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rightsockjin · 3 years

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Summary: Your best friend of your near entire life has been a total asshat to you ever since you started to casually date which didn't seem super fair to you since he did the exact same thing and you were nothing but supportive! It just sucks that you two are growing apart over a coping mechanism that you adopted to distract yourself from your overwhelming crush on said idiot. If only he knew. Wait- did you say that OUT LOUD?

Rating: M (What isn't on this blog?)

Genre: Maybe a little angst? Smut for sure tho.

Word count: 8003

Warnings: Thongs, sex, lewd thoughts, erections, physical pushing, raw dogging, cream pie, mentions of giving head, a looooooottt of swearing, mentions of slut shaming. Oh right- oppa kink and little splashes of korean as well.

yeo-chin= girlfriend

nam-chin= boyfriend

halmoni= grandma

apa=to hurt

aya=expression to express pain equivalent to 'ow'

Author’s note: HI EVERYONE! We are somewhat back!! So sorry for the long wait for content. Things have been insane and we’ve been working on a much- much longer fic for this blog which will involve all of the boys! It’s a long story but this hit me like a truck yesterday and it was initially meant to be a reaction but I couldn’t stop writing… so it’s 7k and the other boys will get their own version of this prompt “best friend is jealous of the attention you give to guys” thing. Starting once again with the one and only Yoongi! Hope y’all enjoy:)

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“You know it’s funny, I don’t remember asking,” Yoongi said virulently, his attention centered solely on his phone as he scrolled through instagram... or twitter... or maybe it was tinder. Your heart sank. You had been excited that this guy- Woojin- had given you attention. He was good looking by a lot of standards and it had boosted your confidence significantly. Of course, you wanted to share that excitement with your best friend. Rejecting someone that good looking always made you feel really powerful and attractive but you had barely shown him Woojin’s picture and commented on how attractive he was before your so called best friend had brushed you off and went back to his solitude and avoidance.

You had noticed that something was off for a while now but hadn’t commented on anything to avoid any conflicts but this was ridiculous. You had constantly listened to the stories of how girls would trickle in like water for him. He seemed to be going out with someone new every two weeks.

It wasn’t fair that you had to put up with his annoying descriptions of how beautiful these girls were while you sat and gave him your undivided attention as your heart slowly chipped and broke with each new conquest of his. Especially when each girl was so different from who you were. At first, you thought that maybe you were annoyed by this simply because it was hurtful to think he didn’t at least think you were pretty. It wasn’t long after that that you realized that it hurt you when he went out with women who were your polar opposite because it meant that he would never date you.

This had been shocking in itself. You had known Yoongi for your entire life, or at least a good portion of it, and you had always seen him as a brother. Your oppa in the least sexual or boyfriend-y form possible, but when you looked at him now… he was looking a lot more like well- an oppa.

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish. His words stung more than you would like to admit. Whenever Yoongi got this snippy, you liked to equal him in snip and double him in sass, never showing how vulnerable his disinterest made you feel, but this time, it felt like he had punched you in the chest with all his force and told you you were ugly to boot.

You didn’t want to cry in front of him either. He’d make fun of you. Last time you had cried, he’d awkwardly pat you on the head and quickly changed the very serious topic of your parents' relationship with yours to something totally different and not even a little relevant to helping you feel better. Given, that had been years ago and he’d never been very good at comforting you nor had he so much as expressed his support of you. Not since that one time when you had broken your wrist and he’d promptly pushed the girl who had been the culprit off the swing set thus getting himself suspended for a week and a half when you were both in elementary school.

But this… this was just cruel. It was ugly. It made you look at your “best friend” in a light that was not so shiny and pristine. He’d changed so much since then. He’d pulled away from you since then and you hadn’t even noticed. Or maybe you had and had just ignored it. Maybe you’d hoped if you didn’t mention it, that it would go away and he would come back full force with one of his dumb dances and pretty smiles. Maybe you hoped he’d realize soon what you had realized in your early twenties.

You loved him. And not the brotherly love that you had always had for him, no, you, Y/N, were very much in love with your best friend. Which made this whole situation so much worse.

When you said nothing, Yoongi briefly glanced up at you from his seemingly important phone conversation with most likely another of his soon to be dates only to look back down.

“What? Cat got your tongue? No snippy rebuttal? You’re not gonna chew me out for being mean to you again?”

His face was illuminated by the blue lights of his screen; he had it at the near darkest setting and his eyes were squinted to see it better. Something that had always annoyed you because you knew it was only hurting his vision.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. When that didn’t help, you cleared it, accidentally catching his attention. He clicked his phone off and looked over at you as if ready to argue but something in your face must have given away your inner turmoil because his hard features softened and his lips fell slightly open.

“Are you crying?”

No. Of course you weren’t crying. You never cried. Not ever. But then your cheeks were wet and the onslaught of emotion seemed to burst. How far had you fallen for this indefinitely cold man that his sarcasm made you fall in hysterics? Far it seemed. Too far.

You angrily wiped the tears away from your burning skin and crossed your arms over your chest. The hoodie you had stolen from him earlier that day felt like sandpaper against your skin as opposed to the comfort you’d initially felt when slipping over your head and smelling the fresh scent of his cologne clinging to it.

You felt him shift on the couch to face you fully, out of the corner of your eye, you could see his features had turned worried, alarmed even but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him nor care. Too little too late.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the still air like a wrong note played in a symphony. It made your head spin and ache.

You didn’t dare speak. It would only give away how truly hurt you were by his words and actions. You didn’t want to be around him anymore.

Abruptly, you stood up and yanked the hoodie from your body. The tank you had on pulled up slightly showing the skin of your belly. It was lopsided, you noted when you looked down and saw that one side was pulled over and under your bra and the other was too high on your chest but you didn’t really care.

Yoongi watched you with conflict evident in his eyes, if only you would turn to see. He hadn’t meant to offend you. He’d only been trying to keep you at arms length. You had also been going out with multiple guys, telling him how good looking and tall they all were. Most of these men were also built like rocks and he himself was toned at best. Contrary to what you thought, Yoongi had come to the realization that he’d been in love with you since you were kids. He did not tolerate when anyone made you feel like shit, and, being a very mature kid, he’d told his mother quite early on that he would marry you someday. Of course, she’d only chastised him and told him that he couldn’t possibly know what love was nor could he force you to marry him, but he was adamant.

He’d stopped telling her about it after that though, and instead of telling you how he felt, he’d opted instead to watch over you and make sure nothing happened. So when in high school, you had started to date and it had not been him whom you had chosen, he’d made sure to keep the sorry excuse of a man you had chosen in line. That was… until the incident.

Yoongi would never forgive himself for not being there. For not stopping the bastard who thought he owned you. He’d never forgive the idiot either and if you hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed him with his bare fists then stuffed his own socks in his mouth.

It was then that Yoongi realized that you deserved better than him, and at the same time, no one was worthy of you. It was a strange dynamic. He’d never once approved of your dates, but had decided to start dating other women because, let's face it, he was a guy and he’d like to have children someday but not even in his wildest dreams could he think that you would ever settle for him. Someone who’d failed you as your self imposed protector.

Not that you knew any of that. You didn’t know that Yoongi often teamed up with your other best friend, your girl best friend to scope out your dates once you’d left. You’d almost caught them once as well and it had been by pure luck and the hair of a very out of place clown that both of them had escaped your wrath that night. You also didn’t notice that after you had fully broken up with that first asshole, he’d threatened to beat him to a pulp if he so much as breathed in your direction once more and later, he’d threatened ‘asshole’ two and three with the same things.

But then your dates had gotten taller and stronger and much harder to intimidate. He’d once made the mistake of threatening a casual date that you’d set up who was at least a solid half foot taller than him and he’d been laughed out of the restaurant only to find out later that the jerk had forced a kiss on you.

No, Yoongi’s days as your protector had dwindled and left him feeling half of the man he’d already thought he was and so his only defense, his only way to keep you safe- though now that he was watching tears well in your eyes he wondered what logic he’d used to justify this behavior- was to be the asshole himself and teach you how to deal with them on a first hand basis.

He hated himself for making you cry. He hated that you looked so dejected and hurt and like you never wanted to speak another word to him again. He hated that your shoulders slumped and that your pretty eyelashes were coated in wet tears and it was all on him.

“You know what,” you finally managed to say with some semblance of calm under the storm that was brewing in the irises he’d so loved, “I think we’ve grown apart a little too much. Maybe we should just- cut our losses and,” you heaved a deep breath, trying to keep yourself calm, “stop seeing each other.”

Were you breaking up with him? How were you even going to break up with him if you weren’t even dating? Yoongi’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He had tunnel vision. All he could see was you and the way that you seemed to pull yourself up from the ground, rebuilding before his eyes.

“Stop see-what? Are you demented?”

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Was that all he was capable of being? Wrong. Incorrect. Inexact. Erroneous. Mistaken. He was plain stupid for the words he’d let slip but there was no taking them back now.

You let your eyes widen as you wiped more of your furiously falling tears from your skin. You turned to face him, your shirt fixed and covering you exactly how it should and your features set and intentional.

“What’s the point? You clearly don’t want to be around me anymore and I’m tired of being berated every time I mention a guy. You’re the most unsupportive friend I have and that’s because I’ve known you the longest. If you don’t want to be my friend just say so instead of slut shaming me and bullying me every chance you get you asshat.”

“Asshat,” he chuckled, crossing his sleeve-covered arms over his toned chest, “real clever, Y/N. Is that all you got, kid? You never were one for words were you? Why don’t you just sock me instead?”

Oh you were considering it. He seemed so unbothered by the prospect of losing you that you realized maybe you had already lost him and hadn’t realized. You had dealt with your fair share of jerks in your life, but you had always counted on Yoongi to be your hope. He’d shown you that there were men in the world that seemed to care about women. Men who could love you even when you felt unlovable, unworthy, but here he was, proving to you once again that all men were the same evil and vile creatures, incapable of love or kindness if they weren’t getting their dicks wet.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? Then you could go around saying that I’m a crazy bitch. You know what? Fuck you Min Yoongi. I hope you get well and royally fucked.” You yelled, grabbing the tote bag you’d brought over from your apartment and stomping to the door.

“Fuck you too,” he yelled, following you to the door. He caught you at the landing strip, prying on your chunky sneakers with a bit of difficulty, your house slippers, the ones he’d bought you, lay haphazardly nearby.

“And fuck all of those asshole guys you keep bringing home. Better yet, I hope you don’t fuck them.”

You turned your head up to look at him, confusion and disgust written all over your face.

“What the fuck do my dates had to do with what a fucking jerk you are?”

Choosing to ignore your question, he focused instead on your insult, “A jerk, am I? Well you’re a bitch. How do you like that?”

He didn’t know why he was insulting you. He didn’t think you were actually a bitch, but the anger on your face made him feel better.

It was followed by near instant regret as you drew yourself up to your full height and looked at him with pure venom in your gaze.

“I’m a bitch?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, trying to keep his shoulders square, but you were scary when angry and he’d never fared well in fights with you.

“I’m the bitch?”

“You heard me!”

You balled your fists at your sides, your eyebrows connected in the center and your breathing was heavy. He knew better than to use the B-word.

“You’re a piece of shit.” It was low but your voice carried and hit all of the bones in his body before it hit his heart and burrowed deep in the wounds he’d stitched up but pulled open multiple times over the years that pertain only to you.

“You are a sorry excuse of a man,” you growled, pushing him by the chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you noted that it felt really firm and stronger than before.

“You’re an ass, Min Yoongi,” you continued, giving him another push so that he stumbled slightly back into the living room of his apartment once again.

“You low life,” another push, closer to the couch, “weak minded,” you shoved him, he sidestepped the glass coffee table where your untouched coffee mugs still rested, probably cold by now, “son of a bitch, fucking baby, involved sorry excuse of a man-” He fell onto the cough. Your vision was red.

“You already used that insult.” Was all he said as you stood over him, your chest heaved with the exertion of trying to keep yourself from slapping the now blank expression from his face.

A slew of incomprehensible noises escaped from your lips as words completely left your brain. Damn him. Damn this idiot of a man that you were in love with. He could go to hell for all you cared and you hoped that the devil himself ripped his testicles off and served them on a platter with some kimchi and fried rice.

“Okay first of all- ow,” The asshole said, pulling you back to reality and not your fictitious rework where Yoongi was now sitting at the end of a long table being force fed his own balls, “And second…”

You held your breath. Fear ran down your spine. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud-

“You-you’re in love with me?”

Well… he got his wish, you were royally fucked. Instantly, you tried to back track. Your mind kept replaying in your head what you had said and tried to correct itself but you couldn’t think of anything that could possibly absolve you.

“Like a brother,” you said finally, your voice shaky and thin.

Yoongi only blinked up at you. What you said was bullshit and he knew it. You knew it too.

“You’re in love with me… like a brother?”

“Oppa,” you clarified as if that would somehow make more sense, and it did kind of, but it didn’t absolve you at all. In fact, this only made a smile tug at his lips, his pearly teeth suddenly on display, blinding. You fought the smile that threatened to pull at yours too. It was always hard because his smile was so contagious.

Yoongi stood. He was less than an inch away from your own body. You felt small, meek. You’d misstepped this big game of chess you seemed to be playing. He was going to make fun of you. He’d never let you live it down. You liked him.

“You like me,” as if he had read your mind, he echoed your thoughts, or maybe you had spoken that out loud as well.

“No I don’t,” you argued, taking a step back just so you could have some space to breathe.

“Oh yeah you do,” Yoongi argued, his smile so wide you were sure it would hurt the muscles in his cheeks

“No,” you said again, not really thinking anything you said at this point would convince him otherwise. The son of a bitch was stubborn.

“Admit it,” he said, closing the distance between you again, his neck craned down to look directly at your face.

“I don’t like you!” You tried to take another step back but the coffee table knocked your feet out from under you. You fell onto it knocking Yoongi’s mug of coffee over. The black decaf liquid seeped into your shorts.

Yoongi’s rusty laugh was pried from his throat as he watched your face contort. He was having the time of his life, it seemed. Good for him.

“Stop laughing at me,” you groaned, your cheeks red. You were practically sweating from how feverish you felt.

It was like you hadn’t spoken. Your shorts were wet and made you feel sticky. In a fit of anger, like a child throwing a tantrum, you unbuttoned the denim and ripped them from your legs. This shut Yoongi up instantly. With the soiled fabric, you cleaned up the liquid before it fell onto the light grey carpet.

Yoongi stilled as his eyes traveled up and down your long legs.The way you were twisting, he could see the back of your left thigh up to where it met your ass- your bare ass. You were wearing a thong.

God help him, he was rapidly getting hard. He forced his eyes away from you, his walls being pulled back up at seeing you naked. Well partially so. He pushed his hands into his oversized hoodie and made sure that it covered his front. The last thing he needed was for you to see.

But then you turned and pulled your legs together, your thighs squishing attractively. What he wouldn’t give to be choked by those thighs.

“Let me wash those for you,” he said tightly, pulling a hand from his hoodie to take the soiled shorts, the hem of the fabric pulled up enough for you to see exactly what he’d been trying to hide.

Yoongi had a hard on. You weren’t sure why exactly you were surprised. You were attractive, that much you knew, but you never really expected for your best friend to see you in that way. In fact, you were pretty sure that you’d been in your underwear in front of him before and he hadn’t even given you a second glance, but there was the evidence. And God was there a lot of evidence.

Slowly, you handed him the shorts. His hand grabbed them tightly, avoiding touching any part of your hand with his. Then, after a slight pause, he turned on his heels and walked towards the kitchen to put the shorts into the washer.

You’d called him oppa. You rarely called him oppa and it had hypersensitized him to the word coming from your lips. Other girls called him oppa sometimes and it had no effect on him but there he was, stiff as a board and it had something to do with you calling him oppa and your state of undress. Fuck. He was fucked. So fucked.

At least he wished he could be… But no. He pushed those thoughts from his head as he threw in some nice scented soaps into the wash and clicked it to life. He shut his eyes, trying to think of anything that would drain the blood from his member- halmeoni maybe?- but your voluptuous ass kept intruding, giving his halmeoni some nice curves that messed with her wrinkled face. He shook his head once more and decided he’d just have to hide his boner until it went away, or go beat one out in the restroom really quick.

He grabbed a pair of his clean sweat pants from the drying rack to give to you, just so you would be comfortable, he told himself, not because the thought of your naked butt in them made him unspeakably horny.

But when he got back to the living room, what he found was not you, covering yourself with a pillow like he’d expected, but you, only in your thong- fuck did it have to be a thong?- and your bra. Your shirt was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, burring his head in his hands and turning away from you.

“I mean, if you ask nicely enough that can be arranged,” you answered rather boldly. There was no way for him to know that you were quaking in fear for his rejection.

Yoongi’s dick twitched in his sweats.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said under his breath as his heart beat faster. He felt like he was having a whole heart attack. He patted his chest, hoping to calm it down knowing it was useless.

Should he go for it? You had just admitted accidentally that you did have feelings for him and you were clearly propositioning him. Should he just-

He turned around, back to face you, determination paining his expression. Still on the coffee table, your legs were spread open, only covered by the thin sliver of fabric that your thong allotted. You were a little cold, but all of that melted away when you saw the way that Yoongi’s eyes roamed your exposed body, then stopped abruptly to meet your own.

He was in front of you in seconds, his longer legs carried him farther and faster than you had anticipated. Then he was pulling you to stand. You wobbled on your legs but one of his arms found its way around your waist. His free hand came up and held your jaw with two fingers on either side of your face, squishing your lips together slightly. His hot, heavy member pressed against your stomach through his sweats. He was so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath and the fading smell of his cologne you loved so much. All you wanted was to grind against him but you were held too tightly.

“You never know when to shut up do you?” But he didn’t let you answer. He crashed his soft lips onto yours, his hold on your jaw ached but you didn’t care. There was a passion in his kiss that you hadn’t expected, subtly dwindling to something more like tenderness, and the kiss continued. His lips dragged against yours delicately, pinching your top one with both of his. Small breaths came out of his nose, whistling softly against your cheek. You timed your breaths with his, high on the feeling of finally being kissed, coveted by him. Was it real? Was this actually happening?

Your brain suddenly caught up with your body. The rightness that came with the way he was kissing you, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like he needed you to properly breathe, was like nothing you could have imagined.

The hand on your waist was drawing small circles where the elastic of your thong rested, his index finger casually hooked onto and under pulling lightly. You pressed yourself tighter than he had you against his erection. He groaned, his mouth opening and his tongue suddenly darting out to taste. He pulled your jaw open, granting himself entrance and exploring your mouth.

You moaned, a sound so sensuous and wanton that Yoongi felt that he could cum just from those sounds alone. He wanted more. He wanted you to sing his praises as he fucked into you and caressed your chest. He wanted you to drool around his cock and to have your sweet mouth wrapped tight around it. He wanted to feel you gag at his girth and he wanted to pull at your hair. But most of all, he wanted to kiss you, just like how he was at that moment. He wanted to kiss you until he’d taken your soul from your body and replaced it with his own. He wanted to kiss you until he could erase every trace of all of the men who’d hurt you and made you doubt that you were worthy and wanted. Yoongi wanted to kiss his love into you no matter how long he had to do it. If he was locked in a room with you for months, so be it.

But your hand had found its way between your bodies and was slowly coming down to his hips. Suddenly, he realized what he was doing and panicked. He hadn’t gotten your consent. He hadn’t asked you if it was okay for him to kiss you or to hook his fingers on your thong. As stupid as it sounded, even to Yoongi himself, he needed to make sure that you wanted this to happen, even as your hand had found the outline of his cock and you had started to trace the outline of it over the fabric-

“Tell me to stop,” he gasped, ripping himself away from you. The hand around your waist was now on your shoulder to keep you at enough distance so that his brain could function and wasn’t clouded by the horniness he was feeling.

“Wha…?” You slurred, your eyes were glazed over and your body was completely relaxed.

“Tell me to stop,” he repeated, fighting his every instinct to push your mouth open and have you suck on his thumb before he pushed you onto your knees to suck him off, “and I will.”

His eyelids were heavy and he was sweating slightly. He was so hard that it hurt and the circles you were drawing on his penis were not helping at keeping him at bay. He knew if he looked down, there would be a stain of precum on his sweats.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered, leaning in and kissing his jaw before you nibbled and kissed down his taught neck.

“Fuck.”

“I want you to fuck me.” You licked a thick swipe up his jugular, “I want you.”

“Then admit it,” Yoongi heard himself say. He was just as surprised as you were to hear those words from his lips, “admit that you like me.”

You pulled away then, dropping both your arms in exasperation, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in my underwear, stroking your cock and you want me to stroke your ego too? Un-fucking-believeable. You’re a dumb ass.”

You rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead.

“Aya, apa~” he groaned, rubbing his head, the dynamic that you were used to suddenly restored.

“Yeah? Great! I’m glad that it hurt! I hope it hurts really bad you jerk. Then maybe you’ll understand what it was like for me to listen to you go on and on about all the girls you went out with every fucking week. In fact-”

“Aya! What the fuck? Stop flicking me,” he nearly screamed, clutching the tip of his nose.

“Make me.”

Big mistake. Yoongi didn’t take your dare lightly. His eyes darkened then he leaned down and picked you up. You squeaked, wrapping your legs around his waist as he walked you to his room. His hands cupped your butt fairly comfortably, like this was something you did often. He kicked the door open and threw you on the bed.

“You think I wasn’t hurt as well?” He asked, clasping a hand around your neck and lightly pressing his fingers against your skin.

“You think I like knowing that everywhere we go, men are watching you, coveting you the way I do? You think it isn’t torture when you go out and I don’t hear from you until the next day?”

He pushed you up against his pillow. The duvet was already all messed up under your body. He was between your legs, pressing himself into your core. Fuck, you wanted him. You wanted him all the way inside you. He wanted nothing more than to do the same but he had to make sure you knew first.

“You think it was easy being in love with you when you wanted nothing from me but friendship?”

Your eyes softened. Yoongi was in love with you too? When?

“Since we were kids,” he answered. Again you had spoken without meaning to. “I always knew it was you, Y/N. It was only ever you.”

But something wasn’t adding up. You fought your rising feelings of elation. You wanted to understand what he was saying. If he had liked you since you were kids then why had he never asked you out? Why become the serial dater he’d become? But he’d never had a girlfriend, you reminded yourself. He’d only ever “dated” and then dropped these women. You always assumed he was screwing them all.

Yoongi became sheepish then. “I uh… I did have sex with some of them but-” and the hurt in your eyes would be enough to kill him,” it was only at the start. I thought that if i had sex with other people I’d stop chasing after you. But it didn’t work… I haven’t slept with anyone since junior year of college.”

Your eyes widened. “College?”

He nodded, his pale cheeks blushing prettily.

“They just...were never you… and then I thought if I pushed you away that would help but that only made us estranged and-”

You pushed yourself up and shut him up with a kiss. He was over thinking and you could talk about all that later.

“You’re an idiot,” you started and he rolled his eyes, “but if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to do it myself.”

Yoongi’s eyes rolled into his head and he thrust lightly into your wet center.

“Talk after?”

“As long as you want,” you agreed, already pushing at his sweats. Yoongi sat up and pulled his hoodie and shirt off in one fell swoop, then, at the speed of lightning, pulled off his sweats, leaving him in his boxers.

After a moment of hesitation, he pulled his boxers off as well and then he was naked before you. Your mouth went dry. He was big. You could tell just by looking at him that he would stretch you good and you wanted so badly for him to pin you down and have his way with you.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Really? Cause that would be really helpful on days when I’m home alone-”

“Wha-no!”

You chuckled and lay down on your back, making sure that your legs were spread wide for him to have his fill. Like a moth to a flame, he was between your thighs, his tongue licking at the wet fabric.

He moaned against your covered lips, sucking up the arousal that clung to your underwear.

“Fuck, Yoongi yes,” you said without meaning to say much at all. You unclasped your bra and threw it somewhere in the room. You could look for it later. This caught his attention. He thrust his naked dick into the mattress, needing some sort of stimulation.

“Damn it… fuck, if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside you, I swear I could get you off with just my mouth all day, Y/N.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved off, gesturing for him to come up to your face, he did so without question, “Hurry up, I’m dying. Please.”

“Are you begging?” Yoongi’s lips curled lightly, teasingly,

“Do you want to get your dick wet or not?” He kissed the wrinkle between your eyebrows lightly.

“Yeah, can I take these off?” he hooked a finger on the elastic of your thong, pulling it a little higher than he probably should have. It was an old pair. You heard rather than saw the stitching on it pull apart and then the thing was hanging limply from Yoongi’s fingers, his expression shocked.

“Yoongi!”

“What? I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“For fuck’s sake! That was my favorite thong!”

“Well, clearly it was cheap,” he countered, throwing it across the room somewhere too.

You groaned, shifting slightly under him. His dick nuzzled between your wet lips. His mouth dropped open and a pleasured grunt escaped his lips.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he rut against your wetness, hitting your clit lightly, far too lightly, “you are so wet. God, this should be illegal.”

“Y-Yoongi… more,” he reached down between you two and found your sensitive nub without much hassle. It was like he knew your body already. Your body twitched under him and he circled the bundle of nerves for a couple of seconds. The noises falling from your lips were heaven on earth and Yoongi realized you were his new favorite song.

He gave your clit one rough stroke, ripping a small gasp from your throat. He gathered some of your slick with two practiced fingers and brought it up to eye level. It caught the low light of his room from the window, the smell enough to threaten to send him over the edge.

“Jesus Christ that’s hot.” Then he smeared it all over his penis and gave himself two rough pumps.

“Can I-”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I’m asking-”

“Don’t care. Just do it. Yes.” You said angrily, pulling him closer and closer, his toned chest flush against yours.

“Have you been working out?” You asked, breaking the intense way he was staring into your eyes, his smile pulled wide over his gums.

He shrugged but clearly was glad that you’d noticed, “Namjoon and Jungkook convinced me to join them in the gym. It’s no big deal.”

“But your arms,” you complimented, squeezing his bicep. He flexed it lightly for you. You blushed when you realized exactly what you were doing.

“It’s just a little muscle,” he commented offhandedly.

The conversation lulled, he smiled down at you, and you up at him. He kissed the tip of your nose.

“So can I put it i-”

“I already said yes.”

“In your ass?”

“Ew no!”

Yoongi laughed loudly, “see this is why you can’t say yes to something without knowing what you’re agreeing to.”

“Shut up and put it in the right hole,” you groaned, then for good measure, “oppa.” It was a joke. You thought it was a joke, but something lit up in his pupils as two measly syllables rolled off your tongue and hit his eardrums. You felt his skin prickle under your touch and his member twitched against your folds.

Like a deer caught in headlights, you looked up at the handsome man. His eyes had narrowed as well as darkened. He looked absolutely ravenous and you wanted him to eat you up.

“Say that again.” He commanded as he pushed the head of his massive, and now that you could properly feel it, you knew that you had been right, cock at the entrance of your lower lips.

“O-oppa?” you questioned, astounded that the simple word that he’d no doubt heard his whole life had this effect on him.

“That’s right yeo-chin,” he growled, his voice gruff and harsh as he pushed lightly into you. His dick opened you painfully, perfectly.

“Yeo-chin?” You ask through the explosion of pleasure between your thighs.

“Is that okay?” He asked, suddenly looking really vulnerable and scared. You reached up, stroking his cheek lightly with your knuckles.

“Oh honey,” you trailed off, bumping his nose against yours before you pulled back abruptly, “If you want me to be your girlfriend, you have to ask me properly.”

Yoongi sighed, his smile telling you he expected as much and wasn’t hurt, “Talk after?” He asked again.

“As much as you want,” you reiterated.

And then he was pushing into you once again, surprising you because you could have sworn you had been full before but inch after inch, he pushed into your awaiting hole, filling all the emptiness you’d felt your whole life until his balls tapped your ass softly.

His face was contorted in pure ecstasy. At least from your perspective. Yoongi, in all truth, was trying his hardest not to blow his load into you already. He couldn’t believe his luck. He was inside you. He’d waited his whole life for this and he was finally inside you.

You wiped a bead of sweat from his temple and playfully licked his lips. He grunted against you, holding himself up by the forearms. Suddenly, he was really grateful that he had started to work out and that Jungkook had him doing three minute planks for fun. He’d have to thank him later, even if he did complain a whole lot.

“Can-can I move?” Yoongi gasped. Your walls fluttered around his member as if welcoming it home with soft caresses. You were so warm, maybe hot, he wasn’t sure, but you were tight and wet and all the good things in the world.

You only breathed, feeling so unbelievably full. It felt like he had pushed in all the way to your throat. You were no size queen, really, you weren’t, but if this is what they were going on about, you understood.

“Y/N,” he panted, his body begging him to move, “please.”

“Are-are you begging?” You giggled mirroring what he’d asked you before.

“Yes.” Without hesitation, he admitted, “Please… please…”

Well fuck. How could you say no? You nodded fervently, all mirth erased from your expression as he pulled out slowly, your juices squelched as your lower muscles tried to keep him in.

“Gah- ash-Y/N… you’re so tight.”

You only moaned in response, the head of his cock was still in you, stretching you to the point you didn’t think anyone could fully make you feel this way again.

“You’re so big,” you complimented scratching at his back. His muscles rippled under your touch.

He pushed back in, still torturously slow. It felt like you were being split in half. You felt like Olaf in the first frozen movie after he got stabbed by an icicle.

“Yoongi,” you gasped as he pulled out again at the same speed, his face screwed up in concentration.

“Oppa,” he growled into your ear, kissing roughly at your skin.

“Oppa,” you agreed, though it wasn’t your favorite word, he seemed to be getting of fairly

well so you let it slide, “move faster.”

“You sure?” He asked.

You nodded, knowing it was probably going to hurt but you wanted to feel him and you wanted him to cum.

“Yes.”

He didn’t need to be told again; he drew back, once again leaving only the mushroom tip inside you once again, and then he thrust. Hard. You nearly choked as he pumped himself over and over again hitting the nerves in your vagina. The slap of skin against yours was loud in the empty room, only accompanied by your moans and his pants and grunts. Your names mixed in every once in a while, your lips kissing any and all the skin that you could possibly reach. He licked at your lips and sucked bruises onto your neck, your chest. He wanted to mark all of you. He wanted to make sure you knew who you belonged to… as soon as he asked you right after he finished up.

This idea itself spurred him on, to thrust faster, deeper. He wanted to finish and make sure that you finished too, not quickly but soon. He wanted to talk. He wanted to make sure that you were in the same place.

So he reached between you both again, his fingers blindly found your clitoris and began to rub abstract shapes into it. Your back arched off the bed, your hair and boobs bounced with each thrust, his balls slapping against your ass. You were seeing white, your mouth wide open in a silent ‘o’. You were so close. So so close.

“Come, Yeo-chin,” he whispered against your temple, and though you weren’t technically his, the title sent you over the edge along with his fingers and the deep thrusts that hit your cervix.

“Oppa,” you groaned, your face screwed up.

That did it for Yoongi. His fingers on your clit stuttered along with his hips. His thrusts became erratic and he hit the sides of your walls. You squeezed around him as he over stimulated you through your orgasm.

“One more time… say it one more time,” he begged.

You complied, whispering it into his ear, it was cut slightly by a particularly pleasurable thrust. Yoongi felt pure euphoria fill his blood as his hips paused, then buried deep into your hole. Ropes of hot cum shot into you, filling you.

Yoongi panted heavily over you, his head resting on your shoulder as he struggled to keep himself up. You were breathing heavily as well, your nipples brushed against his chest. You were sensitive. You hissed.

“You can lay down,” the words had barely left your lips before he had let his weight settle on top of you. A smile crossed your face as his hands tangled in your hair and stroked it lightly. You wrapped him up in a hug, wanting him to stay like this for a while. It was nice to feel him so close.

After a couple of minutes of both of you just recovering and your breathing getting much harder, like a wrestler, you tapped Yoongi twice.

“I’m out,” you joked, “can’t breathe.”

With what looked like a lot of effort, he pushed himself up and off you, pulling out of your suddenly. The cum inside of your vagina gushed out.

You made a face as you felt it drip onto his sheets. Yoongi watched it ooze out of you, not really caring where it was going. He looked mesmerized. He reached out as if to swipe at the cum on your lower lips but you grabbed his wrist before he could.

“We talk now,” you sighed, a bit calmer than before but still a bit worried.

“Now?” He looked so vulnerable again, like he was a scared child. He lay on his side, resting his head on his elbow. He looked down at you, waiting for you to take the reins, the way you always did but this time, you didn’t know where to begin.

Yoongi cleared his throat looking around uncomfortably. When you said nothing, his mind had started to race.

“So… do you… want to be my girlfriend, or are we friends with benefits level right now? Ow!”

You’d smacked his shoulder, not hard at all but he was dramatic and you knew that. He frowned at you, his lips tempting you into another kiss that could lead to something more once again. You were already feeling a little turned on again just looking at the results of his recent gym trips.

“So no to yeo-chin then?”

“Yoongi!”

“Don’t you mean Oppa?”

You smiled up at him, a teasing glint in your gaze, “I didn’t know you had an oppa kink. This whole time, I was right to refuse to call you oppa. I knew you looked way too happy whenever I called you that!”

Yoongi scrunched his nose and looked away, “I don’t! It’s just… when you say it.” He admitted waving a hand as if to bat away your inquisitive and teasing stare.

Not really knowing how to answer that, you chose instead to answer his previous question.

“Nam-chin,” you ran a finger down the center of his pecks, tracing all the light visible muscles that made you want to get off on just riding his chest. Yoongi tensed under your touch. He seemed frozen.

“Did you just call me nam-chin?” You, for once, were not embarrassed. You smiled brightly, happy that the title finally had a head to sit on.

“Is that okay?”

Yoongi pulled you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you, his heart beat erratically in his chest, singing to yours. To its credit, your heart synced and harmonized almost instantly. He smelled like pure sex and fresh water. He buried your face into his bare skin, listening to his song. After all these years, after all the tiptoeing and fear, you were finally where you belonged.

“Of course it is,” he paused, kissing the top of your head a couple of times, “yeo-chin.” This time, the word made a shiver roll down your spine. Arousal began to pool between your sticky thighs once more and if the third leg on your stomach was anything to go by, he was as well.

“Can- can we take a shower?” you asked him, biting your lips and pushing your chest against his suggestively.

He smirked, his mouth watered at the thought of taking you in the shower. He could almost hear your moans echoing in his wet room as he sat you down and ate you out until the water ran cold. Easy clean up even.

“Yes.” he breathed, connecting his lips to yours. You kissed for a while, your lips meshing together lovingly. Yoongi was a good kisser, you realized. He was a good lay as well. And he was cute to boot. Suddenly, he pulled away and picked you up bridal style and walked you to his restroom. He once again kicked the door open to avoid using his hands and walked you through, but this time instead of throwing you down, he set you on the toilet, him on his knees between your pushed open legs.

“I hope you don’t have any plans,” he said, kissing up your thighs and pulling you close to the edge, “because I have all the time in the world and I’m really, really thirsty.”

He ran two fingers over your abused center, collecting his cum and your new arousal. Sure, there were still a lot of things to talk about between you two. Yoongi still wasn’t sure if you fully understood the depth of his feelings nor was he sure if you simply liked him and the slip of the L-word was nothing more than that. A slip. But like he’d said, he had all the time in the world to ask and all the time to make sure he earned you and your trust. He would do anything he could to prove it and some day he would be.

But for now, he was royally fucked by the sinful sounds that escaped your pretty lips and he wanted nothing more than to just enjoy.

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Masterlist -in case you want to read more....

I hope yall enjoyed it and that this is a good come back after our roast session from permission to dance:)

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synnefo-nefeli · 4 years

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I’m a die hard Clerith shipper since 1997, you can’t change my mind but the one thing I won’t tolerate in FFVII aside from shipping wars, is anyone shitting on Tifa.

Don’t. You can like Clerith without hating Tifa. You can find other reasons to not to like Tifa as character, that isn’t “I don’t like her because she gets in the way of my ship”

Personally, Tifa isn’t one of my top tier FF characters, but I am not going to ignore how much of a badass and important person Tifa is to Cloud’s story.

People cite Aerith’s death and burial as the most important moment of FFVII, and yes it’s heartbreaking and an iconic scene. But you know what’s also an important scene?

Tifa in the lifestream with Cloud setting his memories straight. Tifa who up until this moment unbeknownst to the player, is aware that Cloud as he’s presented himself thus far *isnt* the Cloud he thinks he is. She’s been patiently going along with Cloud’s story trying to figure out *what happened* to him/ how he appeared in Midgar boasting of being a SOLDIER while clearly suffering from Mako poisoning/how will she ultimately break this story to him.

Think how hard it was for her to watch Cloud have ptsd episodes and not know how to ground him other than to say “it’s okay. Pull yourself together, let’s keep moving”, because she doesn’t know how or why Cloud is suffering.

But then they fall into the Lifestream together and Tifa helps Cloud sift through the memories warped and altered by the poisoning and Cloud’s severe PTSD.

Only Tifa could help Cloud here- she’s the only one on the Team who has known Cloud since they were young/understands Cloud’s motivations for wanting to become stronger in joining SOLDIER.

This part of the game is beautiful and emotional, and very ahead of it’s time in its portrayal and meta-discussion of PTSD; Cloud isn’t magically healed and back to normal, he never will be, be he’s reclaimed his identity enough that he can begin to heal. I’m replaying the original atm and the moment still holds and I’m hoping that the remake nails this moment. It’s as important and impactful to Cloud as a character as Aerith’s death.

Speaking of Aerith. Aerith and Tifa become friends from the jump. Aerith is so respectful of Tifa that twice she makes sure that she isn’t encroaching on Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. She asks Cloud if Tifa is his girlfriend, she reassures Tifa in Don Cornero’s Mansion that she’s not there to steal Cloud from her.

And yeah, Aerith isn’t trying to steal Cloud or anything - she helped a cute buff guy recover from a fall, asked him for an escort because this time the Turks brought backup to capture her, and got swept up in the ensuing events.

Hell, Aerith is ride or die for Tifa BEFORE THEY EVEN FORMALLY MEET EACH OTHER. Aerith sees Tifa being carted off to Wall Market and her “some bad shit’s about to happen to this woman if we don’t move NOW” senses go off.

Cloud’s like “oh let me take you home first and I’ll get my teammates...” and Aerith’s like “YOU NAIVE FOOL? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO CUTE GIRLS IN WALL MARKET? (tbh, considering how naive Cloud can be, I am going with ‘nope’.) WE GOTTA GO! QUICK GET INTO THIS SEXY DRESS BECAUSE MR. SOLDIER YOU’RE NOT COMING UP WITH A BETTER PLAN WE CAN WORK WITH!!” Aerith drives the entire plan to get into the Don’s mansion. She negotiates the dress, the wig, the makeup, EVERYTHING, to make sure that Cloud can pass as a women to come into the Mansion with her.

Heck, Aerith was going to go into the mansion HERSELF to get Tifa when the guard was like “No dudes allowed.” The only reason they went looking for dresses in Cloud’s size, was because Cloud got all “No, I can’t let you go in there a lone if it’s as bad as you think it is”, (as if he hadn’t just spent the last day with this woman watching her completely kick ass in battle). So Aerith was like, “Fine, you wanna come with me? Get in the Silk Dress, Cloud” with the same energy as Shinji’s Dad.

And when Aerith gets captured, Tifa was like “WE GOTTA GO AND SAVE HER FROM SHINRA!” as well as protecting Aerith through the whole ShinRa office building mission when the groups had to split up. So yeah, these two queens love and respect each other from the get-go, they put Cloud in his place, tease the shit out of him and Barret, probably had hair-braiding trains at camp, and support the hell out of each other .

Also, as we see from the rest of FFVII and in AC, Tifa is devastated by her friend’s death and continues to grieve with Cloud. Tifa is emotionally intelligent enough to see that Cloud’s grief and guilt over Aerith’s death is killing him, but also respects his need for space. However, when she finds that he has Geostigma and has staying away from everyone so he can just waste away and die as some sort of penance for not being able to save Aerith and zack, she get’s PISSED at him. Tifa is instrumental in bringing Cloud back (again) to his senses. Making him see, that he doesn’t only belong to himself, he belongs to their family, just as much as they belong to him. The love and fierce protection Cloud has for his family? They have that for him and believe he’s more than worthy of that love. Tifa takes none of Cloud’s mopey and self-loathing bs, and sets him straight.

So if you think Tifa is only there for fan-service, an annoying bitch who is there to be jealous of Aerith, is there just to make a love triangle so SE can pander to fans on both sides, you clearly

a) didn’t play the games b) missed one of the best female relationships and examples of women supporting women in gaming c) missed how equally important both Aerith and Tifa are to Cloud in their own ways

IMO I see her and Cloud as platonic soulmates- kinda like Black Widow and Hawkeye- they have history, they have shared trauma from their childhoods and in the destruction of Nibelheim, they know what it’s like to grow up in a poor country town that’s been exploited by Shinra on so many levels from the natural resources to it’s culture of military indoctrination and idealization.

Yes, there was an innocent first love, but after certain events, to me- it’s moved beyond romantic attraction between them. They’re always going to be important to each other and in each other's lives.

Their innocent first love to me, mirrors Zack and Aerith’s, but Aerith moved on and fell in love with Cloud. Yes, Cloud reminded her of Zack, she probably wanted to remain close to Cloud to get closure on what exactly happened to him.

People often forget, Aerith *knows* Zack’s died and returned to the Lifestream in the way that she knew her adoptive mother’s husband had died before word reached them. When she has her awkward moment in Gongaga it’s not because she’s now realizing that he’s dead, she’s now realizing that these are Zack’s parents and they still don’t know what became of their son. Zack was scrambled into Cloud’s memories due to trauma and because Zack was someone Cloud looked up and was his ideal, combined with the fact that Zack was the only person talking to Cloud for 9 months as Zack carried his catatonic self back to Midgar. But Cloud didn’t *become* Zack, only Zack’s plans of becoming a mercenary and being a former SOLDIER were impressed upon him. If Cloud actually became Zack he would have been chipper, this energetic “I’m a hero!” all around good-guy hero Zack made himself out to be. The Cloud we first meet...isn’t- yes he thinks he’s a former SOLDIER turned merc, but he’s sardonic, arrogant, and too much of “tough guy/lone wolf”...he’s more like his child-like self who was made to feel like an outsider and wants to showoff how much cooler and stronger he’s become. He didn’t find Aerith because Zack was some how possessing him. Aerith and Cloud meeting was destiny, and their subsequent relationship is independent of their past histories with Zack. And if Aerith is interested in Cloud because she reminds him of Zack - well...the woman is allowed to have a type.

I digress.

Cloud was in love with Tifa in that - “hey! notice me! If I go off an become this awesome guy, I’ll be worthy of your attention” sort of way, that teens get. He was a lonely kid, often bullied by the other children in the village (Tifa included), and probably didn’t know *why* he wanted Tifa’s attention- it was most likely Tifa had the most social capital among the kids. And despite her hot/cold treatment of him,Cloud who was desperate to prove himself, figured that if he somehow “won” Tifa’s attention, it would “show them”. I am not saying that Cloud was using Tifa or didn’t care about her- he does love her. He blamed himself for not being strong enough to save her when she tried climb Mt. Nibel. But you can’t ignore that his thirst to prove himself wasn’t wrapped up in his crush. It’s your typical “become a hero, get the girl” idealization. Cloud was 14 when he left Nibelheim for Shinra’s military. He was a child, just like Tifa, with a naive idea about how the world worked- and the world slapped them both in the face, HARD. Relationships mature and change over time. Outside forces can and will shift your dynamics in how your relate to the people you love. Sometimes your first crush, becomes one of your very best friends (happened to me personally so maybe this informs my take on Cloud and Tifa) because when you’re young you don’t understand that loving someone, outside of your nuclear family, isn’t only constrained to romance. This is what I believe happened to them. Cloud and Tifa had the quintessential school yard crush, and when they were reunited years later in Midgar, they still care deeply for each other in a different way than they did when they were 14 and 13.

But those are MY feelings, it’s how I play the game’s attraction mechanics; I am afforded to shape Cloud’s relationships as I, the gamer, see fit. I understand why Cloti shippers ship Cloud and Tifa, and they’re just as valid as Clerith, Zarith, Clack, etc.. but I’m a sucker for M/F platonic soulmates because there needs to be MORE of that in media. I rather Cloud and Tifa be platonic soul mates, co-parenting Marlene and Denzel with Barret, than Cloud “settling for Tifa because Aerith died”. which that explanation for Cloud x Tifa, often used by Clerith shippers, just undermines who Tifa is as a character and her’s and Cloud’s relationship.

But anyway, even though I don’t ship them and Tifa is not my #1 girl for VII, she is a vital character. She’s not there for fan-service. She’s not there exclusively for a love triangle and to cause tension between Aerith and Cloud. Tifa is VITAL to Cloud’s story, to the story of VII, to the planet of Gaia. You wouldn’t have VII’s core story without Tifa. And I will go to the mat for her just as hard as Aerith did when she saw Tifa in the cart bound for Wall Market.

So again: you may not ship her with Cloud, or she may not be your fave in VII, but in this house we forever respect the badass queen whose name is Tifa Lockhart

#ffvii #rant #tifa lockhart #in this house we love and respect Tifa Lockhart #even though we don't ship her with anyone really #I used to ship her with Barret and sometimes Rude #If Cloud didn't exist I would prolly ship her with Aerith tbh

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go-ldy · 4 years

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The Witcher 1x01

I have too many thoughts and I had to do so much googling to get all of the names and places spelled correctly omg.

I enjoyed this just as much the second time now that I know who everyone is and how the timelines work. I appreciate so many things I missed the first time around!

For instance: the glimpses of Ciri's life at court before the fall of Cintra. It is clear from a few lines of dialogue that she has had a loving upbringing with Eist and Calanthe. Which of course sets her up for the trauma and heartbreak to follow. I also like that we see her playing with kids her age and then later her impatience when she's left alone at the castle during the battle with Nilfgaard. So much of Ciri's story later in this season is about running away and hiding and trauma. These scenes are important in telling us WHO Ciri is beyond the trauma she later endures. Overall, I think Ciri’s storyline was the weakest of the three mains this season, but episode 1 does a good job enough job of making me care for her that I wanted to see her safely through the season.

How great are Calanthe and Eist? We can tell right away they married for more than just alliances - there is real love between them. Eist himself is so likable! The world of the Continent is a sexist world, but Cintra is Queen Calanthe's kingdom. Eist may be king, but Calanthe is in charge. And Eist himself does not seem to be threatened by this dynamic at all. He stands behind Calanthe when she is bestowing honours. He jokes about performing his duties to her in the bedroom (cute!). He is there to support her charge into battle. He's the one who is fridged in battle so Calanthe and we as an audience can appreciate just how serious the Nilfgaard threat really is. His death is such a gut punch even though we barely know these people! I really liked their dynamic and I hope the show finds a way to bring them back in more flashbacks or past timelines in season 2.

Cool! A timeline reference I now understand! It’s like finally being “in” on the joke. Get it? Geralt is in the past! Or Calanthe’s in the future. Whichever!

When I first watched this episode, I thought Renfri and the eclipse babies would become important again later in the season. Were they connected to Ciri? Is that how she had powers? Is that why she was so sheltered by Calanthe? But they are basically never mentioned again! Actually I don't think we have an explanation for Ciri's powers other than they are passed down through her family (and that the powers somehow skipped Queen Calanthe?). TBH this is quite a confusing feature of season 1. I'm going to pay attention to this on re-watch.

Renfri gives us a pretty good idea in this episode as to the type of woman Geralt is attracted to. Apparently it is emotionally complicated brunettes with tragic pasts who can kill him. He's like a moth to a flame! He had no chance after meeting Yennefer and she asked him to get naked in her bathtub.

The choreography of the Geralt and Renfri sword fight is so good! She is pretty good but Geralt is holding back. He only kills her when she makes it clear she will kill him.

We get a good idea of what it means to be a Witcher in this episode and it is bleak! Geralt saves that town from bloodshed. He kills the woman he has come to care for to prevent the deaths of the townspeople. He saves Stregobor although he obviously thinks Stregobor is kind of the worst. And what does he get in return? He's driven out of town! He becomes known as the butcher of Blaviken! And does Stregobor even pay him after all of that?? I don't think so! Run out of town with no thanks and no payment. That is a BAD day at the office!

I find the way that the Witcher deals with misogyny and sexism so interesting. Especially when it comes to who has power. Who has power in this world? Kings and queens. Mages and sorcerers. But look at how the women in these roles are treated. It can’t be a coincidence that the organization of mages is called the Brotherhood. And what is the purpose of the Brotherhood? From what we can see in season 1, it is finding young mages, training them (the way the Brotherhood wants them trained) and then sending them out to whisper in the ear of whatever king or queen the Brotherhood feels needs direction. In other words, the Brotherhood finds these young women, takes them from their families, trains them and then place them in positions where they serve the Brotherhood's purpose. Oh, and then if your successful at passing Sorcerer School and avoid being turned into an eel, the Brotherhood takes your fertility too.

Women who can't be controlled are a threat. Look at the way Cintra and Queen Calanthe are treated and spoke of by the Brotherhood. Calanthe is derided for her stubbornness. Cintra is left to burn by the Brotherhood because it doesn't like the way Calanthe has waged (and won) so many military battles. Not to excuse Calanthe's actions, which are very problematic indeed, but would the Brotherhood have the same reaction to a male ruler?

Yennefer when she breaks away from the Brotherhood is treated with scorn and mistrust.

And Renfri and the other eclipse babies have to be hunted down and killed for having a power that Stregobor perceives as a threat.

Ciri is sheltered and protected all her life and not told about her powers. Clearly Calanthe does not want Ciri’s powers to be known.

Similar themes of power and control play out in the context of non humans over the course of the season. Namely when it comes to the treatment of elves. But also in the way Geralt is treated.

I appreciate the way the Witcher is diving into these themes without demeaning any of its characters. I really liked the post that pointed out that the Witcher is exploring sexism without being a sexist show. A good example of this is the fact that the Witcher does not rely on sexual violence to show us that This Is a Sexist World Filled with Bad People. This should not be a note-worthy thing, but it really kind of is! Renfri does say she was raped, but that is the only mention of rape in the eight episode run. And she's not victimized for it. She says it because it is something that happened to her and one of the many hardships she endured and survived. The only other instance of sexual assault, if you can call it that, is Yennefer's magically induced orgy in 1x05. Consent in that context is extremely dubious! But we are not talking about a scene where a man is raping a woman so we can appreciate how bad he is and how damaged she is. So it has a different context (and I will delve more into that when I get there because this post needs to end).

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #the witcher netflix #the witcher spoilers #the witcher 1x01 #long post #way too long a post #make me stop #this is just the first episode #the witcher episode reaction

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dentalrecordsmusic · 5 years

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My Chemical Romance Was an Excellent Band and You're Not Special for Shitting on Them

There was a time when I was extraordinarily uncool. Around age 11 my fashion sense was a mess, my hair was messier, and I listened to My Chemical Romance. 2004. What a year. I was bullied for a lot of things, from my big belly and lil tiddies to my love for these pants. But most especially, I was bullied for my taste in music (no, I’m serious).

I have a distinct memory of a boy who (shall not be named) (thought Billy Talent was the best band ever) would stuff notes in my middle school locker telling me to kill myself because I was an “emo shithead” who listened to MCR. I remember one girl at sleep away camp (I’ll name her) (it was Serina) (she won’t read this) who had a lot to say about my “fat ass” and even more to say about my passion for music, which was dubbed “whiney screaming boy band garbage.” Good times.

I wrote an article last year about my trials and tribulations with what has been christened “mall emo” and I found out that not only was I accompanied in my laments, but there were literally thousands of people who went through similar things as pre-teens. The difference was, I was bullied into believing that My Chemical Romance was embarrassing. That there were not worthy of praise, and rather, they were something to be ashamed of. Don’t give anyone the idea that you like them. They will make fun of you. They will make you feel stupid. My secret of loving this band became a sinking feeling in my stomach. This feeling followed me through college and beyond.

The truth was, My Chemical Romance wasn’t just a good band. They were very good. So good that people, to this day, continue to run fan blogs about them despite the fact that they’ve been broken up for like, five (almost six) years. Fans are making their own merchandise. They’re starting podcasts. They’re starting bands. They’ve been following MCR since age 11 like me, or they’re discovering them now as high schoolers, and now, they’re reflecting on how groundbreaking, magnificent, and prolific this band was. It’s not simply teen angst driving them. These fans are older now. They’re looking beyond that and seeing My Chemical Romance for what they were: poetic, theatrical, sincere music.

From the beginning, they wanted to start a band that sounded like if “Morrissey had joined The Misfits” and they achieved that through their songwriting, expressive creative vision, and their dynamic performances whether they were playing to ten kids in a basement in Philly or a packed arena in Mexico City. There are a plethora of tracks in their discography that illustrate this, but “Thank You For The Venom” is perhaps the most obvious nod to Moz and Jersey’s horror punk band. Later in their career, they took on a bigger, brighter, arena-filling Queen-inspired sound with The Black Parade and broke down barrier after barrier in terms of career success. Later, they brought pop back into the mix on Danger Days and inspired so many with a beautiful apocalyptic concept which brought us the comic books. Conventional Weapons came around and we were faced with another realm of MCR — one that was dirtier, grittier, and yet still uniquely them.

The roses in the sink. The night vision photoshoots. The blood-drenched magazine covers. The intensity of their music videos. Their old website. The merch and the album booklets and the show posters and the backdrops. The band had every hand in what they visually stood for. It was impressive and almost insane how much work and attention and thought was put into how they were visually perceived. My Chemical Romance took on each new album like one would approach a cohesive feeling — each was its own separate art project with a distinct manifestation. They captured pain and suffering and also valor and heroism all in the same vein. They were stunning.

Gerard Way was an exceptional frontman from his effortless highs to his on-the-brink-of-death lows. Throughout the entirety of his career with MCR, he was acutely aware of himself and what he represented to millions of fans around the world. A powerful symbol of what it means to face adversity and to be unafraid to "keep on living." On the opposite side of the coin, he was an Iron Maiden and Morrissey fanboy with a deep love for Dungeons & Dragons. He loved his grandma. He wore his heart and every other internal organ on his sleeve. He fought against many things: misogyny, mental health stigma, homophobia, transphobia. Way stood for inclusion and acceptance against all odds, especially during a time when bands were still asking girls to show their tits on camera for backstage passes.

“You’re not in this alone” was the first MCR lyric ever written from the song “Skylines and Turnstiles." It became the main idea behind the band, as well as a mission statement for them to stand on if they ever lost sight of what was important to them. More importantly, My Chemical Romance never shied away from how enthusiastic their fanbase was (and still is). “Sometimes, honestly, I feel like we’re moderating a support group,” Gerard Way told Spin in 2007. “We tap into dark stuff from the high school years, and it’s our responsibility to bring kids to a positive, nonviolent solution.” They took responsibility for their actions, never faltering on their goals, and they always made kids feel less alone. “It's okay to be fucked up, 'cause there are five guys in this band who are just as fucked up as you but we've overcome that to do what we do,” Way said in Life On The Murder Scene.

When the music stopped and My Chemical Romance broke up, it was bitter-sweet (mostly bitter) (just kidding). In truth, there was a sigh of relief, but also sorrow. Where else was the band going to go? How much further could they take it? What can we expect from the Way brothers and Frank and Ray in terms of new musical projects that weren’t My Chemical Romance? One could argue that there were plenty of other “emo” bands who were doing something similar — writing intimate songs about intimate things. But admittedly, on a grand scale, no other band did it like MCR. They filled arenas and moved over five million albums over the course of their career which spanned a killer twelve years. They were an enormous band playing loud as fuck songs about incredibly personal ideas and they continued, without fail, to include every walk of life on their journey through the ups and the downs.

My Chemical Romance created a new musical frontier. Unassisted, they formed an entire subculture of teens and young adults — especially women, mentally ill teenagers, and LGBTQ+ people — who could network together and find acceptance and solidarity in their suffering, which continues to be stigmatizing and written off as the usual case of “teen angst.” Your problem? You’re lead to believe that just because a band has a majority female fanbase it’s not considered sincere and heartfelt music. That it is automatically cringe-worthy and unqualified to be critiqued the way good bands should be critiqued: based on the quality of their music, their artistic vision, and their ability to perform in an entertaining manner. My Chemical Romance was superb. Let go of your misogyny.

And that’s that on that.

Catherine Dempsey’s gun fires seven different shades of shit. So what’s your favorite color, punk? You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

Follow DRM on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

#my chemical romance #my chem #mcr #mcrmy #gerard way #frank iero #mikey way #ray toro #alternative rock #emo #feature #catherine dempsey

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echodrops · 6 years

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Why Do Certain Ships Become So Popular? (And Why Should Writers Rethink When They Do?) - Part 2

<- Start back at part 1 or you’re going to be very confused!

This time my victim of choice example is Klance (and Allurance and Lotura too).

In a previous post, I established the premise that shippers focus their efforts and attention on ships between characters who exhibit the most compelling dynamism, the greatest amount of emotional energy--good feelings or bad--that directly relates to one or more of the characters’ growth arcs... or the two characters whose emotional interactions most significantly affect a story’s main plot.

This idea (that shippers are looking for strong, dynamic emotional interactions that are directly tied to plot) feeds directly into my second premise: part of the popularity of slash ships comes from the fact that, very often, the strongest and most plot-relevant emotional events don’t occur between male characters and female characters, but between male protagonists and other male characters--due to a combination of 1) a much smaller number of female characters, 2) a majority of writers for anime/manga and American shows being male; 3) under-developed or poorly written female characters, and 4) the tendency to situate males in the hero, sidekick, and villain positions, increasing the chance that their actions will have greater importance in the story’s main plot.

In short, writers can unintentionally cause fans to prefer non-canon slash ships by writing more dynamic, better developed, and more plot-relevant interactions between their male leads than between the main character and his designated female love interest.

Now hang on. Before you get all up in arms, yes, I’m perfectly aware there are plenty of other reasons slash ships are popular, including:

A huge desire among LGBT+ fans for positive representation

The fact that m/m interactions appeal to straight women/others the same way w/w interactions are sexy to straight men/others

The tendency of shows, particularly from Japan, to deliberately queer-bait

The fact that many women vicariously ship male characters together because it allows them to imagine a relationship of “genuine equals,” particularly in areas where women feel they are still not treated equally to men

The tendency for “pair the spares” to result in m/m ships simply due to a lower number of available female characters

And so on

This isn’t written to negate any of those reasons or to imply that they aren’t major factors in the popularity of slash ships, not at all, but it has always, always struck me as reductive when I hear things like “Slash ships are only popular because girls think two dudes together is hot” (the fetish argument) or “Girls will ship any two good-looking male characters together regardless of canon. They just hate het ships” (the fetish argument with a side dish of misogyny).

In particular, this last one--an argument I’ve heard from a lot of male fandom members (but of course not all)--has always gotten under my skin, because it implies that girls who ship aren’t capable of critically analyzing the media we consume and identifying characters who have meaningful interactions and interesting potential. That we, unlike those viewers who adhere to the canon (typically heterosexual) relationships, are somehow reading these stories wrong, blind to “real” romance (namely the one between the male hero and his best girl/waifu), and/or misusing male characters with zero regard for their personalities--worse, this argument also implies that female fans deliberately hate or under-appreciate oh-so-perfectly written female characters whose romantic subplots are totally natural and not at all an unfortunate side effect of their position as the token chick on the team...

At its best, the statement: “Girls will ship any two good-looking male characters” is demeaning in its dismissal of a majority of slash shippers and their ability to read characters. At its worse, it’s this exact dismissal that continues to allow so many (primarily male) authors to write under-developed, unimportant, token female love interests: “It’s the girls [or the slash shippers] who are weird; there’s nothing wrong with the way we’re doing things.”

But guess what happens when well-written female characters whose actions are central to a story’s main plot are introduced and highlighted? Guess what happens when the emotional energy between a female lead and her male counterpart is the most compelling and dynamic in the series?

The (often canon) het ship suddenly--somehow--magically becomes well-liked by fans!

Zutara and Kataang vastly out-strip any slash Avatar pairings in popularity. Noragami’s Yatori commands a staggering following in the fandom. Is there anyone in their right mind who thinks Alucard/Integra wasn’t the best pairing to end Hellsing with? No one debates whether or not Ahiru and Fakir from Princess Tutu are true love. In Doctor Who, Rose and the Doctor reign so far supreme in the fandom that none of the other ships even need to exist though I actually prefer River. Terra and Aqua from Kingdom Hearts beat out every other Terra or Aqua ship by a mile (and this is in a series notorious for hating and under-shipping its female characters). Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun has no problem juggling three very well-accepted het ships--even while having a scene in which two male characters sit down and draw a gay manga together. Ain’t nobody suggesting Mr. Bates and Anna from Downton Abbey should be with anyone else, right? And this is just in the handful of shows I personally have time to watch. Anyone who reads or watches a series with well-written female characters can play this exact same game!

The obvious conclusion? Female fans are perfectly willing to ship heterosexual pairings--if they’re well-written.

It’s the same story all over again: when the real emotional energy, the dynamic core, the most plot-relevant interactions occur between a male and female character, they too can become the fan-preferred couple. (Shocking!)

Yes, yes, I hear you saying “B-But wait, sometimes the m/m ship is more popular even though the het love interest is well-written!” or “Sometimes girls ship guy characters who have never even met!” or “So what you’re saying is female fans wouldn’t ship slash if there were better het options available?”

1) Don’t get me wrong--there are certainly always exceptions. I’m pointing out a trend, not a rule. Sometimes a fandom has a separate, specific reason for elevating a non-canon slash ship above a well-written canon het ship. (Someone who is actually in the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom might be able to explain why Ed/Roy is more popular than Roy/Riza, probably?) And in situations where a slash ship and a het ship in a series both have equally strong emotional energy, my bet is that the slash ship will always come out on top because it gets the added benefit of people liking LGBT+ rep and straight girls (and anyone else) who just think m/m is hot.

2) Crack ships definitely do exist. But usually when a crack ship actually manages to become popular, it’s because fans have recognized the potential for a strong emotional energy between two characters. If the two characters could reasonably have strong tension because of similarities, differences, or other elements of their characters, then crack ships are still following the trend of aligning with emotional energy, even if that energy is only anticipated at the moment.

3) I definitely don’t mean to suggest that slash ships are shoddy seconds to fans who would “naturally” prefer het ships if good het ships were available. What I’m suggesting is only that it’s no surprise slash ships are so extremely and consistently popular across so many fandoms, because in terms of plot relevance, depth of writing, and meaningful interactions with each other, male characters so rarely have any real competition. A desire for LGBT+ representation and people living out power or equality fantasies through slash are certainly motivating factors and good and worthy reasons to write slash. But one unfortunate contributor to the popularity of slash ships is that male characters continue to occupy a place of privilege in modern narratives. Our heroes remain overwhelmingly male. Our sidekick/lancer/buddy characters remain overwhelmingly male. Our villain characters remain overwhelmingly male. That is to say: male characters continue to dominate all the most “plot relevant” roles in our narratives, and so long as male leads continue to be placed in roles where their most compelling emotional interactions and greatest sources of character growth are other male characters, slash ships will continue to dominate fandoms’ online presences.

(Hilarious: the dude bros who complain about the number of slash ships in their favorite series are often the very same ones supporting and becoming the writers whose shallow portrayals of female characters further bolster the popularity of said slash ships in the first place...)

Okay, I’ve made you wait long enough.

What does all of this have to do with Voltron?

Well, you’ve probably figured that part out already, actually.

If we consider the “emotional energy” and tension among Voltron’s main characters, there’s absolutely no question who is at the core, where the most plot relevant and meaningful emotional interactions have occurred, where the “heart” of the story is, in essence...

Hint: It’s Keith.

(Just a heads up: I’m going to use Klance as the example because it’s the most popular Voltron pairing according to the numbers, but any Sheith fan worth their salt could obviously very, very easily apply these ideas one-for-one to that ship, because clearly Shiro’s interactions with Keith are some of the most emotionally tense and compelling in the entire Voltron series--they are a consistent core of feeling energy for the show which naturally leads many people to support this ship. A large part of the reason that this post is tagged Sheith is because I am absolutely inviting Sheith shippers to use the theory and lens in this essay to analyze Sheith--using this idea to analyze Sheith will reveal a lot of intense emotional energy to discuss and validate that ship. I’m very tempted to put this paragraph in all caps or something so the Sheith shippers will actually read it and stop badgering me...)

Keith (and his relation with other characters) is the core of Voltron’s main plot, both in that he is positioned as the leader/the hero/the protagonist, and because, obviously, almost all of the series’ emotional high points (with the exception of “Crystal Venom” and Pidge’s search for Matt) somehow feature him.

Keith isn’t just central in the main plot though; he’s also central in the individual arcs of two other characters: Lance and Shiro. He’s a motivating and driving factor in both of these characters’ stories and change throughout the series, affecting their actions, attitudes, and self-worth, and so it should come as absolutely no surprise that Sheith and Klance are the series’ most popular ships.

But since Klance is the most popular pairing, the person I really want to talk about is Lance.

You can say a lot of things about Lance and the raging debates that occurred over whether or not Lance is a straight loverboy trope or not, but I don’t think any viewer of Voltron would deny that, if we consider the main cast members (Team Voltron plus Lotor), the core of Lance’s emotional energy and tension is Keith. His interactions with Keith--not even in a romantic sense, simply in a storytelling sense--are more important and dynamic than his on-screen interactions with any other main character.

From his laser focus on Keith at Garrison that caused him to invent a rivalry (this word is basically just a synonym for “emotional energy” at this point):

To comedic banter:

To the infamous bonding moment:

To a fledgling “right hand man” partnership:

To Lance’s insecurities:

The story of Voltron itself continuously reiterates that Lance’s interactions with Keith are more dynamic, more intense (even if we’re talking about “Rawr, I hate you, we’re rivals!” emotions instead of lovey-dovey stuff), and more plot relevant than Lance’s interactions with other characters in the series. Lance’s emotional arc is irrevocably centered on Keith until very, very late in the series.

More importantly: Lance’s motivation and personal plot line as a whole are centered on Keith. At it’s most basic, Lance’s character arc seems like it was supposed to center on Lance’s sense of self-worth--despite acting confident, Lance was actually insecure about his ability to help save the universe. Theoretically, his narrative should have focused on him becoming confident about his place on the team and his value as both a friend and fellow paladin to the other main characters. His arc should have been (and I guess theoretically still is? It’s just not... ever given much attention?) about him overcoming his insecurity by learning to recognize his own unique talents and discovering the things that only he can do to help Team Voltron succeed. (Hell, the entire Allurance thing could have been framed as “She’s completely out of my league” ---> “Whoa, originally I was putting Allura on a pedestal but actually she’s as much a member of this team as me--we’re in this together, side-by-side.”)

Whether or not the semi-incoherent narrative of Voltron actually delivered on this promise is iffy, but the set up in season 1-3ish is all there and all Keith:

At Garrison, Lance viewed Keith as a road block in his quest to becoming a fighter class student. Keith’s achievements and talent became a measuring stick for Lance’s own capabilities. He imagined a rivalry to make himself feel better/less insecure. His drive not to lose out to Keith is what dragged Hunk and Pidge along to Shiro’s rescue and ultimately led to the discovery of the Blue Lion. Lance comparing himself unfavorably to Keith as a paladin and pilot contributed to (mostly) one-sided animosity throughout the early seasons that gave way to a scene of Lance attempting to step down from the team because he didn’t see himself worthy of the position in comparison to Keith:

The logical conclusion that I think most fans would draw from these many scenes is that, as part of Lance’s overall character growth across the whole series, he needed to have a moment in which he recognized that he isn’t--and has never been--inferior to Keith.

Ultimately, the first five seasons continually reiterate the idea that, in terms of interactions, energy, and dynamic character growth, the most important main character in Lance’s story (other than Lance) is Keith.

Keith’s interactions with Lance are directly and immediately tied to Lance’s individual character arc/growth, and Keith is definitely the focus of Lance’s most meaningful emotional tension throughout seasons 1-5 at least.

Which means it shouldn’t come as any surprise that Klance is the most popular Lance ship, particularly when you set it side-by-side with the (increasingly canon) Allurance.

I just want to make this abundantly clear before I begin: I have absolutely nothing against Allurance shippers and, until it was done so poorly in season 5-6 (and potentially 7, I still haven’t even finished that one), I actually was okay with the possibility of Allurance being endgame because I thought there was potential for it to be done well. After what we’ve been given, I actually feel the Allurance shippers have been horribly shortchanged by the show’s real writing, and that I can’t personally support the ship the way it’s being written, but that’s not the fault of the characters themselves or anything inherently “wrong” with the ship. So please don’t take the rest of what I say here as ship hate--this is just observations from a literary analysis standpoint.

What has prevented Lance and Allura from gaining significant traction with the fans despite the fact that it’s edging close to canon territory if it isn’t canon already?

Well, one problem might be that Lance’s emotional energy has no bearing on Allura’s individual character development--and Allura’s emotional peaks have no bearing on Lance’s personal arc either (at least as far as it was established in early seasons and then left essentially unresolved).

Allura’s arc has, throughout the course of the show, centered on her ability to defeat her family’s foes, her grief for her lost people and planet, and her desire to follow in her father’s footsteps as a leader and in the Altean traditions as well. None of this has much of anything to do with Lance. Her growth as a character occurs--with the exception of the single shining scene on Naxela--completely independently of Lance. She lets her father’s memory go on her own in “Crystal Venom.” She faces Zarkon head-to-head by herself after rescuing Shiro. It’s Shiro who stops her from over-working herself to aid the coalition, not Lance. It’s Keith’s whose Galra blood forces her to re-examine and overcome some of her universal hatred for the Galra. It’s Lotor who helps her reach Oriande, and her own ingenuity that allows her to tame the White Lion and learn the secrets of Altean alchemy.

With the exception of the scene on Naxela where it was specifically Lance’s speech that motivated Allura to save the day, virtually all of her most charged emotions occurred elsewhere and with other characters, and there’s nothing in her personal goals--to be a strong leader, to revive her culture, to save the universe--that is intrinsically tied with Lance. He can encourage and aid her in those pursuits, but so can Shiro, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and Coran. The role of fellow paladin and supporting ally isn’t unique to Lance. His interactions with her don’t fill a niche that drives her personal plot lines outside of the romance subplot.

And the same thing is true in reverse.

We get this nice scene of Allura encouraging Lance and helping him work on his insecurity... And then it is promptly never mentioned again. (Where did the sword go, guys? Where???) Lance gives up Blue to Allura and she’s almost immediately gifted at piloting the Blue Lion, while Lance is shown struggling with Red (once more in Keith’s shadow) and still hadn’t, as of the end of season 6, seemed to have mastered it to the same extent as Keith. It’s Keith, Laika (an alien dog--not Allura guys, an alien dog) and the SPACE MICE that Lance expresses his insecurities to, and it’s Coran who is there for Lance’s touching scene expressing his longing to return to Earth. Lance’s personal arc about growing into the paladin role and becoming a selfless person who puts the team before his own desire for glory once again occurs independently of Allura, with little to no interaction, and even fewer emotional high points between them, in the entire first half of the show.

For both of these characters, their “real emotional energy”--their tension both positive and negative--occurs with other characters. The “believability” and energy of this ship is diminished by the fact that it simply isn’t the most well-written of character pairs in the series. The romance subplot isn’t organically tied to either of their personal plot lines, and the depth of their one-on-one interactions pales in comparison to their, particularly Lance’s, interactions with other characters.

But huh... would you look at that... When a potential romantic interest came along whose interactions with Allura were both directly tied to her personal arc, her central character motivations, and her emotional high points...

Isn’t it amazing how well it was received by the fandom--despite the fact that no one was really sure whether Lotor was evil or not? Now of course, I’m not going to ignore the fact that Lotura was probably helped along by leaving Keith, Lance, and Shiro free to ship elsewhere, but I don’t think the actual chemistry in the series’ writing itself should be ignored.

There was significantly, significantly more tension and nuance to Allura and Lotor’s interactions that any of Allura’s interactions with any of the other main cast, and their interactions operated not just in a romantic capacity, but also as a vehicle for Allura’s personal character growth:

The push and pull of these two characters and their scenes together sparked change in both of them, which augmented and increased the quality of their romantic arc while also furthering both of their own individual goals as characters.

The story painted them as equals with mutual interests, a shared interest in Altean culture, both victims (at least initially) of their parents’ war, both distrusting but ultimately lonely people who were longing for connection to, in Allura’s case, what had been lost, and in Lotor’s case, what he theoretically had never been able to have (except the writers did him dirty so jk).

I just don’t think there are many people who would argue that Allurance--or Allura’s interactions with any other male character--have been written with near as much depth, engagement, and integration with her motivations as Lotor and Allura’s were. Their plot literally got more screen time one-on-one in a single seven episode season than Allura and Lance did in the 43+ other episodes...

And for the the short time that it lasted, this pairing was embraced by many fans. I might be biased because I immediately went out and followed every Lotura blog I could find, but to me it seems like it was well-liked and generally well-regarded among shippers until the colony reveal (and by many still after). I was very excited by the writing of this ship and definitely wanted something meaningful to come out of it. Part of the fandom’s immense outrage at Lotor’s reveal was, I think, linked to the fact that this ship had been so convincingly written into the series before it.

This, to me, is a perfect example of a situation in which the emotional exchange between two characters exceeds the strength and depth of their interactions with others, leading to immediate adoption and approval as a ship by the fandom. Where the real energy is, there are the shippers.

PHEW! Let me take a deep breath and come up for air. There’s a lot going on here, but boiling it down to the basic point I’m trying to make, and which I’ll address in a lot more depth in the third and final part of this: the way that a story is written profoundly affects what ships will or will not become popular with fans. Shipping isn’t an unpredictable beast that grows completely independently of its source material. The ways writers craft interactions between their characters--and the places where they invest the most and infuse the most life--are powerful tools that impact how fans view and come to love seeing characters both separately and in romantic relationships.

To that end, while there are numerous reasons slash ships are popular and continue to grow in popularity, one reason that should be considered seriously by all creative writers--fanfiction authors or aspiring original novelists--is the notion that shipping often aligns with the core of a story’s or character’s emotional energy, the pairs with the highest tension, the electric pulse of the story’s most meaningful moments. Non-canon ships of any sexuality swell to mega-popularity when fans perceive more depth and significance in the interactions of characters outside the canon pair, when the emotional work of the story is happening somewhere outside the intentional romantic plot line. Sometimes this is fine. But more often, this is a bad sign for creators--a sign that you’ve fumbled in the writing of your main romantic leads.

As writers, questions we rarely ask ourselves but often should are: “Where is the core of the tension in my story? Whose interactions are deepest and most central to the development of my main character?”

In other words: Where is the real emotional energy in my story?

In part 3 I’m going to provide one more excellent case-in-point, and then close out with a discussion of some take-aways for writers from all this that might help strengthen your romantic subplots, whatever your genre or whoever your characters.

Go on to Part 3 ->

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magaprima · 4 years

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Part 2 Episode 2 Thoughts (4 of 4)

Lucifer making Lilith, after she loses the wager, wash his feet, while she’s literally on her hands and knees, a visual grovelling at his request, shows us all we need to know about their dynamic, about how he views Lilith only as a servant and that will never change, and that every time she has tried to defy him, every time she has challenged him, he has made sure to ‘put her in her place’. He quite literally says

‘are you humbled now, Lilith? Lest you forget I always win’

The way Lilith kneels on the floor, the way she cleans his hooves, is not just in a familiar way (it’s something she has done before and knows well) but there’s a resignation to it, the sign of someone who knows they’re trapped but equally knows escape is futile. And, for Lilith, there’s the added knowledge that she has become trapped in the very dynamic she ran away from in the Garden. But self-preservation is, by her own admittance, the only thing that matters to her, and denial of the reality of her situation is as much a survival technique as anything else.

The way she says ‘You are the one and only divine ruler, you know all’, is not said with passion but with repetition, she is remembering her lines as much as Sabrina was in the play, and that shows how often Lilith is made to say it (and conversely how Lilith has repeatedly tried to ‘prove her worth’ to Lucifer and been denied it). And speaking of the comparisons to the play, we have just seen Sabrina as Lilith kneel before Nick as Lucifer, but it was a moment of passion, a declaration of loyalty, and Lilith takes Satan’s offered hand as he lifts her up, making her visually equal, before they share a passionate kiss. But here, she is kneeling before him as a beaten down servant, he doesn’t offer his hand, he doesn’t lift her up, and he certainly doesn’t offer her passion or comfort or love. He keeps her on the floor where he clearly believes she belongs. There is never a more broken sight than when we see Lilith being forced to physically kneel and grovel to the Dark Lord.

His words are pitying rather than loving or even passionate, ‘Poor Lilith, you’re so lonely’. He belittles her here, dismissing her entire desire to win the wager, to be his prophet etc, all done to being lonely. He is doing what the rest of the patriarchy are doing; telling women that what they need is someone in their life, you don’t want power and success, you want a man, it’s not ambition you feel, it’s loneliness. And because Lilith knows his temper so well, and she knows he could easily severely punish her for challenging him, she keeps her eyes down mostly, but when he offers a gift, a half-compliment, she finally looks, and her eyes are wide, she is utterly childlike (the fact the camera views her from a lower angle, so she looks the same height as a child adds to this), and again we’re reminded of the fact that this dynamic is all she has ever known. This is her normal and that’s why it takes so long for her to break from it, to see it for what it is, to not grasp at straws such as half-compliments and gifts.

And then, like all abusers, his gift for her is tainted. He returns to Stolas to her in a display of approval ‘Perhaps a consolation prize for how you played the game’. Like you may have lost, but you impressed me, he is complimenting her like she’s a pet dog that needs reassuring for doing a trick. And then this modicum of ‘approval’ is in fact just a ploy of his to keep her on a tighter leash (to keep with the dog simile) so that Stolas can spy on her and report back. Like when abusers let their spouses have a friend, but in reality that friend is reporting everything back to the abuser, a false friend.

However, when Lilith sees Stolas, it’s more with shock and confusion than happiness. After all, she is the one that killed him, after he had kept saying things she didn’t like to hear, such as the fact Lucifer was grooming Sabrina to rule at his side instead of Lilith, and we get the general idea he’s always said things that sort of niggled at Lilith (as no one snaps a neck over one compliment, especially if he’s meant to be her familiar and someone she has shown affection for in previous episode), so his return, perhaps, is not viewed initially with joy.

And then she turns, realising that while she was distracted the Dark Lord had spirited himself away. He has literally turned her attention away with a trinket and then disappeared, without a farewell, without a final word...he is showing us that he really doesn’t consider her important or worthy of his respect, let alone his crown. I personally think, from her reactions to things, certain words, certain looks and microexpressions, that, deep down, Lilith knows this, but as I said before, denial is her current self-preservation technique on a lot of levels.

“Well the game continues then”

This alone seems to imply that she knows that truth, that this is all a very dangerous game she is desperate to win.

“And I’ll be damned, Stolas, before Sabrina becomes his herald”

How quickly she starts speaking to Stolas again, metaphorically embracing her familiar once more, reveals that Lilith is lonely, not in the way Lucifer was implying, but in a general way. I’ve said on other headcanon posts how she has never known anyone to care for her genuinely ever, she has had no one in her life except Lucifer, and while everyone has family, friends, fellow students, colleagues etc, Lilith has absolutely no one. And even an ancient witchy demoness needs someone to talk to.

And we finish the episode with her declaring Sabrina the competition, as Lucifer has made them competition, just as society has always tried to make all women pit ourselves against each other, to damn each other, rather than supporting.

#episode stuff

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baddieromanova · 5 years

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Why do you hate halice so much

Iwas deliberating on whether to make this short and sweet or long andintriguing. I went for the second.

For starters, they have no chemistry. Andchemistry is an important component for me when it comes to shipping, as I’msure it is with everyone and I know that doesn’t say much given the fact thatchemistry between couples doesn’t seem to be Riverdale’s strong suit anyway,but back to my initial point; The chemistry between Alice/Madchen andHal/Lochlyn was never strong to me and they seemed to lack it in everydepartment, sexual, emotional, romantic, platonic, intellectual, you name it,they ranked low on the scale in all of them. There appears to be a generalconsensus within fandoms that chemistry is subjective based on the sexualpassion between two people but as briefly mentioned before chemistry is a muchlarger scale. This isn’t just something I’m applying to Halice either becausebelieve me I’ve shipped couples who’s sexual/passionate chemistry wasn’t thatstrong but their emotional and intellectual and platonic chemistry was off thecharts, so despite Alice and Hal’s sexual/passion related chemistry lackingwhile Alice and FP’s literally jumps off the screen, I still couldn’t root forthat ship because the other aspects of chemistry are also non existent.

Secondly, and I’ve stated this before, they are an incredibly boring and clichecouple, who to be honest have nothing ship or root worthy going for them.There’s no interesting dynamic, they’re very dull and incredibly basic. They’repretty much an adult B/ghead to be honest. While the Riverdale writers triedand failed to apply the bad boy good girl trope to that couple, Halice gotslapped with the suburban Stepford duo trope but also included the woman with abad girl past married to the rich guy who could help her escape it trope. Bigmistake as it pretty much rendered Halice as doomed from the start, not tomention those tropes are over done and the first one can be incredibly boring.I’ve seen this trope with TV couples before who I knew were destined forfailure from the beginning and I was always right. So in my head, whenever Isee these types of pretty suburban picture couples I don’t care about thembecause they always end in disaster and I’m starting to think it’s intentionalfor TV writers. I’m sure there’s a whole list but one TV couple/family thatcomes to mind that I compare Halice/the Coopers to is Bree and Rex/the Van derKamps from Desperate Housewives. Bree and Rex? Not ship worthy, in fact sounworthy of shipping that I’m pretty sure a lot of Desperate Housewives fanshave forgotten who he was and he ranks the lowest on the list of Bree’s ships.These couples are always more concerned with keeping up a facade of being theideal perfect suburban family for the rest of the town while behind that whitePickett fence is a whole bunch of fuckery going on that they deliberatelyignore or try to brush under the carpet. These couples also seem to haveproblems within their marriage or their marriage is already dead and they’vespent so long caring more about their image over anything else that they don’teven realise it yet. There’s also never really any romance, you find yourselfquestioning if they’re actually in love or just a legally binding co parentingarrangement under the same roof. I absolutely hated what this obsession did forAlice’s character and her as a person. I wasn’t fond of her in the early stagesof the show, I started to understand her more in 1x08 and warm towards her inmid season two because I saw who she really was. When Hal wasn’t in the pictureand she decided the bullshit he pulled with Polly was the final straw, shestopped being that judging heartless suburban cow and actually became a mother.And then when Hal came back into the picture in early season two parts of thatAlice that I didn’t like before kind of creeped out and I hated it, it made menot only sick but skip a lot of Cooper family scenes. That for me confirmedthat it was Hal’s presence that made Alice so unlikeable, and that’s the reasonI had been rooting for a Halice divorce since season one. And to get personalfor a minute, I believe in ship and let ship but I’m sorry, I have to abandonthat rule where Halice is concerned because I just don’t understand how anybodycan genuinely ship them and I don’t believe anybody actually does. The onlypeople who “ship” Halice are people who are anti Falice, which pretty muchproves my point as they don’t like the couple, they just hate the onesupposedly competing against it. It’s what I like to call spite shipping;Rooting for one of the characters in an established ship to be with somebodyelse, despite it possibly being a toxic pairing, (this isn’t always the case,most times the couple that’s being spite shipped is perfectly unproblematic andhealthy) simply because you hate the relationship that character is already inor even pretending to care about a couple and “ship” them because you want topit them against a couple that you hate and use that spite ship to shit onthem. I’ve seen this so much in the fandom recently and hey, I’m no stranger toit either, I spite shipped Barchie because I’m not a fan of the other Bettypairing but the truth is I honestly do not give a rats ass about Barchie,whether they’re endgame whether they get screentime, I just don’t care and Inever have, in fact I want Archosie to be endgame and I don’t actually shipBetty with anybody because to me she’s one of those characters who are betteroff single. While we’re still on topic I’ll provide more examples, Fladys has abunch of spite shippers. FP always looks like he wants to blow his brains outwhenever he’s in Gladys’ presence on top of that she’s also using him and hasan ulterior motive for coming back into his life, Skeet has also describedtheir relationship as toxic himself. Given all that you’d think they’drightfully have no support but of course people hate Falice just that much sothey’ve jumped aboard the sinking Fladys ship. I’ve also heard this appears tobe the case with some Veggie and Archosie shippers or should I say “shippers”as I’ve seen one or two people make call our posts about some fans of those twopairings just being very anti Varchie, I’m not 100% sure but if it’s true thenyes it’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about. As for putting shipsagainst each other this also happened with some of the Falice anti’s in theteen character fandoms and Tierra. For like 3 weeks, it was all “We don’t careabout the parents! This is a teen show! Fuck the fossils!” whenever parentdalestans talked about the parents and screen time then after 3x12 it was all “Tomand Sierra are the only wrinklys who deserve rights! The best parent ship!”They did all that just to shit on Falice they never cared about Tom and Sierra.What made it funnier is that these very people didn’t even know Sierra’s nameuntil maybe a month ago, they had been calling her mayor McCoy or Josie’s mumfor like 3 seasons.

Thirdly, and this is more subjective, Hal is just a dick.And that’s putting it nicely. I had this opinion long before the black hoodfiasco, which I will not talk about in this post, so I don’t get accused ofbeing biased or falling for the writers supposed retcon to make Falice happenand end Halice recklessly when Halice stans find this. In fact, I had thisopinion long before I even shipped Falice, which is just shy of a year now. Toput it bluntly I disliked Hal from season one, 1x08 to be exact and even beforethat I just didn’t care about him, learning more about him and his and Alice’sback story certainly didn’t help that either. That whole argument between thetwo of them in episode 8 is enough to hop off the Halice ship. The scene isaround 3 minutes long and in it we learnt that the two are clearlyincompatible, don’t trust each other enough to tell the other important things(more so a problem on Hal’s part), Hal doesn’t respect her highly enough as hiswife and that Hal is a controlling asshole who thinks he can police women’sbodies. (There was more that we learnt about their relationship but it’sirrelevant to this section of the post) As a womanist, heck, as a selfrespecting person who doesn’t let anybody, especially men (aka Mother Nature’sbiggest mistake) treat me like shit I can’t root for a couple where the husbandtreats his wife like that, it’s just not gonna happen. Do I also need tomention he had the audacity to try and stop her from tracking down her longlost son as if he should have even had a say in the matter in the first place?Regardless of paternity? Yeah, nuff said.

Fourthly, and this is also partly subjective,the writers have established (and I am well aware that’s not saying much eithergiven that the show’s writers are terrible) that Falice is the ship directionthey’re going into and Halice and even Fladys shouldn’t even be consideredcompetition or anything of the kind. This isn’t a love triangle or square. It’snot a rivalry or another Delena vs Stelena or Brucas vs Leyton. Falice is theship they get asked about, Falice is the ship they’ve spent 3 seasons buildinga back story and relationship around, Falice is the ship that gets attention inthe media while the other two are paid dust. The writers have made it clearthat FP and Alice are victims of the one that got away trope and are still verymuch in love. Halice and Fladys are the furthest thing from competition,they’ve already got Hal the fuck up out here and have presented Gladys as avillain making a play for the town and engaging in criminal activity whilesimultaneously pulling the wool over her Sheriff husband’s eyes so they’repretty much a ticking time bomb already that I can’t wait to see explode. Sowith all of this, of course I’m not going to be a fan of Halice knowing thewriters have/had other plans in mind.

#falice #halice #fladys

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josephbinningyoumatter · 3 years

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In Order to Love Someone Well, You Must Love Yourself, First * 12 Easy Steps to Learn How

"The story of the human race is the story of men and woman selling themselves short". Abraham Lincoln Love, we all seek it. We all need it. We all desire it. But to give yourself freely and Love someone, genuinely Love someone, you must first be Lovable. To be Lovable, you must Love yourself, first. Loving yourself is an important factor to living well. It will influence who you spend your life with and with creating your memories, how you will choose your friends (like attracts like), how you will deal with the many problems life will throw at you, and your own well-being. How you see yourself is how you will treat, or mistreat, yourself. But how do you Love yourself, first? Loving yourself first does not mean buying it, aka bribes. You cannot get it in a beauty salon or doctor's office. There is no magic pill or external source that can make you genuinely Love yourself for more than a minute or a moment. There is no external relationship that can fix a sense of a non-Loving nature. These can satisfy you for a moment, but only a moment. Loving yourself first is not a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It’s dynamic; it grows through actions that mature us. When we act in ways that validate our Love for ourselves, we accept our weaknesses, and our strengths, accept our short-comings, show compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning in this life, can live more in alignment in our life’s purpose and values, and can begin living a full life through our own efforts.

I am reminded of a story of when Confucius met Lao Tzu. Many think Lao Tzu to be the original author of the Tao Te Ching, which has gained worldwide influence since published, being the most published book in history, after the Holy Bible. The influence of Confucius on Chinese culture over past centuries has also been considerable. His approach to life is opposite to life to that of Lao Tzu, as the following tale shows: Lao Tzu and his teachings were always a concern of Confucius. It is said that once he went to see Lao Tzu. He was older than Lao Tzu, so he wanted Lao Tzu to behave with manners, as an old man expects. But Lao Tzu was sitting, and he would not even stand to greet him. He would not even say, “Sit down, sir,” and he didn’t pay much attention to him. Confucius became furious. What type of master is this? And he said, “Don’t you follow any manners?” Lao Tzu said, “If you feel like sitting, you sit; if you feel like standing, you stand. Who am I to say anything about it? It is your life. I do not interfere.” It shocked Confucius. Then he asked something about the superior man, the gentleman, and Lao Tzu laughed, and he said, “I have never come across any ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’. Men are men as trees are trees and everything takes part in the same existence. Nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish!” Confucius became very much afraid. And this man Lao Tzu had tremendous silence around him; he was a pool of silence. When I read this tale, it rang true to me in so many ways. For many of my younger years I did not feel Lovable. I felt inferior. I did not feel “worthy” of Love by another, so I would follow unhealthy ways and make terrible choices in life. When you realize nobody is superior and nobody is inferior, and it is all nonsense and rubbish, and make the active choice to believe it you will stop comparing your life to that of others and you will stop building false scenarios of what you feel your life should look like in order for you to Love yourself. Loving yourself first is a wonderful adventure. It's like learning to do something well for the first time. Your confidence grows. You walk with a swagger. You realize that there is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. You see your value and worth. You feel you are worthy of the Love you desire. The Love that you were born to share.

Here are 12 suggestions to discover how to Love yourself first, so you may Love someone well: - Give yourself a break Stop with the negative self-talk in your mind and especially out loud. Every time you beat yourself up and criticize yourself, you affirm in your mind that you are not worthy. Stop it! I know of only one perfect and we are not it. - Change your thoughts and change the outcome Stop telling yourself that you will fail or that you are a failure. What the mind thinks, the mouth says. What the mouth says, the heart believes. What the heart believes, the body reacts to. Start seeing yourself as worthy and Lovable. - Apologize to yourself for your past behaviors You are human, so you will make mistakes. A poor decision does not make you a bad person. It only makes it a poor decision. If you hurt someone you deeply cared about, you wouldn’t withhold an apology to them. - Be kind to yourself. We all have an inner child we live with all our lives. When you berate a child they shut down, withdraw, and don’t grow healthily. When you make a mistake, and you will, don’t berate yourself. Learn from it, try not to repeat it, and do better. But be kind to yourself.

- Be patient with yourself It took me quite some time to change my inner thoughts of feeling unworthy of Love to realizing that I am the person who I was designed to be, not perfect, but perfect for me. Don’t expect change to happen overnight, but don’t let yourself take forever either. Set healthy expectations and bring yourself along at a steady pace. - Remind yourself you are worthy Just as you used to beat yourself up when you made a mistake, remind yourself when you did something good. Praise, recognition, and to be “seen” is something we all need and desire. Tell yourself regularly that you are worthy, worthy of Love, worthy of kindness, worthy of a fulfilling life. - Allow others to support you Tell your friends and Loved ones what you are doing, how you are creating a new you. Ask them for support. Find support groups, read books, subscribe to blogs that speak to this. Find like-minded people who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear, which will help you grow as a person and help you see the exceptional person you really are. - Care for yourself as you care for other Loved ones Self-care is the principal cause of a healthy self-esteem and sense of self. You cannot care for others if you don’t train yourself to care for yourself first. - Nurture your body-temple Your body is your temple, stop treating it like a garage, its holy, its sacred, its blessed, and it’s a reflection of you. What do you do with the old things you don’t care for? You stick it in a box and stuff it in the garage and forget about it. Polish it, clean it, give it what it needs to flourish. - Make Positive self-talk a regular part of your day When you wake up ask the man, women, or child you see in the mirror each day if they are doing the best they can, to be the best human they can. Hold them accountable. They will doubt. When they do, remind them you Love them, and they are worthy of your Love. Say it until they believe it. They will thank you for it.

- Enjoy yourself Learn to enjoy your own company. Being alone gives you time to spend, bond, and appreciate your new best friend. We develop Love with face time, intimate times, shared moments, not distance. Learn to be still and remind yourself you are worthy of your time, because you are worthy of being Loved. - Love yourself first I once knew someone who could care so much for others but could not care for themselves. That person was me. Do not let it be you. You are worthy of Love because you are Love. You might also like this: DON’T WAIT TO FIND OUT YOU ARE DYING BEFORE YOU START LIVING And this one: WHAT I LEARNED FROM BEING STUCK AND FROZEN If you have enjoyed this article, please visit me at www.JosephBinning.com for more helpful tips and articles. You can also get more helpful information in my book You Matter, even if you don’t think so which you can purchase on Amazon here Amazon You Matter, even if you don't think so For my free report Happiness Is A Choice click here: Happiness Is A Choice Free Report

Remember: Happiness is a choice, so be happy.

Read the full article

#acceptance #care #choice #feel #grow #Happiness #identity #LaoTzu #learn #life #live #Love #man #matter #motivation #powerHappiness #relationships #remind #see #selfimage #stop #time #worthy #youmatter

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loverowie · 3 years

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#5 WHAT EVERY MAN NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO LOVES THEM

Good morning, Gentlemen, please have a seat—this will take a few minutes. I’ve asked you here to explain something that is long overdue and could possibly be the most important advice you’ve received since your father told you to always carry a condom in your wallet just in case.

It’s about your woman, your wife, your girlfriend, the mother of your children, any woman involved in your life to the extent that she knows your trials and struggles and provides you emotional support. Yes, her; not you. So, this might be a good time for the first insight. You are not the center of the universe. She may make you feel as though you are—we’re good at that. It’s how we care for you, build you up and make you feel worthy and important. But it’s not true. Deal with it.

You see, we have created a protective bubble for you to fend off most of the realities of the world. We have wrapped you in our softness to protect you from the harshness of ever realizing that the world can be a cruel place that does not care one iota about your fragile ego. But we do. We devote a considerable amount of time and energy caring for it, making sure it is never bruised, and when perchance it is, we patch it up with compliments and accolades so you can carry on.

We’ve not only accepted this role, we are genetically programmed for it. For centuries, perhaps since the beginning of time, women have adopted the role by instinct or conditioning, thinking it was our place, our mission, and our purpose. We’ve served as the support team, running behind the marathoner, making sure you are hydrated, well fed, cheered on, and fortified to compete out there in your professional life, your career, or whatever you endeavor, because we have chosen you and we need and want you to be successful. We know your success is key to your emotional well-being and in turn our happiness. You see, we are attached to you. Yes, we are independent, liberated, and emotionally mature women, but we have attached our lives to yours. By virtue of our relationship, we are tangled up in you and must keep us both moving forward and safe or suffer the consequences.

For the most part, you don’t even notice as we subtly and silently go about the business of supporting you. You take for granted the cheerful greeting, the warm embrace, the soft chest on which to lay your head at the end of a trying day, those very special moments that always seem to be there for you. You don’t recognize the conversation that we hold with you always ends with you feeling better about what you must face, feeling confident and capable to handle the situation and knowing how to navigate your emotions around any situation. That’s not a coincidence. We are doing your emotional work, or at the very least guiding you through it. We are constantly reminding you to stay present, acknowledge what is happening within you, and express yourself as openly as you can so you are not only emotionally available to us, but also more dynamic and successful in the world in general.

We do this out of love. We want you to succeed, accomplish, thrive. We care that you are happy and fulfilled. We love you. But here’s the thing, guys: that love makes us vulnerable. We expend lots of energy and emotional equity doing all this for you and for us. And we risk running on empty, depleting our stores. You see, what happens to us happens to us and what happens to you also happens to us. We feel for you in a very empathic, emotional way, and it affects us deeply. We worry and we grieve. We take on your troubles and are spun out of our orbit when something catastrophic occurs. But most times we push through as we must, and it is the aftermath that is our undoing.

The emotional fallout of holding us together goes on beyond the event, way past the time when you have moved on. It can be a few hours, days, or longer, requiring adequate space and conscious effort for us to recharge. Pay attention to us. When we run out of life, when our light grows dim, we need you. Your kind words and tender touch will revive us and help us recover. Say thank you, say you’re sorry, hold us close, take a walk with us at sunset, share an ice cream, draw a hot bath, and just be attentive. It will bring us back to our powerful selves and your efforts will be rewarded exponentially.

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realsocialskills · 7 years

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We need to be as good at lifting up as we are at calling out

In advocacy/activist space, we’ve gotten really good at noticing and naming oppression. We’ve gotten really good at criticizing the things that people are doing wrong, and demanding change. We’re also good at noticing organizations and people who shouldn’t be supported, and explaining why people shouldn’t support them.

This is important — and it’s not enough. We need to be equally good at noticing and naming things that *are* worth supporting. We need to be equally good at noticing what people are doing well, describing why their approach is good, and finding ways to support it. Calling out isn’t enough. We need to seek out things to lift up.

When we focus exclusively on finding things to call out, we send the implicit message that nothing good anyone is doing is worthy of our attention. But none of the work of building a better world happens by itself. It depends on the people who are putting the effort into doing the work. When we ignore the value of the work people are doing, we both harm those people and the work itself.

The work is hard, exhausting, and vital. It’s also often thankless — because we’re not acknowledging it in the way we need to be. Often, doing activism and advocacy means signing up for a life of being paid less than a living wage (or volunteering your very limited time), having your work ignored, and being noticed by your community only when people are angry at you.

This is particularly common when the work is done by marginalized people. Our culture socializes us to ignore the work that women and other marginalized groups do, except when we find reason to criticize it. This dynamic carries over into activism/advocacy spaces. It’s just as toxic when we do it as when corporations do it.

There’s nothing inevitable about this. We can make it stop. We can pay attention to the work people are doing, and we can show respect to the people doing it. We can describe the worthwhile things people are doing, and talk about why they should be valued. We can seek out ways to support what people are doing, whether that means donating, signal boosting, going out and voting, connecting people to each other, or any number of other things. By getting just as good at support as we are at call outs, we can make the world much better.

#social skills #activism #advocacy #call out culture #criticism #support #solidarity #the work #supporting the work

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sobdasha · 4 years

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i got caught up with this not because i did better but because i’ve had no time/watched some tv

War for the Oaks, Emma Bull I began reading this book at the same time as The Innkeeper's Song, listed below. I started out dragging my feet on this one and racing through TIS. But one book got progressively more amazing while the other book got progressively less impressive and my better book is this one. This was the roomie's first brush with urban fantasy, and one of her friends got her a second-hand first edition paperback, and so she talked about it a lot until I finally picked it up and she said "Uh but also I haven't read it in forever so I uh. Don't know how it holds up." (She rightly fears me because as you will have noticed I am a Very Particular Reader.) Reasons I disliked this book at first: - fashion choices that scream "1980s" and fashion choices that scream "lesbian" are incredibly similar and guess which of the two I am not getting, seeing as this was published in 1987. - Eddie is breaking up with her garbage boyfriend which is good but she has an incredible amount of chemistry with Carla which is disheartening given that I know I won't get sapphics and Eddie will end up dating some other boy with whom there is no chemistry. - This is a book about rock-n-roll bands I don't know any of these songs (okay I might know these songs but I don't know artists or titles so I may as well not know any of these songs) it's kinda wasted on me. - oh boy I'm so excited to watch her and the phouka fight like Kagome and Inuyasha or any other pair with this dynamic yaaaaay /sarcasm Reasons this came to be a Good Read: - Everyone dresses so goddamn queer in this book that you know what, everyone except that jerkass Stuart is queer. He's garbage so he can be straight or whatever. It's my reading experience I do what I want. There's no way these people aren't bi. Also it's canon because everyone takes one look at the phouka and assumes he's gay. …………………………with slurs but still. - Good supporting cast. - I both failed to give the phouka a deep voice and also to sustain a Stereotypical Gay voice (which, the dialogue will totally 100% support), but I did accidentally voice him with Tatum's dub of Tomoe from Kamisama Kiss which was completely appropriate in the "vaguely gay vaguely British unambiguously prissy" department, and also entertaining because it reminded me of the dynamics in that anime but, y'know, better. - I almost gave up when the romance hit hardcore but it turned out later that was actually a fake-out that was meant to be garbage and set us up for the endgame much later, by which point Eddie and the phouka actually had the same level of chemistry as Eddie and Carla, so I could actively enjoy the ship. A win! Anyway it was fun. It may not have aged the best in the sense that it strove to be accurate to time and place (see: homophobic slurs), but the character dynamics held up pretty dang well. I would definitely read this again and enjoy myself; in fact I plan to.

The Innkeeper's Song, Peter S. Beagle I was very excited to read this because I was so blown away by The Last Unicorn but the more I read the more disappointed I got. Half the time I feel like that weeb who is like "hello I only like your fanfic you wrote when you were 13 and high on pixie stixs, all your stuff now sucks", and half the time I tell myself, "Maybe there is a reason I've only ever heard of The Last Unicorn and had no idea he'd actually written other books." As you have probably picked up by now, I have a knee-jerk dislike of first person PoV where it must prove itself worthy to me first, despite the fact that I like plenty of things written in first person. I also have a knee-jerk dislike of "I will change the narrator every chapter and announce loudly who it is instead of doing it subtly but unmistakably in the content of the text itself." This book had both. Despite all my harsh judgment, it would be incorrect of me to say that this writing choice is not valid. That this writing choice cannot be used to amazing effect. I do not believe that is what happened here. I did not feel it was adding much to the story to begin with (other than being the shortest and straightest path to advancing a narrative with many fronts), and I was definitely unimpressed when we got to the string of chapters, all of them less than a page and some no more than a paragraph, during the orgy scene where the 3 women have sex with 1 teen boy who's been thirsting after them, and they pay him a lot of worshipful attention in the orgy even though none of them actually like him, and also this is when we reveal one of the women is a man in disguise in the most confusing way possible so my cringe got even deeper as I waited for Beagle to fuck up a trans storyline. (It was literally just "I'm on the run so I'm magically dressing as a girl" but it took a really long time to clarify that after.) In addition to not liking the narrative structure, I just wasn't interested or invested in the actual plot. It didn't feel very urgent or important and at the end I was like "what even happened and also why did it happen." I was underwhelmed. I was definitely the wrong audience for this book. Oh also because I was not enjoying myself I started to get really irrationally annoyed by the way fantasy fauna and flora would have fantasy names and they would be italicized. In a first person PoV. Where the narrator is literally speaking the language that this word is native to. It half felt pretentious, and half highlighted what felt like a loose thread: everyone is literally narrating to someone (presumably collecting the story, after everyone has gone their separate ways) and this has all been woven together into a proper narrative, but our story collector is absent despite addresses to such a person. What purpose does this serve? Does it make it more ~authentic~ fantasy? Because I don't buy it. Now my suspension of disbelief is snapped; I'd have preferred it was either left out entirely, or made into a brilliant framing device like in The Name of the Wind.

Giant Bones, Peter S. Beagle This one was short stories "set in the same universe as The Innkeeper's Song", which basically meant some city names were reused, as well as all those italicized fantasy names and the "I am narrating my story to an audience in-story" frame. You know, all the things I didn't particularly care for. I pressed on to see if there was anything I might like, but since I can't remember, I assume there wasn't. Because this left me wanting, and the title was Giant Bones, I went to reread Conservation of Shadows by Lee instead, starting with "The Bones of Giants," which was greatly preferable, so much more my speed. That's when I did the write-up for the last round of books lol.

Nimona, Noelle Stevenson This has been on my list for Forever but I'm bad at reading new books. Anyway! Nimona was very good!! It felt, hm, very self-indulgent in the way that is amazing, where the creator gives themself whatever they want and the work turns out brilliantly because of it. I didn't think I was into friends to enemies to lovers but apparently I love it wen Stevenson handles it (see: She Ra reboot). Speaking of She Ra, I probably would have figured out where the end game was going if I'd read Nimona before looool. I know people referenced it when they talked ships but I just….didn't...pay enough attention. There was found family stuff I enjoyed, dad stuff, I'm finding that I am liking a lot of takes on monster girls, etc. Anyway it gave me a lot of feelings, it was funny, it was good, I need to get a copy.

The Dragon Pearl, Yoon Ha Lee The first time I talked about this book I mentioned something about the pacing and suspending disbelief or whatever, but I want to note that this time the pacing felt perfect and the plot didn't seem weird at all, it flowed very smoothly. I don't know if that's because it was a reread and I knew where it was going, or because I just read it awkwardly the first time. Anyway. Something that stood out to me this time is that, near the end, I realized this story is a bit animated Disney Mulan. There's even the "you broke this you broke that you impersonated a soldier but also you saved China so thanks" bit. Where The Dragon Pearl is wildly different from other Mulan-type stories that I like (see: Monstrous Regiment) is that it is entirely ungendered. (There are some mentions of gender in the book. These amount mostly to, "most foxes choose to be female because Tradition but one of my cousins decided to be male like my brother and no one mocks him for it" and "official name tags also include handy signifiers of which personal pronouns a person prefers.") What I'm trying to say is, a lot of other stuff when dealing with/trying to deconstruct gender stereotyping, ends up reinforcing it in a way. In order to illustrate why the stereotypes are wrong, they end up repeating the stereotypes a lot in order to argue against them. The Dragon Pearl, on the other hand, is genderless in a way that doesn't reinforce the gender binary. There are no gendered clothes. There are no gendered bathrooms. There are no gendered hairstyles or accessories. There are no gendered actions or emotions or stereotypes. There are no gendered bodies (the differences highlighted between Min and Jang-who-she's-shapeshifting-into are of build ie, height, center of gravity, not of private bits). No plot points revolve around the maleness of the person Min is impersonating; no plot points revolve around the femaleness of Min. And they/them? It's never explained why any person uses that pronoun. They just do so that's just how it is. I just think this is amazingly neat and I wanna applaud Lee for this finesse.

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, Mackenzi Lee I put this on my list because Queer and people were recommending it, but it was not well-advertized to me. I was expecting shallow teen romance, but dressed in historical clothes and unsubtly, unabashedly, unashamedly GAY. So I was expecting some gay. I was not expecting gay pining I actually enjoyed, I was not expecting call-outs for privilege of wealth and class and sex and color, I was not expecting the drama of the romance to not be stupidly fabricated misunderstandings but instead be driven by the need for character development and personal growth, I had forgotten I was expecting people of color, people with disabilities, badass women, I was not expecting a nuanced call-out of ableism ("I don't believe I need to be well to be happy", etc). I was not expecting a reversal of gender stereotypes that avoided saying "X gender is bad." Like, Monty is the team weakest link. Monty faints at the sight of blood. Monty is romantic and emotional and swoons at the slightest provocation. Monty uses his wiles to seduce people, that's the main skill he actually brings to the party. Monty cries. Aside from probably Monty's asshole dad who hates him for being gay, no one else nor the narrative calls these traits out as being Feminine (And Therefore Bad). Like, haha, We All Know These Are All Stereotypes Of Women At The Time, but no one says it. I find there's something really nice about no one saying it. Meanwhile, Percy and Felicity are competent and cool and I heart them. (What the hell, I heart Monty too. He really grows on you. He's so soft and in love and pathetic.) Anyway going back to the privilege thing, I love that Percy and Felicity and others constantly call Monty out on his privilege and refuse to coddle him over it. But they also care about him and they are very tender to him, not because of his privilege, but because he is a person who deserves basic person things, when he has his own issues. Your issues don't excuse your behavior, but yikes we deeply underestimated the sheer depth of your PTSD and we're gentler with you because of it. So try to stop being an ass. This book is just super wholesome and I can already tell this will be one of my new go-to's when I need a comfort book. Like Ancillary Justice etc.

The Gentleman's Guide to Getting Lucky, Mackenzi Lee This is not a fanfiction in the sense that is it written by the author and not a fan, but you need to understand, as part of me selling this to you as earnestly as I can, this is a fanfiction set after The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue which involves hijinks as Monty and Percy try and fail hilariously to have their first time having sex together, Felicity tries to wingman, there are miscommunications and nervous breakdowns and tender resolutions and it is absolutely a perfect indulgence. Because it was written by the actual author everyone is 100% in character and the narrative voice is spot-on. Kudos!

The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, Mackenzi Lee Ace/aro Felicity???? ACE/ARO FELICITY!!! TBH I only vaguely remembered the descriptions for this one, ie "this time it's lesbians," and I was reading this going "there is a suspicious lack of lesbians but so much platonic vibes and also…..maybe…..maybe…????" and like I got both lesbians AND ace/aro Felicity????? Lee wrote this book? As a gift? For me???? I cannot believe I was blessed with "not like other girls"!Felicity as a vehicle for calling out the internalized misogyny inherent in the Not Like Other Girls mindset, and it is glorious. You can like pretty dresses and running around doing science, or you can hate dresses and only love science, or you can only like pretty dresses, or you can like whatever the heck you want in whatever combo, doesn't matter you're still a girl you're still valid and this shit isn't mutually exclusive. Much as I don't wear makeup (I've slowly learned to wear dresses again) in real life, gosh I love Johanna for being like "I love dresses and I love science and what if I was a badass adventurer but also got to be rescued a lot" because that was bitty me. Gimme a princess dress and a sword and a bow and arrows but also a tower to be rescued from and then various adventures. I want it both ways! And that's okay!! Also this is a critique I have apparently wanted since at least 3rd grade, see this proof from my daily journal prompts, I apologize for my lack of attention to spelling and forming letters: "Girls are what ever girls are. Girls like different things so I con't judge them all. Some girls like barbies. Just becaus you my not like barbies dosn't mean those girls aren't girls, it means they like more things that hove barbies. I like nintendo and I'm a girl." Apparently I was a Not Like Other Girls who thought Other Girls were still extremely valid. (that's kind of hilarious though because like, child, you had Barbies and didn't hate Barbies, you are just bad at playing with dolls and props. You're also bad at playing Nintendo.) Other stuff specifically, hm, it was refreshing to not have "I am skinny and perfect and clearly ugly" or even "I am legitimately ugly." Instead we have, "You do realize my torso is a solid rectangle, it laughs at this corset which I guess we are going to put on anyway, also my football player shoulders are going to literally pop the sleeves off that dress" and "I am built like a corgi dog, this is simply a fact of my proportions." Like, Felicity definitely has Issues with her traditional femininity and lack thereof, but I feel like it was never specifically tied to "my body shape is ugly." Also to go back to this book being written for me personally. You know they always say to write things that only you could write, that are self-indulgent, write what you want to see? It's really hard to do without a template to follow. Right before I picked up this book I realized that maybe The Thing Only I Would Write would be saying "a Skadi-and-Njord marriage is in fact a valid happy ending," but I've never seen that before and I don't know what it would look like even if I kind of understand the concept. All the media I consume, if not ending in romantic soulmates, is at least found family. If you are a loner, if you like being alone, your happy ending is to get a manic-pixie-dream-anything (girl, grandson, grandma, dog, whathaveyou) and integrate back into being social. There are no happy endings where a loner stays alone, where you get married but live separately and see each other very rarely because you love them but can't stand to live with them and you need to be alone to exist as you. And Mackenzi Lee just up and wrote it. It's valid to want to live in a house by yourself filled with bookshelves and have friends. It's valid for a girl to marry another girl who is a pirate and sails around most of the time and only comes to visit on occasion so you don't get sick of her and you keep loving her. This is an okay thing for an ace/aro to want, and it's valid to be happy with this. I can't even, y'all. I'm still marveling. I finally have seen a picture of the life I know would make me happy, and it's finally been acknowledged that I can be happy. (The amount of time I've spent, knowing I hate being social, and wondering--how many years down the line, when I'm living alone and content, will the switch suddenly flip? How many bridges will I have left behind when it turns out that I actually feel loneliness, and I'm miserable and unable to make friends and it turns out there are no manic pixie dream whatevers in real life and I fucked myself over forever because I was wrong and I should have been maintaining these social ties now and turning into someone I'm sure I'm not? What if people like me, who don't really get lonely without people, don't actually exist??) Anyway representation matters. Also Felicity being blindsided with Callum's proposal was, wow, okay I should have caught on to ace!Felicity then because that was so very accurate to my life experience minus people cutting fingers off. Look I was quoting stuff at the end to a friend and she was like "maybe that's why there's aces on the cover" and I am a very stupid ace okay. Felicity and Johanna's intense queerplatonic friendship that they keep trying to take up again in among the same sort of "you need character growth" drama that Monty needed re: Percy is also just, chef kiss, god I love this book. I need to buy this book. I haven't yet so what I did is I renewed all the books so I could immediately reread them after I finished them the first time.

#sobdasha booking

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feministangertranslator · 6 years

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The Daily Deluge

Image from Femstella

Bombshells big and small are being dropped daily as the result of the #metoo movement. I feel disappointed I don't have more hours in the day to read every tidbit of news about what is shaping up to be another major chapter in feminism, let alone sit down, process, and write about my perspective on it. I really wanted to have written more here by now. I am so busy loving the smell the Napalm in the morning, it’s hard to get much of anything else done. Sometimes I want to call in sick to everything and everybody, make a bowl of popcorn and watch the patriarchy burn down from the comfort of my cozy home. Honestly, I could eat this shit up all day and don’t want to miss a minute of it.

This, unfortunately, leads me to often find myself in ravenous consumption mode as opposed to thoughtful and deliberate output mode: I am devouring all of the news of the men who have been accused of sexual misconduct and their (mostly ridiculous) statements - I’m not even going to call those PR and attorney crafted liability avoiders apologies. Equally, I enjoy all of the beautiful heart-filled articles, posts, and videos from other survivors of sexual assault who are expressing reactions, thoughts, and feelings to which I strongly relate. I have a docket of saved articles in my Facebook account, tons of bookmarked Instagram posts, and cued up podcasts competing for my attention. I have to force myself to pull out of the social media rabbit hole, get up and away from my computer (sometimes TV) to go brush my teeth, straighten my hair, put food in my mouth, earn money, and do other things that are vital to taking care of myself. They seem so much more boring in comparison to the day of reckoning that seems to be unfolding right before my eyes.

I must resist this siren call for a few reasons. Firstly, I know this is the position our capitalist society wants me in: too busy watching, ingesting, consuming, buying, and promoting the ideas and goods being peddled by others to get angry about all the more important injustices and inequities from the fallout of capitalism befalling me and the rest of us. Fuck that. That is one of the reasons why I stopped working in television. I couldn't imagine myself working so hard to be (if I were so lucky) a part of a successful show; at the end of the day, even the best creation will always be an opiate of the people to me.

Whether it is the thoughts, theories, or products of others, like most of us Americans, I have been trained to consume and have reveled in it for too long. (My family is Romanian and I can definitely see the difference in some of our shopping and lifestyle habits). And I want to use my time, energy, effort, voice and dollars to only support who and what I believe in, and what will support and sustain me. It’s not just money that I have to be concerned with, it’s time and energy - which frankly, are more precious, and affect me, my psyche and actions, and therefore my life, tremendously.

What I choose to consume has to have the purpose either to benefit, uplift or inspire me, too. Because I am also dying to create and share I have to be mindful to not overconsume to numb myself out and satiate the fire inside me to make stuff. While part of me wants America to take a few cues from the Nordic market economy model or conversely maybe give Libertarianism a real shot, American capitalism can obviously work for others, albeit a select handful. So I have to believe I am also worthy of a piece of that pie, and there has to be a market for what I have to offer.

For example, I find myself obsessing about the Roy Moore story. I need to constantly remind myself that paying too much attention to him and Leigh Corfman, with whom I identify with strongly who was brave enough to shed light on how he molested her by grooming and taking advantage of her, at some point puts me in the observer and consumer mode. If I’m not careful, the contact high I get from her beautiful inspired acts can placate me enough to detract from what I can do for myself, too. It is definitely easier to watch her do it than to put myself out on a limb in the public eye, even though I passionately want to get out there myself.

As a woman who was at many points throughout my childhood, adolescence, and even adulthood silenced through intimidation and abuse, I must heed the call to speak up and let it surpass my urge to stay comfortable and quiet because I think it will keep me “safe.” I must constantly fight the further ingrained notion that others (especially men) know better than me. That I’m not worthy of listening to. Or that I don’t know quite enough yet to open my mouth. This has plagued me for years - despite getting an English degree from America’s top public university, making it through the ringer to become a licensed attorney in one of the most difficult states to pass the bar, ranking obscenely high in verbal ability on an IQ test, doing well at public speaking in some of my jobs, and even breaking into difficult industries and making multiple career changes.

External achievements are no match against a deeply long-held belief that I am only here to serve others, and my life, safety, comfort, and opinions don’t matter. It would follow and haunt me in every job or relationship I had. I truly believe it started with experiencing many “adverse childhood experiences,” specifically being sexually abused by someone in my family who was supposed to take care of me instead of use and abuse me. This, of course, set me up for many years of unconsciously repeating that dynamic in a lot of my other relationships and further cementing this completely false belief as a “truth” for me. I know this is why it is important for me to speak now. It is the antidote to all my internalized shame, hatred and anger. That was someone else’s bullshit, dysfunction and pain put upon me, and I don’t want it anymore. And if anything I say can help someone else stop putting up with it, too, it will all be worth it.

I know I am not fully ready to say or act upon all that I have weighing on my heart and mind yet. Because I am insanely jealous of the output of others who are, I know I will do it, too. I have to make small steps that work for me, be patient, and hold onto my knowing I will get there when it is my time. As Julia Cameron said in the Artist Way, jealousy is a roadmap; to paraphrase in my terms, its purpose is to tell you where you want to go, what you want to do, and who you want to be by making you so fucking mad when you see someone else is doing it and you are not. It’s that simple.

I know why I am a bit hesitant to say what I truly feel, talk about my own experiences, and make myself vulnerable to judgment. It is way easier to read something someone else did and share it with a quick comment on social media as opposed to say and create something from my own heart. There is less of my skin in the game. And the game of speaking out about feminism and sexual abuse and assault? I already know what the rules are. When women publicly speak out about anything related to women’s rights, people (almost all of them men) systematically call them fat and ugly and threaten to rape and kill them. They try to silence them by attacking their womanhood: their looks (what society has deemed a woman’s hottest commodity), their sense of emotional and personal safety (through means of violating the anatomical vulnerability of their genitals in comparison to men’s), their actual lives (murder, duh), and if that isn’t enough, their straight up worthiness of being alive (by making them feel unattractive, unsafe, unloved, unwanted, unintelligent, unworthy and ultimately emotionally annihilated). For a woman not up to withstanding that attack, the threatening perpetrator doesn’t have to actually follow through on his threat; his words and fear they create are enough. Men systemically perpetrating violence against women is alive and well in our culture and we all know it.

Wielding the power to drum up fear of personal attack or violence is the main tool used to control women and it can be incredibly effective against one who has already experienced such awful acts. And words can be just as powerful as actions in affecting someone’s sense of safety. These trolls know that. That’s exactly what Trump did to Rosie O’Donnell when he called her awful names and whatever else he has done to other women who ruffle his delicate feathers. A woman who has experienced that attack and/or violence firsthand has to be able to do a lot of work to come to the other side of it to feel free walking down the street safely, and even more so to be brave enough to talk about such controversial subjects in the public eye. So since I already know what the rules of the game are, I am in the process of deciding how I and when I want to play it, what I need to strengthen, and equipment I need to bring with me to make sure I come out of it victorious and intact.

#metoo #stopsexualviolence #feminist #feminism #hollywood #politics #womensrights #womensrevolution #rapeculture #boysclub

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yaldabaoth413 · 7 years

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Of Plato and Louis C. K.

Sometimes I think about how hard it is for us human beings to understand ourselves. How it takes a lot of thought, reasoning and logic to reach conclusions that seem obvious, but are really deeply important in many different ways. Especially in relation to who we are as individuals and our interactions with one another. I, like almost everyone else in the world at one point or another, have made mistakes or hurt people because of misconceptions, laziness, ignorance or a desire to make myself feel more important/intelligent/worthy than those around me. I like to compare this behavior to that of the protagonist of Plato's allegory for reality and and the cave of shadows. When the man finds that his understanding of the world is nothing but a mere shadow of the actual universe outside his cave, his first instinct is to tell the others that their world is a lie. This of course causes him to get an ass beating and be called a liar. Even though it's not a fable, when people read it, their first instinct is to sympathize with the man who found a way out. One who, by chance or perhaps privilege, could reach an understanding that the others do not possess. The reader is lead to think less of the prisoners on the cell and think highly of the free man. (btw this is a metaphor for internet activism on social media) And maybe this just sounds like I'm saying you should be more empathetic towards the people that don't agree with you on seemingly logical topics like gay marriage, feminism or being pro-choice, but here is where I want to bring up one of the jokes that Louis C. K. used in his Netflix special "2017": "Either you think that abortion is like [using the toilet], or you think they're KILLING BABIES. " And he has a point (a very crudely-put one but still). When you have all the information and scientific data on your side is very easy to consider the other side of the argument as irrational, and on the other side if you think you're arguing with a baby murderer, a silly milennnial or an evil heathen, anyone would consider them and everything they say untrustworthy from the get-go. This isn't to say that pro-lifers, anti-vaxxers, Republicans, neo-nazis, meninists, tr*mp supporters, TERFs, etc, etc, deserve to have their voices heard or to act on their mistaken worldview. And there are definitely an alarming number of individuals in those groups that deliberately seek to cause harm to others through it that we absolutely need to fight against. But what I'm getting at is that when you start an argument, both parts are going to assume they're the Ones Who Are Right™️ and, even though most of the time is obvious who is right and who isn't from a logical standpoint, this doesn't help good people win. To convince someone who is already antagonizing you that you're right means that you have to make them admit being wrong and DECLARE themselves as the "loser" of the argument. (this is part of the reason why I think men tend to act like every conversation is a debate where they're both speaker and moderator; much harder to "lose" that way) To go back to the early examples, imagine you give the men in the cave a pair of bolt cutters and tell them 'if you go outside and I'm telling the truth, y'all owe me 20 bucks'. I'm pretty sure they'd rather not risk being wrong, even if it means giving up the chance to see the beauty of the real world. If (hypothetically) you had been protesting against what you believe to be a state-funded, baby-killing, evil organization for YEARS, only to one day realize that all you were doing was scaring young women and keeping them from having access to health care, wouldn't you feel ashamed of yourself? It takes a remarkable amount of courage and introspection to challenge your own preconceptions and perspectives and perhaps even more so to correct them once you've realized that you were wrong and, much like your mom telling you to do that thing you were j u s t ¬ ¬ about to do, it's made a little harder if it would mean that you're admitting it not only to yourself, but to the person you're having the argument with in the first place. To wrap this up, I want you to keep in mind that this isn't me saying you should always be kind and nice to people who are literally attacking you. It's not your job to make sure Anon McHatemail learns his lesson and becomes an upstanding citizen; if they're being assholes you can just report them, block them or ignore them. But also try to remember that nobody was born an expert on what every community in the world considers a slur, LGBTQ terminology, gender dynamics, reproductive biology or what vaccination is. If a 13-year old blogger makes a post where he uses a trigger joke, explain that it's a real medical term he shouldn't just throw around. If a mutual uses an offensive slur (even if it's not offensive to you), tell them to refrain from using it and tell them quickly why it's harmful. If the creator of a thing you like does something negative, by all means draw their attention to it and ask them to fix it. And most importantly, be prepared to accept your mistakes and take responsibility for them. You're not infallible and striving to become a better person by working on your own shortcomings is always something to be proud of.

#Long post #Text #Feminism #Antivaxxer #Meninist #meninism #Trump #donald trump #Plato #louis ck #Philosophy #Essay #planned parenthood #pro choice #Pro life #milennials #lgbtq

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singereden · 7 years

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Attention Clexa Fandom!

Dear all of Clexa fandom,

I nearby have a needs to implore you for your help.

As you know, our two fandoms will soon be coming head to head on the Zimbio poll, which is great because both Clexa and Supercorp deserve to be there and to win (as do all the other ships too).

However, as the stupid fates would have it, there can, unfortunately, be only one winner… And I’m kinda trying to gather enough guts to ask you guys to help us win.  I know this will sound silly to you, because I know how much you love Clexa (heck, *I* myself love Clexa too! For being as iconic and game-changing as it has been for *all* of the fandoms and queer people wanting to see themselves positively represented on tv… Plus I do genuinely ship the Clexa babies… though I chose to stop watching the 100 after Lexa’s death), but just before you dismiss this entirely, just hear me out.   

It is important for you too.

Some of you might know about what’s been going on on Supergirl and some of you may not. Basically, to sum up, the Supergirl staff were very wonderful in that they wanted to explore the journey of a beautiful character, Alex Danvers, Supergirl’s sister, as a gay person, to give her a girlfriend and let us watch their journey unfold. Their story started off very strong, even if recently they have been getting less screen-time. More than that, Supergirl as a show in general has been a very positive game-changer too, especially in season 1, where the message of being strong, independent, self-reliant and ambitious, especially as a woman, was proven to be central to the drive of the main character and the narrative. Since the beginning of the second half of season 2, however, this message was slowly but surely beginning to turn more and more warped. I actually don’t know what the writers are thinking right now but basically, our heroic, exemplary Supergirl, Kara Danvers, has become reduced to someone who not only tolerates someone (her boyfriend) that insults her, puts her down, ignores her boundaries and requests, and defies her repeatedly, but to someone who would actually date a person like that. I think we can all agree that this is a wrong and very damaging message to send to the viewers, many who are teenagers, and many who are little girls and boys, and impressionable to such a message. And now, on top of all that, after Kara got fired from her job, which she explicitly said she loved and which we have seen her work SO damn hard for, she concedes that maybe being a superhero and having her (emotionally abusive?) boyfriend will be enough. It’s come to a point where I no longer recognise my favourite character and my favourite tv show.

The thing is, I can easily stop watching (ok, maybe not easily, it’ll be a fricken addiction to break!) but I know that other viewers, especially all the younger, more vulnerable ones, will probably just keep going. And the reason I know that is because at their age, without question, I would be one of them. As a teen and a young adult, I would literally swallow the sickly-sweet trope of a flawed, broken person needing love from a forgiving girl in order to change and become a better person. I subconsciously soaked this message in and then applied it to my own life as I got older, with, unfortunately but not surprisingly, dire repercussions, from which, I have to admit, I’m still recovering. I’m sure that many of you will be able to relate to this. And I’m sure that many of you will know just how wrong and harmful this message is. Especially coming from a show that has built its entire fan-base by portraying a strong, positive role-model for girls and women.

The one good thing that has come out of all of this is another character on Supergirl: Lena Luthor. From the beginning, because of her last name and its connotations, Lena has been portrayed as a possible suspect and villain. The thing is though, she has proven herself time and time again to be better than that, to be a force for good, to be a firm ally to both Kara and Supergirl, and has even taken it upon herself to rebrand her brother’s company and turn it into something positive to make up for all the damage that Lex Luthor had done in the past. She had even gone directly against her own mother when the woman had turned out to be deranged and aligned with Lex’s ideals. Therefore, on the show, Lena Luthor has been portrayed as a prime example of what an independent, ambitious, strong woman is. But what was even more wonderful (and surprising) to watch was the incredible positive dynamic that has developed between Lena and our very own Kara Danvers/Supergirl.

I can honestly say that this dynamic was the greatest surprise to come out of Supergirl season 2, because while some expected Alex to come out as gay, nobody foresaw a Luthor and a Super working together like this. And WOW do they work well together! I mean… Just on every level! On a professional level, the two women are so respectful and supportive of one another. On a personal level, they are so sweet and wonderful to each other. The respect between the two of them is every bit as worthy of Clarke and Lexa’s, because they too, are women powerful in their own right, working together for the benefit of all. And I think if you guys had seen them (and I’m sure most of you have anyway :p), you’d be proud of them and you’d want to see more of them just being awesome together. The only difference between Clexa and Supercorp is that one is a canonical ship and the other is not. Yet. If ever. And the thing is, they so easily could be because their chemistry is off . the . charts . I mean… I could go on for ages here but to spare you the reading time, just look them up on youtube.

If they got together, the internet would explode. They would literally be Korrasami 2.0, except 3D. And they would rule so hard, and it would be the most beautiful thing ever! (Besides Clexa, ofc.)

Unfortunately, because the writers have already presented Supergirl’s sister as gay, the chances of Supercorp actually turning canon dropped significantly. I mean, how many mainstream shows do you know of where there is more than one gay couple included?

Exactly.

But the sad thing is, it actually could work so well. Not only would it be the most organic thing for the characters, where they’d get an outlet for all of that chemistry, but it would take Supergirl to an ICONIC level. More so, it would rescue it from that hole it seems to be heading for with the current storyline, specifically that of the questionable relationship with the questionable boyfriend. (I just want to clarify, I have no problem whatsoever with Supergirl being in a heterosexual relationship. However I *do* have a problem with her being in any kind of relationship with any person who is, frankly, bad for her.)

To sum up and bring all this to the final point: the chances of Supercorp becoming canon are small. The producers and writers so far have not been very acknowledging, let alone supportive, of our fandom or our ship. There’s even been mention of an actor/actress having rolled their eyes when asked whether they ship Supercorp, as if the thought of two women with an amazing dynamic being more than friends is a ridiculous concept. (I do have to say, this in particular really broke my heart, because with all the Sanvers-ness they’ve included in the show, and all the overwhelming feedback they’ve received from the fans and how much it has meant to people, how much it has positively affected everyone, it’s like they’ve actually missed the entire point.)  Other than that (the rolling of the eyes), no one on the production team has made any comment on Supercorp whatsoever, even though this ship is literally one of the best drives they have going for their show right now.

If Supercorp were to win the Zimbio polls, the actresses would be approached for an interview. If Supercorp were to win the Zimbio polls and the actresses approached for an interview, the writers and producers would most likely hear about it. If this positive, beautiful dynamic between these two strong, powerful women were to win, the production team might begin to take Supercorp a little more seriously, where they might acknowledge it in some way or they might just think twice about ruining the story and Lena’s character by turning her evil, while they elevate the questionable boyfriend to the level of hero.

But more than anything, if the production team were to notice just how beloved Supercorp is, they would realise that positive representation doesn’t stop with Sanvers. That representation of diversity in real life doesn’t end with one, secondary character, gay couple, that we need more, and that when we see palpable chemistry in a positive relationship, who happens to be of the same sex, compared to that of a questionable relationship of a heterosexual couple, we deserve more. Gay or straight. Though to be honest, if Lena Luthor were a man, pretty much all Supergirl fans would have married them off by now because, as I said, their chemistry, and the positivity of their relationship, is unmissable and inspiring.

It’s more than just a ship at stake here, it’s a call for action for positive representation, which I’m sure, you all are for anyway. Clexa won the Zimbio poll last year, and rightfully so. They fully deserve to win this year too, but I don’t think much will change if they did win. Not for you, and not for me. If Supercorp won, we would be one small step towards changing the game once again, in always striving for more… More positive representation, more equality, more fairness. This is exactly what Clexa stood for and still stands for and that is why I think you will understand the importance of this.

So please, I am asking you: Help us get Supercorp to the top. It will be a victory for all of us. And let’s see whether we can begin to change the game for the better once again. If you agree, please vote, share this and help spread the word.

Zimbio poll is here:

http://www.zimbio.com/brackets/TV+Couples+March+Madness+2017

#supercorp #clexa #clexakru #lexa #clarke griffin #lexa x clarke #clarke x lexa #heda lexa #heda #long live heda #wanheda #lena luthor #kara x lena #lena x supergirl #karlena

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