#why can't she just ask me to come downstairs and clear the dishes?

[confetti-critter]

"Oh there she is. I was just talking about how I thought you'd clear the dishes by now :)" *doesn't let me finish clearing them*

okkkkkeyyyyyy :3 *throws myself down the stairs*

[userlando]

✧･ﾟ 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮

alejandro vargas x female!reader [3.1k] summary ⤍ alejandro comes home three days earlier than expected. warnings ⤍ 18+ (mdni) explicit language & smut, unprotected sex (piv), oral sex (f receiving) a/n ⤍ i have been obsessed with call of duty lately and this man does not have enough fics written about him. also been feeling like crap lately so this was just very self-indulgent. any and all feedback is appreciated and welcomed. my spanish is also super limited so don't judge too much pls

The door creaks when Alejandro steps over the threshold, eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness as he sneaks inside and makes a mental note to oil the hinges in the morning. He toes off his combat boots and pushes them to the side, scanning the downstairs area for any signs of life. There's none, but it's clear that it's been a rough day judging by the endless clutter of toys strewn from the hallway leading into the living area.

It's hard not to smile in fondness at the mess, heart squeezing when he approaches the coffee table where his daughter had clearly been kept busy with drawing. His fingers touch the messily scrawled letters spelling out 'daddy', taking in a drawing of what he assumes is him - with weirdly tall legs - holding hands with a little girl that resembles his daughter. He shrugs off his jacket, drapes it over the couch and gets to work on collecting all the toys and cleaning up the mess as quietly as he can. It's a big house, so he's not too worried about waking someone up.

When the dishes are washed and placed on the rack to dry, he turns around and heaves a sigh. The exhaustion is starting to creep up on him as he finally lets himself relax, shoulders dropping from where they'd been tense. It had been a hard and gruelling mission, one that had kept him away from his family for over three weeks. The sudden need to see his two favourite girls becomes too much, too fast.

He skillfully sneaks into his daughters room, locates her sleeping form and spends more time than he should've to look at her. He knows she's a light sleeper, refraining from stroking the brown locks away from her face or giving her forehead a kiss. Alejandro made another silent mental note to wake up early to surprise her with pancakes. Maybe he could keep her from school and spend the day with her.

Leaving her sleeping soundly in her bed, he walks quietly down the hallway to the bedroom he shares with you. The door is ajar, soft light spilling from the open crack and he remembers how you'd been doing that ever since you had your daughter. What if she needs me and I can't hear her? You'd once replied when he asked why you insisted on keeping the door open. Alejandro was trained to hear a needle drop, but he could understand your worry all the same and didn't protest at all.

The bedside lamp was on, shedding enough light for him to spot your sleeping form spanned over the mattress. He smiles at the way you're sleeping on your stomach, hands shoved beneath the pillow your head is resting on and he tries to contain the way his heart jumps in his throat when he realizes you're sleeping on his side and on his pillow. He had a feeling you'd been doing that when he's away, it's hard not to notice the smell of your sweet shampoo on his pillow but seeing it in person does things to Alejandro that he couldn't even put to words even if you tried.

He yanks his sweater off as quietly as he can and wastes no time to crawl onto the bed, the mattress dipping where he places his knees. Alejandro should probably let you sleep, judging by the little circles under your eyes and the way your nose is softly whistling with every breath. Btut he really can't help it, dipping his head down to nose into the juncture of your neck and throat. You're ticklish there, always squirming when he kisses you there but you're soft and warm, and you smell so good that he can't help but nuzzle into the little space with a small, happy sigh.

As predicted, you stir in your sleep at the soft touch, shoulder tensing up as his eyelashes tickles a particularly sensitive spot. The tired giggle that escapes your lips almost has Alejandro keeling over.

"Mi amor." Alejandro presses a kiss to your cheek and watches your eyes flutter.

Your lips stretch into a smile when you start to wake up, struggling to turn around with the way your husband is straddling you; Covers wrapped around you messily. He helps you turn onto your back and then you two look at each other with matching smiles on your face. You take in the slight stubble on his face, hands reaching out to touch the prickly skin as you stroke your thumb under his eyes.

"Welcome home." You murmur and that's the incentive he needs to bend down and kiss you.

He loves on your lower lip for a moment before trailing small kisses over your jawline, up to your cheeks.

"You're not supposed to be home for another three days." You say, trying to sound accusing but the smile on your face is too happy.

Alejandro smiles and noses along your cheek lovingly; Like he needs to feel you with him, here, alive. It's not unusual for him to become like this after his missions because God knows what kind of horrendous things he experiences on the daily. That's one of the biggest reasons why you'd decided to move out to the country side, settling down in a farm house with minimal civilization. I need to know that my two favourite girls are safe when I'm not there to protect them, he'd once said. The fear in his eyes and the urgency in his voice was enough conviction for you. He already had a million things to worry about, you didn't need to add his family to the list. Even though you were pretty sure that you were the highest ones up on the list already.

"Needed to see you." He murmured, sighing against your cheek. The puff of air makes you squirm.

"And you're okay?" You cup his face and bring it up in front of you so you can take a look at him.

He doesn't seem harmed, the darkness under his eyes the only indication that he's been struggling. His eyes search your face before he nods once.

"I'm alright, corazón." He grabs your hands in his and presses kisses to them. "Are you two alright?"

You grimace and it makes Alejandro laugh.

"Your daughter is hellbent on challenging me every day," You pause and smile bashfully at him. "I guess you saw the mess downstairs."

Alejandro smiles and bends down, placing his elbows on either side of you. You can't help but crane your neck up to steal a kiss from him.

"Already taken care of, cariño." He goes for a second kiss and you respond eagerly when his tongue touches yours softly.

He kisses you deeply enough to forget what you were talking about, fingers sliding between his strands of hair to grip it softly. Alejandro gently moans into your mouth and you kiss him harder, not realizing how much you'd missed being touched like this until now. Granted, it had only been three weeks but it had been three weeks too long. And your husband seems to share that sentiment, judging by the way he grips your hair and tilts your head to the side so he can suck kisses into your neck. You pant into the air at the feel of his stubble against your sensitive skin, feeling feverish all of a sudden.

"And you?" He whispers into your skin, bringing his sinful mouth back to your ear. "Do you need to be taken care of?"

You can't help the moan in response, feeling your body light up just from his words and Alejandro seems to enjoy it. You can feel his mouth stretch into a smile, kissing his way up to your lips and claiming them once again.

"Yes, yes please." You reply belatedly, feeling a little like your head is swimming.

Alejandro doesn't waste any time to pluck the straps of your nightgown down from your shoulders, slipping them off enough to expose your breasts. He moans in appreciation at the sight of them, scooting down to mouth at the swell of them. You squirm beneath him, hands gripping his hair when he wraps his lips around one nipple to suck and lightly tease with his teeth. The slight sting of it makes it all the more pleasurable.

"Seems like I've been neglecting you, sweetheart." He releases your nipple and pouts at you.

It doesn't make him look regretful nor sad. He just looks outright devilish with his eyes locked on yours, hands coming up to grab at both your tits to knead and massage into his palms. He marvels at the way your mouth drops, taking in your fluttering eyelids and decides that he's waited enough.

His hands wander down, pushing the covers to your feet before he slides his palms up your legs. You try not to think too hard about how you hadn't had time to take care of yourself and taken the time to freshen up and shave, but Alejandro looks enamored all the same when he takes his time to knead your thighs. You had been together for four years and married for three, so you knew that he had absolutely no qualms when it came to body hair or the way you looked.

"Eyes on me, baby." His voice brought you out of your drifting thoughts, pads of his fingers digging into the meat of your thighs as if to ground you.

You locked eyes with him, warmth spreading over your cheeks when you realized that he'd caught you worrying silently in your head. He somehow knew exactly what you were feeling and thinking, and the reassuring smile he sent your way was enough for you to relax and spread your legs so he could wedge himself between them.

"You look perfect," He trailed off and looked down at his hands travelling up your thighs, pushing the hem of your night gown with it. You squirmed when he flipped it up to your stomach, eyes hungrily taking in your center. "Fuck, so gorgeous."

You'd foregone underwear completely, feeling way more comfortable sleeping without them, but it seemed to stun Alejandro into silence as he trailed his fingers down over your mound until he nudged your clit. It wasn't a surprise that you were soaked, almost closing your legs when he swiped a finger down your hole and slicking it up. He scooted down further to lay on his stomach, pressing small and reassuring kisses to your inner thighs before he licked up your center.

A startled whimper escaped you and you clamped a hand over the crown of his head, the other one grabbing onto the sheets by your side. You sighed out a small moan when you felt his tongue circle your clit, pursing his lips and sucking it into his mouth. He placed a hand on your hip and pushed you back down into place when you bucked up into his mouth, eyes flickering down to find him staring at you.

He looked captivating, mouth working sinfully between your legs and eyebrows drawn taut. His eyes were dark, resistant and not moving away from your face in fear of missing a single facial expressions flickering over your face. It was a struggle to keep your sounds in, especially when he worked a finger and then two into you. It should've been embarrassing how easily you sucked them in, but you were too far gone and too close to your orgasm to care about it.

Alejandro hummed low in his throat when you started making those hitched noises he loved so much, indicating that you were close to your release. You wrapped your legs around his form and whispered a string of yes, yes, yes when the vibrations of his humming sent you straight over the edge of oblivion. Your body taut as a bowstring, back arched and hands gripping the sheets, you gasped out your orgasm as Alejandro licked and sucked at you through the waves of intense pleasure. He snuck a hand into his pants and gripped himself at the sounds you were making, your taste on his tongue and the blissed out expression on your face. He was so hard he felt like all the blood had rushed down, making him feel lightheaded when the stroke of his hand gave him some form of release.

It wasn't enough though and he placed multiple kisses to your inner thighs before he climbed up once again to claim your mouth in a filthy kiss that had you whimpering. You were still shivering, hot puffs of breath escaping your lips and melting Alejandro's insides from how incredibly hot he found it. Found you. You looked absolutely destroyed already, eyes blown out and satisfied; Just as he liked you.

"More," you murmured against his lips and it sounded like beautiful music to your husbands ear. "Need more, Ale. Please."

You didn't need to tack on the please, because Alejandro would move mountains and collect every star in the sky for you if you asked. He didn't know how it was possible to love someone like he loved you, and it only seemed to grow every day.

He made quick work of shedding the rest of his clothes, struggling to keep from preening when you stroked your hands over his broad shoulders, bulging biceps and touching the hairs on his muscled chest. The admiration in your eyes made something in his stomach go tight from adoration for you and pride because a body like his didn't just appear out of nowhere. He'd worked hard for it and it kind of came with his job.

Your hands wandered and came to a stop on the back of his neck when he leaned close to you, cock nudging your entrance. You both let soft gasps when he let himself slide along your slick pussy, legs wrapping themselves around his body. Alejandro's breath stuttered when he buried his face against your neck, sliding himself home and making you clench on instinct. He made a sound in his throat at the sudden tightness and warmth, arms wrapping around your torso to hold you as close to him as possible.

"God, you feel so good." His voice was hushed, spoken warmly against your cheek and you turned your head to press a kiss to his lips as he bottomed out inside of you.

"You feel huge." You said, not really meaning to vocalize your thoughts out loud but it made Alejandro laugh in your ear.

"Oh, really?" He pulled back and thrust back in slowly, making you moan. "Like that?"

You nodded your head, leaning your head back against the pillow and closing your eyes. Alejandro built up a rhythm, hips meeting your flesh with every thrust he made as he started fucking into you. It had been a few weeks, enough for you to forget how incredibly thick he was. Even though you'd pushed out a baby, and had four year to get used to his size, it just... Never got easier. It did mean that he could stretch you out so deliciously good that you'd feel it for days after. Like the time when you'd had Rudy staying over for a few days and he'd noticed your limp in the morning as you went to prepare the coffee machine. He hadn't outright said anything, too embarrassed to point out your funny walk, but it had been written all over his face when you'd turned around to face him. You didn't know why you ever thought you could hide it from someone like him. Alejandro still found it hilarious to this day.

"He estado pensando en ti." Your husband nosed along your cheek before giving you a kiss.

You knew he thought of you often, but it never failed to warm your heart because you always thought about him whether he was away or at home. And that's exactly what you voiced out loud.

"Pienso en ti siempre." You spoke against his lips, watching as his lips stretched into a breath taking smile.

He gave a thrust, mouth dropping open into a sinful O and you watched, mesmerized. It was clear he wasn't far from orgasming, thrusts faltering a little as he started speeding up. You moaned and grabbed at his shoulder, letting him nip at your throat and press filthy kisses against your lips as he fucked into you. It was only a matter of time, the slickness of your pussy and the clenching set him on edge; Made him bare his teeth like an animal. It was hard to look away when he sat himself up and grabbed at your knees to push your legs up and to your stomach, growling low in his throat at the tightness around his cock. He looked breath takingly beautiful, bushy eyebrows scrunching up and eyes fluttering shut when he tilted his head back.

A couple of thrusts into you and he gasped into the vastness of the room, breath stuttering as he came inside of you. You grabbed at his arms, pulled him down into you and kissed him just so he could moan freely into your mouth without waking up your kid in the other room. He slowly recovered, body quivering and twitching whenever you'd clench involuntarily around his sensitive cock and you ran your fingers softly through his damp hair as he gradually came down from his high.

You grimaced against the top of his head when he slowly pulled himself out of you with a hiss, and he must've felt you tense up a bit because he placed a gentle kiss to your naked shoulder.

"Lo siento." He moved his head from your chest to pull your night gown over your exposed chest and the straps up your shoulders.

You were too tired to protest when he eventually moved off of you, making his way to the adjoining bathroom to clean himself up. It took a moment and you didn't realize that you'd dozed off until you jolted awake when the mattress dipped. Alejandro whispered an apology, to which you gave him a sleepy smile, and then went to work on cleaning you up with a damp rag. He threw it to the side when he was done and made himself comfortable right beside you.

"I'm happy you're home." You broke the silence with a sleepy whispered confession.

Alejandro gently pulled you into his arms, nuzzling his face into the back of your neck with a happy sigh.

"Me too, mi amor."

[sorcharavenlock]

43. Surprise! (part 1)

It is early morning and I am still fast asleep in bed.

Loki is already up, sneaking around, rummaging through the boxes in the basement.

Quietly, he decorates the house...

…while Becca finishes her own surprise.

Loki hums to himself as he prepares breakfast. But before he can take the plate with scrambled eggs on toast upstairs, I have made my way into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I ask curiously.

"Surprise!"

"Happy Birthday, darling!"

I don't know what to say. I'm not used to people making a big fuss about my birthday!

"Happy Birthday, mum!"

Becca gives me the sweater she finished knitting only moments before.

We have breakfast together. "Please tell me you aren't making a big deal out of today?" I beg the two co-conspirators.

"We'll just have a few guest over, that's all," Loki winks.

Loki looks after the animals while Becca does the dishes. They make it clear I'm not allowed to do any chores this day!

Once Becca has left the kitchen, I fire up the oven. If we are having guests over, I should at least bake a cake...

I finish just in time before Loki shoos me up the stairs. "Go and get ready, your guests will be here soon!"

Nea is already there by the time I get downstairs.

"Happy Birthday, Marianna! Wow, you look amazing!" says Nea, who looks stunning in her little black dress. I blush, I'm not used to compliments.

"Oh my, you look ravishing!" Loki echoes Nea's words when he comes down the stairs shortly after, looking amazing in his black suit.

Kitty and Dean are the next to arrive.

"Happy Birthday, sweetie!" Kitty gives me a big hug.

I can't believe it, all my favourite people are here!

That isn't the end of the guests arriving though, Bruce Banner arrives shortly after, followed by Valentin. Peter Parker isn't far behind!

"Did you invite Valentin?" Nea whispers at Kitty. She wasn't expecting to see him here. "Yes, I dropped by his house a few days ago with an invitation," Kitty winks.

"kitty!" Nea hisses.

"What?" Kitty asks innocently.

I blow out the candles on the cake. (Never mind my face here, it's hilarious! 😂)

It might be autumn but the weather is gorgeous. Soon, the party is in full swing!

Nea can't keep her eyes off Valentin:

Even Loki can't manage to get her attention:

And Kitty can't keep her eyes of Dean either!

As it gets darker it becomes clear: romance is in the air!

"I didn't expect you here tonight," Nea confessed to Valentin.

"I was invited. Besides, I thought it might be a chance to see you again."

"Wait, you are here because you wanted to see me again?" Nea fails to hide the smile that creeps up on her face.

"Why are you so surprised? I told you we'd meet again," Valentin smiles.

"Besides, there's something I have been wanting to do for quite a while..." Valentin adds.

0 notes

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

Thanks, I appreciate the response. Also for the record this ask can wait a couple days till you've had time to rest and unwind and get into a better place. Like no harm will come from a delayed response, I'm doing my version of fine today and even at my lowest I'm really not in danger

Like just to be clear, the nice thing about text is it can wait, and this is very long. Without any self sacrificing nonsense I'm saying it can wait. Get yourself into a good space, once you're in that space look after your actual patients first, I'm alright and can wait and won't be hurt by waiting

Also just wanted to say that if you ever want I'm totally happy to come off anon and chat. I can't do anything specific, but I can listen and hopefully validate and at kind of seem like I actually heard. It's really just active listening stuff, but I'd be happy to do that and prefer it to talking about what's on my mind

If you do want to take me up on that offer, it doesn't have to wait till you've responded to this

Anyway, hope you have a nice day

That said... hmm... I guess this takes a bit of backstory so I'll try to make it quick

I don't have a job, never managed to get one, just volunteering stuff. I did however get a bit of inheritance from a great aunt which I managed to leverage into the last affordable house in this state. $90k and my dream home, but that's part of why I'm 50 miles from everything. I don't mind it cause I never went out anyway, but that's how you afford a house these days

I've never had a good relationship with my mom for a lot of reasons, but I ended up having to let her move in with me just cause she cost me too much when left alone (like the time I had to scrape together $6k to pay off a payday loan). So it works, and like bills are paid with the disability I helped her get on, but there's a lot of negative past emotions at work here

Almost to what I actually want to talk about

So I drink gallon mason jars of tea. Water out here kind of sucks, leave a tea bag in the water kind of processes it for me. I'm upstairs, my mom's downstairs, and she doesn't do anything at all around the house except cooking and dishes. We have an agreement where she'll refill one of my 2 jars with tea and stick it in the fridge

Well if ever both jars are empty at the same time she has a melt down about what a horrible person she is. I don't make a big deal about it, but she makes a huge deal out of it. I can never bring up any problems I ever have cause she'll have a melt down, and even this I have to worry that if she didn't fill some tea that maybe I just shouldn't drink so much so she doesn't freak out about 2 empty jars

No we get to what I actually wanted to vent about

I tell my friend (same one I mentioned last time) how frustrating this is for me, how it's like if someone tells me something I did wrong, that may make me feel bad, but if I just go "oh I'm a horrible person" it makes me impossible to deal with. Like it just gets frustrating dealing with this

My friend responds with that my mom probably doesn't mean to do this and is just upset and overwhelmed and it's just like...

I mean of course, but also like that doesn't mean you don't hurt people. I try to thank people when they bring a problem to my attention, even if I hate it, just to not be my mom. Just cause I know what it's like to be met with "oh god!"

And like... can anyone ever take my side on anything. Can anyone ever just trust me? Like maybe if my mom weren't my mom and hadn't made it so the idea of family repulses me so bad I can't even be close to my dad who I like, that I'd get a lot of what's going on for her and be sympathetic

I don't know... despite maneuvering this house into existence and being good with money my mom's always second guessing me and treating me like an idiot. Just no one seems to be able to just trust me

I don't know... I like this friend a lot, I care deeply about her. If she ever takes me up on it she'll always have a free room here, cause wanting to help her get out from her parents and be making her own choices is part of what motived me to keep looking for a house even when obviously it looked bleak

I just... I mean I could use some help, I could use someone to come around and teach me all this stuff I'm having to make up for my self like how to clean. I wing it, and I wish I didn't have to, but that seems unlikely

So short of that I just wish people would trust me and... not try and give advice since... hmm... it's hard for me to say this about myself, but frankly if I showed you the cleaning I did on my mom's trailer and then you take managing to get a house, I move at an ent's pace, but I'm kind of a miracle worker in the long run

When I don't listen to expectations and do things my way, they work out really well. I take other people's thoughts into consideration (my grandpa was always scripting for people and I saw how crazy it made him), hell this house was something my mom suggested we look at when I was saying maybe we needed to move to a cheaper state, but like... I have a better grasp on things than people treat me like I have

Just get tired... I'm always saying to people when I listen to them, I'll slip in that I think they're doing a good job, that I think they're valuable, that they matter

Aside from just being "nice"... I don't know, no one says that stuff to me. I'm nice, and once an optometrist's assistant said I had nice eyes (I assume structurally, cause she had someone else come look at them through one of their gadgets)

I just want to be treated like I'm wanted. I just want to be treated like I'm trusted. A lot of this, if I told you why I don't get along with my mom, I think it's more or less textbook neglect symptoms I have. I wish people would trust me on my mental health too

I wish people would work with me. I wish they'd communicate what they want. That friend who has the room her if she wants it, for a while she was talking about just booking a ticket and getting away from her parents, but then I never heard about it again and I don't know why. If I knew why maybe I could do something to accommodate, but no one communicates with me

I don't know... doesn't matter. I'm slowly almost coping enough to get myself to do the tasks I want done, though I'm still bad at it. I've got one last bit of cleaning left before I move onto stage 2. It's been months, it's just so overwhelming I can't work on it or... something... don't know why I can't do things, but I've almost fixed it

None of it really matters, history shows I'll make it work, history shows my emotions don't really matter. I will probably build myself a good life

I'll just be totally alone and proved right that I'm unlovable, and be even more bitter than I am now (which sounds so miserable and I'd rather die), but just like now I'll do everything I can to avoid letting that bitterness show and venting it on people

...I'm not sure that there was a point to this, but there it is. I'm still thinking about the whole telling you where I am, mostly because my webcam/mic set up is janky and I worry I'd be too anxious to actually talk to someone using it, too embarassed

Sorry for the ungodly amount of words. I always talk too much once I start talking

The offer to listen is sincere and on the table, and I can promise zero judgement on whatever you might say. I don't know... hopefully you took my advice and waited to read this till you were doing better

Take care

I think a lot of people assume that when someone vents to them about what another person is doing that's hurtful, it's because they haven't yet considered why the other person might be doing those things.

But for a lot of us, other people's motivations and machinations are literally All We Think About. So there's no comfort in being told "she's probably just overwhelmed and doesn't mean it" because OF COURSE that's probably true and the problem isn't that you are unaware of this, it's that when YOU'RE overwhelmed and say something you don't mean, suddenly all the compassion about "well consider it from their point of view" goes out the window. It starts to feel like there is no right way for you to exist, only ways that will draw slightly less attention (and therefore slightly less harm) from the people around you. Which is a shitty, miserable way to live. And it's really nice when you have someone in your life who just....doesn't assume you're venting because you haven't considered the other person's perspective? Sometimes intent is fucking irrelevant and what I need to comfort myself is not an assurance that the other person "didn't mean it" but an acknowledgement that yeah it fucking sucks to deal with this, especially when I put SO MUCH EFFORT into being kind and gentle and accommodating and supportive even when I am just spitting mad.

I'm actually doing a lot better! Thank you for your attention to how I might internalize or cope with your ask, it's very kind of you to reassure me that there's no rush to respond. I like text based communication for the same reasons you described. No pressure to respond quickly means being able to formulate and think, which is great especially as someone who struggles with both of my native tongues. It also means that the messages that ultimately get sent are more meaningful and connected for me, which I really like, not to mention circumnavigating the auditory processing disorder.

I hope you do come off anon someday and chat because you seem like a lovely person, and while I'm not in dire need of someone to talk to about my problems at this point in my life, I do really enjoy rattling on in excessive detail about irrelevant things, and hearing others do the same.

I do try to be really careful about offering my own ear to others, because I know that as a therapist it can be tough for me to turn off clinical mode while listening, but if you don't mind gently nudging me when I've done so too much, I'd love to be a part of your system of support.

[scuttle-buttle]

What's One More?

WC: 3204

Rated: M

Tags: brief mentions of crime/mental illness/child abuse and neglect/substance addiction/theft, fluff, family dynamics, mentions of aging, mentions of difficult pregnancy, softness, anxiety attack

🧠

The harsh vibrating of a phone on the nightstand breaks your slumber. Still half asleep you toss your arm back to thump against your sleeping husband's side. With a groan he answers. You try to settle back into your pillow and the warmth of the blanket. Whoever has the balls to call at this hour has another thing coming - but later because your priority is going back to sleep.

He can't have been on the call more than fifteen seconds before he sits up in bed suddenly, turning on the bedside lamp; his movements grab your attention. You roll over. The light blinds you and you rub at your eyes to adjust. You can't make out what's being said. Looking at the clock to see that it's barely 4 am you know something bad has happened. Quietly you slip out from the covers.

Making your way down the hall you peek into your daughter's room, grateful that she's still fast asleep. Her soft snores punctuate the calm. Your nerves abate knowing she’s safe. By the time you get back to the bedroom Laszlo is up and getting dressed. "What's going on?"

He doesn't answer at first. You wait until he's finished buttoning his shirt to ask again. "Sara was called to consult on a triple homicide case - she's asked for me to come down to the police station. I don't know much yet, but it's something involving a young boy and she wants me to speak with him."

“Did he…?”

“No. He was not directly involved, that much we know.”

You nod, leaning against the door frame. This wasn't the first time that Laszlo had been called in by law enforcement and social services to assist with children and teens that needed psychological help. He had become more active around the time you graduated with your doctorate. After Sophia was born Laszlo helped fund an after school program for kids that focused on support for mental health and behavioral issues. He was so passionate about being able to help these kids. But it was never at this ungodly hour. "You'll call or something when you know what's up?" you ask through a yawn.

"Of course, Bärchen." He gives you a chaste peck. Gently he guides you back towards your bed and sits you down. "Go back to sleep, there's no need to worry. I love you." With that he left.

Your sleep is fitful with him gone. You worry over things that you aren't even aware of, over who is hurt, over how severe a situation it could be to have been called in the middle of the night, over the poor boy that needs Laszlo’s help. When your daughter tiptoes into the room around 6 you welcome her into the bed with open arms.

"Why are you up, baby bug?"

"Where's Papa?" She climbs up on his side of the bed and rubs his cold pillow. On her face is a deep frown.

"He had to go help some very important people early this morning. He'll be back to see you soon, I promise."

"I miss him. He always helps me with my shoes."

You can't help the smile that crosses your face. "I know, baby. But it's still early so let's take a nap before we have to get ready, hmm?" The two of you snuggle under the covers. With her curled into your side you do find rest, even for the short time before your alarm chimes.

The day moves sluggish as you wait for word from your husband. Little work was to be done today at the museum, so there wasn't much to keep your mind off the wondering. You considered calling. You considered texting. But you knew that when the time was right he would let you know. No news is good news, you think.

Finally the day came to a close. You picked up Sophia and stopped by the store on the way home to grab supplies for dinner. She insisted that she carry one of the bags inside - little miss independent that she was. “Careful not to drop it, okay? Use those muscles of yours to hold the bag tight.”

“Mama I know, I help Papa carry all the time,” she explains matter-of-factly.

The townhouse is quiet as you begin to unpack. You do a quick glance into the dining room and parlor to no avail. "Laz, honey? You home?" A few seconds later you hear movement from the stairs.

Your husband rounds the corner into the kitchen, swooping down to scoop your daughter into his left arm, peppering her face in exaggerated smooches. Her giggles light up the room from the dim atmosphere. He perches her on his hip. “How was your day my little dove?”

“So good Papa - I practiced my counting today at school. I can get the biggest in the class! Mommy said I must be the most smartest," she prattles on.

“Wunderbar!” he praises her before turning to you. “I didn't hear you come in." Laszlo kisses you.

Pinning him with a look you say "you also didn't call me today? You said you would and I've been worried all day."

Sophia crosses her arms and harrumphs from her father's hip; "me too Papa." He quirks an eyebrow at her before speaking.

"Yes… there is something I wished to speak with you on but didn't think it was suitable for the phone." You raise your own brows but continue to put away groceries. "I do not wish to discuss certain aspects of the case in present company-" he nods towards Sophia minutely "-but we do have a houseguest for the foreseeable future."

"Oh?" Your brows dip in confusion. This is not what you were expecting.

Laszlo peeks around the doorway and calls out "Stevie, would you come join us in the kitchen please."

Stevie? You don't know a Stevie...

A moment later a lanky boy with scruffy dark blond hair shuffles into the room. He can't be anymore than 15. His clothes are too big on him and his shoes are worn beyond belief; nevertheless he gives you a slight smile. “This is Stevie Taggert, he’s going to be staying here with us in the guest room for now.”

“Good evening Mrs. Kreizler,” the boy says nervously, his voice cracking.

You spare a look at your husband before turning to the teenager with a smile. “Ah, no need for that, kid. You can just call me by my name instead. And welcome to our home. You like spaghetti?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Awesome! And I’m certainly not old enough to be a ma’am,” you give him a wink. You set up a pot to boil the water for the pasta. Laszlo excused himself to spend some time with Sophia, leaving you and Stevie in the kitchen.

He clears his throat behind you. “Would um… is there anything I can do to help?”

"I would love that, thank you."

The two of you get to work on making dinner. Stevie doesn’t say too much, but he is very polite and does his best to be useful. Once the food is nearly finished your family has returned ready to eat. You send Stevie and Sophia to set the table.

“Should I be worried?” you ask Laszlo quietly, watching the doorway the two left through.

“I don’t think so. I just felt that I would rather he have a familiar face to adjust with instead of being placed in a group home like many end up.”

You study his face. “You’ve taken a liking to him haven’t you?”

“Well…" his face reddens at your question. "He reminds me a bit of myself when I was his age.” The conversation is cut short by the kids returning.

The rest of dinner and the evening goes smoothly. You make it a point to not bring up any questions that could trigger the teenager, especially before you’ve spoken with Laszlo about the situation at hand. When Stevie nearly eats his weight in pasta you say nothing, wondering how long it's been since he's had a good home cooked meal. He insists on helping clean up the dishes afterwards. Without even knowing what the boy has gone through your heart aches for him.

You set him up in the small renovated basement downstairs while Laszlo puts Sophia to bed. Handing him one of your husband’s old Harvard t-shirts to sleep in you tell him “I’m sorry you’ll be down here by yourself, but if you need us for anything don’t be afraid to come get us - no matter what time it is, okay? And if you get cold there’s an extra blanket right here for you. I know it's July but….” you shrug. “Tomorrow after I get home from work we can go to the store and get you some stuff to use, some more clothes, that kinda thing.”

“Yes ma’am.” At the teasing look you give him his ears burn red with his mumbled “right sorry.”

“Alright Stevie. We’ll see you in the morning, sleep well.”

Laszlo is in bed reading when you enter the room. Nothing is said as you ready yourself for bed. Slipping under the covers you face him. He sighs and closes his book.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I became caught up in the day and only arrived home with Stevie maybe half an hour before you did.” He sighs a second time. “Most of the case I cannot talk about, but what I can say is he was living with his mentally ill father, whom was also an addict. He missed the last few weeks of the school year and has been regularly stealing food to get by. He has no other family. I just… it didn’t feel right to let him process his experiences away from someone properly trained to deal with these sorts of things, in addition to how traumatic entering foster care at his age can be. I spoke with those in social services and was granted temporary custody until we find another more permanent solution.”

“Of course.”

He takes hold of your hand. “You aren’t upset with me?”

“I mean it would’ve been nice to have a bit more warning… but I get it. He can stay as long as he needs to. He’s a sweet kid,” you reassure him. “I told him that I would take him shopping after work tomorrow, so if you could pick up Soph from preschool that would be great.”

“Perhaps instead we can all go? I was thinking that I would bring him to the university with me so that he’s not alone all day. You could get her and then we could meet somewhere, get dinner afterwards?”

You lean closer to him to curl around his arm and rest your head on his shoulder. He always thought so much about others, especially children. Laszlo had such a heart of gold and it honestly left you in awe of just how much he was willing to give so that others could find peace and happiness. Like the older he got the more he had to give. The thought warms you. “How are you literally the best person I know? And to think you used to be so worried about being able to be a good father and now you’re the best of all of us.” He huffs a little as you nuzzle into his chest.

“I have you to thank for that, Bärchen.” He drops a kiss to your head. “But it’s getting late and I’ve been up all day. We should get some sleep.”

Soon after you're both dreaming.

___

Stevie had been with you for three weeks. It only took him a few days to start to settle in, and you discovered that he was quick with his wit and far smarter than he let on. He was a little bit of a sarcastic smart-ass at times, but all in good nature. He was endlessly entertaining. Laszlo sat down with him almost everyday to talk about what he was feeling, the things he experienced, and ways to deal with the loss of his family. Already you both saw improvement.

Even Sophia got on well with him. Most teenage boys wanted nothing to do with little kids, let alone a 4 year old that loved playing 'spaceship barbie'. But not Stevie. On his fifth day you'd found him sat on the floor playing with her and going along with her childlike imagination. When she insisted he play the barbie that needed saving he went along with it, high pitched voice and everything. He even encouraged her to pick up her toys before bed - a feat you and your husband struggled with at times. It struck you how much Stevie became a big brother of sorts to her.

Laszlo grew even more fond of the boy. He wasn't really one for TV, but every evening he sat and watched some show on Netflix about racing with the teen and didn't complain once. Laszlo had tried to explain the role of adrenaline in racing drivers as a psychological function, but Stevie just brushed it off and said it was the driving so fast that made it "cool".

The two did bond over an unlikely subject - punk rock. When you got home from work two weeks into his stay and heard the music blasting in the parlor you worried someone had broken in. Whipping into the room you saw Laszlo in his chair tapping his foot to the intense guitar and singing; Stevie nodded along to the music as he held an old album cover. It didn't take long for Sophia to start jumping along to the music too.

"What is this?" You yelled out over the bass - you couldn't recognize it and it clearly wasn't English.

"Die Toten Hosen, a band I listened to growing up in Germany. Stevie found the record and asked to listen."

"Listen? I think you mean blow out your eardrums!" Even with needing to shout to be heard you had to laugh at the situation. How your husband had a secret love for German punk you'll never know; yet you would never let him live it down.

And when Stevie came and woke you both up in tears three nights ago you made him hot chocolate while Laszlo sat down with him. He confessed that he had never been treated or cared for like he was in your home. How he wished he could stay because he felt wanted. Your heart broke for the boy. To be so young and so lost, craving someone to simply be there for him.

Yet everyday he grew more open. He broke out of his shell. He had goals and ambitions; he wanted to amount to something bigger than he had thought he ever could. It almost shocked you at how much fire was within him.

At how much he fit in with your little family.

At how it was like he was meant to be there.

___

Laszlo was oddly quiet when you got home. Sophia had run off to find Stevie, and you tracked your husband down to his office. He listened as you talked about your day for a good ten minutes; he said almost nothing the whole conversation.

You move closer to him. Placing the back of your hand to his forehead you check to see if he's feverish or sick. He didn't feel warm. "Laz, are you feeling okay?"

He gently pulls your hand down and leaves a kiss on your palm. "The department of social services called this morning to inquire about what we want to do with Stevie. This would be the third time they have asked."

He hadn't mentioned it to you at all that they were calling already. "Okay. What do you think we should do?" You pause for him to continue.

"I told them I would need to speak with you before any further decisions were made regarding him…" His fingers tap against the wood of his desk. "I'm not sure I have an answer for them. Nor for you." He swallows. "I'm afraid of what might become of him should he go into the system. Or that he will not get the support he needs given his past. Any option involving allowing him to stay for a bit longer is a commitment I won't make without your full support, of course. I could never ask that of you." As he speaks you can hear the frustration pouring from him, feel the irritation radiating through the room. "I refuse to give up on him- I- I just don't have the answers on what to do without them hounding me and he deserves better than this, dammit."

"He does… Do you remember on your 50th birthday, what you told me?" Laszlo looks up at you confused. "You said that you had wished you were ten years younger so you had the energy and time to do all of it again. That if you were younger we would've had a whole gaggle of kids - brothers and sisters for Sophia."

"Wishing I was younger doesn't make a difference in helping Stevie-"

"Laszlo - let's adopt him." Your words stop him in his tracks. You had decided not to have any more after your daughter was born. Laszlo was nearing 50 and the pregnancy had been hard on you. But regardless you knew that you both had the means and the love to give another child, probably five or ten more children if you really wanted to. So why not start with one that's already wormed his way in to the family? "I've seen how fond you are of him already. You've taken him under your wing as if he was your own. And how good he is with Sophia? Hell I couldn't ask for a better older sibling for her - and she loves him already. And honestly, Laz, I do too."

"You think we should adopt Stevie?"

"I think we should ask, yeah. He deserves a good home and a strong father figure that's going to put him first. He looks at you like you hung the stars, Laszlo. He needs us, and truthfully I think we need him. So yeah - what's one more added to this little shindig we've got going for us?"

"Have you-"

"-thought it through? Yes. Completely."

You can see the smile he fights to hold back. "We should call tomorrow and see what the protocol is for stating our intent to adopt and getting the paperwork."

"Um…" You shuffle your feet. Nose scrunched, you confess "I may have already called them. On the way from work I asked about what would need to be done if we wanted to pursue that route, but since they already know who we are from you working with them for years it can be fast tracked." You pull him out of his chair to stand before you. "All we have to do is say 'go'."

He has no hesitation.

"Go."

Laszlo doesn't hold back his smile or his laughter as he spins you around his office floor. You're certain your children downstairs can hear your giggles.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @that-one-fandom-kid @hb8301 @fandom-princess-forevermore @foggycandywitch @creme-bruhlee @andy-rocks @nonamec0s @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @uncomfortablebagel @rachelicouss @wisia02

[itsadamcole]

but ... it’s valentine’s day

fem!reader x jon moxley

reader loves Valentine's Day, but Jon isn't the biggest fan of the holiday and he makes sure everyone knows that ...

word count: 2.2k+

warnings: kinda fluffy, public touching and a little teasing, smut

— we’re gonna ignore the fact that this is being posted almost 2 months late. okay? okay. —

masterlist || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You walk back to your locker room after your match with Britt Baker. You're all sweaty and feel gross, even after you've wiped most of the sweat away. The match was for the number one contender's tournament, and you lost but you're happy for your best friend since she advanced, even if it was because she beat you.

The door closes behind you and you fall onto the little loveseat with a sigh. You close your eyes for a second, literally one second, when the door opens and you hear your boyfriend ask, "Why does everyone make a huge deal about Valentine's Day?"

"It's a day to show some extra love to your significant other," you say, closing your eyes again. "Balloons, chocolates, and romantic dates. You know, it's a thing."

Jon sits beside you and says, "I can give you balloons, chocolates, and romantic dates any day of the week."

You look over at him and say, "You haven't given me balloons or chocolates. Romantic dates, yes, but not the balloons or chocolates."

He blinks at you and says, "I don't have to give you balloons or chocolates. I give you the hottest sex you'll ever have, whenever you want."

"You do," you giggle. "Maybe I'd like some chocolates and balloons today though."

Your boyfriend moves closer to you and puts a hand on your thigh. "Or," he says, kissing your jaw. "I can just give you some hot sex again." A sigh escapes your lips and you smile.

Jon rubs your thigh a bit as you say, "I have to shower and I do want to at least do dinner tonight since it is Valentine's Day. Then after that, all the hot sex you want, baby."

He looks at you and asks, "Can I join you in the shower?"

"As long as you promise you won't try anything and actually let me shower," you tell him, standing up.

Jon nods and says, "I promise, baby."

He doesn't keep his promise. Not at all.

***

You get home after Jon turned a 20 minute shower into an hour-long shower. Dinner is very late because you had a match, and because of the long shower, but you still get dressed up to go out. You dress into a two piece red dress. The top is lacey, almost see through and has long sleeves. The neck dips low, revealing a lot of your cleavage, and it's cut like a crop top. It hugs your body. You know Jon will love that, especially since it reveals a decent amount. He'll also love the fact that the skirt is short and tight. You put on red heels and put your hair up in a high ponytail, adding some light makeup after. Not too much though.

Just so you can use it against Jon later, you don't wear any underwear. You're completely commando.

Jon waits downstairs for you. He sits on the couch and scrolls through his phone. You click into the living room and clear your throat. "Ready?" you ask.

Your boyfriend looks up from his phone and his eyes almost bug out of his head. "Damn, baby," he says. "I don't know if I can make it through dinner with you looking like that."

You walk over to him and stand behind him. He's looking back at you as you lean down, putting your hands on his shoulders. You say, "I have a surprise for you after dinner, but you have to be good. Okay?"

Jon says, "I can't promise you that. Look at what happened last time I promised you I wouldn't do anything."

"Touche," you giggle. "Come on. Dinner then sex, I promise."

Your boyfriend reluctantly gets up and leaves with you to go to dinner.

Both of you decided on the way home that you would just go to a nice place that wouldn't be completely booked since it's late on Valentine's Day. Most couples would be home by now so you're hopeful to get a table pretty quickly.

You do have to wait a little bit. You sit with Jon in the waiting area on a comfortable bench that's cushioned. Jon sits very close to you. You look over at Jon, saying, "You better not do anything, Jon. Or no present for you."

He holds his hands up and says, "I'm not doing anything to you, baby. I promise. See? Hands are up and I'm not touching you."

A smile forms on his lips and you shake your head, a smile forming on yours. "You are really testing it," you say.

"I'm not testing anything," he says. "But I still don't get romantic dates on Valentine's Day. I can take you out whenever you want to. Why couldn't we stay home and have sex or something."

You say, "Because Valentine's Day is about spending the day doing romantic stuff. Not about how hard you can fuck me, Jon. I know how hard you can fuck me and I've learned the hard way just how hard you can fuck me."

He snickers a bit and says, "You really couldn't walk for the rest of the day."

Laughing, you say, "I couldn't. That was your fault."

Jon smirks, proud of himself. You take his hand and rest your head on his shoulder.

Soon after, your name is called. A table is ready, and the hostess leads you to the table. Jon sits adjacent to you and you begin looking over the menu.

Younger couples surround you in the restaurant. The couple that are parents are probably home with their kids at this point.

A waitress comes up to you and Jon, saying, "Hi, my name is Andi and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I get y'all to drink?" She has a slight southern accent.

Jon says, "A bottle of your finest wine for the table, please."

"Anything for you, darlin'," the waitress says, writing down Jon's request. You blink at the waitress as she walks off.

You continue to look over the menu, trying to find something to eat. It's a fancy restaurant so there are steaks and there are pasta dishes. You're not really in the mood for anything specific.

The waitress comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Okay, what can I get y'all to eat?" she asks.

You say, "I'll have the broccoli chicken alfredo. Can I get some extra alfredo sauce on that please?"

She nods and asks, "And for you, handsome?"

That little comment made you a little angry, you won't lie. You stare at Jon and he says, "I'll take a 12 ounce sirloin steak with mushrooms and onions. And for the sides, I'd like a loaded baked potato and french fries."

He got french fries. He knows you love french fries and he knows you'll snack on them. A smile forms on your lips.

The waitress nods and walks off. You pout a bit at Jon.

"What's wrong, babe?" Jon asks, looking at you. "Are you feeling okay? Sore from your match?"

You say, "She was flirting with you."

Jon reaches out and tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear before he says, "I didn't notice. My girlfriend is looking sexy right beside me."

Blood rushes to your cheeks, warming them. Jon laughs as you blush. "It's not funny," you say.

"You're cute," Jon says. "And I love you."

You smile a bit and say, "Okay, fine. I love you too."

He leans over and pecks your lips. When he pulls back, you lean into him and press a longer kiss to his lips. One of Jon's hands slip between your thighs under the table. You put your elbows on the table and put your head in your hands. You look at Jon as his fingers slip further up your skirt.

A soft gasp leaves your lips as Jon surprisingly discovers you're not wearing any underwear. A mischievous smirk forms on his lips. "You're leaving yourself vulnerable to me, Y/N," Jon starts.

"You are not fingering me in the middle of a restaurant," you loud whisper at him. "So help me, Moxley. No surprise for you."

Jon chuckles and he just plays with your clit under the table. You have bite your lip to stay quiet. You feel yourself getting more wet with every movement of his fingers. This goes on until your meals get to the table.

Both of you are very turned on at this point because of him teasing you and touching you under the table so after you're done eating, Jon pays the bill and quickly leaves with you. You get in the car, and Jon gets in too. He drives to your shared house. You've taken off your heels by this point so you can get inside quicker.

It takes about two seconds for Jon's lips to find yours as soon as the door is closed. He presses your back against the door as you start to unbutton the buttons on his nice button-up that he wore to dinner. He quickly sheds the shirt and it drops to the floor. Your tongue slides into his mouth.

Jon's hands are on your thighs before he picks you up. You wrap your legs around his waist as Jon walks into the living room. He drops you on your back on the couch, breaking the kiss. You sit up and undo the button on his pants. You can see the very obvious bulge in his boxers when you pull his pants down. You trace the print of his dick for a second before you pull the boxers down.

You gently begin to stroke his member. Jon sighs softly before grabbing a handful of your hair. "Be nice and suck it," he almost commands.

"I didn't hear a 'please'," you say, smirking.

Jon says, "The only time you'll hear the word 'please' tonight is when I'm fucking you and you beg me for more."

The dirty talk is definitely a turn on for you. You bite your lip and take his dick in your hand before you take him in your mouth. You begin bobbing your head, using your hand for what can't fit in your mouth. Jon's hand is still in your hair as he begins to thrust into your mouth.

You hum around him. You know that drives Jon crazy. Your hands are on his thighs and you grip a little bit. Jon grabs your ponytail and tilts your head back after a moment, his member sliding out of your mouth. You stare up at him and wait for him to do something.

Jon takes off the top of your two piece dress before taking the skirt off. He smirks when he sees that you’re now completely naked. He knows you went completely commando under your dress.

“You’re so bad, Y/N,” Jon tells you.

You grab his wrists and pull him onto you. He braces himself on the back of the couch and looks at you. “I had to learn from someone, didn’t I?” you say innocently.

He pushes you onto your back and puts your legs over his shoulders. “I know you learned from me, Y/N,” he says.

A smile forms on your lips as Jon lines himself up with your entrance. Without warning, he slams into you. It’s not as painful as it used to be because he almost always starts out like this when you have sex. You’ve gotten used to it, but it feels more pleasurable than painful.

“God, fuck,” you cuss. “Do it again.”

He listens to you and thrusts hard into you again. You moan out his name and grasp onto the couch cushions. Jon hovers above you as he begins to repeatedly slam into your core. Your moans are loud almost from the start.

Jon goes harder and harder every few thrusts. You gasp and moan. When he finds your g-spot, you scream, “Jon! Right there! Please don’t stop.”

Your moans and the sound of skin slapping fills the house. You grasp onto Jon’s arms, digging your nails into the skin as he fucks you.

A pit forms in your stomach and you know you’re close, but you still need to give Jon his Valentine’s Day present.

So, much to Jon’s surprise, you roll so you’re straddling his dick, which is still inside of him. Jon stares up at you and you begin to bounce up and down on his member. Your moans are loud and his hands are on your waist.

The pit in your stomach explodes without warning and you release around Jon, moaning his name. Jon cums inside of you, not wanting to dirty the couch cushions. You’re okay with it.

You collapse onto Jon’s chest. You bury your face in his neck and he wraps his arms around your shoulders. Both of you lay and catch your breaths.

“Best Valentine’s Day sex we’ve ever had,” Jon pants. “You need to top me more often, Y/N.”

A smirk forms on your lips and you say, “With pleasure.”

[lovingthereign25]

Never say Goodbye

Part 9

At work the only thing I could focus on was the flashbacks of last night with Joe and how good he made me feel. I was just about to open the door when I heard Lyndsey.

"You're early, you shit the bed?" I laugh

"Fuck you, I just dropped Josh off at Joe's apparently their gonna build Jojo a tree house" she shrugs

"Oh yeah Joe did mention that this morning" I say

"This morning?" She asked

"Yea at breakfast, he gonna surprise Jojo next weekend when she comes over" I say

"You were with Joe this morning, and you two had breakfast?" She asked

"Yea, I...umm I dropped by to check on him" I lie

"Liar, you spent the night at Joe's…..oh my God you slept together didn't you!?" She yells

"Lyndsey, shut up there's other people in here" I hushed her

"Sorry but you did , didn't you?" She asks

Just then my phone rings.

"Sorry I gotta take this " I smirk walking away

*A few days later*

I made my way downstairs with Noah placing him in his play area when the doorbell rings.

"Joe, hey come in." I smile

"Hey" he smiles back kissing my cheek

My lips met his, damn his lips were perfect. I pull away.

"Sorry I shouldn't have" I say

"Don't apologize, but Y/n we really need to talk." He says

"I know we do, Joe I don't regret what happened the other night, honestly it's all I been thinking about, I have feelings for you Joe" I blurt out

"Baby I don't regret it either, it's all I think about. I love you Y/n always have always will, I just need to know what's going to happen now with us?" He says

"I don't know, I love Derek but I love you too , I'm so confused, I was mad at Derek for dancing with the girl from work that's why I let my feelings for you get the best of me but Joe being with you felt perfect it felt right" I cry

"Hey, come on baby don't cry we are gonna figure this out I promise" he says kissing me.

Later that night I was at my mom's house. We were having dinner. She invited Joe over since he was with Josh.

My mom had made one of her famous dishes, chicken alfredo which Joe loved.

"Y/n, honey I'm going to need you to take the weekend off from the store" my mom says

" Why, weekends are our busy days" I say

" I need you to watch Josiah for Josh and Lyndsey, we're going to Jacksonville for her late birthday gift" she smiles

"Umm….okay I'll get Tiffany to take over" I say.

Under the table I feel Joe's hand on my thigh. I look over at him as he gives me a little wink.

*The weekend*

Derek had flown in, he surprised me at the house this morning for our anniversary, our 10 year anniversary...how could I forget it was our anniversary.

"Baby Girl it's okay, you've been busy, I've forgotten anniversaries, remember or 4th" he laughs.

" I know but this was a big one yanno, like a milestone" I say

"Y/n, it's still early we got the whole day, come on,go get dressed up nice I got something to show you" he smiles.

I finished getting ready in a dress I designed myself to grab my purse and take Noah's hand. Derek takes us to Palafox Wharf which was the same spot we had our wedding reception 10 years ago.

"Derek, I can't believe you brought me here." I smile

"I made reservations for us to have dinner on the beach" he smiles, kissing my hand.

We enter the venue, Derek giving the lady his name and asking us to follow her. She opens the door to the outside area and I see everyone I know: family, friends, co-workers from the past, and finally I lock eyes with the only one I was actually looking for, Joe.

My mom had thrown Derek and I this huge 10 year celebration and wanted to surprise me, and all I could think about was how good Joe looked.

The whole evening was great dancing, having a good time until our wedding song played and Derek and I were now slowly dancing to it. Derek's hand slipped to my backside and immediately my eyes met at Joe's… I continued to dance, making eye contact with Joe from time to time. I make my way to the bar to grab a drink I feel a hand on my back

"How is everything you do so sexy?" I turned to see Joe

" I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting Derek or the party" I explained.

"Y/n don't apologize, he is your husband, and right now I'm completely jealous that he gets to be the one to get you out of the dress later on tonight and not me" he smirks.

"Here let me give you a special treat." I smile, sliding my hand up my dress, bringing my hot pink thong down my legs, stepping out of it , and placing it in Joe's hand.

"The hell? Baby someone could have seen you" Joe whispers

"But no one did I wink

As I go to walk away I give my ass a little shake just for him. The rest of the night was great dancing, laughing, having a good time with family and friends every now and then I would sneak close to Joe to touch his hand or rub against him letting him know he had my attention too.

The next morning I put Noah for a nap, I was walking back to the kitchen when I over hear Derek on the phone once he notices he decided to end the conversation

"Nina, I gotta go send me the case information." He says hanging up.

"How is our dear friend Nina?" I ask

" Y/n…..she's fine it's strictly professional'' he says

" Yea, I saw it at the club a few days ago" I blurted out immediately regretting it.

"Baby, it was only a dance, how'd you know about the club anyway?" He asked

" Does it even matter? I saw my husband dirty dancing on a woman that wasn't me." I say

"Again baby it doesn't mean anything it was a dance" he says again.

" I have to run to Lyndsey and Josh's for the payroll. I'll be back " I say not wanting to further the conversation . When I get to my sister's house I noticed Joe's car was parked behind Lyndsey's I quickly fix my hair and go in

"Y/n, wasn't expecting you this early" Josh smiles

" Your wife owes me payroll" I say hugging him

" Well good morning to you too " she smirked

I scan the house looking for Joe trying not to make it obvious.

" He's in the garage grabbing some tools," Lyndsey whispers in my ear.

"Shut up I wasn't looking for him, I was checking for my nephews" I lie

" Yeah ok ...I'm gonna run upstairs to grab the paperwork for you" she laughs

I make my way to the garage seeing Joe loading up a tool bag with extra tools.

"Good morning" I smile

" Hey beautiful" he smiles back.

Within minutes our lips are attached, his hands roaming my body my hands around his neck…..I wanted him so bad…..and probably would have had him right there and then if we didn't here Josh

"Ahem" he clears his throat.

Joe and I pull away looking like deer in headlights.

"I should probably see where Lyndsey is" I say

I walk past Josh not making eye contact... knowing he is close to Derek.

" What the hell was that?" He asked Joe

" You already know what it was uce" Joe shrugs

" She's married Joe, happily until you came along" he says.

" Nah cuz that's where you're wrong, she ain't been happy for a while, and thinks Derek is having his own affair" Joe says

" So this makes it right?* Josh asks

" Nah but I love her uce, and I know she still loves me" he says.

[sofreddie]

Our Kind of Love 2

Summary: Jensen's having a hard time adjusting to the changes in their lives.

Characters: Alpha!Intersex!Danneel x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Intersex!Danneel x Beta!Jensen, Alpha!Jared x Omega!Gen

ABO BINGO: Small-statured Alpha

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Angst

Word Count: 1,339

A/N: For @spnabobingo square: Small-statured Alpha. Beta'd by @danneelsmain.

PART 1

Jensen had just finished making dinner as the ladies made their way downstairs, following the mouthwatering scents. Dani stopped in her tracks though, instinctively shielding Y/N behind her as she caught note of Jensen's bitterness.

"I figured you'd be hungry," Jensen sighed, leaning against the island after putting the finishing touches on the dishes. Lingering looks and stares passed between the three of them as the silence and tension drew out.

"Why don't we all sit together?" Dani suggested, guiding Y/N towards the island counter and onto one of the stools. She kept her head bowed, not wanting to further upset the agitated Beta.

He was a large man, imposing, and could easily be mistaken for an Alpha. Dani, on the other hand, looked like an Omega. She was slender and feminine, her delicate features something Y/N wanted to study for hours on end. Though Y/N suspected her Alpha could be a beast if warranted.

Jensen shook his head in disbelief, laughing humorlessly to himself before staring Dani in the eye, "I understand that you need your Omega. And I understand that you and I are still the same," he assured Dani, "But that doesn't mean I'm okay with it, that I'm okay sharing my wife."

"Jay-"

"No," he slammed his hand on the counter, his anger finally coming forth. His Beta senses suggested maybe challenging an Alpha wasn't his best move, but he ignored that part of him.

Y/N jumped in surprise and Dani grew defensive of her Omega, stepping closer to her to fend off the threat. Jensen scoffed.

"I can't do this right now," he shook his head, heading fast out of the kitchen. Dani ran after him, leaving Y/N sitting alone in the unfamiliar kitchen. After several moments of harsh whispers, Y/N heard the door slam, a distraught Dani returning.

Y/N's heart sank, feeling her Alpha's sadness. She wanted to go to her, comfort her Alpha. Dani sensed it and shook her head, moving to the other side of the counter and dishing up plates for them.

"You need to eat," she explained, sitting down next to Y/N.

"But…Jay-"

"He just needs some time to cool down," she sighed, pushing around the food on her plate, "He's gone to Jared's, I'm sure," she rolled her eyes.

Y/N got the feeling she wasn't really talking to her so much as just talking, "And he's worried about me having someone else. He and Jared are practically married! They spend more time together-" she stopped herself, closing her eyes, "Eat."

Y/N had a feeling there was a recurring argument on that topic. There was so much she didn't understand. Guilt and elation were equally weighing on her. How could she be happy if her Alpha was miserable? Maybe this was all a mistake.

Gen smiled as she answered the front door, her smile quickly fading once she saw Jensen. It wasn't that he was there, she was used to that. Jared and Jensen dropped in on each other all the time. What bothered her was his disheveled hair and clothes, the flush to his skin, and the fire in his eyes.

"What happened?" she asked, ushering him inside with an arm around his waist and shouting across the house for Jared. He came bounding into the room with a big grin until he saw Jensen.

Jared was pure Alpha, through and through, though he was very kind and warm. But when it came to family - and especially Jensen - his Alpha kicked into overdrive, ready to protect.

Jensen's eyes met Jared's and he felt about to cry, "Dani found her Omega."

Gen guided Jensen to sit on the couch, Jared moving to the drink cabinet and fixing a whiskey for them both.

"You need a drink," Jared offered him the glass and Jensen downed it in one go. Jared gave Jensen the other full glass before going back to the cabinet and pouring another for himself.

Jensen explained the whole thing, finishing off his second drink by the time he was done.

"She said she's not leaving," he began explaining as Gen Sat next to Jared on the loveseat, "S-she wants us both," he huffed.

"Are you worried about sharing her?" Gen asked.

"I don't want to share her," he admitted, "I don't want to get replaced either. I'm just a Beta."

"You're not just a Beta and you know that," Jared chastised, "I don't see why you're so upset. You're not losing Dani, you're gaining a second wife," he chuckled, "Dude, it could be Penthouse Forum up in there!"

"Jare!" Gen shoved him lightly and shook her head, "Would be kind of hot," she added after a pause, her mind now mulling over the details.

"Such a dirty little Omega," Jared growled, pecking her lips before Jensen cleared his throat, bringing them back to the conversation.

"Is everything a dirty joke to you?" Jensen teased, cracking the smallest of smiles.

"It wouldn't hurt to at least try to be friends with her," Gen said, "You're going to be spending the rest of your lives together," she let that settle into Jensen's mind. With Y/N and Dani mated and Dani and Jensen married, the three of them were going to have to learn to live together. He didn't want to admit that she was right, but she was.

Jensen stumbled into the house, yanking his keys from the door and trying to quietly shut and lock it behind him. A few hours and drinks later and he walked back home, Jared's house not far from his own.

He was grateful they sat and talked it out with him. When he first left, he wasn't sure if his marriage would last. Now at least he felt confident enough to come back home. He tried not to think of them likely cuddling and asleep upstairs.

Deciding he needed some water before passing out, he made his way to the kitchen. He almost didn't see Y/N sitting at the island with her own bottle of water.

"What are you doing down here?" Jensen asked, his tone tired and gentle as he retrieved his own bottle. He tossed the cap, taking several gulps before leaning back against the counter.

"Just got thirsty," she said, showing him the bottle. They both drank in awkward silence for a while.

"I don't hate you," Jensen finally spoke. Y/N's head popped up in surprise, "I don't really like you very much right now," he added, "But we're gonna have to try to get along, for Dani's sake.

"Jay-"

"My name's Jensen," he nearly growled out, "Jay's not for you."

"Jensen? Really?" Y/N chuckled, seeing him getting riled once more, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry."

"Is she okay?" he asked after another long pause between them.

"She's asleep," Y/N said, "She wasn't so great after you left. We laid together in the guest room for a while, but then she went back to her room I guess," she shrugged, but Jensen knew that had to hurt her.

He wanted to be happy about that, but he found he was only saddened by the rift between them. New mates were supposed to rejoice in their bond and Jensen had to go and ruin that with his tantrum.

"I'm gonna head to bed," Y/N hopped off the stool and tossed her empty bottle in the recycling, "You should go check on Dani," she offered as a final word before retreating upstairs. Jensen heard the guest room door click closed and he sighed.

He finished off his own water before heading upstairs into his bedroom. Dani was asleep on the bed in her usual spot and it made him smile. He stripped off his layers before climbing in bed behind her. She stirred and turned towards him, her eyes fluttering open.

"Jay?"

"Yeah, it's me," he said, accepting the desperate kiss she gave him, reciprocating in kind. They wordlessly settled into the bed and fell to sleep, both silently worrying over the Omega in the other room.

PART 3

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

@fangirlxwritesx67

@jarpad24

@flamencodiva

@flashxspn

[vickyvicarious]

Parker: "Teach me to like stuff."

.

Okay, so. I have some thoughts about The French Connection Job's Parker+Eliot subplot. And I think I wanna approach it separately, scene by scene from each of their perspectives, because we have a couple different things going on here. It's still a little more of a Parker meta than an Eliot meta, but I have enough to talk about on both sides, and they're connected enough not to be in separate metas, that I am going to do it this way.

Also going to put this under a cut because it gets long.

Parker

This whole subplot comes on the heels of the last episode, in which there was a lot of banter throughout about Hardison and Parker's dates, and him wanting to branch out into other things than just bungee jumping or whatever. We have seen hints of this throughout S5 so far, even though we're only a few episodes in at this point. They went on a world tour that was pretty much just jumping off of stuff, Hardison said something about them figuring things out. We saw a cute domestic scene of the aftermath of them watching a movie together, except Parker 'fell asleep again' and missed most of it, and Hardison eventually went off to work on his laptop. Parker tried to comfort him last episode about dust mites and ended up freaking him out instead. She talked about how she liked fire and Hardison complained she was missing the point of his offer for a candlelit picnic. They did end on a very romantic note with her still making the effort to make it happen but getting rained out, and him recognizing her effort and listening to him, and projecting the stars around the dark room then having the picnic inside. They are clearly very happy together and both making the effort to meet in the middle, but there are still some disconnects. Which makes sense this early on anyway, but it's not out of place for Parker to start getting worried about her limited interests here given the context of them contrasting Hardison's more widespread interests.

Starting right off the bat - there's a picture limit so I can't show these early moments, but throughout the first part of the episode we see Parker looking visibly upset/pensive. Hardison notices and asks her what's wrong, but is immediately distracted by his package arriving, and then the team gets into the briefing and he doesn't get to talk to her again. (Sidenote that this is pretty OOC for Hardison, and I have to assume he would at the very least come back to her later, but they were clearly trying to get Parker talking with someone else this episode and apparently couldn't come up with a better way to do it. His writing outside of the kitchen stuff was kinda off this whole episode anyway, what with the whole tip thing.) She was about to open up to him, however, which is important. There's also a scene shortly afterwards where she confides in Nate, again after he notices her being upset and asks what's bothering her. She claims everyone but her has 'a thing', and names a few of them. He asks her what she thinks when she sees Michelangelo's David, and when her answer is an immediate assessment of how it's guarded and what she'd have to do to steal it, he kind of hesitates and then goes right back to running the con. He basically gives up on helping her with this once it becomes clear that a quick sentence or two isn't gonna cut it.

So after those brief, unhelpful conversations, that's when she makes a move. She was responding to others before, but this time she comes up to Eliot, clearly nervous. And she asks him to help her feel something.

(I find it very interesting that she doesn't ask Sophie. Sophie is the person who she would usually go to for something like this, after all. But, aside from this being an Eliot-centric episode and just like them sidelining Hardison's possible assistance earlier the writers want Parker to talk with Eliot not Sophie, I think there are maybe a couple reasons why she might go to him here. First, just distance. Eliot is right downstairs, meanwhile at the moment Sophie is however far across town at her theater. Certainly not saying she wouldn't go to Sophie eventually, but maybe that's why not first. Second, she and Eliot have an understanding, one that's been explicitly acknowledged since the start of S4. They are similar in a way entirely unlike the rest of the crew. So while Sophie may understand emotions best, Eliot is the one most likely to know what Parker is talking about when she says she just isn't feeling anything. Which by the way I'm gonna get more into later on. Thirdly they're in love but that's not actually relevant here since all of the team love one another.)

Eliot

On Eliot's side, she approaches him when he's busy in the kitchen. This whole job is stirring up a lot of old feelings in him right from the start. Toby was someone who 'kept him from falling all the way down', and Eliot is deeply concerned for him. At the same time, the way they are running this con is allowing Eliot to take on the role of teacher. Even though his students aren't anything like the eager students Toby has just had taken away from him, Eliot wants so badly to take advantage of this opportunity to teach them - maybe even all the more because they're resistant. He's being given a very rare opportunity to indulge his belief that food is life and to share it on a larger scale. To use the knife to create, not just destroy. Leverage often walks a line between doing both (taking down the bad guys and helping people) but Eliot doesn't often just straight up get to just do the 'creating' part. (I mean, he loves the destruction too, he genuinely loves beating people up and taking down bad guys, but this is a rarer pleasure.) So he's pretty preoccupied with that at first, and initially dismisses Parker just like the other two guys did.

But when she just looks quietly disappointed at his response, he goes still and watches her. We cut away from them here so we don't see his actual response, but it's immediately clear that he's realizing this is actually something deeply important to Parker, and well worth his time.

On to the next part of this scene below.

.

[Eliot sets a dish down in front of Parker]

Parker: "...It's just food."

Eliot: "It's not just food! Alright, some people could look at it and just see food, but not me. I see art. When I'm in the kitchen I'm, I'm creating something outta nothing, you know what I mean? And sometimes I crush it, sometimes it's crap, but either way - it makes me feel something."

Parker: "Feel what?"

Eliot: "Just... feel."

Parker: [murmuring] "Feel... okay." [looks down at the food and hesitates]

Eliot: "You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time. Then Toby taught me how to cook, and after he did, I started to feel stuff again. That's why I share it through my food - this is my art. This is my art, Parker." [Parker nods, looking worried] "It's like lettin' a stranger in your head, just for a second. And you allow them to feel what you're feeling." [pause] "Look again." [he pushes the plate a little closer to her. Parker takes a deep breath and slowly sets her elbows down on the counter as she stares down at the plate. Eliot watches her closely.]

Parker

At this point I want to talk a little about what Parker means when she says "feel something" and talks about "having a thing." Because we've seen her have interests outside of straightforward thievery before. Sure, most of her hobbies revolves around stealing - casing local banks for fun, for example. But she clearly has a deep love for Christmas and for chocolate. So why doesn't she count those kinds of things as 'feeling something'?

I think it comes down to what Eliot's talking about here. It's a sense of art. Not even necessarily making it yourself, although that certainly applies. Parker likes sweet things like chocolate and donuts, but although she really really likes them they don't make her feel any truly deep emotion. It's more tactile than anything else, just a pleasant flavor. Her love of Christmas isn't the same either in her eyes because it's not uniquely hers. It's something she loves to celebrate but she can't do so all year round, and plenty of other people like Christmas too. This one comes a lot closer, because it definitely seems to be tied up more in community and family for her than something like enjoying chocolate and piñatas, but it still doesn't belong to her in the same way that cooking does to Eliot or theater does to Sophie. And while theoretically her love of base jumping and so on could maybe count, it is still so tied up in her thieving that it doesn't feel separate. She's really good at drawing but only thinks of it as a useful skill, not a creative outlet - this is similar to that.

She has been branching out into a lot of new experiences and emotions lately, and while she's struck out deep into uncharted waters with her relationship with Hardison, once there she's only seeing more and more things that she just... doesn't get. She loves spending time with him, and enjoys what they do together, but she doesn't understand all of those things. Not on a deeper level. She wants to feel that sense of connection to something, wants to feel deeply emotionally moved by something.

And honestly? I think she's way up in her head about it. I'm not trying to dismiss her struggle here at all, but I do think she is stressing herself out about having something uniquely her own. About having a huge interest that speaks so strongly to her personally. And those are amazing to have, but it's really not necessary. She doesn't need a strong secondary passion so much as she needs to let go of trying so hard to force herself into something.

And what's happening in this scene in particular is that Parker is trying so so hard to force herself to feel something. It's evident in her face throughout the whole scene, in her body language. And she is so terrified that it's not going to work that honestly, I'm not surprised at all that it doesn't.

Eliot

On Eliot's side of this scene, he feels like he recognizes where Parker is. This entire job has him remembering how it was to feel nothing. Her phrasing got to him deeply. He wants to reach out and teach her to see something more, just like Toby taught him.

He knew a bit about how to cook before Toby. But it was only seeing Toby's passion that struck something in him, that awoke a part of himself he might've never known before. For Eliot specifically, cooking being an art isn't just something he likes. It's something that brings him hope.

Eliot doesn't believe in redemption. But he believes in actions. And what Toby did, by teaching him to cook, was to teach him that his actions can be good. That he can create, not just destroy. That all is not lost - not 'for' him necessarily, so much as 'in' him. There is a deep empty place inside himself that he can enter so so easily. The difficulty is crawling back out again. Cooking was his rope out of there. He still finds it difficult to express his emotions very often, particularly verbally, but when he makes someone a meal he puts a part of himself into it. And yet doing so doesn't take anything from him, it just adds more.

This is all very vague and figurative and may make no sense, but the takeaway I want to have is that Eliot is opening up to Parker on a very deep level here. He feels like he recognizes what she's talking about, and it was a very bad place for him. (Again, I don't think she is quite that badly off at this point in canon, but I digress.) And while making food allows him to feel that he is demonstrating his love for someone, that he is sharing a part of himself with them, he recognizes that she isn't receiving that. What she's getting, is just a plate of food. Tasty food maybe, but nothing more than that. And so Eliot verbalizes everything to her in a way he rarely does.

And then he keeps trying. This scene obviously doesn't end up making her feel something, and we don't get to see the immediate aftermath of that, but we can glean a little about how they feel based on their reactions. And Eliot is deeply determined to help Parker feel something from his food. He insists that she play the food critic; even speaks directly to her and reminds her to consider what they talked about.

.

In the restaurant, we start out with Parker dutifully playing her role but feeling nothing much beyond just the role. Eliot checks in with Parker, she acknowledges that the food is good but doesn't make her feel anything, and he makes improvements based on her feedback. Then something abruptly changes.

Parker: "I can taste garlic, and mushrooms... and something else that makes me feel different."

Hardison: "Wait, was that for me, cause I-I don't get it."

Parker: "No, it's the food. I get it." [smiles] "I feel something."

+

Parker: "Mmm! These black noodles are amazing!

Eliot: "Parker, it's tagliolini nero con gamberi."

Parker: "Mmm." [eats a huge forkful] "Mmm. Mmmm. These are really good."

Parker

What just happened here? Last we saw from Parker, she'd failed to feel something from the meal Eliot made especially for her in the brewpub, and she was clearly disheartened. She felt it as a failure, very much in the sense of a disappointment. She didn't want to try again, didn't think it would work, and tried to protest when Eliot said she would be the food critic. Even once she got to the restaurant, nothing was happening for her.

The difference wasn't in the flavor of the food. The moment Parker started to feel something was right after she said she felt nothing and Eliot, instead of being disappointed or giving up, took it as a challenge. He changed his recipe, he improved it specifically to better reach out to her. He kept trying.

And yeah, maybe the bone broth helped it taste better. But that wasn't the point, not really. The point is that Parker had gotten herself stuck in a hole, trapped herself in this cycle of not understanding how things make you feel and then believing that she just couldn't. She wanted something of her own and she didn't have it and she didn't immediately get anyone else's thing either, and that was it. She just wasn't capable. She was other. This is an old old fear of Parkers, dating back to Archie or even before. Something in her just isn't capable of being like other people. She wasn't worthy of being in Archie's real family, and she's not able to feel passion for anything outside of stealing. (Setting aside the fact that she loves her team, that all she needed was the right family. That you don't have to be a creator to feel passion, and you don't need to be passionate about any particular thing in order to feel deeply and find beauty in the world.) Parker has empathized deeply with people, has felt so intensely before and is constantly trying to learn more and new ways to be. But because she is noticing her teams' passions now, she has this ideal that she wants to reach, and none of that is good enough for her. She doesn't even know exactly what her ideal involves, but she can't get to it.

But when Eliot doesn't give up, that gets to her. If he views his food as sharing himself with others, Parker finally gets what he's been trying to give all along. It's all about him trying again and again, changing his approach to match her better. That's what she feels, that's what she enjoys.

And once she starts, the floodgates open. She loves the black noodles. She is so happy, she is relieved. There was this huge resistance that she couldn't get past before, but Eliot persisting helped her to break past that and now that she is out of her head about it she can enjoy the food in a way she never has before. Because she feels his love for her in it.

Eliot

Eliot is trying so hard to connect to Parker. It's not really different from what I said in the last Eliot section, and basically the same as what I just said in that Parker section, but I want to emphasize a little more just how much this is about love on his end.

Eliot loves Parker. He loves her, and he wants so much to help her. It doesn't honestly matter that he does this with food, except for the fact that food is what matters so deeply to Eliot himself. He can't reach out to her in the same way through any other medium. And we don't get to see his reaction to Parker's moment of realization. But I think it would be such a deep sense of joy. This is as fulfilling for Eliot as it is for Parker. It's exactly what Eliot has been hoping for this whole episode, to teach someone else to see food in the same way he does. It doesn't matter if it only lasts for a moment or a single meal. That's enough. He has been the support Parker needed through this time of self-doubt. And it is all the more meaningful to him because this isn't just a random student, this is Parker.

He told her he loves her through his food, again and again, and she eventually felt it. She understood. That must mean so much to him.

.

I wanna end with one more brief note on Parker. Does she get her own "thing" this episode? No. No she does not, and this scene shows us that. Parker is not suddenly interested in food or cooking. The importance of that meal was purely derived from Eliot on the other end of it, focused on her and trying his best to reach out to her.

And I don't think this is something only Eliot could have done for her either, not really. The difference between him and the others this episode is mostly in persistence. However, it's also about her mentality. Hardison has built/done things for Parker before and she felt them just as deeply - but the context was different. She wasn't looking for a sense of beauty or art in the world at large then, and so even though she felt the love in the gift just as much, it didn't make her feel like she could find that kind of emotion in other things. She just wasn't looking for it. Also, it was made easier for Eliot to reach out because there's that connection Parker has with him, that understanding that they are on the same level somehow. She doesn't feel that with Hardison - and she loves him all the more for him being different from her, but he also I think can intimidate her with how good and open he is, with how much he can feel in so many different directions. It's part of why she got so worried about herself not being able to do so this episode.

Like, the team has scolded Nate for not having a life or interests of his own outside the job not too terribly long ago! And Parker has had her own joys before! But she isn't seeing that this episode, too caught up in this fear about not having her own 'thing', not feeling anything that way. So while anyone could have helped her through this, it was easiest for her to let Eliot do so + for him to understand what she needed from him. (Hardison in particular was rudely robbed the opportunity, but they all love and support her and could have reached her. Not to detract from Eliot doing so, but also I don't wanna sound like no other method of reaching out would've worked.)

But as soon as she feels something once with Eliot's help, that relaxes those fears. And then Parker is free to look in other places. She remembers Nate's comment about art, and maybe even tells him what she plans based on him knowing where she is at the end of the episode. And then she goes to visit this statue. In her own way which means breaking in, but without any goal of taking it. She just goes to look at the art. And she feels something again.

Parker doesn't gain some big passion at the end of this episode. She doesn't need to. She never did. She just learns how to let herself relax from that restrictive frame of mind. To simply be in the moment and enjoy things for the sake of what they are. To feel - not really in any way she was incapable of before, but intentionally now. It's a quiet victory, in the end. It doesn't mean she's going to get a new hobby or change her lifestyle at all really. But she's let go of a fear and is now intentionally seeking out new connections with the world beyond her once-limited parameters.

[wintrcaptn]

Forbidden Ch. 2 | Andy Barber

Summary : Summary : You used to babysit Jacob when he was younger and had the biggest crush on his dad, Andy. But being in High school at the time, you knew it was just a stupid fantasy that could never happen. Now, six years later, you were visiting your hometown while on winter break. Once you found out the news about Jacob, you knew you had to go check up on them. But things take a turn when you find yourself alone with Andy Barber.

Part One

A/N : I wasn’t planning on making a second part for this fic, until now. Thank you all for the amazing feedback! I hope you like this one just as much (:

You barely slept last night, all you could think about was the kiss. About the way Andy held you close to him, and how his tongue danced along yours.

It was driving you crazy, wishing you could taste him again. To feel him.

But you also couldn’t help feeling horrible. Like the worse person in the world. And it didn’t help that you were seeing him again in just a few hours.

It was beginning to make you nervous. To the point where you almost wanted to cancel and forget the whole thing.

But you knew you couldn’t do that to Jacob.

Staring at your reflection, you let out a long sigh.

“It’s just one more night.” You said to yourself.

____

Pulling up to the Barber’s house, you were washed over with guilt and filled with anxiety. Not knowing how this was going to play out, made it even worse.

What if Laurie found out?

What if Andy regretted kissing you?

A thousand questions flooded your mind and it was starting to freak you out.

Jacob saw your car through his blinds and immediately ran downstairs. Excitement plastered over his face. It caught Andy’s attention.

“You okay there, buddy?” He asked, flipping through the channels on the tv.

“Y-yeah.” Jacob said, walking over to the door. “Y/N’s here.”

The second your name fell from his sons lips, Andy stood up and shot his gaze to the window.

You saw the door swing open, and Jacob stood in the door way with a cheeky grin. And just then, you knew you had to suck it up and focus on being there for him.

“Hey!” You said, climbing out of your car.

“Hi!” He exclaimed.

Andy tensed up the closer you got. Part of him felt guilty for what happened, and especially for wanting to kiss you again.

This wasn’t who he was. He wasn’t a cheater, someone who would go behind his wife’s back and betray her trust. He hated himself for letting it get to this. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted you.

As you walked into the house, you tried hard to only focus on Jacob. But in the corner of your eye, you saw his figure. Suddenly, your gaze met his and instantly, your breath hitched.

“H-Hi.” He said, hesitantly walking over to you.

You swallowed hard, but found some courage in you to snap out of the daze and collect yourself. “Hi.” You replied.

“So I was thinking we can order pizza and put on a movie or something while I set up the game? Like old times?” Jacob muttered, looking at you then back to his dad. “You’re going to play too, right?”

“Um—if Y/N is okay with it.”

Both of the Barber boys turned their gaze on you, putting you on the spot.

“Of course I’m okay with it.” You said. “Is Mrs. Barber joining us or—?”

“No, she had some errands to do.” Jacob interrupted you. “She said she’ll be home later though.”

You could tell something was off. The second day in a row, and they weren’t together? This wasn’t like them.

For as long as you could remember, they made every effort to be together.

“I’ll get the game. Dad, can you order the pizza?” Jacob’s voice snapped you back to the moment.

But before either of you could respond, Jacob turned around and ran up the stairs, leaving you alone with Andy.

You hesitantly looked over to him, and his eyes were already on you.

It was crazy how much power a stare held over you. It made your heart pound erratically, and it was hard to think straight.

The silence was driving him crazy. He wanted to know—needed to know what you were thinking. And he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Can we talk about—you know.” He whispered, walking over to you.

Each step he made, growing closer to you, things were beginning to feel hotter and constricting.

“Th-there’s nothing to t-talk about, Mr. Barber—“

“Andy.” He cut you off, now standing just right in front of you. His eyes looking longingly into yours, almost as if he were searching for something. “Please, call me Andy.”

You swallowed hard. “Andy, please. Can we just pretend it didn’t happen?”

“I can’t. I tried, but I can’t stop thinking about it, about you. And—and I don’t think I want to stop.”

As you opened your mouth, you were instantly silenced after the sound of footsteps grew nearer.

Andy cleared his throat and quickly walked back toward the kitchen, pulling out his phone to order the pizza.

Finally, you were able to let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

“Okay, I got monopoly and Pictionary Incase mom comes home early.” Jacob smiled.

“Perfect.”

After a few hours, the three of you filled yourselves with pizza and soda, while playing the game.

Sitting there with you and Jacob, watching the way you both laughed and talked, it was invigorating. In this very moment, Andy watched his son be a kid again and that’s all he ever wanted.

Everything felt normal. Like how it used to be. Before it all went to shit.

You all talked like no time has passed. Cracking jokes, and teaming up with Jacob, buying all the properties so Andy had to pay.

It was perfect.

“So did you ever finish reading the Harry Potter series?” You asked, rolling the dice.

Jacob nodded, flashing a smile as he remembered how much you used to love those books.

“Yea. They were good. Still not my favorite but—“

“Not your favorite?! Dude, Harry Potter is amazing and it has everything!”

Andy listened to you both go back and forth, a smirk plastered on his face.

“Ok well how about the next time in town, we have a Harry Potter movie marathon? I’m sure those will change your mind.”

“Fine!”

Laurie finally came home around seven. She looked even more exhausted than yesterday, and a little upset.

She said a soft hello, gave Jacob a kiss on the head and went straight upstairs, barely giving Andy a glance.

Then suddenly, it was back to reality.

Though you were able to distract Jacob for a bit, nothing could make him forget the truth. And for that, he needed some time to himself.

“I-I’m getting tired, so I think I’m going to lay down for awhile.” He said, propping up to his feet. “Thanks for coming over. I had fun. Maybe we can do it again soon?”

You flashed him a soft smile, and nodded before pulling him in for a hug. “Yeah, definitely.”

And just like that, he ran up to his room, leaving you alone with Andy. Again.

Andy sat on the couch, running his hands through his hair. Tired, upset, confused. There were too many different emotions running through him, it was starting to become overwhelming.

You decided to clean up the mess before leaving.

“Y-you dont have to do that.” He said, gazing at you.

“It’s okay. It’s the least I could do since you fed me the past two days.” You chuckled.

He chuckled along with you, and helped with the dishes. Not another word but glances were shared.

And every time you looked at him, the more you yearned to feel him. But you knew you shouldn’t.

He leaned against the counter once everything had been cleaned. His arms crossed over his chest.

There had only been one constant thing roaming through his mind; He can't be having feelings for another woman. He just can't.

But no matter how hard he tries to push his feelings aside, he couldnt. It wasn’t making any sense. Why couldn’t he shake this? Why couldn’t he let this go?

Before he had time to process anything, something overcame him and suddenly it all came out like word vomit.

“These past few weeks have been shit.” He said, staring at his feet. “And I have been losing my mind over everything that’s been going on until—“

Andy paused, meeting your gaze. “You showed up out of nowhere and—I don’t know.”

You weren’t sure what to do or say but stand there.

“It’s like I’ve been drowning, and kissing you—kissing you was like coming up for fresh air. I was able to breathe again.”

Every word that fell from his lips only made you want him more. Not only physically, not just feeling him or tasting him, you wanted him. All of him.

And he wanted you.

How did this even happen? You hadn’t seen each other in years and after a day, it was instant. Like it had come out of a movie.

He slowly started towards you, and the way he locked his gaze on you, it was almost as if he hungered for you.

Your breath hitched to the back of your throat, scared to move a single muscle.

“Just tell me to stop, and I’ll let this go.” His voice was low, almost like a growl and it only made you want him more.

Without realizing, he stood just inches in front of you, towering over you. Forcing you to crank your neck up so you could gaze into him.

You slightly opened your mouth, knowing you should say no, but no words came out.

The silence was all he needed, and suddenly, his rough hands cupped the back of your head and crashed his lips against yours.

Everything felt still like time had froze. And you were lost in the moment. Lost in his kiss, quickly motioning back and caving into him.

Soft grunts escaped him as he deepened this kiss, while his hands slid down to your waist. Without thinking, he lifted you off the ground, and your legs wrapped around him.

Andy could feel himself grow harder by the second. Yearning to feel more of you. All of you.

Your fingers were deep in His hair as your lips molded against his. You were both so caught up in each other, taking every second in.

He sat you on the counter, and swiftly took off his shirt, exposing his bare chest.

Your fingers traced over him, making its way down to the button of his jeans.

Feeling you getting closer to his already hard shaft, made him shiver under your touch. And damn, he wanted you.

His lips never left yours, sucking, biting and tugging at your bottom lip, forcing soft moans out of you.

The kiss had been everything you ever dreamt of. Possibly even better.

You were so drenched, you knew your panties had been soaked completely. But you could care less.

You could feel yourself pulsate between your legs where he stood. Your body yearned to feel him. To feel all of him, inside of you.

Andy could sense just how badly you wanted him. It turned him on even more, ready to give in and pound into you. He kissed you harder, showing you that he wanted you just as badly.

Everything moved so quickly, you almost didn’t realize you were both unbuttoning your shirt and with your next breath, Andy pulled the shirt off of you.

You were both lost in each other. Lost in the moment, caving into one another.

His lips began traveling down to your neck. His grazed his tongue over your skin just before he his teeth pressed into you and forced another moan out of you.

He loved hearing you. It made his dick twitch under his boxers, begging to be inside of you.

Until...

“Dad, can you bring up a glass of water for me?” Jacob asked, leaning over the railing of the stairs.

“Y-Yeah buddy. I’ll be right there.” He called out.

Andy swallowed hard as he grabbed his shirt from the floor, while you both breathed heavily.

You mirrored his actions and slipped your shirt back on. Feeling your heart beat rapidly in your chest.

This was wrong on so many levels. You were slowly falling for a guy who was older than you and worst of all, married.

“I’m so sorry, this was a mistake.” You said, starting for the front door.

Andy was torn, knowing he should’ve never crossed the line, but it was too late. There was no turning back now. And though it wasn’t right, he didn’t want to go back.

And for that, he hated himself even more.

“Y/N wait, please.”

Tears began to well in your eyes, as a lump formed in your throat. This felt worse than a break up. Worse than anything you had been through which you weren’t sure as to why.

“We can’t do this Andy, you’re married.” You forced out. “Laurie is literally upstairs.”

He had forgotten that she was in the room. Being with you, was like having tunnel vision and all he could focus on was you.

“Fuck.” He exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What the hell am I doing?”

The tears had stained your cheeks and in that moment, you were broken.

“This was a mistake.” You repeated. “You’re just hurt and confused, this isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have—“

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this.” He cut you off. “This is bad timing, I know. But I’m not confused.”

You wanted nothing more than to believe him. But how could you with all things considered?

“Dammit.” You whispered to yourself. “I can’t do this.”

With that, you grabbed your bag and left without saying goodbye.

Andy knew letting himself feel this way to begin with was wrong. But why did it feel so good? Kissing you, holding you, feeling you pressed against him.

Being with you, he could finally breathe. It was like coming up for air.

——

Chapter Three sneak peek

Chapter Three

[xeunoais]

Better Half

(A/N: i seriously missed writing connor blurbs more than i can even explain!! oh and this is told from connor’s pov btw! anyways i hope you enjoy this lol)

Summary: You tried cooking Connor breakfast like he always does for you, even though you don’t cook whatsoever. Well it ends up turning into a big mess but he saves the day. I mean, you are each other’s better halves.

-

-

A groan left my throat as I waved my arm around the sheets, searching for something that apparently wasn't there.

I lifted my head up and cracked one eye open in the bright morning sun to see that she wasn't anywhere to be found.

My eyes found the bathroom that was open and empty as well. I pulled myself to the edge of the bed to see if she fell off while she was sleeping again and grunted when she wasn't there.

"Y/n?" I whispered.

No response. I fell back onto the bed and rubbed my eyes, blinking slowly as to adjust to the day before finally getting up. I looked down at my bare chest and sweatpants and decided that putting on a shirt wasn't worth the effort right now, got up and walked to the door of our room.

Once I opened the door and walked out a few feet, I heard some noises coming from our kitchen downstairs.

Maybe she's getting some cereal? I heard a few clanking sounds of pots or pans. Maybe it's a hungry burglar?

I listened a little closer as I walked down the stairs and could hear some angry mumbling that I definitely recognized as my Y/n's. Is she actually cooking for me? She never cooks.

My heart melted at the thought and I quickly, but quietly, made my way down the rest of the stairs so I could watch around the corner.

"Okay, now that its all mixed together I need to spray the pan and then I can cook it. Right?" She asked herself, looking at her phone that she had propped up against a stack of cooking books.

I laughed quietly to myself as I pictured her trying to use a cooking book before giving up and finding a video on YouTube.

"Okay so now I poor in the egg stuff," she trailed off as she carried a large mixing bowl to the stove.

I held my breath for a moment seeing as she had the flame as high as it would go and she was already struggling with the nearly full bowl of omelette mixings.

Please don't spill them. Please don't spill them. Please don't spill them.

I jumped down from the stairs when she lost grip of the bowl and all of the contents spilled over the counter, most luckily avoiding the stove.

Y/n quickly grabbed a dish towel from in front of the stove to try to clean up the mess that was continuing to spill onto the stove and screamed when the rag caught on fire.

"Baby, watch out," I spoke quickly taking the rag from her hand and tossing it into the sink that had been full of dishwater before turning off the stove.

I grabbed some paper towels and made a barrier between the stove and countertop to stop the mess from spreading too much before turning to look at Y/n.

I tried to look stern but I forgot almost immediately when I saw her standing there, tears in her eyes, and her left hand gripping her right wrist.

"I'm so sorry, Con. I just wanted to make you breakfast like you do for me and then I nearly caught the whole house on fucking fire and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, stop." I stepped in front of her and put both of my hands on her cheeks, making her look at me.

"Don't beat yourself up, I think that you are an amazing cook and do you want to know why?" She didn't answer, just blinked and sniffled a little. "Because you keep trying," I pushed a strand of hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "And about the whole setting the house on fire," I pulled her in towards me in a hug, tucking her head beneath my chin.

"Nothing bad will ever happen as long as you let me be there to help you. Just like how I need you there to help me so that I don't do something dumb like build a skate ramp in our backyard and some other stupid shit that i blame Brian for making me want to do." I felt her let out a small laugh, her breath warming my still bare chest.

I kissed the top of her head before leaning back and sliding my hands down her arms to take a hold of her hands. I quickly let go when she let out a hiss at me touching her wrists.

"What? What's wrong? What did I do?" I could hear the panic in my own voice but I was too nervous that I had hurt her to care.

"No, no. It wasn't you," she sighed, lifting her right arm to show me the red burn that covered her hand around her thumb. It wasn't too horrible a burn but it was definitely going to blister.

"I think it happened when the rag caught on fire." Her cheeks were bright red, thin shiny tracks running down them from some of her tears spilling over from her eyes.

"Come here," I whispered, pulling her towards the kitchen island that hadn't been spilled on and I lifted her to sit on the counter. I went to our bathroom to grab our first aide kit and stood in between her legs.

After a few minutes of her giving me instructions on dressing her wound, she was all wrapped up and nearly done sniffling. I looked up from her wrist, into her eyes.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Mhmm," she hummed in response, leaning back. "I'm just sad. I wanted so bad to make you a breakfast and I couldn't even do a simple omelette without starting a fire. What fiancé can't even do a simple omelette?"

"I mean, one day we might have kids and they're going to need food and all I can do is cereal! I'm going to be a useless mother and wife. God I'm already a useless fiancé." Tears were streaming down her face at this point and my heart felt like it could break.

"Don't say that." My voice came out deep and gruff, anger very clear in my tone. Her eyes widened in surprise before I continued.

"I will not allow a single person on this planet, including you, talk about the love of my life like that. You have so many great qualities that make you a fantastic fiancé and will make you an even more fantastic wife and mother."

She laughed, still not even remotely close to understanding how wonderful she is in my eyes.

"You are so patient and creative. Our kids won't have a second of boredom if you have anything to do about it. You are so caring and will be the best nurse whenever the fall and scrape their hand or knees. No matter what our kids go through you'll find a way to make them feel better. Do you even remember how we met?" A wobbly smile overtook her lips.

"You were riding your bike by my friend's and you crashed into a fence across the street from her house." she laughed at the memory.

"And then what happened?" I urged her on.

"And then I invited you to my house next door to her’s, helped you get all bandaged up." she rolled her eyes, her smile actually real now.

"That's right," I smiled, leaning in to give her a kiss. I sighed as her lips touched mine, that has always given me “butterflies” as she calls it, that I didn't know was possible before I met her.

"Thanks for breakfast by the way," I spoke.

"What are you talking about? I didn't even make anything edible! Plus, the whole kitchen is a mess!" Y/n laughed, letting me know that she wasn't upset anymore, just slightly annoyed with how things had turned out.

"Ah, but baby, it’s the thought that counts, is it not?" She laughed again and I quickly turned around to the fridge, pulling out a box of toaster strudels and handed them to her.

"I'll clean up if you cook?" I asked as she smiled.

"Deal," she said, hopping off the counter. We worked quickly, and soon Y/n and I had wiped off the counter and stove top and tossed everything else in the sink by the time that our breakfast was popping out of the toaster. We sat down at the island, our fingers interlocked as we took our first bites.

"Con," she said softly, making me turn to her. "Thank you for being my better half."

"And thank you for being mine." I kissed her temple and we finished our toaster strudels in comfortable silence.

This girl truly was my bestfriend. She has been ever since we were 13 and I crashed my bike into that fence and she doctored me up. She was and always will be the better half of me.

-

The End

(A/N: i hope you enjoyed this little connor blurb and remember feedback is highly appreciated!!)

[anarcoqueer1994]

You Deserve Better (Chapter 3)

*A Muffy and Marty heavy of my Trans!TJ and Trans!Marty fanfiction. Features some Tyrus and platonic Tarty.*

Couple additional notes, there are some unsupportive parents in this chapter. I based some of it on my own experience. Also it is never okay to purposely dead name a person. And as always, you are valid if you pass, don't pass, or dont want to pass. You matter.

"Mara!"

A voice calls from downstairs. It gets no response.

"Mara!" 

The voice calls again. The sound of that name in the air fills the space with poison. It makes the air feel heavy. It is hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"Jesus Christ! Mara if I have to come up there, you are not going to like it."

Crash. Books tumble to the ground off the dresser.

The sound of feet climbing the stairs come next. Those feet belong to the voice. They make their way to a bedroom door. They push open the door to find a person shaking in anger surrounded by books littering the floor.

"Mara, I know you heard me."

"It's Marty, mom." He says defyingly.

"We are not doing this again. Knock it off. I need your help downstairs." She says in an exasperated voice.

"With what?' He spits back, trying to keep it together long enough to fight back the tears forming in his eyes.

"Well after you clean up your little temper tantrum, I need you to wash the dishes while I run to the store. I want to finish dinner before your dad gets home."

"I don't have a dad." Marty says behind gritted teeth.

"Now you stop that. Don't be so dramatic.'

"He won't even look at me anymore."

"That's only because he wants you to stop playing dress up and using these fake voices and go back to being his daughter. He just wants you to show a little respect for yourself and the way God made you." His mother says in a 'sympathetic' voice. 

"I am showing myself respect, mom. I am being true to me."

"Whatever, I'm not getting into this with you again today." She says as she turns to walk out.

As she walks out, Marty yells out the door to her. "That's right, walk away! But you can't avoid this forever!" He slams his door shut and sinks to the ground. He lets the tears stream down his cheek unchecked. It shouldn't hurt this bad to be himself but it does.

Honestly all he wants to do is call Buffy and hear her voice… but he can't. He can't because calling her would involve him telling her why he was upset. The problem with that is he hasn't come out to her yet. In fact the only person who knows is his new friend, TJ. It shocks him that TJ has become one of his best friends but given the fact that TJ is also trans, it helps him not feel alone in this.

Thinking about it, he couldn't believe how much his life had changed in this past month. He was finally dating, Buffy Driscoll, the girl he never gave up feelings for. Buffy was the best thing to happen in his life. Sure she was pretty, but God she was so much more. She was funny, smart, a hell of an athlete, and just as competitive as he was, if not more. Buffy was not perfect, sometimes she lost her head(i.e. the shoe incident or trying to run a marathon on no training) but who is? All he knows is that she is perfect for him.

Then why can't  he bring himself to just tell her the one thing she does not know about him? She would understand. She wouldn't care, he can almost guarantee himself but...what if she did? What if Buffy does care that he is a trans guy? 

He thinks about calling TJ to vent but remembers that his friend had planned a big date with Cyrus today. He doesn't want to ruin that. So he does the only thing he can think of to chase these feelings away. He gets up, changes into his running clothes and leaves his house. From there, he just goes. He doesn't know where he is running to, but it doesn't matter as long as he keeps going.

After what must have been an hour, his phone rings in his pocket causing him to come to a halt. He expects to see his mother on the caller ID, having come back from the store and realizing he wasn't there. To his relief though, it is not. Its Buffy instead, he smiles to himself, almost forgetting his bad feelings, if only for a moment.

"Buff-ay" He says in a goofy voice as he answers.

"Mart-ay" She replies. "What are you doing right now?"

"Not much, running, that's it."

"Wanna grab dinner with me then? Cyrus is out with TJ and Andi is hanging out with Amber and Jonah."

"Are you asking me on a date,  Driscoll?" He jokes.

"In your dreams." She teases back. "Anyhow, see you at The Spoon in 20?"

"Yea, I'll be there." As he hangs up, he can't help himself not to smile. Even though they are finally dating, he likes that they can still joke around like that. Honestly he doesn't know how he got so lucky.

********

Twenty minutes later, he finds himself in the diner walking towards the table that Buffy is sitting at. He smiles as he meets her eyes.

"Hey" he says as he takes a seat next to her.

"Hey, yourself." Her smile mirrors his. "How was your run?"

"Good, I guess."

"You should've texted me, I would have ran with you."

Marty smirks. "You know, didn't  want you to feel bad when you couldn't keep up."

"You mean, you didn't want to feel bad when you were eating my dust." She laughs. God he loves that laugh.

"But really, I just needed to get out of the house, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing."

"Another fight with your mom?"

"Yea, I guess."

"What do you guys even fight about all the time?"

"You know how it is, just normal parent-kid stuff." He likes trying to smooth over the topic.

"Are you sure?" She pushes.

"Yea.' He says quietly before switching his tone. "Let's eat, I'm starving!"

Buffy doesn't want to drop the subject but knows pushing won't help. She makes a mental note to bring it up later. 

After a while, Marty's phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to find a message from his mother. 

Where the hell are you? This isn't funny. For the record, I noticed you didn't do anything I asked.

Marty rolls his eyes and throws his phone on to the table. Buffy gives him a look demanding what is going on.

"It is just my mom. I didn't quite tell her that I was leaving. " Marty rubs the back of his head.

"So you should be getting back." Buffy says in a matter of fact tone.

"I guess. I'm going to be dead when I get their though. So you better say your goodbyes." He tries to joke.

She punches his shoulder playfully before giving a small kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry, I'm sure you all will work through whatever is happening."

He gives her a weak smile and just nods. He doesn't quite believe that is true. "I should get going."

"Want me to walk you home?"

"Nah, Buffy. It's okay. Thanks."

"Okay, call if you need anything?"

"Of course." He says as he stands up.

"One more thing" Buffy says softly. "You do know I am here no matter what? So if you ever wanna talk about the bad stuff you have going on with your parents, I'm here."

He can't help but beam at her words. Maybe he will tell her, but not tonight. "Thank you…you have a good night Driscoll." 

**********

Buffy sits a bit longer at The Spoon. She doesn't quite understand what can be going on with Marty's parents. Whatever it is though, she knows it has to be more than "normal teen stuff." She wishes that she could help more. She just doesn't know how.

When she finally goes to leave 20 minutes later, she notices that Marty left his phone at the table. She picks it up and slides it into her pocket. She decides that she will just drop it off to him. So she heads out of the diner and heads towards his house. Buffy has only been there once, awhile back, when his parents weren't there. He has always been weird about introducing any of his friends (or girlfriend apparently) to his parents.

When she arrives at his house, she knocks on the door and waits. She would of called him ahead of time but, you know, she has his phone. A short brunette woman who appears to be in her late 30s answers the door. She guesses this must be his mom.

"Hi, can I help you?" The woman asks politely.

"Yea, actually, um I'm Buffy. I am Marty's girlfriend. We were hanging out and he left his phone." 

The woman rolls her eyes and Buffy worries she said something wrong. Oh god, she thinks, what if he has not told his mom he has a girlfriend. What his mom says next though surprises her.

The woman turns behind her and yells "Mara! Get down here now."

Mara? Who's Mara? Does Marty have some secret sister she doesn't know about. As a matter of fact, she remembers a Mara at school in the 6th grade but she didn't come back in the seventh grade or eighth grade. She doesn't have much time to think about it because she notices Marty bounding down the steps. He isn't looking up so he doesn't see her. Then she hears him say "Its Marty, mom." As those words leave his mouth, he looks up and sees Buffy.

"What...what...are you doing here, Buffy?" It sounds like he is having trouble breathing. 

Before Buffy can answer, his mom speaks. "This nice young lady was bringing you your phone. But then she let me know you have her twisted up in this stupid game you are playing, Mara."

"Stop calling me that!" Marty says, focusing on his mom because he isn't brave enough to look at Buffy.

"That is your name! Just because you are playing dress up and pretending to be a boy, doesn't change who you really are."

Suddenly it clicks to Buffy what is going on. Marty is trans and his mom just outed him to her. She feels terrible and feels like she should say something. She clears her throat and says "I don't mean to be disrespectful but apparently you don't care about that ma'am so I'm going to continue anyhow. Marty is the best guy I know and you aren't being very nice to him at all. I don't  think you are a nice person. I don't like the way you treat him." Marty smiles to himself. She really is the most amazing person.

His mother turns away from Marty to face Buffy again. "Watch your tone with me." She snaps back at the teenager at the door.

Marty's voice comes from behind his mom. "Don't talk to her like that." 

"She has no right to talk to me like that. Especially since all I was doing was telling the truth, Mara."

"Stop calling me that."

"That is your name!"

"No it is not and you know it!" Marty is shaking now in anger as Buffy looks on.

His mother's voice is tinged with annoyance as she speaks in a calmly. "I don't want to talk about this, I think you're friend should go home and you should go to your room."

"You never want to talk about this!" The boy steps closer. "You never want to talk about the reason dad barely speaks anymore and hides out in your room. You never want to talk about why I don't have friends here. And you never want to talk about the fact that you have a son! But we are going to talk about it! We are going to talk about me." 

His mom interrupts him. "You will listen here. I work too hard for this family for you to talk to me like that."

"Oh you work too hard?! Well I worked harder! I tried harder than you to stomp this out and not make it a problem! I tried not to bother my family with my problems. " He starts shaking slightly. Buffy pushes past his mother to stand next to him and squeeze his hand. He continues. "But then I couldn't anymore, mom. It hurt too much. So I did what I could to feel better about myself. I started dressing and presenting in a way that felt right. I was happy and everyone at school just saw a boy but you and dad couldn't accept that. Dad just stopped talking to me and you live in this delusional place in your head where this isn't happening. But it is happening. Why can't you be okay with this? Why don't you care about me being happy?" His voice was smaller now.

"Because it's wrong, and you know that. Do you want to be some freak?"

"Mom...that's not true. You don't really think I am a freak, do you?" He asks as Buffy keeps squeezing his hand.

His mother clears her throat. "I think you should leave...Mara." 

"Don't you care about me…"

"I told you to leave. I will call over to your aunt's and you will stay there."

"You know what? Don't bother." He pulls Buffy's hand with him as he pushes past his mother without another word and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

They walk in silence for a while, with Marty holding onto Buffy's hand like he would die if they let go. When they are far enough away from his home, Buffy whispers "You know you didn't deserve any of that, right?"

Marty stays silent, not able to look at her. She continues, "I mean it. I wish your parents would see what I see when I look at you."

"Which is?" He manages to barely push those words past his teeth.

Buffy stops and moves in front of him so she can look him in the eyes. "I see someone who is funny, and smart, an amazing runner, a person who will do anything for the people he cares about. I see one of the best guys I have ever met."

"Buffy ...I'm so sorry I lied to you. I should have known you would have been so supportive." He says, taking both her hand in his.

"Don't be sorry, you have to do this own your own time. Just know, I got your back, always." She smiles at him.

He mirrors back her expression. She asks "Do you want me to text my mom to see if you crash on our couch tonight?" 

"Nah, I'm pretty sure your mom wouldn't be happy with a guy staying the night, but thanks. If you give me my phone back though, I think I know someone I can call.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Here." She hands him his phone. He quickly shoots TJ a text.

Yo, can I stay at your house for a few days?

Let me ask my mom. Why?

My mom kicked me out. I'll explain more later.

My mom said yes. See you in a bit. 

Marty turns back to his girlfriend. "TJ's parents are going to let me stay over."

"I still don't understand how you two became so close." She says as they start walking  again, heading to TJ's.

"He kind of found out about me and has been really supportive." He doesn't go into specifics because saying  more would out TJ. That is not his right.

Buffy can sense that there is more but gets the hint not to push. As they walk, they intertwine pinkies. They don't say much. That's okay though because her still being there even after everything, is enough.

********

After a while, they reach TJ's house. They walk up to see the boy with sitting on a porch swing, resting his head against his boyfriend's shoulder. Marty thinks it's kind of cute to see the taller boy slouching to rest his head on Cyrus. Then a thought crosses his mind as he and Buffy step into view of boys on the porch.

"Oh god, you guys had your date day today and I am crushing it."

Cyrus smiles at him from the chair. "Actually  I was just telling TJ I have to head home. It's late and now that my mom knows we are dating, sleepovers are a no-no." He laughs. He kisses TJ's cheek and pulls away. TJ groans in pretend annoyance, before pulling Cyrus in for one more kiss. 

"Bye Underdog." TJ gives a dopey smile.

"Bye Teej…" He returns with the same lovestruck look.

Marty and Buffy make fake gagging noise almost in unison. It makes them both smile.

Cyrus eventually smiles towards Buffy. "Wanna walk home together?" Buffy nods before giving Marty a hug goodbye. She whispers "Text me tomorrow, okay?" Marty nods before the two friends head out towards their homes.

Marty joins TJ on the porch and takes a seat. He clears his throat.

"So uh, Buffy knows." Marty says softly.

"That's great man, you told her?"

"Not exactly, she came over to drop off my phone. I had left it at the diner. My mom answered the door and kind of outed me. But Buffy didn't care, you know? She even stood up to my mom for me. So it made me feel, you know good."

"I told you Buffy really cared about you, didn't I?" TJ gives a smug grin.

"Yea you did, man. I just felt so strong with her there, like a better person. So I stood up to my mom. Unfortunately that got me kicked out, but it was worth it. I mean I shouldn't have to stay with people hate such a big part of me."

"You're right. And tomorrow my mom said we will help you figure it out, okay? But tonight, just relax."

They sit quietly for a while just enjoying the night air. But TJ breaks the quiet. "So like does Buffy know that I know you're are trans?"

"Yea but don't worry I did not tell her you are trans too."

[carryonsimoncarryonbaz]

Chapter Four of my Baz and Simon Travel AU! Continued thanks to @basic-banshee and @vkelleyart for reading it over! Excerpt below.

 Read the fic at AO3. 

Chapter Four

Baz

I couldn’t sit there for one more minute.

I’m pacing back and forth in our tower room. I’m expecting Simon to come in at any moment. I’m not sure if I’m grateful he hasn’t or desperately wishing he would.

I should probably be grateful he hasn’t. I’d be sure to snap at him and hate myself even more than I already do at the moment.

I’ve checked online. It’s as Sgt. Petty said. The flights are all canceled—from New York to Atlanta—for today as well.

Fuck it all.

With the cataclysmic storm paralyzing this entire part of the country it will take a bloody miracle for me to get home for Christmas Day.

Or even Boxing Day. Mordelia’s birthday.

I haven’t texted her since the storm hit. I don’t know what to say. I told her I’d be home for Christmas, just like that infernal song that’s been on continuous repeat on the radio for bloody weeks on end now.

‘If only in my dreams,’ like fucking sad Bing Crosby sang.

I hate that song.

I hate quite a lot at the moment, this fucking storm and my travel planning abilities currently occupying the top spots on my list.

It’s no use. My pacing is only agitating me more. I think about calling my father but I can’t let myself do it. I know what hearing his voice will do to me right now. Or Mordelia’s.

I’ve got to hold it together. Come up with a plan.

I’m good at that. Making plans. Not these bloody plans. I’ve made a right hash of this entire trip.

I pull out my mobile and start searching airline websites.

Flights for tomorrow are still listed—from Baltimore, Washington, Philadelphia. I’m tempted to book flights from all three, on the off chance one of those airports clears by then.

But that might be a bit much, even for me.

In the end it doesn’t make a bloody bit of difference because there simply aren’t tickets to be had.

British Airways is booked solid. Economy to First Class. All three airports.

And so it goes. Same for United. And American. And Virgin bloody Atlantic.

Fuck.

Delta has one seat left from Philadelphia. I don’t even consider it.  Simon and I are a package deal. I’ve not dragged him here with me to be separated from him now.

Or ever, a voice whispers in my head but I stubbornly reject the thought. It’s pointless to let myself indulge my fantasies. I know how he feels about me.

Running into Simon may be the only redeeming feature of this entire situation but I can't allow myself to dwell on that.

After what feels like endless searching I finally find two First Class tickets on an Icelandair flight departing from Washington tomorrow.

I click through to purchase them. I’m not worried about paying for Simon. I know he’ll pay me back. He’s never had much money but he’s an absolute stickler for paying his debts. Always has been. It’s a point of pride with him.

It’s not like I’m going to let him pay for the upgrade. That’s on me.

The price for these tickets is surprisingly reasonable considering the First-Class designation. Odd.

The reason becomes clear when I click through to seat selection. These aren’t British Airways style First Class seats. They’re essentially glorified Economy. Not single-seat pods but regular seats, two to a side, and wider than the basic offerings.

I’m not complaining. There are two seats together. It’s better than I could have dreamed. It will let me be near him for a few more hours, even if it’s simply sharing an armrest.

Booking session over, I collapse into one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. It’s all ashes, the fire having burned out overnight. It’s quite chilly in the room. I’ve half a mind to throw a log in the grate and start a blaze but I should probably get myself downstairs to let Simon know I’ve found us tickets, for whatever that’s worth.

If the airport is even functional tomorrow.

I don’t move though. Now that I’ve got a moment to myself I find I need the solitude. To pull myself together.

It’s heady, being in Simon’s company again. I’d convinced myself I was over him, that it was just a youthful infatuation, a school-boy crush.

It didn’t take more than a minute in his presence to realize that was bollocks. I’m as besotted as ever.

More, in fact.

It’s harder to act detached, to keep up my disinterested demeanor, that bland mask of indifference and arrogance I had cultivated so carefully at Watford, when all I want to do is be near him, bask in the sight of him, have him hold my hand like he did last night.

I’m hopeless. Utterly pathetic.

I’d give anything to go back. To start over.

I don’t know how long I stare at the ashes in front of me, thinking back on every cruel insult, cold glare, or insensitive comment I’ve made to him over the years.

I sit up and lean forward, raking my hands through my hair in frustration.

Eventually the chill of the room gets to me. I wonder if that brief power outage shorted the heating system. I’ll have to ask Ebb. It will make for an unpleasant night if the room gets any colder.

An unbidden image of cuddling with Simon in front of a roaring fire takes over my thoughts. If only that were a possibility.

There’s no going back, I think to myself, as I make my way downstairs.

But maybe there’s a way forward.

Fate gave me Simon as a roommate. Now Fate has unexpectedly brought him back into my life. Maybe there is such a thing as a second chance.

I’d be an absolute knobhead if I let myself fuck it up again.

Simon

The cold finally drives me inside. I dawdle in the foyer for a few minutes but the other guests have taken over the dining room and it’s awkward to stand here and stare at them. It’s not like I’m going to take a seat and have a second breakfast.

It’s tempting but my stomach is too churned up from my conversation with Ebb.

I could go back to the room but I’m not quite prepared to come face to face with Baz, what with this realization I’ve just made.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to face him again without blurting it out or going down in a blaze of mortification.

Fuck.

The people eating are beginning to stare at me.

Even if she’s completely upended my world, Ebb is still a kind person. I’ll go help her with the washing up. It’ll keep me from running into Baz and perhaps give me chance to sort myself.

I desperately need sorting.

She’s at the stove again when I enter the kitchen.

“Need some help, Ebb?”

“Ah, you’re back then, Simon.” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry about earlier. Nicky says it’s one of my failings. I read too much into things and don’t know when to stop talking.” She wrinkles her nose at me. “I suppose that’s two failings. I’m sure he’s got a list of them for me.”

“No, it’s alright. I mean, I understand why you might have thought that. But it’s not what you think, I want to make that clear.”

“Understood.

“You need a hand then? I can do the washing up?”

Ebb grins at me. Her whole face lights up. “That’d be great, Simon. Thank you. I’d rather not use the dishwasher, to save generator power. You’ll be such a help.”

Ebb goes back to cooking and I lose myself in the repetitive mundanity of washing up.

But it doesn’t manage to distract me from thinking about Baz.

It makes a kind of sense, now that I think about it. Penny used to complain that I was obsessed with Baz. That I used to talk about him constantly. Seventh year she even put a limit on how many times I could mention his name in a conversation.

I’d argue it was because he was such a fucking wanker and as my best friend she should be an understanding audience for my litany of grievances. Not to mention she complained about Trixie just as much.

Maybe not as much. But certainly as vehemently.

But that doesn’t explain why I used to track him with my eyes. No matter where we were.

How I always knew where to find Baz.

Or why I nearly went mental eighth year when he didn’t show up for the first month of school. You’d think someone could have bothered to let me know he’d been hurt playing tennis and had surgery.

Or how I could recognize the scent of his posh shampoo if he’d been down a hallway before me, or what made me pause outside our room to listen to him play his violin.

How I still know the exact way Baz’s wet hair frames his face when he comes out of the shower.

Why the softness in his voice when he says my name now makes me shiver.

I am so fucked.

How am I going to share a room with him tonight, a bed with him tonight, when I want nothing more than to sink my hands into the silken mass of his hair and see the silver of his eyes gazing into mine?

I put the last dish in the rack and dry my hands on the nearest dishtowel.

Ebb’s hand taps my forearm. “Thank you, Simon. No need to worry about drying them or putting them away. I’ll be pulling them out for lunch anyway.”

I nod. “Right.”

I cast about for a topic of conversation and notice the hum I had heard at breakfast. “You said something about a generator earlier, Ebb?”

“Yeah. Power’s out all over town. The ice storm must have downed a line somewhere. We’ll be alright, never you worry. I had that generator put in a few years ago, thanks to Nicky’s nagging me. It does the job. Might find the house a bit cold as the day goes on. I need the power for the kitchen and freezer and the lights. That leaves me with less for the heating, if I want it to last.”

“How cold do you expect it to get?” I remember how Baz used to complain about the open window. He gets cold more easily than anyone I know. “Baz isn’t much used to the cold.”

“Shouldn’t be too bad. I’ve got plenty of blankets to spare and your room has a fireplace, which should help. Heat rises so the bedroom should be warm enough, if you keep the fire going through the night. I’ll make sure to put some of the extra blankets up there for you.” Her face creases in thought suddenly and her grip on my forearm tightens. “You’ll be alright up there another night, Simon? I had a different assumption when I put you boys there together . . .”

No help for it. I know she’s not got another room and after what I said to Baz last night about it not being a big deal to share a bed I can’t quite change my mind without arousing some suspicion on his part.

“No, it’s fine, Ebb. Just . . . uh . . . let’s just keep this conversation to ourselves? I don’t want Baz to have to worry about that too.”

“Worry about what?” Baz says, walking into the kitchen.

Fuck. How much did he hear?

“Uh, erm . . .”

Ebb saves the day. “I was telling Simon it might get a bit chilly upstairs tonight, with the power out and us relying on the generator. I’ve got plenty of blankets and firewood to keep your room comfortable.” She smiles at him and bumps my shoulder. “He didn’t want to worry you.”

Baz darts his eyes in my direction and there’s that softness in his gaze again. I’d call it fond, if I didn’t know better.

“I know you hate the cold.” I mumble. “Always complaining about the damn window.”

If anything, that makes him look even softer. “Thank you, Simon.”

I can’t even describe what it feels like to hear him call me that instead of Snow. I didn’t think he’d take me seriously, last night, when I told him I like it better. I thought he’d sneer or take the piss about it.

But he’s not called me Snow since I mentioned it.

Baz and I are smiling at each other and I can’t think of anything to say. It’s going to get awkward quickly if I don’t do something.

Thank the stars for Ebb. I don’t know what kind of fool I’d make of myself if it weren’t for her. She jumps right in again. “Simon’s been a dear to help me here in the kitchen. The dishwasher takes up more than its fair share of power.”

“You have enough to get through?” Baz asks, eyebrows coming together in concern.

“Oh, we’ll be fine. Not the first time and won’t be the last.” She grins at him. “I’m sure you boys have things to sort out about your plans. I’ll go fetch the extra blankets for your room and make sure you’ve enough firewood to last the night.”

And with that Ebb leaves the kitchen.

Which means I’m alone. With Baz.

Baz leans against the doorframe and arches one eyebrow. “I’ve been making some plans.”

“You’re good at that.”

Both eyebrows go up. “I’m glad you have such faith in me. I’m not so confident. Anything could happen with this blasted weather.”

It’s a bit surreal again, having such a civil conversation with Baz. I don’t trust my voice so I just nod.

“I found tickets to London. For tomorrow.”

This gets my attention. “I’ve got to do that myself, don’t I? With my refund voucher?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t want to risk losing them. They aren’t ideal.” His face colors a bit. It’s the oddest thing, seeing Baz blush.

I like it.

“What’s the issue?”

“Everything was booked. All I could find were two seats on Icelandair. It’s not a direct flight.”

“But my voucher is for British.” I’m a bit nervous now. Redeeming a refund voucher for a flight is one thing but I’m not in a position to pay for an entirely new flight.

I’ve got money. Enough to cover my usual monthly expenses. The care home internship doesn’t pay much but I’d saved enough for this trip and tucked a bit away for an emergency.

I suppose this is an emergency.

I’ve not thought this through, have I? There’s the room here, the rental car, this flight Baz has booked.

I should have stayed at the airport in New York. I can’t afford much more of this. I’d not been thinking of the cost, when I’d agreed to go with him.

I just couldn’t seem to say no once he’d asked.

Baz’s words break into my spiraling thoughts. “It’s fine. I took care of your ticket.” That doesn’t help.

“I’ll pay you back, of course. For the ticket.” I swallow and keep going. “And the rental car. And the room.” It’ll be a pretty big dent in my savings but I don’t like the idea of owing Baz money. “As soon as . . . as soon as we get back.” I swallow again. “If it’s alright to wait that long?”

He’s giving me the oddest look.

Baz

I knew he’d start blustering about the money. I don’t want him to worry. I know he’s good for it and honestly, I’m the one who dragged him on this road trip. I’d never intended for him to foot any of the bill for the car or accommodations. Or the flight upgrade.

“Simon. It’s fine, truly. I didn’t want to lose the ticket. You’ll get the refund from British when you get back. You can pay me then. And I’ll not hear one word about you paying for the car or the room.” I take a step closer to him. “I practically demanded you accompany me on this disaster of a road trip. There is no way I’ll accept money from you for any of this. I’ll take no argument on that.”

“But . . . but . . .”

I frown. “Not a word, Simon. I’d be paying for all of it if I’d been alone. I won’t hear any more on the subject. We’ll sort the ticket issue when we get home. For now, let’s hope the flight I booked actually leaves tomorrow.”

I’m going to get an argument from him. I can tell by the way his jaw is jutting forward. I know this look.

Simon

A part of me is relieved to hear him say that but I also don’t think it’s fair. It’s not like he kidnapped me and whisked me away against my will.

I’m here because I want to be.

“It’s not like I’m here unwillingly, Baz. I should pay my fair share.”

He rolls his eyes. “I told you I’d be paying for this all, whether you were here or not. It’s been much more pleasant for me, to have your company, but that certainly doesn’t put any obligation on you. I invited you. If anything, you’re my guest. No more arguments, Simon. Let it be.”

Did Baz say my company was pleasant?

I blink at him for a moment, unsure how to process that. “I’m paying you back for the ticket, as soon as we get home.” I’ve said that already but my mind’s a blank.

“I know that. It never crossed my mind to doubt that you would. The rest isn’t important, Simon. I’m grateful to have you with me.”

There’s that softness again. In his voice and in his eyes. He’s saying things in Baz’s voice that I’d never imagined I’d hear Baz say. He’s looking at me in a way I’ve never seen before.

Ebb’s words come back to me. He is surprising me.

I don’t know what it means.

Baz

Simon eventually stops arguing about the money. I’m sure it’ll come up again, once we get home. But for now, he’s letting it rest.

We’re in Ebb’s front room, seated in front of a roaring fire. I’d finally managed to drag him out of the kitchen.

It’s a cosy room, lined with bookshelves, overstuffed chairs and long, low sofas. There are piles of board games and puzzles. Ebb brought in a platter of biscuits a short while ago.

It’s also full of all the other people who are staying here. There aren’t many but still more than enough for me.

We’ve made their acquaintance, thanks to their proximity in this room. Americans are so forthright about themselves. It’s quite unsettling.  

Simon is on a first name basis with most of them now and has uncovered such depths of back story on each of them that it’s making my head spin.

I’d finally retreated to this corner. There is only so much conversation with strangers that I can take under the best of circumstances.

Simon eventually made his way back to me, a plate of biscuits in hand. He’s polished them all off.

I managed to eat one.

He’s here and we’re bickering and it reminds me so much of how we used to be, except it’s got none of the bitterness.

“I’ve never been to Iceland.”

“It’s not like we’re going to see any of it. I think we’ve only got an hour or two at the airport there.”

“It still counts as another country I’ve been to, Baz.”

“Layovers don’t count.”

“Do to me.”

“How can they count if all you see is the airport and a lavatory? You don’t get any sense of the culture that way.”

Simon frowns. “You get plenty sense of a place from lavatories.”

I don’t want to think about that.

Midday comes and goes and Ebb feeds us all again. Simon volunteers to help with the washing up again and I find myself drying the dishes as he washes them.

It’s mindless work but it lets me be near him and indulge myself.

It’s inconsequential conversation but it makes me think that perhaps, in these new circumstances, that possibly we can find a way to be friends.

I’d like that.

I’d like that a lot.

Simon

I’d offered to help Ebb again but I hadn’t expected Baz to join me.

It’s oddly domestic and I can’t say I object to it.

The rest of the afternoon passes slowly. I unwisely convince Baz to play chess and as expected he trounces me handily. We end up playing three games and he annihilates me each time.

You’d think I’d be more frustrated about losing but I like watching him as he thinks through his moves. He’s seated across from me so it’s natural for me to face him. And study him. It’s probably why I’m losing so badly. I should be contemplating the board, not Baz.

Baz is far more interesting.

Ebb feeds us again at dinnertime and I swear I’ll not fit in my jeans if we stay one more day here. I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten so well.

I can sense Baz has had his fill of people.

He’s a brilliant conversationalist and can talk to anyone but I’ve realized it wears on him. He far preferred hanging about in our room than loitering in the common areas at school. The first years I assumed it was because he thought he was better than everyone else. Or wanted to irritate me by always being around.

But that’s not it. People just wear him out.

Penny’s that way too. She’s got a few friends that I swear she’d die for but outside of that small circle she simply can’t be bothered. “You have too many friends, Simon,” she’d say. “You can’t invest yourself in that many people. It’s exhausting.”

“Ready to go up to the room, Baz? Call it a night?” It’s early yet but I can tell he’s done with small talk.

“Sounds good to me.” There’s relief in his eyes and also a glint of something else. I can’t place it. Probably just relief. I’m too eager to read more into every little thing he does tonight.

I grab a puzzle from the stack on the nearby table, in case we need something to pass the time. Knowing Baz, he’s got a book stashed in that bag of his.

That’s fine. I can entertain myself with the puzzle if need be.

Our sitting room is freezing. Blast it. Ebb told me to start the fire before we wanted to come up for the night and I’d completely forgotten about it.

Baz gets the fire blazing in no time but it’s going to take hours for these rooms to heat up.

“I’ll find the blankets Ebb brought, shall I?”

“Good thought. This feels like a bloody icebox. I’ll come up with you. I need another layer.”

The room upstairs is even colder. I don’t know how we’re going to sleep up here if it doesn’t warm up. I don’t think even the stack of blankets Ebb left us is going to do much.

We’re both back by the fireplace in moments, huddled on the floor, as close to the heat as we can get. I’ve got a blanket over my shoulders and Baz has another tightly wrapped around his.

I’m leaning against the armchair behind me, watching the flickering light play over Baz’s face. He’s bathed in the golden glow and he’s close enough to touch.

Baz

It’s bloody cold in here.

I’m as close to the fire as I can get, closer to it than Simon is. He’s leaning against one of the armchairs but I’ve tucked myself right next to the fireplace, curled up so the heat reaches me and turned enough that I can still see him.

He looks golden in this light—his hair, his skin, the light reflecting in his eyes.

He’s beautiful.

His hair’s a mess, curls springing up and flopping onto his forehead.  The blanket hides the rest of him, except for his legs which are stretched out mere inches away from me.

He has a hole in one sock.

In my fantasies I’d tell him I was still too cold. And he’d tell me to come sit next to him. I’d lean into his warmth and let him chase the chill away.

In my reality I lean against the cold stone of the fireplace and try to tuck as much of myself under the blanket as I can. The fire is warming my face and hands but isn’t doing much for the rest of me.

Simon  

I think about going upstairs and getting another blanket for Baz. He’s pressed up to the fireplace, blanket wrapped around him, just his face and hands out. He’s curled up into a ball but I can see he’s shivering.

I’m about to stand up when I get a better idea. I’m not sure I’d be daring enough to suggest it under any other circumstances.

But I feel reckless at the moment.

“Baz.”

He turns to look at me. “Yes?”

“Come here.”

“What?”

“Come here. You’re freezing. If we share the blankets it’ll be like we each have two.”

He stares at me, not moving, eyes wide and dark.

I’m an idiot. Of course, he’s not moving.  He doesn’t want to be further away from the fire. I don’t know what I was thinking to suggest that.

But a moment later he’s at my side, seated shoulder to shoulder with me. Baz won’t meet my eyes but he lets me drape my blanket over him too. He pulls his knees up and places his blanket over our legs, shifting closer to me as he does.

“It might be warmer this way.” He’s so close but I still have to dip my head to hear him, his words are said so quietly. The familiar scent of him, cedar and bergamot, overwhelms me. His face in inches away. I could reach out and tuck that strand of hair behind his ear. I could . . .

It’s awkward with our shoulders pressed together, bumping and jostling. We’d have more blanket cover if I put my arm around him and pulled him closer.

I stop thinking about it and just do it.

He tucks himself into my side, finding his position as if he’s always had a place there.

Maybe he has.

He doesn’t speak again but when his head drops onto my shoulder I feel like a puzzle piece has clicked into place.

I’ve got Baz Pitch in my arms.

It feels good. It feels right.

Baz  

My fantasies have become a reality. I am curled up in front of a fire, in the arms of Simon Snow.

Christ, I’m living a charmed life.

Simon

I could kiss him. I could dip down and kiss the top of his head. Could breathe in the scent of his hair. See if it’s as soft as it looks. Sink my fingers into it as I lift his face to mine.

Baz

I could kiss him. I could tilt my head up and look into those impossibly blue eyes and kiss him. Trace my lips up his neck, follow that line of moles up his jaw.

Kiss that mole on his cheek that I love.

I could do it.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Simon

I need to stop thinking about kissing him. I’d not even expected this, when we came upstairs. I might have pictured it in my head, might have fantasized about it a bit when I brought the blankets down.

I thought he’d curl up in a chair with his book. That I’d sprawl out of the floor with the puzzle.

This is far better.

I don’t want to do anything to unsettle him.

I’ve got to stop thinking about kissing him.

It’s difficult when he’s so close.

I want him close.

So, of course, I decide to start talking.

“You all right, Baz? Warm enough?”

I’m such an idiot.

His head comes off my shoulder and he straightens up, shifting slightly away from me. “Yes, yes. Much better. Sorry, didn’t mean to crowd you there.” He shakes his head and tries to shift away a bit more. “I’m fine now. It’s warming up in here. ” It’s not appreciably warmer. I know he’s just saying that.

I tighten my arm around his shoulder. I should shut up but my mouth keeps forming words. “I didn’t ask because I wanted you to move away.”

That makes him turn to look at me. He’s so close. I could lean forward and touch his lips with mine.

But I don’t.

“Just stay, Baz. Stay with me here. Please.” It comes out as a whisper.

Miraculously he does just that. He looks at me for a moment and then he shifts closer again, letting me pull him to me.

When he finally brings his head to rest on my shoulder again I let myself exhale the breath I’d been holding.

I do what I wanted to do before. I brush my lips on his hair and then rest my cheek on his head. His hair is as soft as I’ve imagined. Softer.

I’ve got him where I want him.  Where he belongs.

Where I belong.

Baz

I think he kissed the top of my head. I may be delirious and just imagining it. I don’t know. I wonder if Simon can feel how rapidly my heart is beating.

I feel drunk. Light-headed. The clean, sharp scent of Simon Snow is all around me.

He’s all around me. I’m overwhelmed with his proximity. His arm is holding me close, my toes are tucked under his thigh, his head is resting on mine and I think I must be dreaming.

I don’t want to wake up from this.

[oohfluffy]

LMN Ch.1 | OSH

Group: EXO

Member: Oh Sehun

Theme: Angst | Fluff | Writer!AU | Neighbor!AU

Word Count: 2,318

✎ Chapter 1: Endings ✎

Fresh red petals fell from above as the box that carries his once brightest star, now gets buried several feet from below the ground, dimming its light as it gets farther down.

And she's gone.

His tears couldn't bring her back. His prayers wouldn't get answered despite his faithfulness. His heart wouldn't ever be fixed since the only one who can put every pieces of it is now gone.

He should've made every second worth it before she's out of his grasp.

He should've made sure she heard his 'I love you's a billion times before she closed her eyes into a deep sleep.

He should've made everything perfect that day when he asked her to be his girlfriend since he ended up ruining everything.

He was a jerk to her at first, he admits that.

But he truly loved her.

It was just too late before they both realized—

They can't be.

It was too late for regrets.

Only memories will remain.

But he knows he will always be the same.

Loving her will be his greatest achievement in life.

"SERIOUSLY, NOONA?!"

You almost jumped out of your seat, turning your swivel chair with a hand on your chest.

"I just fucking read the ending of your recent story! Did you seriously need to let her die?!"

"Watch your words, Yeol." You rolled your eyes as Chanyeol's legs gave up, looking at you with sorrowful eyes. You pushed your eyeglasses up as you stared at him. "Get out if you're just gonna rant about the ending of MY story." You turned your back on your younger brother and continued planning your next story.

You're an amateur writer, 25 years old, already wrote 3 best-selling books but unfortunately they're all—

"All of your books has sad endings! Don't you have a heart, noona?!"

You scratched the back of your neck as you can't concentrate with your work.

"Just go and study. You have classes tomorrow."

"Can you promise me one thing?"

Your eyebrows shot up as Chanyeol's pleading voice rang through your ears.

"What?"

"Please make a happy ending for your next story, noona. Please."

Chanyeol reads every book you publish, may it be online or the hardcopy one. You can say that he's your number one fan. Obviously, he's a book lover. He only started becoming one when you became a writer. Such a good dongsaeng he is, right?

You sighed.

This was the 4th time he's asking you for a happy ending.

"I told you, I can't—"

"Why though? Is it because you broke up with your boyfriend?"

"Yeol, you know that's not the reason behind our break-up."

You turned to him again, speaking with your eyes as you saw him pout in defeat. He stood up and walked towards you. You followed his movements and closed your eyes as he landed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"Okay, I won't ask anymore. Sorry for startling you earlier, noona. I was just carried away. You know how your stories affect me." You chuckled as Chanyeol hugged you like a kid to his mom. You patted his head with a smile. "I'll always be your number one fan, noona."

"Mmm. Please do." You hummed as you squeezed him tighter.

"Your heartbeat really calms me, noona."

"Perhaps because it might stop any minute—"

"Yah! That was—"

"Shush." You gently pulled him away, flicking his forehead as he stood up. "You have exams tomorrow, right? You should study not—"

"Ne, ne. I will, noona! If I get on the top 5 for this semester, you'll make a happy ending for your next story, okay?"

With your younger brother's big eyes, big ears, reddish cheeks and cute grin, you nodded with a sigh.

He's 19 and in the 2nd year of studying Architecture in EXO university but he's still a kid to you.

"Fine, fine. I will try."

"Don't just try!"

You literally pushed him out of your room and closed the door since he won't stop talking.

Chanyeol's right though.

Your endings always have a rainy day, much to Chanyeol's chagrin.

It will always start with light-going events to the romantic scene of the main characters to the arrival of the conflict and then to the tragic death of the female character.

It always leaves the boy alone.

Broken.

"Back to work." You muttered to yourself as you sat down on your swivel chair and faced your laptop again. Your eyes focused on the screen as you typed the title of your new book.

| Love Me |

Your eyebrow scrunched together as you stared at the words.

"It's too common." You pressed the backspace bar as you bit your lip in concentration. "I should probably complete my plot first. Yeah. I'll do that."

You leaned back on your swivel chair and glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall in front of you. A picture of your family was taped beside it, making your lips curl up into a smile.

Your eyes drifted back to the calendar.

Today's November 20.

"4 months left." You whispered as you closed your eyes, resting them for awhile. "I'll finish the book before that."

I promise.

"Let's start brainstorming then."

You shut your eyes open with a motivated grin and quickly clicked Microsoft Word to begin writing.

"I can do this!"

✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ✘

"Dasom, I can't do this."

She just scoffed as she let herself fall on your bed.

"This is not the first time you've said that and still ending up being the best author of the year. Stop kidding around, Park Yeoreum." Dasom closed her eyes as you continued staring at your laptop with an empty notepad.

"I swear! This is the first time I've ever been hit with a hard mind-block! I can't even think of a nice plot!" You groaned as you lightly bumped your head on your desk in frustration. "I'm going down!"

"You're being annoying, you know. Just clear your mind first. Relax for a week or something before diving into the world of your dark fantasies, my friend. Your books suck."

"My readers love my books, Dasom. They don't suck."

"Bad endings suck! Did you even think of your readers' hearts? I think they always break whenever they read your books."

You huffed as you turned to her.

"Happy endings don't happen unless you die with a happy life. My books contain all the truth you should know about life, not just sickeningly sweet romance that you can't ever have in life forever. Everything's bound to be broken and fixed." You looked up as you played with a toy of a fluffy white puppy. "It's just sometimes we don't know how to bring the pieces back together, that's why we end up crying and sad until the end. Life goes on whatever happens. You shouldn't get caught up with your broken heart and focus on moving forward instead."

"That's always the moral lesson in my mind whenever I finish a story." You smiled at the stuff toy in your hands.

"No wonder you're a great author. You say wonderful words." Dasom sat up straight, eyes wide open as she gapped at you.

You laughed at her comment.

"You'll come up with something, trust me." She shrugged.

"Thanks." You put down the stuff toy back on your desk. "Where are your younger sisters, by the way?"

"They're downstairs with your own sister. Probably gossiping about their crushes in college. Those girls really." Dasom shook her head as she stood up and walked towards you. She suddenly has a soft and worried expression on her face.

"I know that look." You looked back at your laptop and avoided her stare.

"I'm just worried. You know you can always count on me, okay?"

Your eyes went down on your keyboard as they slightly burned. You brought your hand to your chest, feeling the normal beats of your heart.

"There's nothing to worry about, Dasom. Everything will be fine."

You heard her sigh in defeat as she opened the door.

"Just call me if you need anything, okay?"

You hummed in reply, not bothering to look back at her as she stared at your back. With the last sigh released, she went out and close the door.

"Time's running, Yeoreum. Think fast." You mumbled as you opened a notebook before getting a black pen from your pencil case.

"We can start with the characters. Their traits, hobbies, relationships, etcetera." You scribbled on your notebook as your mind slowly started working. "Settings."

You smiled as you almost filled the page with writings.

"Main conflict..."

And you're back to none.

"Shit." You slumped on your chair as you cursed. "What the heck is the conflict now?"

You groaned as you stared at your notebook.

"Help me." You mumbled as you looked up on the ceiling.

A knock on your door interrupted you, making you grunt in response.

"Unnie, dinner's ready." Chanhee, your youngest dongsaeng, called out as she slowly opened your door. "Are you busy?"

"No, I, uh..." You sat up straight as you closed your notebook. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay then! Don't stress yourself out, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Dasom unnie already went home with Bora and Soyu. They said goodbye to me for you too."

"Is that so?"

"Yep! Come down, okay?"

You looked at the door as it closed.

"I think I need a break for awhile."

"Bye, noona!"

Chanyeol waved his hand as he went out of the house, leaving you with your parents and Chanhee at the table.

"He's still at that convenience store?" You asked, grabbing a glass of water.

"It's a good thing for us. Your brother's so enthusiastic about helping in our family's needs. Even Chanhee's working part-time in that ice-cream store near their school." Your mother said as she smiled at you.

"If you're all doing this so I can—"

"Stop now." Your father's stern voice echoed the room. "Just finish eating and go back to your room. Let your sister do the rest."

"I'm not a disabled person, dad. I can wash the dishes for this night—"

"You're disobeying me now, Yeoreum?"

You felt your father's hard stare, making you land your sight on your plate.

"N-No. I just want to help like before—"

"The only thing you can do is to listen to what I say and stay in your room."

You harshly dropped your glass, making Chanhee jump from her seat beside you. You stood up and walked upstairs without a word.

"Yeoreum, darling." Your mother's soothing voice called out as she stood up. But then the thud of your door made her sit back down. "Why can't you control your temper for once, In Sung?!"

"She won't back down if I go easy on her, Ga-in. You know how hard-headed she is. She's already an adult that can make her own choices but for her condition—"

"I understand your point but you'll hurt her in the process!"

"I-I'll go start washing the dishes."

As Chanhee spoke softly, it made the couple shut their mouths.

"I'm sorry, Chanhee—"

"It's fine to talk about unnie's condition because you're both worried, but please stop fighting. She won't be happy with it."

In Sung and Ga-in looked at each other as the youngest of their children went to the sink, leaving them speechless.

✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ 

"Just give me a little bit of inspiration, please." You mumbled as you wrote on your notebook again.

It was the third day of your empty page in your laptop. It was depressing to see.

"Noona?"

"Yeah, come in."

As Chanyeol went inside your room, your eyes remained on your notebook. He peeked at what you're writing and gasped.

"What?" You turned to him with an eyebrow raised.

"You're writing!" His fanboy feels started attacking him again, making you roll your eyes.

"Duh." You huffed, turning back to your notebook. "Fuck, yeol. You ruined it!"

"I didn't do anyth—"

"You distracted me, now my mind's blank!"

Chanyeol jutted his lower lip as he stared at you.

"Sorry."

"What are you doing here anyway?" You groaned as you rested your head on your hands placed on the desk. "You're not here to rant about the ending again, are you?"

"No, no! I'm just here to inform you something."

"What is it?"

"My best friend will be moving in the house next door. He's taking Architecture too! Everyone loves him like he's a god or something—"

"Why do I need to know this?" You lazily replied, looking at your window that shows another window of the house next door.

"Well, Chanhee's excited to meet him. You know how stupid she is when it comes to college boys. Sehun's a jerk though, so she shouldn't." Chanyeol said as he walked towards your bed, lying down as if he owned it. "I don't even know how we stayed as friends. He's a good guy but a playboy. He enjoys wrapping all the girls around his fingers. I think he even sleeps around. I tried talking to him about his ways but he's a hard-headed person like you. So I gave up and just let him do whatever he wants since he's handsome and smart. And--"

All of Chanyeol's words was taken in by your brain, making it start working like a machine. Your head shot up as you opened your notebook and wrote the ideas you suddenly have.

"You're a fucking genius, Yeol! I love you!"

Your younger brother just stared cluelessly at your smiling face as you wrote on your notebook.

"What? Did I say something awesome?" Chanyeol scratched the back of his head with a confused expression but suddenly grinned. "Whatever. As long as I can help!"

Yep, you did help.

—

❥ Ch.2

[left-myself-in-the-alleyway]

Forever & Always

Part 3

Warning: Descriptive abuse, panic attack(s) touches lightly on drinking

To anyone who reads this: I wrote this part before I did any research on panic attacks and such so please be kind.

Thanks to @momobucketcomics for editing/co-writing this and making the mood board below.

More thanks to @devotedlybeautifulkingdom- (Tumblr won’t let me tag you!) for showing support for this story.

-

I felt someone rubbing my back. Someone, or something was comforting me, telling me I was safe. In the state I was in, I'm surprised I could hear it at all. I could feel the sweat trickling down my face, leaving a wet, slimy trail. I also felt myself calming down, albeit slowly.

It's okay. It's okay. I kept telling myself, desperately wanting to believe it.

I sat up straight and leaned back, still trying to fill my lungs. I could barely get enough air in them without feeling like I was suffocating.

I heard someone say my name.

"Mmhhmm...?" I mumble, my eyes still shut tight.

"Evelyn, can you please open your eyes?" I hear a voice that sounds like Tony ask, sounding... concerned?

Slowly, I comply to my so-called father's wishes.

I opened my eyes to see a sea of faces staring at me, worried expressions on their faces.

...Last time I checked, there weren't this many people in the room. Damn, I'm seeing double again.

I rubbed my eyes and took a deep breath. Finally, my head was clear enough to speak normally. "I'm sorry... overreaction." I try to cover up.

"I would like to apologize for asking you that. I didn't know you would react that badly." Thor explained. It was badly worded, but...I knew what he meant.

"It's okay. It's not your fault- I shouldn't have let my mind wander..." The last words drifted off into a mutter- I wonder if he could hear me.

"Do I have a room?" I ask quietly. I don't want to stay here for much longer.

"Yes, I um. Yeah." Tony still looked a bit freaked out about my panic attack. I hope he hasn't bitten off more than he can chew by taking me in...

"I can take her to her room, Tony." Steve offers.

"Thanks, Steve." He replied, walking away.

Steve gave me a smile. "Follow me."

Dragging my feet, I grab my backpack and duffle bag. Panic attacks are exhausting.

As soon as we leave the room, it's just the two of us. The hubbub in the last room seemed to have vanished from existence, as if nothing had happened at all. Huh, guess they have soundproofing here too.

"Are you okay?" He asked as the elevator started to move.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I say, trying to get some form of a smile to form on my face. I hate it when people worry about me- I feel like I'm just a nuisance to them.

"You know, when I first came out of the ice, I had panic attacks. Everything was really overwhelming." He admitted. "I found the best thing I could do was talk to people about what happened. War is an ugly thing. You see a lot of things you wish you hadn't."

"It sounds like...you had a hard time leaving the past in the past and embracing the future" I say quietly as we navigate the halls, a whisper being all I could muster.

"You're pretty smart for someone so young. But that is something that you should remember too. Your past may determine your future, but it doesn't have to rule it." He explains as we come to my door, his pure blue eyes boring into my hazel ones.

"If you ever need anything at all, and you can't find Tony, don't be afraid to come to me for help." He said softly. "Just ask JARVIS to take you to my apartment. It's on this floor."

I scrunch my eyebrows. Apartment? "Everyone here has half a floor, except for myself and Tony. He has a whole floor to himself. I have almost a whole floor, so that's why Tony figured it would be a good idea to put you here." He explained.

My eyes go wide. "That's right, you get a small apartment just for you." He chuckled.

I smiled to myself. Maybe this won't be so bad.

"Remember what I said." He says, walking away.

I walk into my room, exhausted. I let go of my bags, letting them land wherever. It's so clean in here, I feel a slight twinge of guilt for messing up the neatness of everything with my scruffy baggage. I look at the rustic, brown clock. Thank God it’s not some weird futuristic aesthetic design, I hate that kind of stuff . It's 6:00.

That means it's only 3:00 back home.

Home. Somehow, the word feels foreign in my mouth- like a new shoe that'll take getting used to, or... Something.

I look at my messy bags laying haphazardly on the floor. My other luggage must be downstairs, wherever Mr. Hogan put them. I'm too tired to care about anything right now. I've got so much to do, but I can't resist taking a quick nap- Then I'll unpack and check out the rest of the apartment.

I flop down on the couch. Closing my eyes, I still can't believe how much my life could change so much over the course of a few hours.

-

Tony trodded over to the lounge bar, searching for the drink he had left behind earlier. He chugged down the glass of alchohol. Even though it was now room-temperature, he savored it rushing down his throat. Then, without even thinking, he poured himself a glass of the strongest bottle on the shelf- Devil's Springs Vodka. He collapsed on the couch sipping his strong drink.

-

"No, no! Stop it!" I scream at my mother.

She had just returned from wherever it was that she went. Probably the bar, considering her words were extremely slurred. With every step she took, it was heavier than anything- like ten earthquakes simultaneously rocking my world.

She was hitting me, landing blow after blow over and over again. I wish it would stop.

I need it to stop!

I almost got away, but she latched onto my shirt and pulled me back.

"Oh, darling. You're not getting away that easily!" She laughed as she dug her long, inhumanly sharp nails into my arms. I cried out as I felt the skin start to split and bleed.

She shoved me onto the floor. Before I could be relieved at her release, my head caught the corner of the table on my way down. Pain exploded through my head, and I could feel hot blood welling up somewhere on my face. Through my blurry, spotted vision I saw her chug down another bottle of vile-smelling beer.

Then, instead of doing what I hoped she would do, she threw it at me. I screamed as it shattered on the floor, showering me in broken shards. I cried out one last time as I felt the pieces of glass embed themselves in my flesh, burning deeper and deeper inside me. As I struggled to run away, my hands slipped on the floor that was pooling with my blood and tears. It rose ever higher, fueled by my bodily fluids, threatening to flood the entire room. The salty mixture seeped into my fresh wounds, burning them black.

Before I black out, I hear her say something. Her voice was no longer slurred, but crystal clear. It was sick and twisted, familiar and yet of something nightmarish that you'd only hear in the darkest depths of hell.

"Remember, Evelyn; however far you run, no matter how hard you fight back, I will be with you. Forever... and Always." As she growled those last words, everything faded away into darkness.

-

I shot up out of my restless slumber, drenched in cold sweat. My heart was pounding. I quickly pulled up the sleeves of my pullover, thinking I had woken up after being knocked out. There were only fading bruises and scars. Then, I remembered where I was. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I glanced at the clock. I only slept for 45 minutes, and I'd managed to have one of the worst nightmares in history. Oh, jeez.

I started unpacking my measly possessions. Anything to get my mind off That.

Someone had brought the rest of my bags up and put them in my room. I plopped down on the pristine bedsheets, feeling myself sink down into the mattress. It felt much comfier up here than on the couch. Maybe if I'd crashed on an actual bed, I'd have been spared the horrors of that nightmare.

I hung up a few of my tops in the closet. Most of my clothing consisted of long-sleeved sweaters, which I used to wear to school to hide the marks. I also had one sundress and two maxi skirts. They were beautiful, but I couldn't remember the last time I wore them. Standing on my tiptoes, I put a few of my pants and shorts on the shelves. Some of them were messed up, but I threw them in anyway. I was never any good at folding clothes. From there, I head into the bathroom to unpack all of makeup and other... Necessities.

I wonder if there's any dishes in the cupboards. Skipping off to the mini-kitchen, I went to check. Sure enough, there was. There was also food in the fridge! Am I supposed to live by myself, completely? I wonder to myself, checking out the other contents of the various drawers. The countertops were sparkling, and even inside the compartments of the kitchen, not a jar was out of place. Just the way it will stay, clean.

I fiddled with my phone, looking for my favorite playlist. Ah, found it.

Forgettable by Project 46 filled my ears.

I absentmindedly started to hum along to the song- This soon developed into quiet singing.

The song's beautiful and uplifting melody rejuvenated me. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, as I started organizing.

I adjusted a photo of me and my cat, trying to get it just right. I finally get it to sit at the right angle on the little counter beside the kitchen. As I subconsciously sung to the tune of my music, I stepped back to examine the angle of the frame. Suddenly, in between songs, I heard something behind me. It sounded kinda large- maybe mice? Huh, not if the cleaning team can help it. Really Evelyn, this is Stark towers. There won't be mice here. After ridiculing myself a bit more I turn around, thinking I might make some tea. I nearly screamed when I saw a figure in my doorway...

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

will this be a legit tumblr fic series? no, absolutely not I just felt like writing something. Everything else will be bullet points since I can knock out like, two to three seasons in one go.

Shannon (Shan) Maywether.

Oc introduction P1

This takes place in between season 1 episodes 10 and 11 in like a mini sode I like to call "Eye of Unfairness" its a play off the fact Shan means unfortunate and unfair in Scottish (something I recently learned)

Also feel free to change out Shannon's/Shans name for your OC if you want to! I don't mind! Keep in mind this fic was made with Shannon's personality and physical condition in mind. I also wouldn't mind feed back!

Third person POV

A day had passed since the reveal of the green ninja. It was a surprise to learn that Lloyd, a kid, was the supposed chosen one. It was shock to, well everyone on board the Bounty.

It was Wednesday, so Shannon was tasked with cooking for the day. She stood, cutting vegetables for the side dish she was wiping up alongside the English breakfast she had made. Her mind was filled with ‘what if's’. As an older sister to 10 younger brothers, 4 of which that happen to be around Lloyd’s age it was startling for her. There was no telling when the 'Final Battle' will take place and what would happen during it, took the focus from the sharp edge of the blade she was holding.

"ow, damn it-" dropping the knife on the cutting board as she cursed. Bringing the cut wound to her lips she sucked on it as she searched for the bandages they kept in the kitchen just incase if kind of thing happened.

After finding bandages and bandaging the cut Shannon finished fixing up the salad. Just as she set the freshly tossed salad on the table the other residents of the ship walked in.

"Morning Shannon" "Mornin' Zane"

The other ninja mumbled a good morning as well as they took their set's at the table and began eating the breakfast prepared.

"Hay Shannon what happened to your hand?" Lloyd asked looking at the older girls hand.

"Oh, accidently cut myself." She replied placing her coffee cup down looking over at the small blonde. She ruffled his hair earning a ‘stop it’ from the boy, and chuckled at how messy his hair was now. 

The rest of breakfast went without much problem seeing as how everyone was still riding down from the adrenaline that was yesterday. It all seemed peaceful still Garmadon walked in.

Shannon's POV

Garm walked in, late as usual. And as usual we where all kinda put off with what he was eating. Dark matter grubs I think there called? Never payed much attention to this sorta thing really. I just can't get the truth we uncovered yesterday. Lloyd being the green ninja. Its going to hard for him I can tell.

Letting out an tried sigh I got up with my now empty plate and made my way over to the sink.

"Shannon, the Bounty is landing in a bit. You wanna come run groceries with me?" Nya asked as I passed her.

"Uhh, sure just tell me when you're planning on leaving." "You got it!"

____

Third person POV

As stated by Nya the Bounty had landed not long after they finished washing the dishes. The boys were outside training. Shannon seated cross-legged on the steps just watching with Wu. Garmadon had disappeared back into the ship, probably his room for the time being. Lloyd was hanging around the place too, inside reading. And Nya was getting ready to head out.

It wouldn't be for another 10 minutes till Garmadon emerged from where ever he was.

And unfortunately for everyone he was at the steps of the ship leading to where the ninja were training, and felt like causing some chaos.

Now it's not the man's fault, he has the venom of an equally evil snake brooding in his veins.

He knew he couldn't mess with the ninja, it was like a principle thing seeing as how they where tolerating his presence on the ship. Wu literally came to what might have been hell to most folks and brought him back to Ninjago to save his son. Nyas off limits, and as much as he wants to, his son, Lloyd is probably still shaken from not just the green ninja thing, but the snakes as well.

Which left Shannon.

The young lady had made it clear since there first interaction, that she held nothing against the dark lord. In fact she even played along with his bullshit if she felt like it. Best part, she can hold her own too. She may not train with the boys often but she knows spinjitzu, and has proven to be a good fighter, Shans just lax and a go with the flow kind of person.

With that in mind, he decided to make a comment.

"Not going to change?"

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Shannon questioned, she didn't bother to look at him, as she took a swig from her tea that Wu had generously offered.

"With the amount of purple you wear you might get mistaken for a snake"

"Phff, at least I don't look like a took a bath in tar"

With that, a swift yet not powerful smack to the back of the teens head was earned. It was supposed to be playful, harmless but as the force of the hit passed through the youngers head, the sound of heavy glass hitting wood made itself known. This caused the boys to stop and turn there attention back over to the steps on the deck. As Shannon looked up, it became evidently clear she was missing her right eye.

Panic ensues.

Jay, Cole, Kai, and Zane screamed at the fact there friends eye was now just gone. Garmadons just standing there questioning if he put more power than he initially thought he did. Wu went wide eyes as he stared at the girl next to him, seeing small streams of blood leak out the now empty eye socket. Lloyd and Nya came running out to only to scream themselves.

With a sigh Shannon picked up her Eye and monical that had fallen.

"Guys, chill out!" She yelled.

"CHILL OUT! SHAN YOU EYE FEEL OUT OF YOUR HEAD" the Blue ninja yelled. Pointing at the eye in the Burnetts hand.

"Its a glass eye bolts for brain's" Shan retorted.

"Glass eye?" Cole repeated.

"Yes, a glass eye! Why did you think I wore a monocle instead of regular glasses? Sure I can't see jack with my right eye but it acts as a shield of sorts!"

"I-im so sorry, are you okay Shannon?" Garmadon asked.

"Ya, im fine" she answered.

____

After that everyone had gone inside. Zane grabbed the medical kit to disinfect and put a temporary patch over Shannon's eye. Garmadon had taken the glass eye and with the recommended disinfectant Shannon just so happen to have on her, put the bloody thing in a black glass cup filled with warm water and the disinfectant liquid mixture, to clean it. He may be the bad guy, but he's never really hurt anyone to the point they lose something like an eye.

Once done he gave the glass to Shannon who was now sitting in the armchair.

"So, umm how'd you uh- you know lose you eye?" Kai asked weirly, he feared there might be some sort of trauma along with it and didn't want to trigger it.

"You don't have to tell us!" Nya quickly added.

"Na its fine" Shannon said as she waved off there concerns.

"I was about seven when it happened. Home invasion. The guy had a gun. I had heard sound from downstairs and curiosity got the best of me. I think your all smart enough to piece together what happened next" she said. Everyone kinda relied back at the mear mental image.

"Yikes" Jay, shivered at the thought of it.

"I mean it’s not all that bad I guess. Altho I didn't have a say in whether or not I got a fake eye"

"What do you mean you didn't get a say in it?"

"It’s exactly as I say it is. When I woke up my depth perception was crap, but I had both my eyes. It wasn't until the doctor told me my parents were admit about me having one"

"So are, you like going to be ok or?"

"I'll be fine green bean, if anything this was a good thing, means I need a new one. Thankfully I shot my brother text about one lot long ago." Shannon said dismissively

"Brother?" Wu questioned.

"Okay, Nya you ready to got out?"

"Ya but it can wait-" "I'm good, I swear Nya lets go" the older girl instead as she got up and dragged Nya out the ship for their planned outing. (She put the glass with the eye in the table as they left)

"Well that was, concerning" Cole said as the two girls disappeared.

____

It was around midday the girls were not back yet. Jay was still unnerved by the eye in the cup being in such an open area, moved it over to the kitchen counter. Training was cut short because of the incident. Wu taking into account not just the mental impact of one of his charges eyes popping up in front of them, but the buildup of stuff they'd been having to deal with since his absence. Besides when the girls get back they all need to talk of a plan to get the Fang Blades back from the Serpentine before they can awaken the Devourer. 

Wu and his brother where out front on the deck talking, it felt like forever to the two of them since they last spoke in such good terms. The guys (pluss Lloyd) where inside playing video games as a pass time. It wasn't long after when the sound of a car, a taxi, could be heard coming there way. As the taxi came to a stop the guys had logged off there game and stepped out to grate the return of the only two females on their team. 

But instead of the raven and green tipped brunette haired, a blond tipped brunette boy stepped out the vehicle (not before paying of course) and made his way over to the Bounty. 

“umm, dumb question since there aren't many flying ships around, but is this the Destiny's Bounty?” The Boy asked as he neared the ship. upon closer inspection the boy was wearing a leather jacket with a white under shirt, and jeans with a pair of black converse. He had a mailman bag slung over his shoulder. 

“ya it is, what bring you all the way out here though?” Cole answered as he crossed his arms. attempting to look menacing which seemed to be working.   

“uh, I came to drop something off for my sister, Shannon?” The boy answered.

“Shannon, as in the monocle waring Shan?” Jay asked 

“yes! that one!” 

“Cool, Cool... wanna climb on board?” Kai asked him.

“Would I!” The boy, Shannon’s brother made is way up on the Bounty.

“By the way, what you name” Zane asked as the brunet dorded.

“Shane, Shane Maywather and might I say it’s a pleasure to meet the guys my sister has been staying with after all this time.” He, Shane replied.

____

“wait, so let me get this straight” Cole stood with his hands on his head, clearly confused by what was said. 

Its been about an hour since Shane was let on borde and the guy could see why his sister liked it here so much.  

“there are 10 of you? including Shane makes 11″ Cole sated. Shane just nodded as he let the earth ninja racape what Shane had told them. Wu and Garmadon where in the kitchen intently listening to the conversation they were having.  

“yup, Shan and I are the oldest, there where are the quads; Jason, Mayson, Tyson, Carson.” He started again listing his younger siblings.

“Then the triplets; Asher, Carter and Xavier. Then the last set of twins; Franklyn and Merlyn” Shane finished. 

“No wonder Shannon can deal with us so well” Jay said looking astonished.

“ya she had to deal with 9 younger brothers and one older one” Kai remarked. Shane snickered before correcting him.

“Shannon is the oldest, in fact despite us being twins, she’s technically a year older than me.” 

“But isn't being twins, like two people being born on the same day?” Zane inquired.

“True, but you see, my mom had Shannon on december 31st 1995, at around 11:55pm, I then happened on january 1st 1996 at 00:02am in the morning” Shane explained.

“dude” Jay commented. Shane laghed.

“yup,Shannons the ‘big sister’ of the house” He said glancing about.  

“i'm surprised though, i though Shannon would have at least mentioned something about you guys to us” Lloyd pipped in. He enjoyed Shannons company she made him feel welcome. And when she caught him setting up the prank for Kai as his uncle had asked him to, she gave him some pointers on how to eviscerate Kai’s high score. Even took some pressure off him as she stayed in the room in anticipation for the fire ninja so they wouldn't get too suspicious. To learn Shan had several younger brothers, like Jay commented, meade scene in how she was not only dealt with them but was able to deal with his father so well.

“Honestly,it's do be expected. Because Shannons the oldest our parents are hard on her... We come from a fairly well of family to the point where money is more or less a play thing to our folks” Shane started, the ninja(pluss Loyd)went wide eyed.

“so you're saying you guys are rich?” Jay asked dumbfounded. Shane fidgeted with his fingers.

“Y-Ya pretty much. But Shannon, and our parents, they... They don't get along at all. For all i can remember, the only time i've ever had with Shan was when she wasn't in any of her classes or extracurriculars. They pushed her to be perfect, and at the same time pushed her away. Looking back there where countless arguments over a lot of what they where doing” Shane said looking down at his lap. 

“There was this one argument that just hit the nail in the head though, a couple years back, it was during dinner and our parents had invited a business associates family over. They had a son, about three years older then Shannon and I. Our parents had announced that he would be Shannons fiance and thighs went downhill fast” Looking up once more Shane let a had run though his hair as he relieved the memory. The guys were taken aback by this, seeing as how Shan was arguably one of the most level headed people they knew. 

“sounds stressful” Kai quipped not really knowing how to respond to that, bur as a brother to a sister himself he could understand the feeling of not wanting your sibling to do be forced into doing something they don't want to. 

“You don’t half of it” Shan said with a sigh. 

“After that, she stormed out never to be seen scene again. At least physically, she managed to keep contact with me, we talk but not as much as either of us would like...” He finished leaning back and letting the surprisingly soft couch engulf him. 

“I’m glad though,she deserves a break after everything” Shane commented.

“ya well if you call fighting an army of skeletons, snakes and eventually Garmadon a brake, then you my friend are in need of a vacation as well” Jay replied plopping down next to Shane with a dorky grin. The tenshin that had been building in Shane dissipated, yup he could really see why his sister liked it here so much. 

____

Dropping the topic of who much his and Shannon's parents where that talked about other random things. It was a little bit later when the girl got back.  The two where catting about, something girl related when they walked into the main room of the Bounty. 

“Hey! Welcome back! And guess how came to visit?!” Jay sang, gesturing to Shane who was seated next to him. Shannon looked over at her bother in shock she thought-

"Good to see you again Sister!~" Shane said as be bolted form where he was sitting to envelope Shannon in a hug. As he did Shannon dropped the bags she was holding, seemingly shocked that her blood brother was here. 

“Shane?” She breathed, then hugged him back, leaning into it. 

After a bit the two separated.

“It’s good to see you again Shane! How have you been?” “Good, good, what about you? what happened to your eye? Where is it?” 

Shan laughed a little and shook her head.

“There was an accident this morning, Garmadon hit the back of my head and it just popped out” Shane stood still. Taking in the information. Once complete he turned and tried to lunged to where Garmadon was, if it wasn't for Shannon having grabbed him in that split second. He probably would have gone into a full on fist fight with the dark lord. 

“Lemme go! I'm going to eviscerate him!” Shane hissed struggling against his sisters grip. Thank the First Spinjitzu Master that Shannon trained with the boys ocashinaly. 

“Calm down little brother it was an accident” “Like HELL”  

The two go back and forth a little more till Shane camls down. Garmadon rightfully spooked at the fact that this, well mannered, e-boy looking, kid was threatened to ‘eviscerate’ him. 

“Fine, I won’t attack him, doesn't mean I won’t like it” Shane said mutting that last bit. 

“Seriously (1)Balach Milis, if you applied this anger properly, you wouldn't have to deal with what Eric and Lizzibeth right?” Shannon said as she let him go. picking up the grocery bags, and placed them on the counter. 

“(2)Flùr Gaoithe, you know when it comes to Mama and (3)Athair I can’t do do that!” He complained like a small child. 

“You really need to grow a backbone” Shane said shaking her head.

___ 

Things had settled down since then.  

“It’s getting late, I should get going, I have band practice tomorrow and need the rest.” “boo, skip and just stay here for the week” “Flùr Gaoithe” “Balach Milis“ 

With that The younger twin got up, gave his sister the new glass eye she had asked for, said his goodbyes, shot Garmadon one last glar, and left. 

“Your brother seems like a nice person” Gramadon said looking over the the greet tipped girl. 

“Ya, he’s awesome. Wish he was less of a pushover tho” 

Jay feeling thirsty, walked over into the kitchen. He spotted the black glass cup, completely having forgot about the eye inside it. Now you can't really see anything at the bottom. And Jay, in his infinite wisdom, thinking it was just some random cup of random water that had been left on the kitchen counter, and drank from it. 

“OH GOD” 

 “Did Jay drink from the eye glass?” Lloyd asked his uncle who was watching from the blue ninja form the table.

“He drank from the eye glass” Wu confirmed. The others erupted into a fit of laughter and giggles. 

__________

 (1)Balach Milis - Sweet boy  

(2)Flùr Gaoithe - Wind flower 

(3)Athair - dad

this was translated using google translate, the language being Scottish Gaelic. I know Ninjago was based off of asian culture. But like I said, Shan it scottish for unfortunate and unfair. Also nothing in the lore of the show explicitly states that Ninjago is the only continent on the planet. 

I HC that there are different parts of the world. its safe to say Ninjago is the main land where a lot of the exciting things happen, but across who knows how long away there are different countries. And Shannon’s family like immigrated to Ninjago, during it’s early years where big contributors and financial support, in building the city. 

but ye this is a mini sode, i came up with. criticism is always welcome! I will be doing bullet notes for Shan and Melody, and maye Gold to since i have an active fic about her that i haven't updated in, forever but yaaaaa. 

till next text post i guess lol