#with dips and trenches

[your-jellyfish-senpai]

This is just a personal post for posterity because it has been a fucking time this year, the last two months in particular.

The tl;dr current situation is: Ryan and I both have a crush on the same person and are considering a very specific kind of polyamory

The long story is so much more complicated than that because my own feelings were on a several-month delay so I instead started off with a major breakdown after learning that Ryan had a crush on a mutual friend because of my own insecurities (ample, plentiful, all-consuming) and fears (being abandoned, being replaced, not being good enough, etc.)

Avoiding the specifics because it's truly way too much to get into and frankly, much of what I initially felt, I've dealt with or completely done a 180 at this point lol.

But yeah. Even like, two weeks ago, the concept of polyamory for myself and our relationship freaked me the fuck out. But now it's an open conversation and who fucking knows what's gonna happen.

Anyway. I still have a lot of work to do because my body image is truly horrendous and I've only recently realized that not everyone has the depth and intensity of self-hatred for their physical appearance that I do. And Ryan has been telling me that they think I am "much more attractive" than I think I am. To which I can't help but respond "sounds fake but okay" or "wild if true."

This has been such a fucking insane period of my life and I haven't really talked about it with anyone except Ryan (and Kaden, ty Kaden) so if you're an IRL friend reading this... sorry lol it's been Complicated and Uncomfortable and Scary As Hell.

But no matter what happens here on out, I do at least feel pretty secure in our relationship and feel like we've once again leveled up our communication.

[iampeachlesssssss]

yall remember when this was considered joint content. this is why i don’t crash out when dnp don’t post for 3 weeks. this was our standard for YEARS

[helpimsleepdeprived]

invisible string theory 2009-2024

[fmab]

Putting on the wetsuit + basking in some mud in a repurposed planter (eel LOVEE mud)

[niamhthefae]

no but as an artist i have to say "don't cry, craft" is actually amazing advice??

like: take your negative emotions and funnel them into your craft, when you feel like things are going terribly creating can make you feel better, sometimes all you need to help yourself is to pick up a paintbrush or a pencil or some wool (or any other utensil) and just start crafting, the feeling of achievement that comes from making something or starting to get good at a new craft can do wonders for your mental health.

i know we joke about it a lot, but since i started crafting rather than crying, i've felt a lot better.

[lpn3rd]

them <3

[proudsnackeezowner]

Dip doodle noodle

[mybraindumpsterfire]

Dear Dan and Phil,

Please sell the photocards as a set, I’m begging on my knees. I need every single one and don’t want to have to go back to my bartering kpop days, thank you so much!

Sincerely,

A tired phannie

[swiftlydnp]

this is making me soo emotional it keeps hitting me dan and phil are really BACK BACK huh

[iampeachless]

Calling all former (and current) phannies of tumblr.... 😬

I'm making a deep dive powerpoint about Dan and Phil and I need your help deciding what to include as significant events in the phandom since the beginning.

I'm talking deep lore, most popular videos, and vocabulary that people who have never heard of these gays would need to know

message me or pop it into my ask box, I may not respond quickly but your contributions are greatly appreciated !!

[lingeringscars]

gonna kinda tentatively put out there that mari may be one of those idk if i can interact with other portrayals chars. i am really glad people are starting to love her and write her!! i love duplicates in general! but mari is v particular to me and i feel like in all total honesty she's a char that i would be more likely to have a she wouldn't do that reaction to / feel like i would be thinking about mari over anyone else. and i don't want to do that to anyone!! because interpretations are valid and you should portray a char the way you see fit! but with mari i'm more tightly locked than others, i think.

[fmab]

[sunshades]

Apolocheese to roland nation I mightve forgotten to work on the rol.gelica I had planned because i thought thered be more time before his birthday.... ok then everybody look forward to it dropping on HER birthday in 7 months-

[seth-shitposts]

As I sit here studying the galaxy map of star wars, seeing which planets are on what hyperspace lanes and where different planets are in relation to each other

I realized that I'm probably not leaving this special interest for a very long time. I'm so invested. And there's enough different pieces of media that I could just run loops in this, and the lore is vast characters endless, and many stories still untold. And then adding in the headcanons and bits I know are probably never going to be touched on in canon again, so I can do whatever I want with it.

I'm not leaving g star wars for A LONG time.

[fina1chase]

I went to the 7/11 real quick for breakfast and i was reading that shit from my prev rb while waiting in line and I s2g the sm from michael kors stood in line behind me but i didnt look up and then she walked out without saying anything to me

[flowersforbucky]

my love, mine all mine

bucky loves you a lot every day - but maybe just a little extra today. your first mother's day.

word count: 1.9k

tags/warnings: smut, 18+ only, oral, bucky's pov, wife reader and girl dad bucky, heavy fluff and wife worship, reader is afab, no use of y/n, thunderbolts era but no spoilers (i know the picture in the header is tfatws but it's hard to find pics of him smiling ok)

follow @flowersforbuckyfics for updates ♡ dividers by @/strangergraphics ♡ header collage made by me

Bucky opens his eyes as the first light of dawn begins to filter through the cracks of embroidered lace curtains.

His body and mind are still acclimated to the earliest days of parenthood – when the nights feel long yet morning comes all too soon. Though the newborn trenches had come to a bittersweet end, Bucky's sixth sense for miraculously waking up shortly before his daughter every morning still lingers.

Judging by the slow rise and fall of your chest, you’re still dreaming from where you lay beside him. Your hand rests against your pillow, the ring that he’d slid onto your finger when he’d got down on one knee sparkling in the early morning light.

This is a view that he’ll never tire of waking up to.

He sometimes still can’t believe it – that you, this family you’ve created together, this life is really his. Every now and then, he’ll randomly wake during the night in a panic that he’s somehow dreamed it all. But then he feels you begin to stir beside him, and it quickly brings him back to reality. Just one glance at the sleeping infant on the video monitor’s screen and he can close his eyes knowing that this isn’t just something his subconscious conjured up as a twisted joke.

It might feel too good to be true at times, but it’s not. It’s real, and that’s all thanks to you.

He skims the tips of his fingers up the expanse of your bare arm. Peach fuzz and goosebumps rise and you make a noise akin to a sigh at the feather light touch. Your eyes flutter open, a sleep-dazed grin appearing on your face when you register that he’s already looking at you.

“Really? Waking me up early? On Mother’s Day?”

“Sorry, doll,” he purrs, his Brooklyn drawl making an appearance in his voice, still raspy with sleep. “Didn’t mean to. I just can’t help myself.”

You half yawn, half laugh as he brings his face to yours. His lips capture yours in a messy kiss that starts innocently enough. Then you part your lips as you pull him closer to you by the back of his head. He slips his tongue past your lips, lazily exploring the inside of your mouth as if it’s brand new territory for him.

He twitches inside his boxers – he’d blame it on the morning wood that had yet to fully dissipate, but he knows damn well that this is all you. Your scent, your touch, your taste. He continues to move his lips against yours as he pulls the comforter back enough to maneuver himself over you. You’re wearing a thin cotton tank top and a pair of panties that he’s particularly fond of – but right now, he’d prefer both articles of clothing to be on the floor.

Reaching between your bodies, his flesh hand finds the hem of your top. He pulls the fabric upwards, above your breasts. Your nipples are already pebbled as he breaks the kiss and lowers his face to your chest. His lips lock around the peak and you arch your back into his touch, a melodic whine escaping your lips.

Only after paying careful attention to each breast does he begin to leave a trail of wet kisses down your sternum, over your belly button, and to the hem of your panties. He dips his fingers into the waistline of the fabric, ready to tug them down your thighs when your hand grabs his. He pauses, looking up at you with raised brows.

“Winnie will be awake any minute now,” you breathe. He chuckles, shaking his hand free of your loose grip to resume pulling your panties off of your hips.

“Guess I’ll just have to be quick, then,” he smirks up at you from his position between your thighs. “Come on, honey. It’s Mother’s Day, yeah?”

Any further objection from you dies on your tongue before your underwear can hit the bedroom floor.

Normally, he’d take his time with you – make you squirm and plead just a little. But you do have a point. Winnie usually wakes up earlier than the sun, so it's only a matter of time before you’re interrupted by the sound of cries coming from the nursery at the end of the hallway.

But that’s okay. He doesn’t need long. He’s spent enough time studying your body to know exactly how to get you where you need to be.

Settling himself between your legs, he licks a thick strip up your center. One of your hands dashes to the top of his head, where you thread your fingers through his hair to help guide his ministrations. Your other hand instinctively covers your mouth, in an effort to muffle your moans.

He circles your clit with his tongue while he teases your hole with the tip of a long, vibranium finger. You whimper as he nudges the icy digit past your entrance, eagerly sinking yourself onto the length of it. Your walls constrict around the metal, and while he selfishly wishes it was a different part of him buried in your tight heat, he knows that this – this whole day – is all about you. Loving you, worshiping you, making you feel as loved and appreciated as you make him feel every day.

You writhe against the mattress, grinding yourself against his mouth. His lips lock around your swollen clit, sucking until you’re on the verge of climax. He adds a second metal finger, sending you crashing over the edge.

Sitting up on his knees, he uses his t-shirt to wipe his mouth before looking down at you with a satisfactory grin. Your chest is still heaving and there’s a thin sheen of sweat on your skin.

He thinks you’re glowing.

“See? Told you I’d be quick,” he teases as he looms over you, leaning down to give you another quick peck on the lips. “And baby girl is still fast asleep.”

As if on cue, a soft cry begins to sound from the room next door. You laugh, looking at him as if to say what is it you were saying?

“Don't get up. I'll get her,” Bucky stops you when you start to swing your legs over the side of the mattress. He quickly puts on the pair of sweatpants that he had discarded before falling asleep last night. “Tea or coffee this morning?”

“Hmm,” you contemplate as you lay back down against your pillow and readjust your tank top. “Coffee. Thank you, baby.”

After making a quick pit stop in the bathroom to wash his hands, Bucky hurries to get a crying Winnie from her crib. She’d recently started standing up on her own, so Bucky isn’t surprised that she’s already standing up and holding onto the railing of her crib when he opens the door. As soon as she sees him, the crying stops and she breaks into a huge grin that showcases her brand new bottom teeth.

“Good morning, Winnie girl,” Bucky coos as he lifts her into his arms. “It’s Mother’s Day. Are you ready to go give Mama her presents?”

Winnie’s response, of course, is a bunch of incoherent babbling, but Bucky likes to think that she understands.

He makes quick work of changing her, making you a cup of coffee just the way you like it, and grabbing the gift bag that he’d hid behind a bunch of extra cleaning supplies in a storage closet a few days prior. In one arm, he juggles a wiggly baby and your present, and in the other, a hot cup of coffee.

Back in your and Bucky’s bedroom, you’ve changed into a casual lounge wear set. Your face instantly lights up as soon as Bucky enters the room with Winnie in his arms. She reaches for you right away, almost throwing herself out of Bucky’s arms.

He can’t help but take a moment to admire the scene in front of him. You attack Winnie with kisses and she bursts into a fit of giggles. He places your mug on your bedside table and then sits down on the edge of the bed, smiling to himself as he watches his two favorite girls.

Everyone tells Bucky that Winnie looks just like him, but he thinks that she’s the spitting image of you. Especially the smile – he adores that she has your smile.

“What is this?” you croon at Winnie when you notice the bag in Bucky’s lap. You place her bedside you on the bed as he hands you the present. “Did you get something for me?”

“She can’t take all the credit,” Bucky teases. “But she certainly helped.”

You pull the tissue paper out of the bag, handing it to Winnie so that she can entertain herself by crumpling it up in her fists. First, you pull out the gift that Bucky is most proud of.

It’s a glass frame containing various polaroid pictures of the three of you, as well as small flowers that Bucky had dried from a bouquet that he’d given you just a few months ago. On top of the glass are two small, pink footprints. Bucky had bought acrylic paint just so he could paint Winnie’s feet and print them on the glass.

You stare at the gift, taking it in as you chew on your bottom lip. Your silence makes him a little nervous. He’s not normally one for handmade gifts, but he wanted your first Mother’s Day gift to be sentimental.

“Oh, Bucky,” you whisper after a moment. Your fingers trail over the glass, settling on a picture of you, him, and Winnie sitting in front of your Christmas tree several months prior. “It’s so beautiful. How did you come up with something like this?”

“Yelena told me that I should check Pinterest for ideas,” he admits, suddenly feeling bashful. “And she may or may not have helped me and Winnie do the footprints without making a complete mess.”

You throw your head back in a genuine cackle. You place the frame on your bedside table, exactly where he expected you to put it. “Oh, so that’s why you wanted to take Winnie to the team meeting last week.”

“To be fair, I didn’t lie. Everyone did really want to see her.”

You reach back into the bag, pulling out your next present. He didn’t bother wrapping it, knowing that you would have the wrapping paper in shreds within seconds. It’s a simple, pale yellow box. You open it up, a look of awe immediately coming over your face.

“Do you like it?” Bucky asks softly, though your teary-eyed expression answers his question without you having to say a word. You nod rapidly, removing a delicate gold chain from the box. In its center, is a W shaped charm. On either side of the letter are stones – Winnie’s birthstones.

“Help me put it on?” You request, turning around so that he can latch the necklace for you.

It looks as perfect on you as he imagined it would.

“Thank you, baby,” you murmur, pulling him to you by the collar of his t-shirt to bring his lips to yours. “So much. They’re both just beautiful.”

He cups your face in the palm of his hand, massaging your cheek with his thumb. He’s silent for a moment, reveling in how thankful he is for you and the fact that he now gets to celebrate you on this day.

“Happy Mother’s Day, honey.”

thank you so much for reading 💖 reblogs and comments are always very appreciated!!