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jeerakeliye · 10 months

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"are you really going to get your nipples pierced? but—" heeseung started, concerned about the younger one.

"really, hyung?" jay asked, chuckling softly at hee's sweetness. "i have like, 7 ear piercings and a lip piercing too." he further added, grinning confidently at heeseung. "also, it's just one nipple. so don't you worry, heeseungie hyungie," he explained, gently tapping on heeseung's shoulder.

"i'll be just fine," said jay, as sunghoon and jake cheered for him, excited to see the results of his yet another impulsive decision.

scylla, the name of the shop was rather unique.

"hello, this is park jongseong," he informed the beautiful brunette girl at the counter. "and i have an appointment today, at 3 pm." that brunette had started eye-fucking him shamelessly. she loved how sharp his jawline was, and how hot he looked with all those piercings, tattoos, and golden highlights. agreeably, so did everyone. jay had always been this kind of person to love attention and absolutely cherished the idea of the world revolving around him. he was hot and he knew it.

she handed him some documents to fill up before getting pierced so as to gather information about his allergic history if he had any. "you may go inside room number 2, our artist is waiting for you." she said, blinking at him and setting up the documents in a manila folder. jay didn't miss the chance to smirk at her, thrilled to face a new event.

"y/n?"

"jongseong?" you barked, discarding the mask on your face, never breaking eye contact with jay.

"wait what—" jay frowned, checking you out from top to bottom, making you feel smaller and self-conscious under his look.

jay discarded his shirt and sat on the chair, still amazed at the encounter, his chiseled body in complete display. "aren't you that hot nerd who always inhabited the very first bench and scored a whooping a+ in every assignment and exam?"

he kept talking without even letting you open your mouth, just like old times.

"how did you end up here?" he asked, stopping to catch some breath.

still keeping quiet, you open a drawer to wear new pair of gloves after sanitizing your hands. preparing your pieces of equipment on a tray, you slide your chair closer to his seat.

"let's just say i eventually found out what made me happy, and not my parents."

"but, babe—" you stopped him mid tracks, placing a finger on his lips and smirking at him.

"now listen to me, pretty boy," you announced. "you're here to get your nipple pierced, right? let's get into business because i hate distractions." you loved how you didn't sound anything like the old y/n. his breath hitched. blushing at your words, he nodded like the good boy he was. was he the same jay? the heartthrob who was way too out of everyone's league? he was undoubtedly the most handsome boy in your university, but his short-tempered fuckboy nature made him even more desirable. the fact that his cheeks and ears reddened at your fingertips fueled your ego. the bad boy, jay, was shy. how cute.

"jay, you can either choose barbells or hoops, although barbells tend to heal faster and they don’t move around as much. different metals are gold, silver, and titanium. i recommend titanium if your skin is sensitive as it's hypoallergenic and not very problematic.” you wrapped up, scanning his pretty face. nervousness evident on his face.

"i'll go with the barbells, please," he whispered, trying his best to not sound nervous.

"good choice, hm," you encouraged, earning a smile from him. "here's the process; i'll rub some alcohol on it and then flick it to make sure it's hard enough to be pierced."

collecting some alcohol on a cotton swab, you cleaned his nipples tenderly. his heartbeat fastened as you flicked his nipple and attached the nipple clamps. you looked up and smiled at him.

"relax, yeah?" you said, giving him a thumbs up. "it's gonna be ok, breathe."

"princess, it's not my first time," he pouted, clearly trying to hide his embarrassment. "look," he said, rolling his lip piercing with his tongue.

"ok, here we go," you said, inserting the needle and then the barbell. his chest heaved up and down as a breathy whine slipped off his tongue. that went straight to your core. that's exactly how he would sound if you got a chance to make him feel good. fuck.

his chest heaved as he struggled to control his breathing. messy hair sticking to his forehead, he sat up. "you did well, pretty boy," you praised him, tracing his barely prominent abs. "such a good boy."

he melted into your touch, his cock growing harder and harder with each passing second. "y/n, please–" he mumbled, gripping your wrist.

"please what, doll? you teased him further.

Ii w-want you to touch me and help me with that, please." jay stuttered, indicating at his boner, feeling timid under your aura.

removing your gloves, you sat in between his legs and unbuttoned his pants with your mouth. you kept massaging his inner thighs. jay moaned when he felt your soft breath on his lower abdomen. you unzipped his pants with your teeth lazily making him whimper.

you pulled down his boxers and kissed the tip of his member, now dripping and red with arousal.

"fuck," he moaned and bit his lip.

"like this, baby boy?" you raised an eyebrow, pumping his cock in your hand.

"mhm…" he hummed, pressing his lips together to avoid a high-pitched moan.

"tone it down, doll," you said giving tiny licks to his sensitive tip. "we don't want the people outside to hear us," you said, wrapping your lips around his length as you slowly began bobbing your head up and down. he tasted warm and salty. gripping your hair, he kept staring at your pretty face taking him in all at once, his tip hitting your throat. you gagged a little as he unexpectedly jerked his hips. your hand-kept pumping his length and tracing random patterns on his inner thigh. light tremors of sensation built into rumbles of pleasure, leading to an orgasm that hit him like an earthquake, making him shudder. but to his surprise, you stopped before things could've escalated. jay groaned as you stood up, wiping your lips behind your hand.

"we'll send along the list of dos and don'ts. just remember, piercings are semi-permanent modifications and will close up rather quickly if you go without jewellery for too long." you said, discarding the used stuff into the garbage bin. "also, don't play with it, and uh, don't let anyone either." you added smugly, smirking at him. you wanted to test his patience.

but instead of complaining about it, jay surely had some other plans for you. "take care of it, baby boy." you said in a sing-along voice, winking at him and evacuating the compartment.

☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎☽︎

a soft knock on your door disturbed your skincare routine before sleeping. you were still in your bathrobe, hair damps after a soothing shower. you were unknowingly annoyed at that person for disturbing you at a late hour.

opening the door, you see jay in a plain white shirt tucked inside his ripped jeans with a silver chain adorning his neck.

"missed me, doll? interrogated jay, walking into your house with an expressionless face. his gaze and nickname made you weak in the knees. you should've changed into something before opening the door, you thought to yourself.

"j-jay why are you here? a-and who gave you my address? if it's about the peircing, this is not the place." he kept walking towards you until your back hit a table near your door.

"jay, i think you should leave," you said, biting your lip nervously, putting a hand between you and his body.

moving your hair aside for better access, jay kissed your neck. he licked a long stripe from your neck to your ear, whiffing in your fragrance. "mhm, sweet, you smell so delicious."

"please—" your voice faded away just when jay pulled you to him by the knot of your bathrobe, kissing you deeply.

"kiss me back if you want me to stay," he said in between the kiss as he swiped his tongue over your lower lip and started sucking on it.

you melt into jay's embrace, wrapping your hands around his neck. he started kneading the flesh of your ass harshly, your ass cheeks jiggling to his playful spanks.

"take it off for me, come on," he mumbled palming your breasts while pressing wet kisses on your neck.

you slipped off the only piece of cloth on your body as his fingers found your wetness.

"fucking look at yourself," he said teasing your hole with a finger. "you wanted me to leave, didn't you?" he was touching you everywhere except where you needed him the most. "then why are you dripping? huh?"

"jay, please touch me." you whimpered.

jay raised your leg and supported it with his forearm, inserting two fingers inside your hole, he started pumping his fingers although bitterly slow.

"why did you leave me hanging that day, slut." he growled. you stared at him astonished by his new name for you.

"aw, doll, do you like that name?" he taunted, still going very slow. you bucked your hips desperately, wanting his movements to be faster.

"you want me to go faster?" he said, adding in a third finger. you bobbed your head, moaning at the stretch.

"use your tongue, kitten." he whispered biting your collar bone.

"jay, faster, please. i want to cum." you whined, pushing your hips into his hands. jay sped his digits, the soft squelch of your wet pussy growing louder with every pump of his fingers. you moaned his name as he urged you closer and closer to your orgasm. you felt the world spinning. just as you felt you were gonna cum, jay took out his fingers and forced it into your mouth. you whined and denied sucking on his fingers, making him chuckle at your state.

"you're cumming on my cock, princess," he smiled allowing you to hop on him as you wrap your legs around his waist. stumbling hastily and placing open-mouthed kisses on your jaw he made his way to your bedroom.

you looked fucked out. you were confused whether or not the reflection you were observing in the mirror in front of your bed was yours. jay pounded into you from behind, one hand wrapped around your neck, another hand gripping your waist.

smirking to himself, he spread your legs by his knees. jay had warned you to keep looking at the mirror and you did it like the sweet girl you were. "look at my fat cock going in and out of your needy hole, you're taking me in so well," he said, his dark eyes never leaving the reflection in the mirror. the way he was dragging his hips deeply and hitting every spot inside you. "such a good girl, such a good fucking girl," he praised, slamming his cock endlessly as fat sobs rolled off your cheeks.

"i've been thinking about this since that day," he whispered breathing heavily.

you kept moaning his name, clutching your sheets as you came undone all over his cock. soon after jay filled you up, cumming inside you the moment he felt you clenching around his length.

he pressed soft and gentle kisses down your spine as you shuddered due to the feeling of his soft lips. collapsing into the bed he pulled you into his arms and kissed you all over your face. "y/n, we'll go for a round two if you allow me to stay here tonight." he sneered, intertwining fingers with you.

you climbed on top of him and pushed him down and pinned his hands to the bed. your eyes dark with lust.

"but how about you prove to mommy that you're worthy of another round with her?"

fuck. he loved you this way.

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crispy-ghee · 2 years

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Witcher AU - Haedain (Heddi/Hottie/Hee)

A half-elf serf-turned-assassin-turned-bard. Seeking to make his name writing poems, and leave behind a bit of fraught past. He thinks of himself as an ex-assassin (if not for all the assassinations he still occasionally does). Living a harsh, abused existence since birth due to his lineage led him down the path of a “resistance fighter” in his teenage to young adult years--that’s where all the ‘assassinating’ started--but as he got older he became tired and wondered if he could live a more legit life. Though, he isn’t sure if he could ever fully assimilate. And there are always questions as to whether he actually wants to.

His rogue skills are excellent, and even now he is, as he puts it, “secretly pointy,” in reference to all the daggers and throwing knives he has hidden in his instruments and clothes. That being said, he avoids letting anyone know that he has any sort of capability in that, and would rather be seen as a soft, delicate performer that, while capable enough with a short-sword, otherwise needs protecting. His Assassin skills are definitely a “I’m good at it, but I don’t wanna do it,” thing, and utilizing them is usually due to necessity or coercion, and he does it with a grumble.

He's been hopping around following different adventurers, trying to find anyone worth writing about that he can stick around, with no long term luck. Many have died, abandoned him, or worst of all, have turned out to actually be very boring. He does eventually end up with the Witcher Massif, in a very strange arrangement indeed.

This was from a while ago, and I didn't post it until now because tumblr was not letting me post images (it almost didn't work this time as well, I had to randomly remove one of the images, so there is a piece of art here y'all will not see, whoops. Probably for the best, it was pretty slutty).

Why the hell do I always make bards

That last drawing is a reference to this really fucking ugly nightie they made the love interests wear in the first Witcher game

#Witcher #Witcher OC #character design #bard #half-elf #art #sketch #heddi #haedain

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

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Headcanons for being Owen Grady’s child

Owen Grady x child!reader

warnings: knives, guns

a/n: i cannot remember the plot bare w me

prompt: being owen’s child

okay, let’s start with the fact that he’s a single dad

that did not stop him from raising you right

navy brat

after a little bit of instability during his years of service, he got a job as a raptor trainer

so you see, it wasn’t a typical childhood

you two moved to isla nublar so he could begin his work

“woah, that’s a dinosaur?”

“yeah, kiddo, she’s a velociraptor”

you were a bit older when you met the dinosaurs, so owen trusted you to be around them

“if you respect them, they’ll respect you”

blue took a liking to you pretty quick!!!

owen thought it was adorable the way you got along with the raptors

you were sort of like a co-trainer

living in that lil trailer

“this place is too small”

“quit your complaining and eat your mac and cheese”

your dad taught you how to fix cars and motorcycles

you did a bang-up job

“you really are my child. oh, my god, im so proud”

watching tv with owen all the damn time

it was usually cartoons though bc that was all he cared to watch

sometimes he forgets that you are not a raptor and you have to jog his memory

“can you get your hand out of my face before i tear it off?”

half of your holiday gifts are weapons

“look at this knife, y/n! it’s two inches longer than your old one. you’ll grow into it”

“dad, a knife is not a pair of pants...but thank you, i love it”

you’re pretty good at throwing knives, though. your dad put a target on a nearby tree for you to practice

every once in a while it’s gun practice, though

“okay, remember the proper foot stance...now arms. make sure not to lock up, make sure your fingers are clear from anything that could move...okay, go!”

there was a high level of trust between you and your dad

he ruffles your hair a lot, you used to care

you no longer care

you had free admission to the park, so sometimes you’d take the day off and wander around for a while

you always came home with a stuffed animal (or several)

“is that a stuffed pterodactyl?”

“his name is pterry”

“nice”

back to raptor training: you loved it!!!!!!!

training a dinosaur was nothing like training a dog, lemme tell you

these lovely dinos made you so happy!!!

they’re pretty at-ease when you’re nearby

arguing when anyone talks about using them for some sort of selfish profit

“they’re animals, dipshit! stop treating them like weapons!”

“mr. grady, are you going to tell your child to behave?”

“no, no i will not”

claire popping over to see your dad while you were working on his bike

because she suddenly needed your dad’s help

and wanted to exclude you until your dad said he wouldn’t do anything unless you had the opportunity to come along

“you know, y/n, i have a nephew who’s about the same age as you visiting here right now”

“how old am i, claire?”

she did not have a response

your dad was stifling chuckles

“nice one, kid” *high five*

tHe InDoMiNuS rEx

you: 👀

owen: 👀

yeah this was not gonna be good

tbh you almost died when you were surveying the cage

why? oh, i don’t know...because there was a BIG FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THAT BITCH

“y/n! under there!”

you ran ahead of owen and ducked under a truck where he soon followed (and dumped gasoline all over yall)

terrifying, truly

your dad did not want to let you out of his sight

not todayyyy

“are you okay, yeah?”

“perfect...”

busting into the control center :) tee hee

while owen was barking orders at people and telling them to not do what they were doing, you were sitting next to the guy with a bunch of dinosaurs on his desk

“you like them?”

“not really, i’m not five”

“oh...”

turning to the screen to see flatlining soldiers

“oh, shit. uh, that’s not good. you need to close the park maybe?”

they dont like listening to the child with the bright ideas ig

they did end up shutting off rides though. best they can do, huh?

claire couldnt get in contact with her nephews

you went after them together

it was a long ass journey

you almost died a few times

although your father did trust you to take care of yourself, even in a situation like this, he still was extremely worried for your safety

you got a gun :)

this was actually positively the worst day of your life

okay, it took a long while to catch up to claire’s nephews

“jesus, claire, you’re nephews sure know how to move. this is getting exhausting”

you didn’t find them until the......pterodactyls got loose

“pterry would never do something like this”

“not the time or place, y/n”

“sorry, dad”

finally finding those damn kids

“hey, i’m y/n, your crazy ass aunt just dragged me and my dad all the way around the island to find you!”

oh yeah a pterodactyl tackled your dad

whoop de do your gun was jammed

claire saved the day and all three of you witnessed their little display of pda amidst chaos

“wow, uh, maybe we’ll be cousins...”

your dad finally caved and agreed to use the raptors to find the indominus rex

and you got to prove your badassery out there

“you sure you’re up for this mission, y/n? you know you can stay with claire and the boys if you want”

“i’ll be okay, dad, i promise”

he gave you a hug

YOU GOT A MF MOTORCYCLE

okay i cant lie, you and your dad riding motorcycles side-by-side among velociraptors was probably the coolest thing you’ll ever get to do

but they, uh, kind of turned on you and next thing you know, you were speeding after the ambulance claire was driving

zach and gray were relieved to see you

you gave ‘em a little wave

“do you think we’ll ever be that cool?”

“gray, not now”

“i’m gonna take that as a ‘no’”

CLAIRE LET OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX

it was an Experience(tm)

you were split up from your dad and the boys while she was doing that

so you were deathly worried

running over there when it was safe

“is everyone alright?”

“define ‘alright’” -gray

“we’re fine, y/n” -zach

“are you okay?” -dad

“yeah, i think so”

this final battle between the dinosaurs was a bit shocking to watch, but it was hard to keep your eyes off

it all wrapped up and the dinos were let loose

and......the park got closed down

you and your dad were unemployed effective immediately

but your dad and claire finally got together

“you guys are sweet but are we all going to fit in that little camper?”

“we’ll make it work”

they did for a while

but there was a lot if arguing

your dad wanted to reside in the camper forever, claire didn’t, they broke up, you stayed with your dad to help him out during hard times, he decided to build a cabin

he claims he was not affected by the breakup but you knew better

you and your dad had an unbreakable bond, you’d been through so much together

it was only a matter of time before the world had something new in store for you and dad

taglist:

#owen grady #owen grady x reader #owen grady imagine #owen grady x daugter!reader #owen grady x child!reader #grady!reader #jurassic world imagine #jurassic world x reader #jurassic world #dad!owen grady

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apenapaperandadoofus · 3 years

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"least to most bottom of the RFA" you say 👀

CONSIDER THIS A REQUEST MY FRIEND

Hehehehehe THANK YOU

I actually came up with this bc I had a stress dream that I was writing request and I was writing smth like this and since then I have not thought of anything else ANSNSNSND

Least to most bottom MM characters:

12. Rika

This bitch will not. Back. Down.

She is a full on top, fuck you

Nah but really you will not make this woman bend down to your will, it has to be the other way. She has to feel the power! The control!

(and of course if we want to get into more of the psychological stuff it's also bc of that bitch ass pastor that did that to her as a child, and to him I wish him a very fuck you and fuck off, BUT ANYWAY)

This woman will not back down. If you try and make her a bottom she will act like she's backing down until she turns the tables and you're the one that's pinned against the bed or wall. It's a fight you cannot win 🙂

11. Unknown

No.

No matter how much you want to pin that little fucker down, he will not. Let. You.

He doesn't want to feel vulnerable.

Still, that doesn't mean he won't do it every once in a full moon or smth where hee will maaaaybe let you be the dominant one. Of course he will still be ordering you around, so who's really the one in control?

10. Jumin

Jumin is also a power top, although every once in a while he'd change the pace of things for a bit.

He wouldn't go super far as too havig to full on freaking beg, but he'd come pretty close to that point if you hold him down and start straddling him. He wouldn't mind getting tied up too y'know? Just not all the way. Maybe once in a while you can tie his arms behind him and straddle him, and he will literally go crazy because he just can't touch you, and you just feel. So. Good.

9. Vanderwood

He's a bottom brat whenever he switches andbdbfnfn

Listen, once in a while you'll both change pace, and he'll be all like "pft, your think you can make me kneel down? No way in hell." To be a few minutes later begging for you to let him come and to please, please just fuck him!

8. Suit

But Amanda, what about Unknown and how he wasn't a bottom? Isn't Suit basically Unknown but in his early stage?

And to that I say yes but I love brat bottom boys so you will have to deal with it ajdhdhdb

Listen to me.

TOPPING THIS MAN? YES PLEASE???

Also since he does still have a bit of Ray in him, y'know he likes being pinned down.

He will be an absolute bastard though. He will curse and yell the whole time, but then once you finally get him?

Oh he will beg for you non stop like Lin Manuel Miranda said in his Hamilton musical songs "Non-Stop"

He L O V E S being tied down. Not Lin btw I mean Suit lol.

Not with blindfolds tho, that would be far too much. But to be served his own medicine for once? Honestly he's kinda into it. He loves the dominant glint in your eye, how commanding you are, basically how you're not taking ANY of his BS.

It is my personal hc since I'm a horny bitch, that suit would actually be into being a bottom, but he's just a bit shy about it, and yes, he can be a top too which is why he's not all the way down, but you know being a bottom is a guilty pleasure for this boy.

He likes that shit.

7. Zen

He's also mostly a switch, except he isn't much of a brat. He's more of a chill bottom. You tell him you want to be on top today? Sure thing baby let me just get the blindfold.

He's totally up for it, and he loves seeing you taking control and being confident. That's what he likes the most. Of course, he'd much rather be the one gripping your wrists on top of you and banging ya like there's no tomorrow.

6. Jaehee

YES

This woman hasn't really dated anyone or anything except her work, so she's definetly a bit inexperienced. That's why she'll look to you to take the lead!

Jaehee should be spoiled alright, so please take care of this woman with your life and make her have the time of her life

5. GE! Saeran

This boy is also a sort of power bottlom. Sometimes he will take the lead and oh god, is he great at that, but other times? When he's a bottom, he's a BOTTOM

He will gasp and moan at every little touch, he absolutely adores getting praised, and he loves it when you watch him with that glint of lust in your eyes.

Boy when he's a bottom he's just: chefs kiss 💋👌👌

4. Saeyoung

He's also an amazing top, but when he switches and becomes a bottom he's also AMAZING. He's at the top of the bottoms (hahahaha funny)

He also likes being pinned down and given orders, to have to b e g.

He also likes praise a lot like his brother pft.

And he's also a lot into being tied up, blindfolds, all that. No matter if it's you or him. The only thing he's a bit iffy about is basically hitting him and for very obvious reasons, but appart from that he's up for anything wink wink.

3. Ray

Do I have to even explain? Like??? Do I really???

His middle name is BOTTOM.

When you look him up in the dictionary it says in bold letters and in the whole page BOTTOM.

His name means BOTTOM.

He's too shy to start anything up by himself, he needs you to take the lead so he knows he's not doing anything wrong. This boy will bend to your will so fucking easily, he's a fucking spaghetti, you can grab him and twist him around your finger akfkfnfn

Just praise him and he'll be so happy. Just imagine when -milking him dry- EHEM he'd just beg and his eyes would be all teary and OH LORD YES BOTTOM RAY ALL THE WAY WHOOP.

2. Yoosung

It is literally cannon he's a masochist. Literally. This boy loves it. He's like s puppy. He will look at you with adoration the whole time, and will follow all of your orders. He'd happily go down on all fours for you, he'd literally do ANYTHING

Also I have said this so many times and I will say it again,

P e g h i m

This man is PERFECT FOR IT, DON'T WASTE THE OPPORTUNITY AND TEASE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS MAN, MAKE 👏 HIM 👏 BEG👏

1. V

Dude. This man is a bottom and nothing else, NOTHING ELSE

PEG HIM TOO! (Pfttttttt basically the last two of the list are just me going PEG HIM over and over again lmao.)

You cannot tell me this man is a top. You simply can't.

He is a bottom boy. Just don't blindfold him bc ✨trauma✨

Appart from that tie him up, edge him do whatever else you want. This man will look at you with tears in the corner of his eyes, barely able to speak. "M-MC... please....I-I just c-can't anymore...." He'd whisper.

God I know he isn't my favorite but I would dffinetly date him just for this holy fuck.

God am I horny and touch starved I need jesus

Anyway now go and read the bible and bathe in holy water, and I'll save you all a spot next to me in hell :D

#mystic messenger #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #choi bois #jihyun mysme #mysme #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #mysme zen

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sami-at-ciela · 3 years

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Prompt 6: Avatar

Or: “There’s too much wild crap going on for one ‘or’ line.”

I had a long chat with a buddy about how the amaro are basically dogs, and I thought about making my dogs into amaros. Sparki was a miniature schnauzer who loved me to bits but had an incredible attitude problem towards everyone else. Clearly, she’s a model amaro (maybe, maybe not).

I want to apologize in advance for the leaning on the 4th wall that shows up later in the story, but also? Nah. Revel in it.

The village of amaros had one odd dragonbird in its ranks.

Sparki was a pygmy amaro with a distinct fluffy while beard and an attitude. The first thing she did when she left her roost that morning was argue with Seto.

“Hey, Seto,” she barked, flapping over his roost walls and landing right in front of him. “Got a question for ya. That jock-looking guy you always palled around with-”

Seto gave a harrumph befitting his stature. “His name was Ardbert, Sparki, and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sparki grumped, flapping her wings in a dismissive huffy gesture. “Do you know if he had any kids who might have carried on the adventuring business?”

“No,” Seto grunted. “Why are you asking this now?”

Sparki gave a dracoavian shrug. “I dunno, I saw you with the pretty Viis lady in yellow, and she found your medallion and you got all mushy-gushy over it, and it got me thinking: I wanna go on an adventure, too. I remember, before I could talk, I always came by to yell at you and Ardbert and bite his ankles. It was a good time.”

Seto heaved his best exasperated sigh. “Yes, I remember as well, even if all we heard at the time was aggressive gweeing and the panicking of the rookery keeper as he came to retrieve you.”

“Meh. Idiot should have fixed the hole in the gates faster then. Too bad there is no gate anymore.” A beat passed, and Sparki changed her focus. “So! I think I’m gonna go on that adventure. I already packed some food and water, but what else do you think I need? Aside from a traveling companion who’s big and strong- or small and strong- and can make sure I don’t get my ass bitten by a Sin Eater?”

“How did you pack-” Seto shook his head. That bit of minutiae wasn’t important. “Sparki, you should be more willing to ensure that your companion isn’t bitten by a Sin Eater instead.”

“Oh, please! If I find a good buddy, they’re gonna be my ride or die. I swear it on my honor as an amaro! I wouldn’t be an amaro at all if I didn’t love people. Like, seriously.” Sparki huffed through her nose as her mind drifted. “Don’t get me wrong. I miss the hells out of my master. We went through so much crap together. No one else would make me wag my butt harder.”

“That has always been a strange habit of yours,” Seto cut in. “If you truly plan to seek a new master for whatever reason, I would advise visiting the Nu Mou some malms away. As faithfully industrious as they are, they may very well have a lead or two for you.”

Sparki raised one wing in a mimic of a salute. “Thanks for the tip, old pal! I think I’ll head straight for ‘em. See you when I make the big time!”

“What ‘big time?’” Seto scoffed, but it was too late. Sparki had already taken off and was cackling a most distinctive “Gwee-hee-hee-hee!”

From above, the Nu Mou settlement was easy to spot, and she whooped down right in front of one that nearly fell over from surprise. “An amaro? What brings you here?” they asked.

“I’m going on an adventure, my lop-eared friend,” Sparki declared. “I was told you folks might have a lead for me to go to or a person to meet. But I’m no idiot! I wouldn’t dare ask you for a favor without giving you patronage first.”

The Nu Mou cocked their head. “Normally it is the patronage of men we seek, but in these desperate times, any patron is welcome. I suppose, while I don’t know of any special travelers beyond the ones who slew the Lightwarden, I can make it easier for you to meet more people.”

“Oh? And how would you do that?”

“I would design a glamour for you to disguise yourself as a person.”

Sparki goggled at the notion. “Count me in! That sounds awesome! What do I gotta do to help with that?”

“I require a certain type of very reflective fish from the river,” the Nu Mou said. “If you find me three, I can begin the process.”

“A very reflective fish…? Oh yeah! I know those! They were supposed to be my lunch, but I can find more easy-peasy.” Sparki stuck her nose into a saddlebag and flicked out three sparkling fish. “How’s this?”

The Nu Mou surveyed the offerings and nodded. “I applaud your preparation. These are indeed the right kind. Allow me to set them up, and we can get started.”

The three fish were laid out in a line and accompanied by gemstones and special herbs. The Nu Mou waved their wand, and a projected image shimmered over the fish. “I’ve decided to start with a dwarf as a base,” they said. “Or… something like one.”

People from the Source would have called the not-quite-a-dwarf a Lalafell.

“Huh, neat. Do I get to pick stuff out, or are you gonna choose for me?”

“I have preset options, but you are free to choose from them.”

The next half hour or so was spent grumbling about hairstyles, eye shapes and colors, and the precise angle of eyebrows. Eventually, Sparki chose her glamour: a Lalafell with black hair that faded to grey tied up in buns, deep blue eyes, and the distinct lack of pupils of a Dunesfolk.

“This is too cool,” Spari beamed. “There’s no option for me to keep my beard though. Can you fix that?”

The Nu Mou shook their head. “It would require more coding than I am capable of.”

“Coding?”

“Yes, coding. Magical programming. It’s an emerging field and nothing you need worry too much about as a front-end user.”

“Huh… okay.” Sparki shrugged and shook herself off. “So, how do I put it on?”

“I do that for you.” The Nu Mou uttered a spell in fae-speak, pointed their wand at Sparki, and in a flash of aether, she took the form of the pictured Lalafell.

“Oooooooh!” Sparki squealed as she marveled at her new form, flexing her fingers and tapping her toes on the ground. “This is wizardry! Literally! You bet I’m giving you another fish as a tip.”

The Nu Mou began to flail. “Please, we do not require or even accept tips! We Nu Mou ask for only our established patronages, no more, no less!”

Sparki stopped testing her glamour body out, dug around in what had been her saddlebag, and flung out an extra fish. “Take. the. Tip,” she grunted. “Either that or increase your prices. Don’t undersell yourself. Three shiny fish ain’t nothing compared to the awesomeness of this glam.”

“I-I wouldn’t feel comfortable raising my prices!” the Nu Mou sputtered.

“Fine, fine, just know what you’re worth, okay? And don’t be afraid to ask for coffee. Or tea. Or even a monthly payment of 500 gil!” Sparki looked to the sky. “Aw, crap, I can’t fly in this form- wait a second.” In a display unlike anything seen thus far, she made her wings clip through the back of her avatar. “There we go!”

The Nu Mou gasped in horror, clutching the extra fish close. “Y-you can’t request a glamour like that and then immediately break it!”

“Meh, I’ll figure out how to put ‘em back later,” Sparki muttered, ignoring how aghast the fae in front of her was. “Seriously? I owe you one. When I make it big, I’m gonna make sure you’re properly credited, just you wait!”

Before the Nu Mou could object, the amarofell took off, gwee-hee-heeing all the way.

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2021 #tip your nu mous

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

Text

Justice Society of America #6 (1993)

Weak as an asthmatic kitten in light!

Do cats get asthma? I'd hate for somebody to fact check and discover I once said an incorrect thing! My reputation as a staunch teller of ultimate truths is on the line here. Anyway, if it turns out cats can't get asthma, I was speaking euphemistically and you were too dumb to understand that. Dumby. I don't want to call my readers "dumby" but you remember that part about me being a staunch teller of ultimate truths? Well, sorry to reveal something your parents were too cowardly to confide to you. I was too busy contemplating how incredibly fucking cute and sweet a little coughing asthmatic kitten would be pay attention to the cover of JSA #6. But now that I've really looked at it, I'm confused as to why Doctor Mid-Nite is beating up zookeepers. I hesitate to assume the reason is that he's blind because that would probably be ableist. Maybe he was just molested by zookeepers as a young man. An aside: the family member I admire most on Facebook is the one who posts absolutely nothing about anything but every now and then unlocks a badge from Untappd.

Is this an historically accurate Nazi uniform? It looks like she's trying to make the shape of a swastika.

Ugh. I can't believe I just became one of those people who put "an" in front of "historically." It's weird how a little bit of side-boob can make me start thinking, "Were the Nazis really so terrible?" But this is a fictional world where they actually weren't that terrible! They even had a giant war Ferris wheel that would roll around ravaging the world and genociding people. Kind of exactly like a carnival, really. In the real world, Nazis were super bad and they are the villains of every action movie ever set from 1938 to, I'm assuming, 2021. I'm sure we're right around the corner from a Wicked-style Broadway musical from the perspective of Adolf Hitler where the audience learns that he wasn't really the bad guy the earlier protagonists made him out to be. If you don't want that to happen, you'll probably need to go back in time to murder John Gardner before he writes Grendel because I'm pretty sure that's where this whole "let's examine the life and motivations of the bad guy outside of the light of the previous protagonist's propaganda!"

I was thoroughly anti-Nazi when I began reading this comic book but these side-boob arguments are really winning me over.

How are the JSA going to win me back to their side?! They only have one woman on the team and Hawkgirl doesn't ever show any side-boob! I'm afraid America is about to fall and all I can think is, "Hee hee hee. Hee hee hee. Boobies." The Justice Society flies in to spout some patriotic garbage about liberty while The Flash beats up all the Nazis during the first third of the speech. I wonder if The Flash ever gets emotionally exhausted having to bear so much of the load of battling the bad guys. It's a good thing he's not one of those jerks you always wind up working with who never wants to do more work than the next guy so he always works as slowly as possible. But the problem in blue collar work is that most of the people you wind up working with are that guy! So their work output winds up being that of the lowest common denominator. Imagine if The Flash was one of those guys! He'd have to wait for Doctor Mid-Nite to throw a smoke bomb and fist fight a guy for five minutes before The Flash would take out his man in one second (after standing around for four minutes and fifty-nine seconds). The battle goes poorly for the Nazis which I'm elated to see because, you know, proud patriot here and all. Boo Nazis! Boo? Boob! Nazi side-boobs! Go Nazis! As the Nazis nearly defeated, they launch a huge bomb at the White House (which is where this fight is taking place because the Nazis are trying to kill Roosevelt).

"Look! Up in the sky! A noise!"

Yes, you perverts. That's the leg of the side-boob Nazi on the left and if I'd scanned a little bit more, you would have had a nice crotch shot. Sorry to disappoint you, horny nerds. Green Lantern lets the bomb explode on a big green patriotic shield because the Nazi's were too dumb to make the bomb out of two by fours. Wildcat says, "Yay!", as Roosevelt watches through a nearby window. His nurse, Nancy, approaches him slowly from behind. She pulls a Nazi pistol on him, full of Nazi bullets! It looks like the end! But then a bag of sand hits her in the side of the face and she forgets to pull the trigger as she says, "Gast! I'll...ooooh!" Then she dies, I guess? The Nazi story was being told to Jesse Quick by Alan and Jay. It was never reported because the American populace is too weak to hear certain news items. Why when we think about a population as a whole, we attribute all of the worst attributes to them? Cowardly, stupid, irrational. Why don't we think, "I would react fine to that news so I'm assuming everybody else would too." Instead, we simply assume everybody is a bigger and weaker jerk than we are. Weird that I'm as cynical as you can get but I'm somehow not as cynical as the average person? No, no! I'm more cynical! I just use my cynicism for good!

He didn't say that, Jesse. What he might be trying to express though is that coming down hard on criminals when much of the crime is driven by systemic problems resulting in an abundance of poverty for which the government takes no action to mitigate might be a bigger evil than the crime itself. Much of crime is a symptom of a bigger problem that is harder to fix so people ignore it and try to just hide the symptoms by putting them in jail.

Alan just doesn't quite have the words (or the real world experience of the 60s, 70s, and 80s because he was in Valhalla) to express how the constant lowering of taxes on the upper brackets of income have caused the slow destruction of the middle class by allowing CEOs and upper management to keep more of their money instead of reinvesting it into the business because they'd rather improve their business than give away 99% of their income after a certain point to the government. And by allowing them to keep that money, they stopped putting it into the business which meant salaries stagnated, pensions disappeared, and health care was no longer an automatic company benefit. I'm sure that's what he was getting at though. Jay's wife interrupts so we can finally see she exists six issues into the series. Alan's beard, Molly, also arrives. You might be wondering why "Jay's wife" is only "Jay's wife" but you shouldn't ask me that question. Ask the comic book who thinks I'm supposed to remember her name from whenever it was last mentioned, if at all. Maybe Linda? Let's just go with Linda. The Justice Society is on a ship because they're headed to Bahdnesia which doesn't allow plane travel in and out of its country. That's probably because air traffic control would be a nightmare with all the genies flying around. That was a joke but I bet it's the actual reason as well. Oh! It's Joan! Ted mentions it to Al after he gets tangled up in his deck chair while wearing an ice bucket on his head. I think Al might be having some old person cognition problems.

Nothing suspicious about a country run like a well-armed Applebee's.

Doctor Mid-Nite decides to check behind the scenes to see what's going on. The place is run like Disneyland so he enters the employee only backstage section to investigate. He's eventually attacked by some guards (see the cover!) and his story ends mid-fight. Meanwhile, Ted winds up climbing into a boxing ring to stop a fight that he believes is a huge mismatch. He knocks out the big guy even though the big guy doesn't necessarily mean he's the bad guy. Ted is basically interfering in a business transaction or, even worse, a staged event! Which means he climbs in the ring and begins beating up one of the actors. Guards also swarm him and he thinks, "What are these guys doing here?!" As if what he's doing is just fine and dandy. Didn't he hear the announcement about how nobody breaks the rules here? This is why! They get swarmed with violent guards! Justice Society of America #6 Rating: B-. Nothing says "The titular team's best days are behind them!" like a story where the only interesting thing that happens happens in a flashback. The whole cruise and island exploration part of the story was a big snooze. And it only ends in two members battling guards who are only doing their jobs to keep the JSA members from breaking the rules. Poor guards are going to get their asses whooped when they're only doing their job! I'm totally into the whole "I was just following orders" excuse thanks to the unbeatable side-boob argument.

#Justice Society of America #JSA #DC #DC Comics #Len Strazewski #Mike Parobeck #Mike Machlan

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ashleigh-luvs-14cats · 5 years

Text

A Rencounter Fic

OMG I MADE A 2ND CHAPTER!!! And in short amount of time (not really but short enough)!! This one is really special cuz @ice-cream-kitsunegirl and I work together on this one. She made an amazing intro (in my personal opinion). Once again both of our Ocs are here, I have her permission to use her character, I hope you will like it and please check out her blog if you like bnha x readers fics, I recommend reading her stuff. (She has more experience in writing than I do. XD)

Summary: Ashlen and Amy have been friends online for three months but never knew each other's real names or faces. They are from different countries but feel as if they are very close to one another. Ashlen is on an exchange program to UA High School to Class 1-A for a year. One year away from home in the U.S, will she get along with her new classmates? Why does one of them sound familiar?

Chapter 2: A Sense of Change

Meanwhile at UA…

“WHOO-HOO~!”

Amy whooped as she flew her broomstick up in the air, high enough to run a hand through the clouds, the same place where her head was as she grinned at the bright moonlight. It was the perfect amount of light that she would need to charge her gemstones for when she got down. She looked down to see their brightness…

She wasn’t alone though, she had her dear friend Shinsou riding with her on her broomstick, and he wasn’t crazy about how high they were. They were a little too high near the clouds, he knew that Amy was an adrenaline junkie, but how did he let her convince him to do crazy shit like this?

‘It’s like riding a bike she said… it will be fun she said…’ He thought to himself in dread, but he refused to show that he might have been just a little bit scared of falling since this relied purely on her telekinesis to let her fly.

“Hitoshi! We’re so freakin’ high! I’ve officially gotten better with my telekinesis, and now I can fly this thing anytime I want! Haha~! I want to get away, I wanna fllyyyyy away~.” She started singing as she floated about and let the wind blow in her face.

“You shouldn’t sing while we’re up here… you need to focus, so your telekinesis doesn’t break… Let’s just get back to the ground… I don’t think I really like fly-“ Shinsou nearly screamed when she suddenly descended, and he held on tightly to this broomstick as she whooped yet again, swerving a circle around the Heights Alliance building and potentially disturbing some of the other Class 1-A students with the heavy wind blowing through the windows from her fast flying..

As soon as she reached the ground, Shinsou was happy to be back on his feet where he wouldn’t fall to his death. “HA! Never gets old…” Amy laughed cheerfully as she got down off her broomstick, secretly amusing Shinsou despite what his expression indicated. “You’re setting witches back a hundred years by flying on a broomstick, do you know that?” He asked her sarcastically as she laughed a little bit, “Yeah, but it’s fun~. Now watch this! The moonlight is perfect for my gems~.” Amy sang-songed as she cheerfully went over to the gems she had collected to charge up for the perfect night.

They were gleaming, provided by the brightness of the moonlight that shined upon them, Amy stared at them in awe as she started to sing the incantation.

“Crystal, Gleam and Glow

Let your power return

The full moon shine so bright

Return your state of might.”

A low humming radiated from the glowing gemstones, and Amy’s grin grew and looked somewhat crazy from Shinsou’s point of view as she did her best to not let out a dramatic cackle, and instead just giggled happily. “AH! I can’t wait to utilize their power for later~ I’m just mad about gemstones.” She said excitedly, which Shinsou secretly found endearing. Even if he didn’t know why he was out here in the first place.

“Why am I out here again?” He asked in the most deadpan tone she had heard yet, and he wasn’t surprised to see Amy’s trademark smirk.

“Duh, Mr. Aizawa trusts you the most with me, I need you to back me up if I get in trouble, and on top of that… I need to make up being away from you for 4 years… do you know how sad I was without you?”

Amy explained, her smirk turning into a more somber smile, “But you had the other witches. You certainly think highly of them… a lot more than the other girls here, that’s for sure.”

It was true. Amy often mentioned her sisters from the coven at Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Girls at New Orleans to her friends and classmates. Her sisters were young witches that had been made public not long ago but were an independent heroine group that followed their own rules thanks to Amy’s Supreme Cordelia Goode demonstrating a heroic attitude despite the witches’ controversial, and some say questionable hero methods. Amy’s dear friends Zoe Benson, Queenie and Mallory lived there, and she missed them terribly, but frequently spoke to them online, along with a new friend she had made in the states. And sometimes she would stay up till the dead of the night talking to them, which had lately been forcing Bakugou to make her ‘go the fuck to bed.’

“I do… I mean the girls here are great… but… my sisters are… pretty badass.” Amy chuckled a little bit, but Shinsou couldn’t help but rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we hear you go on and on about how great they are… Except for Madison… nobody can stand her, I really can’t stand her.” Shinsou reminded her but made sure to remark on his intense dislike for Madison Montgomery, the bitchiest witch who had been ‘taking care of you’ and shadowing a very reluctant Aizawa on Cordelia’s request on most days. But nobody, not even sweet Izuku, Kirishima or Uraraka liked her.

Amy couldn’t help but giggle. Madison was more of her frenemy than anything, compared to Misty, Mallory, Zoey, and Queenie, but Madison was a hedonist who looked out mainly for herself and most definitely NOT a hero. Although, Madison did care about Amy, given that she took her on a wild bender after Bakugou was rescued and was being kind of a distant asshole afterward.

That proved that Madison DID care about her and had a heart underneath the stone-cold bitchiness. “Hee-hee, Madison’s a bitch. But… I can handle her. I mean… look at who I’m dating.” Amy shrugged a little bit and laughed, not fully noticing the look of annoyance on Shinsou’s face.

“But… as much as I talk about how great my sisters are… they aren’t you Hitoshi… they made me feel less lonely… but they couldn’t replace you at all…” She said softly with a warm smile at her childhood friend, who didn’t seem to expect that as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, willing himself to not blush.

“So sentimental…” He muttered a little bit in slight embarrassment as Amy giggled a little bit, unable to stop herself from hugging his arm affectionately as he sighed heavily in mild annoyance. Although, Amy’s hold loosened a little bit as her brown eyes widened ever so slightly, pausing momentarily as she stared upwards into the distance and looked around.

There was nothing in the area, but her senses were tingling and telling her something that she couldn’t really say. Yet, she felt nothing bad, which was surprising to her since one of Amy’s gifts allowed her to sense bad juju and of bad things yet to come. So naturally, Amy learned to be cautious, even if she wasn’t sensing the usual bad juju…

Which was a little bit alarming to her. She’d been used to bad juju, and for some reason, it seemed to be naturally drawn to her wherever she wants, whether it was at Robichaux or UA. She recalled many times she felt it, such as the attack on Robichaux, the Witch Hunters, the Axeman’s attack, the USJ incident, the Hero Killer’s attack at Hosu, to the Summer Field Training trip. All bad incidents, so why was this so different?

Amy wondered what this could have meant. Whatever it was, it was lingering in the atmosphere, and Amy was growing more curious about it by the minute.

As she thought to herself, Shinsou knew that the witch must have sensed something when she was uncharacteristically quiet, so he could tell she must have sensed something, “What is it, Amy? Is something the matter?” He asked her, a hint of concern in his tone as Amy chuckled and shook her head.

“Nothing really… I thought I sensed something but… now it’s gone… it’s nothing.” She replied with a smile and decided to quickly change the subject somehow.

Ding!

“Oh! Hello~. Wonder who that could be~?” Thankfully, one of your friends messaged you, which was the perfect distraction from the weirdness you felt.

Ally-luvs-14cats: Hi! What's up Ice cream!?

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: Oh hey girl! Just flyin’ about with my buddy. Almost died lol

Ally-luvs-14cats: Which one? The Zombie one or the Explodo boi?

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: HA. I haven’t killed Explodo Boi YET. But I’m with my dear Zombie Boy.

Shinsou looked over Amy's shoulder, "Who are you talking to? And who are you calling Zombie boy?"

Amy nearly jumped, and she flashed him a nervous, toothy grin, “Just a friend… Zombie Boy? No…” She laughed very nervously, “Nobody… definitely not you… I don’t think your zombie-like features make you look like a zombie…” She said, not convincingly at all as she tried to wave it off.

Ally-luvs-14cats: XD i bet he pissed his pants!

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: XD LOL I dunno. Maybe. I didn’t check my broom lolol

Ally-luvs-14cats: you better. Wouldnt want a nasty ride XD

"Who are they? Are they your friends from the coven?" Shinso asked, with a face of annoyance from the 'pissed' comment.

“Hee-hee… not this time… Madison probably would’ve said something like that. But no, this is my bud from the States... She ain’t a coven girl, well… that I know of, but she’s definitely a friend…” She clarified, for once not saying anything really snarky since she had grown to like this girl, she was pretty cool. A LOT cooler than Madison that’s for sure, the witch Amy was stuck with.

"You know, you really shouldn't be buddy-buddy with people online. They could be a creepy old man from Japan." He warned, he heard creepy tales of how disgusting villains kidnap kids over the internet.

Amy almost chuckled, but Shinsou’s concern touched her. “Hitoshi… I’ve already killed two creepy old men back at New Orleans. I can easily kill another. I’m good at killing creepy old men… I LIKE killing creepy old men.” She smiled a little too wide, intentionally making herself look a bit bloodthirsty, which… she kind of was. “But seriously… I trust this person. Everything I’ve read from her doesn’t strike me as suspicious. No bad juju from her.” This time, that was a bit more reassuring since this girl so far didn’t give Amy any bad vibes. "And besides, we haven't said our real names and where exactly we live, just our countries."

Ally-luvs-14cats: ugh my morning was rough XC

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: uh-oh. O.O What’s the T Christine? What happened?

Ally-luvs-14cats: let’s just say i got my ass kicked by one of my older sisters...mannn i thought today was the day im going to win! 😗

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: Eh?! You didn’t win?! Awwww man… well hey, you can do it next time! This time strike when she least expects it! Go all ‘Surprise Bitch!’ on her! Works every time! 😆

Ally-luvs-14cats: XD if only that were easy. I totally went all out! Even used my special move. But she's just too dang good.. unfortunately the next time will be in a year though…

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: DAYUM! >.< That’s almost like when I didn’t pass the Seven Wonders… I mean, most witches usually die when they don’t pass but I just couldn’t do any Divination… I feel your pain though girl… :/ I can’t beat Madison… that bitch is cray-cray… but hey, you can try again next year at least! ;)

"She only knows that you're a witch?" Shinsou asked as they approach Amy's dorm room.

Amy tried not to look so obvious, but that was just in her nature unless she was trying to manipulate someone. “Yup… that’s… that’s all she knows… she definitely doesn’t know all my friends’ names… just the girls from the coven…” She muttered, not being discreet at all. But… Amy was a risk-taker by nature, it was something she needed to seriously work on.

Ally-luvs-14cats: Also I got some news! Like a future warning...

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: Oh? Future warning eh? I wanna hear that T.

Ally-luvs-14cats: pfft..anyways yea im going to be M.I.A. im going to be moving sooo i wont be able to talk to you for a few days...ill be moving to a new country annnd guess where it will be!?

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: AWWW! >.< Booo! Oh well… will miss u gurl~. Have fun with moving! Aaaaaaaaand… France? Canada? New Orleans~? … Norway?

Ally-luvs-14cats: PFFT! New Orleans isnt a country! XD Also none of those are correct btw..

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: XD Yeah but New Orleans is AWESOME!! Aaaand… Taiwan? … London? Paris? Maybe Tokyo?

Ally-luvs-14cats: Ding Ding! It is JAPAN!~

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: O.O JAPAN?! HEY THAT’S WHERE I’M AT! GIIIIIRL~.

Ally-luvs-14cats: YEA! ill be going to this like fancy school for an exchange student program...ugh i hope this school wont be filled with snobs like the ones here..¬_¬

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: UGH Tell me about it… I love the lot I’m stuck with, but Robichaux had cooler ladies. Now the guys here though… ;) Ooh la la girl… you’d love the guys here…… I’m licking my lips as we speak~

Ally-luvs-14cats: >u< oh my gosh! Lol! Man i hope soo...i do have a thing for Asian boys..

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: They are only some of the most beautiful men on the planet~. And these guys sure are… I have a picture of this dude I’m dating, took it when he wasn’t aware of it at the pool. Among other photos he doesn’t know I secretly have of him~. Including one of him while he was sleeping... XD

"Is that so? Amy.." A voice came up behind her and almost came out as a growl.

“AHHH!!” Amy’s eyes widened, she managed to read her most recent message, but her furious boyfriend had kind of distracted her as she jumped and screamed when he was getting too close and in a snap, she teleported at least 5 feet away to text as quickly as she could.

Ally-luvs-14cats: XD Well i gttg..I need some breakfast after that defeat..and who knows maybe we'll see other. So bye!

Ice-cream-FoxGirl: Great! Talk to u later! Can’t wait to see you! I’ll show u pics when u do! Girl bai!! I’m gonna try and not die now XD :3

Ally-luvs-14cats: Oops someone found out something XD sorry but...you are on your own!

Ally-luvs-14cats had left the chat!

"AMY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

Not many things scared Amy and not even Bakugou, but his rage was enough to raise the hairs on her back as she took off running. “No! Go drink some tea or something and ‘leaf’ me alone~!” If she was going to die, she was going to go out on a really lame pun.

Shinsou couldn’t really do anything except watch his best friend and her dumb boyfriend chase each other. He probably should have stopped Bakugou with his quirk, but… Amy wouldn’t learn anything if he did. That’s what he told himself at least.

That’s what she gets for the piss comment…

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homesception · 6 years

Text

May 31, 2013 - part 1: wherein Lobac eats a cookie.

To be fair, it has been like two hundred years since my last update. That’s a pretty good nap. Just means I’m all the more rested to work on new stuff, right? I mean, I need to keep a spritely pace up if I still plan on catching up to Lobac’s liveblog before said liveblog catches up to the comic. Which for sure is still an actual thing at all, and not a bit of exclusive humor between friends.

Last time Lobac was getting into some theory crafting and analysis of the classpect system. I didn’t have much to say about that at the time, particularly not much that wouldn’t qualify as spoilers, so iirc I was mostly just responding with random thoughts and video links, half of which are dead now. There was a bit left over looking at the troll’s perster names, which was also good stuff, but lacking anything coherent to say about it, I’ll just gloss past the rest of that post, apart from:

Lobac said:

Thank you all for sticking around °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

As if you could ever get rid of me. ~{@PQ}~

Moving on, we rejoin the comic with PM visiting the Black Queen to retrieve the mysterious GREEN PACKAGE, which had been impounded by agents of the Black Court as a result of a traffic violation. The Black Queen cuts an imposing figure, and Lobac is, of course, duly imposed.

later, Lobac said:

Are those… tentacles ( ´ _ ｀) I thought only the imps were affected by the prototypings?

OH SHIT OH SHIT THAT LOOKS SO COOL HOT DAMN (゜▽゜) Wowow look at her joints! Look at all the carapace-y stuff going on there!

These days, Lobac’s soft spot for this particular sort of shiny, black, possibly betentacled monster-type aesthetic is well documented. I’m pretty sure she would have loved the black queen’s design even if it wasn’t just objectively cool as hell, but that certainly doesn’t hurt. I’m kind of sad that we never got a proper fight scene out of this particular version of her.

That’s not a spoiler is it? I’m pretty sure that’s not a spoiler.

Yeah, the random objects the kids threw in the general directions of their seizuresprites are directly affecting the final boss. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG HERE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

I don’t see the problem here. Nothing the kids could possibly put in those sprites could be at all unsettling or dangerous.

haa haa. hee hee. hoo hoo.

Her face is so weird though It’s Jaspers-shaped, and her eyes are constantly narrowed, I can’t even tell whether it’s in distaste or amusement

Why not both?

Andrew sure is proud of that hand’s close-up She’s not even dramatically pointing she’s literally just saying “yeah I dunno anything about that kinda shit you best go down there and ask my pretty princess, I mean, subordinate”

It is a pretty great hand, honestly. I think this particular image gets called back to a few more times yet.

Yeah Rose! You go and fulfill your as of yet unclear vaguely Seering-related destiny

Yeah, Rose! Get on that, maybe!

ROSE NO YOU ARE 13 THAT IS GONNA TASTE AWFUL TO YOU Heh I legitimately don’t know whether her mom would be proud of or disappointed in her if she could see her now Is this an act of defiance or emulation Just silly teenage antics, probably, but I’d like to think she misses her

Rooooooose Rose nooooooooooooooooo （ ´ω｀） Ehehe I love how the artstyle turns super silly to reflect how upset/surprised she is

These two panels constitute one of the most iconic funny moments in the comic. It works really well. Shoot, I should have done the post topper-edit based on these, huh? Oh, well. The one I already did took like four hours, mostly due to my extreme rustiness, so I’m not going back now.

Otherwise, I also like to think of Rose missing her mom here. Maybe not admitting it to herself, but still. I also still ascribe to the “everything Mom ever did was 110% unironic, Rose made up the whole passive aggressive conflict between them in her head, her mom wasn’t passive agressive she was just a bonkers drunk rich lady” headcannon that I think I spoke about ages ago in this very liveblog.

Anyway, yeah, this is both a hilarious joke and a fantastic little character moment for Rose. Another contributing factor to Rose being my big early favorite with a seemingly insurmountable head start in the ‘best character’ race.

Actually, lately, since the end of the comic, she’s been gaining ground again for me? I mean, one of the trolls definitely surpassed her for most of my Homestuck fan life, but... eh, whatever. There’s no way I can getting into how my feelings about those characters developed over the comics life without being way more spoilery than even I’ve already been, so that kind of talk will have to wait for later. Even if later means ‘years from now’ or ‘never’.

BOO FUCKING YAH, IT’S THE WHITE QUEEN Or Windswept Questant, for now She’s also as of yet uncorrupted by the kids’ silly sprite shenanigans

Lobac had been waiting for this reveal for a while, I think.

PM: Command John to put the carved tablet into a pyxis.

You follow the command telling you to command John to put the carved tablet in the pyxis and type, “John, put the carved tablet into the pyxis.” You successfully do that, and he successfully does that too. Everyone is friendly and cooperative.

Ah yes, you so rarely get this kind of friendly cooperation from narrators these days

It was a rather uncommonly tidy sequence, for this comic.

Shit I just remembered those typing hands we saw when trying to name Jack, the reader is like a physically present entity??? Maybe???

What prompted this thought? The earlier black queen hand image hanging in your head, then a bit about narrators entering text, and that old bit just pops up? It’s cool how brains work, making intuitive connections and all that.

What if we eventually zoom out to reveal a human exile commanding everyone. We’ve only been watching that human mess around up until now. The real story begins when they just suddenly go “whelp that was kinda fun. gotta look for food tho” at an incredibly dramatic moment.They turn away from the console. And then we watch them slump through the desert for thousands of pages and their journey of introspective self-discovery is the actual story. Yes.

Shit, Lobac just predicted the whole narrative! No point in continuing this liveblog, I guess. “[#P%]t

Well, obviously this means that WV has an uncanny knack for distances and PM has one for sounds AR can probably track down crimes by their scent He’s like McGruff the Crime Dog, but a little less fluffy

I used to love McGruff the Crime Dog. Until I grew up and realized he was a tool of THE MAN.

dear gOD SHE REALLY IS PUTTING JACK IN DRESSES (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ He and Slick are basically the same person, right? Oh man he is gonna stab the shit out of her one of these days

~{%|%}~

Jack Noir, more like JACK NO. NO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE MURDERING PEOPLE AND FROLICKING THROUGH THE STREETS WITH YOUR ASSHOLE CREW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS PATHETIC o(`д´ ｡)

I’d say this is a “be careful what you wish for” moment, but I think Lobac knew exactly what she was doing here.

Ticket? Oh, this thing. Ha, ha, look at that, you are holding a ticket. How did that get in your hand? It belongs on the desk with the others. No, you are not here to pay a parking ticket. You explain to the frightening man that you are here to pick up that green parcel.

GIVE ME A C! GIVE ME A U! GIVE ME A T AND I AND E! sheeEEEE’S A CUTIE!!!!

Honestly, they’re all cuties. the cuteness of the entire cast, even the villains mostly, in both visual depiction and personality, really is a big selling point of the whole comic.

There was a time when I wasn’t super into cute things. I was never viscerally opposed to cuteness, never when through a virulently anti-girly-stuff phase, but these days I’m MUCH more into things being cute. I just like cute characters! Sure, I like things that are somber and spooky, but the best is when they’re somber and spooky AND super cute!

Like, Hollow Knight. That whole game is like exactly my favorite aesthetic these days. Sad and morose and dark and adorable.

But more often than not homestuck still comes pretty close to that ideal. You just want to hug the shit out of all of these doofuses, a few stab wounds here or there be damned. Speaking of stab wounds...

WHOOPS TENSION. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT. I DO NOT ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO START KILLING PEOPLE OK

Maybe Lobac didn’t know what she was asking for earlier.

Wait, the crowns, what the fuck, he wants her to KILL THE KING AND QUEEN??? SHE’S JUST A MAIL LADY ヾ(´･-･｀)ノ”

How does he even know she’s desperate enough to kill people just to get one package?

The PARCEL MISTRESS departs with her mission of double agency. You wonder if she’ll actually be so foolish as to attempt to uphold her end of the lopsided bargain. You make a policy of handing out a REGISWORD and a HITLIST to just about everyone who enters your office. But you never think anyone’s actually going to GO THROUGH with it.

What a phenomenal asshole That explains that

pretty much. As for the box itself...

Yeeeeah you’re not actually gonna show me so, go ahead, taunt me, get it over with

PFFFFPFPFPFPFFF WHAT SOMETHING COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS APPARENTLY? NOT AS RIDICULOUS AS HIS FACE THO. Magnificent asshole cutie

Hahah, \[&P%]/

Anyway, at this point the action cuts back to the kids, and that seems a good a time as any to take a break. I could just save this as a draft and finish the rest of lobac’s post later? I mean, then I wouldn’t have to take extra time for another panel edit? But I kind of want to post something now, so I guess well do this one in parts again. part 2 scheduled for, let’s be ambitious and say may 2022

How did I ever use to have the time for this blogging shit? I’ve been working on this for like six hours, and only got like a third of the way through one update? I guess I was just younger then.

I’m so old now. Time just gets away from me.

And my back hurts all the time.

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #homestuck liveblog liveblog #lobac #chaos chaos #i can do anything #apparently tumblr mobile displays #this neatly and cleanly formatted post #as a nightmare mishmash of different font sizes #and text styles #with no particular marcation for quotes #oh well #if you're 'reading' this on mible #i'm sorry #it looks fine on desktop I promise you

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sailor-cresselia · 6 years

Text

Zi-O 14: Raw viewing

Hm. Hmmm. HMMM.

omoshiroi.

Here’s the liveblog for Zi-O 14, pre-subs.

These are apparently taking me several hours to watch now, since I’m taking notes live, and with checking the wiki to get names right and backing up frequently to check images and figure out what I can actually hear. Whoops.

(WOW that phrase comes in handy.)

Woz, where’d you go – oh, so the clock’s not just some sort of Aesthetic Background. It’s actually there.

Okay, I can’t tell if he’s pissed because Sougo’s kinda dead, or because he’s not the reason Sougo’s kinda dead, but Geiz is pissed.

Aw. I think he might actually care.

“Can’t you just tell them that I’m right here?”

“They wouldn’t believe me.”

Urgh, I can’t actually get what they’re saying. I THINK it’s along the lines of:

Takeru: “So, I’m the only one who can see you, and it ‘might’ be because of this.” He pulls out the Ghost watch.

Sougo: “Ohhhh. So Geiz is headed to see the past you.”

Takeru: “Wait, what? The past?!” (oh god no not time travel again!)

(Re: the opening)

HEY WAIT.

Apparently, episode 11 was the last time that the final shot of the Opening had that uncomfortable ‘burning page reversing itself while grainy footage of Zi-o on his bike’ sequence. Episode 12 turned it to being a straight shot of Zi-o Riding his bike straight at the camera between two jets of flame. I only noticed watching 14, just now, but huh. I thought the only changes that had happened so far were the shots of the Time Jackers updating.

I’ll have to check on that later.

Ohh… Another Ghost immediately went after the crane operator… that’s really heartbreaking.

(Geiz, bud, what’s with the terrible green-screen? Your transformation’s usually better done than that.)

Hora: Come on, we need to kick Geiz’s butt in the past.

Tsukasa: Pft. Plebe. I can travel on my own, thanks. (proceeds to open a dimensional portal of his own)

Thank you for not summoning the hoodies this time, Geiz.

Enter Ryuki!Decade… who promptly changes to Ghost!Decade… oh, this could be good. (I paused mid transformation to write, mind you.)

The rules of time travel say that only one version of a rider’s powers can exist at a time. Somehow, the Another Riders count as this, but the Ride Watches don’t, which bugs me. But now… We have Another Ghost present, Geiz is using the Ghost Watch, and Decade is about to use the Ghost Card.

How will this play out… (spoiler alert to 2:00 am samantha from 3:30 am samantha: it made absolutely no difference. drat.)

SURE, you’ll let TSUKASA be spooky, but what about Takeru, huh? HUH?!?

Okay, so Geiz just summoned Musashi and Edison. Another Ghost has Robin Hood and Newton. Tsukasa got Billy the Kid and… um. I think that’s Beethoven? Yup. Beethoven.

OUCH. Geiz’s losing streak continues, with a distressing looking slash from the Gan Gun Saber, followed by a pair of Rider Kicks from Ghost!Decade and Another Ghost.

That red-and-black aesthetic of Another Ghost’s Emblem behind his kick though… Mm. Yes. This is still such a good Another Rider look. … and actually, this is the first time since Another Build and Another Ex-aid that we’ve seen this much of an Another Rider using their bases powers, isn’t it? Build was making bottles and using them, and Ex-aid was summoning bugster mooks. Okay, that’s admittedly actually a Bugster thing, but he was also generating game areas, so it still counts.

Hm. No sequence breaking for us, it would seem. Decade just wiped the Ghost Watch, turning it blank… and tossed Geiz the Decade Watch before taking off.

Interesting.

Or we could have some compeletely different sequence breaking, seeing as how Takeru had to pilot the time mazine for Sougo. Yanno, due to incorporeality. THEY landed just before Mika’s brother dies, as opposed to Geiz landing just after.

I hate to say this, but Nani The F*ck? So clearly, inherently magical Takeru can also force shove objects, because he just deflected the beams before they could hit either Mika or her brother. So now he can’t become Another Ghost, which sends Sougo back to his body… in 2018. While 21-year-old!Takeru is now in 2015. Where spooky!18-year-old!Takeru is supposed to also be.

Oh deary. So Heure pulls out the blank watch he was going to use to make Another Ghost, and summons a bunch of Ganma mooks with it. Fine, good, he’s ticked, makes sense. They attack 21!Takeru. Fine, fine.

Makoto shows up, asking why Takeru isn’t transforming.

He’s asking 21!Takeru – who, being from an altered timeline, does not remember being Ghost (allegedly).

“Oh, right, I’m a Kamen Rider. Makoto, let’s go!”

Mind you, Makoto is played by the same actor as always, and clearly neither of these men have aged a much more than a day since 2015, since they still look pretty much identical. This is for the best, because otherwise we’d have to wonder why Makoto doesn’t catch that suddenly Takeru (who should not be aging in 2015) looks bit older than he ought to.

((Takeru: Oh, man, I’m out of practice, last time I did this was December, one year ago for me, two years from now… I might be stuck here… ~oh well~ ~not like I haven’t gone off script like thirty different ways before~))

I don’t know what just happened in the hospital (2018) but I do not like it. That was very uncomfortable to watch. I can get that the whole Sougo-going-back-to-his-body thing just was undone, since Another Ghost exists again, but. What was Woz explaining? And he didn’t move when he said ‘waga maou.’ That was… that wasn’t a thought sound effect for that, the ‘stylization’ for thoughts and narrative are about the same, and they aren’t as faint as that. That felt like… idk, a telepathy thing?

~It’s not Ghost without sister issues~

Takeru: (oh no oh no I think we pulled it off? Maybe? Oh no Makoto’s looking at you say something)

Takeru: Uh, okay, uh, hey, Makoto, give the other Takeru my regards.

Makoto: ???

(exit: stage future)

Geiz is worried. That is a worried Geiz. And a stressed Sougo. And an uncle who is definitely faking his usual, already awkward laughter.

Sougo’s uncle has too many dishes ready to not have known there were extra people coming.

(Hee, Narita’s got Akari’s Shiranui cannon! And they mentioned her by name! Eee!)

TEAM WORK. THIS IS THE BEST THEMATIC TEAMWORK YESSSSS.

Sougo using the Ex-Aid watch with his mech is cool enough – it gets the same hammers that he does.

And then Geiz comes in with Genm. AND THE PURPLE WARP PIPES YESSSSS!

Is that. That’s the Cross-z watch.

MECHA BUILD AND CROSS-Z UGH YES.

Bottle boyfriend mecha RIDER KICK!

Hm. More mook summoning, by Another Ghost this time, ala Ex-Aid and OOO.

Pft-ahahaha.

I love Tsukasa’s reaction to Woz’s speech.

Tsukasa: What. What are you doing.

And Woz just growls.

NEAT. I knew that the Decade Armor let Zi-o get the Mid-forms of the Legend Riders, but I didn’t think of how that screen variant of the helmet could come into play with it. It shows the Zi-o-with-Decade color scheme before he changes, and when he puts in the Build watch… it’s shuffling, kind of like a character select screen – or cards being dealt. You can see Ex-Aid most clearly going by, but I can tell there were others.

Welcome back, RabbitTank Sparkling!

And Tsukasa just tells Woz to shut up and grabs his book. Was he always like this? Because I’m liking the snark.

I don’t know what this sword is called but I really really like it. Not only are the Ex-aid sound effects back in English, but it let him summon Max Flare, Funky Spike, and Midnight Shadow’s tires! (fangirl squeal)

Welcome back, Grateful!

“Why did I give him my watch? Eh. Thought it’d be interesting.”

(I think that’s about what he was saying? Ish? Approximately?)

Hang on, that screen? The mask for Decade is a Zi-o variant, but RabbitTank Sparkling and Grateful are their usual appearances.

And now Geiz has someone he wants to punch even more than he does Sougo or Woz.

So, overall...

Interesting indeed, Tsukasa. Interesting indeed.

#kamen rider zi o #kamen rider ghost #kamen rider decade #sailorcressy says #wait when did i learn to liveblog?

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tales-from-exo-planet · 6 years

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COLORADO || PATHCODES VOL. II

ACT I. Length - 7,901 Mood - Somber Pairing - Kyungsoo x Reader “The more I step forward, the deeper it becomes I’m enticed and I’ve lost myself I’m falling in endlessly” - “Kingdom Come” by Red Velvet- ———————————————————————-

-the first weekend of September “I can't tell you all how much we appreciate you all for joining us for our second annual farm to table harvest festival. Please continue to enjoy your evening. Let's welcome back to the stage, Park Chanyeol,” your voice soared over the din of conversation, laughter, and clinking of silverware in the communal atmosphere as you came to the close of your opening remarks for the second half of the evening.

With your short statement now complete, you nodded to Chanyeol who was seated, and patiently looking on at the center of the stage overlooking the vast orchard where the fall farm to table harvest festival so called Return to Terra festival was being held. Chanyeol looked over the crowd, as though he were a minstrel surveying the scene to determine what piece would best suit it's tastes and fancies.

For each weekend the Terra Festival, you'd organized a rotation of local farmers within whose orchards you arranged round white banquet dining tables for consumers and festival spectators to gather facing an open platform stage. Flanked amongst the trees and gardens of which yielded the sought after high quality produce of the current season, were broad marquees shielding chefs, illustrators, and other cooperating artisans and their equipment from the elements. Each evening of the Terra festival opened with consumers being greeted by the host farmer and their family and invited to pick their produce. Upon selecting their desired fruit or vegetable, they were escorted to the chef's tent where a list of entrees, and desserts were displayed for consumers to choose from. While they waited for their meal to be prepared, they were encouraged to watch the preparation, to participate in its preparation during a master class, or to peruse the marquees within the orchard venue. When their meal was completed, a banquet table awaited them to enjoy their meal fully while accompanied by a live performance.

Chanyeol sat up a little straighter at the sound of his name being called, somehow lengthening his frame just from his waist to appear even taller than he already was. With his Taylor acoustic on his lap, and guitar pic clamped between his canines, he gave you a nonchalant smile, the corner of his mouth raised only slightly. From what you observed he was in his element and had been for the past couple weeks of festival celebrations he'd performed for here in Colorado Springs.

The crowd greeted Chanyeol eagerly, whooping and whistling in pleasure at the mention of his return. He gave an even bigger grin to the audience, standing to acknowledge them and to thank them for their support before taking his seat upon the rosewood stool in leather onyx jeans, and a plain black tee. A darkwash oversized denim jacket adorned his shoulders, the sleeves rolled up to frame his elbows revealing tattoos lining his forearms; the collar of his jacket creased neatly beneath his ears. The floppy brimmed hat he'd worn initially during his first performance of the evening rested on his seat at the table, but his round wire burgundy wine glasses remained on, balancing the brilliant chocolate and sable of his eyes. And with his pic now transferred to the fleshy slit between his pointer and middle fingers, Chanyeol adjusted the mic with his large capable hand to meet his lips.

“Good evening, and welcome back to the second half. As _________ stated, it is an honor to be here with you all again tonight. Colorado Springs you've been so so kind. Let's also give our host of this wholesome event to _________ and the host family without whose vision this event would not be possible to manifest.” Chanyeol paused, directing his attention where you stood on the open platform. “Thank you once again to all the local farms who have opened their homes to us and local restaurants who have collaborated with these local farmers to feature the most incredible menu I have seen in quite some time. It is through collective community partnerships like these that we have opportunities for growth and expansion within our local, nationwide and global community. Because of what we’ve started here, our vision is catching like wildfire all across the world. Thank you for investing in the Pathcodes. We hope to be able to continue to serve our community for all the years to come. Once again let's thank our host and host family,” Chanyeol called out rousing the crowd to erupt in thunderous applause in you and your family’s honor as you turned to acknowledge your patrons.

A chorus of barks and cheers welcomed you as you returned to your dining table at the center of the host orchard. “Chanyeol is killing it tonight,” ________ (Lyon reader) whispered to you as you sat beside her. “Yes! He's been on fire lately, And we are killing it tonight too. Look at this place! I can't deny that I was worried about the setup for this event but as always ________ (Lyon reader) you've outdone yourself. I hope next week’s harvest festival will be just as successful,” you spoke to her quietly as her baby girl started to gurgle in delight as she reached once again for 먹물 and 후추. The small inky black and pepper gray puppies were seated on the wood of the raised platform between you and _______ (Lyon reader) who held her daughter Yun Hee in her lap.

________(Lyon reader) blushed slightly at the praise, a gesture that baffled you especially at her level of consistently acclaimed success.

“It was certainly a team effort,” she said, smiling gratefully.

As you reminded the crowd just a moment ago, the Terra festival was in its second year of festivities having started the first year being hosted at your young family farm you began and unveiled with your husband Kyungsoo. Your farm was open to the general public on weekdays, weekends and most holidays. On your location you had a small bakery and cafe that created a simple menu from the ingredients found in your garden. For all those interested you hosted nutrition and cooking classes for school age children, new parents and as part of rehabilitation services for those recovering from eating disorders. You partnered with local therapeutic offices to host specialized and purposeful therapeutic interventions to achieve a wide range of outcomes in order to consistently demonstrate to the local and federal government just as much as the general public that the change you and Kyungsoo hoped to inspire with your extension of the Pathcodes was sustainable and holistic.

That rationale, fed to you by _______ (New Almaty Reader) after she detailed viable markets for you and Kyungsoo to explore based on your current occupations. During your most recent planning meeting during concurrent holidays, _______ (New Almaty Reader) was introduced to the Pathcodes board and like her former classmate _______(Berlin Reader) as it was explained in her introduction, she wasted no time in setting up personal debriefs and interviews with each Pathcodes board member to discuss market needs and opportunities.

Per her advice you also sponsored seminars that featured environmentalists and innovators in humanitarian efforts focused on solving the world hunger crisis from local colleges, and universities. During that long holiday weekend hosted in Almaty at Jongdae’s new home, you and Kyungsoo sat for many interviews to discuss how the framework you created could be transferred and applied to fit the socioeconomic needs of communities across the world. “Minseok has big plans for this business. Everything has to be ironed out,” ______ (New Almaty Reader) had explained as she invited you into the studio office Jongdae had prepared for individual interviews.

It was your desire that if there was genuine interest from other companies that Kyungsoo or a member of your Pathcodes team would travel to the destination and host the very first festival in the earliest part of the harvest season and once trained, the designated community leader would continue the festival until the end of the late harvest season.

To garner even more public interest you also suggested an arts and illustration exhibit at the very first festival last year and featured young artists from the community as well as providing classes, and seminars for all interested. “Art, a hearty meal, great music and good company...that's our contribution to the Pathcodes,” Kyungsoo had declared while sampling some of the refreshments prepared by the caterers Jongdae hired for the holiday.

“And great stories Kyungsoo. Not just illustrations darling but film to inspire intellectual conversation,” you reminded your beloved husband and he blushed at the mention of including one of his sincere lifelong passions. Something his brothers latched onto immediately.

“Kyungsoo, darling,” Baekhyun sang under his breath.

Minseok guffawed at the way Baekhyun sighed in similar demure heartfelt sentiment as Kyungsoo who was beginning to fan himself while looking on at the notes from your most recent interview rapidly as if he could shoo their eyes away.

“Darling, darling,” you heard Jongdae echo from the hall as he returned with the next batch of pamphlets signaling a shift down the itinerary of the day’s events. Kyungsoo laughed throatily, his eyes closed as if he was realizing all too late that he should have warned you about terms of endearment.

“Ahem, remember. The purpose of the Pathcodes is to establish a boundless market. While you are the original seed, the Pathcodes are meant to survive us. No, not survive. Surpass us. It will immortalize us. Our collective dreams will be embedded within the code of this framework, and all those who share that dream are naturally gifted the ability to access the Pathcodes. Its goals will be protected as long as our vision remains pure...it’s a lot of lofty language I know...but it will make sense in time. Let’s get started with our second segment, shall we?” ________ (New Almaty Reader) proposed, as she tidied the stack of pamphlets before passing them down the table.

And so this year, Kyungsoo traveled back home to South Korea with his father, and brother not only for Chuseok but also to begin the next level of the Pathcodes. He would replicate the model created here at your home in Colorado Springs and his father would host the cooking classes at their ancestral family farm and his brother with the help of the rest of your Pathcodes team would assist in the premier in tandem with film festivals like the Daegu Independent Short Film Festival in August, the EBS International Documentary Festival in August, and the many film festivals occurring throughout the harvest season.

The timing of the premiere worked out brilliantly for Kyungsoo who was also featuring in at least two of the films entered for some festivals. That news alone brought quite a lot of intrigue to the Terra festival and did ______ (Marseille reader) a huge favor in marketing the event. Regardless the event required almost all hands on deck meaning that your assistance back home in Colorado Springs was without the rank and file of the main “department heads” of the Pathcodes. Baekhyun and Jongdae were also there in support to provide live music as Chanyeol was also doing here. Minseok, Sehun, Jongin, Suho, and eventually Chanyeol also would be returning home for Chuseok festivities and to support Kyungsoo. Yixing and Tao were also currently there in support of Kyungsoo and would return to their hometowns for mid-Autumn festivals. The lure of prints of your illustrations only served to bolster the diversity of your audience here in Colorado Springs. While people of all ages were familiar with your work, there was a significant group of teenagers who were hoping to get your signature on their latest copy of the graphic novel you just illustrated. Most of your audience were young families, their children toddling along with small baskets adorned with an array of hued ribbons, the handle of their baskets just wide enough to fit their chubby palms, their baskets containing one or two fruits or vegetables in that were in harvest, that rolled from one side of their basket to the other as they loosely swung their arms.

Seeing all of the children holding their baskets reminded you of one of your favorite farm to table harvest festival and art exhibits in the month of October where unlike the August, September or November harvest day festivals was themed. Everyone came dressed in costume that ranged from endearing to comical to spooky to ingenious.

For today’s festival in the early days of September, everyone was dressed uneventfully casual. You wore your hair in loose waves whose tips graced the top of your shoulders. To keep yourself warm, you wore an autumn squash corduroy dress underneath a pale pink pin striped oversized coat, and at your feet were your cashmere velvet ankle boots.

________(Lyon reader) and her daughter were casual chic as per their usual. They were an adorable matching pair in their baby blue and powder white striped Supreme overalls, with a soft cushy white hooded sweatshirt, their feet adorned with matching powder white Nikes.

_________(Lyon reader) had been fussing over her daughter from the time you picked her up at the airport until just a moment ago.

Because Yun Hee was born here in the States and seen by specialists stateside instead of home in Lyon as her mother and father had hoped, _________(Lyon reader) was much more inclined to bring her daughter once every six months during the Fall and once just before her birthday to do regular checkups in addition to check ups done by her standard pediatrician back home in Lyon. It seemed like an extensive process and perhaps a little overboard but you understood her desire to have a second opinion especially with the overall health and developmental concerns both her parents had for her.

For all of her setbacks though Yun Hee was full of life and spirit.

You chuckled to yourself now as you listened to her mother chiding her once again.

The tone she took reminded you of her admonishing her fiancé.

Like father, like daughter.

“Yun Hee! I’m so sorry _______” she apologized again to you as if there were people watching you and waiting for you to be silent.

But she couldn't be more wrong.

In the orchard where you were, in the main dining area, there were people milling all around talking to one another and minding their own children. People were enjoying their meals meticulously crafted by the chefs and many more were tuned into Chanyeol up on stage. The air itself was buzzing and brimming with life.

But she apologized again and again for her daughter’s excited squeals as she reached to touch the fairy lights wrapped around the lanterns which served as centerpieces on each table.

You shook your head at her, smiling encouragingly as you patted her arm. “She's doing just fine ________ (Lyon reader),” you said to her alone in a tone meant just for her.

She still sighed and held her daughter closer as if to protect her from eyes that still wouldn't understand.

You patted her hands which held her baby girl to her chest, turning once to gently pat the heads of your 먹물 and 후추 to quiet them both down so you could all listen to Chanyeol’s rendition of “Magic.”

“Call it magic Cut me into two And with all your magic I disappear from view And I can't get over Can't get over you Still I call it magic You're such a precious jewel”

You swore that you heard someone sigh aloud and you couldn't help but laugh quietly to yourself.

Maybe even a chorus of sighs.

A sudden chuckle beside you had you laughing even harder when you realized that it was ______ (Lyon reader) that was laughing. You had both anticipated those reactions after you confided in her about the frenzied phone calls. Like yourself, Chanyeol had his own fan base of admirers that joined the harvest festivities when it was announced that he was once again part of the live entertainment line up.

While the festival was a public event, you'd had quite a few people ask if there was an opportunity to meet the live performers because they were willing to pay. They even attempted to offer you exorbitant unsolicited amounts when calling your office line.

You hadn't mentioned it to _____ (New Almaty Reader) yet for fear that she would not only approve but demand that a high-touch meeting was made part of the festivities.

It gave you anxiety just thinking about it.

Chanyeol descended the stairs after announcing the next act; a contemporary jazz group newly signed to his blossoming label Metamorphosis Records.

Before coming to sit beside you all, Chanyeol stood to the side of the stage to watch over his progenies turning to look at the crowd and back at the young men and women on stage who were assembling their instruments with the aid of light footed stage hands before beginning their own soulful rendition of Jamie Cullum’s “Pure Imagination”. From the look on his face you knew that he was measuring the effectiveness of the amplification you had put in place and pulled up and put down and pulled up and put down at his request until it was just right during rehearsal. It was their debut after all and Chanyeol wanted to make absolutely sure that their debut in the public arena went without a mishap. You noticed his satisfied grin at the hush that fell over the crowd, the only sounds to be heard were the smallest clinks of silverware as people settled in at their tables and tuned in fully to the troupe before them. Even the chefs in the tent just to the side who were still cooking and attending to those waiting in line to order quieted each other in the kitchen so they could hear.

“Great set! Way to open the second act!” ________ (Lyon reader) cheered as Chanyeol came within earshot and joined you all. He beamed in his jolly giant way at your sincere applause and praise, bowing in his characteristic genuinity, his mop of dark brown curled hair flopping forward as he dipped his head. 먹물 and 후추 broke from their places beside you and clamored around him, barking excitedly in greeting.

“I’m back! Just like I promised,” he called to them bending to pet them before Yun Hee who had been quietly playing with her Mother’s spoon dropped the spoon with a clatter on the table and started squealing for Chanyeol, her plump but tiny hands and fingers, grabbing at the air.

“I’m back Yun Hee! What did you think? Did you like the songs?” Chanyeol cooed to her reaching over the puppies for her as her mother offered her up to Chanyeol. You always noticed how Chanyeol opened his hands to hold her, spreading his fingers as wide as they could stretch perhaps to prevent her from slipping out of his grasp and to be absolutely sure that he held all of her. You were all careful with Yun Hee when you held her but especially when _____(Lyon reader) was watching just meters away with unease.

Yun Hee kicked at the air, pumping her legs as if to propel herself forward into Chanyeol’s arms making all of you laugh; her little French braids bounced around, the ribbons threaded through her hair and curled at the end bobbing up and down like streamers in the wind.

_________ (Lyon reader) exhaled.

“She does this with Daddy as well. He's always encouraging her to fly to him when he's coming to get her. ‘Fly Yun Hee! Fly my little bird! Fly to Appa!’ He has so many nicknames for her.”

You wondered if she was thinking what Baekhyun would make of this moment, and if he would be jealous for his daughter’s affection or if he would be happy to see Yun Hee so spirited after coming into the world the way that she did. But when you looked at _________ (Lyon reader) her smile almost began to resemble a wince as she watched an overjoyed Chanyeol tickling an equally blissful, giggly Yun Hee.

Was she looking at how tiny she was though to ______’s (Lyon reader) credit and Baekhyun’s feedings she had gained some weight? Especially in Chanyeol’s arms though even your husband looked smaller when he hugged Chanyeol, and.her fiancé Baekhyun too.

Yun Hee thankfully no longer needed her portable oxygen tank but her mother’s worries still seemed endless nonetheless.

But if Chanyeol noticed, he didn't show you nor Yun Hee. After placing his hat on his head once again, he sat down with Yun Hee standing on his thighs with her hands in his for support. She kept swaying side to side in time with the music and would to look in awe at Chanyeol as he sang along.

With Yun Hee holding on to the back of his wrist and watch, Chanyeol clapped and cheered for his group along with the audience at the close of their piece and quieted down when they began the next song.

“We could walk around a little...see what's going on? I thought I volunteered for face painting with Yun Hee?” Chanyeol grinned as he held Yun Hee closer to his chest, whose eyes were opened wide in delight as she looked at him. She seemed to be searching for something and you almost burst out laughing at the expression on her face when she found what she was looking for. She was softly patting her way all over his face and neck, exploring her beloved Uncle who was making silly faces at her. She giggled and tried to make the faces too. She touched her own ears when she saw Chanyeol wiggling his. She tried with all her might to wiggle her own and pouted when she couldn’t. Chanyeol laughed at her expense and wiggled them again until Yun Hee leaned forward and pulled at Chanyeol’s ears to operate them on her own.

He tried his best to keep a straight face as he stood before you both in the orchard dining area but the constant flicking of his ear lobes had him blushing and giggling.

“Ya Yun Hee please,” Chanyeol whined good naturedly through tearful laughter. “All right Yun Hee! All right sweet baby. Let’s give Uncle Chanyeol a break please,” her mother said to her in that tone and when she reached for Yun Hee, she pouted shaking her head no.

With Yun Hee distracted from pestering his overly sensitive ears, Chanyeol wa able to compose himself once again. He shrugged as he addressed ______(Lyon reader) “I don’t mind carrying her there.” “Well let’s go then. It’d be good to take a walk now,” you said as you stood slowly and ____(Lyon reader) joined you, each of you taking a leash for 먹물 and 후추.

You all chatted quietly as you moved along, stopping to acknowledge the different vendors and looking in on the lecturers in their own tents.

“What do you think ____? Will this really catch on and spread worldwide and be what you hope?” Chanyeol asked, bouncing Yun Hee in his arms gently as he walked at a glacial pace between you and ________(Lyon reader.)

“From the response we have gotten so far I think it has potential. The articles _______(Marseille reader) has done on our events so far have helped immensely and ______(Lyon reader) connections and creativity in design and organization. So far the Pathcodes have seen success...we’ll just have to wait and see what the future holds,” you said quietly ceasing to speak as you finally made your way to the face painting station.

_______(Lyon reader) dropped back to film the short journey on her phone. You could hear her commentary here and there and realized that she was describing the scene for when Baekhyun would be potentially watching this video later. “There she goes our little bird. In the arms of her giant Uncle. She loves it when he carries her,” she whispered to Baekhyun confidentially.

“What should we get?!” Chanyeol asked little Yun Hee who gurgled her response happily pointing at a bird.

The face paint artist finished up just as you all arrived with a little boy who wanted a lion face. He got up just as soon as she showed him the mirror and roared in his best menacing attempt, his whiskers lengthening as he opened his mouth wide.

But you three adults couldn’t help giggling at the mischievious lion with two missing front teeth.

Chanyeol had the nerve to feign fear of the tiny lion, exclaiming in a tone of true worry to Yun Hee. “Oh no! Yun Hee what’ll we do?! It’s a lion!”

The boy, obviously proud of this response, laughed at Chanyeol’s quaking knees making Yun Hee clap her hands and laugh too.

You turned to see ______(Lyon reader) still filming the entire event.

The face paint artist cleaned up her brushes and set up her paints, watching the whole spectacle until the little boy turned away to find his older brother who’d been made up into an alligator waiting on him.

Done with her cleaning, the face paint artist approached you all where you waited and asked, “what’ll it be!?” and Yun Hee didn’t miss a beat.

As she always did, she babbled as quick as she could with open mouth aahs, her eyebrows raising and furrowing in clearly expressive intent as she pointed to the bird.

At the end of her little speech she looked at Chanyeol who nodded and immediately translated that she wanted a bird with a crown of flowers and that he did too.

The face paint artist giggled as she listened to Chanyeol and looked up at you both.

“Well isn’t this the cutest fa-“ But Chanyeol interrupted her.

“I’m her Uncle,” he stated though he was still grinning proudly as if the honor of being an Uncle was just as important as being a Father.

“Ah well, still. You’re wonderful with her,” she smiled gesturing for Chanyeol to bring Yun Hee up to the chair.

“Princess first!” Chanyeol said directing the artist to begin with Yun Hee whose hands he held between his thumb and forefinger to prevent her from grabbing the makeup brushes. But he couldn’t stop Yun Hee from wiggling and giggling each time a brush came close to her.

It occurred to you and her mother who was filming and laughing at her daughter’s reactions that Yun Hee wanted to see the process herself. Her eyes followed the makeup brushes everywhere they went. Each time the face paint artist brought up a new brush with its bristles dipped in a new vibrant color, she would squeal with delight and move her little face so she could look at the color up close.

“It’s going to be awhile Chanyeol,” _______(Lyon reader) warned him but Chanyeol just shrugged again. ————————————————————-

The following morning after breakfast at your place where you hosted Chanyeol and ________(Lyon reader) you drove Chanyeol to the airport.

You saw him off at the entrance of the airport where a clamoring group of reporters and young girls and guys were waiting to catch a glimpse of him.

Back into the fray.

He hugged you both and whispered goodbyes to a still sleeping Yun Hee dozing in her car seat saying “I’ll see you three again soon. Be safe ok? Be well.”

And then he was off, through the VIP security entrance where guards had been called to wait for him.

And then you were off to the hospital.

——————————————————————

“All done little one,” the physician said as Yun Hee hiccuped and sputtered into another cry following her shot.

________(Lyon reader) was trying to soothe her so that she could hear what the physician’s orders were. But she wouldn't quiet.

So you offered to hold Yun Hee.

Yun Hee went to you and sighed, turning into your chest and clutching at your blouse, murmuring in protest of getting another shot.

You rubbed her small back and rocked her from side to side on your knees until she calmed and you could hear _______(Lyon reader) and the physician talking about her progress.

—————————————————————— But when it was time for your appointment you were too afraid to go.

You’d been feeling woozy and overwhelmed about the days leading up to this appointment.

Ever since the first, and second time.

And while it was keeping busy that kept your sadness away, it was also keeping busy that brought you pain and sadness.

When you first discovered that you were pregnant, you waited a month to tell Kyungsoo and the night before you told him….

And so you never told him.

But the second time you were pregnant you told him immediately and yet you still…

It was embarrassing.

It hurt.

It hurt to lose the babies.

It hurt to tell Kyungsoo over and over again that you couldn’t.

Here you were trying to instill your vision of a holistic, purposeful life in your community and world and yet…

You almost felt hypocritical to be going through health issues of your own. But you knew that you were just beating yourself up.

You didn’t know what to do or who to talk to.

Not to your Mother in Law.

Not ______(Lyon reader)

Not your agent.

Not Kyungsoo.

The list of people to truly confess your worries to was so short…

You couldn’t even look at you in the mirror.

But who else could you talk to except you?

You found yourself talking to your body, willing yourself to be stronger so you could hold your babies.

But you were ashamed of what was inward when reminders of what you wanted surrounded you.

During the third pregnancy you began painting a mural in a room you hoped would have been for the baby but…

And Kyungsoo was miserable for you but you couldn’t bear him worrying over you when you both didn’t have time for that.

You had a studio at the farm where you worked most days and nights now in addition to managing the daily duties of the farm with Kyungsoo.

Eventually even just talking with him about the needs of the farm and the festivals became unbearable. There was always the ghost of the conversation you still couldn’t have lingering around the edges of his words and his looks. At home you avoided his eyes and his touch. And you locked the attic library. He put the wine glasses deep into the kitchen cupboard and began giving the wine away as gifts to his brothers when they came to visit to discuss the Pathcodes. You knew when he would be traveling again when you saw not just his suitcase but also a wine glass gift box on the counter. And so you began throwing all of your energy into your extension of the Pathcodes, organizing everything on your own for the first festival. And by the time the event was over you couldn’t feel your feet beneath you but you drove Kyungsoo to the airport where he was flying out to meet with Yixing who would be replicating the harvest festival event in a couple years time and drove yourself home and crawled to the living room couch to sleep. As you drifted further from Kyungsoo, you clos tyour mother. At first you called her once a month but then once a week, and then once a day for an hour. And though you never told her about what was happening, you knew that she knew. Without acknowledging or hinting to anything at all, she asked one day if you wanted to take a trip to the stables you’d gone to as a child. And so began your summer getaways between the autumn and spring harvests with your Mother for a weekend following your regular appointments with your OB/GYN and your psychologist. You would spend your days at the stables and your nights where you couldn’t sleep you would dream on paper the children… And you went on like that for a year until your birthday earlier this year. You and Kyungsoo has always celebrated each year together as both of your birthdays opened up the new year. And though you were unable to look him in the eye and touch him the way you always had, that didn’t mean that you couldn’t celebrate his birthday. He had been gone to see Yixing after the end of your first four month harvest festival last Fall and returned just before the New Year. You planned a small celebration with your in Laws and invited your parents to attend the small dinner. After his brother picked him up from the airport, he brought him to the farm where you decorated the barn to welcome him and erupted in singing the moment they pushed the barn doors open. You could tell that he was crying but he composed himself and thanked you all for the surprise. He was in shock to see your parents there as were your in-laws when you first told them about your plans for the dinner. But you’d spoken to your parents about getting over the issues you had as a family and that it would help you especially now to have their support. And so they came with sincere birthday congratulations for you and Kyungsoo both. Having everyone around you buffered you from talking about what was still left unsaid and in its own way made the night a little easier. And when you finally made it home, alone once again together, Kyungsoo spoke to you. Hearing his voice again after so long a period of quiet reflection had you in tears at its deliberate tenderness and quiet strength. “I won’t ask much of you yeobo. I know it’s been hard on you and I’m so sorry. But I need you and I need us and I need things between us to be ok. You have to promise me that you will go to a psychologist. You have to promise me that ok?” He said without touching you or even being close to you. You were sitting in your home studio and he had the door open but he waited in the hall. You wiped your tears as you agreed to his request, “I will go.” And when you reached the point where you’d been going on your own without his reminders or having him transport you there, you came home from an appointment one day to find two toy poodle puppies, one only black and one a soft gray, with red and white ribbons wrapped in bows at their collar waiting for you in your studio with a message penned within a card sitting atop a small box. “These two angels, named 먹물 and 후추, will watch over you when I am away. I love you forever _______. Happy White Day.” Within the box was his traditional White Day gift to you, a small dark chocolate cake with your initials inked in white icing and a circle of red hearts on the border. One for each year of your lives you’d spent together and one extra in white for good luck. —————————————————— October “Thank y'all for dropping in. It was wonderful seeing you two again. Goodness we haven't seen one ‘nother since you were a runt ________” the owner was saying to you as she came up to greet you in the quiet stables. Among the now much lighter usual Sunday morning crowd, a small family remained, a young mother and father were rounding up their twin boys who had been roughhousing in the hay, in the stall across from where you stood. You couldn't help glancing over at the rambunctious, happy quad every now and again. If nothing else to take in a deep breathe of fresh air. You turned from the task you were focusing on, sparing the owner a moment to share her grin with her, and your mother, cordially brightening your eyes before lowering them when the owner turned to address your mother who had already finished her goodbyes to her mare. You worked quietly as she carried on spiritedly. “We keep hearing all about the work she's done. We’ve been watching over her career since she graduated. Got all her clippings and a copy of some of her books too. You even signed a copy once remember!” She was turning to you again, before turning back to your mother because you only smiled politely again in response. “My my, you must be so proud of her! And married now, my my,” she was prattling on and on as anyone who has known someone since they were young does. It's as if they are somehow entitled and entrusted with reminding you of who you were and that you can't deviate from that eternal symbol of youth and hope. People are so fond of memories and reminiscing. Your mother let her go on, nodding here, and there sincerely reciprocating her eye contact and enthusiasm before engaging her. She was a harmless older woman after all. She truly had known you since you were a small girl here in Colorado Springs. Your mother had allowed you riding lessons as it was a tradition in the family to do so. And once you got the hang of it she stopped coming with you and sent you on your own. And so this woman had adopted you in her own way, and fostered your love of illustration by allowing you to stay during the summer after an exhaustive school year. You spent many a summer weekend up in the loft in the stables drawing into dawn with the windows opened wide to Universe, drawing inspiration from everything you could hear, smell, see... It was here that you and your mother had visited once again at their bed, and breakfast in when once again you allowed so many responsibilities to pile up that you lost sight.. That you lost… Again... You smiled once again when she looked your way and nodded at her, feeling a slight buzzing in your pocket. “Excuse me,” you whispered politely stepping away from the “a to b with an adjoining nonchalant c” conversation to step outside of the pungent, homey stables. Just as you swiped the screen to answer a text message from your agent, your Mother-in-Law was sending you a text asking when you were coming home for dinner, and _________ (Minseok’s Vice President) was sending you an email to confirm a proof for a new brochure and the OB/GYN was sending another confirmation message for your appointment next month… You clicked the power button until the screen went dark, and pressed the phone to your chest, taking a deep inhalation through your nose, and let the breath gently pass through your lips until you had nothing left. One step at a time, you exhaled once more, and opened your eyes to the pasture before you. To the lush evergreen. The brilliant, bright sunny sky. If you listened and waited patiently surely a bird song was trilling somewhere. A babbling, bustling brook. Come back to the Earth. Stay grounded. “______?” You heard your mother call you out to you suddenly. You pulled a smile from the crisp afternoon air, and whirled around to face her noticing that the owner had given up trying to coax stories of yesterday from you, and instead waited silently as if she were a mime. As if she was waiting for you to give her reason to move and provoke some deeper expression. Did she realize that the future could be heartbreaking enough? Who needs to look back on what was when the future was so… “Yes?” You put a song in your voice. “Well what do you think dear? Are you ready to head back?” She asked, gesturing towards the path leading to the parking lot where the car would be waiting. You nodded, maintaining your close lipped smile as you passed by the farm owner you'd known in your childhood, waving politely once again as you went past and dropping the glamour the moment you stepped out of their gates. The car ride was only an hour at most from your Mother’s new home and you stopped in with her to grab your small leather overnight bag you'd dropped at the foot of the guest bed the moment you arrived. 먹물 and 후추 woke immediately from their naps, barking happily at your return. “Hello babies,” you smiled at them letting them lick your hands. Looking around at the room, you were surprised at how homely this room felt even though it wasn't the bedroom of your youth. There was nothing of this place that was familiar. But your mother had tried in her own way to make it comfortable for your stay. You could tell that the bedroom had been rearranged. That she had repositioned the writing desk to face the window the way you had always done at home. The bookcase looked quite new and you noticed a couple of old titles you'd been acquainted with some time ago. Memories. You held onto the substantial post of the footrest of the bed as you felt yourself sinking into the hardwood floor. Memories. “Dear?” Your mother called to you. From the look on her face, she had been standing there for some time watching you. “Are you having any pain?” She asked gently to which you shook your head immediately, and gathered up your bags quickly before joining her in the hall. “I’m ready now,” you said attempting a small smile. 먹물 pawed at your foot as 후추 whined. ----------------- She brought you to the family restaurant as you asked, and helped you with 먹물 and 후추 just as your Mother-in-Law was rushing out to greet you all. “It's a pleasure to see you again,” your mother nodded to your Mother-in-Law who nodded to her in return. “Yes, it is a pleasure,” she said, and your mother returned the sentiment cordially. “I can’t believe we are already starting our Halloween Harvest celebrations. The year just flies by with all of the work we’re doing,” your Mother-in-Law laughed to herself. You nodded as you had been doing all weekend. With that smooth smile pressed between your lips. “Did you enjoy your holiday together?” Your Mother-in-Law asked gesturing for you both to come inside. 먹물 and 후추 would wait by the front with one of the waiters your Mother in Law sent for. He seemed all too happy to do it. 먹물 and 후추 were already snuggling into him and licking his cheeks. “I haven't been riding in a long time, and I needed the fresh air. It smells delicious in here as always,” you smiled genuinely at her as she ushered you both inside towards the table she already prepared for dinner.

The conversation was light and quick just like the meal, an enriching bowl of chogye guksu. Just as you were raising your second to last substantial spoonful of chogye guksu to your lips, a group of customers entered the restaurant. The hostess who was waiting by the door ushered them to a table and as they passed by your table which was in the center of the restaurant, they wished you all greetings and health to you and your Mother in Law and your Mother before passing and being seated by the window. “Thank you so much for the meal. I enjoy trying something new from your extensive menu each time I come,” your mother smiled sincerely, reaching towards your Mother-in-Law to shake her hand. Your Mother-in-Law blushed, reaching her arms out to offer a hug in place of a hand shake which your mother received awkwardly. One step at a time. ---------------------- After helping you with your bags into the front door, and letting 먹물 and 후추 inside your mother reached for you a little less awkwardly and held you close. You rested your cheek against her breastbone listening to her heartbeat thudding against your ear when she suddenly spoke. “You'll be all right. You can do this,” she whispered against your brow as she smoothed your hair back from your crown. You felt the tears pooling even with your eyes wide open, and found yourself fisting your hands into her blouse. But she pulled herself away from you, pressing your arms down at your sides when she felt you reaching to pull her closer, as she tipped your chin upwards so you could look her in the eyes. “You can do this _______. You are strong,” though it was her voice that you were hearing, it was her eyes that spoke to you. As if she was trying once again to imbue you with her resilient spirit and willing you not to crumble in on yourself. You nodded obediently as always. What a familiar expression. And she stood there, silently watching you for a moment before taking a small step back, and descending the entryway steps to return to her car, her home, and her life. ----------------------

It was only when she left, and you’d tidied the house up that you finally exhaled, and turned on your phone once again.

Just as your husband was calling.

“Yeobo?” His voice brought fresh tears to your eyes once again.

“I am here,” you answered immediately, and heard him let out a raspy exhale.

먹물 and 후추 seemed to know who was on the phone and began yapping loudly.

You laughed at their attempt at a greeting, placing your hand over the receiver and saying “quiet now babies. Please, ” before returning to your conversation.

“How are you?” His words were ever more weighted than usual.

“Better now, and even better when you will be back. I miss you,” you confessed, and heard him give an even deeper tearful sigh.

“I miss you too yeobo. I'll be home soon. I promise. I'm so sorry that I wasn't-”

“Don't. Don't speak of it,” your voice grew louder, and you quickly softened your tone because of the way 먹물 and 후추 began to whine and paw at your calves.

“Please Soo. Please travel safely. Don't worry about me. I'll be...I'm all right. Come home the right way. Not too soon, and not too late,” you strengthened yourself to say what your best self would say and not what your fearful heart wanted.

But I'm already too late, you knew he would say.

The pregnant pause after your words of encouragement confirmed that for you.

But he took a shaky breath and responded, “we are almost done here. Yixing has been very accommodating as usual. But we’re all ready to get back home, and get back to work. I'm thankful that Mom was able to help you out with the classes and…” you laid down on your master bed listening to him talk allowing his tender voice to slow the trembling beat of your heart. You tuned into him as you hadn't done for quite some time. As you had been wanting to do.

Come home my love.

Come back to me my dream.

———————————————

#EXO #AU #EXO AU #EXO Fan Fiction #Human Realm #Universe Gamma #Colorado #Kyungsoo #EXO Pathcodes AU #Pathcodes AU

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temeraaires-blog · 7 years

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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 2 Song Starters

SUPER long post and some a lot of these are nsfw. Feel free to change pronouns/names/do whatever.

Theme Song

I’m just a girl in love.

I can’t be held responsible for my actions.

I have no underlying issues to address.

They say love makes you crazy.

Love Kernels

I can live for days off a single “you really listen to me.”

I’m like a sexy fashion cactus.

But how do I know he loves me?

I guess the only way to prove it is through abstract symbolism.

He gives me love kernels.

If you read between the lines he’s saying “I love you.”

I’m the most important person in his life, next to his friend.

God, I’m thirsty after all that popcorn.

Whatever you got, baby, I’ll take it, baby.

Your house smells like lemon.

I’ll take it.

It’s a stretch but I’ll take that too.

______ is now played by a broom on a stand.

We’ll do our best with what we have.

We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now

We should definitely not have sex right now.

I need time to reflect.

I’m in a really weird place.

There’s no reason to have sex again. But I’ll be ready to go again in ten.

Maybe This Dream

When I was a little girl, I felt like a princess.

I thought my dreams would come true, but then as I grew, the world was all like, "Nope.”

Maybe this dream won’t end in disgrace.

Maybe this dream is in reach.

Maybe this dream won’t be like my vibrator, breaking when I need it most.

Maybe this dream will finally me feel like I deserve a dream.

Greg’s Drinking Song

There’s joy and there’s glory more than you can think.

Yes, this is what happens to me when I drink.

I pee my pants!

Wow, I did not know it was that bad.

Chase down the regret with some gin for good luck.

I puke on my cat.

Poor little ____ did not expect that.

What happens when, I try to have one it just turns into ten.

That wasn’t a woman?

No, it was a bush.

So that’s where that scar comes from!

But he’s breaking his cycle and making a push!

He’s quitting his drinking.

I Could If I Wanted To (Reprise)

Whoop de frickin’ do.

My best friend is sleeping with my ex behind my back.

Who cares? I don’t.

But I could if I wanted---

Ping Pong Girl

Sports!

I could tell she’s the most perfect girl who’s ever existed.

Oh man, look at her pong that ping.

She does it for herself and that puts my fears to rest.

BRO!

She’s so aloof it borders on cold. And that’s what makes me want her.

Nothing’s hotter than a chick who’s good at sports.

She scored a thousand points!

I think I love her.

Ping pong shows she has control of her body, but it doesn’t threaten my masculinity like basketball or hockey.

She’s like Serena or Venus

She’s so indifferent. It makes me want a tangible commitment.

The Math of Love Triangles

What’s a girl to do when she’s stuck between men?

I wasn’t really listening

The center of the triangle is little ol’ me!

So I need to decide which man’s more acute.

Those are good puns, but please pay attention.

We’re starting to suspect you don’t sincerely want to know about triangles.

Is this a triangle?

No that’s a shoe.

No that’s you.

So I’m a triangle?

What? No!

Ooh, are you erect?

That’s really erect!

We’re tired of all your tangents.

You all deserve a kiss.

Lady, we’re all gay. We get nothing out of this.

It Was a Shit Show

I love you, yes.

The thought of staying is so enticing.

Then stay.

When you speak, my knees get weak.

I can’t believe what I’m sacrificing.

But let’s get real. We know the deal.

Darling, let’s not tiptoe.

This thing we had was not just bad. It was a shitshow.

We can’t undo, can’t make amends.

Disfunction is our lingua franca.

We can’t unscrew each other’s friends.

There’s hard to get, then there’s neglect.

To say it’s fate, you’d have to be a bit slow.

Not to be crass, but this sucked ass.

This was a shitshow.

We have chemistry, of course. But that’s a formula for divorce.

Oh what the hell, let’s get a hotel.

Life is short, and we’re not getting any younger.

But after sex what happens next...I mean, in the long run. Not just fatigue and hunger...

And when you say that I should stay, that’s exactly when I should split, though.

Though I won’t forget, I won’t regret.

Though I won’t forget, I won’t regret this beautiful, heart-stopping, breathtaking, life-changing…..

We Tapped That Ass

We tapped that ass all over this house.

Sometimes him. Sometimes me. Though never simultaneously.

But one of us was hitting it, usually.

That bed is really uncomfortable!

Right? It’s like a prison cot!

What? Too cheeky?

A little to the left/right

Wait! No, you’re doing it wrong. I’ll do it myself!

Barkeep! What’s on tap?

How much more tapping could one ass endure?

Thought Bubbles

Well, I don’t mind being alone.

I’m not afraid of what enters my mind when I’m so low.

I’m perfectly capable of taking of advantage of this time.

No, I don’t mind being alone with my thoughts.

That’s a bad thought!

I don’t like that thought!

What happens if I go to hell?

Chill out.

If I can’t hit the gym how will I ever be a good father?

Friendtopia

When my friends and I stick together there’s nothing we can’t do.

I specifically mean we’re going to stage a coup.

Squad goals!

A dystopia around our friendship

There’s a really exclusive sushi place that never lets us in.

Let’s just go home and drink rose.

I put drugs in the water supply.

Aww, I love Hocus Pocus.

Zig-a-zow!

Stuck in the Bathroom

Get me out of here!

Tonight was already super weird and now [you’re/she’s/he’s] stuck in the bathroom.

I have a deceptive amount of muscular strength thanks to my amazing core.

Her little bird arms aren’t going to do anything!

Whoever renovated this house did a terrible job!

I can’t believe it took us that long to come up with the most obvious solution.

Research Me Obsessively

Hey, what are you doing for the next, like, thirteen hours?

Don't do anything healthy. Don't be productive. Give in to your desire.

Find out everything you can about me

You Go First

We used to be there for each other, every second

I really wanna tell you that I'm sorry!

I really wanna tell you that I am the worst!

I just want to say I miss you every day!

This is almost entirely all my fault here. But you gotta admit it's just a tiny bit your fault too.

Sometimes you can be really passive aggressive!

Sometimes you can be really self-involved.

Go ahead and say you're kind of sorry! So I can say "Oh, no, no, no, please!” Just like I rehearsed!

If you open the door, I'll apologize so much more.

[But] You go first!

So Maternal

Parenting ain’t harrowing, demanding or traumatic!

Step aside ladies, give your babies to a Carol Brady level matriarch.

Low expectations - Raise ‘em up!

You know, I guess I just instinctively get how to be a mom and that's what sets me apart from other "mothers."

Damn, I’m so maternal!

Duh!

Duh! What was I thinking?

Can’t believe I couldn’t see it all along.

Don’t know what was going through my mind!

I’m just like -- ugh! God, I’m so stupid.

Looking back on old times. Like that one time. And that other time.

It’s so obvious!

Duh!

Who’s the New Guy?

Who's the new guy? I don't trust him

Do we really need a new guy this far into the season? And by "far into the season" I mean it's almost fall.

He's suspiciously good looking. In ways that normal people are not

Is this someone new we're gonna have to grow to care about?

Why should we root for someone male, straight and white?

We’ll Never Have Problems Again

We’ll never have problems again!

It's only smooth, smooth sailing from now on…

We used to have problems but now they're gone.

Do you remember, back when we had problems?

Man, that was annoying.

But now our love has magically solved [our problems].

And there won't be any more [problems] in our future at all!

Fine. I guess I’ll just Soul Train out of here.

The first test failed but that’s ‘cause it wasn’t true love.

They say obsession biologically lasts four years at most but science doesn't apply to us.

Remember That We Suffered

But before you feel too great...remember that we suffered!

But we sing in a minor key to remember that we suffered!

Being happy is selfish!

You have no idea what pain is!

When I say 'we' you say 'suffered'!

Santa Ana Winds

Hello there, it's me.

I make things weird

That's science for "a pain in your asses"

They just got Santa Ana winded!

I'm a prankster. Tee-hee-hee-hee.

I just wanna see what will happen

You're looking really guilty

That kiss was all your fault!

I just reveal your deepest wishes and fears

So it's you, ________. It's not me who is super weird.

You ruined everything.

Let’s Have Intercourse

Unfortunately, I want to have sex with you

I don't know what happened

For some reason, you're now on the top of my to-do list

Let's get this over with so I can focus on other tasks

Just pretend I'm seducing you

Let's quickly have intercourse so I can move on with my life

Once we do it, it'll be like “Well, that's what that was like.”

I mean, obviously you want to, too

Just super quickly have intercourse

Sometimes my body wants things that my mind does not

My body wants things that make my mind go, "Uh, body, what?"

We're animals It's unfortunate.

So come on, let's contortion it!

I won't be back to normal till I see what your nipples look like.

Until we stop wasting time talking 'bout it and we super quickly, it'll only take a second, have intercourse.

Good thing I happen to have an old condom In my wallet

You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)

You’re my best friend, and I know I’m not yours.

And that’s okay.

I’m not your best friend.

I’m okay.

Friendship doesn’t have to be a two-way street.

I don’t need a shoulder to cry!

Your best friend is somebody else. But I get it.

I love you like a sister and you love me like a second cousin.

I said it’s okay! Really!

Man Nap

It’s a man nap!

Time to nap like a man!

Life is so tiring when you’re a man.

It’s exhausting being so damn strong.

‘Cause when a man gets older, his testosterone starts getting low.

Tell Me I’m Okay, Patrick

You represent the outside world because you don’t know me.

No pressure, but I seriously need to know.

‘Cause I think I’m fine ______, but I’m only, like, forty-three percent sure.

I’m sorry that I yelled.

Tell me I’m okay.

Period Sex

It’s period sex.

Put down a towel, party till it’s dry.

Are those sheets expensive?

I’ll Venmo you back for your sheets.

I hope you can get those sheets again.

What a Rush to be a Bride

Can you believe you snagged him?

Forever you will have him standing right there by your side.

I’ve been picturing this day since I’ve been a little girl.

Why veer from the classics?

Rebecca’s Reprise

You’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted.

It turns out magic exists.

Everything in the past will just fade away.

I’ll never have problems again.

#⚜ memes ⚜#memes #askbox games #starters #ceg starter #rp starter #rp starters

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crushing83 · 7 years

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Many Meetings

I'm home-home, and my family doesn't exactly understand that I waaaant to read this chapter today, but hopefully I'll be able to get through it.

“Frodo woke and found himself lying in bed. At first he thought that he had slept late, after a long unpleasant dream that still hovered on the edge of memory. Or perhaps he had been ill? But the ceiling looked strange; it was flat, and it had dark beams richly carved. He lay a little while longer looking at patches of sunlight on the wall, and listening to the sound of a waterfall.”

Whew. Frodo's all right. Waterfall sounds. In an elvish home base. Shocker. ;p

“‘You have talked long in your sleep, Frodo,’ said Gandalf gently, ‘and it has not been hard for me to read your mind and memory. Do not worry! Though I said “absurd” just now, I did not mean it. I think well of you – and of the others. It is no small feat to have come so far, and through such dangers, still bearing the Ring.’”

Did I know Gandalf could read minds? Has he ever discussed his abilities so plainly? (There is too much material, I'm having a hard time keeping track.)

“There are orcs and trolls, there are wargs and werewolves; and there have been and still are many Men, warriors and kings, that walk alive under the Sun, and yet are under his sway.”

Werewolves are a thing in Tolkien's universe. I keep forgetting that. Are they change-whenever werewolves? Or full-moon-only werewolves? So many questions about the smallest of mentions lol

“‘Elrond commanded it,’ answered Gandalf. ‘The river of this valley is under his power, and it will rise in anger when he has great need to bar the Ford. As soon as the captain of the Ringwraiths rode into the water the flood was released. If I may say so, I added a few touches of my own: you may not have noticed, but some of the waves took the form of great white horses with shining white riders; and there were many rolling and grinding boulders. For a moment I was afraid that we had let loose too fierce a wrath, and the flood would get out of hand and wash you all away. There is great vigour in the waters that come down from the snows of the Misty Mountains.’”

Hee. I just imagine Elrond and Gandalf sitting on a balcony looking at each other like "Whoops?" and "Do you think we overdid it?" and then shrugging and saying "Nah... I'm sure they're fine."

(Also... did we know Elrond could control water?)

“Frodo was now safe in the Last Homely House east of the Sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, ‘a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all’. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness.”

I have a hard time with Rivendale being called the Last Homely House. Only because in art and movies, it's a little more than a house. But, artistic license and all that, I guess?

“At that moment there was a knock on the door, and Sam came in. He ran to Frodo and took his left hand, awkwardly and shyly. He stroked it gently and then he blushed and turned hastily away.”

Awww. So cute. Kind of awkward, but mostly cute.

“Glorfindel was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold, his face fair and young and fearless and full of joy; his eyes were bright and keen, and his voice like music; on his brow sat wisdom, and in his hand was strength.”

Maybe casting him would have been too hard. But, I still wish he'd been included in the movies (so I could have a face to put with the name).

“...and she was called Undómiel, for she was the Evenstar of her people. Long she had been in the land of her mother’s kin, in Lórien beyond the mountains, and was but lately returned to Rivendell to her father’s house. But her brothers, Elladan and Elrohir, were out upon errantry; for they rode often far afield with the Rangers of the North, forgetting never their mother’s torment in the dens of the orcs.”

What does "Evenstar" mean?

I also wish the brothers had been in the movies. I know they're in the fan movie thing. (But I don't consider that official. Is that mean? Should I consider it part of the official canon?)

“Sam had begged to be allowed to wait on his master, but had been told that for this time he was a guest of honour.”

Awww. What is it about Sam that provokes that reaction? His loyalty? His sidekick status? Just wanna give this hobbit a prize or something.

“Frodo learned that Grimbeorn the Old, son of Beorn, was now the lord of many sturdy men, and to their land between the Mountains and Mirkwood neither orc nor wolf dared to go.”

Huh. It always felt like Beorn was alone, and there would never be others like him. But! Seems like he survived and had heirs?

“‘...Nowhere are there any men so friendly to us as the Men of Dale. They are good folk, the Bardings. The grandson of Bard the Bowman rules them, Brand son of Bain son of Bard. He is a strong king, and his realm now reaches far south and east of Esgaroth.’”

I hate thinking of a Dale without Bard. Must be the Barduil shipper in me.

There was more I wanted to talk about, but I'll save it for another day. It's time to go bond with the fam again. Hoppy Easter all!

#silmread #fellowship of the ring #tolkien #ramblings

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analogscum · 6 years

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BLACKOUT (1985, d. Douglas Hickox)

I’m gonna let you in on the process, my dear Scumbags. The method behind all of this madness, if you will. This is how I tend to go about picking a movie to write about for this site: I look at the VHS box art. I would like to say that this is because I want to make the experience of reading ANALOG SCUM like scrounging through the grimy back section of a video store of yore, but the reality is that I’m lazy and easily swayed by aesthetics. So you can imagine my elation when I came across the box art for 1985’s Blackout. I mean, look at this puppy! There’s a bondage gimp man brandishing a knife, with a very rock n’ roll title font, what’s not to love?! This is one of those titles that haunted (tee hee) the horror section of my local National Video as a young’n, and I’m sure horror fans around my age or older remember those piercing blue eyes staring at us through that leather mask. Based on this box art, I thought I would be watching a sleazy giallo-inspired slasher, with nudity and gore to spare, maybe even of the SOV variety, which is a-ok in my book. But then…I learned that Blackout was a made-for-TV movie. Oh fudge.

So there’s this lady in a red trench coat, right? She walks up to a house and knocks on the back door. Then she rings the doorbell, and it sounds like a buzzer, which, who has a doorbell on their back door, and that’s not how a doorbell sounds. Fucking CARE MORE, filmmakers. The lady finds a spare key and enters the house. It’s pretty eerie. There’s classical music blaring, and the remnants of a child’s birthday party are still on the dining table. The lady goes into a side office, where the classical music is blaring from, and turns off the record player. But what’s that? The TV is on in another room. So the lady heads downstairs. It’s dark. It’s creepy. And in the TV room, there’s another lady and three kids, and they’re super duper dead! Whoa! Afternoon ruined!

And so enters Detective Grandpa. He’s a grizzled old gumshoe who you just know is going to take this case way too personally and the guy who did it is going to become his white whale, etc. etc. etc. Detective Grandpa learns that the patriarch of this murdered family, one Ed Vincent, has gone missing. So of course that must be the perp who done it! Cut to: a guy hitchhiking by the side of the road. Huh? So he gets picked up by someone driving what looks like a Yugo or a Gremlin or some other terrible late 20th century car. Anyway, this fucking guy immediately starts tailgating a lumber truck for no goddamn reason. Ease off the gas, dicknose! Then he tries to pass the lumber truck on the right hand side, which, c’mon, asshole, and then ANOTHER LUMBER TRUCK comes in the other direction, the car swerves, goes up a hill, comes crashing down, and fucking EXPLODES. Was it worth it, ya tailgating son of a bitch?!

Now the movie turns into The Diving Bell and the Butterfly for a few minutes, and we see things from the perspective of the hitchhiker. Turns out he’s suffered serious facial injuries and will require a series of total reconstructive surgeries, plus he’s got amnesia, so he has no idea who he is, whoops. We meet a bunch of his doctors, who don’t matter, plus his nurse, who is played by Kathleen Quinlan, aka the lady from Apollo 13, plus her cop boyfriend, played by Michael Beck, aka the guy from The Warriors and zero other good movies. She’s a recent divorcee, and he’s extremely pushy about wanting to get married, and gets super annoyed when she tries to assert her personhood, but don’t worry about it. Anyway, our homie gets all of his surgeries, and decides that he wants to look like Keith Carradine, which is fine. It’s a choice. It’s like saying, hey, make me look like a more wholesome Klaus Kinski. But yeah, eventually he and Kathleen Quinlan fall in love, and decide to get married. Michael Beck takes this extremely well, by which I mean he yells at her and then pretends he was only worried about their financial situation. Oh hey, is that a wall on Michael Beck’s bedroom that’s covered in photos of Kathleen Quinlan? I thought I said don’t worry about it!

Cut to: six years later. Keith Carradine is going by the name Allen Devlin. He’s a super successful real estate agent, he and Kathleen Quinlan are happily married, and they have three kids. Detective Grandpa, meanwhile, has been forced into retirement by the powers that be, definitely because of political reasons and not because he’s a degenerate drunk. But then someone anonymously sends him a newspaper clipping with a picture of Allen Devlin, and he’s like, oh fuuuuuuuuck, I’m off to Washington state to harass some innocent people! He accosts Allen on a crowded elevator and is like, Oh hey, Ed Vincent! And of course Allen is like, um, no, you’ve got the wrong guy. And Detective Grandpa is like, oh no, you’re definitely Ed Vincent, remember, you had a wife and three kids and then they were fucking murdered?! Anyhoo, see ya later! And then he just gets off the elevator and Allen is like, what the hell was that about, some old rummy just called me a killer?!

Detective Grandpa then does what he should’ve done in the first place were he not a whisky-soaked dickhead and shows up at Allen Devlin’s office. He shows Allen a bunch of crime scene photos and Allen is horrified and agrees to prove his innocence however he can. THE VERY NEXT SCENE, they go to the doctors and the doctors are like, hey, look, Allen’s dental records don’t match Ed Vincent’s, so this movie should basically be over now. But Detective Grandpa is like, nah, who needs scientific evidence when you’ve got a sleuth’s intuition and blah blah burp. At this point Michael Beck gets pulled back into the movie, and once again rightfully points out that the movie should be over at this point because scientifically speaking Allen can’t be Ed Vincent, and Detective Grandpa responds by calling Michael Beck a “young hot shot computer type.” Ugh. So Allen hires a private investigator to look into his past before the accident, which goes pretty much nowhere. Kathleen Quinlan starts getting threatening phone calls from someone calling themselves Ed, and addressing her by the dead wife’s first name. Oh, and out of the fucking blue, Mr. Bondage Guy from the box art shows up and starts attacking women around town, and Detective Grandpa is like, oh yeah, forgot to mention this, we had similar attacks out in Ohio, creep in a gimp mask going around rapin’ everybody up in here, but they stopped…AFTER THE VINCENT FAMILY MURDER!!! SPOOOOOOOOKY!!! It’s like, c’mon, you’ve GOT to set this up way before the mid-point of the movie! It’s like getting a sandwich with one too many meats: do you want a serial killer hoagie or a bondage rapist grinder? PICK ONE, BLACKOUT!

So the private eye that Allen hired winds up dead, and the police of course suspect Allen. Allen, meanwhile, is starting to think that Detective Grandpa and Michael Beck are conspiring to set him up, because of course he would think that! This sentient bottle of Captain Morgan and the creepy cop who clearly still loves his wife suddenly start lobbing accusations of murder at him? C’mon, what’s he supposed to think? But then one of the kids finds a gimp mask in the garden shed! Oh noooooo! Kathleen Quinlan is like, gaaaaah maybe you are a murderizer! And brandishes a knife at him, and Allen is like, c’mon, baby, you know me better than that, I have no idea how that super sexy mask got in our garden shed! Look, to prove that I’m not a murderer, I’ll have myself committed, so that the cops can’t arrest me (which is not how that works), and then when the crimes continue, I’ll be exonerated for good! So off to the loony bin he goes, and into the garbage bin this movie goes.

Detective Grandpa gets the DNA results back from the lab on the super sexy gimp mask: no traces of Allen anywhere on the thing. And then a guy gets arrested for attempted rape, and they find a different sexy gimp mask on him! All of a sudden, Michael Beck, who has been calling Detective Grandpa crazy this whole time, is like, this could be a copycat crime, I think Allen is the real bad guy here now because the plot needs me to! Detective Grandpa is like, nah, your man confessed, there’s no real evidence to tie Allen to any of this, I was wrong, I’m going back to my elderly bachelor’s apartment in Ohio, but before I do that, can I use your bathroom? Michael Beck is like, sure, no problem, just ignore my wall festooned with pictures of Allen’s wife, if you could. But whoops, he doesn’t, and Detective Grandpa is like, holy shit, you set this whole thing up because you wanna go back to boning Kathleen Quinlan, you sent me that newspaper clipping, didn’t you? And Michael Beck, toilet clown that he is, tries to have it both ways, and is like, ok fine, I sent you the newspaper clipping, but I did it because I really thought he may be the guy you’re after, not because of this obvious romantic vendetta of mine! Psssssssh. So then Detective Grandpa is like, did you make those phone calls and plant the gimp mask too? To which Michael Beck is like, how dare you, I may have sent you a newspaper clipping in the hope of getting my unrequited love’s new husband accused of murder, but I’d NEVER plant evidence! Get off your fucking high horse, Beck, and just admit that you’re a creep, yeeeeaaaaaah.

To his credit, Detective Grandpa stops by to see Kathleen Quinlan, and is like, hey, I fucked up, your husband is definitely innocent, and Michael Beck definitely set this whole thing in motion because he’s still in love with you. Which comes as a huge shock to Kathleen Quinlan, and I hate when movies do this, because women are fucking smarter than this. Men in general, but especially creepy men, are terrible at hiding their unrequited feelings, and women definitely know, they just choose to ignore it. Whatever. So Kathleen Quinlan goes to see Allen and is like, I know you’re innocent now, I just want you back, and he’s like, ok, you’re right, it’s time for me to come back to my family, but oooooh boy am I mad at Detective Grandpa and Michael Beck! Anyway, I should be home just in time for…OUR SON’S BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! SPOOOOOOOOOOKY!!!

Michael Beck, because he’s awesome at ideas, decides to show Kathleen Quinlan that he’s not a creep by accosting her in the Safeway parking lot. Smooth move, Xanadu. He’s like, look, I know that I made a few oopsies, but I still think that your husband is a murderer, and you and your family are in danger. So finally Kathleen Quinlan just unloads on him. She’s like, you’re a manipulative jerk, that’s why I didn’t want to marry you, and that’s why we’re in this situation now, and you need to fucking nut up and get over this childish crush you have on me, and while you’re at it stay away from me and my family, I never want to see you ever again. So Michael Beck totally respects these wishes and…nope, nope, sorry, he parks his car across from the house and goes and stalks them. To make sure they’re “safe.” Fuck offfffffffff, dude.

So the kids are celebrating the youngest’s birthday, they’re decorating the house and blaring the rock n’ roll radio (let’s go!). Kathleen Quinlan asks one of the kids to go close the garage door, but he’s like, nah, I’m on the phone with the radio station so that they’ll give little fuckin’ Mikey or whatever his name is a shoutout on the air! So Kathleen Quinlan goes herself to take care of the garage door, but the lights aren’t working, so she grabs a flashlight, and then, OH CRIPES IT’S MR. BONDAGE GUY!!! She fights him off and manages to knock him out. Meanwhile, Detective Grandpa has stopped for gas, when he hears the birthday dedication to little fuckin’ Mikey or whatever his name is on the radio and he’s like DEAR GOD!!! So then Kathleen Quinlan is like, I must know! So she pulls off the super sexy gimp mask, and whoopdie fuck, it’s Allen. Great. So he wakes up and starts smacking her around and he’s like blargh bloogh I’m crazy now, I’m Ed Vincent and I think you’re my wife, so everybody’s going to hell tonight! The kids don’t hear any of this, of course, because of that blasted rock n’ roll music! She barricades herself in the car, and oh shit, there’s Michael Beck’s dead body! He starts busting out the windows, she crawls out of the driveway, and he’s about to gank her with an axe, when all of a sudden, Detective Grandpa shows up and puts two between the eyes. RIP Allen Devlin. RIP Ed Vincent. And RIP Blackout.

Mostly this movie is just a deeply frustrating viewing experience. The central premise, an amnesiac accused of murder, is a really smart and fascinating one, because there are so many ways you can run with it: is this guy really a secret cold blooded killer? Is this detective just letting his obsession (and all that liquor) cloud his judgement? Or are they both being manipulated by someone else for their own nefarious means? Unfortunately, the filmmakers decided to go with the most predictable and boring answer, while also taking the most needlessly convoluted route to get there. However, the performances are all good, more or less, and there’s some excellent cinematography, courtesy of Tak Fujimoto, who would go on to do incredible work with Jonathan Demme and others, so at least the movie looks good. Still, you can’t help but lament what a lost opportunity this is from a storytelling perspective. This is exactly the types of movies that should be getting remade: films with interesting plots that failed in execution. Just imagine what someone like Nicolas Winding Refn or David Fincher could do with this story, right?!

I’ll wrap things up with a strange and macabre addendum. Thanks to Nate Phillips, who runs the fantastic online storefront Media Crypt (I own a few of their shirts, and you should too!), for pointing out to me the fact that Blackout inspired a real-life murder! The film premiered on HBO on July 28, 1985. Less than a week later, on August 3, Ed Sherman of Hartford, CT, murdered his pregnant wife, Ellen. Just like in the film, Ed cranked up the air conditioning to slow down decomposition, and throw off the time of death, in an attempt to establish an alibi. During the trial, witnesses claimed to have discussed watching Blackout with Ed the day after it aired, and the film was even shown to the jury by the prosecutor. In the end, Sherman was sentenced to fifty years in prison, but died of a heart attack only four years into his sentence. The case would eventually be covered on an episode of “Forensic Files.” So that just goes to show ya, Scumbags: crime doesn’t pay! Or maybe it would if you pick a better movie than Blackout to base your crime on. I dunno. I don’t really do crimes.

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