Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
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Birthday Blues: Part II
Read part 1 here.
Steve still hates his birthday. He also realized it's possible to actually have good birthdays.
He still doesn't make a habit of informing people his birthday's coming up soon, or making a wishlist or plans to do anything. But his friends don't exactly make a habit of forgetting either.
With calendars marked and sticky notes written, with paperchains made and small, accessible gifts bought early and cards made in advance, and a few smacks and shoves to the arm from one kid to another for the monetary lapse in memory when the briefly bring up doing something else on Friday--they remember. Oh, and let's not forget the death glare Eddie would offer them when they get a little too overzealous and let their intentions almost slip.
Steve still has traumatic memories of his past and now he worries over his future, how his life is roughly 25% over. And that's just if he's lucky enough to make it that long in a town like Hawkins, in a country like America.
But each subsequent birthday of Steve's, Eddie does his very best to gently remind him of all the good things that have happened in the past year for him, of all the good things yet to come. To not dwell on his yearly quarter-life crisis.
The kids and Robin bring him their little offerings throughout the week so as not to overwhelm him on one day of hell. So it's not like actual presents. Just little random tokens of affection.
They also make a habit of asking Steve to go do things with them under the guise of needing a ride, but Steve knows damn well it's really all for him.
"Steve, we want ice cream." Or "Steve, we wanna go see this movie." And even "Steve, we want to go to this restaurant, want to join us? We'll pay."
This year he was talked into checking out this basketball game with Lucas, and then talked into playing their own little one-on-one amongst the two of them after. And then, hey, let's make it a not-party and have everyone join in. Just like a real game. Steve naturally annihilates them all but everyone has their own strengths.
After, they all order pizza and indulge until Steve's threatening them if they puke on his and Eddie's couch.
No one dares to utter those two words. But they all know what isn't being said. Actions speak louder than words, after all.
And at night, once everyone's gone and it's just Steve and Eddie in their modest home, they curl up together on the couch. Steve rests his head on Eddie's shoulder, Eddie holds him close.
"I had a really good time today. A good week."
"Yeah? I'm glad to hear that, baby." He presses a kiss into Steve's soft hair.
"Thank you for helping them to give me the best birthday ever."
"Anything for you, Stevie." He squeezes him twice.
Happy Birthday... I love you.
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