#who base characters on communities they dont belong to and then have them do things people in those communities wouldnt do

[noomyguts]

they tried to base this show in realism, not really scifi cause its all current technology that exists which is fine, it's a murder mystery with a tech setting, but then they write characters that are both portrayed as experts in tech but also ignorant to modern technological downsides

[mrsmangi]

hi!!

i js realized and UGH I FEEL SO STUPID BUT i realized how much of an impact fanficiton can actually dent to the whole "some people are forgetting luigi's inspo and purpose and the whole crux of this situation" im not sure if it is disrespectful that's why i wanted to run it by to u guys but we can totally bring things to perspective on luigi's current conditions. how scared he is, how ignorant MEDIA is in general, we can totally do it and honestly we already are!! most of the fanfictions ive read are raising awareness about the struggles of going through traumatic surgeries, making people feel seen about injuries they had that are similar to luigi's!! i just want to clarify that im not saying that EVERYTHING we choose to write to be apart of this community must be sort of tasked to carry the weight of the world at all times and have this altruistic can-do attitude about it. what im saying is that we all require something real even if it is in our fantasies - real as in something that is close to us as humans and ive realized that there is always and forever will be a certain standing that we take against oppressors that quote and quote "work in the shadows - making them systems of cowardice" most importantly ive noticed that us as a community loves fanfiction that humanizes luigi - we live vicariously through the name of "y/n" and that is just us feeling human and through this fandom we create a community an institution with a base for smart thinkers and creative writers i think luigi has inspired a lot of people and it is important to note that people especially creators - those who know they belong or has hosted a blog or whatever type of creative craft of their that hones their skills are easily touched by topics that wake them up and inspire them - those are topics that are hard to forget

so i just wanted to share this message! and im sending this as Phoenix (pseudonym) to my favorite luigi writers, you guys dont have to respond politically or feel pressured to completely agree with what im saying i mean im still learning and im def a minor exposed to media so of course i am subject to multiple errors! i just felt the need to say it and im too shy to post it on my actual tumblr..

clarification: i really dont mean this as an attack or as a self-righteous claim :(( i sent this to you because i adore you and ur writing, how u see the world, how u contribute to this fandom, and how u make us feel dare i say... one with the one we are reading about!! im sorry if i said anything bad or insensitive or just offending in any way!! dont be pressured to reply to this i just realized that it's important for me to share my voice even if i think it doesnt matter because it might matter to others who would like to read it

by the way!! i got these ideas a lot from a book called the message by ta nehisi coates!! if you love writing you'd love this book for sure :))

i really dont mean to offend and i apologize for the long message my love!! i hope you have a great day please drink water and stay safe!!

hi, gorgeous! first of all, there’s nothing to feel stupid about! please know, in my blog, i am always open to having ur guys’ perspectives on luigi (or anything, really!), so for that i thank u for sharing it!

i rly appreciate your passion for the community and for raising awareness about luigi’s story. i completely agree that fanfiction can be a powerful tool to connect with his experiences and to humanize him, but i’ll admit, i’ve also found myself hesitant at times to write about him for similar reasons.

to me, there’s a fine line between exploring his story and romanticizing him in a way that might overshadow the real, political, and lawful consequences he’s currently facing. it’s important for everyone to remember that luigi is NOT a perfect person. i don’t mean it in a bad way, i just mean that like all of us, he has flaws. he is not a fictional character. he’s a living, breathing, and currently incarcerated human being. but personally, i believe those flaws are what make him such an interesting and complex character to write about. in my most recent work, “found,” i rly tried to balance that idea. while fiction lets writers create beautiful and romantic things, we can’t forget the reality of his situation or replace it with fantasy.

we should never sugarcoat the situation luigi is going through. i actively do my best to not do so either. i find his darker, more flawed aspects to be what makes his story so compelling, and i think that grounding my writing in that reality helps me explore him in a way that feels more authentic.

i appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this, and i encourage you to keep researching, reflecting, and learning. i’ll def do my best to do the same, and i’m so glad to see how deeply this community values meaningful discussions like this.

i see you and i hear you. 💕🫶🏼

[raihanijulie]

[ LEMNISCUS GUIDE BLOG!!! ]

☆Reading until end of blog will be much appreciated!!! (Psst, theres a discord server link i slipped in btw....)

Picture below isnt accurate with tumblr bc this was made for instagram post.

You may be wondering... "What is Lemniscus? Why do you keep mentioning it in your posts?"

TO BEGIN WITH, Lemniscus is one of the planets in this universe with Ribbaniuns the living beings in it! The population of Lemniscus consist the various anthropomorphic animals.

And thats where we begin sharing the story and contents of these characters by the name LEMNISCUS! You could say Lemniscus is a series/project my friends and i worked on together!!! (We took Lemniscus bc we literally only focus on this planet... No else.)

#Lemniscus -> tag used for Lemniscus related posts :3

SEE ALSO: Lemniscus Timeline

Lemniscus doesnt have a main plot honestly. We are just putting in characters in Lemniscus and let them live their life💥

Ah... So then, "Who are the characters? Why do they look like the characters from Sonic series?"

THIS. is a good one to explain and i reallly want you guys to keep in mind with this!!!!

Yes! The Lemniscus cast does look like the characters from Sonic the hedgehog because they do take the design and traits inspiration from them! BUT! The personality, backstories, interractions, lores, all of those... We worked and develop on it ourselves!!! (Theres similiarities still, but its only SLIGHT!!! Theres some differences when compared)

Thats why this is NOT counted as Sonic au, instead, its their own universe and story! The Lemniscus cast are original characters/ocs based on existing character that later we develop so they wont look EXACTLY like the existing char they took inspiration of!

I could say that this universe's origins of making is basically 'based on Sonic'. Throughout time, there are improvisasion little by little as we worked on building chars and stories, making it their own thing :D!! So, again, Lemniscus and Sonic are two different thing... I appreciate yall's understanding. I dont want any miscommunication between Lemniscus and Sonic franchise! <"3

The original characters belong to their respective owners <3 (Keep in mind we are 4 person putting our characters in ONE and worked together in this)

Alright!!! Now INTRODUCE THE CAST/CHARACTERS!

As in the main characters! Here ill list out the characters name with their profile links AND respective owners too! Get to know each of them by clicking their names:

Hz Railstar, Alora Quinn, Victoria Opal, Ezra (JULIE/HANA!!! ME!!! :D HOIHOI!!! I link you guys to my chars' masterpost in tumblr hehe,,, its more detailed!!!)

Gausberto, Nova, Puffin, Xenophone (Hani! NOTE: She doesnt put much infos of her characters, i'll most likely be the one to share the infos through source from her she is my own sister after all Infos about Hani's chars are most likely in the discord server!)

Aero and Noire ( @m3tr0n0m333 )

Rambutan Stoneheart ( @cherriosblog )

.

OH!!! But thats not it!! Theres more infos i'd like to share....

Slowly but surely, we noticed our Lemniscus contents dragged people to start being curious about it, even interested with the series/project we worked! Of course, with a warm welcome, we opened a discord server, ☆LEMNISCUS (Hz Universe), for the little community we have :D!!!

The server is a great place for you to learn more about the characters (bc again, SOME of the Lemniscus cast here are explained alot more in the discord server instead!) and LORESSS obviously! Its even easier and you can keep on track whenever new things are shared by us :)

The characters arent only the ones shown here... In fact, there are more than you think. Yes! Im talkin bout the side characters! Theyre mostly explained and digged alot more in the server soo....

Hop in and join to get more familliar of Lemniscus!! ☆

.

This must conclude the blog. Thank you everyone for the consideration and supports of this little project we worked on! <3 I, the one to start all this fun chaotic universe is very grateful that i'd make it this far by sharing contents of these silli cast, not only me, but by you dedicated supporters and friends that worked alongside me ☆

Live, laugh, burn Hertz!🔥🔥🔥🔥

[ask-underzom]

why was papyrus killed off? will there be a scene describing his death, what happened to him? and can we see how it effects the characters afterwards? (sans, undyne, alphys, MTT specifically since they were the closest)

Papyrus was killed off mostly for character building purposes with Sans. and also bcz i cant and refuse to draw him. 😭

I promise you its for good reason. He’s naive and eager to help people. Personally, id dont think hed last long without toughening up a little. I love papyrus, but a zombie apocalypse is not where he belongs. Its not where a lot of these characters belong, which is why they all depend on each other.

In the comic. or. book. or whatever im gonna do with this au, there is gonna be a scene about his death, and theres gonna be reactions to it.

For how it impacts the characters, id prefer to. write it rather than show it with images, because its a LOT to draw out.

For one;

Sans was devastated. He tried to save Papyrus in the moment, but in an attempt he had used more magic than hes used to. Since monsters have gone years without use of immense amounts of magic (Modern commodities made it easier to live), summoning a powerful magic attack blinded him temporarily and left him visually impaired. After it settled in, he stopped doing a lot of things. He stopped getting up for militia work, quit working in the lab, and refused to leave his bed. He was useless for months until Alphys proposed an elaborate plan to, hopefully, find a cure.

Undyne was upset as well, but took a different approach to it. Prior to the incident, she was full of energy and determined to get through it. She tried to remain positive and keep people looking up, but that all .. fell apart once Papyrus died. She continued her work, but she got meaner. Straight to the point, no time for chit chat. She got impatient and demanding. Whatever the militia had been doing before, they were doing tenfold now. It lost a few members. Unlike Sans, she became more cautious and careful. Any sign of danger? She’d go in first ti make sure the others didn’t get hurt. She wasnt reckless; she wasnt cowardly. Undyne saw that without Papyrus, things got more serious, dangerous. She acted accordingly to such.

Mettaton didnt get a chance to know Papyrus until after the apocalypse started and he was called to come spend time with family instead of travelling. When the commune started and everyone had to go into groups, Papyrus was originally ordered to stay at base and help ration. Occasionally, he’d dabble in medical work while helping others under the supervision of his father, Gaster, or he’d help in entertaining other and keep them distracted. Thats where he met Mettaton. They talked, they bantered, and they hit off. They made good friends, and it stayed that way. A couple months after the apocalypse started, Muffet had joined the group and took over Papyrus’s position, which pushed him to join the militia. Mettaton, among others, urged him not to. When he did join, Mettaton was pretty upset. They saw eachother less and less, but when they did, he acted in support. After papyrus died, Mettaton’s life didnt change much. His routines seemed more… lackluster. He didnt seem as happy and distracting as he thought, and his attempts to cheer everyone up went pretty sour. He didnt put as much effort into his job as he should have been. Luckily, he made good recovery after some time of grief. He confided in Sans and Alphys, where Alphys was more of a help than Sans was.

Considering they werent… the best of friends, he got over it quicker than the others, but he was still down,

Other notable characters;

Alphys, who was upset for Sans and because Papyrus was usually great to be around. She seemed more unwilling to work for a week or two.

Dentin and Sid, who liked having Papyrus around. Dentin smiled less and Sid became more irritable, but they got through it.

Grillby was upset and tried to get Sans to talk about it with him, but to no prevail.

The commune itself seemed a little down after that, but most of them made good recovery after a 1-2 weeks of grief.

[mybodymylifemyidentity]

My blog does not promote harm to others! I value the tumblr guidelines and follow them, if you do not, please go away -_-

I cant give you transition tips. I am not a doctor or a therapist or any of that! That is not what this blog is for.

My stance on controversial topics is dictated by who follows or reblogs from me. thats a crazy thing to assume? anyone can reblog my stuff, that doesnt mean i agree with them or disagree with them.

This blog is not the place for sexual things, sorry. and no discourse in general either. i mean it.

I have no "Do not interact", please just be kind. If you are unkind, i will block you. I will not engage with you. I wouldnt publish any askbox hate. I only ask that if you are bigoted against someone's trans identity, you ask yourself if you are repeating the exact same transphobia you dislike in other places, and if you are just disgusted/afraid of new things, VS actually effected.

this blog is not under the radqueer label, not because of "agreeing or disagreeing" but because that is just not the subject of the blog. i am not pro radqueer or anti radqueer. that is not the subject of this blog.

it's not my fault or responsibility if other people do things. insane the kind of things you have to say these days. effing obviously!

(i post on queue)

The art on this blog is ok to use if you use it nicely. Just be a kind person. You dont have to credit it if youre just using as a reaction image and that kind of thing. I would prefer if you dont use my artwork in a hateful way, but i cant control you, but if you see people edit my artwork to be hateful, please do not engage. many of the people who may edit my stuff to be hateful or upsetting to you are going to be trolls, so just dont interact with them? dont feed the trolls -_-. if they edit hateful flags and stuff on my art, being bigoted is already enough punishment, they live a sad enough life already, so dont try to punish them "for" me. i dont want anyone to be rude anyways, and if you attack others "for" me, you make me mad at you. every time you see hate, try to make a positive post! every time you see bigotry, make a kind post towards that group. if someone uses my artwork to be transphobic and you see it, spread more kindness in those spaces / in your community. uplifting eachother is so much more important than "counter attacking" random internet strangers. If someone makes you mad, block them.

This blog focuses mostly on wide label general transids. i wont do microlabel drawings, sorry. I /might/ do general but specific identity flag things. (EX: transgender -> transmasc -> transmasc gender flag that is microlabel.) this isnt because i "dont like microlabels" or something, but because it would be exhausting.

Due to this, I do not do sexuality or paraphile content either. This is a trans blog, sorry. (SO no "can you do this with the gay flag?" or "can you do this with the objectophile flag?" sorry, i wont do it. you can of course be inspired by me and do it yourself though!)

"Can i trace or edit your artwork?" sure, whatever. i prefer a @ or at least my url mentioned somewhere if youre too shy to @ but i dont really care.

"Can we be friends?" probably not. i mean this in the nicest way possible! i love everyone on earth, but we dont know eachother. i love seeing people share kindness and love and i want to share kindness and love with you, but unless you naturally meet me in a server somewhere (im not really in any) im not really going to have a talk with you or anything, im not a big talker anyways. we can be kind to eachother and whatever but... idk you and im not here to make friends as much as i am to make our communities share the love.

"may i draw characters you design on here? " of course! they belong to the community! you can headcanon them, ship them, ect all whatever!

--------------------------

I take request!

I do:

reaction gifs/pics /emojis

design a wolf for a identity and flag

reaction images / gifs based off other images (old deviantart PLZ and thinsg like it, and rage meme faces are my favorite.)

Art of the designs i make on this blog (if you ship them, want reaction images specifically, etc. basically the above ^ but with those designs instead of blank wolves.)

maybe more later :3 idk

I only draw canines or MAYBE felines. Soz thats just how it is. i am a certified wolfaboo

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I do the following flags automatically / as default:

transid

transgender

transracial

transpecies

transabled

transage

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List of existing character designs:

None yet!

[straydogkins]

hey, i was just wondering what do you think is wrong with IRLs? I thought that they couldnt control their beliefs. I dont want to start an argument or anything ive just never heard of that being bad before

Hi anon, I will answer this to the best of my ability just know that it's early morning and I am somewhat upset about an unrelated event so I may not be entirely coherent.

To start with I want to make something very clear: We have PNOS, it's been diagnosed. We've had delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, impared speech abilities, brain fog, ect. for 6 years (probably longer before it was picked up on and treated) alongside this and we're on antipsychotics. So I will be talking from the point of view of someone who has a psychotic disorder and knows what they're talking about in regards to psychotic disorders from lived experience.

-

Now for the main issues of this ask: It's not the delusions we have issues with. You can't control your delusions. I know this, in the past we've had 'delusional attachments' (medically they are classed as a form of delusion of grandeur, so that's what we will probably call them through out this post) that we're either a fictional characters and religious figures. It's just a thing that can happen when you're psychotic.

-

However, the issues we do have with these people are with the community, the language used in said community, and the attitudes that are common in there.

Let's start with the 'less important' medical stuff: 'Delusional attachments' and 'IRL' are terms made up by the community. This is not an inherently bad thing, for example in the DID community we have several terms (ie EC-DID) that aren't medical that people use for clarification and there's no inherent issue with this. However, my issues with the medical side is when people act like it is an official diagnostic term/thing for psychotic disorders because it isn't and never has been.

Now the real issues deep rooted in the community (and my main issue): The Encouragement of delusions and attitudes towards psychotic and schizo-spec individuals.

If someone is having a delusion (regardless of if it's harmful or not) You shouldn't encourage it (it will push the person further into the delusion) or reality check them (will cement the belief instead of discouraging it a lot of the time). Although complicated, it's important to walk the line between the two and not encourage the delusions or make the person feel like they aren't being listened to or mocked. The community is... Not like this at all.

Say I believed I was Hastune Miku and in that community, it would be Very common and encouraged to call me Miku and act as if I'm Hatsune Miku irl. This will encourage the delusion that I am Miku and send us deeper into a psychotic episode.

Another thing from our experience actually being in the community, 'DA's' are treated as the Only Psychotic Symptom people experience.

For example, we have seen people claiming to be psychotic and they Only have the firm belief they are [character], this is a major issue for us because psychotic disorders (even on a base level) always have comorbid symptoms (disorganized speech, hallucinations, ect) which is an issue for a community that claims to only be for people with psychotic disorders.

Which leads to people actively trying to give themselves psychotic symptoms, being pressured into saying they have symptoms inorder to belong, or just flat out lying about being psychotic.

This can then also lead to some really wild hostility towards people whose delusions are 'undesirable' (ie believing that you're dead, that everyone around you have been replaced, ect ect) I've seen people with delusional attachments harass and trigger people with psychotic disorders- Even in the community I've seen people who are doubles interacting with other doubles with the sole reason of wanting them to spiral for being a double.

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Long post short: We have no issues with the delusion of being [character], it's the community at large we have issues with.

-

Alternative readings

An essay written about the term Delusional attachment (with medical sources)

Tumblr user strawberrybabydog has a really good tag talking about the issues with the term, the community, all of it

There's a few cards out there but I don't link linking them because I don't know who wrote them and some of them are lacking in info imo.

[fkapossession]

What to do when you used to be evil?

"Hi everyone," i say to an utterly empty theater. somehow i still hear someone booing

um yeah idk i made this tumblr after i was reminded my tumblr posts are still like, somewhat reachable, at least a couple of the ones thatgot a decent amount of notes. And that some of them are still circulating kind of it seems just from like. googling my deactivated url then clicking through the notes. im like totally aware no one is gonna see this but i know the chance that someone will see this is less than 0 so i use that to justify making it seem as though im talking to an audience. But also if i didnt want anyone to read this i wouldnt be posting it on a very accessible tumblr blog would i.

i deactivated my tumblr in like, may of 2023 after being on & off the site since i was about 8 or 9 years old. A large chunk of my life was basically just tumblr. Ive met some friends i still hold dear via tumblr, although most of us have never met in person i still value their online friendship and theyre basically the only reason i still have a fucking discord account lol. Anyway. i was an extremely lonely person who lived on tumblr. i also happened to be someone who was insecure, suffering & yet still had some like massive ego despite my lacking social skills or lacking life or w/e which in turn caused me to be extremely mean spirited online... And behave in a cringe manner.

when i say "behave in a cringe manner" i dont mean i like, really liked anime or shipped myself with a fictional character (I do now btw because its actually, how do you say, based) to me thats not necessarily cringe... althohg i believed differently at the time. When i say i behaved in a cringe manner i mean i was the kind of person to mock those kinds of people & act all superior as if i wasnt like, kinning really bizarre fictional characters for multiple years. (No hate to the kinnies, i was one, but you are not exactly in the position to mock someone else for their media related obsessions or whatever LOL)

I was a straight up cyberbully even when i was like, 20. I went through a fairly long period of my life where i seemed to feel no remorse, care about nobody except for myself, post outrageous shit just to post it. It makes me sick to think about, how i could be soo like cruel & stupid & weird to people who really didnt deserve it, no one deserves to be told such cruel things. I brought more hate into the world from the ages of like. 12-21 i wanna say. I know some people believe cyberbullying isnt real, youshould just "log off" and while i may agree with the latter i certainly dont with the former. "Just log off" isn't such easy advice, anyway. especially to teenagers -- especially now, my god, its a growing number of kids that think social media is their life. I thought that way in my adolescence & i regret it. Some say regret is pointless, i disagree. i dont think any emotion is pointless, maybe nostalgia but i think even nostalgia has its benefits -- just not for me in particular lol. I think you have to sit with your regrets sometimes and listen to your regrets so that you don't repeat that mistake in the future. Just try not to carry regrets that don't belong to you ykwim. like if you got abused by a partner and you regret going into that relationship.. you didn't know what you were getting into. thats regret thats meant to be carried by the abuser, you know?

It may seem from my long winded rambling that im like, on something, so i should add now -- im nearly 2 and a half years clean. :) i think last time i was on tumblr i had recently moved back home from my sober home, the treatment i got there was a success pretty much! ive been sober since feb. 2023. I got my GED 2 weeks ago. I'm in the process of signing up for community college although ill probably wait til the spring 2026 semester and work a job in the meantime, im not sure. All this to say i am in recovery and i think ive gotten better, but what comes with that is guilt & shame for who i was. Sometimes i wonder if that will define me forever, especially since you can definitely find some cringe or terrible shit ive said on tumblr to this day & will probably be able to for..like.. ever. the internet is forever. I knew that, but that didn't cross my mind at the time, because i was not a good person. yes some of the outrageous stuff i said was trolling (or "ragebaiting" as the kids call it now) does that make it better? I really don't think so

hold on coughing up a loogie (i still smoke :() gonna write another post shortly

[grimxark]

tags from @miracle-moons​ I agree 100%. I think it has been a long time since people have majorly read mtmte (or the other comics he shows up in) or they just didnt really pay attention which isn’t something bad.

But as an outsider (I only just now started interacting with the community) I can tell that Rodimus’ character kinda left the idea of who he is and nearly everything is based on a heavy headcanon basis. Which also isn’t bad, it’s just fact that eventually you start making a brand new character in your head based on incredibly few panels that don’t dictate all that much of the character. Fandom Rodimus is fun and I like joking about it, but i love exploring canon rodimus and the intricacies of his brain.

This might get a little long (so sorry about that I just love talking about him) so I’ll hide it under a cut

Rodimus is like. He lives for people. He thrives from people. He has also shown to suffer and shown to sacrifice several things for people. He loses his team looking for/gathering the Magnificence, he spends years thinking he lost an entire team (im sure this is listed among his many failings in teamwork) and then finds that Dealer’s alive, and he spends weeks planning to get him out of an extremely dangerous prison. And sure, it turns out that Dealer was a POS, but Hot Rod is extremely trusting, pretends to be, and when they reach the Magnificence Hot Rod doesn’t really even think twice about shooting dealer. This is the type of moment you’d get the hero hesitating, asking why, saying shit like “I trusted you, we trusted you” but Hot Rod literally doesn’t even let Double dealer properly process what’s going on before he shoots him. Because that’s just the type of guy he is i suppose? I hope this makes sense.

Like, this doesn’t mean Rodimus doesnt care. He cares, and he cares deeply. When Trailcutter dies, maybe Rodimus isn’t shown mourning, but when they go back in time and hes just... there, its like Rodimus is looking at his best friend or something similar, when both of them never really seemed to talk. In the short time Trailcutter and Megatron were in the same ship together, Megatron made more of an impression on him, and seemed to even form a bond with, than Rodimus did in the several months leading to Megatron joining. But Rodimus was also instantly willing to fuck up an entire timeline by telling Trailbreaker about not going down to the location of his death, and he wails when CD erases that memory from him.

There’s Overlord, there’s the thing with Rung reading him. He didnt destroy his room because rewind and others died. He destroyed his room because he didnt. He destroyed his room because he wasnt one of the unlucky few. And Rodimus is angry, and though indirectly, he does threaten Rung to leave. But he also admits his wrongdoings, and obviously it plagues him, and obviously he wants to belong somewhere and be a part of some kind of group, but he isn’t the best “in the moment” communicator. The way he behaves is incredibly neurodivergent to me (in an ADHD/Autism way), unable to seek out others, absolutely hates any sort of rejection to the point of avoiding anything to do with it completely, and he’s just overall so worried about his image and how people view him and how that might reflect that he chooses the easier path of being welcoming and nice and loud and obnoxious, and not angry and bitter (like seen with thunderclash and Megatron, at the start). Rodimus tries to hold grudges, too, to further enforce a persona, but I dont think he can manage it. The most telling thing about this, about the way people view him vs how he truly is, is the “trial” with the gods, where everyone says he just wants to get back to the Lost Light is to get revenge on Getaway, but he truly just wants to go back because that’s his crew’s home, and if that’s his crew’s home then it’s his, too. Where they’re happiest. This is further enforced when he not only doesn’t kill Getaway, but also saves him. Because, hey, he’s a piece of shit, but he also understands in a way. Not killing Getaway isn’t because of “oh if i kill him ill be just as bad”, I’d say its more of a “Megatron is a warlord and we did kinda just. let him have it easy so i understand the hatred”. I do think he shouldve been the one to kill him though, because Getaway also killed quite a few of crewmembers, and that’s not something Rodimus would’ve easily accepted.

Rodimus’ “rod team” or whatever i dont remember the name, all consist of the same people (excluding rung, and lotty, i think) that are in Nautica’s amica circle. And he’s not in there, because he doesnt spend time with them. Hes not interested in science, hes not interested in much of anything the others are clearly invested in, and everyone else clearly seek each other out to talk about feelings and interests because they share those in common, but nobody knows Rodimus and has never known Hot Rod. Nobody knows about Nyon. Nobody knows about hot rod-almost-a-decepticon. They just know obnoxious Rodimus who carried the matrix once. And even that wasnt for himself! Hot Rod stole Magnus’ ship and instead of going anywhere else he went to retrieve the matrix, and he died for it, and then he just instantly gave it back to Optimus the first chance he got because. well, because he doesnt want the matrix. Its just a title. I dont recall hot rod ever saying he wants to be a prime, if its something he ever strived to be. he wasnt even the one who came up with Rodimus, it was Swindle, and I feel like the biggest reason he accepted it is because he wanted to get away from the memories and the person that makes Hot Rod. New name, fresh start, yeah?

Anyway sorry this kinda carried on for a While. rodimus is like a lab rat to me that i enjoy studying

tldr; Rodimus is selfishly selfless, he lives for people and not for himself, hes self destructive, and hes horrible at actually knowing what friendships are like.

I’m going to reread all of idw tf eventually but while I don’t I want to talk abt how I realized that, like. Rodimus is very much the type of guy who thrives in a group but also kind of never indulges in said group. Megatron goes (at least he went once?) to movie nights. I’ve never seen Rodimus mention that he goes. He has the rod team but its also like. He never really interacts with them or is implied to interact with them outside things we can see. He’s only ever around when Drift’s around and even then he wasnt all that present.

[writingwithcolor]

Avoiding Anglocentric Bias with a Universal Translator, Writing a Magic School on Indigenous Land

@king-ofconfusion​ asked:

So im writing a fantasy story that mostly takes place on an island between canada and russia. The magical community is hidden from everyone else and their main land/school is on this island, and even tho there are smaller places all over the world this is the main place. Theres some sort of translation spell so everyone understands eachother but i dont want it to seem like american washed or smth? race isnt a problem plot wise but i also dont want it to be so background that it seems all white?

I’ll focus on the part about the translator, as when you say “American washed” I assume you mean the Anglocentric (English-centric) bias that could arise with the concept of a universal translator. Mod Lesya will talk about your...choice of location for this school.

As a bilingual & linguist who thinks in a quasi-combination of languages, I think I’d like to see an idea of a spell that translates to that individual’s unique linguistic interface; if your story has multiple closed POVs, you can show hints of that by having different POV characters hear dialogue differently—maybe language-unique lexemes (vocabulary) are being borrowed! Maybe there’s code-switching! If your story has a more omniscient POV then you might have a part that explains how the spell works, or show through ambiguities in dialogue that shows that characters are hearing dialogue differently depending on what languages they understand. 

As an example, think of how a character who speaks German, an agglutinative language, might create new vocabulary by stringing together morphemes, and a character who doesn’t speak an agglutinative language would hear that via the spell as a literal-translation-of-words-strung-together. 

Think of semantic differences/ambiguities that the spell might not (or might! Up to you!) catch—I give an example on the differences between answering negative yes-no questions in English vs. Japanese here. 

You might even get cases of characters who speak languages that may name borrowings with prototypical labels (English does this, but other languages like Spanish do too). An example is referring to masala chai as “chai tea.” What happens if a Hindi or Urdu speaker hears this? The translator may either literally translate and return “tea tea,” or it might apply context and return “masala chai.” Here’s some more food for thought on borrowings & prototypes! 

Assuming you’re writing this story in English, there will unavoidably be some bias towards English as the basis for your translations. But hopefully this approach gives some ideas for challenging English-as-default by representing forms and meanings that don’t exist in English, and not assuming English is necessarily the prototype for these translations.

~Mod Rina 

Here’s the elephant in the room Rina tapped me to answer: you’ve chosen Indigenous land for a magic school, without acknowledging any Indigenous peoples in your worldbuilding or ask.

The arctic is not uninhabited. That stretch of land between Russia and Alaska (Canada does not go that far West) is the region of Yupik peoples, both on the Russia and Alaska sides (it’s the only language family that is found in both the old and new world), and the Iñupiat peoples, just on the Alaska side (as far as I’m aware).

If you do mean Canada, then you’re getting onto the polar ice cap… and this is also not completely uninhabited. This territory would belong more to Inuit peoples.

In short: you’re at a pretty large risk of having this school be on Indigenous lands, and whether or not it’s a colonial outpost or simply a safe haven depends on how they go about it.

It is possible that there is a genuine, respectful relationship between the Indigenous peoples and the school. The school would have to surrender its land ownership to the people local to the region, respect hunting grounds, not muck with the ecology of the place, and help the people of the region. They would, essentially, acclimate into Arctic life, creating a cultural hybrid between their old customs and what is required to be in the Arctic.

But if you start to have this school try to recreate European ideals, foods, and have them insist their way of life is the only way that can exist, then your magic users have become colonizers. It’s, unfortunately, that simple.

The thing about this island is: Indigenous peoples would’ve known about it, probably before these magic users did.

Arctic peoples also crossed between Russia and Alaska “late” (after the land bridge sank), and very well could have found this island in the time they travelled by water between the two countries. Late is relative, because it was still at least ten thousand years ago.

That land could very well have been inhabited before the magic users got there, which means they would have had to be extremely respectful to not colonize that land. As I said above, it’s possible to be respectful, but requires the magic school default to Indigenous voices when it comes to how to live there.

If it’s uninhabited, then it’s likely known about. These magic users probably don’t have enough magic to completely alter the wave patterns of the ocean, which an ocean-navigating Indigenous people would absolutely know how to use in order to find land (this is one of the ways many peoples navigate at sea).

The other option is the school is actually Yupik or other Arctic peoples founded and uses their belief structure, which would require an intense amount of working with the peoples in question to inform your worldbuilding. 

To be clear: you still need to account for Indigenous peoples and research/talk to members of the peoples I listed above. It’s just going to be less work if you stick with a European magic system and have them be visitors working heavily with Arctic peoples, instead of having the magic system be based in Arctic peoples’ customs.

I’m not from the Arctic. The Arctic has a unique colonization history that I’m not very well educated upon, beyond the fact it’s unique, recent, and suddenly devastating. I cannot advise you on this any more than saying you are on Indigenous lands. I would strongly suggest you look at all of the other “remote, uninhabited” compounds you’ve created to see what Indigenous peoples live in those regions, as well. 

The idea that the earth is mostly barren and unused and lacks meaningful human presence is a colonialist myth that is used to perpetuate the concept (white) Europeans can move in without consequence. Many harsh climates have Indigenous peoples living there, and any magical communities need to do similar practices to the ones I outlined above.

Make sure they’re not taking land, and make sure they learn how to respect it the way the local peoples do: sustainably. That’s the bare minimum.

~ Mod Lesya

[phantom-bleu]

I think people can be a little too harsh on the tlers its smth ive thought abt for a while. Like ppl criticised wizard cookie for being much “meaner” in the revised english translation but actually he was always a pretty snarky kid even back in ovenbreak, they just dialled it up and also gave him jabs in his dialogue that made more sense in english. And espressos supposed diff personality in eng to kr bc thanks to koreans grammar systems he slips from polite/formal into informal on occasion to make a point abt his upbringing. You obviously cant do that in english so expecting translators to just magically come up w a faithful tl for that isnt fair. Except english does have a form of the same thing which they did use, espresso talks in such contrived formal sentences w zero contractions or any figures of speech to the complexity that ive seen a couple of instances where ppl didnt even understand what his dialogue meant. And we can ask ourselves why that was their chosen method. While i cant read korean we can only assume espressos formal speech is to adapt to high republic society which hes not born into and treats him worse for it, and hes on the defence to prove his place there. And we can also only assume his informal tense is more true 2 his natural way of talking. In english espressos so well-spoken its jarring compared with other charas, esp latte who is a similar position to him but so much more relaxed, and he comes across as stuck-up and rude for it. But doesnt that also serve the same purpose as being a voice he puts on to prove he belongs in academia/high society/etc bc if you really thought abt it his manner of speaking just wouldnt naturally happen. Does this kind of alter his personality? Yeah but in the case where they struggled to tl a largely grammar-based point of characterisation into a language where u just cant do the same thing he would probably come across as so much drier. A localisation being different to the original text isnt a bad thing, its often necessary to rephrase things or make changes to a character so that these small things abt charas r communicated more intuitively without you having to think abt them or keeping in mind that the game isnt originally english. Like they arent trying to sabotage a characters personality most of the time they have to make minor sacrifices so that you arent completely lost trying to pick up on all the subtext and cues from a culture u arent from. This is the point where id also defend the 1 dchoco line in the dark cacao kingdom storyline everyone and their mother had a problem with but i dont remember it so im not gonna

[twodimentionalgenie16]

this is me. i don't have a name, nor do i have a specified gender, but i identify as non human. i don't know what to call myself, as i’ve only started last month, and i know certain communities are very strict on identification, so i’ve been calling myself just non human. i don't care if i lose followers because i am who i am.

i’ve been calling this creature a “feriss”, specifically a driftwood breed, but they’re on a more familiar branch with spinks and narehates like faputa (given the four arms, claws, big ears and horns.) i have a neal the eel based pattern design because i’ve been kinda hyperfocusing (i also have buck teeth and wanna be a kiwi tbh.)

i’ve been identifying because i’ve gradually lost hope for humanity throughout my life. if you’re human and reading this, you’ve been fighting, tearing each other apart, destroying yourselves out of greed and malicious intent, destroying others, destroying lives, destroying the planet, tearing down communities that don't deserve it, and for some reason all the good ones leave first. you’ve taken land that doesn't belong to you and destroyed the people that were there first. your species is infamous for creating havoc and hurting yourselves as much as you’re hurting others. so don’t come after me if i wanna swim in a mangrove and look for shiny rocks and stuff. identification is the closest i’ll get to freedom.

im not fully animal. im forced to live here.

i like listening to melanie martinez (specifically portals cause i feel seen with the whole thing and i love that she’s finally doing what she wants), my favorite show is carmen sandiego, my favorite characters in any show are faputa, neal the eel, mime bomb, charlotte charades, bingo (bluey) and a lot of mimes. i wanna move to new zealand, my favorite type of vibes are mysterious nature and mangroves (my type of biome), and others. i don’t support MAPs or zoophiles. so DNI if you’re one of them.

i don't think i’ll be going back to twitter any time soon. so dont go looking for me there.

so hi. this is the old me (yes i did use my hair as a mask), and i feel better now.

[calypsolemon]

like ok. here's the thing

Jonathan chose an inherently dangerous and unethical line of work. There's plenty of valid scientific jobs out there that don't involve creating a dangerously unstable portal to unknown universe for a crimelord. The fact that he was immediately ostracized for becoming a scientific anomaly should not have been shocking to him - loyalty doesn't even run skin deep in the alchemax workplace culture. By all accounts, he shouldn't be THIS emotionally attached to his job.

Unless.

A line that spot says that KEEPS sticking out to me from the movie is that he was handsome "by scientist standards." Shoot me for reading too far into this line (though honestly if you're not here for that I dont know why you're here at all), but in some sense that tells me that Ohnn has a low self-image outside of his identity as a scientist. This would align with what we've actually seen of his character design in concept art, in the way he is quickly angered by being not taken seriously, and even I think in the language people use to describe him in the fandom. People say he looks like slenderman, his proportions are "unnatural," that they help sell the simultaneously comical and horrifying nature of his character design. And while obviously he is a character and this is all intentional (I am not by any means trying to shame anyone for saying these things), I do think that is a tell that if he were a real person, he would perhaps face some bullying and ostracization for his appearance, long before the accident that turned him into an actual unnatural entity.

This is, once again not to say the guy is justified in how he acts in any capacity. But I CAN see that as a driving factor in why he would strongly embrace his identity as a scientist, particularly amongst alchemax scientists, who notably include a lot of weird and freaky people. A bunch of criminals doing dubious experiments generally dont care what you look like, as long as you are doing the job they are paying you for. At least, up until the point that you become more useful as a subject then a scientist.

Now, layer trans headcanons on top of that. In that case not only is Ohnn's identity and self esteem wrapped up in his job, his body as it was right before the accident would have been something that he had to work hard to gain. Most likely, his high-level and high-paying position would be a massive boon to the costs of hormones and surgery, and on top of that he'd be in a space that seems willing enough to recognize him for his scientific achievements, rather than his gender or appearance.

And then the accident happens.

I don't think I'd have to emphasize how demoralizing it would be to finally get to a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin, only to have it ripped away from you. Even if you don't take a trans read, it is clear that Ohnn is incredibly angered and hurt by the loss of his body. On top of that, there's something... distinctly transgender to me about the feeling of your body as foreign, and of others around you reacting in disgust and horror, and perhaps in the case of alchemax scientists, even a dehumanizing fascination.

I think Ohnn's ousting from alchemax can easily be read in parallel to Miles (and eventually, Gwen) being outcast from spider society. Here is supposed to be likeminded people. Consciously or not, validation and acceptance is sought, and a strong sense of identity is formed by being part of this group. But this group is not all-loving or accepting. In reality, it is high control, with the people at the top deciding, based on factors that are often more emotion than logic, whether you belong or don't belong, whether you are one of them or an anomaly.

And well, I hate to say it but, isn't that just what it's like to be trans, searching for someplace to "belong" in the queer community? I feel like it can be common for us to fall into lots of harmful and controlling sub-communities, because they offer acceptance at first blush, but later it turns out they're nitpicky about what pronouns you use, or how gnc you can be, or what sexuality you identify with, or even they just hold a lot of ingrained transphobia that they refuse to address. And your options are either to recognize it for what it is, choose to value yourself and others, and leave, or.... desperately try to appease the group by turning their abuse onto other queer people, judge them, attempt to control them, and blame their refusal to comply as the source of your pain.

...Maybe I'm applying the metaphor too liberally here, but whatever. It's my analysis and I'll transexualize it if I want to.

part of me feels like if i start talking about how i think trans spot hc's genuinely give more depth 2 his character ppl won't get it and think im trying to make him out to be more of a poor victim baby uwu than he is (he's absolutely a piece of shit) but on the other hand. I'm right about everything

[thebreakfastgenie]

Re your anons: This is purely anecdotal so feel free to dismiss it if you want but my parents (who aren't queer but had a lot of queer friends through their political leanings and activism all through the 70s) when asked, say they and their friends thought Mike Farrell was possibly queer not just because he was involved in queer politics etc but because of his turn as BJ. The moustache I think plays into it more than the clothes for them but in their words "the way he dressed on TV helped". Anyway I agree I dont think it was on purpose (although I don't think anyone was claiming that he was) but there is a difference between queer fans seeing queer coding in a character and any kind of... profiling. Its fine if you don't see it, but it's there for a LOT of people

I would prefer something more direct, just because I think this is interesting, but I know that's almost impossible to find, so I'll take this, lol. My mom watched mash when it aired, but as I've mentioned before, her memory is awful, so I can't ask her about it. Based on how she's reacted to other things, I don't think she would get gay vibes from BJ, but she was also in college when mash ended and didn't really spend a lot of time around openly gay people until grad school.

I agree that there is a difference, and I hope I didn't give the impression that I was equating the two, but I've recently observed a sort of... interest, I guess, in "clocking" both fictional characters and other real queer people as queer, from queer communities online, and I am personally not comfortable with it. I'm not saying it's wrong (although I do think people could stand to be a bit more thoughtful about it, particularly where real people are concerned) but it's something I'm not comfortable with, because it reminds me emotionally of what I experienced homophobes doing. My experiences are not universal, but obviously it's going to affect how I personally approach things. I'm also as a queer fan just not as interested in looking for queer coding as a lot of tumblr fandom is. That's okay, it's one of the many ways I don't quite fit in with fandom culture (I'm really just here because the way I respond to certain media is closer to that than the average casual viewer).

I think if I were watching mash in the 70s when there was less textually queer media available I might have been more interested in looking for queer coding, but it's 2022 so if I want a gay story I just pick one up. My interest in mash is entirely unrelated to queerness anyway; it's a fun bonus and I do choose to interpret Hawkeye as bisexual (which was also not on purpose, though there is some queer subtext early on that I believe is intentional) but I would like mash just as much if it had no queer subtext at all. Although in fandom, if queer subtext doesn't exist it's invented, which is fine but again not to my interests.

If I was hanging out with gay men during the 80s when mustaches were wildly popular I probably would also have said, at least as a joke, that BJ reminded me of them. I think it would kind of like when characters in old media talk about having a gay old time, or say "queer" to mean "strange." Like, I know the cultural context this belongs in is different, but in my context... that can be very fun with period pieces, although I'm personally a bit of a grump who's like "you know they didn't mean that." But I don't believe it's intentional and I'm watching from 2022 when that is no longer a popular gay style or a style especially associated with the gay community. And I'll be honest, my dislike for the more serious interpretations that are popular in fandom make jokes I might otherwise enjoy less fun for me. I try to be independent, but I don't exist in a vacuum.

I know privately speculating about an actor's sexuality was different in an era where basically no one could be out, so I had to check my 2020s instinct to cringe, lol. Mike Farrell kinda fascinates me because he's very comfortable and secure in who he is and that includes being emotionally open and communicative (maybe he did get something good out of that culty program he did) and I think especially in a hypermasculine period, that can read as potentially queer. Mike Farrell was doing all of that and promoting gay rights, Alan Alda was getting called feminine and a wimp and promoting the ERA, and though he was not open at the time, David Ogden Stiers was a gay man. MASH was not a place for traditional gender roles or toxic masculinity and I love them for it.

I'm sure it's there for a significant number of people, but in the scheme of the number of people who watched mash, it's a small fraction. I have tried to be clear that my opinions are my own and I hope I've succeeded at that. As a gay person, I don't see it. There are other gay people who also don't see it. There are gay people that do. We're not a monolith. I really don't like how "gay culture" sometimes morphs into an implication that we all agree on everything or see everything the same way. So I'm glad there are different interpretations. I'm going to keep talking about mine and if I sound contrarian it's only because one interpretation happens to be overwhelmingly popular in this particular community and I want to be heard.

[corysmiles]

Oh ok! Didnt expect such excitement lol. Its not to deep of an idea, but it centers around Phil and Ranboo mostly, but we can absolutely involve the others in the shinanigens in the future. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Heres the set up:

In Phils season 2 hardcore world he throws a trident into the void not knowing loyalty wouldnt save it from that, and in S4 hardcore world he builds a giant trident in endlantis with the lore that what happened was the void warped the trident he threw in and made it giant.

Then in S3 he looses his world really fast because a glitch happens when he goes to the end, where he looses control of his character and is pushed into the void.

Also a lot of the builds in S4 involve giant deities or giant structres along side regular sized things.

Its a "minecraft is real life with respawns and stuff" but when a player makes a "new world" they arent creating it, theyre just getting sent to a random location thats supposed to be uninhabited but on rare occasions they end up in a strange place with signs of previous life beyond the usual.

If a player does "hardcore" world they will either be sent to a new world or spat back out to the hub between worlds if they die and try to respawn

So heres the idea,

Phil does his usual hardcore world stuff, he stays in touch with his friends with communicators, texting and voice calls and stuff. He can leave and visit them, but he often gets really focused in hardcore worlds and spends extended amounts of time in them.

When he throws his trident into the void he doesnt think anything of it when it doesnt return. He just thinks its gone forever. But when he falls into the void in his next world, he "dies" and respawns, but instead of being given the choice to go to the hub or a new world the void isnt gonna let him go so simply. He feels it effect him to his very core, unaware how long hes falling for, before it spits him back out into a new world. He checks himself over and finds nothing different, and he still has access to the hub, so he just treats it as he usually would and goes back to getting set up in the new world.

This world is weird, he keeps stumbling across things that dont belong in a "new" world. Like endlantis, the void cube, etc. The blaze empress and the skeleton of the ender king are bigger then any creature hes ever seen but the blaze empress's guards are him sized so he doesnt think anything of it. But they arent the only thing that are weird, he tells the others like Techno and Will about how strange everything else here is. Some plant life is normal, but a lot is as giant as the deities to. And theres also just random giant structures that normally would be him sized are the exact same level of giant. He even found the trident he thought was lost forever in endlantis, but now its HUGE! The void must have done that to it. Luckily the void didnt do anything to him, other then kill and force him to respawn here.

But then after a couple of months Techno asks him to come visit, he wants to catch up in person. So Phil prepares to leave to the hub where his piglin friend will he waiting for him. And when whats outside his world waiting for him?

A gigantic hub.

Phil freaks out, all those things in his world werent big, he was tiny!! The void did change him after all! After barley managing to catch a giant Technos attention and he helps Phil calm down, they realize that the void must have done that to the rest of the things in Phils hardcore world that didnt line up in size. Phil was just the first player to fall into that world. They end up going back to Phils world to try and figure out how to fix him, but Techno remains his full size and cant hope to fit into Phils tiny base. So he heads back to try and find awnsers elsewhere, and Phils just kinda stuck tiny now.

But I did say Ranboo was involved didnt I? >:)

Phil tries to go back to normal life after failing to find awnsers on his own, but he cant stop looking at the world with new eyes. These aren't giant, hes tiny. Him, that tree, that cow, all small enough to sit in Technos hand. When Wilbur and Tommy hear about this they try and visit but encounter the same problem of being too big for any of Phils spaces and usually go home before long. Phil meanwhile starts searching Endlantis for any possible answers. The End is the place closest to the void, it should help him, right?

And after venturing deeper into endlantis farther then hes ever gone, he meets a giant ender creature. No like, actually giant. This ones big enough that hed be able to pick a regular human child up like a teddy bear, Phils only the size of his pinky. Hes scared of him at first but it turns out hes actually friendly! His name is Ranboo, he wears a crown, and is a prince. The son of the late Ender King and this destroyed kingdom. His father was evil so he doesnt really feel loss that hes dead, but he has been lonely ever since he hid deep enough into the end that the water wouldnt reach him. Phil promises to come back to visit him, quickly growing fond of the young giant prince.

After visiting enough times Ranboo asks if he can come back with Phil. He doesnt like it in the deep corners of the end, its too lonely. Phil tries to explain to him that his base will be far too small. But Ranboo assures him that will be fine. And then right in front of his eyes, Ranboo shrinks down to Phils size.

Ranboo explains he prefers his full height, but has been able to size shift for as long as he can remember. Phil comes to the conclusion this must be because as the prince of the realm, hes closely enough tied to the void that he can control its effects on him. But he cant do it for other things. So he agrees to help Phil try and learn out how control the voids powers to so he can get back to his regular size to.

-❤ anon

Oh yes!! This au idea is so cool :0

I love the idea of Ranboo just going around with Phil to figure out how to fix his size. And also it would be pretty useful for Phil to have a giant friend who can get into all the huge buildings that spawned around the world (and get the trident)

Question though, would Ranboo be able to visit the hub with Phil? Or is he stuck in this specific world because he was born there???

(Also any name ideas for this new au?) :] 💙

[1kook]

late fee

jeon jeongguk x (f) reader

summary: “Captain Underpants isn’t glorified by all the tryhards, so when I pick those books, you’re unknowingly more interested in me.” tags: f2l, flirty kook, jk’s obsession w/captain underpants, he’s a fuckboy but he’s a soft fuckboy dont get it twisted, campus boy crush jk(yes again), jk abuses the FuCK out of pet names, miss koo1aid actually writes some PLOT warnings: much flirting, nsfw bc of a lot of heavy petting, pussy eatin’, a lil dirty talk, very s l i g h t coochie sniffing, BUT!!! protected sex :) wc: 10.3k

i wrote another fic (applause) and the entire thing is based off my belief that jungkook 10000% would enjoy captain underpants books. not proofread bc i am a hermit and speak to exactly 0 ppl on here, que dios los bendiga

“Helloooo, sexy librarian,” Jeongguk says the moment he steps through the door, lopsided grin adorning his features as he swaggers over to obnoxiously lean against your desk. You can’t even pretend you didn’t see him, his presence so blaringly consuming, and evident in the way some dorky high schoolers glance over to gawk at him.

“What book are you checking out today, Jeon?” You muse instead, leaving your desk chair to head over to the stack of new books that needed to be stamped. As you turn, Jeongguk whistles at the sight, and you don’t even have it in you anymore to retort back the same way you would when he first started bugging you. “Also, are you aware that your copy of Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants is due tomorrow? It’s a dollar for every day it’s late—”

“You needn’t worry longer, baby,” Jeongguk interrupts, and the loud smack of a hardcover against the desk catches your attention. There lies Jeongguk’s Captain Underpants book, alongside the paperback copy of Beloved that has definitely seen better days.

You furrow your brows. “When did you check out this one?” You question, checking the spine to make sure the book belongs to your library. Much to your surprise, there’s no barcode on the side, and no stamp on the inside.

Your question goes unanswered as Jeongguk jumps into a full-length novella recapture of the hot frat party he’d been to last weekend, and how the Zeta Theta Psi guys knew how to party. That Jimin fellow that Jeongguk frequently mentions had apparently snorted a line of coke off their friend Seokjin’s broad shoulders just to prove his friend had godly proportions. It’s weird, but Jeongguk says it’s because you have to ride for your bros. You try to act uninterested, but Jeongguk’s a funny guy, really, and you can only hide so many chuckles with the sound of a stamp.

He’s in the middle of trying to cover up of one of his frequent trysts after accidentally exposing himself—”Don’t get it twisted, baby, I just took her upstairs to call her friend.”—when Namjoon comes out of the back room looking for you. He barely glances at your guest, before handing you a list of overdue books.

“Would you mind calling these people?” He asks, voice soft, just as everything else was about Namjoon. “They’re all a week past.”

“Yikes,” you say, eyes scanning over the list. Surprisingly, Jeongguk is still there, hovering over you as if waiting for you to dismiss him. “Do you mind, Jeon?” You say, channeling your best customer service voice. As much as Namjoon was wary of him, he still considered Jeongguk a patron in your establishment and hated to see him treated poorly, no matter how many library rules Jeongguk broke.

“Of course,” he sighs, and you miss the hostile glare he throws Namjoon when you whirl around for a highlighter. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart,” he says when you turn back around, stretching ana rm in your direction.

Half of you knows exactly what he’ll do, but the other half of you, the one trying desperately to act like his advances have no effect on you, have you placing your palm in his. You’re not super surprised when he tugs your hand upward, pecking your knuckles with a flirty wink. “Adios, Juliet,” he smirks.

“Wrong language,” you inform him, rolling your eyes nonchalantly even though your heart is beating one hundred miles per second. Jeongguk cackles, loud as all hell in the silent library, before making his exit.

It’s silent for all of twenty seconds before Namjoon jumps right into it. “So are you seeing him, or…” he interrogates, trying to act like he’s hardly interested, but you’ve known and worked alongside Namjoon long enough to know he’s secretly the community gossip.

You ignore him, choosing to jam the buttons on the phone instead.

The weird thing about Jeongguk, was that, although he was notoriously known amongst the undergraduates (and even some graduates, because he just had it like that, you suppose) as one of the biggest fuckboys, he was different. Not to sound like every teen romcom you’d ever scanned, but he genuinely was. For starters, he’d fuck your brains out and then make you his best friend the morning after. He definitely had a very peculiar, and backwards, way of doing the whole one night stand thing.

All this you’ve gathered from your friends, who, at one point have had some sort of encounter with Jeongguk. Dahyun’s was last spring at a club event, when he’d oh so smoothly flirted with her for a solid hour before realizing she didn’t swing that way. Which is how they become close friends, which is how, by association, Jeongguk set his sights on you.

Your introduction to Jeongguk wasn’t anything out of the ordinary; he’d been tagging along behind Dahyun like a lost puppy, begging her for some class notes, and had subsequently followed her all the way to your favorite meeting place. From then, he’d dropped his petulant, childish act and put on his macho face, chest puffed and eyes hooded as he devoured your very presence.

The next time you see him, it’s at a frat party where some guy had been harping on you go upstairs with him. Another weird thing about Jeongguk, he hated when other fuckboys didn’t utilize their brains. You assume it’s because it gives the fuckboy community a bad rep as a whole, but Jeongguk hated when guys were overbearing. So he’d taken the initiative to snatch you away from that fellow, guiding you all the way back to Dahyun and friends just to make sure you were alright. Somewhere along the way, you’d informed him you worked at the local library—”The one that does bingo on Tuesdays?” “That’s for senior citizens only, why do you know that?”—and he’d never left you alone again.

This time, he spots you in the dining hall.

“You come here often, dollface?” He says the moment he slides up beside you, instantly zeroing in on the burrito wrap on your plate. Like the little immature baby he is, his hand immediately snakes out to touch the precariously wrapped white tortilla holding the deliciousness inside, and you have to physically slap the offender away. He jumps, bumping into a girl standing in line behind him, not that particularly cares. “So, it’s fuck Jeongguk hours, huh?” He huffs, adorning his face with that uppity glare he mastered from watching Mean Girls on repeat a few months ago.

“Your plate is stacked, but you wanna grab the one thing on mine,” you point out, and his lips curl into a smile at your response. “By the way, your book is past due.”

At this he gasps, all real, no Regina George effects added. “You’re lying,” he chokes, switching his plate to his other hand, and you nearly jump when the muffin balancing dangerously on top shifts. He tugs his phone out of the pocket of his sweats, scanning through his remind app until he sees that his book is overdue by three days. He groans, staring at the ceiling in shame.

You nod, breezing over his inner meltdown. “Was wondering when we were gonna get the wedgie winner, or whatever its called, back.”

He scoffs, giving you an unimpressed glare. “Wrath of the Wicked Wedgie Woman,” he corrects, looking so disappointed that you don’t have these bizarre titles memorized. “For such a pretty librarian, you sure are ignorant to these literary masterpieces.”

This makes you cackle, and your cheeks flush when at least three people turn to stare at your outburst. “You aren’t seriously calling these Captain Underpants books masterpieces,” you snort. Jeongguk shrugs, and you begin to wonder if he really is as airheaded as the characters he admires. “Jeon,” you try to reason, giving him a pleading look, because arguing the credibility of kids novels in line for lunch simply does not seem real. You must have been warped into another dimension where all pretty boys are as dumb as the movies make them out to seem.

“Listen,” he says, smiling when you grow desperate for him to prove you wrong. “I’ve read a lot of good books, but nothing tops a hypnotized superhero principal fighting crime in his underwear.”

You sigh, paying for your meal, and then, surprisingly, waiting for him to pay for his. You tell yourself it’s because you want to finish this conversation, but part of you just genuinely enjoys being in Jeongguk’s presence. Gag.

“I saw you with Beloved last week,” you carry on the second he’s done giving flirty eyes to the middle-aged cashier. “Now that’s a masterpiece.”

He nods in agreement. “But, baby,” he purrs, and the sudden switch from weird, 12 year-old literary enthusiast to grown as hell, suave bastard has you jolting a step that you try to play off by pretending to look at something on the ground. “How else will you remember my face?”

You blank. “What the hell are you talking about.”

Jeongguk gives you a pointed look. “Sweetheart, you wouldn’t remember a damn thing about me if I did what every other stuck-up bastard did trying to pick up chicks at the library.” You tilt your head in confusion. Jeongguk sighs. “If I went in every rainy Friday and checked out a Tale of Two Cities, or Oliver Twist, or some other Charles Dickens shit, you wouldn’t glance my way.”

“Do people still read Dickens?” You say instead, glossing over the fact that apparently Jeongguk’s visits were apparently blatant attempts to flirt with girls. Finally, you find a suitable spot at a long, dinner table so you don’t have to sit completely alone with Jeongguk.

“You know damn well better than I do that that those wannabe sophisticated books have waitlists.” He shoves half a pizza slice into his mouth, and you hate how your eyes immediately laser in on the strong movements of his jaw. “My point is,” he says through a greasy mouthful. “Captain Underpants isn’t glorified by all the tryhards, so when I pick those books, you’re unknowingly more interested in me.”

You cradle your burrito in your palms, rolling his words around your head for a bit. Jeongguk doesn’t particularly seem like he’s awaiting an answer, munching through the mountain of food on his plate as you revel in your thoughts.

It’s right when you go to take your first bite that you finally come to a conclusion. “But have you ever considered I’m interested in you because I think you’re funny?”

Silence. Jeongguk stares at you through his fringe, pizza slice slowly going limp in his hold as he absorbs your words. Before you know it, his ears flush red. He splutters. “I-You think I’m funny?” He asks, cheeks slowly growing rosy as well, and his lips quirk in a cute way to the side, as if he’s trying desperately to hide his excitement.

You nod, because it’s true, why would you lie? “Duh. You come in every week and just talk about your day, Jeongguk,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “I think you’re very interesting and entertaining without trying.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, and for the first time, you’re thrown off by how adorable this man looks, lips pressed tight to contain a smile from your compliments.

Realization hits you all at once, but you’ve long since trained in the fluid art of avoiding your emotions.

“There’s a party tonight,” Dahyun announces from her desk, not even bothering to glance at you when you return from the showers. You hum, not really that interested in whatever is going on this fine Thursday evening. You plop down at your own desk, starting your skincare routine.

Dahyun lets you relax in the soothing motions of self care for all of three seconds before she adds, “Jeongguk wanted to know if you’re coming.”

You press down too hard on the pump of your moisturizer, sending a large glomp onto the tips of your fingers. “That’s nice,” you say, trying to play it off, but you doubt Dahyun hadn’t heard the little spaz you had, or that she couldn’t sense the way your body immediately lit aflame at the mention of him and you in the same sentence.

She turns in her seat, and you catch sight of her in your mirror. You avert your eyes right away, because Dahyun had many talents, and her best one was reading your mind with a single gaze. You maintain an aura of unbothered and uninterested, finishing with the rest of your skincare.

Just when you think you’re safe, Dahyun pounces.

“Y’know,” she says, and you can hear the grin in her voice. “He hasn’t slept with anyone in almost a month. In fuckboy time, that’s the equivalent of two years.”

You roll your eyes, putting away your products before trying to busy yourself with anything else. “He probably has, but with people who know how to keep their mouths shut.”

Faintly, you hear Dahyun’s chair scrape against the carpet, and then suddenly she has you in a headlock. “Admit you like Jeongguk or I will throw your toothbrush into the toilet on the third floor.”

You choke, grappling her arms in an attempt to pry her off. “No,” you huff, switching tactics to tangle a hand in her silver locks. “Why would I confess to something that isn’t true?”

She shrieks when you give a sharp tug, sending her careening sideways against the foot of your bed, but not without taking you with her. “You are lying to yourself and to the entire librarian community, you sick fuck.”

You snort. “The fuck does Namjoon have to do with this?”

“He told me Jeongguk’s been bringing you Starbucks.”

Her reveal has you halting in your tracks, cheeks flushing at being exposed. “That gossiping fuck,” you seethe, finally loosening your grip on your friend. Somehow, you’ve ended up sprawled on the floor of her side of the room, nestled into the stupidly fluffy carpet she thrifted. She rolls onto her belly, propping herself up on her elbows to narrow her eyes at you.

“So it’s true,” she sighs. You shrug. “Well,” she claps her hands together. “Shimmy into that sexy dress from Windsor, we’re going out.”

You groan, rolling over in metaphorical agony. “Dude, I just washed my face. No way in hell, I’m putting on makeup now.” She considers your point for negative three seconds.

“The Glow Kit is in my bottom left drawer,” she announces right as she exits the room with her towel and shower essentials in hand.

The Glow Kit is in fact in Dahyun’s drawer, which is a little suspicious considering it’s the same one you thought you lost three months ago. Nonetheless, it never lets you down, and by the time you’re done with your makeup, you’re looking like a shimmering, little succubus in the hot dress from Windsor.

Normally, you and your self-esteem were rivals; never on the same page, always bickering, sworn enemies from birth. But right now, as you admire yourself in the closet mirror, you can’t help but marvel at how good you look in the slightly loose dress.

“Damn,” Dahyun says as soon as she returns, all fluffy in her towel. “You will fuck tonight, or else.”

“Hey, baby,” Jeongguk smiles at you the moment you walk in, hooded eyes raking over your body in an agonizingly slow manner. Dahyun chooses then to do her party trick—disappearing without a word.

“Hi…” you respond, voice meek in this party setting. There’s more people than you anticipated, which is weird because it’s a Thursday and surely some of these people have morning classes. You can’t comment, though, because you’re here knowing damn well you have an eight am tomorrow.

The music is blasting, so loud you can feel the bass shaking the floor, sending jolts up from your toes to your head with every beat. There’s people in every crevice of this household, some even taking refuge on the staircase leading up to the bedrooms. Someone brushes by you, and you instinctively step closer to the wall to avoid being in the way. You should have known Jeongguk would follow.

He ducks down to shout into your ear. “Wasn’t sure if you were coming tonight,” he tells you, right as one of his friends rushes by, thrusting a cup into his hand that Jeongguk doesn’t even stop to question. He takes a sip, then offers you some.

“Dahyun didn’t wanna come alone,” you lie, tentatively sipping from his cup only to realize it’s worse than any alcohol here: it’s Sprite. Jeongguk seems amused by your subtle disgust, immediately taking the cup back. You send out a light prayer for his stomach and his skin. “Aren’t you supposed to be out pulling hoes or something?” You say, trying to go for teasing and playful but missing by a mile.

Jeongguk grins. “Why would I do that when the only girl I want is right here,” he motions, and then does that cliche move where he places a hand by the wall behind you. The worst thing is, even though Jeongguk seems intent on pulling every cheesy act known to mankind, your heart actually races.

“Shut up,” you laugh, “you just like that I don’t charge you the late fees on your books.”

At this, Jeongguk genuinely smiles, nose scrunching up as he gazes at you. “False,” he argues, and then leans forward, same stupid dopey smile on his face. “I love a woman who snorts milk out of her nose.”

“Jeon!” You shriek, smacking his arm as embarrassment washes over you. “You said you would forget about that!”

Jeongguk cackles, all boyish and rough like he does when he’s around Hoseok for too long. Somehow, knowing you’re the cause of that charming laughter has your annoyance fading away, a soft smile crawling onto your features.

“I hate you,” you say instead, looking up and meeting his gaze dead on for the first time that night.

Jeongguk smirks. “Do you now?” He throws back, then takes a step forward. Your shoulder touches the wall when you take a tentative step back. You give a half-assed shrug, entranced by the playfulness that lurks behind his eyes. He gives you an exaggerated pout. “That sucks, because I,” he steps closer again, and this time he’s looking down at you over the bridge of his nose, “really like you.”

“I…” you trail off, too hypnotized by the pink tongue that swipes across his lips as he gazes at you. There is no hesitation on his face.

When you don’t say anything for another moment, Jeongguk ducks down. His nose bumps against yours, his breath warm as it fans across your face. “Y’know, I’d treat you so right,” he suddenly says, and your panties immediately turn into Niagara Falls at the newfound deepness of his voice. You feel lightheaded from his close proximity and promising words. “Could make you feel so good, baby, if you just let me.”

You shiver, nearly jumping out of your skin when a hand snakes its way around your waist, tugging you forward gently. Not overbearingly, because you know the last thing Jeongguk would ever do was want to make you uncomfortable. He pulls you close enough that it ends up being you who steps completely into his embrace. Your trembling hands find their place on his shoulders, and Jeongguk has never looked more content.

“You... only want sex,” you softly accuse, and the only reason your quiet voice doesn’t get lost in the noise is because of how close the two of you are.

Jeongguk bites his lip at your words, and you wonder if part of him is surprised that you’d so openly say such a thing. “Not with you,” he says eventually. “Wanna hold you like this forever, ___. And if that leads to you cumming on my tongue every now and then, well,” he smiles, “all fine by me.”

“Jeon,” you scold, scared that someone might have heard him.

“What?” He grins, pressing impossibly closer. His lip gives the slightest pucker, and you find yourself unconsciously leaning closer, the hand around your waist tightening. “I want you, baby.”

You can’t hide the lovestruck expression on your face as you look between his mouth and his eyes, and you wonder if he’s being honest.

Right as you’re about to throw all your doubts out the window and kiss him, you’re bombarded with the sound of obnoxious air horns from a DJ who obviously knows shit about, well, DJ-ing.

You jump at the sudden sound, bumping your head against the wall behind you. Jeongguk’s eyes widen. “Oh shit, are you okay?” He fusses, all traces of that suave, heartthrob replaced with a fretful Jeon.

“I’m fine,” you say, though you’re not because you’re absolutely dying right now. From the fact you almost gave into Jeongguk but also the embarrassment of hitting your head. “I-I need to find Dahyun,” you announce, and give Jeongguk no time to process that before you’re bolting into the crowded house like you just broke something.

jeon tell me you got home safe jeon please

You pause in the middle of removing your makeup, one eyelash on to symbolize the mess you are right now. Dahyun is humming some tune as she does the same, the both of you clad in your pajamas and fuzzy socks. Carefully, you pick up your phone.

you im home! me and the girls ubered home lol you sorry i didnt get to say goodbye :(

jeon dont worry abt it babe jeon just happy to know ur ok

“You better be texting Jeongguk, since you failed to complete the one job you had tonight,” Dahyun calls and you curse. You whirl around to face her, and she snorts at your one eyelash.

“Be honest,” you say. “If you were the campus crush who could get coochie every time he breathed, would you leave all that for me?”

Dahyun freezes. “Well, not when you’re only wearing one eyelash.” You groan, flopping into your seat uncomfortably. “Babe,” Dahyun sighs, as if sensing the gravity of your dilemma. “You’re hot! Everyone knows this except you.”

“But am I?” You whine. “Am I attractive or do you just feel obligated to say that because you’re my friend, be honest.”

“Oh my god,” she huffs, climbing into her bed, phone in hand. She doesn’t even bother looking your way when she’s all settled in. “You have this weird idea that Jeongguk is some intangible idol, as if you haven’t seen the dude deepthroat an entire bratwurst at the diversity fair. If anything, you’re the dream girl on campus, you stupid bitch.”

“The only true thing I heard is me being a stupid bitch,” you mope, and Dahyun throws a pillow at your face. You take this attack as initiative to finally take off your other lash, finishing your cleansing and moisturizing (for the second time) routine.

“Listen,” she says, setting her phone down to stare you dead in the eye. Her voice is devoid of any emotion. “If it makes you feel better, he wrote JK + __ on our group handout last week.”

You don’t sleep that night.

The last person you’re expecting to see at this secluded cafe on a Saturday morning was Jeon Jeongguk, yet here he was in all his delicious morning glory. By morning glory, you mean the soft, sleepy eyes that stare at you from across the table, voice so deep and husky.

“Why are you here if you just woke up?” You interrogate, settling into the empty seat in front of him. Carefully, you begin pulling things out of your bag, trying your best to not look away too long. This sight was rare, Jeongguk usually being at an energy level of about eighty seven at all times. To see him so tired and sluggish was unheard of.

He gestures over to where Taehyung is in the middle of what looks like a job interview. “Moral support,” Jeongguk informs you. You nod in understanding, before returning your gaze to the sleepy angel in front of you.

He’s ridiculously tired, eyes dropping shut every time you so much as pause for a second. He seems apologetic too, murmuring I’m sorry I’m sorry whenever his eyes flutter shut. Your heart was going haywire at the sight. “Jeon,” you say softly, and get one, soft hum in response. “I think you should go home, Taehyung seems fine.”

He shakes his head. “Needs me,” he murmurs, trying desperately to snap his eyes back open to no avail. Eventually, you make the call, packing your things up way earlier than usual. You haul Jeongguk out of his seat, him sleepily trailing after you as you drag him out of the shop. He sleeps on the short bus ride back to campus, and even almost sleeps on the elevator up to his dorm.

“In we go,” you announce, unlocking his door before nudging him inside. His roommate is nowhere to be found, oddly enough given the early hour. Jeongguk stumbles inside, plopping down on his bed right away. “Sleep.”

He lets out a high pitched whine the moment you turn to leave. “Come cuddle,” he huffs, face pressed against his pillow. His hair’s haloed around him, pout smushed against the cushion as he stares at you.

“You need to sleep,” you point out.

He rolls onto his back, patting the mattress beside him. “Wanna feel you,” he says. Your cheeks flush red. As if realizing the meaning behind his words, sleepy little Jeongguk takes the initiative to push you further. “Pressed against my body,” he drawls, his deep chuckle resonating throughout your body. “C’mon, baby, too scared to be in bed with me?”

You scoff, though your cheeks are warm. “You wouldn’t do anything anyway, you’re half asleep.”

Jeongguk shrugs, lips quirking to the side as he motions to his side again. “So? Can tell you like it slow anyway,” he grunts, before sitting up and shuffling to the edge of the bed and assuming a sitting position. Without warning, he catches your wrist in his hand and tugs you between his spread thighs.

He’s more awake than he’s been all morning, and part of you is happy but the other is anxious. God, was this boy dangerous.

“You’re half asleep, Jeon,” you say, trying to diffuse the sudden sexual tension. Jeongguk smiles up at you.

“Cmon, baby,” he exhales, and one fluid tug has you plopping onto his thigh. You startle at the sudden change, grabbing onto his shoulders for support. All he does is laugh some more, nuzzling his face against your neck as your heart goes into panic mode. “Bet I could get in so deep,” he murmurs, breath tickling your neck and you feel your legs turn to jelly.

“G-Gguk,” you try to warn, but it ends up sounding more like a plea. For what, you’re not entirely sure.

A sudden kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder has your spirit ascending into another plane. Jeongguk smiles at your pliant body. “Look at you,” he continues, kissing down your neck until your body is physically quivering. “So sensitive. No one ever touched you like this before, doll?”

You shake your head no, and nearly jump out of your own skin when a hand clasps onto the inside of your thigh. “Jeon, we shouldn’t…” you choke out, even though your traitorous hand clamps down on his and pushes it closer to where you need him most.

“We shouldn’t?” He teases, and then cups your sex.

You transcend.

Jeongguk laughs, airy chuckles fanning across your jaw. “Then stop,” he tells you, the both of you watching as your hips unconsciously grind into his palm. Even when you tell yourself you need to stop, your body feels heavenly being touched by him, so you physically can’t.

“I can’t,” you reiterate, and muffle a moan against the side of his face when he presses a finger down on where he knows your clit is hiding. The thin leggings you’d worn did nothing to spare you.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he sighs, watching you work yourself on his hand. He traces his index finger over the seam of your leggings, where your folds meet and you moan again. “You gonna let me finish you off, princess? Gonna let me finger your tight little pussy until you cry? But I bet you’d make the prettiest noises if I licked you down there. Or are you gonna cum in your panties like this?”

All the different ideas he stuffs into your brain are overwhelming, especially when the only thing you really want is to be stuffed with his fingers and cock. “J-Just do it,” you beg.

“Do what?” He plays, watching the way your face contorted with every brush against your mound.

“Whatever you want,” you cry, biting down on your fist to stop any more noises from spilling out.

Jeongguk smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Such a simple gesture, but it has your stomach somersaulting. God, you needed this. You were practically sobbing for his dick, which was embarrassing in itself, but actually getting dicked down sort of cancelled it out. PEMDAS or whatever. 

Just as his hand creeps to the hem of your leggings, there’s a rattle of the doorknob, and you jump. The cloud of lust that had engulfed you two fades away and you’re suddenly aware of the jingling of a key outside.

“What the fuck,” Jeongguk whisper-shouts, looking absolutely scandalized that his roommate is coming home at this moment of all moments.

“Should I hide?” You whisper back, never having been in such a situation before. Jeongguk looks at you like you’re stupid.

“Just,” he sighs, standing up. He ruffles his hair anxiously. “Just… act natural.”

You sit perfectly still. “Not like a Sim!!”

“Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds),” you read, gasping for breath by the end of it. Jeongguk beams at you. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Nope,” Jeongguk says, leaning over the counter and watching as you scan his book under his name. “I’ll let you know how it is.”

You roll your eyes, writing down the return date on a piece of paper you stuff inside. “Please do, I’m absolutely dying to read this book.”

You hand the book over to Jeongguk, and try to ignore the way he stares at you for a second too long. Namjoon chooses this exact moment to take his lunch break, sauntering off whistling the the Angry Birds tune.

Right before Jeongguk can jump into an interrogation, the door swings open and Jisoo from your sociology elective saunters in, carrying the same mountain of books you had checked out for her two weeks ago.

“___, hi!” She exclaims right away. She, too, was infected with the same bimbo disease as Jeongguk, the one where they both had no concept of being quiet in a library.

“Hi,” you greet back, immediately standing to take the books from her. “Did you actually read through all of these?” You ask, trying to make polite small talk. You’re not particularly close to her, but it’d be rude to act like you didn’t know her.

She laughs at your comment. “Oh god, no. I just open random pages and reference them for essays,” she admits.

You try to make more small talk with her as you scan through her books, but the girl literally almost hit the material limit, which is fifty books, so you soon become consumed in scanning the barcode, briefly flipping through the book for any damage, and then repeating it all over. You’re not surprised when she drifts away, and you’re mentally cursing Namjoon for going on break now of all times.

It’s about ten minutes later when you’re all done, the computer’s library system going haywire on you, the same way it had when she first checked out all these books. You look away from the screen, standing to face Jisoo, only to find she’s drifted to the other end of the welcome desk, where a certain someone had gone to while you served her.

Oh.

You’re not anticipating the wave of jealousy that hits you watching gorgeous, smart Jisoo talk to Jeongguk. She matches him perfectly, both so beautiful it hurts. It’s when she says something to him that you snap out of it. “When can I come over again?” Soft enough that you wouldn’t have heard if you hadn’t been paying attention.

Jeongguk’s toying with a bookmark stand, but you still see the quirk of his lips on his face when she says that.

All you can do is watch from the sidelines, so close yet somehow miles away as he says something back to her that gets drowned out by the thundering of your heart. You suppose it’s only natural for a guy like Jeongguk to flirt with girls, and he’d never said he only, exclusively wanted you. Really, you shouldn’t be as surprised.

But you are.

You’re surprised and, dare you say it, discouraged by the scene. He’d been so eager to finally win you over the other night, so much so that he made you feel special with every word he uttered and every look he gave you. You’d almost believed in his sincerity, but seeing him so easily converse with Jisoo about whatever past they have, served as a cold reminder that you and Jeongguk believe in two completely different relationship styles.

So you sit back down, gnawing on your lip as you try to do other duties, clicking around uselessly on your computer until eventually, Jisoo wanders back.

“Am I all set?” She smiles, and you can’t even find it in you to dislike her. You plaster on your best customer service smile, nodding and handing her back her library card. She thanks you three times over for the hassle, before waving goodbye to you and Jeongguk.

When the door falls shut behind her, you immediately drop the facade, though Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice. “Whew. She left a lot of work for you,” he laughs, eyeing the big stack beside you. You don’t even bother responding, as, at that moment, Namjoon returns from his lunch break.

(How convenient! You swear this fucker had a sixth sense for knowing when work was about to become hard.)

“Joon, I’m taking my break now,” you announce, and Namjoon stares at you like a deer in headlights, the last bite of a sandwich raised to his mouth.

“Uh,” he says, 140 IQ and all. He glances behind you at Jeongguk, who also is confused as all hell. “Okay, then.”

“___?” Jeongguk questions. You stalk off, pushing the gate away from the desk before bursting into the employee break room right across from it.

You cry the moment you get home, and Dahyun jumps ten feet out of her bed in shock. Her girlfriend, Momo, is sitting on the floor painting her toes. “Oh no,” she cries, sweet and understanding in all the ways Dahyun wasn’t. “My poor baby, what’s wrong?” She asks, waddling over in the my-nail-polish-hasn’t-dried-yet way to hug you.

“He was flirting with another girl,” you sob, dropping your bag by the door as Momo continues fawning over you, wiping your face with tissues. Dahyun gets out of bed, cracks her fingers, and promptly announces:

“I’m gonna kill him.”

Initially, you would have let her. But after a while you manage to calm down, loud Kim Kardashian sobs fading into tiny hiccups as the two of them coddle you. You tell them all about what terrible, good for nothing Jeongguk did, and in true female solidarity, they vow to kick his ass for you. Eventually, you settle on not whooping his ass, just cutting any romantic notions with him off to avoid further heartbreak. After all, you were kinda friends before you had your little crush revelation.

It’s later in the night when you announce you maybe got 2% over him, which the girls count as an absolute win, but then Jeongguk texts you and they groan at the way you jump for your phone.

jeon hey can we talk ? jeon did I do something wrong today? jeon felt like u were mad at me lol, and then u took a really long break and I had to leave for class so I didn’t even get to see u again jeon just wanna know if everything is ok

You read through the messages a couple times, and wonder if he’s being serious and didn’t see anything sus with his actions, or if he’s just toying with your emotions. Momo tugs Dahyun away to give you some sort of privacy, and then you’re left alone in your thoughts.

you everything’s fine ! you I just wasn’t feeling well lol

He responds right away.

jeon please don’t lie to me ___ jeon I know what you’re probably thinking and I just want to say it’s not like that

For some reason, him saying he knows you enough to know your thoughts irritates you. He obviously didn’t know shit about you if he was out here making you look like a clown. Your fingers type before you can even think.

you lmao you thats funny

jeon ?

you you most def do not know what I’m thinking so please just take my word when I say I felt sick

jeon lmao. what do you mean...

you you barely know ME besides the fact I work @ the library and dorm w Dahyun. don't say u know what I’m thinking, bc that would imply you know me on a closer level which you don’t

jeon ok seriously what's up with you?  jeon im trying to make sure ur okay but ur just being difficult as fuck

you I’m not being difficult I’m just being real

jeon ur not tho, ur being defensive for no reason at all

you so? we’re barely friends and we barely know each other, how I feel is none of ur business

jeon lmfaoooo, so now we’re barely friends?

you thats what I said didnt I

You set your phone aside when you don’t immediately see the texting dots appear, assuming your dry response is probably enough to ward Jeongguk off. Your face feels warm, and you’re not sure if it’s from frustration or anger, but you guess it’s both. You’re not sure what set you off, the fact Jeongguk wants to act like he knows you, as if he wasn’t just chasing after you for some pussy, or the fact he wanted to act like some all-knowing being when it came to your feelings.

Eitherway, you’re extremely heated, grinding your teeth together when five minutes pass and he hasn’t texted you back. As if sensing the tension, Momo and Dahyun abruptly announce that they’re going to the ice cream place down the street, offering to bring something back to which you decline.

They leave, the heavy door slamming shut behind them. You get exactly two seconds of peace and quiet before your phone starts going off like crazy, all from Jeongguk.

jeon you’re starting to piss me off jeon drop the attitude baby. jeon bc I can be just as mean as u jeon and I won’t hesitate to make you cry

You blink. Every ounce of your body that had been consumed with an unknown anger slowly fades away as you stare wide eyed at Jeongguk’s messages. This was nothing like the Jeongguk you knew; he was soft and playful. He never raised his voice at you, and he’d never been anything less than a sweetheart.

you I don’t have an attitude

Is your feeble reply, too scared to reply to any other part of his message because you truly had no experience with this Jeongguk.

jeon so then put your big girl pants on and tell me what’s wrong jeon enough w this other shit

You sigh, snuggling into your covers as you absentmindedly tap the back of your phone.

you nothing is wrong

He doesn’t reply for a couple minutes again, but Dahyun sends you a text letting you know her and Momo decided to go to an event on the other side of campus, and telling you not to wait up. You reply back a simple ok right as Jeongguk responds.

jeon ok. so let me tell you what’s wrong then jeon you’re mad bc I was speaking to Jisoo today and she asked abt coming over jeon she comes over all the time jeon bc she is my roommates girlfriend

Your mind goes blank.

How embarrassing to have your mind read word for word, even more so when apparently, your worries weren’t even plausible. God. Instantly you feel stupid, replaying today’s entire scene and trying desperately to find something to catch Jeongguk in a lie. But other than asking that one question, there had been no other interesting talk between the two.

Your phone pings again, and you scramble to type a response, only to freeze at the words on the screen

jeon what blows me is that i don’t even owe u shit especially not an explanation jeon u don’t give 2 flying fucks about me. U just like the attention I give u and watching me make a fool of myself for u jeon I bend over backwards chasing after you, trying to get you to notice me, but you’ve done nothing to show me u feel the same jeon but you’re the one allowed to get mad when I speak to other girls? like u said “ that’s funny ”

Oh, no. Immediately your heart comes crashing down, and your fingers tremble as you watch Jeongguk slip away right before your eyes.

you Jeongguk you it’s not like that please you I like you so much, it’s just hard for me to

jeon to what? Get over your stupid stereotype of me?? jeon lmfao. Yeah that must be sooo hard jeon it’s whatever tho bc I had one of u too jeon my dream girl

This is not what you expected when he said he’d make you cry.

“Honey, you just have to talk to him,” Momo says the next morning, pressing a cucumber slice onto your eyes. You flinch at the initial iciness, but then relax when she brushes your hair out of your face. You’d gone to sleep a wreck, crying and sobbing as you thought desperately on how to win Jeongguk back, but everything he had said was true.

You’d done nothing but reject him since the beginning, had only just begun treating him as a friend, yet you instantly placed the blame on him at the first signs of trouble. God, he was right. You’d been selfish this entire time, and now he wasn’t responding to your messages anymore.

Dahyun nods from her cocoon at the foot of your bed. “I’m sure it’ll be easier in person, text convos are always weird,” she tries to comfort you. “But keep those slices on, those bags under your eyes are no joke.”

Momo smacks her calf. “Be nice! She’s going through a crisis.”

Right as you’re about to pay for your meal and sprint back to hide in your dorm, you spot a coconut head of hair facing the windows in the far corner of the dining hall. Fuck. Faintly, you can hear Dahyun’s voice shouting for you to stop being a pussy and go talk to him. You pause by the exit, one leg in one leg out, before saying fuck it. If worse comes to worse, you transfer schools and live with heartbreak and three cats for the rest of your life.

“I-Is someone sitting here?” You say before you can chicken out, and mentally curse yourself for stuttering. Oh, the social horror.

Jeongguk visibly jumps at your voice, wide doe eyes staring at you as if he expected to never see you again. After all, it’s been a week since your little fight, three days since you last tried texting him. He shakes his head, turning his attention back to his plate, but not before tugging the hoodie of his sweater over his head in a classic self defensive tactic.

You slide into the seat, staring at the plate of food like you’ve never seen it in your life, never mind the fact you picked it out less than fifteen minutes ago. You accidentally scrape your fork against the bottom, and the both of you cringe.

Jeongguk clears his throat, hands clasped together between his thighs as he stares out the window. “Don’t you have work?” He asks, voice raspy.

You shake your head. “I took the week off,” you confess, hoping he doesn’t press for more, because then you’d have to tell him your reasoning was due to heartache.

“Oh. That’s nice,” he says, and then you fall into a pit of awkward silence.

You push the food around on your plate, hoping he’ll say something, anything to save the two of you. In the end, he stays silent, sleepily glancing out the windows.

When you look closer, though, Jeongguk doesn’t look much hot than you. He’s got the same bags as you under his eyes, and his hair looks messier than his usual messy style. The fact he’s wearing his blue crocs out in public only confirms your theory.

After a solid five minutes of silence, even your hungry stomach managing to stay quiet, you decide enough is enough.

You shift ever so slightly, until you’re somewhat facing him and clear your throat; Jeongguk barely spares you a glance. “The Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People,” you blurt. Jeongguk blinks, face slowly morphing into one of confusion. Your cheeks feel hot under his gaze, having missed his brown eyes in the past week. “It’s your favorite one,” you announce. “Of the Captain Underpants books.”

After a moment, Jeongguk snorts, turning his attention away from you. “You’re not gonna win me over with that,” he says curtly, and your heart tightens at his emotionless tone of voice.

But you’ve done your research, and you’re not letting it go to waste. “You like George more than Harold because you think he contributes more. You love the characterization of Mr. Krupp the most, but you hate his theme song. You think the cover art could use some work, but you enjoy the overall art style. You hated the movie adaptation because Kevin Hart was in it,” you list, recalling every bit of information you’ve ever heard Jeongguk share about the stupid novels.

There’s a small quirk in the corner of Jeongguk’s lips, but it’s not the one you’re aiming for, so you switch tactics. “You hate the smell of bananas because you don’t think it should have a smell. You can’t put your left sock on first, because it’s bad luck to you. Your mom still washes your sheets for you. You know the lyrics to the original Dragon Ball series in three languages. You like wearing rings because it makes you feel like a pimp. You hate when Hoseok calls you the baby, because, according to you, you bench press his weight times two.”

“And a half,” he softly corrects, gazing at his hands, cheeks slightly tinged with red. You bite your lip, tentatively reaching a hand out to place on his arm. He looks at you right away, doe eyes so vulnerable and scared, like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

“I said we barely knew each other, but that was a lie,” you chuckle humorlessly, suddenly feeling your eyes tear up just remembering the conversation. “I know so much about you because I love listening to you talk. I love hearing your voice, and watching you wrestle with your friends, and fight with Dahyun. But I never tell you,” you bite your lip, blinking your eyes to backtrack the tears.

“And you’re right, I made you do all the work and I’m sorry, but I’m just so scared, Jeongguk,” you admit, voice cracking on his name. Your press a hand over your mouth, trying to collect yourself. Suddenly, a soft hand gently pats your thigh, and you find yourself reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “You can have anyone, Jeongguk, and you obviously know this,” you sigh. “I’m scared that I won’t be enough for you.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jeongguk says, voice soft in the way you’ve missed so much. His hand, shaky and unsure, reaches up to brush a tear from the corner of your eye. “Look at me,” he commands, and you do. “I think we’re both stupid, because I feel like I’ve never been enough for you,” he confesses with a chuckle you try to replicate through sniffles.

Suddenly, he’s close, forehead pressed to yours. “And maybe it’s true,” he says. “You won’t be enough for me, and I’ve never been enough for you.” Your heart aches at his words. “But that’s okay,” he assures, squeezing your thigh between his fingers. “We don't have to be right now, but we can try.”

You nod, clamping down a sob. “God, I hate how optimistic you are,” you laugh, and he smiles, cupping your face in his hands.

“And I hate watching you cry,” he says, fingers wiping your cheeks. Before you can say what you’re thinking, he’s snatching the words right out of you, “yes, I know I said what I said, and I felt like such a dick typing it, I made Jimin flick my forehead right after.”

You giggle, and he beams that dreamy smile at you again. “I’m gonna kiss you now,” he announces, and your heart thunders in your chest faster than the wings of a hummingbird.

And he does.

“I don’t know, I think Kevin Hart sounds great in this,” you mention, and you feel the hard scoff Jeongguk lets out from your position cradled on his chest. “It’s not the worst thing in the world,” you defend.

“You’re sick,” he says, then pauses the Captain Underpants movie to engage in your third debate of the evening. You’re barely fifteen minutes in. “You think that weirdo did George justice? How? In what world?”

“Babe, it’s just a voice actor,” you placate. “No one died because Mr. Hart voiced him.”

Jeongguk splutters. “Mr. Hart—you don’t know this man! And something did die! My hopes for a sequel!”

You shush him, pressing your index finger to his lips. “Enough complaints, Rotten Tomatoes. We won’t even finish at this rate.”

Jeongguk hits play, grumbling under his breath.

Just as you’d predicted, you don’t even make it to the halfway mark before Jeongguk’s got you on your back, plush lips working yours until they’re bruised, tongue halfway down your throat. “The mov—“ you mumble.

“Fuck Mr. Hart,” Jeongguk says, kissing down your jaw like he can’t allow himself to miss a single spot. When he reaches the collar of your shirt, he wastes no time tugging it off of you. You whine, instinctively covering your chest. “Don’t be shy,” he chuckles, “here, look-,” he tugs his sweatshirt over his head, and you’re met with the strong muscles of his abdomen and pecs, “-twins.”

You roll your eyes. “Just kiss me, Mr. Jeon,” you tease, wrapping your hands around him to bring him closer. He chokes, and mumbles something about saving that for another time.

Before you know it, he’s kissing between your thighs, soft lips producing the most erotic sounds with every smooch he gives. “Can I take these off?” he asks, one lone finger creeping beneath the hem of your panties, right where your hip is. You nod, biting your lower lip hard the moment he begins sliding them down. His hands are soft as they glide over your legs, and when he finally tugs them away from your ankles, he wastes no time nudging your legs open for him.

“Don’t just look at it,” you whine, jabbing his ribs with your foot. Jeongguk grins.

“Sorry I stare, you’re just so pretty,” he smiles, and you muffle an annoyed groan into your palms. “Gonna eat you out now,” he announces, finally, and you uncover your face to watch the way he lowers his mouth onto your throbbing pussy, pink tongue coming out to lick at your clit.

The first press of the wet muscle has your toes curling, back arched. You’d been craving this for the longest, and just as you’d expect, it’s better than any fantasy. “Right there,” you moan, reaching down to tangle a hand in Jeongguk’s wavy hair, the other fisting the pillow beneath your head.

Jeongguk absorbs all your tiny reactions, toying with your clit just how you like it. He rolls his tongue around it, making sure every part has been in his mouth at least once. When he suctions his lips around it and moans like this was getting him off, your body melts. “Fuck,” you cry out, your thighs quivering around his head. Part of you wants to slam them shut, hide from his tongue and all its devious ministrations. But the other part has never felt so good in your entire life.

When Jeongguk decides he’s pampered your swollen clit enough, he gives it one final kiss, wet and slippery. “Good?” He smiles up at you, lips slick with your juices. You nod, probably already looking fucked out. He smirks at your response, and your heart backflips in your chest, when he reaches up to knot your fingers together.

He kisses your knuckle and you whine. “How many fingers do you want?” He asks, and you blurt out the first number you can think of.

“Eight,” you choke, and immediately flush in embarrassment afterwards.

Jeongguk laughs, dropping his head to your thigh in a fit of giggles. He looks absolutely ethereal there, soft brown hair sprawled across your skin like an angel. “Smaller numbers, baby, please,” he chuckles. You shrug, so he decides for you. “How about I just use my tongue instead?” You think you might love him.

He settles back down, lips pressing against your mound one final time, before he’s diving in. You mewl right away, body becoming one with the mattress beneath you at the first brush of his tongue.

“Oh, Jeongguk,” you gasp, hands burying themselves in his scalp again. He hums in response, and the sound has every nerve in your body lighting up. His tongue prods against your folds, slowly licking his way deeper and deeper into your cunt.

The worst comes when he sighs against your pussy, literally sighs, like he’s so blessed to be there. “You’re s-so good at this,” you cry out, trembling fingers twisting his hair so tightly that you manage to pull him off just an inch. He pinches your thigh in warning, before stuffing his tongue into you again, absolutely plunging into the depths of your hole.

Just when you think he couldn’t possibly outdo this, he jolts up suddenly, nose brushing against your clit. His eyes go wide for the slightest second, as if he really hadn’t planned that, before flickering at you.

To your utter embarrassment, he takes one long whiff, eyes rolling to the back of his head in pleasure.

He pulls away from your dripping hole. “You smell so fucking good,” he informs you, spreading a fiery blush across your cheeks.

“Thanks?” You say, and he grins, shuffling onto his knees all of a sudden. You mope the loss of his tongue on your pussy, but forget about it the second he reaches for his desk and returns with a condom.

He tears the foil packet open with gentle hands, eyes weirdly zeroed in on that only. You nudge his hip, and when he meets your gaze, he instantly averts it. Like he’s suddenly shy.

Oh he was gonna be the death of you.

You tug his boxers down and get to revel in more of those bashful glances, but you soon forget about that when he grips his rock hard member in one hand, jacking it to its full potential. “Ready?” He says, one hand gripping your hip, the other his cock. You nod, and then shift up onto your elbows to watch him sink into you.

You can barely keep your eyes open, the second the tip of his cock brushes against you your eyes roll back into your head. You moan, letting yourself flop back against the mattress, chest heaving with each inch he sinks in. “Fuck, you’re big,” you cry, biting down on your fist.

Jeongguk chuckles. “Yeah?” He grunts, and then stills as he waits for you to catch your breath. He gives you exactly four seconds before he’s thrusting the remainder of the way in.

Your back arches off the bed, a high-pitched moan ripping itself out of your throat. “Jeon!”

“Relax, relax,” he croons, releasing your hip to lean over you, peppering your face in kisses. You’re heaving for air, so overwhelmed with emotions. “You’re doing so good for me, doll,” he comforts, kissing every inch of you until you regain your wits. “So wet and warm for me, you have no idea how bad I wanna just ram my cock into your tight, little pussy.”

You huff, heart still skipping by the time you grow familiar with the sheer size of his dick inside of you. When you’ve finally come back down to earth, eyes fluttering at Jeongguk, he gives you one affirmative nod before he begins really fucking you.

He starts carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll break you with one push. You’re thankful that he’s at least somewhat aware of his own bear strength, but you’d prefer if he picked up the pace. Before you can file a complaint, he’s hiking your thigh up onto the crease of his elbow, and ramming himself into you.

“Could already hear some smart ass comment coming,” he groans, snapping his hips into you with a newfound intensity. You moan, trying desperately to reciprocate some movements back.

“Wasn’t gonna say anything,” you gasp, fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders, scratching lone lines down his back. Jeongguk snorts, pushing in, and then grinding your pelvises together deliciously.

He rolls his eyes, then chooses that exact moment to capture your lips in his. You groan softly, body boneless beneath him at the gentle way he kisses you, like his entire life depends on this single kiss.

When he finally releases your lips, he’s huffing against your mouth, hips having not stopped a single time. You know he’s tired and so riled up; you’d felt the brush of his half-hard member from the moment you first laid down to watch the movie.

But Jeongguk was a gentleman, through and through. You’d felt the brush of his cock, and heard the thundering of his heart, but he hadn’t pushed you further a single time. He basked in your presence, waiting until you crept your hand beneath his shirt to finally pounce.

“I’m close,” you tell him, reaching down to toy with your clit. Jeongguk had treated it like the finest treasure earlier, but now your gentle caresses feel mediocre compared to the way he’d touched it. Jeongguk nods, the tips of his wavy hair sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck. You abandon your quest to finish yourself off and focus on brushing his hair away from his face. “You’re so good to me,” you moan, lightly picking the corner of his mouth. “Don’t deserve you.”

He rams his cock into you, the arm not holding up your thigh weakening, until he’s leaning on his forearm over you. “Don’t say that,” he chokes out, and you wonder if his orgasm is as close as yours.

A particular brush of his cock against your cervix has you seeing stars, thighs clenching around him. “Just a little bit—more,” you beg, body writhing beneath him, pushing yourself up to meet his thrusts.

“So perfect,” he praises, kissing along your jaw. “Come for me, baby.”

You nod, but not before cupping his face in your hands, and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. He makes a soft little sound of surprise, smile pressed against your mouth, and the heat in your abdomen finally explodes. You disassociate for all of one second, consumed in a wave of bliss never before heard of, his pistoning thrusts working you through it.

You nearly cry from how good it feels, throwing an arm around his neck to pull him closer. You’re babbling like an idiot, saying shit you won’t remember later. What you do recall is the chuckles Jeongguk had muffled against your neck, hips never faltering as he chased his own high.

He finds it a few beats later, the muscles of his back suddenly going rigid. He moans your name, somehow making it sound like it’s the best song in the world, before his hips begin stuttering in their mission. He eventually goes slack, slumped over you without completely crushing you beneath the weight of his muscles.

By the time you’ve fully recovered, he’s sliding out of you. Right as you go to speak, he stuffs two fingers into your sensitive cunt. “Jeon!” You wail, reaching down to push him away before you come again.

He snickers. “What? It’d be a waste to let it out,” he says, letting go when he’s decided he’s done his job, popping the digits into his mouth. You groan, trying to quell the excitement that builds in your chest from watching him suck your cum off his fingers.

“You’re the worst,” you sigh, snatching his t-shirt off the edge of the bed to tug over your bare form. Jeongguk tugs his underwear back on, retrieving yours from where he’d flung them across the room. When you’re settled into the blankets again, you’re not expecting the laptop to return as well. You raise a questioning eyebrow.

Jeongguk shrugs, nestling into your chest. “Hit play, this is when Professor Poopy Pants begins attacking the city.”

[ratplagues]

🔥 any dishonored thing of ur choosing -deathoftheoutsider

wah okay!! i will talk a bit about the outsider and void then..i dont really wanna frame it as a Hot Take bc i have no interest in starting shit or whatever like ill interact with whatever i want to in this fandom and ignore the rest and everyone else is free to do the same but.

I do not think The Outsider is a “character” in the conventional sense, much less that it does his character or the allegory he wields any justice to be shipped with anyone in the series (at least without seriously considering the implications and framing it in a way that completes the allegory. more on this later)

the outsider and his void are an allegory for Otherness; i’m namely gonna frame it as queerness and neurodiversity, but really anything could fit as long as it’s about you feeling seen as a marginalized and othered person. he is written to represent this allegory, not to be a person with a satisfying narrative arc or dimensions. this is why some people feel that he lacks depth-- he’s not supposed to have depth compared to others in the series, he’s mostly a vehicle for what he represents, and is supposed to be easy to identify with or recognize.

he was born to a life of hardship, suffered at the hands of the rich and powerful, was ignored, cast out, etc. etc. a familiar story. poor, queer, nd, really whatever you wanna frame it as. he was a nobody outcast. in comes the envisioned, they pick him to serve as their martyr and idol without his permission. he then had his name cut away and forgotten, and was thrust onto a pedestal to spend the rest of eternity being worshipped by other outcasts who had suffered at the same hands he had. he has something greatly in common with those who worship him, including the very people who stripped his mortality from him in the first place, but because of this shared hardship (and nothing else), his own autonomous personhood was disregarded completely in favor of The Community needing someone Just Like Them to idolize. if this sounds familiar, that’s because it should!!

his humanity was taken from him, and in his place, an idol was created. his human body is frozen in stone in the center of the void-- retired. out of commission. no longer needed. he was immortalized, transcended. this is traditionally desired, although dishonored is trying to convince you that it is not actually desirable. in the age of internet content creation, you can be immortalized without even being present, without knowing about it. you become what you can do for other people, and what you cannot. people fall in love with an idea of you, the idea of you being like them, and other people come to hate you deeply without even knowing you. people came to hate the outsider more deeply than he ever had been when he was human-- he wasn’t seen when he was human. a pedestal only helps you to be seen. the outsider had the choice made for him to achieve immortality in exchange for the simple joys of being un-known.

he spends all of doto trying to convey this idea to billie through the hollows:

"There is freedom in being hated. There is license in being cast out. Some learn this lesson a little too well."  "These people lay their thoughts, their petty wants, their murderous desires in front of me to witness. I cannot turn away." "We carry what was done to us through the rest of our endless days. No one asked if we wanted it." (i like this one. he speaks for the community-- this is a shared experience, one everyone can recognize. however, as a Queer Figure, he never asked for this. he never asked to be immortalized. i like the double meaning here)

not to mention, the entire extent of the outsider’s Sole ability and influence on the real world is to “choose” people and give them untold power over others. this is a fun ironic twist on what marginalized groups endure from powerful people, (dishonored is largely about power imbalances and socioeconomic hierarchies) but it’s also fun to think about in the context of the role model/fan framing-- so many worshippers give their lives to be “chosen” by him. it’s easily framed as an exaggeration of otherwise very real power imbalances and often the flagrant breaching of boundaries existing between creators and fans.

and on the subject of the VOID...ohht he void.....

the void should be a haven for queer folks. for nd folks. it’s wanted by so many to be a safe space, it should be, it’s the Other World! it’s renounced by the abbey, crusaded against, even. but it isn’t. it’s just this limitless, eons-old horizon that hungers and starves for something to fill it. if the outsider is the lament of queer idolatry, the void is the lament of queer Hunger. it is roaming, and restless. it does not belong to the outsider; the outsider cannot survive without it. it’s the desire to belong, not a place of belonging.

the void craves this idol, this outsider-- i, for one, have often experienced hunger for a truly moral and just role model, someone to make the world Right, and i know this is another shared feeling. those who worship the outsider, who drive themselves mad trying to see him or be chosen by him, are suffering from this idol hunger. you see this in a lot of queer and nd kids and young adults. i grew up just having my life and interests like, punctuated by different fixations on different people that i didn’t know at all, only fell in love with the idea of. it happens a lot.

there’s a couple more doto quotes that really highlight this for me:

"They carve my mark into the old bones bleached by the sun. They carve my mark into their skin. They learn true hunger in the Void." "All these charms, these runes and fetid offerings on shrines made for me, will be nothing more than objects worn of meaning. Bones and dead things, thrown into the dirt."

“They learn true hunger in the Void.” is something that i wanna touch on real quick. people can spend their lives obsessing over the idea of what they think the void will cure for them, will fix in their lives, only to find out that it’s just a hollow manifestation of the emptiness they’ve felt all their lives. it’s not the needs met, but the need itself. you have to make the home, it doesn’t already exist and you can’t fucking run to it. it is heartbreaking, frustrating, one of the bleakest messages i’ve ever encountered in a game, but i’ve never felt more seen. by submitting to these ideas, the idea of a perfect unhuman human and the idea of a perfect otherworldly home, you are surrendering your humanity. you’re not only being transformed by the powers gained (if they are gained), you’re essentially dissolving with hunger after never having these needs met. you see so many people in these games whittling themselves down to nothing but base need. empty apartments occupied only by shrines, sometimes containing their corpses. journals of people dedicating their lives to the worship of the outsider, always ending darkly.  "I will find this empty place. Somehow the key to open the Void will fall into my hands. In time, I will learn the secret and he will call to me as he called to her."

not to mention The New Envisioned-- prolonged exposure to the void will always, without fail, turn a human into silver void stone. these creatures can no longer interact with or acknowledge the mortal world. they have surrendered themselves to hunger, and cannot be saved. this is celebrated by the cult, honored by them, even. i honestly like....i pity them, and i hate them, and i recognize that i’ve been those people, lmao. when i was at my worst as a teenager, i wasnt so much a person as i was just a shell full of hunger and heartbreak. my personality was defined by who i was a fan of. i think i definitely was Less Human then. the cult of the outsider is a universal experience!!

dishonored, at its core, is a celebration of humanity. it asks you to celebrate human emotion and weakness despite greed and bigotry. the powers are not to be wanted, they are to be ignored, refused. it is human to hunger, but it is Queer and Divergent to make hunger your life’s meaning, to need to learn the secret, find the key, be chosen and loved and cherished, to be made whole by some perfect thing. to find your humanity in something un-human. dishonored sees all that, mourns it with you, and then asks you to find humanity in each other !! love the spine of your lover, the blood draining down the docks, the pause to stretch languidly in the sun of a work day.

and finally...on the topic of outsider shipping....i dont think that, in his god form, it does him much justice to be shipped with anyone. he’s not much of a person, just a projection of his former self and a vehicle for his allegory as discussed-- im sure he could be shipped like this, but it just isn’t satisfying to me in any way. however, let’s talk a bit about his lethal and nonlethal ending. DOTO asks you to make a choice. is it better to give him an abrupt and merciful ending, after deciding that the fury he’s endured at the hands of others’ famine is too much trauma for any mortal to live with? or will you decide that it’s only fair to give him a chance to live the life he never got to, to return his humanity that was taken without his consent? if you choose to free him from the void, i think you can very very easily make the argument that he can be shipped with corvo, or anyone else that can easily be shipped w/ ppl. he’s finally free to live his life as a queer man, can explore the simple and complex joys of being human with other people, navigate the hills and valleys he never got to before. corvo’s just a nice pick bc 1) experienced human/inexperienced human is good, 2) they know each other, but they don’t. this is a good setup. 3) corvo is an older queer man and uhh you cant convince me otherwise lol! and older queer/younger queer is a self indulgence for me. also corvo is just nice. i think he would enjoy helping the outsider navigate his new humanity.

just some thoughts i have running through my head all hours of the day :) this is really long cuz its a combination of a lot of infodumps from discord lmfao