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scrollsofeternity · 4 years

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but the stars look good on you || shizuka || finale

Hisato and Azusa’s betrayals hadn’t really brought any emotions on her, neither of them, stupid as they were, deserved Shizuka to feel even the slightest bit of emotion for them, not sadness, not regret and not sympathy. However, the former’s death had indeed brought her something.

Anger.

And it only lasted less than a second, it was a bridge that was burnt long ago now. A lifetime ago in her eyes, Hisato had been the one to set it aflame before they even built it. She hadn’t any fault in any of that, neither now nor then, it’s good to know that Hisato Kaneshiro was never her friend, not someone to grief.

Azusa Doigawa was worth even less than that; as was anyone that would kneel before him and herald him as king. They all angered her, but that too, passed before even a single muscle on her face moved. ...It seems she at least has the sense not to throw away the opportunity to go home, her opinion won't improve one bit for it but it's the one good thing Shizuka thinks Azusa's ever done.

Her spite is best shown through actions rather than just expressions

She would make sure their wish would never come true. She intended, from the beginning, the moment that they learned there was no escape just yet, to make sure Hisato Kaneshiro would never again touch a hair on Alphonse’s head. It was her final ploy to spite him, for as long as she lived -here or outside- the two of them will never meet again.

He had his chance, he had several chances, he had more chances than anyone else here, he had more than all of them combined but time and time again, Hisato denied himself that which could help him. And now he would never have it, someone to love, someone to care for. He’ll be miserable until the day he rots in his grave, after Chiharu and everyone else get them away from here. His eternity will be cut short. His life will be misery incarnated, all of his own making.

She looks over at Alphonse. It’s strange how alike, how different they are.

She can’t quite deny that perhaps, before their deaths, they had been friends. And friends should watch out for each other, even if she’ll have to watch out for him a few more times, even if she’ll be annoyed by him more often than not. He was, is, and will be her friend.

Much like Hisato had marked himself as her enemy, Alphonse will be her friend.

In a sense, much like Chiharu, Shizuka is motivated by love and sheer fucking spite.

But speaking of Chiharu and that love.

She had been holding her hand the entire time after they had said their pieces, listening to music as peacefully as possible given the circumstances, she hadn’t even paid much attention to everything else but this moment. It was nice and probably the last nice thing she’ll feel for some time, until she wakes up she thinks.

Her rough, calloused hand gently squeezes Chiharu’s when Saturday Calantha’s ends his speech about the decision the ones with the ability to take would need to make soon. They both knew the answer but she isn’t ready to let go just yet.

Her eyes dart across the room, so many people were in here and at the end of the day, they all were part of the same group, simply unlucky people that Hisato had somehow managed to get together, or rather someone else managed to get together for him.

...Man.

She really didn’t care for the vast majority of people that were here. It’s kind of laughable. ‘Much of what can be said for Chiharu can be said for Shizuka’, said that report and in turn, they had said Chiharu has a heart of gold. Which, in her bias, she would agree with. But for herself? Her heart is bronze, and kind of rusty bronze at that. And probably pretty small. ...There is some people she probably called friends before, though. Those people get a small smile before her eyes settle on Chiharu again.

Another light squeeze. The time of parting is so close. How… scary. She won’t be alone in the literal sense but she’ll be lonely for a time, at least. She knows Chiharu won’t keep her waiting, and she knows she doesn’t want to keep her waiting in turn.

She wonders; can she force herself to wake up? Hisato had said that sort of thing was next to impossible but Hisato was a fucking dumbass idiot anyway so clearly the answer has to be yes, actually. It just might take her time, and she’ll more than likely need help but she’ll be getting it. Even the people who put her and the others here say they’ll try. And they better, or god knows what she’ll do to them if they don’t.

Waking up… Waking up… it’ll be nice. And her memories too. They are so far behind, so far away, so out of reach, but all the feelings they bring, the happiness Chiharu made her feel time and time again, that hasn’t left her, that’s a part of her that no one will ever take away, not matter how they try, not even death could manage, after all.

Death. Her dead peers. They all begin to depart, Yaco gets the kindest gesture she’s shown him yet; a simple head nod of approval. Aina gets another in turn. She’s already told herself she’ll watch out for even those she doesn’t like, she doesn’t need to focus on them right now, they could use all the time, instead her thoughts are with the person in front of her.

In the same way that Shizuka Maemi refuses to lose to anyone, she won’t ever stop loving her Chiharu Maki and with that love and absolute belief in her, the future isn’t as uncertain as others want them to think.

That’s why this isn’t a last goodbye.

[♫♫♫]

It might be a long-lasting one, but it’s not a farewell, it can’t be the end for them, they both will be working hard for it. Knowing this much, it’s all the reassurance Shizuka could need, her eyes begin to shine, there’s no use fighting the few tears that appear on her eyes, because Chiharu is right there in front of her.

Through her tears, the moon gives the sun her brightest smile, a choked out sound escapes her as she squeezes the other’s hand.

“I-I still can’t remember but that’s okay. You are right. I don’t care about this world, I care about you.”

But she has her feelings of love. It feels so nice to finally name them for the first time. Or more accurately, again. The others in her group might be less certain, and they might not even want to be who they were but she is convinced. She is Chiharu’s Shizuka.

“You and I… we are going to last forever, not just this life, but every one after. No one can take our love from us.” Her words are soft and gentle, calm and sincere, full of trust, the kind of trust that nothing, no one can temper with, the kind that makes you know for sure; it will all be alright in the end.

“I’ll love you well after the sun’s stopped, and after the world’s ended, after the universe has stopped I’ll love you, to eternity and even more. So… I don’t think it’s selfish. I can’t wait to be home with you.”

She blinks, trying to stop any tears from coming; even if they are happy because Chiharu is finally safe and even if they are sad because she’ll keep her waiting, a small laugh escapes her.

“I guess that’s just my job, huh? Just like before.” Before she was certain of who she was. “I promise. I’ll look out for them, so make sure you don’t get into too much trouble, okay? ...Take care of yourself, too.”

But she won’t be worried, because she knows Chiharu will do this for her. She’ll be ready to welcome her back with a smile on her face and she needs to take care of herself for that, too. A smile crosses her lips from imagining the antics people like the ones Chiharu mentioned would get into, she nods and then ---

Her scarf. The one Chiharu’s always been wearing; though she does not know it, this had been a gift she herself had given to Chiharu years back, now returned with the other’s warmth on it, she relishes the feeling around her, like the sun gently giving way to the moon in a slow evening.

“I’ll be sure to give it back. You always get so cold, don’t you?” She smiles, a little laugh following, and something comes to her, "I'll treasure it, I'll take good care of it, Haru-chi!"

Automatically, her arms wrap around Chiharu as soon as the hug is started, realy, they both had started it together as they had done with so many things before. Shizuka’s eyes squeeze shut as a few tears begin trailing down her cheeks, she rubs Chiharu’s back, warmly, gently, just as always, just like before. Just like she’ll do when she’s woken up.

“I love you, I can’t wait to see you again.”

It’s the tightest but also the warmest, most gentle hug she’s given, it’s careful and delicate and like it’ll never break apart, but it does because it has to, because she knows it’s the best for Chiharu, but she lets herself stay close, joined, just for a little bit. Just for a little bit to make up for the time they’ll miss.

As they part, Shizuka composes herself, shaking her tears off, and hugging the scarf to her neck, it’s not easy. It might be the hardest thing she’ll ever do in her life, but she has to do it, she has to see Chiharu off.

But difficult it may be, she knows that it’ll all be okay, and reflecting Chiharu’s warm shine, Shizuka gives her the kindest smile, the same smile Chiharu has seen time and time again directed at her. The same smile that’ll be directed to her when they reunite.

#ch6 #trial #shizuka #submission

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