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cherry-slushie-cosplay-blog · 5 years

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Freshman Year Quotes

Ok so I did a list of all the stupid shit I heard in my Freshman year of high school. Enjoy.

(T) - Teacher (AP) - Freshman Assistant Principal

FRESHMAN YEAR ----

"Any weeb brethren, see me after class I want to be friends." *class is totally silent* "*loudly* I have a seven inch penis." "I'm a farmer bitch I will throw my crops at you." "You can teach tiny cil- chilr- chilud- chiluden, wait what?" "I'm telling Jesus!" "Jesus already knows." "(T) Use your 5 sols! Haha, get it? Like soul?" "Bold of you to assume I have any at all." "HE CALLED ME THE N-WORD, HE CALLED- oh shit you're a girl my bad I'm just messing around trying to get someone in trouble. Have a nice weekend!" "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht...FUCK!" "How do you make an equilateral square?" "I think my back has scoliosis." "I've got a bag of chicken." "Why do you have a bag of chicken?" "Because. Why do you have a bottle with mangos on it?" "This- this is mango-flavored tea!" "AND THIS IS CHICKEN-FLAVORED BAG" "...and some condoms have spermicide which kills off the sperm. Don't ask me how I know all that, Mrs. ********." "Are you from Russian?" "Sit your ADHD-filled ass down." "If we were in hell, do you really think I would be here?" "(T) Yes." (T) "Is stupid written on your forehead?" "I don't know, is it written on yours?" "His forehead's big enough for it." "That looks like an orgy pile over there." "Why do you guys always sit behind me?" "If we want to kill you, you won't see it coming." "Is this what Julius Caesar felt like?" "You're so tiny! You look like a doll!" "And you look like a cock-riding motherfucker." " Technically, time is a construct." "Technically, none of this matters and we're all gonna die soon." "Will you two shut up please?" (T) "My 2019 has been completed, I made a student cry." (This was January 10th btw) (T) "As long as you do your best and turn that in, you'll be fine." "What if my best sucks and I get a bad grade?" "Ok that was good I'm gonna give you that." "I'm gonna put on black lipstick and go to sleep." *Aggressively singing Dream Daddy For Me* "What's that?" "A grapefruit." "Bitch that ain't a grape." "No, grapeFRUIT." "It looks like you put Kool Aid in an orange." "Dude it's called a grapefruit." "No, fuck you and your Kool Aid orange." "I ate a mouse dongle." "Why the fuck would you do that?" "I don't know, I just did." "Racism is my bitch. I bend racism over and take it from behind." "A function is an input and a function...oh wait hold on I messed up- stop laughing at me I got this." "James Charles did one of Bob Ross's tutorials on his forehead." "So he has a big forehead-" "Shut the hell up ***** no one cares." "The answer was D! D as in 'Dinosaur chicken nuggets'!" (T) "What are the first ten amendments?" "I know the ten COMMANDments." "No one cares, we're not in Christian school." "YES WE ARE HAIL MARY" (T) "Do your work or the Lord may strike you." *this was at the religious girl from the previous quote* "What time is it?" "It's fuckin uhhhhh noon o 5." "Noon o 5?" "I forgot the word twelve." "I SEE HEADLIGHTS" "Hm?" "Headlights is nipples." "If this is a test I'm gonna throw myself out the window. I was about to go to the hospital this weekend and I'm still gonna make it happen." "I won't T-Pose for dominance but I will screech and make your eardrums bleed." "Does anyone remember Llamas With Hats?" 4 people: "caAAARRLLLLL" "Pagans terrify me." "Why?" "Every pagan I know of is a furry." "sKeDaDdLe SkAdOoDlE yOuR dIcK iS nOw A nOoDlE" "NO NOT IN MATH CLASS" "Doodlebops." "shUT THE FUCK UP" "I watched that yesterday, I have it on DVD." "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE DOODLEBOPS ON DVD" (T) *random Chewbacca noise* "My brain is smaller than my dick." "If you feel stupid, you should." "What about King Solomon?" (T) "What has Solomon ever done for America?" "What have YOU ever done for America?" "Nothing should be in your mouth unless it's a banana." "What type of banana?" "A yellow one, duh." *laughter* "Or a green one, whichever you like more." (T) "For the people who I'm signing these for: are you going to the farm-" "YES WE FINNA BE COWBOYS" (T) "What y'all playing over there?" "Chess." (T) "I hope you lose." (T) "If you're stupid, it's your fault." (T) "Let's go guys!" "hoLD ON I'M SAVING MY POKEMON GAME" "There's people taking pictures down there - should I pour Monster on them?" "When you gave me my pencil I was like 'I like Zoe, she's nice' in my brain and then my brain somehow connected that to 'You tryna smash?' and another part of my brain said 'No, stop, she'd cut your dick off'." "That's the strangest intrusive thought I've ever heard from a friend." "How many of y'all think I'm gay?" *about 6 people raise their hands* "Ok then." "May I please go to the bathroom?" (T) "You just have to get out of here at any chance you get, don't you?" "I'm serious, I'm really hungry, does anyone have any food?" "I have lotion." "Fuck you." (T) "OH MY GOD SHE HAS TAP SHOES CAN YOU DANCE???" "...no" (T) "YOU STILL LOOK GOOD" *watching Sorcerer's Stone* "Who's at the window?" *ta-da it's Malfoy* "Oh it's a blonde-headed lesbian." "Shit fuck goddammit bitch pussy fucking Jesus Christ." "I have ibuprofen, you know." "Nah, I'm good." "I'm a lil loli short and flat~ My head is for pat- wait fuck what was it" "Hello~ my fuCKING HIP OW" "Are you ok?" "I popped my hip...Hello, my name is Elder Price~" (T) "Here, it's legal to marry your 2nd cousin twice removed." "I'm doing it." (T) "******** no-" "Fuck (insert name of school district), man. On my mom." "I wanna fucking die I hate this class." "No. I look like Jesus, I'm telling you no. Therefore, Jesus says no and you're not allowed to die." (T) "How else could we have solved this?" "With a calculator." "Did Diego steal his money from Dora?" (T) "I don't know, moving on." "All y'all talking about how your souls are dark black, mine is baby blue. It's brighter than your hair." "uwu my stomach hurts" "I'm serious I'm not on my phone." (T) "Oh really?" "I swear to GOD she wasn't!" (T) "Oooooohhh" "Holy shit Zoe you're gonna send **** to hell." "You were staring at me for like 20 seconds before calling on me!" (T) "No, my glass eye was staring at you. My real eye was over there seeing that stuff, and over here I didn't see sHIT." "I heard there's G-Spots in your ass, why don't you shove it up there and have some fun." "How about no?" "Suit yourself." "I don't like raw fish — it makes me sad." "100 senators!! Come ON, Sen - a - tors!" "Shut up go stick your head in a dick." "I want that Mormon Milk." "I'm begging you to stop talking." "I'm salivating for that salvation." "Shut the fuck up."

BONUS: SCHOOL'S POWER OUT

"My god that sun is brighter than Kirishima's smile." "Zoe is turning into Trina." "I'm breaking down~" "Come over here anyone who wants to take 'Golden-Hour Mental Breakdown' selfies and/or get Pocky." "Anyone who refuses to let their anxious child come home will be personally smacked by me with Zoe's copy of 'Half-Blood Prince'."

NORMAL SCHOOL

"Stab me in the ovary or whatever you said." "CORRODED ARTERY YOU ARE MALE" "Same difference." "Perfect boy lookin-ass- no homo." "What the fuck" "People think that Sherlock Holmes isn't real because he was written in a book. God was too but you don't see people denying HE exists, do you?" "Ok do a burpee." *burps loudly* "No a- you're a fucking idiot." "Heyyyyy Zoe, can we- holy shit is that Pornhub?" "How do you make a baby crawl in a circle?" "I don't fucking know." "Ok...do you know how to make one stop?" "When did you get here!?" "Couple minutes ago." "???" "I'm quiet and people generally don't notice I'm here." "...do you need a hug?" (T) "What'd you do this weekend?" "Some sewing." (T) "What'd you sew?" "Robes…" (T) "For what?" "*increasingly embarrassed* A costume." "From what?" "*very red by now* Harry Potter…" "Which character?" "*wanting to crawl into a hole* Draco Malfoy…" "*polite clapping from entire class*" (T) "He's on the road to alcoholism." "I'm doing a 21-Day challenge of not talking, if I do - punch me." (T) "Oooohhh this is gonna be fun." *knock at door* (T) "*presses face against door window* What's the password?" "bitCH GIVE ME BACK MY CAPRI-SUN" "It's not Capri-S-" "IT'S BOOTLEG CAPRI-SUN GIVE IT BACK" "Holy shit you turned the Jesus-freak gay." "What happens if you don't deletus the fetus?" "Then the abortion isn't completus." (T) Can you see where I'm going?" "To hell." "Oh look, a wasp." "KILL THAT SHIT" "Oh man I can't hear my eardrums." "How the fuck would you hear your eardrums?" "That's the POINT." "I like a p p l e s ~I like 'em big and juicy-" (T) "NO." "Everyone raise your hand if you want Mr. **** out of the room." *80% raises their hands* (T) "Even you?" "What do you mean 'even me'!?!?" "******? ******!!" "What?" "If I ask you a question will you be a douche?" "Probably." "Understandable." "What the hell am I reading?" "Words." "Mr. **** do you like donkey ducks?" (T) "I'm not even going to answer you." "I'm scared of homophobes." "Homophobophobia." "If gay is a slur does that mean that African American is a slur?" "Who has my mcfreaking phone? WHOMST HAS MY PHONE" (T) "Ooh free charger! *wraps cord around neck like a scarf*" "Whee whee mone me jam apple laff-yeti" "If someone is being homophobic, give them dyslexia." "Troom Troom life hack: if someone is harassing you — eat them." "Troom Troom banana hack: if someone is harassing you — shove a banana up their ass." (T) "Take that hat off." "I'm a gangsta." "I'm never gonna use this shit. Do you think I'm gonna go to McDonald's and say something like, I don't know, 'Oh riddle me dubious'? NO." "I'm gonna meticulate you until you get dyslexia." "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I'm gonna meticulate your rectum." "Please stop." (T) "See that girl? She likes bad boys." (T) "Ask her, she has tape." "What the hell has made you think I have tape?!?" "I don't care if you have 106% in this class, you can kiss my fat ass!" "No, PICasso." "I like Costco-" "No." "Holy shit *points at red train in movie watched in class* it's the Hogwarts Express." "Stop it." "Choo choo bitch we goin' to magic school." (T) "Guys Mr. ***** is in here, quick make it look like you're doing math." "3 + 7 = 9!!!" "Are you serious?" "MOVE IT, MUNCHKINS!" *shoves us apart and runs off* "Excuse-moi, I'm gonna beat her ass." "Oh my god someone's weave is on the floor." "Only at (insert school name here)." "THERE'S MORE THEY THREW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW" "*handing out books* Take this dick, *throws book on student's desk next to me* and here you go. *places book gently on my desk*" "waIT TAKE THAT BACK I WANT A 'HERE YOU GO' WTF" (T) "-and so the corn salsa would be 20...thaaaat's not one of the answers oh no." "You fucking whore, happy birthday." (T) "How do you know you are college and career ready?" "Because Jesus loves me." "Last time I shit my pants was in middle school." "rePEAT THAT?" "I'm gonna show up tomorrow with AIDS." "Did you just say you'd show up with AIDS?" "Yeah." "Why??" "Cause HE put his spit on me." "I'm borrowing your chair. To sleep." "I'm straight as a line." "Oh? *makes loop-de-loops in the air* You mean THIS line?" (T) "I will decimate you. I will wipe your name from the earth." "Is the government making us take this test?" (T) "No, the district is making us take it." "Well the district can suck my ass." *calling every white person in a certain scene of Ernest Green a toothpick* "Is it just me or does ******** seem like he'd end up having a job at Chuck and Dale's?" "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE I WANNA WATCH MERLIN" (T) "You boys don't know how to chop down a tree, do you? You wouldn't be able to do that." "Yes I would, I do it in Minecraft all the time!" (T) "Ok, remember to put your name on your paper." "No. I have no name. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Voldemordita." "Stop it." "Shut up, both y'all gay, always smackin' each other's asses in class." (T) "Easy, Luigi, we're not watching a movie." (This was a sub for Civics class and he had just walked in 2 minutes prior. The student's name was not Luigi) "Hold on I'm gonna be Oprah: YOU GET A CALCULATOR, YOU GET A CALCULATOR!" "Y'know ***** still needs one." "F R I C K" *girl walks into a desk* "There's a desk there ****." "I KNOW fuck OFF" "I feel like we need to warn her about everything when she walks." "Watch out for life, ****." "Can we do it on paper?" (T) "No, this is not Burger King." *leaving the room* "Remember, cocaine is not your friend. I'll kick your ass." (T) "Wow! It's Good Friday, and you're talking about your baptism and stuff like that, and you said 'oh my fricking god'? For shame." (T) "I'm on a lot of drugs and alcohol right now and I can't feel anything." "Oh my GOD USE A YARDSTICK" "No." "MR. ******** I'M GONNA HURT HER" "Gonna stab her with the yardstick?" "I need bail money." "I need money PERIOD." "DRAW. A STRAIGHT. L I N E." "NO, FUCK YOU" "You know you're gay when it takes you 3 tries to draw a straight line." "DON'T TAKE MY JOKE" "You definitely know you're gay if it still isn't straight after 3 tries." (T) "What would you do if someone came into your neighborhood?" "Who's neighborhood? Mr. Rodger's?" "I have 15 pets." "I have 13 siblings, does that count?" "No but it does mean that your parents need to learn how to use a fucking condom." "Hi my name is J. Michael Tater Tot welcome to the Dairy Dome." "Dyslexia? I thought you said...cannibalistic tendencies." "What?" "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed." "You need to flex seal your anus closed." "If you don't fucking shut up I will shave off your eyebrows using my toenail as a razor you cunt." "Sippy Cup looks depressed." "Sippy Cup, you going through some shit?" "Hit or Miss, I guess they never miss, huh? You got a boyfriend-" "Yep." "I bet he doesn't kiss ya!" "Haha nope." "Ew I look like Casper." (T) "...and we're going to write a paragraph." "Oh you're FUNNY." "I think I'm switch. Like, I'm good with being sub, but I'd like to dominate my bitch too. Like F.B.I get on the ground open your legs." "Ms. ******* that's really bright-" (T) "YOU'RE bright." Video: *talking about how important this song is to them* (T) "I don't care stop talking." "I peed on the desk again." "Key word: AGAIN???" "You should send ****** and I to get them." "That is a HORRIBLE idea." "What do you mean it's a horrible idea? You don't know me!" "What do you mean 'I don't know you?' We have gone to school together for almost 4 years." (T) "Look, I know you're obsessed with me, GET TO WORK." "He's harassing me." "You harassed me first. It's not harassment if you do it in self-defense." "You can have the benefit of my middle finger." "It's the progression of the climb of the rocket." (T) "Oh my GOOODDDD JUST SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING" "Fine. The speed." (T) "ExACTLY." "Oh look a firetruck's outside." "Whee whoo whee whoo- oh my god you're serious. Oh god it's (crappy fire department) jesus christ." "I think we need to potty train our classmates again." "AGAIN???" "Well, yeah. They're supposed to be." "'Supposed to' and 'are' are two different things." "Mr. **** can I put mascara on you?" (T) "No." "Whyyyyy?" (T) "Do I look like a Barbie doll?" (T) "Mascara girl is the one who's talking." "You act like I don't have a name!!!" "Do you?" "What the hell are you doing?" "It makes your eyelashes look nicer." "Yeah; easy, breezy, beautiful: Covergirl. Get with the program." "James Charles is QUAKING." "Sister shook." "Give me my paper." "Bitch I'm gluing my fingers together, I didn't fucking take it." "Do you have a charger?" "No, but I have a notebook full of English notes." "I don't have any round characters, all of mine are gay and sad."

BONUS 2: BIRTHDAY

"I'm sorry I don't have anything for you for your birthday all I have is Reese's and duct tape." "Wait it's your birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-" "NO STOP SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT" "Thank you." "You're welcome." (T) "Pay attention my dudes." *collective groaning from entire class* "*asking for tampons*" (T) "*holding a marker* I can throw another red one at you." "I don't get it. *sudden realization*" (T) "***** pick your jaw up off the floor, I was joking." "I'm tired of the word 'domain'." "Oh yeahhhh me too, cause we hear it a lot in physics now." "Domain, domain, domain; I hate it." "I'm in a domain of hating myself." "I'm joking, I love you." "I'm not joking, but I love you too anyways." "**** don't lose your Crocs again." (T) "Get that earbud out of your ear." "No, this is keeping me sane." "Why is my name 'desire'??? I put it as 'pee pee poo poo'!"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I've finally done a fraction! I flipped it over, turned it around, smacked its ass and had it call me daddy." "PARDON???" "What?" (in Physics talking about electricity) "Ok positive top, negative bottom-" "ME?" "He said you can't learn if you burn but you do learn. You learn fire is hot. Also the sensation of being burned alive as you are consumed by flames." "*shows Thanos smut* Spoilers for Endgame that no one asked for." "Legend has it that if you work at the Dairy Dome, you get free tickets to Domegame." Have a marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a...Thesis Thursday. I couldn't think of anything." "You look like a frog." (T) "And you look like a squid." "Someone today said I looked like a drug dealer magician. Would you like *sweeps off hat* MARIJUANA??? Or...*pretends to pull something out of hat* COKE??? Perhaps some *flourishes* *whispers* acid???" "I'm gonna Detroit Smash him to hell." "LGBT, let's get this bread." "My hero academia as in Aizawa can shove my ass up his head- wait hold on" "*talking about Ariel* She's hot but that doesn't excuse the fact that she put her entire species in jeopardy for some dick." (T) "Does anyone not have medicine in their bag that ******* cannot have while I look down at the floor because I dropped my pen?" (T) "*reaches for paper*" "Ah ah **** no swipin'." *in science class* "Nothing's happening but I saw that bitch SPARK and I'm terrified." "I'm basically teacher today, your assignment is to do nothing. YOU get an A." "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER I'LL EAT YOUR ANUS THEY DON'T CALL ME RECTUMUS PRIME FOR NOTHING" "EXCUSE ME" "What was the word again?" "David Hasselhoff?" "What, no???" "This is why you shouldn't scratch yourself, here." "*instantly shoves necklace in mouth*" "I wouldn't use that as a chew fidget, I got it off the ground in Louisiana." "*chews even more aggressively*" (T) "Don't mess with me I will throw something at you, I played softball for 14 years." "Really???" (T) "Yeah. I was the captain biatch." "James Charles looks like the dragon from Shrek." "***'s touching my wenis." "Gay fantasies don't really matter." "Yeah, I mean, did you see the way that Tony and Cap looked at each other in Endgame?" "When he was, a young boy, his father, took him to the dark lord, to kill the principalofawizardachool" "He said son when, you grow up, will you b-" "HE SAID WILL YOU, GETSHANKEDINABATHROOM-" "Watch out: I have peanut butter and a knife!" (T) "All you need is at least a 60% to pass the test-" "BOI I GET 40S AND 30S IN YOUR CLASS AND YOU KNOW IT" (T) "So you used to go to (other school name)?" "Yeah. But people growling and barking at me was a little much." (T) "Were they furries?" "Dude, tornadoes in Kansas are no joke." "But you go to Oz." "THERE AIN'T NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD AFTER A TORNADO" "Uh, yeah! Yellow brick road to HEAVEN." "Toto isn't god” "You awakened something you didn't want to awaken." "Is it god??? Is it Totoro? Remember to pay your taxes or Hong Kong will come eat you." "Today's weather is cloudy with a chance of rectal prolapse." (T) "Who's at the door?" "It's ***." (T) "Who's ***?" "***. Your student." (T) "*opens door* Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "Who is commander in chief of the military? My p e n i s" "Are those grandma shoes??? Can I e a t them???" "She sounds like a fetus screaming for extra guac at Chik-Fil-A." "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" "*singing the Boku No Pico theme off-key in a loli voice*" "I will hit you." "I'd feel bad for you but you have a 69% and that causes you to get a D and I can't look that over." "Do you ever wonder where babies come from? Cause I don't. All you have to do is pee into a lady's Digornio." "rePEAT THAT??" "Don't forget to degrade your dog." "Imagine a world: where you have 2 fetuses hanging from your eyebrow."

BONUS 3: GIANT, END-OF-THE-YEAR CIVICS TEST

"Why the fuck is Christmas a national holiday???" (T) "Ok, the president during WWII was...Roose-" "-A PARKS" (T) "Are you even paying attention?" (T) "What happened on September 11th, 2001?" "9/11!" (T) "We're gonna need you to be a little more specific, buddy." (T) "What's a state that borders Canada?" "I deadass was about to say Arizona, I need sleep." "WHAT is your name?" "*****." "WHAT is your quest?" "To clap the best pussy out there." "*through laughter* What is your favorite color?" "The color of the next pussy I'm gonna crunch." "I got a Voltage from the ROTC room, and I dropped it and someone said 'OOH', picked it up and yeeted with it." "WHAT THE FUCK I'D SHIT ON THEIR HOUSE" "Can we play a song after our presentation?" (T) "As long as it's not like 20 minutes like an Allman Brothers song." "Huh?" (T) "You know how when you have an acid trip, people tell you to listen to the Allman Brothers?" "..." (T) "I'm old." (T) "If this eye starts drooping, there was something in the brownie." (T) "*teaching us Piccolo Mini*" "You just made me feel dyslexic." "YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE TEA??? I'M THE REAL HOE" *applause from class* "BITCH WE BEEN KNEW" "*unintelligible*" (T) "What?" "*still unintelligible*" (T) "I still didn't hear you." "You talk like your handwriting." "I WILL THROW THIS CROC AT YOU" "I will literally pay a dollar for one." "I will literally eat these." "Petunia is not a phone." "Electronic device, then." "She's not an electronic device, I gave birth to her." (T) "**** that's the whitest you've ever sounded." "My dingaling is messed up." "Mine too." (T) "Ok so say you wanted aides-" "I DON'T WANT AIDS WHAT THE HELL" (T) "IN THE CLASSROOM. CLASSROOM AIDES. HELPERS. "Can we talk while doing this?" (T) "No, this isn't Burger King." "What is your obsession with Burger King????" "HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S PUTTING THE WHITE NECTAR ON THE RAMEN SINK" "Have you ever seen a 14 year old looking badass?" "Have you ever seen a beaver chomping down on a carrot? Cause I wanna see that." "I don't wanna go to Papa Louie's Arcade, Papa Louie can pop a cap in your ass." "Micheal does a Thanos Snap in season 14." "Cas, I don't feel so good." "NO" "Your Crocs are in sport mode." "My cock is hard." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID" "It's ok lil diglett I'm gonna evolve you." (T) "Stop it." "I'm gonna evolve you it's fine, you're weak but you're gonna get better. *throws stress ball at teacher*" (T) "******* looks like Ted Bundy" (T) "He's falling asleep. Hey, ****, are you sad you can't have an abortion?" "What???" (T) "If you don't like high school relationships, who's that guy you keep making out with in the hallway?" "*pointing at random places on the map in the civics classroom, threatening to deport each other to random places*" "You're jiggling my titties." "*half the class is singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies*" "I love you!" "Shut it, I'm doing a presentation." "I love you!!" "Stop." "I love you!!!" "God damnit, *******, I'm gonna hit you." (T) "If you drop any f-bombs during the presentation, I'm gonna kill you." "Bottom, take the apple." "I'm not black, I'm O.J." "Balls. That was the word." "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET 'BALLS' FROM 'THE BUCKS ARE WINNING THE FINALS'??" "Who's this? Tom? No I don't wanna streak with you. Stranger danger." "Why is it called Field Day if it's only 2 periods?" (AP) "I- That's actually a good question." "ALRIGHT THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO-" "*gets literally kissing distance from him* *salutes* Yes sir?" "We're playing cornhole." "Stop laughing, how is cornhole inappropriate?" "Mr. **** this is the type of yardstick that could take your kneecaps. Do you want me to take yours?" (T) "I'd like to see you try." "Is that Ratatouille?" "Ratatouille isn't the rat. That's Remy, you insolent fuck." "I'm gonna call you the 'G' word." "What's the 'G' word?" "Jew." "That's…porny." "...send it to me." "Where you going?" "To hell." "WHY" "*shrugs* Seems fun." "You see, this is why I need to work with you. I'm your insurance."

BONUS 4: FIELD DAY

(T) "Are you part 1 or part 2?" "Uh…" (T) "Top line or bottom line?" "Bottom- no, top- uhhhhh…" "He looks like a top." "I still don't understand why we fucking dropped Bohemian Rhapsody for a song from fucking T W I L I G H T." (T) "*throws a marker at the Assistant Principal*" *various cheers and "OHHHHHH"s from the class* (AP) "Are you actually serious." Not a quote but in the 2nd to last week of school, we spent almost the entirety of 4th period Algebra (including the teacher — he started it) throwing dry-erase markers at each other and didn't even stop when the AP (seen above) came in. (T) "*walks through the middle of the room*" "FIRE" *8 people pelt markers at him* "Wait you guys realize he's gonna throw all of those back, right?" "I have a D I'm hanging on the edge my dudes." "I did a math? I did a math!!!" "You did meth?" "YES!!!" "*gets head shoved out of window* OW! FUCK, ****** MY TIT" "You exude strong Kenny energy." "Why?" "Cause you die a lot? Cause your heart was replaced with a baked potato? Cause your family's poor?" "*laughing so hard we can't breathe*" "*leaves the cafeteria to calm down from laughing too hard*" "I'm having elementary school flashbacks." "Shut your social justice warrior ass up." "You ok?" "I stabbed myself." "Sorry, only girls get it. Also, this is my last customer today." "Hold on, if it's only girls, why does HE get it?" "Hi." "OH SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL MY BAD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

“Did I just witness a drug deal?” "Why do you look like a dad?" "I need some weed in my system again, I'm fucking drained." "There's a fucking big-ass run in my tights — I'm gonna eat my own ass and then some." "Hi I'm ***** and Mr. **** can suck my 13 inch dong. My Long John Silver." "This ignorant pickle of a person can die." "This cashew of a long dong. Cashews look like telephones." "A shirt says Mr. **** can suck my magnum horse, my stallion." "His mom should've fucking swallowed." "Spit his ass in a Dixie cup." "I will tattoo my eyes shut." "I'm talking about this mongoose man that's called Mr. ****." "Can you speak some Spanish?" "Hola, como estas, sugma." "Sugma?" "Suck my fuckin' balls lmao" "It's your sugar daddy. *shows picture of Andrew Jackson*" "It's Mr. **** as a woman." "That's fucking Christopher Columbus." "*howling laughter*" "I was just thinking 'have it stop raining so that I don't have to walk in it', but then I remembered I have work today so it should keep pouring. The more the sky cries, the less I cry. Unless I'm on drive." "Excuse me sir, *raises leg* my penis has fallen off." "I pray you get AIDS." (T) "Please throw away your sheet music, it's illegal to copy sheet music and I don't wanna go to jail." "*loud smack* I am so sorry, I didn't mean it to be that loud! Come here baby boy, let me give you the sweet taste of my mother milk." "It's not mother anymore, it's daddy now." "Dude what if you were born with a set of words that if said, would implode your testicles." "Bomb go boom, Mormons go extinct." "MR. **** YOU TOOK OUR NOODS" "DON'T TAKE THE NOODS" "NOT THE NOODS!!!" "****, I thought you were Catholic." "The pencil's black." "Like my ass-cheeks." "Someone stole it!!!!" "Like ****'s virginity."

BONUS 5: WATCHING INSIDIOUS (FOR SOME FUCKING REASON)

*kid falls off ladder* *various banshee screeches from students* "They're kissing AGAIN. This movie is NOT appropriate." "I'm hearding weeeesssst~ I don't know what to dooooo~ " That's not how you make a superpowered baby. You kill the mother and put her on the ceiling." "Wait, pause. What the hell?" "F.B.I, open up." "IT'S DALTON." "PUT A CHAIR ON THE DAMN DOOR" "HOW WOULD A CHAIR WORK AGAINST THE DEMON" "He's in a deep sleep. Wake him up with true love's kiss." "It's a pedo-demon! Everyone run!" "He's cheating on her." "What if this was linked to Supernatural?" "Ooh she's echoing now." "My legs are shaking bruh." "Is that blood on the window?" "No, it's a tree." "SMACK THE CHILD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I figured out why I'm so quiet today." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, *shows trembling hands* I'm on vibrate." "I can't wait to go to church."

BONUS 6: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

"The first thing I ate when I came to this country, it was in the airport and it was Doritos." (T) "They gave me the shortest teachers' gown they had. I have a baby gown." "That isn't a happy little bush." "IT'S. TREE." "Hello ladies, *winks* *blows kiss*" "I'm GAY." *I Will Survive playing really loudly* "******* you're not in our friend group so get the FUCK OUT." "Now I can swear! FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS" "Oh shit it's an end of the year fight!" Four kids got into a fight at the same time and one got tazed."

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bryanstougaard9-blog · 5 years

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9 Well-balanced Set Cooking food Dishes.

As frequent audiences understand, I am actually a large supporter from the feminist movement with past history. There was actually one clinical study which presented that when this was actually blended with Garcinia Mangostana, that this carried weight loss effects. I am sorry that a number of you have battled with eating ailments before but a number of our team like me should drop some weight. The 2 crucial active substances have but to be supported by any sort of dependable scientific research studies that confirm it is actually effective and risk-free for weight reduction. However with a great mindset and regular diet plan as well as workout, you are going to begin to view your physical body modification. Our experts assimilate food items either to get power, or even to utilize private elements of food items in growth, routine maintenance, or even fixing from our own physical body parts. I shed regarding twenty extra pounds by exercising without doing a meals journal, once I carried out both, I reduced weight somewhat quickly, although I seldom consumed less than 2000 fats. Therefore, defeat the glucose tormenter and also return in control from exactly what you do with your food items. This message has actually been so practical that I am actually reposting this now that the NYT bestseller The Invincible Diet plan book is posted. If you do experience hypoglycemia, discuss administration choices with your medical professional: down medication correction, changing meal volumes or opportunities, correction of physical exercise regimen, eating more carbs, etc So I WAGER that individuals that get the herbal tea are actually additionally extra aware from just what they consume and also how they exercise given that they do not intend to squander their funds or their opportunity. While this is just one of the best crucial elements to making Weight Watchers (or even any type of strategy) job, that is actually also one of the elements that goes out the window the absolute most. Therefore Phinney placed a small group of elite guy bikers on a low-carb diet regimen to check this out-- pushing their bodies to tap into the fat stores. There may properly be opportunities where you're lured to reduce fats right down to drop weight that bit a lot faster - specifically if you've been weight loss for a special celebration. Merely visit our Update Strategy webpage where you can easily improve your menu as well as strategy information. Research is currently verifying that genetic makeups can additionally control the way our team manage to process food items as well as the impact our diets have on our wellness. Lynne Malcolm as well as Olivia Willis take a look at the impact of negative diet plan on mental wellness in a function for Registered Nurse. Regrettably, many diet plans are actually low in zinc, as well as many kids today are actually born low in zinc as a result of their mama's diets. I would certainly point out no. I presume if an individual feels addicted" around food items, they could would like to inspect their degree of physical regulation (really refuting themselves ample fats, making too much cravings, and/or rejecting themselves certain meals) or their degree of emotional regulation (consuming the meals yet really feeling bad regarding them, labeling foods good/bad, feeling bad regarding their bodies and using food as a proxy).

If you want to leave from the diet programs curler rollercoaster, some of the initial steps is actually to leave fad diets behind and decide on a weight-loss strategy that will create long-term end results. If you are actually a dieter, as well as perhaps even primarily a Weight Watchers alum, you will definitely recognize exactly what ABC stands for. Fast food as well as various other generally eaten American foods possess a considerably higher quantity from omega-6 (everything created with vegetable oil is loaded along with omega-6 fatty acids). She came to be consumed along with workout and also calorie counting, which really did not aid her shed the weight. When you attempt to manage your meals consumption by staying with outlandish guidelines, you are actually movinged towards the same sort of breakdown"-- and also's not fair to you. Surely there may be natural selection associated with that some people could be actually genetically a lot more susceptible to gaining weight in our obesogenic setting, but that is actually setting nevertheless which is actually the reason for the existing surge in obesity rates. You seemed like a model, and all of my various other clients were frightened through you, asked me why you were there because clearly you failed to must burn fat. There is no magic technique to drop weight, I believe its own really incredibly unfortunate that individuals try to act like body weight is actually a condition they have captured. After the negative traits going on in my scalp, meals was the next huge thing to sort out. Results can easily differ." He's called for to place that there through legislation due to the fact that now this's reputable that diet plans don't function to generate sustainable weight loss, results can not be actually forecasted with any kind of level from precision, and within 3 to 5 years most or even all weight is actually reclaimed ... and due to the fact that his diet regimen is no various. A lot of the moments I then don't eat up until 4 'time clock I at that point consume a dish with something wonderful however sweets free and wheat or grain complimentary. Boyd Swinburn: That corrects and also that definitely does indicate adhering to the diet regimen and how much folks are actually adhering to the diet. I started this diet today but I am actually a pescatarian so I made a gigantic container from grain and veggie soup as well as I eat that instead of the chicken. Alongside the monitoring component there is actually additionally a personal digital assistant to help you figure out PointsPlus worths of foods items you could certainly not locate in the database. ABC News opened a story about Duke Educational institution reviewing the expenses and performance of three diet systems as well as 3 fat loss prescribed drugs. Although the program was produced to assist dieters stay away from holiday weight increase, The 17 Day Diet plan may be adhered to any time when swiftly and also effective fat loss is wanted. While the diet regimen as well as social environments of centenarians like Sol have been analysed as part of the durability genes project, results suggest they are actually not the calculating aspect for incredibly lengthy lifestyle. When I need to have an excellent difficulty or easy workout session, I will be actually pulling that out again at some point. This then delivers in-depth reports on how your hereditary profile can easily modify your diet regimen and also exercise that can help satisfy your targets. When you plunge into any type of weight-loss program, this is actually finest to possess no collection assumptions and also to not compare your own self to a good friend, your husband or wife or perhaps your experience last time you carried out Atkins or even some other weight-loss diet. The 14-Day Low Calorie Enhancer diet can be found in at merely 1,000 Fats (only 200 above the medical meaning from a Very-Low-Calorie-Diet). Discover More Here perform fast every 3 hours most opportunity they simply possess protein drinks for breakfast Lunch be actually some type of tossed salad dinner snacking on nuts or blended almonds and a peach or apple or even a orange for supper. Beginners this year which certainly bear an exclusive callout include Retrofit, an innovative weight loss strategy that only acquired some fairly significant focus from ABC News last week on its 2013 diet styles disclose. After merely preserving lifestyle, the next crucial job of food is actually to expected our company with each other as social beings.

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hdeubevxsenxs-blog · 6 years

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Life As A Healthcare CIO

Some locals and visitors wanted to keep the original name but were outvoted by the Corporation of Hamilton city fathers who stated it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity the city had to celebrate the diamond jubilee of a reigning monarch. ]xercises that amount to self-administered physical therapy, and are normally recommended by a health care professional who trains the worker in the proper frequency, duration and intensity of the exercise. I am in the process of making sure there are no holes by the different applicances, ac units hoses, etc., but there are still some rats. When you use a healthcare sharing ministry, you are responsible for making sure your medical bills are submitted. The U.S. Office of the Inspector General administers two databanks that collect adverse information about physicians and other healthcare providers. Embassy in Port-of-Spain, Trinidad and obtain updated information on travel and security. For under the hood of cars open up the hood often if you park outside and spray with pine sol or Lysol disinfectant the moment you see or hear scurrying or can smell rat piss from 5 feet away. We’re saving money every month, and we get to see any doctor of our choosing. Money orders can also be a safe substitution for cash if you have to purchase something through the mail. Have rats that enter my yard through the fence from one yard and runs across my yard to the nest yard. What do you know about these electronic electric traps that electrocute rats? Therefore, many CEO phishers will zero in on new members of the finance department in the hopes that person does not yet know all the safeguards that may be in place to prevent the scam from working. 562.50 for a married person filing separately. We think of exercise as something that makes us sweaty. We think the rats are worse than usual this year because we all had a lot of flooding this summer, but regardless of the cause, we just want them to go away. Some people swear rats dislike the presence of humans and will run away the moment they feel you are messing too much with their ‘privacy’. I have Pack Rats in the home. Ensure Colorado Has a Voice in Federal Decisions on its Public Lands — Coloradans understand in our core that public lands have value far beyond industrial development. I will continue the work of formulating interstate contingency plans that benefit Colorado and which can be implemented as we face warmer temperatures, reduced precipitation, canadian pharmacy online and diminished reservoir levels. It will just be a small percentage of the person’s income and that is after they will probably lower eligibility by putting in place some factors as the income and the social benefits. The denser the metal on the cage, the more protected the electronic devices inside will be - another reason why metal trash cans are often used as Faraday cages. One of the most notorious cases of ransomware was the 2017 WannaCry attack in which more than 400,000 machines were infected. Leaving the city, even on foot, should be done during the immediate aftermath of the EMP attack when the populace is still stunned and trying to figure out what the heck is going on. I don’t know about you, but even if something was really helpful, I wouldn’t be able to function at all if I was stoned all day and night. Trust me, I know the feeling. However, taxes are payable only during the last calendar month in which the employee worked and the six months that follow. Consult Corporation Secretary for details of most recent taxes. OSHA believes that visits to a hospital for observation or counseling are not, of and by themselves, medical treatment. Such plans would include life insurance, medical and dental insurance, disability income, and retirement programs. Universal life insurance products give the insured the right to increase or decrease the death benefit from the level originally selected as circumstances change. In such cases, the coverage is provided under a separate group insurance certificate rather than a rider. Politicians, payers, providers, and patients must work together to make it happen over the next 5 years. The active ingredient (Orlistat) blocks a percentage of fat (around 27%) from being digested and absorbed by your stomach from each and every meal. Cannabidiol, or CBD, is one of the active cannabinoids in cannabis. During this time, one can visit numerous local "pan yards" in the evenings to hear the world's premier steelband rehearsing intricate arrangements of specially commissioned competition tunes. The overpayment is another one for sellers to watch out for. They purchase tickets online and show up to the event to find out they’re holding fakes. In addition to comments about the first aid items OSHA proposed to consider first aid, a number of commenters asked for additional clarifications or recommended additions to the first aid list. Keep items in air-tight plastic bags. While many types of internet fraud can target virtually anyone with access to a computer, many are crafted specifically with the elderly in mind. Canadian Pharmacies are almost synonymous for online pharmacies.

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emilyjunk · 6 years

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Bemily going on a vegan diet (with the help of Chloe) but Emily is doing it to get healthier for worlds while Beca is doing is doing it to try to get closer to Emily and potentially ask her out (que awkward turtle Beca)

lmao this is... sort of what you asked for??? also no hate to vegans i was just rolling with the prompt lol

When Chloe first said the words “vegan diet” Beca thought she was kidding.

Really. Like can you imagine the Bellas on a collective vegan diet?? Beca really couldn’t.

But it turns out Chloe was 100% serious. Apparently one tactic her crazy brain had decided was going to help them defeat Das Sound Machine at Worlds was implementing a full dietary adjustment.

One without cheese.

Beca imagines this is what hell might be like.

Fat Amy, of course, downright rejects this idea, and it’s not like anyone can stop Amy from doing whatever the hell she wants, so. Fat Amy is free.

Beca, for her part, tries to argue, or at least persuade Chloe to let her have cheese, but Chloe shoots her those puppy dog eyes and her mouth thins into a determined line and well, Beca knows a lost cause when she sees one.

“So wait can we just not eat meat?” Cynthia Rose asks and Beca prays there’s no lesbian joke coming. “I’m already a vagitarian.”

Beca sighs.

“And dairy,” Ashley says from her place behind her laptop, already fully committed to a vegan diet herself. “And any other animal product.”

Emily, who had been contemplating their new Bella house meal schedule, looks up worriedly. “Wait so we can’t have ice cream?”

“You can have vegan ice cream,” Chloe assures her with a bright smile.

Emily doesn’t seem assured. Still, she agrees to the Bellas Go Vegan 2015 Initiative that Chloe typed up.

Yeah, it’s a literal fucking contract.

Beca feels like she might be signing her soul away when she writes her name under Stacie’s in red pen.

Beca can’t do it.

She can’t fucking do it.

It’s been three days and she hasn’t had a cheeseburger. She hasn’t had cheese. She hasn’t had even one bite of chocolate!

(Okay she did have one bite, but it was fake vegan chocolate and she almost spit it out because it seemed like a betrayal to real chocolate so like, that doesn’t count.)

Needless to say… she caves.

It’s 12:23am and she creeps down the loft stairs, tiptoes down the hallway, and sneaks down the main stairs and into the kitchen.

The Bella house is dark, every member asleep already. She feels like a spy or some kind of traitor, but to be honest, she doesn’t really care. There is a bag of shredded cheese in the fridge that literally has her name written on it (in black Sharpie, above the words NO TOUCHING).

She opens the fridge door and, quiet as a mouse (or a hamster or any other kind of small and sneaky creature), slides open the cheese drawer and grabs her cheese. Then she closes the drawer, shuts the fridge, and turns to sit at the table.

And almost screams.

In the light of the closing fridge, she just barely sees a figure sitting at the kitchen table, still as a statue. It takes her eyes a moment to readjust to the darkness, but then she makes eye contact with Emily, who is frozen in place, a spoon halfway to her mouth and a pint of ice cream on the table in front of her.

“Emily!” She hisses. “What the hell dude!”

“Sorry!” Emily squeaks, half-heartedly trying to cover her pint of ice cream with her hands. “I… I wasn’t doing anything! I was… checking to see if anyone else had eaten any!”

Beca barely holds back from snorting. “Oh my God, you cheater!”

Emily has the heart to look embarrassed for half a second before her mouth opens in disbelief. “Me? You’re creeping in here at midnight to greedily shovel cheese in your mouth!”

“Cheese is like barely anything. You have ice cream, that’s way worse!”

“Yeah, well if I’m going to break the contract then at least I’m doing it for ice cream! All you have is cheese!”

Beca opens her mouth to argue again, but then there’s the sound of a toilet flushing from upstairs and she shuts it. Emily freezes in place again, but it seems whoever it was went back to their room.

Beca breathes easily again.

“Okay,” she whispers, sitting down across from Emily at the kitchen table. “How about we just didn’t see each other here.”

“What do you mean, you’re right - oh. Ohhhh. Yeah.” Emily nods vigorously. “Yeah I was never here. I’m sleeping on the couch right now.”

“Yeah,” Beca agrees. “And I’m up in the loft trying to drown out Amy’s snoring.”

Emily giggles, smiling at Beca in the darkness. Then she takes another spoonful of ice cream, moaning a little when she puts it in her mouth.

“Why are they making us do this? Who wants to live without ice cream?”

“Who wants to live without cheese?” Beca shoots back, grabbing a pinch of shredded cheddar and pulling it out of the bag before sprinkling it into her mouth.

Sweet, wonderful, perfect cheese. How she missed it.

After a few minutes, Emily puts the top back on the ice cream carton and Beca reseals the bag of cheese. She grabs Emily’s ice cream and returns the goods to their respective spots in the fridge and freezer.

Then they say goodnight and disappear into their sections of the Bella house, quiet as ghosts, as if they were never there at all.

It becomes their secret.

They have tri-weekly rendezvous in the kitchen around midnight. Over meals, carefully prepared by Ashley and Chloe every day, they exchange knowing eye contact, quietly chewing on their vegan dinners while thinking of the time they’ll both be in the kitchen later and sneakily snacking on their forbidden delicacies.

They last almost a month before they get caught.

They’re in the kitchen like they usually are, sitting in silence and enjoying their treats. Beca has her hand in her bag of cheese when she hears it - the creaking of the stairs.

“Shit,” she hisses, and snatches Emily’s ice cream from the table. She rushes to the fridge and shoves the carton and bag of cheese in.

“What are you doing?” Emily whispers, jolting out of her seat.

“Someone’s coming! Hide!”

They look around, but they’re in the kitchen and they have maybe seconds before they’re caught standing in the dark, Emily’s ice cream covered spoon still on the table.

Basically they’re totally SOL.

“Sorry about this!” Emily squeaks and pushes Beca against the counter.

Beca has half a second to question what’s about to happen, and then Emily’s lips are on hers, just as the kitchen lights flip on.

“Oh my God!”

Emily whips around and Beca squints in the now bright light of the kitchen to see Stacie standing in the doorway.

“You sneaky little sneaks!” Stacie gasps out.

Beca’s eyes flicker to the spoon on the kitchen table, sitting in the smallest puddle of melted ice cream. Her cheeks burn from Emily’s unexpected kiss and are likely as red as Chloe’s hair. She’s sure the jig is up.

“How long have you guys been hooking up?!” Stacie steps further into the kitchen, eyes narrowed in their direction.

“Umm. You.. uh, like,” Emily stammers, but Beca seizes on the opportunity and leans into Emily’s side.

“None of your business, dude,” she gives Stacie an exaggerated scowl.

Emily’s entire body is rigid against Beca’s.

“Hmm,” Stacie says suspiciously. Then she nods, impressed. “Pinned against the counter? Wow Em I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhh,” Emily lets out and Beca nudges her. “Uh. Yeah. I mean. Beca is pretty… er. Short.”

Beca can feel Emily cringe and has to majorly refrain from rolling her eyes.

Stacie, however, just grins. “Yeah, no doubt.” She looks them over once again before moving toward the faucet. “Well, don’t let me stop you crazy kids. Just needed some water.”

They watch as she fills her water glass, winks at them, then heads out of the kitchen, flipping the light off behind her as she goes.

Emily slumps against the counter in relief, her head falling in her hands. “Oh my God, Beca, I am so sorry, I just panicked.”

Beca taps the girl awkwardly on her shoulder. “No, no,” she says. “It was a good idea. We didn’t get caught.”

“Yeah but now what? Do we have to pretend to be dating? Friends with benefits? Sex friends? OH MY GOD DO WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX?!”

Beca clamps her hand over Emily’s mouth. “Shh!”

“Sorry,” Emily mutters, the sound muffled. Beca drops her hand.

“Calm yourself, Legacy,” Beca says. “We can just, you know, play it by ear or whatever. We do not have to have sex.”

Emily nods slowly at first, then more enthusiastically. “Yeah... yeah you’re right. Maybe Stacie won’t say anything.”

Beca thinks the chances of that are as likely as Stacie never having sex again, but she nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe.” She opens the fridge and grabs the ice cream. “Do you want more of this?”

“Uh.” Emily shakes her head. “I think we’ve pushed our luck enough for one night. I’m gonna head to bed. Goodnight Beca.”

“Night,” Beca responds.

She puts the ice cream in the freezer and washes the spoon quickly. Then she heads back up to bed herself, surprisingly still thinking of the taste of chocolate ice cream on her lips.

#inquiries #bemily #beca mitchell #emily junk #my writing #pp fic #minifics #lmaooooo idek #Anonymous

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otomeshistarlight-blog · 6 years

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And so, the real questions begin!

12: Who would you kill? Yikes, coming right out of the gate swinging, huh? Okay, so, if I was hard pressed to actually choose someone to eliminate from the story, I’d have to go with either Mineta or Aoyama. Partially because neither of them play a big enough role to really effect the story much plot-wise and also because that would open up a spot in class 1-A for Shinso! Look, I don’t even stan Shinso like that but there is a very real problem with the entrance exam if Toru managed to pass but he couldn’t. Also I’m about 90% sure that he’d work harder/take his hero courses more seriously than Mineta and Aoyama combined! The point is that there are more deserving people other than those two who should be in those seats and thats all I’m saying.

13: Who would you like to marry? Hng, this is gonna’ be hard because I have a great harem to choose from and no one really stands out as the one among all these best boys. Endeavor is a great choice because, duh. Rich, famous and powerful. Can’t go wrong there. However, that would require him to divorce his current wife and I don’t know if thats something he’d ever do. Dabi doesn’t seem like the marriage type (not in the traditional sense, anyway) and I’m honestly pretty on the fence about how Mirio and I would even get along on a basic level despite the fact I do love him. Bakugou as he is now probably couldn’t handle a relationship let alone a marriage so that would definitely be something to look forward to in the future. Of course I’d be happy to help him grow and become a more grounded person but it would be quite the rocky road. So, that leaves Fat Gum and, truthfully, I think he might be the unexpected winner. Somehow the thought of meeting in our late twenties and promptly settling down into a routine with one another that is both comfortable and passionate just ... *sigh* it just sounds really fucking nice, kthx.

14: Date with? Uh, all of them. Thanks, but I know what I’m about.

15: Gaze at the stars with? Honestly? Dabi. I think he seems like the type to spout some introspective, existential-crisis-inducing shit and then follow it up with a goofy remark that brings you back to the moment. A spooky date to be sure, but a pleasant one nonetheless.

16: Fave BNHA theory? I bet everyone and their mom has the same answer as me but the Dabi-is-a-Torodoki theory has me fucking shook.The exact words out of my mouth when I first heard this was a thing was “that sounds like bullshit fanwank”. But then I read what people had to say on the matter and I was like okay, okay. They actually gave this some thought. And then I read the manga and I am just completely sold. There are simply too many little hints and coincidences for me not to subscribe to theory so here we are. If it ends up not being true, I’ll probably be the one crying the loudest tbh.

17: Fave Arc in BNHA? Geez, I don’t even know. The sports festival was pretty damn good. The rescue Bakugou arc was mind blowingly explosive. The provisional license exam was fun. I really don’t think I can pick one above the rest which is a testament to Horikoshi’s storytelling abilities.

18: Stranded on an island with? My harem of course. What kind of question even is this?

19: Fave student in Class 1-A? Bakugou. Hands down.

20: Fave student in Class 1-B? Monoma and Kendo in equal measure, I’d say.

21: Best boy? Ugh. Stop doing this to me. Three-way tie between Bakugou, Endeavor and Fat Gum.

22: Best girl? Toga and Cammie are tied for me.

23: Fave animal-related quirk? I don’t know why but Tora’s pliabody quirk just really tickles me. Of all the (at this point) cliche feline traits he could’ve gotten, it was the ability to contort his body in ridiculous ways and I just really gotta’ give Horikoshi credit for thinking outside the box.

24: Flaws of BNHA that you hate? Hmm. I suppose the only legitimate complaint I have is that, being serialized in Weekly Shounen Jump, it follows a very typical story line for this type of manga. That is to say, I think the culture festival arc would’ve been just fine without Gentle and La Barva making a shoehorned appearance. Let the kids be kids every once in a while. Each arc doesn’t have to feature a sudden villain attack of one kind or another because, at that point, it stops being a jarring event and its just a part of the status quo. I would’ve enjoyed this arc a lot more if it had focused on the actual festival and the students instead of spending so much time on a pair of villains that I, quite frankly, did not give a shit about. But its published in one of the most competitive magazines in Japan so putting the brakes on the action to shift to a more SOL pace isn’t really feasible and I get that. It still kind of sucks though.

25: Most fave class? If this is asking what I think it is, then class 1-A is the clear winner for obvious reasons.

26: Department/Team? Bakusquad is my favorite team. : p

27: Fave non-hero/villain character (civilian)? Toga with Dabi as a very close second. But considering how the fandom villainizes him, I think Endeavor is also an applicable answer to this question.

Okay, this is a lot longer than I’d anticipated so look out for part three of Otomeshi’s Shitty Opinion Corner! Coming soon!

#ask

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 6 years

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Yotsuiro Biyori 1

I memorised this show’s name as being “Rokuhoudou”, so I almost didn’t recognise it at first when CR got it! I’m only taking it on because of the SoL aspect, which I’m normally not too sold on. However, there was a lot of slice of life this past winter, so I can see this being moved to the on hold pile already…

Mitarashi (dango).

Why do I get the feeling there was something fishy (time travel, a death or something) that happened to make the Rokuhoudou the way it is? I say “time travel” because of what I read about this show on ANN.

Is it just me, or does the background around this woman look kind of flat? The bins seem pretty flat, at the very least…

I can see what the woman means when she goes “This is a café?” It sure don’t look like one, it’s more like a temple or something.

I almost expected the woman to mangle the name of the café and go “Shika-kaede-tou” or something. How do the Japanese manage to get all these kanji combo pronunciations right???

“Don’t dodge my question, you king of BS.” – Just another quotable, alongside “Just Google it, asshole.” (Boueibu HK)

I thought the latte art was a dog at first, but yeah, if I look at it differently, it’s a bunny!

Kusamochi. By the way, I was thinking this show is really charming. Sure, I had more than enough Cute Boys Doing Cute Things in the winter, but these guys have quite the rapport. Now if only I could figure out what their names are (properly)…

Wait, so did that board/sheet/whatever inside that inspired Redhead refer to Kinako (cat) or kinako?

Lemme get this straight – black hair is Tokitaka, brown hair (latte) is Gure, desserts boy is…shoot, I don’t know…Update: Gure has black hair, not brown. It’s just shorter than Tokitaka’s.

I got no Google hits for Koubai pink, but Yurushiiro pink I did…so here you go. Yurushiiro pink was a pink that wasn’t banned by the emperor of Japan back in the day where he had more power. It seems to be a shade somewhat similar to cherry blossoms.

Tokiiro pink = rose gold and Yoshino cherry white = a pinkish-white.

Nerikiri is a type of wagashi.

Some of the subs got cut off! Grr, CR! So, here’s my attempt to translate what they have on that board of Redhead’s: after “butterflies”, there’s “plum” (ume), “bamboo shoots” (take no ko) and “new leaves” (wakaba). CR definitely used a longer word combo in place of “new leaves” though, so I could be wrong. That writing’s pretty scribbly, after all.

Redhead is Tsubaki (see? I have a horrendous memory when it comes to learning things for the first time)…so who am I missing?

Sakuramochi. It’s that grainy sort of pink, leaf-bound mochi you often see in shows like this.

Gure seems to like his Italian, doesn’t he? Is he half-foreign or is this just being a fan of the language of pasta?

“…think about the spring sunshine.” – So why the cat background?

Okay, I’ve found whose name I’ve forgotten. Sui (brunette).

Tokishirazu salmon. LOL, that salmon’s perfect for Tokitaka!

I don’t think they showed the chopstick holder earlier, but it’s a heart. It really is cute!

Interestingly, this woman brings to mind the idea of meiwaku when she says that it was her fault.

Oh, they weren’t heart shaped, they were cherry blossom shaped! That makes a lot more sense! (The shapes are similar though…)

Makunouchi bento…that sounds familiar, for some reason.

Hanami dango. I’m sure you know them, even if you’re not familiar with the name...so long as you’ve watched enough anime to see them at least once.

Ah, I bet Gure is a happy drunk, LOL.

Hah? There’s Sui (when he was younger)? Not in this episode, no…There was also a Tsubasa Fujita who was voiced by Hibiku Yamamura. I assume that’s the woman we were following today, but it might’ve been her friend or someone in a later episode…

Manjyu chazuke. I had to use the Japanese words to get some hits (as opposed to the romaji I just used), but whoever said that thing about Ougai seems to be correct.

Omusubi seems to be another name for onigiri.

Sencha.

That seems like less of a drop than I first thought...it’s going to be tough to cut down on all these shows. I’m clearly being affected by how much I opened up my watchlist, because remember those days where I’d only take on two shows a season?

Kakuriyo 2

Wow, the oni really has it in for her now...or is it really that hard to get a true read of him?

I somehow wagered the tengu was going to remind Aoi of her old man a few seconds before she did just that. That’s a bad sign...

Would a tengu have been too heavy to fly if it were drowning?

Seriously, this tengu never thinks of flying. I’m laughing, but I’ve realised this show’s strength seems to be its humour more than anything.

The airship has the kanji for “Ten” (from Tenjinya).

The pace of this show goes like molasses, so I think I’ll put it on hold here.

Lupin III Pt V 2

“Did you finally start caring about the environment?”

Holy helicopters, Batman! The AW609...exists!

“...Lupin used to escape!”

They’re being chased and yet still have time for hotpot, LOL. Never change, Lupin. Never change.

I never thought Iâd see the day where a situation like the one Amiâs in could ever be talked out of in anime. Normally a scenario like that one is played for drama...

I guess even Lupin has a moe instinct, LOL.

That social media service looks a lot like Twitter, eh?

Apparently Shinpei Mayama is new this episode...Keep watching.

The Flea? He looks more like a hikikomori monster to me, LOL. (Boueibu reference, don’t mind me...)

I get the feeling I should know these people that are all showing up, but I feel like I don’t need to know about their backstories to appreciate them going forward. Thus, I will keep this show. Once again though, it’s a tentative keeper.

Saredo 2

I’m zoning out...I need to drop this show, don’t I?...

Soleil? Is that Gayus’s surname? (Basically, I got roped back into watching it with one reveal, LOL. I’m such a finicky person.)

One Hundred Ways to Train Your Dragon, more like it, LOL.

Oh great. Every time they have a religious figure, the show always seems to go downhill...(thinks back to Vatican Miracle Examiner)

Wow, “pessimistically optimistic”. That’s quite the paradox!

The power of politics is to back up one voice with lots of voices, so...uh...about that, Cardinal Mouldeen...

“Come on, you slaves of authority.” - LOL. What a name.

“[Gigina’s] a sword dancer...” - Oh, so that’s why sinners dance with the dragons! A “dancer” is a magician in this world.

Okay, seriously. How did I not see how bad this show was in the first episode? If your side characters are more developed than your main ones, you’ve got a problem.

I’ve never seen a man more dedicated to fantasy-style IKEA than Gigina, LOL. At least that’s fresh.

I don’t think I even want to document this for later, but who the heck is Diorg?

I completely regret praising the rapport between Gayus and Gigina now. You can have some great convos when one member of the convo’s drunk, but this is a bit of a mess of a convo, tbh.

Even without the big names, I suspected the woman was connected to the black dragon...

This is a show where property damage counts, right? Gayus’ll throw a fit later, eh?

Okay, I think I’ve complained about this show way too much. Once I start seeing something in a negative light I start to sound really critical, and a lot of the time it’s actually not as rewarding as hatewatches should be, which is why I haven’t tackled anything for hatewatch purposes yet. It’s just a fun-sucker, if that’s the case, and that was definitely the case with this show.

BnHA 40

Wait, why is the camera-oh, it’s just Mineta. Get off the audience’s case, Mineta.

Is it just me, or is it that every time I read “Wild, Wild Pussycats” I get this song in my head?

I love how the Pussycats are basically magical girls with those poses!

How did they not censor Dragon Quest??? (LOL)

Aizawa likes cats? That’s new, but it’s also very in line with what we know of him already.

Oh, I see. She’s a Christmas cake!

What does GG stand for in that context, huh? “you GG bastard”, hmm...

Between BnHA and Tiramisu, you’re definitely in luck if you like muscular boys!

I feel like Kota’s a hypocrite. After all, he’s at his aunt’s and his aunt is a rescue hero...

Kota is very much like Midoriya in a few ways, don’tcha think?

Kota’s name has a lot of water in it, doesn’t it? (Both kanji in his name have water radicals.)

Boueibu HK 2

For some reason, Wakura actually seems happy about his outfit...even though he criticises it.

I’m kind of confused about that “hammer and pigeon” thing myself, although hato = pigeon which you can vaguely hear in Furanui’s sentence.

I love Wakura’s serious face...seriously, I need to figure out who best boy is soon, eh?

LOL, I said platypus was kamonohashi, yeah? Kamo can mean duck and it can be short for “maybe” (kamoshirenai).

Wahey, Binanshi Contest! Was it no. 1704 last ep as well?

Well, spoilers beat me on this one, but Tawarayama was a principal after the other guy...but then what are the HK DC gonna do about an advisor?

Ehhhhhhh? This I didn’t see! Shuzenji calls Ata by that name!

The student council room hasn’t changed at all, I see.

“Get fat!” - Wow...(LOL)

Calling it now - Unazuki is a yes man. Very Arima-like...

Strangely, Maasa’s sentence doesn’t specify Furanui is “shrimpy” at all. He just calls Furanui “this thing” (konna).

Does this mean Maasa has a thing for cool belly dancer guys? Hmm? Or is it just the magic he’s impressed with?

That board on the wall of the student council room hasnât changed at all, which is what tipped me off to my earlier comment.

Ritter = knight. So our ES are Diamond, Rose Quartz and Amethyst. There’s not as much of a pattern going through these guys as there was with the CA, but it’ll have to do.

Oh wow, that summary took almost half an episode! No wonder the DC ran off!

The massage thing really calls to mind the manga...

108 is a Buddhist number. I wonder if thereâs any significance to that...

July 18th? Boy, another July baby (thnks back to En)...

Getanha are cakes from Kagoshima, where the Kirishima onsen is.

Lorbeerprinz says ”druck” is pressure...but...well, I never thought I’d see the day I regretted not learning German, that’s all. Sorry. I got nothing on this.

This shabu shabu stuff reminds me of the chikuwabu talk in LOVE! s1 ep 1. (nostalgia washes over everyone)

They definitely upped their 4th walling this season, eh? First the layout artist thing, now this “cut off by the frameâ” thing.

The river I’d assume is the Sanzu (river you have to cross before you die) and I guess the flowerbed has to do with that. Kyotaro is Fiore Kiss though...which seems somewhat ironic.

At least they’re fully clothed prior to this transformation...but I didn’t mind seeing them transform from their birthday suits last episode, either...

What is that? *squints* It appears to be Taiju’s phone. Atsushi’s last season was green so I can see why this one’s plum.

Applying self destruct boosters is a lot easier than it looks. (thinks to Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, where cake makes a character explode)

There’s a list of ground rules, including “let’s protect morals and manner”...whatever “manner” is. I guess the Furanui Knights, who aren’t actually on the ground, wouldn’t be subjected to “ground rules”, eh?

This one was clearly a case of “didn’t think of something for himself”, huh...

Do they have hot baths in Honyara Land???

Kamopapa’s VA was someone with the surname “Nishimura”...gotta look this guy up later, I guess. Seeing the actual visuals of the ED for once is so exciting, though!

The statement on the scroll in the back means “scholarship and the martial arts”, which is just another way of saying Ata’s a perfect student and is continually striving to be one.

Maasa’s hair antenna is a heart in the ED. That’ll get him charm points for sure.

Lookit them badass swords! They even have corresponding gems on them!

A-ha! I thought the final defeat song was Happy Ready. These marketing guys are too predictable...

For some reason, this ED is a lot more Detective Conan than the last one. I can’t quite put my finger on why though...

This next ep preview’s the best! I wanna quote it! “You know how there are things you see every day, but you don’t actually know what they’re called, so you just say “the thing” or “the whatever-it-is”? The next episode’s about that sort of stuff.” Update: It really is about that sort of stuff, this preview’s just uber-vague...

Mahou Shoujo Ore 3

Wow, they’re really leaning on the 4th wall this week, aren’t they?

The lyrics by and large really don’t make sense, so I feel quite thankful I’m not listening to the audio track right now, LOL.

(at “This way, squirrel!”) What in animals’ name is this Pokemon? (LOL)

Hey, uh...is it just me or did both magical boy shows opt for the flashbacks this week, too?

What’s the age difference between Sakuyo and Mohiro? Kid!Mohiro doesn’t look older than 12 here.

“Thus concludes Sakuyo’s Thrilling First Love.”

One thing I’ve noticed with lots of magical girls is that they have earrings. Arima (Boueibu) had them, but these guys do too.

“...looks so much like Mohiro-chan...” - Now that I look at Sakuyo’s magical boy form, he does kinda look like Mohiro eyes-wise...

God of Conquests? That refers to the main character of The World ____ Only ______, right?...Yup, I think so!

Have we been watching the same fight scene for almost an episode? Geez, flashbacks.

Can I like Mohiro-chan too? Because this eyecatch completely sold me!

The pixelation’s probably going to give me motion sickness one of these days (exaggerating), but if they overuse it, I’m definitely gonna go on about it.

Max Heart? I wonder if Astral’ll get it? I sure do, but I don’t know if he will.

I think I spotted a chick design on Mohiro’s jumper...?

Wow! Self-deprecation, much? (somewhat sarcastic) (The magazine this series ran in deals with BL, according to the blog header here. Mahou Shoujo Ore flip flops over that boundary, so you can see how it got into it...)

”Wherever there’s a magical girl, that’s where you’ll find me!” (Or should that be plural?)

Oh no, don’t even try going there, Sakuyo (laughing as I type this)...thank goodness they didn’t compare their...uh, hand grip. Yeah, the strength of their hand grip! (sweat sweat)

What was Saki drinking, wine? (somewhat sarcastic, somewhat skeptical)

Asano Shinbun is a parody of the Asahi Shinbun, one of the 5 biggest publications in Japan in regards to newspapers.

If you don’t remember from Mob Psycho 100, “mob” in this case means “just another face in the crowd”. Like the name ”Jane Doe” in English. The henohenomoheji style is a distinctive touch, though.

They’re being serious about the TV appearance thing? Never would’ve thought that, considering how that was a parody of Superman changing outfits in a telephone booth. Either that or some other superhero...

Golden Kamuy 2

Those pinecones sure look like prawns to me...

Ooh! OP! much hype, such wow. Also, a Man With a Mission OP is definitely something to keep an ear out for.

(in the OP) The letterboxing effect is cool here.

Sugimoto’s asking about tattoos because people with tatts wouldn’t be allowed into baths. At least, that’s the rule nowadays...

Karafuto.

This guy reminds me of Kaiji...or Akagi...or whatever the guy’s name is.

Gah, enough with the fire! This isn’t Blingee, for gold diggers’ sake!

Well, at least Sugimoto and Asirpa can take the skin nowâ...

The Ainu cooking show strikes again. Not that I’m complaining about it, it’s strangely interesting in an odd way. Not to mention the action mitigates any weirdness these parts might give the show.

Squirrel brain. Never in my life would I have dared to type thatâ¦until now. (Or eat it, but please don’t make me harm cute squirrels...)

I think Iâ’ve seen so many Shokugeki no Souma parodies/variations, I kind of expect every (pseudo-?)cooking show to do something like it. The fact Golden Kamuy didn’t do it surprised me in that way.

This guy! He did a Valentine’s promo for the show! His nameâ’s Shiraishi!

What a regular Houdini, eh?

This show is so comical in such a way you’d never see in another show. I love it.

Shiraishi with a raccoon on his head, LOL.

#simulcast commentary #boueibu #boueibu hk #binan koukou chikyuu boueibu happy kiss!#binan koukou chikyuu boueibu happy kiss #golden kamuy #mahou shoujo ore #rokuhoudou yotsuiro biyori #saredo tsumibito wa ryuu to odoru #dances with the dragons #Lupin III #kakuriyo no yadomeshi #boku no hero academia #Chesarka watches BnHA #Chesarka watches Yotsuiro Biyori #Chesarka watches MSO #Happy Kiss anime #Chesarka watches the Lupin series Pt 5

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bulblaw37-blog · 4 years

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stupendoustaleobservation · 5 years

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Breakfast is important

Breakfast is important تندرستی ہزار نعمت ہے ،اس حقیقت سے کوئی انکار نہیں کرسکتا۔اچھی صحت کا زیادہ انحصار غذائیت بخش غذا پر ہوتا ہے ،لہٰذا صبح کا نا شتا ،دو پہر کا کھانا اور رات کا کھانا متوازن غذا پر مشتمل ہونا چا ہیے۔تینوں وقت کے کھانوں میں نا شتا پورے دن کے لیے بہت اہمیت کا حامل ہوتا ہے ۔ناشتے کی اہمیت کو اجا گر کرنے کے لیے ایک امریکی مصنف ایڈیلے ڈیوس کا یہ قول ہی کافی ہے:”ناشتا کسی بادشاہ کی طرح کرو،دوپہر کا کھانا شہزادے کی طرح اور رات کا کھانا مزدور کی طرح کھاؤ۔ “ جو افراد غذائیت سے بھر پور ناشتا کرتے ہیں ،وہ سارا دن ہشاش بشاش رہتے ہیں ۔جو افراد ناشتا نہیں کرتے یا ان کا ناشتا غیر صحت بخش ہوتا ہے ،وہ عموماً تھکے ہوئے ،ذہنی دباؤ کا شکار اور اعصابی تناؤ میں مبتلا رہتے ہیں ۔ موجودہ دور میں زندگی بہت تیز رفتار ہو گئی ہے ۔اہداف کی تکمیل ،بہت سارے کام اور ان کے لیے انتہائی محدود وقت ،ان سب باتوں کی وجہ سے ہم سب ہی اکثر وبیشتر ذہنی دباؤ کا شکار ہو جاتے ہیں اور یہ دباؤ ہماری صحت پر منفی اثرات مرتّب کرتا ہے۔ جب ذہنی دباؤ بڑھتا ہے تو اس سے نمٹنے کے لیے انسانی جسم دوطرح کے ہارمونوں کا اخراج کرتا ہے، جنھیں ایڈر ینا لین(ADRENALIN)اور کارٹی سول(CORTISOL)کا نام دیا گیا ہے۔ یہ دونوں ہارمون ایک طرح سے دباؤ اور تناؤ کے خلاف مزاحمت کا کام کرتے ہیں ۔اگر یہ دباؤ مسلسل رہے تو انسان وقت سے پہلے بوڑھا ہو سکتا ہے ۔ آپ یقینا کبھی نہیں چاہیں گے کہ جلد بوڑھے ہو جائیں یا آپ پر مستقل تھکن طاری رہنے لگے،کیوں کہ اس صورت میں آپ کسی بیماری کا شکار بھی ہو سکتے ہیں ۔اگر جسم زیادہ ہارمون پیدا کرے گا تو اس کا نتیجہ مٹا پے کی صورت میں ظاہر ہوسکتا ہے ،اس کے علاوہ ذیا بیطس قسم دوم اور یادداشت کی کم زوری کا عارضہ بھی لا حق ہو سکتا ہے ۔ اب سوال یہ پیدا ہوتا ہے کہ ناشتے میں کیا کھانا چاہیے؟آپ ہمیشہ ایسا ناشتا کریں ،جو بھر پور غذائیت پر مشتمل ہو ،مثلا ً دودھ ،انڈا ،دہی ،دلیا ،روٹی اور پھل ۔جدید تحقیق کے مطابق کدو کے بیج اور کیلا میگنیز ےئم سے بھر پور ہوتے ہیں ،لہٰذا یہ آپ کے کھنچے ہوئے عضلات ڈھیلا کرنے میں مدد گار ثابت ہوتے ہیں اور انھیں کھانے سے بے خوابی سے بھی نجات مل جاتی ہے ۔ انڈا ،دودھ ،دہی ،ڈبل روٹی اور کدو کے بیج حیاتین ب (وٹامن بی) کے حصول کا بھی بہترین ذریعہ ہیں ۔یہ ذہنی دباؤ کو ختم کرنے میں بھی مدد گار ثابت ہوتے ہیں ۔انڈے اور دہی میں امینو تیزاب (AMINO ACID)ہوتا ہے ۔ یہ تیزاب انسانی دماغ میں استعمال ہونے والا ایک کیمیائی جزو”سیروٹونن“(SEROTONIN)بناتا ہے۔ ا س جزو کے بارے میں کہاجاتا ہے کہ یہ غصے اور افسردگی کے جذبات کو قابو میں رکھتا ہے اور اس کی بلند سطح ہمیں خوشی کا احساس بخشتی ہے ۔یہی وجہ ہے کہ اسے خوشی کا ہارمون بھی کہاجاتا ہے۔ گندم اور مکئی سے بنائی گئی اشیا ،مثلاً ڈبل روٹی وغیرہ جس میں بھوسی شامل کی گئی ہو ،ریشے اور نشاستے سے بھرپور ہوتی ہیں ۔یہ اشیا خون میں موجود شکر کی سطح کو قابو میں رکھتی ہیں ،جس کے باعث تھکن کا احساس نہیں ہوتا اور ہماری توجہ اپنے کاموں پر مرکوز رہتی ہے ۔جَو کا دلیا ناشتے میں ایک اچھی غذا ہے ۔جَو کے دلیے میں ایسا نشاستہ ہوتا ہے ،جو رفتہ رفتہ دیگر اجزا کے ساتھ مل جاتا ہے ۔ اس کا فائدہ یہ ہوتا ہے کہ خون میں شکر کی سطح اعتدال میں رہتی ہے اور جسم کو صبح سویرے توانائی کی اچھی خاصی مقدار مل جاتی ہے۔دہی میں کیلسئیم ہوتا ہے اور یہ لحمیات (پروٹینز)سے بھی مالا مال ہوتا ہے۔ جدید تحقیق کے مطابق ناشتے میں لحمیات زیادہ مقدار میں لینے سے دیر تک بھوک نہیں لگتی ۔اس طرح دو پہر کے کھانے تک ہمیں کوئی الّم غلّم شے کھانے کی ضرورت پیش نہیں آتی اور ہم تن دہی کے ساتھ اپنے کام نمٹانے میں مصروف رہتے ہیں ۔ آج کل بہت سی خواتین ملازمت بھی کرتی ہیں اور ان میں سے بیشتر ملازمتوں کی نوعیت کچھ ایسی ہوتی ہے کہ جنھیں انجام دینے کے لیے بیک وقت کئی چیزوں پر توجہ مرکوز رکھنی پڑتی ہے ،اس لیے ذہنی اور جسمانی طور پر چاق چوبند رہنے کی ضرورت ہوتی ہے ۔جسم میں پانی کی کمی ہوتو اس کا اثر انسانی تو جہ پر پڑتا ہے ۔پانی کی مناسب مقدار،پھلوں کے رس اور چاے سے اس کی کمی کوپورا کیا جا سکتا ہے ۔دن بھر کی بھاگ دوڑ کے لیے ہمیں توانائی کی سطح کو برقرار رکھنا مشکل ہوتا ہے ۔ ا س مشکل کو دور کرنے کا سب سے بہتر طریقہ متوازن اور بھر پور ناشتے کے سوا کچھ نہیں ۔ہمارا جسم ساری رات آرام کرتا ہے اور نیند کے دوران نشوونما بھی پاتا ہے ۔یہی وجہ ہے ک صبح کے وقت اسے توانائی حاصل کرنے کے لے ایندھن کی ضرورت ہوتی ہے ۔خالی پیٹ رہنے سے روز مرّہ کے معمولات انجام دینا ممکن نہیں ہوتا ۔اس سے ہماری صحت بری طرح متاثر ہوسکتی ہے ،اس لیے آپ خود بھی اچھا ناشتا کرنے کو معمول بنائیں اور بچوں کے علاوہ گھر کے دیگر افراد کو بھی بھر پور ناشتا کرنے کا مشورہ دیں ۔ There is a lot of thousands of blessings, no one can deny this fact. The health of more health depends on nutritional food, so there is no breakfast, lunch and dinner for a healthy diet. Disadvantaged foods are very important for the whole day. This is the view of an American author Adelaide Davis to spoil the significance of nutrition: "Breakfast as a king, lunch like prince And eat dinner as a laborer. " Those people who have nutrition full of breakfast are all overlooked. Those who do not have breakfast or their breakfast are unhealthy, usually tired, mental stress and nervous stress. Life has become very fast at the present time. Due to the fulfillment of God, many things and limited time for them, all of us often suffer mental stress over all, and this pressure on our health Negative effects In order to cope with mental stress when the human pressure increases, the human body eliminates two hormones, which are named Adrenalin and Carti Sol (CORTISOL). These two hormones work in a way to resist stress and stress .If this pressure persists, then humans can be old before time. You will never really want to get older or stay awakened, because in this case you may suffer from any disease. If the body produces more hormones, the result may appear in the form of erosion, as well as lesser than two types of remedies and remedies can also be a minority. Now the question is that what should I eat for breakfast? You always have breakfast, which consist of nutritional nutrition, such as milk, egg, yogurt, potatoes, bread and fruit. According to research, seeds of pudding and banana Magnesium is full of sums, so they are helpful in helping you loosen your muscles and they also get relief from eating unhealthy. The seeds of eggs, milk, dairy, double bread and pumpkin are also the best way to achieve the biotechnology B (Vitamins B) .This also helps in eliminating mental stress. Amino acid in the egg and dhee (AMINO ACID) happens . This acid creates a chemical component used in the human brain, "Sextonin" (SEROTONIN). It is said about the ingredients that it controls the emotions of anger and depression, and its high level is a source of joy. That's why she is called hormone as well. Items made from wheat and corn, such as double bread etc., which include hungry, fiber and starch - These items control blood sugar levels, which does not cause fatigue. And our attention focuses on our actions. It is a good diet in your breakfast. Which is such a bad thing, which is rarely combined with other ingredients. The advantage of this is that blood sugar levels remain moderate, and the body gets very good amount of energy in the morning. The car contains calcium and it is also rich with proteins. According to modern research, taking more quantity of alcohol in breakfast does not seem hungry for a long time. In this way, we do not need to eat food items for two lunch and we are busy engaging in our work. Today, many women also do jobs, and most of them have the nature of jobs that are concentrating on many things to perform at once, so that they need to be unclean and physically unclean. Is . If there is a decrease in water in the body, its effect is on the human side. The amount of fat, fruit juice and rice can be reduced to the body .Using us to maintain energy level It's difficult. The best way to overcome the difficulty is nothing but balanced and full of breakfast. Our body rest all night and gets sleep during sleep. That is why she needs to take fuel to get energy during the morning .Your stomach is not possible to perform daily routines .This can affect our health badly, so you also have a good breakfast. Make routine and recommend other children in addition to children as well. Read the full article

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thatguysamaniac-blog · 4 years

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Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield are out, and have been for a while and although the Official That Guy's A Maniac Review(tm) has yet to come out, suffice to say we've both ploughed a heckuva lot of hours into it, especially the online components and it's good. It's very good. However, before we take a deeper dive in a review let's look at who made the final cut. We wrote about 'Dexit' in the run up to release but now the games are out let's take a look at who is in and who is out. A bit of SPOILERS housekeeping first, we won't be talking about any of the new pokémon just which ones of the first 809 made the cut but there are some minor spoilers about pokémon with new forms so if you're still keeping yourself clean, look away now. Here's a handy chart of who is in and who is out at the time of writing. Look at it in amazement/despair. If you've ever played and liked a previous pokémon game, there's bound to be at least one or two you're astounded to see didn't make it in. Some codey fiddlers have discovered that it looks like a few more will be available over time and when Pokémon Home eventually releases but for the time being we're just talking about what's available in-game now. White squares means they're out, green means they're in and dark green means they've got a Galar new form. We'll be taking it in turns to pour several out for our lost pocket friends. You can play along at home by printing out this handy chart and crossing them off as we go! Who Deed? Cunzy1 1: Right let's get the biggie out of the way first. None of the starters apart from the Charizard line are in this game. Personally, it doesn't break my heart, especially all the shite dual typers but I can understand that a lot of people will mourn the 'mon they started their whole pokémon adventure with not being in this game. Richie: Only 400 made it this gen, including new ones. meaning over half have been culled including my bae, Lopunny! my oversexualised female pokemon team will never be realised in Sword/Shield :( apparently Pikachu killed her, skinned her and is now wearing her skin a la Silence of the Lambs "Would you Thundershock me?, I'd Thundershock me?" *tucks genitals between legs* Cunzy1 1: ALL THE FOSSILS ARE OUT! Yes. They were annoying version exclusives. Yes, they were annoying to breed as shinies. Yes, archeops' ability is debilitating. Rock types have suffered a significant loss. This is an affront to God. Is THIS the end of the road for Omastar? Richie: I think I will miss Klefki, of all the beauty-and-the-beast-esque inanimate objects brought to life I feel best about that priority move busting key ring. Cunzy1 1: Rip in peace pink fatties- jiggs 'n' wiggs, chansey 'n' bliss, lick'n'lik, miltank even alomomola. I guess we'll have to get our big exp boosts somewhere else. Extra sad to see jigglypuff not make the cut. Rest now puff, rest now. You've earned it. Richie: All of the Box fodder Legendaries, Mythologicals, and Ultrabeasts. Like you all know that using these are cheaty, and regardless of how many times you soft reset the game to favourable stats, does not justify their viability... plus Quite happy not to have to find 3 legendary birds/dogs/coconuts/dogs whatever again and again ad nausium Cunzy1 1: Also out, most of those rubbish bug types, grass two stagers and that pigeon and that rat one from most of the games. Goodbye venomoth, masquerain, happy butterfree, sad butterfree, that wormadam one and gosh we can't be bothered with forms anymore vivillon. As for the grass types bellend, hiphop anonymous, sunkist, punchy mushroom, other cactus man, venus flytrap man, bug blanket, grass monkey, flower lady and other other flower lady is gone. We shan't mourn ya. As for rattata, fat rat, beaver rat, eye rat, trump rat, pigeon, other pigeon, other other pigeon, other other pigeon are out. The pigeon pigeon is still in however and zigzag rat gets some love. Who Not Deed? Cunzy1 1: Gen fucking five that's who. Look at that chunk of green. We all know it's the worst generation right? Right? Richie: Thank fuck Musharna is in! I was so worried we wouldn't have the foetus pokemon. But I guess cutting it means that Gamefreak are Pro-Lifers. Scum. Cunzy1 1: Someone at NintendoPokemonCompanyGameFreak hates rock types this is 100% proof nobody can deny it, if they do they are a liar too. If you had to write down a list of the best rock types ranked best at the top and worst at the bottom and then choose the bottom half to put in this game you'd get the sol duo, sudowoodo, shuckle, corsola, onix and crustle and nobody can argue with me and I'm empirically right and tyrannitar is okay I guess and I like barbaracle but plenty don't. Crustle is fine. Richie: Gamefreak like to thrust their eevee phallus in you, all 15 million of them. Eevee is forced down our throats and into the spotlight as their flavour of the weak PoI. Obnoxiously very little has changed short of getting a dynamax form if you have the Let's Go save file on your switch, same Evos... a let down. Cunzy1 1: Basculin. Good ol' basculin. Richie: Right, to be honest there is no end to the mon's we can see that made the cut, mediocre rarely used, super un-viable 'mons that have just lived in the shadow of a 'mon that just did it better for generations. Who asked for Beheeyem? It definitely felt that the top tier mons have been removed, bye Dragonite, Bye Salamence. Does this mean more balance to the force? Will we see NU move to OU, or just have teh OU decimate, (glances at Gyrados)... Remember to like and subscribe, donate on Ko-Fi, and on Patreon, remember that triple diamond subscribers get special scratch and sniff calendars with pictures of us using our latest sponsored sex toys we use whilst dressed up as latest meme characters from video games in between streams to pay the bills,. The perfect Xmas gift for all the family. 1's in the chat if you are getting one for your granny. Who Different? Cunzy1 1: If you ever meet someone who says "Gosh darn it I'd love it if meowth had four forms, two evolutions and one of those evolutions had two forms" that person is ill. That person is sick and likely has ingested poison. Brain processing poison. But in their dying moments, they'd be happy with the 'pikachu treatment' this line is getting though and presumably they'll be spending a significant chunk of their playtime deciding who the sixth pokémon on their nothing but meowth team would be. I'm just joking, it would be a shiny meowth or meowth evolution. Richie: Stunfisk... Wow the forme change nobody asked for, and Mr Mime, he's different but equally as detestable, good work. Cunzy1 1: Furry-bait pokemon took a big hit but fear not, linoone and a new long tongued emo badger evolution will be the subject of badly drawn fan art for centuries to come. Richie: Lets deep dive in to old knobby baws Darmantian. Why does this exist, like before it kinna made sense it was based on a Daruma doll, but now its a snowman.. I.. I just dont like this design, I cant get on board with it. Cunzy1 1: Okay, I'm well aware I was just slagging corsola off up there but the new form is fantastic. Great idea as a climate revenge pokémon. Poignant even. Richie: Cofagrigus, my favorite defendy-baws annoyer. He has a new forme where he has become a slab of rock with a "rune" on it, sure lets just give him Ground typing... that will ...*squints eyes*... make him ..*raises pitch*... better? Cunzy1 1: Farfetch'd. New form, same old no viability. Richie: Dunsparce, you know we all heard the rumors, of forme changes and/or Dunsparce evolutions. But alas no 'sparce-ing for us this game *sad dunsparce face*

http://www.thatguys.co.uk/2020/01/pokemon-sword-and-shield-pokedex-who-is.html

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fableweaver · 6 years

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Arc of the Lonely Astronomer

Zaire sat in bed staring down at the man asleep next to her. Xavier was breathing in deeply, his face smoothed of his usual scowl. He was perfectly handsome, his elven features made more exotic by his long delicate ears. He was a man who was like Atlas, cursed with a dark magic, and a killer. He had attacked her, nearly raped her, and she had seen him kill another man with ease. He was wanted she was sure, for what crimes she could not imagine, and an escaped slave. And he was the bastard of the last Aldan High King, with a claim to the throne that had taken thousands of lives to put a king upon its seat.

He was also a member of the House of Lonelove, the second most powerful house of mages. A dead house however. Besides Varas there were few other Loneloves, a few distant cousins of lesser powers. Varas’ closest relative was a niece living in the Court of Fortune in Xin, and a second cousin he had named his heir though the lad was barely old enough to walk. Zaire hadn’t even known Varas had a daughter, but it wasn’t unusual for a house to hide members if they were illegitimate or like her low in power.

Xavier was a successor of great power, both magically and politically, and all the dangers those entitled.

But actions spoke louder than all these facts. He had set her free, shown her what had been stolen from her so violently, and treated her kindly. Despite living in her apartment all this time he had cleaned and organized all her papers and notes, he even added his own insights. As a mage he was powerful, more powerful than he realized Zaire was sure. He drew sigils with such ease and power Zaire was sure he was holding himself back lest he show his true power.

He only bore four sigils of enhancement, two of strength, one of speed, and one of stamina. His Aldan blood certainly gave him all these traits in strength more than any man, the sigils only made him even more powerful physically.

The sun peeked in from her curtains and Zaire sighed, knowing it was time to get dressed and go. She paused a moment and leaned down to give Xavier a soft kiss. His breathing changed beat and he opened his eyes, such a deep indigo that Zaire thought they almost had a glow to them.

He sat up, his eyes lingering on her naked body. She blushed, still unsure why he looked at her so deeply. She wasn’t much to look at, wide hips and fat. All her life she had been called ugly, though she had to admit she wasn’t hideous. Her coloring made her displeasing enough, pale skin that was usually red and blotchy, pale blonde hair with little life, and mahogany eyes.

“Good morning,” he said mildly. She mumbled a response as he leaned over and kissed her on the neck.

“I have to get dressed,” she said softly, shivering as his lips moved down her shoulder.

“Alright,” he said sounding disappointed. Zaire stood and searched around for her robes, having just tossed them off last night. Xavier watched her the whole time from the bed, sitting with only the corner of the blanket to cover himself.

She dressed and found her various spectacles. She still wore her average spectacles; she was so near sighted she could hardly see without them. She had two other pairs, one for seeing sigils drawn in power as her own power was too weak for the mage sight, and another pair to see stars clearly. She turned then to see Xavier had dressed as well in the borrowed slave clothes she had gotten for him.

“I have some deliveries to make and then I will go to the docks again,” Zaire said. He simply nodded, Zaire unable to read his expression. “I’ll be back for lunch.”

“I’ve bread and water,” he answered with a shrug. “I’m starting to feel like your pet cat.”

“Sorry,” she said feeling bad that he could not leave her tiny rooms.

“It isn’t your fault,” he said as he shrugged. But she knew it was her fault that he had been here so long, she had been dragging her feet in finding passage for him. She gathered her papers and put them in her satchel, turning to leave. Xavier moved faster than she thought possible, taking her into his arms and giving her a very deep kiss that made her weak in the knees. They parted, Zaire’s glasses steamed up.

“Be careful,” he whispered before letting her go. Zaire’s face was burning as she left two bright spots on her cheeks. She left the building; few were up and about at the crack of dawn. Her deliveries went mainly about the neighborhood, to servants or into mail slots since the mages that needed the sigils or research were still abed. It was Sol’s Day, but here in Dridia few paid much attention to the holiday. Other than a few wealthy parties there wouldn’t be many festivities. For most it was a day like any other.

She was well known to the servants and many were polite, though with a respectful air that kept them apart from her. Before she met Xavier that had been fine, even the smallest physical contact had activated the sigil within her. Now she realized how lonely her life really became, she had no friends or lovers, and all her immediate family was dead. No one had noticed the recent change in her life simply because there was no one close enough to her to notice. All this made the thought of Xavier leaving take her breath away.

She finished and stopped by a bakery to get a sweet roll, eating it on her way down into the docks. Here there was more life and sound as average dock workers went about their business. She got odd looks from some of the men, Zaire guessing they thought she was out of place. She had been talking to almost every person she could asking who she would ask about passage, many gave her false answers that took her days to unravel.

She had at last learned to talk to the port authority, and learned she could not do this. Xavier needed to leave without anyone knowing, and that meant avoiding any type of authority. There were other methods, but it was taking Zaire a long time to figure out who to talk to.

“Milady!” Someone was shouting and Zaire didn’t realize they meant her until the man came running up to her. “Milady I’ve heard you are looking for passage.” The man was Lirian, his silky hair well-oiled and mustache limp across his upper lip. He was dressed as a well-funded merchant, colorful Lirian silks seeming almost gaudy on his thin frame.

“From who?” Zaire asked warily.

“A few drinking friends, they’ve overheard your inquiries,” the man said with a bow in the Lirian traditional greeting. “My name is Chang of Renza; I am a merchant of Xinian spices and Hyrian herbs.”

“I am looking for discretion Mister Chang,” Zaire said warily. “I am not sure I should deal with a man who eavesdrops on other’s conversations.”

“I am a man of many friends milady,” he said with a smooth smile. “And as a merchant know the ins and outs of transport. I assure you of not only my discretion, but my skill as well.”

Zaire was unsure if she could trust this man, he seemed like a greased snake. But she had no other choices to her other than asking around.

“Very well,” she said and the man grinned, missing several teeth.

“This way milady I do not do business in the street,” he said starting away before she could object. Zaire followed him warily her hand going into her satchel where she had an attack sigil drawn on a sheet of paper. Xavier had drawn it for her, she had the power to activate it just not create it.

Chang led her to a warehouse and through the wide open bay doors. She relaxed a little since there were still many people about, and the wide open doors provided a fair way of escape. Inside the warehouse was a maze of boxes and crates, none of which they had to brave as there was a raised walkway over them. Chang led her up the stairs and over the walkway, to an office resting in the eves of the warehouse.

The inside of the room was a tacky office, worn Xinian carpets and beat up wood furniture. Chang bustled making tea and Zaire sat across from the desk in one of the chairs. Cheng served the tea and sat at the desk, Zaire waiting until he took a sip before she took one. It was a fine Lirian tea, sweetened with honey.

“Now, to business,” Chang said with his gap toothed smile. “What are you looking to transport?”

“It is more of a who,” Zaire said cautiously.

“Ah, well milady since slaves are not illegal here in Dridia I’d have to guess that he is a wanted man,” Chang said and Zaire blushed.

“How do you know it is a man?” She asked and Chang laughed.

“Milady I am good at my job and you are a poor liar,” Chang said. “You should be glad I found you and not others. I’ve already had to quell a few whispers that spread from you clumsy inquiries.”

“I hope you have a point Mister Chang because I do not appreciate being insulted,” Zaire said crossly and Chang laughed.

“You mages really are all the same. Very well, my point is you need me and my services. I mean no insult; after all we are all good and bad at certain things. Subterfuge is not one of your talents, though I am sure you have your own.”

“No I suppose not,” Zaire said. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Money,” Chang said as he rubbed to fingers together. “As a mage I am sure you have some silver tucked away.”

“I do,” Zaire said. Her father had left her a fair amount of money after he died, most of which had gone untouched in a bank as she had no need of it.

“Then let us talk fees,” Chang said gleefully. “For both of you…”

“I will not be going along,” Zaire said regretfully.

“Why not?” Chang said a little surprised. Zaire blushed and looked down at her tea cup. “Lover’s squabble?”

“More than that Mister Chang but it is a personal matter,” Zaire answered. “He does not want me to go with him.”

“Why not go along without him knowing?” Chang said with a grin and Zaire looked at him surprised. “I am a bit of a romantic milady I admit. Why not sneak aboard without his knowledge, once out to sea there will be nothing he can do.”

Zaire looked away as she considered such a possibility. She hadn’t thought of it simply because Chang was right, she wasn’t very good at lying or trickery. The only problem she could see was if Xavier would be too angry at her to forgive her. She had to admit she didn’t know him well enough to be sure. But her own selfish desires were out weighing these fears.

“You can arrange this?” She asked at last and Chang laughed.

“Milady I can,” he said pleased. “I must say this matter is all quiet entertaining, I might just give you a little discount for a bit of the tale.”

“I would still like a bit of privacy,” Zaire said cautiously. “But perhaps a little and you can fill in the details yourself.”

“That makes a better story,” Chang said as he nodded.

“He is an escaped slave,” Zaire said and Chang leaned forward. “I won’t say how, but we met out here on the docks. I’ve been hiding him since.”

“Marvelous,” Chang said as he began writing a few notes. “Don’t mind me; I’m just writing down a few ideas. I’m a bit of a play write; this would make a fabulous tragedy. Not that I think your story will end in such a way milady, but the beginning certainly sounds sad.”

“Yes it does,” Zaire said feeling a bit odd talking about such a personal thing with a stranger. Chang was an odd man, but she didn’t doubt he was a play write. Hanging on the walls were a few tattered masks and costumes from Lirian plays. Lirians loved plays and dramas; it was one of their main forms of entertainment.

“We shall discuss price and a ship another day perhaps,” Chang said. “I think your man might be better equipped for such matters than you. While I would love to cheat you out of your little nest egg milady, I am a man who enjoys the challenge of bargaining. Can you bring your man by tomorrow night? It will give me a chance to look around for the right ship.”

“Thank you,” Zaire said, honestly surprised that this man was being so helpful.

“Not a problem milady,” Chang said with a grin. “I am a romantic remember?”

“Then I hope one day to see one of your plays Mister Chang,” Zaire said as she stood.

“Thank you milady,” Chang said pleased. She shook his hand and left, feeling better. Now her only problem was keeping a straight face while she lied to Xavier. She walked out of the warehouse, thinking over what she would say and how. Traffic was busier and she realized it was near lunch time. She hurried out of the docks and back towards the craftsman’s hill. She stopped by a little shop she liked to frequent and bought a couple of pears, cheese, and some cured sausages.

As she was walking up her street towards Peony House, she heard people talking loudly. She looked towards a square and saw a crowd had gathered at one end, the people restless and seeming frightened. She walked over, but could not see what had drawn the crowd.

“What happened?” Zaire asked a nearby mage. He looked like a golem crafter telling by the mud stains over his heavy leather apron.

“A murder can you believe it!” he said turning to her with wide eyes. “In the middle of the day too, in a public square. No one saw what happened either.”

“Who was murdered?” Zaire asked, her thoughts going immediately to Xavier.

“A high class mage,” the golem craftsman answered, standing on his toes to try and see over the crowd. Relieved and worried at the same time Zaire tried to push her way through the press. She only got far enough to the barrier one of the inspectors had called up, a heavy iron wall of power holding the crowd back and obscuring the scene of the murder behind a distorted illusion.

Getting out of the crowd was easier, and Zaire stood by gasping for breath. There had to be several inspectors behind that barrier, no doubt searching for evidence. It wasn’t Xavier dead in the street, but Zaire suspected he had something to do with it. She felt shame at the thought; she had no proof that it was him.

A hand on her arm made her jump, still instinctively flinching away from the physical contact. She turned to see a man in a green cloak, his face hidden by the cowl.

“Keep quiet,” Xavier whispered. Her heart fell to see him out near the scene of the murder and felt guilty again for her assumption. “We have to go.”

He started to lead her away, practically dragging her after him. They walked a few blocks until Zaire shook her arm from his grasp, pulling away from him.

“Did you…”

“Yes,” he answered quickly and she felt the blood drain from her face. She couldn’t see his expression from his hood and he held himself completely still. “We can’t talk here Zaire.”

Biting her lip she nodded and followed him. She realized they weren’t heading back to her apartment, but didn’t object. Zaire followed Xavier out of the craftsman district and into the slave district. She had hardly ever been in this part of the city, but it seemed a little tamer in the light of day. Slaves and golems were more numerous here rather than mages and her robes earned her a few glances. Luckily Xavier seemed to make her seem like a mage with her slave, his cloak open enough to show his slave clothes.

Xavier stepped into a building, a worn out sign hanging over the door. Inside it was so dark compared to the sun outside Zaire was blind for a moment. She stood a moment letting her eyes adjust before she could see the room they had entered. It was a cheap tavern, the tables and chairs looking to be constructed from barrels or other odds and ends. No one was here but it still stank of stale beer and unwashed bodies. The room was windowless and was lit by only a few greasy tapers.

“What do you want?” An Elmerian man growled from the bar. He looked to be trying to clean up with an already filthy rag.

“A room and silence,” Xavier answered dropping a royal onto the bar. Zaire wondered where he had gotten the silver when she realized it was probably her own from her rooms. The man took the silver and replaced it with a rusty key.

“Have a good fuck,” the man said with a wink at Zaire who blushed. Xavier took the key without comment and went up the stairs. Zaire followed embarrassed, having to hurry to keep up with Xavier. He went up two flights of stairs and all the way to the back of the hall until he chose a room, unlocking the door and ushering her in.

It was dark; there were no lights or sigils. Xavier sketched a quick light sigil and a small orange glow lit the room. Zaire almost wished he hadn’t done that. There was a bed, if it could be called that, a straw stuffed thing in a wood frame. A single table and two chairs looked ready to fall apart into kindling, but other than that the room was bare. There wasn’t even a window in the cold brick wall.

“We should be safe here until nightfall,” Xavier said as he took off his cloak and laid it on the chair. Zaire noted it was one of her own she wore in rainy weather over her mage robes. He sat, the chair groaning in protest but it didn’t collapse. Zaire set her satchel and basket of food on the table, and gingerly sat in the other chair.

“What did you do?” she asked quietly and winced, even her tone sound accusatory.

“I murdered a man,” Xavier answered. He wasn’t looking at her and she couldn’t look at him. “This morning someone came knocking at your door again, Lady Didra telling by the shrill insults. I ignored her, but I think she could tell I was in there because she came back with the landlady to open the door. I climbed out the window…”

“It’s a three story drop!” Zaire said looking at him astonished.

“There is a tree just outside your window Zaire,” he said wryly. “There is nothing an Aldan knows better than trees, and I could climb down easily even though I’ve never set foot in a forest. Though now I was presented with the problem of being outside while you were away. I wandered around looking for somewhere to wait for you when as my horrible luck had it I ran into an old acquaintance.

“The mage’s name was Vors, a minor lord, cousin to a baron or something. He knew my old master Ramon, and had become interested in my sigil. He saw me and came over to talk. He threatened to turn me in and was about to cast a sigil to capture me. Since I no longer have my slave sigil I was able to stab him in the heart. Most mages forget the physical side of combat.”

“With what?” Zaire asked softly dreading the answer.

“He had his own dagger,” Xavier answered. “I left it on the body. I checked with a sigil to see if anything could be traced to me but there wasn’t.”

“You did all this in broad daylight?” Zaire asked.

“I made it seem like he had stumbled into me,” Xavier answered. “A strike to the heart kills instantly and I set him on a bench and walked away. No one noticed until the blood began to pool.”

“Yet you lingered,” Zaire said.

“I knew it would draw your attention,” he said with a shrug. “I walked along the block and came back, acting like any other curious soul and blended with the crowd. I was about to leave when you showed up.”

She sat staring at her hands conflicted. Her first reaction had been relief that he hadn’t just murdered a random mage, but she realized it had still been murder. The man had been in every legal right to turn Xavier in and capture him; he hadn’t even intended to kill Xavier. Yet he had killed the man with vicious efficiency.

“If it makes you feel better the man was little better than a rapist,” Xavier said. “He’s abused many of his female slaves, or more accurately lets others abuse them.”

“It doesn’t make me feel better,” she whispered, and realized something else at the same time. “Did you sleep with one of his slaves?”

“I didn’t sleep with her Zaire,” he said mildly. “I fucked her to an audience before they got to take their pleasures on her. She was sixteen I think, I never learned her name. She was one of his fight slaves as well so I’m not even sure if she’s still alive.”

She felt bile rising in her throat and swallowed. He said it so casually, yet she could not picture him having sex with a woman in front of other men like a show. She was reminded once again he had lived a much different life than her, one of pain and humiliation. And what had that life made him into?

She heard him start to take the food out of the basket and looked at him astonished that food could be on his mind. He looked back at her almost puzzled and she looked away.

“Do you hate me now?” He asked as he took a bite out of a pear.

“I don’t know,” She whispered. “I should be afraid of you.”

“But you’re not,” he said and she sighed. “I didn’t want to kill him, if Vors had kept walking or even just left me be, I would have left him be.”

“So it’s his fault?” Zaire asked and he shook his head.

“No, nor is it fate or anything like that. I’m just saying that it was not my intent. I didn’t plan on killing him; I didn’t want to kill him. I…” He took a deep breath and Zaire could see some of his calm slip away. “I never wanted to kill anyone. It takes a piece of you away, and I can remember every man I’ve killed. I’ve never once enjoyed it; I’ve only felt rage and fear when I’ve killed, enough to make my spirit die a little each time.”

The pear lay in his hand forgotten now as he stared off into nothing. She reached out and took his hand and he looked at her. For a moment she could see his true heart, naked and vulnerable in his eyes, one of a scared child punished beyond cruelty. He looked away putting his shields up once again.

“I just want to be left alone,” he said gruffly, taking another bite. That stung and Zaire felt hurt that he would push her away.

“I found you a ship,” she said and he looked at her astonished. “I met a man named Chang of Renza who…” She broke off as he threw back his head and laughed. Startled she stared at him, seeing genuine amusement in him now.

“Chang the Blood Maker?” He asked when he stopped laughing. “You actually met that mad bastard?”

“No, he was a spice trader from Lir,” Zaire said as she frowned at him.

“Zaire I forget you are like a wide eyed doe sometimes,” Xavier said so warmly Zaire felt a blush spread to her cheeks. He smiled more to see her do so and she felt blood rush to certain places. “A spice trader from Lir is a drug smuggler.”

“Why would anyone smuggle drugs in Dridia, they aren’t illegal here,” Zaire said. Most mages weren’t drug users anyways, it was all for the slaves. Mages treated drugs more like animal feed than recreational aids.

“Legality isn’t the issue its taxes,” Xavier answered. “While some substances are illegal in other kingdoms others just put heavy taxes on them. King Myrddin makes most of his profits on the taxes of drugs. Chang controls most of the drug trade in the east; he got there by killing most of his competitors.”

“I think we might be talking about different people,” Zaire said calmly. “The man I met was a romantic; he said he was a play write on the side of being a merchant.”

“Zaire there is no spice trade in Lir,” Xavier said shaking his head. “Lirians hate spicy food, they like sour flavors. And there is no such place as Renza, no city or province in Lir bears that name.”

Zaire had no answer to that; astonished that Chang had been lying to her.

“I’m sorry,” she said at last after Xavier had finished his pear.

“For what, this might be the perfect opportunity,” Xavier said.

“Can we trust such a man?” Zaire asked.

“Of course not, but I doubt he would turn me in. Criminals tend to stay away from law enforcement, I just have to worry about him deciding to sell me into slavery or handing me over to pirates. If we pay him enough he’ll smuggle me out without trouble. How much do you have to work with?”

“Two gold crowns,” Zaire answered and Xavier whistled.

“A good nest egg,” he said impressed.

“My father left it to me,” she said and she saw him sober.

“I’m sorry Zaire,” he said sadly. “I don’t mean to steal from you…”

“It’s my money Xavier,” she said kindly. “I’ll have enough to get me to Alda like you said.” The lie came hard, but Xavier didn’t seem to notice her inelegant lie.

“So what is the next step?” He asked, becoming a little more formal.

“Chang said he’d like to negotiate with you,” she answered. “Tomorrow night.”

“Fair enough,” Xavier said as he nodded.

“What will we do until then?” Zaire asked and Xavier looked at her with a wicked glint in his eyes. “Not on that we’re not!” she objected gesturing to the moldy excuse for a bed. He laughed again with pure good humor and she blushed.

“No, we’re not staying here,” he said. “This is just a half way until night fall.”

“And then what?” Zaire asked. “Do you have friends that could help us?”

“No, all the people I know were slaves,” he said shaking his head. “I however know of people that might help us for the right fee. Can we get your money out? I only found two royals in your room.”

“Yes, the bank closes at seven though,” Zaire said.

“We’ll go just before closing,” he said. “Where is it?”

“Just by the merchant district,” she answered. “On Golden Road.”

“Right, should have known,” Xavier said. Golden Road housed almost all the banks that held most of the wealth of the mages. “You should eat.”

“I’m not sure I can,” she said softly. He handed her the other pear and a piece of cheese and she ate automatically. When she finished she felt a bit better, though still a little uneasy.

“Now I was thinking of using a sigil to punch a hole in that wall,” Xavier said pointing to the brick wall. “If I do it right no one will notice for some time and it will give us a way out without anyone being the wiser. I was thinking of using a dissolving sigil.”

“Only if you use a compressive dissolution,” Zaire said as she frowned. “It’s the wrong time of year for a hemorrhagic.”

They began talking sigils then and Zaire enjoyed every moment. While Xavier was powerful and skilled at High Magic, he was unpracticed and ignorant of some of the higher level sigils. Zaire had spent her life learning sigils she could never use, knowing everything there was to know about their interactions and how the movement of the stars affected them. She had few people she could even discuss sigil form with, and those few saw her as a lesser mage.

Xavier spoke to her as an equal, or even occasionally deferred to her knowledge. It was heartening to be seen in such a way, and his unconscious treatment only made her love him more. She knew with a few years of tutoring he’d be a mage that rivaled the Myrddins; his Lonelove heritage had come through all too strongly. She loved watching him sketch out sigils, his long fingers handling the pen were elegant and precise.

At last they came to a compromise on the sigil and they drew it on the wall with chalk Zaire carried. Most mages carried around such things since you never knew when or where you might have to draw a sigil. She stood back as Xavier activated it, the sigil tearing a hole in the wall with little more noise than a gasp, a sound muffler drawn in with the sigil. Xavier helped her out of the hole and onto the roof of the adjacent building. It took a bit of roof hoping, but they eventually got down back to the street.

Zaire paused to catch her breath; she was not in any shape for running or roof hoping. Xavier was still climbing down and Zaire turned to look down the street. It was the witching hour as some said, twilight lasting longer on the longest day of the year. She squinted, the lamps had yet to be lit and her eyesight was poor. She thought she saw a shadow nearby. Zaire turned to Xavier as he leapt down, raising her hand to point.

She saw his eyes widen as someone grabbed her from behind and he lunged towards her. Another man appeared stepping in his path. Zaire could hardly keep up with Xavier’s motions, in two strikes the other man was in the street howling in pain. Xavier stepped over the man his eyes burning with murder, but Zaire felt a dagger at her throat. Xavier froze all his rage in his eyes.

“Don’t come any closer,” the man holding her said in a squeaky voice. “Hand over all your silver.”

“Fine, just let her go,” Xavier said as he took out their only royal.

“Don’t scam me!” the man shouted. “This is a mage, their robes drip silver.”

“Does it look like she has any silver?” Xavier asked angrily. “Now let her go before I break both your legs.”

Zaire felt the knife point press into her throat and took a sharp intake of breath. A trail of blood ran down her neck and Xavier took a step back.

“Don’t fool me!” the man shouted.

“Wait Vinny,” the other man groaned from the street. He stood up, cradling his crotch, and standing behind Xavier. “I know this guy.”

“How do you know him Burt?” the man holding Zaire asked.

“This is the White Beast,” the other man said with a fat grin. He was a big ox of a man, Elmerian with an ugly bloated face.

“From the slave fights?” Vinny asked sounding pleased. “Well then you’re in luck my friend. Tonight is the biggest slave fight of the century. The man who can beat the Prince’s champion wins ten gold crowns.”

“You beat the champion and we’ll give you your little friend back,” Burt said grinning.

Xavier was glaring at Vinny who held Zaire and seemed to be calculating the risk of attack. Zaire couldn’t see Vinny, but she guessed by his tightening grip that Xavier’s glare was making him nervous. He let go of her arm to draw another dagger, cutting her across her thigh deeply. She cried out in pain and surprise Xavier taking a step forward, but Burt grabbed him by the shoulder.

“Easy friend,” Vinny said snidely. “My hand might slip.”

“You sack of shit!” Xavier growled. “I swear I’ll rip your throat out.”

Vinny cut her again in her side, blood darkening her robes. She tried not to cry out this time but a small whimper of pain escaped her. Xavier was breathing like a tethered race horse, his fists clenched until his knuckles were white. She could see his rage and his intent on murder.

“Do we have a deal friend?” Vinny asked, his dagger pressing harder. She realized then that she was only a burden to Xavier, this wouldn’t have happened if not for her. Xavier shook Burt’s arm off and let his hands relax.

“Deal,” he answered lowly.

“Great, meet us after the fight with the gold,” Vinny said. “We’ll be by the west gate of the star arena where the fight is being held.”

“Right,” Xavier said and turned on his heel, leaving Zaire behind. She held back tears, her heart in her throat. After some time passed Vinny let her go and Zaire nearly collapsed, her head light from blood loss.

“Bind her wounds and carry her,” Vinny said. Burt tied a few rags over her cuts and then lifted her up. Zaire’s head swam and she must have fainted a little because next thing she knew the sound of a crowd woke her. She opened her eyes to see the back of Burt’s shirt. She was hanging upside down over his shoulder like a sack of grain. Zaire turned her head and saw the top of a crowd before her.

She knew where they were, the star arena was open to the sky, one of the best places to see the night sky. Regretfully Zaire turned her attention to the stage set sunken in the center of the audience stands. Lit by mage lights the arena that usually hosted guest lectures or plays was covered in sand. The only one in the arena was an illusion of a mage, Zaire able to see through the image slightly.

She pulled on her sigil reading spectacles and indeed could see the sigil that projected the image of the mage in the middle of the arena. She did not know him, but he looked wealthy and powerful. He wasn’t any of the Myrddins; he wasn’t that wealthy or powerful. It stood motionless, waiting for the show to start.

Zaire wiggled to try and get down and Burt lowered her to her feet. She took a moment to let her head stop spinning and looked up at the pointed features of Vinny. He was Elmerian as well; his chin too long and covered in a patchy beard.

“Just wait milady and we’ll give you back to your lover,” he said mildly. “Burt, go place the bets.”

Burt just grunted and walked off, leaving Zaire with Vinny who was keeping a dagger in one hand. He leaned close to her, his eyes looking her up and down like she was a piece of meat.

“I’ve never had a mage before,” he said softly leaning close. They were in a little corner out of the main crowd, a pillar shielding them from prying eyes. Zaire shivered; his breath stank of sour onions. She closed her eyes and felt him begin to grope her. He was suddenly yanked off her and she opened her eyes startled to see Xavier holding him by the throat, one hand holding the dagger away from him.

Vinny’s eyes bugged in his head as Xavier squeezed his throat with his arm, the skinny man struggling uselessly. Zaire saw the dark look in Xavier’s eyes as he strangled him and she felt bile rise to her mouth. She swallowed and reached out, putting her hand on Xavier’s arm around Vinny’s neck.

“Stop Xavier,” she said softly and he looked at her. “He isn’t worth that little piece of you.” Vinny wheezed and gasped as Xavier stood like a statue staring at her. With a deft twist he broke Vinny’s wrist, the knife dropping to the ground as Vinny whimpered. Xavier let him go and gave him a solid shove.

“If I see you again I’ll rip your guts out and feed them to you,” he said darkly. Cradling his arm Vinny hobbled away into the crowd. Zaire leaned against the pillar feeling faint. Xavier was at her side suddenly holding her up and close. She breathed in his familiar scent deeply, holding onto him like he might disappear.

“You came,” she nearly sobbed as he held her.

“Of course I did,” Xavier answered. “I’d have to be insane to enter this fight. I just needed to wait until dumb and dumber parted. I’m sorry I left you like that.” She only shook her head in response, feeling weak. “Let me look at your wounds and then we’ll leave.”

He untied the rough bandages over her cuts and she winced as his hands probed the tender skin on her side and thigh. Zaire looked back at the arena as he examined her.

“Welcome!” the illusion shouted and Zaire jumped a little. Xavier turned as well to see the show had started. “The fight of the century has begun! Wages have been placed and bets made, and now let the show begin. The challenger!”

A set of large double doors burst open and a Panthra leapt out. Zaire stared at the male Panthra, a giant six legged monster with slavering jaws and lashing tail. A man rode upon its back, pumping his arms over his head wielding a spear. He was a Xinian, his hair bleached and cut like his Panthra’s mane.

“A Xinian Pridesmen,” Xavier said amazed. “He must have been a rival of Zar Ne Zar.”

“Who?” Zaire asked.

“A man who claims to be king of the Pridesmen,” Xavier answered. “I heard about him from other slaves. This man must have been promised his freedom if he won, Zar Ne Zar probably beat him in combat and sold him as a slave.”

“No one is going to beat that,” Zaire said shaking her head. Xavier didn’t answer, returning his attention to bandaging her wounds. He must have stolen some salve and bandages as he was using fresh linen bandages to tend to her.

“And now I present the Champion!” The image shouted over the roars of the crowd and Panthra. Another set of doors opened and a cloaked man stepped out of the doors. She could see nothing of him under the cloak of rough stained burlap. She adjusted her spectacles astonished; the cloak crawled with thousands of sigils of binding and seals.

“Sol’s balls,” Xavier said softly. She looked at him and saw his face white with terror. Her own fear rose to see him so scared. “We have to get out of here.”

He began to hurry to finish bandaging her and Zaire looked back at the fight. The crowd was howling with disgust at this pathetic champion, but the cloaked figure walked forward regardless. The Pridesmen laughed and kicked his Panthra, but the lion did not move. He cringed back and howled, trying to stay away from the cloaked figure.

The crowd fell silent from his reaction, everyone curiously staring at the scene. The man threw back the cloak and a gasp went up from the crowd. The man was like a walking corpse, his skin rotting and nearly falling off his bones. Flies covered in him in a dark shadow, buzzing audibly in the silence.

Then he laughed a wet inhuman sound that made Zaire cringe. With inhuman speed the rotting man leapt onto the Panthra, the creature howling and lashing out. The man crawled over it like an insect, ripping away flesh as it went. Zaire gaged when she realized the man was eating what he took. He was so covered in flies he hardly looked human anymore.

“Done, we need to go,” Xavier said.

“What is that thing?” Zaire asked terrified. The Pridesmen had leapt away from his Panthra, howling with fear and running to get away.

“Kal Ba’el,” Xavier answered, pulling her away. The shadow of a man leapt from the dying Panthra and onto its master. The Pridesmen screamed as it took hold of his head and ripped it from his shoulders. Screams rang out from the crowd and Zaire turned her head to vomit. Xavier held her as she shook.

Xavier practically carried her towards the exit, but the crowd was thick and there were others trying to shove their way out as well. Zaire turned to look back and saw the creature was standing still over the body of the Pridesmen. It stood taller than before, its body made up of a boiling mass of flies, tendrils of flies springing from it like steam.

Its head turned to look right at her and Zaire let out a little scream. It had no eyes yet she knew it was looking at them. She felt Xavier tremble and he tried to shove his way through the crowd. The thing charged, leaping over the wall with ease and into the crowd. People screamed and chaos erupted as the thing charged through the crowd towards them, killing as it went.

Xavier shouted and dove for cover behind one of the pillars just as the creature struck, shattering the marble pole like it was timber. Xavier covered Zaire, intending to shield her from harm. She felt more than saw the blaze of High Magic, only a few feet away a bonfire of magic flared around the creature. Zaire looked around Xavier’s shoulder and was nearly blinded by the bright seals that now surrounded the creature.

The sigils dimmed and the creature seemed to shrink, the flies melting away. Finally a man stood naked in the middle of the sigils, whole and unmarked by even a scar. The crowd had mostly fled, only the still forms of bodies remaining.

“Well done Tobias,” a voice said from the other side of the sigils. “You managed to kill half the crowd.”

“And you managed to stop me,” the man answered. “You can let the sigils go now.”

The seals faded and dropped, revealing the mage behind them. Hot fear ran through Zaire and she felt a warm flow of urine as she wet herself. Prince Ilya Myrddin, the man that had set the castration sigil within her when she was eight. He hadn’t aged a day since she had seen him last after he had raped her. Not that he had seen it that way, he had been coldly business like about the entire thing. She could still remember the feeling of the straps on her legs and the cold metal clamp inside her that held her open to his probing fingers.

“I think we gathered enough data,” Ilya said mildly, another mage hovering behind him writing furiously in a book. “We managed…”

“Wait a moment Prince Ilya,” Tobias said cutting off the mage. Ilya looked annoyed, his bright red eyes flashing. Tobias turned away from the mage to look at Zaire and Xavier. Xavier now sat in front of her, but she could see his hand shaking as he faced the other man.

“We meet again Xavier,” Tobias said. “I am sorry I attacked you, Kal Ba’el was a bit too eager to welcome you.”

“Zaire, run,” Xavier whispered before he leapt to his feet. He sketched a sigil in the air out of pure power, the attack sigil blazing with fire. Zaire got to her feet about to run, but Ilya attacked first. A counter sigil broke Xavier’s with ease and slammed him against another of the pillars. He fell to the ground limp, Zaire running to his side. He was struggling to get up and push her behind him.

“What is this Tobias?” Ilya asked critically, like a teacher asking a student a question.

“I think we should retire to your rooms milord,” Tobias said. “It is a long story, but this man is a key in the puzzle you have been working on for my god.”

“Interesting,” Ilya said and signaled to several golems who began to close in on them.

“Zaire, please run,” Xavier begged turning to her. She saw he was weeping, tears falling down his cheeks. She leaned forward and kissed him, tasting the salty tears on his lips.

“No I won’t leave you,” she said softly. He sobbed and the hands of the golems closed on them, pulling them apart.

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