#which that part is good bc we want people who are legit interested coming in for it! but holy shit they raised the standards

[archirdarchernar]

Milgram: Deep Cover Thoughts (Spoilers)

(some of the post written a few hours after, mainly bc deep cover released in between 2 of my mocks)

(all of this is personal opinion and interpretations, take this with a grain of salt or pepper or your choice of powdery food flavouring)

AHJDHR JUST FINISHED WATCHING DEEP COVER

its so good i thoroughly applaud the animators for their work. the colours and the design and ajdhkdhrr

i love staring at how they draw eyes like wtf??? that animation budget must be really high like the transformation and the BLOOD-

okay onto more lore-y thoughts:

(this part is me rambling at my screen trying to form a coherent theory of what happened, there are a lot of random stray thoughts here)

kotoko seems to be the 'punish > solve the systemic issue' type of person. we see that in the way she interacts with the brown-haired girl that she saved. when the girl grabbed onto her we see her conflicted eyes. to me it seemed partially out of desperation??(could just be the adrenaline high of her murder, we also see her sweaty so theres that. murder takes a lot of energy guys), or like she doesnt know what to do with herself. like she wants to push the girl away but felt like she could not (maybe knew that if she pushed her away she might harm the girl even more psychologically...). after that we see her barely acknowledging the brown haired girl in the park, seemingly more interested in the article on her phone than the girl she saved...

also, i found a post where someone translated the article!

to paraphrase, the son of a newspaper company's CEO was found dead (shocker, probably Kotoko's victim). The article goes on to talk about how a female university student had killed him in self defence due to getting into a scuffle as she caught him kidnapping a minor (so. definitely kotoko. probably). The minor agreed with the student that it was self-defence. The company's CEO then came out with an independent report all the injuries that they found on his son, which indicated that more than proportional violence was used, and then announced that the victim retracted her statement. The article then mentions all the rumors that exist about this murder...

interesting.

then that scene. that face of absolute fear on the girl and the uncaring apathy on kotoko's face. we clearly see the young girl trying to wear the cap, we see her basically modelling herself after kotoko. who can blame her? that's the person who saved her from... a life of suffering, probably. So to see kotoko ignoring her like that would absolutely destroy her.

so is kotoko just that heartless? no. or at least, i don't think so. remember the article? 'the victim retracted her statement'. this can happen for many reasons, such as being coerced, forced, bribed, etc. no matter why she did it, this would cast a lot of questions to the credibility of this case. maybe kotoko was legit mad? like 'if you don't want to be saved, i can't save you'. or she thought distancing herself from the victim would be the best thing to do, cuz otherwise people would argue that the two of them conspired together to murder a person and pass it off as a 'heroic deed'. by distancing herself, more of the 'blame' if it ever comes would fall on her. maybe she thought this was the best course of action in this scenario, so at least the girl would seem less 'co-conspirator' and more 'young child who was coerced'. either way, even without counting kotoko's bloodlust in the background, this is a fucked situation.

and yes, the prison seems to be composed of 5 direct and 5 indirect killers, kotoko being an indirect one. we know that she has actually, physically killed a person. the fact that she's in the prison for an indirect murder means that she didn't even consider that guy as a person (lol) or a being worth caring about.

so my running theory of what happened is:

(this part is just consolidation of the theory, above is rambling)

kotoko went after a the newspaper CEO's son, and found him kidnapping the child in that warehouse. then, she beat him up and possibly killed him with excessive force (i.e. the force she used was 'not proportional to the violence about to be inflicted onto her' or smth, im paraphrasing here but that's the gist. and i really mean 'possibly', ill elaborate later). after that, she reported the case to... probably the police? and claimed in court that she found CEO's son kidnapping a minor, then the interaction got violent and she had no choice but to kill him, with the help of the child's testimony. after that, she was released with no charges. (assuming that when the translation says 'the verdict...' it means that the trial has concluded, the judging body(japan doesn't have a jury. for serious criminal cases, they have a 'saiban-in'. look it up for more info abt this) has deemed kotoko free of all charges or smth, and now she walks free.)

but after THAT, the CEO got an independent investigation that reported those injuries, and they believe them to be inflicted not in self-defence but with intent to harm. this is where the idea that she might have killed him to sate her bloodlust comes from. while i do agree on some aspects, remember this is an 'independent investigation', and this is a CEO whose money speaks. also, what you're telling me is that the forensics who looked into the body did not believe the wounds were due to 'excessive force' (bc if that was the case the trial should have gone very very differently), but the group that you independently hired did. i mean, a little bit suspect about the level of validity of that claim, don't you think? (this is assuming that everyone in the trial was competent at their job and no foul play was present. if not, ignore this section.)

the CEO also claimed that the child retracted her testimony (that would be perjury, since that would be admitting that you were lying to the court. japan seems to have laws against perjury, but im not very sure how enforceable it really is, or if people actually get charged with it.). this casts doubt on the verdict and both kotoko's and the victim's credibility in the eyes of the public, you know how the public is. and in a case like this, where the one trying to get someone in jail is someone with money and influence to do private investigations and press conferences, the impact it can have on the life of the other party can get insanely negative. they could have their lives absolutely ruined by this, being publicly shamed this way, while the CEO walks away looking like a caring father 'just looking to avenge his child'. i think the following are plausible:

1st case scenario: im not a legal expert, so REALLY don't blindly believe this, but if this means the child is legally retracting her testimony that she made in front of the court, during a trial, this would require the child to reach out to the law enforcement entities to get it passed, and that might warrant a re-trial of the original trial. in other words, in this scenario kotoko is seriously fucked (probably). so kotoko avoiding the child and/or being pissed is.. personally i think there are better ways to handle this situation, one of which is get yourself a damn good lawyer and hope for the best, kotoko- but not unordinary.

2nd case scenario(more likely in my personal opinion): of course, there's always the case that all this is made up. in which case, kotoko would still have a reason to avoid the child, in that it's the most logical course of action to avoid unnecessary harm to the child. if she acts friendly to the child in public, there's a chance that the child will be seen as a co-conspirator to the 'murder'. also since its a guy with money who's speaking out, it's likely that public opinion would wholy turn against her. and the child, who helped defend kotoko in court, well... even more harrassment, probably. death threats, likely.

in both cases, her and the child would probably receive harrassment, which i think is a possible motive for the child getting killed. (i'm assuming that the child was the one who kotoko feels like she's killed, because she was put in milgram for indirect murder to complete the 5:5 ratio)

And then she becomes a furry.

yay? well, i think the wolf is supposed to be a symbolic of the monster that she now sees herself as. remember, if the version of events i described above is true then she probably faced a lot of social isolation. she has to distance herself from the victim that she helped and got close(? somewhat attached? like cmon she may be distracted with the very important life changing article but she doesn't outright ignore her, and that the chlid showed up to meet her implies that the child had an expectation that kotoko would be accepting of her company... right?) to, and many of her peers probably isolated themselves away from her (being a victim of a crime in japan can often be just as hard on a person's social life as being the perpetrator of said crime, so im not surprised if she was socially isolated by others AND herself). the lack of social support is the start of a mental downward spiral.

also, she keeps referring to herself as a tool and that she needs a next 'target'. so somewhere along the line, she stopped viewing herself as a person but merely a tool to enact justice with. because that's all she is now, she's caused the death of someone she swore to protect, the emotions are too overwhelming, please just give me something - anything - else to focus on; she's a monster, but if that's the case then so be it, she will be a monster with a purpose: eliminating the dregs of society, because that way at least she's of some use to society, otherwise-

otherwise, she's just a regular old monster.

[beartitled]

Bear i genuinely need to know if you are on 15 coffees. How did you do that so detailed and nice????? How did you nake it so cool???? How do you have the talent and motivation???? How long did you draw to achieve this godly skill???

💕💞❤️💖💕Awwwww thank you 💕❤️💖💕💞❤️

Fun fact I actually don’t drink coffee (😨*shocked audience sounds*😨) or at least drink it very rarely, I dunno it just makes me more sleepy? for some reason? which is hilarious in this context

Hehe man I need to concentrate, but I can’t stop smiling

I’m very happy that people actually liked my picture book, it legit sends me away because it’s a personal project which took a ton of effort

Like fan arts, megadrawings, fan comics those are also mean a lot and made with love, but this project feels like showing a part of your soul

And when you see people actually enjoying it- just- ❤️💕💖💞💕❤️*ecstatic bear noises*💕❤️💖💕💞💕 *happy tiny jumps*💖💕❤️💕💖💞💖

(oki lemme put all my thoughts under read more, bc I didn’t expect to write that much 💥)

Answering the questions

I just love detailed stuff✨ Plus when you work on something for a long time, you can kinda think of something or subconsciously add even more visual details

Motivation comes from just a wish to finish something most of the time

When I work on big projects (that take months for example) I tend to go into 💪grind💪 state, where you just dedicate your entire time to making something

It a very interesting thing, because your life literally becomes this project for a few months, you wake up with a goal and make your day as productive as possible (after I finish something I can have a mini crisis, like wait this thing is over, wait I can do something different.. no I NEED A PURPOSE 💥💥💥 *aggressively starts yet another comic*)

Also I feel like uni played a major role in my productivity rate, bc you can have multiple projects in one semester and plus to that an assignment that just adds on every week

Imagine like inktober, but you decided to take 5 more prompt lists and every drawing you make is criticised by professor (so you need to make edits or redo your entire work)

This type of constant pressure just kinda makes you a different person in a way, at least it was my experience with it

And how much time (hehe don’t make me blush it’s not godly 👉👈), well entire life basically + almost 4 years of uni

Also wanted to say for people who are starting or just feel overwhelmed by other artists skills:

🫵Everyone starts with crappy pony drawings 🫵 (at least I did) (man if I ever find my first drawings I will show them)

The funniest thing is, I started drawing not because I wanted it to be good or to impress people

I just wanted a pony picture 💥 in a funky dress 💥💥 and my mum said “I’m tired of drawing horses for you, go do it yourself” 💥💥💥 and I did 💥‼️💥‼️💥💥

A lot of people chuckled at me bc the drawings were crappy, but I didn’t care 💥📣🗣️I’m the one holding a paper horse in a dress, not you 💥📣🗣️

So like, don’t sweat it, no art is bad – you put effort, you made it, it’s already worth attention and love

The idea of “good” is flawed and very vague anyway

The feeling of doubt is also normal, everyone has it time to time, without it we wouldn’t be able to improve

Just don’t let those thoughts consume you: appreciate your work and yourself 🫵❤️

Anyway thank you for this ask, it’s very sweet of you ❤️

Makes me incredibly happy that someone likes my stuff 🥺❤️💕💖🥺❤️💞

[alonelystargazer]

I started reading kagurabachi a couple of weeks ago and now I'm fully caught up with it and my general opinion so far is that it's actually pretty good!

the plot is perhaps a bit formulaic but still quite interesting (maybe I'm biased bc I love revenge stories) and it moves fairly quickly without leaving too much info behind, plus the action is so dynamic but easy to follow, and there are some legit super cool panels

SPOILER REVIEW BELOW

just a few of my favorite panels

(as you might be able to tell I love seeing the fishes teehee)

Quick summary of the plot: the MC is a young guy named Chihiro Rokuhira who's out for revenge after his father Kunishige, one of Japan's most famous swordsmiths, was killed 3 years before, and those same people, a group of evil sorcerers known as the ?, stole all 6 of his father's enchanted swords, but chihiro has a 7th special sword that his father kept secret from everyone but him.

Edit: this might be important for some people so I'll add that Chihiro is 18, since we saw him with his dad as a 14 going on 15 year old and the story fast forwards to more than 3 years later in the first chapter, which would make him 18

He's joined by his father's best friend, a sorcerer named Shiba who becomes his mentor and informant about the shady business going on in Tokyo, Azami who's another sorcerer and friend of his father's and Shiba, a little girl named Char who comes from a family that has the ability to regenerate their body parts and is being hunted for it, a young woman named Hinao who's a weapons dealer, and later on another young man named Hakuri who comes from a different sorcerer family but defected bc he's the only one who doesn't know sorcery (and was abused).

Personality wise, Chihiro is the more level-headed, serious, and reserved type but shows great care and sympathy for those who need help, for ex. when he helps out char from being hunted and experimented on, and when he traded his beloved sword for Hakuri. His father had a huge impact on his philosophy about life and weapons.

He does want revenge for his father's death, but his greatest motivation however is to prevent anyone from tarnishing his father's legacy which are his enchanted swords, bc kunishige made sure to let Chihiro know that his swords are weapons first and foremost, and when put in the wrong hands are destructive and lethal.

The power system is fairly simple, based in sorcery, which for Chihiro is channeled through his enchanted sword called Enten from which 3 different goldfish, each having their own ability, appear (and the goldfish are the same ones his father had before he died: a black goldfish, a red one, and a spotted one).

The enchanted swords that Kunishige made come from a rock (?) called datenseki, which we don't know much about yet.

And about the first antagonist we meet, Sojo. He's a weapons dealer in the black market and does other criminal activities. He also has one of the 6 enchanted swords that was stolen, this one called Cloud Gouger. To me, this fight is reminiscent to Yuji vs Mahito in the Shibuya arc of Jujutsu Kaisen, in the sense that Chihiro has to accept that despite what he personally believes about his father and his swords, Sojo also can have his own contradictory beliefs bc it's the person who wields the sword that gets to determine it's fate. Chapter 12: Tea I believe is pivotal in Chihiro's development and is one of the best chapters so far. I like the metaphor with Sojo offering Chihiro dango, which he refuses at the beginning (he says he doesn't like sweets) and by the end eats it, even if doesn't like it, because it reflects his acceptance with Sojo's philosophy about the blades.

The only thing I think might not to be everyone's taste is the art style, but if course art is subjective, although it does suffer a bit from same face syndrome at times.

But I think the art is unique with its use of shading and perspective, and there are some really cool character designs, plus something that stands out to me is that the fight choreography is made to be a spectacle.

As a long time shipper, I feel like I should address the shipping dynamics that I've seen, which there aren't too many yet, but I still wanna talk about. So the main ship I've seen is between Chihiro and Hakuri, which these panels I think are fueling the fire for it and I can totally see it and wanna see more from their budding friendship. What's the ship name btw? hakuhiro?

Besides that, I've also seen Shiba/Kunishige, and Sojo/Kunishige but that's definitely a one sided admiration on Sojo's part.

One criticism I've found is that there's a character named Daruma who is after Chihiro and Char and is originally depicted in a way, which to me, looks to be black characteristics, like the hair and facial features, but after Shiba convinced him to leave his life of crime behind, his look changes. For example, his hair becomes straight, so what's up with that? Now to be fair, since the manga is in grayscale, we don't know what his skin color is but he has no shading to skin which in my experience of reading manga means that a character is light skin.

Other than that, there's nothing else I can find fault in, so give it a read (there's 25 chapters so far!)

[lokislytherin]

JAY HONG CONSPIRACIES

ok so y'all know i love hong jaeyeol / jay and i believe he should have more canonical importance due to the role ptj-nim gave him not only as a good friend of daniel and potential love interest, but also as a strong fighter in his own right, and the son of steve hong, who seems to have more canonical importance than his son (who is part of the OG Squad) at this point.

hence i am creating my own headcanons about jaeyeol's past, present and future, some of which are definitely not going to happen in lookism but i'm just creating them for Fic Purposes.

the valid ones will probably age like cheese but hey! if it ages like cheese it means jay's back in canon so we should all celebrate that together instead! if some of the valid ones age like fine wine someone should hire to me to be their ghostwriter so i can use them as a stepladder to fame as an independent writer /j i'm already working on being an independent writer

anyway here goes nothing!

1. WHY DOESN’T HE SHOW HIS EYES

pretty boy: he has the most beautiful eyes ever, or he has heterochromia, and he's just shy / ashamed / scared of showing them which is sad because we all want to see his eyes come on ptj it's been over 8 whole years since lookism was first published i just want to know if he has eyes man

unlimited powaaaa: he'd be too powerful if he could see properly so ptj nerfed him like gojo satoru blindfold self-nerfing and booted him from the canon timeline

galaxy brain crack aus: he has no eyes that's it. he's medusa and if he looks at people they will turn to stone. he's got shojo manga female protagonist eyes and we'll all pass out immediately if we saw them because they’re too powerful (jaeyeol with gojo satoru style eyes? we’d all die fr)

2. WHY DOESN’T HE TALK

potential to be legit: selective mutism + he'll talk in his own time, he's mute full stop and cannot talk

galaxy brain crack aus: past hanahaki surgery bc he’s implied gay and we all know the effect of societal norms on lookism arcs (been there doing that), he's Really Bad At Socializing so he just Doesn't (doing a komi au for that)

3. WHAT’S WITH HIS PAST?

traumatic gay backstory: came out and didn’t get accepted by the family except joy over time bc she’s a Good Sister, steve hong was like ‘damn i can’t let the public know my son is Gay’ so basically kicked him out of the house but let him have an allowance bc he’s a c- parent (barely above the pass grade but he’s better than what we know of canonical khun eduan from tower of god who i am ranking as a failing grade, and daniel’s mom is s rank parent)

second son vs politics: first son kitae is the most important one bc he’s the one taking on the family business. only daughter joy is also important politically because she could get married off in the future for business partnerships. ideally you want to keep the power so marrying off your second son isn’t that great even if you don’t really care much about him and he doesn’t really care much about what you do, so you just keep him around and he does his thing and you get annoyed because his ‘thing’ involves smoking, driving motorcycles and almost breaking speed limits, beating people up, etc. oh yes you are steve hong.

slightly unseiso and definitely canonically impossible but potential fic material: aboverse. jay excommunicated from the family because he’s an omega born into a family of alphas. the social power scaling could be so interesting to explore because 1) the contrast between the stereotypical submissive and breedable omega who needs to be protected and kickass protector figure jay who is fully capable of taking down his own opponents and then yours as well unless he gets paired up with people like logan lee 2) i believe in switch jaeseok supremacy and i don’t see a lot of bottom jay fics on ao3 but at the same time it would be cool for omega!jay to top and overcome the social stigma attached to being an omega

3. WHAT’S HE DOING NOW?

med student: he quit j high to pursue a degree in medicine because he’s Serious about being a doctor and helping daniel like that, that’s why he had his 1 panel cameo. he just went back to visit his old classmates in hopes that daniel would be there

op character arc: he’s being trained like an anime protagonist rn. miss sophia trained him when he was young, maybe he went to miss sophia again or he went to another master and he’s getting even more deadly at systema and kali arnis so he can fight and protect daniel better! he’s preparing for his Main Protagonist Character Arc or he’s just doing it off screen rip

detective arc: he’s trying to figure out what happened to big daniel through sleuthing and Rich Boy Ways. will do this fix it au in the future

this is way too long. i should’ve made it a thread. but i hope yall had fun reading lmao?? feel free to expand on any of my ideas please i like Discussion if i expand on this i’ll rb too

[zmediaoutlet]

for the Bro Bone Bang, bc I had an afternoon free and why not, and isn't that in the spirit of bro boning, really?

rating: E length: 3100 tags: Established Relationship, Post-Episode: s10e06 Ask Jeeves, Face-Fucking

summary: Sam's looking for an old book; Dean's looking for a distraction.

for the @brobonebang prompt: in a dusty occult bookshop

***

“Dude, what is taking so long? I think I’m spontaneously developing asthma down here.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Sam says, but absently, because he’s paging through this book and—this might actually be the real thing, he’s thinking. A lot of it’s gibberish and there’s a lot of really fanciful business about dancing under the moonlight in the altogether (along with illustrations, which he really can’t show Dean or he’ll never get the book back), but some of these demon-summoning sigils look legit, and if those are legit then maybe this part, this part toward the back where the writing gets more serious—

“I’ve got the black lung,” comes Dean’s voice, a whole lot closer, and a hand settles on Sam’s lower back at the same time that he jerks, feeling caught somehow. Dean coughs, high and fake and pathetic, his flashlight pointed up toward his chin like a horror story. He mimes big sad eyes for a half-second and then smiles at Sam, perfectly irritating. “You know, that movie wasn’t half-bad.”

“If you ever say blue steel again it’ll be too soon,” Sam says, half-hiding the book. He doesn’t know why—Dean’s not interested.

Dean narrows his eyes at him, makes a half-hearted version of that stupid face, and then swings his flashlight up through the hanging crystals and the overly-gilt mirrors and the dusty bookshelf Sam’s been raiding, because on their way back from Connecticut he remembered a note in the Letters’ archive about an occult shop outside Trenton that had been a real marketplace, at least back in the ‘40s, and at this point Sam’s in the market for absolutely anything that will get that foul sore thing off of Dean’s arm.

Not, again, that Dean’s interested: “Can we go? I don’t know why you need more of this crap, not like we don’t have enough back home.”

“Why are you so antsy?” Sam says. He shoves the book into his bag, along with a few other odds and ends he’s picked up. Dean was playing with a huge brass-engraved magnifying glass downstairs—it’d be a good surprise, for when they get home, if he can pick it up without Dean noticing. Dean’s slow to answer and Sam zips up his backpack, turns around, finds Dean twirling the flashlight back and forth in his hands, making a weird zigzag pattern on the dusty carpet. “Dude, seriously. You’re like a little kid with a sugar rush.”

Or a murder-addict who’s just done a murder, his brain supplies.

Dean lifts a shoulder, sets the flashlight down on a table filled with faux-magical dreck—pointed up, like Sam’s, so that their little nook up here is filled with a thin barely-there light. “Want to get home,” he says. Surprisingly sincere. “I don’t know. Been a while. And—” He bites his lip, flash of white teeth in the dark. Sam raises his eyebrows, and Dean lifts a shoulder again. “Well, it was—kinda weird. Everybody knew we were brothers. Felt like—best behavior required, you know, when I just wanted to tell those cougar broads how big your dick really is.”

Sam blinks. Dean smiles at him, wide as a shark. “Wow,” he says, flat, “so—not a sugar rush but more of a—”

“A dick rush is totally a thing,” Dean says, crowding in, and Sam holds up his hands but just in surprise, really. He’s caught between the bookshelf and a curio cabinet with all manner of weird taxidermied birds and ugly cameos of people long-dead and Dean’s thigh sliding warm and easy along his, his hands on Dean’s chest and then on Dean’s waist, Dean immediately and thoroughly here, the smell of him, his heat. Feels like he burns hotter, since getting the mark.

Sam isn’t actually turned on by books in dead languages, no matter what Dean says, but with all this in his arms he’s getting there. Dean murmurs, “Maybe it’s a ball rush,” and he snorts, and Dean pushes his nose up against the bolt of Sam’s jaw and breathes out hot along his neck and whispers, “or a jizz rush, you think? All hopped up on your spooj?” and Sam groans, pinches Dean’s side, feels Dean’s mouth stretch into a grin against the hollow of his throat, and then he kisses there, and Sam gets a hand in his hair, feels it. Nice. Sweet, but then there’s teeth against his collarbone and it’s less sweet, and his dick really does start to wake up, then, a warm surge from his balls to his guts, Dean’s hair soft against the underside of his chin, Dean’s hands creeping up under his flannel, scratching through his undershirt.

“Thought the whole point was you didn’t get any,” Sam manages, and Dean hums against his throat, where he’s reapplied his mouth, with a hint of teeth. “Can’t be a jizz rush if you haven’t gotten some, right? Don’t you dare give me a hickey.”

“Like you wouldn’t love it,” Dean says, with enough of an edge that Sam’s eyes open again onto the half-dark, surprised—turned on—hard to tell, at this point. He does bite, but only a quick sharp nip, and Sam grips him by the freshly-cut hair, pulls him back, looks down, and Dean’s smiling, lazy, wide. His eyes are so dark they almost, almost look—but then Dean turns his head and Sam catches the white edge and his heart restarts, and thumps heavier in his throat, his fingertips cold, his dick—yeah, he’s interested.

“What are you thinking?” Sam says. He drags a hand down Dean’s chest, feels the soft of it, his giving skin. Only been a week or so, since they finished up that job with Kate and did quite a bit of celebrating—it should be easy to wait, but. Dean comes in against his throat again, pressing against him full-body, and Sam maybe sees what Dean means, about the rush. There’s a motel that they were vaguely heading toward before they broke in here, but maybe they could get one a little closer.

“I’m thinking,” Dean says, soft, “how that table could probably hold our weight,” and Sam gets a chance to say, what, before Dean drags him bodily backwards, and they stagger two steps with Sam matching Dean’s strides before Dean’s ass hitches up against the table and—it shifts a good four inches but holds, against the carpet, and some overpriced glass thing goes crashing over the edge, but who cares because Dean’s getting his legs around Sam’s hips and dragging Sam down over the top of him by his hair and Sam barely catches his weight on the table but then he’s kissing Dean, so everything else seems kind of secondary, at that point.

Dean kisses—fiercer, now. Wanting more, now. Sam thinks he knows why and it should worry him but it’s frankly hot as fuck, and he gets a grip on Dean’s hip and gives as good as he gets, biting Dean’s bottom lip and making him groan, smearing his mouth along Dean’s jaw, biting there—hard pressure between them, Dean’s nails dragging against his neck, heat rising. Fuck—yeah, it’s good, Dean wanting him this badly. Like those first heady days, a decade ago, when they were scared and young and hurting and only this made it better, except now—

“I will pay you ten dollars if you suck my dick,” Dean says, and Sam laughs, goes for his belt right away, says, “Little low, don’t you think?” while he crushes his crotch right up against Dean’s, grinding through the double-layer of denim, and Dean blinks at him all stupid and doesn’t seem to know how to let Sam’s hair go, his thighs clenching around Sam’s hips. Sam grins at him, takes another taste of his mouth—hot, absurdly plush—whispers against his lips, “Buy me dinner, at least,” and breaks Dean’s hold to slide down his body and haul his jeans and boxers down the requisite distance and Dean’s dick slaps up against his stomach—christ, he really is hard, has been—maybe was getting hot for it downstairs, dicking around while Sam was trying to work, and Sam goes down on his knees while Dean pushes up on the table—some heavy curio sliding off and slamming into the carpet—and Sam doesn’t waste time, knows Dean’s dick and knows what he likes and spits on him, slicks it down with a fist, following right away with an open, soft mouth, gets Dean to groan like he’s been shot, gets him to give it up.

Yeah—better now, so much better than when they were younger. Sam’s only ever blown this dick and at this point he’s familiar with its behavior. Just the taste is good: bitter, always, because Dean’s diet is appalling, but the salt, the slight sweat—yeah, it’s good. Sam screws down to the base, knowing how to open right up, and Dean yelps, his hips arching, his thigh jerking against Sam’s shoulder. Sam lets him. He can hold Dean down but it’s more fun to have him all body-shock, sweating and staggered, helpless to whatever Sam wants to do to him. He releases the head from his throat with a gasp, lets the gooey spit track down as he slides his lips along the shaft, holding it in a loose grip while he licks firmly at Dean’s balls, dragging his tongue between them, almost-harsh in a way that Dean pretends he doesn’t like but always makes his dick spit wet.

“Christ alive,” Dean says, faint up above, and Sam smiles. He sucks in one nut, careful but not too careful, and Dean curls forward over him, groaning, gripping Sam’s hair hard enough that it really pulls. Another little pulse in Sam’s gut. He breathes through the noise he can’t help, drags soft teeth up the side of Dean’s shaft, goes back to work more seriously, shutting out the dust-smell and the worry that’s with him all the time these days and focusing on the fat soft sweetness of Dean’s cockhead under his tongue, the easy give of the slit when he drags his tongue through it, the way the ridge pops through his lips when he pulls all the way off, breathes hot over it, goes right back down. Dean came back from being a demon all clean-shaven, a bizarre surprise, but Sam likes it now, likes tracing over Dean’s soft skin and dragging his fingers down between Dean’s legs and finding him sweaty, bare, nothing between Sam and his goal.

Dean spreads his legs as wide as he can in his jeans, lets Sam play around. Sam nurses at the head of his dick, digs two knuckles hard into Dean’s taint and takes the drip of precome like a reward. Hard, low groan, and Dean cups the side of his head, fingers tangling in Sam’s hair, says, “Fuck, Sammy,” all thick and satisfied and admiring, too, like he forgot somehow that Sam would do this once a day if he could, like he doesn’t love every minute of getting Dean flat on his back and making him come so hard he forgets everything in the world that’s not this.

A shift, though—Dean’s thigh drags down Sam’s shoulder and he gets his boots back on the ground. His jeans slide down to his knees and Sam helps them along, enjoying the flex of Dean’s hamstrings, the pop of muscle in one quad when he shifts his weight. A hand on the back of his head, then—and one on his shoulder, keeping him close—and Dean feeds his dick all the way in, to the back of Sam’s throat, makes him cough—and he pulls back, lets Sam adjust, but he doesn’t let go. Sam blinks the tears away, looking up, and Dean’s looking right back at him, steady, mouth open and gleaming wet in the dim. Sam kneels up higher, palms Dean’s ass, takes a deep breath, and when Dean feeds in that time Sam takes him all the way to the base, nose ground against the shaved skin so tight he can feel the prickle of new growth, Dean’s ass flexing hard against his palms. Trying to get deeper. When Dean pulls out Sam gasps for air and says, raw, “Do it, come on—do it, if you’re going to—” and Dean shoves right back in, hard enough that Sam almost chokes, and he swallows and opens wide and pulls Dean in tighter, nails in his ass, and Dean laughs soft and high-wild up above him and says somewhere deep past the ringing in Sam’s ears you’re the best brother in the goddamn world, you know that? and then he fucks in, and Sam gives himself over to it, mindblanked, free.

Dean comes in his throat. He coughs and Dean ignores his coughing, crushes in deeper, groaning loud and keeping Sam ground down right against his crotch. Sam swallows, lightheaded, gripping Dean’s hips, and it’s not until Dean says fuck! and releases his hold on Sam’s hair that Sam can even taste him, thick and bitter and bleachy-familiar, this instant flush of absolute want thrumming through him the moment it registers. That flavor that’s meant Dean for a third of his life.

After coming Dean’s hands and thighs and knees are weak. Sam gets a hand on his wrist, knocks his legs out from under him, and he drops hard enough that it sounds like it hurts, but at this moment Sam doesn’t care, with his lips sore and his throat bruised—and Dean doesn’t care either, swaying against Sam as he gets to his feet, helping while Sam shoves his jeans out of the way, sliding boneless warmth over his hips, his waist, opening up easy for Sam’s dick, letting Sam slot it in past his throat in one quick slide. Fuck, the heat of him—the slick soft of him—his body so easy, opening up all around Sam, like it’s the only thing he’s wanted all day. The unaccustomed sharpness before is all gone and he takes Sam fucking into his throat like a doll, closing his lips and breathing heavy through his nose and looking up with this heavy-lidded addict’s gaze while Sam rides his face, his body loose, his skull heavy in Sam’s hands, his tongue fat and slick and everything about him the only thing, the only thing that makes it worth—the reason Sam—

Sam pulses, shuddering. He pulls out after the first furious flexing pump, creaming Dean’s throat and then jerking himself through the rest. Before he can pull away Dean kisses the head, takes a pump against his lips, and then his cheek when Sam slides his dick hot-eyed against his stubble, the prickle of it a spine-tingling jolt, Sam’s balls spasming and giving up another helpless spurt that jets across Dean’s cheekbone, gleaming in the dim.

“Lunatic,” Sam breathes, brain circling the drain, and Dean licks his fat lips and looks straight up at him and the jizz starts to drip, sliding into the hollow of his cheek, and Sam reaches down and hauls him up his jacket in one furious pull, drags him in against Sam’s body—they crash back against the curio cabinet and something smashes—and he licks in one broad swipe from the corner of Dean’s mouth to the corner of his eye, his own come saltier, strange—and Dean opens up easy when Sam feeds it right back into his mouth, kissing him deep, shoving in where Dean’ll have to swallow it.

Dean swallows. Sam presses their foreheads together, catching his breath, and Dean holds a flat hand against Sam’s chest, where his heart feels like he’s just coming down from a marathon. Their noses brush and Sam covers Dean’s hand. His breath slows, and the world comes back in like a lazy tide: the nine pm emptiness of the store; the smell of dust and cheap incense underlying the smell of sweat and come and warm end-of-day bodies; the way the carved edge of the cabinet might actually be doing something permanent to his kidney. He doesn’t want to move. Screw his kidney.

“How much magickal crap did we just break?” Dean says, soft against the edge of Sam’s jaw.

He doesn’t sound like he cares, much. Sam sighs. “We’ll leave Eleanora some cash.”

Dean huffs, and gets his other hand up against Sam’s chest, and pushes off with a groan. Sam’s eyes are well-adjusted enough that he can see every detail of Dean’s face. The crow’s feet, the easy relaxed curve of his mouth. Freckles, even, when they’re this close, and he lifts a hand and drags his thumb over Dean’s wet cheek, the skin tacky before it’s rough with growing beard. Dean looks back at him, steady. All his sharpness and frantic edge just… smoothed away, until he’s only Sam’s brother. The truest part.

Dean’s hand slides up to the side of his neck, squeezes softly. Heat at the back of Sam’s eyes, from nowhere, just from—how many times has Dean held him, just that way—and then Dean says, gentle, “My ass is getting cold here, man.”

Sam snorts. “Yeah,” he says, and the corner of Dean’s mouth lifts, and he ducks in and kisses Sam quick and close-lipped and then pushes entirely away to drag up his jeans. Sam zips up, redoes his belt, sitting still in the pool of warmth that feels like it’s issuing from somewhere around his breastbone. His head full, again, but only of—that last, best part. What counts, in the end, for everything.

“Damn,” Dean says, and Sam looks up to find him holding what looks like a pair of glass scales, cracked and refracting the light a hundred different ways. “I’m blaming you for that one.”

“Don’t even,” Sam says, and Dean smirks, but when they leave they pile the broken crap on the big old-fashioned cashier counter along with the four hundred bucks in cash they have between them. When Dean’s back is turned Sam slips the magnifying glass into his bag, too, and adds an extra twenty to the pile.

They re-lock the back door, re-arm the sad excuse for a security system. “Guess it was worth the pitstop after all,” Dean says, rocking on his heels in the damp alley.

“Guess so,” Sam says, thinking of the book in his bag. Cursed marks, damned souls.

Dean grins at him and it sparkles and that just hits Sam in the gut, like it always does, every time. “I’m thinking—a beer, and then we hit the motel in Wilmington, and in the morning we get those cinnamon rolls, you remember, at Sue-Ann’s? Big as your head, and that really is saying something?”

Sam sighs. “Sounds like a plan,” he says, and Dean says, “Awesome,” and Sam follows his brother to the car, loving him despite everything.

[spookyrobbins]

Can we discuss Eliza and Carina?

I don’t think they were going to be long term. I don’t think because of Callie but because of Sofia. I think Arizona dating with a kid is completely different from Arizona dating with a kid in NY. I don’t think Eliza would have gotten far with Sofia around.

now Carina. Arizona does not take her seriously at all. She legit does not care further than how much sex they can have. Carina says let me take you out. Arizona says how about we stay in and f**k. I don’t know if it was the sleeping with Owen or her not caring after Eliza. Carina decent conversation, good coworker and excellent sex buddy.

now Arizona needs a certain type of woman to get the relationship to progress for her to take them seriously. Confrontational. Lowkey a mess. They have to be vulnerable first. Dramatic. Fun. Judgey. Passionate and Clingy.

ofc! carina and eliza are majorly crucial to arizonas development when callie leaves for nyc

eliza imo reminds arizona of sort of how to be herself again, how she won’t implode without callie. eliza’s all about arizona just building back her confidence and finding her feet again. it’s showing her that life will go on, she can (if she wants) move on without callie.

and yes, totally agree that eliza wouldn’t have stayed if sofia came back while they were dating. eliza in some ways follows along in that sort of arizona-boswell type of surgeon who’s not really tied down and pretty mobile. (which tbh is probably part of the draw for arizona post plane crash). i’d venture a guess that eliza isn’t really into kids, much like how s6 arizona was - they’d just tie her down/limit her options. so i doubt she’d be all that interested in dating single mom arizona, especially if callie’s still in nyc so arizonas got sofia full time.

carina, in a similar vein to eliza, reminds arizona that she’s still desirable, she’s still hot (which is also very connected to the boswell thing). arizona sort of spent like 4-ish years thinking she wasn’t desirable and then there’s the whole thing of day 29 and arizona’s lost some major confidence in herself. and carina’s kind of the perfect person to help her find that again.

as for arizona not taking carina seriously, i almost think it could be a case of post-eliza, arizona coming to the conclusion that it’s always going to be callie, but callie’s never going to be an option so she might as well have fun. she doesn’t really want a serious relationship bc she knows on some level that she’ll never be in love with them the way she was with callie.

i’m always very interested to hear what people think both callie and arizonas types are so send em in

[joleneghoul]

if you don't mind me asking, do you have any recommendations for comics to read if I want to get into rip hunter? you have convinced me to read comics about him, but I don't know a good place to start

um well A lot of Rip to me is "what could be" because currently (or up till really recently) he has been sort of a plot device instead of a character. He is a good explanation for time travel when it's needed, plus he worked with the linear men who had their hands in plenty things in the 90s (im currently sticking my hands into this so i cant give any like reccs...im also not the hugest fan of Rip as part of that team bc I prefer him being with the time masters. but oh well. dilf ig).

Personally, despite a lot of flaws, I do enjoy Time Masters 1990, more so for the characters portrayed and the descent Rip takes and the lessons in the importance of not pushing others away and the inevitable. Rip in this story is no older than about 23-24 he is messy and he makes so many mistakes despite everyone trying to stop him. In a way he really reminds me of a younger Booster but much much more intense and distrusting of others.

Though I will say the parts of this series I enjoy less are any of the time travel segments which sucks bc..they are time travel characters! I really do feel like this series hammers in though the fact Rip SHOULD NOT work alone long term. But also this comic has like..a lot of dark themes in it and showcases some really really hurting people in many ways.

BUT my favorite story with Rip, at least this era of Rip is when he is in Booster Gold volume 1 issues 13-15 (technically he is also at the start of 16 but basically fucks off). In retrospect these stories are really interesting because of the retcon that Booster is Rip's father now (previously Hunter was legit just his last name). also this is where we are told Rip is short for Ripley. This arc is actually the whole reason time masters happens.

And also of course I love his part in 52 (the comic not the reboot). Issues 36-37 and 50-52 are where he appears but also if you want in the audio-play of this story he appears at 1:46:16 . I enjoy the play a lot :-]

other than that I enjoy the parts he has in specials like Time Warp 2013 the "R.I.P" story is where the him as a kid wanting to be eaten by a dinosaur comes from.

and i REALLY REALLY enjoy his role as the narrator of the "Nuclear Winter" special from 2019. literally one of the more recent Rip characterizations I've been excited about lol.

other than that...I am not a fan of the writing Johns does for Rip like in BG vol 2 to be honest. Because to me it kinda is the reason so many people are like rip HAS to be alone (he didnt start that but influenced it a lot) despite that being so anti what the end of TM says. so sorry abt that :-[ it makes the reccs i can make kinda small.

[tutuandscoot]

Despite all the accolades, I think the magnitude of what VM achieved is underrated. Probs bc they were GOATs for so long and achieved so much, people got used to their excellence and that diminished the shock- awe that their success might have generated. Also: too much BS about their relationship (the story of their comeback is so much more interesting to me). Which is why I loved your post about why their achievements are unlikely to be repeated. I’ve just listened to the Rodcast (which, btw, was gorgeous - how relaxed and sweet and just them were they? Also damn they looked good. Also Scott’s hair. Mmmm). His comment about being more open to discussing their love now that they both have a SO was quite telling (but not for the reason some of the VM crazies might think). A major part of their success and longevity, along with their work ethic and sporting ability, was their partnership. So a big downside to the VM madness post PYC is the fact we haven’t been able to delve into the psychology of that + why it was so powerful. Maybe it is just a one off - an alignment of the stars that can never be repeated. Or maybe there are other partnerships like that - and I’d like to learn about them too. My point is, imagine if everyone had a someone like S + T to spur them on to great things. Wouldn’t the world be a better place? And I don’t just mean sport, I mean across disciplines and inter-personal. That’s why I want to know more about them. And if the tinfoil hat VM brigade could shut the fuck up and chase some other conspiracy, maybe we could find out more? Sorry about the rant but I am deep in the feels on this and your post has really set me off!

I won’t share a pic of me currently crying but this made me cry.

Big same mate, when are we NOT deep in our feels over these precious dorks. (Prepping a ‘comeback story’ post coz big big same).

I too even more than their phenomenal athletic and artistic… amazingness… is the psychological side.. it’s just so damn fascinating because as you said that’s what facilitated their greatness along side their athletic talent and that is so damn underrated and the more I think about it not just being clever or strategic of them to deflect the ‘relationship’ question every time with ‘but our business partnership’ and ‘we care so much about each other’ is because it was THE GOD DAMN TRUTH and every tin hat or white coat with a problem with that can as you say find an actual bullshit conspiracy to obsess over. Their partnership legit needs to be studied properly coz everytime I come back too, well what makes them different, both in the sport but just as *PARTNERS* it’s that. I neeeed to know more it’s what I’m obsessed with them I need to get inside their heads.

*needs to catch my breathe* 🥵

And YES I wasn’t gonna post about it coz I cbf with cringy anons but the ‘we can talk about our real genuine love now coz we have other people’ was so telling and more than anything it’s sad it took that for them to feel they can speak freely about their love because it was right there in front of us how much they love each other and they just couldn’t say it publicly just has me throwing a thousand middle fingers to everyone who made them feel like they had to suppress their feelings about each other- but as I said they found ways to by gushing about the amazingness of each other in every facet of life, and that’s clearly what they are still doing, how much they love working together (AND STILL PLAN TO) I kid you not the amount of times a squealed listening to the RODcast- him calling her ‘kiddo’ or her LITERALLY OPENINLY SAYING SHE WOULD NOT HAVE SKATED IF NOT FOR SCOTT SHE OWES EVERYTHING IN HER LIFE TO HIM/TO EACH OTHER 😭😭😭😭 is the real fkn love story we should be talking about..

[post-modern-prometheus]

You are so right the quote has to do with everything. My bad I had meant it as a suggestion for more answers that could have been right under our noses cuz I agree with you 100%. Like the first reveal was about the super powered children and how that played a major role in everything. Which is important considering the fact that we barely knew anything about the lab except that brenner and everyone else involved were legit abusive to the children. So like there as to be more that we all connect together when we get the next few episodes. Also yes Henry being at the center of it all was something so nice and unique. Like you had this boy who was just part of a family like we didn’t even know about him truly (without trailers) until episode 4 when victor was explaining everything to Robin and Nancy. Which personally I think it’s so nice how they had a lot of fake outs in the trailer. Like a ton of people (even me) were convinced that victor had killed them but no it was the boy/his son. God it was such a good misdirect thing. Also yeah I keep trying to come up with come explanation for the spiders and I can’t. I keep trying to go over in my head what it could possibly mean and I come up with nothing.

Also a quick little aside I am so sorry for people coming into your inbox talking shit about you with the mileven and byler stuff. Also I can’t remember how late I am to this but like a major reason why people care about st so much is because of the relationships/dynamics they have with each other so it’s so stupid to say that everyone keeps dragging Mike about El. Like you were doing it so respectfully especially considering the fact that mike’s response to el’s confrontation about the letters plays a part in why she went with owens to get her powers back. Which I was so pissed at owens about that please the fucking betrayal and sure terror on El’s face when she saw brenner. Anyway while helping her friends was a major part another part was how she felt like she was nothing without her powers which (although unknowingly) her friends did feed into those parts of her insecurities. Lol I didn’t mean for that to become a rant. But I just want to say sorry about those people!

YES the whole thing with henry is SO interesting, esp when u think ab all the parallels between him and will…

thank u <3 im just lucky that kind of stuff doesnt effect my mental health, but ik there are people who it does. people who send anon hate are like thee most immature and should honestly take a step back and think ab themselves bc GROW UP. and i totally agree w ur take on the el sitch too.

[alanrants]

this is a reply for you personally that is too long for a post reply, publish it or don't, i'm not fussed on the matter:

there isn't really a magic bullet to fixing body image other than coming around to a sense of confidence and acceptance of yourself, which also must be customised for yourself

mileage will vary for individual cognitive and emotive processes, but what worked for me was reasoning my way into it and building it like a lego house.

when i was young i was your pretty standard porkchoppy geek but i wanted to be a tall androgenous pretty boy, total bishounen territory... but i don't have the right "stat bonuses" for that; I'm average height, kinda muggy, thick framed, and hirsute. the alternative to not leaning into my stat bonuses was basically just being unhappy, which didn't sound like a good time.

introspection and examination of what my deal was lead me to conclude step one would be to build confidence. examining how i might do that in ways i could effect caused me to take up learning skills that were interesting to me and useful, and it helped a lot

on a whim I took up a nutrition credit at school because i didn't like the other options and it seemed good to know anyway. I learned a lot and eventually also decided i was also going to try out meathead shit because though i had the wrong stat bonuses for bishy, i could possibly do kind of rugged and it pretty much worked. I still had confidence issues but fewer of them and also cool skills and muscles and was steadily becoming leaner.

the irony of that though was that it wasn't ever really enough while i was there doing it, not even at my leanest which was like five years into the process. I liked my body better but still felt not lean enough, even though i was definitely undernourished and its so absurd now because when i see old pictures its like my brother in christ what a fucking twunk, but i didn't feel all that better then, just hungry most of the time.

after a spell of pretty serious poverty i decided i wanted to experience some of the stuff which had been luxuries for the last little bit like good beer, calorically sufficient meals, the occasional fried chicken, more beer, you get the idea. combined with age slowing my metabolism and other lifestyle changes i started gaining pretty consistently

years later now i'm firmly in dadbear territory and i am more confident and accepting of myself now than at any time in my life prior and i do still have body goals but they are minor and reasonable. im a big boi with big shapes and plenty of weight to throw around in a judo match or whatever and im cool with that, a lot cooler than i was with myself in my youth, and a lot cooler than i was when i had what i was being told i was supposed to want.

part of that just comes with racking up life xp but another part of that, which i wasn't quite doing then, was critical analysis of what was causing me to feel how i did. and deeper than "why? disphoria lol" but like who says people have to be x y or z? who says goth femboys can't have thick thighs? why are they saying that? how do we know they aren't full of shit? how do we know thats any kind of legit conclusion when there is a vested monetary interest in keeping people unconfident so they buy shit?

it's just the process. find parts of yourself you like, tweak the ones that you can and want to (but safely!), and most of all recognise that your personal confidence and actualisation can't be fitted to anyone elses standards, or the standards society tells us should be our standards, it has to be customised for you personally, and doesn't just show up one day because abs or pecs or whatever.

thanks. this is what i needed to hear even though i knew that i shouldn't have the whole "look like what others want you to look like" thing in my head but i have it anyways bc i tend to be the person worried how people perceive me (sometimes whether or not if they even perceive me at all in a sense that if they do its negative)

[linddzz]

Zoos/Aquariums: we need to have another discussion on the lack of diversity in the field. Why on earth do we only get upper middle class privileged white people?

Zoos/Aquariums: 4 year degree requirements common

Zoos/Aquariums: unpaid internships with no housing provided

Zoos/Aquariums: also hold high standard for applications for unpaid no housing internships

Zoos/Aquariums: we won't say a few years of intern and volunteer work is required for a job but good fucking luck getting one without it

Zoos/Aquariums: anyway we really need to do something about this diversity problem

[chironshorseass]

I was reading some of your posts and you had pretty good takes, so I wanted to ask what you think about the whole 'Percy is a mary sue/gary stu' thing? I see a few people saying that too many characters fall for him, he's overpowered, he has no flaws, etc. What do you think?

tbh i had no idea this was a thing until I looked it up, and yep. there are people who legit think that percy is a mary sue which is hilarious. also there r some others who claim that annabeth and piper r mary sues?? that's also a thing but im less surprised abt that even tho they r clearly very wrong as well lmaoo

so let's see what makes a mary sue: according to this dictionary "Mary Sue is a term used to describe a fictional character, usually female, who is seen as too perfect and almost boring for lack of flaws, originally written as an idealized version of an author in fanfiction."

ok so it’s true that rick wrote percy to be….similar? to his son? or at least represent him. i’m not sure and frankly idc bc in the end, percy can’t exactly be considered to be the typical self insert who could do no wrong unlike *cough* paul *cough* because, what-ho he has flaws. lol. in tlt it is established that percy has anger issues. he easily gets in trouble and again, his emotions get the best of him. (tho him being a "troublemaker” is usually bc he's the type of dude who is There at the wrong place and at the wrong time. he's a demigod and he's blamed for everything but that's another matter.) with this said, he talks back at gabe knowing that it just makes his mom's life harder. this isn't coming from malicious intent, obviously, bc percy loves his mom. he just cant help himself and his hatred (which is valid obviously) is overwhelming. he has no filter when it comes to insults (tho a lot of his internal monologue he still keeps to himself), his self-esteem is crippling (probably has a lot to do with gabe) and anyone with reading comprehension can tell that he’s a little shit!!! a little shit who is also three dimensional!!! im so confused abt why they will say that percy is written with “no flaws” as if they have the best take ever. he literally strangled nico during tlo, and sure his anger was warranted, but nico was like. ten. and percy just kept choking him😭😭. i’m sorry but dude has flaws. i think mainly people confuse being fundamentally good-natured and being powerful with having no flaws and therefore boring. these two don’t necessarily correlate, and a well written character can and will have many aspects to them, not just the cool flashy powers. a well written character won’t be boring, and therefore, won’t be a mary sue. i think people forget that. percy is more than just a son of poseidon, the hero of olympus. he isn't perfect and he isn't meant to be, because he isn't a mary sue!!! he isn’t BORING!!! truly i could rant all day and make some other post abt his flaws but frankly not today. these people clearly dont know how to read lol.

on the topic of too many characters falling for him and his looks….honestly all of that felt very natural in the books? one, nico’s crush on percy isn’t canon until waay later so we as readers didn’t know he had one while reading pjo. nico admits that he had a crush in the first place bc he began to idealize percy, for who he is (and honestly it’s realistic, given nico was young and the person who saved him and his sister was percy). two, rachel fell for the idea of percy. of the world that he was part of—she literally says this shit. and they started out as friends, so, developing feelings is easy thru friendship. obviously percy jackson is a good person, and obviously rachel saw the best parts of him and went with it. then she promptly tells him something along the lines of “bye not interested. i figured out that i don’t rly like u exactly. i just liked the idea of u being part of this magical world” and that’s that. three, calypso also falls in love with the idea of him (btw there r many things wrong with this, but u know, another can of worms. yikes). she implies that it was his character (bravery, maybe?). four, annabeth starts off as his friend. she gets to know all of him, the good and the bad, and it doesn’t rly feel like, “oh, he’s perfect and awesome and sooo good looking. that’s why everyone wants to be with him.” no. on the surface, maybe??? idk this is maybe sugar coating a lot. but all these ppl “fall in love” with percy bc of different circumstances, and not necessarily bc of his looks/all of them except for annabeth don’t get to know him well at all. they don’t exactly know abt his flaws, and….obviously percy jackson is good looking. later on, he’s described as such. lol he’s the son of a greek god??? and yet. for most of pjo he’s described as short and scrawny?? bc he’s a kid? lol. another thing: his looks aren’t the most important thing abt him. in fact, it’s barely stated in the books. us as readers infer that he must be good looking bc of some throwaway comments and how poseidon is perceived as “handsome” and percy looks like poseidon. this is later on when he’s sixteen or whatever

ig, but again, not the most important part of him. not rly mary sue material if barely anyone acknowledges his looks.

tl;dr: percy jackson can’t be a mary sue bc he’s not boring: he has flaws as well as good qualities to him. his “good looks” aren’t important like they r in actual mary sue characters since they r barely mentioned. characters fall for him bc of different aspects of his character, not necessarily bc of the previous thing abt the “good looks.” PERCY JACKSON CANNOT BE A MARY SUE AND YALL CLEARLY CANT READ

[deathvsthemaiden]

Do you have any advice for ppl who’ve been in a reading slump since... 5 ever ? i love reading somehow it’s just harder to get into it these days :(

Omg for sure!! Here is a scrambled little list, I hope at least some of it helps:

📖 read in any format (ebook, physical book, audiobook) bc they’re all valid and make reading more accessible for people which is I think part of why ppl get hoity toity abt it. Ignore them. Also, I assume that if you wanna read, at least a large chunk of why is because you wanna have fun and consume stories yes? 😳 you can do that w/ any form of book, and any other reasons you might have to want to read, like expanding vocab or broadening ur horizons or learning to analyze books should be secondary. Focus on making it a fun and near-effortless/painless thing again and then u can graduate to those (I think that’ll come naturally tbh as long as you read semi-consistently) Fun comes First and I say that as a terrible English major 😗

📖 And with that in mind, read whatever you want, even if it’s simple or cringe or a reread or whatever because after completing the first few impulsive reads that you find engaging enough to finish completely, you can worry about reading what you think you “should” or what would benefit you specifically if that makes sense. Like I’m completely pro reading new things and not limiting urself to 1 genre but there’s no harm in taking your time moving onto things that don’t immediately pique ur interest. Get into the groove of things first, the criticism of ppl who are well past the target age market for YA but still exclusively consume it doesn’t apply to people who are trying to rediscover their love of reading imo.

📖 keep books nearby all the time! (All!!! The time!!!!) You might not actually read them 45/50 times that you bring them with you to places/keep them near you wherever u spend time at your house, but those 5 times will be bliss and you’ll thank yourself! Do it! Especially if ur open to ebooks and can read them on ur phone!

📖 put your phone somewhere far away on mute and force yourself to read for a specific chunk of pages or time. Very old person-ish advice but like. They’re onto smth when they tell us to do stuff like that, but they’re also way too smug and holier-than-thou about it so no need to tell any of them that! 🤫 but seriously be honest w/ urself if u have a compulsive notification checking problem and challenge yourself to overcome it long enough to meet a very small teensy tiny goal 🥅

📖 I juggle a lot of books at once and I’m constantly planning ahead in my brain when I do it, without consciously meaning to (library deadlines for digitized books are so strict 💔) And often I don’t end up following these plans perfectly, because following them perfectly isn’t the point, especially since life happens all the time and isn’t often very receptive when we wish we could forget everything and read for several straight hours. Reading shouldn’t be a burden, but the vague guidelines help. I think stuff like “tomorrow I’ll finish this poetry collection before bed” or “I’m gonna study and then read 2 chapters of this novel I’m rlly digging as a treat before continuing,” “I’m gonna listen to 4 chapters of this audiobook while I take a walk or do chores” etc etc. and usually I end up reading at least a little! And the best thing is when I read more than intended because the book is just that fun. I don’t write these plans down, but if it helps you to do so I urge you to anon :0 !! Just remember ur writing them on paper/a screen and not in stone, so you can always be flexible and change things around and you’re not by any means a failure for doing so. To be flexible w/ urself is most likely to ensure long term progress imo!

📖 speaking of juggling it’s absolutely fine to cycle through a ton of books and sometimes abandon them for months and come back when the whim strikes! If your memory is good enough and you prefer having a bunch of variety at all times, jump from book to book with reckless abandon! It legit doesn’t matter. Also don’t ever hesitate to drop a book if you’re not vibing it’s not worth it. Time is precious life is precious you’re doing this for fun, yes? Drop the book if you can’t bring yourself to care theres sooooo many more where it came from! Be merciless and picky!! It will pay off I promise, and to be that way is not antithetical to challenging yourself or stepping outside of your comfort zone unless you make it that way.

📖 buddy read/have an impromptu book club w/ someone. It doesn’t have to be official, and I’ve done this multiple times with people and sometimes we just don’t finish the book/meet our set goals and that’s a-okay! It’s still worth it to have someone to talk abt the book w/ and you guys can always pick up where you left off or try another book. Literally no stakes at all as long as everyone involved is chill and understanding <3

📖 set a reading goal you think you can manage by the end of the year! You might surprise yourself 😳 and if you don’t oh well! You’ll still have read at least a page in pursuit of said goal 🔎

📖 read short stories! The internet is full of them, and short story collections by multiple and singular authors are everywhere 📚

📖 do some searching and make a list of books that you’re extremely excited to read or really wanna revisit. And then pick your next reads from there! If you want recs for books or short stories you can always shoot me another ask or look at my goodreads (or goodreads in general)

[uwuwriting]

Incompatible ships w/ Todoroki, Kirishima, Bakugou and Midoiya

Request: hii! i love ur posts so i thought why not request ajbakaha,, can i ask for todoroki, kirishima, bakugou, izuku getting jealous bc their s/o is getting shipped with another student :D (it can be their relationship is still a secret or smth) btw i love your posts!! it's free serotonin!! 😽😽- anonymous

Secret relationships are my favorite trope. This and friends to lovers. I live for these types of fics. Random fact, my allergies are acting up bc I helped take down the Christmas decorations and now my hands are on fire. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: fluff, minor suggestive themes not something major though

Todoroki Shouto

-Things like jealousy are a rare occurrence in your relationship. 

-Todoroki is the type of boyfriend who trusts you blindly and would put his own life in your hands without a single hesitation. 

-Sometimes it bothers him how other people effortlessly flirt with you but he knows that nothing will come out of it no matter how much they chat you up. 

-He knows you can handle yourself and get out of  a situation if things start getting out of hand. 

-And if you can’t, he will butt in glaring down at the person who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

-Everyone around you seem to believe that the two of you are really close friends; none of them have caught a whiff of your relationship and you are proud of yourselves. 

-I mean it is pretty hard keeping so many romantic milestones hidden from your friends. 

-But alas you both knew that keeping all of this to yourselves would be for the best. 

-Now, we all know that the girls of your class drool over any remotely romantic interaction you have. 

-Same goes for everyone actually. 

-Oh Kirishima held the door open for you the other day?? I can see a new ship sailing. 

-Sero helped you pick up your stuff when you bumped into a wall? Your knight in shining armor. 

-Really any sort of kind gesture was interpreted as romantic interest at this point. 

-The worst part of it all was the ship they had created and have been simping over for the past three months. 

-You had managed to create an unexpected friendship with Monoma from class 3-B. 

-The agency he interns in is right next to yours so you take the same train and then walk to almost the same building every single day. 

-You see him during patrol, the pro heroes you work under have paired up once or twice so a friendship was inevitable. 

-So imagine the surprise on your classmate’s faces when Monoma began waiting for you outside the 3-A dorm building.

-Mina wouldn’t shut up about how cute you two were together and what a perfect match you made. 

-Soon enough the other idiots joined the party and you were drowned in ‘awwww’s and ‘love story in the making’s. 

-You got tired of explaining that he was just a friend, that you weren’t interested in him. 

-The fact that you could feel Todoroki’s gaze burn through your back didn’t help at all. 

-Your boyfriend had asked you about Monoma because he too found it weird how he waited for you everyday. 

-The boy’s presence didn’t bother him at first. 

-He was lowkey grateful that you finally had company on your way to the agency considering he couldn’t walk with you since his building was in the opposite direction. 

-It started becoming a problem when all he could hear during the breaks was the stupid ship name the girls had created. 

-He could see how visibly uncomfortable it made you and how you would seek for his gaze during those moments. 

-Then they started talking about how cute your kids would be and that’s when Shoto had enough. 

-It’s one thing hearing about how cute your girlfriend would be with someone else and it’s completely different when you hear about their potential offspring. 

-Grabbing your wrist he basically dragged you out the classroom and into an empty hallway, pinning you to the nearest wall before connecting his lips with yours. 

-You let a surprised gasp which gave him the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss, making you grasp onto his shirt as your knees gave out. 

-After what felt like an eternity he let you go for air before attacking your jaw, neck and collarbones. 

-Soon those soft kisses turned into little love bites. 

- “Sho you’re gonna leave a mark.” 

-Releasing your skin from between his teeth, he admired the reddish hickey he had left at the base of your neck. 

-He was sure your shirt’s collar could cover it up just barely. 

- “That’s the point, love.” 

-Intertwining your fingers, he led you back to class, going to his seat with a proud smirk on his lips leaving a very flustered puffy-lips-messy-haired you in his wake. 

Kirishima Eijiro 

-Kiribaby is not the jealous type. 

-Like only if you give your undivided attention to a puppy and you smother it with all your love and affection then maybe, just maybe, he will pout a bit and ask for his own fair share of love. 

-He trusts you just like Todoroki does.

-Nothing has ever happened to suggest that he should worry about others stealing you from him so he doesn’t worry. 

-Plus you are always together no matter what. 

-Almost everyone from your class knows that you are together so the shipping doesn’t start from them. 

-Oh no.

-It starts from class 3-B who has seen you talk to Tetsutetsu quite a bit this past few weeks. 

-You might wait for him outside their classroom during lunch breaks. 

-They have caught you hanging out outside of the school grounds. 

-So the only logical explanation they can come up with is that you two are either A) dating or B) have a thing for each other and are getting there. 

-Soon enough rumors start circulating. 

- “Did you know that someone from the hero course is dating that metal guy from class 3-B?”

- “Yeah yeah I heard it’s that girl Y/N. They do look really cute together, not gonna lie.”

-Eventually these rumors reach Kiri’s ears and they kinda get to him.

-He knows that you haven’t been hanging out extra with Tetsutetsu since every time you guys go out he is always with you. 

-You are the type of couple who does everything together, literally. 

-Apart from being in different agencies ya’ll are holding hands almost 24/7.

-So he really doesn’t get what everyone is talking about. 

-Mineta doesn’t help. 

-He really doesn’t. 

-He starts making scenarios about what you do while Kirishima is out of the dorms; how you have wrapped both homies around your finger and toying with them. 

-Oh the very vivid scenes he creates with all three of you in a…. compromising position. 

-Kirishima hates that most of all. 

-The words coming out of Mineta’s mouth disgust him to no end and soon enough he is walking to your dorm ready to talk this through. 

-Opening the door you greet your boyfriend with a smile and a quick peck but you immediately know what is on his mind. 

- “Baby what are we gonna do?” 

-You basically whine at the question. 

-He spends the whole night at your dorm brainstorming ideas until you both pass out on your floor. 

-And your solution to the problem? 

-Ignore the whole thing and continue on with your lives. 

-He suggested maybe leaving a mark somewhere *like our boy Sho* but you shot him down saying that they would just think Tetsutetsu did it. 

-After Monoma catches you in your classroom making out on your desk though the rumors soon die out. 

Bakugou Katsuki

-Crazy boom boom boy. 

-Your relationship is a secret because he doesn’t want to deal with all the other idiots gushing over your relationship and getting all up in your business. 

-Your relationship is a sacred thing he has sworn to protect and he won’t let Mineta’s ugly ass hands get anywhere near it. 

-Gonna taint it even with his thoughts. 

-Guard dog Bakugou bark bark. 

-It’s fairly easy to maintain a secret relationship with him. 

-Sure he might be a tiny bit calmer with you and maybe just maybe his eyes linger on you during training but yeah he treats you just like he treats all the other extras he is surrounded by. 

-Now, Bakugou is kinda *read a lot* jealous in general. 

-He doesn’t like when people he doesn’t fully trust or like, talk to you or are close to you. 

-He has butted in on your conversations with Todoroki one too many times and the poor crispy baby is so confused like why are you like this? 

-I just want the chemistry notes please let me get them in peace for once.

-You have chastised him about that manier times but your resolve melts when he pouts *YES HE POUTS AT YOU RWIHPWIE* before wrapping his strong arms around you. 

- “I just don’t wanna lose you, dumbass.” 

-You can barely make out his words as his face is buried in your stomach but you heard him and now you are tearing up at the pure emotion he is showing at these moments. 

-At the end of the day though, he trusts you. 

-He may not trust the other horny extras around you but he fully trusts you. 

-There’s no doubt about that. 

-You can imagine ,though, the instant rage he felt when he heard the girls talking about you and Deku. 

- “They do make a great couple.” 

- “Have you seen how they look at each other?” 

- “Good for her, Deku is perfect boyfriend material.” 

-First of all, how dare you, second hold the fuck up…..when did this become a WhoRe hOuSe?!?!?!?!  

-Legit someone has to shake him out of his stupor after that one. 

-You look at Deku in a certain way? 

-Fucking DEKU?!?!?! 

-THoughts are swirling in his mind almost pouring out of his ears when he hears the voice. 

-That annoying ass voice that he has engraved in his brain since childhood. 

-And the moment his eyes land upon Deku and you speaking, he sees red. 

-He is pouncing on Deku in -5 seconds, the poor green haired boy completely unaware of what hit him, literally. 

-They are on the floor wrestling on another, you screaming at Katsuki to stop and get his shit together while your boyfriend is spewing curse after curse at the OFA user simultaneously asking what the hell he was doing with HIS girlfriend. 

-Aizawa had to break them up. 

-They both got detention even though Deku did literally nothing. 

-Katsuki was denied cuddles for a whole week and he was set on explaining duty now that the cat was out of the bag. 

Midoriya Izuku 

-Izuku is the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. 

-He is loyal, shows emotions, is good at communicating with you, has incredible date ideas although he is kinda forgetful at times and his packed schedule doesn’t leave enough time to spend with you, at least not as much as he wants, but he always tries to make up for it in other ways.

-You love how much trust he puts in you. 

-You couldn’t be more grateful. 

-But Izuku has his insecurities. 

-At times it becomes hard for him to understand why exactly you’ve chosen him to love when you could have anyone you wanted in this school. 

-He can’t wrap his pretty little head around the reason why you stay with him when the only thing you get out of all this is others saying you deserve better than some crybaby. 

-It has become his mission to prove to you that he isn’t what others say he is; he isn’t some crybaby, he is a hero in training who won’t hesitate to risk his life for you. 

-You have reassured him multiple times that you don’t care what others say.

-You fell in love with him, him and all of his flaws. 

-No one told you that you should fall for him and no you didn’t agree to date him out of pity. 

-Most of the time you manage to erase those thoughts from his mind replacing them with the warm feeling of your love.

-But there comes a time when no matter what you say, the words of other people will get the best of him and it will be a struggle to build himself back up. 

-He is thankful to have you by his side during those moments because then he truly feels weak, he feels helpless, he knows these things shouldn’t bother him. 

-He loves you and you love him end of story, but they do get to him. 

-One of the worst times he questioned if he was good enough was during your third year. 

-Being in the support department you couldn’t be by his side 24/7 but you did always manage to see him during breaks to the point the whole class knew you and slowly became your friends. 

-The thing is they thought you two were also friends; neither had ever mentioned your relationship and things felt so comfortable between you that they assumed that you were really close friends. 

-Izuku had suggested keeping your relationship on the down low; him being in the hero course and having created rather the reputation, he was afraid that you would be dragged into something dangerous. 

-Plus All Might advised you two to keep it a secret and All Might’s words are law. 

-Izuku loved how well you got along with his friends, it meant that when he revealed your relationship they would all welcome you with open arms. 

-What he didn’t expect though was for them to start shipping you with someone else. 

-For some weird reason the girls of his class started obsessing over your interactions with Bakugou and soon after that they started trying to get you two alone in the same room, much to your dismay. 

-In reality, Bakugou was the only person who knew about your relationship. 

-He had ran into you as you were leaving Izuku’s dorm room, catching you two kiss goodnight. 

-Bakugou, as much as he disliked Izuku, would never get in the way of your relationship and he hated this ship shit as much maybe even more than you did. 

-Izuku was ready to crawl into a whole and die. 

-You had to stay in his room for almost a whole month to calm him down completely, him flying you to your own building in the morning so you don’t get in trouble. 

-It was a difficult time aand his classmate’s comments didn’t help one bit. 

-The tipping point was when he overheard Mina devising a plan of setting you guys up. 

-He walked down to the common room the next day with you next to him, hands intertwined, a hickey barely visible under the hem of HIS shirt, shocking everyone in the vicinity. 

-A new ship was created *after they harassed you for answers*

TAG TEAM AY:

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[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[itsclydebitches]

I'm sorry, I might have been unclear. ^^;; I mean that when Bakugo is told for ten years he deserves to be arrogant and ambitious, it'd be hard for him to not be. But he picked All Might as his hero, whose compassion and saving people define him. In many ways I see a neglected kid lashing out from frustration before UA. He wasn't going to change until he was among equals in class, and adults who cared enough to tell/show him more than a simple 'you're the best bc you're strong'.

OH yes yes, sorry for the miscommunication! Yeah, we've definitely seen moments in his past where Bakugo's arrogance was stoked and I think those details are the cornerstone of how sympathetically each individual reads him. Does the reader focus on the actions themselves (bullying, encouraging suicide, recklessly fighting Izuku), or the environment that led to that behavior (doting teachers, his mother, peers who egged him on). It's that line between "Bakugo is just a kid. He needs the chance to grow" and "Bakugo is the perpetrator hurting other kids. His growth should not come at the continued expense of his victim." Which is where I think the structural issues of the story come in. Meaning, both takes are right — Bakugo does horrific things and Bakugo is also a teenager whose behavior is arguably stemming from his upbringing — but it's hard to balance both sides when he's in a story where he's attending school with Izuku, his relationship with Izuku is one of the most important, and he's set from the get-go to be a hero. By making Bakugo such a crucial part of the story in the form of a) being a hero and b) being Izuku's foil, reading #1 — he's a poor kid who just needs endless chances to improve — wins out. In a better story setup, Bakugo would not be training alongside his victim. He would have been expelled from U.A. for all the stunts he pulled. His future as a hero would have been seriously called into question until he learned that bare bones respect. As it stands, the structure of the story ensures that Bakugo (to my knowledge) never faced any actual consequences for his actions, pushing a lot of messages that fans are uncomfortable with: past behavior doesn't matter, any improvement is equal to reaching a standard expected of everyone else, the best thing is to forgive your abuser, talent is prioritized over empathy, etc. Since the apology dropped, I've seen a couple of fans arguing that whether to forgive Bakugo or not is Izuku's decision. It doesn't matter what the fans think because they aren't the ones who suffered. But Izuku isn't a real person. Izuku is a character, controlled by an author who gets to decide how he reacts, knowing that lots of fans want Bakugo's behavior to be acknowledged as serious as it was. I'm currently working under the assumption that Izuku will accept Bakugo's apology because the story has never been interested in actually making Bakugo face consequences for his actions. He was established as a hero from the start, despite his unheroic behavior, which created a contradiction that has hurt the story as a whole.

For me, what it comes down to is the reaction as opposed to the explanation. If I had a kid acting like Bakugo who I know was pushed to that behavior by others and also kid acting like Bakugo for seemingly no reason... they both need to learn the same lesson. Because, as established, that over-encouragement isn't an excuse, just a possible explanation (and I say "possible" because plenty of our other heroes were likewise praised for their talents and didn't turn out like that). What it comes down to is that Bakugo is not the victim here. Was Bakugo neglected? Arguably in some respects, but we know for a fact — seeing from the very start of the series — how much damage Bakugo has done in turn. And yet the story is focused on his pain, his struggle, the tragedy of what supposedly drove a teenager to encourage someone to jump off a roof, rather than the tragedy of a minority kid bullied to the point of someone encouraging suicide. That's the flaw imo. Both kids deserve to work through their problems and have their stories told, but doing that together — putting both at the heart of the manga, as equals in terms of their status as heroes — really doesn't work for me. It's hard to get invested in the supposed tragedy of a kid who was endlessly praised and decided to turn that into despising everyone "lesser" than him when the "lesser" person is right there, having his victimhood largely ignored in favor of unpacking how hard this is for his bully. That's the focus we keep coming back to. It's "poor Bakugo, realizing that Izuku isn't a useless nobody" rather than, "poor Izuku, forced to work alongside the guy who thinks he's a useless nobody." To be totally honest here, I never cared about Bakugo's supposedly sad backstory because it reads as so inconsequential compared to others in the class and compared to what he did to Izuku. Todoroki had his face burned by his father. Uraraka is becoming a hero to try and help her family financially. Izuku is right there... and Bakugo's great struggle, the struggle the story spends so much time on, is "Wow, other people aren't trash I can just walk over and hurt for the fun of it? And I'm learning this at a snail's pace while heading towards the prestigious career of being a hero? And the reason I'm like this is because people praised me too much? What fantastic development on my part!"

I get snarky, but I do honestly believe that Bakugo's story is one worth telling, just not in this context. The story of a kid so talented, and beloved that he developed an ego the size of his school and needs to unlearn that arrogance is a legit story to tell. Trying to tell that story at the expense of his victim, alongside kids his age who went through the same thing and turned out kind, went through far worse and turned out kind, all while having him train to be a hero without ever seriously questioning whether he should be allowed in such a profession is... a mess. It is good for Bakugo to be among equals and learn some humility, but I don't think the first half of the story did nearly enough of that and, even if it had, that struggle is hard for me to take seriously when the others have so much else going on.

Also, did Bakugo latch onto All Might because of his compassion? That always seemed incidental to me. Rather, Bakugo idolized him because he's the best: the most popular, the strongest, the one who always wins. I'd need to re-read flashbacks from the manga to be sure, but I do recall one of the scenes from the anime:

"You see that? I bet he'll dodge and then punch! Think they've won and then ha! Look, he totally stopped him! That's why he's the greatest. No matter how much trouble he's in, he's always the winner!"

Bakugo likes All Might because he's "the winner," not because he's presumably saving people during this news coverage. Izuku is the one who latches onto All Might because of his smile and ability to help. That's their crucial difference between them. Izuku fights for others. Bakugo fights for himself.

Is he slowly unlearning that? Yeah, sort of, but again, it comes down to who continually suffers to teach that lesson, how slow Bakugo learns it, how it compares to the struggles of his peers, and how this is situated in a story revolving around allowing him to be a hero in the first place. Cool character idea, bad context and execution.