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prurientpuddlejumper · 4 years

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Well This is Strange and Unexpected [Toshinori x Reader] [Part 3]

<- Part 2

Summary: You’re feeling guilty over past mistakes and wake up in a bad mood only a certain human golden retriever can cure.

2,696 words | SFW (but there is some canoodling & severe injury)

Hot tears roll down your cheeks, flowing in burning rivers along the side of your nose, and over your lips, filling your mouth with the taste of salt. Searing pain shoots through your left arm from the elbow up through your shoulder. Every time you move, even in the slightest, unbearable agony rips through your arm and pulses through your whole body like a thing with teeth, consuming you whole. So you sit as still as possible, trying not to move, dreading every breath and every sobbing wail that makes your chest rise and fall, shifting enough to renew the torment.

Your arm is broken, but you don’t understand that. You are four years old, and you have never experienced this kind of pain before.

You just want it to stop.

Mama runs toward you, calling your name. She’ll make it okay again. She’ll help. She’ll make the pain go away. You would do anything to make the pain go away.

She scoops you up in her arms, cooing calming words. Wrapped in her protective embrace, the pain goes away.

You stop crying.

She screams.

“Are you all right?!” A hand shakes your broken arm.

Your eyes shoot open. Lightning blue irises stare back at you from their shadowed sockets.

“No!” you scream, scrambling back until you strike the headboard. “Stay back! Get away from me!”

Toshinori retreats to the door with a yelp, turning his back respectfully and shielding his eyes. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to be creepy, I swear! You were shouting, and I thought...”

Broken? Your arm still throbs with the sensation of being fractured. No. You rub it with your other hand, testing it, and find no pain. Not broken. You knead and stretch the offending limb, massaging away the horrible prickling beneath the skin. You’re fine, you breathe. It’s fine.

Someone is frantically muttering apologies in the doorway.

Crap.

Toshi. He thought you were angry at him. You have to—

You try to hold in a laugh, but, failing, it ungracefully bursts out your nose as a snort.

He is wearing a short pink sweater that shows off his abs, and sweatpants that say “DAT ASS” on the butt.

***

A wave crashed behind you, spraying up sea foam and a million jewels of water that reflected the dazzling fire-colored sky silhouetting your entwined forms. If someone had been standing there with a camera, the frozen snapshot of that moment would have made a stunning poster for a heart-throbbing summer romance film.

Unfortunately, time marches on, and in the next moment, you were both soaking wet in water up to your ankles, fleeing, gasping at the shock of freezing water. You laughed about it, but since you hadn’t taken your shoes off to walk on the beach, and the not-quite-summer sun was sinking below the horizon, the walk back to the train was uncomfortably squishy and cold. The damp chill set off Toshinori’s blood-fueled cough nonstop, making other passengers stare, unsure if they were in the beginning of a zombie film.

Huddling close together for warmth the entire way home, however, somehow made all the shivering worth it.

He insisted on getting off at your stop and walking you home—he couldn’t let you go off all alone freezing! In turn, you refused to let him go home covered with goosebumps and hacking up blood everywhere. You lent him some dry clothes, but he is so much taller than you, all of your shirts fit him like crop tops. You’re not sure why he had to pick those sweatpants though. He claimed it was because they were the most comfortable pair, but you didn’t quite believe that reason as he twisted his hips to show off the ass-writing while grinning like an idiot.

“Nope. You are not walking home like that,” you said dryly.

“Aw, come on. I’m adorable.”

“Yes. But someone will beat you up.”

“It wouldn’t be a date with you if I didn’t get beat up.”

“Couch!” you growled, dragging him across the living room and pushing his shoulders down onto the sofa. He was being so goofy all of a sudden. You’d never seen him in such a relaxed, cheerful mood—and it was infectious. You couldn’t resist climbing onto the couch after him, straddling his lap. He folded his arms around your neck and laid back, drawing you down on top of him. Your nose was an inch from his, and your face grew hot with the desire to kiss him again. A throaty hum rumbled in his chest.

This wild-haired scarecrow man smiling up at you between your arms. On your couch. You swallowed, a squeezing in your heart. He was so affectionate, like a stray dog once it warms up to you—like he craved it. And he was good at it.

His hands began to slide up your shirt, watching your face for hesitation. When you let out a shuddered sigh and relaxed more of your weight onto him, he started caressing the curve of your waist and ribs, hands enveloping most of your back—so large for such a slender man, though in proportion with his height. He leaned up, but instead of kissing you, missed your lips and nipped your ear. You let out a pleased gasp, which elicited a devilish grin from him, full of teeth.

Your heart beat faster. You wanted more. You were lying on top of him with his hands under your shirt—it seemed like more was where this was headed, and yet… how could you? The squeezing in your chest tightened; became constricting. He only likes you because he thinks you’re heroic. All that stuff you told him about your quirk, about wanting to help him, that’s what attracted him. Just like his refusal to take advantage of your ability turned you on. But he had the wrong idea. You’re the opposite of heroic. Would he still want you if he knew the real you?

You barely knew him, either, come to think of it. And there you were canoodling like teenagers.

You realized his hands had paused on their path up your back, and his lopsided grin had sunk into a worried frown, tension tugging at the creases of his eyes. The giddy, intoxicated atmosphere between you turned harshly sober. Did he notice your sudden panic, or was he having his own second thoughts?

A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHONE CALL IS HERE! A PHONE CALL IS HERE!

Bless that obnoxious ringtone. It broke the silence that had fallen between you, and you both jerked upright, straight as boards, straightening your clothes, a discreet sigh of relief escaping both your lips.

“S-sorry, I need to take this.” He clapped a silencing hand over the phone as he held it to his ear, quickly retreating into the bathroom and closing the door. Apparently, it was private. You could just make out a few hushed words, “All set?”, “...internships…”, “good.”

“Do you have to leave?” You asked as he finished the call. God, you hoped it wouldn’t end on such an abrupt, awkward note.

“No, no, everything is fine, just checking in. I'll actually be free most of the week,” he smiled. “Well, freer than usual, anyway.”

He sat back on the couch next to you. You both flushed again, a bit unsure if the other wanted to resume... whatever was about to happen. “Ah, m-movie?” You offer.

He wanted nothing more than the reprieve of a familiar activity. A movie would be a welcome distraction to cool off from the conflicting uncertainty of moving way too fast. Yet, he couldn’t let the fire be extinguished that easily without paying it proper tribute first.

He took your hand and drew it to his lips, keeping his eyes on you as he kissed each knuckle. Your heart pounded. He smiled mischievously, and let out a chuckle, raising his eyebrows in commiseration, “A movie would be great.”

Less than an hour later, he was snoring softly, mouth hanging half-open. Quietly turning off the television, you tried to disentangle yourself from his arms without waking him. You threw a warm blanket over his gangly form, curled in on itself to keep from spilling over the sides of the sofa. Silently mouthing, “Goodnight,” you tip-toed back to your room.

***

“Toshi, wait, it’s not you! I was having a nightmare,” you stretch out your hand to beckon him back, wiping sleep from the corners of your eyes. “And I’m wearing pajamas, you don’t have to hide your eyes,” you add with a yawn.

He had peeked out from behind his hand at your outburst of laughter, suddenly not sure whether he had grievously offended you or not. This new development seems reassuring.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he says, penitent.

You had already startled yourself most of the way out of the covers, so you sit the rest of the way up and throw your legs over the edge of the bed. You shake your head.

“You didn’t. I was just… afraid of hurting you.”

“Hurting me?”

Morning light filters in through the window, casting glowing shapes over the blanket and floor. It’s a sunny day, but your body feels heavy, like there’s a rainstorm outside. Though you’re awake, the nightmare lingers in the air. Its dark clouds had parted momentarily thanks to this enormous puppy dog’s wardrobe choice, but they close in around you again, suffocating.

And there he is—your gaunt, ungainly puppy’s head tilting slightly, trying to figure out what’s wrong. He looks… nervous? He doesn’t know what to do in this situation. It’s weird. Ugh, why are you being like this? He’s too thoughtful, and you’re being weird. Shouting in your sleep and then being all ominous and moody. Taking up his time. Embarrassing.

But you may as well explain.

You recount the dream. Memories, really. Replayed and repackaged a thousand different times courtesy of your brain. The details and facts might change, but the essential truth remains the same: you hurt somebody close to you, and it could happen again.

As you talk, your heartsick expression drives him to sit down next to you and take your hand, massaging your palm between his thumb and fingers.

“You were just a kid. It wasn’t your fault. Kids accidentally hurt people all the time when they manifest their quirks. It can be ugly, but it’s a fact of our super-powered society. You can’t blame yourself.”

Your eyes focus in and out on a pattern on the wrinkled blanket beneath you, where a printed line meets a neat row of stitches. Should you tell him? You chew on the inside of your lips. Does it matter? It was so long ago.

“That wasn’t the only time,” you finally croak, a tightness in your throat. “Remember the I-almost-died story? How I learned my lesson about playing hero and using my quirk more than I could handle? I made it sound like I was the victim. But I left something out that… changes things.”

A villain attack damaged the school. Emergency services hadn't arrived yet and all of your wounded classmates were looking at you like you were the solution to all their problems. And you thought, this is my chance to prove I can save lives. That I’m not a monster who breaks people.

Every part of your body screamed out in agony. You writhed on the ambulance bed like a feral animal blindly lashing out, though every movement shot a crackle of lightning behind your eyes. There was no position you could lay in that didn’t hurt. Each breath was like glass shards rattling in your chest. All rational thought was drowned out by the pain screaming in your ears, burning you like fire. Every moment was more than you could endure.

Only one impulse remained: Make it stop. Please, make it stop.

“A medical technician made the mistake of touching me, and I hurt them. Bad. Just trying to escape my own body—to save myself from my own stupid mistake.

“I always pretend it wasn’t my fault. It was because my classmates kept asking me to help, even though they knew it was hurting me. It was because All Might made it seem noble to grit your teeth and smile through the pain. It was everybody else’s fault for making me go past my limits. Except it wasn’t. I was the one who did it. I was the one who couldn't control myself.”

“Yeah, that was pretty stupid,” he says plainly. Oh. That was blunt. He sighs and tips his head to the side. “Did you want me to scold you for it? It sounds like you already know exactly what you did wrong, and you’ve beaten yourself up plenty.”

It wasn’t the most comforting thing to say—more like he was lecturing a child—but to be honest, if he had sugarcoated it and told you it wasn’t that bad, you wouldn’t have believed him.

“I just... don’t want you to have the wrong impression of me. You probably think I’m a good person, but I’m not. I’m a villain!”

He actually laughs. Then he sees your face.

Toshinori’s eyes flick wide in a moment of panic, realizing he was being callous, before instantly transforming into comfort mode. He puts his arm around your shoulders. You hadn’t realized you were on the verge of tears until you instinctively turn and bury your head in his chest. Dark wet spots appear on the borrowed sweater where your face presses into it.

“You are not a villain, young lady.” He kisses the top of your head, nuzzling your hair. “Nothing like one.”

“But I still used my quirk, even after all that, knowing it could have happened again. When I make a mistake, people get hurt. And I broke the law! I’m not licensed!”

“It was to help someone you saw in need. You reacted. It was brave, especially knowing how worried you must have been about using it.”

“Yeah? I doubt All Might would see it that way.” Your words, hitched and muffled in the pink sweater, are needlessly sharp, but you don’t care about insulting his stupid idol right now. “Any hero would still just see illegal public quirk use. There's only good and evil with heroes, no in between, and clearly I'm on the wrong side.”

His grip around you becomes fiercer, his teeth gritting, like he’s trying to squeeze the sadness out of you. “I am absolutely certain he would not want you to feel that way. Only an idiot would think you're evil.”

Well, All Might is an idiot, you think, but don’t say, choosing instead to bury your face into his chest again. Even if you could speak through the crushing pressure of his arms, you wouldn’t want to spoil the moment, or end the comforting, consuming weight of his embrace. When he finally lets up, you gasp for air. He takes your shoulders firmly but reassuringly, hands so large his thumbs rest tenderly on the sides of your neck. He blinds you with his bright blue eyes.

“When you make a mistake, you learn from it, and keep moving forward.”

His voice is so deep and confident, yet so gentle. The way he says it makes it sound easy, and the heavy storm clouds begin to evaporate into the morning air.

“Just move forward, huh?”

He nods. “It’s a dangerous gift you have, but you weren’t afraid to use it when someone needed help. In fact, you insisted you’d use it again in an emergency, even if I told you not to.” He smiles warmly, his thumbs ghosting up and down the crook of your neck. “Why is that?”

You slowly let out a breath. “Because I know my limits now, and how to defend my boundaries. I know I won’t lose control again.”

“That doesn’t sound like a villain at all,” he lifts a brow.

“No… I guess not.” You wipe your eyes on your pajama sleeves, sniffling. “Dammit, you squeezed the sad out of me!” You laugh. He’s a little confused, but glows when he sees you smiling again.

#Toshinori yagi #toshinori x reader #all might x reader #All Might #emotional hurt/comfort #fluff #READER HAS ANGST #yes he's wearing that ridiculous outfit during the entire scene #but you know what? he pulls it off #my writing

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richtofenz · 2 years

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hello! so i wanted to get this out of the way cuz it’s important to me.

as we all know, in codz, ultimis richtofen wears a nazi uniform. typically, that'd be immediately condemnable and anyone attempting to justify it would look like a real piece of shit, but richtofen's a special case because, while his nazi association is completely ret-conned within the storyline, to the extent he shouldn't even own a nazi party pin, let alone a uniform, that ret-con, for some reason, isn't extended to his character model in the later games. the nazi insignia are censored by bo3/bo4, but he's very clearly still wearing a ww2 german uniform.

richtofen, in world at war, does start off as a nazi. he's in the german army in that game. but by bo1, they'd come up with a storyline and realized they didn't want a nazi for a protagonist, so they completely changed his character. the richtofen we know so well is a scientist. he's not a soldier; he has no reason to be in that uniform. and he’s not a mengele-esque doctor anymore, either, as he was likely intended to be in WaW. he’s certainly not any type of SS officer (which i’ve seen some fanart make him and oh my g-d i hate that shit. what is wrong with people). group 935 works under the nazis after maxis decides to cut a deal for funding, yes, but richtofen canonically expresses disdain at this arrangement several times.

but being governed by the nazis, as many german companies and organizations were during that era, doesn’t indicate allegiance, and it certainly doesn’t indicate that an individual shared the beliefs of the party. and, once more, as a scientist who wasn’t in the army, there’s legitimately no reason for him to be wearing that uniform. so logically, one can’t conclude he’s a nazi by his outfit alone because it doesn’t make sense, and even if you thought “he wouldn’t be wearing it if he didn’t feel at least neutral towards nazism”, again, that defies the audio logs that feature him subtly insulting the nazi regime. additionally, nolan north (his va) explicitly went on record saying richtofen’s not a nazi, which means, even if canon proof wasn’t enough for someone to be convinced, that’s word of god from the va, and, by proxy, from the rest of the people behind codz.

the way i see it, yes, ultimis richtofen, after the mpd incident, is a murderous and sadistic bastard who probably wouldn’t feel strongly opposed to nazi atrocities. he’s hardly ethical and has very little empathy, so yeah, he probably wouldn’t be entirely anti-nazi. by that point, he becomes an opportunist who doesn’t care who he has to hurt to achieve his goals, so he certainly wouldn’t care about anyone who’s not in front of him. outside suffering would be irrelevant. but prior to that, regardless of one’s individual interpretation of him, consider this: richtofen was a queer man living in nazi-controlled territory. he’s also a scientist, and in the early 1930s, many of the most prominent and groundbreaking scientists of the time were jewish, and do you know what one of the first things the nazis did when they came to power was? they expelled all the jewish scientists from their research facilities, forcing many to flee to other countries so they could return to their work and continue to support their families.

now, codz is a ridiculous storyline and it feels silly to look at it through this lens, but if we think of it realistically, how many jewish colleagues and friends did richtofen lose contact with? and if at any point he was active in germany’s once substantial gay scene (which, given his dialogue, i wouldn’t doubt), how many friends did he watch be imprisoned under paragraph 175, or even sent to camps? hell, it’s probable some of his 935 colleagues knew he wasn’t straight, it could’ve even been an open secret - imagine living in the fear that if he pissed someone at work off, he could get turned in and sent away? with the nazi funding, they could’ve even had officers on the 935 premises - that’d be scary enough on its own, but with post-mpd richtofen’s increased paranoia, too? g-d.

ultimis richtofen is so campy and silly and obnoxious that we forget, but he very likely used to be the similar to the primis richtofen everyone loves so much; all that anxiety and sadness, only living under oppressive nazi rule. he was queer and probably mentally ill (even before the mpd, imo, and then even more ‘visibly’ after, considering he suffered from psychosis-like symptoms) and, in my personal headcanon, neurodivergent too. after mpd corruption, i think he’d perceive nazi ideals as silly and petty and beneath him, but also not his concern, but before? they were an active threat. he was probably never the truly empathetic type, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of the threat of the nazi regime, to him and his peers. additionally, both richtofens are stubborn, leader-types who hate being told what to do. no richtofen would appreciate fascism lol. AND, even if he wasn’t entirely empathetic to the people affected by the nazis, he’s still a proud german. he’d hate to see his beautiful country torn apart because of the ego and delusions of the raving warmongering monstrous piece of shit in power.

i wish, very much, that there was a canon explanation for his outfit. but in the absence of one, i’ve created my own. group 935 was sent POWs to experiment on, right? in my headcanon, they’d been sent some captured enemy spies, maybe brits, who’d been posing as german soldiers to set up ambushes. the uniforms had been confiscated upon arrival. after dealing with maxis, richtofen, knowing that prior to reaching a teleporter, he’d be leading three foreigners across nazi-occupied land, including an american and a soviet soldier, thought it’d be smart if he dressed up so he could fake being an officer if they encountered any german outposts. now, it doesn’t explain why he’s got the outfit on in the giant intro, although that’s especially never made sense. but i think it’s a sufficient explanation for the travesty that is the game never explaining it or just fucking fixing it.

anyway. all that being said, i totally understand and respect anyone who dislikes ultimis richtofen. but he’s become pretty important to me and his outfit is like a smack in the face and i just wanted to get some thoughts on it out there. i wish more people drew him in his lab coat! he’s such good mad scientist rep, i wanna see him looking like one! gimme richtofen in a bloody labcoat laughing maniacally pls pls pls pls pls pls pls

#codz #edward richtofen #mine

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kkusuka · 3 years

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HQ poly Headcannons pt. 2

Poly Headcannons <3 part 1

pairs: Oikawa & Ushijima, Hanamaki & Matsukawa, Suna & Osamu, Kita & Aran, iwaizumi & Kyotani, and Oikawa & Kageyama

nsfw and sfw

Oikawa Tooru & Ushijima Wakatoshi

Sfw

This was an interesting match up

Considering the fact that Tooru can barely stand sharing you sometimes, they seem to make it work!

You were most likely Ushiwaka’s girlfriend, and Tooru just couldn't stand for that

Well at first he didn't really know that fact

He met you in the stans after an Alders game that he 100% wasn't there to spy on Toshi or to see how much better he got, no way

But luckily, you the beautiful angel of light, sat next to him to cheer for Waka’s team!

So after the game when Tooru was flirting with you and you completely ignored him to go to your boyfriend, Oikawa was more than let down

And you ignored him for the brick wall???? He just didn't understand.

Now he wanted you more than he did when he saw you, even more so that you belonged to the bastard Ushiwaka.

After almost 8 months of befriending you, he finally weaseled into your relationship! And Ushiwaka was so whipped for you he let it happen!

But at that point, he was so whipped for you that he didn't even care that they shared you!

Your guy’s dynamic is a bit twisted and hard to get a good understanding of.

Where Tooru makes it painfully aware to everyone that the two of you are dating, Wakatoshi is like a silent predator

He’s silent but deadly, and you’ve known him for far longer. That means he knows what you really like.

It's simple, he let’s tooru take you on extravagant dates and all that meaningless stuff.

But Ushiwaka is always there waiting at home to cuddle and watch a ton of movies with, he even lets you climb on him and cuddle him like a big teddy bear

Nsfw

This is one of the pairs that I think you're fucked in

It’s a silent competition of who can wreck you worse

Unlike some other Oikawa pairs, I truly believe that Oikawa would top

But Wakatoshi is also a top, a big man who has big needs

This ends up with you most likely with a two cocks one hole situation

If not that, it's the classic split roasts or Eiffel tower!

Oh to have Ushiwaka reaming you with Tooru in your mouth, yeah it's not as peaceful and soft as it sounds

But it’s still worth it

It starts softly! Then they go harder to try and beat the other! Then they really just treat you like a fleshlight.

Thankfully Tooru knows good aftercare techniques

But you still can’t walk for a while

“You can cum for me, show Toshi why you like better, go ahead”

“You stretch so good for me, even after Tooru’s turn, you're always so tight”

“Look at her little clit, did Ushiwaka not pay enough attention to it? That’s ok! Tooru’s gonna make it all better for you!”

Hanamaki Takahiro & Matsukawa Issei

sfw

Let's be real here, you met them at a spencers or a sex shop in a mall.

But it was a cute meetup!

After that, you guys just seemed to keep bumping into each other and became close friends

The initial relationship was started by Makki, he was the more open of the two so it made sense

And it’s been smooth sailing from then on

The amount of inside jokes you guys have is almost ridiculous, everywhere you go in the city you have a joke

You guys spend almost every waking moment with one another

One of their favorite things is to take you shopping, so you can do a little fashion show for them with anything you want to try on!

As in them make you try on revealing outfits for them

Dates normally would include random dinners at restaurants them a movie night/ sleepover

Like you guys would just stay up an fool around for hours on hours

They literally have no problems sharing and are always making sure you're perfectly ok with everything they do.

Nsfw

As expected you guys are very adventurous

Daddy Matsun got you and Makki covered

Well that's when Makki isn't trying to ream you into the couch

They both like toys, like a lot, a lot

Punishment is where the toys really shine, but you can't really call the toy punishment, punishment because you feel really good during it.

And it the most repeated thing you guys do

Mattsun’s the punishment dealer, so he’ll give you the biggest dildo that you guys have, no lube, he’ll tie your arms up and make you try to get down on it

BUT if he’s feeling a bit more punishing, he’ll set up a vibrator and set it to your little clit and turn it ALLLL the way up

But if that isn't enough, he will either let Makki in your ass, or the fuck machine will come out

They really love watching you try to get off, it does two things

1- it gives them new ideas

2- it shows how much you need them, and their cocks in your little aching holes

This lead to them having you wear plugs in public, which moved to wearing a vibrator

Sometimes, they make you wear a mask, but under the mask

(come here)

(closer)

They make you wear a ball gag under your mask

Good babies do what their daddies tell them too <3

“Look ‘Kawa, her hole is so tight she can barely fit both of us, just relax baby. They’ll get in, we’ll make sure of it”

“Makki, spread her legs wider, don't let her his from this”

“Don't make me gag you brat, you’re lucky Makki is in good mood, huh?”

Suna Rintaro & Osamu Miya

The way you got together was like love at first sight

For both of them too

You met Osamu first, you were seated next to him at an Italian cooking class

You guys had joked around and he was so impressed by your cooking that he got your number!

(he won't tell you but he had already sent pictures of you to Suna, and he was doing it allllllllll night)

He immediately invited you to Onigiri Miya, where you met Mr. Rintarou

Who was already practically in-love with you just from pictures.

You were clearly drawn to them, they were so cool!

They made a big scene of asking you out too

They both took you to one of the best restaurants in the city and had a private balcony dinner

After dessert they took both of your hands and asked you, in sync nonetheless, you do wonder how long it took for them to figure out how to do that

Clearly, you said yes, and that was the first of the many great memories you have with the two!

Since they both have pretty busy schedules they can't always come to you, so you go to them!

Even if they assured you that you didn't have to work, that never stops you from taking up shifts and Onigiri Miya on Monday and Fridays, (sometimes on Wednesdays if Osmau relents)

Even when you do work, you make time to make and bring Suna lunch every time he has all day practice

(you make them both lunch every day, but they can get it themselves, they are grown men, and you serve no one)

Traditional dates are less common, you guys mostly just like to hang out with each other

Like 3 am cooking challenges and asking to get ice cream from the shop down the road

You guys also, when you can, just spend hours cuddling in your bed or on the couch just in each other's arms

(can you tell i’m uwu-ing)

Nsfw

For having a busy schedule you guys sure do have time to fuck

A common theme is having Samu fuck you when Suna watches

God, watching you fall apart around his best friends dick will never get old, so so pretty when you're all fucked out and begging for him too

Sometimes hell have you suck him off, but he isn't unstable he can wait his turn~

Osamu works just as hard as he does, he has to let oust some stress and, you're just so good at making them feel better

Remember the cuddling?

Yes, that's a guise to cockwarm you, let them relax you always feel so good and today was s stressful

I can tell you saw this coming but, Suna likes to put whipped cream all over you, it gives him an excuse to eat you out for hours and Osamu and excuse to have you naked and able to eat as much whipped cream as he wants

Do they like double penn.?

Yes, very much so ma’am.

Just know that you are stuffed at any available moment they can manage

*cough* whipped *cough*

“look she’s grinding into like a circus whore huh ‘Samu? go harder”

“look into the camera baby, tell them all the things you’d love for them to do to you”

Iwaizumi & Kyoutani

This was an interesting one for sure

A senpais pretty girlfriend thing too

Iwaizumi knew Mad Dog had a crush on you before he did, and he did everything in his power to deny the accusation

The entire team could see how the second year was calm and behaved when you were around, so taking the high road

Iwaizumi came a with a plan: bring you and Kyotani as close as possible

All with consent firm you and knowing he was ok with anything that would happen

Suddenly inviting him to hang out with the two of you

Then it was letting him have you in his lap while you watch movies

And that progressed into letting him cuddle you after bad days, never without Iwa of course

Everyone on the team could tell the effects that it was having on him, he was calmer and easier to get along with.

He even started listening to Oikawa when he spoke, it was like a miracle.

And k\Kyotani finally got enough courage to tell you!

(you had pretty much known, but wanted him to say it himself)

Thus began what I would call that “Kyotani learns how to love” saga

Dates were first, they both took you to a small field of flowers to have a picnic and when it got dark out you guys set up a sheet and watched a movie!

For the both of them being temperamental, they got along really well

(mostly because Kyotani hangs off nay words you or Iwaizumi say)

You also make the both of them lunch and some afternoon snacks for practice!

(and if anyone who sees you guys, they’ll never mention how odd the two angry boys look next to their sweet little princess)

Nsfw

Sir Iwaizumi holds the torch

He’s the main dominant force, though Kyotani tries oh he does

Yeah, hate to say it but you bottom for them, every time.

A big thing is when he lets Kyo get you alone (while he watches)

Yeah maybe he lets kyo take over every once in a while, he’ll let him have you

Iwaizumi love having you under him, putting you in the mating press while Kyo watches from a chair a vibrator tied to him, just watching until Iwa finishes and leys Kyo try and breed you

You guys have also dedicated hours to getting you stretch enough to take both of them in one hole, but if not that then one hole for each of them will do

As you could imagine, they both love marking you up

You always come out of sex looking beat up

Most of the bruises are on your neck and inner thighs, but the bites on your nipples and the curve of your ass beg to differ

Now the real question is when Kyo is being bad!

Feathery kisses all over him, that's not where he wants your mouth, lower go lower

Don’t leave him!

He always learns his lessons after hours of waiting Iwa breed you

You being bad?

No cumming for a week, they can play with you but unless you want the time to get longer you don’t even think about orgasming.

“Calm down Kentaro, it’s too early to break her, we just got started.”

“Yeah i let Hajime have you but you still belong to me too, don’t forget that”

Kita Shinsuke & Aran Ojiro

This was the perfect girl next door story!

Middle school aran was so thankful to have you calm him down after yet another Miya twins episode

So as the two of you grew up it was natural that you became friends with his friends!

Namely his bestfriends- Kita!

Who was practically at your feet the second you met

From first to third year, they both grew to REALLY like you

They were both ready to spend the rest of their lives with you and were prepared to share if you wanted that.

The day you guys all got together was when they lost to Karasuno at nationals

You guys went back you the hotel room and just sat, cooing how well they did and how great they were no matter the outcome

It wasn't out of the normal for them to be all over you, both of them got a hand, but Aran was nestled into your lap and Kita was snuggled into your chest

Nothing was planned either, at that moment they knew that it was their chance!

The look on their faces when you said that you felt the same!

From then on you were treated even more like a queen

Every Monday before school one of them gets you a bouquet of flowers for the week and the other comes up with a date idea!

You're involved in the dates cycle and that now have a pile of stuffed animals that you got them from things like festivals or the mall

Since your relationship started with a cuddle, it's a favorite between you guys

A movie and some take out. Making fun of the Miya twins, and when Kita won’t admit it, you guys watch a rom-com, where you and Aran laugh at Kita's confused face when he doesn't understand the joke

Even with all of that, the real favorite between you guys is staying after practice and just having fun while cleaning up.

They just wuvvv uuuuuuuuu <3

Nsfw

Even if Kita is the commanding voice, Aran id the driving force

Kita likes when you two put on a show for him

Not that it's hard, even if Aran wasn't half as good as he was, your faces could satisfy him until his dying days.

Speaking of shows, Kita is a dictator, which means punishments

One of his favorites is having you finger fuck yourself in front of him and Aran until you can't move

Another is tying you up at having you watch the both of them jerk off to seeing you try and get off by grinding on the sheets (which does not work)

Aran, whether he admits it or not, he took a page out of Suna’s book

His entire hidden photo album is of you either being fucked by him or sucking Kita off

He also has an entire recorded version do you guys fucking that he and Kita watch when you aren't home

When Kita does have you to himself he takes on the Dom/Sub kinda thing

Aka borderline pet play

You sit and listen to him and what he says like a good pet, and you get a reward!

He dresses you up in little white dresses and he has you kneel in front of him and cockwarm him while he works

When Aran has you alone he takes the chance toooooo

….

…

Breed you!

Like a good little girl!

You take his cum so so well, don't you!

Yes yes, you do!

“Don’t let her walk all over you Aran, breed her like a good cow” (i had to, I really did)

“You look so pretty stretched around my cock, you're a good breeding whore, right? Yes, you are!”

Oikawa Tooru & Tobio Kageyama

This was a classic “in love with my senpais pretty girlfriend” kinda thing

Kags didn't mean to

He had known you from middle school and had a huge crush on you, but he knew that was as far as it would go

But when you came up to him after the game with seijoh and told him that he would have better luck next time

It was the hug that got him and in true Kageyama fashion he just couldn't help the words that fell from his mouth

“Thank you, you're still really pretty, and I've always loved you!”

Silence………………………………….

He couldn't even apologize because Oikawa was already on you yelling at him about never letting you near Kageyama again.

Yeah you had calmed both of them down, telling Tooru that he was overreacting and Kageyama was harmless to your relationship

After a few days of silence, you had invited Kageyama to have a “talk” with you and Oikawa

It was really just talking about feelings and ultimately Oikawa admitting that he was willing to give it a try, but you were his first and foremost and that won’t change

But you were quick to realize that they were actually really good together

The rivalry between the two always kept you on your toes and fueled both of their superiority complexes

Dates were always happening all the time, anther constant competition for you to like one of them better than the other

It's mostly movies and take out but its a date nonetheless

One thing they love to do is try to teach you how to play, all the time they try to get you to hit their sets

Even if you're awful at it, they appreciate you trying to learn more about their greatest passion.

You also try to go to as many of their practices as you can manage, they really love having you there to cheer them on!

Nsfw

Ok so at first Kageyama had absolutely no idea what to do, so some exploring was mandatory

Finding out he was a switch was a happy surprise!

That leads to things going two ways!

You could have Tooru taking his throne in the bedroom and he commands his two peasants to do exactly what he wants them too

This can include just regular soft sex with your little tobio gazing and longing for him, while tooru watches

Tooru will have the two of you grinding, Tobio with a cock ring and you a strict order to no cum until told.

Or maybe he’ll have the two of you ride dildos, tied up and making a pretty show for him

Or you could have Tobio dictating both of you

This is mostly having you ride him while Toru watches, but he can't touch

It also might be Tooru eating you out and kags in your mouth, fucking your face. <3

Whenever either of the boys wins something you take all the time in the world and worship him as he deserves!

“Aw! Tobio I know you can go faster than that! Oh ho ho, ~ y/n I know you aren't about to cum! I didn't give you the go-ahead! Hold on, baby!”

“Tooru you look so weak. You haven't even touched her and you're ready to cum.”

“You look so pretty under me, Tobio~ let me and Tooru take care of you!”

1K notes · View notes

clairdelunelove · 3 years

Text

AOT Valentine’s Day Headcanons

eren jaeger x reader, jean kirschstein x reader, armin arlert x reader, levi ackerman x reader, erwin smith x reader, porco galliard x reader, genderneutral!reader

genre: insane amounts of fluff, comfort

warnings: slight cursing, insane amounts of fluff

synopsis: small scenarios of what some aot boys would do for you during valentine’s day.

a.n: enjoy the lovely day with some of these cuties! remember to take care of yourselves and know you’re all loved <3

eren jaeger

this man would definitely try to cook a nice dinner for you

especially if you’re having a hard week

expect him to be researching the best recipe a couple days beforehand

“what are you doing, eren?”

he’ll glance up and nonchalantly mutter, “nothing, babe” while scrolling through fancy recipes

on valentine’s day it’s his time to shine

waits for you to leave the house and go to work before leaving to pick up the necessary ingredients

gets in a verbal argument with a store clerk if he doesn’t find the exact name of what he’s searching for

“are you deaf? I said I needed a bag of shrimp”

“and we have that, sir. you said you needed a bag of prawns right?”

“it’s shrimp! how many goddamn times do I need to repeat myself?”

gets home with bags full of groceries and gets to work

slowly chops all the vegetables and curses when he nicks his finger with the edge of the knife

puts too much oil in the frying pan and tosses everything in there

scrolls through his phone while waiting

spends fifteen minutes ogling at his screensaver

of course it’s a pic of you

ends up burning everything he made

orders takeout, plates it real nice, and attempts to brush off that it was his cooking once you’re home

“this is so good, babe!” you exclaim while lifting the fork to your mouth, “tastes like the order we usually get at that one French restaurant.”

“glad you like it, baby”

cue his nervous sweating

jean kirschstein

simp energy!

makes previous reservations to take a painting class with you

tells you to dress warm before the two of you head out

so! happy!

has the goofiest smile on the actual date

tucks your hand in his pocket while walking to the art studio

spends the whole time checking over at your easel

audibly approves of everything you do, even if you’re drawing a line

“wow, it looks great sweetheart”

scrunches up his brows while concentrating

listens to the art instructor say to paint something that they love

takes it quite literally

paints you

tries to get each pretty feature about you

swipes his hand over his cheek and gets paint on it

literally sweats out of pure focus and won’t want to leave until he’s done

“jean, babe, we gotta go”

“five more minutes please. almost done”

five min turns into five hours

jean’s painting of you is surprisingly amazing and he’s even lowkey impressed

has a random stranger take a pic of you and him together while holding up the paintings

treats you to an expensive restaurant afterwards and pays

full stomachs = happy couple

pulls you close while walking through the downtown streets

whispers cheeky pickup lines into your ear and presses a kiss against your head

best. day. ever.

connie springer

did you say it was valentine’s day?

shit

definitely forgets about the whole holiday but is quick enough to put something together for you

you both aren’t super invested in sappy holidays but connie tries each time

the morning of, he’ll run to the nearest shops and try to pick out a bouquet of flowers for you

everything’s sold out

will curse his luck and literally sprint out of there

kicks himself for not planning in advance as he’s walking up the driveway of your house

notices the neighbor’s beautiful flowers

idea!

he will dash through each neighbor’s yard and pick their flowers so a mismatched bouquet rests in his hand

“happy valentine’s day, my favorite goofball!”

“thanks, babe,” your wide eyes stare at the uncoordinated bouquet in your hands, “I love it”

cue the mud that falls to the floorboards

you scold connie about the dirt that’s still stuck on the roots since it dirties the floors

he’ll take you out to watch a comedy show too!

whole evening of laughter while his arm is wrapped around your shoulder

you were both glowing in happiness (along with having a sore stomach) afterwards

wraps his sweater around you since the evening was getting chilly

drives you home and gives you the sweetest kiss

he’ll pull away with a, “wow” while being completely dazed out

let’s you take his jacket home and texts you corny jokes the whole night

Maro Bott

desperately! wants you to be his valentine

almost cries tears of joy when you accept his confession which only makes you confused

“Marco, sweetie, we’ve been dating for two years”

“doesn’t matter, love”

shows up extra early with a bouquet of roses

“happy valentine’s day!”

expect him to walk inside the house and look through all your cabinets for a vase

helps you pick out an outfit because he has the “perfect date” planned

causes you to be wrapped in bundles of clothing

won’t tell you where he’s taking you once the two of you are in the car

“an,” you tilt your head and albeit a bit puzzled, “ice rink?”

“time for some ice skating!”

laces up your skates before he even does his own so he makes sure it’s secure

will ask multiple times if your feet are comfortable

once he has his skates on, it’s game over

can’t walk without holding onto your hand for a couple moments

“this is harder than I thought,” he confesses with a nervous grin

gets on the ice and falls

hard

the thump causes everyone to look at the two of you and he only responds with, “oh look (Y/n)! I’ve fallen for you! Get it?”

undoubtedly makes you giggle and onlookers awe

gets the hang of ice skating and teaches you how if you’re scared of falling

makes excuses to pull you close and sweetly kiss your cheek

“it’s part of the learning process”

the day was as sweet as Marco is

Armin Arlert

bookstore date!

will definitely plan in advance because he wants everything to be perfect

expect a good morning text that’s a whole paragraph long <3

still asks you, “can I be your valentine?” even if you are both dating

plan on wearing matching outfits for the day

light academia style of white turtlenecks, beige pants, and cardigans

will take a selfie with you and set it as his lock screen so he can awe at it every second

“you’re breathtaking”

intertwines your fingers with his when you’re holding hands

swings it while walking

lots of attention once the two of you step inside the bookstore

constant whispering about the matching outfits and innocent affection

he’ll lead you to the back of the store and spend the entire day there

sits on the floor, leaning against the wooden bookcase, and stroking your hair while you’re laying on his lap

silence = peace

piles of books around you both

“how’s the plot, love?”

will ask that when his head is resting on your thigh and inwardly loves how comfy you are

buys all the books you want and waves away your credit card when you try to pay

“consider it repayment for spending the day with me”

holds the tote bag of books the whole time despite it being heavy

stops by the cafe to buy cups of hot chocolate

notices a small amount of whipped cream on the corner of your mouth

chuckles and stops to literally lean down to press his lips against yours in order to wipe it off

whispers, “you’re so lovely, angel”

both of you will pull away with flushed faces and lovesick smiles

Levi Ackerman

“what’s this for, brat?”

frowns once he opens his front door and you’re standing there with a wide grin

“happy valentine’s day, dear! I wanted to watch a movie then-”

“yeah, yeah”

lets you in anyways

takes the large basket full of movies, snacks, and skincare out of your hands

sets it on the kitchen counter and you immediately pop a bag of popcorn into the microwave

your movements are quick as you’re scurrying around the kitchen retrieving bowls, plates, and napkins

levi watches you from the couch, inwardly pleased that you’re able to memorize the layout of his house since you’ve been over so many times

he’d never tell a soul though

movies with levi!

he won’t pay attention to the movie at all but still comments film mistakes

“he wasn’t even wearing that sweater in the previous scene”

“levi, honey, who even pays attention to that”

“people with eyes”

allows you to cuddle close to him but his fingers itch to bring you even closer

audibly groans when you move away to fetch something

“self care time!” you exclaim while holding up a pack of face masks

will not let you put one on him once he sees how silly they look

“please?”

“no,” he states, “they look fucking ridiculous”

does it anyways once your puppy dog eyes are on display

curses as you slick his hair back and put one on him

hates it and voices his opinion

but at the end of the day, he agrees with the saying, ‘happy wife, happy life’

and oh yes, you were going to be his wife one day

Erwin Smith

imagine sleeping in and waking up to breakfast in bed

pancakes, waffles, bagels, raspberry streusel muffins

and everything’s like

in the shape of a heart <3

turns on some classical, romance music

sweet candles that smell like vanilla = burning

that’s what this man would do

wakes up super early

determined to whip everything up pronto

folded all the laundry, cleaned the dishes, vacuumed the house

amazing

10/10 gentleman

“good morning, love”

edges the bedroom door open with his shoulder while holding a tray of delicious food

definitely still in casual wear clothes

a sweater and grey joggers that he wore to sleep

loves the smile on your face

says “happy valentine’s day” and presses a kiss on the back of your hand

sits on the edge of the bed while you eat

chuckles when you feed him

lets you though

brushes your hair back each time you take a bite to eat

amusingly shakes his head whenever you over-exaggerate a hum in delight

pleased smirks!

definitely tried to swipe whip cream over your cheek just to hear you giggle

it’s beautiful

watches the way the sunlight pours through the window and creates a glow on your face

serenity, calmness, and adoration

discreetly pinches himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming

wouldn’t want this day to end

Porco Galliard

“you doin’ anything today or what?”

will be the first text you get from him in the early morning

after a second passes, the little dots show up to indicate he’s typing again

“nvm. lemme take you out today”

shows up to your place unannounced and immediately notices what you’re wearing

“you’re wearing that? like for real?”

“is there something wrong with it?”

notices the panic in your eyes and immediately stutters

“nah, just,” he’ll bring his hand up to swipe at his noise while avoiding your gaze, “think you’ll be cold but you can wear my jacket or whatever.”

leads you to his muscle car and opens up the passenger door for you

surprisingly chivalrous for the day

drives throughout town to pick up stuff like a blanket, picnic basket, pre-made food, drinks

pays for it, of course, because he claims he’s the better man like that

“only scummy men let their partners pay”

spends the whole day driving around, hand on your thigh, while blasting your fav songs”

rolls the windows down so other drivers look your way

will also flip off anyone that suggestively gazes at you

loves when you belt out the lyrics and eagerly want him to join your singing session

rolls his eyes, “me? singing? gross.”

will sing 100% but only if you don’t call his bluff

pulls to the side of the road and sets up a romantic picnic spot nestled in an open field

drapes his jacket over your smaller physique and only mutters, “wear it before you catch a cold”

spends the evening star gazing, letting you rest your head on his chest while his hands are folded behind his neck

carries you back to the car once you’re asleep, snaps on your seatbelt, presses a kiss on your forehead, and mumbles, “thanks for lettin’ me take you out today, idiot.”

#eren x reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger headcanons #jean kirschstein #jean x reader #jean kirschtein headcanons #armin aot #armin arlert #armin x reader #levi ackerman #erwin smith #porco headcanons #porco galliard #connie springer #connie x reader

270 notes · View notes

cheri-translates · 4 years

Text

Lighthouse (A translated one-shot)

I translated this masterpiece originally written by 白飞飞是我宝贝 on Weibo (with permission)

It’s rare to find a piece of writing that is so immersive and makes the deepest parts of your soul ache. I knew it’d be a tragedy if it isn’t accessible to anyone who doesn’t read Chinese T^T

I’ll be keeping the original writer updated on comments left on this work because she’s the one who deserves all the credit 💕

[1]

Morning sunlight filters in through the curtains and fall on my eyelids, leaving a reddish shadow. I frown slightly, struggling to open my eyes.

Before me are grey curtains and white walls. The familiar yet foreign decor leave me unable to react. I turn over.

My head feels like it's filled with water, and the pain sobers me up a little.

I look at the grey-blue quilt, the grey-blue pillows, and the clean outershirt and T-shirt in the closet...

I shoot up from the bed, ignoring my severe headache. After a quick glance around my surroundings, I finally look down at myself - I’m still in the same outfit as yesterday. Other than it being slightly wrinkled from sleep, not a single button is loose.

Even so... why am I in Gavin’s house?

I get up with some effort, pressing a hand to my head while the other is against the wall, supporting me as I walk out of the room. On the table sits a glass of soy milk, a glass of fresh milk, steam buns, but no Gavin.

Sitting at the dining table, I stare dazedly at the warm milk in front of me.

Maybe my body isn’t fully conscious yet, or maybe yesterday’s hangover has left me a little numb. Today, I don’t feel the irritability and gloom that has been torturing me for almost half a month.

Half a month ago, I broke up with Gavin. I initiated it. To my utmost surprise, he didn't refuse. He simply hesitated for a while, and said “okay” in a hoarse voice.

I take a sip of the milk, suddenly recalling the way a coquettish smile had hung on my lips when I was still with him.

“Gavin, I want to drink the milk you’re holding. Is that okay?”

“It’s not that I dislike soy milk. I like both, so I want to drink it too.”

“But I can’t finish two cups by myself, and I simply enjoy... snatching. Food. From. The. Wolf.”

The tips of Gavin’s ears turn red. With one hand, he grabs me off his body and wraps my entire self into a hug.

Since then, we would always have a cup of soy milk and a cup of milk for breakfast, with both cups placed in front of me.

He would always wait for me to finish my meal before helping himself to the “leftovers”. I would blush and watch as his thin lips casually stick to the cup where my traces still remain. An inexplicable sweetness would fill me, occupying the entire atrium of my heart.

The sudden memories are overwhelming. The knuckles gripping the cup have gone white. After taking a deep breath, I feel the first sting in my heart. I resign myself to my fate, forcing my eyes shut, and let the delayed pain and torment swallow me up whole.

[2]

The phone rings, and I pick it up without checking who the caller is.

"This is Gavin."

In my trance, his classic greeting makes me think we are still together.

“Are you awake? If... you are, there’s breakfast on the table.”

"Why am I in your house?"

My voice sounds strangely hoarse and terrible, like a broken bellow.

"You drank too much yesterday. Minor called me. Your doors and windows were shut, ahem, so...”

"Oh,” my voice is a little dry. “I see, thank you.”

We’re already adults, and even used to be lovers who were attached at the hip. Simply spending a night at his house doesn't warrant me to cause a scene.

What’s more, he is Gavin - the Gavin who has never made things difficult for others.

After finishing breakfast hastily, I tidy the table. I pretend not to see the matching teacups on cabinet. My eyes tremble slightly when they sweep past by the photos we took together.

Before leaving, I walk to the shelf behind the door to retrieve the key out of sheer habit. When my finger touches the ginkgo leaf pendant, I shirk backwards.

When I spot the two pairs of cotton slippers - one large and one small - in the shoe cabinet, I feel my heartstring finally snap, and I collapse against the wall.

The memories in these details are truly terrifying. Donning a harmless appearance, they slowly tear down the defences I had constructed with great difficulty.

These two pairs of cotton slippers were purchased during our early days as a couple. I still remember that it was the first time I saw a sick Gavin. He was leaning against the wall of the hallway - just as I am doing now - his soft bangs covering his tired eyes.

Trying a new menu in the kitchen, I suddenly feel a searing chest pressed against my back. His chin rests lazily in the crook of my neck, and the warm breath exhaled from his nose reddens my cheeks.

"Gavin? Why are you back so early today?" I try to ignore my rapid heartbeat, and my speed of cutting the vegetables slows down significantly.

He rubs his head against my shoulder and responds in a muffled voice:

“Dizzy.”

Only then do I notice his abnormally high body temperature. After hastily washing my hands and wiping my apron twice, I place my hand on his forehead.

He lowers his head obediently and lifts up his bangs, revealing delicate eyebrows. The amber eyes underneath are unnaturally moist, and remind me of a deer in a forest - pure and gentle.

“What happened? Why are you burning up so badly?”

I frown and pull him out of the kitchen, then press him onto the bed without giving him a chance to refuse.

When I was sick as a child, my dad would always tuck me in tightly. Although it was very hot, I would feel much better after sweating it out. So I also tuck the white quilt around Gavin’s neck. He is very cooperative, but his bright eyes remain wide open and he stares at me without blinking.

"What are you looking at? Close your eyes and go to sleep!" I pretend to be angry. However, upon seeing the abnormal flush on his face and the obvious tiredness between his eyebrows, my heart softens. "Well, you should have a good rest if you’re sick. I'll cook some porridge for you. Take your medicine after eating it, okay?"

My tone sounds as though I’m pacifying a child. After hearing this, a bright smile appears in his eyes. After a long time, he responds lazily with an “okay”.

But his actions are not as obedient as his words. While I’m busy cooking porridge, he walks out of the bedroom again and hugs me from behind without saying a word, like a huge koala.

Clearly, a sick Gavin and a normal Gavin are two completely different people. For the first time, I realise that this man, who is unafraid of dying in a shower of bullets, can actually be coquettish to such a degree.

I shake his hand away angrily, but he responds by lifting me up and striding over to the sofa.

"Gavin! What are you doing!" I instinctively want to pound on his shoulder, but when I think about how he’s still sick, I stop myself. The only thing I can do is raise my voice to sound agitated.

He places me on the sofa, then leans against me lazily, his strong arms wrapping around my waist, breathing in the scent of my hair.

"Can you keep me company?" The cold has made his voice deeper, as if a handful of sand has been sprinkled into his voice. "I feel terrible.”

With these few words, the anger that was about to flare vanishes. My heart softens and feels numb, as though there are ants crawling through it.

“...okay, I'll stay with you."

He falls asleep on my shoulder in under five minutes. He must have been really tired. I lay him down carefully on the sofa and pull a blanket over him.

At this moment, Gavin, who is more than 1.8 meters tall, is curled up on the sofa looking aggrieved and haggard. The blanket isn’t large enough to cover his feet, and I realise that he has been walking around barefoot.

Although the weather has begun to warm up during this time of year, it’s easy to fall sick between spring and summer. He once dragged me home because I didn’t wear a jacket. But when it comes to himself, he isn’t as meticulous.

Treading quietly, I leave the house to buy food items from the supermarket downstairs. I also stop by the living area to pick out two pairs of slippers - one big and one small, one blue and one pink, with a wolf and a bunny printed on them.

They feel soft and warm, and are very comfortable.

When I reach home, I’m wrapped in a familiar embrace as soon as I open the door. I hear a voice filled with grievances from above my head.

“Where did you go? Why didn't you tell me?"

I break free from his embrace. Lowering my head, I see that he’s still barefoot.

"I went out to get groceries. I’ll make you porridge with preserved eggs and lean meat tonight."

I kneel down, retrieve the newly bought slippers from the bag. Without looking up, I command:

“Lift your feet.”

Gavin puts them on obediently. I stand up and look at him. “How are they? Do they fit?”

His ears are ridiculously red. He blinks gently.

“Are these for me?”

"Yes, my Mr Wolf."

I reply casually, carrying the ingredients into the kitchen.

Gavin finally settles down peacefully, sitting on the sofa obediently and waiting for my food. Most of the porridge that day ends up in his stomach. After taking the anti-fever medicine, he encases me in his arms and turns the lights off early.

His breathing is especially clear in the dark, and is tainted with scorching heat, ironing the back of my neck in a regular pattern. I can’t bear the numbness and move slightly, but the man behind me holds me even more tightly. I can’t fathom where this sick person derives his strength from. I can't break away at all.

"Thank you for today," I hear him say suddenly, with a slightly hoarse voice that sounds particularly sultry in the quiet night. "I liked the preserved egg and lean meat porridge you made, I liked the slippers you gave me, and... ahem, anyway, thank you."

I chuckle, rolling over in his arms. I raise my head to meet his crystal-clear eyes in the dim night.

"No need to thank me, Mr Gavin. Because I like you the most."

[3]

When I awake from the memory, I hear the rattle of a key coming from outside the door. Feeling flustered, I have no idea where to put my hands and feet. In the next second, I meet the bright amber eyes from my memory once again.

Holding a bag of vegetables in his hand, he stands quietly at the door, looking at me silently. When his eyes trail to the high heels on my feet, his brows furrow slightly.

I bite my lip and break the awkward silence. "Thank you for yesterday. I won’t bother you further. Goodbye.”

I give him a nod. Before I can step outside, he blocks the way.

Lifting my head, I look at him with a puzzled expression. His neck muscles are tense, and his lips are pressed into a line. The morning light falls on his handsome side profile, softening his sharp features.

"Your complexion looks bad. Rest for a while, and don't force yourself.”

Perhaps I have yet to sober up completely, because I find myself agreeing awkwardly. I change my shoes again and sit down on the sofa. Taking a deep breath, I try to ignore the faint pain from my temples.

Gavin pours me a cup of hot water. I hold it in my palm and say mindlessly, "I didn't expect that I would be a guest here one day."

Gavin pauses, and he says nothing.

After retrieving two tomatoes and a piece of tofu from the bag, he walks into the kitchen, which is pretty much a decorative piece to him.

I arch my eyebrows in surprise. When I hear the stove turning on, I walk over with curiosity.

Gavin has his back towards me, surrounded by sliced tomatoes and tofu, and a bowl of beaten eggs. At a glance, there are no eggshells in it. He flips through a booklet and follows the steps in it meticulously.

I probably guessed what he wanted to do. When he finally stretches out his hand to take the sugar, I stop him in the nick of time. "Gavin, that’s white sugar. The salt is over there.

His stiffens, the tips of his ears turning redder than the tomatoes in the pot.

Once the soup is prepared, he ladles it into a bowl and brings it to me.

"Drink a bowl. It’d help you sober up.” His voice is a little soft and obviously lacking in confidence. "I tried it just now... ahem, it's not bad...”

I smile and take the egg drop soup from his hand. Stirring the soup with a spoon causes bright red tomatoes to bob around. The aroma of green onions instantly dispels the smell of alcohol stuffing my nose.

I take a sip. It really doesn’t taste bad.

But I can’t understand why such a delicious soup makes me feel as though I’m drinking something bitter.

I stand at the door of the kitchen, taking slow sips. When I can almost see the bottom of the bowl, I force myself to laugh.

"Is this the former police officer who only knew takeaway food and instant noodles? This cooking is a great leap forward."

The brightness in his eyes dims for a moment, and he responds with a hint of self-mockery. "I’m used to your cooking, so I can no longer eat takeaway food or instant noodles. The only thing I can do now is learn to make it myself.”

I’m left stunned, not expecting that he would say this. He turns back to the kitchen to wash the pots and bowls. I watch his tall figure in a daze, and am suddenly swept up into a whirlpool of memories.

While heading to the supermarket, I turn my head to Gavin and ask him a question.

“Gavin, what do you like to eat?”

He responds with a faint smile. “Anything. As long as you make it, I will love it.”

I know Gavin always puts me first, and that I would get nowhere if I continued down this line of questioning. I simply change my approach.

“What do you usually eat then?”

After thinking about it carefully, he says, “STF doesn’t have a canteen. I usually eat at a restaurant outside, or have instant noodles. I'm not a picky eater, so it’s fine as long as I can fill my stomach.”

I know that he works hard, but I’m still a little angry at his living habits.

“Without me around, would you be eating instant noodles your entire life?”

When he sees me suddenly frowning, his tone gets slightly flustered.

“I...”

“Hmph, in order to punish you, I’ve decided that..." I reach out angrily and pick out a Chinese cabbage from the freezer. "You have to clear the entire plate tonight, and my boxed lunches in future! Eat well, sleep well, and take care of yourself. Do you understand!”

There is a smile in his amber eyes, and the corners of his mouth rise a little. In the end, he rubs my hair with some helplessness, and obediently says, "okay.”

Bang.

The sound of the cabinet door closing shut pulls me back to reality. When I meet his eyes, I hurriedly conceal my dazed expression.

“Thank you. I just remembered that I still have things to do at the company, so I’ll make a move.”

I walk towards the entrance, slightly embarrassed.

When I hear him call my name, I stop.

"Can we talk?”

I stand frozen in place, all the blood draining away the warmth from my heart. It isn’t until I’m surrounded by a broad embrace that I can eventually hear my heart beating again.

Gavin always liked hugging me from behind the most, hanging his head by the side of my ears, his soft sideburns on my face. I would hear his unhurried, gentle breathing.

Just like right now. My back leans against his hard chest, his body temperature wrapping me in a thin cloak. The arms on my waist are strong, and there’s a new scar on it.

The familiar heartache sweeps across me again, unbridled. Before I can react, I hear a breath near my ears.

"If Minor didn’t call me, would I have had no chance to see you again?"

[4]

I ruminated over why Gavin and I broke up. It always came back to a cliche term - unsuitable.

I’m the boss of a small company, living a standard 9 to 5 life. Although I sometimes work overtime, my life has a fairly regular pattern.

Gavin is a special officer who has no fixed working hours. He runs off whenever there’s danger, and we often lose contact. The longest time we’ve been apart was for nearly a month, and the only communication we had spanned only ten minutes. Most of the time, I was asking, “Is there a signal? Can you hear me?”

But I never felt that our professional life was an obstacle in our love. On the contrary, it was precisely because of our intersecting schedules that I cherished the time with him even more.

It's just...

When I learned that he had a vacation on the 520 during our early days together as a couple, I excitedly made a travel plan for an overnight stay at the beach.

There was a filming site of a movie that I particularly liked. I lay in his arms enthusiastically and described the reeds, the lighthouse, and the ocean where the first light of day could be seen. Gavin had smiled and listened to me, then dropped a kiss on my forehead.

But when the time came, I went there alone.

He had received an urgent task suddenly. After hesitating for a while, he wanted to call and decline. However, I held his phone and shook my head at him. "It's okay, go.”

Then, it was the first Qixi Festival we celebrated together. Gavin had specially adjusted his schedule to keep me company. That day, we walked through the ancient streets lined with lanterns while holding hands. We released a small paper boat by the river together. We also watched a sweet and romantic movie. He watched me smile, our fingers clasped together, warm and powerful.

But when I got up in the morning the very next day, I saw Gavin seated on the sofa with his head down. I whispered his name, and he raised his head to look at me. His eyes were moist and red, and his usually clear voice was hoarse.

"The teammate who swapped shifts with me yesterday met with an accident during the mission... if it weren’t for me, he would have been fine now...”

I held his hand distressedly and comforted him. It wasn’t his fault. But when I saw the pain in his eyes, I knew that he would shoulder everything himself, and that he would carry on with this self-blame and guilt.

After that, Gavin became more frequently tasked with missions, and became more frequently injured. In addition to distress, I also felt helpless.

Then came the Spring Festival. He had accompanied me to my aunt’s house. He wasn’t very good with talking, and his body had unconcealed wounds. My aunt’s expression gradually morphed from enthusiasm to politeness.

My aunt dragged me to the kitchen and asked me solemnly, in a low voice.

"What does he do? Special police? You know this kind of work is dangerous! Should you marry him in the future, what if... and I’m saying ‘what if’... what if something goes wrong? What would you do?”

I tightened my cuffs, took a deep breath, and said, "Aunt, no matter how dangerous his work is, or how dissatisfied you are with him, he is the person I’ve decided on, and I love him very much.”

My aunt frowned and looked at me. She sighed slowly. "Silly child, you’ll understand later on that the most important thing in marriage is not love, but suitability. Love is just one condiment in life, and life is a big dish. It needs the right dishes to match, supplemented by condiments, in order to have an excellent and delicious presentation."

“I’m not trying to nag at you. I just want you to think this through carefully. I know that Gavin is a good boy, and I can see how much he cares for you. But I can also see that you don’t look as happy as before. I just hope you young ones can live happily.”

After returning home that day, my aunt’s words continued echoing in my ears. I didn’t want to accept my somewhat shaky reality.

In countless nights without Gavin, I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling in a daze. What flashed before my eyes were Gavin’s scars. He never took the initiative to tell me about his injuries, and never mentioned the danger of his missions.

His solemn and stern eyes told me that every “I’m fine” from his lips had no credibility.

With time after time of heartaches and disappointments, I seemed to suddenly understand what my aunt said.

When he flips through the medicine cabinet in the living room again in the middle of the night, I walk out of the bedroom and turn the lights on with a “click”.

At first, he’s surprised. Then, he starts panicking as he tries to hide the scar on his left shoulder. Without a word, I take out the hard iodine and gauze from the medicine box, carefully remove the his bloodstained clothes, and gently clean up the wound little by little.

This time, the wound isn’t deep, but there is a lot of bleeding. I squat down in front of him, the hand holding the tweezers trembling slightly. In contrast, my words are calm.

"Gavin. Do you know that if I were your teammate, I definitely wouldn't want to see you in this sorry state? It’s only when you take care of yourself that you can protect even more people.”

I throw the napkin away and wrap the gauze around his arm. His muscles are smooth and tight. Even though I’ve seen it so many times, it still gives me heart palpitations.

"In the future, you have to protect yourself well, understand? Don't let the people who love you feel scared all day. This kind of torture is even more unbearable than physical injuries.”

I tie a neat knot, then sit beside him, hugging him gently. His amber eyes flicker, and within them are waves of pain and struggle.

"Gavin.”

I lean my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and memorising the warmth of his body.

"Let’s break up.”

[5]

I break free from Gavin’s embrace and leave his house in a hurry after leaving him with a sentence:

“Don't follow me.”

I run in a hurry, because I know that if I hesitate for a second longer, I will fall into his arms completely and become unable to extricate myself.

It's ridiculous.

Even though I keep reminding myself that we have already broken up, I still love his warmth.

The drinks were really worthless. If it weren't for this hangover, I wouldn’t have been so embarrassed, and I wouldn’t have been so easily defeated by mere memories and a hug.

I take a taxi and return home.

The moment I close the door, I finally remove all my forbearances. I throw myself onto the sofa and raise an arm to cover my eyes. Tears trickle down the corners of my eyes, silent and endless.

[6]

I must have been crazy to agree to Minor’s invitation to attend the high school reunion. When I see the tall figure walking into the banquet hall, my instinctive reaction is to flee.

But standing next to me is an old friend. He’s chatting about the past enthusiastically, and I have no choice but to remain still and nod along in agreement.

Gavin’s appearance is akin to throwing a boulder on calm water, and the ripples caused by the waves spread through the entire banquet hall, including my heart.

Although he should have already spotted me, he doesn't talk to me. Instead, he sits two spaces away. His expression is cold and fierce, as though he has come to participate in a serious operation.

No one dared to approach him in high school, and this has remained true even now. To outsiders, he is a lone wolf - indifferent and arrogant, causing everyone to retreat from him.

I used to see him in the same light, but everything that occurred later overthrew these myopic impressions. I discovered the softness and delicateness hiding under his hard shell.

“Hey, what's the matter with you? Why are you distracted all the time?"

My old friend waves his hand in front of me, and I apologise with a bit of embarrassment.

After saying a few more words, he suddenly asks, "Do you have a boyfriend now?"

Hearing this, I choke on my red wine. In the corner, Gavin seems to be frowning at me, his amber eyes bright and scorching, making me subconsciously want to escape.

I avert my eyes and shake my head. "No."

He becomes a little more interested then, changing the topic from high school to the present.

"Let me tell you - I’m working at LFG now and have bought a car and paid the down payment for a house. Also, my parents don’t live with me, so if you’re...”

"Are you done?” A cold voice interrupts him. My heart trembles and I raise my head, only to see Gavin's cold glare.

At this moment, nearly half of the eyes in the hall are focused on our conversation. Looking like he doesn’t care about anything, Gavin grabs my arm and pulls me out of the room. I can’t escape from his grasp, and feel frustrated by his inexplicable behaviour.

He takes me to a small balcony outside the hall, then imprisons me between the wall and his chest. He looks down at me, brows furrowed deeply. There’s an unconcealed anger in his eyes.

"What are you doing?” I question, unwilling to look at him directly.

The reply I get is a kiss that plunders everything.

His lips press against mine roughly, and his unique scent overwhelms me. There is a collision and friction between our lips and teeth, and there is pain.

It’s an uncontrolled plunder and invasion.

He doesn’t let me go until my last breath is violently swept away. I pant heavily, but he embraces me in the next second.

This time, his embrace is gentle.

It’s careful, as if he’s protecting a fragile glass flower. His heavy breath brushes my neck, mingling with his low and trembling voice.

"I'm sorry."

[7]

I don’t deny that I lived a terrible life in the half month after separating from him.

I worked overtime every day, letting work fill all the gaps in my life. I didn’t give myself a chance to relax at all, because it only takes a second for pain and regret to gnaw away at me.

Minor has been secretly reporting my life to Gavin. I knew that. But I never thought of stopping him, and a ridiculous expectation even started brimming in my heart.

I wondered if there would be a night, when the lights of the city begin to fade, when he would appear in front of me as he used to. He would wrinkle his beautiful eyebrows and gently bring me into his arms. With a slight touch of reproach, he would ask resignedly, “Why are you working overtime again?”

I also wondered if he would push the office door open anxiously when I’m stricken with another stomach ailment, picking me up sideways without a word. The expression on his face back then was full of anger, but the stream of light in his eyes magnified his distress and tenderness infinitely.

I also wondered, when I have finished my work for the day and am leaning against the wall of the elevator and staring at the changing floors, whether I’d see him as soon as I open the door.

If he did show up, I would put everything down and leap into his arms, and tell him over and over again that I love him.

But in the half month since our break up, he never appeared once.

This city is so large that even if two people were once intimate, they may miss each other for a lifetime if they don’t stay in touch.

So I started to waver again. Why did I live even more unhappily after listening to what my aunt said?

Why is it that once the seasoning of love is no longer part of this big dish of life, the entire thing tastes like wax?

I don't understand - would I be happier finding someone I’m suitable with but do not love, or consume each other’s love and embrace the friction?

Deep down, I know that if I could abandon everything and make a choice, I would choose the latter without hesitation.

At least, my life as of now tells me very clearly that the decision I made was wrong.

And this mistake has tortured the both of us beyond recognition.

[8]

My back is extremely tense and feels like a fully stretched bow.

The hands around my waist move slightly, and Gavin’s voice falls on my ears, drawing intense pain from my heart.

With every breath, I can only smell the scent of his body and the sweet aroma of red wine from just now.

Over his shoulders, I see the bright, brilliant, erosive, and prosperous city. Trapped inside are people all sentenced to life.

I know that I’m one of them.

Without warning, tears trickle from the corners of my eyes, leaving streaks of cold water on my face.

In my increasingly fuzzy and hot vision, I see Gavin’s somewhat flustered expression. He gently wipes away my tears with his rough finger pads.

Those eyes, full of anxiety, become the only lighthouse within reach.

It seems that as long as I look at him, I will never lose my way.

After a few small sobs, I rush into his arms without a care. I pull at the corners of his clothes and cry until his white T-shirt becomes damp.

He comforts me clumsily, his hands caressing my hair in exchange for the string of muffled "sorry"s flowing from my mouth.

[9]

I called my aunt.

"Aunt, is suitability really that important in life?"

"Silly child, suitability is very important. But more importantly, are you happy?"

“What if I’m with someone who I’m not suitable with, but I feel happy?”

"Then he might be the most suitable person for you.”

[10]

I stand at the door of the STF office, holding a boxed lunch and looking outside.

An officer who recognises me greets me with a smile. "Is sister-in-law giving Gavin food again? Just go in and wait. The team is already on their way back.

I smile and nod. “It doesn't matter. Waiting over here is the same thing.”

Another colleague pats him on the shoulder, as if laughing at his stupidity. "What would you know, you single loner? Sister-in-law wants to see Gavin sooner!"

I blush, and suddenly see a familiar profile coming in through the door.

The faint light of dusk outlines his wide shoulders and narrow waist, depicting his side profile clearly. Seeing me, the solemnity and coldness on his face melts into a pool of spring water.

"What are you doing here? Didn't I say you should wait for me at home?"

He walks up to me and takes what’s in my hand, his tone brisk and clear.

I crinkle my eyes and smile, saying, "I’m off work early today, and came over since I have nothing to do.”

We walk all the way to his office. Opening the boxed lunch, he sees that it contains his favourite dishes.

Gavin takes a whiff in a slightly exaggerated manner, then smiles. "Mm, smells good.”

I quickly hand him the chopsticks. He picks up a piece of beef and brings it into his mouth. After swallowing it, he lowers his eyes and smiles. "I get to eat the food you cook after my mission. I suddenly don't feel tired at all.”

I feel a twinge in my heart. I huff nonchalantly and respond. "If you like it, I’ll prepare and bring you boxed lunches in the future.”

"No need." He reaches out and tousles my hair. "Be good and wait for me at home. Just knowing that you’re at home makes me feel very contented.”

After work, we walk home together hand in hand. The setting sun filters through the uneven skyline of the city, elongating our shadows.

The summer evening breeze carries the scent of camphor trees across my face, and the temperature of the day finally reveals a tired and lazy side. Dim light reaches the world through the clouds drifting in the sky, bringing a certain tenderness to this steely city.

"Gavin?" I turn my head to look at the man wearing a smile on his mouth, and happen to meet his clear eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"Your birthday is coming soon. Are there any gifts you want?”

"Anyth-"

“You’re not allowed to say ‘anything’!" I interrupt him with a glare, giving his palm a forceful squeeze.

He smiles compromisingly, and his eyes seem to be filled with scattered gold.

"Then teach me how to cook a meal. I hope one day in the future, you can return home from work and eat a meal I’ve prepared.”

I’m momentarily startled, and suddenly remember what my aunt said -

"Then he might be the most suitable person for you.”

I have thought about this question of suitability many, many times. Just like the “unity of opposites” in philosophy, I simply can’t make sense of it. But no one has ever told me that this question doesn’t require thinking. The answer has always been in my heart, and the clues to finding the answer have been scattered throughout my life.

Even the most trivial things in life carries memories belonging only to us. And these small and plain memories will gather into a surging tide when you least expect it, washing away the dust covering the answer in one’s heart.

Perhaps there has never been such a thing as “unsuitable” to begin with. This so-called “unsuitable” is just used by people looking for an excuse to part ways.

A breeze blows past, and ripples appear on the lake in my heart. When I look at him again, I suddenly feel light and happy both physically and mentally, and that nothing could come between the both of us.

With a big smile, I say, "Okay! I’ll leave the birthday party to you then, Mr Gavin.”

He chuckles softly, his bangs a little messy from the evening breeze. "I will learn properly, and won’t disappoint you.”

The sunset finally sinks behind the tall buildings. Neon lights and vehicle headlights begin to flicker, and the dim yellow streetlights on the side of the road replace the sunset, continuing to illuminate the long road.

I know that he will hold my hand as we walk, step by step, slowly and steadily, along this path home.

#mlqc #mlqc gavin

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randomfandomnerd · 3 years

Text

Sunshine and Shadows-Chapter 3

When everything had settled down with all the patients, Will sat next to Nico’s bed, keeping a close eye on him. Thankfully ,the son of Hades was now significantly more solid than he had been a few hours ago, however his sleep was restless and every now and again, he would flinch or mumble something incomprehensible. Will had heard Annabeth talking about nightmares brought on by Gaia and the giants or, before that, the titans. Of course this only ever happened to the major demigods who were sent on quests, like Clarisse, Percy and Piper, or members of the Hypnos cabin, like Clovis. Will had never really had nightmares, but then again, it wasn’t often that he got a lot of sleep. Whenever he tried to sleep, he’d end up lying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d think about all the demigods that had died in the two wars. Lee and Michael. And Leo, who had barely arrived at camp before he was sent away to go save the world. Sometimes Will thought about how he felt so helpless that he wasn’t able to heal everyone. If he’d been given a gift that could make him good at fighting, he could have prevented more deaths. People were always saying that healers were essential during battle, but there was no good healing someone if they were dead. Then there was Octavian. Yes, he may have been a 1st-class schmuck, but Will couldn’t help himself for feeling sorry for him. In a camp of highly skilled warriors, he’d had to fake his way to the top. Being as insecure as he was, he’d done everything he could to grab onto any power that drifted his way. Insecurity was no excuse for what he did, but Will kept remembering the moments leading up to Octavian’s death. How he’d called Michael Kahale a good friend until the end.

How not even the person he had seemed closest to had warned him. That look Nico had given him, as if Will was ridiculous for wanting Octavian to live. Of course, it all was ridiculous, and Will was just being the weak and sympathetic healer he was, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that death was never a good punishment for anyone.

At the sound of approaching humming, Will snapped his head round to look at the clock. 11:20. The end of his shift. Will took one last look at Nico, before standing up and heading over to the door, carrying a folder to give to Austin, who was washing his hands.

“What’s that?”

Austin asked, tilting his head towards the folder.

“Your sheet music. Perhaps consider that the infirmary is not the place for these”

Austin guiltily looked down at the new sheet music tucked under his arm that he’d just brought in.

“Sorry Will, I like to keep it on me at all times incase a tune comes into my head that I want to try out later”

Will shook his head and left the folder with Austin, before leaving the infirmary, closing the door gently behind him.

Almost immediately, he was ambushed by a very excited Mitchell. Startled, he let out a tiny squeak that made the son of Aphrodite cackle. Mitchell was very happy with his new head counselor, and had been celebrating by wearing all of his favourite outfits that Drew had called ugly or attention-seeking, without giving a damn about the occasion. Chiron, thoroughly baffled by the apparent unending depths of Mitchell’s wardrobe, had allowed him to.

Currently, he was wearing black skinny jeans, an oversized t-shirt depicting a scene from Howl’s Moving Castle, Doc Martens (bright blue platform heeled ones. Will had no idea how he was able to bounce around in them so much) and copious amounts of black eyeliner. A small hoop with a little golden star dangled from his left earlobe. After waiting for Will to calm down again, he flung his arm round the taller boy and practically dragged him towards the Hephaestus Cabin, chatting away.

“You have no idea how excited I’ve been for this. Apparently he finished it ages ago, but needed to prepare how he was going to show us.”

“He” was Jake Mason, the 3rd part of their unlikely trio of friends, who had been working on a top-secret project in his spare time away from making weapons. The son of Hephaestus took revealing his creations very seriously, and there was always some sort of grand ceremony involved. Will and Jake had always been pretty good friends, and they’d had each other's backs after they’d become head counselors during the Titan War. Mitchell had joined them more recently, after volunteering to help Jake with his recovery after being in a full body cast (his mortal mother was a yoga instructor and he knew a lot about useful stretches and exercises). After physiotherapy sessions, the 3 boys always hung around to chat, and they’d found that they had a lot in common.

Mitchell skipped up to the door of Cabin 9, and enthusiastically knocked on it. It swung open to reveal a very smug-looking Harley, who was holding a tray with 2 glasses on it. Offering them to the 2 older boys, he gestured for them to head up the stairs. Amused, Will took a glass and, upon drinking it, found the contents to be apple juice. At the top of the stairs, Jake was waiting outside their usual room they used to meet up. Jake was wearing jeans, an orange camp t-shirt and the sturdy boots preferred by the Hephaestus kids (protecting them from any heavy equipment they might drop). However this rather ordinary outfit was finished off by a top hat that he’d gotten from gods knew where. Jake had always enjoyed dramatics. When he was at school, he enjoyed creating sets for plays and musicals. Jake stepped aside to usher them both into the room.

Once they were inside, Will took a look around. Their usual chairs had been moved to one side of the room to make way for what appeared to be a large set of theatre curtains. Knowing Jake, it was entirely possible that he’d spent more time on making the presentation than on making the actual product.

When he was satisfied that Mitchell and Will were seated, Jake cleared his throat.

“So, as you know, I have been working on an incredibly top-secret project and I have now decided to give you the grandiose reveal”

Mitchell smirked and muttered in Will’s ear

“Let’s hope that the display doesn’t fall on top of him this time”

Will snorted, remembering the large white sheet that had covered Jake like a little kid being a ghost at halloween when he’d shown them the grandfather clock he'd made that was an exact replica of the one from “Whisper of the Heart”.Jake frowned at them

“That was only one time”,

he grumbled. He quickly dashed over to a console in the wall, flipped a switch, and a spotlight focused on the centre of the curtains, as they began to pull apart, revealing…

“Jake Mason! You didn’t actually do it! I thought that was a joke!”

Will exclaimed. Beside him, Mitchell was looking between them, confused. Jake grinned.

“Yes William, you know I would never joke about something so serious. This is indeed a scale model of an X-Wing fighter, with a cockpit that is the perfect size to hold a cat. And yes, I do fully plan on somehow getting this home to Lola”

Lola was Jake’s mother’s grumpy tabby cat and Jake was the only person she really allowed to pick her up. Jake insisted that this was because she loved him, but Will suspected that it was because he always snuck her extra treats. Jake had many photos of her carefully arranged around his bunk and although she was grumpy, she was very adorable.

Not many people were aware of it, but Will was a MASSIVE Star Wars fan. Back home in Texas, his bedroom at his grandparents’ house had posters all over the walls of his favourite characters, and it was always a treat when he got to watch The Empire Strikes Back (his favourite of all the movies) with his grandfather, who was just as invested as he was.

Will sat back and admired the precise workmanship of the model. Jake had gotten every single detail in, from the shape of the windows, to the markings on the side.

The 3 boys sat down and chatted and, for a while, they were able to forget the horrors and pressures of being demigods, and were able to laugh and talk like 3 ordinary teenagers.

Taglist: @rainbow-sheepofthefamily

@emava04

@percabethfangirl

@nightmareghosts

@luna0713hunter

@seven-halfbloods

#will solace #heroes of olympus #rick riordan #trials of apollo #percy jackson #riordanverse #percy jackson and the olympians #nico di angelo #solangelo #jake mason (percy jackson)#Mitchell (percy jackson)

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lokidrabbles · 4 years

Text

Keep On Believing (Loki x Reader)

Reader and Loki share a piece of their past with each other. A/N: I’ve had this stuck on my head for a while and I feel happy finally putting it down somewhere. Thank you all for the surge of followers and feedback on my stories! I’ve been using them to keep me focused on something enjoyable for me :) As always, Gender Neutral Reader! Warnings: None! Fluff n’ such!

In the oddest of spectacles, Loki was seated in your living room, leg crossed over the other, sorting through a pile of photos you had insisted he take a look at. For what he figured was another way for humans to bond, he begrudgingly agreed and was now flipping through a variety of Polaroids he best referred to as ‘photographic illusions.’ Within these, a peek at your childhood and youth caught his interest, curious to learn exactly where you had come from. He observed through the many photos which included birthdays, holiday dinners, vacations, beach days and many more.

With two cups of warm tea, you soon came back into the living room, plopping a seat next to him on the couch. You placed both cups on your small coffee table, leaning over to catch at what Loki was peering at.

“Just so you know, those things in my teeth were there so they could straighten out.” You explained as he squinted at a photo of you, sometime in your elementary and braces years.

“Ah. I didn’t realize human dentures came out misaligned.” He said, flipping through a couple more.

“Only sometimes. What do you think though? Interesting to see how different I ended up looking.”

“From my introspection, I’d want to say that you were quite the attention seeking child. See, here.” He said, showing you a small photo of you with a long forgotten childhood cousin. “From the way your hand is laid on this other child’s chest, I’m suspecting you were shoving them aside to be the main subject matter.”

You snorted. “Very impressive. I was super egoistic when I was younger, but I’m glad that trait didn’t last long.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He sneered as you playfully shoved his shoulder. He continued to sort through and came upon another photo which piqued his interest.

“You mind elaborating as to why you are dressed like...a squash?”

“Pumpkin. Also because it was Halloween. I guess you can say that’s out bastardization of some Pagan traditions.”

“It doesn’t appear like you were having a good time here.” He said, pulling the photo closer to his face.

“Oh no. I hated that costume but my mother was insistent about taking a picture.”

Loki chuckled to himself. “This sour face is quite familiar however. I think you still have a tendency to pout like that when I am intentionally ignoring you.”

You furrowed your brows. “Intentionally?”

“Oops. Did I say that?”

Loki braced for another playful jab at his side once he saw that pout forming once more. You continued to ramble on about your distinct hate for this Halloween costume as Loki flipped through a couple of more brief snapshots of your childhood. This was a new experience for him, albeit a tad strange. The use of photographic illusions wasn’t present back in Asgard, and for the aesir, there really wasn’t much need to have a tangible piece of time like this. Although his memory doesn’t remember every single detail of his younger years, it was still much more vivid than any human’s, and that was impressive to say for someone who was over one thousand years old.

He couldn’t deny your eagerness with all of it however. He observed how excited you had become to share your history with him, and how each small piece of glistening paper had brought back a memory that had been long forgotten. A part of him envied your fondness of your own past, especially with anything having to do with your family. Indeed this was the most bizarre part for him. Aside from his childhood and unconditionally loving mother, things didn’t exactly pan out that well for him. Of course he still struggled with obtaining the full responsibility of his own actions, but this was a part of his history he wished to be entirely blacked out. He certainly wouldn’t show you these parts any time soon, as selfish as it was.

He focused back on your own past, looking over the young human who couldn’t have possibly fathomed the idea of building a connection with a man like him. You were cute as a child and he briefly imagined his own young self meeting you. He wondered if you both would have gotten along as well as you both did now. Maybe, in a different space and age.

“Would it be stupid of me to ask if Asgardians keep family photos as well?” You asked, poking him out of his trance.

“Only if that includes large frescoes of the royal family over heading the royal palace.” “That’s a bummer. I’ve always been curious to see little Loki.”

“Do you want to? It wouldn’t take much honestly.” He responded casually.

“Wait, what?” You asked, bewilderment in your face. “What do you mean?”

“You know I’m a sorcerer, correct? The art of casting illusions, specific ones at that, come almost second nature to me.”

Your eyes widened at the possibility. “Are you telling me you could cast down, like a memory or something like that?”

“Err, I suppose. I can concoct something specific, but of course it wouldn’t be the exact memory.”

“Yes!” You exclaimed, inching at the edge of your seat. “I mean, if it’s cool with you?”

“You’re too excited about this.” He said, eyeing you from top to bottom. “But it will be fine. Close your eyes however, the effect will be more potent like that.”

An inescapable grin cast between your cheeks as you shut your eyes intensely. Loki stood up, tugging at your arm to rise with him, and then beginning to conjure his seidr between his fingers. The green glow rose from his palm and began to cover the entirely of your living room like a thick coat of paint. As it dripped down, your plain walls soon became marbled and golden, mimicking the royal halls back in Asgard. Loki focused on a target memory, involving one of the many times he would often study his magic in the high gardens of Asgard. He purposefully chose a moment when it was just himself, still wanting to avoid exposing you to a painful part of his past. But for now, he figured you’d be more than satisfied with a snapshot of his youth.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Your eyes popped open immediately, darting back and forth, from side to side. Your mouth fell agape at the scenery in front of you. Your living room, with all its tacky decor, was now long gone, and soon replaced with a scene out of a fairy tale. It was a large indoor garden, garnished with a myriad of flowers, hanging vines, large overlooking leaves and a large fountain smack in the middle, flowing with gentle streams of water. At a small garden bench in front of the fountain, sat a small dark haired boy, legs crossed, flipping through a large archaic book. His hair was sleeked back and he wore a dark green robe rimmed with a golden hem. His gaze fell upon his readings, and you certainly could not mistake those inhuman green eyes.

Loki raised an eyebrow at your uncomfortable silence until he patted the top of your head. “You can breathe you know.”

“Loki, is that really you?” You responded incredulously.

“Obviously. This was a little hideout spot from Thor when he wouldn’t allow me to concentrate on my studies.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Again, it’s only from the details I’ve been able to draw back on. Knowing how my mother tended these gardens, I’m sure I am missing much more here.”

“It’s still incredible.” You said while gently forward into the illusion. “Oh, Loki. You were so adorable as a kid!”

"I’ll gladly take that compliment.” He said with a smirk. He felt satisfied with how in awe you appeared at his little scene. While it would never beat having the possibility of showing you the real Asgard, this was just as pleasing. There was still much more he wanted to share with you, the good parts. His inward self however urged him to be cautious with how much he showed you, affirming it would push you away from him one way or another. Despite it, his nature allowed him to dwell in the self-gratifying moment of having you mull over his illusion.

“What exactly are you reading?” You asked, referring to his book.

“Just deepening my understanding of conjuring objects through pocket dimensions. Stuff that would surely bore you to death.”

“You got that right. You think that kid would have wanted to join me during Halloween?” You asked with another toothy grin.

“Only if you agreed to wear that ridiculous pumpkin outfit.”

“Then that will be a big no. Still, it’s incredible to believe this was probably hundreds of years before I was born.”

He nodded. “Did I ever imagine in a thousand years that I’d be stuck in Midgard with a foolish human? Definitely not.”

“Way to ruin the moment.”

He slowly waved his hand over the illusion, causing it to dissipate out of existence. The green glow tore holes through the enchanting scenery, burning all over until it reached the young Loki last. For a brief moment, the young Asgardian peered upwards, his eyes now instantly connected onto yours. You cheekily waved good bye to the young boy until he illusion completely came undone, and your plain living room was back in sight.

“That was amazing!” You said while clapping your hands in a keenly manner. “Can you cast anything else? Oh, what about when-”

Loki shoved a finger onto your lips, instantly shushing you. “Don’t be greedy. I’m not opted to show this just to anyone. Besides, it does tire me when I use my seidr in such a way.”

You nodded slowly and understandingly. “Ah.”

He was quick to catch your eagerness in your bright eyes soon fall over. “I’ll be sure you more at some other time. You have my word.”

You nodded rapidly this time. “Yes sir.”

He let out a deep breath, relieved at how easily you became content. “Very, well. I assuming you want to show me more of these ‘photos’.” He motioned over to the pile on your couch, taking a seat once more

“Only if you want to.” You said, joining him on the couch as well. “I didn’t realize how many I had.”

“What do you want, (Y/N)?”

“Oh! Let me just show you my cringe teenage years. I’ll give you permission to make fun of my style back then.”

“See, now those are the things I would be more than eager to take a gander at.”

You took a chunk of the pile and began to sort through various photos, determined to find something from those adolescent years. Loki wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him as you began to point out a series of hair dyeing disasters. You looked ridiculous, but he continued to ground himself presently. Unbelievable, how you continued to be more than willing to share a part of your past with him (even the seemingly shameful moments). He began to process what type of scene or moment in time he’d capture in one of his illusions, making sure the next one would continue to encourage you to share yourself with him.

#loki #loki x you #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki imagine #loki imagines #loki pov #loki drabble #loki drabbles #loki laufeyson

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marauder-exe · 4 years

Text

Jacket- Sirius Black x Reader

Request: hey there! can i get one with prompts 79, 174 and 175, with Sirius, please? thank you!

Prompts: 79. No its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes”

174. “Did you see what she was wearing?”

175. “So what if I had sex with your ex?”

Word Count: 1.4k

You stared in the mirror at your outfit, it needed something. It was a Saturday morning, and it was a Hogsmeade weekend, so you wanted to look good. You either hung out with Lily or the boys during Hogsmede weekends, but that didn't mean you couldn't look nice. Lily always mentioned you subconsciously wanted to look nice for Sirius, but you never believed her, she was convinced you where head over heels for him, but you didn't think so. Sure you felt something for Sirius, but didn't everyone? He was Sirius Black.

You stared in the mirror, pondering what else you needed to complete the look. A jacket! You rushed to your trunk, rummaging around to find a cute jacket, but none of them really matched the vibe you where going for. Maybe a leather jacket would suit more? You rummaged around in Lily's trunk, sure she wouldn't mind, she was already down in the great hall anyway. Of course she didn't have one. Sirius does though. You gave a sly smile and rushed to the boys dorm They had always said you could use their dorm whenever, maybe that extends to clothes? You opened the door and looked around, nobody was in there, they where probably all at breakfast. Sirius’ jacket was slung on the back of the chair. You stared at it, it was black leather, with the words ‘rebellion’ and ‘S.B’ painted on with a Gryffindor crest on it. Everyone would be able to tell it was Sirius’. Ah well. You slowly slipped the jacket around your frame, basking in Sirius’ scent and the feel of it. Right, getting a bit creepy, (Y/N). You didn't like him, you couldn't. Shaking the thoughts away, you wondered down to breakfast.

You pushed open the great hall, some 5th years at the end of the table looked at you. You skipped down the long table passing the Marauders on the way.

“Hi, boys.” You giggled quickly walking past to sit near Lily and the girls. James nudged Sirius.

“Do you see what she's wearing mate?” Sirius looked towards you at his friends words, and felt the wind get knocked out of him. You where skipping down the table in his Leather jacket. And you looked absolutely breathtaking. Sirius felt like he was in a trance, until he heard his best mate shout towards you.

“Oi, (Y/L/N) looking absolutely astonishing in Padfoots jacket” He threw his head back in laughter as she gave a twirl.

“Thanks Potter” She cited, sitting down at the table with Lily, Marlene and Mary. You smiled as you sat down, getting into conversation, missing Marlene's glare.

During the boys conversations, where some very hushed questions directed towards Sirius, like if he knew why she was wearing his jacket, or if he was bothered? Both being answered with a ‘no’, the latter being joined with a faint blush on his cheeks. Their conversations where cut short though, when they heard the clatter of plates a little ways down the table. They all looked towards that direction, where You and Marlene where both stood, holding each others glare. They where honestly so confused about what had gone on during the few minutes they where talking. Then you came out with your next line, which shocked a lot of people.

“So what if I had sex with your ex?” You questioned loudly, cocking your eyebrows. The ex you where alluding to being Sirius. He and Marlene had a fling a few weeks ago, it obviously meant more to her than him, Sirius claimed she was just a distraction, but she liked him a lot. Sirius felt Remus jab his below into his ribs. Sirius mouthed an ‘Ow!’ obviously not wanting to disrupt the tense scene that was going on. Remus rolled his eyes and mouthed, ‘Did you sleep with her?’

Now it was Padfoots turn to roll his eyes, but he blushed nonetheless. ‘No of course not’

“Yeah he wishes” Peter whispered and Sirius scowled turning back tot he scene.

“It sure looks like it” She gestured to your outfit.

“Awe don't be sad, wittle Marley, just because he didn't want you” You laughed. You where usually very kind, but when someone got on your bad side, you could be a stone cold bitch. Its a surprise you weren't in Slytherin to be honest.

“And you can bet you ass he wants me now” You smirked, you knew he didn't like you like that, but it felt right to say.

“Not wrong on that one” Remus muttered laughing, causing Sirius to whack him lightly. They both turned just in time to see Marlene throw pumpkin juice all over you. You stood there, mildly shocked, but impressed she had the balls to do that. The entire Gryffindor table where slack jawed, as Remus and James where just smirking at the scene. Sirius was panicked as hell though. Did you know he liked you? You picked up a jar of Ketchup slyly, knowing Marlene couldn't see you, but Sirius caught it.

“Yaknow, Marlene, I wouldn't ever want to mess up that pretty fake blonde hair of yours” You laughed as you picked up the ketchup bottle, just as Sirius dashed toward you, grabbing you around the waist, hauling you in the air, just as you squirted the entire bottle of Ketchup at Marlene's face.

“You bitch!” The entire great hall burst out in a chorus of ‘oooh’s and laughter. You laughed as you struggled against Sirius grip as he dragged you out the hall. He dragged you all the way to the Gryffindor common room, you still struggling against him.

“Sirius! Why did you drag me out of there I was winning?” You laughed after he placed you on the couch but he was not laughing.

“(Y/N). You've just lost your friendship with Marlene, and potentially just sacrificed your friendship with Lily and Mary.” He lectured. Then it all came flooding in, the regret, the anger. “Why, in Godric Gryffindors name, did you do that?” He seemed really angered by your actions. You threw your head into your hands.

“You wouldn't get it Pads.” You whined.

“Oh yeah, what's so possibly bad that it warranted staining a girl, apparently fake blonde hair, news to me by the way, red with ketchup” You tried to hide your giggle at his comment, and kept your solemn face.

“You should've heard what she was saying about you Sirius, it was all ‘he’s this, he's that’ And then! She insinuated I slept with you, for my own personal gain, not because I liked you, not because Im in love with you, she thought I did it for bragging rights! Which is absolutely ridiculous by the way. Anyone who uses someone for bragging rights is absolutely disgusting, especially if they use you. So no, her insulting me wasn't enough to warrant ketchup hair, but insulting you was!” You breathed deeply, finally finishing your rant. You gaped at you.

“What?” you questioned upon seeing his incredulous face.

“You said you loved me” You where stunned. Did that accidentally slip out?

“What? I did not!” You insisted.

“Oh yes! You did!” Sirius smirked, moving closer to you.

“Did not! Did not!” You knew you where done for now, he began running after you as you dashed away from him laughing.

“Yes you did! Come here” He was running after you, all around the common room as you giggled your heart out. He finally caught you, pushing you onto the common room couch. You stared into each others eyes, it was like something out of a movie.

“Im sorry your jackets covered in pumpkin juice” You whispered, still holding your gaze.

“Its fine, I just cant believe your actually wearing my clothes”.

You giggled in response, muttering a silent apology.

“plus I like the taste of pumpkin juice” He smirked, slowly leaning in. Obviously you didn't get the memo, as your response was…

“Taste? What do you mean taste, do you eat your-” but your words where soon cut off by Sirius’ deep voice.

“Shut up and kiss me” He grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you in for a kiss. Your lips moulded together perfectly, and its all you could have ever wanted. You broke apart, breathing shallow and foreheads pressed against each others.

“I love you too, by the way” He breathed and chuckled.

“I gathered” You giggled.

“Be mine?”

“Wouldn't want it any other way” And you sealed the relationship with a kiss.

#sirius #sirius black #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black x reader #sirius black fanfic #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #marauders fanfiction #marauders #marauder era

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ink-and-flame · 4 years

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Kinktober Day 14 : Intensity Bared

Kinktober Day 14 Prompts: Exhibitionism (strangers) ~ High heel wearing(forced) ~ Lingerie (wearing) Fandom: Original (Auchendale Archives) Tags: exophilia, exhibitionism, high heels, lingerie, oral sex, rough sex Pairing: Orc(m)/Human(f), ?(M)/Human(f), Darnok/Lia, Lucien/Lia

[Author’s note: I skipped day 13 for personal reasons and had to struggle with tonight’s because my wrist pain was acting up, but I got through it. We get to experience a little more drama and some intense moments. I hope you all enjoy.]

The time spent with Lucien had been a unique and surprisingly pleasant experience for Lia. After the first night she was surprised that Lucien requested they continue doing scenes for the rest of the weekend. Lia had agreed and ended up enjoying herself more than she expected she would. There were a few things she simply would not do, as they were special for her and Darnok and it felt wrong to do them with anyone else. Lucien was understanding and had a few lines of his own that he requested not be crossed. Overall Lia found she was more compatible with Lucien as a dom than she had ever expected she would be.

The compatibility was enough of a surprise for Lia that she had to sit down and spend some time thinking about it logically. If someone else could give her what Darnok could give her, and possibly more, were her feelings for him as real as she thought? There was something to be said for time. She had known Darnok a while now, and they had grown close, despite him being practically a mystery to her.

Her mind kept going back to the conversation with Lucien. If he knew she loved Dar, then why hadn’t he said anything before this? Rationally there were plenty of valid answers for this question but Lia couldn’t help but mentally torment herself for a bit before snapping herself out of it with more logic. It honestly didn’t matter. She felt what she felt and at some point she would have to come clean. It wasn’t healthy to keep her feelings inside like this, but telling Darnok could lead to losing him. That thought bothered her.

There was also a concern about whatever orc clan meeting he attended. As usual he told her nothing, so of course her imagination ran wild with arranged messages, or him being forced to move far away and she would never see him again. Of course the rational part of her brain told her she was being ridiculous and that she could just ask him when they spoke again.

Time for that would come soon enough as Darnok had contacted her, wanting to see her and talk to her before the weekend. Lia agreed, but the day he chose meant she would have to wait until after work to head to the club, something she didn’t really like to do. She wanted time to relax, eat, and clean up, but that would cut into what little time they would have.

There was nothing for it and Lia found herself leaving for the club just a little later than she had intended. By the time she had gotten there the worry inside of her had increased to full on anxiety. She had convinced herself that he would only do this if something had happened and no amount of logic was working to convince her otherwise.

Heading into the club Lia saw Darnok in the lounge, he was already talking to Lucien. Dar did not look upset, but that didn’t mean much. Lia made her way over and sat down smiling at both men and giving each a little polite bow of her head.

“Sorry I am late, I was held up at work.”

“It is quite alright Lia. I knew that would be a possibility and I wont keep you long. I know you haven’t eaten dinner yet or had a chance to relax. I do apologize, schedules being what they are, this was the best I could do and I wanted to do this in person.”

Lia’s stomach dropped and she already felt nauseous. Despite the smile on Darnok’s face Lia thought the rug was about to be pulled out from under her. “Ok?”

Darnok reached up and stroked her cheek gently. “Lucien was telling me about how wonderful you were for him and I am so very proud of you.” He leaned in kissing her forehead. “You have been such a good sub and have impressed me at every turn.”

Lia felt like she was being buttered up like a turkey about to be shoved into an oven and the feeling wasn’t great. “I wasn’t acting or trying to impress or anything.”

“I know, that is what makes you so special Lia. Everything about you is genuine. I am so impressed with you. I couldn’t be happier to have you as my sub.” Darnok was beaming

Lia noticed that Lucien had the most neutral expression on his face that she had ever seen. He was blank, sheer blankness, so he was no help at all. Now she was just confused. Was she getting the boot or not?

“I wanted to talk to you about doing something special, but it will mean I have to cancel this week and move it to next. Would that work for you? I know that we had scheduled that weekend off and I couldn’t remember if it was because you had a prior engagement.”

“I did, but I don’t anymore. It was already canceled and I wasn’t sure that we could rework the schedule so I just left it alone.” Lia was still suspicious, but relaxing slowly.

“Wonderful. Then I will see you next weekend instead of this weekend.” Darnok took her hands into his. “I will be renting one of the larger spaces here and hosting an event. I want you there as my sub. I will have a special outfit for you to wear and during the evening, at some point, I would like to do a scene. There will be people in attendance you don’t know. Most of the people in attendance will be unknown to you, but this is quite important to me and it would mean everything to me if you could attend.”

Oh, so it was a public scene with strangers. That was what all this was about? She wondered if she got worked up over nothing, but then something tugged at her mind. He had never been this insistent when it came to a public scene. At least it was more a whoever sees, sees, and that was fine. This seemed to be built around it and they had only done a few of those. The way he worded it, something was telling her to push for more of an explanation. “We have done a public scene before, I don’t understand what makes this one different?”

“Ah, yes, well. That is where I worry you might not want to agree. This event will be almost entirely orcs and a few individuals I trust. Lucien will be there, of course, but he will most likely be the only person you know. I can understand how this would be daunting and I wont be mad if you decline.”

A room full of orcs? Now that was something Lia wanted to see. It made her even more curious about just what that meeting was all about. Still, this was important to him and if she was honest, she was curious. Maybe this would give her insight into his life, into parts of him she had yet to see. “Of course I will do it. We will need to discuss details and expectations before the event. I want to make sure I do everything right and know what is expected of me, but I am not afraid if that was what you were worried about.”

“A little, yes.” He admitted looking sheepish. “I know you are still new to public scenes and it has always been with smaller crowds, this will be my first hosted event at this club and there will be points where you will have to be on your own while I handle the event itself.”

Now Lia understood the crux of his worry. She would be spending part of this alone, similar to the gala. Considering how well she did there, she figured she could do it again. The difference was she was in a cage and no one could touch her. The only other time she had ever done something so public where Darnok was not at her side was when she was a serving tray at an event the club owners were running. She had been particularly proud of herself for that one and felt that she had more experience now than she had then. If she could do that, she could do this.

“I still agree. Just be clear with instructions and expectations. If someone does something I don’t like am I allowed to refuse them or move away?”

“Of course. I would never allow that. The basic rules will always apply. Your consent will be required and that is something understood by the guests.” Darnok pulled her into a hug. “I am so happy you agreed to this.”

Lia leaned into the hug with a smile, her worry almost completely vanished. She stayed chatting with both Darnok and Lucien until her stomach growled loudly and she announced it was time to go.

Arriving home, Lia made herself something quick to eat and sat on her couch lost in thought. She had worked herself up over nothing and caused herself undo anxiety. She knew she needed to work on that, but maybe she wasn’t the entire problem. Darnok’s insistence on secrecy, division, his refusal to tell her even basic information. It was causing trust issues for her. What if he was hiding something like an arranged marriage, or a relationship. That would be a valid reason for him to not let her know anything. The less she knew the less chance of him being caught. That just didn’t seem like something Darnok would do.

Lia did not sleep well that night, or the night after, however the weekend proved to help soothe her a bit as she spent it with Ember. They saw a movie, went shopping, and talked through the evening and well into the morning. It was something Lia needed. She finally confided all of her feelings, thoughts, and emotional turmoil to her friend, needing a shoulder and a kind ear. Ember was supportive and rational, trying to help ease Lia’s fears, but also while being pragmatic and making it clear that the current agreement she had with Darnok benefited him more than it did her and that her concerns and suspicions were valid. They may not be true, but her feelings and reasons for having them were still valid.

It was what Lia needed to hear and help lift some of the weight off her chest. Maybe it was time to start thinking about renegotiation. Though she did admit that after the island get away, her and Darnok had been closer than ever and that maybe the shift was already happening, just slowly. She was willing to wait, not wanting to rush anything and potentially ruin what little good was developing.

By the time the event moved closer, Lia had almost forgotten her worries and concerns as excitement filled her. Darnok had her come to the club to pick up her outfit for the event and try it on. Of course it fit perfectly though it didn’t cover much. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the heels, not really being a fan of them if she knew she had to do any amount of walking, but they were non negotiable. The rest of the outfit could be tweaked to a degree, but time was not on their side for any heavy alterations.

The night arrived and Lia followed the instructions she was given. She arrived at the club early, she was escorted to the employee area to change with the small handful of other subs that would be at the event. For a while Lia had worried she would be the only one there and wasn’t sure how well she could handle being the only sub. It was nice to not be alone and she dressed carefully.

She pulled on the corset. It was lace, showing her skin through the detailing. It was cut so that it cupped under her bust, but her breasts were mostly free, nipples on display. She had delicate nipple clamps with silver bells she needed to wear. The thigh high stockings had matching lace detail around the thighs, as did the heels she was wearing. She wore arm coverings of delicate lace that looped around her middle finger and fit snug around her bicep. Her collar was a simple silver band with a loop. There was nothing covering her most intimate of places. The corset only went down so far, the rest of her was fully on display.

A stylist helped her get her hair pulled up into a strategically messy updo. It looked far more elegant than messy, but had a sort of carelessness about it that Lia found charming. She didn’t understand how it took that long to make her hair look like she didn't actually work to have it styled.

When the time came to enter the event room the subs were lined up and walked out into the room. Lia was led over to Darnok as the other subs were led to their stations. She smiled at the way his eyes roamed over her body and wished for a moment they were alone. Those eyes held promises, ones she intended to make him keep.

As it was early in the evening, there wasn’t as much for Lia to do but stand with Darnok and look pretty. She didn’t speak unless directly addressed and glanced at Darnok several times to make sure it was ok before doing so. It did not take long for her to find her comfort zone and she was given breaks to lounge on one of the cushioned platforms like the other subs.

When there, people at the event could approach her, talk to her, touch her, only with her consent of course. She found that the bells on her nipples were quite popular and the various people she met seemed to enjoy trying to find different ways to make them ring. Lia found she liked it, the touches did not hurt and no one was being overtly disrespectful.

At one point Lucien stepped over to see how Lia was doing. She spoke with him for a bit, allowing him the most familiarity with her form. Knowing that she could trust him and he probably had spoken to Darnok to find out just how far he was allowed to go before even approaching her.

With his face between her legs and her hands gripping his horns, they made for quite a show. She heard Darnok’s deep voice from off to the side, his rumbling tone so familiar to her. It was the voice with him she did not recognize, but it was just as deep.

“She is exquisite is she not? I have never had a more perfect submissive in my life.”

“For a human, she is temptingly beautiful. I had always found them to be a little too frail for my liking, but this one, her beauty is enough to make me reconsider.” The unfamiliar voice trailed off.

Lia risked turning her head and saw an orc, just as large as Darnok, standing there next to her dominant. She was a little too distracted by her pleasure to pay as much attention, but she wondered who he was. She kept her head tilted towards them, but her eyes were closed now.

“I am surprised you allow that.”

Darnok chuckled. “Lucien is a friend and he has been with Lia before, with my blessing of course. He is one of the few I trust with her. He knows where the line is and will not cross it. I enjoy watching her pleasure. I rarely get to see her like this. Usually I am so focused on creating that pleasure, I never get to fully enjoy her reactions.”

“As you said, she is exquisite. I suppose everything makes a lot more sense now, seeing her. I couldn’t imagine what would make you risk it all, but now I think I understand.”

“There is no risk and that is not a conversation we should be having here.”

“I am just saying if I had a Taledras in my” The words were cut off suddenly.

Lia opened her eyes to see Darnok dragging the other orc away where she could no longer hear them. Darnok did not look happy, but Lia lost focus as she came hard, her thighs shaking as she arched up to Lucien’s face. Her grip on his horns tight. Her brain was trying to make sense of what she had heard but her orgasm clouded her ability to think straight. She collapsed back against the cushion panting as she smiled at Lucien. Her smile faded when she saw his expression briefly before he resituated it back to neutral. It seemed that something in that conversation was not meant for her ears, or for anyones.

She lounged on the cushion, not wanting to rouse suspicion by sitting up too fast or seeking Darnok. This was one of the reasons she came here, to learn, and she had clearly just learned something if Lucien’s face was anything to go by, or at least the face he had made briefly. The smart thing, would be to wait and not ask, to pretend she saw nothing and heard nothing. Which was what she did. There was a risk involved if it turned out to be something she didn’t want to know.

“Wow Lucien, you really know how to please a lady.” Lia said quietly with a smile.

“I do indeed, can you stand or do you need more rest?” Lucien smiled back gently as he kissed her thigh.

“I think I can stand. Am I allowed to clean up or no?”

“No, I am afraid Darnok was particular about that. He wanted to have you shortly after I finished.”

“Oh, well then maybe I should just relax here for a bit longer?” Lia did her best to pretend that everything was normal and it did seem to be working.

“That seems like an excellent plan. I will stay here until Darnok returns, I wouldn’t want anyone else getting any ideas.” Lucien stroked Lias face in a gentle, almost affectionate manner.

His gentle kindness and open affection worried Lia as much as his expression had. She was not going to show it though. She had to remain outwardly oblivious, but she already knew what she was going to do the moment she got home.

Lucien stepped away only long enough to bring her a drink. It was long enough for others to come over, to compliment her on her beauty, to ask if she was free for others. Lia declined and Lucien’s presences helped keep them at a respectful distance. She sipped at the water, and glanced around, hoping to spy Darnok. Wherever he had gone, she couldn’t see him.

It was only a few more minutes when Lia heard his voice not too far behind her and it was getting closer she turned to see him smiling at her, but something in his eyes gave her a slight pause.

“You looked so lovely with Lucien between your legs like that. The two of you make quite the attractive pair. I do hope I am not being replaced?” His voice was light but tense.

Was that jealousy that Lia detected? It couldn’t be. Darnok had never shown signs that he could even feel that. Yes he occasionally got possessive, but only when he lost control. Something about this excited her and it helped push her worry away. “I could never replace you, all Lucien did was help get me ready for you.”

Darnok moved onto the cushion and pulled Lia to him, Her back pressed against his chest as his hands roamed her body. “Well then, I would hate to waste such a thoughtful gift.” His tusks rubbed at her neck as his fingers slid between her legs.

Lia’s eyes closed as Darnok’s thick fingers teased over her clit and spread her already soaking folds. She could feel him hard, throbbing, almost desperate behind her as his cock slid between her thighs spreading both her cum and his precum all over her. She could feel the eyes on her, on them, and no longer cared. This was what she wanted and was excited to have it.

Darnok lifted her easily by her thighs, positioning himself at her entrance. Arching his hips and teasing her just a little before slowly letting her sink down onto the tip of him, pushing in ever so slowly. Inch by thick throbbing inch of his cock pressed into her, stretching her. Much to her absolute delight. He was taking his time and it felt incredible.

He was half way in before he pulled back and pushed in again, still going almost tortuously slow and Lia was close to begging for it harder and faster. She wanted more, but she was also enjoying the teasing. It would drag things out, make her pleasure last longer, her orgasm more intense. She opened her eyes and found that yes, many were watching them, including the orc from before. At this angle she could see him better and he had a hungry look in his eyes as he focused on her.

Lia’s eyes were not open long as Darnok filled her, thrusting up into her, hilting himself with a groan. His tusks scraped at her neck and ear as he began to thrust. His pace still slow, but not as slow as before. Lia could tell by the way his hands moved to grip her, to pull her closer, that he might lose control again. He was growling against her ear, a possessive noise she recognized when he wanted to rut her.

“So beautiful, so soft, so yielding. You are mine Lia. No matter who touches you, or how they please you, they can’t have all of you.” Darnok growled and nipped at her neck.

Her moans grew louder at his words, as the soothed the worried part of her. She hated how much she liked him like this. She wanted him jealous, wanted him possessive, because it meant she mattered to him, she was important to him, and that thought alone pushed her pleasure even higher.

Darnok’s thrusts increased in speed and intensity as Lia gave in. She could feel him stretching her, pushing her body to its limits, and she was able to handle it. All the times in the past that Darnok had gone too hard, or lost control had prepared her for this. Her body had been conditioned to handle him now, despite how big he was or how powerfully he took her.

Lia was in heaven with each thrust deep into her body. She opened her eyes, watching the people watching her. Their expressions driving her on as she lifted her arms to wrap around the back of Dar’s neck to help her brace herself as she moved with him, actively participating instead of just letting Darnok do all the work. All this did was encourage him and drive him to be rougher with her.

Soon Lia was pressed onto her front, Darnok’s large hand around her neck, his other between her legs as teased her clit while rutting hard into her. She could barely keep her eyes open but she needed to see. She wanted to see the reactions to her being taken like this. Darnok had never gotten this rough with her in public, never like this. He had pushed the line, pushed her limits, but he always held back just enough.

Her cries wer loud, filling the room as the sounds of their bestial fucking filled the space. Other couples had joined in, fucking in other parts of the room, where they could still see the show. Lia saw that the orc from before was watching her with an intensity that would have frightened her any other time.

Soon she came with a scream, her body bowing as she spasmed around Darnok. Her core clenched around him hard as she felt him swell and let loose his seed deep inside of her with a loud roar. Other roars joined in from different parts of the room as many of the orcs there had also reached climax.

Lia was panting and shaking, thankful for the soft cushion beneath her. Darnok had not marked her this time, but that was probably for the best. She could feel as well as hear his heavy breathing as he pulled her up against his chest, nuzzling at her. She felt tired and was happy when he began to stroke her skin and soothe her with his voice.

Darnok’s aftercare was always so gentle. No matter how rough their scenes got, it was his tenderness afterward that Lia loved most. He pulled out slowly, carefully, and had someone bring over some supplies so he could clean her. He gave her water to sip as Lucien brought over a blanket.

There were still scenes going on around the room. People who had not climaxed, or who were engaged in more intricate scenes. Lia glanced around with a smile. She hoped that the event went as well as it appeared. She only wanted Darnok happy. As she curled against him feeling warm and safe, a small thought plagued her.

Who, or what, was a Taledras.

#exophilia #orc boyfriend #Orc x Human #intensify series #Auchendale Archives #Kinktober 2020

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unmaskedagain · 5 years

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Sorry (Not Sorry) Queen Mari AU Continuation

Okay, here’s the Latest in the Queen of Mean AU. I received an ask for Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato. And I just thought the song worked really well with my overall theme. However i’m severely running out of ideas for this so decide to try my hand at asks for drabbles. I put in three superhero quotes in this fic. Send me ask with the answers to what hero or supervillian said the quote and i’ll do my utter best to get the drabble out at soon as possible. Also in this fic, i’m assuming Marc wasn’t in the same class.

youtube

When the new team Miraculous showed up to confront the Akuma, the entirety of Paris stopped. This was not the standard tag-team duo of Ladybug and Chat Noir. It wasn’t even the fearless five that Ladybug, Chat Noir, Queen Bee, Rena Rouge and Carapace that showed up when the world really needed them.

No this was something else entirely.

Chat Noir never saw it coming. Or rather, the old Chat Noir never saw coming.

Marinette smirked at she dodged an attack. The feeling of relief and the utter excitement shot through her like lightning. Adrien looking up from the crowd, looking utterly lost and heartbroken was…

Honestly, the fact Marinette hadn’t suddenly broken out in song like life had suddenly turned to a freaking Disney movie was ridiculous. Utterly Ridiculous, as Chloe would say.

That look meant he had arrived. That look meant all of Adrien’s dreams of a second chance and talking “sense” into Ladybug had just shattered.

Yes, Marinette thought, this was what revenge looked like.

Marinette stood in a heavily armored costume. She had arrived to scene first. Her outfit was mostly black and not skin tight. The ladybug red with dots had been limited to body armor and gear. She wings now; see-through, shimmery, red ones. Her only issue one the antennas on her head. (When Marinette finally got Tikki to confess that an outfit change was possible, the little god insisted on getting some say in it.) Her hair was up in bun.

A loud roar was heard through the carnival, signaling that the next hero had arrived. Brightroar landed with a menacing growl. His black hair slicked framed a pair of golden eyes. His suit was a mix of gold and black.

Viperion (Luka) and Ryuko (Kagami) quickly joined in next to them. Queen Bee fluttered onto the scene and landed gracefully beside Marinette.

The icing on the cake was when Blanche Renarde arrived. Her icy blond hair swinging in two pig tales. Gone was the orange and white that the old fox Rena Rouge had sported. Instead, the white fox looked like she walked right out of the Arctic in an all-white suit that turned every head.

“On your left,” Chat Noir shouted as he entered the fight. Or rather the new Chat Noir shouted. He landed gracefully next to her and attacked the Cotton Candy Akuma. (Some poor little girl had dropped her cotton candy and Hawkmoth had taken advantage of her dismay; the sicko) Felix was doing a remarkable job replacing the old, rabid Chat. The crowd gasped and awed. nd Marinette could hear Alya scream about a replacement.

The New Chat Noir wore a more heavily armored suit that was less of a skin-tight leather monstrosity and more like something someone could actually wear into combat. (Apparently, it was possible to redesign the suit… And boy was Marinette going to have words with Tikki.) His hair was long and shot out a lion’s mane.

If the Ice fox was the icing on the cake. Chat Noir was the crown jewel.

This was the new team Miraculous. This was 10 out of 10. This was the best they’d ever been.

Payback was a bitch,

And Ladybug had just proven herself to be the baddest.

The clear hurt and confusion on Alya’s face as she looked upon her replacement was sweet. Because FINALLY knew what it was like. What the shock of being backstabbed and replaced felt like. It had hurt like for Marinette to be so easily replaced by Lila by her so-called best friend.

And Marinette knew it must have killed Alya to be replaced by her icon, her hero, her muse.

But it would only get worse.

As the fight commenced, every now and then she would catch Alya and Adrien looking miserable and ready to demand answers. And, In Adrien’s case, beg for his miraculous back. But there were no second chances

Everything had happened a little less than a week ago.

And it had been savage.

Adrien’s Chat Noir had once again arrived late to the fight. (Which made no sense as the Akuma has once again appeared in school, during lunchtime.) He jumped down with a quick, “Sorry for the tardiness, my lady.”

Then he had pouted when he saw Viperion and Queen Bee there to assist; glaring at the snake and proclaiming that they were necessary.

To which queen bee had snapped, “More necessary then some mangy Alley Chat.”

Chat Noir had then looked to Ladybug to defend him and when all he got was a blank stare, he threw a tantrum. When that got to the response. Chat finally hissed, “Then if I’m not needed, then maybe I’ll just leave.”

It wasn’t surprising, now that Marinette knew just who was behind that mask of his. Sweet, Childish, naive, foolish, gutless Adrien Agreste. Marinette could have forgiven Chat for his actions done when wasn’t suited up if he had proved himself. If Chat Noir had been reliable, dedicated, hardworking. Or even remotely serious about being a hero of Paris, then

Marinette could’ve looked the other way. She wasn’t the type of person to take personal feelings into work.

Business and real-life was separate.

Somehow, even with Gabriel as a father, Adrien never learned that lesson. Never learned to put aside personal feelings and grudges to get the job done. To be professional.

Instead, Chat Noir was immature. He rushed into battle, sometimes getting himself killed. He was always late. Sometimes never showing at all. He flirted incessantly and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

No, Ladybug wasn’t interested.

No, Ladybug didn’t want to date you.

No hard feelings, but seriously no means no.

And when Ladybug finally had enough and called him out, being as forceful as she could, that once again Ladybug would never date Chat Noir. Chat would throw a tantrum, refuse to help her fight whatever Akuma they were up against; risking lives and Ladybug’s own safety.

The first few times it happened Ladybug had given in and apologized first; all but beg Chat Noir to come back. Then Chat would go back to flirting and proclaiming them soulmates.

After the first few times… well, Marinette had enough. She never went to go get him. Either she would bring Queen Bee or Viperion to help her. Or she would defeat the Akuma herself.

Chat proclaimed them partners but never understood what that meant.

The fight had been long and deadly to the point where all three heroes were convinced Hawkmoth was actively trying to kill them now. Each had to disappear to recharge and come back multiple times. It had spread throughout Paris and back to the school again. But no matter how hurt it was clear they were, no matter how much trouble they were in, Chat Noir never came back.

He left them all without a second thought.

When the fight was over, and the new heroes helped Ladybug prove once again why Chat Noir wasn’t needed, Marinette finally decided enough was enough. Maybe she should’ve taken it easy on him. He had been her partner, albeit a sorry excuse one.

But Nah.

Because at that point Ladybug was bleeding and bruised everywhere. She had watched Queen Bee fall from the sky like Iron Man fell from that wormhole when New York had been attacked. And both Viperion and Ladybug raced to the falling hero with everything they had. If Ladybug had been a second too late to catch her, Queen Bee would’ve died. She’d have smashed into concrete and it would’ve been the end of Chloe.

That was something Marinette could never forgive.

Enough was enough. Chat Noir was a bad hero. And Ladybug could admit that. She knew it. She couldn’t just pretend like she used to.

This was real

And knowing it’s real means you gotta make a decision.

One, keep denying it.

Or two… do something about it.

Her fists clenched as she surveyed the wreckage that Paris from atop the school. Hawkmoth had to be stopped. He had gone too far, she thought with a shake of her head. And with a quick shout of “Miraculous Ladybug!” Everything had been reversed. Like nothing had happened.

“My lady,” Chat chimed as he landed in front of her.

Speaking of assholes who’d gone too far, “Chat Noir.” Ladybug said blankly. For once it wasn’t anger that coursed through her veins. It was something worse, something darker. And Marinette wondered if this was what pure hate felt like.

“Quite the fight,” Chat said as he bounced from one foot to another.

The only thing that any of three heroes from taking was their Kwamis whispering in their ears. Plus Viperion was holding up, and holding back a snarling Queen Bee,

“Take the ring,” Tikki hissed in her ear.

Marinette nodded. “A regular old deathmatch.” She had an idea, a plan.

A smug look appeared on Chat Noir’s face, “Bet you wish I was there.” Then that stupid smirk appeared on his face and Marinette nearly lost it. “I think an apology is in order, my lady.” Chat gave her an expectant look that made Marinette glad that she could breathe fire because the alley chat would be toast.

Instead, Ladybug smiled softly, “You’re right.” She said to the shock of the two standing behind her and the pleased surprise of the one in front of her. “An apology is needed.”

She walked slowly to Chat Noir, swinging her hips a bit more than usual. When she got to him, Ladybug wrapped her arms around Chat Noir’s shoulders and hugged him. She hugged for their time together. She hugged to for the man she thought he could be.

Ladybug hugged Chat Noir for the hero she had hoped he would become. And hugged him even harder for that same hero she now realized he never would become. Because that the little boy hiding behind the mask didn’t have in him to become the hero Paris needed, the world needed.

She pulled back slowly out of the hug and let her hands drift from his should to his own and held them tightly. “Chat Noir, I’m sorry.” And with a flash, Ladybug yanked the ring off his finger. “That I’m not sorry.”

There was a shout a green light erupted around Chat, and when it was gone Adrien Agreste stood in his place; to the horror-filled gasps of Queen Bee and Viperion.

Adrien stood in utter shock. His mind trying to catch up to what had just taken place.

“You’re not worthy to wear this ring,” Ladybug stated. “You are not worthy to Chat Noir, to be a hero. You are reckless, immature, and unprofessional. I would rather face ten thousand akumas alone than work with you again. You’re weak and I’ve outgrown you.”

With that, the three heroes walked away, leaving the blond on the roof of the school.

“Goodbye, Adrien,” Ladybug said as they disappeared.

“I don’t need this!!!” Adrien had shouted after them angrily, finally snapping out of his shock. “I don’t need you. I have bigger things to do. Better things. Watch. I’ll be the best hero ever!”

Ladybug hadn’t wasted time getting new partners; getting her team ready. And it turned out there were actual tests that could be performed to show who was worthy of a miraculous. Not just who saved the right old man.

Through the tests, Felix had become Chat Noir. Marc had taken the lion Kwami Sharptooth and become Brightroar. And Aurore had become Blanche Renarde. The last two, Marinette had been training for months before deciding they had been ready for their first appearance.

Felix had taken a few days to train but had been a natural. Like he’d been born to be Chat Noir but somehow the universe had screwed up and made it Adrien.

Ladybug decides to call them to face an easier Akuma; such as the cotton candy monster wreaking havoc on the carnival.

Becoming better than they ever wore before was the finest way to kill. The team defeating the Akuma like it was nothing had to have been a bitter pill for Hawkmoth, Adrien, and Alya to swallow.

Ladybug bet it stung. To, in fact, see that the grass had only gotten greener on Ladybug’s side of things now that the old Chat Noir had retired.

It was a new day. The entire world was better than it had been; everything was sunshine and technicolor… for Marinette and everyone on her side. But for everyone else, it would only get worse.

Marinette let the de-akumatised butterfly go as she fluttered easily onto the ground; right in front of the crowd; Alya and Adrien eyes on her.

Chat Noir leaped over. “That was a job well done.”

“You’re not Chat Noir!” Alya suddenly shouted, her phone in her hand clearing recording. The other reporters in the audience raised their mics higher. “Who are you?”

“It’s not who I am underneath,” Chat Noir stated. “But what I do that defines me.”

“But What happened to the old Chat?” Alya continued with anger clear on her face. “Is he coming back? Is Rena Rouge coming back.”

“He was deemed unfit for the position,” Chat answered. “I have taken over permanently. Any other heroes replaced were replaced for the same reasons.” With that, he turned his attention back to Ladybug. “Shall I escort you home, Ladybug?”

“You know where she lives?!” Adrien asked with a strangled voice.

Felix smirked at the boy he had replaced. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” He gave a careless shrug. “We’re dating after all.”

The two heroes turned and walked away. Ladybug cast a smirk over her shoulder at the former heroes Chat Noir and Rena Rouge.

Sorry not sorry.

#ladybug and chat noir #ml salt #ml salt fic #ml spite #ml spite fic #ml fic #marinette dupen chang #Marienette Dupain Cheng #Marinette deserves better #queen of mean au #Queen Mari AU #miraculous of salt

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taehyung-rambles · 3 years

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My Top 3 BTS Outfits in Each Era (Up to Permission to Dance)

Disclaimer: These pictures are hella grainy because I used the wrong edit and only realized after I’d done like 10 eras. Plus it’s hella hard to catch a shot of the boys during the MV when they’re not moving.

Okay, so I don’t know why I wanted to do this. That’s a lie; there’s a very specific outfit that made me want to do this, so look out for that one if you want to know why I’ve decided to dedicate myself to this terribly long and arduous post.

This post is what it sounds like. One thing I’m gonna say before we get going is that I skipped the Make It Right era because the boys didn’t actually film anything for it (it was just a stage mix); ergo, I’d be ranking the outfits they had for the Love Yourself Tour, not the outfits that were selected for them for that particular song. So, I figured it’d be pointless to be like, “Oh, you see this outfit that Jimin wears for these four songs on tour that he happens to wear in the Make It Right stage mix? I like it.”

Also:

This isn’t based on my bias or the members themselves at all; it’s literally which outfits I liked the best.

That means that there are eras where there’s two of one member plus one other member in my top three since the boys usually have at least two outfits. Actually, there’s one era that only has three outfits from one member in it because that member was styled really well for that era.

I will be, like, talking about the outfits through the members’ names, though, because... how else am I supposed to do it? “Yes, so IDOL outfit #9 was really cool”? Not gonna work.

Some of the representations of the members’ outfits aren’t actually that good because I literally could not take a full-body screenshot of them since they were always moving.

As such, I’d advise you to actually go to the MV for outfits you wanted to see in full.

I didn’t use any promotional shots, behind the scenes MV shootings, or outfits from secondary versions of the MVs (with one exception I’ll talk about later)--such as the Manifesto Film for ON or the Japanese version MVs--because I wanted to pull them all from the main MVs. Plus, there was always the chance that the outfit I liked wasn’t shown in the behind the scenes shooting or didn’t have a promotional shot taken of it, and I wanted all the pictures to be taken from the same place.

So, you should prepare for some funny faces from the boys because some of these screenshots are questionable for the sake of capturing the outfit.

I’ll probably talk about their hair if I feel like I need to because it’s so good that’s it’s almost like a part of the outfit; that’s gonna be rare, though.

Disclaimer #2: I do not have any real knowledge about fashion, so I’m just here to say, “Wow. Don’t they look so good?”

Disclaimer #3: I sincerely apologize to the boys for all the ridiculous faces that are to follow.

No More Dream

Boy oh boy, was this era hard to decide on. BTS’s early MVs had a certain mood to them, you know? And that meant there outfits weren’t always amazing. However, I did my best to understand the concept of putting the boys in over-the-top outfits to sell the genre of music and image brand they were going for; that being said, I did end up picking the most basic outfits from the No More Dream era.

Taehyung: I mean, it’s a basic outfit, you know? I’m a sucker for all-black outfits--though the all-black wardrobe in the No More Dream MV was not exactly my flavor of fashion--and Taehyung in a leather jacket is always gonna be awesome.

Jin: Jin’s arms said wassup, you know? That’s not really why I picked this outfit for my top three, though; it was mostly because I liked the shirt they put Jin in, and the accent with the bandana on his pants was nice.

Jungkook: So, the print on Jungkook’s pants was used for all members in one way or another--like, for instance, Taehyung had a T-shirt with it--but I like the print being on the pants Jungkook has on. Also, the style of his pants is a style I love; I have no idea what style they’re in, but the loose fabric at the top is nice. Also, his high-tops (or boots?) are a nice contrast to the rest of black in his outfit.

We Are Bulletproof Pt.2

Talk about another era of questionable fashion. It’s not really the style of clothes they were wearing or which pieces they’re wearing because I know BigHit did the best it could with the money it had at the time; I mostly don’t like the early eras’ stylings because there was a lot going on. Like, you got the leggings under the shorts, knee socks, shirts tied around waists, etc. They’re doing the most, and I don’t really vibe with it. Not that layering is bad because BTS has outfits that are layered later, obviously, and some of those are really nice. I think it’s just awkward to look at when it’s a bunch of sportswear. Anyway, that’s not what this is about.

Jimin: I know Jimin’s got eels or fish on his shorts. I didn’t realize until I look at Taehyung’s T-shirt and realized that he was also wearing the same print. However, Jimin’s shorts being gold looks nice between his black socks and shirt. I can’t explain why. Because pants are usually the darker color in outfits, so the fact that it’s inverted is interesting? Maybe I like the eels after all? Who can say?

Jungkook #2: I’ve no idea what’s going on with Jungkook’s outfit in the middle photo, but the print on his shorts in nice. I mean, I like that he’s got red accents throughout the entire outfit because it’s less gaudy than the gold accents on the boys’ other set of outfits for this MV. Other than that, I just like it better than the rest of the outfits (besides my number one, obviously).

Jungkook #1: No, there is not a full-body shot of this outfit in the MV, and yes, I’m still listing it as my number one. Is this partially because I didn’t like any of the other outfits? Maybe. But, I also really like the print on Jungkook’s--what I’m going to tentatively call--shoulder-pad-jacket. Like, the sports uniforms were a little dumb, but I like that Jungkook’s was a bit more fancy, if you will, than just a jersey. Even if I can only see the top half of it.

N.O

Now we’re getting into some fashion, kids. I mean, the N.O concepts weren’t the best, but it’s better than fish-shorts, you know? Throughout doing this project, I realized that the boys have done the all-white thing a few times--like in Black Swan, Boy With Luv, and Film out, to name a few--and I really like it. Just like in N.O, it’s always a really nice contrast with, either the music, or the members’ images or both. The white clothes make everything seem softer, but then you put a song like N.O on top of it or an image like attractiveness-can-kill Kim Taehyung, and it offsets everything in a really interesting way.

Taehyung: I mean, honestly, I didn’t know what outfit to put in this spot, but I like Taehyung’s shirt, so here we are. The texture on it is nice, actually, because the boys were mostly wearing stuff on top of plain white hoodies or shirts, so Taehyung having a shirt with a bit of visual to it was good.

Jungkook: I don’t know; I like casual clothes, okay? It’s a baggie hoodie, sweatpants, and some chains, but I like the look a lot. Don’t @ me--not that this is a controversial opinion. Maybe I’m influenced by the choreography or something, but I liked this particular Jungkook outfit in N.O.

Yoongi: Can I say Yoongi looks a bit like a ‘90s rapper or is that inaccurate? Yoongi’s got the curly, red hair with a bandana in it, y’all. That shit’s wild. And he’s got a fluffy, white vest. Legit, his outfit says, “I’m cute,” but his expression and rap verse say, “Sit the fuck down,” you know what I mean? That’s the type of shit I’m here for.

Boy In Luv

This era was difficult to decide on, as you can imagine, because they were all in school uniforms with very tiny differences in between them. I think, because of that, this era was a little bit about how each member looked in their outfit for the MV because I didn’t have much to go on.

Jimin: You can’t see it in the picture I was able to get, but he’s got little metal pieces on the collar of his shirt, which is also a black collar, and both of those little details are cool. That’s literally it all I have to say.

J-Hope: Hobi was in all-black, y’all, so I wanted to include him. Would you like to know why his picture is so terrible? There were zero full-body shots of him during his rap verse. Why? So difficult it was to get a shot of Hobi looking fine as hell in this uniform.

Namjoon: I think one other member had a plaid shirt under their button down--Jin, I think--but the pattern of Namjoon’s plaid shirt was the one I liked the best. It’s a really nice pop to the black-and-white the other guys had.

Just one day

This MV was so difficult to find good shots for, let me tell you. Take a shot every time I say that from now on if you want to, you know, poison yourself. Anyway, the outfits for this era were pretty simple. The boys also had school uniform-esque outfits, but they were all the same, so I didn’t include them. At least, they were close enough to the same that I didn’t like any of them individually.

Jimin: When I tell you Jimin only has close-up shots in this MV--I digress. You can’t really tell with the picture I was able to get, but the patches on his pants looked really cool, to me. He also had a long, baggy shirt on on top of the tight pants, so the entire outfit ended up looking really nice.

Jungkook: I don’t really know how to explain this one. I just like the look of it. Jungkook looks like a ballet dancer, you know? I like the asymmetrical sections of his shirt, I like the leather pants, I like the neckline; it’s a good outfit, simple though it is.

Yoongi: This is a boyfriend look if I’ve ever seen one. I’m also a sucker for denim jackets, so that’s part of the reason I liked this outfit on Yoongi. Also, the layering of the jacket, hoodie, and shirt is a combo that can rarely ever go wrong. This is another neutral-toned MV in terms of the outfits, so I like the bit of blue from Yoongi’s jacket, as well.

Danger

This is the first BTS era in which everyone’s outfits killed, and I had a difficult time picking out which ones I liked the best. These outfits definitely fit the Dark & Wild concept well, and I think each member was styled amazingly for this MV.

Taehyung: There is a strong part of me that loves Taehyung in this ballcap. I also love the leather accents on his blazer and the fact that he’s got a white shirt on for that bit of contrast. I don’t know; the entire visual for Taehyung in this outfit was working.

Jimin: Isn’t Jimin’s shirt so cool? It’s, like, kind of a stiff material, so when he dances, it looks really cool. Plus, the button down and chain he has underneath it are such cool little accents. It almost looks like he’s wearing a turtleneck from a distance because the button down is buttoned all the way up, and I like that vibe.

Jungkook: I don’t know how to explain the emotional attachment I have to Jungkook’s outfit in the Danger MV. The plaid shirt around his waist, the denim jacket, the dark and ripped jeans; I mean, please. This is an iconic MV look, and you can quote me on that. Legit, this would be in the catalog of “Jungkook’s most iconic looks,” for me.

War of Hormone

Can I talk about how cool the concept was for the War of Hormone era? Like, the punk look was such a good choice. It made them look like British teenagers from the 80s, but I’m not mad at that. Also, the mussed hair? What a look these guys had during this era. I don’t think there’s a whole lot of BTS eras that kind of come with their own predetermined fashion themes like War of Hormone came with the punk one. You got Dynamite with the 70s theme and Dope with the costumes theme, but that’s kind of it. The rest of the time, the boys kind of just match while the outfits compliment the song, rather than the outfits embodying the song. So, War of Hormone is a special era because of that.

Jungkook: These stripped sweaters and skinny scarves were such a fad for me when I was in elementary school, but somehow Jungkook makes it seem actually cool. Plus, he’s got all those holes in his sweater that make it look all grungy, and it’s so fun that that’s how they decided to add a focal piece to his outfit.

Taehyung: I wasn’t initially thinking Taehyung would be on this list since the other members have louder outfits than just a leather jacket, but Taehyung’s outfit is so cool. It’s got the print on the back of the jacket plus the buttons on the front that really sell the punk vibe, but he’s also got pinstriped pants, y’all. What a combo.

Namjoon: I don’t like to say “daddy,” but this outfit on Namjoon is, you know? I mean, it’s just a really nice suit in the first place. You got your little pocket square, really nice lines, gorgeous pinstripes; plus, Namjoon’s got that white shirt under it instead of a button down. It all works really nicely, and the overall outfit stuck out to me right away when I was looking at this MV.

I Need U

It was so difficult trying to grab the outfits for I Need U and RUN because they’re basically short films, which meant there was no choreo I could pause during to get a full body shot or cuts of the boys singing their solos. However, I managed to grab these three, so let’s get it.

Yoongi: It’s simple, I know, but I like simple sometimes. I think it’s mostly the jeans that made me choose this Yoongi outfit in I Need U because the shirt was plain white, and the jeans being ripped an rolled was just enough diversity to make me love the outfit. Plus, Yoongi’s shirt is tucked in, so it’s a nice vibe.

Taehyung #2: The outfit in the middle photo is kind of a weird outfit, to me. I think it’s because the jack and the pants are the same material, but in any case, I like it a lot because it looks strange but simple at the same time. The outfits in I Need U were a little geeky, if I can say that, which is totally fine, but I just ended up liking Taehyung’s the best because of the fit of the outfit and the material.

Taehyung #1: It’s that jacket-hoodie-shirt combo again. It’s also all black; it’s also got a leather jacket. It’s the stuff I love, and it’s all on Taehyung, who I love. I mean, there’s also the factor of him wearing the hood up to mimic the dark tone of the MV and song, so all of that contributed to me liking this outfit a lot.

For You

I didn’t expect to like the outfits in the For You MV all that much since it’s a bit of a basic song, but I thought a lot of the pieces were really beautiful. Jungkook had a nice outfit during the choreo, Jin had a nice outfit for the scene when he was washing cars; I mean, all the members had several really nice looks for this MV.

Namjoon: I was trying to decide between this and Jin’s denim jacket outfit, but I really like the dark wash on Namjoon’s jacket and jeans. Also, the jeans being rolled to expose the boots is something I also really liked. This is an aside, but doesn’t Namjoon fucking wear this shit? He looks hella good.

Yoongi: I really like the stark white of Yoongi’s jacket and pants against the black of his shirt. Plus, the shirt has a really gorgeous pattern on it, which is a big reason why I ended up choosing this outfit for my top three.

Taehyung: That jacket is so pretty, isn’t it? It’s not just the floral pattern of it, but the stripes underneath the floral pattern are so lovely against the white in the rest of Taehyung’s outfit. It makes Taehyung look older, too, which has nothing to do with the outfit, but I figured I’d mention it.

Dope

Does anyone know why the concept for this MV was basically Halloween costumes? Was it because the song is about dudes who work hard for their dreams and they wanted the boys to be dressed like various kinds of employees? Anyway, it was a fun MV to look at.

J-Hope: I thought Hobi’s outfit was fitted very well, so I ended up choosing it mostly because of the cut and shape it had. However, the actual leather itself looked really cool, too, with the white and red accents.

Jimin: Like, all the boys wore the white-shirt-black-tie ensemble, but it was Jimin’s only look for the MV, and he wore it the best, so I had to put it down. This one is another case of it being kind of about the member, but sue me, okay? I stan this Jimin.

Jungkook: We all knew, didn’t we? I mean, the police officer’s uniform is iconic. The pants being tucked into the boots gives Jungkook such a nice silhouette, and the fit of the uniform did the same thing. Jungkook looked incredible in this era.

RUN

This era gave me so many issues; you don’t understand. You see how shitty these pictures are, right? None of the members were still during this entire MV except for that one shot of Jungkook sitting on the floor; I mean, I guess that’s indicative of the song being called “RUN,” but ya know. Honestly, I really liked a lot of the outfits during the RUN era because all of them had so much character. It was really difficult to choose only three, so let me know in the replies which outfits you liked from this era.

Jin: A lot of my decisions are based on jackets, but you’re gonna have to bear with me on that one because it’s gonna continue. The picture sucks, but go to the MV and look at Jin’s jacket because it’s got such a nice pattern. It stood out a lot to me because it was different from the other members, and Jin doesn’t usually wear jackets like this.

Taehyung: You’re also gonna have to go check this one out for yourself, but I though the brown jacket and red flannel together looked really nice, especially on top of the dark jeans Taehyung was wearing. I mean, the sunglasses are a vibe, too, but that wasn’t really on my mind when making this decision.

Yoongi: I love this Yoongi outfit in the RUN MV. It had just enough going on to make it look interesting but not busy. The red-and-black striped shirt under the ripped, acid wash jacket provides such a nice contrast. Plus, Yoongi’s got moe sleeves here, which is adorable.

EPILOGUE: Young Forever

This was sort of an awkward MV to do because it’s such a short song, but I got there in the end. The outfits weren’t terribly complex, so we won’t be here all that long, especially since all the members were wearing just about the same types of outfits in terms of color profile.

Yoongi: I like the pattern on Yoongi’s shirt a lot, and I like the little ribbons or whatever they are hanging from his sleeves. This isn’t a style I see on Yoongi that often, but regardless of who was wearing it, the outfit did it’s job because it looks awesome.

Taehyung: I really like the cut of Taehyung’s shirt. Like, the way it buttons looks really interesting, the lack of a collar looks cool, and he’s got a little ascot/scarf thing that has a nice pattern on it. Plus, the scarf was sitting underneath the neckline of the shirt, which was a cool detail.

Jungkook: So, Jungkook was the only member with color in his outfit? I know he’s the center of BTS, but it’s a bit weird? I’m not complaining, though, because the color of his shirt is gorgeous. The rosy-brown was such a nice pop of contrast against the grey background of the MV. It also tied in nicely with the warm tones at the end as the sun is setting.

FIRE

This was an era for outfits, y’all. They kind of a SoCal vibe going on in this MV, and all the members looked super cool. It was interesting to see their outfits shifting as the scenes changed, too. Like, when they were outside, they had outfits with more pops of interests, but when they were inside or when it was dark, they had slightly grungier outfits with more subdued patterns. Or, when they were just messing around and singing or shooting skits, they had goofier outfits on. Anyway, this MV is rad, and so are the outfits.

Taehyung #2: I just really love Taehyung’s jacket that he has on for the majority of this MV. On top of the black shirt and jeans, it became a nice focal piece. Taehyung’s jeans are ripped, too, and it provides some shape to Taehyung’s legs that’s super nice. I mean, all the members have knee rips, but in an all-black outfit, it looked awesome. Also, though you can’t see it in the picture, he has brown boots on, and it’s such a weird addition to a black-and-denim outfit, but somehow, it works really well.

Jungkook: It’s the cardigan for me, fam. It’s such a pretty piece; actually, that’s not all I love about Jungkook’s outfit in the middle picture because he has this band around his leg that stands out so much for some reason. I don’t even know what the band is or if it’s a part of the jeans or what, but it actually really does elevate the look.

Taehyung #1: This fit is it, y’all. First of all, the jacket is bomb; the color is stunning, and the fringe is so fun. The belt Taehyung’s wearing pops--at least to me--and the black jeans work really well with the jacket. And Taehyung’s boots plus the jeans? Please.

Save ME

This was the most difficult MV to get screenshots for by far. This, War of Hormone, and Film out are the only MVs where the boys only have one outfit, right? Boy In Luv might, as well; I can’t remember. There’s probably more, but anyway. I’ll keep it a buck: I’m not gonna have a lot to say about Yoongi and Namjoon, but we’re gonna try our best.

Yoongi: The ripped jeans are nice, as always, and I love Yoongi’s boots, but other than that, this is just about me liking the type of outfit this is. I mean, having a long-sleeve tee under a T-shirt can be kind of lame, but when it’s a nearly all-black outfit with pops of light coming from the undershirt, it can look good.

Namjoon: I picked Namjoon’s outfit because the jacket he was wearing was fitting pretty tightly, and I thought it made his silhouette look really sharp. The ballcap did the same thing since Namjoon’s hair wasn’t out in the wind. Also, he’s got converse high-tops on--I think--and that’s always a vibe.

Taehyung: Taehyung’s outfit is the only outfit I freakin’ love from Save ME. He’s got the moe sleeves, guys, and it makes Taehyung look so soft. Plus, the sweater that’s on top of his long-sleeve tee is cut really nicely so the sleeves are really big and make Taehyung’s silhouette look really cool when he’s dancing. Also, red-haired Taehyung is an icon.

Blood Sweat & Tears

So, I kind of both loved every single outfit in this MV and didn’t find any of them particularly stand out-ish. That’s probably because they were all awesome so none of them could be more awesome than another. Still, I came up with a list. Let me tell you, I was so mad that the suits the boys were wearing in the beginning were not shown that much in the MV because they were all gorgeous.

Jungkook #2: Which is why Jungkook’s face is covered because I could only get this shot of his suit since it’s basically invisible the rest of the time. How pretty is the print on it, though? The flowers are gorgeous on top of the black.

Yoongi: I really like light nude-colored fabric because anything you put on top of it looks a little bit lacy, and that’s what Yoongi’s blazer looked like in this MV. Plus, he’s got a choker, which looks really interesting since he’s wearing a suit.

Jungkook #1: It’s basically just the shirt that I really loved, but it’s got such a beautiful print on it, and it’s pale nude, and he has--I think--a velvet choker on. Plus, his shirt’s all flowy and nice. It doesn’t get better than this, kids.

Spring Day

Is it just me, or were their outfits a little bit strange in Spring Day? Not a whole lot, but the winterwear they had on was really unique. Especially the heavily patterned sweaters a few of the members were wearing. Quirky is the word I want to use, but it’s not really quirky as much as it’s just a bit off center.

Yoongi: I honestly didn’t know what the third outfit should be, so Yoongi is kind of here because I liked the simplicity, and the pink of his sweater is a good pink and not that gross hot pink that never looks good. He’s also got rips in his jeans in a really weird spot, which is probably not that good for the winter, but it looks nice.

Namjoon: I can’t tell if Namjoon is wearing a white hoodie with an orange hood or if he’s wearing a long-sleeve sweater on top of an orange hoodie, but either way, he looks great. Also, the blazer on top is, like, kind of weird but also a vibe. It’s an outfit that doesn’t really match, but it doesn’t clash, so I guess you’d call that complimentary?

Jungkook: It’s a simple black-and-white outfit, but the specific pieces Jungkook was wearing were all really pretty. The stripes being concentrated in the middle of the sweater and the jacket having flecks of white that look like paint go together so well.

Not Today

Everybody was poppin’ in this era, outfits and otherwise. I really like the red theme that colored everybody’s concepts, and it kind of makes me think of Not Today as a red song. Is that weird? Who knows? Anyway, this era was hard to choose from.

Namjoon: Namjoon looked like a king in this MV. He’s got purple hair that actually really pops against the rest of his outfit, and his pants being red is so fun. Also, the bleached out area of his button down shirt looks really awesome. Jungkook has a shirt like that in this MV, as well, but the stripes on Namjoon’s make the bleached spot stand out more.

Yoongi: The leather pants were a good choice because Yoongi looks awesome in them. The red detailing on them is also awesome, but the money piece is his jacket. What a nice color that jacket is, I tell you what. It stands out so much because of how vibrant it is, especially against Yoongi’s pitch-black hair.

Taehyung: This is one of those outfits that I’ve always loved, and now I get to talk about it. I cannot tell what is hanging from his hips, but the tie-dye look of it is fun; the shirt Taehyung is wearing is super weird, but I love it a lot. Also, Taehyung in a bandana always slaps. The jacket, though, is so cool. The pure white of it is already eye-catching, but the actual fit and shape of it is really unique, too.

DNA

This era doesn’t have the outfit that made me want to make this post, but it did have the MV that made me want to make this post. I mean, we all know the DNA MV is vibey as hell, and the bright and bold colors and patterns in everybody’s outfits sold that theme really easily. This was another era that was difficult to choose from because I liked a lot of the individual pieces the members were wearing, but I didn’t like many outfits as whole packages.

Taehyung #2: Taehyung looks so elegant in this outfit, and I know it’s also because of his hair, but damn. I wanna say it makes him look rich, but that’d be stupid since, you know, he is rich. Again, it’s simple, but the silk, red shirt Taehyung’s wearing is stunning.

Yoongi: I don’t really know why I chose this outfit, but I still love it. Like, it’s just a jersey and a blue jacket, but the colors are coordinated really nicely, and the blue is a pretty blue. I don’t know; I just thought it was well put together.

Taehyung #1: I did not think Taehyung in sweats and a dress shirt was gonna end up being my favorite outfit in DNA, but here we are. The red-white-and-blue theme is all over the place in the DNA MV, but it doesn’t look too gaudy of a color combo in Taehyung’s outfit in the leftmost picture. He looks comfy and cute, and I like it a lot.

MIC Drop (Steve Aoki Remix)

Is it okay to say that this MV has some of the best stylings for the boys in any MV? I mean, they all looked dope, no? It was so hard to get these screenshots, and I couldn’t even get the best ones in the world, but I really liked everyone’s outfits in this era since it was like sportswear but more swaggy.

Yoongi #2: This is a shitty screencap, but I couldn’t get a better one without Yoongi being three pixels. Anyway, the all white tracksuit is a vibe and half. Yoongi looks so damn cool. You can’t see it in the picture, but his sweatpants have black stripes on them that look awesome, and he’s got red shoes. Epic.

Yoongi #1: I hate camo, but this look is it, fam. The top half with the hoodie and the bandanas is enough, but I think Yoongi was also wearing a really long, black shirt underneath that hung the middle of his thighs, and it’s awesome against the black pants.

Taehyung: Taegi really was blessing us with the headbands in this era. This look is badass, periodt. The loose pants, the combat boots, the leather jacket with the orange lining, the Mastermind World hoodie--I mean, it’s a legendary look for Taehyung, no doubt.

FAKE LOVE

This era was a good era. Jimin’s hair looked like a tiger, Taehyung had a mullet, Jungkook had a jacket that made him look like a ruby; I mean, everyone looked amazing in the Fake LOVE era. I don’t have it in my list, but I do wanna talk about the ruby jacket Jungkook was wearing because, wow, was it pretty. That is all.

Taehyung #2: I don’t know why I like this outfit so much, but I think it’s because it’s weird? Like, it’s all neutral colors, which is why it’s not too much, but the leather straps are so strange. I love it, though, because it’s like Taehyung’s in a straitjacket, which was the point, I guess. Also, his shirt is a bit asymmetrical, so that’s fun.

Jungkook: I mean, this whole ensemble is iconic, to me. The jacket is so sporadically colored because it’s, like, tie-dyed but also sectioned off by color, so that’s awesome; then you got his ratty tee and the plaid shirt tied around his waist. And if that wasn’t enough to butter your bread (pun intended), JK’s got ripped jeans and blocky shoes, baby. What a combo.

Taehyung #1: How pretty is Taehyung’s shirt? It’s flowy and flowery and the colors are absolutely gorgeous. Taehyung’s jeans are also really interesting because they’ve got different shades of denim, little frays and rips, and striped details that make them look interesting. I guess it’s just a shirt and jeans, but the pieces are so beautiful.

IDOL

I take it back; this era was the worst era for getting screenshots. The pain I went through to get Taehyung in that suit and Jungkook in that hanbok was ridiculous. Anyway, as IDOL is a chaotic as fuck song, the outfits were equally chaotic, and all of them were kind of awesome in their own quirky ways. Like, even though Taehyung’s red-and-white outfit with the suspenders is ridiculous under normal circumstances, with Kim Taehyung and the IDOL MV together, it was somehow an awesome outfit. That’s basically how I felt about 90% of the outfits in the MV.

Yoongi: It’s just a really nice outfit. Is that enough? The color of his scarf is stunning, and he’s got a pretty turquoise shirt that you can see beneath the hemline of his white shirt, and both of those add nice pops of color to an otherwise neutral set of outfits the boys had during these shots.

Jungkook: Jungkook’s hanbok is a revelation, for real. It was so hard to get a screen shot of it, and the one I have doesn’t do it justice at all. The faint red details in the jacket are so pretty, especially when they pop up here and there as Jungkook is dancing. Also, the dandelion print on the pants is beautiful. It’s all-black, so it can kind of look basic depending on the shot, but the accents of the hanbok are stunning when you see them.

Taehyung: Taehyung is the only member who’s suit pants did not match the jacket, and I do not know why, but it kind of looks better than the rest of the suits because of it? Like, Taehyung’s blazer pops more to me because his jacket is the only piece of print he has, and the print is gorgeous. There’s these orange sections on his dress shirt collar, too, that are fun. Also, can you see his shoes in the picture? They’re super cool looking, aren’t they? I’ve no idea what they’re called, but I like them a lot.

Airplane pt.2 - Japanese ver.

The boys’ outfits were so fun in this era. I don’t know what style I should call it, but it’s like summer in Mexico, you know? Anyway, I thought all the members looked really unique in this MV because all the pieces were put together really well. Plus, everything was really sandy in tone, which felt like a solid representation of the song for whatever reason.

Jungkook: Is it the dark red jacket? Is it the weird red-and-brown striped shirt? Is it the white pants? It’s a lot about the white pants, actually. Regardless, I can’t explain why Jungkook’s outfit in the beginning of the MV is so nice to look at, but it is. Is it the--I think they are called--spectator shoes?

Taehyung #2: This looks like a plain outfit, I guess, because it’s almost all white, but the individual pieces are awesome. I can’t tell if Taehyung’s got a white cardigan over a white button down or if it’s the same shirt, but two of them; either way, the layered look came out really well. Also, the hat and the glasses straps are a mood. I think what made me love this outfit as a whole, though, are the pants because, I think they’re silk, and they’ve got blue dots all over them, which I apparently really like.

Taehyung #1: I don’t know why I think of Taehyung’s outfit in the leftmost picture as the outfit that represents this era, but I guess that’s why I like it so much. It’s hard to tell in the photo I have, but the lacy cardigan is so pretty. It almost has a glimmer to it because of the material, so that’s nice, but then there’s the scarf and the tan pants and the moccasin-like shoes, and--listen, this is a good fit, okay?

Boy With Luv

If you’ve made it this far, congrats! You’ve found the only era in which I’ve chosen one member for all three outfits. We’ll talk about that in a minute, but Taehyung was styled so damn well for the Boy With Luv MV. I don’t know why they decided on two seperate styles for the boys that was all-pink and then all-white, but they looked so damn good. Like, their other two sets of outfits were just kind-of-retro-and-goofy randomness, but then they had such strong color themes as well. Whatever; it turned out amazingly.

Taehyung #3: I really couldn’t find a third outfit that I really like for the last slot, but I chose Taehyung’s outfit in the rightmost picture because the light denim, white dress shirt, and white detail on the jacket was simple yet interesting. I don’t know if that’s weird, but the little details like the cuffs of the jacket or the cropped jeans with the detail at the bottom made me love the outfit.

Taehyung #2: I thought I knew this was gonna be my number one, but I digress. I don’t know why the other members were basically just in sweats that looked like pajamas--besides Namjoon, who, for some reason, was in a suit and sweater--for the pink theme, but they put Taehyung in a gorgeous jacket that made him look like the dude that invented sex. Does that make sense? Anyway, the tone of pink for outfit, the tie-dye shirt, and the silk jacket are all iconic.

Taehyung #1: No, but Taehyung’s white suit is so stunning? I don’t think the material is silk, but whatever the name of it is that escapes me right now is gorgeous. It’s got, like, a sheen to it that’s really beautiful. And the fluffy sleeves? Please. They’re such a cool texture, and it makes Taehyung look so elegant. As an aside, they definitely darkened the blue of his hair for the shoot with the white suit, right? Because it looks like they did, and the blue his hair is in the leftmost picture is amazing.

Lights

I mean, this era was basically just clothes the boys already wear rather than costumes for the MV, but I’m talking about it anyway. I guess the idea was for the outfits to be casual but colorful to mimic the message of Lights and the tone of the song.

Jungkook #2: This is yet another case in which I didn’t know what outfit to put in the third slot, so I said, “Hey, Jungkook’s pick jacket is nice,” and I arrived here. I mean, it is a nice jacket. Normally, I don’t like hot pink, but I think since Jungkook’s jeans are light and he’s wearing a light shirt, the jacket almost acts as a dark color and offsets the light pieces.

Jungkook #1: I mean, how do I talk about a simple outfit, you know? It just looks nice. He’s got a blue shirt underneath, so that’s a nice pop of color. I think I mostly like the shirt he has on over his tee because it’s pinstriped, and I like pinstripes. That’s all I got, but I really do like the outfit.

Jimin: Can you say, “This is my favorite outfit because of the jacket?” Good. Genuinely, though, this is the nicest outfit, by far, in the Lights era. The way the color is printed on the black is super interesting because it’s like one long stripe, but the stripe is a bit of a gradient with the black from the rest of the jacket creeping in. I don’t know; I like it more than I probably need to.

We’re going with the main MV, kids, but let the record show that Taehyung’s outfit in the Manifesto Film was bomb as fuck. Actually, they were all bomb as fuck. Anyway, I guess this MV was going for a peasant vibe? I don’t mean that in a rude way, but it’s supposed to be about people fighting their fears, right? So, it makes sense that the concept would be about scruffy characters that stand up and fight. So, yeah; a chic peasant vibe.

Jimin: You can’t at all see it in the picture I have, but the reason I chose Jimin’s outfit is because it has some synching in down the front that looks really cool. I don’t want to say that made my decision, but that one detail turned it from a basic outfit to something that looked a bit more elevated. I mean, it’s the same thing with the boots and the fact that the jacket on top is cropped. Little details matter to me.

J-Hope: It’s a basic outfit, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t cool. I think part of the reason I love it so much is because it’s dirty. Is that weird? It’s an outfit that reminds me of scuffed boots because it’s black but a little mussed. Anyway, the overall affect was awesome.

Taehyung: I think this goes down as an iconic Taehyung look, for me. It’s such a good costume. There were a lot of browns in this MV, so--much like with Hobi’s outfit--the charcoal of Taehyung’s pants stood out a lot to me. He’s also got this grey-white combat boots that stick out so much when they’re on camera. Mostly, though, it’s the vest and shirt that got me wild. The vest is such a nice color, but it’s got that ragged feel, the shirt is ratty and antique looking, and the entire ensemble is a win from head to toe. Including the thorns on Taehyung’s neck because, holy shit, are those the coolest additions to any concept in any BTS era.

Black Swan

I tried so hard to capture these outfits, but you really do need to go look at them yourself to understand how pretty they are. Black Swan has kind of a simple MV if you think about it, but honestly, the wardrobe brings so much life and character to it. In the same way I Need U has the shorts stories in it and IDOL has all the CGI in it, I really think the magic from the Black Swan era has a lot to do with the outfits. Especially considering how well the wardrobe looked in conjunction with the choreography.

Yoongi: This was almost another entirely Taehyung era with Taehyung second all-black outfit, but Yoongi really had a stunning concept for his black swan ensemble. I really love that they put him in boots, and his slacks are really pretty, but the shirt they styled him in is such a good piece. It’s entirely black, but it’s still striped, and the contrast in it is so beautiful to look at.

Taehyung #2: So, Taehyung had the most black showing in his white swan outfit, and I don’t know if that’s because Taehyung was supposed to seem like the member that would transform the fastest or what, but I loved his suit a lot. The jacket is super asymmetrical, as you can see in the photo, and it looks gorgeous during the choreo. Also, underneath his black vest, he’s got this sheer turtleneck that looks absolutely beautiful when you see it up close. Plus, the feather detail on Taehyung’s necklace is really pretty, too.

Taehyung #1: Please go look at the suit in the leftmost picture in the MV because it is stunning. I don’t know anything about who designed it or who put Taehyung in it, but it’s crazy beautiful. Like, his shirt is velvet, I think, which is already an interesting textural piece, but then the suit itself has detail work everywhere. The base material has a sheen to it, but then there’s patches that are glittery and gorgeous, as well, and when the light hits them, they’re so, so pretty. I love, love, love this suit.

Stay Gold

This is another era that’s kind of full of typical outfits, but they’ve got some interesting pieces going on that make the wardrobe for Stay Gold stand out more than in Lights or RUN, for example. Because the MV moves from inside to outside, their main outfits look different in each area since you see them in cool-toned scenes and then warm-toned scenes, which is pretty fun.

J-Hope: I’m sorry these photos show, like, nothing, but let me tell about Hobi’s outfit. So, initially, there’s a blue cardigan on top of Hobi’s other two shirts, and that’s not a piece we need to concern ourselves with. The button down Hobi is wearing is blue primarily but the fabric is plaid at the bottom of one of the sleeves and the shirt, which looks awesome. Plus, his pants are kind of mossy looking, and I think they’re red, as well. I don’t know why that looks so cool to me, but there it is.

Yoongi: Yoongi’s just got a lot of nice layering going on. First of all, the boots are awesome. Secondly, the cut of his pants is really nice, especially since he’s got boots on. The baggy sweater he has on is nice, as well, because of the holes in it--I understand that’s weird--but the part that makes his outfit look awesome to me isn’t even in the photo I was able to get. Yoongi’s got a plaid shirt around his waist that’s, like, sand colored, and it compliments his boots so well. Basically, the outfit was built around the boots, and I vibe with it.

Taehyung: I mean, all Taehyung is wearing is a white shirt, and denim jacket, combat boots, and what I believe are black jeans, but it looks so nice because of the specific pieces they are. For instance, the denim jacket is a really stunning shade that I don’t feel like I see enough, and it worked really well with the black jeans. It’s a simple outfit, but I love it because of the solid elements.

Dynamite

This was, without a doubt, the most interesting era of BTS’s wardrobe. Maybe you’d give that title to IDOL, DNA, or War of Hormone because those outfits were so song-specific, just like Dynamite, but the disco theme on these boys is a cultural reset. I think I can confidently say that, for me, the Dynamite era had the absolute best set of outfits as a whole. Every single era has had an outfit I don’t like, but every outfit in the Dynamite MV was fire.

Yoongi: I mean, look how cute he looks, you know? My man’s got a Space Jam jersey on for fuck’s sake; how can I not include this outfit? Real shit, though, the black and white sweatpants and shirt or whatever it is that Yoongi is wearing is so pretty. Like, the print on it is so pleasing to look at, and the cut and stitching of the top piece is super nice.

Jimin: I struggled between choosing this Jimin outfit and the denim outfit with the rainbow details, but I love Jimin’s bomber jacket so damn much. It looks like candy. Whether you think that’s weird or not is your business, but it’s colorful like candy, and it’s shiny like candy, so that’s what the outfit it. Also, he’s got those jeans on that you can tell are hella expensive because they look really nice, and I like those, too. Just as an aside.

Taehyung: This is the reason I’m making this post. This fucking green suit has lived in my mind rent free since I saw it. Whoever it was that put Taehyung in this suit deserves to rule the world because it’s such a focal piece. Legit, like, you put everyone else in loose shirts and denim, but you put Kim Taehyung in a green suit that makes him look like the richest man alive? How could it not be a focal piece? I could talk about Taehyung’s shoes, I could talk about the tan silk of the vest, I could talk about the striped tie, I could talk about Taehyung stunning blonde hair for this era that makes the outfit and the song even better for days. Just know this look is iconic, and it’s probably my favorite look on this list.

Life Goes On

So, I cheated for this one, but I also kind of didn’t. None of these photos are from the main MV because I couldn’t get good photos of these outfits from the main MV; however, these outfits are actually shown in the main MV, so it’s not really cheating. I just went to the other MV versions to get better pictures of them. Anyway, what a comfy vibe they went for with Life Goes On; I love it a lot since the song is what it is. It’s nice to have MV outfits that represent the song so well and play into how you take in the music.

Yoongi: It’s the pastel cardigan, for me, fam. I mean, obviously, the entire outfit is nice, what with the light wash jeans and the white tee. It’s just that the cardigan adds an interesting piece to it to make it less basic.

Jimin: It’s kind of the same thing with Jimin. Well, Jimin’s also got a bear on his shirt, so that’s adorable. Honestly, the violent green of his sweater is both appealing and not appealing, in a way, but I think that’s why I like it so much. It’s fuzzy and has nice texture to it, as well. Jimin definitely looked the most comfy of all the members in this outfit.

Taehyung: Why I love Taehyung in tan-and-white pajamas, I couldn’t say. I think it’s because the pajamas are already nice and have a nice pattern on them, but then you put a cozy looking cardigan on top of them, and it makes it look even better. Or do I like it so much because the cardigan is a solid color where the pajamas have a pattern? Whatever; Taehyung looks cute. That is all.

Film out

I’ll be honest: this era was hard to choose outfits from because everyone kind of looked the same since everything was almost entirely white sweaters and button downs. The outfits were all nice, it’s just that none of them stuck out that much. I mostly went for the outfits that looked the best as a whole rather than considering the individual pieces.

Jin: Jin looked the most unique out all the members; that’s for sure. I like that he’s wearing black pants, but I also really like the short-sleeve shirt he has on top of his white tee. Rather than it being a plain white outfit, the pants and the stripes made it look a bit more interesting.

Yoongi: Yoongi in a white suit always slaps. I don’t know; I like the suit because it’s not really a real suit. It’s a thinner fabric, so I guess it looks a bit more casual than a usual suit, and I like that a lot. Plus, Yoongi’s got some really pretty white shoes that he wears with it.

Taehyung: Of the sweaters and button downs in this MV, I liked Taehyung’s sweater the best. His is similar to Jungkook’s but Jungkook’s sweater was a bit darker, I think, and I like the shade of Taehyung’s. Plus, Taehyung’s got white shoes and white pants, which make the whole outfit look really beautiful. The textural difference between the pieces makes the difference, I think.

Butter

So, the queen came out and broke records. She also gave me a Taejin goldmine. Y’all, it’s not like the other members aren’t flirty as hell in Butter, but Taejin were absolute other beings. Anyway, I think the boys had something like five outfits for this MV? Mostly suits, but there were two sets of outfits that were odd but also fun. Those ones, I didn’t love, but suits are hard to choose from. These three are the ones that really stuck out.

Taehyung #2: I think it’s the shirt. I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what in the world is on it, but I like the texture. I liked JK’s suit in the beginning, too, but I think I liked the Taehyung’s lighter shirt a lot better. Otherwise, the two are close to the same. Oh, the sunglasses are a vibe, too.

Jin: Why has no one put Jin in yellow before now? Why did take a song about a yellow spread to put Jin in yellow? Honestly, of the yellow-detailed outfits at the end of the MV, I liked Jin’s the best because the yellow was used in a few, small places that popped rather than being too understated or overblown (no offense to Taehyung and Hobi’s yellow jackets). Like, Jin doesn’t have a tie, so it’s not blocking the shirt, the yellow stripes on his pants look so cool when he dances, and the pocket square is a nice detail. So, Jin looks good as fuck in this MV.

Taehyung #1: I was done for the second I saw Kim Taehyung in a bright orange suit. Taehyung is always the one that gets the suits like this, isn’t he? I mean, he can work it, though. The nude tie was a really gorgeous detail, I thought, because it didn’t retract from the suit at all. I guess the same can be said about the shirt, too. I don’t know, I just really love the entire package of Taehyung’s outfit in the leftmost picture.

Permission to Dance

This was such a cute little music video, and I thought the cowboy/Western theme was super fun since the boys have never done this concept before. I knew what my number one was gonna be from the teaser, but the last two were difficult to pick. I liked Yoongi’s outfit at the end of the MV, and I liked Jungkook’s outfit in the last frame (but there were no close-ups of it, unfortunately). Ultimately, I settled on what I did because I liked the details.

Jin: Sometimes I like simplicity, and Jin’s outfit was simple, but the gold paisley design on his pants--which are leather by the way; I know, absolutely criminal--is gorgeous. I also liked his boots a lot and the fact that his fringe was on his shirtfront pockets.

Taehyung #2: Initially, I had Namjoon’s first outfit in this list, but after watching the Permission to Dance MV way too many times, I ended really loving Taehyung’s all-red outfit. I liked the fringe on the legs, I like the fit of the slacks, I love the cut of the shirt, I love the way they styled this outfit, I like the boots, the accessories are awesome, and this outfit flatters Taehyung so damn much. Basically, even though it’s just red on red, it’s a damn good way to do red on red.

Taehyung #1: This fit is it, fam. It’s it on Taehyung specifically, and it’s it in general. Especially on Taehyung, though. That’s not what this is about. Anyway, the pieces of this outfit are really nice. The hat, surprisingly, fits this particular outfit really well. The denim wash on the shirt and the jeans look really nice together, and all the details--from the rips in the jeans to the bandana at the hips to the belt to the chain--were all things that made me think this outfit was awesome the moment I saw it. Not to mention the boots and accessories.

Alright, that’s it. I don’t know if you actually read this post or just looked at the photos (which, if you did the latter, I’m so sorry for the shitty screenshots.) If you have a favorite outfit, era, or set of outfits, let me know in the replies. And if you know the types of clothes these boys were wearing in any of these photos, I’d be interested in actually knowing what I’m talking about next time I talk about their clothes, so drop me some info. Anyway, thanks for reading!

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #kim taehyung #park jimin #jeon jungkook #min yoongi #kim seokjin #kim namjoon #jung hoseok

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binbrookfairqueen · 3 years

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The Homoerotic Subtext In Victorious: Jade and Tori

I’ve done a lot of nothing during quarantine. The same old same old, wake up at noon, eat something, find the homoerotic subtext in every straight film/show/video game I come across. Isn’t that how we all spend our afternoons?

It started with Taylor Swift, and the wlw undertones in all of her newest songs. Despite being in a long term relationship with a man, she penned lyrics like “those days turned into nights, slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long” and “what would he do if he found us out? he’s gonna burn this house to the ground,” So of course I went from hating on all of this straight media, to searching for queer scraps in the background of these art pieces. From the new summer Disney flick, Luca, to the characters in my newest copy of Red Dead Redemption 2 on Xbox One.

I always loved Victorious, it’s been one of my favorite shows since I was a child. The strange humor, the funny remarks. Always wondering why I liked the sassy, demanding Jade instead of the swoon-worthy womanizer Beck.

So, in quarantine, when I heard that Victorious was coming to Netflix, I re watched the entire show and couldn’t help but notice all of the queer innuendos, and rather flirty scenes between female actors. Of course- I’m not the first person to ever notice this. The homoerotic implied relationship between Tori Vega and Jade West had been shipped plenty of times and edited to oblivion by young, gay teens.

Since this is all news to me, I thought I’d go through every episode of Victorious and tell you what is gay about it, from a lesbian’s point of view.

Pilot

I never noticed how queer coded Victorious is, especially this very first episode. The sexual tension between the girls is almost too much, I have to drink some water every few minutes.

It’s clear to me that Jade is taking advantage of new girl Tori, and trying to establish her superiority because of her own fears and insecurities.

[Tori bumps into Beck, spilling coffee all over him] Tori: Oh my gosh! Beck: Ah, it’s cool Tori: No, here- I think it’s coming out. [Tori attempts to rub the coffee stain out of Beck’s shirt] Beck: You might be making it worse, actually. [Jade enters] Jade: Dude, why are you rubbing my boyfriend? Tori: I-I just spilled coffee on- Jade: Get away from him. Beck: Relax. [Beck kisses a reluctant Jade on the cheek]

Our very first introduction to Jade West is her making sure everybody knows Beck is her boyfriend. Multiple times throughout the episode, she cuddles up to him, picks him as her partner, and kisses him in front of the whole class. There’s a straight explanation to this, but there’s also a queer one. Jade is insecure in her attraction to girls and feels as though she needs to prove herself and everyone else that she does, in fact, like men.

Sikowitz: Jade, you will captain the first group of the day. Choose your actors. Jade: Cat, Eli, Beck, and Tori. Tori, why don’t you go wait in the hall? Tori: Uh, okay. Jade: I have great news that’ll cheer up this whole family. I went to the animal shelter and got us a dog. [Pulls Tori into the classroom by the arm] Tori: Uh, yep! I’m the new family dog. Woof. Jade: Uh oh, looks like this dog has bugs in her fur. [Jade strokes Tori’s hair] Tori: Uh, woof? Jade: Oh, it’s okay! I read on the internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs. Beck: Maybe you shouldn’t- Andre: Jade- [Jade dramatically pours the coffee on Tori’s head] Jade: What’s the prob, dog? [Tori runs out of the room, contemplating quitting Hollywood Arts]

Jade not only wants everyone to know that she’s straight, but she also wants everyone to know that she possesses a dominant personality, and isn’t afraid to get dirty. In this case, she does all that she can to make Tori’s day a living hell, all because she touched her boyfriend.

I don’t recall this as normal straight girlfriend behavior, there’s gotta be a fear of being outed rooted down deep in Jade’s bones- right?

The episode leads to a scene whereas the two girls are arguing, and there are only a few notable lines:

Jade: Just where did you come from? Tori: Kangaroos. Jade: Lousy animals, Kangaroos, they're awkward and dirty. Tori: Maybe they learned from you. [The classroom tenses, the girls getting more and more angry] Jade: No one talks to me like that. Tori: Obviously someone should. Jade: Please run in front of a bus! Tori: Quite obnoxious of you to say.

Jade: Really? Tori: Sure was.

Jade: Thanks. [Sarcastically]

Scenes get tense as the girls grow closer to each other, getting more and more upset.

But it’s also a lot like playing cat and mouse.

Day 1, Jade picks Tori for her team, day 2, Tori picks Jade for her team just to spite her. The submissive trying to declare dominance, whilst the real dom notices the attention seeking. When Jade says that no one speaks to her like that, and Tori proceeds to comment that someone should, a sexual tension is cast into the air. It’s obvious to any viewer.

The condescending flirtatious “Really?” Followed up by the bold “Sure was.” Is very queer coded. No one talks like that to someone they don’t find attractive. C’mon.

Author’s Conclusion: Jade feels the need to be angry and rude to anyone who threatens her heterosexuality. She possesses a fear of being outed, and does whatever she can to maintain a normal relationship with a man. But even her attraction to girls and her dominant personality can’t hide, as her actions reveal the closet to be made of glass.

Tori Goes Platinum

Tori: “Everyone else was coming to cheer you on, so... Figured I would, too. And you look way better in that than I would have.”

Jade: “This isn’t right. This was supposed to be your night. I can’t do that to a friend.”

- Jade is the most concerned person in the room when Tori begins acting differently after landing a gig at the Platinum Music Awards. Leading a class wide discussion, Jade discusses Tori’s change in behavior and provides her own evidence and proof to back up her statements. When Tori enters the classroom, Jade confronts her without hesitation, and seems to be the only person who cares enough about the pop stars well being. (Authors note: Only someone who truly cared about another would notice when they’re acting different and confront them to try and fix the problem...)

- When Tori refuses to wear the ridiculous outfits the record label provides, her opportunity to perform at the Platinum Music Awards is stripped away. Jade is asked to fill her place, and despite saying yes, she hesitates for a moment. These matter of seconds prove Jade has some kind of moral in her mind telling her that doing this would hurt Tori, and hurt their relationship.

- Beck and Tori don’t realize that they are still on video call with Jade, and the two almost kiss. Tori backs away, the following conversation takes place.

Beck: “Then why can’t we kiss?”

Tori: “Kissing your friends ex boyfriend...”

Beck: “Since when are you and Jade friends?”

Tori: “We’re kind of friends, I think. And kissing her ex boyfriend... I can’t do that to a friend.”

Despite the overuse of the word friend, this is still a sweet moment, and when Jade overhears this exchange, she realizes taking this opportunity away from Tori isn’t the right thing to do.

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girlsgonemildblog · 3 years

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It’s Sexist. The Commercial, The People, All of It. - Emily in Paris, Episode 3 Recap (Spoilers!!)

Poster from IMDB

Let’s begin with the obvious; Sexy or Sexist sounds like the title of a “think-piece” written for a college newspaper by a freshman who is just starting to learn about feminist critique and has yet to take any actual journalism courses. This terrible title isn’t helped by the fact that the characters say it no less than four times in the episode. Roll credits, and your eyes.

The amazing Kate Walsh reappears after being missing since the first scene of the first episode. Emily brags to Madeline about how amazing it is to work in Paris -- you know, the job Emily lowkey stole from her? Kind of rude, but not that I wouldn’t expect it from her. Also, apparently, they have urinals in the middle of the streets of Paris? I can’t imagine that’s correct, but I also don’t care enough to look it up. Feel free to let me know in the replies.

As Emily makes her way home after her run (Why is she always running? Who runs this much?), she stops to take a picture of three women smoking outside a gym. At this point, 90% of her Instagram feed is just her shaming people who are just living their lives. Mind your own business, Emily.

Emily’s water goes out, and we are once again reminded that she is a Karen because she yells at her super, despite the woman not speaking any English. Instant karma comes through, though, as she then has to wash her hair in her bidet. After that, she goes to a French class (which isn’t a very good one) and wears her worst, most touristy outfit yet -- a red beret and a handbag with the Mona Lisa on it. I shit you not.

After class, she runs into Sylvie on her way to work. Just as I was thinking that I need a Sylvie hair tutorial, Sylvie roasts Emily’s hair, as well as her shitty Instagram account. I’m beginning to stan Sylvie.

At work, her coworkers have been sent the “commandments” of her company back in Chicago, and they are rightfully angry about them. Imagine if your boss was like, “you can never be negative ever, no matter what.” That’s some bullshit. Especially when they phrase it in a kitschy, condescending tone of “thou shall not” or whatever. Fuck off.

Emily and Sylvie head to a commercial shoot, and the actual plot of the episode begins. Yes, it has taken this long to get to the plot, but don’t worry, it won’t last long. Somehow, Emily has gotten all the way to the actual shoot without knowing the concept of the commercial - a naked woman walking down the street as men ogle her. Thus begins a conversation between Sylvie, Emily, and Antoine about the male gaze and sexism versus sexiness. The entire premise of this episode is dumb because Paris exists in the same world as America and has the same internet that we do. They even had their own version of #MeToo, which is referenced in the episode, Balance Ton Porc, or “reveal your pig”. Nonetheless, the writers decided it would be believable that this commercial was being made in 2020.

During the conversation, Sylvie reveals that she doesn’t consider herself a feminist, making me like her a lot less. Also, Antoine basically gets Emily to give in by saying that desire is a sign of respect, and women wish for a look of desire from men, which made my blood boil. I promise, when I am walking down the streets of New York and some creepy man whistles at me, it feels a lot more like a nightmare than a dream.

Anyway, back at her apartment, Emily’s maintenance man cannot fix her shower and does not speak English, so Emily decides to make this Gabriel’s problem, despite barely knowing him. Because the maintenance man does not have the right part, she has to shower in Gabriel’s apartment. For some reason, she brings only a skimpy bathrobe and not a change of clothes for when she finishes, as one does when showering in a stranger’s apartment.

Later in the episode, the commercial is previewed for the team, and it sucks, sexist or not. It was like stock-footage vomit turned into a perfume ad. The group cannot decide if the commercial is sexist or not (it is), so they decide they’ll tweet it out with a poll and let their consumers decide. This may be the dumbest marketing strategy of all time, possibly topping the vaccine one from the previous episode. Why would you even suggest to your customers that your company is sexist? Like, where is the positive in that?

After work, Emily goes to a “dinner party” that Mindy is throwing in her employer’s apartment, without their permission. This is a ridiculously dumb thing to do, but it’s even dumber to throw an actual party party, which is, in fact, what Mindy does. Based on this show’s vibe so far, though, I doubt her actions will have consequences.

Emily arrives at the party carrying the same ugly bag from the last episode, only in a different color (colors?). She meets a man named Fabien, who I think we’re supposed to find attractive, but he’s not, and they leave the party together. The conversation between the two is horrible and awkward, even before Fabien tells her that he “likes American pussy.” Because pussy is unarguably the worst term for the vagina, Emily gets disgusted and leaves.

In the final scene, I was shocked to see Emily was wearing an actually cute outfitinstead of her usual monstrosity. To close the episode, in what seems to be an attempt to prove he isn’t sexist, Adrien sends Emily, a woman who works for him, lingerie. I sincerely hope the next episode starts with her suing him, but somehow, I doubt it.

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jeogiyall · 4 years

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𝐈𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐝𝐞; 𝒏.𝒚𝒕

⚓︎ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟷𝟺𝚔 (𝚒𝚔 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜)

⚓︎ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍, 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗋 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾; 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖿𝖾𝗋! 𝖺𝗎, 𝗒𝗎𝗍𝖺 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

⚓︎ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ: 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖿𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒! 𝗒𝗎𝗍𝖺, 𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗄𝗂𝖽! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝗁𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗂! 𝖺𝗎, 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒, 𝖮𝖢 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖽𝗂𝖾, 𝖺𝗋𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍, 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍 :) || ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗏𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗍, 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗈𝖽, 𝗍𝗈𝗑𝗂𝖼 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗒 𝗌𝗂𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀.

⚓︎ ᴀ/ɴ: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝖻𝖾 5𝗄 𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗇𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗋𝗈𝗅. 𝗂'𝗆 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝖻𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗌𝗈 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒 𝗂𝗍 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝖺𝖿𝗋𝖺𝗂𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾!! 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗆𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗇𝖼𝗍 𝖿𝗂𝖼 𝖺𝗁𝖺𝗁𝖺 <3 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝖺 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗂'𝗏𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖿𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗋𝗅 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗈 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖼𝗁 + 𝖺𝗋𝗂'𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌. 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒 𝗑𝗈𝗑𝗈! -𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

The first thing you do upon entering ‘Yuta and Johnny’s Surf Shack’ is wipe dried tears from your cheeks. It wasn’t that you weren’t beyond ecstatic to be spending a summer in Oahu, Hawai'i, you really were! It was just terrible to be there with your family, terrible to be anywhere with your family. Seriously, you had been on the island for a week and the closest you’d come to having fun was watching your dad golf. Your mother had called you selfish upon your complaint, so you grabbed your bike from the front lawn and left with nowhere to go.

It had been an hour of pedaling with salty tears falling down your cheeks before there was a sign of people actually living here. Before you stumbled upon the small complex of stores it was just ‘Discount Golf Cart Tours!’ and ‘Authentic Oahu Dining!’ but something about this place felt real. Maybe it was the sound of water sloshing on the stilts that supported each building, or the smell of mango wafting out of the fresh grocers, or perhaps the man selling pineapples in front of the surf shack who had fallen asleep face first on his booth, but something about this felt genuine. It also didn’t hurt that you had been wanting to try out surfing. You parked your bike next to the pineapple stand, taking extra precaution to not wake him, and entered the surf store.

The first thing you noticed was that your cheeks were still wet (hence the wiping,) followed by the smell of sunscreen and cedar wood. It felt like stepping through a portal, one that transported you to a place without overbearing mothers or artificial golf courses. You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply, entirely missing the tan boy perched on the storefront counter.

The boy in question was prepared to spill out the usual speech, ‘Welcome to Yuta and Johnny’s surf shack, I’m Yuta and am here to help with any of your needs. Are you interested in renting or purchasing today,’ but something about you made his voice stop working. He blames it on the way your head tilted back, like you were soaking in rays of sunshine, then inhaled deeply as if to take it all in. It seemed personal, fragile. Like it’d be criminal to impose. He doesn’t even consider speaking until you catch him.

“Um... Are you interested in a rental?” His voice was low and gravelly, laced with an accent. You laughed awkwardly, entire body going pink.

“That obvious, huh?” You felt like an idiot standing there in pinstripe pajama shorts and a tacky button up that’s a few (read: three) sizes too big. Clothes weren’t exactly on your ‘escape the mother’ agenda.

“Oh, no!” His eyes go wide as he takes in your outfit, “I mean now that you mention it yes, but that wasn’t what I meant at first. Sorry.” You almost see his cheeks turn red.

“It’s okay, I look ridiculous.” He chuckles a little bit, a low and warm sound. You think that he has a nice smile, “I’m actually just browsing today, but I’ll let you know if I need help.” You watch his hair bounce as he nods, it’s light purple and so long that it tickles the tip of his chin.

You doddle around the store for thirty minutes, pretending to look at surf equipment that you have no idea how to use. You almost ask the boy what’s what, but something clenching at your throat prevents you from speaking. In the end you buy a bottle of SPF thirty and a pineapple from the man out front (it feels like you should, seeing as he didn’t kick your bike off of his booth.) The ride home is tranquil and quiet, like a scene out of a movie.

“I want to try surfing.” You lament aimlessly while hugging a pillow. It’s been a week since your excursion to the surf shack, and it’s been on your mind ever since. The surfing, and also maybe the boy working.

“Why?” Maddie Prescot, your neighbor, best friend, and (conveniently) father's largest business partner's daughter, asks while plopping onto your bed, “It’s so scary looking! Like what if you fall off or something, there’s no one else out there with you!” You roll your eyes playfully at the worried expression spreading on her face.

“That’s like the whole point, y’know our dads can’t talk to us if we’re in the middle of the ocean.” The words come out casual, almost as if they weigh nothing. When you see Maddie’s face her eyes are wide and her jaw is dropped.

“I take it back, sign me up right now.”

(While you two laugh together you think about the first time you met Maddie, the summer spent in Europe. It was when your fathers had just started working together, and terribly miserable. Seriously, two fourteen year old girls forced to sit in stuffy dresses and eat small portions at restaurants where you had to speak softly. She had approached you after the first dinner right as your stomach grumbled lowly.

“Are you still hungry?” You nodded reluctantly, “Me too, let’s get food delivered back to our houses.”

“Oh, um, I don’t-”

“Dad! (y/n)’s sleeping over!” She called across the narrow, Italian street. It was a summertime friendship, yet in a way it meant so much more. Maddie was the first person that understood any part of your life, and despite the fact that during the school year she was an entire country away it always felt like you could talk to her. Even if it was about something dumb, she was always there. )

“Are we getting uber food after dinner?”

“Always!” She answers, smiling in a way that looks familiar, “I do have to go get ready though, see you tonight!” She exits the room in a flurry, leaving behind the scent of strawberry shampoo and a grin on your face.

“Oh my gosh Maddie-”

“Shush, you’re gonna wake up my parents!” Maddie chided, loading a glass plate with a pink bar of soap on it into the microwave. Your brain was certainly tired, but not tired enough to think this was a good idea.

“You’re trying to make something explode, but yes my convincing you to not explode things is gonna wake up your dad who’s two floors away!” She smiles brightly at your words while pressing the on button.

“I’m glad that we’re on the same page!” You groan, feeling gray hairs popping out of your scalp just from the sight of her.

“I swear being friends with you is like being a babysitter.”

"Hiding from the rain?” The boy at the counter asks. You immediately notice that it’s the same boy that was manning the counter the last time that you ran away to ‘Yuta and Johnny’s Surf Shack,’ except now his skin is even tanner. You inhale deeply while cringing at the wet clothes on your skin.

“If I was, I definitely failed, don’t you think?” You tease, motioning to the soaked hair on top of your head. He laughs, a sound that nearly warms up your wet limbs, and nods.

“Pretty miserably, let me get you a towel.” You’re about to tell him ‘No, don’t even worry about it! I’m fine!’ but a shiver runs down your body, and you want nothing more than to be warm.

“Please.” He giggles at the slight crack in your voice, you think that it’s the first time you’ve ever heard a boy giggle. It suits him, “So are you Yuta or Johnny?” You ask while the boy rummages beneath the counter.

“Guess.”

“Umm, Johnny?” When he resurfaces with a pink fuzzy towel in hand he’s wearing a hurt expression, like you just told him that you don’t like his hair. Not that you would ever say that. Much like giggles and wide smiles, long lilac hair suits him.

“How dare you?” Despite your best efforts you laugh, walking over to take the towel where he offers.

“Sorry, Yuta.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” You take the towel from his hands, still biting back laughter, “I’m just kidding. Sorry, I tend to do that too much, what can I help you with?”

“You’re not joking too much, and I’m not sure. Surfing, I guess.” His eyebrows furrow as he watches you wrap the towel around your body like a blanket.

“You guess?”

“Yea...” Your voice is tiny, confused. It makes something inside of him turn pink.

“And you’ve been on the island for how long?” Your response barely sounds like words, but he somehow manages to gather ‘three and a half weeks’ from your sullen mumbles, “Yea, we’re done guessing, come back next Wednesday. One work for you?” It feels like your head is literally made of rocks as you nod, “Okay. You’re learning to surf.” If it weren’t for the fact that they weren’t rolling around on the floor, you would’ve thought your eyes had popped out.

“Oh, thank you. How much?” He looks at you like you’ve grown a second head, “Like... How much should I pay you?”

“Don’t be goofy, that’s why we have Johnny. To be goofy.”

“Seriously, I can’t not pay you.”

“(y/n,) I want to do this.” His eyes are trained on you, they feel heavy.

“How do you know my name?”

“Back of your bike.” The fact that he already has the answer to everything makes your cheeks heat up. You don’t know if it’s in a crush way or in the job interview kind of way. Judging by his strong arms and honey skin you think that it’s crush kind.

“That’s kind of weird... Really weird.” You move to leave, but turn around one last time. He’s smiling at your back, and you know in that instant that he’s going to ruin your life “I’ll see you next Wednesday.”

His smile follows you out the door and to the pineapple booth, then all the way home.

Your mom questions why you always come home with an enormous pineapple. You fib through your teeth and tell her that you pick them off the side of the street. She doesn’t really buy it, you don’t either. It’s clear that she’s about to push harder, but then your father walks through the front door of the rental home and suddenly everything is about him. For the first time in your life you don’t really mind it. There’s something nice about having the surf shack (and Yuta) all to yourself.

“You’re going to fall off, that’s just how it works. Everyone falls.” Yuta reasons while staring at your panicked frame. Everything was going great with the lesson, right up until you saw Johnny (co-owner of the store, and resident gentle giant) get entirely wiped out on a huge wave. Now you’re sitting on the lavender colored surfboard (that you definitely didn’t choose because it matches Yuta’s hair. Definitely not) with trembling arms, “Besides, when you fall it won’t hurt as bad as when Johnny does it.”

“Why?” It’s genuinely obnoxious how high your voice shoots up.

“Because you’re not seven feet tall. You really don’t even need to worry about it right now, not like you’re catching any waves today anyways.” You cringe, the blue rash guard you got from their surf shack suddenly feeling too tight (you tried to buy it, but each time you moved to give Yuta the cash he would squeeze his eyes shut and pretend like you weren’t there,) “Seriously, just enjoy being out here.” He reaches out to grab your arm before realizing that his board is definitely too far away. He laughs, and you can’t help but join in. He has that effect on people.

When you two eventually paddle back to shore the sun is getting ready to set, casting a golden haze over everything. You think that the boy standing in front of you looks beautiful. It’s the first time a boy has ever been that to you.

“Thank you for my first ever surf lesson. It was really fun, but I sadly have to get going now.” Wet hair is tickling your chin, and you’re dreading explaining this to your parents.

“Alright, same time next week?” Your heart catches on the hook of his words, slowly unraveling into a useless ball of yarn.

“Yea.” The word feels like it weighs five thousand pounds. It gets heavier with every step you take towards your baby blue bike, parked up against the shabby pineapple stand.

“(Y/N!)” Yuta shouts, still standing on the white sand of the beach. For the first time all day you notice that he’s not the only person there.

“What?” You call back, voice uncharacteristically loud. Yuta also has that effect on people, pulling out the daring parts that shout across crowded beaches and lie to their parents.

“Can I get you dinner next time?” A smile erupts on his face as if it’s volcanic, there’s one on yours too. You think to yourself that his smile could fix everything bad inside of you.

“I’d love that!”

You wear his smile to sleep that night.

Four days after your first surf lesson your muscles are still sore. It’s not a normal kind of sore either, one where you can take an advil and get over it, of course it’s not. It’s the kind of sore that makes your muscles spasm at the most inopportune times ever. In example: right now, standing in front of Maddie’s entire family while sipping red wine that you weren’t supposed to have. The fact that your dress was white cotton didn’t help to ease your nerves.

“Are you okay?” Maddies oldest brother, Warner, asks you. You try to nod, then quickly give up after remembering where your pain was.

“Yea.” You exhaled, rolling your head backwards, “I’m just sore, it’s a pressure thing I guess.” He chuckles, low and crunchy. It makes your stomach churn, but not the same way that Yuta’s does.

“Can I ask you something?” Yuta asks while shaking water from his hair. You two were waiting for grubhub to arrive at the surf store with post surf lesson dinner. Yuta had taken to putting on dry clothes while you sat shivering on the counter, wrapped up in a fluffy towel.

“Depends.” There’s a small smile playing on your lips, immediately pulling a giggle from the tanned boy. You want to bottle up the sound and keep it tucked underneath your pillow.

“Why do you... Hold back so much?” You look at him as if you don’t know what he’s talking about. You do, obviously, you’ve been holding back for as long as you can remember, but it’s almost embarrassing that he’s noticed it “Don’t look at me like that, you know what I mean. Like... Like how whenever I make a joke you try to not laugh, why don’t you laugh? Not just that, but... That.” A part of you wants to not tell him, wants to keep Yuta and everything nasty inside of you completely separate. There’s a bigger part of you that gives into his dripping honey smile and blanket laugh.

“My parents sent me to a boarding school that’s really... Strict, I guess? I don’t know, it’s competitive and no one is friends with anyone. You’re literally my second friend ever, we are friends right?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, imagine if you had said no.” You pull wet hair off the back of your neck, suddenly feeling very dizzy, “Anyways, yes. My parents, like... They are also super strict. I’m always too loud, or too goofy, or too serious, or just... Just too much. Too much.” You mean to keep talking, but your voice gives out as tears stream down your face. Yuta doesn’t notice for a second, but as soon as he does you have strong arms wrapping around your shoulders.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry!” He coos while squeezing you tight. If you weren’t bawling into his chest you would think about how this is the first real hug you’ve gotten in months, “Oh gosh! You’re gonna get sunscreen in your eyes, here! Use my shirt!” He’s shoving his shirt into your face, and if you weren’t crying out basically every frustration that you’ve ever had, it would be kind of funny. You wipe the tears out of your eyes, then the sunscreen from your forehead, and then you just hold the fabric.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” You sob, clenching onto his (once) dry shirt, “It’s the first time I’ve ever talked about it, a-and I ruined your shirt, and I’m so sorry!”

“S’okay. You’re okay.” He makes the words feel true, holding you in a way that no one ever has. It’s a clingy kind of hold, one that doesn’t let up until his phone dings. He keeps an arm slung around your shoulder while reading the lit screen, “Food is here, why don’t you go put on some dry clothes?” You rub the sticky tears from your cheeks while shaking your head lightly.

“I didn’t bring any, my parents would’ve asked where I was going and then I’d have to-” He brings up one hand to cover your mouth while the other one fishes under the counter. You think this is the nicest way that anyone has told you to shut up.

“Borrow mine.”

The shirt falls to your mid-thigh, so you don’t even bother with his shorts. (With how tiny that boy's waist is, the shorts probably wouldn’t fit anyways.) He spends dinner cracking jokes just to make you laugh and staring at your profile when he thinks you’re not looking.

“Okay,” You manage through dad joke induced laughter, “I really do have to get going now. Sun’s starting to set, and I don’t have a helmet light.”

“I’d pay to see that.” He helps you gather up your trash and walks you to the door, which is only two seconds away from where you were previously, “I’m gonna say something, and I hope I don’t make you cry again, so I’m telling you that I’m gonna say something.” You smile, playfully rolling your eyes. It’s ridiculous to you how easy it all feels.

“It wasn’t your fault I cried, it’s just because-”

“Okay talking now!” Laughter floats in the space between your bodies as he smiles shyly, “I think you’re really sweet. Like, the way that you buy a pineapple from Mr. Kahale every time you leave, or how you still try to buy stuff from me, or... The way that you laugh at all my jokes? Even the ones that really aren’t funny, you still laugh. I think that makes you sweet, and you’re also funny, and sarcastic, and hardworking... And not too much. Never too much.”

The words scratch into the back of your eyelids, and you read them in between every blink.

“Hey Johnny!” You chirp upon entering the surf shack. It’s half past noon, but you doubted that anyone would send you packing for showing up too early.

“(y/n,) hi! Come on in, can I get you a cup of coffee?” The tall boy asks, already turning around to prepare the mug. Honestly? You had already made a cup early in the morning and two cups would definitely make you jittery, but Johnny was so eager that you let him go ahead.

“Sure, go ahead. No sugar and four creams, please.” You assume your usual position on the checkout counter while Johnny plugs in the Keurig machine. Words float out of his mouth and around the room, never quite hitting your ears. It’s not that he’s boring, just that something feels off, “Hey, where’s Yuta?” The boy rolls his eyes exasperatedly, knowing fully well that you didn’t hear a single thing that he said.

“He’ll be here soon. Didn’t come in this morning since it’s his day off and all; here’s your coffee!” Johnny sees something on your face, written in furrowed eyebrows and down turned lips, “Don’t worry, he’s still coming in for your lessons!” You take the cup, head swimming with tan skin and hair that’s a little too long.

“I didn’t know it was his day off.” Johnny smiles brightly, exhaling a laugh.

“Wednesdays have always been his off days, well until recently. He comes in to teach you but that’s it.” Your cheeks turn bright pink, spreading quickly down your neck, “You know, he told me that- Yuta! Welcome home!” Something rises in your chest at Johnny's unspoken words, only to crest when you see the boy in question's beautiful smile (the one that reaches everything around him and paints it into something pretty.)

“Hi (y/n)! Happy to see you!” And that’s when it crashes in a big mess of soft smiles and snotty confessions. You want to tell him that he’s the second person that’s ever listened to you, that he’s the only boy that’s ever made you smile. You want to tell him that pieces of him live in your head, coming up in the moments where everything is too hard to handle.

The only words that manage to squeeze out of your throat are, “You too, ready to start?”

If his bright laugh was any indicator, then he certainly got the message.

“Sweetie, why is your face sunburned?” Your mother asks while dumping eggs on your plate. The burn across your nose was from staying out just a little too long with Yuta, but obviously she could never know about that. Instead you shrug, pretending like you didn’t even know it was there.

“Don’t know, sun’s bright I guess.” Her eyes narrow, and you know from eighteen years of stretching the truth that she doesn’t buy it. A groan (partnered with dread) rises in your throat at the idea of trying to dig your way out of this, just like you had to last week when she asked about your wet hair. This whole lying thing used to be so easy, something that just rolled off your tongue, but upon realizing that people can make you smile and that life can be enjoyed you always get terrible cottonmouth whenever you need to lie. A small part of you knows that it’s because you don’t want to lie about being happy, that you want someone to tell everything to, but a bigger part wants to stay in the dark.

“You lie like a cheap carpet.” She teases, voice twinging with a southern accent that she never had. It almost makes you want to tell her, then you think back to your last summer roller derby practice. When you had scraped your knee open. Your mom had been shocked after seeing the blood that stretched from the bottom of your thigh to the middle of your calf, but that was all replaced when you told her where it was from. Within twenty minutes you learned every synonym for ‘irresponsible’ that there was

(”I do everything around this house and this is how you repay me?! By getting injured, and oh I don’t know lying?!” You had cringed at her harsh words, right leg still aching with pain.

“I’m sorry!” You sobbed out, praying that the high ceilings of your kitchen would crash down on your head.

“I’m sure you are, God (y/n) do you even know what it’s like to run a household?! I am exhausted, and you’re running around and hurting yourself?!”

“Well maybe you wouldn’t have to ‘run the household’ if your stupid fucking husband would ever come home and raise his child! And maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to keep things from you if you didn’t react like this!” Tears trickled down your mother's cheeks, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. You had been crying first, anyways.

“To your room.” Her jaw was clenched so tight that even water wouldn’t be able to slip through it, “Now!”

You had run up the stairs and into your room as fast as possible, then proceeded to slam the door and hurl your skates into a bookshelf. Needless to say, you never got to go back to derby.)

“I’m not lying, mom.” You breathe out, shoveling the last bit of scrambled eggs into your mouth, “I’m going over to Maddie’s, see you at the dinner party tonight!” Her gaze follows you out the door, sitting on your shoulders and swallowing you like a denim jacket.

You checked the time on your phone for the fourth time in the past ten minutes, only to groan upon realizing that not even a minute had passed since the last time you checked. Maddie had been getting the food for around fifteen minutes, and while the grubhub delivery boy was probably tripping over his tongue at the flirting that was definitely going on, your stomach was starting to grumble. It’s starting to sound violent

“Hungry?” A gravelly voice asks from behind you, causing hair to prick up on the nape of your neck before realizing that it’s just Warner.

“You shouldn’t scare people like that! Especially when they’re sitting on the ledge of a balcony!” It feels like your mother crawls out of your mouth, so you close it harshly and swallow before even considering speaking again, “And yes, extremely. Maddie’s supposed to come back up with the food, but she’s been gone for fifteen minutes.”

“Yea,” He chuckles while sliding onto the balcony railing, it makes you think of Yuta’s soft giggles, “she’s flirting with the delivery boy.” A heavy breath runs down your cheeks while eyes roll into the back of your head.

“How did I know?” When he laughs a hand brushes on your thigh, then stays there. Your cheeks turn red, but it’s more of an embarrassed blush. Not the innocent sunrise blush that Yuta paints your body with. You stare at his hand, begging for it to move. It never does, “(y/n,-)”

“I have t-to go. I have to go check on Maddie.” The way your body stumbles over the railing and through the French glass doors is embarrassing, but you don’t care. You’d trip over a million banana peels if it got rid of Warners expectant gaze.

It follows you down the hallway, through one living room, and into a stairwell, only leaving when Maddie bumps into you with a loud ‘oomf!’

“Hey honey, where are you going?” Her voice is so sweet, like the way someone would talk to a puppy. With anyone else it’d be patronizing, but with Maddie it feels like home.

“Warner like... touched my thigh, but it wasn’t a big deal. Just made me uncomfy.” She smiles sympathetically, knowing fully well that this wasn’t her brother's first time leaving a girl feeling like this.

“He’s an asshole.” The blunt words look funny coming out of your friend's soft face, so you laugh.

“Yea.”

“Let’s eat, I’m starved.” You think to yourself that you’ll never find a person like her, before nodding and falling in line behind her.

The first time that you manage to catch a real wave, not the baby ones that Yuta made you ‘ride’ right by the shore, you feel so free that you could cry. The wave is at least six feet tall, but in your head it feels much taller. Like something that could swallow you whole, but also something that you told not to. And something that listened.

You don’t even know what to do with all of the energy coursing in your veins, so you do nothing. Just let it fester while riding the wave, exactly the way that Yuta taught you. With feet planted strongly in the center of the board, everything smelling like salt water, and a huge smile spreading across your face. Although you don’t see him, Yuta is cheering from the sand, which is exactly where you go once the wave breaks.

You start to run to the boy, adrenaline still writhing in your body, but the running stops as soon as you pummel face first into the shin deep water. Perhaps running with something attached to your ankle isn’t the smartest move, but you’re too high to care. It’s all you can do to not burst out laughing at yourself.

“Are you okay?!” Yuta asks as his arms materialize beneath you. His eyes are slightly worried, causing a ridiculous contrast to your wild ones.

“Never better, did you see that?!” He barely has you out the water before you’re bouncing around again.

“What, you cleaning the ocean floor with your face or-”

“Don’t be a butt!” You tease while flicking his temple, “Did you see it?!”

“Of course I did! I was cheering and everyth-” Your lips are on his. You’re standing in the water of a Hawaii beach, and kissing Nakamoto Yuta. You’re (y/n,) who just rode a six foot tall wave, and you are kissing Nakamoto Yuta. You are kissing him, and he tastes like sun drenched honey. There’s nothing that could make this feel real, not even if someone came up and pinched you.

Even as his tongue swipes over your lower lip, even as his hand comes up to cradle your jaw, even as your hands tangle in the ends of his long hair. Nothing could convince you that this isn’t a dream. Maybe it’s the way that Yuta kisses like he needs it to survive, or how he’s listening to you despite the fact that no words have been exchanged, or maybe even how the waves are crashing you endlessly closer to him. Everything about his mouth on yours is far too good to be true.

“Was that okay?” You exhale, hot breath fanning against the boys cheeks, “I mean like, that I kissed you?” Everything feels hazy as your eyes focus in on his giddy smile. You think to yourself that his smile rivals every sunset that you’ve ever seen.

“Yes.” He responds, chest heaving, “Yea, it’s okay.” He rests his forehead against yours as a wave brushes the hems of your rash guards.

“Did you really see?” Something in your voice sparkles, it makes Yuta’s heart stop.

“I see everything that you do. The sharp inhales, the way your head tilts back when you enjoy something, the way you smile when Johnny offers you coffee. I’m starting to think that the only reason I have eyes is to look at you.” The words ricochet around your head, leaving your eyes watery and heart heavy.

“Yuta?” You ask before swallowing hard. There’s a hand tangled in his lilac hair, the other cradling the back of his neck. He thinks to himself that he could die like this and still be happy, “I’m going to kiss you again.”

“Okay.” He answers. The word feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, and also like you could lift it with your pinky..

There were three times in your life where you felt peace. The first time was a week spent in Spain with your boarding school, everyone stayed together in a hotel with a huge open air courtyard. You had spent each day out there amongst the plants, doing nothing except for school readings and breathing in the fresh air.

The second time was your first sleepover with Maddie. She had ordered Chinese and rented some Italian film that you can’t remember the name of anymore. She was the first person to listen to you about anything, and even though it was over something as simple as beef or chicken lo mein and what movie to watch, it felt nice. You remember falling asleep that night feeling like your heart was full.

And the third time was now, sitting on your board past where the waves break with Yuta. You’re about to paddle back to shore, but for now the boy is just basking in golden sun and splashing water at you.

“Stop!” You cry out, holding up one hand uselessly, “If I fall off you’re coming with me!” He smirks playfully, splashing the water even harder.

“Good, then maybe I can kiss you.” Something in your heart clenches at his childlike smile, and you almost understand the want to be pushed into the ocean just so you can kiss his honey lips.

“Come on, let’s head in.” As the two of you roll in with the evening tide, you can’t help but think that no one will ever make you happy the way that he does.

Despite growing closer with both shop owners, entering the surf shack still manages to transport you to a new planet. It’s like there’s nothing in the world that can brace you for the smell of bananas and fresh cut wood, or the sight of Johnny beaming from behind the counter while Yutas legs dangle from his perch. It’s nothing special, but in a way it is. At least to you.

“(y/n!)” They both cheer, Yuta sliding quickly off the counter while Johnny starts up the keurig.

“Four creams?” Johnny asks as Yuta presses a loud kiss to your tanned cheek. The taller boy pulls a face of disgust, so you giggle and push the sweet boy away.

“Yea, please!” Yuta is still trying to kiss your face, his tan arms wrapping around any part of you that he can reach, “Yes, hi Yuta, I’m excited to see you too! Now, stop being gross.” You and Johnny both chuckle while Yuta pouts, pressing one last kiss to your temple.

“I like being gross.” He grumbles, returning back to his spot on the counter. You follow close behind and ruffle a hand in his lilac hair.

“We know.”

“No matter how hard he tries, he will never be as gross as keurig coffee.” Johnny states, head shaking solemnly. Yuta busts out laughing and pushes his friend's shoulder.

“I like keurig coffee!” You protest, causing Johnny to chuckle while Yuta continues to giggle. You accept the mug from Johnny when he hands it to you, and everything feels so regular that it hurts.

It’s another breakfast spent shoveling runny eggs into your mouth in hopes to leave before your parents bring up any taboo topics, except this time something is off. Your father is actually here, for starters, then add that to the part where him and your mother are staring at you as if they’re waiting for an answer and you end up with a churning feeling in your gut. Your mother's eyebrows haven’t relaxed since you sliced up the pineapple.

“Sweetie, have you ever considered dating?” The words are so unexpected that you choke, a hand flying to your glass of water.

“Excuse me?” You wheeze, cheeks flushing bright pink. She’s going to ask about Yuta, you just know she’s going to ask about him. It was the love bite that gave it away, the one in the hollow of your throat. You knew he shouldn’t have done it, but there were no real thoughts in that moment. Just his lips and your skin.

“Oh, you know, just going out to dinner. Seeing a movie, you know plenty of nice boys right?” The words are swimming through your head, pushing hard into the back of your eyes.

“I don’t think I understand-” Your response is choked, your throat clenching around each syllable that comes out.

“Like um... Cameron, the boy you did that group project with? Or Donny, the one who ran for class President?” You nod slowly, waiting for the final blow, “Or Warner! Why don’t you date Warner?”

“Warner?” You don’t have to play dumb anymore, you actually have no idea what she’s talking about. Aside from the relief that no one knows about Yuta, confusion washes over you.

“Yea!” She chimes, hands clapping together, “He’s so sweet and smart, and I think he’s kinda handsome, right?” All you can think of is the way his eyes peeled you apart in the worst way possible, like you owed him something. Like it didn’t matter that you didn’t want his hands anywhere near you.

“Um, yea. Warner’s sweet.” The words taste like bile coming up your throat, “I have to go now, see you guys later.” You run out of the house like your heels are on fire, and the only way to put them out is to get as far away from their expectant stares as quickly as possible.

“Yuta, come on! I told you, no more love bites!” You groan, pulling him away by the hair.

“But I know you like them so much!” He pouts, moonlight cascading through the shop windows and across his tanned face. Tonight had been a dinner party night, which meant that right now you should be at Maddie’s house. Except for the fact that she had a secret date with the grub hub delivery boy.

(“I’m so sorry, please don’t tell anyone!” She had pleaded, eyes growing wide and watery. You always thought it was ridiculous how she could make herself cry on command. No one person should have that much power.

“So long as you don’t tell anyone that I’m sneaking out too.” Her eyes (now entirely void of tears) widened, one hand reaching out to push your shoulder while you giggled shyly.

“Who are you and what have you done with (y/n?!)”

“... Nothing?”)

“I do, but I think my mom saw…” His pout expands into a smile while your cheeks turn bright pink. A giggle slips past his lips as he rests your foreheads together.

“Really?” The boy whispers, as if you’re not the only other person in the room.

“Yes!” You laugh back, “Stop laughing at me!” The words just make him laugh harder.

“I’m sorry, it’s just funny!” Your eyebrows furrow as you stick your tongue out at him, making him smile even brighter, “Come on, don’t be mad at me! Honey, don’t be mad at m- mmph!” The words (and teasing) stop as soon as your lips collide, swallowed by something hot and needy. You think to yourself that his lips taste like honey, then that you’d give anything to kiss him for forever.

“Yuta,” You breathe out, trying to get the boys attention. It doesn’t work, his lips stay on yours, “Yuta!”

“Yea?” He asks, pulling back so little that his lips brush yours upon moving.

“I love you.” The smile on his face is worth a thousand dollars. You want to kiss it, so you do.

The action is slow and fueled with passion, him whispering ‘I love you too’ against you any chance that he can get.

A long time ago you decided that the only good thing about dinner parties was the fact that you got to get ready for them. Last week you wore your favorite blue dress, the one with ruffles on the sleeves, and a petite golden chain (which ended up on the checkout counter of your boyfriends store. You’re ninety percent sure that he took it home.) Yuta had nearly lost his mind when you stumbled into the store looking like that, with high heels dangling from your fingertips.

This week was something slightly different, seeing as it was something that your mother insisted on. A form fitting white dress with detailed embroidery around the waist. You found it to be repulsive, but it matched your favorite pearls so you let her go ahead and take it to the dry cleaners.

“Sweetie, I’m coming upstairs with your dress in ten minutes!” She hollers up the stairs. You clamp the pearls quickly, then throw your electric blue rash guard into the closet.

“Okay!” You respond, opening up the makeup drawer of your desk.

She enters the room quietly and hangs the dress on your closet door. You were hoping it would get less ugly the more you looked at, but it was turning out to be quite the opposite. It really just looked like a bad ice skating costume.

“It’s sad to think that we’ll be leaving in two weeks, isn’t it?” You hum in agreement while taking a brush to your eyelid. This talk is barely something that phases you anymore, seeing as you’ve already discussed everything with Yuta. Leave for two months, take your gap year on Oahu, and then apply to all of the local universities that you can, “We have to go back to the real world, with all of the responsibilities.” The way she’s talking feels rehearsed, as if she’s been waiting to say this to you for a long time.

“... Yea?” Her smile is so sweet that you barely believe it’s hers.

“But you don’t have many of those right now, do you? Nothing but enjoying your gap year and-”

“Mom, can you just tell me whatever you’re trying to say?” You snap, the brush clattering out of your hand and onto the glass top of the vanity. She slides down onto your unmade bed, hands making fists in the fabric of her skirt while she swallows heavily.

“You’re not going to like it very much.” It feels like your tongue is made of cotton again.

“Tell me. Please.” Her lower lip quivers, causing your stomach to clench even tighter.

“Do you remember when we spent the summer in Europe with the Prescot’s?” You nod slowly, remembering your very first encounter with Maddie, “And your father spent the entire time negotiating with Mr. Prescot?” You nod again, vividly remembering all of the lonely nights spent pretending to be asleep while your father stumbled home drunk off of wine.

“Yea, but he decided to go along with it because dad offered him a huge share of the income.” She looks at you as if you didn’t finish the sentence, “Right?”

“Right... Mostly right.” You inhale deeply, hoping for a breath of fresh air. You don’t get it, the entire room smells like a thunderstorm, “They also reached an agreement regarding you.”

“W-what?” She reaches out to hold your hands, you’re so confused that you let her.

“Your father and Mr. Prescot agreed that when you turn eighteen, and Warner twenty, that you two would become e-engaged to be-” The realization settles in right as your pearls begin to tighten. She keeps talking, saying things like ‘legal,’ and ‘sweet boy,’ but you feel nothing. Nothing other than your pearls tightening, suffocating you slowly but surely. They tighten like a vice, and you’re sure that you’ll never breathe again.

“W-when?” Your words are small and pathetic, one hand reaching up to grasp the dainty necklace.

“We’re announcing it tonight, I-I’m... I’m gonna leave you alone to process.” She squeezes your hands one last time, then leaves, “And please do a little bit of makeup, there’s going to be photographs. We don’t want to see your splotchy skin, do we?” With that she’s gone, door shut tightly and room silent.

Something pounds heavily against your skull, turning everything blurry. The only thought you can register is that you have to vomit, now. It takes everything in you to stumble towards the en suite, but once you get there your body knows exactly what to do.

There’s cold tile on your exposed knees as you empty the contents of your stomach into the ivory toilet. You vomit for nearly forty minutes, pulling at the suffocating pearls the whole time. The strand almost snaps, you barely even care.

Your head feels empty, like you puked out every thought and anxiety until you were just a shell of a person. A shell of a person who was engaged to Warner Prescot, and not Nakamoto Yuta.

The dinner party feels more like a trip to the aquarium, but you’re the fish. You and Warner sit at the head of the table, his hand taking home on the small of your back (he wiggles his fingers far too much, which sends the worst kind of shivers down your spine,) and everyone is staring. It makes you wonder how many people knew about this before you did.

When Warner stands to announce the engagement you almost vomit again. Maddie looks at you, her eyes screaming “I’m so sorry.” You ask her to help, to get you out of here. She looks away. It feels like there’s no air left to breathe, you think that even if there was you wouldn’t inhale. You want to suffocate, you want to stop existing. You want the carpeted floor of this high scale restaurant to swallow you whole.

Most of all, you want Yuta.

It’s half past eleven when you barge through the doors of the surf store, and Yuta’s leaning against the counter. There’s lilac hair falling in his eyes, painting the picture of not having a care in the world.

“(y/n!)” He beams, heart clenching tightly, “You look beautiful baby- baby? What’s wrong?” You don’t know what it was, maybe the stress of everything. Maybe the taste of vomit that was stuck in your throat, despite brushing your teeth ten times. Maybe the feeling of Maddie’s sad eyes telling you that there was nothing she could do to help, but you start bawling.

They’re ugly, wet sobs that shake you from your toes to your shoulders. You’re on the floor, hands gripping your hair so hard that it hurts. Yuta’s rushing over to you, and you can’t even bring yourself to look at his face.

“What do you need me to do?” He asks, voice soft and warm and painfully comforting.

“Hold me.” You whimper, suddenly afraid that if you say anything else your voice will give out and you’ll be nothing but a sobbing mess. A sobbing mess who’s engaged.

So Yuta holds you, and holds you, and holds you. It’s a loving touch, one that wants nothing for him. A touch that gives endlessly, with warm skin and heaving chests. His fingertips brush your shoulder while his lips kiss the shell of your ear.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers, causing your heart to clench violently. You grab his face, hoping that if you kiss him he’ll stop asking questions. He doesn’t go for it, “Sweetie stop, tell me what’s wrong.” You don’t want to tell him, you’d rather plunge yourself face first into the ocean than tell him. Something about telling Yuta makes this real.

“It’s nothing,” He knows that your eyes are too sad to be telling the truth, “I just love you.” You sob out, collapsing once again onto his shoulder. His hand strokes your hair while your back shakes.

“I know, I love you too.” You wonder if this last time that you’ll feel like those words are true, “I love you too.”

Ever since the start of your engagement (a week and a half) you’ve been running out of the house as early as possible, not even bothering with the under cooked eggs. The days find you in different places, usually at the surf shack or trying to catch some waves, but never home. And never with Warner.

Today you’re on the checkout counter, slicing up pineapple with a knife that you probably shouldn’t have and passing it to your friends. Yuta is tending to a customer, a poor sunburned guy well into his thirties who’s trying to buy a board, while Johnny smiles and taps away on his phone. It’s not the usual smile, goofy and carefree, now he’s beaming like he has to outshine the sun. He almost does.

“What’s got you so happy today?” You ask, passing him a paper plate with perfect cubes of pineapple. That was one of the best things about Mr. Kahale’s booth (other than the fact that you’re still allowed to park there,) you’ve become a pro at cutting up the fruit. Yuta always asks you to cut his into stars.

“Nothing.” He answers, giddy smile threatening to crack his face. He knows that you don’t buy it.

“People don’t smile like that over nothing, Johnny.” There’s a nervous laugh, then he pops a cube into his mouth.

“Well, I do.” You roll your eyes so hard that it almost hurts, then return to cutting up the pineapple.

“He’s texting his girlfriend.” Yuta interjects, pressing a kiss to your temple while thumbing through a stack of cash. You were so busy trying to pull an answer out of Johnny that you didn’t even notice him closing the sale.

“Girlfriend?!” You gasp, laughing at the way his cheeks turn pink, “Tell me more!”

“Her name is Maddie.” Your stomach drops as Johnny bites out his answer, but it’s probably nothing. There are thousands of girls named Maddie, right?

“Just wait until you hear how they met!” Yes! How they met! Maddie’s going out with the grubhub delivery boy, Johnny works here.

“How did you meet?” Your voice tries to give you away, so you continue to cut up the pineapple. Maybe if you focus on this they won’t pick up on your uneven breathing.

“Well I was doing a late night delivery, for grubhub?” Oh no, “I guess I never mentioned that I do that. Anyways, it’s like half past midnight and I pull up to this huge house, like seriously the biggest house I’ve ever been to, and this girl opens the door. We talked for like twenty minutes before she took her food, but just as she was about to go inside I grabbed the bag and wrote my number on it.” Okay, so that’s definitely Maddie. Johnny is definitely dating Maddie, but this isn’t the end of the world. They know Maddie, but that doesn’t mean that they know about you. They probably don’t even know that she has a friend who happens to be engaged to her brother.

“And she has this friend, Johnny what’s her name?” Oh no, oh no, oh no. You can feel Yutas eyes boring into your skull.

“I don’t think she’s said, but (y/n) this story is just... Insane, really.” Maybe she just told him about the time that you tried to backflip into her pool when you were nine and nearly broke your neck. That’s probably all that it is, “She’s engaged to Maddie’s brother! It’s some ridiculous arranged marriage plot with their parents companies, it’s like a tv show!” There is no air left in the room, and you briefly think that you’re going to pass out. He keeps talking but you can’t hear. You don’t know if you want to hear, for some reason hearing Johnny talk about how insane it is reminds you that it’s terribly insane.

“Shit!” You cry out as your knife slips away from the fruit and then across the skin of your thumb. There’s blood, but you barely even feel it over the lump in your throat. Johnny’s getting you a napkin, Yuta’s cradling your hand. It feels like you're going to pass out, you think if you don’t leave then you’re going to fall onto the floor and pass out, “I have to go outside.” Yuta’s mouth moves, but there are no words. No words as you stumble out the door and down to the beach, or as you gasp for air and collapse onto the hot sand.

You sit there for at least twenty minutes, cradling your bleeding thumb and watching the waves retreat, before Yuta materializes next to you. He’s holding a band aid while wearing a concerned expression.

“Let me see your hand.” Suddenly he’s holding your hand, wrapping up the cut and then pressing a kiss to the inside of your palm. It makes your heart feel watery, or your eyes. You’ve kind of lost track at this point, “Will you please tell me what’s wrong? You show up to the shack at midnight and just start bawling, which is fine! I don’t mind, but you’ve been off ever since then. It’s like, the only time I’ve ever felt helpless, I don’t know how to help because I have absolutely no idea what’s wrong, a-and-”

“I’m Maddies friend.” He’s about to laugh, but then he sees your tear streaked cheeks. You don’t even know when you started crying, “I’m Maddies friend, a-and I have to marry her brother, who I hate! And my parents didn’t even tell me until the night they announced it to all of the business partners, how fucked up is that?!” There’s something breaking in your chest, Yuta thinks he feels it too, “I mean, how fucked up is all of this?!”

“You’re engaged?” The words make you laugh, which is probably inappropriate. It is inappropriate, but you can’t even make yourself care.

“Yes, and I hate him. And I love you.” His hands are buried in his lilac hair, it reminds you of the first time that you kissed.

“Can’t you say no?” You want to say yes, say that you can leave everything behind and be nothing but his. Be nothing but yours, but there’s something clamping down on your tongue. He watches as your jaw tightens and a fresh set of tears fall down your cheeks, “Okay, I get it.” And then he’s leaving, and you know nothing other than the fact that you want him to stay.

“Yuta!” It sounds like you’re begging, in a way you are.

“I have to go!” You sit on the beach sobbing for hours, or minutes. Everything around you turns gray, and you think that this is just the perfect start to the rest of your life.

Maddie is lying on her bed and speaking into her phone when you find her. Her eyebrows are furrowed, eyes full of crystal tears that won’t fall. You can only assume that she’s talking to Johnny.

“Yea she’s here, I have to go. See you tomorrow, bye bye.” The words were quiet, her voice trembling, “He’s telling Yuta that you’re with me.”

“Oh.” The sound is pathetic; all broken, and watery, and tired. You want to cry again, but there are no tears left. Just a hollow feeling returning to your chest.

“(y/n,) I’m so sorry. I was sorry before,” There’s a heavy silence, one that expects you to say something. Or do something, but you can’t. There’s no energy left anywhere in your body, it’s a miracle that you’re still standing, “but this is just... I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The words come out of your mouth, but you can’t feel your mouth move. You can’t feel anything other than Maddie’s sad eyes.

“No, it’s not. Come sit down.” She pats her white comforter, your legs carry you there, “Have you told anyone?”

“No.” The word tastes sour on your tongue.

“Do you want to tell me about him?” Her hand is in between your shoulder blades, offering a comfortable weight. You think of how hard it’s been to keep this all from Maddie, of how many times you considered spilling everything.

“Yes.” Your entire body relaxes with a sigh, Maddie smiles at the feeling.

“Tell me everything.”

You tell her about his smile that outshines every star in the sky, about his beautifully sun kissed skin. You tell her about the way he pushes Johnny’s shoulder whenever the taller boy made a bad joke, and the time that you two paddled past the waves and he splashed water at you. She giggles, then asks to see a picture. You immediately know the perfect one.

(”(y/n,) pose with me!” Yuta cheered, voice growing closer. You turned, board still in hand, to be greeted with the sight of Yuta running at you while holding your phone.

“Wait, I’m not ready!” Before you could protest anymore there was a wet kiss on your cheek and the clicking sound of your camera ”You’re too much.”

“Yea, but you love me anyways.” He had pecked your lips, then the tip of your nose, then your forehead. It made something happy bubble in your stomach.

“I do, I love you so much.”)

“We had just finished surfing, that’s why we look like... That.” Your phone glares at you, flaunting yours and Yuta’s tanned skin. There’s two pictures where he’s not kissing you, just staring with lovesick eyes. It makes your heartbeat stutter.

“I’m so sorry, (y/n.)”

“Yea,” you sigh, “me too.”

It’s not exactly clear how your bike ride turned into you sitting in front of ‘Yuta and Johnny’s Surf Shack.’ It’s not like you were trying to come here, you just wanted to see the island one last time before leaving tomorrow, that’s all. But you ended up here, with a heaving chest and a dry mouth.

Something carries you off your blue bike, then parks it against Mr. Kahale’s pineapple stand, then makes you walk through the front door. The smell of bananas and fresh wood hits you like a memory, taking you to a time where everything is normal. Briefly, you catch a glimpse of life without Warner or your parents; Yuta perched on the counter and exchanging embarrassing anecdotes with Maddie, who’s working the register. She laughs, then casts her eyes to where you and Johnny are selling a customer on surf gear, and everything is perfect.

“(y/n?)” Johnny asks from his spot behind the counter, “What are you doing here?” His eyes are kind, soft even. You want to thank him for not kicking you out.

“I um... I don’t know? I-I just,” A sigh escapes your lips, ringing out loudly in the empty store, “is Yuta here?”

“No, it’s Wednesday so...” It feels like he snapped a rubber band against your forehead, “He misses you, you know?”

“Really?” You think it’s pathetic how small your voice sounds.

“Yea, like... A lot, he’s always holding that necklace that you left behind that one time. And looking at pictures, and watching rom-coms, then getting sad and eating all of the fudge pops in the fridge. I’ve had to buy about three new boxes in the last week.” He laughs quietly, in a squeezy and forced kind of way.

“Oh.” You want to cry. You want to cry, and scream, and throw things. But there’s nothing left in you except for the heavy silence permeating the room, and the act of accepting sad glances.

“I’m sorry.” You’ve heard the words so many times that they don’t sound real anymore, “I know that you leave tomorrow, so um... Is there anything that you want me to say to him?”

“Um... I guess just that,” You want to say: I only have a heart so that I can love you, echoing his words from your first kiss, “never mind. Don’t tell him anything, I don’t want to make this any harder.” He wants to tell you that he’s never seen someone love another person more than Yuta loves you, but he doesn’t want to make this any harder.

“(y/n,) I’m-”

“Really sorry?” He cheeks go pink at your correct assumption, and he nods, “It’s okay, just let me rent a board for the day?”

“Alright, but don’t expect for me to let you pay.” He tosses a pen at your face, eliciting a giggle from your mouth. It’s the first time that you’ve laughed all week.

“C’mon, I haven’t paid for a single thing here!”

“And you never will!” He’s about to add, Yuta would kick me out if I made you pay.

“Alright, alright. Let me go get the board.”

When you finally get to surfing, the waves are relentless. A small part of you wants to climb off the board and let them whip you around until you feel something again. The other part of you rides any wave that you can catch, and it feels so damn good to have something listening to you again. So good to do something just because you want to.

There’s salt water mixing with tears and sweat, and sun setting on your skin. You think about how perfectly Yutas lips fit with yours, then about how soft his bleached hair felt between your fingers.

“Maddie, why are you making us go this way?” It’s been thirty minutes of Maddie instructing your cab driver to turn down various back roads that don’t even lead to the airport, “Seriously, your flight is forty minutes before mine! You’re gonna be late.” She tries to wave the words away, then grips onto the front seat.

“Yea and then take this right. Yes, the one down that dirt road, thank you!” Now this is just getting ridiculous! You’re about to say something before she’s plopping back into the seat with wild eyes, “I’m not leaving.”

“What?!” Your scream startles the driver, causing him to slam on the breaks. Which may or may not slam your face into the headrest of the passenger's seat, “Sorry sir! Sorry!” He grumbles in response, you make a mental note to tip him extra.

“I’m not leaving! I talked it over with Johnny last night and then told my parents and put down the payment for an apartment! Then they cut off my card; sir?! It’ll be the next right, thank you!”

“Oh gosh, are you okay?” She grabs you by the shoulders, then squishes your cheeks lightly.

“Honestly? Not exactly, but at the same time I’ve never felt so free. I don’t owe them anything anymore, and like... Like, I scheduled an appointment to get my septum pierced just because my parents would never let me. I can do stuff like that now!” You want to ask how she can even afford it, then realize how awfully rude that is.

“I-I’m... I’m really happy for you.” Her eyes roll so far back in her head that you think she’s going to pass out.

“I’m asking you to come with me! And don’t argue with me on it, you know that you don’t want this! Marrying Warner, being a trophy wife? That’s not you, (y/n!)” She’s right, of course, but you don’t want her to be.

“Maddie, I can’t-”

“Why not?” The words are exasperated, almost angry, “Your parents are like, really mean to you. And it’s not like you owe this to them, if anything they owe this to you! They owe you one thing that’ll make you happy!” She’s pleading with you, forced tears taking home in her eyes. You just want everything to be done.

“But I don’t-”

“All of your favorite clothes are in your suitcase! You won’t need any cold clothes for a while, and you had a plan already anyways, right? With Yuta?” And there it is, the real reason that you can’t say yes. There’s the clenching of your heart, then your eyes falling to the dirty floor of the cab.

“I don’t know if Yuta still wants me. I mean, I really messed him up. Johnny said he’s watching rom-coms.” A shiver shoots up your spine at the thought of Yuta holding your necklace and staring with sad eyes. You don’t even think that you would take yourself back.

“Don’t. Be. Stupid.” She punctuates each word with a slap to the side of your head. You were going to complain, but then she’s spewing out more instructions to the cab driver and you can’t even remember how to breathe, “Of course Yuta still wants you! I saw those pictures, he looks at you like... Like...”

“Like it’s the only reason that he has eyes?” Her face lights up, now filled with hope instead of fake tears.

“Yes! We’re going to be at the airport in three minutes, so that you can either tell your parents that you’re leaving with me or make the biggest mistake of your life-”

“Maddie!” Her hands fly up defensively, and you’re not sure if you want to hug her or hit her.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

“It doesn’t mean that you should say it.” The words are mumbled, and you both know it’s so that you can avoid answering the question. She sighs heavily, then moves her hands to hold yours.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but please consider it? Pretty please, I don’t want you to live the rest of your life knowing what could have been!” She’s begging, the words slipping freely from her mouth as if they’re memorized. Meanwhile, you have the worst case of cottonmouth known to man.

“I-I...” There’s no air left as the cab skids to a halt in front of the airport, “I just don’t know, I’m sorry.”

You move out of the car, then to the trunk, then through the doors. Your parents are waiting by the small coffee shop, Warner sitting next to them and laughing. His head tilts backwards as the sound rings through the busy airport, and you realize how wrong all of this is.You shouldn��t be listening to loud, staged laughter! It should be Yuta’s soft giggles, the ones that you’ve never heard before this summer. The ones that dance through your dreams and paint everything bright pink.

And maybe it’s not just about Yuta. Maybe it’s also about having a life that you live just for you, and not for your parents. Or for Warner,or business partners, or anyone. A life for you, filled with things that you love. Maybe if you run you’ll make it outside before Maddie pulls away.

“Shit!” So it looks like piggybacking off of her taxi was no longer an option. But that’s fine, you can get your own. The airport is basically crawling with them, it shouldn’t be too hard to get one, “Taxi!” A yellow cab pulls up in front of you, the driver looking terribly annoyed.

“We’re not in New York, you know? Hop in.”

“Yes sir, so sorry, thank you, thank you!” The top half of your body is arranging your luggage in the seat, while your mother stares at the bottom half.

“(y/n?)” She asks, voice hushed yet stern, “What in the world are you doing?”

“Oh, mom! I-I’m just...” About a million lies run through your head. ‘I left something at the house,’ or ‘This was my cab, just dropped something in the back!’ One’s about to slip past your lips, but you choke. Maybe it’s time to start telling the truth, “I’m not leaving with you.” You’re facing her now, trying to read her expression. It’s actually kind of hard, until her eyes shoot harshly into the back of her skull.

“Yes you are, now get out of the car!” She grabs your wrist, but you yank it back.

“No, I’m not leaving! I’m staying and moving in with Maddie, and not getting married. At least not now, or to Warner! I don’t like him, and you don’t even care!” There’s pressure building in your rib cage, it feels like it’s about to crash and drown everything else out. Her mouth opens to speak, but just the thought of her voice makes you want to scream, “Don’t speak! Don’t say anything, there’s nothing you could say to mess me up anymore than you already have, so just stop!” You’re yelling. So loudly that it almost hurts.

“No, you stop! You owe this to your father, how can you be so selfish?” It doesn’t register that she actually said that. That anyone would actually say that.

“I owe him?!” She’s gripping your wrist again, trying to drag your body out of the cab and to where the man in question waits by the entrance.

“Yes! He’s provided you with a home, food, and private schooling for eighteen years! This is the least you can do to pay him back!” The pressure in your ribs finally crashes, and you see nothing but hot red.

“I owe him nothing! All the things you just named are basic things I need to survive. I owe him for not letting me starve?! That is ridiculous! If anything he owes me for all of the summers I wasted at dinner parties, or the months where I begged him to teach me how to ride a bike, or the spring break where I came home and said that the boys at school were bullying me and he was too busy on the phone to even hear me! Or for, I don’t know, not raising me?” There are tears welling in her eyes. You notice for the first time in a while that they’re the same as yours.

“Stop. Get out of the cab, you’re coming with us.”

“Give me one good reason why I should.” She stammers for a solid minute before you grab the cab door, ready to slam it in her face and drive far far away, “That’s what I thought, goodbye mom. Call me if you want.”

It takes four days of settling into the apartment before you can bring yourself to go see Yuta. Maddie and Johnny had harassed you for the last two, claiming that the boys moping was just getting harder to deal with.

(”Seriously (y/n,) please tell him that you’re here! I can’t take another rom-com!” Johnny had whined while dumping coffee grounds into your french press. Well, his old french press that he gave to you as a housewarming gift.

“I’m going to! I just need more time, that’s all.” You’re not lying, there’s still a lot to process. Your parents cut off your credit card basically as soon as their flight landed, which meant that your net worth was about fifty dollars. It was an adjustment to say the least.

“We get it, take your time!” Maddie interjected, taking a soft hand to your tensed shoulder while the other played with her new septum ring, “But maybe tell him before Friday?” You’re eyes widen while Johnny laughs into his mug, and you think about slapping Maddies hand away. You don’t, obviously, but you definitely think about it.

“How does giving me a time frame go along with waiting until I’m ready?!” You’re definitely whining, but it barely even matters. At least Johnny is laughing.

“I’m sorry! But if you wait forever then you’ll never do it, I know you!” You’re about to say that she’s right, but then her mouth opens again, “And he keeps asking if we can have dinner together...”

“I have to rush my reunion for your dinner party?” There was a meek ‘yes,’ then you rolling your eyes, “I love you. And hate you, but love you.” She smiled brightly and wrapped her arms around your shoulders.

“I love you too!” She pressed a kiss to your temple, Johnny may or may not have made a joke about being jealous. You remember thinking to yourself that there was only one thing in the world that would make this perfect.)

From where you stand now, it doesn’t look like Yuta’s moping at all. He’s surfing with a wide grin and whooping excitedly, you always thought it was so cute how he does that. It’s like he’s an endearing little kid, the kind that you want to give dessert to.

He finishes the wave off triumphantly, then pulls in with the tide. He looks calm. Calm and happy, until his eyes settle on you. At first he thinks you’re just any other tourist, but then your arms are waving as you wade into the cold water.

“(y/n?)” He shouts, eyebrows furrowing harshly, “What are you doing?” The whole ‘following Yuta into the ocean’ thing wasn’t exactly part of your plan, you didn’t even bring a swimsuit.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working in the store?” You respond as the water starts to soak the hem of your shorts. Yuta’s not sure if he should smile or cry, but either way he’s paddling towards you. He’s paddling towards you and you’re here.

“Aren’t you supposed to be gone?” His voice sounds strained, and you can’t wait until he’s close enough for you to explain everything, but in the meantime your mouth hangs open as he jumps off his board “Why are you still here?”

“I left them! My family, a-and fiance, I left them, I live here now! I live here, with Maddie we have an apartment and I left! Forever, I’m free a-and here!” Words are spilling out of your mouth like you can’t help it, and in a way you can’t “I’m here and yours, I’m here and mine!”

“S-so you’re not engaged anymore?” Everything feels frantic, like you have to say the right things as quickly as possible, which is ironic seeing as how before getting here you were sure that you wouldn’t even be able to speak to him. But it’s not like that. It’s more like you can’t breathe and the only thing that will give you air again is explaining all of this to the beautiful boy in front of you.

“No! I mean yes! I mean- shit! I mean that I don’t have a fiance anymore!” He’s smiling hopefully, something warm and beautiful blossoming your bodies.

“And you live here? Like, permanently?” You nod your head so fast that something sloshes between your ears.

“Yes! I live about fifteen minutes from the shack and ten minutes from you, not that I just know where your house is! You never told me that, so why would I know that?! Not like Johnny’s been at my apartment everyday for the past four days-” Then his lips are on yours, and they’re just as you remembered. Soft, hungry, and drenched in honey. He bites your lip softly, eliciting a quiet moan as your fingers tangle in the boy's hair. It’s a little bit shorter than last time, but you still like it nonetheless. You like everything about him, he could’ve grown an eleventh toe since your last meeting and you’d still like him.

“Why did you wait so long?” He grumbles before pressing a kiss to your jaw. You’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to answer while he’s doing that, but it’s probably worth a shot.

“I-I was scared.” His face shoots up to look you in the eyes, wearing furrowed brows and quirked lips. All you can think of is kissing him again.

“Why were you scared?” The words make your cheeks flush terribly pink.

“Because! I thought that I like... Broke your heart! I thought you’d never want to see me again!” He pushes the side of your face softly, then presses kisses all over your skin. You think that you’ve drowned and gone to heaven.

“Of course I was heartbroken, because I missed you! All I could think of was how badly I wanted you back, sitting on the counter at the store. I never hated you!” He smiles widely, and you realize that it’s the same one from the first day in the surf shack. It’s warm, and inviting, and it heals something inside of you. Not everything, but definitely something, and you think that you want to kiss it off his face. So you do.

He wants to kiss you back like it’s what he needs to survive. So he does.

It’s a Wednesday, which usually means surfing with Yuta until you’re both sore everywhere. They’re your favorite days, but this one is painted a little differently. You’re standing on the shore with Johnny and Yuta while Maddie fumbles over waves. She’s fallen off three times (which is about where you would’ve drawn the line and come to shore,) but she’s determined. Before going out she said, ‘I am not coming in until I ride a wave. Guys, guys stop laughing!’ and she’s really sticking to it. It’s been almost an hour, you want her to catch one just so that you can go out.

“You’ve got this Maddie!” There’s almost a zero percent chance that she can hear you, but you feel guilty for not being able to help her back up after the fourth fall, “She’s going to have so many bruises.” Johnny suppresses a laugh, because even if the sweet girl can’t hear your cheering she will be able to pick up on Johnny teasing her. It’s like a radar.

“Says you! Remember that giant one on your butt that poked through your shorts?” You instinctively rub the spot where it was, cringing at the memory of not being able to sit anywhere for a week. You want to scold Johnny for bringing it up, but then Yuta pinches the skin on your hip and your brain stops working.

“I remember that bruise,” He mumbles into your hair, pressing a kiss quickly onto your scalp before reverting his eyes to Maddie, “made everything so damn difficult!” Johnny gags as you slap your boyfriend, who’s giggling in the chaos that he created. He tends to do that.

“Stop. Being. Gross.” You punctuate each word with a flick to his temple. He giggles and grabs your wrist, pressing a gentle kiss onto the skin of your palm. Then he flicks you back, to which you screech loudly, “Yuta! Stop it, oh my gosh!”

“What? Am I too gross? Personally I think-”

“Guys, look!” Johnny’s voice pulls you back to reality, but it’s okay. Reality has warm sand, and crystal blue waters, and your best friend in the world successfully riding her first wave. Before you can even process it Johnny is cheering like he’s her number one fan (he is. You know that he is,) “That’s my baby! That’s my freaking baby!”

“Go Maddie!” Even from far away, you can tell that she’s smiling. You’re smiling, Yuta is smiling, Johnny is more than smiling. Johnny is grinning like it’s going to split his face in half. Everyone cheers as she breaks the wave left, Yuta doing nothing more than letting out an incoherent whoops as Johnny runs out into the water. You briefly think that they’re doing what you and Yuta did after-

“Isn’t that exactly what we did after your first wave?” A laugh bubbles out of your throat while you wrap an arm around his dainty waist. His skin feels warm under your hand, you think that you want to live in that feeling for forever.

“I was just thinking that! And yes, yes it is.” Your words bring up a flood of memories; kissing underneath a setting sun, ‘I love you’s whispered into hot skin, and this beautiful feeling in your chest. A feeling that feels like everything is becoming right. You sink your head onto the boys shoulder, eyes trained on the crashing waves, “That was a good day.”

“The best one yet.” He turns so that you’re facing each other, and you know it’s because he’s going to kiss you. He always does this, then smiles with one side of his mouth, then pulls you in by the waist, then kisses you like he means it. It’s your routine, but one that you don’t think you’ll ever be tired of.

His hands skirt across your jaw, then yours in his hair. He’s never gotten used to how that feels, and you’ve never gotten used to the way he turns into putty under your hands. Maybe there are some things about Yuta that you’re not supposed to get used to, like the way that he giggles like a school girl whenever something is funny. His hand pushes your hair back, then cradles your neck and pulls you impossibly closer. It feels like everything is perfect.

“Come on nasties! We’re surfing!” Maddie splashes water at the two of you, pretending like she and Johnny weren’t doing the exact same thing less than two minutes ago. You were wrong before, now everything is perfect.

“Alright, alright, Yuta will you pass me my board?” He smirks while turning to pass the purple surfboard.

“The one that you chose because it matches my hair?” Maddie snorts at your boyfriend's quip as your cheeks go bright pink.

“Johnny, you promised not to tell!” You screech while chasing the tall boy into oncoming waves. Your respective partners tail behind, giggles slipping past their shouts of protest.

You think that nothing in the world could be more perfect than this, and you’re right.

#nakamoto yuta #yuta x reader #yuta fluff #yuta imagines #writekpop #admin r #im reposting bc the last one didnt show up in tags grr #if this doesnt show up idk what im gonna do :((#lemme know if u can see it pwease and enjoy!

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