#with the goal of actually getting my license next spring/summer

[fidgetspringer]

Very cool! What kind of bike did you get?

Thank you! This made me realise I don't think I've ever specified exactly what it is for some reason.

It's a customised 1979 Kawasaki Z400!

Originally customised in Germany around 2014 and then imported to Norway in 2021.

I'm putting the work in right now to get it looking a little nicer, since it's a bit scraggly as is, but I think it'll be a really cool little bike in the end!

[capriciouscaprine]

good morning!!!!! I had good number news this morning!!! lotsssss of numbers below, just fyi

I haven't really talked about my goals or current numbers on here, in part bc I was worried that if that was one of the first things I posted, whatever flagging bot gets used on here (I know, it's mostly crusaders who go thru the tags and mass repo blogs that gets us distapeared) would see those things and I'd be on their no-fly list immediately

plus, there's something to be said for the fear of saying something out loud, when I've not been the sort of person to stick to hobbies and things before

BUT

last week, I hit a goal of $125.4 (iirc), which means I hit a simultaneous goal of a 'healthy' -$5/month for 15 months straight, for a total of -$75.00 from my starting balance of $200.00

which, I honestly was having trouble being excited about hitting that goal bc of our common habit of rounding up, so any decimals next to that number it feel like I hadn't actually hit it, and I had worked REALLY HARD to get there, including a multi-mile treadmill walk and everything

BUT

my check in day is monday (start the week off informed!); on tuesday the monthly obnoxiousness started, and most of us who experience that will skip check in days that are close to it bc it messes with our bodies so much, so our measurements will be inaccurate

then, last week was spring break for my internship, but it's only two days a week, so I spent two days last week almost entirely sitting at my computer, working on my course work

meanwhile, in the same week, I clocked THEE MOST hours at my almost entirely outdoor, moderately physical job in about six months aka since about mid-fall, as late fall thru early spring is our slow season and things are now picking back up; I spent the week planting seedlings, repairing fences, running around after babies, and doing deeper cleaning now that things are warmer and deep bedding isn't so much of a priority

which, I spent last summer consistently dropping without thinking too much about it, tbh, and I'm pretty sure now that it's bc of this job (there was other stuff like switching from regular ice cream to halo top, etc, but on the whole I wasn't doing things like counting and I hadn't even made this blog yet)

and for meals this week, I seemed to average just about 1k; some days were higher and others were lower, some days I felt like an unwilling black hole and others I was just... fine after eating a small lunch/dinner (I keep weird hours, it was the final meal of the day for me, idk); plus, no semi-fraught Easter lunch with my family

SO

that brings us to today's check in

$123.2

officially, for realsies, under that $125.00 goal, and also the amount I claimed on my drivers license bc I thought it was funny and it was only a little lower than my actual amount BEFORE UNIVERSITY, AND very genuinely really close to a secret goal I've had since I heard it as a song lyric in 11th grade: $120.00

I know, it's such a silly thing to base a goal off of, and really highlights just how pervasive unrealistic body standards are, that some man stated it as the measure of a fictional grown woman he was writing about who you KNOW he envisioned as being 'curvy' and taller than a literal child

but I'm still gonna hit it

and yep, I'm once of those people who have reduced their goals over time; you think a number sounds really low, and then you find out how much people who look the way you want to measure in at, and realize that if that's where you wanna be, this number isn't going to have you looking like that unless it's mostly muscle, and I'm for sure not mostly muscle

anyways, introspection on societal pressures out of the way, this morning's breakfast was a 1/3 of a cup of egg substitute (50), two low f 'canadian bacon' slices (20 each for 40 together), a slice of lite toast (45) with lite country crock spread (about 1/2 a tblsp, so half of 35), and my coffee (25), so that's a relatively high f and protein breakfast for just under 200 (and of course we round up to the bigger whole number!)

I was hoping to feel satiated from that, but it's not quite hitting like yesterday's grilled cheese did; ah, well, just one more data point to take note of!

now, fingers crossed I can finish this presentation before work this morning!!!

[allsassnoclass]

would pretty please do 72 or 98 from the 100 ways to say I love you prompt list? maybe with the mashton college au? or just mashton in general! (I love your mashton so much) - lily 💛

lily you have been the #1 cheerleader of this series from the beginning you can have as much college mashton as you want

Word count: 4059

Rating: T for teen

Read on ao3 here

mashton: "I'll meet you halfway"

Michael and Ashton call each other every night.

It’s the type of thing Michael has seen his parents do when his dad used to have to travel for work conferences. Sometimes the calls are long, extensive conversations, and sometimes they only last a few minutes, a simple “hello, I love you, I want to hear your voice before I fall asleep.” It’s the type of domestic, mushy stuff that you do with someone you’re spending the rest of your life with. Michael loves it.

He would love it even more if he could actually see Ashton in person.

Ashton stayed over once in June, but since then their schedules haven’t aligned properly. Ashton works weekdays 9-5, and Michael typically works nights and weekends. With Anne Marie taking on longer shifts, leaving Ashton in charge of keeping house more often, there hasn’t been a lot of time to try and plan a day trip.

When classes start next week, it’s just going to get worse. Michael has been holed up in his apartment with very little contact with the outside world for three months. He goes to work. He comes home. Sometimes he orders take-out and gets to nod at the person handing it to him. He’s sick of his college town, and somehow he doesn’t think that having everyone else on campus is going to help. COVID policy is very similar to how it was in the spring, and Michael hated the spring.

“This fucking sucks,” he says. “It’s my senior year and all I want to do is leave.”

“So why don’t you?” Ashton asks, tinny and pixelated on Michael’s phone. “You have tomorrow and Sunday off, right?”

“Yeah.” He asked for it off at the beginning of the summer, in case he needed time to mentally prepare for the school year.

“Let’s go somewhere. Pick a city between us and I’ll meet you halfway. I’ve been saving a fuckton on rent, you’ve been saving all summer, we can get a hotel and make a time of it.”

“Really?” Michael asks.

“Yeah. Why not?”

Michael pauses. He’s never been the type of person to plan spontaneous outings, but he doesn’t really have an argument against this one. He wants to see Ashton. He wants to get out of the apartment. A two-day date in a different city sounds like the perfect solution.

“Come on,” Ashton says. “Pick the city. I’ll plan everything else.”

“Okay.”

Ashton grins. Michael automatically mirrors it. Later that night Michael gets out his computer to find the best location between them. There’s a decently large city that’s an obvious choice, and Michael doesn’t have the focus to do any more research on whether this one or one of the smaller ones has better attractions. He figures the larger it is, the more he’ll give Ashton to work with as he plans, so that’s the name he texts. Ashton texts him at midnight with an address and instructions to meet him there at 10:00. Michael mourns the loss of one of his last opportunities to sleep in, but he’d wake up before dawn to see Ashton if he had to.

-/-

Ashton is waiting outside the coffee shop when Michael pulls up. He’s leaning against the side of the building, head tilted up towards the sun and eyes closed, and Michael’s heart clenches violently in his chest. He’s beautiful. Michael has missed him so much over the past few months that he’s torn between wanting to drink in the sight of him and needing to touch him right now.

Ashton opens his eyes as Michael approaches, like he can somehow distinguish his footsteps from those of everyone else passing by. Michael knows that it’s impossible, but part of him wants to believe that he and Ashton have that sort of connection.

Ashton smiles, letting it bloom across his face like a flower in spring. Michael can barely stop himself from running the last few steps to hug him. They end up crashing together in the middle of the sidewalk either way, arms immediately clutching tightly. Michael has the single-minded goal to squeeze all of the oxygen out of Ashton’s lungs.

“Hi,” Ashton says in Michael’s ear, arms wrapped around his shoulders, pressing them together the entire length of their bodies. “Hi, I love you. Holy shit, I’ve missed you so much.”

He tries to pull away and Michael tightens his grip.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks. “I’ve been hug-deprived for months.”

Ashton snorts and resettles.

“I really fucking love you,” he sighs.

Michael smiles into his neck and soaks in the feeling.

An undetermined time later (that is probably longer than socially acceptable), Michael finally leans back enough to plant one firm kiss on Ashton’s lips, then breaks the hug fully. Ashton’s grin is wide and dopey, and he knows that his is the same and they probably look insane to everyone else, but Michael doesn’t care. Long distance sucks. Being here with Ashton is the best he’s felt in a long time.

“Hi,” Ashton repeats.

“Hi,” Michael replies. “You look like shit.”

Ashton beams, because Michael confessed to him a while ago that he only says that when he’s too overwhelmed to think of a worthy compliment, because Ashton’s ability to always look flawless is infuriating. Sometimes Michael regrets telling him, because it’s embarrassing and Ashton doesn’t need an ego, but then Ashton reacts like this and it makes Michael want to shout endless compliments from the rooftops to get a hint of that smile.

Ashton ducks forward and kisses him again. Michael has to restrain himself from getting lost in it, because they’re in public. They’re sharing a hotel room tonight, so Michael can refill on kisses then.

“Come on,” Ashton says. “Let’s go inside. I want an iced coffee.” He pulls a mask out of his pocket and Michael follows suit, then they head into the little cafe.

The intoxicating smell of coffee is potent enough to seep through Michael’s mask. The shop itself is small and cozy, with a black and white tiled floor and dark wooden tables with little kitschy coffee decorations scattered around. There are three big plush armchairs by a fireplace that could be decorative or could actually be functional, and a few children’s books are scattered on the side tables near them. Ashton tugs him towards the counter before he can look around more, greeting the barista with a friendly hello and his order. Michael adds his and a pastry, then they make quiet comments about the flavor shots available and various menu items until their orders are ready.

“So,” Ashton says when they’ve sat down and spent a bit too long smiling at each other rather than talking.

“So,” Michael repeats, taking a sip of his coffee. Ashton holds his hand out on the table, palm up, and Michael takes it so Ashton can fiddle with the promise ring on his finger. “What’s the plan for the day?”

“Well, we can’t check in to the hotel until 4, so I figured after this we could wander around downtown a bit, grab some lunch, then go to the zoo.”

“The zoo?” Michael asks. “What are we, five?”

“I’ll hold your hand the whole time and buy you Dippin’ Dots,” Ashton bribes in a singsong voice. Michael is such a sucker for him.

“That’s a very tempting offer,” Michael says, resting his chin in his palm. Ashton smiles, because he knows that Michael is a sucker for him, especially when they’re holding hands and he has Dippin’ Dots.

Ashton brings his hand to his lips and kisses it. Michael feels like he’s going to melt into a puddle of goo right there in the coffee shop. It’s like a few weeks away have reset them to an insufferable honeymoon phase rather than letting them operate like normal people out in society.

They manage to finish their coffees without making everyone around them nauseated, then walk around wasting time until they find an acceptable lunch place. Ashton points out weird-looking stores and boutiques as they go, and sometimes they enter and look around but mostly they window shop. Michael feels something inside him resettle a little every time Ashton laughs or hits his arm to point something out.

Lunch passes in much the same way as coffee did. They talk about whatever strikes their fancy and eat food that’s good but not great and hold hands across the table. Michael covers lunch because Ashton covered coffee and promised to buy him Dippin’ Dots, so it should all even out.

They can’t leave a car in the coffee shop lot for hours on end, so they have to drive separately to the zoo. It’s tragic, because one of Michael’s favorite things to do is to drive with Ashton, whether he’s in the driver’s seat or the passenger, but he follows behind him instead, always keeping his license plate in sight. They don’t get parking spaces by each other, since it’s one of the last summer weekends and the place is crowded with minivans carrying families for one last big outing before school starts, but Ashton waits for him by the main gate and obediently takes his hand the moment they enter.

“Do you want a map?” Ashton asks, side-stepping a toddler that’s paused in the middle of the walkway to stare at some of the strangers passing by.

“Nah,” Michael says. “Let’s just wander. We have a few hours.”

Ashton smiles and tugs him along the path, picking a direction and setting off until they get to the first exhibit. They stand in line an acceptable amount for some moose, then zip through the rest of the North American section relatively quickly. Ashton names every animal they pass, on occasion reading a line here or there from the signs describing them without slowing down for the whole thing. Michael judges his naming abilities and chimes in with a few of his own ideas, then they continue on and let younger kids have their turn by the fences or glass cases.

"I think we should get one of those once we move in together," Michael says, gesturing at the lion sunning herself on top of a rock outcropping.

"You want a cat?" Ashton asks. "I thought we were leaning towards a dog. I've been trying to warm up to the idea of a dog."

"I don’t want a cat, I want Sheila," Michael says. "Look at her. So majestic. So cuddly."

The lion now known as Sheila flicks her tail, but otherwise doesn't move.

"Sure, I'll kidnap her once we have a place. She'll be very happy with us."

Michael squeezes his hand, and they move past the rest of the big cats and into the aquatic building, where Ashton takes a picture of the penguins and sends it to Luke with the caption "nice to see u and ur fam out and about!!!" Michael finds the seahorses and stares at them for a bit, Ashton reading the information cards out loud when he starts to get antsy. They both decide that there are too many fish to name each one, so each tank instead gets a name and subsequent fish get numbers. When they can't waste any more time there, they head back out into the August heat, wandering further into the zoo.

Ashton gets Michael his promised Dippin' Dots between the African and Australian sections. They take a short break to sit for a few moments at one of the few clean tables, watching geese harass families in the hopes of earning a few crumbs and kids bouncing around waiting for their parents to finish.

"Food tax," Ashton says, opening his mouth. Michael rolls his eyes and takes a small spoonful of chocolate-flavored ice cream, feeding it to him across the table.

"Thanks," he says. "Instagram tax."

Michael holds up the Dippin' Dots and beams for the camera, sure that Ashton already has some good and awful secret shots he took that will end up in the photo dump whenever he decides to post.

"Come on," Michael says. "Let's go see some kangaroos."

By the time they finish their rounds of the zoo, it's well past time for them to check in at the hotel. Ashton still insists on stopping at the gift shop to look at the stuffed animals. Michael waits by the door and isn't paying attention enough to stop Ashton from bringing a lion up to the register.

"A tiny Shelia to hold you over until we can get the real thing," he says, presenting the stuffed animal to Michael with a flourish.

"Holy shit, I love you," Michael says, cuddling mini-Sheila close. "You're the best boyfriend ever." Ashton simply grins and kisses him on the cheek.

"So," he says once they're past the zoo gates, hand linked with Michael's once again and walking him to his car. "Do you want to go to the hotel or straight to dinner?"

"The hotel first," Michael says.

Ashton nods and kisses him again with a quick "see you soon."

The ride to the hotel feels like it takes simultaneously five seconds and five years. Michael is getting antsy at the idea of them getting a room to themselves for a while. He's gone multiple hours without sticking his tongue down Ashton's throat, which is a huge show of restraint when they've been apart this long, but he's so ready to do that now. He can't wait to finally fall asleep next to him again or watch shitty network TV while cuddling after dinner.

The hotel itself is a little fancier than Michael expected, if the state of the lobby is anything to go by. He goes up to the counter with Ashton while he checks in, listening when Ashton asks about good restaurants nearby and taking a key when offered. When they finally get to their room, Michael is vibrating out of his skin, but he manages to restrain himself until Ashton has set down his bag and gotten a chance to look around the room.

"Think this'll be fine for the night?" he asks, sitting on the bed to test the mattress.

"I want to kiss you so bad," Michael replies.

"Then what the fuck are you doing over there?" Michael rolls his eyes, drops his bag and mini-Sheila, plops himself right in Ashton's lap, and kisses him. Ashton immediately opens up under him, hands sliding up Michael's back, and something inside Michael slides back into place. He buries his hands in Ashton's hair and tilts them to a better angle, relishing in the familiarity of Ashton's mouth, unable to contain a sound when Ashton tries to pull him a little bit closer.

Ashton breaks the kiss long before Michael is ready.

"We need to go to dinner," Ashton says. "I wanted to woo you. Wine and dine, except maybe without the wine because one of us has to drive."

"Come on, Ash, just a bit more." He leans in again, but Ashton stops him with a finger against his lips.

"If we keep going, we're not going to stop, and I'm hungry. Dinner first, then we'll have the whole night to ourselves."

"Fine," Michael sighs. "But only because I expect to make use of the night."

"I'm counting on it," Ashton says.

“And I’m driving.”

“Okay.”

Michael gets up, checking for his keys and wallet, but doesn’t get the door open before Ashton is turning him around and pushing him gently against it, kissing him again.

“You hypocrite,” Michael says.

“Come on, Michael, just a bit more,” he teases. Michael rolls his eyes even as he’s pulling him closer.

-/-

Dinner passes by in a flash. They tell the waitress it's Ashton's birthday so they can get a free dessert, and Michael ensures that she gives the check straight to him so Ashton doesn't try to fully pay for yet another thing on this trip. The food is pretty good and the atmosphere is nice, and Michael spends most of the meal laughing and trying to remember his table manners.

Ashton sings along to the radio on the way back to the hotel, and Michael considers taking a lap around the block to hear his singing voice a bit more. In the end, he turns into the parking lot so he can watch him rather than just hear him, waiting until the chorus finishes and Ashton manages to do a really nice vocal run before shutting the car off.

"What?" Ashton asks when he catches Michael's eye.

"Nothing," Michael says. "I just love you."

"Sap," Ashton says, poking the corner of Michael's smile.

When they get back to their room, Ashton starfishes on the bed, letting out a deep breath. Michael flops down on his stomach, head pillowed on Ashton's arm, fitting the rest of himself where there's room.

"Hey," Ashton says, tilting his head to look at Michael. "You tired?"

"Nah, not yet," Michael says. "I'm a night owl."

"Yeah, and I made you get up at a reasonable time to drive here for coffee."

Michael props himself up on his elbows, looking down at Ashton. His hair is a little bit longer than Michael remembers it being at the end of the school year, honey strands fanned out against the white hotel comforter. Michael hates that he wasn't around to witness the change in real time, slow enough that he wouldn't have been able to notice, but he's glad they get some time together now.

"I'm not tired," he says, basking in the way Ashton's smile unfurls at that. "I could stay up all night. I'm not going to waste our time together with a nap."

Ashton reaches up and brushes some of Michael's hair back, fingers curling around his ear and brushing over his neck. Michael shivers.

"I've missed you," Ashton says softly. Michael moves so he's bracketing him with his arms and leans down to kiss him. It's just as familiar and intoxicating as last time.

"I've missed you, too," he hums when they part. "Thank you for planning this."

"Thanks for agreeing to it," Ashton says, slipping a hand under the hem of Michael's shirt, hot on his lower back. "I was going crazy without seeing you. I don't know if you know this, but I'm kind of in love with you."

"Really?" Michael asks. "Never would've guessed."

Ashton sticks his tongue out, so Michael kisses him again, and again, and again, and doesn't stop for a long time.

-/-

Michael wakes up to Ashton shifting in his arms. He's going slow, obviously trying not to wake Michael while he untangles himself, and Michael presses a kiss to his shoulder before he can get too far away.

"Just going to the bathroom," Ashton whispers. Michael hums and releases him.

He slept better last night than he has since school let out. They spent the evening either kissing or watching HGTV and talking about the features they want in their dream house when Michael makes it big as a producer and Ashton is a best-selling author. By the time they finally fell asleep it was into the early morning, Ashton's eyelids drooping, both of them pressed together skin to skin under the covers.

Ashton returns, pressing a kiss to Michael's cheekbone as he gets resettled.

"What time is it?" Michael asks blearily. He cracks his eyes open, happy to see Ashton in all his early morning glory, edges softened by the shadows from the curtains.

"Almost ten," Ashton says. "I got us a late check out, so we're okay for a few more hours."

"Smart."

"That's me," Ashton says. "Graduated Summa Cum Laude and everything."

Michael pushes him halfheartedly. It doesn't do anything except make Ashton roll further into his space. Michael doesn't mind, hooking a leg around his hip to keep him there.

"Oh, good morning," Ashton says. "Nice to see you, too."

"Shut up," Michael groans.

"Make me."

Michael can't back down from a challenge, and he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve when it comes to his boyfriend. He gets Ashton to shut up quickly, and Michael has the best morning since school let out.

-/-

Michael and Ashton elongate their day as much as possible, but there's only so much to do after they have to check out. They take a walk around the local park and find an art gallery to wander around in. Neither of them are particularly versed in visual art, but Michael likes pretending that they both know more than they do, commenting on lighting and colors and lines in a way that would probably annoy everyone around them if the exhibit was in any way crowded. Ashton finds a painting that he says should be the focal point of their future parlor in their mansion. Michael thinks it's super ugly, but he takes a picture of the name card anyway.

They probably won't have enough money for an art piece like that for a while given student loans and such, but maybe they will at some point, and maybe the artist will have something that they both like that could go in a modest living room in an apartment.

They eat dinner late and stay there chatting long after they've finished, ankles hooked under the table. Michael orders dessert just so they have an excuse to continue filling seats. Ashton gets chocolate sauce on his face and Michael tells him about it instead of wiping it off for him. When they finally split the check, Michael feels like he's splitting himself in half. Maybe things would be better that way. If he were in two halves, he could go back to school and go with Ashton at the same time.

"College sucks," Michael says once they get outside, lingering by their cars. "I don't want to go back."

"Run away with me," Ashton says. "You can be a starving artist and I'll be your boyfriend who sometimes puts food on the table."

"I wish," Michael says, rocking forward on his feet. "I think my parents would kill me. Besides, I have a project with the recording studio that I should probably see through. The band's not bad. It could actually turn into something."

"I hope it does," Ashton says. "Tell me when it's released."

"I will."

They descend into silence, neither of them wanting to say what comes next. Michael scuffs his toe against the pavement and wonders if it's too late to take those words back and run away together.

"Did you have fun?" Ashton asks eventually. "Was the weekend okay?"

"It was amazing, Ashton. It honestly was probably one of the best weekends of my life."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Michael grabs his hands. Ashton immediately brushes his thumb over the promise ring, and Michael hopes he keeps doing that long after the promise ring has switched to a wedding band. "I spent it with my favorite person. What's not to love?"

Ashton kisses him.

"I love you," he says.

"I know," Michael replies.

"Nerd."

Michael smiles and kisses him again.

"I love you, too," he says. "I'm going to miss you a lot."

"I'm only a few hours away," Ashton says. "I'll visit you and make you visit me. Besides, it'll be better with Calum and Luke there again."

"Yeah."

"Cheer up, buttercup. You just had an awesome weekend."

"Yeah," he repeats, squaring his shoulders. "You're right."

"Of course I am."

Michael rolls his eyes and kisses him one last time. When he drives away it still hurts, but not as much as it could.

Calum is unpacking when Michael gets in, and they stay up late catching up. He doesn't check his phone again until he goes to bed.

Ashton tagged him in an Instagram post. It's full of pictures from the weekend: Michael smiling with the Dippin' Dots, them at dinner, a selfie of them in the hotel room, mini-Sheila, and a few more secret shots he took. It's a perfect summary of the two of them, a combination of silly and sweet that makes Michael's chest feel funny. He loves him so much he might burst with it.

The caption is simply someday every day will be like this. Michael falls asleep dreaming of ugly art in their own apartment and waking up to Ashton every morning.

[groundzerobakugo]

just another hero // k. bakugou; part one

okay, so i was actually gonna make this a bakugou x oc, but i’m deciding to make it x reader. this will be a bit of a long read with multiple parts so i hope y’all are ready for this.

  gender in this imagine will be female, if you wish for me to create this with male or genderneutral pronouns please feel free to message me! i would be happy to help

word count: 2.1k

summary: with second year beginning, you’re too sure what to expect. first year was a wild ride, but you have a feeling the second won't be any different, especially as feelings for a certain hothead begin to arise.

quirk: plant manipulation

...

spring.

 you sat with bated breath as you rode the railway towards the coffee shop. it was a thirty minute ride from tsukauchi's apartment downtown, and you had left an extra forty five minutes early to avoid being late to meet your friends—you were exceptionally early to everything. your hands were shaking as you gripped them tight, a wave of anxiety rolling over with the thought of seeing everyone again.

 they had all been busy over break, especially with their internships, so it seemed as though you hadn't seen your yuuei classmates for years.

  you watched as the city passed by in a blur, your faint reflection in the window staring off. you idly twirled a lock of hair around your finger; your elbow propped on the window ledge, cheek resting on top. you had five more minutes before you reached the station.

  you thought back to the previous year at yuuei and the craziness that ensued. from the first day; when you'd met iida, midoriya, and uraraka, choosing to walk to and from the station together, the mock battles and having bakugo cost you two the win, the sports festival where you hardly even made it to the second round in, befriending todoroki and helping him with his issues once he trusted you, dealing with bakugo's kidnapping over your break, even the provisional hero license exam. you'd grown a lot that year, and you wondered idly what second year would be like.

 the train came to a stop, the intercom announcing the arrival at your destination. you sighed and grabbed your backpack, exiting the train and making way way downtown, walking fast, faces passing and only giving you a second glance due to your uniform.

 the coffee shop had been a fifteen minute walk from the station, and you had arrived within about twenty minutes before you lot were scheduled to meet. so, you sat down at a spare table with just enough room for everyone and ordered yourself a peppermint tea and iida a green tea, unsure of what everyone else wanted.

 you stared outside the window, casually playing with a small vine in your hand. you occasionally sipped your tea, but your thoughts remained elsewhere.

 the five of you used to gather around the near-campus coffee shop daily, usually for studying or hanging out after a long day. it truly brought you all closer, and you could look to almost every single table and remember a different memory to go along with it. the time iida burned his tongue because he didn't wait for the tea to cool, when midoriya had knocked over a table and spilled food and drink onto everyone, todoroki trying to cool his drink down but accidentally froze it. even kirishima, ashido, and kaminari would join sometimes, bakugo usually choosing to pass.

 "(name)!"

  you turned, snapping back to reality; midoriya and uraraka were making their way to your table, closely followed by iida and todoroki. you stood and smiled.

 "hello, iida-san, midoriya-san, todoroki-san, uraraka-san," you gave each of them a small hug. "please, sit down. i didn't know what you guys wanted, so i only ordered my own tea and iida's green tea."

 iida smiled gratefully, "thank you, (name)." he took a sip of the tea, almost dropping it as he burned his tongue again. "every time," he muttered in distress.

 you laughed at him, "the waiter had just dropped it off, better let it cool."

 "i hope you weren't waiting too long," todoroki said, glancing up from his menu.

  you shrugged, "not too long, besides, todoroki-san, i'm early to everything, i'm always waiting." you turned to midoriya, "did you get to train with gran torino or toshinori over break?"

 "huh? oh, yeah!" the boy grinned, "i've definitely gotten a better grip on my quirk, much different from last year's first few weeks."

 "maybe you actually stand a chance in the sports festival this year," you replied. "i'd love to see you and todoroki-san fight again."

 iida nodded, "i agree, that would be very interesting, seeing as you both have a better handle on your quirks and more training."

 todoroki set down his menu, "not a bad idea. we'll just have to wait and see."

 "i wonder how bakugo-san is doing," uraraka said, "if he'll win again this year. he definitely has gotten more powerful."

 "true," midoriya agreed, "he's been taking laps around our neighborhood more often, early morning training, i think."

 "what about you, (name)?" todoroki asked.

  you looked up, "what about me? for the sports festival?"

 uraraka nodded, "oh yeah, you weren't able to participate in the one-on-one battles last year. do you think you'll get there this year?"

 you paled, "o-oh, i'm not too sure about that."

 "but you have a powerful quirk!" midoriya shouted; he immediately regretted it as the group shushed him. "sorry."

 "well, as much as i've been training, i still don't think it would be enough. if i were to be paired up with, let's say... bakugo-san, he could wipe me out in a matter of seconds," you said, eyes cast down. "i'm not really, uh, strong enough to compete with you guys."

 todoroki snorted. “you were placed in the hero course for a reason.”

 midoriya placed a hand on your shoulder, "we all saw you during the provisional license exam, you were amazing. kacchan is a fierce competitor, but just as you have your weaknesses, he has his."

 uraraka nodded in agreement, "right! and you've definitely mastered your quirk a lot more, weren't you telling me you could make an entire wall of thorns now?"

 "wait, you can make a wall of thorns?!" midoriya shuffled around his backpack and grabbed his analysis journal, jotting it down. "that's pretty useful, (name), you should be proud."

 iida agreed with him, as well as todoroki.

 you smiled, a small blush on your cheeks. "well, enough about me. what do you think this year is going to be like?"

 you were thankful as you had successfully steered the attention away from yourself, and the five of you caught up with smaller things aside from your quirk. they had all finished up their teas and coffees almost twenty minutes ago, but you all continued to talk. uraraka and yourself had turned to a conversation between you about the dorm life, while midoriya, iida, and todoroki talked strategies. you paused for a moment, looking around you, a warm feeling spreading in your chest.

 a year ago, you hadn't had any friends—you were a loner who prefered to keep to herself. but through a year of schooling and hardwork and stressful situations, the five of you had grown close. you never would have imagined yourself there, at the coffee shop, laughing as midoriya spilled coffee onto his uniform, or as iida reprimanded him for carelessness of the proud yuuei uniform, or todoroki watching with a slight smile on his face. you never would have imagined sleepovers in the dorm with uraraka and asui, staying up until iida scolded you three for being awake past bedtime hours.

 "(name)?"

 you blinked.

 "ready for school? if we don't leave soon, we'll be late." midoriya said.

 "l-late?!"

 and that was the fastest you had ever arrived to school, your friends struggling to keep up, save for iida.

 the day had passed in a blur almost, most of it spent catching up with old classmates. your lessons had gotten a tad harder, but most of it was review from last year anyway. lunch passed by quickly as well, and it was time for basic hero training.

 aizawa had announced that for the first day back, you would be conducting mock battles, just as you had in the beginning of last year.

 "you and your opponent have been marked on the board," he said, "hurry into your costumes and meet at ground beta. we don't have all day."

 you stared up at the board, struggling to find your name.

 "(name), it looks like we're battling each other!" uraraka announced; she approached your desk with a smile.

"really?" you looked up at the board again and saw your name next to uraraka's. "oh, nice." i wonder how this will work out, you thought to yourself.

 the class changed quickly into the gym uniforms, excited grins on everyone's faces.

 "deku!" bakugo growled, "don't you dare hold back!"

 midoriya grinned, "i won't!"

 kirishima and kaminari shared a similar exchange, jirou and asui, too.

 "it's good you're all fired up, but be quiet," aizawa had approached the class. "your goal is to either capture your opponent or make them give up with little damage to the city as possible. we can't keep paying for the constant damage," no one missed his eyes flick over to bakugo and midoriya. "you have twenty minutes, the first to go will be (name) and uraraka. the rest of you, head to the monitor room while i escort these two to their battlegrounds."

 the two of you followed aizawa to one of the streets of ground beta, telling you to position yourselves twenty feet away from each other.

"(name), uraraka," he called, "don't be scared to injure the other just because of friendship. this is to test how far your abilities have grown over the break. do not act irrationally."

you nodded, bracing yourself as a vine twirled around your index finger. uraraka placed herself into fighting position.

"the battle begins now," aizawa announced, stepping away from the pair and heading to the monitor room.

for a moment, you two didn't move; you were doing as you'd practiced over the summer, a new move you hadn't told uraraka about should this situation occur.

but your eyes widened as uraraka came charging, you raising your hands. you stopped, however, knowing that raising your wall of thorns would cause destruction to the streets, therefore nearly getting caught by uraraka's anti-gravity touch.

you swung around. the vine that had been around your finger had uncurled itself, darting out as it acted as a whip. you cursed to yourself as you missed, uraraka bringing her leg around before the vine could catch her and lifting herself into the air.

a tree off the corner of the street caught your eye, and you’d made a dash for it.

uraraka noticed and released herself, falling on top of you; her knee dug into your spine, the former beginning to apologize quickly.

"don't apologize," you grunted, the vine slithering behind uraraka.

the latter had seen the vine's shadow, rolling out of the way as you clambered back to your feet, back aching from where uraraka's knee came into contact.

you unleashed your vine again, thorns growing, sharp enough to cut through metal. you whipped it through the air, catching her leg as the girl clenched her jaw.

the vine slithered back to your palm, your face hard as you debated using the move you’d learned over break.

"ten minutes left, quit screwing around." the teacher's voice echoed.

you made a dash towards uraraka, the latter stumbling back in surprise. she braced herself for the fist that was raised her way, ready to counterattack, until you dropped at the last moment, uraraka's swing missing and causing her to lose balance. however, she still caught your ankle, as you began rising into the air.

your eyes widened, summoning the vine and wrapping it around uraraka's wrist, yanking yourself down as the vine continued to twist tightly around the brunette, down her arm and curling around her chest and waist.

the thorns had began to grow ever so slightly as the vine thickened, tightening and puncturing small holes into her body. uraraka released her quirk as she could no longer concentrate on keeping you off the ground, a hiss coming from her lips.

you dropped to your feet, barely catching yourself as you willed away the thorns—however, you hadn't released your grip of the vine.

uraraka's face was pinched with pain, and she was barely able to squeak out a surrender.

"uraraka surrenders, (name) wins."

you let go of your focus, the vine uncurling and slipping away into your palm. uraraka dropped to her knees as she struggled to catch her breath, a rib fractured and many puncture wounds causing blood to seep out onto her uniform.

"are you okay?" you dropped beside uraraka, slightly out of breath with your head pounding—there was one downside with your special move. with the constant tightening and having to produce a thicker vine, it took up quite a bit of stamina and it felt as though your own body was being squeezed as it drained your energy. you called the move balboa fittingly enough.

uraraka gave a weak nod, "that was...," she breathed in quickly in pain, "amazing, (name)."

"let me help you up," you stood, your own knees shaking, and you helped your friend to her feet.

you allowed yourself to be used as a crutch as you headed over to the monitor booth. aizawa had declared you the winner and excused you to take uraraka to recovery girl; even if you missed a match or two you knew midoriya would take notes for you.

...

part two. masterlist. request here.

[preppernewstoday]

Every Prepper should set goals and create short-term and long-term plans to be ready for any eventuality. The SurvivalBlog editors will be sharing their weekly prep activities and plans for the next week. These include gear purchases and healthcare, as well as gardening, ranch improvements and bug out bag fine-tuning. This is similar to the Retreat Owner Profiles but written in increments and in details throughout the year. We welcome your success stories and wisdom to be shared in e-mails. Many of these - or excerpts thereof - are posted in this column, the Odds ‘n Sods Column and the Snippets Column. Let's get busy and be prepared! Jim Reports: Our shop insulating/partitioning/pegboarding/shelving project is still in progress. Once I have all the rivet shelves installed, I will work on better organizing our tools and materials. This will be a busy winter for me. But, hey, "What's the time to a hog?" Our shop will soon enter the "decorating” stage. Long-time SurvivalBlog readers will recall that I am a collector license plates. I'll be able to add many more plates to my collection with the new shop partitions. Please send me any old plates that you still have in a flat rate USPS box. They would be greatly appreciated! Although I may want to collect foreign plates and very old plates, my current license plate collection consists of four main themes. Bible verse custom plates. Permanent plates and plates with "Perm” stickers Custom plates that refer to hunting, guns or cartridges. Plates with wildlife theme -- especially deer and elk My inspiration to start my license plate collection was around 1974 when I saw the first "vanity" plates on an old Jeep in my hometown, Livermore, California. It said: " 7MM4ELK". In 1970, California introduced custom plates through a law signed into law by Ronald Reagan. Our postal address: SurvivalBlog.com P.O. P.O. Box 303 Moyie Springs, Idaho 83845 Many Thanks! Now, let's move on to Lily... Avalanche Lilily Reports: Dear Readers It is continuing to be very beautiful and sunny with high temperatures in seventies and lows of the thirties, forties. Although I love the warmth and sunshine, we are at an abnormally dry level according to the drought monitor. Two more trees provided me with apples this week. Only four out of seven trees produced apples this year. All the rest of our trees probably needed some rest. I have one tree I will allow to grow the apples until the forecasted hard freeze hits, which is likely to be on the 23rd of the month. For the first time, I harvested hazelnuts from our young hazelnut trees. Exciting! They are drying now. I will share more information later. I took half of my celery and washed, chopped, and dried it. The rest I kept in the fridge. Since planting herbs last year and this, I'm a novice in herb gardening. I was able to grow a handful of varieties of mint, parsley and cilantro before. I harvested sage and put it in the dryer with the mint, oregano and celery for the first time. I also picked dill, rosemary, and horehound -- all firsts for me. (Well, I actually picked and used the dill earlier this summer). They can be left on a windowsill until the celery, mint and sage have been dried in the dehydrator. Except for the sage, all of these herbs were grown at our greenhouse. I made five more trays in the greenhouse and planted Winter thyme basil, Winter thyme and Winter cress. This week we had two light frosts in one morning. I decided to end the season of squash in the woodshed garden, and the compost pile. I harvested the remaining squash that I had harvested after the first light frost a month back. I left the smaller squash to grow if the weather was good, which it was. I cleaned the vines in both areas, and then rototilled the soil in the woodshed to plant 218 garlic cloves and five rows of potatoes, Viking, Yukon and Red. We will see how they do in the soil, and then grow next spring.

To get ahead of spring, I plan to plant some more vegetables in the next weeks: turnips, carrots and beets. (See the article by Garden Therapy. After a Shmittah Year rest, I started breaking ground (rototilling), in the Main garden to prepare it for next spring. We will then rototill the soil and spread the compost over it. I cleaned the henhouse. The chicks are doing well. These are the videos that I saw this week, which point to Biblical prophecies occurring in the coming seven year, the next Shmittah period of which very well could also be the last Shmittah phase during which Jesus may return. For more information, please refer to the books of Revelation and Daniel 24'' Keep in mind that Israel today is the timepiece. Israel was created in 1948. In 2028, she will turn eighty-years-old. Psalm 90 says that a man's lifespan is seventy and eighty years if there is strength. Jesus stated in Matthew 24:that the generation who sees, the "Fig Tree", blossoms (Hosea 9.10: I found Israel like grapes in a wilderness; but, they went to Baalpeor and separated themselves from their love; and their abominations are according to what they loved.") He will never leave us before he returns. Israel is the Fig tree. We are therefore most likely within the time frame for His return. Matthew 24:32: Learn a parable about the fig tree. When his branch is still tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near. As you will see these things, you'll also know it is close, even at the door. Verily, I say unto thee, This generation will not pass, until all these things are fulfilled Heaven and Earth shall pass away, but my words will not pass away. Every aspect of the world's current events, whether they are geopolitical, economic, cultural, political, or agricultural, seems to be in line with the prophetic scriptures. Let us keep our eyes open and pray for protection from the Lord God and His wisdom and guidance during these treacherous times. We wish you all a blessed and safe week. - Avalanche Lily, Rawles o o o Please share your successes and wisdom with us by sending e-mails. We will publish them in the "Snippets” column next week. We would love to hear from your.

[einstetic]

I enjoy reading posts were people share their ups and downs with the past year and what goals they have set for themselves for next year. I asked you approximately a week ago if you were interested in me doing a similar post and i seemed to only get positive feedback so here I am! IN 2017: ◾ I turned 18  ◾  I got myself my first real job ◾ I have gotten to know a lot of amazing people ◾ I’ve worked a lot on my shyness and I have seen some results ◾  My studyblr celebrated its one year anniversary ◾ I got an L(best grade) in one of my matriculation exams(civics) and E(second best grade) in English and M(third best) in Finnish which is disappointing but I’m retaking Finnish in spring 2018 ◾ I started writing poetry and kept a journal for 6 months ◾ I have gotten compliments on my resume and cover letters even though I haven’t got the jobs! ◾ I have lost weight without intention and haven’t been able to gain it back ◾  I’ve learned to love every season of the year ◾ I’ve been both hella healthy and hella unhealthy ◾ Consumed too much coffee and tea ◾ Laughed too much ◾ I’ve picked up reading again ◾  I finally finished the sketchbook i started in summer 2016 ◾  I’ve gotten interested in skincare and it’s now one of my passions ◾  My dad got us Netflix: obsessed. ◾ I’ve been helping others more than ever before ◾  I entered a math competition and ended up in 19th place out of ~70! ◾  I went to parties but never got drunk!! ◾  I’ve gotten more interested in veganism and minimalism ◾  I met a friend I stumbled up on tumblr! ◾...and a lot more WHAT DID I LEARN: ◾ Thrift shops are filled with treasures ◾ I care too much about what people think about me ◾ I’m a morning person ◾ I LOVE HUGS ◾ I often hide my true self ◾ I’m smarter and more productive than I think ◾ I need to be less harsh with myself ◾ I can actually bake :’‘) Inherited talent from my dad? ◾ I’m afraid of rejection by my friends ◾  I have to stop bottling up my feelings ◾  When I’m exhausted I cry easily :’‘‘‘) HOW DID I/MY LIFE EVOLVE? ◾ I’m weaker ◾ I drink a ton of water ◾ My skin is still shit :’‘) ◾ I’m more confident in my skin ◾ I threw out a lot of stuff and feel a lot calmer now ◾ I can buy alcohol lol ◾  I’m more lost than ever when it comes to my future plans IN 2018 I’LL   ◾ take initiative in my relationships ◾ eat more healthily again ◾  start taking care of my body ◾ make sure my skin will get better ◾ get a health check-up and express my concern with my weight and exhaustion ◾ get my driver’s license! ◾  graduate from high school ◾  improve my art and writing! ◾  read more books ◾ find a job, either a steady or a summer ◾ drink even more tea, water and coffee ◾ start spreading positivity ◾  stop saying sorry and thanking more! THEMES FOR 2018: ◾ Physical health ◾  Self care ◾ Relationships ◾  Positivity 2017 was great and 2018 will also be good! Thank you for everything and I hope 2018 will treat  every single one of us right!

[kitanoko]

BNHA Light Novel Vol.1 Ch.1 translation

This is the Chapter 1 translation for the first “boku no hero academia” light novel! I actually felt a weight, like sorrow sinking from my head to my toes, when I was translating part of the beginning and also Todoroki and his mom’s conversation. Hope those without access to the book will enjoy this as that is why I spent time typing it up! XD the novel is truly quite fun to read

I will be posting my thoughts on it later but for now, please click ‘Keep reading’ below for my translation :)

At the time when spring turned to summer on a beautiful day, the students who finished the internship were preparing for the final exams. “Next, Midoriya Izuku.” In the empty streets, a soft sound drifted. Aizawa with his tired eyes, looked at the students on the third floor of the large building. “Here!” The student who got called, Midoriya Izuku, had an anxious expression on his face when he answered. His hair was curly and he looked very plain, but the freckles on his face make him give off a positive feeling. “Deku-kun, do your best!” Uraraka Ochako said in a cheerful tone. She was waiting behind him as she is going to go on stage soon. Her joyful voice made his cheeks turn red as he turned around to answer “okay!”. Izuku entered the bag-like tunnel that connects with the ground floor.  The tunnel had a lot of twists and turns and this was usually used during rescue missions. Using a strategy similar to sliding on a slide, it allows people to slide from the top to the bottom with ease. This is UA highschool! Right now, Class 1 A is learning about the basics of how to be a hero. This highschool has a lot of amazing facilities like the training facility they are in and this place is able to sustain many people (several ten thousands). There is also a USJ which has areas that imitate places with natural disasters; they still have the memories of how villains trespassed and attacked them in USJ last time. Right now before them is a deserted street that is also part of the UA training areas. Quirks arose long along; since then, people started using their quirks for good and they were known as heroes. However, many also used them for evil. Thus, heroes became an important part of society that serves the public. Until now, not everyone can become heroes, only those who pass tests and get the license can call themselves that. It is illegal to use quirks in public without authorization. If one were to consider becoming a hero, one must enter a hero school like UA. Getting into UA is extremely difficult. Izuku has no quirk, and nowadays, that is called “quirkless”. Heroes must have a quirk as it is not feasible to be without one. Commonly speaking, age 4 is the latest in which one’s quirk will manifest.

After age 4, Izuku could not help but to accept reality. His dream of becoming the world’s best hero like All Might floated away further and further until it was so far that he can’t even reach it anymore. But he did not give up. No matter if others laughed at him or looked down at him and say how he has no quirk and can’t become a hero, he did not give up his goal. Maybe it’s because God or whoever out there heard his plea and wishes and so Izuku met All Might. All Might saw his potential and after training him, transferred “One For All” to him. In the beginning, Izuku couldn’t do what he wanted with the quirk and had no control, always wrecking his own body. However, both All Might and Gran Torino mentored him and gradually he was able to control it better. “HEEEUUUU” After a short time, Izuku slid out the tunnel, safely landing on the ground. “Okay the boys are all done. Now it’s the girls turn! Yaoyorozu, go.” “Yes!” The Vice President Yaoyorozu replied and slid to the ground through the tunnel. After Yaoyorozu landed on the ground, the small, grape-headed boy named Mineta let out a huge breath. “What’s wrong Mineta?” Izuku asked and Mineta let out another breath. “Midoriya, since we are on the topic of the girls sliding down, the thing that we should be looking forward to is seeing their skirts flip up right? Why is she wearing gym clothes….even though I should have known! This attire is not sexy at all, not even a little bit!” “You have no changed your bad habit one bit, Mineta.” After Yaoyorozu slid down, it was Tsuyu who could not help but comment as well. “Yeah, Mineta. If all the girls’ skirts flipped up then how do we continue lessons? Wearing gym attires make more sense. Wait actually, in order to stimulate a real situation, the girls should be wearing skirts actually!” Iida, wearing the normal uniform, came out with a serious expression said. “No I think you are thinking too much.” Izuku couldn’t help but laugh at Iida. “Stop laughing stupid Deku!” “Ah…Kacchan…” Standing near them was Izuku’s childhood friend Bakugou Katsuki. He’s always spewing out swear words and rude comments to others but has already toned it down…well compared to his childhood that is. “Stupid exercise! Die!” “What are you saying?! As a hero, rescuing others is the first thing so this is very important! This is a very meaningful exercise, isn’t it?!” “Whocares! Everyone has crap they’re good at! I can be the one who takes care of the villain while others do the rescue!!!” “Do you truly want to become a hero?!” Iida has a very strong sense of justice and so as he argued with Bakugou who has a self-esteem several times higher than everyone else, the two is like water and oil, cannot be mixed. Deku stood between the two. “Iida-kun please calm down!” “Yes, you’re right. Everyone has their own strong points.” The person who said this was the student with a cold expression and a scar caused by a burn, Todoroki Shouto. “Todoroki-kun?” “I cannot imagine Bakugou rescuing anyone.” “….WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?! BASTARD?!?!?!” “Ah, I understand! I feel like he would end up injuring people instead!” Kaminari spoke up and Bakugou was so angry he shouted at Kaminari with, “YEAH LETS SEE ABOUT THAT, I’LL HURT YOU FIRST!!!!” Bakugou’s palms started to have explosions within them. The girls who just all landed on the ground did not know what was going on in front of them and just stared with wide eyes. The groups of boys crowded around; some tried to stop the fight, some looked annoyed and once the fighting got to its peak, a voice came. “….Do you guys know what time it is?” It was Aizawa. Upon hearing his stern voice, the students quickly stood properly, poised and quiet. Up until this point, the students recognized how scary their teacher can be. Aizawa’s quirk activated for a second, revealing his red eyes. Aizawa’s quirk erases other people’s quirks, but because he hates the media knowing well how the media can interfere with his hero work, he would always keep himself hidden. “I heard you guys saying how everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, but this excuse during when people need rescuing is not valid. In order to become a great hero, you must do your best for any tasks at hand!” Aizawa turned his head to look at every one of them and continued on. “When the rescue crew and the police arrives late, leading civilians out to the escape route is also a hero’s job!” “If we are to lead them out, isn’t it faster to just rescue them ourselves?” As Hagakure was asking this question, all you can see is her gym suit wrinkling. It looked like she was waving and raising her hand. Hagakure’s quirk makes her invisible so her gym clothes look like they are floating in midair. “But if there are a lot of people, then you can only lead them out.” Yaoyorozu said logically and Aizawa nodded his head. “Exactly. If there were only one or two people, then rescuing them is easy. But if there were a lot then it will get problematic when using rescue equipment. Also, if you don’t know how to use the equipment at the time of need, then it’d be over. That is the main reason why the school prepares these lessons so you’ll have practice on each and every rescue equipment. Do you hear this, Bakugou?” “……..I understand.” Bakugou answered in a low voice. This is Bakugou’s way of getting along with others, using a lower voice to talk. Izuku stood near Bakugou and started mumbling analysis like he usually did. “Right, when letting  lot of people out, we need to use the appropriate quirk with the appropriate equipment……I wonder how that will be? Uraraka can make thing float, or Sero who can use his tape, and Mineta can use his sticky balls…..mmm yes that should be useful. There are lot of combinations…..!!” Izuku loves to analyze and think of strategies as he wants to become a hero so much. Every time he begins his rambling, everyone would get scared because of how fast he talks, like a tongue twister. Everyone already accept this though and would watch him with warm eyes, with the exception of Bakugou. “Then, after….” At this moment, a loud sound was heard above them, covering Aizawa’s voice. Everyone was shocked and looked up to see a helicopter coming down. From the aircraft, someone large came jumping down. “From the helicopter………I AM HERE!” “ALL MIGHT?!?!?!” All Might looked muscular as always with his powerful demeanor. The two horn-like hair spiked up from his head and was wavering in the wind caused by the aircraft. He showed his bright, white teeth as he grinned. “Everyone, I’m sorry I am late! I had to chase down a villain and so I just came!” “Uh yeah, this lesson was supposed to be your responsibility,” Aizawa said in an irritated tone. In contrast, All Might was beaming. “It’s already on the internet!!! During lunch I saw that you captured the bank robbers, right?!” “Yes, looks like the other case hasn’t been broadcasted yet.” “….AS EXPECTED OF ALL MIGHT!” Izuku admires All Might and so he looked super happy and excited. All Might has the aura to suppress evil. He is the “Symbol of Peace”. He has a student and mentor relationship with Izuku and only a few knows this secret. All Might can also only transform to his hero form for a short period of time now, which, also, only a few knows. “Midoriya my boy, thank you for your compliments, but we now must move onto the helicopter.” “Isn’t the helicopter just for bringing you here?” “No, our next exercise will be involve the helicopter, are you ready?” “wow, such is expected of a hero class….” Because Izuku was so stunned by All Might, he was standing here dumbfounded. Such is Ua! ~~ After learning how to rescue people on the snowy mountain and from the water, the students all returned to their classroom. “Right before this, when I was diving at the sea, it was the girls who helped me do CPR…..its like a deep kiss….can’t help but stop myself from breathing on purpose!” “But weren’t you ACTUALLY not breathing?” Hearing Kaminari and Mineta’s conversation nearby, Tokoyami muttered “What an annoying duo”. Tokoyami was someone who looked like a bird and had the quirk ‘Dark Shadow’, which is like a creature living in his body. At that moment, Aizawa entered the classroom and everyone sat properly at their own desks. “Good work. Even though this is sudden, in two weeks we will have a day for parents to visit the school.” After Aizawa said that, someone shouted, “What, even UA has parent-teacher days?!” It was Kirishima Eijirou. He is a very manly student who has the ‘hardening’ quirk. Aizawa handed out the notice, “Okay these need to be returned to me. Next, I need everyone to write a ‘thank you’ letter to your parents. You must put your feeling of thanks into it. After you’re done writing, you can hand it in to me.” Their homeroom teacher’s announcement caused a silence over the students, though someone quickly let out a loud laugh. “NO WAY, WE AREN’T ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS!” Kaminari shouted out, speaking for the rest of the students, but Aizawa cut him off. “Do I look like I am joking?” Aizawa was indeed scary and again the class fell to a silence. “When you write it, make sure to fully express how grateful you are to them and for your parents’ daily care.” Now that the students know their teacher wasn’t joking, everyone started to talk to each other, looking a little worried. “What, no way!!!! This must be a joke!!!” “Ugh so embarrassing….” As the bustle continued, Iida stood up and did his habit of chopping his hands in the air. “Everyone please quiet down. QUIET, QUIET, QUIET!!!” “Wow, Iida is so loud.” Tsuyu, who was sitting in front of Iida, was the one who said that and so Iida sat back down and mumbled a “sorry”. Iida, however, continued on, “Aizawa-sensei, everyone’s reaction is to be expected. The parent visiting day should be for them to see how our usual classes are normally right? Suddenly telling us we need to write and say out our thanks, I don’t understand the point of it. Letting our parents observe the specialty of a hero course, that should be the main point of the day, isn’t it?” Iida was breathing very heavily as Aizawa answered back, “Well, because it is a hero course, that is why we need to do this.” “What does that mean….” “Your goal is to become a hero. Think about it, you would usually hear those who got rescued express their thanks to those who rescued them. It is because of that, you should see it from another point of view and understand the importance of giving thanks.” “Oh is that so! I understand now! This is for us to understand how to be humble as a hero!” “Iida got convinced quite fast!” Uraraka sat behind Iida and she gave a laugh. Seeing Iida’s immediate change in expression, everyone lightened up and the whole atmosphere of the room changed to a positive one. Everyone now accepted their teacher’s request. In this class where anything can happen, one cannot let small things like these bother them. “I am planning to let you guys bring your parents over to see the facilities in the school, and let them take a look at how a stimulated lesson looks like before we let them see the letters.” After Aizawa explained that, Kaminari again shouted out something that everyone else in the class was thinking, “Why don’t you say THAT was actually the main point of the parent-teacher day?!” ~~ “Parent visiting day….and letter of thanks…what should I do?” Izuku mumbled in frustration. “All you CAN do is to write it obediently,” Todoroki replied next to him. Walking nearby was Iida. The President began to voice his opinion, “In the beginning, I was not comfortable with the idea either and was questioning why we needed to do it but now I feel that it is a very good idea. Even if we always care for our family members, it is not common for us to say our feelings out loud. Speaking of which, is there a limit to how many pages we can write for the letter? If the maximum number of pages allowed is very few then it will be very difficult for me to write it. I will have to think about how to shorten it.” The threesome were wearing their school uniforms on the way back home. From a bystander’s point of view, they may look like normal highschool students but in fact they were the ones who stopped Stain the hero killer. The three were not official heroes so if they were to use their quirks to fight against the villains, even if it were Stain the Hero Killer who killed many heroes, it would be illegal. The reason is that using their quirks without passing the license test could potentially mean that they could hurt civilians. The regulation people do not want to hurt those that could become heroes in the future so this rule was made. Iida was set on avenging his beloved hero older brother and his two friends Izuku and Todoroki came to save him. Fighting together helped them form a strong bond. “Iida-kun is so impressive being able to write so much. I don’t even know what to write. I used to send a lot of messages to pro heroes on the internet but I have never written a letter in real life.” “Really? I would write thank you letters (Iida means thank you letters that are meant to be returned after receiving a gift) sometimes.” “Thank you letters?!” “Occasionally, the people I help on the road like old grannies, would send me gifts and so I would write them a ‘thank you’ letter for the gift. My mom and dad told me that after receiving a gift, I must return a letter of thanks of my own.” Hearing how Iida can say that like it is nothing special, Izuku could only reply, “As expected of a family of hero ancestry!”. Izuku is so impressed by Iida! “Really? I think it is very normal,”  Iida says but felt embarrassed after seeing Izuku’s reaction. Iida turned around to try and get Todoroki to agree with him but Todoroki did not seem to feel the same. “No, that’s not normal. I have never written one,” was Todoroki’s deadpan reply. That caused Iida to again feel embarrassed, “Oh..really….” Seeing Iida’s discouraged face, Izuku instinctively started rambling again to lift Iida’s spirits, “W-well! Writing letters is a good thing! Now every time after I meet such situations I will write letters! It will help! Writing letters can really help me express my thoughts! Yes…yes…like last time when…” Izuku rambles on and hearing this Iida felt better. All of a sudden, Iida raised both of his hands up to the sky and shouted, “OH!!” “What is it Iida-kun?” “I’m so stupid, I totally forgot about this!” In his backpack, Iida took an envelope out. “What is that?” “Native-san gifted it to us! Tickets to the amusement park!” “Who?” “The pro hero that was with us when we were fighting Stain! Although, I wonder, why is he giving us tickets for the park?” “I think it is a thank you gift from him.” Iida took it out and there were 4 tickets. “Why four tickets then?” “He’s probably thinking how most rides have seats in pairs so that is why he gave us four?” Izuku’s answer was agreed upon by Todoroki who nodded his head and replied, “Ah, I see.” “Since Native-san is so nice to us, we should ask one more person to join us.” Hearing Iida’s response, Izuku became super energetic, “YEAH!” “Sure, doesn’t matter,” was Todoroki’s response. “But the tickets expire next week. Is next Sunday okay with you guys?” “O…OH! Sorry, I can’t go!” Izuku said, wide eyed. He really wanted to go! “What do you have?” “The Cultural Centre has a ‘Meet the Hero’ event! This time, new heroes are going to be there so I really can’t miss this event! Normally, I don’t have the chance to get data on the new heroes so this is my chance! Not to mention, there will be a special edition photo album with data and details of the new heroes!” Izuku’s expression was etched with anticipation and Iida replied, “Midoriya-kun, you really do love heroes….” “I’m sorry!!” “I can’t on Sunday as well, I need to visit my mother, I’m sorry.” Iida remained calm at his friends’ replies and said, “So, It’s like that. It is quite unfortunate, but it can’t be helped. Wasting these tickets would not be good, I guess I’ll ask the others!” “Let’s go together us three next time! Uh..if only I could go,” Izuku’s previous excitement dwindled away and Todoroki and Iida turned to face him. “What’s wrong,” Iida and Todoroki asked their friend, and Midoriya’s face became red. “I don’t know if I’m the only thinking this way of wanting to go together with you guys.” Todoroki and Iida watched Midoriya, amused. “Midoriya-kun, you have such a strong quirk but actually no one can tell by your usual behaviour!” Iida exclaimed and Todoroki agreed. Midoriya laughed at how surprised Iida looked. “Ah…yeah so on Parent visiting day, who from your family is coming Iida-kun?” “My mother because my dad has to go to work. How about you Midoriya-kun? “Just my mother. How about you Todoroki-kun?” “For me….probably no one from my family is coming,” was Todoroki’s only words and after a second, Izuku became frozen and could only say “Oh.” Izuku forgot about Todoroki’s family situation; knowing this why did he let his tongue slip and ask that question? Todoroki’s dad is the number 2 hero, Endeavor, while All Might was always the number 1 hero. Because of Endeavor’s obsession, he had a quirk marriage with Todoroki’s mom to produce the perfect child. From all of Todoroki’s siblings, Todoroki was the only one who was powerful and born with the best combination of quirks. Since young, Todoroki’s dad would train him with very extreme measures, hoping he would take over All Might as the number 1 hero. His mother tried to plea for Todoroki but his dad did not care. After all the torture that his mother had to go through, she poured boiling water onto Todoroki and burned his face, leaving a horrible scar. His mother was then sent to the hospital and after, Todoroki hated his father even more. “That….I’m sorry.” “So your mother lives in the hospital…..sorry.” Iida and Midoriya both felt bad and gave Todoroki their sincere apologies. Todoroki did not care however and answered, “Its fine. I don’t mind. Frankly, it isn’t something that you two need to apologize for.” “But not being able to see your child’s face in class and in the school exercises, your mom and dad must feel regret!” Iida added, continuously nodding his head. “…………..” Todoroki had no reaction hearing Iida’s comment and stuck his hands in his pockets. Inside was his notice from class earlier. “It’s not that bad. If ‘that old man’ came to see, then I’d actually feel uncomfortable.” “’That old man’? Are you talking about your dad? You can’t use ‘that old man’ as his title! That is disrespectful, you must at least call him your father.” “That kind of shitty father, saying ‘that old man’ is good enough for him!” “If you don’t want to call him father then how about ‘papa’?” “….pa…” “Or dad?” “…da….” Thinking about these different ways of calling his crappy father, Todoroki’s expression became more and more dark. Almost instantly, Izuku interrupted the two to stop their conversation. “Ah, of course!” Midoriya tried to salvage the situation, “Some families have different ways of calling their mom and dads, or maybe they would use their names directly!” “But calling them with their names would sound like a normal friend? The feeling of respect would become shallow I think.“ “You want me to call him properly? …..that’s something I can’t do.” Izuku stood there thinking of ways to revert the conversation topic back to normal, and ended up saying “Everyone can have their opinions on what to call others.” The three turned around the corner, but just as they did so, Todoroki suddenly halted. “Todoroki?” “I suddenly thought of something I have to do.” Seeing how Todoroki said his words, eyes unfocused, Izuku said, “Then, why don’t we split here. See you tomorrow!” “K.” ~~~ After separating from those two, Todoroki arrived at his mom’s hospital which had white and red columns. The visiting hours for the hospital was almost over but there were still a lot of people waiting at the lobby. Noticing that, Todoroki decided to take the elevator in a hurry to go up to the patient rooms. His eyes followed the lights on the elevator that graduating rose up and realized how nervous he actually was. He was anxious even though he knew he came up here many times already. This did not compare to the first time, however, when he was so rattled that his hands shook when reaching for the doorknob. As he strolled down the silent halls, he recognized the bleach smell that filled the air. From Stain’s incident, he went to another hospital and he thought “so, all hospitals have this same smell.” He recalled sleeping in that hospital after the incident with the other two and waking up in the middle of the night, cold sweat dripping down his face, and it was then that he thought about how horrible it was that his mom had to live in such conditions. “Shouto, that’s a surprise that you’re here today,” a voice came over the counter that he just passed. ….a surprise huh. “….hello,” Todoroki replied and he stopped midway. Originally, he wanted to ask the nurse when she said that it was a surprise for him to come today but a bell on the counter just rang and so he was interrupted. Gloving his hands back into his pocket, he could feel the notice from class. He continued walking, and after reliefing a light sigh, he opened the door. “……..mom.” “Shouto?” Sitting at the edge of the bed was his mother. Behind her was a window. She had on such gentle, soft rounded eyes that widened slightly. “Why do you look surprised mother?” “Ah…..it’s nothing. Come. Come sit.” She stood up and pulled a chair up to her son. Todoroki answered with a ‘un’ and sat down. His mother sat in front of him but didn’t move a muscle, eyes gawking at her son as if examining him. “….uh…mom?” Todoroki started feeling uncomfortable and shy now, wondering what his mother’s gaze meant. Quickly, his mom apologized and slowly shifted to sit at the edge. “You don’t have to apologize. I was just wondering if there was something weird on me that’s why you’re looking at me like that.” “No…its just that I don’t get to see you regularly…it feels like you’ve grown.” She started to stare at him again, making him feel awkward and he started to look downwards. A revelation arose. He realized that the nurse used the word “surprise” earlier because on regular school days he wouldn’t come. Today’s an exception. “Sorry for suddenly coming here.” “Don’t need to apologize, whenever you come, your mom will be happy.” Todoroki was happy that she said that. He swore before that he will save his mother from here and release her. Sitting in front of her, he also felt as though he returned to his childhood. “…………..” His fingers brushed against the notice again. Coming here so urgently albeit knowing that his mom wouldn’t be able to participate in the parent-teacher day, Todoroki knew he couldn’t help himself, subconsciously being pushed to come here, legs moving on their own. Should he tell her about that school event, or should he not? Seeing that her son wasn’t talking, Todoroki’s mom broke the silence and said, “That’s right, do you want something to drink?” “Oh…okay.” Todoroki stood up, expecting to buy his own drink outside. “I have prepared drinks, just open the fridge.” Hearing her said that, Todoroki went over to the table nearby and opened the fridge next t it. Inside were some green tea, soda and juice. There was also a yoghurt drink with a child-friendly, cute cow logo. “Shouto, when you were young, you used to love that drink, right? When I saw that in the store last time, I couldn’t help but to buy it.” Todoroki pursed his lips and didn’t mutter a word, brain totally blank. He had some memories of this drink but he knew he tried to forget about such memories long ago. Todoroki’s mom began to giggle a little seeing her son’s expression, “Ah…mother forgot that you are already a high school student….so I bought other drinks for you to choose. I wasn’t sure if you still like this yoghurt drink after so long……..” Inside Todoroki’s heart, a rush of happiness and warmth came. So his mom cared about him and thought about all this for him. “….then I will take this one.” He took the yoghurt drink and his mom cheerfully replied, “oh is that so.” The yoghurt drink didn’t have much of a taste, in fact, it was quite mild, but it was full of nostalgia. After he finished the drink, Todoroki playfully thumbed the drink and threw it away in the trashcan. The time they spent together from his childhood, those feelings will not suddenly rush out. Yet, the feeling and care they have for each other is something still kept within him after all this time. Because she was not there as he grew up, they can still feel the awkward atmosphere between them. Like always, his mother’s comfortable and gentle voice can still break that solemn feeling. “So how is school?” “mmm…” At that moment, Todoroki let out a sigh. He couldn’t think of anything else but the notice and again he felt unsettled. But if he were to let her know about it, it should be now! He still can’t say it though he kept repeating that inside. Todoroki’s mom waited for a long time for his response but none came. Her expression started to change to concern. Todoroki quickly said something so she won’t worry anymore. “Today in class we learned how to use a resuscitation device and we also went up the air in a helicopter.” “Wow, helicopter? Using such things!” Todoroki felt good noticing how surprised his mom was and continued, “Because heroes need to rescue people too. It’s part of their jobs.” “Yes that’s right.” “After, we learned how to use a rescue slide that goes from a higher place to the ground.” “uh huh…” “And then we learned how to use code to contact each other, that sort of a thing.” “Oh is that so.” “And….” Todoroki started to go on and on in a low voice. His mom kept watching him, a small smile slowly gracing her lips. “All Might also came, he helped teach the class.” “I remember back then when you were young, you loved All Might, right? But your father never allowed us to watch it so I secretly recorded it and we watched it together, remember that?” “mm.” For some reason, Todoroki knew he wanted to be a hero like All Might since young but without realizing it, Todoroki had kept that so deep within his heart and slowly he wiped that feeling away completely without a speck. While on this topic, Todoroki thought about Midoriya’s messed up hands, twisting unnaturally with lots of blood. “….there’s this guys named Midoriya.” “Ok.” When he first entered the school, he didn’t notice Midoriya, but during the villain invasion, he saw how he and All Might released super human strength. Todoroki saw how All Might would care about Midoriya and so during the sports festival, he wanted to fight Midoriya. Todoroki had always wanted to fight with only the side that his mother gave him, his right side. He saw how his father was super irritated by how Todoroki was still winning without using the left side and so Todoroki thought he had his revenge and won against his father. But when fighting Midoriya, who had so many injuries and still screaming at him about how “this is your power!”… That somehow hit him. Midoriya’s voice. Seeing how Midoriya was totally beat up but still kept fighting and running straight towards him. It was because of how much Midoriya respected and admired All Might, it allowed Todoroki to feel the same way deeply. It was at that moment that Todoroki forgot about everything. Forgot about his dad whom he hated so much. After forgetting everything, he was able to see himself and use the left side. “During the sports festival, I fought Midoriya and he ran towards me even though he was beat up.” “mm.” “…so I used my full power.” “…..mm.” “That was the first time I used my full power.” “…I see.” “Midoriya is strong.” Todoroki’s mom gave a smile, “I see you have made a good friend.” Todoroki nodded slowly, “…un.” “Mother, this is the newly washed clothes…..what? Shouto? Why are you here? How rare.” It was Todoroki’s sister, Fuyumi. Her appearance looks just like their mother’s and had a very joyful aura. “The second time….” “What?” “Nothing.” “Really? Okay, mom I’ll put the clothes in the closet.” “Thanks, I bothered you again.” “What, don’t so formal with me mother!” Fuyumi came in carrying the clothes and placed it into the wardrobe, and while doing that, she asked Todoroki, “Was there something that happened today?” “No.” Todoroki stood up, planning to throw the notice into the trash but as his body lifted, the paper fell out of his pocket. “What? What’s this?” “WAIT!” Fuyumi turned around after she placed the clothes, and picked up the paper to read it. “A notice about parent visiting day…?” “huh….” “…hey don’t just go looking at my things!!” “Oh….” Fuyumi’s face had a smile etched onto it but the irritating feeling that Todoroki felt for half the day suddenly came rushing back, though hearing his mother’s next words did not help. “Shouto…I’m sorry, your mom cannot go.” Seeing how sad his mother looked, Todoroki felt frantic. “No. I just wanted to tell you about it….don’t apologize…” Todoroki now regretted. If he knew earlier that his mom would feel this way he would have not came here. “Sorry…” “Shouto…” Todoroki said his apologies in a mumble and his mother scrunched her brows together in worry. “Ah… you two…” Fuyumi, who accidentally caused all of this, stood between the two to try and fix it. Abruptly, she came with a great idea and cried out, “RIGHT!” Fuyumi’s eyes lit up with energy. “How about I go to the parent visiting day!” “What, don’t you have to teach?” Fuyumi was a elementary school teacher. “Don’t worry, if it is family things, I can tell my work early and get half a day off. So, I will go to the parent visiting day and take a video and show mom! Isn’t this idea great?” Fuyumi was grinning widely making Todoroki speechless. “But this isn’t some elementary school sports day.” “Huh? So no video? Recently, there was a elementary school parent visiting day and all the parents were happily recording videos!” Todoroki wanted to refute by saying, “don’t mix high school with elementary school!” but his mother cut him off. “So…recording the video is not okay?” Todoroki’s mother looked very hopeful at first but now she had a shadow over her expression, Fuyumi noticed this and tried to raise the mood. Todoroki actually really hated videos and didn’t want to have recordings but he knew his mother was anticipating it and eally wanted it so he said, “…I’ll ask the school and see…” This was Todoroki’s way of negotiating. Afterwards, dinner was served and so Todoroki and Fuyumi had to leave. In the halls, Fuyumi began to speak. “Your teacher is Aizawa sensei right?’ “Yes…” “Why do you look so tired? Oh yeah, dad may be able to go….” “You DEFINITELY cannot tell him about this!!!” “Oh? but…’ "You can’t tell him!” Fuyumi watched as Todoroki’s expression became serious as he repeatedly objected her and so she said, “…okay..okay” Waiting for the elevator, Fuyumi could see Todoroki still frowning. “Do you hate videos that much? If you really don’t want to I won’t record anything.” That made Todoroki lift his head. “Yeah I don’t like to be recorded but I’m not thinking about that anymore!” “It’s not that?” “….I’m just thinking, if I didn’t come and tell mom about this, wouldn’t it have been better?” “Oh, so its about that issue!” A corner of Fuyumi’s lips tugged upwards and she reached her hand out to pat on her younger brother’s head. “What are you doing?!” “Listen. No parent would be sad knowing that their kids are working hard for them. Mom may be unable to go and feels like she owed you for it but you coming here to tell her makes her feel happy already. This is your first time telling her about parent visiting day.” Hearing Fuyumi’s explanation, Todoroki realized she was correct. Whether it was towards his mom or his dad, this was still the first time he told them about parent teacher day. “…..you are acting like a teacher.” “Well I am a teacher!!” Fuyumi stroke his head again lightly after hearing him saying it while hiding his shyness. The elevator announced its arrival with a sound and its doors opened. “Shouto are you not coming in? The door’s going to close.” Todoroki went in after his sister’s suggestion and had a thought in his mind. Even if it is quite embarrassing, he will still endure the video taping because that small deed would make his mom happy.

[memorylang]

The Driven New Year | #49 | January 2021

I’d been waiting to share this new story till I got the news. I felt so delighted that day that, on my walk home from the DMV (since I’d borrowed another’s sedan to take my road test), I went live on Facebook to share. I’d spent much of January mentally and physically training for that, which I prayed would be my final road test. I felt magnificently relieved as I thanked God and friends that I’d passed at last. In today’s blog story, I recount the road to my driver’s licensure and adventures preceding it! 

From New Year’s Day 

I’d last written to you from Reno, where I’d rung in the New Year among a small gathering of friends, old and new. That Week 44 (Jan. 1–7), I resumed writing my book memoir chapters, seeking to complete a selection before the month’s end. Because, prior, my father had brought from Vegas to Reno the treadmill that I had been using last summer, now during mornings I’d ascend the treadmill once more. 

I concluded the week by relearning with help from YouTube how to sew, by mending an old blue flannel that I’d damaged, by starting to watch Pixar’s “Soul” through Disney+ with my sister, her caring boyfriend and our friend and then by joining Dad on the road back to Vegas. 

Upon returning to Vegas, I reunited our other sister and met her boyfriend for the first time. He knew witty things about franchises that I enjoyed and was fun to talk to. That Week 45 (Jan. 8–15), I pushed through to finish writing the memoir chapter trilogy I’d resumed in Reno, continued in the Blue Lions story on my sister’s copy of “Fire Emblem: Three Houses,” trimmed more fronds from the palm trees and began a massive clean-up project of the bedroom that had become mine. 

Filipina Adventures

That Friday, Jan. 15, my sister and her boyfriend took off, but she’d said that she’d return before her birthday, Jan. 25. That day, Dad had also visited from Reno. So that evening, he and I visited my stepfamily’s house, to help. 

At my stepfamily’s, we wheeled an old fridge from the back porch to the front to be taken and replaced. We also picked a great deal of calamondin from Tita’s tree after dark, which reminded me of childhood memories picking produce in our backyard garden while living in Indiana. Tita and my stepsisters would ask if we were coming in, but Dad would still have me out there working with him. 

That evening, I also got to meet my baby step-nephew! He was just over a month old, so he was perhaps the youngest infant I’d met since my youngest brother (born in 2OOI). I enjoyed talking to his parents, who’d told me about their past month in transition. 

Saturday night, I had a check-in call with an old friend from high school with whom I’d grown close through our experiences as community service-loving Nevada honors undergraduates. She too is Filipina and liked how I’ve really started to embrace the culture since meeting my stepmom. My friend also answered some cultural questions for me, clarifying names like “calamansi” for the tiny citruses that Papa and I had picked from Tita’s fruit tree and the name “pandesal” for the tasty cream-filled “Filipino rolls” that Tita had bought me. I didn’t know that my friend was actually born in the Philippines, but we admitted that the topic hadn’t come up before. Turns out that my friend had even studied Latin in high school because hers had a specialty for classics. I love how checking in with ol’ friends reveals to me how much I’ve grown, too.

“New World, New You” Challenge

Thursday, Jan. 21, the morning after Inauguration, kicked off a new virtual adventure. One random YouTube moment, I’d noticed an ad that Tony Robbins would be hosting live online trainings. At that time, I was feeling a post-holiday motivation slump. So, I hopped into TR’s Facebook group and introduced myself, my challenges and my goals. I felt amazed by his international audience. 

For those five days, I’d committed to tuning in every morning at 11 a.m. for motivational talks in light of both the pandemic and new year. I felt surprised to find that in those course of those days, I’d go on Facebook Live my first time and many times more. Folks were right. I needed to break through hold-ups to embrace capabilities. I remembered the importance of habits. 

Among the topics of a talk, we discussed the importance of different kinds of inner perspectives, nicknamed, the “Warrior,” “Magician,” “Lover” and “Sovereign.” These reminded me of a technique I’d learned years ago in interpersonal group therapy, about imagining ourselves as multiple selves instead of one. I liked these, because in life sometimes we need to put on our “grrr” face but other times ought to have more fun, can experience full gratitude and can look at the bigger picture. In this sense, I remembered the phases of water analogy that I’d heard in Mongolia, fall 2OI9. 

Road Back to Driving

Amid the “New World, New You” Challenge, I’d also had my first driving lesson with a training school. Prior to that Sunday, I’d only driven once lately, with my sister, around the Vegas neighborhood. Prior to that, I hadn’t driven for nearly two years, since spring 2OI9, before I’d graduated college. 

Having failed my road test in Reno nearly half a dozen times between 2OI7 and 2OI8, I hadn’t felt the most confident in my abilities to pass. I’d gotten and renewed permits throughout my undergrad. I’d trained with friend after friend and with siblings, too. 

That said, many people had told me that Reno’s streets were narrower and its tests from the Reno-Galletti DMV were harder than those in Carson City and in Vegas. I’d also been practicing on trucks, so people had suggested that I try smaller vehicles. All my siblings had passed in Vegas, after all. 

With so many failures, I wondered if I felt residual challenges from knowing that Mom had failed her road test multiple times... and that a careless driver had killed my mother. I wonder whether my failures related to how I identify with Mom. That 2OI7 in China had made me feel in some moments as though I was retracing her steps. My faults resembled her faults. But I am not her. 

Furthermore, my concerns for the environment didn’t motivate me much to drive when I knew that doing so contributes more to carbon emissions. My overabundance of caution on the road seemed to compound in hesitancy at the wheel. Still, learning to drive is part of life. 

Ultimately, since my plan was to be in Mongolia from 2OI9 to 2O2I then in China from 2O2I to 2O24, getting a U.S. license hadn’t persisted as a key need—till the pandemic returned me to America. 

Another Approach

Back in Reno, spring 2OI9, after I’d failed my test for the fourth or fifth time, the lady behind the desk recommended me for driving school. I felt ashamed. None of my siblings had to go to driving school. I hadn’t heard of anybody who did. 

A year and a half later, at Thanksgiving with my stepfamily, my stepmom had mentioned that at least one of her daughters had attended driving school to get licensed. Later, my LA sister had mentioned that some of her friends did driving schools, too. So, I felt less worried about trying it.

And though I’d worried a bit about the cost, my youngest sister had pointed out that by going through the driving school, I wouldn’t need to drive nearly as many hours as she and our siblings had driven prior to their taking their road tests. So, I foot the bill, taking solace that I was at least contributing to the economy. 

As added plusses, if I figure this out how to get this license, then I wouldn’t have to renew my permit every year. My youngest brother also mentioned that in the coming years self-driving cars will be mainstream enough that I might not have to drive much, anyway. So this was a mere trial of adulthood, then. 

After having passed in December my written test to renew my permit, I readied for the road. On the Friday, Jan. 8, 2O2I, that I returned to Vegas from Reno, I followed up with a driving school that Tita had recommended. The school scheduled me for the month’s end. 

First Lesson

Sun., Jan. 24 came my first lesson. The instructor had arrived at my house’s driveway in a white sedan that had tags identifying it as a student vehicle. As soon as he got out and greeted me, he had me sit in the unfamiliar vehicle going through the motions that a tester would expect. If I’d any moment’s hesitation, the instructor clarified and, regarding safety, admonished. 

As I hit the road, the instructor commented on my mistakes and offered strategies to key details. He assured me that many of my issues would vanish as I get used to my vehicle. Unfortunately, I’d always been driving different cars, he explained. That’s why I don’t know things instinctively. But when I have my own car someday, he spoke with certainty, then I’d understand these well. 

I think of my driving instructor as a coach. He gives me very clear advice and answers all my questions. I love instructors who don't tire from my questions.

When I asked about the rules for how our hands must always be on the wheel, he described that I am driving a machine that is capable of killing. This is, in fact my view of cars, too. He'd later describe how if I'm rear-ended, then having only one hand on the wheel could cause me to swerve and potentially kill someone. I decide to withhold that my mother was killed by an inattentive driver.

Since I’d take my test in under two weeks, the instructor suggested that we practice more together. Although he usually has a couple days off per week, the COVID situation has had him working overtime. So he invited me to reach out if I wanted to practice. Realizing how much I gained from our first two hours, I agreed to take him up on his offer. He recommended that I practice more with my sister, too, so I committed to that as well. 

Life in Transition

The next night, Mon., Jan. 25, was my LA sister’s birthday, so she and her roommate had come to Vegas that weekend. Later that week, they would return to LA, so I got in one more practice with my sister. She offered more pointers and said that I’d improved. 

Jan. 25 was also the end of TR’s “New World, New You” Challenge and the Catholic Feast Day commemorating the conversion of St. Paul, my confirmation saint. To honor the confluence of events, I concluded writing in journal that I’d been keeping since picking it up January 2OI9 in Taiwan and began writing in a journal that I’d received from my sister as a Christmas 2OI9 gift when I’d visited Vegas from Peace Corps service in Mongolia. 

After my sister and her friend returned to LA, Thurs., Jan. 28, I finished listening to the “Kafka on the Shore” (Murakami, 2OO5) audiobook while cutting more palm fronds and archiving my belongings from boxes to bins in our garage. I marked each day with stretches, morning walks and journaling my gratitude and goals. I felt committed to making 2O2I my year. 

Second Lesson 

Lesson 2 rolled around on the First of February. Having finished the audiobook to which I'd been listening since late last year, I decided to resume watching “Daredevil” Season 3, a Netflix series that I’d intermittently followed over the past five years. As a reward for continuing my morning walks and to get pumped to take on the day’s driving, I saw an episode right before leaving the house. 

By my second driving lesson, I felt more confident with what I knew and didn’t know. But this time, an unfamiliar white sedan sat at the curb. I waved my hand, and the driver stepped out, indeed my coach. The other vehicle was in the shop but would be ready before my test. 

This time we went straight to mirror adjustment. Before we hit the road, I asked about how many wheel rotations this vehicle would need for me to make a full turn. Coach stepped out to confirm the count for me as I turned the wheel. Then we hit the road.

As I drove more smoothly this time, Coach recounted fascinating stories from his life. Some tales reminded me of “Daredevil” episodes. He too came from a Catholic family, and the experiences that brought him from Texas to LA to Vegas were remarkable. By our final lesson, I’d insisted that he ought to record these someday, in writing or audio. 

As for my driving, whenever I had particular issues, Coach had stories. His decades of students have exposed him to plenty. He mentioned one who had driven perfectly during her lessons but had to take her test 17 times before she passed, because of her nerves. But I felt empowered realizing that no matter how many times I try, I too will pass. 

On to the End

On a morning walk between my driving lessons, I recalled a takeaway that I’d felt while seeing in November with my sister “The Guru” episode from “The Last Airbender.” The protagonist, called the Avatar, struggles to control or 'bend' fire, after having failed before. The guru thus tells him, “You will never find balance if you deny this part of your life. You are the Avatar and, therefore, you are a firebender.” I connected this to how in the U.S., driving in many parts of the nation for people of many income levels is a necessary part of life. I am a 21st-century American and, therefore, I am a driver. 

By my second lesson’s end, Coach said that I could probably pass my test just barely. I decided that I’d rather do more than pass, and I want to ensure that I pass. So, I continued with my lessons, feeling reaffirmed to build habits that will help me feel at peace in the most scenarios. Two lessons remained. 

At Last

The morning of road test, February 4, 2O2I, I’d coincidentally, after having read the Book of Psalms daily for nearly five months, reached Psalm 150, the final. I’d prayed too that morning a whole rosary, feeling called to it. And, I prayed for peace, gazing at the palms that I’d cut for so long. 

Three hours later, I got out of the car as my examiner, with his face shield and mask still on, read from his clipboard his notes from my test. He gave the uncomfortably familiar litany of points that I hadn’t noticed on the drive. As he gave my feedback, Coach walked up to hear how I did. 

I worried that my clarifying questions to my examiner would sound as though protesting. I didn’t want to sound defensive, instead wanting to understand clearly. People in the past had mistaken my clarifying questions as defensiveness. Plus, Coach had told me stories about former students who’d failed after protesting and accidentally pointing out areas where they should have lost points. Coach advised me before not to overthink things. 

The tester was quite serious about the points that he was making. He added that I was ‘lucky’ that other drivers on the road paused for me that they did. I wondered whether to lump luck under divine intervention. My tester noted that I still need more practice. But, barring these, he’s passed me with “high marks.” 

I gasped. 

I looked at the tester and back at my coach. Coach grinning, clarified with the instructor that I passed and congratulated me. Coach had commented, partially teasing me, that I’d received the same advice during our lessons. 

Since Coach was wearing gloves, I accepted his handshake over our usual fistbump. I offered to write a great review on Yelp if he could text me the link. Then we said farewell. I accompanied my examiner back inside the DMV and started texting people my news. 

At last, I’d earned my license.

Triumphant Return

Coach was already gone, since he’d had another appointment to keep on the other side of town. Rather than take an Uber home, I decided to walk. Perhaps I might be walking less in the future. I enjoyed time to reflect. 

On my walk back, along the roads on which I’d driven, I bought groceries at a local Smith’s and through Pokémon GO caught a Suicune. I’d recall a quote that a high school counselor once told me, “You know how to spell ‘freedom?’ C-A-R.” Despite this, I still prefer public transportation. 

I prefer sharing Earth’s resources and having a chance to feel as part of a community. When I’d come alone to Taiwan back in December 2OI8, riding the metro gave me some semblance of community. In the COVID-19 pandemic, I cherish community more than ever. Walking connects me to places, too. 

To My Future

My siblings were proud of me. Oldest Brother and his girlfriend came over and played Taboo with our sister and me. Papa reached out to warn me not to drive till he got me on the insurance, but he seemed proud of me, too. Tita and my stepfamily over our group chat encouraged me to drive Dad’s ‘classic’ truck that’s been sitting here. 

I felt craving celebratory pancakes with my sister, but she didn’t feel like cooking. So, the next morning, she took me to IHOP instead. I tried this crème brûlée flavor and had leftovers enough to last me three days! 

With February upon us, many holidays come. (If only the Chiefs had won last night’s Super Bowl!) Well, my next blog stories will cover more official holidays. 

Having secured my license, finished experiencing “Kafka on the Shore,” wrapped up much of the yard work and taken care of bringing my belongings into bins, I’ve in my first month completed many of my 2O2I goals. Now, I get to dream bigger. The best is yet to come. 

You can read more from me here at DanielLang.me :)

[rickhorrow]

Reinventing The Square...For Super Bowl engagement.

by Tanner Simkins

Next Sunday millions of consumers will be playing and watching their “squares.” Whether it is in a charity pool, with friends or in a larger cash play, people will wait for their randomly chosen numbers to come up at the end of a quarter, game, or in other more creative points during the Super Bowl. You have your numbers and you wait.

Well several companies in the digital space have looked to change that decades old model by finding new ways to use the squares concept. The best of which may be Super Squares,a live mobile game show as part of a free-to-play app that combines the score matching elements of squares, with prediction and ad gamification, to provide a unique game show element that attracts casual and avid sports fans alike. The app has already awarded over $300,000 to more than 3,000 players, and the Guiness World Record attempt will be the first time the entire nation will converge in a national tournament around the Super Bowl.

Players compete while watching live sports and are prompted to rate each in-app mobile TV commercial and then answer questions about them and are rewarded for being correct. This provides instant ad sentiment while verifying attention and ad recall, removing all the guesswork brands have about the delivery and effectiveness of their ads. Oh, and your numbers can change each quarter, so engagement is really high.

The app is the creation of serial entrepreneur Frank Maggio, the CEO of React LLC an experiential advertising technology and entertainment company that thinks of “advertising as a sport™.” He is in the venture with some household names turned digital entrepreneurs, former NFL’ers Matt Birk and Mike Golic, with the goal of changing the predictive gaming model and the advertising model for fans.

We asked Frank to give us the how and why for Super Squares as it gets its first big run at Super Bowl.

There are so many apps trying to catch the fans attention for Super Bowl. Why is your free to play game the one they should use?

Ours is the only Squares app that gives you something to do after kickoff.

It has the highest prize pool ($2.4 MILLION) of any app in the world.

It’s free, but over $200,000 in guaranteed prizes (including matching Buddy prizes).

We’ll have between 55 and 110 winners.

AND – our app lets you play squares more than just once a year.

How did the relationship with Matt Birk, an entrepreneurial former NFL player and Harvard alum, come together and what is Matt's role in the company?

Matt met us through Tim Sabean, a well-known radio exec and investor and officer with React. Matt has eSports and entrepreneurial background as well as a deep understanding of football and fans, having spent 15 years playing football and winning a Super Bowl with the Raven in 2012. After playing the game and understanding its impact on brands, sports and fans, Matt became our “Commissioner” as well as a lead investor.  He’s an amazing ambassador of our brand and business model, and has recognized that we have multiple channels to conquer. He’s up for the task.

Can you lay out the broader plan for Super Squares? Are there applications beyond Super Bowl or even NFL, that fans will see?

Super Squares for NFL football started last fall and will return for ALL games in September (we only supported night games and 3-4 Sunday afternoon games in our first season).  This fall we will be adding Twitch watch parties in key football markets and will support regional sponsors, while adding NCAA Football support in high viewership college markets.  Version for XFL, rugby, and CFL are also under consideration.  We are completing versions for hockey and NASCAR starting in February, with basketball, baseball, soccer, golf and cricket on the drawing board.  Finally, a pay-to-play version suitable for gaming outlets and casinos begins development this spring, and is expected to be out in time for the 2021 NFL Season.

How do the lessons you learned in previous gaming success fit into the business plan with this launch?

My first (and only) job working for someone else out of college was with Procter & Gamble, the world’s largest advertiser. My “gaming success” came from a 1985 scratch game contest tied to advertising and Monday Night Football, which I was able to crack and turn in over $21 million in winning tickets.  The CBS News story explaining it can be found at www.1985video.com.  This gave me the idea that advertising as a sport – adrenalizing ads especially in sporting events in order to capture attention and build on the competitive nature of sports fans – ultimately led to filing dozens of patents around reactive advertising, media measurement, squares contests, and gaming.  Super Squares is our first product to combine reactive advertising with Prediction and Squares, but a pure gaming version (with advertising optional or removed) will be launching soon.  We also have applications for radio, streaming, home shopping, ecommerce and reality TV formats.

You are just starting the consumer business, what is the value for a brand coming on now vs playing with a media company like Yahoo or Fox that has massive engagement right now?

Let’s define engagement and accurate measurement – because mass media channels actually have little of either.  Most mass media ads are interruptive and distractive, they are served primarily to anonymous people, and end up being measured using Clinton-era technologies that rely on unreliable and fatally flawed panels.  Plus – there is no proof of ad viewership, no proof of attention, message comprehension or attention, and no sentiment shared by the consumer.

In our application, 100% of the commercials are fully viewed by 100% of the fully registered and demographically measured audience, all of whom receive and watch the ad to 100% completion, share their sentiment about the ad, and then answer a branded question about the commercial proving comprehension and attention. In other words, we deliver 100% of the audience 100% of the time, and the brand gets to drill down on every view by every viewer – or they pay nothing.  We do this without sharing any PII at all – it’s a census-level focus group but protects every user’s personal data.

The most successful free to play platforms are partnered with media companies that can give them scale. Is that a plan you will have or does the business model work for you as a stand alone business?

The key driver for our free-to-play model is that we feature premium ads and then rev share with the fans.  We expect to give away over $5 million to fans in 2021 and over $20 million in 2022 – more than all other media-sponsored games combined.  The nature of our business model (rev share with a growing audience) means the more that play, the more we are paid, and the more we in turn award as prizes. In the end, we betting that paying consumers directly for their willful and excited attention will pay off more than paying a media company to target, track and ambush our players with distractive and interruptive ads…

Our incremental growth will come from 3 strategic channels:

We have added a real-time quiz engine that rewards live viewing of sport on TV, radio, etc. and will roll this out this summer. This can be used by partner media companies to incentivize live and continued viewing without channel surfing.  Plus it provides sentiment and media measurement of their programs and their ads.

We will expand into other sports and even video games, all agnostic to channels.  Fox and NBC only cover their games and sports they cover, so building a habit around remembering to use their apps is problematic.  Super Squares works with all games we support, regardless of sport or TV network.  We’re focused on making Predicter Squares games (like Super Squares) the new game day ritual.

Like Super Six (FoxBets) or NBC Predicter app (driving users to William Hill or others), we will have a gaming channel, but like our app, agnostic to casino or gaming company.  Wagering versions of Predicter Squares will allow pay-to-play versions which can be licensed by myriad gaming partners for use in states and markets that allow prop bets, DFS, and the like. We will license this patent-protected gaming product to partners.

Many developers have found more value in white labelling games vs trying to cut through the direct to consumer clutter. Will you look to go the white label route with your technology?

We have a white label strategy – the challenge will be incorporating our solution (a landscape app built on Unity) into traditional apps built on other code bases.  We can work outside of Unity but development time will lag and we believe there are enough apps (and a web-app version) to keep us busy working with teams and networks that want to offer our fan engagement platform to their season-ticket holders, fans and sponsors. Particularly with empty stadiums, teams need to provide their venue-based sponsors with a way to reach missing fans – at home and away.  We do that.

We will always have the main Super Squares app as the place to play ALL games because it just won’t be intuitive to a player to open, say, the Minnesota Vikings app to play a hockey game for the Wild (and vice versa). But the white label, team in-app version could offer better or special prizes.  And our live-game quiz and survey tool is a natural add-on for RSN’s and team-based apps.  Bottom line, we expect to have both.

If all goes the way you foresee, with the platform and with the technology, where do you see this business in terms of size being at next year's Super Bowl?

We grew our user base, essentially in partnership with one daily sports show (Paul Allen at KFAN in Minneapolis/St. Paul), to over 10,000 in about 90 days, and in the last 4 weeks have seen an 80% increase in members through stealthy social media and heartfelt testimonial support by Mike Golic and Matt Birk, who truly LOVE and PLAY the game. The SkyBox feature provides everybody in the country to put away the paper squares, and ALSO play against their friends with Super Squares - this is the first time we are testing it.  We will learn from this – and will establish a Guinness World Record this year, that we hope to exceed by 50-fold next year.  By way of comparison, with 1.4 million people playing Fox’s Super 6, and only 1 player winning $1,000 often, we expect that when we give away 56 brand new cars next year, you’ve got to think we’ll exceed Fox’s user base times a multiple.  While the record attempt has to exceed 10,000, my goal is to exceed the number of people actually AT the Super Bowl this year. Let’s see!

[tempestshakes01]

8/8/20

oh no.

i’ve had another dream where a man tries to kiss me despite having a partner. what is my subconscious trying to say?

last time it was br*d from b/a (but in the dream I was also Claire? I think.)

this time I was at a climbing gym (it smelled and vaguely looked like the old Y I used to go to for gymnastics...yellow lighting, pinesol scent, echo-y) and we were climbing for the first time in forever. alex was in the dream. anyway, we came upon a group and it turned out to be the bould/ering b/obat boys just goofing around with some locals. they were helping out and teaching as well. 

anyway, alex got in on it cause it was vert and i nervously wandered away to find an overhand or an easier slab, and to get away from people who might watch me climb. 

so then the evening is coming to a close and i make my way to the set the boys were teaching alex and locals. it was a red v2, lol. no one is around. i touch it, and suddenly jake (from bb) comes up behind me and encourages me to try it out. i do. he’s a very nice and patient coach cause i keep placing my feet wrong (my issue irl), but i correct myself quickly and it’s actually a really easy problem. i jump down and jake claps, kindly excited for me, and then...

...this is where my memory gets fuzzy, but basically all I remember is *snap* he’s into me and I know it, and i’m obviously into him, and he goes to kiss, but i turn away like, no, no, you have di who is on the other side of this wall. and he’s like, we’re poly. and i tell him i have to hear that from her first. he agrees and we walk off. the end. 

lmao.

and then still in ~dream state~ i’m like, damn another dream where someone almost cheats with me? what does that mean? 

that’s a rhetorical question, ofc, because even a ninny like me can tell that’s a can of worms i don’t want to open without a licensed professional on call. 

p.s. i am back to hating **** and no i will not elaborate.

p.p.s. i said i’d elaborate about jdemps looking like my dad if you lose your glasses, get lemon in your eye, and you squint, but i don’t think i will--mostly cause i want to forget i even i had that notion. 

p.p.p.s. i think a lot of people look alike when they don’t now that i think about it. i’m that one person that sees a someone’s new wedding photos on facebook or whatever, and my first thought maybe 75% of the time is...wow, they look like siblings. 

no lie. 

i’d post some examples but i won’t invade people’s privacy like that or embarrass them when i am proven RIGHT and they DO look like they married their sibling. it truly creeps me out, but i think i’ve read that people are attracted to faces that look like theirs? 

i mean:

which is a quote from an article called:

anyway, i know i’m very in love with long faces/jaws because my own long face. i hate how it’s becoming more crooked though. trying to embrace, but i’m like 🥴. literally. if i were a man i could pull it off a la rya/n gos/ling, but as a woman...🥴. 

--

what else...

started a new job. like a very serious job with a good (enough) salary and it’s sort of in my field. i don’t want to say what it is and i will continue to keep it vague even if i write a blog post to rant--mainly because of legal reasons and staying ethical, or whatever. plus, i feel like i’m in enemy territory and i don’t know how i’ll stomach some of the choices i’ll have to make. 

ugh.

i’m getting very nervous. but i’m excited about how it’ll test my skills in a lot of areas and i think it’s a great opportunity to learn and grow. originally i put a 3 year goal on this job (out by the time i’m about 30 and go to grad school), but i might drop that to 1.5 years, lmao. depend on if i like it. i just...can’t give myself to things i’m not 100% about, ya know. 

it’s why i left sp/okane. 

i really liked it and last summer was such a lovely time with L and N being in my life and climbing and just hanging with M and the fam, but times were going to start changin’, and i didn’t feel tethered to that place anymore. i felt like i had learned and earned my growth. 

i also felt like i had things to do and fix with my family here in san an, but i’ve come to figure out that while i may love them...i can’t “fix” the things that i thought i could. overall, the greatest surprise is the love and warmth i feel for my dad that i haven’t felt in years, and just the ease i feel when i’m around him. 

for YEARS i felt on edge when i was in a room with him--for reasons i didn’t even know!!! all i knew was that he hurt my mom and broke my family...but honestly, the whole story is probably kinder to his side of things because my mom...god love her, but she’s. she’s...prideful and stubborn, i guess is one way to put it. which is why our relationship is not the same and why she keeps hurting me with her words and perception of me.  

the kids are teens now and...with that comes all the moody new qualities of teens, lol, so they’re not as keen to hang out with their weird auntie anymore, but i’ve discovered new love for hanging out with my big sis, and i love that for us. 

anyway, back to this new job. yeah. i just can’t fathom sticking to something i’m not all about--which might be unhealthy, lmao. at some point i’m going to have to “settle” into something. a job. a relationship. a city. maybe? or maybe not. maybe i can continue to flutter around and get what i want to get out of things and move on. i dunno. i just dunno. 

tbh, i’m done with san an. i thought i’d stay at least until the kids are out of high school, teach resource, and figure out what path i wanted to go down for grad school in the meantime, but this job was me grasping at this life here. like, i love living my brother, but he’s only here for another year. i’ll probably find a place with alex next year (that was an option this year and we looked for a bit) and i love getting to have her as a best friend. i love having lilz close by (even if i haven’t seen her in months!). 

but, nothing feels right, and i knew that when i started getting serious about this job and knowing this is a multi-year commitment, and again, this is an invaluable experience for all the different avenues i debate between (career wise) and it’s a step in the right direction...especially with schools down and i can’t go back to subbing until i find the campus/open position i like. there’s no guarantee with the pandemic. that being said, if a vaccine is quickly available and schools open up safely and things go back to normal...maybe i’d switch back...but tbh, i don’t think it looks good moving around so much.

this year (job wise) looks terrible on paper because i didn’t spend more than three months at any job, lol--though to be fair, i was committing myself to subbing before the pandemic hit. went on spring break though...and we never came back. 

i’m not trying to talk myself out of committing to this job and what it entails (despite...again...it being an utterly sober position) but this is just what i feel. 

it’s funny to see half my peers settle down with a career and marriage and babies, but i also love that i see plenty of people more on my side of the scale, and mostly i see people in between. i get the vibe that we’re, as a whole, more accepting of alternative lifestyles and crossing social barriers and being friends with people outside of our own norms. like, it’s not sad that some people don’t want kids! 

(actually, i’ve been thinking about that the older i get and i get really lonely thinking about how it’s kind of a small island to be one the people who don’t want bio kids, but *do* want to foster and adopt children--and it’s not a medical reason. it makes me lean toward wanting to find a female partner vs a man because i read and hear so much toxic shit from men about wanting their kids to come from their own seed, lmao. and i just don’t relate to child-free folks. i want kids! i just don’t want to birth them! like, at all! lol. i remember alex saying how every time she sleeps with a man, she imagines what their hypothetical baby would look like, and i just could not relate. i mean, i’ve only had 3 partners, but not once did that ever come up in my thoughts...except to think, if i get pregnant, i’m abor/ting.) 

i’d also be cool running a foster home for dogs (any kind! medically recovering, disabled, senior!). it’s what i dreamed about as a kid (lol on a ranch in seattle after retiring from the wnba). 

anyway, lil cup of joe has worm butt again :/ tapeworms so he’s going to get some meds on monday and get updated on shots as well. i love him so much. i cry thinking about him leaving me, but he’s a small dog so he probably has like 17 more years in him and THAT makes me cry because i’ll be in my 40s and he’ll be an old man and still my sweetest bean. 

--

oh

no

i’m putting in the comparison photos:

i said if you squint!!! rub a lil salt in your eye and then you will See what i mean. 

[dippedanddripped]

Kaleidoscopic London-based menswear labelAhluwalia Studio wants consumers and fashion industry leaders to rethink the way they purchase and discard clothing. Founder Priya Ahluwalia has a point — with nearly three-fifths of all fashion ending up in incinerators or landfills within a year of production, our unsustainable consumption patterns are in desperate need of disruption. Thankfully, consumers are increasingly demanding that brands act more responsibly, and Ahluwalia is leading the charge, one upcycled garment at a time.

Mass consumerism has reached an all-time high. Between 2000 and 2014, global clothing production doubled, with the number of items purchased each year increasing by 60 percent according to a report by management consultancy McKinsey & Company. Fashion has become disposable and a rise in consumer spending, clothing becoming more affordable, and operations being more efficient are all to blame.

There’s an ugly truth in the fashion industry: consumers discard clothing after just seven or eight wears. Fast fashion companies in particular are taking advantage of that fact by churning out up to 25 collections per year. Luxury houses, too, have upped their production cycles as lead times have shortened.

But change is afoot. While excessive consumption is an ongoing cultural issue and consumers remain largely disconnected from the negative effects their buying habits have on the environment, a new generation of shoppers is increasingly urging companies to be more transparent about who makes their clothing and how it is made.

Brands wanting to connect with Gen Z and millennials need to align themselves with the values of their clientele and find sustainable, even circular, solutions to reduce their carbon footprint across the supply chain. The most successful companies of the future will be driven by purpose, not just growing profit margins.

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Smaller brands might not have the same scale of impact as multi-billion-dollar businesses, but they can certainly set the right example for generations to come. Among the flock of fashion startups putting sustainability at their core — without making it the centerpiece of their brand marketing — is Ahluwalia Studio, founded by Priya Ahluwalia, winner of the H&M Design Award 2019.

Born in the UK to Indian and Nigerian parents, Ahluwalia had just one goal growing up in Southwest London. “I’ve wanted to do fashion for as long as I can remember,” she recalls. “I’ve always been very academic, getting straight As, so my parents were hoping I would become a doctor or something. My mom told me that if I was going to get into fashion, I had to be the best at it and work my ass off.”

Obtaining her BA at the University for the Creative Arts in Epsom, she did a stint at IVY PARK — the activewear brand co-founded by Beyoncé — where she was among the first six employees. “Within six weeks, there were 30 of us,” says Ahluwalia, who within a year had moved to Wales Bonner, where she learned the importance of protecting your brand identity.

“Grace [Wales Bonner] really showed me how amazing it is to develop a world for your clothes to live in,” Ahluwalia explains. “What’s so good about her is that you could spot a Wales Bonner man walking down the street even if he wasn’t in her clothes.”

After a year, Ahluwalia enrolled in the University of Westminster’s prestigious MA Menswear course. The school’s alumni include Vivienne Westwood, Christopher Bailey, and Coach’s Stuart Vevers. Course tutors regularly challenged Ahluwalia and her peers to come up with inventive ways to tackle fashion’s sustainability conundrum.

She was confronted with big piles of surplus garments during a visit to her father in Lagos, Nigeria. A later trip to Panipat, India — known as the global recycling capital of secondhand clothing — with her grandmother added to her revulsion at the industry’s excessive waste.

“It was mad,” she says. “Bear in mind that one of the [recycling] companies I visited said they were only at 30 percent capacity and that was just one of 500 companies in Panipat.” Ahluwalia documented her journeys in a photo-book titled Sweet Lassi. “This factory in particular recycles old clothing into new yarn and relief blankets. If it wasn’t for places like this, it would be even more horrendous.”

As well as inspiring the book, her experiences became the main point of reference for Ahluwalia’s Spring/Summer 2019 graduate collection. Her work includes patchwork trench coats, oversized denim jackets, and vintage football jerseys, an homage to the designer’s love of the sport that includes beading developed with Indian women’s union SEWA Delhi, which supports artisans and textile workers.

All items were produced using secondhand clothing donated to Ahluwalia or found in charity shops. It’s her way of contributing to a new, socially responsible fashion ecosystem that is as environmentally conscious as it is business-driven. We spoke to Ahluwalia to get her thoughts on how fashion can change and what inspires her work.

When did you start thinking about sustainable fashion?

I’m Indian and Nigerian, so it’s already in my DNA to not be wasteful — ask anyone from those cultures. You use every last bit of everything.

[However], it was during a project in my first year at Westminster. We got an online design project about working internationally. The brief was about the world in 2043 and it stated the world was almost in a post-apocalyptic state. It made me really think about how I would design if the world’s resources were depleted and certain trades were being wiped out. It made me think about using waste and working with communities and their traditional local textile trades.

In a micro-scale, you already see it happening in some places. But it’s not booming like it could be because with globalization you can get everything cheaper somewhere else.

What made you go to the University of Westminster? What did you learn there?

I sort of knew that in fashion design you always did better if you had done a masters, and me living in London with my mom put me in a position where I didn’t have to pay for loads of outgoings, so I took the chance while I had the opportunity.

My classmates were great. It was a very international course — people from New Zealand, Australia, China, Hong Kong, Denmark, Ireland, everywhere. We really bonded and learned from each other. The teachers were great as well. We had Simon Foxton, Charles Jeffrey, Eugene Reeder from Neil Barrett.

Loads of people who finish the BA go on to work for [companies like] Louis Vuitton, Dior, and KENZO. It’s a really good school to teach you to actually work, as well as being concept-led.

What do you think is the biggest threat currently facing the fashion industry?

It’s people’s insatiable need for something new all the time. Everyone’s always looking for the next thing instead of enjoying the current thing. This means things get thrown away and people’s work gets copied.

The speed is what’s bad in a lot of ways. You can work your ass off for a collection and then six weeks later it’s in ZARA. That’s not good for anyone or for the planet. It creates a culture where people think they can’t wear something again. That needs to slow down and change.

Yet things are so expensive because of the wholesale model. You pay for your fabrics, that goes times two, then that goes times 2.8 when it goes through the stores. The price goes up so high. And then I know people ask why things are so expensive, but if everyone’s paid fairly along the way and you’re getting good materials, it does end up like that.

Are consumers or the companies producing fashion driving that speed? And who’s ultimately responsible?

I think everyone is responsible on some level. Big fashion businesses are responsible for the constant advertising and slashing of prices, which encourage people to buy things they never even thought they wanted. For example, Black Friday sales get people buying three pairs of trainers just because they can. What they’ve done marketing-wise is something to be admired, but the fallout isn’t so great and the big companies need to be on the right side of history.

I also think consumers are responsible because I know it’s easy to turn a blind eye, but if you do that, you’re culpable. When someone buys something for £5, you must not have thought about how the fabric got spun, cut and dyed, and who designed it, who sewed it, and who shipped it, all for £5. It’s easy to get caught up in buying a bargain because it feels good, rather than thinking about the implications of the purchase.

[Today], if you don’t have something to wear, you can get it on the same day. That’s absolutely mad. If you want something that’s so easy to get, you don’t even think about it. The gratification is so fast. It’s easy not to think about people as people when they’re far away, but being fair to people is something the fashion industry could do with.

Sixty-six percent of consumers are willing to spend more on brands that are sustainable, but then they don’t shop this way. The deciding factors are still price and product availability. What is driving this gap?

I do agree that the accessibility of sustainability isn’t good. I know that I’m working on a collection that’s made responsibly and I’m using waste, but it can be off-putting to people because sustainability doesn’t have a good rep aesthetically and it means different things to different people.

From a designer’s point of view, it’s costly to produce products with an aim to be sustainable. The fabrics, components, and production methods cost more, and all of this needs to be passed on to the consumer through prices. I think the expensive price tag can put people off. But such spending should be thought about deeply and seen as an investment.

Luxury fashion brands are now speeding up their delivery cycles and increasingly adopting the drop system popularized by streetwear brands and fast fashion. How sustainable is that?

It seems the opposite. It’s extremely expensive fast fashion. A part of the allure of luxury is the time put into it — you look forward to it.

My friends and I call it “image gang.” Everyone wants to be part of the image gang today. You want to go somewhere to be seen in something. That’s what it’s like with labels and logomania. That kind of stuff can make people buy stuff just for the picture, and then they don’t really care after that. Even though I hate the resell market, at least luxury can be resold, but it’s turning instant gratification with certain brands and it’s turning too fast in a very expensive way.

The press and consumers often like to put labels on young designers. How have you experienced that?

I feel like the word sustainability has been thrust upon me, rather than me saying it. Which is fine, but I feel that if you would be really sustainable, you wouldn’t do anything: just sit in your house, do nothing, grow vegetables, and that’s it. All I can say is that I’m trying my best to work positively and not make my impact on the planet horrendous.

In the past, societal values and company values didn’t mix. Now businesses are forced to take a stance on social and environmental issues or risk losing credibility among the younger demographic.

I definitely think fashion will become more democratic this way. People’s voices will be heard more because they’ve now got a platform to say it. Now if you want to cause a stir, you can do that on the internet. I hope consumers become more enlightened.

But not everyone’s the same. For example, if you look at what happened with Brexit [in the UK], we live in a London bubble and can sometimes think that everyone thinks like this, but do they? So, in comparison, I do hope this drive for sustainability is happening around the country, but I haven’t gone and asked someone in Liverpool or Rochdale. I can’t speak for everyone, but I hope it tremors out and it’s a slow revolution.

When it comes to the big companies, I do believe they’re doing great things. I think [Balenciaga’s] World Food Programme initiative is a great idea and it brings millennials who are concerned about certain things into this other stuff. I do wonder if they’re still overproducing, which is the big problem.

Overproducing has never made sense to me. Surely brands would want to create a limited supply, as that’s what drives scarcity and gives a brand its allure.

Exactly. That would make it more luxurious and things wouldn’t have to go on sale. If you can create a brand that does that, you’ve arguably won. I just don’t get it. If it’s all going on sale, surely it doesn’t make sense to have so much stock.

I feel like the wholesale model might become redundant. In a way, wholesale is good because you sell product to a store so you don’t have stock sitting there. But that’s what really drives up the pricing and stores end up buying too much. But then if I would sell it [directly], I could produce too much. Unless you sell it made-to-order, but you can’t scale that business.

So how do you grow a business that remains appealing to consumers without overproducing?

I source my materials from different places. Most of it’s in the UK and some of it I got in India when I was there. Each piece is unique. Every pair of trousers that gets ordered will be made with the same lines and shapes, but the patches might be different. So if I can’t find enough of a certain fabric, it might be a different fabric or shade. Each piece will be different than anyone else’s — it will be unique to you. Logistically, it’s hard work, but the H&M Prize will really help me with that.

The production is time-consuming, because when someone invests in a made-to-order piece, it’s the only one in the world like it, so I’ll cut the materials only for them and it will make someone keep it forever. That’s something I want to look at as well. I like stories around stuff, and if you can make someone sentimental about something, they’re less likely to throw it away.

When you visited your father in Lagos in 2017, and later went to Panipat, you saw the amount of waste the fashion industry produces. The images you took during these trips became the subject of your book Sweet Lassi. Tell me what you saw.

My dad moved to Nigeria about 10 years ago, so I went to see him with my Jamaican stepdad. I’ve always seen the waste when I travelled, but at the time of this trip I was in the middle of my masters, so I might have had a critical eye.

The traders there are so fashionable. They walked through traffic jams impeccably dressed, but they were wearing weird stuff like community “mud run” T-shirts and I didn’t get where the hell they were getting this. They said there’s this market for secondhand clothing, so I went there.

That’s when I found out that secondhand clothing gets sold and it doesn’t get given. I don’t know what’s worse, as it means the local textile industry suffers. In Lagos and in India there are these traditions of going to your local tailor, but because of this resale, the clothes end up getting dumped and people buy it because it’s cheaper than going to your local tailor.

India has banned the import of resale because it destroys the local industry. So before it crosses the border, it has to be slashed, twisted, or warped in some way. I started photographing it.

To what extent did these trips inspire your debut graduate collection?

In a way, the collection was a regurgitation of everything I’m interested in. When I was in my BA, everyone would put me in a sportswear bracket. But it doesn’t have to be just sportswear, it can be more of a streetwear thing. For the collection, I was thinking about how things can travel around the world and this idea of globalized dressing, while using traditional textile techniques.

It was about looking at what people in these countries were wearing. I saw little kids playing football wearing massive T-shirts like dresses because when secondhand clothing goes to these countries, they’re often too big, as people in the US, UK, and Canada are bigger than them.

So I started playing around with changing the sizes of stuff, making things bigger by putting fabrics from sports jackets in between denim. You would see people in Lagos figuring out ways to change the size of their clothes in interesting ways, as well as customize it.

In both [Nigeria and India], people move very fast. People are always hustling for something and I like that — being in charge of who you are, more than here. People here are more on a rat race from nine to five. I wanted to use that spirit for my graduate collection.

Will that same ethos be the foundation for your Fall/Winter 2019 collection?

Yes. The next collection is a carry-on, as there was so much stuff I didn’t get to explore with this one.

When I was in India, I looked at family photos of my uncle and mom in the 1980s and 1990s. For this collection, I’m looking at these ritualistic ways of passing things on through families. My nan gave me three bangles that she got when she was married at 18. I would never take them off, as they have a lot of meaning. I also have shirts of hers and jumpers from my grandad when he passed away. If you’re going to have things that have that much meaning, it’s a really nice thing.

The context of how one person would have worn something that’s passed on compared with someone else is interesting. I wear my stepdad’s shirts a lot. Obviously he wears them to business meetings. I wear them tied up like a hoochie mama to go clubbing.

What can we learn about changing our consumption habits when it comes to fashion?

I would say take your time with purchasing stuff. You don’t need to feel the pressure to wear something new all the time. I’m not saying don’t buy anything new, but buy your wardrobe really well. My friends and I also swap stuff, for example. Also, question who made your clothes. If you really love something, you’ll keep it. Buy something that you love rather than buying two for £10 because it’s cheap.

How should fashion houses evolve when it comes to their interaction with shoppers?

Luxury needs to stay luxury, but it also needs to become accessible in the right ways. Not accessible because of a sale, but accessible by letting people into their world by showing how it’s created. That’s what gets people really interested.

High-end brands need to remember that people love their products because of the story and the craft behind their brands. These “how it’s made” Dior videos or Burberry’s Makers House, for example, show what happens behind the scenes and make people fall in love with the product.

That’s what people like Charles Jeffrey do so well. He’s great on his Instagram — he asks people questions and talks to them. He becomes accessible, so people then want to become part of that world without negating or lowering any standards. He just opens the doors a little bit. That’s really what high-end brands should concentrate on. Let people in in a way without telling them your secrets.

Who is working the industry in the right way?

I think Stella McCartney does amazingly well. Her label is made responsibly but also beautifully. The desirability is still there while she’s responsible, and you need that desirability to be there if you want people to buy into you. You need to sell a garment, not the idea of a garment just being sustainable.

I also think Martine Rose is phenomenal. I admire people like her. She’s so smart and does things on her own terms. She’s not a slave to the system. The fact that she sold her Nike collaboration on Craigslist is amazing. She’s genius and makes everyone so excited about her and her world.

Can fashion ever reach a place where its operations are fully sustainable?

No, that’s utopian nonsense. Because of the internet, people can read up on things — you can’t just feed them shit and think they’ll believe it. Just look at this plastic straw debate. Everyone is against it because people on Instagram and Twitter went crazy about it. People will become more educated and push for change. We will never be fully sustainable, but we’ll get better.

[juliebutcher]

I recently had the honor to write an update on Glendale’s plans for repowering its ancient Grayson power plant and the community’s response and fight to make sure it’s California’s last gas plant.

Read my local reporting in the Crescenta Valley Weekly ~ the Grayson story here: Insights Offered at Grayson Tour and check out my cool tour pictures below! (I could listen to people talk about their work all day!) (See the pink donut box?)

Insights Offered at Grayson Tour

The plan for repowering Glendale’s Grayson power plant to be presented by Glendale Water & Power (GWP) to the utility’s citizen commission and the City Council this summer will look considerably different than the plan GWP staff envisioned when first planning for the repowering of the local energy site.

In spring 2017, Dan Brotman, a semi-retired economics professor who says he’s been long involved in advocating for the environment, took note of the City’s plans to repower the Grayson plant using natural gas rather than renewable energy. He wrote an op-ed in April 2017 to make the case against the City’s plan, focusing on both the environmental and financial aspects of his concerns, and then he organized the Glendale Environmental Coalition. By April 2018, more than 500 people protested outside Glendale City Hall, arguably the largest demonstration in Glendale municipal history, and the City Council voted overwhelmingly to pause the proposed repowering project to look at alternatives.

“The environmental arguments are obvious,” Brotman explained. “They were proposing a larger plant than the one they were replacing and, while they may say they’re tripling the energy production but not tripling emissions, the entire process of using gas is environmentally flawed, storing it at Aliso Canyon, methane leaks all along the distribution path; that’s a potent greenhouse gas. Why build another gas plant –  perhaps the state’s last licensed gas plant –  when the City’s needs can be met using renewables? Why wouldn’t we do that first? And why build such a large gas plant, beyond the actual needs of the City?”

Brotman said that when he scoured the City’s reports and documents he discovered that they had plans to sell excess energy generated by the plant.

“They were planning on creating extra pollutants to make money,” he said.

California state law now requires that renewable energy and zero-carbon resources supply 100% of all electricity sold in California by 2045, 60% by 2030 Brotman noted. That means that given that GWP is proposing a 30-year bond to build a plant that would have to be shut down before it is even paid for.

According to its website, the Glendale Environmental Coalition is “a collection of Glendale community members who recognize the Grayson repowering project as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our city to embrace clean power generation and be leaders in reducing our climate impact.” The current goals of the organization are to “make sure GWP gets as many qualifying proposals as possible; match clean energy developers with clean energy hosts; and to identify likely clean energy targets in the area – open space, commercial buildings, building owners interested in clean energy options.”

The Grayson Power Plant is situated in an industrial area of Glendale at 800 Air Way just northeast of the Interstate 5 and Highway 134 interchange. It is named for Loren Grayson, the City’s first chief engineer and general manager. Until 1937, Glendale purchased its electrical power from Pacific Light & Power (now Southern California Edison). In that year, the City agreed to purchase hydro-electric power from the Hoover Dam and also decided to build a city-owned and operated steam-powered plant of its own. The first unit – a steam boiler – began generating electricity in 1941.

Recently students from Pasadena’s Sequoyah School’s Social Innovations Program and Clark Magnet High School’s environmental club traveled to Grayson as part of a field trip.

“Welcome to our power plant museum,” said GWP General Manager Steve Zurn.

Zurn has worked for the City of Glendale for 31 years, most of that in the Department of Public Works where he was director from 2003 until he was appointed GWP general manager in 2013.

Students from the Sequoyah School have been studying renewable energy and many said they feel fortunate that the debate about the future of Grayson happened in their backyard. Suggesting that both the utility and the community organizations advocating for cleaner solutions could all do a “better job communicating,” the students said they remain “optimistic in human decency.”

“They want what’s best for the community,” one of the youths commented about the motivation of the staff of the city’s utility. “Their job is to help because they care, not for the money.”

GWP issued its Clean Energy Request for Proposals (RFPs), a public request for bids, ideas, and proposals for ways to meet the City’s energy demands, after the Council vote last year. The staff is in the process of finalizing “the results to ensure what is the best option for City of Glendale and its residents.” The results from the RFPs will be presented to City Council in late July along with GWP’s Integrated Resources Plan (IRP).

The IRP is a document that provides a road map for meeting GWP’s objective of providing reliable and cost-effective electric service to all of its customers. Staff will be presenting a number of options for City Council to consider; these options will include a combination of resources in various amounts: thermal generation, solar, Distributed Energy Resources (DERs), increased energy efficiencies, and battery storage at Grayson.

“We’re planning for an astronomically large battery,” boasted Mark Young, Glendale’s Integrated Resources planning administrator and Grayson project lead.

Because the peak demand for electricity happens at night and because there are only 33,000 individual houses in Glendale, GWP staff is planning to include a proposal for a virtual power plant to harness the power of the estimated 15 MW of power currently coming from rooftop solar across the City.

GWP’s current plans are described in detail on its Grayson project website:

“We can’t be a utility and not be able to plan for every eventuality. Bottom line, it’s better to have it and not need it,” Young said emphasizing the need for the City’s utility to prepare for “the worst-case scenario.”

“During the Northridge Earthquake [Young laughed when he noticed that none of the students he was addressing was alive on Jan. 17, 1994], Glendale had full power in 90 minutes because of this plant here. We’re very proud of that.”

Plant worker Matt Williams explained the rigorous environmental standards to which the existing plant is subjected.

“We get a smog check every minute,” he said adding, “and you know when you’re seeing white smoke coming out of the plant? That’s mist, not pollution.”

Brotman and his organization continue to question the plan to generate as much as 100MW still utilizing gas as well as the engagement and outreach of the City in its clean energy RFP process.

“We wanted to work with them to make it more successful,” Brotman said of the bid process, “but we did encourage some companies to participate.”

Brotman added that if the City of Los Angeles could help, even just for the next five or 10 years, Glendale would not need to repower any of the thermal energy units in the new plant.

“You’d think they’d want to do everything they could before they buy any gas,” he said.

The City of Los Angeles has canceled its plans for three gas-powered plants. Brotman believes the City of Glendale’s commitment to clean and renewable energy is compromised by its business interests. He said, for instance, that GWP fails to encourage wider use of solar energy because “it competes with the City.”

The utility currently offers incentives for the installation of rooftop solar panels.

“We have to plan for the worst and to continuously provide power, no matter what,” said Lyova “Leo” Zalyan. “We work closely with LADWP and with the City of Los Angeles all the time. We have a good working relationship with them, but the fact is that they’re facing the same issues. By 2029 they need to find 1600 more MWs themselves. We need to have reliable power, whether it’s sunny or it’s dark. That’s what it means to be a public utility.”

Zalyan outlined the current plans as Option E: 100 MWs from natural gas, 40MWs from DR’s (solar/clean energy); 75MWs from the big (big) battery (“more of a battery building”). GWP currently gets approximately 12MWs from nuclear power – it comes from Arizona with no carbon footprint but with liability and risk and 12-15MWs of hydroelectrical power from the Hoover Dam.

Compared to its neighbors, Glendale is greener with GWP’s “energy portfolio consistently ranked first in carbon-free ratings among its regional peers.”

Glendale is reportedly at 57% clean and renewable, better than LA, Pasadena, or Burbank.

Source: Glendale Water & Power

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California’s last gas? I recently had the honor to write an update on Glendale's plans for repowering its ancient Grayson power plant and the community's response and fight to make sure it's California's last gas plant.

[willownicole]

Staying Focused on What Motivates You

This week I’ve decided to do another blog post for my journal entry because I’ve actually talked a lot of motivation in the past on here. Basically, it is really hard for me to find ways to stay motivated when I’m over something. If you’ve read any of my much much older blogs you’ll remember I did a series of posters around my house with “I am” statements on them. Which was great, but not exactly the most helpful. Eventually they just felt annoying and in the way. Constant reminders of not living up to my dreams. Plus, they added clutter to my already cluttered, tiny house. This taught me that a vision board or an outside motivation technique was not going to work.

Now, I’ve also tried publicly holding myself accountable, like with Nanowrimo or making facebook posts about how my progress is and helping others keep me going. This also was not successful at all. Which leaves me left to what have I accomplished that I struggled through? How did I do it??

Massage school. Some of you were around for that. It was exhausting and hard and I did contemplate giving up a few times. So, how did I stay motivated? I focused on the end goal. I kept thinking about what it would mean to finish. How I could use my certificate to help people. What I was going to do when I graduated and got licensed. That is what motivates me. Getting to the end. To help me stay motivated through school I’m going to make sure I keep in mind what my plan is. How am I going to use this degree? What kind of difference is this going to make for other people? How are you going to be able to help people? The other way to stay motivated during this is to keep staying informed about the funeral industry and what I’m getting into. By continuing to read books, watch videos, and listen to talks I get to stay immersed in my new career path. I can start making a difference NOW, and not have to wait until the end. By starting the work now, I will be more motivated to finish the education that will make my work more knowledgeable.

I’ve listed some of the motivations I will include to keep me going. How, what, why am I doing this? But I do expect they will change as I learn. Already I’ve moved from pre-death work to thinking more about working in or owning my own funeral home. But the important thing to remember as the motivations change is the overarching theme is still the same. Helping people with death. Making sure I keep that the headline of this journey will keep the other motivations in line. By focusing on what I want to achieve, I am focusing on my intrinsic motivations, which I’ve learned in the past are the best way for me to stay on target. Helping people is incredibly important to me and brings me a great deal of peace and satisfaction in my life. But also I am focusing on other people and what they need from me. Is focusing on their needs an extrinsic factor or is so tightly wound in with my own needs that it’s intrinsic? I guess it could be both? Sometimes it’s easier to focus on what I’ll be doing for others more than what I’m doing for me. Helping “my” kids grow, helping people find peace in death, these are motivators of how what I’m doing affects others, but I am so passionate about these things that I still feel like they are intrinsic motivations.

Now we are a whole month into school and I’m dealing with a new round of depression, a heavy work load, driving, balancing my school work and relaxation work, and all of the driving. So far I am really proud to say I haven’t really had to buckle down and focus on my motivations, but I know that time will come. Next quarter I’m planning on taking all online classes, and while I won’t to deal with driving, I will have to focus even more on my timing and homework. In spring the weather starts to get nicer and it’s harder to focus on school when I want to go outside and garden or spend time with my friends. And then the year starts over again after a summer off. Things are going to drag on. They’re going to get hard. There are going to be classes I really (really really) don’t want to take, so keeping in mind the purpose of those classes and how they fit into the whole theme is going to be incredibly important and helpful. I’ll have to remind myself I’ve done it before and i will do it again. I’ll have to be patient with myself and really be my own best cheerleader. I know that the next 4 or 5 years are going to feel like forever, but I’m also sure they’ll be over before I know it if I can just stay on track.

[colorfulsuitdestiny-blog]

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My cousin lives in Luton and I live in London so can I get car insurance with his name as first driver and me as second driver? Also how will it work because we're going to have different addresses? How will road tax and permit work? My cousin is 21 years old and I'm 18.

Where do you get long term health care insurance quotes?

Where do people get long term care health insurance quotes? I've come across many websites but was wondering if anyone has had any particularly good experiences. I did come across http://www.ltcconnects.com which appears to compare various health care providers.

Auto insurance on new car?

I am getting a new car under my name. Is it ok to put the car under my sisters insurance?? Its too expensive if im on the insurance.

Car Insurance company asking for dependent's SSN.?

She doesn't have one as she is on H4 visa. she has ITIN. We are in Texas. Is there any way out for this? My wife doesn't drive and is not listed as a driver on the insurance.

""I need individual health insurance, im 16?""

Hello everyone, im looking for individual health insurance. I am 16 needing surgery on my right knee which has a Torn Miniscus. i need it immediately with a decent pay rate. Thanks in advance""

""With such huge car insurance prices, how often do you pay them?""

I was looking online at car insurance and they say the average is 880 but expect anything from 1 to 2 thousand dollars. That's a lot of money!! Do I pay that every month or is it broken down into monthly payments. Or do you just pay upfront all that money. Oh, by the way what would a female driver that has never driven before in her 20s probably have to pay? If you don't know that's okay... I was just wondering about estimates..""

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Are company's allowed to bump up your no claims for you so you get cheaper insurance ?

A family member of mine bought a car last year from a dealership and bought the insurance through them for ease, they hadn't had a car for a few years and so lost there no claims bonus however it would seem that the company put that he had a 5 years no claim bonus on anyway so that he would get his insurance cheaper, is this legal ? Also a year has now passed and so they are looking to get insurance somewhere else because other places offer even cheaper prices, however the insurance company are saying if he moves to another insurer they will say he only has 1 year no claims, but if he stays with them he can keep his 5 years no claims and that seems a little bit shifty to. This isn't really a question but still any input on the matter would be brilliant, thanks.""

Will a citation for rolling through a stop sign raise my insurance?

I live in PA and just got my first ticket. I was driving in my neighborhood and was in a rush and I just rolled through a stop sign. I know it was wrong and stupid of me but I didn't think much of it. I am a teen driver and my insurance is high as it is, will this foolish mistake raise my insurance?""

I cant find cheap car insurance HELP?

im 60+ male i want to buy a car for 900 pounds but the insurance is 500+ ive not got a car yet but will be a small car not for work but for every day and only 13-1400 engine size im in the uk can you advise on cheap car insurance tanks

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

Help me find affordable health insurance in ny state if i am not poverty level?

What are california's car insurance laws?

Im a new driver and was wondering if its a type of insurance i need. I only have Liability on my car nothing else am i ok if i get pulled over and asked for proof of insurance??

How much would it be to have my car repainted the factory color and remove some pretty good scratches/dents?

my car was recently scraped by a post and mccdonalds and put some pretty good sracthes in my car with a good size dent and also completely ruined my running board how much do u think it would cost do have all this fixed at macco or if i claimed it as a hit and run would my insurance cover that and repaint my car or atleast half of it the side that was messed up and have ever thing else fixed

""Does anyone know of a high deductable, low premium health insurance?""

I am looking for a catastrophic insurance policy where I would have a deductable of $10,000... I would pay for office visits and prescriptions.""

How would I get insurance on a car being leased in someone else's name?

My sister and brother in law have the car financed at a bank in a small town. They gave the car to me as long as I made the payments on the car. We don't intend to refinance the car into my name, however how would I be able to obtain auto insurance if my name is not on the original title?""

Car Insurance in a different state?

Hello and thanks for all the answers! I have my car insurance in nyc on my name, I am 22 and its 3200 per year. I have been told that I can somehow have it in another state even though I dont live there. Do I need to open a mailbox there or how does it work? What will hapen if I get a traffic ticket here? Thanks!""

Insurance Fraud?

About a year ago at this time, I was involved in a car accident where I was turning left onto a 2lane road (stop signs, MY turn) and this girl was turning right onto the same road. She tried to beat me and get in my lane. She ran into my car. Long story short, her fault, no questions asked, even says so on the police report. I filed a report and claim with my insurance co. to get $$ to fix my car. I got the $$ and fixed my car. Well, I was trying to chance insurance co. the other day when I found out that apparently this lady called my ins. company claiming to be my 'mom' admitting fault to the accident. I was 19 at the time, and this was at MY college. So now, it's gone on my record as my fault. Now, I just faxed the insurance co. the report, and they are going to investiage because this girl committed serious fraud. What's going to happen from here on out, legal wise and prosecution wise for her?""

Is it legal for a car insurance company to do this?

I was in a no-fault wreck on Christmas Eve(slid into two cars on ice). The damages were about $3500 to my car. A buff job for the first car, and a chrome polish on the bumper of the old truck. They are not worried about making an insurance claim. There are not enough damages. First off, my car is fully insured with Progressive on my mother-in-laws insurance. The car is in mine and my spouse's name. I am not on the insurance because it was not allowing my mother-in-law to add me. It kept giving her an error. She was however able to add my spouse. I received a call on Saturday from a claims specialist. They told me that because I am not on the insurance, they may not cover the repairs. They are looking into whether or not she in fact did try to add me. If they can't find that she did try to add me, they said they will not cover it. Shouldn't they pay for it no matter what. Seeing how the car has comp. and collision? This is the first time I've had to deal with a claim on the insurance, so I really don't know anything about the process. I'm going in blindfolded. Everyone I've talked to has said that it doesn't matter who is driving it, if the car is insured, it's the insurance companies responsibility to cover the costs. It would be no different than you letting your neighbor borrow your car. Am I wrong??? If you have any comments or advice, please help me out. I need something to go off to work with them! Or more like against them. Thank you!""

When does insurance comapanies stop charging outrageous rate for male sports car drivers?

I just turned 24 and am thinking about getting a sports car. I heard the insurance comapany charge outrageous rate for male drivers until certain age. I was wondering what that age is.

Car insurance company gave me money why?

I got into a car accident and filed a injury claim the person behind me rear ended me as has progressive insurance. I met up with their adjuster to discuss feb injury claim. I have insurance so they are refunding my insurance company for my physical therapy. They also gave me a personal check for 750 as a sorry gesture. I have never heard of this? Why would they give me a personal amount of money ??

Does the car appearance affect insurance?

Does the car appearance (good or bad) affect how much we pay for car insurance. I know insurance companies always ask What condition is your car?..any dents, etc does saying its in good condition make the rates go up or down?""

Car insurance? (please i need help)?

well im a full time college student so i can't pay for my car insurance at the moment. whats the requirements for putting myself as a second driver to my parents car? ive had one car accident and been cancelled twice in my own name to 2 different car insurance. (family member passed away and i had to use the cash to go abroad) anyways.. will that effect me to putting me as a second driver to my parents car?? .. (with their name on the car) i mean.. my parents will pay for me so i dont see the problem for me getting rejected by the insurance for my prior non payment cancelation. please and thanks for answering..

How can I find out previous years car insurance providers?

How can I find out who has provided my car insurance for the previous 5 years. I tend to change them regularly, is there anywhere which keeps a record?""

Term Life Insurance Ownership?

My wife and I are in our 40's and 50's. We have created A/B trusts and transferred our assets to them, and expect to have estates that will benefit from the estate tax saving these trusts afford. We recently both purchased $1M 10-year renewable term life insurance policies that we expect to keep for 10 years. We chose not to use life insurance trusts because the purpose of the policies is to replace the lost income of the deceased spouse if one of us dies relatively soon, not to increase our final estate, and the trusts are somewhat costly. We each specified our own trusts as the beneficiaries, because we want the disposition of assets specified there to be used for this money. The trusts provide for the income, and principle if needed, to be paid to the spouse, and for the remainder to be paid to our child at the remaining spouses death. The question of ownership of the policies is less clear. My lawyer says that it doesn't make much difference who owns them, because the value (estate) taxed is only one year's premium, not the $1M. My accountant says that the $1M is taxed, and that each policy should be owned by the other spouse to avoid tax on that amount. A friend said that there's no way to avoid or significantly decrease the tax, so just leave the ownership as is (each spouse owns their own policy). A further fly in the ointment is that the insurance company (Massachusetts SBLI) makes some forms of trust ownership more difficult and costly. I'm confused. What ownership is the best? What is the benefit of that choice? Thanks for your time.""

How much money is aviation insurance for a single engine prop for a student/new pilot?

I am a student starting my private pilots coursework and I am curious as to how much aviation insurance would cost if I buy a plane (4 seat single engine prop) in the next year or so....what would be a normal range in price for standard grade coverage??

Cheapest cars to insure for a teen?

I am saving up for my first car and was wondering what would be some cheap options for insurance. I already know that toyota camry's and ford tauruses are pretty cheap to insure, but I want to know some more cheap-to insure cars were. preferably between 1996 and 2002.""

Cheap car insurance with DUI?

I'm really struggling to pay rent along with everything else, and now I have to pay car insurance or else my registration will be suspended. I can barely afford to buy food with my part time job and school. Is there a really cheap car insurance company that accept DUIs? I don't have bad credit and have ALWAYS paid my bills, I just need something relatively cheap or else I have no idea how I am going to stay under a roof with food. I live in northern California if that matters.""

What cars get low insurance rates?

I am a 16 year old and just planning ahead for when i'm 17 and get my G2. I want to buy my own car...obviously a used one...a very cheap one. I am looking to spend as little money as possible on GAS and INSURANCE. I understand there are possible discounts for good students, or if you take a driving course...but in general, what cars get low insurance?""

A 1994 bmw i518 for an 18 year old car insurance?

How much do you think the insurance will be? thank u!

How much will insurance be for a 16 year old ?!?!?!?

Hello, please answer my question without sarcasm. ok so im 16 and 7 month, just got my license live in New york city, i will be getting a nissan maxima 97-98 a 100% when i can , can someone please tell me the estimate price that it will cost me to get it at 16, or if i wait till 17 even cause my parents say that no way in hell they can add me or let me use a car with their names =[ i have a job and am very dependent on myself , I also have a very high average if that will make insurance cheaper. Please tell me what you think and price ranges per year, and dont show me those websites that i have to fill info in to get a report of price range as i tried a lot and they support me with info at all. thanks!!!""

Can you purchase Life Insurance on someone without their knowledge or approval?

Would not the documents require the Insured's signature? How can someone 'get away' with this? Is it not considered unethical or illegal? 110509 8:42

""Getting my new car, Challenger 2009, any insurance rates?""

How much would the APPROXIMATE insurance rate be on a 2009 Dodge Challenge R/T? I know it won't be low, but it won't be that high since it's an American car....correct? Her is the bad part...My record. 2 Accidents and a stop sign...But i will turn 18 soon if that matters. Car Info (another bad thing) 5.7 Liter V8 Hemi, 375 horses. How much is the Approximate insurance guys, just throw me an estimate.""

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Car insurance at parents address or rented?

I am currently down on a rental property contract at my boyfriends rented house, however he is the head tenant and I am down as being at the property, I still live with my parents and am there half of the time and my drivers license, finance info, bank statements and everything else go there, however I am not sure if I am registered at my parents and boyfriends, which I assume I am because my mum still puts me down on the electoral poll. I plan to use my parents address as my registered address however it asks where the car will be kept overnight, and there is not one set place, if I use my parents the insurance is cheaper and if I use my boyfriends it's 100pound more. Can anyone advise me on what address to do? As I am at both addresses different times of the week. Thanks""

How much is the average insurance cost for a new driver?

Hi in 3 months, my daughter is getting her drivers license. I just want to know the average cost to insure my daughter. I have a great insurance company, but I am sure they would be too expensive for a new driver. My daughter has all A grades in high school, but I dont know any more information that would change the price. We have a Honda Minivan, so she would drive that, not a fancy sports car. Thanks!""

What is the cheapest car insurance in New Jersey?

I hate looking for car insurance and dealing with all the different rates and agents and policies etc. I just want to know what the cheapest car insurance is in New Jersey one that is quick easy and the best for what I am looking for. Help meee

""Have SR-22 insurance, can I switch insurance companies?""

Hi, I've had sr-22 insurance through geico for a little over a year now, however due to recently moving to florida my monthly payments have gone through the roof. Do I have the option of switching to a cheaper insurance company without having to restart the 3 year mandatory holding of the sr-22?""

How can I get an insurance quote?

I don't have my license yet, but I know what car I'll be driving. Is there a way to get a quote before I actually get my license?""

I dont get what to do about car insurance?

Im 16, and ive had my permit since last august, and im gonna go for my license. I lived with my dad, but i have been living with my mom for a while. Im probably going to go on my dads insurance. But, can i drive my moms cars. So my questions are 1. Can I drive my moms cars when if i am on my dads insurance, is there a policy where I can drive other peoples cars? 2. Can I go on my dads insurance if I dont live with him? 3. Im not on any insurance now, I drive with my parents. They are on the insurance and their cars are covered, so do I already have to be covered with just a permit. 4. Im going to use my moms car for the driving test, do I have to be on insurance by then? I know they check for proof of insurance but i dont know if im supposed to be on it. My parents are divorced and I live in illinois and they have different insurance companies.""

What are my health insurance options as a student?

I'm 22 years old and a full-time student at a California State university. Last month and without warning, my dad cut me off of his company's insurance and is refusing to put me back on because he claims we have no relationship and he essentially wanted to be spiteful as he has done since my parents divorced. My question is this: Can he even legally do this? As a full-time student, isn't it my right to be covered by his insurance? I can't get any insurance through my mother as she is unemployed. Because I'm pulling 19 units at school, I can't take on a full-time job to get health insurance. So what are my options? Is there a way to force my dad to put me back under his plan? If not, what should I do? I'm confused and scared because just over a month ago, I had to go to the ER because I broke my nose. Two days later was when my dad cut my insurance. Now I don't even know if that ER visit was covered because he didn't warn me before he cut me off. If someone could please help me figure out what to do in this situation, I would be very grateful!""

Is full comp' car insurance worth having ?

Apart from paying lower premiums and having to pay for repairs to ones own vehicle are there any disadvantages to just having third party fire and theft insurance ? I've had full comp for years, my car (10 years old ) was walloped by an unknown driver reversing in my driveway which caused broken lights and superficial bodywork damage, I've since been told by my insurance company that it's not economically viable to repair it - they would write it off less a 150 excess fee. Apparently, according to my garage this is common practise on any car over five years old. Yet at no time did the insurance company advise me of this so essentially I was paying extra for nothing. So, do you know of any other reason why I should keep the full comp' or just change to third party ?""

What are the minimum liability requirements for auto insurance in Texas?

What are the minimum liability requirements for auto insurance in Texas? I was notified by my insurance agent that there will be a new minimum liability coverage as of April, 1, 2008 here in Texas. Do any of ya'll know the answer to this? I found some info on the internet, but it only talks about the current minimum requirements, not the ones coming up. I also want to know this information so I can know what to expect and see where my insurance pricing/quote will be ranging. (I am a female, 18, and single). I also dont want to get ripped off :o) Any help will be highly appreciated. Thanks.""

Car insurance when i turn 18?

Hi right now im 17 and im about to be 18 in march, im looking to get a car so i can commute back and forth for school and i need help on this car insurance ropes. Im planing on getting a used car for around 3000 maybe a jeep wrangler/loredo or a good nissan or toyota. Ill look into prices and student discounts after i figure this out, am i able to get car insurance under my name when i turn 18? My mom isn't a driver or owns a car this is another reason, so i can drive her around. So ill be doing this on my own, any help or tips? And please nothing that im young or stupid answers im trying to be serious. All help is appreciated, thanks.""

Can i get new york insurance while maintaining a florida tag?

Can I get new York insurance while maintaining a Florida license plate?

Do insurance companies have a specific category for rock crawlers and how much does it cost to insure one?

I want to buy a rock crawler and the only reason I would probably insure it is just so I could drive it on the street ocassionally not as a daily driver that wouldnt be to smart anyway depends though

Cheapest car insurance for young drivers?

i am 20 and my boyfriend is 19 any cheap car insurances known as i am currently paying 1800 for the year on an S reg saxo for us both thanks in advance

What Insurance Agency Will Cover Salvage Rebuilt Cars?

I own a 2001 Ford Focus that I'm just now finding out is a Salvage Rebuild vehicle. I switched from the New York State insurance to Geico because it was cheaper, but Geico doesn't cover salvage rebuilds (I only found out it was a salvage rebuild because it was on my title). I purchased the car from my great-grandmother, who purchased it from a dealership in 2004. According to them, they do not sell salvage rebuild cars, but lo and behold, it is a salvage rebuild (from NJ!). I need an insurance company by the 9th of this month that isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg for a downpayment ($298 for GMAC... eesh). Does anyone know of what insurance agencies DO cover salvage rebuilds and are online?""

How can I find affordable health insurance for self employed?

For just me and him we pay $927 a month! He has no medical conditions. I take 3 medications for depression and anxiety, but its been a lifelong thing, and I require not psychiatrist or anything , like that, just the meds from my family doctor to keep my chemicals level. Can we get assistance, or is there special help for the self employed? I'm 35 and he is 40.""

For Lexus owners: Is it expensive to maintain a Lexus?

Don't bother with saying, If you are thinking about buying a Lexus, you should be able to maintain it. If not, shop for something else. I love the Lexus IS design, both outside and inside. And I'd love to get myself one of these beautiful cars. However, before I take one of these cars in my driveway, I want to make certain I am not making a mistake. These are the questions I want you to answer: 1. I heard the price for one tire is $300... Is this true? If no, how much does one of these tires cost? 2. I heard the price for oil change is $110. If this is not true, how much does it cost you for oil change? 3. I heard if either the front bumper or rear bumper needs replacement, the cost would be $5000. If this is not true, how much do you think a bumper replacement should cost? 4. Although the amount you pay for car insurance is based on your driving history, I heard that the quality of a car does play a major role. I am 27. So, in your opinion, how much do you think I will pay for car insurance for the 06 Lexus IS 250? My driving history has a clean record. I have yet to receive a ticket. 5. What other things I need to know about owning one of these cars? Please answer my question.""

""How much cash on hand is needed after one has rent, utilities, food, gas, car payment and insurance paid?""

How much cash on hand is needed after one has rent, utilities, food, gas, car payment and insurance paid?""

How much would a doctors check up be without insurance?

Please excuse my grammar, but I'm a bit panicky. I need to know the cost of a doctors check up in California for a 21 year old man without insurance. My boyfriend has been having some chest pains, and we think he sprained his wrist. I'm so worried about him. He can't afford insurance at the moment, due to the fact that he can barely pay for his college classes and food. I need an estimate from anyone who has been in a similar situation. Thank you so much in advance!!""

Which is cheapest car insurance in new york?

i want to buy a car but i know the insurance of the car is very expensive. I will like to know if there is a car insurance that i can afford.

Renting a car with no insurance.?

Hello there, I'm over 25 and have a driver's license but I currently don't own a car therefore I do not have car insurance. I know that usualy when you rent a car and you have car insurance, you won't have to pay extra for rental car insurance. How does that work if I don't have insurance right now? Is extra insurance from the rental company expensive? Or would they even let me rent a car (only for a couple of days when I go to my cousin's wedding out of state) if I don't have car insurance? Any insights would help! I would hate to show up and not be able to rent a car and have to call someone to come get me. Thanks!""

Quick question about car insurance?

I've been with a car insurance company for 3 years now and have been lucky enough to not have to file any claims with them, I just had my policy renewed and the premium went up about $100 from the previous year. Prior to this it had always gone down and when I called to ask why it went up they said because of an increase in claims in my area, now I know insurance has many factors such as the area you live in, and even if that is true I feel as if I should call and mention that I've had no claims in my three years with them, no tickets on my record and always pay my 6 month premium at once, would this be a useless attempt at getting them to lower my premium or could this possibly help me? I just don't want to seem like a fool on the phone.""

How much is it to insure a replica car ?

Im looking to buy a replica lamborghini Aventador but was wondering if the insurance would be to high to handle. I live in Ontario, Canada Thanks""

What car is cheap to insure for a first time driver?

im learning to drive and need some help in what car to insure. It has to be fairly big ish because im quite a big person. Any ideas. And if so what insurance companies are good for first time drivers

Do I have to pay more for my 16 yr old to drive?

Do I have to pay for a different auto insurance policy (that costs alot more)here in Oregon to allow my 16 year old son to drive our vehicles? I was told by a former ins agent, this is a scam to get more in premiums, when it is not required by law.""

Why do we need auto insurance?

Why do we need auto insurance?

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Which car = Cheap insurance for young female driver?

I'm female, 20 and live in England. I've been on moneysupermarket, comparethemarket and confused.com but all I seem to get is quotes over 4,000 on car insurance for a KA 1.2!! I haven't bought the car yet, as I think it's wise to check out insurance quotes. I'm not really bothered about the car, aslong as it runs fine.. So which car is best to get insured when your a 20 year old female, newly qualified driver?? thanks p.s. other notes if you need them: I will be driving roughly 5,000 - 6,000 miles a year. The car will be parked on a public road or public car park. I don't really want to spend more than 1,000 on my first car. Only using for social/pleasure""

Maternity Health Insurance?

We live in Santa Clara California; My wife is pregnant with our first child. I am a self employed contractor and she lost her job couple of month ego as a result we lost our health insurance. I am paying $600.00 a month for COBRA and it does not cover all the medical expenses. Any body knows reasonable health insurance that covers maternity expenses.

Family car insurance cheaper?

Hi, my parents currently have car insurance with a bank. they want to include me into the insurance. is there a family insurance bundle that is cheaper than individual car insurance?""

Does anyone know a good AFFORDABLE car insurance provider for someone with a DUI/accident?

I'm in New Jersey if that matters.. thanks!

Insurance cost?

How much, on average, would insurance cost for a 17 year old?""

If you get scissor doors installed on your car does the insurance go up much?

The car is a honda civic 1.6 vtech sport, and im 17...If it does go up, how much roughly.""

What is the best lowest cost insurance for a first time driver?

ok. i just got my learners permit. i had wondered what would be the best car insurance company too look to for getting my actual license. and has the lowest monthly rate, with the best coverage. i will never get a dui since i will never drive drunk. i have never had a ticket, i have excellent credit, i do not own a home so i don't want a insurance bundle, i'm in north carolina, i drive a volvo, i have never had a wreck . so i'm looking to good driving discount minus the privacy invading snap shot from progressive. and no dui discount. and good credit discount. exc anyone know of the best insurance company to look to?""

How much would insurance be for a 2009 camaro for a 16 year old first car?

How much would insurance be for a 2009 camaro for a 16 year old first car?

What exactly does term life insurance mean?

I have been paying in to a Chase Life term insurance policy for $100,000.00 for over 10 years. I have recently received a quote for $250,000.00 term policy for LESS than I am paying for the $100K policy. Do I lose anything by changing companies?""

Texas insurance licensing exam?

I am studying to take the exam and was wondering how close the Unit Tests in the book are to the actual test and how difficult the test is. Thanx.

What type of lawyer do I need to fight a car insurance company?

I was involved in a car accident where the car insurance company for the other person involved is supposed to pay for my car andnhave accepted liability for the accident. But. I haven't received any payment from them. And it's been 4 months! I want to hire a lawyer, just need to know what type do I look for...???? Thanks in advance""

How much do Hyundai Coupe S's cost to insure?

Annual Insurance 2002 worth 600 17 year old male driver

Car insurance helpp!!?

Do you have to be over the age of 21 to be able to drive someone else's car on your own insurance policy, if that car has insurance and your are given permission by the driver. It states on my policy that i can but have herd multiple times that you must be over 21. Im with Co-Op. Thanks.""

How much would my insurance be?

I am 16 and I want to get a car. My parents said they would buy me this car I want but I have ot pay for the insurance. We have allstate. The car is a 1999 ford mustang. Yellow Color V-6 Engine Automatic Transmission 141,207 miles on it 2 drive coup""

Geico Car Insurance?

I have a 2013 Mitsubishi Lancer GT. My mother took the loan out and I was wondering can I get my own insurance (19 years old) and insurance the mitsubishi even though the loan is in her name?

Is it possible to pause a car insurance but resume it again?

I want to know that if I buy car insurance, will I be able to stop the insurance so that I don't have to pay, just temporarily as I might sell my current car and until I get a new car I don't want to be paying without even having a car yet.""

How much would my car insurance cost?

I'm trying to find about how much my car insurance would cost and none of the insurance website would give me a quote for some reason. I'm a 17 year old female who has a 2003 saab 9-5 (4 door) who's never been in an accident and who took drivers ed.

How do I get Cheap Car Insurance?

I am looking at buying a car for the first time in 8 years. So the problem is that I do not have any No Claims Discount for my insurance. Even though I am 40 years old, clean driving license, no convictions etc, I am being quoted over 400 TPF&T for a 1.4L Astra of Golf even with my retired Mum added as a named driver. I am an office worker, single, won't use it for commuting and will do less than 8000 miles a year. It will sit parked on the street for 4 or 5 days of the week. Does anyone have any top tips for reducing car insurance? It seems daft to be paying over 400 to insure a car that costs under 2000 Thanks Paul""

How much will my car insurance go up after this accident!?

How much will my car insurance go up after this accident!? So, I did something stupid. Pulling into a parking spot, I accidently scrapped against another car. I got out of my car and looked at the damage on the other car. Obviously a lot of my paint was on it (On the drivers side, back door) but it looked like under the paint there were just a few very minor scratches and scuffs. NO Dents at all. Of course, I waited outside until she came out. She was very nice. We exchanged insurance information. How much do you think this will cost me? I live in NYS who I guess has a 'no fault' policy. I am 22 and the car is under my moms name, the insurance under my dads, if that means anything.""

After getting a speeding ticket how much does your insurance increase on average?

After getting a speeding ticket how much does your insurance increase on average?

How much does insurance usually pay off if your car is deemed totaled?

Ok, so, my car incurred some damage due to the recent flood waters of hurricane Ike. A person from Safe Auto insurance company is coming out tomorrow to assess the damage. When we spoke to him over the phone, he said it sounded like our car would end up being deemed totaled. There is still amount owed on the car. If we were to pay it off tomorrow it would be $3100. The value on the car varies from tprivate party value in good condition being $3900 to retail value being $5600 in our area. We have a $500 deductible. Now, if the car is infact totaled, how does the insurance pay out?""

How to Improve a Car Insurance Company's Offer?

Someone hits my car while I parked on the street, the lady hits 2 cars. My car value is 11,000 (my car is one way) and the other car value is 2,000. The lady's insurance only cover up to 10,000. So I only can get 84% of the 10,000 (so i got $8461) How I ask for more money?""

Auto insurance is so confusing!! Help?

My husband and I are currently covered at Geico. We pay 1320 for 6 months coverage. We've been with Geico about 5 years and our rates have stayed pretty much the same. I was looking at quotes online and there are significant differences between them all and I am so confused. I have been making sure that I am comparing apples to apples, all the same type coverage. Esurance quotes at $799 per 6 months, Teachers Insurance quotes at $1309 per 12 months, Mercury Insurance at $661 per 6 months, and then 21st century quotes at $1053 per 6 months. Why is there such a big difference between them?? My best bet looks like Mercury or Teachers right now...""

Life and Health Insurance Exam- I have taken it like 5 times and not been able to pass it?

I have been doing this online course license2go.com, and it has a lot of good information but it seems like on the test, there is a lot of stuff I didn't ever see when taking the test. Is there any alternative way to getting a license? Like online? If not, what are some other good ways to study for it? Thanks""

Full coverage quote $650!?!?

I got a quote online from esurance for a 2007 g6. I'm 18 and live in Michigan. I want to finance the car and was just looking at insurance quotes but this seems a little outrageous. Does it sound right to you?

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

Cusseta Alabama Cheap car insurance quotes zip 36852

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-i-get-my-canceled-auto-insurance-policy-same-rates-ryan-burris/"

[geekysweetie]

I Want To Take an Anime and Manga Tour in Japan

OMG… I want to do this. (Maybe Next Year – I don’t have Vacation Time left this year since I will be going to Peru this summer) Their next tour is in just a few weeks, and seems to only happen once a year, in March coinciding with the International Anime Festival AnimeJapan.

https://japandeluxetours.com/japan/group/anime-japan-tours#anime3

Visiting Japan is my life long dream. (sadly, mostly just so I can go shopping for anime, game, and doll stuff lol. Although I do want to do the museums and cherry blossoms and hot springs and other cultural things too – though mostly, I’m just a big geeky nerd who loves anime and wants to go shopping – which is what this whole tour is designed for <3)

Animate – The World’s Largest Anime Store

It’s not that much money (well OK it is, but it’s cheaper than I expected honestly). Guided 6 Day Anime Tour in Japan which includes hotels and Guides through all the “anime” spots in Japan (since I can’t speak Japanese a Guide would be helpful…)

Only $1,500 a person, includes hotels for each day. I’d just have to have airfare, and LOTTTTTTTTSSSSS of money for food and shopping. Like seriously I’d probably want to have another $1,000 with me just for shopping lol. If I buy a dollfie dream or custom volks doll or something that’d eat half that budget right there. Then there’s all kinds of cheap (but cute) dolls / toys / figurines, etc.

I wouldn’t want to go by myself either – I would hope my boyfriend would go with me but if not then I’m pretty sure that I could find a friend or family member to take… If I had to pay for both of us that’s $3,000… The tour includes several meals but I’d need money for more meals (Let’s say $100 a day food budget X 5 days $500) Airfaire is probably close to $1,000 a person too So not counting shopping expenses I’d need $5,500… I want to mainly go shopping so I’d want at least $1,000 for shopping for myself that’s $6,500…. which still… isn’t that bad because of all the things this tour includes.

Studio Ghibli Museum

This tour includes all of the Ghibli and other museums, the largest anime stores, and even admission to an anime convention for one day. OMG and an anime theme park another day… OMG it includes real life mario kart racing too…. omg…

The number 1 place I want to visit actually isn’t on this tour – that place is Doll Point Akihabara – Volks store where you can buy Dollfie Dreams and Asian Balljointed Dolls and Accessories – including some items available only in the store and not sold online.  But that’s OK because the tour gives you free time in the evening and one free day where you’re on your own without a guide.

Doll Point Akihabara

My dream / life goal / bucket list… lol…

Now that I have my passport I can actually do stuff like this O_O!!! Now I just need money (lots of money) (and to wait for my vacation time again lol).

https://japandeluxetours.com/group/tour/anime-japan-tour-6-days-a

Tour Includes

6 DAYS

5 nights accommodation

7 MEALS

5 breakfasts 2 lunches

TRANSPORT

All transport shown

Anime Stores

Details:

4 nights Western hotel

Daily Breakfast-Buffets and 2 Lunches included

All ground transportation in Japan during the tour

Complimentary Airport Transfers (see details)

Admission Fees, Tax & Gratuities at all included Destinations

Full time service of licensed English speaking tour guide & separate bus driver

Japan Deluxe Tours Handbook and Tour Goods Package

Free Wi-Fi in Bus & Most hotels

Doll Stores

Travel Highlights

A day at the AnimeJapan Festival in Tokyo

A walk through the busy Shibuya Crossing

Tokyo’s lively Harajuku and Takeshita Dori

The electronics and anime town of Akihabara

20+ Anime stores at Tokyo Character Street

Admission to J-World Jump Theme Park

The well known Ghibli Museum

Souvenir shopping at Harajuku Kiddy Land

Shopping and trading time at the Pokemon Center

The Gundam Base Tokyo and Lifesize Unicorn Gundam

Not Included – Airfare – Travel Insurance – Optional Excursions

Animate Japan – World’s Largest Anime Store

Itinerary:

Day 1

Tokyo Arrival Arrival* Narita Int’l Airport (NRT) Haneda Int’l Airport (HND) Arrival Transfer Welcome to Japan! We will have transportation services to take you to your hotel. Please refer to your tour handbook for more information. Rest at the hotel and be ready to start your exciting tour tomorrow.

Mirai Store

**INFORMATION** From Narita Airport to downtown hotel in Tokyo – about 90 mins(Bus) From Haneda Airport to downtown hotel in Tokyo – about 30 mins(Bus)

Hearton Hotel Higashi Shinagawa or similar

Day 2 Tokyo | Sushi & Akihabara Morning [ Tokyo ] Asakusa Sensoji Temple Pokemon Center J-World Afternoon Tsukiji Fish Market (Lunch) ( Lunch – Sushi ) Tokyo Character Street [ Akihabara ] Animate Evening Return to the Hotel

Tokyo International Anime Fair Anime Japan By Max Timchenko – Own work, GFDL, Link

Before our big day at the International Anime Fair – AnimeJapan tomorrow, our Anime tour will visit some of the best anime sites Tokyo has to offer. We first start with some traditional Japanese culture and shopping at Asakusa. Enjoy shopping at the Nakamise area and the stunning red temple that is Sensoji. We then make our way to Sunshine City to check out the Pokemon Mega Center, a must-go for all Pokemon lovers. Besides all the Pokemon goods they sell, they also have a battling and trading room for customers to interact with other Pokemon fans.

pokemon center

After browsing through exclusive products, we will head over to J-World, the Shonen Jump theme-park in Tokyo! Play games and win prizes based on all your favorite characters, including Goku from Dragonball, Luffy and Co from One Piece, Naruto and Sasuke, Kuroko and the rest of the Generation of Miracles, and Hinata and his team of volleyball hopefuls! Win prizes and shop to your hearts content at the J-World store before our next stop. For lunch, enjoy sushi with fish provided by the Tsukiji Fish Market, the famous fish market that provides freshest ingredients for thousands of families and businesses alike.

J-world

Following our time at the market, the tour will visit the lively Tokyo Character Street in Tokyo Central Station. The area is lined with various anime-themed shops, including a Jump Store, Pokemon Center, Hello Kitty shop, Ghibli store, and more! There’s also Tokyo Ramen Street, Okashi Land, and Gachapon Street, perfect for someone who wants some lunch and to do a little more gift shopping for friends or for themselves! After our adventures at Character Street, we will head to Akihabara, the town of anime. While there, enjoy shopping ad sightseeing for the rest of the day at some of the most popular otaku destinations, including Animate. Animate carries all kinds of character goods, electronics, and games from current and popular anime/manga series.

Tokyo Character Street

Hearton Hotel Higashi Shinagawa or similar Breakfast Lunch Day 3 Tokyo | AnimeJapan Festival Morning AnimeJapan Optional Shibuya Scrumble Crossing Gundam Base Tokyo (Optional) VR ZONE SHINJUKU (Optional) Ninja Trick House (Optional) CAPCOM BAR (Optional) Mario Kart (Optional) Evening Return to the Hotel *Evening Capsule Hotels (Optional)

Gundam Base Tokyo Japan Life Size Gundam Unicorn

Today’s the big day of the International Anime Fair – AnimeJapan! Join the many cosplayers, otaku, and anime lovers of all degrees in the biggest Anime event in the world. Anime, manga, doujinshi, guest speakers, figurines, rare items, video games, limited and exclusive covers are all accessible at this large event. Enjoy your day exploring the grounds and meeting people with the same passion as you! If the fair isn’t enough, you also have the option to join an optional tour at 3pm to explore the famous Shibuya Crossing and Gundam Base Tokyo to see the awesome life-size RX-0 Unicorn Gundam model (72 ft). The Gundam Base is an expansive store, museum, and features a cafe for guests to enjoy everything Gundam.

Real Life Mario Kart Experience at Maricar Japan

Feel free to enjoy the night at your leisure, or you have the option to enjoy the night as you wish, or sign up for a few optional excursions. We have the new VR Zone Shinjuku, an incredible VR-focused arcade, the Ninja Trick House where guests can enjoy learning how to throw ninja-stars and also learn the ways of the ninja, or a meal at the CAPCOM BAR, a themed-restaurant showcasing the best of CAPCOM, including games and themed-meals, or sign up for a MarioKart experience and drive go-karts around Tokyo dressed as some of your favorite characters!

You also have the option of staying a night in a capsule hotel for one night (additional fees may apply for capsule hotel and/or additional excursions)

(Err no thank you to the capsule hotel… Too claustrophobic for me – like sleeping in a coffin or morgue lol)

Japanese Capsule Hotels

Hearton Hotel Higashi Shinagawa or similar Breakfast Day 4 Tokyo | J-Pop, Ghibli, & Robots Morning Harajuku Harajuku Crepes (JDT Recommends) Harajuku Kiddy Land (Optional) Omotesando (Optional) Sailor Moon Store (Optional) Tokyo One Piece Tower Afternoon Ghibli Museum Robot Restaurant Evening Return to the Hotel

Japanese Crepes

We will start our morning heading to Harajuku for shopping and snacks along Takeshita Dori. This shopping area is the perfect place to get in touch with Japan’s pop culture trends, and to sample some of the best crepes in Japan. After our time in Harajuku, we head to Tokyo Tower, Japan’s iconic tower. Tokyo Tower has been taken over by One Piece, resulting in Tokyo One Piece Tower. Known as Tongari Island, this event is filled with attractions, wonderful restaurants, and a live-action show designed to wow fans of all ages.

Japanese Crepes

Following our time at the tower, we head east to visit the famed Ghibli Museum. This animation and art museum exhibits works of Miyazaki Hayao, creator of world famous films such as My Neighbor Totoro, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea. Ghibli Film fans will definitely enjoy the artistic museum, which not only exhibits the history and techniques of animation but also plays short movies in a theater room, produced exclusively for the museum.

Tokyo Tower

After the museum, it’s time for dinner at the Robot Restaurant in Shinjuku for those interested! Enjoy a show like none before, fusing classic Japanese elements with the dreams and fantasies of the future. The restaurant has a wild vibe and a unique experience you are sure to find entertaining.

Robot Restaurant

Hearton Hotel Higashi Shinagawa or similar Breakfast Lunch Day 5 Tokyo | Leisure-Free All Day Free at your leisure Optional Excursion Fees not included. Opt 1 Tokyo Disneyland (Optional) Opt 2 Tokyo Disney Sea (Optional) Opt 3 Kamakura (Optional) -or- Nikko (Optional) Opt 4 Mario Kart (Optional) Opt 5 Sanrio Puroland (Optional) Opt 6 Fuji-Q Highland (Optional) Evening Return to the Hotel We have cleared up the day for you to explore and enjoy Japan as you wish. You can either 1) enjoy the entire day as you wish 2) visit Tokyo Disney Land, Fuji Q Amusement Park, or Tokyo DisneySea or another theme-park 3) Join a Mario Kart day tour* 4) go on a private-guided tour through Nikko or Kamakura

Tokyo Disney Resort

For those who wish to visit Tokyo Disney Land, Fuji Q Amusement Park, or Sanrio Puroland, your tour guide will be happy to explain directions. (additional fees may apply for additional tour options. Please contact us in advanced for this service)

*The Mario Kart experience requires an International Driving Permit. Please contact us for more information if you would like to participate.

Hearton Hotel Higashi Shinagawa or similar Breakfast Day 6 Tokyo Departure Departure Transfer Departure* Narita Int’l Airport (NRT) or Haneda Int’l Airport (HND) Your pleasant and memorable Japan tour ends today. The tour will disband after breakfast. Fly home with cherished memories or enjoy your extended stay in Japan.

https://japandeluxetours.com/help/frequently-asked-questions/

Mirai Store

5. Anime Japan Tour | Tokyo Departure Date(s) 6 Days 2018 Tokyo Tokyo 03/22 5 Nights 6 Days From : USD 1,878 USD 1,784 pp

Destinations:

Akihabara Animate

Ghibli Museum

J-World

Pokemon Center

Asakusa – Sensoji Temple

Shibuya Crossing

Nakano Broadway

Tokyo Character Street

Tokyo One Piece Tower

Experiences

AnimeJapan

Robot Restaurant

Tsukiji Fish Market Lunch

Optional – Capsule Hotel

Take on Tokyo during our AnimeJapan Tour | Tokyo package! This fully escorted Japan tour focuses on all of the major anime & manga spots in Tokyo, and enjoy admission to the AnimeJapan festival! We’ve also included a day of leisure in the city, with plenty of suggested itineraries we can set up at your convenience (additional fees may apply).

Animate Japan – World’s Largest Anime Store

During this Anime Japan tour, we have selected the integral destinations that showcase Japan’s unique pop culture. Akihabara, the mecca of anime and electronics, is just one of the many destinations we will be visiting during this tour. Among the shops of Akihabara, we recommend a visit to the Animate store. One of the largest anime and manga store chains, you’re bound to find the latest anime posters, figurines, and goods.

There’s also J-World, the indoor theme park featuring Dragon Ball, One Piece, and Naruto, Tokyo Character Street, the shopping arcade in Tokyo Central Station perfect for souvineer shopping, and the Ghibli Museum where the works of Hayao Miyazaki come to life. We’ll also be swinging by the long-standing Nakano Broadway and Tokyo One Piece Tower, just in case you were worried we didn’t have enough anime spots on the menu. This anime tour will also covers the Gundam Base Tokyo, where the massive 72 foot Unicorn Gundam stands over Odaiba!

animation copic markers

With so many incredible anime shopping destinations, don’t forget this tour includes admission to the AnimeJapan exhibition at Odaiba’s Big Sight Convention Center! There are over 100 exhibitors participating, capturing the spirit of anime and manga from fans all over the world. The exhibition not only features displays and performances, but also charity auctions, cosplayers events, meeting animators and manga artists, limited edition goods, and more. We’ve also arranged for an optional walking tour along Shibuya after the convention! You can also extend your vacation before / after this Anime Japan Tour in Tokyo.

Come Join the LARGEST Anime Expo & See all the hottest anime and Manga spots in Tokyo!

Tokyo – AnimeJapan

OMG!!!! They have a different tour to the Tokyo Game Show and Video Games / Arcades in Japan too. A shorter one, only 3 nights.

And another one which is 8 nights and includes things like the deer park (deer just roam the streets, they’re tame you can pet and feed them, etc). And includes more museums and things too.

Of course the best one is 15 days long – but it’s also the most expensive.

So many awesome tours. I’m definitely doing this (probably the 6 day one) – Hopefully next year once I save up the money.

My life long dream <3

I Want To Take an Anime and Manga Tour in Japan was originally published on GeekySweetie.com - Geeky & Kawaii Anime, Tech, Toys, & Game Reviews & News

[reaperseal-archive]

Just current mundane life rambles lol

During the past week I’ve felt really exhausted even when I’ve slept for like 12 hours and I guess it’s a mixture of GAD and depression but I was also off of my iron supplements for a few months and I guess i’m probably anemic again. 

For some reason iron just doesn’t stay in my system so I’ve been on and off supplements pretty much my entire life and no doctor has ever told me why the problem never stays fixed. So i’m on my heavy duty expensive meds again and hopefully within the next couple of weeks I feel better.

I’ve also felt anxious, not in like a horrible awful way but in a “there’s nothing to do” kind of way. Like everything is boring and I just want to lay in bed and stare at a wall. As depressing as that sounds I don’t mean it that way at all i’m not really sad or super happy i’m just kinda meh with any activity i’d normally participate in.

I also attribute the boredom to the fact that i’m unemployed and really stressed because I’ve handed out 50+ resumes since I graduated in like the first week of October. I got an interview but wasn’t hired bc the other chick they interviewed already had experience with the same company. I also worked in housekeeping for a little bit but I got less than 10 hours/week and dwindling and I really hated it so I quit. Obviously it’s been hard to get a job because the town I live in is seasonal and low end minimum wage jobs that have good hours are either already taken or only hired for in the spring/early summer.

Like before I was afraid of working as a waitress or cashier but i’d literally take anything with at least 20 hours a week. I’ve even considered getting my liquor license and applying to all the bars in town.

I could deal with an emotionally and physically exhausting horrible job that makes me miserable as long as i’m making that mad $$$$$. I’m kind of disappointed in myself for not being able to get a job for this long but I know it’s not my fault at all since I’ve been giving it so much effort. It’s a small town and people usually get jobs through connections. I even applied for some sophisticated office assistant positions, but of course I didn’t get it because someone with an administrative degree probably applied.

I know that this summer will be amazing and i’m just getting so antsy waiting to get a job and start going outside more when it’s warm.. I’ll be making money and i’ll actually be able to start moving forward in my life saving up for whatever college course I wanna take in the future, for a car, art supplies, being able to treat myself and buy my own damn shampoo instead of feeling guilty that my parents still have to 100% take care of me.

Part of me is scared that I won’t actually get a job during hiring season but that’s literally impossible because I’ll be applying EVERYWHERE for full time and part time. Bbbbut that little voice in my head will convince me of failure even over things that have like a 0.0000000000001% chance of happening.

Tomorrow I have a phone interview with mental health intake so I can get into adult therapy. Even though my life is a lot better and my mind is a lot clearer than it was a year ago, my anxiety still creeps up and I find myself making problems in my head out of nothing and i’m just. Wondering if i’m a bad person, if everyone hates me, if I suck, if i’m a gigantic failure, if my art will never get better, etc constantly. Stupid shit that I know is all wrong but I can never get my mind to shut up. There’s nothing wrong going on in my life other than my job struggles but it’s like I have to find something to obsess over, a reason to beat myself up... Ick.

I’ve set a goal that when I get into therapy i’m actually going to stay in therapy. No more “I feel better, I don’t need it anymore!” Because I always end up falling down again after I thought I had everything under control. And maybe this time if i’m recommended I should be on meds, i’ll actually give them a try instead of taking them for a few days and being convinced that i’d never need them.

Other 2017 goals include;

Draw more (More specifically draw for at least 20 mins every day)

Get my license when the snow melts (Also learn to parallel park first that’s the only thing I haven’t learned and that’s why I don’t have my license)

Learn how to take care of my skin better (Try new products, actually taKE OFF MY MAKEUP BEFORE I GO TO BED!!!!)

Read more

I want to try to eat better, not in the “Hurr hurr i’m vegan/gluten-free/vegetarian/organic” way, but having more balance and eating more meat and fruit because i’m aDDICTED TO CARBS AND VEGGIES AND JUNK. For some reason I just don’t really like meat.. i’m not a vegan or morally against eating meat, It’s literally just not my favorite taste/texture in the world.

Continue waking up early in the morning

Write in my (physical) journal more often

Continue to grow my hair out and keep it healthy

Nipple piercings (hopefully)

First tattoo (hopefully)

Push myself to socialize with more people

Quit smoking

Continue molding myself into the person I want to be

Give my boyfriend a bajillion trillion kisses and do SO MANY FUN THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of molding myself into the person I want to be, I’ve already changed a lot since the legitimate end of my grade 12 year (June 2016). I’m more confident, i’m a lot more mature, I ended a relationship in which the both of us brought the worst out of each other, I’ve ended many friendships that were just unhealthy, I think a lot more clearly, I have an inkling of Adult Responsibility, I no longer give the people who hurt me a voice, I’ve gotten better at forgiving myself for my mistakes, i’m in a relationship that makes me so happy I can’t explain in the English language how much he means to me. If I could reach into the sky and pluck the stars for him I would. Waking up next to him, just SEEING him after a couple days of not seeing him makes my heart blossom and have a mini fireworks show. He still gives me butterflies. I love everything about him!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m a lot more independent than I used to be, which I attribute to higher self-esteem and just kicking my anxiety to the curb. I don’t really stay up late anymore like I used to (Until like 6am lmao) and I actually really enjoy mornings now.

But yeah all in all I just don’t feel so lost anymore? Of course I still do, but in different aspects.. Before I felt like my life was dead-ending and I had nowhere to go and that i’d never finish high school or get anywhere in life, but now I see beyond that since I finished high school. Now i’m lost more in the career world, i’m scared of how much more growing up I’ve got to do for the years to come. And of course I still struggle with GAD.

If you read this entire thing i’m amazed right now lol. I think i’ll do these little journal entries to the internet more often, they can be anywhere from super short to super long though.