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#yknow. im not sure if im actully sad or if i just wanna be rn haha.
pizzapizzadickz
·
2 years
Text
.
#probably high rn
#diary
#high
#personal
#yknow. i like those little activity messages you can set on some things. like.
#i just love being a drama queen in them. but i hate when ppl actually question me about jt
#so ive been trying to hold back on it but by god do i wanna
#i just wanna say shjt like
#or like stupid depressing shit idk.
#yknow i think im at the point of high where i domt move much qnd probably basically black out in a bit
#haha. psych! thats what i wanted.
#...when i get this high i just stop existing. i think rn this is like the closest to death i can get
#suicidal ideation
#like. or just oblivion ig. idk. thats why ive been wanting to experiment lately. just. i want to fade into nothingness
#and really while weed is good i want it more. haha.
#yknow. im not sure if im actully sad or if i just wanna be rn haha.
#drugs tw
#i wish i could bother someone abd have them not care about me.
#i want them to listend to drug fueled suicidal ramblings of an idiot.
#but. alas. thats dumb and like not a good relationship to have with ppl.
#i jsut wanna trigger myelf over and over and over again.
#i dont really wanna exist lately. im so tired. i just dont even wanna try.
#haaah. i wish i could just die temporarily. like. i need a soft reset on my system lol.
#...ill be better at somepoint but rn i wanna self destruct.
#i think rly ill only get better when i decide to put in the effort. but its so little return for my hard work.
#and im not sure its worth it anymore. so im just sayinh oh well.
#argh. im gonna go read bc my thoughts make no sense to me either.
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