#world beard day 2023

[stelly38]

A month out, my stats from World Beard Day. I only counted photos that I uploaded from scratch, rather than reblog pics that already had notes on them.

Leading the pack-by a lot-is that smoking hot photo from Sara Dunn, where he just looks like pure sex. Completely unsurprised this was the most popular, with 77 notes. And counting.

Pool table Aidan was second. Due to the tight shirt? No idea.

A tie for 3rd, between a photo of him in a camel overcoat at some event (Odessa, I think), and a gif from Leonardo.

I was surprised that 4th place was such a popular picture, where he's in the audience at Odessa. No idea why, unless it's due to the fact that I used it as my last WBD picture for the day. ?

My own photos from the Lemons stage door in 5th.

And a very sexy, be-turtlenecked CFM stare in 6th from some fashion editorial.

Beard day, once again, brought out people I've never interacted with on tumblr. I'm guessing it's got to be the tags.

[spongeyspot]

can I please have some Arthur Morgan headcanons? here’s some ideas for it

His experience at a target

getting a little treat after a hard day of work

being a passenger princess

basically following his new “caretaker” around while he figures out the modern world.

1890s!Arthur being thrown into the modern world HC

A/N: I'm gonna go with the last two bc I find it so funny. ALSO: I should clarify, that this isn't a relationship hc. The reader (You/yours pronouns) is g/n, and Arthur becomes their roommate

(And they were roommates...)

Arthur Morgan was in the blast zone of Francis Sinclair's time machine and accidentally hitched a ride to the year 2023.

- Gets hit by (your) a car when he wandered into the street

- It took him quite a bit to come to terms that this place was not the one he once knew

- Wants to get home so badly, but it seems he's stuck. He can't find Vincent Sinclair anywhere.

- He seeks out your help and at first, when he explains his predicament, you think he's a crazy homeless guy

- He tries to go off on his own to figure things out but comes back immediately because things have changed so much from the place he once knew.

- He also almost got hit by another car

- You decide you want to show Arthur the finer things in life, first starting with getting vaccinated... God knows how many diseases Arthur would be exposed to, let alone the ones he already has.

- Also a toothbrush because his breath is probably rancid

- He sleeps on your couch for a while

- eventually moves into your spare bedroom and starts having to pay some of the rent

- He'd have to work under the table because his birth certificate says he was born in 1864...

- Probably gets a job with Construction or Bartending

- Also, clean slate? No Bounty! Hell yeah!

- tends to follow you everywhere because he likes how you explain modern life to him

- You got him a cell phone.

- He's never trying to be funny when he asks questions

- "What the hell is a "tik-tok"?"

- "Blue-tooth? Never heard of that, only gold ones... I used to sell em'."

- "And you can just.. talk to this? And it'll bring ya food?? Whenever ya want???"

- holds the phone pinched between two fingers on either side like he's holding a pair of dirty underwear and starts to yell at it that he wants some steak

- Absolutely blown away by pizza

- Astonished when he sees no horses, just giant metal boxes with wheels that seem to move on their own.

- When you explain how it worked and what it was, he called it a "magic stagecoach" for a while

- Passenger princess

- fascinated by modern music. It just comes out of your magic stagecoach with the press of a button?

- Huge Bon Jovi fan. his favorite song is "Wanted Dead or Alive".

- asks "What does this button do?" seconds before he presses it

- holds the "oh shit" handle in your car at all times.

-The first time he was in your car he probably actually screamed

- you got him an electric beard trimmer for Christmas and he acted like you handed him a gold ingot

- quite honestly starts to warm up to the domestic life. having to rob and steal to keep himself alive weighed on him way more than he liked to admit.

- adores movie nights. Movies in the 1900s-2023 are incredibly different than the motion pictures he was used to.

- after he gets used to this new world, he WANTS A MOTORCYCLE SO BAD but opts for a pickup truck instead because it's more convenient

- Insists on cooking dinner on the weekends

- didn't understand your gas stove the first time and he almost blew up your apartment

[yandere-kokeshi]

How would Yandere Price and Soap and König react to their darling being a cannibal. Like, the boys find out, and the darling is like, “it’s okay! I only eat bad guys, tho! So don’t be worried 😋😋”

— Yandere Price, Soap, and König with a cannibal gn darling

Warnings: yandere behavior, talks about eating humans and slight violence. 

A/N: This is the most chaotic ask I’ve gotten, and I’m here for it. Enjoy!

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish:

The most dominant side-eye. He’s skeptical, a bit uncomfortable… However, if it satisfies your needs, then why not? Plus, you said you weren’t eating innocents, and you’re doing a favor for the world by getting rid of bad guys, no?

His first question is how do you get the meat. And if he hears you’re getting it from the black-market, or you go out killing on the register, it makes him feel odd. Regardless of the answer, he fits in that he’ll gladly kill for you. It’s all laughter, until he comes inside the house the next day, dragging a black-bag shaped like a body…

Of course, he worries about you. He understands the human body, and how much iron and fat is in the body, which in many cases, causes you to get sick. 

Johnny won’t join your diet, but will happily help you cook. He’s fine with helping out, adding seasoning and such with a big smile as the two of you take time with each other. 

Honestly interested in what made you decide on cannibalism. Did you grow up that way? Did someone or something initiate it? Or was it a day when you woke up, and randomly decided on? Johnny is all up to hearing about it, regardless of the time it takes, and finds it fascinating whilst listening to you. 

John “Captain” Price:

Just blinks at you, hand scratching at his beard with a small ‘huh’ grunting out. 

He’s definitely weirded out by it. It’s something he wasn’t expecting to find out, or hearing those words come out from you. He tries to talk to you, asking why or when you started doing it; gently suggesting to you that you should stop and the reasons as to it. But, sooner or later, he accepts it, shrugging his shoulders and going on along with it. 

Another one that will not be joining your diet. He gags at the glazed image, and it makes him uncomfortable. However, he’s open to helping you cook, but will be eating the ‘other’ meat you’re not so fond of. 

While John isn’t a fan of you eating humans, he’s also one to recommend if you want him to find someone for dinner. He enjoys pampering you, and if he hears a yes, a friend that openly flirts with you is gone — and so are many others that Price sees as a threat.  

Definitely learns to be more open about it, and sometimes forgets you openly eat it, until the time comes when he’s butchering.  

König:

As long as you don’t jokingly say you’ll eat him, he’s weirdly fine with it. He just nods, rambling in Denglish, before asking questions to ensure he understands you correctly. 

König is fascinated by the human body, which means he understands that certain organs can easily poison you with how many substances it holds. This said, he worries over what you eat — coming into the kitchen to ask if he can cook the meals for you. Within 30+ minutes, König shows that he can make dishes like a tier-5-restaurant rating. 

He loves seeing your reaction to his cooking, smiling at himself with your humming, and always makes a bigger gourmet for a second plate. 

In a way, this giant enjoys knowing this secret. It’s to you and him only, and he loves preparing lunch or dinner with the specific meat. He’s also open to trying the meat you so like, and if he does? Well, that makes two of you a team, doesn’t it? 

Will gladly kill anyone for you. Open to killing the bad, the in-between, and the good if you so ask. However, König tends to go for people who deeply annoy him. 

—

Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking. It helps me as a creator!! Stay well!!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[fox-guardian]

[ID: A digital drawing in monochrome brown of Jon and Martin meeting The Admiral in the eyepocalypse. Jon is a short Arab man with medium dark skin, long curly white hair with black streaks half pulled into a bun, a full beard, half-moon glasses, various scars, and he is wearing a black turtleneck and long coat. Martin is a taller man with short hair. The Admiral is a giant cat with striped fur and light areas on his underside, his face, his ears, and the tip of his tail. He also has pale whiskers on his muzzle and eyebrows. His eyes are reflecting the light and two pointy teeth are visible.

The Admiral rests in a loaf position, swishing his tail and smiling and going "MOW!" while Jon and Martin stand in front of him as little silhouettes, arms out in surprise. To the left is a close-up doodle of Jon's face, mouth agape and eyes wide with heart-shaped sparkles and little hearts next to his face. end ID]

~~~~

HAPPY @jonsimsandcats DAY 2023 GAMERS!! i wasn't sure what to draw but then i remembered i never drew Big Admiral so here he is <3 jon could not be happier to see the state of his boy in this horrible world

[flightlessangelwings]

Ktober 2023 Day 12- Formal Wear

Duke Leto Atreides x fem!reader

Word count- 1.5k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), established relationship, reader wears a dress but it's not described to it's open for interpretation, praise kink, no use of y/n

Notes- I wasn't originally going to write for Leto but I was suddenly in the mood and this prompt fits so well! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

~

“My love are you read…” Duke Leto’s voice trailed off as he stepped through the threshold to your room and admired your figure in the low light.

“I am,” you turned around with a soft smile on your face. But, you looked down in embarrassment when you saw the way the Duke looked at you.

He looked at you in your formal dress as if he could devour you with his eyes. He looked at you as if he were a teenager again with no control of his expression. He looked at you as if he wanted to pounce on you and ravish you then and there. 

And pounce on you he did.

Leto crossed the room in a flash as instant grabbed you and yanked you against him, “My love,” he purred as he kissed your neck, “You look divine.”

You yelped at the sudden action, but quickly dissolved into a fit of giggles as his lush beard tickled your skin. Your skin warmed under his touch, and his gaze, and your heart fluttered at the way the normally composed man completely lost his cool at the sight of you all dressed up.

“My Lord,” you hummed, letting out a soft moan when he licked at a sensitive spot on your neck, “If we don’t go now, we’ll be late.”

“I don’t care,” Leto’s tone was low as he kissed his way up your neck and palmed your breasts through your dress.

“But,” you moaned as your mind swam, “It’s to honor you,” you squeaked when he dipped his hand under your dress, “We… Oh…”

“It doesn't matter to me,” the Duke said in a voice that made you clench your thighs together, “My love, all I care about right now,” he growled, “Is fucking you in this dress.”

“My Lord,” you whispered.

“Say my name,” he demanded softly, “I want to hear you say my name.”

“... Leto.”

He pulled his hand out to grab your hips and yanked you even closer so that your chest was flush against his. Leto took the opportunity when you dropped your mouth open in a silent gasp to take your lips with his. The kiss was deep and desperate and heated. His hands stayed firm on your hips to keep you close, as if he couldn’t get you close enough. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth, playing with your own tongue as he did so. Leto kissed you as if it were the first time, and to him every time he got to kiss you felt like the first time all over again.

Being with you never got old to Leto, and he craved you more and more with each passing day. Which was why when he saw you all dressed up in your best gown, he lost all his composure. The reception, the honor, the rest of the universe could wait. You were his entire world at that moment.

“Let me see how beautiful you are,” he purred as he broke away. Leto let you step back just enough so he could take in the sight of you once more, but he never let go of his grip on your hips.

“Leto,” you playfully chastised him from the way he not so subtly looked you up and down. But, you also took the moment to get a better look at him in his best uniform. Leto was always handsome to you, but the sight of him in formalwear took your breath away. Suddenly you didn’t care about the reception either. “You’ve never looked more handsome, Leto,” you cupped his face.

He smiled, a big beautiful smile that not many got to see, “My love,” he murmured before he took your lips once more.

This time, the kiss was deep and slow, and Leto dipped his hands underneath your gown once more. You clung to his shoulders as you adjusted yourself to give him better access. And when his fingers made contact with your clit, you squealed into his mouth.

Leto hummed in approval as he fiddled with your clit gently. You felt his smile even when his lips never left yours, and you tugged at his jacket to pull him closer to you. It started a dance between the two of you- you pulled him closer, and Leto pushed you towards a destination. Neither of you ever fully broke away from the other as you ran your hands all across his chest and his stayed between your legs.

When you bumped into the desk in the far end of the room, you knew exactly what Leto had in mind. Without needing to look, you leveled yourself up onto the desk, with his help. That was the first time the two of you broke away from each other.

You looked at each other, breathless, for a few moments. Leto’s neatly done hair fell forward and the greyed curls framed his face. He looked like living art. His already dark eyes were blown black with desire and his parted lips let out his heavy breaths. Your breasts rose and fell with your own deep breaths, and you saw his eyes trail down to watch the sight.

“Like what you see?” you asked playfully.

“Very much,” he groaned as he leaned in to kiss you once more.

Passions rose as Leto pushed your dress up your legs while your tongues tangled together. He swallowed the moan you let out as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in close, as you parted your legs for him. A wordless invitation that Duke Leto eagerly took.

“I need you, my love,” he confessed in a hushed tone when he broke away for a breath.

“I need you,” you echoed as your foreheads pressed together while Leto unbuckled his pants and freed his cock. Instantly, your eyes landed on his hardened length, already throbbing and ready for you. “Please,” you begged in a whisper.

“You never have to ask me, my love,” Leto groaned as he pumped his cock a few times before he lined himself up with your pussy, “Fuck you’re so wet already.”

“Leto…” you whimpered as he slowly started to push into you.

You held onto him for dear life as his cock entered your pussy inch by delicious inch. You cried out as the familiar stretch burned so good. Incoherent babbles dripped from your lips as Leto fully sheathed himself inside of you.

“Fuck,” you breathed when he bottomed out inside of you.

Neither of you took anything off, and it only made the moment more meaningful. There you both were, dressed in your best, fucking on Leto’s desk. The desperation felt too great, and both of you were too turned on by the other in their formalwear to even want to take anything off.

Leto mumbled a praise as he started rocking in and out of you. He grabbed your ass and used the leverage to yank you closer, burying himself even deeper inside you. You cried out in pleasure as you clung to his shoulders and surrendered yourself to him. It was easy for you to relinquish control when it came to him, you trusted him, you loved him.

“Love,” Leto grunted, “You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you,” you moaned as the room spun with every thrust of his cock. As Leto picked up his pace, desperate for release, you started to feel that familiar tingle build from deep within you, “Leto… Fuck… I’m gonna cum.”

“Cum for me, my love,” he grunted as he pulled you closer and pounded into you, “Let me feel you.”

You screamed and threw your head back as your climax hit. Your legs trembled on either side of Leto’s body as you came hard, squeezing his cock as you did so. Leto wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close as possible while you rode out your orgasm on his cock until yo uhad no more left to give.

And that was when Leto finally let himself go. With a groan of your name, he came just as hard. His cock twitched inside you as he spilled himself in your pussy. He continued to spill incoherent praises as he thrust himself into you over and over again, riding out his own orgasm.

When he himself was spent, Leto reeled forward, keeping you in his arms as he did so. The two of you collapsed down onto his desk and let out heavy pants as you let your heart rates go down to normal.

“We really will be very late now, you know,” you said with a laugh.

“It doesn’t matter,” Leto pushed himself up onto his elbows to look at you, “You are always worth it, my dear.”

You looked at him with a pleading expression as you cupped his face, stroking his beard under your fingers, “So are you,” you gently guided him down to kiss you once more, “So are you, my love.”

[holylulusworld]

Rekindle - Flufftober 2

Summary: Thor and you meet again.

Pairing: Chubby!Thor Odinson x Exgirlfriend!Reader

Square 13 filled for @avengersbingo (expired): Reunited

Square 15 filled for @marvelfluffbingo (expired): old flame

Square 6 filled for @anyfandomgoesbingo: Free Space

Warnings: Thor has low self-esteem, fluff, a tiny hint of naughtiness, mentions of past breakup, a hint of harassment towards chubby Thor

Rating: Mature

Trope: Reunion

Words: 1029

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

The wind blows a little harder today, but you still smile.

Fall finally arrived, and you are giddy like a child to collect leaves and visit the pumpkin patch.

The world changed once again. The world order was restored.  People came back, and everyone got a second chance.

Even if you are not the lucky one who got her true love back, you’re happy for the others having the chance to love each other again.

“Another one, please,” you dip your head as a familiar voice catches your attention. It comes from one of the seats outside your favorite bakery. “It’s delicious, ma’am.”

You step closer, eyes glued to the man ordering another slice of pumpkin pie. “Thor?” You blink a few times. He’s still as handsome as you remember, but he’s got a belly now.

A thick blonde beard frames his face, and he’s got long dreadlock-style blonde hair. He looks different, but his eyes are the same.

“It’s really you!” you smile widely and hug Thor before he can react. “It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

“Y/N?” He gasps as you won’t let go of him. “I-I’m good. Uh-I try to get in shape again and find a place where I belong.”

“Whoa, a lot is going on in your life.” You let go of Thor and smile at him. “I heard what happened to Asgard. I’m so sorry, Thor.”

“It’s…we found a new place. We’re about to build a new home for the survivors,” Thor drops his eyes to his belly. “I’m not the man you used to know, huh?”

“Why are you saying this?” You sit on the free chair at his table. “Did you change so much? I can still see the kind man I met five years ago.”

“You’re too kind to speak the truth. Look at me, dove. I’m fat and useless,” he sighs deeply. “I just can’t find a reason to…” Thor shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You didn’t bother me at all, Thor,” you reach out to touch his hand. “We all have ups and downs. You’ve lost so much. No one could endure such pain without losing hope. But I know you are strong enough to overcome all of this.”

“I lost more than hope,” he sheepishly admits. “There is nothing worth living for any longer. Most of my days I spend at the café, eating more food to fill the emptiness inside of me.”

“Thor, in front of me still sits the man sweeping me off of my feet,” you squeeze his hand. “If you want to have a slice of pie, I can keep you company. I wanted to have some tea and pumpkin pie too before I go to the pumpkin patch.”

“Pumpkin patch?” Thor’s eyes sparkle.

He remembers how you invited him to go to a pumpkin patch before your relationship fell apart. Thor had to leave to help Asgard and didn’t return for almost a year.

Jane Foster came back into the picture, and before he knew it, you broke up. You didn’t want to share his heart with another woman or spend years apart from the man you love.

“YES! They got the best pumpkins, or so I heard. I want to find the perfect pumpkins to decorate my store and home,” you hastily explain. “You know how I get when it comes to decoration.”

“I remember,” he flashes you a smile, making his cheeks dimple. Thor places one hand on his belly, sighing once again. He’s not the good-looking man you dated years ago in his opinion.

You smile at Thor as the waitress places the plate with the pie in front of him. She looks Thor up and down, judging him for ordering another slice of pie by dropping her eyes on his belly. The woman shakes her head before turning her attention toward someone yelling at her.

“I…you recognized me,” he whispers to not catch the waitress’s attention. “People these days don’t do this often.”

“Why wouldn’t I recognize you, Thor?” You frown deeply. “You’re still my Thor. Of course, I recognized you, dummy.” You grin.

“Y/N, you don’t have to pretend. I know how I look,” Thor mumbles. He dares not to meet your eyes; afraid he’ll see what he sees in most women's eyes these days. Rejection and disgust.

“Thor, you should know me better,” you get up from your chair to cup his face to look Thor deep in the eyes. “I always admired and loved the man you are, not how you looked. He’s still there, I can see him in your eyes. You lost your way for a moment, but you will find your footing and get back on your feet. And I like me a cozy belly to…”

“…to what?” He furrows his brows when you dip your head to whisper something far from innocent in his ear while you run your hand over his belly. Thor gulps hard, suddenly feeling hungry for something else than pie. “Oh—”

“If you are free, you could join me to choose the pumpkins for decoration and pie, and later, we can go for a walk and collect a few colorful leaves.”

“I’d like that,” Thor watches you sit back down, a content smile on his face. “How many pumpkins do you need?”

“Enough for two,” you return his smile, feeling your heart flutter when Thor grabs your hand to hold it like he used to do.

Maybe this is the chance you have been waiting for.

Thor is back in your life, and you’d be damned if you let him walk out on you ever again. You’ll give him something that he’s longing for.

A home and someone who’ll love him unconditionally…

Tags in reblog.

[anna-hawk]

You tell me you hate me [Yeah, I bet you do]

Shane Walsh x F!Reader

Summary: You and Shane never got along, yet desperate circumstances make you cross an unexpected line.

Warnings/Tags: Post ZA, Canon typical violence, Enemies to lovers, Near-death experience, Hate sex, Bearded Shane

WC 9,7k // Explicit 🔞

Written for the Beardthal Bash 2023

Read it on AO3

“No… Absolutely not.” 

You crossed your arms resolutely as you stared Rick down, the man standing across from you at the large table in the Greene dining room. He closed his eyes and rubbed over them as he sighed your name pleadingly. 

“Listen, I know that you don’t like him-”

“Trust me, it’s very much mutual,” you ground out under your breath with your top lip curling up in distaste. 

“So you know I wouldn’t be askin’ you if I had another option,” Rick continued without missing a beat. 

You gave him a surly look before looking down at the large map lying unfolded on the table. Various circles and other notes were scribbled all over it, highlighting spots with existing or possible food, ammunition and fuel supplies, as well as information on walker hordes and so on. 

“Everyone is gone doin’ something else and… I’d go myself if Judith wasn’t-”

“No, you can’t leave her alone,” you cut in, your voice softening at the mention of the baby. “She needs you.” 

You gritted your teeth as you thought. 

Running across the Greene Farm several months earlier with your little group of four friends, you hadn’t expected to find a lasting shelter and people that would quickly become the next best thing to a family. Especially since things had been tense, to say the least, when you’d arrived. Between Rick and Shane, in particular, since the two leaders of the group hadn't always seen eye to eye. Shane had been less than thrilled at the idea of letting you join, while Rick had tried to convince everyone that having more people around to help would be beneficial to everyone in the long run. Hershel Greene had been the one to put a stop to the argument, reminding Shane that he’d decided to open his doors for them just a couple of months earlier and that he’d be doing the same for you. Shane had left the room in a huff, muttering about more mouths to feed. While you’d understood his concerns, his aggressive behavior had your hackles rising instantly and fighting down the urge to snap back. Still, you’d felt beyond relieved to be invited to stay. Shane had ultimately stopped complaining when your group had proven its worth more than once over the following weeks. 

With you personally, it was an entirely different story. You and Shane never managed to get along. After that first day, the man’s attitude had kept rubbing you the wrong way. Simply put, he was an utter asshole, and you’d made sure he was aware of it any chance you got. Whether he liked it or not. Whenever you were in the same room, discussing chores and missions alongside Hershel, Daryl, Rick and Hunter, one from your original group, you’d end up sniping at each other. Whatever the one said or suggested, the other would find something to complain about. It wasn’t like you couldn’t admit that he came up with clever plans or that he was generally good at keeping everyone safe, it was more his snide remarks and the way he tried to mansplain everything. It made you feel like you needed to take him down a peg. 

A few weeks after your arrival, things changed between Rick and Shane on the day you all found out that Lori was pregnant. Rick had almost lost it at the idea of them having a child in this terrible new world, especially after coming so close to losing Carl, as you’d found out a few days after settling in. Yet, while the close call had clearly done something to Rick and Shane’s friendship, maybe triggering their fights because of how they suddenly viewed things, this news changed their relationship again. You didn’t know what had happened between them after they’d found out, but things had gotten better between the two men. While their relationship had slowly been mending, you sometimes felt like Shane was only able to get along with Rick again because he was fighting with you instead. 

Looking at the map now, you checked the distance separating you from the nearest general store that you knew still had food and other goods, like baby formula, among other things. A pang of sadness ran through you at the reminder that little Judith didn’t have her mother anymore. 

“Can’t I just go on my own?” you mumbled, knowing full well that you couldn’t with how far and dangerous the road was. 

“Told ya she wouldn’t like it.” 

Shane stepped through the dining room doors and joined Rick’s side, his eyes on you and a scowl tugging down his lips, the expression almost hidden in his beard. Almost. This winter had proven to be colder than the previous ones, and both Rick and Shane had let their beards grow out. While Rick’s was lighter and less long, Shane’s beard was thick and matched his curly dark hair. 

“Sure, because you like the idea of spending hours alone with me in a car,” you sneered with a roll of your eyes. Shane’s nostrils flared, and his eyes darkened unhappily at the prospect. “Yeah, thought as much,” you scoffed and returned your attention to Rick, who sighed at the two of you but focused on the map, understanding that the matter was settled, and you would go with Shane. 

“‘kay… You’ll need to take the pickup. Hershel said that the generator’s nearly out of fuel, so are a couple of the cars, and that place…” He pointed at the gas station across from the general store. “Still had some of the bigger gas cans the last time we checked it.” 

Picking up the list with the items you were supposed to find off the table, you quickly scanned it and nodded before turning your back on the men. 

“Meet me at the car in an hour,” you told Shane without a backward glance, it was late morning and the quicker you left, the sooner you’d be back and out of each other’s hair.  

His lack of answer was answer enough, so you left the room to get ready for the trip. 

Back in the room you shared with some of the other women, you dressed according to the situation before you headed to the makeshift armory to pick out a couple of guns and knives. 

“Going out too?” 

You turned to find your friend Nicole standing in the doorway, one of her arms in a sling. She’d nearly gotten bit by a walker the previous week and thankfully only came out with a sprained shoulder. 

You nodded briefly and returned your attention to checking the bullets in the magazine and adding a few when you noticed that it wasn’t full. 

“What’s wrong? I’d have thought you’d be happy to get out of here for a bit.”

You huffed out a small laugh through your nose at her remark. She really knew you well. 

“I’m going with Shane,” you said simply, as you turned around, knowing that it would be enough to explain your mood. 

Sure enough, she grimaced. “Oh.” 

It was no secret to anyone how Shane and you felt about each other. But you were actually the odd one. As with most people in the group, except for Dale, since the older man had a penchant for being nosy, and you didn’t enjoy that about him either, Shane actually got along with Nicole rather well. It was the same for her sister Jasmine, and just as much for Hunter. They’d been as angry as you about Shane’s behavior at the start, but they’d all warmed up to the man quickly enough after a while, and it had gone both ways. Jasmine and Shane had even flirted around for a bit, before Hunter had come through and snatched her away, much to Andrea’s relief, who’d seemed to carry a torch for Shane for a while. Objectively speaking, you’d have been interested as well had Shane not been… Shane. While you shared most of your thoughts with Nicole, you certainly hadn’t admitted to finding Shane attractive. Even less about how good the beard looked on him.

“Yep.” You finished with the guns and put them into their holsters at your hips, along with a knife, while the other one went to an ankle. 

“Shit… I’m sorry. I wish I could go and-” she started, fidgeting with the sling at your situation. 

“Hey, no, no.” You gently grabbed her by her good shoulder and clasped the hand of the injured one as you gave her a reassuring smile. “It’s fine, don’t worry, okay?” 

Nicole sighed and nodded. “Maybe… try not to kill each other?” she smiled feebly, as you let go of her, and she watched you walk past her and to the main hall. 

You snorted loudly. “No promises there.” You briefly turned towards her again and gave her a small smile. “See you later.” 

Your last stop was the small box sitting against the entrance door wall, containing all the car keys. Opening it, you grabbed the key ring for the pickup and made your way outside, glad that the weather was sunny even if the temperature was rather crisp. 

Before the whole hour had gone by, Shane joined you at the car, rifle slung over his shoulder as he stalked towards you with a duffle bag in his other hand. 

“Where are the keys?” he barked, putting his stuff in the bed of the pickup except for the rifle. 

You lifted a fist in front of you and opened the palm, letting the keys dangle from the ring sitting around your finger. 

“I’m driving,” you smirked, snapping your hand closed before Shane could get the idea of taking them from you.

“Ah, Christ,” he groused, throwing you a dirty look before heading towards the passenger side and climbing in with the gun. 

Grinning in satisfaction at his reaction, you took your seat behind the wheel and started the car. You drove down the small dirt road that led to the gate and found Dale checking the perimeter. He picked up his pace to reach the gate and opened it for you. The older man grinned at you before he noticed Shane, his smile turning into an apprehensive expression. You opened the window as you rolled up to him. 

“Rick said you’d be heading out but…” he said as he looked through the window, his voice trailing off. You could still hear the ‘I didn’t know it would be with Shane’ part. “You be careful, alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Shane grumbled with a roll of his eyes, while you just gave Dale a tight smile and a nod. 

Nodding in silence, Dale stepped back while you pressed the button to get the window back up and drove through the gate. 

“Meddlin’ ol’ man,” Shane muttered to himself, as he stared out his side of the car. 

You didn’t say anything, agreeing with him for once. 

After driving for a long while in complete silence without meeting any walkers, you turned at an intersection. Shane sat up straighter from the slumped position he'd been in and looked around himself. 

“What are you doin'?” he snapped.

You glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “Driving to the store?” you replied with a tone that clearly stated ‘duh’. 

“Exactly. You shouldn’t have turned here. See, this is why I should’ve driven cause-”

“Oh, fuck you, Shane,” you bit back. “FYI, if you’d checked the map, you’d know that this is actually a shortcut. Trust me, this’ll save us at least twenty minutes.” 

“Trust you,” he rumbled under his breath, while his eyes kept checking your surroundings. 

You lifted your eyes heavenwards and sighed, mentally preparing yourself for his explanation of why he did, in fact, not trust you at all. To your surprise, though, he didn’t say anything else and only put his chin in his palm, his elbow on the door as he looked ahead. 

As promised, you arrived at the store earlier than through the original route. Since Shane had accepted your decision without too much complaining, you chose to pay him back by not going ‘I told you so’, like you actually wanted to. Instead, you parked at the gas station and slowly got out of the car, your knife in the hand under the one holding the gun. Throwing a quick glance at Shane, he nodded at you in silent understanding as you both moved to the front of the car and then took each one side of the building to inspect it. You came back to the entrance at about the same time, and Shane pushed the glass door open with a little more noise than necessary to lure any potential walkers out. Shane went in first, while you checked your back before following him inside. 

A gurgling sound came from your left. Two walkers slowly stumbled towards you, one in a more advanced state of decay than the other. You and Shane quickly took them out with your knives before you made your way through the couple of aisles to check for any potential items of interest. After several long minutes, in which you did find a few useful things like batteries and the likes, Shane walked up to you with his own large canvas bag in hand. 

“Let’s get this ball rollin’, beautiful, and get the gas,” Shane suggested, as he leaned against the aisle you were inspecting with his shoulder and jerked his chin towards the entrance door. 

“Don’t call me that,” you huffed in annoyance without looking at him as you put one last item in your bag. 

You heard him scoff. “What, you prefer I call you dick or bitch or somethin’?”

Facing him with an exaggerated roll of your eyes, you stared at him with an unimpressed expression. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that. Shane was someone who easily used endearments and pet names, and you knew that it sometimes just slipped out, but considering your relationship, it simply didn’t sound right.

“Well, at least it would be more honest, wouldn’t it? But how about just calling me by my actual name?” 

Shane gave you a long look before he shook his head and laughed through his nose. 

“Y’know, just ‘cause you’re a fuckin’ pain in the ass and I could sometimes…” He made a strangling motion that had you actually snorting because that feeling sure did go both ways. “Don’ change the fact that you are.”

“Are what?” you asked suspiciously. 

“Beautiful.” He shrugged and gave you a quick once over. 

Not having expected that reply at all, your eyebrows lifted high on your forehead. You knew, without a doubt, that he was absolutely honest. Shane wasn’t someone for false pleasantries, and especially not with you. 

“Let’s just go get the gas,” you said after a couple of seconds, as you shook your head in bemusement. 

Shane only nodded and followed you outside to find the gas cans and cylinders. He drove the rear of the pickup closer to where they were stocked to make loading the car easier. There were quite a few cans left, and you felt lucky that your group had stumbled upon this little town on your way to the farm, the place recluse enough that it hadn’t been fully raided yet. Once you were done with the gas, you jogged across the road to the general store and repeated the same process as before to make sure that there was no threat. This time the coast was clear, and you separated again, with each taking a piece of the list to search for what you needed. 

You didn’t know how much time went by, but you did take your time filling the four large bags you had with you. The weather could change any day and the less frequently you needed to leave the farm, the better. Meaning that stocking up as much as possible was the way to go. Seeing how Shane meticulously scanned each aisle, he was thinking the same thing. Coming back to the front of the store, you noticed movement out of your peripheral vision and snapped your attention in that direction. Your eyes widened in terror as you took in what was happening outside. 

“Shane,” you hissed urgently, not daring to look away from the large horde that had slowly snuck up on you and was spreading through town. “Shane,” you said more loudly and finally turned to look at him.

The horde was still far enough away that none of the walkers would have been able to hear you, but you weren’t taking any chances. 

“What?” he snapped, only for his eyebrows to lower in confusion as he saw your expression. 

You saw the second he noticed the horde as his eyes looked past you and they widened like yours had. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, while quickly joining you and checking the scene, the two of you crouching down to be out of sight and peaking around the aisle. 

“There’s no way we can reach the car,” you muttered before throwing a glance at Shane, who was still looking outside, but nodded in agreement. 

You watched the front of the horde surround the pickup as it went past the car and continued ahead of the road. 

“They should just walk past us,” Shane said in a low tone, one hand on his rifle anyway, ready to aim. 

You were about to hum in agreement, when there was a commotion at the gas station and several loud crashes came from where the gas cans and cylinders stood. A few cylinders rolled into the direction of the store, and you cursed yourselves for leaving the empty ones standing next to the pickup instead of putting them away. Some of the walkers must have knocked into them as they passed. To your horror, the noise caused the horde to shift its focus, and some of the walkers began turning towards the store. 

“We gotta move,” you gasped out, as neither of you were able to hide quickly enough and you realized that a handful of walkers had seen you. 

To your surprise, Shane shot forward to the entrance, jumping over the register, instead of following you to the back. About to yell at him for his actions, you saw him locking the doors right before a small dozen of walkers crashed against the windows. 

“That’s only gonna buy us a little time,” he panted, as he ran back to you and you both grabbed the bags to hurry to the other side of the store. 

Sure enough, a few seconds later you could hear thudding sounds coming from the front, as well as cracking glass. If the whole horde pressed against the front side, the glass panels would shatter underneath the pressure, and they’d be able to get in. As the noises got louder and louder, you tried to keep a level head to think. There was an exit at the back, but it was locked, and you wouldn’t have the time to pry the door open before the walkers got in. Or the noise of you trying to open it would lure others around to stop you from leaving. Shane seemed to come to the same conclusion as he stared at the door and then at you. 

“The stairwell’s blocked too,” you sighed, as you leaned against an aisle. 

The store had another floor, with private rooms, you guessed, since the door leading to the stairs had a sign with “Private – No entry” on it. Shane nodded in acknowledgement and leaned back across from you. You felt strangely calm at your imminent death. 

“Can’t believe I’m going to kick the bucket with you,” you chuckled, as you breathed out slowly. 

Shane barked out a sharp laugh. “Could’ve been with Dale,” he smirked, knowing that this was one of the few things you agreed on. 

You snorted loudly and nodded. “Mmh, small mercies and all that, I guess. ” 

Shane hummed, while you leaned your head back and looked at the ceiling. And frowned. Some of the styrofoam tiles had fallen off, showing the metal of the air vents, the cabling… And a large hole to one side, revealing parts of the stairs above. It looked like the wall the stairwell was in had collapsed for whatever reason, and the fallen debris had caused the ceiling to break through. With several of the aisles knocked over and the general state of the store, you hadn’t bothered to check where the rubble lying on the floor had come from. 

“Shane,” you breathed, pointing to the hole in the ceiling. 

His eyes followed the direction your finger pointed at, then he turned to get a better view after realizing what you’d seen. 

“Come on,” he said urgently, as the first crashes of glass started. 

Shane jumped on top of the aisle closest to the opening in the ceiling and reached down a hand for you to pass him the bags. The list fell out of one of your bags and fluttered to the ground. About to grasp Shane’s proffered hand to help you up as well, your eyes picked up one word on the list. The item that you’d been about to get right before you’d seen the horde. 

“Be back in a sec,” you yelled, turning tails and running off, ignoring the sounds of the undead as they walked inside. 

“The fuck are you doing?!” Shane bellowed after you.

You skidded to a halt in the desired aisle, coming face to face with a walker who stumbled in our direction. With a well-placed hit of your knife to his head, it fell to the floor, leaving you to pick up what you’d come for. Turning around to run back to Shane, your path was blocked by three walkers this time, and others coming from the right. Cursing, you turned to the left and then right again, ducking the outstretched hands of some other walkers following you into the aisle you’d just walked in. One of them managed to grab the back of your coat, but before you could turn and do anything about it, another one came in from your other side. The sound of a gun shot rang through the whole store as Shane aimed from his spot on the aisle, taking out one walker after the other as they came at you. This allowed you to jerk free of the loose grip of the now dead walker and dash towards the back of the store, jumping over bodies and avoiding the moving ones, one arm still holding on to a tall container.

“Move, move, move!” Shane barked at you, as you ran up to him at full speed. 

You threw him the container, which he quickly put next to him, before you jumped and caught his hand, the momentum helping him pull you up faster. Shane tugged you upright and shot the walker trying to grab your feet as soon as both of his hands were free again. 

“Get the fuck up there!” he yelled over the noise without looking at you. 

Shane had managed to stash the bags in the opening and you did the same with the container before you grabbed onto the bars that used to hold the large, styrofoam squares to lift you through the ceiling. It took some maneuvering since you had to move over the vents to get to the hole in the wall, but it was doable. After another shot rang out, you got into the best position to aim at the growing throng of walkers gathering at Shane's feet, the aisle rattling precariously now. 

“Move!” you shouted, taking out a walker that was tall and getting too close to Shane for comfort. 

Shane looked up and instantly jumped into action, sliding the rifle through the bars to stop it from falling. He smoothly slipped through the ceiling as well and stared down at the groaning and rasping creatures. 

“Can you reach the stairs or not?” he asked with his eyes still downcast. 

Satisfied that he was safe for now, you put your gun away and started moving further over the vents to reach the stairs. You had to push broken cinder blocks to the side, some falling and taking out other styrofoam squares. It took you a couple of minutes, but you finally managed to squeeze through the opening and land on the stairs. Which led to a closed door at the top. 

“Come on.” You stuck your head back through the hole to look down at Shane, the man working to get the bags over the vents and towards you. 

You took the bags from him one at a time and grabbed his arm to pull him through as well. He leveled you a questioning stare, one eyebrow lifted, as he saw the closed door. Shrugging, you both made your way towards the door. You reached for the handle with a glance at Shane, who slung the rifle into position. The door was thankfully unlocked and opened with a long creak to reveal a small apartment. You stood inside the door for several seconds, waiting in case something moved towards you. Shane gave you a quick nod, so you stepped over the threshold and checked the place. It looked surprisingly untouched, as if the owner had left before anything happened, or they left at the beginning. Considering the damage in the stairwell, something must have exploded close by, yet thankfully left the apartment undamaged. 

“We got water,” you announced with incredulous excitement as you reflexively tested the faucets in the bathroom

“And canned food,” Shane chimed in from the small kitchenette that was sitting to the left of the apartment, while a convertible couch took up the right side with a coffee table and a TV set. 

“It’s like a luxury hotel,” you laughed lightly as you ducked your head to drink straight from the faucet. 

You heard Shane chuckle at your comparison and hum in agreement. While he retrieved the bags, you walked to the long window in the living area and looked outside. 

“Think we’re stuck here for a while,” Shane grumbled after he’d joined you, observing the mass of walkers milling around everywhere. 

You nodded with a sigh. If there hadn’t been the incident with the gas cylinders, the horde would have probably walked through town without stopping and you’d have been safe to leave at some point. You would have had to find a different way home, but you would have managed. Now, who knew how long it would take for enough walkers to wander off for you to leave without being at too much of a risk?

“Jackpot,” Shane suddenly exclaimed, having you remove your attention from the window. 

You turned to find him holding a camping stove. It wasn’t the safest object to use indoors, but it was perfect to heat some of the cans Shane had found in the pantry. Despite the cold outside and the sun setting, you opened the window a crack to let some fresh air in and evacuate most of the carbon monoxide those kinds of stoves could produce. Shane nodded approvingly at that and turned it on after getting a couple of cans and plates. You’d found a large amount of canned food downstairs, but chose to leave the contents of the bags for the farm for now. Shane also found a few packs of tall candles and lit enough of them once the sun had gone down completely for you to walk through the place comfortably. You ate in silence while you also heated a large bucket of water before you checked the place for blankets and potential toiletries. While you did that, Shane took the hot water into the bathroom to clean up a bit. He came back wearing his jeans and a thick sweater that he got from the store. Before taking his place in the bathroom, your eyes caught onto his damp hair and beard, and the way the sweater hugged his broad shoulders and trim waist. Looking away and shaking your head, you closed the door while Shane looked through the items you’d both taken and reorganized them in the bags to make them easier to carry. With a pile of blankets in hand and feeling much better after getting to take the day’s filth off and dressing into fresh clothes as well, you found Shane sitting on the couch and staring down at the container you’d run back for. 

“You risked your life for baby formula,” he stated, his voice giving nothing away, the fire of the candle creating flickering lights on his profile. 

“We’re nearly out and Judith still needs it,” you shrugged, busying yourself with unfolding the blankets. 

“Do you ever think before you act?” Shane growled at how you dismissed his words. 

“What?” you ground out, facing him again. You must have heard him wrong, right? 

“What’s the point of pullin’ a stunt like that if it gets you killed?” 

“It didn’t, did it, though?”

“Because I was there to cover your sorry ass.”

You threw your hands in the air and sighed explosively. 

“Ugh, this is why I don’t like teaming up with you. You always complain about things that might have happened.” 

“No, what you don’t like it that I’m the only one remindin’ you that your actions can have fuckin’ consequences for you or even for all of us. You – don't – think. You just do your thing and expect us to go with it.” 

“You’re a fuckin’ hypocrite, Shane. Bossing everyone around and just deciding for everyone what’s best.” You strode up to him and stared him down. 

He rose to his feet and met your hard gaze head on. 

“Yeah, but I let people know before I do somethin’. But that’s what you don’t like, right? You're too good, too clever to bother listenin’ to others, let alone me.”

“Only because you treat me like I’m some fucking idiot little girl. I’ve gone through just as much shit as you before we got to the farm, but you act like I know shit…”

“No, no, no, I don’t treat you like some fuckin’ idiot little girl. If anythin’, I treat you like a fuckin’ idiot, period. Woman or not, I don’t give a shit. You’re a fuckin’ piece of work, is what you are. You’re so fuckin’ hot headed and stubborn, you just always expect whatever I say to be some kinda bullshit.” 

You bared your teeth at him. “Cause you keep underestimating me. No matter what I say or do, you never trust me from the start… Fuck!” you spat, your temper flaring white-hot. “You drive me fucking crazy.”

Shane watched you intently as you ranted at him, his mouth pulling up into a lopsided smirk.

“Yeah… but you wanna know what pisses you off even more about all this?” Shane asked, his voice lowering as he leaned towards you, his head tilting to one side. 

“Oh, please, do enlighten me,” you scoffed with sarcasm dripping all over your words, but didn’t pull your head away. 

“No matter how much you might hate me… you still wanna fuck me.”

“What?!” you choked on your laugh as you stared at him incredulously. What the hell?

“Come on, you don’t think I noticed, but I see the way you look at me.” He lifted an eyebrow with his smirk still in place. 

“And how exactly do I look at you, pray tell?” you snorted, your mouth pulling up in amusement despite yourself. That wasn’t how you had expected the argument to go. 

Shane nodded his head from one side to the other as if he were thinking about his answer. 

“Definitely like you wanna fight me… but preferably in a bed,” he leered, to which you rolled your eyes with another snort. 

“Hm, you sound awfully sure of yourself,” you humored him with a chuckle, resisting the desire to cross your arms, not wanting to look defensive. 

Shane’s eyes slowly roved over your whole body. Then he moved just slightly closer until your faces were only a few inches apart. 

“Well, haven’t heard you denyin’ it even once, have I?” he rumbled in a low voice. 

You held his gaze defiantly but remained silent as your heartbeat picked up speed. 

“I’m sure you thought of a couple o’ ways to… settle our disagreements,” Shane continued, grinning knowingly. That smug bastard. 

“Sure,” you shrugged. “But I’m not sure you’d like some of the ideas I had,” you hedged, your tone light but your gaze between cutting and sultry. 

Shane laughed under his breath. 

“Ah, come on, Darlin’. Tell me what got your pussy all wet while thinkin' o’ me?”

Heat slowly spread through your face and body at his crass words and direct approach. 

“Did you think ‘bout ridin’ my face to shut me up?”

You managed to school your expression into being neutrally entertained, since Shane had hit dead center with this one. Hearing him speak your most private fantasies out loud had you breathing faster. You’d thought about riding that stupidly beautiful mouth and nose a few times, for sure, but you weren't going to admit to that. 

“Or maybe you’d be so good at suckin’ my cock with that pretty mouth of yours that I'd stop talkin'.”

Smirking and shaking your head, you inclined your head to one side. “To me, it rather sounds like you thought about it quite a bit.” You’d meant for it to come out as a taunt, but your voice came out more breathy, Shane’s words getting to you. 

Shane drew his tongue over the edge of his upper teeth. “Yeah… Maybe I have,” he replied slowly.

You both stood like that, eyes locked and breathing fast, as if in a sort of stand-off; one waiting for the other to move or say something. To give in. You didn't know how long you stood like that, the anticipation rising until it was practically unbearable. You wanted Shane, you could admit it to yourself, but to him? And what about Shane? Despite what he’d said, did he really—

Then Shane’s eyes fell to your mouth. 

As if that look triggered everything into action, you were suddenly on each other, kissing and biting at each other’s mouths. You wouldn’t be able to know who moved first, but something between you had finally snapped with that one look. Hands fisted in shirts and hair or flew over chests and asses, your bodies in constant movement as every moment of conflict between the two of you poured out in that instant. You each fought for dominance, but neither was willing to give in, and it didn’t really matter anyway. It certainly didn’t matter to you. You only needed more of this. It felt incredibly liberating to push against Shane in that way and have him pushing back with just as much strength; just the feeling of his beard scraping against your mouth and chin had your nerve endings on fire. Both sets of hands simultaneously went to the buttons of each pair of jeans, fingers grappling to get them open as fast as possible before you’d even removed your sweaters. Your lips never stopped their hungry and vicious exploration of each other’s mouths as you both shimmied out of your jeans and underwear before stepping out of them. You took the opportunity of Shane getting a foot caught in one pant leg to push him down on the couch. He’d unfolded it into a bed while you’d been in the bathroom, meaning that he had to brace himself with his hands behind himself so he wouldn’t fall flat on his back. With a smirk, you straddled his lap and crushed your mouth into his again. Shane growled and caught you without missing a beat as he sat up and pulled you further down. His hands squeezed your ass as soon as you could feel his hard dick pressing into your crotch. Slightly rocking your hips and sliding yourself over his length – of course that asshole had to have a dick as big as his ego – your hands went to the bottom of his sweater and pulled it up and off, your lips parting for a brief second. A moment later, Shane did the same with your top. Except not entirely. Instead of pulling it off as you lifted your arms, Shane twisted the fabric around your wrists into a sort of bind, stopping you from freeing your hands. He kept you like that, your hands held behind your head before he tugged them back a bit more, forcing you to arch your back, which pushed your chest out. You were now fully naked and sitting astride Shane, but barely able to move. The various candles around you lit up his face and his wolfish grin right before he bent his head towards your breasts. You groaned as he wrapped his lips around one nipple and sucked on it hard. He bit and sucked, nibbled and pinched at each of them, his free hand playing with the one his mouth wasn’t focused on and drawing moans and small cries out of you. 

As much as you enjoyed his mouth and beard on your breasts, you refused to stay bound and unable to move. While Shane was leaving marks all over your chest, you wiggled and twisted your wrists until you were able to slip one hand free. Obviously, had it been a serious situation, you doubted that you’d have been able to get out of Shane’s hold that easily. Between his distraction and the loose fabric of the sweater, however, you soon had a hand between your legs and on his dick. Shane jerked in your hold, his head lifting to your face while he let go of your other hand. Planting your knees more firmly on the bed and putting your weight forward, you pressed at his shoulders with both hands this time, until he fell onto his back. 

“Got some ideas?” he smirked, his tongue dancing over his top lip. 

“Didn’t you say something about shutting you up?” you asked conversationally, as you pressed a biting kiss to his mouth, before you swiftly moved up his body until your knees were at each side of his head.

The way Shane’s eyes lit up as he caught the meaning of your words had your pulse racing in your chest and heat pooling in your center. He apparently had really thought about this scenario before as well. His arms wrapped around your thighs as you lowered yourself over his face. With parted lips, you looked down as you slid your folds over his lips and up over his nose. That ridiculously gorgeous nose. Maybe broad and faintly crooked, but this combined with the slope of it was what made it perfect for exactly what you were doing. It felt even better than what you’d pictured while getting yourself off. Between the physical stimulation and the view, you weren’t surprised to find his nose and mouth already coated in your juices. 

“You're so much easier to be around when your mouth's busy with something else,” you teased, as you repeated the motion with relish. 

Shane shot you a look that had you bracing yourself for an attack, expecting him to hold you still as he ate you out harshly, but he took you by surprise once again. He did hold you in place, but his tongue oh so slowly slid through your lips, parting them, running around them, teasing your entrance before dragging the tip up to your clit with the faintest of touches. With the addition of his beard that he was rubbing maddeningly over your sensitive skin, this actually drove you wilder than if he’d gone fast and hard. Especially, since his eyes never left yours, him watching you watching him. As he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked on it with intent for the first time, he stared at you avidly, clearly getting off on the way your mouth opened further on a long cry of pleasure as you flung your head back in bliss. Leaning your head forward again, you fisted a hand in his hair and pulled his head back to rock your hips into his face harder. 

“Fuck yes, there we go, just like that,” you moaned, picking up speed as you rode his face for real this time when two of his fingers pushed inside you. 

The sensations were incredible as you moved up over his mouth and back down onto his thick fingers, the beard meeting them in the middle. But you needed to wipe that smug look off his face anyway, even as you felt the first signs of your release nearing.

“Mmh… I already liked you better with a beard ‘cause I don’t have to see half your stupid face, but this is a much better way to do it. Look how pretty you are now with my pussy hiding your face,” you taunted right after Shane managed to get another long moan out of you.

As expected, Shane glowered at you, which had you grinning in satisfaction. Except that you cried out in part shock and part outrage a few seconds later as Shane pressed the first knuckle of his thumb inside your ass, the finger wet with your essence. 

“You fucking asshole.” You slapped the top of his head, while Shane laughed darkly against your thigh, before he caught your wrist as you came back for more.

“More like your asshole, Darlin’,” he sneered before continuing. “Thought you’d enjoy it with how you always seem to have a stick up your ass.” 

Growling at him, you tugged at the arm he was holding, intending to hit him again, but Shane held strong this time, and instead, he used his shoulders to unsettle you and flip you onto your back next to him. You landed with a gasp and barely had the time to see him slipping between your legs. Since your mouth was still partly open from your hard breathing, it took Shane no effort to press two fingers between your lips and press them against your tongue. 

“Suck,” he ordered, his eyes dark, as he leaned over you, his body pressing yours down. 

You had half a mind to refuse, but it was the fact that you were sure that he was expecting that from you that had you doing as told. The flavor bursting on your tongue had you realizing that those fingers were the ones that had been inside you just a few moments ago. Keeping eye contact, you moaned around Shane’s fingers as you sucked and pulled at them, and felt satisfied by the answering groan you got in return. 

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Shane cried out a second later, as he pulled his fingers back, which you’d just bitten.

You grinned. You never said that you’d do what he wanted all the way. 

Growling and twisting his fingers in your hair, Shane kissed you harshly, his tongue fighting yours as he moved on his knees to shift his hips closer to yours. Feeling him reaching between your legs to guide himself inside you, you suddenly pushed at him. 

“Wait, wait… Not like that,” you breathed quickly. “Condoms. We should,” you trailed off at Shane’s nod of agreement, which you felt glad about because, as much as you hated to break the flow, there was no way that you were taking any chances. 

“Hold on.” Shane got off the couch and quickly rifled through one of the grocery bags. 

You watched him pull out a foil package and tear it open before he fitted the condom over his cock and knelt back between your parted legs. The way he touched you then and stared down at you irritated you. It wasn’t enough. It was too slow, too… You needed more of what was happening before.

You slapped him, the smack resounding in the small apartment. 

“Don’t you dare go soft on me now, Walsh,” you hissed. 

The slap had barely gotten Shane’s face to move, but it had the desired effect. His eyes flashed in warning, which only had you grinning devilishly, before he snarled and one of his hands went to your neck. The fingers curled around your throat, squeezing just that tiny bit that had you gasping in a sharp breath. 

“You never know went to fuckin’ stop,” he rasped viciously. 

Before you could reply, Shane pushed his hips forward and breached your entrance. He slid in with a long thrust, not bothering to give you any time to adjust to the sudden overwhelming feeling of being so full before he was pounding you into the bed. Your fingers scrabbled to get a hold on his shoulders as you screamed, while Shane slid his arms under your knees to pull your legs further apart and fold you almost in two. 

It felt amazing. Shane fucked you with brute force, his hips slapping against your ass, but the way he was staring down at you, focused on your expression, showed that he wasn’t only aiming for his own release. 

“That what you wanted, Sweetheart? Huh? Me fuckin’ that pretty pussy hard?” he whispered roughly against your lips, his beard tickling your skin. 

You took hold of his face and kissed him deeply in reply, moaning into his mouth with his every thrust. 

“Make me scream, Shane,” you half ordered and half begged, your voice low with want. “Do it.” 

With lust sparking inside his eyes, Shane reared back briefly only to throw your legs over his shoulders, and actually fold you in two this time as he picked up his earlier pace. A loud scream escaped you at the first plunge back inside you, followed by another and another. With his hands now free, one of Shane’s hands returned to your throat, the touch sending shivers down your spine as he fucked you without ever missing a beat, his eyes fixed on yours. You came completely undone a few moments later, the sheer force and intensity of Shane’s thrusts throwing you over the edge and into an orgasm that had you crying out as you could only take what Shane was giving you. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Shane chanted as you tightened some more around him, his movements losing their rhythm for a moment. “So fuckin’ gorgeous like this, fuck!” 

You had your eyes shut as the wave of bliss ran over you, but you forced them open when you felt Shane start to shudder on top of you. You needed to see him come, just like he had wanted to see you. Meeting his gaze, which never seemed to have left your face, you slid your legs from his shoulders and brought them to his still moving hips, and squeezed. 

Shane came with a long hiss of pleasure, his eyes fighting to stay open as you watched each other. 

You remained unmoving as you panted and stared at each other, Shane braced on top of you with his forearms at your shoulders while your hands held on to his biceps. Now that the heat of the moment had gone, you began to feel how cold it was getting in the room. 

After a few more silent seconds, Shane got up without a word and turned away. Exhaling a small breath at the complete change in mood, you rolled off the bed to vanish into the bathroom, picking up your clothes in passing. You used some of the now tepid water remaining from earlier to clean up and caught a glimpse of your messy and fucked out appearance in the mirror. 

“What now?” you muttered to yourself as you stared at your reflection and dressed quickly. 

You shook your head decisively a second later. No, this didn't change anything. It was just sex, nothing more. It had been good, more than good, but that was it. You weren't suddenly going to get along only because you'd fucked once. Shane had to be thinking the same, of that you were certain. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, you found Shane, fully dressed once more, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning over his rifle as he checked it on the coffee table by the light of a couple of candles. He'd also made the bed, and you headed for the side closest to the wall. Shane didn't look up, but it didn’t seem like he was trying to avoid you. You felt a certain measure of relief at that. No awkwardness. Good. 

With how soon it got dark in winter, you didn't know how late it was exactly, but you felt suddenly kind of exhausted. You wrapped the covers around yourself to stave off the cold, and turned on your side to face the wall, your eyes staring ahead for a moment before you closed them. 

“For what it’s worth,” Shane started after several minutes of silence. “I do trust you.”

Your eyes opened at that, landing on the wall again as you stayed where you were. 

“It’s just-” he continued, and you snorted this time, turning on your back to find him facing towards you and not the rifle anymore. You raised an eyebrow; of course there was a but. “You tend to let your emotions get the best of you… Like today, you…” he sighed, and you decided to wait him out before biting back. “Listen, I get it, okay? What you did for Judith? You know I’d do anythin’ for her ‘n Carl. But… I quickly realized that, in this world, you gotta make hard decisions in order to survive. Take a step back from your feelings, analyze, and then act… I know you think I’m an asshole about it, but it’s helped us survive through a lot of bad shit, cause people don’ play by the previous rules anymore,” he paused for a second as he stared at you. “But really? Most of all, all I’m askin’ you is that you talk to me before you run off like you did. Askin’ me to cover you or somethin’, y’know? Warn me.”

Rolling onto your side to face Shane, you rose on an elbow and held your head up with one hand. 

“You’re right,” you admitted after a beat of silence. You were aware that you let your emotions dictate a lot of your decisions, and that it wasn’t always a clever thing. As he’d said, in this world, things were different. Especially playing it solo like you’d done earlier. Now that things had calmed down, you knew that you could have died in the store had Shane not been as quick to react has he had. “Next time I’ll give you a heads-up.”

Shane hummed in satisfaction, and you grinned. 

“But,” you intoned, and Shane huffed out a snort. “As much as I get what you mean, sometimes you can’t ignore your gut feeling. When you just know that something’s up, that the split second decision you’ll make is what’s going to mean either life or death. Sometimes you don’t have the time to analyze anything.”

Shane watched you thoughtfully but nodded in agreement. 

“Look at us, agreeing on somethin’,” he chuckled as he put the rifle down next to the bed and got up. 

“Don’t get used to it,” you smirked up at him. “It’s not because we fucked once that we’re not going to fight anymore.” 

Shane barked out a loud laugh. “I wasn’t expectin’ anything less. The opposite would’ve surprised me more.”

Laughing as well, you watched Shane head into the bathroom and fell to your back again, your eyes closing. You briefly woke to the candles being extinguished and the bed dipping as Shane got in, but you only shifted under the covers and rolled to your other side. 

The next time you woke, late morning light was shining through the apartment window. Shane was standing next to it and looking outside. Stretching as you got out of bed, you quickly headed to the bathroom to take care of morning business before you joined Shane. 

“What’s the situation?” you asked as you looked outside as well and found far fewer walkers stumbling around in the parking lot. 

“This side looks okay, but we don’t know how it looks where the car is,” Shane grumbled. “This floor's not that high, but it’s gonna be a bit of a pain to get outta here if we can’t go back the other way.”

Your mouth twisted in thought, and you were about to suggest that you should go check over the vent, when something crackled with static inside your coat that was lying on a nearby chair. Shane and you stared at each other with wide eyes before you launched yourself at the coat, scrambling to find the walkie-talkie you always carried in case you needed to split up. Shane must have switched his off, but you’d completely forgotten that you’d let yours on. And if it wasn’t Shane talking through it, then it was someone from the farm, and they were close by. 

“Hey … or Shane? Do … guys copy? Over. ”

It was Jasmine’s voice. With a relieved glance in Shane’s direction, you finally got the device out and pressed the talk button. 

“Hey, Jas, we’re right here. Over” 

“Oh, thank God. We were so worried when we got home and you hadn’t come back. Where exactly are you? There are a lot of walkers around here. Over. ”

“We ran into a horde and now we’re stuck on the second floor of the store. The main access’s blocked. If you drive to the parking lot at the back of the store, we’ll be able to see you. Over.” You walked back to the window and looked outside. 

“Okay, we’ll be there soon. Over. ”

“Let’s make a rope with the sheets and get the bags down first,” Shane suggested as he opened the window to the cold winter air. 

Nodding, you both quickly put on your shoes and remaining clothes and each took a sheet to knot it with another. You felt the sudden need to laugh at the moment, feeling like you were in a bad movie and trying to escape prison. 

Shane was just done with the makeshift ropes when you heard an engine getting closer and looked through the window to see a blue pickup driving up to the store. You waved at Jasmine, who was accompanied by Hunter. A few walkers came closer as Hunter drove the back of the pickup towards the building, but Jasmine opened her side of the car and used her knife to silently kill them. Hunter jumped out of his side and you saw Jasmine slipping back into the car and into the driver’s seat as her boyfriend lifted himself into the bed of the pickup to receive the first bag of groceries. You made quick work, only stopping a couple of times to get rid of a few more walkers. With the last bag down, Hunter untied the rope so you could get down yourselves. Shane had wrapped the sheets around a long and thick rod of iron that he’d found in the debris in the corridor. It was longer than the width of the window so you could slide down the rope without fearing that it would slip free. Shane let you go first. As Shane had said, the floor wasn’t high and it took little effort to get into the pickup. Shane followed you quickly, and Hunter hit the roof of the car to indicate for Jasmine to drive. She drove towards the other side of the store and towards your own pickup. You jumped out at the side of the gas station and watched Hunter join Jasmine again before they were off and honking to get the walkers’ attention. It worked as intended, and soon enough you were able to run towards your car and climb inside. 

“Did you use the shortcut? Over,” you asked through the walkie-talkie, while Shane put the key in the ignition and started the car. 

“No, we’re driving east for now. You were talking about a horde earlier and I think that’s what we saw on the shortcut so we backtracked. Over,” Hunter explained, as Shane swerved through the walkers to join your two friends and follow behind them. 

“Okay, east it is. See you at home. Over and out.”

It took you an extra hour to get back to the farm, but you made sure that you wouldn’t lead any walkers back with you. Nicole, who was standing on the porch steps and watching you pull up, drew you into a bear hug as soon as you were out of the car. You smiled into the side of her neck as you squeezed her back. 

The rest of your family came out of the large house as well. Judith was sitting on her father’s hip and sucking on a pacifier while Carl came running towards Shane. 

“Hey, baby girl,” Shane cooed, as he approached father and daughter, kissing her tiny head after he’d hugged Carl and ruffled his hair. 

“You guys okay?” Rick asked, scanning the both of you for injuries. 

“Yeah, we’re good, don’t worry,” Shane said, as he walked up the steps and started explaining what had happened to the people following him. 

“And here I thought that you’d finally killed each other,” Nicole said, laughing at her joke as you began walking up the porch steps with her.

You smiled and hummed, faking a serious look. “It was a near miss,” you grinned as you entered the crowded kitchen.

Shane was drinking down a tall glass of water, and your eyes met over the glass. 

“What was a near miss?” Maggie asked from her perch on a stool. 

“Before they left, I was joking about them trying to not kill each other and I thought that they might have failed when they didn’t come back,” Nicole explained with a small chuckle and got an amused snort from everyone. 

“Yeah,” Shane laughed under his breath. “Sure was a near miss.” 

You looked at each other for a second, faces impassive, but you were both clearly thinking about the same thing. Then the moment passed, and Shane continued the story like nothing ever happened.

After all, it had only been a one-time thing…

[theafterglow83]

Stray thoughts on a Sunday morning.

5/12/24

Since the release of TTPD I’ve heard and seen a lot of Maylors rising from the grave. Some words of advice- stay buried.

Their claim is that Taylor has had a hidden relationship with Matty Healy for the past 8 years. I’ve even seen some claim Reputation is about him

I laughed.

I’ve heard people say kissgate was to make Matty jealous.

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes

They even think Maroon is about Matty😂

* shakes head

Let me tell you something honey- NYC ain’t screaming nobody’s name but Karlie Kloss who also just happens to be the only one Taylor’s ever dated who is fit like a daydream and Matty Healy’s lips and disgusting stained teeth are not the lips she called home.

Open the schools!

Dream girls

Do they even realize how utterly ridiculous that is?

Do they process any critical thinking skills whatsoever?

Please tell me why Taylor Swift would have to hide a relationship with a white male her own age ?

What’s the scandal?

Yeah, he’s rough around the edges but PR could have easily ironed him out if she was so in love with him as they claim. Nobody’s worse than the overrated, clout chasing, alcoholic, fading athlete she’s bearding with now. They covered up for him when his old tweets surfaced.

At least they got the hidden relationship part right - but she wasn’t hiding ratty you brainless wonders -she was hiding Karlie Kloss.

There also is that rumor that Taylor had a short lived fling with ol ratty from around Feb- March 2023 till around June. Thing is she was touring through most of that time. He was seen at a couple of concerts and out once in NYC. Hardly the making of a love affair - but a good diversion trail for her beloved Swifties to follow and take the bait that he was her secret lover she was hiding from the world if the topic were to come up in her songs.

The entire thing makes me scratch my head. It’s as crazy as the people who believe Karlie was PR to cover up Taylor’s relationship with Diana ( who there’s been zero connections to her in years) or Lily ( which in my opinion is completely fan fiction)

My God there’s more photos of Karlie with Lily than Taylor and not to mention that Derek Blasberg ( KK’s ride or die) is still friends with Lily. Does anyone really believe he would even associate with her if she betrayed his beloved Karlie.

Use your brains!

And please tell me why you would get Karlie Kloss who had multiple bi/ lesbian rumors attached to her to do a PR relationship with Taylor to cover up the fact that Taylor was bi/ gay.

Open the schools - hire more teachers

All roads always lead to Karlie Kloss … and my God who could blame her! Karlie Kloss is one in a 8 billion. Ratlors - Nice try -crawl back in your hole

Rant over - enjoy your day🤍

[httpsuniverse]

LIPS OF AN ANGEL | MM19

PAIRING: mason mount x wolff!reader ; a bit of george russell x wolff!reader

DETAILS & WARNINGS: profanities, mentions cheating/infidelity, mason's anger is totally understandable, y/n's a bit of a bitch(? idk towards the end tho), rushed ending bc i really wanted to end this hahahah, also not proofread and tons of dialogues ahhahah

WC: 4k

A/N: i apologize for uploading this soo late 😭 i had writers block for a long while :< anyway, enjoy reading!

TAGGED: @i83andrew @pleasantducktimetravel

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © newuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

now, four months have passed since you’ve broken up with mason (or at least that was what your letter stated). in those months, mason finds himself longing for you. the man often finds himself up most nights, sleeping so late and waking up so early to head to training and other prior schedules he has every day.

mason would not deny it; that if someone were to ask if he had tried contacting you, your dad and even your stepmum. the couple would always say that they don’t know your whereabouts, but deep inside, he knows they know and knowing you, you were probably the one who asked them not to tell him. the first month was the hardest, he tried calling you every night and every chance he got while on his schedule. he was waiting for your voicemail greeting to play just to hear your voice and after that, he’d record what he wanted to say. a mixture of i love you’s, i miss you’s and please come back. 

it wasn’t easy with you as well. you missed mason and you missed the days where it was just the two of you in your own little world. if you could only go back in time, you’d never leave the house during the night of your fight and maybe this never would’ve happened. you missed seeing mason on the other side of the bed; you weren’t a morning person but whenever there’s a chance that you wake up before him, you’d watch him sleep and listen to his gentle snores while you lightly trace his beard with the tip of your finger. you missed snuggling to him during cold mornings, you missed the lazy make-outs because he couldn’t get his hands off of you, you missed him whispering sweet nothings in your ear after you wake up. you missed mornings with mason, too bad you can no longer relive those moments.

though you can’t help that every time you wake up, you have that thought that you could go back to london, you could return his calls, you could return back to mason and restart your relationship. but every time you do think of doing those things, you’re reminded of what you did. all those lies you’ve told him, and those days where you were away and sleeping with another man. 

going back to the man you’ve hurt seems such a foolish thing to do, and you know the people around mason wouldn’t allow such a thing. though you may think that mason would have the same thinking as the others, he sometimes does not. he wanted to risk it all again with you, he wanted to try and fix it with you. all he wanted is you and you alone.

going back to mason is something that you want to do but wouldn’t do. and on the fourth month, 5 day mark, mason had revealed his month long relationship with a model, lia mendes.

honey, why you calling me so late?

it’s kinda hard to talk right now. 

honey, why you crying, is everything okay?

i gotta whisper cause i can’t be too loud.

you stood in your living room filled with moving boxes, susie and toto were outside while jack was napping inside your bedroom. all you could do was sigh. it felt so weird moving into a new apartment–let alone moving to the southeast corner of france. monaco was a lovely place to live in, knowing that your father lives here (though he travels most of the time), the fact that you live nearby brings you some sort of relief, safety and comfort. though, as many people have said, you disappeared off the face of the earth for a few months, you’ve lived your life quietly with your mum for a while as you wait for the situation with mason to die down.

you were in a rush when you left london the night you told mason you were just going to the store. you left without even taking a second look, not even an ounce of thought. sure, it was a wrong move—a dumb decision as well, but you wanted to run away from all the mistakes you’ve made. you wanted to escape. leave everything you have to the place you once loved—now a place you dread the most. it was not the easiest decision either, but it was the only solution that you could think of.

the night you left mason, you didn’t go to the store. instead, you met george. again, a clandestine meeting. you messaged george when you were a few blocks away from his place, which is why you met a furious brit.

“have you lost your mind, kid?” he says, god you hated that nickname. it was the nickname that toto knew george gave you and became the hint that you and the driver are close. “she could’ve caught me! she could’ve seen your bloody message! why did you want to see me—”

“i told him, george. he–he probably saw the letter by now because i left a few hours ago.”

the driver’s eyes widened, definitely not the sentence he was not expecting to hear from you. suddenly, he didn’t know what to do or say. george tried to pull you in his arms, but you were quick to push him away. “this… george! this is exactly why we need to stop what’s between us!” you said, “i can’t believe i’m saying this but i regret everything that happened between us. i regret taking advantage of mason and carmen. i hate how i know that dad will be so disappointed in me. so please, let’s stop this… we can’t keep hurting and breaking the trusts of the people around us.” 

your voice cracks by the end of the last sentence, you could feel george staring at you but you kept your gaze on your feet. no strength to look at his eyes because you know that this man would do anything just to make you stay. 

“but baby—”

from calling you kid to baby—you hated it. you felt disgusted. you needed to end it.

“no, george. no buts.” you cut off, “i have to go. i… i wish you all the best.”

you walk back to your car, locking the doors in case george runs after you. again, without looking back, you drive away. leaving the confused brit in the empty street.

and even though you ended things with george that night, he hadn’t stopped calling and texting you—afraid that you might say anything about your relationship to others, even with friends and family. all he ever cared about was his reputation, he was scared. after all, he was doing great with mercedes the past season and a scandal with his boss’ daughter would put him through hell. 

now, you were left alone in this apartment overlooking the beauty of monaco. you sat on your balcony with a glass of wine sitting on the table, feeling the breeze of the mediterranean sea. oh you missed mason. you haven’t heard anything from him since you two broke up. 

and maybe it was the number of wine in your system that you ended up dialing his number, the one you’ve deleted yet can’t seem to forget as you knew it by heart. no matter how hard you try to forget about it. it kept on ringing and ringing, and you tried to re-dial once it ended due to the exceeding minute. 

on the fifth try, you finally heard his voice. 

“hello?”

you know that feeling when you’ve spoken to your high school crush for the very first time, your heart drops and your stomach is filled with butterflies to the point where you don’t know what to say? that is exactly what you felt when you heard mason’s voice after months.

“hello?” he repeats, “is this a prank call? ‘cause this is the fifth time you called and i might need to block your number–”

“masey.”

you heard sounds of bed rustling followed by a door closing, you assumed that he was already in bed and was fast asleep. after all, it was already midnight. “y/n?” and that’s when the tears started to roll in, god how you missed that voice. “are you crying? is everything alright?” his voice was quiet.

“y-yeah, just…” you sniffed, “just missing you and i think it has something to do with this stupid wine.”

“sorry, i’ve got to whisper. m-my girlfriend’s asleep,”

“oh.” you wiped your tears, you only found out that mason was dating someone now. “i’m sorry, i should’ve known. god, i’ll hang up–”

“no!”

well, my girl’s in the next room

sometimes i wish she was you

i guess we never really moved on

it’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

it sounds so sweet

“she’s in the other room anyway, we can continue talking.” he continued, “h-how have you been? i’ve seen photos of jack on susie’s instagram, may have had a glimpse of you spending time with them in her stories. have you gone karting with jack recently?”

you chuckle, chugging the remaining wine on your glass before responding. “i-i stayed with them for a month, i stayed with my mum as well, after our… well, you know. i’ve accompanied jack while dad and susie are busy. you know, the season has already started and susie is busy with the f1 academy. i was vacant for a month, but i’ve started working again–i’m talking too much, you should really hang up, mason.”

“you know, it’s really good to hear your voice saying my name, y/n.” mason said, “it-it really sounds so sweet.”

“we should really stop, mason.”

you heard him scoff on the other end of the line, “it’s so funny that you’re the one saying that, i’m not the one who called in the first place, y/n.”

“i know, and i only found out that you were dating someone tonight. y-you should be with her, you shouldn’t be talking to your ex who… who cheated on you tonight. she deserves better.”

“i guess we never really moved on, y/n.” he replied, “i–”

“goodbye, mason. good night.”

coming from the lips of an angel

hearing those words, it makes me weak

and i never wanna say goodbye

but, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

with the lips of an angel

mason couldn’t sleep that night and had trouble waking up, which was the reason why lia, so early in the morning, was mad as her boyfriend was sleeping so deep and no matter how hard she tried to wake him up, she just couldn’t. lia was running late for a schedule that mason had promised to come with her as their break for the season had begun. 

“masey, i’m running super late. my manager is about to burst, can’t you please move much faster?” she said, in a mixture of annoyed and calm voice. “didn’t we go to bed at the same time last night? why do you look like you haven’t at all?”

“because i haven’t slept,” he answered directly.

“why?”

“just… nothing. let’s go.”

the couple exited mason’s house, lia practically sprinted to mason’s car and sat on the front seat. masey, that was the nickname most people call him but now, he only wanted to hear your voice call him that and nobody else. when you say his name, it sounded like it came from the lips of an angel. it made him weak most of the time. 

lia had arrived a half an hour late, her manager was already glaring at mason and immediately separated the couple. while lia was doing her photoshoot, leaving mason alone, he realised that he never wanted to break up with you, even if you admitted what had happened between you and george, or maybe he was just thinking about it as you’ve spoken last night. maybe he just missed you. he did miss you. 

what’s fucked up is that he thought he finally moved on from you, that he was ready to commit to a new relationship. he knew that when he and lia were testing the waters, a month before they officially dated. he has told himself several times that he was over you, yet here he is. reminiscing all the memories you’ve shared the past years you two were together after that phone call. you were making it hard for him to be faithful.

as he was waiting, mason was on his phone when he received a notification of an invite to attend another f1 race with red bull. this time, it was in barcelona. he remembered the last time you and he went to monaco, a weekend to remember indeed. 

“we’re going to be separated for almost the whole day, baby” you laugh, putting on your dress as mason shoves his phone into his pocket. “it’s going to be so weird because you’ll be at the red bull garage, and i’ll be at mercedes!”

“hey, i can still go there, you know? plus we’ll see each other around the paddock.” he replied, walking behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “besides, your dad loooves me. i’m sure he’ll understand that this is for work and publicity.”

you smiled, zipping your dress up and turned to face him. mason pursed his lips, signifying that he was asking for a kiss. you giggled, and eventually leaned in to connect your lips together. when you pulled away, you put your hand on his face and ran the pads of your thumb on his beard–the one you loved doing after you two kissed every time.

“you, sir… look so handsome with your outfit.” you compliment, he was wearing his chequered rhude shirt over some white shirt. you leaned in again for another kiss, deepening it–only pulling away when you heard your phone ring. “okay, before things escalate, i have to go. dad’s calling.”

“your dad’s such a cockblocker.” he teased, earning a slap on the arm from you. “i’m just kidding! i’ll see you when i see you at the paddock.”

mason remembered how he stole a kiss every time you crossed paths at the paddock or at the pit lane during his walk. a lot of people saw and took pictures and videos of it, posting it on social media. that video was trending in the world of f1 and football for a few days before dying down. he remembered seeing tweets and posts on instagram, saying they were jealous of your relationship. he remembered the two of you having dinner at toto and susie’s place, how he was teased by you and jack (toto eventually joined) throughout dinner as he went as red bull’s guest and not mercedes. he remembered lying with you on the deck of a rented yacht, under the sun, enjoying the monte-carlo air.

on the other side of europe, you are woken up by the sound of your phone ringing. you were taking your afternoon siesta before returning back to your home office to continue working, and whoever was calling you in the middle of your nap, may they stub their toe on some furniture. tired, you reached out for your phone and answered the call without looking at the screen.

“hello?” you groggily said, “whoever you are, you’ve interrupted my siesta and i may hate you for that.”

“well, hello to you, my daughter.” your father’s voice rang through your ears. “and i’m sorry if i interrupted your nap, but would you be so kind and open your front door please?”

“what?”

“open the door, i’ve been out here for almost fifteen minutes.”

and off you went to your front door, toto was greeted by a grumpy daughter whose eyebrows were furrowed. you looked at your father, “what are you doing here, dad?”

“no ‘hallo, vater’? no ‘how are you doing, dad?’. none?” he joked, entering your place as you made way for him and closed the door. “okay, i will be quick. come with us to barcelona this weekend.”

your eyes widened, “what? i have work, i can’t just leave.”

“your brother told me that you have a flexible work schedule, that you’re allowed to bring your work everywhere you go.” your dad replied.

“theodore wolff, that little bitch.” you cursed under your breath, you couldn’t help but facepalm with what your brother just did. “dad–”

“i know that tone, y/n wolff.” toto stopped you from continuing your sentence, “come on, it’ll be just like the old days! except your brother isn’t here because his finals week aligned with the weekend in barcelona.”

you bit your lip, making a decision as your father can be impatient. if you go to the race, the possibility of running to george is high–no matter how much effort you exert on avoiding the man, you simply can’t as he is, of course, a driver for mercedes. but, it’ll be good for you as well! you haven’t gone to spain for years, a change of environment and working outside of your home office may be good for you as well. you work only on weekdays, and you’ll be free for the rest of the weekend so you wouldn’t think of work that much in case.

“okay fine, i’ll go with you. when’s the flight?” 

“tonight.”

“TONIGHT?! dad, a little heads up would’ve been nice!”

“i’m sorry, pack your bags and we’ll pick you up by 8.” toto said, planting a kiss on your head. “i’ll go now, we’ll see you later!”

—

on saturday morning, arriving at the paddock with your father, a lot of people approached you by the entrance. some asked for pictures, some for autographs (which you didn’t quite understand), and some were nice enough to greet you. to say that you’re nervous is an understatement. you were returning to the paddock, you’re about to see george, his fiancée–the people you've been avoiding for months were in barcelona with you. you opted to stay in your hotel since your arrival in spain, finishing all the work you have left before proceeding with your weekend. as you walk to the paddock with toto, you could feel your palm sweat and your stomach turn the more you get closer to mercedes’ garage. 

“word is, footballers are in red bull’s garage.” you overheard one of the mechanics upon entering the garage. the word football made you even more nervous than you already were.

“oh come on, mate. i think i’ve seen a few yesterday! that’s old news!”

“i haven’t seen any yesterday but so far, i’ve seen james, felix, chilwell–” please don’t tell me mason is here. “–and mount. just last year they were in monaco, weren’t they?”

the other mechanic nodded his head. mason is here. breathing the same air as you, probably a few metres away from you even. i knew this was a bad idea. you thought to yourself.

“you look like you saw a ghost.” said your father after speaking to the engineers.

you shook your head, “well, i think i’m about to see one today.” you joked, “i-uh, i’ll go out to find something to drink.”

toto raised an eyebrow, a bit unsure of your change of behaviour but you gave him a smile and reassured that you’ll be back. “alright, just…be back before quali, alright?”

you nodded your head and exited the garage. walking around the paddock like you were a normal guest, someone who just wants to enjoy the weekend. but it’s hard when people recognize you as toto wolff’s daughter, and as much as you try to stay away from the crowd, people still approached you. little did you know, someone has spotted you.

“oi, mason!” ben called his teammate, walking towards the man who’re talking with the other players. “guess who i saw walking around the paddock?”

“who?”

ben took a step closer to the younger, whispering your name. mason felt his heart skip a beat, realising the same thing you’ve thought about just a few minutes ago: you were here, breathing the same air as him.

it's funny that you're calling me tonight

and, yes, i've dreamt of you too

and does he know you're talking to me?

will it start a fight?

no, i don't think she has a clue.

needless to say, you were good at hiding. mason had presented the pirelli pole position award to max, he wanted to know if you were there to see him next to the driver. but as he scanned the sea of crowd, you were nowhere to be found. after the qualifying, you returned back to your hotel–reasoning that you were exhausted and had a headache. as soon as you were back, you changed clothes and plopped yourself on the bed. but it wasn’t so soon when your phone started ringing, a number you once called.

“hello?”

“a little birdie told me that you were in the paddock today.”

you sighed, closing your eyes but held the phone close to your earshot. “was it ben?”

“you know it. he’s always liked you–in a platonic way, i mean.”

silence followed right after he had mentioned ben, you were exhausted to even reply. 

“y/n–”

“it’s so funny that you’re calling me tonight, mason.” you said, “i assumed the night i called you, you would’ve blocked my number.”

“you know i would never do that. we’ve been together for a long time, y/n.”

“i must be living in your head, mason.”

mason scoffed on the other end of the line, “well, i wasn’t thinking of you until the night you called.” he replied, “and yes, i’ve dreamt of you too.”

you jolted up from the bed when you heard a knock on the door, with the phone on the other hand you made your way to the door. you didn’t even bother looking through the peephole to see who was knocking on your door late in the night, you just assumed it was your dad. promptly, you opened the door–lo and behold, mason mount was standing in front of you. unable to speak, you still held your phone by your ear and stared at him, him and his stupid smile. mason was the one who ended the call and shoved his phone into his pocket.

“hi,” he said, “it’s been a few months, y/n.”

“how did you–what are you–i’m so confused right now.” you expressed, about to shut the door but mason was quick enough to stop you. “what do you want, mason?”

“does he know you’re talking to me? will it start a fight?” he asked, completely ignoring your question and welcomed himself inside your room, shutting the door close. “george. does george know?”

“i called it off with him the night i left a letter for you, mason. i went to his place and i ended things with you both at the same time.”

mason scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “wow,” he exclaimed, “george had the in-person “break-up” and all i got is a stupid fucking letter?”

“mason–”

“that is bullshit, y/n. pure bullshit.” mason barked, “all this time, george got the closure that i should’ve had. me–y/n, i was the one you dated for a long time and all i fucking got is a lousy letter about the truth of your affair with george?”

“i was supposed to, mason!” you yell back, “i was supposed to tell you, but the timing just wasn’t right.”

“and you thought lying straight to my face when i asked you about it, was okay?” you were about to answer, but mason was already rushing to the door. when he was about to exit, he said: “i went here thinking i could finally get the closure i needed, but fuck, was i wrong about this.”

you scoff, “that’s on you, then. you come running to the girl who cheated on you.” you said, “does lia know that you’re still hung up on your past? because i don’t think she has a clue.”

ynwolff

liked by susie_wolff, mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and others

ynwolff so many familiar faces here in spain 🇪🇸 here’s a little dump of my weekend here 🤓

view all 739 comments

yourbffsig oh i know who those familiar faces were 😉

ynwolff 😂 stop

yourbffsig we’re going to a party tonight after what happened, we need to get wasted!!

ynwolff as long as i make it back home on time and alive, let’s gooo

mercedesamgf1 glad to have you back in the garage, y/n! 🐺

ynwolff glad to see the team secure a double podium, thank you for having me! 🖤

mercedesamgf1 a great weekend indeed!

yourmomsig missing you so much, sweetheart! hope you enjoyed x

ynwolff miss you too mum ❤️

theowolff what about me 😓

ynwolff miss you too dumbass 🙄 you’re the reason why i went so you should’ve been with me, i could’ve avoided an unexpected circumstance hahahah

theowolff if only school let me 💀 but hey, at least you ‘enjoyed’

ynwolff i’m blocking you!!

user1 OMG SHES IN THE PADDOCK WHAT IF SHE SAW OR TALKED TI MASE IM DELULU (ALSO TOTO ON THE LAST SLIDE? LMAO)

user2 stop with these assumptions I BEG YALL

user3 people should learn how to stfu im being fr rn

user4 that’s toto’s reaction when he read your comment

user2 also the cryptic messages HELLO ?? i dont think they saw each other or if they did, it probably didn’t go so well

user3 you’re onto something babes 👀

masonmount

liked by declanrice, benchilwell, redbullracing and others

masonmount thank you redbullracing and jodieporter8 for everything!

view all 2,495 comments

liamendes meu belo homem 😩🫶 i love you!

— ❤️ by masonmount

redbullracing THANK YOU!! 🫶

user5 when i tell yall this man is so FINE 🤌🏻

user6 this man is scrump-DILLY-tious

user7 yall CALM DOWN

user8 mason did something happen between u and y/n bc her posts have some sort of cryptic hints and i kinda wanna know whats going on tnx (jk hahaha love u both)

user9 HELPPP me too 😓 like what does her bff mean when she said “whag happened” and y/n saying “unexpected circumstance” LIKE GIVE ME SOMETHING??? A TEA PERHAPS???

user10 currently dying to know what the fucj happened in barcelona

[allthedoorsareopennow]

Incomplete collection of Marius lore

suggestions for additions are welcome, but it MUST HAVE A SOURCE

overview 

He is the ship’s medic[1]/ship’s doctor[3], plays fiddle and has a mechanised right arm[1].

backstory 

He is neither a baron nor a doctor[3][5]; ‘Baron’ is a corruption of his original name, Byron von Raum[2][5].

Marius has a sister called Dorothea, and they were raised by a single nonbinary parent. Marius doesn’t remember their name or face, and knows them only as Zeze[6].

It is strongly implied that Marius was not mechanised by Dr Carmilla [7].

Marius is 5’5 and very skinny. This is apparently because he came from a world that is ‘somewhat medieval in its nutrition levels’ and Marius was not a healthy child. [14]

He piloted a mecha called KISMET. She was 5-6 storeys tall and slightly insectoid, like a dragonfly or butterfly. [17]

‘The control pod’s entirely in the head, which allows the internal control rig to right itself like a ball bearing, keeping the pilot upright whether she’s standing on the ground, hovering, flying horizontally, banking sharply or even rolling.’ [17]

The mecha is not meelee-oriented. [17]

time with the mechanisms 

Drumbot Brian said that ‘given that we're immortal and don't need a doctor, it's the job we're most comfortable giving Marius, and it keeps him busy’ and also that he ‘frequently tries to psychoanalyze inanimate objects’ [5]

His mechanism was ‘probably botched’ and he has a ‘tenuous grasp on reality’[2] 

According to Jonny, he grew a beard presumably around 08/02/2014 ‘almost instantaneously, and without warning’ and was apparently ‘very upset’ and ‘said he’d been holding it in for decades and just that momentary lapse of concentration as I kneecapped him had ruined all his hard work’[8]

He once dressed up as the Toy Soldier for a halloween concert [9]

Drumbot Brian once responded to someone asking how the mechanisms were by describing marius as ‘mad’[10]

The Aurora describes Marius as ‘the broken doctor’ [16]

songs/albums

He had a planned lecture on the psyche of the olympians, but this was cancelled[11]

He helped Ashes install at a minimum the camera in Ulysses’ vault in UDAD, though he does not remember this[4]

Apparently, ‘Marius spent his time on Fort Galfridian sitting at the porthole for days staring into the sun because he didn't realise it was supposed to be unbearable, and now the Ghouls think he's some sort of prophet’ [12]

In The Bifrost Incident, Marius does not know where he got the violin - in fact, he doesn’t even realise he’s holding it until Lyf points it out [15]

death

Marius was always skeptical of the crew’s immortality and was less surprised to meet his end. ‘One day, at something of a loose end, he will decide to check on the octokittens. Unfortunately, the purring horde has not been fed in many decades, and devours him, head to toe, in 11.7 seconds.’ [13]

Jonny is implied to have already witnessed Marius’ death before the final concert; he says ‘11.7 seconds. At least, by my watch.’ [13]

In Marius’ death, tunes from ‘Blood and Whiskey’ and ‘Favoured Son’ can be heard [13].

[1] Mechanisms Marius von Raum Available at: https://themechanisms.com/the-crew/marius-von-raum/ Last accessed: 11/01/24

[2] Young (2020) Future Projects: The Death of Byron von Raum (spoiler free) Available at: https://kofiyoung.com/2020/07/25/future-projects-the-death-of-byron-von-raum-spoiler-free/ Last accessed: 11/01/24

[3] Revenge of Spaceport Mahon

[4] Mechanisms Eskhatos Available at: https://themechanisms.com/fiction/eskhatos/ Last accessed: 11/01/24

[5] Below (2013) Why do immortals need a ship doctor? Available at:  https://www.tumblr.com/the-mechanisms/58736308596/why-do-immortals-need-a-ship-doctor-i-need-an Last accessed: 11/01/24

[6] Young (2023) Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/neitherabaron/727612334921678848/holding-checklist-titled-qualities-to-kill Last accessed: 11/01/24

[7] Rasputina (2013) Where'd you folks pick up Marius and Raphiella? Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/the-mechanisms/58960694562/whered-you-folks-pick-up-marius-and-raphiella Last accessed: 11/01/24

[8] Sims (2014) Ingratitude Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/the-mechanisms/75995731661/ingratitude Last accessed: 11/01/24

[9] wickedacephotos (2013) The Mechanisms at The Cellar, 29 Oct 2013, for Halloween with Polar Patterns Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/wickedacephotos/65528149745/wickedacephotos-the-mechanisms-at-the-cellar Last accessed: 11/01/24

[10] Below (2013) Hooray for questions! Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/the-mechanisms/58734952128/i-apologize-that-i-didnt-ask-a-question-to-make Last accessed: 12/01/24

[11] The Mechanisms Ulysses Dies at Dawn Available at: https://themechanisms.bandcamp.com/album/ulysses-dies-at-dawn Last accessed: 12/01/24

[12] thedreadvampy (2020) Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/thedreadvampy/624522490768736256/i-feel-like-i-should-clarify-because-it-does-at Last accessed: 12/01/24

[13] The Mechanisms (2020) Death to the Mechanisms Available at: https://themechanisms.bandcamp.com/album/death-to-the-mechanisms Last accessed: 12/01/24

[14] thedreadvampy (2020) Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/thedreadvampy/630817295229468672/so-i-am-absolutely-going-to-go-draw-tim-with Last accessed: 12/01/24

[15] thedreadvampy (2020) Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/thedreadvampy/631436135234699264/you-dont-need-to-awnser-this-because-i-am-lore Last accessed: 12/01/24

[16] themechanisms A Bedtime Story Available at: https://themechanisms.com/fiction/ghost-in-the-machine/ Last accessed: 06/03/24

[17] Young (2023) Available at: https://www.tumblr.com/neitherabaron/708247931183153152 Last accessed: 11/04/24

To do:

not yet added Marius’ dttm dialogue

may add more detail to what is contained in expert testimony

could probably add detail on things seen doing in photos, e.g. Marius playing rock paper scissors with TS. (are photoshoots canon? I assume so)

[3] missing a link

wow did I really miss pilchard. I will Get To It at some point maybe

does anyone have the his arm is like a fungus post link handy

perhaps more backstory info from byron

https://x.com/neitherabaron/status/1231124594544783361?s=20

https://x.com/neitherabaron/status/1231604579529302018?s=20

numbers are ordered mostly in when I added the source rather than order of appearance as I have moved things around a lot. as above this is very incomplete and I don’t have the willpower to update this now maybe I will later. I’m just uploading it now since someone wanted marius lore

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Fluffcember Day 12 | All the reasons why I love you

Pairing | Husband!Chris Evans x Wife!Fem!Reader

Word count | 2K

Summary | Today is your wedding day, and Chris recalls some of his most fond memories of you, his wife. From the moment you first met to the moment he first heard your laugh, not a single moment is forgotten by him. It is at that moment that you realize how much he paid attention to all the little things, and why you have fallen for him in the first place all those years ago.

Rating | General (G)

Warning(s) | RPF, Established relationship ~ Husband & Wife, use of nickname ~ Beautiful

A/n | This one-shot is written for day 12 of my Fluffcember 2023 Challenge! I want to dedicate this to @cevansbaby-dove, I truly hope this will make your day just a little brighter in the tough time you're going through right now. I want to give a massive thank you to @ccbsrmsf1 for proofreading this one, it is truly appreciated 🎄

Events Masterlist | ''That's the first time I ever heard you laugh | @buckys-wintersoldier Masterlist | Love at first sight | @ultimatechrisbingo

Banners: @vase-of-lilies | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF: Owner

Main Masterlist | Chris Evans Masterlist | Read on AO3

You're seated at the big table, ready for dinner, when your brand new husband, Chris, looks at you and gives you a reassuring smile before standing up and reaching for a microphone.

''Can I have everyone's attention, please? Because I would like to take this moment to tell all of you something about my beautiful partner in crime and wife, Y/N Evans-Y/L/N,'' Chris starts as he looks back at you, now standing in the middle of the dance floor.

His light blue suit compliments his eyes beautifully and matches the decor around the wedding venue, tying the whole outfit together. His beard and hair are styled in his usual way, making him look handsome, and you feel like you have found heaven on earth in this man.

Your husband. The more you think about it, the harder it is to believe, but it's true. You married your best friend, the love of your life, your partner through thick and thin.

''I'd like to start by telling you all how I met the most beautiful lady I have ever met, and who turned my world upside down from the moment she came into my life nearly 15 years ago.''

You just finished your work for the day, and now you're walking home from the school where you teach. Having a job only 10 minutes from your home is perfect, and being an elementary school teacher has always been one of your biggest dreams.

But today, you decide to stop in the bookstore on your way home as if something was pulling you into that building. The door swings open, a familiar warmth engulfs you, and you feel instantly at home.

You have spent many rainy days here and are good friends with the owners.

''Y/N! What a surprise to see you here; how is everything going?'' May asks; she's one of the two owners with her husband, Jason.

''It's good to see you again, May. I'm so sorry I haven't been here lately, but it's hectic at work now that we're nearing the end of the school year again. But I decided to revisit two of my favorite people; I have missed you both a lot,'' you tell her, and May nods in understanding.

''You're always welcome here, Y/N. We got a few books over the last few weeks that might be right up your alley. I stored them in the back until you would visit again,'' she says before walking off and getting said books.

Meanwhile, you're on your way to browse your favorite store section: True Crime. Something about this topic never ceases to amaze you, and you have spent many hours browsing the section.

Your eyes glide over the books until you spot one that immediately piques your interest. It's a little too high for you, but you try to reach for it anyway, but to no avail. You can't reach it even when you're standing on your tiptoes and let out a frustrated sigh.

''Can I help you with that?'' a deep voice on your right asks you, and when you turn your head, you look right into the eyes of the most handsome man you have ever seen. You stare at him for a few seconds until it dawns that he asked you a question, and your cheeks turn bright red in embarrassment.

''Oh! I'm so sorry! Uhm... Yes, please, can you hand me that one?'' you tell him as you point towards a book about Jeffrey Dahmer. The man reaches for it and grabs it off the shelf effortlessly, handing it to you with a charming smile.

''Here you go, Beautiful,'' he tells you, and you take the book from his hands with a shy smile and a chuckle leaving your chest.

''Thank you, uhm-'' ''Chris!'' ''Well, thank you, Chris,'' you tell him, and just as you're about to turn around and see if May is back, he stops you.

''I hope I'm not too forward here, but you're beautiful, and I was hoping we could get some coffee sometime if you're up for it,'' he tells you, and you happily agree.

A few days later, you're having coffee with the man you fell for in the bookstore, and you've never believed in love at first sight until you met Chris. He felt the same way and told you exactly that a few dates later. You two have never looked back and been together ever since that moment.

''I still remember that day like it was yesterday. That was the first time I ever heard you laugh. It has become one of my favorite things to hear, and I know I will never get tired of hearing it. It makes me feel like I'm home because you're nearby. And you're my home,'' he tells you before blowing a kiss your way.

''One of my favorite moments we have experienced together has to be the moment she met Dodger for the first time,'' Chris starts as he paces over the dance floor, his arms moving to emphasize his point.

Are you ready to meet him, Beautiful?'' Chris asks as you're sitting on his living room couch. You've always loved dogs, and ever since Chris told you about his furry friend, you couldn't wait to meet him.

He has told you about how he rescued him after filming in a shelter, and it warms your heart each time. You're getting a little impatient to see him now.

''Been ready for ages!'' you tell him with a chuckle, and that's when you hear it: his excited taps on the floor as he runs to the new person in his house, curious as ever.

''Who's that, Buddy? Say hi to her; she won't bite you!'' Chris tells him enthusiastically. Dodger can't contain his excitement, and he jumps on the couch where you're sitting, greeting you excitedly as Chris looks at the two of you.

''See? I told you he would like you,'' Chris tells you, and deep inside, you knew he would because he's the absolute best dog in the world. And to have Chris as his owner makes him the luckiest dog in the universe.

''Aren't you an excited little boy? Yeah, you are! God and you're so cute too, just like your Daddy,'' you say, and you look at Chris from the corner of your eye, seeing him turn bright red at your compliment.

''You two are way cuter together, though,'' he tells you, making you smile. From that moment on, wherever you went, Dodger went with you. He would be by your side anywhere inside the house; if you went outside, he would always want to accompany you.

That year, naturally, you had to take a photo of yourself, Chris, and Dodger in front of the Christmas tree, which is still your favorite photo of the three of you. Your own little family was enjoying their first Christmas together.

''I wouldn't want it any other way,'' you tell Chris when he's done telling the story, and once again, he blows a kiss your way. He's head over heels in love with you, and so are you with him. You can never get enough of him telling stories.

''The fondest memory I have of her, however, will have to be the moment I proposed to her while we were on vacation in Mexico,'' Chris tells everyone in the room, and a big smile adorns his face.

You and Chris have been together for a little over 13 years now, and even though you have discussed the idea of marriage a few times, it only became concrete now.

A few weeks before your departure on your yearly vacation with Chris, he started his search for the perfect engagement ring. He has visited several shops but eventually found the perfect one for you.

Now, all that's left is to pop the question.

You two just had dinner in an authentic Mexican restaurant and had some fantastic food, and now Chris is offering to take you on a walk on the beach. What you did not know, however, is that Chris's mom, Lisa, has prepared the place of the proposal for both of you.

''God, that food was amazing! I'm glad you chose that restaurant, Beautiful,'' Chris tells you as his fingers are interlaced with yours. The restaurant you initially wanted to visit was closed due to a personal emergency, so you decided to hit up an authentic Mexican restaurant nearby.

''I don't know what the other place would have been like, but I'm so glad we decided to go here because I would eat here again if I ever have the chance!'' you tell him, and Chris can't help but smile.

All he can think about is how that might be your go-to restaurant every time you come back to visit to relive your memories of the day he proposed to you.

He turns to you and admires how your dress flows in the wind, making you look nothing short of angelic. After you have walked for about 20 minutes, you spot the proposal site, and your head shoots over to Chris.

Is this happening?! You ask yourself, and you soon find out that it is happening. Right here, right now.

''Y/N, I'm not sure how I would have gotten where I am today without your encouragement and joy, without listening to your singing and watching you dance when you think no one is watching,'' he starts.

''I enjoy dreaming with you because you understand me like no one else could. I enjoy being sick now that you're there to care for me. You inspire me to get out of bed each morning, no matter how difficult the day ahead may be, and you make me want to accomplish the impossible,'' he tells you, and you're trying your hardest to conserve your make-up as the tears are escaping.

''We both want to live a colorful, memorable life, and we can make our wildest dreams come true if we work together on them. And that's why I want- no, need you for the rest of my life,'' he finishes his speech.

He grabs the ring out of his pocket, clutching the little box tightly before going down on one knee, and you put your hands over your mouth to stifle the sniffles coming out.

When he's down on his knee, he opens the small velvet box, revealing the engagement ring he picked out for you, and he asks the question you've been dying to hear ever since you realized he's about to propose.

''Y/N Y/L/N, will you make me the happiest man on earth and become my wife?''

''Oh my god, YES!'' you exclaim, and Chris takes the ring out of the box and gets up before grabbing your face gently, sealing your moment with a tender, sweet kiss.

''I love you so much, Chris, and I can't wait to marry you,'' you tell him, and from that moment on, you're going through life as the future Mrs. Evans.

''And now, here we are all gathered on our wedding day. Honestly, I couldn't have done this without you, Beautiful. You're the reason I am where I am today, and to have you by my side to witness it all is the cherry on top of the wedding cake!'' he says, and you have to wipe some tears away.

Your road may have been challenging, but you wouldn't change it for anything. If your relationship with Chris has proven anything, you can go through anything as long as you have him by your side and want to prove that to him every single day of your lives together.

When he's about to let everyone know they can start their dinner, you get up from your chair and jog over to him with the front of your wedding dress raised so you don't slip and fling yourself around his neck when you arrive.

''I love you, Chris, and thank you for that. Now you have made this day truly unforgettable,'' you tell him, his arms wrapped around you to pull you close to him.

''I love you too, Beautiful, and I will show you just how much every single day of the rest of our lives.''

And with that, your promises to each other are sealed with one more kiss. Your lips move as if they are made for one another, fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. You have found heaven on earth in your husband, and you're officially the happiest woman in the universe.

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

gert's masterlist of 2023 ted lasso fics! which is. all my ted lasso fics lol

there are so many here buckle up

crack/primarily humor fics:

semaphore - rated: G - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Four bracelets and thirteen mugs later, Colin might have finally gotten the hint. Because it was directly pointed out by a crowd of himbos, but you know, still! We got there! Right?! Right?!

birds of a feather - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin (Gen)

Colin notices Trent's mug, alright. (Or: Trent's increasingly less subtle attempts at broadcasting that he is a Safe Person and Also Queer do reach Colin, but Colin gets the wrong message.) (It could be worse. He could have thought Trent was flirting.)

exercising restraint - rated: E - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; ft Diamond Dogs

Following a fun and informative encounter with his favorite ex-journalist, Ted has a rather uncomfortable meeting with the Diamond Dogs. Featuring: Trent Crimm and the be-catted bag, Leslie Higgins knowing a lot about BDSM, Roy Kent being the world's most unwilling participant in this conversation, and Beard being Beard.

☆ Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Richmond Ensemble

In the locker room, Coach Lasso kisses their resident emotional support biographer, casual-as-you-please, and then leaves like nothing happened. Chaos ensues and the entirety of the club somehow gets involved. Trent wishes for the sweet release of death.

a preacher, a bikini, and a kiss or two - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Diamond Dogs, ft Will

The Diamond Dogs discuss first kisses. This leads to… a series of events sure does happen. And did happen.

☆ Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't) - rated: M - chapters: 13/13 - Trent/Ted; Richmond Ensemble

A series of bizarre, loosely related events occur, all kicked off by Trent absently mentioning that he may or may not have once hooked up with Rupert Mannion.

☆ painting the town richmond blue - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Trent's ex-wife

Ted Lasso unexpectedly runs into a very drunk Trent Crimm (the Independent), along with his equally drunk ex-wife. They're having a GREAT time. Ted is… pulled along for the ride.

Trent and the Vampire! - rated: M - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin; Trent/Ted

Trent has a truly stupid amount of hickeys to hide thanks to SOMEONE. (Ted is unrepentant and he WILL do it again.)

The Portal Incident™ - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Press Room

It's a lovely day in the Richmond press room, and you are a horrible portal.

best seat in the office - rated: E - chapters: 6/6 + an additional snippet - Trent/Ted; Roy and Beard - note: some chapters lean more Smut, Angst, etc

Trent has many problems (chronically low self-esteem, deeply hopeless crush on co-worker, being helplessly attracted to said co-worker) and the bizarre lack of chairs ain't one. He can just sit on his desk—he's sat in stranger places. That is, until Ted somewhat jokingly offers his lap as a replacement. Trent immediately falls off the desk. For additional snippet: In which Ted just asked.

the two ring circus - rated: M - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Diamond Dogs

[sent] – Lara, do you remember being lectured on the dangers of peer pressure? lara<3 – Aw has someone offered you a cigarette :) [sent] – a large swathe of richmond staff is trying to make me get nipple piercings :( lara<3 – trent what the fuck does that mean

snippets:

The Thumbs Up Saga - [part one] [part two] - Trent & OCs; ft Trent/Ted

of throuples and genders - Ted/Trent/Rebecca; ft Roy/Keeley/Jamie

Ted Kisses Trent In Front Of A Business Of Journalists For Probably Just Mischief Reasons - Trent/Ted

Trent's into how much of a bastard Ted is unfortunately - Pre Trent/Ted

Similar to that one: Trent's into Ted cursing (specifically in how much of a bastard he is about it) unfortunately - Pre Trent/Ted

☆ A weird alternate meeting/pre-canon meet-cute - [main] [additional snippet] - Trent/Ted; Beard [POV Outsider for second one]

Trent embarrasses himself in front of Michelle and it's cute - Ted/Trent; Michelle

☆ Ridiculous FMK Games - Diamond Dogs; ft Trent/Ted (could be interpreted as some combination of Ted/Trent/Roy/Beard if you want); also ft Colin

oops rebecca made them kiss - Trent/Ted; Rebecca [season one!]

Trent Crimm Is Fuckable! Everyone Agrees - Trent/Ted; Ensemble

Check time travel AUs section for those lol

smut fics (Rated E)

the best ones; primarily smut

☆☆ off the record - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Intrepid reporter Trent Crimm earns his scoop.

☆☆ trick & treat - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

In which a relatively harmless prank causes everyone at the Richmond Halloween party to be somewhat transformed into their Halloween costume. The charm is supposed to be fun. And it is! Really, it is! It's just that it really is effected by your mindset and by what you like about the costume, and Trent is--well, Trent's leaving the party early. He swears he wasn't thinking about this when he chose his costume. It's just. He saw Ted's costume and a few fantasies may have gotten away from him a little. Which would have been harmless, had it not been for all this. OR: Some deeply, deeply silly and contrived Halloween smut. Read the tags for more details.

☆ snippet: embarrassing venom au - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Uh oh sisters it's the deeply embarrassing CRACK VENOM AU NO ONE ASKED FOR!! Everyone clap and cheer Trent has an alien inside him if ya know what i m--

snippet: "desperation" + sub trent - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

diversity win! your journalist is now a sub [For the prompt "Desperation"]

a wonderful wreck - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Ted, while tipsy as hell, realizes he's bisexual, has a drunken hookup with Trent Crimm, wakes up, and then is… weirdly chill about all of this, considering.

sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell) - chapters: 1/4 - Trent/Ted

Trent has a hard time letting go--at least, letting go completely. He learns a little at a time. Or: 3 times Trent is on top, one way or another, and 1 time he gets utterly railed.

other works:

snippet: coach sandwich - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted/Beard - CRACK

Beard joins Ted and Trent for a threesome in the funniest, stupidest way possible.

☆ an odd sort of comfort - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted - Kinda angsty/pensive but sweet

There's a fantasy Trent has that he tries not to touch. He fails.

oh, in the strangest dreams - chapters: 1/1 + additional Roy POV - Trent/Ted - CRACK

Ted and Trent are both feeling weird about all the extremely vivid sex dreams they keep having about each other, completely unaware of the fact they are, in fact, the same dreams. Shenanigans ensue.

some specific AUs/groups

time travel AU snippets:

s3 Roy & s1 Trent - Serious; Angst - Trent & Roy

s3 Roy & s3 Trent; ft Press Room - Crack/Humor - Trent & Roy

s3 counterparts confuse s1 counterparts - Ensemble (Trent, Ted, Beard, Roy, Rebecca); ft Trent/Ted

☆☆ superhero AU - Trent/Ted; ft Beard:

Main fic

Ted POV

just specifically ships other than Trent/Ted:

snippet: ROY IS NOT TRENT'S SUGAR DADDY SHUT THE FUCK UP - rated: E - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Roy

"I can't believe Roy Kent is your sugar daddy," his ex-wife says, and he flings an aptly named throw pillow at her. Which she dodges with a cackle.

see aforementioned snippet: of throuples and genders - Ted/Trent/Rebecca (ft Jamie/Roy/Keeley)

basically crack wherein these two groups make jokes about gender among other things

also see aforementioned snippet: coach sandwich - Ted/Trent/Beard

Beard joins Ted and Trent for a threesome in the funniest, stupidest way possible.

☆ "caught in the middle" - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Ted/Trent/Beard

Uh oh, there's only one bed! Ft. Trent desperately needing a hug.

☆ "helpless in a game of kisses" - rated: M - chapters: 1/1 - Ted/Trent/Beard

Ted and Beard argue over who is a better kisser, as homies do. Trent is somehow made the referee. Surely this won't be weird at all. Or: How to break Trent Crimm's heart with seven simple kisses. And fix it with a few more.

primarily angst/more serious fics (generally happy endings)

☆☆ matters of the heart - rated: E - chapters: 2/2 (will be a series) - Trent & Everyone; Trent/Ted - somewhat angsty, character study

5 times someone had sex with Trent Crimm and it made him feel worse, and 1 time it actually felt good.

☆ lost sight of (who you are)- rated: T - chapters: 1/2 - will be Trent/Ted in ch 2 - somewhat angsty, character study. My first TL fic, written before s3

Trent Crimm, and becoming, and unbecoming, and becoming again. Or: Eventually, Trent writes a book. No, not that one.

☆ ink sunset - rated: T - chapters: 3/4 - Trent/Ted

Letters, unsent and sent, between Trent Crimm and Ted Lasso over the years.

☆☆ I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY / THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT - rated: T - chapters: 2/2 - Trent/Ted

Trent, and being sick, and being sick alone.

☆ make a mess of you - rated: T - chapters: 2/2 - Trent/Ted

Ted is drunk, and sad, and he really likes Trent Crimm. This cannot end well.

betrayal's sting / absolution's balm - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Ted & Everyone (Gen)

Five times Ted forgives someone… and one time he doesn't.

something to get off my chest - rated: T - chapters: 3/3 - Ted & Trent & Roy (Gen)

Three perspectives on the scene in the locker room.

to have hope - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin; Will (Gen)

Will overhears a conversation between Trent and Colin.

other fics

☆ moonlit - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Trent wakes up snuggled close with one Ted Lasso. And immediately overthinks it.

two (not) pieces of shit - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Colin (Gen)

In many ways, Trent's sort of become a mentor to Colin. But Colin has some things to teach Trent, too.

☆☆ being right - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Pre Trent/Ted - episode tag

Trent's opinion of Ted Lasso goes from utterly dismal, to slowly wearing down into something generally negative but with an edge of reluctantly impressed, to, abruptly, turning on a dime, something glowing.

off the handle - rated: T - chapters: 3/3 - Trent/Ted

Ted lets himself be angry, kisses the man of his dreams, accidentally makes said man of his dreams cry, acquires a boyfriend, and smashes some shit with Trent Crimm in a parking lot at 3 am. Not in that order. No one ask where Coach Beard got those mugs. (The man of his dreams, the acquired boyfriend, and Trent Crimm all happen to be the same person. This is a surprise to no one but Ted and Trent Crimm himself.)

creme, dough, and other jars - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - pre Trent/Ted - primarily humor

Ted receives an unexpected voice message from one Trent Crimm. At 3 am. About a jar of marshmallow crème.

linger - rated: G - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted; Rebecca

Rebecca comes to see why Ted hasn't gotten off the team bus yet.

some small comfort - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Trent/Ted

Trent finds Ted having a panic attack in the coaches' office.

☆ wayward thoughts - rated: G - chapters: 1/1 - Trent & Ted (Gen, but could be pre Trent/Ted)

Ted reads Trent's article, and lets his thoughts wander.

the dregs at the bottom of the glass - rated: T - chapters: 1/1 - Pre Trent/Ted (could be interpreted as Gen)

Trent tells Ted a story. Or: Trent, throughout his life, has realized over and over again that his parents actually Weren't Great, Actually. This is one of those times.

snippets:

truth liquor/confession - Trent & Press Room; mentioned Trent/Ted

Trent crushing his own recorder - Trent & Colin/Richmond Players (Gen)

Touch-starved Jamie - Gen; mention of past Keeley/Jamie - one of my few (only??) non Trent fics lol

Trent & Jamie talk about shitty dads - Gen

Michelle briefly meets Trent - Michelle & Trent, Michelle & Ted, ft eventual Trent/Ted

the fox & the wolf (Trent telling a fairy tale) - Trent & Roy & Colin; ft implied unrequited Trent/Ted

☆ the prince and the wyrm - (Trent telling a fairy tale but in a wildly different way to the last one) - Trent/Ted

☆ brief selkie snippet - implied Trent/Ted

snippet from a rom-com AU - Trent/Ted; Press Room

three voicemails/POV outsider - Trent/Ted; Lloyd the journo

high noon over richmond - Pre Trent/Ted; ft Beard

☆☆ second impressions (Ted's POV on Trent very early on in canon) - Gen, pre Trent/Ted)

☆☆ biting is a love language - Trent & Everyone; Trent/Ted

not the most romantic first "i love you" but very funny - Trent/Ted

mixed signals - Trent/Ted

They're both in need of a hug - Trent/Ted

Yet another silly Bantr reveal sort of fic - Trent/Ted (currently all text, should be expanded on)

some sneak peaks at wips i'm working on now (UNPOSTED and UNFINISHED, hence no links):

A Deeply Unfortunate Pre-Canon Roy/Trent Hookup

a very bizarre and somewhat smutty tedependent au involving a temple and some surprisingly sad shenanigans

Uh Oh It's The Ted/Trent/Roy/Beard Fic (Extremely E-Rated)

a terrifying mermaid-adjacent tedependent au

a cinderella-esque tedependent fic

a knight and wizard tedependent au

roytrent: romcommunism gone wrong au

Mistletoe Kiss (yeah this one's late)

Rebecca and Keeley Play Matchmaker For Trent and Ted. Oops

a crack addition to that superhero au

Most Of The Diamond Dogs Take Being Supportive Friends To A New Extreme

roytrent ensues. keeley gets to watch. everyone is pleased

one day i'll finish the fic about the other reporters drunkenly daring trent to seduce ted. one day

and MORE.

[kiatheinsomniac]

.・✫・゜・。. ｡⋆ʚ[ 𝐊𝐎-𝐅𝐈 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐏! ]♡⃛ɞ

──── 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏, 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐏? ˊˎ - ☾ ⋆ ﾟ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: apr. 2023: 2nd top supporter @magical-warlock 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Karl Heisenberg x Reader 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 0.5k 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: none

“You are a fool, Karl Heisenberg.* You grumbled as you applied an ointment to a particularly bad burn on the outer side of his right shoulder. “You truly have no care for your safety, do you? I know this isn’t exactly something of your world but this damned factory could never dream of passing a health and safety check.” 

He found your worried little snaps endearing, even if the cream you were applying was making his skin feel as though it were on fire all over again. He had removed his hat and shades in order to get a better look at you within the dim light of his factory, his kaleidoscopic hazel eyes taking in how your brow was pinched with worry and your lips were pressed in a frown in concentration. 

“What would I do if something happened to you, huh?” You huffed, “What would I do? I can’t run this place and I sure as hell wouldn’t face Miranda alone, the bitch.” Heisenberg flashed an amused little smile at your words, seeing how he’s rubbed off on you already. 

“I’ll be fine, buttercup.” He reassured you. 

“That’s not very convincing considering how one of your soldats just blew up with you standing next to it!” You bit out through gritted teeth. You were seething but, in reality, your love for Heisenberg outweighed the anger you held for his negligence for having got hurt in the first place. 

“These things happen from time to time.” He took your hand in one of his roughened and calloused ones. He always had some kind of healing cut or scratch over them, always had dried oil caked beneath his short fingernails from all his work. He gently rubbed his thumb in circles over the back of your much softer palm. “And now I know not to repeat my mistake. You mean the world to me and I want to get out of this damned village, I want to do it together. You trust that, don’t you?” You sighed, some of your tension melting with the exhale, as you recalled the board in the entrance that held all of his plans to take down the other Lords and overthrow Mother Miranda. 

“Of course I do…” You replied in a much calmer tone. “I… You just gave me a scare, is all.” In order to show him that you truly did forgive him, you leaned down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, his beard scratching slightly against his face. He tasted of tobacco from his cigars, he always did. You’d come to find that your lover always smelled of oil, tobacco and a hard day’s work. 

“I know, buttercup. I promise I won’t let it happen again.” He stood up from the stool that you had earlier thrown him down onto so that he could rise up enough to hold you in his arms, swaying gently with you as he held you to his chest. “We’re getting out of here together, you and me…” 

☾ ⋆ ﾟlike my work? why not: ∘ buy me a coffee? ∘ commission me? ∘ join my taglist ∘ consider following/reblogging

🏷️@asianbutnotjapanese @danielle-marie @yourfamilyfriendsatan @firagirl @ghostofpolaris

[oswincoleman]

2023 Year in Review: Jenna Coleman public appearances

1. Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons press night

2. Finch and Chanel pre-BAFTA party

3. Royal Horticultural Society gala

4. Chanel dinner

5. Nuclear Children premiere

6. Veronica Beard summer party

7. Chanel show at the Paris fashion week

8. Wimbledon

9. Armani dinner in Venice

10. Armani fashion show in Venice

11. Miu Miu Women's Tales in Venice

12. BGC charity day

13. V&A museum dinner

14. ATG summer party

15. Vogue World

16. JW Anderson fashion show at the London fashion week

17. Vanya premiere

18. Evening Standard theatre awards

19. Chanel party in Manchester

20. Chanel fashion show in Manchester

Which one was your favourite?

[perseephoneee]

meeting santa Claus. With Klaus from Academy Umbrella

meeting santa klaus (klaus hargreeves x reader) {ficmas 2023}

꒰ ࿁ ˙ ˖ ໑ happy day 9 of ficmas!

a/n: i forgot how much i missed writing for my baby boy. my favorite klaus (sorry mikaelson).

↳ masterlist  ↳ ship exchange ↳ taglist ↳ ficmas 2023

Much like everyone else in the world, you lived under the assumption that Santa Claus was a larger man with a long beard, rosy cheeks, and a jolly troupe of reindeer. While the reindeer part is correct, the rest of it is horribly wrong and something that will haunt you for years to come. 

You discovered the truth of the universe when a long banging, followed by much swearing, could be heard in your living room. It was Christmas Eve, but you had been alone since your roommates had gone home for the holidays. You were spending the day alone, not wanting to deal with family politics this year. This is why hearing any sounds was very alarming at this moment. Afraid of a burglar in your house, you held your phone in one hand with the finger over the 911 button and a plunger in the other. You had no great weapons and felt that at least you could whack someone with the toilet plunger. You tip-toed down your stairs, your heart beating erratically as you looked down over your banister into your living room. Someone dressed in a loose-fitting red suit was cursing in your living room as they struggled to get some stuff out of a sack. You snuck into the living room, plunger above your head, and were entirely ready to attack when the burglar looked up with wide eyes at your weapon. You both started screaming. 

“What are you doing in my house?” you yelped, jumping back as the intruder sat up. 

“Is that a plunger?” he asked, voice confused. On closer inspection, he was a skinny man with thin facial hair and kind blue eyes. He looked a bit eclectic, and he was dressed like Santa. 

“My house, why are you here?”

“Funny story, actually,” he drawled hands on his hips. He was wearing Chuck Taylors. You had never seen someone dressed as Santa wearing Converse. “I am…Santa.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, seriously, I’m Santa! Santa ‘Klaus’ to be exact,” he raised his hands in front of him as if in surrender. You pocked your phone but kept your plunger weapon up. 

“And I’m Krampus,” you deadpanned, not believing him. 

“Technically, my name is just Klaus, and my brother is Santa,” he laughed, eyeing your plunger with a small degree of fear. “In my family, one of us inherits the role of being Santa every generation. However, he decided he wanted a break this year, and I had to deal with it. I’m not first born or a favorite of daddy dearest, so it shouldn’t be my post at all.”

You listened to his story with wide eyes and a level of confusion. 

“Anyway, here I am, being Santa Klaus for everyone this Christmas, and I have to say, I have no idea how my brother, Luther, does it. He’s a huge guy, and I fell down that chimney. Also, I’m exhausted and could use a drink. Got any tequila?”

“I’m sorry?” You were wondering if you were still dreaming. 

“Tequila? I swore off the drugs a while ago, but I still consider drinking okay.”

“Prove it,” you huffed. “Prove you’re Santa.”

“Oh heavens,” Klaus threw a hand over his face. He looked around, exasperated, before flicking his hand. Suddenly, all the decorations in your room were floating, and the lights flickered in a rhythmic pattern. You fell back into one of the armchairs in the living room, mouth open like a fish as Klaus set everything back to normal. Oh, you had to be still dreaming. This couldn’t be happening. You had a clinically insane Santa Claus, sorry ‘Klaus,’ in your living room, and you were armed with only a plunger. A candy cane was waved in front of your face. You looked up to see Klaus before you, apologetic as he handed you the candy. You noticed tattoos running up his hands and arms—a tattooed Santa Klaus. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Y/N. I hate scaring people.”

“How do you know my name?” you whispered.

“I’m Santa; I know everything,” he winked. You unfurled your candy cane and stuck it in your mouth, brain trying to catch up with everything happening. 

“Okay, you’re Santa. Santa is real. Santa is not one guy but a bunch of guys. Santa likes tequila.” 

“Luther hates tequila. I just like to rebel across the system,” Klaus smiles. It takes you a moment to notice that his Santa costume is red leather lace-up pants, a red robe, and a classic red hat that barely fits on his dark hair. 

“Punk rock, Santa,” you mutter, taking a bite from your candy. “How is, uh, being Santa?”

“Oh, it’s going terribly,” Klaus sighed, collapsing to the floor before you. His hand was thrown over his eyes like an old Greek statue. You said nothing about his state of dramatics. “I’m so behind. I don’t understand how this has ever been done in one night.”

“Do you use magic?”

“Of course,” he rolled over, his head propped up on his hand. Suddenly, an idea came to him, and he rolled towards you. You jumped back as his hands landed on the armrests of your chair, trapping you in. He smelled like a mojito– minty but also alcoholic. Mojitos were your favorite drinks. “You should help me!”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re by yourself, armed with a plunger. I’m in need of assistance, and I’m lonely,” Klaus was infectious with how he smiled at you. He was like an excitable puppy. “We can help each other! Make Christmas memories.”

“Why would I be helpful?” you ask.

“Because you’re a helpful person,” Klaus says, matter of fact. “You organize the homeless drive every Sunday, don’t you?” You would ask how he knows that but decide it’s likely magic, and that asking would leave you with more questions. Instead, you nod, confirming his question. “You have a big heart; you’re perfect for this job.”

“I’m…human,” you mutter meekly. Klaus grabs your face between his hands, effectively shushing you. 

“Me too! Mostly. Darling, you’re perfect.”

You decide that arguing with the fake Santa that wandered into your house wouldn’t be fruitful. Plus, you had no plans for Christmas except reading a good book and drinking mimosas. You ask if you can get dressed, but Klaus assures you that what you wear is fine. Of course, you wear a robe with pajama pants and smiley-face slippers. You and Klaus left out the front door since the chimney sounded like a bad idea. You guffaw at the sight of reindeer in your suburban street with a cherry wood sleigh. Klaus skips over like an excitable child and gives loving pats to all the reindeer. He shows you the proper way to pet them, and you giggle as Dancer and Blitzen lick your hand and try to steal part of your candy cane. Klaus lends a hand, and you climb into the sleigh. It’s so quiet outside that you’re shocked your neighbors aren’t hearing the commotion. You’re even more shocked when they don’t hear your screech as you take off into the air. Klaus grabs your hand in comfort, and you realize you like his presence. He’s mental, but he’s kind and somehow makes you feel completely safe when you should be losing your mind. 

What Klaus has in enthusiasm, you make up for in organizational skills. He gives you a magic skull key to help sneak into people’s houses (it feels illegal), and together, you double productivity as you drop off presents. You even steal a few cookies and some baklava from a Ukrainian home as you go. The kids were asleep on the floor as you snuck by to drop off your presents, and you were afraid they’d hear you as you moaned around the taste of the dessert. You stole some extra for Klaus, who reacted like you. 

You went to so many different countries you had never been to before, and the smile on your face was permanent as you soared across the skies with the real-life Santa. You wondered how you were chosen for such a treat, and you still wondered it as Klaus finally brought you back to your home at five a.m. on Christmas day. 

“Why me?” you asked, turning to Klaus in the sleigh as he eased the reindeer to a stop. He looked at you, confused. “Out of everyone that could’ve helped you tonight, you chose me. I just…don’t know why. I’m not special.”

“Oh, but you are; you’re so special,” Klaus grabbed your hands, running his fingers over your knuckles. “And I just like you. You’re kind. I could tell from your aura the second you tried to kill me with your plunger.” You chuckled a bit at that. 

“Thank you for choosing me,” you whispered. You kissed Klaus’ cheek, exited the sleigh, and bound into your house. You watched from your doorway as he became nothing more than a beam of light on the horizon. Climbing up your stairs, exhaustion finally crept into your bones, and you passed out immediately in bed. 

When you woke up and blearily descended your stairs, you were startled to find a present under the tree. You were even more pleasantly surprised when you unwrapped it and found one of the reindeer bells and a note from Klaus:

Call me. Even Santas use telephones.

[helpinghanikan]

Star Wars: Kinktober 2023

Day 1: Oral (Obi-Wan kenobi)

Kinktober Masterlist

Jedi robes were known for three things: being stylish, being dramatic, and being the absolute bane of your existence.

You’ve been trying to figure out how to separate the pants from the under-tunic for the past two minutes. Knots and ties kept it together in a fight but also kept you from getting to your prize. All the while Obi-Wan looks down with a bemused smile on his face.

“You’re doing very well,” He says, a hand gently touching your hair.

This had started off as sexy. Pulling Obi-Wan into your room, falling to your knees after a good kiss. Only to be thwarted by the stupid Kriffing ties!

“How upset would you be if I just cut them?” You asked.

Before you could answer the final knot let go. While his pants didn’t completely fall away it did open enough for you to finally get his cock. His warm and excited in your spit-wet hand.

“You can do whatever you want.” He says with his head tilted back.

And do whatever you want you do. There was no time for teasing or foreplay, there was only the want to taste him. To have his weight in your mouth and know that whatever noise he makes for the next few minutes is because of you and you alone.

Starting with a kiss you enveloped the tip with your lips. Sucking down and sliding him further into your mouth. Repeating this process again and again until he gets the hint and starts moving his hips on his own.

“Ah, fuck. There we go…” He sighs, hips rocking gently into your mouth.

You’ve never told him but Obi-Wan’s face tended to blush easily. Heavy exercise or an argument can cause his cheeks to turn a rosy pink. This is especially so when he gets sexual attention, or even when you lean against him and whisper in his ear.

Ahsoka had dropped the theory that this was why he grew a beard. Better to hide the pink when you pass by and give a wink.

Sliding him from your mouth you have the view of his rose-colored face. He looks down at you as though he’d be willing to leave the order and kill if you were to simply ask. The same could be said for yourself, willing to do anything for this man above you.

“They’re going to miss us,” You say, stroking his from tip to base. “Better hurry up, my beautiful boy.”

To emphasize this you lick the underside of his cock. Grinning when he slaps a hand over his mouth. He was close, you could taste it, and you wanted more.

It doesn’t take long to get Obi-Wan there. Back and forth your head bobs along his cock. Not willing to try and deep throat him and cause yourself to gag and ruin the moment. What parts you couldn’t get into your mouth were covered by your hand. Gently rubbing and stroking without rhyme or reason, only in search of that practical howl Obi-Wan gives.

You get just what you want. Refusing to let him pull away when he cums into your mouth.

He’s basking in the afterglow of his orgasm while you spit out into the trash can. Not the best taste in the world but it was worth it to see Obi-Wan bask in himself for the moment. Especially knowing that he’ll insist on getting you back later.