#wow i am on tumblr right now!
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follower adoration ♡
#cult of the lamb#fanart#cult of the lamb art#hehee#i love this game#wow i am on tumblr right now!#hi tumblr!!
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Happy Valentines, Akira.
Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order:
Hello, you fucking-
Ah- Hello, Akira!
Fuck off, why should I tell you-
Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.
I don’t want your shitty gift.
Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.
I hope I choke.
They’re lovely, thank you.
Like hell.
Likewise.
There’s no way it’s just a coincidence.
Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
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Just came back after a while and was immediately asked to handle our voter registration, only to find out the DMV issued our permit with the wrong name, and then immediately be convinced into talking to the DMV to figure out how to fix it.
So, anyways, I guess it's nice to be back.
#^ /srs#I show up into the front. Brief “oh hey you're back holy fuck it's been like 2 years we thought u died LOL” and “Who even are you” and then#-“you're good at talking to people right? werent you? can you help w this”#and I'm like wow. Okay. Nice to meet you and nice to see you time to get this done. I am wanted now and not just in a criminal sense again.#I was a **huge** tool before I went dormant so it's nice to see people 1) just don't know me at all or 2) are just happy to see me again.#Anyways. Hi Tumblrinas. I didn't think we'd ever seriously use Tumblr. I have a lot of stuff to catch up on.#--T#<- Still figuring out a name to use publicly. Bare with me here.
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now that suddence is out to betas i'm oscillating between getting more and more self conscious and overthinking about everything that might be wrong with the story vs. knowing that is literally THE POINT of betas and i can't in good conscience let my story slide out into the world with a bunch of faults i didn't catch simply because i was too close to it
#em dashes#DON'T GO EASY ON ME I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING#i just need all my betas to know that I KNOW my story isn't perfect in its current state and that's exactly why it's out for critiques#i think there's always some part of you that wishes the critiques will come back squeaky clean. no notes! absolute perfection!#bc then you'd feel proud! you'd feel like you know what you're doing! like you're a PRO!!#however i gotta remind myself that not even professional writers can crank out perfect stories right away#they all have editors and peer critiques to help them#and i have to be careful about equating critiques as personal failures#because they aren't!! they're there to help!!!#anyway. enough venting for now#it's been a while since i got peer critiques so it's a little unnerving lol#but also also i just saw a very good breakdown of an episode of buffy that deals with grief#and i couldn't help comparing it to suddence which also deals with grief#and thinking 'wow. why didn't i do this. why didn't i do that. am i doing this all wrong'#AHH! writing is a very scary profession sometimes#but to be proud of myself for a second#i've never been so confident as to even show so many people my writing. let alone to receive critique on it#it's so strange to think there was a time where i kept all my writing bottled up and didn't talk about it to anyone even on tumblr#i began posting in 2018. that's not that long ago. that's only five years#and yet it feels like a billion years ago. i was still in university. suddence didn't even exist yet#wow. time is so weird
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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???????!???????!
#wow 10 years really?#tumblrs weird generated posts like “for getting 10 reblogs” are weird but I am posting this one because it took me by surprise#have my thesis deadline next week and am under so much stress right now#I have 8 pages of to dos and this punched me in the face right now#if anybody actually sees this please wish me luck#personal
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my chemical romance plays in twelve minutes
adding my quiet contribution towards manifesting another Gender tonight
#listen. liSTEN. they are less than five miles away from me and i am just deriving faint comfort from knowing we are in (almost) same zipcode#i could bike to the festival location right now 😶#i've been lowkey in MCR SUBMERSION over the last .......month and a half? oh my god.#SO. i never got into them when they were first active! and i'm kind of. half-grateful for that? because WOW that might have been-#-an entirely different person; if my first DEEP musical obsession had 1) occurred in middle/high school instead of college; and#2) had not been david bowie (though in a satisfying roundabout; the glam rock elements of TBP that i REALLY enjoy are inspired by bowie)#draws#my chemical romance#mcr#the cheerleader outfit in tennessee was honestly what got mcr back into my consciousness as 'huh; isn't that the black parade band?'#and then the NURSE outfit gave me a solid two weeks of (・・；)#and then i listened to the entirety of TBP seVERal times and then foundations of decay (!!!!! it is SO GOOD w h a t) and then#spent another week thinking about aging and how your hopes and dreams change their form over the passage of years#thought about the endless cheerful vitality of the behind-the-scenes clips from the black parade music video#and all that potential; and all they DID accomplish (and have continued to accomplish)#and what it means to still be a rock star at this age#but beyond the memey ''tumblr (YOU INCLUDED) is having carnal thoughts about a 45-y.o. dad''; the part that has been striking s o hard is#the gender exultation every time#the way it lights up the stage; the way the fandom falls over itself and curls up and cries with joy#gerard way i hope you are so so happy
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the fact that neurotypicals exist will always be baffling to me honestly like. they can just focus without struggling??? n don't think constantly??? n don't hyperfixate on things??? sounds fake-
#puppy rambles#imagine being able to focus on school. couldn't be me#i'm supposed to be doing school right now but here i am on tumblr sdkfljfskldsf-#why learn about calculating heat or whatever when i can make dumb posts about rhythm heaven#seriously tho why learn about this what am i going to use this for#is there ever going to be a point in my adult life where i'm like#''how much energy will it take to make this water into vapor''#or whatever#science n math are especially stupid#i don't think i'm ever going to need to know what a vertical angle is-#everything past middle school should be optional. maybe even past elementary school tbh#once it gets into algebra idk why it's needed#science i can get still cuz it's good to know what weathering n erosion n shit are#... the more mathy parts are weird tho fskldjfkldsf-#wow this got off-topic. anyways i guess i should probably work on school sdfkjfkfsdjlsfd-#peak adhd over here
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I finished the stripe B)
#well. like.#I actually did like half an hour ago and now I’ve spent the past half hour winding the next yarn colour into a ball#you see the blanket has a previous incarnation which was shit and bad#and I decided not to put myself through the hell of unwinding it All At Once so now instead im doing it colour by colour#so before i move on from one stripe to the next I have to first wind the next stripe into a ball#and the old blanket is so badly made that it takes a really long time because the yarn is like. all tangled up in itself#ALSO I FUCKED UP MY FINGER SO BAD MAN#I won’t go into detail because thinking about it has my anxiety acting up and I know I’m not the only person with Issues on here#*into detail about The Causing Of The Injury. i am in fact going into detail about the following idiocy and annoyingness that it entails#but cw/tw for like. I’m talking about a minor injury in the form of a small cut/scratch#but basically i fucked around and found out a bit too hard earlier today and now i have like a. shallow cut. scratch. whatever running along#my left middle finger. (also because this is tumblr I will add please note it was not on purpose I was genuinely just being stupid as hell.)#it is relevant that it is specifically my left middle finger. why you may ask? well. i am right handed. so i hold my crochet hook in my#right hand. and as a consequence my yarn in my left. and my yarn runs between. you guessed it. my middle and index fingers. meaning it runs#right above my middle finger knuckle. which. you guessed it. is where my little scratch cut is. and I was AGAIN an idiot so I was not#wearing a bandage. (thought it was fine because it had already kinda scabbed over.) and then i get off my what. 2? 3? hours of crochet and#go to brush my teeth and im like oh wow why is that all irritated. and then im like. OHHHH FUCK I HAD SCRATCHY WOOL YARN RUNNING OVER IT.#so yeah I am adding unscented soap And saline to my shopping list for tomorrow !#and praying to every god on earth and beyond it doesnt get infected#(it probably wont like. ive had cat scratches that were realistically probably worse than this. plus I’m taking vitamin gummies that are#specifically immune system boosting since like a week back because I got tired of getting a bunch of colds so hopefully they will also help#my nice little white blood cells fight off any bacteria here :) )
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hello guys today we will have a calm and composed post
EHEHEHE JK GET TROLLED HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY BEAUTIES I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE HAD TIME TO REST AND ATE CHOCOLATE (or not, if so, then you are very healthy and i admire your ways) (if you want chocolate anyways DONT TELL ANYONE but I've got some right here just for you 🕴🍫🍫)
IF YOU DON'T HAVE A VALENTINE THEN BUCKLE UP TODAY IS "HOTTIES SINGLES" DAY (your day <3)
happy valentines day to all my moots and everyone that reads this/interacts with any of my posts ! you're all amazing and i love you so much and I've never been happier thank you thank you 💕💕💕
@intothegenshinworld @k-zu @lxvebun @maaarshieee @micheya @kamiiyaka
#i wanted to do one of those “ship ur moots” thing but i srsly need to study LMAO I'm having a test tomorrow i think#REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE ALL LOVED#ESPECIALLY BY ME#I'LL ALWAYS BE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW EMERGE#happy valentines day lovelies <3<3<3<3#this post was totally an original idea no one on tumblr has done this i am sure you're all thinking WOW cherry you're so creative i know#thank you#ILY LOTS
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I'm starting to think the behaviors i perceive as annoying are actually just me being delusional about hating my own behavior and thoughts
#I'll see any stupid tumblr positivity post rn and my brain goes Wow i want to stab you with knives Right Now#that in and of itself is fucking stupid why am I feeling like this
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#screaming.#it is i the last of the Top Teague Martin Blogs#j#person who gets on tumblr to post about teague martin 17 hours a day:#WOW TUMBLR HAS ME ON THEIR TOP TEAGUE MARTIN BLOGS LIST THAT'S SO WEIRD LOL#i am also as of right now the only blog displayed in the daudmartin tag#i am holding down the fort i am braver than any us marine i am singlehandedly repopulating the daudmartin ecosystem#anyway#the sc is from a few days ago btw. for no reason
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A lot of the times westerners say aw authorial govts wouldn’t do this shit and me as a Chinese am like. From an authoritarian country yeah like I couldn’t speak for other govts but yeah no my country could be ten times worse . like yeah I get not wanting to further imperialism by having a justification for war but like if America invades China I would join the side of America because China is so done for
#what ten entire years of brainwashing and banning outside information does to a country#mine#I watched my dad get more and more conservative#my mom is a teacher for 30 years and her students get more and more conservative in nationalistic frenzy every 3 years#I often say if we hand Chinese people do a mass suicide I would totally be down for it#han Chinese#because I don’t see like#how could like an entire country of nationalistic mouthpieces for the govt who are brainwashed for ten years#could regain human decency and compassion for the weak#in a culture that historically values hierarchy and admires the leaders#it’s not the result of me being mentally shit#it’s the result of debating a nationalist everyday for the past 5 years (minus the last bc I was in America) and my growing despair knowing#there are tens of hundreds of thousands like him#and he’s only on the milder end#I got lucky through doctor who literally I was like. hm tumblr sounds fun . so I got a vpn and joined tumblr joined Twitter and saw the#outside world#and when I was first on twitter in 2018 I was so sick of Chinese ppl who are anti ccp because I was raised a nationalist now I am one of#them#yeah tldr if we han Chinese ppl do a mass suicide I want to join!! it’s only right#hence why brax is inspirational for me. wow ur raised in a hopeless authoritarian govt around govt praisers and u commit suicide?? multiple#times even?? I want to be like u#suicide tw#aand American communists will take one look at me and say obviously she is brainwashed by the cia bruh I get my news from being Chinese .#I’m not even an immigrant bruh (I wish I am…)#like a lot of non brainwashed Chinese people on twitter say they want to kill themselves v often and it’s just. yeah .#political depression
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Sometimes uni is cool actually ("long live trans people <3")
#leftist uni bathrooms am i right#there's more stuff written on the walls but the rest was small and long#love seeing queer stuff in french too#like! yeah! we exist!!#french side of tumblr#wow i have a ramble tag now
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oooooooh viktor is vanya?
sorry i've only seen two episodes of the umbrella academy & my dash got hit with a bunch of stuff about it since the new season is out and i keep seeing stuff about a viktor and was confused when people referenced stuff he did in the first episodes because i'm over here like, there is no one named viktor guys, what are you on? but the actor is elliot page, and he hadn't come out at that point, so he was playing a woman, but they made that character trans to fit with elliot, right? am i at all right?
#wow kinda surprised i didnt get hate for saying vanya in my earlier posts#if i got anon hate for that i would be so confused bc even now i am still so unsure but its the only thing that makes sense#& it wouldnt be my fault at all for not knowing a character is trans after 2 episodes if i literally only know what i saw and random things#i see on tumblr (none of which had talked about viktor (possibly?) being trans. if i'm right about this. idk what is happening#the umbrella academy#vanya hargreeves#viktor hargreeves
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i've had alcohol so i'm feeling chatty so hello, hi how's it going y'all
but like thoughts right now, every so often just it hits me that i'm actually doing it ... i'm fucking leaving this place
yeah, i'm a decade late since i always said i was gonna get out as soon as i turned 18, but hey, better late than never
i just ... i can't believe that i am actually doing this?? like i told my work that i am leaving, i bought a ferry ticket ... this is actually happening??? i have no clear plan about what i'm doing??? i have no safety net??? i'm just ... leaping out of my comfort zone into the void
and it's just wild man
#i have many thoughts but right now i am just a screaming possum#like wow this is Happening#it's wild man just fuckin wild#this will probably get deleted but idek#i miss making text posts#i miss tumblr being a place i felt comfortable talking
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