#which tbh doesn't mean anything because this is also how most of my colds and flus go?

[allisonlol]

chuuya dazai and fyodor when reader tries to remove the hickies they gave reader the next day OHKYIGOAHSS

a/n: hiii everyone i have crawled out of my void to offer you this post !! ty to the anon who came up with this wonderful idea. i've missed posting omg and we somehow are so close to 3k despite my inactivity??? slay. shall open reqs again once we get there mwehehe

warnings: slight nsfw

(Chuuya, Dazai, Fyodor) When You Try to Remove Hickeys

Chuuya

he's gonna be the most chill about this tbh

it's your body and if you don't want ppl seeing that on you then that's ur choice!!

however

hiding them is one thing, but that doesn't mean he wants to see you removing them

so yknow that hack where you take a whisk and like,,,twist it over the mark to get rid of it?

yeah so you tried that...and it was actually working until chuuya barged into the room and demanded to know what you were doing

bro is not happy to see the hickies he'd proudly left on you last night being somehow removed by a WHISK

grabs that mf thing and throws it across the room

chuuya's not angry at you, more so frustrated and insecure?? cuz like why would u wanna get rid of them

he's lowkey gonna start pouting tbh. won't say anything else but will glare & give u silent treatment

won't stop until you admit the only reason u removed them is because it was too visible with your work uniform and u didn't want everyone staring smh

insist that he should give you more in areas that people won't see and there's no guarantee y'all won't be late to work <3

Dazai

oh lord

so dazai really loves to mark you up

and last night was no different. your neck was black and blue with hickies

deadass to the point where you nearly had a heart attack when you saw it in the morning

"how am i gonna go to work like this?!" you practically sob to him while he LAUGHS

his only advice is "then don't go" as if both of y'all don't need to have ur asses at the agency in 20 minutes

you check ur phone for the time and when u see this you panic and sprint to your shared bedroom

you try everything you can think of to cover them

first you hastily layer concealer on your neck, to no avail as the marks were too dark

then digging through ur closet for clothes with a high enough neckline to hide it, to which you found none

whole time dazai is leaning against the doorframe, watching ur meltdown with an amused expression

he approaches and helps u up from the floor where u had collapsed with all the clothes strewn around you ☹️

"allow me to pick out something for you to wear" ….oh god

u guys are beyond late at this point so you sigh and accept defeat, to which dazai picks a shirt that of course displays all the marks on your neck

you got lots of stares that day to say the least

Fyodor

surprisingly fyodor doesn't usually leave too many marks on you to begin with

he's got that old fashioned take where it's like "other people don't need to see that and be in our business" if u know what i mean

however, he is also a very possessive man

^so when he gets worked up and does leave hickeys on you, the last thing he wants to see is you trying to hide or remove them

which is exactly what he walked in on u doing today

you were trying the good old "rub an ice cube on it" hack before u had to work

now this mf thinks you have some hidden agenda as to why you wanted them gone

"are you seeing someone else" 💀💀

PLS u didn't realize he had been watching from the doorway and this scares u so bad u drop the ice cube down ur shirt

u start frantically trying to get it out of ur shirt while yelling at him like "i have to work, wtf are u talking about???"

u immediately stop tho when he storms up to u and grabs your face to make you look at him

his face is so cold and unreadable omg it's scary

his eyes shift to the marks on your neck as he traces over them with his fingers

"leave these alone" he says lowly, then adjusts the collar of your shirt so they are partially covered

neither of u will say anything more about it after that, but fyodor sends sigma to secretly follow u to work to make sure that's where ur really going 😓

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @mianqo

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Day 314, and not a whole lot done, just finished up Incredulous, but that's okay since I'm feeling bleh anyway. Any progress is good progress when bleh :)

[comradekatara]

How conscious do you think Katara of Sokka's pile of neurosis surrounding her safety, their father, or the tribe in general?

Basically, how well do you think Katara understands her brother?

[thinks about my own incredibly weird, callous, prodigious, neurotic brother] does anyone truly understand their brother?

just kidding. sort of. i mean, this is a really difficult question to answer, because as i've already stated, sokka doesn't actually understand himself. and katara doesn't really understand other people very well in general. she has a deep, presiding love for humanity that accords her warmth and nobility, but she also has a pretty rigid way of conceptualizing any sort of moral quandary (she is in the eighth grade) and often misinterprets people's motivations and subconscious desires. (very dorothea brooke core)

for example, in "the painted lady," when katara says, "oh, sokka, you really do have a heart!" she's only partially joking, right? like she genuinely doesn't understand how he can be so "cold" and callous." she doesn't understand his point of view at all, she thinks he just doesn't care. and sokka could probably do a better job of explaining his point of view, granted, but i also understand why he's given up trying to reason with her, because she does not listen to him unless they are in grave danger (at which point she forgets that he is her stupid annoying brother and places all her faith in him lol).

so we, as an attentive audience, know that sokka cares about the wellbeing of impoverished villages destroyed by the fire nation, because we remember the first couple episodes wherein he was prepared to die defending his impoverished village that was destroyed by the fire nation, and we also remember his promise to prioritize katara's safety over the war at large, so we are not surprised when he says, "you need me and i'll never turn my back on you" (the sokka thesis statement). but katara doesn't really understand how much she means to sokka, or how sokka thinks, or how sokka sees himself, or how sokka sees their father, or anything beyond what sokka is willing to show her regarding his psyche, which is ultimately very little.

and it's not katara's fault, to be clear. katara is not a bad sister for not attempting to plumb the depths of sokka's twisted mind. even if she wanted to (which, who would tbh. don't look at me) sokka does not let her. being vulnerable with her (truly vulnerable, not just "i can't make things fly around woe is me") would go against sokka's core programming. protecting katara doesn't just mean protecting her physically (dying for her, attacking anyone who hurts her even if it's aang and he really didn't mean to, etc.) but also emotionally – protecting her innocence, her naïveté, her idealism.

like he'll say shit like "optimism and wonder are cringe and you're a loser for having love in your heart," but it's still so flippant, it's clear that he doesn't consider "provoking/annoying her" and "protecting her" to be mutually exclusive (frankly, anyone who doesn't succumb to the urge to provoke their siblings is simply not human and cannot be trusted) and has no problem criticizing her when he thinks that she's wrong for whatever reason, but he also avoids being vulnerable with her and uses flippancy and deflection to mask his more honest feelings most of the time.

notice how he basically completely shuts down in "the southern raiders," how even though he is standing there the entire time katara and aang are arguing, he says exactly one sentence and lets aang say literally everything else. notice how in the pilot he calls her a freak for waterbending instead of communicating either jealousy that she can do something he can't or fear that her ability will get her killed (again, it's probably a combination of both, but does he even understand that? probably not. because he refuses to introspect). which is why "you need me and i'll never turn my back on you" or even his admission in "sokka's master" that he feels insecure about being a nonbender shocks her so much.

katara and sokka's codependency is mutual, and they love each other a lot. while sokka isn't katara's first priority and entire identity the way katara is for sokka, when sokka is spirited away in "the winter solstice," katara basically shuts down, clings to his boomerang with a blanket around her shoulders and refuses to move from the spot he was taken until he gets back, and when sokka is gone for the day in "sokka's master," she spends the whole day waiting for him to return. and like, both of these take place in the span of no longer than a single day. but as much as they love and need each other, they also do not really understand each other, or themselves.

i would say that sokka understands katara better than katara understands sokka, but sokka also just understands people better than katara does, so that's not really surprising. for example, he knows that she would not benefit from killing yon rha before katara realizes it (and unlike aang, he is not a pacifist). but he does have some blindspots, like how he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to see hakoda in ba sing se (he interprets it as a purely selfless act, which it just isn't), but again, that's more of a daddy issues blindspot than a sister issues blindspot. they also just have very different worldviews. katara primarily cares about individuals whereas sokka primarily sees systems (with the necessary caveat that he still prioritizes his family), katara sees the best in people whereas sokka sees the worst in people, katara misses the forest for the trees whereas sokka misses the trees for the forest yada yada.

but what's important to understand fundamentally is that katara and sokka have both been dehumanized by the fn imperialist project (true of every atla character, btw) and so their lack of self-knowledge stems from the formative trauma of cultural genocide. those gaps in understanding originate from the roles they have been forced to inhabit, and since sokka's entire identity revolves around what he can and must sacrifice for katara, it's understandable that katara would be unable to acknowledge or even recognize that.

and then again, even beyond the inherent tragedy of their situation, no fourteen year old little sister really understands the neuroses and contradictions and lamentations of her older brother. even if he wore his heart on his sleeve she wouldn't understand him, because katara does encounter plenty of people who are far more obvious about their intentions and she doesn't really understand them either. but she means well. and that's what matters <3

[judasgot-it]

I’m in love with your writing like omg🩷could i request what kind of lovers are Dazai, tecchou and Nikolai?

(english is not my mother tongue so i dont mean cheat btw…)

IVE BEEN WANTING TO GET TO THIS ASK FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK AND AAAAAA

I have SO many headcannons about these fools oh lord. Also hoping I got what you meant cuz I won't lie I am a bit SILLY.

Headcannons: what kind of lovers are they? Dazai, Tecchou, Nikolai

Dazai

He sees his own misery inside of you, which he thinks is romantic. He thinks its beautiful that the two of you can understand each other's suffering in a way no one else can.

I don't think I need to state that while this is romantic in a literary sense, it's a major red flag

Dude would 100% want to do things that he thinks are "romantic" for couples to do together.

For example - murder-suicide, robbing stores together, double-suicide, arson, planning each other's funerals-

Man has a sick sense of romance and death

But he can be romantic!! Sometimes.

Despite being young he knows how to actually take care of his lover - at least in technicality

What he really enjoys, however, he has to suppress

That cold cold sick heart of his wants to isolate them, keep them away from everyone - but he knows that isn't really a human thing to do

So the type of lover he really is the kind of guy who can really only bond over either sex or when you're drunk/sad over the past

dude wouldn't even be able to have sex without crying or would have to do it in the dark, like he just gets too emotional and insecure

100% obsesses over your own trauma and will take any time he can to talk about it - but never his own

sorry dude has red flags ALL over in my mind, I just don't think he would do happy stuff because he would think it's very fake

He can't enjoy any happy occasion, especially dates

definitely thinks weed, deftones, and sex is a good date

Don't date this man if you try to break up with him he will come to your doorstep whimpering and crying telling you that he's gonna kill himself and that you're the only one for him even though he cheated on you

he just strikes me as a messy kind of person

Tecchou

Wants to be your hero. He knows your strong - but he wants to be strong for you. You deserve to be protected from the dangers of the world.

He believes in justice and is a MASSIVE dweeb for "playing the hero"

Man has good intentions that are EXTREME

So yea, he is a bit of an extreme lover

If he can, he'll protect you from anything. It's just his thing

He will try to eradicate all of your fears. Scared of the dark? Your house is brighter than the sun. Scared of bugs? sad, but he will chase them away.

Does this mean he's good at romance? Not really. He'll do anything you tell him too though

Literally anything. Almost. He wouldn't kill someone, but yea that man would 100% try a lot of weird and freaky shit.

would also not care if you weren't into sex. pretty sure that if he likes someone he is just LOYAL lol

although tbh he doesn't strike me as the horny type he just is too dedicated to his job like I'd give it 20/80

idk if he's a freak either like he's probably seen some weird nasty shit so he either is the most vanilla man to walk this earth or is into some weird ass shit.

(I bet it's cake sitting or some food shit. He and Ranpo are too similar, they would both be into weird food shit)

ANYWAY Tecchou is one of those guys who would do cute shit like open the door for his partner everywhere and hold their bags

It's very sweet. Bro 100% lifts.

probably calls while at work which is terrifying and horrible cause you'll hear gunfire but he'll pretend it's normal

Man is also technically property of the state so just know that if you're in a relationship with him you will always have someone stalking you, as you are now a threat to national security

but it's worth it for Tecchou <3

also, he has a huge bank account I bet but would buy either useless gifts or upgrade everything his partner owns cuz he probably only wears his military uniforms and compression shirts.

What's he gonna spend his money on, really?

Nikolai

The world is cruel and predictable, especially with people like him. He hates someone having control over him, so he would only love someone if he chose to - which is fickle at best.

AHHHH omg he's so hard to pin down because Nikolai 100% would be the worst person to have as a lover (jk)

Hot and Cold by Katy Perry esq

Like, 100% if he loves them he LOVES them but if he hates them? he HATES them

but I don't think he really changes his emotions that much, he's sensitive but not so drastically

Definitely is an interesting person to love - would do crazy and weird shit for his lover

doesn't do normal dates. he's a magician, everything is a trick with him

probably gives riddles and doesn't wait for them to be solved - they just lead up to silly dates or gifts. The gifts are probably tame like a drink they like or like, flowers. Maybe some random fingers if he saw that a server was rude.

Does the bottle up his ass trick a lot. or says "do you like magic in bed?" and then never pulls his pants down he just shows every single magic trick he knows.

Listen. that man is WAITING for an audience he will take any chance he can. He'll even pull out some tricks while in the middle of doing it. Let him show you his magic tricks, he practices very hard on some of them.

ranking him as the type to be an exhibitionist and a bit of a freak - how much? idk but he has his coat so who knows what kind of stuff he has on him.

also don't get into a philosophical convo with him this guy will start to talk all sorts of crazy

or political

unless ofc there's common ground then CONGRATS

also I feel like he would be a gentleman. Would probably bring his lover flowers and shit.

once brought oranges though. never explained why.

sorry about the NSFW but I needed the giggles. I did in fact giggle

[sweetkpopmusings]

jeonghan best friend headcanons <3

a/n: posting this for the lovely anon who requested it ! <3 jeonghan is a libra icon and my best friend's contact photo in my phone is a silly photo of jeonghan like i love him sm actually <333

content: fluff | wc: 0.8k | warnings: none! | pairing: bestfriend!jeonghan x gn!reader | requests: open

he is SUCH a caring best friend

he's so observant with the people he is closest to, which means you can't get away with anything when it comes to jeonghan

he probably knows you're getting sick before you do. he can just tell your sneeze is different and he's making you tea and nagging you about how to avoid getting ill

and you're like bro ?? i just sneezed ??

but a few days later you're down with a cold and he's gloating about the fact he knew you were getting sick like he's being so annoying about it because he's so competitive <3

don't worry he's also dropping off a care package so you can get well soon!!

he jokes that he won't come near you because he doesn't want to catch the plague but in reality he'll come inside and make sure you have enough food, water, blankets, etc.

he also knows when you're overworked/stressed/exhausted before most other people see the signs

so he'll check in on you a lil more frequently but he won't push it until you are ready to open up about it

while he wants to give tons of advice to help you, whenever you vent to him, he just listens very intently and comforts you and validates all your feelings and will only offer his insight when you ask/have finished expressing your thoughts

you get to hear ALL of his laughs. i mean ALL of them!!!

sometimes you're just standing in line getting coffee and he starts laughing because you made a funny face at a weird thing a stranger said

now what that stranger said has become an inside joke and you two will say it to each other every once in a while for a good laugh

you have a lot of lil inside jokes/phrases/sounds/hand gestures that you do together

sometimes they're so strange it's concerning to outsiders but everyone who knows you and jeonghan knows that it's just your special little language :,-)

he has a dumb nickname for you that he uses in every way possible. tbh sometimes you wonder if he even remembers your name because you never hear him say it, he always addresses cards to your nickname, etc

but if someone else uses that dumb nickname ??? jeonghan is immediately >:-( because that's HIS nickname for HIS best friend

it's like a prideful thing that he gets to call you that lol

when you give him a dumb nickname, he laughs so hard the first time you use it that you're worried you broke his brain

he giggles at it every time you say it for about 6 months because it's so funny to him and he thinks you're adorable :,-)

i think he's the type of best friend that wants to know all about your family (whether biological or chosen) and friends

like he's always asking you how so-and-so is doing, did your cousin get that job they wanted, and how was your coworker's dog's birthday

sometimes it's shocking that he remembers so much about people in your life that he's never met but he's genuinely interested because they matter to you! and he's a big fan of you spilling the tea lmfao

he also loves sharing that kind of info with you about his family and friends so you just walk around with a wealth of knowledge on jeonghan's sister's friendgroup drama you and jeonghan gossip about it regularly

big fan of self-care nights!

when he wants to hang out, it pretty much means he wants to sit around, eat food, do face masks, and watch funny videos together

depending on his mood it's either a night filled with chitchat or a night filled with comfortable silence but either way it's some of the most fun you've ever had

he also loves playing games with you

and he cheats every time <3 if you win when he cheats he'll be so proud <3 and brag about it to his members <3

he also definitely teaches you how to cheat so whenever you two are playing games with other friends you can team up and unleash absolute chaos

seventeen complains about there being two jeonghans whenever you're around

and jeonghan's always like "yeah and???" and seungkwan's across the room glaring at you ready to give a big speech on integrity he's just mad because y'all pranked him the day before and dino got video of him looking shocked and embarrassed

it's always fun to watch you two together because after becoming so close you share a braincell and it's so endearing to witness two besties being besties

at the core of it, jeonghan is a super solid best friend who values you and all the wonderful things you bring to the friendship and his life

sometimes jeonghan's babying you. most other times he's being a demon. through it all, he's always showing you how much he loves you and cherishes you <3

i would like to put in a request for one jeonghan thank you very much !

[flowerslut]

about the last ask you answered, at which point do you think rosalie started to like jasper? (I mean, actually like, and not just tolerate him) Also, isn't it canon that he's her favorite brother? I think they are like the cold pro-murder version of alice and edward but their personal mental issues won't allow them to act like best friends forever and stuff

oh I LOVE talking about rosalie (and jasper) and i'm delighted to see a follow up question about this, thank you anon 🤩

when did rosalie start to like jasper? my guess is in the range of 'anywhere between several months to years', which seems like a pretty wide span of time, but i'm sure the trajectory of rosalie's opinion/feelings on jasper went like: anger at him (and alice) being there, followed by toned-down frustration and annoyance, then a period of her just tolerating his presence that eventually morphed into acceptance, that led to a general feeling of comfort once he became part of the routine, and at one point that feeling of protectiveness she feels over her family probably extended toward him. rose and jasper strike me more as "actions over words" type of people tbh. I like to think that one of them stood up for the other at some point and that sense of loyalty was probably a kick off point for friendship between the two of them

but to analyze rosalie & jasper's relationship you kind of have to look at all of the cullen familial relationships; more specifically, the 'sibling' dynamics

edit: I did not mean for this to turn into a meta-length dissection of their characters, but whoops here we go:

canonically, rosalie is stubborn, intelligent, protective, loyal, vindictive, and fucking hates change. she craves normalcy—specifically the type that lets her pretend like she's not a vampire—and is more affected by, and therefore reacts stronger to, things she dislikes rather than the things that she likes, which is important to note. because that makes her a lot like edward—more like edward than any of her other 'siblings'.

rosalie and edward are alike in ways that cause them to bump heads more often than not—their worldviews are pretty similar, they both have a pretty significant measure of self-loathing/an issue with self-esteem (yes, even though rosalie knows she's hot, she's pretty unhappy with who she is) and they despise anything that messes with the status quo—but they think that they both have very different personalities, which I would categorize as their outward expressions of themselves. (they don't, but stick with me here)

there's a funny line in midnight sun where edward talks about how rosalie's "morbid" sense of humor is more in line with his than anyone else's in the family and, ignoring the fact that we all know edward doesn't have a sense of humor I think that it's because of the fact that they 1) both view the world similarly and 2) as rather 'bitchy' characters, their methods of expression fall in line with each others. in new moon we get to listen to edward cheerfully smash a television in a fit or rage, and in midnight sun edward braces himself for rosalie to fuck up his car because she's mad at him. TheyreTheSamePicture.jpg your honor

if you compare one attention-hog to another, they're going to both get pissy about it. rosalie can't stand edward's know-it-all tendencies and finds him pretty insufferable, and edward thinks she's selfish and shallow. they both view themselves as smarter, more reasonable, and 'better' than the other. ain't nothing is ever going to fix this.

"rosalie and edward are like oil and water" no, rosalie and edward are two types of vinegar that hate being combined in the same carafe because then you can't tell the difference between them and they both individually hate 1) not being the center of attention, 2) being compared to the other one, and 3) themselves 🤐 tbh, I don't think it's a coincidence that the two characters with the lowest self-esteem lowkey hate the character that is most like themselves...but let's move on from that tea ☕️👀

let's shift gears to jasper. jasper is reserved, sensible, intense, and appears to be quite mindful on the effect his presence has on others; probably because he knows what he looks like and he has the added benefit that he can feel how other's react in response to that. this is going to give him a pretty high degree of emotional intelligence and an automatic leg up in any social situation, which is why book jasper is so superior that movie jasper in my opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️ and why I can't read a lot of jasper/jalice fanfiction since people love to characterize him as hot tempered and 'edward-eque'

when you read the books jasper is just so? FUNNY? in midnight sun he's inventing stupid games with emmett. his friends come to visit and they spend their time playing vampire football (SHOW US THE VAMPIRE FOOTBALL SCENE STEPH YOU COWARD). in pre-epilogue twilight outtakes, he's holding hairdriers for alice while she queer-eyes bella.

in twilight/midnight sun he's standing on the steps and abiding by edward's "keep your distance" request when carlisle, esme, and alice welcome bella into their house; he's mellowing out the atmosphere so that these introductions go smoothly and so that bella is full-on VIBING, all while grinning at edward over everyone's head while the little scene progresses perfectly, who thinks "he was laying it on a little thick 🙄" (he even LAUGHS at edward when bella says something to the effect of "what CAN'T edward do?!")

but in bella's pov (and edward's) jasper is portrayed as this miserably suffering little guy who only gives a shit about alice (hot) and is often characterized as 'weak' (ironic). but when you look at the way jasper actually acts, outside of the 'attending high school' bullshit, he seems to be having a pretty good goddamn time.

i'm not the first person in the fandom that thinks that rosalie deserves someone to fight more in her corner, since canon shows us that smeyer is unwilling to let that happen (even emmett isn't allowed to defend her in canon!) the only time we ever see anyone agree with her on a serious issue (minus the renesmee debacle, that we won't acknowledge here) is in midnight sun when she and jasper are the only ones who acknowledge the danger bella poses to them. and I think it would be silly to overlook that!!!!

jasper and rosalie share the same levelheaded ferocity that you would sort of expect from someone who knows that, as vampires, a little murder here and there is necessary to keep you and your loved ones safe. so we get this really interesting framing of their characters via edward & bella and ultimately, via smeyer, where we're supposed to see them as 'less-than' because of this ruthlessness they possess. even stephenie, in interviews, has acknowledged that she doesn't understand why people love jasper and rosalie so much, which is so funny to me since?? they're two of the most interesting cullens?? like steph, you made both of their fucked up backstories central focus in book three? they're two characters ready to kill for the ones they love at a moment's notice, and you think us girls and gays aren't going to LATCH onto that?? you're surprised by that? kdgfhjksdg??? don't admit that out loud girl, that's embarrassinggggg 💀

also it's important to talk about how rosalie is the survivor of a violently traumatic sexual assault that was the catalyst to her loss of humanity and gaining immortality. she joins the family in 1933, is miserable and angry and resentful, but things get a little "better" in 1935 after she finds emmett and he joins the family. then, 15 years pass.

so, imagine this: it's been almost 18 years that you've been immortal. you've been a vampire almost as long as you were a human, and you've had a hard time, but at least you have a little family who loves and cares for you, and you might not be happy but you're content. your life is stressful, but you're safe...when suddenly two strangers show up at the door. you're at home with your surrogate 'parents'—the world's biggest vampire pacifist and his wife, a woman who, like you, was also a victim of intimate partner violence—and now some girl and this fucking ragged-looking dog of a man are standing on your doorstep acting like they're about to move in????

sure, alice can win rosalie over with compliments, make-overs, carefully plotted and expertly tailored conversation, but what's jasper going to do??? in what world would he go out of his way to win someone, who doesn't even like him, over? using his gift is out of the question—rosalie would probably maim him—and the only way he's putting someone else's comfort and well-being above his own is if they're a <5 foot control freak whomst he's obsessed in love with

as far as rosalie is concerned, the facts are this: jasper is from the vampire 'south'. jasper has been through some shit. jasper has, therefore, done some shit (you don't survive in the southern wars for 80 years without committing atrocities). therefore, jasper isn't just scary-looking physically, but he's dangerous and he has a shitty control on his bloodlust. for rosalie, that would be a fucking recipe for disaster. honestly, I can see rosalie getting along better with edward during this period because of jasper. i'm sure jasper was on the receiving end of some nastiness for a good while there, but unlike edward, I can guarantee you he just kind of...let her do it. not in a way where he's like "alas...'tis what I deserve 😞" because again: jasper has that degree of emotional intelligence that a lot of the cullens canonically lack. he knows it's not really about him. he probably lets a lot of it slide off his back; sure, it would be nice if rosalie didn't hate his guts, but hey! it's better than war!

rosalie likely had to warm up to jasper over time, little by little. I can see her easing up after she adjusts to his physical presence, after she realizes that no, he's not as violent as his appearance implies, and after emmett starts getting chummy with him. I think once rosalie realizes she's the only person left who doesn't like or trust jasper, it would have her feeling frustrated or annoyed, and I think this would be when World's Sexiest Number One Schemer, alice cullen, pounces and finally starts creating situations that get them to interact more!!

after all, alice knows what it's like to have to wait a while to approach someone so they don't literally tear your head off 😈

I think alice was probably the architect to whatever helped jasper and rosalie bridge that gap, maybe with an assist from emmett or even edward! it isn't much of a stretch to jump from tolerating/being 'okay with' someone's presence to finding comfort with it or even enjoying it, and again: rosalie is someone who reacts stronger to shit she hates than the stuff she loves (the girl loves to be a hater, and who can blame her tbh?) so you'll probably hear more about her opinion on you if that opinion is negative 💀 (which is absolutely why she's such an antagonist in the series while she watches this edward/bella ridiculousness)

as for jasper being her "favorite brother"? well, it's a pretty low bar. jasper is competing with edward for that title. he wins by default 💀

anyways I don't have a great conclusion to all this rambling, but rosalie probably started viewing jasper as her brother LONG before she ever vocalized anything of the sort. i'm sure there was some sort of conversation or event where rosalie stood up for jasper or just said something complimentary to/about him that probably solidified their camaraderie more than one-on-one bonding or hangouts ever would. maybe her being willing to share her surname with him was that moment!! that action in and of itself is so telling man!!! I love the implications!! idk man their friendship (that we never really see in canon even if it's implied) means so MUCH to meeeeeeeeee. i love the Murder Twins ♡

[formulatrash]

What's your take on the hockey booktok thing? Since you mentioned it on twt

my initial take would be that all these people scare me so much I don't want to get into it but also people keep messaging me to be like did you know people ship carlando" off the back of it and yes. I did know that.

my understanding of what's happened on booktok, which I absorb any information about only twice a year during whatever version of this is blowing up at the time, is pretty limited. partly because I'm not on tiktok and partly because I can't read. but the crux of it seems to have come down to people writing disgustingly thirsty comments on a hockey player and his wife's posts, regardless of what they were about, somehow feeling empowered to be horny not just on main but in someone's face because of booktok.

that's, clearly, not remotely acceptable. if there are communities of people out there that thirst about me I don't know about them (although the cold tendrils of horror about the Wikifeet page have just gripped me and no, oh god, that isn't the phrase I should've used at all get me out of here) but there are loads of people who fucking hate my guts. that's like, fine, it's their own business; if they keep it on discord or whatever and away from me it doesn't do me any harm. lord knows, I have committed the act of hating and indeed being horny, sometimes simultaneously, when I was at a safe enough distance for none of the subjects to ever know.

this is a thing about fandom. if you post "Max Verstappen looks breedable" on here then he's extraordinarily unlikely to ever see it or probably know what it means. if you comment that on Kelly's instagram posts, even if you don't like her and even if that's for valid reasons, that's very different.

as I gather it, the booktok thing has exploded into RPF in general. which, I gotta say, RPF and sexually harassing a dude and his family are in fact very different things. one has a rich history, both as actual ways of telling history (Anthony and Cleopatra: RPF, Chernobyl: RPF, the god damn Gran Turismo movie is RPF about an uncomfortably large number of people I know IRL and to be fair it looks like it slaps I'm gonna see it) and as a longstanding artform. RPF's history of horny is even extremely longstanding, with obscene RPF being used by both the French and Russian revolutionaries to undermine the concept of royal divinity.

RPF is political because it involves an interpretation of real events and people. and the perspective from which that's written will always be political. RPF can, certainly, be feminist; there's quite a lot of retellings of classical stories that fit this. RPF can, also, be fucking weird horny shit. or terrible man takes. or incredible, tender, queer retellings; Kaz Rowe's graphic novel about real-life surrealist Claude Cahun is an obvious example of the latter. Pride, the film about the miners' strikes and the AIDS crisis, is another.

so yeah, it is a legitimate and recognised form of literature and art and also uhhhh. well. I mean the omegaverse is definitely recognised, legally, in court because of that one case but I don't know that even its fiercest enthusiasts would really be all that keen on describing it. not as like, literature or anything just I think most people would rather literally never have an IRL conversation about that. ever.

I'm not 1000% clear on how carlando got into this but clearly that's broken containment a long time ago anyway. when you had Sky doing love heart interviews 15 races into them being teammates or whatever, there was an obvious amount of gay chicken being played by the producers that frankly, as a queer person in motorsport, I'm a lot more comfortable with the fan version of.

no, obviously, I do not think they are dating - or want to think that tbh - but frequently-queer fans projecting the wish fulfilment of seeing a kinder and more representative world for their desires, in places hidden from the subjects, is a lot less weird than leering, laughed-at dating questions and milk baths. in an ideal world it wouldn't have to be a secret, yearned-for alternative because things would be safe and open enough for there to be real queer stories everywhere but that, unfortunately, is not the one we currently live in.

wish fulfilment and telling stories are not the same things, necessarily. sometimes you tell the stories to remind yourself it's ok to have wishes or to work out what those even are. I don't think there's anything necessarily harmful about what names the characters have in those, provided the line between reality and any real people's privacy is kept.

clearly, with the booktok thing, that's where things went extremely wrong. generally tiktok as a whole seems to have a very odd perception about other people's agency, whether it's pranking videos or like the girl who filmed people peeing at Spa. if you regard everyday people as content opportunities (spoiler: the law does not think this and particularly in the EU you cannot film people without their consent) then I guess it's easy to slide over to seeing an athlete as a target for what I suspect very few of the people doing it recognised as very unpleasant and invasive harassment.

there's nothing wrong with fancying athletes. there's nothing even wrong with sexualising them, provided you respect some boundaries and provided it's not part of the conditions of their working contracts. there's a lot of difference between there being a discord where, idk, people say Mitch Evans is hot (he is, although somewhat implausibly he genuinely does not know this) and sponsors for female tennis players wanting them to wear revealing outfits and stay skinny or teenage girls being encouraged into provocative photoshoots by people who promise them roles, etc. teenage male athletes being pressured into doing things they don't want to yet or maybe at all to prove they're men, queer athletes being forced to hide who they are or repress it entirely.

would it be a little bit odd to find RPF of yourself? yes. I won't lie, I would judge the characterisation. I already do judge that on the frankly very weird things people write about me. you have never seen RPF as strange as the narratives people will make up about you in the comments of an article about hydrogen and frankly those scare me a lot more than whether someone thinks I'd be assigned beta or whatever.

stumbling across something, rather than having explicit sexual fantasies forced into your face, especially on what's your own social media pages where people you know in real life can see them, is very different though. some people who engage with RPF cross lines, whether that's weird conspiracy stuff about girlfriends being faked or stalking people's friends accounts etc.

RPF doesn't inherently cross lines, even when it's public; there's a very interesting interview here with Jann Mardenborough and the guy who plays him in the Gran Turismo movie about, among other things, portraying a fatal crash he was involved in. clearly, Jann is not only aware of but is the executive producer of what's ultimately fiction about himself and there's an ownership there, of course. but some parts of the movie are made up, for sure.

obviously I'm like, the not-very-secret infiltrator here because clearly I am On Tumblr and know what AO3 is. I follow a bunch of people who write fanfic because they also make nice gifs of my favourite blorbos and I like to think we can all make peace with our own boundaries about that kinda thing. also I read every single Shane/Ryan fic in like 5 weeks and honestly, not going to apologise except to myself for persisting with a few that didn't pay off.

but like: you do not have to make RPF or any fandom activity unethical. the way you conduct yourself does that and some people step way out of line.

[lolkitkatbar]

Ranking all the murder drones episodes so far because I can

#6: Pilot (ep.1)

The pilot has to be my least favorite episode of the whole series. Lot's of the jokes didn't really land with me. This is also the episode that Introduced me to murder drones so the classic MD critisism kept nagging me in the back of my mind: "Does this series want me to take it seriously or just turn off my brain and laugh. Do I care that these murder robots are murdering everyone or should I not give a crap" and to an extant this episode specifical still triggers those thoughts. I guess this episode did a bad job balancing the funny and the spoopy with each other.

#5: cabin fever (ep.4)

This episode also suffers from "Does this series want to take it seriously or not" Syndrome, but it's a little bit better because the humor was better. This is also the episode that threw me for a loop and really confused me. I mean, most MD episodes confuse me if I don't get a little help but if it wasn't for MD analyses/theory videos I would have stayed completely clueless. The bad pacing doesn't help either. That being said I do appreciate this episode for really showing these characters having character development. N stands up for himself more, V is shown to be more then cold murder machine, and Uzi is allowed to be more vulnerable. Plus I LOVE the scene where Uzi and N are falling from the sky and N is comforting Uzi. It doesn't matter how you view them, friends, siblings, lovers, that's darn cute! One thing that I'm kind of disappointed about is how V and Izzy's relationship didn't develop much after this episode. I really think it it would be cute if the popular WD diva that is Izzy softens that cold heart of V's and shows her ✨the magic of friendship✨or whatever but, alas, it was not meant to be.

#4: The Promening (ep.3)

Unlike most of these episodes, I don't really have much to say about The promening. To be honest it's on the same level as heartbeat but I just put it lower because I think because we get more info on Doll (And we get cool action scenes). This episode is also nice to look back on because this is the episode that made me a NUzi shipper.

#3: Heartbreak (ep.2)

Man these thumbnail captures are in horrible quality. Episode 2 is pretty good. I liked the scenes where the projections actually dupes the audience, like the murder scene one where everyone and everything was fake except that one girl or the one with N, those still gives me chills and was the first scene in the series that me do it. I mean, jeez, after that I have constant paranoia and worry if everything around me is fake. Also Thad was there so that's nice, kind of wish we had seen more of him after this but he plays a really small role after this episode. Also is it just me or do Uzi and N show know signs that they like their "crushes" after episode 1, like, they act completely normal in front of them and act as if they never had crushes on them in the first place, which kinda makes me feel like it was more so puppy love then anything tbh. I also found Doll to be very interesting in this episode and I wanted to know more about her. Which is great because the next episode dives into her a little bit more. But yea this is only above "The Promening" because I would rather watch this episode just a little bit more.

#2: Home (ep.5)

Definently one of the best murder drones episodes to date. I mean, we get to learn more of the disassembly drones past and more about cyn. Lil butler N is driving me crazy to this day tho, HE'S TOO CUTE! I'm also not the biggest eNVy fan but you have to admit their interactions in this episode were cute. Oh yea, Tessa was cool too. She really loves her drones more then anything (Even if she still sees them as below her in some ways). Also NUzi scenes are in here, even if their one sided, and it makes me scream everytime. Definently a banger of an episode.

#1: Dead End (Ep. 6)

These past two episodes have been absolute bangers, but this one hits like a truck! And no, I'm not saying that just because it's the newest episode, IT'S ACTUALLY SO GOOD! Cyn is taking over Uzi, undenounced to poor ol Uzi. Now N has to make a decision, take Tessa's advice and kill Uzi to save the universe or leave Uzi be and have the possibility of the universe. This shouldn't really be that difficult but once he realizes what he will have to do and as Uzi is hugging him tightly he realizes how much he loves uzi. She was the first person to believe in him. The first person to treat him as an equal. the first person to teach him to stick up for himself. He can't just throw her away now, not after all she's done for him. I really like V's character development in this series. She wen't from a heartless phyco to someone who actually cares for Uzi and N and would do what's best for the both of them, even if it means sacrificing herself. And the song at the end was so beautiful, man this series has an AMAZING SCORE!

Alright so that's my ranking for now, bye!

[quietbluejay]

Lion Son of the Forest

Iiii've been putting off talking about this one because I didn't like it. I think there's a lot that's good about it, but, the reason I brought up some of my issues with Master of the Maelstrom when they didn't bug me that much then, was that they were a lot more present here and did bother me in Son of the Forest.

I think Brooks is a superb short story writer, but that he's got issues with adapting the short story approach in terms of plot structure to novels, so the novels really read as long short stories.

Anyways. As always, it's just my take.

apparently sometimes you can Just Say No To Chaos For Ten Thousand Years and not be especially strong willed gw have consistency or draw 20 this guy doesn't seem to be getting tempted at all meanwhile his boyfriend is a chaos sorcerer

like the other guy, zabriel, it makes sense, he hasn't been doing anything w.r.t. the warp he's just been running around as a fugitive for 400 years so it makes sense also on a side note REALLY not a fan of how it switches tense and person between POV scenes

me: there should be more renegades who don't turn to chaos this book: has that me: no not like this i…i don't know why i'm not liking it am i just salty because it's not one of my favourite factions? maybe i'm just in a bad mood ….i think i've put my finger on what bothers me about Brooks' writing when he's not a bad writer! i think he's more technically proficient than mcneill or abnett tbh, in a lot of ways but it's…he's writing tie in books for the game that's what these are primarily that's the perspective they're written from which is why they don't have thematic consistency with the other writers maybe not quite the right term but it's like, and i kind of hate using this as an example, but it's like trying to mesh together Sins of the Wreckers and Barber's writing (Transformers, I will elaborate on this for anyone who is curious)

…okay enough meta, I am now understanding why people say Lion is autistic-coded i will also say this, Lion is definitely more of, hm, how to put it more morally upright than Guilliman

like this should be everything i want, it's got forgiveness, renegades, protecting the little people as a first priority…why is it leaving me cold?

i think also because it's standing in stark contrast to the themes of the Ahriman trilogy, or Black Legion it just feels unfair? the whole thing is predicated on there being no good choices but then here it's like "yeah actually these guys went and somehow became unambiguous good guys offscreen problem with chaos what problem with chaos their main issue is being hunted by their loyalist brothers" despite them also starting out from the base state as the "final solution" legion

i will say i do very much vibe with this in theory

okay so like, i will be fair part of the reason most of these guys managed to avoid chaos was because they time travelled to the future and skipped most of the intervening years

im finally getting some resonance here

okay that's a hook

like the whole situation with the Fallen is "stuck as traitors due to tragic misunderstanding" which i mean, that's astraeos but these guy get lucky enough to land in places offscreen where they can become people's protectors? also again, i don't think it really follows from what i saw of the dark angels in 30k but im not a dark angels expert lol and I've only seen a bit of them it just doesn't feel earned

also lion's character arc happened offscreen

i think i'm probably going to have to reread this book in a different mood and see how i feel then

lion has gifted kid syndrome as i suspect all the primarchs do note from future bluejay, as I read this like a month before AE: lol, though I meant it a different way for Perturabo none of them ever had to practice anything so finding something he can't do immediately is very troublesome to deal with lol -_- ahriman: my existence feels pointless and the only thing that keeps me going is the hope that i will be able to make things right zabriel: have you tried meditating it worked for me

this is who Lion is! and now he's changed to this offscreen:

one heck of a nap

also we have our second forehead kiss the subtextual relationship here is probably the most blatant space marine romance i've seen so far like even more so than loken/mersadie oh hey actual acknowledgement that how the imperium treats mutants make them super easily turn to chaos apparently lion can also no-sell magic attacks somehow lol

like the whole tragedy of Guilliman in Dark Imperium is that he is unable to recognize that he's repeating the past and hasn't learned but this kind of seems to be going in the direction of "it's fine as long as he's pointed in the right direction"?

lion is having a two paragraph struggle about "is the emperor actually a god" guilliman divinity wrestling speedrun

like that sounds contrary to what chaos energies actually do but okay mmm, still not a fan of mercy kills especially in this context which is redemption equals death

wait wait lion is being worshipped as a god even if he's not a fan lion: better me than the alternative maybe that's what turned him into a good guy okay this is kind of cool lion is fighting all his brothers i think structurally this should have been at the beginning, though but the book isn't quite over so maybe im wrong expansion: fighting all his brothers and they're poking into his weak spots

>kurze appears out of the shadows >says something cutting >refuses to elaborate >leaves

okay this is fun

like okay i do get that it's not exactly super realistic to expect lion to go "the emperor's entire methodology was completely flawed" but also given the tone of this whole thing i kind of expected it if we were to have any kind of good resolution here

lion: have any of you tried not being doomed by the narrative?

Not a bad way to end it though!

I'll come back to this after I've read Unremembered Empire, maybe, and re-evaluate.

[nevesmose]

So the last time I posted anything was way back in 2016 when I had just moved to England and was working in a shitty hotel. Finally after ten thousand years I'm back, and in the intervening time I, in vaguely chronological order:

Had various celebrity encounters (details available on request)

Got married

Moved to a new city

Worked in a different shitty hotel

Worked in a shitty call centre

Joined one of the Big 4, iykyk

Had a kid

Moved back to Scotland

Got diagnosed with autism

Had another kid

And now after all that character development I've come back to a Tumblr account untouched for almost a decade and a screen name I first came up with almost two decades ago. Christ I'm old.

Why?

Let's slam on the auld accelerator all the way back to summer 2006. I was a complete antisocial nerd and not in the cutely engaging likeable way but in the cold, creepy hate-filled way. The undiagnosed autism probably had a lot to do with it tbh.

My only social contact was as a cringy hanger-on to my friends' band, and when I say friends I mean people who we had no choice but to be around each other in class. It's like going to sea in olden times, or having a cellmate with a pretty enough mouth. You make do, but it doesn't have any deeper meaning or connection.

One weekend they promised everyone that they'd be getting played on the radio. A small local station that no longer exists, practically hand-cranked. So me and various others tuned in and waited for hours to hear them. Did they rock the rural Scottish airwaves all the way from Lochaber to Fochabers, Invergordon to Inverbervie, Pitlochry to Pitmedden?

No, no they didn't. The mid-2000s were sadly denied their ten millionth landfill indie band and life went on. I never found out why and I didn't really care because my thought at that moment was just - fuck this, I want to do something for myself.

Another thing about me at that time was that I was a huge Metal Gear Solid fan - still am in a lot of ways. I played the heck out of MGS3 and liked The Sorrow so much that I habitually wore a commando sweater because I thought they were cool.

Reading that back it sounds like the start of a particularly gross Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life parody but I swear it's true. In any case, I had found a bunch of MGS3 fanart and such on Deviantart but was too paranoid and anxious to actually create an account.

Up until that day, anyway. I wanted to do something for myself so I took the plunge and did it. Met a lot of really great people and had some wonderful times over the following 10ish years. It was nice, in the most meaningful way, to make my own little identity for myself when I didn't have anything else going on that really mattered to me as a person. Also I wrote a lot of edgy Dark Eldar fanfiction.

Of course, life went on and I ended up drifting away on the tide of gradually building up other things in my life, even in my own slow way. Which brings us to now.

It's pretty pleasant, in a nostalgic way, to revisit the online footprint of the person I was then and to look at his antics with a little more, dare I say it, maturity and self-awareness than I had at the time. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it's also pleasant to recapture a little of how it felt to be that person whose responsibilities extended only as far as creating OCs and adding the right amount of XD, x3 and ^_^ emotes to every comment.

What a dork. But it was fun to be that dork.

[leffee]

what do you wish Vinnie would’ve had in the show?

favorite Vinnie dance move?

Oh boy, that's an interesting one. Well, first of all, a few smaller things like:

more songs, solo or a duet with someone, I especially crave Vinnie and Zoe duet. Songs where most/all pets sing are great of course, but often you can't hear each individual vocal hence I want something where I can hear him well. We all know he's a great singer B)

basically just more interactions with other pets apart from Sunil. I love my Vinnie/Sunil interactions of course, but after season 1 it seems those two just were glued to each other a lot and there was not many moments when he was interating alone with some other pet because they were always paired together

I'm not sure if that counts for your question, but there is one thing that I haven't seen anyone mention ever - his voice changed between first and second season, did anyone notice that and just never said anything or do I just pay too much attention to him? The voice actor remained the same of course, but it's like? A different tone? Really, if you compare Vinnie's voice from season 1 and any other season he sounds different and I'll be honest, I liked the season 1 voice more, so if it was up to me, I'd leave it like that.

I think that's all of the smaller things, I could maybe add here that I would personally redesign him a bit, but idk if that's what you're asking for so I'll leave it at that.

Now for bigger things that I would have loved to see with him:

this is a classic episode trope but I would have so loved to see it: Vinnie (stupid character [ugh]) by some means gets smarter (like a classic bonk on the head or something) and for an entire episode he and Russell compete against each other intelligence-wise, with Russell being considered the smartest pet Vinnie would want to beat him, and he does. Of course, by the end he somehow returns to his normal self and misses when he was smarter, thinking that he was much better than

another thing is from an actual epsiode, that episode being "Why Can’t We Be Friends?". When watching this episode for the first time I was so sure this was going to be Vinnie episode, with this beggining who could blame me, it pointed at that. Well, it turned out it was more so Sunil's episode, which tbh back then I was delighted about because he was then my favourite character. I still love him of course, but now, I would have loved if this episode (or some other one) was about Vinnie dealing with this whole "I want to eat flies and it's in my nature to catch them and because of my instincts I make a mess which pisses my friends" conflict.

While we're at it, also more emphasis on him being a reptile surrounded by mammals. There's a lot of potential here, you know? He could very easily get jealous of them: they're warm-blooded and so don't have to make double-efforts to be warm, which to him is a luxury; usually people like mammals more and think they're cuter, reptilies on the other hand are cold to the touch, scaly and sticky not all that cute; and what I mentioned before - they have families and he (maybe) does not. All in all, jealousy potential

speaking of which, I would have loved if there was something like that with his dancing. Let him be jealous, or even better - dissapointed when seeing someone else be a better dancer than him - someone who doesn't put nearly as much effort as he does and yet they're better. The thing is, there was very much an episode that could have easily done that - "Plane it on Rio!" when Minka was the one who lead the whole dancing part. It would have been so easy for Vinnie to have some sort of thought process that would go like this: "Wait, Minka is good at dancing and leading us? That would normally be me... A-And she never really dances, she's into painting, how come she's better than me?" or, different but similar scenario that plays with the same thing: one pet, let's say Russell, since in the "in the loop" episode he was shows learning other pets' talents, wanted Vinnie to give him some dancing lessons. So Vinnie does, but very soon he notices that Russell is better than him, he doesn't trip, and once he gains confidence in dancing after some practice he can do various moves easily. Vinnie has been practicing for years and it turns out that all it takes for someone to beat him are just a few days? Oh, the potential disappointment. I love it

Well shit, that's just a lot of angst, sorry :'(. I could probably go on, but I figured that's enough for now, I hope these answer your question because I'm honestly not sure xd.

Favourite dance move? Probably moonwalk, he did it a few times and I think it's great. But I also like when he breaks into some breakdance moves. There might be more that I can't think about on the spot, but if I do I think I will just reblog it and add it. It's important info after all :}.

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Can I just say your MC is one the best MC's I've ever read in COG and HG. As a female reader the mc doesn't feel too masculine nor feminine. They feel neutral enough that I can play without having to change them. I also love the realistic choices and reactions, too often I see other HG's (cough- I won't say which-) quip and give that marvel like family friendly dialogue. I love that if I was in this setting, I would react the way (at least my mc) acts. Oh and the female characters Muah! Perfect. They feel genuine without being a stereotype of what means to be a girl and the fact you still give them their femininity without demonizing it! Many male authors seem to write female characters underneath Pixie wild, shy motherly or badass sexual. Anyway, sorry for gushing- its honestly hard to find a versatile, all the round good WIP.

Have a good one Ser Flame R. R Martin.

"As a female reader the mc doesn't feel too masculine nor feminine."

I try, but im sure to fuck up in the future haha. Ill be hoping for people such as yourself to help me steer the ship back on course!

"I also love the realistic choices and reactions, too often I see other HG's (cough- I won't say which-) quip and give that marvel like family friendly dialogue."

Dude, i hate that so much! But what do you expect when we've had Marvel be the juggernaut of cinema for the last 20 years? That means their form of telling stories has influenced so much styles of writing, storytelling, and direction to the point it's saturating media and people are getting tired of it. Personally, I haven't even seen the new Disney shows about Wanda, Loki, Moon Knight or the rest since I'm so fatigued watching superhero stuff. Like I could care less.

"I love that if I was in this setting, I would react the way (at least my mc) acts."

This is something I really wanted to hammer home. Most people, including some of my readers, expect to be a cold-blooded ruthless OP MC straight from the gate. But that's not possible! Our Goddess chose you in the end because of your good nature, your humanity, and your empathy. You are canon to start off as a good person with modern sensibilities! A person of today raised in relative comfort would be shocked if they had gone through anything the MC has gone through. But how the MC will end up becoming will be up to the player.

"Oh and the female characters Muah! Perfect. They feel genuine without being a stereotype of what means to be a girl and the fact you still give them their femininity without demonizing it! Many male authors seem to write female characters underneath Pixie wild, shy motherly or badass sexual."

Tbh i wanna avoid that bullshit that makes me roll my eyes. Oh great, a female character who is strong and independent and needs no man whatsoever because she thinks men are baggage so she always has to demean them while doing everything perfectly. Eyerolls. ONLY FOR HER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A DUDE AND REALIZE THAT SHE WAS WRONG! Like they not only ruined her whole character, they then turned it on its head and made it so a man could be the only thing that could help her grow as a person...Bruhhhhhhh

Anyways. Yeah, ima try to avoid that, but like I said before i may fuck it up without realizing it because I consume media that unfortunately has that bullshit and may influence me somewhat. Doesn't mean I'm a piece of shit lmao, just means I'm being influenced by my surroundings because quality writing isn't being promoted because of writing that instead checks off boxes is what gets the love from corporations and investors instead. I don't believe in the whole "Go woke go broke" shit, I rather believe in consumer fatigue. Consumers don't wanna get preached or lectured at anymore. People don't wanna see obvious boxes getting checked with token minorities or plot points. People are tired of corporate wokeness.

I think a woman can have strength by being a mother. She doesn't have to be single and scorn the affections of others. I think a woman can show fortitude by being a knitter or dancer in the ballrooms. She doesn't have to give speeches all the time and be a general to command respect from others. I think a woman can show initiative by using their charisma without needing it to be sexual to get shit done. A woman doesn't only have her sexuality to use as a weapon, she has her wits.

Inversely, you can flip what i just said and it would be true. Because a woman isn't bound by tropes.

Same goes for the men.

Anyways, my point to all this is that i wanna create something that can give female characters their femininity without demonizing it.

Bruh i talked alot lmaooooo

[griefabyss69]

directors commentary on acceptance and negation pls!

this dynamic is super hard to find in fics and you did it sooo well while keeping them in character!

Thank you so much!! Making the characters believable is like my #1 goal most of the time and this one was very heavy on situations that we definitely don't see in canon LMAO

Okay first of all - same! The "lost bet / rivals / begrudgingly super into this" dynamic is one of my favorite things to read and I also find it hard to find written properly. There's a needle to thread there for sure, and people often go too far one way or another (for MY tastes, this isn't a moral judgement).

Rivals to lovers is like catnip to me when done well - two people who are at odds with each other but obsessed enough to not just ignore each other, instead they perhaps concoct a little bet that ends with one of them cumming in their jeans, or something :' )

I think Steve and Eddie have a GREAT canon set up for this dynamic, and I know I've read it before and found it satisfying, though that dynamic resolved before they got to the sex. Even if you do a post-S4 Eddie lives, there's still plenty of rival potential!

So in this fic in particular, I had the theme (forniphilia) and a little tiny summary of an idea (I have them for my whole philia series, which is NOT how I usually write), and so I didn't just open a blank document and then get possessed for 7 hours and have this out of nowhere.

Usually I get a vibe/sliver of an idea/a sentence or a theme, and then I start writing and usually it flows in a satisfying enough way that I don't mind when it doesn't go how I initially thought it would, that's typical for me and how I do anything really. But I had to keep this on the rails!

Luckily those rails were for a train that's been living in me for longer than I've been writing for ST. When I started the paraphilia series the fics were all supposed to be short - it was mostly for a writing exercise type of thing, warm ups, etc. Buuuuut this one was written in two sessions, edited in another two, and turned out to be like 18K.

I don't use a word program that has a word counter, because that's distracting to me (my editing is done in one though, it lags too much for my typing speed anyway, I have an old laptop, but this set up works well enough for now), so sometimes I'll check on the wordcount. I remember checking this one at around 3K like 'alright! Better wrap it up!'.

Yeah.

I had a lot of fucking fun with this one, walking the tight rope of "okay they're horny as hell and this is getting unrealistic, but I'll keep the emotional/social thread of it properly done". And I imagine between two kinky ass people this kind of situation IS realistic, even when they're rivals!

This was honestly a really fun character exploration of a different kind of Steve than I usually write - a lot of my writing is an Eddie POV to begin with, but then either it's Steve being series or Steve being horny, not this. I think it's more well rounded, and usually I don't have him pushing his limits like this - in my head that's more of an Eddie thing to do, he's a bit of a thrill seeker - but in a situation where he has something bigger than just following what he wants to do, that's a good moment to discover some new shit about himself. Growth happens in a lot of ways, sometimes it's when you have to get on your hands and knees to your rival can use you as a footstool, you know how it is!

Steve's experience was a fun balance, including his struggle to keep from just giving into the easier feeling of believing Eddie's being kind when he has no real evidence of that - he's being smart tbh, whether he's right or wrong. Not letting himself fully sink into the experience even though it was so tempting, like a warm bath after a cold day. Getting a little sucked into the fuzzy space anyway, enjoying it despite everything. Lots for him to think about!!!

Another thing to balance was Eddie, how mean he was going to be, any potential consent issues - it's one thing to order a person around, another thing to bring sex into it - usually with this kind of limit pushing there's trust involved, talking beforehand, etc. But this wasn't like that, there had to be a progression that was really based on like, a few failsafes and trusting each other to not go too far. Then Eddie taking care of him while still ordering him around - that was obvious on purpose, both to the reader and to Steve - because otherwise Steve would've just left and while Eddie loves that he got to torment him and edge him and then watched him ruin his own orgasm by accident, that level of intensity can't just stop without a soft place to land.

I gotta say. The reception to this one definitely surprised me, I don't think I've had people asking for a sequel more than with this one - I gotta stick to my rule with it though, this was a one shot. I simply have one hundred million WIPs (around 50 now that I WANT to finish, and like 100 more ideas I hope to write… as unrealistic as that is). People have been SO nice and supportive in the comments on this one, both on the fic and then either in my inbox or DMs on here!

That doesn't mean I'm not exploring Steve and forniphilia in other fics though, I have a WIP that doesn't have the rival to lovers dynamic, it focuses more on the kink itself. Before writing Acceptance and Negation I knew I was kind of interested in exploring it, but knowing I have an interest and getting around to it are two different things, but writing this really helped me start with that!

But I do really hope to figure out this dynamic in another situation, maybe another paraphilia fic because rivals and kinky shit goes REALLY well together in terms of kicking up the tension. (In fact, Waves - the saliromania / spit fic - was going to be rivals, but I actually had that one started as it's own thing before I realized I liked it much better than the little summary I had for that kink. No regrets there, but there's plenty of room in my ideas for more rivalry!!!)

Okay this is long as HELL so I'm going to end it here before I start writing another thousand words!! Thank you again anon <3

[linagram]

[meet the guards!] guard 001 and guard 002: sanada eiji and andou miki

YAY THEY'RE FINALLY HERE! i probably should've made actual references for them instead, but i really wanted this post to feel special in some way, since, you know, they're the guards. also sadly i don't have a lot of time right now because of uni, but maybe i'll be able to make full body references for my ocs soon! also tbh i actually really like how this drawing came out hehe..

and yes, these two come as a set. do not separate them.

Warnings: mentions of physical abuse, unhealthy family dynamics, eiji is supposed to show just how bad past milgram wardens could get, so i hope you're ready for that.

Sanada Eiji's profile.

General info.

Name: Sanada Eiji (真田栄司) (his last name means "true" and "rice field" and his first name means "glory, honor" and "manage, control")

Age: 19 y/o

Gender: Male

Status: Prison guard, "Guard 001" (not official)

Birthday: November 6 (Scorpio)

Height: 167 cm

Blood type: O

Occupation: Unemployed before Milgram, likes to say that being a prison guard is his actual job now.

Personality: Eiji was more than happy to become a Milgram guard and he's very proud of his job. Sure, maybe he's still pretty young, but he truly believes that he's the only person who deserves to judge these prisoners. He was very excited when he found out that he can do pretty much anything he wants with them and that he can use literally anything to torture and punish them for their sins. He's strict, prideful and never goes easy on anyone. If he sees someone misbehaving or he just hears them saying no to him, he will punish them immediately. Interrogations would end with the prisoners crying and screaming, if it wasn't for Miki who is always there to calm him down and stop him when he goes too far. However, it would be wrong to say that Eiji is simply a cruel and cold-hearted sadist, there's actually much more to his personality than just that. He's willing to listen to the prisoner's story if they can prove that they're innocent or they at least can admit that they've done something bad. But considering that most prisoners here, including Eiji's own brother, believe that they've done nothing wrong.. yeah, it will be hard for them to get on Eiji's good side. Also, if you're close with Eiji, you will notice that he actually doesn't enjoy torturing the prisoners that much, but he still believes that they deserve it and there's no other way to deal with them. He's also more soft than he appears, for example, Eiko managed to fluster him and make him blush once and he also makes sure Miki doesn't overwork herself.

MV info.

Which canon Milgram song he would cover: PLEASE IMAGINE HIM AND MIKI SINGING UNDERCOVER TOGETHER. PLEASE

Which DECO*27 song he would cover: .. yeah, he would totally cover Animal. Yeah.

If he could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: Hop! Step! Instant Death! A Happiness Dance Death Trap by Utata-P

His Trailer 1 Voicelines: (also yes, my guard ocs have THOSE voicelines too. so what)

"Why hello there! My name is Sanada Eiji, and starting from today, I'll be judging you for all the horrible crimes you've committed! Oh, you look so scared.. Haha, don't worry, I'll take very good care of you~.. That was a lie."

"STOP! PLEASE, STOP, IT HURTS SO MU- I CAN'T TAKE IT, KEI, STOP, I'M BEGGING YOU!"

Andou Miki's profile.

General info.

Name: Andou Miki (案藤心希) (her last name means "plan, idea" and "wisteria" and her first name means "heart, mind" and "to hope for, to beg for")

Age: 18 y/o

Gender: Female

Status: Prison guard, "Guard 002" (not official)

Birthday: June 2 (Gemini)

Height: 170 cm (yes, she's 3 cm taller than Eiji, haha)

Blood type: A

Occupation: High school student, prison guard (?)

Personality: Miki has no idea why someone like her would be chosen to become a prison guard. She's shy, clumsy and she finds everything about this place too scary. Prisoners often forget that she's a warden as well and tend to call her "Eiji's assistant". And it's kinda true, she's not that good at being a guard, but she's the one who writes down everything that she and Eiji learned about the prisoners after interrogations and watching their MVs and she's also the one who tries to talk to them as calmly as she can, so that they don't feel scared and they can actually talk about their crimes. Sure, a lot of prisoners can't take her seriously, but surprisingly, she often manages to make them trust her enough to reveal some important information about their murders. People like Yurika, Asahi or Shun can't talk to Eiji at all, but they feel much safer around Miki. But of course, Miki definitely has her weaknesses and one of them is her refusing to accept that people can do bad things just because they want to and not because they had no other choice. She genuinely believes that all Milgram prisoners are innocent and she will even come up with tragic backstories for them to make them look more sympathetic. What about her other weakness? Well.. pretty boys. That's it, that's what easily makes her vote some male prisoners innocent.

MV info.

Which canon Milgram song she would cover: Again. Undercover.

Which DECO*27 song she would cover: I know that this song was made for Project Sekai, but listen. Her cover of Journey would sound so cute..

If she could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: Menhera Janai Mon! by Isana

Her Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"Ah- H-hello everyone! My name is.. um.. Andou Miki.. I'm 18 years old and I'm a high school student. As you can see, I'm not the best person for this job. I cry a lot, I'm too weak, I get scared easily.. B-but!.. I want to give you all a chance to atone for your sins!"

"Out of all the people in this world.. No matter what horrible things they've done, I'm the one who doesn't deserve to be forgiven."

Trivia:

Just a fun fact: I originally planned to have only one guard OC and that OC was Eiji. But I realized that it wouldn't make much sense for someone like him to vote someone innocent, especially during Trial 1 even if he's controlled by the audience, so I decided to give him a friend :) Also I thought that it would be very interesting to see two guards who have completely different opinions, but they still have to make a choice together.

I got an idea for my first guard OC when i remembered how Jackalope said that "the guard is so naive this time" or something like that in the first voice drama. I immediately went "OHHHHHH 👁️👁️". I really wanted to think about what the past guards could be like and how cruel they could be and that's how Eiji was created!

Yes, Eiji is the one who will punish the guilty prisoners. He's scarier than Kotoko because he's the guard. You literally can't stop him, you can't vote him guilty or anything like that. If you vote someone guilty, that's it, Eiji will take care of them as he said. Not all of his punishments are physical, some of them are more about the prisoners' mental state. For example, Prisoner ??? would get handcuffed to the prisoner they're very scared of and they would be forced to share a cell with that prisoner, if they get voted guilty. What makes it even worse is that the other prisoner actually likes them a lot and wants to become closer with them. And Prisoner ??? would get their own special cell and they would be isolated from the rest of the prisoners and they would never have to leave that cell. Eiji would also force other prisoners to ignore them or even bully them. And all of that happens after they committed their crime because of not getting enough attention (or getting the kind of attention they didn't want)..

You're probably wondering, how the voting would go in this timeline. Like, do Eiji and Miki go to sleep and wake up after the voting is over, just like Es? Nope, they actually have to discuss their opinions before they can finally vote. And because one of them wants to vote everyone guilty meanwhile the other one wants to vote them innocent.. They have to try and convince each other to change their opinion and agree with the other guard. Basically, Miki has to make Eiji vote someone innocent and he has to make her vote someone guilty. When they're done, they vote for that prisoner together and that prisoner gets their final verdict. This explains why some prisoners still get voted innocent in canon even though.. well, Eiji exists. Miki is actually smarter than she looks like and she's capable of making him agree with her.

As mentioned earlier, "Guard 001" and "Guard 002" are not their official titles, that's just something they call themselves sometimes.

No, Eiji and Miki don't even know that Jackalope exists (and fem!Jackalope too, if we're going with the novel timeline)! They don't meet any rabbits and they have to do everything on their own. It doesn't mean that Jackalope doesn't exist in this universe, it just means that Eiji and Miki are most likely simply being watched.

Speaking of Jackalope, since he's the one who cooks for the canon prisoners, but Eiji and Miki don't meet him, Eiji has to do his job because he's better at cooking than Miki. Surprisingly, the food he makes is actually very good and hey, it's not even poisoned! When Miki asked him about it, he said that poisoning all prisoners would be an easy way to punish them, but it would be too boring.

.. I probably don't have to explain why Eiji is covered in bandages now that you've read his voicelines, but still. When you have a sibling who often gets very bad mood swings and who tends to get violent because of them.. it doesn't end well. I won't describe everything Kei did to Eiji, but trust me when I say that even though Miki can convince him to vote other prisoners innocent, he will still vote Kei guilty. He wants his own brother to be executed right in front of him. And no, it's not because of revenge, in fact, he gets offended when Miki mentions that. He just thinks Kei deserves it and not just because of what he did to Eiji, but also because of what he did to other people.

Because some of Eiji's injuries are still not fully healed even though so many years have passed, it's actually very hard for him to walk and even move. He refuses to get any help because he's afraid he won't look as intimidating as he wants, but eventually he gives up and allows Miki to carry him when he feels too tired. And yes, Miki is actually very strong.

Both of them eventually get their character development: Eiji agrees to vote some prisoners innocent, if Miki can prove that they really deserve forgiveness, meanwhile Miki becomes more confident and refuses to go along with everything Eiji says because she's also a prison guard and not just his assistant as everybody thinks. She's also a guard, so she has a right to have her own opinion and she doesn't have to nod and go "Yes, you're right, Eiji-san!.." every time he says something.

Some prisoners assumed they were a couple at first, but these two eventually start to view each other as siblings. Eiji gets a cute little sister he never had and Miki gets a reliable older brother who can be a bit too much sometimes, but still has good intentions. Their relationship is surprisingly wholesome when you forget about the whole voting thing, because Eiji teaches Miki to be more confident and he wants her to stop being a doormat, and Miki wants Eiji to know that forgiving people for what they've done to him doesn't necessarily mean forgetting about their sins and saying that they're not a big deal. He can just let those people go.

Both of them remember their past, unlike Es, but they don't know why they're here. And speaking of family-like dynamics, Eiji and Miki suspect that they were chosen as guards because they have some kind of connection to the prisoners here. Not all of them, but only two of them. Eiji obviously has to judge his own brother, but what about Miki? She remembers her past very clearly, but she has no idea who she's connected to..

[jechristine]

I also feel like tumblr is low stakes coz no one has to worry about z seeing anything she might feel like she has to hide. Which is why i think instagram and twitter stans police each other when it comes to that (a lil too much sometimes) coz there's a possibility she might see it. In general I feel like all speculation is harmless so long as it doesn't get back to the people being speculated about. But also speculation doesn't change what the truth is which none of us can be certain about, outside looking in etc. Whatever, I'm trying to say is that its harmless so long as #they don't see it and those on the deep end don't treat it as a fact lol

I hear what you’re saying as Zendaya & Tom are human beings, and (with a few specific exceptions ngl) I don’t want to see any human being suffer.

That said, the ethics of fandom is something I think about from time to time, and i think I disagree with the implication that fans are responsible for celebrities’ feelings.

What follows is probably going to be controversial😬

As I see it, the “Zendaya” that I and you interact with is closer to a fictional character than to a person we know in real life. (If you want to get really philosophical, I’d say that we’re all characters to some extent.) It’s not a good or a bad thing; it just is. That’s how and why celebrity culture functions. The transformation from irl person to character—or maybe “avatar” is a better word—is what enables us to connect and engage with Zendaya or any famous person, and it’s also what she then commodifies to have her career and buy her houses…and pay for her private security so that we don’t overreach and threaten the real person’s safety. I’ve blogged about how she’s raised her profile to create her career, and she’s done that as everyone would by becoming a celebrity-avatar. We live in a sm age that’s extremely conducive to doing so but famous people have been at it for centuries.

I do think that process of fictionalization and commodification is probably tough on the psyche, and I’m not without sympathy. If I were Zendaya’s friend and knew she was lurking on social media, I’d ask her what the hell she was doing and tell her to get off and out of there ASAP. I’d tell her to have Scotty or whomever run her public accounts and to personally use WhatsApp or something else private to share photos and thoughts among family and friends. Tbh, I find Zendaya’s social media habits…curious. I know she’s less engaged than she’s been in years past. She probably still has fun with some engagement, and it’s probably very hard to resist interacting! At the same time, I assume she’s at least partly there because she wants fans to be nervous about what they post; she wants to control what they do to what she probably sees as her “Zendaya” avatar; essentially, she at least a bit wants fans to work for her. I completely understand why she would want all of that and I probably would, too, but at the same time I don’t think that kind of control is really fair either, especially since I’m pretty sure she’s not paying those big IG accounts or Twitter accounts to boost her image and help her sell her movie tickets, which they most definitely are, and I think she’s instead manipulating parasocial feelings, which is free to do and very lucrative.

This may sound cold-hearted, but that’s all to say that I’m not too much concerned with the real-life Zendaya and her feelings. Those are the responsibility of her, her loved ones, the professionals she’s hired, and perhaps her therapist. I’m not responsible for hers just as she’s not responsible for mine. I don’t owe her anything just as she doesn’t owe me anything. I wouldn’t be mean or spread hate because I’m not a sociopath and don’t want to put bad things into the world, and I wouldnt harass anyone at all. I also freely use “Zendaya” as a way to think and talk in my little corner and sometimes to have fun around trivial stuff. But at the end of the day I’m here for me and for the people I’m talking to, not for Zendaya Coleman.

If she is reading tumblr and would like to respond to this post I’m all ears, but then she would have completely changed the nature of our “relationship,” and I would probably never blog here again haha

[wild-ditto-appeared]

ooc: hey guys I'm making a comic based on my character ocs. tbh I was inspired by the Generic Y Protagonist Trainer comics (I forget who made them but I will edit this post as soon as I look it up and link you to their tumblr without tagging them) because I realized their concept for their character was similar to my Legends: Arceus AU for these characters and I just kinda felt validated, even if it's a bit redundant. I dunno if I really wanna make it go as long as they did--it'd be really cool if I did tho-- and I'm not very experienced in the art of comic-making, even if I'm decent enough at making art for being self-taught.

I usually prefer to write about more complicated things like this, but this is good practice for me, plus it's already helped me learn how to use ProCreate a bit better. I'll write a summary about it down here and you guys can let me know if you want me to post the comic. I'll be posting it on @sylviareviar, my main account, since this account is solely dedicated to Ditto.

EDIT: The artist for Generic Y Protagonist is: oceandiagonale

---

So, first and foremost, there are three protagonists, not just one. The way Legends: Arceus starts, it leaves it up to your imagination whether Arceus dragged a kid out of their modern lifestyle into Hisui or they created a kid based around the people of the world of the future and modeled them around them, so that they could bring about revolutionary ideas to the world of the past, which seems to be in trouble.

I decided to sort of combine those two. I have modern verses for these characters--one of whom I used to consider my self-insert until I managed to develop her a bit more and she began sort of building up a personality somewhat separate from mine--and they are a family. Anyone who may have been here when this account was a RP account for these characters might recognize them, though I doubt it since I don't talk about them much, mostly because most people don't really like self-inserts (which is fair of them, but also pretty disheartening for me :') )

The way the story's developing--and I'm making all this up on the spot based on the concept I had--it seems to be starting out with the oldest sibling, not my self-insert character, which I think is interesting.

Basically, all three of them were made at the same time to be copies of existing Trainers in present-day Sinnoh: Jack, Sylvia, and Lucy Reviar. They have been given a single mission: Seek out all Pokemon. I've decided that's what this comic will be called, too. Comic/fic, I mean.

In SOAP--oh god I never tried to make this an acronym until now and it's fucking soap-- In SOAP, the story begins with Jack, who was one of three shooting stars that shot out from the rift above Mt. Coronet. He is, unlike the protagonist in the games, severely injured and looks like he nearly drowned until he washed up ashore. Professor Laventon takes him in and gets him medical assistance with the help of his Pokemon.

When he awakes, he will have no memories, no nothing, but the clothes on his back and his Arc-Phone. And the Cyndaquil that claimed him because he was cold and she refused to leave. The concept is similar to Generic's spontaneous "existence" instead of his birthday, except that Jack doesn't really "know" anything so much as he knows things. I guess the best way to describe it would be mind versus heart. He knows things by instinct, but can't explain them. His mission is to seek out all Pokemon, but he doesn't know why or how, and he's thrown into the Galaxy Expedition Team when he is disoriented, confused, and barely remembers how to even use his vocal cords (though he will find them eventually).

I have a few ideas about his scattered sisters in the region, but all I can really say right now without giving away the whole story is that he knows he has two missing links--his sisters--and doesn't know where to find either of them. They all also have scattered memories of their "present" selves, the ones that grew up and lived in Sinnoh their whole lives, but I should stress they are copies of those original Trainers. They share their names, faces, bodies, etc. but they are not the same Trainers with the same experiences. Arceus (and in this case, I) are just not creative.

My headcanons aren't the same as the ones used in Generic's world, and my version takes much more inspiration from the anime than the game worlds, but I won't deny that there's a lot of inspiration happening here. I just hope it's different enough--or at least, as different as a story as specific as PL:A allows, especially if I want to focus on three different protagonists at the same time.

My art style might be inconsistent and I might not depict things as well as I'd like, so sometimes I might just write ficlets under the artwork to try and make it make more sense. If any of you guys are interested, please let me know. If not, I can just continue working on this by myself.