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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Light My Fire - CH03

Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.

Warnings: There’s sweet fluff in this.

WC: 2738

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3

SERIES MATSTERLIST

They enjoy their glass of wine in silence before her stomach starts to growl. It growls the loudest she’s ever heard. Maybe it’s because she hasn't had anything to eat since this morning, and her stomach rebels against the wine as it’s the only thing in there. She should have known better.

Dean must have heard it because he starts to chuckle, “What toppings do you like? I thought we could share one.”

“Sure, but don’t judge, please?” She says as she stands up, sees Dean’s eyes on her and feels the urge to cover up. He gets up from his chair and takes the towel she brought out with her, holds it up for her to cover herself.

When he looks at her again, he has one eyebrow cocked, “Why should I judge?”

“Uh, because I quite like pineapples on pizza,”

“I don’t judge,” Dean scoffs, and adds, “But I really think that should be illegal,” He laughs, but he doesn’t say anything more, and goes in to order their pizza.

Y/N slips in while he’s on the phone and goes straight to her room, and changes into something comfortable. Now that she’s seen that he wears sweats, she’s happy to match him. It’s actually pretty weird seeing Dean like this because the only clothes she ever saw him in are suits, it makes her think that he even sleeps in them. She wonders if he has other clothes at all.

When the pizza arrives, Dean moves the glasses and bottle into the living room and asks her what movie she wants to watch, but she really doesn’t mind so she lets him choose. Dean zaps through Netflix and settles on Bird Box.

While the movie starts, he hands her some napkins, and she’s wondering if that’s enough, because she’d hate to ruin the nice couch. He must have sensed her hesitation because he’s smirking, “It’s okay, you don’t wanna know what I managed to spill on this couch already,”

“Ewww,” She mocks, cringes her nose and he snorts out a laugh.

It’s easy, she thinks. It’s easy to let herself go. It’s easy to be here with him and just talk about anything outside of work. She comes to the conclusion that Dean’s not such an asshole after all. In fact, he’s a real gentleman. And that’s not really good, is it? It makes her feel things she shouldn’t feel.

She shakes the thought out of her head and takes a slice of pizza out of the box. It’s then that she realizes that the whole pizza is riddled with pineapples. She frowns, “I thought you didn’t like pineapples on pizza?”

“I don’t,” Dean shrugs, takes a bite and pretends to wrinkle his nose before he grins with his mouth full and continues to eat.

Y/N doesn’t think she makes it far into the movie because her eyelids are getting heavy halfway through. It’s the most illogical, most boring thing she’s ever seen, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings so she tries to watch it.

Last thing she remembers, though, is that she’s half leaning against Dean before she fell asleep.

***

Y/N wakes up in a bed. It’s clearly not hers. It took her an embarrassingly long time to realize that she’s in Dean’s apartment and that she’s in her bedroom.

Oh no, she remembers eating pizza with Dean, remembers falling asleep to the stupid movie. He must have carried her to her bed.

Her own fucking boss had to carry her to bed! If that’s not embarrassing she doesn’t know what is.

She scans the room and her eyes settle on the clock on her nightstand. It’s already past 8am. She slept like a baby through her alarm but in her defense, the bed is so fucking comfortable, more comfortable than her own, and it’s only a fucking guest room. She wonders how comfortable Dean’s bed must be. How he can even wake up and get out of it every morning astounds her.

And then, the thought of being late for work crosses her mind before she realizes that she doesn’t have to go in. Realizes that she didn’t sleep through her alarm because she didn’t set one in the first place.

Grabbing her phone, she sees that there’s a text from Ruby.

R: How was your first night? Did you consummate your fake marriage? *wink wink*

Then a text ten minutes later.

R: Oh my god, it should have been a joke but you did, didn’t you? He’s in a remarkably good mood. Didn’t bitch about the coffee I brought him at all!

Ah, Dean’s already at work then. He’s usually there before she turns up, and now she knows why. It’s only about a ten minutes walk from his apartment.

Y/N: Relax, nothing happened.

R: Ah, there she is.

Y/N: I slept in. The bed is so comfortable!

R: His bed I’d hope!

She snorts out a laugh.

Y/N: No, I have my own room that’s bigger than my apartment.

R: Ugh, maybe I can come see you? Wanna see how the most not eligible bachelor lives. Or send me pics! Oh shit, he called out for me. I need to go. But I swear, whatever you’ve done to him. Do it again! I like to work for him when he’s not constantly yelling at people.

She chuckles at that. She doesn’t answer Ruby though, instead she sends a text to Jack, telling him that she’s got another job that would secure him his degree and that everything’s okay.

Climbing out of bed, she decides to get coffee. It’s weird not having to go to work and she kind of misses it a little.

Y/N walks out into the kitchen where there’s still a faint smell of his cologne and coffee in the air. A deadly combination for her brain apparently, because it makes her insides tingle in all the right places. She looks around and immediately spots a yellow sticky note left on the machine.

It’s Dean’s handwriting. She knows it from all the scribblings he leaves on her desk when he already shut off his laptop and thinks about something that she must do for him the next day.

The machine is easy to handle. On, off. That’s it. I’m sorry I made you watch that movie. If you want to know, it didn’t get better after you fell asleep. Two hours of our lives, wasted. I’ll see you tonight, maybe we can watch something else — D

She’s smirking. He really took his time this morning to write her a fucking novel. It really baffles her that he goes out of his way for her and it really seems like he genuinely cares to make her stay with him as comfortable as he can. Well, it does benefit him too, come to think of it.

After another round on the massage comforter, she walks into her room to find a message from Jack.

J: I hope you don’t sell yourself for my benefit. But I trust you. Miss you x

She has to smirk and immediately types an answer back.

Y/N: Just stay in college and make me proud, alright?

Just when she’s about to put her phone away, it lights up with a call.

Dean.

“Hello?” She says, wondering if she should add sir to it at first but decides to drop it.

��Hey, you slept alright?”

She smiles, “Yeah, thanks. It’s the most comfortable bed.” She bites on her tongue so as to not ask him about him carrying her back to said bed.

There’s a light chuckle on the other end, “Good. Listen, I went over my schedule today because Ruby didn’t do it for me, and saw that I can’t have a movie night this evening like I wrote on the note,” He pauses to think, “You found the note, right?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“So, you maybe did know this because you arranged the invitation and you put it into my calendar, but I didn’t until about twenty minutes ago,”

She thinks hard about his schedule, remembers that there was something. An event. Some kind of gala.

“But instead of watching a movie, what would you say to me taking you out?” He says, “I called them and managed to do a last minute adjustment to my invitation.”

“Oh,” She huffs out, knowing where Dean wants to go with that.

“Thought it’d be a good opportunity to show them my wife. Are you in?”

He still asks, even if he actually doesn’t have to? Because yeah, she obviously can’t be a fake wife in private. The world needs to see it. Amara needs to see it.

“I guess,” She mutters. She is actually not really sure if she can pull that off. Her heart beats faster just thinking about walking on a red carpet.

“Y/N, you don’t have to, you know,” It’s as if he senses her dread, “I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, but we should at least try to look like a happily married couple and we can’t pretend if you don’t want to.”

“No— I mean, it’s okay, I’ll do it,” Her voice is more firm this time. She wants to. Wants to show him that she can do it.

It shouldn’t be hard, right? She’s been with a man before. She knows all that hand holding stuff. And Dean’s paying her double for god’s sake. What’s an evening of being flirty with him? It’s not like he is an old greasy man. Well, maybe that would be better? Maybe then she will not risk falling for him? Because that’s what is going to happen if she’s not careful, she just knows it. And then she’ll get her heart broken. Even though a broken heart is a little price to pay if it means that Jack can finally start his own future, come to think of it.

“Okay,” There’s a huff of breath, he’s smiling, she can hear it, “Good. I’ll get Gabe to drop off my card, you can go shopping for a dress. The card has no limit, just buy whatever you want, alright?”

She grins smugly, “I need shoes, too.”

“Buy all the things you want.”

“Alright, sir.”

“Y/N, stop calling me that. Unless,” He pauses and there’s a playfulness in his voice, “That’s what you like.”

She’s glad it’s not a video call, so he isn’t able to see that her face is burning up. She doesn’t say anything and Dean takes the hint.

“Right, I have another meeting, I’ll see you around 7pm. The gala starts at 8pm.”

“K, bye Dean.”

“Have fun.”

Y/N’s standing in her room as she waits for Dean to come back. He’ll probably need to shower and get dressed too.

Gabe came by to drop off Dean’s Centurion card and he walked straight into Dean’s bedroom to drop off Dean’s tux onto his bed. She never had such a card in her hands, it feels heavy, made of platinum, not like her cheap plastic one that she only uses once in a blue moon.

At first she didn’t know where to go because she hadn't been dress shopping for a gala before. She wondered if H&M would be a good choice but then thinks that it probably wouldn’t. While she was out shopping she looked into shop windows and came across a beautiful long sleeved sequin pattern dress in gold.

She never knew gold would look good on her but the shop assistant was so nice, even though she knows it’s that woman’s job, she felt really good in the dress and it wasn’t over the top with the price so Dean should be okay with it. She couldn’t resist buying matching shoes, too.

Later, she splashed out some money for lingerie that she could wear under it and hoped that Dean wouldn’t mind. He told her to buy whatever she likes, so.

And now, she’s nervously pacing around her room. Her pacing only stops when she hears footsteps approaching.

There’s a knock at her door, “Y/N, you okay?”

“Yeah,” She manages to say.

“Good, sorry I’m a little late, had to pick up something on the way. I’ll shower and get dressed. Meet you in the living room in thirty minutes?”

“Sure,”

She hears him opening the door to his room.

Thirty minutes. Ugh. She hasn’t even applied makeup yet. She’s so nervous.

After a last check in the mirror, she walks out into the living area, her heels clicking on the marble flooring. She’s not used to wearing such high heels, and prays that she won’t stumble and fall flat on her face.

As she rounds the corner into the living area, she sees Dean already waiting for her, dressed in a fitting tux and smelling so fucking delicious. He looks like he’s just stepped out of a glossy magazine spread and that’s not fair. She can already see the press giving them a caption for their picture together. It reads, DEAN WINCHESTER COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER.

Y/N can feel Dean’s eyes on her. They’re wide and his lips part slightly before they curve up into a smile. It’s bright and white. She’s smiling too, can’t not smile when he’s looking at her like that. Looking at her like she’s the only one that matters. She’s not used to it at all.

“Wow,” Dean breathes out, “You look beautiful.”

She was already blushing before but now her cheeks heat up a little more, “Thank you. You’re not bad yourself.”

Dean has to chuckle and then all of a sudden, he runs back to his room, “I’ll be right back,”

After about a minute Dean reappears clutching things in his hand. One of them is a pocket square. He went in and picked out a color that matches her dress. She has to grin at that.

He places it inside his jacket but he seems to struggle, “Can you help me, I—”

“Of course,” She grins, and steps closer to him, arranging the pocket square so that I’d look nice. Patting his pocket, she leaves her hand on his chest when she’s done, feels his heartbeat underneath her palm. She can swear it beats a little faster than usual, not that she knows his resting heart rate. “All set.” She says and Dean grins at her.

“Okay, now my turn,” Dean licks his lips and clears his throat, and she can’t help but wonder what he means by his turn.

She doesn’t have to wait long, because Dean opens up the little box he was still clutching and she can see the princess cut diamond engagement ring with a matching wedding band.

“Dean, no.”

“Why, Dean, yes.” He chuckles, takes them out, and takes her left hand in his. “Y/N, will you give me the honor of being my fake wife for real now?”

Y/N has to giggle at that, “Yeah, of course,”

He smiles, slips the ring onto her ring finger and to her surprise, they fit perfectly. She looks at Dean, raises her eyebrow, “Let me guess, Ruby?”

“Yeah,” Dean smirks, and then he shows her his left hand, “I have one, too. So, you ready?”

“Not really?”

“That’s the spirit,” Dean places his hand around her waist, pulls her close and kisses her cheek softly.

It does nothing to calm her down because she’s even more nervous now.

“You gotta try to keep me from falling, okay?,” She says as he moves his hand to the small of her back, and guides her to the door.

“I would never let you fall,” Dean shows her a small smile and they step into the elevator.

In there, she eyes him up again, can’t quite take her eyes off him. He looks so good with the slight scruff and the freckles, the crinkles around his eyes deepen the longer she stares at him.

“What?” He asks her, raises an eyebrow.

“You look good, Mr. Winchester,” She says with a smile.

“You too, Mrs. Winchester. Most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And I’m not lying.” He leans in, places another kiss on her heated cheeks before the elevator comes to a halt.

He helps her get out and Gabriel’s already waiting, holding the limousine door open for them.

CH04

#light my fire #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #ceo!dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

316 notes · View notes

rpbetter · 3 years

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what's the nicest possible way to tell a close friend their roleplay blogs suck and if they want followers and interaction like they keep complaining about they have to actually put effort into it instead of just making blog after blog and slapping a character on it like that's they need to do. I've tried to suggest this to her before by comparing other blogs that play her muse but she just feels inadequate instead of inspired to emulate them which I understand but it's very frustrating when I suggest a million ways to make her blog better and she brushes them all off for one reason or another and I don't want to say anything because she's like a sister to me. sigh.

Unfortunately, the short answer to this is that there really isn't any way you can make her see this unless she's ready to see it.

But, I don't like giving those sorts of answers, they feel hopeless and shitty, so, let's try this...

Understanding what the problem with your friend and her connecting with this information is, is important. It might help in talking to her about the issue.

What I find in these instances, and a lot of similar ones, is that the mun is unhappy about the results but quite happy with the process. She's enjoying some part of this, it's just not the lack of interaction, obviously. It's the very things she's doing to turn people off of her muses.

I think a lot of people get kind of addicted to new muses. I mean, the entire process of having a new muse:

interest to outright fixation, no matter how short-lived, in a new, inspiring muse

who is almost certainly in a new fandom, and probably, one that is very busy and popular at the moment

"someone stop me" phase, even though they've already decided

picking the perfect URL, creating the new blog, making the graphics and batches of icons

reblogging All The Content about the new muse, at least, the visual content and maybe, a couple of "oof, right in the feels" style short meta posts

plugging the new muse on the old blogs, through friends, etc.

mass follows

new mutuals! Shiny new meme asks in the inbox! New threads!

It's about the newness, the excitement, and the irrationally promising feeling that damn it, this time, the blog and muse is going to be successful, popular even, beloved, the actual favorite iteration of the character in the RPC. Like anything exciting, it's addicting for people. And like anything addicting, it can take hitting rock bottom and going several more feet down, a few times, before they're over it and want to change.

Which is, of course, where you come in with your as-yet failed RP interventions.

What makes what you're trying to do here very difficult is that there isn't a total bottoming out she's going to reach. There will always be something new and exciting coming out with a new and exciting muse that'll fix the problem, in her mind. There will always be the option and availability to create another blog, slap another muse on it, rinse and repeat. With shampoo and conditioner that never runs out.

You definitely had the right idea by trying to get her to contrast between why what she is doing isn't working the way she wants and why what someone else is doing is working out that way. It's just, as you found out, often not the best idea, no matter how well-intentioned it is. With her blogs constantly failing for reasons she refuses to believe, it's incredibly likely she's already done some comparison in all the wrong ways, ultimately going back and forth between blaming the other iterations, finding nothing but errors in the way they write the character and set up their blogs, and feeling depressed that she's not good enough, but they are.

So, you might have unintentionally inflamed all of this! She could be in a place where she's even more likely to believe that what she's doing is great as a defense mechanism for being hard on herself.

I'd also like to say that I'm aware the "right" advice here is, "there's nothing you can do, you'll just make her feel bad, people have a right to RP however they want." But, you're also her friend, and you have to be around the complaining and upset when this just keeps happening.

Furthermore, when we have very close friends like this, we automatically keep trying to fill in the gaps for them at cost to ourselves - every time they make another blog/muse, we get roped into writing things we know are just going to be dropped, making them things we know are going to left on a deserted blog, and so on. Eventually, it makes you feel bad about yourself because your efforts aren't good enough, either. It can really ruin the hobby for you, sucking away enjoyment and creativity you could be spending elsewhere.

I don't think you're wrong in trying to help both her and yourself.

Keep being honest with her. When she complains, be honest about why this is happening. And you can, indeed, be kind and honest!

Let's say that she says something about how she wrote all these opens and no one is going for them.

You could say something like, "that sucks. I liked this one, it's the one that feels and sounds like the character to me. What were you doing when you wrote that? You should rewrite the others to be a little more like that, I think people are looking for more of the character like we saw them in the series."

You're acknowledging that she's right, it does suck, it's a shitty feeling no matter how at fault for it she is. While pointing out something she did good (and, okay, maybe she didn't, maybe they all categorically sucked lol but find one that was even a tiny bit better/that has elements you can use to both boost her confidence and show her what is right, not just wrong). Then, giving her an idea - whatever she was thinking, watching, listening to at that time, she tapped into something more like the actual character, and she could do it again. And telling her what the problem is, at least with this, that people don't want a cardboard cutout muse, they want the one they like from the fandom book/show/movie.

No need to actually compare with another active mun and muse, or tell her that it's because what she's doing is terribly and driving you nuts. Even if both are true.

If she's the one that compares herself to another blog this time, seize the opportunity!

"Well, people like that the muse is developed and like the character they know. When you interact with another canon, don't you want them to be like the character you liked? You liked -current muse- for a reason. When I've felt like that, I reminded myself of why I was drawn to the character and worked harder on writing them accurately and getting their voice down. I think this other blog has done that and you haven't yet."

It's a little harsher, but she may very well only be looking for validation from you that this other blog actually sucks and she's doing great. A lot of complaints on tumblr are that - seeking validation, not help. The entire culture of that shit is not at all helpful. You don't want to try to sort of shock her out of it by being too harsh, but you do want to make it clear that you're not going to just give ass pats and tell her what she wants to hear.

You're telling her why this other blog is more successful, that the muse comes off as the character and is enjoyable to write with. Because the mun put in the effort to make them both accurate to the character and a muse that's fun/interesting/engaging to write with in RP.*

*Not all characters transfer over well to RP, either, and this might also be some of her problem. For whatever reason, some people are deeply drawn to the worst possible choices for them. They will find the least applicable character in a whole series, one with a billion characters that spans decades of material, plenty of viable options all around, but no, it's got to be this one. The one that's impossible for them to pull off, boring or disliked by the fandom, is incredibly difficult to interact with (think manic pixie bullshit, villains that are extreme loners, incredibly quiet and reserved characters, or those who are only ever seen in their canon to be bantering with friends and enemies - people they have established relationships with, unlike someone else's muse, even if that muse is a canonical friend or enemy), or is an active turn off in RP, like an outrageously overpowered character whose entire existence is based on being OP as fuck. That's going to be what they go for. Every. Damn. Time.

If you notice she's doing this, she could be compensating without even realizing it by turning the string of muses into identical and empty clichés she thinks people want to interact with, but that she can still handle writing. And unfortunately, your job is even harder, OP, because everyone has a character type...and your bestie's is Fucking Impossible to RP for 90% of the RPC Population Type lmao I'm...I'm so sorry.

Maybe if this is the case, you can get her to try out a different character that has some of the traits you've noticed she seems to always be drawn to, but without the complications. Work smarter, not harder, though! Propose this as you desperately wanting your muse to interact with x. Some people react very badly to being told "you'd write a great -muse name," others are flattered by it. If you don't know for certain that she'd be flattered, or at least not offended, that she doesn't hate this character or anything, do not say this. Just tell her that you love this character, you think she could handle them as a NPC in a thread, could she please try?

And make that the single most interesting thread in the history of threads. Specifically, for her. Give her tons of engagement with this NPC of the sort she tends to want the most. It might stick and reset some of her perspective on the types of characters she keeps choosing.

You're reminding her that she's a RPer, too, which sounds like a crazy thing to have to remind a RPer, but we do weirdly lose track of this. We get very invested in what we're putting out more than what we've successfully been given, especially when we're not being given much of what we want. So, you're prodding her to recall that there are two parts of this equation, she's been on the side of it - she's wanted to interact specifically with a canon muse because she loved the character/ship with hers/whatever, and has, as we all have, experienced both the disappointment of running through a ton of them who just are not that character and also finding the version that very much is.

This helps to put other people back into perspective in a way that isn't just "interactions." (Read as "desired attention." Which isn't a slam, it's true. It's also not a problem, we all are here to interact, we all enjoy having devoted mutuals and such. It's only a problem when we stop seeing them as anything other than a means to an end for ourselves.) She might be able to relate to them, thus, why they don't like her muses, if she can put herself back into their shoes.

You stick with that and transition it into why she picked the current muse. It's the same deal, there was something about the muse that sparked interest, creativity, etc. What was it? Something that isn't there, or there enough, in her writing. In all the excitement of muse-creation, she's probably let whatever it was slide right out the door. If you can get her to recall that feeling of interest and identify for herself what all triggered it, she might be able to stick with it.

And you've encouraged her again to give people what they want if she wants interactions by developing her muses. You've also done so, if it all applicable and true, by using yourself here, making it feel like not just a common problem, but one experienced and overcome by someone she cares about and trusts.

She might have an issue with needing a lot of high-interest, high-reward scenarios, too.

This is a high-effort, minimum reward situation for her. A lot of us in the RPC have shit like ADHD that can really make this difficult once we're experiencing it in this way, but even those who don't absolutely fall into it as well. So, you'll need ways to make it fun, but...I think if you can sort of kindly trick her into experiencing the effort as its own reward, it'd go a long, long way.

I can't really say what I do, having this problem with high-effort, minimal reward because I don't tend to experience that in RP. The writing is the reward for me, as much as I lose it utterly with happiness every time a writing partner is loving what I've given them. My reward system is set up around the writing and exploring characters. Hers seems to be set up around the reaction to it and amount of engagement with it. You need to try to use the latter to give her some of the former.

If she likes Halloween or Christmas, Fall or Winter, this could be your way into doing it!

Get her hyped about a seasonal prompt list you're doing. This does, yeah, mean you will have to do it, too lol but in the end, any time you aren't able to produce something daily like these lists usually are set up for, you're showing her that it isn't a job she's got to fulfill - the rules are only as strict as she wants to make them for herself. And if you keep yours short and fun, she'll feel like it's perfectly fine and good to do it this way as well. That it doesn't need to be a damn masterpiece or anything, just fun, something different to show off her muse.

While what she's actually doing, in addition to that, is getting in touch with and developing her muse. Importantly, when we write in a way that is just for ourselves like this, we tend to kind of...bond, for lack of a less weird sounding way of putting it, with a muse. It makes them stick with us longer, raising their importance and easier availability to us.

Let her know you're doing this, pick one out you genuinely like, and don't expect her to be down with it immediately. It's work with no foreseeable reward. Except, it's very hard to listen to our friends be excited, proud of themselves, enjoying themselves without wanting to join in. It'll be especially helpful, though, if you think people you interact with will like the posts and comment on them, or even try to turn them into threads if you include their muses (with their consent, of course, and no pressure). If she sees that, it might make it even more interesting to her. You might also have to pose this as her helping you out, that you don't think you'll get more than two done if she isn't doing it as well, as a sort of a challenge she can hold you to.

Whatever you think might work best for engaging her, you know her well, you can do it!

Be there to help her out with ideas if she goes for it. Throw out some easy, fun suggestions you think she might like, that even give her some opportunity to write something with her muse that she doesn't get a chance to. Pull from the muse's canon, is there something in their canon that goes with the prompt word "snow," for instance? Is it something she enjoyed about the canon story? Suggest it. Thinking about both the muse and your friend, is there something else that came to mind about that prompt you could suggest? Do it!

Again, whatever she's most into, it's an angle. Humor? Her serious muse is forced into a ridiculous, funny situation that involves the snow. Angst? A sad memory associated with the snow. Shipping? A romantic, fluffy scene (or steamy one). And so on.

Be there to express interest and encouragement while she's doing it. Don't do things that are going to come off as pressuring or helicopter moming her, of course! Like, asking how much she's gotten done, did she start working on it yet? That's a bad idea, unless she enjoys that sort of thing. Instead, tell her how much you can't wait to see this, ask about how it's going, tell her about yours to encourage her to talk about it.

And be there to be her audience when she posts it. This really seems to be her highest reward, so give it to her. Like the post, comment on the post, tell her in messages. Not individually, all of those things. If you can find a way to that doesn't mess up what you've got going on with your blog, mutuals, other friends, etc., mention it on your blog.

At this point, people might be both aware of her RP habits and wary of engaging with her, but someone might bite if you're enthused and go like the post. If it's applicable, make some jokes about it on the dash, turn it into a moment of inside joke-like crack for people to see. Mention that she wrote this and you loved it, link it or outright reblog her post. Hell, mention that you and her are doing such and such prompts for whatever holiday or season before the fact, that way, it doesn't come out of nowhere to your mutuals, either. Again, if applicable, you can ask to turn it into a thread.

The point, at this juncture, isn't to attract people to her blog and posts, it's to demonstrate to her that this is fun and rewarding. If you can get people to go like the posts, great, but you can only count on yourself to do it at first.

Most people enjoy those sorts of prompts on their dash from mutuals, though. You're always going to have some who feel like it's annoying because it wasn't strictly a RP reply, but whatever, they're not the majority in most fandoms anymore, thankfully. Point is, it's literally showing her mutuals that she's capable of thinking as her muse and working on her muse. It's showing off good things and making her muse more interesting and uniquely hers in a good way. And it's totally possible that she's going to organically generate likes, people wanting to use this as a plot with her for RP, and mutuals who are increasingly following along with every post made.

The hope is that she experiences the beginnings of more interest in the muse than she does making muses, gain some confidence in doing this with the enjoyment of it, and stick with a muse longer than five seconds so that she can actually end up with the interactions she wants.

There are definitely other ways of doing this, the prompt thing just came to mind because it's major prompt season. You've got a prompt list floating around for literally every popular point of interest right now, from whump to extreme fluff to horror to humor. And it's going to keep going until January. It's also something that can be as short as a paragraph or as long as several thousand words, and that a hell of a lot of people don't do all of. So, it's easy, so long as she's got a reason to find it interesting and stay on course with it even a little bit.

You could also try getting her into doing something like moodboards for her muse but with little additions of writing that go along with them. Nothing major, just things like a quote from her muse or a sentence from a starter, thread, whatever.

So long as you can get her to start refocusing on RP being enjoyable from the inside and not just the outside, it's valid as hell to try it! She seems to be experiencing RP as instant gratification and basing that gratification on things she can't control, like popularity.

Right now, even giving her the sober truth that one can write the best version of a canon muse there is to be found, be someone enjoyable and interesting in OOC interactions, and be an amazing writer without that being enough to garner popularity, or even the plots that are wanted. That being a very popular RPer and having more interactions than you know what to do with (honestly sucks ass) isn't a set of absolute values, but rather, variables that are always in flux and often, totally mysterious. It's usually a mixture of total luck, visual appeal, and both mun being on point with what people want to see right this second and muse being the mixture of fanon that is desirable, also, right at this exact second. It is seriously not within anyone's control, no matter how much effort, quality, or even outright bullshit they have to put out there.

If she's ever going to stick to a muse and not find herself envious, upset, and bored it's absolutely got to come from herself. She's got to be popular with herself, enjoying herself regardless of what others are seemingly achieving or want to give her. It's not going to be recognized no matter how harsh or sweet you are about the problem, unless she's capable of really looking at those problems as problems, and I don't think she's going to get to that point through negatively bottoming out. She might get there through the opposite, though!

It's...just going to take a lot of effort and patience from you, with no expectation of reward yourself.

Because it's still likely as hell it's just not going to happen. And while it seems like you are the kind of friend who would find the effort worth it because you care and are invested in her, please know that there's no shame in merely contemplating this and noping right out.

You've got a life and are trying to enjoy the hobby as well! And if it seems like something that could sour your friendship? It's not worth it. You're better off just accepting that she'll inevitably tire of doing this and move on to another hobby, maybe decide to do fandom blogs or something instead that you can support her in.

It's definitely an unenviable and frustrating position you're in. All you can really do is try not to let this negatively impact the friendship, to keep refraining from just outright telling her things she'd find hurtful, and try your best to show her that it's rewarding to develop the muse and stick with it, not a task. That there are improvements she can make to her blog, and that it isn't a negative reflection on her that they can be made. You can try all the compassionate trickery in the world to lead her there, but it's ultimately up to her whether she brushes this off as well, don't let it hurt your feelings or exasperate you too much!

Also, it's totally possible that even if you met through RP and/or it has been a big part of the friendship, you might have grown in different directions in the hobby.

Growing within the hobby is inherent to any hobby you stick to for long enough, especially if you started out in it young. Some people seamlessly just keep growing to things that make them happy, others experience a lot of growing pains along the way as they're maybe ready for change, but only in select areas they have to discover for themselves. Still others grow in a way that doesn't make them very happy, but they're both not ready (or willing) to approach why and what they can do, and also still too attached to the good times they had to reassess whether it's still something they want to do, or if it's something better moved away from into something else.

That's always very difficult as a friend. Difficult in watching your friends not go the same directions as you anymore, even in something as comparatively silly as a hobby, in seeing them not enjoying themselves, and in the possibility that it could signal the end of enjoying the hobby with them. It's sad and frustrating, and can feel lonely, but if you're close enough friends, you've got so many other things to still be good friends over, so keep that in mind!

She might need to keep doing this with her blog and muse situation until she comes not to the realization that she needs to change how she's RPing to get what she wants, but rather, that she wants to stop RPing. That could be the burnout that happens here eventually, but again, not only can you still be great friends, if it makes her happier, it's good.

#answered #anonymous #rp problems #rp advice

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luffles424 · 4 years

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Lucidity (4)

☼ Pairing: BTS x reader (this chapter is Jimin x reader)

☼ Genre: vampire!BTS, succubus!reader, smut, little bit of fluff, angst (a little bit here, but uhh, it’s coming and I’m sorry)

☼ Count: 5.3K

☼ Warnings: praise kink, oral (f receiving), fingering, tiny bit of body worship, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, creampie, minorish blood play (it’s a vampire fic so like, there’s some feeding), teasing, soft sex (honestly, after Joon’s chapter this is super sweet)

☼ Summary: You’ve spent years jumping from country to country, starting countless new lives. Crafting new lives is as easy as breathing for you, lies flowing easily and people are charmed with a simple bat of your eyes. When you meet a witch who offers the idea of opening a supernatural club, using your powers combined with hers to ensure safety to those who enter, you decide to join her in an adventure that is entirely new to you. But your new life in Seoul is drastically changed when you’re forced to face something you’ve spent centuries hiding from. But just because you might be running for your life again doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun along the way, right?

☼ a/n: I’m SO SO SO sorry this took so long to come out! I’m going to try my best to get the next chapter out soon! That one is going to be a little more plot heavy cause we bout to get really into it. As always, let me know what you think! My ask box is always open ~ 💙💙💙💙

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Previous

You roll your shoulders, staring at the kettle of boiling water in front of you tiredly. While you’d never openly admit it, your encounter with Namjoon a few weeks ago still has you slightly rattled. You know just how long Namjoon has had to let this hatred fester and that that night was a culmination of repressed feelings finally getting an outlet and your sudden proximity to him after all this time. And you’re a little nervous of what another private encounter with him may bring. You’re honestly not sure which way it would go next time.

You’ve been battling with yourself whether it’s still worth meeting up with Jin and Jungkook. They’re getting incredibly close and comfortable with you and that level of familiarity after all this time alone has you wanting to pack your bags and move away. It’s been so long and they so easily accepted you, without any regard for your past when they have all the reason to believe you to be the worst. Ari is the closest person to you, she’s the closest you’ve let anyone get to you in a long while and yet you still keep her at arms length. She never asks or pries about your past, but you know she’s curious.

You’re glad that the boys have been so busy that they haven’t had as much time to come over because you’re certain if they had the time that they’d be over constantly. You shake that line of thought off, this is meant to be your night to relax, and grab the kettle when it’s ready, pouring it into your waiting mug, then lean back against the counter while you wait for your tea to steep. You wonder what the boys are up to, you haven’t heard from them in a couple days aside from one of them dropping by the club when you weren’t there. Ari told you the next day that someone had stopped by looking for you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by someone pounding on your door and you have to bite back the laughter of you apparently summoning them by thought when you hear Jungkook’s voice calling for you to open the door. Speak of the devil indeed.

You chew your lip, debating if you want to even answer the door or if you’re just going to pretend you’re not home, tonight was supposed to be about you after all. However, before you can come to any sort of decision, you hear a beep and then your door is being flung open.

“Noona, you really can’t pretend you’re not home when we can literally hear your heartbeat.” Jungkook laughs as he rounds the corner into the kitchen, wide grin stretching his lips.

You huff and roll your eyes, turning to your tea and irritatedly stirring the tea bag around. “How did you even get in?”

Jin rounds the corner next, looking smug and holds a finger up. “I programmed my fingerprint last time I was here.”

You give him a flat look, you should’ve known he didn’t drop something at the door. “That sounds like a massive invasion of privacy.”

He shrugs, pulling you in for a hug and kissing your head and you struggle to keep the smile off your face. You refuse to acknowledge the fondness you feel at the gesture. “Yeah, well. It was so I could surprise you sometime, but it was more important to use it now. Besides, like Kook said, I can hear your heartbeat and that’s just as much an invasion of privacy to know when you’re home.”

You snort and shove him away with a laugh. You’re about to respond when movement in the doorway catches your attention and you lean around Jin to see someone else standing there, fidgeting nervously. Jungkook moves beside the other man, holding his hands up in an attempt to keep you calm as he sees the panic in your eyes.

“It’s okay, noona! Jiminie came with us. He knows, it’s cool.” He bats his eyes at you, trying to look innocent and you’re more angry that it works than the fact that they brought a stranger to your home.

Jimin gulps, but gives a small, tentative wave. “I’ve um… been friends with incubus for a while. Namjoon-hyung I don’t think knows about it. They don’t have much opportunity to interact often and when they do, it’s in places with so many people that there’s really no way to pick up what someone else may be unless you’re looking for it. So I knew that there were other reasons for what he said. And Jungkook hasn’t been drinking as much from bags so I knew something was up and asked him about it.” He pauses and bites his lip. “Uh, if my being here makes you uncomfortable, I can leave. Jungkook said it was fine if I came with to watch movies.”

Jungkook smiles sheepishly at you after the blame is put on him. He turns to Jimin, shooing him towards the living room and ushering Jin with him. “Why don’t you both go find a movie to watch while I talk to noona.” The two leave and Jungkook waits until you hear their soft voices coming from the living room before stepping closer and lowering his voice so the others can’t overhear. “Okay, please don’t be mad. But Jiminie has been really stressed and stuck in his head lately and I was hoping you could work some of your magic to relax him.” He gives you a hopeful, if sheepish, smile, like he already can hear the reprimand from you.

You raise an eyebrow, giving him the most unimpressed look you can. You decide to humor him for a moment. “And what, exactly, do you think this so called “magic” is that I can do to make him relax?”

Jungkook’s cheeks turn pink and he glances away under your scrutiny. Oh if they others weren’t in the other room right now, you’d ruin that shy face. “Uh, well I mean, he really likes cuddling. So you could just do that. But I’m sure he could use some extra fun and praise.”

You smirk, stepping closer and letting your hand run lightly up his arm, you just can’t resist teasing him when he’s being so shy around you like this. “Oh? Extra fun? Did you have something in mind for some fun for me and Jimin to have, baby?”

Jungkook flushes darker, shifting slightly as his bottom lip juts out in a pout. “Noona… stop.” He whines. “Tonight is meant to be for Jiminie.”

You hum thoughtfully, running your fingers through his hair with affection before you boop his nose, turning from him. “I suppose we’ll see then.” You say over your shoulder as you grab your tea and leave the room.

You enter your living room to see Jin sprawled across your love seat already, taking up the space so that you’ll be forced to sit closer to Jimin. You realize the two fuckers planned this together. He’s idly scrolling through movie choices on the screen, the perfect picture of relaxation and comfort with his surroundings. Jimin in contrast sits stiffly on the couch, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. You feel a little bad, sure that his discomfort is in part your fault and your less than warm welcome to him.

You still feel a little iffy on Jungkook’s plan and if Jin had his hands in on it too, then you’re inclined to be even more leery of it, but you’re willing to at least get to know Jimin more and see where the evening goes. It’s not like you can do much else with them here now. The thought to just kick them out never even crosses your mind.

You sit yourself down next to him, setting your mug on the coffee table and noting the way he tries to subtly shift further away from you, though he’s blocked by the arm of the couch from moving too far. You notice Jin’s smug smile as he continues to look for a movie and you take the opportunity to throw one of the pillows behind you at him. He flails as it hits him, nearly sliding off his seat in his attempt to get the pillow off his face. He glares at you and you beam back.

“There’s too many pillows over here. You’ve got plenty of room over there.” You say matter-of-factly, like you were just being logical about the seating and space.

“You’re taking too long to pick a movie. Just put something on already.” Jungkook adds as he finally takes his place on your other side.

He gets himself comfortable before he’s manhandling you around so you’re resting back against his chest, effectively forcing you to face Jimin on the other end of the couch. You want to tease Jungkook about the manhandling, but his hum of content and movement from Jimin stops you. Jimin seems to curl into himself under your gaze, pulling his legs up onto the couch and wrapping his arms around them, making himself as small and out of the way as possible.

Jin finally selects a movie, one that Jungkook loudly protests watching and the two bicker in low voices as the opening credits start. You choose not to intervene, it’s what they deserve for stealing away your peaceful evening and with Jimin here, the boundaries are new and unclear and so you have no other way to interrupt the two. Even if you did, which you probably do, you’re feeling a little petty. Jimin watches the screen quietly, adding nothing to the fight, but you see the small, fond smile that tugs at his lips as they continue to argue.

As the movie progresses, Jimin begins to relax more and by the time the credits begin, he’s slumped back against the couch, hands folded loosely in his lap. Jin starts to look for another movie for you all to watch. While Jungkook starts to argue that it’s his turn to pick, you realize this is the best time to check how Jimin’s doing and if he’s growing comfortable enough and open to more. You stretch a leg out to gently nudge Jimin’s thigh with your foot. He glances at it before turning his attention back to the screen where Jin is cycling quickly through options and laughing as Jungkook whines about not being able to read the options because Jin is scrolling too quickly.

You huff, of course he would be stubborn, he’s friends with the two arguing idiots in the room. You really shouldn’t be surprised. You reach out to nudge him again and he finally turns his attention to you, plush lips pulled down in a frown. He tilts his head questioningly and you shift slightly, holding your arm out in invitation for him to join you and Jungkook. His brows crease in confusion as his eyes trace along your open arms before coming back to rest on your face. You can see the longing in his eyes and so you wiggle your fingers enticingly, did he not realize that you were trying to keep from drawing the others attention? He glances at the other two men who are still busy arguing about what to watch next and are paying the two of you no mind.

Finally he shifts, slowly squirming his way between you and the back of the couch until he can rest his head on your chest. You feel his small exhale of content and you hide your smile as you let your arms drape around him, letting your fingers thread through his hair. You idly scratch at his scalp and Jimin practically melts against you.

You beltatedly realize how quiet the room’s gotten and you look up to be met with Jin’s smug but pleased grin and you’re sure if you looked behind you that Jungkook has a similar expression. You choose to ignore them, not wanting to disturb Jimin who seems to finally be relaxing and instead turn your focus to the screen where the next movie has started.

You get 10 minutes into the movie before Jimin distracts you. His arm wraps around your middle and a pleased hum rumbles in his chest where it’s pressed against your side. Jungkook wasn’t kidding about him liking cuddles apparently. You have to admit, he’s a pretty great cuddle partner too. You continue to run your fingers through his hair and he shifts to bury his face in your chest. You wonder how much of the movie he’s even been paying attention to. You were fairly certain that he had fallen asleep, but a few minutes later, you catch a whine bubble out of him as he suddenly shifts his hips away from your thigh.

“Hey, Kook. I’m hungry. Let’s go pick up some food for everyone.” Jin says suddenly, startling both you and Jimin, who lifts his head to blink at the elder like he just remembered that there are other people in the room.

Jungkook nods enthusiastically, jostling you slightly as he slips out from behind you. “Yeah, let’s go. We’ll bring stuff back for you guys!” He calls out quickly as they both leave.

The slam of the door plunges your apartment into a charged silence, broken only by the steady noise coming from the movie on the TV. When the elevator takes Jin and Jungkook too far down for you to hear their conversation anymore, you turn your focus back to Jimin who has tensed back up. You give him a moment to see if he’ll relax again now that the others are gone but when his shoulders remain stiff, you decide to do something to help.

Focusing a little, you push out a small wave of calmness. It’s been a while since you used this specific emotion on someone. The room feels warmer, the atmosphere growing cozy as your power diffuses into the air. Jimin melts against you once again, shoulders quickly losing their tension.

“I know what you’re doing. Taemin does the same thing when I’m stressed.” He murmurs, lifting his head to glare at you. His lips push out in a pout, fully ruining his attempt to look any sort of disgruntled and you have to fight the urge to pinch his cheek and call him cute.

You bat your eyes at him sweetly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grin, scratching at his scalp.

His eyes flutter and he hums in delight, head dropping back to lay on your chest. “It’s not nice to lie, you know.”

You give his hair a playful tug, surprisingly earning you an airy gasp. Jimin stills and before he can tense back up, you let your hand slid down to the back of his neck, giving him a comforting squeeze.

“You seem tense, Jiminie. Why don’t you let me give you a massage.” You coo, fingers already moving to dig into the muscle of his shoulders.

He shakes his head. “N-no. I’m okay. You don’t have to.”

“It’s not nice to lie, you know.” You mimic with a smirk. “I don’t mind sweetheart. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.”

He lifts his head again to squint at you, eyes alight with suspicion. “Why would you want to?”

You raise an eyebrow, letting your hand drift down so you can squeeze at his bicep. “Are you kidding me? Do you think I’d really miss the chance to get my hands all over this?”

He flushes, gaze immediately darting away. “I… Uh, I mean… I guess if you want? I’m used to this around concerts from the members…”

“Then it sounds like you really deserve a treat from all those men doing it.”

Jimin flushes further, jerking to sit up so he can shake his hands in the negative. “No! No no, that’s not what I meant!” He runs his hand through his hair, sitting back on his heels. He looks completely flustered. He stutters a few times trying to come up with something before he trails off, at a loss for words.

You sit up with him, sliding around so you sit behind him. “You deserve to relax Jiminie. You work so hard.” You let a little more calm out, gently tugging Jimin’s shirt up and off, letting it drop to the floor. You nudge him a little, encouraging him to lay down on his stomach. He goes fairly willingly, but you can see the resistance still sitting in the set of his shoulders. You trail your hands lightly up his back as you settle yourself on his thighs. “You deserve to be taken care of too sweetheart.” You coo in a low voice.

Jimin seems to cede to your wishes, making no further protests to the turn of events. You work methodically through the knots in his back, listening to his little sighs and groans and adjusting your pressure to the nonverbal cues you gather from him. You work slowly, reveling in the way he turns to absolute putty under your hands. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s really given himself the chance to fully relax, especially at the hands of someone else.

You get to his lower back, thumbs firm on either side of his spine when you notice it. The way his hips have begun to shift against the couch, the subtle change in the pitch of his sighs, the way his thighs squirm beneath you. The cloying feeling of arousal brushes against your skin and you swallow thickly at the potent smell. You slide your hands back up, just to draw them back down, letting your nails lightly scratch at his back. He shudders and you bring your hands to rest lightly on the swell of his ass.

“Feeling better, sweetheart?” Jimin squirms slightly, but nods nonetheless. You grin. “Do you need anything else, sweetheart? I’m here to help.”

Jimin remains silent and so you begin to slowly knead his ass. Your fingers dig in and he lets out a moan. Moving back up, your fingertips dance along his spine and he whines.

“Hmm? Something wrong, sweetheart? If you need something, speak up.”

“I-” He buries his face in the couch. You let him take his time, hands rubbing soothingly along his back, occasionally dipping to his ass. Eventually he mumbles something into the cushions that you don’t quite catch, but you know enough to know what he’s asking for.

“A little louder please, baby. I didn’t catch that.”

He groans clearly embarrassed at having to voice his wants, but lifts his head dutifully, studiously staring down at the couch. “Can I eat you out?” He mutters.

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, you certainly hadn’t expected that to be his request. “Are you sure sweetheart? That’s what you want?”

He nods and you can see his ears turning red. You slide off of him, pressing against his side and tilting his face so he’s forced to look at you. His gaze darts around nervously, like he’s waiting for you to say no to his request. He looks two seconds away from taking it back so you press a gentle kiss to his lips. You wait for him to relax enough for you to maneuver you both around so that you can slip underneath him. You kiss languidly, his lips soft and full and you could spend the rest of the night beneath him just doing this and feel satisfied. When you think about his request and where that means his lips will go, you gently tug him away. Who are you to deny him what he wants?

“Go on sweetheart. Do what you want.”

He blinks at you for a moment, words processing slowly before his eyes light up with excitement and he moves quickly backwards. He tugs your shorts and underwear off so fast that you worry for a moment about them ripping, but Jimin parting your legs once they’re free of the fabric sufficiently distracts from all worries about your clothing. He curses under his breath as he stares almost ravenously at your newly exposed cunt. He licks his lips and before you can make a comment about his staring, he pushes your shirt up and presses a kiss to your belly, earning a startled gasp from you. His mouth traces a leisurely path down your stomach, nipping at one hip then the other. He leaves a trail of kisses down one thigh, reaching your knee before switching to the other leg. The methodic way he moves his lips and tongue across your skin leaves you feeling warm all over, pleasure simmering just below the surface wherever he touches.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he dips down to press a wet kiss your clit, earning a moan from you. His tongue darts out, circling your clit. He groans at your taste, tongue slipping further down to lap at your hole to get more of your taste. He traces random patterns between the two points, lingering just enough at one spot for your toes to begin to curl before moving onto a different spot.

You moan, tangling your fingers in his hair and attempting to direct him where you want him, but it seems that at the moment he’s unwilling to listen, losing himself in eating you out. You bite back a whine when he stubbornly doesn’t move, his tongue gradually driving you crazy with need. Jungkook’s comments from earlier come back and you know the perfect way to get him to listen.

“Fuck, sweetheart. You’re doing such a good job. You’re so good.” You shower him with praise, his actions picking up the more you encourage him. He eventually shifts lower again, focusing on circling your hole, occasionally dipping the tip of his tongue in.

You let him have his fun for a moment longer before finally growing tired of his teasing. “Sweetheart, be a good boy for me and don’t tease.”

He glances up at you with hazy eyes before they slide closed and his tongue finally pushes into you. You let out a drawn out curse when his tongue reaches much deeper than you expect it to. You’re suddenly very glad that you didn’t press the issue of Jimin’s request to eat you out.

You gasp and squirm as he begins to thrust his tongue into you, the length allowing him to drag against your g spot everytime he pulls his tongue out. As you squirm more, his fingers dig into your thighs tight enough to bruise to keep your legs still. He fucks you with his tongue and for all that you’re a succubus and meant to be in charge here right now, you feel almost powerless under the expert way his tongue twists and presses against all the right spots.

“God, Jimin… Baby, you’re doing such- such a good job.” You moan, tugging at his hair.

He makes a happy noise against you, shifting against the couch. His tongue slips out and his plush lips wrap around your clit again as one hand abandons your thigh in favor of slipping two fingers into you. A few pumps of his fingers coupled with his mouth working your clit, you cum with a cry, thighs clamping around his head and keeping him in place as you ride out your orgasm. His movements slow, fingers slipping gently out as you come down, carefully prying your legs apart to keep you from smothering him.

It takes you a moment to regain your breath and notice the way his slick lips are brushing against the inside of your thigh and once you notice, you can feel the hot puffs of air against your sensitive skin and you can feel the hunger in the air.

He gulps, tongue darting out to lick his lips, brushing against your skin in the process. “Y-y/n?” He murmurs, hesitant.

You can already guess at what exactly it is that he wants to ask. But rather than answer you decide to tease him a little. “Yes, sweetheart?”

He glances at you before flushing and glancing away. You really want to squish his cheeks and call him cute, no one should look that shy and adorable with a tongue like that and his chin still shiny. He fidgets under your gaze.

“Jiminie, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what you want.”

He takes a deep breath, staring at some point just past your thigh, temptingly laid out before him like a buffet. “Um.. Can I…” He rubs gently at the spot where your blood pumps closest to the surface. “Can I feed?”

You brush your fingers gently through his hair. “Of course, sweetheart.”

His eyes light up and his lips brush reverently across the skin of your thigh, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You shudder, you’d be lying if you said you this wasn’t one of your favorite parts of sleeping with a vampire. Maybe you should look into that later. His tongue dips out, tracing your artery and you’d laugh at how his process mimics wine tasters if it was so incredibly eroctic to watch him be so delicate and tender about this. Like you’ve given him some grand gift and he has to take his time with it. He peppers kisses across the bruises he left and you suddenly feel tears sting your eyes at the gentle way he’s handling you.

Finally, you feel his fangs graze your skin, just for a brief moment. Then they’re pressing in with a momentary sharp pain that’s quickly replaced with that familiar euphoric feeling. You moan as Jimin takes slow, greedy gulps, savoring each drop of your blood that slides down his throat. You’d squirm at the way your body tingles, pussy dripping a fresh wave of slick but Jimin has you pinned down with no effort at all on his part and that just makes it even hotter.

He pulls away and you feel dizzy with need. He laps at the last few drops that well from the puncture marks before they seal themselves. He licks his lips clean, eyes closed in bliss.

“Sweetheart.” He looks up at you with hooded eyes and you smirk. “Fuck me.”

He lets out a noise somewhere between a groan and a whine and is quickly moving up your body, shoving his pants down just enough to get his cock out. You giggle at his eagerness to hide how just the sight of his cock is enough to make you want to pin him down and ride him until he cries. Your giggle earns you a pout and sad eyes from Jimin. You coo, cupping his face.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” You sooth, drawing him close to press a kiss to his lips and he tastes of an intoxicating mix of your blood and cum. “I’m glad you’re so eager. You’re such a good boy.”

His chest puffs out with pride as he quickly returns to the task of lining himself up, his tip prods at your hole but he pauses, glancing back to you. You wrap your legs around his waist, digging your heels into his ass to get him moving. He gets the message quickly, thrusting all the way in, head dropping to rest against your shoulder. He pauses for a moment and you wonder if it’s for your benefit or his.

You give him a small reprieve before you squirm slightly and Jimin pushes himself upright and pulls back, cock sliding almost all the way out before he’s thrusting back in. He sets a fast pace and you can tell he’s been keeping his stress pent up from the way his fingers flex on your hips, the way he stares down at where he’s disappearing inside you.

You run a hand lightly across his forearm. “Go on sweetheart, take what you need. You know I can take it.”

He gulps, glances down then back up to you. “Are you… sure?”

You smirk, tongue running across your bottom lip. “Jimin, I’m over 600 years old and literally a sex demon. Trust me,” you pause and squeeze his arm. “I can take whatever you’ve got and more.”

He chews on his lip for a moment, you can see the battle happening in his mind. You want to roll your eyes, but instead you push out just a little extra dose of lust into the room and Jimin’s reaction is instant. His hips jerk forward and he moans. His fingers tighten brusingly on your hips as he quickly speeds up his thrusts. His head drops back, eyes closed in pleasure.

“There you go, sweetheart. That’s it, let go.” You gasp out as his thrusts grow rougher, hand sliding down your belly to rub at your clit.

“I-” He groans and shudders. “Gonna… Can I cum?” He whines, jaw tense.

“Aw, sweetheart, look at you being so good and asking.” Jimin nods frantically, nails biting into your skin. You’d draw this out more, but with the feeding and his rough thrusts, you’re about to cum again. And Jimin’s been so well behaved that you decide that he deserves a treat. “Of course. You’ve been so good for me. Cum for me sweetheart.”

Jimin throws one of your legs over his shoulder, leans down so it presses to your chest and murmurs a quiet ‘thank you’ before he captures your lips in a messy kiss. You moan into his mouth, fingers speeding up as you feel yourself getting close.

Jimin whines, feeling you beginning to tighten around him and his murmured ‘please cum’ pushes you over the edge, pussy spasming around his cock. He gets a few more thrusts in before he’s gasping into your mouth as his entire body shudders. You feel him pulse within you, filling you up.

He collapses on top of you, letting your leg slide off his shoulder. He pants against the skin of your chest and you let your fingers run gently through his hair as you murmur about what a good job he did.

His softening cock slips out of you and he readjusts so he’s cuddled up to you more comfortably, head still on your chest. You both remain mostly quiet, enjoying the peacefulness that has suffused the apartment and you don’t realize how much time has passed until you hear Jin and Jungkook coming back down the hallway. Jimin seems to have either not noticed or doesn’t care to notice, although you’re fairly certain that he’s actually asleep now.

So you tug the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over the two of you moments before the door opens and the two enter, bickering once again about something. You hear Jin go into the kitchen and Jungkook rounds the corner, looking down at you and a sleeping Jimin with a fond, happy smile.

“I knew you could help noona!” He cheers, leaning over the back to press a kiss to your lips.

You shove his head away with a chuckle, careful not to jostle Jimin too much. “If you wake Jimin up, you will be punished and I will make sure that you are personally responsible for helping him fall back asleep.”

You level him a look and he stares at you with wide eyes, cheeks flushed. “What was that?” He calls, glancing over his shoulder. “I think I heard Jin calling. So I should probably go check on that. Do you need anything? No? Okay bye!” He calls, quickly retreating to the kitchen.

Jimin huffs against you. “I wish he was that scared of me.”

You hum, adjusting the blanket around you both, enjoying the warmth. “I’ll teach you sometime.”

You ignore the way that rolled off your tongue like a lie.

#bangtanarmynet #thebtstown #btsguild #kwritersworldnet #ksmutclub #bts smut #jimin smut #bts x reader #jimin x reader #vampire bts #vampire jimin #vampire au #supernatural au #bts au #jimin au #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #lucidity au #i'm so sorry this took so long

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hecohansen31 · 4 years

Text

Not The Right Time

The Story of How We Ended Up There:

Ivar+Reader (Modern! AU).

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

So this is my second idea for Ivar!

I am honestly a bit attached to this because it is the first one which came to my mind and with it being modern! Ivar I feel a bit more secure about the characterization, but still… let me know where I have to get better or work better!

I also wanted to explain that this is fictional and that some choices made by the reader are due to the plot and not what I actually and personally believe about such a complex argument as abortion.

Don’t feel judged in the slightest by this (and if you feel, please know I don’t mean it, and what I can do to avoid this mistake in the future).

Again this is a prologue to the bigger series, but it is mostly to know whether you like this idea or not!

So if you want more, please leave a comment or a reblog so that I’ll know what you think about it!

Have a nice reading!

SUMMARY: It wasn’t the right time to have a child and it isn’t the right time for you to meet your child’s father after all those years, but maybe... time and Destiny are two huge bastards.

WORDS: 4,7 K

WARNINGS: Pregnancy, Unexpected Pregnancy, Pregnancy at a Young Age, Mention of Abortion (and Being Harsh About it), Heartbreak and General Angst, Abandonement Issues and Being A Single Mom, Mention of Infertility, Use of the Word Cripple.

You were sure that you were cursed.

Who could end up pregnant… the first time they had had sex?

And worst of all, when you were nothing more than sixteen years old.

You weren’t also the type who would risk such thing.

Although you were naïve you were well-aware of the need to use protection.

And then, in the heat of the moment, you had forgotten about everything.

Just for eight weeks after to cry on the toilet, at the discovery that you were pregnant.

You hadn’t noticed it at first: you hadn’t gotten your period for a month, but you hadn’t thought too much about that, it sometimes happened.

But then, a few weeks after you had started feeling bad, both not energetic enough to do the normal chores and also extremely nauseous, which had then resulted in you thinking that pregnancy might have been a cause of your unwellness.

You had thought for the entire time you had been waiting for the result of the pregnancy test, that it wasn’t possible, it would obviously turn out negative.

You had a successful life ahead of you, a child… wouldn’t ruin your life, but certainly it wouldn’t have ruined all your dreams.

You had been mortified to discover that you were indeed pregnant.

And then you had been indignant: there were people who constantly had unsafe sex, every time they had it and they would never ever end up with a baby on the way.

Then you had had sex once, and shit went down.

Back then you had been scared shitless of telling your parents and had hidden the pregnancy test: what would have they thought of you?

Still you had thought that you had to talk about it with somebody.

And more precisely, the father of the baby.

You and Ivar were the typical high school sweethearts: you had moved slowly from friends-to-lovers and were both late bloomers in the sex department.

Hence when Ivar had wanted to ‘try’, you had been over the moon at that news.

Lately he had grown distant from you, after you had had sex, and some part of you couldn’t help but think darkly that he wasn’t interested with you anymore ‘because he had finally gotten what he wanted’.

But you knew Ivar better than anyone: he might appear like the coldest ice king, but he was sweet and soft with you, shy and gentle, the perfect gentleman.

So, you had thought to at least inform him about ‘the child’, thinking that it was also partially his decision about the baby, although right now some part of you, the one who wanted desperately to continue on dreaming wanted to delete this ‘mistake’.

But some deeper part in you, thought about what a lovely life would have been to share a child with Ivar.

It might not have been perfect, but you felt like it would have been a nice image.

A nice image of your future.

But when you had asked Ivar to meet you at your favorite diner, the one you had chosen for your ‘first awkward date,’ he had also told you that he had something to say to you.

Had he realized that you might have been pregnant?

The entire situation there had seemed rather awkward, Ivar had this acute gaze in his eyes, not to talk about the harsh way his mouth had been closed closed in a thin line for the entire time.

He had arrived late, meanwhile you were halfway through the second of a milkshake you had been having, the pregnancy cravings playing an important role in your diet lately.

“Hey, sweetie!” you had welcomed him, your high-pitched tone, expressing your happiness to have him there, he always fixed your darkest moments “…how are you?”.

Unlike you, he didn’t seem in the mood for any sweetness.

He simply replied with a nod and ‘a fine’, waving the waitress over for a coffee, you stared at him for the entire time: you hadn’t seen him in quite for quite a few days, due to studying, and couldn’t help but set your gaze on him, welcoming any new traits of him and wanting to kiss them, passing a finger through…

“… I don’t have much time, so I’ll say this as quick as I can” and then he had caught you in his icy gaze “… I am not in love with you, anymore”.

An arrow shot through your heart would have hurt you less.

You had stammered some questions, but Ivar had been glacial in his words, definitely not asking for any reply.

“… I have discovered it from quite some time ago, I didn’t want to tell you till I was sure, but these last days… have been… I didn’t miss you” every word was a strike to your hear, and you hadn’t been able to properly protest “… I am sorry, I pulled this for so long, but I can’t…”.

Then and there you had gotten up, probably the best option possible, the only thing of that day that, looking back, you were proud of.

You had been crying on the sofa when your parents had found you, and there you had explained anything that had happened to you.

Child included.

They had been disappointed with you and your father hadn’t talked to you for the entire pregnancy but your mother had been the bigger support for you.

She hadn’t shouted, unlike your father, but just asked what you had wanted to.

‘Do you want to…?’ she hadn’t been able to talk about the option of abortion and you had understood her: she wouldn’t approve of it, but she would have helped through the entire process “… or do you want to keep it, babygirl?”.

“Shelley! Of course, she’ll fucking…! She is too young, she can’t fucking take care of a child!” had retorted your father, and you had covered your ears, shielding them from his hurting words.

It was as if for the first time your father wasn’t seeing his little girl anymore.

And you had chosen to try so desperately to go back to that image he had of you, choosing abortion, but when you had heard the child’s heartbeat, you hadn’t been able to carry on

You had gripped your mother’s hand and pleaded to her not to go through this, not to kill your baby.

Although you’d have to grow it alone, although the heartbreak was still pretty real and although it seemed the worst and you weren’t ready, you just couldn’t delete all this, so simply.

You had taken private lessons to hide your pregnancy, since you hadn’t wanted to reveal it to anyone, avoiding any outings unless you were sure you wouldn’t have been anywhere near people you knew.

The first week after the break-up, Ivar had continued on blowing up your phone with messages and calls, but you wouldn’t even look at his messages, ignoring him till you had convinced yourself to block his number and when he had tried to visit your home to talk, he had been lucky your father was out, and you had pleaded with your mother to fake of not being inside.

You had graduated from high school, one year prior, thanks to all the credits you had collected during the years and had a private diploma ceremony with your family and your pregnant belly.

You had grown to love your baby during the pregnancy: you would talk to them whenever you could, caressing your belly and chatting with them about your day, all the funny stuff you would do together and what the world outside looked like.

The entire birth part scared you like crazy, but you thought it would have been worth it.

And it had been as you had held your child in your arms, after hours of agonizing pain.

They had been forced to cut you open since the child was taking quite his time and you wouldn’t dilatate yourself, enough.

But when you had woken up your mother was lulling him in her arms.

He looked beautiful, having gained two beautiful blue eyes and a smile that made your heart clench.

Too bad that the doctor had taken it from you too early.

‘He seems to have problem moving’ he had mentioned, meanwhile he visited the baby ‘Is there any story of problematic diseases, troubling mostly bones or muscles?’.

‘The father has osteogenesis imperfecta’ had explained your mother, meanwhile you called out for your child ‘… but it isn’t…’.

‘No, sadly it is’ he had explained, meanwhile he gently handled the baby’s legs ‘… I can already feel a few broken bones… this is going to be much more difficult than you might think’.

Your mother had been scared about having to help you up, but you and Erik had just done fine, not without mistakes and problems, but you had managed to love your son and give him a proper life, even with his ‘problematic’.

All of this, without Ivar.

The Lothbrock had moved out on Erik’s first birthday, something which honestly helped you, since the thought of Ivar not meeting Erik stopped your ‘house arrests’ and pushed you out of the house, even more because you had to actually get a job.

Working as a waitress didn’t make enough income to help you with a child and the thought of moving away from your parents (although your mother insisted that you didn’t bother them, you felt that your father wasn’t of the same opinion) was terrifying, so you had taken up to giving some lessons to high schoolers and some more salutary jobs.

You ran all the time around, and had to definitely renounce to going to college, but each night, when you would come home, breathless and tired, to Erik, your sweet child, you knew it was worth it.

For five years it had been perfect.

And then everything changed.

Ivar knew he was already fucking late to the meeting with his brothers.

It hadn’t been properly his fault, although he would rather die than confess to his brother that he had been seeing a fertility clinic with Freydis, to try to start their own family.

The sole mention of a fertility clinic would have raised questions he didn’t want his brothers to ask.

Hhey already seemed to have a feud with Freydis that had been ruining his wedding’s preparations.

He already could hear Sigurd making fun of him for not being able to please properly a woman, which was partially true.

Through the years, his stupid prick hadn’t gotten up for any woman, even his beloved Freydis, the one woman that made him feel a god.

But it had happened once, probably more out of luck than anything.

His first love and the first girl whose heart he had broken.

And you had returned the favor: he reminded the days after he had acted onto his brothers’ wishes, when you wouldn’t answer the phone and pretended not to be at home.

It had been enough for him to feel like you didn’t want him anymore.

Maybe it was why his stupid prick wouldn’t work.

Some of the sex therapist Freydis had brought him to, had suggested that his ‘inability to raise to the occasion’ was due to some rejection his past, so it might have been actually true.

But he didn’t trust any of those doctors.

He simply did it for Freydis, because she still hoped.

He didn’t, anymore.

He walked in the diner, it was a small one, similar to the one of the city he had lived, before he moved in the big city, for work and for many more occasions, but he couldn’t help but regret the beauty of these small places.

They never aged and they always brought him comfort, timeless and always there for jim

He had had his first date in one of those.

(He had also broken up with his first love in one of those).

He still didn’t let himself drown in his thoughts, knowing that going back in time and turning it, was impossible.

(No matter how much, sometimes, he wished he could do so).

He immediately recognized his brothers’ table as the noisiest one, moving straight up to it, not minding the fact that half the eyes of the clients in the diner were on him.

It was one of the many side effects of being a cripple.

“You finally joined us!” exclaimed Hvitserk, talking through a full mouth of food.

“Unlike you lazy asses, I have things to do” he mumbled as Ubbe shifted to make him some space next to him “… can’t survive on father’s paychecks only”.

He sent a direct look to Sigurd, who was using his father’s paychecks to support his (failing) musical career.

“At least I don’t have to be reigned by my girlfriend” muttered darkly Sigurd and Ivar wasn’t able to stop himself from almost attacking him.

Thankfully Ubbe did it for him.

“No need to fight brothers” he stated, readjusting the glasses Ivar had knocked over “Don’t make a scene, we are older than children and we are here to have a nice night among brothers, are we not?”.

“I am here for the free food” muffled Hvitserk, offering a humor relief that made all the brother laugh lightly.

They talked more civilly and then a waitress moved in to ask their orders, but Ivar’s ears were suddenly attracted by another noise, a voice that had belonged in his memories.

Had he left them open?

And then he turned to where the voice came from.

And he saw you.

He remembered you as a sweet girl, what you had been hadn’t changed, except the way you carried yourself, showing a growth, a painful one that hadn’t changed what you believed in.

But it still left signs.

As the scars of a battle.

You had your hair up in a high ponytail, and you were wearing a waitress uniform, probably working there to fund your way to college.

Your eyes were tired, but your lips were crooked in a small smile as you took a small child’s ordination.

He thought he was hallucinating, when Hvitserk again spoke up:

“Is that (Y/N) (L/N)?!” this got all the brothers’ attention to shift to where Ivar was looking, although he wished nothing more than to shield you, because he had discovered you first.

“… oh shit, yeah it’s her” muttered Ubbe, following your silhouette as you turned your back to them to move to counter “… I thought she would be in college”.

“Some people don’t have their parents’ back up, she might be simply working to pay college” muttered Ivar, but nobody seemed to hear him.

“She hasn’t certainly aged a day!” commented Hvitserk, giving your ass a meaningful look “… ahh can you remember when we dared little Ivar, to…”.

Ivar shushed him with a dark look.

But when he was doing this, he didn’t realize that Sigurd was waving you over.

You approached the table smiling, since you and Sigurd had been an unlike friendship, and Ivar still remembered how his ‘most sensitive’ brother had been against the ‘dare’, but as he turned to face you, you seemed to realize who Sigurd was with.

And the soft smile fell from your face.

You seemed to have seen a ghost.

“Oh Gosh, (Y/N), it’s been a lot since we have seen each other!” commented Sigurd, meanwhile your waitress friend asked with her eyes whether you knew these people or not.

You simply nodded, forcing a smile on your face, telling her you would have taken their ordinations.

“Ah it’s been a lot of time, indeed!” you smirked lightly “… I always see you in TV!”.

“… sadly, never winning” muttered Hvitserk “… we weren’t expecting to see you working here!”.

“And I wasn’t expecting you to greet me without your mouth full of food, so we are both surprised by how Destiny has cheated us” you joked back, smirking lightly “… it’s nice to see you, guys, but I haven’t much time”.

Although you were trying to be gentle, it was obvious that their presence was making you nervous and uncomfortable.

Ivar wondered whether it was for what had happened with him.

He couldn’t help but notice the way you avoided any eye-contact with him.

They all quickly gave you their orders and you thanked them, but before you could go away, again Sigurd grabbed your wrist, making Ivar hiss lightly.

“You have been greatly missed, (Y/N)” the simple affirmation seemed to break something in you and you were able to simply bow your head, as you moved to quickly report the order to the counter, before disappearing in the kitchen.

A quick sign that you didn’t reciprocate Sigurd’s thought.

“Well that didn’t go well…” muttered Hvitserk, going back to his food.

“It was strange” muttered Ubbe “… it’s strange… I expected her to be in Europe, she was always so brilliant”.

“Ubbe, what she does is none of your business” muttered Sigurd, for once, his words matching Ivar’s thoughts.

“I just… I mean… she doesn’t seem as the person who is stuck at 21st to serve tables, she was always smarter than that” mumbled Ubbe, again but shushed, as an elder woman brought them their meals.

“You know our sweet (Y/N)?” she asked, probably having witnessed the exchange of words, and Sigurd explained they were old schoolmates “… such a sweetheart, and so strong…”.

“Anything bad happened?” asked curiously Ivar, knowing all too well when to ask and when to stay quiet, and that woman seemed like she wanted so desperately to talk.

“Nothing too bad” mumbled the old lady, pouring some coffee in their glasses “… just… she is so strong for bringing a child on her own”.

The news immediately surprised all the brothers.

Again, you were the smart and hardworking girl, the one that followed the rules and didn’t have any vices, so for you to have a child, so young, didn’t make sense.

You should have been attending the last year of college, hadn’t you already finished it.

The thought of knowing you were already a mom, completely shocked Ivar.

And, although he wouldn’t admit it, he felt jealous at the thought of another man having known you so carnally.

“… oh, we didn’t know” uttered Ubbe “We have lost the contacts, when we moved in another city, after high school ended”.

“If you want, I can tell her that you’d like to get acquainted again” mumbled softly the waitress, probably thinking she was doing something good, something that would have made you happy.

But from the simple thought of your forced smile, a few minutes before, you wouldn’t have been happy in the slightest of meeting them.

And Ivar couldn’t make it a fault to you.

“She is working, we wouldn’t want to bother her or get in trouble, we are going to try to maybe contact her through the socials, but it was good to see her” commented softly Sigurd, smirking gently at the elder waitress, who simply nodded before muttering something under her breath ‘about the usefulness of social’.

As she moved away a deep silence fell onto their tables.

“I didn’t… wow… she never told me” muttered extremely baffled Sigurd.

“Did you stay in contact with her after we moved?” replied harshly Ivar and as Sigurd shook his head “… well then you can’t blame her for having hidden this to you”.

They had obviously lost any right to you, after ‘the dare’.

He, himself, couldn’t blame you.

“…can’t believe it” muttered Ubbe, sipping slowly his coffee, meanwhile Hvitserk nodded.

“Accidents happen, don’t they?” muttered Sigurd. before he proceeded to move their attention away from the thought, although Ivar’s mind was stuck onto that news.

Had you searched the attention of another person, because he had rejected you?

No, you had always been stronger than you seemed.

You wouldn’t have simply searched somebody to feel some love.

You had had to have loved the father of your child.

And the sole thought of it burned his chest painfully.

You were on the last shift of the day, and although usually you were almost happy for the extra tips which would come, this time you would have given everything to change your shift or close early.

It had started as a nice day: Erik’s bones were strengthening themselves from the therapy he had been doing and he had been excited for the soccer training of that afternoon.

Your mother had been also extremely happy to accompany ‘her favorite grandson’: she had been rather blue after your father had left you, both.

Thankfully he had left your family but not the house and the little money your mother had on her own, which had funded your move from the small city to a bigger one.

Sometimes you wondered how much your pregnancy and Erik’s sickness had impacted on your father leaving, but you tried not to think about it.

He hadn’t been held at gun point, he had chosen to leave a faithful wife, a devoted daughter and a wonderful grandchild.

You, yourself, had walked at work happy, thinking about the fact that you had also managed to schedule a meeting with an art gallery.

Through the five years you had been working on improving your culture, although you hadn’t been able to attend college, you had attended some free courses and apparently they were looking for some people to explain the art gallery’s shows, hence you had proposed yourself.

Although you knew there would be many more talented people also attending it, but… you hadn’t felt like giving up.

If you got the job, you might have had to quit one of your many jobs and spend more time with Erik, alongside paying for some new therapies.

Then you had seen the Lothbrocks at one of the tables.

And you had been glad of having met again Sigurd: you sometimes would see some of his performances at lower TV channels, and always joked with Erik about his songs.

Ubbe and Hvitserk had been indifferent to you and you had kept up the same behavior.

But Ivar…

… part of you was worried about him finding out about Erik, solely from your thought.

Back in the day, he used to be extremely intuitive.

And part of you couldn’t help but feel the pain of rejection all over again.

You had tried to find an excuse to avoid them, after the first little chat, although you were aware they would be talking about it: the small town from which you had come from had talked since you had shown Erik to it.

‘She used to be such a good girl’.

‘She used to have such a bright future ahead of her’.

‘She could have been so successful…’.

Blah blah blah.

Although you would discourage people from getting pregnant at such a young age, you didn’t feel like you had lost anything, maybe just pushed it a bit in the future, but you, yourself, had gotten through your own prejudices of being a single and younger mom.

You might have lost something, but your child was a blessing in your life.

So, you just shook off the critics.

You were waiting at the cash desk, chatting amicably with the cook of the diner, the one who made the last turn with you, always having the kind heart of packing something for you, and leaving some sweets for Erik, slowly gaining a little spot in your family, as ‘uncle Will’.

You were also checking the situation at the Lothbrock table, because, whereas all the other clients had already paid or were going to do it soon, they were stalling.

Their meals were finished, and they were chatting, although there would be more silence than actual words, and when you had sent Marlou to ask if they wanted a dessert or more coffee, they had simply replied that they were full.

They were obviously waiting and deciding who had to pay for the meal, who had to come face to face with you.

You almost expected them to start playing ‘paper, rock and scissors’ but finally you heard the distinctive screech of one of the chairs moving, but as you raised your head to see whoever had finally managed to collect their courage ‘to battle you’, you couldn’t help but be a bit nervous to discover it was Ivar.

He looked a bit annoyed, as if he had expected somebody else to volunteer at his courageous attempt, but nobody did and you immediately shut your eyes onto the screen of the cash machine, finding their bill, so that you wouldn’t have to talk with him too much.

He, instead, seemed a bit chatty, although he had that painfully awkward smile in his face he had whenever he was nervous about doing something.

Back in the day when you were together you would rub onto the back of his hand if you were in public to let him know your support, or when you were alone, you would body-hug-attack him.

But those memories seemed so long ago.

“It has passed quite some time” he mumbled softly, trying to chat you up, but you had no interest in conversing with him.

‘I see it on my child’s face’ you wanted to mutter, but again: you couldn’t make Ivar discover about Erik.

At first it had been a petty thought of your broken heart, but the more Erik grew the more you were scared that Ivar knowing of him would take him away from you.

It was irrational, but sometimes you would check out on your child.

You would do it also that night.

“Quite some time, indeed” you shot back, telling him the total and asking whether he would be paying in cash or not.

Ivar seemed a bit taken aback by the coldness in your tone, but reacted to it better than he was used, hiding his pain at your harshness, as he told you he would be paying in cash, keeping up the entire rest of the transaction in silence, meanwhile you opened the cash collected the money, counting it discreetly, printed the receipt.

He tried to do one last attempt.

“… we should come all together one of these days”.

More like hell no.

But you didn’t reject the proposal completely.

“It would be nice” Ivar’s face seemed to regain a bit of color at that affirmation “I am just a lot busy with work, but I’ll see what I can do”.

And with that you passed him the receipt and wished him a good day, turning to the kitchen to fake an emergency there, whereas Will was simply packing you the leftovers which would be your dinner.

You waited there, spying on Ivar, seeing him for the first time in five years properly: he dressed as the industrial magnate he was rumored to become in a few years, expanding his father’s properties, but he didn’t have the face of an happy magnate.

At least Destiny hadn’t given him that.

He indulged a bit on his feet, and pushed a few dollar bills into the tips bucket, something that low key opened a bit your heart to him but didn’t make you feel any less convinced about hiding him from Erik.

You closed the shop alongside Marlou, who continued on commenting about how ‘gorgeous were your school friends’.

‘They were all so handsome! Ahh what a lucky family!’.

‘They could have been your children!’ you had retorted almost receiving an elbow in your stomach from the woman, as she muttered that ‘at least it would have been better than Karl’, her thirty something unemployed son with a permanent place on her sofa.

After you had wished her ‘goodnight’, you had walked till your apartment, rushing a bit both because seeing Lothbrocks had surprised you and both because you couldn’t wait to see again Eric, who had stayed the day with your mom, waiting simply for you at home to tell you all about his day.

No matter how tired or shaken you were, your son’s smile never failed to make you feel a bit better.

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stephkaylor · 3 years

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FAVES and FAILS: The Vampire Diaries

So I have decided that since The Vampire Diaries has a spin off, The Originals, I am going to divide the characters based on where they appeared the most. So on this list I will be talking about the Salvatores, the Petrova/Gilbert line, the Bennets and Caroline, etc. but I will discuss the Mikaelsons, Hayley, etc. on their own list with the other characters that appeared on The Originals mostly. As always, spoilers are abound as I will discuss storylines and character arcs below, so be warned of that. In any case, here’s my FAVES and FAILS for The Vampire Diaries.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: Damon Salvatore

Could it be anyone else? I don’t think so. He’s a delightful little sociopathic shit and I love everything about him. He is 99% id and 1% ego, if that, and even when I hated him, I loved him (god, I sound like Elena…). In any case, love this man, five stars, would recommend, chef’s kiss.

LEAST FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER: …I think Matt Donovan…?

Ugh, it’s hard to pick between Matt, Tyler, and Jeremy, but I think it has to be Matt. I never enjoyed his judgey attitude against everything supernatural, he seemed pretty whiney most of the time, and he was just genuinely uninteresting for the majority of the show. Not into it. Pass.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Katherine Pierce (Katarina Petrova)

I thought about giving this post to Caroline by default, but if it comes down to it, Katherine nudges her way into the top spot. Katherine gave no fucks, knew what she wanted and was unapologetic about how she went about getting it, and an all around bad bitch. Was she primarily evil? Yes. But, to be honest, it never really bothered me.

LEAST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER: Bonnie Bennet

God, this woman was annoying. She was hypocritical, judgmental, and far too holier than thou for me to swallow her bullshit. She constantly played favorites with Caroline and Elena (I’m sorry, you hold Caroline becoming a vampire against her for like two seasons, but when Elena becomes one, it’s not her fault? Sure.). She hated all supernatural creatures because they “go against nature”, but it’s totally chill for you to perform sacrificial magic to get what you want, unleashing a terrible evil in the process (but it’s not her fault). How she nearly excommunicated Caroline just because she stayed with Stefan after Stefan killed Enzo, as if it was her fault in any way. How everyone treated her like she was a special little unicorn because she’s a Bennet Witch and she’s so magical, like, please, gag me. I could go on, but I honestly cannot be bothered. Hard pass.

THE CHARACTER THAT DESERVED BETTER: Caroline Forbes

She was essentially shunned by all of her friends and family for becoming a vampire, even though she didn’t choose to become one at all. Also, she was basically used as collateral damage for the entire Salvatores and Gilberts versus The Mikaelsons debacle just because Klaus liked her. She was always the second choice no matter what the situation was (unless it’s her being impregnated with magical twins without her consent and then guilted into carrying the babies, but poor Alaric just lost his wife. I’m sorry, unless it’s your uterus, shut the fuck up). I’ll just be over here doing what exactly NO ONE on the show did, and pick Caroline first.

DEADWEIGHT CHARACTER WE SHOULD’VE DUMPED IN 2009: Tyler Lockwood

I couldn’t pick Matt twice, so Tyler, I guess. He was selfish, a terrible boyfriend to both Caroline and also Liv later, and if I have to hear that boy whine about his fucking sire bond one more time I will literally throw my laptop off of a bridge.

UNDERHYPED CHARACTER: Lorenzo “Enzo” St. John

Honestly, he’s one of the one things that made the last few seasons of the show bearable. His delightful British rogue was a lovely way to fill the void that the Mikaelsons left in my heart, his devil-may-care attitude was man-made-manifest of what I was always thinking while watching the show, his BFF relationship with Damon and later Caroline was a joy to watch, and he was way too good for Bonnie.

OVERHYPED CHARACTER: Alaric Saltzman

He is marginally more bearable right now on Legacies, but he annoyed the shit out of me while he was on the first show. Does he hate vampires or is he best friends with them? Does he want to be a hunter or does he want to stay away from anything supernatural of any kind? Also, he (along with nearly everyone else) basically guilted Caroline into carrying his magical siphoner babies, which is a touch too icky for me…

SHIP YOU WOULD SELL YOUR SOUL FOR: Delena (Damon and Elena)

Could it be anyone else? I never shipped Stelena, as I found both Stefan annoying and Elena too woe-is-me while she was with him. She made Damon want to be a better person and he made her embrace who she really was, monster and all. They had a perfect balance between themselves, and it was a joy to watch. He got the girl, guys.

SHIP YOU JUST WERE’N THAT INTO: Steroline (Stefan and Caroline)

They were just too…meh. I was entirely uninterested in them, whatsoever, and isn’t that even worse than a ship that you hate? I used their scenes for a bathroom break or to get a snack, as I was guaranteed to miss nothing interesting or important while they were on screen.

CHARACTER YOU LOVE TO HATE/FAVORITE VILLAIN: Kai Parker

What does it say about me that all of my favorite characters are violent psychopaths…? I’m just going to leave that to be unpacked with the future therapists I’m bound to hire. Kai was the perfect evil. He was powerful, purposeful, and unapologetically demonic in the very best way. I could watch him terrorize my favorite characters forever and not get bored. Perfection.

FAVORITE STORYLINE: Stefan and Damon’s Brotherhood

If you don’t think this is what the show was about at it’s core, you’re wrong. They loved each other, they hated each other, they died for each other, they killed for each other, and, ultimately, they let nothing and nobody come between them. If you asked me who Damon loved more, Elena or Stefan, I COULD NOT answer you, and isn’t that just the fucking point?!

STORYLINE WE COULD’VE DONE WITHOUT: Magical Babies

I know that a major reason this was even a storyline is because Candice Accola got pregnant, but still…how? Like…she is a vampire..? She is unable to biologically change…? Like can someone grab me a biology textbook and explain how this a thing that can happen BIOLOGICALLY, please? I get that they are mythical creatures, so science doesn’t mean much here, but it just doesn’t make sense in any universe. Also, as I said above, the fact that Caroline was impregnated without her consent and then largely guilted into carrying the babies is a touch too rape-y for me…

BIGGEST PLOTHOLE: Do they go to school, or…?

Like, are they just compelling the teachers to not notice them not attending class like 90% off the time? Also, how do the people in Mystic Falls not know anything about the supernatural? Like, they aren’t subtle AT ALL so how do they keep sliding under the radar? Also, in a lesser way, how are hybrid witch/vampires a thing? Like, I thought if a witch dies (like they would have to if they become a vampire), they lose their magic…?Make it make sense, Julie!

MOST HEARTBREAKING MOMENT: Damon Dies (the first time)

Honestly one of the saddest moments in the entire series was Damon’s ghost watching Elena lose it when he doesn’t make it back from the Other Side. They were finally happy and together and they can only enjoy it for like five minutes before it goes to shit. Why, Julie??!

BIGGEST EYEROLL MOMENT: Magical Babies (again)

I try to not use something twice on this list but COME ON. This was ridiculous and I do not support this in any way. (Also this twin bullshit is still fucking annoying on Legacies, if anyone was wondering).

MOST SHOCKING MOMENT (any spit-takes?): Elena forces Kathrine to take The Cure

This was one of the moments that I literally gasped aloud. Most of the time the foreshadowing on these shows is seen from miles away, but I honestly did not see this coming at all. Also, Kathrine was basically the LAST person who wanted that cure so it’s crazy that she was the one to end up taking it and turning human.

MOST BADASS MOMENT: Kathrine kisses Damon at the end of Season 1

Like I said before, she is the original BAD BITCH of the show (not an actual Original, but you know what I mean…) and this was an amazing entry for the character who would be, largely, the villain of the series. It played on the feelings that Damon is developing for Elena, it finally introduced the person who started it all for the Salvatores, and it showed us exactly who she is at her core, and that she isn’t sorry about it at all.

SERIES FINALE SATISFACTORY LEVEL (use no words, just gifs):

OVERALL MARKS OUT OF TEN (10 being this show has changed your life for the better, you happily rewatch the series over and over, and the show has made your life better in some way. 1 being this show gave you nothing but trust issues, a stomach ulcer, and high blood pressure, and you honestly do not know why you did this to yourself)

7 out of 10.

I look back on The Vampire Diaries with the kind of fondness that only comes from a bizarre mix of nostalgia and incredulity. When scenes from this series show up on my instagram feed or on my Youtube recommended page, an involuntary smile creeps across my face without me realizing. I could do without like half of the characters and some entire seasons were completely unnecessary to watch, but it gave me some of my very favorite characters and ships, and spawned an entire universe that I still enjoy to this day. This magical, crazy, beautiful world was a joy to experience, even when it made me want to beat my head against a wall at least once per season.

If you want to see the other ones I have made, here's the original post with links. x Hope you like these! (I say to probably no one...)

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #217

“roses are red, and my heart is black. we creep about the floor to indulge like rats.”

Do you know anyone who works in a laboratory? No. What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace. Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) Easily. If you were in a coma, who would be making healthcare decisions for you? My mom. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? Not entirely, but mostly. Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you had an allergic reaction to? Silver. Have you gone out to dinner in the past week? No. What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? The only thing I think someone would actually find "crazy" would be I've been in a psychiatric hospital five or six times (I seriously can't remember). Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Well, not by us. There's a camellia tree by our back door that we didn't plant. What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? I'unno. I generally don't find decorations strange. Spice up your house with what you like. Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? No. Do you know anyone who never disciplines their children? I know of people. What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? Weeks. Are you more of a practical thinker, or more of an imaginative thinker? I think I can be on either end depending on the situation. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does. How well do you know your neighbors? I've never interacted with the ones to the right of us, but Mom knows the woman to the left, and she's apparently very nice. Mom was talking about her just the other day about how she always brings our trash can back to the fence, actually. How far are you into the book you’re currently reading? N/A Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? I don't believe so, at least not permanently. Do any of your exes know each other? Jason and Juan did. Girt and Jason know each other because of me; we all hung out a few times. It's both funny and sad now to know how friendzoned Girt was... ha ha. Sorry man. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Dinosaurs didn't exist." What the fuck are fossils then, bitch. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't voted in any yet. Do you know how to make omelettes? No. I could probably figure it out, but I don't know for sure. What is your favorite summer month? Fuck summer. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? One of the witches from Hocus Pocus would be super cool, but yeah, I don't have the money to even try to make a costume. Do you have a desk in your room? If so, do you use it as a desk that you sit and work at? No. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? Yes. I love my Metallica one. It's got a really cool design. Would you ever want to live in a home with all-white walls and furniture? "Not white furniture, no. That seems like it’d be a pain to keep clean." <<< Definitely. Do you have pajama days often? I'm literally always in pjs unless I have to leave the house and get out of the car. There's no point in changing otherwise; I'd just be creating more laundry. What is one thing you’re behind on? Instead of the usual "life in general" answer, I'll make it more interesting. RP. Jesus fucking holy Christ, I am over a year behind in SO MUCH because I just haven't had motivation, all the while plots have grown like mad. Thank god my partners are really damn patient, lol. And/or have other business, too. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. I HATE moving/changing shit. Do you share a room with anyone? No. Who was your first roommate? Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frosting: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Ice cream: chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla. Milkshake: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, more often. Do you drink protein shakes? EW that shit mad gross. What was the last type of candy you ate? Uhhhh what was it. I don't have candy a lot now, so uh... I think Airheads? What was the last craft project you completed? It was VERY weakly a "craft," but Sara's first Valentine's Day present. Which is better: starting things or finishing them? Finishing. I start things all the damn time and never finish them. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Good question. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Hm. I liked a lot. We had a whole case of different ones. I suppose maybe the Spyro one I could never get far into. But I liked it anyway because yeah. Spyro. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? "The Call" probably tops the list, but also you're full of shit if you thought "Larger Than Life" wasn't a fuckin BANGER. Damn, "The Shape of My Heart" was great, too. BSB were/are just great, man. Did you ever wonder what it felt like to get slimed? Ha ha you mean like on Nickelodeon? Yup. Did you ever name a pet after an imaginary friend? I never had one. Do you believe in angels and demons? I don't know. I believe in spirits, but I don't know about actual angels and demons. Do you have a PayPal account? No. What race do you consider yourself? ... You can "consider" yourself a race? You don't get to pick that. Whatever, I'm Caucasian. Should unwanted animals in shelters be killed to make room? Fuck that shit. Should cows be killed for human food? See, this is why I want to return to vegetarianism. TECHNICALLY, no. It's murder upon a conscious, feeling, living being. But at the same time, humans are designed as omnivores, and surviving off of a plant-based diet is, sadly, extremely difficult. It's difficult to obtain the proper nutrients and their advised amounts to be healthy. Therefore, I can't confidently answer this question. I wish they didn't have to be, but human civilization would have an incredibly more difficult time continuing with all meat products removed for consumption. Does the technique used to kill an animal matter to you? I mean if I KNEW, yes, but at least from the research I've done, there's no real "humane" method used to kill livestock. Most live in awful conditions/are already unhealthy, too, and that should matter . Should farmers be allowed to cause suffering in animals to save money? Fuck off. Should production of medicines be justification to cause animals to suffer? No. We neeeeeeed to find other ways. Use pedophiles or some shit. Should violence against animals; such as rodeos/ bullfights be legal? Fuck to the hell no. I get some kind of dark pleasure out of hearing about shitheads being gored and stuff for it, honestly. Should homosexuals be allowed to work with children? This shit pisses me the fuck off. Of course they should be. Like I'm sorry, but your children aren't going to be hidden from them forever. Do you believe homosexuality is caused by genetics? Well yeah. You don't get to choose your sexuality; something has to be responsible. Are Americans are truly free, or suffering from controlled freedom? CONTROLLED FREEDOM JFC TRY TO DENY IT. Are there other countries that offer more personal freedoms? Not that I KNOW of. Like yeah, my above answer clearly states I think America could be better, but I don't know I place where it's actually better. Do you trust your government? Fuck no. They hide a lot of shit. Should religious beliefs outweigh science in the making of laws? Lolololololol no, hunny. Separation of church and state. What is one moment that you missed out on that you wished you didn’t? Hm. OH, that solar eclipse that happened I think last year? We saw nothing here. :< Do you or have you ever had braces? For a long time. Got them on, then didn't have the money to take them off for a while. Can you text? Yeah, but not quickly. I am - usually - very thankful for autocorrect. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you scared to death of? My mom dying, for one. I DO NOT know what would happen to me. Are you good at art? I'm told so at least; I'm aware I'm at least decent. It also depends on the art form. Are you afraid of needles? Nah. What TV show is the stupidest to you? I honestly had a really big problem (and have, if it's still even on) with the Teen Mom series. Yes, I do in fact believe it made looking like one cooler and more normal than it is. Do you hate being ignored? Yes; I start to think I'm not cared about, badly. Especially if it's family or "friends." Like no, I don't at all expect attention constantly, or even a lot of it, but I think it's only natural people who claim they love you should not pretend they don't know you, particularly when you actually reach out. THEN it hurts. Where do you currently live? North Carolina, please get me out. Do you like marijuana? I wouldn't know. Do you donate to charity? I can't. I seriously don't have money. Where is your favorite place to go out to eat? Olive Garden. What is your favorite TV station? Discovery. Do you think you’re clever? No. Did you wear socks today? No. I avoid wearing socks as much as I can. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember the ones I learned as a kid. Do you sleep well most nights? No. When’s the last time you baked a cake? Never. What’s your preferred frozen snack? Ice cream, yum. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? CLEAN. It inspires me to do well and with an organized strategy. Do you know any vegans? I don't believe so. Earphones or headphones? I personally prefer earphones since they go into the ear and are just more comfortable than a weight on your head that can move easier. Do you like bananas? Yeah, but the timespan in which I enjoy them is short. They have to be "perfect." What’s a film you’ve seen that confused you? I know there are some, but none are coming to me curr- WAIT NO okay so I saw Warcraft when it came out into theaters, and I barely understood a single thing because the orcs' voices were way too deep. I need to rewatch it with subtitles. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I pretty much always do if I wear lipstick. What would you change about yourself appearance-wise? HEY can I Please fix my fucking weight??? Because I do like everything I can do already & nothing works??? :') How long do you normally spend in the shower? Just short of ten minutes, I think. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? *opens novel of ideas* Don't make me pick just one. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? Tootsie rolls, ew. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? The time my mom, sisters, and I went to a Christmas light show one night, and we got back to the car only to realize Mom left the keys in there. Sooo while we waited for my drunk dad and brother to come help us, we all chilled on the car's hood with chocolate covered peanuts and THE best hot chocolate. That place is no longer around, and I'll forever be mad tilted about it. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Lmfao remember the days I denied evolution and gay rights? Them were the wild times. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? First, paleontologist because I adored (and still adore) dinosaurs, then a vet as I wanted to help animals. In high school, it changed from movie director to game designer. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. No one. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? Um like have y'all ever heard of this guy named Mark Edward Fischbach because I have time to enlighten you of all the reasons- What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? Pj pants, lmao. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? Steve Irwin. I adore animals in general, push very firmly for conservation, and madly support proper education of wildlife, especially your local kinds. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? I had a bike with training wheels at first, then my dad took them off and would jog alongside me, holding the bars and then releasing them after a few moments for me to go on my own. Repeated 'til I got it! Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? This is going to be VERY embarrassing to share, but fuck it. I have so little reason to leave my bed that my legs have actually experienced muscle atrophy. My knees especially are extremely prone to awful pain when standing or walking. I don't really have a way to exercise in this tiny house, my road is too sketchy to walk along, and at least this time of year, I physically can't handle the heat if I was to walk in the back yard. I'm dying to go somewhere where I can swim to fix this shit. I could ramble on forever about how painful it is to be on my feet. I'd be happy enough with even just a treadmill. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? Hm. I guess foreplay with a girl. I don't exactly experience new things much. What is your concept of a fruitful day? Actually doing productive shit. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Violence. What is your best personal characteristic? I am like, incredibly passionate. If I believe in something, you'll know. If I love something, it's to an insane degree. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? Being able to hide my thumb under my palm to where it looks like it's entirely non-existent lmao. What is your worst personality characteristic? I am VERY sensitive. I also have a hard time taking criticism without beating my ass up because I feel like I did something "bad." I don't get defensive, I just get hurt. Man, I could go on. There's a lot I don't like about myself. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? I'd be most interested in teaching science. How would you like to be remembered? I loved ferociously and spoke strong of peace. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? The future. Does your country have free healthcare? *points at top five list of things America needs to fucking fix* Does your job allow visible tattoos? N/A How is your road rage? I drive so timidly and rarely that I don't think I really even have a clue. Who are your closest friends and how did you meet them? I'll exclude Sara as she's more than "a close friend." I don't have many close friends otherwise tho, so really... I think only Girt applies. We met in high school band. Well, then there's Alex, but considering she now acts like I don't exist as well, I don't know how close we really are. But anyway, we met in WoW because we were both camping the time-lost protodrake and talking w/ others in the general chat... but she and I really clicked. That was an awesome day. Started some damn adventures with her lmao. Are you still cool with any of your exes? The only two who may still have a problem with me are Jason and Tyler, but I have no bad feelings towards them. What Hogwarts House are you in? I took quizzes once for a survey because I was curious, but I couldn't answer most of the ones I found bc they had HP references I didn't get. But anyway, I think Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were pretty much tied. What’s the next special event in your life? Returning to school. :') Whose birthday is coming up soon? My nephew's. :''''') Do you delete people from Facebook if their views are vastly different than yours? It depends on the views and their severity. Usually I can handle averse opinions if you're actually a friendly person and composed and mature about what you believe and how you express that. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Cream cheese. What’s the most important key on your key ring? I only have one, and that's to my house. What was the last argument you got in about and who was it with? AHAHAHAAHAHA okay so. There was a video on FB of a pet meerkat having its belly rubbed, and it was chirping happily. It was very cute, but especially because this video was on a big page, I commented how awful and unhealthy of an idea it is to have a pet meerkat for both it and yourself. It's illegal in a lot of places for good reason. I got a lot of agreement, but of course there was one imbecile who disagreed enough to tell me to shut the fuck up. Now I am normally very, very terrified of confrontation or even the HINT of it, but for once in my life I couldn't have been more unfazed. At what age did you start picking out your own outfits? I don't know. I've come to find via surveys that I can't really remember events by ages. How spicy do you like your food? Pretty spicy. Spicier than most like, but I don't enjoy it when it's just pure pain. What was the last really intense pain you felt? You know that awwwfuuuulll pinch of pain you sometimes get in your ribs when your lungs expand to a certain, small amount? That. I couldn't take deep breaths for anything. What is the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Recovery from the breakup. What are three things you have been a victim of? Uhhhh. Idk, nothing major. What is your passion? Wildlife conservation, probably more than anything. When was the last time you truly felt alive? Ha, good question. How many siblings do you have? Technically six, but I don't know one at all. Are you married? No. Are you dating someone? Yeah. If not, do you wish you were dating someone? N/A Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? I'm not sure. What states (or countries) have you lived in? Just one. Does your first crush know you liked them? No. Do you wish on stars? Nope. Are you happier now than you were 10 years ago? I don't know. I can't really remember exactly what I was like at 13. I think I'm maybe happier now? Are you happier now than you were 5 years ago? Yes. ^If not, why not? N/A ^If yes, why? My depression is under control. Do you live in your dream house? Definitely not. What was your first job? Sales clerk at GameStop. ^Did you like it? No, thanks to feral social anxiety. Have you been bullied? No, very thankfully. What do you wish people knew about you? I sincerely care about my loved ones, a lot, even though I have trouble being the one to reach out first. What health issues do you have? A lot. Don't even feel like putting them all together. Do you still cross paths with your first crush ever? No. What is your favorite Bible verse, and why? None. Do you have a secret nobody knows? Yes. It's nothing major, just little things I don't want to share. Who are some of the most selfish people you have ever met? I don't know. Is there anyone you want back in your life? Yes. What color was the house you grew up in? True shit, I somehow don't remember for sure. I think it was brick? What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Charcoal, a cat, was the first pet I had a serious, deep bond with. Do you receive more insults or compliments? Compliments, I guess. Do you meditate? No. Do you pray? No. Have you ever seen a spirit/ghost/shadowy figure, etc.? I've sure as hell seen something. What would you ask a genie for, if you had three wishes? World peace, end of disease, and the end of poverty. When someone messages you and you know it’s going to be rude, do you ignore it and not read it, or do you read it and reply? Honestly, most of the time, I ignore it. I am so, SO sensitive, so my feelings are super easily hurt by what others have to say. Do you find online drama stressful? Yes. Even more than irl drama because you have to wait painstakingly for them to reply, and you can't hear their tone of voice. How stressful is your life? I'm pretty damn stressed for someone who's trapped inside their house lmao. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. Do you do yoga? No. What is something you have tried and hated? Oral is NOT my jazz. Do you have regrets? Yeah. Are you mad at someone? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't have a calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Technically Donald. Do you have an ex-friend that you miss? Yep. What color do you want your wedding dress to be? Most likely black. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Pancakes. I like them more in general, and I'm also suuuper picky with steak. What’s your favorite Ramen noodle flavor? The only kind I've ever liked is the Yakisoba brand of spicy chicken. How do you feel when you read the Bible, if you read it? Encouraged? Angry? I don’t read it. Have you ever suffered from anxiety? I had some anxieties as a little kid, and I was officially diagnosed with it in the 6th grade. Have you ever suffered from depression? Since the 7th grade. What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Pie is what came to mind first. What’s an uplifting song you like to listen to? "High Hopes" by P!ATD. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? Well, he was my first real love. They're always special. I was fucking crazy for him, and it grew to an unhealthy degree. Trust me, you can love too much. He made me happy when so few could back then, and we had a connection unprecedented in my whole life. He himself felt like my home. I could write you a goddamn novel on why I felt so strongly. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? No. Quite honestly, I'd tell them. I could NOT keep that a secret. Whether they believe me or not, I'm not withholding that from them. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I know this technically sounds bad, but Sara and I started dating the day after I broke up with him. One of the reasons we split is because I realized I liked her. It was so quick because I never had to "move on;" I never came to be truly interested in him romantically. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? Sara and I were texting, but I don't remember about what. When are you at your happiest? When I'm with Sara. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. I don't really remember if I ever kissed Girt. How many of those people are you still friends with? Two. Where did you go, the last time you left your house? Mom and I went to multiple places. She had errands to run. Do you like your singing voice? Rarely. I think it fits only a few songs. Are most silences awkward for you? UH-HUH UH-HUH. Name someone you wish you had never met. Why? Jabari. He was scary and almost assaulted someone in my family. Who has the nicest singing voice, that you know personally? Probably Sara. Say something nice about someone you really don’t care for: He loves his kids to death. Ever won school awards? Yes. Do you drink more soda than anything else? Not anymore, thankfully. Do you curse a lot? I curse possibly more than anyone you know. Have you ever been in a courtroom? Yes. Do you eat a lot around Thanksgiving? No. I actually don't like 99% of Thanksgiving food. Were you a chubby child? No. Are you afraid to sing in front of people? Yes. Do you enjoy your family? Yeah. When did you last dance with someone? I forced Sara to last June lmao. Do you feel awkward watching sex scenes? VERY. Did you ever have senior photos done? No. Are your parents protective of you? Mom is for sure. I don't see my father much, and he's changed a LOT since the divorce, so I can't really answer for him. I know he is to some degree, I just don't know how much. Have you ever been bullied? I've had some mean shit said to me, but I don't believe I've ever really been consistently "bullied." Do you ever help decorate during the holidays? No. I just don't have the motivation and don't really care enough to put things up that're only coming down in two months. Do you have carpeted floors? Only my room and my sis's old one. Can you count to ten in another language? German, yeah. Have you ever been arrested? No. Do you always lock your door at night? Yeah. Do you get allowance? No, never did. Do you have a Facebook? Yes. Do you enjoy the presence of children? In most cases, no.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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gukyi · 6 years

Text

tutor | knj

⇒ summary: competition has always been a thing at hogwarts, but not even the house ghosts could be prepared for the volcanic explosion otherwise known as the culmination of the rivalry between you and fellow top student kim namjoon.

⇒ {hogwarts!au, enemies to lovers!au (what a shocker!)}

⇒ pairing: namjoon x female reader

⇒ word count: 11k

⇒ genre: fluff and like a very very little bit of angst? actually i don’t even think it counts. just fluff.

⇒ warnings: n/a

⇒ a/n: she’s back! it’s been actual months since i last posted part of my sorted series, rip. unsurprisingly, this is an enemies to lovers au. bc i can never stop writing them. i’m sorry that i’m not sorry. i actually have another e2l jimin au in mind. great. this is just a little twist on the typical tutor au! hope u enjoy!!

Present

Third year you would never even think about fighting Kim Namjoon. Small, lanky Kim Namjoon whose glasses are too big for his face and whose words stumble over each other.

Seventh year you can’t think about doing anything else. He makes you want to chuck a big, heavy textbook at him, one from the Restricted section that’ll bite his head right off after it hits him.

Maybe then you’ll finally get some relief from his obnoxious, egotistical, infuriating presence. But for now, you’re stuck with him, stuck in this endless fucking cycle of taunting and teasing and gloating, back and forth and back and forth, because neither of you can do anything that can risk the two of you getting expelled. Gotta love being top students with their whole potentials in front of them.

“Hey, Y/N,” his snarky voice catches your attention as he spots you working diligently in the Great Hall after school hours. You know it’s him without even looking up from your textbook, can hear the thundering footsteps of him and whatever members of his gregarious possy, but you refuse to give him the time of day like this. Namjoon always has a fantastic way of interrupting your lifestyle at the exact moment when you could do with zero distractions. “How’d you do on that essay for Binns?”

Keeping your head down, you continue to furiously scribble your notes, avoiding him at all costs, not wanting to let him have what he wants: your response. Namjoon wouldn’t be asking you about your most recent History of Magic essay unless he knew something you didn’t, had some sort of leverage on you that he gets to dangle above your head.

“Shove off, Kim,” you grumble, turning your head in the opposite direction as you feel him looming over you, leaning down by your side to boast in your face.

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” he coaxes. “Won’t kill you just to say it.”

“A 97, alright, asshole? Satisfied?” You spit out, sick of Namjoon’s shit and his better grades and charming life. The Binns essay hadn’t been your best work, you’re aware of that much, especially considering you had written it while running on minimal sleep and the ever-persistent pressures of future aspirations. You know. The usual. No need for Namjoon to brag about his probable 100 in your face. You know you can do better. You have.

“Very,” Namjoon grins, shooting you his precious face with his precious dimples. God, how you wish you could smack them right off of his face and watch them fall to the floor, useless. “Especially after getting a 103 on mine.”

Namjoon even whips out the scroll to show you, as if you need further proof that he got a higher grade, bright red 103 and a smiley face right next to it at the top of his essay, staring back at you like a reflection in a broken mirror. You didn’t even know Binns gave extra credit, the fuck? You want in on some of that. You’re second in that class only to Namjoon.

“How on Earth did you manage to trick your way into Binns giving you extra credit?” You ask, appalled and personally insulted. “You don’t deserve those extra three points any more than I do.”

“Hey, maybe if you had gotten those three points instead of me, you’d actually have a chance at beating me in that class,” Namjoon singsongs, taunting you with no qualms. He never seems to have any of those whenever he’s around you. It’s a poor characteristic to have, quite frankly. He should work on that.

“Bask in that perfect score in History of Magic, Namjoon, a class that has so much relevance to current events,” you sneer back, not permitting yourself to lose to him, cave in. Even if survival meant giving up your last shred of dignity on this godforsaken Earth to him, you’d choose to die. “Really. It’s outstanding. My 100 in Transfiguration is shaking in its boots.”

“Never said this was a competition, Miss Y/N. No need to be bitter about our scores,” Namjoon says patronizingly, patting your shoulder like he’s fucking reassuring you of your self-worth after finding out that you got a slightly lower score than him on an essay. What a tool. “See you in Potions, hey? Don’t wait up.”

“Wouldn’t fucking dream of it,” you respond, heaving a sigh as you roll your eyes, turning back to your work as Namjoon and his crew’s boisterous laughter echoes throughout the Great Hall as they leave to go play practical jokes on the ghosts or make a mess in the fairgrounds or chuck Quidditch balls at each other, or something like that.

But still, even as you finish up your note-taking for the chapter and move on to another assignment from your Astronomy professor, that bright red 103 flashes in your mind, brain stuck on it because god damnit, can’t Namjoon just give you one fucking break? Does he want a fucking prize for getting a better grade than you on a single essay throughout your entire Hogwarts career?

Scratch that. He’s already got his reward, and it’s your misery.

Life goes on, but time ticks by ever so slowly as you count down the days until graduation—until you never have to see Kim Namjoon’s face in your life ever again—that even a Time Turner would move too quickly.

Fourth Year

When McGonagall hands back your tests from the day prior and you see a shining 100% at the top of your paper, you smile. Your eager eyes scan the papers of your classmates, quickly glancing down at the red ink scrawled at the top of your page, and find that you’re the only perfect score within your view.

If this had happened during first year, you’d shrug it off, call it a fluke and just assume that you knew this single topic better than the rest of your peers, you suppose, but it’s not. You’re in your fourth year already, over three years worth of Transfiguration classes under your belt, and any student in your class would be an idiot not to realize your untapped potential in the subject. School has always come easy to you but Transfiguration in and of itself is like second nature. Like a key in a padlock, it clicks.

Humble as ever, you treat your 100% casually, like it’s no big deal, because it’s not. Not when you’ve been getting 100’s in the class ever since September 2nd of your first year with minimal battle. Another day, another test, another one hundred.

“Y/N,” your friend says as she nudges your arm, resting on the desk. You snap out of your distant haze and turn to her, eyebrow raised. “Can you explain number three to me? I don’t understand it.”

“Sure,” you say, happy to help. One thing that comes along with perfect grades (whether you like it or not) is people constantly asking you for explanations, answers, definitions, seeking the right from someone who’s never wrong. Not that you’re complaining. You love to help people. “What’s up?”

“I don’t understand the theory behind the cross-species switches,” your friend continues, scratching her head and furrowing her brows as she shows you her assessment, a big red X marking number three. “Like, I understand that the spells have to be adapted, but I don’t understand how to do that.”

You glance down at her paper before quickly letting your eyes scan over your own, comparing answers as you figure out how to explain the necessity of adaptation in cross-species switches to her without sounding like a pretentious asshole. “Well, you have to consider the scenario.”

Your friend looks at you like you’ve just grown four heads.

“Um, say… say you’re trying to give a mouse cat-like qualities,” you begin, going back to one of the example scenarios that McGonagall gave you a week or so ago. “You have to adapt the spell so you don’t screw up any of the mouse’s internal organs and kill it in the process. Or even leave it stuck in the weird in-between of mouse and mouse-cat. So how are you supposed to cater to the mouse?”

“You lower the spell’s impact since the mouse is smaller than the cat?” Your friend asks, wincing and unsure.

You snap your fingers, letting them morph quickly into some finger guns as you smile. “You got it.”

“Oh,” your friend realizes, that sweet, sweet look of recognition finally washing over her face. “Oh, I get it now. Okay. Thanks.”

“No problem,” you say happily, shrugging your shoulders. “I’m always happy to help you.”

Your friend beams in response, pleased that she’s got such a loyal pal like you to always assist with tests and quizzes and homework questions whenever needed.

It’s right then that McGonagall clears her throat to grab everyone’s utmost attention, standing up behind her desk to address the class. You turn back to face her, letting your eyes scan over all of the trinkets on her desk. You swear you see a Time Turner shining in a little box as it catches the light of the sun, but maybe that’s just your imagination. Time Turners are awfully difficult to get ahold of, these days.

“I trust that all of you had enough time to review your answers on the test and assess your mistakes,” she says sternly. Ah, your favorite no-nonsense teacher. “Some of you need not worry about this section on the theory,” she says, and your cheeks heat up when she narrows her eyes at you through her rounded glasses, curling in on yourself as other people turn to look at you, unsurprised. “And some of you need to start reviewing more and paying attention to the lessons in class. Your overall class average for this assessment was abysmal. I highly recommend seeking out extra help, either from myself or from your peers, some of which could teach you this subject very well. Most of you could use the assistance.”

The bell rings.

“Class dismissed. Miss Y/L/N, come here for a moment?”

Your friend shrugs helplessly as she gathers her stuff and leaves the room, sending you a sorry smile as you approach McGonagall’s desk with caution, unsure of what she wants from you. You haven’t done anything wrong, as far as you’re aware, and you know for a fact that she isn’t concerned about whether or not you’re grasping the curriculum, so what gives?

“Professor?” You ask, turning back to see the class empty.

“You did remarkably well on this test,” she compliments, lips curling upwards into a smile. “My only perfect score.”

Your cheeks heat up again and you can feel your ears getting clammy. Even if you’re used to doing well in her class, it’s always an honor to hear her directly praising you. Really helps with the constant desire for validation as a student.

“Thank you, Professor,” you say, tipping your head slightly.

“I do hope that you’ll consider becoming a tutor for your peers,” she says as she shuffles through her papers. “I believe you’d be a fantastic help to some of the students who are struggling in this course. I saw you help your friend. You teach very well.”

You stumble over your words. “Oh, um, that was just—”

“Consider being a tutor, Y/N. Not just for this subject, but for all of them. You are an incredibly gifted individual and your help is probably much-needed around here. I could help you arrange a schedule of sorts, if you’d like. Perhaps talk to Madam Pince?”

“I don’t know, Professor, I don’t think I’m very qualified to teach other students, I mean—” You say, wracking your brain for something to say. Tutoring at Hogwarts is a big deal, honestly, especially because the courses are so vigorous and require more than just a simple explanation to comprehend. You don’t think you have the credentials to be something of an assistant to your professors.

“You are more than qualified, Miss Y/L/N. I’m willing to give you a bit of extra credit as well, for your work outside of class,” McGonagall says, and damn, she’s good. Extra credit will always get you on board. Even if you don’t need the extra points (not with your perfect grade in her class), it’s always nice to have that backup just in case you majorly screw up a test or essay or presentation. Plus, boasting about your over-100 grades every now and then to people who bother you is kind of nice. Just a little.

“When would I do it?” You ask, suddenly more intrigued in the topic.

McGonagall beams to herself, happy to see that she’s managed to bribe you into doing this, and whips out a spare scroll, scribbling down schedules and suggestions.

When she’s finished, you’re twenty minutes late to your next class (Arithmancy, so it’s not like you’re missing anything important) and have a pretty substantial list of students and faculty to speak to, as well as a thoroughly organized schedule for the next month, at least.

Your first tutoring session begins tomorrow, right after your last class at 3PM sharp in the library.

Extra credit has never tasted so sweet.

The library is always busy the second classes let out. Nobody really wants to go back to their common rooms just yet, wanting the milk the time before curfew as much as possible away from their dorms. People scramble to grab a seat at the limited amount of desks among the bookcases before some other upperclassman hexes it to claim it as theirs for the night, but you’re in no rush. Pince knows that you’re coming.

You push open the door to the library with your shoulder, scanning for the first student you’ll be tutoring, a boy from your own Transfiguration class who apparently did poorly on the most recent test. As you do, you quickly glance at the bulletin board on the wall, glowing flyers screaming at you to sign up for the latest club, try out for the Quidditch team (even though first years never make the house team), audition for the frog choir. There’s one that has no slips of paper left to tear off, but you don’t have time to inspect it any further, wonder what on Earth could be going on at this school that so many people would be desperate to sign up for, before you have to begin the session.

The boy is loitering around by the checkout desk, books clutched tightly to his chest as you catch his eye. You reach your arm out and wave, signaling to him that you’re here.

“I, um,” you begin. “This is the first time I’ve done this, so I’m really sorry if this is kind of rough.”

The kid shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’m desperate at this point. McGonagall will have my head if I fail the next test.”

You chuckle awkwardly, unable to relate but able to sympathize. “Then we should get started soon, right?”

You and the boy start to weave your way through the bookshelves, skirting through small groups of students gathering in the library to quietly gossip and books marching around by themselves, ordered to go back to their designated spot.

“McGonagall helped me set this up, actually,” you say in order to fill in the silence. “She had arranged with other teachers to coordinate and talked to Madam Pince about me formally doing this in the library, and—”

Your shoes squeak against the hardwood floor as you come to a stop in the table that McGonagall had specifically reserved for you for your tutoring, making all of the students around you wince as they turn towards the source of the noise. There’s a boy you vaguely recognize already camped out at your table, and what makes matters impossibly worse is that it looks like he’s tutoring someone too.

“Can I help you?” the boy asks as he looks up at your flabbergasted expression, a single eyebrow raised in annoyance.

“Um,” you start, unsure of how you’re supposed to deal with the situation at hand. Before you can stop yourself, you belt out a “Who are you?”

“Kim Namjoon,” the boy replies, frowning as he peers over his glasses to inspect you. He doesn’t seem very impressed, which in turn has you puffing out your chest slightly and straightening your posture. “Fourth year.”

“Well, Kim Namjoon, I—”

“Who are you?” Namjoon asks, interrupting you.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you respond, as confidently as you can muster.

“Is there a reason you’re hovering over my tutoring session, Y/N Y/L/N? If you need help with your schoolwork, you’re going to have to arrange something with me,” Namjoon says ever so rudely, making you furrow your brows in distaste.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m quite busy these days, so if you need me to tutor you in anything, you’ll have to schedule it beforehand. My apologies,” Namjoon says, clearly hoping to end the conversation and get back to whatever the hell he thinks he’s doing in your designated spot.

“I don’t need your help in anything,” you inform him matter-of-factly. “Though I do believe that you’re tutoring in my spot.”

“Your spot?” Namjoon asks, standing up with his palms pressed onto the table, doubtful look on his face. “What makes you think this table belongs to you? I don’t see your name on it.”

You’re speechless, mouth working desperately to say something in response, put whoever this kid thinks he is in his place. “Professor McGonagall had arranged that I tutor students here.”

“Sorry, Y/L/N, but you’ll have to find another spot,” Namjoon says, shrugging helplessly despite your wordless protests. “Maybe some other time.”

You can do nothing except turn to the boy standing behind you, whose eyes are wide in confusion, and smile apologetically. You glare Kim Namjoon’s way, bitter and petty and everything else a Ravenclaw should always be, and begin to search for a new place to tutor.

Kim Namjoon is someone you barely remember, left with only hazy memories of him at the sorting ceremony and perhaps in one or two of your classes during your time at Hogwarts. He’s a quiet kid, easy to overlook and disregard, because he never speaks, never raises his hand, never even looks up at people. You don’t know much about him, but you had always assumed him another harmless student who’s just letting their time at Hogwarts pass before they move onto bigger and better things.

Apparently, you were wrong.

Because now, quiet, geeky, timid Kim Namjoon has some sort of superiority complex ingrained in his mind, and it’s more than clear to you that you’ve got some competition, a sensation you’ve never had the luxury of experiencing before.

You and the boy end up camping out on the floor of the library by one of the windows, unable to find an empty table for you to do your work on. It’s out of view of whoever Kim Namjoon is and whatever he’s doing, but the only image that seems to stick in your mind as you teach this kid the theory behind cross-species switches and help him with his textbook reading is that of Namjoon’s unimpressed, judgemental face as he stares you down with his hands pressing down on your table, taking up your precious time with this stupid tutoring nonsense of his.

McGonagall never mentioned anything about another student. Especially one that’s already developed an obvious dislike for you. Not that it’s not reciprocated, or anything. Because it is.

Because this means war.

Present

As you enter the library, you quickly hex the poster on the bulletin board advertising Namjoon’s nonsense tutoring business and changing it to a picture of a couple of bright orange Kneazles, his least favorite animal. Just for good measure. You always knew Transfiguration would come in handy.

This isn’t the first time you’ve definitely tried to sabotage Namjoon’s tutoring… thing. It’s only one aspect of this ridiculously overgrown rivalry that’s settled in between the two of you. Neither of you happen to be Slytherins, but you have no problems spreading rumors and ruining each other’s posters in order to beat each other out. You don’t know how many times you’ve had to restore your posters and flyers to their original glory after seeing Namjoon deface all of them. All’s fair in love and war, except there’s no love here. It’s just war.

“Hey,” you say as you greet your tutoree of the day, a friend of a friend of yours who’s been lacking in Potions recently. She’s one of your most loyal students, not to mention the fact that the two of you both seem to share quite the dislike for a certain Kim Namjoon, making your sessions half-education parties and half-gossip fests. “Ready?”

She nods happily, and the two of you scramble to grab the last empty table before Namjoon can snatch it for himself with taunting grin on his face as he forces you elsewhere. It’s open, thank God, and you quickly take your seats so you can get down to business.

“What work do you have?” You ask, pulling out your Potions textbook and a quill.

“Uh, just some chemical problems. I have a really big Potions project that’s due next Friday, though, so I’d like to work on that, too,” she responds.

“Which you haven’t started yet, right?” You ask, an eyebrow raised.

She blushes. “You know me too well, Y/N.”

“Only because we’ve been friends for two years, already,” you shrug, taking a quick glance at her homework so you can open your textbook to some example problems that match up with the lesson.

“Listen,” she says in a much softer voice, leaning over the table to whisper in your ear. “My friend just had this awful experience with Namjoon.”

You can’t say you’re particularly surprised. You could probably count on one hand the amount of experiences that you’ve had with Namjoon that have even been somewhat bearable. “What happened?”

“You know how my friend writes in her journal, right? She’s the only kid in our year that still does.”

The girl in question rings a bell in your brain. She never lets anybody look into her journal, for obvious reasons.

“Yeah, she and that Min Yoongi kid both do,” you say, thinking of that quiet Slytherin boy you sometimes see hanging out with Namjoon and the rest of his boisterous gaggle. Every time you see them together, you wonder what on Earth could have led the universe to make them friends, because Min Yoongi seems so nice and reserved and Namjoon… well.

“Well, the other day—” the girl says as you begin to copy down the first homework problem, the answer already clear in your mind. Mental math is your best friend. That, and McGonagall. “—she spilled tea or something all over her journal and she had to lay it out on a bunch of copies of the Daily Prophet to let it dry. And then Kim just waltzes over and reads the damn thing.”

The story has you rolling your eyes in disappointment. It’s not even shocking that Namjoon has no concept of personal space nor personal belongings. After all, he’s spent the past three years vandalizing your property and breathing down your neck. But still, snooping in someone else’s private journal is rude, uncouth, and generally frowned upon. Not that Namjoon is any good at not being any of those things.

“I wish I could tell you that I’m surprised,” you say, shaking your head. “He’s always been like that.”

“Always been like what?”

You almost don’t even want to turn around to face the source of the voice, already knowing damn well who it is and why he’s there. You should have been trash talking him louder.

“We’re a little busy here, Kim,” your friend says, clearly not any happier than you in his presence.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Namjoon responds, catching a glimpse of the blank parchment in front of you, only the first problem written down, not even solved. “Should have signed up for my tutoring program, Mina. I would have had your homework done by now.”

“Because you do their work for them and they don’t learn anything,” you spit as you barge into the conversation. “You wanna know what you’ve always been like, Kim?” You ask, standing up to challenge him. Namjoon’s taller than you, always has been and always will be, but that doesn’t mean he’s any more intimidating.

“Hmm,” Namjoon says, looking up to ponder the question at hand. “Charming? Bright? Smarter than you?”

“An asshole,” you bite.

“That wasn’t anywhere near my top ten, Y/N. Your guessing game is really weak. Like you,” Namjoon comments, lips downturned.

Your hands are already curled into balls before the words leave his mouth. “You wanna see weak, Kim?” You ask, fists raised and your right hand shooting towards his chest.

Namjoon grabs it without a second thought, holding you dead in place with his hand wrapped around your knuckles, pale in anger, and he shakes his head disapprovingly. “Weak,” he whispers, staring you straight in the face. You’re shaking with fury and rage, refusing to bow down to his unforgiving gaze as you look right back into his brown eyes, twinkling with victory.

Mina places gentle hands on your upper arms, calming you down slightly as you take deep breaths, refusing to stoop any lower than you already have. By this point, any fucking dignity you have left is gone and it doesn’t even matter, because you’re a lot of things, but being ashamed of hating Namjoon isn’t one of them.

“Hope you finish your homework soon, Mina, or I might have to ask Snape tomorrow if he can double the workload, just because I don’t think that some of the kids in our class are truly grasping the lesson,” Namjoon bids the two of you goodbye, voice sickeningly sweet as he turns on his heel to leave the library. On the way out, you catch him Transfigure his poster back to its original state as the door closes behind him.

“Fucking Kim,” you mutter, body still on fire from the exchange. “I wish I could punch that fucker in the face.”

“The day we graduate, I know you will,” Mina assures you, rubbing your back as she turns her focus to the textbook problems in front of her.

You wonder what celestial body in the mass known as the universe decided to make KIm Namjoon the bane of your existence, this constant presence that you can’t get rid of, like a gnat buzzing around your head on a hot summer day. Namjoon’s no better than a damn horsefly, only every waking moment of yours is spent thinking about him, every day is a new challenge to beat him in.

There’s never a second when Kim Namjoon isn’t on your mind, and perhaps that’s the worst part of it all.

Because no matter how hard you try to get him to leave, he’ll always come back.

Fourth Year

You get over the table fiasco the day after it happens. Even though you definitely were taken aback by Kim Namjoon’s impudent behavior, you suppose it’s something you can look past if the two of you can just come to some sort of agreement and get on with your lives. No need to hold this massive grudge over a misunderstanding.

After asking around, you hear a few things about Kim Namjoon. You hear he’s good friends with that one boy who’s already in his sixth year, the good-looking one that’s most definitely going to be head boy next year. You hear that he’s also friends with some kids in the year below you, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, one of whom is a beast at Quidditch. He’s buddies with the Herbology whiz in your grade, the one that bounces around like there’s this constant flow of sunshine running through his veins. He even knows one of the first years, a kid you’ve never heard of but everyone else has.

Kim Namjoon is apparently friends with everybody in the school, you gather as you keep hearing things about him. Nobody knew who he was last year, but this year, everybody does, and you wonder what’s changed. What turned him from wallflower to center stage?

The problem with looking past the table incident, is that you don’t expect it to happen again. Too lazy to talk with McGonagall about arranging something different, you let it go and assume that Namjoon won’t be there the next day, and that you can tutor in peace. As suspicious as the boy is, you give him the benefit of the doubt and just hope that he won’t bother you again.

But you’re wrong.

Because the second you walk into the library you notice a flyer advertising his tutoring skills tacked right on top of yours, blocking every word on your poster from view. And with a quick turn of your head, you spot him settling down at the table. Your table. He’s smiling to himself as he chats casually with the girl across from him, who’s tugging her textbook from her bag.

The girl you’re supposed to meet up with isn’t here yet, which gives you plenty of time to either: think this whole thing through and act calm and composed as you politely ask Namjoon for the table, or storm up to him and tell him that you have every right under the sun to use this table, especially after yesterday. And, as good of a student as you are, your communication skills have always been a bit lacking.

“I’m pretty sure I get to use this table today,” you say, not really caring about what conversation you’re interrupting as you march up to Namjoon, scowl on your face.

“Ugh, it’s you again,” Namjoon says, frowning as he turns to look up at you, and honestly, how on Earth did this boy manage to befriend half of the student body? “Excuse me, for just one moment,” he says as he looks at the girl in front of him apologetically. “Can I help you with something, Y/N?”

“Could you go find somewhere else to tutor? Anywhere else?” You ask, eyes wide. “Because you were here yesterday, and I need this table to tutor my own students.”

“What, angry that you didn’t get here early enough?” Namjoon asks, pouting as he looks at you, patronizing and enraging. “That’s not my fault.”

“Can we work out some kind of schedule, or something? I don’t understand what’s so difficult about us compromising,” you say, rolling your eyes, already tired of this conversation.

“I thought you were supposed to be intelligent, Y/N,” Namjoon tsks, shaking his head. “But it’s clear that you can’t see why, so I guess I’ll have to spell it out for you.”

Your mouth drops open.

“You’re competition, Y/N,” Namjoon says, leaning over with his face barely an inch away from yours. Your eyes are stark wide as they stare into his, face frozen without a word on your tongue, nothing to get out in response. “And I don’t take kindly to competition, so you better step up your game if you want any shot at beating me.”

“I don’t want to play this game of yours,” you insist, but Namjoon just shrugs helplessly, sitting back down and turning his attention to the girl in front of him. You heave out a breath, appalled, offended, and seeking revenge. Maybe you told Namjoon that competition isn’t for you, but when you’re up against a grade A asshole and your entire reputation is at stake, well… let the games begin.

You see the girl you’re supposed to tutor as you march out of the library, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor as you figure out what the hell you’re supposed to do next, because you can’t bear another floor session and Namjoon’s taunting. With a final turn back to the table that’s apparently no longer yours, glaring down Namjoon’s back with a scowl scrawled all over your face, you meet up with the girl and force out a smile.

“This place is too crowded,” you fib. “Let’s go to the Great Hall, instead. There’s more space there.”

Kim Namjoon deems you not only competition inside the library, but also outside of it, after a double Charms class between the fourth-year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. You didn’t even realize how many classes you actually shared with him until he became an unwelcome presence in your life, but now that you do, it seems that he’s always hot on your tail.

Charms is another one of those subjects that you could probably safely call “a walk in the park”, mostly because nothing in that class is ever difficult or particularly mind-boggling. You are positive that you’ve definitely fallen asleep in the class before, and you still have a perfect grade so hey, what does it matter?

It matters when the entire class is dedicated to perfecting the Summoning Charm, a spell you mastered the second time you ever uttered the words, and right out from under you, your quill is snatched away from you as you’re finishing up your Arithmancy homework for the next two days. It’s tugged right from your hand, and you barely have time to react to its rapid disappearance before you hear a familiar laugh.

From across the classroom, Kim Namjoon is sitting, grinning wildly with a devious smirk on his face, your quill dangling from his fingers. You know you can’t go up and get the damn thing and disrupt the whole class, but luckily for you, you know another way to get your quill back.

“Accio,” you cast with your wand pointed directly at the quill in question, lips curling up into a smile as you watch it break free from Namjoon’s grasp and fly right back to you.

The best part about this? Flitwick sees.

“Did you catch that, class?” He chirps happily as he beams up at you from the stack of books he stands on. “Miss Y/L/N did it! Wonderful job, Miss Y/L/N! Five points to Ravenclaw for your perfect pronunciation and strong wand movement. Did you see it? The quill flew right to her! That’s how the Summoning Charm should be performed.”

You feel your cheeks heating up as everyone turns to stare at you, some in pride and some in envy, but the innocent smile on your face soon morphs into that of sweet, sweet victory as you turn to meet Namjoon’s eyes. He’s got a smirk on his face, almost as if to say, “Smart move” as he nods slowly to himself.

Before you know it, your quill is back in his hands as he grins proudly, twirling it between his thumb and pointer fingers.

“Mr. Kim! You too!” Flitwick declares cheerfully. “Excellent form, excellent, excellent. Five points to Gryffindor for your fantastic job, as well. Students! Watch Miss Y/L/N and Mr. Kim, as they know extremely well how the Summoning Charm is to be cast.”

It’s a good move. Almost too good, if you think about it, but playing games on your own is no fun. The more, the merrier.

“Accio,” you say back, bringing your quill back to you. Hardly a second has passed before it’s back in Namjoon’s hands.

The two of you go back and forth like this, friendly fire across the room, much to Flitwick’s delight, both of you unable to let this go. Your smirks grow wider as you cast the charm over and over like it’s nobody’s business, completely outshining the rest of the class with your little battle, only one of the war. By the end of the period, you don’t know how many times you’ve said the word “Accio,” but it’s enough for each letter to have carved a space on your tongue as you happily grin down at the quill in your hand.

Flitwick stops the both of you when class is over, keeping you back from your next lesson to do nothing but shower praise.

“You two are the brightest students I’ve seen in a very long time,” he informs you with glee. “Your performances today were outstanding. I’ve never seen two people so engaged in a lesson before.”

You and Namjoon look at each other, stuffing down your scowls and replacing them with fake smiles instead.

“I should hope that every day will be like this,” Flitwick says. “You both are dismissed.”

“Think you got the best of me, hey, Y/N?” Namjoon asks on the way out, devilish grin on his face as he looks at you. “Finally managed to beat me?”

“You’ll never admit it,” you retort back.

“That I won’t,” Namjoon nods in assurance. “But we’ll see who has the last laugh.”

“What’s the last laugh supposed to mean when you could have the last word instead?” You challenge, stopped dead in the middle of the hallway as you stare at each other, each with untrustworthy smiles on your faces. Like this, Namjoon actually looks like someone whose company you might have enjoyed. Like this, there’s a little voice in the back of your brain that whispers promises of friendship, or at least, acquaintance-ship. But you shake those thoughts out of your mind, nearly scoffing aloud at the very idea of the two of you being anything less than mortal enemies.

Kim Namjoon leans in close, and he murmurs into your ear, “Better pick your words wisely, then, Miss Y/N.”

With that, he’s gone, and when you take a seat in Defense Against the Dark Arts and fish through your bag for a writing utensil, you find yourself quill-less. Almost as if on cue, Namjoon’s laughter rings through your ears.

God damnit.

Present

Visiting Hogsmeade is always your favorite part of the year. Always. Time away from schoolwork, from pressing teachers, and your very favorite, time away from Kim Namjoon’s obnoxiously omnipresent existence. You had calculated it two years ago—the odds of you seeing Namjoon on any given day at Hogsmeade is roughly 1 in 4258, a meager 0.023% of you even having to catch a glimpse of the boy. It’s the most satisfying basic arithmetic you’ve ever done. Nothing says sweet weekend vacation like the promise that you don’t have to lay your eyes on your one and only nemesis while there.

Hogsmeade is the one place where you can let your worries run free, scurry off into nothingness as you take in the scent of snow, butterbeer, and pumpkin pasties. You trust that luck is on your side, for if Namjoon really wanted to bother you while the two of you were both at Hogwarts, all he’d have to do is look a little bit harder. He’d find you. And so far, he’s made no attempts at tracking you down to terrorize you on your one weekend of freedom from his overbearing self.

Surprisingly enough, neither of you have resorted to those prank toys sold at the Zonko’s to outdo one another. Sure, your rivalry is childish and definitely worthy of a couple of fake quills and vanishing ink—at least, maturity-wise—but neither of you seem very drawn to the idea of them, and randomly bringing those nonsense tricks into the game now would just be breaking the status quo. The competition between the two of you is unnecessarily volcanic, but if there’s one thing you can agree on, it’s the fact that it is hardly based on petty tricks and practical jokes. No, you fight like real people. With words. And sometimes wands.

That is, until you somehow find yourself separated from your group of friends, and realize that you fight with snowballs, as well.

The first time, it sort of feels like someone just accidentally bumped into you, elbowed your back slightly as they’re weaving their way through the crowd. You almost make to apologize, the “Sorry” on the tip of your tongue, when it happens again. This time, there’s no mistaking the wetness on your back, damp clothes touching skin as you freeze up from the ice.

Kim Namjoon is standing by the entrance to the path that leads toward the Shrieking Shack lookout with his head tilted back, howling with laughter. You see a couple of his friends dart down the path when they notice your smouldering gaze, see how their feet make skidded footprints in the snow as they run.

Namjoon finally makes eye contact with you, but there’s no fear in his irises. He’s not scared of you, never has been, probably never will be, despite your best efforts, only grinning like he’s victorious. He’s bundled up tight but his hands are bare as they form another snowball, one you know will hit you right in the fucking noggin if you’re not smart with your next move. Either you reach down to hit him with a snowball first, or you run, desperate to wreak your revenge on him.

This is a new level of low for the both of you, you realize, having never done this before even in spite of the fact that you’ve definitely been on many a Hogsmeade outing together in your time. You had always done such a damn good job of avoiding him, pushing him to the back of your mind as you laugh with your friends as you trade Chocolate Frog cards and get Butterbeer foam on your nose. But this time, it’s different. This time, Namjoon wants to make himself known to you.

You dodge Namjoon’s next throw only barely, managing to move your head just in the nick of time as you gather up your own snowball, devious grin taking over your face as you run towards him, chasing him down. Namjoon’s smart, and he knows that you’re reckless and carefree, and so he bolts, turning down the path quickly as he follows in the footsteps of his friends. With his name on your lips, you chase him down, half-fuming, half-giggling.

It’s easy to track him down, following the sets of three different footprints to an area that you already know well enough. You keep your eyes trained on the prints in front of you, not wanting to get ambushed by a certain someone who may have taken another road.

When you reach the clearing, nobody’s there, and the footprints end.

“Stop being a coward and face me, Kim!” You shout to nobody, snowball held firmly in between your palms as you swivel around. You’re suspicious and wary, knowing that Namjoon wouldn’t lead you on some wild goose chase and make you look like a fucking idiot in the middle of the lookout to the Shrieking Shack.

Out of nowhere, a snowball comes hurdling right towards your head. You notice it at the last second, not enough time to cast a spell to deflect it but just enough to quickly move your head. It crashes onto the snowy floor behind you, collapsing into a million bits. Fuck, you forgot that one of Namjoon’s friends has an Invisibility cloak. They’re probably using that.

“Gonna hide behind a fucking cloak for this whole thing, huh, Kim? That’s low,” you shout in the direction of the source of the snowball, smirk on your face.

Crash!

Your neck and back are sopping wet, skin shivering from the dampness as you feel the ice fall off of your coat. Damnit.

“Kim!” You shriek, snowball at the ready.

Just then, two boys come scurrying out of a back path, one of them you recognize as the kid with the aforementioned Invisibility cloak. They’re giggling, but you make eye contact with both of them and they dash, not wanting to be involved in whatever battle is about to occur any longer. They’re young kids, probably no more than fourth years, but with them gone, you know it’s just you and Namjoon now.

“Found me yet, Y/N?” His voice echoes, body still hidden amongst the snowy trees and rocks.

“I see how it is,” you call back, crossing your arms over your chest in disappointment. “You’re just gonna taunt me from wherever you’re hiding and pelt snowballs at me from an unseen location instead of just dueling me like a real wizard.”

“You want to face me head-to-head, Y/N?” Namjoon asks. “Fine.”

Before you can even think about a snarky response, you feel an unmistakable thud on your head, and feel the ice dripping down your hair. It’s a small snowball, you know that much—Namjoon would never purposefully put you in danger—but it does the job and it does it well, because your body heats up in rage as you tilt your head straight up to the sky and see Namjoon casually sitting on one of the branches above.

“You asked for it, Y/N!” Namjoon shouts before jumping down, casting a wordless spell to break his fall. “Head to head.”

The first thing you do when he’s finally at your eye-level is pelt your snowball at him, watching in glee as it hits his chest and knocks the wind right out of him. Namjoon gasps slightly, but when he looks back to meet your eyes, ignited with flames, he’s grinning like a villain, dangerous smirk on his face.

Next thing you know, you have a full-scale snowball war on your hands, skids in the snow on the ground and laughter erupting from your lungs.

From a distance, the two of you might look like friends. Friends who are casually having a snowball fight in an empty clearing while on a school trip to Hogsmeade. Friends who are playfully competitive but enjoy each other’s presence regardless. From a distance, the two of you actually look like you might get along with each other.

But you can’t. You swear, you’d rather die than be the last person on Earth with Namjoon by your side, you swear that you’ll hate the kid until the end of time itself. There’s no fathomable way that you could ever get along with him, cooperate for even just one second. You’re enemies. You will always be enemies.

You’re firing at him rapidly now, snowball after snowball after snowball as you hide behind the white-covered park bench that looks out towards the Shrieking Shack, giggles bubbling in your voice as each one comes in contact with Namjoon’s body. With one final blow, you throw your largest snowball right at his torso, a loud thud erupting as it hits him, making him fall onto the snowy floor with a grunt.

Victorious laughter leaves your throat as you watch him fall, happy to see that you’ve finally fucking beat him in something, but the smile on your face soon dissipates when you notice his unmoving body. Suddenly, concern washes over your features as you run over to him. God, what did you do? The snowball couldn’t have been that strong, fuck.

“Kim? Kim, you alright?” You ask as you stand over him, nudging his still leg with your foot to see if it’ll get him up. “Namjoon?”

He’s silent, eyes closed softly, snowflakes dotting his eyelashes.

“Kim?” You repeat, leaning down as you look over him, head hovering above his. “Get up, Kim. Stop pretending. Kim!”

You’ll never admit it to him, but panic overtakes you for a brief second as you dwell on the worst thoughts that pop into your brain, that he hit his head on the hard floor, rendering him unconscious.

“Fuck,” you mutter to yourself as you look around, hoping nobody sees the two of you like this, with your body hovering over his as your chest seizes up in fear.

Just then, something grabs the arm that’s loitering right next to him and tugs you down into the snow. You shriek in surprise as your head hits his chest and warm laughter bubbles up from his throat.

“Got you!” Namjoon taunts happily, craning his neck down to get a good look at your speechless expression, mouth open but no words coming out. “God, you looked so worried, Y/N. Does that mean you actually care about me?” He asks you, gazing into your eyes with his own victory scrawled all over his face.

You scoff, pushing yourself off of him as you dust the snow from your arms and chest. “As if. You just scared me, ‘s all. I didn’t want to be held accountable for your death while still a student.” You’re flustered, ears burning a hot red (and not from the snow), but you stand up anyway, refusing to meet his eyes. “When we graduate though, that’s a different story.”

Namjoon laughs, getting up off of the ground and brushing the snow from his body. “I always knew you cared for me, Y/N. You’re so easy to read.”

“I am not!” You shout in disbelief, resisting the way your mouth yearns to curve upwards. “You’re just awful.”

“Salty that I finally exposed you?” Namjoon asks cheekily.

You turn to him as you walk back up to the path, towards the bustling Hogsmeade center, and push his chest lightly, nose scrunched up. “Shut up, Kim.”

“Make me,” Namjoon responds, and with that, he’s pressing another snowball firmly into your chest and running off with a cackle, giving you hardly any time to react before he’s off.

“Kim!”

Fourth Year

“Y/N!”

You whip your head around at the source of the voice, turning only to see your friend, Seulgi bounding towards you, gleeful smile scrawled on her face. It’s especially nice to see her these days, what with all of the negativity in your life (cough, Kim Namjoon, cough), considering the fact that you hardly have any classes with her.

“Hey,” you say in response when she catches up to you. You’re walking down to the Gamekeeper’s hut to camp out on the fairgrounds, wanting to spend some time away from the castle. It’s the one damn place Namjoon hasn’t contaminated.

“What’s this I hear about you and that Gryffindor kid?” She asks, not even trying to beat around the bush. You’re surprised that news has travelled so fast, but you suppose that anyone would be slightly suspicious of that Charms class yesterday. It’s not every day you see two top students battling it out with the Summoning Charm.

“Who, Kim?” You ask, feigning ignorance. You know damn well who she’s talking about, you’re just hoping that maybe, maybe she means someone else and you don’t have to get a bad taste in your mouth every time you say his name.

“Yeah, the smart kid. Some Gryffindor was telling me yesterday about your Charms class,” Seulgi says as she stuffs a small mint into her mouth. “What’s going on? Are you guys friends, or something?”

You stifle a laugh.

She gasps. “Are you dating him? And you didn’t even tell me?” Her eyes are wide as they stare you down, and you panic.

“Oh my God! Oh my God, no, oh my God. We’re not dating,” you say sternly, a sick image of the two of you being all cuddly together coming up in your brain. The very thought makes you want to vomit. “We’re not even friends.”

“But the two of you were like… playing around together in Charms,” your friend says, unable to connect the dots. You don’t blame her. “It sounds like you guys are dating to me.”

“We’re not, I swear. I don’t even like him,” you insist, to probably no avail. Seulgi doesn’t look all that convinced. “He’s an asshole.”

“Strong word there, Y/N,” she chides.

“He is! He hates me, honestly,” you tell her, shaking your head. “I don’t know what the heck his deal is.”

“Why does he hate you?” Seulgi asks, an eyebrow raised in confusion. “He likes everybody.”

“Not me, I guess. But the feeling is mutual. I don’t like him very much either,” you admit to her.

“Whatever you say, Y/N,” she hums casually, not paying very much attention to the conversation. As you walk down to the fairgrounds, she’s kicking a rock along the way. “I find the thought of the two of you hating each other very hard to believe.”

You scoff, a little flustered. What on Earth could give away any other message about your relationship with Namjoon besides “mortal enemy”? You thought you had made it clear enough that you disliked the boy. It’s not like he treats you any better, with his honeyed words and condescending tone.

“Believe it,” you say, pressing a finger to her forehead as you push her back slightly, making her giggle.

When you reach the bottom of the hill, you and Seulgi camp out on one of the crumbling park benches, wood faded from use. The stone seat is cold, the temperature moving through your robes as goosebumps cover your skin, but you settle in comfortably regardless. You’ve already finished your homework, so being out here isn’t really helpful for your studying, but it’s peace and quiet as the sounds of nature consume you.

“Hey, Seulgi, wanna see this thing Flitwick taught me?” You ask, nudging her side as you pull out a spare piece of parchment.

“I can’t believe you’re doing so well in Charms that Flitwick just casually teaches you outside lessons, but sure,” she responds, rolling her eyes as she turns to you.

You quickly fold the paper into an airplane, having mastered the technique the second time you did it. The first time, your airplane was… meh, at best. “The Ministry apparently uses something like this all of the time,” you say informatively. “They’re called Interdepartmental Memos, or something like that. But Flitwick just taught me how to create my own.”

Nimble fingers perfect the wings of the airplane as you turn to Seulgi, excited expression on your face. She motions for you to fly it.

With a soft bit of force, the airplane takes off, flying gracefully through the forest air as your eyes follow its path. Unlike Muggle airplanes, gravity does not take its toll on this one as it continues to float gently in the wind. The sight is perfect, almost too perfect, and instantly broken as you watch a hand reach out to grab it.

“Excuse me,” you say, rolling your eyes as you get up to go confront whoever decided that they would snatch up your airplane mid-flight. “Would you mind giving that back?”

“Did you make this, Y/N?”

God damnit.

“Not you again, Kim,” you say, face morphing into one with a pained expression. “Can’t you just give me one break? I feel like everywhere I go, you show up.”

Namjon shrugs helplessly, inspecting your airplane between his calloused hands. “I guess our paths keep crossing.”

You reach up to grab the plane from him, happy to have it back in your grasp. “I wish they didn’t.”

Namjoon leans down to look at you, an unreadable smile taking over his lips. “I’m glad that they do.”

Present

Namjoon’s poster is back to normal, you notice as you enter the library. To combat this, you quickly transfigure it into a lost Kneazle poster, just to bother him. You have no tutoring session after class today, seeing as you need all of the time you can get to finish this group project by yourself (because your classmates are incompetent at best), so you’re just here to jinx a couple of posters and check out some spellbooks. This potion isn’t going to brew itself.

Someone that does have tutoring today is Namjoon, because, for some reason, he feels no sense of urgency to keep his grades up (yet another quality you despise about him—how can he be so careless and still maintain the ranking of top student?). He’s sitting right out in the open with his student of choice, pointing to something in a book as he lectures the kid. You pay them hardly any attention, not wanting to give Namjoon the recognition he craves.

Still, with them being out in the open like that, it’s hard to avoid them as you go back and forth between shelves and cases on the hunt for the textbooks you need. You feel Namjoon’s piercing gaze on you with every step you take, keeping your head down as the pile of books in your hands grows taller and taller.

You spend probably about an hour in the library, skimming through textbooks to see which ones are worth checking out and getting distracted with light reading from textbooks about Dragons of the Stone Age and Wizards and Witches of the 18th Century Framed for Other’s Crimes. Shit’s interesting, man.

You’ve just checked out about five books when you hear thundering footsteps approaching you, which can really only mean just one thing.

“No tutoring today, Y/N?” Namjoon asks as he moseys on up to you.

“I’m busy today, Kim,” you quip back, keeping your answer short so as not to indulge him. “Don’t have time.”

“Grades falling?” Namjoon suggests, taking a quick peek at the books in your hand. “That’s a shame, Y/N. I would typically expect better from you.”

“You know what, Kim?” You ask, stopping in your tracks and turning to face him, scowl ever present. “You can take your expectations and you can shove them up your ass.”

“No need to be rude, Y/N, I know you’re trying hard to beat me out,” Namjoon says, patronizing smirk on his face. “You might get there, eventually.”

“God, you’re such a tool, you know that? You drive me up the fucking wall,” you exclaim, breathing out a sigh of annoyance. “I just want to… God, I don’t even know what the hell I want to do to you.”

“I could think of a few things,” Namjoon comments, making you gasp as you whip out your wand.

Before you can stop yourself, you’re casting whatever the first jinx to come to mind is, the Jelly-Legs one, aimed right at Namjoon’s face. He dodges it swiftly, but not before retaliating with his own curse, the Trip Jinx leaving his mouth as a flash of purple heads straight to you. You hold your textbook up as a shield, watching the streak bounce off of the cover and dissolve into the carpet. You’re livid.

“Mr. Kim! Miss Y/L/N!” Madam Pince shrieks from where she’s standing behind the checkout desk. “This behavior is highly inappropriate for the library! Detentions, for the both of you!”

Fuck.

To see the two top students, always on time, always polite, always active, trapped in an hour-long detention after class together would be a shocker for any teacher or student. The two of you show up to an empty classroom with frowns on your faces, wishing for the time to pass by. Sinistra’s in there, probably to watch over the two of you to make sure that you don’t get up to any funny business. You know, like hexing each other again.

“Welcome to Detention, take a sea—” She says without even glancing up from the pile of work on her desk, but she makes to look to see who the troublemakers of the day is, and her mouth drops, almost comically, when she sees you and Namjoon standing awkwardly at the entrance. “You two? What on Earth could have gotten you here?”

You and Namjoon look at each other guiltily.

“We had a bit of an argument,” Namjoon says, as if that’s any explanation.

“I never thought I’d see the day where the two best students in this school would land up serving a Detention with each other,” Sinistra comments as she stands up, gathering all of her papers in a neat pile. She walks down from where the desk is, meeting the two of you. “Well, since it’s only you two, I’m going to go back up to my classroom so that I can finish grading. I trust that neither of you will try to pull anything funny. You are Hogwarts’ best, after all.”

She exits the room swiftly, locking the door on the way out with some magic probably immune to Alohomora (though you wouldn’t put it past her if she didn’t) just to make sure the two of you stay trapped in this stuffy classroom for the next hour. That’s the beauty of being the best—teachers trust you with anything.

“Ugh,” you say as you collapse onto a desk, taking a seat on the top of the table. “Great.”

“We wouldn’t be in here if it weren’t for you,” Namjoon says, scrunching his nose up as he sits down beside you. “I was only acting in self-defense.”

“You provoked me,” you respond. “I’m just surprised I didn’t try to hex you sooner. It’s been over three years and I only tried to hex you now.”

“Well, you missed, so it’s not like you would have done any better as a fourth year,” he comments sarcastically. “Not a hexing kind of person?”

“You’re the only person I’d ever want to hex.”

“I’m touched.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes as you lean your head back, letting it rest on another desk. Staring up at the ceiling, you notice how the clouds slowly move across the vast expanse of blue through the skylights. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“What?” Namjoon asks.

“Why do you hate me? I don’t understand. What did I ever do to you?” You repeat, deciding that now is as good a time as any to figure out the mystery. It’s not like you have anything better to do.

“I don’t hate you,” Namjoon says softly, making you sit up in surprise.

You meet his eyes, swirling with brown wonder. “What?”

“I don’t hate you. I never said I did,” he says. “Why do you hate me?”

“Because I thought you hated me,” you respond, almost entirely at a lost for words. “Because you’re always so rude, and obnoxious, and taunting, and you push all of my buttons and make me want to punch you in the—”

There are many ways that Namjoon has shut you up before, with a sneer, a spell, a sentence, but never with his lips. At least, not until now.

You gasp into his mouth when his lips meet yours, but all other reasoning flies out into the courtyard at the sensation, all the parts of your brain that would typically be shouting “What the hell are you doing?!” rendered completely ineffective. You’re a good multitasker—you’d have to be to get the top spot, after all—but with his mouth on yours you can only focus on him, on the warmth that emanates from his whole body as he presses it into you. His hands come to hold your cheeks, cradle them in his palms as he lets the kiss work, eyelashes fluttering.

The second you part, your senses are finally coming back to you, and you react, albeit weakly, by pushing him away.

“What the hell?” You ask, more to yourself than to him, keeping your eyes trained on the floor. “Kim, what on—”

“I’ve wanted to do that since fourth year,” Namjoon interrupts, cheeks flushed a deep red. “You just never realized it.”

“Since fourth year?” You ask, still shaken. “You’ve been taunting and teasing me since fourth year and you think that one kiss is going to change all of that?”

“I—I should have done it sooner,” Namjoon admits, rubbing his arm awkwardly as he approaches you with a romantic sort of hesitance, one that has your heart shaking a little. “I know. I regret it.”

“I—” you begin, unable to finish your exclamation, come up with a coherent sentence. All you think about is the feeling of his lips on yours, how it made your heart thump a thousand times faster and all your worries dissipate.

“I treasure your presence in my life, Y/N,” Namjoon says. “I do. You never fail to make me smile or laugh. You’re so giving, you know. You’re sweet and grateful and you know what you want and you know how to get it. I think it’s admirable. I think you’re admirable.”

“Namjoon, I—”

“I understand if you don’t want to give this a shot,” he says, coming up to you as he takes your hand in his. “But I want you to know that I think that I’m in love with you, and that that won’t ever change. No matter what happens to us.”

God, you cannot cry in front of him, you refuse, so you furiously blink away the tears in your watering eyes. “You’re such an asshole, you know that?” You ask, voice choking. “All this time… all this time.”

“Y/N…”

“I think I love you too, Kim. I really, really do,” you admit, the words feel like a weight is being lifted off of your chest. Like with him, you can finally float.

Namjoon’s face breaks out into a smile, a warm, beautiful one, as he reaches out to press a light kiss on your forehead. One filled with promises of a better tomorrow.

You leave detention an hour later with a new outlook on life, a new boyfriend, and one hell of a joint-tutoring program, coordinated by only you and a special someone.

Third year you would never even dream about dating Kim Namjoon, but seventh year you can’t think of anything better than him by your side.

⇒ hmu with feedback or just talk to me here!

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hanniejji · 6 years

Text

TAGS UWU

So I was tagged three times and since I wasn't able to do it on my phone I had to do it on my computer lmao anyway I got tagged by my sweet cakes(@hyunjinsgiggle ), the sunshine (@felegs ), and this cutie (@stayuwu ) this is going to be long btw im sorry and the ending is very depressing ignore it

Bold Tag

Rules: bold the ones that apply to you!

Appearance:

I’m over 5'5 / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blonde hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing / I have one or more piercings / I have at least one tattoo / I have blue eyes / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile / I am pleased with how I look / I prefer Nike to Adidas / I wear baseball hats backwards

Hobbies and talents:

I play a sport / I can play an instrument / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition / I can cook or bake without a recipe / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami / I prefer movies on TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends / I travel during school or work brakes / I can do a handstand

Experiences:

I have had my first kiss / I have gotten drunk / I have told a crush I like them / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree

Relationships:

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend I have known for over ten years / my parents are together / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / my crush have confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I have met online

Aesthetics:

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / the sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths / Autumn is my favorite season

Miscellaneous:

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle / I am the mom friend / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities/ I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am Multi-racial / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBR

I'm about to answer 33 questions wow I feel like I'm on an examination

11 questions tag

by sweet cakes:

1. what is your fashion sense?

I have a lot of styles depending on the weather or my mood. I mostly do the sweater/jacket + high waisted shorts hehe or turtle neck + shorts + cardigan/jacket. when I'm lazy, which is always, I wear an oversize hoodie and shorts and the occasional cap hihi I have a weird sense of fashion

2. what is your favourite season?

I like rainy, or windy. any is fine as long as I don't sweat like hell adfaslsja I hate summer

3. if you could go on holiday anywhere, where?

I love going to beaches but tbh anywhere with good views is fine, it doesn't matter since the most important thing for me is that I get the experience and take lots of photos if they have a lot of delicious foods then that's better oof

4. what is one quote you live by?

"learn to stand on your own feet" has a very special place in my heart

5. would you ever get a tattoo, and if so, what and where?

I would want a snowflake, because we're not alone falling down

6. what is your favourite song at the minute?

at the moment, it's nobody knows by youngjae and fine by yugyeom ✨✨

7. what is one album you would listen to for the rest of your life?

I still listen to Linkin Park songs because of the meaningful and relatable lyrics

8. what is your favourite memory from the last year?

it has to be the one time my mom said she's proud of me :')

9. what is one regret you have?

not being able to make friends easily :'( I find it hard to do

10. would you change aforementioned regret?

maybe :'(

11. if you could have any food in the world to eat right now, what would it be?

How dare you make me choose I can't possibly choose between different varieties of foods :'( fries, frappe, and shawarma w/o cucumber pls

by sunshine 🌞

1. what’s one thing that helps you relax?

probably sleeping with soft background music

2. what’s your favorite novel and author?

I'd rather poetry :') sea of strangers by lang leav is amazing

3. are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

I'm more like the closet affectionate person hehe but when I'm tired or sleepy I get clingy a lot but I'm mostly through small actions, I'm not comfortable with saying "I miss you" or whatever unless I'm typing them

4. are you an early bird or a night owl?

totally a night owl

5. if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

sorry by halsey, broken home by 5sos

6. if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

the beach we went to last vacation :')

7. what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

a very comfy oversized hoodie, it's black with front pocket, sweater paaaaws, and it has a small doodle of neptune on the back

8. who’s your bias and why?

bias? I don't know her

9. do you believe in luck and miracles?

yas, my aunt is actually a fortune teller? idk? but she knows a lot about those and spirits thing but since I have low self confidence I mostly sound like I don't believe in them

10. what’s your favorite type of decorations?

aesthetic and pastel colors ✨

11. do you prefer being outside or inside?

booooth

by cutie :

1. Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

sometimes I just space out without even realizing

2. What’s your favorite place in the world?

home

3. What’s home to you?

somewhere that no one can judge me, a safety place, a place where I can let loose and be comfortable and not give a care about anything

4. This is not a question but quote a vine.

"oh hell noOooOoOOoOooOooOO"

5. Grey’s anatomy or House?

what i don't watch any of these

6. Do you have any pets?

a lame excuse of a cat

7. What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the mom friend, scolds you 25/8, gives advises everywhere, comforts you, takes things seriously, drops everything just to listen to you unless I'm in a very bad mood, sacrifices for you, boyfriend material (according to my friend), secretly soft, lazy but exerts effort when needed, randomly does weird things and dances to fortnite, supports you, but lowkey doesn't do the same for myself lol because I'm emo and you can hear me saying bad things about myself 27/10 and pushing you away lol

I don't share my food unless you're important lmao

8. Do you hate someone? If so, why?

fake peopleeee

9. What’s your dream job?

to be a journalism

10. What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

probably wanda

11. I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

I just want to cry to someone but I don't have the heart to tell anyone, I don't know why but I get stressed so easily and that one time our nurse had a seminar and asked if anyone is depressed, I just want to raise my hand but I'm too scared someone will judge me and think of me as a weak person, like now, and she started this speech about how to beat depression and I just can't understand how is that going to work because it doesn't work on me. I'm getting tired of constantly getting sad for no reason and it's bothering my classmates and I hate bothering them I feel like I'm annoying so I kept these thoughts to myself. It's hard trying to avoid spacing out and being so quiet all of the sudden, I'm getting mad at myself for being pathetic and I did the "do" once because I was so desperate to feel something other than sadness and I couldn't even tell anyone and right now I feel like this rant I'm doing is bothering everyone I hate being like this :'(

I'm doooonneee hehehehe that took me like a long time and I should really sleep now :') I will reblog this with my 11 questions and tags because tumblr has limits ugh

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stuclyblrs · 7 years

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hi everyone !!!! i’m a rising freshman at college/uni and thinking back on the college apps process i realized that i learned a lot that i would like to share !! i was successful with my college apps so im hoping i can give good advice✨

want to see more of this series? click here for the rest of the posts !!

the basics

tbh i personally loved going on campus tours !!! i think they are a very important aspect of the application process and shouldn’t be overlooked. a campus tour can easily make or break ur college list. additionally, if it wasn’t for campus tours, i would’ve never found the ~perfect~ school 4 me

scheduling - a lot of posts abt tours i’ve seen say to try and go when class is in schedule to get the campus vibe but tbh even if u go during the summer u can still get a good feel of what the school is gonna be like i only did my tours over the summer and u can still get a rly good feel based on the campus itself and the small number of students are there !

info sessions - if an info session is offered before the tour then please try and go to it ! they provide some of the basics about a school and often have a small q&a session with the admissions officer running it

the tour itself - if you can hang around the front of the group. this will allow you to hear better, easily ask questions, and possibly overhear someone else asking a question that you might not of thought of. just trying not to constantly invade your guide’s personal space or bombard them with so many questions that they can’t give anyone else attention

ask for what you want to see - idk whose idea this was but so many tours that i went on did not show a classroom which makes no sense since you are here to learn. if you do not visit a classroom or any other facility you would like to see (for me, i made sure to visit the main libraries), then ask after the tour if you can see one! i rly did not have a problem with this and most people told me where there were open buildings where classrooms could be seen. just remember that you still might not be able to visit certain locations as most university buildings only allow students to enter (it never hurts to ask)

with this being said, pay attention on tours for classrooms. while the tour might not stop in one, there’s a good chance you could walk by one so peak through the windows (if their isnt a class in session there - dont be creepy) so you can get a feel for what they look like.

why you should go - as long as time/money permit, then you should visit every college you can. like i already mentioned (and will explain later in this post), a campus tour can help decide if a school is truly right for you. going on a campus tour also shows demonstrated interest in school which can only be a positive when it comes to applying. the school will have on record that you visited there and then you automatically end up on their mailing lists (if you can’t visit make sure u sign up for the mailing list for this same reason). even if u have unofficially gone to a school hundreds of times do a campus tour

note taking

i didn’t actually see a whole lot of other students taking notes but i felt it was important in remembering details about the school and to gather information (if needed) for the why X school essay. i had a small notebook that i would write the important things from the info sessions, the feel/look of the campus itself, the vibe other students gave, the way the dorms/classrooms/cafeteria/library looked, answers to any questions i asked, or whatever else i felt was important. just remember to give your tour guide respect and pay attention to them more than your notebook

as you can see i took note taking very seriously

asking questions

this is super important as it’s the best time to understand what a school is like from an actual student. while they are there to sell u a school, they’re still gonna be more honest then info pamphlets

questions to ask

what made u choose X school among others?

this question is so !!! important !!!! i think this can help you grasp what kind of student fits w/ a particular school. if you end up with a tour guide who gives an insightful response, it can help reveal the values of both the school and the students. if u are like me and didnt have any top picks in mind beforehand or didnt rly know what you want in a school this can be helpful in understanding why people have their top choices and why they feel attachment to a certain school. additionally, if you are torn between two (or more!) schools when it comes to decision time, this can help u determine which school will be a better fit.

however, in my experience, many students tend to respond to this “i just had the right feeling when i visited the school” or some variation of this so you might not always get the best answer but try to get them to elaborate a bit more. for example, one of my tour guides was from london so i asked her why she wanted to go to school in america and what made her choose this school over other american colleges. while it’s not directly asking why X school i was able to get a more detailed answer to this question !

what are some unique traditions that X school has?

this ties into the previous question as it involves reasons for selecting one school over another but the main reason to ask this is for the “why X school” essay (i’ll talk about how to do these in a later post). not every school will have this extra essay, but many do so it’s important to be prepared ! this will give you content that’s more in depth and shows that you did research on the school

what’s the student body like?

are they super involved in service/volunteering? do sports function as the main social events? are people quiet and chill or major partiers?

while i talked about this in my post about researching schools, now is the best time to understand the ~vibe~ a school as. you should also observe other students around you and see what they are doing. you don’t need to ask the specific questions/similar ones that i listed, but make sure you get a general idea ! (unless of course you want to ask specifically about these things)

specific programs for your major

if you know what you would like to study, then ask questions about their specific program. (i did not know what i wanted to study, so i didnt ask these kinds of questions and unfortunately can’t offer much advice on how to ask)

ask about your tour guide’s major

if your major is not their major, they might not be able to provide much information outside of the general facts about it but ask about their major(s) ! i’m sure they’ll be glad to talk about what they are studying and it can give you a feel how the academics work in general about the school (especially if your major is within the same college/school @ the university b/c policies and whatnot will be very similar.)

@studywithanu has a guide on asking questions on campus tours written from their perpsective as a tour guide please check it out !

questions to NOT ask i can’t speak for tour guides on what they find annoying and what they don’t but just on the few campus tours that i went on i heard so much of the same bullshit questions (not trying to be harsh but some of it got to me). who knows, maybe some of these questions are only bad in my opinion but honestly i felt people could be using their time to ask better questions

what’s the difference between early action/early decision?

pal not to be rude but if u dont know this at this point then one props to u for not being completely obsessed with the college apps process as i was and two u have access to google.....it’s right there

but in seriousness, why waste your time on a generic question that can be easily found out and isn’t specific to the school you’re visiting ?? the purpose of the tour is to learn about one school not the application terminology. it amazed me how many different people i heard ask this

in case if u don’t know what the difference is i’m gonna tell u right here cause im feeling nice !

early decision - this is binding folks ! only apply ED if ur sure that your school is ur number one choice and you can’t picture yourself anywhere else and you’ll die if you dont go here. also u need to be able to afford it. the only way u can be let go of ur agreement is if the financial aid offered to you is too low (like way too low) and the cost will prevent you from attending college that’s it ! you can’t change ur mind b/c you think you like somewhere else better or somewhere else gave u larger scholarship. additionally, you submit your application (often november) earlier and find out about ur admissions status earlier (often december). note: some schools have ED II which basically is still ED, but you submit ur application at the same time as regular decision and you hear back earlier (normally february)

early action - non-binding ! apply to as many schools EA if you want. like ED, the application process is completed earlier and you are notified of ur status earlier too. unlike ED, you are not bound to any EA school and can wait to accept or decline until their deadline (may 1st is the majority for most universities). sometimes, a school’s EA might have a greater acceptance rate due the lower amount of students but the competition might be stronger so keep that in mind ! note: there are some schools w/ restrictive EA meaning you can only apply to that school EA and no others (you are not bound to admissions tho) this is most common in the ivies and generally you won’t come across it much.

what’s the average gpa/sat/act scores or what’s the acceptance rate?

again, why waste ur time on facts that can be easily googled and were most likely presented to you in the information session

this will make you seem uninformed and ill-prepared, which we don’t want. ask the best questions you possibly can !

how did you get in/what did u do in hs/what were ur grades

while i (thank god) never encountered this on a tour, i do know people can be very upfront with asking other studyblrs/appblrs these questions - maybe it’s just due to the anonymous feature on here but sometimes people are quite rude about asking these kind of questions

while i do not think asking someone with a study/appblr what their activities in high school is bad (as we are here to discuss these kind of things), the question “how did you get in to X school” needs to stop getting asked in general b/c guess what - none of us know which little detail of our applications made the admissions officer know you’d be the perfect fit for the school

instead try asking them about their current activities (gives you an insight on how the students are involved) and if they find the academics to be just the right level of challenging

anything that can be easily found on a school’s website

i know im basically repeating myself but if it can be found on the first few pages under the admissions section online or in any of their info pamphlets, then don’t ask it. it’s a waste of time - you want this tour to allow you to make an informed decision on if you should apply to this school. if you only go to learn stuff that you know is online (even if u dont know it off the top of ur head or haven’t looked it up yet) then what was the point of visiting at all ?

however, if you need more clarification about anything posted online (such as deadlines !) then ask away

is it right for me?

okay you’ve done all your research, visited all the schools on your list. now it’s time to ask are these schools right for me? should i apply here? there isn’t a right or wrong answer only you can determine if you should apply. since this is a bit more difficult to write clear-cut advice for here’s some examples from my personal experience

in case if you haven’t read my previous posts, the only factor i knew that i wanted out of a school was for it to be located in a big city, so all the schools i visited/applied to were in some major cities in the northeast. there was one school that i had high hopes for since it was located in the city but still had a traditional campus (hard factor to find in cities). however, upon traveling to this college, i discovered it’s on the outskirts of the city and a bit too far for my liking (i felt that if i attended i wouldn’t leave and explore the city daily, only on certain occasions if i felt like going out). additionally, i did not like the vibe the admissions officer that hosted the info session gave off. these two things were enough for me to say this is not the school for me, so after the info session my mom and i left and skipped the tour

when it came to the school that i will be attending, i only knew that it was my number one choice because of the campus tour. it was the last school i visited and while i had liked most of the schools i visited, i knew none of them were necessarily the “one” for me. they were all nice but my general reaction was just kind of okay i’ll still apply here onto the next school.... i hate that i can’t give a proper explanation as /why/ it was the right school (i always hated when my tour guides would say they picked their school based on a feeling), but yes i did have that feeling where i knew this was it. i could tell the students values aligned with mine, it was right in the city, it has an A+ study abroad program, strong academics, and more that i can’t put into words. if this doesn’t happen to you, do not be alarmed (tbh im surprised it happened to me) you don’t need to find the one for you to love your school. in fact, not having a dream school might be better b/c you can focus on your options logically and not get stuck on one school

a side note to this is my aunt always thought this one school was her top choice and that she had to go there but when she finally got a chance to visit, she absolutely hated it and later found a university that she loved (she still goes to football games regularly) don’t underestimate the campus tour !

can’t visit a school?

you still have several options to use even if you can’t visit somewhere (or even if u can these are still helpful)

virtual campus tours

youvisit - super neat campus simulation and some schools even have a virtual tour guide

campustours - also includes interactive maps

youtube channels

look for day in life vids, dorm tours, or any other content posted by students at the school + they’re gonna be more honest since it isn’t their job to sell u the school

school’s website/youtube

check the school website/youtube channel and see if they have maps or any kind of virtual tour

wow this was very lengthy so i rly hope this helps everyone ! if you have any other questions please feel free to send me an ask! my next post will cover basics to the common app so check back soon !

#appblr #studyblr #appblr18 #college applications #appblr 2018 #appse #this is so long i died making this #adkjcsjkd im prolly posting this too late for co '18 oh well #mine

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dvddggs · 7 years

Text

The Sirens’ Song

summary: it’s a pirate’s life for Washington and the crew, who run one of the most highly-feared pirate ships on the ocean. Struck by a recent tragedy and a new recruit they navigate the seas in an attempt to continue what they do best: pirating. When they are faced with the impossible task of choosing between loyalty to the crew and finding again what they once lost, will they make the right choice?

words: 3,068

a/n: hey, everyone! I had this wild idea for a PIRATE/MERMAID AU so here I am because, of course, I have nothing better to do than start another series, right (yikes)?? Anyways, I am pretty happy with how chapter one turned out and I’m pretty pumped about it! Please let me know what you think, feedback would be greatly appreciated, and if you liked it, be sure to reblog so other people can read TSS too! :)

tags: if you want to be tagged in upcoming chapters, shoot me an ask!

dedication: @sinmineral for helping me write this at 4AM last night lmfao thx my dude

The wind roars as the waves whip across the ship and soak the deck in a freezing, salty spray. The crew slides into the masts, frantically pulling at riggings and trying to navigate the ship around the storm.

“Someone needs to tend to the port-side mast! NOW!”

“On it, Captain!”

The crew is like a well-oiled machine. We trust our captain and obey orders without question. There is hardly an opportunity to panic because we synchronize so well.

The water begins to calm as we sail forward, the boat rocking back and forth dangerously fast over the remaining waves.

“Ahh,” the captain sighs with a small smile, letting go of the rigging that controls the largest sail. “Well done, everyone. It seems we’ve seen the worst of it for now.”

The crew and I give a small cheer, but we do not get too hasty—we still are not completely free of the bumpy waters.

“Should be smooth sailing from here on out, Captain Washington,” the lookout calls from the crow’s nest, putting away a spyglass.

With a curt nod, relief floods the captain’s face in the form of a warm smile.

“Aye! I think it’s high time we hit the hammocks. I’ll take first watch tonight. Seabury’s got supper ready for you in the galley. Go enjoy yourselves! And tomorrow, we find some gold!” 

The crew whoops and hollers as they head down for supper, laughing and telling our mates what went on at their post during the storm. I stay behind for a moment, lingering.

“Is something wrong, Hamilton?” Washington asks me. “If this is about—you know—the answer is still no. I’m sorry, but rules are rules.”

“Not at all, Captain.” I am lying and Washington knows it. “Just wanted to congratulate a job well-done.”

Washington grasps my hand and shakes it enthusiastically. We are close friends, having been sailing together since we were young. Something about sailing brings people together.

“Thank you, Eliza,” Georgia says to me. “Aye, another storm tackled. Save me a plate, will you?”

I nod and spin on my heel, straightening my jacket as I head down to the galley for my favourite activity: eating dinner and tormenting Seabury with my shipmates.

It is calm. Quiet. The waves rock the ship through the inky blackness of the night and the crew’s hammocks swing gently in time with the movement. The ropes which suspend them creak slowly, lulling the crew into the day’s first moment of relaxation. I can tell that everyone else is asleep—their breathing has steadied and one of them is even snoring. It is probably Angelica, but I can’t know for sure.

I enjoy these moments, alone in the darkness. I am free to think whatever I please, free to stare at the beams overhead if I so choose, free to do nothing. A rare treat.

“Hamilton.”

A whisper through the darkness.

A moment of silence.

“Reynolds.”

“You’re still awake.” The declaration slices harshly through the night. “I cannot seem to fall asleep.”

“Me either,” I reply softly. “Come here.”

I listen as the rough canvas of the hammock rustles and the floorboards creak, growing louder as Reynolds draws closer. I push the edge of my hammock out to allow my companion to slide in next to me.

“Maria,” I murmur in acknowledgement.

“Elizabeth.”

I can’t help but smile at the use of my first name—another rare occurrence. Wrapping an arm around Reynolds, I sigh into her hair, lost in a deep peace. Moments like these make me wish the night could go on forever, that we could stay like this until the end of time.

Washington, however, has strict rules about fellow crew members seeing each other. According to her it is bad for morale and only ever ends badly.

“It has been an eventful few days.” My voice drops to a whisper as I feel my eyelids grow heavy. “We need our sleep.”

I feel Reynolds nod against my chest. This is quickly replaced with a yawn.

“Sweet dreams, Hamilton,” she says softly. Her voice is like the smoothest rum—comforting, warm, and intoxicating. She is asleep before I can reply.

I brush a stray hair out of my companion’s face and smile sadly. She is the most recent addition to the crew, and is also the youngest. During one of our stretches on land last month, Washington found her prostituting on the streets for pennies a day. At eighteen, she had lost her family to an illness and when we found her only a year later, she was doing all she could to survive. Washington wouldn’t hear another word about it—she was to come with us. The promise was not of much, but she ensured Reynolds that we eat three square meals a day and that we take care of each other.

It did not take long for Reynolds and I to fall for each other. As Washington’s oldest friend and first mate of the ship, I was given the task of training Reynolds. At first I was not impressed, unsure of how a lowly wench could survive even a month with a bunch of pirates. Very quickly, however, my distaste was replaced with shock as I found Reynolds to be an extremely hard worker and constantly eager to learn.

It took me but a week to fall for her.

The first time we kissed was after the raid of a rival ship. She was nervous, having never so much as wielded a sword or a gun before in a real battle. She managed to not only survive but find the rivals’ loot as well. After we tied the pirates to their own ship, Reynolds and I, overcome with adrenaline, kissed on the gangplank connecting the raided ship and our own.

Immediately after that did Washington remind us of her rule about shipmate relations.

So here we lie in the darkness, our only companion the pale moon that lights the sleeping quarters. We cannot always lay together—in fact, we usually do not—but once in awhile, Reynolds will wake me in dire need of human contact.

We are understanding for the most part; we were all like that in the beginning. Over time, however, we began to forget the feeling, and the appeal of the feeling, so the need is lost. Because of Maria, I have begun to crave human contact again. I find it to be like a drug: you can wean yourself off of it, but once it returns, it is even harder to forget than the first time.

My eyelids are finally beginning to flutter shut as I drift in and out of consciousness, warmed comfortably by the girl who lays beside me. Reynolds’ breathing is calculated and deep, a testament to her exhaustion.

I match my breathing to hers and feel sleep threaten to take over my body when a sharp knock at the door rips me from my dreamlike state.

“LADIES! Up and at `em, c’mon!”

The hammocks around me begin to stir as Maria jumps frantically out of mine and back to her own before anyone can notice.

“What’s going on?” Schuyler mutters grumpily. Rule number one of the ship is to never wake Angelica unless it is an emergency. And from the tone of Washington’s voice, this is an emergency.

“Hurry up!”

I stand and stretch, pulling my pants, boots, and jacket on in a hurry. My shipmates follow suit and trail behind me up to the main deck where we line up and wait to be updated.

Washington’s pacing comes to a halt as she gazes at each one of us in turn. I swear I can see her eyes flicker from me to Reynolds and back, but it is probably my exhaustion-induced imagination.

“It must have been a navigational error,” Washington begins. I can hear the worry in her voice, which concerns me. It is out of character for her to get this concerned about something so quickly.

“What is happening, Captain?” I ask, stepping forward. My voice is strong but I let Georgia see the worry in my face. I need her to know that she is frightening me.

“Like I said,” Washington replies. Her voice is slower this time, more calculated. “It must have been a navigational error. It’s no one’s fault, really…it’s just that we—we’re approaching siren territory.”

I feel my throat drop into my stomach as I look round at the crew. Angelica’s eyes are wide. Her sister, Peggy, has taken a step back to lean against the mast. Reynolds is looking between us in shock.

“They’re real?” she whispers.

I nod slowly. “They’re real. And they’re dangerous.”

Behind me, I can hear the singing grow louder. I am enchanted. Despite my best efforts to drown it out, I cannot focus on anything but the song emanating from the sea, detached from any visible bodies. It is the sound of echoes, the sound of bells. As we stand on the deck, the moonlight illuminating our pale, scared faces, the singing grows louder. We know that, realistically, we will not be able to stop whatever is about to happen, but at the same time we know that we must try to fight.

I look over at Reynolds. She does not look as scared as the rest of us, but again, she’s never encountered the sirens before. Washington looks stressed. She spins around and rushes back to the Captain’s Quarters. I chase after her.

“Washington,” I call. “Captain! Georgia! Wait for a moment!”

The captain stops in her tracks and looks at me, eyes stormy and full of sadness.

“We must fight,” I say frantically. “Georgia, we have no choice. We won’t make it out of here alive.”

She studies my face and sighs. “Hamilton—”

“Captain, I know what happened was hard—trust me, we all still feel it. Every single day we feel it—but we need to get past this, okay? We’ve done it once. We can do it again. No casualties this time.”

Washington nods. She knows that I’m right.

“I miss Martha,” she whispers, resting her forehead on my shoulder. “Every goddamn day I miss her more, Eliza.”

Martha Dandridge. The reason for Washington’s rule against seeing shipmates. Dandridge was first mate aboard the ship, and she and Washington had planned to marry upon our next stop on land.

Before we could make it, however, we entered siren territory. Dandridge was taken captive by the sirens’ song. We still do not know what she heard that made her jump, but before Washington could stop her, she had fallen prey to the sirens’ endearing voices. We managed to escape to the nearest port by morning where we found and recruited Maria. I was made first mate, and none of us spoke about it again. Until now.

“We all miss her, Georgia,” I say gently, patting my captain’s shoulder.

“Right.” She nods, snapping herself free from her thoughts. “Well, let’s get out of here.”

I feel a smile tug at the corners of my mouth, pulling the door open for Washington. She walks swiftly back onto the deck and I follow closely behind her.

“Alright, mates,” Washington says. There is a renewed vigour in her voice which she harnesses to comfort us. “We need to get out of here as soon as we possibly can. Reynolds: you’ve never seen sirens before—it’s not going to be easy, we all know that—but we don’t have another choice, now do we?”

We shake our heads.

“Answer me when I speak to you or you’ll be downstairs swabbing the galley with Seabury. DO WE?”

“NO MA’AM,” we chant in unison.

Washington smiles. “That’s better. Okay. Little Schuyler! I need you in the crow’s nest. Keep eyes on the sirens. They usually travel in packs, so once we’ve passed them we should be in the clear.”

Peggy salutes and climbs up the ladder to her usual post.

“Big Schuyler. I need you at the helm. They're going to start churning the water so it’s not going to be easy. You’re going to have to steer us around the waves as best you can.”

“Yes, Captain!” Angelica salutes and takes hold of the spinning wheel, ready for further instruction.

“Reynolds!” Washington spins around to face Maria. “I need you on the rigging of the mainsail.”

Reynolds’ eyes widen in shock. “But—”

“No ‘buts,’ Reynolds! Do as you’re told. I cannot be trusted with it in siren territory. I’m too susceptible to their song.”

Reynolds gives an unsure salute as Washington exchanges a glance with me. I know what she is thinking. As Reynolds walks away, the captain approaches me.

“If they sing about Martha, Hamilton, I don’t know what’s going to happen.” There is a terror in Washington’s eyes that I’ve never seen before. “I won’t promise that I’m going to be strong enough to resist.”

I nod, understanding that it is pointless to argue or disagree.

“I’ve got you covered, Captain,” I say. “Always.”

Washington clears her throat and looks around at the crew. “POSITIONS. READY?”

“AYE, CAPTAIN.”

“Ladies, it’s going to be a long night, but let’s get the hell out of here.”

“AYE, CAPTAIN.”

We are thrown into the midst of hell. The ship is slammed against the waves created by the stirring sirens and we are knocked violently around with it.

“HAMILTON, MAN THE BOW,” Little Schuyler screams from her post. “THEY’RE CONGREGATING THERE!”

I sprint across the slick deck, pulling my gun from its holster. The singing gets louder as I halt at the front of the ship. Below me, I can see a group of sirens looking up at us. One gestures for me to follow him into the dark and unforgiving sea. They slice through the water with their fins, navigating easily the storm they are creating.

“I can’t get a good shot!” I call over my shoulder.

“JUST START SHOOTING,” Big Schuyler screams across the helm.

I return my focus to the sirens below, ready to shoot, when something stops me. There are four of them, all male, and they are smirking up at me. One of them is covered in freckles. His wet, curly hair cascades down his back in loose ringlets. The second and third ones have dark skin, one with short hair and one with a full head of wild, tight curls. They are both bigger than the other two and float behind them, as if they are bodyguards. The fourth one has shoulder-length black hair, which is pulled back with a ribbon, and a goatee. His smirk is the largest and the most endearing. I lose myself for a moment and watch as they begin to sing.

The sound is intoxicating. I feel as though I am wine-drunk as I let in the low and calming ring of their voices. It chimes through the whistling wind effortlessly and I am captivated.

We have discovered what you seek The freedom to keep what you love, and love what you keep Together we can help you, so anchors away You can be with your girl as long as with us you stay

I feel a smile grow on my face as I lower my gun, the warm image of Maria filling my mind. We can be together here…there does not need to be anymore hiding…they will let me love her…peace and hope blossoms through me like the most beautiful flower...

“REYNOLDS,” I say, stepping back from my post. She is watching me incredulously, mouth hanging open.

“What are you doing!?” she screams. “Get back there, Hamilton! We need to get the hell out of here!”

“But we can be together.” My voice falters. Does she not want this?

“HAMILTON.” Washington’s voice breaks me from my trance. I shake my head, which grows clearer with each passing second. “Get your head on straight! Switch posts with me. NOW.”

I take a deep breath and take over the rigging that Washington is tugging at. Though she looks strong, I can see her hands shake as she takes the gun from my outstretched hand.

“It’s going to be okay,” I murmur.

The captain nods, but I am not sure she believes me. She makes her way to the bow of the ship and takes my place. I cannot hear anything over the howling of the wind, but I can see that she, too, seems to be in a trance.

Then, without warning, she steps onto the railing.

“NO!” I hear my voice, but I do not realize that I am screaming. I see the rest of the crew tense up as they watch from their posts.

Me, I cannot stand by and watch. I let go of the rigging, which leaves the sail whipping through the air uselessly, and sprint across the deck, disobeying my orders.

“WASHINGTON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” My voice is quiet over the sound of the singing, which I can hear now, though to me it is just an endearing hum. I cannot hear the song they have reserved for her.

She turns to look at me, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“That’s the one,” she says, jabbing her thumb towards the siren with the shoulder-length hair. “He took Dandridge. She’s still alive, Hamilton. She’s still alive. She’s still alive…”

“Georgia, look at me.” I am frantic. She has one leg over the edge of the ship so I grab her hand. “Think about it. There’s no way Martha is still alive. You can’t do this—it’s suicide.”

“Still alive…she’s still alive…”

Washington’s eyes are full of wonder as she stares between myself and the sirens below. I watch her, tightening my grip on her hand as I start to pull her back. She seems to be complying when I hear another sound ring out from below.

I am soaked to the bone, shivering, as I feel Washington begin to slip through my wet hands.

“No, Captain, NO!”

I am too late. She glances at the crew, slides her hand free of my grasp, and dives headfirst into the ocean, where the group of sirens wrap their arms around her and pull her downward into the endless darkness of the sea.

The last thing I can see is her hand reaching upward.

The waters begin to calm.

#the sirens' song #hamilton fanfic #hamilton fanfiction #mermaid au #pirate au #hamilton mermaid au #hamilton pirate au

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mediacalling · 5 years

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Shape Up Your Social Media For 2019

New year, new you, right?

January’s a great time to break those bad habits and set your positive plans in motion. So how about we shape up your social media for 2019?

That’s right. In this article, we’re trimming the fat, toning up your channels and muscling up for summer. Ready for your social media workout? Let’s do this.

The Warm Up

Warming up is essential for an exercise regime. It prevents injury and creates the right mindset. It’s no different for social media managers. Here’s how to warm up for success.

Plan your day

Social media management in 2019 is intense. We have a million tasks to get through across an increasing number of channels. And there’s more pressure than ever to deliver regular stats and reports.

This interesting infographic from Meltwater sums it up. So it’s no wonder that in multitasking so many things, we can get stressed out and disorganized.

Taking action:

Spend 20 minutes at the start of your day making a to-do list. Prioritize essential, time sensitive tasks, community management, updating your channels, answering emails and sending out PRs. Next, allocate time for evergreen content, future scheduling, creatives and planning.

By learning to use scheduling effectively, you will feel more in control of your day. Use the multi-channel scheduling and queuing tools from AgoraPulse to really get on top of your social media management.

Having a plan at the start of the day with actionable items that you tick off as you go will help you stay on track and make you feel great when you achieve it all.

Eliminate distractions

As we head into 2019, take some time to think about what’s distracting you from completing key social media tasks and hitting your KPIs. Here are some of the possible culprits:

Social media notifications

New emails

Skype chats

Instant messaging

Desktop notifications

YouTube Videos

Slack notification

Whether it’s disappearing down the YouTube rabbit hole or getting pulled into instant chats, distractions will keep you from accomplishing your goals.

Taking action:

Don’t be afraid to mute social media notifications and emails while you work on content writing tasks. Instead of constantly keeping an eye on them, schedule time in your calendar to read and respond to emails and check your social media channels.

If you’re working on an important report or deadline, set your out of office to “away” to eliminate non-essential distractions. Be mindful of the time you’re spending on sites like YouTube. Just in case you were curious, Google recently introduced a new tool so you can monitor your usage!

And don’t forget to take breaks. Studies suggest that you should work for 52 minutes and break for 17. While that is probably not possible for social media managers, treat yourself to a short video in your structured break!

The Power Up

A little less conversation, a little more action please!

Elvis has got a point! We’ve done enough talking and planning and it’s time to power up. Getting better results than last year doesn’t necessarily mean working harder. It means trying new things and optimizing your existing practices. Here’s how to power up your social media in 2019.

Explore new social media channels

Nothing dooms a new routine to failure like boredom. So, this year, break out of your social media routine by adding a new channel.

Let’s take a look at Medium. The channel now has 60 million monthly readers, publishes nearly 8 million user articles per month and its visitors are increasing by 140% year on year.

Don’t fancy Medium? Then why not check out messaging platform Telegram. The channel is a messaging app that syncs across all your devices and can be used on desktops, tablets and phones alike. It’s not exactly a social media network yet but watch this space.

Another possiblity is Vero, hotly tipped as the next Instagram! This app allows for easy sharing of movies, music, TV, books, photos, and links. Right now, there’s no capability for advertising but there’s plenty of scope for research and discovery.

Taking action:

Don’t get complacent about the big five (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube). In 2019, take the time to add at least one new channel and begin including it in your social media activities.

Shape up your video marketing

While many people hit the gym in January, you can start getting your video marketing in shape. Video is going to dominate 80% of all web content by 2020 and as viewers retain 95% of a video marketing message as opposed to 10% when reading text, it makes perfect sense. But wait – what if there’s no time or budget for making high quality videos?

Taking action

There are some great video marketing tools available right now and they don’t cost the earth. My favorites are Powtoon, Poster my Wall and Biteable.

Remember that the average viewer tunes out after 10 seconds which makes it essential to create short, snackable videos. So enough with the “video is too expensive and time consuming” excuses. Start creating short, cost effective videos or go live. It’s completely free!

Check out the short social media videos from Contentworks Agency for inspiration.

The Cool Down

Social media managers in 2019 may find it difficult to cool down and switch off. With smart technology integrated into every facet of our live, the working day can seem never ending. The social media pace isn’t set to slow down any time soon so it’s on us to find (and keep) that elusive work/life balance.

End the day with a soothing activity

Ok, it’s still work, but hear me out. Your day as a SMM has been hectic. You’ve consumed gallons of coffee; your heart rate is up and you’ve got 30 minutes left. Your priority tasks are done and now you’re just flitting around trying to cram in more. Now’s the time to start preparing yourself to switch off for the day but how do you do it?

Taking action:

Watch a TED talk – Remember story time at the end of the school day? TEDX is the grownup version. Pick a subject that interests you, relax and absorb.

Listen to a podcast – A few of my favorites are Copyblogger, a weekly, short-form broadcast hosted by Sonia Simone. Also, best-selling author and entrepreneur Tim Ferris whose guests discuss their favorite books, morning routines, exercise habits, time management tricks, and much more. There are thousands of podcasts to choose from and the best thing is, you can listen to them while exercising or even closing your eyes.

Jump on a fun hashtag– This is one of my favorite ways to end the day! Jump on a fun hashtag like @Wendys #NationalRoastDay, sit back and LOL at the comments.

Watch your app usage

If you struggle to switch off in the evenings (literally), you’re not alone. Studies show that smartphone users look at apps 80-150 times a day and that’s not even the social media managers!

Unless you’re a community manager, there’s no need for you to be trawling your brand’s social media networks out of hours. Shaping up your social media in 2019 also includes having a work/life balance. But how can you achieve it?

Taking action:

App addiction is such a problem that other apps have been created to solve it. I know, it’s ironic.

Apps like SPACE and Moment can help social media managers monitor and balance screen time. There is also a trend towards using the physical versions of digital apps. For example, a pen and paper instead of a notes app or reading paperback books to avoid the digital versions. The aim is to be more productive during the day and switch off in the evening.

And here’s an interesting one. Tristan Harris, Co-Founder of the Center for Human Technology says we should go greyscale! That’s because research shows that colors are attached to emotions and priorities, especially that wretched red notification bubble that controls all social media managers! Turning your phone to black and white can reduce the urge you have to view new notifications therefore enabling a more effective timeout.

More Tips To Shape Up Your Social Media for 2019

Repurpose content – Save time and resources while improving your social media channels by repurposing content. Juicy stats from a LinkedIn post can form a series of tweets or be transformed into an eye-catching, relevant and engaging Facebook infographic.

Experiment with AI — Using AI in your social media can make your more agile. Brands who set up auto-messaging are saving time, keeping customers satisfied and improving their sales.

Ditch poor performing channels — Trim the fat and ditch the channels that aren’t performing for you. If a social media channel is draining your time and resources and bringing nothing to the table, delete it.

As with all resolutions, shaping up your social media in 2019 is not an overnight thing. It takes time to implement new strategies, see results and improve your daily social media management. But aim to start now and we’re sure you will see results by summer!

How are you planning to shape up your social media for 2019? Tweet us and share your tip.

Shape Up Your Social Media For 2019 posted first on http://getfblikeblog.blogspot.com

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careergold-blog · 5 years

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How To Choose A Hearing Aid

Just how to obtain what you need within your spending plan. This short article is focused on the UK, but can use worldwide.

This overview will supply you with whatever you need to know to allow you to select a listening devices (Hearing System) in the UK with self-confidence, the minimum of lost time and at a price which matches you.

I LISTEN TO EXAMINATIONS

A.Private vs. NHS.

If you have your hearing tested by the NHS, it is cost-free, as will be your listening device as well as batteries Physical Therapy Near Me Omaha. There are though, as you may anticipate, several advantages to having Listening devices prescribed via an exclusive 'Dispensing' company or individual. These consist of

Service: personal Dispensers have more time for you. Exclusive Hearing Tests are, however, complimentary, just as NHS tests are.

While checking out the history of your 'Hearing', which can help in providing a tailor-made option for you, the NHS will certainly not have anywhere near as much time to devote to you as a private audiologist. A typical NHS assessment last for only 45 minutes, which is not a long period of time to fix an issue (if there is one) worrying among your most important senses. 'Personal' dispensers/audiologists function under a rigorous code of technique, which implies that you will obtain the best guidance in connection with any kind of hearing examination results: if you will certainly not benefit from a Listening device, a private dispenser will certainly tell you this.

The option of Hearing Instrument is extremely large certainly from an exclusive dispenser: the NHS supplies only a very limited selection, as well as within that option it is very unlikely that the NHS can provide among the extremely tiny, very discreet 'in-the-ear' listening devices systems.

If you remain in any way unhappy with a listening devices dispenser that visits you, you can reveal him/her the door, as well as book an appointment with one more firm.

The majority of, if not all, personal companies will give a complimentary 'follow-up' solution, when you become a client. Do constantly ask if they can supply free batteries, for how long; and additionally ask what warranties apply to your hearing system. It is feasible to have up to five years' ensured with your hearing system, although in such situations the price cuts you get will be lower. However you ought to constantly ask what discount rates are on offer: there is constantly space to negotiate.

Exclusive Hearing Systems are not cheap: NHS systems are free and that also consists of batteries. The NHS, however, will rarely see you in the house, unless there are grounds that make it hard for you to leave your residence.

If you have an exclusive system, as well as encounter an issue (i.e. it does not function), there will certainly constantly be a telephone assistance solution, and also if you require a visit from your dispenser you will certainly obtain one; there will likely be no charge for this (ask initially). You would normally need to make a visit to visit your local 'ENT', or health center to fix any such trouble if you have actually listening to help provided by the NHS.

Independently, a hearing system can be suggested, delivered and properly set usually within about 2 weeks. Although the NHS has actually improved its solution just recently, it is not likely to match the service you will receive if you do 'go exclusive.'

B.Getting the very best from an examination.

Try to make certain that your ears are not blocked with wax before the day of your test. If they are, this will mean that your test is most likely to be postponed, as the visibility of excessive wax can affect (detrimentally) the results of a hearing test. Prepare to answer some 'case history' and also 'way of living' inquiries, which will certainly help the dispenser to assist you.

Attempt to have a person with you throughout an examination. This will make sure that you will be comfortable with what is claimed and also done, as well as you can always obtain a point of view from someone you understand, in regard of any questions a dispenser might pose. If your hearing is extremely inadequate, a friend/relative who is present at the examination will certainly make sure that you understand everything being said and asked of you.

Permit an hour to an hour and a fifty percent for your test. Be positive regarding it: any excellent listening devices dispenser will truly attempt to assist you. So he/she may spend a long time in order to discuss his/her findings and also best recommendations.

C.Price and also "one ear or 2".

As pointed out over, personal listening device are not economical: realize that companies supplying listening device from ₤ 99.00 are unlikely to advise you to have one of these. To obtain the best experience, you need to take into consideration a hearing aid with as numerous 'networks' or 'bands' as you can pay for. This will certainly suggest a starting cost of in excess of ₤ 599.00 for digital (or thereabouts - and that is probably for a two-channel only system). From there, and if you desire the best, the skies is (practically) the restriction: however be assured that acquiring the very best does make a large difference, as well as like many points which come with a price, you will obtain the advantage. So if you like to have the best ... ...' A lot more networks' means that the hearing aid can more precisely match a hearing disability in the different frequencies along the human series of hearing. It is a difficult subject, however one which a listening devices dispenser will certainly be happy to describe.

Please additionally know that your prescription may be categorised into 'light', 'tool', 'extreme' or 'extensive' in terms of the degree of hearing loss you may be experiencing. Listening device may be suggested also for a mild or moderate loss: this will certainly be discussed. But to ensure that you understand, even if you have only a moderate or average hearing disability, 1 or 2 hearing help may still be of fantastic benefit, as your mind may need to be worked out in order that you can appreciate the most effective hearing experiences offered to you. The dispenser is not, under such conditions, trying to trick you by any means.

II PROVIDERS

A.Small and also large exclusive companies

Firstly you ought to understand that getting inexpensive listening device (for ₤ 10 or ₤ 20) is not advised by the RNID (Royal National Institute for Deaf Individuals). These do not supply the benefits of an appropriately set tool, based upon the outcomes of a hearing examination.

Net companies tend to use the best costs. Nevertheless, a regional and well-known dispenser is a person you can be familiar with, a person you can trust and also someone that will care for your interests for as long as you like and also, most importantly, demand. The simple factor is that you might either suggest him/her, or you may want to change your listening devices( s) some years later on. Because case the solution you have obtained will influence you substantially.

The bigger firms and also the nationwide business clearly have the advantage of having the ability to give their solutions over a much bigger geographical location. One benefit might be that you can access their solutions when you are away from house. Understand that several of these nationwide companies are, and some are not, listening to help experts; and though you might not always see the exact same dispenser, they are readily available at the very same location week in, week out.

This is an option you have to make for yourself. Certainly, if you want to undertake greater than one hearing test, you can after that make your very own contrasts; however his may be a little tedious, and can suggest investing fairly time having your hearing evaluated. Nevertheless, a hearing test is a totally painless procedure.

B.Code of Practice

The Wellness Professions Council strictly manages the 'dispensing' of private listening device. If you have any type of queries, click on: http://www.hpc-uk.org/

C.Home check outs.

Several dispensing business now have high street retail outlets. Residence gos to, however, need to be available to you. Either way, it deserves scheduling a visit in order to be sure that you will not be wasting your time.

As pointed out over, it is in some cases simpler to book a home browse through from a personal dispenser: not least since they can organize this faster than can the NHS

Do not forget to attempt to have a relative or good friend with you for your hearing test.

III CHOICE

A.Style

The NHS has a tendency to supply only the 'BTE' (behind the ear) listening devices( s). The private sector may well recommend this kind of system for you, yet not since (similar to the NHS) it is the only thing readily available. Your dispenser will certainly constantly discuss the factors for his referrals; however he/she will always talk to you initially to find what you might, as well as might not, be prepared to use in regards to dimension and also style. If your hearing prescription can be satisfied, you may have - independently - the smallest, most discreet hearing tool you pick.

The even more significant hearing impairments will, nevertheless, limit the choices available to you. Once more, your dispenser will certainly clarify this.

As an extremely basic rule of thumb, for the smaller sized as well as extra 'invisible' the listening device, the rate will certainly have a tendency to be greater. Clearly market pressures play a part in this (need, supply and aesthetic personal cnoice), but there is additionally a production element involved. I.E. the innovation will have to be made to fit a small space, which have to not only stay practical as well as dependable (an essential element of the cost), yet must also conveniently & appropriately fit a customer's ear.

Digital or Analogue? Most listening device recommended today are digital. They supply clearer noise, as well as can be configured a lot more precisely to match a hearing loss. Digital listening device often tend to be a lot more costly, yet their advantages warrant this. A dispenser will certainly explain the difference in better information if you are interested.

B.Options

You might want any kind of variety of optional additionals, which include different programmes for different listening atmospheres. You might desire the use of a 'remote control'. You may even desire a hearing system, which immediately considers the sound of the environment in which you locate on your own, and also is immediately able to change program to match that listening setting.

You can currently begin to see why the costs of some hearing aids, which at once might have looked amazingly high, are in fact rep of the advantages as well as convenience (as well as quality) they provide.

Some of the bigger business will certainly be able to provide listening devices with settlement choices, and/or extensive settlement terms. If this is something you would take into consideration, after that ask about terms either before (ideally) or throughout your examination.

C.You

Your hearing aid dispenser will always provide you 'finest advice': it is part of the code of practice to which all exclusive dispensers must stick, and also part of the value of his/her solution.

So while it is likely situation that this recommendations ought to be considered while you are with your dispenser, and it is definitely quite real that 'the quicker you have a hearing system, the quicker you will have the ability to habilitate on your own to it", the decision always rests with you. Listening devices dispensers exist to aid - yes, also the private ones.

VERDICT:

We believe that this guide will give you with the very best details (ammo?) to assist you get the very best on your own. It consists of valuable details which would certainly take days, potentially weeks, to research. Our suggestions is to buy the very best that you can afford, and also if that is absolutely impossible, then most likely to your GP, who will refer you to the NHS solution. It is your right, after all.

If you are over 65, then please be aware that you are probably on a list somewhere, as well as you might well receive deals from 'dispensing' firms &/ or individuals. They are not like the 'normal suspects": i.e. the common phone call centres, because they will certainly take no for an answer, and also you will certainly NOT be asked to "press 1 for this", and "2 for that" etc

. Nevertheless, if you do find yourself having problem holding conversations in noisy areas, or turning up the TELEVISION, then a hearing examination is a beneficial, instructional as well as pain-free experience; as well as always bear in mind - it is cost-free. Now you understand exactly how to choose a hearing aid in the UK, or elsewhere.

Check out listed below Hearing Aids Omaha to figure out a lot more.

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