#yes i realize eurovision was over a week ago

[undulla]

We have a laminated meme template in the office for job related jokes. Welp:

[snowberrydream]

Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023

Here is an english translation/transcript of Käärijä’s appearance on Finnish talk show Puoli seitsemän for the enjoyment of all the non-finnish Käärijä & Eurovision fans. I have no clue how to screenrecord videos or put subtitles on them, but I can offer you a written translation :D (if someone has access to the video and can do that, feel free to use the translation if you want to, just tag me if you do, please). If there’s anything confusing or weird, comment or message me and I’ll try to clarify it 

So here it goes, enjoy!

Käärijä @ Puoli seitsemän - talk show 26.4.2023

(hosts talking about generic beginning-of-the-show-stuff, introducing Käärijä)

host1: Today we are having a party, holding onto pina coladas with both hands (handing out drinks). These are non-alcoholic, I assume it’s fine by you?

Käärijä: Absolutely. It’s probably for the better. This time.

host2: And it’s tasty! You can try both of them.

K: Is this green one also a pina colada? (tastes)

hosts: Ummmm (unsure noises) we are also curious to know (laugh) But hey, glad you could come amidst all the hustle! You’ve been all over like a … a pina colada.

K: (sipping his drinks) (chuckles at the metaphor). Exactly. Happy to be here, thank you for inviting me. And amazing that we have these [pina coladas] here. I actually haven’t really drunk these that much, so thank you for this!

H1: They’ve gotten a lot more popular lately, the sales have gotten up. Have you heard about that?

K: Well yeah, yeah I’ve been told that there has been some empty shelves.

H1: Green yarns sold-out, green fabrics sold-out, (H2: green nailpolish too), pina coladas…

K: It’s indeed quite a circus that I’ve managed to create, but well, (shrugs) why not.

H2: And this is only the beginning, isn’t it?

K: That’s what I’m a bit scared of, really (laughs). That what else will people come up with?

H2: Right now you surely don’t have time for days-off, but when you do get to relax a bit, what do you like to do?

K: I think I’ll just snuggle underneath my Formula1 -sheets, take a little nap and think about absolutely nothing, if one is really able to do that. Or watch some series or listen to some relaxing music. But probably just be in silence.

H1: Yeah, there was a couple moments before the broadcast started, like a half a minute of quiet in the studio. You had like this serene smile on your face.

K: Yeah, I was enjoying that (laughs). I mean I of course like talking with you, too. But, when you are constantly surrounded by thousands of people, at some point it just starts to feel like you need a bit of your own space. As much as we humans are pack animals [=like and need others], too much is too much.

H2: (agreeing hums) Do you know how to take that own space when you need it?

K: Not always. Though I’ve been trying to learn to say no to things. I used to be really bad at doing that, worrying that what if I’ll upset someone etc. But now I’ve been learning, also because of this [Eurovision] that sometimes it’s just …Too bad, I just can’t do that now. That I just need to take that space (moment of realization) …And yet I still don’t have it (laughs). But, on the other hand, some things you just have to get done, and then you’ll take care of those. So… Let’s just hope that everything will go smoothly.

H1: The contest itself is about two and a half weeks away, but there has already been pre-parties all over Europe, getting people into the Eurovision spirit.

H2: Yes, let’s see how it was in London about a week ago. (cue a clip of Käärijä’s performance & fan interactions from London, Cha Cha Cha playing in the background)

(back to studio, hosts and Käärijä jumping and dancing before sitting down again)

hosts: You just can’t stay still while listening to that.

K: Even I joined in too.

H2: So much for resting.

K: Yeah, there it goes again (laughs). When I could’ve just been like (slouches on the sofa) for once.

H1: It happens to everyone! It just pulls you in, it’s such a banger.

K: Yeah, it’s quite enegetic. Though I’ve also tried to not listen to it a little bit, so that it doesn’t become completely (gun to the head -gestures). But I hear it all the time anyway. Everywhere (flailing hands).

H2: So, pre-parties all over Europe. How did you feel about those?

K: Damn good, foremost. It was so amazing to see people singing along to a finnish song. Hadn’t really even imagined that something like that could happen. Met wonderful people there, such amazing personalities, and the mood was great. It really felt like a family, everyone cheering for each other and no like, any disturbances, like what could sometimes happen in an ordinary gig, you know. Really great. I’m glad I went. At first I thought that I wouldn’t go at all (H2: to Eurovision, or…?) – No, no! I meant the pre-parties (H2: Ah, yes) so that I could rest, because they can be quite …demanding. Lots of interviews, travelling, waiting around and so on… And then during Madrid trip I also got sunburnt …roasted my skin a little (laughs) Oh well, I’ll have a bit of a tan now, no burns any longer. But overall it was really good, though also tough.

H1: So you keep a professional attitude about it all? Like, ’this is work, not partying, focus on the job’?

K: Keep focus on the job, yeah. You always aim for a win. Of course you must also remember to enjoy the experience, but the attitude is still like ”See you at the Market Square [= for victory celebrations], all of Finland”. I’d feel so quilty if I’d be just drinking and partying around amid all this, I might never forgive myself.

H2: People have been fitting the victor’s mantle on you [=predicting him to win] already. And on Sweden’s Loreen, whom we saw briefly in the video clip. How do you feel about the pressure of being a fan favorite?

K: I don’t really take pressure about it. In a way. I mean of course I feel like …I have that pressure, but, I haven’t really understood it, It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, because I’m just running from one place to another all the time. I haven’t had time to be stressed about the H-hour, because there is still so much happening before that. I don’t think that quite a panic alarm moment (slamming gesture) will happen before the contest, but some level of nervousness will probably still hit me, as it did in the UMK. But the moment you get on the stage, it’s quite an easy case from there on, in the end.

H1: Right. But hey, here we are, holding on to our drinks with both hands, but you’d actually need a third one, as you have also a cup of tea there in front of you.

K: Yes, and also a cup of water on top of that.

H1: For some voice maintenance, right?

K: Yes, as you can probably hear, my voice has taken some damage [he is sounding a little hoarse occasionally] but let’s hope it’ll get better before the contest. You wouldn’t want to attend with a voice like this.

H1: Yeah, but let’s not be too worried for now, as there is still time left.

K: Luckily there is. And we’ll make some more if we have to.

H2: Right. So, you’ll leave on Sunday?

K: On Sunday, yes. You all will be here celebrating May Day, while I’ll be packing my funnel cakes and mead with me and taking off to Liverpool.

H1: The fan phenomenon has caught everyone by surprise. It’s… I assume it has surprised you, surely it has surprised all of Finland, maybe Europe too. I mean, it’s massive!

K: Right. It’s awesome. It’s kinda funny, all the things this has lead into and like, the kind of people that have sent me messages. Like, world-class artists even from abroad and so on. It’s strange how at some point nothing feels like anything anymore. I mean, when you don’t have time to enjoy it, like getting good news about one thing, because another thing is already happening right after. And then comes another thing, and another and another and another. Because every day there is something new, cool and fun happening to me at the moment. I haven’t had time… - I’ve really had no time to properly process any of what I’ve been given. I’ve just, gone somewhere to do stuff and then been off to the next place already and been like ’ok you do that I do this’ (delegating gestures) and so on. I hope that at some point I’ll get some time to think about all that has happened. Of course I’ve enjoyed this, but…maybe not in a way that people might assume? It hasn’t been just living on cloud nine all the time, for real. Even though this is what I’ve wanted, and wanted to get my music out there here in Finland, and, now it seems to be happening in Europe and elsewhere too, so yeah…

H2: Fans have been running after you and so on… Apparently there has been some extreme reactions even? Someone had…?

K: Yeah, one person fainted.

H1: Where did this happen?

K: In Madrid (H2: so they saw you?). Yes. And… They all behaved really well, like, in Finland people just take pics and whisper to each other, but there – they’ll run after you. It’s really a shocking feeling when you step out the door and everyone starts screaming and (running gesture) they are running and then we are running (laughs). But, it’s not like …If you said no to something that they asked for, they were really respectful and nice about it [despite the enthusiasm].

H2: So, someone just saw you and just, simply couldn’t handle the shock?

K: Yeeahh. Though, sometimes I can barely handle it either, when I see myself in the mirror (laughs) (hosts laughing).

H1: The Käärijä hype is intensifying indeed. But, let’s add to that a bit more with the following clip.

(Videoclip about a family of real Käärijä superfans, where the mom had made Käärijä’s Cha Cha Cha costumes for her three sons and even the family dogs. the boys are dancing and talking about how much they like Käärijä)

H1: They are really rooting for you.

H2: Aww, such sweet boys.

K: So cool.

H2: They really got it down, dance moves and all.

K: Yeah, I’m speechless, honestly. Like, amidst all this there’s little time to pay attention to what is happening around you in the world. And then there’s kids like that… It’s truly amazing thing, thank you to them, really. All the best to them. And the parents too, truly tipping my hat to them for like, for doing all that for the kids. I remember back when I played ice hockey, it was my parents made it happen for me too, taking care of things so that I got to play. And now those boys want to be Käärijäs. Just, lots of love to the whole family. [He seemed to be quite touched about this clip. Either that or he just happens to struggle with his voice a bit right then, sounding a little quivering for a sec]  

H1: Exactly. So. Käärijä is Jere and Jere is Käärijä, is that the way it goes? Are you still just Jere for those closest to you, or is everyone calling you Käärijä by now?

K: Ahhh, well, mom is calling me Käärijä now (H2: okay). I’ve had to sometimes tell her to stop it already, or that else I’ll adopt myself into a new family to have someone who calls me Jere (laughs). Just kidding, really, she’s just proud and excited about all this. But I hear it a lot, this Käärijä stuff. It can get a little dull, because sometimes you’d just like to forget this work stuff, when you are at home etc. and talk about other things than Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha and music. Sometimes it makes me wonder like, …what have I gotten myself into?

H2: A phenomenon has been born, indeed. Well,  we asked for you to bring some pics from your home album, and you brought these two (pics of him as a kid behind a drum kit and him in his late teens wearing hospital pj’s appear on the screen). There they are… You could tell us a little about them yourself.  (H1: a little drummer boy). A little rookie instrumentalist there. A little drummer boy, yes.

K: (looking at the pic) Yeah, I’ve enjoyed banging drums since I was little. My brother played guitar and we watched some Fröbelin Palikat [a finnish kid’s music band], used kettles as drums and and, brother had this weird thingy as a guitar.  Then at some point I got my own drums, started drum lessons and eventually even taught my classmates at school how to play. My teacher assigned that task for me. But that career didn’t last, in the end. Wasn’t quite that interested in drums after all, I guess. But that’s where my sense of rhythm and all comes, surely. And anyway, where would you put those things in a small flat? Banging them in some apartment building, you’ll get evicted in a second. But, drums are still close to my heart and whenever I get the chance I do grab the sticks and see if I’m still any good at playing them.

H1: And then, how about the second pic (of him in a hospital cafeteria or some common area, sitting by a table filling lottery coupons)

K: Right, that’s an interesting one. I got sick with Colitis ulcerosa, I think that was the latin name for it. And well, I think that was taken around the time it was at it’s worst.

H2: So it’s a bowel disease?

K: Yes, my entire colon got inflamed eventually and I ended up needing an emergency operation to remove it quickly, to prevent the inflammation from spreading to other parts of the body. I was hanging by a thread, honestly. I wasn’t even going to go [to the hospital] at first, but dad forced me and dragged me in there. Packed up some The Simpsons movies and my pillow and was like ’we are going now, son’ and… yeah. Honestly the shittiest time of my life, not wishing that for anyone. But it did also make me grow a lot as a person, and I wouldn’t change anything for myself, I’m totally okay with this. I’m alive, in the situation that I’m in now, and it changed who I am. Of course I have things where to improve even now, but it took me forward at the time, regarding my values and such, I think I’m in quite a good place now. (back to describing the pic) I went to place some bets [the lottery coupons] to pass time, there wasn’t anything else to do. Friends or my brother sometimes came to watch ice hockey from TV with me while I was laying in the hospital.

H2: You are wearing hospital clothes in the pic. Did you spend long periods of time in there?

K: I was there for like two weeks at a time. Went there every now and then, had an IV drip and laid there, had some medication and such. But in the end the treatments didn’t work and had to have the surgery, remove the colon completely. So, yeah. But, it’s a thing that happened to me and one just has to learn – and I have learned – to live with it. It won’t destroy your world if a thing like that does happen, on the contrary, it can open some new doors, that’s how I try to view it. But again, wouldn’t wish that for anyone, or anything like it. Yeah. That was a tough time. Made a young guy think about stuff, how others are out there partying, going to festivals and all that, and I didn’t get to have that. It went on for about a year, and towards the end I just laid in bed. I couldn’t go anywhere because I’d be just shitting blood in my pants right away etc. I was just, bumping into doors, barely able to stay on my feet, so…

H2: And a year is a long time in a young person’s life.

K: It was, yes. I had to drop everything. All the sports I did back then. I was really into going to the gym at the time, had certain goals I wanted to achieve and was working towards them. They aren’t important any longer, guess they weren’t even back then, really, but it did hit me hard at the time, when I lost 10 kg, from that kind of body (H2: woah). I weighed 49 kg at the worst point, hemoglobin about 54, or 56.

H2: Rough numbers, truly.

K: Yeah, it wasn’t healthy at all, I was pale as a sheet. In that pic I’m actually still looking surprisingly fresh. Yeah, I was just skin and bones.

H1: And does the disease still affect your life today?

K: Well, of course in the way that I have to go to the bathroom more often, 7 or 8 times a day on average. But I’m used to it, it’s not an issue for me. I can hold it in – so, rest easy there on the other side of the camera, no need to worry that something might happen mid-performance …Well let’s knock on wood just in case – But otherwise, not really… well, I can’t eat spicy food anymore. That will surely destroy my mood and the pipes, so to speak. So there are some things, but I’ve lived with this for so long already that it’s just normal for me.

H2: Surely. Bit of a balancing act.

H1: Hey, you spoke earlier about how people want to talk a lot [about you], and we want to talk and everyone wants to talk about Eurovision, and how it would be great to speak about anything else, even about the weather. But now! Now we’ll talk about it!

H2: Yes, let’s watch the clip first, about a very fundamental question.

(a videoclip of interviewing people abouth whether winters used to be better in your childhood than they are nowadays :D Conclusion: it’s more a matter of childhood nostalgia and personal memories than anything else)

H1: Soo, Jere. Were the winters better back when you were a kid?

K: Well, yeah. Especially now that I’m thinking about all the memories connected to them. I liked snowboarding/downhill skiing [unclear which one he means] a lot back then, and i do feel that there was more snow and it came earlier, but of course my memories might be faulty and in reality we were just skidding on bare ground. But yeah, I have a feeling there used to be more snow and outdoor ice rinks and chances to build snow castles and things like that.

H2: Yeah, you must’ve been familiar with the ice rinks, since you played ice hockey for many years, right?

K: Yes, though with little success. But yeah, I did go swat the puck for a time.

H2: That looks quite proper to me (looking at pics of him in a hockey match).

K: Well, I’ve got the gear on and the puck in my control, so that helps (laughs).

H1: I gathered that you played quite many positions?

K: Yeah, I did go through them all, but none of them was my thing, in the end. But I have very fond memories from my hockey days, too. Though it was also like banging your head to a wall sometimes, too. That either wasn’t just sunshine and rainbows all the time. Very hard training at one point, and from there it swung to the other end when I was mainly just fiddling around. Like, training once a week and then playing a match. But yeah, spent a lot of time at ice halls.

H2. Yes, and speaking of halls. It was on the news today that your iconic green bolero has now been frozen and hoisted up to the ceiling of Helsinki Ice hall rink.

K: Yes, there it hangs now. Up there it went.

H2: An honorary gesture for the shirtless rager. To cheer you on.

K: Yes, my thanks for them all, too. And we’ll have a gig there at the hall in May also, so it was really cool of them to come up with such event. I guess they wanted to wish me luck and bring some joy to the people with a silly happening like that.

H1: And there’s also the positive side to it that it wont get lost from up there (chuckles).

K: Yes, it sure won’t. Unless someone finds a crane or something to get it. So I’m sure it’ll be waiting for me there.

H2: Your live performances are quite demanding physically. Do you think this (points at the hockey pic) laid the groundwork for that?

K: Yes, I’m sure of it. Like, thinking back to the time I was in hospital, I bounced back really fast and got back in good shape even though I was a total wreck after that one year. But when I got back to the gym and jogging trails I started putting weight and muscle back on quite soon. There is some, like, muscle memory to it. I can tell my sports background has it’s effect. That’s why I wish that also the youth of today would all have the chance to have hobbies. It’s not possible for everyone, but I wish it was, because it brings a lot of good, improves your health and brings new friends and so on.

H1: So then, like, most of us have only seen Cha Cha Cha from you at this point, but how are your usual gigs? How long and how physical are they typically?

K: About 45 min to an hour, around 12 or 13 songs a gig. And… yeah, they are quite a mayhem, even more than Cha Cha Cha is, some pretty fast-paced songs in there. You get to shriek and rage and run and hype the audience to your heart’s content.

H2: No wonder that your voice is a bit down, then. You aren’t holding anything back while on stage?

K: No, I think that if somebody has paid, whether it’s 5 euros or 50 euros for the ticket, I’ll give it my all every time. I don’t want the people to feel like I’m slacking off , came there to just collect some easy money, or that I’m not interested in being there. Because it is our shared experience, when the audience is there. I am not alone in there, but together with everyone, and it should be a party for all of us then.

H1: Of course. So, on Sunday you’ll be on the move, but before that a little time to rest, to spare yourself. You won’t be doing any gigs before the ESC anymore, right?

K: I won’t, no.

H1: Great. You’ll get your voice in top condition, yes?

K: Yes.

Hosts: (starting to wrap up the interview] But! BUT! Now, let’s put on some music, shall we? Just a couple little dance moves, pleeease. We can’t end this without a little Cha Cha Cha! So, good luck to you in Liverpool (K: thank you], but now, let’s head onto the dance floor (everyone running away from the sofas). Teach us some moves that everyone should know!

(chaotic Cha Cha Cha-ing ensues, until the hosts form a mini-piggytrain and Käärijä rides away from the camera view. The End.)

[airi-p4]

Love in the sky

I wrote this for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers LBSC Sprint challenge - Meet cute week event and, once again, I got carried away and broke all the rules. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Prompt: Sitting next to each other on the plane.

Summary: Marinette is going to NY on an international flight for the first time. What she doesn’t know is that the one seated next to her is the popular new band Kitty Section’s guitarist: Luka Couffaine.

Thank you @livrever for checking it for me 💙

AO3

______________________________________

Marinette rushed through the aisle of the plane. She couldn’t believe she almost missed it! her first international trip to the US! Stupid alarm! Of course she was tired. She was so nervous she couldn’t sleep all night… until 5AM… and the plane departed at 10AM… and obviously she had to oversleep. *sigh*

Running, tripping and spinning on her feet, she finally searched for her seat. 38B - aisle seat. Her pink polka dotted suitcase was heavy, but thanks to the cabin attendant she could finally put it inside the overhead bin, while her backpack rested under the seat in front of her. All set, she let her weight fall on the seat at last and let out a deep breath as she fastened her seatbelt.

The doors of the plane closed, and the PA message started: Welcome on board… Security instructions… Marinette wasn’t listening. Her legs were uncontrollably shaking, and her fingers were fidgeting with the laces of her hoodie.

Those nerves and stress couldn’t be healthy.

She examined her surroundings, and, next to her, someone was sleeping. Someone, who appeared to be a young man, with a sleeping eye mask and a face mask on, messy blue hair showing under a knit hat and a blanket covering his body. Overall, it didn't give much more information about her plane's seat neighbor. Not wanting to wake him up, she focused on the rest of the passengers instead. Why were all of them so quiet when she felt her heart could burst out of her chest anytime?

The plane started its runaway and Marinette closed her eyes tightly when it raised from the lane. Once in the air, she started breathing again, but her heart was still beating fast.

"First time on a plane?" a masculine voice beside her asked.

She turned to her side, and looked at the person seated next to her. His eye mask was over his head now, and she could see his blue eyes clearly, while his blue bangs partly covered his eyebrows.

“Y- yes!” she squeaked.

“You’re making me nervous too. Calm down, it’s going to be ok” he assured.

“I- I know!" She said, but her body wasn’t obeying. “I’m sorry...”

The young man sighed. “Look, I’ve been on a plane many times. It’s safe. Why don’t you try to sleep? It’s going to be a long flight.”

“I- I can’t! I’m too nervous! I’ve never traveled alone before, plus my career depends on this trip! I can’t stay calm!”

“Why don’t you try listening to some music, then? It always helps me relax” the young man offered her a sympathetic look.

“Music…?” she blinked. ‘It could work’.

She plugged the earphones and put them in her ears. Then, she scrolled through the music programs on the touch screen in front of her. Classical music? For some reason, it only made it worse. Country music? Not her style. XY? Hell, no. Her eyes stopped at the name of a fairly new band: “Kitty Section”. She played the video called: “Kitty Section's Paris Live Concert”.

“Good choice” the man next to her said when the title started showing on the screen.

Marinette had heard about the band called Kitty Section. They had featured in most of her favorite magazines after they won Eurovision several months ago, but she wasn't familiar with their music. In less than a minute, she was hooked and forgot completely about her surroundings or her nerves.

“Wow!” she mumbled, mesmerized, and the man next to her let out a snicker.

The music was amazing- the rock vibes, their stage presence, the vocalists’ cuteness and high ranged voice, the accurate and insane drums, the gorgeous purple haired bassist… all of them sounded incredible. But the guitarist… the blue haired guitarist was extraordinary- unbelievably good. Not only talented, but also powerful, charismatic and incredibly handsome.

“They’re good, huh?” The man beside her commented and she nodded. She could tell he was smiling under his face mask. She nodded in agreement.

“I had never heard them properly before but damn- they are incredible” Marinette answered, and he laughed. Her fingers tapped rhythmically, following the beat of the song.  “But…" she continued, observing. "I think they could do better. There’s a margin of improvement,” she said with judging eyes.

“Oh, really? How?” The blue-eyed man asked, curious, resting his elbow on the arm rest to get a closer look.

“The costumes,” Marinette pointed out. Then, she reached her backpack under her feet and took out a sketchbook and a pen and started drawing. “The outfits could be improved if they added this, and this” she signaled. “And this-” She kept scribbling while the blue-haired man observed and listened to her suggestions. “And ta-da! Wouldn’t they look even better if they were like this?” She proudly showed him her designs, only to realize she was being embarrassing towards a stranger. “Ah, sorry- I got carried away…” She apologized. But the man took the sketchbook in his hands.

“Let me see,” he said, and she saw how his eyes examined every detail of her drawings. She gulped nervously. It felt like her skills were being tested. But the man took his face mask off and smiled. “Wow, that’s impressive. Fresh, charismatic, unique- and perfectly according to the band's style. I love them" he returned her the sketchbook. "You’re very talented. Are you famous? Do you take commissions?” He asked, and she looked at him speechless.

“I- I’m still a no-one… Is it really impressive?” She looked at him and blushed at the compliment.

“Yes, I think so. What would you do with this outfit?” He asked, showing him a photo of the same band on his smartphone. Her inspiration overflowed as she kept drawing and explaining her ideas. They kept discussing costumes and visual aspects of the band and chatted comfortably for a long time.

"I think Rose should go with something more… daring, bolder. She looks innocent but she's fierce inside. Of course, cuteness is her main trait, so I think she should combine both" she explained, coloring her design with colored pencils. "I think something like this would be perfect for her" she showed him her sketchbook and he was impressed. “As for Juleka-” She continued, turning to a blank page. “She’s so beautiful. I wish she didn’t cover her face so much, even if the mystery look is really attractive too…" She stopped drawing for a moment to admire the bassist on the screen. "Gosh- She's so gorgeous! I wish I was that beautiful” she commented.

“I think you’re even more beautiful than her, you know?” The blue-haired man casually said, and she shyly blushed with a 'no way' frantic arms movements. “What about the guitarist?” he asked, raising an eyebrow with a smug smile.

“Luka Couffaine? OH LORD SHOW MERCY- Have you seen him? And his eyeliner? It should be ILLEGAL to be this HOT” She said, convinced.

“Hmmm… So you like him, huh?” He teased, his smile widening.

“Who doesn’t, really?” She shrugged. “He’s literally the SEXIEST man alive. His eye contact with the camera could kill! Oh, and whenever he gets shirtless on stage or photoshoots? GOD- I almost get a nosebleed EVERY FREAKING TIME! He's TOO DAMN HOT" She fanned herself at the image. "Don’t you agree?" She asked and he blinked twice. "You like him too, right? You have so many photos of them in your phone! I bet he’s making you question your sexuality too, like he does with all my friends! How could anyone resist those blue eyes and his manly features, his soft looking blue hair and- his tattoos..." She looked away from her seat neighbor's blue piercing eyes, and focused at the smartphone screen again, to a close-up photo of Kitty Section’s guitarist. "How did you get these close-up casual photos...?” she asked, and then she noticed the tattoo on his neck. She looked back and forth at the man seated next to her and the one in the picture. ‘It couldn't be, right…?’ And at that moment, when he had a knowing smile on his face- one she knew too well-, she realized who he was seated next to on the plane. Her eyes opened as big as plates and she overheated. He was smirking amusingly at her reaction. “You- You- You are-? Lu-Lu-Luk- It can’t be…”

He nodded to confirm her suspicions and her jaw fell to the floor. “Hi. I think I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Luka. But I think you already know that. It’s nice to meet you.” He chuckled, straightening his hand for a handshake.

“Oh God, kill me now...” She mumbled, sinking on the table. Luka snickered.

“What’s your name?”

“Ma-Ma-Marinette… I mean- Marinette!” She felt his eyes on her and panicked. “Excuse me- I- I need a moment... This- This is too much- Oh My God...” She stood up and rushed to the end of the plane, not without tripping twice on her way there.

________________________

While Marinette was gone, the two ladies in front of Luka and Marinette’s seats turned to Luka. “Having fun?” They smirked, knowingly. He was chuckling, having real trouble to keep his laugh from escaping.

“Oh, God, Yes. This is so much fun." He wiped the tears that were forming on his eyes. "I think I’ve found our potential new costume designer” he continued laughing under his nose.

“Only that? I think there’s more...” Juleka smirked, and Rose giggled in agreement by her side. He couldn't deny it: his sister was totally right.

Behind Luka's seat, Kitty Section's drummer, Ivan and his girlfriend Mylene had been enjoying the show the blue-eyed pair had been giving. It was definitely more entertaining than any movie. It would have been perfect if they had popcorn to accompany their fortunate first row seats to the hilarious show. They also approved Marinette's designs.

Luka took the chance Marinette wasn't there to freely stand up, go talk to their managers and stretch his legs for a bit.

_________________________

Back at the end of the plane, Marinette drank some juice and moved to the bathroom. She was panicking in front of the mirror, talking to herself.

“OH. MY. GOD. I’m seated next to Luka Couffaine! For at least… 5 hours more!? And I just called him hot! And- And- he said I’m beautiful and talented! And- Oh my God, he asked me for commissions, right? This can’t be real- I-" her feet wiggled uncontrollably and she let out a long squeak. "Ahh… Calm down, Marinette! He’s human- A sexy human, but still human! He’s famous but very friendly, kind and nice. And fun! It’s going to be alright. Just- Avoid his eyes. That’s it. It’s dangerous. Don’t fall in love. You’re not a teenager anymore, you’re over that stage, right? Only a few hours more. You can do it. I CAN DO IT!” She convinced herself with a confident nod and returned to her seat, only to find Luka was gone.

She looked for him from her seat, at her surroundings, but he was nowhere to be found. She sighed in both relief and sadness as she seated.

For some reason, she was missing him. Which was stupid, considering they had just met! But his company was certainly enjoyable... And, moreover, it was FUN. More than she ever remembered having. And not only because she was passionate about fashion or music. It had to do with his aura, his personality, his gentle manners- just... Luka.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back in a moment” A voice said from in front of her. “My brother is stupid, but he’s a decent person. Treat him well” The purple haired lady winked, beside a petit blond lady.

“Jul-!” She covered her mouth with her hands to stop herself from yelling her name. “And Rose-!?” 'Oh, no! They might have heard what I said too!' She panicked again and the ladies giggled amused.

“Ignore my sister and her girlfriend” Luka returned, and her face flustered when she noticed how tall and well built he was (not that she didn't know that, but it hit differently in first person). “Can I get back to my seat?” He politely asked, pointing at the window seat.

“Ah-! Yes! Of course!” She stood up so suddenly she tripped and fell on Luka’s chest. She immediately moved away in embarrassment, falling back instead, and Luka had to hold her again to avoid her imminent fall. “I’m sorry!”

“Are you ok?” He asked in concern, and she shyly nodded. Luka reluctantly let go of her and returned to his seat and Marinette settled back to hers.

Wait- Was that a blush on his face?

“Here” Luka offered her an envelope. “I don’t know what your plans in NY are but, here’s a VIP pass to our concert next Sunday. There’s also our contact card inside. I want you to consider the idea of working for us. Your costumes are impressive. We discussed it, and we want you in our team” Marinette had no words- totally speechless. Could she be this lucky? “What do you say?” Luka asked with a hopeful tender smile that made her weak.

“I- I’ll think about it. And- Oh God- I’ll totally be there for your concert” She blushed and Luka smiled kindly at her. Suddenly, she started searching inside her backpack, and took out a business card she offered him. “This is my contact. I- I have a fashion event next Monday. I would love you to come, if you can make it. Send me an email and I’ll get you some passes”

“Wow! That's impressive. I'll try to make it. Thank you, Marinette”

Marinette could hear her heart beating faster. No looking in his eyes, dammit. They kept talking for a while, enjoying their time together until they fell asleep out of exhaustion, Marinette’s head resting on Luka’s shoulder. He woke up earlier than her, but didn’t have the heart to wake her up until lunchtime. She looked like she really needed that rest.

When he left half of his lunch untouched, Marinette scolded him. “You have to eat! You’re too thin! Those abs and arms need consistency! Proteins!” She pointed at a photo of him shirtless and flustered again in embarrassment in realization. “Ah-”

Gosh- it really was fun, Luka thought, chucking. It was hard not to laugh out loud. Everything flowed so naturally it was unbelievable.

Damn. He didn’t want the plane to ever land.

“Marinette” he called, during their coffee time, and she looked back at him, redness still on her cheeks. “The plane will land soon but- Even if you don’t accept our offer… Is it possible for us to meet again? Out of business? Like this?”

Marinette flustered at his implications. “Do- Do you mean-?”

“A date. Would you go on a date with me, Marinette? Or just as friends, if you prefer. I like you, and I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun with anyone else” He took Marinette’s pen and one of his ‘Kitty Section’ contact cards and wrote something behind it. “These are my personal telephone number and email. We'll be in NY until Friday next week. It would make me very happy if you contact me, whenever you prefer, anytime” He said, securing the card in her hands.

Marinette blushed, looked at the card with glowing eyes, and then at his honest loving stare. Was it even possible that the man everyone was gushing about was asking her out? But this had nothing to do with his stage persona. Luka was someone she more than enjoyed spending time with. Naturally, quietly, assuring… She had no doubts about her answer.  

“I want to meet you again, too” she stated, and wrote her personal number under his wristband. “I’m free on Wednesday” she shyly smiled, and his smile widened.

“Wednesday is it, then. I'll manage to find the time. Just for you." He smiled happily and only then she realized how deep she had fallen.

Ah- she hadn't wanted to fall in love. What a way to fail her own determination… But she couldn't complain, not at all.

And he felt the same way.

Luka and Marinette's hands locked together, and they lost themselves in each other’s eyes, smiling at each other.

“Why don’t you kiss her already, dumbass?” Juleka called, and Marinette blushed. “He won’t kiss you if you don’t give him proper permission, you know? He’s very considerate despite his looks. Tell him already”

“Jules… Why don’t you mind your business and make out with Rose instead?” He shushed his sister and Rose giggled, embracing Juleka. Luka returned his attention to Marinette. “Sorry about that”

“It’s ok… I-” She started, looking at his thin lips. “Will you kiss me if I want to? Because I think I do...”

“You do?” he asked, and she shyly nodded and he smiled softly, making her heart flutter.

She closed her eyes and he leaned closer to give her a sweet kiss on her cheek. She pouted a little, in disappointment, but he told her that, if she really wanted to kiss him, that would be the perfect excuse to meet him again and make it more special, like a beautiful lady like her deserved. Marinette understood his reasoning and agreed with it, despite the slight disappointment she felt she would have to wait a few days to get the chance to kiss him. Nevertheless, both of them happily smiled while their fingers remained interlaced, chatting and enjoying their time together the rest of the flight, until the plane landed and they had to unavoidably say their farewells.

“Thank you for everything, Luka. I forgot how scared I was of planes thanks to you and- I’ll see you soon?”

“I really hope so. I still owe you something, right?" He winked and she blushed happily. Luka gave her a final discreet and quick kiss on her knuckles. "Gosh- I miss you already...” He added, and Marinette felt the urge to cry. She dropped her bag to hold him in a needed embrace. He gladly reciprocated her gesture. Despite neither wanting to separate, they forced themselves to. "I hope I see you soon, Marinette"

"Me too, Luka…" she wiped her tears and waved, as the band started walking away.

When the arrivals doors opened and all the camera flashes blinded her, she understood why Kitty Section members always wore sunglasses in airports. They were more popular than she could have expected. She understood why he had refused to kiss her outside of the plane, but he still saluted her before disappearing in the multitude of fans and paparazzis.

On the other side, Sabrina, Audrey Bourgeois’ assistant, waited for her. She had almost forgotten about her own business. But now, she found the motivation she had lacked. If she was willing to be with Luka, she had to become the best. She wanted to make a name of herself, more than ever. And her meeting with Luka certainly boosted her confidence.

Unexpectedly, her trip to NY had already become one of her most memorable experiences yet. And it had just started! She couldn't wait to spend the rest of the week in the city.

[montosmadman]

I was tagged by @soy-celeste ages ago. This was hard but also super rewarding because I really got to take a deep dive in the murky depths of my own music library. Thanks for thinking of me, Cata💕

Task: choose TEN SONGS that describe your personal aesthetic / how you see yourself. Bonus points if you write a little explanation for each song, that‘s not a must though.

List under a read more because it turned out really long and includes some very personal and possibly triggering mental health stuff.

I'm tagging @capitanogiorgio @hendos @furiousflamewolf @checoswin and @diegoalvesisgod

1. Nakashima Mika - 僕が死のうと思ったのは

The title loosely translates to "The reason I thought I'd die" or "The time I thought I'd die". Yes, I went there right off the bat.

Let's get something straight: I'm not suicidal. I have never been actively suicidal, despite struggling with depression and anxiety most of my teenage/adult life. However, what this song captures for me is the feeling when you're not actively thinking about killing yourself, but you do have this empty feeling when you think there's no point for you being alive. And that's something I'm very familiar with.

There are a couple lines I wanna highlight, even though the whole song hits me very hard whenever I listen to it:

その木漏れ日でうたた寝したら、虫の死骸と土になれるかな

If I lie down beneath the sunlight streaming through the trees, will I become like the dirt and insect remains?

あなたのような人が生きてる世界に少し期待するよ

If people like you are living in this world, then maybe it’s alright to hope a little too.

The first line does what I talked about to above: it's the feeling when you just lie down and wonder if anything would change if you just disappeared. The second line -- last one of the song -- has more hope. It's when you find a reason to believe in the future and realize there is still a reason to live. Personally, I'm trying to hang very hard on that last thought even when the world seems to be against me.

(Full translation in a pinned comment under the Youtube video)

2. The Ark - Little Dysfunk You

No essay here. I just needed to have The Ark on the list because they're the official soundtrack of my life, the first band whose album I bought myself, and who taught me it was okay not to fit in. I even have a tattoo that says "a little dysfunk" because my best friend and I have been relating to this song long before either one of us realized we weren't neurotypical. It's the very dysfunctional ode to our friendship, and I love it.

3. Elton John - Rocket Man

I feel like this might be a universal experience growing up neurodiverse and/or an outsider. You spend years feeling like you're alone in space, on another planet, and you want to connect with people but at the same time know that once you come back, you still won't be the person others want or expect you to be. The challenge is to accept that and realize it's okay and you don't need to change yourself for others. And it really is hard when you're raised in a society where the odds are stacked against you.

4. Sanni - Jos mä oon oikee

Look, I'm giving you something in Finnish too!

Sanni is one of the Finnish artists whose breakthrough I originally missed because I was living abroad. I only properly discovered her a couple years after moving back, when I was driving a lot for my work and hence listening to the radio much more than I used to. Her songs just kept standing out from the rest: her lyrics had this amazing depth even when she was singing about mundane stuff -- like, she was finding these painful truths I hadn't ever spoken but felt very clearly.

That said, I had to choose the one song that's actually very upfront with this idea of being an outsider and not feeling like a part of this world. The title translates to "If I am real" and that pretty much sums it up. It's a song about feeling lonely in the middle of a crowded room, feeling like no one sees you or cares what you do. I personally have this habit of taking a step back and observing people rather than getting involved -- and even when I do, it rarely feels like it's really me out there, because I'm so used to masking and acting like everyone else just to fit in, you know?

I'll finish this off with my favourite verse, translated by yours truly. The last line especially hits home super hard no matter how many times I hear it.

Rautatieasema maanantaina ruuhkaisa Kaikilla tuntuu olevan kiire ja suunta Mä oon ulkopuolella vaik seison sisällä Jos oon jo kotona miten voi olla koti-ikävä

The railway station on Monday is crowded Everyone seems to be in a rush and have a direction I'm outside even though I'm standing inside How can I feel homesick when I'm already home

5. Shobha - Last Exit To Freedom

Full disclosure: Degrassi has been one of my comfort series for many, many years. When this song was first introduced in Next Class, it hit me really hard because it was woven into this whole storyline about depression and suicide, which at the time spoke to me a lot. I repeat, I have never been suicidal, but I do get the headspace that could drive people into it.

However, listening to it again now, it's mostly the message of hope that shines through to me. It's a song that can take two very different readings depending on what your own baggage is. And the series actually acknowledges that later on, which I think is not only beautiful but also extremely important.

There's empty places in my life and I need to breathe There's empty spaces on the map waiting there for me

I've never felt more free than when I actually drop my responsibilities and just go where I want to go. I need that space to breathe, and that's why it has always been such a relief when I could just pack up and start over in a new place. Some might call it running away from my troubles -- and they wouldn't be completely wrong -- but that doesn't change the fact that I've always valued my own freedom above any arbitrary societal norms.

6. Scandinavian Music Group - Näin minä vihellän matkallani

SMG is another one of those bands I grew up on and have seen live several times, so they needed to be here. This song is more on the "aesthetic" end of scale than how I see myself. In fact, I've many times hoped I could be like the narrator of this song. I'll give you a couple of verses to explain:

Kun minulta viedään kaikki Autan kantamaan Ja kun lopulta kaadun Teen sen näyttävästi

When everything's taken from me I'll help them carry it And when I finally fall I'll do it with a flair

Minä vihellän matkallani Näin minä vihellän matkallani Jos sen on oltava niin Olkoon sitten niin

I'm whistling on my journey See how I'm whistling on my journey If this is how things have to be Then so be it

It's this carefree attitude. Laughing in the face of hardship and controversy. There's another amazing line about getting back to the saddle after you fall and swearing you'd do it all over again. I've never been able to do that, because I carry all my old failures and pains so close to the surface, and could never just shake them off with a shrug, no matter how minor.

But on another level, I keep hearing from people who I thought knew me that I don't seem depressed. And who can blame them: on the outside, it probably looks like I bounce back from hardships really fast, because I'm so used to masking my issues that the moment I'm physically capable of doing it, I will. So you might say this song is a picture of my outer self, though it hardly mirrors what's really going on.

7. Queen - Don't Stop Me Now

I'm a firm believer that if my life was a teen movie, this is the song I'd have playing in the final scene where I'd just go "fuck that" and started dancing with @mirkwoodstock in the middle of the parking lot of something. It's my ultimate party anthem, the one that always has me dancing and singing along no matter where I am.

Back when we were at the university, Nanna and I used to go to this rock'n'roll club in town and they'd always play Don't Stop Me Now close to the end of the night, and it really became our song. Like, no matter how shitty I felt, when it came on, I'd be there, and so would she. And that's why it also deserves to be on the list.

8. Blind Channel - Died Enough For You

Throwing a rare newer song into the mix. The moment I heard this song, I knew I'd be listening to it a lot. There's also an acoustic version if you're not a fan of the genre or if you just wanna have a different perspective. Blind Channel is also representing Finland in Eurovision next week, and I'm living for it.

Advertising aside, Died Enough For You takes me to some really dark times in my life. I've been in relationships, both romantic and not, where I've been carrying the other person and giving so much of myself, risking my own mental health (which was not that good to begin with) and not getting much in return. There comes a point where you have to prioritize yourself and admit that dragging yourself into the same abyss is not going help anyone. Unfortunately, usually it takes more strength to admit that and leave than to stay in the relationship that's hurting you.

I'm still talking to some of these people, but I've learned to give myself a permission to sign off when I notice that by helping them I'm only hurting myself more. Someone else's wellbeing cannot be my responsibility when I'm struggling to keep myself afloat. And I truly hope everyone who is supporting me also knows that.

9. Aqua Timez - 真夜中のオーケストラ

Title translates to "Midnight Orchestra". Yes, it's from Naruto. I discovered it back when I was still more involved in anime fandom stuff, and fell for it again year ago when I binged the anime when to lockdowns started, because I needed an escape.

And what an escape it was. Have you ever heard a song and immediately went "I need a tattoo of this", or is that just me? I'm probably not going to get a tattoo because I don't trust non-Japanese artists to get the kanjis right, but the song still captures something very real about loneliness that's not really visible but still very much there. Like, the moment when you meet a person you can truly relate to and for the first time realize you'd been feeling lonely all that time. That's what this song describes to me.

Below are a few verses towards the end of the song. I've bolded the one that first caught my attention (and which I still have as the title of my Japan sideblog).

真夜中の詩が叫んだ「僕ほんとうは独りが　嫌いだ　大嫌いだ」 独りぼっちで　生きてゆけてしまうなんてこと

The song of midnight cried out "I truly hate being alone more than anything" I hate to go on living completely alone…

幸せなんて　小さなスプーンで掬えるくらいで充分なんだ 分け合える人がいるか　いないかだけ

All I need is being able to scoop happiness with a tiny spoon so long as I have someone to share it with

(Full translation)

真夜中の詩は叫ぶよ「僕ほんとうは　僕ほんとうは　淋しかった」 ��陽の眩しさに　かき消されても

The song of midnight cried out "I was truly, truly… lonely" Even if I were to be erased by the sun's radiance

10. Jenni Vartiainen (Apulanta) - Mato

This song, named "Worm", was originally released by Finnish rock band Apulanta in 1997. The lyrics, while they might make sense as individual statements, are basically gibberish when you combine them into one piece and try to understand the meaning. There is none. Anyways, the version I chose is a remake by another artist, first performed on the Finnish version of The Best Singers format. It doesn't make any more sense, I just like it better because Jenni is hot and she made it so much fun.

And the reason it's on this list? Welcome to my brain, folks! Sometimes, especially when I'm overwhelmed by lots of external stimuli, my mind tends to just wander wherever the hell it pleases and make connections even I don't get. It also likes to forget the stuff I said just a second a go, so I can switch subjects on the go without even noticing. It's very soothing to have music that doesn't require me to make those connections when that happens.

And now, I shall close this massive post with the first verse of this masterpiece:

Minä tahdon ulos, tahdon ulos kattilasta Minä tahdon pelastaa vielä sinutkin kiehumasta Minä tahdon lentää ulos vessan ikkunasta Minä tahdon tietää kaiken teidän karkkimaasta

I want out, I want out of this kettle I also want to save you from boiling I want to fly out of the toilet window I want to know everything about your candy land

Stay safe and take care of yourselves my dears💕

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 33: Who Dares Enter the Library!?

Here comes a new episode of this fanfic inspired on Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders and Joan S. It is the first episode after “Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux”. I had this episode finished since last Wednesday. I didn’t want to release it yet as I wanted to get over with the Eurovision thing first. But in the meantime, the episode was released and [SPOILER ALERT, DONT READ FURTHER UNTIL YOU’VE WATCHED THE SANDERS SIDES EPISODE] we got Deceit’s name in it. Of course I wanted to include it in the fanfic as soon as possible, and it was fortunate that this episode features a scene where I could fit in the revelation more organically, and I added an extra scene featuring that revelation. As you know if you’ve followed the story for some time, it’s been ages since this fic got away from canon. It only follows the canon up to Embarrasing Phases, then later a little bit of Selfishness v. Selflessness part 1 was retconned in the story. But the rest is completely ignored in this story, if something canon had to be added, like Remus, it was added with an alternate fanon storyline totally different from canon. That means that Deceit’s name revelation won’t be a mimic of the canon, it just wouldn’t have fit in. I hope I could make justice to the revelation in this alternate universe. And with this said, let’s go with the episode, which I hope you enjoy. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Since Logan said goodbye to Patton, he hasn’t shown up in the Mind Palace. That was three weeks ago and Thomas has started showing signs of losing his capacity for logical thinking, and he’s also started losing pieces of knowledge that he had well learnt and secured in his mind. Deducing that Logan’s physical integrity may be compromised, Patton has to break his promise to Logan and tell them what happened, and they all will have to follow him through the front door in Logan’s room to wherever he’s gone, to check if he’s all right and rescue him if he needs to.

WARNING: There’s a slight horror scene featuring a chase by a monstrous creature. Lots of romantic logicality and dukeceit. There’s also a scene where one of the main characters is on the verge of death.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is in the kitchen, cooking something]

THOMAS: Okay… Oof… if only I remembered where was the recipe for these pancakes… I think for one person it was… eleven eggs, one cup of flour and eighty tablespoons of sugar?

[Thomas adds these measures into a bowl, then tries to mix it but the resulting syrup becomes impossible to work with]

THOMAS: I guess it wasn’t. And I was thinking on going on MasterChef to boost my popularity… Gordon Ramsey would bake me if he saw my cooking expertise right now…

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: And what’s weird is that I was going so great with my cooking learning, and I suddenly lost it. Maybe it’s stress or something, I don’t know… But what I know is that Patton would kill me if he saw this mess… [face of realization] Wait, maybe Patton can lend me a hand. He’s become a top chef with breakfast cooking. I hope he can help me, I’m gonna need it if I want a proper breakfast. Patton! Patton, could you come here, please?

PATTON: [rising up] Hi, Thomas. How may I… [noticing the mess in the kitchen] what… is going on here, kiddo? Did the blender go crazy or something? Or are you trying to blend in with the kitchen, somehow? Cause you’re covered in… whatever you were trying to make.

THOMAS: I know, sorry, I made a mess in the kitchen and I need your help.

PATTON: But Thomas, I thought you were becoming an expert on cooking, especially… pancakes? Is that what you were trying to make? But… kiddo, you already have plenty of experience with pancakes, you make them at least twice a week. You should already know this recipe by heart.

THOMAS: I know, Patton. After so many times making them, one would think that I would have learned how to make them. But for some reason, I can’t, Patton. I’ve just turn into a mess of a cook.

PATTON: Well, I can help you with the recipe if you want.

THOMAS: That’s exactly why I called you, Patton, any help is appreciated with these pancakes.

[Roman, Virgil and Chris rise up]

ROMAN: Did someone say pancakes?

THOMAS: Morning, guys.

VIRGIL: May we join in, Thomas? We haven’t had breakfast yet and I’m in the mood for a family gathering.

CHRIS: Me too. Besides, I never tried pancakes before.

THOMAS: Well, you’re in for a treat, then, Chris. I love them with any kind of topping, but the best is motor oil without a doubt.

[All the Sides look at Thomas with a face of disgust]

ROMAN: Thomas, are you okay? What you have just said doesn’t make any sense. Motor oil on pancakes? That’s disgusting!

CHRIS: Not to mention poisonous. It sounds as if Remus had suddenly possessed you… Yuk.

THOMAS: What? It totally makes sense to me. The most logical topping for pancakes is grease oil pancakes. Everybody knows that.

PATTON: Um… no, kiddo, you’re obviously wrong and that is not… [face of realization] logical… at all… [low voice] Oh no…

VIRGIL: Is there something wrong, dad?

THOMAS: Yes, Patton, what’s the matter?

PATTON: I… I had promised Logan that I wouldn’t tell you but…

VIRGIL: Speaking about Logan, where is he? I haven’t seen him in ages.

PATTON: Neither did I, son. Neither did I… For the past three weeks I haven’t seen him. And he made me promise I wouldn’t tell you, but… something’s wrong with him, I can feel it. I have to break my promise and I hope he’ll forgive me.

CHRIS: What is going on, granddad?

THOMAS: Yes, where is Logan?

PATTON: He wouldn’t tell me, Thomas. The last time I saw him, he was so concerned, so worried… He told me he had to go somewhere and he had no choice. He made me promise that I wouldn’t tell you and that I wouldn’t follow him, if you had heard how seriously he ordered me not to do that… Then… he gave me a kiss, a kiss that was full of angst and despair, as if he knew there was a chance that was gonna be his last chance to kiss me forever. Then he left through the front door of his room and locked the door behind him. I’ve been tempted to break my promise myself several times, but the door is locked, so I couldn’t open it without asking for your help, and I couldn’t tell you, so… I’ve been so worried ever since. Concern would have kept me awake every night. I only fall asleep because you do, Thomas. But despite sleeping every night, that hasn’t given me peace, cause I’ve been having horrible nightmares all these nights. Nightmares where Logan calls for my help and I don’t pay attention to him.

THOMAS: [a little angry] No wonder you’re having nightmares! You should have told me, Patton. Logan should have told me he was going away. Of course it’s so hard for me to follow recipes and perform logical judgments. My sense of logic is out of reach.

PATTON: That’s what scares me the most. He told me he was entering autopilot mode so that you wouldn’t have any problems in that regard. Something must have happened to him if not even autopilot can keep your logical functions intact.

ROMAN: Maybe we should go after him. Maybe he needs our help.

PATTON: [nervous with a face of full angst] But he was strict about that. He didn’t want us to go after him, no matter if he took a long time to come back. I really wish to do as you say, Roman, but what if, by doing so, we put Logan, or us, in danger? I… I don’t know what to do. God help me, I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore!

[Virgil hugs Patton]

VIRGIL: Worrying is my job, dad. Please calm down.

PATTON: I’m sorry, Virgil, it’s just that… he could be in danger because I waited too long to call for help, and on the other hand, I’m also betraying his trust because I told you and I’m willing to go after him when I promised him not to do so. Whatever I do, it makes me feel guilty, and it’s a horrible feeling.

VIRGIL: I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this all alone, dad. But you’re not alone anymore, so please, calm down. Breath like I taught you… remember, 4, 7, 8…

PATTON: Okay… thanks son.

ROMAN: Okay, while Patton does the breathing exercise, I think it’s time for an emergency meeting. We should call the others.

THOMAS: You’re right. Logan, Deceit, Remus, Honesty, could you come here please!?

[they all rise up, except Remus who pops up and of course Logan who doesn’t show up at all]

PATTON: [after breathing out for eight seconds and before breathing in for four seconds] Why did you call Logan? Obviously he’s not gonna answer.

THOMAS: I know, sorry, it’s the habit. I always call Logan in a meeting like this. It’s so weird having to tackle an emergency without him.

DECEIT: Where is Logan? What is going on here?

ROMAN: [motor mouth] In short, Logan is gone, we don’t know where he’s gone other than he’s gone through the front door in his room and he asked Patton not to tell us, forbidding him and us to follow him. But now Thomas is losing his sense of logic and now we think Logan could be in danger, so we’re pondering the possibility of following him to wherever he’s gone despite the fact that he seriously instructed Patton not to do so. [takes a deep breath] Is that clear?

DECEIT: Sort… sort of… I think… When did Logan go away?

PATTON: It was the very same night you two started dating.

REMUS: Three weeks ago, then? What could Nerdyman be doing out there for so long? I mean, I’ve had long wild parties in my life just like anybody else, but that’s the wildest party I’ve ever heard about!

HONESTY: Whatever it is, it is important or dangerous enough that he didn’t want us to mess about with it.

PATTON: I myself don’t care about the danger on myself. I just wanna go with him and check that he’s okay. But I don’ have the heart to ask you to follow me.

THOMAS: Of course we’re going with you, Patton. We all care about Logan too and certainly we’re not leaving you alone anymore.

CHRIS: Logan is my someday-to-be-grandfather-in-law. He’s my family just as much as you are, so you can count on my sword and shield to assist you, granddad.

ROMAN: Same on my part, Patton, my samurai sword is at your service.

VIRGIL: And I’m not leaving you either dad. We’re doing this together.

HONESTY: Logan risked his life in order to find a way to save mine. Of course I’m willing to return him the favor if he needs me.

DECEIT: He speaks for both of us, right Remus?

REMUS: [a little hesitant] Well… [after Deceit frowns at him] Of course, if it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Count on my Morningstar to assist you, Catboy.

PATTON: [a little emotional] Thank you so much, my wonderful kiddos. I love you all so much.

THOMAS: Of course. Now, enough talking. You said he left through the front door in his room, so let’s go to his room now…

PATTON: First, eat something, Thomas, you didn’t even make your breakfast and you can’t go anywhere with an empty stomach. [pulling them out] Here, I just made some cookies. I have cookies for everyone. It’s the only thing I’ve been doing for the past three weeks since it was the only way I could distract my mind.

THOMAS: [grabbing some cookies] Thank you so much, Patton. I’ll eat them on the way.

PATTON: Also, take these paper towels and clean yourself a bit. It’s impractical to go on a mission like that.

THOMAS: Thanks, dad… Now, if you’re ready… [waits, but Patton doesn’t interrupt him anymore] Okay, let’s go, guys.

[The gang sinks down, then they rise up in Logan’s room]

THOMAS: Well, here we are… wow, I’m starting to feel back to normal right now, all my knowledge of recipes has suddenly returned to my head. And I’m feeling so stupid right now over making such foolish mistakes with the pancakes…

HONESTY: Maybe it’s because now you’re physically closer to Logan and his influence reaches you better from his room.

THOMAS: Maybe… Okay, so, we need to go through the front door. [Thomas goes to the door and tries to open it, but it’s locked. He looks through the peephole] I can’t… I can’t see anything other than a weird indigo light, like some sort of bright fog… What the heck is out there?

PATTON: I don’t know, Thomas. None of us know what lies ahead of the others’ front doors, except Roman’s and Remus’ which is of course Sandersia.

THOMAS: So each of you have a different place outside of your front door? What do you guys have?

PATTON: I don’t think it’s the right moment to ask, Thomas. Let’s focus on Logan’s door for the time being.

THOMAS: Okay… Well, the door is locked, as you said, Patton. How do we open it?

PATTON: We cannot, Thomas. You, as the Mind Palace’s owner, are the only one who can summon a key that can unlock this door.

THOMAS: But I usually can’t summon things. That’s a thing usually only you, the Sides, can do.

PATTON: This thing in particular, you certainly can. Just imagine it in your hand and wish for it to be there with faith and conviction, and the key will come to you.

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll try…

[Thomas rises his palm, then grimaces as he looks at it, as if he was struggling, his face even goes red. In a matter of seconds, a small key appears on his hand]

THOMAS: [happy] It worked! I did it!

REMUS: Yes, you did it, but… next time, Thomas, there’s no need for you to put a face as if you were constipated on the toilet. I enjoyed the view, though, it was funny.

THOMAS: [frowning at Remus] Thanks, Remus, I’ll remember next time… Okay, time to open the door. I hope this key really works.

[Thomas inserts the key in the keyhole, then turns it and the door unlocks perfectly]

THOMAS: Yep, it worked. Let’s go, then…

[Thomas opens the door. Outside, he can only see the same indigo bright fog, although he sees a point of light in a distance]

THOMAS: That looks like a lighthouse of some kind in the middle of this fog… Okay, guys, that light seems important, so we’ll go straight there. It’s impossible to see in this fog, so don’t spread out, I don’t want anyone getting lost, got it?

PATTON: Got it, Thomas… But how will we get back?

THOMAS: We’ll leave the door wide open, so that the light inside can help us find it on the way back, although I hope we have Logan to guide us back when that moment comes.

[Thomas and the Sides get through the door. Then they all walk in a line towards the light. As they get closer, they realize the light comes from a huge dark building, tall and wide beyond view]

THOMAS: What… what is this place? It’s huge, I can’t see where it ends. Look, the light is just over a door… and there’s a sign on it. It reads… “Library”. Library? This is a library? What kind of library, and why didn’t Logan ever mention it?

[Thomas tries to open the door. It opens easily, and they’re greeted with a view of huge, endless shelves full of books in all directions. Thomas and the Sides enter the building]

THOMAS: So… so many books, but what’s in them?

[A huge tempest-tongue-like voice with a robotic touch, like the autotune or Cher effect, is heard]

VOICE: WHO DARES ENTER THE LIBRARY!?

THOMAS: Who… who’s there?

VOICE: I’m the Librarian and you are trespassing! This place is forbidden to you, so begone right now!

ROMAN: Forbidden? There are no forbidden places for Thomas. He’s the owner of the whole Mind Palace, whoever you are!

LIBRARIAN: FOOLS! Thomas especially shouldn’t be here! This place is dangerous for him, much more for all the rest of you! Begone, now!

THOMAS: I refuse to leave until you show yourself! Let us see you!

[A dark figure appears walking on top of one of the selves. At first they don’t recognize him, then Patton’s face lightens up]

PATTON: Logan! Is that you, Logan!? Thank God you’re fine, I was so worried!

[but Logan doesn’t answer. Soon Patton’s happiness turns into horror when they can see his face clearly. His eyes are two bright burning lights of an indigo color, and his skin is pail and gray. It’s like he’s become a mixture of his human form and his robot-puppet form]

THOMAS: Logan, what happened to you?

LIBRARIAN: I told you I’m the Librarian. I’m the owner of this place and this is my sanctuary of knowledge. Do not touch any of the books for all the knowledge of whatever has happened in your life, as well as your plans for the future, is written in these pages, and if you damage just one single book, you could be destroying invaluable knowledge from your own mind, with disastrous consequences. So, once again, begone.

THOMAS: If you’re not Logan, then where is he?

LIBRARIAN: Logan is part of me, he always was, and forever will be.

PATTON: What do you mean? Where is he?

LIBRARIAN: Logan and I are two faces of the same coin. We’ve always existed together. He always calls me when he needs some kind of knowledge or fact in your mundane conversations and I provide it from inside of him. Who do you think that gave him the power to inspect your memories by touching you? It was me. I’ve been watching him, witnessing how he’s been degrading himself little by little, seeing how much your emotional mess of a world has corrupted him. Now, he even thinks he’s in love. So disgusting. But I’ll take care of cleaning him up from these useless distracting thoughts. Under my control, he’ll turn back into what he always should have been, the clean emotionless logical aspect of Thomas, the only way he can be useful to anyone.

PATTON: Don’t you dare!

THOMAS: Who gave you the right to decide in someone else’s place what is good or bad for them?

LIBRARIAN: I know Logan better than anyone else. I know what’s best for him and I’ll make him do it even in spite of him if I must.

THOMAS: Seems you don’t know him so well if you want to push him back into his old life of denying his emotions. I won’t let you do this. The brain must always be connected with feelings.

LIBRARIAN: What an abhorrent aberration! Brains and feelings must never mix up. It’s disgusting and I won’t let it happen!

PATTON: Why don’t you let Logan speak for himself!? We want to speak to the real Logan, right now!

LIBRARIAN: Well, I guess I can let you say your last words to him… Be quick, though, every second I’m in touch with these feelings makes me sick.

[the lights in Logan’s eyes disappear and Logan looks at the others]

LOGAN: Patton, guys, what are you doing here? I told you not to follow me! I didn’t want you to see me like this!

PATTON: I know, Logan, but I had to, Thomas was getting affected by your absence, cause your autopilot is switching off. Please don’t be mad at me.

LOGAN: It’s okay, I understand, and I’m not mad at you, but this is too dangerous for you! I didn’t want you to go through this! This is a fight I should have done on my own!

THOMAS: If you knew this could happen, why did you come here in the first place?

LOGAN: I had no choice, I have to come here at least once a year to upload my new knowledge into the library, or else I would get overloaded and incapable of getting new content for you, and also your logical functions would be compromised if my memory bank got overflown. But I knew that here the Librarian that’s always been inside of me would be heightened to a point where he could take control of my whole self, and I always knew he wasn’t happy I started a relationship with Patton. I could feel him rebelling against it inside of me, and I knew he’d take his chance when I had to come here. I tried to fight him, but here, he’s too strong. I may be losing the fight… but he’s not in full control yet, though. I’m still fighting him. Although since you’re here, I could use some help from you, guys.

THOMAS: How can we help you?

LOGAN: You must… [his eyes start glowing faintly and Logan starts struggling to speak] …you must find the indigo book… it’s the only book in this library… that can help me right now…

THOMAS: The indigo book? But this place is huge, how can we find it among all these millions of books?

LOGAN: [still struggling, as the lights flicker in his eyes] Find… the catalog in the center of the Library… it will tell you… where the indigo book lies… you’ll find everything you need to know in its pages… Hurry up, please… I don’t know how long I can resist… Help… me… Patton… I… lov…

[the lights start glowing as bright as before and he stops struggling]

LIBRARIAN: Why do you insist on making this more difficult for yourself and your friends? I’m doing this for your own good, Logan! Stop fighting me! [to Thomas and the others] And you, don’t you dare listening to his words. I won’t let you get to the catalog! I’ll stop you by force if I have to!

THOMAS: It will not be so easy for you. [whistles as if calling a pet dog] Remus?

REMUS: [excited smile, would have wiggled his tail if he had one] Yes, Thomas?

THOMAS: Do you wanna have fun?

REMUS: [hopping] I’m always ready for fun!

THOMAS: [as if he was telling a dog to fetch a toy] Then go get him! But don’t overdo it. Remember that it’s still Logan’s body, don’t cause him any permanent damages.

REMUS: [pulls out his Morningstar and jumps off-screen towards the Librarian] Yeeeha!

THOMAS: Good boy! The rest of you, come with me. We need to get to the center of the Library and check the catalog while Remus distracts him. Let’s go!

DECEIT: Be careful, Rem!

REMUS: [off-screen singsongy voice, the sound of the Morningstar is heard bumping on something several times] Okay, sweetheart!

[Thomas and the Sides run away into the Library, going through the corridor past shelves and shelves]

ROMAN: This is so huge. How far is the center anyway?

PATTON: I’m not used to run for so long… I can barely breath.

VIRGIL: Keep going, dad… We don’t know for how long Remus will be able to keep the Librarian distracted. Maybe he’s started chasing us already.

THOMAS: If the center was too far away, Logan wouldn’t have sent us into this mission. He knows it’s possible, so we must keep going, guys.

DECEIT: It’s easier said than done, though…

[a voice is heard around the whole building]

LIBRARIAN: I command you to come back immediately! Or else I’ll make you pay for this, like your stupid green guy has just paid!

DECEIT: What? What has he done to Remus!?

HONESTY: You don’t wanna know, Dee! Keep running or you’ll go through the same fate, whatever it is! We’ll think about that later! He’s obviously chasing us right now, and who knows how fast he runs!

THOMAS: Look, guys! There’s a round room over there! Maybe that’s the center!

[Thomas and the Sides reach to that room. It has a round shape and many corridors like the one they came from end there. In the center, there’s a table with a huge folder. Thomas approaches the folder, trying to recover breath after the long run. The other Sides stand on the entrance of the corridor they came from]

THOMAS: This must be the catalog Logan talked about… Now what?

PATTON: Open that folder and look inside.

[Thomas opens the folder and reads the first page]

THOMAS: It’s an alphabetical index with the topics that are inside these books, with coordinates to find them.

PATTON: Then search for the indigo book Logan mentioned.

ROMAN: [pulling out his samurai sword] We’ll cover you up while you’re searching, Thomas. Hurry!

CHRIS: [pulling out his sword] I was waiting for the day where I would fight alongside you, father.

ROMAN: So did I, son, it will be an honor to share this battle with you.

[Thomas turns to letter I for indigo. Thomas keeps browsing through the different topics starting with letter I until he reaches the key word]

THOMAS: Here it is… but there are still several topics containing the word indigo… let’s see…

ROMAN: There he comes… [horrified, looking at what approaches them, which is not featured on screen] my goodness gracious… what’s that thing!?

CHRIS: It looks like a horrible creature… like one of those Eldritch abominations that appear in horror stories… Is that monster the Librarian!?

ROMAN: Whoever or whatever that is… we must buy Thomas some time… Let’s go get him!

CHRIS: I’m right with you, father!

[Roman and Chris charge towards the creature, sounds of fighting are heard off-screen]

THOMAS: Indigo book! There it is! Patton, grab some of that paper and that pencil to write the coordinates. Ready? Corridor R… Side C… Block P… Shelf F… Book R… Page M… Page? Why marking a specific page from a book in a catalog? Oh, whatever… Did you write it down, Patton?

PATTON: Yes, Thomas, everything.

[Thomas and Patton look around the room]

THOMAS: You see? Each corridor has a plate with a letter identifying it, and each side of the corridor has another letter identifying it… Here, this is corridor R. The left side has a C and the right side has a B, so it has to be on the left side of this corridor. Let’s go, Patton, before it’s too late.

VIRGIL: I’m going with you too, just in case you need protection. [to the other Sides] Guys, hold on as much as you can.

HONESTY: We’ll try, Virge. Now go.

[Thomas, Patton and Virgil enter corridor R, looking at the left side of the shelves. Every few shelves there’s a letter, starting with B, only omitting vowels]

PATTON: These must be the blocks. We must get to block P, so let’s get moving. If there are no vowels, it is the twelfth block.

[Thomas, Patton and Virgil run through the different blocks. After some running, they get to the block with the letter P]

THOMAS: Okay, the indigo book must be around here. My, there are so many books in this block…

PATTON: It’s good we got all the letters from the catalog to find it faster. It was shelf F. The lowest shelf is B, so it’s the fourth shelf starting from the bottom. And it’s the R book. Each book has a label on the spine with a letter on it. Again, no vowels. B… C… D… F… G…

[Honesty reaches them running]

HONESTY: Guys, you better hurry! Deceit asked me to go warn you when Roman and Chris started getting exhausted. The creature is too strong and they’re running out of strength to fight.

THOMAS: We almost have it, Hon…

[A huge yell is heard from the distance, then they hear ferocious beastly growling sounds approaching them]

HONESTY: That was Dee! The creature must have defeated them! And now it is heading this way! Hurry up!

PATTON: P… Q… Here it is, R!

[Patton picks up the book from the shelf and gives it to Thomas. At that precise point, the growling suddenly stops and there is a tense silence]

HONESTY: Where… where did that thing go? He was almost here!

VIRGIL: This silence is even worse than the beastly sounds…

THOMAS: Maybe it’s because I got the book and he’s afraid to damage something important for him if he attacks us upfront. Look, there are several bookmarks in the book, each with different letters. Again, no vowels… What is it with this place and vowels? What letter was it, Patton?

PATTON: It was M.

LIBRARIAN: [from the top of the shelf they got the book from] Stop right where you are! Don’t open that book! You’re gonna doom us all!

THOMAS: I hope you don’t expect us to believe you, Librarian. I bet the only one to be doomed by the book is you!

VIRGIL: You, monster! What have you done with our friends!?

LIBRARIAN: I didn’t kill them if that’s what you’re thinking! I just rendered them unconscious and expelled them out of the Library back into Logan’s room!

VIRGIL: Yeah, right, and you needed to turn into a beast just to do that!

LIBRARIAN: I was just trying to scare you out of here, I don’t want you to mess everything up!

THOMAS: Here it is. Bookmark M.

[Thomas opens the book]

LIBRARIAN: [distressed] I said don’t do that!

THOMAS: Or else, what? You’ll turn into a beast again and “scare” us all? Go ahead and try, if you don’t care about ruining any of the books, that is.

LIBRARIAN: Fine… suit yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

[Thomas reads the page. Then, he shows a face of shock]

LIBRARIAN: I warned you.

PATTON: What’s the matter, Thomas? What’s in that page?

THOMAS: Patton… we can’t do this… it’s too dangerous.

PATTON: [snatching the book from Thomas’ hands] Let me see this! [Patton reads aloud] Should the Logical Side lose control of the Librarian, the only way he can regain control back is for the Light Master to force him into total inhibition until all signs of life are gone from him, then bringing him back to life. It acts as a reset action that would restore him back to normal. During inhibition, if the Logical Side didn’t put himself in autopilot mode beforehand, Thomas could lose his logical thinking capacities and become completely demented until inhibition is reverted. Autopilot prevents this from happening. Fair warning though that if not performed correctly or inside the window time of five minutes after total inhibition, the Logical Side would perish permanently. Should that happen, a brand new Logical Side, completely unrelated to the old one, would immediately be generated from the Mind Palace Core to assume Thomas’ logical functions. [Patton looks at Thomas with a face of horror] This… is so dangerous… Logan could literally die.

THOMAS: And I don’t know how to do this. Logan was the one who advised me on how to use my Light Master powers and I can’t count on him to help me. Without him, I’m lost. And I don’t have the heart to put him in danger.

LIBRARIAN: Give it up. If you try to do this, you’ll kill Logan. Let me take care of him. I assure you I will treat him right in this Library. He won’t even miss you when you’re gone and he’ll be fine, as long as I tell him what is fine for him.

PATTON: Falsehood! [Thomas and the Sides look at Patton in shock after hearing Logan’s trademark word on Patton’s lips] With you controlling him, he would be nothing but your slave! If you really cared about Logan, you would let him live his life the way he wants, with me, with all of us! Because we’re the ones who would really treat him right, just by letting him be himself. You just want to mold him to your own idea of what Logan should be, no matter how shoehorned that idea may be. It’s that fake Logan you care about, not the real one. You’re just jealous of his happiness because you can’t understand feelings at all! You’ll never be able to understand love or hate, happiness or sadness, and because of that, you will always be inferior to Logan! No matter how powerful you think you are, without emotions, you are nothing! Thomas, we must do this.

THOMAS: Patton, are you sure? We could kill him! It’s too big of a risk!

PATTON: While he’s the slave of that thing, he’s as good as dead anyway, eternally suffering after his yoke. This creature is even worse than the Dark Master himself. At least the Dark Master had a basic understanding of feelings, even if he used it for evil. I will not have Logan going through that hell. We must set him free, one way… or another, however painful it may be.

THOMAS: But I don’t know if I can do this.

PATTON: Thomas, I have faith in you. You have already learned enough of your Light Master powers to do a great deal of things and you’ve become really powerful. Maybe you don’t believe in yourself in that regard, but I do believe in you. Just enter Light Master mode and you’ll know what to do. I’m rooting for you, kiddo.

[Patton gives a father-like kiss on the forehead to Thomas and the brightest comforting smile he can come up with given the circumstances. Thomas gives a slightly emotional smile to Patton]

THOMAS: Okay, I’ll do everything I can. It’s good that Logan had entered autopilot mode beforehand. At least he had the vision to do that.

PATTON: Or maybe his intuition told him this could happen and he wanted to be ready. Which is a proof that even Logan has faith in you. He knew that you have what it takes to save him. If you don’t want to trust me, trust him.

THOMAS: [sighs and closes his eyes] Okay… [opens his eyes, they’re now blue] Then let’s do this.

LIBRARIAN: No, I demand you to…

THOMAS: Be quiet, Librarian! I’m the one who demands you to release Logan, right now! This is your only warning, leave him in peace or be ready for the consequences!

LIBRARIAN: Never! He’s mine now! You don’t have what it takes! I’m not afraid of you and I’ll never set Logan free!

THOMAS: You asked for this, then. I said, get out of him, now!

[Thomas points at the Librarian and it’s as if an invisible hand pulls from him and throws him down from the top of the shelf, falling on the ground]

THOMAS: Get out of Logan’s body, right now!

[the Librarian’s body starts shaking violently]

PATTON: The power of Patton compels you!

[everyone looks at Patton]

PATTON: Sorry, I got carried away…

[Thomas keeps pointing at the Librarian. His violent convulsions slowly start getting weaker]

LIBRARIAN: Stop! I’m getting weak… I’m losing myself… I don’t wanna go… Please… I beg… [singing weakly, his voice slowly gets weaker and weaker] Daisy… Daisy… Give me your answer do… I'm half crazy… All for the love of…

[the singing and the convulsions stop, then, the bright eyes slowly turn off and Logan’s skin loses it’s gray silvery tone, to be replaced by white pail. Logan looks weakly to Thomas with a peaceful expression, he mouths a “thank you” without strength to emit any sound, then he gets still with that same expression of peace looking at Thomas, as if he had just died]

PATTON: Logan!

[Patton jumps to Logan’s body]

PATTON: He’s cold as marble stone! I think he’s dead! Now, you have to revive him, quickly! Five minutes starting now!

[Thomas starts struggling. For the next two minutes, nothing happens]

VIRGIL: Oh, God, I hope he can do it…

PATTON: He can do it! Come on, Thomas! Logan, if you can hear me somehow, fight to come back! Please, don’t leave me!

[Thomas still struggles. Then, a white spark comes from his hand and lands on Logan’s chest. He has a violent convulsion. His skin recovers some color for a second, then reverts back to pail]

PATTON: Something happened there. You can do this, Thomas. How long do we have left?

HONESTY: [looking at his phone] Less than two minutes.

[Thomas struggles even harder. A spark bigger than the previous one jumps from his hand and hits Logan. He has another violent convulsion. He breaths for a second, but then stops breathing again]

PATTON: Let me help you, Thomas. Perhaps the energy of two can be strong enough to bring him back.

[Patton kisses Logan’s forehead, then approaches Thomas, touches his shoulder and concentrates. A light blue aura surrounds both of them. Thomas emits another spark, this one of a light blue color and dramatically stronger than the previous ones which impacts on Logan. This time, he starts having continuous convulsions, as if he was being electrified]

PATTON: Come on, Logan. Fight for me… Don’t leave me alone…

[the convulsions keep going for two minutes, then he stops shaking. There are no visible signs of life from him]

PATTON: Lo… Logan?

HONESTY: The time is up. The five minutes are gone.

[Patton looks at Logan with a face of horror and tears start falling down his cheeks]

PATTON: This can’t be! Logan!

[Patton runs to Logan and holds to him, crying]

THOMAS: [Also crying, his eyes have turned back to brown] I’m sorry, Patton. I swear that I tried my best…

[then suddenly, Logan starts coughing and struggling to breath, and Patton quickly retreats. The coughing stops and Logan opens his eyes weakly, then notices Patton next to him. Patton is too stunned to react]

LOGAN: [weak voice] I was… I was being dragged into the Mind Palace’s Core light… when an angel approached me… an angel with a blue polo shirt, a gray cat hoodie around his shoulders and a bright heart that shone into his chest, so full of love it was overwhelmingly heartwarming, it could compete with the Core itself in brightness… He told me he still needed me and grabbed me back…

[Patton starts laughing and crying like a baby at the same time, not able to say anything coherent, then hugs Logan, who weakly hugs him back]

VIRGIL: [crying emotional, his tears are black due to the eyeshadow] Thank goodness… Thank goodness…

LOGAN: [his voice is a little stronger, but still weak] Thank you, Thomas. I owe you my life… I knew if I lost control, only you could save me.

THOMAS: It was my pleasure, but I didn’t do all the work. I couldn’t have done this without Patton’s help. He’s the one who has really saved you.

LOGAN: I love you so much, Patton… When I was subjugated, the thing I feared most was for that love to get corrupted and lost… it was the only thing I didn’t want to lose, your love and the capacity to love. I didn’t want to turn back to what I was before… not ever…

[Logan tries to get up, but he finds it hard]

THOMAS: Hey, relax, buddy. Are you sure you can get up? You have just returned from death. Maybe you should rest for a while.

LOGAN: I don’t want to get up, I…

[with some difficulty, Logan first sits down, then puts himself on his knees and grabs Patton’s hands]

LOGAN: Patton, you are the man of my life. I don’t want to live my life with anyone else but you.

PATTON: Goodness…

LOGAN: I’m sorry I didn’t have time to get an aurum ring with a piece of a pure carbon crystal on it, but I hope my feelings for you are equally valuable for this proposal. Will you marry me?

[Patton smiles widely, a smile that could compete with the sun in brightness]

PATTON: Of course I will, Logan. Of course I will!

[Patton kisses Logan, then they both hug. Logan seems to lose stability due to the effort so he holds on Patton]

LOGAN: I’m so happy now. I’m sad I’m not strong enough to show you right now, but I am…

PATTON: Don’t worry, my heart can show happiness enough for two. Now, rest. Here, lie on my shoulder.

[Logan lies on Patton’s shoulder while Patton pets his hand sweetly]

HONESTY: [to Thomas, whispering] Hey, you, the chemical engineer… What did Logan say he wanted his ring to be made of?

THOMAS: [emotional] A ring made of gold with a diamond on it, of course… I’m so happy for you two…

VIRGIL: Okay, guys. It will be best if we get out of here now.

LOGAN: You don’t need to worry anymore, Virgil. The Librarian as you knew him no longer exists, he’s been, sort of… formatted, and now I’m the one controlling him. He won’t be a cause for trouble anymore and this place is safe again.

VIRGIL: Glad to hear that… but still, we should go back to your room right now. I wanna check that the others are fine.

[Virgil summons a wheelchair]

VIRGIL: Here, obviously I wouldn’t make you walk all the way there in your condition, sit on that and dad can carry you.

LOGAN: Sounds good. And don’t worry too much, Virge. I saw everything the Librarian did and he didn’t kill the Sides. At least in that regard, he was true. But you’re right, we should check they’re in good shape, so let’s go.

[Patton and Virgil help Logan stand up and sit on the chair]

PATTON: Are you comfy here, my love?

LOGAN: If you’re by my side, I’ll be comfy anywhere.

PATTON: I didn’t know you could be so romantic.

LOGAN: Now I have no hindrance to express my feelings. But don’t get too accustomed to it. At work, I’ll still be wearing my necktie of seriousness, cause Thomas will need me to be serious.

PATTON: That’s fair. I’ll get to enjoy the sweet version of you all by myself.

VIRGIL: Are we ready to go?

THOMAS: Just a second, guys, let me replace the indigo book where it was.

[Thomas puts the book on the shelf. He notices a piece of paper that has fallen on the floor]

THOMAS: What’s this?

LOGAN: Thomas, don’t read that. It is a piece of knowledge that could get damaged if you manipulate it. Just put it back on its shelf.

THOMAS: I don’t think it could do any harm, it’s just a little note…

[Thomas reads the note]

THOMAS: Oh… wow…

VIRGIL: What is it?

THOMAS: It is a note that apparently belongs to the indigo book. It must have fallen when we got the book in a hurry. It’s an appendix related to the process we’ve just followed and some secondary effects related to Logan.

LOGAN: [sighs] I didn’t want you to read that cause I didn’t want you to worry about me. But I said that knowledge can’t hurt you and I’ll stand by it. Tell the others.

THOMAS: It says that, should the process be performed, the Librarian’s reset will mean that the Logical Side will lose his capacity of examining other Sides’ memories or transmitting his own memories to other Sides through touch.

LOGAN: Yes, I lost my capacity of examining you. But… it’s okay. It was a price I was willing to pay. A small price, indeed, for my freedom to love.

THOMAS: It also says that, in time, these abilities would progressively return to the Logical Side, but it’s unknown how long it would take for him to get to same level he had prior to the reset, it could range from days to years. Also, intuition may be temporally compromised to a degree, although this effect is expected wear off faster. All the rest of his cognitive functions will remain intact. I’m sorry, Logan.

LOGAN: It’s okay, Thomas. Don’t worry. At least it seems it won’t be permanent. And besides, if I couldn’t count on my hands anymore to help, I’ll use what I’ve always used best, my brains. We’ll be fine.

THOMAS: Okay. I hope so.

LOGAN: Now, let’s go home. We have a wedding to start preparing, right?

PATTON: Right. And this time, there will be no Dark Masters to spoil it.

VIRGIL: I hope so.

[Thomas puts the note inside the indigo book, then they all head back to the front door through a shorter path, guided by Logan. When they reach the door, they realize that the door has changed and now looks like Thomas’ front door. After opening, they discover it does indeed lead straight into Logan’s room, and the fog they had to cross earlier is gone. In Logan’s room, they find Roman, Chris, Deceit and Remus lying down on the couch, unconscious]

VIRGIL: Guys! Are you okay?

[Virgil runs to attend his husband and son. Roman is the first to wake up, but he pretends to stay asleep, putting his lips on kiss position, like waiting for Virgil to kiss him and wake him up]

VIRGIL: [sighs with a smile of relief] You, royal dork. [kisses him] Okay, done, I gave you a true love’s kiss to wake you up, sleeping handsome. Happy?

ROMAN: Your kisses will always make me happy, my love… [he rises up and shows an expression of pain] Ow, my head.

VIRGIL: Are you okay?

ROMAN: Everything hurts… but I’ll survive. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.

VIRGIL: You’ve done more than enough, Roman. Look who’s here with us thanks to your bravery.

ROMAN: Oh, Logan… Are you okay?

LOGAN: I’m okay. Thanks to you all, guys. I’m sorry I made you go through this.

ROMAN: It’s okay, that’s what fam’s for, right?

[slowly, the rest of the Sides wake up too]

REMUS: That guy took me by surprise… he suddenly turned into this beast and without fair warning he hit me and… I don’t remember anything else. If I had known, I would have released my tentacles to match theirs.

DECEIT: That creature was not terrifying at all…

LOGAN: It won’t cause any more trouble, thankfully. Now, since you were out when it happened, I want to announce to you all the news.

CHRIS: What news?

LOGAN: I have asked Patton to marry me, and he said yes.

CHRIS: [his face lightens up] Really!? I’m so happy! At last I’m gonna be able to call you grandfather for real!

LOGAN: And I’ll be proud to have you as grandson, boy.

REMUS: Um… Can I say something?

THOMAS: Wow, it’s the first time you ask for permission to say something, are you sure you didn’t get badly hurt by that beast? Okay, I was kidding, go ahead.

REMUS: I know that this is your moment and all that jazz, Logan, but, you’re planning a wedding and I thought that… it would be a shame to waste a ceremony just on one couple, when you can use it to join two couples, right?

DECEIT: Remus? What are you trying to say?

REMUS: I was thinking that… it would be great if we could kill to birds with one stone…

THOMAS: Of course Remus would be the first Side to use that saying…

REMUS: …and you married me the same day Logan and Patton married, in the same ceremony, a double wedding. If you accept me, of course, and if Logan and Patton don’t disagree.

DECEIT: But we’ve been dating only for three weeks. You didn’t even ask me to marry you, Remus, and you’re planning our wedding already?

REMUS: Well, it was just an idea that flashed through my head, and you know that I always say what goes through my head like that, especially when I really want to say it. So… what do you say, Dee? Will you marry me?

DECEIT: I… I don’t know… I mean, to be honest, we barely know each other. You don’t even know my name and…

REMUS: Well, that has an easy remedy. My name is Remus Sanders. What is your name?

DECEIT: [nervous smile] Wow… It’s been ages since I last shared my name… You remember well, right Virge?

VIRGIL: How could I forget? You opened yourself to me and trusted me your name. I wish I could have been able to correspond that act of trust.

DECEIT: But you have. You’ve kept the secret all these years and I thank you for that.

V

IRGIL: I did not even used it when we were both alone. It felt to me like profaning something sacred, you know?

DECEIT: Well, it’s not like you couldn’t have used my name in private with me. I’m no deity for my name to be revered as such. After all, that’s what I revealed it to you for.

VIRGIL: Okay, but still, your name inspired me such sensation, like I could break something if I spoke it aloud. Back then, I didn’t understand myself why… Now I think I do. You trusted me your feelings with that name and I didn’t want to break that trust in any way. I wish I would have understood earlier these feelings behind that revelation, Dee. Maybe things could have been different between us.

DECEIT: It’s not your fault, and besides, [looking at Remus] that’s probably how it was meant to be, after all. [sighs] Still, though, back then you were my only friend in the Dark Realm, the only one with whom I felt comfortable enough to share that secret. But when you were so oblivious about my feelings for you, in a way, I felt heartbroken, and I decided to hide my name ever since, because it reminded me of that moment. And that’s silly because you can’t run away from feelings just by avoiding using your own name, that’s stupid… Eventually, I had to face these feelings anyway, with our without my name in the equation.

VIRGIL: I’m so sorry I made you feel that way…

DECEIT: And now that Remus has asked me that question… I suddenly realized that I really wanted to answer it. In fact, I suddenly realized that I don’t have any reason to hide my name anymore. If there was a time where I felt belittled and useless and thought that I had to put a shield around myself to act all tough, hiding my true self from the others… that time has been gone for a long time now. I’m among friends now and I really want to break whatever is left from that shield and be myself. So, I’m gonna share my name with all of you, guys.

[everyone looks at Deceit in expectation. Deceit sighs, then takes a deep breath and speaks]

DECEIT: My name is Janus.

[there’s a silence in the room. Then they all smile at him]

THOMAS: It’s an honor to meet you… Janus.

JANUS: Wow, it feels so weird… it’s both a sensation of relief and ickiness… I don’t know if I’ll be able to get used to you calling me by my real name.

VIRGIL: Yeah, I know the feeling…

THOMAS: We’ll call you however you want. Your name is Janus, but you will always be our Dee in our hearts. I like your name, by the way.

JANUS: [smiles emotional] Thank you, Thomas.

HONESTY: If I may speak…

JANUS: Oh, are you going to…?

HONESTY: Yes. I’ve always known your name too, Janus, at least since we got unlocked from each other. Not surprising bearing in mind we share the same memories and for a long time the same body. I never revealed your name cause I knew how much it meant to you, and in solidarity with you, I also avoided revealing mine. It’s curious that even when we didn’t know about each other, I still didn’t want to reveal my name. Maybe back then you had an influence on me of some kind, who knows. The point is, that now that you’ve shared your name, I also want to share mine.

ROMAN: Oooh, what a day of revelations…

THOMAS: Roman, sush! Go ahead, Hon.

HONESTY: [with a posh British accent] Well, ladies and gentlemen…

ROMAN: What ladies…?

HONESTY: It is an honor to announce to all my beloved family members that my name…

[again, everyone looks at Honesty in expectation]

HONESTY: My name is Ian.

[everyone looks at Ian]

VIRGIL: I like that name.

THOMAS: Nice to meet you too, Ian.

IAN: Thanks, guys.

LOGAN: Oh, I think I understand the logic behind your names…

THOMAS: What?

LOGAN: Ian and Janus have been sharing the same body for a long time. They’ve been a Side with two faces. There is a deity in the Roman pantheon whose name is Janus, a two faced god that took charge of beginnings and endings, transitions and passages, and presided war and peace. That explains a lot of Janus’ name. And Ian… could very well be based on Ianos, the Greek version of the Latin Janus. It makes sense that, being the same Side in origin, they also share the same name origin, even if it came out in a different form for each.

IAN: Hadn’t thought about that. I only thought it looked cool to have a name so associated to British culture. Ian Flemming, creator of James Bond; Ian Chesterton, one of the Doctor’s first companions in Doctor Who; Ian McKellen, one of the best British actors and worldwide actors in general ever…

JANUS: Yes, it’s a cool name. I’m glad that we both share a name in a way, brother.

IAN: I’m glad too.

REMUS: Well, now that the introductions are over… Janus, I’m still waiting for an answer.

JANUS: [beat] Well, I told you that I don’t like weddings, remember?

REMUS: But you were lying… [voice of concern] right?

[Janus chuckles]

JANUS: Of course I was lying, you fool. I’ll be happy to marry you. What do I have to lose, anyway?

REMUS: Wheee! [Remus grabs Janus and spins around with him in his arms, they both laugh. Then Remus kisses Janus] I knew proposing was a good idea!

PATTON: As for marrying together… it’s okay by me, if Logan is not against it.

LOGAN: No, I’m not against it. It’s a family gathering after all, and you were right. It will be good to save resources and perform a single ceremony to wed two couples at once. So I’m okay with it too. It will make it even more special for us.

JANUS: Thank you guys.

ROMAN: I’m happy for all of you. And look at this, I’m gaining two new family members. Logan becomes my father-in-law and Deceit… I mean, Janus, becomes my brother-in-law. How much happy can a prince get?

[they all start congratulating the couples, while Thomas looks at the camera]

THOMAS: Well, all’s well that ends well. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[ending card]

[days have passed. Roman is in the royal castle of Sandersia, talking to his brother Roland]

ROMAN: …and this is all that happened.

ROLAND: Wow, Roman. You get adventures even without looking for them. I hope Logan is okay.

ROMAN: I would say that it’s the adventures who get us, but yes, you’re right, and Logan is much better now after these few days of rest… So, I was thinking if we could use the royal castle to perform the weddings.

ROLAND: [nervous] Oh, well… I don’t know if it’s a good idea. Of course, you’re the royal prince and your word would be my command but, still, I don’t think it’s a good idea.

ROMAN: Why? When I married we used the royal castle and, except for the Dark Master crashing the wedding, everything went just fine.

ROLAND: That’s different, you are the Royal Prince of Sandersia, therefore your wedding was a royal wedding. It was more than appropriate to perform it in the royal castle. But your friends are not royalty per se. It would be against protocol.

ROMAN: Well, Remus is my brother, and a duke, that’s nobility at least, and Patton is my husband’s father, he could be considered consort royalty too.

ROLAND: As I said, your word is my command and I’m just a regent prince… I’ll obey your instructions now and always.

ROMAN: Something makes you uncomfortable and I think it’s not protocol related. What’s wrong? Forget that I’m the Royal Prince of Sandersia and all that pompous stuff and speak to me, from brother to brother. Give me your real opinion and what you really want.

ROLAND: Well…

ROMAN: Come on, I’m your brother. You can trust me anything that bothers you and your honest opinion is important to me.

ROLAND: Okay… I’ll be honest with you, and I’m sorry. I have no problem to perform Patton and Logan’s wedding here… but I despise the idea of performing Remus’ wedding in this castle. I don’t wanna do that if I have a choice.

ROMAN: Oh… I should have known it was related to that.

ROLAND: I still don’t understand how you could have let him get so integrated in your group. Have you all forgotten that he tried to kill me? Does nobody care about my safety or about how I feel now?

ROMAN: I really understand your concern, and of course we care about you. You’re my brother, for Ethel Merman’s sake, how could I not care about you? But Remus is not the same as he used to be back when he did that. I’m sure he regrets having done all of that, and he doesn’t have any ill will against you anymore. I really wish you would give him a chance.

ROLAND: I don’t trust him. And being so unpredictable, Janus – was that Deceit’s name, you said? - shouldn’t trust him either. Who can tell that he won’t have another face-heel turn at any moment? He could turn against you at the slightest chance. He’s just like that, and I fear about your safety, just as much as I scared to death about mine. He scares me and I can’t help feeling that way, and if you had gone through what I went through, you would be too.

ROMAN: You’re saying this because you haven’t witnessed everything we’ve gone through with him. I’m telling you he’s really changed. If only you would give him a chance to prove it to you. Please, he’s my brother, Roland, just as much as you are. Couldn’t you do this… for me?

ROLAND: Wait, no, don’t look at me with the puppy face…

[Roman starts whining like a puppy with an over the top pouty face. Roland can’t help chuckling a bit]

ROLAND: That was a cheap shot.

ROMAN: [smiling like a kid] But did it work?

ROLAND: You already know it worked, it always did when you wanted to play with my toys when we were kids… [sighs] Okay… If he really means so much to you… I’m going to give him a chance to prove himself. But let it be known, I do this for you and not for him.

ROMAN: I love you, brother. What do you have in mind?

ROLAND: He will come over to this castle for a week. He can bring Janus if he wants. In fact I wouldn’t mind if all of you came here for the week, for a little vacation, if you’re not busy, of course. I will then have the chance to get to know him, and if I’m pleased with what I see, I’ll accept that he marries Janus here with Logan and Patton. Will that make you happy?

ROMAN: You have no idea, Roland. Thank you so much. You won’t regret this, you’ll see.

ROLAND: I’m regretting it already… I hope for your own happiness that he doesn’t mess everything up during that week.

ROLAND: He won’t. You’ll get to like him too, you’ll see.

ROLAND: I hope so, Roman. I hope so…

[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

WATSON.DE 22/10/19

https://www.watson.de/unterhaltung/interview/421417472-conchita-wurst-tom-neuwirth-rechnet-mit-esc-conchita-ab-hatte-keinen-spass?utm_source=main

Conchita Wurst gets rid of ESC-art figure: "I was unhappy"

Five years ago, Austrian Tom Neuwirth won the Eurovision Song Contest as Conchita Wurst. But the role of the eccentric diva with beard and wig did not fill him in the long run. Now he returns as a new art figure "Wurst" - with electric and brand new, male appearance. With ‘Watson’ he spoke about rebellion, crisis of meaning, thinking in drawers and finding and seeking personal freedom.

Watson: Tom, we know you as a conchita with a wavy wig and a floor-length dress. Why did you choose to show the public a "Wurst" page that we did not know before?

Conchita Wurst: I felt the need to evolve. Before that I moved too long in the same world for my circumstances. And by that I mean that I locked myself into a set of rules that reduced me to a color of my being. And I call this color the "President's wife".

President's wife?

A president's wife has a certain protocol and can not do many things. And through this years-long reduction of myself, I became unhappy. I understood that I need a challenge, something new. For years I was in the songwriting camp and I thank my record company that I was able to find out to be completely talent free in songwriting (laughs). And then I thought: why don’t I just do the music that I hear privately? And I love electronic music, I love Robyn and Björk. I have found a great team for the new album that understands me, my story and my vision. And although I did not write or compose the songs myself, it has become so much more authentic than much of what I've done before. Or closer to my life.

Did you have any concerns about taking a new path or did you care less about the opinions of others?

When it suddenly became clear what the details should look like, how each mosaic fits into the other, I no longer had the feeling that I had to think about it. I was really very egocentric (laughs). Of course, I'm happy about everyone who likes my music. But I understand that I just have to do more things for myself. Because it's my life - and that's so beautiful. And my manager always says: Only then is it better than perfect. So I'll just do it and throw one dart at a time. We will see which one gets stuck.

Is there a song that has a lot of heart and soul?

I can not commit myself to one. Many songs deal with a specific time in my life. I deliberately refrained from explaining the meaning of each in detail. For the people who hear the music, I do not want to force a picture on them. It's like having read a book and then watching the movie. Then your own world is suddenly gone. That's why I hold myself back and do not say that's what it's about and the other's about that. Because once the child is born, it's not just me anymore and I accept that. But let's put it this way: Every song is intense.

What is the basic message of your songs, like the very striking "hit me"? Do not let anyone restrict you?

Absolutely. Nobody has the right to decide about your life. And that's the point. And yes, many messages are similar to those that were important to me five years ago. By now it may have become a bit more concrete and I am spreading it with more self-confidence.

Were you uncertain in places?

Everyone doubts. But I've stopped apologizing, in public and with my friends. With one caveat: I would apologize if I make mistakes, absolutely. And I do that too. But this album and this whole process has brought me so much closer to myself.

"I was in a situation where I realized I'm not feeling well anymore, I'm not enjoying what I'm doing."

And there is only one way out.

Which one did you choose?

I've worked hard with myself, started therapy, talked to my family and friends, and worked things that were years back and were never properly pronounced. And of course you do not just hear nice things.

And then to take that, to apologize, try to do better, but also to accept that you can not do everything well - that was very liberating.

In what way?

I always try my best - but in some ways I'm just a bit too brisk. And sometimes I'm just a bit too nice. And to realize that as a whole, has given me a whole new sense of security. Because I suddenly knew better where my range of motion lies - what am I sure of and what is not. And knowing that means incredible freedom and that helped me to be more confident. Not only in terms of the music, but also my appearance.

"I stopped wearing wigs, some said it was just marketing, so I just say, F ... you all, I'm still me."

And even if the name changes - at the end of the day it's always wurst (not important). Whether I am more feminine or masculine now, always this kind of thinking - I've stopped thinking about it.

An easy process?

Not at all. Because when I finished the album and it went to the videos, I have even operated drawer thinking. I was so anxious to be masculine. Now I think: There are no rules anymore.

What has changed since your first album five years ago - and what has remained the same?

Of course, the sound has changed and also that I am now much more personal stories in my songs. The fire remained the same. Or let's put it this way: the fire has come back.

Was the flame extinguished?

I knew as a child: I'm a star. I did not care if anyone wants to hear that. And then I lost this self-evidence, I was uncertain for a long time. Now I know again: I am a star. But that's the only thing I can do (laughs). So I focus on it. And to have such a clear positioning and to say: I love myself incredibly, I think I'm gorgeous, I'm funny, I'm talented - to be able to say, but at the same time to say - you are incredibly beautiful and it is so inspiring to listen to you. There is room for everything and everyone. I had to learn that first. This has nothing to do with arrogance, if you think yourself great. I find myself incredibly great - but I also find others incredibly great!

Did you arrive at the end of your journey to self-fulfillment?

No, that's not over yet. There are enough situations in which I manipulate myself and discover: I'm not myself, I'm not relaxed. But jealous, angry, impatient.

Are you pondering a lot?

No, but hello! I think I've improved, just living for the moment. Just after the song contest things came one after the other. And now just sitting here to tell you about me, I can enjoy that. I do not do anything better than talk about myself (laughs). But now I'm anchored here right now and have no stress at all. I could not have done that a few years ago.

What about your plans to film your autobiography?

Of course they are still standing. I also really want to do a musical. I mean, my story: The little boy from the mountains goes to the song contest with a wig - that's a story (laughs)! But the near future also brings a lot of great things. For example, I'm really looking forward to my performance on 2 November at "WUK" in Vienna. Only the cool kids are playing and I'm so happy to be allowed to perform with my band. I'm very curious what people say about "Wurst". And of course I am happy to go on tour again, also in Germany. And if all goes well, I'm still traveling a bit in Europe, that could be very exciting. And then comes a small TV show. So I have a lot to do.

Speaking of which, "Queen of Drag" will start on ProSieben on November 14th. Why did you want to be there?

These kind of requests came very early in my career. But the parameters never were for me. But in that case I could not refuse. I mean, Germany's biggest private station, Prime-Time, 8:15 pm. And the format will both entertain and touch. And I have never seen this range of entertainment, talent, humanity. We laughed and cried while filming. We had such a great time. And of course, I hope that's what the audience sees. And even if not - that was such a beautiful experience for me, nobody can take that from me.

What wishes do you have for you this year as Conchita, Wurst and Tom?

I wish I had at least as much fun as last year. I wish that I spend enough time with my family and friends and also have enough time with me. I want to be challenged and creative and just keep going like before. That would be great. No such bold wishes, or (laughs)?

Conchita or Tom? Wurst!

New album "Truth over Magnitude"

Tom Neuwirth released his debut album "Conchita" in 2015, which took first place in the Austrian album charts and was awarded Platinum. Also his second studio album "From Vienna With Love" achieved gold status in the release week. On October 25, the 30-year-old will be releasing an electric album for the first time with "Truth over Magnitude". From the 14th of November he will be looking for the "Queen of Drags" again as Conchita Wurst, alongside Heidi Klum and Bill Kaulitz on ProSieben.

[youre-on-a-starship]

Part 3

Summary:  Yorktown attacked. Enterprise Destroyed. Estimated 1000 Dead. The headlines roll in as JAG requests your aid in the wake of Krall’s attack on Yorktown. You know that Pavel Chekov was on the destroyed ship, but you’re not sure what you’re more afraid of: his potential death or having to see him again after all this time.

Word Count:  1,048

Author’s Note:  If you were on the tag list for this and you have changed your URL since June, please contact me so that I can update my list! Alternately, if you’d like to be added to the list, hit me up!

Cyrillic Key:  Боже мой - Bozhe moy - Oh my god

Table of Contents

You left the JAG office fourteen hours after you entered it. There were hundreds upon hundreds of files. Today was just about sorting into teams to take files and start reviewing. You got to work on a team of six lawyers, only three of them JAG, and you were dealing with exactly 94 files.

You landed sometime yesterday afternoon. The flight only took eighteen days at maximum warp. A handful of long-range communication channels were reopened on day six. You learned that only a hundred and five crew members from Enterprise had survived.

Amy, miracle-worker that she was, got her hands on a full list of the crew members that were missing or dead, and informed you that Pavel’s name was not on the list. On day nine you contacted Anna with the news. She had received a call from Pavel the night before. He couldn’t talk long and she hadn’t been able to tell him you were coming, but he was safe and uninjured. You asked her not to tell him if he called back. If he was alright, there was no reason for you to meet.

Knowing now that Pavel was alive, you didn’t see the point in calling to find him. The channels were still terribly jammed with people trying to contact home, and there wasn’t enough urgency to tell him that you were coming. You doubted he even wanted to see you anyway.

You heaved a long sigh as you stepped out into the simulated morning air. Winter doesn’t exist on Yorktown, apparently.

“Y/N, are you coming out?” One of the JAG lawyers from your team - Richard? - approached and placed a hand on your elbow. “We’re going to one of the bars nearby.”

“Bar?” you asked incredulously. “It’s 0730.”

“Yorktown never really sleeps,” Richard said. “Too many transients. What do you say?”

You shook your head. “Sure, what the hell.”

“Don't worry, you’ll have enough time for a cat nap later on.”

“Sure.” You didn't believe him, but the prospect of a meal couldn’t be passed up.

“You see that big blue building over there?” Richard asked, pointing down the side of your head.

“Yeah.”

“The bar’s on the ground floor. If you want to grab us seats, I’ll find the rest of the team?”

“Sure,” you said again, rubbing your face and beginning your walk down the boulevard.

Had you been more awake, the beauty of the water features along the boardwalk would have seemed quite miraculous. But as it was, your chest ached with each breath and all you really wanted was a plate of something, anything really, and to get back to your hotel where you hastily left your belongings after being picked up by a JAG liaison at the ship’s port yesterday afternoon.

The bar was brightly lit and full of people. You smiled when you saw the number of mimosas in the room. If nothing else, you could have a good drink before bed.

There was a large table free in the middle. You waded between the groups of smartly dressed business people and Starfleet personnel.

As you placed your hand on the back of one of the chairs, you realized that someone was gaping at you from a high, two-seater table down the line.

It took you a minute to realize that this person was Pavel Chekov. He shared his table with a strikingly beautiful pale white woman with strong black marks down her face that disappeared up into her hair. She, too, was watching you, but her expression was one of curiosity and uncertainty.

You flared your nostrils and removed your jacket, draping it over the back of the chair. Before you could look up again, there was a hand on your shoulder.

“Vat ze hell are you doing here?” Pavel hissed in your ear.

“You sure move quickly,” you retorted, nodding at the woman at his table. “You nearly died what, three weeks ago? Trying to get laid already?”

“Okay, first of all,” he raised a finger in your face and you swatted it down, shrugging his hand off your shoulder. “It's not like zat, and second of all, it’s none of your business.”

“Then why are you telling me it’s none of my business?” You put your hands on your hips.

“Боже мой,” he gritted his teeth hissed again. “Vhy did I ewen come over here?”

“Hell if I know, I'm just trying to have breakfast.”

“Vhat are you doing here?” he asked accusatorily.

“I’m not here for you, Pavel, so don’t flatter yourself,” you held up a hand. “I got called in by JAG to help with the workload.”

“Vhy vould JAG ask for you?” Pavel crossed his arms over his chest.

“Aaliyah?”

Pavel blanched.

“Thought so. Well, she remembered me and when they started calling people in, she put my name forward.”

“Great,” he threw a hand up. “So you're not here to spy on me.”

“Spy on you? Get a grip, Pavel, you’re not worth spying on,” you spat, careful to keep your voice at a low volume. “In fact, as soon as I heard that you weren’t dead, I decided I wasn’t even going to contact you, so don't get fucking ahead of yourself thinking I jumped to get down here.”

Pavel growled low in his throat.

“Pavel?”

You both looked up, the woman he was sitting with stood a few paces away from you, watching protectively.

“Sorry,” he apologized to her, stepping away from you.

“I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to derail your breakfast,” you said as kindly as you could muster while glowering at the Russian. “My name is Y/N.” You stuck out your hand.

She just looked at it. “I am Jaylah.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” you said, dropping your hand.

“Y/N?”

You half turned and saw Richard approaching with your team.

“If you’ll excuse me, I want to have a meal and go to sleep,” you said, straightening your back and staring Pavel down.

“Be my guest,” he muttered turning and following Jaylah back to the table.

“That guy giving you trouble?” Richard asked.

“Not particularly, we just… we used to know each other. He was on the Enterprise.”

“Are you serious?” another one of the lawyers, Myrna, asked.

“Yeah. Anyway, let’s just eat.”

Tags:  @feelmyroarrrr @jefferson-in-the-tardis @why-this-eurovision-mess @spockmeup @cometoceantrenches @musikat18 @engagemythrusters @iwannabebrilliant @redshirtsupportgroup @icefire0 @phanofmanythings @texasblues @helraisingstar @panda-reads-stuff @nodramaaloud @marvel-imagines-yes-please @mrkrychek @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly

[selflife-hacks-blog]

Person Gone Blind After Wearing Contact Lens in Shower | Self Life Hacks

Person went blind after wearing a contact lens in the shower !

Keeping the contact lenses in while swimming and showering can lead to serious consequences: women who had this habit of doing so had developed a rare eye infection that left her legally blind in one eye, according to a new report of the case. The 41-year-old woman, who lives in the United Kingdom, went to the eye doctor after experiencing blurry vision, eye pain and sensitivity to light in her left eye for two months, according to the report, which was published today (July 17) in The New England Journal of Medicine.

(source)

She told doctors that she has been wearing the disposable, soft contact lenses and that she kept them in while swimming and showering, the report said. After suspected difference in the vision, she got her eyes tested and An eye test showed that her vision was 20/200 in her left eye, the threshold for being

"legally blind"

in the United States.

Fortunately, her right eye was not affected. Doctors after the careful examinations saw a cloudiness or haze in the women's cornea, the eye's transparent outer covering.

They performed various other tests and the eye test that uses a special dye to detect damage to this covering. During this test, any damage to the cornea will appear green when doctors shine a blue light on the eye

, according to the National Institutes of Health. The doctors noticed that a defect in the woman's cornea appeared green during the test. Samples from her eye were taken and were tested positive for Acanthamoeba keratitis, a rare parasitic infection of the cornea.

The infection is known to damage a person's vision and is tied to the use of contact lenses,

according to the report, led by Dr. Lanxing Fu, of the Manchester Royal Eye Hospital in the United Kingdom.

"Acanthamoeba is an amoeba that's commonly found in water, soil and air, and dirty places which are contaminated"

according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Contact lens wearers face a risk of contracting this infection if they engage in certain practices, such as disinfecting lenses with tap water or swimming or showering while wearing lenses

, the CDC said.

Though the woman in the recent case was treated with eye medications that cleared her infection. But she was left with vision loss in her left eye due to a scar on her cornea,

the report said. 

One year later, the woman underwent a partial transplant of her cornea, which replaced part of her damaged corneal tissue with healthy tissue from a deceased donor.

After the surgery, her left eye vision improved slightly but was still impaired, although she had no pain her eye,

the report said. Just last week, after this incident, a man in the United Kingdom said that he contracted Acanthamoeba keratitis after wearing contact lenses in the shower, which also left him blind in one eye. Six years ago a similar story has come into light where Nick Humphreys, a 29-year-old man from the UK, made what he calls an "obvious choice" to start wearing contact lenses. But in 2018, the decision left him blind in one eye, he wrote an essay for the Shropshire Star, where he works as a reporter. 

"On a standard morning I'd wake up, pop my lenses in and head to the gym before work, then I'd jump in the shower before heading to the office

," he said.

"I thought nothing of it at the time. I was never told not to wear contact lenses in the shower, there's no warning on the packaging and my opticians never mentioned a risk."

In the essay entitled

"My fight for sight: Why Star reporter Nick will never wear contact lenses again,"

Humphreys wrote that he first suspected things were not quite right in January 2018 when he experienced dry eyes for a week. At first, he chalked it up to a lack of sleep and attempted to treat it with over-the-counter eye drops. This didn't work, he wrote. Initially, his doctor diagnosed him with an ulcer on his eye. But further testing showed that it was something entirely different. Humphreys was eventually diagnosed with Acanthamoeba keratitis (AK) in his right eye, he wrote.

"I couldn't read a page of a newspaper without being in excruciating pain, light sensitivity was so bad I had to keep the curtains drawn at all times," he wrote. "I even had to watch Eurovision with my sunglasses on"

One day, he told suddenly went blind in his right eye.

"I was driving to work and my vision completely went in my right eye. I don't know how I managed not to crash, but it didn't take me long to realize I needed to get back to the hospital,"

he wrote. So far, he told him he has undergone 3 operations to treat the infection and aid with the healing. In August, he will receive a corneal transplant from a donor and will also have cataract surgery, he wrote. A year and a half, Humphreys said he regrets ever wearing contacts. 

"I can honestly say if I'd had the slightest idea that this was even a remote possibility I would never have worn contacts in the first place. It's crucial that people out there know this is a reality and can happen because of something as simple as showering,"

he wrote. The journalist also called for manufacturers to show clearer warnings on contact packaging about AK.

(source)

"I've lost 18 months of my life because of something as simple as showering with contacts in,"

he wrote.

"Now contact lens makers need to put sufficient warnings on the packaging to stop this preventable condition from destroying more lives.

CONCLUSION:

A 2009 study reported there are an estimated 1 to 2 million cases of AK among contact users annually in the US. many people don't know exact precautions about how to use a contact lens and unfortunately, there are no warnings from that of the manufacturing side. Taking bath, or swimming with the contact lens could leave you blind as per many reports. it is better to take careful precautions and know about the health care products before using them. 

For more related articles regarding Mental and physical health:

A cup of coffee can fight your obesity ! (VIDEO)

Tooth paste can cause osteoporosis,asthma etc! (VIDEO)

YES! Apples can harm you many ways (VIDEO)

Plants are infecting humans with super bugs ! (VIDEO)

How much coffee you can safely drink? (VIDEO)

Get more health tips:

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[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Today’s Chapter

A bit earlier today, I got an IM from a friend who always hosts a Univision finals party in May. The invite had been sent out several weeks ago, when things were just terrible and hard with D, rather than over and done, and I didn’t immediately RSVP. 

But on Sunday, I decided that I would go, because it’s really fun, and because I realized that I cannot make decisions based on what he might decide to do. So I RSVPed yes.

So my friend, G, sent a message saying “D just let me know why he can't attend Eurovision. Sorry to hear it.”

I asked her what he’d said. “That you broke up and that it wasn't mutual (that he chose to leave).”

Accurate, but incomplete. I gave her the digest version: “he left me, after more than 19 years, on my birthday, for his long-distance, polyamorous girlfriend of 10 months.”

G was a shocked, to say the least. And kind. And not a little judgmental about his decisions and methods. We had a bit of back and forth, and I asked her to share the news--the actual story, not the bloodless one he’s decided to go with--with our mutual friends as she sees fit. It makes me want to email everyone we know with the details, even though it makes me look like a sucker and a fool.

While I’m glad that it’s getting out there, talking about it brought on the nausea  and dizziness and shakes and cold sweats again. And then I immediately had to go help run a colleague’s class, during which I was decidedly not at my best, so I am going to email my doc about something for panic/anxiety/whatever the fuck is going on. I can’t do what I need to do if this keeps happening.

(D and I were also invited to G’s wedding in August; I intend to go, and he can go fuck himself.)

[purplesurveys]

87

What’s your favourite flavour of jam? I hate jam. I never want to see it anywhere near my bread, nor my desserts. And what’s your name? Hello, I’m Robyn :-) Are you a fast runner? I used to be fast enough that I made it to our track team, but I haven’t run a lot in quite some time so I don’t know about now. I got a bit sluggish over the past few years I think. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? I never made my parents sign the circulars being given, nor did I take deadlines seriously. I found grade/high school dumb even then so I never really put in my 100% because it would be irrelevant in college. I was right. Are you an independent person? No. I’m terribly scared; I need opinions; I always need somebody by my side.

Is there any singer’s voice you cannot bear to listen to? Meghan Trainor, Alessia Cara.. When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle? Years ago. Definitely more than ten years back by now. Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk? No but now you’ve given me an idea. Have you ever entered an art competition? If I wanted to embarrass myself I’d join one. No I haven’t - I didn’t quite get the gift of being creative. Are you competitive in nature? Yeah, very. I take everything as a competition and tend to beat myself up when I see myself being ‘second’ to somebody. Would you ever pierce yourself? No thanks. What is something people automatically assume about you? That I’m reserved and can sometimes have a little attitude, which is not at all false. What you see is what you get with me, I guess.

Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? I make them heard. I can be a bit of a punk when it comes to my opinions, which is probably a bad thing. But I have a big mouth that would be insane if I silenced it. Do you have many friends from foreign countries? I mean, when I was in the wrestling community on Tumblr and Twitter, yeah. I had tons of friends from North America, South America, Europe...my interest kind of waned after a bit though and so did my relationships with them. What is one thing you will never do? Own a pet cat. My sister recently got one, so this can be already technically false, but she solely takes care of her and I only very rarely interact with the cat. I’d never have one of my own. Are there any commercials that make you sad?  All the Asian ones about insurance companies get me LOL Do you require other peoples opinion’s a lot? Require as in force them out of them? Never. I’d ask what they think of something in a super open-minded way, but would never voluntarily get into debates. What is one food that you detest? Pineapple. Have you ever been pantsed in public? No. Unclipping bras became hugely popular in fifth grade though. It was stupid. Do you like stationary shopping (pens, etc)? No. Will you do my English essay for me? Depends on what it’s about, but sure. Do you ever leave things until the last minute then wish you did them sooner? Some tasks, I guess yeah. But I don’t feel like this about schoolwork; the later I do something the better the product, and I learned that through the years :/ Do you ever try to decipher the meanings of your dreams? No. But I’ve had more than a handful of dreams lately with the same theme of my girlfriend getting shot instead of me, and although I’m not losing sleep trying to find the meaning, it sure has had me puzzled for a while now. Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and then can't get back to sleep because your brain has gone into overdrive? Yes, but it isn’t about overdrive or anything like it. It’s just me. Do you live in a safe neighborhood? Yeah, very safe. Gated, lots of guards on watch, lots of streets so no one knows where you live, stuff like it. Have you ever watched the movie Braveheart? I haven’t. Did your parents dress you in humiliating clothes when you were little? Sometimes, yes. My mom used to make me wear a polo and a necktie and it made me hugely uncomfortable at the time. I still don’t know what made her do it. Is there any festivals your planning on going to this summer? The Hot Air Balloon Festival is coming up next February (not really summer but whatever) and my family plans on going again :) We went there seven years ago; I don’t know why we didn’t make it a yearly thing afterwards since it was so fun! Also how is 2010 seven years ago? Have you ever watched the Eurovision song contest? No. When I used to have online friends in Europe I used to dread when Eurovision season came up, because no one understood what they were talking about, and it happened FOR DAYS   When you have a cut do you ever feel the urge to poke it? Haha sure. Hooray for hurting myself. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? Cut my hair till my neck. Shocked my siblings. Do you remember the original theme tune to Pokemon? Of course. I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST THAT NO ONE EVER WAAAAS DUN DUN DUNDUUUNNN Do you like that new book smell? It’s very pleasant, yes; but I don’t live for it like others. Are you good at giving directions? LMAO I’m really not. When someone asks me for a building around campus all I can say is “It’s on the other side.” I’m awful. What is the last thing that disappointed you? Last night. Events I anticipate that then turn out to be a bummer disappoint me more than anything. My BPD acted up and I was very hard to deal with as a result. How do you like your tea? No tea. Can you open your mouth very wide? Sure, I guess...it’s why I eat large ass cheeseburgers all the time. What was the reason for your last x-ray? I had a physical for UP. Funnily enough it was one of the few times I got X-rayed and they had to find out I had scoliosis. Do you ever say really inappropriate things at the wrong time? Yes. My mouth has a bad habit of doing this. What is the last piece of advice you received? As in any advice? Welp, I asked Gab for help regarding yearbook work, and she laid it all out for me. Have you ever read Murphy’s law? Yup, but I forgot where I heard it. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? I did. I was a terrible teen. Some of my mindsets and habits have continued to this day, but I was much worse as a 13 year old. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. Are you still that religion? No. Do you have any plans for this week? Try to get my mind off of things, get back for my second sem, and hopefully have fun :) When is the last time you just wanted to give up everything? Last night. It was a bad case of dissociation, I didn’t feel like I was anywhere at the time, and I had to drive home all the way from Ortigas at midnight. Just awful in every sense of the word. Do you think your parents did a good job raising you? They did and gave me everything they can, I’m not going to deny this. But they somehow failed on giving me the care I needed. There is a difference. What is the most common name where you live? Maria. Do/Did you have a teacher at school who just despised your mere existence? Ugh, there were a handful of them. When Gab and I came back to the school fair a couple of weeks ago, we happened to pass by some of these teachers who allegedly despise me. So I told Gab about each and everyone of them and by the fourth time I said, “This teacher hated me too,” I realized how much of a pain in the ass I was to a lot of my teachers looooool Do you like to wear sunglasses? Not really. I don’t like my vision being dimmed, plus I’d have to wear them with actual eyeglasses because I’m virtually blind. Are you a selfless person? I can be, especially with people I love. Is there anyone mad at you these days? I think everyone is... Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Yes. What’s on your mind right now? Last night and how I can’t cope with it very well because I was horrible and I can’t stop beating myself up about it. Answering a survey or two really helps, though.

[party-hard-or-die]

Ireland, Enthusiastic About Gay Rights, Frets Over Abortion

CARRIGTWOHILL, Ireland — When it comes to the Roman Catholic Church, Judy Donnelly has been something of a rebel over the years. Like much of Ireland, she supported contraception, voted in a referendum to legalize divorce and, three years ago, backed same-sex marriage.

That last vote was joyously celebrated around the country and the world, placing Ireland, which elected its first gay prime minister last year, at the vanguard of what many called a social revolution.

But when it comes to the historic decision on legalizing abortion, which will be put to the nation on Friday, Ms. Donnelly says she will vote no, as will enough of her countrymen and women, including lawmakers across the political divide, to throw the referendum result into doubt. Polls for the May 25 vote have narrowed so tightly in recent weeks that “yes” and “no” campaigners are not able to confidently predict a victory.

Ms. Donnelly, 46, who works in a pub in Carrigtwohill, found no contradiction in giving gay men and lesbians their marital rights, a triumphant affirmation of their social inclusion — Ireland decriminalized homosexuality only in 1993 — while denying what many say is a woman’s right to decide what to do with her body.

“It’s just not the same,” she said, pausing as she struggled to articulate what exactly was the difference between the two. “It’s about values and morals. It’s just not the same,” she repeated, before lapsing into silence.

The curious dynamic underscores the complex reality that even if Ireland is becoming more culturally liberal in many respects, opposition to abortion is more deeply ingrained. The reasons are complicated and nuanced: a history of female oppression; the church’s continuing grip over sexual education; a malaise over discussions about sex and sexual health; and very private experiences around miscarriages, fetal deformities, adoption difficulties and spousal disagreements over whether to keep a baby.

A big part of the problem, many Irish say, is that there is a legacy of sex being a taboo subject and that the negative consequences of sexual activity, including infections or unplanned pregnancies, are seen through a moral lens rather than as health issues. Even though 40 percent of children in the country are born to unmarried mothers and fathers (about the same as in the United States), many say there is still some stigma around unmarried mothers.

Ironically, it took a gay prime minister, Leo Varadkar, to call for this referendum that will essentially ask voters to repeal a 1983 amendment to the Constitution that gives a fetus the same right to life as the mother and allow unrestricted terminations of pregnancies for up to 12 weeks.

“I know I come across as a hypocrite,” said Darren Haddock, 48, a cabdriver who initially planned to vote in favor of abortion because he saw it as a woman’s right. But now, he said, “We’re talking about hurting a life.”

The referendum on gay marriage was different, he said. “The time was right for Ireland to come out of the Dark Ages, to break the shackles from the church, and it was a victory for people to stand up to it,” he said.

Ms. Donnelly, who recently divorced, voted in favor of same-sex marriage because her sister-in-law was part of the first gay couple to get married in England. Another cousin is gay, and recently got married, too.

When it came to abortion, she reflected on some of her other relatives who had miscarriages, having wanted children badly. “And then you have people who cross over to England to get an abortion,” she said, although she said there were some exceptions, as in the cases of rape or incest. “But just because you made a boo-boo doesn’t mean you get an abortion.”

Still, she voted in three previous referendums allowing women to have abortions if their lives were in danger, to travel abroad for the procedure and to have access to information about it. The legalization of abortion, she said, would “make it easier for people to say, ‘Oh, I’ll just go and rid of it.’”

Ms. Donnelly spoke as an older woman slowly pushed a baby carriage up the street, carrying two baby dolls under plastic wrapping to protect against a cold drizzle. Mr. Haddock recalled seeing the woman nearly four decades ago, when he was a child. She had had several miscarriages, he explained, and hadn’t stopped pushing the carriage ever since.

For Una Mullally, who edited the book “Repeal the 8th,” a reference to the Eighth Amendment that essentially bans abortion in Ireland, the answer to the dichotomy over gay and women’s rights is control.

“Misogyny is much more embedded in Irish life than homophobia,” she said. “Ireland has a terrible history of oppressing women, and the legacy of the Catholic Church is control,” she added, referring to the thousands of unmarried women who became pregnant and were placed into servitude or mental asylums since the 18th century until as recent as the mid-1990s.

Even when the country in 1985 legalized condoms to be sold without prescriptions, she said, it was to deal with the AIDS epidemic, rather than to give women their reproductive rights. “Women’s autonomy has always been viewed with suspicion or through a lens that is very bizarre,” she said.

In Cork, Ireland’s second-biggest city, placards for opposing campaigns were attached to almost every street lamp, but the mood was subdued. Most people interviewed for this article didn’t want their names published; many of them hadn’t even spoken about the subject with their friends, let alone their families.

“Oh God, no,” exclaimed a 24-year-old barista named Maedhbh who worked in a coffee shop and wore a nose ring and a bright yellow sweatshirt with the words “Bitter Lemon” printed on it.

“My grandparents don’t want to engage in it,” she said, just as her grandfather Paddy walked in. When asked about the referendum, he stopped in his tracks and pretended to be hard of hearing. “You could be shot for giving an answer,” a customer standing nearby said smirking, before rushing out the door. “There’s a saying in Irish: ‘Whatever you say, say nothing.’ ”

While the church’s influence has fallen drastically in most spheres of Irish life, its hold on sexual education remains strong — the institution still controls most schools in the country.

Even young, internet-savvy Irish in their early 20s spoke about receiving more of a lesson in biology, and a cursory one at that, than instructions about sexual health and safety.

“When we were 16 we had two lads, monks, come in to talk about abstinence, and that one in 10 people get pregnant and that you can still get STDs from wearing condoms,” said Ben Collins, a 22-year-old college student, who plans to vote to legalize abortion. “It was basically fear. The Catholic influence is so big here, but you don’t even realize it.”

Deirdre Allinen, 32, recalled sitting in a classroom and having nuns wheel in a television before being a shown a grisly video about abortion. “Then we’d say the rosary and stand around praying,” she said. “The way it’s taught to us, it’s still in me. The curriculum is still hidden in our brains. It took me a long time to shake it off.”

As a result, Ireland has never had a conversation about sex being a positive thing, said Will St Leger, an artist and an H.I.V. activist who is on a crusade to reform sex education in schools.

“A lot of these issues around sexual health and reproductive rights all stem from a lack of information and shame,” he said. “That’s the biggest element — what we do with our bodies and with other people carries shame.”

“We see ourselves as global, checking in at airports, L.G.B.T., Eurovision,” he said, and Ireland as a mecca for tech giants like Google, Facebook and Apple. “But this crushing theocratic doctrine put on Irish society has permeated right to the core,” he added, “even to the person who doesn’t go to church: that sex is seen as a sin. It’s in our D.N.A.”

The dearth of a proper national conversation is part of the reason Ireland is seeing a surge in sexually transmitted diseases, Mr. St Leger said, with 15- to 24-year-olds, for example, making up half of Ireland’s number of reported annual chlamydia infections.

The nation is also in the throes of an H.I.V. crisis, he added, pointing to opinion polls that show one-quarter of respondents are not properly informed about the virus. At least a quarter of respondents still believe they can catch it by kissing or sitting on a toilet seat. And for all the excitement around the vote on same-sex marriage, Mr. St Leger pointed out, the government has since 2009 cut the budget in half for Gay Men’s Health Service, which provides H.I.V. testing, screenings and treatments for sexually-transmitted infections, and outreach.

The same-sex marriage vote was “all about love and relationships,” he said. “But we don’t talk about sexual health.”

Still, sexual education has improved from Ms. Donnelly’s time, when nuns taught her class: “If a lad sat on your lap, you’d put a newspaper on your lap. That was the contraception of the day.”

In recent years, Ireland has seen some of the biggest turnarounds in public opinion in the Western world. In 1992, for example, while homosexuality was still considered a crime in the country, participants in a gay pride parade in Cork wore masks so as not to embarrass relatives. In 2018, Ireland has a gay prime minister, same-sex marriage is allowed and some of the world’s most progressive bills concerning lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are being put forward in Parliament.

Similarly, attitudes toward abortion shifted drastically after Savita Halappanavar died in 2012 of complications from a septic miscarriage. She had asked for a termination, but the hospital refused her request, initially judging that her life was not in danger. The baby was stillborn, and Ms. Halappanavar died a few days later.

For many voters, the referendum over abortion is, ultimately, a deeply private choice.

In 2015, after the same-sex marriage vote, “it was like Glastonbury; it was party central,” recalled Mr. Haddock. But next week, he said, “no matter who wins or loses, there’s not going to be a party.”

The post Ireland, Enthusiastic About Gay Rights, Frets Over Abortion appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2KFJrVL via Breaking News

[newestbalance]

Ireland, Enthusiastic About Gay Rights, Frets Over Abortion

CARRIGTWOHILL, Ireland — When it comes to the Roman Catholic Church, Judy Donnelly has been something of a rebel over the years. Like much of Ireland, she supported contraception, voted in a referendum to legalize divorce and, three years ago, backed same-sex marriage.

That last vote was joyously celebrated around the country and the world, placing Ireland, which elected its first gay prime minister last year, at the vanguard of what many called a social revolution.

But when it comes to the historic decision on legalizing abortion, which will be put to the nation on Friday, Ms. Donnelly says she will vote no, as will enough of her countrymen and women, including lawmakers across the political divide, to throw the referendum result into doubt. Polls for the May 25 vote have narrowed so tightly in recent weeks that “yes” and “no” campaigners are not able to confidently predict a victory.

Ms. Donnelly, 46, who works in a pub in Carrigtwohill, found no contradiction in giving gay men and lesbians their marital rights, a triumphant affirmation of their social inclusion — Ireland decriminalized homosexuality only in 1993 — while denying what many say is a woman’s right to decide what to do with her body.

“It’s just not the same,” she said, pausing as she struggled to articulate what exactly was the difference between the two. “It’s about values and morals. It’s just not the same,” she repeated, before lapsing into silence.

The curious dynamic underscores the complex reality that even if Ireland is becoming more culturally liberal in many respects, opposition to abortion is more deeply ingrained. The reasons are complicated and nuanced: a history of female oppression; the church’s continuing grip over sexual education; a malaise over discussions about sex and sexual health; and very private experiences around miscarriages, fetal deformities, adoption difficulties and spousal disagreements over whether to keep a baby.

A big part of the problem, many Irish say, is that there is a legacy of sex being a taboo subject and that the negative consequences of sexual activity, including infections or unplanned pregnancies, are seen through a moral lens rather than as health issues. Even though 40 percent of children in the country are born to unmarried mothers and fathers (about the same as in the United States), many say there is still some stigma around unmarried mothers.

Ironically, it took a gay prime minister, Leo Varadkar, to call for this referendum that will essentially ask voters to repeal a 1983 amendment to the Constitution that gives a fetus the same right to life as the mother and allow unrestricted terminations of pregnancies for up to 12 weeks.

“I know I come across as a hypocrite,” said Darren Haddock, 48, a cabdriver who initially planned to vote in favor of abortion because he saw it as a woman’s right. But now, he said, “We’re talking about hurting a life.”

The referendum on gay marriage was different, he said. “The time was right for Ireland to come out of the Dark Ages, to break the shackles from the church, and it was a victory for people to stand up to it,” he said.

Ms. Donnelly, who recently divorced, voted in favor of same-sex marriage because her sister-in-law was part of the first gay couple to get married in England. Another cousin is gay, and recently got married, too.

When it came to abortion, she reflected on some of her other relatives who had miscarriages, having wanted children badly. “And then you have people who cross over to England to get an abortion,” she said, although she said there were some exceptions, as in the cases of rape or incest. “But just because you made a boo-boo doesn’t mean you get an abortion.”

Still, she voted in three previous referendums allowing women to have abortions if their lives were in danger, to travel abroad for the procedure and to have access to information about it. The legalization of abortion, she said, would “make it easier for people to say, ‘Oh, I’ll just go and rid of it.’”

Ms. Donnelly spoke as an older woman slowly pushed a baby carriage up the street, carrying two baby dolls under plastic wrapping to protect against a cold drizzle. Mr. Haddock recalled seeing the woman nearly four decades ago, when he was a child. She had had several miscarriages, he explained, and hadn’t stopped pushing the carriage ever since.

For Una Mullally, who edited the book “Repeal the 8th,” a reference to the Eighth Amendment that essentially bans abortion in Ireland, the answer to the dichotomy over gay and women’s rights is control.

“Misogyny is much more embedded in Irish life than homophobia,” she said. “Ireland has a terrible history of oppressing women, and the legacy of the Catholic Church is control,” she added, referring to the thousands of unmarried women who became pregnant and were placed into servitude or mental asylums since the 18th century until as recent as the mid-1990s.

Even when the country in 1985 legalized condoms to be sold without prescriptions, she said, it was to deal with the AIDS epidemic, rather than to give women their reproductive rights. “Women’s autonomy has always been viewed with suspicion or through a lens that is very bizarre,” she said.

In Cork, Ireland’s second-biggest city, placards for opposing campaigns were attached to almost every street lamp, but the mood was subdued. Most people interviewed for this article didn’t want their names published; many of them hadn’t even spoken about the subject with their friends, let alone their families.

“Oh God, no,” exclaimed a 24-year-old barista named Maedhbh who worked in a coffee shop and wore a nose ring and a bright yellow sweatshirt with the words “Bitter Lemon” printed on it.

“My grandparents don’t want to engage in it,” she said, just as her grandfather Paddy walked in. When asked about the referendum, he stopped in his tracks and pretended to be hard of hearing. “You could be shot for giving an answer,” a customer standing nearby said smirking, before rushing out the door. “There’s a saying in Irish: ‘Whatever you say, say nothing.’ ”

While the church’s influence has fallen drastically in most spheres of Irish life, its hold on sexual education remains strong — the institution still controls most schools in the country.

Even young, internet-savvy Irish in their early 20s spoke about receiving more of a lesson in biology, and a cursory one at that, than instructions about sexual health and safety.

“When we were 16 we had two lads, monks, come in to talk about abstinence, and that one in 10 people get pregnant and that you can still get STDs from wearing condoms,” said Ben Collins, a 22-year-old college student, who plans to vote to legalize abortion. “It was basically fear. The Catholic influence is so big here, but you don’t even realize it.”

Deirdre Allinen, 32, recalled sitting in a classroom and having nuns wheel in a television before being a shown a grisly video about abortion. “Then we’d say the rosary and stand around praying,” she said. “The way it’s taught to us, it’s still in me. The curriculum is still hidden in our brains. It took me a long time to shake it off.”

As a result, Ireland has never had a conversation about sex being a positive thing, said Will St Leger, an artist and an H.I.V. activist who is on a crusade to reform sex education in schools.

“A lot of these issues around sexual health and reproductive rights all stem from a lack of information and shame,” he said. “That’s the biggest element — what we do with our bodies and with other people carries shame.”

“We see ourselves as global, checking in at airports, L.G.B.T., Eurovision,” he said, and Ireland as a mecca for tech giants like Google, Facebook and Apple. “But this crushing theocratic doctrine put on Irish society has permeated right to the core,” he added, “even to the person who doesn’t go to church: that sex is seen as a sin. It’s in our D.N.A.”

The dearth of a proper national conversation is part of the reason Ireland is seeing a surge in sexually transmitted diseases, Mr. St Leger said, with 15- to 24-year-olds, for example, making up half of Ireland’s number of reported annual chlamydia infections.

The nation is also in the throes of an H.I.V. crisis, he added, pointing to opinion polls that show one-quarter of respondents are not properly informed about the virus. At least a quarter of respondents still believe they can catch it by kissing or sitting on a toilet seat. And for all the excitement around the vote on same-sex marriage, Mr. St Leger pointed out, the government has since 2009 cut the budget in half for Gay Men’s Health Service, which provides H.I.V. testing, screenings and treatments for sexually-transmitted infections, and outreach.

The same-sex marriage vote was “all about love and relationships,” he said. “But we don’t talk about sexual health.”

Still, sexual education has improved from Ms. Donnelly’s time, when nuns taught her class: “If a lad sat on your lap, you’d put a newspaper on your lap. That was the contraception of the day.”

In recent years, Ireland has seen some of the biggest turnarounds in public opinion in the Western world. In 1992, for example, while homosexuality was still considered a crime in the country, participants in a gay pride parade in Cork wore masks so as not to embarrass relatives. In 2018, Ireland has a gay prime minister, same-sex marriage is allowed and some of the world’s most progressive bills concerning lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are being put forward in Parliament.

Similarly, attitudes toward abortion shifted drastically after Savita Halappanavar died in 2012 of complications from a septic miscarriage. She had asked for a termination, but the hospital refused her request, initially judging that her life was not in danger. The baby was stillborn, and Ms. Halappanavar died a few days later.

For many voters, the referendum over abortion is, ultimately, a deeply private choice.

In 2015, after the same-sex marriage vote, “it was like Glastonbury; it was party central,” recalled Mr. Haddock. But next week, he said, “no matter who wins or loses, there’s not going to be a party.”

The post Ireland, Enthusiastic About Gay Rights, Frets Over Abortion appeared first on World The News.

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[leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst]

ENGLISH TRANSLATION (by me)

WATSON.DE 22/10/19

https://www.watson.de/unterhaltung/interview/421417472-conchita-wurst-tom-neuwirth-rechnet-mit-esc-conchita-ab-hatte-keinen-spass?utm_source=main

Conchita Wurst gets rid of ESC-art figure: "I was unhappy"

Five years ago, Austrian Tom Neuwirth won the Eurovision Song Contest as Conchita Wurst. But the role of the eccentric diva with beard and wig did not fill him in the long run. Now he returns as a new art figure "Wurst" - with electric and brand new, male appearance. With ‘Watson’ he spoke about rebellion, crisis of meaning, thinking in drawers and finding and seeking personal freedom.

Watson: Tom, we know you as a conchita with a wavy wig and a floor-length dress. Why did you choose to show the public a "Wurst" page that we did not know before?

Conchita Wurst: I felt the need to evolve. Before that I moved too long in the same world for my circumstances. And by that I mean that I locked myself into a set of rules that reduced me to a color of my being. And I call this color the "President's wife".

President's wife?

A president's wife has a certain protocol and can not do many things. And through this years-long reduction of myself, I became unhappy. I understood that I need a challenge, something new. For years I was in the songwriting camp and I thank my record company that I was able to find out to be completely talent free in songwriting (laughs). And then I thought: why don’t I just do the music that I hear privately? And I love electronic music, I love Robyn and Björk. I have found a great team for the new album that understands me, my story and my vision. And although I did not write or compose the songs myself, it has become so much more authentic than much of what I've done before. Or closer to my life.

Did you have any concerns about taking a new path or did you care less about the opinions of others?

When it suddenly became clear what the details should look like, how each mosaic fits into the other, I no longer had the feeling that I had to think about it. I was really very egocentric (laughs). Of course, I'm happy about everyone who likes my music. But I understand that I just have to do more things for myself. Because it's my life - and that's so beautiful. And my manager always says: Only then is it better than perfect. So I'll just do it and throw one dart at a time. We will see which one gets stuck.

Is there a song that has a lot of heart and soul?

I can not commit myself to one. Many songs deal with a specific time in my life. I deliberately refrained from explaining the meaning of each in detail. For the people who hear the music, I do not want to force a picture on them. It's like having read a book and then watching the movie. Then your own world is suddenly gone. That's why I hold myself back and do not say that's what it's about and the other's about that. Because once the child is born, it's not just me anymore and I accept that. But let's put it this way: Every song is intense.

What is the basic message of your songs, like the very striking "hit me"? Do not let anyone restrict you?

Absolutely. Nobody has the right to decide about your life. And that's the point. And yes, many messages are similar to those that were important to me five years ago. By now it may have become a bit more concrete and I am spreading it with more self-confidence.

Were you uncertain in places?

Everyone doubts. But I've stopped apologizing, in public and with my friends. With one caveat: I would apologize if I make mistakes, absolutely. And I do that too. But this album and this whole process has brought me so much closer to myself.

"I was in a situation where I realized I'm not feeling well anymore, I'm not enjoying what I'm doing."

And there is only one way out.

Which one did you choose?

I've worked hard with myself, started therapy, talked to my family and friends, and worked things that were years back and were never properly pronounced. And of course you do not just hear nice things.

And then to take that, to apologize, try to do better, but also to accept that you can not do everything well - that was very liberating.

In what way?

I always try my best - but in some ways I'm just a bit too brisk. And sometimes I'm just a bit too nice. And to realize that as a whole, has given me a whole new sense of security. Because I suddenly knew better where my range of motion lies - what am I sure of and what is not. And knowing that means incredible freedom and that helped me to be more confident. Not only in terms of the music, but also my appearance.

"I stopped wearing wigs, some said it was just marketing, so I just say, F ... you all, I'm still me."

And even if the name changes - at the end of the day it's always wurst (not important). Whether I am more feminine or masculine now, always this kind of thinking - I've stopped thinking about it.

An easy process?

Not at all. Because when I finished the album and it went to the videos, I have even operated drawer thinking. I was so anxious to be masculine. Now I think: There are no rules anymore.What has changed since your first album five years ago - and what has remained the same?

Of course, the sound has changed and also that I am now much more personal stories in my songs. The fire remained the same. Or let's put it this way: the fire has come back.

Was the flame extinguished?

I knew as a child: I'm a star. I did not care if anyone wants to hear that. And then I lost this self-evidence, I was uncertain for a long time. Now I know again: I am a star. But that's the only thing I can do (laughs). So I focus on it. And to have such a clear positioning and to say: I love myself incredibly, I think I'm gorgeous, I'm funny, I'm talented - to be able to say, but at the same time to say - you are incredibly beautiful and it is so inspiring to listen to you. There is room for everything and everyone. I had to learn that first. This has nothing to do with arrogance, if you think yourself great. I find myself incredibly great - but I also find others incredibly great!

Did you arrive at the end of your journey to self-fulfillment?

No, that's not over yet. There are enough situations in which I manipulate myself and discover: I'm not myself, I'm not relaxed. But jealous, angry, impatient.

Are you pondering a lot?

No, but hello! I think I've improved, just living for the moment. Just after the song contest things came one after the other. And now just sitting here to tell you about me, I can enjoy that. I do not do anything better than talk about myself (laughs). But now I'm anchored here right now and have no stress at all. I could not have done that a few years ago.

What about your plans to film your autobiography?

Of course they are still standing. I also really want to do a musical. I mean, my story: The little boy from the mountains goes to the song contest with a wig - that's a story (laughs)! But the near future also brings a lot of great things. For example, I'm really looking forward to my performance on 2 November at "WUK" in Vienna. Only the cool kids are playing and I'm so happy to be allowed to perform with my band. I'm very curious what people say about "Wurst". And of course I am happy to go on tour again, also in Germany. And if all goes well, I'm still traveling a bit in Europe, that could be very exciting. And then comes a small TV show. So I have a lot to do.

Speaking of which, "Queen of Drag" will start on ProSieben on November 14th. Why did you want to be there?

These kind of requests came very early in my career. But the parameters never were for me. But in that case I could not refuse. I mean, Germany's biggest private station, Prime-Time, 8:15 pm. And the format will both entertain and touch. And I have never seen this range of entertainment, talent, humanity. We laughed and cried while filming. We had such a great time. And of course, I hope that's what the audience sees. And even if not - that was such a beautiful experience for me, nobody can take that from me.

What wishes do you have for you this year as Conchita, Wurst and Tom?

I wish I had at least as much fun as last year. I wish that I spend enough time with my family and friends and also have enough time with me. I want to be challenged and creative and just keep going like before. That would be great. No such bold wishes, or (laughs)?

Conchita or Tom? Wurst!

New album "Truth over Magnitude"

Tom Neuwirth released his debut album "Conchita" in 2015, which took first place in the Austrian album charts and was awarded Platinum. Also his second studio album "From Vienna With Love" achieved gold status in the release week. On October 25, the 30-year-old will be releasing an electric album for the first time with "Truth over Magnitude". From the 14th of November he will be looking for the "Queen of Drags" again as Conchita Wurst, alongside Heidi Klum and Bill Kaulitz on ProSieben.

[selflife-hacks-blog]

Person Gone Blind After Wearing Contact Lens in Shower

Person gone blind after wearing contact lens in shower

Keeping the contact lenses in while swimming and showering can lead to serious consequences: a women who had this habit of doing so had developed a rare eye infection that left her legally blind in one eye, according to a new report of the case.

The 41-year-old woman, who lives in the United Kingdom, went to the eye doctor after experiencing blurry vision, eye pain and sensitivity to light in her left eye for two months, according to the report, which was published today (July 17) in The New England Journal of Medicine.(source) She told doctors that she has been wearing the disposable, soft contact lenses and that she kept them in while swimming and showering, the report said.

After suspected difference in the vision , she got her eyes tested and An eye test showed that her vision was 20/200 in her left eye, the threshold for being "legally blind" in the United States. Fortunately her right eye was not affected. Doctors after the careful examinations saw a cloudiness or haze in the women's cornea, the eye's transparent outer covering.

They performed various other tests  and the eye test that uses a special dye to detect damage to this covering. During this test, any damage to the cornea will appear green when doctors shine a blue light on the eye, according to the National Institutes of Health. The doctors noticed that, a defect in the woman's cornea appeared green during the test. Samples from her eye were taken and were tested positive for Acanthamoeba keratitis, a rare parasitic infection of the cornea.

The infection is known to damage a person's vision and is tied to the use of contact lenses, according to the report, led by Dr. Lanxing Fu, of the Manchester Royal Eye Hospital in the United Kingdom.

"Acanthamoeba is an amoeba that's commonly found in water, soil and air, and dirty places which are contaminated" according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Contact lens wearers face a risk of contracting this infection if they engage in certain practices, such as disinfecting lenses with tap water or swimming or showering while wearing lenses, the CDC said.

Though the woman in the recent case was treated with eye medications that cleared her infection. But she was left with vision loss in her left eye due to a scar on her cornea, the report said.

  One year later, the woman underwent a partial transplant of her cornea, which replaced part of her damaged corneal tissue with healthy tissue from a deceased donor.

After the surgery, her left eye vision improved slightly but was still impaired, although she had no pain her eye, the report said.

Just last week, after this incident, a man in the United Kingdom said that he contracted Acanthamoeba keratitis after wearing contact lenses in the shower, which also left him blind in one eye. Six years ago a similar story has come into light where Nick Humphreys, a 29-year-old man from the UK, made what he calls an "obvious choice" to start wearing contact lenses. But in 2018, the decision left him blind in one eye, he wrote an essay for the Shropshire Star, where he works as a reporter.

"On a standard morning I'd wake up, pop my lenses in and head to the gym before work, then I'd jump in the shower before heading to the office," he said. "I thought nothing of it at the time. I was never told not to wear contact lenses in the shower, there's no warning on the packaging and my opticians never mentioned a risk."

In the essay entitled "My fight for sight: Why Star reporter Nick will never wear contact lenses again," Humphreys wrote that he first suspected things were not quite right in January 2018 when he experienced dry eyes for a week. At first, he chalked it up to a lack of sleep and attempted to treat it with over-the-counter eye drops. This didn't work, he wrote. Initially, his doctor diagnosed him with an ulcer on his eye. But further testing showed that it was something entirely different. Humphreys was eventually diagnosed with Acanthamoeba keratitis (AK) in his right eye, he wrote.

"I couldn't read a page of a newspaper without being in excruciating pain, light sensitivity was so bad I had to keep the curtains drawn at all times," he wrote. "I even had to watch Eurovision with my sunglasses on" One day, he told suddenly went blind in his right eye.

"I was driving to work and my vision completely went in my right eye. I don't know how I managed not to crash, but it didn't take me long to realize I needed to get back to the hospital,"

he wrote. So far, he told he has undergone 3 operations to treat the infection and aid with the healing. In August, he will receive a corneal transplant from a donor and will also have cataract surgery, he wrote.   A year and a half, Humphreys said he regrets ever wearing contacts.

"I can honestly say if I'd had the slightest idea that this was even a remote possibility I would never have worn contacts in the first place. It's crucial that people out there know this is a reality and can happen because of something as simple as showering," he wrote. The journalist also called for manufacturers to show clearer warnings on contact packaging about AK(source)

"I've lost 18 months of my life because of something as simple as showering with contacts in," he wrote. "Now contact lens makers need to put sufficient warnings on packaging to stop this preventable condition from destroying more lives.

Conclusion:

A 2009 study reported there are an estimated 1 to 2 million cases of AK among contact users annually in the US. many people don't know exact precautions about how to use a contact lens and unfortunately there are no warnings from that of the manufacturing side. Taking bath , or swimming with the contact lens could leave you blind as per many reports. it is better to take a careful precaution and know about the health care products before using them.

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