#wizard breakdown tracker

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Echoes of the Solstice

You know it, you love it, it may return on an as-needed basis for Campaign 3 now that Allura has entered the narrative and we know the fate of Caleb, but no promises: it's the Wizard Breakdown Tracker! As a reminder, I now include PCs because I make the rules; wizard NPCs are included on the very scientific basis of "do I have something I think is kind of funny or meaningful to say" so as always, if I left someone off, it was on purpose specifically to annoy you.

Astrid Becke: well her boss is missing, Caleb has expressed concerns in private to Beau about all of the Assembly, apparently the king is bedridden and has been for some time, and I suspect news of unsealed things being unsealed gets to her quickly; even if she isn't aware of the events in Blumenthal yet, she's about to be. Also, it's the apogee solstice. 8/10; ever the opportunist, it is a good time for her to try to become head of the Assembly, but also shit's gone real sideways.

Eadwulf Grieve: lost his title of hottest mage (men's division) to one Fjord Stone during the last Nicodranas County Fair and has been sulking ever since but more importantly the temple of the Raven Queen is doing Not Great Bob as of like an hour ago so a rare Eadwulf stress moment. 7/10.

Planerider Ryn: just lost her arm...but is unaware of it, so that's probably helping. technically cannot be calculated because she is a rock but spiritually like an 8/10 and that's only because she is remarkably unflappable; she just witnessed the Malleus Key and that should drive anyone up to a 10.

Allura Vysoren: has absolutely sensed a disturbance in the force weave and I'm sure Kima's feeling some bad vibes from Bahamut right now, but rather like Ryn she actually has some degree of sangfroid, a concept unheard of in the entire continent of Wildemount. 6/10.

Yussa Errenis: have you ever dealt with like, an ER Nurse, and unless something is actually exploding or someone is actually bleeding out they're like "yeah it be like that sometimes"? After you've been sucked into the Cognouza Hivemind while trying to do your silly little arcane investigations nothing short of the Calamity will ruffle you. He's an elf; he knows this solstice is wonky but also he knows this is Someone Else's Problem. Also Jester's left him alone for a whole 24 hours? Incredible. 2/10 and that's really just because he's still a little cranky about the disappearance of his blast scepter. As always: never change, king.

Prism Grimpoppy: by my calculations she's discovering that she's actually fucking incredible in combat right now. 0/10, she's doing GREAT.

Pumat Sol and sure, fuck it, Oremid Hass: I suspect the Zadash Wizard Contingent is dealing with some wild unsealed shit from the time of the Julous Dominion and they can't get in touch with anyone in the capital, but it's probably manageable. 4/10. On edge but not too bad.

Ludinus Da'leth: oh did your little plan to unleash the god-eater go a touch sideways? were you unprepared for the possibility of fucking all of magic? did you think it was going to be easy? did level 9 "Fuck Up Airship" and level 8 "Shield Against Werewolf" fail to save your bitch ass? As we've seen, he'll scramble and recover, unfortunately, but it's a well-deserved 9/10 right now. I love to see a plan fall apart.

Trent Ikithon: OH this motherfucker has LOST IT in prison. Like...he was able to put together a pretty elaborate situation, to be clear, but also he's gone bugfuck nuts and does not really improve. I think he's already broken down from the start having clearly been planning this exact scenario from the moment of his imprisonment honestly given that he appears to be going off of the frissons he picked up from Caleb and Essek shortly before he was captured, but regardless: he definitely ends it at a 10/10. Stuck in an egg for eternity, if he's even still a separate entity from Omentis. A well-deserved fate if ever there was one. Get fucked lol.

Veth Brenatto: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 10/10 you know she watched Luc leap through the teleportation circle as it closed and has been shrieking loud enough to be heard at the Chateau.

Luc Brenatto: the arrogance and naivete of youth insulate him initially, but Aggy's demise probably spikes it to a solid 6 minimum and it's definitely 9 during the battle. It goes back down pretty quickly though; see Caleb's entry.

Caleb Widogast: he keeps it together pretty well, honestly! Still I have to imagine he's kind of at a 7 or so this entire time with occasional spikes to 9 (NEIN) throughout, and I wouldn't fault him for finishing up the Blumenthal Brunch and then quietly locking himself in a soundproof tower room to scream, cry, and throw up for a while. Indeed, I would encourage it; Caleb should go have a good cry and hug a magic cat for a couple hours until he feels better, and then come back down to find that everyone except the clerics but DEFINITELY including Luc has implemented Spontaneous Apogee Solstice Oktoberfest to celebrate the demise of Trent, the engagement of Fjord and Jester, and the general experience of being alive, and is varying degrees of extremely wasted. This will of course bring him back up to like 7 as he realizes he has to return a hungover teenager to Veth and then goes down to a 4 or so when he realizes the clerics can fix that and Veth will probably be so glad that Luc is alive she'll ignore the rest of it.

Essek Thelyss: Our international drow of mystery looms large in the narrative, but does not make an appearance, which makes this premise extremely funny. I assume he's feeling kind of rough given that the Dynasty wizards are well-attuned to leylines and I would imagine he picks up that Sending isn't working and was broadly aware Caleb was going into danger, so he's certainly stressed, but Trent doesn't actually seem to know Where in Exandria is Essek Thelyss and is merely threatening blackmail. Honestly while we're at it, we don't know where Essek is because I wouldn't put it past Mr. Geometer Owner to have been at a solstice nexus and to have possibly experienced his own Solstice Shunting. In fact I assume Essek is blissfully unaware of these specific goings on re: Trent and is just experiencing The Anxiety for all of the previous reasons. (1d6+3)/10.

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: Hmmm. Things becoming unsealed, you say? The uninvited guest list (The Real Gelidon, Isharnai) for The TusktoothStone-Lavorre wedding may have gained an extra entry.

[phptonki]

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Though the app is down, you can access its website. Before, there used to be a dedicated SG Poké Map application for Android. If you’re looking for the real-time Pokemon Go map scanner for Singapore, look no further from SG Poké Map.

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A map is available for Harry Potter Wizards Unite players as well.

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PVP guide entailing step-by-step instruction and a breakdown of Pokemon for PVP battles.

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So, if you’re looking for a Pokemon GO map live that lists Pokéstops and much more, look no further from Go Map. That’s the reason you may find the website handier in some regions than others. The website depends on players for reporting spawns and locations. Go Map is a real-time map that shows Pokéstops, Pokemon spawns, and gyms. You can combine the above several reference articles to write the content of this part. Please give each map/radar a detailed introduction, its website, features, working principle, etc. This part will write the top Pokemon go maps and trackers that still works. Though some of these apps may not work anymore, you can yet find the below Pokemon Go radar or map sources working. Unfortunately, Niantic has found some top Pokemon radar apps/websites and tried to shut these apps down. The Pokemon Go Maps and Radars That Still Works We recommend using a Pokemon Go radar Android app/website on another device. However, it’s important to use a Pokemon Go Map or radar application or website wisely as it can lead to your account ban. On some sources, you can even find out information about Pokemon nests, gyms, Pokéstops, and other game-related details. In addition to that, some Pokemon Go radar or map sources even display real-time spawning details. Ultimately, players can check which Pokemon is spawning at any specific locality and visit it in order to catch it. Ideally, the Pokemon Go raid map or radar will display details about the Pokémons spawning in different regions. Pokemon Go raid map or radar is an application or website that has information about the Pokemon Go app. What is a Pokemon Go Raid Map or Pokemon Go Radar? A Useful Tool to Catch Pokémons without Walking/Moving/Remotely? This post is all about exploring the best Pokemon Go radars and maps that still work in 2021. Most of them have since gone shut down but some still remain. That’s why changes were introduced to the back end of the Pokemon Go game that makes it more challenging for Maps and Radars to work. Though it was handy for everyone, it is also a concern for Niantic about cheating. When Pokemon Go first released, lots of players invested resources and time into setting up radars and maps that help them find everything in the game, from Pokéstops and Gyms to rare Pokemon spawns. The Best Pokemon Go Maps and Radars That Really Works in 2022

[volturiwolf]

The Volturi Princess - A Felix Volturi x fem!Reader Story (part 2)

No of Words: 5182

Mentions of: Abandonment, Abortion, Anxiety, Blood, Bruises, Coma/Comatosed State, Death Emotional Abuse, Emotional and Physical Pain, Gaslighting, Greece/Greek Language - with translation, Heartbreak, Italian Language - with translation, Manipulation, Murder, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Suffering, Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts, Swear Language, Throwing Up/Puking, Witches/Wizards/Witchcraft

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part 1

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Felix’s POV:

My days in the castle were becoming more and miserable by the minute. I couldn’t stop thinking about (Y/N), she was always on my mind. When there was a mission, I would make myself forget her for a while and would focus on my job. But in times like this, when there was nothing to do in particular, I would stay in my room for hours and hours, and just wouldn’t think about anything else, but her.

It must have been about two decades or so that she left Volterra to “explore the world”, as she said. Time is pretty subjective when you’re supposed to live forever. Yet, I was mentally counting every moment she was away. I was taking mental notes of everything that was going around here, every prank Demetri and I would pull off to annoy either Jane or each other, every important event or mission we were sent to, so I could tell (Y/N) later. I smiled at the thought of her laughing along with me, and then my smile dropped when I realized she may never even come back.

Why would she? Living with the Volturi - with Aro - controlling her life, how she should have looked like, how she was expected to act in every different situation, and, on top of that, pushing her to her physical and mental limits to declare any gift besides strength, speed and tracking must have been exhausting for her. All these years.. All these years of emotional isolation must have affected her greatly.

Aro had never been the most affectionate person I’ve met. When the twins joined the Volturi, and then the Guard, he focused on them exclusively, training and mentoring them every day to develop their gifts. (Y/N) was pushed aside, a lost cause; she would never be the powerful vampire/weapon Aro hoped he acquired all these centuries ago.

He hoped that she would manage to declare a power similar to her mother - an exceptional mind-reader (and shield, as we found out centuries later) or even a new and unique power, given her father’s lineage. (Y/N) never expressed anything “unique” for Aro’s standards, but to me, she was just perfect. We were equally strong and fast - maybe she was even stronger and faster than me, and she was also an incredible tracker, like Demetri, though he could track anyone he has ever met, just by hearing their conscience.

And now, she is gone. She had left me. I caught myself quite a few times thinking what would our lives be like, had I told her how I felt - and still feel - about her. I am pretty sure that she was feeling the same, that she felt our bond, our connection. But, just like her, I never came forward; I was never true to myself, or her; I never told her that I would dedicate my immortal life to her if that meant that she would stay here with me.

And now, I pay for it. I've been drowning in misery and pain. Not physical pain, I could handle physical pain by now. Even Jane’s induced pain was nothing compared to the kind of pain I’ve been feeling ever since (Y/N) left. I felt as if I were a mortal and my heart was ripped out of my body and stepped on. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe, though I didn’t actually need to breathe.

Demetri must have heard my sharp gasps for air, as my door opened widely, a terrified Demetri standing under the framework. He stared at my unwell state, and rushed to me, hugging me tightly. I left a few sobs and felt tears that couldn’t come. Demetri did not say a word for a few minutes, stroking my hair with his left hand and holding me with his right one. I held onto him as if I was holding on for dear life.

My mind was just blurry and I couldn’t think straight. Was that what it felt like, being away from your mate? I missed her dearly. All these years, I never told anyone other than Demetri about (Y/N) possibly being my mate, although I think Marcus would probably know already.

As my sobs started coming to an end, I was able to finally take deep breaths, and focus my mind on a particular spot on the floor to calm myself. Demetri cupped my face with his hands, trying to calm me down by saying a few comforting words. To outsiders, this scene may have looked strange, if not weird, but Demetri and I, being best friends for almost one millennium, had that kind of intimacy, and we both liked how open we could be to each other.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them slowly, feeling a bit calmer than I did 10 minutes ago. I needed to feel each moment of my pain; I needed to feel again what it’s like being apart from the only person I ever loved; I needed to remember every moment I was close to her, and then wasn’t.

“Are you feeling better now?” Dem asked calmly, still holding my face. I nodded slightly, and he let his hands fall on his lap. “Were you thinking about (Y/N) again?” I nodded again. I nodded again.

He frequently caught me thinking absentmindedly, or even sobbing slightly, but never a full-on breakdown. He took my quite big hands in his smaller ones, patting them condescendingly. I didn’t want to be pitied by others, but Dem never made fun of me for hurting, never made me feel less of the “evil executioner” I was known to be.

“I don’t know what it feels like, being separated from your mate, so I won’t tell you how to feel or act about it. I just want you to know that you can come to me if you feel down. It pains me to see you hurting, though I understand that her very absence has affected you greatly. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, and I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. You may not see it, but Alec, even Jane, worries about you and want you to be happy. We will all do whatever it takes to see you happy again, even if that means running after (Y/N)..”

My head jolted. I asked him if he was serious. “I’m not lying or joking, Felix. If we have to go after her and bring her back to you, we’ll do it. You’re our friend and we’re your friends. That’s what friends do.”

I couldn’t believe it! There was a chance that (Y/N) was still out there, and my friends were willing to help me find her. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the Witch Twins felt like true friends to me, and as long as I had them and Demetri, I think I could do anything in this world.

Now, we just had to talk to the twins, and see what they thought of it. I don’t know if we were even allowed to drop off all the missions and duties we had here and go search for (Y/N). I know we had to take the kings’ permission before we could do anything, and I was worried and kind of terrified with the idea of them knowing (Y/N) and I were mates, and how badly in love I was with her.

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Demetri’s POV:

It was just another day in the Volterra castle. I was wandering around, having finished my duties for the day, probably for the week as well - it all depended on the Masters’ or the Twins’ mood for a “sudden, important mission” popping up in my schedule.

I wasn’t the type of person to spend their free time in the library, like the Twins, or in my room, like Felix. I vaguely remember my human life. My family was a typical middle-class Athenian family, and we were lucky enough to own a decent piece of land for cultivation. I would spend hours working on the fields, planning possible expansions and new techniques for richer crops.

I smiled slightly at the memory; that’s basically what I mostly remembered from my mortal life before Amun found me and turned me into what I am today. Before I traveled to Egypt to live with the Egyptian coven. Before Aro found me and converted me to his coven. I didn’t know how he managed to convert me then until I found out about Chelsea’s gift.

But even then, I never actually felt the need to leave the Volturi. I had a good life here; I had great friends; easy access to human blood, thanks to Heidi; I had it easy for the price I paid serving the three Volturi kings.

My train of thought was cut short when I heard quiet sobs. I wasn’t regarded as the best tracker for nothing; based on the volume of the sobs, the surrounding atmosphere, and the tone of the voice coming out, I could easily detect that it was Felix, sobbing in his room.

I run quickly, not caring about anyone walking through the corridors. I reached his door and opened it widely, not caring to wait for a response. I saw Felix sobbing on his bed, his eyes tearless but still desperate, trying to gasp for air, although we don’t really need to breathe. I rushed to his side, hugging him tightly, letting his sobs shake through my body.

I didn’t say a thing for some time, stroking his hair with one hand and holding him with my other, trying to find the right thing to say to calm him down. He held on to me for dear life, and I felt as if he was, once again, upset for (Y/N). His sobs started slowing down and he started taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Without thinking, I cupped his face, telling him a few comforting words, watching him close his eyes, and taking one deep breath.

“Are you feeling better now?” I asked him calmly, and I felt myself getting calmer as he nods slightly. I let my hands fall on my lap and asked him what I’ve been thinking about all this time. “Were you thinking about (Y/N) again?” Felix nodded, confirming my suspicions.

I caught him plenty of times not being himself - his cautious, meticulous, present self; the one who was always concentrated and focused on the present. He sobbed often these days, but never a full-on breakdown. This had me worried. I took his hands in mine and patted them, showing him that I understood what he was going through, although I, myself, never found my mate. I told him so, that I didn’t know what it was like for him to be away from his mate, but also that I would never disregard how and what he felt.

I just didn’t want him to hurt; I wanted him to know that I’ll always be there for him, whenever he needed me. And, though he may not actually believe it, Alec and Jane were also worried about him. He may have not noticed it, but I wasn’t the only one who saw that he was in pain.

Alec and Jane also saw that Felix was not his confident, straightforward self anymore, so I told them once what I suspected all along. That the absence of (Y/N) affected him way more than it affected Jane, who was (Y/N)’s best girlfriend, or even Heidi, Chelsea, and Corin, even Renata, who spent most of her time on Aro’s side, being his main bodyguard.

Without thinking clearly, I suggested that we could all go after (Y/N), find her, and bring her back to Felix. His head jolted, and looked at me in disbelief, not being sure if I was serious. I told him I was, and, at this moment, his whole demeanor changed. It was probably the first time after such a long time that I’ve seen him actually smiling, and my undead soul felt at peace at last. We now only had to inform the twins, and, probably, anyone else willing to help.

My only worry was the kings, especially Aro; he probably didn’t know about (Y/N) and Felix’s mate bond, and I don’t even know what he’ll think of it when he finds out. Now, I had other things to worry about; how to get the Twins to come with us and bring (Y/N) back to Volterra.

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“We’re in.” Jane declared decisively, Alec agreed along with a nod, standing close to his twin.

“Are you both sure about that? We don’t know if the kings will allow us to go find her. Heck, I don’t even know if I could track her. I could never track (Y/N)’s mind, like ever. We may be wandering in vain, searching for her in places she’s never been. It may take a lot of time if we ever find her.”

I wanted to be honest with them about the worst-case scenario, feeling Felix slightly squirm nearby. I turned around to face the giant. His face was a mix of pain and anger, his eyes a dark burgundy, almost black from not feeding the past few weeks. This reminded me to get him to hunt soon, whether we left Volterra or not. I turned back to the twins.

“Demetri. You know that (Y/N) is our friend, too. Alec and I would do anything to bring her back.” Jane then turned to Felix. “Whatever happens, we will all stand by your side.” Felix mumbled a small “thank you”, so quiet that only us four could barely hear, still looking down, at the floor.

“We have to go and tell them.” I announced, gulping my non-existent saliva. They all knew I was referring to the three kings, and we all knew the possibility of being denied to leave on this mission of ours.

“Let me handle this. You know they cannot deny me anything.” Jane stated and led the way towards the throne room, full of confidence and reassurance.

It was true after all that Jane and Alec, being the kings’ favourite guards, were not denied anything. (Y/N) enjoyed such privileges as well, being the continuation of Aro’s bloodline, possibly our future Queen, if the kings ever decided to step down from their royal duties.

Within a minute, Jane opened the doors to the throne room widely and stepped in, followed closely by Alec and Felix and I following nearby.

“Jane! Alec! To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my two favourite children?” Aro almost chirped at the sight of the twins, not even acknowledging Felix and I’s presence.

He has always been too nice to the twins, the Volturi’s most powerful offensive weapons. My gift and Felix’s raw strength are nothing compared to Jane’s ability to inflict mental pain, or Alec’s ability to deprive one or multiple people’s senses at will.

“Masters, the four of us request your permission to leave on a mission. We don’t know how long it will take us or when we’ll come back, but I assure you we’ll be back as soon as we’re done with it.” Jane informed the kings confidently, and Aro’s brows furrowed slightly.

“What kind of a mission, dear Jane? I don’t remember giving you all a mission recently.” Aro seemed curious, as he nodded towards Jane to come closer. Jane obeyed, stepping closer to Aro and extending her hand towards him, who gladly took it into his palms.

A few minutes passed by, with Aro looking nowhere in particular, while he studied Jane’s thoughts, until he came back, and let Jane’s hand slowly out of his own ones. Felix tensed beside me; we both knew now that Aro knows about the purpose of our mission, and that he may also know about (Y/N) and Felix’s bond, as he stared at him with an evil smirk. He turned towards Marcus.

“Is it true, brother?” He asked the melancholic vampire to his right. Marcus seemed unamused, which was quite typical of him.

“Yes. They’ve been mates for quite some time.” He dragged his words.

Aro turned back to us. “And yet, (Y/N) chose to leave Volterra, to “explore the world”, away from her mate. Seems that their bond is not as strong after all.”

Felix was becoming more and more furious beside me. I could sense his distaste towards our master, as Aro invalidated their bond, and probably, him being his granddaughter’s mate. Felix confessed to me multiple times that he didn’t feel worthy of being (Y/N)’s mate; that she deserved a lot more than just an average vampire guard.

That’s why he never confessed his true feelings towards her, only looking at her from afar, and hoping that one day, she would confess her feelings first, so they could be together forever. Neither of them ever confessed, and, with (Y/N) being gone for quite some time now, Felix seemed to have regretted not telling her. Maybe they could have been together now, and he wouldn’t have his heart broken over her absence.

Aro’s voice broke my train of thought. “You have my permission to go find my granddaughter, but, before you go, you’ll have to make a plan. I cannot risk my guards leaving Volterra for too long. You’ll have to decide who will come with you, and you’ll have to be back as soon as you find her. No procrastination. You have three days to plan and make your decisions. Now, go, and make sure you bring (Y/N) back!” Aro waved his hand, showing us our way out of the throne room.

We never thought we had to make a plan to find (Y/N); we didn’t expect Aro to let us leave on such a mission, where we wouldn’t know if we’d even find (Y/N). But he did, and now we had to make a plan. We knew that it would definitely be Felix, the twins, and me, but we didn’t know if anyone else wanted to join us.

Word spread fast because, within a few hours, most of the guards were already trying to help us decide on a plan, whether they could or could not join us on the actual mission. In the end, we decided it would be just the four of us, and we only had to make a plan as to where we would go to search for (Y/N).

We left within 3 days, going down to Sicily, traveling across the sea, to Malta, where we found Renata’s family. When we asked them about (Y/N), out of fear of Jane and Alec, her uncle told us she visited them once, about 20 years ago. “She kept saying how she planned to travel the world, Europe, Asia, America, Africa.. Wherever she could go.” Luca kept saying.

We left immediately after that. We decided to continue with our plan, first traveling across Europe. It wasn’t an easy task; most of the continent was at war with the Ottomans, and the rest was divided into smaller or bigger countries, nothing stable or permanent yet. We passed through North Europe, traveling towards the South, traveling across North Africa, ending up in Egypt.

I met with Amun, almost 700 years after I left him and Egypt for Aro and Italy. He was neither pleased nor surprised. He was rather cautious and guarded due to the Twins’ and Felix’s presence. He didn’t ask me why I left him, but he did invite us to stay in Egypt for some time. We told him we were in a hurry, we had to find (Y/N).

“So, it is true then? Aro’s granddaughter abandoned him at last..”. He grinned.

“What do you mean “at last”?” Felix became upset quite quickly.

“You never realized it before? When Chelsea, (Y/N) and yourself came with Aro and took Demetri with you, I saw it in (Y/N)’s eyes.” We were all confused. Amun continued.

“She looked miserable. She probably didn’t even want to be here, doing Aro’s bidding. She wasn’t made to serve him and his every wish. She indeed passed by a decade or two ago. She apologized for her part in Demetri’s departure, and she stayed with us for about a month or two. I welcomed her because I understood Aro destroyed her life, just as he destroyed ours.”

“What did she want in Egypt?” Felix was becoming more anxious by the minute.

Amun continued his narration. “She wanted to learn about Egypt, the Pyramids, the Pharaohs. She told me she read a lot about Ancient Egypt; how Alexander the Great colonized Egypt and many Greeks have been living here ever since; how the Great Pyramids were built. She just wanted to see all the history from up close. She wanted to experience everything. Who wouldn’t, right?” He grinned again, like the proud Egyptian he was, having seen all of Egypt’s glory through the past millennia.

It was Jane’s time to ask the questions. “So, she just visited? She didn’t say where she was going after she left?”

“She said she wanted to go and visit places. Though, she didn’t say where she would go. I would tell you if I knew.” Amun looked arrogant but cautious. He wouldn’t risk getting on Jane’s bad side, so he chose to tell the truth about (Y/N).

“We won’t be staying then. Let’s go.” Jane ordered and ran out of Amun’s palace, Alec following closely behind her.

Felix stayed behind, and I stopped in my tracks. “If you have her and you lied to us, I swear I will rip you apart with my own hands!” Felix pointed at Amun while threatening him.

Amun didn’t seem to be phased at all. “Believe me, I wouldn’t want to get on Aro’s bad side. I already lost someone important to me.” He looked straight at me, and then back to Felix. “But, if you want to find her, you may want to find Carlisle first. She admired him, for choosing to be more human than vampire. When he visited me last time, he did mention how (Y/N) was the only Volturi that didn’t really seem to actually belong in the Volturi. She was too kind for her own good.”

Felix's jaw clenched, and I grabbed him before he managed to attack Amun. I mumbled a “thank you” to Amun, and we ran to find the Twins. My tracking skills could sense Carlisle from a distance, so it wouldn’t be hard to find him. Finding (Y/N), though, was a totally different story.

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(Y/N)’s POV:

I woke up with a throbbing headache in an unknown place. My eyes couldn’t focus on anything in particular around me. I could barely distinguish the wooden furniture around me, and the burning fire in the fireplace. My hand traversed through woolen fabrics of different textures. Was I in bed? Was I in a bedroom? As my senses started to go back to normal, I started hearing people talking, a woman and man talking..in Greek?

“Αλέξανδρε, η (Ο/Σ) γύρισε! Το κοριτσάκι μας γύρισε επιτέλους!” (“Alexander, (Y/N) is back! Our little girl is finally back!”)

“Το ξέρω, Στέλλα. Πρέπει να την προστατεύσουμε, να την κρατήσουμε κοντά μας. Δε γίνεται να γυρίσει πίσω στη Βολτέρρα.” (“I know, Stella. We have to protect her, to keep her close to us. She cannot go back to Volterra.”)

“Τι θα κάνουμε αν την ψάξει ο Άρο ή κάποιος άλλος από τη φρουρά; Το ξέρουμε και οι δυο ότι, όπου και να είναι, θα κινδυνεύει.” (“What are we going to do if Aro or someone else from the Guard is looking for her? We both know that, wherever she is, she will be in danger.”)

“Το μόνο που μπορούμε να κάνουμε είναι να φροντίσουμε να την προετοιμάσουμε κατάλληλα. Πρέπει να μάθει το πραγματικό μέγεθος της δύναμής της. Ένιωθα τη δύναμη που είναι συσσωρευμένη μέσα της. Μπορεί να κάνει πραγματικά σπουδαία πράγματα, αρκεί να μάθει να ελέγχει τον εαυτό της και τις δυνάμεις της.” (“The only thing we can do is to make sure she is prepared accordingly. She has to learn the true extent of her power. I felt the power built up inside her. She can do amazing things, as long as she learns to control herself and her powers.”)

I was confused. My parents.. I found my parents. I faintly remember when I met them in the woods. I looked down at my body. I did not wear my white gown anymore, the one which I had once cut below the knee, so I could run around freely. I was now wearing a red dress, the vest covered in gold details. The vest’s sleeves went down, just a few centimeters above my wrists. The dress was made of silk, and it felt nice against my skin; I was finally wearing new, clean clothes and it felt nice.

I jumped out of the bed, and the dress flew around me, falling gently just above my ankles. There was a tearing to the side, which I thought was a nice detail, so I could actually run. I ran at a vampire speed towards the door and out of the room. I saw my parents talking in the living room, in front of the fireplace where another fire was burning bright and warmed up the room.

“Για τι πράγμα μιλούσατε; Σας άκουγα. Γιατί να έρθουν για μένα; Τι πρέπει να μάθω;” (“What were you talking about? I heard you. Why would they come for me? What do I have to learn?”)

My mother cupped my face affectionately. “Ψυχούλα μου, το ξέρεις ότι ο Άρο θα σε αναζητήσει. Θα κάνουμε τα πάντα για να σε προστατέψουμε, αλλά πρέπει να μάθεις να πολεμάς για τον εαυτό σου. Ήρθε η ώρα να μάθεις για τις πραγματικές σου δυνατότητες. Ο μπαμπάς σου θα σου μάθει ό,τι χρειάζεται να μάθεις για να εξασκήσεις τη μαγεία σου.” (“My little soul, you know that Aro will look for you. We’ll do everything to protect you, but you’ll have to learn to fight for yourself. It’s time to learn about your true capabilities. Your dad will teach you whatever you need to know to practice your magic.”)

“Now, follow us, (Y/N). I will teach you everything I know.” Dad took one of my hands in his and mom took my other hand in hers, and they led me outside, to the garden.

------------------------------------------------------

In the months that followed, I learned how to defend myself using my powers; how to cast spells; how to attack; I even learned how to use dark magic. And as time passed and I perfected my magic, the more magic and energy I could pump out of me, and the more I felt drawn to dark magic. It gave me an unexplainable power; a confidence that I could define my own life; a confidence that I could free myself from Aro.

My only concerns were my friends and Felix; though I was quite powerful by now, the only thing that kept me behind, trapped between what I have to do for myself and what I have to do for others, was the thought of Felix. I have already lost so much time being away from him, and sometimes, that was translated to physical pain, which I didn’t know could happen between mates. I assumed that it was the same for him as well, and I didn’t want him to be in pain.

Unlike the other vampires, I could cry, heck, I would cry for hours and hours. And that pain, that emptiness, would eventually feed the darkness in me. I couldn’t see it at first, but I started having darker, evil thoughts. I stopped feeding off of animals and started killing people. I killed people for their blood, or for fun - either way, I would still consume their blood. I was feeding my thirst and my darkness, becoming insensitive and slowly mad for revenge.

My parents wouldn’t say anything; I knew that it was part of their plan to get revenge on Aro. Unbeknownst to my mom, I also managed to copy her mind-reading, and having already copied Aro’s power, I could manage to know everything both of my parents have ever thought about. My magic penetrated her shield quite easily, and I managed to learn everything I needed to know about their plan, their lives, their abilities, and magic.

I was now way more powerful than them. I didn’t need them; they needed me - they needed me to take over Volterra. It all started as a need to take over territory and become powerful; powerful enough that they could challenge the Volturi and cease their powers, possibly manage to take me and any other powerful guard they found under their rule.

However, me finding them made their plan way easier - they knew that they could persuade me to do their bidding and join them. I was their daughter after all; we were family, and, although they didn’t raise me, they knew that I would much rather stay with them than Aro, given his past.

I didn’t oppose their plan; I wasn’t fond of it, but I didn’t mind. It could be a way to be finally recognized and appreciated. I could finally become the princess, officially, and I could take my friends and Felix away from Aro. We would be together; we wouldn’t be scared of what Aro may think of us; we would be finally free.

These thoughts pushed me day after day to push myself and my limits more. I had to become as powerful as I could ever be. The darkness was consuming my soul and I was welcoming it; I wanted to be in power; I wanted to be in control. I visualized the darkness surrounding me and consuming me; a black smoke swinging out of my body, surrounding me, and swirling around me. I could feel my eyes stink and I smelled the blood that was now oozing out of them. I felt my insides twist and turn, and I screamed in pain; my feet not being able to support my body anymore, as I fell down on my knees.

I felt the darkness “painting” my soul and turning it into a long abyss. I felt my humanity being stripped away from me, like a hand reaching out and ripping my heart out of my body and slowly crashing it. And then, it all stopped. I raised my head and looked at the world around me in a different light. The world was darker, meaner; everyone was my enemy. I would not let anyone subjugate me again; I would not be a victim anymore. I would take my revenge on the Volturi, I would make them pay.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Powerful!Harry

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 In Evidence of Magical Theory by bixgirl1 Rated:  Explicit Words:  43747 Tags: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Accidental Bonding, Magical Theory, Magical Cores, Powerful Harry, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Switching, Slash, HP: EWE, Falling In Love, forced bed sharing, Blow Jobs, completed fic, Bonding, Forced Proximity, Sharing a Bed, First Time, Loss of Virginity Summary:  When a hex meant for Draco accidentally catches Harry as well, they're forced to learn to understand each other in ways they previously might have thought impossible. In which Harry and Draco can't fight, so they fall in love instead. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Home by gnarf Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  29377 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Pansy Parkinson/Theodore Nott, Auror Harry Potter, Curse Breaker Draco Malfoy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sentient Houses, Magical Theory, Accidental Marriage, Accidental Bonding, Fluff, Getting Together, Banter, First Dates, Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, POV Harry Potter, Drinking, H/D Erised 2019 Summary:  When Harry was forced to leave his house because he couldn't take the things happening there any longer, he realised he'd need to ask for help from the best curse breaker the Ministry had to offer—Draco sodding Malfoy. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but nothing could have prepared him for what happened after he finally jumped over his own shadow. A story about an unsolved mystery, a few minor accidents, and finally finding a home. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Under Pressure by VivacissimoVoce Rated:  Mature Words:  21423 Tags: Romance, Mystery, Muggle Life, Post-Hogwarts, POV Draco Malfoy, Redeemed Draco, Powerful Harry Summary:  Harry Potter has quit magic and left the wizarding world. Draco, a top-notch Tracker, has been hired to find him and save his life. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Lick and a Promise by tackytiger Rated:  Explicit Words:  55321 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Past Draco Malfoy/Original Male Character(s), Mystery, Case Fic, Auror Harry Potter, Professor Harry Potter, Unspeakable Draco Malfoy, Professor Draco Malfoy, Undercover, Sentient Hogwarts, Magical Theory, Back to Hogwarts, Blood Magic, Blood Drinking, Blood, Vampires, Magic, Falling In Love, Masturbation, Desk Sex, Brandy - Freeform, Drinking, Feelings, Snarky Draco Malfoy, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Powerful Harry Potter, Competent Draco Malfoy, Domesticity, Kissing, Undressing, Bathing/Washing, Sharing a Bath, Minor Injuries, minor animal injuries, Minor Child Injuries, H/D Erised 2019, POV Alternating, POV Harry Potter, POV Draco Malfoy, Office Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Hogwarts Professors, Clothing Porn, Love Confessions, Draco Malfoy is a Snappy Dresser, Magical Creatures, Light Angst, Christmas, Christmas at Hogwarts Summary:  Something sinister stirs in Hogwarts! When magical creatures and students at the school are hit with a debilitating blood curse, Minerva McGonagall approaches the Ministry for help. Star Auror Harry Potter seems to be the obvious choice to go undercover—as DADA Professor, naturally. He’s going to need the help of the Ministry’s foremost expert in blood magic to get to the bottom of the mystery, though, and he’s not entirely convinced that going back to Hogwarts with Draco Malfoy is a good idea. Things are complicated between them—what’s new?—but they know they have to learn to work together (and keep their hands off each other in the corridors) in order to solve this case. Luckily for them, Hogwarts itself wants to lend a hand. A tale of love, lessons, and learning to really live. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Way Down by lettered Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  65615 Tags: nervous breakdown, Social Anxiety, hermit Harry, Powerful Harry Summary:  Harry is overwhelmed by his own power and fame and angst, so he's become a hermit. Draco Malfoy is tired of the melodrama. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di Rated:  Explicit Words:  93189 Tags: H/D Fan Fair 2019, Secondary Theme: Travel Fair, Secondary Theme: Book Fair, Commercial Fisherman Draco Malfoy, Failed Writer Harry Potter, Depressed Harry Potter, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Muscular Draco Malfoy, Recluse Harry Potter, Angst, Smut, Drama & Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Second War with Voldemort, Wandless Magic, Boats and Ships, Finland (Country), Fishing, Redemption, School Reunion, Minor Draco Malfoy/Original Male Character(s), Anal Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Magic, Suicidal Thoughts, Near Death Experiences, Magical Theory, POV Alternating Summary:  Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography. An invitation to the Hogwarts class of 1998's 15th reunion isn't welcomed by either of them, but neither could predict how the night, and their reunion, will upend their lives. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 And One To Play by tackytiger Rated:  Explicit Words:  21777 Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Draco Malfoy, Auror Partners, Rimming, Friends to Lovers, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Post-Hogwarts, Secret Relationship, Violence, Blood and Injury, Minor Character Death, Hospitalization, depictions of violence, Happy Ending, Competent Draco Malfoy, Magical Theory, Case Fic, Blow Jobs, Major Character Injury, Community: hp_drizzle, HP Drizzle Fest 2019, Police Brutality Summary:  Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter are the best team in the Auror Department, even when they're driving Gawain Robards up the wall. When Malfoy is injured on a mission, it causes Harry's magic to go haywire. Meanwhile, a mysterious criminal is draining people's magical cores and turning them into Squibs. Can Harry stop blowing Malfoy away in time to solve the case? And will Malfoy ever stop trying to get the last word? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Leave Your Mark by Gullviva Rated:  Explicit Words:  26712 Tags: Auror Harry Potter, Violent Sex, Office Sex, Powerful Harry, Jealousy, Blow Jobs, Angst and Fluff and Smut, lots of smut, Top Harry, Bottom Draco Summary:  Harry Potter is known in the Auror Office for his short fuse and powerful magic; a dangerous combination. When Draco Malfoy unexpectedly turns up in his life again, as much of a git as ever, the explosive confrontation that follows is inevitable. But as it turns out, that might have been exactly what Harry needed. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 If an Injury Is to Be Inflicted by shealwaysreads (onereader) Rated:  Explicit Words:  44800 Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-War, Powerful Harry, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Moral Ambiguity, Morally Grey Harry Potter, False Identity, Kidnapping, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Rough Sex, Consensual Sex, Police Brutality, Government Conspiracy, Dark Harry Potter, Sentient Magical House, Murder, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Wizarding Politics (Harry Potter), Intrigue, Blood and Gorefights to the death, Rimming, Anal Sex, Love Bites, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, Choking, Gambling, Corpses, Serious Injuries, Forced Captivity, Scars, Addiction, No actual animals fighting Summary:  If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared. Harry Potter disappeared a year after the Battle of Hogwarts, and with him went all hope for true change in magical Britain. Three years later, Draco indulges himself and attends his first Dog Fight—the infamous underground fights with no rules, no referee, and no points system bar blood on the floor. The game was simple: you win, or you die. A glint of green amidst the blood-red changes everything. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The new guy by MarigoldWritesThings Rated:  General Words:  2612 Tags: powerful!Harry, accidental magic, Auror Partners, Angst, Oblivious!Harry, Tumblr Prompt Summary:  Harry and Draco have been Auror partners for a while now, but with the arrival of a new guy who is definitely up to something, things become strained. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Just keep breathing by Dahlia_Rose_83 Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  55645 Tags: Panic Attacks, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Nightmares, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Not Epilogue Compliant, Slow Burn, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Powerful Harry, Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Harry, Idiots in Love Summary:  Harry had hoped for some peace and normalcy once he'd defeated Voldemort. What he gets instead are nightmares, panic attacks and his magic going haywire. And suddenly his once sworn enemy is the only one he can rely on. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Love and Other Unsafe Medical Practices by Tedah Rated:  Explicit Words:  116854 Tags: Healer Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Ron Weasley, Harry Potter is a reckless idiot, Healing, Injury Recovery, Accidental Bonding, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Minor Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Post-War, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Unconventional Medical Practices, Light Dom/sub, Competent Draco Malfoy, Pining, Occlumency, malicious bureaucracy, does this even count as a courtroom drama?, House Elves, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Child Loss, Angst, copious amounts of angst, Snarky Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy is a delight, Chess, Lesbian Pansy Parkinson, Fashion Designer Pansy Parkinson, Lawyer Blaise Zabini, Happy Ending, Shaving, Kink Negotiation, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, minor sex injury, Explicit Consent, Enthusiastic Consent, magic buildings, Magical Tattoos Summary:  Love is a lot like surgery: sometimes you have to take risks to succeed and most times there are unexpected side effects. Harry is back in a hospital room after an Auror sting gone wrong and nobody is amused at this point. It's starting to become somewhat of a familiar scene for Ron and Hermione. This time his healer is one Draco Malfoy so it's actually a /little/ funny when something goes wrong during recovery. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Burn Your Life Down (but look back to me) by triggerlil Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  35908 Tags: Pining, Smoking, Club owner harry potter, On the Run, Alternate Universe - World War II, Film Noir, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Hurt/Comfort, No Horcruxes, Self-Medication, Alcohol, Infidelity, (not between Harry and Draco), mention of slavery and human trafficking, inspired by Casablanca, LCDrarry, Eventual Happy Ending, Beauxbatons Student Draco Malfoy Summary:  It's been years since destiny walked into an apartment on Rue Azais, and Harry is over it. Really, he is. He has Blaise, he has his work, and if necessary, he still has his memories. But with the onset of WWII, the foundations of his life are crumbling, and suddenly a certain blond man is walking back into his life, asking Harry to make important, and dangerous, choices. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Criminal by The_Sinking_Ship Rated:  Explicit Words:  83499 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Auror Harry Potter, Criminal Draco Malfoy, Card Shark Draco Malfoy, powerful!Harry, smitten!Draco, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Playing House, Domesticity, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, some homophobic slurs/internalized homophobia, but nothing too drastic, Happy Ending, Minor Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Complete, references to past Ginny/Harry, minor draco/omc, Slow Burn, Wandless Magic, Humor, Pining, Top Harry, Topping from the Bottom, Bottom Draco Summary:  Things were going just fine for Draco Malfoy. He successfully conned and counted cards across Europe and America, amassing a small fortune, along with a lengthy rap sheet. That was until he made the grave mistake of returning to England for a high stakes card game and got himself caught – by Harry Potter no less. Now, Draco is stuck in England under Auror Potter’s guard with no friends, no distractions, and no escape. How the hell will he pass the time? And since when did Potter get so bloody fit? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Quicksilver and Phoenix Fire by The_Sinking_Ship Rated:  Mature Words:  4685 Tags: Auror Partners, Wand lore, Magical Theory, Powerful Harry, Mutual Pining, Prompt Fill Summary:  A wizard’s wand is a delicate thing, precisely suited to their magic. To wield another’s wand isn’t just intimate, it’s exceedingly rare. So what does it mean that Harry’s wand responds so beautifully in Draco’s hand? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Crown Witness by slytherco Rated:  Explicit Words:  70321 Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Auror Harry Potter, Mobster Draco Malfoy, Bodyguard Harry Potter, Witness Draco Malfoy, Protective Custody, Enemies to Lovers, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Forced Proximity, mafia, Political Intrigue, Crimes & Criminals, Organized Crime, Explicit Sexual Content, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Wandless Magic, magic kink, Healing, Possessive Harry Potter, Serious Injuries, Happy Ending, Guns, Art, FanartI, llustrations, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Police Brutality, Duelling, Voyeurism, Drinking, Past Drug Use, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Corruption, Auror Corruption, Blood and Injury, Murder, Gun Violence, Face Punching, POV Harry Potter, Hotel Sex, Bars and Pubs, Masturbation in Shower, Hung Harry Potter, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Face-Fucking, Hand Jobs, Frottage ,Rimming, Anal Fingering, Switching, Dirty Talk, Mirror Sex, H/D Erised 2020 Summary:  After the war, wizarding society is oppressed by a new kind of plague—an organised crime group calling itself the Family. When Harry Potter goes to interrogate a potential witness, he doesn’t expect to end up on the run again, trying to keep Draco Malfoy alive, while a manhunt follows in their footsteps, adamant on eliminating the one witness that could ruin everything. In which Harry and Draco learn that the way to each other might just have to go through the dingiest hotels in Britain. ❤️ Read on AO3

[thebrownssociety]

Across The Serververse, Chapter 14

Marvin’s spaceship was already fired up and ready to go by the time Bugs got there. Eyes widening he flung himself at the door just as it was closing and managed to get into the spaceship in the nick of time. Gasping, the rabbit lay on the floor and got his breath back for a few moments before glaring up at Marvin and hissing. “Really? Ya couldn’t have kept de door open a few more minutes?”

Marvin shrugged. “I said 12 hours.” He said, pedantically. “ Everyone else made it on time. Except Porky -but he's still with Daffy. He's not woken up yet - is it my fault you can’t follow instructions?”

Bugs gave one last glare and staggered to his feet. “’Ave we decided who we’re gettin’ next?”

“Yes.” Marvin lit the main screen up and zeroed in on two of the trackers. “After a LONG discussion - during which Tweety had a minor breakdown-”

“It wasn’t a bweakdown!” Tweety snapped. “I just pointed out the advantages of getting Gwanny and especiawwy Speedy back soonew wather than watew.”

Just behind Tweety, Wile.E held up a sign that said. ‘Pointed out the advantages at the top of his lungs and with voice shaking - yes.’

“Call it what you want - the fact is we are now heading towards ‘The Matrix’ Universe. Before you interrupted us we were just deciding who was going to go and get them.”

Bugs frowned. “Tweety, surely? He’s the closest to Granny.”

“I am hewe, ya know.” The canary said, hotly. “And yes, I am going. I just need someone to come with me. Thewe’s no point us aww going, the Matwix is dangewous so Mawvin says he needs as many toons defending the ship as possible. I’ww be fine, I just need one toon to come with me.” Tweety sighed and added. “Nowmawwy it’s be Swy, but he’s not hewe-”

“I’ll go.” Bugs said immediately.

“Weawwy?”

“Whaddya mean ‘really?’ - Not only am I yer older brother, I’m the main character, of course I’m coming wiv ya. Anyway, it shouldn’t be to hard. Our teleporting will work there, won’t it?” He directed the last question at Wile.E, who nodded in response.

“Oh yes. Despite the fact that The Matrix has it’s own physical laws that physics can be bent if you know your way around it and the Matrix’s powers doesn’t cover powers from other planets. If Hermione went there - for example - she’d be able to use her magic. Ditto for the likes of Superman and Wonderwomen. Batman might have more issue because he runs more on gadgets but his physical prowess wouldn’t be affected-”

“But our teleporting will be alright?” Bugs interrupted, keen to get back on task. “And our anvils?”

Wile.E considered. “Teleporting’s definitely alright. Anvils may have to enter ‘bullet time.’ I’d try and avoid gags if I were you.” He advised. “Stick to flying and running - it’ll be easier. And I’d stay away from burrowing.” He added. “I know in theory you can burrow through any surface, but the Matrix may not be the best place to put that theory to the test.”

Bugs nodded. “Got it. Now-” He grinned at Tweety. “-We need to be properly attired.”

Reading his brothers mind Tweety and Bugs spun around creating a dust cloud and when the cloud disappeared they were each wearing a long leather coat that came down to Bugs’s knees and Tweety’s feet respectively.  

The two of them looked at each other and fist-bumped. “Now-” Bugs carefully placed a pair of shades over his eyes. “-Les go get ‘em.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[About an hour and a half later in the land of ‘The Matrix’]

“Be careful.” Marvin warned, as he opened the door. “I believe they’re in a building a few miles away. Teleporting may be the best option.”

With a sharp nod to show he’d understood Bugs grabbed Tweety and teleported to where Granny and Speedy should be.

“We need to remember we can do this.” Bugs yelled in Tweety’s ear, as they travelled. “It’ll come in useful later on in de fic.”

The instance they landed Bugs let Tweety go and struck a pose, expecting to be attacked by goodness knows what at any moment. Nothing happened and Bugs paused and lifted his glasses up to see Granny and Speedy looking at him like he was mental. Which to be fair - as Bugs stood in an empty room wearing a trench coat having just been swiping at nothing - he could see why. “Eh...what’s up, Family?”

“Tweety!” Granny exclaimed, as soon as she saw the yellow canary. “Oh, my Tweety! I’ve been SO worried!” She hurried over and hugged him.

Bugs took a step backwards to give them some space and smiled. A cloud of dust alerted him to the fact Speedy was standing at his elbow. “Hola, Sr Bugs! It is good to see you considering we thought you were dead!”

“Yeah, a lot of people have said dat...” Bugs began.

At that precise second a lot of explosions and general violence started and seemed to be heading towards them at a very alarming pace. Speedy yelled something in Spanish that Bugs assumed meant ‘We’re all going to die! Quick - back to the ship!” And sped of.

Tweety teleported himself and Granny back to the ship and Bugs quickly followed them, not wanting to deal with the ax-crazy matrix people any time soon.

He felt slightly dizzy when he got back to the spaceship, but this quickly faded and he was pleased to see Granny and Speedy being welcomed back by everyone with hugs and laughter.

Marvin was the only one not to join in the celebrations - focusing on getting the ship away from the chaos instead - and Bugs leaned into the wall as the ship accelerated off. 

“Welcome back, Siblings!” Marvin called, over the sound of the engine. “Apologies I can’t hug you, but rest assured I am pleased to see you. Would you like to go back home or are you alright with staying onboard while we pick up Gossamer and Hazel?”

After a brief discussion Granny and Speedy said they were alright for now.

“In that case then...” Marvin said, as he zeroed in on Hazel’s and Gossamer’s trackers. “...We’re off to see the wizard-”

“-The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz!” The others chanted and they all sang the song as the spaceship whizzed through the serververse. 

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #60: Orion

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re building Orion! Variant Human, take the Ritual Caster feat for Find Familiar, done!

Wait, we have to do Artemis too? Fine.

Artemis is mostly an Arcane Archer, with just a dash of Unity Cleric for some extra magic resistance and an excuse to keep your husband within arm’s reach.

Check out the level-by-level breakdown below the cut, or the build summary over here!

Race and Background

Artemis is a God, but sadly they aren’t a playable race, unless Tasha’s Cauldron has anything to say about it. Fortunately, Orion is a Human, and Artemis is forcing herself into his spirit origin. To get the two of you together as quickly as possible, we’re going for a Variant Human, giving you +1 Dexterity, +1 Wisdom, proficiency in the Survival skill (You are a hunter after all), and the Ritual Caster feat, gaining two ritual spells from the Wizard spell list, and the ability to gain more as you find them. Detect Magic will help you find any magical items nearby, and Find Familiar will help you find your husband when he wanders off. (For the sake of stats, we’ll call him a weasel.)

Like the snake sisters, we run into the problem of “God” not being a valid background option. However, you live far away from human civilization and know things no human alive could, so Hermit isn’t an awful pick. This gives you proficiency with Medicine and Religion.

Stats

Put your highest score into Dexterity; you’re the goddess of the hunt, so you’re pretty good with a bow and arrow. Second is your Intelligence- You’re literally a god, so really every one of your skills should be 20, but we also need this to be high for your magical effects. Third is Wisdom; you’re kind of airheaded, but you’re also the Goddess of the Hunt, so you’re pretty good at hunting. Fourth is Constitution. You’re a god, you should be tough to kill. Fifth is Charisma. Nobody quite takes you seriously, but as long as you have your husband’s love, you don’t mind.  Finally, dump Strength, we just don’t need it, and sadly we can’t just make every stat 20 like they should be.

Class Levels

1. Fighter 1: First level fighters get a Fighting Style, and I’d say Archery is a pretty good choice for you. This gives you +2 to hit with all ranged attacks. You also get a Second Wind, letting you spend a bonus action to heal yourself. Artemis doesn’t really have a healing factor, but taking a breather never hurt anyone.

Finally, first level fighters get proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two fighter skills. Your husband’s literally a bear, so you’ve gotten pretty good at Animal Handling, and you’ve got to see your target to hit it, so grab Perception too.

A Longbow will serve you well for your weapon for obvious reasons.

2. Cleric 1: You had to squish down your divinity a lot to fit into your husband’s spirit origin, but some of it still shines through. First level clerics can cast spells using their Wisdom. You’re a Peace cleric, giving you plenty of excuses to stick with your husband. This gives you an Emboldening Bond: as an action, you can bond a number of willing creatures up to your proficiency bonus. (Despite your husband’s protests, he is willing. Depending on the writer.) While they’re within 30′ of at least one other bonded creature, they can add a d4 to their attack rolls, ability checks, or saving throws once per turn. It’s not quite as strong as Medusa’s magic resistance, but we can’t all be snakes. This lasts ten minutes. This is where your husband really shines, allowing you to use this feature on yourself without forcing another party member to hang out with you all the way in the back. Also, you can only make a bond a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus.

Speaking of spells, you can prepare first level spells now! As a unity cleric, you know Heroism and Sanctuary for free. Your husband has a hit point total of 1, so helping him not die might be a good idea. Or help some of your teammates with double digit health, it’s your game. Also check out Ceremony for more wedded bliss, and Sanctuary for extra defense. For cantrips, Thaumaturgy adds a bit of divinity back into your voice, or some other minor effects, Resistance will enhance a creature’s saves a bit; now you can have 2d4!, and Light will make your visual effects all the more stunning when you blast an arrow into someone from 600′ away.

3. Fighter 2: Second level fighters get an Action Surge, letting you take an extra action on a turn once per long rest. Take more shots, or cast a spell and still find time for shooting, it’s all up to you.

4. Fighter 3: Pick Arcane Archer for your martial archetype. When you take it, you learn Arcane Archer lore, giving you the Prestidigitation cantrip, even more magical effects that won’t use one of your two spell slots, and proficiency with Nature. Congratulations, you’re now almost a ranger, but with a better late game. You also start learning Arcane Shots, effects you can apply to arrows twice per short rest, and once per turn. Beguiling Arrow deals extra psychic damage, and if they fail a Wisdom save (8+proficiency+Intelligence Modifier), they’re charmed by a nearby ally for a turn. Enfeebling Arrow is similar, but deals Necrotic damage, and might halve their weapon damage for a turn based on the results of a Constitution save. As far as gameplay is concerned, you’re Euryale on steroids, so it makes sense to start with her kit and build on it.

5. Fighter 4: Use your first ASI to become a Sharpshooter, letting you ignore that first number in the ranges, as well as any cover that isn’t full. You can also take a -5 penalty to hit to deal an extra 10 damage on ranged attacks.

6. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters can make an Extra Attack per action; now you’re firing two arrows a turn, or four with your Action Surge.

7. Fighter 6: Use your next ASI for higher Dexterity, giving you more damage, higher accuracy, and a better AC. I haven’t mentioned it yet, but even though you show up in a dress in FGO, it’s probably best that you’re wearing at least leather armor here.

8. Fighter 7: Seventh level Arcane Archers learn to make Magic Arrows, making your ranged attacks magical for overcoming resistance if you want them to be. You also learn how to make Curving Shots. When you miss an attack, you can spend your bonus action to send it at another creature, and you get to reroll the attack as well. Gods don’t miss, they just aim at something else. Finally, you get another Arcane Shot option. Bursting Arrow overcharges your shot with magical energy, dealing Force damage to all creatures within 10′ of the target (including the target) with no save. Emiya would probably complain that this fits him better, but Emiya would have to do that within range, so you can ignore that.

9. Fighter 8: You get yet another ASI, use this one to become Resilient in Wisdom for better magic resistance. You add 1 to your wisdom, and become proficient in wisdom saves. 

10. Fighter 9: Ninth level fighters become Indomitable, letting you reroll one failed saving throw once per long rest for even more magic resistance. Again, not quite snake quality, but it’s still pretty good.

11. Fighter 10: Congratulations on another Arcane Shot option! Seeking Arrow lets you fire a shot at a creature you’ve seen within a minute, regardless of their cover, or if the arrow would have to go around corners to hit them. If they’re still within range and there’s a path to the target, they have to make a dexterity save. If they fail, they take one arrow’s worth of damage plus some extra Force damage, and you’ll magically know the location of your target (probably from the screaming). A success halves the damage, and you don’t find them.

12. Fighter 11: You get another Extra Attack, letting you fire three to six arrows per turn.

13. Fighter 12: Use your next ASI for better Constitution to get more health and more concentration. You probably shouldn’t get hurt at this range, but maybe there’s two archers in this grail war.

14. Fighter 13: You’re even more Indomitable than before, being able to reroll two saves per long rest. You can’t use them on the same save, but honestly most of your saves are pretty good.

15. Fighter 14: It’s been a hot minute, so lets grab another feat. The Tracker feat from an Unearthed Arcana adds 1 to your Wisdom and learns you Hunter’s Mark once a day for free, or with spell slots. You also get advantage on survival checks to track creatures. Your husband’s a creature, and he probably needs tracking. You’ll get a lot of use out of this.

16. Fighter 15: Your cool magical tricks have been held up by short rests so much it’s almost like you’re a warlock. That all changes today, when you learn the Ever-Ready Shot. If you start a fight with 0 arcane shots, you get one back for free. Speaking of, you get another arcane shot option too! Piercing Shot turns an arrow into an area of affect spell: all creatures within a 30′ line make a dexterity save, taking half damage on a success. Regardless, you also get to add some extra Piercing damage to the attack. Honestly, if multiple creatures are within 30′ of you, you’ve probably done something wrong.

17. Fighter 16: Use this ASI to beef up your Intelligence for higher saves on your fancy arrows.

18. Fighter 17: You get a second Action Surge and a third use of Indomitable, beefing up your defenses and offenses significantly. 

19. Fighter 18: At eighteenth level you get one last Arcane Shot option. Shadow Arrow deals Psychic damage, and forces a Wisdom save or the target can’t see more than 5′ in front of them for a turn. The DM has probably caught on to your “Stand 600′ away and plink at them with arrows” routine, so use this to blind any counter archers they’re sending your way. You also get an Arcane Shot Improvement this level, doubling the damage done by each kind of shot.

20. Fighter 19: Use your last ASI to enhance your Intelligence for even stronger arrow saves

Pros

You have a very long range, putting you out of most combat and more importantly, most spells. You’re carrying along a very fragile husband, so being as far away from fireballs as possible will help his survivability a lot.

Almost all your saves are pretty good, bar Charisma. Add in your Emboldening Bond with your husband to eke out even more saving strength, and maybe even a wedding ceremony for even higher AC. (Does getting your familiar killed count as being “widowed”?) Even if you flub a save, you’ve got plenty of Indomitable uses on standby to fix things.

You’ve got plenty of magical damage available through your arrows, and a variety of types thanks to your Arcane Shots, so you probably won’t have to worry about running into something that resists everything you can throw at it.

Cons

Your arrows have a high range, but that isn’t true for everything. Your spells have much shorter ranges, so if you want to use Hunter’s Mark on an enemy or Shield of Faith on an ally, you’ll have to get in closer and open yourself up to more damage.

You also have a bit of a mobility problem. You don’t have many short range answers for enemies, so if they close in, you’ll have a harder time dealing with them or escaping.

For a majority of this build, most of your skills come from magic or your Arcane Shots. The latter has two uses per short rest, but the former has two uses per long rest. They’re effective, but you’ll have to pick your targets carefully.

Next up: The return of the lizard wizard! (again)

[potteresque-ire]

Drarry Wangxian (The Untamed) AU

Here’s my longwinded excuse of getting Draco to look pretty playing a flute while surrounded by prettier smokey soul-ey things.

- Background: Dementors had once been creatures that fed on happiness and music — the things that nourished souls — rather than souls themselves. Over their tenure in Azkaban and at the encouragement from DMLE, the dementors got addicted to souls as if they were drugs: a pop of happiness at its most intense.

- The post-war Ministry promised to banish dementors from Azkaban, but had no way to do so until Draco Malfoy produced a magical flute from his family’s heirloom. It had been the same flute that’d drawn the dementors to Azkaban centuries ago, and it was Draco’s (great)^n*grandfather who crafted the instruments and composed songs for it. Draco was clever enough to memorise the songs and destroy the sheet music such that the Ministry must come to him for the task, and return the flute to him afterwards.

- Half in gratitude and half to keep Draco under surveillance, the Ministry offered Draco a position in the Department of Mysteries. His task was to find a way to “detox” the dementors, banished but still alive in the North. Draco adopted a baby dementor that’d been destined to die for its inability to kiss, and experimented with ways to keep it alive. On the side, he looked for ways to use Dark Magic for good — an idea that worried / repulsed everyone in the know but Harry, the star of the Ministry and a junior Auror. Harry understood that intention and choices mattered more than the origin of the spells, and he and Draco became friends… and something more. Harry worked with Draco after hours and in the process, learned the songs Draco played to soothe his dementor child, the lullabies that staved off their hunger and put them to sleep.

- Wizarding Britain was attacked by a new form of Dark Magic that destroyed everyone’s Patronuses. Wizards and witches fell into a near-suicidal despair. With his flute, Draco called in the dementors from the North and appealed to them for help. The dementors regurgitated parts of the souls they’d kissed. Joy and happy memories flooded over Wizarding Britain and saved the day.

- However, as the kissed souls had mostly been inmates of Azkaban, the joy, the happy memories were laced with sin. Wizards and witches spent weeks in a crazed, almost mindless state of ecstasy. The more innocent among them danced and mated without discretion. The less innocent looted, raped and attempted murder. The worst among them spoke of the many wrongs the Ministry had done them.

- The Ministry decided that Draco Malfoy was dangerous. He could single-handedly overthrow the Ministry and destroy the Wizarding Wizard if he wanted. He was — and no one should forget that — a Malfoy. Unspeakables were deployed to have Draco murdered. The Prophet was directed to frame him for the destruction of the Patronuses, a plausible lie given that Patronuses were natural predators of Draco’s army of dementors. Draco Malfoy vanished, leaving behind a crying baby dementor in his office that doubled for his home.

- Harry believed in neither the stories nor Draco’s death and went on a search for Draco. He kept Draco’s dementor child alive by feeding them with small chunks of his joy, his happy memories, leaving himself on the perpetual brink of a mental breakdown. The Ministry was terrified of him, but couldn’t sack him because he was still the Chosen one. Instead, it stripped him of all responsibilities and Auror privileges, even reinstated a tracker on his wand for three years. He only got to keep his Auror’s robe for show.

- Harry’s friends pleaded for him to give up on the search. Draco had been gone for years. No matter how the dementors ended up in Azkaban, they said, creatures that fed on happiness were bound to be foul, and Harry, with his store of joy and happy memories almost depleted, had few defences left in him should he encounter the dementors and they turn against him. Harry insisted that as long as Draco’s music was with them, the dementors would do him and the world no harm. Harry’s friends reminded him of the dementor attacks he’d suffered, the fourteen years Sirius Black had fended off the dementors with the hope of seeing Harry alive. Harry stopped talking to his friends. He stopped talking altogether.

- Sixteen years after Draco’s death, Harry heard a flute playing a dementor’s lullaby at the northern edge of the world. He followed the song into the Land of the Dementors and reunited with Draco, who was reborn after a dementor smuggled his soul out of the murder scene. Together, Harry and Draco set off to solve the mystery of the destroyed Patronuses, with the many kissed souls as their guides…

[daleisgreat]

The Wizard

Today I am covering a movie I have been itching to write about here for years. It is an admittedly subpar film from 1989, but seeing it then as a six year old videogame kiddo, I absolutely adored it. Yes I am talking about the 1989 Nintendo adver-film, The Wizard (trailer). I have had a nostalgia-driven love/hate/love relationship with The Wizard throughout my life. Absolutely loved it as a kid, when I got around to re-watching it with adult eyes for the first time shortly after its first DVD run in 2006, I realized a lot of it then was hard to watch and thought the film took itself way too seriously. I embedded an old episode of my old podcast I recently un-vaulted at the bottom of this entry where we do a roundtable breakdown of The Wizard right after its first DVD release in 2006. Watching it again in 2020, I kind of came around to digging it again as you will soon read on to see. The Wizard never got a deluxe edition home video treatment until this year. Its DVD release in 2006, and initial 2018 BluRay release saw a basic home video release with no bonus material other than a trailer. After much fan outcry, Universal finally granted access to home video distributor Shout Factory to release a much desired special edition jam packed with extras. It hit BluRay at the beginning of this year, shortly after the film’s 30th anniversary. If you are unfamiliar with Shout Factory, think of them as the equivalent as the Criterion Edition, but for beloved B-movies instead.

This is a road trip film, where through the magic of Nintendo, a broken family is reunited…..yes I am embellishing, but only ever-so-marginally! After an earlier childhood crisis that is not revealed until late in the movie, nine-year-old Jimmy Woods (Luke Edwards) is left in a quasi-autistic state (his condition is never fully explained). Jimmy consistently runs away from home until his mother decides it is too much and puts him in a permanent childcare facility. Jimmy’s half-brother Corey (Fred Savage) would have none of this treatment to Jimmy and sneaks him out of the facility. Jimmy infamously references ‘California’ throughout, Corey decides to take Jimmy on a road trip to California to see just what Jimmy wants to go over there for. Along the way they meet Hailey (Jenny Lewis), who joins them on the run and helps discover Jimmy’s hidden talents at getting top scores at arcade games. The trio decide to embark to a huge videogame tournament in California they see a flyer for and think that must be what Jimmy is talking about that is awaiting them there. Watching the Wizard now in 2020 compared to the last time I saw it in 2006 what popped out to me was surprisingly the ‘heart’ of the family dilemma the whole film is predicated on. As I stated in my entries here chronicling the seasons of Roseanne, the reason that show is one of my favorite sitcoms is because my family was not too far off from how dysfunctional the Conners were. The Woods family here has their own twisted backstory that gets kind of fleshed out on why the family is split up and struggling to overcome a recent crisis that has had a lasting impact on them. I can relate to that with my various family qualms over the decades, so seeing Corey & Jimmy’s brother, Nick (Christian Slater) and father, Sam (Beau Bridges) go from being on rocky turmoil throughout the film, but managing to put their differences aside to go on the road after them kind of resonated with me a little bit on this viewing.

Nick and Sam playing catch-up on the road is an entertaining B-plot to The Wizard. The father and son team have a comedic foil in one Mr. Putnam (Will Seltzer), a professional tracker of runaway kids who I would imagine would be a realistic good kind of person, but the film portrays Putnam as a ruthless, slimy scumbag in it solely for the money. It is laughable to see Putnam get the villain stereotype checklist treatment. Balding, slicked back hair? Check! Cowboy-collar-string-tie? Check! Always chomping on gum? Check! Weasel-y voice? Double check! During their father-son road trek, Nick introduces his dad to videogames, and soon enough Sam is just as hooked as Nick in trying to conquer the dastardly original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on NES. Videogames are featured predominantly throughout The Wizard and goes to show how big arcades were in the late 80s to the point where you can find a stray machine or two at any gas station or restaurant. Watching Hailey and Corey train Jimmy to get as much gaming knowledge in time for the videogame tournament in Los Angeles was a riot. The requisite-training montage scene perfectly encapsulates NES-mania at the peak of its powers in 1989. As you can see in the linked video it has the perfect training material for any grade school game player of that era in the form of arcade game practice sessions, Nintendo Power magazines and calling the Nintendo-endorsed game counselor’s hotline for pro tips! Countless games are shown off throughout. One of the most recognizable scenes of the film is when Jimmy meets his antagonist in the form of pro-gamer, Lucas (Jackey Vinson) who makes his unabashed love of the Power Glove the must-have NES accessory of the ’89 Christmas season.

Eventually Lucas and Jimmy clash at the ‘Videogame Armageddon’ tournament in LA. They are two of the three finalists and for their final challenge the AWESOME over-the-top host (Steven Grives) bestows upon them a brand new, unreleased game in the form of the madly anticipated Super Mario Bros. 3! The three compete for the next three minutes of film in what is essentially an infomercial for SMB3. Nintendo and Universal timed The Wizard to hit theaters several weeks before the release of the game, which only fueled demand and likely played a factor into SMB3 selling more than 17 million copies worldwide. I vividly remember being on edge in my childhood viewing of that contest finale making SMB3 seem like the coolest game ever, and re-watching it 30 years later the scene still gets me wrapped up all over again! Just click or press here to see it for yourself! Jimmy’s family is so proud of him that the whole family vaguely patches things up in a touching moment at a tourist attraction shortly thereafter to end the film on a feel-good note. As positive as I am on the film so far, it is all in a so-bad-its-good, B-movie way. I could rag on the many imperfections of The Wizard with its out of touch dialogue, overuse of New Kids on the Block in the soundtrack, misrepresentation of some of the videogames and some out of date cultural norms, but as you can tell The Wizard is somewhat of a special film for me so I will leave that to you to scour the Internet for those astutely valid points of criticism.

As I alluded to above, this Shout Factory edition of the film is loaded with extra features. There is 38 minutes of deleted scenes! Highly recommend checking them out, as the deleted scenes mostly consists of early first act backstory setting up brotherly differences with Corey and Nick, and also a whole abandoned sideplot that sees Corey sneak Jimmy out of the childcare facility multiple times to introduce him to the NES and becoming a pro at videogames. Director Todd Holland has a feature commentary track filled with tons of insightful factoids. Some highlights include regretting how unsafe parts of the production were, justifying why a lot of scenes were cut, pointing out a blink-and-miss-it Toby McGuire cameo, fighting to the bitter end to get his feel-good family reuniting ending and how a throwaway joke panning Universal Studios lead to a last minute final re-cut of the film to omit that line due to peeved Universal executives. There are two Q&A panels included totaling an hour and a half. Both feature Luke Edwards along with original writer, David Chisholm and producer, Ken Topolsky. A lot of good anecdotes and memories from everyone involved, but not necessarily required viewing since a decent amount of their responses are touched on in the last of the bonuses. Rounding off the extras are three more behind-the-scenes bonuses tallying up just under an hour. Critical Analysis of The Wizard is a 12 minute look at Jimmy’s childhood trauma and the psychological effects of his condition. How Can I Help You is a six minute interview with a former Nintendo Game Counselor detailing his work experiences. Road to California is the standout making of feature with it being a 40 minute comprehensive look at how The Wizard came to be with interviews with most of the cast and crew. It dissects the casting, selecting the gameplay footage from Nintendo-provided tapes, explaining the ending, making all the cuts down to a 90 minute film, dealing with the critical fallout and the belated public adoration from fans online who grew up with the film and spread the love once it hit DVD. There are a couple heartfelt fan testimonials it included towards the end with some passionate stories from serious fans of the film!

These last several days have been a ride to say the least while taking in everything this Shout Factory edition had to offer. I knew a part of me enjoyed The Wizard in a guilty pleasure kind of way, but taking it all in again with a 37-year old perspective made the family crisis element of the movie, regardless of how corny it is implemented, somehow make an impact on me and appreciate it in a way I was not expecting. Combine that with it capturing the aura of late-80s NES fever, and seeing all the ubiquitous love from the cast, crew and fans of the movie in the bonus feature interviews and it all adds up to The Wizard going from guilty pleasure to childhood favorite that I did not expect to find myself still a big fan of today.

If you somehow quench for more Wizard coverage, then check out this episode of my old podcast I recently re-uploaded to my YouTube channel where we reviewed The Wizard right after its first DVD printing way back in 2006.

Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Not for Resale Pulp Fiction The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[mosquitgo]

VANGUARD TERMINAL MESSAGE SYSTEM: USER “INVECTIVE” - USER “COMMAND”: LOW PRIORITY EXTREME CLASSIFICATION.

~Zavala, you may know I’ve had Hidden following any cold trails on Earth on Yor after the Shadows incident. One of them found something. An audio recording. Remember that lost fireteam we sent as scouts? Their leader apparently wasn’t as inconsistent with his log as I assumed. I attached their recordings below. This is good information to have, but I activated high classification. If this should reach the public, we could have a riot on our hands in a few hours. Anyway, listen through when you can, and find Cayde, will you? He’s disappeared again, and he needs to see this.~

FILE 1(ONE): “ENTRY- 10/12/39”

“I’ll try and keep this journal as formal as I can, seeing as how you might use it for trainings later. Anyway, we’re still on Yor’s trail. We’ve been following the tracks west. We split to a fork yesterday, like you suggested, Karick going out on his own, on account of his being a hell of a lot faster and quieter than the other two of us. Somehow, the old tracker from before Azzir went rogue still seems pretty sound, not that we’ve got close enough to ping him in weeks now. Karick has it, he’s still reporting nothing on. Keep you posted.

This is Janus, signing off for what hopefully won’t be the last time.”

[\RECORD END\]

FILE 2(TWO): “ENTRY- 13/12/39”

“Karick’s cut himself off. He broke radio silence after an hour of me frantically trying to get through, Deimos doing his usual bit of fearing the worst. Told us he was done hiding. We’d closed the distance on Yor pretty good these last couple days, and he couldn’t be far, so Karick was gonna "take him on.”

[REDACTED] idiot sometimes, I swear. Great Hunter, but I worry. Not as much as Deimos, though. He’ll come to his senses, he always does.

[INCOHERENT FROM OFF]

Yeah, I don’t know who the fuck I’m kidding either, Deimos. Anyway, we ain’t setting off right away, as Fallen see better ‘n us in the dark, but crack of dawn, we’re doubling our speed to catch him before he does anything stupid. I’m starting to get scared, I won’t lie to you.

Deimos has started that rhythmic tapping again. Few other things too. Didn’t say anything for fear of restarting the cycle, but he dismantled and assembled his gun eight times. Had that scary intense focus in his eyes, and didn’t make a single slip-up, didn’t move his eyes once. If we make it back, I need a word with him. Can’t afford a lapse mid-fight. Worrying prospect.

This is Janus, signing off for what I hope, harder than ever, ain’t the last time.“

[\RECORD END\]

FILE 3(THREE); "ENTRY: 14/12/39”

“Still nearly nothing from Karick. We got a brief status update yesterday, that’s it. He’s within range of Yor’s tracker, according to him, and we’re within range of his, so all in all me and Deimos can’t be more 'n three, maybe four, miles from Dredgen Yor. Starting to feel real, now. Don’t think this really hit me til now. But yeah. We’re close. Anyway, Deimos is still bombarding poor Karick’s radio with emergency signals, seeing if he can’t get through to him, and me, I’m-

[INCOHERENT FROM OFF]

Shit, are you sure that’s not a malfunction? Are you fucking certain? Bloody hell, does he not look at his radar? Make sure. Alright, give me a second, gotta get this on record.

We just got a ping on Yor. Karick’s been streaming his radar to us so we at least know where he is, and he’s within range. It’s shaky, and barely there, so it’s gotta be around two miles from him. But, I think, can’t be sure now, I think…

I think it’s closing in on him. When we thought we had Yor last week, it immediately dropped out. I.. I assumed it was a malfunction. It was behind us, in the direction we came, so it never seemed possible, but what if he’s been chasing us, not the other way? Could be the only reason we’re alive is sloppy tracking on my part.

Ah fuck it, I’m rambling now. Truth is, I’m scared. Scared for Karick. For Deimos. For my own Ghost. Not scared for myself, though.

I should probably be a little worried 'bout that.

[INCOHERENT FROM OFF]

Thought you said from the West. It was West five minutes ago, right? He can’t have fully flanked him in that time, no fucking way. Yeah, I’ll help you, just let me turn this thing o-”

[\RECORD END\]

FILE 4(FOUR); “ENTRY: 30/12/39”

“This is Deimos. Janus is gone. So is Karick.

No, I.. I shouldn’t say gone. Dead. Both dead. Gone makes it sound like they’ll be back, and frankly, if they come back from that I’ll be fucked. My Ghost, too. Oh bloody hell, my Ghost is…

No. I opened this godforsaken tablet for a reason, and I’m not going off track now. According to Shaxx, when in a stressful situation, you should be as businesslike and methodical as you can. So. Doesn’t get more stressful than a dead fireteam who were like a family, a Ghost with no Spark, no food or sleep for ten days and an "unspeakable abomination” hunting you down. Really good, relaxing, times, right?

Last recording on this thing was shortly before it all went to shit. Karick finally came on comms, close to tears. Can you believe that? I’ve seen him stare down Ogres without flinching, and he was near crying cos of one glimpse of Yor. Guess I would’ve been the same, later, if I was on my own. Makes everything a little scarier.

So anyway, Karick’s going on and on and he won’t listen to us, and then Yor’s tracker is right there on top of him and all we hear is this hideous roar. Nearest thing I can compare it to is a Wizard shrieking. But lower, and just.. worse, somehow. Janus is on his feet straight away, saying something about moving north away from Yor, finding a spot to transmat a ship, but I don’t really hear him. All I hear is that scream, again and again. Janus notices and he backhands me out of my chair. That snaps me awake quite well.

We go with his plan, start north towards the coast, but maybe three, four, hours in we realise that we’re not alone. Janus lets out one hell of a string of swears, and sits down with his head in his hands. So I say, most likely he’s tracking on smell alone, so if we double back on our own tracks, he won’t notice a thing.

We don’t have too many great options, so we do just that. At first, it seems to work, too. Yor drops back off-radar, and we make good time. Two days in, a mile or so from the Dark Forest, we sleep for three hours, and when we wake up he’s gone from out of range to a half mile away. At most. We leg it into the forest as it gets dark. That’s against all protocols, mainly because all of that area is infested with Hive, but there’s something a lot worse on our trail.

We push on. As it reaches complete darkness, we want a light, but giving away our position is a bad idea for a dozen reasons. Yor is closer every minute, and eventually we reach a clearing, and he’s somewhere within 50 yards. Wouldn’t have seen him if it was 5 feet, in all fairness. So we do the usual procedure. Back to back, Janus with a gun out, me with my hands up and lightning between my fingers. Wasn’t the same without Karick. Angles weren’t 100% covered, but it.. but it didn’t feel right, which was worse. He says something about a Stormtrance being very helpful about now, so I go right ahead and tell him that I need total calm to get the necessary state of mind, and that I wasn’t exactly at my most relaxed right then, so fuck off with your Stormtrance. After a while, I have the absolutely brilliant idea of taking out my Ghost to give a “little light.” See what I did there? Typical. Close to death and still with the bad puns.

Anyway, he materialises there, and while I’m adjusting to the change in light, Yor comes out of the bushes like a steamtrain. I’m still half blinded, so he gets to my Ghost. Shreds him to pieces. I once was disembowelled by a Fallen Captain’s sabre, and that was a pleasant experience in comparison to losing my Ghost. He would almost certainly have got me too, but not for the first time, Janus saved my life. Being a Hunter, he adjusted quicker, pulled out a gun, and got three shots off in about a second and a half. Yor veers off into cover behind us, I’m on my knees feeling like I want to die. Janus hoists me up on his shoulders and runs. Five minutes later, somehow we’re both alive. We were probably being played with by then. Three shots in his chest and Yor didn’t slow, just switched course. He could’ve taken us in a second if he wanted, I really think he could’ve. I’d almost recovered then, so I get back on my feet and take the last of my Light and roll it around, letting it grow. Just like Karick used to tell me to practice doing. Got a pretty impressive bolt ready, too. Never thought I’d have to use any of his insane survival techniques, but without them, without him, I’d be dead a hundred times over. Same goes for Janus. Guess we’d all have been dead without each other. Maybe we could’ve given Yor a run for his money, together.

I’m rambling again. Trauma, most likely. Doesn’t bother me. I’ll be dead soon. No sense in ignoring that.

Eventually, I return the favour to Janus. He stops walking all of a sudden, crouches with his head in his hands. Looked like he was having a breakdown, but I’d seen this before. He was trying to capture that weird single-minded focus that Gunslingers use for Golden Guns. Yor comes out again, and I’m ready. He goes straight for Janus, who’s still crouched, knowing I’m on watch. I let him get a couple feet away, and I put a bolt of lightning straight into him. It must really have been a strong one, because he goes down like a sack of shit. Janus finally gets up and pulls that gun out of thin air, and the first two of three nail Yor straight on. As he focuses the third, something…. something weird happens. Yor’s chest sort of opens, is the best way to put it. You know when you put a flame to the centre of a sheet of paper, and it burns outwards? That’s what my bolt and Jaren’s two shots did to him. I was half expecting to see a Worm in there, but it’s… it’s not. Floating in there, suspended in an opening through these fleshy cables, is a Ghost shell. It’s drained, and looks corrupted somehow, but I don’t doubt it was keeping him alive. Could I have imagined the fear in his eyes then? Janus hesitates on the shot, and the hole closes, and Yor lunges out with those long claws, and gouges out a fair chunk of flesh from him. Jaren screams and lets the last shot go, but Yor turns and runs, the damage done. Disappears off the tracker.

We go the other way, secure a safe area to bed down. I check his wound and surprisingly, it isn’t as bad as I thought. I tell him it’ll heal overnight. Him and his Ghost agree.

When I wake up, the wound hasn’t healed nearly as much as I thought, and his Ghost is dead on the floor. Guess whatever Yor did to him was more than a scratch. Infected him, somehow. We’re still out of range for outside communications, so we keep moving. Without Karick, we’re pretty lost. In a few ways.

Two days after that, I wake up in the morning, go outside to find Jaren, and find him dead on the ground. His gun was on the ground beside him, with a note. Let me read it.

“Deimos,

I had to do this. You won’t like it, but you know the healing isn’t happening. Whatever Yor did, it’s still inside me, festering away, rotting me from the inside out. I hear voices now. Screaming. Demanding. Another few days, I don’t know what I’ll do. I could kill you, of do something worse. Take my gun and my pad and go. Leave me here, it’ll slow him down. If you make it, tell them what happened. I hope you do. Good luck.”

There’s a few lines of symbols underneath, engraved in. There’s a pattern to it, and I think I can interpret it, but I don’t want to. Some things are better left undiscovered. Not many things, but some.

I kept moving. Got into a few scuffles with Fallen, but I’ve avoided Taken. He’s on my trail. I left the tracker a few days back, it fizzed out, but at night, there’s this feeling a bit like being watched. Much stronger than that, though. Being hunted, I suppose.

Karick had mentioned experiencing that before, in the big question mark that is his past, but I’ve never felt it 'til now. Terrifying, really.

Anyway, I’ve passed on the report. If I may, here’s my opinion on this situation. You were planning to send more to help us. Jaren Ward, a few others I don’t recognise. Don’t ask how I know, that’s not important. What I request is this; Don’t.

In the unlikely scenario that this file gets home before you deploy them, delay their launch. You have to stop Yor, but don’t make our mistake. Make sure they all know the full scale of what they’re doing. Shit, maybe you have to send an army. Just don’t send them off in a week or two. You’d be sending them to their deaths. Tell them stay together, use Light over bullets every time, and don’t ever stop fighting him, not for a moment. Me and Janus did, and I don’t know about Karick, but Janus is dead for it now. I’ll be the same way in not too long, I expect. He won’t let me get as close to killing him as we did again.

I’m well out of comms range, so I can’t send this anywhere, but I’ve got a barely functional terminal in this old building I’m holed up in, so I’ll save it to that. Hopefully someone will scan this soon, find a recent drive addition. I’m not hopeful.

That was Janus’ job. I worried, he hoped, Karick told us to shut the fuck up and find out ourselves. That was how it worked.

Maybe I’ll see them again, somewhere. Never been one for believing in what I can’t see, but the people who must’ve been in those “churches” in the EDZ seemed convinced, so maybe they were on to something? Maybe I should pray. Here we go.

Dear God, or whoever’s out there, I’d just like to say fuck you. You made a stupid move in killing Karick, and if you do exist, you won’t stop Karick from finding you and hurting you. He’s fun that way. Letting Janus die wasn’t A+ decision making either. That’ll make Karick angry. An angry Karick is the stuff of nightmares. Maybe you’ll leave me alive. If you don’t, we’ll see you soon, buddy.

There we go.

If you’re wondering about why it is I sound so cheery, that would probably be down to the fact that I’m quite rapidly losing my mind from fear. Thing about being a Stormcaller, I can make observations like that without a lot of distress.

I’ve given my report, given you my observations. Do me a favour and give my team a good send-off, okay? A nice sarcastic, passive-aggressive speech for me, a party with as much drink as Cayde can find for Janus, and for Karick… Who knows what he would have wanted. A small affair, anyway. Quiet. Same way as he operated. Under the radar. He lived as a mystery wrapped in a question mark to most people, so I think let him die like that.

That’s about all I can think to say. I’ll leave you with something Karick said a couple of times.

“Goodbye, and if I’m alive tonight I’ll buy you all a drink.

But that’s not looking too likely.”

[\RECORD END\]

TRANSMISSION END

[projectlabsco]

21 Best Timekeeping Software of 2020

There are so many tools to organize timekeeping that it’s often hard to figure out what would work better for your team. Tools available on the market provide different features and options. In this selection, we’ve collected the most popular timekeeping apps. We’ve divided them into three categories by timekeeping method: manual entry, clock in and out and automatic activity tracking.Manual entry Manual logging of time spent on work assignments provides managers with very detailed data on where exactly their employees’ time goes. It is used mostly in knowledge-based fields, for example consulting, IT, architecture, etc. – but sometimes also in manufacturing, construction and other areas where workers tend to switch between several tasks during their workday. The primary purpose of collecting this data is usually billing customers and processing payroll. However, the data collected by manual entry tools is also used to analyze business processes, handle performance issues, improve productivity, and optimize the work process. actiTIME actiTIME is a simple and robust tool for work management and timekeeping that uses manual entry method. It allows employees to record time they spend on various tasks, leave comments on their time entries, and keep record of overtime and various types of paid time-off. Employees and managers can see time-track data summary for any specific period with a detailed breakdown of how time is spent. For managers and business owners, actiTIME offers a robust and flexible reporting module. Data represented in actiTIME reports gives valuable insights on time and costs of performed work. BeeBole BeeBole helps teams keep track of time they spend on work assignments. The tool also allows to track vacation and leaves of absence. To get timesheets filled out on time, the app sends out automatic reminders and, to encourage good timekeeping habits, allows setting up a reward system. eBillity eBillity offers useful features for remote employees and teams: it supports time entries from any device, includes team messaging, and allows GPS tracking to verify employees’ locations. The tool also offers a billing module that helps keep track of expenses and billable amounts for performed work. Legal module by eBillity is designed for lawyers and includes various legal features. Everhour Everhour is a timekeeping and resource planning tool. It allows to track time for work assignments, calculate budgets, and schedule future work. The app provides managers with their team’s performance statistics to evaluate work progress and make adjustments if necessary. It also integrates with other tools used for work management, collaboration, accounting etc. Hyperlogs The app allows logging time from desktop and mobile devices and get insights on team’s work progress. On the basis of collected data, managers can run performance reports and accountants can prepare invoices. Hyperlogs also helps get insights into project costs and get visual cues when any workflow adjustments are necessary. MinuteDock MinuteDock offers timekeeping, billing and progress monitoring functionality. It supports manual time entry, allows creating reports for clients based on collected time data, set targets for individual employees and teams, and monitoring current results. What’s more, it can be integrated with accounting systems for more efficient management of billing data. Clock-in and -out Clock-in and –out tools are mostly used in the fields where employees need to be available within defined working hours – possible areas are consultancy, banking, support, etc. Another common application is organizing shiftwork, which applies for both field and on-premise workers. Software tools of this type are intended to allow managers to monitor attendance and tardiness. They usually don’t provide details on how time is spent by an employee, so this option works best for the teams where people normally work on one single task throughout the day. CKZ Time Clock The tool allows tracking of time expenses with start and end timestamps. It’s not possible to specify tasks you’ve been working on, but you can select time types: regular work time, paid time off, non-paid time off, vacation, and sick leave. The software has simple built-in reports for payroll: managers can prepare an individual report for any employees or all company’s employees, and a payroll totals report. ClockIt ClockIt is an attendance management tool that supports tracking attendance, time expenses, and geolocation. The tool helps record work hours, breaks, overtime, vacation, etc. Employees can punch in and out from the web application, mobile devices, kiosk, or biometric fingerprint readers. The tool prepares attendance reports and sends them to employees and managers. Jibble Jibble allows clocking in and out from mobile devices and web application – biometric login (by selfie) is also available. The app collects statistics, prepares performance reports for employees and managers, and sends out daily, weekly or monthly alerts. For clock-in at a physical location, the app allows to set up an iPad kiosk – you only need a tablet with an Internet connection and Jibble app installed on it. Time Clock Wizard The app provides clock-in and scheduling functionality, which makes it convenient for organizing shiftwork and monitoring attendance. Time Clock Wizard allows creation of daily, weekly and monthly schedules, shift change requests by employees, and time-off requests. It also can turn any tablet into a wall-mounted or desktop kiosk for on-premise clock-in and –out. OfficeTimer Office Timer helps get real timestamps on employees’ entry and exit from work. It can be integrated with existing biometric attendance management systems to manage attendance and tardiness data more efficiently. The tool also allows logging time for specific work assignments and preparing expense reports for invoicing and billing. PrimaERP PrimaERP is a timekeeping and billing tool for office and remote teams. It helps record attendance and work time spent on tasks, specify breaks, and track billable amounts based on work costs. Its mobile app allows clocking in and out in the field. For management and monitoring purposes, time records can be easily exported out of the program and emailed per click. The tool also includes performance overviews of employees and teams, and real-time view of team’s work. Time Clock Free Time Clock Free allows recording employees’ attendance, absences, shifts, and PTO accruals. The tool offers clock-in by web camera photo and face recognition, punch-in from home, and landline telephone dial-in for employees who work on remote sites without Internet access. The app is simple and offers customizable reports for managers. Automatic activity tracking As the name suggests, this method doesn’t require any employee’s actions: the data is collected by the software automatically in the background mode. This method is often used by teams where employees are not actively involved in work types that don’t require any devices. Managers can access the data summarized in activity reports, and see screenshots that are also automatically captured. Among the arguable effects of this method, impaired work environment and low data accuracy are worth mentioning. While being a recognized measure against low morale and poor discipline, automatic activity tracking tends to undermine trust and demotivate teams. As activity trackers only log time spent working on devices, such types of work as meetings and communication are not taken into account. ActivTrak This tool organizes activity monitoring within a team. It automatically tracks what users of company’s workstations are doing in real-time mode and captures screenshots. The tool also handles suspicious activities by sending alerts, blocks malicious websites, and monitors web traffic. Its activity alert feature supports various actions in case of a possibly harmful activity: from an email alert to remotely terminating an application. ObserveIt ObserveIt is targeted to handling insider threats: according to the authors, most attacks are carried out by insiders, not by outside intruders. An insider threat happens when someone within the company misuses their access to sensitive data, which negatively impacts company’s protected information or systems. The tool detects security risks by identifying risky activities, investigates users’ suspicious actions, and prevents risks with real-time alerts, blocking, and education. ManicTime ManicTime runs in the background and monitors user’s activities on the workstation. It keeps information on what apps a user has been using and for how long, what websites they visited, and what documents accessed. It works offline and keeps all recorded data on the user’s local machine. This way, it helps achieve accurate timekeeping records for individual users and teams. Chrometa Chrometa automatically tracks computer-based work time. Mac and PC editions are available. Records are based on documents, apps and websites a user is accessing, and time they are spending working on them. After the time is recorded, users can assign it to specific projects and tasks – manually or automatically with keyword-based rules. The app also supports timekeeping data export to various billing and accounting tools for further processing and invoicing. DeskTime DeskTime keeps track of computer-based activities throughout the workday and helps identify and eliminate time wasters. Managers can also activate screenshot capturing for detailed monitoring of where their team’s time is going: the app takes screenshots of what employees are working on every 5-30 minutes and automatically highlight those that indicate unproductive activities. This tool also offers the private time option that can be enabled if an employee has to do something work-unrelated during their workday. While the option is on, DeskTime doesn’t track user’s activities. PCLogger PCLogger is a secure automatic monitoring and timekeeping app. It records employees’ activities and evaluates their engagement by the 0 to 100% scale depending on how much time they spent on their work duties. The app also keeps apps and websites history for detailed monitoring and analysis. PCLogger has been audited to ensure security, and uses Microsoft certified data centers. Qbserve This app for Mac is designed to analyze individual productivity trends and improve performance. It automatically captures activities and sorts them by categories: productive, neutral, and distracting. The tool can turn the collected data into timesheets with activity summary, timelines, and notes, and create productivity reports for days, weeks and months. For users’ privacy, there’s an option to ignore private browser tabs or to pause tracking. The collected data is stored on the local computer. SCREENish SCREENish is an automatic time tracker with screenshot capturing. It runs on desktop or mobile devices and records user’s activities. The tool takes screenshots, monitors activity levels, and tracks what apps are being used. It allows using collected data for payment calculations with its built-in prefilled payrolls, and see in-depth reports on team’s productivity. Summary Whether manual entry, clock-in and -out, or automatic tracking has been proven to work best for your company, selecting the right tool is essential for the efficient implementation of this procedure. Functionality and features provided by your software tool define what data you’ll be able to collect and how much value you’ll be able to get from it. Carefully review possible options to choose the best solution that will work for your team. from WordPress https://ift.tt/3awtD5h via IFTTT

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, 3x50

Welcome back to the feature that no one asked for but everyone wanted, the Wizard Breakdown Tracker. As a reminder, in the context of Campaign 3 Caleb Widogast is an NPC and will be included, but we are sticking to wizards who have explicitly made an appearance in Campaign 3 AND are confirmed wizards. That's right: do not fucking @ me about Oremid Hass.

Caleb Widogast: the man, the myth, the non-werewolf himself. Dirt Wizard has become Dust Wizard. Anyway, let's consider the scenario. He's hanging out with Beau so that's good. He got to watch a bunch of dumb idiots take down a mecha, which I think he'd enjoy. He's tracking Ludinus Da'leth, his current greatest nemesis now that Trent's been rotting in prison (presumably? Ludinus did apparently break out but also Trent has the spicy collar for naughty wizards who bark too much at teen prodigies perma-glued to his neck. Plus it's been 7 years so maybe he just fucking died). However, it sounds like things went a little sideways in the Shadowfell, he's wearing a fucking high collar with a scarf in the desert which cannot be comfortable, and, as has been far more eloquently pointed out elsewhere, this is his only apogee solstice and he's spending it dealing with Ludinus's bullshit. Man is cranky. 6/10.

Planerider Ryn: well. she is currently a rock. technically there are benefits to this, but they do not outweigh the considerable drawbacks. 0/10 breakdown because she's unaware of anything happening, but I'm going to guess...7/10 on the mohs hardness scale?

Gus of the Green Seekers: This is all well above his pay grade. He's probably chilling out in Jrusar, trying to make it work with Ogdes. 2/10 because the paperwork sucks.

Tuldus: Is he dead or is he just trapped with Baryn and Ebenold in the fire plane? Unclear. Who cares! He is, as Ryn said, a fucking idiot, and I doubt he's been left to run free, and also, go to fucking therapy and leave everyone else alone, dipshit. 9/10.

Ludinus Da'leth: I must admit. I will hate to see him go; he's a fascinating villain and it's incredibly possible that he has been using the Cerberus Assembly for its entire existence as a wizard council body to try to kill the gods because of misplaced generational trauma, which is the sort of long-game elf wizard machinations I live for. With that said his plan sucks and is terrible and countless people would die for no reason. I suspect he's got a clue that Beau and Caleb are on his trail, and also, I bet he fucking hates this weather just as much as Caleb does, and the Feywild Key is leveled and the Shadowfell Key damaged and there's sand EVERYWHERE. 8/10. FINALLY, we've gotten under the skin of Exandria's smoothest wizard operator.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Mighty Nein Reunited, Part 2

Gather ye wizards while ye may, though with the return to Campaign 3, we are finally headed to Yios, where there are wizards, once we finish with the Gloomed Jungles, where there are were-creatures, which are also very cool. The hierarchy is, as always: paladins; wizards; were-creatures; literally everyone else; dhampyrs, kalashtar, changelings, and "hey DM, can I play a tiefling bard with intelligence 7". But I digress.

Ludinus Da'leth: So at this point (ie, shortly post-this episode), Caleb, known bridge between the Cerberus Assembly and the Cobalt Soul, has taken a job at the Soltryce Academy, which means any efforts to make a new, slightly more palatable volstrucker program and quietly keep it from Archmage Becke are going to go straight out the window. The walls are closing in, and he doesn't even know that Jester can go to the Feywild. 7/10.

Astrid Becke: Caleb listened and took the job! That's one success in what's got to be a thankless new position in many ways. Also I still really want to know who the hell has become Archmage of Antiquity, or if the Assembly just writes that one off as "make a deal to bring back a powerful Age of Arcanum entity and raise it to godhood once, shame on you; make a deal to bring back an powerful Age of Arcanum entity and raise it to godhood twice, shame on us and also what the fuck are we going to do with two nickels in a society that uses gold, silver, and copper currency." 3/10; Astrid's doing better than she ever has in this tracker, and good for her.

Eadwulf Grieve: Caleb is still keeping him in mind, which is good, because he really is like...look, he's a wizard, so he's not dumb muscle, but compared to his two former lovers he's very clearly the 'And Peggy' of the bunch. On the other hand this means he's probably just organizing the Temple of the Raven Queen Yulisen Night Potlucks and inventing the Exandrian equivalent of Minnesota Hot Dish or something. 0/10.

Yussa Errenis: Is aware of the storm on the horizon. Is chilling in his tower. Is largely unbothered. Other people pointed out that while he has developed a reputation for fucking around and finding out, he has also technically never physically left his tower to do so, which is honestly impressive, but does explain why Beau did not have to bamf out a partially dissolved old wizard when she ended up in Uk'otoa's gullet. Anyway, glad he's keeping up with Caleb and making potions. 3/10, for being aware of the storm.

Allura Vysoren, whose name I keep misspelling: Yasha did give Kima back the sword, and Caleb doesn't seem to have her staff, and she helped make a new, cooler sword! 2/10 for League of Miracles reasons only.

Essek Thelyss: Still under a lot of political pressure, regardless of where he is...but he's also getting, as Figueroth Faeth would say, his kisses in, so better than I expected! 5/10.

Caleb Widogast: So here's the thing. It is, as the other post said, about the green beans. And it is, as my last iteration of this said, not time for deep Caleb meta in here. But I do have a lot of thoughts about the similarities between Caleb and Fjord, as I always do, and about how neither of them really had much of an understand of what happens in their life past That One Big Thing They Need To Do, having already woken up at some point and been like *Mitski voice* I used to think I'd be done by 20. I do feel that the Caleb Widogast of part 1 of this two-shot was truly a Caleb Widogast who could go either way re: the T-Dock usage, and the Caleb Widogast of part 2 of this two-shot is not; the event has not (in my understanding, at least) occurred but the decision has unconsciously been made. Also he's dating Essek and he gets to have Dragon Time, which sounds like Floor Time but better. He does get a 4/10 though, because he takes it upon himself to become the Mighty Nein's Social Event Coordinator. As someone who just had to cancel a carefully scheduled D&D session for tonight because I am sick but also the DM and if I have to talk for 2 hours while simultaneously using my brain I will cry, this is very stressful.

Veth Brenatto: Camp's going great! Only one kid died, and not permanently! 1/10.

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: Oh so the demigod leviathan CALAMITY SNAKE gets released from its prison beneath the sea, three seals in three temples broken in under 18 months, and yet, I, Halas Lutagran,

Bonus!

Warlock Breakdown Tracker

Fjord: For real? Who knows. I personally imagine that it does, as they say, briefly go to 11, because though Uk'otoa is dealt with and Zehir seems to have understandably gone "you are way too interested in love and the ocean for me to give a shit, I'm going back to bed", Fjord (not unlike Caleb) has to sit with the fact that he's done with that and he's happy OH GOD HE'S HAPPY WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE DO WITH THIS. Also he has to deal with the orphanage, which is going to be traumatic and unpleasant for sure, plus you know someone named "Grankton" is going to be holding a massive grudge against the world at large. But with time, it settles back down somewhere more reasonable, only to briefly spike and resolve again during Kingsley's little maneuver. So you know. Some numbers, probably.

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Mighty Nein Reunited, Part 1

GUESS WHO'S BACK

BACK AGAIN

SOUP WIZARDS

TELL YOUR FRIENDS

Hello and welcome to the return of the Wizard Breakdown Tracker, a late Campaign 2 feature that I realized just now I should have also done for EXU Calamity, but also good news, it's all, eventually, 10/10, pretty much all the wizards die except for possibly Volucia who noped the fuck out to Cael Morrow, and Maya Agrupnin who was Assigned Wizard By Patia. There. EXU Calamity Wizard Breakdown Tracker.

Every D&D game is better with wizards. As Liam O'Brien once said, "what's sexier than wizards? nothing." Now, to be fair, he also once said rogues were the best class when you and I and Brennan Lee Mulligan all know it's paladins; but we can all agree re: the sexiness of wizards. It is my hope that we have more wizards in the future, but for now, we shall cherish the wizards we once had, and that we briefly have again.

Because we're not touching base in this two-shot with a large number of our erstwhile arcane allies and antagonists, and in the service of a joke at the end of this post, we are including our Wizard PCs this time! Let's begin.

Lady Vess DeRogna: She was not in this episode nor mentioned but she WAS in The Nine Eyes of Lucien and she WAS talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, etc. No spoilers for that here. Just wanted you to know that Lady Vess DeRogna is still dead. But like, probably 7/10.

Ludinus Da'leth: Per Beau, the Assembly's gotten awfully quiet lately, and per Caleb, Astrid's been trying to set him up with a professorship, which Ludinus can't really spike because he did offer the Assembly seat to Caleb first so it's weird to say that he's qualified for propaganda minister and not transmutation professor. The Mighty Nein have made this slippery motherfucker sweat so hard that apparently he started making deals with the Feywild. 6/10.

Trent Ikithon: Hey Trent! Bitch.

As previously stated, 9/10.

Astrid Becke: Trent's in jail and she's apparently doing pretty well and is either happy to help Beau's investigation, or helping Caleb without realizing that Beau really wants this. Probably the latter, but we love to see a complicated morally gray queen flourish, though I suspect she's having Beau-like growing pains into her new and fancy job. 4/10.

Yussa Errenis: You can just sense, from his brief response to Jester, that he absolutely knows that the Mighty Nein saved his ass twice and that he will need to call them if he gets trapped on the moon in 7 years, but also he is sleeping, dammit. Secretly glad they keep in touch; really unamused at having 14 people dripping seawater in his tower, because Tidepeak is really more of a turn of phrase. Also if he knew Veth was starting up a camp he would be very slightly hurt she hadn't asked him to teach anything but also if she asked him he would 100% turn it down. 2/10. Never change, king.

Essek Thelyss: We could get all poetic about the yearning but realistically, he's still at the outpost, getting more and more twitchy but also managing to visit Caleb regularly. Possibly hooking up? But that might just be a reference to the bit and general vibe of the episode. Anyway he's probably feeling kind of bad, but hey! We know he ends up in Uthodurn eventually, and then gets to go back to Aeor only to be part the most simultaneously intense and oblique confession of love of all time. So probably 6/10 but buddy! It gets so much better, and pretty soon no less!

Caleb Widogast: There's good meta to be had about Caleb Widogast, six months later, and you are NOT going to find it here, in a post that's about shaking up wizards in an empty Pringles can. Well, at least not much. As indicated above I think this is likely pre-Aeor excursion with Essek; but Caleb feels like he is tentatively and hopefully building a life. It's slow, and it's a little quiet and small right now, but the fact that he's able to do so on his own is itself an immense victory. He probably gets to have lunch with Beau and dinner with Essek at least once a week each, he has a little cottage and his tower, and he's already becoming a beloved teacher. And he leveled up! 3/10. We love to see it.

Veth Brenatto: Jitters about her camp notwithstanding, she's fucking thriving. They're working on the apothecary but in the meantime she's finding a balance of what she loves to do professionally while still staying with her family, she's keeping in touch with the rest, and she's absolutely on point, astute, and hilarious this whole episode. And she is definitely using Tenser's Floating Disk for sex purposes. 1/10. It's Veth Brenatto's world; we're just living in it.

Allura Vyesoren: Pending, depending on what sword Yasha brings out next episode and whether Caleb turned in the staff. TBD/10.

Bonus!

Warlock Breakdown Tracker

Fjord (Stone?): Oh honey.

It's at least five simultaneous breakdowns and they're recharging with each rest like his spell slots. You know how one of the Uk'otoa temples had a hydra? It's a metaphor, or whatever. 10/10.

[utilitycaster]

Fighter Breakdown Tracker, episode 3x78

Welcome to what was originally an opportunity to talk about the myriad wizards (not Myriad wizards, a separate concept) of Campaign 2 that occasionally gets co-opted into other things when the thought arises. Anyway, obviously the main event was the Barbarian Breakdown and, relatedly, the Party Breakdown, due to their Communication Breakdown, giving Allura Vysoren specifically her 19th Nervous Breakdown, but I've already talked a lot about Ashton. How are the fighters doing?

As a reminder: characters are included on the basis of 1. are they a fighter, 2. are they remotely relevant to this campaign, and 3. do I have something funny to say about them. I cannot stress enough how important item 3 is in the decision process; do not make requests, my muse speaks to me and that is how the characters (and, to be honest, classes) are chosen.

Cassandra de Rolo: Yes! According to the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting (not reborn) she's multiclassed into fighter! Anyway that plan to go to the ziggurat went well, huh? totally normal and great. I like to think that due to her rogue levels she saw Fearne march down the ziggurat steps and just peaced out and has been chilling in Pike's little cabin ever since. 4/10: normal "is the world ending" concerns but otherwise she's having maybe the best day anyone on the Whitestone War Council can.

Jarett Howarth: he's specifically avoiding Bells Hells because motherfuckers keep teleporting from Marquet and not bringing any fusaka. This, plus normal "putting the Pale Guard on a war footing and also there's a really mad goat lady in the garden" bumps him up to a 6/10.

Orym: my serious thoughts about the space made for Chetney, FCG, and Imogen to step up aside I honestly think the semi-joking narrative of Orym going off in a huff and working out his feelings quite literally via the power of elaborate bodyweight calisthenics of the sort that grant you 20 Dex and 10 Str would be good for him. Allow yourself a little pettiness, Orym; it's good for the soul. 5/10 because I don't fucking know; we'll see next game.

Ariks Eshteross: I hope he's at peace and buried next to his love as requested; I still haven't gotten around to making those cookies actually and frankly I've had much more of an eye on the gunpowder tea shortbread. 0/10; I like to think he has found true rest.

Bertrand Bell: These motherfuckers have not visited the grave of their namesake at ALL. Traipsing around the Raven Queen's temple - literally everyone but Laudna and FCG has wandered over to that corner of the city - and NO ONE has taken a moment to pause and reflect. He died as he lived: everyone kind of setting him aside for more important matters except for followers of the Raven Queen. 8/10 because hopefully he was entertained by the raven show that got put on but also, come on man you couldn't stop by at all?

FRIDA: I have to imagine things in Vasselheim are wild and it's going to be missing FCG hours, but at least they're in great company! 5/10; they're a pretty even-keeled robot all things considered but the situation is pretty tense.

Otohan Thull: My sole regret about how great this episode is and the fact that we're dropping into the Fey Realm for a bit to have some much-needed time to regroup is that we are likely delaying their richly deserved demise. Anyway everyone's beloathed Palpatine knockoff is unfortunately super unflappable; another reason why they are boring as shit and why I very much want Bells Hells to make the bridge a little bit bloodier on the way up. 3/10.

Percival Friedrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III: Here's the thing. All things considered, his personal position is stressful, but not terrible. The ziggurat did not blow up; Gwen appears to either have not told him about her Delilah incident or did so in such a way that he didn't realize what was going on; he doesn't seem to have noticed the break-in into his parents' bedroom yet; Allura was reassuring re: Whitestone likely being safe (although...it's on a ley nexus so watch out!); and he got to deliver the line "ever since I met you, I knew you were destined for stupidity" which is actually how he specifically blows off steam. On the other hand, every single window in the castle has been destroyed, Allura had to leave, and I just checked and confirmed that Pike does not have the mending cantrip. Maybe one of the local clerics does? Maybe one of his kids does? Maybe Vilya or Ebenold does? Maybe Grog's in town and can be convinced that the role of the Grand Poobah etc etc is fixing windows? 6/10.

[utilitycaster]

This campaign does have wizards aplenty, from our allies and guests (let's hope someone can fix Ryn; wonder how Vasselheim is treating Prism) to the antagonistic figure of the millennium himself, Ludinus Da'leth. And Halas is, of course, still in his gem. I have briefly touched on them, in fact, when they converged upon Tishtan to fuck around and find out. But this isn't about them.

Whose world is at stake here? Who is being shaken at their very foundation? Who is out here kicking ass, taking names, making pacts, and killing birds? And so it's my dubious and self-inflicted honor to present:

The Cleric and Paladin Breakdown Tracker

Episode 69

(nice)

The rules, for those not familiar with the shifting set of guidelines I frequently employed: this is a non-exhaustive list (that means that if I don't have anything funny to say about an NPC we haven't seen in 20 episodes do not ask me where they are. they haven't been seen in 20 episodes). Spinoffs into sorcerer, druid, or other territory may occur as the plot demands, but for the time being we're sticking with the god squad.

Weva Vudol: Matt described her genesis as a person who abides by the Andrew W. K. creed; she does what she likes and she likes what she does. While adherents of the Raven Queen are probably having a rough time of it, no resurrection does mean Speak with Dead is probably having a real moment right now, and honestly she's weird enough to possibly dig the vibes of Jrusar at the moment. 4/10.

Deanna Leimert: It's been a few days but I suspect things are still highly tense between her and Sunny D, and going to God City Central probably doesn't give her much time to relax and regroup. Also I have to imagine Vasselheim is going to be MAD WEIRD about an aeormaton and a wizard. 7/10. Holding it together but I bet any stitches of her knitting right now are impossibly tight (if that's how knitting works idk I'm a crocheter myself)

FRIDA: Speaking of, here's the aeormaton themself! They were feeling bad upon separating from FCG. They needn't have worried (see below) but they don't know that, and yeah I think the vibes in Vasselheim for them are going to be iffy already and the fact that the city is (highly understandably given their history) going into lockdown, probably a bit on edge! Hopefully Bells Hells remembers to ask Keyleth to give them a message or something. 7/10. (She's not on here but I like to think that Prism is THRIVING despite having frowned-upon magic. I think she's having a GREAT time, and I hope she joins the Slayer's Take, I think it would be good for her.)

Unnamed Duskmaven Cleric in Jrusar: I do not know why the Duskmaven clerics dress like Sofina Honoramongthievesvillain, but they do. Anyway rather like Weva Vudol, while things are bad I think that the Raven Queen's clerics tend to have a sort of implacable calm about them (see also Lieve'tel, who is not on this list). 4/10.

Teven Klask: Too hot to be bothered. A little confused by the edicts of Asmodeus re: the truce though. Just like a Betrayer to not explain the situation. 3/10.

Yu Suffiad: I love when people think Yu was some kind of genius of strategy because not only did they get figured out by a tiny unhinged werewolf gnome man, they, far more crucially, bargained away the artifact needed to power the Malleus Key until after the solstice. Literally their entire mission was "hey we need this object before the solstice, to be used in a machine on the solstice, for the solstice" and they were like yeah I'll get it in a month, sounds fair, and then the people they let get away destroyed the machine that was supposed to use it. Anyway with that in mind I'm assuming their dumb ass got shoved into a mirror by Zathuda, whom I would like to see again, because the return of the Silt Verses has reminded me that menace in a Scottish accent is always a fun time. 9/10.

FCG: You know, bit of a rollercoaster for them! He's had some good Commune answers and some less so Divination answers; he can't get drunk; the Staff of Dark Odyssey did NOT play nice; Dancer's still understandably afraid of him; Shithead has finally been lay to rest. I think it's going to be straight down the middle for a while, honestly; such is the nature of adventuring. 5/10.

Pike Trickfoot: Zero idea of her mood right now actually, like I assume Sarenrae has been freaking out but that's the extent of it, so she's here more because either she is blissfully unaware that Delilah was below detectable levels when Laudna came back, in which case like 4/10, or she has been harboring a dark secret in which case more like 8/10.

Jester Lavorre: SENDING IS DOWN THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN 10/10

Caduceus Clay: I have to imagine the Wildmother has made her concerns clear. Also, Molaesmyr was, when last we left it, sort of on fire, which can't be like, great for him. Time to see if 7 years have improved upon his coping mechanisms. 7/10.

Fjord: Improbably, a wildcard. Given that Jester's probably freaking out, pushed into a position of stability and calm; given that the gods are definitely freaking out, the Empire is wilding out, and also that I would be shocked if Caleb and Beau didn't let the others in the Nein know that if they don't hear from them for a while, pushed in a position of running around waving his hands like Kermit. 6/10 but specifically taken as an average of 3/10 and 9/10.

Vax'ildan: technically I don't know if he still counts like a paladin but doing so for reasons of comedy. Anyway, not sure what you can give a bowling ball full of screams but an 11/10.

[utilitycaster]

Fuck yeah the wizard tracker is back, I've missed it so much!

Thank you! I have missed it as well, and more generally have missed wizards; as mentioned I may reintroduce it on a "whenever the mood strikes, but more frequently than in the past" basis to C3 or take another shot at the Paladin/Cleric breakdown tracker