#yes i'm dropping the url

[abyssembraced]

Okay, so! I have:

Changed the url of the blog (scale-tippers -> abyssembraced)

Changed the colour scheme of the blog (though it's still somewhat subject to change)

Updated the avatar to reflect the new colour scheme (though it's still temporary until I draw a nicer one)

Removed my old promo as my pinned post due to it being outdated (a temporary pinned post with links and stuff will be up in a sec; a new promo will come eventually, probably once I finish writing Rouxls' bio page)

Archived (dropped) Ryunosuke and Robin as muses for the time being.

[everythingispirates]

🏴‍☠️lowlyseaman

I love not having scurvy 👍

1 note

🦢w3nch

breaking mutuals with @/forgeguy don't ask me about it this is the last I'll say on the matter

🍹jackoff follow

omg did something happen :(

🦢w3nch

shut the fuck up never fucking talk to me again I'm so srs

🍹jackoff follow

kys

12 notes

🦢w3nch

i miss him so fucking much i can't fucking do this anymore

2 notes

🩻bigbarbie

this fucking meeting sucks I'm going to firebomb shipwreck cove

67 notes

👁️raspghetti

little life update I feel like I'm honestly really coming around on this prosthetic eye idk it's really starting to feel like a part of me now :') I hope I never have to lose it or anything

0 notes

🇬🇧kingofenglandofficial follow

piracy is a SCOURGE on these seas!!! EMBARRASSING!

🏴‍☠️iheartstealing follow

give me your stuff

☠️quarterdeckmain follow

omg I can't believe we still have piracy antis on this website to this day like this is literally the high seas piracy website go back to ye olde twitter

🩻bigbarbie

"piracy antis" girl that's the king of england

12,429 notes

⚔️forgeguy

I can't keep going like this I can't believe I did that to her I'm such a failure I should just kms like I literally don't deserve to be on this earth

⚔️forgeguy

just remembered some things. nevermind lol

⚔️forgeguy

remembered some more things and I want to die again I was so fucking wrong

4 notes

🍹jackoff follow

and when I drop the ***** aka ********* receipts then what. lol. lmao even

🦢w3nch

bitch give us a fucking vowel

🩻bigbarbie

yeah um just so everyone knows op literally shot me on isla de muerta so I'm really not interested in their receipts

🎣humblefisherman follow

what the fuck is going on on pirate ye olde tumblr

572 notes

🍹jackoff follow

everyone keeps calling me a liar they just hate to see a wench who tells it like it is

⚔️forgeguy

literal 100+ pages ye olde google doc of times op has lied

104 notes

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

you would actually not believe how much harder it is to girlblog when your fingers are turning into fucking shrimp or whatever

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

captain has it fucking easy

🦑partofthecrewpartoftheship follow

they're gonna whip me for this one lads :/

5 notes

🦢w3nch

anyone else riddled by guilt? clap if you're riddled by guilt

2 notes

🦀 follow

the second I'm free of this stupid flesh prison I'm putting a curse on this entire fucking website

🦐morehumblerfisherman follow

op what the fuck is this why do you not have an url

🦀 follow

the sea will claim you in five years. use your remaining time wisely

🦐morehumblerfisherman follow

sure yeah whatever. I'll fucking do that I guess.

196 notes

🏴‍☠️lowlyseaman

got scurvy 👎

0 notes

[toxicanonymity]

For context, a tumblr account has been posting anon hate for the past week or so, mostly toward writers. A parasocial hater of mine discovered the account and has been going to town. I posted this after they invoked Israel as an analogy. Yes really.

Obviously I am disgusted by what I just read, and floored that anyone would post such a deranged analogy in the interest of stirring up fandom drama. I'm very sorry to everyone who has been attacked and everyone who has witnessed all this. Others have posted about the situation as a whole, and I'm not sure what I could add. But I want you to know many of these "confessions" are from one individual who has been fixated on me (and probably others) for weeks if not months. I already had the following in my drafts:

warning: please don't read this if you're sensitive to hate or could be triggered by the trivialization of real abuse. (edit: they went on to trivialize genocide too but they'll pretend to be different people). there's also a really gross anatomical reference.

the screenshots are all after I blocked them.

I normally don't address things like this, but that's because I'm trying to keep it off your dash and off my blog (for several reasons including not wanting to give the hate a larger audience). Normally I block/delete. But thanks to a blog dedicated to posting anon hate, some of this is already on the dash, and I thought some additional context could be illuminating.

a couple weeks ago, this person chimed in on my non-fandom post, and their comment made me uncomfortable. I checked to see if they followed me and they didn't, plus their blog tagline was antagonistic. I was confident they weren't being earnest. I replied, pointing out my issue with their comment and asking them to keep their thoughts to themselves rather than coming at me from a sideblog. I thought they must have followed me from a main account since they somehow found an untagged, unreblogged post without following me. But I now realize they were simply hate checking my blog.

(Blocked the burner too)

They were saying this last bit preemptively - I've never talked about stalkers here. I didn't include all their anons, just enough to show they clearly out themselves as being the same person. In other "confessions," they make repeated references to a former fandom writer they idolize (not me) who they also posted about on their blog.

I won't be dropping this creep's url in this post, but I had never heard of them. This week they have repeatedly changed their url, display name, and blog appearance. Their writing is recognizable and I believe they are responsible for the unhinged asks preceding katy's departure from tumblr. They also made a rude comment on her post.

This may only aggravate them. I expect them to hurl any lies and accusations they can think of toward me. They will act like they're laughing and amused, too. You may recognize their tone. I want to trust this fandom not to believe and repeat anything they hear, but unfortunately my experience in this fandom leaves me pessimistic.

I can only hope people use common sense at this point.

Note - I know I'm normally really private about everything, but you're welcome to share this. Their lies are already out there anyway. Also feel free to DM me and I will tell you what you want to know.

Update: the anon-hate account referred to above has deactivated. It was named pedgeconfessions. It wasn't the first to pop up this summer and may not be the last.

[george-weasleys-girl]

Life With George Weasley, Pt.3

George, pointing: "May I sit there?"

Y/N: "That's my lap."

George: "That doesn't answer my question."

~•~

George: "Hermione, can you please tell Y/N that I’m mad at her? We’re in the middle of a fight, and I don’t want to talk to her."

Hermione: "You’re literally sitting on her lap."

George: "Yes, what’s your point?"

~•~

George, sweating: "Y/N, there’s something I need to ask you-"

Y/N: "Finally! You’re proposing!"

George: "How’d you know?"

Y/N: "George, honey, you dropped the ring five times during dinner. I even picked it up once."

Y/N: "Oh, and by the way, the answer is yes."

~•~

If your url is crossed out, I'm unable to tag you.

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @kaysau2510 @qmylovexoxo @planetkt @costheticbabe

[tervaneula]

Ohmigosh... IT'S TURTLE TERV...!!! Or Tev, for short, because I cannot for the life of me come up with fresh nicknames based on my url lmao. I've been working on this so slow because of my hand and then I got a fever but finally I can post this<3

Tev owes her life to @spacemimz who so insanely kindly wanted to make a turtlesona for me ;_; ilu Mike there are still no words to describe how much this means to me!!!!!

AND YES she is based on a diamondback terrapin!!! An absolute galaxy brain choice from Mike, I was veering towards darker coloured turtles but they didn't really feel like me and then bam, problem solved, just like that

Ramblings about design changes and stuff under the cut:

The biggest changes I did to Mike's original design (I got granted free rein with it which, AWESOME SAUCE because initially I was dead set on designing the sona from scratch) are no hair because the absolutely adorable ref had my hairstyle and it was so cute but I just can't for the life of me to get it look right ahhgdhs but hey maybe... sometimes, she will wear wigs... I also simplified the shell pattern, made the hands and feet opaque for clarity and gave her slightly different clothes (which are subject to change because I'm goofy like that).

GHHH I. I LOVE THE CLAWS AND THE BIGGER HANDS AND FOREARMS those I absolutely wanted to keep and it's also funny because I have tiny EU size 7 hands but this sona is the complete opposite. It honestly just makes me happy!!

And because I'm extra, I have now two different ways to draw her markings lol. I like the spray airbrush and the hand-saving gradient it gives but I know for certain that I won't be patient enough to always use it so the silly kinda-chibi "Gosh darn it dropped my glasses I hope no one saw" pic has all the spots hand drawn. It works well for smaller scale pics and is also cute so win-win >:3

Anywayyyy I'm in love with her and I could ramble forever so I'm just gonna hit post now ahahaghsdf

[shuastruck]

SIMP NOTES

one. profile 1 !!! jop till you drop

previous || masterlist || next

PAIRING || lee chan x female reader

GENRES || fluff, strangers to lovers, college au, humour, love triangle, angst

SUMMARY || lee chan, college's critically acclaimed and certified (read: self-proclaimed) cupid was a hundred percent sure that his guide to love manual aka the simp notes worked just perfectly fine, seeing the number of campus couples he had managed to get together. until you came up with your complex romantic problem and chan finds his trustworthy notes betraying him, especially when he begins to fall for you.

or, in which, chan never thought he would be following his own simp notes to win over you.

WARNINGS || none

A/N || yeah so things got a bit delayed from my end...but i'm so so excited to present you guys the very first chapter of simp notes!!! also for the sake of everyone's sanity and my ease of writing; disclaimer: everyone is of the same age in this smau. and YES shua has my username and what about it its funny and this was my concern since day one of using this url.

if you want to be added to the taglist, send me an ask!

l/n y/n - third year college student; a huge taemin stan along with best friend kwon soonyoung, will willingly jump into a death match to defend taemin's honour. currently has a mega huge crush on a certain campus heartthrob but has no clue as to how to even befriend him, let alone confess.

hong joshua - third year college student; y/n's neighbour who too happened to get into the same college and that's how they became close friends. all of the parents adore him because of how sweet and 'normal' he is, but unfortunately the group is yet to see his normal side.

wen junhui - third year college student; close friend of soonyoung from the dance team in school who too ended up going to the same college and hence in the friend circle. accidentally became one of the most popular student after his acting in the college play became a super hit.

kwon soonyoung - third year college student; best friend of y/n and definitely taemin's biggest fan. is a pretty popular student due to being a very good dancer and the head of the dance club. also, a huge lover of tigers much to the annoyance of the group.

lee jihoon - third year college student; another popular student and is currently the head of the music club. the reason he got introduced to this group was because his cousin's best friend had invited (read: kidnapped) them to meet his new group of friends and the next thing he knew, he was hanging out with them constantly.

lee seokmin - third year college student; is the cousin. got introduced to the group by his best friend joshua and was an instant hit, especially with soonyoung. is the co-head of the music club. parents adore him because of how sweet and 'normal' he is 2.0.

xu minghao - third year college student; y/n and soonyoung's classmate from high school. ardent art lover and is not quite sure when he started hanging out with soonyoung and junhui so much from outside the dance club until one day he was hanging out with the entire group. parents adore him because of how sweet and normal he is 3.0 only that he is normal.

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!  

© 𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐀��𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

[kyra45]

Hello I'm Ahmed Hamdi from Gaza, living near Khan Yunis. Weeks ago, an atomic bomb dropped near my home. I've since developed severe health complications and was diagnosed with advanced leukemia and cardiovascular diseases. I urgently need cyclophosphamide (Neosar) and Evolocumab injections but can't afford them due to my illness. I'm reaching out for help to obtain these life-saving medications. Your support would make a tremendous difference.

New version of an existing ask. Still a scam. There are no atomic bombs dropped in Palestine. Regular bombs, yes. But none of them are atomic.

sassyhamed is the one sending it.

Previous urls using the ask: futuristicamhhed/mortallydelicatehhamdi

[vocalchords]

i think those posts that talk about how The Fandom Turnaround (tm) has gotten much much shorter in the past years & how the sharing of fan-made content is on a steady decline have a point, but they've also rung hollow for me for quite a while and i've just realized why:

oc artists have been living like that this whole time. and i myself am an oc artist— an amateur, for sure!!! i am not nearly as talented as nearly all of my friends when it comes to the visual arts, but i am improving and my work still deserves to be acknowledged.

i get trapped in these little echochambers where i wonder if my art is the scum of the earth, or if people just aren't reblogging it because it isn't directed at a specific fandom.

take my voidfish cosplans. that was a once-in-a-blue-moon fandom post. and it was a sketch. it took me all of an hour to make, and it blew up to a hundred notes because it's fandom content.

my oc art takes me much longer, and it's a miracle to even get half as many notes as that. my oc art usually gets anywhere from 15 to 30 notes:

[ID: three screenshots of the notes on some of my art posts. the first has 24 notes, the second has 18, and the third has 30. end ID.]

and this includes all of my self-reblogs and, of course, likes, which i'm sure we all know by now don't do shit. one of my most recent pieces i spent nearly 40 hours making, and as of writing this post, it sits at 24 notes. taking into account self reblogs and likes... yikes!!

most people whose oc work gets popular does so because they were either popular fanartists beforehand or the work displays insanely good technical talent (or, rarely, they just get very lucky). and good for those people!!! but i also put a lot of work into my oc content, and so do a lot of my friends. our work also deserves recognition. supporting fanartists is not the end all be all. independent artists who aren't heavily tied to fandom often get discouraged because no one is interested in the work they create. it's really sad to see.

so support oc artists!!! scroll through "my ocs" "my characters" tags on tumblr!! yes the sorry excuse for an algorithm here sucks but you never know!!! you might strike gold!!! support your mutuals that you already have!!!! support small artists and beginners!!! enthusiasm for more independent artists' work can and will only foster an attitude that will help both fandom and non-fandom creative settings, but don't leave non-fandom work behind.

feel free to drop the urls of oc artists you know in the notes :]

[keeponquinning]

Yes, Professor — Part One of Three.

Joseph Quinn x Erotica Novelist Fem!Reader. 18+

Word Count — 4.6k

Summary — slightly based on this, but mainly. You're Joseph's secret writer girlfriend who you met amidst the start of his convention tours, things are hot and heavy between you two, though strained for the inconvenience of not living in the same city and not being official. You're forced to spend a week apart but plan to meet up with him back in London on the last day of his Con appearance, and after teasing him for his Professor type choice of outfits, well, you just couldn't resist showing up dressed as your professor's favorite student, now could you? We thought not.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Part One — He's in London, you? Are not. In a party for you best friend's boyfriend, you manage to get him in a call, hearing his voice, laughing, conversations wishing to see his face, but you can take what you can get.

Preview —

Warnings — Not too many, nothing really smutty happens this part, maybe some dirty talk. Established relationship, it is a big ol' RPF and my first attempt. If not your thing, that's valid AF, just don't be mean / a dick about it. I am but a drop in this massive ocean called Tumblr, just swim on past and enjoy the waves without me if it bothers, I beg. There's also cursing. 18+ so minors, PLEASE, DNI!

Notes — Oh, this came out sooner than my last one, huh?? Mainly because I decided to split this into three parts instead of one big ol' one shot. I def learned my lesson lmao I had a lot of fun writing this, dialogue and banter are my fave things and there was a lot of that in this. Kinda fell in love with these two and planning on doing an actual multi-chaptered fic with them, how they met, all that jazz, let me know if it's something you'd want. Or not, if I get just one person like "yes, please" I'll do it bc people pleasing tendencies fuel me. I've left Reader pretty vague and ambiguous but we do have her mentioning Joseph's British-ness and obviously not living in the same continent because transatlantic romance is so rom com it hurts, but, feel free to ignore that and implant your own background on her, kinda the point, right?? Alright, hope you like this! Like, Reblog and Comment, they fuel me and make my heart go pitter patter!

Taglist — @lunaapis , @munsons-mayhem28 , @inourtownofhawkins , @hopperscock ( i fucking love this url you have no idea )

"What are you wearing?"

You hear an amused chuckle on the other end of the call, along with a distinct clicking of tongue. "...don't I get a hello first or are you missing me that much?"

A snort comes out your way, totally undignified, but he'd never call you out on it. "I mean, I am, but... Shut up." He's cackling now, that laugh that makes you smile stupidly and you're glad you're on an audio call rather than face time — though you wouldn't mind seeing his stupidly pretty face. "I'm serious, what are you wearing?"

"Why are you asking?" his voice strained, amused, but strained. He must be smiling, his laughter barely dying down.

Taking a deep breath, you explain, "Because I haven't seen you in a week and from the photos I've been seeing of you all day today... I need to prepare myself for when I see you tomorrow."

"I need you to repeat that, not the nonsense about my clothes but the...seeing me tomorrow bit."

Your eyes closed, lips stretching in a smile that, in the crowded room you were in the middle of, you tried to suppress. Teeth biting your lip, eyes cautiously looking around the party you were attending but your mind being on a man across the pond as it were, you let out a soft scoff. "....I need to prepare myself for when I see you tomorrow."

"Damn fucking right you will," his voice low, almost a growl that was...unfortunate, considering your surroundings. But more important, his tone was wistful. You heard the sound of gentle squeak, taking to mean that he sat on his bed, one that you missed very much at the moment. "I can't wait for that, and you will be needing to prepare yourself once we're alone... I fucking miss you."

"Mmm, your voice notes kinda gave that impression, yeah," you chuckled, hearing his as well. "Though I enjoyed hearing them when I wake up. It's lame, but, I do miss hearing your voice first thing in the morning." You hear him take a deep breath, exhaling with a soft hum. "Among other things. Hotel beds are just a bit too cold without you."

"Mhm, feeling the same way with my own bed, darling. Have to remind myself it's just been a week, but, feels a bit longer. Can't wait to have you back, though I know, temporarily."

"I know," this time it was you that sounded wistful. You knew you shouldn't, it was a good reason you'd be away from him. The latest in your book series was out there, digitally and in a week, in physical form. The gap between that and the previous book a bit too wide for your liking, or that of your publisher and readers. It was good that you finally finished it, but in that, included a tour of the book, which meant away from him, your sort of boyfriend. "At least you'll have me for a week, well, between your filming, anyway. Enough time for your friends to get sick of me and then wish I went away to have you to themselves again and for my friends to miss the me that isn't attached to your hip."

"Hah," he scoffed, a sound of a stretch that you could only assume was him laying down on his bed. "My friends are sick of me now, keep complaining about how I miss you. Even have Wes saying if I'm this needy without you, can't imagine how you handle me by your side, so, you've somehow got their sympathy and on your side, I'm the problem now, apparently." You couldn't hold in the laugh that barked its way out of you, and you could hear the offense even from the other line. "Oi. Don't laugh, you knew I was needy from the get go, I made no attempt to hide that."

Recovering from the laugh, you have a nod, though you knew he couldn't see, "Yeah, you are a bit of a clinger." Your smile still lingering, eyes soft, "But... It's...kinda one of your more endearing qualities, so... I'll take it."

"Oh, how gracious of you, accepting that I fucking adore you to the point of being miserable enough without you and getting on my friends fucking nerves"

He always made you laugh, you didn't even know if he intended to, but you could hear him laughing alongside you, so he must have, right? "God, hearing you curse is the best, y'know? You seem like a nice, proper boy, but then you curse and it..." You shake your head, "Makes me miss you more."

You heard him scoff, a wet sound, and you could almost see him licking his lips with a smile. "I know, dead sexy and all that... Hard to resist."

A shrug of your shoulders, more to yourself, of course, "...it kinda is. Makes me wanna do things to you to make you curse more..."

He groaned, which was also a lovely noise on its own. "Don't say things like that when you're not in grabbing distance, it's not fair."

You smiled, almost wickedly, eyes catching sight of your best friend, the only reason you were away from him at the moment. "Yeah, well, at least you're alone on your bed, I'm surrounded by people in my pretty dress, not getting grabbed and kissed by you and..." you trailed off as said best friend stopped in front of you, a pointed brow arched. You cleared your throat, smile still in place, "Which is totally fine, because I'm here to support my best friend and her crazy talented boyfriend on his birthday and album release and I'm totally fine with it."

"Mhm," she let out with a nod, "What I thought. Hi, Joe, can you two say goodbye because said boyfriend is gonna start up in a few minutes and I will not have you two have phone sex while he's performing, thank you."

"Excuse me!"

"You're not excused! You're so not excused — you're not allowed."

"That's just—" you were about to say rude when you very clearly hear the cackling on the other end of your call. "Stop laughing! You're not allowed to laugh right now, that's not fair."

"I'm sorry!" he let out, his voice thin, high, and you could hear an attempt to calm the laughter — but an attempt he did not win as more laughter came rolling out, making your lips twist and wanting to laugh despite yourself. Why did his laugh have to be so infectious sometimes? "I'll stop, I swear..." he continued, making you roll your eyes, looking at the smirking face of your best friend. "....oh, god... Tell Jen I said hello."

You couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, looking over at her, "The painfully British one says hello, because manners maketh the man I'm sure."

Jen cackled as well, shaking her head, "I'll give you two like, ten minutes, tops. You're introducing them, remember?"

"Of course. Ten minutes." A mock salute given, you watch as she turned toward the stage of the intimate venue, just a smaller group of closest friends. Taking a deep breath, directing your attention to your phone, "J o e."

"Oh, no, not Joe. I'm always in trouble when I get Joe instead of your usual Joseph."

"Damn right, that was not cool, I know we're not official, but, you have to have my back. It's the most chivalrous thing to do."

He snickered, "I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, well," you heard him release a soft laugh, then heard, "...not to point fingers but you did start the conversation asking me what I was wearing... So was that...not where this was heading...?"

You clicked your tongue off the roof of your mouth very disappointingly, kind of. "No, you perv, I just wanted to know if my sort of boyfriend is going to continue dressing up as a slutty professor so I can figure out how to handle seeing that in person."

"I—" he started, but words cut off with a snicker, and then a proper laugh. "You—Okay. Several things. Don't fucking call me your sort of boyfriend. I am your boyfriend, just.... Well. Secret boyfriend. At least for now—"

"—until your publicist deems me worthy of being known to be dating you."

"No, just... Until we're more established, is all. And I am looking forward to that, taking you to events and such. I'd love to go to the book tour with you, show off how fucking proud I am of you and this book. But... I also don't want to overshadow your accomplishment, the way it's so mad right now. But I am your boyfriend, I know you say it in a joking manner with Jen and our friends, I get it, but... And it's fine to joke about it. Really. But I need you to know it's real for me and I hope it is for you, too. It... It is, isn't it?"

You smiled softly, his words warming your heart more than they should, once again blown away by his sense of sincerity. You never really dated anyone like that before and sometimes, it honestly takes you by surprise. "... Yeah, I know. And I don't mind it, honestly. I'd end things if I did... You're my boyfriend and I'm your girlfriend and...if my joking around hurt you in any way, then I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it. Not with something like this. You...mean a lot to me in a very short amount of time and...it's kind of overwhelming sometimes."

There was a soft sigh, a pleased one, from the other end of the call. "I know. I feel the same. Was never expecting you, or anyone, not like this. And no, you didn't hurt me, not one bit. There's no worry of that. I just needed you to know, I'm in this with you."

Though you certainly didn't need to hear it, there's a lightness from within your chest at his words, a light ease in your breathing and your soft smile grew wide. You didn't need him to confirm what you already knew, but, it was lovely to hear. "Me too. I'm in this, too. Especially if you're going to be sweet like that," you end with a light chuckle, joined by his own. "Not fair on your part. But, I'll let it pass."

"My girlfriend is very gracious like that, I'm so lucky to have her."

"Don't you forget it. Okay. I'm assuming you had more to say?"

"Yes, thank you for that. Was quickly getting side tracked... I just wanted it to be known that I am severely disappointed that phone sex is off the table, that broke my heart since we've been in an almost constant state of phone tag, its ridiculous," you giggled at that, actually giggled which was rare. And he knew it, you could hear his chuckle, and though you couldn't see him, you knew he was pleased with that smug little smirk on his lips. "But, I'll survive that. Also. Slutty professor? I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. You dress like a romantic, slutty professor to these things and you know it."

"I think someone's too far into their own erotica stories and confusing some things, I... Dress as a professional. I have to. My stylist deems it so and I just...do as I'm told."

"...Joseph. What were you wearing today, and don't lie, I've seen the pictures. I just wanna hear you say it."

"You're being absolutely ridiculous, I... My loafers, my favorite ones, trousers, erm... Blue button shirt and... Well, a cardigan..." There was a pause, and you knew he was rethinking it all. "...beige cardigan and.....my dark grey...coat—okay. Maybe... Maybe it was a bit professor-ish. You...might be on to something there..."

"Uh-huh. Dressed like a professor who cares and has long office hours for any of his students to come by to unwind..."

"Stop that," he let out with a laugh. "That should be your next book."

"Oh, who says it won't be? I'll dedicate it to you, for inspiration. I'm assuming you'd be open for me to come to you for...brainstorming? Test out scenes, just, y'know, for the sake of art and authenticity?"

"Morning, noon and night, yes, I'm all yours and your....creativity." He chuckled, softly, there was a lingering silence between the two of you, and then a groan from his end. "Just out of curiosity... Would... I dunno, say...a sweater vest, erm... Like....Oof, a grey one with a dark jacket, that um... Is that slutty professor chic, you think?"

"I fucking knew it."

"Hold on! It was... It was a thought... Are you into the slutty professor look, though?"

"Why do you think I called you in the first place? Yes, of course I'm into it. Do you know what it's like, seeing your pics all over my social media, people sending me pics of you with that cardigan and long coat and just... Do you?"

You could almost hear his smug smile as he let out an even soft chuckle. "I do, actually... You're wearing that burgundy dress aren't you?" Your brows rose, though you didn't say anything, not yet. A soft little hum buzzing into your ear through your phone. "I've been stalking your instagram the past week, so I saw the picture you posted today. It's that burgundy dress I like. The one with the bow at the hip and the... The matching choker with the jewelry that you think is almost tacky but... I like it. Gave me something to look at the other time you wore it, remember that? Was it New Years? Took you to an empty room right before countdown, lifted your skirt and—"

"S t o p, we're not doing that, not now," though you smiled, remembering the moment quite clearly, feeling your skin flush especially as he laughed then. He had such a nice, deep, warm laugh sometimes. "...okay, so, yes, I'm wearing that dress... It's not the same, though, like, aside from that choker you love so much, it's pretty tame in comparison..."

"Mm, not for me. I love that color on you. I love anything on you if it means I can take it off of you. And—a cardigan's tame. A long coat is tame."

"The hell a long coat is tame, that's... Anyway, you wear the slutty professor really well and it's not fair. Especially if you're going to to do tomorrow. After being away from you a week... That's cruel, baby. I won't even be able to touch you until the con's over." You heard him hum, probably thinking the very same. A thought comes, making you chuckle suddenly, "I should retaliate."

"...oh god," he let out, clearly recognizing when a wicked thought comes to mind. "Pray tell, how?"

"Why... Professor..."

"....Oh, fuck."

"Yup. By dressing up as one of your favorite students, of course."

"....jesus fucking christ." You heard a small groan, "God, you would, wouldn't you? I don't know if I could take that. It's been a week, body going in withdrawal without you and the sight of you with knee high socks..."

"Hmm. Telling that the knee high is the first thing you go to. Noted."

He chuckled, "Yes, well... The thought of you in knee highs is rather... I wouldn't take them off. Not the entire time."

Your smile widened, biting your bottom lip. "Yeah? Mmm. Well, good, because I'd definitely wear your favorite colors, just for you, Professor."

"Fuck off," he said softly, though, and when you laughed, you heard him let out a breath. "Shit. I can't shake the image, now. My favorite student, dressed so pretty for me. Looking nice and soft...with uh..." He exhaled, "Burgundy knee highs, snug and soft..."

You kept a careful eye around you, trying so hard to suppress your smile. But the sound of his voice was so...alluring, finding yourself squeezing your thighs a little bit. "Keeping up with the color theme, I see..."

"It is my favorite color at the moment, especially on you."

You hummed, "Okay. Question, knee highs or thigh highs?"

"No," his voice instant, "Gotta be the knee highs. I'd want... I'd want your thighs absolutely bare. For my fingers to run and roam over the skin... And...then, y'know... I wouldn't be able to resist to kiss you there as well. Gentle ones of course, but, being away from you this time...wouldn't be long until I start biting..."

A breathless laugh escapes you, now not even caring if anyone looked or listened in on you. It had been a while since you talked to him in real time, without having to push play, it was too good to cut away from. "For someone that says they can't write for the life of them, you're not doing too bad, Professor. You might give a run for my money if you ever decide to go into the erotica business."

"Mmm, tempting, but no. I'll leave that to you. It'd just be a novel of me fucking you and I'd rather have the real thing. But... Was I good enough to get you wet for me, darling?"

It shouldn't make you blush, you built your whole career in literary dirty talk and seducing your readers with your words... But when Joseph did it, his words and voice always struck you deep. Much deeper than any other partner had, which was slightly scary and mainly thrilling. You felt the heat creeping up your neck, a soft giggle being awarded to him. "....you know you are." You heard a pleased sigh from him, taking in a deep breath as you try to calm yourself. That no, sneaking off wasn't an option, that the growing ache between your legs would have to wait, even if you wouldn't have him talk you through it, guide you toward climax in the only way he could. But. "You got me wet and feeling it now every time I walk around in my pretty burgundy dress in a room filled with people."

"Well... I'm alone in my lonely room with a very bothersome hard on and... Probably feel lonelier still when we say our goodbyes and I'll only have my hand and thoughts of you in your pretty burgundy dress, wet, wishing I can feel just how wet you are."

You let out a breath, closing your eyes a moment. "...and I'd wish it was my hand, my mouth, on that...bothersome hard cock," you heard him groan, making your heart flutter, as well as your cunt. "Like I've been fantasizing this past week."

He took a deep breath, you could hear the exhale produce static on your end, a soft hum. "Same here, love. Suppose we'll be doing the same thing tonight..."

With a dejected sigh, you have an affirming hum, "Our ten minutes are about done. Otherwise I'd sneak to a room somewhere and..." You chuckled, "Tell you in excruciating detail the things I'd do to you to make you curse." His laugh comes out at that, making your smile spread further on your face. "But. I am due on stage to introduce my best friend's boyfriend and his band, so... She'd kill me if I missed that, and then would go and kill you, and no one wants that."

"No, no, we do not. That's fine. More to release when I see you tomorrow. Probably keep you to myself for the rest of the week, fair warning, darling."

"Yes, Professor. I'm very okay with that."

The way he groaned at that made your heart flutter again, as well between your legs. You did miss him, terribly, your fingers and toys did little to satisfy you, not without his warmth, his kiss, the moans you'd swallow and hunger for more. "...keep that up and I won't want you to call me anything else."

"Is it bad I kinda like it? P r o f e s s o r?"

He gave a helpless laugh, "Shit, it is. It's very bad of you. Naughty, even. Wicked. My poor coc—"

"Tomorrow, only until tomorrow. And then I'll make it up to you, in any way you want me to. I'll call you professor if you want me to."

"I knew there was a reason you're my favorite student..." You smiled and you could feel he was smiling too. "Okay. I'm going to give you back to your best friend, again. Thank her for me, for letting me have you to myself for this long."

"I will, she'll expecting nothing less. Think of me?"

He chuckled, and you could picture him shaking his head. "When am I not? Especially right now, left to my own devices... Until I have you to myself again." You heard him take a sharp intake of breath, "Have fun, yeah? I love you."

You felt like a teenager again, at the sound of those three words, said recently, right before you left. A slip of the tongue, but meant with sincerity from you both. "I love you, too. I'll see you... Bye."

"Bye, darling. I can't wait."

There was a heaviness that weighed on you as you ended the call, knowing it had to be you, otherwise you wouldn't end it at all. The warmth of his voice lingered, the image of his face imprinted on your brain, curling your fingers around your phone. A thought hitting you like lightning, going to messages and tapping quickly.

Send me a voice note. I wanna hear you.

He liked it.

Your smile widening as you turned around, dumping your phone into your purse and with your heels, made it toward the small stage where the band were setting up. Hands went to Jen's shoulders, hugging her from behind. "I'm all yours, now. He said thank you for letting him have me for the call."

She scoffed with a roll of her eyes, "Gross, you guys are gross."

"Shut up, we're cute." Jen seeming unconvinced. "Whatever, I'm happy."

Your best friend gave a shrug, "Then that's okay." You pulled away and stood beside her, and she took a breath. "He does seem to make you happy and... I don't hate that. Just the whole...secret relationship thing gives me pause." Crossing her arms, she looked to you, raising her brow. "Be honest.... You really okay with it? Because if you are, I'll back off and be one hundred percent for you guys. Because he is nice and seems crazy about you and I haven't seen you this happy in a while... I just don't want you hurt, y'know? I'm not being a bitch—"

"You're never a bitch—" you interjected, pausing as you two looked at each other, and you smirked. "Okay, well, yeah, you are, but for good reasons. A boss bitch, through and through." You paused a bit, giving a shrug of your shoulders. "I dunno. We talked about it... I kinda get it, he kinda blew up overnight and doing...so many things and I... I can't even imagine. I got booktok and like... Well, this book tour, but, obviously nothing on his level. He seems more concerned about if it came out, he'd overshadow my book and the press for it." Which you did appreciate, you worked hard, but part of the reason you got the book done as fast as you did was his encouragement. Being the first to read your pages, his excitement over the story you crafted holding a huge part. "It would have been nice to dedicate the book to him, but, since we aren't....out, didn't really feel right."

"Mmhm..."

"But. I don't know, at first it was kind of fun, sneaking around, dodging photographers, you know. Secret affair type of thing except not being horrible with spouses to cheat on, that kind of thing? And we were casual at first, seeing other people, until... We weren't and...not casual anymore. I mean, it's kind of still fun but also...not."

Taking a deep breath, she sighed. "And how long until it's not kind of fun for you?"

Looking over at her, you frowned, hating that she had a point. "I don't know. I'm not there yet... And I'm hoping it doesn't come to that because... I'm really fucking happy with him." Raising your brow, you give her a reassuring smile. "I'll be careful. And if I'm not, you can kick my ass about it."

"Deal," she agreed to, seeming a little lighter about the situation. "So, is he still going to dress all Mr. Darcy as a Professor when you see him?"

"I swear, he's a walking Jane Austen leading man, like it's just straight up Professor without him even trying." She laughed, you joining in. "It's gotta be a British thing, it has to." Laughing a bit harder, "I teased him with an idea, though, dressing up like a student."

"Oh? Oh, that'd be perfect. Are you meeting him after that con or...?"

A sly smile comes across your face, then, looking at her with a slight chuckle. "Mmm... Don't laugh, but... I actually planned on surprising him at the con?" Your smile widened as she gasped, looking at you agape. "I bought a photo and autograph with him. I knew there'd be no chance on the day of and I thought it'd be cute, you know? He doesn't know."

"Oh, God, I hate to say it, but that's fucking adorable! And kinda genius." Her eyes widened, "You know, though... I mean... The set up's too perfect, you have to dress all slutty student."

"Hey, slutty is for Halloween, I'd be dressed as his favorite student, with knee highs, he seemed very into that."

If her eyes could widen even further, Jen's would, letting out a bark of a laugh. "Oh my god, knee—no, no," shaking her head. "You are doing this. You are gonna do this. Listen...we're gonna make this happen."

"We don't have time, I'm getting the red eye, remember? And by the time this is over—"

But she was determined, shaking her head, "Nope, look. You're gonna introduce the band, because you are my amazing writer friend and words are your thing. We'll stay for a few songs, and then I'm going to take you shopping, okay? I'm making this happen, I'm gonna make this happen for you."

"I thought he gave you pause and you're gonna work this hard to make a fantasy come true for him?"

She wagged her finger from side to side, "Oh, no, no. Not for him, for you. Look, he seems great and he probably is, and maybe there will be a time where he's like a brother to me, but right now? I believe you when you say he makes you happy and that you're happy with him, I see it, so, I'm doing this for you. Because you are my best friend and that's love, bitch."

"I love you. Like... You'll always be my first love, in a totally platonic kind of way. Only because of the fact that you're annoyingly straight."

Jen sighed, "I know, it's a pain, but, we'll always have each other's backs and our hearts, before anyone else." Her gaze going toward the stage, her musician boyfriend giving her a nod, releasing a soft smile. "We didn't do so bad, though. You're up. Make me proud of my boyfriend, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, how do you want me to go about it? Soft and emotional, very serious or...roast him but from the heart?" You both looked at each other for a moment, the answer quite clear.

"Roast him."

for your consideration....

[red-man-of-mustache]

Namedropping

Hey everyone! We're gonna take a little detour today/tonight to talk about something that's happened between me and someone you might know at @askwendyokoopa. I labored with this because in all my time being on/off tumblr I've never had to make such a post as this. Usually, if I block someone or someone blocks me we both move on like normal people. In this case though, I was appraised of the habits of this person along with my own experience with them and I proceeded with a block only to be met with them hopping on another account to blatantly get around said block then, when I refused to engage further they name-dropped me. Here's the post in question I'll be addressing throughout.

But, let's begin shall we? I'll start by talking about me. This'll be a long read and I know I'm asking a lot but please read it in full if you interact with his person.

I hope I've tagged this appropriately, if I haven't let me know. I'll also be reblogging this for the day crowd.

My blog is a safe place. I rp Mario as very campy, bright, and happy-go-lucky so I extend that to my general post pattern. I take my name and reputation quite seriously and as stated just a second ago I wrestled with making this post but I cannot let what they've said go uncontested. If you're reading this and you interact with them then this isn't me damning you or claiming I won't interact with you because of it but this is simply a cautionary tale. With that being said, for the more sensitive bits of proof, shoot me a DM or hit me up on discord(available upon request) and I can furnish you with even deeper details than I plan on going into in this post.

I have always avoided airing out my dirty laundry so to speak when it comes to any aspect of my life on this blog. Although it is "my" blog and I can post whatever I want, again, this is a place of uplifting and an escape. Rare is it when I'll post about how I struggle with certain things or if I feel dejected from a certain community and so on. I made a post a few months ago talking about my substance abuse and how I overcame it. In that same post I spoke about my mom, her alcoholism, and how she injured me in an altercation we had. I did that to be open because these same struggles have impacted my time on here. I was heavily self-medicating during my last run on tumblr and although I was present it was because I literally wished I didn't exist at the time. It all culminated into last year, spilling into this year. You can read that post for that information. I won't entirely retread that ground here.

It's a heavy subject and it's a dark contrast to what I usually post but I did so in case anyone could take strength from knowing I made it through a major struggle such as that.

Now this is a post about @askwendyokoopa,whom we'll refer to as Wendy for the rest of this post, why am I talking about me first? Well, once again, I've never blocked someone and seen them 1. try to circumvent the block with another account(one that perpetrates what I've come to have an issue with on them, more on that later) and 2. have that same person namedrop me for that block as if I need to convince them I don't wish to speak with them anymore.

Yes, I did.

Truly this song & dance is new to me. Again, I take my name(url) very seriously so to call me out as if I've done something wrong to you for not wanting to speak to you?? That's my right, you can't play victim just because I didn't give you a college thesis. This is the internet, if I don't wanna communicate with you I just won't.

I don't make vague posts about people I don't like, nor do I vaguely allude to me going through a tough time(at least I try not to, if I have those incidents are few and far between) I'll outright say I'm not feeling it or something along those lines but even then I have to be going through hell to make such a post. I also refuse to put it on my moots and followers when I feel inadequate because I'm here to lift you up not the other way around. If you choose to drop a compliment on my writing or personality, great! I deeply appreciate it and it motivates me to keep going but I'm here to give a boost to everyone around me through Mario. He's been with me since I was a kid and always a figure of inspiration in how he faces down trouble. I could use a bit of that in my adult life. I just wanna share that with everyone else.

I've actually been sort of a monolith my whole time on Tumblr and you know what? It's gotten me into a lot of trouble I can't lie. I'm doing my best to break that pattern by being upfront with how I feel, speaking to people more even if it's just to say "Hey I like your blog" or something simple along those lines. How can I claim to wanna provide a morale boost to people if I'm as reclusive as I (still) am? Doesn't make sense which is why I've been moving to change it.

This is not to name me a victim by the way. All this person did was namedrop me and mildly annoy me/make me uncomfortable but I've spoken with actual victims of their harassment and that was actually the last straw. So if anything I'm getting off light, I'm only doing this to clear my side of things and provide clarity for why this is happening.

I met Wendy way back in the infancy of my old @red-man-of-archive blog which I'm sure is obvious that it was the same URL you see me using now when it was active. Things were casual but consistent. IC Wendy had a crush on Mario but he usually never reciprocated and just moved on. Was it harassment back then? No. We didn't talk OOC and kept things "business" as I'll call it. They were amicable and their portrayal was pretty accurate in my opinion of course. Nothing funny going on to my knowledge.

Fast forward to me going through the various issues I did, being unable to even keep up with basic blog activity, and then going on extended hiatus. I tried coming back but had lost my phone number by then due to financial reasons and I decided this was the chance I needed to start over. So I did! I remade the blog September of 2018, archived the old one since I was still somehow logged in on my phone at the time and moved on. I don't think Wendy was around when I started over but they did come around. And to clarify: it still wasn't harassment. Things were casual, when threads ended they didn't have a foul word to say.

I end up dropping out again from tumblr, still in the storm that is my life. Not even a full month later either. I'd pop in for spurts of activity but it never lasted. Didn't see hide or hair of Wendy during this period.

Then we arrive at this year. Nearly three years after my last posting. I had quit smoking(THC) completely, I'm on the uptick in my job/finances, and I'm seeing a therapist. Took a look back and I've been reclusive, posting from my little cave this whole time and I came to the realization that if I want any staying power I need to put more of me out there alongside Mario. So, I start approaching people OOC more and trying to be forthcoming in where our threads are going or if I'm liking/disliking something.

Coming back to Wendy. When I got back so-to-speak I went through my followers to see if anyone was still active. Three years is a long time after all. I came across her again: Wendy. I looked at the timestamps, saw how far back they'd posted but they were among the people I felt comfortable enough to message despite the inactivity. Ironic.

Now, I can't show chat messages between us because when I blocked them the messages were nuked. I don't feel like attempting an unblocking to revive it but I'm about 90% sure they can see my posts anyway. Bear with me a little longer on this narration.

They get back to me after a bit and we start chopping it up. We catch up and I'll be 100% transparent in saying yes I did go along with everything being suggested. We started an entire thread based off innuendo but it was quite ham-fisted and when I stopped replying they began to pester me "Did I do something wrong? Can you not find another acronym?" even going so far as to start interacting with me through a different post and asking in character why I didn't reply.

That thread and the in character incident are gone unfortunately as I deleted them. But, I've got more than that to share. Innuendo isn't inherently bad nor does it go outside of what I do here as Mario.

By this point my patience has been tested and I realize this isn't the same amicable person I used to deal with. I can't speak for others OOC but I will say they hijack posts very often to ramble in character with this self-referential tone that makes it quite obvious this isn't Wendy(the character) speaking but the mun or simply turn things inappropriate. A few examples, we got

Just bizarre, plus it's AI

Again, weird, but not a blockable offense. They've at least put the bare minimum of effort in to tag it, I guess right? Well, around the time the gears were turning regarding this person's odd and pushy behavior there was someone within a server I've joined who made an announcement about them given they've had experience with this person. Unfortunate experience it seems.

They detailed a lot of things as did a few other moots of mine but one thing in particular stuck out to me. They claimed that this particular person used a whole host of other blogs to stalk/harass them. Then I remember this post.

Wait a second... going to their profile proper we see

Then if we hover over Pom Pom we see

So, not only do they have a laundry list of accounts at their disposal but they use them to circumvent blocks, and then will talk to themselves using these same accounts.

I don't wanna associate with someone like this. And this is just the tip of the iceberg, if I haven't convinced you yet, contact me through tumblr DM's or discord and I can let you know what else I know because their rap sheet is longer than their muse list.

They mass follow people within communities they're active in and even if you block this main blog, they could be on your follower list and you don't even know it. Thusly, I am going to suggest you block this person and their list of alternative blogs, and move on. If I still haven't convinced you, once again hit me up privately because I've got more personal stuff to share that doesn't belong here per se.

I don't wanna see this person victimize other people and that's why I took the time to put out this warning. All that talk earlier from me about "uplifting people" but I'm making a callout post right? Well, once again, I didn't want to originally because I thought I could just move on. But, this is a chronic pattern of behavior exhibited by this person and I don't wanna see them victimize someone else. If me blocking them didn't get them up in arms enough to namedrop me and play the victim themselves we wouldn't be here. Plus, I wasn't the only person addressed in their little callout post.

So, that's the scoop on why I blocked askwendyokoopa and why I believe you should too. They are not worth your time or energy.

The rabbit hole goes deeper but I've rambled long enough.

My discord is available upon request if you'd like to discuss things further. This will be my first and last time addressing them/this situation publicly. I don't do drama and in a month it'll be ten years since I started posting on tumblr. This has never happened to me before and I'd like to keep it that way.

Thank you.

[sui-imi]

[OLD Q&A] Roo answers some stuff

Hello! A month or so ago, I had Roo answer some questions on twitter. I decided that it'd also be good to archive most of them here, so you guys can learn a bit more :] (some of it is kind of important?? i think... haha)

Click here to read the original tweet and all responses.

NOTE: answers are in character! Therefore, all questions below were answered by Roo! (undereats!sans)

edited: august 2024 (to fix small lore inaccuracies)

Qs & As under readmore! (warning: long post)

[names listed below are twitter users' URL.]

[Q from LazeroFox] Is there any place that you can’t really go? Like an au that’s destroyed-

[ROO] depends. if you know an AU's coordinates, the bike can create a portal for you. and when we receive orders, the customer's details are automatically sent to our phones.

[ROO] but if an AU's destroyed, it'll either send you to the void, or it won't create a portal at all.

---

[Q from mmm99tunas] Does Roo ever get a break? What does he spend his hard-earned Gs on? (aside from gallons of BBC sauce)

[ROO] oh yeah. i get loads of nap time inbetween rounds. just punch in some random cords, hide somewhere and snooze a bit. it's the easy life.

[ROO] (though technically that's not allowed so don't tell my boss)

[ROO] as for my G, usually i spend it at grillby's 2. it's hella good.

---

[Q from Malina_Vivvivu] Is there a place Roo hates delivering at :∆?

[ROO] hah... haha... hahaha....

[ROO] the doodlesphere, for one. and those evil sanses. i feel like i age 10 years everytime they're on my delivery list.

[ROO] why are they so violent?? they're the ones who ordered the food???

[M] They like playing before eating ((:

[ROO] is it playing or bullying??? i swear, it's like they only start when i arrive...

---

[Q from bl4ck_st4rs] What do you do if you mess up someone’s order? (pick up the wrong one or spill/drop it)

[ROO] woah now. i would never mess up a valued customer's order like that. who do you take me for?

[ROO] but if i did...

[ROO] you just gotta grovel. make 'em think you're gonna die if they don't forgive you. not that i'd ever mess up.

[* He looks shifty eyed.]

---

[Q from sweetnad_uwu] Hi Roo! The traveling moped u have, the only way anyone can get one is if they work to the same company you do? Or is there any other way to get it?

[ROO] hiya. and yep. gotta be a UE driver for the magic bike.

[ROO] the boss is REAL good at keeping track of 'em. they've never left a bike unaccounted for, and they always know when i "accidentally" break mine.

[ROO] feels like they're all-seeing or something. freaks me out.

---

[Q from AnnoyingFox20] dear roo,if you met an actual a person that charming and wise,nice,so caring do you consider to be your bf in your life? 😏😏😏

[ROO] sorry pal. spot's taken.

[* He's fiddling with a bottle.]

[ROO] his name's arbiter. he's real chill, owns the condiment hall. sells the best bbq sauce in the multiverse.

[* It seems he's mistaken 'bf' for 'bbq finder'...]

---

[Q from ZippyDoZane] Zane: Do you deliver to far off kingdoms? Also eh heh heh if you do could you stay for a bit? I got board games that we can play. The king will give you a big tip if you do eh heh heh.

[ROO] "UnderEats - if you can order it, we can deliver it!"

[ROO] ...that's not actually the slogan. it's actually...

[ROO] "UnderEats - tip the drivers, and they'll be your best buds!"

[ROO] ... so what time should i come over?

---

[Q from jasper2450] Have the bad guys ever wrecked your motorcycle?

[ROO] (cough) er... technically THEY didn't wreck it. but if they force me to use it, it's kind of their fault right??

[ROO] i mean, i always tell them, "don't make me use my special attack". and what do they do? they make me use it.

[ROO] so yes. it's their fault.

---

[Q from KaylaTSkeleton] is there anywhere roo likes delivering to?

[ROO] any AU where i can deliver food without being put in a whacky situation is good enough for me.

[ROO] i'm fond of underswap right now. swap papyrus is a real pain in the coccyx, but if i snitch to blue, it always pisses him off. hehehehe.

[ROO] plus they always tip well.

---

[Q from zeni_zetty] have you ever get Chase by simp???...

[ROO] huh? who? (what's a simp???)

[ROO] i mean, i HAVE been chased before. but i don't remember anyone specifically, except those bad sanses.

[ROO] ...do i even WANT to remember?? don't chase innocent workers please...

---

[Q from necropathy_] Do you have any destinations/AUs that you don't mind/prefer delivering to?

[ROO] underswap, outertale, dancetale...

[ROO] and uh... horror AUs. well, they don't really order. but sometimes food just. slips out of my bag whilst i'm passing through.

[ROO] uh. don't tell the boss. we have this whole non-intervention policy, so...

---

[Q from SolarPhoenix7] I know you probably deliver a lot of different foods, but what's your own favorite dish?

[ROO] anything bbq flavoured is delish.

[ROO] by the way. you ever been to grillby's 2? their burgers are to die for. tho honestly i could eat just about anything and enjoy it.

[ROO] as long as it's not mtt food. no idea how they own so many stores across the multiverse. 0 stars.

---

[Q from Greedy621] Hi! Do you ever getting weird requests other than food delivery?

[ROO] the app is only designed for food delivery, so not particularly. but it does has a messaging feature. which is used... creatively... by some people.

[ROO] if anyone ever sends you a pic on there, don't open it. i promise you it's not worth it.

[G] Ok, now I’m curious what kind of pictures have you saw to made you give this advice.

[* He looks like he's remembering something unpleasant...]

[ROO] sorry, client confidentially. trust me... you REALLY don't wanna know.

[fall-on-this-widows-peak]

Introduction Post

This is Fallon Vacker here. If anyone's unaware, I'm a Telepath and Empath. [OOC: the abilities are part of my personal headcanons; Fallon does NOT have confirmed abilities in canon.] Long ago, I was a Councillor, but nowadays (to my great relief and satisfaction) I am not. I was also once a musician, which I technically still am, though I haven't released anything in...some time.

I've been told by...let's just say several people, that's less embarrassing, isn't it, to be more present in life, though I don't see why. Short of actually leaving my estate Mistmead (which I hate to do because it is extremely stressful and inconvenient), this website, where many of the people I know are active, is the best way to do so. So here I am.

[OOC: Hi! This RP blog is run by @worldsunlikemyown, where my general KOTLC posts are. EDIT: I have moved the main for this account to @main-to-worldsunlikemyown-etc. Any asks, anon or otherwise, are welcome, as are people's OCs (OC relatives, spouses for Fallon etc)! DM this blog if you want a planned-out thread, or just drop an ask if it's casual! Not sure if the RP does this yet, but if they do, I'm entirely open to AUs or canon-verse at any time in the past.

I send RP asks on anon, but I will tag this blog in the ask to identify myself :)

Organisation tags:

#what did i say again -- RPing and in-character posts will be tagged with this

#rp -- RP threads will be tagged with this

#out of daydreams -- ooc posts will be tagged with this

Any blogs I've roleplayed with will be tagged with their urls (eg: if I roleplayed in a thread from the Alden blog, the post in which I reply will be tagged #alden-dedrick-vacker)

#a mysterious individual -- replies made to unidentified anons will be tagged with this

Tags will always be OOC unless stated otherwise

Disclaimer: this IS the first time I'm joining a big roleplay group like this, so please tell me politely if I mess up at any point!

Tagging @kotlc-rp-official to officially kick this off!]

People I know (or should get to know):

Family members: @alden-dedrick-vacker @fitz-avery-vacker @fitzroy-avery-vacker (?) @sparkles-make-anything-better (Biana Vacker) @alvar-not-vacker

Old friends (though I have a feeling that I'm not friends with some of them anymore): @fintan-pyren @bronte-the-inflictor @vespera-neci-foland

Friends of my younger relations: @keefe-sencen @therealsophieelizabethfoster @tam-shade-song @linh--song @dex-the-smart-one

@rex-dizzneeeeeeee @lexicle-the-third (Lex Dizznee) @bexisthecoolest (Bex Dizznee) @the-only-maruca-chebota @flasher-boi-endal (Wylie Endal)

@shut-up-i-will-burn-you (Marella Redek) @im-just-cooler (Stina Heks) @jensi-babbles-lots (Jensi Babblos)

@amy-rose-foster @little-miss-neverseen (Rayni Aria)

Members of the (is it called the Black Swan??): @the-prettiest-ice-cube (Squall) @blurrieidentities (Blur) @prentices-husband (Tiergan Alenefar/Grranite)

@candies-and-sparkles (Livvy Sonden/Physic) @norwegian-trickster-god (Mr. Forkle) @constantly-tinkering

Members of the...Neverseen, yes that's it: @lady-gisela (Gisela Sencen) @ruy-tonio-ignis @trix-up-my-sleeve @brant--redacted @umberthebettershade

Councillors (glad I'm no longer one): @terik-the-councillor @oralie-pretty-in-pink @councillor-kenric-fathdon

Various Elvin adults: @quinlin-sonden @not-a-fan-of-that-boy (Grady Ruewen) @edaline--ruwen @elwin-at-your-service (Elwin Heslege) @magnatetheleto

@thebestsencen (Cassius Sencen)

Other individuals: @igowhereyougo (Sandor) @therarestprattlespin (Silveny) @hunkyhairs-backup (Ro) @iggy-the-imp @king-dimitar

Official organisations: @black-swan-official @neverseen-official @foxfire-official @exillium @thematchmakingoffice

@the-official-matchmaking-office @thecouncil-official @eternalialibrary-official

[atopvisenyashill]

so dany is tptwp but why do they feel the need to rectify that in the show 😭

i’m 99% sure dany’s going to have a religious fanatic arc in the books

I'm putting these together because they're kind of related. also i don't want to tag for hotd spoilers because i don't want to invite weird anons to find this or weirdos to screenshot my url so be warned i'm talking about the leaks and my dark dany theories in this one. okay-

So first of all...yes, this is why people compare her to Paul Atreides or even Anakin Skywalker in that the concept of being a Chosen One is going to go to her head in a very bad way and it's going to be a huge part of her story going forward. We're all set for this in the books tbh. We have several schisms happening in the R'hollor faith with people already saying she's a savior, and the fact that R'holloric magic works similar to Valyrian magic (ie uses a lot of fire and blood) is not lost on me. There's several prophecies centered around this Promised Hero In The Face Of The Long Night and Dany is linked to several of them; most notably The Prince That Was Promised and The Stallion Who Mounts The World, but now we have this Azor Ahai connection with the R'hollor priests coming out in support of Dany. And what's more is that Dany is primed to believe in all of this stuff - she hatched dragons and the bleeding star showed up with haste, she's had first the HOTU visions and then Quaithe's warning not to mention the whole Stallion scene and her own weird fever dream-prophecies. There's a whole city state of people who call her MOTHER. Oh yeah, she is ready to take a dive head first into being the Chosen One and make that the center point of her entire campaign. Especially imo after Stannis dies and there's this vacuum of who gets to be the insane "i have the divine right" person; Jon Snow doesn't even want to acknowledge he can warg he is not going to encourage any sort of prophecy shenanigans, and I think that opens the door for a) Dany to step into that role and b) for the followers of R'hollor sans Melisandre to see Dany as their messiah.

The problem in the original show is that they bring this up and then just kind of...drop it. When in the books - whether she is killed by Jon/Arya or ultimately pulls a Nettles - this isn't going to be a positive thing. I've seen some people describe these prophecies - The Stallion, The Prince, Azor Ahai - as warnings rather than prophecies, but to be honest, aren't all prophecies warnings of the future? The thing is the warning isn't just the Long Night, it's about The Actual Prince. Look to the Stallion prophecy-

As swift as the wind he rides, and behind him his khalasar covers the earth, men without number, with arakhs shining in their hands like blades of razor grass. Fierce as a storm this prince will be. His enemies will tremble before him, and their wives will weep tears of blood and rend their flesh in grief. The bells in his hair will sing his coming, and the milk men in the stone tents will fear his name." The old woman trembled and looked at Dany almost as if she were afraid. "The prince is riding, and he shall be the stallion who mounts the world."

I think the prophecy, the dream, the vision, the warning, the legend, whatever you want to call it, is warning that as the Long Night happens, a savior will emerge...but they are a false messiah. They will not bring an end to the Long Night, they will only create more destruction. But the people who had these prophecies focused on Bad Thing Happens -> Powerful Person Emerges From The Ashes and took that mean the powerful person will stop the bad things and not exacerbate the bad things and distract from the original problem.

Now I think part of why D&D did the ending Like That is a) they're lazy as shit and b) Dany took off as a character and they had no idea how to reign it in so they just like....didn't. I think there's plenty of evidence in the show that Dany was going to take a Stannis esque turn but depicting that was too much trouble (think about how they cut all her most banger lines because that would involve trying to get her introspective thoughts into dialogue somehow. instead of figuring it out, they just lazily cut it all out. i still can't believe these dudes got handed this IP when they clearly don't care about the themes, it makes me fucking weep. like, filoni and abrams really fucked up star wars but i think it's clear they like star wars ya know? i don't think d&d really like this series that much, not in the way condal & hess seem to) so they just short cutted to that bells scene which was fairly lazy. Her fall from grace is going to be so much slower, so much more complex, and so much more heart breaking than what was in the show. And a large part of this will center around seeing herself as a messiah to the Poor And Downtrod.

And this fall (again....I don't think it’s out of the realm of possibility that Dany snaps out of it somehow - George has hinted we're going to dig more into the magic and how it works, and perhaps there will be some revelations on the exact nature of what The Promised Prince really is that makes Dany finally reflect on her journey instead of refusing to look back, and fuck off into the Great Unknown in an attempt to erase herself from the narrative others have written for her and write her own at last. I'm serious when I say I think that's about as likely as Jon/Arya killing her after she burns KL). this fall of hers is the crux of the entire series. It's where everything is leading to, this realization that there is no promised prince coming to save anyone, it is the climax of every single story in the books. And we know Condal fucking LOVES that idea because he's been out here in interviews talking about Dark Dany since season 6 iirc but potentially even earlier. I think Condal really loves a tragic evil queen and a fall from grace and he didn't like the way they did Dany's descent. Not only that but I do think the prophecy aspect is fascinating to Condal.

The problem with all of this is like.......you can't rewrite the ending of GOT to have that aspect of the story as much as he wishes he could. You can't rewrite GOT so it had 12 seasons instead of 8. I think what he wants to do is really hint at the prophecies in the future and play with the concept of prophecy being untrustworthy but he's been boxed into this weird corner where interacting with the main story line of the books/the main show is nearly impossible because everyone hated it and george will never finish the books but this prophecy affected much more than we realize and also, He Likes It, he thinks it makes for a richer story. IDK how he fixes this, IDK where he goes from here, because having Daemon have a vision of Dany hatching eggs and realizing the prophecy was right, they DO need a Targ on the throne because a Targ will save Westeros IS imo a really interesting change that more or less fits with the story in F&B. BUT it looks like pandering, and it doesn't engage with the ultimate end game which is that Dany is not going to be happy with being the Chosen One. It's not a gift, it's not even a responsibility, it's a horror she's being forced to take up that could eat her alive. How do you even engage with those themes when the original show went Like That?

[yestrnight]

i'm so in love with your slime!reader series, (yes, so is everyone else. but. i'm Different, okay? i'm not Like Those Other Girls) it is infecting my brian

anyways, accept my offering of kaveh brain rot juice

cw for: dubcon, i think this is sexual torture, overstim, unrealistic amounts of cum(?), milking, mindbreak, my debatable writing skills, and lowkey sadism on slime's part

arrest me. i just want to see that man cry. listen, he's just a little soggy bread crumb of a man and i think he deserves to be milked into unconsciousness.

so, one day, like any other, you see kaveh scribbling away at his drawing desk. and as usual, he's having some trouble getting the work done. a bright idea pops into your otherwise empty, slimy head- and helpful little you decides to provide your master with some good encouragement! sucking him off under the desk and denying him release until he finishes his work! totally fool proof.

kaveh gets his work done in record time. is it good? doesn't matter, the only thought running around in his silly little fucked out brain is cumming. and you give him just that. except, you don't stop there.

at this point, all the orgasms have just melted together into one, long, torturously good high. kaveh is sure everyone in the neighborhood has heard his screams of pleasure, but it's not like he's in a position to care. the way you squelch and convulse around his poor, overstimmed dick has him scratching grooves into his work desk. his eyes haven't been anything but white for... how long, now? and he's drooling onto his already tear and sweat stained papers, but how can he focus on anything but the way you're draining his balls right now?

eventually, you've had to start holding him up yourself- his legs gave out a long while ago- but that's fine, at least now you can hold his spasming thighs apart while you fuck open both of his holes, and he's no longer trying to stop you! only now able to babble and sob incoherently, too shaky and ruined to do anything but take it. you do miss his desperate begging, sure, but he's pretty cute like this as well~!

you have to commend this man's stamina; even after being milked for hours, he's still providing you with plenty of that delicious cum you so crave- and he hasn't passed out yet! at least, you think- it's hard to tell at this point.

kaveh makes a noise that's between a groan and a scream; hoarse and low and so utterly guttural when you suck around his abused cockhead, and he might be having a seizure with the way his body thrashes from the feeling, the way his mouth opens in a silent scream, and the way that all that comes out is a choking, broken moan. you think he's orgasming again. but at this point, he's just been leaking cum for you like a faucet.

it feels like an eternity later when you release kaveh, letting his shaking body slide to the ground. his cum and your weird slime fluids mixing and dripping down his thighs, into your body, and onto the floor. just closing his legs feels like too much stimulation. as he struggles to recover, his fingers digging into the cum stained wood, and kaveh can't help but whimper and cry so pathetically, only barely comprehensible in his pitching little whines.

but you got him to finish his work, de-stress, and catch up on some much needed sleep! very proud of yourself, you clean your master (and the floor) up as best as you can at the moment, and drag his limp body into bed, where you can lick up his tears as he clings onto you.

hm... you think you'll do this again.

omg!!!!! this was so hot? op drop your url pls do you have some fics i can binge on...

and imagine! no way can whiny kaveh hide those pretty moans of his, and especially not from his roommate! alhaitham just listening into his senior's whines and your noisy slime noises as you slam your length into kaveh's prostate ◑﹏◐ he's palming himself through his leaking underwear, dick all hard and stiff. he doesn't know who he envies more— you or kaveh.

[dewvorce-flowers]

get to know me

Tagged by @mikathemad thank you! 💙

Do you make your bed?

I would have to leave it for that, no? (Actual answer being no, unless guests come to visit since my bedroom is also my living room)

Favourite number?

3 and 5 because three represents my siblings and me and five includes my parents too lol, but I'm also fond of 7

What's your job?

Studying to become a teacher, but while the job is something I already worked as and enjoyed the studying is hell. Also working as a "children gymnastics coach" aka parents drop their kids of in an elementary school and we play games for a couple of hours.

If you could go back to school, would you?

No, it wasn't necessarily bad but I much prefer my life now

Can you parallel park?

I could do it well the last time I drove a car but that's two years ago now(the day I got my license). Since my family doesn't own a car and none of my friends have one I just never got to drive again lol

Do you think aliens are real?

At all? Yes

On earth? Eh

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes, but see note in regards to the parking answer. (Actually only drove a automatic car once and that was to get it to a parking lot, where I could swith to manual lol)

Guilty pleasure?

Social media and fanfiction, I know I shouldn't feel guilty over it, but that's far easier said than done :(

Tattoos?

One day I will find the time to actually look at and consider design ideas. Till then the answer is no and I just have to admire them on other people.

Favourite colour?

Genuinely don't have one. Depends highly on the context.

Favourite type of music?

I like certain sounds, structures in songs but not in a way that applies to any type of music or I can describe with my non-existent knowledge. I just know I when I hear it.

I do listen to anything from opera, musicals, german 80s till 2010s, kurdish and turkish 70s to 00s, pop, rock, rap, folk etc

Do you like puzzles?

Yes!!

Any phobias?

Mild claustrophobia.

Favourite childhood sport?

Football(goalie) and swimming. Miss them both but might be able to start with swimming at least soon-ish.

Do you talk to yourself?

In my head. Outside only when I get so caught up I mumble silently/slightly move my lips.

Unless I am around people and we are organising stuff, then I count out my own To-Do list out loud and stuff like that.

Tea or coffee?

Cocoa. Had like two or three sips of coffee in my life lol

Tea can be nice when I have a cold or need something less sweat.

First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

Teacher and I had the dream of becoming a star goalie(knew that was never gonna happen even as a child)

What movies do you adore?

How to train your Dragon, Monty Python(both Holy Grail and Life of Brian), Rise of the Guardians and "Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel"(Czech/German Cinderella movie)

Of course there are many many more movie, but those are the ones, where I truly lost track of how often I watched them.

Thanks so much for tagging me! I'm gonna tag (if you want)

@maxkeplers @brocksfaber @tkaptains @dwisp @lovethegoalies @dream-leaf @jeynearrynofthevale

(and anyone else who sees this and wants to do this, please tag me in that case!!! Always love to get to know more people but am horrible at remembering urls)

[sunnywalnut]

I've got so many new followers....

Uh.... hi? Everyone?

Nice to meet y'all. ^^

As for intros..

My name is Sunny. Or Walnut. SW. Sun. Wal. Whatever you like, honestly. I'm not picky. And I do like nicknames so I'm vibing .

I am a man. So he/him for me, please. Though if you wanna use neos, I'm fine with that too. I find them interesting.

19 years of age. Yes I'm young. No I'm not a child.

I do the occasional motivational post, both for myself and everyone else, as well as long winded poetry about people I miss and love, and just random shitposts with a dash of Internet activism. Because I like it when the world is a better place and you should too.

DNI: homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, sexists, Zionists, antisemits, ableists, and all the other big bads. If you drop comments harassing people, I will delete and block you. That won't fly here. This is my space and you will respect it as such.

I have recently turned off anon asks because of this. You can, however, send me asks and request to be anonymous when I respond to them! I will simply just screenshot the ask, crop out your url/name, and reply to it in my own post.

And please, if you are under the age of 17/18, don't dm me. As cool as it is chatting to y'all in comments and reblogs, I just don't feel comfortable with the intimacy of dm with minors ^^ nothing personal. Just trying to keep everyone safe.

That all being said, if I actually DO post something that is harmful or doesn't sit right, please let me know in a respectful manner!

My intention is never to hurt people!! I know for a fact that I can get caught up in my own head and my words can get jumbled (as can anyone's) so I am more than willing to listen and learn, as well as explain my points of speaking.

Keep in mind. I am Autistic. Meaning I have a mental disability that sometimes makes it harder to make connections between words and emotion, reading tone, and also making sure that my words are clear and concise.

If you have a problem or disagreement with anything I have said, it would be very much appreciated if you would be kind, direct, and respectful when explaining it to me. I might not get it at first, so I will ask clarifying questions, but it's only ever to understand the situation thoroughly.

Thank you and have a good day!