#would appreciate it if people stopped reposting my gifs without credit

[beomcookies]

soobin as your cute co-worker barista

“ coworker!soobin x reader, shy soobin, mutual pinning, both are oblivious, fluff, lower case intended on written parts”

: ̗̀➛ smau + written parts

masterlist

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soobin knew he wasn't the type to make the move, and to be completely honest everyone knew it damn well too. sure, he had your number and what it takes is to just send a text asking to go on a date, if only things were that easy. he knew he's messed up when his crush on you only grew after getting to know you more.

you sat on a near by chair, waiting for soobin while he cleaned up the tables, it was closing time. few weeks has passed since soobin started working at the café, and during those past weeks things has been awkward and so. you and soobin were still distant, though you guys have been walking back to the station together every night after your shift, no words were uttered.

it was like a routine for you both, you would wait to go back together while he would clean up and change back into his casual clothings after the shift.

"wanna stop by the convenience store?" you spoke, not expecting him to agree. it's not that you hated him or thought he hated you. but this would probably be your very first decent conversation that is not about work after the first few interactions you guys had when he first came.

you were surprised when you heard the word "sure" left from his mouth. yes, he wasn't a cold person to disagree but it wasn't so common that he held a conversation with you. his eyes never met yours whenever you guys had a conversation and there wasn't a lot either. but this time, for once, soobin looked up to interlock his eyes with yours and oh you swore you were melting right then and there. you were definitely, helplessly in love.

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soobin didn't know how it started or where it started. it went from him not being able to talk to you, messing up things everytime you're near and heart thumping so loud that he couldn't even focus to now having your own little hangout spot, walking home together every night and laughing about who knows what with you.

he watched as you talked about your day, staring down at your pink tinted lips thinking about what it would feel like to connect them with his own. little did he know you've thought about it too. many times even.

everyone could see how smitten he is by you. maybe it's the way he gently tucks your hair back behind your ear whenever it falls, or maybe it's the way he stares at you interacting with male customers that are a little too friendly while sending small glares in their way, it could also be the way his eyes light up whenever you went near him, giving him a smile and a thumbs up.

"just ask her out man, she likes you for sure" your another co-worker, a close friend of soobin, beomgyu would say whenever he starts ranting about you. "how do you know?" soobin would reply with a shake from his head, questioning the person about how do they know that you liked him back in disbelief, while beomgyu let out a long sigh.

it went the same for you, people telling to just asked him out. but you would always refuse, denying the fact that he likes you back and shutting down every encouragement to confess to him. and the cycle went on with you guys being oblivious about each other's feelings, deep down you both knew that you both were just stupid, stupidly in love. hiding the feelings for each other as if they weren't obvious from the start.

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bonus!+

✎ © all rights reserved to me. please do not copy / repost or translate my work without my permission or full credit. reblogs are appreciated.

[scarletwinterxx]

bigger than the whole sky - haechan imagine

helloooo, i think a few months ago i wrote a haechan dad scenario. but after watching The Lost Boys, it made more emotional🥺 our hyuck would surely be the best dad in the future💛

here's a sequel to that scenario😊

pt. 1 - Lee and Lily

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

There are many things you admire about your husband, from his cheekiness to his voice to his assuring words. But one thing you love the most about him now, something you only found out after your daughter was born, is how great of a father he is.

Haechan is very busy with work but he is a family man above all. You and Nari comes first. Which is why he decided to take the duty of driving and picking Nari up from school.

"You sure you want to do it?" you ask him the first day he did it

"Yea, gives us more daddy-daughter time. Take the morning for yourself" he tells you, kissing you on the forehead

"You know she loves you right? I know you, the wheel are turning in there" you tell him, weaving your fingers around his neck and playing with the ends of his hair

The moment Haechan found out you were pregnant, he vowed to always be there for your child. He always dreamt of being a father, a father who will always be there for their kid. And he has, but there are still times he feels like he missed too much because he's too busy with his career.

"Times flies by so fast, she used to fit right in my arm. Now she's running around, and she talks more than me. Would you believe that"

You chuckle at his words. She does have the talent to talk your ear off, she's now at that age where everything ends with a "why?" question.

"Daddy, why is the sky blue?" "Mommy, why do the fishy float?" "Daddy, why is this sweet and that one yucky?" referring to salt and sugar

Just some of the daily questions of Lee Nari.

But really that girl can ask you why water is wet every breakfast and you still wouldn't have it any other way.

And so the tradition started. Haechan is now on school duty while you stay at home.

"She does this cute thing when I drop her off, she goes bye bye daddy I love you" he tells you one day.

"How many times have you cried in the car after she said that?" you tease him

"Like 2 maybe 3, the first time was the worst. After she said it, she just walked away and left me"

"Stop being dramatic, she was just going to pre-school" you laugh

"The other day she asked me why was the sun chasing us when we were driving to school"

"What did you say?"

"Can't remember, something along the lines of 'the sun likes nice people'. I'm running out of answers" he tells you dramatically, making you chuckle once again.

It's been months since that routine started. the two Lee's enjoying the quick drive from and to school. Haechan would play his favorite songs while Nari sings along, his heart swelling with pride as he listens to his daughters singing.

One particular morning, it unexpectedly got hectic. You left earlier than the two due to do some errand and get a quick checkup. While on their way to school, Haechan got an urgent call from work.

"I just got here at Nari's school, why?" he waited until he was infront of the school and the car on stop before answering the call. He spots the teacher who welcomes the student every morning and fetch them outside, waving over to them and opening the backseat door.

Haechan was still busy on the phone while Nari waits, her teacher ushers her inside as Haechan smiles and wave as his daughter walks away.

Just as he was about to pull up on the driveway to get his stuff ready for work, he received another call this time from you.

"Yes?" he answered

"Did you drive Nari today?"

Confused, he answered your question "Yes, I just dropped her off. Why did something happen at school?". He didn't even wait for your answer, already starting the engine once again to drive back to her school

"Her teacher just called me, she was bawling her eyes out apparently. Had a mini melt down when you didn't say goodbye to her"

Just then Haechan remembered their little tradition. Feeling his blood run cold, he didn't say i love you to Nari and now she's sad.

"Oh my Nari, I'm driving back there"

"No need, I'm like 5 minutes away from the school. I'll handle it. You have a meeting today too" you tell him

"But-" he tries to protest

"It'll be fine, we'll see you later okay"

How can he focus on work when all he can think about is how he made his little girl upset. When you got home from Nari's school, it wasn't a surprise to see your husband sitting on the living room couch. Nothing but silence inside the house.

"Hey, she's fine now" you say, catching his attention

"I really didn't mean to forget, I was on the phone. I waved goodbye to her, I guess it flew my mind" he tells you, you can tell he's just as upset as Nari was.

You shot him a small smile before walking towards him. Immediately he opens his arms, hugging you around the waist while you pat his head lovingly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I forgot her favorite blanket the other day and she said she felt upset with me" you hear him chuckle from below you

"But then she hugged me and said it was okay. Our little girl doesn't have a single bone of hate in her body so don't worry too much okay? You're her favorite person ever" you added

"What if all she'll ever remember is me forgetting to say I love you to her?" he asks, looking up at you.

Sighing, you pull away to sit beside him but Haechan pulls you over to make you sit on his lap. Like he just needed your comfort right now.

"What she'll remember is how good of a father you are, how you practically hung the stars in the sky. You've always been the best dad, don't go doubting it now" you tell him, cradling his face in your hands.

Your words are always enough to wash away any doubt he has. It's a magic you posses. With that, he feels a lot better.

"She'll be home in a few hours, why don't we go and pick her up? Meanwhile, go do some work" you tell him, giving him a quick kiss before standing up.

A few hours later, the two of you drove to pick up Nari. You go to the front office to get her while Haechan waits outside, holding a bouquet of flowers for his little girl.

You and Nari walk outside hand in hand. Haechan thought she was going to be mad at him but the moment Nari sees her dad, she made a dash towards him. Immediately Haechan kneels down to catch her in a tight hug. Picking her up and hugging her close to him.

"Hi baby, dad's so so so sorry about this morning. Sorry I forgot to say I love you" he mumbles, the little Lee just hugs him for a while. You got to where the two were standing, taking the flowers from Haechan so he could carry Nari more comfortably.

Nari pulls back to look at her dad, the two of you waiting for what she has to say

"I got sad because I didn't get to say I love you to dad" she pouts

"You got sad because you didn't say I love you to me?" Haechan asks back, Nari nodding at her father's question

"Oh lovebug, you don't have to be sad about dad. I know you love me very very much" he tells her

"But I always say it to you"

You smile at your husband and your little girl. Loving hearing their argument of who loves more.

"Even when you don't tell daddy, I already know. But okay, I promise to not leave you until you say it to me. How does that sound?"

"Okay, I love you daddy" she says then hugs Haechan again.

"I love you, more than anything in this world, my Nari" he looks over at you, mouthing the same words to you.

You sent him a smile. Guiding the two over to the car,

"Okay now that's done, what do you want for dinner?" you ask the two

"Kimchi fried rice!" you hear the tiny voice say from the backseat.

"You heard the girl" you chuckle

"I'll cook you the best kimchi fried rice, it will be the best ever" Haechan says, starting the car and driving away. The conversation continues, with Nari's endless stories and wonders while the two of you answer.

He looks over at you, taking your hand and giving it a quick kiss. Just then you hear Nari's voice again,

"Mom, is the moon sleeping during the day?"

[scottxlogan]

Reposting artwork/Don't do it!

So I don't like having to be the one to give my talks here, but sometimes I think people tend to forget in this world we live in that when an artist makes fan works in any form whether it be fan art, fanfic, etc. we put it out there in the world to share with other fans who love what we love. We want to share what we created with others because we're proud of the time we put into the project, of the detail and the inspiration we have on something within the project itself so when an artist/writer/etc finally gets to the point where they are ready to share the work they'll post it on their blog, site, etc to share with others because we want you to see it, to notice it and like it, to reblog it to share with your followers and hope that maybe they like it enough to do the same. What we don't want is someone seeing our work and then saving it to repost it on their own page so that they can pass it off as their own project and get all the love that we were looking for sent their direction. Time and time again I've seen less known artists create something wonderful that a bigger blog will snatch up and post and in the repost it gets a lot of love and attention where the artist who created it never gets to see any of that love, nor do they get any of the credit for their work because someone else is taking the credit even if they aren't outright claiming the work as their own by refusing to credit the artist for their efforts. This bothers me when I see it happening. A LOT!

I understand that everyone wants attention and people want their posts to be noticed. I get that and sometimes someone is new to a platform and doesn't understand the proper etiquette for sharing someone else's work. Honest mistakes are made and I can accept that too, but when someone goes out of their way to post someone else's work without giving proper credit (even after the artist and other people have told them who the artist is) that's outright stealing. If you're going to post someone else's artwork at least be kind enough to credit them as the artist or share the link to the original work. We get that you like something and appreciate it, but show that appreciation by letting others know that we designed this piece that they love. It's only fair and something that should go without saying. It's the way to keep fandom alive and keep these wonderful artists designing works and putting out more content to enjoy. When others steal or take away from the artist's efforts there are less things to enjoy and eventually the artist stops posting for others to see.

I've always felt this way on the matter, but recently I had one of my fan arts taken in such a matter. I, always wanting to give someone the benefit of the doubt, reached out to this person who reposted my art, dm'd them in private so not to embarrass them if they didn't understand why reposting without credit wasn't a good thing and said while I would prefer a reblog of my original work that I did, if they chose to keep their repost up all I asked was credit for being the artist. I'd sent them a dm and relayed all these things to them in a polite and what I felt was a generous fashion after my friends had already responded to their post about it being my artwork. A few hours later they ignored my dm and called my friends out saying they were 'liars' and a few other things because the reposter found the art on 'google images' searching a show that the art itself wasn't a part of. I did the same search and found nothing in an effort to give them another benefit of the doubt, yet they ignored that I was the artist on the piece, refused to accept it was someone's fan work and blatantly ignored my attempt to reach out to them. I responded to their repost again trying to be polite and they once again ignored my request to credit me. As I searched through their page I discovered that taking others art and not crediting them is only the beginning as they are also taking fan art and editing it to fit characters they like in photoshop and then passing the art off as their own creations. They seem to be quite content to take other people's work and alter it to appear that they are creating these pieces which they aren't, which is wrong on so many levels.

That being said i don't like to call people out, but the poster garoniousxmen has made no attempts to try to right the situation after well over 24 hours of being told by multiple people the art they posted was mine and based on their stealing other artwork and altering it to fit their fandom needs it appears that they are quite content to keep stealing from other fan artists. I do understand that everyone wants attention and to be noticed, but this is not the way. I went above and beyond to be reasonable with them, but they see no interest in doing what's right so for anyone who is posting fan art especially in the X-Men or comic fandom beware because this poster is notorious for not only reposting fan works but altering them to fit their favorite characters and passing it off as their own, which is a shame.

I realize that this is a long post, but I hope people take the time to consider what situations like this do to fandom and will at least take the time to reblog something from a fan artist or like it without reposting without their permission and if by some chance you still wish to repost, please just credit the person. It's best to ask them if you can, but if you don't ask for permission still give them the proper credit for what they did. The piece this person reposted and pretended wasn't mine is something I worked on for quite a few hours in Illustrator as it was my own drawing/digital art and while I'm glad they appreciated the art, this is not the way to show it. Not by a longshot.

Please be kind and reblog, credit artists because it is something that makes our fandoms even better when we show love the right ways.

[gretagolden]

like friends do | sam kiszka

sam kiszka x fem!reader (or oc if you prefer!)

summary: when on vacation with his best friend, sam faces a dare that brings buried feelings to the surface and forces him to face the feelings he swore he’d always keep a secret. | word count: ~3.8k

warnings: nothing much, a bit of play-wrestling in a paragraph, i suppose my grandmother would barely consider it nsfw if she squinted, nothing really that explicit at all. | please excuse any errors! | as always, reminder that my blog/all of my fics at 18+!

notes: likes, reblogs, replies, interaction in general etc. are always appreciated! i’m finally back to fics, and a dear thank you to all the friends i’ve been using as soundboard all week. it was originally based off of one of those friends to lovers prompt list and then whole thing took a life of it’s own, so credits to whoever reposted that for inspo<3 i do have a mini playlist that i listened to religiously while writing this the past week if anyone wants it as well. anyways, i hope you enjoy! psa: i've wiped my taglist and am restarting it! so if want to join my taglist, just send me a message or an ask and i’ll gladly do so!

part two!

Sam looked at her out of the corner of his eye; book tented over her face, a pair of his old jean shorts unbuttoned and folded at the waist over her swimsuit, her knees bent and her feet flat against the grass of the lawn. 

Underneath the book, her lips contorted into a smirk, humming briefly before she spoke, “If you’re going to stare, Sammy, you might want to learn how to be discreet.” She teased him carefully, pulling the book off her face and turning her head to glance at him, squinting from the sun. 

He rolled his eyes in response, thanking god he was already sunburned to hide any blush that would threaten to creep across his face. “I was not staring.” He said, a tone of defiance and nonchalance in his voice. Of course, that was a lie. He’d most definitely been staring at her, he’d been stealing glances at her for years. He’d tried to stop, kept hoping one day he’d be gone on tour long enough that when he came home he’d be able to be around her without feeling like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. 

It never worked, and vacations like these hardly helped; no one wore anything close to a full outfit at the lakehouse, and so there they were – Sammy and the best friend he was hopelessly in love with, laying in the yard half-naked in swimming suits for what felt like the millionth hour in heaven before he was shipped out onto a tour that would separate them for weeks on end.

She laughed, the kind of laugh he wished he could catch in a jar like it was a lightning bug. She rolled over onto her stomach closer to him and propped herself up on her elbows to look down at him. He’d gone to close his eyes again, but he knew she was looking over him from the way she blocked some of the brightness of the sun and her hair reached down to tickle the side of his cheek. 

Lightly, she reached up to run her fingers over the bridge of his nose and across his face. She let herself admire him: the freckles that were cropping up from the summer sun and his eyelashes, the shape of his upper lip. She supposed she was the one staring now, like a hypocrite, but wasn’t he used to it by now? The way so many people fawned over him day in and day out. Her Sammy, she supposed, belonged to the masses now, but she comforted herself knowing they didn’t get to love him like this – tracing the microscopic details of his face. She gently blew her breath across his sunburn, and when he gently brought his hand up to move her face away, she smiled. 

“Are you flustered?” She asked, moving a stray strand of hair off his face, “Samuel have a little crush?”

“Dear god, no.” He teased back, lying through his teeth, “you’re the worst.”

“I dare you to prove it.” She said before she could take it back, and immediately began to internally chastise herself. Cursing herself for being so brash and bold, so childish. Sam’s eyes flew open, staring at her with a look that was more alarm than confusion. 

“What?” He questioned, staring now unabashedly, taking in every detail of her face that might help him read her expression to figure out what she might mean. 

She looked away from him, pulling out grass from the yard in her fist. “If you don’t like me, kiss me,” she shrugged. She suddenly felt an intense sort of shyness. She turned back to him, sprinkling the grass across his chest, “it’ll be obvious then, and I promise I’ll never tease you about it again. Everyone else in town right now anyways.”

“Just to see what it’s like.” She offered, and then, as if to lighten the mood, “If you’re not too chicken.”

Sam rolled his eyes at her works, repeating her words in a mocking tone — if you’re not too chicken — before launching quickly, sitting up in a swift moment and grabbing her wrists, play-wrestling her down onto her back. She laughed again, loud and uninhibited, as the grass she had left in her grasp fell away and the pair rolled and fought one another. Flailing limbs grasping at each other, hair obstructing any chance at a clear eyesight, Sam’s hands at her torso tickling her sides until she managed to get the upper hand, getting her grip around his hands and fighting her way to get above him. 

His chest rose and fell intensely, heart racing when he realized their position – the girl he was hopeless over straddling above him. She let his hands above his head go slowly but he didn’t move them; he let them stretch out as they laid against the grass, his palms facing up towards the sun. He didn’t move, swallowing harshly and trying to gain his composure before speaking, “you good?”

She nodded stiffly, measuring his face with her gaze, “More than.” She ghosted her thumb over his lips.

All hope was lost when she kissed him, the dare thrown into the lake like fish bait. Even if there hadn't been any feelings before, there certainly would be now. He could taste the watermelon they’d eaten for breakfast in her mouth and her fingers shifted to lightly thread into his hair framing his face like a halo after coming undone from his bun. Was this it? The best moment of his life? He didn’t think anything could ever compare, certainly the taste of watermelon would be ruined forever. He tried to memorize her; the curve of her lip, her breath, and the feel of her skin. His hand slipped up, grazing across her collarbone and running down the side of her torso to her waist and his shorts that she wore, his index finger curling around an empty belt loop of his shorts at her side.

She couldn’t care about the consequences of the moment when all that was running through her head was a chant of his name, careless of the boundary that had been crossed. People didn’t kiss their friends like this. It  was reckless, but she couldn’t keep up a facade of cool anymore –– especially not when his touch felt like fire. Did he kiss other girls like this? She prayed he didn’t, that she was special; if he’d kissed anyone else like he was kissing her, it seemed impossible to her that someone would ever be able to find pleasure in anyone else’s lips ever again. She liked the idea that he was giving her his all, that he was just for her, even if it was just for this one moment.

He gently tugged her closer into him, and she whined quietly in his mouth. Another sound he wished to store in the lightning bug jar, he noted to himself just as the sound of the gravel started to creak in the driveway at the front of the house and she pulled away, much to his utter dismay. He groaned slightly at the loss of the contact. She pulled away with a gasp that Sam had only heard before when she’d break up through the water after jumping off the dock. 

She slid off him to kneel beside him and collect herself, Sam’s hand still lingering on her hip, afraid that the moment would evaporate into another one of his dreams if he lost contact with her. She looked over at him, he had propped himself up on his elbows but hadn’t moved. He reached for her face once more, and she let him pull her in again, chasing after his lips just as much as he did hers before her brain caught up to her body. She shook her head just slightly, realizing how lost up in the moment she was getting, and pulled back.

“Satisfied?” She asked as she stood up before he could reach for her again. It was her desperate attempt to regain her composure before she’d have to face the others inside.

No, he thought, I’ll never be satisfied again. “Yeah,” he said instead, nodding though still stunned.

She nodded curtly without another word, taking a deep breath before disappearing back into the house to greet his brothers. Sammy stared after her in disbelief, and remained frozen in his place.

The rest of the week was agony for Sam as she avoided him, her warm smiles and lingering touches suddenly turned into a cold shoulder towards him. Danny thought he was being ridiculous, Josh teased him for acting so weird, Jake hit him in the side of the head with a frisbee when he caught him staring off into space lost in his thoughts and called him a philosophical narcissistic for believing that whatever he was thinking about was profound enough to get lost in for three days straight. 

She didn’t say a thing, it seemed like she held her breath every time he even got close to her. Found an excuse to scurry away whenever they found themselves alone in the same room. It made him fear the idea that he had hurt her somehow, and the thought was so upsetting it made him ill. But he felt her staring at him, too, any time the others were too distracted to notice if she did. He desperately wanted to look back, but he knew that was precisely how he’d ended up frozen out from her, and by a miracle then, he found the strength not to. He watched her politely disappear into her room each night –– the room that had been his as a kid, until she had mentioned it was her favorite room once and he’d given it to her to stay in whenever she joined them without another word.

Every night, he’d silently watched her; from the kitchen, from the couch, from the dining room table, all different views of the same scene. She’d take her leave first, and when he went to bed himself he’d hear her pacing above him in the attic. He tried to pretend he didn’t hear, didn’t notice her shift as if it wasn’t eating him alive. The last night of the trip, he found himself standing at the bottom of the stairs up to the attic as if climbing them was akin to walking the plank. He forced himself up the first one –– quiet to make sure he didn’t peak the attention from his brothers –– and then the next, and the next. When he reached the top, he stepped around the creaking floorboards across the hallway. He stood outside the room for what felt like forever looking at the cracked door before gaining the courage to knock and wait for her come in! to sound from the other side. 

“Hey.” He greeted carefully, pushing the door open further and leaning against the doorframe. 

“Hi Sammy.” She looked back at him briefly before going back to her tasks of packing.

Sam didn’t do anything for a few moments, just watched her as she went back to her silent routine, not bothering to continue the conversation like she usually did. He cleared his throat to gain his courage before asking, “Are you okay?” 

She looked up at him with an unreadable look, though internally she could feel herself slowly losing her composure. She shrugged, “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” She asked, feigning ignorance before nodding to a folded shirt on her dresser, “can you hand me that?”

He nodded, reaching for it and then handing it to her. She retrieved it without fuss, quick to pull away before he gently caught her wrist. “Darling,” he pleaded knowingly. 

“What?” She asked, feeling her anxiety turn into an irritation she wished would go away. He didn’t deserve it, he wasn’t at fault — it was her, she’d put herself in this situation. It came out shaky and exhausted, she thought it made her sound pathetic.

Sam hated feeling on edge around her. He wanted to be okay with her again; curl up into her warmth without feeling misplaced, crawl under the covers of the bed and just hold her, feel the calm of her heartbeat beneath the quilt. 

He dropped her hand, and took a moment instead to study the room, perhaps as though he was trying to give her a moment to ease herself. To reassure her it wasn’t his attention to upset her, that he’d give her anything she wanted if she just asked. He spotted his old teddy bear from his childhood on the rocking chair in the corner, an old family picture frame on the mantle. “You know this is the room I used to like staying in as a kid.”

“I know.” She admitted, a kind of way to offer him just enough of a confirmation to what he had already concluded on his own –– it was precisely why it had been her favorite. She was letting him in on a secret, they shared knowing smiles. It was her way of reassuring him, too. She had found his old tech decks in the night stand drawer just a few nights before, and had slipped one of them into her own bag as a keepsake.

“You’ve been avoiding me all week.” He didn’t sound accusatory, he was simply making an observation. He bit his bottom lip out of anxiety, trying to quietly find his words. “You can’t — we can’t pretend like nothing happened. That isn’t – that isn’t just something that friends do. Are you honestly going to stand here and tell me you felt nothing?”

His voice was calm, quiet and gentle. He looked into her eyes so intensely she nearly felt as though she could cover herself up somehow, like she was utterly too vulnerable to him now. 

She sat down on the bed, shrugging again. “It doesn’t really matter what I felt when you’re about to get on a tour bus for six months.” She studied him in a search to find any answers tucked away in his eyes, “you said you were satisfied.” 

“You can’t seriously be saying that while you’re packing my band shirt into your duffle, can you?” Sam looked at her with an incredulous and desperate expression. 

She paused and sighed, eyes closed for a brief second. Earnestly, she asked: “What do you want me to say?” 

Sam stood, looking at her in the soft light of the lamps in the room casting shadows against the wood of the walls, a frown etched onto his face. He took a deep breath, hands shoved into his pockets. He wanted her to say that it was worth it. He didn’t want to be the only one going through the emotional turmoil of reeling from that day. His worst fear was that she regretted it. He wanted her to like him, because it was obvious enough that she loved him, but this kind of like was different from that kind of love he’d come to know from her as a friend. How could he ask her to say that, though, when he didn’t even know what to say? He looked at her, and he had always been awful at saying what he felt, but there she was – sitting on his old bed, wearing clothes that used to be his, speaking with lips he now knew what it felt like to kiss. He could never go back, and it scared him beyond reason.

“If I didn’t know you, I’d ask you to come with us.” He told her with a sudden surge of resolve, closing the steps between them so that he was standing at the edge of the bed and looking down at her. “And I’d want you to say yes, obviously, because I’m a fucking idiot.”

Her gaze snapped up within a millisecond, searching his eyes to try to find if this was another irrational dare or not. “What?” 

Sammy sat down across from her, pulling his legs into a criss-crossed fold and gently patting her knee so that she’d do the same — their knees touching as they sat on the bed like they were children. Her eyes never left his, her head spinning, 

“What I want to do is ask you to come with me. Figure it out on the road.” He told her, “a part of wishes I didn’t know better so that I would.”

He knew it was a pipe dream at best. It didn't make any sense, not really, but it’s all his mind had been caught up since she’d kissed him; an image of her in the balcony of a venue watching them play as his girl. It was selfish, and entirely preposterous, but when he laid in bed watching the sunrise outside his window in the morning it’s what he wanted more than anything. But he knew what she would say, who she was. It wasn’t her, she wasn’t a portable commodity he could just tuck away in his tour bunk for comfort. As much as she had always supported them wholeheartedly, she also knew herself, and he knew her. She’d be miserable on tour, it wasn’t a secret. 

“You’re right.” She shook her head with a frown, fidgeting with the folded pair of shorts in her lap. “Trust me, you don’t like me that much.”

Sam laughed at this fondly, as if she was being silly. It made her feel like a young girl again, wanting approval from him –– the satisfaction one got from earning it. His laugh made her feel as if she’d done so. She didn’t hate the feeling. “Trust me, I do,” He promised.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She maneuvered her feet between the bed and underneath his legs to maintain contact. She felt protected around him, and exposed. She could hardly explain how she felt both. “You were always the one who was better with the grand gestures of life.” 

“I’d say kissing me is pretty grand.” He nudged her leg a bit, trying to find some good faith humor between them. He missed teasing her, too. It hadn’t felt grand in the moment, it had felt right, but he supposed that was the tightrope people always balanced on in love. 

“It was a dare.” She whispered, bemused, amused. She placed the shorts in her lap to her side on the bed and took her turn to look at him with an expression that felt almost borderline desperate. Her body moved with her words, her nervous energy buzzing through her shoulders and head, and her hands talking almost as much as her mouth. “I couldn’t of known you kissed like that — I didn’t think you felt that way!”

He thought about his next words carefully before he said them, “I’m glad you did it.” His jaw tightened as he studied his lap, confusion etching his brows at her words, his tongue bit between his teeth. They sat in silence for a moment before he asked: “How could you not? Know, I mean.” 

She shrugged, finally feeling the tenseness in her chest dissipate. “I guess we both thought we were obvious.” She said it to get a laugh out of him, and she did. She admired the small smile on his face for a moment before she answered the question he’d feigned to answer. 

“I like you, Sammy,” she offered, he must know that, “but I have a life here. Those two things can be true at once.” 

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he nodded. He didn’t know why he felt like he was going to cry, he felt ridiculous. He studied the quilt, and admitted, “I’m scared I’ll lose you if you don’t come.” 

She softened, head tilted as she studied him with concern and ponderance, “And with the pressure of it all? Sammy, I’m afraid I’ll lose you if I do.” 

He huffed slightly, as if both bothered and amused him in a twisted way. “Damned if we do, damned if we don’t.”

She took his hand gently, squeezing it. She didn’t think they were damned at all. They’d work it out, eventually, when he came back and there was room to breathe. Rushing it would only rob them of it, this was for the better. “Not necessarily.” 

He distracted himself with her hand, turning it over so that the palm was exposed, and he could trace the lines of it with his thumb. He held her gently, as if she was a rare porcelain he could hardly believe he was holding –– a map to a lost treasure, a key to all the secrets of the universe he’d ever need. Maybe he was being dramatic. He didn’t care. 

“Remember when we were younger and I always made you compare our hands?” He asked out of the silence, and when she nodded, he smiled. “I did it initially because I liked you. I read in one of Ronnie’s magazines that it was a way to flirt. But then I just liked it, the ritual of it. Liked the idea that it connected us — that your hands would become partial mine to somehow, if we did it enough. I don’t know, like the lines on our palms would come to always know each other through all the pencil stains and calluses, or something. That I would be the only one who knows you in that way.”  

It was stupid and insignificant, such a small thing. He clung to the small things anyway, life was nothing if not a collection of small and precious things. She could see the wheels turning in his head, and let them be, knowing him enough to not be bothered by the silence. He’d tell her if he wanted, there was no hiding now. 

There were a million things she wanted to say; Go and be Sammy, and I’ll be here when you come back and nothing will have changed and we’ll figure it out then… Instead she promised: “You always will be.”  

“We’ll be okay?” He asked, looking at her with one eye squinted shut, as if he was suddenly shy and she was the sun that shone too bright to be in the presence of so directly. He didn’t look like a rockstar, he just looked like Sammy. He never let go over her hand. 

She brought his knuckles up to her lip to kiss them, a gentle gesture of fondness. She slipped her own fingers in through his when she pulled back and brought her cheek to instead rest on the back of his hand, “Of course we will.”

They rode in the back seat of Jake’s car together when they left the next morning; she rested her head on Sam’s shoulder when she dozed off into a nap. Jake didn’t say anything when he looked into the rear view only to find his little brother lost in his thoughts again, staring at her with a shy kind of awe that made everything between the two make sense.

part two!

[sunshine-on-my-mind]

Only you

pairing: Ari Levinson x plus size reader

warning: SMUT (18+ hand job, fingering, orgasm, no sexual intercourse) kissing, cuddling, slightly insecure reader, mentions of group sex, exploring each other’s bodies. fluff. nicknames (baby girl, sweetheart, honey)

a/n: i saw a dream, yep, so i saw a dream (no not the smut but almost up to it) and i thought about writing it down. specially because i have never seen a dream about Ari. he is one of the popular characters but he is not in my list of favourites, idk why. so anyway it was kinda weird and surprising to see him. and when i woke up i was smiling and blushing.

comments and reblogs are appreciated!! i would really like some feedback please!!

18+ MINORS DNI

do not copy or repost my work

(not my gif - credit to owner)

“Hey? you still with me?” Ari asks with a charming smile pulling (y/n) out of her thoughts. “yeah sorry” she gives an awkward smile. Ari doesn’t say anything just looks her up and down, something he has been doing since the start of their date, and tries to read her face. He wonders what’s going on in her pretty mind. “alright i’ll be back from the men’s room in a minute, meanwhile you can keep working that pretty brain of yours without my interruption” he winks and leaves the table leaving (y/n) flustered.

well she is definitely thinking something, actually a lot of things, she still isn’t sure how she landed a date with Ari. I mean have you seen the man? why is he interested in her? from the moment they entered the diner, he is getting so many stares from people and so much attention, it feels unbelievable to (y/n) that he asked her out on a date, she honestly thought it was a joke of some kind at first. but now that she is here she should stop thinking and start acting. it’s not that she doesn’t like Ari it’s just she thinks he is too out of her league.

“hey!” well this time it’s not Ari to interrupt her thoughts, it’s a waitress. she turns up her head to look at her. “i am sorry i shouldn’t interfere but um are you on a date with that man?” (y/n) raises her eyebrows at her question. “no no please don’t get me wrong i just. wow he is so handsome so attractive, i really couldn’t control myself, please i just wanted to know if he is single. you see my friends over there?” she points at the direction of two other waitresses who are giggling and probably smitten with Ari. “we were wondering if he would be interested in going back with us, i mean unless you are on a date of course. if not that can you please let him know about our offer?” (y/n) really doesn’t know how to react to that. they basically are hinting about a group sex offer to Ari, but well he isn’t here and the waitress looks pretty good, attractive. she decides it’s better to just nod and give a polite smile.

if she wasn’t feeling insecure by then, she is definitely feeling now. so that is the effect Ari has on people, she isn’t shocked to be honest but to experience it first hand? wow. this man must get so many offers like this. (y/n) isn’t that experienced when it comes to sex, but the explicit thought of Ari with those women is something that’s not escaping her mind anytime soon.

“sweetheart, am i boring or are your thoughts that interesting?” Ari asks as he occupies the seat across her again. “no i wasn’t- well um, you just got an offer.” Ari looks confused, so she explains it. “you see those three waitresses over there? they uh - they basically asked if you would be up for group sex with them.” she says looking down and Ari almost chokes on his drink. “What?” he chuckles in between of coughs. “i am sure that’s like a regular thing for you.” she says while stirring the straw of her milkshake, still avoiding eye contact. “what, having threesomes? well in this case a foursome.” she nods, he laughs “you know sweetheart i am not that popular” at that she catches his eyes “oh i am sure” she says sarcastically.

“well anyway, didn’t you tell her we are on a date?” she stays silent, doesn’t answer his question. he can understand that there is something going on with her “(y/n) we are on date, you’re the only person i am an interested in, only you. look i don’t know if you just said yes to this date to be polite or if you’re actually interested in me but i really want to get to know you. and about their offer, i am not interested, as i said i am only interested in you.” she stares at him, a smile appears on her face before she could control it. “well um are you expecting us to have sex? i mean tonight after this date?” Ari chuckles. “no honey, i don’t expect anything, just wanna have a good time but hey if you suggest that idea i won’t be against it” he winks and she gets shy. “so shall we get out of here now?”

They head out of the diner after paying for their food which Ari insists that he will pay. the waitress was just staring at Ari and looking him up and down, twirling her hair, all while Ari was looking at (y/n). Ari also insists on dropping (y/n) home. “So here we are” he says when the car comes at a stop in front of her house. “Would you like to come in? i mean we couldn’t talk a lot in the diner i feel bad that i - i was kinda preoccupied with some thoughts, so if you can come in, we can get to know each other better?” Ari says yes with a big smile.

They talk and talk, and then talk some more. turns out they really enjoy each other’s company. “hey can i ask what were you thinking while we were at the diner?” he asks, they are sitting on her couch. “well, it’s just i was wondering why you asked me out on a date, i mean you’re clearly out of my league and when the waitress asked about you i couldn’t help but think that she was so attractive, all i could think was that you must get so much attention from extremely beautiful and attractive people and i just couldn’t figure why you are interested in me” she fidgets with the hem of her dress. Ari gently takes her hand in his bigger one. “look i don’t know how you got the idea of me being out of your league, because you’re so nice, very funny and smart, so beautiful and don’t get me started on how attractive i find you.” he rubs her hand with his thumb and she looks at him. “you think i am attractive?” he smiles and says “yes sweetheart, you’re so attractive, you’re beautiful and wow i-i can’t stop thinking about you.” she has a shy smile on her face. “i mean look at you, i have no idea how you can think you’re not attractive” she giggles at that. “i love to see you laugh, i wanna make you laugh”. she now imitates his action and rubs his hand with her thumb.

“you said you can’t stop thinking about me? what exactly do you think about me?” he smirks, “you really wanna know sweetheart? i have to warn you that some of these thoughts maybe somewhat explicit.” she suddenly gets a surge of confidence and her witty side comes out. “oh i wanna know, i wanna know especially if these thoughts are explicit.” he pulls her a little close. “you see sweetheart, this is what i like, your witty side, your funny side, you’re clever remarks, makes you more attractive.” she moves even closer to him. “care to tell me more mister?” they are so close to each other, warm breaths can be felt, (y/n)’s heart is beating so fast, she is nervous but so excited. “why don’t i show you instead hm?” she barely nods when closes the gap between their lips and pulls her into a heated kiss. it’s all tongue and a little teeth, (y/n) allows Ari to dominate which he gladly does. he pulls her into his lap.

when they pull apart, out of breath, Ari’s blue eyes are now dark in colour, he wants to remember this moment, the first time he kissed her, the first time he saw her out of breath, lips swollen, fuck. “Ari? i- i am not very um experienced.” she tries to look down but Ari holds her chin. “look at me baby girl” she squirms in his lap at the nickname. it doesn’t get unnoticed by Ari. “baby girl” he says, voice so low, (y/n) gets goosebumps. “we don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna ok? we can take it slow.” (y/n) bites her lower lip which makes Ari almost growl. “i- you wanna go to the bedroom?” Ari answers her question by picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom, she didn’t think Ari would be able to carry her but before she could protest or say anything she already finds herself on her bed. Ari joins her, pulls her close, holds her neck and kisses her again. they fall on the bed, Ari on top of her, exploring each other’s mouth. she pulls apart, “Ari?” he tries to find any kind of discomfort in her eyes. “yeah babygirl?” she stares into his eyes “is it okay if we don’t have sex tonight? i mean if we just kept kissing and exploring each other, is that okay?” Ari kisses her forehead “of course it is.” she smiles and starts kissing his neck. he smiles too, her kisses are a perfect mixture of cute and erotic and when she reaches that sweet spot on his neck a moan leaves his mouth. (Y/n) has that sound imprinted in her brains now, that beautiful sound. Ari moves his hands up and down her body. she looks back into his eyes as if to give him permission, when he is at the edge of her dress. he draws soft patterns on her thighs and moves up, purposely ignoring the place where she needs his attention the most and moves to her stomach, beneath her dress. her stomach is one of her biggest insecurities. as if Ari could sense that, he presses another kiss on her lips and tells her “your belly is so soft baby girl, i love it, i love all your curves, love your beautiful body.” she smiles, Ari makes her feel so good, good about herself. she loves that Ari is paying attention to her but she also grows impatient.

“Ari” she says, almost moans, in need. “Ari i need you please” he smirks and strokes her inner thighs, teasing her more “Use your words sweetheart” she whines “uh please touch me, touch me there, fuck, touch my pussy.” He captures her lips with his own as he starts exploring her lower lips with his big hand. that man, even his hands are attractive. when he feels her soaking pussy through her cotton panties, she moans in his mouth. “so wet for me baby girl, fuck.” she curses too. “Ari, i wanna touch you too please.” Ari could cum at that, her words, her face, his hands in her most intimate place, all of it is enough to make him cum, he is kinda embarrassed about that, about how turned on he can be even without being touched. he wanted to say she doesn’t have to, when she requests again “Ari please”, he starts removing his belt with his other hand and (y/n) tries to help. When he is finally out of his confinement, (y/n) takes him in her hands, she is shocked by his size. she gasps and Ari smirks, kissing her again, when she starts stroking him he groans in her mouth. they start getting each other off. “Fuck babygirl just like that, so good for me. you like it huh? like having my cock in your hand?” she just nods and starts stroking him faster. By now Ari has moved her panties to a side. He keeps stimulating her clit with his thumb while he inserts a finger in her and fucks her with it. she is clenching his hands, a sign she is close, he is too.

“you’re close hm? come on baby girl cum for me, fuck i am close too, you’re making me feel so good, your soft hands fuck.” and within a few minutes both of them reach their high moaning each other’s names. they pant and try to calm down. Ari takes his hand, the one which explored her beautiful pussy and licks it clean with his tongue. “even your taste is addictive, can’t wait to explore you more, fuck, come here.” he pulls her into a kiss, she can taste herself in his mouth, it’s so erotic, nothing like she has experienced before. when they calm down a bit, (Y/n) gets up from the bed to bring a wet cloth to help Ari clean himself. Ari cleans him up and she joins him back on the bad.

“wow i don’t think i have ever been so satisfied with a hand job before, you’re amazing baby girl” Ari says and she snuggles close to him. “look i don’t have many such encounters usually so i don’t know if this is a weird request but would you mind staying with me tonight?” Ari smiles, she is so so cute. “I would love to stay sweetheart.” he wraps his hand around her. she feels so comfortable with him, so does he. “thanks for tonight Ari, it was amazing” Ari kisses her forehead again and rubs her back. “You’re welcome honey, i can’t wait for our next date, I really like you.” she hides her face in his chest and plants a small kiss there. “i can’t wait either. i really like you too.” she mumbles against his chest. they drift of to sleep snuggled up against each other.

[abimess]

I'd better give it a try

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Summary: There are things in life you're born knowing. Others, you have to experience to know. When your best friend faces one of these situations, you are more than willing to help her out. [2.711 words]

Warnings: smut(+18 only!)

Hi, guys! Hope you’re taking care of yourselves. Just a quick information before we start, this story takes place during Leigh's college years, so before Matt and before the ‘Sorry for your loss’ events. Okay, I guess that's it. Good reading!

You do NOT have permission to repost or translate my work on any platforms (even with credit)

Masterlist | Library Blog

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It's funny how some days happen completely unexpectedly.

Like when you wake up in a bad mood on a rainy day, but in the afternoon it's a beautiful sunny day and you decide to walk in the park and everything is fine. Or like when you face a horrible traffic and decide to take a shortcut, and then you end up finding a remote spot with an amazing view of the city.

Today is exactly one of those days. Today you woke up in a nervous wreck, completely anxious about the exam you'd have in a few hours for one of the hardest courses you're taking this semester. And the last thing you imagined was that the day would end with you naked and sweaty, entwined with your best friend, who was just as naked and sweaty as you.

It's as if the exam in the morning has drained all your energy, so as soon as your last class of the day is over, you go back to your dormitory and throw yourself on the bed, shoving your face in the pillows and letting the comfort of the bed recharge you.

"You look miserable." Leigh's amusement-laden voice sounds not long after you lie down, and you mumble in response, making the woman laugh.

Leigh is a semester ahead of you and when you entered the university, you started sharing a dorm room. It didn't take long for you to realize that the brunette has a strong temper. However, your personalities matching well together took you both by surprise.

You always laughed at Leigh's sarcastic comments, and the few times that she could control herself and stop some sharp remark from escaping her lips, you always went and said exactly what was on her mind. It didn't take long for you to become best friends.

"Did you nail the exam?" She asks, putting some of her things away in her closet. "It's more like it nailed me." You reply without enthusiasm and Leigh giggles.

"I have news." She announces, throwing herself on her bed, and grabs her laptop from the nightstand and opens it in front of her next. "Do you want to hear it?" The brunette asks, crossing her legs and you lift your head off the pillow enough to look at her.

"Of course! Please bring some joy to my day." You ask in a playful plea and Leigh chuckles. "Drew invited me to write the advice columns for the university newspaper."

Drew is the editor-in-chief of the university paper. You don't really know how he and Leigh became friends, since they're in different programs and you don't remember them taking any courses together. But she announces the news proudly, so you smile, contently.

"No way! That's so cool!" You say, adjusting yourself on the bed to lie facing her, and Leigh raises her eyebrows at you. "Why are you surprised? I love to give advice! I'm very good at it." She adds in a pretentious tone, and you laugh.

"First, I'm not surprised. I'm happy for you." You say and the brunette smiles appreciatively. But then you assume a mocking expression. "And second, you like giving advice or telling people what to do?" You sneer, eyebrows raised in challenge, and Leigh rolls her eyes. "Ha-ha, very funny." She says, throwing a pillow at you, and you laugh.

After that, you settle down on the bed again and Leigh starts typing something on her laptop. You watch with an amused smile as the brunette frowns in concentration, but you must have fallen asleep soon after, because the next thing you remember is an impact against your face.

"What the hell, Leigh?" you complain, pulling the pillow away from your face, but you don't sound truly annoyed, so the brunette giggles. "You didn't answer me when I called you."

"Yeah, maybe it was because I was sleeping." You retort in irritation and Leigh chuckles, not caring at all about your grumpiness. "Why did you wake me up anyway?"

When your question goes unanswered, you look at Leigh, and frown as you see her thoughtful expression. Before you can ask, however, she speaks. "How did you know you liked women?"

The question is sincere, casual, but you are taken by surprise just the same, and you blink a few times before answering. "What do you mean?" You ask, sitting up in bed, and Leigh looks at you, still thoughtful. "How did you know you were attracted to women?"

You ponder for a while and Leigh watches you intently, but soon you shrug. "I just gave it a try, I guess." You say simply and the brunette frowns. You are about to ask the reason for the question, but then she speaks again.

"I wanna do that." Leigh states, resolutely, and you slightly widen your eyes. "I wanna give it a try." She confirms and you blink a few times. "Okay... And how do you want to do that?" You ask and the brunette knits her eyebrows together as if it's obvious. "With you, of course! Kiss me."

"Me?!" You ask immediately, your heart starting to beat faster, and Leigh lets out a giggle. "Sure, why not? Is kissing me such a bad idea?" She asks teasingly and you widen your eyes slightly.

"No! That's... That's not what I meant." You reply, hating the way your cheeks start to blush, and Leigh giggles once again. "Good. Kiss me then." She says casually and you mumble an "okay" as you stand up.

You walk over to Leigh's bed and sit down. The brunette crosses her legs, straightening her posture and looking at you with expectant eyes. "Okay, are you ready?" you ask and Leigh grimaces. "Just do it already." She scoffs and you giggle nervously. You prefer not to think about the reason for your nervousness.

When you place a hand on Leigh's neck, her smile slowly fades and you realize that maybe she is anxious too. So you bring your face closer to hers slowly, and the brunette watches you as you do so. When she closes her eyes, you close yours as well.

Your lips meet in a soft, simple kiss. It's no big deal, so you don't understand why your stomach flips nervously. It doesn't take long for you to pull away from Leigh, and when you do, she frowns.

"Is that it?" She asks, sounding disappointed, and it's your turn to frown. "I thought you were better than this." She scoffs, but you notice a hint of truth in her words, and then you make an offended expression. "I am better than this! Excuse me!" You defend yourself, and Leigh laughs.

"What is it then? Are you afraid of me?" The brunette taunts defiantly and you roll your eyes. "Of course not." You reply half defensively. "Then kiss me right, dammit!" she says, giving you a light shove on the shoulder. "Okay I will!"

And this time you move toward her eagerly, your lips capturing hers in a proper kiss. Leigh sighs in surprise, but then she holds your forearms, matching the kiss in the same intensity as you.

You bite the brunette's lower lip, pulling it towards you, and she sighs heavily. You take the opportunity to slide your tongue against hers, and when they meet, Leigh moans softly, and the discomfort that forms at the pit of your belly is impossible to contain.

When air is needed, you pull your face away from hers and try to suppress a proud smile as you see the expression on her face. Speechless. "Better now?" You ask breathlessly, a teasing smile on your lips, and Leigh looks at you, her eyes frequently descending to your mouth.

"I'm not sure yet." She replies half-airily and puts her hands on your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. You sigh in surprise, but don't hesitate to reciprocate.

You move your hands to Leigh's waist and she's quick to get up on the bed and sit on your lap. The brunette moves her hands to the back of your neck, gripping your hair, and you groan. You give her waist a squeeze, pulling her close, and Leigh moans in response, making the discomfort at the pit of your belly increase considerably. But in a millisecond of rationality, you pull your face away from hers.

"Are you sure about this?" You ask breathlessly, and the sight of Leigh on your lap, with dilated pupils and swollen lips, doesn't help you regaining the rhythm of your breathing at all. "I have to give it a try, right?" she replies mischievously, a smirk on her face that matches her tone of voice perfectly, and kisses you again. Your head spins, but you are still uncertain. "Leigh..."

"Shut up." The brunette replies amidst the kissing, and you're on the verge of forgetting why you are wanting to interrupt her in the first place. "But-"

"Fuck me." She asks, almost begging, and her husky, low voice makes your whole body shiver. You pull her into a kiss even more intense than the one before, and Leigh matches it just right.

You bring your hands to the bottom of Leigh's blouse, tugging at the fabric, and the brunette raises her arms to help you remove the item. As soon as you remove her blouse, Leigh kisses you again, and you toss the garment somewhere on the floor.

Leigh sighs heavily as she feels your cold fingertips against her hot skin, tracing up her back to her bra. With one swift movement, you open the clasp of her bra and move your hands to her shoulders to remove the item completely.

You move your hands to her breasts, squeezing them, and when Leigh moans softly against your lips, you smile. You move your kisses down her jaw and neck, biting her pulse point next and the brunette holds your hair tighter in reflex.

Leigh lets go of your hair only to run her hands down your back, pulling your shirt up. Understanding what she wants, you move away from her to remove the garment, and just as the item falls to the floor, the brunette brings her hands to the clasp of your bra, so you remove it as well.

You kiss once more, Leigh with her hands on the side of your face and you with your arms around her, hugging her. You both sigh with your naked torsos pressed together.

Again you move your kisses down the brunette's neck, down her chest, and she lets her hands roam your body. When your lips reach Leigh's breast, you suck on the sensitive skin and she moans, holding your shoulders firmly.

You kiss and suck her breast, squeezing the other with your hand, and Leigh moves her hands down to your breasts, playing with your nipples between her fingers, and your whole body shivers.

Bringing your lips back to hers, you move your hands down to the waistband of Leigh's jeans. As she kisses you intensely, you unbutton her pants and the brunette sighs in response, making you smirk.

Holding her around the waist again, you lay Leigh down on the bed, placing yourself on top of her. You pull your face away from hers, and the brunette looks up at you intently, pupils dilated and gaze expectant. Then you bring your lips to her neck, and make a trail of kisses down to her belly.

Leigh sighs as you reach the waistband of her pants, and lifts her hips as you begin to remove the item. With the jeans now on the floor, you deposit soft kisses and nibbles down the inside of Leigh's thighs, who sighs heavily, holding the sheet tightly.

When you kiss the brunette's intimacy over her panties she whimpers, and the sound makes your head spin. You stand up only to remove her panties, and when the item finds the rest of the garments lying on the floor, you lean down again.

You look up, meeting Leigh's expectant eyes. Exchanging glances of confirmation, you give her center a deep lick and the long, breathless moan that escapes the brunette’s lips mixed with her taste and smell invading your senses makes your own intimacy throb.

As you suck her clit, Leigh’s moans become increasingly louder and more constant. You’re both sure the people in the adjoining rooms can hear them, but neither of you care.

You bring your finger up to her entrance teasingly and you smirk as you hear the brunette holding her breath. As soon as you stick a finger inside her, Leigh moans eagerly, holding your hair firmly, making you groan.

When you notice she got used to it, you insert another finger, intensifying your thrusts, as Leigh whimpers loudly, moving her hips in search for more friction, wanting you to go deeper, what you do with no hesitation.

You feel her walls getting tighter and tighter around your fingers, her body breaking down in spasms ever so often. But you don’t stop. Instead, you shove your fingers further, your mouth devouring her clit. When Leigh comes undone, she screams your name.

You take your fingers off of her, delighting yourself with the long sigh she lets out in response. You kiss your way up to her neck, and don’t notice the smile on Leigh’s lips as you do so.

When you kiss her jaw, Leigh leans in, connecting her mouth to yours, and you smile against her lips as you match the kiss. The kiss is intense yet a little lazy as Leigh tries to pull herself together from her orgasm.

But it becomes even more intense as the minutes goes by, and before you know it, Leigh spins you both on the bed, placing herself on top of you.

The sudden movement gets you by surprise, but before you can say anything about it, the brunette kisses you again, and you get lost in her lips. The kiss is short-lived, however, as she pulls away a moment later and brings her hands to the button of your jeans.

Leigh takes off your pants and underwear all at once, and her hungry eyes scanning you makes your whole body shiver.

The brunette crawls back up to you, kissing you hard next, and when her wet intimacy brushes against yours, you moan. You feel Leigh smirking against your lips and then she repeats the movement, making you moan once more.

"Did you like that?" She asks teasinling, the air of her breathless whisper brushing against your lips. In response, you hold her hips firmly, pulling her towards you and Leigh lets out a whimper of both pleasure and surprise at the sensation.

After kissing you one more time, the brunette gets up, sitting on your lap, and you watch as she rides you, the friction making the both of you moan loudly. Leigh keeps her hands on your waist, her nails digging into your skin as she moves, and you keep yours on her thighs, pulling her down and pressing her even harder against you, and the brunette moans loudly, throwing her head back.

You watch with adoration Leigh riding you, her back arched in pleasure and her breasts bouncing as she moves. It doesn't take long before you reach your limit, and you squeeze Leigh's thighs hard, throwing your head against the pillow as you moan. The brunette comes undone soon after, falling on top of you and sighing against your neck.

"That was... wow." Leigh says breathlessly against your skin and you nod. "It really was." You agree, as dumbfounded as she is, and Leigh giggles as she rises from your chest and connects her lips to yours.

The kiss is sloppy as you both try to recover from your orgasms. But soon it intensifies and you move your hands down Leigh's body all the way to her core, making her sigh heavily.

But then Leigh moves her kisses down your jaw and neck, nibbling your skin and making you gasp at the sensation. The brunette then makes a trail of wet kisses down your body, and you hold your breath every time she gets lower and lower.

As she goes down on you, you hope your friendship doesn't stay the same.

───── ⋅ ✮ ⋅ ─────

And that's it for today! I hope you enjoyed it, thoughts and comments are always welcome ツ

Taglist: @yuhloversxx @madamevirgo @an-evergreen-rose @helloalycia @wandas1mp @cantcontroltheirfear @diaryoflife @ironscarletwidowsoilder @cristin-rjd @ensorcellme @aimezvousbrahms @natasha-danvers @purplemeetsblue @randomshyperson @peggycarter-steverogers @b0mbdotc0m @ethereal-pxradise @stephanieromanoff @tomy5girls @gingerbreadcookieforlife @imapotatao @musicinourlips @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @allfiguredout @olsensnpm @magicallymaximoff @am-just-a-cosmic-joke-to-me @nothing-isimpossible @mionemymind @itsmionet @xastrydx @sxfwap @nicole-rayleigh-hot @wellsayhelloaagin @midnight-lestrange @emptysince18x @1-800-depressedlesbian @theperfectlovestory @b-5by5 @blackwow34 @nervoustrack @somewhatgreatexpectations @yeetus-thyself @chelleztjs18 @franfineashell (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

[dreamlessinparis]

Set My World Ablaze

Summary: Being in love with your best friend is always a struggle, especially when she has no idea. Or so you think.

Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3522

Warning: smut, angst, sexual tension, f/f, language, Wanda Maximoff (she's babe and thus a warning), alcohol, fluff, friends to lovers, 18+, DNI if you're a minor

A/N: This is my submission for @msmarvelwrites 2k writing challenge and the song prompt that I based this on was Dress. I'm obsessed with this song and I knew I wanted to write this story from the very beginning. It just took me a bit longer than I anticipated because I kept fighting with myself over it

if you’re a minor, please DNI!

Please do not repost, publish or translate my work. Reblogs and comments are appreciated! Thank you for reading :)

Wanda’s fingers ran through your hair, as she created an intricate updo on top of your head. Your eyes fluttered shut, savoring the feeling of her nimble fingers in your long tresses.

“You gonna fall asleep on me, lovely?” Her melodic voice questioned, her Sokovian accent sending a thrill up your spine. You couldn’t help it, you were in love with your best friend and she was the only one who didn’t know.

Ever since Wanda had joined the team, you two were inseparable. Initially having bonded over your similar powers, the friendship quickly grew. Now two years later, and that feeling of friendship had bloomed into something more. At least for you. Every day you fell more and more in love with her.

Every time Wanda entered the room, your heart skipped a beat and sometimes you found yourself staring at her until someone nudged you out of your stupors. Luckily you were able to shield her from reading your thoughts or your friendship would long have been ruined. She didn’t feel that way for you and you knew she never would.

“Honey?” she questioned again.

“Mhmm?” you mumbled, drawing a sweet giggle out of her.

“Are you falling asleep, darling?”

“Yess,” You nodded, eyes still shut.

“Well you’re gonna have to wake up because I’m all done.”

“Noooooo,” you groaned, head falling back into her lap. She leaned forward, her beautiful hair creating a cocoon around you two. “You can’t be done, it feels too good!”

Smiling, she kissed your nose and gently moved your head, so she could get up.

“I have magic fingers,” she smirked, wiggling her fingers at you. You chuckled, her playful antics were rarely present these days, the stress of all these missions getting to you all.

“Yes you do, now come back and continue your magic finger treatment,” you pouted.

She shook her hand, “I can’t babe, I promised Vision I would train with him. But I promise tonight we can have a movie night, just the two of us!”

Getting off the ground, you followed her out, walking with her to the training room

“Sounds great, but we can’t tonight. Tony’s throwing that extravagant party, celebrating that one mission we didn’t die on, remember?” The one you still had to find a dress for.

“Oh no, you’re right! I completely forgot about that!” Wanda exclaimed. She suddenly gripped your arm, stopping you. “We should go together! That way neither one of us will be alone!”

Her words hurt your heart because you knew she didn’t mean it as you wanted her to, but nonetheless, you plastered a smile on and agreed quickly, before excusing yourself.

~

Natasha was leaning by your door as you approached and she pushed off the wall, trailing you into the room.

“You know you should just tell her how you feel?” she said, as you plopped down on your couch in a huff.

“Tell who what?” you asked, playing dumb. Nat gave you a ‘seriously’ look and you shook your head “I can’t tell her. She sees me as a friend, that’s all. And I love her too much to lose her.”

“So you choose to be unhappy.”

“You know better than all of us, that us avengers rarely find happiness,” you joked, and she shoved you playfully.

“Oh shut up!” she chuckled. “We should find you an amazing dress for tonight, that’ll help you feel like yourself again.”

You shrugged, sure that she was right but your heart just wasn’t in it. Alas, you let her drag you out to go shopping. Armed with Tony’s credit card, she found a cute boutique that was very misleading because you knew if you looked at any of the tags, you’d had a heart attack.

Watching as she tore through the racks of dresses, you sat on a comfy poof with a champagne flute in hand. She was a menace, throwing dress after dress in a pile you knew she was gonna make you try.

Shaking your head, you stood up and began scanning through the dresses yourself, running your hand over the material. A burgundy dress caught your eye, the satiny material, cut in a deep v, tight but not too tight with a slit up the thigh. It was beautiful.

You snuck into the back without alerting Nat, and into a dressing room. The dress fit perfectly, hugging every curve of your body and for a second you imagined Wanda seeing you in this and falling head over heels in love with you. Oh, a girl could dream, couldn’t she?

“Y/n? Where did you go?” you hear Natasha call out and peeked your head out of the room.

“Back here, Nat. I found a dress,” you hollered back. She let out a frustrated huff, knowing her efforts were wasted on you. You exited the dressing room and her eyes widened as she took in your silhouette.

“Wow! I’m impressed, you did almost as good of a job as I would have,” Nat said, crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame. “Now if you let me do your hair and makeup, I’m sure we can make Wanda not know what hit her.”

You quickly threw a hanger at her, which she dodged effortlessly, laughing as she left you to change.

The shopping trip didn’t last long after that, as you came to the counter to find Nat with her dress and a pair of heels for you. She was lucky you were very dexterous, otherwise, you would fall flat on your face in those shoes and what kind of impression would you make then?

~

“Okay Nat, you’re overdoing it, I can feel it,” you complained, as she ran the brush along your cheekbones in feather light motions. She tsked you, ignoring your billionth complaint of the night. “Natttttt!” “Stop complaining or I will mess up and we’ll have to start all over,” She threatened. A light knock interrupted your rebuttal and you both looked at the door. “There, you’re all done,” she smiled, booping you on the nose with the brush before she took the cloth off, the one she had tied around your neck to avoid messing up your dress with makeup.

“Finally!” you said exasperatedly, heading to the door. You opened it to reveal Wanda in a pretty rose gold dress, the v of the dress was nearly down to her navel, accentuating the slopes of her breasts and tiny waist, the sequins were scattered with a few in flower shapes, all catching the light with each movement. She looked like an absolute goddess with her long hair in loose waves. The smile she gave you lit up her entire face, causing your heart to race.

“Wow, you look beautiful!” She exclaimed pulling the rather speechless you into a tight hug. You hoped she couldn’t feel your raging heartbeat. Natasha laughed under her breath, covering it up as a cough and you quickly flipped her the bird from behind Wanda’s back.

“Thank you, Wanda. So do you,” you managed to get out without stumbling over your words. A quick round of applause, ladies and gentlemen! You pulled away from her and the three of you headed downstairs.

~

Natasha conveniently leaving the two of you to join Steve at the bar. Bruce was in charge of drinks tonight so you knew you’d most likely be hungover in the morning. That man did not know how to portion alcohol appropriately.

Wanda scanned the room, her arm looped through yours, waving to some of your friends. She pulled you alongside her as she came to the group of couches where Bucky, Sam, and Vision sat.

“Doll, that dress is immaculate,” Bucky complimented as you sat down next to him with Wanda beside you. Vision pulled Wanda into a discussion about their workout earlier and you turned your attention to Sam and Bucky.

“Thanks, Buck! Nat and I went shopping this afternoon,” you said, smiling at the super-soldier. You couldn’t deny that he was a god of a man and you probably checked him out almost as much as you did Wanda. Bucky Barnes was a gift to womankind and he knew it.

His eyes looked you over and you leaned forward a bit, placing your purse on the coffee table, causing his eyes to wander to your cleavage.

“Well you two did a great job picking out dresses,” He replied, eyes reluctantly leaving your chest. His eyes glanced over your shoulders and widened briefly, before returning to you nervously. You turned to look over your shoulder, only seeing Wanda talking with Vision and a room full of people mingling. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Bucky still looked a bit spooked when you return to him but as the conversation flows, him and Sam have you laughing uncontrollably. At some point, Wanda brought you a drink, and another and another until your whole body felt so hot and your dress felt like it was smothering you.

You leaned back into her, her sweet scent enveloping you like a warm hug. She giggled at something Bucky said or didn’t say, you weren’t exactly sure at this point, and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, hand resting by your breast.

“And that’s when I had to intervene, you know? Or Steve was going to get his ass handed to him for the last time,” Bucky chuckled recalling a time when Steve got his ass kicked. Steve tossed a pillow at him as the crowd laughed along with Bucky. Those two were probably the only ones not hammered at this point.

“I’m gonna get another drink,” you said, your words only slightly slurred. You could handle your alcohol well, but you were still quite tipsy and as you went to stand up, you wobbled. Wanda’s hand shot out, her powers wrapped around your waist, holding you steady. You gained your footing, nodding thanks to her, and headed carefully to the bar.

“I need another drink please, good sir,” you said, leaning haphazardly against the bar. Bruce’s lip quirked up in a half-smile as he handed you a pink concoction. You took it without question and started sipping, resting against the counter as you looked around the now practically empty room. Only the Avengers and close friends were left; it was always your favorite time of the night when it was just all of you having a good time.

“I think it’s time to head to bed, love,” Wanda’s accented voice whispered in your ear, her warm breath trailing along your skin, raising goosebumps on your flesh.

“Bed?” you asked confused. “You’re going to take me to bed?” the lack of filter elevated by the alcohol in your system.

“If that’s what you want, baby,” she said, “You don’t think I don’t see the way you look at me. The way you watch me, the way you stumble over your words when I’m around.”

You backed away from her, thinking she was mocking you, that she had made it through your mental barriers. “Wanda, don’t,” you whispered, shaking your head. She tilted her head to the side, in that cute way that she does and grabbed your hands.

“I want you, y/n. I’m not messing with you. I want you too.” she reassured you, pulling you closer to her until her arms wrapped around your waist. Her fingers lingered over the bare skin of your back as she drew shapes on your skin, calming you almost instantly.

“Really?” you said, feeling ridiculous at how pathetic you sounded.

She leaned in, placing a sweet kiss on your lips and you whimpered against her lips. The kiss was electrifying, just the feeling of her against you ignited a dormant spark in you. Tugging you closer, she pressed herself against you. She tugged on your bottom lip as she separated from you. “Really, love. I almost took Barnes out earlier for the way he was staring.”

“You’re the one who spooked him?” you questioned. She nodded, with a wicked smile.

“Ever since I saw you in that dress, all I’ve wanted to do is peel it off you and if I wasn’t doing, no one else was going to.”

Lips to her ears, you said “Well good because I only bought this dress so you could take it off.”

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Wanda grabbed your hand, and the two of you made your way to the elevator, giggling the whole way there. Oblivious to anything else. You were sure Natasha was probably smirking knowingly while the rest just stared.

~

The two of you barely made it to the bedroom when you pressed Wanda into a wall, slotting your thigh between hers.

“I don’t want you like a best friend. I haven’t for a long time,” you admitted against her lips before pulling her into a passionate kiss. Wanda’s hands grasped at the ample flesh of your ass, as she ground herself on your thigh.

Your hand cupped her face, holding her close, pausing for a moment to take her in, the moonlight from the window caressing the line of her throat, the swell of her heaving chest, the glimmer of her sequined dress.

Her fingers danced up your torso to the zipper on your side, lowering it with ease, before sliding the straps down your shoulders. You shimmied out of the dress and helped her slip her dress off, leaving you both in nothing but your panties.

Dresses discarded on the floor, you pulled her close, pressing your lips to Wanda’s neck. Her breasts bouncing lightly, her cheeks flushed, sweet nothings whispering from her lips, as she let her head fall back. Your lips sank lower, down to her breast, teasing one pebble-hard nipple, circling it with your tongue.

She pushed you onto the bed and you groaned as her teeth nipped at your neck. She crushed you to her, settling between your legs, skin to skin, every sweet curve at her fingertips. The red hue of her powers danced along your skin, making every part of you tingle. The added sensations made your back arch, your skin gliding along hers. Her fingertips dragged down your ribs, over the swell of your hips, finally brushing along the inside of your thighs.

A thrill sizzled up your spine and her eyes darkened at the sight of you. She was enjoying the way you were coming apart for her, unabashed and wanting.

“Wanda, I -” you panted as you felt Wanda drawing tight, firm circles over your clit with her clever fingers. She kept her pace steady, listening to you moan in time to her fingers.

It was truly like nothing you had ever known, even with previous lovers. The jolting current of her fingers combined with the soft kisses along your collarbones, your neck, your breasts. You mewled as she pulled a nipple into her mouth, lathing it with her tongue. You felt like time stood still, nothing but her teasing tongue and your breathless sighs, a heat building between your legs, setting your whole body aflame.

“Oh Wanda, yes,” you whispered.

“You like that, pretty baby?”

“Don’t stop,’’ you pleaded. She kissed you swallowing your pleas, your moans, all your sweet sounds. Her lips were like honey, warm and soft against yours. Your body writhing beneath her as Wanda’s fingers rolled over your swollen bud.

“I want to taste you,” She breathed, nuzzling into the valley of your breasts. You nodded, rapidly, the feel of her fingers making you yearn for more. You needed her mouth on you soon, before you lost it.

Kissing down your body, slow as melting ice, she ran her tongue along your sweat-beaded skin, her hand still strumming between your thighs. She pressed long, languid kisses on your belly, your hips, tracing around your navel with the tip of her tongue.

Spreading out your thighs with her hands, you laid splayed out on the bed before her. She watched you with a fierce look in her eye and her eyes drifted down to your silken softness, drenched in your slick. She moved slowly, running her tongue through your folds, flickering in and out.

You mewled and sighed, hips grinding, your hands in her hair, pulling her in tighter. Wanda moaned against you, feeling consumed by the taste of you, thirsty, starving for the flood of nectar on her tongue.

With a wave of her hand, she wrapped her powers around your breasts, pinching and rolling at the swollen nipples. The abundance of pleasure was quickly hurdling you towards the edge. You lost yourself as Wanda went to work in earnest, eyes rolling back in your head, fingers gripping the sheets blindly as you urged her on.

Your sounds made Wanda feel all-powerful, her every movement, every flick of her tongue or touch of her lips drawing out a groan, whispered pleas, a tremor running down the length of your body. With every drag of her tongue, your moans grew louder, longer until her tongue flicked over your pulsing bud, causing your body to tense up like a bowstring, spine arching. Your thighs clamped on either side of Wanda’s head, every muscle taut and shaking as your toes curled and you shrieked loudly.

Your whole body fell limp in the breathless aftermath, Wanda lapping up your release, tracing light circles over you, savoring your taste. Grinning mischievously she sank her tongue deeper into your petals, making you groan and reach for her head.

“Enough, gorgeous, enough,” you begged, pulling her back up your body. You enfolded her in your arms, your bodies melding into one as you flipped her over. Her legs wrapped around your waist as she kissed you feverishly, a long hungry kiss. You could taste yourself on her lips and you groaned, sucking on her bottom lip. Wanda smacked your ass, making you gasp and bite her lip, almost drawing blood.

“That was incredible,” she breathed out, licking her lips.

“Beginner’s luck?” you smirked down at her and she snarled in response.

“I didn’t hear any complaints,” she rebutted. “If you’re so cocky about it, love, why don’t you show me how it’s done?”

You kissed down her jawline, and she craned her head back, giving you full access to her neck. Your lips drifted down her throat, teeth grazing over her pulse point. Your fingernails traced lines of lust down her body, to her inner thighs.

“Say please” you taunted, kissing along her heated skin, nibbling marks on her gorgeous peaks. Your tongue flicked over a hardened nipple and Wanda whimpered, arching into you. You continued your descend down, situating yourself in between her thighs.

“W-what?” she panted.

“Say,” you whispered, nipping at the divet of her thigh and her sex. “Please.”

Wanda was hard-headed and stubborn, never one to bow down to anyone, but the way your fingers danced over her, light as a breeze, Wanda felt her belly begin to tighten as your tongue drew a tightening spiral around her clit.

“Say it,” you whispered again, flicking your tongue in a quick motion. The ache between her hips was a sweet agony, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Wanda, baby, say please and...” the light brush of your tongue, made her buck and shiver, “...I’ll give you what you want.”

Wanda lifted her heavy head, looking down the length of her body to you, ready to devour her. Anticipation was making it hard for her to breathe, eyes fluttering closed, she let her head fall back as she gave herself over to you entirely.

“Please.” Wanda panted.

A low, broken moan escaped her lips as you went to work, lips and tongues dancing through her folds. She had no idea where you had learned your skills, and any ex-lovers who may have had this pleasure from you, were now on Wanda’s hit list. She felt herself get wetter, her heat pulsed with every brush of your tongue. The bedsheet twisted in her fist as you slid a finger inside her, curling, coaxing, stroking against the spot that made her see stars.

The rhythm of your tongue matched your touch, and a second finger joined the first. Her back arched, lifting her hips to ground against your face, hands snarled in your hair. Wanda’s hips bucked wildly, and stars bloomed in her vision as your lips wrapped around your clit, sucking hard. The heat inside her burst into ravenous flames and she lost herself, her mouth open in a soundless scream.

Coming down from her blinding high, Wanda felt you beside her, soft lips leaving sweet kisses on her face, and finally her lips. You hooked a leg over hers, and she wrapped an arm around you, tugging you close. Nuzzled into her, you basked in her warm embrace.

“I hope you know I’m not letting you go. You’re mine.” Wanda said softly. You kissed her neck and hummed in approval.

“All yours,” you vowed, slowly beginning to doze off, her hand stroking your hair.

“Maybe next time, we’ll invite Bucky to join,” was the last thing you hear before sleep pulled you under.

Taglist:

@fuckandfluff @caffiend-queen @jobean12-blog

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 12 - The Development, Pt. II

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: TW!!! Mentions of depression/anxiety, lack of appetite and suicide; jealousy (the reader is Angry™️); talks of (unwanted) pregnancy and miscarriage (cult activities).

Summary: Who would've thought a dinner and a bouquet of flowers would ever bare bad omens?

Word Count: 5.588

Author's Note: I apologise for the repost! I forgot to do my taglist + the tags didn't work for me so let me try this again. This is a whole chunk of angst and nothing more. I'm sorry about this but it is going to get darker :')

Enjoy!

gif credit: winterswake

"Oof, this wasn't your greatest idea, you know that right?" You sighed anxiously, hands on your hips.

"I've done many things that weren't so great, sweetpea," Joel wiped his wet hands on the cute little apron around his waist after he put the vegetables he had cut into the bowl which was on the counter next to the cutting board: "We both know it, but this totally ain't one of 'em."

He carried another bowl to the dining room where you stood, gave your exposed neck a brief kiss as he passed by. Kiki and Ward were going to arrive anytime now for Joel's infamous dinner plan. When he put the bowl down, he scanned the table with a puzzled expression: "Why are there two more plates?"

You leaned your weight on one leg as you grabbed the edges of the chair, which stood at the head of the table: "I... invited Tommy and Maria over, too–"

Joel's expression made you feel guilty: "(Y/N)."

"What?" You spoke defensively, a nervous expression on your face and tone to your voice. "It was going to be awkward as shit otherwise."

"You don't know that," He growled. "Not when you pull stunts like this."

"I don't care," You emphasised each word, exhaustion present in your stance. "Better safe than sorry, Joel."

He nodded disapprovingly and walked back to the kitchen as you stood there, your head hanging with a sigh. You slowly raised it up, hands on your hips again, then turned your head to the side just enough for him to hear you over the sound of the steamer: "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not," He said when he walked past you, carrying the last piece of dish to the table. His anger wasn't for nothing, you accepted what you did was an ass move.

"You're right." You huffed, which made him look at you. "I'm not sorry for inviting Tommy and Maria over, but I am sorry for upsetting you."

His tense stance eased slowly at your words, then he proceeded to mirror your chair holding pose, huffing quietly: "Well, one of us is gon' have to eat less, I'm more worried about that."

"I'll gladly volunteer, I lost my appetite." You rubbed your eyes, which sported dark circles underneath them– which worried Joel.

He stepped closer to you, reaching for your hip with his dominant hand and began rubbing soothing circles there: "No. You eat. Don't think for a second I didn't notice how you started eatin' less." This whole ordeal was getting to you more than you cared to admit. It had been eight days since your decision to arrange dinner with them, but it clearly didn't escape Joel's notice. You looked down, ashamed, running a hand through your hair nervously: "Hey, look at me," Joel gently took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head up, his nose inches away from yours. The three knocks on your door didn't stop him from saying: "You're worryin' over nothin', sweetheart. It's gonna be alright."

"We'll see," You looked into his eyes with a blank stare, gulping, giving his hand a light squeeze before walking to the door, collecting yourself in the meantime. From the small windows on the door, it wasn't hard to tell the brunette couple had arrived. You took a deep breath as you opened the door with a sincere smile: "Hello there– Come in, welcome."

"Hi!" Kiki grinned and Ward just offered an awkward resemblance of a smile.

After escorting them to the living room, you spoke: "Joel's getting finished in the kitchen, then we can have dinner."

"Joel's cooking?" Kiki gave you an alien look. It wasn't a my goodness what a man I bet he cooks real fine tone, but more a genuinely confused one.

"Uhm, yes?" You lightly flinched but smiled still, equally confused at her question. Giving a brief look at Ward, you noticed how he was staring hard at her and she was pointedly ignoring him. "Don't worry, he actually cooks better than me... haha."

You stared into each other's eyes for five seconds, both of your irises reflecting a pair of question marks at each other, then she let out an odd laugh: "Oh! If you say so... What a beautiful garden you got– Lots of flowers."

"Why, thank you," You smiled a little nervously. "I like taking care of flowers and plants..."

"Oh really? I do– did too, once upon a time..." Kiki did an exaggerated smiley face. "I should bring you some, then!"

"That's very kind of you," You felt yourself soften a little at her words. "Well, how have you both been? Feeling like you two are fitting in? I hope people aren't giving you trouble."

"Oh," Kiki looked at Ward for the first time, who's gaze was focused on you now. "No, I think we started to fit in better–" Ward nodded in agreement, his head turning in her direction: "Gets better every day."

"That's good news," You quietly huffed out a breath of relief, nodding at her words, which was when Joel walked in to greet them, and also when there was another pair of knocks on the door. This time, thank God, it was Tommy and Maria.

The dinner went without a hitch, to say the least. Although it had it's awkward moments, Tommy and Maria always picked it up one way or another. Delicious meals were eaten and wines from your collection with Joel were opened– it was pleasant to a certain degree. You and Joel sat across each other on the other ends of the table, Maria and Tommy sat to your left while Kiki and Ward sat to your right. Kiki was seated by your side, but she mostly had her attention on your husband. She didn't drink, but Ward did, and after his second glass, he seemed to relax more.

When it was time to carry all the plates back to where they came from, Joel and you carried the first party. When you placed them in the sink, and he on the counter, he softly grabbed your hand: "See? Wasn't that bad, was it?"

It sort of was, for you anyway, as much as you tried to calm your nerves with the wine: "Thanks to Tommy and Maria, yeah." Joel sighed through his nose and looked away for a moment: "What?"

"We'll talk about it in the morning." Joel let your hand go, but didn't move away.

"What is there to talk about?" You spoke, frustrated, your arms opening slightly in a gesture. Right then, your eyes moved over his shoulder to the doorway. He turned around to see it was Maria with two of the rect platters in her hands.

"Joel, why don't you go back? (Y/N) and I'll handle it from here." She spoke as she walked over to where you two were, then placed the platters on the counter. He gave you one last look before nodding and walking back inside. As soon as he left, Maria stood very close to you and turned on the water: "You wanna tell me what's going on with you?"

"Not really," You quickly started to wash the plates and she helped with the leftovers.

"(Y/N)," Maria spoke more seriously. "There's obviously something wrong–"

"I didn't say there wasn't, I just don't wanna talk about it right now." You said, turning your head to her a little but not looking her in the eyes. "Please, Maria, I appreciate you and your concern, but–"

"Mind if I help?" Kiki suddenly appeared with more service in her hands, startling you both.

"Not at all," Maria replied in your stead. "I'll leave you two to it, I need to use the bathroom."

You closed your eyes, exhausted, then begged for patience as Kiki replaced Maria's place next to you. She kept a distance, which you also appreciated. After a brief moment of silence, she spoke: "The food was delicious, I'm surprised Joel helped you prepare all of this."

You tried– God knows your tried not to look for a double meaning behind her words, but you failed: "Well, as I said, he cooks better than me."

"No, I mean, he just really helps you around, y'know? Serving, preparing, cleaning..."

You turned to face her, closing the sink, and took a proper look at her: "What's so weird about it? We're partners– Married– There's no helping out, we do it together, as it should be."

"Oh, don't get me wrong," She said after a while, her smile unsettling. "It's just that, I always do the cooking, and preparing, and cleaning. That's what I was taught, while Ward..."

You bit down on your tongue hard as you finally understood what she was getting at, the realisation making you blink once and long, then look away. A silent oh left your lips while you thought about how to respond, forcing a small smile to your lips: "Well... Uh– Why don't you go back, I'll take it from here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I got this, you're our guest, after all."

She smiled and nodded, heading back. As soon as she turned around you let out a silent, heavy breath, looking a little bewildered and disturbed at the things she had said. You stood still for a few moments, then ultimately decided to wash your face, so you took it up to the bathroom.

When you woke up the next morning, you had a mild headache from the wine, no doubt. Joel was nowhere to be found, which had you worried for a second, then you realised it was near noon. After washing your face, you dragged yourself downstairs and once you made it to the kitchen, you found Tommy, Eugene and Joel sitting quietly at the table.

"Mornin' princess," Eugene grinned at you, a cup in his hand. Joel and Tommy had more serious, even a little worried looks on their faces.

"Hey," You waved at them and dragged your feet to the cupboard where you kept your coffee, only to find you had ran out of the beans.

"How're you feelin'?"

"I'm fine... What kinda question is that?" You chuckled.

The brothers shared a brief look before Tommy slowly got up, walked towards the island counter and leaned against it with his elbows: "Listen, (Y/N), we're all a bit worried about you."

"I'm not!" Eugene said clearly. "I mean, I am, but not in the way they are– What's going on with you and the newcomers?"

You stared at the brothers, hard, then turned to Joel: "Is this the new town gossip, then?"

He huffed, crossed his arms across his chest and leaned back in his seat: "It ain't nothin'. We were talking about last night," He gestured between himself and Tommy. "Eugene overheard, expressed his own worries 'bout them and wanted to talk to you."

You felt so exposed –out in the open– with the spotlight moving onto you once more. Your eyebrows furrowed as Joel held your gaze for a while, the other men too scared to interfere; until Eugene spoke: "Look, (Y/N), I get what worries you, even if these two bimbos will say there's nothing wrong. I'm here to vouch for ya."

"Thanks," You shrugged and nodded. You felt embarrassed at the three pairs of eyes waiting for a response from you– speaking to Eugene alone about what actually worried you would've made you feel much better, but you just told them about the interactions between you and Kiki. The more you spoke, the more frustrated you got, which ironically made you close up more.

"Which reminds me," He said some time after you mentioned her offer to bring you a flower. "Do you have, uh, mugwort in your garden?"

The abrupt change of topic caught you off guard, but you still said yes, I think so and walked out from the back door, the old man tailing you. The sun immediately burned down on your skin, but a gentle breeze lightened the load on your shoulders as it accompanied you to the edge of the garden.

"Look, I don't actually need mugwort," He said when you sat down on your knees. "If you wanna say something to me that you think they won't understand, now's your chance."

You moved on with your digging quietly while he waited, then finally, without looking at him and venom dripping from every word you spoke, you sighed: "Kiki has eyes for Joel."

Eugene coughed loudly at your cold words, a hand on his chest: "Shit, (Y/N)..."

"Everyone, including Joel, seems oblivious to this– I'll probably get accused of petty jealousy if I tell them, but since you've had your fair share of weird run-ins with her, I think you should know."

He remained quiet for awhile as you worked with the plant, then finally huffed: "That's not a jealous face from what I can see, it's the face of a woman who's sensing something's gonna go wrong."

You finally looked up at him, your cold expression turned soft because of his sympathy, then looked back down: "I'm losing sleep over some stupid– bitch– God, I was... I've been trying to convince myself that it's nothing, but–"

"It's not nothing, (Y/N)." Eugene spoke firmly, grabbing your shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Something's clearly not right with those two, and you've a right to get worried, 'cause I'm guessing it's not just Joel you're worried about."

You gulped, wiped some sweat off the corner of your brow with your wrist, then nodded.

"Well," He took the plants from your hands. "Thanks for this, and, just know that you're not alone. If you ever wanna talk more about this, you know where to find me. Don't be a stranger."

You did pay Eugene a visit a few days later to talk more about them. You felt more comfortable talking to him alone, and you were talking to him because you didn't want to add more to Joel's tension and strain your relationship again. It also felt good to just talk about the whole thing and have someone who understood you.

You had told him that you had no doubts about Joel's intentions, but about Kiki's and hers alone. He had told you he understood and told you that his door was always open if you needed to talk again, so you went to him a second time in a cool afternoon after Kiki had appeared out of nowhere.

"Flowers! As promised!" She smiled brightly, giving you a tiny bouquet of mixed, yellow flowers.

"Oh, wow," You carefully took the bouquet from her, smiling at the sight and feeling genuinely happy for a moment that she actually did something like this. "Thank you, Kiki."

"Don't mention it," She smiled sincerely and initiated smalltalk, then went about her business. After you closed the door, however, reality came crashing down.

You went to see Eugene then: He had just returned from patrol, so the moment you saw him, you grabbed him and went back to your house. A very old book you owned, The Meanings of Flowers, laid on the dinner table while you sat at the head of the table again, the older man to your right. Beautiful flowers rested above the book, a pair of each: Carnation, hyacinth, marigold, rose and tansy. You already knew the names of the most thanks to your free time activities, so finding them in the book wasn't particularly hard.

"Damn, (Y/N), you're really gettin' into this, aren't you?" Eugene said when you first explained and laid the flowers in front of him as he sat down.

You read through the pages and sat across him. "I think... I have, uh– What if she's asking for help?"

"How do you mean?" He gave you a look, and when you stared at him a while, he slowly got what you were saying. "You... think that too?"

"It's so obvious," You sighed, a sad expression on your face. "It's the only logical explanation for the way she responds to physical touch. There's more to it than what Ward told me about their past."

"You're right," He huffed, troubled. "Alright, let's see what carnation means."

"Each colour represents something different, but yellow..." What you read made you tense up.

"What?"

"Disdain."

You gave each other a look, then you continued to other flowers: "Hyacinth– Yellow hyacinth is... jealousy."

"Do these even grow in Wyoming?" Eugene was as disturbed as you were. You just shrugged, but you were thinking more about how she came to find these in the first place.

"Marigold– Jealousy, despair... Rose, yellow– Jealousy and..." You gasped shortly, eyes widening at the word.

"What, what is it?" Eugene turned the book to himself a little and his eyes widened slightly as well.

Infidelity.

"Maybe... Maybe tansy means something else?" Eugene flipped the pages as you burned a hole through the table, stunned where you sat. "Hostile thoughts, declaring war... Shit."

He stared at you as you slowly raised your head up and gave him a nasty look, whispering angrily: "Who... Who does she think she is?"

"(Y/N), I– I don't," Eugene knew, like yourself, that this could've been just pure coincidence, but all of the flowers representing almost exactly the same things inevitably had him worried and at a loss for words.

"That little bitch–" Your fists flexed into a fist, your brows drawing together, creating deep lines on your forehead.

"Don't freak out," Eugene grabbed your elbow in a calming gesture.

"She wants him–? She wants a war? I'll give her something worse, she'll regret ever setting foot in–"

"What's going on?" In between your heartbeat ringing in your ear and loud, angry words, you didn't hear Joel come in. Your head snapped towards him, eyes wide open and angry, then turned your head away towards Eugene.

"I think it's best if you sit down." The older man said uncomfortably.

He obliged, never looking away from you as he did. He was clearly worried, careful, but also cross; it wasn't hard to tell, and you had hoped he wouldn't see what you were up to, but alas...

"You know who brought me these?" You asked, focused at something outside the window.

"I have an idea." His eyes were burning through the side of your face, the tension crushing everyone in the room.

You chuckled bitterly. "You must think I'm crazy."

"I think no such thing," He growled, offended by your accusation. "You don't sleep well, you don't eat– Your worryin's making me worry!"

"The thing is, Joel," Eugene intervened. "She has a right to worry."

He finally looked at him with an exhausted expression: "What?"

"Each of these flowers have meanings in this book right here," He tapped the book. "And they're not good meanings at all."

"See? This is what worries me," He leaned back, crossing his arms. "You're gonna check everything she does or gives?"

"So you want me to stay oblivious to– to things, while Ward is probably physically absuing his wife?" You snapped, your head turning in Joel's direction to meet his quizzical expression. You got up from your chair, leaning in with your hands on the table: "If she was meaning to send a message to us with these flowers, asking for help, and we ignored it? That'd be on me."

"How could it possibly be on you?" He replied angrily. "How would she know that you'd– decipher this message?"

"I told you that I told her about–"

"Enough!" Eugene growled. "She sent her a message, despite what could be happening in their household." You sighed heavily and turned your head to the side, Joel glancing at Eugene as he continued: "All these flowers have one thing in common, Joel, and it's that they've bad meanings. This one?" He held up the marigold: "Jealousy. This one?" The hyacinth: "Also jealousy. And this?" The rose: "Jealousy... as well as infidelity."

Joel leaned back, an irked look on his face: "Wh– What?"

"Tansy– Hostile thoughts." He coughed into his fist as he put the flower down.

"So don't sit there–" You looked at him again, leaning in with your head: "And tell me that I'm worrying over nothing. Just because you have no clue about what's going on around you, doesn't mean it's not happening." You gulped, the barbed wire around your throat present once more, then picked up the book and closed it: "Thanks, Eugene."

He just nodded with a concerned look on his face and watched you walk upstairs. Joel, stunned in place, didn't say a word as the older man got up, tipped his head at him and left. He sat there for some time, by himself and stared at the beautiful flowers. He hadn't seen you like this since the Axel case– sure, you both had ups and downs but it had never gotten this bad since then. To prevent another fall out, he knew this time he had to be a little more alert for both of your sakes, if your accusations were indeed true.

But you both needed to co-operate if something was going to be done about this.

It was close to a week later when Ward opened up again.

Joel and you were a bit tense, even after when he suggested the next day after the flower incident that you both went to Maria to change your patrol schedules. She had said Joel only had one more patrol left with Kiki, while you still had three to go with Ward, which was okay for you especially after you found out that Joel's last patrol with Kiki was a group sweep which involved you too.

Joel was more than relieved too, thinking maybe change of patrol partners will finally ease the tension between you and him, but it seemed you'd remain upset until that last patrol was over with, which was the day after your current patrol with Ward.

You were taking a different route this time, on horseback and it was in the afternoon, a chill breeze was present which took the burning feel of the slowly setting sun off your shoulders. The trees were offering shield from the sun with their shadows, too.

"I overheard people talking about you and Joel."

"Really?" You rolled your eyes. "What were they saying?"

"Something about... having a child."

You turned your head and gave him a stern look, but it wasn't directed at him, then you sighed, the grip you had on your reigns tightening: "It's none of their business."

"Exactly what I told them."

"What?" You turned to face him again, the whip of your head smoother than before, and your voice was softer– surprised.

"I told them to stop talking about something which wasn't their business," Ward casually explained. "They then told me that I had no business listening to them, so I threatened to break their jaw if they didn't shut up."

"Ward..." You gave him a look of disapproval.

"Kidding," He offered a small smile. "Leave out the threatening bit, but it did cause a little argument. Maria was there though... organising this event that's coming up. She defended you, too."

You hadn't taken him to be the type to stand up for people he didn't exactly know: "Ward I–"

"Sorry though, don't know who they were–"

"Thank you."

He blinked, equally surprised at the smallest smile on your lips: "Oh, well..."

"Not many people would do that, I appreciate it," Your grip loosened and you allowed yourself to relax a little. "People tend to get ahead of themselves sometimes."

"Inconsiderate, that's what they are." He growled, but his face was thoughtful and troubled exactly like when he told you of his background. "It just– Gets on my nerves. This whole... baby talk."

"You and mine both," You huffed. "It's just funny how people who have almost no connections to me and Joel talk about it, when him and I haven't even put it out on the table yet." It was true. Neither of you had even said the word out of its nickname context.

"I just hope they won't force you to have one."

You turned your head to him with slightly wide eyes: "How do you mean?"

He remained quiet for a while, probably debating on whether he should share what he meant or not – if he should listen to his needs and get it off his chest, or add more to the bottle when there was no space left in it. He finally spoke: "Kiki had to lie, so that they wouldn't separate or punish us. I was too... paralysed to speak when she said We want to have children out of nowhere. Said that it was the only reason why we decided to date and get married. We had been together for just five months."

A sick lie to get out of an equally sick situation, which normally would've made you feel sick, but in this fucked up world and having done the equally fucked up shit you did, you couldn't bring yourself to feel nauseous; however, it did make a shiver run down your spine, the situation reminding you of the Seraphites in Seattle when an escapee had arrived in Boston, months after the fall of that QZ. She had told horrifying stories about how her and five other people had barely made it past them: They had witnessed 'religious sacrifice's, and the manslaughter from The WLF hadn't helped their case either... She had committed suicide a month after her arrival in Boston.

"By then we started to regret our decision more, because they were forcing us to– To have a child–"

"Hey, look, you don't have to tell me–"

"We lied–" He continued, feeling though as if he wasn't going to get another chance to open up again. "For a long time, it was maybe we're not lucky enough, or God's not willing. They... They went as far as to consider fucking exorcism, and it was all on Kiki, and her alone."

You thought for a moment he was going to cry, with the way his face scrunched up, but he kept going angrily: "I told them it could be biological, they told me she was cursed... I told them, maybe the problem was me, they insisted it was her... Until they finally needed proof that we were actually– You know–"

"God," You quietly gasped.

"I don't– We tried to break up, to end the madness, but they wouldn't listen. I had never touched Kiki other than kisses and hugs, while we were lying to them about– She was a virgin and so was I–"

He stopped for a brief moment when his horse whinnied, you were getting closer to the tall walls surrounding Jackson, then continued hesitantly: "She– finally got pregnant, after a whole year of deceiving them, but the stress of it got to her, I think. She... she miscarried." He gulped, closing his eyes tightly, an unpleasant look on his face. "You can imagine how it was received around the community– We had to run, you see, so we did."

You had reached the gates by then, it was Joel who was at the watchtower and waved at you as you waited for the doors to open. You waved back with a worried look on your face, which he must've spied through his binoculars. After bringing the horse into the stables and handing back your rifles, you stopped him. It was unusually quiet and empty around the southern gate, which was normally empty anyway: "Listen, I just wanna say–"

Before you knew it, a stuck gasp left him. His back was to you, so at first you thought he saw something, but as soon as you stepped to his side: "Ward," He was crying. "Oh– Hey, it's okay..."

He whimpered until he ran out of breath, covering his face with his hands. You didn't know how to react, internally panicking and carefully studying his body language, while feeling like a dick about it. You slowly and carefully put a hand on his back, and at the touch, he immediately collapsed by your feet. He was weeping now, and too close for comfort. You quickly looked around to see if anyone was there, only to find out not a single soul was in your line of sight, except for the slowly and suddenly approaching figure of your husband.

"Ward, get up," You lightly shook him by the shoulder to get his attention, but this only resulted in him leaning closer to your legs. You raised your head to see Joel had come to a stop a couple of feet away from where you stood: "Get. Up."

"You said– You said–" He struggled with trying not to cry and breathing at the same time.

"I said there is a group session if you needed to talk," You spoke, defeated, feeling Joel's burning gaze on your eyelids. "I'm sorry for what happened. I really am, but you need to get up."

He looked up at you to meet your stern, pitying gaze, then wiped at his tears. He nodded a couple of times and slowly got up, sniffling quietly. Without saying another word –even though he looked like he wanted to– and sparing you another look, he readjusted his backpack and walked away as if nothing happened. You stood there and watched him leave with your hands on your hips, then let out an exhausted sigh. You were just thankful that you weren't murdered for the most part, irked because of his sudden breakdown, but you also felt like shit scolding him as you did.

"You wanna tell me what the hell was that all about?" Joel. And he neither sounded pleased nor amused.

"You think I have an idea?" You gave him a hopeless look. "Man just– Suddenly told me the rest of his story and broke down, I don't–" Joel stood with his arms crossed, within your 6 feet radius, but there was nothing soft about it.

He was expecting an explanation, and an explanation he got: "That, Joel? That's what fucking scares me! I hear the shit they went through and I listen to it, waiting for the time he's going to get to the part where I did something to him or someone he cared for– waiting for the time they're going to shoot me or stab me– or you! And then they get like– like that, or do something nice to us, and suddenly I feel like an asshole because they're not bad people in the end, they just need some fucking help!"

You breathed heavily as your hands remained open at your sides after all the gestures and motions, your chest rising and falling very obviously as small sweat and tear droplets rolled down your face: "And they're seeking help in all the wrong places, from the most unsuitable people. I don't know about you, but I'm not mentally capable of taking their load while I have my own to deal with."

Joel took in a short amount of breath, as if to speak, but immediately closed his mouth. He stared into your eyes for what felt like 30 minutes, searching for something– you weren't quite sure what. He looked angry, upset, worried and heartbroken all in the same time.

Finally, when he couldn't speak, you added: "If anything happened to me, I could live with that." You spoke calmly, nodding curtly: "But if anything happens to you? I'll tear this whole goddamn town apart and make sure they can't find a place to hide from me."

Your fidgeting, unfocused eyes suddenly found Joel's hazel ones; you saw through all the anger, fretting and upset at that moment.

It was such an adoring, lovely gaze– Bit by bit, it drained you of all the hate and other ugly emotions pressing down your shoulders; a great sense of solace overcoming you as his big, warm hand cupped your jaw. He leaned in to steal the softest of kisses from your damaged lips– subconscious biting had seen to that, but Joel's softer ones made up for the loss on your side.

Before he could give you the chance to debate on whether you should hug him or not, he pulled back, his hand on your cheek still: "I won't let anything happen to you– To either of us. I promise you." You stared into each other's eyes for another moment, then he placed a most gentle kiss on your temple: "I made some dinner for you, go and eat for me."

You nodded, eyes lowering to the ground, then slowly walked away. Joel was quick to take notice of your broken stance– slumped shoulders, slowed steps and, ah, there goes the hand through your hair. He knew, then, that he had to put more effort into understanding how you viewed the couple and respecting your feelings. Sure, you were prone to worry and overthink, but so was he. Nothing, as far as he knew and had seen, had gotten to you like this before. Something ought to be wrong for you to beat yourself up over it as you did.

But despite everything –despite him still not seeing the way you saw the couple– you were, of course (and without question), his priority. He trusted you and your judgement, and it had always been so.

He just hoped it wasn't too late to show you that.

[three-headed-monster]

steal your heart

*gif is mine please do not repost without credit

summary: call me criminal...

word count: 1K

pairings: brennan othmann x reader

requested: no

warnings: some swearing? uh i guess disrespect of boundaries? but there are apologies!

a/n: welcome to ✨secret fic✨number #2!!! wrote this cause i got in my otter feels and then pushed through the last 500 words or so after his interview came out yesterday! also no this isn't inspired by a disney channel song pshhh

“Go out with me.”

Rolling your eyes, you slam the door of your locker shut. Hopefully, it caught Otter’s face on the way back.

“No Brennan,” you say, trying to speed-walk your way to the cafeteria where hopefully you could get away from the boy who was trying to make your life a personal hell.

“I really wish you would just call me Otter like the rest of the world does.”

You just walk faster.

“I think I said no the first three times you’ve asked me Brennan, and I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t ask me anymore.”

You didn’t understand why he was still following you, why he was still pestering you about this. You had heard all about the stupid bet he and his boys had made about you, which was not only misogynistic and totally wrong of them to do, but also totally disrespectful to your right to say no. But apparently, instead of leaving you alone, Otter couldn’t take a fucking hint and was constantly asking if you wanted to go out with him. You liked him a lot, yeah, and thought he was really cute but this wasn’t doing it or you right now. You felt violated, as you should.

“Please? I-I don’t know I just heard--”

You whip your head around, immediately, so fast you think if you had done it any faster you would have gotten momentary whiplash.

“Heard what? That I was into you? And is that why you guys made the bet? So you could see how gullible I was and if I would fall for it?”

God you were so pissed off, you were this close to running so you could just get the fuck away from him. How embarrassing would it be if he straight up just said “yeah that’s exactly why,” and then walked away? It’d be all of your insecurities bubbling up and spilling out for everyone to see. You couldn’t risk it, and so you’re turning before he can even open his mouth, already contemplating an escape route if he followed you.

But a soft hand on your wrist stopped you, and oh. His hands felt nice on your skin.

“It wasn’t a bet,” he says, turning your hand slowly into his so your hands are clasped together loosely. “It was a dare. Shaner dared me to ask you out and-and he told me I could borrow his parents’ car to drive you around and stuff if I got you to say yes, because my car is an old mess and--He was tired of me always chickening out and not saying anything to you. And-and the first time you said no, I was going to stop but it didn’t sound convincing and so-so I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

He’s clearly emotional now, letting go of your wrist and running a hand over his face exasperatedly. If that wasn’t proof enough about the way he felt about you, you would have known by the time he opened his mouth, his voice quiet and shaky, breaking in between each word.

“If you really want me to stop I will.”

And did you? You had always thought that he was a good guy, from the first time he told you about some stupid shit that Shane did while you guys were in history class. And he wasn’t bad looking either, just your type, and while you were annoyed he didn’t stop, you knew deep down he wasn’t the type to disrespect boundaries like that consistently. This was a one time thing, and you knew that if you told him no, he would walk away and give you the space you needed.

But you really didn’t want that. Not really. No, what you wanted was to tell him that you’d go out with him, that you’d wanted to go out with him, that you didn’t care if his car was a two-door Fiat that barely had enough room for two people in it cause the closer you are the more likely it is you’ll end up making out with each other at the end of the night. Yeah, he was going to be in deep shit for this and Shane would probably have to do some major grovelling too, but you weren’t going to give up a chance to be with the boy that had stolen your heart from the first “hello”.

“You’re gonna be making this up to me for the next forever,” you say, grabbing his hand and locking it in yours. “But I’ll go out with you Otter.”

As annoying as he’s been the past few days, incessantly asking you out, the way he ducks his head and pulls you closer to him wipes that from your mind immediately. Endearingly, he even drops a kiss to your hand before tugging you towards the cafeteria, probably to get Shane to pay up cause you said yes. You can see it all over his face that he’s ecstatic about it, and yeah, this was definitely the right choice.

“Hey Y/N.”

You can already tell it’s going to be something ridiculous just by the way he says your name (which you want to hear again and again and again), but you indulge him anyways pressing a smile into his arm and saying “yeah?”

“Wanna know why I’m a criminal?”

You know. You do know, he doesn’t even have to say the punchline to the joke, because it’s so cheesy and sappy and cliche that you already know what he’s going to say. But it doesn’t make you blush any less, nor does it stop the butterflies from erupting in your stomach as he waits just the right amount of time before dropping the next line.

“Because I stole your heart Y/N, cause you fucking said YES.”

And you can practically already see Shane pulling out the car keys to his parents car as Otter boldly announces your arrival to the cafeteria to probably everyone in the school. And yeah.

This was the right choice.

taglist: @heighia @2manytabsopen @samsteel @pucking-insane @callllumhood @barzychuk @b-brz @0cean-vib3s @stars-canucks@dumbbrunettechild

[nightswithkookmin]

RE BigHit vs Jikook

@sizzlingpatrolfox

I appreciate you trying to clear things up after my last post on this topic.

I skimmed through your rejoinder and I get where you are coming from. But it seems the point of my response to you flew right over your head too.

You know what gaslighting is great but do you know what whistling is and how the erroneous use of reductios- reductio ad absurdums, the act of reducing another's argument to absurd extremities in order to critique is a form of whistling- exposing a person to online attacks or placing a target on an individual's back?

I really, really don't believe BigHit would HIDE TWO PEOPLE interacting within the group either you know?

I don't think asking two people to tone things down or slow down because they are acting risqué is the same as HIDING those two peole. That's gaslighting and is tacky.

Are you aware that by intentionally misconstruing and misinterpreting my theories in the way that you are doing in your reblogs can subject me to unwarranted negative attention and could potentially lead others who come across your reblogs out of context to attack, disparage and critique me harshly unprovoked?

Cyber Trolls and bullies looking for attention on the bird app often use this tactic to direct hate and abuse towards individuals they've tartget.

They intentionally distort their targets words, twist it around, reduce it to something absurd that they know will inflame passions or take it out of context, and post it online to incite and direct mass hate and violence towards people knowing full well that not everyone who comes across the content they've posted would grasp the context or go out of their way to find the right context of those texts.

These people try and often succeed at weaponizing the mass attention by appealing to the crowds sense of 'cancel culture' as a means to suppress and oppress people they've targeted on the internet.

I have been subjected to this form of online abuse one too many times, I'm used to it by now. But I don't find it funny at all. People will intentionally distort and reduce my theories to extreme absurdities or take certain bits out of context and would post these to Twitter, facebook, their GCs or whatever platforms they have in order to fuel or direct hate towards me either because they don't like me as a person or they don't like the things I say out here.

And their go to code word of attack is always, Taekook_lives because they know how passionate half the fandom is about that person.

You refer to your statement, 'BTS are ashamed of ships' and 'Jikook gets punished whenever they look at eachother' as a literary resource, whatever you mean by that, but you made it seem in your post like it's a theory coming from me or one I had espoused when in fact it's a reductio from you.

Am I the author of those statements? No. Have I said or implied those premise. No. But you have. Those are your assumptions about my posts. The emphasis is yours not mine. It's your interpretation of my work and like you said YOUR opinion on my work.

But ask yourself. Would you be dragged and attacked for it if it gained attention or would I ?

Do you see the problem here?

I get called out for people's interpretations of my posts all the time which to me is ridiculous.

There is nothing wrong with misunderstanding a post, or falling on the fallacy of reductio ad absurdum to argue your points, it can be humorous sometimes but understand it's a fallacy especially if you are appealing to the extremes of the argument like you keep doing in your reposts- please credit those posts appropriately next time you quote me by using disclaimers such as 'the emphasis is mine' where you assume a a meaning out of my posts or use 'the reductio is mine' or 'I assume by this statement you mean' 'correct me if I'm wrong'

Get creative with it. Lol.

Where none of these markers are used I assume without prejudice malice rooted in the fiery pits of hell are intended and I treat it as such.

As for the rest of your argument about Jikook not being a brand. It's fine. Do you.

But I disagree. Jikook is a brand in of themselves within BTS.

I see them as a brand. I see them as being managed by BigHit as a brand.

Also, I believe BigHit is aware they are dating and they are well aware of instances where Jikook gets negative attention too like whenever Christian organizations in South Korea lead online protests against them for promoting homophobia in South Korea because of their 'fan service.'

Side note: People are out here screaming Jikook is fan service every day but apparently South Korean Christians disagree. Lmho.

As for how BigHit manages Jikook in instances where they attract negative attention, I think their approach to JK's Tattoo girl scandal says it all.

The company asked the shop to lay low until it all blew over. I assume this is the protocol. I don't think it's crazy for me or anyone to assume that BigHit does the same with Jikook and ask them to tone things down when they are recieving negative attention or are moving in a way that is likely to attract negative attention.

I don't know how you arrived at 'BigHit is hiding Jikook' when all I said is I felt around a period BigHit had asked Jikook to tone things down- perhaps because they had a strategic partnership in the pipelines but sure go ahead and compare me to Taekook_lives because what better way to punish me for the opinions you don't agree with or shut me up than to get the do before complain gassed up 13 year olds roaming these streets to come for me😊

Or better still set loose the Kookie monsters of tumblr on me- those are a lovely bunch😊

Unfortunately, tactics like these don't work on me honey.

I'm gay and a Christian.

Hell fire doesn't stop me from doing the gay. I don't think retweets from faceless chipmunks will slow me down out here💀

As for my theory on JK and Jikook getting punished when they breach company policies or come close to breaching their glass closet- actions have consequences.

They are employees at the end of the day and as much as they have self autonomy they are required to honor their contracts, terms of service, and obey company rules in order to continue to be employed by the company.

BTS themselves have talked about recieving punishments for defying company rules every now and then. Tae Kook have said they are partners in crime because they often get into trouble with the company and get 'scolded' for it. Jin have said he got into trouble with the company for cutting his hair himself or something. He's said he was pulled into a long meeting with staff over his hair once when he dyed it by himself- cross check, I don't remember accurately what that long meeting was about.

Jimin have said the same thing- getting in trouble for doing certain things that defy company polieces. BTS have said they aren't allowed to do certain things like drunken tweets, drinking or even swearing on VLive.

Do I think they get pulled into long meetings for a word or two when they act risqué yea. Do I think sometimes drastic measures are taken to serve as a warning or deterrent to others yes.

I really don't know why you find it absurd that I assume Jikook get punished for certain actions or that they get regulated by the company.

The look on RM and JM's face in the Be. TS Vlive when JK talked about preferring white to black to me is indication JK was going off script in that moment and was acting defiant as fuck. I don't think it's far fetched for me to assume JK wasn't supposed to say what he said or that he was going against the collective will of the group to uphold the kumbaya image of the group in that instance.

It's equally not far fetched for me to assume JM or RM would ask him as politely as possible to check his attitude next time during a VLive.

Hell, we've seen Hobi advice Jikook to be careful the way they conduct themselves on stage.

We've seen RM glare at, tap, and touch JK and the others several times on stage or during interviews and awards to get them to behave themselves and Tae has explained its because RM wants and tries to get them to act and look 'cool' in front of the cameras most times.

Tae did say he wasn't allowed to record a song with Jimin now didn't he?

Aren't all these a form of regulation? Why then do you think it's absurd for me to believe Jikook are sometimes regulated?

Please listen to BTS's song, A Typical trainee's Christmas to understand in what ways the company controls them. They've said it themselves, not I.

I recommend you watch Rookie King to understand the relationship between the boys and the company. Tae and Jin were not complaining about the company for no damn reason.

Of course they've matured now and their success guarantees them more status and freedom within the company as they are royalty and shareholders of BigHit but they are employees nonetheless.

Listen to RM- the leader of the group talk about that the company disregards their ideas and their creative inputs into their visuals and marketing I presume during the TaeNamKook YouTube live in 2020.

I promise you, just think of Jikook as real and in real life settings and the mystery will go away.

They are two gay men who work together under a company that is queer friendly but set up in homophobic society.

What advice would this company give them?

There you have your answer and if you still believe it's too fantastical to assume then agreed to disagree.

Sign,

GOLDY

[funknrolll]

Celebrating Prince: discovering a timeless artist and his meaningful and impactful art. Part 3. The legal battle against Warner Bros, The Gold Experience and Emancipation eras.

Hi music lovers, as I anticipated on monday, music addiction is going to celebrate Prince and his amazing and timeless work!! The article will be split into a few little articles. I hope you enjoy this new format and these articles!!

For some reasons I had to repost this article therefore the 4th part will be uploaded tomorrow✨ stay tuned for more✨

As I said yesterday, let me say that I have heard so many things about Prince’s artistry. Some comments came from uneducated people who did not even take a second of their lives to understand, and do research on his art. Hence, I think the time to shed some light on Prince’s art, has come (finally). I hope to help some of those people understand this artist better and to finally appreciate him the way he deserves. We owe Prince big time. Today’s music and musicians  owe Prince everything. Without him, many of the artists we listen to today, WOULD NOT BE EXISTING. As we all know, Prince loved to experiment with music, trying out new music genres, new styles, new harmonies, melodies, rhythms and so on. This is one of the factors that led this legend to create a unique, wide and broad vault. There are so many songs of his that I love so much and that I find relevant for this article. The ones I chose, are going to prove that Prince and his music did not just revolve around sex and sexuality, (even if the artist through his music took the topic to another whole level). Through the article, we will see that Prince was more than all that I mentioned above. He was an extraordinary human being, blessed with so many enormous talents, with a beautiful mind, a uniquely pure soul. A true gift of God. With this in mind, let us start this article.

This is the sequel of the 2 articles I posted yesterday, so in case you guys missed them, check the previous 2 out.

Before I continue with this article, it is important to mention the Prince’s fight against Warner Bros. I know this was a matter so close to his heart and he cared about that. Hence, I think there is the impellent need to explain the situation to spread awareness and to remind the huge efforts Prince made beside his beautiful music. Back in the 90s, the artist’s music was owned by the aforementioned record company, although Prince was the person who composed, wrote, and performed HIS music. The artist was extremely aware of the importance of owning his masters and therefore his music wanted to buy back the rights to his music from Warner Bros, but the company denied that. Therefore, the artist would have had to re-record his music, the same music HE composed, HE wrote and performed. Indeed, as Prince stated in a 1999, Paper interview, “I wanted to buy my masters back from Warner Bros. They said no way. So I'm going to re-record them. All of them. Now you will have two catalogs with pretty much exactly the same music—except mine will be better—and you can either give your money to WB, the big company, or to NPG. You choose.". During this long legal battle, the artist decided to leave Warner Bros and created his own record label The NPG Records. Besides all of that, Prince, during the legal fight with Warner Bros, changed his name into an unpronounceable symbol and started to write the word slave on his face to symbolize the condition of slavery under which many artists had to stay. This battle lasted for about 4 decades. With this Prince was fighting for his artistic freedom, ownership of his work, and his rights. In addition to that, Not only was this huge artist fighting for himself, but also for all the other artists exploited by record companies. The artist formerly known as Prince was not to be silenced. Indeed, many of the works he crafted during the 90s, were an act of protest against record companies. It is extremely important to remind people how this artist gave his contribution and paved the path for other artists to be free and be more aware of this ENORMOUSLY important issue. I briefly summarized and addressed this HUGELY RELEVANT issue, but there would be more to say, and I will write an article about that. I will never stress enough the importance of Prince’s battle against record companies and his music being robbed from him. He has made a big impact and we all should be thankful and grateful to him for being bold enough to speak up about the topic and address this issue. 

Moving back to his music, in 1993 Prince ended the partnership with Warner Bros and started his own record label the NPG Records. Needless to say, as soon as the artist started his label, he began working on his new project, The Gold Experience, that eventually was released in 1995. This timeless gem is the product of Prince’s deep and broad artistic evolution. On this masterpiece, there are 3 songs that I find extremely relevant which are: We March, The Most Beautiful Girl in the world, Billy Jack Bitch, and Gold.  Through its forthright and explicit lyrics, We March is a powerful protest song where the artist speaks up against racism, misogyny, and prejudice.

If this is the same avenue my ancestors fought 2 liberate

 How come I can't buy a piece of it even if my credit's straight?

 If all the water's dirty and I wanna lay the pipe, my dammy

 The river that I drink from, will it be the same as your mammy 

In these lines, the artist is raising his voice against the prejudice of moneylenders.

If this is the same sister that U cannot stop calling a bitch (Bitch)

 If U can't find a better reason 2 call this woman otherwise

 Then don't cry, U made the bed in which U lie

These lines are a protest against misogyny, particularly slurs such as the term bitch which is seldom referred to women. 

Now's the time (now's the time) 2 find a rhyme (Yeah)

 That's got a reason (Yeah) and frees the mind (free your mind)

 From angry thoughts, the racist kind (Yeah)

 If we all wanna a change then come on get in line (Get in line!)

 Next time we march (Whoa)

 We're kickin' down the door

 Next time we march (Hey yeah) (Whoa)

 All is what were marchin' 4

With this bit of the lyrics, Not only is the artist revolting against racism, but it is a warm encouragement to react and change the situation. This song is a total anthem against racism, prejudice, and misogyny, to the point that in 1995 it became the hymn of the Million Men March. Moreover, I think it is urgent to focus on the arrangement of this song. The arrangement is strictly connected to the lyrics to make the song even more vivid.  I picked the music sheet for the piano. I am not going to annoy you with some obnoxious details, and I will try to be brief. I hope to be as clear as possible. The arrangement is presenting a key signature at the beginning of every staff which means the song is arranged in G major.  The key signature designates notes that have to be played higher or lower than the corresponding natural notes, and it is applied through to the end of the piece or up to the next key signature. In this case, after the clef, we can find a sharp sign which means that some notes are raised one semitone above the natural notes. Some other notes have the natural sign near them which means that the sharp key signature is canceled for them, hence these notes are natural. With this said, the question should be, why would Prince arrange the song like this? In my opinion, the artist might have used a key signature to raise some notes and the natural sign to cancel the accidental, for a specific reason. Musically speaking, Prince was an educated genius, hence I am sure he knew exactly what he was doing and why. The artist wanted to create an imbalance between the notes to create the effect of a real and difficult march, almost like climbing a mountain. Perhaps this arrangement might symbolize a difficult march that eventually will lead to the achievement of freedom, respect, equality, acceptance. Therefore, I would say that the connection between the extremely complex arrangement and the lyrics was magistrally crafted. This song is just one of the many examples of how brilliant Prince was.

Furthermore, another song that I love is Billy Jack Bitch. This is another protest song, but the topic is totally different from the previous one. Through these hilarious and sarcastic lyrics, Prince is revolting against a gossip columnist named Cheryl Johnson who was caught being utterly rude. As a matter of fact, the song is so crystal clear that there is no need for further explanations. However, one thing that I noticed in the lyrics Prince managed to mention the initials of the woman. 

Joy - it's in the dictionary

 See "J" Billy Jack Bitch 

The artist could not write the actual initials of the woman, because otherwise he would have been sued. Nonetheless, Prince was so smart that through a phonemic effect (see J) he managed to say the initials of the woman and thus give subtle hints about the woman’s identity. Moreover, what impressed me about the song is the drumline which is in my opinion phenomenal. The striking background vocals also caught my attention because, after some research, I found out that the voice we hear belongs to the rockstar and Prince’s fellow artist Lenny Kravitz’s. Two geniuses in one song are there anything more iconic?

Last but not least, my favorite song on the album is Gold. I love this masterpiece with every cell of my body. The meaning and the message this song is delivering are so POWERFUL!! The deep meaning behind these uplifting lyrics is to be ourselves, be unique, and never follow the mass because “All that glitters ain’t gold”. We should never follow the crowd. Not everything the crowd does is gold, even if it looks like it. We should be ourselves and make a difference. We should take difficult roads and climb the highest mountains to see the top. There would be another method of interpretation. The majestic music video and the scribble slave across Prince’s face might be inferring another significance. Thus, I would assume that this song might be another protest but this time against Warner Bros since Prince was in the legal battle against record label. Indeed, the meaning of the song may apply well to that situation. As a matter of fact, Prince might be inferring that even if contracts with a record company look like gold, in reality, they just glitter that tie the artists to a condition of slavery. Anyways, the arrangement also deserves attention. Indeed, the chorus of the song goes “All that glitters ain’t gold” and in my opinion, the arrangement of the keyboard is extremely peculiar and well related to this bit of the lyrics. First, it is important to say that the keyboard is dominating and I also think it is important to pay attention to its arrangement.  As I could see from the music sheet, the arrangement is characterized by high notes which are raised by the key signature after the clef. Indeed, this song is arranged in D major which means that the arrangement contains 2 sharps and the arrangement is written like this : 

This also means that all the already high notes on the staff are raised one tone. Now you might be asking: what is the point she is trying to make? what does this have to do with Prince? I am aware that the logic behind this might seem odd, but I will get to the point of this. As I said, this song’s composition is characterized by a range of middle-high notes. As Prince was musically educated, I am quite sure that the composition of this masterpiece and its arrangement, have a deep connection with the lyrics. Indeed, I would assume that Prince might have opted for this arrangement to enhance the meaning of this beautiful masterpiece. The chorus of this song goes “all that glitters ain’t gold” and in the music video we can see Prince being “showered” with a rain of golden glitters, therefore this recurring topic might be what connects the lyrics to the arrangement of the song. As a matter of fact, when we think about glitters, especially a rain of glitter we might associate this with a particular sound which most likely might be characterized by some high tinkling sound. This is exactly the effect Prince aimed to create with this magistral arrangement. Those middle-high notes I mentioned have the peculiarity of creating this beautiful effect that is the sound of glitter tinkling, which is even more enhanced by the music video. 

The release of Emancipation marked Prince’s definitive end of the partnership with the record label Warner Bros. It was the artist’s 19th studio album and probably one of my favorites. From the self-explanatory title, it is quite evident that Prince was still fighting against WB for his rights. However, not only is this work featuring protest songs but also some covers and some love songs where the artist expresses his affection for his former wife Mayte Garcia. Through some well thought and precise details, Prince’s personal touch is quite evident in this project. Indeed, this is a triple album and each album is consisting of 12 songs. Each album lasts exactly 60 minutes. Hence, the accuracy and the precision behind this masterpiece are quite impressive. In fact, the artist had an explanation for this, as he explained in several interviews, this was based on his studies of ancient Egypt and Egyptians: “The building of the pyramids and how the pyramids were related to the constellations. They were a message from the Egyptians about how civilization really started."

Among the most significant songs on this masterpiece we can find: The Holy River, Slave, The Love We Make, and the homonymous Emancipation.

The first song mentioned is The Holy River. Through these exceedingly deep lyrics, we can infer that the artist went through a major spiritual shift. More precisely, the Holy River might be a metaphor that might be symbolizing the baptism. Indeed, if my guessing is correct, this metaphor will be perfect with the general meaning of the song as being baptized also means the beginning of a new life, which is what Prince experienced with this major spiritual shift. 

Let's go down 2 the holy river

 If we drown then we'll be delivered

 U can still see the picture upon the wall

 One eye staring at nothing at all

 The other one trying 2 focus through all your tears

 U can try and try but there's nothin' 2 hide

 U can't run from yourself and what's inside

 U got 2 find the answers 2 the questions that U most fear

So over and over U ask your soul

 Why'd U come down 2 a world so cold?

 And the voice inside says 2night the truth will be told 

Also, the chorus of the song is quite eloquent as Prince is providing a detailed explaining of how he went through a dark moment in his life where he was struggling to find answers, where he was afraid to look inside of himself and to find the truth and the answers. 

U surrounded yourself with all the wrong faces

 Spending your time in all the wrong places

 Puttin' your faith in things that only make U cry

 People say they love U when they wanna help

 But how can they when U can't help yourself?

 The more they say they love U, the more U just wanna die

 So here we go again, the self-analysis

 Have another glass of Port and uh... forget this

 The band's playin' at the club 2night and they're bound 2 groove 

Also, these lines are quite eloquent, and I think there is no need for some further explanation. These are practically a description of the troubles he went through and how lonely and hopeless he felt during that time of his life and how he managed to survive. 

There U are, U think U're high

 U can't ask yourself cuz U'd only lie

 If U had a dollar 4 every time U tried

  U can't call nobody cuz they'll tell U straight up

 Come and make love when U really hate 'em

 Relationships based on the physical are over and done

 They're over and done (They're over and done)

 U'd rather have fun

 With only one, with only one

 Only one... one (one) 

Again, in these lines, the artist is describing what he went through. In the last 5 lines, we can notice that a major spiritual shift was occurring and thus the positive change the artist went through Indeed, in the next lines, the artist describes how he started to change after he realized that God was by his side.

And then it hit 'cha like a fist on a wall

 Who gave U life when there was none at all?

 Who gave the sun permission 2 rise up every day? (Ooh, oh yes)

 Let me tell it (Go'n)

 If U ask God 2 love U longer

 Every breath U take will make U stronger

 Keepin' U happy (happy) and proud 2 call His name (Go'n and say it)

 Jesus (Jesus)

  And over and over U ask your soul

 Why'd U come down 2 a world so cold?

 And the voice inside said 2night the truth will be told

 And this time I was listening, hear me 

As a matter of fact, as I mentioned, these lines explain, perfectly a time of transition when the artist was evolving and changing. In the next lines, the artist describes the moments after the spiritual shift took place.

Let's go down 2 the holy river

 If we drown then we'll be delivered (Yes we will)

 If we don't then we'll never see the light (No)

 If U die before U try

 U'll have 2 come back and face the light (Oh yes)

 When U believe it, U got a good reason 2 cry (Oh my, my)

  So I went on down 2 the holy river

 I called my girl and told her I had something 2 give her

 I asked her 2 marry me and she said yes, I cried

 Oh, that night I drowned in her tears and mine

 And.. and instead of a glass of sorrow and wine

 Looking back y'all, I don't miss nothing except the time

 And when I see that picture up on the wall

 The one eye staring at nothing at all

 My eyes trying 2 focus but these are much different tears

 Oh, yes they are 

Like the end of a beautiful story, these last lines, are the conclusion of this masterpiece that closes with a “happy ever after”. Indeed, in these last lines, the artist compares the act of going down to the holy river to facing the light which means a new beginning, a new life. In these last 9 lines, the artist describes the exact moment when he proposed to his girlfriend to marry him. He then reconnects to the beginning of the song where he cried tears of sorrow while at the end of this story he said to be crying “much different tears” which perhaps might be tears of happiness. Moreover, musically speaking, the arrangement of this song is quite homogenous except for the very last bars. After the artist finishes performing the lyrics, he reprises the main harmonies and performs them with a guitar and piano solo, then adding a choir that performs the background vocals with some light head voices that recall the angels singing. These last bars are played in such a manner that reflects the feeling of the artist: joy, love, relief, ultimate happiness. All the emotions a person who has experienced a major spiritual shift will feel. Furthermore, I have also noticed a shift in the instrumental. At the beginning of this masterpiece, the instrumental is “softer” and the sound of the instruments is kept lower. This happens for the first part of the song where Prince describes what he experienced when he was going through a difficult time. Then, after the artist sings these lines: “ Relationships based on the physical are over and done

 They're over and done (They're over and done)

 U'd rather have fun

 With only one, with only one

 Only one... one (one) “ 

it is extremely evident that the instrumental changes. Indeed, Prince turns up the volume of the instruments which are in my opinion, also joyously played, like he is telling his listener “listen to me, this is my story, I Am happy, and you should be too”. 

Another song that I totally love is Slave. This is, in my opinion, such an ingenious masterpiece and we can hear how Prince took inspiration from the whole work songs genre. With the forthright message of the song, Prince was still raising awareness about how record companies exploited artists, hence he wrote this powerful masterpiece, a protest song, to release all his rage and frustration. 

Everybody keeps trying to break my heart

 Everybody except for me

 I just want a chance to play the part

 The part of someone truly free 

From its chorus, this song is extremely eloquent. Prince is basically protesting against his enemies who most likely would be record companies and perhaps, as he mentioned in the 4th line 

“My enemies kept it turning, but now they pound the gavel

 And judging me accordingly, I know, I know”  

 those who judge him for commencing a legal fight against record companies. However, I am quite sure that this masterpiece is a protest song crafted to vent and raise awareness about the condition artists had to stay under for an extremely long time which was treated as slaves. In support of my theory, I would report these lyrics:

Slowly candle burns, where'd they learn hypnosis?

 How'd they keep me under for so long?

 Break the bread I earn, just keep me far from closest

 I need their kind to illustrate what's wrong - what's wrong?

 Well, I'll tell you they just keep trying to break my heart

 They just keep trying to break my heart, ow! 

From the second line, it is quite clear that those who kept the artist under and broke the bread he earned might have been the record companies, particularly Warner Bros, that contractually forced Prince to produce his music and kept a big part of his earnings OF THE MUSIC HE PRODUCED, HIS OWN MUSIC. Another interpretation of this line might be that Warner Bros owned the rights of PRINCE’S MUSIC. Therefore, the artist did not have the rights of his own music which should have been HIS OWN. Moreover, as Prince explained in several interviews when he asked the record company for the rights of HIS MUSIC back, they just said no. This might explain well this line as the record label by not giving him his rights back kept Prince far from emancipating, and hence the artist just left Warner Bros and started his own record company. Moreover, what left me speechless and mesmerized, in total awe about this MASTERPIECE, is the instrumental and the music genre Prince chose to craft this MONUMENTAL PIECE OF ART. Why did Prince choose to give this masterpiece the title of Slave and what music genre could suit well a song with this eloquent title? Obviously, a work song with some soul influences. Indeed, what amazed me is that this masterpiece is crafted as a real work song. To understand this masterpiece better, I need to step back to the work song genre and explain some of their distinctive and relevant peculiarities. Work song is a music genre that was spread around the world (indeed there is more than just one type of work song, they were used all around the world), but focusing on Afro-American work songs, this music genre developed in America during slavery times between the xvii-xix century. This genre had several functions for instance: to coordinate the labor of a group of people working together, which improved the efficiency of the work, and to relieve the boredom of a tedious job, which improves the lives of the workers. Also, work songs were seldom used as an act of protest against the condition of slavery, injustice, and poverty. These songs were frequently sung by a leader followed by a choir. Additionally, to keep the rhythm of those chants, workers generally used their working tools or the stomping of their feet or they even clapped their hands. With this said as I would say that Slave by Prince is part of this music genre. Moreover, as we can hear, the beats of this masterpiece resemble the use of the tools used by slaves to create the rhythmic path to their chants. Another peculiarity that was taken after the music genre just mentioned, is the choir to which Prince was the lead singer. Indeed, the artist performs the main lines while the chorus is performed by the choir. This technique is called call and response which was quite typical in Afro-American work songs. Additionally, the emphatic and emotional and heartfelt performance the artist offered, makes it easy to sympathize with his pain, his rage, and his exhaustion. 

Furthermore, one of my favorite songs on this album is The Love We Make. Such a breathtaking masterpiece. In my opinion, the meaning of this masterpiece is quite hermetic. Indeed, just by reading the lyrics, it might not be clear what Prince meant with those words. However, It is widely believed that this song might have been produced to remember Jonathan Melvoin, Susannah, and Wendy’s brother, who died from heroin overdose. Melvoin was a musical child prodigy who worked with Prince on several projects and he also collaborated with some punk bands. It is believed that this song is dedicated to him for several reasons: the first one is the year he passed away which was 1996, secondly, and most importantly because the artist described the song as “written to speak to the spirit of a friend lost to drugs”. Moreover, in the liner notes to the Emancipation 1996 LP, the song is described as “written for a lost friend”. Hence, for all these reasons, this song is believed to be about Jonathan Melvoin. This is perhaps one of the most powerful and inspiring songs in Prince’s vault, truly breathtaking. With the reassuring yet preaching lyrics the artist was delivering an enlightening message: no matter how difficult life might be, there is still hope and we should all be grateful for the miracle and the gift God gave us. 

Happy is the way 2 meet your burdens 

 No matter how heavy or dark the day 

 Pity on those with no hope 4 2morrow 

 It’s never as bad as it seems until we say 

As I mentioned, specifically in these lines Prince is encouraging the listener to be happy and full of hope no matter what, condemning those who do not have hope in the future as things are never as bad as they seem. 

Precious is the baby with a mother 

 That tells him that his savior is coming soon 

 All that believe will cleanse and purify themselves 

 Put down the needle, put down the spoon 

 Even though these lines are quite hermetic and enigmatic I will attempt to give a proper explanation. The artist is mentioning a baby and his mother, and the mother telling the baby that his savior is coming soon. Hence, as Prince was extremely spiritual and had a great, broad, and keen knowledge of the Bible and the Gospel, I would assume that these two lines are related to the Scriptures. The logic behind this might seem odd, but I will attempt to get to the point with a proper explanation. As Prince was fascinated by the ancient Egyptian world, as it is evident from the set up of the songs on the album, I would assume that these lines are connected to two biblical figures. Honestly, at first, before doing my research, I was going to assume that Prince was alluding to Jesus Christ and the Holy Mary. However, the biblical figures he was hinting to, were instead Moses and his mother Jochebed. For those who are not familiar with the Scripture, Jochebed to avoid the mass slaughter of Hebrew boys, and therefore, her son to be brutally killed, she set her baby adrift in the Nile River, hoping someone would find him and raise him. God so worked that her baby was found by Pharaoh's daughter. Jochebed even became her own son's nurse. Then, God used Moses mightily, to free the Hebrew people from their 400 years of slavery and took them to the Promised Land. Although little is written about Jochebed in the Bible, her story speaks powerfully to mothers of today. Hence, the connection between those two lines of the song and the biblical figures is quite clear. Moreover, as the title of the album is Emancipation and one of the topics of this masterpiece is the artist’s rebellion against Warner Bros, which forced him to work in a condition of slavery, Moses's story who freed Hebrews from slavery and took them to the Promised Land, might apply quite well to Prince’s story who fought to free himself from Warner Bros and start his own record company. Moreover, with the following two lines Prince is suggesting that by believing in God we are purifying and cleansing themselves. As regards to the last line, as I mentioned, is what created the widespread belief that this masterpiece might have been dedicated and inspired by Jonathan Melvoin. In addition to that, on the album, there are not reported the full lyrics of the song, but just one line of it which is precisely “Put down the needle, put down the spoon” and on the bottom line we can find “Written 4 a lost friend.” which hints even more to Jonathan Melvoin. Again, referring to the line I just mentioned, Prince is using another tone to sing these words. Indeed, if we listen to the song attentively, we would hear how the artist was preaching against drug addiction. Furthermore, the next lines, are extremely well related to the previous one. 

Sacred is the prayer that asks 4 nothing, oh 

 While seeking 2 give thanks 4 every breath we take, oh 

 Blessed are we inside this prayer 

 4 in the new world, we will be there 

With these lines, Prince is encouraging the listener to be grateful for the gift of life, giving thanks for every breath we take, praying God without asking him for anything but rather praying him with gratitude for the gift of life. In the last two lines, Prince is basically telling the listener that those who pray God, believe in Him, and have faith in Him, will be blessed with a “new world” which is the Kingdom of Heaven. The last lines of the song are the chorus.

The only love there is, is the love we make {x2} 

 (the only love there is, is the love we make) 

 Only love there is, only love there is 

 The only love there is, is the love we make (yeah) 

 The only love there is, is the love we make 

These lines repeated four times like a beautiful monumental hymn, are used to teach a vital lesson: the only thing that matters is the love we give out, the love we spread while we are alive. That is to say, this is the ultimate purpose of life: to give love and being grateful for the gift of life. Furthermore, as regards the arrangement of this masterpiece, it was crafted in such a way that it allowed the artist to use a preaching tone during the interpretation. This peculiarity in the performance of the song is even more enhanced at the end of the masterpiece. Indeed, when the artist performs the lines that begin with “Sacred is the prayer that asks 4 nothing”, he changed the vocal register from a light chest voice to a powerful head voice which also gives more power to the words he was singing turning them into a real preach. The shift of vocal register in this particular bit of the song is also extremely effective as the artist is singing out loud such an important lesson that MUST be heard by everyone. Perhaps Prince has put so much emphasis on these magistrally written lines because this is the fulcrum of the song that everyone must listen to carefully. Additionally, if we listen to Prince’s voice attentively, we will hear some slight shifts in the intention put in the performance. As regards to the instrumental, the Artist opted for a slow ballad in 4/4. Although the choice of a slow ballad, the song is reinforced by guitar, drums, and piano. Additionally, while I was listening to this masterpiece, I realized that the instrumental is characterized by a progressive raising of the tonality of the song. This way, the instrumental was raised by 2 octaves. This characteristic, besides making this masterpiece even more effective and turning it into a beautiful and inspiring preach, gives the listener the idea of a beautiful climb that gets straight to heaven. Personally, whenever I listen to this masterpiece, I feel like I’m watching a beautiful sunset or hiking in the mountains. Moreover, the arrangement is mostly characterized by music accidentals, which in my opinion are an extremely important part of the composition of the song since without them the song would not be perceived as a powerful preach. 

If you guys would like to purchase your copy of the albums I wrote about in this article (which I recommend, PLEASE DO NOT BOOTLEG PRINCE’S MUSIC), I’ll post the links below here

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4RYC5D/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=2a37eabce98ae7fd530fddeff2287ed5&creativeASIN=B07G4RYC5D

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRFM9YJ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=a1e0d017e5a3de4e6b01f3fc5a5f4f3c&creativeASIN=B07VRFM9YJ

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4LHQHQ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=1da616a288e24d1a38bd64113cbb08a0&creativeASIN=B07G4LHQHQ

This was the third part of a series of articles dedicated to Prince to celebrate his life and most importantly his art. Stay tuned for more. If you have missed the first part feel free to check it out✨ In the meantime stay home, stay safe and healthy. Peace and Love 4 one another. thank you so much for your attention 💜 G  💜