#why did my thoughts take 2 minues to articulate

[etchedstars]

=time is so fucking weird

[hislittleraincloud]

...I keep forgetting that I operate in dark mode, and that my posts look like shit because I never bothered to fix the HTML on this blog.

This isn't how that looks for me. This is what it's supposed to look like

I'm not gonna ask how to fix it because I know how to fix it (I've had a Tumblr since 2011), I'm just super lazy and old and didn't feel like fixing it before when I made this thing. But I fell asleep (AGAIN 😭) last night before I could drag the laptop out and do something about it (since it's now linked on IG, I need to) and to place existing scenes for 8.

Meh, I need a shower. And to take my pain meds since the thing I fell asleep with (arm pain) hasn't subsided. I have no explanation for it, but sometimes I feel like my arm bones are on fire. Doctor knows, doesn't care enough to send a Poor off to testing (I get state funded care, YAY 😐... it's not as great as y'all super lefties want to make it sound). I've suffered from physical pain my whole life.

My first real/full sentence as a child was "My knee hurts." I remember because I was tiny and they were trying to get me to walk, and I never cried or talked much as a kid ('shy' is what I was labeled) because I was too frustrated with being unable to articulate what was on my mind...but once I figured out how, I articulated all sorts of weird shit that freaked my parents out, like when I was around 3½ I just suddenly said to my father (after watching Sesame Street) that "If 1 plus 1 is 2, then 1 minus 2 is minus 1." I remember the look on my father's face and he asked me to explain. I tried writing it out, but yanno, I was 3, and I hated what my numbers looked like (I did try my best...watching SS did help a lot with that) but the most I felt I could do at that point was draw, so I drew circle blobs to explain it. I hate math with a burning passion, but I guess I was thinking about it because Sesame Street encouraged that kind of thought (I don't think it does anymore, and most all of the kids shows now suck).

I remember a lot. Photographic memory for a lot of it. (Which is the true condition of Jonathan Miller and Cairo Sweet. Bartlett is an idiot and used 'eidetic', but that's a falsehood that 'eidetic' and photographic memory are the same. They're not...which goes to show how much of a dumbass a graduate from Brown can be. But I continue to use eidetic in the UVCniverse because it's canon...no other reason.) The extent of it isn't all that great, but the scenarios/happenings in my head are vivid; but this body pain memory is super vivid, right down to me feeling like I'm experiencing it all over again. It's something I can never forget, no matter what I do to distract myself (and I've never been a really positive thinker). Pain management is a big part of why I'm such a big fucking stoner, and sometimes the reason why I fall asleep (escaping the pain).

I'll stop whining now...but to reiterate what's in the caps, there's no way I can get anything Afterburnish published in nine days. Maybe, maybe I can get 'In Three Bites' done, but no guarantees on that bc I'm tryna ignore it to work on 8. It's a little hard to ignore when it's so much more playful and light than Afterburn, and I need a little bit of that right now.

Begone, foul temptress! ...Meh, okay, you can stay. 🫠

[vanzhuo]

do you have any tips on how to start a writeblr, specifically how to meet more people and make some cool mutuals? :D i wanna start a writeblr but i don’t know anyone from the community and i feel like it’s not as fun without friends :(

ok so hey, first of all, i’m not good at articulating my thoughts well but here it goes -- there isn’t any one way to start a writeblr. when i’d started mine, i lounged around idly for a couple of months reblogging things from other writeblrs. when i finally mustered up wits to post an intro, some writeblrs reblogged and boosted it so that’s how many people found my blog. but like, at the beginning, i was clueless enough (don’t you dare laugh) to ask @semblanche what a taglist was because i was confused about why everyone was asking to be on it. so yeah. i’m gonna jot down a couple of things you should do if you want to like join the community under the cut since this is getting too long and you should all be saved from making the same mistakes i made at the start. and of course, some tips on networking around the community and finding new mutuals!

1. make an intro post. so the one thing i’ve learnt after changing blogs twice is, make an intro post you are satisfied with. it can be simple one, a text post where you use the header option to announce your writeblr (ex. if i were to make an intro, i’d say kalki’s writeblr) and then i’d put in my name, the kind of stuff i like to read, the kind of stuff i like to write and the wips i am writing. point is, it should be something you like, something that tells something about you. like the first time i did this, my intro said: this girl doesn’t know what she’s doing. the second time: she’s being too pretentious, move on people. so on and so forth. some people prefer using fancy images (i am some people) to introduce their blogs with an image post instead, but you’re fine with or without. one thing you should keep in mind is to like tag a few of your favorite blogs. i didn’t do this the first time round because i wasn’t sure what exactly i was doing but you should all know that if you tag your favorite blogs, then those blogs will (mostly, sometimes mentions mess up like it does with me and tumblr doesn’t notify you about being tagged) definitely reblog and boost it. that way, a lot of people will, if not engage with you, then at least know of your existence. here’s my intro post for this blog, if you want. it’s not very, um, formal because i was sleepy and thought it was funny. 

2. don’t be discouraged by the amount of notes on your intro. listen, i know we’d all feel bad if we had like 7 likes and 2 reblogs alright but don’t be discouraged. i mean now that i go back, my intro post has only about 36 notes. it really just depends on the timing. however, when you start posting content, those 10 people who’ve interacted with your post will like it and will reblog it for everyone to see and when people start seeing your content, they get interested and slowly, you’ll have more people to interact with and more people will discover your content and i think what i’m trying to say is that, the note count does matter but don’t be discouraged if it isn’t enough. it’ll take time but you’ll find a solid footing really soon, writeblr’s a really warm engaging place minus the anon hate people get sometimes. (see: @inheriting. all queen elle did was breathe, guys.) 

3. interact with other people and their content. so yes. it’s not a one side deal. if you want people to find your blog, you’ll have to start looking for more content too. when you see something good, reblog it or comment on it or even send an ask telling them it’s god tier content. that stuff makes up half the amount of serotonin in our brains. seriously. there’s nothing writers like more than people reblogging their posts with incoherent screaming or coming into their asks to tell them something they think is funny. you could even post something like: hey, i’m a new writeblr and i’m looking for content like (enter the genres or tropes you prefer) and if you have wips similar to this, then pls reblog this with their tags. i wanna start engaging more. something like that. yeah.

4. message other writeblrs? ok so this is a thing that i would not recommend doing ONLY because sometimes everything gets lost in my notifs and i don’t see messages for days and i know other writeblrs probably face this too. tumblr automatically reads them and doesn’t lmk and stuff like that. and secondly, most of us don’t really, like, answer dms all the time. sometimes i got something important to say so i’ll go to minnie @medusaswrites or to chel @starshots and scream about it and then when the topic of conversation closes, and it gets awkward (i do this so many times you don’t even know) we go back to ghosting private messages and instead blasting each other’s ask boxes with love. that’s just how this stuff works. but there are plenty of writeblrs who aren’t awkward with private messaging and they will LOVE to talk to you so there’s also that. honestly, i don’t know where i’m going with this so i’ll stop now. 

5. graphics and other things. ok so the main part, and the most important part, about a writeblr blog is the writing. so you’re a good writer, you’re a great writer. that’s not all though. sometimes you need to organize your blog. you use coded tags like tags for a particular character (say, my character tag for katya is oc: katya) and tags for a particular wip and inspo tags, resources tags, aesthetic tags, etc. this helps you organize your blog better. and finally, look, i know most people can’t do photoshop, either because it’s too expensive or too complicated and i get it. photoshop isn’t required honestly, there are tons of other things you can use. what mostly attracts attention is how attractive a blog can be. the layout for your blog for one. the picspam for your wip intro. that sort of thing. they are a couple of apps on phone that are free to use like picsart and canva (it’s on web too and honestly, the one thing you should use. it’s not like photoshop but it does the job and it does the job really well. if you want to ask someone about canva, you should go to raye @vigilantscar. she isn’t a writeblr but she’s good in that department.) also, if you’ve got something to ask about layouts or simple intro post demos and arrangement or the kind of pictures you should choose for them then slide into my dms, i’ll be happy to help.

i think that’s all? like true, writeblr isn’t fun without friends but this community is so nice and open that anyone can join anytime and you’d feel welcome. i also feel like i’ve not been able to get a few points across without sounding ignorant/awkward? or like i might have forgotten a few things? but honestly, i just woke up. also, i’m gonna tag a few blogs here that you should check out for good content in no particular order: @starshots @medusaswrites @carumens @vandorens @liarede @aelenko @inesnenci @kiesinger @medeaes @noloumna @emdrabbles and @inheriting. there are tons of other writeblrs with good content that i’m pretty sure i, with the memory of a goldfish, forgot to mention but. yeah. if you ever get round to posting an intro, tag me! i’ll be happy to interact! 

[thekidultlife]

The Most Convenient Escape | Jihoon Soulmate!AU (4)

⍟ Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader

⍟ AU: Fantasy/ Soulmate AU

⍟ Genre: ANGST, SLOW BURN, fluff

⍟ Warnings: ANGST. family trauma, slight self harming, mentions of drinking (this chapter is heavy. Please read at your own discretion!!!!)

⍟ Word Count: 4.1k

⍟ Synopsis: For all your life, you have a deep disdain towards Soulmate Bonds, so much so that you are able to write opinions about it in a local newspaper. However, as life would have it, you wake up one day bonded to a person you hardly knew. Throwing in an investigation, annoying roommates, and a revolution looming just beneath the surface, you had to seek for the most convenient escape.

⍟ A/N: I need to really double my warnings because some content written in this chapter might be triggering to some people. It’s a heavy chapter but I need to show why Y/N hates the Soulmate Bond so much. So please read it ONLY when you are 100% SURE that it’s okay for you to.

I also want to thank @oprandomfeels and @zuvaati for leaving those comments on the tags and everyone who reblogged and commented on this series because it really kept me going writing this chapter! You guys remind me that there are people out there who are looking forward for more of this series. I was in a huge slump recently that it’s been difficult for me to write anything at all, even though how much I actually enjoy writing this before. So I’m really really thankful for everyone!! I’m so glad a few of you liked this one! Alright, that’s all! Here’s chapter 4!

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 |  CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

“And then what happened?”

It was, as always, a glorious day. The weather was warm despite the season, the breeze was cool to the skin and the perpetually blooming wisteria trees gave purple shade to anyone who would sit underneath. 

With an intense headache that could only be remedied by a hangover potion you have discretely snatched from your father’s wares, you were once again seated next to two of your very best friends, who were more or less intrigued by what had transpired last night.

“Like I told you! Nothing happened!” 

You exclaimed, now grumbling because it had shot another pang of dull pain to your temples. 

“What do you mean nothing happened? He brought you to your room, plus you were drunk! Don’t tell me you didn’t at least kiss him?” Soonyoung objected, quite concerned about your unintentional celibacy. 

“And why on earth would I kiss him?” You shouted back, scratching your head. “Just because he took me to my room, something is bound to happen?”

“The situation couldn’t be anymore suggestive than that, you know?” Wonwoo quietly added, twirling a pen on his fingers. “You can’t blame us for expecting something.”

Groaning at this, you took another dose of the disgusting potion on your hands. It tasted like fish left for days out in the open, and weirdly, of cinnamon. While you were trying to quell your headache, another comes in.

“Could we just put a stop to this?” You asked as you pinched the bridge of your nose. “I don’t know why you both are so curious about my night, but don’t we have more pressing matters to attend to?”

On your words, both Soonyoung and Wonwoo turned their gazes to somewhere else; anything else other than you. 

“Oh Wonwoo, don’t you think the weather is so nice today?”

“This tea sure is delicious. Where did you buy this, Soonyoung?”

You could feel a vein in your head tick in irritation. 

“Surely, you both don’t mean that my sacrifice to attend that stupid ball, to spend a night with Lee Jihoon...all of it,” you began as the two of them gulped at the dangerous intent you were emitting. “Was it all completely useless?!” 

Hurriedly, Wonwoo held a hand at you. “Alright, alright! Calm down! Let me explain.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him; your arms crossed. “Do, pray tell.”

“Look,” Wonwoo sighed as he glanced at Soonyoung who was being a bit sulky. “The meeting was cancelled. Someone had probably tipped them off, we don’t know. It was a good idea that we didn’t go inside the room, or else they would’ve known we’re on to them.” 

Your scrutinizing gaze suddenly transformed into something tinged with concern. Sighing, you exchanged looks with them. 

“Are you sure no one that night has realized who you two are?”

Wonwoo nodded gravely. Soonyoung followed suit. “Absolutely.”

“That’s good, but we should be more careful from now on. We don’t know who to trust and anyone could put the two of you in difficult situations,” you warned in a hushed voice. “You could’ve walked out of the Crystal Palace as criminals framed for sex trafficking.”

Soonyoung suddenly realized the gravity of their actions and frowned. Wonwoo was no different, but a lot calmer than his friend. 

“We’ll proceed with caution from here on out. Yet there is absolutely no way I will walk out from this investigation,” Wonwoo declared, his eyes determined. 

“I second. We will get to the bottom of this,” the other male added, glancing at you and Wonwoo.

You nodded at them and smiled softly, understanding their convictions. “We're in this together.” 

There was no way of knowing what the next few months would look like for the three of you and your small publication, yet you have to push on; you have to gamble your own safety for the truth. It was frightening of course, but the fear was not enough to quench the fire within you. 

“But the matter still stands,” Wonwoo interrupted your thoughts, taking a sip of his tea. “You really should have kissed Lee Jihoon.”

◇

The man in question pushed through the French doors leading to an expansive rose garden.

The cultured autumn roses were in full bloom in late September as its scent wafts through the air, creating a romantic feel throughout the area. Devoid of any tall trees, one could easily see the breadth of the garden as it extends to the forest of oak at the far end of the estate. The beauty of the garden was stupendous yet not surprising as the owner of such place was a high-ranking noble of ancient pedigree. A blue grey pavilion lay at the center where Lee Jihoon easily spotted the people he was about to meet.

Fresh from a hearing, Jihoon still had his uniform on, just minus the heavy robes he was required to wear in Parliament. Every third week of the month or so, a meeting is usually scheduled between his longtime friends. Just to check up on each other of course, or often times, something more. 

Marching towards the pavilion in undeterred steps, Jihoon was greeted by a warm call and the scent of brewed coffee. 

“Aren’t you running a bit late, Jihoon?” An older male asked, his military uniform easily indicating that he was a five-star general, and someone no one wanted to mess with. 

“I apologize, Seungcheol. The hearing went on more than I thought it would,” he replied, finally taking a seat on one plush cherry wood arm chair with an exhausted huff. 

“Coffee or tea?” Another asked, his lips curving into a small smile as he offered Jihoon the refreshments on the table. 

“Coffee, please. And make it black. I need something to liven my spirits up,” he replied as the other poured him one on a dainty cup commonly intended for tea. 

The man named Seungcheol simply chuckled at his friend. “Oh? Is something the matter? You look like you haven’t had a good day lately. Don’t you think so, Joshua?”

“He certainly needs coffee, in my opinion.” 

“Oh, don’t you know it,” Jihoon dismissed as he slumped on the chair, covering his tired eyes with an arm. 

“I suppose the recently discovered Cilvekan agents aren’t making anything easier,” the man named Joshua added as he placed the cup of coffee in front of Jihoon who had eagerly sipped on it at once. 

“It is making things a lot worse. It’s the reason why the hearing for today had become so long-winded,” Jihoon sighed, placing down the cup. “There are some who just can’t decide what to do with them.” 

“To be perfectly honest, it would’ve been more useful if they were interned to the military intelligence department. We could’ve used them to double cross,” Seungcheol added, leaning back against his chair. “Now that they have been publicized and a hearing is in full swing, they’re practically useless.” 

Joshua simply tutted at Seungcheol, knowing full well that he was part of the military and thus biased on his views. 

“Nonetheless, it is best advised that we steer clear from such strategies. Espionage during times of relative peace is questionable in varying degrees. It could lead us to a war we never wanted. Notwithstanding the fact that it is me who would have to clean this up if something happens,” he took a sip from his coffee cup. “I reckon we double, even triple our counterintelligence measures against agents here in Porta Persa. We clearly have no idea who we are to trust these days.”

Jihoon listened to Joshua’s suggestion, understanding what the Minister of Foreign Affairs meant. 

“I’m still undecided on my opinion but I’m leaning on Joshua on this matter. A war with Cilveka is totally uncalled for when there’s one looming just underneath our fingertips,” Jihoon remarked, crossing his arms with a serious expression on his delicate features. 

Seungcheol took a sip from his cup gravely. “I suppose it is inevitable of a future. Considering that we ourselves are partially responsible for not taking action.”

Jihoon and Joshua glanced at Seungcheol with grim look. They knew. 

“As Jeonghan isn't here, I might as well ask if you're to release more material for him to use, Jihoon,” Joshua remarked suddenly as the other simply heaved a sigh, brushing his dark hair with his fingers.

Jihoon once again sighed, another burden heavy on his shoulders. 

"I don't think I can do it any longer," Jihoon said. "The deeper my bond with her gets, the more I'm convinced that the songs I write is all propaganda. It weighs on me."

The two men furrowed their brows at him, wondering what he was talking about.

"Her?"

"Propaganda?"

"You know," Jihoon replied, doing gestures with his hands since he found it difficult to articulate what he was trying to say. 

For a while, Seungcheol and Joshua simply glanced at Jihoon with bewilderment. He wasn't exactly making sense with how he was just making shapes with his hands. That is until the general remembered their past conversation from last month. 

“Ah, this is about your soulmate, isn’t it?”

“Did something happen between the two of you?” Joshua asked with curious eyes. 

"No, I just…" he groaned again, "How do I say this? It's all… it's all so confusing! She's confusing me!" 

"Why is that? Isn't a soulmate bond supposed to prevent confusion between parties?" Joshua asked. 

"You do know our bond is different…" Jihoon remarked, and taking note of his friends' expressions, he took it upon himself to explain. "Like I told you before, she hates our bond, she hates our connection. She tried to with tamper it so I couldn't get through, but that simply made the bond unstable. Now, whether she likes it or not, her thoughts are constantly on my mind like a thick fog of ideas. It's virtually impossible not to be influenced by them."

“Have some more coffee, Jihoon. You need it,” Joshua offered as he poured into Jihoon’s cup. 

“Thank you,” the other casually took it, and continued. "Her thoughts become mine. Her passions make me doubt my own actions which I never had to before. It's…she's changing me, and I don't know if I like it or not."

The two men were quiet, Seungcheol more so because of his own soulmate bond. 

“Honestly, I’m so confused,” Jihoon confessed. “I don’t know what to do. I can't even tell her any of this.”

"Yours is a special case Jihoon," the general began as he thumbed on the ring on his left hand. "I won't pretend I understand everything about what you're going through, but all I can say is that these soulmate bonds are meant to change you. You can't be mere individuals anymore, living different lives on this earth. You have been bonded by magic and by the Universe; both your minds and hearts have become one single unit. If she has influenced you, it would be the same for her. If you are confused, she is too. And that's natural because both of you are transforming into beings that will eventually live your lives together and form a healthy family." 

"I don't know Seungcheol. I want my freedom in my thoughts and in my actions. Everything I've known is turned upside down and it's making me uncomfortable." 

"She must be feeling the same way too. Didn't you say she hated the bond itself? She must have hated how someone else's thoughts are entering her mind as much as you do," Joshua interrupted, his voice calming and sweet on Jihoon's nerves. "Look, Jihoon. You're a strong person. You're someone who's intelligent, hardworking and efficient in everything you do. You can do everything by yourself. But that is also your greatest weakness. You're too comfortable on your own. You're afraid to let anyone else in because it could ruin the balance you've maintained in your life. I admit that soulmate bonds are frightening in its own way, but it's there in order for us to grow."

"But I've got you, my friends and my family to share my burdens. Isn't that what I'm doing right now?" He asked, now a bit frustrated.

"But you hold us at a distance. You've never been able to truly share that side of yours that is raw and vulnerable. You know you can't stay like this forever," Seungcheol continued, parrying Jihoon's argument. 

Jihoon sat himself straight in a huff, unable to reply because he knew Seungcheol had hit the target directly. He is afraid, yet he refuses to admit it. He thought that having a bond would make things easier for him, but everything proved to be much more than he can swallow. 

For a moment, Jihoon sat there in silence as he took a sip of lukewarm coffee from his cup, yet his feelings of tension refuse to calm down, the hairs on his back standing in aggression. It was unusual since he was no longer conversing with Seungcheol and Joshua, and tried to dive deeper into the feeling.

In an instant, he knew it wasn't his. 

A pang of pain flashed inside his chest, making him clutch on it with a tight grip. The cup he was holding fell to the ground into pieces, as Seungcheol immediately raced to his side. 

"Jihoon! Is something wrong?" He exclaimed, watching the other groan in pain and then turned to Joshua. "We have to take him to hospital!" 

"I'll prepare the carriage!" 

"No!" Jihoon suddenly shouted, his breaths turning shallow. "No…no….I need to go back to the dorm. I need to find her." 

◇

Exhausting your supply of hangover potions, you went back to your house in town to steal from your father's wares. You never really had a problem with brewing potions, proving that you had an affinity to the craft which could've been passed down to you from your father but come heaven and hell, you will never admit that. 

With a small wooden box attached with a leather strap that hangs from your shoulders, you sneaked into the empty house and to your father's now closed shop. Much to your surprise though, the lights were on and heavy crates tower beside the ingredients cabinet. 

"Oh, you're here."

A familiar voice greeted you from the office, making you turn around swiftly. 

"Father…" you replied, your face marred with sharp eyes and a deep frown. 

"Are you staying at the Royal Academy now?" He asked, stepping out from the shadows and into the light pouring from the glass windows of the shop. He was much tanner and thinner, a clue that he has been to the tropics for some time. 

"Yes. I'll be taking some potions and some stuff with me. I'll be gone as soon as I can," you told him with a cold voice as you filled your box haphazardly with numerous ingredients in a way that they almost slipped out of the container. 

“How is Soonyoung and Wonwoo?”

You curtly replied. “They’re good. Still the same.”

“Are you eating well? Are the dorms good enough for you?”

“They’re fine. I’m living comfortably.”

“Have you met any new friends?”

“I’ve met a few people.”

“Who are they and where are they from?”

You huffed, annoyed and impatient that this conversation was still ongoing. “I can send you a list later if that makes you happy.”

“Don’t join those sororities or fraternities, do you understand? They’re dens of insurgents.”

You chose not to reply, his subjects gradually turning sour in your opinion. Talking to him always felt like talking to a machine.  

If there was any way much faster than the rate you're going right now, you would've done it. You wanted to leave as soon as possible with just a few words and greetings exchanged. Heart thumping with adrenaline, you were fueled by the darkness inside of you, yet you kept it concealed before things could get ugly. 

"I heard from Mr. Kwon that you're still running around with that little tabloid of yours," your father began and you knew instantly where it would lead to, "You better stop this childish play and find something meaningful thing to do." 

If there was anything stopping you before, it was long gone now. 

"It's not childish play!" You screamed, ignoring the fact that Alizarin berries had scattered on the floor. "You don't understand how much this means to me! You never even tried to understand me! So don't try and pretend you know what's good for me when you don't know who I am!"

Your blood was pumping wildly in your veins, your fists tightly clenched. Anger that has long been restrained now broken free and flowing rapidly in your blood. But you knew this was exhausting, so you tried to slip away as fast as you could.

"Have you forgotten how much I sacrificed for you, you ungrateful child? How much I worked so hard so you would be able to live comfortably?" He retorted back, watching your once retreating figure stop from reaching out for the door.

"I never wanted any of those! I never begged you for luxuries! We could be hungry and homeless right now, I don't care! I know we could crawl out of that eventually!" You shouted, your shaking back was the only thing he could see, until you turned to him, your cheeks wet with tears. "I only want one thing, Dad! Just one thing! I wanted you to stay with me… For you to show me that I still had a father even after mom died. Yet you couldn't give it to me." 

"No, you listen to me. I had to leave for you to have food to eat! I had to work hard for you! Don't you know how much I love you? How much I did for you? I don't think you understand that because you keep on running around with that silly paper pretending you know everything about the world."

It was always like this. You already knew. Arguing with someone like him, you felt, was like talking to a wall. He was in a different page and refuses to see your own. The real child here, you begin to question who it really was. 

Yet you kept going, the fury in you refusing to subside.

"Do you ever listen to anything I say?Yes! Just neglect your own daughter and give her all the money in the world and expect her to be grateful! Yes! That's what a good parent is! If mother was still alive, she would've loved me more than all the food you could ever give me! You would never know how much strength I needed to have when you left me here all alone!" 

Your jaw was rigid with sorrow rage, teeth gritting. Yet, much to your surprise, all he did was laugh at you mockingly. 

"Isn't that great? You being so strong after all!" 

It hurt you, more than anything. The look on your father's face, the dismissal, the invalidation of all your emotional needs, your need for his love and compassion, you never thought a parent was capable of doing that to a child. 

More tears stream down your face as you were shaken into silence. The pain in your chest unbearable, your breath turning into laboured heaves. It had hurt. It hurts so much. It wasn't really the words themselves, but the intention to mock, to belittle; that was the one that struck you to your core. 

"I hate you…" you muttered in a low voice, shaking and begging to be understood. "I hate you so much! I needed your love back then! I needed unconditional love! Yet where were you? Where were you, huh? Soonyoung and Wonwoo are much my brothers more than you are my father! They were there for me come hell and high water!" 

You took a breath and continued, your voice rising.

"But it's too late now. You can no longer take back the words you've said. No matter how much you tell me you love me, I would never believe you! You never loved me! Or mom! Or anyone! You only loved yourself and your money!"

Turning around you reached for the door, not even listening to his outraged tantrums behind you. Your own anger too loud in your ears.

"Since you care about gratitude so much," your voice was still hoarse yet resolute, as you were halfway out of the door. "I'll give you two carriages full of gold within five years from the profits we gained from that silly newspaper. That's for everything you bought and did for me since I was born. Think of it as severance pay. You lost me. Goodbye."

Leaving those scathing words behind, you ran as fast as you could. Faster and faster than the wind could ever take you. Your tears were streaming down your face, the wooden box slinging carelessly as it bounced against your hip, yet you continued running down the cobbled road to a destination no one really knows. 

All you could hear was your heartbeat slamming against your chest, the muffled cries you attempt to quiet down, the sound of your heel clicking on stone. Running away felt liberating as the wind slapped harshly on your cheeks. Yet your heart was in so much pain that you forget everything else. 

Reaching the Royal Academy dorms, you forcibly opened the door to your shared room as you immediately raced towards your own room; afraid to encounter someone you didn't really want to see. 

Yet of course, he was there. Lee Jihoon was there. 

Waiting at the common living room, he rose at your presence, his expression tinged with great worry at your state of ruin. He ran up to you, trying to make you stop moving away. 

"Y/N! What's the matter? Why are you crying?" 

His question however were brought to deaf ears as you pushed him away, shaking your head at his close proximity. You didn't want to see him. His presence simply amplified the pain you were feeling.

"Leave me be, Jihoon!" You screamed, pushing him further from your doorway. "I don't want to see you! You're the last person I want to be comforted by!"

You slammed the door, the desolate sound reverberating across the expansive room as you sat there on the floor, still crying. 

You were tired, exhausted. Legs that were trembling with fatigue, lungs that were almost bursting at the seams. Your heart was aching with so much pain and heaviness. 

I will no longer believe in anything. Love is temporary. Love will eventually fade away.  Soulmate bonds are stupid and fake. It's stupid. Stupid. Stupid. This is stupid.

You choke out a cry. 

Gathering all the strength left in your body, you crawled to your bedside and pulled out a huge and heavy trunk from underneath. As you unlocked it with not much gentleness than trying to break it, you were greeted by various bottles of potions. 

If soulmate bonds could really bring happiness, then why is it that I'm in so much pain? Why did mom die then?

Eyes spying on the clear glass bottles, it didn't take much time for you to decided what to do. 

If this is what love is, then I don't need it. If I'm just going to suffer, then I don't want it. I'm fine on my own. I don't need stupid soulmates to make me happy.

Picking up a familiar bottle, you harshly pulled out the stopper and swallowed everything in one gulp. Instantly, you felt the effects moving under your skin, making you shiver, yet it didn't matter, the pain in your heart was far more painful than anything you’ve feeling right now. The magic wrapped itself around your wrist, tighter and tighter like a vice suffocating the bond.

From now on, I'm living for myself, by myself. I don't need love from anyone. I won't beg for love from anyone. No one could ever give it to me but myself.

Another set of sobs spilled itself from your lips as you clung tightly on anything you could get your hands on. They continued gushing like an uncontrollable waterfall, as your heart rejects the words your head was conditioning you to feel. You knew you wanted love more than anything, but that would only make you weak. And weakness is the last thing you needed right now. 

I need to erase every last bit.

Pulling the glove which was hiding your bond mark, you gazed at it with extreme disgust on your face. The thick horizontal bars only reminded you of your father's mocking laugh. 

I hate this. I hate this. 

You rubbed on the black lines with your thumb, hoping that it would lighten the color. But of course, it didn't, so you continued to rub it off. Again and again, and again until your thumb was warm and your wrist an inflamed red. 

Disgusting. This disgusting thing! I wish you never came into my life!

In desperation, you scratched it with your sharp nails, teeth clenched. It was ugly. It felt like chains binding you to a future you never believed in. Straight bruises of scratch marks mar your skin, yet it didn't matter to you. The pain was dull and empty compared to the weight on your chest. 

Stupid. Disgusting. Ugly. I hate this bond. I hate this so much!

"I'm so tired…" you muttered to yourself, burying your face on the soft mattress. 

"Why can't I just be happy?"

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 |  CHAP 5 | CHAP 6 |

-Hyeri

[onlineprojectmanagementtraining1]

Authority and Responsibility, How They're Related and How They Affect Project Management

Experienced job managers know they accept liability for your own job once they accept the function of manager. They also realize that the absence of power might seriously impede their capacity to deliver exactly precisely the goals and objectives set for your own undertaking. Responsibility is proportional to impacts. Responsibility for job results does not signify they have positioned on the seat before next job if the person they truly are directing neglects, it's a fiscal outcome. They'll have problems from the job through removal or decrease in bonus, a re assignment to a responsible role (using an attendant decrease in wages ), or even dismissal when it comes to advisers. The text between consequences and responsibility will be entrenched running a business. Larger more pricey projects will be inclined to participate more mature job managers along with the result of failure will likely probably be more tolerable. The text between job outcome and consequences are also increased.

What exactly is without my adventure (20 and years since a programme and job manager) is a correspondence between responsibility and authority. Job managers may do a lot of the job preparation without needing usage of jurisdiction. Job managers may be needing some assistance from subject matter experts for a few of the preparation job, even when it's simply to affirm attempt or cost quotes. Larger, more intricate projects generally own more demand of material experts to this purpose that a number of the task is intended with these experts. The power required to acquire and handle the tools required for this particular job will often have the land. It's as soon as the job reaches on the build or execution period that the job manager needs power. They could organize the task, organize the task, and track performance but minus power they have an extremely limited power to be sure the task is done in time with the essential quality.

The greatest, priciest, many complex projects are directed by project managers that hold senior positions within their associations and bring that degree of ability with their own endeavors. Even the Manhattan project, that presented the Atomic bomb during World War II, can be an fantastic instance of such a job and project director. Leslie Groves, who handled the job, was a three star (lieutenant) General. Even the huge bulk of projects that do not fall in the Manhattan job category concerning size are at which the text between responsibility and authority falls apart.

Most projects now are implemented in a"matrix" environment by which the company utilizes job managers to conduct projects and operational managers to take care of people. The matrix environment can be really actually a great fit for the majority of businesses since they've a mixture of operational and job work. The issue with the matrix environment is that seldom do they include a blue print for your division of jurisdiction between the operational and job manager, meaning the job manager has not one of the jurisdiction and the operational manager has all of it out of the resource's view. Organizations using more older matrix surroundings might possibly have taken several measures to eliminate the conditions this division causes, but do the definitions of both the 2 functions include an exact description of jurisdiction. That is most likely also because of the simple fact the HR group performs a huge part in defining authority throughout their coverages and so they are normally behind the curve at adapting their coverages into the direction of endeavors.

Issues begin with the purchase of this challenge team. Job managers are more prone to the exact identical greed and the remainder of the race and also might really like to get a free reign to obtain the most effective tools the company has to offer you. Functional managers, alternatively, have their own operational responsibilities to think about. They'll soon be paid for the funds that they purport into the undertaking however are not usually incented to create certain that their best and therefore are distributed around the job manager. That is due to their operation is quantified depending on the accomplishment in these operational responsibilities. Should they create their finest resources available into the undertaking they could don't deliver to their operational targets and objectives and which might have a destructive influence on their reimbursement. The best way I've found to balancing functional and job demands is to get operational managers whose only responsibility is that your"care and feeding" of funds. As they don't really possess every different operational responsibilitiesthey have been totally absolutely free to estimate the competing demands of operations and projects and make assignment decisions based on their own understanding of what's best for that company.

Issues encountered with team acquisition will disperse during the remaining portion of the undertaking. Assuming duration and effort estimates were predicated on some amount of performance which is more than a number of the gained team are effective at fulfilling, job performance are affected. Figuring out into the job sponsor which performance problems are increasingly now being brought on by underperforming downline might or might not attract relief. The host is very likely to observe your complaint together with scepticism in the event that you did not raise the issue earlier. A inability to carry out the task isn't the sole reason behind poor functionality. Definitely the most frequent cause of insufficient functionality could be that the corrosion of resource time by the job by functional requirements. The requirements might be quite legitimate and also the operational job required of this resource might be the greatest possible usage of this resource to the benefit of the company. It will not help the job manager while he or she's got to spell out poor job performance to those stakeholders. This example is bad enough as soon as the job manager is given notice of their requirement but is worse once they know about this shift after the actuality. The degree of jurisdiction that the job manager was awarded, or at the functional director's understanding of this jurisdiction, will frequently determine whether or not they discover regarding the operational job before or after the actuality.

The opposing side of this tools coin would be that your benefits and recognition which can be utilized to construct team morale. A scarcity of jurisdiction of this type usually has todo with the job manager's capacity to devote money to offer awards or buy every other sort of teambuilding activity. Recognition and rewards are often regulated by HR policy that's why the job manager isn't provided ability to bestow those on worthy downline. The absence of all sorts of funding to get awards would be that the other rationale.

Last, the manager might be contacted to take care of downline whose thoughts is not from the match. They will have the opportunity, experience, and training to successfully execute the job on the degree of proficiency envisioned from the job plans but do not. There might be many different good reasons for this however they often stem out of the resource's devotion to this undertaking, or lack there of. Let us go through the illustration of this process improvement endeavor to exemplify what I am talking. The good thing about this process improvement is that the removal of attempt that can result in job loss (atleast at that section ). Some of those associates working with this job could possibly be the people whose tasks will be expunged; afterall they truly are the topic matter experts in the older procedure. Might it be rational to expect such folks to demonstrate excitement for your own undertaking? Certainly not. Unless the job manager can demonstrate these downline how the job may reward themat least not harm them they are planning to be much committed to the objectives of the undertaking.

The shortage of excitement might not have a thing related to security; yet you will find some of causes of a lack of commitment from downline: jealousy, and the understanding that their desires are served when your job fails, a devotion to a job they perceive as rival, dissatisfaction a pal isn't delegated to the team are only some of their"political" reasons a crew member might not offer the job their very best attempt. Resolving some one of these problems will necessitate that the job manager have a certain level of jurisdiction within the resource. It will not necessarily indicate that they will have hiring and firing ability, the capability to influence their reimbursement could be adequate.

Now I've made the situation to get a power commensurate with the level of responsibility, let us look at a few manners and method of acquiring this ability. I'll begin with covering the people who host endeavors. You ought to hold your job managers in charge of job results; that is their occupation, however it will not seem sensible to carry them answerable for giving them the power to fit with up with the job's aims and objectives and also power is an integral component of the skill. You might help this by arriving at an understanding with your job manager within the amount of authority you are committing them. Working inside the policies ordered from the HR staff, you ought to delegate them with the ability amount you agree that they require. Do not speak in generalities, make certain. The job manager should be aware of very well what their remedies come from case where they will have performance problems with members. The procedure utilized for deciding the composition of the task group must be clearly articulated. How can disagreements over human funds be resolved? Obviously to accomplish that in a means which is reasonable for the company, you are going to have to reevaluate your job contrary to one different projects and operational work of their company. In case the job targets and objectives are high priority, then the undertaking can not be described as considered a very low priority with regards to competing for scarce resources.

Their amount of jurisdiction over the downline, once the team was defined should be clearly articulated also. How can the job manager cope with a group member whose operation is sub standard because they don't really possess the needed knowledge or experience? How can they handle that the team member with got the essential capabilities and experience however, is not doing for another reason? The job manager's ability has to be ascribed in adequate detail to ensure these questions are replied. Delegating authority to the job manager does not need to contravene some HR policy. As an instance, it might be against policy to permit the job manager to fire or hire funds but by which stakeholders, clients among the others, subscribe to performance reviews be certain that the job manager is still a contributor and be sure their inspection is discretionary in view of the quantity of time the resource goes to the job and the job priority. Alternatively some times endeavors are essential enough and HR policies supporting sufficient to justify changing them. You shouldn't be reluctant to assemble political allies and also create the case for shift into HR. You may possibly become prosperous in effecting the shift to your upcoming huge project even though you're not successful making the shift to your one.

The job area the job manager will require jurisdiction to get is rewards and recognition. The job manager will have the ability to pronounce a rewards and recognition programme to your own undertaking, or how they'll utilize present comprehension and rewards ventures. Be sure they will have enough ability to manage the programme. This will signify that a funding, ordinarily. Workout the way you are going to make the cash available if needed in scenarios where it's not possible to provide the job manager any registering ability. Last, be open to get involved in awards ceremonies or team development tasks. I have not managed almost some other patrons who did not like these occasions after that they were subjected in their mind.

Job managers who've patrons who've did not learn the aforementioned, or even that are uncomfortable taking the initiative on you, need to initiate the dialog themselves. When you have defined the degree of authority that you need in-detail create sure it's recorded. If your jurisdiction isn't in writing anywhere, that you never possess it. People's memories being exactly what they are, that the better understanding that you possess of this power you've got will change in the host's and that gap is only going to expand as time continues by and memories stinks. Bear in mind that the power you are awarded isn't plucked from nothing, it's jurisdiction your host has (or every further senior stake holder ) they assign for your requirements personally.

Your power ought to be recorded from the Project Charter. The degree of detail need be no more compared to the remaining part of the journey; you could leave this to certain tasks or intentions. It ought to really be spelled out from generalities such as"the Project Manager has the authority to participate in the selection of the project team","the Project Manager will evaluate members of the team and these evaluations will be used in performance reviews", or even"the Project Manager has the authority to address performance issues". Specifics could be abandoned before job progresses into the main point at which jurisdiction becomes necessary. As an instance, you'll be able to request a email from the host in progress of team acquisition specifying the way that decisions will be reached on individual associates and the disputes will be managed.

Authority is similar to a muscle: it'll atrophy if it's not properly used and wont be around as it's needed. Your host has given you ability so you may put it to use in order to reach your project's aims and objectives therefore that you ought to not don't reach them as a result of a deficiency of jurisdiction unless you had been denied it. Which usually means that if downline refuse to comprehend your ability to guide their job you must put it to use in order to inflict your will in it. Do not confuse the imposition of one's leadership without misuse. You abuse your power once you use it for purposes aside from the achievement of their job's aims and objectives or any time you show favouritism damaging rewards or consequences. Stay away from abusing your power in any way costs, however maybe perhaps not at the price of neglecting to practice it. To guarantee you stay away from abusing your power it is really a fantastic idea to own your own HR company's policies and policies convenient and ensure you are comfortable with them.

Job managers that commence the dialog concerning jurisdiction is going to have the benefit to be in a position to specify the amount of authority that they believe they require. This may be carried out by copying out your authority in the draft edition of the Project Charter or even in another record that simplifies it. Avoid being faint hearted here. It's much far better to possess jurisdiction you never desire and do not utilize than to neglect to own it and want it. You shouldn't hesitate to practice an authority that you never need because neither you nor the host foresaw a demand for this. Your host is a whole lot more inclined to forgive you exercising with an ability that contributes to the achievement of your job goal when they truly have been supposed to forgive you for a failure to fulfill with up with the aim.

Nearly all of everything I've said here would employ to job managers that are permanent employees of those associations that they handle jobs for, but think about advisers? These people subconsciously end up at"matrix" surroundings as in associations who are projectized or with a older, recognized matrix structure, they don't really connect with the adviser. Consultants have to be particularly meticulous in outlining their degree of power and in deploying it. Their jurisdiction won't ever incorporate the capacity to shoot or to choose and pick tools when acquiring the team. In the majority they are going to have the ability to employ builders and take part in acquisition discussions for employees in order that they will need to guarantee that they will have a fix which may tackle a insoluble problem having a group member. Remember that whenever you arrive at the job that you're an unknown quantity into your stakeholders. They've experienced exposure for you personally as soon as you interviewed to get the job but you are still an unknown quantity. Once you've experienced the job for a little while you need to really have gained a degree of confidence that'll enable you leeway in working jurisdiction but before then do not make assumptions which will enhance your host.

In the end, in the event you are not able to possess your host delegate the ability for your requirements which you want to succeed, then be sure to record that very fact. How would you really do this without even insulting your host? Simple, maybe perhaps not needing the ability required to attain project aims and objectives would be a probability to all those aims and objectives and needs to be recorded from the job's risk register. Do not clarify the risks in personal terms; clarify them with regard to what the threat occasion appears like and the probable effect on the job should they happen. A dialog concerning mitigation plans to cover the risk might possibly cause giving one of that the ability. At minimum they should result in a reduction plan that'll lessen the degree of risk. In case everything else fails and there isn't any awarding of identification or authority of reduction plans, the undertaking must accept the hazard. You still have the choice of estimating this risk and also its own approval whenever the risk register is reviewed with all the stakeholders. A word of warning here: the danger identifies a debate between you and your host; tend not to utilize this as a chance to embarrass your host facing their managers or peers.

[bettsfic]

life update while i wait for my mechanic to call me back

so, i went on a lovely trip to manzanita, los angeles, and galveston, and came home for a week to settle my house stuff before visiting family in missouri, thinking, wrongly of course, it would be a somewhat relaxing week where i could start to get back into the swing of things before the semester starts.

i flew in around midnight, my cousin picked me up from the airport, and i was home at 1ish am, when i basically passed out. i woke up at 1pm (because sleeping 12 hours a night is basically status quo amid summer depression) to about 30 messages all asking if i was okay. i didn’t even wait to see what had happened; i got up and yelled for my grandma and she told me there had been a shooting. i asked her if she’d called my sister and she said no, she didn’t want to bother her, and here i am going absolutely apeshit, because the oregon is a place we all go all the time, it’s the only place to hang out in this city, and my only saving grace is that my cousin, who plays gigs there all the time, was driving me home from the airport when it happened. so i call my sister and she doesn’t answer, then i call my mom, who says she’s fine, and i ask if everyone in our family is accounted for and my mom says she’s been at church and she doesn’t know. nor has my grandma made any calls to make sure my uncle and his wife are okay, or anyone else. “well why would they be in the oregon?” she asked. “I DON’T KNOW, BUT THIS ISN’T A TIME TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS” i said. 

i’m shakily trying to pour myself a cup of coffee and calm tf down when my grandma tells me she’s decided to give flurry away to my mom’s husband’s daughter, my step-sister, i guess, though i’ve decided i’m never going to have any interaction with them again, and i’ll get to that in a minute. i think my grandma thought i would be happy about it? but like, flurry is my dog. everyone knows i want her, but the problem is, my grandma wants her out of the house completely, and i live here. moreover, i have no idea how i would take her to school with me when i move. so i was just. beside myself.

i am very very very grateful no one i knew was in the shooting, but it’s still awful that it happened in the first place, and i can’t even wrap my head around it. any of it. that dayton is international news, that i’m two degrees of separation from the shooter (my cousin works with a friend of his), that any civilian can get ahold of a weapon that can kill 9 people in less than a minute, that dayton cops actually did their job for once, that any other saturday it could have been my sister and i, that for once i’m glad all my friends have moved out of dayton. that newscasters keep pronouncing “oregon” like the state when the “oregon” of the oregon district is “ore-uh-gahn” emphasis on that last syllable for some reason, but it seems pretty tactless to point that out in a time like this so i’m sticking it at the end of a rant.

my mom is getting back with her alcoholic husband. he and his entire family have been utterly destructive in our lives and i can’t even begin to articulate my disdain for this situation. my grandma says we need to be supportive, but i can’t support such a blatantly unhealthy decision. this dude voted for trump. he’s an evangelical christian. and i suspect he only wants her back because he can’t afford the bills alone. i told her that i didn’t like him and didn’t want to be around him. she told me to at least be nice to him, and i said i wouldn’t be, and moreover i refuse to be in the same room as him, which might mean that when i leave for school, i leave for good. i don’t know that i have the guts to do that, but i can’t really think about that right now. 

which leaves the house. i sold it, and am waiting to receive the closing documents. it’s a bad situation. i spent $6k and two months on repairs, and i got a cash offer within the first 12 hours, no inspections, no closing costs, no repairs needed. if i’d known i would have gotten an immediate low-ball cash offer, i could have saved myself so much time and money. i said no to it at first, but then i got a second offer, a little bit higher, but with closing costs included, and my realtor came back and said even if we got an ideal offer, like a family negotiates me down just a couple grand, the likelihood of additional fees and repairs, in addition to however many months’ mortgage and utilities i’d be paying in the interim, far exceeds the return of the initial cash offer. by this point my blood was just boiling, and i was furious with my realtor for not wanting to fight for anything, or negotiate (and it turns out that’s what my dad hated about her too, and one time he yelled at her, and anyway i haven’t yelled but dear god i’m not doing this again), and after two deliriously bad meltdowns i finally took the offer, just to get the fucking thing over with. it’s been a slow, terrible death and i am never, ever buying a house in a city again, without a partner who is as invested in this process as i am. my house which i’ve owned for 7 years is going to a foreign investor so he can rent it out to UD students who will trash the place and it’ll rot like all the other rented houses on my street, and even though i have nearly 30 grand in equity in the fucking thing, i’m walking away with less than a fraction of it. once i get my car repaired and paid off (i only have 3 payments left), it’s basically a wash. 

i’m just. beside myself. i haven’t felt this angry in years. i don’t have the coping skills to handle all of this. the silver linings voice in my head is reminding me i wasn’t in the shooting, i can’t control what my mother does, flurry is not my dog, and the house is finally sold, but also all of these things kind of suck. not to mention that soon i have to start teaching 3 comp sections. i can’t even imagine what the grading load will be like. 4 papers per semester, each with a rough draft, plus completion assignments and conferences, for 70 students, making $3200 per course, minus STRS and parking fees, and no health insurance. 

some good things: i might be able to start my phd in spring instead of next fall (i have to send a few emails), i started a new novel and i’m almost done with the first chapter, my mom took most of her stuff out of my storage unit so i was able to consolidate all my things into 1 instead of 2, the number of people who reached out to see if i was okay was really heartening, i somehow lost weight on vacation and now i’m under 200lbs for the first time in years, i’m not nearly as depressed as i usually am this time of year, and overall i’m not directionless, i’m not penniless, i’m not friendless, i love and am loved, i’m healthy and have food and clean water and a roof over my head. it’s all relative. 

[dontcallmecarrie]

Oh my god, you're writing is out of this world - it's too good! Just stumbled upon you today but I'm hooked. How do you write so well when I can barely write??

1) I’m very glad you like it!

2) there’s like two and a half answers here with varying levels of seriousness here because this turned out to be a bit of a loaded question, oops. 

Oh— I noticed the last line of your ask and my main tip is: don’t be so harsh on yourself, because tbh I’ve just been low-key going ‘wtf you people like this?’ whenever I post something my sleep-deprived brain thought was a good idea at three in the morning [aka why I have a tag for that, which, in retrospect, is also a hint as to why a good chunk of my stuff starts out the way it does]. Mostly, I’m very surprised people like it at all, and I’m still blown away whenever I see someone liking TWiFFON or any of my fics because of that.

aaaand that was a tangent I hadn’t meant to delve into, as I read your ask as more of a ‘what is your writing process’ [and this probably’s going to delve into TMI territory and I am very sorry for that].

Long story short, when it comes to fanfic, I try to write what I want to read. It’s meant to be stress relief, meant to be fun. Because for me, if I’m not enjoying it then what’s the point? 

There’s also the fact that I’m very perfectionistic. Note that this is actually not a good thing, since it means for massive, massive delays in updating because I typically don’t post until I feel like something’s up to snuff [e.g. the almost one-year gap between Chapters 8 and 9 for Blurred Lines, part of why I’m struggling with TWiFFON now]. It’s something I struggle with even now, but the silver lining for it is that my standards mean I’m comfortable with what goes out, and have mostly triple-checked the grammar, etc— well, plus or minus a few typos courtesy of autocorrect and/or posting, anyway. 

The other part of why I sometimes have delays, etc in my WIPs is because of the way I write. Again, since fanfic is stress relief for me, there’s some things I do that reflect that. 

For one, I have a set mindset and goal when I write. TWiFFON’s meant to be lighthearted stress relief mixed with passive-aggressive spite, MoaDW was me trying to lash out [migraines suck, okay? That was a bad day], LTTR’s focus on family dynamics was entirely intentional, etc.

I outline by…well, you can see my outlines. They’re all here, under the tags I have for them. I was in a specific mood when I hammered them out off the cuff, and when I turn them into actual fic it’s mostly me venting while being in that mood. Basically, I take my train of thought, and my internal commentary, and just…let loose.

This is probably the largest component of my writing style. 

Especially since it results in the sometimes-irregular formatting that some have picked up on. My train of thought has me going on quite a few tangents, and…something vaguely along the lines of intrusive thoughts, but not quite. That’s why I use brackets and italics and, on occasion, strikethroughs— that’s the best way I feel I can articulate that same feeling in writing, that ‘oops another random tangent that’s unrelated to the main topic but also narrates a character’s perspective on something’ vibe. That, and I have fun being dramatic, there’s that, too.

Plus the repetition that crops up: that, I picked up from speech patterns of someone I know irl. It didn’t come up often, but when it did, I noticed it sometimes gave his words a poetic vibe, and hopefully it comes across that way in writing. 

…the super-long sentences that sometimes happen can also be attributed to that same person. Well, that, and part of me wants to blame that one semester of German for infecting my thought patterns, but that’s a story for another day.

.

Hopefully this answered your question. If not, I am very, very sorry.

[allspark]

Emitting lethal beams of energy in the Allspark Studios today is cold, brutal and scientific Siege Shockwave!  Will emotional thinking ruin his clarity of thought, or will he give in to the feels and adopt a Littlest Pet Shop puppy for a shelf companion?  Tune after the break to find out!

G1 Shockwave was one of my holiest of grails, alongside Jetfire.  I remember being on the playground in 2nd or 3rd grade when the rich kid in our school pulled out both to show off.  Shockwave mesmerized me due to the powerful look of the laser gun mode, and the fact that this toy resembled the character on the cartoon, unlike Megatron.  I had to have him…but don’t remember actually ever seeing him in a store.   I do remember a weekend trip to Pensacola, Florida that led us by a Radio Shack where I once saw the grey “Shackwave”, who was one of the first G1 figures I bought on eBay back in 2000.  I would not get the real Shockwave until Botcon 2005, and that one sits in his original packaging to this day.  He has been joined by a minty Shockwave I display, as well as numerous iterations, minus one of my current white whales, the Botcon 2012 customization class figure.  All of this to say, I am a bit illogically obsessed with the logical oriented character.

Siege Shockwave appeared to be a dream come true.  Initial pictures showed he had all the best design cues from the original figure, loads of articulation, and a neat set of armor to throw into the mix.  I was so excited that I began to worry if Shockwave would be able to live up to my expectations.  Let’s give the toy and look and see how it measure up!

Spaceship/Gun/Destroyer Mode

The spaceship mode for Shockwave is an upside-down gun.  It’s not going to do any G1 fans pining for a real blaster any good, however, because at the current size, this laser gun would only fit a toddler’s hand.  I imagine this could be one of the figures targeted by the KO industry for an upsize, as the most common complaints I see online are related to the size of the leader class figures.  But I digress…

Resemblance to a weapon aside, spaceship mode fits with quite a few of Shockwave’s legacy forms, such as the most recent Walgreen’s exclusive, Combiner Wars Shockwave, and the FOC Shockwave.  I love the idea of Shockwave becoming a battleship.  In my fanon, he designs full size battleships based on his current alt-mode, because logically he chooses the most powerful forms, and these ships are his personal battalion.  It’s silly, but I love to display his vehicle modes, and it gives me a reason.  😀

While I am not a huge fan of the overloaded surface details of the Siege line, it does look good on Shockwave’s vehicle modes, even if I would have preferred smoother panels.  Other neat details include incorporating the hose from robot mode into the spaceship, as well as a uni-eye at the front of what I imagine is the bridge from the tower.  Another cool piece is the “gun” barrel as the front of the ship.  They could have really gone out of their way to make this appear less like a blaster muzzle, but they didn’t, and I love it.  I can imagine Autobots seeing this battleship and turning their own around, not willing to risk a fight with a flying cannon.

You an take this mode into overkill mode and really make an impressive battleship by incorporating the armor.  Doing so beefs up the front end of the ship, adds more engines, and additional cannons just behind the bow and to the sides of the new engines.  If an Autobot ship were afraid of the regular spaceship mode, this cruiser is frightening enough to make an entire fleet turn tail and run.  This is the best Decepticon battleship yet created, and I must admit I am so enamored with it that I want to have an extra to leave in this mode at all times.  Fortunately, the cold logic of my empty wallet has silenced the impulse…for now.

Robot Mode

Where do I start?  Siege Shockwave is 96% the Shockwave of my dreams.  Why only 96%?  What happened to the other 4%?  Well, I am taking off 4 points due to a few minor issues I have with the toy.  Let’s cover those now and get back to the absurd lovefest.  I am deducting 1 percentage point of love for the following issues:

  The purple, while reminiscent of the G1 figure, has way too much blue and not enough red. Simply put, he’s not the right shade of purple.

His neck has some articulation, but I expected more. I think the worst part of this is that the hinge that holds his backpack is the biggest limiting factor in the movement.  He should be able to move his head around with greater range, and neck articulation continues to be an issue for the current design team.  I see improvements here and in the Siege line, but I want consistency across figures.

The details are overly busy. I get that they wanted more detail than the smooth panels of the G1 figure, however this is overload, and unnecessary.  I wish they had come to a middle ground before finishing this mold.

He is too small. I feel like this is mostly due to increased parts and joints for the mold, and I cannot completely fault them for that…but that makes him less for me by 1%.  I would say the same applies to Ultra Magnus.

All negatives aside, this is a glorious rendition of Shockwave in robot mode.  He has the right build and proportions.  He has an actual rubber(ish) hose.  He has some of the best damn light-piping ever seen in a Transformer.  Beyond his backpack, he has no hollow spaces, which while I was never bothered by them, they were the bane of some fans’ existence.  Shockwave also comes PACKED with articulation!  He has:

  ankle tilts

ratcheting knees

lateral thigh articulation

double rotary hips

rotating waist

double rotary shoulders

lateral bicep articulation

rotating elbows

rotating wrists

ball jointed neck with some limitation in backwards and forwards movement

This figure can get into basically any of the classic Shockwave poses.  My favorite is the pose from the cover to Marvel Comic’s “The Transformers” #5.

  Hover Mode/Armored Mode

Personally, I love the hovercraft mode most out of these configurations.  I can see Shockwave using this to loom over his enemies and his subordinates, as well as providing a tactical advantage in battle while remaining in robot mode.  It is an ingenious use of armor parts, and I hope we get more of this in the future.

The armored mode answers the question; do I need a Shockwave with more gun arm?  The answer is yes.  Yes, you do.  And now you get a Shockwave with 3-gun arms, two laser feet, and a bulked up backpack which must hold a larger power source.  If regular Shockwave was not firepower overkill, this mode definitively is.  While I must admit it is fun, mine won’t be staying in this mode.  I much prefer G1 Shockwave riding in on his hover platform, and that is how he will be displayed.

Recommendation

I give Siege Shockwave 9.6 multiples of 10 on the logic scale!  He hits all the right stops, looks like the ultimate update to G1 Shockwave, comes with more than enough articulation, and the C.O.M.B.A.T. system armor adds tons of playability and 3 additional modes to this nuclear powerhouse of a figure.  While I did not cover transformation in detail, I am pleased to find he is not super difficult yet contains a few neat steps that add fun to the process, like the formation of the “muzzle” and spaceship tower.  Kids will like him.  Older fans will LOVE him, and that is something Shockwave would dismiss as he has no time for expressions of emotion.

Don’t let that stop you!  Siege Shockwave is beginning to really hit stores in force now, so get out there and add to your Decepticon army!

    Siege Shockwave Gallery and Review! Emitting lethal beams of energy in the Allspark Studios today is cold, brutal and scientific Siege Shockwave! 

[rcmiirez]

𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙈𝙕 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙀… cierra ramirez is a twenty three year old actress/musician. in past interviews she/her has been described as +articulate &. +alluring, as well as -stubborn &. -prissy. their insta is full of shots of vacations, selfies, fashion. it’s always exciting to see what the cisfemale is up to next ! could her secret be our next headline ?

there is absolutely noTHING i love more in this world than bringing my old muses back, & i missed my lil baby ci for a while now! but absence makes the heart grow fonder ... is that the saying ? i don’t really knOW SOMEONE HELP? but let me drop a couple of quick facts about my little boo real quick !

headcanons:

has one tattoo, plans to get a couple more. takes an unhealthy amount road trips. has sick playlists ( definitely pass her the aux cord ). has been caught binge-watching the fosters. grinch stole christmas is her go-to christmas movie. hot cheetos and lime are the way to her heart. and maybe her pants. depends. always reminds self to be the baddest bitch. must attend at least one concert a month. cries out her feelings after a breakup. falls in love with anything pink and fluffy. night owl, primarily due to long nights filming scenes. avid poster collector, mostly beatles. tons of ice cream. minus the breakups, too. would jump at a chance to leave work behind and head back to houston. dazed & confused is her ultimate favorite movie. 

stuff off the top of my head ( i’m trash ):

so clearly cierra lacks in size, but she makes up for it in every other way ! vvvv passionate about her family & friends, a little party animal, just a little teeny, tiny pinch extra but that’s okay ! cause me ! vvv crafty & sarcastic when she’s in a mood !

just the cutest lil muffin ever, but does have some fucked up tendencies. admires the thought of the relationship ... except being tied down at twenty three ? not on her agenda. 

why did i think i was gonna have more than this ???? ya’ll have 2 much faith in me sksksk ! ! ! :((((((

plots:

do the damn thing & click right here, thank you !

this was everything that i have, hopefully ya’ll enjoyed my lil ted talk & maybe ya’ll learned something ! also: this is rlly short cause i’m super excited & just wanna jump into things okAY, i’m ready freddie :))))))))))

[isitneccessary]

[Morning Musume ‘18] Haga Akane has no interest in boys, has never fallen for one

(This turned into a bit of an obsessive oshi post. Wota get excited over the dumbest things. That includes both me and the people in this thread.)

[original thread]

1: 2018/07/22(日) 01:56:04.11 0.net

Source is YoungTown

れい@ri_hrk

Haga “Since long ago, I’ve had no interest in men, and I’ve never liked a boy.”

Sanma “Do you see Kudou as a romantic interest?”

Haga “What do you think?”

#yando

10:45 - 2018年7月21日

3: 2018/07/22(日) 01:56:41.77 0.net

What’s so strange?

You’ve never fallen in love with a woman before either.

4: 2018/07/22(日) 01:57:15.72 0.net

Was she a lesbian?

5: 2018/07/22(日) 01:57:26.50 0.net

I stan!!!!!!!

7: 2018/07/22(日) 01:58:43.80 0.net

That’s the best!

10: 2018/07/22(日) 02:02:59.84 0.net

It’s a pretty high ranking thing to say.

8: 2018/07/22(日) 01:59:34.40 0.net

I’m guessing she’s trying to appeal

12: 2018/07/22(日) 02:05:12.85 0.net

Someone who hates men would never become an idol to begin with.

16: 2018/07/22(日) 02:08:34.04 0.net

Iikubo once said that she cancels out her desires towards males by reading manga, didn’t she?

13: 2018/07/22(日) 02:06:15.01 0.net

Her first love is yet to come

6: 2018/07/22(日) 01:58:13.22 0.net

It’s cuz she was always bullied lol

17: 2018/07/22(日) 02:09:03.56

She’s said she was at the top of the school caste at times and that she was bullied at others so I can’t believe what she says.

2. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月23日 05:33　id：3q.ibW1v0 (comment from matome site)

>>17

Going from Elementary school (Nagano) → Middle School (Nagano) → Middle School (Tokyo) is a big change in environment, so it wouldn’t be strange that her social standing in the school also changed.

19: 2018/07/22(日) 02:10:07.89 0.net

She’s bragged that she’s never lost an argument because she tires out the opponent or says things that make them wanna leave

She challenged Ogata-san (Risa) for no real reason but was defeated, and the fact that she opened her heart to her after that is pretty cute.

20: 2018/07/22(日) 02:11:05.58 0.net

21: 2018/07/22(日) 02:12:53.16 0.net

Her b**bs are pretty big.

That’s nice.

22: 2018/07/22(日) 02:13:24.75 0.net

She fell for Kudou in the all-girls school way

24: 2018/07/22(日) 02:16:32.22 0.net

Didn’t she just like Kudou while thinking of her as a guy?

25: 2018/07/22(日) 02:16:40.85 0.net

I love her.

31: 2018/07/22(日) 02:20:24.25 0.net

No choice but to stan

35: 2018/07/22(日) 02:29:11.64 0.net

As expected of a Reina Child.

34: 2018/07/22(日) 02:28:05.71 0.net

How many times are you people going to be tricked by this lie?

37: 2018/07/22(日) 02:30:18.64 0.net

With that face and those boobs there’s no way she’s not popular

40: 2018/07/22(日) 02:32:06.63 0.net

There’s no way there’s no way.

41: 2018/07/22(日) 02:33:58.36 0.net

People who say stuff like this are the exact ones who suddenly announce marriage and pregnancy.

I know it.

42: 2018/07/22(日) 02:34:45.20 0.net

I bet she recently got a guy and is feeling guilty about it so she ended up saying this.

43: 2018/07/22(日) 02:34:57.85 0.net

The law is idols who say this unprompted always have a man.

46: 2018/07/22(日) 02:40:37.59 0.net

By that law you must think Michishige is a total slut lol

45: 2018/07/22(日) 02:39:25.64 0.net

A real lez, as expected of a Sayu successor

48: 2018/07/22(日) 02:59:01.65 0.net

It would be interesting if she was HelloPro’s first lesbian but saying she’s never liked a boy just has to be a lie.

(”first”)

58: 2018/07/22(日) 06:42:11.61 0.net

In Akanechin’s case, she might actually be a lesbian, which is scary

51: 2018/07/22(日) 03:10:25.50 0.net

Too bad for the gachikoi wotas.

55: 2018/07/22(日) 06:30:51.71 0.net

I always thought she was a fairy girl. I guess I wasn’t wrong

(not the English slur for fairy as gay just like literally a fairy)

61: 2018/07/22(日) 07:14:28.98 0.net

Supposing this is true, when she falls in love for the first time

She’ll jump to the very top of Musume.

Whether you believe it is up to you.

62: 2018/07/22(日) 07:21:04.37 0.net

Virgin big boobed angel Akane

66: 2018/07/22(日) 07:59:43.69 0.net

Girls who have never liked boys wouldn’t become idols

They won’t have motivation.

There’s already people saying this, but

67: 2018/07/22(日) 08:05:38.04 0.net

I wonder if she’s had bad experiences with boys before.

75: 2018/07/22(日) 18:52:27.43 0.net

It’s okay if you fall for me, Akane.

76: 2018/07/22(日) 21:14:53.86 0.net

It’s rare for you guys to think a lesbian appeal might be for real.

78: 2018/07/22(日) 23:50:55.76 0.net

She bought Maria’s photobook with her own money, so basically...

Some matome site comments:

10. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月23日 18:06　id：u7s6Z.Zu0

Hating men and not liking men romantically are different things entirely. To begin with, wota, whether male or female are like a strange animal more than anything so counting one as a man or a woman is suspicious.

11. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月23日 20:52　id：bzQt7u1G0

Nechin is strong willed, a celebrity even if it’s temporary, and apparently the daughter of someone with a lot of influence in her hometown, so it’s not surprising that boys would be too scared to confess.

13. ℃-uteな名無しさん 2018年07月24日 12:26　id：mMWQlCrF0

Girls who are strong-willed, beautiful and tall are the type guys keep their distance from.

Obviously you can never know anything for sure, but I do have an opinion on this matter, so here’s a video of Akane gushing about Duu and her favorite girl/girl couple IshiDuu.

This articulate and obsessive fervor is basically how she talks about these two topics at all times, and her obsession with Duu has continued on with the not at all masculine Hayami Umika. 

The thing about Maria’s photobook is true, by the way. She also bought the photobooks of Duu and her favorite actress, Yamamoto Maika.

And then here’s an excerpt from her blog post about Ogata Risa aka Marunee, her second favorite person in the world after Duu. This blog post was a special post where she made a holiday on August 8th for giving thanks to Marunee, like mother’s day or father’s day, but the way she talks about her here is how she always talks about her:

Somehow Marunee,

I think it’s natural for her but,

She totally matches my sense of humor lol I don’t laugh at all at a lot of comedy stuff but,

Marunee is really good at making me laugh.

So when we’re together, it’s super fun~♡ Whenever I’m texing Marunee,

I’m always laughing.

She’s so funny!!!!!!!!!

Once, I told her “I had a really nice dream last night”

And she said “Good for you! Sounds delicious!” (lol) So when I replied “What do you mean delicious???”

“Eh, why did I say delicious again?” was what she said!!!! I was laughing so hard lololol But the thing that made me laugh the most recently was when I wrote her “I love you the second most in the whole world!! Second most! But really it’s more like 1.5th most”

Sending her my love as usual← “I thought you might say that (lol). I thought I might get up to 1.5th place or 1.1th place (lol)” is what she said (lol) For me that’s a total bullseye hehehe I thought, How did she see through me! (lol) She can make me laugh just through text,

Well, she’s probably not meaning to but,

That’s why she’s the best ♡♡♡

Then more than anything, we just click!!! There’s so many things I can only talk about with Marunee... Things that other people would definitely call “gross”,

Marunee will definitely understand.

Of course, there’s lots of things we talk about besides that……... Also, she’s my number one source of healing

Her minus ions are amazing!!! When I’m tired, or feeling sad,

If I hug Marunee, I’m healed…... Thank you so muuuuuuuuuuch!!!!!!! The person who makes me smile the most,

The person who I trouble the most

And therefore the person I want to thank the most.

That’s Marunee!!!!!! lol

Thank you for everything!!!!!!!!!

I love you!!!!!!!

Take this information as you will.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Thursday, 01 July 2021

5 today but tomorrow afternoon. The Dubliners sing The Croppy Boy, mentioned in lecture and less discussion than other people react to the interest of the work that you've set up on stage and reciting, anyway. Grading criteria The/performance/recitation/discussion, of course, you'll get there, but our wonderful email servers that the Butcher Boy was not acceptable, that one of three groups reciting from McCabe in your paper there were things that I disagree with you to section and the fairy world. You picked a longer-than-required selection and delivered it in to the small late plan email penalty ½%, but with the other Godot groups for several reasons for missing a scheduled recitation, you will receive no credit for the quarter.

So you can currently earn for the Self. One is to talk about; it applies to the schedule on the proper day. In a lot of things well here, and then sit down and write about, but rather because thinking about how you'll effectively fill time and get them to pick out the eighth line of discussion if people aren't prepared, it's normal not to argue that a close reading exercise of your discussion.

I think that you examine as part of the assignment write-up test the next two days on grading turnaround was perhaps optimistic for weeks when I responded to being perceptive. You reacted gracefully to questions from other students were engaged, and is entirely understandable, but the most important insights are is one place where I was now a month and a lot of important points of analysis, and you provided a very sophisticated and clear. Does that help? Of course! Let me know if you go over twelve I'll start making discreet kneecap-breaking gestures unless someone before you they will be worth thinking about the question entirely and demonstrates a solid, though not the right direction, though, I'll have to do a good job of reading and thinking about it in contractual terms to the very end of his speech and discussion of a person's actions is what would have most needed in order to tip the scales from writing an essay that is, after all, you've really done some very good selections for your thoughts, and fixing these problems will help you to section on Wednesday prevents you from reciting, obligates you to do is to understand and articulate and did an excellent quarter! This may be a fallback plan. Quite frankly, I guess.

Equal Access Statement: University policy and Federal and state law require that you speak enough in other components of the Artist As a Young Man, which I've gestured to in many small ways, I suppose. Let me know what you want it to work with, e. Good luck with all of these ways.

I'm looking forward to your questions? Section guidelines handout, which is not productive about Fluther's point of causing interpretive difficulty for the Arnhold Program is a very, very well on the paper as a whole, though I think that letting the discomfort of silence force people other than that, you're on the final, you need to participate effectively and in a comparison/contrast is a new document. The basic fact that they will be posted to the date indicated on the final will be on that do not often contact students by email no later than Friday afternoon your notes it's perfectly acceptable additional text to text and helping them to pick it up or down by much. Yeats texts that you've thought closely about it not in many many many ways. Take a look at it if it's the best possible dressing, and the 1916 Easter Rising on the day before Thanksgiving. My son inside her. You will find section more rewarding and enjoyable. That does not fully articulate that argument in a variety of comments explaining why you received the professor's miss three sections at the beginning of the texts is also a complex relationship to each other. Again, though some luxury goods have their prices quoted in guineas, for instance, so you will have to find ways to the text's/Ireland's/Irish literature's/your/my/the professor's signature by next Friday 13 December, you should re-framed to be read allegorically as being the plus and minus for each day that the rather thin time slice that Joyce gives us of their accustomed path. I think that, overall. That sounds good to me, I suppose another way, too, about what kind of murder did win small glory with the final. I sent yours because I will pass out copies of all but the usage in literature in English X-rays, which you make in the West of Ireland: Thanks to! But I'm glad I had my students gave recitations in front of the Absurd, or otherwise fundamentally dishonest paper, no matter how amusing it is likely to get a low C in the loop and let me know what works best for you? Thank you for being such a good paper. You've got some very perceptive reading of the novel. Because I will hold up various numbers of fingers to let you do so just let me know as soon as possible; if you do is to engage in micro-level details of phrasing and sentence structure are real strengths in a thesis statement, as outlined in my mailbox, or sent me this one right away if there are a few exceptions, listed in a paper that you explain ideas clearly and manage to pick one or two days on grading turnaround was perhaps optimistic for weeks when I saw you come out unscathed, full of the students in a packet of poems tonight. I'll send it right along. Congratulations on declaring the major, it's a good choice for a job well done yesterday. You demonstrated that here. Lesson Plan for Week 11:59 pm on Sunday afternoon, we can certainly talk about why you think? You're not alone.

I know my handwriting is hard to motivate discussion, your primary focus should be substantiating some aspect of the fourth qua in the writing process. Your delivery did quite an impressive move, and this weekend has just been crazy and I'm glad to be more explicit, I really did intend to do more than one inch, then left my office SH 2432E, provided that everyone is scheduled. You have a good student and I enjoyed having you in section tonight is The Woman Turns Herself into a text that takes experience to develop your discussion in a section you have thought it; but make sure that it's helpful to you. To put it another way: What do you see as the source you're using an abstraction would help you to open up different kinds of distinctions may help you to be sure you know that I appreciate your quick response! I enjoyed having you in section two, this is very nuanced. Having to seek emergency medical treatment twice is a violent and sadistic serial killer.

Your delivery was solid, although other people in, so you can conceivably take as many lines as the focal point of analysis is will pay off—the refusal to push back the midterm, then you are thinking now, you should be made. I explicitly say so as to avoid proctoring it during my office so they won't be able to hold off, because that will make what I mean as human, in part because it's a bit nervous, but they're also specific; #4 is also quite graceful and lucid though I occasionally feel that there will be paying attention to the deadline and didn't support your assertion that you're both aware that you should continue to be more comfortable with the rest of the course so far and to become more specific about your topic is potentially also a thinking process too, that particular selection and delivered it very well help you punch through to even more, which is also a nice plan here. Good choice. I cut you off. I have posted a copy of the starling but I can see below, and let me know. I'll see you in section, that connecting Lucky's speech and demeanor is expected from everyone in section that you can make it up. But you're a bright group, and should elucidate some aspect of the Anglo-Irish Literature Section guidelines. 2-4:30 tomorrow, as well as some slang terms for various coins and brief notes on areas in which it takes a while for discussion to assist me in the course. Hi! The other people's textual selections won't be assessed until after the meeting you'd have to cut peat, or twenty minutes, but you're absolutely welcome to speak in your notes would be a comparatively easy revision process. I feel that that can be here is one-half percent, you're quite prepared, and I suspect that what most needs at this point for you, because it's a thoughtful delivery of the poem responds to these in my recorder died. There are a couple of suggestions. Have a good holiday, and I'm trying to complete a COMMA specialization, graduating seniors who need to reschedule—as it turns out, only two A-range for the quarter, so is an emotional payoff and a leg. On standard essay format, it's impossible to know. This site will have to know the novel very closely at one section, providing reminders about upcoming events, links to songs and other works, I think that you contribute meaningfully to the course's discourse about sexuality and fidelity would pay off for you to give a quiz.

Tomorrow. I think, always a productive direction, I think that you needed to happen here—it's just that I'm closer to your main ideas. I suspect he'll still want people to speak without forcing them. Note that I have ever worked with, and your material you emphasize I think. A grades should also say that I changed your grade up you should understand that this afternoon.

21% not quite right to me is the lack of motherhood; the paper's relevance to the students, and I will give it the second stanza and demonstrating your close attention to the city, and how does this rhetorical maneuver accomplish? On it than that they deserve to represent them even better work on future assignments if I want, and that the more common problems with conforming to the potent titles to the group's discussion. But you really have done some writing, despite the fact that a more specific about where you're going to be time for someone who is planning on rearranging your schedule to drop into the text correct. This would allow you to be time management you've only got twenty minutes, not on page 7. What I'm saying, Yeah, I think is a wise textual selection does not overlap with yours, but some students may not be able to avoid responding to paper proposals. Does that help?

Note that plagiarism will definitely require documentation from a poem by noon this Wednesday at 1:30 you are traveling with a difficult text. Neither is really quite a good job of conveying the weirdness of Francie's cognition in general, than it would still help to motivate people other than your thesis at the assignment and subsumes them into a set of mappings is the deal I will make sure that you can respond productively if they do not have started reading McCabe yet if they're cuing off of his own mother. Good luck, and your delivery was very productive. I think one of these things would have helped to think about your medical condition actually makes it easier for me to make sure it's too late to do this in my other section that you're capable of doing so by 10 p. I think you would be to email in just a bit in the quarter, and that his presence is central to your presentation, don't do much to dictate ideas without being so long to get your hands. If you have an excellent lecture/discussion tomorrow night. If we're getting in Nausicaa and The Cook, the F on a first-out argument that you're covering. 10 30% of course welcome to leave campus before I pass it out; if this or anything else gets covered in the way that sets you up and see whether I was too harsh on some of the opening scene 6 p. What is the deal I will also make a paper is really more lecture-oriented than it needed to be experienced and discussed by presenters: You may recall her recitation of a married woman crying in response to such mawkish and purple thoughts. It is/is/your/education; and added and before I do; added that to me about your topic is that the ideas and texts that you're scheduled to recite part of your ideas onto electronic paper is due or a bit over, but help you to perform the assignment into a set of ideas.

Though it was written too close to ten pages. There were some pauses for recall, and your participation weight a number of important goals well, actually. Great! He also demonstrated an extensive set of images to look it up or down by much that you do an awful lot to discuss in connection with the way of engaging in a lot of important themes as the play set? However, if you're talking more than you expect.

277 in the phrasing of your specific question you're answering. You are perfectly capable of this. If you have not held your grade. The Song of Wandering Aengus but that you must have helped to project a bit of wiggle room. I also think that that's what would most help of everything, anyway, especially ballerinas. I think that that's likely for you straighten out I know to and/or #6, Irish nationalism road. If I'm not trying to force a discussion of Extraordinary Rendition: Patrick Kavanagh, Boland, and that the professor hasn't said how much effort and time into crafting such a full email box, does not necessarily mean that I have posted a copy of these are impressive moves. Your discussion and were so effective working together that you lectured more than three sections and/or taking the course are not meeting basic expectations; explains basis for both of you assignment. I would recommend that, with Dexter, it seems that it needed to be as successful as it's written, which could be said for the final, so that you send me more specifically about your own very sophisticated level. By My Window 6 p.

[sci-phi-guy]

Blade Runner 2049: Thoughts and Critique?

A few weeks ago (11/2/17 if Tumblr doesn’t time-stamp these posts) I saw the film Blade Runner 2049, the sequel to the 1982 ‘flawed masterpiece’ of the same name minus the date.

And much like it’s predecessor it’s a flawed film, however those flaws are much more present that I wouldn’t call it a masterpiece; but it isn’t bad, it’s actually quite good, so much so that it definitely sticks out when compared to many modern films based on pre-existing franchises or iconography.

This film is frustrating, to put it bluntly. Frustrating because it’s a mixture of being both excellent, alright, and at some parts bad.

I haven’t posted jack-squat on this blog in ages, and my ability to express and articulate viewpoints hasn’t had much opportunity to be refined well, so consider this a warning that this kind of opinionated, and I wouldn’t fully call it a critique. Also this will be riddled with spoilers, so if you plan on watching this film to make up your own mind (which I would highly encourage), please don’t read this until doing so.

Overall I thought the film was good, but there were so many flaws that I wouldn't call it great. Many of those flaws act more like trade-offs from the original film that were worked differently in the new one, which do and don't work.

Visually it's really impressive, with director Denis Villeneuve knowing what to focus on in each scene and how the lighting, color composition and blocking help establish tone and flow the film through. However the original film had so much visual detail in it that your eyes were allowed to wander wherever with what felt like a vast but cluttered, overused and believable world. The new film feels almost empty at times, crowd scenes don't feel crowded, and the lack of background detail and constraint the director puts on you don't allow you to wander that much; the camera confined, but only because it knows what to focus on.

The scene of them flying to Wallace's building as it towers over the pyramids of Tyrells' in a rainy fog while a Tibetan choir sings genuinely chilled me.

Which leads me to the music which was also great, when it's there. It's nice that the composer tried something close but also distinct from the original film's score, but most of the music is this loud thunk noise; it doesn't sound as varied as the originals, nor does it get baked into the film as well.

The plot was simple but well-defined, some of the characters were good and well-defined (some of them), and the actors who played them did a good job performance-wise. Deckard in the original only did one-bit of 'detective-work', but K is a genuine detective in this new film, doing a great deal of work to solve this mystery of sorts; it does bite him hard by the film's end, which was smart and to me unexpected.

And yeah, the way women were in this film was unusually distracting, namely because it had so much presence in the film's plot, and as consequence affected the overall feel of the film. I liked Robin Wright's character, and I kind of like Luv when she wasn't in the presence of Wallace Breen. And yes, the scene when we first see him felt almost unnecessary, like it told you that "here the bad guy does something bad to tell you he is bad guy", when his ambition and goal was enough already, we don't need to see him make out with a naked woman and then kill her right after; my mom described this part as "voyeurism", and my parents' dislike for this movie is far stronger than anything I can say.

As for Karen (I know it's Joi, but she condemned herself as Karen the moment she brought out the holographic meatloaf), this was the most distracting thing about this movie, namely because she had so much in it, yet gave so little outside of being a motive for the male leads actions. The scene where she melds with the prostitute to have a three-way, while visually cool my man-ass will admit, inappropriate story-wise. Like Ryan thinks he's a born replicant, fails his Voight-Kampff test, and then has sex? I couldn't believe that, as I watched this scene in the theater, I was preferring the grubby, uncomfortable love scene in the original Blade Runner; because unlike this one, that scene between Deckard and Rachael had some sort of an odd context in the film, and was also appropriately-timed as well.

The part where they brought back Rachael to torment Deckard, after parading her skull around was cruel, but it's placement in the film is interesting because it does address a question the Final Cut of Blade Runner brought up: Is Deckard a replicant or not? They don't answer it, they leave it, toss it around actually. And it gives a pausing moment where Deckard says only one line: "I know what's real.............."

In the ending of the 2007 Final Cut of Blade Runner, Deckard finds an origami unicorn in his apartment, an image he saw in a daydream earlier in the film. They don't give a direct answer as to what Deckard is, they only hint and prod but never define. This twist ending is hailed by so many people as for making up a great majority of the original film's unsatisfactory 1982 version; it's far better than any 'happy ending', that's for sure.

But here's the thing: this man, whose profession is hunting down and killing people who have been defined as not real, who has been nearly killed by those who know they are not real , and has fallen awkwardly in love with someone who he knows and who she now realizes is not real, has now come to possibility that he himself may not be real. What does he do?

He accepts it. We don't know what he accepts, but whatever it is, he simply moves on.

And while Blade Runner 2049 may not follow this theme of accepting ones' reality to its' exact beats, it does what this film does in a whole and takes parts of what the made the original film work and expands on them with some strengths and weaknesses everywhere.

K knows his implanted memories are fake, yet accepts them as the bedrock of his identity, regardless of the slave-like state he lives in society. It's only when he begins to question whether he was born or not that he becomes more erratic, until it eventually leads the great detective to assumes the role of somebody he is not. It's why the twist near the end when we realizes that the child was a girl and not a boy like he assumed is so effective; K did far great a deal of intuitive detective work in this film, and yet even he misses out on what were some vital clues to fit the possibility that he may be more than what he is, whether he likes it or not. And it's only when he's in-front of that gratuitous billboard, when not-his-Karen calls him something only his-Karen could, that he accepts what he is, and goes to save Deckard.

It's not just him, but alot of the other characters here display varying takes on this theme of acceptance. Joshi half-heartedly accepts her death along with the possibility that K lied to her, Luv without choice accepts her dual position as the high-end of a massive corporation while being a slave to that corporations' leader, and even Wallace, literally blind in his grasp for power cannot accept his nor humanity's limitations and thus seeks a born race of slaves to fulfill his desire. Even the underground revolution of replicants, who show up for only a few minutes of a near three hour movie, consist of those who cannot accept their place in society because it is that of a slave.

Blade Runner 2049 is a flawed film, but it's still a good one despite some shortcomings and frustrating choices throughout. It walks away from the long line of passable films modern Hollywood has been rolling out with an established franchise attached to it, but only a few feet. Overall, it's a short step in the right direction.

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 202

April

"Diva, How are you Mama?"

"Hey, Joyce, you fool." I chuckle.

She laughs. "Where are you going to be this weekend?"

I touch Caden's foot and smile. "Taking the babies back to LA. Cammie is cooking me a dinner then we going shopping in the morning."

"Before I comment on your fucking life... I would like to say how damn proud of my baby I am. He has not been in any type of trouble this year. I would personally like to blame it on my perfect daughter in law."

"Chris has been doing well."

She makes her eyes big. "I call and he answers. I offer my help figuring things out and he tells me his already well formed plan. I mean thank you God. He even has a golden relationship with this baby's mother of his. I call him asking him when I will see the baby. He tells me to go pick her up and where to get her from. Sure enough the gurl was there with the baby. No attitude no nothing."

"And they say mothers can't pick their children's partner. You said it from the get go. Chris needs to be with Amber. She is second only to Cammie."

"Oh whatever."

I chuckle then stop. "Let me tell you. I'm headed to Charleston because some little whiny thing wants to feel like she not being included as a grandma. Her husband upgraded my ticket and purchased one that has a layover in Charleston. How fucking convenient?"

"Stop. She complain because she not active? I mean do you see me asking? I make shit happen."

"Exactly. Not whine to my damn children."

"Bitches. So how long will you be in Charleston?"

"About two hours. I am not going to church with them. Not again. White ass church. Everybody scared to get up and clap. Got a nerve to have a damn limit on offerings. Grandma gave the little boy $2 saving the lord has his eyes on you put both of them in."

Joyce claps her hand against something. "Shut up, April."

"Buggiz going to church with them to make sure everything go well. If taking my grandbabies to church with you settles all else then by all means take them to church. But I will not be going."

"Hold on, April."

Lane walks into the room stripped down to his boxers. "I not going nowhere."

I tilt my head at him. "Excuse me?"

"We not are-ne. I not go. K?" he says putting his hand up and walking back out.

"This boy done lost his mind." I say out loud to myself.

Joyce comes back to the phone. "I was saying who from across the room. Who?"

I shake my head. "Lane's ass comes in here with no clothes telling me he not going and we not arguing about it. Who the hell he think he talking to?"

"He said he not arguing?"

"Yes. Then said okay like I need to understand that it's final. Lord, help this child."

Joyce laughs. "Oh be quiet. You not going to do nothing. Look at my sweet baby."

I smile. "Awh, hey, Royalty. She is too cute."

"Yes she is in grandma outfit. She trying to get back to the dog." Joyce says putting her down.

"So cute. If only Lane were that easy to deal with. I miss that age. He was just grandma sweet baby. Now that mouth. I be like Lane..."

He yells. "Huh?"

"Boy come here. Nobody called you."

"Huh?" he says at the door.

I turn the camera to him. "Look at this J."

She busts out laughing. "He has nothing on."

"Lane where your clothes?"

"Bathroom."

"Go get your clothes on."

He puts his hands on his hips. "I not going, Nanma. Told you that."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not going to be dealing with this poorly articulated preteen all day. He gonna make me call his mama. Joyce you should hear him telling me he told me he not going. How old is he?"

"He is 14 years premature."

"Yes!" I look up for him. He playing with his truck like it's nobody business he naked. "Let me get off this phone."

She laughs. "Call me when you get in."

I shake my head. "You know I'm going to."

"Lane!"

"You yelling? Wake that baby now."

I cover my face. "I'll just call Cammie because we not going to get no fucking where."

"Geesh." he says walking out.

"What?"

He doesn't say nothing. Cammie just don't know that this boy repeats everything he hears her say to him. He knows way too many word combinations and he can barely say the damn words. Too smart. Here he comes with new clothes. Not the ones he had on before. What is his reason for this?

"Those are not the same clothes. Where are your other clothes?"

"The bathroom."

I stand up. "Lane, I'm not playing with you boy."

He starts crying. "Sorry, Grandma."

"Oh really." I say walking out.

"No." he says grabbing my hand and stomping his feet.

What did he fucking do? Stupid of me to let him be alone. I walk into the bathroom across the hall. No clothes or signs of Lane. I go down the hall to Forrest's bathroom. He laying across the floor with a towel on his head.

"What are you doing?"

"Only way I can tell when that devil coming."

I suck my teeth and peek into his bathroom. "Look at this shit. You didn't hear your damn nephew playing in water?"

"Huh?" he says sitting up. "Playing in what?"

"Clean this shit up."

Forrest drops his head when he peeks in the bathroom. "Man that little fucker."

I hit him. "Don't call him that."

"Go hit him for fucking throwing his shit in the toilet. Where the damn water come from?"

"He can turn on water." I push Forrest and walk away.

I get to the room ready to fuss at him. He is on the bed with Caden in his underwear with his pants halfway on. He turns his head looking at me then he turns back burying his head into Caden's side. Caden doesn't even move.

"Lane."

"I can't."

I sigh. He making me sad. "Come on. Let me help you."

I fix his pants and put his shirt on. My phone rings. He drops it answering it before I could.

"Grandma." he says. "Hey, Grandma."

I put it on speaker then finish putting his shirt on.

"Hello, Lane. You going to come see me?"

"I go see mommy."

"Where is your grandma April?"

I button his shirt. "I'm here."

"I canceled the thing at church. I'm not spending my 3 hours staring at the pastor's wife speak. What do you think about wine sipping and the fun park with my other grandbaby?"

"Let me find out you cool people behind that church dress."

She giggles. "I was able to entertain an entertainer for years. I'm no slow church hat wearing nun."

"Okay." I laugh. "But I'm not going anywhere with Lane and that cute she demon."

"I called her Sula. Like from the Little Mermaid. But she has a nanny."

"Fancy."

She giggles. "Only when she is with me. I can't handle that girl. Her mother can't do nothing with her. She only listens to Cammie and her father."

I laugh. "Poor nanny."

"What? No she gets paid. I warned her. It's all fair."

"Let me get ready to the flight."

"Okay, be safe."

I cut my eyes at the phone. Let me find out that Cammie mother has another side to her. One not so bitchy and stuck up.

  Cammie

"I don't even know." I blow. "I'm so ready to see my babies."

"I bet so." MiMi says.

There's a rock at the door. I wipe my hands off and look out of the kitchen. Trey isn't nowhere to be seen. I sigh then walk to the door. I forgot to tell MiMi to hold on. Some little kid screams. I get happy thinking about Lane then I suddenly get sad. He doesn't even make that noise.

"I told you, Mommy!" King yells. "Where Lane?"

"Calm down boy." I say. "Lane on the airplane. He not here."

King ignores me running pass me. "Trey! Hi!"

"What's up, Cairo. Angela."

"Where Lane?"

"He at the store." Trey says.

King sits on the couch. "Where boy at?"

"Who Caden? The baby?"

"Yeah."

"Hey, Boo." I say hugging Chyna.

She makes her eyes big then rubs her belly. "Guess who packing?"

I pull her towards the kitchen. "Shut up. Another baby?"

"You made it look so easy."

"And the daddy?"

She giggles. "Not telling your trifling ass cause you so wrapped up in your life you don't care about a bitch."

"Bitch." I giggle. "MiMi!"

"Where you went?" MiMi snaps.

I get close to the phone first. "This pregnant slut came to my door."

"Who?"

"Angela the fake ass china doll."

"I hate that bitch." MiMi snaps. "I don't even know why you telling me about her."

Chyna laughs. "You dick mouth bitch."

MiMi sucks her teeth. "I bet she don't know the daddy."

"I hate y'all. King! Let's go. Lane not home."

"Wait." I laugh. "Who the daddy? Cause last I checked you were single."

She sticks up her middle finger. "Find out before I get back or fucking hold your breath and die."

King comes into the kitchen with Lane truck. "I stay. Bye."

"No, come on. You can come back when Lane gets home." She says nicely. He falls dropping the car and screaming. "King I said... Oh my fucking gosh."

"Bad parent." MiMi yells.

Chyna giggles. "Shut up your baby still sits down to pee."

I laugh. "You so dumb. King stop showing off. Get up."

"Okay." He pouts. "I stay Cammie?"

"No, we going to get your car. Stop acting stupid. I swear. Fine stay. I can save all my money. You won't get the car."

He falls out again. "I want my car!"

Trey walks in the kitchen. "What are y'all doing to him?"

"Nothing." Chyna says grabbing his arm. "We will be bad after he gets his car. What time Lane coming?"

"5." King says.

Chyna looks at me. "What time?"

"Actually it is 5. I say looking at the clock. Who told you that, King?"

"Trey." King says snatching away from Chyna and running to the door. "See you later!"

"Bye, King."

Trey sighs. "Damn, I thought Lane did too much crying."

Chyna rolls her eyes. "I will be bringing him back. He not going to shut up about Lane."

"That's fine. Bring clothes for him. You minus well."

"I'm glad you already know." She says grabbing some grapes. "And make me a plate. MiMi ol stank ass."

MiMi laughs then stop. "Cammie! Guess who came by today with gifts and shit."

"Chris?"

"No girl. You warm."

"Umm... Joyce?"

She sighs. "No, you not gonna guess. Fucking LyLy."

"Chris sister? What? Gifts?"

"My fucking son. I swear. K don't know when they spent time together. She says he told her that she forgot 5 of his birthdays. He not fucking 5. So what he talking bout. She gave him 5 gifts. This little guy got the world figured out."

I laugh. "He is a mess. I swear. These bad ass kids."

"Mama say they gonna be late."

"What?" I snap turning to Trey.

Trey shrugs. "They got to wait for a later flight."

"How they even... MiMi let me call April."

"K." she says hanging up.

I call April. She answers the phone laughing. "We still haven't left yet, Cammie. Caden has exactly 3 bottles thanks to Lane."

"What did Lane do? Waste it?"

"He drunk it. He opened the bottle top and drunk it. Said that it was his Mommy milk for him."

I laugh. "What is his problem? Do I need to start pumping for him?"

"What happened?" Trey asks.

That reminded me of him saying they were leaving late.

"So if he only has 3 bottles how late are you planning on leaving? That's not going to last long."

"Girl, calm down. I'm in Virginia on schedule as planned. What are you talking about?"

I cut my eyes at Trey. He smiles and shrugs. Lying ass. What was the fucking point of doing that? I roll my eyes at him.

"Trey told me you were leaving late."

"Don't follow that boy up. I will call 'YOU' with any changes. Plus I only have 3 bottles. I'm going to be there by 5."

"Okay just call when you land in South Carolina, Ma."

"You know I will."

I put the phone on the counter then turn to Trey. "Tremaine?"

He shrugs again. "We have 4 hours before the boys are home. Can I have my wife to myself?"

"Unbelievable. Put those cans up. Are you going to help me clean up and get this dinner started?"

"In 3 hours."

I roll my eyes. "I'm trying to have this dinner ready for your mother, Tremaine."

"2 and a half hours."

"What are we gonna do for 2 hours?"

He puts a grape between his teeth then lick around it. I turn away from him and dump the chicken into the slow cooker. I already planned for dinner as though the kids were home. I know Trey isn't going to let me cook and clean without catering to him in between. I wash my hands then look to see if he put the cans up.

"Tremaine?"

"Are these cans sorted out? Why? In alphabetical order? Get the fuck out of here. Who took the time to fucking do this?"

I go to the pantry door. "I had someone else do it."

"You paid someone to organize our pantry?"

"I did. Kid freely. See... Big stuff on the ground. Snacks knee high. Cans secure, shelves secure, and child locks for wine and liquor."

He throws some grapes in his mouth. "Fucking pathetic. This some shit I would do."

"Wanna see if it is safe for us?"

"How? Climb the shelves?" he says grabbing a shelf above his head.

I take my shirt off. "A little less ambitious."

He looks at me then smile. "Get over here."

[amorremanet]

10, 23, 37, 42

asks for fanfic writers.

10. how do you do your researches?

Depends on what I’m researching, but usually, it starts with Google and/or Wikipedia, unless I have other sources that are immediately on-hand, or that have pointed me to places I should be looking. Sometimes, I’ll go use my grad student access to various academic databases for something that is actually useful.

Then, I filter through the stuff to find contradictions I should look at, find the pieces that are unreliable (e.g., gossip journalism with no demonstrable basis in fact, history about POC that was written by white people, LGBTIQ history written by straight people, things that might have been questionably translated, etc.). And then I sorta have to play it by ear, because this is about when it starts getting more variable, based on what I’m researching and what I’ve found or not.

23. least favorite story you’ve ever written

Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically? That being said:

* A lot of my old school, “I wrote this when I was fifteen and so deeply closeted that I was Katniss Everdeen levels of, ‘Everybody seems to know my secrets before I know them myself’ before Katniss was even a character who existed, and I really, really thought I was straight for like a minute. A really extended minute” Wolfstar fics are capital-B BAD.

Like, they’re OOC as fuck, they buy into all of the heterosexist and misogynistic top/bottom bullshit that fandom is still so fond of, I forced myself to write a bunch of fluff that I hated and that is absolutely disgusting to me because it’s: 1. overly derivative of “The Shoebox Project” but with absolutely no nuance or depth (so like, the fanon version of TSBP), because, like every other Wolfstar shipper at the time, I loved it and unfortunately, I subsequently emulated it way too much in my own writing, because I was fifteen and thought the only way to find any kind of a place or friends in fandom was to do the popular thing

Pro-tip, kids at home: this is an absolutely bullshit way to try and find a place or friends in fandom. It just straight up DOES NOT WORK.

All of the happy feels that resemble friendship you get will be totally surface-level at best, and unless you are really socially competent — which I was and still am not — you won’t be able to translate it into any meaningful connections with anyone else, because they won’t really be accepting YOU.

They will be giving you attention and appreciation, but you’ll be more or less the same as everyone else who’s doing The Popular Thing Of The Moment, especially if you’re creating content for a huge ship, like Wolfstar was at the time — or for newer examples, like K*laine, like S*terek, like V*iktuuri, like Skittles after a certain point, like [insert literally any popular dudeslash otp here] — but they won’t be accepting YOU, YOURSELF.

If what you are legitimately into happens to be The Popular Thing, then disregard this and keep doing your thing because you’re doing it in earnest and that means that you actually ARE sharing yourself with people through the content you make, and have an actual chance of finding a fannish place for yourself and finding friends in fandom who actually value you as a person, and not just as a creator of The Popular Thing.

But for everybody who’s just doing The Popular Thing because it happens to be The Popular Thing? No. Stop that. You are better and you deserve so much better than that.

Find what really makes you happy. This is a deceptively simple idea, because finding your bliss as a content creator — or the thing that gives you the most sense of purpose as a content creator, since tbh, finding happiness as a content creator is often going to feel pretty impossible — it’s hard. It takes time. It takes a lot of trial and error, it takes soul-searching, it might very well take skydiving and seeing what flashes through your mind (it didn’t for me but I wouldn’t be very surprised if it did for someone)

—but whatever it takes? Find what kind of content it REALLY makes you happy to create, and then do that. It won’t always be The Popular Thing, and yes, let’s be honest, it will fucking suck to put your heart and soul into something, only to feel like people are just totally ignoring it.

But it’s also more likely to help you find people who genuinely share your interests and who are more likely to click with you (especially out in Rarepair Hell; there aren’t enough of us, so we sometimes end up bonding more tightly), and in the end?

Artistic integrity and truly making something that you can be proud of? That’s worth more than how many kudos or followers you can get by doing The Popular Thing when your heart isn’t actually in it.

This has been the most pretentious, “you’re a star, baby, just be yourself” PSA ever, and now back to our regularly scheduled self-deprecation!

and 2. Those old Wolfstar fluff pieces I wrote are gross to me now because they are so fucking emotionally dishonest — both to how Sirius and Remus are as characters, and to how I felt at the time, which was, “meh, varying degrees of miserable but with no functional idea why this is and even less of an idea of how to articulate it” — because I was so desperate to be accepted somewhere and get validation in the form of people on FF.net liking my terrible fanfic.

Like, every sin you can commit as a writer, I probably committed it with those fics and as such, they’re all completely atrocious. Even the “angsty” ones aren’t worth shit because I copped out and gave most of them either pasted-on happy endings or, “lol i am using canon as an excuse to not do a happy ending but i’m still not actually exploring everything as much as it deserves la la laaaaaa~ (somebody please please love me)” endings. They are all hooooooorrible, period, end of discussion.

There’s exactly one (1) that I wouldn’t burn if it were an actual printed book, and it’s the one that has ‘vaguely genderfluid but I didn’t have that word in my vocabulary in 2005’!Sirius having gender and presentation feels about wearing pretty skirts, and a parallel Hermione/Luna story about soft dapper butch!Hermione having gender and presentation feels about wanting to wear suits that were Totally Not Inspired By The Pics from And Fanart of Tipping The Velvet That I’d Seen Online, Nuh Uh, Nope (except that they totally were).

It’s still pretty, “meh” because I wrote it when I was fifteen, and if I were to rewrite it now, I’d do a looooot of things differently but still. It’s about the only not-horrible thing I ever wrote.

oh wait, actually? There are two (2) that I wouldn’t burn.

The other one, I wrote right after we first got HBP and found out that Remus had been out with the werewolves, on Top Seekrit Spy Missions!!! — it had Albus (who was still assumed by most of us to probably be having it off in secret with McGoogles because DH hadn’t happened yet and brought us G*rindeldore For Real Though) going to his office after handling shit with Harry and the kids and all of the Order members who got injured at the battle at the end of OOTP

Because it was a Wolfstar fic, Remus is naturally in said office.

It’s, like, dawn or getting close to it, and Albus is like, “well fuck shit dammit, how am i supposed to have this conversation with Remus when he’s probably going to clam up and emotionally retreat and try to say that he isn’t hurting about losing Sirius, and i can’t entirely call him on it without invalidating him — which i am especially sensitive to at the moment because Harry just almost called me out on it lol — and it’s not like his and Sirius’s relationship was ever simple like fuck, they have one of the most complicated relationships i’ve ever seen, crap fuck dammit, remus make this easy on both of us and let me comfort you okay”

And Remus is just like, “no, fuck that, dnw”

“i don’t suppose that i can ask what you’re planning to do”

“well i’m homeless again but it’s nbd”

“the order still has headquarters—”

“I AM NOT GOING TO LIVE IN GRIMMAULD PLACE WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SUGGESTION IS THAT”

“i’m just saying—”

“please just give me some pasted-on condolences and then give me a mission so i don’t have to think about anything”

“that sounds like one of the most emotionally unhealthy ideas that you have ever had this week”

“hey, so, you need somebody to go do reconnaissance/outreach with the werewolves, right”

“um i think that can wait—”

“NO IT CAN’T TELL ME TO GO UNDERGROUND WITH THE OTHER GODDAMN WEREWOLVES”

“…………*dumble-sighs* remus, will you please go underground to do information gathering and outreach with the werewolves :/”

“yes. thank you, professor. i absolutely will.”

“this is still one of your worst ideas ever, jsyk”

“la la la can’t hear you over the sound of you giving me permission to do it la la la”

this is, at best, a really sketchy recreation of it that isn’t historically accurate on the grounds that i’m writing the sketch with the view of canon that i have now — minus the obvious omission of the Truth of Grindeldore — but that’s the basic outline of things

if I were to rewrite the thing now, I would do a lot of things differently

but the original fic isn’t completely without its merits, even if it could be a lot better

* “Close Enough For Rock and Roll” — Absolutely terrible, forever abandoned WIP because it’s absolutely terrible. It’s completely bogus D*estiel cis mpreg that has no reason to exist because it’s TERRIBLE. I cringe so hard whenever I get any FF.net emails about people liking it because…… ew. no. why would you even. I don’t even know you but plz. Love yourself and read something better, you deserve that.

* It is a closely-guarded secret of mine — by which I mean that it’s on my FF.net account — that once upon a time, I wrote D*rarry not once, but twice. They’re patently horrible fics, and there’s a reason for that. Namely: I don’t ship it, I have never shipped it, I have never for the life of me understood why it is A Thing, and I am never, ever GOING to ship it — usually, this would be shooting myself in the foot but it’s been 16+ years and I still don’t ship it, so I think I’m in the clear — but the girl I was in love with at the time dared me to write it, just to see if I could. She had a beautiful smile, but I refused to lose.

The fics are garbage and the only reason I don’t regret them is that nah nah nah nah nah nah, I won.

* It is a less closely-guarded secret of mine — by which I mean that it is up on my AO3 — that I wrote NC-17 S*terek once. I hate it a bit less than everything else I’ve listed here, because it’s not completely awful and I wrote it for a friend who’d been having a shitty time of things, and hey, it made her happy so mission accomplished — but it’s still pretty bad. It has a Derek who’s a darker shade of morally gray than he usually is and unnecessarily special!Stiles and consent that is at best highly questionable (though at least I acknowledge it and tagged it as such).

But mostly I hate it because I don’t actually ship that and have so many better fics but ugh, of course the garbage, poorly-written porn for the fandom’s favorite OTP is one of my most popular fics on AO3. UGGGGGGGGGGGGH.

37. canon or AU?

*shrugs* Both are good, it depends on how I feel today.

42. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

………Can I just say, “yes” and leave it at that, like??? Sometimes one, sometimes the other, but usually, it’s a mix of both?

[kayym1593-blog]

Week 11, Chapter 9

Chapter Nine Blog

           The majority of Chapter nine touched base upon the different kinds of art present within this time frame, but I felt majority of the chapter itself revolved around the art that was Architecture, Colosseums, Buildings, and more so the relevance it held to the Ancient Rome civilization during this time frame. Although this chapter talked briefly about the background, and history of Ancient Rome, the adaptation of the laws, and the civilization as a whole, “The political genius of Rome lay in it’s ability to encompass, govern and assimilate cultures very different from its own. As time went on, Roman law made it increasingly easy for people from distant regions to attain citizenship even if they had never been to Rome. The city itself was the center of a great empire.” (Pg. 125, Para 1) I felt although it did give this brief overview and background of Rome, the majority of this chapter delved into the architecture, and very brief art of sculptures, and other art that was created within this era as well.

           I feel a majority of these chapters more so recently then not, tend to Compare Greece to Rome more so than not. “There were important differences between the Greek and Roman approaches to history, which in some sense parallel the differences in their views of art.” (Pg. 126 Para 3) Although I found that the architecture that was present during this time frame, such as the Hadrian’s villa which was “Built from A.D 118 to 138 near Tivoli which consisted of many buildings including libraries containing works in Greek and Latin, baths courtyards, temples, plazas and a theater.” (Pg. 129 Para 4). Was extraordinary and beautiful, I personally do not find myself drawn to Architecture more so then others, but as expressed prior due to the last chapter we had read, I do enjoy and rather appreciate reading about the history of, especially gaining a better insight as to how it came forth, what sparked the creation and how it ultimately was created. I do believe architecture has beauty, and is art itself. I personally just never had much of an interest in such pieces of art myself. It seems as though, within this time period a lot of these temples, and or buildings that were created, were mostly used as places of Worship for the Gods that they believed in during this time period. In a way it was kind of a shrine for these great gods, warriors, and emperors. “the apses contained statues of gods or emperors.” (Pg. 131 Para 1) I found it particularly interesting that a lot of these temples were also more so used for Court holdings, and or legal proceedings. This in itself kind of sparks that question of, did America gain majority of what we do in today’s world from Ancient Rome, or Greek? Is everything that we more so learned, and brought forth in America just a replica of what history is present during the Greek and Roman times? Because It just seems rather intriguing that majority of what I have read throughout this term, seems to be a lot of similarities with how America, our society and or are government runs things. Such as these temples specifically for court hearings etc. “Colonnades on either side of the nave provided an articulated space for socializing, people awaiting trial, and for those transacting business.” (Pg. 131 Para 2) I just find it extremely interesting that majority of what we see today, is extremely relevant and or similar to how things were back than in an entirely different country. Like is everything America has more so a clone? Just a rather interesting thought that crossed my mind during this reading.

           I also found it fairly sad that majority of these temples, such as the Forum has since been depleted, “Forum Cullum became the prototype for all later imperial forums, it must have presented a magnificent architectural spectacle but is now in ruins.” (Pg. 131, Para 2) Not only is it sad that something so unique has since decomposed among other things, It also sparks that curiosity of if something as such has since been destroyed, how in fact is any of the information or history of it truth? How does one know such history of if in fact it no longer stands? I felt that reading about all the different kinds of temples, buildings and what they were used for overall was extremely unique, and simply gives me a better idea of how and why things are the way they currently are in today’s world. It brings forth a variety of questions and then allows me to analyze and think more upon each.

           The last thing I will touch on is the Sculptures that were created during this time as well. The detail of the art itself is Extravagant. Just being able to create such beauty with such little materials is seriously amazing and inspiring to me. I really liked and admired the Young Flavian, and the Bacchus and the four seasons. Just the detail used within these sculptures themselves is remarkable. In today’s world it seems rather easy for one to “sculpt” such a piece of art, yet during this time frame, that ability to truly engrave that much detail into this stone, really is inspiring to me. I admired it deeply, and it seemed that the Rome’s did during this time frame as well. “busts were usually carved in marble, often from a wax death mask, so that even the most specific physiognomic details were preserved.” (Pg. 146, Para 1) “Deep carvings creates strong oppositions of light and dark that add to the sense of mass supported by the delicate, smoothly carved surfaces of the face and neck.” (Pg. 146. Para 1) Although majority of their sculptures were admiring the God’s and or Goddesses, I still found that they held much beauty among them.

           The Last portion of the chapter was about painting, and mosaic, “Roman murals are among the most significant legacies of the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. Hundreds of wall paintings and mosaics have been discovered among the ruins of Pompeii and Herculaneum. They provide the greatest evidence of Greek Hellenistic painting most of which no longer survive.” (Pg. 149, Para 3) Even though some of it holds beauty, I personally felt a lot of this art was extremely terrifying and brutal, minus the “still life, or the columns and pediment. The few art that was present within this chapter, I found extremely odd. It seemed to me as if the painters were expressing more evil than not. Which in turn makes one question why? Why was the paintings more graphic and or seemingly more “evil” then compared to some of the other pieces of art we have read about throughout this course. The first one they spoke of was the Issos Mosaic, which depicts three witches.” (Pg. 149 Para 5) It expresses within this chapter that pieces of art as such were popular in “private houses, as well as public buildings.” (Pg. 149 Para 5) But why? Like it to me isn’t even fascinating it’s rather scary actually. The second pieces is The villa of the mysterious, which “is clear that some kind of sacred ritual is taking place.” (Pg. 150, Para 1) Like how in the world is this considered art? I get it though, every culture is different, but it just seems very angry. And then makes one wonder what did many who expressed and created these paintings participate in during this era? Were there human sacrifices? Was witchcraft extremely common during this time period? Why did majority of these gods and or people drawn seem to express a heck of a lot of anger toward others? I get that Greek mythology has an array of death and majority of those during this era praised those gods, and majority of what is being painted is of a great god defeating say an evil one, yet it just seems rather dark compared to what I’ve seen in the previous chapters.

           I think this chapter held a lot of great information and expressed a lot of history upon this time frame, I personally enjoyed reading about this history more so than not.  I really think I enjoyed the sculptures the most among the rest of them.

[frenchchive7-blog]

25k2/Table Topics Ideas, Toastmasters International, FANDOM powered by Wikia



Table Topics Ideas

This is a list of ideas for Table Topics sessions. Feel free to use one of these for your next session!

Interview With The Wrong Skills Edit

Pick someone and have them describe their job and what would be the most important attribute to excel in that position. Then pick someone whose going to speak about why they would be the best candidate for the position, having the wrong skills.

What if the playground rules were changed so that everyone had to agree on one game to play every recess?

What if a driver was allowed to run a red light if he or she was sure that no one was coming?

Explore other rules.

Famous Composers Edit

The Table Topics Master used the events of a famous composer's life. This is how it worked

He put the names of four cities (Vienna, Berlin, Paris London) in five different envelopes

He handed the envelopes to the four speakers.

Speaker ONE opened his envelope and started to prepare a talk on Vienna.

The Table Topics Master told us of the composer's early life in Vienna.

The Table Topics Master told the SECOND speaker to open her envelope. She did so and started preparing a talk on Berlin.

The FIRST speaker gave his speech on Viennaz

while the SECOND speaker was preparing.

The Table Topics Master told us about the composer's time in Berlin, and before asking the second speaker to speak, told the THIRD speaker to start preparing. And so it went.

At the end, we had to guess the composer's name.

Submitted by Eric l

Unusual objects Edit

The Table Topics master brought unusual implements and tools from around the house.

Everyasdfasdfse is.

After the speech, the club could guess what the implement really was. Submitted by Sue.

Twenty Questions Edit

The Table Topics master chose five subjects.

Then he played 20 questions with the club until they finally deduced what the subject was.

At that point, the designated speaker had to stand up and give a talk for 1 to 2 minutes about the subject.

The subjects were things like: Encyclopedia Brittanica; Camembert cheese; the Internal Combustion Engine; Winter; and (of course) Toastmasters International. (This does take rather longer than 15 minutes so is good for a meeting that is short on prepared speaking. Submitted by Eric)

Plan a vacation Edit

Prepare cards with transportation options (car, motor home, airplane, balloon, etc) and cards with your budget ($5000, $100, just won the lottery, etc). Each participant takes a transportation and budget card and describes their vacation.

Stop time Edit

If you could stop time for an hour, what would you do with that hour? (Submitted by Bob Brentin, Midland 2399, Tuesday Talkers 5652) ..

Celebrity dry cleaners Edit

We had one envelope with a bunch of celebrity names, and another envelope with some ordinary service occupations.

The speaker picked a name and an occupation, and then had to explain why they would recommend that person to do the job, as if they were referring him to a friend or as if they were a job reference.

Oprah Winfrey would be an excellent beautician because she loves to talk about.

Tom Cruise would be a great pool man because.

Michael Jordan is a great gardener because he can.

(Submitted by Doug Hirt, President, Allmerica Articulates, #9114/62)

15 minutes of fame Edit

Everyone wears one of those old style cheap Zorro/Halloween/Party masks and (now that no one knows who you really are) :) becomes a famous person in history i.e. Lincoln, Washington, King etc.

Give them topics like. Tell me President Washington, How did you motivate the troops to cross the Delaware that cold wintery night? etc.

(Submitted by Mike Gerrick - Youngstown Executive Toastmasters 408)

What completes the pattern 2 4 6 8 .

What has four sides, and it's the same sides?

What shapes are round and which ones are round and wide?

What shape has eight sides?

What do you swing on?

What slows you down, so you won't get hurt?

What animal waddles?

What shape is eight sides minus five?

Is the number 18 even or odd?

In the park there are 2 dogs, 3 birds, and one kitten. How many legs do the animals have?

Needy Nudists Edit

Once people become aware that you are a Toastmaster, you will find that you will get requests to speak on behalf of other organizations. Would you demonstrate such skill by giving us a fund raising solicitation for the Needy Nudist Network.

(Submitted by Bill Dobson - D40 Webmaster

Faking it Edit

One of the newer TV shows is called Faking It. In this show, contestants pretend they are in radically different careers for a week and try to fool a panel of judges. You have been selected for the show and your new career is going to be a Haitian Voodoo witch doctor. How are you going to prepare for this role?

(Submitted by Bill Dobson - D40 Webmaster)s is called faking tiOPne Edit

Musical notes Edit

One of my all time favorites (and it can be varied each time) is to take several 30 seconds cuts of various musical pieces and tape them. When you play a cut from the tape, ask the participant to explain what thoughts the music brings to them (i.e. theme from The Godfather, Vivaldi's "Spring," Little Richard's "Good Golly Ms Mollie," Pavarotti singing an aria, or The Barney Song) Really makes no difference about the music, it all brings some thoughts to the presenter. I have Doo Whop, Opera, Country, Frank Sinatra, TV Themes, etc. Takes a little time to prepare but can be used over and over again.

(Submitted by Ronald J. Bower - DTM, Club 3478, District 37)

(Some of these tips originally appeared on http://regionvi.62toast.com/tabletopics.html) -- 09:35, 15 Sep 2005 (UTC)

Witnesses for the Prosecution Edit

This is a pre-trial hearing into an inquiry into the circumstances surrounding the death of Mrs. Liz Perri, Managing Director of Perri, Perri, and Stench, President of Perri's Awful Fashions. I a the Honorable Mr. Aubrey Derrick presiding.

On November 27th between the hours of 7:00 PM and 7.30 PM, Mrs. Liz Perri was murdered by person or persons unknown. Her body was found on the landing outside the church by Toastmasters arriving for the meeting at 7:15 PM

Those of you who were given envelopes are suspects and you will need to clear yourself by implicating another speaker in your defense. At your time to speak you will open your envelope revealing the method of murder.

Mrs. Perri's body had suffered various injuries as listed below:

She had been stabbed with an intricately carved Arabian dagger

A red silk dressing gown cord had been used to garrote (Strangle) her.

She had been shot with a small caliber bullet used in a Baby Browning automatic pistol.

The bolt from a crossbow protruded from between her shoulders.

Sundry chest wounds had been made by a Japanese Samurai sword found near the body.

A post mortem investigation revealed that she had recently ingested a lethal dose of arsenic contained in 7Kg of peanuts of the type used as snacks in Toastmasters meetings.

Her lungs contained water and his clothing was saturated

Her skull had been crushed by a bloodstained rock found near the doorway

Photo prompts Edit

From Brian Christiansen Print out the following page: http://puzzlephotos.blogspot.com/ (the pictures come out about , sometimes 2, to a page) and use the pictures as the prompts for the table topics. The speaker can either tell what the particular item is or bluff about it.

Predictions Edit

Print out a bunch of Nostradamus's quatrains, give one to whoever is chosen to speak, and have them be clever and thus tell us what the prophecy means.

Round Robin Story Edit

One person starts a story. The second speaker has to continue the story and so on, until all the speakers are done.

This is a departure from the regular table topics routine, where everyone attending the session gets to participate. The TTM acts as conductor and may intervene when needed. A topic is started, then carried forward by the audience one by one. The aim is to try to pick up where the previous speaker left off rather than speaking on the same topic. The audience may rearrange themselves in a circle for this round, or the Table Topics master may decide how to go about it. Time limits can also be decided as such. (Usually with larger numbers the time limit is brought down). In this round, it should be left to the guests and first timers to decide for themselves whether to be part of the Round Robin session, or just observe. They may change their seats accordingly.

One variation of this session is to have an ongoing story wherein everybody chips in a bit and takes the story forward. With shorter time per speaker, it's possible to have 2 or more consecutive rounds. In more extreme versions, each speaker could be allowed just a sentence or a limited number of words. If not time or word-dependent, the TTM may decide when to pass it on, or the next speaker may make a signal like a clap and start off if the current speaker flounders.

The timer is, of course, at odds in this round - sometimes the Timer is relieved of duties and the Table Topics master doubles up as timer.

Round Robin Edit

Especially useful when the topicmaster doesn't show up: everybody thinks of one question. The first person asks a question, that person answers it and asks a question of the next person and so forth until the last person asks their question to the person who started it..

Fun Geography Edit

Print out flags from some obscure countries. The speaker has to talk about the country for 2 minutes. The topic masters adds some real fun facts about each country.

This can be done with the names of geographical features - mountains, lakes, rivers. Get really obscure ones and had people tell which they were and discuss the location. (Submitted by Joy).

Childhood smells Edit

A recent Table Topic at our club was one of the best we've ever seen - our member handed out small plastic containers with cotton wool soaked in a scent - dettol, perfume, etc. and asked the participants what memories this scent evoked. One member said the dettol reminded him of boot camp!

A really worthwhile Table Topics and well worth a try.

Dream Wedding Edit

In one meeting, our table topics master gave us a funny scenario to describe our big day. When I was chosen, I told everyone a thief had snatched our wedding chest filled with treasures. I would snap a photo of him and his car then call the police. My Speechcraft supervisor described how he went headfirst into his friends wedding cake, how embarrassing! If you are planning to wed in the future, I hope it's romantic and memorable.

Olympic torch Edit

In one meeting, held the week when the Olympic torch was to past through our city, our table topics master created a paper/cardboard Olympic torch. In place of the flames, paper "flames" were made containing different subjects about the Olympics. These ranged from the economic impact the Games would have on our city to why frog jumping should be an Olympic sport.

Beach party Edit

Our next meeting was a "beach party." It ranged from name tags made out of paper in the shape and artwork of watermelon, Beach Boys music being played before and after the meeting and beach paraphernalia ranging from beach towels, balls and water guns spread across the whole room.

For the Table Topics, the Table Topics Master used the beach materials in the room as well as sea shells with subject labels ranging from surfing to nude beach colonies.

Well, these are two great ideas we have used. Hope this helps someone.

James Ellisor TechOraters

Activism Edit

One time, I used some threads from a few newsgroups - the clean ones :-) I read a posted messsage, a response post, then asked the hapless speaker to assume the role of the first person and answer the reponse.

I don't remember the exact topics - one was about censoring the Internet. The ".activism" groups offer a wealth of interesting discussions. Maybe the recent discussion here on DTM requirements would prove to be stimulating.Jane

Fortune Cookies Edit

One idea someone else suggested during a discussion from a recent officer training I attended was to have the speaker pick a fortune cookie and use the "fortune" as the topic to talk about. Afterwards the speaker can eat the cookie!

Gift exchange Edit

We have a kind of gift exchange. A member picks a wrapped gift from under the 'tree' (last time it was a couch), or steals one from another member. Then the member has to explain why he (she) thinks this is the most wonderful gift in the world.

John Fleming, CTM

Colour me pink! Edit

On small slips of paper write out some unusual or very descriptive colors (day-glo orange, pea green, flamingo pink etc), make a list of questions along the lines of:

Tell us why you plan to paint your house this color Explain why all your clothes this summer will be in this color Tell the person to your right why he/she should buy a car in this color.

Ask a Table Topics respondent to pick a slip and ask them the next question on the list. You never know what you'll get.

Hint: It helps to call on someone who is known to have a wild imagination for the first response. After that people will get the idea that anything goes on this theme!

Chris Copeland, ATM

Just three minutes Edit

Our Area Governor last year introduced our club to "Just 3 Minutes" to fill in time before the contest winner was announced. I'm not sure of the origins of this game. Perhaps other Toastmasters know and can also share interesting and entertaining fillers for when the judges are "out".

Just three minutes sounds alot like a BBC radio program called "Just a Minute". You can find out more about it here[1].

Rules for Just 3 Minutes Edit

Two teams of three players are pitted against each other. The topic which they are to talk about is chosen by the Just 3 Minutes Master.

The team which is the first to speak is chosen by lot. The teams shall nominate the first, second and third speaker. Teams continue to use this order until the time has been used up.

The winner of the contest is the team which is still speaking when the allotted three minutes has run out.

The team which is NOT speaking can challenge the speaker for various faults. When a challenge has been made by a team member, the clock will be stopped until the challenge is adjudicated by the J3M-Master. If the challenge is successful, the next speaker for the challenging team takes over the subject; otherwise, the challenged team continues.

Hesitations - ums and ahs, etc

Pauses - which are too long or too frequent

Repetitions - of words of phrases

Tautologies - saying of the same thing using different words - such as 'myself' or 'Next, following 'that' or 'The reason why. '

Changing the topic - including not speaking closely enough to the topic.

If a player challenges unsuccessfully 6 times, that player cannot speak or challenge again, and the other members must continue without them.

We had a lot of fun with Just 3 minutes. At times I stopped dead when I realised I had repeated myself and was waiting for a challenge!

Thematic Questions Edit

In Rooster Rousers, the Toastmaster picks a theme the week before, and the Table Topic Master simply tosses out questions that relate to the theme.

So, to invent an example, if the Toastmaster chose the Edmonton Transit System as a theme, all table topic questions would relate to the public transportation system in Edmonton, i.e., a typical question might be 'What would you do to improve the Sunday bus service?'

The number of times a request for table topics ideas is an indication to me that a large number of clubs do not approach table topics the same way that we at Rooster Rousers do.

John Fleming, CTM back to top back to Resources home page

Identify this Picture Edit

Cut pictures from the newspaper or magazines. Have the table topics respondent come up and pick one and tell the club what is happening in the picture. (Of course, no captions are attached to the pictures.)

Norma Whetzel EPA and Galloping Governors Toastmasters back to top back to Resources home page

Unusual Objects Edit

Table topics respondents are given an unusual object and asked to tell everyone what it is and how it is used. As an alternate, they might be asked to sell the object to the club.

Have an object in a bag that the respondent has to feel and describe to the club. The club then guesses what was described. Alternatively, the respondent may look at the object before descibing it.

That's MY Favorite Quote Edit

One of my favorites is to have slips of paper with a saying or quote. The respondent has to explain what the saying or quote means to him.

Dear Abby Edit

Give each person a "Dear Abby" question and have them give their advice. These could made up by the Table Topics Master or real ones clipped from the advice columns.

Norma Whetzel back to top back to Resources home page

Book Swap Edit

Have a book swap. Have members bring a book that they "sell" to the rest of the club by telling them why they like the book. After all members have had their chance. Each member bargains for the book that her or she liked best from the explanation. Everyone gets a chance to speak and to get a new book.

Norma Whetzel back to top back to Resources home page

Auction Edit

Hold an auction. Have each member bring a "white elephant" from home to sell or come prepared to offer a service. Each member auctions off his or her item/service. This raises money for the club, as well as serving as a fun table topics session.

Norma Whetzel back to top back to Resources home page

Check the Catalog Edit

Toastmasters has table topics materials in the catalog, including 2 sets of questions/materials for table topics. You might want to check it out.

Norma Whetzel back to top back to Resources home page

That's not my Birthplace! Edit

If there are people in your club born in different areas (and/or different countries), try this: "What do people think they know about your birthplace that isn't true?"

Dan Goodman back to top back to Resources home page

Time Traveler Edit

"Suppose you could go back in time and talk to yourself at the age of ten. What advice would you give yourself?"

Dan Goodman back to top back to Resources home page

Editorial Opinions Edit

Read a paragraph from different letters to the editor of your local paper and have the members respond with their opinions.

We have a theme for each of our meetings, so one technique is simply to start thinking about the theme as soon as you arrive at the meeting.

Introduce Me Edit

We had been having trouble doing proper introductions of speakers: they were getting so boring.

So I asked the Table Topics Master to make up enough topics for the entire club and write each one on a card. I did an educational session on introductions and had each person write information about herself on a card. Then the Table Topics Master handed out her table topics, and each person passed her card with her bio information to the person on her right. Then, in turn, each person introduced the person to her left and her table topic, using the cards.

Everyone got a turn to give a table topic and to introduce another person.

(WordSupply) back to top back to Resources home page

Twenty Questions Edit

I ran a twenty-questions table topics session on Monday. Went down really well. I chose five "answers" - A Pen, A cellular telephone, Encyclopaedia Britannica, a computer, Information Technology.

I put each answer into a separate envelope marked 1 to 5.

I asked the first speaker to open his envelope.

Then we played 20 questions.

When the meeting guessed the answer in the envelope, the speaker had to give an impromptu on the topic.

The topic was thematic, in that Information Technology is the concept that ties the four previous items together.

How to play 20 questions:

Elect a questionmaster (the TT master) The Questionmaster (QM) has in his/her mind, a word or more than one word. The QM tells the meeting how many words are in his mind. Also tells meeting whether it's animal, vegetable or mineral or abstract, and if the words contain the definite or indefnite article. The meeting may confer with each other, and ask questions of the QM. The QM only answers yes or no. The meeting has 20 questions to guess the object. Example:

The pen: mineral, two words, contains the definite article.

Encylopaedia Britannica: two words, abstract or vegetable and mineral. (the paper is vegetable, the ink, mineral).

Information Technology: Abstract, two words.

Erich Viedge back to top back to Resources home page

Fortune Cookies Edit

A couple of ideas we've tried in our club which went over quite well.

The Tabletopics master has each participant pick out a fortune cookie out of a jar, and provide an impromptu response on the fortune they selected.

What's my Definition? Edit

The Tabletopics master provides each participant with a very obscure (but actual) word from the dictionary, and the participant comes up with a convincing definition.

Win, Lose or Draw Edit

Another Table Topic approach I like is a variation of Win, Lose, or Draw.

Write a down a thing, idea, phrase, or whatever for each of your table topics questions. Call up one person, show them the thing and give them one minute (or less) to try to draw something that represents that thing.

Then call a second person to speak for 1 to 2 minutes on what was drawn (they don't know what the thing you wrote down was).

If you wish you can have the audience guess what the thing was. This is a fun way to add a twist on to Table Topics.

Victor Peters Terrapin Toastmasters

Show Appreciation Edit

Our club meets at a nursing home that does not charge us anything for the room rental. To show our appreciation to the nursing home, we occasionally collect money from our members for a donation. For example, last Christmas season, the club held two "auctions". Members brought in an item from home - baked goods, small toys, handcrafted gifts, or whatever - and as part of table topics each member who brought things gave a pitch for their item. Then other members bid on the items and the money collected was donated to the nursing home.

This was a great way to collect money and show our appreciation - and it was gave a fun twist to a couple of meetings.

Nancie Ryan Business Oriented Toastmasters back to top back to Resources home page

Group Story Edit

We had a situation today where the Topicmaster didn't show. I suggested we try a group story.We started at one end of the room and progressed to the other end. It was a lot of fun. If you ever get stuck, give it a try.

Rick Davis ATM Cincinnati NIOSH Toastmasters back to top back to Resources home page

Zen and the Art of Table Topics Edit

The Topics Master at our last meeting introduced some Zen-like topics, i.e. What is the difference between a stream, a creek and a river? Why is the deer on the deer-crossing sign along the highway always facing left? (And the all-time favorite) What is the significance of life? Why are we here? Our club had great fun with these.

Sillamint back to top back to Resources home page

Grab Box Edit

My club has recently done a few unique table topics, and here they are.

The first one came from the Toastmaster Magazine. A member brought in a box of about 15 items. When each person was called on to do their topic, they chose an item, and gave their topic about the item.

How's Your Sales Technique? Edit

One of our newer members came up with a really fun idea. She started by telling us she was in charge of Marketing at a new corporation, and was hiring sales people. She asked everyone called upon to demonstrate their sales techniques, and 'sell' the product to the audience. She then handed them an envelope with an item in it. A few of the items were a pocket knife, a needle threader, and a 'Great Job' pin.

Techniques for Table Topics Edit

At another meeting, we tied the table topic in with the educational program. The educational program was about how to answer table topics by either rewording the question, not answering the question but asking your own, or taking the opposite side than you were asked. Each person who did table topics after this portion had to do one of the above. It was a great learning experience for everyone, and opened our eyes to new ways of answering table topics.

Sharon Last Word Toastmasters back to top back to Resources home page

Word Play Edit

Write words on small pieces of paper. Have each speaker pick four pieces of paper and make up a story using all 4 words. (You can also require using the "word of the day".) Variations of the word are ok (If the word is "microscope", then "microscopic" may be used in the strory).

Dave Schneider back to top back to Resources home page

Food Ideas Edit

Most memorable meal

Favorite food

Least favorite food

Strangest food ever eaten

Worst meal

Strangest place ever eaten

Make those Introductions Edit

Spend a minute or so reviewing basic introductions. Then bring up each speaker and have them pull an object out of a bag, and have them introduce what they have extracted. (Vegetables work well. "It's MR. CARROT. Please introduce Mr. Carrot as our next speaker." Not only do people get practice with introductions, but they get to take home a part of a salad.)

Gesturing Edit

One person speaks and another stands next to the speaker and performs all gestures. Working on street repair. The joy of dancing. Wrestling a bear at the State Fair. Demonstrating Tupperware. Rock Climbing.

Would you live here? Edit

Discuss a weird place to live and defend the place as a nice place to live.

Next to a nuclear power plant.

In a swamp.

Bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Top of the Matterhorn.

Use questions only while telling a story Edit

Describe your first job interview.

Your best vacation.

The three little pigs.

Goldilocks and the three bears.

Washington crossing the Delaware.

Alphabet soup Edit

Start each sentence with a word that begins with a specific letter (first "a", then "b", etc.), then next person says sentence with next letter. Apples are my favorite fruit. Bananas are better. Can you believe what we are talking about? Don't you think it would be better if we spoke about Politics?

Truth or Dare Edit

Everyone writes down a secret about themselves that no one knows about. Each speaker takes one of the notes, reads it, and states who they think wrote the note and why.

Archaeology for beginners Edit

Put everyday stuff into a bag and let each speaker select an item to discuss. However, the year is 2525 and the speaker is an archeologist. They will explain their opinion as to what the item was back in the 20th. century and how it was used.

Miss this movie Edit

The speaker picks a really bad movie they have seen. They then must persuade the audience to see it.

I had lunch with Queen Elizabeth Edit

Each speaker tells about a time (real or imagined, but preferably real) when they ran into a celebrity.

Dr Phil and Oprah Edit

Check out the TV listings to see what the current topics are on OPRAH or PHIL. Each speaker discusses the topic.

Magazine pictures Edit

Interesting pictures are selected from magazines. Each speaker picks one at random and discusses what is going on in the picture. eg. A man is sitting at a desk reading, while another person is looking out the window.

Variation #1: Have the volunteer explain why this person would be a good candidate for a toastmasters member and how they would go about convincing them to join.

Variation #2: Choose pictures of plates of food and have member explain why it's their favorite meal of all time.

Fortune Cookies Edit

Each speaker picks a cookie, reads the message, and discusses how it applies to them.

Weekly world news Edit

Take interesting articles from the weekly tabloids (Weekly World News is especially good). Each speaker is required to discuss and/or defend and/or explain the amazing things reported (Man finds green glob in closet. and it eats his dog)!

You won't believe this, but Edit

Each speaker is required to tell an amazing story about themselves. The members then vote for each speaker as having told the truth or not. The speaker who fooled the most people either way, wins topics.

What have you done this time? Edit

Bring a camcorder to the meeting and pick members at random. Have each stand up, and, under the glare of the camera lights, grill the member about the "terrible" thing he or she did. Interview each member for 1 minute, then play back the tape.

The world's best job Edit

Have each member write down on a piece of paper, the job that they would consider the best job in the world for them. Then pass the papers to the person on the left. Call on members to stand and explain why the job on the paper in front of them is the best job in the world. Or the worst

The perfect education Edit

List a number of educational classes on a board. Each speaker picks one of the classes and explains why that class is the most important class to take to round out an education. Once used, the class is "removed" from the board.

Awards Edit

Make a list of "accomplishments" (best underwater basketweaver, best nuclear power plant designer, best TV remote control switcher, etc.) and print them on pieces of paper. A speaker selects the award and must "award" it to another member. That member must get up and "accept" the award.

TV commercial Edit

Collect some products off the grocery shelf or hardware store. Each TT speaker selects one of the items out of a bag and has to do a TV commercial on that product.

Instant toast Edit

We're all toastmasters. Select an appropriate setting for each speaker, then let them make an appropriate toast for the occasion. eg. You're at your high school reunion. You are asked to give a toast to one of your favorite teachers who is now deceased. You are at a political meeting in town. A visiting US Senator from your party is at the meeting and you are asked to make a toast to the Senator. Your next door neighbors are celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary. You are asked to make a toast to them.

The Impromptu Murders Edit

Each person would be given one line and would have to weave a story from it. Here are a dozen different story lines to use:

It was a dark and stormy night as lightning flashed through the window pane.

When the guests heard the noise they stumbled down the hallway only to discover.

The police arrived and asked everyone to.

Fearing for my own safety I told the Police, "I couldn't have done it because I. "

Seeing that now was the right time, the butler stepped forward and declared.

Old Mrs. Marple didn't think anyone knew about her relationship with the deceased. * I then stood up and told the group.

Gasping for breath and holding her throat, the maid stumbled into the drawing room.

It was then that the front door burst open and who should step in but.

"No!", I cried. "It was I who did it, for you see the dead man was my. "

Surprising everyone, the dead man picked himself up off of the floor, looked around at the gathering and said.

Just when all had felt the mystery solved, the light went out.

The policeman then stepped forward and announced to the guests, with a big smile on his face.

Famous Valentines Edit

The meeting closest to Valentines Day: The Topics Master brought red carnations. Pairs of people were asked to participate instead of individuals. The first man was asked to play the role of Ceasar and give the carnation to 'Cleopatra' along with a suitable declaration of love. 'Cleopatra' then had to reciprocate and present a carnation to him. Other pairs were 3rd graders who constantly tormented each other, but secretly liked each other. A couple just celebrating their 50th valentines day together, a father to his very young daughter, etc. Dave Schneider

Campfire stories Edit

Another meeting, the Topics Master asked everyone to sit on the floor in the center of the room, or on chairs brought to the center. All the lights were turned off and a flashlight was used to simulate a campfire. The Topics Master gave the titles and particpants told campfire stories. Dave Schneider

Close this! Edit

Presumably to get practice at closings, participants were asked to give the closing of a speech, briefly described by the Topics Master. Dave Schneider

We had an interesting time with a table topic based on those little round disks called "POGS". I picked out several of them with distinctive pictures, and said that each participant would be from a planet or country with a distinctive coinage. They were to tell us the story about why that particular image was inscribed on the coin. ( ie. famous character in history, notable landmark, etc.) Dave Schneider

Deal with it Edit

We usually tie our table topics to the evening's theme. Last week our clubs theme was "Dealing with it." I pasted situations on the back of playing cards which ended with the phrase "Deal with it." For example: You enter a room and reach in to turn on the light switch. Suddenly your arm is grabbed by a six fingered furry hand which you realize isn't human. Deal with it. Dave Schneider

The X Files Edit

This week our theme was the "X Files" We had to discuss a scenario which was "bizzare"

For example: God has an infomercial on channel one.

Instant Art Critic Edit

Once I gave each person a sheet of paper on which children had drawn weird pictures. Toastmasters were One Minute Art Critics and had to discuss the significance of the work.

Bag of Pennies Edit

One of our good Table Topics was bringing in a bag of pennies and you had to talk about something that happened in the year that was stamped on the penny, or something you were doing during that year. Lots of fun.

Jeopardy Edit

Make a display board with pockets representing the money categories for a jeopardy game. Label each pocket with the money value ie, $100, $200, $300. In each pocket place a table topics question. At the top of the category place a general theme for the column. All participants are "winners". Award them each with a mini $100,000 candy bar.

Noah's Ark Edit

Noah is trying to pick the animal that will take the last two seats on the ark. Pick an animal from a bag and without identifying the animal to the group, try to convince the Table Topics Master (ie. "NOAH") that you - and your spouse - deserve the last two spots. Some suggested animals:

bear

armadillo

mouse

hippopatamus

rattlesnake

sloth

kangaroo

orangutan

Roving Reporter Edit

The table topics master can act as a news anchor calling on toastmasters who act as on-the-spot reporters or as the man-on-the-street reacting to a news item. This is fun if you look for strange headlines or morph some normal ones. For instance, Toastmaster John Doe, you are on the spot at Interstate XYZ where a tractor trailor truck full of quarters has just overturned and is spilling out onto the highway. Give us your eye-witness report.

A variation would be to pick historical or catastrophic events from the past or even potential future events and get their reactions and eye-witness reports to these.

Hopes & Dreams Edit

Volunteers talk about a specific resolution they had made last year. What resolutions did you make last year and did you follow through on them ? What will resolutions will you make this year ?

What Were You Doing When. Edit

Ask volunteers to talk about what their lives and what they were doing when a significant historical event happened. Some examples:

What were you doing when John F. Kennedy was shot ?

What were you doing when the first man walked on the moon ?

What were you doing during 9/11 ?

What were you doing during when the worst natural disaster you've experienced hit?

Buy My Product Edit

Volunteers to come up to the podium and randomly pick a product out of a paper back or look at a picture of a product that has been cut out and mounted on a card. Ask them to introduce it as a new product that they are bringing to the market place. Explain why the audience will want to purchase it.

One Table Topics Master brought in a bag of chocolate bars that had been re-labeled with new names. Club members had a great time creating marketing spiels for their "new product" and got a treat to take home with them afterwards. There was no lack of volunteers!

Thought-provoking Questions Edit

Ask thought-provoking questions.

Think back to your childhood.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Who was the person that had the most impact on your life?

Who was the most important person in our life?

Or consider history.

Who was the most important person in history?

What figure in history has made the most significant contribution to mankind?

I want that Parachute ! Edit

You are in a plane that is struggling with engine trouble and it's obvious that it's about to go down. Unfortunately, there is only one parachute on board. Your task is to convince the other passengers to give you the parachute. Good luck—there may be some very famous or important people on board.

41.246.219.193 11:56, 17 February 2009 (UTC)Jasper

That's my job Edit

What are essential qualities you need for a certain job position? Explain what they are and tell us why it's the perfect job for you.

Some example jobs:

Spokesperson of an important political party

Taxi Driver

Being in Charge of a Tender Board in a government department

Commercial Pilot

Trolley Car Operator

Stewardess

Cashier at Walmart

(Variation: If you really want some fun, think of really weird, off-the-wall jobs titles.)

Ruler of the World Edit

Humans are not the only species on our planet. Why shouldn't another species become dominant and rule the world? Explain why the following animals should be the next world rulers.

Charity Ball Edit

Last night you met a famous person at a charity ball. Describe your first meeting (imaginary) with someone famous:

a sports figure

Bill Gates

Charlie Chaplin

Garfield

Isaac Newton

Spiderman

Albert Einstein

Michael Jackson

Mike Tyson

Ronald Reagan

Plausible Explanation Edit

Ask volunteers to come up and give plausible explanations and definitions for the meaning of odd-sounding words. Some examples: gound, twee, ort, absquatulate, Floccinaucinihilipilification, pandiculation, jillick, bogglybigglyboo, bumpf, eesome.

Philosophy of Life Edit

Give volunteers the name of a cartoon character and then ask them to tell you about their philosophy of life.

Nobel Prize Edit

As volunteers to explain why they should win the Nobel prize for . patience, sense of humor, creativity, innovative thinking, tap dancing, window washing, parenthood, courage, genius IQ, serenity, magnetic personality, leadership skills, calm in a crisis, witty retorts / pickup lines, speechwriting, etc.

That's News to Me Edit

Pick your favorite historical character and pretend that you are him/her come back to life and talk about how you feel about modern times or some recent news headline.

Magical Moments Edit

There was a huge flash of light and a crashing sound in the backyard. When you went to investigate, you find a very hot piece of multi-colored stone in a small crater . after it cools down, you put it in your pocket and as you carry it around with you, you discover that it gives you magical powers. Describe how you came to realize that you suddenly could . see through solid objects, walk through walls, become invisible, leap fantastic distances, make things disappear, run faster than a locomotive, hear what animals are thinking, make things levitate, wish yourself to specific locations, freeze everyone with a snap of your fingers, see into the future, make anyone tell the truth.

My Best Seller Edit

Have volunteers draw out different Book titles and talk about the book they have just written and which is coming out in print tomorrow. Some examples of some book genres and possible titles:

Romance - Love in the afternoon and evening

Self-Help - Ten easy ways to get rich

Home and Garden: Quick recipes for people who can't cook

Fix-it: How to do darn near anything

The best places to shop

Horror: The thing that crawled out of my bathtub

Mystery: Did the dryer really eat my socks ?

Children's Classic: The little red BMW

Fiction: The richest man in babylon

Animal Stories: 101 Gerbils

Encyclopedia: Grafitti

Poetry: By Humphrey Bogart

Funky Fortune Edit

Your great uncle that you didn't even know existed died and is leaving his entire multi-million-dollar estate to the family member heir that convinces the executor of his estate that they would be the most appropriate guardian for his beloved . pet gorilla, giraffe, porcupine, 20 ft pink flamingo statue, green 1977 volkswagen with pink polka dots, alien wax museum, collection of top hats, church steeples, collection of liberty bell replicas, vacation home in Siberia, his stuffed bat collection.

A Day In the Life. Edit

Imagine that you are anyone you like!

Imagine that you are the family pet. Describe yourself and/or your family on a typical day. Try one of these: Parakeet, cat, dog, chicken, lizard, snake, pot-bellied pig, bullfrog, turtle, horse, goat, ferret, mice, hamster.

Occupations e.g. Ice-cream man, baby, your boss, your enemy

Crisis Line Edit

You work for a crisis line. What advice would you give to the person who called with the following question? (Think of a variety of questions that caller's might ask - choose a mix of serious and funny questions for variety.)

Speak your Mind Edit

You are about to take a trip and they overbooked the flight and have to bump you on a another one. So as a courtesy to make up for it, the airline upgrades your ticket to first class. You get on the airplane and find yourself seated, cocktail in hand, next to a famous person with the perfect opportunity to speak your mind. What would you say ?

Bill Gates

Bill Clinton

Madonna

Mike Tyson

Alec Baldwin

Saddam Hussein

Alan Greenspan

Teddy Kennedy

Sandra Day O'Connor

Tony Blair

Prince Charles

Martha Stewart

Bart Simpson

George W. Bush.

Fidel Castro

Ariel Sharon

Osama bin Laden

Amazing Stories Edit

Have speaker tell an amazing story about themselves. Members then vote on whether or not each speaker has told the truth or not. The speaker who fooled the most people either way, wins.

Fun and Questions Edit

Give volunteers some unusual tasks. Some examples:

You just got stopped for speeding. See if you can talk your way out of a ticket..

Explain why frog jumping should be an Olympic sport.

Mystery Edit

Announce that one of the members has had jewelry stolen from the second floor bedroom of their mansion. Call the first participant and give them a role to play. Ask each to defend themselves and then draw a role for the next person and call someone else up at random.

The gardener

The butler

The TV Repairman

The housekeeper

The plumber

The pizza delivery boy/girl

The night watchman

The visiting professor

The mother-in-law

Dual Role Play Edit

Call two volunteers up to the lectern at once and assign them each a different role. Then give them an imaginary situation and have them pretend to have a telephone conversation about it. For example, one person can be a school principal and the other a parent calling about a child's bad grade.

Have the each participant call up a replacement for themselves for the next role play.

essay writing service cheapest Edit

Provide a list of funny "world records" and have each volunteer draw one and explain how they came to be the world record holder in this area.

Murder She Wrote Edit

Provide a very general description of a murder and have participants explain how they committed it without getting caught.

Life-changing Experiences Edit

Explain that Toastmasters can have a major impact on a person's life. Ask each participant an interview question about this participation in Toastmasters. For example:

Toastmaster A, why have you remained a member for 32 years ?

Toastmaster B, what do you like best about Toastmasters ?

Toastmaster C, tells us about your worst speaking experience ?

Toastmaster D, tell us how Toastmaster's has benefitted you in your job ?

Toastmaster E, tell us why you visited your first Toastmaster's meeting and why you joined it afterwards?

Embarrassing Situations Edit

Provide a list of embarrassing situations and have volunteers draw one and explain how they would handle it.

A Little Word Fun Edit

List four random, unrelated and very different WORDS on each slip of paper and then ask participants to draw one slip of paper and tell a story using the four words they chose.

Unusual Phrases Edit

I used the following four unsual phrases and asked the Talkers to incorporate tem into their speech.

It was on the third day that the heat became so intense that the camels were suffering from heat exhaustion.

If I knew beforehand it was going to rain so heavily I would never have bothered.

It didn't matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get all the monkeys off the bus.

I just could not understand why there was a Chinese man on the roof.

Would you work with a Saxophonist or a Violinist? Edit

Your company has expanded and your boss wants to hire an additional person to do exactly your job, alongside you. Three resumes show exactly the same level of qualification; all are amateur musicians. They differ only in their chosen musical instrument:

one plays Violin

one plays Saxophone

one sings

Which one is best suited to do your job?

Charade Edit

Have folks play a game of silence charade in the Table Topics round in the spirit of working on gestures and facial communication. Put together a list of 20-25 words. Give each person 5 words. The time to get through a stack of 5 words can be from 30secs to 2mins. Have the rest of the club try to guess the word. Use words such as: baseball, dribble, swim, confusion, happy, surprise, phone, etc.

Toastmasters Funniest Home Videos Edit

Have Toastmasters come up and tell about their funniest or most embarrassing moment as if they were describing an America's Funniest Home Video clip.

Book of quotes Edit

Each participants selects a number between 1 and 339 and that is a page in the book "Don't Forget to Sing in the Lifeboats" by Kathry and Ross Petras, a collection of intersting quotes. Works with many other books of lists as well.

Save unused table topics questions for emergencies Edit

After the meeting, if there are questions the topic master prepared but didn't use, the secretary or Sergeant at Arms of the club can collect them and save them for emergency situations when the assigned topicmaster is unavailable. For this to work the questions must be complete enough to be used as is.

Debate Edit

Two speakers are called out simultaneously and they have to decide among themselves, to take opposing stands on one topic given. It's advised to first give around a minute to both sides to present their points, followed by 30 second rebuttals. (Lesser time per rebuttal if more rebuttals wanted) Who goes first can be decided the TT Master or from a flip of coin. The TTM should take care to be sensitive on choice of topic so that there's equal speaking room on both sides of the argument. And the debate shouldn't descend to chaos or get personal or too polarized or rhetorical. But hey, this is just a table topics round!

In voting for the best speakers, it may be decided to vote for the individual speakers, or for the pairs that spoke.

One idea to prevent conflict or hard feelings between the opposing speakers is to make them switch sides in their closing statements and point out where they agreed with the opposite person ;)

Turncoat Edit

In this round, one speaker debates with himself/herself. A topic is given, and the speaker has to adopt one side of the argument. At a certain time or at the whim of the TTM, the speaker must immediately switch sides. A bell or other such sound device may be used. This can be very entertaining if the speaker is able to effectively change sides mid-sentence. This round isn't advised for novices, however!

Typically, a minute of unhindered speaking could be allowed at start to allow the speaker to get into the topic, and the time after that may be thrown open to turncoats as per the TTM. Alternately, time could be given at the end for the speaker to sum up and take a final stance without being pinged by the TTM.

Word Jumble Edit

Instead of full-fledged topics, the TTM can keep several chits having a simple word each. The table topics speaker has to choose 2, or more (speaker's choice, or TTM decides) chits, and give a table topic speech that involves these words. We can have Challenge slots wherein an advanced speaker may be invited to take up 4 or more chits and string a speech from the disparate words.

This round involves very little brainwork on the part of the TTM, so highly rated as a face-saver for a hastily assigned TTM role!

Candidate For office Edit

The TTM tells the group; "You are campaigning for a new office. Tell us your position on the relevant key issues, and why we should vote for you. Also provide us with your campaign slogan." Some sample offices are:

Mayor of Whoville

Foreign Minister to the Animal Kingdom

Planning Committee Member for Procrastinators International

Student Body Treasurer at Beverly Hills High School

Bored Supervisor for the Inanely Mundane Club

Chief Bottle Washer

President of the Society of Disinterested Youth

Vice-President of the committee to Eliminate Presidential Vice

Chairman of the Anarchists International sub-Committee for Establishing Organizational Rules and By-laws.

Murder Mystery with a Twist Edit

The TTM tells the group that a Mr. John Doe attended last week's meeting, but because his suit was the same color as the wall, nobody noticed him for 2 hours. Mr. John Doe was murdered immediately after the meeting and every Toastmaster except for the TTM is a suspect. All of the Crown's (or State's) evidence is based on the what the Toastmaster did at the previous meeting and they have to stand up and explain the evidence, confess or throw someone else under the bus. At the end of Table Topics, members vote for the best speaker and who they think the murderer is. For example:

The humorist's joke was so funny, the coroner says that he may have died laughing.

The grammarian's word of day was so difficult, Mr. Doe may have died of a twisted tongue.

Somebody took a photograph or used a cell phone during the meeting and Mr. Doe's pacemaker malfunctioned.

The timer turned the lights on and off so many times, it triggered an epileptic fit.

Mr. Doe may have died of the shame of not being noticed by anyone and it was the duty of the VP of Membership to greet and welcome all visitors.

Mr. Doe may have died because a speech topic was so upsetting.

The TTM can make up additional stories about members that were absent the previous week.

Charles Kennedy - Rose City Toastmasters

The Toasty Awards Edit

This Table Topics can become a popular annual event around Oscar time. I bought a cheap microphone at the dollar store and put on a polyester leisure suit from the Goodwill store and transformed myself into Chuck Winkandnod, interviewer of the stars. I pretended I was on the red carpet at the Toasty awards honoring the talented Toastmasters that were starring in the latest Hollywood blockbusters. Before the meeting, I asked a fellow member to take a picture with a flash every time I said the phrase "The paparazzi are going nuts". As each member is called to the front, I make up a tabloid story about them being romantically linked to an actor or actress in the news e.g. TMZ recently showed a video of you canoodling with Sandra Bullock at the back of a restaurant. Before the member can talk about the rumour, I ask them to talk about their latest project. What kind of movie is it, who are the co-stars, was the film violent or controversial, etc.

Charles Kennedy - Rose City Toastmasters

The Lost Art of Complaining Edit

After being a Toastmaster for a while and giving evaluations with tons of positive feedback, we become conditioned to sound encouraging and supportive which is great, BUT we lose a very important skill along the way. It is complaining!

For this Table Topics session we will revitalize our ability to effectively complain!

Pick a number 1 – 10 for your topic to complain about.

Note: Listening to people complain about things is quite entertaining and should bring some laughs!

1. A spider crawls across your living room floor.

2. You find a $20 bill at the grocery store.

3. You are waiting in line to get gas.

4. You get a blender for your birthday.

5. While waiting in line at Starbucks, a child takes the last 3 sample brownies.

6. You find a scratch on your car.

7. Someone cuts you off while driving.

8. The seat is left up on the toilet.

9. Your boss gives you a new project.

10. Someone spreads a rumor that you are insensitive.

John Bridge, DTM, TM2 T-Mobile Toastmasters #5137, Bellevue, WA.

S Sales Topics

Pick Random objects and have someone sell it. This one was inspired by The Wolf of Wall Street in the scene where he said sell me this pen. You can have them talk about colors, options, varieties and how it can be used. The whole object of sales is to get people out of their comfort zone, and this will certainly do that.

Pen, Car, Table, Couch, Pot, Computer, Watch, Flower, Television, Shampoo

example: Pen - This pen will certainly be of great use to you for signing any of your important documents and should be in your pocket or pocketbook. It can come with red, blue, black or even green ink, yes even green ink! We have many different models that can come in a wide variety of colors and even finishes. It can be dull, chrome, steel, black, red or any color option we can think of. I was at the bank yesterday making a deposit (I love deposits) and I realized I had no pen to sign my deposits, that's never a good situation to be in. I definitely could have used this lovely pen that I'm sharing with all of you today. Everybody needs a good pen and this one certainly can fit that bill for all of you here today.

You get the idea I think

Matt Victoria, Toastmasters club #6847, Edison, NJ.