#xanxus x squalo

[gelataisa]

Forever obsessed with a 10 years bazooka mishap that bring a tyl xanxus into the present during a party at villa vongola. he is clearly about to have sex (fortunately he only has his shirt open) and has what clearly is a wedding ring on his finger.

everyone is disbelieved and squalo looks like hes about to explode

xanxus is clearly annoyed yet somewhat amused. he probably revels in seeing his father embarassed by his everything. to everyone's surprises he scolds, in this order, the entire tenth gen for not teaching the fucking child anything apparently, and lambo himself for not being more responsible and behaving during an event like that

squalo once again freaks out (VOI!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THAT TURNED YOU LIKE THIS) and the look xanxus gives him is so amused- yet poignant. the most attentive observers could be led to believe that there is also some fondness, yet they disergard the thought immediately

you know fish, theres this thing called 'being almost 40 years old', you might get to hear it some day

squalo's answer is lost in the smoke that appears right after

present xanxus is far less amused and calm upon his return

[hehedraws]

uh hello fellow khr people

[gaysgrave]

Cowboy Squalo

Bonus art below ✨

Squalo definitely likes so lean with his arm around Xanxus

Their outfits

Also link to Cowboy Xanxus

[hehedoesntdrawhere]

high quality xs in 2024 i'll be staring at this everyday

[jjellysoo]

More XS headcanons that no one asked for!!

This is pretty much filler as I work on fics and more serious things, but also I just like talking about these two and will take the excuse lol!

One of Squalo's canonical "likes" is falling asleep again after waking up. This becomes a problem because Xanxus is very warm and a chronic sleepy-pilled snoozemaxxer that will drag Squalo back to bed when he tries to get up in the morning.

No matter the timeline, Xanxus has to make the first move. Squalo (rightfully) will always assume it's unrequited unless he's hit in the head over and over again with a cast iron skillet.

They like to drink together after a long day. Sometimes Squalo will rant about stupid people (read: the Varia officers, the Vongola guardians, Dino) but more often than not it's just comfortable silence or light banter that definitely doesn't run the risk of turning into anything else.

Squalo loves to watch Xanxus fight seriously, however rare it is. He could get high off the thrill of it. It is the single most attractive thing Xanxus can do.

Sometimes women come to Squalo to ask if his Boss is single. He thinks it's kind of funny and not worth stressing over if they can't even ask Xanxus himself.

In contrast, if Squalo gets hit on, the innocent person who tries will get put off by a murderous aura burning holes into their back. Who knows where that's coming from?

Xanxus has a hard time with affection and it takes a lot for him to not dispell it with insults and/or by disengaging. Squalo has his work cut out for him lol

Dear new Varia recuits - if it is past 11pm and you see Captain Squalo go into your Boss' office and not come out, use your Varia Quality survival skills and do not enter!

If Xanxus is 100% certain that Squalo is asleep, he'll listen to his heartbeat. Blah blah blah 398 you already know how we roll around here

The day Levi found out about their relationship he cried tears - not because he's homophobic (he is) but because it is his NIGHTMARE scenario. He respects Xanxus too much to verbally question his decision but this is world-ending news for him.

On the other hand, Lussuria knew all along and was waiting for it to happen, rooting for them since day one. Squalo, prepare for the most invasive, offensive questions you will ever be asked.

I love all interpretations of XS - if you disagree with any of this, that's awesome! I love hearing about new angles that I hadn't thought of before :D

If anyone wants NSFW headcanons let me know <3

[moonlit-mystery-writer]

For Xanxus x Squalo/XS Fans

So I'm writing a fic where Xanxus and Squalo both die, but wake up back in the past. Both never having really confessed to the other and now so used to life with the Varia rather than the lives they have as tweens/young teens decide to basically fast forward the events of their lives. Neither one knows that the other remembers their last life as well and it's going to be pretty headcanon heavy.

But I'm struggling with the first chapter. Under cut I'm going to post the first few paragraphs and I'd love some feedback if anyone is willing.

TW for main character death.

A fight to the death was an honorable way for any assassin, especially a swordsman, to go. Yet Squalo can’t find himself happy about his current situation. He wants to get up and keep fighting, but no part of his body is responding. There’s a dull buzzing in his ears and he can hear the faded yells of his teammates. Maybe they were taunting him with the fact he wasn’t Varia Quality anymore or maybe they were nagging him for getting so hurt yet again or… The worst possibility was the idea they could be begging him to stay with them, crying out in a futile attempt to save his life. He feels unpleasantly chill even when his blurry eyes can vaguely make out Lussuria’s sun flames being pressed against his bleeding wound. Though, through the fading in and out, he can feel a familiar grip on his hair. Xanxus wasn’t yanking it, more holding as much of the Rain flame’s silvery hair in his grasp as he could. The usually loud swordsman wants to laugh, but all that falls from his lips are mostly pathetic puffs of air. The dark haired Sky presses the hair against his face, much like a child hiding behind their security blanket when trying to avoid a cruel reality life is throwing at them. 

Was his boss crying? Was Xanxus really so upset he’s leaving him? At the very least, he can yell loudly with pride in hell that he never failed his promise to his Sky. Even if eternal damnation and torture awaits him the moment he’s finally gone from this life, he can bear it all since in a way, he kept his vow to the man he loves so dear… Squalo’s eyes close slowly as he accepts his fate, vaguely hearing Xanxus’ voice yelling at him though it sounds like the man is trying to yell through water or thick jello. 

“Don’t you go…!...Shitty Shark…!...”

The rest of the dark haired man’s words were unintelligible to him now in this state. Now Squalo simply waits for whatever afterlife awaits him. Being a born and raised Italian, he expects some form of Christianity hell for someone like him. Yet… There’s nothing.

Well, not exactly nothing. He feels warm again, like he’s laying in some luxurious bed. He knows damn well the Varia has never had enough money to blow on fancy sheets and blankets and memory foam filled mattresses. Not to mention the Rain flame is also pretty damn sure there’s no way his team could’ve revived him unless they let him become some Vindice like zombie.

“Hey, get up, lei!”

A grating, young girl's voice yells at him. He was painfully familiar with the owner of said voice, his shitty little sister Delfino. Last he’d talked to her, she was the Cavallone Famiglia’s Rain Guardian and she didn’t sound so child-like. The swordsman opens his blue-grey eyes slowly and looks around. The room he was in was his childhood bedroom… For a moment he’d assume he’s some weird heaven until he makes eye contact with his sister.

“The fuck to do you want, voi?!”

Squalo snaps at her, making Delfino gasp and flinch a little.

“Lei!! Fine if you want to be late for school I don’t care!!”

School?! He’s a grown man-... Squalo quickly gets up and looks at himself in the mirror, horror dawning on him as he finds his 12 year old self staring back at him. So that makes Delfino only 10 which explains her sounding and looking so young… This also explains the school comment. 

[johannepetereric]

"Man, nobody can keep the boss down when Squalo's out."

[bloodyspade0000]

Xanxus headcanos

( I think about alot. Mostly based off my one shot collection don't let me dream alone)

---

• Xanxus has a shitty immune system and gets sick a lot

• He's touch straved

• Definitely sleep deprived

• He's Squalo's bitch (lol, jk. But not really 🤣?)

• Xanxus is a picky eater (this is literally canon) and also has issues with food

• He's secertly a soft boi and only Squalo knows (because duh it's Squalo)

• He's an introvert and prefers to spend time alone (sometimes with Squalo)

• He's got anxiety (lol, I'm definitely not self-projecting)

• Xanxus gets agitated if he doesn't have anything to do or stays still even for a while. It gives him zero point breakthrough flash backs.

• Probably has ptsd (like definitely from what he's gone through)

• Xanxus is emotionaly constipated and can't express his feelings properly. So, he just expressess it with violence or he's an akward grumpy mess trying to talk about feelings

• When he can't sleep, he often goes to Squalo's room.

• He's a power bottom (but also very needy and Squalo's always happy to oblige.)

• Xanxus can be clingy (but only while super sick or after a bad day or nightmare.)

• He needs alot of affection and reminders that everything's gonna be okay

• Xanxus is like a cat (a very grumpy cat)

• He has trust issues (obviously)

• Xanxus sucks at taking care of himself and has to be forced to rest

• He can't stand the cold and gets migraines every winter

• Xanxus is always in pain but is so use to it he doesn't feel it and won't know he's injured until he's passing out from blood loss or someone points it out or it gets worse

• He's immortal (anime logic aside. No one can survive being sealed up for eight years and the sky ring's rejection.)

• Him and Squalo secertly have a shotgun wedding after the ring battles in mafia land (the only people that were invited were Dino and Xanxus' guardians)

• Xanxus goes to Lussuria for advice (mostly cause Lussuria is the mom of varia and is the only one who gives good advice without needing to pay a fee and doesn't suggest murder as a soultion)

• Xanxus eventually accepts Tsuna as decimo (and teaches him to be less naive)

• Xanxus watches baby cartoons ( he never got to watch them as a kid and they give him comfort when Squalo’s not around. Though he'll deny it until the day he dies.)

• Xanxus wants Timoteo to love him or at least treat him more like a person instead of a tool to be used and discarded

• Xanxus genuinely needs time to grieve (the deaths of his adoptive bothers and the eight years that were stolen from him)

• Timoteo & his guardians don't take the varia seriously (and treat Xanxus like trash) .

• Zero Point Breakthrough screwed with Xanxus' sense of direction so his guardians put a tracker on him (definitely wasn't happy to find out)

[tengenerationsofclams]

È così caloroso… / He’s so warm…

I have a lot of thoughts about freshly-thawed Xanxus.

(I’ve since lost the reference I traced this pose from, and who knows if I’ll ever finish it, but I wanted to share anyway!)

[what-the-fuck-khr]

hiiii @unwrathful specifically said they’d use Varia for wallpaper purposes so bc my little square was kinda shit quality I felt like I’d go and upscale them and shit a bit better her you go for all your Varia needs

edit: this… WAS better quality but…… if you need it please ask me I hate this website for ruining my hard work

[who1ssheesh]

If you're still doing it I can't wait to see the prompt with squalos s/o being buds with Xanxus 😂

Squalo's S/O being buds with Xanxus

Pairings: Squalo/Reader, Xanxus/Reaser (PLATONIC)

Notes: yes. absolutely. i live for those two idiots. This one is long af compared to Xanxus' one and I can't explain why. But I had so much fun with this, Xanxus is a soulmate in a bro-ish way????

Warnings: good ol swearing, brief mentions of sex (not much really), probably OOC and terrible english (ur not my teacher ha ha)

• First of all, holy shit that’s impressive?

• Second of all, must be mentioned that Xanxus kinda….doesn't see women as friends? He looks at them sexually right away. Or so he thought

• Third of all, Squalo gotta be terrified

• Fourth of all (that's a lot of counting) Squalo situation is not having any drama as Xanxus' does, he is a pure comedy gold and so is his relationship with you. That's what no daddy issues does to you, but what do i know

• Not comedy as if a clown comedy, but a good harsh bri'ish comedy - insert Utopia reference. Squalo is more than confident in you since you obviously date for some time for him to move in with you and therefore reveal you to his boss.

• I'll tell you a secret btw, Xanxus probably guessed he has you because Squalo is a loser cuck and started to act differently.

• I think Xanxus doesn’t give a shit enough to just bust into Squalo’s apartment for any stupid reason as if it’s his own. So if you at least haven’t heard of him as your boyfriend’s boss, you’re going to meet him in person

• Xanxus coming up and breaking your door just to nap:

🧍

• Squalo never told Xanxus where he lives, that bitch just knows

• Never in his life Xanxus expected to see one day a shmoll girl there and not hear screaming at the top of one’s lungs. He still says Squalo is a fucking virgin loser femboy ugly ass haha lol lmao, he can’t be deprived of those shitty jokes…

• I mean it, Xanxus can get pissed seeing you too being lovey-dovey but I'll expand this drama later

• Xanxus is basically your adopted stray cat, deal with it

• Squalo won't say this out loud or says this very...covertly and probably insults you along the way, but anyways he really appreciate you dealing with all that bullshit. He does indeed value strong character - you don't need to wield a big sword or shoot a gun, but going through his path even though you can be confused or scared means much. He knows a lot of cowards who can shoot a gun, so...Squalo looks much deeper than that. Shark, ocean, DEEP, get it<<<<<<</////??????? I'll see myself out.

• He is lowkey terrified but...also chill? Unlike Xanxus, he doesn't overthink (at least not much). He of course draws a line at some things - at first Squalo was really mad at his boss staying...alone....with you....at you house (he is jealous) cause Xanxus is immoral bitch and would try to fuck you if he wants to.

• Also is you start gossiping or making fun of him with Xanxus, holy shit Squalo is quick to start raging. It's one thing to gossip and laughing at some bud, but doing so about your partner is a huge red flag for him. If you have any problems. come straight to Squalo he is an adult and prefers just discussing problems.

• Well, Xanxus also will certainly not respect you for trying to spill out your bullshit on him and talking shit about his captain. He has standards. (And not because he is a little uwu girl and actually deep DEEP like ocean bottom deep cares about Squalo)

• “The fuck happened here?”, Squalo is on edge, to say the least, seeing stains of blood around the apartment and you cleaning it with a clearly annoyed expression

“So your boss-“

“My boss?!”

“-got over again”

“AGAIN???”

• So, the situation: Squalo, as a person who values trust in relationship the most, is really pissed (sad….) you’re keeping the truth away from him, and you, thinking he’s aware his boss is chilling around since…..well, Superbia is his right hand, makes sense?

• You didn’t know about their burning hate for each other. Gotta be jealous, his love to you will never be as true, fiery and emotional as his undying HATE!!!! for Xanxus

• You screaming “get a fucking room, deepshits” when they start arguing again

• You probably got Xanxus with an insult. Obviously. Sorry, you’ve signed a pact, nothing in your life will be normal again, just like your boyfriend (he’s a little unstable. Just a little)

• Xanxus haven’t been around your house for long - leaving more work for Superbia and leaving right after, quickly patching a quick wound and stealing alcohol, of course

• You’ve been quieter than a mouse, thinking you shouldn’t be involved in Squalo’s business, but one day Xanxus was noticeably not feeling good, ready to pass out, so…you helped him obviously

• Xanxus being Xanxus didn’t thank you, got pissed because air was too warm for his liking or smth and was whining that actually you did a poor job tending his wound

• “Bitch, I will kill you in your sleep?” sent him away, he honestly found this hilarious (we’re talking about your audacity here)

• You got a chuckle out of him, whick you didn't think about much at first, but a Squalo's shocked expression said everything. You can be proud

• Lowkey Xanxus doesn't separate you two together in his mind, you both are a one Superbia homunculus in his mind. Maybe that's why Xanxus with Squalo's s/o feels so....included for all three of you compared to other way around lol

• Even your jokes are on the same line istg

• Xanxus feels even...bittersweet.

• He is...kinda cautious? He knows Squalo is capable of getting out from the devil himself (remember how may times he "died" in manga lol), but you...well...he double checks every visit. Xanxus is very brutal and, unbothered and nonchalant but very smart. Makes sure no one is on his tail.

• Don't get me wrong, it's not in a sweet family way, but you kinda start having dinners together? Both are bitching around but you notice in the end they start having a human conversation instead of their regular unga-bunga

• Xanxus likes this

• Xanxus feels home

• Unlike Squalo, he can't show his devotion to save his life, so you just know there is a "useful friend of a friend that can solve some problems with a call". But I'll tell you, Xanxus will double-check if something is serious, not just throw problems as subordinates.

• Mafia is not flowers and sunshine. Those two have had a conversation "what to do if Squalo dies". Xanxus probably threw a glass at him and said to not be an idiot, but he didn't say no. You're the first person he can call at least an acquaintance, so...

• Well, that counts when we talk about older Xanxus, I'm sure he is mellowed out by that time (+ just enough time for you and Squalo to establish your relationship)

• He's not the type to get over at 2am if there's a problem lol. Maybe he can miss a call cause he's a heavy sleeper. But if anything, you have his subordinates at your place.

• He will teach you to drink. Will laugh his ass off when you fail to beat his ass at drinking competition again and Squalo is having a heart stroke on the background

• Xanxus will turn you in a copy of himself just to piss ofs Squalo lol

• You learning his mood by the intonation he says 'trash'

• Also you calling him janitor or sum in return. Varia horrified you dare to do this, and Xanxus laughing. He still shoots your way though...

• If you're not Italian, you MUST teach him swearing on your native language. Also tell him if there is any local alcohol (of course)

• "Yeah, I teached him coupla words", you laugh, looking obviously happy being a useful friend and having a surprisingly cozy chat with Xanxus.

Squalo is very confused by that. "What the fuck, but he DOES know this language already?"

• I'm sorry but so many sex jokes. Xanxus doesn't give a shit what you do there in the bedroom (until you invite him over ahaha joke unless), but he's going to be a little shit

• Xanxus is 12 yo btw.

• "Can you suck him off so he shuts the fuck up or smth?"

• LITERALLY LOOKING AT SQUALO "NO BITCHES????"

• This idiot fools around sometimes and throws 9-yo-school-bully insults lol

• "He said he wants to marry /insert random woman name/ when he grows up". 25+ y/o Squalo looking at him just:

🧍

• I hope you two have a cat. Xanxus will feed it. Raw meat and everything a fluffy boy shouldn't but it's Xanxus we're talking about. Literally a teenage edgy teen "ITS NOT A PHASE MOM" at your house.

• Naps on your bed ONLY to leave hiss smell of tabaco, whiskey and a heavy cologne. He 100% heehaws thinking about this - Squalo will NEVER be able to have sex if there is reminding him of Xanxus, like an instant turn off. You always try to complain to Xanxus about this absurd situation but start laughing to the point of crying, Xanxus becomes HYSTERICAL at these moments.

• He will teach you how to shoot. Usually he just drinks there and says you're pathetic while you try. But he keeps inviting you himself, so....Xanxus is a little sappy shit. You only use Squalo's photos as a target, so you get sad a bit and probably tell your boyfriend afterwards. He will say he wants to kill you both or smth.

• Xanxus bringing you ideas in your bed. "Hey so you can tie him up and beat to death as a foreplay".

• He will make you rank up bodies of other women he finds hot. Also if you're a girls' girl, Xanxus will ruin this completely. Basically like "just by looking at her tell be if she's a bitch"

• Xanxus enjoys if you talk shit about someone cause he is the same way.

• He will drag you into his shitty gang ideas. If Squalo could go gray-headed again, he would.

• Squalo looking at you both beaten up anf almost getting caught by the police: "why are you like this."

• To be honest, you may be having a serious talk with your man. Squalo is unironically worried, he did a LOT to keep you away from mafia but here you are. If you are very good at convincing (20 CHA lol), he can just a little bit become convinced that you getting hardened can be useful for mafia life "just in case".

• Also MAYBE he can notice the influence Xanxus has on you. Feminine clothes change to leather jackets and grunge, your knuckles even being bloody way too often, you may be smoking more frequently. Squalo is kind of chill with you finding you identity, but if you start wearing feathers in your hair HE LOOSES HIS MIND

• Xanxus will personally train you, if you ever discover your flame. They will have a fight about this with Squalo.

• Xanxus is proud of you tho. One day he will say this, I'm sure

• People know your bond, they know he does appreciate your opinion even in Varia business, and even anything happened he knows Varia is in the right hand - Squalo is more than competent and there is a little angry copy of himself so Xanxus' spirit always haunts Vongola till the end of time. hehe

• You are a badass little sis. He has never had a family, but that...feels nice.

[rebornologist]

Hi! I read your KHR works on your tumblr and it’s so good !! Can I have a request for Xanxus and Squalo (separately) nsfw headcanon — if their s/o want to help them relax (in sex) and initiate??

It’s alright if you’re not comfortable for writing this tho. Please take your time and have a good day!!

warnings: mentions of sex and feat. established relationships, but nothing really that graphic or alarming (surprisingly, but these are just some headcanons so ig it checks)

♡ For Squalo, chances are that his S/O is the person who initiates more often than him. The reason that he isn’t the one propositioning is because he’s often tired after a long day at work and sex isn’t the number one thing on his mind. That can be changed, quite easily, might I add. I’ve said before that his ego is huge and it takes just a little stroking before he’s absolutely wrapped around your finger and letting you stroke something else of his.

He’s open to his partner taking the lead, and especially loves a good soak in the bath with them that turns a little more slippery. It’s not something that happens every time they bathe together, but he knows when his partner has that in mind for them when they join him with a knowing smirk and a certain look in their eyes.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊

♡ With Xanxus, it can go either way. If he’s in a bad mood, it’s more difficult to change his mind and suggest that he expel his anger with some action (I fear you would not want to bear the brunt of his annoyance, anyway). But in the case that he’s in a good mood, he’s even easier to charm into the bedroom.. or on top of his office table… or under the luxury waterfall shower… or… you get the picture.

Xanxus would have to be in a very good mood to let his partner take the lead in any way. You know the quote, “everything is about sex, but sex is about power”? That’s what comes to mind with him. He’s adamant about liking sex his way, and doesn’t have the curiosity or patience to put up with exploring too much outside of his comfort zone. On the flip side, he’s not difficult to please… kind of. I think his partner would just have to have quite a bit of stamina, because that guy fucks… He’s quite animalistic, almost shameless in his approach and always ends up in situations that are very heated.. and messy… and noisy.

He would greatly appreciate an invitation from his partner for him to lie back and let them ride him, granted he still is given free reign to grip them roughly by the hips or grope their ass and run his thick fingers up the column of their throat and around to the back of their neck, controlling the pace from under them. Even if you did intend to do most of the work, there’s not a lot of control that he is willing to give up. Regardless, he appreciates the gesture and begins to expect it from time to time, since it reassures him of your interest in him. He’s a confident and powerful man, but there’s a deep-seated insecurity that he’s slowly been tending to and healing from via the respect and loyalty of the people who stick by him.

accidentally forgor to insert a cut.. oops

[hehedraws]

hi who's up for xs angst

(song is "still beating" by mac demarco and also this is based on a fic i wrote)

[kinbari14]

Anya is ready for battle

[hehedoesntdrawhere]

some XS text posts that no one asked for cuz the brainrot is crazy

[jjellysoo]

what are your headcanons for xs? im starving for content too sksld so i wanna know your thoughts/headcanons on them!

Hi, thank you for the ask!! >:)

Not many general headcanons make it into my work because I tend to write about specific concepts, so this was fun!

I love all interpretations of the XS timeline, but I don't think they were together during the story's canon. Post-canon and I can see an argument for the TYL arc. Extremely dubious on anything pre-cradle affair.

Xanxus is absolutely the jealous type, but he won't address it in a practical way. He's known to cling to his possessions, right?

On that note - Dino, count your days.

Xanxus is very much into Squalo's hair. If he can touch it, he will, whether that's a pleasant touch or not.

Besta likes Squalo the most after Xanxus himself, and will try to smother him and kiss him, which Xanxus ignores like he's getting paid for it.

It's a private relationship, for several reasons. Not many people know about it, and if they do, they're not going to comment on it lest they want to part ways with their face.

Except for Luss, of course, who bombards Squalo with dumb questions when they have downtime, none of which are answered. That 101 battles was ROUGH.

No pet names other than the usual insults that probablyyy count as pet names. But don't tell them I said that.

Xanxus runs warm because of his flame (why he can run around half shirtless), and Squalo runs cold (why he wears fur and coats and earmuffs all the time!) The ideal temperature equilibrium for cuddling.

This is canon, but Xanxus is overall calmer when Squalo is around HQ.

Squalo finds Xanxus' scars attractive as they relate to his rage, but he wouldn't mention it because of the sore topic. If Xanxus ever lost control over his scars in a sexual context, well....

Squalo has had feelings for Xanxus since the beginning. He must've been pretty convinced things were going to work out, huh? When you know you know etc. etc.

Xanxus has some Avengers level threat internalized homophobia. His whole complex is over being heir to the Vongola, and part of that role is having a family and children, so being with a man would be really hard for him to comes to terms with. Also, the stereotypes of gay men that he'd be acquainted with go against the persona he's made for himself.

In effect, it's really hard for him to be openly affectionate. Queue glass throwing and hair pulling.

SAME TANGENT because I see this way too much but these two could not be a casual FWB situation given Xanxus' complex.

Okay so this is based on the inheritance ceremony where Timoteo is a little bitch to Squalo for no reason. THOSE TWO BEEF LIKE CRAZY IN THE MOST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE "IN LAWS" WAY POSSIBLE. Squalo obviously dislikes him because he ruined Xanxus' life and is dismissive of the Varia as a whole, Timoteo dislikes him because he thinks he's trying to get with his son and go against what a right hand man is supposed to be.

If there's one thing that's going to fluster (fluster!?) Varia Captain and Sword Emperor Superbia Squalo, it's going to be Xanxus. Squalo never expected to get this far, so when he spends his life in respectful admiration and is suddenly getting bombarded with what would otherwise be normal couple behavior, he doesn't know what to do.

Xanxus pretends to be unaware of the effect he has, but definitely knows and extorts it because it's cute

I'm not kidding when I say I have more than this, but that's where I'm cutting it off for today. Hope this feeds you well enough, for now, anon! :D