#worst thing is that even if she did it... she wont admit because she never admits to doing those things. and then we find the missing items

[narwa]

i think my sister stole my weed

[autism-corner]

its easy to blame mental problems on yourself but the good thing is! it only takes one sentence for my mom to blow up and show me where i got it all =w=b

[carnalhaus]

american tradition: forge of the cyclops

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It was rare that Sledge ever knew what he was crying about. He kept a mental checklist when he was sober enough. Enid’s red hair was growing back in. The cat rubbed on his leg. He realized he didn’t know how to braid. Now is one of those rare times where his pupils are the size they’re supposed to be, not too big or too small. Praline made a habit of checking. Speaking of which, there she was. 

The two of them are on the floor of the kitchen. That’s to say, the kitchenette of the single-wide trailer they holed up in after the previous owner died. They shouldn’t have made a habit of it, but they did. Finding obituaries is getting pretty easy nowadays, thanks to the internet. The overhead light flickers, but they’re lucky the lights are still on in this place at all. They’re all very lucky people, because Sledge is lucky his crying isn’t waking up the whole damn house. 

This time, he’s crying about guilt. He makes sure to catalogue that while he cries. That ugly thing that eats at his heart once a month, whenever the lights turn low and the girls count sheep. Truth be told, he’s the only one who thinks about those years anymore. Praline is always too busy asking what’s for dinner, and Enid only cares about sneaking the smokes from his jean pockets. They whine and laugh just like they always did, kicking the back of his seat in the car and flinging food at him while Stat goes to grab another beer. The world has moved on without him, and he’s still there, bowing and scraping in the mud for forgiveness. 

Most people say you should feel guilty for the rest of your life. Some people say it’s more selfish to keep groveling after you’re already forgiven.

Maso-fucking-chistic. 

Sledge is doing some stupid babbling like usual when he cries. Same old wash and rinse of ‘I love you and I’m sorry’ that went on for an hour at a time every full moon. Praline was never very savvy on human connection, so her face is contorted into an angry frown, the closest thing to sadness and concern she can muster. She looks pissed, even through the blur of his tears. The dull acrylics digging into his shoulders aren’t helping much. 

She presses her forehead to his, clumsy and rough like she’s trying to give him a concussion, and through his tears she’s now a cyclops. Two eyes fashioned into one big watery mirror. He can barely see his reflection, the curve of his sunken cheekbones blacked out in ink. The untamed hair on the nape of his neck is tangled in her fist, holding him there like she’s got a handle on some mustang’s mane. And just like one, he’s wild and afraid. Whale-eyed. 

“I am the only thing you care about,” she says it like a mantra, and in a way it’s true. “So quit it. Quit killing yourself because you think I should be doing it for you. You are so self-fucking-righteous.” 

It feels like she’s talking him off a ledge. He knows better than anyone else that a curse from her mouth is a beg and a plead. Gone and did it again, he did. Spooked so bad she’s trying to tug on his lead rope and control his head. That’s all she knows how to do. Control, control, control. Praline’s scared, even if she wont admit it. She’s holding her breath.

His hand can’t reach her neck to feel her pulse and he’s not sure he wants it to. He doesn’t want to risk scraping her collarbone or her shoulder, those were the worst parts. The ones he had the worst memories of having to hold so hard he thought they’d crumble. So he reaches up to feel it on her wrist, wrapping around the bones and feeling over the veins. Touching her feels too similar to pulling apart a warm rotisserie chicken. Really, it does. Bones and all. That’s why he always hated it, ever since he met her. He has to hold back some bile.

“Screw your head back on,” she says. It’s through her teeth, eyes wide, and her head presses harder into his. Sledge is gonna have a headache later, whether it’s from all the crying or Praline trying to give him the iron claw. He can’t blame her. He’s being fucking annoying and being rough is all she knows. He counts the beats from her radial artery, blood rushing in his ears to drown everything else out. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, zero, zero, nine, nine, zero, nine, nine, zero, nine, nine.

“I’m screwed,” he finally chokes out. Dumb, but he says it, and he finally gasps in a shaky breath. For a second, she doesn’t believe him. Nobody really would. But that pressure eases off his cranium and her claws snake out of his hair. He’s breathing alright, a little hiccup here and there, but it usually doesn’t get any better than that anyway. Praline sits back on her knees, and Sledge stays hunched over with awkward limbs like some marionette. Feels like he just got punched in the nose, pain radiating from his forehead down to his eye sockets. 

It’s only now that he sees the flakes of mascara under her eyes, the kind that said it was waterproof on the package when she picked it up. No longer a cyclops, just some girl sitting with him on the linoleum. She’s got her Betty Boop pajama pants on, seam busted at the thigh, inseams too short on her ankles, and it makes him wanna cry even harder seeing her look like such a kid. Sledge keeps a loose hand on her wrist and she lets him, holding her arm out like she’s waiting for an IV. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, zero, zero, nine, nine, zero, nine, nine, zero, nine, nine. 

“Don’t do that no more,” and her voice is a little more wobbly this time when she speaks to him. “I hate when you do that, when you go and cry. I don’t know what to do, Sledge.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” is the first thing that tumbles out of his mouth in a while, instinctual and pathetic. Sounded like the little bleat of a lamb, it did. Praline doesn’t like that answer, so her eyes harden up and she cocks her head into his line of vision. 

“You don’t have to do anything,” she repeats. The way she throws his words back in his face is probably the nicest slap she’ll ever give him, and it makes him choke out a little sob. “But you’re still here anyway, cause you don’t know when to fuckin’ quit, n’ maybe I don’t either.”

They go quiet after that. Not much else to say, and neither of them were ever very book smart. Lini got held back cause she couldn’t read a damn thing when she was real little. A few sniffles fill the prolonged silence, and he’s not sure how much time passes. Praline’s dull nails run over his forearm. Not gentle, not soothing, just tracing over the sharp curves of his tattoo like a toddler cutting with safety scissors. Bored and unpracticed. The time for being sentimental has passed. She scrunches up her nose and tugs at a few blonde arm hairs, and Sledge thinks it’s the Cain instinct when he wants to hit her in the jaw. Eventually he settles for smacking her hand away, and she does the same damn thing. Couple of idiots they were, always acting like they grew up in a chicken coop together. 

“Ice cream?” Is all Praline says. Sledge has to blink at her like an idiot a few times before it clicks in his brain. That’s what he always asks her about when she gets upset. Ever since her and Enid were younger, he’d always ask about some stupid ice cream when they’d cry, like it would fix everything. Maybe it did, if she’s asking now. 

They only had a half eaten pint, so she put a scoop each into two pebbled plastic cups they stole from a diner, and topped it off with some coke. A little warm still, they only popped the cans in the fridge an hour ago. Sledge took up residency on the couch and he watched her the whole time, cooing about how sweet she was and trying not cry again. He tells her she’s so fancy-schmancy making a coke float for him and she tells him to shut up cuz it’s gonna foam up if she can’t concentrate.

When she joins him on the couch, he puts his legs in her lap and she locks them in with her elbows. It’s times like these where he doesn’t feel like the oldest kid. Praline isn’t sixteen anymore. There’s no baby fat cushioning her sharp cheekbones, and she hasn’t gotten that stubborn pimple on her chin in years. But when he looks at her too long, he still sees a kid breaking her ankles in her mom’s clubbing heels.  Clumsy and unpracticed, like a baby deer learning how to walk. He’d seen her walk miles in those stupid shoes, though. Maybe she was getting older. 

Coke floats damn good. Not quite rootbeer, but this is how they did it in the good ol’ days. That’s what his father always said. Floats came from Philly, in his humble home state of Pennsylvania. He didn’t know what the hell his dad was talking about half the time with that Philly bullshit, cause he was from Pittsburgh. It’s dead quiet, and this is the point where he starts feeling embarrassed. How old is he now? Thirty, almost? But Praline doesn’t look twice at him. Doesn’t curl her lip or shrug him off. She’s too focused on licking the ice cream foam off her top lip. Speaking of which, she drank that thing quick. She burps and he knees her in the ribs, just enough to make her hit him on the shin. Like always, she gives him that laugh, something between a giggle and a snort. 

That bunny smile she gives him is refreshing, and it gives him the courage to crack one too. Endorphins were finally hitting, better than any heroin he tried. Usually that euphoria just ended with vomiting on her shirt. 

“Your face is gon’ get all puffed in the morning from bawling your damn eyes out,” she starts, and she’s already swinging his legs off of her lap to go scramble over to the freezer again. “Gotta ice it.”

Sledge doubts it’ll help, cause nothing she tries ever really does. But he lets her, and he can’t help but scrunch his face up and squeal a little from how cold it is. Like a girl, she says, and he tells her to stop being mean. That only does so much, cause then she drops the rest of the ice cube down the front of his shirt.

[according2thelore]

wait i have more to say. i saw someone else say that youre their favorite wincest writer and i just need to raise my hand and say ME TOO!!!!

i only VERY recently admitted to my best friend that i ship them and when i was reading house song i was going NUTS and i NEEDED to talk about it. so i ended up sending my friend a 10 minute long voice message going through the plot and how beautifully written it is and how its fucking me up!!!!!! im going crazy and shaking dean just SHOT HIS DAD!!!!!!!!! AND IT WAS BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! and my friend was like holy fuck that fic sounds crazy but in a good way and they dont ship it but i think they at least get it now lmfao because wow.

and deans guilt over the life he has given sam. an orphan living on a mattress with no money and just his fucked up older brother. goddamn. i want to hug dean. and sam thinking the worst that dean left him like dad. but then ultimately realizing there is literally NOTHING dean wouldnt do to reach him. its just so cathartic and OH THE FLASHBACK TO BABY SAM. ‘no boo boos?’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and then then the parallel because sam is covered in blood again and it ISNT HIS. NO BOO BOOS!!!!!!! but he is so so so hurt oh my goddddd

im sorry im so feral about you i just dont have the magical talent with words that you do. like deans admission and saying that the word falls out of his mouth like a dead body hits the ground????? how can i even attempt to match your beautiful fucking mind. ugh. i wont recover from this. your an inspiration for real. okay i will leave you alone now thank you for the brain worms

HELLO!!

GUH the hits keep COMING!!!!!!

i am giggling and kicking my feet that you explained my fic to a FRIEND HOLY SHIT!!!!! oh to hear this voice message lol <3

i had to read this ask series out loud to charlotte, who was also giggling and kicking her feet on my behalf.

i am so glad you found it believable! that was one of the biggest struggles for me, and i liked the boys' characterization in this one, so i'm so sososo happy that you did too!!!!!

i've never done this before, but i thought since you like it, you might find the planning process interesting! i don't do outlines for all of my fics, just the really hefty ones (the heaven fic, this one, and a few others), and i've found this helps me a lot! you can see some things that i've cut or changed. charlotte and i usually plan these out over face time, lol, and she was mostly asleep through this entire planning one (in her defense, she had been working all day). i hope you find it interesting!

i hope you don't think less of me now that you know i wrote that they "boink" 🙏 it was like two in the morning. also handwriting reveal? omg?

anon, i've said it before but i'll say it again--THANK YOU SO MUCH🥺🥺🥺🥺 uno reverse card as well bc folks like you encourage/inspire authors to keep writing!

i always love hearing which parts folks like best, and this fed me for months to come!!!!!!

and please feel welcome to come back and scream with me about these two any time the mood hits you, lol!

-lizzy BELIEVE IT OR NOT BECAUSE ANON IS TRYING TO MELT ME this is 2/3!!!!!!

(house song, the fic in question for anyone curious!)

[plusdanshii]

catney dynamic fully explained part 2

same tws as part1 🫶

so… thats what care thinks about whitney. he really is the source of all her problems. but she doesn’t know if she made the right or wrong decision by interfering (not because she cares about what happens to him, at all) because if she hadn’t interfered then whitney wouldve been taken away forever, and she really wouldve never saw him again. but would that have meant that she wouldn’t think about him? she doesn’t think so. even if whitney were killed she would still think about his crying face and how badly she wants to hurt him. not the way he intended but, he did end up breaking her, in a way.

during low love and high love, care still holds the same exact opinion of him as she did before. ive been talking alot about about how care feels about whitney, but after everything that happened how does whitney feel about care now? well… hes still obsessed with her but in a completely different way now.

care has 0/6 exhibitionism and 2/6 promiscuity so you can imagine that most of their encounters dont end up well. i dont know why beating the shit out of whitney doesnt lower his love. its extremely rare for care to allow a non consensual encounter by whitney to finish, 9/ 10 times will she fight him off using her bare fists or pepper spray. he always keeps coming back for more though.. he definitely likes getting beaten up by her. care is a normal pc now but thanks to whit she can have some nasty defiant moments, though she only really shows them to him.

with her friends and the people she loves, she always very very kind. with whitney shes the complete opposite. she doesn’t look him in the eye when she speaks to him, and even then she doesnt really speak to him its more at him. the most time she’ll ever speak to him is when its raining and she asks him for a cigarette (something she only started doing after seeing him cry). and the banter between the two of them cant even be considered banter, just insulting each other in the worst ways possible.

“aww, whats got my slut so done? didnt feel like fucking all the teachers after school today?” “fuck off this is literally why your mother abandoned you and why your dad beat you when you were a child. i hope you were molested by your uncle too.”

“you always look so pissy around me, what is it, does my girlfriend not like me?” “no, not at all whitney. i can only just barely tolerate your existence because you look like a girl you know? if it weren’t for your face i would gladly leave you to die.”

she does speak to him in math whenever hes there but thats more out of boredom than anything else. the one good thing that came out of whitney thinking she likes him is that students are less willing to bullying her now, i guess.

now i see whitney as being really smart but when youre so in love with someone it makes you blind so he just tells himself that shes joking… and mostly believes it. he probably thinks that “shes just like me fr” and that shes a tsundere. her being uncomfortable with promiscuous acts also means hes pent up as hell. he wants to fuck her pussy so, so bad, hes always hounding her like the sex pest he is. she will give him oral once in awhile just so he can leave her the fuck alone but only when theyre alone. and even then its not enough because he cant (and wont ever) be inside her like how he wants too.

whitney sees her as his property/ girlfriend-pet. hes always thinking about her. hes now finally able to admit that hes in infatuated with her, i think. and it doesn’t annoy him like how it did before. he cant get enough of her, she has this magnetizing grip on his psyche and he doesn’t ever want to let her go. he loves her.

does he know? no, he doesn’t have a goddamn clue LMAO. i highly doubt he would still love her the same if he did know. hes so infatuated he probably would… but not nearly to the same degree. sometimes she thinks about telling him. during the seldom moments when theyre alone together and he acts normal with her and for a second she feels like she communicating with a real human being— and not the biggest victim of doltown— shes suddenly drowning with enough guilt to instantly kill a catholic and wants all the pressure off her chest— and then he says/ does something that completely ruins moment and shes left still frustrated but a little less guilty.

being the empathetic person that she is she does feel a little sorry for whitney despite everything hes done to her, because i mean… in a place like this, you dont end up like THAT without something terrible happening to you, she reasons. obviously thats not nearly enough for her to stop fantasizing about killing him but it is something thats always in the back of her mind. what sydney said about him too, “its clear that hes suffering alot.”

whats the resolution to this? idk. care will probably live the rest of her live in never ending dread because she will never be able to stop fantasizing about hurting whitney. she’ll never tell anyone and its unlikely that anyone will ever find out either … she will probably end up going to sister jordan and beg her to “purge” her but who knows if that would help her. shes stuck in a never ending feedback loop of desire and intense guilt forever.

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

(Same anon as the Gonta-Kokichi-Miu comic post) That Gonta afterlife AU sounds really. (Btw, sorry for using capslock a lot in that post, I tried to cut some of it down after I'd already finished writing the post but there was too much in that post to do in like 5 minutes).

I wonder what the other dead v3 members would think about Alter Ego Gonta though. I can see the Alter Ego looking really mad when someone says that he "was just manipulated", "it's okay, you don't have to listen to him anymore", "I'll give you some time to catch up with your feelings about him!," and "Don't worry, I'll make sure he won't bother you until you want to confront him!". Imagine some of them thinking the reason the two Gontas can't reunite is cause they haven't expected they're manipulated.

It's not really a secret that the cast kinda hate Kokichi, even back in chapter 3 when the worst thing he'd done was the Insect Meet and Greet which even Kaito, in a roundabout way, admitted the idea of was good, no one thought to ask about his head wound (I headcanon that someone-Kiibo maybe- did a bit of first aid on him before the trial but we're sadly never gonna get clarification on that). Even Kirumi had to call him "a despicable cretin" before she died for no reason (well, there was a reason, but did the writers really have to include at least one line of every character hating on Kokichi?)

Though the people who hated him the most due to being there for chapter 4 are alive and well (Kiibo forgave him, Tsumugi gets no say in this matter she is worse, and Kaito kinda depends on who you ask and if they care about that one line he says about Kokichi right before his execution- which was actually changed to sound meaner in the localization I believe?). I can definitely see some people (Angie, Tenko, etc.) hating (or upgrading to despising) him when they learn about what he did in chapter 4 from Miu or someone else.

This would definitely lead to Gonta getting a free pass from everyone cause "it wasn't his fault," and Gonta just going along with everyone but wondering if maybe, just maybe he might have had a hand in planning Miu's death as well, arranging the whole thing. I mean, who really knows, Kokichi does but you can never be sure about the percentage of honesty in his claims. This leads Gonta right back to his Alter Ego, who, wouldn't you know it, has the answers and tells him to think back on his friendship with Kokichi, before the killing game got to their heads and took away their morals. And maybe, after he finishes doing this himself and offering an olive branch to Kokichi, he can convince some of his easier-going classmates to do the same (I now want someone to write an ao3 fic about this).

Anyway, this is just my vision for Afterlife Ougoku friendship. I would love to see more of this, or another, Afterlife AU though.

I will give Kirumi a pass, Kokichi did like, have her chase him for hours and constantly called her a name she hated, personal vendetta against kokichi acceptable when you are kirumi and he wont leave you the fuck alone with the mommy comments.

Honestly I am rotating the imagery of two Gonta ghosts, alter ego and memory loss, Ego and Loss for short and how they have to interact. Loss feels betrayed but also uncertain because of the things Ego said about not being tricked and things not adding up, but he's surrounded by people telling him he has never done anything wrong in his life and I love Gonta but he is a little terrible at peer pressure and not falling in with a crowd so Loss could get definitely talked more against Kokichi and trying to absolve himself of blame, even if he's always going to have that kind of sick feeling of being desperate for the acknowledgement you did something please someone see he did things wrong because you know you did but no one will face it and that hurts more, while Ego is frustrated but also isolating in that Gonta angst because he doesnt think he should share the information he got and he's angry that even in death his friends are still hating each other and he doesn't know how to fix it or what to do and he's blaming himself too much for the murder.

Like it doesn't even have to be ougoku this as just a character study of the facets of Gonta's personality is already fascinating and I am already thinking of duet songs for them

[armslikeanchors]

my first meal today is breakfast cereal at 1:00pm

im looking at this picture and reflecting after a short text convo with my best friend after 3 days of silence on her side

she’s pictured here

took this photo when i went on a solo trip to oakland california to visit her for a couple days, im surprised my mom let me take the plane by myself

i actually really love the airport and plane trips. it was my first time going by myself and it was a bit daunting but, i really love being alone sometimes

it felt natural, i felt grown, in a good way

anyways i took this photo while on a walk with her and her mom at a botanical garden-park in san fran, if i remember correctly

3 months after this we would have a falling out over something miniscule, which we overcame a bit over a month ago this year; i’ll get into it in a bit

sam, my best friend, and i had been inseparable since the day we met in 2nd grade

by the end of the school year she moved back to california, but we kept in contact: playing minecraft on our ps3s while on a skype call

simple times

every year we would meet up maybe once or twice for a day or two since then

in october of 2023 she got upset at me over a text i sent her regarding a festival we wanted to go to

i told her that i had a couple friends going to the festival and that i hope she wouldnt mind if i was really invested in spending time with them, since i had never hung out with them before

it was never meant in the way she took it, but the damage was done

i guess she felt i wouldnt make her feel included

which i wish she knew wasn’t true

she can be dramatic at times. growing up together shes always been like that and, in a way, i admired it because it was silly. it was raw, and she would apologize and own up to any little thing she did.

i dont tell her or her mom often but, ive truly always believed that her mom really raised her well. ive always supported sam through everything and i know she’ll make the life she dreams of

anyway to the reflecting:

i texted her i believe early august (i tried looking for the message but they wont load)

and apologized that what i said came off as rude but that it wasnt intended to be that way

she apologized too for taking it the wrong way and we admitted to each other that things have been hard and that our friendship-breakup had been eating away at us since then

the whole time i believed she was over me and didnt care, as i fall victim to overthinking and drawing conclusions (though i have learnt since then that things arent always worst-case scenario)

she visited me in august and we spent a day together (sleepover, junk food, movies and all) and we caught each other up on everything that had happened since october in the mall food court

i was annoyingly loud about things since i get heated over certain topics but, in the moment, i didnt care if i made a fool of myself in front of everyone there because i was just glad to have my best friend back

cut to today and ive realized that since our hangout, she hasnt been talking to me much. i get it though because shes starting college and met the sweetest boy, and im proud of her

im just afraid that we’ve grown too different.

its one of those cliche moments where one friend gets in a relationship and does things in life and the other one is sitting, waiting for a text back

it feels kind of pathetic but im trying not to let it get to me

i dont know,

the day we hung out was really nice but i get this gut feeling with people thats nearly always, unfortunately, true

in which

we’ve grown so different it seems they’re not the same person anymore

i dont know if shes truly my best friend anymore, yknow

shes made several friends since our falling out, friends that she does activities her and i would do when we got to meet up

even trips together like we did !! which is really cool !

anyway, ill love her forever but, the distance was so long and the taste of it all was so bitter i dont know if theres hope for recover anymore

i tell my friends: losing someone in your life makes space for people you never knew could make life feel worth living

maybe that’s what’s happening

the scary part is that only time will tell

but thats okay, here i am

[mojaves]

👻💋🙈🌻🎤🏪🏡⚰️ + ryan :]

👻 GHOST: Do they believe in the supernatural or paranormal? Have they ever had any “encounters”?

ryan did not believe in ghosts for most of her life. she thought it was just a stupid money making tactic. and then she met her now girlfriend, who very early on into their friendship admitted she sees ghosts. and ryan was like. ok. i have a little bit of a crush on you. so i'll indulge. and then soon after that actually witnessed something that undeniably proved that ghosts are, in fact, real.

and well if that didnt convince her, she later died but not really and then started seeing ghosts herself. so. !

short answer. yeagh

💋 KISS MARK: What’s their signature look, if any? Do they have a gesture or piece of jewelry or something else that acts as a calling card for them?

ponytail. subtle brown tinted makeup. the most fun earrings you have ever seen. bucket hats. corduroy overalls. chunky trainers. are you seeing my vision.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL: What’s the worst thing they’ve ever seen? Do they tend to be a bystander or do they intervene?

the out of body experience she had when she was half dead on the ground, watching as people around her who were unlucky enough to be caught up in the same accident died one by one. she generally tries to intervene whenever she gets the chance, because she knows others would try to do the same for her. but godddd. being trapped outside your own body being unable to do anything to help anyone??? that really did some damage!!! i wont lie!!!

🌻 SUNFLOWER: Do people generally tend to like them? What personality traits do they have that draw others in?

she is Very loud and blunt and outspoken. is not afraid to share her opinion. or raise her voice to get her point across. and its very hard to see past that for some people. but when someone Is willing to get to know her despite all that, they'll learn that she is Very caring, in a very. fierce?? sort of way?? baring her teeth. not afraid to go for the throat if someone hurt you. even if it's not necessary. she Will fight to the death for you, and will never leave you behind. once youre friends with ryan it's for LIFE. she is not letting go of you anytime soon.

🎤 MICROPHONE: What does their voice sound like? Do they have a notable accent? Can they sing, and if so, what would they sing at a karaoke night?

kind of rough?? but not grating on the ears. a bit deep. [i am not good at describing voices. just. listen to rach/el senn/ott in literally anything. you will understand] she cannot sing but she doesnt care she will still absolutely kill it at karaoke with her passion alone.

🏪 CONVENIENCE STORE: What would be their go-to convenience store snacks?

salted chips. peanut m&ms. mixes them in the same bag. throw in a couple of pretzels too and she is all set for the next week. she wont share it with you though. she has shown you the ingredients. do it yourself.

🏡 HOUSE WITH GARDEN: Where do they live? Do they have a house to themselves or do they live with somebody, or something else?

she lives with her gf and gf's brother, in an old apartment in a small town in louisiana [: the town is located next to a forest surrounding a huuuge lake!! it's very pretty. dont stay there too long though or you could end up like alex [dont worry about it]

⚰️ COFFIN: How do they feel about death?

honestly. it has never bothered her all that much?? her grandparents died when she was pretty young, and many of her pets too, so she very quickly accepted it as just another part of life. she's not necessarily indifferent to it, it Does upset her, but like. she doesn't see it as anything to be scared of, it's something that happens to everyone eventually. ryan included!!! she's seen it firsthand, she's experienced it for a very brief moment, she gets glimpses of ghosts and corpses every other day. it's just another part of her life

[sburbian-sage]

Howdy there! Im a Knight of Blood, and a human, in the same session as those cherubs!

The sister went a bit cuckoo after she smashed her PC, and stayed up a few days in a row without sleepin, runnin from land to land grindin though quests like a maniac. Eventually one of us told her that her message went through on yer blog and youd responded, and she lost it even more when she read it.

But, ya know what? It actually worked out real well! I guess she hates ya more than her brother now, and that lets her manage to get through a conversation with him without losin it, knowin that he aint the *worst* person around.

Course, all the rest of us think yer pretty great. I think this coulda been a real nightmare of a session. To hear her tell it, all ya did was insult her, but I think she took some of yer points it to heart, even if she wont admit it. ;)

She and her bro still aint getting along all THAT well mind, and shes still a rough around the edges but were all putting in an effort, and I think shes startin to get it.

Anyway, shes too mad to talk to ya, and hes too embarrassed about draggin ya into this to wanna keep doin it. But I thought itd be real rude to not tell ya why they went quiet, and how all that hullabaloo ended.

…Also, im sure shes just talkin, but she says shes gonna hunt ya down out there. Not sure how shed do THAT, and im not sure if shes for real about wantin ya dead or just has some kind hatecrush on ya now (not sure how that works), and I think shes commin around anyway so I doubt shed really kill ya even if she thinks she means it, but figured id warn ya just in case she figures it out some day.

Oh dang! The Cherub Saga comes to its thrilling conclusion. Or at least it does for now, until I meet my own thrilling conclusion when I wake up with a knife in my back, apparently.

First of all, let this diplomatic powerball of an extended online social incident stand in defiance of everyone who ever told me that I'm "so horrendous at people skills and considering the feelings of others that I want to pin you down and peel you" or "good at giving advice as long as you stay away from anything interpersonal". Second, I'm glad not only to have been vindicated, but also to hear that things are going a bit better on their end. The power of friendship, while powerful, is ultimately contextual, but the power of hatred (and offloading all of your personal frustrations onto someone you've never met) is very potent and the time for using it is always.

Jokes (not jokes) aside, I am glad to hear that things are smoothing out for everyone involved over there. The only thing I can advise on now is not to "force" anything vis a vis getting along with people. Partially because that never works ever, partially because it will double-not work with her in particular, but mostly because there's a common tragic pitfall with situations like these. Someone will be a little rude, or unpleasant, or have a glaring personality flaw. It causes them problems with people in their lives, and so they take steps to improve. And then they become immensely fucking boring and uninteresting.

All I'm saying is that if ever she logs back on and checks out my blog again (probably while throwing knives at a dartboard with a picture of my face on it), all I'm saying is that less brother-murder/sublimation is good, I'm ambivalent towards the me-murder, and

I'm glad to hear the brother is doing fine as well. If he's avoiding contact for my sake, I'd say "don't bother, I can deal", but I appreciate the concern at least. My advice to him is that he should also sparkle on, and he's welcome back anytime.

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #6: a5a2 part 2

this shit is so trippy and weird and honestly scary im actually scared. the context for the first image is that jade is entering a dream bubble for the first time since her dream self is dead. the second image is daves dreamself looking into the void and seeing like the horrorterrors. and then jade sees them too somehow in the dream bubble.... its honestly horrifying and has me quite perturbed.

it seems like she is also perturbed. and PISSED AWF

IM INCLINED TO AGREE WITH HIM. SUDDENLY HE SEEMS SENSIBLE AND NORMAL I WOULD SAY. I WOULD CALL HIM THESE THINGS.

this is so funny i thought this was just a jade karkat and future karkat interaction but then fucking dave just Appears out of nowhere . so cool

LOOK AT MY SON (do not look at his computer. we wont talk about it) HE IS SO REAL

okay so theres been tons happening but im pretty sure i never got an explanation as to why daves bro is just randomly on LOWAS (land of wind and shade) . and why jack knew he was there. like what are these freaks doing on my sons planet. should i keep calling him my son. gay daughter or thot son

hate these guys but love sword fights so net neutral (secretly cool)

DAVE SPRITE!!! weird that he also knew to come to lowas. i feel like i may be missing some critical information

they are so cute

this is how i talk to my friends on the internet. except maybe with meows

oh god i think this is where everything goes to shit . with umbral ultimatum as the soundtrack. really good song! anyway. gonna watch this now

this is so bad oh man oh god

well. at least theres this. L mans

stop talking to gray text stupid dumb. i think the fact that i find this funny proves that my brain needs to be studied

wow check out this awesome panel. vriska IS the fire. the irons.... are john? irons in the fire. its the thing she always says. i uh i think i lost the metaphor

YESSS HE DID IT HE DID THE [redacted]

what a fucking crazy amount of wind my son has just summoned. that is so much wind. its covering the whole planet!!!!

i love how matter of fact he is about it. like oh this giant swirling vortex covering my entire planet? oh i did that? oh thats cool.

i never read into this before but damn its crazy that feferi is dead here cause the last time we saw her she was literally fine. what could have happened..... ( i already know)

OH HELLYES . HELL FUCKING YES I LOVE THIS SONG

me to your fucking house

dawwwwww

no need to serve this hard??? but pop off i guess....

not you too....

er okay tavros just tried to make jade his girl friend without even really knowing her and he was being really annoying and kind of an asshole while doing it and then she let him down nicely but then vriska was like bro that was the worst thing i have ever seen and was very VERY mean to him about it (maybe even more than he deserved) and then admitted to being the reason why jack noir is a super powerful evil creature now AND BONUS SHE GOT A VERSION OF DAVE KILLED >:((((

i dont wanna dwell on that though because one of my favorite parts of the comic is coming up right now :3

fun fact: "heir transparent" "doctor" and "planet healer" are all songs of john egbert :D

ANYWAY ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSSSSSILOVE GAMING !!!! SBURB

8888)

he did it :)

i think this is a good place to end this one . general thoughts right now? huge. pog. things are happening. plans are being formed. i kind of glossed over them but rose and dave are planning to explode the green sun. john just went god tier. and jade is finally in. on the trolls side of things we finally understand why their session went wrong at the last moment, but it seems like even more has gone wrong since weve seen them last? feferi is dead. tavros wants to kill vriska. what could possibly happen next. tune in next time . i dont know when it will be. probably tomorrow. what with all the waiting i'll be doing.

[craniumflight]

i've been looking for fidel x klay posts on twitter and i kind of want to share why i like them too

first of all.. i thought nothing was going to happen between them because I'm used to dynamics like these.

I ALWAYS SHIP DYNAMICS LIKE THESE

They're popular in shonen manga. They're the type that think they're opposite but are actually quite similar at core. Then they get closer and closer because they share many important moments together, they fight with each other, stick by each other side

BUT THEY NEVER TELL EACH OTHER WHAT THEY REALLY FEEL.

Instead everything is hidden under banter, under denial, under conversations with other people, under using each other's tactics to solve problems.

Usually this dynamic would never amount to anything other than becoming the bestest weirdest platonic best friends with a toxic will-they-wont-they dynamic that is never resolved. OR it would go the other way and they'd be the worst enemies and actually kill each other in cold blood.

I've shipped all of that before. i've enjoyed and hyperfixated on all of those before

What surprised me at first was the character of Fidel acknowledging his feelings early on. That was a rare. And for a proud character like him who was initially of the antagonists, him actually acknowledging that he has fallen in love was frkn rare.

What's different about him was that it took him quite a long time of exposure with klay and slow internal change to get to the point where he acknowledged that he liked her and wanted to pursue her romantically.

AND THEN AFTER THAT... he just continued to support her in everything?!?! (tho he denied being public about his feelings or showing and telling it properly to klay)

SO OK... that was fine. it seemed one-sided. at least she trusted him enough to rely on him all the time (even though she kept denying that he cared and worryed for her)

at least they can finally admit that they're friends?!?! i would have been already very happy with that.

and then he confessed HE ACTUALLY CONFESSED. and it was... darcy-like but better

(because unlike darcy, fidel's heroism wasn't a third act. he'd been supporting her and ibarra from the start. you just need to shift perspective and watch closely what he has done and how he has been a silent hero from the start)

and yet he still needed to grow coz ofc he was still a proud pompous egotistical idiot (with a heart of gold). he still needed to improve. it was slow back and forth, regression and progression

until both klay and fidel did the things they promised they would never do just to save each other.

okay fine. i've seen that.

but.

then there was still more

they continued to grow and mature even after that?!?!?!?! and their dynamic shifted to... trusting/confiding with each other despite the longing and impossibility of their situation.

and like i said i've shipped these kind of dynamics before. I even have an OTPs that have more toxic banter than them

anyway what made them truly unique was that they acknowledged they love each other. when klay finally accepted her own feelings for him, she matured too and was able to handle him carefully (tho it took some work).

let me reiterate, they put in the work for each other. and it took so so so long. but what is great was that it was built up from all the moments they spent with each other (in good and bad, in sickness and in health)

for someone like me who is fond of cat/dog dynamics. they're a treat and, as i said, a rarity

they have the sincere honesty and willingness to work communicate with each other properly that is so, so, so hard to find in cat/dog dynamics (and hard to pull off without sounding too therapy-ish)

to me FiLay proved that the kind of dynamic could work and may end up together (press x for doubt)

they're my light at the end of this angst tunnel

(also the writing is just TOP-NOTCHED, man. The characterization of was so consistent. Each character had a major throughline that they always followed and never deviated. i dont even know where to start. this was a miracle really. a masterclass. this is the only show i liked where i haven't nitpicked ANYTHING about the plot other than fidel's badly fitted wardrobe.)

[lemondeluxe]

This is a personal blog where I keep track of my reads (spoilers included).

Don't mind this post, thanks!

Book Review: Zola by D.E. McCluskey

Genre: Splatterpunk/Extreme Horror ⚠️

Rating: 4.5/5

I struggled with how to rate this one, I did not like it exactly(?) and would not read again. It is extreme and gross, heavy on the gross. I don't do well with things like shit which is featured a lot in these kinds of books unfortunately (but I tend to skim read those parts if I can).

Anyway, I kind of went the "go big or go home" route and this was my second book into the splatterpunk genre so I guess I got the 'worst' of the worst lol. I dont regret it, it has prepared me for the rest of my splatterpunk journey for sure!

I had to pause and take breaks reading this book, it was gag inducing, even made me feel physically nauseous sometimes. So in some way I suppose that is good?

Despite the breaks and all, I did manage to finish it in a day. To be fair its not a very long book though so theres that.

I have so many thoughts on Zola, despite it being a hard read and know I wont read again, it is very memorable and I can see why its popular...its just so...shocking, jesus. It definitely does its job lol.

I feel like I cant write super coherent right now (I wish I had the energy) so Im just going to quick ramble:

-I feel for Gordon so much, he is a victim and was just never taught better.

-that dick scene with the dad, jfc

-i now cant eat cheesesteaks without thinking about the book, thanks

-gordon and his moms corpse. yikes.

---

OKAY but I have to admit, the ending destroyed me in a way that I did not think it would, it made the entire book worth it (I guess). Even weeks later after having read that book, every time I think about the ending, I get so depressed. Maybe its because Im a recent first time mom? I think thats why?

Just...

(Im assuming he died)

A now-child Gordon passing over and reaching out with his little arms towards his before-crazy mom sharing a hug and him remembering what she smelled like when things were normal so many years ago. Just a mother and son who only had each other.

Idk it just BROKE ME.

Like, adult gordons soul/conscience going back to when he was a kid and things were normal and happy with his mom. *screams*

He did super disgusting things but he really was a victim his entire life, he truly did not know any better of anything. I guess it hurt my heart because like, he was a kid that deserved so much more and just never progressed. By the time he was an adult he only had the mind of like a two year old, jfc.

Man idk something about that ending just GOT ME. Im mad about it.

Anyway, I wouldnt read the book again because it was a hard read and too extreme for me, but I think those that really like the genre might enjoy it. Writing wasnt too bad, the book can be finished in an evening/day (depending on breaks lol). Its memorable.

side note: I was curious about Cravings from the same author and read what it was about and Im glad I can happily skip that with absolutely no regrets.

[himbopunk]

might just write out a bit of a makeshift timeline for my lof rook, hakim

general cw probably. its dragon age some shit is rough & he was born in tevinter so

born in tevinter, likely not in one of the cities.

was able to stay with his father. both of his parents were slaves but he never knew his mom. not sure Why he was able to stay with his father but i get the sense it was like a bit of a tense and conditional thing. i think his father was a cook primarily and travelled around with the magister who owned him. said magister like. still a slaveowner and sucks and should die obviously but, at least to hakim and his dad, not the worst he couldve been...? hakim has vague memories of his father speaking kindly of them (idk gender) when he was little. hakim as a kid would help his dad with the food and such, but as he got older started sneaking around and getting into trouble (baby hakim maybe saw a bit more of the magisters worse side than his father liked to admit..?)

eventually when hakim was around 12ish the magister decided that he was more trouble than he was worth so he either sold them or like, transferred them to become a galley slave? either sold them to whoever had the boat or its just like another branch of shit they owned. maybe even framed themself as bein kind in putting hakim in the position to learn discipline so their father wont suffer the consequences of their foolishness* (*normal tween nonsense)

should add that hakim is a trans man and doesnt come out/transition til his early-mid 20s so the entire time he was enslaved, he was living it as an elven woman/girl. so i think. he understands it couldve been much worse (and i think it Was bad in certain ways like that at times esp once he was a galley slave but i dont super want to get into it)

galley slave is his life until hes about 19.

i think he mostly like on the same ship or smth for a lot of it. ive not gotten too much into his experience there. i dont think theyd get to be on deck very often so i think his sense of time w the whole thing is kinda messed up.

when he was 19, a raiders ship attacked the ship he worked on for the standard pirate stuff. whoevers ship it was they put an open offer to the slaves on board to 1. kill their masters and 2. join/leave w them if they want (otherwise wait to be found w the others). obvious what option hakim picked

the raiders brought them to llomerryn. did some dock work trying yo get their bearings for a bit. ended up joining the raiders proper after that, on isabelas ship (no reason other than she just happend to be in port at the time and someone vouched for him/she saw something in him)

first new city he went to as a raider was dairsmuid, where he got his first rivaini tattoo

around 23-25 is when he came to terms with being trans and started seeking out transition (23 is when he first comes out i think, wearing more gender affirming stuff, by 24 the crew is all on the same page about it, 25 is when he starts to search out medical/magical options)

At 26ish he realizes he cares more about the adventure than the raiding aspect of the pirate stuff so he separates to do his own thing for a bit, treasure hunting n doing mercenary/adventurer stuff on the mainland. especially because hes kind of past 'being on a ship brings me comfort' but hes not rly alone there & when hes 28ish he rejoins as a lord of fortune probably? the people who brought him in wouldve been the same people like isabela he knew from the raiders though so i think he kinda just sees it as a new form of that at first, closer to what he actually wants to do

(i'm not entirely sure when the lords first form but i think theres some overlap past that point when he actually joins)

i think during the more general merc days is the first job he ever does with varric. he couldve run into him prior bc of him being on isabelas ship but this is their first like interpersonal interaction/first time being hired /by/ varric. this is the job that goes wrong and hakim almost dies when he gets his throat slashed! thats where his neck scar comes from. he didnt have an active ongoing relationship with varric but from that point i think hed do jobs for him from time to time both as an independent mercenary and once he joins the lords.

i think its kinda funny actually cuz in the year or so before veilguard when isabela hands you off to varric, i dont think she realized that theyd worked together before, one of those oh varric knows Everyone moments

Also i gotta figure out a nickname he wouldve had on the ship in the raider days, but isabela wouldve hopped on the rook nickname half as a jab at him for the whole incident (varric says cuz he tends to think in straight lines and isabelas like. HE SURE DOES. PAIN IN MY ARSE)

if i go with the idea that he ran into illario in the past that wouldve happened when he was like 25ish??

[goremet-chef]

maybe ill tell my mom im hungry? im so. my entire LIFE i have always always hated asking for things like so much so that i stopped asking for things on my BIRTHDAY because im like. terrified of being seen as selfish? idk its funny cuz parents will like. god forbid i get a treat when im a kid, then all the grown ups in my life look down and call me spoiled as if they didnt give me the treat, and they still think children arent capable of complex thought so they didnt anticipate that id internalize it for the rest of my life but here we are 😁😁

so i just. god i hate asking for things it makes me feel so shitty but i think shes gonna go somewhere anyways? and EVENTUALLY hes going to run out of things to cook so maybe if i ask she'll bring home some food (vent/rant)

that is one thing that always bothers me tho ive got? idk my mom is. shes my mom i guess, currently she treats me very nicely but when her bf was gone for a few years all that anger was directed at me so yknow. i guess shes over it? or she tries to make up for it, but if im not given an apology, i wont forgive or forget even. it was mutual, lots of arguing on the basis of politics at time, but sometimes it was just fucking nothing, to the point where she'd even admit that i didnt deserve that treatment its just. SIGHHHHH im over it at this point im just trying to get out atp yknow? but like

my sibling asks for LOTS of things. and they get all of them. money for computer parts? sure. money for literally any thing? sure. new game? sure

im not bitter about it, as long as my mom can afford it i dont care. but like....... whenever I ask for things, its usually a no

because of my BPD, i take rejection really hard, its the worst pain in the world so i kinda just stopped asking for anything at all to avoid the feeling. then they always are like "ohh what do you want for yr birthday we cant just get you nothing" but i actually DID ask for something on my birthday. i asked for a copy of pokemon black for the ds. it was the only thing ive directly asked for in years, and i didnt get it which is super embarrassing. like whats the point of bothering me about what i want if you dont listen to me when i do? they always get me what they THINK i want and its this really outdated version of me that doesnt even exist anymore, its makes me dissociate knowing thats what they see me as when im just not that anymore. even when i tell them its null

IDK its jsut a whole thing, idk how to feel about it anymore. its to the point where like. my friends take me out sometimes but i mean. they know im broke, they know i have no job, they know i have no income. but im terrified the entire time that theyre gonna like. ask me to pay or something, and i always do my best to just do nothing when we go out cuz i really like. even when they offer to get me things it makes me feel so fucking shitty man i feel like im just leeching off of them even when they offered. even when they tell me they like getting me things it just. it feels so bad. and GOD its embarrassing, when we're walking around stores and all im doing is just following them around because i have like FIVE DOLLARS in my pocket at most. things like that make me want to never leave my house again, it just sucks.

im jealous of them if im honest, because they have jobs and i dont. but i dont think? i genuinely am unsure id ever be able to get a job. im not well adjusted like them, im constantly dissociating, constantly tired, my sibling yesterday, i made a comment about my mom leaving without telling me at all and he was like "well she said she was leaving on the weekend didnt she?" like yes, she did, but i genuinely have no idea what day it is at any given point. all i know is the number, i dont know the day of the week ever.

like im so. fucked, im fucked! totally, even if i managed to get me shit together, relearn the days of the week, set a good sleep schedule, im fucked anyways because i dont know how to be a person at all. an interview sounds fucking terrifying, ESPECIALLY if i dont know the questions theyre going to ask. i do really REALLY poorly with actual human conversation, like its painful. and pretty much everyone around me thinks im kinda creepy or weird in some way, so theyd DEFINITELY be able to tell. i have no resume, i dont even know what that IS. like im so fucked!! i wasnt able to pass highschool, i cant partake in a conversation if i dont somehow have both sides planned perfectly.

little unsure about my odds, gotta be honest

but at the same time like? i keep hearing people say "if you cant work then get disability insurance" am i disabled? everyone around me tells me im just not trying hard enough. they laugh at me when i say i just cant. even if it covers mental illness, i? i dont know. im constantly in denial of things because my family specifically my mom like. a long time ago she told me i just couldnt be autistic, because im "too smart"

?????? it showed me immediately that she has absolutely no fucking idea what shes talking about ever, i bet she couldnt list more than 2 symptoms of autism like genuinely. im not even smart also????? maybe id be a genius, if i could retain information after 5 minutes 💀💀 its complete bullshit man, im just. im at a loss

and then they have the audacity to mock me for not knowing how to be a person in the world, when THEY shouldve taught me. it was THEIR job to help guide me through it, and they didnt. they laugh and roll their eyes and scoff when i tell them oh i dont know how to use a stove, i dont know what food stamps are i dont know how to dress for a job interview ETC

they expect ill know, that i wouldve jsut picked it up over time but surprise! i didnt. i need instruction i need CLEAR instruction and no one will give it to me. its so frustrating man, they suck ass and they just make me feel WORSE about myself. like good fucking god, give me a break

idk im just. exhausted. im tired of just cramming my problems down because the people around me are incapable of seeing me as anything other than a child, and children dont have problems, right? i have no right to complain if my backs constantly hurting, if im too tired to feed myself properly, if i cant leave my house for 2 seconds without feeling the deepest dread. like be so serious bro

i cant wait to fucking move out, but.. how? my friends said its okay if i cant always make enough money from art to pay rent, but no. i dont believe them at all. theyre just being nice to me and i dont even deserve that, i fucking refuse i cant just. im always dead weight, its so frustrating. it frustrates the people around me, too. i feel like such a fucking burden man, its so tiring. if its not things i just dont know how to do, its fear. oh i cant help clean the garage because its crawling with spiders, i cant take out the trash because the trash bins are crawling with spiders. i cant walk down the stairs because i saw a spider on the ground. they fucking hate me man

i know what they see me as, but i have no idea how to convince them that its not me. they think im rude because i dont know how to properly communicate, i say things and its rude to them and i feel bad because i didnt intend to come off that way. everyone thinks im selfish, they think im overdramatic. exaggerating. if they could live in my head for one day, they wouldnt think that anymore

its so exhausting because you dont even get any sort of sympathy from them! just like. awkward pity, and it makes me wish i was never born. never oh im sorry yr feeling that way, do you wanna talk about it? never

they see me as such an obvious burden but they? i dont know! i genuinely cant understand, they think i just have no complex emotions? they think i cant hear it, cant see it? they think i dont feel like a burden when they tell me i am. its so stupid

i cant stand being around anyone, and it just pushes me FURTHER into dissociation. ive got an interesting thing with that. see, typically when yr dissociate with a dissociative disorder like OSDD or DID, that hazy period in time opens up for another alter to front, you dissociate away and get tucked inside yr head. except i get maladaptive daydreams. so im fully dissociated in another world basically but im still physically present. its like i just always take up space thats never meant for me, in every conceivable way. i hate it.

i know, when i finish typing this, ill feel a lot better. which is just embarrassing, bpd fucking sucks. having no emotional permanence is EMBARRASSING when im over here crying on my knees about my problems and then the second i get it out i feel completely fine. it just makes me invalidate my very real emotions even further and its so.

im just. whatever.

just spit it out and stop looking that way

[saiibeo]

BLOOD & DNA & YAH / @theyvefallen "damn." questions for muses meme status: accepting ! !

BLOOD. -What types of injuries has your muse sustained? What was the worst? 

They've actually sustained plenty depending on their verse, with these questions unless specified I'm gonna assume their main verse. Corrine actually has several scars across their body from combat, but nothing incredibly notable. Those are rather normal for someone who was a hero to have, but the worst injury they've sustained is their missing left arm which was taken by Tomura Shigaraki in their main timeline during one of their first face to face encounters with him. Corrine had made the mistake of moving in too close and didn't realize his hand had grabbed their arm until it was too late. They had to amputate it immediately to stop the spread. It was replaced by a robotic prosthetic. They had already maintained the upkeep themself as a pro-hero, and even now continues to do so. (It's a trust thing. They wont let anyone touch the arm unless they know them well enough.)

DNA. -What was your muses home life like?

cw for abuse.

So this is where it gets a little touchy for them. Corrine doesn't know where their family is in the canon timeline, which I can say with confidence is a relief for them. The only one they have kept tabs on is that version of their dead twin brother Crane who is still actively a hero there(me talking about that can be confusing considering they're not from the canon timeline, but TLDR: present Corrine doesn't want to see their parents again for good reason). They were pushed excessively hard with their twin brother at a pretty young age due to both of the twin's abilities. Crane and Corrine were never able to live as children. They were constantly working and training to be good heroes because that was the legacy of their family. I'd compare it very similarly to the Todoroki family, except both of their parents were of the mindset of creating a perfect legacy. They both became puppets for the Hero Commission, something that consistently effects Corrine and it's why they hate hero society so much and have a hard time trusting heroes in general.

Other than those issues, their home life wasn't quiet nor comforting. Their parents were constantly at each other's throats as it wasn't a marriage of love rather it was a marriage of convenience. The twins were also treated poorly especially if their performance wasn't 'up to par'. They were both physically and verbally abused. The only solace that Corrine had was their brother and their grandmother who actually detested the way the twins were treated and "quirk marriages". The grandmother couldn't do anything to take Corrine and Crane out of the situation, but did her best to give them at least one loving guardian any chance that she had gotten. She sadly passed away around the time that Corrine was 16-17, leaving the last few years of their life in that household to be a living hell with no escape.

A small tidbit for this: this is why Corrine isn't fond of loud noises. They try not to visibly flinch, but if you watch them close enough they do exactly that.

YAH. -Something your muse agrees on 100% of the time.

No matter what they feel about heroes, the civilians come first. They seem like they're uncaring of everyone, but Corrine WILL work with heroes when they're forced to if it involves the safety of civilians. There will always be a part of them that never really stopped being a hero. They feel like no matter what it doesn't matter if there is a risk of them finally getting caught or even if there is a risk of them dying by throwing themself into a dangerous situation, if the safety of a civilian is on the line that always comes first.

Also the fact that not all heroes are corrupt. That one is probably really surprising considering their entire motivation for wanting to expose everything. But even in their villain verse they'll admit sometimes that they don't think All-Might was ever a corrupt hero. They'll admit to a few heroes that they believe truly do want to help people. It's hard to actually get them to say this out loud though.

[lnfours]

yess blurb night so excited! if ur not too busy with other asks is it possible for u to pls make a blurb in which tom holland and the reader are best friends and tom always flirts with her because he’s been in love with her for years but the reader keeps rejecting him (even tho she or they is clearly blushing) because she is scared of love because like insecurity and what if one day he leaves her for someone better or they don’t work out and she loses him as a friend? but tom is patient with her and eventually they end up together?

okay anon. it's FINE. just break my heart :,)

send me tom asks !

things between you and tom have always been... complicated.

it was never easy figuring out what the both of you wanted and when, and the fact that you were too nervous to give you heart to another person always made things difficult. but, that didn't stop tom from trying. he'd always go out of his way to make sure you were special to him, always find a way to make sure just how pretty you really were.

you were the love of his life. and he was yours, but you were just too scared to admit it.

"oh come on, y/n! when are you finally going to admit to him that you love him." your best friend and roommate, maddy, sighed. she meant well, she just wanted what was best for you. she saw the way you lit up when he texted you, the way you blushed whenever he complimented you. she knew everything, and she would die on this hill.

"never," you sighed, "liz said she saw him with brooke stone the other night."

"oh, please. as if brooke has something you don't." maddy rolled her eyes. little did you know she had already confronted tom about it. they hadn't worked out at all, apparently she was doing the same thing with a bunch of other guys behind his back.

it hurt like a bitch, even more knowing that you were too late. someone else had taken their chance. what hurt the worst was that tom hadn't talked to you since brooke waltzed her way into his life and took over.

everything. sucked.

"i don't know, she was all over him."

"and was he all over her?" she asked you and you huffed, pulling the blanket over your head. you had been sulking on the couch watching shitty rom-coms for the past three days, knowing now that the one boy you truly wanted was off the table.

or so you thought, anyway.

"i love that this happened to me right before valentine's day. just my luck, eh?"

maddy looked down at her phone as it buzzed on the counter in the kitchen. she smiled, seeing tom's text to her light up her screen.

tom holland hey, by any chance is y/n home? i was going to ask her to be my valentine and sort of kinda confess my feelings, as vulnerable as that sounds lol

she typed back a response

she's home. just for the love of GOD holland please get y/n to stop watching '13 going on 13' and snotting all over the couch

lol, be there in 15 no promises about the '13 going on 30', though. that's a classic

"i love jennifer garner," you said from the couch, "i want to look like her when i'm older."

maddy let out a laugh, "yesterday it was blake lively, now it's jennifer garner?"

you were silent for a moment, "both. both would be good."

she shook her head and sat down on the couch, lifting your legs up for a place for her to sit.

"can we please watch something other than movies that are going to make you cry?"

"no."

"why? do you wish to be dehydrated?"

"yeah."

she rolled her eyes again, "okay then, don't ask me to pick up pedialite tomorrow."

"i wont."

"alright, sure."

after a while there was a knock on the door. maddy tapped your legs.

"answer the door."

"no," you whined, "this is the best part!"

"y/n, they're literally just sharing razzles as 30 year olds."

"but it's sentimental!" you groaned. she gave you a glare and you groaned as you wrapped yourself in the blanket more, walking towards the front door.

"listen, whatever you're selling i'm not interested in. i'm watching a really great movie and it's at the best part and-"

you cut yourself off as tom stood there smiling with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, "i know, maddy told me to save you from getting swallowed by the couch."

you sniffled, walking out onto the porch and closing the front door behind you, "what are these for?"

"well, they have three meanings," he started, "one for not telling you how i felt sooner, another as an apology and another reason i'll get to in a minute."

"telling me how you felt?" you questioned.

he took a deep breath, "i know how scared you've been about loving someone again, trust me, from experience, i know how scary it is. it swallows you whole and you can't think about anything else. but i just can't stop myself from thinking about you day and night. you're the only thing that's ever on my mind. it's like you're embedded in it and i can't get you out. y/n, i love you. i'm head over heels, if that's what they call it."

you looked at him confused, "but you and brooke...?"

"didn't work out," he sighed, "don't worry about it though, i'm actually kind of glad it didn't."

you smiled softly, "you got me sunflowers."

"your favorite," he smiled, "fresh from the farmers market in town."

"you remembered." you took them gently from his hands.

"'course, couldn't forget it even if i tried."

"and the last meaning for these flowers?" you asked.

"oh, yeah," he cleared his throat, "was wondering, would you be my valentine?"

you smiled, "of course."

he smiled back at you and you pulled him into your body by the strings of his hoodie, "and i love you too, head over heels, as they say."

he smiled, leaning down as his nose bumped yours, "i know."

you smiled, "i like to think i can hold up a front."

"maybe when you're not blushing so hard you look like a tomato."

you smacked his arm playfully, "hush."

"make me."

you rolled your eyes and smiled, leaning in to kiss his lips as he held your waist in his arms. just like you've always been wanting him to do.

"thank fuck! it's about time!" maddy yelled from the doorway. you turned around, smiling as you shot her the middle finger and tom laughed behind you.

"yep, love you too!"