#whiffies

[junglicious64]

diu characters as whiffies toys or something. theyre all girls btw. drawpile w @eyerealm

[toytopia]

[tomeandflickcorner]

Question for any collectors of those Whiffies Ice Cream Shop toys. Does anyone know if there’s a website somewhere where you can trade your figurines?

[crescentfool]

@catnatch drew whiffy the squiffy for me for artfight! thank you for drawing my girl she is the best 🥺💙

[orkbutch]

controversial headcanon perhaps but i.... think karlach would be stinky

[outtox1cated]

Gorillaz is an animated band that makes peak music with deep meanings and has a cleverly (kinda) and interestingly written lore that contains one of the most bizarre, nearly surrealistic nonsense I've ever seen, then we get minor characters like this:

[stargirlfeyre]

Oh my god, now that I’ve read that Nesta stinks I can’t stop imagining it. My headcanon is that Cassian affectionately calls Nesta little stank stank, stanky girl, fierce little skunk, fusty busty, putrid princess, punguent precious, odoriferous cookie, foul foxy, skunky snookums, little nosestopper, rancid rosebud, my one and only oyster, acrid angel, whiffy kitty, rotten cheese ball, etc.

WHY DID YOU JUST KEEP GOING

[masquenoire]

Stolen from @ratwhsprs and @umtplex!

Archived template can be found here [X]

[jinglecats]

haha anyone want to commission me for a very stupid purchase /j

[onesidedradiostatic]

Thinking about Alastor and wifi…

- Do you think Alastor knew what the wifi symbols meant when Vox added them to his outfit (did he even notice) or was he like “ok stupid fashion choice but Vox *is* stupid so i shouldn’t be surprised”, maybe he thought that his guidance was the only thing holding Vox back from looking like an idiot?

- if Alastor first saw “wifi” in writing and pronounced it as “whiffy,” thinking “why is it called that, does it even smell?” (“Is Vox calling himself stinky now??”)

- The potential confusion over Wireless (technology) and Wireless (common older name for a radio) “Vox is claiming he now has domain over the “wireless”?? But I’m the wireless one here. The wireless is mine????? Actually, I don’t even care anymore this is a waste of thought”

- my grandparents used to say wireless as “wah-liss” so we thought their radio was called Wallace for a few years. Laughing at the idea of some old fashioned sinners calling Alastor the wireless demon, resulting in new sinners obliviously thinking there’s some other super dangerous guy out there just called Wallace, or thinking that the radio demon’s name was Wallace instead of Alastor. Maybe even that “Al” is short for “wALlace” it’s so stupid it’s making me cry.

LMAOOO I mean honestly alastor would totally pronounce wifi as whiffy, I don't expect him to really know what it is cause I doubt he uses anything that requires internet. newer sinners thinking alastor's name is wallace though 😭😭

[gumnut-logic]

Five pick ups and one drop off (Pick up 4)

Pick up 1 | Pick up 2 | Pick up 3 | Pick up 4

Scott is tired and a little pissed off, so watch for language. Again, kinda crack just for fun.

I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-

Scott Tracy needed to re-apply his deodorant.

He was beginning to get a bit whiffy. But that’s what happens went you cut halfway across the planet after pulling a dozen people out from under a building in Taiwan.

As it was, he’d had to leave Virgil to liaise with local services to make it in time.

Thunderbird One wasn’t known for her shower facilities, but he had foreseen that in the past and his office in New York was set up with all the amenities including a spare business suit or two.

But that was a good five hours ago. If there was one advantage of crossing the dateline, it was the preservation of sunlight. He had the great pleasure of living the same day over again. With less concrete dust.

But more numbers and more annoying people.

One thing about rescue sites, bar the occasional asshole, was that the people there were usually very, very happy to see Scott and his brothers.

Here in the board room he received the distinct impression that at least several of the members would be much happier with his absence so they could do exactly what they wanted.

Which was what had been happening and why he was here.

“Sir, why the higher expenditure? Their employees are not our responsibility.”

Scott grit his teeth and his blood pressure sung in his ears. “We are saving the company and its employees. I believe with the correct financial support, they can become a solid division of Tracy Industries. We are not in the business of destroying lives.”

“This is not a rescue site, Tracy, this is business!”

Scott straightened from where he had been bent over the conference table, glaring at Martin at the far end, and pulled himself up to his full height before turning to glare at Landers on his left. “Not the way we conduct it.” His tone turned acid. “Do you think caring makes us soft, Landers?”

“Yes, it does. You are destroying our profit margin.”

Scott could not give a fuck about this particular profit margin. They were absorbing a large manufacturing business with its heart in country USA. If they didn’t handle the situation carefully, a good hundred thousand employees looked to lose lifetime jobs. The impact on the people and society would be massive. Not to mention a foolish move as TI’s most important asset was its talent. And there was good talent out there. The business had been struggling, but only to out compete TI, which it could no longer.

Its product was excellent. Brains and Virgil had done an assessment and agreed that the teams had potential. All they needed to do was absorb them into TI and then manage them into a better working culture in order to support that talent.

But it was obvious certain members of the board did not see things the same way as the Tracy brothers. Yes, the profit margin would suffer, may even go into cost in the short term, but it was the long term Scott Tracy was interested in and not lining his pockets at the cost of other people’s lives.

Tracy Industries was big and stable enough to take a hit for the common good.

“Landers…” Scott really wished his head wasn’t hurting so much. “…just go.”

“What? Go where?”

“Out.” Scott waved an irritated hand at the door. “Get out!”

“You can’t-“

“GO!”

The whole room jumped.

Landers glared everything at Scott, swore under his breath, and made a scene of gathering his tablet and collection of paraphernalia off the table and stomping towards the exit.

The moment he left, murmured protests rumbled around the room.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Carly, his EA, talking into her headset. A moment later Jeremy, his personal security guard, stepped into the room and took up a position quite casually just inside the door.

Great.

Not the best politic move, Tracy. But Landers was a dick and he had had it coming for a long time.

Scott had just needed to be irritated enough to follow through.

He leant over the table again. “Do we have any further objections?”

Martin at the far end was noting furiously on his tablet. Yeah, more trouble would come from that direction.

Scott sighed. He really wasn’t at his best. He needed sleep. The Virgil at the back of his head was jumping up and down on his neurons demanding he stop growling at staff and come home.

There was a knock at the door and that same brother, still dressed in his IR uniform, stuck his head through. “Hey, excuse me, I need to borrow the President for a moment.”

The room was still rumbling and didn’t really respond. Scott strode over to his brother. “What is it?”

“Come out here for a sec.”

“I can’t leave right now.”

“Yes, you can.” A heavy lifting arm reached in and yanked him out into the hall.

“Virgil, what the hell?”

But his brother was busy staring at him, dark eyes assessing him as if he was capable of medically scanning him with the melanin in his eyeballs. “You’re coming with me.” And before Scott could react - a definite sign of exhaustion if there was one - Virgil lifted him in one quick move and threw him over his shoulder.

“Virgil, what the fuck?!” He struggled, but Virgil was known for his iron grip and even in Scott’s worst moments, he couldn’t hurt his brother.

“We are going home.”

“It’s an important meeting!” The view of the floor and his brother’s butt was infuriating.

“I know. Which is why we let you go initially. However, that was hours ago, and before you disassemble the board one by one, we are intervening.”

“We?”

“Hi, Scott.”

He cranked his head up just in time to see John walk past in a crisp turquoise-grey suit. “What? John? Virgil, put me down!”

“Nope.” They entered an elevator…going up, no doubt to the roof.

“Virgil, please. John will eviscerate them.”

“Yep.” They stepped out into sunlight.

“Aww, c’mon. They’re scared of him.”

“Yep.” A big green shadow loomed over them and Virgil stepped onto her elevator, giving Scott a fantastic view of checkerplate and nothing else. “It will do them good.”

“Virg-“

“Nope. Bed.”

“Please?”

His brother kicked the wall of the cockpit and folded down one of the stretchers. He rolled Scott gently off his shoulder, carefully catching his head and neck and let him sink into the soft medical support.

Every muscle cheered in gratitude.

“Virg…” God, he was tired.

His brother responded by brushing a hair out of his eyes, his gloved hand pushing Scott’s mess of hair back from his forehead. Kind eyes looked down at him. “You need rest, big brother.”

Sure fingers darted over his body, doing up safety straps and securing him in place, and for some reason Scott did not have the energy to protest.

He fell asleep halfway across the Pacific lulled to rest by the comforting roar of his brother’s ‘bird.

-o-o-o-

Next

[gakupo7]

I'm Knox a famous surgeon and I earn my daily bread. By studying cadavers which are bodies not long dead. One day two suave young gentlemen, appeared within my view.

"I'm Mr Burke..."

"I'm Mr Hare"

""How do you do?""

These gents explained that their acquaintance had just passed away. It seemed the bodyd only been a goner for a day.

"Excuse the curious offer..."

Said Hare, or was it Burke.

"But would you care to slice this up, to see how corpses work?"

Well, it's always a palaver, getting hold of a cadaver, so I said, "Yes I'll have her." ...Oh it's a he...!

(strange expression)

This body taught me much about what makes a person poorly. Why some men live to ninety nine and some die prematurely. How these parts function perfectly, while others, won't repair! How everything is interlinked... Ooh, what's that doing there?

(pupururupupururu)

Till one day there was nothing left, and all my work was spent...

Then Burke and Share showed up again; my how convenient!

Another slab of fresh, human organs bone and flesh. Another gory sesh. Excellent news

(crazy laughter)

As time went on, these kind men brought me several guys and gals. My lab was... Chok-a-block with all their freshly passed on pals! I paid them lots of money... Bodies came from everywhere!

"You really are a busy Mr Burke..."

(grab moneydollar)

"And Mr Hare."

They seemed such cultured gentlemen, I never did suspect... That Burke and Share were not so nice, I really should have checked! Then one day a policeman came, asked if I'd seen a chap... I hadn't, but days later, his corpse turned up in my lap!

(tutururututururu...)

It seemed that these acquaintances of Burke and Hare, actually... we're not their friends! And many, did not always die naturally. Burke and Hare had murdered them! It was plain to see. Then brought the corpses to my lap, and pocketed the fee!

(Tutururututururu.)

The two men were arrested...~

But one of them, set free...~

Poor Burke was hanged, but happily

His corpse was sent to meee!

(And then final last lines. Ohh... Bit whiffy. Still... Much to learn...!)

⬆️ Sample of the precious knowledge I store in my brain

[thethirdromana]

Headcanons of how Deep Space Nine characters smell

Worf Starting off with an easy one. Canon says Worf has “an earthy, peaty aroma” with “a touch of lilacs”. I’m guessing Klingons also smell stronger than humans - not worse, but more. So it’s unpleasant for humans who aren’t used to it, but if they’re around Klingons a lot, they stop noticing it. And Jadzia finds it sexy. 

Bashir Pretty much every other bit of Bashir got genetically engineered, so I’m sure he’s got the gene that means your sweat doesn’t smell. If you get really close he just smells… pleasant. Unremarkable. 

Quark With that dress sense and those nails, I headcanon that Quark, and Ferengi males in general, are dripping in perfume. Something quite intense too, like the Ferengi equivalent of patchouli and vanilla. 

(Rom and Nog are lower-status, so they use less. You can smell the Grand Negus coming from 100m away). 

Jadzia Dax I just feel like Jadzia Dax is one of those people who goes to the gym, works out for ages, gets all sweaty, and then smells great. Not like Bashir, who barely smells at all. But she would smell good.

I will serve my sentence in horny jail as soon as this list is done. 

Ezri Dax I think fragrance is part of Ezri’s identity crisis, coming into Ops smelling of a different perfume every other day. But I think she would settle on something subtle and sweet, like jasmine. 

Sisko Oh you just know Sisko smells good. Sometimes it’s a refreshing shower scent (eucalyptus? Mint?), sometimes it’s from whatever he’s been cooking, sometimes it’s just him. But no one can resist taking a deep breath when Sisko gives them a hug. 

Kira At the risk of controversy, I think early-DS9 Kira was a bit whiffy. I doubt there was much time for personal hygiene in the resistance, and she went from loose, breathable clothing to whatever her uniform is made of, which is the opposite of that. But as she relaxed and got used to not fighting all the time, I think she would indulge in fragrances. And knowing how lush and green Bajor is, I bet they have some wonderful perfumes too. 

O’Brien O’Brien smells like this picture:

I know there’s not much call for engine grease or welding in the future. I know O’Brien’s work mostly involves fixing things that aren’t even dusty, let alone oily. But he still smells like that. Don’t ask me how. 

Keiko Keiko loves a delicate, floral scent. She smells like springtime. Sometimes she mixes perfumes herself. 

Odo Odo smells very little, since he doesn’t release that many Odo-modules into the environment. If you get very close, he smells of his environment, from microscopic bits of dust and Deep Space Nine carpet, and underneath that, a cool smell, like plastic. 

Garak I have to say that while I feel quite confident of some of my answers, I really struggle with how Garak smells. I think he does use a little bit of scent - not a huge amount - and it’s something warm like sandalwood. But I’m not sure. 

Weyoun Vorta smell pleasant but in an unidentifiable, disconcerting way. Not floral, or fruity, or musky, or animal-smelling, nor any other scent that a human can recognise, but on the verge of being familiar, so half of anyone’s concentration when speaking to Weyoun is caught up with wondering what the smell reminds them of.

[lighthouse-system]

“Gorillaz used to be so serious and had lots of lore-“

In the lore they were signed onto a deal with EMI after playing One (1) song in a shitty pub that made everyone break out into a fight. And the dude who signed them on was some shotgun toting loonie named Whiffy Smiffy.

[evangelainy]

my pits are damp who wants a little whiffy-whiff

[regarding-stories]

When your backstory beats your story (Part 1): Aventuria

(This is going to be a bit of a crossover story between two of my blogs.)

You may not have heard of it, but Germany's best-selling role-playing game is called "The Dark Eye" ("Das Schwarze Auge"). Its first edition beat D&D to market in Germany in the early 80s and has been the dominant tabletop RPG there ever since - generating also several computer games, and finally an English edition that was able to create some hype in the US market, something which its publisher Ulisses increasingly targets (because more customers).

The game itself evolved from a very simplistic system that was fast to pick up over two more editions that revised and expanded it, only to become an overly complex monster in its 4th edition where most people needed a fan-made PC editor to create characters. I don't particularly like the system, which always tended to be "whiffy" (lots of rolling for little effect in combat) and has never been truly fixed, unable to let go of its poor game design legacy.

I have a soft spot for 1st edition, though. It's the first RPG I ever played. It's simple. You're not feeling like a complete idiot (like in many editions of D&D at the beginning). It quickly got you into playing. And there existed some decent adventures of the kind I like.

Sold by the stories

While I personally was more into dungeon-style exploration fantasy, Dark Eye adventures tended more towards stories. (I just happened to be led through an adventure of the style I loved when playing first.) The Dark Eye is probably the most-supported system on this planet when it comes to published adventures, numbering in the hundreds.

Most of these are story-based or focus on character interaction to a good degree, and in fact many Dark Eye gamers are kind of stereotyped as wanting to hang out in taverns and with nobles to have long conversations, invoke the setting gods in their exclamations, and generally be more like LARPers (Live Action RolePlaying - when you dress up). I've encountered way too many of them off- and online to disagree - just like D&D is known for its murder hobo power gamers for a reason.

But given the endless focus on dungeon adventures in D&D and saving the world, The Dark Eye can be a breath of fresh air for getting into well-rounded characters, finding solutions to complex problems, and generally, you know, actually role-playing your character.

You know, most of the things that these days make RPG streaming a thing.

A mixture of more low-key stories and various ideas certainly made it stand out compared to D&D, and to this day such preferences can make you chose one game over the other.

So it makes sense we're talking stories here. So why did the Dark Eye have a backstory problem?

Because it was like this

When you started playing in the 1980s, you basically came into a very settled civilization. There was a large "Middle Empire/Realm" which was the successor the original Empire, and it was a country spanning a big part of the map which was, politically, very static. So were most of its neighbors.

If you picked up the official zine of the setting you would hear of events such as the umpteenth "war" between two impoverished mini-states full of country bumpkins with long rivalries as a recent event. In the early 90s a part of the setting evolved towards the renaissance, but that made it seem even more static. (It was, in some ways, a mirror image of part of the history of the Holy Roman Empire of German Nation. The not-so-exciting parts, depending on your tastes.)

There were tantalizing hints that some much cooler place existed beyond the ocean, the Golden Land (or Myranor), but they largely remained hints back then. Years later, after I lost interest, it was published as an alternate setting for the game, IIRC. Think about hearing of it being hinted for a long time in the 90s and then finally starting to appear in 2000 onwards. It was just too late for me, personally.

Stoking desires but not fulfilling them was a hallmark of The Dark Eye for a long time. Because interesting things did happen, but they either happened somewhere else, far away, or outright unavailable (like Myranor, a discontinued Hollow Earth setting with Japan as inspiration), or in an even less reachable place - the past.

Splendor Of Days Gone By

There is a temptation for any fantasy author, especially authors writing setting books for players, to make up grand chronologies of past events. People generally blame Tolkien for this, given that he created a grand mythological setting with several long ages as backdrop for his "Lord of the Rings".

The reason the "Tolkien did it too" argument is rather weak (in my book) is, however, that Tolkien created his mythology as the backdrop to an engaging, much-beloved story. Compare how many people have read "The Lord of the Rings" with how many have read "The Silmarillion" and you can immediately see how Tolkien did not slack on giving us a good, dramatic story when we first heard about it.

Not so most fantasy authors.

Reading the Dark Eye's history of the setting itself, you have to wonder about the state of mind the authors. Here they put all those exciting events that almost none of their adventures contained:

A royal family of the Old Empire that fell to demon worship and incest.

A march of 1,000 ogres that razed the biggest city in the world.

Wars of conquest, rebellions, the formation of nations.

Several orc invasions.

A sorcerer-king that was in league with demons.

A magican and philosopher-king who ended that threat and ruled a looong time.

A viking era.

Etc.

I really remember reading this back in the day and, being the newbie I was, just being desperate about how boring the present was. Basically the backstory often kicked ass. It had movers and shakers, big dramatic events, and what the Chinese might call "interesting times."

Fixed After All

Eventually the makers of the game (the editorial board, as they are called), noticed themselves. Somewhere around the year 2000 games with meta-plots became a thing, especially in Germany, and big events kept changing their settings, keeping them interesting and preparing the ground for new adventures. And eventually Aventuria, the world of the Dark Eye, followed suit.

For example by bringing the sorcerer-king back and letting players be the protagonists influencing the events that end up bringing him down. What a novel idea...

Looking at the time-line since you kind of think that maybe these people realized they had buried all the excitement in their own, made-up history, because now there are events in there that are clearly inspired by what "came before" as the setting keeps marching forward.

Why it took them up to two decades to realize this is anybody's guess.

The role of backstory is typically to establish the "why" of elements in your story - or here the why of the setting. In Aventuria's case, it did the job of explaining the borders and where the various nations come from, but somehow, and rather unintentionally, it painted the picture of a dynamic and exciting world that eventually solidified and ended up as a rather sclerotic, phlegmatic version of itself.

In the end, as an author, that would have been the point to ask yourself which makes the better story. And go with that.