#won’t be as many as this post tho lol. had to make up for lost time w these

[crazys-art]

all the thumbnails i did for @mackthecheesy ‘s VOD channel in january :3

[foxgloveinspace]

wow those are really interesting! The smell one almost reminds me of synesthesia, or a olfactory hallucination. For the first one, like a signal in the brain getting tied to a different signal. a floral smell for them sounds so sweet. they feel comforting to me like floral.

the vessel figure is wild. the fact that you saw a hooded figure with his mouth exposed. I know there's kinda archetypal figures people tend to see in various brain things, like dreams, or drug trips, or I'd expect its the same with migraine auras. A general cloaked figure sounds universal enough, but one with a mouth exposed is so specific.

it's SO interesting that you mention ADHD though because almost every single Sleep Token fan I've talked to is neurodivergent or could plausibly be. Specifically autism or ADHD. Could just be that we all hyperfixate, and that makes us superfans of things we love. But idk it feels special, like we're drawn to it. I have ADHD myself.

another commonality is sleep problems, odly enough. and finding Sleep Token calming and helping one sleep.

For my opinion on witchy stuff, I'm not an expert or anything I know little bits. Like how their logo is a combination of Germanic runes that invoke certain things. There was an old since deleted post by then about it, so it's basically confirmed. Or I heard that the runes corresponding to the Sundowning songs could theoretically be invoked every time the song is played.

also the music just feels magical??

Every person seems to have a different interpretation of the lore and the overarching story, if there is any. Many of them seem to be about love or romance in some way.

My pet headcannon/theory is that Vessel is looking for his soulmate who he knew in a past life. and the runes and any magic is for that purpose.

(First Ask)!!!!!!! Yes!!

Ok I agree with like a lot of your points in this ask, just to say that off the bat, but it’s me so I’m gonna get into it lmao:

So the thing is, I Do Actually have synesthesia, But I Do Not Have Smell/Sound, I have texture/Taste!! So that’s the weird thing about it! It is actually pretty comforting?? I’m trying to figure out what scent it actually, cause it’s just really nice. It might be a perfume that I’ve smelled in the past and started associating it with them (in which cause I think it might be floral marshmallow which is a dupe for some high end perfume). But like I said if it’s ends up being forget-me-nots (which I don’t think so) I’m gonna freak out. But they have a very light scent and I can’t find them anywhere😵‍💫

That’s the weird thing about all of it tho, is that it very well could be all of the things that I have already (migraines, adhd, synesthesia) but it’s like it’s different symptoms that I’ve Never had before??

Like the hooded figure wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but I never see figures!! I only see green and purple flashing splotches, even in my Worst Migraine I’ve Ever had, where I completely Lost My Vision, I only say neon purple and green. So too see, specifically, Hooded Man With Mouth, while listening to The Summoning?? Weird.

And yeah, I have adhd, and honestly?? Yeah. I think it is all of us nero-spicy gals and bois finding a band that itches the static in our brains, lol. They really combine a lot of nerodivergent peoples favorite genres, metal, dark techno/house, lo-fi, piano, rap and sometimes even something that sounds jazzy. It’s legit like they took every music thing I love and shoved it into one, of course my/all of our adhd brains is gonna eat that shit up lmao. It feels really special tho.

Also, yeah I have hella sleeping issues, but I have yet to let myself listen to them while going to sleep (mostly cause I know once I start I won’t be able to go back) BUT!! I have never been a person who can meditate, and I was able to while listening to them!! So that’s a thing lol.

I’m not a big expert on ruins either, but I know most witchcraft is putting your intentions in something. So if he put heavy intentions into the ruins when he first drew them, then yeah it’s doing something. I did vaguely know something about the main logo/ruin, but not much. (I actually don’t know What it’s supposed to invoke?? Just thinking about Sleep/Sleep Token?? Lol) but I think it’s Really Cool that they use real runes sometimes, cause even if they aren’t for magic purposes, just aesthetics, they are still using an old language for something new and I always like stuff like that lmao.

And I love your little headcanon at the end that’s so sweet.

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Random Idea junk drawer

So I had a great time doing my Wangxian-centric Breath of the Wild AU last year, and when I finished it I definitely left the epilogue open-ended enough to do more Zelda AU’s/Fusions in the future (I still don’t REALLY know how big the difference is between AU’s and Fusions and which one my other-content-inspired stuff usually counts as but I DIGRESS) because here’s the thing. The Thing(TM). Zelda games are my JAM. They were baby’s first special interest. Literally.

When I was 7 years old my parents bought a GameCube and a game disk that had 4 remastered Classic Zelda games on it (two 2D, two 3D) as well as a 20-minute playable demo for Wind Waker, with three different starting locations to choose from that you could play as many times as you wanted. And you bet my little 7-year-old ass played every bit of it that was within my skill level (which was not much lol), until I got my next Zelda game at 10 (that was Twilight Princess, and it was the first Zelda game I ever finished). I have the Wii walkthrough book for Twilight Princess that I bought used online and it reeked of cigarettes for months after I got it. I chose a screenshot of one of the characters out of it to paint on one of those horrible school industrial ceiling tiles in my 8th grade art class (sadly the photo of it is lost on an old dead phone, but it was really good, I mixed up all my own custom colors of paint and everything which was like. Impressive for 13 year old me :( ). I have and treasure the Hyrule Historia book. I had shitty ill-fitting graphic tees that said things like ‘Good things come to those who break clay pots’ (really funny to me now that I’m a ceramicist and could easily make pots for myself for the purpose of smashing if I were so inclined [I’m totally gonna]). I have massive Zelda tattoos on the insides of both forearms and I’m planning more so that I’ll hopefully end up with two Zelda half-sleeves. Like ZELDA IS MY THING. WHY I’m not writing more Zelda AU’s and playing around in my expanded sandbox of hyperfixations, I have no idea.

But anyway, I’ve started playing Ocarina of Time again, I have no idea how many times I’ve played it at this point within the last 19 years, and I’ve done it on every Nintendo console possible (except, ironically, the N64 as it was originally made for). So obviously I’m playing along and getting lost in the story because it’s a fuckin good story, as one does, and I was like ‘hey what if Wangxian tho’ and thus. Today’s junk drawer was born. Have I already started an outline of the fic plot points as well? Yes. Did I have to stop myself 800 words in and say that no I can’t just write out the entire plot tonight and no it can’t all go into this junk drawer post because I should actually just write the damn thing instead? Yeah. When will that happen? I don’t wanna think about it, so let’s just have fun talking characters and locations and their implications, shall we?

I’m going to post my notes completely unedited and let y’all see the whole ugly process, and I’m gonna put it below the cut because this is already long enough to scroll past but all I’ve done is gush about Zelda and in doing so further cement my well-established status as a huge fuckin nerd lol:

Jiangs/Lotus Pier as Kokiri Forest -- Deku Tree is Jiang Fengmian (Does this make Madam Yu the giant nasty spider inside????? ew)

- Wei Wuxian -- taken into LP/Kokiri Forest as a young child, young enough to fit in with the other children, but he'll soon be old enough for everyone to know that he isn't one of the lake/river children, he's from Elsewhere. - Jiang Cheng as Mido, small and angry and won't let anyone see JFM/YZY without really fucking good reason but also takes the leadership role in LP/Kokiri Forest once JFM/Deku Tree is dead - Jiang Yanli as Saria, gentle and sweet and fond of music and wandering through the woods that keep their lake hidden from the rest of the world. She'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood.

Cloud Recesses as Hyrule Castle, Lans are the Royal Family and Sheikah combined

- Lan Qiren as the king of Hyrule, though as the second brother he's supposed to be leading the Sheikah, not sitting on the throne - Lan Xichen (already in his 20's) as Impa. He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. Although he's supposed to be in line for the throne, someone has to be the leader of the Sheikah since LQR can't be, which leaves: - Lan Zhan as Princess Zelda -- plagued by dreams and visions of evil coming to take over the world, but no one takes him seriously because he's still so young. People also forget that in the line of succession he's supposed to be the one protecting the royal family as the next leader of the Sheikah, so it's actually his destiny to have these visions, not to be a politician. He sees in Wei Wuxian someone who's willing to break the rules and society's expectations to be the true hero he's been dreaming about. He'll take up the extremely active role of Wangji/Sheik as an adult, having learnt the Sheikah secrets under Lan Xichen's tutelage and taken up his rightful place as one of them since his escape from the palace as a child.

Kakariko Village -- inhabited by average people (akin to Caiyi town, close with the royal Lan family but not directly cultivators?)

Nies as Gorons in Death Mountain/Goron City/Nie Fortress

- Nie Mingjue as Darunia -- hot-tempered and built like the mountain, willing to swear brotherhood with the boy who came to save his people. He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. (NHS as the snot-nosed kid who hero-worships WWX in adulthood? lol)

Jins/Jinlintai as Zora's Domain -- The Zora are a proud people who live high above the rest of Hyrule at the top of their waterfall (tower). (Golden Carp Tower has a lot of water motifs and they decorate things in teal and gold like the zora do too)

- Jin Guangshan as King Zora - Jin Zixuan as Princess Ruto, eaten by their deity god (who is still a giant fuckin fish, I dunno what else he could be lol) and who thinks he has to be engaged to WWX after giving him the Sapphire (maybe because he was told from a young age he'd have to get engaged to one of the lake children anyway and just didn't know who/hint at unrealized Xuanli?) He'll awaken as a Sage in WWX's adulthood. - Jin Guangyao as (????? :( :( :( where will my boy go?? I need my boy for emotional support)

Wen Ruohan as Ganondorf -- a cruel king wreathed in shadow and flame....I mean it writes itself lol

- Baoshan Sanren as Rauru, the Sage of Light -- withdrew from the mortal world an unknowable amount of time ago to protect the Sacred Realm and has watched over WWX these last seven years as he slept. - Jiang Yanli as Saria, the Sage of Forest -- she awakens into her powers to protect her childhood friend/brother(s), though this will mean having to leave Jiang Cheng on his own in Lotus Pier - Nie Mingjue as Darunia, the Sage of Fire -- he awakens as a sage to honor the Brotherhood oath he swore with WWX in the past - Jin Zixuan as Princess Ruto, the Sage of Water -- he 'dumps' WWX because he has to do the more important work of stopping the apocalypse, try to contain your disappointment WWX, you can still be coworkers and save the world or whatever, if you even care. - Lan Xichen as Impa, the Sage of Shadow -- Lan Xichen must leave the mortal world behind to take up his mantle as the Sage of Shadow, leaving Lan Wangji to carry his worldly responsibilities instead (sort of half-retreating into seclusion like canon) - Wen Qing as Nabooru, the Sage of Spirit -- Wen Qing is the leader of the all-female band of Gerudo thieves who in no way endorse Wen Ruohan's domination of the world. When she leaves to take up her role as the Sage of Spirit, she leaves her cousin Wen Yun (my OC Madam Lan) to lead the Gerudo in her stead. (need to find a role for Wen Ning? Except zelda lore is that only one man is born to the Gerudo at a time every hundred years and he’s always their king. Maybe WN is meant to be the new one but WRH has reached immortality/won’t die and let him succeed him?)

Plot would follow Ocarina of Time fairly closely (Unlike my BOTW AU where I tried to make it...relatively more like canon??) because there's a very definite plot there, while BOTW is so much more fluid it was easier to adapt to something else.

[moonlightcrusader]

i know you said you were doing a lil better in the last post you made but im hoping everythings ok! take care of yourself and take your time, your wellbeing comes first

I may have fibbed on the last last post back in early august - July :((

Explanation on why I was mostly gone / taking a break :

***

So basically it kind of started after Father’s Day, I’m not sure if you guys remember but I think I mentioned my dad ordered/ marched us around to do stuff for him bc “it was his day and we do what he wants” and yeah everyone at the house was stressed out and frustrated. I was really angry bc he was being entitled and acting like he even deserved it :( all my younger siblings were stressed out and my mom, and naturally I was pissed. So that was like june and I was like okay no biggie. I lost a bit of inspo to write for a bit but I was like eh I can still do it.

All of July I was basically sick, I had horrible stomach problems and then my dad gave all of us the flu at the end of July, so I was really sick and under the weather all that month. You know, that was perfect to write Whump and I was planning a bunch of Whump fics, especially with all the new fandoms I was getting into!! 😂

However, I think what really sealed the deal was that my dad made us work outside despite being sick (he got over the flu so he was better) and he’s like a clean freak so the house was a bit dirty (WE WERE ALL SICK) so we couldn’t clean, and I had a huge headache and awful fever. Really bad, it felt like my head was gonna explode and I just wanted to crumble away.

Apparently that wasn’t enough for my dad bc he made me sweep the house (he got mad too bc I told him I wasn’t feeling well to work outside) and said I needed to get over it and kept yelling at me for not doing it faster. I did..what I could and sunk back into my room while I was feeling like crap. He later checked on me but…:/ just bc I guess. I ate bread and watched SpongeBob tho :)

Not bc of this but for privacy reasons my family isn’t talking to him often right now and that was like the end of July, so after that my life right now has been so peaceful and I guess I just felt..so mentally tired? Emotionally? Like, I felt like a rock was lifted off my shoulders. I just needed a mental reset and that’s why I’ve been kinda away? Like I know this might sound weird, but, the Spider-Man fandom has helped me cope and I guess it just reminded me too much of when I was so involved bc I didn’t wanna be reminded of my dad so I kinda took a break? Idk if that made sense lol

But I ventured to different medias (I normally stick to one and that’s it) started playing undertale, Deltarune, watching ROTTMNT and other stuff heh) and yeah I just…feel good ish now :)

I’m sorry if this didn’t make sense but moral of the story my dad makes me feel like crap so now that I’m not talking to him as much I feel rejuvenated and happier…and yeah. I don’t really like talking about it but sometimes it’s just… too much. He’s been kinda doing that my whole life but yeah I won’t get into specifics. Sorry for the rant guys aHHHHH

But thank you Anon for the check up!! And man I’m gonna admit it’s still a bit hard for me to write bc now that I’m in so many fandoms I just have so many ideas 😂 I’m hoping to update my drabbles soon cuz I still have my inbox requests. I’m probably gonna update my tumblr soon hehehehhee

[colorseeingchick]

Cheer You Up, Calm you Down (Oikawa, Hanamaki, Matsukawa)

Life is full of ups and downs! And the downs can come in all forms. But no matter what it is and how you seek to be comforted, these boys will have your back.'

A/N: This is part 3 in the series! All the boys are given different Y/Ns with different personalities and specific scenarios. They can all be read as either platonic or romantic - you decide

Warnings: Language; mentions of stalking in Mattsun's

Oikawa Tooru: With a Baddie Y/N

That bitch.

Honestly, this was not what you needed on a Tuesday morning. And before you had even had caffeine? Unacceptable.

Hate comments on your posts were something you were used to. Now, at no point did you think they were right in any way. You’re the embodiment of ‘bad bitch’ energy, and nothing anybody said would convince you otherwise. But what really gets under your skin is when your cousin comments passive aggressive BS to try and get up in your business.

And you were patient, too. You let it slide the first, like, seven times. But when she dropped a “if you’re a pick me that’s desperate for a boyfriend, you can just say that” under a carefree selfie of yours, you lost your cool.

You are many things, but being a ‘pick-me’ and ‘desperate’ were not among them. You pride yourself on your independence and self-assured aura. So that type of slander on your feed was where you drew the line.

Instantly, you text your best friend.

You: Bitches really do be tryna start shit.

Oikawa: It's me I’m bitches

Lol but seriously what’s happening

You: [image attached] lol

Oikawa: ??? excuse me

Who tf are they and what’s their problem?

You: She’s my cousin and idk she hates me for some unknown reason

Have you not seen her comment before?

Oikawa: No I usually just stare at your pretty pictures I don’t bother with the weirdos in your comments

But I guess I should start

Block her b

You: I CAN’T she’s literally my cousin

Knowing her she would tattle like the brat she is to my mom

I’m literally SO MAD why tf is she coming at me like this??? like?

Oikawa: what are we, 3?

But also ok I get that

How are you feeling tho

You: eh.

Oikawa: you wanna talk about it?

You: Like, idk.

I’m not desperate. I don’t think I come off that way at least, yk? That’s just not my vibe and the thought that someone thinks that I am is like…. Idk it makes me feel a lil sucky. Cuz I worked up to the self confidence I have. And I don't want to be in a public relationship rn but I don’t like the idea of coming off as desperate at allllll ugh WHY TF IS SHE COMING AT ME

Sorry that was a lot lol

Oikawa: first off-

Ur fine lol

You’re not desperate. You could literally be with any man, woman, person you wanted, you're that hot. You’d only date the worthy so don’t let ANYONE tell you off for having standards and just being confident and sharing your confidence

Cannot believe some irrelevant side character managed to make my lovely Y/N all bothered. Smh. Lemme see a pic of this girl.

You: [image attached] here’s her insta

Oikawa: LMAO

Babe

She’s so jealous

She literally WISHES she was you omg

I mean I also wanna be you ur hot

But yeah I think this is definitely coming from a place of insecurity and projection. She can’t get on your level, so she’s tryna just drag you down to her level, yk?

If I ever see this girl in person tho, that won’t end well

For her.

I’ll be fine

Uh also check insta :)

Unsure of what Oikawa is talking about, you swipe over to instagram. You pause, a smile growing over your face in confusion and amusement as you see what the Seijoh boys had posted.

Matsukawa had posted a pic of you two from one of your shopping adventures. He had it captioned “Can’t be a pick-me when they’re literally the one who gets to do the picking- gottem.”

Hanamaki had posted an iconic selfie of the two of you, captioning it “The only time Y/N and 'desperate' should be in the same sentence is when I’m telling Y/N how desperate I am for them 🥵.” You laugh at that one.

Iwa posted your favorite pic of you two - when you had gone to the gym and took a pre-workout mirror snap, his arms wrapped around your shoulders. He opted for no caption, but it said a lot.

You: AYO WHAT IS THIS

Oikawa: Ur unbothered nature is always so admirable and should stay that way. So I had the boys do the dirty work ;)

You: With insta posts?

Oikawa: Ye ok SO

I checked and found out she follows all 4 of us LOL who woulda known. So she’ll see them. A lil shade never hurt anybody~

You: Y’all are too much.

Oikawa: I woulda posted literally a collage of all our pics together but, I don’t want my fangirls to get on your ass. You’re dealing with enough rn

You: Tooooo much Tooru

Oikawa: You love me though ;)

You: Yes I do

my petty king <3

Oikawa: hehe I like the sound of that

Hanamaki Takahiro: With a fuming Y/N

You stared at your phone in disbelief.

Hey, so I already have 2 roommates and most apartments can’t house more than 3 people ~ so I can’t room with you anymore. Sorry.

Complete, and UTTER bullshit. Every bit of it. It was only 2 days prior that you’d talked to them about your plan to be roommates, which you’d been planning for for over a year. And you knew for a fact that apartments with more than 3 people were definitely in existence.

But you weren’t going to waste a bit more of your time on someone like that. “Ah, okay,” you text back.

Thanks for being so understanding :)

Tsk. Please.

You’re fuming at the texts, doing everything you can to mitigate your impulsive desires to go off on them, when you hear a triple knock at your door. You swing it open to see Hanamaki leaning against your doorway. He looks so relaxed with his hands buried deep into his pockets, a coy smirk playing on his lips.

“Heya you ready to go to-” he pauses, scanning your face, his eyebrows furrowing. “-what. Who died.”

You scoff at his brash remark, ready to slam the door on him, but he catches it.

“Was it your cat? I know you don’t have a cat but still.”

You chuck your phone over to Makki before you jump onto your bed.

“Read it.”

“I’ll read it, but on the way.”

“On the way where?”

“You forgot? We’re meeting with Mattsun and his girl. His best friends can’t be pulling up late AND in a bad mood, so I’m gonna deal with both at the same time.”

“At the same time?”

“Double homicide.”

You roll your eyes at the dumb reference. “Fine.”

As you both walk out of your freshman dorm, Makki’s one hand stays in his pocket while the other holds your phone. Once outside, he extends your phone back to you so you can unlock it, and it’s only a minute later that Makki stops in his tracks.

“What,” you ask.

“What typa bullshit is this?”

“That’s what I’m saying!!”

“Haven’t y’all been planning to room together since the beginning of this year?”

“Yeah.”

“Bullshit!!!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be making me feel better?”

“Fuck that, I’m just as mad as you are.” He sighs and checks your phone again - now for the time. “Shit. I really don’t wanna be late again... Mattsun is gonna kill me.” He grabs your hand and begins to tug you along, and you can’t help but laugh at the way he’s storming down the sidewalk. “Listen to me. They ain’t all that great anyways. You’re like, top tier roommate material. Finding a better roommate and a better housing situation will be a cakewalk for you.”

That reassurance really was what you needed just now. You couldn’t help but wonder if you weren’t likable enough to live with, or what the matter was. But knowing that fun and chill Makki deemed you a good roommate felt nice. But that didn’t change the fact that-

“I still don’t like being snaked.”

“I don’t like it either. Fuck them. But you probably dodged a bullet.” Makki huffs as he squeezes your hand, signaling you to stop. He puts your phone in his free pocket and pulls out his phone at the same time (he evidently forgot that letting go of your hand is also an option). As his thumb taps away at google maps, he scans the area before starting up again, “if they’re a snake, you wouldn’t wanna be living with them. They at least revealed their true colors sooner than later. Just take the high ground and cut them off now. It’s clean for you and it’ll bite them in the ass sooner than later.”

As Makki finally guides you to the restaurant front door, he stops abruptly before turning towards you. “You okay for now?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m still salty, but a lot less mad now.”

“Good. Stay less mad. Cuz if you get really mad in there again, it’s over for the both of us.”

“Why both?”

“Cuz if you get mad, I’ll get mad with you. And that won’t be a good first impression on Mattsun’s girl, will it?”

“I don’t know - we’re already 20 minutes late, I don’t know how much worse we could make it.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault we got lost!”

It definitely was his fault. But it’s your turn to grab his hand and tug him into the restaurant, laughing.

Matsukawa Issei: With a Y/N who hides their feelings

The tiles in your kitchen are icy, stinging the bottom of your feet as you gently pace in circles, the ringer of your phone vibrating in your ears until you hear him pick up.

“Hey, what’s up?” His deep voice feels a little muddled over the phone, but the warmth is ever present. You sigh in relief a little just at the sound of it.

“Mattsun.”

“That is my name, yeah.”

You dryly chuckle, “Hello, I need to talk to you.”

“I figured- that’s usually why you make a phone call.” You swear you can almost hear the smirk on his face.

“I’m kinda pissed off right now.”

“Mkay. What pissed you off?”

And so you tell your story. You were talking to this guy a few months ago, 5 months ago maybe? And he started to show a lot of red flags so you cut him off and thought that it was the end of it. You kept ghosting him whenever he texted you, and it was all fine until he had joined the club you were in. He kept tryna insult you, attack you, do anything to get a reaction out of you, and he would text you after every attempt. But you’d never respond. That seemed to be the best option.

That was until one day he sent you a picture of your address. He’d somehow gotten your mail, and he sent a picture of the mailing address with your name on top, which you just shrugged off as a mistake on the end of the postal office.

You were just mad that he’d not stopped texting you and attacking you, and you didn’t know what else to do about it at this point. You just felt like ranting, is all you said.

“...Y/N what the fuck.”

“He’s so annoying, right?”

“How long ago did this happen?”

“It’s been a couple of days.”

“Did he say anything with the text when he sent you your address?”

“No, it was just a picture of my mail.”

“...Y/N, where are you right now?” It was hidden, but you could hear the panic in his voice.

“I’m...I’m home right now.”

“Do you feel safe?”

One thing you always had to hand to Matsukawa was that, although he looked half asleep and sometimes played dumb, he was very vigilant. He knew what was up. And he just so happened to exactly know the question that you’d been trying to avoid.

“Not really…. No.”

“You should’ve called earlier, Y/N. Are your parent’s home?”

“...no, it’s just me.”

“Then I’m coming over right now. You stay put.”

"Okay," Your voice betrays you and reveals your stress.

"Hey," He calls out before hanging up, "You're gonna be alright, okay? "

“Thank you, Mattsun.”

“I’ll be there in 5.”

When you open the door, you see the concern glistening in Mattsun’s eyes. “Can I come in?” He tugs his shoes off before stepping inside, shutting and locking the door behind him. Opening his arms, he walks towards you before protectively wrapping his arms around your back.

“Why didn’t you say anything till now, sweetheart?”

Your heart stutters at the nickname. You knew he only called you anything endearing when he was really worried.

“I didn’t want to…”

“Worry me?”

“That, and I didn’t really wanna accept it, I think. It’s a bit weird, right?”

“More than a bit weird. I don’t wanna freak you out but I also have to be real with you… he has your address now. Which he didn’t have before. And he let you know he has it, but didn’t say anything else….”

“I know. It’s weird. And I’m kinda scared, too. Maybe I’m just being paranoid-”

“Noooo. Don’t start that.” Mattsun cuts you off, holding your shoulders. “ I’m so fucking tired of watching people I love feel stupid because they’re afraid. Afraid of people who made them feel unsafe. That shit doesn’t add up.” Mattsun drops to your height, his large hand gently holding your neck. “Your feelings are valid, sweetheart. He’s a creep, and it’s okay to be afraid of him.” Grabbing his hand, you tug his grip around your back and lean into his chest. “Thank you, Mattsun.”

“No problem." He muffles into your hair, holding you for a bit. "Now let’s go.”

“Where?”

“We’re gonna buy you a knife. And some pepper spray. If he even dares try and come up to you anywhere, make his life absolute hell.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“But don’t worry too much. If me, Iwa, Oikawa, or Makki are around, you won’t even have to lift a finger. We’ll beat the shit out of him ourselves.”

Notes:

Mattsun's and Makki's are the exact situations I'm going through rn lmao.

Y/N's cousin from Oikawa's proceeded to unfollow all of the Seijoh boys and delete her comment from Y/N's post. Dubs.

I don't know if anyone remembers that "damn, Double homicide" tiktok audio but that's what I was referencing in Makki's.

Mattsun told Makki and Y/N a time that was 15 minutes early because he knew they would never be on time.

But they were late anways. Mattsun was gonna be mad at Y/N and Makki - but then he saw the way they held hands and said nothing.

Mattsun and Iwa saw Y/N's stalker in the city and threatened him till he cried :) (God I wish this was true lmao)

Oikawa's Y/N is inspired by my best friend.

OIkawa was gonna post but then

Lemme know how the characterizations were on this one!

[iammarriedtothemusic]

yeah… i don’t think i’ll be able to support olivia ever after what happened this last year. i was a sabrina stan before and will continue to be one, i’ve discovered josh’s music and adore his music now and beyond olivia’s music not being my taste, she just showed in the last year an utter disregard for sab and josh and the negative impact on their lives…

sorry i said what i said but i cannot support someone who a) tears down other women b) has such a blatant disregard for the aftermath of her music (not that she shouldn’t talk about what she wants to talk about, but hello damage control???)

Hi, anon! I am so sorry for the late reply, I was preparing my stuff for law school and things got hectic as of late but thank you for this ask! I agree with everything you said and I hope you won't mind me going into a kind of sort of rant in the next few sentences!! LOL

Honestly, I came from having lukewarm feelings about Olivia to just not straight up liking her, just for the way she handled the drama. I am also so tired of how her fans are babying her and saying that whatever she says won’t change anything and I’m like that’s not the point?? The point is to show that she actually fucking cares, which she didn’t show at all  😭😭 Also, even if we go with that argument and disregard "controlling" her fans, what about her friends who posted slutshaming/shady tweets about Sabrina? I heard this from a friend but her dad also apparently liked slutshaming tweets about Sabrina although I am unsure about that one but still, if she couldn't take the time to say anything to her fanbase maybe tell her friends to stop shading Sab and fueling the drama further?

They also bring up Selena's situation where Sel addressed her fans so many times to not send anyone hate and people hate on HB anyway and I'm like but notice how no one is blaming Selena Gomez for it? Because she actually took the time to "control" her fans, at that point, anything her fans do is out of her hands. But Olivia never took that time, not even once. I am not counting that fucking magazine interview because that was honestly so half-assed and performative I pretty much lost my respect for her. I'm sure she's a great singer songwriter or whatever, I'm personally not a fan of driver's license and I didn't bother listening to her other songs so IDK but just the way she handled everything left me uninterested about everything else.

Also, there's this thing Joshua said in a recent interview that artists are in some way too are responsible on how the conversations around their art goes and I remember it being quoted on a tweet and so many livies going wild. Like it's true tho, I think anyone with a platform is in a way responsible to how their audience reacts to the things they put out-- I mean small youtubers can do it so why can't Olivia?

And then there's what Louis said about the fandom being reflective of the artist and I had never fucking agreed more, IDK if it's just me but everything makes so much sense whenever I interact with someone on stan community and find out their fandoms LOL

Anyway, I think what I'm most angry about the drama is that Sab honestly had so many plans for 2021 but she had to take a raincheck because those obsessed weirdos would make it about that fucking drama. Josh too, he had to let the drama die down a bit because people were taking it too far-- I remember that one tweet about him in the hospital and all those livies tweeting he should've been dead. Let's not even talk about the SA and the coming out, at that point, even bigger figures where chiding in that it's impossible to say that Olivia didn't know how blew out of proportion everything was. The internet literally witchhunted Sab and Josh for a solid year (and even now TBH) and she stood there and did absolutely nothing. So yeah, I don't really blame you for not liking or supporting her, I don't really either.

I just hope her fans stops sending me hate anons at this point, the slurs are getting kind of old. Also forgot to add that everything you said just resonated with me so well that's my exact feelings thanks for the vindication op ily xx

[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[obeiii-mee]

Hey there! Love your writing. What about MC spending a whole day with just one of the brothers? Like you know, if the brothers were deciding what to do? Sorry if it’s too boring and romantic haha, I’m a lost case, I desperately need that night walks with Satan and working out with Beel in my life haha. Thanks xx

Same though. I love writing just typical HCs with the bros during date night or something. And I’m currently writing a few angst HCs so I really needed this too lmao. I hope you don’t mind these not being too long. I hope this satisfies you lol.

Enjoy!

——————————

The Brothers Spending a Whole Day with MC:

Lucifer:

-Mr. Prideful doesn’t take many days off

-But when he’s with you, he really feels like he can unwind properly

-Lucifer loves going on walks with you tbh

-He feels like it’s a nice break from all of his office work and meetings

-Sometimes the two of you end up in Majolish or a restaurant

-He definitely has a thing for spoiling you on days like these, because he feels he doesn’t appreciate you enough otherwise

-Like when he yells at both you and Mammon for doing stupid shit around Lord Diavolo

-The two of you could walk through the whole of DevilDom hand in hand if you had more hours in the day

-I see Lucifer as a bit traditional when it comes to dating so it’s obvious you’ll have movie dates and everything

-But a day off for him? With you? Away from his brothers, all of their chaos and the never ending attention his paperwork needs?

-It feels like he’s in the Celestial Realm all over again

-He does love you

-His past just doesn’t let him express his affection towards you very well

Mammon:

-If the two of you could spend the whole day together, there are only three places you could be at: Majolish, the casino or trying to make money for Mammon’s debts somewhere

-But it doesn’t really matter for him

-He could be stuck in a broom closet with you and still be happy (though he wouldn’t admit it)

-Spending a day with just him is bound to end in tears to be honest, on his part usually

-Because everything is going well and you’re having fun

-“Ah shit!”

-“Mammon you OK? What happened?”

-“I accidentally sold Lucifer’s gloves for 50000 Grimm!”

-How does one accidentally sell something?

-So he get a bit of an earful for that

-Other than that, being with the second eldest is crazy enough as it is

-You may have lost all that money at the casino but for the first time in a while, Mammon didn’t care that much

-Because you were there and laughing with him about how stupid both of you were

-You guys hit as many shops as possible and just generally have a messy, fun time together

-He often ends these days saying something like “You should be grateful that THE GREAT MAMMON agreed to let you tag along with him today.”

-But just kiss him on the cheek and he will shut up. For like hours. He’ll be too flushed to even look you in the eye

-He really wants to spend another day out with his human

Levi:

-Welp, life of a shut-in otaku

-It should be of no surprise that the two of you spend most of your time in his room

-It’s just the one place he’s most comfortable in and having you there makes it so much better

-Anime’s and video games are a must obviously

-But he loves doing movie marathons with you too (while loudly complaining the movie sucks and that you’re a normie for choosing it. Which means he likes it)

-Maybe a few good hours of him ranting about TSL because it’s Levi

-So the chances of you guys getting any sleep on said day are slim to none

-Also, if you agree to go to conventions with him, he will die of happiness

-On the rare occasion that he does go outside, he’s only out there because you went with him so that should tell you how much he loves you

-But most of the time you’re locked in his room to the point where Luci dearest has to come along and drag you the fuck to breakfast

-Ah, true love~~

Satan:

-I mean, this one should be pretty obvious too

-If he doesn’t enjoy dates in the library, then is he really Satan? (I never thought a sentence like that would ever be typed)

-Most of the time it ends with him reading to you because his voice is sO bEAutIful and you just melt when you hear it

-I will forever hc that he makes sound effects while reading too so imagine that

-You two don’t always get the chance to spend a whole day together

-But he tries to check in on you at least once a day

-*Cue romantic run through the house of Lamentation, trying to find you so he can gossip and bitch about Lucifer*

-Walks with him are very common too

-They usually take place at night, because he’s a sap and he read too many romance books and damn it kiss him already

-He would hold an umbreally over you if it started raining and everything

-Satan takes these moments to chat to you about anything, he just wants to appreciate you being there

-You guys made out several times while on these ‘walks’ ngl skskevshskbeuensb

-One time, you showed him a cat cáfe in the human realm and he went nuts

-Safe to say you’ve been there more times than I care to count, most of which were without permission

-A day with him can either go extremely calmly and end with you guys falling asleep on each other in his room or escalate to either pranking Lucifer or...steamier stuff

-Haha if anyone ever mentions he’s a cheesy bastard, they’re dead before they can say their prayers

-Except you, you get the pass on this one, tease him as much as you want

Asmo:

-Finally, he gets to have you all to himself without any of his brothers cockblocking him all the time~ (same tbh)

-The whole day would be planned from head to toe in activities and events

-It would start with some sort of makeover in the morning (getting your nails done, doing hairstyles, skin routine etc.)

-Then it would move on to some serious shopping sprees where he basically buys everything that he deems to be cute

-They’re for you 100% tho

-The day usually ends with you getting dragged to parties and clubs because Asmo can’t go a day without speaking to other people

-By the time you get home, you’re almost knocked out cold and carrying several bags full of clothes and shit

-But you can never say you didn’t enjoy yourself on these days

-Having Asmo around is exhilarating and somehow, even if crowds happen to not be your thing, it’s still really easy to have fun anyway

-There are times when the two of you stay at home and do each other’s nails and everything

-And you two are very fond of these sort of dates as well

-Of course, all of this assuming he won’t try to seduce you and get in your pants all day

-Turns our Mammon is somehow telepathically connected to you and rushes over any time this happens

-So much for not being cockblocked I guess

-He always switches things up as well which is usually very pleasant because you don’t visit the same shops or clubs every day

-Just be back by midnight or you’ll have your asses handed back to you otherwise

Beel:

-Beel loves you

-Beel loves food

-If those two happen to be in the same room, he might as well die peacefully

-It’s all he ever asked for (especially if Belphie is there too)

-Half of the day is spent at either Hell’s Kitchen or in your kitchen at home

-For him, the food always tastes better when you’re there so if you’re willing to go, then he’ll be like a cheerful puppy the whole time (how many times have I compared Beel to a puppy lmao)

-The other half of the day is spent training

-Work out sessions are important to him and he’s more than happy to let you join in

-If anything, you’ll be on his back as he does his push ups even though you’re not that heavy to him

-It sort of warms that demon heart of his because you’re always there handing him towels and water after he’s finished

-And you always have snacks prepared too which is wonderful really

-Kudos for being able to hide them from him the whole time

-It’s also not that surprising to know that you, Beel and Belphie hang out a lot

-So these days often mean that Belphegor tags along with you guys everywhere

-You won’t notice him tho, believe me, he’ll just stay attached to Beel’s back and sleep the whole time

-If he gets to spend a day with his loved ones, then Beel can honestly not ask for more

Belphie:

-“Belphie...?”

-“Yes MC?”

-“Is.....is that a pillow fort that’s almost as big as the attic?”

-“It is indeed.”

-“Why?”

-“Why not?”

-Tbh it would be a miracle if you two didn’t sleep the whole day

-But if he had to go somewhere with you

-It would be anywhere

-Much like Mammon, he couldn’t give less of a shit about the evironment as long as you’re there

-Chances are, however, that he will sneak you two to the human world a few times in secret

-He still insists he hates humans but truth is, he misses them and their realm

-Going back there, without permission the same way he did all those centuries ago, was like a breath of fresh air

-You guys would be chilling at a park in the human realm, probably make small picnic or something

-Belphie, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, loves these dates and would kill anything on his path if it meant he gets to be in your arms while taking a nap in the human world

-He invites Beel along too which makes everything so much better for him

-He will just fall asleep on you while you run your fingers through his hair

-Belphie is so warm too so it’s likely you won’t stay awake for long either

-Poor Beel has to carry both back to DevilDom but he does it anyway without complaining >:(

-He knows that he isn’t allowed to come up here and that he should stop these dates before Lucifer finds out

-But being out here with you brings him an irreplaceable meaning and you’re so soft and gentle, he can’t resist cuddling into you

-Also he doesn’t give a shit what Lucifer thinks

(Idk why my writing is so bad in this post, it kinda feels like I forced myself to write it and maybe that’s why..? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my mess of HCs)

Al~

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 5]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ? 

“You guys! I--you have to see this!”

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.

sleepy_wonu: holy hell

universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella

alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads

angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol 

You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y’know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.

dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)

tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast

hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss

dom.cheol has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”

dom.cheol: 5

universe_WZ: 4

sleepy_wonu: 6

angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5

alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!

gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3

tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck

kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!

xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!

therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….

chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear

hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky

Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”

Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”

dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?

xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…

The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.

“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

xcaliburDK has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum

Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.

dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute

therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now

angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao

“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.

sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar

gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol

“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.

kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting

chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it

dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get

“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.

You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.

tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh

therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE

Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.

Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.

He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.

Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.

“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”

Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.

Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.

angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging

universe_WZ: NO

dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)

You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.

hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out

artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this

xcaliburDK: goddamn same

The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.

You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.

Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.

alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby

universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck

universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk

You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.

“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”

dom.cheol has donated $400

dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)

universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON

universe_WZ has donated $150

angelhan has donated $150

therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close

hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/

You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.

You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show. 

Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.

Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think. 

He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.

You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.

Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.

The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.

His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it. 

All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.

Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.

The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.

In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.

Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.

And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.

“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either.  Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”

While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.

The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.

And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.

“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”

Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.

He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple  sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.

“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.

“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”

Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.

He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.

“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.

“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”

You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.

He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.

Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.

“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.

Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”

“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”

You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.

“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”

He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.

“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.

“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”

The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”

“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.

“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.” 

Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.

“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”

“It’s a deal!”

The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.

“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”

You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.

In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.

The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.

Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.

“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”

[ilysmxiao]

your title is gone now, childe. | childe x reader

ok this is rlly shitty bc ive nvr written for childe before. the reason why i did was bc there was a yt vid (which the link is here) and a lot of ppl were writing ab it,, so i decided to join in on it and my friend rlly liked it lol. so im posting this here . this is super shitty tho, cus i rushed it. childe is probably occ so b warned. anyways i might start writing genshin fics, so yea. pls pls pls check the warnings bc this is triggering,, gn prns used !! i wrote this listening to i bet on losing dogs on repeat lmao summary : the love of your life remains as your enemy, even as you both grow closer and share memories you would never share with another person. although you truly loved him, he had what you didn’t. in our lives, we do what we can to achieve what we want, even if it ruins what we already had. we must pay the price if we sought to get what we wish. warnings : character death, gore/blood, knife stuff, possible manipulation?? jus overall sad shit. please dont read this if ur triggered by those things !! 

at first, it had felt like a game - a childish one, in which both had fought for the title they held so dear. a number was just so in many eyes, but in their own, it held much more meaning. to be a harbringer, you must prove your strength. to achieve such title, it wasn't considered dirty to cheat, as it all was just part of the game. as time went on, though, it all had lost it's meaning, though one continued to fight - whether that was to prove he earned his title, and did not want to lose the superiority that it granted him, or for other selfish reasonings that even his inner thoughts refused to accept. due to his own lack of true understanding of the powers others held to make himself seem all the greater, childe went into the war blindly; yet, at the same time, too aware, so much so that his concentration on his weak spots created a new one entirely that was left open. it was not paranoia that put him in this spot, but his own selfish reasons he had yet to entirely understand. a cough escaped the males lips, blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth. it was then, did he realize he underestimated his lovers strength, their willpower, and the lack of true love they held for them. even with a knife against their neck, they would not back down, and it was far too late to realize such. whether [y/n] truly loved him or not, whether they used him for the title that granted them so much power in liyue, he could not tell if what angered him was the lies he had been given or the very fact he so gradually fell straight into them. in the end, all that mattered was who won, but he was unsure if the battle he sought was one he truly wished for. although he was a merciless harbringer, one with no care for the likes of someone like [y/n], he still had a right to love. not only so, but at the end of the day, [y/n] promised him that if all else corroded around the two, they would always be there. childe refused to listen to the soft spoken echoes of the loving words [y/n] used to tell him. he refused to watch the sweet memories of the two playing with teucer, bringing back the toys [y/n] taught him how to make for the pure fact that the poor kid would not find out the truth - or when they would lay in bed together, speaking of the many stories they had experienced in their lifetimes that made them who they were now. but when all is said and done, what all of that was true? did any of it mean anything, if the ones people truly loved hurt them in a way that was unforgivable? when they took away the one thing that meant so much to them? when all is taken, what do they become; what happens then? "oh, oh, my little baby," his lovers lips cooed, their hand softly grazing the others chin. "what have you become?" a soldier that blindly ran into war, fighting against a force he could never put his finger on. the title of a harbringer was an important one, though, how important it was to another was never going to be the same as the other. childe lacked to realize such, stuck in a bubble of his own selfishness and his love for the other - he never cared to realize how much it might have meant to the other. he never sought to realize the power that being even related to one it gave them, or the trip that it would put them on. childes eyes gazed up at his lover, soon shooting away to the empty space beside them. upon looking into those blue eyes of his, one could see the color began to dull and the ambitions he once held began to fade. "i should have been more cautious of you, i would have never expected you to be the one to steal this from me." although he said it in a tone that could show the way he laughed at his own faults, [y/n] knew very well that he had officially been stripped of what power he had held. "you underestimate me, childe. did the acts of other teach you nothing? even the ones you love betray you, a war can not have two winners." a small, hoarse chuckle left his lips; a burning sensation growing in his abdomen. the blood continued to poor out of his side, in which, caught his attention - his eyes glanced at the wound at his side, then back at his lover. he knew his time was up, as the thoughts of his loved ones and the risks he had managed to pull through with scattered his mind - was it worth it, leaving his loved ones behind, his younger brother who had meant as much to him as he did to teucer, in the end? "i hope that..," [y/n] paused for a moment, a small sigh leaving their lips. "in the next life, we meet again, and that you are sure not to let your guard down." the gaze that casted upon childes body soon wavered, turning into almost a sad one, perhaps even a disappointed one - in that moment, when their gaze met each others, they both realized what this both costed them both. it was clear that [y/n] still loved him, and always have loved him, and that was the breaking point for the both of them. one refused to show it, the other was uncaring of what he had let the other see. what is left after life is what truly matters, and although you may not like how it ended, at least something stuck with you until the end. right? "i-i'd like to believe that, [y/n]," childe muttered shakily, his brows very slightly furrowing. "you truly can not trust those closest to you." although the males lover already knew what they had done, what it had costed them - the one person he had chosen to love, the last words to leave childes lips was what had made him fully understand what he had done and the pain was one he knew that he never truly would be able to get away from. "well, we will see, won't we?" there was a pause, silence soon flooding the air. childe knew his time was coming, he accepted it, and it nearly mortified him to know things had to end the way it was going to. "y-yeah, we will.," few words left childes lips, and another blade plunged into his stomach. another groan left his lips, his face coiling slightly in pain. if you were to look hard enough, you could almost see the tears that soon began to prick the males eyes. "i love you, ajax." soon, [y/n] wrapped their body against their dying lover, and childe attempted to do the same. "i-i.., love.. you, too." those were the final words that childe spoke, his body soon going limp in his lovers arms. the words he spoke still lingered, echoing in the bristling sounds of leaves swaying in the wind - nothing more, nothing less. to become a harbinger, there were no rules - you just had to prove you were worthy of such a title, no matter what it costed, no matter how you cheated the rest. life does not come with special privilege's, no one will let you surpass them willingly, you have to fool them into believing you cant, and only then will you be able to reach what you sought for.

[caffernnn]

Final stroke spoilers: ⚠️‼️

I just saw a post on Twitter about the Haru and Rin scene and how they didn’t feel that it was that ooc of Haru. I thought I was the only one who felt that it was kind of justified on Haru’s end. Because both Rin and Ikuya put Haru and their friends through so much when they were lost and wanted to swim with Haru again. And I get that professional swimming is entirely different than what they’re used to, but it really sucks that as soon as the competition got a little hard they decided to just drop free and only swim their preferred styles. That’s got to be a slap in the face to Haru, because what was all of that other stuff about? Like Rin wanted for YEARS for Haru to swim on the world stage and after the first race is like “you’re on your own.” He honestly deserves it to be honest even if Haru would’ve never said anything to protect their friendship he was clearly thinking or thought these thoughts. For a show where Haru is the mc we rarely get to see how he feels about things. I wish we can see the movie soon, cause I really wanna see how that whole sequence takes place.

⚠️ Talking about Free! Final Stroke spoilers below the cut ⚠️

It’s wild to me (it probably shouldn’t be surprising; idk) how even going off of just spoilers, there is a clear divide in the reactions people are having to Haru’s actions in the movie, especially in reference to the sudden shift leading up to the fight with Rin. I can see why people are surprised by it on a base level because so much of his successes in DttF, paired with the camaraderie everyone seems to have for a majority of the movie, leads you to believe Haru has emotionally matured and stabilized since high school, which is true! He’s more open to change and examining his emotions, especially as he starts to grapple with a high-stakes long-term goal for what feels like the first time. With that said, all of this can be true at the same time Haru is going through a steady breakdown that can/will likely lead to burnout. So many people who’ve been put through rigorous academic programs or career training or anything else equally as intensive can attest to the frustration of feeling like every few steps forward (gaining experiential knowledge, making connections, learning more about your identity in reference to x goal, etc) are followed by a step back (exhaustion, plateaus, expectations you can’t meet, mistakes spilling out when you can’t keep repressing the negatives in the name of “productivity”). Haru was able to make it this far because he has grown and started to heal some of the cracks in his support group, but the sheer amount of pressure makes it easier for him to break, and old wounds that never fully healed have time to fester.

I probably sound like a broken record in these movie-related posts when talking about Haru getting obsessed with becoming stronger and not knowing what to do with that fairly new and overwhelming drive. I can’t be mad at Haru completely for his choices here (can’t wait to be called a Haru apologist when the movie comes out in more places jfjdjd) because he partially fell victim to circumstance. This is one of the first times Haru takes the expectations of him being a “hero” or “prodigy” into consideration, and now he’s trying to navigate the expectations of success that come with those titles while not being sure 1) what exactly they are beyond winning, and 2) not being sure if they’re actually attainable for him. Along with that, he’s putting faith in Ryuuji’s instruction and guidance because he needs someone with any sort of credibility or experience with the pro circuit to show him how to get to the top. Even though from an outside standpoint it’s easier to discredit and reject Ryuuji’s assertion that everyone at the top has to give something up to get there, there are a number of reasons Haru reconsiders the notion with everything he’s seeing. He’s seeing his newest rivals reach crazy success and strength through isolation, and Ryuuji is dangling a golden opportunity in front of his face by going to Haru in the moments where he’s most vulnerable and saying “yes, that strength you crave is possible for you, but only if you pay this specific price for it.” Nobody should bear the weight of “saving” Haru from his circumstances (especially not his friends on their own journeys… Ryuuji and other mentors watching this trainwreck can eat my shorts tho), but dealing with this ultimatum while his core support group is pushing forward through their own challenges and/or busy in another country, I can’t be too surprised when he starts to overextend himself and burst at the seams.

As far as the blow-up with Rin, I won’t say it’s fully justified, but it’s understandable. The way Haru has had to make peace with his hardships with Ikuya and Rin has largely been by atoning for his own involvement in those rifts and trying to turn over a new leaf without expecting much in return. He took the opportunities of swimming with both of them again to replace any apologies on their parts and largely made peace with it. As much as it’s going to hurt to watch, I’m interested to see this fight play out because it sounds like it addresses a problem we bring up a lot in meta analyses posts: there needs to be more explicit conversations and apologies between characters, or the closure feels flimsy and temporary at best. This fight isn’t about closure (it’s about a lot of things both involving and excluding Rin, but I ranted about that in the other spoiler post) but it’s acknowledgement after all of this time that there’s still a need for it. Having Rin back in his life as a rival and friend has held the caveat in the back of his mind that Rin will leave his side again if Haru’s friendship/rivalry stops serving all of his interests. Haru’s ultimate fear of being abandoned by people, of people using him without understanding him and then throwing him aside for someone/something else, is drastically coming back to the surface in all of his stress. Rin and Ikuya choosing to continue their pro careers with strokes that better suit their strengths isn’t abandonment, just like Makoto choosing a university in Tokyo wasn’t, but Haru is so lost in his own stress and despair that he can’t see these choices as anything but personal attacks in the moment. These choices don’t have to do with Haru and we’re never meant to hurt him (which he comes to realize by the end of each fight), but the unresolved issues mixed with his fears make him explode.

It’s not a black and white situation where only one side is in the right, and I hope whatever resolution comes in the second movie acknowledges that. Rin didn’t deserve Haru’s taunting and wrath in that moment, but I do want him to reflect on the whole mess and recognize that Haru’s in a desperate place not unlike the one he was in when he first went to Australia and seemingly cut everyone off. I want them both to consider that avoiding airing out those insecurities because it’d be uncomfortable or embarrassing ultimately led them back here, unsure how to talk about changes and concerns without first having one of them explode or hit rock bottom. They can be friends outside of swimming, I’d want them to be friends outside of swimming, but I think Haru isn’t blind to how much of their connection is reliant on intrigue in the water, and a part of him is scared that Rin won’t have a reason to stick around if they aren’t rivaling each other in the same stroke anymore.

All of this can make for a great chance of resolution in the second movie, if done well. There’s opportunity for Haru to realize that the trajectory of dreams can change, and just like Rin changing his stroke or Makoto changing his training emphasis, you can honor the parts of the dream that first inspired you while finding a path that honors the person you’ve become. There’s opportunity for Haru to break from the dangerous echo chamber he’s currently in telling him he has to do this all alone in a few ways. Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “I gave up everything and still couldn’t get stronger, so now I need to get back to finding what gives me strength personally.” Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “if my only option is a path paved in loneliness, I need to find a new dream.” There are so many directions the story can go in at this point, and I’m excited to see what happens next (and maybe write about the paths they don’t choose lol).

[avenger-hawk]

Why do you like Kakasasu?

I waited to reply to this because I wanted to be sure it wasn’t a troll and it wasn’t a drama starting attempt (like this or this, gems found in the sasuke/KS tag) since it’s a subject I am very interested in.

I replied to Kakashi/Sasuke related asks, shippy or not shippy, here, here and here. More about them here, here and here. Put yourself comfortable cause this is gonna be long. Not putting it under a readmore cause I remember ppl complaining they coulnd’t open it on mobile phones (?). Also, moralists who are lurking: don’t interact, get out of my blog. Youll be blocked on sight.

When I started reading N*ruto I was into Bleach a lot, and the fact that the characters were a little older and looked older made me not get into Nar that much at first, because they looked like kiddies lol. I didn’t care about Nar as a character and his initial rivalry with Sas was cute but not enough to get me interested. Only when Kakashi got closer to Sasuke I started being veery interested in the story and in the characters. What I found intriguing was that Kakashi was older and an authority figure, but also someone to look up and who helped his students, BUT at the same time he wasn’t exactly a father-like figure or a big brother-like figure, because he had his dark side, that back then wasn’t well flashed out but that nevertheless showed a closed-off person who kept everything inside, not letting others get too close to him.

(then I started liking N*rusasu mostly because there were so many cool doujinshi especially Emi10/Rankai and Engawaken, while KS doujinshi were so meh, kinda in old yaoi style like Loveless, with tiny Sas who looked even younger hahaha, not my thing)

As those who know my blog and/or my writing know already, I am not interested in healthy, cute, positive dynamics in fiction. I might enjoy them, I might be happy when there are such moments, but I can’t like a whole relationship/dynamic/story only like this because I like to explore complicated ones in fiction.Because fiction is very useful for this, it makes you explore dark, taboo things, without affecting reality (no matter what idiots say), it’s cathartic, it’s a way to do, see, experience things without doing anything.

Back to topic tho, I found their initial dynamic very intriguing. A broken, traumatized yet extremely driven Sasuke, acting as confident and strong as he can, but showing his trauma in various occasions, otherwise being mostly aloof, lost in his own thoughts, and a differently broken Kakashi, acting chill but at the same time always ready to act when needed, yet always kinda distracted, aloof, lost in his owh thoughts (and later we’ll know he took Obito’s mannerisms because he was a stickler to rules). The way Kakashi takes a special interest for Sasuke, clearly the most driven, the best of the team, with whom he holds back much less (when he trains them, like when in the beginning, during the bell test, he fights with Sas and seeing that he almost took it, he overpowers him) while he is different with the others (Nar will have Jiraiya later). The way he protects Sasuke during the chuunin exams, while he’s in the hospital and Kabuto is trying to kill him.

Mostly, the controversial moments...like I said I live for these kind of things. where he both protects and threatens him...like when he does that seal to Sasuke, for his curse mark, and he tells him that if that curse mark takes over he’ll kill him. Or when he ties Sasuke up so he won’t join Orochimaru.

Before someone says bs like *you’re not Sas fan if you like that scene* (I know there are many like this and I want all of them out of my blog btw) uh, it’s not how it works guys. You can support a character and still be intrigued by scenes where said character is tied up/in a forcibly submitted position and so on. Guess what, some of those scenes are made for fanservice even (and Sas has many of these, so if you don’t see the appeal/refuse to admit that there is appeal, it’s you who have a problem). So even tho I disagree with Kakashi not wanting to listen to Sasuke’s reasons for revenge (and later supporting SHikamaru’s, I replied to this in one of the asks I linked) I do find that scene interesting...I mean Sasuke tied up in a very suggestive way and yet defying him and threatening to kill his loved ones and Kakashi opening up in a very weird way vaguely replying that he lost those ppl already? It shows a lot about them, their personalities, everything.

I am sticking to part 1 because there are more meaningful interactions between them, I wished there were more in part 2 but kishi shifted Kakashi’s ‘interest’ to Nar, making him one of Nar’s followers...even so, the intractions they had were very interesting. Their fight after Sasuke fights Danzo is one of my fave moments in the whole story tbh, much more than the later confrontation with Nar. Kakashi for the first time has an inner only, yet strong, emotional reaction, having to fight and supposedly kill his former student who became a rogue with a death sentence on his head...he realizes this is how Hiruzen felt against Orochimaru. It’s a strong realization from someone like him who was always so closed off and aloof that he totally lacked empathy.

On the other hand Sasuke is in a different mindset. He’s sort of high for having succeeded in eliminating the one who made Itachi suffer so much, he’s thinking about killing the elders and destroy the village, so he’s basically lost in the recent past of Danzo’s death and in the future plans he’s making, he’s not in the present moment almost...but he has to fight anyway, and it’s a cool fight, also because he’s weakened already and Kakashi is strong...and then he gets blind, totally, and it’s an amazingly intriguing moment, the kind of controversial stuff I’m interested in, because that’s when he could be totally overpowered by Kakashi, if the story didn’t have other priorities (putting Nar in the center of attention with their confrontation).

Their later moments, like during the war, are meh cause the interest shifted already completely, but their moments in jail (anime only ofc) and their Shinden interactions (only through messages) are interesting to me. Very much so, because they show power dynamics very well, with Kakashi as THE authority and Sasuke as the one submitted. In jail it’s even more evident with him looking down at the younger tied up and blindfolded...like, wow. It’s like fanfiction material (in fact I wrote one (ff.net/a03) and there was the coolest fanart inspired by it! here..there were more but this came on my dash today so).

You mentioned power dynamics...their dynamics are all power dynamics because Kakashi was never at Sasuke’s same level and he never acted like he was, and when Sasuke was stronger, during the war, they basically didn’t interact, and when the war was over and Sasuke was brainwashed and tamed into submission the power dynamic remained the same.

The difference imo between them and other power dynamics based pairings is that they are closer than what could be defined rare pairings such as Obito (they had a very interesting one tho, if only it was developed), Madara (the story was already developed in a pro Konoha-anti Uchiha way but it would have been so cool to have the 2 Uchiha interact more), or other older and stronger characters, so the dynamic could be written in a cool way in a fanfiction but in canon Kakashi created it already. So, while I can imagine something like Shisui/Sasuke, Obisasu or more, in my head, and I can come up with some AU or canon divergent/canon behind the screen (like when Sas stayed with Obito after the transplant), Kakashi and Sasuke had canon interactions that showed power dynamics already.

(Then there is Itasasu, which is a huge power dynamic based relationship, that also had amazingly strong feelings though, and those who know me know that for me Itachi will always be Sasuke’s most loved person, and that he was the same for Itachi. So ofc imo IS is a much stronger bond compared to KS but still. Also I remember in the beginning how many fics I read where Itachi was abusive to Sas and Kakashi stepped in lol. And it’s not a mystery that even though I think the IS bond is the strongest I find other pairings and character dynamics very interesting, so much that I like to explore them even more than IS, which, imo, is almost a given fact so I don’t always feel the need to explore it)

Another thing I find intriguing is that Kakashi always saw Sas at his ‘worst’...in Konoha’s terms I mean. When he wanted revenge in pt 1, after he killed Danzo and he was weak and so desperate and hysterical that they thought he got crazy, when he was jailed. It’s a big power he has, to be able to see someone like this.

Tbh it’s a pity that there were no post war moments (B*ruto shit doesn’t count) where they interact ‘normally’ cause I would have liked to see them, both as normal interactions where they get closer again, now that Sas is older, where they train and they get physical (and Kakashi has a lot of repressed anger, jealousy and possessiveness to let out on the one who betrayed his sensei and went to another...not my opinion but it could be Kakashi’s pov) because I think power dynamic would come up a lot, even from apparently cute moments.

I’ll end this super long essay hoping that you didn’t fall asleep lol, and adding that Kakasasu was the first Nar pairing I shipped, which it speaks a lot about why I get so irritated when someone mentions it negatively.

[morkofday]

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi​ for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^ 

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite 

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business 

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist 

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas 

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling 

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other  

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*  

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground 

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea: 

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!” 

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge 

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes) 

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥

[vtforpedro]

health update - long post

hi everyone! I think it's been a month and a half or so since my last update I saw a rheumatologist, had MRIs done, and got my results back from my hematologist SO cancer: still undetectable in my blood, check every 3 months and hope it doesn't show up for a long time lol \o/ I don't think I can say I'm in remission until a certain amount of time has passed but I hope I can say that one day MRIs: actually show some possible improvement with the chiari and spinal fluid flow? and if there IS improvement (like the radiologist who wrote the report had the MRI from a year ago as reference and his findings were all 'normal' compared to april 2020, but it was hard to get an answer out of my neurologist and neurosurgeon if there was solid evidence of physical improvement). but yeah IF there's improvement, that is highly indicative of IIH because my neurosurgeon told me when people with IIH lose weight, the chiari often corrects itself because there's less pressure and more room in the skull for the cerebellar tonsils to be in a normal position. regular chiari that you're born with doesn't do that lol so if there IS improvement with weight loss, then yeah, IIH. even if they don't wanna put in the diagnostic code for it without a lumbar puncture sigh lol I hate typing this because I'm so paranoid it'll all go to shit if I talk about it, but there have been improvements as I've lost weight. I seem to have a couple weeks where my head isn't so severe, mostly manageable with a few awful days. then I'll have a few weeks of it being Really Really bad with a few not-so-awful days. which IIH can do this sort of 'remission' thing but considering it was like 24/7 with no breaks for a year I'd say this is moving in the direction I want it to completely changed my diet a handful of months ago and adjusting it still to be even healthier/more fulfilling. I started using the Noom app (paid sub version) cause it's so focused on psychology instead of 'dieting' and building habits that are sustainable in the long, long-term. I really love it so far. the routine of doing it at the same time every day has already made me feel better mentally about my weight loss journey despite my struggles with losing weight, I am officially down 20lbs \o/ they say for improving/curing IIH, you need to lose 10-20% of your body weight. well, 10% down! time to lose another 20, but I don't find it intimidating and I'm not dreading it. it's hard to have hope, especially on really bad weeks, but I'm taking it one day at a time. definitely not cured but I'm aiming for 40lbs more (so 60 altogether) and by then, maybe, just maybe.... rheumatologist/autoimmune disorder results: so I went to a rheum cause I got that positive autoimmune disorder blood test with the possibility of lupus or scleroderma. she said that she gets so many hematology patients because leukemia and lymphoma have blood antibodies, so it will almost always show up as positive on this antibody test and most people actually won't have an additional autoimmune disorder. I don't have a lot of symptoms of lupus or scleroderma according to her, so she told me don't worry about autoimmune disorders for three months. don't think about them. we'll repeat labs then and see what they say. so that's good news so far and I hope it remains that way 15%+ of the population will test positive on the same test without having any health issues, which I found interesting. and I asked since I already have an autoimmune disorder, tho it's endocrine versus rheumatic, if that would also trigger a positive result and she said yes it would! so yeah... I hope by late July I can still say I don't have an additional autoimmune disorder I see a gastroenterologist tomorrow for the bloating/abdominal pain and other stuff I've been having. I have a feeling I'll be given some antacids (or w/e they're called when it's prescription strength) and that will improve. but jfc I'm up to eight specialists now lol NINE doctors are following my health god it's such a shitty feeling especially when I can barely trust any of them. at

least they all believe me now, but it cost me my quality of life and mental health to even get to this point so I'm still feeling pretty fucking bitter and angry about it all you know what's really hard about completely changing my diet + starting new medications/supplements? for some reason at the beginning of all of this when I was experiencing repeated trauma at the ER, my brain developed a phobia of allergic reactions, despite the fact that I've never had one for food/medicine (I'm talking anaphylactic reactions). so now every single new thing I eat, every new med or supplement, I go through panic attacks for days on end thinking I'm going to die before it starts easing. also, anxiety makes your throat feel like it's closing up and that it's harder to breathe already so lmao fun times. I literally never thought about this in all my life and I never even experienced an allergic reaction to develop this intense fear, so you know. fuck doctors for putting me through this when it was all so unnecessary sigh anyway. still can't watch videos, tv, movies, read, bend over, walk for longer than 5 minutes, and can't talk for long either because it'll trigger a head episode. I'm terrified I won't be able to do these things ever again, but I'm still aiming for my goal weight no matter what and I know I can get there bouncing between misery and hopelessness, and slightly less misery and some hope right now, but I guess that's better than it's been for a year, right? sorry for rambling. I feel like a lot has gone on but I've also had the biggest gaps between doc appts in a while which is a relief just because I can't stand being in medical buildings or around doctors anymore completely vaccinated too, so that's another relief, but I'm wearing masks until americans get their heads out of their asses and we start seeing little to no community spread cause I am still immunocompromised. wouldn't it be nice if people like, idk, cared about each other ok sorry! I hope you're all well and healthy and safe. I love you very much and I'm grateful for your support, forever and always! <3

[gryffindorkxdraws]

Want to start off by saying that I love your mind! I was hoping to get your opinion on: what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?

EDIT: changed a few things ehe

ngl i found this challenging cus it made me think of how the answer would vary per person (yeah i went there idk why sdjkknds) so lemme get logical for a sec here haha

what exactly is the definition of “feel right”? 

to make someone feel relaxed and comfortable, as merriam-webster states

simple as that, right? but wait there’s more

what makes something/someone go under that category? 

now from there it expands because there are so many ways of answering that with everyone having different opinions and mindsets.

fair warning before we push on, this is going to get messy (like a word vomit) with how i’m just going to pour out everything i can think off, but just know i really like this question hence the, uh, mess? lmao

so back to your question, what is it in jackunzel that makes it feel so right?

in one POV, it could be because of how rapunzel and jack represent the sun and the moon respectively, making them two contrasting sides who shouldn’t collide and yet, against all odds and opposing forces that would come between them, they did. 

and we can bet on the fact that they fought hard/struggled for it, depending on how fanfic writers play with it (reminds of this sun/moon au that sold me to this trope lmao).

just because others said it’s impossible or it’s against whatever, why should they listen to the “norm?” what even is considered “normal,” when the two can explore so much more of what they could be missing from life after stepping out of others’ shadows?

i just love sun/moon dynamics. i’m obsessed lmao i read the ones below somewhere and idk where but it’s been living in my head rent free and i can’t escape it tho feel free to correct me about any of these symbol topic!

like the Sun, thoughtful and full of energy to share with everyone, is connected with one’s self and known to, yeah, radiate warmth or light. it also symbolizes firmness, strength and power. oh and life too i guess?

while the Moon, subtle but full of mysteries and wonders, can also get emotional and sway others to be more nurturing. cus like it also symbolizes calmness, beauty, and nurture. plus eternity and enlightenment?

the list goes on if we head into more of what it both symbolize, but when these two celestial bodies get together, masculine and feminine energies unite. the Sun gives out life, while the Moon cultivates it.

i have no idea where i’m going but moving on

maybe it’s that taste of rebellion with going against the authorities/society/rules/of what has always been set to find out who they’re meant to be or, y’know, finding their identity without the shackles of others (like jack learning he has the potential to be a guardian and embracing it in his own time, and rapunzel realizing she’s the lost princess and works hard to be a good one), 

or there’s something about the mystery that follows the other because they’ve never met anyone quite like them (like exploring a world they’ve never set foot on), 

or finding all the good and bad in each other and in their differences, but still loving the other for who they are, 

or what one lacks the other makes up for it and vice versa. with or without them realizing they can help each other grow to be a better version of themselves.

opposites attract who are bound to be full of surprises.

but on the contrary, they could also be two peas of a pod. aight this definitely goes against what i said above with all the opposites and stuff, but hear me out.

while they grew up and learned how to cope with life differently, they somehow still share the same sentiments when it comes to, for example, reaching their goals. 

they have their own way to go about it, sure, but my point is they can reach a common ground better together compared when they’re with others.

like rapunzel with the lanterns, and jack with his memories. at first, one hesitated and wavered, while the other disagreed and pulled away. it was only after they saw a chance/realized this was it that they agreed in a heartbeat

they ultimately made the choice of diving in head first regardless of their initial thoughts in the first place. kinda like the moment they realized they can be a step closer to what they’ve been yearning for their whole life 

bam, out of the way, they’re coming through lmao

not only that, but they can also be soft, gentle, understanding despite rapunzel’s spontaneuosness and jack’s mischievousness. we’ve seen them interacting with children and they’re so good at lifting their spirits up to have some fun and that there will always be a tomorrow.

and with their peers too. rapunzel lights up even the darkest of rooms, may it be like fireworks to bring joy or a campfire to warm one’s heart. jack meanwhile keeps things light when everyone else feels tense, easing others to relax and remember there’s always a way out

don’t forget the way they both sacrifice themselves for who they care for. like, they just do that, putting others first before them. that scene of saving eugene and baby tooth aaahhhhdjhdskdjkbkfjdkjf

and when everything comes crashing down and the world feels heavy on their shoulders, they both know they’re not alone with the other there for them.

maybe it’s the mutual understanding they have for each other after opening up, and finding a friend/partner/home through the connection they made together,

or they could be a push and pull that leads them to showing an unexpected side of the other, but in reality they always had it in them and all they needed was someone to show the way,

or how they complement each other, but they’re not two halves of a whole, no, rather they’re already whole themselves and they only reminded each other that they are,

or it’s simply because they don’t feel the need to put up walls or anything of the likes, because they know that no matter what they’ll be accepted for who they are.

opposites who have so much more in common than they originally thought

in another POV it could be because of how they give such partners in crime vibe. lowkey or highkey, take your pick. nothing would stop them from moving forward to a new tomorrow, or honestly whatever it is they put their minds to. 

and i am here for that

like i said in one of my posts, “They were a magnet for trouble, with the Sun being a free-spirited and vivacious fellow, and with the Moon’s knack for mischief and being a rebel without cause.” 

while both are adventurous, ready to explore whatever is out there, all the while just wanting to have some fun, they still balance each other out.

with jack usually ready to do what he needs/wants to do (which helps rapunzel to trust her gut and take the risk. that he’ll be there for her whenever she’s ready to step out of her comfort zone and jump away from her tower)

and with rapunzel knowing how to handle sticky situations properly (which reminds jack that not everything has to be done harshly and abruptly. that while freezing someone could be fun, it won’t solve things in the long run)

am i making sense? idek but you’re stuck with me lol but before i forget and i can’t believe i just remembered now. the way they can help fill in on what the other is missing 

rapunzel wants to see the world, what goes out there, with the people, society, and history i feel. and jack can take her to wherever she wants to go. hell, he’ll even surprise her and bring her to places he’d think she’ll like.

with his experiences, he’s bound to have an endless list of plans for them to go through and it’s no surprise that she’ll love it, and (him) his gesture, nonetheless

jack wants to be noticed by others, to be seen and heard for who he is. and rapunzel is such a welcoming person that she accepts him wholeheartedly. give him the love he was deprived of for years. 

reassure him that even he has a place to call home because why would he be excluded from that? he deserves it just as much as she and everyone else does

also i like to think they brainstorm ideas together

maybe it’s how they’re both game for an adventure, sudden or not, and this makes it easy for them to team up together and take on the world

or the feeling of familiarity as they click and everything flows naturally to them, where nothing is forced or uncomfortable between them

or how it’s like they can hold on to each other, knowing the other won’t let go no matter what because they’ll always have each other through the ups and downs

or it’s in their shared smiles, mischievous sparks in their eyes, moving together to the music of their synchronized heartbeats, as they step forward to the vast unknown

finding the ‘one’ who understands them inside out that they feel at home with them

i’ve said so many things and threw out so many brain rot, but what exactly is my final answer? 

it’s simple: who knows? now before you toss me aside, and i hope not lmao, lemme just say even with that kind of final verdict, you can still find beauty in it. 

you see, there’s so much more to explore and delve into with jackunzel because of their potential, that i don’t want to make a set answer for your question. i’d rather much help you, and anyone else wondering, to come to an answer yourself and maybe even share/discuss it with others.

i’m running out of brain juice, but i at least hope this helped satisfy your curiosity behind your question since this is all i can give… for now, maybe? who knows lmao 

tho i’ll be honest and admit i based these on how i feel about jackunzel. so if ever someone else out there wants to add more points they thought of, feel free to add on this

[iphoenixrising]

So. No lie buuuut wow. Your work is well done. What other aus would you tackle if you had the time?? Inquiring minds need to know babe.

Aw, thank-you so much babe! I’m glad you enjoy my works.

Hm, other aus I would tackle (like I for real don’t have enough already LOL) if I had the time and inclination? Welp, there are quite a few tbh. I’ll throw down some of them, but don’t expect to see these any time soon. I have so many half-ass docs I need to finish already, you know?

But here’s a few of them:

- Civilian CEO Au, in which Tim becomes the CEO of Drake Industries and realizes how shady the business practices are. His clean-up attempt means he makes multiple enemies and pretty much gets his ass in danger. Cue some very understanding vigilantes saving his bacon on multiple occasions. And why are the wards of Bruce Wayne showing a sudden interest in WE’s competitor?? (Eventual smut, identity porn, and angst are a must.)

- Alien!Tim Au: Crash landing on Earth, meeting the Teen Titans is more than Tim was hoping for when his ship started malfunctioning close to Earth’s orbit. Word around the galaxy is how bad ass the Justice League is, so most thought human kind is mostly super beings of immense power. Some cute discoveries (how had no one introduced him to pizza before? It’s odd looking but tasty), some crime fighting with alien tech, and learning how humans “make love” with the team captain, Robin! (This one might be fun to do a one-shot or something some day)

- Self-Indulgent Identity Porn Au: what if Tim Drake took it upon himself to find people to train him so he could become a vigilante like Batman and Robin? A world where Tim didn’t go to Dick or Bruce to become a vigilante, but still gets training so he can try to stop Batman from destroying himself after the death of his second Robin. “Batman needs a Robin,” the masked kid tells him softly, “and I’m sorry I can’t be that for you. But what I can do is help you stop destroying yourself. I can help you save Gotham if you let me.” “I can’t have another kid’s death on my hands,” the exhausted vigilante sounds broken, gloved hands lying limp by his sides while the kid is bandaging the bleeding wounds in his abdomen. “Whatever happens is on my head, not yours. I know your Robin died, but I’m sure as hell not him.” What Batman doesn’t know about Sparrow? He’s literally the kid next door.  (I just want to write an au where Tim takes his vigilante career in his own hands, and gets attention from villains and heroes alike when he’s training to become an associate of the Batman.)

- Talon!Tim au: I know, I KNOW. I’ve written short things about Tim taken by the Court of Owls to become the next Talon when the Court failed to get Dick, but I’d really like to explore this idea more. The aftermath after he breaks the Court’s brainwashing more specifically. How does he find a new normal after everything he’s been through?  - Irresistible Omega Tim: Also something I’ve kind of explored when babes brought this up in Asks. I did a post about babe’s idea of Tim holding down Gotham after B gets lost in time here, but I’d really like to take something like this and make it about Dick and Dami coming back to Gotham after some hard talks and soul-searching (basically Dick refusing to let Dami go back to the League of Assassins, dragging him back to Gotham with the argument that Dami would be dishonoring Bruce’s memory and etc.) to find Tim exhausted and beat the hell up after weeks of patrolling on his own.  Not to mention Tim presented while they were gone, so now there’s that.  I want Tim to have a relationship with young Dami that’s positive, with an understanding Tim since he knows Dami’s an abused kid with a horrific background, and Dami doesn’t know what to do with Omega coddling (eventually he sinks into it tho) and Pack Alpha Dick fairly salivating to take care of their Pack Omega. Jay, Cass, and Steph wander in once Tim presents because Omega are the glue of the Pack, and just! Baddies taking an interest in Robin even though he wears scent blockers and suppressants and everything, but Smut, discovery, family, and supportive everyone ever.  The fandom damn well needs this. - Yet another idea for irresistible Tim: What if! Babes, what if, Tim presented during that reunion with Kon after he came back from the dead and B was still lost in time? When Tim called him “Clone Boy” and took off the cowl. Just WHAT IF HE PRESENTED RIGHT THEN? What if Kon, an Alpha because Lex wanted an Alpha heir or whatever, could literally scent the stress and strain on Tim the moment the cowl comes off, can tell everything about Tim’s mental state right at that moment because he’s one of the few people Tim implicitly trusts, is dying inside because he knows he won’t be able to sway Tim away from “the Mission” unless his bestie is literally bleeding out... until Tim starts sweating and swaying, eyes going dazed, scent getting...sweeter? (Ugh, this Tim so battered and beaten down after all the fuckery with Ra’s and losing his spleen, and broken by losing his place as Robin, and just when he’s ready to throw in the towel, when he’s so fucking broken, he fucking presents. After pretty much figuring he’d be just a Beta, no, no, he’s a rare male Omega. A male Omega that smells like everything any Alpha could ever want. Tim glances up when he feels hot all over, even with the cold air on the rooftop passing over them, sees the way Kon’s pupils dilate.  “Kon?” “I need you to come with me,” is abruptly out of his best friend’s mouth, “you’re going to take a break from this Batman hunt and come with me, T.” “Wh-What?” “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you, promise.”

So. SO yeah. Those are a few :D