#why did they do him like that?? AND THEY DIDNT LET HIM OUT FOR LR??

[moonilit]

Bro Im not getting XQ new skin it’s exactly his old one there is no point

[corvidae-00]

Tsudere /sub touch starved Jax in heat that pretends to hate the reader but does things to secretly be with them x a fem happy but smart Uzadere that loves being in the circus.She loves adventures,animals,cute things,fighting,food ect! lots of energy too but can be pretty insensitive and a little selfish with a little crush on jax. I feel like at first jax would completely reject liking her then he would be extra mean,then Maybe subconsciously know he likes her amd hates the feeling lol. cus he copes by trying to not have feelings and tries to act "tough". its pretty obvious that the reader is in love with him but his dumb ass cant catch on . She gives lots of compliments which makes him flustered and mad ( he is mad bc he thinks nobody likes him that much, he is mean to her to make her go away but it doesn't work ) but he pretends not to care. the reader would definitely confesses first tho. Sorry for such a long request its just that not many people write jax in this sorta way so i had to be detailed lol. also if you don't wanna use female pronouns you can make it non gender ofc 😅tysm for even reading such a long thing! and you don't have to do this at all lr you can switch it up. Anything is VERY appreciated tho😊 also i feel like max would be a massive virgin due to how annoying he is...he definitely a horny bitchless rabbit-

AHHHH! MY FIRST ASK ;0; Thank you!!! And i personally LOvE Jax- like its an issue 0-0 but im so happy to write for him first! your request is amazing and i truly love it! i hope i did it justice!!! i hope you dont mind HCs! if you did want a story just hit me back up in the answer box and ill write a lil something for ya! ;)

MDNI BELOW THE CUT+ Warnings: Smutty smut themes, bottom Jax <3- Cussing, swearing, the norm

The Reader definitely brought light to the Circus, when she first appeared she was the TALK OF THE TENT, everyone was happy to finally have someone around to liven up the place- > besides jax- the little shit made it his sole duty to make sure Reader was the punchline of his jokes or somehow always "in his way" and the Reader often got the butt of the assult. > Jax being Jax when the feelings for reader started to arise- he got scared- a little worried- upset even. More at himself than you but still pretty pissy- this just made the tourment wose oh lord- > Reader found this fun, more ways to annoy and poke and proad at Jax, finding his constant target on the Reader absolutely hilarious > Reader always calling the oblivious rabbit pet names!!! *Toots, Fluff butt, Shnookums (Only because it pissed Jax off and everyone would laugh), babes, Etc Etc, > Jax STILL oblivious to the reader ;0; taking it as her teasing him and pushing him and oh no we cant have that!!!! Jax haaates it. Secretly likes it HATES IT- >Despite the tension between the two Jax would often threaten Caine or sneak the other circus members things of value to be around reader. not knowing why- HE IS MADLY IN LOOOVE he wanted to be around Reader!! SMUT >Jax in heat is something i dont think even he saw coming- like they are digital code- BUT DAMN- > Stuck in his room alone humping a pillow and pulling his ears over his face embarrassed beyond belief at his own actions > Reader was coming to annoy Jax concerned why she didnt see him at breakfast (His favorite meal of the day may i add- >Knocking on his door reader had a shit eating grin "Sleeping in pookie?" She calls through the door only a groan and a loud huff was the response she got >Thats rude. Reader thinks and just assuming he is having one of his man period days- Reader enters his room- and boy is the sight she sees amazing- Jax face down and ass up with a pillow under his hips, face flushed a deep purple and his overalls down to his waist- > Reader and Jax are just staring at eachother with wide eyes >"G-GET OUT!!" "Nah i dont think i will" >Lets just say reader helps the little bunny get the relief he was so looking for- >They dont argue as much anymore-

----------------------------------------------------- THANK YOU FOR READING!!! I hope you enjoyed your request and it was too your liking! im still getting back into writing so its a slow process!! let me know what you think!!! thank you so much!!! <3333

[deathsusanstohelit]

some nie huaisang thoughts bc i love him. warnings: i’m coming late to the party, i’ve only watched cql once and just read the novel so i prob missed something, i watched cql first so i’m a little biased since he got more screentime/explanation there, sorry for the lack of sources this is rambly and i didnt have the energy to pull quotes/episode citations, etc etc 

TD;LR: is nhs a perfect mastermind? nah. does he do morally questionable stuff? yeah. is he intentionally trying to hurt people (except jgy)? only kinda? do we know his plan/his goals/how did he stuff? not really.... 

so a list of things that we know nhs did: (mostly cql but taking some novel canon too) 

potentially work with mxy to bring wwx back

plant nmj’s arm/baxia’s ghost in the mo manor

encourage rumors about sword hall to draw in wwx and lwj when they came by with the arm/baxia 

find and (send someone to?) rescue sisi 

find bicao and encourage her to talk to Qin Su/other sects 

send the letter to jgy 

find the guanyin temple and take meng shi and nmj’s head from it 

put together nmj’s body and release it/put it in the temple

harm himself to get nmj/others to attack su she and jgy 

trick lxc into hurting jgy 

things nhs might have done: 

release the fairy statue (cql only)

kill cats to guide the juniors to yi city (heavily implied to be him in the novel) 

Thoughts re: Mo Xuanyu 

first: i feel like hunxi-guilai said it better but we don’t shit about him? was he mentally ill? probably, the novel suggests so, but we only rlly know it bc other people call him crazy. was he gay? novel says so but it says so bc he ‘harassed jgy’ which is also something jgy might have encouraged in order to kick mxy out of lanling. how close were jgy and mxy? enough that people could spread these rumors and that mxy was able to see wwx’s manuscripts that talked about the ritual he used to bring wwx back. what did nhs do with mxy? who knows! 

ive seen post that said that nhs pushed/encouraged mxy to sacrifice himself but honestly, mxy’s desire for revenge felt to me like his own decision/something that existed w/out encouragement. i honestly think nhs was treating mxy like sisi or bicao, another witness to jgy’s schemes that could be pulled for later, with the idea of bringing back wwx a potential bonus but not guaranteed. if mxy was already planning to bring wwx back, than all nhs had to do was not stop him. (this is all just personal interpretation but since we know so little about mxy than i dont see why it cant be true)

which brings me to the mo family. honestly i don’t think that nhs was relying on wwx to expose out jgy/find nmj (he’d been building a case against jgy for a decade! all he needed was more hard evidence of jgy fucking up). i think he was trying to get lwj to investigate (and wwx was just a bonus). see: nhs is in the same inn/dining hall as the gusulan juniors in that second scene in episode one. nhs knows that the mo manor would reach out to the lan sect, goes to mo manor to monitor the situation and releases the arm once lan sect people are there to control it (p sure that the juniors were just there to deal with the walking corpses? which nhs could have helped draw out but arent esp dangerous). when finding a difficult spirit like baxia/nmj’s arm surprisingly, who are the juniors going to call? lan wangji, aka the guy who has become known for showing up in all kinds of complicated situations while emulating/looking for wwx. (esp in cql where baxia has been corrupted by the stygian tiger amulet, which is a good way to get lan wangji to explore it). if lwj is investigating, if wwx comes back than he’ll have help, if not than these questionable things (and the disappearance of nmj) will be brought to the attention of the lan sect (including lxc who is probably one of the largest obstacles to getting people to question jgy). 

so nhs is willing to let people at mo manor’s get hurt but he waits until the juniors are there to really let anything happen, and mostly seems to be trying to get the attention of lan wangji without outing himself to jgy as against him. (bc nhs’s whole cover relies on people not suspecting him) 

on the fairy statue: it does bother me that (in cql) nhs possibly released the staute to start hurting people again. im guessing he did it to also get proof that mxy went through with the ritual? in the novel, wwx and lwj never encountered the statue before the timeskip so no one had to wake it up, it did it on its own. maybe the statue just re-woke on its own in cql? honestly its not clear but it does kinda suck that nhs might have let it out for... no much? 

on yi city: in the novel, its implied nhs led the juniors to the city (which meant that he knew that xue yang was there i guess?) and wwx implies that nhs was willing to let them bc xy/corpses in order to have more to pin on jgy. this one is complicated. all i have to say is that whoever led the juniors there also seemed to know that wwx and lwj were going there - having the juniors there provides more witnesses to xue yang doing bad shit and wwx and lwj can clearly protect them. (in cql verse, i honestly am not sure if nhs led the juniors there or if xue yang himself did, xy did want wwx to try to fix xxc, and might have lured the juniors there in order to have hostages to convince him to do it?) 

as for qin su’s suicide, honestly on the way that she was acting in cql and jgy’s (kinda over the top?) reaction, i always suspected that jgy had done something to encourage her to hurt herself. i mean he wanted her out of the way (was going to send her to stay with her dad) but if he couldn’t get rid of her in a less obvious way, i dont think encouraging her to hurt herself (with evil music?) would be beyond jgy at all. also i dont think either bicao or nhs expected qin su to react like that (at the very least bc nhs was trying to build a case against jgy and so wouldn’t want her gone when she could provide a useful perspective) 

sending the letter to jgy: honestly, while nhs knew that jgy would do something to react to that, i honestly don’t nhs expected jgy to try to kill them all - i mean nhs almost immediately starts trying to help wwx help them/figure out what happened in the burials mounds so he took advantage of the moment but yeah. i dont think nhs would have showed up if he expected jgy to do that 

on meng shi (jgy’s mom, original body in the temple) and nmj’s body: its super fucked up that its implied in the book that nhs messed with meng shi’s corpse for revenge, like gross nhs. glad that got taken out of cql. 

for nmj: putting him in the coffin is honestly so much more dramatic (thanks cql). in both adapations nhs releases something dangerous (nmj’s body looking for revenge or baxia’s ghost) that wen ning than has to fight. not sure if nhs meant to just completely drop those without supervision though (remember that su she did capture him, even if nhs probably did intentionally let himself get captured). i think nhs figured that nmj/baxia would go straight for the temple but nhs definitely did just kinda decide to just handwave other causalities. still at this point, jgy did just try to murder all of the sect leaders and a bunch of disciples so it’s kinda understandable that nhs would be willing to let baxia/nmj go to go find jgy because if they don’t deal with jgy, who knows what else jgy might pull for revenge. might be a case of weighing the potential havoc that nmj/baxia could cause versus the sheer slaughter that jgy was pulling to perpetuate (as well as personal revenge on jgy of course) 

tricking lxc: hmmm not much to say except yeah that was a dick move nhs. to be fair, i think nhs would have pulled the same shit on anyone (with a sword) to came to help him and turn their back on jgy. lxc had just told jgy that he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt jgy if needed and nhs just took advantage. but he would have done it if say lwj came to help him too. it was a cruel move but honestly jgy would have kept trying to get out of shit so i get it... and nhs had tried to get nmj to come kill jgy just a bit before, if they had just let it happen...

in summary: i dont think nhs was being as cold-hearted/manipulative as some fans think he was. he definitely was willing to let people get hurt in the crossfire (the mos, releasing nmj/baxia in yunping, yi city, fairy statue) although its hard to tell for sure if he was the one causing some of the dangerous situations (fairy statue, yi city). both the novel and cql implied that he did something bad for questionable reasons (maybe doing something to meng shi’s corpse, the fairy statue) but at other times in both versions nhs seems to be trying to prevent people from getting hurt or help mitigate the consequences of his provocations of jgy (nhs in koi tower and the burial mounds being a distraction and trying to help figure out what happened).

 nhs’s plan seemed to be drag jgy’s reputation to the dirt and then let nmj kill his murderer. thus, nhs seemed to be trying to protect his informants (sisi, bicao, maybe even letting the mos get killed so that mxy stops being abused?). wwx coming back feels like something that got rid of one of nhs’s informants but provided nhs with another potential ally that he knows will help expose jgy so pros and cons for nhs’s plans. if you noticed timing wise, nhs doesnt send a letter to jgy/have bicao tell qin su stuff until wwx and lwj have already started putting together what jgy did. nhs only provoked jgy and started more directly putting people (the clans) at risk when he knew there was a more of a case to pull on (they’d found most of nmj at this point and exposed xy). so most of the finale, nhs is pulling more risky moves because he finally can do something and have some support 

like the one post said, nhs isnt a mastermind with everything planning out. he’s throwing rocks at hornets nets and then trying to figure out how to deal with the fall out. if he plays his hand too strong, up until the very end, jgy can still wreck all his plans and take over again... 

after all that, i love him anyway so uhhh time to be a nie huaisang apologist i guess 

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

That Girl Will Never Be Mine (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I always feels Tae is a possesive lover too. I always feel that because he is so good looking and also an incredible person, he (or people) might think that he will get whoever he likes but I think he will somehow fall in love with a girl who didnt fall for him at first sight like most and had to actually work to get her. So, I love your idea of "shes so beautiful, she has a lot of suitors" because a little competition andd a jealous tae? Well, that sounds like a plotline to me ❤ and I am sorry if this is not my best work

Also,this is inspired by this  drabble with the same title. You can read the drabble here first or just continue reading this story 💜

MASTERLIST

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here and you are in no way obligated to do it but if any of you like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

Taehyung waves off to the screaming fans one last time before the stage recline down, hiding all seven members from the crowd, his face etches from smiling.

"Good job guys! Another successful show, I am proud of you," Namjoon patted each of their backs and ruffles Jungkook's hair before bowing and thanking the rest of the staff, crew and their team for another successful concert in their tour. The other six members, including Taehyung did the same and retreats back to the dressing room, slumping hinself on the chair. Taehyung took out his phone as the others starts chit chatting, discussing about whether they should take a shower now of wait until they are back in their hotel room while some are already removing their makeup and changing out of their stage outfits. Taehyung glanced at his phone.

Of course.

Dozens of texts and misscalls, hundreds of notifications, but none from that one person that he actually want to hear from.

None from Y/N.

Taehyung lets out a frustrated sigh as he scrolls emotionlessly through the texts.

"Oh wow, hyung got a lot of booty calls," Jungkook laughs as he reads Taehyung's text over his shoulder. "Baby, call me after your concert. Taetae, my room number is 801, Tae, remember me?" Jungkook read the texts in a girly voice, mimicking the flocks of girls who left the texts.

"Shut up brat," Taehyung roll his eyes and tossed the phone on the dressing table.

"Why are you so grumpy? Maybe you should take on one of those invitation then, to ease up a little hyung," Jungkook laughs and went over to his station.

"No thanks. Not interested,"

"Kookie, you should know by now Tae is only interested in girls who is not interested in him," Namjoon laughs out loud. Taehyung glares at the leader through the mirror.

Fine, make fun of him. He dont care.

"Why is it so hard to even reply to any of my texts? I left her multiple before we started the show!" Taehyung grumble.

"Shes just not interested in you Tae. Wake up already!" Jimin chimes in. "Dont you ever think that you didnt see her because shes practically hiding from you? Shes not interested, move on already,"

"She might not be now, but I'll make sure she will be mine soon enough," Taehyung greeted his teeth with determination.

"We just finished a good show. A bunch of girls just passed out because you look their way and Y/N is the first thing you can think about?"

"Shes always what I'm thinking about Chim! I dont care how many girls want me, all I want is her. Urghh, what is it about me that she hates so much anyway?" Taehyung leans towards the mirror and examine himself. Why wont Y/N like him? What is he lacking? "Thats it, I'm calling her!"

"Suit yourself. We all know theres no point in stopping you anyway," Jimin shrugged and walks away.

Taehyung immediately reached out for his phone that he tossed earlier and press speed dial number one.

Mine ❤

After a few rings, Y/N picks up. Well, she kind of have to. They are friends. Its not weird for her to answer his calls  Although Taehyung wants nothing more than to be more than friends ever since he met her that first day BigHit sent him and Jimin to their new highschool. Just a shy, absolutely beautiful, art student. Taehyung who was usually easy going and friendly suddenly turned tounge tied when hes around her, but someway, some how, he managed to be friends and the two of them and a few other friends become a whole group of besties. That was way back, and what Taehyung hope to only be a highschool crush develop into a full on feeling of in love.

Kim Taehyung is in love with Y/N, and its either she didnt know it or pretended that she doesnt.

"Hello? Y/N?" The line was noisy on the other side. Is she outside? If she does, with who? Not with men right? Why didnt she tell him shes going out? He texted her all the time to tell her what hes doing. Eating, praticiting, shooting, recording, everything!

"Tae? Taehyung! Hiiii! I thought you are busy on tour! Why are you calling?" Y/N's voice sounded chirpy, and it immediately melts his heart. All thoughts of anger melted away. Thats how big of an impact Y/N has on him.

"The concert just finished..." he grins. Baby. Urghh he wanted so bad to say those words to her, to call her that, but he knows he cant. Y/N only sees him as a friend. For now. "Didnt you read any of my texts?" he questioned out loud, wandering why didnt be received any reply from her.

"Oh sorry Tae. I'm outside with the gang and I didnt expect you to call, or text me, since you are on tour and all," Y/N giggles. "Oh my god, you should have seen Jae hyun! What he did was so funny! He-"

"Why is it so noisy? Iant it late at night there? Are you at a bar? Are you out drinking? Since when do you even drink?! When are you coming home?" Taehyung cuts her off, not interested to know about Jae Hyun or any other guy for that matter, especially one that is making her laugh. He should be the only one who makes her laugh!

"Well, the gang are. You know I dont drink Tae," Y/N giggles. "Why are you calling?"

Her question turn Taehyung's mood turned sour immediately. Here he is, missing her like crazy even in the middle of tour, in the mjddle of a super busy schedule and she dont even bother to read his text on the account of being outside having fun with some guy? Sure, Jae Hyun is one of his bestfriends too. In fact, he is sure Y/N is hanging out with their usual gang, but its not fair how they are outside living their normal life with Y/N and he is here, stuck performing. He wants to go out with Y/N too!

Yeah, people say hes lucky. To be debuting, to have a great career and awesome brothers as his band members and sure, Taehyung is happy and grateful too. But if only Y/N is his, then his life would be perfect. Y/N and him used to be the closest duo in their group but all that changes after he debuted. Packed, busy schedules take his time away from his friends, and Y/N and little by little they drifted apart, and now, with his packed schedule all year round, he dont know if he can recreate the closeness between him and Y/N again. Oh, how he wished his longing and feelings for her dissapeared just like their closeness.

Its true what Jungkook said. He can have his pick from the various girls in his phonebook, but none of them can even come close to how Y/N makes him feel.

"I'm just calling my best friend. Is that wrong?" Taehyung snapped. "If that best friend bothered to checked and replied my texts, hundreds of them, I wouldnt have to call now would I?"

"Tae... I'm sorry. I really didnt noticed, and I was just asking," Y/N's sighed sadly. "Why are you angry at me? Please dont be ang-"

"Just forget it! Have fun with the boys!" Taehyung angrily hangs up the call, huffing.

He knows he shouldnt be mad. Heck, he has no right to be mad, they are friends, and Y/N is not obligated to reply lr answer his calls if she didnt want to, but thats how it always is. He got angry when he thinks about how she is fine without him. He gets mad when he thinks about every second shes with someone else and not him. He didnt talk to any of his friends for a month once when Y/N has a boyfriend for two weeks before.

Afterall, he is Kim Taehyung. Theres nothing he hates more than what he cant have. and right now, thats Y/N.

/////

Y/N sighed and slipped her phone back in her bag.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Her best friend giggles, knowing how uncomfortable Y/N will be when she calls Taehyung that.

"He is not my boyfriend!" Y/N denies quickly. "But yes, its Taehyung,"

"I really dont get you Y/N. Kim Taehyung wants you. The Kim Taehyung! And you rejects him? Boy, you are really something else," her friend shakes her head. "The best friend turned idol slash international superstar and still madly in love with the best friend from high school only happens in fan fictions Y/N, and yet here you are. Happening right to you, and you rejected him? What is so wrong with Taehyung anyway?" She looks straight into Y/N's eyes trying to find and answer. When she find none, she shrugs. "Just, I dont know, think about it okay? Maybe its not such a bad idea, to be with him,"

"What are you even talking about? Taehyung is my best friend. Our, best friend," Y/N looks at her in disbelief. All of them hangs out together since they were teenagers doing homework together, its not possible for Taehyung to likes her. Especially now when he practically owna the world. Most of their friends had said that Taehyung harbour feelings for her, but that couldnt be true right? They are just friends. Have been for a long time even before Taehyung debuted. Sure, he was a trainee when they met and Y/N enjoyed being his friend. Sure, they were the closest duo before, maube Taehyung is a bit fond of her rather thab the others, but in love? Y/N chuckle to herself. It cant be.

She cant deny that Taehyung is really good looking, funny, charming, attractive and owns all the others positive things about him. and at one point in their friendship, she did have a crush on him. The two of them were so close when they first met. They did everything together, they are the typical high school bestfriends that are inselarable. But after Taehyung debuted.. well, thats when things starts to change for them. Is it his busy schedule or is it his changing attitude now that he is an idol that makes them drift apart, she cant tell, but one thing is for sure, the feelings she thinks she had before has dissapeared.

"Yeah, a friend. To us, not to you Y/N. I am pretty sure he wants to be more than that," Soo Young grins.

"No he doesnt! You know Tae is nice! He treat all his friends nicely," Y/N shrieks, but she knows its no point. They jabe had this argument a million times before.

"He is nice but I dont see hundreds of text from him in my inbox. Or sudden anger when I hang with a bunch of guys," she smirks. "Just face it will ya? Kim Taehyung loves you, and definitely more than just a friend,"

"Stop it Soo Young, he does not!" Y/N tries to deny it, but looking at the text Taehyung just sent her, Y/N got a feeling that somehow maybe her friend is right.

I'm sorry for snapping at you Y/N. I am just tired with tour and I miss you. I miss you very much and it just.. you know.. affect my mood. I'll call you early tomorrow morning okay?

Xoxo, Tae

/////

Taehyung woke up early the next morning, which is unusual for him, especially the morning after a full blown concert. But sleep is not an option when all he can think about is Y/N and how he unnecessarily snapped at her last night. Granted, he did this so many times already. His jealousy always takes over and he always ended up snapping at her, which leave him with a big sense of regret later.  But he just cant control himself. Taehyung just wants Y/N all for himself.

Sure, he sent her a text saying sorry. And he waited for hours for her reply. Just a simple OK would do, but none. Y/N didnt reply anything. Is she that mad at him? Did his jealousy finally blew his relationship, if there was even any, over?

Taehyung sighed and ran his hand through his hair before reaching up for his phone.

1 new message.

With excitement and sheer hope, Taehyung quickly click it open, hoping and praying that it would be Y/N.

And sure it is, there, the name he waited so all night to grace his screen appeared.

Mine ❤

Even better, it wasnt just a text, but a photo. A photo of her beautiful face smiling at the camera, which looks like shes inside a plane, with a ticket held up covering half her face, showing the destination. Taehyung scrolled down to read the caption, heart racing.

Sorry Taetae, I fell asleep lastnight the moment I got home. Me and the gang are on our way to you ❤ we are attending your tour! Surprise! See you in a few hours.

Is this reall happening? Shes not angry at him. She coming to see him!

Y/N is coming to see him perform! Taehyung grins widely to himself, letting out a deep chuckle without realizing. He has never felt this happy in his whole life.

Y/N is coming to see him! Nevermind that shes coming with the whole gang, that part was long forgotten by Taehyung already. This is finally going to be the best tour ever!

/////

"Hey Tae, I think your schoolnates are here. They managed to pushed through and be at the front," Hoseok turns back to Taehyung after peeking through the curtain from the backstage. Its minutes to their concert for that night, at the crowd is packed, expected of another sold out concert, but Taehyung cant seems to stop talking about how his "gang" from school is coming tonight, so Hoseok cant resist but to give it a peak.

"Hobi, I think you got it wrong. Tae doesnt care about his friends. What matters is, is Y/N there?" Namjoon chuckles as Taehyung gives him a glare.

"Yah, I care about both my friends and Y/N hyung. Okay fine, I care about Y/N a little more," he grins. "Is she there Hobi-hyung?"

"Cant see really clearly, but I think so, yes Tae," Hoseok rolls his eyes. All of the boys knows what Y/N looks like by now. Well, they should, with how much Taehyung talks about her, showing her pictures to them. "This is going to be the best show you will ever give dont you Kim Taehyung?" Hoseok smirks.

"What are you even talking about?" Taehyung shrugs, feigning ignorance. "I always give my best performance hyung,"

"Yeah?" Hoseok looks at the younger man, who is grinning from ear to ear and laughs. "If you say so Tae. But I can tell tonight is going to be better," he chuckles.

Its obvious to everyone, Kim Taehyung is absolutely whipped by his own classmate. A girl who he will never get.

/////

Taehyung felt giddy all over. He cant wait to start. He have all this energy in him and he just cant stop smiling. This is the first time Y/N actually came and see him perform live. Sure, she and the gang has watched his performances on tape and videos before, but shes right here, in front of him, at the front row of his concert. There might be thousands filling up the stadium tonight, but Taehyung already knows that his eyes will only be seeing one person throughout the night.

/////

His eyes search the crowd the moment they entered the stage, followed by a huge roar of shouts and applause from the crowd. But nothing can distract him from locking his eyes on Y/N tonight. He expects to see her looking at him, smiling and waving, cheering him on, fueling his energy and passion more, but what did he see?

Y/N is not even looking at the stage.

In fact, shes busy talking, no, giggling, like a school girl in front of their crush with some guy who is standing beside her.

What the actual hell?

Taehyung is pretty sure he dont know him. He must be some random fan attending the concert. But why is he obviously flirting with his girl? Just like what he intended to do, Taehyung cant stop keeping his eyes of them, although its more glaring at the two of them rather than looking at Y/N now. And seriously, those two just wont stop laughing and talking. Why does this always happen? Why does she have to be so freaking beautiful? Attracting guys anywhere she went?! Taehyung growls to himself.

This is not a coffee shop for them to have a date! Its a damn concert.

So watch the damn concert already!

"Tae!" Namjoon hissed at him backstage as the 6 of them retrieve back to give space for Jungkook's solo. "What the hell is going on?"

"What do you mean hyung?" Taehyung sighed and plop down on one of the couches, gulping down a bottle of water  . He knows exactly what Namjoon is talking about, but there is no way he is going to admit that.

"Oh please, you know exactly what I am talking about. Keep your head in the show Tae. And stop screwing up!" Namjoon huffed and walked away. Taehyung sighed. He knows he should focus on the show, its only for two hours, but how can he when the girl of his dream is right in front of him, and shes not even looking at him?

Taehyung tried to concentrate for the rest of the show, but failed miserably. He missed a lot of the cheography, accidentally hit the other members on stage, causing them to stumble and even forget a few of the lyrics. All the while, glaring and shooting daggers at Y/N and the guy's direction. Sure, his fans thinks its cute and assume that its part of the performance, some even say Taehyung is giving off an angry vibe which is considered hot and sexy, but the other members knows better and by the end of the show, all of them shakes their head and shot him a look of dissapointment.

Taehyung sighed, dissapointed at himself for letting a girl mess with his head as he takes off his makeup and change out of his stage costumes.

"Taetaeeee! Your performance is amazing!"

Taehyung whipped his head around to see the girl that is haunting his life  smiling and beaming cheerfully at him. Shit, how can he forgot he invited her to backstage later. He even offered to take Y/N out for coffee after the show and send her home and why is it he suddenly feel his anger start to dissapear just from aeeing her face?

No, keep your ground Taehyung. She should know what she did!

"Really?" Taehyung snickered. "How can you know?"

"Huh? What do you mean Tae?" Y/N took a step forward and looks at him with confusion.

"You said my performance is great. How did you even know? You are so busy selling yourself to some guy you just met!" Taehyung is full of anger now that the image of the two of them flashes back into his mind.

"What? Taehyung. Why are you saying things like this? He is just a new f-"

"I dont want to hear it," Taehyung raised a hand to stop her. "Know what, just go home Y/N. Im tired and Im going to have some rest," Taehyung starts to pick up his bag and start to walk out but Y/N held back his hand.

"Tae, whats wrong? You said we can go out to coffee to catch up or something remember?"

"Do you think I'm in the mood to have coffee right now Y/N?!" Taehyung pulls backs his hand aggressively.  "Just go home! Ill see you later,"

"But Tae. I-"

"Just go. Bye," without listening to another word from Y/N, Taehyung walks out, slamming the door behind him, missing what Y/N said next.

"But Tae.. I have asked everyone else to go back and I have no way to go home now.." Y/N sighed and slowly makes her way out into the dark night, figuring her way back to her hotel and why Taehyung is acting that way.

/////

"Where are you going hyung?" Jungkook stretches on the couch and look at Taehyung whos wearing his jacket, ready to go out.

"I am having lunch with all my friends who came to the show last night. Ill be back before dinner. See you Kookie," Taehyung gives a small give, which is reciprocate by Jungkook and start the small walk towards the restaurant they had booked.

His mind starts to reel back to the night before. He immediately went to bed when he reached the hotel last night. When he wakes up today there was no message or misscall from Y/N. What does he expect? He is the one who rudely asks her to leave, she wouldnt be textiing him to ask him how he is doing. He should be the one doing that. Until when will he realized that he has no right to get jealous and even when he does, Y/N wont understand why.

Taehyung sighed.

Y/N's surprise and sad face from last night filled his mind again. Is he too mean? He picks up his pace, wanting to see her faster. She will be at the restaurant right? She wouldnt bailed on their group lunch just because shes mad at him.

Entering the restaurant, Taehyung spotted the long table filled with the familiar faces of his friends, laughing among one another. His eyes grazed each seat but Y/N is no where in sight.

"Oh Tae! Come on over!" One of his friends who noticed him spacing out at the door calls him in, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Theres our superstar! Good show yesterday," another slapped his back and motioned for him to sit. Taehyung gives out polite smiles before asking the question he dreadfully want the answer to.

"Wheres Y/N?"

"Y/N? Oh you didnt know? She has a high fever. she was caught up in the heavy rain last night," Soo Young answered and eyed him skeptically. "Arent you with her? I thought you two went for coffee?"

"Wait. Fever? Rain?" The question immediately went passed him. All he can think about is how Y/N is sick right now. "Arent you guys together? Why are you guys all okay?"

"Together?" Soo Young raised an eyebrow. "But she told us to go on home first to meet you backstage. She said you are taking her out to catch up and you are going to send her home?"

"What? She-"

"Are you telling me you let her went back alone? In the middle of the night? In a city she never been to before?" Jae Hyun interrupt from the other end of the table. Just the fact that Jae Hyun is concerned and also he himself is looking like a real jackass right now sets Taehyung on fire.

"Shut up. Just.. where is her hotel?"

"Why?" Jae Hyun glares. Taehyung ignores him and turns to Soo Young. After a few seconds of intimidating glare and Y/N's whereabouts in his hand, he quickly say goodbye and ran off in her direction.

Good job Kim Taehyung. Not only did you get angry at you dream girl for no reason at all. You snapped at her, insulted her,left her alone, and you even make her sick. Great, fucking job. Maybe the boys are right, Y/N will never be yours.

/////

"T-tae?" Y/N open her tired eyes to feel the wet cloth on her forehead only to be met with Taehyung's handsome face etched with worry, looking over her.

"Hey.. you are awake. How are you feeling?" He smile. A smile so beautiful that Y/N cant helped but smile back, although in her heart she is still deeply hurt by his action last night.

"Why are you here? How do you know where I am staying? Is this a dream?"

Taehyung laugh. Oh Y/N, how can anyone be this adorable?

"No, you are definitely not dreaming princess. I am here and I am going to nurse you back to health,"

"Okay, I am dreaming. You are calling me princess, thats weird," Y/N laughs. Taehyung realizes what he had slipped and give back a small smile.

"Just take a rest okay? Your temperature is going down, you will be better soon. I have also ordered you food. Ill feed you. Lets eat okay?" Taehyung helped her sits up and starts feeding her slowly. There is nothing he wont give to take care of Y/N like this every single day. Why cant she just let him?

"Thanks Tae. You really shouldnt have. You really are the best friend in the world," Y/N smiles as she keeps eating the food. Taehyung swallow the bitter truth and give her a small smile. Best friends. Of course, thats all he will ever be.

"Y-yeah of course. What are best friends for right?" He smile and swallow before uttering his next words. "Hey Y/N?"

"Yeah Tae?"

"I am really sorry about what I said to you last night. I dont have any right to get mad at you. And to leave you walking home alone? That is j-"

"Hey, dont worry about it Tae," Y/N smiles and patted his hand. "You must be tired and there I was yapping away aboit coffee and wanting to catch up," she giggles. "Sometimes I forgot that you are this huge world star now, always busy. You are no longer the same boy who is always around walking me home from school, buying ice cream on the way,"

Taehyung kept quiet. He didnt know why her words hurt him so much. Is that what she thinks of him all this while? That he has become too big to even hang out with his best friends? Is that why she is never interested in him, not at all?

"Y/N.. is that what you thought? All this while?" Taehyung look at her face, looking for answers.

"Well.. yeah. Isnt it? I mean, I know you are busy. Arent you?"

"Well, yes. But not-"

"Maybe someday when you finally have free time. Maybe 100 years from now," she giggles more at her own joke, " we can finally catch up. We can bring my children to an amusement park or something,"

Taehyung clenched his fist tight. He knows shes just joking around, but now he cant stop imagining Y/N happily married to some guy, with their kids running around. Oh hell no, he is never going to let that happen. Y/N is his, and he will make sure of it even if its the last thing he needs to do.

"Why wait a 100 hundred years then?" Taehyung flashed her his infamous smile.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you say, if your fever is better of course, that we go out to the amusement park tomorrow? Just us two? I heard they have a big one nearby. And we have an off day this whole week. So what say you?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.

Y/N looks at him and a smile alowly crept up her face.

"Its a date,"

/////

"You are going to a god damn amusement park Tae, why are you fussing with your clothes so much?!" Jimin huffed for the hundred time as Taehyung rumnage through their closet for the thousand times.

"Chim, I told you. She said it herself! Its a date. A freaking date! I need to look good! God why is everything so ugly?! We dont have time to shop for bew clothes. I an doomed!" Taehyung sighed and slumped down on his bed, buried by a pile of clothes, frustrated.

"I think Y/N only meant it as a matter of speaking..." Jimin mumbled, because he knows its no point explaining it to someone as love struck as Taehyung is right now anway. "Tae, you already look good in anything. Just pick whatever okay. And if she does like you, it wont matter what you wear anyway,"

"You are right Chim. Y/N is not that petty to judge someone by appearance anyway," he smiled at the thought of her.  "Shes just perfect,"

Jimin chuckles at his lovestruck friend and shake his head, pulling the blanket, ready to sleep. Taehyung can day dream all he wants, buried in the pile of clothes. Hes going to bed. Jimin was about to drift off to sleep when he last heard what Taehyung said.

"I am so in love with the perfect girl Chim. I just wish shes mine already,"

/////

"S-so which one do you want to ride first?" Taehyung stammered, nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. He is finally on a date with Y/N. An outing, just the two of them. Sure, Y/N might think this is only outing between friends, but who cares, its still a date to him, and she look so beautiful Taehyung cant think straight.

Shes dressed so casually in shorts and an oversized jumper, hair flying loose and looking so happy eating a cotton candy that she was so excited to buy the moment she saw it. And looking at all the other eyes staring at her, Taehyung knows that he is not the only one who thinks shes looking absolutely beautiful today.

Y/N has always been beautiful. That is one of her traits that caught his eye the first time he saw her in school.  But sometimes her beauty is too much that she attracts everyone wherever she goes, and that is not a good thing for Taehyung. Especially when he is so easily consumed with jealousy and he went crazy when he does.

Why? Why does she have to be so freaking beautiful?

"Lets do the teacup! Then we can ride the pirate ship anddd that huge rollercoaster!" Y/N points to all the rides while jumping excitedly. "Hey, you okay? Why are you stammering?"

"Uh... nothing. I am just uh.. scared of scary rides?" Taeahyung gives a crooked smile, hoping she would believe him. There is no way he going to admit why he is so nervous being around her. And come to think about it,  what he said is true. He is scared of scary rides, rides to his heart and its scary as hell.

"Dont worry. I will protect you!" She giggles and hold his hand. Taehyung almost fainted the moment they touched. God, keep yourself together Kim Taehyung! You are Kim freaking Taehyung! Heart, stop beating so fast. Its just hand holding. You held way more hands during fanmeets! "Lets go!" Y/N drags him to the long line of the teacup, where the staff handling the ride is oogling her with no shame. Taehyung clenched his hand, wanting nothing more than to scratch his eyes out.

"Wait here in line Tae, I'll ask him how long the wait is going to be," before Taehyung could stop her to approach the guy with the beady eyes who is still staring at her, Y/N is gone. Taehyung kept his eyes on them, watching as the guy smile and getting too friendly for his liking. What are they even talking about? Shes only supposed to ask how long the wait is!

Y/N suddenly waves at him excitedly to walk over and Taehyung came by.

"What is it?"

"This nice guy said he will let us cut the que. Isnt that nice?"

"Really now?" Taehyung looks at the guy up and down, who is looking back at him, smirking.

"Yes sir. You and your pretty girlfriend c-"

"Oh he is not my boyfriend! He is my best friend!" Y/N cuts him and Taehyung felt like his gut has been stabbed.

"Oh really now?" The guy raised an eyebrow. Taehyung swear he really feels like punching him now. "Well, then you can go on as many time as you want," he smiles and winks, offering hia hand to helped Y/N up the platform. Y/N laughed, totally oblivious of how every single guy is flirting with her, like always.

"Yeah. How can someone that handsome be with me right? Have you seen him?" Y/N laughs. "And thankyou, maybe I'll come back again if we have time after trying all the other rides," she bowed and enters the ride, sitting opposite from Taehyung. Taehyung smiles at her and ponders on her words.

Oh Y/N, if only you knew that you are the only one who owns this supposedly too handsome man's heart.

Taehyung's mood drop from extremely happy to worse than sour in a heartbeat. The same thing with the guy at the teacup ride happen all over again. And again. And again and keeps happening. Its as if the whole park is after his girl. Y/N gets to cuts all the line, gets free drinks, win a teddy that Taehyung tried so hard to win for her for free and the popcorn guy even gave her his number on the box. To make matters worse, she keeps denying they are in a relationship and keep stressing that they are just friends. Taehyung knows its true, they are not in a relationship, but must Y/N be so against it? Is being with him appalled her so bad?

Y/N was chattering happily, eating her free popcorn, talking about how everybody is so nice, not noticing Taehyung's sulky mood and how he is already consumed in jealousy when he saw someone he knew.

"Mia?"

Y/N looked up from her popcorn to see a beautiful young girl smiling and waving at Taehyung. She recognized her immediately. She is an idol too, must be Taehyung's work friend.

"Oh. Is that your friend? Let-"

"Mia, hi!" Taehyung immediately walked over to the girl, leaving Y/N behind. Well, Y/N has been flirting with everyone in the park with no regards to his feelings, maybe he would return the favor. Okay, he knows its not her fault, she dont even know the guys are flirting with her, but Taehyung knows he gets crazy easily when it comes to Y/N and jealousy, and this is one of the moment.

"Kim Taehyung! What are you doing here? Are you even allowed to wonder around an amusement park with this..." she looks at Y/N up and down with a disgusted look. "Person?"

"Oh uh hi. I-"

"Dont care," Mia shrugs and hold Taehyung's hand, dragging him away from Y/N as Y/N followed a few steps behind. "So I just finished a shoot here and my manager said I can spend the rest of the day enjoying the rides. Want to play with me?" Mia hugs his arms, leaning her head on his shoulder. Taehyung take a peek behind to look at Y/N. He wanted to pushed Mia away, tell her that hes spending the day with the girl of his dreams, but as he looks at Y/N, she is smiling at him, as if his close relationship with another girl doesnt effect her at all, and thats when he snapped.

He will always only be a best friend to Y/N. Nothing else, nothing more. Y/N will never be his.

And suddenly his heart is filled with jealousy and anger and the feeling of just... hurting her. To make her feel how he feel all this while.

"Yeah, sure Mia. Why not," he gives out his charming smile.

"Okay great! But what about... her?" She points to Y/N behind them.

"Oh her? No one special. She can follow us around," Taehyung shrugs and turns back. Y/N was surprised with his answer. Whats wrong with Taehyung now? Why is he behaving like last night again? Did she do anything wrong? Y/N decides to just follow them around for a while. Maybe they havent seen each other long, so they just want to catch up? Taehyung wont just ignore her for the rest of the day right?

Y/N's hopes dissapeared when hours passed and Taehyung didnt even talked or looked at her once. They didnt even ride the rides with her, taking a private car together, leaving her alone, riding with strangers. So much for an "amusement park date to catch up" Kim Taehyung.

Y/N sighed, but still follows them around.

Little by little, fans has started to gather as they realized that Taehyung and Mia are together, at an amusement park and at what look like a date. And soon enough, the crowd had gathered and followed them around to the point Taehyung's manager have to come. In the midst of the increasing crowd, Y/N being tiny and fragile got pushed by the fans who is trying to approached the couple and take photos before the moment is over, resulting in a scraped knees and bruises over her body. She tried to gets up and calls out for Taehyung, running behind them to catch up but was held back by the security.

"Sorry miss, please back off,"

"No. No. I am his friend. I was with him the whole day!" She points to the two celebrity.

"Yeah right, everybody said that," the security laughed and rolled his eyes. "You and these thousand other girls. Go home and study girl, stop chasing cleebrity around,"

"No. I am serious. He is my friend. Look, I have his jacket!" Y/N points to Taehyung's jacket that shes wearing. The one he gave her earlier because of the chilly evening air.

"Wait, are you a saseang?!" The security eyes her up and down.

"What?! Me? No! I am-"

The security ignored her and spoke into his walkie talkie and soon after a few more came and pushed her back.

"Miss, you have to stay about 1 kilometres away from Mr. Kim or legal actions will be taken against you. We dont tolerate saseangs,"

"But I am not.." Y/N sighed as she looks at Taehyung who is escorted away, not even looking back. "Nevermind. I'll back off," Y/N plop down at one of the benches and think about the way to go back to the hotel. Maybe she can just ask Jae Hyun for help.

"We heard what the security said," Y/N looks up to find a group of girls standing in front of her, circling her, hiding her from public sight. "You are a saseang arent you?"

"What? No! Its a misunderstanding. I am actually Tae's high school friend. I-"

"How dare you call him Tae you crazy stalker! Leave our oppa alone! He and his bandmates deserve some privacy you crazy bitch," the first girl shove her shoulder hard.

"No. Wait. I am not a-"

"Bitches like you deserve to die!" And before she can start defending herself the girls start shoving and hurting her, pulling her hair, slapping and punching her all over. Y/N is pretty sure they are the crazy one here.

Almost losing conciousness and bleeding all over, Y/N can only smirks to herself. I cant believe this is the way I will die. By being punch by Taehyung's fan.

/////

Who the hell is that guy?!

Taehyung paced around in his room. Before he was ushered back to the car by his manager at the theme park, he managed to sneak a look behind the crowding fans, and he saw, far away at the back some guy carrying Y/N bridal style. She is hugging his neck but Taehyung cant see her face or anything else.

Who is he?

Why is she letting him carry her like that?

And after what happen yesterday, Y/N is still not even a bit jealous?

Taehyung huffed and continue to pace around his room. His mind is going crazy. Y/N didnt contact him after nor did she reply to any of his texts and calls.

Maybe he really did it this time. Maybe Y/N is truly mad at him.

/////

Taehyung didnt see any of his friends after that anymore. They didnt answer his calls or his texts. They also didnt attend any of his shows anymore. Taehyung was confused. Is Y/N that mad at him for ditching her the other day? To the point she asks their friends to stop being friends with him? Doesnt that mean she has feelings for him then?

Taehyung needed answers, so he keeps on calling and texting. Plus, he misses Y/N lile crazy and he is starting to regret what he did the other day. After a few weeks of trying, Soo Young, fed up with his relentless effort in calling finally answered.

"What the hell so you want?!"

"Well, hello to you too. Is this how you talk to a friend?" Taehyung asks, confused on her behaviour.

"A friend?" She scoffed. "After what you did to Y/N, do you think you can call any of us friends again?!" So he was right. Y/N is pissed that he ditch her the other day.

"Wait. Just because I left Y/N at the amusement park you guys are not going to be friends with me anymore? Look, I know what I did was wrong. But I am s-"

"Left her at the amusement park? Its more like left her to die you asshole! And here I thought you actually love her!" Soo Young screamed out.

"Huh? D-die?" Taehyung stammered. what is she talking about?

"Y/N was in a freaking coma for a week because your crazy fans beat her up at the park you asshole! And you did freaking nothing to help! You think just because you are famous now you are better than your friends?! Just stop calling and stay the hell away from her!" Soo Young screamed at him but Taehyung is no longer listening as the phone he is holding dropped to the floor.

What has he done?

/////

Y/N opened her eyes to the smell of sterile and medicine, her eyes adjusting to the white walls around her. She tries to move but she cant, everything hurts.

Where is she?

The last thing she remembered after getting beat up is a guy's voice shouting at the girls who is assaulting her and carrying her before she passed out conpletely.

"Hey.. you are awake," Soo Young's voice spoke softly to her ear and her friends friendly face entered her vision.  Soo Young explained what happened. How she was in a coma for a week already, and how a stranger at a park save her and how they are all no longer friends with Taehyung.

Taehyung.

No matter how hard she tries, she cant figure out why Taehyung did what he did and Y/N finally give up in trying to figuring it out.

Y/N focuses on recovery, putting Taehyung to the far back of her mind. After a few weeks, her bruises and cuts got better but is still very much visible and she no longer needed a wheelchair, only crutches to walk. On a lazy weekend while watching her favorite drama and inhaling a carton of ice cream, a loud knock comes from the door. With her bad leg, she hopped to the door.

"Coming!"

Y/N opened the door to find Taehyung looking straight at her, a huge bouquet of flowers in hand.

"Y/N. I-"

Panicking, Y/N immediately slammed the door shut at his face, tears starts to stream down her face. She doesnt know why shes crying. But seeing Taehyung again, after everything that happens... it just bring out the emotions that she never knew she felt.

"Y/N?" Taehyung calls out softly, while knocking on the door. After a few minutes he realizes that Y/N is never going to open it, atleast not today, and decide to just say what he wanted to say from behind the door.

"Y/N? I know after what I did I dont even deserve to see you. And I know you hate me so much that you cant even bare to see my face. I know I am a few weeks too late but I came immediately after I found out. Y/N, I am sorry. I didnt know why I did what I did. And if I could turn back time I would, but I cant. I am sorry I ruined what could have been the happiest day for us and turned it into this... tragedy. I am really sorry. You dont know how badly I regretted everything. I will give up everything Y/N, just to take it back. I swear," Taehyung sighed. "I'm... I'm just going to leave this flowers here by the door. Its for you. And I will come back every single day. You dont have to see me. But I will come back and wait for you until you are ready. I am sorry Y/N," with that Y/N heard his footsteps slowly went away, leaving her alone with her tears.

And true enough, Taehyung came back every single day for the next few months. Y/N found out from the news that he skipped his tour just to do this. He must really be willing to do anything like he said. Everyday he will leave something for her. Flowers, cookies, teddies, books, anything and he will sits on the floor by the door and talk about his day and how sorry he is and how he misses her. And slowly, Y/N find herself waiting for his daily visits and the tears stopped, replaced by a smile and a few giggles.

After 4 months, Y/N decided to finally open the door and ask him one final question.

"Y-Y/N? You opened the door!" Taehyung smile, surprised and immediately hugs her. "S-sorry. I just miss you so much," he stares at her longingly, backing away.

"This doesnt mean I forgive you Tae,"

"Of course! Of course! But its progress! What do you want me to do Y/N? I'll do anything, even if it takes forever," Taehyung smiles and she knows he means it.

"Answer me this one question Tae. Answer me with honesty. No bullshit, no lies, no excuses, and I will decide if I want to forgive you,"

"Of course Y/N. What is it do you want to know? I'll answer anything. Anything at all,"

"Why?" Taehyung looks at her, confused. "Why are you always mad at me for no reason? Why are your mood always changing? Did I do something wrong? Do you hate me? Do you not want to be my friend anymore? Why?"

"Well... thats not one question," Taehyung chuckles.

"Taehyung..."

"Okay, okay. Kidding," Taehyung smiles and takes a deep breath. Its now or never. Its time to tell his dream girl, the truth.

"You want to know why? Its because of you Y/N. You are driving me crazy. from that first day I saw you in high school, I have been crazy about you, over you. I cant sleep, I cant think straight, I cant even be myself, all I can do is think about you and how to make you mine. How it feels if you are mine. If you love me back. I want you Y/N. I want to take care of you, to love you, to be the only face you think about every single day, to be the last face you see at night, the first face you see in the morning. Every single day I wonder, why cant I be that person for you? I love you L/N Y/N. I have been madly in love with you for years and I am sorry I have been acting crazy, but I just cant help it when I see other people looking at you or laughing with you. You are just so beautiful, so perfect to me, I am afraid that someone else will steal you away. I dont know how I will live if that happens. Jealousy is my best friend when I am around you and thats what happen that day. I knew now that you will never be mine, and I accept that. But I will take care of you from afar. And to answer your question, no, I dont want to be your friend, because I want to be so much more. But Y/N..," Taehyung smiles. "I have accepted it Y/N, that you will be the girl who will never be mine,"

Y/N feels her mouth dropped opened. Is Kim Taehyung really finally confessing to her?

"T-tae, I didnt know-"

"Hey, its okay. You didnt know. Atleast you didnt ignore my feelings on purpose," he smiles. "I am so sorry Y/N. I love you and I will do anything to make things right again. I regret everything I did,"

"Wait," Y/N stopped him. "So you are saying, that everything you did to me before, the mood changes, igboring me, getting angry, everything, is because you are jealous? And because you cant have me?"

"Well, yeah," Taehyung gave a small smile. "I love you too much that the thought of not having you drive me crazy. And you are just so beautiful, guys are always all over you,"

"But you said this will never happen again. Because..?"

"Because I finally accepted that you are the girl that I love, but you are also the girl that at will never be mine Y/N," Taehyung smile, a sad smile. Y/N giggles and took a step forward and held his hand.

Oh who is she kidding. She might have denied it to Soo Young and the rest of the gang, but who could ever resist Kim Taehyung?

Obviously not her. Because she is fi ally admitting to herself that she is desperately in love with her best friend. From that first day in high school. And how lucky is she that her best friend is Kim Taehyung.

"But Tae, whoever said that I will never be yours if you never ever asked me?" Y/N grins and the happiest smile slowly crept up Taehyung's face.

[morphogenetic]

why you should play the ds version of 999 first and not the nonary games version: a thread

excuse the formatting of this bc im copying it from my twitter as text, but: why you shouldn’t play the nona/ry games version of 999 on your first run, a thread. lots of this has been said by other people too but i figured i would condense my opinions + what other people have said. 999 spoilers ofc, also vague vlr spoilers later on but the 999 spoilers are a lot worse lmao.

this is ABSURDLY long and i am sorry but tl;dr spoiler free version: buy tng anyway so you can easily play vlr in hd and to support the games, but play 999 on either a ds or an emulator if you have to because boy howdy the story is really meant for this platform (if you’re replaying 999 in the tng version after originally playing the ds version none of this applies LMAO)

(also this isn't meant to at ALL be angry at people who played the t/ng port first! im sad y'all didn't get to experience the dual screen version, but at this point t/ng is much more accessible and a lot of people don't even KNOW about the ds-original thing, so it's not your fault!!  like i WISH to god that they had ported it in some dual-screen/two-screen way, but the fact that they didn't isn't anyone's fault. ok end this part y'all are so valid i just feel sad that you didnt experience the game in its Best State)

spoilers below the cut

1) the big one: the implementation of the dual screen thing. they were always going to have a hard time implementing this on not-a-3ds, but i'll start with the non-spoilery part: action mode...is bad. the fact that they force you into it. is bad. novel mode is more passable but the fact that they default you into a mode with nearly 95% dialogue-only, in a visual novel, is..pretty gross, and the fact that they force-switch you into novel mode sometimes anyway is. maybe an indication that having a 95% dialogue route in a visual novel...wasnt good

  they EASILY could have done a split-screen mode instead, and while that wouldn't have been ideal either, it would still have allowed for the incorporation of both screens simultaneously without having to make compromises

also, petty spoiler thing, but some of the dialogue rewrites to make action mode flow better took out one of my fave pieces of foreshadowing. the main example of this is in junpei's flashback thing to getting kidnapped near the beginning of the game. in t/ng, they had him voice the 'huh, did i leave that open?' line, with respect to his window being open because, you know, zero 'bout to kidnap him. in the original, this is /not/ on the top screen (i.e. voiced by junpei) - it's on the bottom screen. without quotes, i.e. it's not something he's thinking but it's there, in the same formatting as the rest of the descriptions. in other words.....zero is the one saying 'huh, did i leave that open?' in real time, foreshadowing the dual screen twist. this is SO minor in comparison to everything else for SURE but the fact that this got left out still makes me so sad bc i LOVED it. anyway.

 (also the fact that the narrative mode twist of all the random gore descriptions being food-like makes WAY more sense in retrospect with the dual screens, because of course a fucking 12 year old wouldn't know how else to describe gore lmao. this is kind of lost in t/ng because it makes it out to be more of something that jun/pei is thinking but i digress. dual screen for dual protagonists good thanks)

2) (YES IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO GET HERE. SH) the final puzzle.....in t/ng....fucking sucks. not only because the puzzle itself sucks, which uh...it does (PASSWORD IS THE PASSWORD?? FUCKING REALLY??). but a) it loses the theme-ing of the sudoku itself since, yknow. 9s everywhere but, 

b) more importantly, it just...doesn't have the same punch to it. even ignoring the fact that the sudden upside-down-ness is one of the best ways i've ever seen a puzzle suddenly hit you with a plot twist/a revelation, in this case the 'oh shit, we were solving puzzles from akane's viewpoint the whole time and /only now/ are we truly doing it with junpei being the input source' is just. fucking masterful. explaining this is so hard but i promise it makes sense. like obviously the twist w the dual perspectives thing is revealed right before but the fact that they suddenly (literally) flip the entire game on its head is just. *chef kiss* so good. 

also, adding to this, c) the fact that the tn/g version took out the fact that you were seeing baby!kane's face while you were doing the sudoku just adds to the emotional impact of the puzzle. like, in that moment, the puzzle itself isn't the relevant factor, it's the fact that you're doing the puzzle to save her. i no joke started fucking CRYING irl when that happened bc of how hard that hit me emotionally and the fact that they didn't even have something to mimic that in t/ng makes me so goddamn sad. it's not about the puzzle, its about Saving someone via the puzzle, and they just...removed that part. h

(also another dual screen thing here bc i forgot to add it earlier: the constant perspective-swapping thing during the true end feels much less awkward on the ds since you can just naturally shift your eyes between the screens. again, minor, and there probably was never going to be a great way to implement this with a single screen regardless, but it really does flow so much better with two screens. 3ds port of tn/g when)

3) finally, a more Controversial Opinion, but the timeline flow, while absolutely great for replays, kind of ends up spoiling you on the fact that there are multiple timelines that you have to search through for the truth. i wouldn't have minded this so much if the timeline feature in t/ng only unlocked after you hit your first ending, but they didn't do that - they let you look at it from the very start, which really..misses the point of the game. 

(minor vl/r spoilers incoming) in vlr, the fact that you know you have multiple branches from the start makes sense, especially both because it's SUPER obvious that there are branching points (door choices, allying/betraying, etc). obviously 99/9 has choices like that too ala the door choices, but you're actively -not- jumping between timelines. that's the point! because junpei CAN'T jump!! he's an esper, sure, though maybe only one by accident/strong emotional connection [thats a whole different thread LMAO], but the whole point is that he can't make timeline choices  in the same way that phi and sigma can literally timeline shift.

(end v/lr spoilers here i think) tl;dr the timeline feature is great for replays bc its super anti-frustration but boy howdy they did not implement it well. final point:  the fact that you have to play 999 from the beginning every time you get an end makes sense narratively since akane has to do the same thing - she has to go through the whole route (in junpei's head ofc) over and over, she can't just skip around. again, anti-frustration feature that i'm glad they added, but you still lose something w t/ng this way

like ngl, having to fast forward through things instead of just skipping around is annoying as hell, but akane had to do the same goddamn thing! probably way more than we actually have to do it in the game, tbh. definitely this is me prioritizing certain limitations of the ds hardware as important to the narrative but you really do end up missing out if you can just skip at will

4) very minor thing that isnt actually a plot thing at all but  some of the puzzle dialogue is infinitely funnier when you have the ability to see the characters on the top screen talking at the same time you have the puzzle stuff on the bottom screen. this mostly applies to all the stuff with the cards w all the player faces on them in the...cargo room? like it's still funny without it but somehow seeing santa talking about himself on the card when he says 'that's one handsome son-of-a-bitch!' is 500x funnier when you literally see him TALKING about himself

JESUS FUCK THIS IS LONG IM SO SORRY IF YOURE ON MOBILE

[psych-nightmare]

no 2 reflections

I thought O was outside the ‘witches’ house with a monitor in his ear, weaing a suit.

I thought I went to his place when it was all the Chinese people and the guy who prayed for us. I thought he was too shy to come down the stairs to say hi. I thought David, Mary’s husband was filming/recording so O could see. 

When that guy who prayed for me asked me to forgive everyone, I forgave O and I started coughing up some black/brown stuff. Pretty gross.

After we left that persons place we went to Olympic park. I thought I was going to my marriage w O. How ridiculous, looking back.

Once, I walked around the block 3 times and thought I heard God say if I did and pray for what I wanted I would have it. I prayed in tongues and thought some kids were following me, saying to their parents “we want to follow the teacher”. I stopped outside of Ron’s house and spat in the dirt and played with the mud with a stick (thinking of what Jesus did in the sand by drawing).

Easter day - Another time I skated to D (suburb) beach. I prayed by the lake there. I walked through the back there where the sand dunes were and I prayed in tongues. It felt like I was an Aboriginal person, before the settlement, speaking in their tongues. I was also walking funny like a horse or something. After a lot of prayer, worship and time spent in the word, I gathered up some courage. I said to one random couple “beautiful day the Lord has made”. I then started chatting with a lady who lived out of her van. She was in her 40s and was obviously a bit of a hippie, and “searching”. I gave her a word about feeling like she was searching for answers and told her that Jesus is the way, truth and life and shared some of my testimony with her. She was really touched and I prayed with/for her. I downloaded the bible app on her phone and told her to start reading. She said she felt like she was met by an angel. If this episode was just for her salvation, it would be worth it. Lord, I pray that she would have salvation and that your Holy Spirit will bring her to you. After that I went to some old man’s van where we watched the football game a bit and he gave me water. It could have been a dangerous situation, looking back. It is true that people with schizophrenia are more likely to be victims than perpetrators. 

I was watching a lot of Steve Harvey at the time and I thought him and his crew were at/around my house. I thought they were setting me up with O. I was watching my friend’s instagram stories and somehow came to the conclusion that there was some party w O that i was supposed to go to. I thought steve’s video was talking to me - “put on something nice and go out” so i did. I put on my white mini skirt and white crop top and snuck outside. I went through the downstairs laundry and over the fence. I then waited outside my front yard for a bit, thinking steve or someone would come pick me up. I was shy, thinking i’d meet O. I then walked up the street and ended up in W + Tr yard. I heard some noises like a snake or cricket that i thought O was making the noises and hiding from me. I ended up chasing what i thought was him around and around the garden. I ended up in the back of their place. “The man cave” was where i thought O was hanging out. I thought Josiah, Leroy and a bunch of people were hiding inside, being really quiet and that i was supposed to find them. i kept knocking on the door, making beats, dancing and doing stretches like a back arch thing. I also started playing my “Jesus rap” from my phone and full on dancing/praying in tongues. I felt like i was like letting go of my ex (ST) spirit or something. It was so strange. I was like doing really primitive/tribal dances and felt like my steam be smoke that was rising. I ended up kneeling down at the door of the man cave with my hand on the bricks of the house praying “bless this man” thinking i was blessing/praying for O. I then wiped the sweat from my back and drew a cross on a bull’s skull thinking that Christ would resurrect dead things. I also thought that all the landscaping stuff was what O had prepared for me. I saw in the window of the man cave “things identified are of value” with lots of little things made inside, which again, I thought O had made for me. Then, the cops came. “Why are you here?” “Have you had anything to drink or any drugs tonight?” I answered shyly and shocked, with Tr on the balcony “they know me, they’re my neighbours”, “why are you here?” they asked, “it felt safe” i replied. They then asked me for my details and when they asked for my phone number I thought they were going to give it to O or they were flirting with me. There were two men. They insisted on walking me home. I said I could do it myself and that i just lived down the street a bit. They then spoke to dad and mum. i was so scared that i was in trouble that i went to downstairs big bed and curled up. Mum was really sweet and assured me that i was not in any trouble at all.

The next few days i noticed bruises on my biceps. i thought someone, O, had forcibly held me down. I remembered a strange memory that i thought had happened. I thought I had let O in that night and that he slept on the right hand side of me. I thought i had touched his upper body and his head rolled back and that he pounced on me and had sex w me hence the bruises. (i later got a pee test for pregnancy/stds). I watched some weird sermon that confused me further. it was saying some bible story in which a husband had to consummate the marriage by force and i thought that was what had happened. After the sex, i thought i was saying to O, it was all written long ago and i saw a scroll. i told him how we should’ve been married by Oct 21 last year (2018) so we could just have sex or whatever. I thought we were already spiritually married from that date.

I thought O lived downstairs, in the spare room and mum had made him promise not to see me and just to look after me. I remember looking downstairs a few times in the middle of the night, trying to find him. I thought our body clocks had synced up as i woke up in the early morning. I thought he was lying to the right of me in my single bed and i was stroking his abs (which was actually my mattress, lol). but he had to go to work early and i’d always miss him. I was getting frustrated that i never saw him. i’d miss him in the morning and i’d get ready early in the afternoon for him to come and take me to the movies or watch netflix with me in the living room. i asked dad if he could come over for dinner. i texted my friends (CB and JG) as though they were him and ended up in an awkward situation with a guy called Branden who i thought was O. My high school friend, CB, became concerned and confused as he started contacting her. 

I thought O was at Lreef (suburb), wanting to see me. One night after bugger all sleep mum and i went to maccas. i remember a grey van in front of us wave their 4 hands out at the same time, thinking that was O and his friends. when we were driving my stomach hurt a lot when we went over bumps. It felt so uncomfortable. After, we drove past suburb C where gma lives (i thought i heard people saying it was my wedding or something) and then to LR (suburb) where i was texting O (who was actually Bran lol) asking him not to be shy and come to see me. I thought i saw him come out of a van with a beard and boner. i thought he had been living on the beach. i walked to the toilet and thought he followed me. but he didnt. i told him to come to the car to speak to me. he didn’t come. 

Once, we were driving and the car in front of me was letting out feathers. Another time, i was driving past that field on the corner of Cro (suburb). and there was what looked like a veil go past the road.

Once we went to D (suburb) for a swim in the pool. We drove past the main part/street and i saw my grandma sitting on a chair w her head on her hand, looking hopeful. I did some laps in the pool, thinking O was watching/too scared/shy to say hi. i did some weird things like touch the numbers to make some sign like the song ‘countdown’ by Beyonce about “i’m tryna make a 3 from the 2 still the 1′ on the lane numbers.

We put curtains up in my room. felt like i was being strangled by them. 

Once i wasn’t wearing a bra when sleeping. i thought dad came in and was trying to touch my face but accidentally touched my boob.s

really strange, thought my class came to my place and were standing outside my room. i told the girls to come in. i thought ishak was in my bed w a few other girls and i was showing them random stuff from the word? i think. and i was colouring and rapping random things. so strange, i know.

Downstairs, I was dancing/worshipping thinking that my phone camera was recording me and broadcasting me to a large church and i was like prophesying over people. i did this a few times, splashing coconut water around the mirror.

Mum and i walked at (colour) Hill. i thought i heard guys in the bushes. thought O was there saying things to me.

my aunty told me some story about someone - i thought it was about everyone - all my cousins and stuff at her place/my place and O stepped over Chloe w filth on him. i thought O and i had done sexual stuff and he was lying “like an african in his filth” - her words i thought.

mum and i went around near my fav lil beach - secluded i went there w my mums side cousins (suburb). i saw some massive house for sale and thought O and i had been out there cause of a music video i had seen. we saw some guy fishing and i said to mum “it’s time for me to catch my big fish”. at that wharf, some people got picked up by a boat and the guy who was driving the boat said “i have to make sure i get the right people”. i thought they were being taken to my wedding lol. i got annoyed w mum cause she didn’t bring her phone and couldn’t contact O who i thought she could contact for some reason.

i was praying heaps for some people to come and pray for me. I said to mum “the disciples are coming. u have to make sure u let them in”. I thought people were taking it in turns to pray for me outside my house in a van. I thought J (guy i used to like in HS) and J + J (youth pastors at ML) were taking it in turns there.

I also was playing music and i was like “i wish someone would play with me”. I thought O’s sisters were close - in the garage and going to come and play in a band w me.

at N. lake mum and i were sitting there. i thought O was behind me, too scared to make a move (bc i thought i would get engaged at the lake). I felt him have his hand on my back thru the chair, praying for me). and his friends encouraging him to see me. I thought i saw mila upstairs in a restaurant looking down judging me. she looked so evil. i was dancing there, “crushing satan under my feet”.

I once snuck out thinking O would find me and take me to BH (suburb) maccas. I was reading something in the word and got super excited and wanted to share it. i ended up walking to my aunties, thinking O may be there. i did it for “all the lost souls who had to take that path”. I thought O was outside saying “you made me so worried, you know”. I had some water at mindas and thought about turning it to wine lol.