on the role of a film or radio announcer in his shorts. Tone and inflexion are also a very important aspect of misleading compliments. The variation and the patterns present in Thomas’s voice are vast in his catalogue of videos, but I want to focus on the Sides.

an aside: I don’t know what it is about the way Thomas portrays Sleep, but he reminds me of the sassy gay bestfriend from a 90s sitcom. {And that might make me love the character of Sleep even more.}

My True Self

By this point, the three characters had already appeared in Thomas’s Vines. Yet the differences in their voices aren’t really present yet. As Thomas previously said, Roman’s voice had already been developed by this time thanks to his princely role in Into the Woods. Roman was also a very prolific character in Thomas’s vines, which allowed Thomas more time to perfect his voice.

Logan and Patton however, had very similar voices. Neither was truly unique or as iconic as their present voices. Logan’s voice is the most drastically different of the three Sides introduced in this video. Between the two of them Patton’s voice was closer to how it currently sound, I think the main difference is that it’s gotten even more bubbly and energetic as time has gone on. Logan’s voice, however, was very similar to both Thomas’s and Patton’s. It’s less stoic and sardonic than the voice we’ve come to associate with him. The most I can really say about Logan’s voice during this time is that it was plain and kind of forgettable.

Taking on Anxiety

Virgil came into the series with an already defined voice. Granted it was a bit more ... villainous (for lack of a better word) in his introduction. But even if the cadences of his voice weren’t exactly the way we expect to see them today, his voice was distinct because of his attitude. He’s the sass and snark master, and able to give as much as he takes from Roman. They have a frenemies/good cop, bad cop relationship with each other. Maybe that’s what gives them great chemistry (romantic or not).  Note the subtle changes in Virgil’s voice when he speaks to the other Sides though. He’s softer with the other two, especially Patton. Even with Patton, there’s a certain roughness, or grainy quality, to his voice that I just love.

Jumping forward to “Can Lying Be Good?” you can very clearly see the changes in both Virgil’s voice and attitude when he’s talking to Deceit versus Patton.  There is obvious hostility in his voice when addressing Deceit. Virgil's voice wasn't hostile towards Roman in his early episodes, sure, there was banter, but there was never out-right loathing. 

Moving back to “Moving On”, in part two especially, Virgil’s voice comes off as almost demonic. Whether that is a result of another Side corrupting him or a moment of pure anxiety overcoming Thomas, is not for this analysis to discuss but I am curious to know if we’ll ever hear more of this voice (by Virgil or another Side).

A New Year of Lying to Myself ... in Song

Can you believe this is only the fourth video in the Sanders Sides series? And Logan was absent from the previous two. So let me just say that by this point, all the voices have been cemented. Logan is back, and so is the voice we’ve come to love. Sure, he doesn’t speak much. I mean most of this video is spent in song, but we do see certain qualities in Logan’s voice to which we’ve become accustomed.

Also, hey, I think this is the first video with all four of the main Sides together, so that’s awesome.

Moving On

I’d like to take the time here to go more into detail about Patton’s voice. I’ve gone into details with the other three, so allow me to go more in-depth here. 

While Patton’s voice was cemented well before this video, this is the first episode where we see a different side to Patton. We see his other emotions, not just the silly and happy feelings, but the sad and longing ones. We see Patton pining for Thomas’s lost love, and unable to move on from the break-up. And along with this new sad Patton, we get a new sound to his voice. The moment that sticks out to me the most is the moment where he pleads with Logan to stop. The pain in his voice is so real and just thinking about it is making me tear up a bit. Conversely, Patton’s voice also becomes overly silly during these moments of duress. Also rewatching this episode, I realise that there’s a certain Roman Quality to Patton’s voice. The slightest hint of a quasi-British accent, particularly when Patton's giving deep and insightful advice.

This whole analysis is less about what the Sides are saying than��how they are saying it. And I don’t think there could be a more obvious example than this two-part episode. In preparation for this analysis I’ve been listening to the videos - not watching them - but listening to them. And just from listening, you can hear th hesitation in Patton’s voice when the time comes to enter his room.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, that all you need is the audio and you can instantly differentiate the characters without even seeing their faces.

Can Lying Be Good?

No, no it cannot, but a new character with an amazingly distinct voice is. Deceit’s voice is incredible! Absolutely chilling! And I love it so much. I remember when ”Patton’s” voice changed, the first time I watched, when Deceit was revealed, I genuinely thought that it was being dubbed over the other character. Seriously, I just assumed one actor dubbed over the voice of another (similar to how Thomas dubs his voice over Joan’s while Roman has shapeshifted into Joan). It throws me every time I watch it. I assume it’s someone else’s voice rather than Thomas’s.

Additionally, when Deceit is disguised as Patton before he reveals himself, you can tell Patton’s voice is ... off. The first time you watch the episode, you can’t seem to tell what exactly is off about Patton. His voice is a strange mix between Patton’s eccentric vocal habits and Thomas’s natural speaking voice. I can’t be sure if this was a subconsious thing or a deliberate change Thomas made but it’s nuance is nothing shy of perfection.

The suspension of disbelief is so strong when it comes to the Sides that I genuinely forget that all these characters are being portrayed by the same gay (this was a typo, but I’m keeping it). And not only are all these characters, being portrayed by the same guy, they are also voiced by that same guy as well.

Sides Aside

Seriously, Sides aside, I love Thomas’s voice and headphones truly enhance all the minor features present within it. So here we go ...

THIS MAN IS A SIREN. You don’t have to experience sexual or romantic attraction to men to know that this man sings the siren’s song. I don't know how to adequately explain Thomas's voice. It's magic? It’s soft and low? There’s a gentle yet grainy element to his voice. I’m trying to come up with terms outside the scope of someone who’s interested in linguistics and phonology. And am really struggling to express how his voice sounds. Like, there’s something so comforting and soothing about his speaking voice, and his singing voice amplifies that tenfold.

OK, so I have this playlist of two songs ("The Things We USed to Share" and his cover of "Snow in Venice") which I just play on repeat the entire night ... what I'm trying to say is: I'm biased. My default to describing his voice is magical and comforting. I'm very fond of bass and baritone singers, and I absolutely love when they hit the low notes so  ... I'm biased. 

I guess the whole point of this analysis is for me to just talk in length about how amazingly talented this dude is.  He has an incredible vocal range, in both the acting and singing departments. His characters are distinct, in voice and personality and his humour is never lost, no matter how serious the topic. Long story short, this g(a/u)y's amazing, and I'm a fucking fangirl.

[kaibutsushidousha]

What compels you about Ouma and Momota's relationship, if you want to talk about it?

It’s pretty obvious starting from how the two characters present themselves. Momota is constantly acting and treating himself as a hero character while Ouma is doing the same as villain character. Whenever Ouma moves into action, Momota is the one who takes center stage as his opposition.  I don’t count screentime, but to me it really felt like they both were the character each other interacted with the most (maybe not for Momota, but for Ouma I’m much more sure).

Their self-proclaimed hero vs self-proclaimed villain dynamic has a lot of potential and I think the game really delivered it. And the highlights are naturally spoilers.

Momota is a character who puts himself in a very high spot. He blatantly sees himself as a leader and big brother and his friends as his followers. “The boss and the assistants” as he like so much to phrase it. As the guiding boss he listen to Saihara’s trouble with Akamatsu and Harukawa’s backstory (and Saihara’s backstory in Free Time) and tells the two why they are wrong, leading them to change their worldviews (although in Harukawa’s case I really feel he is doing right for the wrong reasons, but that’s another topic). Momota strongly assumes his own worldview is right by default and Ouma is the only character who actual manages to make him rethink it, not only once but in multiple occasions.

*Saihara and Momota’s conversation during the investigation, where Momota admits his mistake on the Monokumerzpad case and thinks that maybe everyone watching the videos together would be a better idea and would to the true cooperation they seek. Saihara answers that’s exactly what Ouma was trying to force everyone to do and Momota starts rethinking Ouma’s view on cooperation.

*Trial 4 as a whole. That’s point where both Momota’s hero act and Ouma’s villain act are their highest and it really feels intense. “Trust without suspicion is not real trust” is a line Kodaka has been throwing around since the first game and I think Momota is the character who embodies this idea the most. Momota’s blind refusal to suspect Gonta really comes back to bite him and even strains his relationship to Saihara due to Momota’s intense resistance to revise his worldview. Thankfully, Ouma also gives him plenty of time to reflect about it in the hangar.

*This is still part of the 4th trial, but I like the punch scene in special because of how Momota throwing up in front of everyone forces him to expose his hypocrisy and Ouma doesn’t waste his this opportunity to lecture him about. After a whole trial advocating the pure truth against Ouma’s lies and behind hit hard by said truth, Momota is publically exposed as being lying himself all along. I don’t think Momota’s growth would be as good without this important moment.

*The 5th murder. Momota says that after everything was over, he still couldn’t figure if Ouma was good coward who played the villain role because he didn’t know how to trust and felt he wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise or if he was a genuine greedy villain who just want a perfect victory in the killing game by outplaying the mastermind, but no matter which one it was, it’s undeniable that he tried to save Harukawa, Momota and everyone else. Momota even entertaining the idea that Ouma was the kind coward is already amazing progress (although the previous trial’s aftermath had already shaved a good chunk of Momota’s stubbornness).

Momota used to think of Ouma at first as just a childish brat he needed to lecture someday, then as a legitimaly hateful evil guy, but in his final moments, Momota expressed nothing but pure respect for Ouma regardless who his true self was.

And Ouma, despite loving to mock that idiot, clearly was respected Momota as the hero he presented himself as. Ouma chose Momota of all people to kidnap because he thought as the group’s hero and the force that moved them. Their conversation in the hangar gave me a clear idea that Momota was what Ouma really wanted to be but couldn’t because he is the paranoid coward he is. 

To be honest, I think the only way I could made their dynamic better is adding a scene where Momota “pays Ouma back”. Ouma and Momota have the exact same problem of arrogantly believing their worldview to be right and everyone else wrong and we see a lot of Ouma correcting Momota, but no Momota correcting Ouma. That would be really great to see.

[woozapooza]

Black Sails 1x01

Here we go!!! A new show!!! What a good pilot episode. So much happened, I can’t believe it’s only been one episode.

I was apprehensive about starting Black Sails because I’d been anticipating it for months and had built it up in my head. It’s the same apprehension I had starting Wynonna Earp. But once again, I have correctly judged from a tiny bit of information that a show is an excellent match for me. I’m not nearly as good as I’d like to be at following and remembering the events of shows, so after I finished the episode, I recounted as much of the plot as I could remember to myself. While doing that, I realized one thing that made it such a good way to start a show: it’s brimming with the theme of gambling, of making dangerous choices that may pay off hugely down the line or may end in disaster. Combine that with the numerous interesting characters, not to mention the fact that it’s a period drama about pirates I mean come on what’s better than that, and you’ve got the perfect recipe to make me keep watching. I hope everything in the following lil recap/review is factually correct but eh who knows.

Let’s start with Flint. The trope of angsty morally dubious loner captain dude, while cool in theory, does not always go over well for me (see Jack Harkness and Mal Reynolds, neither of whom is as questionable as Flint). But I think in Flint this trope (which probably has a name, or at least is an amalgam of a few tropes that have names) may finally work for me, and I’m not just saying that out of ginger solidarity, nor just because aesthetically Flint is #goals. Flint has been “gambling” for months before the show even starts: he’s been going after ships that don’t seem like good targets because he thinks they’ll lead him to the jackpot, the Urca de Lima. The result of him keeping his plan secret from the crew is low morale and the threat of mutiny. Flint has to walk the line between keeping the crew satisfied and pursuing a goal that will more than make up for the toll its pursuit takes. He fails to walk this line, but Singleton’s mutiny gives Flint the opportunity to change tactics while still very much gambling: by accusing Singleton of stealing the Urca’s schedule, he gets to fight and kill Singleton (he also had to bet on Singleton choosing a duel over a trial, but I’m assuming he knew Singleton well enough that it wasn’t a risky bet) and pretend to recover the schedule from Singleton’s corpse. Until he produced the blank sheet of paper, I really couldn’t guess whether he actually suspected Singleton or he was just looking for an excuse to put down the mutiny. I didn’t expect the trick with the blank paper. Flint may be the main character but you can’t always see into his head, so I expect he’ll be a lot of fun to watch. I enjoy his cleverness, his ruthlessness, and his moments of vulnerability. I’m still unsure whether he meant it at all when he apologized to the crew for keeping secrets from them. I’d like to think it wasn’t a complete lie, even though it was also a ploy to get them to like him again, but it’s not like he’s stopped lying to them. He has his crew’s loyalty back—fortunately he was right to gamble that Billy would play along and pretend Singleton really did have the schedule—but it will only last so long before they realize he doesn’t have it. He also has to hide the fact that Guthrie, who was key to getting the ship, is a) under arrest and b) so far, unwilling to help. Will Flint get the schedule for realsies before the crew figures out that he lied to them again?

Lying now and hoping he’ll have the means to make up for it later is not the worst thing Flint does in this episode. It’s the killing of Singleton that really shows that he’s not a straightforward hero. I wouldn’t say mutiny justifies murder, but then again I’m not a pirate. I also wouldn’t say theft merits the death penalty, but that’s how pirates do. What I’m getting at is, Flint may do questionable things (like, in addition to the very fact of piracy), but he’s not the only one. I guess pirates have their own morality and just because Flint does things I wouldn’t do doesn’t mean he doesn’t have some kind of code. He even acknowledges, speaking to Billy, that pirates have a way of life that makes sense to them but not to mainstream people (I know I’m making pirates sound like hipsters but it was the first phrasing that came to mind): “men who keep what is theirs and fear no one.” 

Speaking of Billy the boatswain, I really like him as well, and not just because he’s played by Tom Hopper. His type of gambling has to do with how much of his faith and loyalty he’s going to put into Flint. He pretends that Flint was correct to accuse Singleton of theft, but he’s by no means a sycophant. When Flint is brutally interrogating Richard Guthrie and tells Billy to point the gun at Guthrie, Billy has no problem pointing it at Flint instead. So if Billy is playing along with Flint’s scheme, he must have weighed the options and decided this was best. Billy, like Flint, thinks, speaks, and acts for himself. Also, he looks like Tom Hopper.

Silver is a bit of a weird character because he’s to some extent our point-of-view character, but he’s also absent for large parts of the episode. Regarding his role as the audience stand-in, it was cool to show him discovering all the information about the Urca de Lima at the same time that Flint’s voiceover was explaining the same information. Regarding Silver’s personality, I really enjoy his unapologetic selfishness and self-preservation. Everyone on the show has their ways of looking out for themselves, and for Silver, that happens to mean hiding below deck, killing the cook (in self-defense, to be fair), stealing the Urca’s schedule because he knows it’s valuable even though he doesn’t know why, and pretending he’s a cook so he gets to join the crew of the Walrus (I’m looking forward to find out whether he actually can cook). But when Flint kills Singleton, do I dare see in Silver’s face a hint of remorse that his actions might have gotten someone killed, or do I need to be more cynical? Anyway, his main gamble is to hold on to the schedule rather than hand it over to Flint. He also has to make the gamble to trust Max.

Max, who is pretty mysterious so far but very alluring, likewise has to gamble to trust Silver. I like their dynamic—good teamwork from two blatantly self-interested people. Her acquisition of the schedule parallels how Silver got it: he could tell the cook really wanted to hold onto it, she could tell he really wanted to hold onto it. Both of them are clearly good at identifying where profit lies and getting there. Silver says that when he sees an opportunity for gain, he can’t help but take it; when given the chance to back out of a partnership with him, Max isn’t tempted, which suggests that she is much the same. As for another of Max’s relationships, as I have said, one of the reasons I wanted to watch this show was that I knew it had quality gay/bi content and WOW it turns out they hit you with it right in the first episode! I ship her and Eleanor by default (and because of the line “Max is your harbor,” I’ve decided my ship tag will be “all I want is to be your harbor”) but their interaction was mostly sex, so I hope we get to see more depth to their relationship soon. However, one of the episode’s few tender moments was Max’s concern when she saw the bruise Vane left on Eleanor’s face, so that bodes well for her and for the two of them.

I think Eleanor might be my favorite character so far, largely because Hannah New is very attractive when she’s swearing. And in general. She gambles by funding Gates’ efforts at bribery (making their interaction also a gamble for Gates) and oops she almost won that gamble but not quite. She also has to choose between loyalty to Vane and loyalty to Flint. She chooses Flint. We’ll see how that turns out. She is undoubtedly and unapologetically self-interested, but without crossing the line into immorality. (I mean immorality relative to the show’s baseline morality.) Same goes for most of these characters, now that I think about it, including Max. In addition to their similarities, these ladies balance each other: Eleanor is gruffer but more emotional, while Max is more subtle and more sanguine. Ship ship ship.

While watching The 100 I often wondered if Roan was just a boring character or if there was an innate boringness to Zach McGowan. Now I can declare that Roan is just a boring character. Vane is not boring. He’s pretty frightening, really. Maybe ZM should just only ever play villains? I don’t know. Anyway, despite being set up as the antagonist, I’m not yet convinced that Vane is really much worse than Flint. We shall see. He’s got a plan of his own, though it doesn’t really fit the gambling theme: he tried to engineer the victory of Singleton’s mutiny so that, once the crew of the Walrus realized they no longer had a competent captain, they’d defect to Vane’s crew. That didn’t pan out since Flint took down Singleton and made up with his crew, but Vane didn’t really lose anything, at least not as far as we��ve seen. For that reason, he’s probably the character who came out of the pilot looking the least vulnerable.

Gates, like Flint, feels like a character type I have seen before: the practical, long-suffering but loyal second-in-command to the headstrong, risk-taking team leader. The only other example I can think of is Bennet Drake from Ripper Street, but I think I’ve seen it elsewhere as well. Gates is the one who puts into words the theme I’ve been talking about: he tells Eleanor that if she loans him money to ensure Flint retains the captaincy, it will be an “investment in the future.” I’m looking forward to seeing whose investments pay off and whose future wins out.

There’s a lot of conflict already, but there’s a lot of overlap of characters’ traits, I guess because they all know this piratey world quite well and what kind of person you have to be to survive and to thrive. Basically, the first episode sets up a rough world where everyone is looking out for themselves and making difficult choices that they think are for their own good but that might have explosive consequences down the line. We get a glimpse of what these characters want and what they’re willing to do to get it. Also there are pirates. What’s not to love?

WHO DOES RACKHAM REMIND ME OF? I looked up Toby Schmitz’s filmography and I don’t think I’ve see him in anything else but I swear he reminds me of someone!

Best dialogue of the episode:

Gates, to Billy: You’re a highly regarded member of this crew. The captain regards your input more than you know.

Gates, to Flint: Billy’s going with you.

Flint: Who’s Billy?

[itsclydebitches]

Hello, lovely readers! Welcome back. Buckle up, this chapter — and its accompanying recap — is one of our longest so far. 

To start, I am grappling with my surprise over the opening sentence of Chapter Seven:

“Scarlet was disappointed that there’d been no big celebration following reinitiation.”

I’m sorry, reinitiation is over? First, this goes against the expectations set up last chapter. Sun, Velvet, and Scarlet had a whole conversation about how this test looked exactly like normal initiation, so obviously there must be some key difference in order to both differentiate it from regular initiation, and ensure that students originally from Shade don’t have a major advantage. They seemed to expect a twist to this test so I expected a twist too. In fact, as a reader looking for entertainment, a twist was all but assured. Or so I thought. When nothing much happened during Velvet’s adventure — she just drops down the first hole she sees, immediately spots the relic, and dodges some grimm on her way out — I thought, “There must be a Part II coming up.” The airship isn’t taking them back to Shade, it’s taking them to the next sequence in the test. …Apparently not. It really is just like regular initiation.

Second, what about the rest of Team CFVY? What about Team SSSN? We don’t need to follow every character individually (that would indeed take a while), but at least do something similar to what we just got with Velvet and Sun undergoing the same challenge. If I remember correctly, the student body was divided into three or four groups, meaning that by default every member of our teams will be mixed up with someone else and, based on Velvet’s challenge, every airbus team is given the same task. So just show us two more adventures and you’re done. Given how short most chapters are (Chapter Eight is a mere six pages) and the fact that we’ve got twenty-one of them overall, that’s not much of a hardship. As it stands this is… weird. Why Velvet? Why, out of eight separate characters — two of which are team leaders and seemingly more of a main character than she is, as least two others who we know next to nothing about — does she get the extra time and attention? It’s like if RWBYJNR underwent a test but we only heard about Jaune and Blake’s experience, with Jaune dropped halfway through the chapter and everything else is told through Blake’s PoV. Like yeah, that’s technically fine, we can assume they all completed the same task, and Blake is great! But it’s still weird when you’ve got seven other characters to balance.

Not to mention missing out on everything else that I assumed we’d get answers to. Velvet obviously never found Yatsuhashi since we were never given a test section where they were together. How did Yatsuhashi deal with the panic he was struggling with when we left him? Did Fox have to rely on someone else to get him a relic since he couldn’t see them? What does Coco think about all this??

We might get flashbacks at some point, but right now we’re starting Chapter Seven having skipped all of this including, as Scarlet points out, the immediate emotional aftermath. I don’t really care about another Beacon Brigade meeting, I care about the shocking change that was thrown at our characters and changed the whole dynamic of this school… but apparently we’re moving on.

As said, Scarlet is sad there was no party because he, unlike everyone else, is pretty thrilled with the new teams. Yup, they actually changed. At least that’s an engaging development. Especially given how uh… volatile these teams are likely to be. Scarlet now fights with Coco who is no longer the team leader. Instead, it’s a girl named Reese who “didn’t strike [Scarlet] as a born leader. On the other hand, she wasn’t Sun, so she was definitely an upgrade.” Yeah, it becomes clear within a couple of paragraphs that Scarlet straight up hates Sun, rather than simply grappling with frustration over his recent behavior.  

He’s likewise critical of the Beacon Brigade, mentally referring to them as a “pity party” which 1. Yikes, Scarlet, people died and 2. Why is he here? It seems like everyone whose perspective we’ve gotten so far — with the exception of Velvet — thinks these get-togethers are a waste of time, yet they continue to attend them. From a writing standpoint it’s easy to see why you’d want these characters there to prompt personal conflict, but I’m confused as to the in-world reasons for why so many of them are sitting through something they only have criticism for. Is it peer pressure? Loyalty to their friends? Lack of anything better to do? The disgust or indifference for this group is well established, though not what makes all these characters attend it anyway.

We’re at least told that Sun was “dragged” here by Velvet which… okay? Why? Last chapter Velvet didn’t particularly like Sun either, so I suppose she’s simply looking to improve him or something? Honestly, the Velvet we’ve given while seeing the world through her eyes and the Velvet of other chapters seem radically different from one another. By that I don’t mean that Velvet sees herself differently than she really is. An example of that would be Ruby thinking that she’s bad at making friends, when in reality she forms deep bonds incredibly quickly. 

It’s a characteristic that has always existed, obvious to the viewer too, but Ruby simply doesn’t notice it due to her own self-confidence, self-esteem, etc. Velvet, meanwhile, is written as a different character altogether. The Velvet who exists across most of this book comes across as far quite kind and patient, whereas when we’re in her head Velvet is both internally and externally mean. Her attitude flips on and off like a switch. I know I said last time that Sun’s admiration at her avoiding the Ravagers might finally start changing her tune about him, and that could indeed be an explanation for why she brought him back to the Beacon Brigade, but that doesn’t explain the extreme change in how she holds a conversation with him. Remember that last chapter we had “tough love” Velvet who was insulting Sun almost every chance she got. This Velvet speaks calmly and patiently until Sun understands their reasoning behind forming this group… which yeah, is a good thing. I’m glad someone is offering to explain things to Sun instead of just assuming the worst of him, but we’re nevertheless left with very inconsistent characterization. How and why did this change come about? Will Velvet revert back to tough love? Who can say? Certainly not me.

At least Scarlet’s opinions are clear: “just when [he] was ready to get a little distance from [Sun]” he shows up again. He goes on to think about how he just wanted a fresh start which, okay. Fair. That’s partly the point of this whole exercise and but right now Scarlet is convinced that a fresh start isn’t possible “with Sun in charge.” So Sun as an individual seems to be the problem here, not Scarlet’s team as a whole. Which would likewise be fair if I had a better understanding of where such intense opinions were coming from. In this chapter we’re suddenly told that Sun running off isn’t a new occurrence:

“Well, you were always leaving us and going solo. We were never sure why,” Scarlet said. They might not be on the same team now, but his questions hadn’t gone away.

Sage still had questions, too. “Were we not good enough for you?” he asked.

Okay, that definitely sounds like a legitimate flaw that would alienate your team members from you... but when did this happen? Granted, the answer to this might (again) just be, “In After the Fall, Clyde” but we’re nearly a hundred pages into this book and this issue hasn’t come up before now—something that would be very easy to accomplish when each chapter is changing perspectives. Upon reflection, Sun is doing things semi-solo in a lot of the main series, but that never came across as anything other than an easy writing choice to me. Meaning, Sun originally existed as a faunus friend for Blake, someone outside of Team RWBY to get involved in the White Fang fight. Introducing him as a single character is easier, having him meet with Blake alone makes sense, etc. Not only is the concept of teams existing as a single unit that always does everything together ridiculous, but Neptune was clearly meant to exist as a representation of the rest of the team without having to write three distinct characters alongside Sun every time he comes on screen. Sun is solo on the docks. Sun is at the cafeteria with Neptune. Sun infiltrates the White Fang with Blake. Sun eavesdrops on Team RWBY with Neptune. In the main series I never got the sense that Sun was avoiding his team, only that he had a life outside of his team and that his team was otherwise represented through one guy instead of three. Three wouldn’t have worked for most of these scenes. 

All of which isn’t to say that Sun didn’t avoid his team — I’m not claiming Scarlet is lying — only that I’m not convinced we’ve seen that flaw. Which is incredibly common in RWBY. Characters will make quite significant statements and the viewer/reader is left wondering when this thing happened, or why the contradictions we can easily see in the story aren’t acknowledged. If Sun, as leader, has a habit of ditching his friends, both leaving them to function as a team without him and acting as if he doesn’t like spending time with them… then yeah, that’s absolutely something that needs to be addressed. But where is that Sun? Why haven’t I seen that characterization? Every time they’re together his team avoids him (Scarlet being a perfect example). Even Sun baffled by the accusations.

How could he not know? Scarlet wondered.

I don’t know either! This certainly seems to be a misunderstanding, but oddly the one person who can shed some light on the miscommunication doesn’t speak. Sun looks to Neptune in his confusion which makes perfect sense because: Hey, best friend! The guy I do everything with and who functions as clear evidence that I’m not always going solo like Scarlet claims, can you explain what’s going on here? We might have gotten an exchange where Neptune points out that spending time with him doesn’t equal spending time with the whole team, Scarlet and Sage feel left out, and that’s absolutely a claim that would stand up within the canon… but Neptune says nothing. Sun is simply accused of being a horrible leader who doesn’t want anything to do with his team, despite there being very little basis for this in the text. All we’ve got is him leaving with Blake which, as I’ve explained, is something he does need to apologize for. But that’s the conflict we’ve seen, not this broad, wishy-washy claim that Sun is an all around bad person.

What it comes down to is that Scarlet’s disdain is apparently rooted in more than just a single action of Sun’s, it’s apparently a pattern of behavior that he takes issue with, but I haven’t seen him be a particularly bad leader/friend lately. Or, I should say, certainly no worse than everyone else around him, given that this entire group does what they want and insults one another on a regular basis. Sun isn’t an exception in that. Both the book and this conversation feels like an attack on Sun’s character, not the event we know he needs to redeem himself for. When Blake left, Team RWY didn’t speak ad nauseum about how horrible a person she is, not talented enough to fight with them, incapable of doing anything right…  insults that are separate from the issue at hand. The mistakes we’ve seen Sun make aren’t aligning with the complaints other characters have about him, but nor is the story acknowledging that his friends might be biased or simply wrong. Basically, like Velvet’s character, it’s a confusing, inconsistent mess.

And if it feels like I’m repeating myself every chapter it’s because the book is repeating itself every chapter. How many times are we going to tell the reader who awful Sun is? We’re nearly a hundred pages in, folks. 

I’ve been getting very ahead of myself though. Before we delve into Sun’s apology and the resulting confessions, let’s quickly lay out the new teams. Yatshuhashi and Neptune have ended up together, which explains a certain scene that I know is coming later. I figured that the entirety of CFVYSSSN was conducting their investigation together and some cross team duos came about. Turns out they’re actually part of a team now. It’s an interesting premise! Too bad I know it’s heading in the worst possible direction.

Also, everyone already has color names. That’s the true evidence for non-random assignments! The instructors would never come up with enough color related terms otherwise lol. 

“Oh brilliant headmaster, why did you choose to put me on this team? Was it because I worked so well with this peer of mine? Or does my semblance compliment another’s?”

“No, kid. Your name just happens to start with an ‘F’ and we needed one to get an abridged version of ‘Forest.’”

“…ah. I see. One more thing, sir.”

“Yes?”

“I’d like to transfer to a less stupid institution.”

These conversations had to have happened. 

Velvet has been paired with Octavia as well as another Beacon hating student named Nebula. No surprise there. Then, just to make sure we don’t go more than a few paragraphs without insulting Sun, we’re told that “poor Sage” is still “stuck with him.” Sage is now the team leader, another choice that Scarlet doesn’t understand. Indeed, he actually says that this is “proof of the utter randomness of the exercise.” I’m both inclined to agree (in the sense that, as said, managing all these team aspects intentionally is nearly impossible) and also point out that by all intents and purposes Jaune should have read as an idiotic choice too. “How can you say that, Clyde? Jaune showed astounding leadership during his own initiation!” No he didn’t. Jaune noticed that a scorpion’s tail was loose, yelled out a generic call to action, Pyrrha figured out what to do, and then he told Nora to finish it off. Jaune said they needed to help get across the gap and help them in the first place (no duh) but Nora is the one who figures out how. It’s really not much, especially compared to things like spending most of his initiation stuck in trees and having no idea how to wield his sword. If Jaune can be made leader Sage should absolutely be given the chance. Everyone should be given the chance compared to the guy who became team leader without knowing what a landing strategy was. 

Scarlet concludes all this by saying that “Sun didn’t seem bothered in the slightest by not being the boss,” but remember, when a character is already inclined to think the worst of someone, their assumptions about their emotions aren’t necessarily accurate. We won’t know until/if we get back into Sun’s head whether he’s truly indifferent to these changes or not. Not that Scarlet needs any such confirmation. He decides that Sun “probably didn’t care who was in charge because he wasn’t going to listen, anyway.”

This is still so confusing to me. Did the rest of team SSSN tell Sun not to leave and he blew him off? Am I forgetting a time recently where he made his team do something they didn’t agree with? If not, where is this ‘Sun doesn’t listen to anyone’ criticism coming from? Even if we establish that it’s true — perhaps supported by the free spirit personality Sun wields, though that’s not the same thing as ignoring orders — why is he the only one getting heat for it? Coco doesn’t listen to anyone either. She’s out here metaphorically flipping Rumpole off to conduct an investigation that Sage and Scarlet didn’t seem to agree with, but Sun, trying to integrate everyone into Vacuan culture, is the one who abandons everyone to do what he wants? 

But this is normal for RWBY. A flaw is a flaw until it’s applied to the character this story supports, then it becomes something to praise instead. In some respects, this is even more frustrating to experience in the novel because unlike in the webseries, there’s plenty of time here to explain a character’s opinions, show us their memories, lay out the nuance in these relationships, all the techniques that would help convince the reader of a difference in behavior when actions seem pretty identical at first glance… yet here we are, not utilizing that time or, when we are, providing inconsistent information. There have been precious few moments in this novel where I’ve felt like I have a firm handle on a protagonist: what their motivations are, what actions they’ve taken in response to that, how those actions have been received, and whether that reception is justified. 

Honestly, the most consistent aspect of this novel is how closely it aligns with the webseires: both texts don’t make good internal sense and leave me scratching my head over what I’m supposed to take away from the story, let alone whether that takeaway makes sense based on what I’ve been shown.  

But I promised you all Sun’s apology. Let’s just chuck out the whole thing:

“Here we go again with the Beacon Brigade stuff,” Sun muttered.

“Excuse me?” Velvet frowned. “I thought you came back here to apologize.”

Scarlet laughed. How could she even believe that? “Sun’s pretty bad at apologies.”

“I can apologize!” Sun’s tail swept back and forth.

“Go on, then.” Scarlet said, prompting him.

Sun put his hands into his pockets and looked down. “I’m sorry I said all those mean things and stormed out of here last time,” he said quickly.

“Thank you—” Velvet began.

Sun lifted his head. “But I was only trying to help you understand how elitist this group looks to everyone else.”

Scarlet rolled his eyes. He leaned back to watch the show.

I’m going to fall back on a list for this one.

1. As said in the past, I’m well aware that a story needn’t show us every scene but should rather provide information that allows us to extrapolate things based on the context and basic logic. e.g. “I haven’t read a scene yet where these characters brush their teeth, but I can assume it’s happening and we just don’t see it because that’s incidental to the plot and would (theoretically) be boring.” In fact, a story that provides too much information—be it in world building, characterization, every detail of the current event—will often have failed in one of its core intentions: entertainment. I get that. However, it feels like more often than not RWBY struggles to pinpoint which moments should be shown and which should be relegated off screen. I, for one, would have liked to see this conversation between Velvet and Sun. Not because a conversation inviting him to another Beacon Brigade meeting is inherently exciting, but because we’ve been given a context wherein such a conversation is significant for both of their developments. Velvet was incredibly critical of Sun last chapter. Now she’s “dragged him” back to this meeting. Is it because she’s changed her tune about him, or because she hopes to change him further? That’s important. Sun, last we saw, was digging his heels in regarding the meetings, the new teams, and the refugees’ overall approach to living at Shade. Now, Velvet tosses out that he “came back here to apologize.” What changed Sun’s mind and got him to admit he overstepped? Or is Velvet wrong in her assumption about what he intended to do? This story is character driven—we’ve gotten very little action thus far, none of which has been integrated into the emotional stakes—yet consistently the story fails to answer questions like, “What does this character want?” “What made them change their mind about this?” and “Do we trust their perspective and interpretation of events?” Like skipping out on everyone else’s reinitiation, it’s impossible to get invested in the “development” of characters when we’re always unclear about where they started, where they’re heading, and what in the world happened to enact any change we see between chapters. 

2. Similarly, we’re told that “Sun’s pretty bad at apologies.” Did anyone else know this prior to Scarlet announcing it to the group (the reader)? Yes, Sun has yet to apologize for leaving with Blake, but that is, as I’ve stated above, one event that is not necessarily indicative of a behavioral trend. I’d much rather have known a Sun across the webseries and this book who consistently demonstrates an inability to admit when he’s wrong, not simply be told that by a character when it becomes relevant to the scene. Or, at the very least, allow our time with characters like Scarlet to provide that information in a more persuasive, fulfilling manner. Maybe he thinks about all the times Sun has let him down and then refused to acknowledge it. Maybe we get another flashback to a similar event that this is reminding Scarlet of. Maybe he and Sun actually talk and we get a sense of how this opinion formed. Something other than an announcement simply informing us of an impactful character flaw that we haven’t seen up until now.

3. Especially given that Sun does apologize and it’s not a bad apology either, it’s just that he’s chosen to apologize for the things he’s actually sorry for: saying mean stuff and storming out. It takes a lot to admit that two of his responses weren’t appropriate and there’s enough specificity and sincerity here that Velvet immediately accepts it with a “Thank you.” Where Sun arguably messes up is in continuing his apology with a “But…” yet here I’d like to reiterate that the simplistic advice we find on tumblr isn’t applicable to every situation. Meaning, I’ve seen a lot of posts lately about apologies, reminding people that it should be about acknowledging how you hurt someone regardless of your intentions, not using your intentions as an excuse for your actions. I agree with that. I likewise think Sun did this. He admits that he hurt people despite not meaning to and he owns up to that, even if he does so in a quickly, clearly uncomfortable manner. Acknowledging that you hurt someone despite your intentions doesn’t mean that your intentions can never be brought up again. If I accidentally insult someone in the act of confronting them about, say, destructive behavior, I should indeed apologize for that… but that doesn’t mean the issue itself—the destructive behavior—is forever off the table. It’s an important topic and Sun likewise has an important topic he’s trying to broach again, this time in a more respectful manner. Sun is sorry for the cruel things he said, he’s sorry for storming out, he’s sorry for how he responded to things… but he’s not sorry for his opinion about the situation itself, and that’s fair. Apologizing for your behavior does not require that you suddenly agree with the person you’ve hurt. Indeed, it’s only Sun challenging the group again—this time in a non-insulting, non-storming out manner—that the group itself realizes that they haven’t been clear about their own intentions. The issue was never whether the group is a good thing or a bad thing, but rather that the group didn’t bother to explain to Sun why they were doing this in the first place, leaving him to come to his own conclusions—and then getting upset when those conclusions turned out to be inaccurate. Up until this moment, no one in this room is inclined to spend time with Sun, let alone ensure that he has an accurate view of what this group means, so is it any surprise that he took things at face value? The group who named themselves after Beacon doesn’t want to be a part of Shade. That’s what it looks like on the surface and thus, that’s what he assumed. 

4. Despite the complexity of this situation—by far the best Myers has managed thus far in this novel—Scarlet doesn’t acknowledge any of it. Not the group’s behavior towards Sun that resulted in a lack of understanding, not Sun’s understandable assumptions, not his inappropriate response to them, nor his apology. Scarlet said Sun was bad at apologies and Sun just proved him wrong… but acknowledging that requires likewise acknowledging everything in the above paragraph. Scarlet doesn’t want to think about what Sun is apologizing for vs. concerns he still has, he just hears a “But” and “rolled his eyes" to “watch the show.” What’s perhaps the most strange about all this — and the easiest to pinpoint as a potential problem — is that Scarlet agrees with Sun. He thinks the Beacon Brigade is a waste of time too! In another story I would expect to either a) have Scarlet grudgingly admit that Sun had a point, helping to lead him to some realizations about his bias, or b) have the story itself acknowledge that Scarlet is interested only in criticizing Sun no matter what he might actually say or do. If we boil the conversation down we’ve got:

[Scarlet is critical of the Beacon Brigade]

[Sun is critical of the Beacon Brigade]

[Scarlet ignores that tie between them]

and

[Scarlet thinks that Sun isn’t capable of apologizing]

[Sun apologizes]

[Scarlet ignores this]

This trend is likewise seen at the start of the meeting when Scarlet goes, “The gall of it. It was so obvious what Sun was doing—he was practically gleeful to be rid of his teammates” in response to Sun not seeming devastated by the changes. It’s the same situation we got last chapter with Velvet, wherein one character’s interpretation of a situation — Sun doesn’t look sad enough to my liking — doesn’t necessarily match up with reality. Indeed, when Scarlet throws out another accusation we’re shown precisely how inaccurate his perspective is:

“I guess it’s not hard to move on when you’re always moving, huh?” He sat up straight and looked at Sun. “Just how ecstatic are you to be moving on from us? Be honest. While we’re at it, maybe you can explain why.”

Sun was taken aback. “What?”

Sun is shocked by the idea that he’s “ecstatic” over these changes because he’s clearly not. There’s so much miscommunication among these characters and, thus far, incredibly little done to resolve it. This conversation explaining the Beacon Brigade to Sun is the major exception and, as a result, is one of the only worthwhile scenes. I feel like our characters have finally changed in some way. Yet to continually balance out any enjoyable bits, Scarlet’s bias stands in contrast to this improvement we see with Sun. It’s even more obvious when we factor in Scarlet’s revelation about Nolan in the same conversation. Despite witnessing nothing nearly as concrete as an apology when he said apologies weren’t something Sun was good at, Scarlet comes to the conclusion that he had been “underestimating Nolan all this time” and seems, from a single comment, to form a much higher opinion of him. The kicker is that not only does this moment not jumpstart a similar revelation regarding Sun, but is rather used as another segue into criticism of him: “Just like Sun had been underestimating the rest of them. But would Sun ever see that?”

Sun is indeed blind to some things, but so is Scarlet. Arguably more-so. At least here we see Sun listening to the others and flat out admitting that he was wrong. The confusing nature of Scarlet’s anger — is he upset about the Blake incident or something that seems to exist ‘off screen’? — coupled with his inability to acknowledge the improvements Sun is striving to make when they’re literally happening right in front of him, makes for a frustrating read. So as always: Yay flawed characters? It’s just too bad that this cast seems to be made up primarily of flaws and are doing incredibly little to improve themselves. Unless you factor in things like Velvet’s randomly changing personality.

As said though, I think the group does a good job explaining their perspective to Sun, largely because they bother to take a moment to connect with him, see how and why he came to these conclusions, and respectfully lay out their own perspective. Velvet explains that names are important, a part of your identity, and thus when they came to Vacuo they wanted a new name to reflect their new life. “Beacon was the obvious choice.” By the end of the scene Sun freely admits his mistake — “Maybe I was wrong,” Sun said — but still maintains that his misunderstanding stemmed from something. All of these (somewhat convoluted) explanations involving names, identity, belonging, moving on, but keeping their past is in no way obvious when you just hear the name Beacon Brigade. “‘Well, you’ve been sending a mixed message with this group, at least to Vacuans,’ Sun said stubbornly” except that “stubbornly” is uncharitable because he’s right. Not about the Beacon Brigade being a useless waste of time like we saw a few chapters back, but about the name and meeting sending the wrong message without that complicated context attached. The name alone has no connection to Vacuo. The name sounds like they’re refusing to move on. The name is also weirdly about being an army despite this being a therapy group, but we’ve already mentioned that. The statements “Your reasons for having this group and naming it this are valid,” “It’s not your fault that the Vacuans are refusing to accept you,” and “On the surface that name and these meetings send an unintended bad message that doesn’t help your already iffy social status” can and all do exist simultaneously.

The fact that Sun is using this opportunity to understand where the Beacon Brigade is coming from, but the Beacon Brigade is continually insisting that his perspective has no merit, just reinforces that the only one undergoing any growth here is Sun. Which, coming into this novel, I would have said is justified. He abandoned his team! He followed Blake! He listened in on her private conversations! He hasn’t even apologized to his team yet! Sun obviously has things to work on. But the expectation of him being the most in need of improvement rests on those around him being more level-headed, empathetic, talented people than he is… and they’re not. In this novel, the people Sun has hurt can be just as stubborn and cruel, making just as many iffy decisions. So when we’ve got a whole school of incredibly flawed teens, with one individual clearly striving to do better while the others endlessly pile on him… uh, I’m in that guy’s corner. At least I understand how Sun’s development is coming about, unlike Velvet. At least Sun admits when he’s made mistakes, unlike Coco and Scarlet. At least Sun hasn’t done anything close to the horror that I know is coming with Fox and Yatsuhashi…

So yes, to say that this scene and its resulting implications is complicated is an understatement. For the love of God, let’s move on.

We get another flashback, this time to Team SSSN arriving in Vacuo to meet with Headmaster Theodore and Rumpole. Recall that we were shown the exact same situation with Team CFVY… but wow is Theodore different here. Previously, I praised his compassion and ability to inspire new students because in that scene it was clear he was thrilled to have Team CFVY joining his school. Theodore is not thrilled to accept Team SSSN and I’m honestly unclear as to why. Both did well in the Vytal Tournament, which is something Rumpole apparently looked over when evaluating the students. Both participated in — and survived — the Battle of Beacon. Both are here now, hoping for a new place to call home, yet the reception SSSN receives is distinctly frosty.

Granted, this is at least partly because we’re still seeing things through Scarlet’s perspective, but that doesn’t cover everything. Theodore starts the flashback by reminding them that he believes “Actions speak louder than words,” to which Sun wholeheartedly agrees. Rather than acknowledging that they have similar outlooks, Rumpole tells him to be quiet — “[she] put a finger over her lips” — and when Sun doesn’t seem to notice the gesture Scarlet interprets this as him being “cocky.” That… doesn’t really line up. Regardless, Theodore is interested to know why Sun didn’t attend Vacuo if he grew up here, seeming to read that choice as some sort of insult towards him and his school: “He exchanged a look with Professor Rumpole. Then he looked sternly at Scarlet, Sage, and Nexpeptune.” When Sun explains that he wanted to see more of the world before settling down, Theodore and Rumpole jump on the word choice.    

Sage snickered. Rumpole’s eyes flashed gold.

“So you think of Vacuo as ‘settling’?” Theodore asked.

Wait. 

Excuse me, educator, but the phrase “settling down” is not comparable to “settling.” The former means to live a quieter, stable life usually after, yes, traveling the world for a time. It has few (if any) negative connotations. In fact, it’s quite positive. The implication is that you’ve been to many places, seen a great deal, experienced much of what life has to offer you, and now you’re choosing this place as your home. It’s also framed after a sought-after end goal. The weary hero longs to settle down but is unable to due to their quest. Settling down with friends and family is the prize given at the end of a story. It’s good. In contrast, “settling” for something does have a number of negative implications attached to it. It suggests that it’s not what you want, but you’re willing to put up with it at the end of the day given that you have no other choice. It’s second or third best, at most, but you’ll tolerate it. The concept of settling for something is insulting because it says that given different circumstances, you never would have chosen it.

Sun says he’s “settling down” in Vacuo; this is the home he’s choosing. Theodore and Rumpole both interpret this as “settling;” he’s choosing them only because he has to. But why? Where did this interpretation come from? Schools were a mix of people from different kingdoms long before Salem shook things up, so why is Sun getting heat for going to Mistral? Especially with the rather persuasive justification of, ‘I’d like to see more than just my backyard, thanks’? Are Vacuans so xenophobic that the mere act of one of their own leaving for a short time makes them an outsider? Why is this never explained then? Why doesn’t Sun, the Vacuan, understand this and seek to defend himself?

I’m still so confused, folks! 

Things just go downhill from there. Sun asks if he can call Theodore “Theo,” which doesn’t go over well.

“No!” barked Theodore and Rumpole at the same time.

“Right. Sorry. Professor—”

“Headmaster.”

This is unnecessarily strict. As someone who has known a number of “You must refer to me as ‘Doctor’” people, I have never heard a single one “bark” out a negative in response to asking about using a different address. They respectfully correct a student because instructors — and people in general — should strive to be respectful. Then Theodore nitpicks about “Professor” vs. “Headmaster.” A look back at what I read does show a consistency of students addressing him as “Headmaster,” but if that’s a preference why not just say that? As it is, the curt correction feels like he’s trying to limit Sun’s options, especially when we’ve heard others like Ozpin be referred to as “Professor.” It’s not exactly a weird mistake.

Then Theodore goes,

“And which of you is the leader again? I know it’s not Neptune, but you can tell that just by looking at him.” Neptune’s jaw dropped.

What is wrong? With this cast?? Theodore was a splendid Headmaster whom I loved a few chapters back, now suddenly — as soon as he’s talking to Team SSSN — he’s become downright mean. What the absolute hell was that comment? “You can tell that just by looking at him”? That’s so insulting! He’s another Velvet, turning basic compassion on and off depending on who he’s speaking to, yet I still remain in the dark as to why everyone in this novel hates Sun, to the point where even his teammates bear the brunt of that negativity. Because, you know, when Sun says he’s the leader,

Rumpole was momentarily speechless.

Hold on. Let’s take a hot second to summarize what Sun has done in this conversation thus far, AKA everything that exists to form such a horrible opinion of him that Rumpole would be “speechless” at the thought of him leading. Sun has:

Agreed with Headmaster Theodore regarding a life philosophy.

Says he grew up in Vacuo.

Admits that he wants to settle down here, making Shade his permanent home.

Asked to address the Headmaster as “Theo.”

Apologies for his presumptiveness.

Correctly changes his address to “Headmaster Theodore.”

Explains that he was on a “special assignment” last semester and that’s why he wasn’t at Haven. Scarlet mutters that the assignment was given “by himself.”

So Sun is a native who’s heart has “grown fonder” for his kingdom and who agrees with Theodore’s outlook. He is willing to apologize and change his behavior as instructed. The only marks against him so far are 1. Being overly friendly with an authority figure and 2. The implication that he simply ran off without justification, though thus far it’s Sun’s word against Scarlet’s. That should hardly count until the accusation is proven one way or the other. 

So Sun is implied to be an unfit leader because he was friendly? That outweighs positives like being from Vacuo and taking direction?

Everyone is really just out to paint Sun as The Worst Person Ever, huh? Here’s your trophy, bud. 

After this stunning display ranging from indifference to what appears to be outright disgust, Theodore says that they can stay on through what’s essentially a trial period. “Until you wash out, or he changes his mind,” Rumpole explained. “Frankly, that happens a lot.” Again, Team CFVY didn’t receive such a threat. Theodore concludes the meeting by requiring a written account of the White Fang attack, something Sun is nervous about. “You do know how to write?” Theodore asks, just casually tossing in a final insult. Scarlet reassures him that they’ll help Sun with the “big words.”

Wow. The farther I get into this story the less surprised I am that the fandom has been hissing at it like an angry pack of cats. Or at least, a solid chunk of the fandom here on tumblr. I can’t recall if I mentioned this in an earlier Chapter, but at the start of this project I popped onto Goodreads and was somewhat shocked at Before the Dawn’s 4.16 rating, accompanied by numerous glowing reviews. Were we given different copies of the book? Then again, I often feel as if I’m watching a different show than the fandom talks up. I too would love to be watching a gripping, emotionally compelling, complex RWBY story of the sort that I’ve heard about. Ah well.

Back to the text at hand.

It’s the next day and everyone is attending Professor Rowena Sunnybrook’s Weapons Training Class. I briefly grapple with the image of Rowena Ravenclaw at Sunnybrook Farm. Then I consider how close “Rowena” is to “Rebecca.” Then I remember that in the stories Rebecca’s middle name was Rowena. Then I move on with my life.

(How badly am I dating myself if I bring up Shirley Temple?) 

There’s a sandpit set up in the middle of that classroom which “had always seemed odd to Scarlet. If you wanted to fight in sand, why not just go outside? There was plenty of sand in this place.” Honest answer: ease of access and control over your environment. It’s the same reason why you’d take students to an indoor track rather than just telling them to run anywhere there’s space outside. There may be qualities to the sand that make it a better practice tool — less coarse, no rocks hidden underneath — and it’s presented in an accessible, otherwise safe classroom. No one is wasting time finding a spot outside. No sand storms will suddenly interrupt an exercise. Rowena and the students alike aren’t fighting against the wind, or the sun, the grimm, or anything else they might have to pay attention to. Given the tech of this world, there may even be cameras in the classroom that allows instructors to record and revisit their students’ practice. Unless you’re looking to prepare them for the unpredictability of the real world in a given lesson, this is just an all around easier choice. A pain to set up, perhaps, but easier once the pit is in place.

So Scarlet is, per the trend, in somewhat of a bad mood. He says he’s excited to see what class is like with his new teammates, but he doesn’t understand why you’d have a sand pit inside (in a world where competitions like the Vytal Festival exist…) and he likewise doesn’t get why anyone would fight on sand if they didn’t have to. But… you do have to? Scarlet just got done reminding everyone that they live in a desert now. He doesn’t get much of a say in whether he’s fighting on sand or not, so he’d better learn how to do it. I don’t think the grimm and occasional baddie is going to let Scarlet choose the setting before a fight begins.

Scarlet is also exhausted, which I can definitely understand. I’m tired just reading about the week they’ve been through. We get a tiny glimpse into the Chapter That Never Was where he thinks that “Spending hours in an underground Dust mine fighting a herd of Jackalopes wasn’t exactly a fun time.” Too bad we didn’t get to read about it. Though I do quite like the tiny insight into Scarlet we get here. He’s extra tired because he was “staying up so late to clean his clothes and shine his shoes.” Yeah, I could say something about implied-to-be gay guys and their obsession with clothes, though considering that Scarlet’s sexuality is nonexistent in this text or the main series, it feels disingenuous to make any claims about stereotyping. Besides, that may be a reach even if he was confirmed as queer. Rather, I like the line because it can be read in different ways, one of which is further confirmation that Scarlet seems to be a straight-laced, eager to please authority sort of guy. He doesn’t like having a spontaneous team leader. He hopes that Theodore will see his worth over Sun’s. Scarlet already comes across as the sort of student who would put additional time into shining his shoes while everyone else gets some much needed sleep. Appearances matter to him.

This entire time Sunnybrook has been lecturing, though seemingly not about anything important. Scarlet is surprised that they haven’t started an activity yet. The stalling is explained when Rumpole shows up, stomping into the classroom and grousing that Sunnybrook started without her. She rightfully points out, “You’re late, and this is my class.”

Ooh, Scarlet thought. Sunnybrook just went from chatty to catty.

…No? Beyond my ardent love of writers insisting that women are “catty” whenever they show an ounce of assertiveness or self-respect (/s), how is Sunnybrook being “catty” when she’s literally just stating two facts? Rumpole is late. This is her class. Both those things are true. There is an implied criticism there, but it’s hardly undeserved. If anyone is close to being “catty” right now it’s Rumpole, arriving late without an apology and criticizing Sunnybrook for doing her job in Rumpole’s absence.

Which begins the very strange read of watching Rumpole give an excellent lesson while the story characterizes her as the bad guy (we’ve been down this road before...). 

Outside of that rude entrance, I don’t think Rumpole does much wrong here, but it becomes clear by the end of the chapter that she’s someone we’re meant to dislike. 

She begins her lesson by pointing out that “Before you got here, some of you were trained to rely on your teams. But what do you do when your team is gone and you’re on your own?” Yes! Excellent point! Just like Scarlet needs to know how to fight on sand while living in a desert, every huntsmen needs to know how to defend themselves solo in case they’re separated from their team, their team is knocked out, or they’re killed. Wasn’t Sun alone at the start of this novel? Didn’t Ruby fall through the floor into a White Fang hideout by herself? Wasn’t Blake out in the woods alone when she encountered Adam? In each case they either sought out additional help or help thankfully arrived in time — you should strive to have backup — but in the case that there’s none to be found, how well can you defend yourself? It honestly shocks me that these talented, experienced fighters so often reject learning something that’s so obviously useful, whether we’re talking about Ruby telling Ozpin they already know how to fight, or Scarlet scoffing at fighting on sand in Vacuo.

Rumpole also says that they need to learn how to fight without their weapons.

“The room filled with whispers. Fight without weapons? In Weapons Training? Is she kidding?”

See, this is the kind of nonsense I’m talking about. Are you telling me that none of these fighters have ever lost their weapon in battle? It’s never broken (Blake)? That they can’t reach the basic conclusion of their fists being a weapon too? Too often RWBY introduces entirely unnecessary reactions that don’t fit with the characters’ intelligence, experience, and overall world view. They say and do ridiculous things in the context of their fictional lives. I could bring up a Volume 8 “Divide” example, but I’m trying to keep these recaps spoiler free. For those of you who have seen the premiere though, you likely know what Ruby moment I’m talking about. 

So the whole class is upset for an incredibly stupid reason. Scarlet has gone from his usual grumpy to downright pissed. Things only go from bad to worse when Rumpole chooses Velvet to fight Nebula.

“Oh, come on!” Coco said, intervening for her former teammate.

What exactly is the problem here? According to Scarlet it’s that they’re on the same team. “This is so not cool,” he whispers to Coco. He believes they “shouldn’t be forced to fight each other,” but why? He admits freely that they’ve all fought against peers before. What do they think this is? It’s just another sparing session. Apparently the distinction is “with the intent of beating them, especially in front of an audience.” So when sparing you normally don’t intend to win? Or if you spar no one can be there to see you do it? Both of those defeat the purpose of sparing in the first place: to improve, partly by receiving feedback. 

Arslan provides a bit of clarification with “They should not fight each other. We’re teammates, and we have to learn to work together. This just undermines that goal” but that is a staggeringly narrow view of what it means to “work together.” Frankly, a worrisome one too. Are team relationships truly so fragile that they can’t handle a little competition? You wouldn’t think so given the continuing message of teams as friends, family, and coworkers — those relationships are rock solid — yet Arslan seems to believe that a single exercise would undermine all that. There might have been some justification if she’d specifically brought up the problem of fighting new team members, prior to forming those bonds, with the added difficulty of working with people who might not think much of you yet… but she doesn’t. No one here seems to think that teammates should fight, period.

So then what do we make of Ruby vs. Oscar in Volume 5? That’s almost the exact same setup, with two teammates fighting one another, one of whom is new and hasn’t formed a solid bond, in front of an audience, with an instructor — Ozpin — evaluating their performance. Do we honestly believe that because Ruby got frustrated for a hot second that any care she had towards Oscar evaporated?

Is Team CRDL incapable of fighting beside Pyrrha in the Battle of Beacon because she absolutely kicked their ass in class? Does Weiss grow to hate Winter because she beat her during training? Of course not.  There is something to be said for an institution that constantly pits teammates against each other in a manner that interferes with the ability to form those bonds… but this isn’t it. This is a single exercise for students who are currently shocked that they’d ever need to fight solo/without a weapon, so they clearly need the lesson, yet their reactions are extreme. Coco yelling, Scarlet muttering about how bad this is, both of them praising Arslan like she stood up against an actual attack on Velvet — “Good for you, Arslan,” Coco whispered. Now there’s a leader for you, Scarlet thought. — and Yatsuhashi is going so far as to stand in front of Velvet to protect her. They’re all acting like Rumpole told them to engage in a death match, not do the exact thing they’ve come to this school for: learn how to fight.

So yeah, that all is exceptionally weird imo and feeds into the general sense that Rumpole is the supposed to be the bad guy here, but it’s not done persuasively. She’s oh so evilly making them fight one another, evilly smiling about it, evilly telling Coco that that’s enough… though none of this is actually, you know, evil. The closest we get is a moment when Rumpole “haughtily” says that “In the heat of battle, a weak teammate can be worse than the most powerful enemy,” which frankly comes out of nowhere given that she’s responding to Arslan’s criticism of the test as the whole. If you say, ‘We shouldn’t fight other because we need to learn to work together’ and your teacher responds with ‘Weak teammates are more dangerous than your enemy,’ that’s very nearly a non sequitur. Yeah, the general subjects of teammates and fighting are the same, but otherwise these points seem to belong to different conversations. What Rumpole says in the context she says it is nearly nonsensical and serves only to make her look cruel. She tosses out a startling truth unprompted, leaving the reader going, “Wow! Rumpole is awful!” unless they’re inclined to consider whether any of that makes sense.

That moment with Coco did catch my attention though, simply because we’re told that Rumpole’s eyes flashed and then Coco gasped, cluing Scarlet into the fact that she’s not as “unshakable as she usually let on.” That’s another extreme reaction to a tame event, as well as the second time this chapter that we’ve heard about Rumpole’s flashing eyes, the first occurring in the flashback when she was displeased with Sun. So perhaps it’s something involving her Semblance? I’d look it up, but I kind of what to be surprised in the next 173 pages. Got to find things to look forward to in all this lol. 

One the group realizes that they do actually have to fight one another (the horror) Velvet and Nebula give up their weapons. As expected, Nebula jokes about how she hasn’t lost anything, “What good’s a camera in a fight, anyway?” which produces applause from other Shade students. Right, because Velvet got into a top academy and survived the Fall of Beacon without a weapon. I’m not sure if this is just bullying for the sake of bullying, outside the bounds of logic, or if these students, living in their magic-infused, crazy tech world, legitimately can’t reach the conclusion that Velvet uses photos as a weapon, even if they can’t figure out how. Either way, it’s not endearing, but at least this time my reaction aligns with what the text is aiming for. Rumpole tells them to “Save it for the arena” with “a hard edge in her voice,” but of course no one comments on when she sticks up for Velvet. Asking her to complete a simple exercise results in fury, but telling her own students to leave the newcomer alone results in silence. Seems about right.

The fight finally begins and it’s a tad underwhelming. There’s nothing specifically wrong with it—nothing that stands out on first read through anyway—it just not a particularly compelling action sequence. Any interesting tidbits are seen in the dialogue instead. Nebula continually establishes herself as another Mean Girl character, taunting Velvet with how she’s “been wanting to do this for a while” and how “fun” it is to fight her. The spectators, specifically Scarlet and Coco, comment on how Velvet is able to use her semblance outside of the hard light weaponry. Here, she draws on moves from “Pyrrha Nikos, Yang Xiao Long, and even Sun.”

Pyrrha 😭😭😭😭

Why the “even” though? 😒

Coco summarizes her style by saying that “Velvet may fight like a lot of different people, but no one else fights like Velvet.” I quite like that. Velvet is a living embodiment of being more than just the sum of your parts.

As the fight continues Nebula’s taunts grow more vicious, saying that she is better than Velvet because “We left Beacon because we knew it was a lost cause.” Beyond that just being a horrific thing to say, I want to ward off any potential comparisons between our Volume 7 conflict and this statement. RWBY might be trying to draw a parallel between the mean student who would abandon her school and the villainous general who would abandon his city (depending on how my Myers knew about upcoming plotlines), but there’s a huge difference between fighting a grimm army and fighting Salem herself with a grimm army. Velvet and the others were absolutely correct to fight for Beacon because they had a shot at taking it back. A slim one, but a shot nonetheless. Volume 7 provided none of that in regards to Team RWBY’s stance.

This remark does its job though and soon after Velvet becomes stuck in the sand, distracted and upset. Rumpole goes full Mean Teacher then, telling them to keep going. In fact, she quickly becomes the only mean person in the room because the formerly feuding teams are all banding together in Velvet’s defense and even Nebula randomly demonstrates honor—

(sorry I had to)—in how she approaches Velvet now: “[she] reached a hand down to help Velvet up.” Rumpole is clearly meant to be the enemy here, uniting friends, bullies, and even Sunnybrook too. Thing is, it’s once again not that bad? I’m not going to pretend that she isn’t harsh. Too harsh for a normal school? Absolutely. Too harsh for a combat school where these students are learning how to defend themselves from monsters and murderers during a war? Ehhh. Rumpole says that Velvet “beat herself” because “You don’t stop fighting until you can’t fight anymore.” That’s true. Within the context of a school exercise where everyone knows they’re safe and can stop the battle at any moment, it feels finished when Velvet gets stuck, but an actual life or death fight? Do we really think Velvet would stop trying to defend herself, passively staring up at her attacker while they do whatever they please with her? Of course not. She’d either find a way out or she’d go down fighting. You’re telling me that students who frequently break apart stone or, in Ruby’s case, blast through steel doors specifically meant to keep people inside can’t punch downwards and free themselves from some sand? Are the pieces of either of their weapons anywhere within reach? Can Velvet trick her attacker, pretending to be down for the count and then lashing out when she gets close? At the very least, as we saw with Sun’s first encounter this novel, can she talk enough to buy herself time until others arrive to help. Obviously there’s no arriving in this structured exercise, but the point is to try. Rumpole is telling them not to stop trying — to treat this exercise seriously (which they haven’t done from the start) — and they’re throwing back that challenging Velvet to get creative is too mean? In the same way that the students shouldn’t be pit against each other 24/7, they shouldn’t be pushed to their limit 24/7 either… but for once class? One lesson? When they know an attack is on the way and have already watched people die?

See, this is why I can’t take this cast seriously as the leaders of this war. When we’ve got scenes like this the characterization — whether intentional or not — is that they’re not nearly as devoted to their and others’ safety as they should be. Such characterization is fine when one group isn’t conducting a secret investigation, the other hasn’t been given licenses early, and both haven’t been through a battle that cost them the lives of numerous friends. But when they have experienced all these things, you have to wonder what they’re doing complaining about a teacher who says, ‘Hey, don’t just roll over and accept defeat.’ 

Eventually Coco, Yatsuhashi, Fox, and Arslan step in front of Velvet to keep the fight from continuing. Yatsuhashi pulls her from the sand and when free “she pushed his hands away.” That’s the other thing: no one seems interested in what Velvet wants. They all speak for her in deciding that she can’t and shouldn’t fight anymore.

As a suggested change, I would have liked this so much more if we have the group uncomfortable with the fight continuing, Velvet insisting that she can keep going, and then she asks them for help. Rumpole never laid down a hard rule that this was a 1v1 fight. That’s the unspoken assumption, yeah, but she speaks far more about them not using their weapons. If Velvet had called for reinforcements, so to speak, and the group had dropped their weapons before entering the sandpit, it would have arguably just been an extension of what they learned in reinitiation: “The only rule is survival.” Allies are right here, why wouldn’t she use them? Friends of Nebula step forward to back her up, Rumpole puts a stop to things before it becomes an all out brawl, she compliments Velvet for bending the rules to her advantage, and reminds everyone that this is why it’s so important to learn to work with their new teams: they’re your lifeline so long as you have them. Honestly though, a RWBY story that doesn’t make everyone over 30 out to be a literal or personal villain? Unrealistic.

What Rumpole does instead is remind them that they have to be prepared for the worst and the unexpected to happen. They no longer have the excuse of “No one could have predicted that”: “We know a threat is out there. We know it’s coming to Vacuo. To not prepare for that eventuality would be irresponsible, dangerous, and naïve.” Exactly! Too bad no one else wants to think about that truth. Instead, Scarlet mentally criticizes her for the “cheap shot” and Coco waylays Sunnybrook to ask if she thinks Rumpole seems alright. Of course, Sunnybrook agrees that she’s being too hard on them. She’s “mean” now and “picking on” Velvet.

It astounds me that these characters are grieving over their murdered friends in one chapter and then going ‘You’re mean to challenge us in training :( ’ the next. Don’t any of them want to defend themselves the next time? Or avenge their lost peers? Whatever other faults RWBY has, I think they did right by Jaune and Ren by making the former (briefly) Cinder obsessed and the latter angry that they’re going to a party rather than training. Going too far in those directions obviously isn’t healthy, but neither is demonizing the instructor trying to keep everyone alive. It’s the same underlying problem as Ironwood’s antagonism in Volume 7: armies and threats of martial law are a problem when there isn’t a justified emergency for them. RWBY has, time and time again, given us that emergency in a variety of ways, so why do the characters act as if they’re living in our world where such measures are extreme? 

It’s a question I’ll never get an answer to, I’m sure. That’s where we leave the cast though, with Scarlet thinking about how “As long as they were here, every day was going to be a bad day in Vacuo.” Fantastically emo ending for this long and frustrating chapter. I am massively behind on my NaNoWriMo challenge thanks to normal RWBY Recaps, but this? This was a substantial boost. If you somehow made it to the end of all this please accept my virtual cookies. 

I’d share the actual gingersnaps I made if that were possible :(

Alright. I’ve kept you all here long enough. Until next time! 💜

[Ko-Fi]