#worked a lot on this i hope it wont flop B)

[kimeoshi]

'Ideal Justice' of Khaenri'ah

[soulwillower]

sketches • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader)

requested: Hello! Can I request just some teen!Bill x reader fluff? Maybe where the reader finds sketches of her from Bill’s sketchbook/pad and then she falls in love with Bill, then Richie accidentally said something about Bill having a crush on her cause the trashmouth thought she already knew then after the reader found out, they talk and the reader confesses as well and it’s all fluffy and cute? I don’t know! I hope you get the idea though (ᵔᴥᵔ)

warning: swearing, fluff, unedited :)

[losers + reader are 16+ in this.]

1.7k words

♡

"can we shut some windows? it's getting cold." you ask your friends, rubbing your arms as goosebumps appear. mumbles of protest echo through the room and you scowl as their eyes all stay glued to the tv where eddie and ben battle out on smash bros. 

"fine. can i borrow a sweater then, bill?" you ask, standing up. bill nods, his eyes flickering to you to smile briefly.

 you smile back at him before getting up, making your way towards bill's room.

once you're inside, you flip on his lamp and snort. his room has always made you laugh - it's slightly messy, in a way that he's not ashamed of, and there's posters, pictures and a baseball bat in the corner. 

his sheets are strewn about, half of it on his bed and half covering an upturned skateboard on the ground. you roll your eyes, chuckling. bill's a fucking mess. 

your eyes land on an open sketchbook on his desk, pencils, pens, and paintbrushes covering it.

curiously, you walk over to look at it. you smile gently at the sketch of georgie holding up a dandelion, and you start to skim the pages. there's bev and mike on one page, richie and you on the next - that one makes you blush. the next page has eddie and richie smiling at each other. it makes you happy. 

then your heart stops as you look at the page next to it. you stare at yourself, drawn and shaded with layers of charcoal. it looks exactly like you. 

your heart does somersaults as your eyes trace the page and you flip the next few pages gently. bill drew you... so many times. they were meticulous, careful, and beautiful, like he'd spent hours pouring in as much dedication as he could.

your own eyes stare back at you from the pages and for the first time in a really long time you felt seen in a way you never knew you needed. realization hits you hard and your heart thumps, a smile growing on your face.

you love bill.

you love him - the boy with the auburn hair, the green eyes, the boyish grin, the bubbling laughter, the beat up vans, the flannels and crewneck sweaters. the boy who spends hours making sure you and your friends were okay, who stutters through every joke and also every inspirational speech, the boy who failed geometry because he kept ditching to go bird watch with stan or help mike with his chores on the farm. the boy who makes everybody he meets feel loved, feel important and feel needed. the boy who draws all of his friends with so much skill and passion. you can't help but bite your lip happily as you think about him.

of course you all held bill on a glimmering pedestal -  it was completely dignified. because bill is so incredible, so perfectly flawed and so real that it was almost impossible not to fall in love with him. 

everybody falls in love with bill denbrough.

"-that doesn't look like a sweatshirt." a voice comes from the doorway and you turn to look at richie, giving him a sheepish grin. your heart is still racing as you realize that you're in love with bill ... and that you have been for so long.

does he know?

"um, have you- er, have you ever seen this? he draws us." you say, gesturing to his notebook. richie nods his head, walking closer to the notebook casually. his eyes land on the open sketchbook and he smiles gently as he skims over the pages. there's eddie and richie on the left, laughing. it makes your heart swell. and on the right is the sketch of you, much more in detail.

"of course i have, y/n/n. he's been doing this for years, you know." he states simply, walking to the closet and pulling off a sweater, tossing it to you with a pointed look. 

you're still pretty dumbfounded as your eyes flit to the sketchbook. you smile, shaking your head as butterflies burst. "oh, well he never showed me. he's... he's done a lot of them." you say, flipping through the pages.

"um, yeah, duh. he has the hots for you, of course he draws you all the time." richie says casually, fingers skimming the light drawing of eddie's smiling face.

 your eyebrows furrow and you look up at him. some sort of heat pools in your stomach at his words, and you blink owlishly. you clear your throat and follow richie out of the room, face bright red as you walk down the stairs together.

"what took you two so long?" stan asks as you walk back in. you smile to your shoes as you pull on the sweater. richie flops onto the couch and mutters, "little miss snoop found big billy's sketchbook."

"y-you did?" bill asks, looking into your eyes. you can't help the blush that creeps onto your face as his eyes catch yours. he doesn't look phased that you saw his work except that his cheeks are dusted pink. 

"they're beautiful, bill." you say shyly. he shrugs. "it's e-easy when you have b-beautiful subjects." he mutters. 

it's so casual, the way he says it, and yet your whole body melts. you're so in love. everyone shares a look and you feel butterflies in the pit of your stomach. 

richie grins, "very smooth denbrough. we get it, you're in love." he says. at those words, it goes silent and everyone turns to stare at richie. 

your eyes widen and everyone else stares at him, mouths agape. 

he blinks, "oh, did- c'mon, don't act like we don't all know. right, guys?" he says in defense, gesturing to eddie and ben for help. they don't say anything, and bill chuckles awkwardly at the silence. 

it's quiet as bill mutters, "b-beep beep, trashmouth." he's shooting daggers at the boy. despite the tense situation, you smile to the ground - did bill really like you? him?

"lay off him, richie. i saw the way you were looking at that drawing of eddie." you say, lifting a brow. richie scowls, face turning red. eddie's face does the same, and bill shoots you a thankful glance. you smile back, heart beating quickly. you turn, muttering about going to get a drink.

you walk into the kitchen and you're not surprised when you hear that someone followed you. there's only one person who you really hope to talk to right now - and you're relieved as you turn around to find him watching you. 

you smile gently at him as he rubs his neck sheepishly, walking closer to you. "i h-hope the drawings didn't f-freak you out." he says with a small grin. you smile, shaking your head as you lean on the counter and look up at him.

"bill, c'mon. you're so talented. those were incredible...i'm flattered." you say, cheeks heating up. he smiles bashfully and shrugs.

"s-sorry about r-richie." he says after a moment. you laugh lightly, trying to calm your own heart from bursting from your chest. "he doesn't know what he's saying." you mutter shyly, shrugging. bill laughs lightly though, making you look at him curiously. 

he’s shaking his head, "no, h-he's p-pretty accurate." he says, a smile on his face. you watch him closely, "i... i'm in l-love with you." bill ads.

you gape at him, heart swelling but unable to move. he watches you, green eyes flickering between yours, trying desperately to read you. he's patient, though, and doesn't try to take it back. because it's bill. 

no matter what, he's said what he means and he wont take it back, even if you don't feel the same way. because he just wants you to know you're loved.

 holy shit, you're so in love with him.

"wh- are you really?" you ask dumbly. you can't feel your fingers or toes. he nods, a soft smile on his face as he chuckles, "y-yeah. really."

you nod, a smile of your own eclipsing your face. you feel like it might split your face in half. 

he shrugs at you with a smile. "i-i mean, i n-never came out and s-said it, so i guess that's m-my fault." he grins, "b-but its not l-like i had to. it's v-very obvious that i l-love you, y/n. you're j-just blind." he teases. you scrunch your nose at him although his words give you butterflies.

"oh shut up, bill." you say with a laugh, punching his shoulder. he laughs at your reaction, steadying himself by grabbing your waist lightly. he smiles down at you lovingly, sighing.

"bill..." you say softly, grinning at him. his cheeks are pink as he waits for you to say those words. 

you laugh a little, smiling so widely. "i love you too." you say.

"i kn-know. you're pretty o-obvious too, y/n." bill says with a smirk. you roll your eyes as you place a hand on his shoulder, the two of you leaning on the counter. you pinch him, "then why didn't you say anything!?" you hiss, heart swelling.

"i j-just didn't know h-how!" he defends. you shake your head, scoffing. "whatever, denbrough. i can't believe you." you mutter. his fingers gently reach to clutch your chin, tilting it up to him.

he looks into your eyes and your heart melts, eyes flickering to his pink ones. he's smirking gently. "in m-my defense, you didn't say a-anything, either."

he leans closer and your breath hitches while you wait for him to move. 

and then, you smile impatiently as you close the gap. his lips press against yours and your heart feels full as his body forms against you. he's soft, gentle, and passionate as he pulls you closer, tongue lightly grazing your bottom lip. it's quiet as the two of you kiss, the only sounds being your soft breathing and the sound of your lips moving together.

you pull away though as you realize... it's too quiet. 

he looks at you in question and you peek over his shoulder, groaning lightly as you meet six pairs of eyes in the doorway. "guys!" you hiss in embarrassment. bill turns to look at the others, a confident grin on his face. they all start squealing and yelling in excitement. 

"sh-she's in love with me, g-guys!" bill calls, pointing to you in his arms. you shove him with a laugh as the others cheer. he laughs and shrugs at you.

"you're unbelievable, you know." you mumble, nudging his arm. he chuckles lightly, wrapping his arms around you and placing his chin on the crown of your head. you sigh as you inhale his scent, smiling into the fabric of his sweatshirt.

[my-creative-hell]

Deviation (DBH au)

The evening is quiet and tame as Grave works on her new weapon, the slight light from the fading sun illuminating her workspace as she fiddles with her creation.

“Shit…” Pausing her work for a moment, Grave’s eyes wander down towards her hands, and the many small wounds that reside, sliced into her flesh as she had worked, too absorbed in her creation to notice them. Frowning, Grave pulls over some band-aids, carefully applying them to the small cuts littered over her hands.

As she works on applying them, a faint knocking sound comes from the front door to her house, confusion Grave as she shifts her gaze to the door. Not many people would ever come to her house, and especially not at night, making Grave apprehensive as she moves towards the door.

“Hello?” Peering through the peephole, Grave apprehensively greets whoever is behind the door, finding herself face to face with two androids.

“Hello! Are you by any chance Miss Grave?” The shorter of the two androids questions, its voice light as they both stand still, their uniforms perfectly worn as they smile.

“Uh… yeah. Why are you asking?” Grave questions, frowning in confusion as she glows softly, unsure of the situation as the taller android opens their mouth.

“Its nice to meet you. We are your personally assigned androids, designed to assist with everyday tasks around your home.” The taller android explains, a gentle smile pulling at their face as they speak.

“I… that’s nice but w h e r e did you even come from???” Feeling more and more confused as the situation progresses, Grave questions the androids on their origin, wanting answers. They were unlike any model she had seen before, the smaller’s black hair tied up neatly, tiny freckles adorning its face. The taller android had warm skin and curled hair, which had been pulled away from its face, warm freckles littering its cheeks and skin delicately, its eyes slightly different shades of blue.

“We were purchases and written into your ownership by a woman who states she is your mother.” The taller android explains, voice soft and flowy as they speak.

“Greaaat…” Grave sighs, leaning her head against the door as the sarcastic tone rolls off of her tongue. “You can come inside…” She continues, unlocking and opening the door for the androids, unable to suppress all the anger she feels out of her voice.

“Thank you for accepting us into your home. I am the prototype model SC800 but my given name is Scarlet.” The smaller android explains, their LED flickering yellow for a moment before switching back to blue as they enter Grave’s house.

“That’s… t-that’s rad, I guess.” Grave comments, sighing softly as she forces a smile, though it doesn’t touch her face, her eyes remaining dull as she speaks.

“And I am a prototype model RO800 but my name is Rose.” The taller android explains, both androids choosing not to comment on Grave’s strange display of behaviour, thinking better of it.

“Great! Um… I-I gotta go finish a thing.” Grave explains, tapping her feet nervously as she backs away from the two androids, walking quickly to her lab in an effort to get as far away from them as possible.

Watching her leave, the two androids LED’s flicker for a moment, though they let Grave go, able to sense the discomfort coming from her as they move away from the front door, further into the house.

“Hhh what the f u c k, mom?” Entering her lab, Grave leans herself against the wall as she whispers, feeling confused and panicked by the strange situation she now found herself in.

“Y’know what? This is fine! Its great and awesome and not shitty at all.” Grave tries to convince herself, though her voice falls flat. “I love this…” She continues, returning to working on her weapon as the house around her falls quiet, the androids staying silent in the other room as Grave begins to paint the weapon, settling down slightly. But it doesn’t last, Grave’s phone lighting up with a call, making her frown as she picks it up.

“Hello?” Grave questions, her voice sounding frustrated as she holds the phone to her ear.

“Did you get what I sent?” The voice of her mother floods through the phone, sounding as dull and cold as it always had.

“No.” Grave answers swiftly, hanging up the phone as she returns to working on her weapon, not wanting to deal with her mother. But the phone rings again, the noise cutting into Grave as she attempts to ignore it and continue her work. But it keeps ringing, her mother clearly not giving up, making Grave frown as she relents, answering it silently, not wanting to say anything.

“There was no fucking reason to be a brat Grave, I was asking a simple question.” Her mother scolds her, sounding pissed off as Grave rolls her eyes.

“Sorry. Yes, I did get what you sent me. Thank you.” Grave thanks her mother, but the words sound fake and forced as her mother huffs.

“Whats wrong with them? Thought you loved all that technology shit? Prototypes like them should be a must have for you.” Her mother argues, Grave trying to keep herself composed.

“Nothings wrong with them! I love them a lot!” She lies, taking a deep breath as her mother scoffs, clearly not convinced.

“Don’t bullshit me. Like them or not, they’re assigned to you now. They wont do anything you don’t tell them to.” Her mother explains, sounding harsh in her ears.

“Thanks for telling me shit I already know, byeeee!” Grave exclaims, hanging up the phone, which remains silent now as she lets out a long sigh, one of the androids knocking on her door quietly.

“You can come in…” Grave explains, placing her head down on her table as she glows in frustration.

“…I noticed you were experiencing some discomfort when talking to your parental figure, so I thought I might bring you a drink of coffee.” Scarlet explains, entering the room quietly.

“Why the hell were you even listening? Its none of your business.” Grave chastises the android, curling into herself angrily as the android flinches, its LED spinning red for a moment before returning.

“I… apologise Miss Grave. I wont intrude on your privacy in such a manner again.” Scarlet explains, keeping their voice calm as Grave sighs.

“Its fine, just go.” Grave explains, forcing another smile as she tries to keep herself calm.

A small and forced smile on their face, Scarlet sets down the coffee as they leave, closing the door behind them. Sighing, Grave looks at the coffee, taking a small sip as she resumes her work, the house falling silent around her.

Buzzing softly, Grave continues her work, almost finished as the androids move around faintly in the other rooms, finding tasks to occupy themselves with as they keep away from Grave.

“Yay…” Finishing the weapon, Grave lays her head back down on the table as she listens, the house still quiet around her as he androids keep their distance. Finding the silence weird, Grave frowns as she gets up.

“Sorry…” Grave apologises, opening the door quietly as the androids turn to look at her, Scarlet’s LED flickering yellow for a moment.

“If you’re worried you might have hurt my feelings Miss Grave, I am an android, so you needn’t worry.” Scarlet explains, smiling in a reassuring manner.

“But… that was still shitty, you were only trying to help.” Grave explains, frowning more as she glows softly. “And you can call me Grave, no need to be all formal.” She continues.

“We are designed to handle criticism to improve our standard of work, you wont offend us with how you speak.” Rose explains, stepping forward slightly. “And we will keep in mind your preferences, Grave.” They continue, smiling kindly.

“I-…thank you… I think?” Grave responds, trying to smile as she glows softly, still feeling weird around the two androids.

“I hope you don’t mind, but we both rook rudimentary scans when we first entered, and it appears you haven’t slept in quite a while…” Rose explains, a small smile on her face as she speaks.

“Whaaat? I sleep normally! I slept for twelve hours yesterday and I feel g r e a t.” Grave tries to argue, though its obvious to the androids that she isn’t telling the truth.

“Your heart rate is elevated, which tells us you are lying. You are clearly overtired and some sleep would do you good.” Rose explains, a delicate frown crossing their face.

“But I’m a genius! Geniuses don’t need sleep, only energy drinks and loud noises.” Grave argues, though it doesn’t seem to be getting through to the androids, Rose’s LED flickering as they think of a solution.

“Would you be willing to sleep if we got some more equipment for your next work piece?” They question, trying to strike a compromise.

“…Fine.” Grave relents, her voice growing soft as she looks away, huffing in frustration, not really wanting to go to sleep.

“If you have issues with sleeping, we are designed to be able to assist if needed.” Scarlet explains, tilting their head as the examine Grave.

“No, i-its fine. I can sleep very well.” Grave lies, a more genuine smile appearing on her face as she starts to walk up to her room.

“We will be down here if you change your mind.” Rose explains quietly, both of the androids frowning, though they don’t try and push the subject any further.

“Thanks…” A real smile appearing on hr face, Grave enters her room quietly, flopping onto her bed as the androids remain quiet downstairs, not wanting to disturb her.

Curling herself into a ball, Grave closes her eyes tightly, buzzing softly to fill the silence around her as the androids move quietly downstairs, idly cleaning up any messes left around them.

Hiding herself underneath the covers of her bed, Grave hopes the warmth might assist her in falling asleep, though it doesn’t seem like it as the silence of the house echoes inside her mind uncomfortably. Frowning, Grave pulls herself out of bed.

“Okay, so maybe, just m a y b e, I can’t sleep.” She admits, opening the door to her room as the two androids look up at her.

“Would you like some assistance?” Scarlet questions, smiling sweetly as she speaks, her voice soft and calm.

“Yeah, t-that sounds really nice.” Grave agrees, nodding as a small smile appears on her face, Scarlet and Rose smiling sweetly as they move upstairs to be with her.

“T-Thank you.” Grave gives her thanks, fiddling with her hands as she sits down on her bed, wiggling absentmindedly.

“How are you in terms of physical affection?” Rose questions, sitting down beside Grave gently.

“I…I have forgotten what it feels like.” Grave explains, smiling despite the seriousness of her statement. Frowning, Scarlet joins them both on the bed as Rose pulls Grave onto her lap gently.

“Please feel free to tell me if you are uncomfortable.” Rose explains, gently encasing Grave in a hug.

Gasping softly, small tears form in Grave’s eyes at the soft touch, which is new to her as Rose hugs her gently, Scarlet scooting closer as she strokes Grave’s hair in a soothing manner.

Her tears slipping down her cheeks, Grave closes her eyes as she leans into the touch, Rose gently wiping her tears from her face as the two androids snuggle closer, making Grave more comfortable.

Starting to feel sleepy, Grave curls up comfortably in Rose’s lap as she continues to hug her, Scarlet running her hands through her hair softly in a calming manner.

Feeling close to falling asleep, Grave smiles at the comforting touch, having not felt like this for years. Scarlet smiles as she strokes her hair, Rose heating her body up slightly to keep Grave enveloped in warmth.

Humming softly, Grave allows herself to drift off in Rose’s arms, feeling safe and content for the first time in a while.

 Having slept through the night, the only thing to stir Grave the following day is the pale light shining through the curtains, the covers of the bed tucked comfortably around Grave as she dozes comfortably.

Curling up in the bed, Grave smiles as she realises how comfy it truly is, the room around her devoid of the androids, who had tucked her in bed once she had fallen asleep the previous night.

Yawning, Grave frowns as she examines the room, noticing the lack of androids as she snuggles in her bed, feeling comfortable. Though she doesn’t have to worry long, the door downstairs quietly shutting, indicating the arrival of aforementioned androids into the home once again.

Hiding under the covers of her bed, a small noise of happiness comes from Grave as she glows, able to hear Scarlet and Rose shuffling around downstairs as they move around.

Thinking, Grave debates with herself about whether to get up out of bed for the equipment, or whether to stay bundled up in her covers comfortably, able to hear Scarlet and Rose moving and mumbling to one another downstairs.

“Mmm…” Rolling out of her bed, Grave hits the floor gently as she falls out of the comfortable covers, the noise downstairs stopping as the androids presumably hear her, some small shifting sounds coming from her lab area.

Slowly pulling herself off of the floor, Grave moves to the door of her room, pulling it open as she descends down the stairs slowly, still feeling slightly sleepy. As she moves, she can see that the door of her lab is open, Scarlet and Rose having left her new equipment in there for her.

Bouncing excitedly, Grave moves into the lab quietly, able to see a bunch of equipment laid out on the work surfaces for her, though a small percentage of it seems to be splattered with a blue liquid.

“What the hell?” Feeling confused, Grave looks at the liquid in confusion, her voice quiet as she examines it closely, able to identify it as an androids blue blood.

Frowning, Grave feels the concern rising inside of her as she leaves the lab, moving into the living room where Scarlet and Rose sit, facing away from Grave.

“Alright, what happened?” Grave questions, sighing softly in concern as she keeps her voice as calm as possible.

“We got into a small… altercation with some humans. You needn’t worry.” Rose explains, both of them jumping slightly at Grave’s voice, though they don’t turn to face her.

“I d o need to worry, you don’t deserve that shit.” Grave argues, frowning as she glows softly, feeling worried as Scarlet huffs softly, turning to reveal a cut spanning her cheek, leaking thirium down her face.

Frowning more, Grave glows brighter as she leans forward, pressing a kiss to the damaged area of Scarlet’s face in the hopes of fixing it.

“What are you doing?” Rose questions, standing up as Scarlet winces in pain, a cut of her own slicing across her nose harshly.

“I’m just healing her, that’s all.” Grave explains, her frown lessening slightly as she taps her feet against the floor.

“We’re androids, we cant be healed like that.” Rose explains, sighing quietly. “We would have to be fixed.” She continues quietly.

“Oh… sorry.” Grave apologises, looking down at her hands as the frown on her face deepens, making her fiddle nervously with her fingers.

“You could potentially fix us if you wished to, its not much more than soldering the damage shut.” Scarlet explains, flinching slightly as the pain continues to radiate out from her wound.

“True…” Standing up, Grave walks quickly into her lab, Scarlet and Rose following her quietly, sitting down to allow her easy access to the damaged areas of their faces.

“Hey, um… can I ask you something?” Grave requests, looking to Scarlet as her soldering iron begins to heat up.

“Of course.” Scarlet responds quickly, her gaze flicking upwards to lock with Grave’s as she speaks.

“Why do you feel pain? A-And what happened?” Grave questions softly, buzzing as Rose sighs.

“We ran into an anti android protest on our way back. They didn’t like us very much so they pushed us around a little.” Rose explains, answering half of the question for Grave.

“One of our prototype functions is to imitate human behaviour, like sleeping and pain. Rose was able to turn hers off but… mines glitched.” Scarlet explains, a gentle frown creasing her features.

“Shit… I-I’m sorry.” Grave apologises, feeling concerned for Scarlet as anger at the ones who did this rises inside her.

“Its not a problem. I would only have to return to Cyberlife and be reset.” Scarlet explains, a false smile appearing on her face.

“Wouldn’t you lose your memory though?” Grave questions, beginning to close up the damaged area of Scarlet’s face with the soldering iron as she taps her feet quietly.

“I suppose, but I haven’t exactly been providing the best support anyway. Perhaps you would benefit from a new version of me.” Scarlet explains, wincing slightly as she soldering iron touches her face.

“I like this you… a-any version of you is nice!” Grave explains, her voice growing softer as a gentle blue tones blush appears on Scarlet’s face.

“Well thank you, that admittedly wasn’t what I was expecting.” She explains, smiling genuinely.

“You’re welcome, Scarlet!” Grave exclaims, smiling as she finishes sealing up the damage on her face, watching Scarlet grin as she gently touches the fixed area, which now looks like a scar.

“It time!” Wiggling, Grave moves over to Rose, watching her smile as she shifts, allowing Grave access to her face.

“Sorry for causing trouble.” Rose apologises quietly, though Grave stops her immediately.

“Don’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong!” Grave explains, glowing softly as she begins to close up the damage on Rose’s face.

“We can’t fight against humans so our only choice was to let them hit us.” Rose continues, shrugging her shoulder nonchalantly.

“Why not?” Graver questions curiously, buzzing softly as she feels more and more worried for the androids before her.

“We’re androids, it’s a violation of our programming. We could get deactivated permanently.” Rose explains, smiling softly.

“That’s fucking bullshit. You should be able to fight if anybody puts their hands on you.” Grave argues, her forehead creasing as he frown deepens more.

“That would be a thought. But we aren’t alive, so we don’t count.” Giggling, Rose continues the conversation, explaining the rules to Grave expertly.

“But…” Her voice trailing off, Grave mumbles something under her breath as she finishes fixing the damage on Rose’s face, looking down at her hands as she pulls the soldering iron away.

“I’m sorry, we didn’t quite get that last part.” Scarlet admits, tilting her head in a curious manner as she watches Grave.

“You are alive, but everyone says you’re not.” Grave explains, her voice quiet as she explains.

“You really think that?” Rose questions quietly, both of them looking at Grave in muted surprise.

“Of course I do!” Grave exclaims, smiling gently as Scarlet and Rose’s faces soften into a happy expression, their LED’s a comfortable and happy blue.

“Um… do you want me to make something for you? As a thanks for getting me stuff.” Grave offers softly, blushing.

“Well, we’ve never really owned anything before…” Scarlet explains, a soft blue tinted blush covering hers and Rose’s face as she speaks.

“Well that sucks ass…” Grave comments, frowning. “I can change that though!” She exclaims, smiling as she begins to set up her equipment.

“That sounds nice.” Laughing, Rose smiles sweetly as they both watch Grave set up curiously.

“What kinds of things do you like?” Grave questions, glowing softly as she tries to think of ideas.

“We aren’t sure, we’ve never been asked that question before.” Scarlet explains, shrugging as they try to come up with something.

“Right, um…” Grave thinks quickly, coming up with a potential solution. “Okay, what if I showed you some things and you tell me what you like the most?” She offers, Scarlet and Rose nodding as they think it over.

Squeaking, Grave starts to grab some things she has made as Scarlet and Rose watch her, feeling curious as they follow her with their eyes.

“It’s a o r b, but cooler.” Grave explains, putting her equipment down as she grabs one of her creations.

“That’s very cool.” Rose comments, smiling brightly. “It sort of reminds me of space.” She continues.

“Space?” Grave questions putting down the orb as she glows softly, watching Rose nod in response.

“Mhm, there’s a lot of fascinating information about space that I’ve found quite interesting.” She explains, smiling.

“Fuck yeah! That’s one thing, do you like anything else?” Grave questions, smiling bright as she bounces.

“I suppose I was interested by some of the light displays we saw while collecting your equipment.” Rose explains, thinking.

“Oh! Can you show them to me please?” Grave questions, tapping her fingers on the table in front of her excitedly as Rose blushes, pulling up some images of pretty twinkling lights that had caught her eye.

“Woah…” Glowing softly, Grave looks at the images Rose holds in her hands. “I’m gonna make the thing!!!” She exclaims, giggling softly.

“O-Okay.” Rose agrees, her face flushing a deeper shade of blue as she watches Grave move.

“What about y o u. what do you like, hm?” Grave questions, turning to face Scarlet as she tries to make her voice sound fancy, finding it funny as Scarlet blushes, looking at the floor.

“She was looking at a lot of clothing while we were out. Seemed to take a liking to the fluffier things.” Rose explains, answering for Scarlet.

“Okay, I have like n o idea how to make clothes, b u t I will buy you some!” Grave explains, smiling as she thinks it through, watching Scarlet’s face light up in a blush as she smiles.

“I’m gonna go buy them now! Do you wanna come with me or nah?” Grave offers, wiggling excitedly.

“Would you like us to come with you?” Scarlet questions, her voice quiet as she watches Grave.

“Of course I do!” Grave exclaims, nodding as a small blush works its way across her face.

“Then I’m happy to come with you.” Scarlet answers, smiling sweetly as she speaks.

“Fuck yeah!” Squeaking, Grave opens the door to her lab to let them all out. “C’mon, we’re gonna buy stuff and fuck shit up!” She exclaims, Scarlet giggling as her and Rose follow closely behind her.

“Here you go!” Grave exclaims, handing them both jackets as she smiles, Rose seeming confused.

“You want us to wear jackets?” She questions, watching Grave nod in response as she glows softly.

“Yeah, its kinda cold so you’re gonna need them.” Grave explains, Scarlet obediently putting hers on as Rose follows suit, both of them blushing softly.

“You ready?” Grave questions, smiling in excitement as Rose and Scarlet nod, Scarlet looking exceedingly ready as she bounces on the spot happily. Moving outside her house, Grave clips through the door of her car.

“Oh wait…” Realising, she unlocks the car for Scarlet and Rose, able to hear them giggle as they get inside to be with her.

“Do you wanna listen to some music?” Grave offers, pulling her car out as she starts to drive.

“It could be interesting to hear some music!” Scarlet admits, smiling as she and Rose buckle themselves in.

“Ya like j a z z?” Grave jokes, turning on some soft jazz as she drives, giggling at her own joke as Rose snorts, listening to the music happily.

Humming softly, Grave taps her fingers against the wheel as she drives, her thoughts running rampant in her mind as Scarlet watches the world fly by outside the window, curious at all the little details.

Speeding up slightly, Grave feels her excitement increase as they get closer, glowing as Rose smiles at her, enjoying the music.

Wiggling, Grave gets more excited as they get closer, Rose giggling as Scarlet bounces in her seat happily.

“We here!!!” Grave exclaims, smiling as she parks the car in a space happily as the mall appears ahead of the,

“This looks nice!” Rose comments, smiling as Scarlet calms down, her bouncing ceasing.

“It does! Kinda fancy looking too!” Grave exclaims, exiting her car as Rose and Scarlet follow behind her, composing themselves as they prepare to go inside, not wanting to tip people off.

“There’s s t u f f.” Grave explains, smiling as she walks into the store, Scarlet following her excitedly as she and Rose walk in with her.

Holding onto Scarlet’s hand gently, Grave begins to look around as Scarlet blushes, trying to compose herself as they wander around the shop together, Rose walking beside them happily.

“Do you like cats?” Grave questions, spying a sweater with cats covering it as she looks back to Scarlet.

“I think they’re very cute creatures.” Scarlet explains, smiling brightly as she answers Grave’s question.

“Good!!” Picking up the cat sweater, Grave continues to look around as Scarlet smiles, Rose gently patting her head as they follow Grave.

“Do you think soft knives are a real thing?” Grave questions, smiling as she glows, wandering around the store.

“I’m not certain of that.” Rose admits, giggling softly as she shrugs, following Grave absentmindedly.

“I could probably make one. Someone pulls a knife on you and you think ‘Oh no, I’m gonna die!’ but instead its softness on a stick.” Grave explains her idea, giggling more.

“That’s a cool idea!” Scarlet exclaims quietly, a small laugh escaping her as she wanders around.

“Y’know what? I a m gonna make it. You can gently stab people now!” Grave exclaims, loving her new idea.

“I think that will be very interesting to watch.” Rose comments, smiling brightly as she focuses her gaze onto Grave.

“It’s a good prop to use for a play or something! Or maybe just to confuse people when you cut stuff.” Grave continues.

“I think both works well.” Rose comments, smiling as Scarlet looks around the shop curiously, taking everything in.

“Y e s.” Feeling excited, Grave notices a hoodie with a creeper on it, making Scarlet giggle as she watches her.

“I might just buy all the hoodies in the store for you, I dunno yet.” Grave explains, blushing softly as she picks up a couple of hoodies for Scarlet.

“I don’t want you to waste too much on me!” Scarlet exclaims, blushing as Rose giggles, finding them both cute.

“Its not wasting and I w a n t to but I c a n ‘ t.” Grave explains, her heart thrumming happily in her chest as Scarlet blushes bright blue, hiding her face in Rose.

“Sorry…” Grave giggles, apologising, though she doesn’t feel sorry as Scarlet whines indignantly, making Rose laugh as she hides in her gently.

“Okay maybe I’m not… but s t i l l, you deserve a whole lot of nice things!” Grave argues softly, Rose nodding her agreement.

“You don’t think it’ll look weird buying clothes for an android?” Scarlet questions nervously, letting go of Rose as she reveals herself again.

“Nope, it seems pretty normal to me!” Grave exclaims, thinking as she shakes her head.

“Okay…” Feeling reassured, Scarlet smiles sweetly as she calms down, the blue colour of her face dying down slightly.

“Having different clothes is frickin n o i c e, you don’t have to wear the same uniform everyday because you have h o o d i e s!” Grave explains, bouncing happily on the floor.

“It will do good for us I believe.” Rose agrees, smiling as she gently pats Scarlet’s head reassuringly.

“You also need pants with a million pockets on them. Cuz what else would you hold soft knives in?” Grave questions, joking as Scarlet giggles, both of them following her around the store.

“There are s o many fake pockets here, oh my god.” Grave complains as they reach the pants section.

“It seems to be a popular design choice.” Rose comments, both of them giggling at Grave’s exaggerated rage.

“But w h y? Its useless and shitty and nobody even likes it.” Grave argues, flipping off a pair of the pocket less pants.

“I would assume since most of the designers for these brands are male and ignore the words of the feminine consumers.” Scarlet explains, frowning.

“That’s true… makes it suck even more though.” Grave sighs, a small frown creasing her facial features.

“Yeah it does.” Rose agrees, patting Grave’s shoulder gently in a calming manner a she smiles.

“…I could learn how to make pockets.” Grave poses her idea, smiling brightly. “I could make pants that are j u s t pockets.” She continues.

“That would be an interesting sight.” Rose agrees, giggling softly at Grave’s excited expression.

“And an awesome one, too. You can cover your body comfortably and hold a bunch of stuff.” Grave explains, picking up some sweatpants with four pockets happily.

“That would look so funny!” Scarlet giggles quietly, keeping an eye on their surroundings as she follows Grave.

“What if one pocket had like… ten tiny robo dogs in it? Just some tiny dog bois to make your day good.” Grave explains, smiling happily as she taps her feet against the floor.

“So cute!” Scarlet exclaims happily, Squeaking as Rose laughs at the cuteness in front of her as Grave mumbles something under her breath, far too quiet for either of them to hear.

“Anything else you wanna get?” Scarlet questions, negating to ask what Grave had said, sure it would only make her blush more as she smiles.

“Hmm… nah, I don’t think so.” Grave explains, thinking it through as she smiles sweetly, Scarlet returning it as they move so Grave can get to the checkout area.

“Its t i m e.” Grave comments, moving to the checkout as Scarlet and Rose stay behind her, smiling happily and with a slight excited feeling.

Paying for the clothes, Grave taps happily, feeling excited as Scarlet and Rose stand by her, both of them smiling brightly themselves.

“You o w n these now.” Grave comments, picking up the clothes once they’ve been bagged up, moving towards the door of the store.

“I don’t know how to thank you.” Scarlet explains, smiling brightly as they both follow Grave quietly.

“You don’t have to!” Grave exclaims, blushing softly as she smiles, happy thoughts filling her head as she walks, Scarlet blushing as she leans into Grave, walking with her happily.

“By the way, you can keep my jacket if you want. I have a bunch of hoodies so I don’t really need it.” Grave explains, holding her hand gently as Rose and her blush softly.

“Thank you, that’s super nice of you!” Scarlet exclaims, smiling softly as they all walk together.

“You’re welcome!” Grave reassures her, giggling as she unlocks the car, Scarlet pausing in her stride slightly as she follows her.

“What’s wrong?” Feeling confused, Grave looks back to Scarlet as she stands, face morphing to look concerned as someone approaches the group.

“Get in the car. Now.” Grave instructs Rose and Scarlet, frowning as she glows. Nodding, Scarlet and Rose begin to obey, moving out of Grave’s way.

Sighing, Grave walks out to meet the other human, getting ready to fight what she could now see was a woman.

“You shouldn’t be bringing your androids to a place like this, its completely inappropriate!” The woman exclaims, her expression angry as she approaches Grave.

“How the fuck is it not appropriate, bitch? They weren’t doing anything wrong.” Grave argues, growing angry quickly.

“They’re androids, and you’re parading them around like humans! They’re pieces of machinery!” The woman counters, scoffing haughtily.

“Dude, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Don’t tell me what to do.” Grave argues with her, glowing.

“Oh can you? I’m sure if I called the police and told them what you were doing they’d have something to say about it.” The woman sneers out harshly.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be calling the police for a different reason.” Grave argues, rolling her eyes a she lands a solid punch to the woman’s face, both Rose and Scarlet disobeying her order to run forward to her as the woman screeches in pain. Covering her mouth, Grave tries not to laugh at the sight in front of her.

“What the fuck are you doing? Get in the car and go home or else you’ll get hurt!” Grave encourages Rose and Scarlet, feeling worried as they stand beside her.

“Though we heard the order, we can’t obey it and let you get into trouble.” Scarlet explains, frowning as her and Rose actively disobey the command, breaking through their programming to do so.

“I’ll be fine, just get in the fucking car!” Grave exclaims, sounding angry as her worry for them both grows, wanting to keep them safe.

“I cannot obey! I’m not going to watch this!” Scarlet argues, moving in front of Grave to guard her as the woman begins to stand up.

“Fine!” Groaning, Grave gives up on arguing, though she still attempts to get past Scarlet to the woman, glowing angrily.

“And your androids are fucking deviants too.” The woman spits in disgust as Rose moves to hold Grave back, not wanting to make more of a scene between them all.

“A n d? they’re better than you, bitch!” Grave exclaims, flipping the woman off as Rose holds her back, preventing her from hitting her again.

“Ma’am, could we please deescalate this situation? There’s no need for this to become worse than it is.” Scarlet tries to reason with the woman, shuffling back slightly as she continues to block Grave.

Trying to calm down, Grave resists the urge to lunge at the woman as she gets into Scarlet’s face.

“I’m not negotiating with a disgusting deviant.” The woman insults, landing her own solid hit into Scarlet’s stomach.

All of the reserved calmness she had flying out of the window, Grave stalks forward as she draws her knife out of her pocket, slashing into the woman as Rose runs towards Scarlet, the woman falling down in agony, bleeding out quickly.

Despite feeling worried for Scarlet, Grave continues her rampage as Rose helps Scarlet sit down, holding onto her gently.

Pulling out the knife, Grave rushes over to Rose and Scarlet, making a noise of concern as she fails to form words, Rose holding Scarlet up as she flinches clearly in extreme pain.

“A-Are you okay with being carried right now?” Grave questions, trying to calm herself down as she thinks the situation through, Scarlet trembling slightly as she nods.

Picking Scarlet up gently, Grave moves her into the car carefully, getting in herself as she motions for Rose to join them. Getting in the car. Rose holds Scarlet gently as she shakes, not wanting to risk her getting hurt more.

Starting the car, Grave drives away as quick as she wan, not wanting to hurt Scarlet more as Rose lets her lean into her, the pain starting to make her mind feel fuzzy and weak.

Picking up the pace slightly, Grave glows as she panics slightly, trying to keep the speed reasonable as Rose pulls Scarlet into her lap, able to see her going slightly limp.

Stopping the car as they reach her house, Grave opens the door for Rose as she pulls Scarlet into a carry, trying to stop her glowing as she notices Scarlet’s seemingly unconscious state.

“This is f u n, isn’t it?” Grave jokes, the sarcasm dripping off of her voice as she opens the front door.

“Hey, its okay.” Rose tries to reassure her, entering the house as she carries Scarlet gently.

“It is?” Grave questions, frowning in confusion as she locks the door behind them, Rose nodding despite looking worried.

“Despite feeling pain Scarlet is an android, so it means something is probably damaged, which is fixable.” She explains, keeping her voice calm.

“True… come on.” Grave motions for Rose to follow her, walking into her lab to get equipment to help Scarlet as Rose lays her down on the table gently.

Beginning to fix the damaged area on Scarlet’s stomach, Grave hums as Rose sits down, watching her silently as she works.

Glowing, Grave focuses intently as she works, not wanting to risk messing this up as Rose sits watching her, tapping her foot nervously.

“Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Grave reassures Rose, trying to keep her voice soft and calm in an effort to relax her. Still looking slightly worried, Rose manages to crack a smile as she watches Grave work.

Thinking it through, Grave offers Rose her hand to hold for comfort, Rose reaching out, squeezing it gently in response.

“I’m almost done…” Grave explains, squeaking softly as Rose manages to smile, calming down as Grave finishes the final repairs to the damage that had been done.

“I’m done!!!” Smiling happily, Grave glows softly as she taps her feet against the floor.

Smiling as she relaxes, Rose watches Grave open her arms, inviting her in for a hug. Accepting quickly, Rose squeezes Grave in a gentle and calm hug.

“This feels nice…” Grave admits, squeezing Rose back gently as she smiles, the physical contact soothing to her.

“It’ll be nicer when Scarlet wakes up.” Rose expresses, smiling as a soft blue blush dusts over her warm skin.

“Fuck yeah! Then we can all hug and talk about stupid stuff!” Grave exclaims excitedly, poking Rose’s nose gently as she giggles.

Smiling softly, Rose presses their foreheads together gently as Grave gasps, blushing as she closes her eyes happily.

“I’m going to go and fetch some thirium for Scarlet since its likely she lost some and will need to replenish when she gets up.” Rose explains, smiling softly as she lets go of Grave.

“Got it! Want me to stay here or nope?” She questions, opening her eyes to analyse Rose’s expression as she asks.

“I would stay. Its likely Scarlet will come to soon.” Rose explains, a gentle smile tugging at the edges of her mouth.

“Good idea.” Grave expresses, sitting down beside Scarlet as she lays on the table, wiggling as Rose leaves the room.

Shifting slightly on the table, Scarlet draws Grave’s attention to her as she starts to come around, her feet tapping happily as she watches her stir more, her eyes opening halfway.

Waving to her, Grave smiles softly, keeping herself quiet as Scarlet comes around more, trying to sit up on the table.

Helping her sit up, Grave tries to stop herself from tapping her feet as Scarlet leans on her gently, waking up more as she sits.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” Grave greets her gently, pulling Scarlet in for a gentle hug as she smiles.

“…What happened?” Scarlet questions softly, humming tiredly as she leans into Grave lightly.

“You kinda got hurt by a bitch who was angry because I brought y’all to the store with me… and also I stabbed her.” Grave explains, her voice calm.

“You did?” Scarlet questions, frowning softly as she listens to Grave, leaning into her gently.

“Yeah… sorry.” Grave apologises, though she doesn’t feel sorry for her actions at all.

“I get it.” Scarlet explains, shifting to lean into Grave more as she turns, resting her head on her shoulder.

“You do?” Feeling confused, Grave questions Scarlet as she strokes her hair softly to calm her down more.

“Mhm… that really hurt.” Scarlet explains, nodding as she speaks, still sounding slightly sluggish.

“Sorry that happened… but at least she can’t hurt you anymore.” Grave explains, smiling as she touches their foreheads together in a comforting manner.

“Wasn’t your fault…” Scarlet reassures her, closing her eyes as she speaks, voice soft and quiet.

“I know… but still.” Grave explains, humming a soft melody as she pokes Scarlet’s nose gently, hearing her hum quietly in response, opening her eyes slightly.

“Your eyes are really pretty…” Grave mumbles softly, blushing as she looks at Scarlet, watching her flush bright blue as she hides her face from view.

“Nooo! I wanna see your face!” Grave whines, a soft frown on her face as Scarlet hides from her.

“I’m flustered…” Scarlet admits, burrowing further out of view ass she begins to feel embarrassed.

“But I wanna see you…”Grave urges, fake sad noises coming from her as Scarlet whines indignantly.

“Pleaaaaaaaase?” Grave questions, pouting as Scarlet whines more, peeking out from her hiding place.

“Yay!!!” Grave exclaims, smiling brightly as Scarlet blushes, feeling flustered still.

“You’re so fricking c u t e!!!” Grave exclaims, wiggling as Scarlet squeaks, her face a deep shade of blue. “Sorry…” Grave apologises, smiling as she lies gently.

Whining, Scarlet pouts indignantly, knowing Grave is lying as she tries to hold back her smile.

“What? I a m sorry.” Grave insists, biting her tongue as she smiles, Scarlet leaning into her as she pouts.

“Mmmfine. I’m not sorry… kind of.” Grave admits, looking away from Scarlet’s pouting face as she huffs quietly, a small frown shifting her features.

“I cannot s e e the frown, it is not h e r e.” Grave argues closing her eyes as Scarlet whines, covering her face gently as she starts to feel a little sickly.

“Rose is gonna be back soon…” Grave reassures her, squeezing Scarlet gently as she nods, able to hear Rose’s footsteps approaching the room.

“Hi!!! You’re h e r e!” Grave exclaims, watching Rose walk into the room with a pouch of blue blood.

“I’m here!” Rose agrees, smiling as she see’s Scarlet up and awake, being held gently by Grave.

“Aaa!!!” Opening her arms in a request for a hug, Grave screams quietly as Rose smiles, engulfing them both in a gentle hug.

“You’re comfy…” Grave comments quietly, hugging Rose back as she glows softly, feeling happy.

“Thank you… shall we let Scarlet have her blood?” Rose questions, smiling gently as she hugs them both.

“Y e e. She must… s n o r t the blood.” Grave jokes, Rose giggling as she helps Scarlet sit up on her own, handing her the thirium to drink.

Wiggling happily, Grave glows as Scarlet takes the pack of thirium, sipping on it through a straw as she begins to calm down.

“You good?” Grave questions, smiling softly as she taps her feet, her voice soft as Scarlet leans into her, nodding in response.

“I’m glad you’re okay…” Grave smiles, hugging Scarlet gently as she returns the smile, drinking the last thirium out of the pack carefully.

“Today was f u n, wasn’t it?” Grave questions, sounding sarcastic as Scarlet giggles, Rose throwing away the thirium pouch for her, Scarlet feeling too tired to do so herself.

Thinking about it, Grave presses a gentle kiss to Scarlet’s forehead as she blushes bright blue, giggling softly.

“I don’t exist!” Grave exclaims, kissing her more before hiding away from view quickly.

“Noooo.” Scarlet whines, leaning into Grave gently as she complains, feeling sad as she loses sight of her.

“Yes! I am gone and there is nothing you can do about it!!!” Grave exclaims, Scarlet pouting as she leans onto her gently, feeling tired.

“No pouting, its m e a n.” Grave argues, hiding more as she smiles, Scarlet pouting more as she leans on her.

“…Fine!” Coming out from hiding, Grave pokes Scarlet’s nose gently as she smiles, pulling Grave into a soft hug, feeling sleepy. Glowing softly, Grave hugs her back, her touch gentle and calming.

Humming quietly, Scarlet feels sleepier as Grave closes her own eyes, growing tired as Scarlet follows suit, close to drifting off.

Pressing a soft kiss to Scarlet’s lips, Grave allows herself to drift off to sleep as Scarlet follows closely behind, relaxing into Grave as Rose watches over them.

[the-small-one-to-rule-them-all]

Dress to Impress

Summary: Who knew that crying in your room could be the start of something wonderful?

Or, Patton breaks down, Logan shows some feelings, Virgil is his usual precious self, and Roman is a fabulous b****. (that says beaut idk why it’s censored)

Pairing: logicality, prinxiety

Warnings: food mention, homophobia, mild description of a panic attack, cursing

Word count: 5043

A/N: so, this is actually the first fanfic i’ve ever published, I hope it’s okay! I got inspired by @thatoddhuman​‘s picture of Logan in a galaxy skirt while in the middle of writing some logicality hurt/comfort ... and then this happened. Enjoy!

Patton leans back against his door and he hears the latch click shut. It has been a long day, and he has felt way too many emotions in such a small amount of time that he swears if he feels one more thing he’s gonna explode. He lets his hair fall into his eyes as he trods over to his giant bed.

His bed covers an entire wall of the room and is covered in blankets and pillows and stuffed animals of every kind. Patton flops into the middle of it and pulls about seven blankets on top of himself.

He grabs his favourite stuffed animal, a two foot tall penguin named Peggy, and holds her tight.

Logan passes Patton’s door on the way to the kitchen. He is lost in thought when he hears something that pulls him back to the present. It takes him a second, but when he realises what it is, it worries him. He hears crying coming from Patton’s room, and it sounds like it’s coming from Patton and not one of the others.

If Patton was crying, that meant something bad had happened. Patton didn't like to cry but when he needs to he tends to listens to sad music with the door open or watches a sad movie to have an excuse to cry, but this. For him to close himself in his room and try to hide his tears... now that was bad, very bad.

Logan decides his midnight snack can wait. He turns to face Patton’s door and knocks. He hears Patton gasp inside.

“I'm not here.” Patton says, hoping that whoever is on the other side of the door might actually believe him

“Patton, it’s Logan. You know that wont work on me.”

Patton goes quiet, hiding further under his blankets.

“Is it okay if I come in?” Logan asks, hand already on the doorknob.

Patton does not respond.

Logan frowns, “Patton, If the door is unlocked and you don't say anything in protest, i'm coming in, okay?”

Patton pulls another blanket on top of himself, in an effort to conceal himself as he pulls his head under the mountain of blankets.

“I'm going to come in now Patton.” Logan says gently, slowly twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open.

When he sees the giant pile of blankets that Patton is undoubtedly hiding in, Logan’s heart sinks.

Logan steps in, closing the door behind him. “Patton. I know you are under all those blankets.”

Patton sighs and throws off the blanket he last grabbed, revealing his head.

“Hello there Patton.” Logan says, taking a seat in Patton’ swivel chair.

Patton gives Logan a small wave of his fingers.

Logan smiles softly,“Patton, would you mind sharing what is upsetting you? Especially to the point that you are in here at 3 am trying to hide your tears from the rest of the world.”

“Nothing is upsetting me, i'm just sad.” Patton mumbles.

“Why?”

“Because I am. It’s just a combination of a lot of small and big things that’ve been happening and I guess i'm hiding because I don't want to have to explain that there's no reason for me to feel this awful, I just do.” Patton starts crying and hides his face in the blankets.

“I'm sorry that you feel awful. Is there some way in which I can help? Do you want me to offer advice, offer a distraction, or just listen? Or multiple?” Logan asks.

Patton replies, through sniffles and tears,“Umm, actually, can you just sit with me for a bit? I... I just need to feel this right now Logan.’

“Oh, uh, okay. I suppose I can do that.” Logan says startled at the use of another option.

Despite not understanding, Logan joins Patton on the bed, sitting next to the giant pile of blankets and making himself a backrest of pillows. He grabs his designated stuffed robot from the messy pile and just sits.

Patton eventually moves so that his head is on Logan’s lap. Patton knows Logan doesn't really like physical contact, like hugs or really cuddling, but they’ve found that this is the best arrangement for physical contact between them.

Logan absentmindedly starts running his fingers through Patton’s hair, making him gasp a bit.

“Oh, sorry Patton. I didn't mean to upset you. I just find it rather comforting when you do that for me so I thought-”

“Logan, no, it’s fine. I was just surprised.”

“Like a good surprise?”

“Yes, it was a good surprise, Logan.”

“That is... satisfactory.” Logan admits allowing himself to smile.

Patton pats Logan’s knee in acknowledgement a sad smile on his face.

After a bit Logan realizes Patton has fallen asleep on his lap. He smiles down at the emotional side and gently shifts him off of his lap and into a comfortable position.

Logan lays down, removing his glasses and placing them on the nightstand next to Patton’s glasses. He was much too tired to go to his room, and he always seemed to sleep better here anyways.

When Logan woke up the next morning, Patton was already awake, but he hadn't moved from his place on the bed. Normally Patton would get up and make breakfast, but obviously that didn't happen.

“Good morning Patton. Did you sleep well?” Logan asks with a yawn.

Patton shrugs, “I didn't have any bad dreams or wake up in the middle of the night so , yeah, I guess so.”

“You are not feeling well this morning?”

“No Logan, i'm not. I don't feel much better than I did last night.” Patton admits.

“Is there something I can do to help?” Logan asks, concern wrinkling his brow.

Patton loses himself in thought, thinking, wondering, what could possibly make this better. In his franticness he starts to tear up, wondering if it could get better. “I.. I don't know Logan” he admits voice breaking, “I don't know.”

Logan is startled to say the least, “Patton, are you... er, umm, may I give you a hug?”

Patton nods and Logan reaches out, pulling Patton into his lap and holding him there in his arms.

“Is this helping?” Logan asks softly.

“Mmmhmm” Patton hums between gasping breaths and tears.

Logan feels a tightness in his chest at the sound of his friend crying and he holds Patton even tighter, even closer.

Logan starts taking deep steadying breaths, “Patton. I'm here. It’s okay. Can you take breaths with me?”

They breathe in, and out. In and out. In and out.

Slowly the mush in Patton’s mind starts to fade, and he is tired, despite having just woken up.

“Are you doing better now, Patton?” Logan asks when Patton relaxes in his arms.

“Still sad, but not panicked about it anymore so... I guess.” Patton says with a shrug.

“Would you want to talk about it? I have heard that talking about one’s feelings is a good way to help.” Logan says, hoping he’ll oblige.

“I mean, it probably would help, but I really don't want to.” Patton admits.

“And why is that?”

“I... i'm scared of spiralling again.” Patton mutters.

“But I am here, and if you begin to spiral, I can help.” Logan says, hoping it’s enough.

“I just,” Patton sighs, “Talking about it makes me feel bad, and I already feel bad, and I don’t want to feel worse.”

“Is there something else you would like me to do? Shall I distract you?” Logan asks, just wanting Patton to feel a little better.

“Thanks for the offer, but i’d rather just cuddle.”

“Okay, but we do need to go get breakfast at some point, okay?”

Patton nods.

“Tell me when you are ready to go eat.” Logan reminds him.

Patton shrugs, “I guess, i'm ready to go now. I've been awake for a few hours, i'm hungry.”

“I did not think you would want to go downstairs while upset, though I will certainly go with you if that is what you want.”

Patton wipes his eyes, “No, wait i'm not upset, see? I'm happy pappy Patton, i'm not sad, i'm never sad.”

“Falsehood.” Logan mutters, sad and slightly annoyed.

“Uh, i'm sad but it doesn't matter.” Patton says, sounding much less chipper.

“Falsehood. Try again.” Logan directs.

Paton sighs, “I'm sad, but I don't want the others to know so i'm hiding it from them while we get food.”

Logan frowns, his expression soft, “While that is true, it is unacceptable.”

“Logaaaaaan.” Patton whines.

“Try again.” Logan says calmly.

Patton huffs, “Okay, I’m sad, but-”

Logan interrupts sternly, “No. No buts.”

“Pfft... Butts.” Patton snorts.

“Patton.” Logan says, sounding like an annoyed parent.

“Fine. I'm sad... and that’s okay?” Patton says, unsure.

Logan smiles softly, “That is acceptable. Now let’s go get some food. I want waffles with Crofters.”

They get up and get dressed. Logan chooses his normal button up and tie. Patton chooses a plain t-shirt, Virgil’s old hoodie and a pair of shorts.

Patton follows Logan out the door, putting on a front until Logan shoots him a look.

“What do you want for breakfast, Patton?” Logan asks, trying to keep the conversation light, as the others are sure to be up by this time.

“I want toaster strudel.”Patton says.

Logan forces himself not to correct Patton’s grammar, instead saying, “I suppose that is an acceptable choice as it does tend to cheer you up.”

As they walk into the kitchen, Virgil and Roman look up form their spots at the table.

“Hey, Popstar, what’s up?” Virgil asks, giving him a wave.

“Nothing” Patton insists nonchalantly.

“Didn't you say you were gonna wear that pretty flowy skirt today?” Roman asked.

Patton shrugs, “Yeah, I just... didn't want to”

“Patton, is something wrong?” Virgil asks, raising an eyebrow.

Patton shrugs, “I'm not feeling my happy self today, but it’s fine.”

“What’s going on there, padre? “ Roman asks.

Patton huffs, “I said it’s fine.”

Virgil gives him a look somewhere between sad and concerned, “Hey, Patt, it’s obvious that something is up. Please tell us what’s bothering you. Don't make me catastrophize about it all day.”

Normally Virgil doesn't like to guilt trip Patton into doing things, but he can tell something is up and it is bad.

Patton shakes his head, “That’s just it. There is no reason for me to be sad, I just am. And as much as I want to hide it from you guys... I know I shouldn’t. It’s just really frustrating to know that i'm upset for no reason at all.”

Virgil runs a hand through his hair, “Are you sure you’re upset for no reason? Did nothing trigger this?”

Patton takes his seat at the table, “Well... umm, I don't actually know.”

Patton sits and thinks about it as Roman and Virgil carry on eating their food.

Roman frowns, “Was it something we said?”

Patton shakes his head, “No! No, it, uh, it wasn't you guys.”

Logan sets Patton’s toaster strudel down in front of him, the icing in smiley faces and flowers, just the way he likes. “Was it someone else then?” Logan asks.

“I... it... well, yeah.” Patton admits with a sigh.

“What happened?” Roman asks.

Patton pulls Virgil’s old hoodie closer around his shoulders, “Well, remember how I was wearing that cute polka dotted skirt the other day, right?”

Roman smiles, “Yeah, your favourite skirt! It’s really cute on you!”

Patton gives a soft smile, “Thanks. Well there were these people in the store, and they... umm.” Patton hesitates, running a hand through his hair.

“Did they not like the skirt?” Logan asks.

Patton shakes his head, “No. they didn't. They... they were really awful. They called me rude names, even some homophobic slurs. They circled me, pushing me around, being rude and mean. Then one poured their coffee on my skirt and  acted like it was an accident.”

Patton hears Virgil mutter something about homophobes and Roman puts a hand on Virgil’s arm.

Logan sighs, “Oh, so that’s what happened to the skirt.”

Patton nods, “They, they said i’m ugly, that i'm a freak. They said that my skirt was disgusting. That it made me look... They, they... said lots of things that I won't repeat. ”

“Why didn't you tell us about that when you got home?” Virgil asks.

“I... I- ” Patton shrugs and pulls his hood over his head

Logan sets down his bite of waffles,  “That was the day that the video went up, remember? We were all stressed and excited about the video. Patton had run to the store to get snacks.”

“Oh, yeah.” Roman nods.

Patton sighs, staring at his plate, “I didn't want to ruin all the fun.”

“I understand that Patton, but that was a little bit more important than the video.” Virgil says with a sigh.

“I guess so, but it’s too late now.” Patton mumbles.

“What I do not understand is why it is still upsetting you.” Logan admits.

Roman looks at Patton, “Patton, you know that the things they said about you were wrong, right?”

Patton does not respond.

The room goes quiet.

“Patton?”

Patton pokes at his untouched food, “It still hurt.”

“Oh, Patton, of course it did. I would be more concerned if it didn't. But please know that we don't believe any of those things about you.” Logan reminds him

“... Knowing and believing are two different things.” Patton admits, his whispered voice loud in the quiet of the room.

After a long pause Roman shakes his head and frowns, “What do you mean?”

“I... I think I know what he’s saying.” Virgil says, shifting in his chair. “Knowing someone thinks something is like, surface level knowledge, believing something changes your thought patterns and your actions. Like knowing that a table was fixed and believing it can hold your weight are two different things.”

Logan frowns, “But many different factors play into-”

“L, that’s not-” Virgil groans, “How do I put this? Uh, it’s like knowing we won't judge you for having vocab cards, and believing it enough to use them around us.”

Logan blinks, “Oh... I see.” He looks down at Patton, “Is, is he right Patt?”

Patton is breathing so hard he feels like he might explode, his face is hot and his hands are shaking and he thinks he might be crying but he doesn't know. How did Virgil know? He shouldn't be this upset about this. He knows they were wrong, he thinks he believes it, he wants to but he can't and it hurts so much oh gosh it hur-

A hand is on his arm. “Hey, hey, Patton, we’re here. We’re right here.  You're okay.”

Patton turns, looking at Virgil’s hand on his arm. He feels the tears on his face. He takes some deep breaths focusing on Virgil’s hand, listening to his voice.

Finally Patton whispers in the quiet between Virgil’s comforting words, “How did you know?”

Virgil takes a deep breath, “What did you think it was like for me to tell you my name?”

Patton opens his mouth as if to speak, but nothing comes out. He just closes his mouth and nods. They sit there for a minute as Patton’s breathing returns to normal.

Virgil smirks, “Patton, don't think those bad things about yourself, i’ll fight you!” he says playfully.

That gets a small smile and a giggle from Patton.

“And i'll fight anyone who wants to say those things to you!” Roman declares.

Logan smiles, “How about we all wear our fancy feminine clothes together? We’ll all look nice and we’ll be supporting each other in that.”

Roman groans, “I have to wear this because i'm doing the show all day today, could we maybe do that tomorrow?”

“I'd be fine with that.” Logan affirms.

Virgil looks at Paton’s head under his hoodie, “Of course, only if you want to Patton.”

Patton looks up a bit, “Oh, you... you guys don't have to do that for me.”

“We want to Padre,” Roman says with his trademarked smile, “We want to support you!”

Patton frowns, “But they'll tease you too.”

Roman scoffs, “Honestly, damn those kids. I'm looking fabulous tomorrow! The only reason they’d be rude is because I look better in a skirt than they do.”

Patton smiles, “Well, I mean I can't stop you guys.”

Logan smiles “Exactly, now let’s eat and finish getting ready or we’re gonna be late to first class.”

The next day Patton wakes up and looks at the outfit he chose last night, smiling to think of his roommates doing the same. His outfit was a black knee length 50s style poofy dress covered in white polka dots. He had a clip with a red flower on it chosen for his hair, paired with his red converse.

Patton gets dressed, fixes his hair, and puts on some makeup to finish the look. Just some mascara, eyeshadow, and lipstick, but it is enough. He looks great and he feels great too. Patton gives himself a wink before putting the makeup away.

Patton smiles walking down to the living room for breakfast feeling good about himself. He stops as he reaches the bottom of the stairs and sees Virgil sitting on the table eating toast. Virgil is wearing a floor length black evening gown. It has intricate patterns sewn into the fabric in a black thread just slightly different from the fabric making it subtle but strikingly beautiful. Virgil even has a string of pearls around his neck and his hair done up nice.

Virgil catches Patton staring, “You think it’s too much?”

Patton shakes his head, “I just didn't realise we were dressing up so nice. I might have to change.”

Logan comes out from the kitchen, he is wearing a button up fancy white shirt with a knee length skirt. He hands a plate of toaster strudel and strawberries to Patton, “Oh you don't have to dress fancy to look amazing. You already look fantastic.”

Patton blushes, “Thanks Logan, you look pretty great yourself. I didn't know you owned that skirt.”

Logan looks down at poofy galaxy skirt, “Yeah, this is my first time wearing it. I have been waiting for the right occasion.”

“Well, I think you chose well.” Patton says with a smile, “Where’s Roman? Is he still getting ready?”

Virgil nods, “He came into my room early this morning insisting on doing my hair. He had already done his own and he basically stole my makeup when he left, claiming he didn't have what he needed in his own room. I think he just likes that I have so many eyeshadow colors.”

Patton laughs shaking his head, “Our local drama queen.”

“You called!!!” Roman shouts.

They all look up to the top of the stairs where Roman is standing in the dark.

“I am the ultimate gay theatre prince and drama king! And now everyone can tell!” Roman announces.

Roman descends the stairs, one hand on the banister, the other up in his usual dashing pose. As he comes into view the others can only stare.

Roman is wearing a floor length ball gown with a cape. The cape is long, black, and made of silk. The hood has white lacing around the edges, a stark contrast to the dress. To call the dress pretty is an understatement, it is enchantingly beautiful. The skirt looks like a galaxy of rainbows, swirled bright colors falling from his waist, dotted with small white gemstones and sequins. The top of the dress is completely covered in those sparkly white specks.

Virgil smiles, “Wow, Roman. You look stunning. Literally, I am stunned. I might be blinded..”

Roman smiles and adjusts his hair, which Patton now realises is holding a tiara.

“Roman you look like a beautiful prince if ever I saw one!” Patton says with a smile.

“Hopefully the gayest prince you ever saw too!” He laughs.

“That just goes without saying.” Logan admits.

Patton notices that Roman has on rainbow highlighter and he has put on pure white and sparkly eyeshadow to match his dress. He even has rainbow freckles covering his face. Patton has no idea how he managed to do it. He imagines that that  must’ve been why he needed Virgil’s makeup.

Roman laughs and travels the last few steps to land in front of Virgil, “Here, as promised,” He says giving his cape to Virgil, “a hood to hide in, though you look so good I don't know why you would want to hide.”

Virgil sets his plate down on the table and hooks the cape around his neck, “I like walking around looking beautiful and terrifying, but mostly terrifying.”

Roman rolls his eyes, “My emo nightmare, you are the midnight sky to my shimmering star.”

Virgil smirks, “In the background, unnoticed, only there to strike fear and make others look better?”

Roman smiles, taking Virgil’s hand, “You ignite wonder and curiosity in people’s hearts. The unknown is a bit scary, yes, but your beauty is something people marvel at, something they long to understand and achieve. You are noticed more than you think. You see yourself as the background, but others see you as their context for existing, and that is truly wonderful.”

“If you two are done flirting we need to leave in ten minutes and fifteen seconds, so i'd consider eating something.” Logan reminds them as he grabs Virgil’s empty plate and heads back to the kitchen. Roman grumbles but follows him to grab his breakfast.

Patton’s smile falters, “Oh yeah, I forgot about the actually going to school part.”

“Hey, no, you don't get to be nervous, that’s my job.” Virgil jokes.

“I don't look half as good as the rest of you guys though. You all look so amazing, how could I compare?” Patton says with a  frown.

Roman runs in, shoving the last half of a waffle in his mouth. He grabs Patton by the hand and pulls him up the stairs. The next thing Patton knows he’s on his bed and Roman is digging through his closet.

Patton gives him a look, “Ro? What are you-?”

“I will not have you feeling bad about yourself today.” He insists. “AHA!” He spins around a dress in his hands, “I didn't know you owned this! You should wear it! If you want to, of course.”

Patton goes pale, “I... I never actually intended to wear it, I just.... I don't know.”

Roman raises a skeptical eyebrow at Patton, “You would look better in this than any of us in our outfits.”

“... Really?” Patton asks hesitant.

Roman nods, “You should try it on.”

Patton slowly takes the dress from Roman.

“I'll be in the hall. Come out when you’re ready, and know it doesn't matter to me what you wear. I just want you to feel radiant today.”

Patton smiles at him and looks down at the dress in his hands. He has a decision to make.

Logan joins Roman in the hall, “What did you do?”

Roman smiles, “I gave him an option. The dress he already had on, or one he hasn't worn before. I'm letting him decide.”

“I see. That does sound like a good choice. He did seem to like our outfits more than his own.” Logan acknowledges with a nod

The door opens a crack, “Logan, is that you?”

“Yes Patton.”

“How much time do I have?” Patton asks.

“Five minutes.”

They hear a shaky breath come from behind the door, “I feel amazing right now, but I feel like i’ll regret my choice as soon as I leave.”

Virgil speaks up from where he had hidden in the shadows, “We aren't judging you Patt. And trust me, I don't think anyone at school will either.”

The door swings open.

“Oh my dear sweet Crofters, you are radiant.” Logan mumbles.

“You like it that much?” Patton asks, a blush creeping up his face.

Roman laughs, “Patton, even i'm jealous of how good you look in that dress!”

Virgil smirks, “You should be Roman, he looks better than you do.”

Patton blushes harder and looks at himself in the mirror on the back of his door. He admires the long dress. He thinks he looks like an elf from the Lord of the Rings. The dress is a dark forest green. The hems are adorned with silver embroidery, the sleeves are long and flowy. He is wearing a pair of small brown boots. And his hair is half up, pinned back by a clip of the star of Lothlorien.

Virgil smirks seeing the way Logan is staring at Patton. He swears they better admit their feelings soon or he’s gonna explode. He rolls his eyes, “Grab your bag and let’s go, or we’re gonna be late.”

Somehow they manage to get to school on time. Everything seems fine, they all have ensured they have everything and are ready for class. But as they pull up Patton freaks out.

“I can't do this, I wanna go back home!” He admits, his grip on his backpack tightening.

Roman turns around and frowns, “I would much rather you stay, but I’ll let you decide. Let me make a phone call while you three talk this through. I’ll be just outside.” He climbs out of the car and leans back against his door pulling out his phone.

Logan turns around from his place in the driver's seat to see Patton who was sitting behind him. “I thought you were feeling confident and beautiful? What happened?”

Patton squeezes his eyes shut, “Oh... uh, nothing really, I just realised that the people who were mean to me in the shop go here. I kinda saw them walk in the front gate just now. I don't want to have to face them again.”

Virgil frowns, “You want a hug Patton?”

Patton nods and Virgil holds him tight, “You don't have to face them alone. They won't hurt you. We will all be right here with you, and besides, you have lots of friends here who support you. You’re never as alone as you think you are.”

Patton smiles and gives Virgil a big squeeze before pulling away. He wipes his tears and looks up at Virgil, “Is my makeup smudged now?”

Virgil shakes his head “No, I think Roman put some fancy waterproof setting spray on you.”

“Oh. Was that the nice smelling thing he sprayed on my face as we were walking out the door?” Patton asks

Virgil snorts, “Yup, that would be it.”

Logan smiles proudly, “Yes Patton, like Virgil said, it won't just be us supporting you. Look who we convinced to join us in dressing up.”

Patton looks out the window past Virgil and sees a crowd of people coming out the front of the school gates. A bunch of guys are wearing clothing ranging from mini skirts to sun dresses to ballgowns.

Patton gasps as he sees who it is. There are guys from theatre, the debate team, several of the sports teams, the D&D club, and the art classes. All of Patton’s friends are in the crowd. He smiles so wide he feels his face might split open. Patton laughs, grabbing his bag and dashing around the car to Roman’s side.

“You still afraid to go in?” Roman asks as he sees Patton round the car, an amazed smile on his face.

“No, not at all.” Patton admits.

Logan and Virgil get out of the car and join them, waiting for the crowd to arrive.

“How did you do this?” Patton asks wonder in his voice.

“Well, Logan gave me the debate guy’s numbers, Virgil texted his D&D group, and we all texted all our friends, but for the record it was my idea.”

“Group hug!!!” Patton yells, squeezing them all tightly. “Thank-”

“Don't thank us. We are just being good friends.” Virgil says softly.

“You would do the same for us, and you deserve to get just as much love as you give.” Logan insists, smiling wide despite not really being one for hugs.

“Yeah, we didn't do much ourselves. We just rallied people who love you to support you in this so we can show you just how much you’re loved.” Roman adds with a smile.

Patton is crying what he will later deem the happiest tears he has ever shed. But that doesn't matter because right now he is surrounded by some of the best, most supportive friends in the world and he could not ask for more.

Bonus scene:

When the friends get over to them, they break up the hug. Patton compliments and hugs everyone who will let him. He laughs at the drama kids who strike obnoxious poses and compliments the debate team on their color coordinated outfits. He beams when the D&D team compliments his dress, saying it looks good enough to be in a fantasy movie. Patton rolls his eyes at Remmy in his mini skirt and crop top when he says he is the hottest of all of them. He ends up back at Logan. He looks so proud that they were able to do this for him.

“Can I give you a hug, Logan” Patton asks.

Logan smiles, “Sure, Patton.”

Patton wraps Logan in a tight hug, face buried in Logan’s neck. He pulls back after a second, just enough to look Logan in the face. Logan is smiling and Patton is so overwhelmed with joy. He leans in and presses a small kiss to Logan’s lips.

Logan blushes, a small smile creeping onto his lips, “Patton...”

“Yes, Logan?”

“Kiss me again?” Logan asks and Patton can't help but oblige. He leans in and kisses him again, longer this time. They both are smiley and giggly messes, but they don't care.

Next thing they know they hear Roman whooping at them, and Virgil muttering something about them being so oblivious and finally figuring it out.

They break apart and Patton gives Virgil a look, but his laughter makes it ineffective. Logan is blushing and hiding his face in his hands. Patton pulls them away from his face and plants a kiss on Logan’s forehead. They walk inside holding hands, feeling happier and more confident in themselves than ever.

[sarinataylor]

Joger ask: how would they cope with Roger having a crisis about the fact that John has written hit singles including their biggest ever hit and he has yet to pop his a-aide cherry? Is he rubbish? Is he really just a pretty face? He knows he brings lots of musical input & the sonic volcano & ‘the girl for everything’ for the band but really, who is he kidding? And John can’t deny that he aced his degree or does the finances or wrote hits... Thankfully Radio Gaga comes along and all ends well...

hmmmm ok. this got? long. very ramble-y. apologies

so like. roger is so fucking proud of john y’know???? and it’s not john’s songs being more successful than his which is cutting deep (because, well, commercial success is somewhat ehh to roger now that they’ve already made it big. the music he’s writing and creating, off on the side, is more about the music than anything else), it’s that he didn’t see it coming

100% did not see aobtd being a hit. hated recording it with his drums taped up, and thought the whole thing was a waste of time which.... it obviously wasn’t because john’s latest royalty cheque was big enough to have even freddie blinking in surprise

and. well. roger’s kind of always been the one with his finger on the pulse, so to speak. roger was riding the early waves of punk before the sex pistols had so much as looked at a safety pin and thought, “hmm, i wonder”. and his ability to keep up with, stay just one step ahead, of the trends has been invaluable in the past and now.... he might be slipping behind?

because even though he fucking hated half of the lines in ymbf he... he knew it was going to be a hit in the US. that sort of soft poppy feel, with a funky little bassline? the american’s eat that shit up in spades. of course it was going to be popular.

but, yeah, he didn’t see aobtd being a hit and now he’s starting to wonder if maybe the reason he isn’t writing hits isn’t because he hasn’t been trying to appeal to the broader audience, hasn’t been trying to write songs that will get massive air time or be played in clubs, but because he’s got no fucking clue about what people want anymore

‘girl for everything.......... except knowing what people want’ doesn’t, uh, sound as good

and it’s not? it’s not a Big Deal, not really. he just gets a little quieter about voicing his opinions on tracks because, well, maybe he doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s talking about?

and so, hot space

brian’s losing his gd mind arguing with everyone and everything because he feels backed into a corner, freddie isn’t playing the peacekeeping role he usually does, john is being Just a Little Bit of an egotistic shit, and roger is........... not getting involved. which works kind of awfully because both brian and john take his silence as tacit approval of their position, which boils over into a lot of misunderstandings about just what it is roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio

(and mostly what roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio is that this album is going to be a Fucking Disaster because instead of ripping apart one anothers songs and building them back up stronger all they’re doing is ripping into one another and calling it creative differences)

and he tosses up a couple of songs and lets them do what they will with them (and oh my god if you haven’t listened to action this day performed live???? do urself a favour and do it oh my god i fucking hated that song until i listened to it live) because well. they probably know better than he does at the moment, because he doesn’t quite trust himself. and tensions are high enough that inserting himself into the cockfight when he isn’t actually Sure about his opinions just seems an unnecessary risk.

and. uh. hot space...................................................... does as it does

and john is pretty mortified about the whole thing because.... ???? all of that work and fighting and it’s flopping which is. made all the more worse by brian’s oh too casual sympathetic comments during the press junket, and then even worse by the way that roger. doesn’t seem surprised?? because. well. even when it was a love song written about roger roger was honest about what he didn’t like about it, but now there’s a whole fucking album that john pushed really hard for and roger a) didn’t like it and b) didn’t tell him

he thought they respected one another more than that. he thought they were more secure than that. 

which sort of........ simmers uncomfortably between them as they gear up for the tour and sort of. explodes when roger starts making suggestions for changes to some of the songs for the live performances that. annoyingly sound much better and why didn’t you bring this up when we were recording the fucking album, roger (look aight atd sounds SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND IM STILL SHOOK)

and roger’s sort pussyfooting around it because oh well... you know you and freddie really wanted to this one as a sort of concept album..... and brian and i didn’t want to interfere...... (brian: very much did want to interfere) ............ so ya know................ it’s not really my style so i didn’t wanna stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.........

and john’s like???? its music what the fuck are you Talking About? you know music you know what sounds good and what doesnt and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about voicing your opinions before, so forgive me if im a bit confused about the sudden reticence 

regardless, it’s Not a Big Deal. no really. roger will insist this til the day he dies

and things calm down? they take a break and, as they are wont to do, the tensions of the band slowly start slipping from john and roger’s day to day lives? like, when they’re not living in close quarters and feeding off of the energies that brian and freddie and mack and everyone else is putting out. it’s just them, yeah? 

but anyway, roger’s still been writing music and ha enough for a new solo album so he’s like. yeah. think imma do that and john’s a bit taken aback because? fuck, you’ve been busy then you said you didn’t have much of anything for hot space??? and roger’s like. uh, yup. been busy. busy bee, me. ya know. while ur out painting the shed i gotta keep myself occupied somehow

except. well. john’s obviously lending a hand with bass and mixing, and brian’s in and out too, so’s freddie and. it’s freddie, actually, who picks up that roger had been working on the beat of  I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) back in the studio when they’d been working on hot space which.   doesn’t make sense, because he definitely hadn’t shown them it to them which is odd, because roger usually shows them everything he writes in case they want it for queen? 

and then brian chimes in because, actually, he recognises the lyrics for killing time? 

and john is like what the FUCK is going on because this is just? weird? 

so john ends up lowkey cornering him at home in a totally not cool sneaky fashion (read: he gives him a fucking mindblowing orgasm and then is like [head propped on roger’s chest] SO)  because???? ofc he supports rog’s solo career but also? why didn’t he share what he was writing with him? what’s going on? music’s always been a language they’ve shared, even if they tended towards different dialects, and now it... well it doesn’t feel very good that roger seems to be inching him out of something that john knows is so very important to him

and roger’s like huh no idea what you’re talking bout. been really busy writing recently. shame though, means i might not have much for the next queen album

and john’s like? do you want to leave queen, if that what this is about?

and roger’s horrified because what the fuck no i’m just not sure i’ll have much to contribute is all which has john like?? because. it’s roger of course he’s got something to contribute what the fuck are you talking about

but roger’s like oh well ya know nothing im really writing at the moment is much of our current style so. that’s cool, though. that’s fine

but john is confused bc well. hot space was a bit of a failure so they’re probably headed back to more consistent waters so that’s not a problem, and hey, maybe if roger had injected a bit more of his style into the album things might have been better right?

ANYWAY basically john’s like yo my man like. if u dont wanna write any material for the new album that’s? fine ig? but we kinda Need You to be a little bitch about the things u dont like because.... things work better when ur being a nitpicky little bitch than when ur being silently supportive of me :) though that was sweet

and rogers like oh i was 100% not being supportive of either u or brian’s bullshit tbh i just. disco isn’t my forte ya know i didn’t wanna chat shit ab smth i know nothing about like, god, imagine if you’d listened to me about aobtd????????? 

which. john’s like. i? i mean, i did. fuck sake, the whole thing got rewritten to be about our dog (steve) bc u made a joke about it? i.     i did listen to u about aobtd

and john has honestly NO IDEA what any of this is about? because roger has an awful tendency to sit on things until they’re Much Bigger than what they were to begin with. like, john’s actually not great at that? he’s not very good at hiding that he’s angry or upset, not for the long term. roger’s a lot better at it in the worst kind of way, because unless you pick up on it right at the beginning by the time you’ve figured out something’s wrong it’s months down the track and so many micro interactions or events have been tacked onto the Original Problem that it’s a sprawling mess of “i dont want to communicate that im feeling vulnerable about something so instead im gonna try and turn my vulnerabilities into armour” - like deciding to turn all of your writing, not just the stuff that won’t fit on your main project’s albums, into solo material because your solo stuff doesn’t have to be successful 

but also, ok fine. 

and so he sort of? lets it go? because tbh once roger latches onto something, when u havent go in there early enough? your best bet is to just wait for him to.... get over it. which he generally does. he doesnt have the patience for decade long grudge matches, not really.

and then it all comes to a head when brian writes and shows them all machines (or: back to humans) which obvs came about from an idea of roger’s and. well. freddie thinks its amazing, john is nodding along even as he sends him small little side eyes and well. fuck it, right?

and so the next week he comes in and slams down the first rough draft of radio gaga, the music heavily influenced by I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) which freddie had been complaining about being used up on a solo album 

and then he goes home and tops the hell out of john, the end.

[mythological-survivor-no-mikoto]

FINALE - almost feels too good to be true - Rodrigo

At Final 5 Rachael was vote out 3-2 over Nikias

At Final 4 there was a tie between Nikias and Rodrigo. Rodrigo beat Nikias in the firemaking challenge, securing his spot in the final 3 with Abrielle and Aly.

In the end, Rodrigo was crowned the winner in a 6-3-1 vote over Abrielle and Aly.

“ anuway Rod wanted Rachel out and you better believe i am gonna use it to my advantage “

“ honestly this almost feels good to be true right now. I feel like if I don't win this next challenge I am gonna be blindsided. cuz it just doesn't make sense that after flip flopping the past two rounds, I would be the swing vote at f5. I mean if that is the case like great, my game is working out more then I antecipated. But I am very worried about my position. I'd love to make FTC but its gonna take a lot of leg work to achieve it “

“ feel like the reason I wanna win this game is bc everything works for me a) cast is such a good cast of people b) you guys are awesome 3) I put some part of my heart into and tbh i . dont care if i win as much as i get an opportunitu to explain my game in the end game then i know i did everything i could but i really want to get to the end guys, this game means something to me as a person. I think the enviroment you guys create it around is as toxic as possible and i really respect that. In this game i feel like there was a proof that if you are just like shy around too many people that's fine, you can still play thee fucking game and that's really pretty. No i don't have to be the cool dude, all i have too is play and give my best as a person and as a player. and i am give that til the end. love you guys and i think . this round could be me bc tbh I think there is a very valid reason to be me this round even though i am gonna try to prove otherwise “

“ So my plan is to vote Rachael in hopes no idol comes out. my thought process behind it is if I flip on Nikias and Aly this round, Aly wont trust me and if I side with Rach and Abi they will still not trust me and use me fore the vote and probably vote me out next tribal. with Nikias here next round, I know he has my back but I also know Abi will need me next round so I can make the move there because I dont see Nikias turning on me. And I dont see Aly going rogue on Nikias “

“ shit shit shit, I think i am actually going home this round. I don't know, there is a sense that i wouldn't even be mad about but I think it could be a good move “

“ Well now I’m gonna be super mad if I get 4th place because I didn’t do the shinsen “

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 9 Confessionals

dammit i aligned with the one person everyone wanted out in the merge first.. why is jordan pines still here? well im using my power and bouncing the fuck out next round--- see ya suckers!

i hate blindsides. like people are always like "omg BLINDSIDE haha this is so fun!!" no. theyre not fun. do u rlly like having to own up to everything after tribal to people u just betrayed and u cant tell them EVERYTHING that happened but u have to tell em something and tey always feel betrayed. not fun, and katies obv pretty hurt while bryce is hiding it. like im not gonna blindside if its always this unfun. i dont wanna spill my guts and be all weird bc i dont like doing it :/ but telling people who im voting isnt fun either idek

So the vote didn't go my way. Someone is working with jordan and luke. i think the way the votes fell it was me and chris on jordan, katie on luke, willow on me, and charlotte, luke, jordan, carson, zach on chris. everyone is saying that it was last minute and just wanted to go with the majority. but that doesnt add up. i was told that i wasnt clued in because they didnt know if i was close with chris or not. and that they wanted to flush the idol that jordan has. but if you all vote with him he obviously wont play it?? also i wasnt told because chris chose me to go on the wishing well im  pretty sure which is lame. we werent even close and i would be fine voting him even if i think its the wrong move seeing as how luke and jordan need to go sooner or later. im most betrayed by carson because i told him hes my number 1 and he said the same but he doesnt let me know saying it was last minute. but he talked to me right before the vote and said it was jordan so clearly it wasnt too last minute. willow voting me is so random but i need to make sure i get her back with me b/c i think i can use her. this vote has brought me and katie closer i think which is good, she really seems to think that charlotte was the mastermind of the vote and i kind of agree. i just dont get why charlotte wanted us to split and then do this. she convinced chris to split too i believe which is sad for him. but like why would she make a split if she already had 5 votes. so i think its maybe not her, or she was doing that for extra caution. anyway people still have these advantages from the auction so im wary and just want to win the immunity to secure myself. i need to work on my relationship with luke and willow i think b/c i think that can be beneficial moving forward.

katie used her power.. like why?? i love katie but like.. that was dumb. after me incessantly telling her, youre fine, youre safe. but whatever. (but i get her point of view too because i wouldnt trust me after telling her i was voting jordan then helping her split votes on luke then voting chris out lmao) hopefully the plan of getting jordan out can work this round even though katie using her power semi? nto really complicates the plan. patience sucks by the way

Jordan won immunity which is PERFECt because it means he can't be voted out but now I'm just worrying about me. I know we managed to get the numbers last round but I'm nervous about whether or not people will vote me off this round or not, especially since I'm the only vulnerable Copa at tribal council. That being said I /do/ have 2 idols in my pocket so I could just pull one of those but I wanna try and wait as long as I can before I have to use those. Ideally I want Willow out this round, I don't really talk to her and I don't think she trusts me especially after we played Dead Sea together and I had a hand in exposing the idol that she played incorrectly (oops?)! Zach didn't really like the idea of getting Willow out but Jordan wants to so I'm gonna see what I can do. It ain't over yet

*play like jenna.. play like jenna... play like jenna... PLAY LIKE JENNA*

I hope to be a swing vote next round 

Carson: What do you want to do about tribal? Me, probably: Blindside Zach. 

So we're talking about voting out Willow this round.

She's nice, but there are no real allegiances (as far as I know) that she has in this game. Her vote was wild last round for Bryce, so it should be easy to get him on board to vote for her too. Jordan and Zach both need to go at some point but right now they, and Carson, are the only people I enjoy talking to so ... maybe I'll play this out and just bring a bunch of threats to the end with me. Why not? Can you imagine a final three filled with people who actually played decent games? It'd be a blood bath to see who wins and I am SO here for that.

this vote is a little intricate. but before I get into that, I want to explain other stuff. I was so close to copying Jordan's score because I knew from a past game he got perfect, so I would only assume he'd get it again. That being said, I would've felt really shitty and it may have potentially fractured my relationships with some of them. anyway the five person alliance type thing of char/luke/jordan/carson/myself aint going to stick much longer because..... everyone wants me out. I wanted Bryce out and i got it going but unfortunately people are doing willow. 

Willow leaving is kind of bad for my game, but nonetheless it's the decision and I can't resist it much. I plan on telling her the truth, and getting her to use her golden fan so that I can maybe get a new power because my rope fucking sucks (well, sometimes it can, but its a tiebreaker rip) I think if she didnt use it, she'd give it to me? and i think thatd be fine but i dont want to use it because luke would be mad, so if she's leaving, then why not just let it be her since  she's leaving anyway? I love Willow to death though so her leaving is going to be sad :( I think ideally the next person i'd want out is Jordan. One of the trio of L/C/J have to leave, and i'm least closest with Jordan and despite Char being like... opened about wanting me out because i can go on a comp streak, i don't want her out bryce can leave too. i dont talk to him much, but he's a nice guy! the game's the game, and it sucks though. Also it's fucking crazy how already its final 8 like?? it feels like the game started lowkey like 2 days ago and .... we're almost half way done.. wait we are DSMGODSMGDS okay done

"honestly i love how in this game votes are determined like ~6 hours before the vote and its settleede easily for the most part" zach even tho we've only had three votes including this one and the last one he said he was" told last minute" so what the truth!!! I think we're voting willow here everyone seems to be on board but i was blindsided last time and theres no saying I wont be blindsided again. I really wanted to win immunity but i flopped big time but maybe itll make people think im not a threat. Im gonna try to bring me carson zach charlotte back together and hope for the best because it would be 4-3. but also i want to remain close with katie even tho she ditched me... iconic queen. She told carson before hand but not me so thats interesting i guess!

willow targeted charlotte and spread her name, and charlotte acc does have some power so... ppl (bryce) ratted to charlotte and now willow's on the chopping block. sigh. im fine with willow going i guess ill just need a new final 3 person for me and zach?? whatevs. also willow has a golden fan apparently that mixes up the golden fan so me + zach r gonna try and get her to use it before tribal so we can possibly get some items. also.. at the start of this tribal EVERY name was tossed out besides me and zach. this could be because people know we're close or maybe we actually are in a good position. i think its the former but who knows. hoping this vote can be pulled off easily and i won't be the blindsidee tonight.

Currently trying to get the votes to get Willow out. So far I think I have me, Jordan, Charlotte and Bryce and with Katie gone that's majority for this vote. Zach still doesn't want to do it but I may just have to go behind his back on this vote and not do what he wants but that's the game. Hoping this works because I have a really weird feeling about tonight. 

Okay so as of currently I think Carson, Zachary and Charlotte are the biggest threat and I want Charlotte gone lowkey 

But I'm at my friends house so I don't have lots of time as usual ugh, also I'm a dumbass who got the challenge time wrong also Bryce suspected it was me who voted for him last round rip 

I've been being jewish all day so im just here now, so first confessional - hooray jordan finally won a fucking immunity challenge, it took way too long rtp. like seriously wtf

Anyways splitting this confessional up into 2 cause tribal is soon and i got nothing to talk about, but like bye willow, you were cool i guess, we didnt talk. sorry hon

Okay so like its definitely gonna be me tonight and I sorta tried but I think it's gonna be a unanimous vote and I just wanted to say I love Zach and Carson and I hope they do well in this game and I'm excited to use my fan and stir shit up right before I leave and continue only ever getting 8th in side seasons  

i gave zach my idol bc im a paranoid bitch and have a bad feeling about this vote. also FUCK everyone for wanting (or faking) to vote out literal ANGEL Willow. i just like told her im voting her and love her and wanna be friends after :// Also idk. i have a weird feeling. if i am blindsided, then good game bitches.

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 8 Confessionals

This is long overdue but I've been busy because my brother got married woooo! Okay so FINALLY WE MERGED! Jordan and I survived the hell tribe and we made it here. We had to lose Jay which absolutely sucks, I feel terrible for voting him out but I did what I think was the right thing. The biggest piece of news is that I was literally on the merge tribe for like 10 minutes and ended up FINDING THE IMMUNITY IDOL!! I WAS SO SHOCKED I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! I haven't told anybody about it but I might....MIGHT....tell Jordan about it to show that I do trust him after wavering so much on my decision about potentially voting him out. We have an auction coming up, I hope I get something really cool from it! Bryce told me that he was the one that gave me the idol but Zach told me that he was the one that pushed for him to give it to me so I'm thankful to the both of them for that. I think I could get good with Carson, Zach, Bryce and Charlotte. Katie and I have bonded over our love of true crime, she's super nice and her connection to Jordan Pines is incredibly strong so we can do this. I believe that Copa isn't dead just yet. 

finally got into an alliance with charlotte and chris

i bid well at the auction and got a nifty apple that lets me sit out for a round #blessed

Finding out someone I want to work with is an Amy Schumer fan.... maybe shouldn't work with them :/. Jk!! But am I even DKSFJSD

zack just sent me this message "and im in kuang si (it’s a main season, if you know what those are) asdjfk" I dont know how to respond to that

Merge sweet merge! Okay so I'm officiallly in an alliance with Katie and Charlotte. We're the Senior Citizens. Katie is playing up to Jordan that she doesn't have any allies in hopes of him telling her any potential people from Ulta who might flip. Meanwhile I have to PUBLICLY pick 3 people to go to the wishing well with me. Obviously taking the Senior Citizens, but I then decided on Bryce because he was the only person not mention by Jordan as someone he thinks he's working with. Immunity just happened and as of right now I feel content with my score but some people are insane and will destroy me. I really hope I win because I feel like I'll get cut as soon as the opportunity arises.

me two days ago: I should probably try to be less hostile towards JP. me today: DISADVANTAGE GOES TO JP. i'd say i'm sorry but that would be a lie.

am i up to date on confessionals 

hope i dont go home probably should have used my advantage 

We merged!!! and im stressed as hell. i have NO idea what im doing. chris won this wishing well thing in the auction and took katie, charlotte, and bryce. so it set off alarms to me and zach so we're working on the me/willow/zach thing we were planning on before, we just have mroe of a reason now. the plan is: vote jordan pines this first round (even though hes trying to talk strategy with me and if eel bad bc i told charlotte to use the disadvantage on him) recruit luke and katie and vote chris out at final 8 and thats our plan so far bc... its hard to plan things in survivor! yeah i have no idea i hate the merge especialyl when i know where NO ONE sits

Whose got two thumbs and flopped at immunity? THIS GUY. But it's all good. We have two clear outsiders in the form of luke and Jordan. I feel bad because I genuinely like luke. I'm hoping we can get rid of Jordan and then I can swoop up precious baby luke to use him to get some of the ulta's I'm not close with out. For now, me, Katie, Carson, and charlotte are going for Jordan unless something drastic happens. 

I'm tired and I've been essentially goating myself this game yikes 

So at this point, it's the morning of the first merge tribal. Exciting? Yes! Nerve-wracking? Yes! Willow won immunity. I lowkey was going to force a tie because I know any intellectual could get 5 at most (Willow's smart, so I just expected it) then her comp adv. of -2 would ensure her a win since 3 is theoretically impossible. SHE GOT TWO! Good on her though! I overall chose not to snatch her score because I felt really bad, and it was with someone whom I potentially was going to work it or would work with. Speaking of, Willow, Carson and I formed a trio alliance. We both comprehend that the two Copa need to go soon. I think it'll be Jordan Pines this vote. However, a) I don't want Luke to go JUST yet, as we can utilize him, and b) the votes might flip and ADIOS me! I also have worrying speculation of an alliance including the newbies. This is purely because of whom Chris decided to take on his little... trip to the wishing well. It's just a little suspicious, considering Carson admitted to me he talks to Chris relatively every other day, so it was shocking. Nonetheless, it's a game decision, doesn't matter much.. My game plan from this point forward is to just try to be fairly more social. I've been talking to Chris and Katie a lil more. I'm on relatively good terms with Luke. Carson and I are best buddies. Willow is a LEGEND! - then we have Bryce, a king who I don't talk to much but is iconic. Charlotte, a literal icon. Jordan Pines! (that name along speaks for itself). It's going, I guess. We'll see ^-^

So I finally found the wishing well thing and I completed my task yay!! I can now see who votes who for one tribal but idk when im gonna use it tbh. I think I'll tell carson about it b/c hes my number 1. But for this vote i'm hoping itll be easy and be one of jordan/luke just gotta talk to the other ulta people.

Okay so I think its just gonna be the easy vote of Jordan? Hope its not too easy and im not too complacent

Here's the thing. Anyone who has ever played with me before, or knows me, knows that I pretty much play the same game. I stick with my alliance and only turn on them when I need to ... I'm not one for cannibalizing the alliance too early. But ... I'm bored. Everyone's quiet, no one's exciting me, and I really just want to watch the world burn. Do I like Jordan? Eh. Will he make the season more exciting? Absolutely. If I can convince Katie and Carson, or maybe Zach, to vote for Jordan ... the game will flip upside down.  I'm here for a little Chaos. 

is Jordan gonna die tonight? the answer probs wont surprise you as YES. AHHHHH. IM GOING HOME FUCK FUCK FUCK ME, FUCK YOU RYAN TEDDY PALMER. I am trying to save myself but i may be all out of lives.

I'm watching Shookstralian Survivor and writing a confessional, I hear this episode is iconic so I'm preparing! Michelle is winning btw! Okay so back to Cordillera Blanca...I didn't win immunity...Jordan didn't win immunity which means that both of us are vulnerable at tribal and one of us could potentially be going home tonight which is worst case scenario. As of now I think the votes are going to Jordan and I would be open to playing my idol on him but I would need to be 100% certain that I'm not getting votes because I DO NOT want to idol myself out. If I lose Jordan this round I do still have my Golden Monkey Idol to fall back on at the next tribal council so hopefully that work out in my favour. Right now Jordan and I are trying to pull in Charlotte, Katie and Zach to make a majority of 5 so that we can take over this tribe. Stay tuned...;) 

Did Jordan just save himself? MAYBE?????? If all goes according to plan,  me zach luke, charlotte and carson will vote for chris and blindside him 5-4. So #letsnotkilljordanpines

Omg so I have a randomized vote this round which really sucks but I sent in a fake vote so if people ask I can hopefully trick them also I'm shook I won immunity with4 guesses

So... charlotte wants to flip and zach does too which.. i gues?? djksd we with jordan andl uke.. a VERY tight duo pretty much, and its gonna be hard to break that, so we cant let them get far. but getting chris out right now?? idk if its right. im still a bit bitter over him not taking me to the wishing well [3:59:22 PM] Jordan Pines: same here <3 [4:00:34 PM] carson: (y) if i hear anything i tell u but just know I'm down with u lukle charlotte and zach [4:00:46 PM] Jordan Pines: same here <3 also jordan sent the same message to me twice which.. kinda shady but like i hope its not anything bad?? if he rats us out i dont think im the biggest target but like.. ya never know in this game. also idk if my social game is good bad or whatever, buti m hoping its good and it can propel me to a victory?? zach keeps saying hes my lapdog andj ust.. uh i dont want that i want to be equal allies. whatevs?? idk. also willow's vote is apparently randomized from what zach said and charrlote found where the iodl was hidden but it waas found so someone else has it... so idk. IDK i feel like flipping on the entire tribe and doing 5-4 the first vote is soooo risky. im thinking that me/zach can tell willow we're voting chris even though her vote is randomzied so she cant rlly do anything?? she doesnt talk  a lot of strategy because she takes awhile to respond but she's cool and id definitely say i trust her more than most people here. like bryce, i cant read him or chris. katie's cool but i feel like shes a bit fake to me like saying how much she trusts me when we dont talk that much?? and charlotte/jordan/luke just give weird vibes idk. only person i trust 100% is zach ig uess because we talk 24/7 and hes cool. hope this vote can go as planned, and im still kinda having cold feet, but like... i dont wanna lose jury votes so i either commit or go home.

hi can i have an episode title i came up with someone very clever here it goes: Why are all my tribe mates children like hey whats up welcome to lord of the fucking flies.

So this vote for the longest time was going to be Jordan. I was going to stick with it, but knowing me, I don't like boring games and it'd be predictable to do that. Charlotte came to me about voting out Chris. Not that directly, I guess, but mentioned flipping. I was down for it, but I wanted to talk to Carson. LUCKILY, she wanted to include Carson to, so we made an alliance ^-^ I believe right now the vote is sailing for Chris. I feel bad but it's the game, and you gotta do what you gotta do. No hard feelings. The game is tough. WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS ALL THE TIME ARGHGH