#y’all know my weird fixation on grief yeah?

[trashbatistrash]

,

[amelialincoln]

Could you please do a cute family trip to the beach like a babymoon but with scout or something like that?

Hotel California 

“Give it to me.” Link stuck an outstretched palm into her sight of vision. Amelia pulled back as he tried to snatch the phone as a result of not receiving a reply.

“It’s Tom, this patient is critical. He asked for advice.” Amelia leaned away from her frustrated husband.

“Okay, and I’m sure Tom is completely capable of handling it on his own.” Link finally grabbed the phone from her hands, glancing at their conversation. “You’re unbelievable. He didn’t even text you, you were just being controlling and asking for updates.”

“It’s my patient! He should be sending me scans and keeping me informed.”

“Uh no...he should be doing the opposite of that because that’s what I asked him to do.” Link rolled his eyes and leaned back on the beach lounger. “Let it go, Amelia.” She sighed, looking out onto the beach and fixating on Scout who was building a sandcastle a couple meters away.

“He should have sun--”

“I’ve applied it twice in the time that you’ve been obsessing over your phone,” Link teased. “I thought this babymoon was going to destress you but maybe we just should’ve stayed home.” Amelia grinned at him as he beckoned for her to join him on his chair. She interlaced her fingers around the bottom of her bump and slowly moved to sit in his lap. “Man, you’re huge.” Link faked a struggle as she laid back on his chest.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “You're giving your seven month pregnant wife a little too much grief today.”

“Almost eight,” he ran a couple of kisses along her neck as clipped the salty curls out of her face that were getting tangled in the warm breeze. “Did you take your BP this morning?”

“Link,” Amelia groaned. “Can we just relax about everything for a bit?”

“You’re the one checking your phone constantly. The whole reason we’re taking time off from work is to try and get it down.”

“Don’t worry, Carina has made that very clear.” Amelia awkwardly crossed her arms over her swollen stomach and pouted. “It’s weird, I never had a single blood pressure issue with Scout.”

“Probably because you weren’t chasing around a two year old while working full time at the same time as growing a baby.”

“I don’t want to have the conversation about working less again. Mer works full time and she has three kids.”

“Fine,” Link sighed, running a hand through his shaggy hair. “I just want you both to be healthy.” He wrapped his arms around her abdomen, providing a bit of relief by pulling up a bit. “I don’t know how you carry this around all day,” he laughed.

“I haven’t moved from this seat in the last three days,” she leant her head back to meet his eyes. Link didn’t have Amelia’s naturally tanned skin and had gotten quite the sunburn on the first day. It had gotten better but his cheeks were still tainted crimson. Link grinned as her deep, blue eyes stared up at him and pressed a lingering kiss to her swollen lips. 

“Maybe we should move to California. I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a bikini all day.”

“Been there done that,” she laughed. “Addie would probably melt if we told her that she could actually see her godson on the daily.” 

“Jake’s a nice guy. I wouldn’t mind having them around often,” Link mused, glancing at Scout and giving him a wave.

“Dadda! I made a hospital in the sand!” Scout hollered. “For you and Mommy!”

“Good job, bud!” Link shouted back, shaking his head with amusement. “That boy is your son through and through.” Amelia grinned as she glanced at Scout, who was resembling her brother more and more every day.

“Does it bother you?” She teased.

“Not at all. The next one’s gonna be all me.” He soothed a couple of kicks that were beginning to flutter over her bladder.

“I need to get up and walk around or she’s going to get restless,” Amelia sighed, placing a hand over his. “This one is going to be hyperactive for sure.” Link ginned, nodding and picked up the newspaper beside him as Amelia put on a straw hat and sunglasses and strolled over to their son.

“Hi Mama,” Scout babbled, handing her a shell. “I finded this for you.”

“Thanks, baby,” Amelia smiled, opening her palm towards him. “We can add it to the collection.” Scout had insisted on giving Amelia almost every shell he’d found on the beach. The “collection” consisted of almost a hundred pieces of shells, barnacles and sea glass at this point. “Can we go see auntie Addie again tonight?” Scout asked absentmindedly, digging a hole with his pudgy hands.

“No bud, we’re going to visit Charlotte and Cooper this evening. We’ll see your auntie tomorrow though.” Scout let out a large sigh but nodded.

“Okay.”

                                                         [][][]

“Aw, look at ya!” Charlotte’s outstretched arms greeted the family from the doorway. “Come here.” She pulled Amelia into a gentle hug before kneeling down to Scout’s height and ruffling his dark brown curls. “Hey, mister. Want a popsicle?”

“Charlotte, you’ll ruin his dinner,” Amelia groaned but Scout was already squealing happily as Georgia led him into the kitchen.

“Look at you acting all motherly. I remember you basically smuggling Mason candy every time he came to the practice.”

“Is he here tonight?” Amelia asked.

“Nope, he went with Coop on the trip. They feel bad about not being able to see ya but we had no idea you were even coming.” 

“Our bad. It was all very last minute,” Link replied, breathlessly leaning over to give Charlotte an awkward hug while juggling a couple platters of appetizers.

“I wanted to help him bring stuff in.” Amelia rolled her eyes. “Apparently, I’m too fragile.”

“Fragile and Amelia Shepherd aren’t two words I would put together in a sentence often,” Charlotte joked, welcoming the couple into the entryway. “Addison mentioned that y’all were having a bit of a struggle with this pregnancy.”

“Oh, of course she did,” Amelia eyed Link with exasperation. “I’m fine, everyone’s been making such a big deal.” She grabbed one of the plates from Link’s hands spitefully and practically marched into the kitchen. 

“Well, isn’t she just a ball of delight,” Charlotte chuckled. “Come on in, Link. It’s nice to see you.”

                                                         [][][]

Saying their goodbyes was hard as always. Amelia would do anything to try and convince Charlotte to come work at Grey Sloan and Charlotte would do anything to try and get Amelia to move back to California. Finally Scout’s grumpiness, as a result of his bedtime passing, meant that the couple had to leave and Amelia’s poor attempt to hold back tears failed as they finally got into the car.

“Hormones.” Both Link and Amelia said in sync as they met each other's gaze. Amelia craned her neck to peer back at Scout who was fast asleep in his carseat, soft snores coming from his mouth. They pulled into their hotel as the sun disappeared from the horizon. Amelia went to pull Scout out of his carseat out of habit before Link tugged her aside and picked their sleeping son up into his own arms.

“You got the hotel key?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she replied with a yawn.

“Tired, babe?” Link turned to glance back at his wife, who was waddling slowly behind him and tried to hide his amusement. Amelia nodded, catching up to him as Link slowed down. “Sounds like it's bedtime for everyone.”

“Apparently not,” Amelia groaned, rubbing the underside of her belly as the familiar flutters started back up again, receiving a sympathetic look from Link as she unlocked their hotel room. Link placed Scout carefully on the hotel’s king sized bed without a sound and began to fish through their suitcase. “His pjs are in my bag. I wasn’t sure if we were going to put him down at Charlotte’s or not.” She took off the heels that she heavily regretted wearing and rubbed her swollen feet.

“Probably would’ve been smart. Poor guy is exhausted.”

“We can sleep in. Flight’s not until one,” Amelia responded softly, brushing her son’s hair out of his face. Scout didn't even flinch, dead asleep.

“She still kicking?”

“Not as much anymore.” Amelia ghosted a hand over her abdomen. “Had me worried for a sec.”

“Don’t jinx it.” Link grinned, finally finding Scout’s pjs in Amelia’s bag and throwing them at her.

“No kidding.” She pulled their son’s popsicle covered t-shirt off and motioned for Link to run it under water in the sink before taking off the rest. Link came to sit beside her as she finished buttoning up Scout’s dinosaur onesie and rubbed her back gently.

“Can I take your BP now?”

“Link, I just want to go to bed,” Amelia sighed, leaning into his touch and closing her eyes.

“I know, babe. It’ll just take a second.” He grabbed the portable monitor from his suitcase and secured the strap around her arm. Link watched the screen intently as the strap inflated and began to deflate before the final number came up on the screen. “One twenty-nine over eighty.” He bit his nail, glancing up at her. “I mean it’s a bit better.” Amelia looked away, shaking her arm out of the band and trudged into the bathroom. “Amelia,” Link sighed, following her and waiting as she splashed water on her face before picking up her toothbrush.

“One twenty-nine over eighty is crap,” she mumbled, through a mouthful of toothpaste. “This whole thing is stupid. The more that people freak me out about numbers and bad outcome statistics and birth plans the more I get stressed.”

“Who’s talking to you about bad outcome statistics?” Link demanded with a hint of anger in his usually calm voice.

“Addie.” Amelia spat in the sink. “She’s worried about placental abruption. She thinks our best bet is C-section.”

“Okay, well Addie is not our doctor. Carina said that as long as we monitor you closely, a natural birth is completely safe.” Amelia shrugged, turning back into their bedroom. “I thought that’s what you wanted?”

“I want our baby to be safe,” Amelia affirmed. “I think Addie should do it.”

“Carina is perfectly capable of delivering. She’s been through this with us the entire time. She knows your condition better than anyone and Scout turned out okay,” Link pressed, watching Amelia trace a protective hand along her bump absentmindedly. She glanced up at him, seeming to give into exhaustion.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” She begged.

“Yeah.” Link nodded, giving in to his tired wife. “Of course we can. Let’s get you to bed.” He unbuttoned her dark blue dress that complimented her eyes perfectly and unclasped her bra before handing her one of his oversized t-shirts.

“My boobs are huge,” she complained, crawling into bed.

“I know. You were in a swimsuit with me all day,” he teased, undressing until he was in his boxers and slipping into bed beside her. “Hey,” he chuckled, as he received a pathetic slap from a pillow. “I wasn’t complaining.”

“My pregnancy with Scout was so easy.” She shook her head, trying to think back to if her ankles were the size of grapefruits back then.

“You were probably just distracted by all the drama,” Link joked. “I remember some good complaints. The braxton hicks were bad.”

“I don’t have anything to compare those to yet,” Amelia nuzzled her head into Scout’s who was lying fast asleep in between the couple and yawned.

“Go to sleep,” Link’s hand found her hair and he ran his fingers along her scalp gently. “My babies all need rest.” Amelia nodded, slowly nodding off to the soothing effect of Link’s fingertips and the crashing of the waves from outside their hotel room.

[damn-stark]

Crossed Stars Ch.8

Star Wars x Marvel

A/N- I know that after the time jump, Steve mentions his girl Peggy, but for angst reasons he will not do so in this series....anyway I hoped you all liked it!! I love how this chapter turned out, so let me know y’all thought!!

Warning- ANGST, slight swearing, LOONG CHAPTER

Pairing- Poe Dameron x reader, Steve Rogers x reader

Takes place during- The beginning Endgame!

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

(5 YEARS LATER)

“You did the hardest part. You took the jump. You didn’t know where you were going to come down.” Steve turned to you, a faint smile playing at the corner of his lips while he grabbed your hand to interlace it with his own to continue what he was saying to the group.

“For my girlfriend and I it was hard. For the both us, but we both learned to take those baby steps forward, together and alone.” You look to the group and share a quick nod in agreement to Steve’s words, sharing your own in a soft and understanding way.

“And that’s it, that’s those little brave baby steps we gotta take to try and become whole again, try and find purpose.” You look to Steve and give him his turn to speak, said man’s gaze fixated on the floor for a moment of hesitation before he recovered and spoke.

“I went in the ice in ‘45 right after I...lost my best friend. Woke up seventy years later,” their was a brief pause in his sentence, shrugging before he continued, “you gotta move on. Gotta move on.”

It was hard to miss the hesitation in his voice. Maybe as someone who didn’t know him personally it was just an encouraging choice of words, but for you, after dating him for four years (almost 5) you could hear. And maybe, perhaps after five years of working so hard to do that, to feel as if these groups or just self work and growth worked, part of you still didn’t move on. Their was always going to be a part of you that was never going to move on from that grief.

Who would? Watching the people you loved disappear before your eyes would haunt anyone.

The positive thing that you did feel was that Steve was there to help, he was always there to help and he did help you somewhat move on. Their was some small part of you that did think you could move on with him. Maybe even become something more significant. But their was also part of you that couldn’t move on from...Poe. Especially as of late. With those stupid feelings resurfacing. Stupid.

“The world is in our hands, it’s left to us guys. And we gotta do something with it.” A tear manages to roll down your cheek at the sound of Steve’s words, said man noticing and giving your hand a comforting squeeze as he continued. “Otherwise...Thanos should’ve killed all of us.”

—

“How was today?” Steve asks as he stops the car in front of the compound.

You place a strand of hair behind your ear and give him a small nod, “very motivational. Like always. You’ve just gotta a way with words.” You giggle, placing your hand behind his neck to rub small circles at the sides, “I loved it. Really. You coming in today?”

Steve nods his head in agreement and unbuckled his seatbelt all the while, “yeah I’m going to say hi to Natasha, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her.”

“How about we go out and eat to those sandwiches you both like. We can invite Poe too?” You suggest with a more excited grin.

“Sure sounds like a plan.” He moves forward and presses a soft kiss on your lips, staying close to say, “thank you for coming today. It really means a lot that you do.”

“We’re both doing this together.” You caress his cheek before pulling back to exit the car at the same time he did, “Natasha should be in the office, you ask her and I’ll ask Dameron.” Before you could even hear his answer you walk into the compound, immediately being welcomed by Artoo. “Your favorite person has returned rust bucket.”

Artoo responds with the same sass, making your eyes roll in a lighthearted way before rubbing the top of his head and asking him a question, “is Poe around?” The droid beeps in agreement before he gave away the pilots location, letting you rush upstairs to find his room with the door cracked open.

You lightly knock and wait for him to answer or come to the door. After a couple of minutes of waiting you sigh and knock again, causing Artoo to beep at you encouraging you inside without an answer. Something you quickly denied, “he could be...indecent in there, I don’t know, maybe he has his...friend there.” Artoo sass’s you in return, all something you now ignored. What was the point to argue with that droid, you would go nowhere.

Again and trying one last time you knock, but this time the door swings open revealing the curly headed pilot, a grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes plastered on his face. “Hi, you back already? I thought you would be out longer.” He leans his shoulder on his doors frame to try and cover whatever or whoever was inside. A gesture you found quite weird, something that also made you notice his quick and heavy breaths.

Ignoring that you shrug and answer his question, “nope, Steve brought me home earlier today.” You clasp your hands together and briefly glance to the ground, now noticing that this is the longest he has stayed in the same room, or same space in the past couple of days.

Actions that started after your lunch together, where completely out of nowhere his behavior changed to what it was a month ago. Weird and distant. Maybe it was his friend Kacy or maybe he realized something more like you had after that stupid double date....who knows? He never told you anything anymore.

“You busy?”

Poe scratched the bag of his head while his smile faltered and he began to stammer. “I..uh...I”

“If you are it’s okay.”

“No I’m not....Whats up?” He stayed glued to the doorframe, moving to block your peripheral view when he noticed you try and peek inside.

“You’re acting weird Dameron...you sure you’re not busy?” You probe again.

He chuckles nervously, “no no I’m not. What’s up?”

BB8 rolls up behind him, his little head peeking behind at the side of his leg, a series of happy chirps at the sight of Artoo and you, all before he urged you inside. “At least someone here has manners.” You taunt pushing beside Dameron to just get stopped by said man as he grabbed your elbow.

“Hey, wait,” he paused for a long moment, his eyes locking on yours, just making your heart begin to beat wildly in your chest and stay glued to the same spot without urging him to move away. Almost feeling like your limbs were frozen, only letting your eyes follow his line of sight go to your hand for a quick moment, not knowing you had caught on, “I—you know what forget it, it’s nothing.”

He let your arm go and tried to have your conversation in that spot, still stubbornly refusing you to go in until BB8 once again urged you inside “are you guys hiding something? Or what’s up? You guys are being weird.” This time you successfully got past Poe and walked inside his room, noticing how blank it was—his walls weren’t filled before but he had some stuff pinned, like pictures, or he had his guitar case leaning in a corner, jackets or shirts thrown on his chair, and a little space for BB8. But now he had nothing, not even clothes hung inside his closet.

“You remodeling or something?” You asked nervously.

Poe sighed deeply, whispering something under his breath you didn’t catch. His hands running through his curls before he dropped them at his side, his lips parting to explain but getting cut off when you noticed an envelope with your name on it.

“Y/N, wait.”

You smirk and take the envelope, waving it to taunt him, “you write me your deepest darkest secret?” Poe tries to snatch the envelop, but you’re quick and swerve his action.

“Don’t y/n. Please don’t.”

Carefully you swipe your finger under the flap to tear it open, slowly poking your fingers inside to pull out what seemed to be a letter, a deep and shaky exhale heard from him before he tried to once again snatch the letter but coming out unsuccessful.

You unfold the letter and grin as you read the top out-loud, “Dear Y/n, I...” Your smile completely drops as your eyes scan the next few words, tears already brimming your eyes, making Poe curse under his breath and try and take the letter one last time, but it turning out as before, with you moving out of the way and read said letter to yourself instead.

Dear y/n,

I didn’t want to say goodbye like this or at all actually, but it’s time I do. After five years of watching you better yourself and be in a happy relationship with Steve I can’t stay anymore. You just don’t need me and I’m okay with that, you’re okay with that. You’re happy and that makes me happy, and yes it’s true I wish we would have been something more. I’ve been wanting that for years, but you know I’m willingly to give that up because you’re happy, because I’d rather let you go than lose you.

I love you and if you’re happy with someone else then what can I do? I hope you have the life you always wanted, I hope you stay happy forever because you deserve nothing less. And I would write more. A lot more, but I’m afraid if I do this would be too long so I’m okay with writing this. Anyhow I know you’ll understand my choice to leave and I hope you’re not mad because of it. I’ll always be a fly away, or a call away. I love you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.

Goodbye sweetheart.

Poe

Tears land on the shaking paper in your hand, pulling your eyes up to meet Poe’s apologetic look, his hands already going to grab your own before you pulled away and continued to glare at him. Your mind trying to come up with one single response, something so hard with millions things coming up, all things you wanted to say.

“Y/N—”

“You’re leaving?” You tried to disguise your voice to make it sound angry but it came out hurt with a soft crack as tears you couldn’t control fell, “you were going to leave without an explanation? You were going to leave while I was gone?!”

Poe moved forward, his hands trying to cup your cheeks or grab your shoulders, actions that got rejected as you kept moving back away from him.

“It’s time for me to go home.” He whispered to the floor, blinking up to you when you didn’t answer right away. “Y/N did you hear me?”

“I thought you said I-I was your home?” You’re unable to meet his gaze, unable to keep your voice from sounding hurt and betrayed.

“You are,” he swallowed thickly his own eyes pooling with tears, “but I can’t stay anymore. You’re going to start a life with Steve and I can’t be here to watch that.”

“What?” Your eyebrows furrowed together, this time the anger you were beginning to feel burning hotter inside you and making you take big step forward, “who said that? What?”

“It’s time for me to move on...even if it’s without you.” Poe continued.

“But..” their was too many emotions running through you, many things you needed and wanted to say, all of it just getting lost the moment you wanted to speak up, all of it just feeding your anger. “You know what, leave see if I care.” You follow by balling the letter in your hand and shoving it in his own, “and keep your stupid letter. I don’t care for it.” Without another word and in blinding anger you push him back and try to storm away, but you should’ve known that it was impossible to get the last word with Poe.

“Please don’t say that,” he tried to grasp your arm, but you quickened your pace, trying to slam his door only for him to catch it and push it back, his mission to explain himself deeper not dropping, “y/n please don’t let it end like this. Come on.”

You twirl around and point your finger at him, trying to sound angry and determined but every word coming out the opposite of the demeanor you tried to feign, “leave! that’s what you want to do, just do it, I don’t care!”

“Y/n,” Poe pleaded, “just understand that—” his words were cut off at the sight of Steve and Natasha coming to view, both looking to have some sense of hope, almost excited—the opposite of what either Poe or you felt.

“Uhh..” Steve looked akwardly between Poe and you, wondering what he had walked into, but not daring to ask—atleast not at that instant. “Y/n, Poe we have some news,” Steve spoke up with uncertainty.

“What about?” You turn to face him, but avoid looking at either avenger in the face. Hiding the fact that you had been crying.

Natasha shared a questioning glance with Steve, neither of them asking what had gone on and instead letting Natasha answer for Steve, “A friend just came. He says that their might be a way to bring everyone back.”

—

Traveling through time? What the hell.

The more they explained it the more confused you were. It sounded ridiculous and unreal, not only that but it was meant to be a sense of hope, a new solution after five years. You couldn’t believe it, you didn’t want to believe it.

“I don’t know if I can do this again Steve,” You sigh looking up at him with a watery gaze, “I’ve....” You hesitate to say your next words, but do so even if it felt wrong saying them, “...moved on. And if it doesn’t work I don’t know what I will do.”

Steve understood your hesitation, he felt it to but he had more hope than you did, he believed their could be a way...he needed to believe that.

“I know,” he tried assure you, “I know but it’s a second chance. What if it doesn’t work? We have to have hope.”

You shook your head in denial, “that’s what we said last time and look how that turned out.”

Steve wiped the tear from your cheek and then grabbed your hands in his, “one last time. After this we’re done, I promise.”

“Steve.” You cry.

“One last run. If it works you’ll get your family back, we’re doing this for them.” He gently pulls you in for a hug, one hand around your shoulders and one hand on the back of your head to pull you in closer. “One last time.”

Even if part of yourself didn’t believe it was going to work, their was still a small voice in your head, a small light that had always held hope for a solution to bring everyone back. And you gripped onto that small hope as hard as you could, for a what if. But if didn’t work you don’t know what you would do.

“Fine...one last time.” You whisper before pulling away, “before we leave I’m going to talk to Dameron.” without waiting for a response you walked off to talk to said pilot. Even if the thought of him made your blood boil—it shouldn’t, him deciding to leave shouldn’t anger you as it did, but their might be small, super tiny chance it might be because of those stupid feelings that resurfaced...or more like never left.

When Poe hears you walk into the living area he lifts his head and watches you walk towards him, his eyes lighting up with hope thinking that you were here to talk about something else rather than what you actually brought up.

“Are you going to help? Or are you still leaving?” You couldn’t even look at him while you talked, the emotions, the letter you read before still fresh in your head. All of it just increasing your anger tenfold. “Because if you are I’m leaving in a couple minutes. I mean if you’re still planning to leave while I’m gone.” You remarked.

Poe sighed and chose to ignore your comment, “I’m staying to help, but just know that if it doesn’t or does work I’m leaving regardless.”

You nod as you bite the inside of your cheek, “yeah I figured.”

“Y/N if you have something more to say about me leaving or....a reason why I shouldn’t leave then tell me.” His words were quiet but they held emotion in each word, a sense of hope for one truth, a revelation.

Stopping by the door, you look to the ground, ignoring his question and commenting something else in a expressionless manner, “We’re going with Steve and Natasha’s friend for help, you can come if you want or you can wait for us to return.”

“I’ll wait.”

You wanted to look back but you had to force yourself not to, to just walk off to meet up with Steve instead.

—

“No, we know how it sounds like.” Scott stammered while he took the cup Tony offered him.

“Tony, after everything you’ve seen is anything really impossible?” Steve tried to explain to his long time friend. A friend you knew wasn’t going to follow with your plan. You didn’t need to know him to know that. But it was understandable, he didn’t want to risk the life he now had.

Yet...you hoped he would help.

“Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck scale, which then triggers the Deutsch proposition. Can we agree on that?” Tony explained, all he said coming through one ear and exiting out of the other. Not because you were choosing to ignore him, but because you simply didn’t have a clue what the hell he was saying.

But through your confusion you took the drink he offered and expressed a soft, “thank you.” Before your ears perked up as he spoke to you.

“You’re letting him do this?” Tony questioned whilst pointing to Steve.

“I’m barely doing this.” You shrugged.

Tony then turned his attention back to the group, “In Layman’s terms, it means you’re not coming home.”

“I did.” Scott pointed out.

“No.” Tony interjected with a sigh, “you accidentally survived, its a billion-to-one cosmic fluke. And now you want to pull a...what do you call it?”

For a couple seconds Scott thought of his answer, a faint amused smile playing at his lips; “a time heist?”

“Yeah, a time heist. Of course. Why didn’t we think of this before? Oh, because it was laughable. Because it’s a pipedream.”

“The stones are in the past.” Steve added, “we could go back to get them.”

Natasha then followed Steve’s comment to add her own, “We could snap our fingers. We can bring everyone back.”

We hoped. Their was no guarantee. Or like Tony just said we could, “screw it up worse than he already has”

In some way you wanted to agree with Tony and think that this was wouldn’t work, because you knew nothing good would come out if it didn’t, but you were also trying to look at the bright side. Trying to play off that hope that you once had, that you once carried with joy.

But it was something hard to do, especially after hearing the disappointing answer Tony gave, after you had tuned out part of the conversation they had. “That’s right Scott. I won’t even. I can’t.”

The door creaked open, revealing Tony’s daughter running out to hug him and making anything anyone else was going to say drop at that instant. “Mommy told me to come and save you.”

A small smile broke through your serious demeanor at the sight and sound of the little girls comment. Feeling a slight bit envious at how Tony seemed to have moved on even after the events that happened, at how his life turned out to be. In some ways wishing you had gotten that life too.

“Good job. I’m saved.” Tony stood up and directed his next words to the group, “I wish you were coming here to ask me something else. Anything else. I’m honestly happy to see you guys—Oh and the table is set for seven.”

“Tony.” Steve interrupted, placing his hand on Tony’s arm, “I get it. And I’m happy for you I really am. But this is a second chance.”

“This is my second chance right here, Cap. Can’t roll the dice on it.” Tony turned his gaze away from Steve and turned to the group, “if you don’t talk shop you can stay for lunch.”

—

“Well he’s scared.” You comment while you walk towards the car, “I would be too.”

“He’s not wrong.” Steve agreed.

“Yeah, but, I mean what are we going to do?” Scott stammered. “We need him. What, are we gonna stop?”

“No, I want to do this right.” Steve paused for a moment as he came up with another plan, “we’re gonna need a really big brain.”

“Bigger than his?”

—

“The whole time travel do-over?”

After being distracted by some kids and a unimportant question to the matter at hand, Steve finally got Bruce to answer, even if it was sounding as disappointing as the answer Tony gave.

“Eh, guys, It’s outside my area of expertise.”

“Well, you pulled this off.” Natasha pointed out, “I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible too.” That was all he needed, that little push from Natasha. Who you knew in the past had a thing for her, and she had a thing for him.

It was a step towards a direction. Right or wrong? Well we were going to have to wait for that answer.

—

“Okay here we go. Time travel test number one.” Bruce announced.

“Time travel? That sounds ridiculous.” You mentioned under your breath, expecting no one to hear but being surprised when the person you didn’t want to talk to did.

“We once thought the force wasn’t real. Not until Rey proved us wrong. This is just like that.”

Poe was and had been trying to talk to you all day, making little comments, standing and staying close, trying to make jokes or ease the stressing situation. Acting as if what happened the day before didn’t actually happen. What a joke. His behavior only upset you more.

“I’m still not talking to you,” You sighed as you, not bothering to hear or look for Poe’s reaction or response. Instead watching Scott turn on his...van thing and watch as Steve returned to join the group, and stand at your side.

“Breakers are set. Emergency generators are on standby.”

“Good, because if we blow the grid, I don’t want lose, uh, tiny here in the 1950s.”

“Excuse me?” Scott exclaimed to Bruce’s comment, one that was hard not laugh to, as bad it actually sounded.

“He’s kidding.” Natasha chuckled, feigning a smile, “you can’t say things like that.”

“Its-its j-j—it was a bad joke.” Bruce stammered before he went to respond something Natasha whispered to him that you couldn’t hear.

“You’re good, Scott.” You showed a thumbs up to try and assure the man, even if you had your own doubts, “just get your helmet on.”

Bruce turned back around to face the machine and Scott to inform him what was planned, “Scott, I’m going to send you back a week. Let you walk around for an hour then bring you back in ten seconds. Make sense.”

“Perfectly not confusing.” Scott remarked.

“Good luck Scott. You got this.” Steve encouraged, making said man smile proudly at the comment.

“You’re right. I do, Captain America.” Seconds later Scott vanished into the machine, letting you look down to your droid.

“Artoo why don’t you stand by the power...just in case something goes wrong.” The droid listened to your command and stood by the power while you continued to watch the machine nervously, waiting for Bruce to pull the lever to bring back....a boy? “What the hell?”

“Uh, guys..this doesn’t feel right.” The boy looked at himself in slight fear and confusion, making you just as confused as he seemed to be.

“Who is that?”

“Hold on.”

“Is that Scott?” Poe questioned, his brows furrowing in utter confusion at the sight.

“Yes, it’s Scott.” The boy that claimed to be Scott vanished into the machine, seconds later an old man taking his place.

“What’s going on?” You wondered.

“Oh, my back!”

“What is this?”

“Can I get a little space.”

Steve and you walked towards Natasha to give what Bruce requested, both of your wondering gazes remaining on the confused old man.

“Can you bring him back?”

The old man disappeared and then came a baby—stars this was going horrible.

“It’s a baby.” Poe pointed out the obvious.

“It’s Scott!” Bruce exclaimed.

“As a baby.”

“He’ll grow.”

“Bring Scott back.” Steve stressed.

“When I say kill the power, kill the power.” Bruce instructed, making you turn to your droid and giving him a count down he understood while waiting for Bruce to say the words, “and...Kill it!” At the sound of the words Artoo did so and the right Scott returned this time, looking just as lost as the other “Scott’s”. The sight and knowledge of this not working making you sigh and a frown to appear on your features.

Quietly and in a upset mood you turned around to walk away from the failed experiment, tears running down your cheeks knowing that you had brought your hopes up for nothing.

“You okay?”

Without having to look back you knew who it was, it was easy to recognize Poe’s voice. And as angry as you were with him, as much as you wanted to tell him to go away you just didn’t have the energy to do so, instead you sat down in nearby seats, dropping your head in your hands to try and collect your thoughts. Moments later feeling Poe’s presence in front of you, making peek through your fingers to see him crouched before you.

“I know how you feel, you know I feel it too.” He spoke softly, a long look displayed on his features. “It’s okay to have hope. Even if it failed it’s okay.”

“How is it okay, Poe? It took me so long to move on the first time.” You sigh, lifting your face to reveal your glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks, “and now with this...I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“It’s still not over,” he placed his hand on your cheek, still trying to assure you, even after you had been rude. Not only today but the day before. Maybe he should leave, you didn’t deserve him to stay at your side after how you acted— “we’re still going to try until it works. We’re going to get Chewie, Rey and Finn back. I promise you that we are.”

A soft smile broke through your demeanor before you took his hand in yours to quietly express what had been gnawing at your heart. “Please don’t leave.”

Poe only stroked your knuckles with his thumb, a conflicted look passing through his eyes. And before he could comment anything, the sight of Natasha made him stand up to face her. Said women ignoring what she had seen, keeping the smile she came here with displayed on her lips before also speaking up in a hopeful way.

“It turns out that even after saying no, Tony found a way.” She shared before adding a joke, “a correct way.”

—

Sleep was impossible to get. With your nerves keeping you up, with the overthinking making you your mind replay what Tony announced and explained, thousands of outcomes and thoughts just running into your mind. Mainly the thought of what if it actually didn’t end up working.

It was a high possibility. Even if Tony Stark was supposed to be one of the smartest humans on earth—but you were trying. Keyword trying to think of positive outcomes while working on the machine you were going to use to do said “time travel”, but doing that was also hard.

If it worked it would mean that you would finally reunite with Finn, Chewbacca and Rey. Also with the squadron that you had lost. Thinking of that also made you giddy, it made you smile and often times get you distracted from the assigned work. But that work also kept you busy. It kept everyone busy...well almost everyone.

“You’re drifting left.” Tony told Thor as you both walked past him, the shocked reaction at the sight of the new him still very present on your face. “One side there Lebowski.”

“That’s really Thor?” You whispered to Tony. Said man looked over his shoulder to get another look at his friend, his eyes narrowing before he looked away and responding.

“I think.” Tony then directed his next comment to Rocket, who had been working on the machine like the rest of you and unlike..others. “Ratchet, how’s it going?”

“It’s Rocket.” The little sentient corrected—which you now, during the five years on earth knew that he was actually something called a raccoon...weird. “Take it easy. You’re only a genius on earth pal.”

Tony doesn’t respond, or more like before he could Thor belched loudly behind you. A gross gesture you all chose to ignore.

“You, ball, chrome dome, come help me with this.” Tony commanded to the droids at your side.

“They have names.” Poe remarked from under the machine.

Tony shrugged and looked back to the droids, “sure. Anyway your robots are helpful I’m going to work with them...they’re not for sale are they?”

“No.” You deadpanned before Artoo responded too. His remark harsher than yours.

“Yeah I still can’t understand you.” Tony muttered to artoo, “but I do need your help so come on.” Both droids followed said man and even through their differences, Tony still talked to the both of them as if he had known them for the longest time or as if he understood them. The sight truly making you smile.

Anyhow remembering that Natasha had asked you to get Steve for help, you exited the room you had been in and went to search for him, that actual mission taking you longer than expected—but once you actually found him, he was sitting down in a nearby briefing room, with his back turned to the door. It looked as if he had his head in his hands and that he was contemplating something.

The sight made you quietly open the door and try and go to him and maybe comfort him, but once you tried, you noticed through the reflection of a nearby window that he wasn’t actually doing that or actually had his head in his hands; It also didn’t seem that he had heard you walk in. Regardless when really saw what he was doing you were left speechless, not knowing what to actually think.

Steve wasn’t doing anything bad to make you storm out of the room, but seeing him look—admire a small picture of a strange (at least to you) yet very pretty women on the compass in his hand left you quiet. It was hard to not notice the look he had displayed on his features, even if it was a picture—you had only seen that look a million times before on other people, felt it on yourself multiple times before when looking at...someone else.

And maybe you should’ve made your presence known to Steve, but for some reason you chose not to and instead walked out as you had entered. Quietly and without being seen—the emotions you felt exactly upon seeing that were still very unknown to you, it kept your mind restless though, with the hundreds of other thoughts occupying it. But you also knew that you couldn’t solely focus on what you saw, you couldn’t.

So instead you tried to focus on Clint who had the new suit on, and the group that was now surrounding him and the machines control panel.

“How are you feeling?” Poe asked as he stood by your side with his hands on his hips.

Even if you were still slightly mad at him, you chose to answer his wondering question, “among other things, scared...you?”

“Hopeful.”

“Always so optimistic Dameron.” You smirked.

“Someone has to.”

You let out an amused huff of air before feeling Steve’s hand on your back as he joined the group, a gesture you discreetly pulled away from—maybe you were somewhat upset?

“All right, Clint. We’re going in three,” at Bruce’s countdown your nerves resurfaced. Only this time ten times worse, to the point where you felt as if you were going to puke or just pass out. “Two, one.” Not missing a beat, Clint disappeared, the couple second countdown starting by you worsening your nerves.

Even if he was only going to be gone a couple seconds. Those few seconds felt like an eternity. The waiting overall felt like hell, it kept you at the edge and made you bite your nails in the anticipation. It made the room silent beside the countdown Bruce was saying, it caused a heavy tension, with every passing second making it worse.

The only moment of relief either of you had, the moment where you could let out that held in breath of air was when, Bruce finished his countdown and pressed a button on the machine that made Clint return on his hands and knees, grunting in and shouting out a name. Natasha was quick to react and rush to him, asking for his well being which he was quick to reassure her.

All while you walked closer to the platform and anxiously waited for a answer, whilst briefly sharing a worried look with Poe.

Not being able to hold it in anymore you needed to ask, “Clint. Did it work?”

Said man looked to you and then at the group, throwing something to Tony so he could catch before he shared the answer you longed to hear, “It worked. It worked.”

Fuck yes.

.

.

.

A/N- you know Tony with the droids is a concept I would’ve loved to see. And if could draw I would draw him talking to Artoo and BB8. Anyway just so everyone knows Natasha ships Poe and reader 😉

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[theglassesgirl]

The Queen just suffered a well deserved and graphic death after having enslaved and mentally tortured Spear, Fang, Mira and the baby raptors for MONTHS (to say nothing of how she did worse to The Dad character and his poor daughter for perhaps an entire year or so during her campaign, where she murdered and enslaved EVEN more people, entire villages as we have seen) so uhhhh yeah, I don’t think Genndy is planning anything noble or good for dear old Viking Slave Trader McMurderface, the person who started this whole chase in the first place. He is so blinded by his own (self absorbed!!) grief that he LITERALLY can’t see he’s a monster. An actual goddamn monster.

The Horned God, as we have seen, gives zero fucks for his vassals. The witch character from last season (far more sympathetic yet still complicit in murdering men to produce magic quasi-rape babies) was brutally hunted by Horned God for trying to redeem herself, which is the only reason he is fixated on making Spear and Fang pay for interfering with his affairs.

I know that I joke about Darlington apologists in my posts from time to time (as a gag, really I don’t care), but making your own post is free and easy, because I don’t plan on arguing or debating story or character interpretations at all. I won’t be convinced of anything. Because I like this show and y’all trying to swing the bat for characters I clearly don’t care for is sort of weird considering I’m very clearly swinging the other way.

TLDR my posts aren’t for dumbass bleeding hearts that feel bad for white colonizer characters when the text is saying he’s a fuck head who’s chosen to be possessed to kill the slaves who escaped him. Like who are you replying to? Not me that’s for damn sure. 🙄

[jaeheekangisimportant]

what's your top six of the routes and why? :o

Okay this is going under a read more cause it’s surprisingly long sorry I kind of went off more then I planned to.

Also, I discuss sexual misconduct and assault toward the end of this, it’s not too detailed but I did want to give people some warning just in case

1. Yoosung – It was my first route so it’s always been a bitspecial to me, but even putting that aside I just really like his route. I knowa lot of people fixate on the whole “just like Rika” thing and take issue withit but honestly, I could never bring myself to care about it that much. Like,no I didn’t exactly like being compared to his dead cousin, but I didn’t getangry or annoyed at Yoosung for it. I understood that it was coming from aplace of grief. He was in a deep depression because of Rika’s supposed deathand he never got the closure he needed for it, and no one else seemed to betaking him or his feelings seriously. It’s not surprising that he would clingto the first person (MC) who showed genuine interest in him and try to findwhat he lost (Rika) in her. It’s not right for him to do that, of course, but Icould understand and empathize and so I was willing to be patient. And it’s notlike he does it the whole route anyway, he stops the Rika comparisons within afew days, and from them on he sees MC as her own person and likes her for whoshe is, though he’s of course still dealing with his grief. I thought it waswell-written, honestly. I guess I can understand not wanting a romance thatfocuses so much on your love interest grieving someone else but… yeah I justcouldn’t be bothered by it in the same way everyone else seemed to be. I lovedYoosung’s character development and I enjoyed every minute of it. Plus, sinceit was my first route and I knew absolute nothing going into this game,everything was genuinely surprising and fresh and felt real to me, a feeling Islowly lost as I did more routes. Plus, Yoosung’s endings are the best?His good ending is so beautiful and his normal ending is just super cute. Andhis bad endings… well they certainly live up to being bad endings lmao. They were interesting at least and they got astrong emotional response out of me so, that’s saying something at least.

2. Jumin – Okay so everyone seems to have pretty strongopinions about Jumin’s route one way or the other. For the people who are onthe side of not liking it, let me just say… I get it. Really, I do. I also kindof, um, don’t care? Okay that sounds bad just hold on. I’m not reallyinterested in writing out a big defense of why Jumin’s route isn’t Problematicbecause for one thing, plenty of people have done that already and for anotherthing, I don’t necessarily disagree with the people who don’t like Jumin’sroute. I get where they’re coming from, parts of his route are veryuncomfortable. I don’t think he’s as bad as certain people make him out to be,but he undeniably crosses the line at some points of his route, and I candefinitely understand not liking it because of that. As for why I like it, well, part of it again camedown to how much I empathized with Jumin, which was a lot. Much like Yoosung,no one else in the game seems to take Jumin very seriously. They write him offas unfeeling and no one really tries to understand or sympathize with him. So,I got why Jumin acted out the way he did in his route, though of courseunderstanding is not the same thing as excusing. But the other thing is… I thinkhis route is wildly entertaining. It was the only one, aside from Yoosung’s,where I genuinely had no idea where it was going. Jaehee’s route, thoughenjoyable, was easy for me to predict, as was Zen’s route. And Seven’s route Igot spoiled for long before I even got to it. I liked that Jumin’s route was sounpredictable to me, it made it really fun to go through, and I thought Juminwas a really interesting character and I liked getting into his head and learningmore about him. It was still fun to play even after the first time. So, since Iliked Jumin’s route so much purely for the entertainment factor of it, it waseasy for me to forgive the more “wtf” parts of it. And listen guys, Jumin mademe strawberry pancakes and read me to sleep, why would I ever want to leave hishouse to begin with?? (Also, fun fact: it was Jumin’s route that made merealize Jaehee was my favorite character.)

3. Jaehee – I’ve already talked a lot about her route here, andhow I don’t like the ambiguity of it and the weird pseudo-romance between herand Zen that only serves to placate the people who don’t want Jaehee/MCromance. It breaks my heart that my favorite character in the game and of alltime is only my third favorite route, but I mean, her route is still good and Istill enjoyed it a lot. It’s just unfortunate that I don’t love it quite asmuch as I love her. But enough negatives. In general, I don’t see a lot ofsimilarities between myself and Jaehee, but what she said about how she holdsherself back from being happy because she’s afraid of it disappearing? Boy thathit me hard. I really loved Jaehee’sgrowth throughout her route, seeing her realize her own worth and that it’sokay to take risks sometimes and she doesn’t always have to play it safe,seeing her find a true place in the RFA and in the world, it was all sobeautiful! I think Jaehee’s route is interesting in how it deals withloneliness and self-worth, and plus Jaehee herself is just so cute?? The textsshe sends and the responses you can give are just so adorable I love how muchJaehee opens up she really is so charming and fun. So yeah very solid route, Ijust wish certain things had been handleddifferently but y’all know that already I don’t need to go into it again.

4. Seven – Uuuuh boy. Hm. I’m not a huge fan of Seven’sroute. Particularly, I don’t care for the actual romance in Seven’s route.Which is kind of a big deal. But I’ll get to that. A lot of the “reveals” inSeven’s route were spoiled for me back when I was still only on my second route,so there were very few surprises when I actually got to Seven’s. To befair, a lot of these things I probably would have guessed myself anyway becausethe hints aren’t exactly subtle, but I didn’t even get the satisfaction ofwatching my guesses be proven correct myself because I didn’t get to make thoseguesses at all, I was spoiled too early. My fault for following a lot of MMblogs so early on in my playing, but still annoying. Not everythingwas spoiled for me at least, there was still a lot I didn’t know about Sevenand Saeran’s past and that was interesting to learn about. I also loved that littlesubplot in Seven’s route with Yoosung and Jumin lmao. As I’ve said tho, theweakest part of Seven’s route for me was the romance with him. I didn’t likehow mean he is to MC, and I had a difficult time placing myself in MC’s shoesbecause I couldn’t find any reason that I would want to keep pursuing someonewho was treating me and acting the way Seven was, so I felt really disconnectedfrom the whole thing. Probably super hypocritical of me to take issue with theway Seven treated MC when I didn’t take issue with the way Jumin treated her,but I simply wasn’t as invested in romancing Seven. I always seem to have that problemwith Seven. Even in his Christmas route and even in his Valentine’s afterending, I just… didn’t care. Like, they were objectively cute, and I swear I actuallylike Seven, but somehow when it comes to romance with him I disengage almostentirely. So idk man, maybe I only like Seven as a friend?? It’s weird. Sevenis such a strange character for me for a lot of reasons I won’t go into but thepoint is, since a lot of the mystery around Seven was ruined for me early on,his route didn’t hold as much interest for me as it should have, and the factthat I wasn’t invested in the romance part of it didn’t help. I don’t hate hisroute or anything, but I have a hard time saying I like it.

5. Zen – I don’t like Zen so there was very little chance of meliking his route anyway. Even if that wasn’t the case, tho, it stillwould have ranked very low because of the whole Echo Girl thing. I just… reallydon’t like stories that are like “girl ruins guy’s life with false sexualmisconduct accusations” because it pretty much never happens like that in reallife and it only perpetuates the idea that victims of assault and harassmentare lying and dramatic, and that makes it more difficult for people to come forward when ithappens to them. Zen’s route makes a big thing out of Echo Girl accusing him “withoutproof”, and of course we know that she was in fact lying, but the way it’spresented it’s like… look, I’m always going to be inclined to believe thevictim, with or without proof, because the consequences of me believing themand being proven wrong will do far less damage than if I didn’t believe them,and they were telling the truth. It’s not immoral for people to have believedEcho Girl’s story even if she didn’t have “proof” (which, what would that looklike anyway?). Also the way they disprove her claims is pretty gross too,because they disprove it by showing that Echo Girl was attracted to Zen and saidthings about wanting to have sex with him before the alleged incident, sotherefore she must be lying. That’s not how that fucking works. And again, weknow that Echo Girl was lying, and that she was in fact the one harassing him, but think about what this is implying. Thatbecause Echo Girl is attracted to Zen, he couldn’t have assaulted her? Thatbecause she said before that she would like to have sex with him, she couldn’t possibly have changed her mind and therefore he couldn’t have assaultedher? That because she expressed interest in him, it’s impossible that anyadvances he made could have been inappropriate and therefore he couldn’t haveassaulted her? Echo Girl being attracted to Zen has absolutely nothing to dowith whether or not she could have been harassed or assaulted by him! Saying that herinterest in him is enough to disprove her claims is really gross! It doesn’tmatter that they were false, the implications of all this is still bad! Theycould have and should have handled all of this differently, the route wouldhave been better off for it, but the way it’s written is just so bad and perpetuatesall kinds of awful ideas.

6. V – ahaha ahhsha alskd I’ve already said enough about V andhis route I don’t think I need to say more

[souichipresents]

Souichi Presents: Tomie, tOmie, toMie....

Kyahaha! Welcome, welcome back to Souichi Presents! The home of a true madman's task... to one day have reviewed every single Junji Itou story ever made! However... perhaps if you’ve noticed, even leaving aside the holiday hiatus, there’s been an unusual uptick in Non Mr. Itou Reviews. 

Why would this be? Well, I could say that I try to take in new horror as much as possible, to keep refreshed... but if I had to be honest in myself, it’s possible... I might be avoiding something. 

THERE'S JUST SO MANY OF HER. THEM. THESE STORIES. There’s so many of them. But that can’t stop me in my sacred duty because I swore an OATH... well I had a random idea when I was a freshman in college which I picked back up again for absolutely no reason I can recall and I’m sticking to it. 

Of course this is a labor of love, make no mistake. And there’s still a lot to love, as we get to... 

JUNJI ITOU’s, TOMIE: THE BASEMENT

(See part 1, MORITA HOSPITAL, here.)

Alright so if you weren’t here for the last part of this series, here’s a QUICK rundown. 

A girl is in the hospital while her not-boyfriend visits, until oh no! Tomie does that weird thing she does where her only enjoyment in stringing dudes along eems to be tormenting girls about it which isn’t weird at all. Sad hopsital girl is very sad, and also absolutely dying from Vauge Anime Organ Failure. But luckily for her, she’s able to get a transplant! Bad news, it’s a Tomie, signed off for the transplant from the sketchiest man alive claiming to be Tomie’s father. Again. Which is creepy because he is 100% actually the teacher from the very first Tomie story who may have impregnated her, was absolutely dating her, and 1000% killed her. So that’s creepy. 

Then it ended with ‘everyone with a uterus screamed internally during THIS bit’, alternate title ‘Aliens but with Tomie’. Now that we’re all caught up... 

(remember this is one of the very early translations, back when official publishers mirrored the art, so it’s left to right. God forgive us.)

Oh right, so this is early EARLY translation here, so it’s left-to-right again. My favorite part of this is that if theres a RUMOR about this, it indicates two things, really: one is that a patient happened to SEE this, which is just hilariously terrible. You get up, maybe getting some water, see- oh hey they’re operating and hhHOOOPS THATS A TINY HAND BYEEEE. 

Or option two: just some real gossipy nurses. “You would not BELEIVE the shit I put up with... yeah between this and whoever put the plastic wrap over the toilet seat, I’m out. I don’t care if it includes dental.”

...sorry, the heck is this?

Why it’s Fumihito! He’s... totaly unrelated to the story so far, and any future stories! But he’s sure here now. Good for you, Fumihito. 

Sure I make fun, but I’m pretty sure he might actually make it out of this ALIVE. Maybe the secret to surviving Tomie is to lack personality. Well he has one personality trait: checking out creepy things for No Reason. It might not get you very far at a party, but it;s gangbusters for moving a horror plot along. 

Well so much for my recap. This one’s probably more factual. Also can I just say I appreciate how in stride these doctors are taking this? Maybe they got all their ‘NO, THIS CAN’T BE’ out of their systems earlier. 

Well this has to be better then the goldfish bowl of hydrocloric acid the last tomie head was in. But whatever THIS is is... opaque... but not from... this side...?

....Mr. Ito, did you just have worries about drawing the doctors through the water at an angle? Well, god knows I wouldn’t want to. 

Now this is interesting, because it’s really the only go at a scientific explanation for Tomie’s... tomieness. But all he’s *really* saying is, hey, she can regenerate! I don’t think the real secret to this story is that Tomie turns out to be a large pile of planarians. ...though that would be amazing. 

...though it does speak badly for earths survival rate... do you eventualy wind up with a Tomie ‘apocalypse’? Crowds of tomies... gigantic tomies, like terrible lighthouses of adoration? Who knows, maybe every second tomie just kind of wanders into the ocean to keep overpopulation down... but still, you imagine it ends poorly. 

Yes well luckily rules don’t apply to NOSY MALE PROTAGONIST MAN! Able to use his amazing powers to satisfy his own vauge curiosity with a single bound. 

“And why are you in my room exactly?” “Plot contrivance! Need a character to follow to see the story happen, you know.” “...Isn’t that *me*?” “Don’t... don’t worry about it. 

This really highlights the difference in horror as a genre, you know? In most other stories someone being able to miraculously heal from major surgery would be a GOOD thing. Or at least even odds. 

See also: reading mysterious books, talking to strange new people, investigating odd noises. Don’t blame horror protags for doing those things; any other genre going into the magic furniture leads to narnia instead of hell. 

Similarly, only in horror is it possible for cancer to not be the worst outcome.

Now, I do feel the urge to make a joke here about just deciding to irradiate the monster why not, but they do actually have a logical train of thought here. They’re assuming something like cancer is happening; so they’re trying to see if radiation therapy could destroy the cells. 

WHICH is in turn interesting to me, because the “rules” of Tomie aren’t... clear. But they do seem to work. For the record-

Acid works. Fire works but you gotta be REAL thorough. Cutting is the opposite of working, bludgeoning not really much better. Water- laughable. Poison- untried. Concrete- ???? Radiation... well you’ll see in a minute. 

Meanwhile we get more of this. You wanted more of this, right? 

Tadashi sucked. Suuuuucked. This guy... exists. 

This does clarify a little more about her- it sounds like she has kind of a lonely life. ...I’m also going to throw this guy a bone and assume whatever he said in the original japanese might have been more of a “Oh, is that right?” then... that. 

Oh right, the monster. Radiation turns out to just make Tomie go from a kind of head-disaster to “barbie doll left on the stove.” Why? It’s a little late to want a scientific reason why THIS happens, because tomie already endlessly self replicates with no apparent need for outside energy... kind of. 

More then a few times we see her eating things (people) to regenerate from, but theres also times where nothing like thats around. Maybe having outside energy just speeds it up...? Or maybe she’s a nonsense curse monster. 

You know, I really didn’t think I’d like RE7 when the demo was out, but I like a lot of what they wound up doing with it in the main game. 

...And you are....?

Okay. Y’all. My dear friends. I love these comics. I love mr. Ito. I do. But we spend FOUR PAGES on, essentially, “Freddy hears noises behind the door, and briefly sees a walking figure.” I’m hitting the fast forward. 

There she is. The crux of this mystery- this and so many more. A living ghost? An endlessly self replicating memory? The guilt and fixation of a murderer imprinted into a endlessly replicating form? The grief of a murdered (pregnant!) teen girl horrifically cut down by a man?

If nothing else, a strange naked girl, in a fishtank, in a hospital basement he just saw a dude walk out of. What a strange sight. What a genuinely beautiful panel, highlighting a subtle, aberrant moment. 

...well. I mean, from a meta point of view, he took the safest available route, but... you can’t help but be disappointed, right?

Well Tomie has better things to do anyways. People to see. Short haired girls to loom over. 

No seriously, always with the short haired girls. Tomie has a.... type? Is that even what you could call it?

I’m not sure it really is about Tadashi, Tomie. I’m not really sure it is. 

Speaking of which, this is actually really unusual for Tomie. While she tends to generate terrible violence and suffering around her, I can’t really think of any time when she actually directly attacks someone. Usually she would have male ‘lackeys’ that she’d assign or manipulate to kill someone for her. This is an unusually direct motion on her part. 

Hey remember when she had slightly curly hair? We’re in the odd midpoint art wise where her design takes a odd turn. I can never figure out if it’s just a drift, or if it’s closer to how Mr. Ito wanted Tomie to look. 

Anyways it was nice knowing you, Dr. McDoctorson. 

Meanwhile, this is going to get a lot worse, and never get better. Note the interesting framing of the flowers here. I wish I knew if this was made before or after Dying Young. It feels like a very similar story thread, but Dying Young focuses more cleanly on the specific idea of ‘an illness making you beautiful, but at a terrible cost’. While this is... well. Tomie tomie tomie tomie. 

In the meantime, the doctors have been debating if tomie material can be used to cure illnesses (spoiler: hhhhooo boy no), and our main character went to visit John Smithee here. Who... does... this. 

...What the hell is he talking about? Her only personality change is she’s suddenly a little happier, and flirting with him. Also, he’s the one who’s been nonsensical in her grill hitting on her? Is this supposed to be like, ~oh I liked you for how you looked before~. 

I hate that. I hate every half-witted story where some boy is praised for seeing a girls ~natural beauty~. Like the discover of a girl is more important then whatever her plans for how she wants to look and feel are. And while this isn’t exactly because she just straightened her hair and got makeup, he doesn’t actually know that. So it just... grates on me. Endlessly. 

WHY IS THIS DUDE IN THIS STORY. 

Like this is supposed to be GASP TOMIE IS TAKING HER OVER but the problem is I don’t LIKE him, and his reason for turning her down is as shallow as anything Tomie has literaly ever said. 

It’s not sweet! And he has no functional personality. This story is supposed to be about her, but because she’s going through this transformation, it feels like he’s there so we see it from outside her point of view. But he just... sucks. 

Me too, totes-not-Tomie. 

Yeah his investment in how much more docile and quiet she was before really makes me feel the emotional weight of this terrible transformation coming over her. Which I guess is really my problem. 

This horrible thing happening to HER is being framed in how it’s affecting HIM. How HE feels about how she looked and behaved. And I could not care. Less. 

WHY CAN’T WE SEE MORE OF HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THIS. 

meanwhile, Tomie accidentally saves many, many lives by getting rid of the other half of Kidney-Kaijulet, because these morons were going to inject more people with Tomie. 

Then this happens, and it kind of sucks. Even though it’s ~tomie~ and she’s evil or whatever... it... just kind of sucks. Which I guess is what winds up wearing me down in this series. We’re not short of media where ladies get hit and killed a lot. And I fully recognize there is context for this series as existing in japan that I’m not privy to, and will never actually be able to speak to. 

But to me, what the Tomie series has thats genuinely something different gets overshadowed by the monotony of the violence in it. For how little Mr. Ito work in later years includes outright slasher type violence, Tomie just... keeps goin. 

Also, she keeps dying but Creeper Teacher Dude here keeps being alive still, which also Just Sucks. 

Blink and you’ll miss it, here’s the whole reason any of this happened! It’s... this shithead again. Womp womp. 

Unintentionaly this might be the funniest page Ito has ever made. Poor bearded doctor just. 

WHY ARE YOU CUTTING HER UP? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WI- WHY THE FUCK DO *YOU* HAVE A CAN OF GASOLINE. WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING. I SHOULD HAVE JUST TAKEN THE JOB IN KURÔZU-CHO. 

Also.... “squeak squeak?” That cannot possibly be the right sound effect. 

...alright this guys a total shitstain in five directions, but this is also pretty funny. He’s basically doing a Loony Toons exit in a dark horror story. 

Don’t listen to that too long by the way, it’s kind of hypnotic. 

And this... this one page makes, to me, the whole rest of the story.... 

The intensity of the reveal. The tight closeups from her face to his, the way she seems contained inside the arc of the fire. The slant of the panels around them- leading to such a sense of unease, and drawing the eye.  

This. This is a beautiful horror moment. 

What a strange moment. Do they leave together? I don’t remember if he comes back again, though I suspect he must. What happens to her....? 

Is she really completely gone?

And that, at last, is the end of BASEMENT. 

This is a really muddled one for me. I feel like theres so MUCH in it I could enjoy, but somehow it both has too many ideas, and feels stuffed with filler. 

I’d loved to see some of these ideas. A hospital researching tomie? A girl being corrupted BY tomie and slowly losing her sense of self...? Those are both amazing ideas that I wish had been their own stories. I wish the girl becoming tomie had kept the lense on HER. On how she felt, on what she was doing. 

I think in a way I find this pair of chapters to be more frustrating then others because... if there weren’t good moments, I could just freely mock it, and maybe even skip past it. But there is a good story in it! There really is. 

It just feels like it’s happening somewhere else, while the ‘camera’ follows this unrelated person. With a level of decompression that... doesn’t work for me. 

I suppose thats a greater problem I have with Tomie. It can just feel like so MUCH, but it almost never gets bad enough i can comfortably abandon it. 

Almost. 

That’s all for this week, folks! Join us next time won’t you? I’m hoping to get to more Ito, and talk about the hauntingly strange short “Madame Tutli Putli”, and possibly talk about the great classic of horror cinema, Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. And of course, the souichi presents patreon is now on monthly donations, and I’ll be updating it’s milestones soon! Even a dollar or two makes a really big difference. 

And as always, Souichi WILL... return.