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elionwriter · 3 years

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Since I'm not sure I want to write new, full Fanfictions right now (I'm already working on a Good Omens one) I'm just gonna post some Star Wars/ Dinluke headcanons and prompts and ask you guys if you want me to flesh them out.

PART 1:

Their meeting and the events on board of Moff Gideon's light cruiser change things quite radically for both Din Djarin and Luke Skywalker. On Din's side, without the child actively in his care he is left without a proper goal and without a proper path. He can't go back being a simple bounty hunter, mostly because the ones he did it for are gone...

So what now? He always knew he would do anything to bring Grogu's mission to a proper end but he never actually thought of what would happen after. Nor did he immagine that it would leave him so shattered, broken and lonely.

Is it stubborn denial that his business with the child is over that makes him investigate further about the matter? A part of him wants to believe that yes, yes it is, but something about it just doesn't sit right with him. As Dr. Pershing is brought back as a prisoner to New Republic forces he is thoughtfully interrogated about his work and his part in the operations of the empirial cell. The man doesn't give his interrogators a hard time, answering everything as honestly as he can, but doesn't seem to know much afterall. Din can't help but feel somewhat sorry for him: he was taught cloning engineering by the last Kaminoans alive, apparently another species the Empire had decided were better off exterminated and forgotten after fulfilling their purpose. Except they hadn't, not completely, and now experts on the subject were even more rare than beskar. The Dr. was one of them and his knowledge and capacity was the only thing keeping him alive after the empirials sought him out. Whether or not he had any real sympathy for the imps was rather irrelevant and they were his one remaining shot at doing his actual job (there wasn't really a high demand for clones nowadays). He followed Moff Gideon's orders but he knew that the orders were actually coming from much higher up. Who was pulling the strings and what they ultimately wanted, he didn't know. They didn't trust him with those informations. All he knew was that they needed him to create a body with the kid's life expectancy and his M count. They had kidnapped and experimented on other force sensitive children but none of them seemed to have Grogu's qualities and were disposed of. When the guard told him to stand up to be brought back to his cell, the doctor looked at Din and asked "Is the child safe?" "Yes, he is." Answered the mandalorian and the other nodded exhausted "Good, that's good. Thank you." Din nodded back to him and watched him leave.

The only reason Din had been allowed to follow the interrogation was obviously Cara Dune, which had delivered Dr. Pershing and Gideon to the authorities. Cara was however busy talking with someone he didn't know, another woman, a very elegant and majestic one at that. He couldn't help but notice the friendly and intimate tone the conversation seemed to have. Cara later introduced her to him as senator Leia Organa -Solo, a legend of the Rebellion and the Princess of Aldeeran. Suddenly the two's steadyfast bond became very clear. Apparently, the Senator found the story about the two prisoners extremely distressing and had already "her best man" look into it. She spoke very kindly to Din and, as a true politician, thanked him for his services to the Republic. Din quickly changed subject and asked if Moff Gideon had revealed anything more useful than the doctor.

As expected, Gideon hadn't been as collaborative and hadn't spoken a word since he was brought in. Something in his demeanor, however, had definitely shifted and below the ever guarded and secure facade there was worry. 'That's the face of a man in deep shit! We aren't the ones he's scared of though, one can only guess what makes a guy like him fret like that...' said Cara without bothering to hide her worry.

That was the reason why Din, in the little breakes he stole from the collaboration he had fallen into with Bo-Katan and the other mandalorians, kept searching for answers. The something or someone that scared Gideon had to mean danger. And if there was danger out for Grogu it would ALWAYS be his business.

That's when he realized who the princess' "best man" was. Luke Skywalker had apparently been searching for answers too and it's during one of these occasions that they newly meet. They have a common goal and pupil to protect but very diverse skill sets and areas of expertise. That's why on the hush-hush they agree to meet occasionally when either of them seems to have some new information or lead. Neither of them properly introduces to the other, there's really no need for that, and their partnership remains for some time elusive at best. Din is a naturally secretive and private man, the Jedi on the other hand, seems to have become it, a necessity rather than an inclination. Luke doesn't ever bring Grogu along nor does he mention him, after assuring the other that the child is safe and well. Din doesn't ask. And yet, the most restless one of the two about it is the Jedi. Just like Luke can feel Din's ever present affection and sense of duty toward Grogu, Din can sense that the other is very uneasy on the matter, like two parts of him are constantly battling over something. Again, he doesn't ask.

Despite all this, however, their relationship is far from strained. There is a mutual and instinctive trust and respect between them and it becomes quickly very clear that they work well together. During the nights they have to camp or during the trip in hyperspace the two talk. They discuss about their dying creeds, their principals and beliefs, fighting techniques and recount some of their old adventures. After a while, they open up enough to discuss of their situation and daily challenges and earnestly seek the other's opinion and advice on how to face them.

Din learns that Luke is still a figure on which the New Republic sometimes relies upon, even if only for extremely delicate situations; that he spent the last few years travelling throughout the galaxy looking for lost Jedi artifacts and knowledge, hoping to learn how to best bring the order back to life for new generations of force users (expecially his young nefew); that during said travels he always made a point to help those in need and right wrongs where he saw them; that he still found himself dealing with loose ends of the Empire.

On the other hand, Luke learns of Bo-Katan's quest to reclaim Mandalore; of Din's search for knowledge and history on a culture that should be his own but that he progressively realizes he knows very little about; of his uncertainty on where he stands both with his creed and his peers and the aggravation of the dark saber which he is currently the wielder and protector of.

They feel for each other. No, they understand each other. Even as words completely fail to reveal the most critical parts of these conversations. What they do understand is this: nothing seems to make anymore any fuc****ng sense in their lives! That everything was much more simple when they were just a bounty hunter and a farm boy.

It's not that Din doesn't want to find other Mandalorians and help his people. He and Bo-katan may not always see eye to eye, but they both made extremely clear how loyal they are to their creed. It's just that Din doesn't know anymore if he still has a right to that title and to the armour he wears, if everything he was taught was a lie or not. He broke a lot of rules for the child and can't decide if that is for the best or not.

Luke, on the other hand, can't decide what to make of the Jedi teachings and contradictions he has collected. How can he act like expected and pass on lessons he himself isn't really sold on. It was his family and his ties that kept him alive and safe from the dark when facing the Emperor and his father, but it was also attachments and the Jedi's taboos that had damned his father to begin with. Should he encourage the complete detachment the old texts preached about, should he too talk only of light and cast a shadow on everything that didn't fall in that limited range of the force? But most importantly: should he keep his young apprentice from his beloved father and pointedly ignore the warm flame the mandalorian had effortlessly lit up in him?

Luke can't help but notice that when he slips and gets a bit too close, a bit too intimate and touchy with the other man, the mandalorian doesn't push him away and seems to answer this boldness with an awkward, shy breathlessness. While a part of him knows, Luke doesn't allow himself to hope or acknowledge that flicker in his chest might be mutual.

#dinluke #skydalorian #din djarin #the mandalorian #the child #grogu #din and luke #din and grogu #luke skywalker #star wars #drapple #my prompts #otp #leia organa #cara dune #moff gideon

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thepastneverforgets · 3 years

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BatFam One-Shot

characters: jason todd & damian wayne plot: damian is separated from the group during a weekend patrol and the nearest person, jason, is called upon to check on him. cue them begrudgingly bonding. note: this fic isn’t anti-bruce but it’s largely written from jason’s bias perspective so it’s not exactly bruce wayne friendly either. also, not all the familiar with damian in current canon, just fyi. cw: smoking

“I told you I knew where the best hole-in-the-wall vegan spot in Gotham was; you should trust me more often...” Jason remarked as he watched Damian practically scarf down his own tin-foil wrapped meal.

Damian immediately scoffed with food still in his mouth, and then made sure to swallow it all down--’manners, young man. mind them’ they both heard Alfred chastising tone in their head--before he went on to spit out, “trust you, Hood? I’d sooner trust the clown before I did that...”

And didn’t that just make Jason seethe, glaring at Damian’s little smirk and biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself in check. He didn’t want to bite back or smack the kid upside the head, but was strongly feeling the urge to do just that, which he counted back from ten to ignore. After all, he was the adult in this situation, trying to extend an olive branch and show Bruce that he could play nice, even with his legitimate Demon Spawn. It wouldn’t do him any good to sink down to the brat’s level. And frankly, he’s on the verge of just dropping off the rooftop and grappling away to leave Damian to make his way back to the manor on his own, when the younger boy’s next words gave him pause.

“I suppose it’s adequate enough, though. Certainly better than the things father tries to get me to eat.”

“Puh-lease, Bruce wouldn’t know good taste if it bit him in the ass. All that secondhand smoke while dining out in the 80′s and early 90′s probably ruined his taste buds.” Jason reasoned with a dry laugh.

“You smoke.” Damian went on to point out, jumping in to defend his father even if he was just criticizing him a second ago. Just as Jason bundled up his empty food wrapper and tucked it into his utility belt to throw away later, and so that he could instead pull out a cigarette from the next pocket over.

“Only after dinner...” He quipped--and also when he couldn’t get the particular iron taste of blood out of his mouth, but he left that part unsaid. His lips curled up in lopsided grin while he held the cigarette between them to light it up, with his favorite lighter, which was shaped to look like a tiny six-shooter . It was only after the first puff of smoke was expelled over the city streets that Jason sagged in relief, legs lazily swinging back and forth over the ledge of the building’s roof.

“Let me try.” Damian demanded out of nowhere and Jason immediately coughed on his next drag.

“The fuc-- What the hell do I look like to you, brat... your gateway into becoming a damn addict?”

Damian scowled and moved to snatch the cigarette, but was too slow. Jason’s broad and bulky frame leaned away from the pipsqueak as he pulled a proper drag this time. “Oh, whatever, Hood. I’ll have you know I’m built different from you. I wouldn’t get addicted...”

And didn’t that naïve and childish proclamation just make Jason laugh in delight, his half-smoked cigarette stubbed out against the roof and shoved in the same pocket he had put his trash in earlier.

“Yeah...? Why don’t you go tell that to B and Al the next time you all have a little family movie night; just bring it right up when he tries to get you to watch The Brave Little Toaster or some shit, see what his face says...”

With a scrunch of his nose and a huff, Damian replied, “he already made me watch that with him, I feel asleep on it, on him...”

“Ha, me too, kid, me fucking too...” And this time, Jason’s high and short laugh sounded clogged with too much emotion, nostalgia and resentment all cobbled together and caking his throat. “I get that it’s his favorite animated movie from way back when or whatever, but damn, he couldn’t pick something a little more exciting-- think he just wanted to watch something that he knew would put us to sleep....”

“Oh..” Damian mouthed, looking around for a place to put his trash before he simply followed Jason’s lead and continued on, “I-- I didn’t know that. Do... You don’t think he was insulted that I didn’t pay attention and drooled on him, do you...?”

For a moment, Jason paused at the honest note of doubt and concern in Damian’s face, the little wannabe Batman finally looking like the child he was. Which had him answering with kneejerk honesty, “No, no I don’t think he cared, even a little. The boss-man is just a quality time kind guy...

But, I bet you don’t even know what his favorite movies and books actually are, do you? Or what spot in that exclusive study of his that he likes best to read in...?”

Damian scowled, in thought, and then shook his head. As far as he knew, his father didn’t do much of any reading these days, unless it was blaring off the bright screen of the bat-computer.

Jason sucked on his teeth with a disappointed ‘tsk’ and shook his own head. “Then ask him, when you get back; see what he says... we can compare notes next time and see if he’s done any personal growth in the last decade or more...” he suggested before he finally stood on the very edge of the roof and stretched out his heavy limbs.

All the crime and corruption that filled the city streets was so far below him that it seemed a world away. And it was getting about that time for him to clock out of this little babysitting job and jump back into his swamp.

“Come with me...”

Once again, Damian’s unexpected words gave Jason pause and he glanced back at the kid with a raised brow. “Uh... thanks but no thanks. I got some business to attend to and time to kill, before Al makes that insomniac actually sleep and he becomes any sort of tolerable.”

“You know, you’re not better than him, Todd. He made yo--”

“Whatever you say, brat...” Jason cut off the ‘you should be grateful to him for the rest of your life’ bullshit Damian was likely going to feed him, even after all the trouble he went through to get the kid a decent meal, and pulled out his grapple gun. “Now you go and get home to daddy, yeah... I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around.” And with that, Jason jumped off the roof and worked to put a street of distance between them.

And although Damian wasn’t happy with not getting the last word in, his mind was quickly pulled to other matters as Batman came in through the coms a moment later, demanding to know where his youngest son was and why he hadn’t returned from patrol, yet.

“In route as we speak...” was all he said in response, his path taking him back to the manor and opposite Jason.

#joshingmyself!#mywriting!#jason todd #damian wayne #ficlet

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itsashyanshame · 4 years

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stop playing

Written for the Shyan Shipping Society’s daily prompt, which today was: write a thing based on one of your favorite author’s works.

This is a VERY short continuation to @bodhirookes amazing fic Captain Hook, which is so good, please read it immediately. (Also this won’t make sense if you haven’t)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When Andrew’s phone rings, it’s 10pm and Steven’s dozing in his arms, the television the only thing lighting the bedroom. He was teetering on the edge of sleep himself, though the sound of the phone jolts him to awareness instantly. Nobody calls him but his parents; in the age of smartphones, it’s text messages only unless an emergency.

He moves carefully, patting clumsily at the items on the bedside table without waking Steven. He finally feels the smooth, cool face of his phone and grabs it, swiping to answer the call without looking to see who it is.

“This better be important,” he grumbled into the phone.

“Seven,” Ryan’s voice through the phone was offensively cheerful. There was a relaxed, almost languid quality to his voice that Andrew had never heard before.

“Seven what?”

“I’m pretty sure Shane’s big dick snapped my spine in seven places,” Ryan explained, and Andrew wished fervently for a moment he’d never left New Jersey for a job at Buzzfeed, even though it’d brought him to the love of his life, currently snoring in his ear. “I’m looking forward to making it fourteen very soon.”

“I hate you,” Andrew said, “I hate you more than I hate brunch.”

“Wow,” Ryan said, unbothered, still sounding post-coital, “That’s a lot of hate.”

“I’m hanging up,” Andrew felt his eye begin to twitch the longer this conversation went on. He tightened his grip on Steven. “Please feel free to never discuss your sex life with me again.”

“Dude,” Ryan sounded so gleeful, the little shit, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that getting dicked down was this good? I could have been getting fuc-”

Andrew hung up the phone.

Looks like tomorrow he’d be ordering that “Congrats on the sex!” cake he and Steven had been planning, only instead of surprising them with it at home, the entire office was going to get a piece of cake.

#Shyan #Skeptic Believer #Bodhirookes

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urproblematicfav-arsonk · 4 years

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There's a lot of things about Borderlands 3 that makes it kinda a garbage game. And all of those things are valid and true but a aspect of bl3 that deeply bothers me isn't something I've really seen people talk about?? Maybe they have but I missed it but I want to say my interpretation. (Also like, spoiler warning throughout all of this post)

To start off with: hi, I'm a autistic afab nonbinary person and this is relevant for this little rant I'm bout to go on.

I want to begin by stating why I love this franchise so much.

Borderlands, whether you like it or not, is INCREDIBLY queer. And not in a coded kind of way, it's just flat out gay as fuck. And that means so fucking much to me. Borderlands 2 was one of the first times I ever felt fully represented in a game. Zer0 being this dumbass making Yugioh references and generally being a fun garbage boy and also being nonbinary meant a lot to me and I adore him to this day (nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns fuc off). And getting more and more into this series and finding out that basically every character was on some level queer was really cool to me. Maya being asexual and most of the characters being attracted to multiple genders so honestly and off handily was so refreshing and amazing to get to play through. The casual mentions of a woman's wife or some man's husband in the echo's you find or Moxxi talking about her ex girlfriends was one of the reasons I loved this so much.

Another thing I loved particularly about Borderlands 2 was how feminist it was. I can not tell you how quickly I lost my shit at Mr. Torgue talking about the friend zone being misogynistic(it is btw). And the repeated jokes about fully murdering men for being rude to women was some of the highlights of my first playthrough. Punching a guy till he explodes because he disrespected a sex worker?? Fucking immaculate.

SPEAKING OF SEX WORK.

Mad Moxxi is a icon. She is a mother of MULTIPLE children, a survivor of rape and assault and a fucking bad bitch who runs a now intergalactic titty bar. Getting to have not only a sex worker be respected in a narrative, Moxxi is fun and a genuinely complex character who isn't defined by her job or her appearance. She is emotional and strong and funny and flawed but amazing person.

And then there's the way the male characters a represented and treated. I'll be honest here, I haven't really played Borderlands 1, mostly because have been spoiled by auto pick up and also I just didn't feel like it. So my idea of most of the men are based entirely off of Bl2, the pre-sequel and Tales. Anyway, Mordecai in particular is a character I really liked upfront. I love how a lot of his motivation and character is driven by his love of animals and Bloodwing. He's kind and though troubled knows when to get his shit together and be there when he needs to be. His casual "are you okay?" After the latter falls in the Arid Nexus was such a nice moment and the way he genuinely tries to be there emotionally for all of the people around him who he cares for is so fucking rare to see in a male character. And his arc of giving up alcohol to focus on being a better bird dad and you getting to help Brick make Mordecai a special gift to celebrate his sobriety is so amazing and I'm so proud of him.

Mr. Torgue is my dad and I love him. As mentioned, he is normal and believes that the friend zone is absolute garbage talk is ICONIC™ and the best scene in that game fight me. Torgue is a crybaby. He is an emotional person who is not afraid to express his pain and hurt when people are mean to him. He respects women and loves unicorns. The fact that is physical appearance is a big muscle guy who screams but is the literal opposite of toxic masculinity will forever make him the best male character of all time and I love him and he is my dad.

Roland was a character that I was never in particularly attached to but I still respect him and did enjoy his presence. I really appreciated his leadership style being primarily based on empathy and logic as opposed to him being a big meanie man with a HUGE dick who yells at people. I always really resonated with the echo from Tannis talking about how she came to Sanctuary. Roland going out of his way to bring Tannis to safety while completely respecting her autism and struggle with socializing really made his death hit harder when Tannis was very obviously distraught by losing him. It really seems that Roland was the only one who didn't treat her differently. And as someone who's autistic, finding people who legit 100% understand and respect you and just let you live the way you want/need to is kinda hard and those are the qualities I'd personally want in a leader.

Angel is also a big spot of affection for me. Handsome Jack being a irrefutably horrible person who Angel flat out says gaslights people and killed her means a lot to me considering 99% of Bad Parent stories end with "I forgive u" getting to see an abusive victim take that narrative and say fuck you was powerful and meant a lot to me coming from my own abusive home life.

There's a lot of other things I love about Borderlands but if I keep going I won't stop lol so let's get into why Borderlands 3 makes me so uncomfortable.

One of the main things that bothered me was the sexism. Its nothing too horrifying but given how feminist bl2 was it was really shocking and a bit hurtful the number of times women are called bitches or made to seem crazy. If you recall I brought up how you punch a man to death for calling a woman a bitch? Yea no, in this game we mock women for having boundaries and opinions because lol she's just a CRAZY BITCH who just needs to stop acting so hysterical am I right guys?

Yea the whole mission with that stupid bear thing and his ex robot girlfriend made me insanely uncomfortable and upset. I kept waiting for the gotcha moment where it says actually this bear guy is a dick and he shouldn't use language like that but no we just,,,,,, are supposed to laugh along. I hate it.

Even though Borderlands 3 is still very much queer, this game introducing 2 new trans characters as well as a whole DLC about a gay marriage and one of the playable characters being a lesbian there was this some shit that bothered me.

The mission where you crash and ruin a lesbian wedding.

That mission made so upset and uncomfortable. I hated how traumatized and hurt Tumorhead was as I murdered her family and wife. I hated how unfulfilling the mission was where PLOT TWIST the lady was actually a spy or whatever. I hate how there's a mission about ruining some poor psycho ladies wedding. I would've much more preferred a mission where Idk Bloodshine asks you to help her kill a spy who's causing problems and then fucking go around Promethea collecting wedding decorations or something. OR MAYBE JUST NOT A MISSION WHERE YOU KILL LESBIANS FOR NO FUCKING REASON.

I'm mad, anyway.

I also hated how Tannis was treated in this game. Under absolutely no circumstance would Doctor Patricia Tannis ever willingly take up a position of leadership. She is a severely autistic woman who gets nose bleeds from talking to people she wouldn't just be like "I'm in charge now pls talk to me!!!" Fuck off. And the joke about her dating a minecart isn't funny. The whole thing with the chairs, though funny in its absurdities was still a very important and powerful moment of character exploration. Tannis is insane. She is traumatized and hurt and in a moment of severe torture, she humanized some inanimate objects to cope. Tannis crying over the echo over Phillip is a heartbreaking moment of true vulnerability. It is also funny, because that's how good dark comedy works. It can be both hysterical and emotionally ruining at the same time. So what exactly does Tannis divorcing a minecart mean? What is this saying about her character? Why is it funny? Because lol lol reference??? Again, fuck off.

I hate how the Calypso twins childhood is handled. Troy implies it was horribly abusive and traumatic. But when we met Typhon whatever, he acts like it wasn't that bad??? He acts like he just didn't buy his kids the latest iPhone and oh no whoopsie now they're evil, my bad guys. It feels super weird and I don't like it.

Speaking of abusive parents. THEY DID MY GIRL ANGEL DIRTY SO BAD. This was literally when I decided I hated this game. Angel being the one who killed her mother and not Jack was fucking horrible. Especially after the literal foreshadowing in borderlands 2 implying he did. The fact that Jack is treated like a fearful man making what he thought was the right decision was insulting. I get that MattPat manipulated the fandom into thing Jack is a uwu bean but fuck you, you're the writers and you should fucking know better. Handsome Jack saw his daughter had power and turned her into a living battery for him to use as he saw fit. He was not scared and he was NOT right. Fuck you and fuck you for framing child abuse as chill and ok if your spooked enough like that. And the mission directly contradicts the echo's in Get To Know Jack. If Angel killed her mom why does she ask Jack where her mommy is when he's putting her in her chambers?? Why is it in the echo Jack is aggressive and forcibly and hurtfully makes her go into her chambers but in the memory, he's quiet and passive about it?? That's literally just flat out bad writing. Also fuck you.

Anyway,

I think that's really all I wanted to say about this topic. Obviously, there are also things that suck about bl3 but I'll try to chill and not make this too long.

I mostly wanted to make this to see if people cared/are bothered by the same things I am. I've seen how some of the fandom treats the more emotional and gay aspects of this franchise(the people throwing a fit over Amara, the friend zone line, not respecting trans peoples pronouns, sexualizing and being gross about Moxxi)

Anyway that's it byeeeeeeeeeeeee

#rant time #i was also gonna post this on reddit but it turns out i don't know how to use that app lol #so i prob wont #but dont worry still got tumblr #anyway #borderlands #borderlands spoilers #borderlands 3 spoilers #borderlands 3 #borderlands 2

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mistressmanumit · 2 years

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NO SHIT THERE I WAS:

I had just fancied myself one of those most scalding flesh awakening showers with a 16x16 in rain head. I had stretched. Meditated. And I was going to make today my bitch. I had a tentative date with an Endodontist to perform a root canal and place a crown on a tooth I had previously fractured at the gumline as the after effect of a delightful day of sky swooping gone wrong. My partner at the time was half a world away in Bahrain. The same partner who had, when confronted with my options to either extend a lease 90 mins one way away from him or move back to the Midwest, jumped at the opportunity to rent a place together. He, now looking back, loved the hero role. He loved doing huge grandiose gestures, *cough Love Bombing cough* but if I stepped out of line or displeased him in any way, he had no qualms with reminding me what a trooper he was. How he took a lease out in his name so I could stay out of site and out of mind and focus on my recovery for a multitude of ailments. The most pressing at the time was a recurrence of a lump in my right breast. While half a world away in one of my favorite cities ever, Manama, he insisted on Facetiming me. He wanted to sext and given this deployment being super stressful for him, I tried to oblige. This time I initiated the call but he seemed caught off guard. He didn't finish. Which, for a self-admitted sex addict, was off-putting and worrisome to say the least. Was it me? Was I ugly? I'll admit I felt fly as fuc at the time. I had photoshopped quality dewy locks, sans Photoshop.. my makeup was on point, and I was even able to feel confident enough to wear these absolute age-inappropriate 'mom jeans' that my sister had talked me into sporting. With a Tswift level emboldened red lip and lashes on fleek, I was left perplexed but allowed him to excuse himself.

I left for the dental appointment.

Which for me, was absolutely nerve wrecking. Ever sustain facial trauma and wake up in an emergency dental situation where the sedative and numbing agents didn't take? I had. So this trip was about as fun for me as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

My intuition was gurgling. My stomach was in knots:

WHY DIDNT HE FINISH?!

I underwent the appointment. I was present enough to forego a sedative, because I had just moved to the area and didn't know a soul and needed to get home. After the crown was placed I went home and saw two missed calls on Instagram from a homie down range. We'd previously contracted together and I knew he was in my Narc's general area. I messaged him back and he was brief and succinct given the time difference and urgency of what he bore witness to.

My person who I had been guilting myself for being flawed to the point that I couldn't help him achieve an O face, well he was seen yucking it up in the elevator back from the in hotel 'spa' at the Wyndam Garden in Bahrain. Bragging about the Happy Ending he'd just gotten.

I thanked my friend for bringing this to my attention.

Humiliated, mortified, I did a quick search of his otherwise never seen Credit Card statement online. Sure as shit there it was. A spa charge for the equivalent of 90 bucks.

I called him sobbing.

I told him I knew what he did and he stared at me. DEADPANNED STRAIGHT IN THE FACE AND DENIED IT.

Then I countered with the accumulated facts. This wasn't just my imagination. HE DID THIS. And my former coworker had absolutely nothing to gain from telling me. I know he had been cheated on while underway before, so perhaps he was just trying to keep it real...nevertheless, when I came with irrefutable evidence-he started crying. He apologized.

I told him to enjoy his lovely deployment and make sure not to skimp on the Russian Rooftop Bar SeggsWorkers. Might as well go out with a bang and make it count, because I would not be in what was to be our home, when he got stateside.

I took my embarrassed self back to the bathtub, had a lovely big girl cry and then my phone started going off. My Whatsap and Wikr were dinging incessantly.

COVID? What the hell is Covid? Travel Ban?

OCONUS and CONUS wide? The hell!?

I immediately called dipshit back.

'Find a rotator. I don't care how, or who it takes to get you out (he was due back within the week anyways)

A sniffling and somber 'ok. I will try.' From the other side of the phone. (It was then that I truly missed the ability to slam shut a good flip-phone)

The aforementioned lover made the last rotator out, and denied his commands repeated request to extend. As soon as he was stateside he drove from DFW to Cannon AFB, and through the night to wind up on my doorstep come daybreak-on Okaloosa Island. Sobbing. Flushed red. Flowers in hand as I had already opened the stunning French Doors to the patio/pool.( I'd woefully welcomed the likelihood that this was the last time I would see him, or my dream home for a future I'd foolishly overinvested stock in) he was sitting at the pool. Mouthing 'I'm sorry'.. over and over while gasping for air.

Looking back I can see it was all theatrics.

I'd asked him at that moment in time if there had been any other times.

He stared me straight in the face, and said...'No. This was it. I'll never do it again. I was stressed out because of what you'd spent this month and I selfishly did it. I'm sorry. Please don't go.'

I let him stay.

I was under the impression that he was on post deployment leave.

I was gravely mistaken.

48hrs later or so, late...like...late late...I saw his phone light up. "LTcol M"

I stared at him. I couldn't break my stare. If this was what I thought it was...if the dots connecting were what I thought was about to be vocalized...my hands started shaking

The voice on the other end of the line, a commanding and fatherly-esque tone:

'WHERE ARE YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T TELL ME. JUST GET TO THE NEAREST BASE IMMEDIATELY.'

He acknowledged his request, hung up and stared at me. I handed him some food for the road and told him to get the fuq away from me.

The continued lies. The lies by omission..

The next few days and months turned into a hypervigilent attempt to save his career with every favor I had to call in.

He ended up using the same attorney/law firm that a mutual friend on trial around the same time for War Crimes and was very happy with.

For what we shelled out, elated should've been the starting point for our beaming review.

And it was.

Pelatore Law firm went above and beyond.

He should've gotten an Art 32. Possibly a bad conduct...

Instead he received an Art15, failed to promote to Major and had his wings temporarily pulled.

Just writing it down now, it gives me pause. I'm ashamed that I felt the need to advocate for him and clean up his mess. I blamed myself. He clearly wouldn't have gone AWOL if I hadn't told him I was leaving clearly. I was in over my head with the blame shifting..the gaslighting and triangulation between himself, me, and his command.

Clearly he lied.

Oh and duh; there were many other rub and tugs that came to light. I have nothing against the seggs workers that did the acts...it's the harm to my self-confidence and the wanton disregard of putting me at risk for a STD/STI after I'd beaten and overcome BRCA + Gynecological Cancer. Looking back at it, I'm disgusted with how I pandered to his ego.

And here we are, the night or two after our 2nd wedding anniversary...after being released on bail for Domestic Battery. ..where did he venture again? That's right.....another Massage Parlor.

At this point the anger of losing a fully future-faked marriage has fully subsided I'm wholeheartedly embarrassed for him.

So I sit here, nose deep in bubbles (Calgon take me away!!!) Trying to figure out how best to move forward.

Folks: If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck....it probably shits like a duck too!

Stay fervent in your own intuition and ALWAYS listen to your gut!!

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we-are-the-sickness · 6 years

Note

1-100, go go go

1. NameSavanna2. Age193. City that you live inYuma, Arizona atm4. What do most people not know about you?That I learned a bit of Hebrew as a child5. What do most people know you for?Idk tbh jokes ig6. HobbiesArt,, singing,, writing,, archery,,, etc etc7. What are your passions?So much hnstly. Cooking, agriculture, helping the helpless, art, the stars, music 100%8. What do you search for in a significant other?compassion, kindness, someone who wants to spend time w me, affection etc7. What are you most proud of?Im proud of my friends! does that count or8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?hec idk tbh9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?Rocks fkn collected hella rocks. also antlers n shit u know Midwesterners10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.Visit ScotlandGo to law schoolBe in a bandSell my art at some pointlearn how to sew n knit n all that shitTake Gemi, steve, and lukas and mayb steves brother if hes available on a road trip11. What was the last thing you learned?THAT I WAS MISHEARING S LYRIC IN TWO MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT FOR YEARS12. How many relationships have you been in?Like 4 i think 3 or 413. Turn onsIdk certain ppls voices are mega turn ons, genuine kindness, JESUS IDK I CANT THINK14. Turn offssmellin bad, bein a dic, know it all 15. Favorite foodMexican food!!! asian food!!!16. Favorite drinkraspberry tea or Hurricanes17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?My guitar tbh altho i still cant rly play its a big part of my heart18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?Logical.19. Do you sleep during class?nah20. What is the most expensive thing you own?probably my guitar and amp lmao21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?hmm idk22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?too fuckin many23. Text or call?depends on where i am lmao24. Opinion on long distance?In it rn pal25. What is your definition of success?Consistent happiness 26. Favorite song?Rn bc of Gemi ive been falling asleep to Panteras cover of planet caravan so i think thats my favorite as of this second27. Favorite artist?too gotdam many28. Celebrity crush/crushes?have u seen this bloge29. When was the last time you read for fun?early last month 😪30. Favorite flower?Sun flowers, Lilies, Irises31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?reassurance, flowers, a hug idk affection32. Any guilty pleasures?Fuckin...buying quality cheeses ,,33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?My whole damn self THROW THE WHOLE DAMN HUMAN AWAY34. What do you search for in a friend?funny, kind, smart35. How many times have you said “I love you” in the past month?fuc idk36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?McDonald's for some Nugs boyeo37. Why do bad things happen to good people?The universe can b a cruel bitch bro idk38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?well ive been left out of plenty things and yeah they hurt but a piece of metal in me eye would be rather unpleasant 39. How many green shirts do you own?2 i think40. Do you like anime?Bleach and deathnote were all i ever watched41. What do you invest the most time in?keeping my parents alive 42. What was the name of the last book you read?"Up from the cradle of Jazz (New Orleans music since WW2)"43. What’s the difference between loving and liking someone?thats like asking me the difference between olives and like idk a burritoi like olives but i love burritos ya know44. Where are you most productive?usually anywhere as long as im by myself 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.EatingPlaying board gamesDoin shit outside46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.everything everpretty much47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?Probably not48. Do you have any allergies?yea49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?today lmao50. What was the last promise you made?jeeze idk51. What was your last dream about?i was dreaming abt telling my dad how to wash clothes52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?SAMM GEMI STEVE NICK N LUKAS53. How many countries have you visited?never rly been outside of the country ive been next to the Canadian border and im currently living abt 20 minutes from Mexico 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)music first n foremost but painting comes in second56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?idk i cant remember ig56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?hair lmao57. Do you consider yourself mature?I think so yeah 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?too damn many59. What is your favorite quote?some stupid ass corey quote that ivw been saying for years 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?RespectAlways Understand different point of viewsLove unconditionally 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?Idk still to this day i think my greatest accomplishment has been being able to teach adults n children archery on the weekends and at certain festivals. I miss that62. Do you believe in the death penalty?Im on the fence about all that63. What are your goals for life?Stability 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?HOPEFULLY SLEEPING65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.i used to have visions of a place with meadows and a large creek running through it with moutains in the bg, lots of space for fruit trees n bees66. What were you like in 2013?suicidal and just an absolute wreck of a child hnstly 67. Do you have a job?My job is taking care of my mother atm68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.akfhakfh His name was Ezra and my dad built his families vacation home across the street from ours so we were pretty close. I think my favorite memory was when his dad Brooke brought us out on their pontoon boat to fish. Had a lot of fun w that kid, i miss him.69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?THE LACK OF COMPASSION PPL HAVE70. How many all-nighters have you pulled beforeTOO MANY71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?idk if i have a favorite website tbh?72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?almost anything 73. Does money equal happiness?unfortunately in my situation yeah74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?6 times 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?776. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?ya had to be there kinda jokes77. When was the last time you looked at the news?this afternoon 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?pewp79. What is your favorite animal?wolves80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?oh fuck yeah dude 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?🤔 jesus idk82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?late and not enough 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?god no84. What is your favorite clothing store?idk tbh85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?beanies86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?wings87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?yes 88. What do you fear the most?apparently since im a pisces technically, its loneliness 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?none lmfao90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?200591. Describe yourself in one word.Brave92. Describe your last victory.Jeeze idk im half asleep now 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?Last time i was in Phoenix i saw a rly old meth head on a scooter w a meth prostitute humping him from behind whilst smoking a cig94. What is something you will never forget?Seeing Aerosmith 💕💕95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?thats hard for me bc since i have rly bad dissociation i try to reply my life in my head at night so that i actually don't forget things but also i rly want to forget so its a double edged sword96. Have you ever broken a bone before?not yet! give it another year97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?love98. Coffee or tea?both!99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?Let myself be creative unapologeticly100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?probably an hr and a half in total PROBABLY 2 NOW BC OF THIS ASKTHNK U❤️

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krakenator · 5 years

Text

CHAPTER 8 aka “Here comes the sun”

SPOILERS are sprinkled around extremely liberally for The Property of Hate

Masterpost here

“Day 4 everybody! The sun is shining, the tree’s a sun, and it’s time to start a new-

*gasp* the tree’s a sun

THE TREE’S A SUN

*wicked witch voice* ITS MEEEEELTING

oh very funny tellyman

and i SWEAR TO GOD if this is some kind of sick FORESHADOWING where Hero and RGB get separated and don’t appear on the same pages as each other-

oh hey i didn’t notice the Deer on this panel; RGB’s hanging onto its ear

So if the tree was sick and it’s also the heart of the sun... could we say the tree had heart disease?

ok and it also turns out that the whole deer thing is because ‘hart’ is another term for them so could we ALSO say that the tree is a heart of harts?

Izzit me or does Assok’s speech here have greeny-yellow mixed in there? …TOby???

The entire look of the tree and RGB doing a slip’n’slide on it implies a very... meaty texture to me so uh congrats mod thanks i hate it

OH FUC I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS REMINDS OF

MOTHERFUCKING MEAT CIRCUS AAAAAAAAA-

This entire page is huge fucking mood. That’s me @the world in my head every time I’m about to do something Stupid n’ Sketchy™

its also the first time we see the frankly DELIGHTFUL dynamic of RGB being like “oh god oh fuck why” and Hero going “YEEEEEEEAAA”. Hero loves rollercoasters and RGB won’t be dragged on one for anything less than certain death otherwise.

LOOKIT that big grin. she seems to smile WAY more in the latter half of the current comic and honestly. Yes. we need more of that

Oh deer. What a staggering outcome. Guess we’re getting right to the hart of the matter huh.

So RGB asks how Hero knew it was sick, and the answer was it had no leaves- the tree’s by the Pool of Tears in chapter 2 during the daytime didn’t have leaves either, but began to grow more near the end of it- are those tree’s sickened as well? OH- this could explain why the Fears were able to wander around in such a forested area

Have to wonder… tree’s are powerful. What could stop one from dreaming like that?

OH. OF COURSE. RGB’s already given us the answer- Nothing. The gooey stuff that was coating the tree, the [-----], is just another form of Nothing! Even more damningly, biting through the strand so the sun could balloon away renders Hero’s tongue temporarily numb.

“You didn’t swallow any did you”- oh motherfucker that’s foreshadowing to when Hero really does accidentally swallow Nothing in the Elastic Valley storm, which erodes her voice from black text to white

So the next question is why did the [-----] melt so SUDDENLY? Black was left behind from Hero’s Fun Impalement Adventure, which smacks far more of Fear stuff than dream/nightmare residue, both of which are colorful, yet Dreams have the healing properties and Hero dreaming in the tree may have even helped the thawing

going on the assumption black = Fear shenanigans, have we found something stronger than Nothing? is this- oh come on. is this a rock-paper-scissors scenario?

Nothing beats Trees, Trees beat Fears, Fears beat Nothing?

on that note I should point out that Hero’s night of rest and dreaming has indeed closed back up her schism

absolutely everybody: how the FUCK did that DUMBASS-

and like they all know it’s THAT dumbass. they all look at the BULLSHIT happening in the sky and say “i don’t know how but i KNOW RGB is in the thick of that nonsense”

RGB rekted counter = 4

and promptly rekted yet again (5)

Ok, we confirm that [-----] is an insulator- a weaker form of Nothing, then. Not enough to destroy the sun-tree, but definitely enough to encase, sicken, and weaken it.

K but [------] as censorship, anyone?

!! Assok’s voice is numb too. How did I miss this bit of the story, did I just skim over it last time? Assok’s voice is the way it is because it’s numb, it could only have gotten numb by chomping on [-----], Assok came out of a crack in the [-----] to investigate Hero’s crying... my god

im such a dummy i finally get it. Assok’s been chipping away at the [-----] trying to keep the sun alive

kids are honestly such little shits; mod really nails this aspect of Hero directly on the head

truly they are made for each other- one shit kid and one bastard man.

OH OKAY I thought Assok threw themselves at RGB’s face in retaliation for yelling at Hero for essentially tazing him but that’s not it- its STATIC CLING

And tally that 6 for the RGB ‘slapstick-comedy Bad Man gets thrown around’ counter

ITS JULIENNE! Aint NOBODY got ANYTHING on her KNIFE FEET

fuckin. the sound effects. step+stab = stap. amazing

bruh i love her speech. i look at it and i taste cherry chocolate. even the shards around the boxes and that haphazardly make speech tails looks like chocolate shavings

Julienne and Melody’s designs are both INCREDIBLE tbh. julienne and click are probably my favorites out of the entire cast. you look at them and you INSTANTLY what they are about

and yet there are surprises

...... shitpost idea

and the candyfloss poke at my head, no fun! i said Julienne- mmgh!- stop it now

RGB looks like he has wings this entire page and I think that’s beautiful. the entire ‘fight scene’ between him and Julienne is utterly fantastic

Hero just calmly going fishing. Serenely stares down the knife Julienne tries to stab through her upon Jules realizes RGB’s gone and kidnapped ANOTHER WHOLE KID but relenting the INSTANT Hero says hello, pats, and flatters her

this chapter is really delivering on the “RGB gets slammed around” aspect of my TPoH enjoyment. I didn’t think we’d hit double digits this quick but that makes 10

Melody, bass-boosted: MY WIFE

as a musician i adore Melody with my entire being and i would die for her. every time i read her FORTE i’m assaulted with the auditory memory of myself and the rest of the trumpet section seeing a “triple forte” note written in our music sheets and as one blasting it in exactly the way the composer surely intended: discordant chaos

aaaaa her foghorn blast includes sheet music in the background!! i wonder from what piece

her speechbubbles be yellow, with short, stout tails and a circular box

is there anything better than seeing just the barest hint of Hero at the top of one panel before she slams into RGB in the next?

Assok’s QUADRUPLE FORTE on the other hand sounds like 50 CHILDREN SCREAMING THEIR OWN COMMENTS AT ONCE FOR A SOLID THIRTY SECONDS

it’s all stuff we’ve heard before looks like: “snice”, “koh ping”, “eediotic”, “damninably frah ghile”, “j ustryin toolwek affrew”, “justav to trusttmi”

dsvjkfkfhh- special fuckin shoutout to “AI DOOHAIT TOOHAFF TORAIMSMA VOYCE” for being the ONE thing in all caps aka the time RGB, uh, raised his voice

join me next time for some QUALITY DUNKING ON RGB. just absolutely roasting him

#tpoh #the property of hate #tpoh time with Gill

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embracetheapocalypsewithme · 8 years

Text

Embracing the Apocalypose, Part 22: Are You a Killer?

Hello Readers! I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve slowed my writing roll a bit lately. Work has been crazy, and had been sucking my will to live (well, write anyway), but hopefully this will tied you over. I think we’re getting close to a conclusion, but there’s still definitely some story to tell...

Summary: Rebecca and Negan discuss what to do about Julie and her flying monkeys. Are they strong enough not to kill?

Word Count: 3,110

Content Warnings (or selling points?): Smut, Negan, Negan being Negan, language, violence, and drugs.

Part 1: The Tale of Thelma Facefuck

Part 2: What’s Up, Doc?

Part 3: A Successful Job Interview Begins with a Firm Handshake and Ends with a Salty Surprise

Part 4: A Crack in Everything

Part 5: Sorting Duty Sucks

Part 6: A Faint Whiff of Bullshit in the Air

Part 7: Turn and Face the Strange

Part 8: Poor Life Choices

Part 9: In Which Negan is a Total Jerk

Part 10: No Plan

Part 11: Negan Settles Rebecca’s Hash

Part 12: I know Where That Hand Has Been, Negan

Part 13: Gimme Danger

Part 14: The Loneliest Hours of the Morning

Part 15: Well, Fuck You Too, Kitty!

Part 16: That Escalated Quickly

Part 17: Well Fuck Me Gently with a Chainsaw

Part 18: Shards of Glass

Part 19: Donkey Heaven

Part 20: Morphine Dream

Part 21: Promises to Keep

Part 22: Are You a Killer?

Part 23: That the Hill You Wanna Die On?

Read on AO3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8807527/chapters/22786547

Part 22: Are You a Killer?

Negan allowed Rebecca’s question to hang unanswered. He blinked slowly at her as he reclined in the tub before averting his eyes, “Let’s finish getting you cleaned up and out of the bath…”

“You didn’t answer my question,” she persisted, gently.

“I know. Just…let’s talk about this when you’re not fucking naked and wet, ok?”

“Ok. Fine.”

Getting up from his place on the floor, Negan moved toward a cabinet that stood in the corner of the room and grabbed a bottle from one of the shelves, “Get your hair wet again, and let’s get you cleaned up.”

Rebecca dunked her head under the tepid water and emerged to find Negan squirting shampoo into one of his large hands before lathering it against the other and placing them both on top of her head. His fingers dug into her hair firmly all the way to her scalp and the air filled with the scent of flowers as imagined by a cosmetics company’s chemist.

“Mmm. That feels really nice,” she mumbled, her shoulders relaxing a bit as he massaged her head.

“Like I said before, I’m really fucking great at massages. I’m a lot of things, but I ain’t a liar.”

Even with her eyes closed Rebecca could tell he was smirking as his bulky frame loomed over her from his place beside the bathtub.

“What kinds of things are you then?” she inquired, her voice taking on a dreamy quality.

“You know…I’ve never been asked that before,” he sighed, “I used to be a liar. I lied to Lucille a lot. But that’s done now. Now I don’t bullshit with anyone unless it’s about to cost me my life or something.”

“Mmm-hmm. What else?”

“I’m a leader,” he paused in thought, “I’m a planner. I’m a caretaker…I don’t know if anyone else thinks that, but I am. I like caring for people.”

“Evidently,” she said before dunking her head under the water again to rinse the shampoo out of her hair. As she emerged, she opened her eyes and locked them with his, “Are you a killer?”

Negan seemed taken aback by her question. Turning from Rebecca, he searched for a towel to warp her in, and murmured, “You already know the answer to that.”

“But I want to hear you say it.”

“Ok. Yes, I’ve killed people. I didn’t like it. I didn’t take any joy in it, but it had to be done. I’m a killer, but I’m not a murdering bastard.”

Rebecca stood up, grimacing as her ribs cried out in protest at the sudden change in position. Water streamed in small rivers down her body while Negan wound the towel around her shoulders before helping her to safely step out of the tub.

“I’ve never killed anyone before,” she admitted to him, “I’ve never had to. We stayed out of sight so no one ever had the chance to fuck with us out there.”

“Good. Fighting’s overrated anyway,” he allowed her to dry off before grabbing the robe he had found for her and helping her to put it on. They exited the bathroom, and Rebecca settled back into the bed, propping her head up against the pillows. Negan walked around the bed and hopped up, causing Rebecca’s side to raise and dip slightly with his weight.

“Sometimes you have to fight though. For things you believe in, and for people you care about. Right?” her eyes were fixed to the middle distance, and her voice came out small and unnaturally timid.

“Fuckface,” he began, “To answer your first question: We��re not going to do a fucking thing about Julie or the other people who did this to you.”

Her head snapped around, “If you think that you’re killing them alone-“

“I’m not killing anyone either, Rebecca.”

“So they’re just going to get off with this?”

“I didn’t say that. I said I’m not killing them. There are other ways to get some fucking justice, you know.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Community service?” she asked with a mocking laugh.

“No. Not community service,” his tone became heavy and his voice deepend, “As much as I hate to admit it when I’m wrong, because I’m usually pretty fucking right, I had it all ass backwards the first time I ran this place, and I think that’s why people hate me so fucking much right now. I made them afraid, and that fear kind of snowballed into anger. And now this,” he gestured toward her, trying to emphasize her injuries.

“Makes sense,” Rebecca said weakly.

“But they should’ve taken it out on me, not you. It should be me all beat to hell for what I did. The fucking cowards need to pay for what they did to you, but killing or maiming them isn’t the answer. I see that now. Someone showed me that there can be other ways to deal with shitheads…He let me live when I probably deserved to die. And I was King Shithead back then.”

“You’re talking about Alexandria?”

He nodded, “Yep. I thought for sure I was a fucking dead man when they took me down. But they let me live. It’s funny how I used to draw the line on what was ‘civilized’ or ‘uncivilized’ around things like rape, but thought nothing about fucking killing people. I guess we all have our blind spots.”

“Seems like a pretty big spot,” Rebecca commented, and then followed this up with a question: “So, what are you suggesting we do?”

“I say we round Julie up and get her to tell us who she got to beat you down. Then we lock them all up.”

“For how long? I mean, we can’t lock them away forever. And what happens when they get out? What if they decide to try again, only this time they make sure whoever they attack dies?”

“Oh we won’t be locking them up here,” Negan replied, giving her a sly look, “There are other places with jails. Alexandria, for instance, has a lovely facility. Fucking fabulously run, might I add.”

“So we cart their asses to Alexandria, and get their leader-“

“Rick is his name,” Negan interrupted.

“We get Rick to watch them for however long we say, and then they stay there after they’re let out. So, basically, we exile them?”

“Exactly. Rick and I aren’t what you’d call friends, but I think I could work my charms on him and get him to help us out. If that doesn’t work I’ll just get you to make Bambi eyes at him and he’ll do anything we ask.”

“Might want to wait until my face heals up first. That’s my meal ticket,” she laughed.

“Awe, Fuckface. You’re always adorable as fuck to me. The bruising really brings out the color of your eyes,” he said, moving away slightly to avoid being swatted at by Rebecca.

“Asshole!” she inhaled sharply as her ribs stung, “Fucking Christ I can’t wait for that to stop hurting.”

“I bet. Think it’s time for some more of Rebecca’s happy drugs?” he asked, swinging his legs over the bed again. He began rummaging through the upper drawer of the bedside table, in search of the morphine that Krouse had given them. After finding it, he twisted off the bottle’s cap and fished out a single pill before handing it to Rebecca followed by a half-full glass of water that had been sitting on the table.

Dropping the pill on her tongue, she chased it with a mouthful of water and swallowed. After placing the water on the table nearest to her she turned to Negan, “There’s one thing I don’t totally get though: Why did Julie ask them to attack me? There are so many people here who hate you, but I thought that she was more annoyed with you. She’s definitely not afraid of you.”

Negan averted his eyes again, suddenly becoming very interested in his own hands, “Yeah, I don’t think that this was so much fear-motivated on her part.”

“So, if not fear then what?”

“Before I tell you why, can you just promise not to be too upset?”

Rebecca’s eyes narrowed, “What did you do?”

“Well, when we got back from the scavenger run, I was really fucked up about fighting with you, and I wanted to get my mind off of it,” he began, “So I asked Julie to come hang out one day.”

“And by ‘hang out’, you mean ‘fuck’, right?” her voice and face were expressionless.

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I mean,” he said before quickly adding, “But I didn’t do it! I couldn’t. Little Negan just would not comply. So she got pissed off and started screaming and took off. I guess she was embarrassed enough that she wanted to take it out on someone.”

“On me.”

“Yeah. Fuck, I’m sorry, Rebecca. I fucked up again.”

“So, let me get it straight: You were mad at me so you tried to fuck Julie, but you couldn’t get it up?”

“Uh. I guess that’s the simplified version, yeah,” his eyes never left his hands.

A loud cackle left Rebecca’s lips as she threw her head back before doubling over in pain, “Oh fuck! You cannot tell me shit like that right now. It’s too funny and my ribs fucking hurt!”

“You’re not upset about me trying to fuck Julie?” he asked, perplexed.

Rebecca took a shaky breath to stop herself from laughing again, “Fuck no! I mean, we were fighting, and we weren’t exactly together at the time. Hell, you’re free to stick your dick in the crazy anytime if you want…if you can,” she added, giggling.

“You seriously don’t care?”

“No. But thank you for sharing with the group about your erectile dysfunction, Negan. Now the healing can begin,” she said gravely, placing a hand on his arm, “This is a safe place.”

“Oh fuck. Are you still a little fucking high?”

“Maaaaaybe,” she said, sliding down into the bed so that her head was no longer propped up by the pillow, “I might even still be high enough to fuck you, if you’re into fucking injured ladies.”

Negan loomed over her from above, before lowering his face to hers and kissing her gently, “As much as I would love to take advantage of you right now, my moral code compels me to let you get some more rest, Fuckface.”

“Awe. Damnit. But I consent!” she cried dejectedly.

“You are way too fucking high to consent, baby. Plus, I feel like I’d probably hurt you. Maybe we can try in a few days after you’ve had a chance to heal a bit.”

“If you can get it up!” she cried, another burst of laughter shaking her body.

“Ha! That’s all you fucking get. One ‘ha’, lady. I’m sure I’ll be able to fuck you back into that infirmary when the time comes.”

“You’d better, or I’ll have to go Julie on someone because of the sexual frustration. And then that’ll be on your head,” her voice slowed down and her eyes dipped closed while a dopey smile played on her lips.

“Get some sleep, Fuckface. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

***

Negan sat beside Rebecca in the bed for a long time, even after her breathing had slowed and he was sure that she was asleep. Although he was outwardly calm, his thoughts raced as his eyes took in the extent of her injuries. She would be fine after she healed, but would he?

He had convinced Rebecca that they should spare Julie and the others for what they had done, and had told her that he would find another way to punish them, yet something still nagged at him. His time in Alexandria’s prison had changed him because he had been ready to change, and was man enough to admit when he had fucked up.

But Julie and her cohorts weren’t him, and he wasn’t convinced that they were quite as open to a journey of introspection and self-improvement as he had been. He thought that their time locked up might only serve to harden them and cause their resentment to deepen. And what would happen when they got out? How could anyone stop them from leaving Alexandria and returning to the Sanctuary secretly to enact their revenge?

Pushing himself out of bed, he wondered if he was strong enough to resist killing them out of fear. It was time to find out.

The door to his room creaked softly as he pulled it open and stuck his upper body into the corridor, waving to get the attention of one of the men standing guard at near the far end. The man’s eyes widened slightly as he pointed at his chest and mouthed: “Me?”

“Yes, fucking you,” Negan hissed, stepping fully out of the room and gently gliding the door shut so as not to wake Rebecca. The man walked toward him, looking nervous. Ah he drew near, Negan placed a hand on his shoulder, peering down at him with his eyes still stern and dark, “I need you to get Chris. You know him?”

“Mechanic Chris or Garden Chris?” the man asked hesitantly.

“Neither one, dumbass! Why the fuck would I need Mechanic Chris up here? Do I look like I have a fucking car in there?” he said, gesturing toward his door.

“Um. No, sir. I guess not,” the man said, glancing down at his boots.

“Awe, shit. I’m sorry…what was your name again?”

“Stephen,” the man replied, his eyes rising slightly.

“I’m sorry, Stephen. It’s been a stressful fucking 24 hours, what with the lady getting beaten up and all. That was un-fucking-called for, and I was being unclear,” he placed a hand on the man’s other shoulder, “What I meant to say was that I need you to please go find Scavenger Chris. Dark hair? Resting Bitch Face? That Chris. Do you know who I mean now?”

“Y-yes, Negan,” the man replied.

“Fan-fucking-tastic. Thank you, Stephen.”

As the man scampered away to do his bidding, Negan re-entered the room to wait for Chris’ arrival. He lay back down in the bed, this time allowing himself to fully rest. It was only a few minutes before his eyes fluttered closed and he was snoring beside Rebecca, curled up onto his side with his cheek pressed against the pillow’s cool cotton.

***

The loud wrap of hard knuckles against the door catapulted Negan from his nap, dehydrated and disoriented. There were no windows in the room, so it was hard to tell immediately how long he had been out. Rebecca groaned and shifted beside him, her brows knitting together over the bridge of her nose.

“Whozzit?” she asked, still barely conscious.

“Chris,” he replied simply, his voice still horse with sleep, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just be out in the hall if you need me. Get some more rest.”

Getting to his feet, he stumbled slightly as he made his way to answer the door. Pulling it open just enough to slip out into the hall, his large frame forced the smaller man to take several steps back.

“How is she?” Chris asked, nodding in the direction of the door.

“She’s ok. Pretty drugged up right now for the pain. But I think she’ll make it. She’d fucking better anyway.”

“I’d like to come see her, when she’s well enough to have visitors,” he paused before adding, “If that’s ok with you.”

“Yeah,” Negan replied, a bit taken aback by the man’s final comment, “Why the fuck wouldn’t it be?”

“I know you used to be pretty protective of your wives in the old days. Didn’t like them hanging around other men, right?”

“Rebecca’s not a fucking wife though. She’s…” he trailed off, unable to articulate exactly what she was to him at the moment, “She’s someone that I care about, I suppose. She doesn’t have to be a wife for me to care about her.”

“And you don’t have to care about them for them to be wives. I know,” Chris said with the faintest of smiles.

“Well, fuck. You’ve got me there. Probably true.”

“Anyway. What can I do for you? Is there something she needs that I can find for you?”

“Yes and no,” Negan began. Thinking better of their proximity to the door, he led Chris further away to ensure that Rebecca wouldn’t hear them if she work up, “I need you to track down some people for me and lock them up for now. I need to have some words with them before I decide what to do about this whole fucking fucked up situation.”

“You’re talking about the people who did this to Rebecca?”

Negan nodded without saying a word.

“Are you going to kill them?” Chris asked.

“I haven’t decided that yet. That will all depend on what kind of information I can get out of them first,” he thought for a moment, “But you need to promise that, if I do wind up killing them, Rebecca will never know about it. Got that?”

“I understand what you’re telling me, but I don’t understand why. Won’t she want to know that they’re taken care of? To make her feel safer here?”

“She thinks that it’s what she wants. But once it was done and the dust had settled, she would know forever that people were dead because of her. I don’t want her to have to live with that knowledge. They say knowledge is power. But some knowledge just fucking sucks…Speaking from experience.”

“Ok. Fair enough. Who are we rounding up for questioning?” Chris asked, no reaction to Negan’s speech showing on his face.

“We’ll start with Julie from the commissary. Redhead. You know her?”

“Oh yes. Everyone knows Julie around here,” the scavenger replied, innocently.

“I bet you fucking do. Well, get her, and get Ted from the sorting room. I don’t know for sure that he had anything to do with it, but he does have an axe to grind with both of us, so it can’t hurt to ask him some questions. Lock them in the basement and make sure someone is guarding them at all times. Once that’s done, come get me and we’ll take it from there.”

“Right. Will do,” Chris replied, turning to leave.

“Oh! And, Chris?” Negan added. The man turned around and awaited this final thought, “If this goes well, there could be some good things coming your way.”

Nodding humourlessly, Chris continued on his way to fulfill his quest, “Eh. Stoic fucker,” Negan mumbled under his breath as he returned to Rebecca’s side.

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