#yall gotta tag this and make sure it gets to the right spaces for me okay

[catboybiologist]

Alright I can't finish this all in one sitting, but here's at least a bit of.... something? A word vomit? A prelude to smut about the eroticism of the machine? For all you robot, mecha, and spaceship fuckers out there. @k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl that means you

Pappy always said that manufacturing biological transportation was nothing knew. I mean, shit, humanity's been breeding horses for how long? To him, not much was novel about what was going on in the shipyards way out by Neptune when I was a kid.

But Pappy didn't know a lot of things. And he certainly didn't meet Roseanna.

The Federation Navy had experimented with biologics for decades. The idea was to create self regenerating ships- something to interface with the hull, move the new titanium plates and particulates into place, have a living, growing mass interfacing with the steel so that the ship didn't have to head all the way back to the yards to patch up after every dogfight.

The first generation... worked. With a full time crew, that is. Full time people on deck jabbin the rigid, chitonous interface with the hull full of growth hormones to get them to set just right. Full time onboard bioengineers to compute what signaling cocktail ya need to hit 'em with to get it to grow back right. Skilled onboard technicians to shave back the chitin when it tried to overgrow the titanium, and slap some new cells in to seed the process in heavily damaged areas. Less input material, less time in the yards, but far more manpower. Great for a Federation cruiser on deep space peacekeeping missions. Far too complex for small craft. Right?

Until some bastard put brains in 'em.

Well. A lotta suits would say that they weren't brains. They were a diffuse network of sensory neurons and ganglia, living inside the body of the ship, integrating signals from a skin of alloyed metal and fibrous protein, calculating power draw too and from various components, and integrating with the mechanical and electrical components of the ship to precisely manage the "wound healing" process of the vessel. And of course, it just so happened that one of those ganglia was larger and more complex than the rest of them, and it just so happened that the computer interfaces with this ganglia exhibit complex, thinking behaviors on the level of human cognition, and it just so happens that most pilots and navigators reported them developing their own personalities.....

But of course, the Navy didn't want anyone to have some kind of pesky empathy in the way of their operations. And they certainly didn't want anyone side eyeing the rate at which they disposed of the damn things, and let them suffer and rot after disposal. So as far as the official record was concerned, they didn't have brains.

Like most people in the belt, I found Rosie on a... unsponsored field trip to the Neptune scrap yards. She wasn't a ship then. She wasn't much of anything. Not much more than a vat with the central ganglia and just barely enough of the stem cells needed to regrow a network. But I took her all the same. Brains were valuable. Few pilots outside the Navy had them back then. Nowadays, a black market for "brain seeds", a cocktail of neuronal stem cells and enough structural stem cells to grow your own into the chassis of your ship. They were pumpin' em out, and leaving them to die. It was cruel. They may be vehicles, but they're a livin' being too.

But I digress. I'd never do that to Roseanna. I make sure she gets proper care. And for a good, proper, working ship? That includes some good, proper work.

The asteroid we were docked in was one of my usuals- good bars, nice temp quarters, nice views of the rock's orbiting twin, and a spacious hanger for Rosie to rest in. The chasiss I had imprinted Roseanna to was a 40-meter light skipper, with some adjustments for handling deep space trips. It was pretty much the smallest thing you could actually use to live and work for long periods of time, but it got the job done. The angular design made the entire ship look like a wedge, or the blade of a bulky dagger. It didn't hurt that each bottom edge was fortified with a sharpened titanium blade, turning the entire sides of the ship into axe-like rams.

Those would probably come in handy today.

I approached Roseanna on the catwalk above her, marveling her alloyed scales. I could almost see her shudder in anticipation as my footsteps vibrated through the air above her. I took the steps down, and hit the trigger to open her top hatch.

When the news got out of the Navy scuffling with a rebelling mining station, an electric air raced across the station. Some went about their day as normal. Some resigned themselves to picking at the leftovers after the dust had settled. And some, like me, knew that they could get the finest pickings.

I strapped in to the pilot's seat like it was an old boot.

"Welcome, Captain Victoria."

Rosie could talk, but more often than not, she chose not to. But she understood me just fine. Most of our communication took place using her three prerecorded lines- her welcome statement, affirmative, and negative- as well as the tiny screen showing a small, emoticon face. Many pilots chose to give their ships an elaborate render, but Rosie preferred it this way. It was the first face I gave her, from somewhere out of the scrap heaps, and she refused any offer I made to upgrade. Secretly, I was overjoyed. To me, that was her face. That was her voice. And it was beautiful to see her true self through them.

I brushed my hands across her paneling. Across the switches, the hydraulic controls for the plasma fuel, the steering, the boosts, the comms channels. The thing with biologics was that you were still the pilot. For whatever reason, they hadn't quite gotten to the point where the brains could take over their own piloting. My personal opinion was just that their personalities lacked the ambition to. But whatever reason that was, the best pilots were still the ones that knew both their ship, and the ship's brain. And me and Rosie? We knew each other well.

As my fingers touched the brushed aluminum controls, rimmed with chitinous layers rooting them into the ship, I could feel the walls around me holding their invisible breath. "Do you know what we're doing today, Rosie?"

Her tiny panel flickered on. ...?

"We got a scrap run."

^_^

:)

^_^

Her panel flicked between various expressions of excitement. My finger quivered on the main power, holding for a moment before flicking it on. The primary electronics of the ship hummed to life, and what Rosie controlled pulsed with it. My hands moved across the main functional panels- main hydraulic plasma valve, exhaust ports open, and finally, flicking the switch the start the plasma burner.

My hands gripped the steering. The hanger's airlock doors opened in front of me. My neck length hair started to float as the station's gravity shut off. I hit the switch to unlatch from the supports above. For a moment, we hang there. The dull crackle of the idling plasma burner is the only sound that resonates through Rosie's hull.

Go time.

I punch the boost.

[mewmewpercy]

After a lot of thinking and researching and scouring for info I've decided to break down exactly why I have such a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to RenHeng

Its the shippers because holy shit you guys are like actually so infuriating sometimes.

With all due respect(which is slowly waning the harder I try) they aren't canon. They also aren't implied. YingFeng are the ones that are married. I am not about to sit through another conversation with someone telling me I didn't play the right quests or pay attention because not only have I played these quests but I've watched them numerous times for data collection. If RenHeng was actually implied they wouldn't be attempting to kill each other every time they meet nor would Dan Heng have literal fucking nightmares about Blade with no change in their relationship.

Another issue yall have is making shit up. I don't spend an average of 25 hours a week rewatching vods of these storylines and quests and I don't spend hours upon hours scouring an entire fuckin region as a mobile player to be told I'm wrong about the story. If there's one thing I trust my knowledge on its this. Dam Feng did the immortality stuff for Baiheng who is almost definitely Bailu who got reincarnated from Foxian to Vidyadhara because of it. Yingxing was his helper which is why he's immortal yes but has no Vidyadhara traits. Baiheng got killed in a past war and they wanted her back easy as. Dan Feng didn't do it for Yingxing. Yes they may have been married or whatever but the fact remains they missed their friend and maybe he tried to help turn Yingxing into a long life species and we can say that's a headcanon but it isn't true.

Next thing I'd like to bring up is how some of you guys get about other ships because hoo boy I've seen shit. I don't know what it is about you guys and hurling the word homophobic at people who don't ship it but yall gotta stop. People not shipping your ship isn't homophobia its a fucking preference. If you don't like a ship dni or whatever(sounds ironic I'm sure but I try my hardest some of yall just love hate bombing other ships I interact with) but maybe don't spread slurs and threats and anger because someone prefers JingHeng instead? I live for the policy of ship and let ship but stop going into places you don't like and dragging others when they never once mentioned you.

Look I love hsr and I love these characters but it's specifically this group that makes it so hard to just enjoy safe spaces for my ships. Now on a lighter note I will say you guys are talented ass artists and writers because holy fuck even just scouring character tags on socials I've seen some beautiful stuff. Keep being awesome and talented just maybe don't be mean?

[kidflashimpulse]

It's me, hi, I'm the overexcited rambler it's me

I gotta HURRY UP with this one before reading your new fic (which I'm so excited about!!) so here goes my thoughts on chapter 13 because LORD I loved it!!

First off, Jaime was such an incredible character to read!! Effortlessly fitting in until a certain donut-stealing speedster tags along who ruins it all in the course of minutes😂😂, I really wonder how Jaime's day-to-day life looks like with having to hide Khaji Da from his groupmates, I hope it's not too much trouble but knowing Jaime I doubt it

But also the dynamic you wrote between them was really interesting! Jaime is forever a Mom Friend who will do anything and everything to make sure his friends are okay, even if it means frustrating whisper-fights during class or accidentally bringing his best friend to tears. Both times because of bringing up Owen (brilliant, by the way), I'm really curious as to how and why and when Bart told Jaime about his brother if it is such a sensitive subject and what Jaime's reaction was since he obviously thinks it's very important.

(I'd also very much like to know what the photo of Jaime and Tye is)

ALSO I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE WITH THE CIRCUS TICKETS, THAT WAS NOT THE REMINDER I NEEDED BUT HERE WE ARE (poor Bart lost in space and time)

I still have so much to say but that would just be too much so I'll spare you (this time)

All in all, you delivered once again, and now I'm going to read your new fic!!

the return of an icon, the legend themselves

it’s like u said, knowing jaime, he’s just that kind of guy who’s long-suffering 😭😭 u knw (very relatable if u ask me) and he rlly is the mom friend ! i’ve always been trying to nail the exact phrasing and ur so right lol

about owen, it wasn’t a one and done kind of thing, it’s like some tidbits jaimes accumulated just by knowing bart for the past (what, 4 years?) but also knowing about his actual background from practically the get go. i always thought that it gives decent incentive for bart to be straightforward about his past and by talking the two can work through some of their respective things. so through a combination of offhand comments and just him out right asking he managed to gather some stuff. bart would talk about owen overcompensatingly casually but then with each conversation jaime starts to realise how he talks about owen compared to jenni is pretty different and some other context clues etc…

jaime and tyes picture is 100% from them fcking around at some point during the summer, totally wasted lol i’ll leave it up to yalls imagination on how stupid they could get 😭

the poor bart lost in space and time kills me 😭 it’s funny cause it’s true SDFGHjK

never worry about having to spare me, u could come here with an essay of thoughts and i’d eat up each and every single word, thank u so much for reading and sharing ur lovely commentary with us 🙏❤️❤️

i hope u enjoy the new fic !! <33

[cannibaleather]

Ramble related to LRT cuz i gotta get it off my chest, it's topics of transphobia towards trans men so like if you don't wanna see that don't read.

That post is so real though and i didn't wanna derail in the tags cuz this is kinda spinning off of it rather than directly related, but i have noticed a prevalent push to degender trans men and refuse us our gender from other trans people which SUCKS. I mean, tboy isn't inherently a bad term in of itself (if you vibe w it hell yeah you vibe w it) but because of how i have seen it wielded i refuse to be called it, i hate it applied to myself, because i only ever see it being wielded by other trans people who will refuse to use He pronouns for us or call us men. They use it in 'discourse' to infantilise and refuse us our gender, it fucking sucks! It's just the same shit that people do when they refuse to call trans women trans women and will smash the words together or come up with new ungendered terms all because they're being transmisogynistic, like it's the different side of the same coin and it's NOT okay to talk about trans women that way so it's not okay to do to trans men either.

It's so fucking tiring seeing how any discussion about trans men will make sure to call us tboys or AFAB or whatever acronym replacement people have decided is the bio essentialist replacement for AFAB (that conveniently alienates and hurts all intersex people within our community) now, they will REFUSE to call us TRANS MEN. They will REFUSE to use He pronouns. All of a sudden trans people who know well and good it is still misgendering to call a trans person They when those are not their pronouns will be conveniently forgetting that fact. And the only things they'll talk about are how trans men have male privilege and therefore should shut up and not speak unless spoken to. We are not allowed our own discussions of our experiences, we are not allowed our discussions of the transphobia we face.

Which is misogynistic btw. They're being misogynistic because they see us as girls. It's very blatant if you look at how people talk about us. That's why they think we should be quiet, i swear to god other trans people are more misogynistic towards me as a man than cis people were towards me as a girl sometimes. The constant refusal to let trans men take up any space or have any right to their own individual discussions of self, the constant insistence we shut up, stay quiet, don't speak lest spoken to, the constant over sexualisation of our bodies while refusing us our gender, the deciding we are over sensitive or too loud or crazy if we talk back; yall hear what that is right? You do understand don't you? That's misogyny. We aren't exempt from being effected by it just because we go by different pronouns or transition, people who hate us will still wield it against us if they see us as women. Bigotry doesn't really care what you actually are in many cases, it can be wielded 'wrongly' against you by those who hate you. You can be hurt by misogyny even if you're not a woman.

Which brings us to the male privilege thing. We do not have male privilege. You need to understand how the patriarchy works, we do not gain some superpower that makes us immune to its harm when we start using he/him pronouns because the world does not see us as men. We are not categorised within the patriarchy as men. Even when we quote unquote "pass" (a reductive concept anyway considering it allows no nuance for how differently the concept affects those who are intersex nonwhite or not skinny or able bodied anyway) our position as men is entirely conditional to cis society. Perhaps we could manage to infiltrate the patriarchal structure and find a place in it amongst cis men, but realistically as soon as they know we are trans we will no longer be categorised within the patriarchy the same way as cis men. And it being so conditional and so dangerous to be found out does not sound like male privilege to me. It sounds like we are walking on a razors edge, terrified of being found out, shunned from cis society, shunned by our own fucking community who refuse to see masculine appearance as anything but bad, in constant danger and without support networks. Let me not beat about the bush here, do you think it's male privilege to know that if someone finds out mid intimate encounter you're trans they might kill you. Do you think it's male privilege to know you have to perform a certain way no matter where you are lest someone decide you're a "mutilated girl" and ruin your life for it. Do you think its male privilege to be denied your healthcare at any moment, to have to fight tooth and nail for the tiniest slither of hope to transition, to go through years and years of waiting lists and finally get on testosterone, all with the knowledge that at any point they could snatch it all away from you. I don't think it sounds like male privilege to me. And i am not saying trans men can't act oppressive to others, because i am not a moron who thinks oppression is some easily categorised thing; there are nuances, variables with race and class and any other thing you can think of. Trans men can be misogynistic. But i hate to burst your bubble, so can literally anyone else regardless of identity. If you do any reading at all on the patriarchy and misogyny you will understand that it is a poison that can be wielded by anyone, even those effected by it to get ahead in the crab bucket they're placed in. Trans men can be transmisogynistic. But again, so can literally anyone; and a trans man who's a transmisogynist isn't one because he's a trans man. But because he's a transmisogynist and he should be dealt with as such.

To be honest i also worry how this reductive idea of privilege is being applied to everyone else too; to nonbinary people, to trans women, to cis women, to people of colour, disabled people, the list goes on. Because if your idea of privilege is "if i think you look like a man you have privilege and do not need protection or care" i really worry about who is classified under your honestly transphobic binaristic "looking like a man" category. To bear my soul for a minute let me use myself as an example. I have been tall and broad shouldered with a fairly low voice my entire life. I have never looked like a 'woman' in the eyes of cis society. This did not grant me any privilege. This granted me the experience of walking into a women's bathroom when i was fifteen, before i even knew the word trans, and suddenly having the people in there stop talking and turn to stare at me. It granted at me the sickening feeling of my heart starting to race as i realised they'd started muttering. That they thought i didn't belong in there. That they thought not with kindness towards me, but that they wanted me out. It granted me knowing, for no reason other than what i looked like, i had been perceived as a threat and was now in danger. I was fifteen and i thought a group of adults might gang up on me and beat me because i 'did not look like a woman.' And this was not the only incident like this i have experienced through my life, nor no doubt will continue to experience now as a trans man even if i ever get to transition. Because of experiences like this i can't help but balk at this gender essentialist ideal people wield to hurt trans men and anyone who they class as masculine, because i can see that even if you do not care about us (which you should) you should care about everyone else who will be hurt by it AKA OUR ENTIRE COMMUNITY AND MORE. GENDERED PRIVILEGE IS NOT GIVEN TO THOSE CIS SOCIETY SEE'S AS PERFORMING GENDER WRONG NO MATTER FOR WHAT REASON. GENDERED PRIVILEGE IS NOT GIVEN TO YOU IF THEY THINK YOU ARE A TRANNY OR A FAG. YOU ARE GOING TO LEAVE YOUR TRANS SISTERS BROTHERS AND SIBLINGS TO DIE, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE NOT WHITE, SKINNY, ABLE BODIED OR PERISEX, ALL BECAUSE YOU HAVE SUBSCRIBED TO GENDER ESSENTIALISM AND BINARISTIC BLACK AND WHITE FALSITIES.

And of course i recognise all this reductive black and white thinking towards trans men is primarily just an online thing, because the majority of people being this reductive only think about how the internet works and not real life, they don't think about how an actual trans mans actual real life in a cis dominated world works because all they care about is online discourse and how to reduce everything down to simple black and white labels, when real life doesn't work like that. They want to find new ways to reduce us down to genitals now that AFAB and AMAB have fallen out of favour, they want to find new bitchy high school ways to bully people and refuse them from any thought of community in their heads because they don't want those unfavourable trans people in their group because this is a fandom to them not a community. And i recognise i should not care about a bunch of people online who never grew out of high school enough to develop actual grounded real-world applicable thoughts or any solidarity or empathy for people around them. But i live in a town that doesn't even have a pride event. I live isolated from anyone but my immediate family. I do not have a community to turn to that isn't the online one; so having the online community be so toxic and rancid and poisoned by this misogynistic, transphobic, patriarchal, binaristic gender essentialist bullshit upsets me greatly. I have exclaimed near tearfully to my fiancé that i can't look at any discussions of trans-ness online anymore, that i need to avoid interacting with anything to do with trans-ness because it always inevitably ends up hateful and spiteful. That's awful. That's horrendous. I'm cutting myself out of my own community, out of any ability to feel like i belong, like there are others like me. I avoid it all, i do not go in tags, i don't go near pride month stuff or solidarity stuff or positivity stuff anymore. Because i do not feel like i belong nor am welcomed in the community. I feel like i am hated, seen as a stupid girl, not wanted, in danger of being harassed and attacked and shunned, that people want me to detransition more than they want me to be a man. I want community, i want solidarity, and i wish i could just ignore all this shit and brush it off as just stupid highschool bully bullshit; but when so many of us are isolated and alone and the internet is our only fucking chance of community and solidarity i cant ignore it, because i need the community as a whole online to fucking do better for the sake of all of us. I do not want young queer kids to be poisoned by this shit and grow up hating themselves for things they can't change. I don't want trans men scared away from transitioning by their community, i don't want trans women poisoned with self hatred by their own community, i don't want nonbinary people feeling hated at worst or left out at best, i don't want people of colour and intersex people and disabled people and fat people shunned and left out and hurt by our binaristic views. It needs to be fucking better. We need to stop stupid fucking them vs us shit that doesn't reflect the way the real fucking world works. The world wants us fucking dead. We can have nuanced discussions about how to treat each other better without turning it into creating another black and white idea that doesnt reflect how we will be treated offline by the real ass fucking world. We need to love each other, we need to have fucking empathy and love in our hearts; this is not a fucking fandom or a friend clique this is a community born out of survival.

Final note. If you try to level these discussions and critiques i am putting forward here as coming from only one trans group you're a fucking moron and are doing exactly what i am speaking up against. We are all able to be guilty of this and we all need to do better about this regardless of identity. Which is to say: don't come on here going 'trans women are so mean' cuz why are you singling out just trans women fuckass. Fucking anyone can be like this, hell fellow trans men can be like this. This isn't about 'oh which identity is the BAD one and which is the GOOD one' this is about the entire fucking community needs to do better.

[lvlyhao]

『127′s ideal type』

headcanons, NCT 127

A/N: je suis back~ in these headcanons i talk about the type of person i imagine each member with, along with some of the traits i think they wouldn’t be too fond of. i did NOT include physical traits (ex: “would like a short/tall/blonde s/o”) because i really don’t know them??? lmao also that kind of thing could be a bit damaging to someone’s self esteem, and i want yall to know ur perfect & beautiful so

mark and hyuck will be included in dream’s version of this, and sicheng will be in wayv’s :)

today’s gif theme is just random gifs i like bc idc, there’s no aesthetic

as always, this is gender-neutral

IF YOU LIKE MY WORK PLEASE REBLOG IT AS WELL AS LIKING IT T^T

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡) and if you squint really hard angst (❆) bc of some REALLY small things that for me are not actual angst but oh well

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think none?? if you read this and find something you think should be here let me know please!!!

word count: 1.5K

pairing: nct 127 members x reader (includes taeil, taeyong, johnny, yuta, doyoung, jaehyun, jungwoo)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Taeil

I see Taeil getting with someone who’s not only mature (personality-wise, actual age doesn’t matter) but also very determined and decisive. He’d like a person that doesn’t change their mind about things too often, learns well from their mistakes and is just all-around balanced. Other traits that I think he’d look for: politeness, a MUST; grounded; good at giving advice. Pretty much a twin-flame of his.

I think he’d find it cute if they think in a detail-oriented way and appreciate the small things in life. A positive, grateful mentality would be SO attractive to him, I swear. 

One of his deal breakers would most likely be excessive jealousy and possessiveness. He trusts you and your love for him, and I think he’d feel distraught if you were constantly questioning the relationships he has with other people (friends, co-workers, fans, etc.)

Last important thing: needs a person that can take a hit. He’s probably looking for someone he can spend the rest of his days with, so a quitter just isn’t good for that. There will be difficult moments in the future and he needs to know they won’t give up on him and on the life he chose.

Taeyong

I think Taeyong would like a calm person that knows how to take control of the relationship. He probably feels tired sometimes from leading a group of 23 people, so I can imagine he’d be thrilled if he was able to not worry at all when he’s around his partner. He trusts they’re capable of dealing with any problems that may arise and keep their feet on the ground. Bonus points if they have a good relationship with themselves.

By that I mean: you know how people say you can’t truly love others until you love yourself? Yeah, that. He’s a person like any other, and there are times when he struggles with self-love, but he needs someone that doesn’t hate themselves, or he’ll simply go crazy. With his career come so many rumours and moments that tear at his confidence… he just doesn’t need a person that has to be convinced every single day that they’re worthy of the good things in life. 

I’d say, in general, all he asks for is someone that can watch out for themselves. He’d take care of them too, but he’d like it SO much if just for once in his life he’s the one being cared for. Would just melt on the spot if you have that caring, almost parental instinct in you. Gods, yes. That’s all I can say.

Johnny

I can see him being with a very bright, smart person. He’d like someone that comes from a different background so he could learn more about their life—whether that means the country they were born in or their field of work. I think he would appreciate a very laid back person that doesn’t get stressed too often and won’t make fun of him for his bad jokes. Also, doesn’t like people that try to play him. Honesty above all.

He’d like it if they are super curious and creative, too. Picking up new hobbies and interests is something he’d be up to anytime, and it doesn’t matter what it is either. He’d give anything a try—from knitting to marine biology, no questions asked.

Something he’d dislike is if the person is too materialistic. It’s not like he’s a completely spiritual being and lives with 0 detachments to objects but he’s a firm believer in what Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: what is essential is invisible to the eye. And, you know, what you truly find essential is up to you; it can mean family, friends, love, hope, all of that… he just wants you to love life itself as much as he does.

Yuta

He’d probably like one of the two drastic variants: a very gentle, sweet person or someone who’s on his level of flirtatiousness and boldness. Wouldn’t mind any, but he needs a strong personality, either way, you know? No blandness here. 

Something very attractive to him is being involved in social issues and caring for the world around you. Very sexc, yes, and also likes people that make others smile.

Something that would make him quite literally give up on someone is the excessive fear of change, or just the will to remain in their comfort zone at all costs. He earns for a person that wants to live life to its fullest. If not they’re not ride-or-die to that level, then he hopes they at least accompany and support him in all of the things he wants to do. 

One thing that is very tied to that is his dislike for know-it-alls. He lives in such a diverse scenario that it’s just dumb for him to think someone would ever be capable of knowing every piece of information on everything that’s out there. He’s fine with people making mistakes, but if they can’t admit to that or admit they don’t know something he just gets pissed off. So, yeah, he’d avoid stuck-ups.

Doyoung

He’d like someone very loyal and fair, who treats people with respect but calls them out if they ever have to. I think he’d prefer a person that is naturally a deep thinker and wouldn’t lose their mind over small disagreements. 

Much like Johnny, he likes that intellectual side of yours, and when I say that I don’t mean like “ah, he’d want to date a math genius” or something. No, no. I’m referring to all types of intellectuality and intelligence. The thing for him is simply using your brain and being proud of it. He would just dislike a person that kind of lives life on autopilot, you know?

He’d like it if they’re interested or professionally involved with music somehow and would consider their opinions in his career. He wouldn’t mind if their taste is hugely different from his, though. It’s alright if pop music is not your favourite or if you have no idea who EXO is (lol). All he wants is to see the world through your eyes too, in all aspects of life including this one.

Will also love you forever if you side with him when he’s being teased by the others, because, c’mon, it’s always 22 people against poor, defenceless Doyoung. Please don’t join them, he’s begging you—

Jaehyun

This is very, very clear to me but he needs to be with an independent person. He’s quite sentimental and he has his more romantic moments, sure, but he wants someone that can give him the space he needs when he needs it. A person that’s constantly begging him for attention would be way more of a burden than anything else.

Also, he’s 100% alright with someone that has a very explicit and loud love language (like saying “I love you” 300 times a day) but he’s not like that, and he needs them to see that. Jaehyun could NOT be with a person that doesn’t appreciate the love he shows in the little things, like making coffee in the morning, and if they ever question the way he feels… yeah, not good. He’d feel misunderstood and that’s a big no-no.

He’d find it cute if they’re bubbly or just very youthful but is also capable of falling for an old soul that shares his interests in things like classical music and vinyls. I don’t think he’d ever get with someone that's kind of a tech addict, though, idk why but that’s quite clear to me. Always being on your phone or caring too much about social media would probably make him feel like you’re not grateful for the things you have around you, in real life. So, yeah, not attractive, bestie.

Jungwoo

Jungwoo is a very, very, very sweet person and he needs someone who’s also like that. He wouldn’t care if that’s there for everyone to see, in the sense that they’re not shy about it, or if it’s a part of them that only a couple of close people know. As long as it’s there, he’s happy.

Aside from that, I think he’s fully capable of falling in love with quite literally anyone. He can see the beauty in all types of people, from all places, backgrounds, races, and just—anyone. He’s just so full of love for people, ah I can’t even. He’s too good for this world.

Some things that could, however, push him away from getting to know someone: a negative way of thinking, being too traditionalistic, and too much scepticism. He’s fine with people that like to honour the past and their roots but like, you’ve gotta keep up with the world you live in and accept that things change. I think that’s very tied to how much he likes defying masculine standards, too. 

The scepticism thing is quite simple: he can handle teasing just fine but if they’re constantly making fun of him for wearing his heart on his sleeve or being a bit goofy, he’d feel kind of betrayed.

---

final notes: this is the 3rd nct work i’m posting here and i’m already writing more, so i think it’s time i set up a masterlist, a fic rec blog and a tag list. if you want to be tagged in my future fics, let me know (dm, comments, anything) :)

[ppersonna]

organic - ksj | thirteen

a social media au

↳ summary- You agree to do your childhood best friend, Namjoon, a favor by working as his boss’s gardener.  However, Namjoon fails to tell you just how much of a rich ass Kim Seokjin really is. You hate him, and he hates you, so why does it bother you when his ex makes her way back into his life?

↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

↳ pairing- seokjin x reader

↳ warnings- 😬 smut, oral sex (m/f receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk, teasing, bratty!yn, brat-tamer!jin, unprotected sex (dont be dumb), aftercare (ig), lmaoooooo here we mf GO.

↳ a/n- omgomgomgogmogmogmogmomgomgogmg. thats all i gotta say yall.  also, so sorry but the tags are currently being VERY BAD and i am sorry if they didnt work.

taglist-

@rjsmochii @broke-bts-stan @kookiesjoonies @sistaflubs @sombreboy @brilliantlybasicb @sugarly-laysa @absoluteyoongit @chimoona @ladyartemesia @lemonjoonah @jinsearth @tiddieshakeshownu @hannahdinse8 @imluckybitches @55west81st @xoxrinaxox @remplazable-yellowpink @lustingstae @lidda @amoreguk @deadleaves278 @devotedlywriting @koostime @fangurl-ontgeside @hauntedlilies @gukniverse @simplymemyself @alyboo-jpeg @themyscirarey @taetaewonderland @jinhitwhore @softychimseok @amberaesthetics @lovesjenmoong @bangtansbun @garii71 @sweetnspicy93 

The house was empty. Too empty. 

The normally chaotic space of the living room, where all the roommates and friends usually joined was silent. 

You walked around aimlessly, still confused by Jin’s texts, and hoped to find someone to distract you, keep you from going into the bedroom Jin most certainly occupied. 

You couldn’t wrap your mind around the man. In one minute, you’d be daydreaming about his lips and the way he felt pressed up against you. The next, you’d be contemplating methods of murder and if you could bury his body next to the freshly planted rose bushes in the back courtyard. 

A sigh escaped you. No one was home. You were stuck with Jin.  

You grumbled under your breath as you made your way down the lush hallway.  Some friends. Didn’t even invite you out. Left you here with the extremely handsome, tempting, annoying asshole. 

The door opened before you even reached your hand out to grab the handle. Jin appeared with a sleazy smile. 

“Little vixen,” he said, grabbing your wrist. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

It was almost starting to get annoying. 

Jin motioned to the bed. Pretty, pink lingerie lay on the luxe fabric, arranged delicately yet with full intent displayed. 

“I can’t wait to see you in it,” Jin spoke. He moved closer. So close it made your throat swell up. His hands ran up and down your arm. “I knew you’d give in.” 

His words snapped you out of any sensuality you felt at his embrace.  Your hands pushed at the expanse of his chest. 

“I didn’t fucking do this!” You snapped. “Why the fuck would I want you?”

“You think I don’t notice the way you slide in bed towards me until you’re practically humping me?” 

Jin’s smirk was reaching levels you’d never seen before. He was pleased with himself, with this situation. You were sure if you glanced down his body you’d see proof of his arousal. But you couldn’t. You’d lose all ability to talk, to fight. 

“Okay, I was cold! That’s the only reason!” 

Jin tsk’ed and shook his head. 

“Darling, it’s okay. You’re meant to be my wife, you should know how your husband performs in bed. It’s natural to be curious.”

Your hands balled into fists. 

“I’m… not curious.” 

He quirked his head and smiled. “No? Not even a little?”

Jin stepped towards you again, this time slower and with heat. 

“Not curious how deep I can get inside you, how wet you can be for me?”

You would be lying if you said your body didn’t react, didn’t heat under his intense gaze. 

“Clearly, someone set this up,” you whispered, trying to navigate the conversation away from the topic of your wet pussy. 

“Did they now?” Jin asked as he played with a piece of your hair. “You sure it wasn’t all a ruse to get the worldwide handsome in bed with you?” 

“You’re so arrogant,” you snapped. “You think every woman is falling on their face to fuck you.”  Your words were sharp but lacked any of the heat behind it. 

Jin chuckled. “That’s because they generally are.”

His fingers trailed down your face, your neck.  His eyes were fixated at your collar bones, magnetized to the juncture of your throat and shoulder. 

“Well, I’m not.” 

“Say someone set this all up, say I believe you… you still aren’t putting up much of a fight.” 

Damn. 

Jin had you there. 

He continued before you could speak. “It’s almost like you’ve been wanting to find out more ever since I kissed you.” 

Your eyes closed in reply.  The kiss.  The god forsaken kiss.  

“You played me.” 

Jin sighed and tucked a stray hair behind your ear, eyes now level with yours. 

“It’s okay to be curious. About me. About us. I think about it too.” He admitted. 

It piqued your interest and made you swallow hard. 

“I think about what it would be like to have your fiery little body underneath me. Trying to be big and bad and headstrong while you’re getting stuffed full of my cock.” 

You couldn’t help the soft whine that left your lips, and you kicked yourself for allowing Jin to see your moment of weakness. 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He asked as he moved you towards the bed.  His eyes burned into yours and it felt like all the air in the room left, leaving you suffocating. 

“You want me to take control, to tame the little brat inside you. I can do that, baby. All you have to do is admit you’re the one who did all of this.” 

You fell against the bed with a soft thud, right next to the expensive lingerie. It was your style, your type. Even through the rage of Jin believing you were trying to seduce him, you can’t help but envision yourself in the lace and letting the man unwrap you. 

“It wasn’t me,” you whispered. “I wouldn’t buy something so expensive. You know I prefer secondhand.” 

Jin visibly recoiled and rolled his eyes. 

“I should spank you for that.  You don’t have to lie. You don’t have to save face. I know you did it, baby.”

“It wasn’t fucking me!”

Jin stared at you, eyes seeking answers in your own. 

“You’re such a petty bitch sometimes, you know that?” He stalked closer to you, pushing you down into the bed. “Such a little fucking tease.  You act like you hate me, yet you can’t stop looking at me. You can’t stop thinking about me. You made me get in bed with you every fucking night and still try to claim you hate me?” 

He looked infuriated.  It was scary as much as it was arousing. 

“Don’t you fucking get that I want you?” Jin asked as he pressed a finger under your chin to make you stare him down. “Do you not understand in that thick head of yours that you drive me fucking crazy?”

It’s the straw that breaks the camel's back. 

Instantly, you tugged him down and crushed your lips to his. You kissed him wildly, no finesse or skill. It’s all mouth and teeth and tongue.  Jin groaned into your open mouth, and you pulled away. 

“I didn’t fucking set this up,” you stated with intent. “But I will fuck you until you’re not a goddamn asshole anymore.” 

He never got the chance to retort any smart-ass remark—your hands pushed him onto the bed and your hands flew to his tight, teasing jeans. Your mouths melded together again with the heat of an oven, meshing together with all passion and fire of your argument now funneled into pure, sexual charge. 

Jin’s head rested on the pillows as you hovered above him, trying to tug at his jeans while maintaining a steady assault on his lips. 

He chuckled, his own hands coming to assist you as his tongue explored your mouth. He pulled away to kick the jeans off, leaving him in his expensive Balenciaga tight boxers. 

“God,” you groaned. You were part aroused by the impressive length pressing against the black fabric, half annoyed that his underwear likely cost half of your paycheck alone. “Fucking ostentatious rich asshole.”  

Jin couldn’t help but laugh out loud, but it quickly escaped him as your hand rubbed at his hot bulge, gripping tightly and gritting his teeth to keep from moaning. 

“Shit,” he sighed. “If you make me cum in these, I'm taking the cleaner fee out of your paycheck.” 

You made a show of rolling your eyes, moving down his body and tugging the fabric down along the way. 

“The fact that you get your fucking underwear dry cleaned…,” you sneered. 

You didn’t answer. You didn’t need to. Jin’s impressive length was now free and thick and hard in your hands. His expensive underwear fell to the floor without a care from either of you as you eyed the stiff cock in your hands. 

“Is it everything you’ve dreamed and fantasized of?”  He tried to act cool and collected, using his bravado to mask the absolute pleasure he felt at your delicate hand gripping him tightly. He was certain he would cum instantly if he wasn’t careful. 

“Hmmm,” you sighed as you gave long, languid pumps with your hand. “I mostly fantasized of kicking you here. But, I’m sure this will be a suitable way to shut you up, too.” 

Jin opened his mouth in reply but cut himself off with a strangled groan as your hot mouth descended, taking him fully to the hilt at the back of your throat.  His eyes nearly rolled back in his head as he felt your tight mouth envelop him and suck. 

Your mouth worked eagerly, licking and sucking as you began a pace.  You’re determined to suck the cocky attitude right out of him. And judging by the look that crossed his face—eyes glazed over in bliss, mouth ajar in pleased disbelief—you’d say you did an outstanding job at it. 

His hand moved to your head, a surprisingly gentle grasp in your hair as he held back pieces of your fringe that fell in your face.  Your heart thumped harder against your chest, eyes flickering up to his to gaze at him as your mouth continued its assault on his cock.

You cursed yourself the moment your eyes locked with Jin’s.  It would be easier to hate him, to think of this as a way to get back at him, if you hadn’t.  Now, all you saw was the side of Jin you saw before.  The sensitive, passionate Jin who kissed you deeply and held your hand through dinner.  The look in his eyes now spoke more than just of sexually charged thoughts—it spoke something tender too.

You quickly forced yourself back to the task at hand.  Your tongue swirled around the tip of his head.  You forced yourself to see this as sex, nothing more.  Your heart was too sensitive to allow other thoughts invading in.  What was it that Tae always said to do? Get the dick, secure the bag?

Oh, what did he know—wasn’t the boy head over heels for Jimin, anyway?

Jin’s hand tightened around your hair, encouraging you to come up for air.  Your hand kept a steady pace as your lips popped off his length.

“What? Enjoying yourself too much?” You teased as you used your free hand to wipe at the saliva running down your chin.  

Jin groaned as he watched your fist still work its way up and down his slick cock.  

“Mm,” he sighed and bit his lip. “Yeah, actually.  I don’t wanna cum yet.  Wanna save it for that bratty little pussy of yours.”

The words made your breath hitch in your throat.  

In an instant, Jin had you flipped over and you were prone to him.  The devilish grin on his face told you he had you right where he wanted you.

“I hope you had fun thinking you’re the boss,” he murmured as he sat back on his heels and unbuttoned his tight shirt.  “Daddy’s in charge now.”

The shiver you feel run down your spine makes you feel too vulnerable, too attracted and exposed to the man above you, now completely naked.  His body was cut to perfection, hard lines of his muscles exposed that made your mouth water.

“Didn’t realize you had a daddy kink.” Your attempt to sound bratty failed—both you and Jin knew it.  Your eyes were still locked at the way his lower abdomen formed a perfect V line, the slight thatch of hair just above his cock.  

“My eyes are up here, baby.”

Your eyes snapped up to him instantly, cheeks turning pink.

“It’s okay.  Don’t be shy.  Lots of women get overwhelmed when they see the worldwide handsome in the flesh like this too.”

His words rolled around in your stomach uncomfortably and you’re forced to face the reality that Jin does this—a lot.  With a lot of women.  And you’re overwhelmed by how jealous it makes you.  You want to be the only one underneath him, the only one able to graze your fingers down his chest, the only to cry out his name.

And the thought scared you.

So, you did what you did best—ignore it.

Jin’s hard, burning gaze bore into you.  His hands reached towards the tops of your jeans and you noted the way he ignored the patches of dirt on the knees from your day at work.  In fact, you’re surprised he even let you on the bed in clothes that were shabby too.

The jeans quickly left your body, and Jin hovered over your legs.  His hands trailed down the soft satin of your panties, barely covering your core.  Your body reacted instantly, thighs moving to press together, but Jin would have none of it.

“Ah, ah,” he warned.  “Don’t tell me you’re shy.  You never seemed so shy when you’re biting my head off.”

“Shut up,” you murmured, allowing your legs to spread apart again.  

Jin lowered himself between your thighs, fingers wrapping around the fabric.

“I see you’re wearing the panties I bought you.”

The look on his face told you he was proud of himself.

“I still hate that you made me buy underwear.  Not like you were going to see them.”

Jin sent a look at you, tearing his gaze from your soaked core.  

“Oh, then what do you call this?”

Your words caught in your mouth.  He got you there.

“...shut up.”

Jin grinned and moved his eyes back towards your cunt, pulling your panties down.

“So mouthy.  Someone needs to put you in your place.”

Your mouth opened in a gasp as the panties slide off, a string of slick arousal following it.  Jin can’t help but chuckle.

“For all that big talk, you seem to be very excited.”

The desire to be touched quickly outweighed the need to hold your own.  With your pussy open and exposed, and Jin’s eyes focused on it like it was his last meal, the burning desire in your stomach nearly bubbles over.

“Jin,” you gasped. “Please.”

“Now, look who’s begging.”

You wanted desperately to wipe the smirk off his face, to put him in his place, but your resolve quickly faded the closer he got to your glistening folds.

“You want me to eat your sweet pussy? Tell me you do.  Tell me it’s all you’ve wanted.”

The pride in your heart thuds hard—you can’t find it in you to say it but you ache for his sweet mouth, plushy lips, harsh tongue that would spear into you deliciously.

“Jin, fuck, please,” you begged.  “I can’t…”

“I won’t touch you if you don’t,” he explained. “You could be halfway to a screaming orgasm by now if you’d just suck up that pride of yours as well as you sucked my cock.”

Your body squirmed uncomfortably and his hands gripped your thighs, keeping you secured to the bed.

“Fucking say it,” he demanded and the timbre of his voice had your cunt pulsing around nothing.

You’ve finally had it.  

“Please! Jin! I fucking need you!  God, I always think about fucking you, are you happy?” You asked with frustration boiling over.  “I think about you fucking me all—fucking—day.  Please, I need you, daddy.”

Jin smirked at the sound of his honorific and knew he had you wrapped around his finger.

“Good baby girl,” he cooed.

His mouth latched onto your cunt in seconds.  His hands spread the folds apart and his tongue darted out to begin a licking motion on your clit.  Your eyes snap closed and mouth gaped open in silent pleasure.

“Oh, fuck!” You finally found your voice and your hands grasped at his brawny arms below you, fingers digging into his skin gently.  

Jin didn’t hold back.  His tongue worked your clit in a frenzy, knowing just where to suck and nibble and lick just right.  You hated to admit that for all his bragging he had the skills to back it up.

Your moans encouraged him more, and his hand worked its way in, two fingers slipping into your heat.  The added sensation made your back arc off the bed.

“Shit! Oh, shit!”  The combination of all the sensations made you keen and your core tightens impossibly.  “Oh, fuck, Jin! I’m going to cum!”

He smirked against you and kept his pace, increasing the speed of his finger as his tongue worked you to the height of your climax.

It washed over you—hard.  Your vision blacked out around the edges and you’re sure you stopped breathing for ten whole seconds, before your lungs burned and gasped in for air.

Jin pulled his fingers from within you and licked them clean.  The cocky aura surrounding him was gone.  Now, it felt worshipful.  It felt pious.

He didn’t want long before crawling up to you.  His lips pressed against your own, your own unsteady breath mixing with his as you tasted your own slick on his tongue.   The flavor of your cum and his mouth made you gasp. 

Jin pulled away and peered down at you, his thick length now lined up at your soaked core.

“Can I fuck you?”  Jin’s voice was gentle.  “I have condoms, if you want....”

You nodded your head quickly. “If you’re clean, please… just fuck me like this.”

You didn’t know what came over you—normally a good rule-following type of girl, but something deep down wanted to feel Jin, all of Jin, uninhibited.

His eyes sought into yours for a moment.  He held an emotion in there—one that you couldn’t quite recognize , and your heart clenched at the idea that anything other than lust flickered through his consciousness.

“Okay, I’m clean too,” he whispered as his length breached you. 

Jin pressed his lips to yours as his cock slid into you, tenderness lacing the movement as he stilled inside you.  He held you there for a moment, hands moving to cup your face.  His hips remained motionless, and you both melted at the feeling of your bodies joining.

You forced yourself to look away from whatever emotion Jin was trying to reveal through his gaze and moved your hips slightly to encourage him.

He seemed to get the idea and quickly slid himself in and out.  The feeling of his bare cock stuffed inside you, each ridge and vein dragging itself in and out of you, felt better than any sex you’d ever had.  

Jin’s pace became quicker, and the tender sensuality became quickly replaced with raw passion and lust, which loosened the feeling of vulnerability you felt before.

“God, you’re taking me so good,” he gasped as he plunged himself deep into you, as if to make a point.  “You’re so fucking tight and wet for me, fuck, baby.”

Your moans echoed off the luxe walls, and you threw your head back against the fine egyptian cotton pillows.  As much as you wanted to hate the display of wealth, you couldn’t help but be grateful for Jin’s need for expensive fabrics.  They felt like heaven against your bare skin, and the friction of Jin’s movements made them rub on you deliciously.

“Yes, fuck!” You exclaimed.  “You feel so good!”

There was no need to hold back the praise, and you had no desire to either.  Jin was fucking you so good that any ideas of hating him had left the second he entered you.

Jin let his head drop to your ears—whispered praises of how good you were, how fucking tight you felt.  He continued as he pounded you deeply and pulled your body close to his, as if he couldn’t get close enough.

It didn’t take long for you to feel your second high coming.  Jin’s cock hit just the right places, and he dropped a hand to your joined centers to rub at your clit, encouraging your climax to spiral towards the end.

His pace became frantic as he fucked you with fervor and no finesse, hips snapping and pistoning into you as deeply and quickly as he could.  Idly, he realized he wished he could be buried in your cunt forever, that he’s likely never felt such a better pussy in his life.  And he didn’t want to allow himself to think too hard about what that meant.  

He could feel it building, climbing to an ever growing peak that he felt on the brink of summiting.  His breath hitched, yours panted heavily, and he felt hypnotized by the way your cries escalated to near screams.

The chase to the end was quick, as Jin quickly worked himself up to his climax as your cunt became tighter and fluttered around his cock the closer you edged to the end.  Jin groaned as the feeling inside of him snapped.  It pulsed with each shot of his seed into your womb--and he groaned as he felt your walls clench around him as you soared over your own edge.

His name was the only thing you could scream as he kept his pace, allowing your walls to milk him dry.  He held himself inside you, allowed him the chance to soak in the feeling of you and him mixing as one.

Your come-down from the orgasm felt slow, languid.  Jin’s body laid next to you and his cock still nuzzled deep inside your walls.  It felt secure.  It made you feel safe, love, full.  Your heart beat erratically, combined with the exertion of the act and the physical proximity of the man now lying next to you, breathing just as hard.

His arm wrapped around your waist and he pulled you in tight, only allowing his cock to slip out of you after he was sure you were secure in his arms.  His forehead pressed against yours—eyes seeking your own with that same, tender look from before.

No words were spoken for a moment, just the silence and combined breath of your exhaustion.

Jin kissed you, then.  Deep, soft, loving.  It felt too real.  Too much.  It bothered you how much you loved it and wanted it to continue.

“Do you,” he began, before pausing for a moment. “Do you want to maybe… stay longer than a week?” 

You bit your lip, pondering his request.

Did you want to leave? Did you want to return to a life of working for the man you just let cum inside you?  Could you still pretend to be his wife after experiencing this and walking away?

Did you even want to pretend at all?

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Yeah, I think I kind of like this gaudy house.”

Jin’s soft smile turned into a smirk and his hands gripped your waist tighter.

“Next thing you know, you’ll be shopping only at Armani.”

“In your fucking dreams, daddy.”

[puppy-phum]

fic tag game

thank you so much for tagging me @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥ i love rambling about my fics and my writing even if it always also brings up all the doubts and insecurities i have but. these are my children so i will show them some love :’) and it is always just wonderful to share this all with you my dear ♥

placing under cut bc i do ramble, as yall know to expect by now!

Name: VishCount i’ve already explained the origin of that name a couple of times so am sparing you from that but gotta just say that i never expected to get so fond of this username and the nicknames that followed ♥

Fandoms: wow ok so buckle up, this is gonna be a ride first i gotta mention the finnish fandom for this youtuber group called LaeppaVika. i adored them as a teenager and i still watch the videos sometimes :’) couple of the members still stream stuff even if the group has pretty much fallen apart by now and am just very fond every time. they feel like home in a way. those fics were my first ones and am still kinda proud of some of those?

then there’s this one random finnish utapri fic i once wrote... tbh i’m not sure why my anime fandoms never made me write anything? maybe it was the inexperience and the fear of using a second language lol 

after i got over that and got into BTS, i’ve written a ton for them. most of those are oneshots that vary from 1k words to 10k or something. a couple of longer ones have sprouted too and one is still in the making and i have sooooo many ideas. mostly just random aus. i adore to write those. 

lately MDZS has been my favored fandom and it has gotten some oneshots too as well as my gigantic xicheng fic that hangs somewhere well above 100k now. i wish to finish the last part for that soon but who knows, maybe it will take longer than expected sigh. and now DMBJ has pushed in as something that yells at me to write tho i’ve only posted a short oneshot for it for now. and oh, last year i also posted a couple of silly oneshots for 2moons! that was... weird tbh but am glad i did that. 

i wish i had more fandoms tbh bc there is so much interesting stuff there and i have so many ideas and inspirations but i’m very slow at writing. things don’t always just come out and some fandoms don’t grasp me for long enough that i would be able to tap into any projects. but i have no hurry, right?

Tropes: hmm do i have any? am not sure. i thought that maybe soulmate aus or some abo stuff was my thing but i’ve slowly drifted away from those. then it comes to just... idk. hurt/comfort? found families? i also adore slow burn these days and i feel like i’ve gotten a bit better at writing that but it’s still a struggle. also just, as already noted, all these different aus? mostly fantasy based ones. those are always so cool and somehow very whimsical? and lately i’ve also just fallen into this hole where i love to write some bittersweet tragedies or at least stuff that feels like a tragedy in some sense (and i blame my dear kiddo for that bc they’ve written the sweetest of tragedies and i want that too ok)

Fic I spent most time on: how do you count this? do wips count? bc if they do, then I feel like my xicheng fic called you’re the sunset and i’m the last purple left behind is it. it just keeps on going and i feel like i’ve given it all of my waking hours and heart and soul.  then it could also be my BTS abo fic My Lungs for You to Breathe that is slowly reaching its second year? am not sure. but it has been going for ages bc sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes and currently i’ve spent over six months without updating it and. yeah.  (it would be nice to mention some fic here that i’ve made some research for but tbh i never do any research. am horrible like that but i’ve never just. had the energy? tho i have hopes that i could go on this wild research spree for this one guardian idea i have but let’s see...) 

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: (making a list bc am unable to choose, fight me)

and you remain - my pingxie oneshot that just helped me to get all of the feelings i had after tlt2 pour out. am very fond of it destiny tied us together - some introspection of lwj and jc’s relationship and how it changes throughout the years as they both mature, learn things about themselves, fall in love and realize that they share the same ppl in their hearts (and maybe develop a tentative friendship bc they’re so similar in so many ways). i had so much fun with this and it just felt like my brightest moment haha painting your skin with all of me - the xicheng soulmate oneshot i wrote at some point and still adore. it just seemed to work and in the middle of my xicheng struggles writing them so briefly and gently just felt right pouring love (growing flowers) - the ot7 oneshot i wrote bc of this one amazing twt prompt/moodboard. it was the last part of my mono series. i love it so much. joon was so nice to write throughout the whole thing ;;  lilies bloomed under your carpet - my god au for taejoon. it poured out of me so wonderfully and it was so amazing. still one of my favorite creations, this whole au.  Stories Untold / chapter 3 - this was a collection of taejoon oneshots that i was trying to make but am not sure if i will ever finish them all. but this one, where tae is a forest god and joon a human able to see supernatural things, is very dear to me bc it just feels complete

Fic I spent least time on: gosh i think it must be either my first wangxian oneshot we had it almost or my touch-starved joon oneshot show me my skin and touch my heart with very soft and lovely taejoon. both created themselves in a couple of hours?

Longest fic: currently my xicheng monster but i somehow expect my bts abo fic to get even longer if i ever manage to finish it

Shortest fic: it’s apparently my namseok fic for joon’s tokyo called missing you (i’m homesick). it created itself out of my own experiences of living in a long distance relationship and is one of my faves in that series.  

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: most hits and comments go for my bts abo fic which doesn’t really surprise me when it’s a multichapter fic :’D most kudos go for the already mentioned xicheng oneshot and most bookmarks go for the bts ot7 fic!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: hmm if i could rewrite something, it would probably be my first bts fic and my second long fic called Even the Universe Makes Mistakes. that soulmate au now feels a bit outdated and there are many parts i would like to change and things i would love to think again.  then if i was allowed to expand some world, i would love to write more for the xicheng soulmate au bc there are many other pairings i would love to explore there too or just to see lxc’s take on the events perhaps. other thing would be my namgi oneshot it passes (for us both) bc i adore namgi and the love they create in that brief moment. 

Share a bit of a WIP: it hasn’t been long since i shared snippets of several wips but let’s go with my pingxie which i’ve been working on and am just so damn excited about (especially now that i can use the bazaar photoshoot imagery as inspiration):

“He moves, pulled in by the darkness of the lake, mirroring the softly blue sky with its gray, heavy clouds. The snow lands on his nose, into his lashes, clings to his coat and his shoes. He doesn’t feel cold, doesn’t hear anything beyond the softness of the snowfall. Nothing exists and everything does, real and fake at the same time, comforting but still making him feel afraid.

He could lose himself here, could be lost from everything. He could stay and be forgotten, could join those people that tried to make him remain, could take the easier way. He could rest, just like he was supposed to do so many times before.

Maybe he does belong, after all. Maybe he is part of this place, so awfully familiar with it, so willing to even stop his own heart to get here. And maybe he is not, this place only hungry for those who don’t yet remain, refuse to give into this dream-like space.”

thank you once more for tagging me my dear! this was fun even if looking back to my old fics and all the lack of updating and posting these days makes me feel kinda bad... i’ve just been in a slump lately and am slowly trying to get out of it even if i almost fall back in all the time. it’s funny when last spring i felt like i was at my peak sigh. but well, as i’ve already said, i have time right?

i dunno so many writers over here but i’m tagging @cross-d-a and @kholran bc i’m curious about your work. also tagging @inkblue-black and @jockvillagersonly if you want to blabber about something or if you just want to see this. and oh also tagging @wangxianbunnydoodles bc am always open for new ppl and i know that you write ^^ 

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Snowed In p6

This gave me such a hard time but I needed this conversation to happen for like 50% of the plot shit down the road, plz forgive me. 

Pairing: Geralt x fem!reader

Warnings: hella awkward convos, pining, self depreciating undertones?, talking about sex? idk yall im tryinna tag these with everything i can think of but if i miss something plz let me know!

Summary: (Last part was pure smut, but for those who skipped, it was basically them justifying a good roll in the hay bc it would help them sleep) The day after some completely pragmatic and not at all monumental sex they’re figuring out where to go from there. Boundaries and such?

__________

part 5 here!

You woke slowly, uncomfortably warm and… sticky? 

As reality came into focus you realized the stickiness was sweat from being plastered to Geralt's bare chest as you slept. You wriggled a little, loosening his hold on your hips so you could scoot back and see his face. He was still fast asleep, hair sticking to his stubble and mouth slightly open. He looked so much more innocent, almost juvenile when he slept. It made you want to protect him, as ridiculous as it sounded. 

Your hand reached up on its own to brush the strands of hair away from his face. When he didn't stir you trailed your first two fingers down his jawline, gently dragging the backs of your knuckles up over his cheekbones. You knew he could wake up at any moment, and it would be uncomfortable to explain why you were staring at him like he alone breathed life into you every day, but you continued tracing the peaks and contours of his face. 

If you let yourself think about it, he technically did. He got you up every morning, did anything you asked to help you, and everything you didn't have the stones to ask. This man made space for you like no one ever had and accepted the mess you brought with you, going so far as to help you sweep it into a manageable pile. 

You swallowed back the lump forming in your throat as you realized just how much of a mess you'd made for yourself this time. You'd fallen in love and set yourself up for nothing but pain.

The snow would melt, you two would join Jaskier on the other side of the pass, things would go back as they were, and you would fall asleep alone. 

You took a slow deep breath in and savored the peace for the last couple of moments you could before your heart would burst. Gently lifting Geralt's arm, you rolled up to sitting as slowly as possible, watching him the whole time. When he still didn't wake, you snatched up your clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom. 

He was still asleep after a towel bath and meticulously braiding your hair, softly snoring now. You couldn't help but feel a little proud of yourself for tiring him out so thoroughly.

Sitting down next to him you squeezed his shoulder, "Geralt. Hey, wake up." 

He grumbled something about it being early and patted the bed where he thought you were supposed to be before his eyes snapped open.

"There he is." You cooed, reluctantly pulling your hand away.

He squinted and furrowed his brow against the morning sun, pushing himself up on one elbow, "You're up. And dressed." 

Now, you knew you were manufacturing the disappointment in his words, but it still hit you just as hard. You sprang to your feet, kicking the contents of your bag back toward the corner with a little more vigor than necessary, "Woke up hungry. C'mon, get up." 

"Alright, alright." He grumbled, rolling over and reaching for his neatly packed bag.

Breakfast was uncomfortable, to say the least. 

Geralt didn't lean his knee against yours and you weren't sure if you missed it or were relieved he spared you the adrenaline rush. Though when he brushed against your arm reaching for the salt and you nearly jumped out of your skin. The neighbors sat across the table from you and one of them winked at you, almost making you choke on your oats. As soon as Geralt was done with breakfast you cleared both your plates and made a beeline for the door. 

You lead the way out to the barn, excited to see the caverns in the snow your fight had left the week before were still uncovered by fresh snow. You fumbled with the latch, not entirely paying attention, so Geralt reached over your shoulder and flicked it open himself. He was so close you felt his breath on your neck and the heat coming off of his chest. Everything in you wanted to lean back into him, but that might be breaking a rule and these rules were becoming ever more nuanced. 

You went about your usual business feeding and examining the horses and were about to leave, but Beau looked so sad and bored. Poor guy hadn't gotten more than a walk up and down the breezeway in a month and you could see the pent up energy in his eyes. You sighed and grabbed hold of his mane, swinging up onto his back and laying back over his haunches while he ate. This felt like a good place to slow down and examine your options with this whole "friends" business. 

"Y/N?" 

Or it would have been. 

"Stall." You answered, not sitting up even when you heard him slide the door open. 

"What're you doing up there?" Geralt's voice had that same confusing, unidentifiable tone he'd used when he'd left you in the bath. 

"He looked so lonely. You don't just spend time with Roach?" You spared him a glance, noting how casually he leaned against the door, arms crossed so that his collar slipped down to show the marks from your nails digging into his skin.

He shrugged, "She gets tired of me." 

Beau walked across the stall to sniff Geralt’s pockets and nudge his hand when he smelled what he was after. You shifted to stay balanced on his back, absolutely no intention of coming down any time soon.

The silence between you that crept on and on was in no way comfortable. You fidgeted while Geralt pet Beau, giving him a treat here and there when he smiled for him. Normally you’d be amused, now you were just angry at yourself.

You swung a leg over Beau’s withers, spinning to sit sideways facing Geralt, “You’re rather quiet.”

“I’m always quiet.”

You shook your head, frantically searching for the words you needed, testing the waters,“I ah… I had a good time last night.”

He quickly glanced at you before focusing back on Beau trying to eat his gloves, “Mhmm... Haven’t slept that well in months.”

There was a beat where you debated leaving it there, but you were never one to quit while you were ahead, “This doesn’t have to be weird, does it? I don’t want things getting tense.”

Geralt finally locked eyes with you, searching your face for something, “No… if you’re uncomfortable-”

“Which I’m not.” You interrupted.

He tilted his head, a softness taking over his face that you rarely saw, “You’re my best friend. As long as you’re okay with it, I am too. It’s just sex, after all.”

You nodded, “Just sex. Yeah. We- heh, we didn't even kiss...”

“Exactly. What are friends for?” Geralt playfully swatted at your boot, giving you a grin. 

What are friends for…

You plastered a smile on your face, changing the subject before the emotions bubbling in your chest boiled over, “Jaskier is gonna kill you when I tell him you said I’m your best friend.”

He moved to stand in front of you, crossing his forearms and resting them on your knees. His touch was calming, grounding you back into reality as he usually did.

He squinted up at you, “That’s if you tell him.”

You patted his hand, “Oh, I’m definitely telling him.” you teased. 

He gripped your wrist and quickly spun to face away from you, pulling you forward and off Beau's back. You squeaked and gripped onto his shoulders when you landed on him. He laughed, giving a little jump to get you higher on his hips and get a hold of your knees. A giggle slipped from your lips, partly due to surprise, but partly because his grip on your knees tickled.

"I'll tell him it was you who dropped the sword on his lute strings." Geralt made his threat halfheartedly, carrying you out of the barn only to have you steer him back to grab your gloves that you'd left on the hay. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, taking your opportunity to hold him close to you as possible, resting your chin on his shoulder. His warmth and his scent lulled you into a state of content as he took his time meandering back to the inn. Just before he reached the door you noticed a fresh snowflake on your elbow. 

"Motherfucker." You shouted, "It's snowing again." 

"Shit! Y/N, you're right in my ear." He tried to turn to look at you but you tucked your head against his neck, hiding almost like a child. 

"Sorry. I forgot…" you whispered, more out of embarrassment than anything.

He hummed, the vibrations permeating your whole body from where you were perched as he yanked the door open and stomped inside. You wiggled, communicating you could once again walk just like a toddler, but he just hoisted you up higher and trudged up the stairs. You bit your lip, hiding a smile on the basic principle of not wanting to feel it, not necessarily because anyone important could see you. 

When you reached your room Geralt rather unceremoniously collapsed onto the bed, sending the two of you bouncing for a bit before he came to rest with his shoulders on your hips. 

"Tired?" You asked, fighting the urge to rake your fingers through his hair.

"Exhausted." He made no effort to get up but rested his hands underneath the outsides of your knees. 

You sighed in agreement and rested your hands on his shoulders, "Post breakfast nap sounds nice."

I can handle this. I know the boundaries. Just don't kiss him. That should be easy enough ...

__________

part 7 here!

gotta edit bc im a scatterbrain and forgot to tag! If you want to be tagged plz let me know! 

@ab-haya @fire-in-her-veinz @cavillhavoc

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Two for One

Fandom: Marvel (Professor AU/College AU)

Pairing: Stucky x F!Reader

Summary: Ever since you became the TA for Professor Romanoff, you’ve been seeing a lot of Professors Rogers and Barnes. They seem to be attracted to you, but you have a hard time deciding between the two. What do you do?

Warning: smut - bjs, threesome, semi-public…just a whole lot of naughty mk?

A/N: based off of this post and my tags in it. also, word count is about 4.1k. so yall better appreciate this and the struggle i went through to write this (i’m looking at you @chloerinebarnes )

Steve was sure that if Bucky bit his lip any further, he’d draw blood. He nudged his boyfriend with his elbow, gaining his attention back, “Cool it with the staring and lip biting. You’ll scare her off.”

Bucky groaned, “She’s killin’ me with those jeans, babe.”

Steve snorted, “Tell me about it,” he murmured as his eyes went back to across the lounge. You were standing off to the side, speaking with Professor Romanoff, the teacher you were a TA for. You were nodding to everything that she was listing off for you to do. After handing you a stack of papers, you saw yourself out of the lounge. Bucky and Steve’s shoulders sagged in disappointment. 

Ever since you became Professor Romanoff, aka Natasha’s, TA, Steve and Bucky have been seeing you more and more. Not that they minded. You were beautiful, funny, and smart. Honestly, you were the missing puzzle piece in their life. 

Don’t get it wrong, Steve and Bucky were completely devoted to each other. But for the past few years, they’ve been feeling like they were missing something. And they believe that something is you. 

But how does one go about proposing a polyamorous relationship? You don’t. It’s not a very common thing and it’s not accepted in a lot of places. Nonetheless, Steve and Bucky adored you from the moment they met you. 

So, they hatched a plan. They would worm their way into your heart individually and when it came to the point where you “have to choose”, they’ll give you the other option: a two for one deal. 

_________________________

You’re in the school cafe, a pile of papers off to the side that you’re making your way through. You suddenly feel a presence looming over you and you look up to see Professor Barnes. 

You give him a polite smile, “Hey there, professor! How’s it going?”

“Monday mornings were never my thing hence,” he gestured to his large coffee cup.

You snorted, “Tell me about it,” you pointed to your own, “This is my third one already.”

“Mind if I sit?” he points to the seat across from you.

You shook your head, “Not at all!” you move your things around to give him a little bit more space, “Enjoy your weekend?”

He shrugged, “Just stayed home, watched some Netflix, graded papers. The usual.”

You nodded, “That’s become my usual now too. Although, yesterday my friends Pietro and Wanda dragged me out of the apartment to go to a bar. Gonna be honest, had a bit too much.”

“That explains the coffee and you still grading papers that are probably due today.”

You sighed, “Yeeeaahhh. Never listening to the twins again,” you said with a snort. 

“I wish I could help. Russian Literature was my minor. But I’m sure if Nat found out, she’d have both our heads.”

“Definitely. Romanoff’s great, but, damn, does she terrify me!”

Barnes snorted, “Same here.” he stood up and grabbed his coffee, “Well, I’ll let you get to it. Good luck.”

“Thanks, Professor Barnes!”

He smiled down at you, and with a wink, he said, “Call me Bucky,” and he waltzed out of the cafe like it was nothing. And you hated to admit that that little gesture made your cheeks heat up and make your panties slightly damp.

___________________

You were struggling with holding the pile of graded papers in your arms and trying to get your notebook out for Romanoff’s class. Just when you thought you had it, all the papers tumbled forward onto the ground. You groaned and hung your head back, staring up at the sky asking, “Why me?”

You bent down and began to collect the papers, and then another pair of hands came into view. You tried to object, “It’s okay! I got-” when you looked up, staring back at you was he striking blue eyes of Professor Rogers, “I-I got it, Professor Rogers,” you stammered as you quickly collected the essays.

“It’s alright. I don’t mind helping,” he said with a shy smile, grabbing the leftover papers and handing them to you. You both stood up and awkwardly stood there, “So, uh, headed to Nat’s-I mean, Romanoff’s office?”

You nodded, “Yeah. Gotta turn in all these papers I graded.” you gestured to the pile that was back in your hands. 

“Oh, well, my office is in the same direction. I’ll accompany you.”

You two walked together, towards the Literature and History building, “So, uh, how was your weekend?”

“Oh, uh, pretty bland, honestly. Just hanging out and grading papers. What about you? Did you spend your weekend grading all of these?” he points to your pile.

“Sorta,” you answered, “I got most of them done. Then I went out last night. Got drunk and never finished the rest. I just finished up in the cafe. Professor Barnes was actually there too. Surprised you weren’t with him. You two are usually attached to the hip,” you say teasingly.

Rogers snorted, “Please, I couldn’t shake ‘im even if I tried. We actually live together. We see a lot of each other and you would think we’d get sick of each other. But we don’t.”

“That’s good. I love Pietro and Wanda, but, God, I don’t think I can spend every second of the day with them.”

He chuckled, “Guess you just gotta find the right people that’ll make you want to see them all the time.”

Soon enough, you were in the building, standing in front of Professor Romanoff’s office, “Well, here’s my stop,” you say.

“Yeah. Anyway, I hope you have a good rest of your day, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Professor Rogers. You too!”

“Please, call me, Steve,” he says with a grin and then turns around, heading for his office in the other direction.

___________________

Bucky is eating lunch in Steve’s office. Steve is typing away at his computer, occasionally pausing when Bucky feeds him a forkful of penne pasta into his mouth. 

“So, progress?” Bucky asks, his own mouth full of pasta. 

Steve chews a few more times before swallowing. He takes off his glasses and sets them onto his desk, “Told her to call me Steve after I helped pick up her papers that she dropped and accompanied her on the way to Nat’s office. She said she came from the cafe and you were there?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah. Grabbed some coffee, sat with her and chatted a little bit. When I left, I told her to call me Bucky. You still think we should do this?”

“I really like her, Buck. I just-don’t you feel it? That spark with her?” when Bucky nodded, Steve continued, “Then can you imagine how it would be if all of us were together?”

“It’d be like nothing we’ve ever felt before,” Bucky murmured.

“Exactly. We gotta try, but we can’t be too overbearing. She’s gotta be the one.”

Bucky set down his tupperware of pasta and rest his hand on Steve’s, “She’s out missing puzzle piece.”

___________________

You sat in the lounge next to Professor Romanoff, or Nat, as she’s allowed you to call her. You’re both going over test grades and that’s when you hear the screeching of wood against the floor and then you look up to see Bucky and Steve settling across the table from you.

Your eyes brighten and a smile appears on your face, “Hey, Bucky! Hey, Steve!”

Big grins appear on their faces when you acknowledge, “Hey, doll,” Bucky says, and you feel your cheeks heating up. 

You duck your head down, biting your lip and continuing to grade papers. You hoped that Nat ignored that interaction, but she didn’t. While you continued to grade papers, Nat gave questioning looks to the professors across from her. Both gave her shrugs and pulled out their own work that needed to be done. 

Words started to blur as your eyes skimmed through another test, your red pen marking wrong answers. You could feel yourself getting a headache so you groaned and fell back into your seat, “I need a break. I’m gonna walk to the cafe. Do you guys want anything?” Nat and Bucky shook their head but Steve stood up.

“I’ll go with you. I think I need to stretch my legs anyway.” he turns to Bucky and gives him a nod, and then follows you out of the lounge. After you both leave, Nat turns to Bucky.

“What the hell are you guys up to?”

“Steve and I both like Y/N, so we’re trying to ease our way into her heart and possibly propose a poly relationship.”

Nat groaned, “Jesus Christ. You know what happened the last time you tried that. You and Steve ended up heartbroken and nearly broke up because of it.”

“Dot wasn’t right for us,” Bucky said with a shake of his head, “But Y/N’s different. You know she is, Nat.”

“Maybe so, but then again, you hardly know her.”

“And that’s why we’re trying to spend as much time as we can to get to know her.”

Nat shook her head, “You’re playing a dangerous game. She’s a student.”

“She’s graduating this year. Once she’s graduated, then Steve and I will ask. Trust us, Nat. We learned from the last time and we know what we’re doing now.”

____________________

“So, the semester is half way over and you’ll be graduating soon. Have any plans on what to do?” Steve asked, his hands curled up in his pockets. 

“Travel. Find a job. Maybe find some love on the way. I don’t know.”

“Not looking for love right now?” he asked with a teasing smirk. 

You shrugged, “Oh trust me, I’ve been looking. Just haven’t found anyone that clicks with me, ya know? Someone funny, smart, compassionate, independent. Oh and knows how to cook. It’s surprising how many people here barely know how to cook.”

Steve snorted, “Bucky loves to cook. He cooks our meals all the time. I know how to cook too, but for Bucky, it’s his stress reliever. He’s in his element when he cooks, plus everything is delicious when he makes it.”

“I’d love to try something other than ramen and burgers.”

“I’ll bring you some tomorrow. Buck loves to cook for other people so it won’t be a problem.”

You shook your head, “I can’t ask you guys to do that. You don’t have-”

“You’re not askin’, sweetheart. Plus, we want to do this. Trust me.”

You sighed, “Fine.”

Steve was beaming right then and there, “Great. Do you have any food preferences?”

“Surprise me.”

_____________________

It became a regular thing after that. You and Nat would be in the lounge going over lecture notes or grading papers. Steve and Bucky would appear and slide over some tupperware for lunch that Bucky had prepared for you. At one point, they started bringing some food for Nat too since she complained about them not bringing food for her. Plus, they didn’t want to seem too suspicious. 

As the semester progressed, you found yourself in the company of Steve and Bucky often. Sometimes it was both of them, sometimes it was one or the other. You’d have lunch with them, walk with them to class or the office building. Relax under some trees while you graded papers. You also ended up getting both of their numbers and all three of you would be in a group chat texting away or texting to either men individually. 

You were around them a lot and you couldn’t help the feelings you were starting to develop for both them. It was conflicting. Very much so. You were a student and they were professors. 

It was a month before the semester ended, before you graduated, and you’d had enough. Enough of the feelings and the confusion. It had to stop!

So you burst into Bucky’s office where you knew both men would be. As soon as you step into the room, you freeze. There right before was Steve and Bucky, but they were tangled up in each other, making out. 

“I’m so confused,” you murmured as they stared at you wide-eyed. 

“Doll, I-we-”

“I-I should go. Sorry. I didn’t-I’m gonna-” 

You turn to leave but Steve cried outs, “Y/N, wait!” and you stop. You look at them and they’re staring at you with pleading eyes, “Sweetheart, please, don’t leave. Just-Just close the door and we’ll explain everything.”

Slowly, you move back inside, closing the door behind you. You sit at the chair across from Bucky’s desk. Bucky sits back down into his seat and Steve stands off to the side, running his hand through his disheveled hair. 

“Are-Are you guys together?” you ask apprehensively. When both men nod, you let out a shaky breath, “I-I don’t understand. Both of you made it seem like you were interested in me. Were you just toying with me? Is that it?!”

“No!” both said unison. 

Steve cleared his throat, “It’s nothin’ like that, Y/N. We swear. We-Bucky and I, we’ve been together for a long time. We love each other a lot, but-”

Bucky interjected, “But we feel like we’ve been missing something. And we think that something is you.”

You became even more confused, “But you’re together already. How would that even work?”

“A polyamorous relationship. The three of us can be together. Bucky and I have strong feelings for you, Y/N.”

You shook your head, “This can’t happen,” and suddenly, it felt like Bucky and Steve’s hearts were breaking all over again, but then you continued, “I’m still a student and you’re professors. If this got out, I’d be expelled and you two would be fired. I-” you take a moment to let out a deep breath, “It’s funny. I was coming here to tell you that I can’t choose between you two. I have feelings for both of you, so I was just-I don’t know-take myself out of the equation.”

“But you don’t have to, doll,” Bucky says with a hopeful gaze.

Steve rest his hand on Bucky’s shoulder to prevent him from getting ahead of yourself, “But we understand your reasoning why you don’t want to be with us.”

“I didn’t say I don’t want to be with you. I said I can’t right now.” that made both men’s ears perk, “I’m graduating next month. We can put all of this on hold for now and once I’m outta here then...”

“We can wait!” Bucky said all too enthusiastically, which made Steve chuckle.

Steve’s hand moved from Bucky’s shoulder, down his arm and to his hand where they laced fingers, “We’re willing to wait for you, sweetheart. You’re worth it.”

You moved around the desk and to the two men, grabbing each of their hands in yours, “Thank you. You guys mean a lot to me,” you leaned in and pecked the cheeks of each men, “I’ll see you guys soon,” and then you were out of Bucky’s office. The end of next month couldn’t come any sooner. 

__________________

“Y/N L/N!” your name was called as you walked across the stage, shaking the dean’s hand, and accepting your diploma. Cheers from your loved ones and peers brought a huge smile to your face. You walked down the steps dancing on your way back to your seat, your classmates buzzing all around you. 

After everyone’s name was called, the dean stood up the podium to give final remarks and the changing of the tassels, “Now, everyone, I present to you the Class of 2020!” everyone cheered as caps went flying into the air. You hugged the people around you, and waited for your family and friends to meet you on the field. In the meantime..

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!” Bucky cried out as he gave you a big ol’ hug. Steve stood behind him, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. 

“Congrats, Y/N,” Steve gave you a hug, nothing to make anyone suspicious.

You were beaming at them, “Thanks you guys. I can’t believe it. I graduated!”

Bucky was ready to ask you out right then and there, but stopped when he saw your family approaching. He and Steve stepped aside to allow you some time with your loved ones. They mouthed, “See you later,” and both walked away to congratulate other students. 

You watched as they departed. A part of you wanted to chase after them and kiss them both then and there, but that would stir something up and you didn’t want any trouble on this momentous day. Soon, Y/N. Soon. 

The day after graduation was when you were to pick up your official diploma. You knew from the group chat that Steve and Bucky would be on campus, due to finishing up finals. And after you picked up your diploma, you wanted to go see them. 

With diploma in hand, you approached the office building, sending off texts to the men:

You: whatcha up to?

Bucky: grading finals in Steve’s office

You: can I stop by?

Steve: of course ;)

Bucky: BRING COFFEE!

You giggled, knowing how predictable Bucky was, two cups of coffee with you already. You approached Steve’s office, knocking on the slightly ajar door, “May I enter?”

The door swung wide open, and Bucky immediately pulled you inside, closing and locking the door behind you. You snorted, “Wow, eager mu-mmf!” you couldn’t finish the teasing retory as a pair of lips matched up with yours, hands cupping your face. 

You heard a chuckle from behind you, “Buck, careful, you’re gonna make her spill the coffee she got for us.” He went over and grabbed the coffee tray from your hands.

You pulled away, mumbling, “Thank you,” to him and then looking back at Bucky who sported a dopey grin on his face, “How long were you waiting to do that?”

“So fucking long,” he mumbled, pressing his lips to yours once more, but it was brief since you pulled away.

“Hey now, two kisses and Steve hasn’t even gotten any from me yet. You’re starting to get greedy, mister.”

Bucky’s cheeks flushed and he ducked his head down shyly, “Sorry, doll,” he then moved aside for Steve. 

Steve pulled you in, wrapping an arm around you and slowly leaning in. His lips were hovering over yours and right as you were about to tell him to hurry up, his lips met yours in a passionate kiss. His fingers dug into your skin as he held onto you for dear life. For so long him and Bucky have wanted you like this and he feels like if he lets go, if he pulls away, it’ll all be a dream. 

Steve began to walk you backwards until your backside hit the edge of his desk. You pulled away to look at the two men, whose soft gazes faded and turned into lustful ones. 

You smirked, “I’ve always fantasized about being fucked on a desk.”

Both men growled as they started to undo their pants. Steve pressed you up against the desk, kissing you heatedly, while Bucky began to remove things from the surface. You hopped onto it after receiving the okay from Bucky. Steve worked on getting your jeans off while Bucky pulled of your shirt. Clothes flew around the room with no care where they landed. 

“Ah fuck, baby doll. You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Bucky moaned, his hand slowly pumping his cock and the other kneading your breast. 

You laid across the surface, opening your mouth, welcoming Bucky’s length. You both moaned when his dick entered your mouth. Bucky thrust his hips back and forth, loving how you looked taking his cock. 

Meanwhile, Steve was paying special attention to your pussy. He licked a strip up your slit, tongue circling around your clit. When you moaned a little too loud, Steve pulled away, “Quiet now, honey. Someone might here your pretty little noises and those are for our ears only.”

Bucky pulled out of your mouth for you to reply, “Sorry, Steve.”

“How wet is she, Stevie?” Bucky asked through his panting.

Steve licked his lips, “So fucking wet and she’s so sweet,” he murmured before slurping up some of your juices. 

Bucky whined, “Lemme taste.” Steve then stood up and leaned over the desk, pulling Bucky towards him, Lips smashing against lips. You wished you could’ve seen the two men swapping your taste, but the view was blocked by Bucky’s body leaning over yours. 

When they pulled away Steve cleared his throat, looking from you to Bucky, “So, how’s this gonna go: i fuck her pussy while you get her mouth, or vice versa?”

You shook your head, “No, I wanna feel you both at the same time.”

Both men moaned at the thought of both of their cocks filling you up to the brim. Steve nodded, “Very well. Bucky, on the table. Sweetheart, straddle Bucky.” Both you and Bucky did as you were told while Steve pulled out a bottle of lube from a drawer. 

You gave him a questioning look and Bucky chuckled, “This isn’t the first time we’ve fucked in this office, doll.” And just the image of Bucky and Steve fucking in this office made you even more wet than before. 

Steve, with his cock lubed up, knelt behind you and in-between Bucky’s legs, “You ready for us, babygirl?”

“I’ve literally been waiting all semester for this, Steve. Now hurry up and fuck me.”

Both men snickered at your haste, “Gotta give our girl what she wants,” Bucky mumbled as he lined himself up with you and you lowered yourself onto him. Steve was right behind you, pushing you forward and slowly easing himself into not wanting to hurt you. Moments pass they’re both inside you and, holy shit, this is something you’ve never felt before.

Both men stay still as they let you set the pace. You rock your body back and forth, allowing both cocks to drag themselves in and out of you. Seriously, the feeling was something unworldly. What made it ever better was Bucky’s lips on your chest and Steve’s hand working your clit. These men both knew what they were doing. 

“So fucking sexy, sweetheart, taking our cocks at the same time,” Steve murmured into your neck, “You love this, don’t you? Love being filled to the brim.”

Bucky bit at your skin, making you hiss, to which he mumbled, “Answer him, babydoll.”

“Yes, Steve. Love your cocks filling me whole,” you gasped when Bucky’s cock just hit that spot that made you shudder. With the way things were going, you knew you were gonna be cumming soon. 

“Wanna make a mess outta you, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered, lips still wandering over your neck and chest, “Wanna fill you with our cum, paint you with it. Mark you as ours.”

“I’m yours,” you panted out, “I’m all yours,” you moved your body faster, desperate for your release. 

“Go ahead, baby, cum on our cocks. We wanna feel ya,” Steve mumbled in your ear, his hand working faster on your clit. You dug your nails into Bucky’s chest, a pain he happily welcomed. 

“Come on, baby. Give it us. You can do it,” Bucky encouraged you, slapping your ass and kneading the flesh. 

“Fuck, fuck,” you said through gritted teeth. A powerful wave of pleasure washed over you as leaned down, resting your head against Bucky’s while you came.

“So pretty when you cum,” he whispered.

“Such a good girl,” Steve murmured, kissing your back and shoulders. You moved a bit and felt something wet. You sat up and looked down to see that you just squirted all over you and Bucky.

“Oh shit. I’ve never done that before,” you murmured.

Bucky snickered, “First time for everything,” he said with a wink. 

You then moved off his lap, “Well, lemme clean this up for you since it is my mess.” Both men hissed when your hands wrapped around both their lengths, your mouth gliding over Bucky’s stomach and pelvis, collecting your own juices. 

“Oh my God, you’re perfect,” he moaned, his hand grabbing your head and trying to push it towards his cock.

You slapped his hand away, “I already sucked you off, babe. Now it’s Steve’s turn,” you said with a smirk. You gave a wink to the blonde as your mouth lowered onto his dick. Bucky was right, you are perfect. And you’re theirs. All theirs.

[jpegjade]

Mr. Loverman (Pt. 3)

Alright frens and ferns. we’re gonna go through this shorter chapter. Still like 3 google docs pages but my fics are normally like 4-6 pages. (if you can’t tell, i’m a one-shot writer AND HAVENT WRITTEN A STORY FIC SINCE I WAS LIKE 14. shoutout to the wattpad days.) so this one is shorter bc i need to work but i wanted to put this out. part 4 will be much longer. idk how long im gonna end up making this fic in the end. ((yall gotta keep me encouraged to focus on this thing bc my adhd will in fact leave you all hanging on a cliff hanger and we wont look back lmao)))

i apologize for the shortness. i also apologize for adding the person i hate with a BURNING passion. yall just dont know. anyway, i’m so sorry. and for those who haven’t gotten to 11/12, there are no spoilers. this is like independent of that storyline and kinda after but i’ll explain a little in the next chapter. but i wanted to keep this true to the cm universe. also i didn’t want to create a wholeass character with a tragic backstory to explain why they’re a psychopath when in reality they just suck. that takes too damn long

warnings: none that i can think of. ((i dont even think i swore once. im so fucking proud. oops)) and no, i didnt proof read. so roll with any mistakes.

mr. loverman 1: Bloop

mr. loverman 2: bloop bloop 

____________________ 

“Y/n, have you seen anything or anyone suspicious lately? Anyone you recognized from one place appearing in other spaces?” Prentiss said. 

Everyone was staring at you. You felt the pressure on you to say the right thing but you didn’t know. You didn’t know what to say so you tried honesty. 

“No, not that I’ve noticed. Sorry if that makes things harder.” You sighed. 

You felt like you were letting everyone down because you didn’t notice anyone. Everything in your life was mundane and nothing stood out. You were super aware of your surroundings but you still felt like it wasn’t enough. You spent more time than ever in your apartment, which was hell but necessary with everything going on.

“Here’s the problem.” Emily started. “We have received intel that you’re on a bounty hunter’s hit list. Not only that but they have been watching you for some time now.” 

You were speechless. Who would pay to have you killed? Who did you piss off enough to pay money to have you killed? And what did this bounty hunter look like? This made you incredibly nervous and despite being away for two years, your body just reacted. 

Spencer told himself not to freak out. This didn’t mean anything. You were holding his hand tightly. It was what you used to do every time you got scared. Spencer squeezed your hand a little bit to let you know he was there and then he felt you squeeze back. You didn’t let go of his hand through the rest of the conversation but Spencer was barely paying attention. Garcia eventually ushered the two of you out of the room and back to your temporary bedroom. 

The silence between you and Spencer was incredibly loud. You let go of his hand as soon as you got to the breakroom, apologizing. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” You said. You figured that he would know what you were talking about. You sat in your corner of the mattress where you previously sat and Spencer sat in the space he occupied before the meeting. 

“No, you were scared. It’s okay.” He said. 

Silence that seemed to last forever happened. You were thinking about him and he was thinking about you. You were both so nervous about what came next but you didn’t know what to say. It took forever to come up with something but Spencer came up with something. 

“I wasn’t lying.” Spencer looked down at his shoes. 

“About?” You said, confused. You leaned your head against the wall. You were getting so tired. 

“Missing you. You have been all that I’ve thought about through these past two years.” He said, finally looking up at you. 

“Spence…” You said, yawning. You closed your eyes for a moment. 

“I haven’t connected to anyone else as naturally as I connected with you.” He said. 

“Well, I guess I can’t say anything different since I haven’t been able to move on.” You said, sleepily. It had been a long day and you were beyond exhausted. When you’re that tired, anything you say is bound to be unfiltered. 

“You were the only one who cared for me, all of me, and didn’t mind everything that came with me. No one gets that. No one cares about me like you do, even now. I couldn’t bear to take the ring off because it would mean losing a piece of you. And I couldn’t do that. I may have broken off the relationship but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. To this day, I…” You barely said before you fell asleep. 

Spencer thought about waking you but you looked so peaceful. He hated when he was left on a cliffhanger, especially like this, but you needed rest. So Spencer gently helped you lay down and covered you with your blanket. He was about to walk outside the door to guard and take a breather but you grabbed his arm and mumbled a very small, “Stay.” 

And that’s what he did. He stayed, holding you while you slept peacefully. He was so comfortable that he eventually nodded off. That was the first time in two years that he didn’t have a nightmare that scared him awake. 

When he woke up, you were nowhere to be found. Frantically searching, he ran all over the floor before noticing it was sunrise. You loved watching the sun rise in the mornings with a cup of coffee and a nice playlist going. 

“Hey, Spence.” You said, looking out the window. You looked rested, not tired like yesterday. 

“Y/n, you scared me. I thought something happened.” He said, looking at you. How did you make a sundress look so pretty? 

“Sorry. I thought about waking you but you were smiling in your sleep, the small, happy smile you do, and I wanted you to sleep. Besides, I had Cat to keep me company.” 

Spencer’s blood ran cold. That wasn’t possible. He was jumping to conclusions and you were sure it was just an intern or someone who…

“Hey Spencie. I’m having a grand time with y/n here. She’s a ball of sunshine.” Cat said, a fake smile fading into a straight face. 

Spencer immediately grabbed for his gun but didn’t find it anywhere on his hip. 

“Looking for this?” Cat took the gun out of her bag and pointed it directly at Spencer. 

Your head could barely comprehend what was happening. You were instructed to put your hands up and walk into the conference room, sitting across from each other. 

“And no touching. That’s no fun.” Cat pointed the gun at Spencer. You noticed that she was fixated on Spencer. You guessed that they somehow knew each other.

You were already in tears. What was happening? Could you make it out of this one alive? 

_____________________

Tag list: 

@dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal

@andiebeaword

@justanothetfangirl

@fanfictionreader05 

@addie5264

[samthemarvelfan]

Goodbyes: Chapter Seven

Summary: Ella Monroe is the Avengers newest recruit, handpicked by Steve Rogers himself. Indebted to him for reasons unknown, Cap pairs her up with Bucky Barnes. He is tasked with training her to relearn and hone the skills that have long since rusted. Bucky is cold and distant, and Ella can’t seem to break through the wall he’s built up for decades. He sees something in her though, and it scares him to death. Has the fate of these two strangers been sealed? …or will they always be longing…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC, feat Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark

Warnings: DARKER THEMES AHEAD. Angst, Bucky is a dick, mutual pining, self sabotage, PTSD, Fluff! Mentions of Panic attacks, flashbacks, and vomiting Def not following a specific MCU canon or timeline.

A/N: WOW! I am so grateful for all the love! Thank you so much @captain-rogers-beard for taking the time to not only read, but enjoy and reblog my work! i am honored! Please enjoy this hastily written chapter. (life is hard, but i love yall so much(

Taglist:@iheartsebastianstan @jjlizz @stuckysbabe @sk493494 @lefoutoir @nickangel13 @marvelismysafezone @lilulo-12 @heartofagamotto​  (strikethrough means the tag didn’t work! I’m sorry! Tags are OPEN!)

Bucky should have kissed her.

When he woke up, it was the only thing on his mind. He would do just about anything to turn the clock back, so he could grab her face in his hands and feel her pillowy lips against his.

Just imagining it sent a familiar heat to Bucky’s lower abdomen.

“Hey Iceman, what’s up?” Sam said as he entered the training room.

Bucky looked up, shaken out of his daydream, “Hey Sam, hows it going?”

Sam feigned a look of shock, “Wow you’re in a good mood this mornin’! Any particular reason why? Hm?”

Bucky smiled to himself as he moved equipment to make space, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Sam laughed, “Whatever you say, just tell me one thing—y’all fuck yet or what?”

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks, “What?”

“You and Ella. Did you guy fuck yet?”

His causal tone threw Bucky for a loop. Bucky swallowed hard and shook his head, “Sam it’s not..I don’t...I’m just—“

“See that’s your problem right there,” Sam interjected, “you don’t know what the hell you want with that girl, but you know you want her. I’ve seen you guys in a room together, the sexual tension is off the charts.”

Bucky laid mats down in the center of the room, “Sam, she’s just a—“

“A recruit. Yeah I know, but if you think for one second I believe that’s all you see her as then Iceman, I got some baaaad news for you.”

Sam took a sip from his water bottle, taking in Bucky’s expression. He looked happy on the surface, but Sam saw the dissatisfaction wading underneath.

“Bucky,” Sam called. He only ever used his name when he was serious. “Why are you so hard on that girl? It’s so obvious you two are crazy about one another. Why are you pushing her away?”

Bucky looked up to Sam, and simply shook his head. “I’m not good. For her or anybody else...but especially her.”

Sam look at him confused, “What the hell is that suppose to mean?”

Bucky sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Don’t you think I would love to be a guy who could have a girl like that on my arm without worrying I might kill her? That I could take her out somewhere and not have this constant paranoia hanging over my head like a guillotine ready to drop at any second?”

Bucky hadn’t said these thoughts out loud to anyone, not even Steve. “Sam she’s...she’s everything I want but can never have. I gotta keep my distance, but she makes it impossible. I’m mean to her, downright cruel, and boy, does she give it back to me...” Bucky smiled and let out a chuckle at the thought.

“But she’s kind. She’s so sweet and genuine and I-I’m a time bomb. Ella...she’s been through hell and back. I don’t want her to have to go through anything like that again.”

Sam stood in front of his friend, seeing the pain in his eyes. He sighed taking a step toward Bucky, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Does she make you happy?”

Bucky looked up confused, “Did you not just hear m—“

“Does. She. Make. You. Happy?” Sam repeated.

Bucky nodded slowly, “She makes me feel alive again. After feeling nothing for almost a century.”

Sam nodded to himself. “If I were you Barnes? I wouldn’t push away my chance at happiness. Who knows? You might be her chance too.”

You look through the doors to the training room and see Sam with Bucky.

Is he passing me off to Sam again? You think.

You take a deep breath and push the door open. They stop their conversation and Sam turns to you.

“What’s up, Punchline? How you doin’?” He asks happily.

You can’t help but smile, his grin is infectious. “Hey Sam, you joining in on the fun today?” You ask, hoping for a regretful answer.

Sam shakes his head, “No, apparently Barnes wants you all to himself. Isn’t that right, Iceman?”

You look to Bucky whose gaze is unwavering, “Ella needs an actual trainer, not a comedian with a whistle.” He jests.

Sam’s jaw drops open slightly and you let out a small giggle.

“Alright, alright. I see when I’m not wanted. Catch ya later, Punchline. And Barnes, I’ll see you in hell.” He flips Bucky off on his way out the door, and you can’t help but laugh.

A few moment pass as a comfortable silence falls over the room. You try not too, but you can’t help but remember the last time you were here. When you were alone with Sergeant Barnes, and what happened.

When he almost killed you.

He noticed the sudden discomfort in your eyes. “Hi, Els.” His smooth, honey voice calls to you; drawing you in.

“Hey, Sarge.” You reply kindly.

He steps forward, testing the waters. “Bucky.” He says.

You look at him confused. “What?”

“Bucky. Use my name. Please.” He says quietly.

“But I thought—“

“I like your voice. The way you say my name...I like it.” His boldness takes you by surprise, but nonetheless you smile.

A small nod, “Bucky.” You say happily.

He smiles back, a real genuine smile. One of the first you think you’ve seen from him.

“Where’s your sling, Doll?” He asks concerned.

“Oh,” you say baring your bandage covered shoulder to him. “When I woke up this morning, my shoulder was...I don’t know. It feels...different? The wound itself still hurts but somehow, it feels healed.”

Bucky’s brow furrows, “Can I?” He gestured to the bandage, and you nod.

He gently sweeps your hair behind your shoulder, rubbing circles on the exposed skin.

When he pulls back the bandage he can’t help but be a little curious.

“Have you ever been injured like this before?” He asks, replacing the bandage.

You shake your head. “No, when I was...where I was, they were very careful not to hurt me this bad.”

“Why’s that?” He asked.

You smile sadly, “Can’t use a punching bag with a hole in it, can you?”

A flash of anger dances in Bucky’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Doll.”

You shrug, “I can’t change the past, no point in living in it.” You push the flashbacks out as they threaten your mind once again. You’re not going to ruin this. Not this time.

Bucky strokes your arm a few times, before his hand grasps at yours loosely. “When HYDRA had you, Steve said they experimented on you?”

He asks like he’s afraid of both your reaction and your answer.

You nod. “Yeah. They injected me with so many solutions and serums. I have no idea what any of it was or did.”

Bucky smiled softly and gently thumbed your knuckles. “Well whatever it was, one of them must have helped you with healing. Steve and I share that trait too. Cuts heal in hours, fractures and breaks in a few days.”

You nod thoughtfully to yourself. “Huh, finally a perk from those assholes.”

He dropped your hand softly, “We’re gonna take it easy still...I don’t wanna push you too hard.”

A laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it.

“What?” Bucky asks curiously.

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Sergeant Barnes?” You ask sarcastically.

Without missing a beat, Bucky steps into you, cupping your cheek with his hand. The pad of his thumb is swept over your cheekbone tenderly, prickling your skin with goosebumps.

“I’m trying to be me. The real me. We got off to a terrible start and that’s my fault. I’m sorry.” His voice is so genuine and honest, it takes you by surprise.

“You like keeping me on my toes, huh?” You ask.

He nods fondly, “I could say the same about you, ya k now.”

Silence crept into the room, blanketing the air you shared with him. Suddenly, you can’t help but look to his lips.

It would be so easy to kiss him, too easy. You look down to Bucky’s feet hoping to shake the eagerness from your bones, but it doesn’t help.

“Look at me, Els...” he coaxes you.

You catch his gaze again, and your breathing hitches in your chest.

“I’m gonna earn your trust, Doll. I promise.” Bucky whispers.

Before you had the chance to reply, a chime echoed in the room.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Barnes you’re needed urgently in briefing room C.” FRIDAY’s accent called out.

He looked confused for a moment, “On whose order?”

“Mr. Stark’s.” It was a simple reply, but a telling one nonetheless.

Bucky looked at you quickly, “Let’s go.”

On your way back to the compound, you couldn’t help the nervous feeling in your stomach. Since Tony retired, he never helped out for missions. He came in a few times a month to check on the property and get debriefings from the staff, but his main job was being a Dad.

That’s why when you heard it was him calling for Bucky, you knew something was up.

“What do you think it is?” You asked Bucky, shoving your hands deep in your pockets.

The elevator doors opened and Bucky ushered you out, placing his hand on the small of your back.

“Not sure, but if Tony’s involved it can’t be good.”

As you approached the room, you saw Cap, Bruce, Sam and Wanda at the table, Tony heading the meeting.

You slowed, allowing Bucky to walk ahead of you.

“Come on, Doll.” He said matter-of-factly.

You shook your head, “They didn’t ask for me.”

Bucky chuckled, “Just come on.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. 

The room got instantly quiet. “Look who decided to join us...” Sam jested.

“Hey, Buck.” Steve said kindly.

You sat in the chair by the door, ready to leave if you were asked too. Why should you be here? You’re not an Avenger—or whatever these guys are called now.

“We all know why we’re here. They’re back. This time it seems like for good.” Tony spoke.

He pressed a button on the console, projecting a hologram above the table.

It showed an aerial image of some kind of camp, though fortress would probably be the better word. You stared at the image, when your stomach suddenly dropped. Your skin prickling and clammy before you had time to think.

“Where is this?” Wanda asked.

“Romania.” You whispered.

All eyes were suddenly on you. “Ella? You know this place?” Steve asked.

You nodded subtly, “Y-yeah. I—excuse me.”

Feet carrying you faster than your body wanted, you ran from the conference room. Opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, you run down the several flights to the living quarters.

Luckily, you made it to your bathroom before you were sick. Unable to stop the dry heaving and shaking, you knew there was no point. You’d successfully avoided the flashbacks for over a year, stealing your mind had become second nature, but this...this was too much.

The light headed feeling over took you as you laid in your bed. You desperately drank water, hoping to calm your nerves, but nothing was helping. This was a panic attack, one of the worst you could remember.

“Ella? Ella open up.” Steve’s voice was outside your room, muffled by the door.

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t move.

“FRIDAY?” You heard him ask. The A.I. didn’t respond, she simply unlocked the door.

You were in the fetal position now, hugging the pillow desperately to your chest.

“Ella.” He said, moving his hand to stroke your back. His touch elicited a fight or flight response you’d been denying for months. You instinctively began kicking and punching him.

“No! No! Don’t take me! Don’t touch me! Stop!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. Steve wasn’t there. You were suddenly back in Romania, in the cell you’d been kept in. The faceless men of your mind were there, touching you. Stabbing you. Hurting you.

“Ella no! Please it’s me, it’s Steve. You gotta fight it, Ella.” He tried you comfort you. “You’re safe, Ella, I promise you’re safe!”

Without warning, the faceless men vanished. Revealing a panicked Steve, sat just inches from you on your bed.

Oxygen filled your lungs once again, as you began to come down from your panic attack.

“Steve?” You question.

He nodded, stroking your hair. “It’s me. You’re safe. It’s me.” He pulled you in for a hug.

You blinked the tears out of your eyes, “Oh my God. Steve, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking embarrassed.”

He shook it head, “Stop that. Stop that right now, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I didn’t know you’d be coming in with Buck, I wouldn’t have let them show that had I known...”

“No, I can’t be put in this bubble and hidden away my whole life! It’s not your fault, it just took me off guard, I haven’t seen that place...thought about it in so long I just...” your voice drifted off as you wiped your eyes.

The camp��was where you’d been held--where you’d been taken from your family and hidden away all those years ago.

It took a while, but you’d calmed down. People kept coming to check on you, but Cap would kindly move them along, giving you the space you so desperately needed.

It seemed everyone had come to see you, except one person. The one person you actually wanted to see.

“Cap? Where’s Bucky?” You ask innocently

Steve sighed, “Bucky’s been sent ahead of the rest of us.”

Your eyes widened, “Sent? Sent where? Not Romania. Steve he can’t do this alone he can’t, they’ll—“

“We’re headed there tonight. In just a few hours in fact.” He replied, cutting you off.

You stood from your bed grabbing your pistol from the night stand. “Let’s go now, he needs backup.” You’re desperately trying to hide the panic in your voice.

“Ella no, we’re going. You’re not ready for this.” Steve stood from you bed as well, what does he mean not ready?

“Steve I can’t just sit here and—“

“You can and you will. That’s an order, Ella. It’s clear you need more time to heal, both mentally and physically.” Steve put a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You said it yourself, you need time. I want you to take it.”

The wind had been knocked out of you. You nod at Steve somberly, accepting his words for what they were; orders.

A few hours after Steve had left, you hear the rumble of the Quinjet take off from the roof. Despite the lack of worry in his voice, you could help the awful feeling in your stomach, telling you something terrible was going to happen...

and you couldn’t do anything about it.

You worried for Bucky, but despite your worry you couldn't help wonder why he just left. Why he wouldn't come check on you, or at least say goodbye. He just...left.

You flopped on the couch in the common room, flicking mindlessly through the channels. Tonight would bring nothing but sleepless bouts and nightmares.

You shut the tv off and stare at the ceiling, unsure of when, or if you’d see Bucky Barnes again.

Chapter Eight: Light Bulb

[fortheloveofkuroo]

HAIKYUU AU;

Part 1 Part 2

Karasuno boys are having a sleepover in your place, their Manager!

7. Hinata Shouyo

Aweee look at those adorable face TwT

I'm a huge softie for first year tbh like.. WHO DOESN'T.

You know how Hinata supposed to ride his bike trough the mountain for half an hour and nu-uh baby you don't have to do that.

He doesn't mind though, he got his trusty rain coat stored back in his bag.

BUT STILL.

You insist at having the boys staying over night in your house. Watching you and Daichi having an argument it's like watching his parents quarelling.

"What about the others with a far house? Like Hinata, huh?"

DING DING DING! You - 1, Daichi - 0.

Hinata, being the most happy-go-lucky boi he is walks to your house with the most brightest grin.

You two are basically close enough, a lot of the first years really adores you. Because of your motherly side and well, your scary sides sometimes almost scares them more than Daichi's.

But Hinata, boy he is your favorites. He's the most brightest cheerful boy you've ever met and he's just like a baby brother..

To you, at least.

"Na na (Y/n)-senpai, do you have any siblings?" He asked. You nods. "Mhm i have one. He's on junior high. He's about your height." You jokes, knowing so well that Hinata will be pissed about it. And he did, he start complaining and protesting despite the rainy weather.

God you love him so much.

After unlocking the doors, you all entered the house quickly because the weather is just getting more worse. After distributing the towel, you went to bath.

While Hinata and the others busy looking around your house.

"Woaaah.. So this is what a girl's house look like.." he accidentally blurts out his thought. "Well yeah, never see a normal house before?" Tsukishima scoffs.

"Damn it Tsukishima. Shut up!" "Hey don't talk to Tsukki like that!" Yelp Yamaguchi.

After waiting for a bit the boys finally got to shower. Some of the third years showers first so he waits. But his sharp nose picks up something. Something smells delicious. The third years are back from his bath too.

So he follows his instinct and trails the delicious aroma and he ended up in Kitchen. He was about to walk past the Kitchen but then..

His eyes- Oh my for the love of Asahi's beautiful hair. He witness someone's cornering you. He panicks. He saw the gorgeous golden karaage that's been served on the plate and quickly snatch a few of them.

Before any of you could say anything, he bowed so many times and left the kitchen at ungodly speed. Leaving both of you in awkward position.

He was munching the Kaarage only to realized that his face is still in panic state. So he went to the trusty ol' buddy. Kageyama lol.

"What happen? You run into a ghost or somethin? That's what you get for cutting the line dumb-" "Kageyama.. In the kitchen.."

Ah shoot, is he really going to tell him this?

"They were in the kitchen.. They.." But before he could explained, Kageyama already assumed first what he was going to say.. incorrectly.

"Sugawara-san is cornering (Y/n)-san.." he whispered. Maybe his whisper is a tad too loud. Someone might have heard that. Kageyama clench his towel and gets up.

Poor bby tried to stop him but gets thrown away instead. He never know what happen when Kageyama went to the Kitchen. All he want to do now is get to the hot shower and eats.

"Hinata you can go." A voice told him, it was Nishinoya. Hinata thanked him and went to bathroom. Before he can get to the bathroom, he get past the kitchen. Preparing himself to witness another 'intense moment' as he past by.

But he locks eyes with you instead. You eyes was a little gloomy. His heart suddenly got a little pinch when he see your unusual facial expression.

After showering, he went out. Fold his dirty clothes and join the others. Somehow your unusual expression gets him that hard. He hardly can focus on food when you and Sugawara served the main dish.

Of course he still talks and jokes around but you're the only one who noticed that Hinata's not as cheerful when he first enter your house.

"Um.. Due to lack of the space, one of you have to sleep with me."

As usual the two second years that are going after you fights over who's the one who gets to sleep with you.

Untill you pull Hinata from the crowds and grins.

"I choose Hinata, he's like my baby brother so i trust him!" You smiles as you hang your arms on his shoulder. Hinata cannot believe you just did but everyone strangely agrees.

"He's too dumb anyway, he won't do anything weird to (Y/n)-san." Ouch, He heard that.

You leave the door open as you prepare the mattress for him. Ofc he helps too. You two pull the mattress out and prepares it.

"Here's your pillow and blanket. Do you need anything else?" You kindly asked. Hinata shakes his head.

"Kay then, i'll turn off the lights!" Once you cut off the light, the dim room suddenly got so different. You jumped to your bed and wrap yourself in your soft fluffly blanket as you face Hinata's side.

"Hehehe, i feel like sleeping with my brother, it's somehow exciting." You chuckles. Hinata looks up, he tried to find your face in the dim room. Thanks to the moon that unexpectedly shines over you two, you both able to see each others faces.

You're surprised after seeing Hinata's face. He got that serious calm face just like when he about to take over the courts. It sometimes scares you how the loud boy can be so calm yet serious.

"Do i look like that to you, (Y/n)-senpai?" He asked. Sitting right up.

"Huh?"

"Do i really look like your baby brother?" He asked. You jokingly agrees. But when he gets up. You know he's serious now. Oh fuck.

"Did you forget that i'm a boy too?" His fast movement plus the dim room causing you to lower your guards and just in a second, he's already on top of you. Wait how?

"You know.. I saw how Suga-san cornering you like this in the kitchen earlier." He explained. Ah he did witness that.

"Don't treat me like a child, (Y/n)-san. I'm- I'm a man too!" He stated while making a manly face.

You can't help but smiles. Damn, you misunderstand him. You always thought that he just adore you because you're his senpai, turns out you're wrong. He got thus serious yet commited face. And don't forget a lil' flushed cheeks.

"I'm not a kid..." those were his last word before he falls down on your body and fall asleep.

You laughed and hugs him. Hugging him close to your chest.

"Of course you're not, Shouyou.."

8. Tsukishima Kei

Salt boi is here yall

He doesn't bother to say no when you offer him.

"Hah? No thanks. I'm not in the mood for sleepover."

But oh well you insist him to go in the end. And he does.

As expected, Tsukki didn't say much or even complained. Because he kept it inside. Pfft.

"Dang it why do i have to do this?" "i should've decline." "This is just a club, duh." "How many times i have to deal with this bunch of idiots."

"ThIs iS jUst A ClUb"

He places his shoes and went in. Leaving everyone behind and drop himself to your couch.

While everyone are looking at him with the 'what-the-fuck' face and Daichi is ready to beat his ass, but you stopped them.

"It's alright you all. Tsukki is actually visited my house a lot so he gets used to it." You explained and everyone are shooked.

Everyone asked him why did he get to visit your house. He simply shrugs "Our parents are friends with each other."

Everyone never knew that you both are actually childhood friend. Well you and his older brother is. But you consider Tsukki's your childhood friend too because he used to tag along with his older brother and play together with you. Since middle school, he often visits your home. Along with Akiteru.

No one really notice this because of your rare interaction. Sure you often scolds him and talk ti him but no interaction outside the club activity.

While the other are making a ruckus he wondered. "It's been so long after i came here. When was it? Around Junior high i guess? Well, doesn't matter."

"Tsukki! You came here a lot? How come i never know??" Yamaguchi protest. He doesn't believe that his bestfriend is actually close with anyone.

"None of your bussiness Yamaguchi." He simply shut him up and dried his blonde hair.

His eyes wander around your living room. Nothing change since his last visit. He hates to admit it but it brings so much memories.

"Nee-chan, I like you!"

He snaps out. Fuck why is he remembering that now. He takes off his glass and massaged his temple as Hinata rushing back from the kitchen.

It didn't take too long for him to figure out everything because of Hinata's loud whispering. He knows what happen between you and Sugawara in the Kitchen.

It's none of his concern. Or is it?

So he didn't think about it and left to bath. Before he able to enter the bath, you tried to stop him and offer him a clean towel for him but ofc he refuse wdy expect.

Once he shut the door close, gotta admit he kinda hate seeing Sugawara touchy touchy with you. But tch, what's his problem. It's your problem, not his. So what if you date someone from the voleyball club, right?

...Right?

He left the bath feeling a little better and less annoyed. When he's back to the living room he saw how close you are to the senpais. Deep down, it honestly irks him. But oh well.

Just when he place himself infront of the table, you hand him his portion of rice. "Not too much, right? I still remember!" You smiled.

He thanked you then starts to eat. Tsukishima probably is the calmest when eating. While everybody laughs, jokes, and talks he keep quiet and focus on his food. Sure he add a littlr insults here and there but it doesn't distract him from his focus.

You love that side of Tsukishima. If only he can take Voleyball that serious, you thought to yourself.

After cleaning up and washing the dishesh, it's time to sleep.

Again, "Um... Due to the lack of space, one of you have to sleep with me."

Again, Tsukishima already prepared himself for sleeping anywhere. Anywhere is fine really. He just want to call it a night. Sleeping with you? It's out of his boundaries. He can never do that-

"Tsukishima? You alright?" Your voice snaps him out.

"Huh oh, me?"

"Yeah. You seems spacing out a lot lately." Tsukishima denies, only to realize that he's in your room and no one is around him.

"Wait. Where's everyone?" He wonder. You laughs. "They've gone to sleep. And you should too, Tsukki." You tap his back, giving him a little rub.

After you pulled the mattress out, Tsukishima helps you with the sheet and stuff. He didn't say a word. Is he okay, you always wonder.

"Can you turn the lights off, please?" You ask him. He reach for the lights and turns it off. When darkness hits you. It's like you're in a different room.

10 minute have passed and none of you made any sound. Ony the sound of your body turning over and over and the soft blanket.

"What is it? Can't sleep?" Tsukishima suddenly spoke out. You're kinda surprised a little. But you nods.

"Hey, don't you remember our first sleepover?-" "I didn't. Goodnight." He cuts you off and turns his back on you. Guess he's that tired afterall.

For god sake you've tried to close your eyes arpund hundred thousand times. But it won't. Tsukishima presence is making you hard to behave.

You face him. Looking over his broad back. He grew so fast. You barely stands a chance. You remember how you and him used to compare your height and he beats you. You remember how he used to play with you and Akiteru will suggest a weird yet fun ideas. And how that day, he... confess to you.

You snaps out when you feel a sudden hit in your hand. You look over to him and find his eyes looking at you. "Are you okay? Staring at the ceiling, not blinking for almost a minute now. I'm almost having a heart attack." He said followed with a laugh of yours.

"Sorry, reminiscing old times."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, our old times."

He suddenly became quiet again. You turn over him and rest your head at the corner of the bed. "Why.. Are you avoiding me?" Tsukishima scoffs. "Avoiding you? When?" "3 summers ago. When we're having our first sleepover. And you..."

Your heart and brain are niw deciding whether you should remind him or not. Not noticing your body being so close to the edge and boom.

You fell right trough to his body. What a coincidence right. "What the- Get off me!" He pushed you off. Ouch..

You sits on his bed. Your heart is still aching from him raising his voice. You looks away.

"Do you hate me that much? I tried to talk to you but you never listen." Tsukki looks over to you. His blurry gaze didn't help so he sits right up too and faces you.

"What is your problem? Can't you just sleep quietly?" "I cannot!" "Well then stop bothering me!" ..He might have gone too far.

Is that you've been doing? Bothering him..?

Ah fuck, never knew getting told off like this will hurt your heart that much.

"Fine, Sorry. I'll stop." You climbs up to your bed. Ignoring your aching heart you decided to close your eyes.

Until you feel a warm presence behind you. You know it's him. "What are you-" "Shut up and listen. Don't cut me off and let me finish." He stated. Your silence showing that you agrees.

"I still remember our first sleepover. I remember how we can't sleep untill 2. While Akiteru-nii is sleeping, we talk and jokes until the night goes away. But one thing that i want to forget that night is when i..." he stops for a while, seems lost. His left hand is resting on your waist. You holds his hand. Calming him.

"When i confess to you. I want to erase that memory from my mind but lucky me huh, we met again. So it's a fail." You turn around and cups his face. "..Are you assuming that night that i rejected you, Kei?" He didn't expect this. What the hell?

You chuckles, seeing his clueless face is funny. "You stupid giraffe. It's my first confession dummy. I don't know how to react so i just left you off and sleep without thinking about it. But now that i think about it.." your cheeks heating up. Ah shit.

You two are so close. There's barely any distance left. His arms suddenly pushed you into his hug. Resting your head in his chest.

"In case you want to know. My feelings haven't change a slightest."

9. Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Look at that. You've been blessed by his precious smile.

Cutie didn't want to bother you at first. But Tsukki's joining so why not?

As you already know, the first year are well obsessed? Not really, but all of them put you in a special place in their heart.

Especially for Yamaguchi.

You know his struggle. His pain. His grieve when he failed that pinch serve.

You're the one who calms him down and be there for him. His panic, he almost burst out to tears and he did, he tried to leave but you stopped him and hugs him while he's crying like a baby in your hug.

And of course after that he developed a huge crush on you.

He's amazed on how you're able to handle most of them from the craziest, loudest one to the saltiest and quietest one.

When he step into your house, he barely even realize that his face shows how happy he is. Spending a night in your house, what is this a dream?

'Till he found out that his bestfriend, Tsukishima is your childhood friend. And he never knew anything. At. All.

"Tsukki? You came here a lot? How come i never knew??" And as usual Tsukishima shuts him up

He lost a little bit of his hope. Poor baby :(

You and Yamaguchi is always a good.. friend? I mean you both comfort each other. But being their Senior and their Manager, it's your job right?

But then he heard that Sugawara-senpai is- what? Cornering you? What is going on?

His heart immediately panicks and over-thinking.

It's true that everyone want to have you, but.. He cannot lose. He won't.

For a whole day he keeps himself quiet. More quiet than the usual. From the bath to dinner. And you don't even notice. Weird, usually you notice right away.. But oh well, he can talk to you later, right?

And the time came.

"Um.. Due to the lack of space, one of you have to sleep with me."

His heart jolts up. His chance for talking to you.

He locked eyes with you. Hoping you notice him. But.. You didn't. And in the end, you decided to sleep alone. Shoot. "There goes my chance." He thought.

The coldness in the living room is not comfortable at all. His mind is still going around on you, you, and only you. He need to talk to you. So he made up his mind.

He sloowly make his way to your room. Knocking it lightly to inform you. But no answer. A minute has passed since the last knock went on your door. "She's probably asleep.." But the door's open. And he got a glimpse of you in your bed. Getting sleepy but still a little awake.

Then your eyes met. Yamaguchi squeak and tried to run away. "Wait! Yamaguchi!" And he freezes on the spot. You walk over and opens the door.

"What is it?" Your gentle smile flies is a cure for his worries and thoughts.

"I-I.. But you already asleep, i shouldn't bother you, I'm sorry.."

"No no! It's alright. Come here." You says with a smiles. God his heart feel at ease. He quietly walk closer and enter your room.

He's embarassed and it shows. His fidgety moves and the sweaty palms.

You pull the mini mattress below your bed and Yamaguchi immediately helps you. You both then sits on top of it.

"What is it you want to talk, hm?" You look over to the shy boy. He let out a sigh and then his arms wraps around you. You're quiet a bit surprise seeing him hugs you first. Usually you're the one who hugs him first if he's having a breakdown.

"Let me recharge, senpai.." Yes. You're his source of battery. Being around you or near you giving him energy that will make him last a whole day.

"Sure thing, Tadashi." You ruffles his dark green hair. You can feel his breath tickling your neck. And it's the time. "Okay now, go to sleep-" "No. Wait, don't pull away.. Not yet." He hugs you tighter, not letting you go.

"You're warm, Senpai.. And you look really cute in that pajamas." He whispered to your ears. Causing your face to turns into a blushing mess.

"What the hell Tadashi, when did you learn to sweet talk like this, huh?!" You hit his head lightly.

"Ow! I didn't, i mean it.." the boy green haired boy rubs his head as he snuggles to you.

"I know Tadashi. And it works."

Hey hey hey! FINALLY DONEEE! Oh my enjoy everybody. And remember, stay save!

[stimmybinnie]

Autism Acceptance Month Days 20-24

OKAY SO IM THE WORST XD I had typed a couple of these days up but forgot to actually schedule them... so heres another giant post... im sorry >.<

April 20: Discuss stimming. In what ways do you stim? What does stimming mean to you? What do individual stims that you do mean? Do you have any stim toys? What would you like people to know about stimming? I mean, I kinda talk about my stimming a lot on this blog already (ya know, stim bin...) and i'm kinda too tired to actually say anything about the individual stims themselves... all i can really say is that when it comes to stimming, i want people to know that it's normal and neccesary for me! don't shame people for stimming :c also i do have a ton of stim toys... joon and i really need to post our collections on here lol

April 21: Give a shoutout to some of your favorite autism blogs/autistic bloggers okayyyyy so this took way more thinking then I would like to admit because a lot of the time i dont look at yall's urls... i go off of the profile pic (or the general colours of your profile pic which is even worse...) or i know you by the content but not the url -_- ANYWAY some of my faves are (in no particular order): @butterflyinthewell - thank you for all the content and videos you post!!! i have nbeen able to learn a lot about autism through your content and have been able to use your videos to communicate things to NTs when I couldnt communicate what i wanted to say myself!) @autie-jake - thank you for making these prompts!!! i also enjoy all of your blogs content, it always makes me smile!) @autistickeely - i really enjoy the stuff you post and reblog, it gives me a lot of good reminders and positivity on days when i really needed it >.< I loved seeing your post recently (is it from today??? tumblrs concept of time is weird) about your comfort items! made me hug my stuffies real tight ^-^ @frogitivity - okay i love all the stuff you post (and i initially followed for the frogs lol!) but i gotta say i love the whole #bug talks tag! i love the fact that you share videos and such of your stimming and stuff too!! @undiagnosedautismfeels - since i am undiagnosed, i love scrolling this blog to help me remember that i do belong here and am autistic which is very very important to me >.< @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses - can i really make a autistic shout out post without shouting out Autistic Icon Gaud?? No I cannot. Seriously, tho, their blog is hilarious, gaud... thanks for simultaneously weirding me the fuck out and making my fucking day with every single post you have XD ((i also now realize that im not sure if we actually follow all y'all on stimbin here.... i follow you guys from my personal tumblr lmao but ill make sure to follow if we haven't already on this blog XD))

April 22: What are some social rules that do not make sense to you/that you don't understand? recently I'm struggling a lot with the fact that i need to tell people i cant talk. I'm usually very verbal but when i get burnt out, socializing is the first thing to go lol. So unless you're my person or I come to you first, I Do Not Want To Talk. And in fact, its usually extremely exhausting and honestly pisses me of very quickly which is something i'm currently trying to figure out how to tell people because when I tell people i just dont want to talk, they get offended and im not sure why. I think it's because I am usually talkative (obviously... have you seen my posts...) so when I'm not talkative people get worried and talk to me more... which,,, thank you for caring but also you're making it worse??? please someone help i have no idea how to express this to people >.< those who know (and accept...) im autistic have no issues with giving me space but those who dont know or dont believe me when i say im autistic (or those who dont know how it affects me...) dont seem to get it and just get mad at me. this is a social rule im having an issue with because it always got me in a Lot of trouble as a kid and even recently (maybe 2-3ish months ago??) my old manager got very hurt because i told her i just didnt want to talk that day and thats why i was quiet, but not to worry about me, i just needed some time/space & she was very hurt by that and kept bringing it up so i'm just really not sure how to do this....??? its very much a me thing and has nothing to do with you, so why do people get all upset, offended, mad at me, and ridicule me for not wanting to talk to them???? help /.\

April 23: Do you have any internal rules? What are they? Honestly, I know that I do but I can't currently think of any. They usually stem from masking/forced masking growing up so I don't really consciously think about them any more? its just a survival tactic from growing up. Like you know, don't rock in front of people, don't do this, don't do that, etc etc. I literally can't think of most things right now because I kinda block them out??? I should probably work on that. Can't help myself from getting out of the trauma mindset if I don't even know what I'm avoiding! The only like neutral/positive rule I can think of right now is that I really don't like my food to touch. Like, there are certain things I will mix, but if I can avoid things touching on my plate, I absolutely will. does that count as an internal rule? i think so lol

April 24: Talk about community. What does the autistic community mean to you? Is it important? How does it feel? to me... the autistic community is very important. If you made it this far in the post, you’d know just from my few little shout outs, community means a lot to me. I'm not necessarily one to wrap up my identity in my labels (as i talked about in my first post of days 1-5 cuz like this post... i missed some days -_-) but I enjoy having the label because it helps me to realize im not alone in my struggles, and my accomplishments can also be shared with a wonderful community. There's always something to be said about the importance of having people who share your interests and/or experiences, and it's amazing that i can just search into the actuallyautistic tag and find so many relatable posts and amazing people who i can relate to in even a small way. I thank everyone who has ever posted or reblogged something into the actuallyautistic tag for giving me such a comforting sense of belonging. Love all you guys >.<

[incarnateirony]

So anyway, life updates on what I’ve talked about good, bad, and vagueblog.

But I introduce you to Betty White, or the Millennium Falcon, name pending.

Most of yall know that I’m on disability, dealing with some massively janky medical issues that Alabama’s bottom-ranked health care system doesn’t even know how to cover, and my wifey blew a disc in her neck at work, essentially debilitating her, too, but also earning a small settlement. In scale of it, 25K -- 21 after lawyer fees -- isn’t really much to do anything with.

So we had already known we had to fix up and sell the house and thought, hey, the land value went up substantially out here, we can pocket and flip it and be hella good.

Until her father finally came out here and in long story short, found out that the inspector that ran through this house when my wife first bought it (during our breakup period YEARS ago) didn’t do his job and it’d be 20-30K worth of repairs to even sell this place at the value her loan is for, meaning we pretty much have to short sell it to get out from under it. I mean bad shit. Fire hazard wiring and rotting roof and siding element under shiny things that hid it that have clearly been deteriorating since long before the house got a lipstick job.

So we went and found an RV, because it’s time to go. We have to GO. We have to get out of this state. There’s nothing for us here. There’s no medical care, there’s no worker protections, being LGBT women we’re extra up a creek in the area, it’s just bad. So RV it was! But finding one in the now suddenly cramped budget with the house turning up bunk entirely was FUN.

But like a stroke of providence I happened to find a listing the day it was upgraded on what has been jokingly referred to by my friends as the Millennium Falcon of RVs. 

It came from an older couple, almost 60, that had been RVing for a few years, and the thing was already used when they bought it. It’s a friggin 1994. It’s old, it’s Chonk. But it was a project RV they decided to start on and while it has a solid AF 454 engine in it,

 they’ve over a few years put in just about New Everything. New transmission, new air brakes, new air bags, new radiator, new septic lines, new alternator, new battery, new steering and suspension, new new new new new. Modified backup camera that tracks engine temp/tire pressure/etc like modern dashes and stays on constantly instead of just when backing up. It has its little hijinks with the in-n-out stairs being funky and the generator is a funny little bit because they didn’t want to spend 8K+ on a generator for an old RV so they got one that’s an external mount, which I imagine is why it was having a hard time selling.

Atop that inside the wife went bananas and got rid of the shitty old wallpaper and painted it bright colors different on every wall, removed the space consuming fold out couch since they didn’t need an extra bed and installed an armoire-storage-couch-thing that takes up half the outter floor space, stuff like that.

This was their baby and they intended to keep this baby and did great work on this baby, and the second I saw it in the advert, I knew it, because the images weren’t all spit cleaned sales stuff, it was vacation images with their shit still hanging inside it and their party lawn with their sports teams and stuff and the shiny lights they added on it to make it a party bus like

So anyway it turned out they basically got conned into getting a newer shinier one and just wanted to get the fuck OUT of Alabama but because of the generator and age it wasn’t selling at market value which was about 15K even as old as it is, and had price gouged it down to *8500*

Thought it was too good to be true, got our old construction and mechanic friend go out out there and go over it with a fine toothed comb and this thing, as he put it “goddamn if I had the money, I’d buy it myself, what the hell, you ain’t gonna get anything better for that price, hell, you ain’t gonna get anything as good for the price” THEY JUST WANTED TO GET OUT OF ALABAMA. And I mean, MOOD, BIG MOOD.

In fact the money they were asking for was basically to pay off loans and costs on all the New Stuff they put into it to begin with.

Because of them basically gouging their asking price in half an old lady had come to see it same day and at first the husband was like WHOEVER GETS US THE MONEY FIRST but talking to us the wife was like HELL NO THAT OLD LADY COULD BARELY GET IN THE THING SHES JUST GONNA DRIVE IT DOWN TO FLORIDA AND LET IT ROT THIS IS OUR BABY THESE GIRLS NEED TO TAKE CARE OF IT AND THEY WILL and she ran interference through the weekend until our mechanic friend could go check it out.

You might ask “if you have a buttload of money why an RV” but in trying to get out of Alabama and all the way back to Oregon where I literally KNOW I can make it work out in life for us, for reasons that are a whole story unto themselves, the moving costs cross country alone for a uhaul would be expensive AF. Downpayments. Finding pet friendly apartments. And then whether it was portland or somewhere else we could get STUCK. And we’re tired of getting stuck. So we’re packing up our own FUCKING house that we FUCKING own outright that fucking NOBODY can take away from us and with NO payment obligations and FUCK THE SYSTEM.

So anyway this big fuckin honker the wife was like WHY ARE YOU SO COMFORTABLE DRIVING THIS to Shea, but Shea worked for both Uhaul and Hertz so like hauling bigassed trucks around was kinda her thing and she also worked horses so giant ass horse trailers, you name it. So she just got up in there like she belonged and next thing you know we’re doing 65 down the bendy ass mountain freeways of central alabama like we been doing it for years

PS when you are in a literal fucking house 65 feels like 90, I’m just letting you know that now.

We’re still at our house cuz we gotta get this properly under our own tag/insurance and get a tow for the car. It was funny though cuz experienced or not knowing it was OUR LITERAL HOUSE Shea started like GOTTA BE CAREFUL GOTTA BE CAUTIOUS GOTTA MAKE SURE NOBODY DUMB and it turned into GET OUT THE WAY FUCKERS I’LL WIN within the 120 mile haul back home. Like BITCH I’LL TAKE MY FOOT OFF THE GAS BUT I AINT GONNA TRY TO JACK RABBIT STOP THIS FUCKER SO YOU BETTER GET SOME GIDDYUP IF YOU GONNA MERGE YOU FRIGGIN HONDA

This beast only has 65K miles on it. And that sounds like a lot but for an RV that isnt S H I T. People are like, if you can find a used one under 100K you’re doing okay. Half of those miles are just taking it out for a jog because you’re supposed to drive it once every couple weeks to keep it from rusting out basically. They just safely drove it in like a tristateish area down here for a few years as you can see on the cabinet stickers and moved around to sports games and shit and had fun.

The bedroom is purple. The kitchen is blue and yellow. KJSDKJFSjk she was like “Fuck the 1990 floral wallpaper we updating, there’s extra paint in one of the storage bins if you wanna touch any of it up”

So that’s it. We’re gonna do some work with said mechanic friend on the AC and a few tweaky details and as said, gotta tag/insurance/tow but once we get that worked out, that’s it, that’s home starting in a few weeks. 

We’re heading to Independence, Missouri first to touch base with my internet momma then swinging in Salt Lake City to meet old media friends like the folks at Arrowstorm and stopping to enjoy their stuff at Evermore Park before hitting Portland which, reasonably, I’ll guestimate we’ll be at like a week or two before Halloween but maybe we’ll make better time. If you’re en route to those destinations and wanna meet up, lemme know, we’re still gonna have fun on the way and try to record shit. 

Portland is the city I know how to work to and from the bone. I can turn any quarter into at least a dollar there, quite literally; I know how to eat eight times a day for free if need be. I reasonably think we can stay WELLLLLLLL above the line of needing that kind of assistance but because Shea is very anxiety driven to know we outright have a promised home and have promised food if worst case scenarios happen really made her go, you know what, fuck it, sure, Portland, you loved Portland, the wages are good in Portland, let’s do Portland.

If we start with dry camping at locations with free plug ups even still paying for Shea’s car and insurance, once major gas costs GETTING there are done, we’ll be running about 500 a month, and again, that’s including insurance for both vehicles and paying off her car note. Depending on the lot we land at, 700-900 a month. I can float that on my casual residual income. Everything after that is profit. Everything after that is success. I refuse to let Shea be anything less than Okay, but most of all, weird and nonconformative as it is, everything after this is scales of success. Hell minus the car note we’d be under 600/mo on the pricy end. We got dis. 

No more of my wife being convinced she needs to performatively pull loans on her livelihood and shelter for the illusion of a 3/2 middle class life with a picket fence and a job she hates in a place she hates that she doesn’t know how to get away from. Hell, if she ends up hating Oregon? WE CAN PICK UP OUR HOUSE AND MOVE.

QUEER CULTURE IS HAVING THE MILLENNIUM FALCON OF RVS RAINBOW PAINTED INTERNALLY TO HAUL ASS TO PORTLAND OREGON AND AINT SHIT YOU CAN DO TO STOP US, FUCKERS.

It’s literally parked in our yard right now awaiting our voyage.

You bet your ass we’re getting an aux cord and blaring classic rock on surround sound the whole goddamn way

Also gonna get a CB radio to roll with some of the better trucker herds out there. Trust me, solid investment for a multitude of reasons. And entertaining.

If you don’t know what Smokie In The Woods is on a CB radio, you don’t know the road.

It also comes with a lot of gadgets you usually have to buy, like converters for USB chargers in older vehicles and the cable antenna and an extra tent and hell they left two bikes on it like YALL WANT EM YOU CAN HAVE EM, SURE

So buying the RV, paying the friend for the loss of a work day, the necessary gas to get out there, and the tow all in all is gonna run us about 12,000 bucks total, which isn’t a bad deal for bringing your own house with you.

We already burned a few thousand of our settlement trying to fix this house before the bad news and/or upkeeping bills but now it’s time to burn it and walk. By the time we roll I’m expecting us to have about 4K over costs in the bank, which is... enough. It’s more of a nest egg than we’d have if we stayed here that’s for sure, covers emergencies on the way there and gives us a few months to get our shit together. Even the part-iest part time job out in Portland will float any overhead on bills much less if shea can fall in with all the media and digital work out there with her graphic design and art, we’re eyeing the portland saturday market to sell her stuff at in season too. SCREW THE SYSTEM YALL

[lady-olive-oil]

Work Out: Chapter 1

The moment you’ve all been waiting for; chapter 1 of Work Out. It took a lot out of me to finally get this out and im glad it’s here. The song in this is My Love For You by Sevyn Streeter, and I’m having it to where Geneva sings a few songs and have written some. Hence why it’s so long and the lyrics are in it, i recommend you listen to it while Geneva sings. So without further ado, here we go! If ya wanna be apart of my Lil Nasties Tag Squad, let me know!

Warning(s): nothing but language and a few heated moments

Word Count: 3,009 [i snapped]

Lil Nasties: @maddiestundentwritergaines || @themyscxiras || @sparklemichele || @designerwriterchic || @honeychicana || @chaneajoyyy || @jojolu || @dc41896 || @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove || @jozigrrl

-3 Weeks Later-

“What in the pink Himalayan salt, is this shit?!”

The year barely started and I was already in deep with issues. With trying to open up my own gym; moving and trying to spend time with my friends, my soon to be ex husband just had to add more things to his side of the divorce settlement.

“Genevieve Leona. Language.” Her father had the chance to look over the new settlement that she has given, checking to see if there were any plausible loopholes.

Placing a gentle kiss on her father's graying cheek, she handed him a glass of water, before sitting across from him at the island.

“Sorry dad. But you of all people should know how difficult this is. You've handled cases harder than this.”

“Sweet pea, I get it. I do, but I need for you to calm down please?”

His hardworking hands were placed on top of my delicate one's, trying to ease my pain. Who knew that going through a divorce was so time consuming and dreadful.

“He just works my nerves. I’m glad I went with the prenup before hand, because he would've gotten half of my building space. Which I’m not having that.”

Opening my own space is a dream of mine, something I've always wanted since I was 12. Whether is was going to become a gym; a skating rink or a combination of both, I was going to have it. Jake knows about it too, but he doesn’t like seeing me succeed more than him.

“We’ll get this all straightened out soon enough. In the meantime, don’t work yourself up over this clown. Like ya mama says ‘he ain’t worth hella beans.’ She’s wise you know. Imma head on home, and we’ll talk more later.” A hearty chuckle escaped him, as he kissed my head before heading to his car, to make it home before the sunset.

“I know, I know. She was right about this one, maybe. Call me when you get home, pops. Ok?” Giving him one more goodbye kiss, I waved at him before making it back inside.

“Operation: Get Jake out of my Life, is a go. All I need is some wine and dancing. I know just who to call.”

Picking up the phone to dial the FaceTime group chat, I was greeted by the other two angels in my life.

“What’s up golden girls. Y’all busy this weekend?”

“Nah not really no. We could go out tonight, I just finished up the schedule for the upcoming comic con in July. Gotta have costumes on deck to win. Ryan and I are good to go, his work thing ain’t till Thursday right?

Destiny never stopped working, even after college she made sure her coin was on point.

“I’m free this weekend too. Yeah him and John have this medical convention Thursday, which I clocked it to be 15 min away, so we all good to tag along as a group. Whatcha have in mind?”

Cynthia, our resident spy, could never be too careful when it came to men she dated. But Johnny never gave her a reason to doubt him.

“Skate night at Roller Jam. I need to get loose for a few hours to some Cool & The Gang. Besides it’ll give y’all a chance to see ya girl get down on some wheels.”

Roller skating has been in my blood since I was in the womb. My parents met at a roller skating rink and they’ve been groovin ever since. I happen to be the captain of my own roller skating team called Roller Queens. Best team to ever roll into Staten Island.

“I can get down with that, be like old times.” Destiny agreed.

“Great times. Oh what about Mr. Tall, blonde and gorgeous? Have you talked to him lately?” Cynthia changed the subject.

“Ha ha. No I haven’t. But he has been blowing up my Instagram like crazy. I have replied a bit though, nothing too drastic. Some chicks  have been messaging me like ‘get away from him’; ‘he doesn’t want a hoe like you’ or ‘you’re not his type. Step off’ These little girls man, I’m telling you.”

It’s not like I don’t want Florian, I mean who doesn’t? Have you seen him lately? All jokes aside, I’m not looking for anything serious right now no way. I’m too busy trying to get my divorce finalized.

“We know you clapped them back. No time for the girls, this is grown woman ish.”

“What Dede said.” Cynthia chuckled a bit, candying is all to join in and I saw her man in the background. So I gave him a wave before looking at the time.

“Speaking of time, it’s getting late. I have to go get Leilani from the recording studio today since Lucas has their car and his game ran late. Plus Donny is on a date so, Older sister to the rescue.”

“We’ll see you at the rink Friday, ok?” Destiny said as she moved around the kitchen only for Ryan to say hi to me as well.

“Yeah. At like 5 ish, it’s late skate so it’s better. See y’all later. Mwha!” Sending then both my love and kisses, we hung up and went on about our business.

As I got ready to head downtown, I got a text from Michael saying he’s still in town for the next few weeks. That could only mean one thing: it was for business. Which also meant that Florian would be with him too. Maybe my week we starting to look up. I texted him what studio I’d be at, kill two birds with one stone.

Walking into the studio, I heard the smooth R&B sounds of Leilani’s voice through the speakers. This is where she’s always in her element, she turns everything out and puts her all into her vocals and practices. I couldn’t be more prouder of my siblings for going for their dreams.

“Good job little bird. Come out real quick would ya?” I smiled happily as she walked out the booth, proceeding to give me a hug in return.

“You really think I’m good? I know I need more practice, but I know I’m getting better day by day. How’s life going for you? Jake still being a little shit?” Leilani arched a brow, sitting in the chair across from me.

“As always. He added more “demands” to our divorce settlement, and I’m pretty sure I can’t meet them at all. So he’s stuck with his shit, and I keep mine.” I shrugged a tad, spinning in my chair and Leilani gave me a look.

“Well I hope he gets what he’s asking for cause all this is too much on me, and I ain’t even the one divorcing him. Let’s get your mind off of it, why don’t you go sing in the booth one time?” She suggested and the look turned into a smile.

“Me? In the booth? I haven’t done that in years Lei.” 6 years to be exact, but who's counting.

“That’s just it. Give it a shot and try it. That one song you were working on for the talent show, back home. What was it called?” She really wanted me to sing for her once. Anything for my sister I guess.

“My Love For You. It’s called My Love For You.”

“See?! Please sis? I want to hear you sang one time. I got Marcus here and we can cut it real fast. Nothing like a side hobby next to skating right? Please!” Leilani held my hands and gave me a puppy dog pout.

“Fine! Fine I’ll do it.” I broke down and earned a squeal from her, as I went into the booth. Putting on the headphones I saw Michael and  Florian walk in just in time.

“Oh snap, cuzzo going in the booth.” Michael received a hug from Leilani, before he introduced her Florian who was a smitten kitten over seen Geneva again.

“Yeah yeah. Mike, don’t distract me please I’m in my zone. And you brought Florian too. Now I gotta show out.” I shook my shoulders a bit, receiving some laughs from the group before getting the signal from Marcus.

“Yes I’m here too. Michael didn’t tell me you could sing. So I am interested even more now.” The smirk that etched his perfect face wasn’t helping the fact that he looked good in his red track suit. Jesus be a fence.

Did it get hot in here? The heat must be on cause my face was feeling warm, when he smirked at me. I can not lose myself over this man.

“I’m ok. Been a while but maybe it’ll all come back to me soon.”

With a slight nod, I opened my phone to the lyrics I had saved in my notes, and just went with the rhythm. I had to think of something that made me happy in order to do the song. At the time it was Jake but, now I just had myself.

The track started off and Leilani was already vibing to the beat. Michael was too, with Florian soon falling in line. Controlling my breathing, getting the hang of it all over again. Hearing the background vocals, I got into the groove.

I, I'm saving all the

I'm saving all my love for you (to you, I)

I'm saving all the love (whoo, oh)

I'm saving all my love for you

Looking straight at Florian, I decided pour all my emotion into the song to practically let him know what i was feeling without being direct.

Ridin' round town in your black Impala

With my baby, yeah, that's my partner

Look the other way when they tryna holler

So unbothered, we're so unbothered

See I got niggas slidin' in my DMs

Stevie Wonderin' if I'ma ever see 'em

But I don't pay that shit no mind

No, I don't give that shit no time, no time

I just curve 'em from the a.m. to the p.m

Oh, baby, you're the reason

That none of these niggas can touch me

Ain't none of these niggas get lucky

No, no, no, no, no

Florian’s POV

“Man, I think she’s singing to you.” Michael lean over towards me, mumbling about something as a smirk appeared on my face.

“Maybe so. Remember the bet I told you about, that we set at the New Years party? I still have to prove myself to her a lot if I want to make this work.” I mentioned while leaning against the wall. Entranced by her voice.

“Yeah yall both told me about it actually. You think you can do it? I mean she’s pretty persistent with whom she dates. Last guy only lasted 3 weeks, on top of her on going divorce cause Jake plays too much.” Michael had informed me about her future ex husband and how much of a moocher he is. The faster he leaves, the better chance I have.

“Better me than him.” I knew i had to make a good impression on her at least, because she hasn’t been treated right in so long from what I’ve been told by her friends. Giving her my undivided attention, I know she felt the sudden shift in change.

Geneva’s POV

Whatever the boys were talking about must’ve been important, by the way there were engaged in the topic. Once Florian looked at me again I got back into the zone, hitting those notes.

Only you, yeah, it's only you that get my attention

Only you, swear it's only you, ain't no competition, no

'Cause baby, you give me everything that I've been missin'

That's why I'm saving all my love for you

yeah yeah, saving all my love

Saving all my love for you

(I'm saving all my love)

Saving, saving all my love, I'm saving all my love for you

It ain't with nobody else, you got it all to yourself

Just keep doin' what you do, baby

And I'ma keep saving all my love for you

Oh oh oh

Saving all my love for you, saving all my love for you

(I, I'm saving all the love I'm saving all my love for you) Yeah

I felt the rhythm all over my body while moving to the beat, imagining what it would be like to be with someone who might actually love me for me.

Yeah, if I had a hundred, I would break you off a fifty

Yeah, I know you'd do the same, I know you'd split it with me

Yeah, on ya team, Micheal Jordan, Scottie Pippin

Long as we got each other, I ain't trippin'

You the one, you the realest, you the realest (I, I)

Only you, yeah, it's only you (only you) that get my attention

Only you, swear it's only you, ain't no competition, no

'Cause baby, you give me everything that I've been missin' (oh)

That's why I'm saving all my love for you

“Oh shit, sis is snappin on the vocals.” I could hear Leilani through the cracked door with one headphone on my right ear. It felt good seeing her vibe to me singing, it was something we do growing up. To get that opportunity again was amazing. Florian kept smirking at me, with a sudden lovey look in his green-gold eyes. He was leaning by Marcus, on the soundboard just in tranced by everything. I gave it my all and even hit a high note in there.

Saving, saving saving all my love

Saving all my love for you

I been saving (saving it for you)

(I'm saving all my love)

Saving all my love, saving all my love for you

You got it all to yourself

Just keep doin' what you do, baby

And I'ma keep saving all my love (all my) for you, oh (oh yeah)

Saving all my love (my love) for you, saving all my love for you

All (you) my (you) love (you) for you

(You) all (you) of my love saving all my love

You got it all to yourself

Just keep doin' what you do baby, yeah yeah

You got it all to yourself

Just keep doin' what you do baby, doin' what you do baby, yeah

You got it all to yourself

Just keep doin' what you do baby, doin' what you do baby, yeah yeah

You got it all to yourself

Just keep doin' what you do, baby, doin' what you do, baby, hey

Oh, what you do to me, baby

Oh, what you do to me, baby

I, I'm saving all the

I'm saving all my love for you (for you, I)

I, I'm saving all the

I'm saving all my love for you

Sending a wink in Florian’s direction, the game had started for us both. I had remembered that skate night was this weekend, the perfect opportunity to get this bet started. Coming out the booth feeling giddy about myself, I received a hug from my sister gaining my confidence over tenfold.

“You my dear, have a gift.” Florian took my hand and placed a kiss on top of it, trying to sway my way.

“Thanks. It’s one of my hidden talents, that I let you see without an ulterior motive.” with an arch in my brow, I gained a few laughs in the room. Looking him up and down, he eyed me too.

“You plan on giving me a show with your other talents, love?” He arched his brow as well, biting his bottom lip. Michael and Leilani were eating up the commentary.

Leilani took a picture of me for a split second, along with getting one of Florian with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Now yall both can either kiss already or do the first challenge. Am I right?” Mike reminded us both, setting the whole mood in motion.

“He’s right. Listen, this friday there’s a skate night at my old stomping grounds; Roller Jam in Staten Island. If you can skate to the beat, with some rhythm, I’ll go on a date with you.” crossing my arms across my chest, I felt confident in myself and always up for a challenge.

“Roller skating? You may have to help me out then. I’m tall enough but willing to learn.” Florian nodded in agreement and smiled genuinely at me. He handed me his phone to plug his number in, to set the game in motion and vice versa.

Sending the directions to the skating rink to him, I managed to take a picture of myself for the contact, and he did one for his in my phone. Before I left with my sister I set the tone of the challenge, standing on my tippy toes in my vermillion Nike Air Maxs, and placed a sweet kiss to his cheek. Looking into the reflective mirror on the wall I saw his cheeks turn red. His scent caught my senses, and it was intoxicating. He smelled like a warm fire and cocoa, something I wouldn't mind snuggling up against. Pulling away, I saw him look into my eyes for a split second, drawing me in but I had to be strong.

“Let the games begin, Munteanu.” With a gentle whisper against his ear, I grabbed my things and left him there speechless. Watching him watch me walk away with a sway in my hips.

“Let the games begin indeed, Shaw.” he was biting his plump bottom and giving me a once over one last time.

“You got it bad for my cousin bro. Let’s just hope for your sake, Jake doesn't come around and try to win her back.” I heard my cousin say to Florian as they left as well.

“I’d like to seem him try. I never lose.” the confidence in his voice stirred something in me, awakened the desire in me to finally be happy.

If Jake thinks he can mess up my fun, well he’s got another thing coming.

[smartcookie727]

Starfarers: Chapter 2

Happy gajevy day yall! I am so excited for all the love for my dear gajevy. This is where I finished off the original prompt for my Eden’s Zero crossover fic but we have now turned into a multichap. Levy dives into the deep end this time, and we finally meet Gajeel and a few of the crew members of the Iron Dragon. I hope yall enjoy. Leave me a comment, reblog, tag, anything so I know what yall like. Be sure to check out my writing blog @luminescent-words for all fics, WIPs, and everything literary!

Pairing: Gajevy

Length: 2.2k

Levy McGarden has a thriving business and a comfortable life on Blue Garden. But that life was turned upside down the night she crashed into the Captain of the Iron Dragon. Space pirate: Gajeel Redfox. She saved his life that night, and they’ve only grown closer since. Now, he’s got a proposition: come with him and he’ll take her to find what she’s been searching for her entire life.

Chapter 2: Captain

Levy whirled around.

Gajeel.

“Of course I got the note.” Her words tried to come out harsh, but the warmth spreading through her heart dulled their bite.

He was everything she remembered and more. Clad in a simple black shirt and leather jacket, he exuded confidence. Wild raven hair cascaded down his back, tempered by a thick gray bandana that matched the studded embellishments on his clothes and face. His red eyes pierced straight through to her heart. Tall and muscular and tanned from hours outside, he looked like he’d stepped straight out of one of her romance novels—only better.

The curve of his lips sent a shiver down her spine as he inspected her over too. Six weeks was such a long time, and there were so many details that had faded from the picture of him in her mind. The tiny scars on his hands, the sparkle of metal against his skin when his piercings caught the light. Holoscreens and wanted posters could not hope to do him justice.

Then there was his arm. Entirely mechanical, it stretched from the top of his left shoulder all the way down to his fingers. Dots of color and symbols speckled the entirety of the prosthetic, hiding the many gadgets—and weapons—his disposal. Dangerous, alluring, exciting. Real and right in front of her.  

Gajeel flashed a wicked smile. “I knew you’d come. You were never afraid, not even that first night.” He took a long drag of her coffee. The cocky grin plastered across his face vanished in a twist of lips. “That’s no good. Needs whiskey.”

Lifting onto her tiptoes, Levy swiped the cup back. “I’d thank you to not take my things.”

“Ah,” he sighed, “but that’s what pirates do, little Levy.”

She glared up at him. He knew how to push her buttons far too well.

Gajeel laughed and tucked a loose wisp of hair behind her ear. “So, you ready to fly away with Captain Black Steel Gajeel?”

The challenge sparkled in his eyes. Nodding, Levy tossed back the rest of her coffee and raised her leg in a playful kick.

“Will these shoes work?”

He caught her ankle at the top of its arc, tugging just enough to examine the sneaker and her flexibility. Levy hopped to stay upright but managed not to break eye contact.

“Perfect.”

In one swift movement, he released her foot and slid his arm around her waist. Electric whirring filled the air. Then, they were gone.

Levy’s heart raced as her feet touched the floor. Travel by rift always made her nervous, but right now, that wasn’t why her pulse was pounding in her ears. Pressed into his side in a protective hug, Levy could feel the strong, smooth muscle hidden just beneath the fabric of his shirt.

“Wow,” she breathed.

Gajeel glanced down and cracked a devilish smile. Her hands still clutched him for dear life, and she could feel the burn of blush across her cheeks. Levy released him with a huff.  

“I, uh, didn’t know you had a micro-rift. They’re really rare, ya know? And I didn’t even see you had it with you; I feel like I would have noticed—”

Gajeel lifted his mechanical arm.

“Built right in.” Tentatively, she took his outstretched hand. “Pirates like shiny toys, and this one has gotten me out of plenty of pinches since I got it installed.”

Levy’s fingers drifted over the cool metal, tracing the complex command sigils that covered his prosthetic in awe.

“Then why did we have to run?” she asked softly, almost to herself.

Gajeel chuckled, lifting her chin to look her in the eyes. “Smart as a whip, miss McGarden.”

There was something hidden in the depths of his ruby gaze she couldn’t quite place. Something that felt awfully like the burning desire of more. Breath stalled in her chest for a single heart-stopping second as she waited. But nothing came, and the moment dissipated around them like stardust.

Exhaling hard, Gajeel leaned against a nearby panel, tipping his head back and crossing his arms over his chest.

“I gotta modulate the frequency on it every once in a while or the alliance force will lock onto the signal. If that happens it would be too easy for them to find me and my crew.” His eyes grew dark and solemn, lost in a far away memory. “This ship’s my home.”

His ship.

“And I can’t have anyone finding us.” Standing to his full height, he shrugged off the feeling of gloom that had gathered around him. “I was going to Lily’s for a tune up. He’s a wizard when it comes to anything I need to keep the ol’ arm working. But no, he wanted to be a baker.”

They were on his ship.

“And until I can figure a way to build him a confectionery with a delivery vessel off the side of the old girl here, he refuses to close up the shop he’s got on solid ground.” Smiling, he rubbed the back of his neck. “But I’m working on it. Never had a better first mate, though.”

She was on a pirate ship.

“Ahem,” came an icy voice laced with annoyance.

Levy jumped in her shoes. She hadn’t noticed anyone come in.

“Not that you’re not a great first mate, Juvia,” Gajeel groaned, turning to face the newcomer, “but Lily was the better sparring partner.”

The woman strode toward them briskly from across the bridge of the ship, long blue curls bouncing with every step. She acknowledged Levy with a smile that reached all the way to her aqua eyes, before directing a glare at Gajeel.

“Juvia does not take you up on requests to fight anymore because she could incapacitate you in the first few moves.”

“Only cause you’d short circuit my arm.”

Juvia raised a hand to the ceiling. Faint blue sigils flared against her skin and storm clouds gathered above her head.

“Don’t test my patience, Captain. You’re being rude. We have a guest. You haven’t even told her where she is or made a proper introduction.”

“And how the hell would you know what I have or haven’t—”

Gajeel’s eyes ticked back to Levy, who had tucked herself against a nearby corner. “Shit, Lev, this is my ship, and this Juvia. You remember me telling you about her?”

Levy’s heart skipped a beat as all attention focused on her. “Um, hello,” she said with a nervous wave. “Gajeel’s told me about everyone. It’s nice to put a face to the name.”

Before she could step forward to shake the Juvia’s hand, Levy found herself lifted into a hug. Apparently none of his crew had any qualms about separating her from the floor.

“Welcome to the Iron Dragon, Levy. You’re officially sailing with pirates. I’m so glad you’re finally here. Gajeel hasn’t been able to stop talking about his friend for weeks now.” She giggled as she set Levy down. “Any longer and I was coming to find you myself. I’m Juvia. Please come to me if you need anything.” Stepping back, she lightly punched Gajeel’s arm. “Lugnuts might get to call himself Captain, but I take care of most things around here.”

“Hey!” Gajeel barked, “I do Captain stuff all the time.”

Mist gathered above his head, and a large drop of rain landed squarely on his face. Gajeel grumbled something about rust and swatted the cloud away.

“Juvia is first mate around here. She uses weather ether gear. Don’t get on her bad side or she’ll send a shower to follow you around for days.”

“Thank you,” Levy squeaked, “I’ll be sure to take you up on that once I know more about this place.”

The remark seemed to satisfy Juvia, and she turned her attention to a monitor off to the right.

Levy exhaled long and slow, turning in a circle to examine everything. She was on a pirate ship, with Gajeel, the promise of adventure right in front her if she was just willing to reach out and grab it.  

“Wow,” she said under her breath, eyes lighting up like stars.  “So, this is what you wanted to show me?”

Juvia tried and failed to stifle a laugh.  “Smooth, Captain.”

Gajeel shot her a glare that could vaporize anyone else on the spot.

Unfazed, Juvia continued her work at the console. “You pick up everything we need or just that special item you wanted so bad?”

He nodded silently, daring Juvia to try her luck.

With a giggle, she shut off the screen and skipped out of the room. “Well, I’ll go tell Metalicana we’re ready then,” she called over her shoulder before turning down a passage out of sight.

Gajeel pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, turning to face Levy.

“Don’t mind Juvia. She’s quirky, but she’s as smart and loyal as they come. Her favorite pastime is making jokes at my expense, though.”

“We’ll be fast friends then.”  

That earned her a deep chuckle, and the air in the room seemed to relax.

“I did have something I wanted to show ya, Shrimp.” Gajeel took her hand and lead her over to a command panel in front of what could only be the captain’s chair. “You’ve been searching for some real specific scrolls, right? The ones you were so upset about that night. Well,” he pulled up a small section of space on the screen. “I happened to catch word that there’s some ancient scrolls on a planet, right here.” He gestured to a blue sphere on the screen. “Litulla. It’s on the outskirts of the cosmos. Some adventurers with a talking blue cat traded me this as proof.” Bending down, he removed a weathered roll of linen held together with an intricate wax symbol from the large iron chest beside his chair.

Levy’s eyes widened and the familiar words escaped in a hushed breath. “The midnight dove flying across a crescent moon.”

No. This couldn’t be real. They were all supposed to have burned, and yet here it was in the palm of her hand. Gently, she ran her fingers over the symbol.

“I can’t believe you found one.” Levy could feel the pull of ink and stitches in the back of her mind, itching for her to let them in. “They were used by the old council to mark documents of great importance. No one’s seen one in centuries.” Unbidden, a tear fell down her cheek. “This is amazing.”

“So, you ready for a real adventure? Let’s go to the edge of the universe together. Let me take you, Levy.” Gajeel squeezed her shoulder, and she shivered at the sudden coolness of metal against her skin. “Special delivery.”

Levy placed the scroll down and whirled around to grab him in a ferocious hug. She buried her face in his chest.

“Yes.”

His arms settled around her waist, and they stood there for a long moment, just holding each other. Levy bit back a sob. This was more than she’d ever expected. He’d remembered. He’d cared. A small part of her had given up hope on the search a long time ago, just like everyone else. But Gajeel believed. He was going to help her find the answers she’d resigned to live without, and there was nothing she could could do to show him how grateful she was—except go with him.

“Anchors away,” she said with a sniffle.

Bursting into laughter, Gajeel clutched his stomach and fell back into his chair.

“This is a spaceship, Shrimp, not some seafaring boat.”

“Starfarers, then.”

“Yeah”, he chuckled, “I guess so.” Taking a moment, Gajeel gathered his composure and called up a video labeled “Mechanics”. A tall, scarred man with wild salt and pepper hair appeared on the screen.

“Get her roaring, Metalicana!”

The man stared at Levy through the monitor then responded with a raspy grunt. “So this was the sweet you so desperately wanted to come back to this planet for?” He tossed his head back, laughing. “An’ here I thought you were talking ‘bout something Lily was makin’ us.”

Levy gaped as Gajeel turned red as his crimson eyes.

“Just do it, old man,” he barked.

“Nice ta meet ya, kid,” Metalicana said, addressing Levy with a bow. “Don’t let this one push ya around. He’s just a big softie under all that metal.”

Suddenly, the video cut out. “Pops,” Gajeel grumbled.

The floor hummed beneath their feet; Levy felt the prickle of excitement race to the tips of her fingers. Every risk she’d taken on Gajeel had steered her into something wonderful. Now, she was more ready than ever to dive headfirst into the unknown.

A smirk curled the edges of her lips, and Levy gestured with her thumb for Gajeel to get out of the seat. She was always the one who flew and he knew it.

Slowly, Gajeel stood. “My dragon’s a lot harder to handle than that little planet hopper of yours, short stack. Sure you wanna give it a go?”

Levy sat down with all the powerful grace of an oncoming storm. Command screens flickered to life around her, and she set their course without missing a beat.

“You’re not the only one with a few surprises up your sleeve, Captain.” Closing her eyes, Levy breathed in deeply. Her fingers curled around the controls as her smile deepened. “Yo, ho.”