#why do the paragraph breaks look like that and why can't I change their spacing tumblr please the readability

[wish-i-had-robin-wings]

I’m fascinated about the oc stuff you mentioned! I only recently (within the last year) started creating oc’s so I’ve not really thought about creating images of them. I pretty much just save stock photos and photos of celebrities that resemble what I’m imagining, but that can be a pain. I’d love to hear more tips (as well as hearing about some of your oc’s if you’d like to share!)

A beloved mutual, hello!!

It's cool to hear that you're getting into oc stuff, making up little guys is so much fun! You'll have to tell me about yours sometime! I gotta admit though, saving stock and celebrity photos sounds like a hassle :/ I can't imagine what you'd do for a non-human oc…

If you're interested, I have a ton of picrew links I can share (and obviously I can give you ones with more specific aesthetics if you have something in mind, versus just dumping a truckload of random links on you).

I also really like using Heroforge (D&D Minifugre website) to make ocs (D&D related or not). They update pretty regularly so there's always better options (especially for non-human ocs) and colors for more specific customizations. It's especially cool because if you decide you really like it, you can buy your oc as a minifigure (but you can still use the site/save your oc even without buying anything)! I love free websites :3

Lately, I've been focusing on my batch of Minecraft ocs. I was supposed to join a big rp server, but that fell apart so now I'm just 'writing' it all myself. It's been really fun, and I like being able to build an intricate story and characters from a pre-set template that comes with making ocs within a pre-existing world/ruleset (It's just much easier on my busy brain for when I'm not working on my actual original writing or whatever XP). But because of this, I've also been making full Minecraft skins for those ocs. It's pretty much just pixel art, and I am nowhere near the levels of some of the proffesional skin-makers out there, but I've made some pretty cool stuff if I do say so myself!

TL;DR I am not good at art, but my imagination is very hyperactive, so having some of these online resources has helped a ton in just getting something out into the world. I am more than happy to share site links and answer any questions you have about navigating them if you wanna dm me! I'd also loove to talk about all my ocs more, but I know that can be a lot for a tumblr ask…especially if tumblr keeps eating them >:(

Thanks for messaging me, hope this helped some!

(Also, sorry for the weird formatting of this post tumblr is being dumb and I can't fix it for some reason...)

[performativezippers]

here's some random writing advice that i've found helpful, in no order, that i reserve the right to add to at any time:

no one says everything they're thinking. in dialogue, less is more. people don't speak in paragraphs, they speak in sentences, especially when they're not telling a story. let the dialogue be brief, and use interiority (thoughts) to show the reader all the things they aren't saying.

use physical cues to help the POV character understand what the non-POV character is thinking/feeling/not saying/lying about. For example, if we're in Jane's POV while Maura is talking, and Maura says "I'm fine," Jane can notice that her eyes are darting around like she's anxious, or she's crossed and uncrossed her arms, almost like she's nervous. there's no need to say MAURA SEEMS NERVOUS, let the reader get it from what Jane's picking up.

let the reader be curious—don't info dump—but don't frustrate them by giving so little that they don't know what's going on. this is a very very fine line sometimes, and betas can be really helpful for pointing it out until you've gotten the feel for it.

Use paragraph breaks, for the love of god.

Only italicize things that really and truly cannot be explained any other way. "What are you doing here?" for example doesn't need any italics. If you can't get the reader to understand what you mean without the italics, then, sure, use them. but SPARINGLY. use body language, interiority, other words, and dialogue tags (shouts, yells, whispers, cries, she says as her voice cracks) to get the reader what they need.

"What are you doing here?" could be "what on earth are you doing here?" (aka, i have no fucking idea why you're here, my dude)

"What are you doing here?" could be "i told you to stay out of this, lucy! what are you doing here?" (aka, lucy you specifically should not be here)

"What are you doing here?" could be "jesus, you scared the shit out of me! I thought you were at the front! what are you doing here?" (aka, i'm not surprised to see you, but i'm surprised to see you HERE what the fuck)

Don't head hop. Know who's POV you're in and STAY IN IT until the chapter break, scene change that's clearly indicated by ***, whatever. if this is challenge, try writing in first person to get in the habit of only knowing what your POV character knows. There is, of course, 3rd person omniscient narration, but it's really fucking hard to pull off and honestly I recommend staying away from it entirely. Most things you'll read are written in first or close 3rd, and that's not an accident.

Let your characters move around in space. let them notice the things around them.

If Kate walks into a room, i'll probably list what she sees in order of importance, unless it's a big reveal. i'll add voice to that so you'll know i did it on purpose.

in order of appearance: "the body lies in the middle of the big, wide room. the ceiling must be twenty feet up, and there are plenty of windows, the way the light catches the falling dust mites looks more like a church than a crime scene."

with reveal/voice: "Kate bursts into the room and immediately skids to a stop. it's too bright, all white walls and high windows. it looks like the kind of room you'd put a WeWork in, or maybe a super expensive soulcycle. normally Kate would be itching for a paint roller and some blueprints, but today she ignores the terrible architectural choices, choosing to focus instead on the dead body congealing in a puddle of dark brown blood in the middle of the floor."

try to have an internal plot/obstacle (alex can't be honest with maggie about their relationship because she hasn't told her that her sister is superhero) and external plot/obstacle (there is a serial killer targeting aliens in national city, and all three women are on his radar). Best practice is for them to intersect and create layered, complex problems (maggie can't understand why alex is so fucking freaked out about this serial killer in the first act; yes, crime is bad, but like, it's their job? why won't alex TALK to her? where does she keep running off to in secret? does alex even actually want to be with her??)

Everything should have: tension, stakes, obstacles. Try not to make all of that hinge on a misunderstanding or one person being too chicken to confess their feelings. that gets boring and frustrating for the reader.

If you need to make a calendar, make one. If you need a cast list, write one. keep yourself on track.

introduce new original characters slowly. give them one name (first and last is usually not necessary at the start). give us one or two things to remember about them. Jenna is the producer of the tv show. Jenna is mean. the next time she comes back, call her "jenna the producer." then the next time you can hint to her role, like "jenna has her big clipboard and is shouting at everyone to get the fucking cameras ready." if jenna doesn't come back again, don't name her. be kind to your readers who forget things, and help them out by limiting the named cast to people who need to be named. if they don't show up until halfway through, don't introduce them until halfway through. for fanfic, obviously this is easier because we know everyone, but still, please. only have the people in the scene who need to be there. huge scenes with 5-8+ characters present are a MESS.

if your character has two best friends who fill the same role, cut one. streamline so i as the reader have less to keep track of.

banter can be fun to write, but dialogue without movement, choreography, internal thoughts, lies, physical cues, and plot movement gets really boring to read. if a scene is skippable, ask yourself what would make it essential, and add that.

every conversation should do at least two things. things can be:

move the plot forward

deepen, change, or complexify an existing relationship

create tension (plot, romance, etc)

explore stakes

attempt to get over the obstacle

FOR EXAMPLE: Helena and Myka almost kissing when they shouldn't because Helena is with Some Dude? yes! that's romantic tension and attempting to get over the obstacle (some dude). Myka rambling to claudia about almost kissing helena for 3 pages: no! That does nothing on this list. the event already happened, and a long debrief about it isn't interesting to the reader. Let Myka ruminate while she's doing one of the other things. and by ruminate, i mean KEEP A LIGHT TOUCH HERE, ruminating is very very easy to make boring and maudlin. trust your reader; be subtle about it.

[sourbinnie]

title -> closer genre -> surprise, it's angst! | one sided love pair -> ot8!skz x gn!reader plot -> a paragraph from letters you've never sent to stray kids. lowercase intended | no warnings

❥ ✉

'cause you're the holiday i celebrate too late

you're the eyes i gave up tryin' to captivate

how do you feel when you have a crush on someone? i always wanted to know what you thought about this. for me it's like i either live hooked on a feeling or give up completely when i'm disappointed by the results of it. i had the biggest crush on you since i've met you jisung and i don't think that's ever gonna change. it's easy to put it in a paper and not say it out loud like i prepared so many times. the thing is i don't want to be in a relationship, i completely gave up trying to be somewhere i don't belong in and that's your arms. what's not easy is the burning feeling in my chest every time i see you holding someone else, i just wish it was me one last time.

you're the song that i loved but then overplayed

and i'm the b-side throwaway

what's there to say? you're captivating with everything you do. every single step you take towards me i melt into a puddle trying to compose myself. i don't think i deserve you, you already know this because you heard me talk about it didn't you? as you pretended that you did not. i don't blame you for not having a crush on me, no one does. chris i think your talent is immeasurable but your ability to lie isn't and you know how much i love your music. the fact that i've been the first one to listen to some new releases still shocks me but i would gladly accept any offer to do so again unless you don't want me around you anymore which is understandable.

i hope you never rain on my charade

the lonely one i let myself create

i got my space, but what'd i pay?

i had a mental image of you that the more i look, the more i know, it gets closer to your reality. why do i say this? because i truly think perfection didn't exist until i found you felix. i know i drifted apart from you, i know i said i need space to figure things out with my feelings and our friendship. i don't wanna ruin us but i know i already did, in fact i know that you feel like you can be friends with me after my confession. i don't think i can be friends anymore lixie. crushes don't usually hurt but the one sided love truly does sometimes, and i don't want you to feel pity and say that you will "fall in love" with me when those things don't happen. i can't take any more lies.

i've been fucked so much that i no longer wait

i sabotage and break my own heart

just in case

god did my past experiences fuck me up. you know this more than anyone seungmin and i still let you hold me every night. i knew that things weren't gonna be easy when you said you wanted to be there for me through everything, i knew i was gonna fall for the person that first decided to listen to me and take care of me in such a beautiful and soft way. now here i am sitting, hoping that you read this and don't feel too bad about me leaving that night. i couldn't deal with the feelings again, the powerful love i felt for you was way too much for my heart to take and i needed to back away. i'm sorry, i will always be sorry minnie.

so, yeah, i loved you or i tried to

but i don't know how

i think i gave it my all when it came to you. but then i realized that it wasn't really worth it was it? you're never gonna feel the same way. i tried so hard, thinking that maybe one day you'll look at me and see more than a friend standing beside you. i can't say that i don't love you anymore, i still need time to process everything and to grow out of these feelings for you changbin so i understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore. hoping one day you see me in a new light was the most hopeless thing i've done. i feel so empty right now as i watch you on a screen again, of course i could never have you. i don't know what i was thinking in the first place.

used to need you and feel you

but we ran it all down

so i guess this is it? i don't even know what to say after what happened. i'm so tired of going around you like the only thing that matters in plain sight is you. but that doesn't mean my feelings will change, that doesn't mean that i'm done with you even if you're done with me. it means that i think it's time to step away before i end up more heartbroken than i already am hyunjin. i know you think this is easy but it's really not, i can't stop feeling the way i do in just a couple of days. i truly thought you were the one for the longest time and i still feel like i need you. i still feel like i want to be loved by you even if it's just me being delusional again.

'cause i loved you or i tried to

can it be easy now?

i never had any hope in the first place jeongin. i feel like i decided to give my heart and soul to someone who deserved it and not getting anything back would be just fine. it really wasn't, it's not your fault but it's not mine either right? even if i feel like an idiot thinking i had a chance with you. i truly hope you find happiness in someone like i did for a long time in you, you deserve to experience love in it's purest form. thank you for not giving up on me though, i don't know where i would've ended up if you just plainly rejected me but you didn't. you gave me another chance and even if i'm not gonna take it, i just wanted to say thank you.

or will it kill me on the evenin'

that I let you down?

i'm sorry i disappointed you. you weren't looking for someone and this is how i decide to show up in your life, another love interest opportunity? i'm surprised you don't hate me. minho i know that love is a hard thing to take and i'm not gonna insist or pursue you to change your mind. i'm just gonna let you know that someday, someone's gonna appear and you're not gonna feel this kind of hatred for love anymore. you're gonna feel blessed that person is gonna be by your side forever & ever. i know it's not me even if i wanted it to be, i let you down this time and it hurts but i gave it my all to be there for you and that's all i can say.

- love (y/n).

+

i need you closer

or i need it over

either need you closer

or i need it over, yeah

"hey (y/n)." my neighbor greeted me and i just waved but then i realized they were holding onto something, looked like letters. "these were piling up so i picked them up and they're all addressed to you so here you go!" she said and gave me a small smile.

"thank you and i'm sorry for the inconvenience." i said as i got them in my hands.

8 sealed letters all sent to me. i read the names: han jisung, bang christopher, lee felix, kim seungmin, seo changbin, hwang hyunjin, yang jeongin and finally lee minho. did they truly read my letters?

[dumfanting]

I've been reading Same Heart and enjoying it thus far! My favorite parts have been with the Batch and the main character, especially with Crosshair and how you have been exploring with Crosshair's feelings for the main character. I do worry how Crosshair having feelings for her will be taken by Echo, especially since she seems to be forming feelings for Crosshair as well. Crosshair is the type to push at people he doesn't know or trust, to hurt them so they can't hurt his family, and I believe your characterization of Crosshair has been fitting that "heart of gold hidden by steel walls" very well.

Scared to see what happens when his chip activates though... and if the Batch will try to save him, if that is where your fic is leading to.

For all that, the parts that hit most personally were the moments in Chapter 18 when Tech went to talk to Echo and was told off in the start, and in Chapter 19 when the main character told Tech off for recording them (this part, most of all, [“Apologies if I’ve overstepped,” Tech says, not meeting your eyes] as I understand and feel for Tech so much there. I know he's not a main focus, but seeing these small moments with Tech are nice!

Appreciate the exploration of trauma Echo would be realistically going through after being removed from the cryo chamber on Skako Minor, as well as the fact he would not be able to recover instantly to head to battle on Trench's ship. Also appreciate that the main character is dealing with her grief and pushing herself (as before she was assigned to the Bad Batch) beyond her capabilities because of it. I hope she can start to heal over time!

(Also, simply because I sometimes have a hard time with distinguishing when a new character speaks in some paragraphs, would you be able to put new paragraphs for each new speaker, please? Like this paragraph in chapter 18:

“Don’t be,” he says, waving it off. “Do you need anything?” he continues. You stretch again and sigh heavily. “I’ll start with a shower, I think.” you say, quickly grabbing a change of clothes. “You want to supervise that too?” you say with a smirk.  Would be easier to read like this:

“Don’t be,” he says, waving it off. “Do you need anything?” he continues.

You stretch again and sigh heavily.

“I’ll start with a shower, I think.” you say, quickly grabbing a change of clothes. “You want to supervise that too?” you say with a smirk. 

or something like that. It helps because I have dyslexia and always struggle with these paragraphs due to how my brain reads them. You don't have to, of course!)

Looking forward to the next chapters and what happens with Cross and everything possibly revolving around that!

Hey, thanks for reading! I love that you’ve taken the time to share your thoughts about the story with me.

Most important thing first off: Dyslexic readers genuinely didn’t occur to me, apologies for that, I’ll put more effort into ease of reading.

With that in mind, I’m going to put this under a read more so I can break up the blocks of text but not take up too much dash space.

I’m glad to hear the way I’m writing Crosshair is working, I’m always worried he’s ooc. Depending on how season two of TBB goes, I may wind up splitting away from canon eventually.

Right now I’ll be following the same general storyline of season one, once we get there. His chip is going to be a major source of conflict regardless.

As for Tech, I wanted to eventually explore and develop everyone around the protagonist, he just happened to pop up first.

I make mistakes like that too, and he feels more relatable like this. He’s trying! I also wanted Meds to have a noticeable impact on the guys around her too.

Echo, my love. It’s always bothered me how his recovery was glossed over (I understand why, for times sake, and at the end of the day it is a kids show) and I wanted to take the time to more realistically explore that. That’s what fics are for!

Many in the fandom give Echo a hard time for being ‘grumpy’ and that just doesn’t sit right with me. I think they tend to forget how traumatized he is. Hopefully showing what he’s been through that we as viewers didn’t see will help some to understand him better.

Meds has a good heart, but she needs to remember that it isn’t wrong to put herself first sometimes.

Thank you again for such a great ask! Feel free to ask me anything else or make suggestions like this again.

[khaaidar]

I've been feeling asexual lately

I’ve been feeling somewhat asexual lately. Every time i go out on a date, hang out with a cute gay friend, or hang out with someone who wants to be something-in-between with me, i don't want to do anything intimate with them. No kisses, no sex, only cuddles. I can feel the attraction from their side but i just feel like i have this wall in front of me. It makes me want to reflect on my life more. I hate the word "to reflect", the fuck does that mean like go fuck yourself never say that to me ever again. Anyways...it makes me want to think about my daily life again. It must be coming from not feeling satisfied with what i'm doing on the day-to-day basis. 

First of all, my job. I don't feel like i fit in, i'm not even trying to fit in anymore. I feel guilty for being at this job, it seems like i'm wasting everyone's time. You know when you're young, it feels like time is going by so quick and you need to "make it" on time before you get old. I still feel this way, somewhat. Especially living in such a big and fast-pased city like toronto, it makes you want to run faster and faster until your engine has set yourself on fire. After all, what are we running towards? Innovation? We can't wait but get ourselves to the space? Escape our planet to find other life that will make us change our beliefs about what life is. What are we running towards? Why do we need to be stressed all the time? My job is taking away all of my time by sucking me dry and fucking me in every whole because i fucking hate it. No, i'm lying. I don't think i "fucking hate it", I think i just dislike it. I don't like the clients, the main clients i guess, i can't think the same way as my coworkers think. it's all straight dudes, i can't fucking relate to them. i want to work with women. i want life to be more sensitive. i want to feel life when i work. i feel like my eyes are burning, my back is breaking, my brain is not working when i work. Why do i have to work this way?

Anyways, that paragraph got a lil too long. fuck it. What i wanted to say is that my job is taking 80% of my time and i'm not fucking enjoying it. Will it benefit me in the future? maybe. do i know for sure? fuck no.

i haven't been honest with myself or anyone else lately. my boss, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my friend that i only go out to raves with, my boyfriends that i go on dates with just to rest my brain and get head, and myself. 

Second of all, i can't connect with anyone that i meet these days. yeah this one is struggling, ya that girl is working two jobs, hmm that guy is going in on his side hustle, ou yeah that man is feeling a little lost in life, oh that girl sumi or whatever keeps raving about her new cigarettes, hah that girl emma keeps asking me what skirt she should wear cause she's going out with this cute guy and can't wait to get her pussy ate after her shitty restaurant job with no prospects in sight. and where am i right now? i don't like my job and it's fucking with my self-esteem. are we all supposed to sit down, talk to our therapists or friendapists [friends who you dump everything on you at 8am in the morning while they're doing their makeup to go to their new exhausting freelance job] about how much we hate our lives and then go to our jobs that we give -5 fucks about?

yeah this paragraph barely talked about what i even wanted to talk about. who is doing what i want to do? i need to talk to those people but i can't seem to find them. 

I think it's time to start taking action. i'm going to start looking for new opportunities, new design studios, artists, and designers that i can work for, and maybe there can be even a brand that i can be involved with. I'm tired of fucking sitting around not knowing what i'm supposed to do. even if it is a mistake, let it fucking be. i'm tired of being wishy-washy about my life and decisions. let me fucking be.

[sem2anyacropper]

Taking Nigel French's Typography Course!!! Part 1

Chapter 1: Introduction

Defining the parts of the letterform

12 pt = 1 pica

typeface = alphabet e.g. garamond vs font = specific size and style e.g. garamond bold 12pt

older > modern ^^^^vvvvv

Wonderful explanation of the history of fonts & why they appear the way they do!

sometimes typefaces use number systems; higher number = heavier weight

you can't package adobe fonts!

put idesign in the typography layout!

typefaces to avoid lmao ^^^^^

Chapter 2: Character Formatting

Hotkeys:

command + shift + > makes font bigger (can change in units & incriments) (add option as well to do 5pt at a time)

command option c = fit frame to type

command shift u - underline

command spacebar + click and drag = zooms into where you want!

look back on this if I need to do this!

all small caps makes the caps all at the x height of the font :) people often make this have positive tracking to space it out a bit. often used for am or pm

use character styles for underlining

give the text a small outline of whatever the background colour is for this effect ^

^superscript superior helps to create a more pt size appropriate foot note or dropped (?) letter

for footnotes, create a character style where the only difference in the style is that the position is set to opentype superior subscript

More Hotkeys

Command + shift + I = italics

Option + shift (up or down key) = baseline shift

Cmd + Shift + K = all caps

Don't stretch typefaces! Use extended or condensed

Chapter 3: Leading

Start with + 1-3 pts of leading for body text

As your columns get wider, your leading should increase too

consider the gutter width is the same as the leading

low x height = less leading and visa versa

display type can benefit from negative leading, particularly when it's all caps :)

consistency is important

Try not to use auto leading! esp for upper case

Inline images: you can insert images to be part of a text box!!

option + up/down

apply leading to whole paragraph will mean that if you change leading within a paragraph it will apply to the whole para

Chapter 4: Kerning, Spacing and Tracking

Metrics/Optical kerning

Letter spacing = space between letters

tight letter spacing makes it more black

it's subjective, but can make a big difference over time

gives the density/colour to your type

for word spacing, command + option + shift + delete

Tracking

an adjustment of space across a range of characters

alt + left or right arrows (don't do more than 10)

to highlight custom tracking/kerning, preferences > composition > highlight > custom tracking/kerning

Kerning

Metrics/Optical kerning

metric kerning is better for script, tabbed numbers and monospaced fonts

Manual kerning is only for larger type

to adjust individual spaces, click on the space and then option + left/right arrow

manual kerning actually takes quite a lot of work

to fix the optical, you can make a little coloured rectangle and move it around to ensure that the space is roughly the same between the letters at their closest points

Chapter 5: Small and Important Details

Glyphs: you can create a glyph set to make glyphs faster

Quotes/Apostrophes

make sure to distinguish between ft./inches signs " and quote marks `` ???

Ctrl+Alt+Shift+' for typographer's quotes

Apparently I've been using 'n' wrong... I blame PAK'nSAVE...

Dashes!!!

en dash:

wider than your standard hyphen

used in place of the 'to' in cases like 9-5

option + hyphen

em dash:

used to break up a thought

option + shift + hyphen

insert white space (thin space) on either side of them rather than a spacebar

be consistent!

Spacing Characters:

to get an m space before a bullet point, press option click on bullets and numbering and click on the > for options

command + alt + x = entering a nonbreaking space, for when you want a name/two words to be on the same line, no matter what you do with the text

Elipses

if you just do 3 dots it might go over a line break

ellipses character option + ;

you can use the find/change function to automate the function if you want to change all of them

Optical Sizing

sometimes punctuation can be too big!

you can make them smaller and then shift the baseline

@ symbols often look too big

this goes more for business card design etc. rather than editorial design as such

Chapter 6: Opentype Features

Ligatures

For serif fonts: basic character formats in paragraph styles check ligatures

you can also insert discretionary ligatures for a fancy little flourish

Fractions

you can select the fraction and it will offer the option to select it

create a character style for fractions if you're working with a number heavy document

To make a fraction manually, make the numerator superscript and the denominator subscript and adjust the baseline. In between isn't a slash it's a 'solidus' and the kyboard shortcut for this is option + shift + 1

Numerals

Tabular = normal + same as the cap height (good for tables or next to caps)

Oldstyle goes bellow the baseline

Contextual Alternates

opentype > swash will give you a fun swoopy start to your letter

Preferences > advanced type > select show for alternates

these alternates can really add some flair to your type

stylistic sets give you preset alternatse throughout the type ! A little bit unusual but is a growing field

Reflection:

Wow that was overwhelming! There is so much I don't know. I'm really excited for the second half of this series because that is more of the macro design - which is what I'm far more interested in (alignment etc).

I can see how a typographer's eye would be a little bit like my english tutor eye when proof reading a piece of text. There must be so many little mistakes that people make that drives typographers crazy!!!

[coffee-bat]

sure i do! (posting screenshot of ask for easier formatting)

(also, i have a whump headcannons ask that i've been compiling the response to for the past weeks (anon who asked, i'm so sorry it's taking so long, i'm not ignoring your ask), so this one will focus strictly on everything OTHER than whump.)

- he often bites his nails when stressed, or even just bored (or when he has no cigar on hand. he has a thing for chewing/nibbling on things). stopping himself from doing it is one of the reasons he wears gloves (other than for warmth and to shield his hands from damage), as having his nails bit too short is painful and can make his work almost impossible. (saying this as a nail biter. you literally CANNOT use a finger that you bit the nail of too short)

- speaking of stimming, aside from biting things, he uses the compass around his neck as a stim toy. it's useless around him, as his own magnetic field renders it impossible to point north as it should, but he'll often play with it by making it spin through altering his field. it requires both focus and a small bit of physical effort, effectively taking his mind off whatever's stressing him, at least for a short bit until he gets bored.

- he thinks he can cook, but anyone who's ever tried his cooking strongly disagrees. while his techniques are okay, like he doesn't burn or undercook stuff, the things he makes are borderline inedible. (he once made a party cheese salad for a family meeting and lowkey bonded with moreau over him being the only one to like the atrocity)

- he's the youngest of the lords (with the age order being alcina>moreau>donna>karl). donna looks younger than him, however it's mostly because of his healing factor being worse than the others', making him actually age (even if very slow) instead of being stuck in time.

- he DESPISES family meetings, along with the family dinners miranda keeps insisting on (which take place either at the castle or at donna's place, as moreau's reservoir and the factory are unsuited for that to say the least), but the latter's redeeming factor is that, if he's lucky, he gets a unique opportunity to fuck with alcina. which usually means eating her out of house and home (using the fact that she's too proud of her good manners to refuse a guest), getting drunk, wrecking her house (muddy boots who?) and then passing out somewhere. it gives him the opportunity to make himself her problem and he loves that. (i've actually started work on a comic a few weeks ago where alcina kicks karl off a random couch she finds him on (in a food coma), a shitposty thing with a SLIGHTLY wholesome-ish ending (as wholesome as alcina gets), but it was taking so long that i just gave up at some point. though, if any of y'all would like to see it finished, let me know, it'd be easier to motivate myself to do it if i knew anyone actually wanted me to lol)

- he holds animals close to his heart but would hate to admit it, in fear of appearing weak or soft. claims that he lets the one (1) cat stay in his factory ONLY because it helps with rats, totally not for company because he's a sad lonely man, what are you talking about.

-he's neither a cat or dog person, he likes both equally, but it'd be far harder to keep a dog in his quarters, seeing as it would require both more space and regular walks + playtime, while a cat is perfectly happy with just getting to sleep on him at night (in terms of contact/bonding).

- though, while he doesn't have a dog, he lowkey treats the lycans as such. keeps them under his control solely through giving them dog treats he buys from the duke. (took him a long time and lots of claw/teeth injuries to figure that out, but hey, better late than never).

--warning: the next few paragraphs discuss weight insecurity and body dysmorphia. i'll let you know when the segment ends so you can skip it if it's triggering or makes you uncomfortable--

- he's insecure about his body, both the scars littered across it and his weight. the first can't be helped and he's aware of it, however the latter TECHNICALLY CAN be and thus it bothers him far more. he used to be in a better shape, both mentally and physically, before his life was completely consumed by his work and plans of the rebellion, however these days, he just can't afford to focus on keeping himself in shape (he doesn't have the time and energy to exercise outside of the weight lifting he has to do while working, and same goes for taking care of his diet. cooking and eating balanced food takes too much time and energy, making him resort to whatever is the quickest to make and will keep him going through the day). he feels intense discomfort when looking at younger pictures of himself, he can't help but feel that he has "let himself go" in the recent years, however simultanously doesn't have the time and energy to do anything about it. it's frustrating and makes him feel out of control.

- alcina once touched on the topic while arguing with him, and it fucked him up. up until then he clang onto the small bit of hope that maybe noone has noticed the changes in his body, that maybe it was just him that was hypersensitive to it and in reality it wasn't that visible, and alcina's comment instantly shattered it. not only did she notice, but she apparently considered it worthy of using against him. there goes his last bit of confidence.

- it was one of the very few times she has seen him actually cry (before storming off to hide himself in his factory). it was also one of the few times she had apologized to him. she has made comments about his height and general looks before, and it never seemed to bother him, he always retorded back with a snarky remark targeted back at her, so she truly thought he had no insecurity issues- but this time, for the first time, he just looked hurt, almost disbelieving, and ran away without a word. it made her initial anger melt away instantly, realizing what she did. she ran after him a few minutes later, hoping it wasn't too late and she hadn't done unreversable damage. the whole incident was a major blow to her ego, especially as she was forced to beg karl over the intercom to let her in, but she wouldn't have forgiven herself if she didn't tell him that she was sorry and didn't mean it. she had to admit to herself that it truly was a low blow and she couldn't let herself be carried away like this ever again.

- karl's confidence never really healed from the incident, it's not something he can just forget. but he did get a kick out of having alcina beg for forgiveness, so he considers at least that to be an upside of the whole thing.

--weight/body dysmorphia discussion ends here--

- he gets sensory overloads easily, especially from loud noise, making him snappy if there's too many people talking/making noise. he also often has issues with things touching him when he's already stressed - due to this, he keeps a hairband in his pocket at all times (to keep his hair out of his face), and has tied the belt of his trench coat behind his back so it wouldn't touch his arms while moving around (that one is actually part of his character model). having things hanging off him irritates him greatly.

- he has a tendency to cling onto/hug whatever is in his reach while he's asleep. usually it's a pillow or his blanket, but it's also a risk one should be aware of when choosing to sleep in one bed with him. you're gonna wake up in a death grip. and he's a heavy sleeper, so don't even think about going to the bathroom.

- speaking of physical affection, he loves massages, they're one of his favorite types of affection to receive. any kind of them, really. he's sore most of the time, so a bit of relief is always greatly appreciated. back/shoulders after a long day of work, tummy if his cadou is bothering him or his eating habits fucked him over again, maybe even hands if he's worked manually for too long and his palms are starting to cramp. it's all really appreciated. (another factor contributing to why he likes them is that they're completely selfless acts of affection. his partner isn't getting anything out of it (like they would with anything sexual or romantic), its only purpose is to help him feel better. makes him feel loved.)

- speaking of, he literally cried the first time ethan gave him a shoulder rub. feeling the decades worth of pain, tiredness and muscle strain that he didn't realize he felt finally fade, be washed away, made his eyes water, he couldn't help it. it wasn't long after they had moved in together (as roommates, since karl had nowhere to go), and to karl, it felt like an affirmation that it's over, he can relax, he can rest now. no need to keep overworking himself, to keep not letting himself ever catch a break because "he might like it too much and stop chasing his goal", to keep doing anything to keep himself going for years on end despite knowing it's ruining his body. it's done, it's over, he finally deserves a rest. it made ethan deeply confused and concerned before karl sobbed out why he's crying.

these are all for now, i think! at least all that comes to mind at the moment. if you'd like me to talk about headcannons on a specific subject/topic (or expand on any of these ones), let me know! i'm sure to think of something that i haven't already, or forgot to write down. i just love talking about headcannons, man.

[dumbikawa]

Being Stressed About Exams & HQ Boys Comforting You

GN!Reader | Comfort/Fluff | Warnings: stressed reader

Characters: Atsumu, Oikawa

A/n: This is extremely self-indulgent as school has been kicking my butt and the future post-graduation is very terrifying lol

ATSUMU

You stare at the computer in front of you, the text you’re supposed to read for class beginning to swim together as your eyes fill with tears. Everything is happening too fast and you feel completely unprepared to take any of it on. What if you spent all of this time and money on schooling only to fail so close to the end? What if you finally do finish, but then can’t find a job in your field? Should you have studied something else? The questions become more exhausting and constant the closer it gets to exams. 

Small droplets roll off your cheeks and begin to pool on your keyboard. You haphazardly wipe them away before powering off the computer and tucking it back in your bag. Out of sight, out of mind, you figure. It’s not like there’s any use in trying to finish it tonight when you can already feel another wave of stress induced tears coming on. Those have also become a regular thing.

You click the volume button on your phone so that the sounds of music fill the room before leaning back in the desk chair, testing the limits of how far you can recline before gravity takes over. Atsumu had made this study playlist for you when he first noticed how stressed you were. It contained a mixture of your favorite songs, his favorite songs, and a few ‘motivational’ songs he pulled from his work-out playlists. It was a bit of a weird Frankenstein mash up with the large variety of genres, but it quickly became one of your studying must haves.

Over the sound of the music, you couldn’t hear the shower click off and the door to the bathroom swinging open. When Atsumu steps out, he sees you sitting where he’d left you, although, in a more dangerous position than you’d been in before as he notices the way the desk char teeters back and forth. His attention is quickly caught by the music choice, though, recognizing one of the songs playing as a favorite of his he added to the playlist he made for you a couple weeks ago. A smile breaks through his face as he hurriedly jumps into a pair of sweatpants before approaching your quiet figure.

As he comes up behind you, though, he notices a slight glisten upon your cheeks and a few fresh tears that tumble from your closed eyes. His upturned lips quickly sink as worry floods through him. Exams had been taking a toll on you, it wasn’t hard to tell, but he would never get used to seeing you cry.

“Baby,” he whispers, gently wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “What can I do for ya? Food? Cuddles? Cry it out?” You nod, resting the chair back on the ground and practically launching yourself into his arms.

Atsumu catches you with ease, his strong arms holding you against his chest. His hand rubs up and down your spine, sending shivers racing down you back, but there's no ulterior motive to his gentle touches. He continues the soft touches as he guides you to the bed, only letting you go for a second before allowing you to bury yourself in his side again.

“What if I can’t do it?” you whisper, trailing your fingers across Atsumu's toned chest. “I’ve studied for so long, but what if it doesn’t work out? What if--What if I don’t actually know anything and I crash and burn and--”

Atsumu shushes you gently, placing a few comforting kisses to your forehead. He notices your breathing beginning to grow heavier as your anxiety takes over. There's a few moments of silence as you try to match your breathing to his, the two of you taking slow, deep breaths in sync.

“The future might be unsure and stressful, but I know you’re going to do your best and make it work. All you can do is continue to work towards your goals and handle everything as it comes. Not to mention, I’m always going to be here to remind you of how strong you are even if you don’t see it.”

A new wave of tears begins as his words echo through your ears. You bury your face in his chest as your arms wrap around his waist in an attempt to pull yourself as close to him as you physically can be. Somehow he knew exactly what you needed to hear and a part of you wonders if he’s ever repeated those sentiments to himself when things felt unsure.

He continues to whisper reassurances as you fully relax against him, your tears finally beginning to dry up. You lift your head and offer him a weak smile.

“Thanks for letting me cry on your abs,” you sniffle, allowing yourself to truly laugh.

Atsumu feels lighter as he watches you smile and joke, hopefully being able to forget about the more stressful parts of life for a while as he holds you close. There’s been countless times where you eased his worries about the future, so he’s just happy that he can return the favor and create a safe space where you’re allowed to simply be.

OIKAWA

The cup in your hand is warm and comforting as you trudge towards your bedroom, a sense of dread washing over you as soon as your eyes land upon the laptop you left sitting open on the bed. With finals coming up, you thought it would be a good idea to transfer the notes you had written down during lectures onto your computer, figuring it would make them easier to access and that the process of going back through the information would be a good way to ensure you remember the material.

What you didn’t realize, however, is how absolutely time consuming and exhausting it was going to be. Your neck hurts from constantly looking back and forth between the paper and computer screen, your back hurts because somewhere along the way you abandoned any semblance of healthy posture and decided to go full cave gremlin in the way you hunched over your work, and instead of absorbing the information for a second time it seemed as if your brain had completely abandoned you and gone on autopilot. Shoving the computer off the bed and taking a nap feels like the best course of action right now, but you know if you stop now there’s no way you’re going to want to finish later.

Begrudgingly, you settle back onto the bed and take a large swig of coffee before stretching your fingers and placing them back on the keyboard. It couldn’t take that much longer right? All you have to do is push through and get it done.

And, for the next few hours, that’s what you do. You jump back in where you left off and race through the next few, gruelingly long chapters. The daylight outside quickly dwindles away until you’re forced to turn on the bedside lamp when you realize the sun has sunk far below the horizon and is beginning to cast bizarre shadows around the room. It was no bother, though, because you’re so close to being done. The issue is that neither your brain nor your body could keep up anymore.

Your fingers keep hitting the wrong keys, typing made up words that have you constantly backspacing and starting sentences over again for a third of even a fourth time. The breaking point comes when you go to take a sip of your now cold coffee and look back at the screen after attempting to type an entire paragraph from your notes in one go. Little did you know your finger placement was off, yet again, and the entire paragraph is an unreadable mess that even spell check doesn’t want to touch.

The tears that sting your eyes make you feel stupid. It was entirely too dumb to cry over something as superficial as misspellings that could be easily fixed and cold coffee. But once the tears start they won’t stop. Suddenly, you’re not crying over the notes or even school work in general. You’re crying about the crushing weight of change that's soon to come once you finish with classes and how impossible everything has begun to feel.

You’re too exhausted to focus on anything anymore, letting the hot tears run down your cheeks freely, which is why you don’t hear the rushed footsteps of your boyfriend who could hear your hiccuping breaths from down the hall. 

He doesn’t say anything when he sees you curled up on the bed, your face buried in your arms. Oikawa sits on the ground closest to you and lays his head near yours as he begins to run his slender fingers through your hair. It doesn't take a psychic to tell you've been stressed with the quickly approaching exams, and from the collection of notes littered all around to the half closed computer the dots practically connect themselves.

The slight dip on the bed near your head alerts you to his presence, but you don't move. His hands guiding themselves over your scalp is quick to relax your body, but your mind feels like it's about to burst any moment as the thoughts continue to race.

“You’re doing so good,” he whispers against your temple, planting soft kisses after every word, “and you deserve to take a break. Remember when you used to have to tell me that all the time?" The feeling of his quiet laughter against your skin makes you smile, along with the memories of simpler times before either of you had barely begun to grasp how harsh the world could be.

"I picked up dinner for us, it was an apology for coming home late," he admits, kissing the top of your head. "But let's go heat it up and you can either tell me everything you're worried about or we can try to forget all about it for now and watch a movie. I'd really like it if you talked about it eventually, though. I know I'm not going to be able to fix it all, but that doesn't mean I can't try."

You turn your head to the side, exposing your tear stained cheeks that are quickly wiped away by Oikawa's calloused thumbs.

"I will," you say, voice heavy. "For now could you just hold me?" There isn't a second of hesitation as Oikawa slips his arms beneath your figure and presses you tightly against him.

"Movie it is," he announces, laying you on the couch with the remotes so that you could put on whatever you want. Your brain would never stop the constant anxious thoughts, but losing yourself in those chocolate brown eyes made it easy to imagine a future where it all works out somehow. Little do you know, Oikawa sees the same thing reflected in your eyes as he wonders about the right time, perhaps a couple years from now when you've both settled down in your careers, when he can finally buy that ring he's been looking at.

[tetsvhoe]

AFRAID | HAIKYUU FILO SMAU

MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

#17 can't compare

– note that this is on the same day as the ig posts in the prev chapter!

– written portion below is quite suggestive but nothing explicit

– added an extra chapter in continuation which is purely smut and didn't add tags. im sorta testing the waters with smut works. minors dni with that one.

taglist | anitwt

@mirakeul @erinoikawa @haji-bby @seijohoe @szeonn @banananaa4 @stffychn @vvvselfindulgence @devilgirlcrybabiey @knmsapplepi @duhsies @littlemochi @mikeystomanjacket @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa @bakugouswh0r3 @aizameow

a gust of wind blows against your face and you let out an exasperated sigh, head falling forward and a sob escaping your lips. your head is spinning from the alcohol and mostly from the amount of emotions you’re feeling all at once. you find that, like always, you’re more sensitive when you’ve had a drink or two, but it’s something you don’t want iwaizumi to know. which is why when you hear frantic footsteps and his voice faintly calling out your name in the distance, you rush to wipe your tears with the back of your hand. he seizes your wrist faster than you anticipated him to arrive right in front of you and implores you to look at him.

“ba’t ka umiiyak?” he whispers, voice soft and strained at the same time. you can’t help but lift your eyes to meet his and you take in his knitted brows and concerned gaze. it only sets your emotions off even more. iwaizumi swiftly wraps his arms around your trembling shoulders and pulls you to his chest, chin resting atop your head as he hushes you soothingly. “do you want to go somewhere quieter, do you want to leave?” he asks, pushing the hair off your face.

“ba’t ka umiiyak?” he whispers, voice soft and strained at the same time. you can’t help but lift your eyes to meet his and you take in his knitted brows and concerned gaze. it only sets your emotions off even more. iwaizumi swiftly wraps his arms around your trembling shoulders and pulls you to his chest, chin resting atop your head as he hushes you soothingly. “do you want to go somewhere quieter, do you want to leave?” he asks, pushing the hair off your face.

“ayoko sa’yo,” you mumble, stubbornly pushing him away as if you didn’t just relish in the feeling of being in his arms mere seconds ago.

“ano ba ginawa ko, okay naman tayo kanina?”

you frown at him, annoyed. you want to cuss him out and kick him on the shin for being stupidly oblivious, but the words caught in your throat. why were you crying? you wanted to tell him because it felt too real; the supposedly harmless flirting despite you being at each other’s throats most of the time, the sarcastic good mornings and good nights pretending to be an unbearable high school couple, the spontaneous breakfast dates when he picks you up and you both end up being late, the lingering glances between training breaks when you go to hand him a cold bottle of water you so “happened” to pick up while you were buying one for your friend, the sneaking out of class and meeting each other for cigarettes and gossip. it felt—it feels to real to you and you’re afraid you’re nothing more than a distraction to him. but nothing comes out of your mouth, so you opt to turn on your heel and go back inside.

he catches your wrist again and drags you all the way to the parking lot, ignoring your whines and protests. he’s now just as annoyed as you because he could have sworn, he saw something in your eyes. like you were about to tell him something he is desperate to hear—what it is exactly he can’t quite put a finger on it himself. he needs to hear it from you.

“hajime, quit fucking around i really don’t want to be around you right now,” you grumble, freeing your hand from his grasp when you reach the empty dimly lit space. you lean against the trunk of his car, crossing your arms over your chest.

“tell me what i did wrong then! fuck—” he frustratedly runs his rough hands over his face, turning away from you. he feels his heartstrings tug and he hates it; he hates arguing like you for real, and hates seeing you cry, and hates hearing you say his name like that.

“tanga ka ba o bobo? o both? i mean—i knew you didn’t like me, but you didn’t have to put it that way!”

“what?”

“you didn’t have to tell me i can’t compare to someone like her. i know that already couldn’t you just—”

“ikaw kinulang ka ba ng buwan sa tyan ng nanay mo? i said she can’t compare to you, dumbass.”

he catches you off guard, you stumble on your words for a few moments before arguing back, “same thing, dipshit!”

“no it’s not, i literally meant she means nothing to me and you…” iwaizumi’s eyes finds yours under the glow of the moonlight and stares into them intently, suddenly losing his words. you stare back at him, stunned and wide eyed. no matter how many times you suck in a breath it feels like it doesn’t quite reach your lungs and you find yourself gasping for air, your body trembles from the force of your heart beating against your chest.

you swallow thickly as he closes in the distance between the two of you slowly. “i don’t know what you’re talking about. tooru literally said she’s your ex of 11 months. 11 months, haji! you can’t just not tell me about her, i mean you can of course. buhay mo ‘yan, pero alam mo ‘yon gusto ko rin naman malaman kung anong meron,” you ramble in a panic, avoiding his gaze as he approaches you. you let out a nervous chuckle as you notice his arms leaning against his car on either side of you, effectively trapping you inside. “like ‘di ko kasi alam anong iisipin bigla ka na lang naging masungit sa akin nung binanggit ko siya kanina, akala ko kasi—”

iwaizumi cuts you off as his soft lips meet yours. hands come up to cradle your cheek and squeeze at your waist as he pulls you impossibly close. you’re startled for a moment, but you instantly melt into his touch and find your lips move in sync with his.

he smiles against your lips smugly, “so that’s how i shut you up,” he teases.

“fuck off,” you mutter before connecting your lips again eagerly, arms wrapping around his neck and hands tangling themselves into his hair.

edit from after i posted ch 22: tumblr fucked up the paragraphs but i didn't change anything i still have the orig docu ;)

[smalltownfae]

In or Out Book Tag

I saw this tag on youtube so I wanted to do it too. Simple as that. Original creator: here.

Questions:

1. Reading the last page first

Out. I know a person that does this and I never got it. Why does someone go out of their way to spoil themselves like that?

2. Enemies to lovers

In. Unfortunatelly it's seldom done well. The only example I can think of that I like is Vilanelle and Eve from the show "Killing Eve".

3. Dream sequences

Out. I don't care for them. Maybe if the dreams are short and meaningful, but otherwise it's a no from me.

4. Love triangles

Out. Overdone and once again I can't remember ever seeing it done well.

5. Cracked Spines

In. I don't mind them and if I have to crack the spine in order to read the book then I will. If I am afraid to crack the spine when I can barelly read the text it will be a terrible experience. Not worth the effort.

6. Back to my small town

In. I like the small town as a setting for a mystery or creepy story a lot.

7. Monsters are regular people

In. I've seen people interpreting this one in two ways and I like both: monsters that do what every other human does and humans that are the real monsters. One has the potential to be really funny and the other really philosophical.

8. No paragraph breaks

Out. Please let me rest.

9. Multi-generational sagas

Out. Did anyone ask for that Boruto thing because I sure didn't ask for the continuation of Shaman King with Yoh's kid. It can be done right, but more often than not I would just prefer to read another book instead of following the kids of my fav characters, which I have to get attached to all over again if I ever do. However, if Hobb ever decides to write more books about Bee I will read them. I already consider the Fitz and the Fool trilogy as Bee's books and a separate thing from Farseer and Tawny Man anyways. I also enjoyed the 2 Sevenwaters books that I've read.

10. Re-reading

In. 100%. I really like re-reading my favourite books and finding new stuff or change my mind about certain things. That's the beauty (and pain) of it.

11. Artificial intelligence

In. Scifi is not really my thing, but the AI is usually my favourite part in movies (Space Odyssey is super boring but the scenes with HAL are spectacular). I am pickier when it comes to scifi books, but I really like AIs and robots usually. The story just needs to be more than that.

12. Drop Caps

In. They look classy.

13. Happy endings

In. I prefer bittersweet endings, but what matters the most is that the ending fits the rest of the story. So, if the happy ending fits I love it. An example is "Howl's Moving Castle" by DWJ.

14. Plot points that only converge at the end

Out. I like multiple povs that intersect at some point in the story, but not when it's only at the end. What is even the purpose of that if I don't even see the characters interact before?

15. Detailed magic systems

Out. As you all know I don't love Sanderson like magic systems. I like my magic to be mysterious instead of looking like science. I like to foccus on characters instead of pages of explanation about how the magic system works.

16. Classic fantasy races

Out. Maybe shocking for some, but just like I don't like pages of explanation about the magic system I also don't like it when it's done to explain races. I can enjoy it when it's naturally inserted into the story like in "The Goblin Emperor" but more often than not these races belong in really high fantasy, which I am not much into. Don't get me started on the racist origins of some fantasy races too...

17. Unreliable narrators

In. Love them. All I care is that the characters are complex and interesting and I think it's very human to make ourselves look better while telling a story or to make ourselves look the worst due to lack of self-esteem or something else. A character as a narrator will always have their own interpretation of events that aren't always the reality and I love finding contradictions that make sense in the text.

18. Evil protagonists

Out. I like morally gray characters, but not a character that can be defined as evil. Evil is as little complex as good and characters that can be put in those simple boxes aren't usually the most interesting. Good and evil is what people do not what people are.

19. The chosen one

Out. I like when the trope is subverted, but I hate it when there is that one single character that saves everyone or something of the like. Besides that, it's an overdone trope. I prefer group efforts to save the world or whatever it is and just average people being caught up in dificult events.

20. When the protagonist dies

Out. I am following this character for what? Unless I have been following more protagonists or the main character dies at the end I am not fine with it. If I kept reading that means I was attached to that character so stopping that in order for me to begin getting to know a different character sounds odd to me. Maybe people said "A Game of Thrones" for this one, but Ned wasn't the only protagonist and I didn't even care much for him so... :x

21. Really long chapters

Out. Look, I like to take breaks and I often say "just one more chapter". I don't like stopping in the middle of a chapter, but that always happens if it's a long one.

22. French flaps

In. Most books translated in portuguese have french flaps. I really like them. They look nice.

23. Deckled edges

Out. I don't mind them, but I prefer if the book doesn't have them. I own two books like that and it's a bit odd even if the effect is sort of pretty.

24. Signed copies by the author

Out. I only care if I get to see and talk to the author and take a photo with them. Otherwise I don't care if books are signed or not. The same way I don't care for autographs. I just don't see the point. It doesn't add anything to my experience.

25. Dog-earing pages

Out. I used to do it a lot as a kid but now I have a bunch of bookmarks and other stuff I can use to mark the place so dog-earing just seems unecessary. I would do it as last resource though.

26. Chapter titles instead of numbers

Out. I like chapter with titles AND numbers. I hate having to count in order to tell someone in which chapter I am because it doesn't have a number... the title is longer than writing a number.

That is all. Please feel free to do this tag if you want to. I think it's fun and an easy way to beware of my book tastes.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

hi, Rachel. I've been wanting to write flash fiction for a while—not too long ago I started writing short stories but always on the longer side. But I can't understand exactly the difference between a longer and shorter piece, or how sometimes a short-short feels as vivid as a longer one, and google just states the obvious (write less words :D). So I know you've written a few and I really respect you in this art. Do you have any tips or help? even if you don't know, do you have resources? thanks

I wrote this post earlier but it ! disappeared! EDIT: I also thought I posted this but apparently I did not?? maybe I did?? I don’t know?? sorry this took forever! but luckily this is like my favourite thing to talk about in writing! The difference between flash fiction versus short short fiction and long short fiction really all comes down to structure, so I’ll share three different structures I’ve made up to help illustrate what I mean. (So keep in mind this is all made up by me and therefore may not make sense lol!)

I just wrote up a post on sticking to shorter word counts with @ellatholmes​ which you can check out here!

Disclaimer: While I’ll be separating short fiction into three categories (flash fiction, shorter short fiction, longer short fiction), even the nuances in these categories require different things. For example, even though stories between 1k-3500 words may count under shorter short fiction, a 1200 word story is going to have completely different needs than a 3500 word story, and the more practice you get, the more obvious these needs become. 200 words could be the difference between 50 different structures, so take these as a place to start but also the best way to understand how to write shorter short fiction is to do that: don’t allow yourself to go over a certain word count, and if you must for the story, reflect on what structure it may be following.

Usually when we’re taught story structure, it looks something like this:

(via skyword)

This obviously works, but visually, at least for me, can be a bit confusing because that inciting incident is just a flat plane that seems to propel rising action, when in reality, I think it’s a peak in itself and where the entire story lies.

1. Shorter short fiction structure (1000-3500 words)

We can break down this structure in 4 steps:

0) regular boring life before the story starts (not written in)

1) inciting incident (story starts here are as close to here when things get interesting)

2) rising action - story’s events happen here and lead to...

3) short changing moment (can be a decision, a realization, anything where the character “changes” in some way from who they were at the start of the story)

4) Denouement (usually very short, depending on the story this can be a paragraph or 1-2 sentences)

This kind of story has a bit more room than the second option to have more defined “moments”, but still it is quite compact, so efficiency is still required.

2. Shorter short fiction structure (modified - usually works for flash fiction)

This structure is 3 steps! It’s very similar to the above, but just slightly compressed with some different terminology I’ve made up lol!

0) regular boring life before story starts (not written in)

1) inciting/disruptive event (something happens here that disrupts the character’s life << NOTE that I’ve opted to call this the inciting/DISRUPTIVE event because in shorter short fiction, there may not be as much space to have a fleshed-out “event”, per se, but rather, just enough space to describe something [even in one sentence] that somehow disrupts that character’s life. For example, in my short story “Fig” the disruptive event is that someone dies--we don’t see this happen on the page, but it’s implied right away).

2) consequences of disruptive event (aka rising action, except I like to think of this as the consequences to that disruptive event until you make it to the inevitable end)

3) inevitable end (some change should occur to the character over the course of the story but it may be subtler/a smaller change)

This structure is more in line with the structure of a “moment” (how I like to view flash fiction in general). There is more concentration on this moment rather than setup, and usually you only get the information that is absolutely vital for understanding (even more so than you usually do in other kinds of short fiction).

Longer short fiction structure (3500+ words)

0) regular boring life before the story starts (not written in)

1) inciting incident (story starts here are as close to here when things get interesting)

2) rising action that leads to...

3) moment of change (this might be what you’d call the novel’s climax, but I view this as a moment when the character changes somehow from who they were at the beginning of the story)

4) denouement

This structure differs from the others as it has a bit more room to explore character change (obviously in that moment of change). The character might have a more defined, longer moment of “lift” or a reflective moment toward the end of the story, where that “lift” may be much, much shorter in the previous two structures.

I think the secret to getting a shorter short story feel as vivid as a much longer one is to understand their skeletons so that you’re not making your story top heavy or bottom heavy with thinness on either end (which I’ve 100% done in the past)! Redefining shorter short fiction is VITAL though. I don’t think people talk about this enough--the differences between each kind of short fiction. Flash fiction is just an impression, a little dip into a moment that still feels satisfying without being over 1k words. That’s a very difficult task, because it all depends on your idea. Some ideas are simply not flash fiction ideas because they intrinsically require more room to exist. When I wrote Mama Lives in My Mouth which is flash and is coming out in Young Voices soon so you can see that yourself, I immediately knew the idea of a mother living inside her child’s mouth would NEVER work in a piece longer than 1k words. I didn’t think I could sustain that idea, which meant I immediately knew it would be a shorter piece. This is a muscle you’ll develop as you write short fiction, and is a muscle I’m still developing myself! I know it’s difficult to parse whether or not an idea is a longer or shorter story when you’re first starting, which is why sometimes, it’s best to just jump in and fail. Failing is how I learned how to write a story and the differences between these three structures and when I may pull on one and not the other. At the end of the day, these structures are essentially the exact same. It goes INCITING INCIDENT > STORY’S EVENTS THAT LEAD TO > MOMENT OF CHANGE/REFLECTION/CLIMAX > STORY ENDS, but the placement/duration of these events differs, which is really only something you can understand when you do it!

I hope that helps! If anyone has any resources on flash fiction, please send them my way! <3

[thefarrons]

Everything right with XIII

With opinions so mixed on XIII either going from one extreme to the other, those being either "XIII was the best game ever and has no issues" or "It was the worst game ever and a disgrace to the franchise!" I thought it would be interesting if I (someone who legitimately enjoyed the game and noticed dozens of problems in my over 100hrs of playtime) did a (almost) unbiased look at the game and go over everything wrong and right with XIII as well as give opinions on what could be improved or changed in a future port.

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for the sake of time and page space im going to be breaking this up into two separate posts. this first one is going to be on everything right with the game.

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\*EVERYTHING GOOD WITH XIII\*

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\*STORY AND FLUIDITY\*

with XV coming and showing us just how much we take game narratives for granted XIII presents it's on-screen narrative particularly well. the games narrative flows pretty well as relevant and exciting cutscenes happen every half and hour or so always giving the player something to look forward to while playing. You never go for long stretches of playtime without something happening in the story unlike XV (don't worry im not going to just bash XV) and most chapters end in a cliffhanger like fashion giving incentive to players to keep playing to see what happens next.

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The datalog is another debatable feature of the game but one that ultimately does more good then bad. say you missed a term, character's name or location in a cutscene? no problem cause the game essentially gives you an in game glossary to scroll through giving you all the data you need to keep up with or lean about the games plot or world. Now this does come with a downside "yes" but that'll be explained later.

​"no need for a wiki search now"

the game also has brief chapter summaries that can be read every time you load up the game. Say you last played a week ago and are a bit rusty on what happened last. No problem as you can now just read a quick paragraph and get all caught up.

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the ending to the game is also pretty sound as conflicts brought up earlier are resolved and although there are two sequels afterwards you don't feel obligated to play them as the ending here is ultimately satisfying.

​"no need for a sequel here"

\*PLOT AND CHARACTERS\*

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Im not going to delve super deep into either of the two as both topics could easily take up an essay each individually.

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The plot of XIII is overall messy. While you certainly don't get the "obviously unfinished" vibe like you do with XV you also can't help but feel there was a lot left on the cutting room floor for XIII. The standard plot of XIII is alright more or less. the main conflict of XIII is fairly explained well. a group of (mostly) strangers are branded enemies of their home and have to find a way to complete their "focus" or suffer either eternal sleep or a zombified existence. The main plot of the game is explained as the characters do take the time to explain specific concepts and terms so the player just watching the cutscenes and not reading the datalog can stay up to speed with the story. XIII however looses it's players with it's finer details or abstract details never being explained well or never explained at all but more on this later.

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tldr: the OVERALL plot of the story isn't too hard to follow but the finer details of the story are muddled and incoherent

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The cast of XIII however is easily one of the two best reasons to play the game. The main party of XIII is a bunch of mostly strangers who have been thrown together and have to cooperate with one another or die. while the main story of the game can be a bit of a head scratch it's characters make up for it with their interactions with one another. The main party has a lot of problems with each other but also problems with themselves and the fun of being with this party is seeing when one confronts another, how they react and what change this causes. it's satisfying when they finally accept one another as they've actually grown with one another so when they finally start throwing some banter in the second half it feels earned as you the player knows first hand knows what these characters have been through together.

​"the game has great character arc's"

\*ART DESIGN & MUSIC\*

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XIII is a linear game and by this time you and your grandmother knows about it however just because the lvl design itself sucks doesn't automatically equate to "boring". Although linear XIII easily boasts some of the most impressive areas in backdrops in the series in terms of visually alone. every "hallway" you travel is visually polished to the T and always relevant to the main story at hand. aside from two particular areas most usually aren't very long and before you know it your on to the next location. While it's unfortunate you can't "explore" much you can totally get a sense for what type of world the game is trying to convey to you. From the SI-FI bridges and highways on cocoon to the wilderness of pulse below you feel like your in another world especially with the fantastic ost from Masashi Hamauzu.

"I'll take this any day over an empty open world"

all and all while I definitely understand why XIII's linearity can be disappointing especially with what I just wrote above I still don't see why it's art design and music can't make up for that and still take you to another world.

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\*THE BATTLE SYSTEM\*

​"this is how a paradigm deck should look"

arguably the best the best thing to come out of XIII and the franchise in general. The paradigm system is a great combination of gambits from XII and standard ATB. XII while deep got a lot of flack for its lean towards set ups rather than active play. XIII takes from the system it built while overall streamlining it and merged it with standard turn based combat. XIII requires players to prepare for battle by setting up strategies (paradigms) outside combat and then executing them during. It's a system easily rewards your ability to plan beforehand and your speed and timing once in battle. players are *incentivized* to play ASAP for a star rating. the quicker you are the more stars you get which gets you better loot for upgrading or selling.

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"press x to win huh?

one of the more controversial topics with XIII are it's level caps and while they certainly are a detriment in the long run they actually serve a good purpose during a first time playthrough. In a lot of rpg's in general when a player is faced with a boss or enemy they can't beat they simply grind to overpower the enemy through sheer stats and numbers rather than actually beating them with skills or techniques. XIII mitigates this issue by limiting how much grinding the player can do in one given chapter. This in turn forces the player to lean the battle system and use the tools at their disposal to overcome whatever challenge the player faces.

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"It's so pretty tho..."

\*POST GAME CONTENT\*

​"The place where I spent 100hrs"

XIII's post game content is a hard thing to sell overall. It's a post game that definitely requires how much the player enjoys the battle system or the characters. XIII has 64 overall missions to complete and each one of them is an interesting battle to overcome. doing these missions eventually unlock you Chocoboes to ride across the map and discover other areas of grand pulse. there's a survival like mode called "titans trials" in which players can compete in multiple lvls of pre set battles in which the player can net goods and rewards. there's also a couple hidden bosses hidden in a few select locations. The biggest downside to all this is that it's all one type of side content so the game is really banking hard that you fully know and love combat at that point and if you do then you easily have an extra 60 or so hrs added to your playtime.

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do you agree with what i wrote? please sound off below.

but yeah this is everything I think XIII does right. Thanks for reading all the way and I plan to also make a twin post about everything WRONG with the game. I actually really like this game but it has a lot of problems and I intend to break down all of them.

[ellyzsx]

Story time

Suicidal thoughts run keen through my head. Driving through Krakow country side I saw a housing estate next to lovely tall trees - forest like - and thought what a lovely area to be able to play as children. Then I wondered which is the tallest tree could I hang myself from? No former context, no sadness, just my empty emotions triggering my brain to tell myself I should be dead. This is how my life is now.

I dream most days and nights of my life ending in disasters. Lachesism. I say I'm scared of when lorrys drive to close or fast past me. But I'm scared for the moments when they don't kill me. People point out that I drive recklessly because they are afraid of the end; I'm not afraid. Driving that way feels like freedom, my chance to escape, even with intent to cause self harm.

I don't want a grave stone, I don't want my ashes to be spread. I want my organs donated and the rest burnt. The ashes can be used in cooking because I am one spicy mother fucker! Joking!! Don't worry, I really just want them turned in to jewelry so I can still shine while I'm gone.

The ironic thing about my situation is that I want to die to end my suffocating thoughts but at the same time I still have little bits of me that knows some of my self worth. Contradictory as it may be, I probably laugh and smile everyday without a doubt but my thoughts of disaster never leave. I work and study hard but I'm still occasionally believe I am a failure in my mind; like I'm always worse than everyone in the room. I love people and helping out everyone, but I think everyone hates me and would be better off not having me around. It's complicated in my mind.

I feel on the road to recovery, I can admit that I'm not okay when I don't feel okay, I know the past history that has gotten me to how I am and I'm seeking help; 3rd increase dose of Anti-depressants, Cognative Behavioural Therapy and many other forms of help I can get. I have supportive friends and family, I'm very lucky that I have my dream career job and I get to go on amazing holidays like just travelling in Poland for the past weekend. I just don't know what it is that drives myself hatrid other than... well myself.

It's a viscious cycle that I can't get escape. I'm motivated and feeling fine one day, something goes wrong very easily that affects me for weeks and then I find a little bit of motivation to build myself back up and it happens again... and again... and again. I try and count my blessings but in order to do that I draw Venn diagrams to see the wrong, okay and right things in my life. It's an occasional thing and the amount of varience I get each time seems like a uncoordinating joke. But It gives me a sense of assurance when things are okay or right for a few weeks in a row.

I've been taught many coping mechanisms in my past 4 years of anxiety and depression. Even writing them down in this form feels weirdly like a strategy. I'm explaining my dark and ugly, following my long journey ahead, and explaining what works for me. Even if one person gains usefulness then this is all worth it.

As we are on the topic of helpfulness: I like being helpful - it gives me a purpose other than selfish motives. If I've been helpful to one person and not to the rest of the crowd I feel like a failure. I desire to be the famous hero who didn't do it for fame but for the sheer enjoyment of people liking them and for a purpose in other people's lives. So I try to help - I volunteer at my local explorer scout group, I help raise and organise charity events, I help and support friends and family. I even try to go the extra mile at work to raise awareness of women in engineering to help inspire and shape them little girls to be the change our industry needs. I also help educate teams on mental well-being and illnesses with in the work place to bring the awareness to here and now.

All positive were written there, but the underlying negative abuse I hurl at myself for everything I've not been enough help on or not doing at all hurts:

"I'm not helpful I'm just in the way, I'm pathetic, I'm a waste of space, they don't need me, they'd be better off without me, it's not working you're a failure, you are making it more worse, stop trying you aren't a good person for doing it."

Just as them thoughts constantly pass through my mind another extreme example from this evening I write on - I was on the train back from Birmingham walking through derby station, I had the thought that I could run away on any train go ahead and not look back and when I'm on the train I can take every single tablet I own and swallow it to die. Or i could come back another night with a home made bomb and make sure I'm in a carraige with no people in it. Why not die? Make it a dramatic escape. Even in the last few typed words I had the thought of jumping in front of a train which would take no effort and only affect 1 person's life than my own. Why do I have these thoughts? Am I a physco path planning my death at every opportunity?

Reading back the first few paragraphs I see how contradicting my thought patterns are. Living with Anxiety and Depression for me is being followed by a voice, it knowing all my insicurities and how to use them against me. It gets to a point where it's the loudest voice in a room, that I can't hear anything else. I don't remember a time when it wasn't like this, when the voices didn't make me feel empty and alone inside. What's even worse is a lot of the people I have opened my heart to have let me down, causing me to shut down further.

My past history is not brilliant, I never felt secure with my friends, I was harassed in college and I've always struggled to maintain my apperance. I've been through some tough break ups of friends and partners and my relationships with family has not always been stable. One thing I find hard is to love myself and know myself worth when the people around you don't like you and tell you that you aren't good enough. But through all this at the same time I've had some amazing times.

I do want to be happy. I just feel useless most days. I try not to complain but the grass isn't always greener and I feel in constant mud. It sounds pathetic but I feel like I'm in a rut. At the moment everything is fine with friends and work. It I don't feel important. I don't feel as if there is any worth to my day's. I get up, go to work, and then do nothing until I get home and sleep. I mean sure I go to netball, dance, yoga and I volunteer at a scout group but it doesn't feel like I'm doing any of it for myself and I'm slowly giving up on trying to please those around me.

But I guess I do it for the hope of my future, for the one, for the wedding, for the kids, for the house, for the lazy Sunday morning lie ins with the loved ones. It's all a fantasy.

Tonight at explorers we were doing first aid training and one scenario was that one of the boys had a cut on his wrist and he was bleeding out. Through those discussions I was thinking how I could slit my wrists and drown in the bath and no one would be able to put me in the recovery position. Another perfect idea but inconveniencing whomever finds me. It doesn't sicken me thinking of myself this way. Maybe it's how I'm meant to be.

My mum tells me I should think positive thoughts but it's like an urge to plan how I should die. Another disaster I saw was a crash this morning. I wish I was in the place of the other person.

Not paying attention to lectures is becoming a really bad habit. I still haven't started writing for my digital assignment which is due in 5 days! But I have decided I would like to end up working for the Naval group in Adelaide Australia! I finally have an aim!! It feels good and when I travel there next year I will get to see if it's what I desire!

Another person has just unfriended me on Snapchat? What the hell have I done wrong now? I'm getting sick of being made out to be the bad guy all of the time :/ And now Facebook!! All for shutting him down over complaining that people can't be themselves or get offended. I've had enough of this work force, it literally is a battle every week just to keep peace. I don't want to listen to your political opinion every 2 minutes I'm sorry but I'm here to work. The ignorance of some people.

Do you know what I'm going to work my arse off and start this assignment today and prepare the manufacturing question to prove to the haters that they only make me more powerful :) oh the contrast in these paragraphs is funny.

This afternoon I spoke to my mum on how all my emotional trauma started. She understands now and it feels like a relief to be honest. I've just been to netball and I feel like I've played really well!

I have decided on a main goal within my career! Naval group Adalaide Australia! (Not long term but a few years in Australia won't do me harm in my life time! Now I've explored the majority of Europe it's time to step in to the big leagues!) Naval group design submarines for the Australian Navy and with my career path I hope that I will have the opportunity to be able to try and apply for a job there some day in the next 15 years! Now I just need to maintain motivation.

What to do when motivation is running low in the future:

• Find the worth of what you are doing

• research and re-inspire!

• be powerful enough to overcome the ruts!

• believe in yourself - you are capable!

• remove any distractions

I just read a quote that said 'don't worry darling this is just a chapter, not your whole story' and I thought well it's a fucking long one! I'm sat drinking mocha staring outside of a uni window in a corridor I look so depressed it's funny! I just needed to get away from the noise and the stress. I only want to talk to one person but he doesn't know that and it's starting to stress me out but it's my own fault for falling for him when he told me not to. On the plus side I definitely want a nice view in my house when i move to Aussie! I mean looking outside to wet britain it's really nice but sunny aus will be tonnes better!

I'm stressed, my brain hurts and I'm tired. I really want this assignment gone. I'm physically in pain from yoga and I'm exhausted :( moan moan moan moan I'm even pissing myself off. I could do with a power nap or somewhere comfortable to sit. I also miss my earphones :(

Just met a lovely man and had a chinwag it was distracting but it's nice to get to know people without it being depressing all the time!

I was in a one night stand with a 28 year old in a 7 year relationship. Put myself on tinder.

I'm tired of people they never fail to disappoint me

Netball is good though! Proper enjoyed chatting with everyone! Good stress relief and even though I haven't done much it took my mind off the crap earlier.

It's been a while

It's working

I feel ok

I'm no longer a mess

I can stop these thoughts

I counter act them

Not everyone hates me