title: check yes, juliet
Summary:
It doesn't matter that Juliet is a freshly-minted, top-of-her-class field agent (alright, so she hasn't actually been in the field yet) or one of the few women working for the Federal Bureau of Investigation's cutting edge check fraud department (just last week, their 20-year-old coffee maker broke and they ran out of number two pencils to mark up their overhead projector notes with): every time her mother calls, all she does is lament that her beautiful, intelligent daughter isn't meeting any eligible bachelors.
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Maryanne sighs eventually. “All O’Hara women fall for liars, Julie. It’s our curse.”
Juliet has to wonder if she didn't scoff at her mother's claim a little bit too soon.
my brother & i had the earth shattering realization a month ago that the plot of "catch me if you can" (2002) is almost to a tee just a mildly alternate psych timeline and that thought has lived in my head rent free to such an insane degree that eventually 14 thousand words poured out of me in au fic form. im posting it so as many other people as possible can see the vision. and also because im sure theres one person other than me who revels in early seasons shawnjuliet's frankly insane levels of chemistry, lol. enjoy!
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Excerpt:
“Your average bounced check would be routed to the bank it originates from, so you’d only really have a few days in one place before you were discovered. This guy’s been filing off the routing numbers, changing ‘em somehow – so cleanly and neatly that it’ll take a real sharp eye to notice. It’s all about the branch you’re cashing it in. A check cashed in at Chase Manhattan with the one changed to ten’s gonna bounce halfway around the country before anyone figures out it’s rotten, and by that point this asshole is long gone. The numbers go East, Central, West – you see how they cover 0-60, 70-80, and of course they require a special kind of ink to be recognized as real checks, which you’d all know if you’d read the report I circulated …”
Juliet doesn’t notice the full cup of orange juice in front of her until it’s too late.
Her head’s still full of Carlton’s two hour long briefing this morning, during which she learned more about check fraud than she’d have ever thought a single person could in one lifespan. Certainly not Juliet, who’d originally studied literature at Florida State. Then again, back then she’d have never expected to end up an FBI agent, either.
Then there’s the wired, tense feeling in her gut that probably won’t go away ‘til this sting is over and they bring in the pathetic local guy Carlton’s been tracking for the last week. His MO is pretty girls in pastel dresses, which made Juliet the right man – woman – for the job. At least maybe doing this’ll help the guys in the office take her seriously as a field agent. And, well … she does love a nice peachy pink cardigan. The color goes well with her complexion.
“This idiot’s no real con man, he’s just a clown who can’t be bothered to work an honest job. Child’s play compared to the real thing. ” Carlton tends to pause here, angry that he’s got to acknowledge it like that – the real thin g. “ You know what they’ve been calling him in the papers these days?”
Him . Always him. They don’t have a name on the subject yet, despite over a million cashed in fraudulent checks. Juliet hums and nods so her partner feels acknowledged.
“ The skywayman . Pathetic. Like he’s some magician or something, instead of a two-bit liar who thinks he’s smarter than me. ”
“This isn’t personal, Carlton ,” Juliet says tiredly. “ It’s not like he knows who you are to be deliberately toying with you.”
“Oh yes he is. I know he is. I know him .”
Her hands aren’t quite shaking, because that would be stupid; this guy, their local guy, shouldn’t have a gun on him, and if he does he’s not the type to shoot a woman. Juliet focuses on the paper in front of her and tucks a lock of her hair behind one ear. A window of ten minutes – that’s what Carlton said. Unlike Carlton’s unsub nemesis, they know plenty about this one. He’ll come in, dressed like the middle-aged schlub he is, loose tie probably, gray slacks, thinning hair. He’ll notice her, buy her a soda she’ll accept with a faulty check and then pick her pocket for the cash. The string of pearls at her neck makes her a sweet college girl whose parents have money. She mentally forces herself to stop chewing her lip and instead moves her right hand down to her lap, where she can pick at her nail polish without anyone seeing.
“Well, obviously we wanna catch him,” Agent Dobson says, when they’re a third of the way through the morning briefing and half the room is asleep or dreaming of lunch. Juliet, of course, has been furiously taking notes. He means the Skywayman; he means the real thing. “But you gotta admit, Lassiter, there is a bit of a magic show to a good con, isn’t there? The press has that one thing right.”
“It’s not magic. It’s lies and deceit and a healthy helping of audacity, and a damn good typewriter. O’Hara, write that down. We’re gonna go through that list of makes and models again, see what we can come up with.”
Deep breath. Her purse, orange to match the cardigan, is in her lap. The gun’s in the purse. She’ll draw it, but not to shoot. This is the kind of work she’s begged the Chief for, and she’ll be just fine.
Maybe Juliet would feel less desperate to prove herself if this diner wasn’t in Miami, and her father didn’t gift her the only string of pearls she owns.
A voice clears itself quietly above her.
“Uh, excuse me? Hi, yeah, hi. That’s my seat.”
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Thursday, November 3 — The Gift that Keeps on Giving: Make a list of 10 items your character has received as a gift and describe what the item means to them (if at all).
TRANSCRIPT: Hey friends! I got a bunch of books for Christmas (and some other stuff, and, uh, some gift cards, which I used to buy books of course!) So I thought I’d do a little haul and show you everything I got!!!
Okay, so first, I got a gift card! Which was really nice of my dad because he doesn’t really know what I like to read, which is, like, fair. I mean, it’s not like he’s gonna read this kind of stuff. He works in politics and he is super busy all the time, and honestly I’m sure he doesn’t have that much time to go shopping for stuff in general, so it’s kind of a win win! And I got myself a bunch of books to take to uni with me, Elinor Oliphant and One Day in December and The Switch by Beth O’Leary... they are probably only gonna last me, like, two weeks, but it’ll be a piece of home!
He also got me a bunch of stationery and stuff, which was super nice too, because we all know I need to get more organized. Like, I’m gonna be going to uni! Real, in-person uni! I gotta get my act together with studying! So I really appreciated this. Look how cute they are! We got a set of blue and black pens, and they’re yellow, which is a color I love, and a matching yellow planner, and all these cute little sticky notes that I can use for remembering things!
And then, okay, this isn’t a book or anything, but I just wanted to show you all this cardigan that my mom made me! It’s so pretty, look at all the little snowflake details around the collar, and it’s such a pretty color of dark blue. It’s a little big on me, but I think it will be really cozy and perfect for late nights in the library. Ahh! I’m gonna get to go to the library whenever I want! Sorry, I’m just so excited!!!
Okay, back to books! Gerta got me this uni cookbook, which I think is going to be a lifesaver because, as we know, I’m a horrible chef. But how bad can you mess up a microwave meal, right? I don’t think our dorms— ahhh, I’m going to have a dorm! Sorry— I don’t think our dorms have individual kitchens, but I think we have a communal kitchen we all share. But I think we’re allowed to have microwaves. So I’m excited to try some of these!
Gerta also got me this cute little waffle maker! Which is sooo great because I’m gonna miss Norwegian waffles so much when I’m in England. It was really thoughtful of her. Let’s just hope I don’t burn the dorm down!
And then I got this really sweet package from my sister! I don’t get to see her that much, or, like, really at all, actually, because she lives in England, but she always sends me these really cute packages for Christmas and for my birthday. Anyway, she got me allll these books on my TBR which was so sweet of her, like you can tell she just went right on my blog and got the ones I wanted! I miss her a lot but, uh, I know she’s... busy and stuff. Anyway, this was really sweet of her.
She also sent me this gorgeous bookmark! It has my initials engraved in it, see, and it’s a really pretty fake leather material, and it has sunflowers on it! My favorite kind of flower. I don’t know how she knew that. But it’s not, like a secret, so... [shrug]
Okay, next up, my cousins! I don’t get to see them a lot either, but they know I like to read, so they got me this gorgeous edition of Little Women! That’s one of my favorite books, and oh my god, just look at how pretty the typeface is, and the binding, and the illustrations... ahhh, I just really nerd out about this stuff.
And this is the fun part, I got some books in my BookTube Secret Santa! So this is from Maisy, all the way from the United States, and it’s the new Good Witch Azura book, which I have been trying to get my hands on forever. And Maisy knows that because I have been DMing her nonstop about my predictions and now I finally have it! And now I can’t go on Twitter for, like, two weeks because I can NOT be spoiled. Nobody post spoilers!
Finally, I also bought myself a little present, because you should always treat yourself, so this is a little book club-scented candle, because I love my online book club, and I like to think this is what an in-person book club would smell like! It smells sooo good, guys, like nutmeg and cinnamon and stuff. Very dark academia. So, uh, yeah! That’s my little gift to myself.
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Rehearsal
Rehearsal
Charlie Barber x Reader
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: NSFW. Smut. Exhibitionism. Semi-Public Smut. Getting Caught. Humor. Thanksgiving Gone Wrong.
AO3 Link
Author’s Note: This is from last year, but I’m re-uploading it because I got some messages that the link wasn’t working. This is a fun collaboration in a series I did with @sydwritess as a part of her Charlie’s Series of Unfortunate Events.
Thanksgiving was a stressful holiday for you now that you were the new Mrs. Barber. Charlie’s mother had never been your biggest fan from the outset and things had only deteriorated from there. Not to mention that she thought you were some kind of siren or succubus who had lured her innocent son out into the waters of lustful abandon.
This Thanksgiving found you both crammed into the Barber family lake house with most of Charlie’s family. His siblings, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, and, of course, his parents.
Most of Charlie’s nieces and nephews were young children, in a similar age bracket to Henry. But his oldest nephew was Chad, who had been a surprise for Charlie’s sister while she was still in high school. True to form, Chad had always been the turd in the punchbowl of the family. He was now nineteen and was visiting his grandparents for Thanksgiving, with two of his horndog college buddies in tow. The three of them had enjoyed an inordinate amount of heckling Charlie about his ‘hot new wife’ and of course teasing you about marrying ‘old man Uncle Charlie.’
Thanksgiving morning found you amidst the three hapless morons, held hostage by the slowness of the coffee maker as you waited for your cup to brew. They were friendly enough, well meaning in their idiocy, but this certainly was not the way you wanted to spend your holiday; in a crowded house that was tantamount to a dorm. Or a nunnery. You hadn’t even been able to enjoy Charlie’s marvelous cock since arriving because Henry was rooming with you both. The tension was getting to you.
“So, seriously, Y/N,” one buddy who’s name you didn’t remember began. “How did Charlie land a hottie like you?”
“What makes you think I didn’t land him?” You tease back.
This earned a dopey laugh from Chad and his friends.
“Come on, Y/N,” Chad was at least considerate enough to get the milk out of the fridge for you. “What is it? You’re like really hot and cool. And my Uncle’s just like, you know, not.”
As Chad closed the door to the refrigerator, it revealed Charlie standing behind it. He leveled a healthy smack to the back of Chad’s head, causing his nephew to duck from the impact and laugh louder.
“Shocking though it may be to you Mensa candidates, women want more from a man than being dragged to frat parties to play beer pong or Call of Duty,” Charlie chastised them teasingly.
Charlie moved to you, bending to kiss you briefly before pulling you in front of him and wrapping his arms around you from behind.
With just you and the college boys, Charlie could be more outwardly affectionate to you. Pressing his chest against your back, he laved lingering kisses along your neck. You could feel his half hard cock digging into your back as he pushed his hips against you.
“What? Women want to go shopping for cardigans and khakis and shit?” Chad asked, rolling his eyes at the sight of Charlie kissing you.
“As long as the dressing rooms are large and mirrored,” you answered, smirking at Chad.
Charlie huffed a laugh against your neck.
You were just thinking of asking Charlie to join you in a shower when Henry and some of the other children ran into the room, spoiling your thoughts of a proper ‘good morning.’
“Dad, that’s so gross,” Henry exclaimed at the sight of Charlie’s affection toward you.
“Right, little dude?” Chad agreed. His friends all laughed along.
“I can’t help it,” Charlie still held you, tracing your neck with his large nose. “My wife’s just too beautiful.”
Charlie did pull away, however, when his mother entered the kitchen. You couldn’t really blame him, based on your track record.
“They we’re doing it again, grandma,” Henry instantly betrayed you both. “Kissing and being gross.”
His mother shot both of you a venomous glare. “We are not going to have any distasteful behavior on Thanksgiving,” she commanded.
She was more edgy than usual, which you have not previously believed impossible. Although, she did have a lot on her shoulders, hosting such a large Thanksgiving dinner.
“What kind of ‘distasteful behavior,’ grandma?” Chad asked innocently, knowing full well what she meant. Yours and Charlie’s escapades had become the favorite family gossip.
“Shhh,” she hissed at Chad.
“Oh,” Chad feigned understanding. “You mean code Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo?”
Charlie’s mother looked as confused as Henry and the other children. You laughed, and Charlie’s grip on you tightened.
“Better watch it, Chad,” Charlie growled.
“What? Do you need help buttering the biscuits today?” Chad continued. “Has to be lots of that before dinner, right.”
Charlie stepped from behind you, approaching Chad and his friends, glaring intensely.
“It’s cool, uncle,” Chad laughed. “I know you’re the reigning champ at playing hide the salami in public”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Charlie growled as he grabbed Chad’s upper arm, turning him roughly and shoving him out of the room.
Before Charlie stepped back into the kitchen, his mother took the opportunity to squint her eyes at you.
“Do you see what you’ve done?” She said spitefully.
“I’m just happy my biscuit is well buttered,” you shrugged as you sipped your coffee. You were over trying to appease his mother.
Charlie didn’t understand the intensity of his mother’s glare toward you when he returned.
“Grandma are you making biscuits?” Henry intoned hopefully.
******************************************************************************
After putting yourself together and donning a nice sweater dress, you sat with Charlie on the large sofa in the living room with most of the family. It was now early afternoon. The big game played on the TV. A few people watched it attentively while others carried on conversations.
You weren’t paying attention to them. You were only focused on Charlie’s huge hand that rested on your upper thigh, squeezing you often.
During a lull in the conversation, Charlie took the opportunity to lean in to kiss your cheek. Before he pulled away, his lips lingered against your skin to whisper, “My wife looks so fucking sexy today.”
Your thighs pressed more tightly together just from his words and the feel of his lips and hand on you.
Minutes passed while Charlie talked to his family before another lag in conversation presented itself that allowed you to bring your lips close to Charlie’s ear.
“I’m worried I won’t be able to eat anything at all later if I don’t work up an appetite before then,” you purred against his ear.
“Don’t tease me, kitten,” Charlie warned with a sideways smile. “I know how insatiable you are.”
Charlie’s hand tightened on your thigh before starting to drift higher. His hand rose as high as he reasonably could without brushing against your pussy, your dress already pushed up too far for the setting.
Most people didn’t notice or chose not to. Except for one of Chad’s idiot friends, who eyed you like a hawk and elbowed Chad to get his attention too.
You hardly cared about them. It was actually kind of fun, thrilling even, to tease the little bastards right there. Showing them what they could never have.
Moving closer, you pressed yourself as close to Charlie as you could. Your breasts were pressed against his thick arm that crossed the front of your body down to where his hand gripped your thigh. Resting your chin on his shoulder from the side gave you just the right angle to whisper filth in his ear and simultaneously watch the college boys from the side of your vision.
“Wouldn’t you like to push your fingers into my pussy right now, Charlie?” You whispered. “Get me all wet and stretched out for your big cock?”
You felt Charlie’s muscles tense at your words, his jaw clenching.
“I’m going to split your sweet little pussy wide open with my cock for this, gorgeous,” Charlie whispered as he turned to kiss you chastely on the nose so as not to alert the group to the nature of his words. “And I’m not going to be nice and sweet about it. I’m going to fuck you so hard that I’ll have to carry you down for dinner.”
“Are you?” You smirked at him. “Do you think you can fuck me that good, Uncle Charlie?”
“I think that Uncle Charlie is going to fuck you until you’re screaming my name correctly,” Charlie purred as he kissed your cheek.
Charlie wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his lap. Nothing more than a playful gesture to everyone looking. Once in his lap, you could feel his dual purpose was to conceal his hardening cock, that now rested beneath your ass.
Bringing his lips to your neck, he smiled warmly, kissing you sweetly. Everyone would have assumed he was doing nothing more than sharing a joke or a compliment with you.
“You feel what you do to me, beautiful?” Charlie whispered. “Feel what my fat cock wants to do to you?”
“I don’t know,” you purred as you brought your hand up to stroke under Charlie’s chin. “It’s been so long, I know if I remember what your fat cock can do to me.”
You rubbed your ass against him subtly, earning a huff and an involuntary buck of Charlie’s hips against you.
No one else seemed to notice. No one except the frat boys across from you. They watched you both as they whispered and snickered between each other.
Charlie’s hand on your thigh tightened and his hand at your waist pulled you closer to him.
“What do you want, Y/N?” Charlie’s voice rumbled low. “Should I make you sit on my cock and go for a ride? Put on a nice halftime show?”
“That depends,” you whisper back. “Do you want to see my tits bouncing as I ride your cock? You want to fill me up with so much cum that you feel it running back down into your lap?”
“Fuck, Y/N,” Charlie almost groaned, burying his face on your neck.
“Everything okay over there, Uncle Charlie?” Chad asked with mocking concern. “You look awfully red and sweaty.”
You had to hide the small smile that came across your face at their comment. Yes, you were Charlie’s wife and you’d always stand up for him...but damn, it was fun to watch him get teased by a bunch of college kids.
To add to their mockery, you turned around and wore a concerned look, running your hand through his hair. “Yeah, you alright, handsome?”
His jaw clenched as he glared playfully at you before shifting his eyes to the three boys on the couch across from them.
“I’m doing just fine, but thanks for your concern, Chad.” Charlie smiled at him mockingly.
Chad chuckled. “I’m sure you are, especially with your hot wife sitting on your lap.”
Another friend added in, “Man, I bet Charlie hasn’t even hidden any salami since before they got here.”
“Old man Charlie must be in bad shape.” The other friend chimed in, making them all laugh.
Around you, everyone else was too engrossed in the game to pay attention to any of you. Sarcasm was rampant in the Barber family and people rarely perked their ears enough to listen to specific digs.
Charlie looked at the boys with a devilish smirk, ensuring his voice was just loud enough to carry to them when he said against your jaw, “It’s been too long and I’ve forgotten where I hid that salami. I better check the last place I saw it.”
You smacked his chest playfully, laughing at him.
“Come help me look for it, gorgeous,” Charlie kept ensuring his voice carried to the boys. “I’m going to take a quick shower. I bet we can find it in there.”
The snickering had mostly died down, replaced by dumbfounded expressions.
“Give me five minutes and join me,” Charlie whispered before pushing you off of his lap and standing.
You watched as he as he headed down the hallway to the shared bathroom.
After five minutes had passed, you rose from the couch yourself, smoothing your dress. “Excuse me, I should fix my hair before dinner,” you stated as you looked at everyone smiling.
Chad raised his eyebrows and nudged his friends before saying, “Have a nice shower, Mrs. Barber.”
You nodded. You were much better at this little game than these amateurs.
“Thanks, Chad. It’s going to be very, very steamy,” you told him with a wicked smirk.
All of their mouths dropped wide open.
You flashed them a quick wink before walking briskly, eager to get out of the living room and towards the bathroom to find Charlie.
On your way down the hallway, Charlie appeared in the doorway to the bathroom, grabbing your arm. But instead of pulling you inside, his hand slid down to grip yours as he dragged you away from the bathroom down the hallway.
“I have the water running as a decoy,” he explained with a grin as he trotted down the hallway, leading you along. “We probably have thirty minutes before anyone comes looking,” he spoke quietly over his shoulder.
Charlie was careful to keep his heavy footfalls quiet and to avoid being seen by anyone as he sneaked with you toward the back door. The last thing you needed was his parents or Henry catching you. That would end your stolen alone time together before it began.
Once outside, Charlie dragged you along beside him as he covered the lawn in long strides toward the enclosed gazebo that contained a hottub.
Taking a quick look around as he held the door open for you, Charlie ushered you inside before ducking in after you.
The small gazebo was lined with benches and a shelf for towels. Its centerpiece was a large hottub. Inside it was significantly warmer, the windows looking out were completely steamed over.
He was on you instantly, spinning you around to face him and attacking your lips. He aggressively kissed you, licking into your mouth as his hands gripped at your body, grasping at your waist, hips, and ass.
Reaching to his expansive chest, you worked to undo his buttons as he advanced on you, backing you toward the hottub.
Charlie’s mouth moved to your neck as he bent to grab behind your thighs, lifting you up to sit on the hottub cover.
Your legs wrapped around Charlie’s waist as he moved to stand between them. He sucked a mark into your neck while he shoved your dress up around your hips. Running your hands down the bare skin of Charlie’s gorgeous chest, you spread his shirt open fully as your hands trailed down to undo his belt.
A low groan sounded through the small room when you freed Charlie’s cock, already hard and throbbing, when you gripped your hand as far as you could around his impressive girth. You pumped his cock as he pulled your panties off, shoving them into his pocket.
“You have no idea how much I’ve been craving your sweet little pussy,” Charlie growled as he ran the head of his cock through your folds. “I’ve missed her.”
Your hands flew to Charlie’s shoulders, nails digging into him as he thrust his cock into you fully.
“Fuck, you always feel so good, beautiful,” he praised as he began pumping into you. “Always so wet. Always hugging my cock so fucking tight.”
“Fuck me hard, Charlie,” you punctuated your words by raking your nails along his shoulders. “Make me cum. I need it so bad.”
“At your service, lovely,” Charlie grinned at you as he picked up his pace, slamming his cock roughly into you.
Your arms moved to wrap around his neck and your legs squeezed his waist, holding him close as each powerful thrust threatened to shove you back away from him.
Fucking into you aggressively, you could almost feel every ridge and vein on Charlie’s enormous cock as he dragged it in and out of you. Each thrust angled just right to hit all your favorite spots. Charlie was huffing now with each thrust, his thick sweaty hair falling around his face.
“Right there, Charlie,” you moaned. “You always fuck me just right.”
“I know how much your pussy loves me,” Charlie panted. “How much you love getting fucked by my big cock.”
Unbeknownst to you, Chad and his two little asshole buddies had sneaked outside to smoke a joint. They wandered around to the back of the house, hiding behind the small building housing the hottub. As they passed the blunt between them, they heard moaning and the slapping of skin on skin coming from inside the hottub room.
The three stoners crept to the door. Quietly pushing it open just enough for the three of them to peek their heads inside, they were met with a perfectly clear profile view of Charlie furiously pounding his cock into you.
Tensing now with every hard thrust, you could feel your pussy wanting to gush around Charlie’s cock. You squeezed your thighs tighter around his waist and fisted your hands into his hair, pulling him roughly against you with every part of your body just as your pussy clenched around his cock.
“Keep fucking me like that!” You almost shouted. “Make me cum on your giant cock!”
“Fuck, yes, gorgeous,” Charlie huffed between his rough thrusts. “Cum all over my fat fucking cock.”
Chad and his idiot friends took that moment to burst fully through the door, cheering and hollering their encouragements like they were cheering on a football team.
Charlie’s hips stuttered as his head and yours jerked sharply to face them.
“Get the fuck out of here, you little pricks!” Charlie shouted, his voice hoarse. His thrusts stopped and he almost lost his erection, despite being on the verge of cumming himself.
He moved to pull out of you, but your legs around his waist stopped him, tightening hard and pulling his hips back against you.
“I’ll kill you if you stop fucking me now before I cum,” you glared at him. “I’m going to cum so hard. I don’t give a fuck who sees.”
“Fuck, Y/N,” Charlie grunted. “If that’s what you fucking want.”
“Get the fuck out of here, you stoned fuck offs,” Charlie snarled toward the door.
Charlie slammed his cock back into you with a growl, his pace even more punishing now that he was fueled by anger.
The stoners watched, transfixed by the show before them and by their drug addled reflexes. The dank haze of their low grade pot wafted into the room. They pumped their fists in time with Charlie’s thrusts into you.
It only took a few more slams of his cock into you before he pounded you into one of the most intense orgasms you had ever experienced. Your pussy seized on his cock in waves that pulsed in time with your pleasure as your orgasm rocked your body. Your thighs quivered and your jaw fell slack, and Charlie’s name as it spilled in a moan from your lips sounded like something straight out of a porno.
The combination of feeling your pussy tense on his cock, the sound of the way you moaned his name, and the sight of what he’d done to you was enough to push Charlie over the edge. He pumped load after load of his thick hot cum into you with a low groan, as you finished cumming yourself.
Charlie didn’t give either of you time to enjoy your afterglows. He pulled his dripping cock from you and hastily shoved himself back into his pants.
The stoned onlookers got a good view of Charlie’s cock as he pulled it from you, letting out a moronic chorus of ‘Dude’s’ and ‘Whoa’s.’
Charlie charged at them menacingly.
Colliding with Chad roughly, Charlie grabbed his collar as he shoved him back out of the door, shoving his two friends outside too by the sheer size of his body. One stoner fell backward onto the ground, laughing like an idiot.
Chad raised his hands as Charlie shoved him.
“Easy, bro! I’m impressed you even know how to use a dick, let alone that you’re packing a fucking horse cock!” Chad gestured to his pants. “I never would have guessed with all your cardigans and shit.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Charlie was almost shouting. “Are you so fucking stoned that you want to get your ass kicked?”
“People were asking where you went anyway,” Chad laughed. “What do you want me to tell them?”
“Tell them we were rehearsing a fucking scene and needed some piracy,” Charlie growled in his deep voice. “Or I’ll tell them what the fuck you little assholes were out here doing.”
Charlie shoved his nephew roughly away, causing him to stumble backward over his friend, who still lay on the ground. They both laughed like imbeciles.
The three of them collected themselves and stumbled away, still laughing and talking about Charlie and his hot wife.
******************************************************************************
Later, after you had both composed yourselves, you both even found yourselves laughing with each other about the day’s events.
You were now seated next to each other at Thanksgiving dinner. An enormous amount of food sat spread across the table, more than even the large crowd of Charlie’s family and friends could consume.
Charlie’s large hand rested on your thigh and he leaned close to you, whispering an occasional seedy remark in your ear.
Both of your attentions were drawn to Chad, who had fixed Charlie with an intense and amused stare. He leaned toward Charlie from his seat across the table, arms crossed in front of him.
“So, Uncle Charlie, tell us about the new play you’re working on,” Chad beamed with a shit eating grin and barely contained laughter. “It’s really gonna be something bad ass if it’s anything like the rehearsal we saw today.”
“I don’t want to dominate the conversation by talking about my productions,” Charlie warned through gritted teeth as he glared murderously at the little bastard.
“No, man, you two were seriously into it. Like method acting,” Chad’s shit eating grin returned. “You put a lot of effort into it. You should tell everyone about it.”
“Theater’s a boring dinner topic, Chad,” Charlie jaw clenched as he glared at his nephew.
“Your plays are never boring, honey,” Charlie’s mother chimed in. “I want to hear about it.”
“Oh, I think everyone would love to hear all about this one,” Chad held his glass up in a cheers. “Let me tell you guys about the ‘rehearsal’ I walked in on today.” He loudly addressed the table.
Charlie shook his head ‘no’ slowly at Chad, his expression violent, but it wasn’t enough to penetrate the haze of marijuana.
Charlie’s expression turned to thinly veiled horror as Chad began reciting his ‘story.’ His eyes met yours as his hand tightened on your thigh. You could see the apology contained in his hazel eyes.
“I’m sure there are worse stories about you than everyone hearing how good you make me feel,” you say quietly to Charlie. Bringing your own glass towards your lips, you motioned it to him in a subtle cheers of your own. “This is our thing, I think.”
“Yeah,” Charlie huffed through a cynical laugh. “This is my life now.”
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Tagging some friends: @babbushka @mrs-gucci @mrs-zimmerman @iamburdened @gabesprincess @maybe-your-left @rynwritesstuff @candycanes19 @caillea @queeniebee @mythrielofsolitude @icarusinthesea @darkhairedmenrule @reyloaddict55 @fizzywoohoo @heartlight-starlight @clydesfavoritegirl @emi11ie @bensolodyad @danidanisara @thepalaceofmelanie
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