#you are not going to be able to write the greatest mafia movie that has ever existed

[lesbianshepard]

me reading a post about non-existent fictional mobsters from a movie that has never existed

[maxwell-grant]

Vincenzo: The Gentleman Villain Reborn

Long before there were loudmouth buff guys in spandex, there was the gentleman villain.

There once was a time when the gentleman villain, whether a gentleman thief in the Raffles or Lupin mold, or murderous arch-criminals like Fu Manchu and Fantomas, organizations like Les Vampires, and even in-between figures like Rocambole and Judex, was the coolest thing in the pop culture block. The figures right around the corner of Baker Street, when Nick Carter and Sexton Blake and any billion old serial detectives weren’t quite cutting it. Their time was not to last long in the spotlight, as the pulp heroes consolidated domain in the 30s and then the superheroes took over, but every now and then, they return in various forms, never fully gone. But I’d dare say I’d never seen a gentleman villain story quite so bold, so modern, so dynamic and so gloriously over-the-top in pride over it’s existence, until I began watching Vincenzo.

Vincenzo is BADASS and I don’t use the term lightly. Not just the titular character, but the show itself. It’s currently a couple episodes short of the finale and you should stop everything you’re doing or watching and go watch Vincenzo. It’s been an utterly glorious ride from beginning to end with no shortage of great characters, terrific writing, great relationships and jaw-dropping moments as every episode succeeds in topping each other in WOW HOLY SHIT factor. It’s a shot of adrenaline and storytelling excellence to the eyeballs and you don’t have anything better to be doing right now than watching this.

I mentioned a while ago that Black was a show that, besides being also terrific in quality, captured my interest as a Shadow fan specifically because I saw in Black what I believe is the heart of The Shadow as a character: an embodiment of evil, motivated and created and warped by social catastrophe and strife, set loose to punish true evil in order to protect humanity. In that regard, if Black is where I find the heart of The Shadow, Vincenzo is where I find the spirit of what I like about The Shadow as a series: Cathartic urban fairytales where an extraordinary agent of change, armed with incredible cunning, sleight-of-hand and combat skills, rises above a dark background to command a folk brigade of ordinary people who reveal themselves to be extraordinary through their newfound purpose, to right the wrongs of society’s predators, by being better at their tactics than they are and turning their tools against them. 

I’m gonna spoil it a bit under the cut but please go watch it. I cannot praise this show enough and I’ll do my best to try.

Vincenzo centers around the titular character, Vincenzo Cassano, an Italian lawyer who works for the mafia as a consigliere, adopted by it’s Don at the age of eight. After the death of the Don and an attempted betrayal by his son, Vincenzo flees to Seoul and ends up taking residence at a ramshackle building called Geumga Plaza. Geumga Plaza is the hiding place of a gigantic stash of gold hidden by one of Vincenzo’s former clients, and he intends to retrieve it to rebuild his life somewhere else. Naturally, not only is the hidden room completely impenetrable, but the building is occupied. by residents who are being forced out of it by criminals working for the Babel corporation, which intends to take possession of the building. And thus, Vincenzo has to put his skills into working out progressively bigger problems, as his efforts to uncover the gold turn into a fight against Babel and it’s lawyers, as the problems take on bigger and bigger proportions. 

Vincenzo’s got a lot of what you’d expect from a k-drama at first glance. The leading man is a dashing young man, the leading lady is headstrong and stubborn, you see their romance coming a mile away and they take their damn time getting there, there’s emotional backstories that take a long time to be revealed, lots of wacky side characters and comedy interspersed with the darkest moments, a focus on corporate corruption, and so on. But it’s got an intrusion of elements brought by Vincenzo’s inclusion, such as mob drama, tonal and cultural imbalance, and the gentleman villain tropes that Vincenzo brings, as the catalyst of change whose antics backflip through action hero, romantic hero, super hero and super villain, cunning puppetmaster and gun-toting warrior alike, and start to have an effect on the world around him. His allies become stronger, more determined and effective, and the villains grow smarter and more horrid as they desperately try to avoid their own downfalls.

On paper, Vincenzo is almost a textbook example of how to craft a villain protagonist. He’s a mysterious foreigner with a hidden past and incredible skills who shows up uninvited in “our” world, who starts terrorizing and manipulating people into doing his bidding. He’s got a hotheaded and foolish investigator chasing after his every move, and frequently employs misdirection and sleight-of-hand to fool the authorities. He commits crimes and employs underhanded methods in the service of stamping out people worse than himself. He never really makes any claim of being a hero and actively rejects the notion he’s fighting for justice, but instead states he’s doing it as a matter of principle. One of the characters early on even states he gives off the vibe of a movie villain, even Vincenzo himself tells Hong Cha-Young, the female lead, that he’s teaching her how to be a proper villain. In another series, Vincenzo would be the hypercompetent sidekick to the main villain, or secretly the main villain, the lone badass that the action hero would have a tough fight against before defeating and moving on. But Vincenzo does not allow himself to be dismissed so easily. 

On the first episode, when we’re introduced to him in Italy, he’s painted as the badass to end all badasses. But the minute he arrives in Seoul, he falls for a trick at the airport and is mugged by two cabbies, and has to walk around penniless and without dignity, shouting curses in Italian that nobody understands. He has to sleep in a broken down apartment, his “taking a steamy shower with classical music playing” fanservice scene keeps being interrupted because the shower doesn’t work, and a pigeon chattering outside his window keeps ruining his sleep. 

The tenants of the building are all introduced as varying levels of unsympathetic and useless, or downright creepy. The tailor screws up his favorite suit, the chef who claims to have studied in Italy is a total fraud, there’s tenants who scare us by passing as ghosts and zombies, and Hong Cha-Young is introduced as an unlikable stooge for Babel. Vincenzo is a villain protagonist who is forced out of his grand mafia epic film, where he conducts business around lavish manors while classical music plays, and stumbles onto a korean drama, a world that operates by different rules and where no one has any reason to take him seriously at first, and gradually finds out that the difference between both worlds is not as big as he’d imagined.

It’s only at the very end of the first episode, when the neighborhood gangsters show up to terrorize the tenants, that Vincenzo starts to kick ass again, and he has not stopped so far. In fact, not just him, ALL of the tenants have gradually started kicking ass with him. Hong Cha-Young severs all connections to Babel and proves to be, as his main partner in crime, just as cunning, twice as driven, and three times as batshit and kooky. The tailor who ruined his suit turns out to be an ex-gang member capable of fending off groups of thugs with only his scissors. The creepy piano girl reveals herself a hacking genius, the zombie impersonators become incredible actors, the failed wrestler and badass wannabe becomes his most active field agent along with his equally strong wife, the chef improves his cooking and lends his restaurant as a meeting center, all of the characters, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM gradually become incredible, competent, resourceful people, really no different than they were before, it just took a little courage and pushing. 

The headstrong and foolish agent pursuing Vincenzo becomes 100% smitten with him and quickly becomes one of his greatest allies. Even the neighborhood gangsters, after being left to die by Babel and forced to start anew, quickly become some of his most loyal allies, and gradually redeem themselves in the eyes of the tenants to the point they become friends. In departing from his old family, Vincenzo forms a new one, even if never by his intention. They even all get matching suits.

This incredibly potent, human core surrounding the antics of an extraordinary figure of action is part of what used to make the Agents of The Shadow such a special, meaningful and beloved part of the series, and something every adaptation since then has been 100% poorer for neglecting. But Vincenzo does it, and does it right. I could watch a billion adventures with these people and never get sick of them. 

Vincenzo is a slick, modern take on the gentleman villain that takes many of it’s oldest conventions and provides blueprints for making them work in modern times. His plans often take a performance art-edge as he employs tactics both old-fashioned and modern, like using social media to stage an event in front of the Plaza so the bulldozers set to demolish it won’t be able to pass, or copying files and passing them to his police contact while keeping the real ones when said police contact inevitably betrays him. The tenants put all of their skills to use, no matter how unusual or seemingly useless. Every episode lays the groundwork for a smashing finale where all of the threads come together and we bare witness to a grand tapestry of karmic retribution.

The villains themselves are no slouch, and also have that modern edge that gradually ramps up. They stage discreet assassinations involving gas leaks and watches meant to burst into flames. They stack the deck impossibly against all characters. They employ masked goons by the dozens, armies of lawyers to smudge any connections between themselves and their actions, and every sector of society in covering them, from journalists publishing pro-Babel propaganda to police commissioners. The assistant of the main villain does zumba classes amidst ordering assassinations, and is often likened to a snake and a witch with her "Crystal Ball” (the name she uses for ordering assassin contacts by the phone), complete with a cowardly, scheming assistant she bullies at every turn. The CEO of Babel has a dual nature not out of place in a Jekyll & Hyde/Dorian Grey kind of story. 

The main villain is often painted as a slasher villain backed by massive corporate power, murdering people with hockey equipments and even outright named “Jason” at one point, with a tense string theme song accompanying his deeds. The show hides the villain at plain sight by using one of the most familiar set-ups of romantic dramas and the tension never stops even after he’s revealed. 

Mobster films tend to paint an idealized version of it’s protagonists, not necessarily because of a genuine love or interest with mobsters (I mean, it really goes without saying that real life mobsters are obviously not admirable figures), but out of a sense of displaying a “this is what it could be” fantasy, a fantasy where the mafioso is a dark hero who will still ultimately do the right thing and stick up for the little guy, in a similar way to how superheroes often function as police officers except, y’know, actually dedicated to protecting people. 

Vincenzo does go to great lengths to address the imbalance of putting such a dark figure as it’s hero, through showing how the situation can only be addressed by the intrusion of a figure such as Vincenzo. There’s a scene where Vincenzo and Hong proceed to explain extremely succintly to their cop ally why the “bad apples” argument is horseshit.  One of the show’s characters, someone who’s spent his entire life being the best person he could, and dedicating himself 110% percent to fighting evil even at the expense of connecting with his own family, someone who absolutely should be the hero to take down Babel, admits shortly before dying that it wasn’t enough, that it was never going to be enough, and that what the situation calls for isn’t a hero, but a monster. That monster being Vincenzo, who is not only powerful and monstrous, but commands the loyalty of people high and low class alike, criminals and law enforcement agents, to fight Babel. In his words, “the ultimate monster”, something even the world’s biggest badass cannot defeat by himself. 

On most other set-ups, Vincenzo would be pretty unmistakably the villain. But here, when he’s set up against a starkly realistic depiction of how corporations actually function in our world, depicts that Vincenzo’s ability to clear his way through goons John Wick-style is nowhere near enough, and to that end, he’s gonna have to fight impossible battles using his brains and his allies. And in the end, he defeats them, time and time again, and proves that they were not that impossible after all. 

One can only hope he’s on to something.

Oh yeah and THE PIGEON BY HIS WINDOW ALSO KICKS ASS and I will not explain how, just watch the show, I can’t do it justice no matter how much I talk about it.

[shadowthrone-ammanas]

So the first thing with the tiny Hat Kid/Borrowers AU that I came up with was that originally it was based off of the visual of a mod level I was playing where there was a lantern the size of Hat Kid. I didn’t start it thinking about the Borrowers as “humans but tiny” I was thinking of them as like Hat Kid’s species. 

So when I later decided Mu was also tiny that resulted in having Mu be also distinctly not just a tiny human and it had ripple effects on the borrower species design

So, background details: Most of the characters are still the same. However, the locations are different. Mafia Town isn’t on a little island, it’s on a larger one with both underground-undersea Metro tunnels and shipping routes. There is a large forest- Subcon- and some mountains, the Alpine Skyline, which then have a desert in their rainshadow. 

So that’s all the chapters except Arctic Cruise on one reasonably sized landmass, instead of scattered all over the planet, much more accessable to tiny Hat Kid

I’m gonna put a ‘read more’ right here for the sake of people’s dashboards. I hope that’s okay.

Borrower biology notes: inspired a little bit by ruffs and also my attempts to work out having Hat Kid, Bow Kid, and Mu as members of the same species

3 or 4 sexes in a similar way to ruffs or white-throated sparrows; about all I have pinned down is that Mu’s facial-hair-no-ponytail-and-long-bangs/tendrils/flaps combo is associated with one of them, bow kid’s no-ponytail, no-hair-flaps, no-facial-hair combo is another, and hat kid’s ponytail-and-flaps-but-no-facial-hair is a third (yes this means two of them are trans)

The Borrowers, as they sometimes call themselves, are the result of an incredibly powerful spell a few centuries back. They used to be about the size of humans, before the spell; and pretty much all of them lived on two islands.

The Mafia wanted to move to those islands, so they gathered up all the Time Pieces they could get into one spot on the island and had a sacrificial Mafia member do A Thing involving the time pieces and a great deal of other magical items to remove the islanders; faking a wild magic surge. The result was that as far as the rest of the world was concerned the entire species simply vanished, turned into these tiny little echoes,and also this was much less scary than it should have been. There is still a spot on the island Hat Kid is from that will likely have nothing grow there for thousands of years.

The Time Pieces exploded into much smaller fragments, time shards, which scattered all over the world, and the shrunken islanders started to try to adjust to their new lives. 

Which was made a lot harder by the Mafia moving in; they spread false information claiming that the tiny post-transformation islanders weren’t sapient anymore and were pests, like large mice, to be dealt with with poison and rat traps. 

Some Borrowers start using time shards to power things; others do the dangerous thing of tapping electricity from wires; others use tiny candles and other pre-electric style technology or magic.

Their society adjusts to a world where “eaten by a seagull” is a plausible cause of death, everyone can double-jump, most people can carry more than their own weight, and an umbrella is easily enough to completely stop all fall damage. Square-cube law! Luckily the magic helps keep them warm, but Borrowers still have a faster metabolism than they did pre-spell and need to eat more often. 

Amongst other details, it’s common for a Borrower to end up on their own due to being separated from their clan or having the rest of their clan die. Solitary borrowers don’t tend to last long, so they generally try to get adopted by the first clan they come across, basically just showing up and starting to pitch in; there’s always something to be done.

Also Borrowers are a little more scent-focused than humans, most noteably being more able to notice the scent of borrowers than a human is able to notice the scent of other humans; this is really helpful for lost borrowers finding other clans.

Hat Kid is the kid of someone relatively important in a borrower community on the other island. They treated her poorly/were neglectful, so she ended up falling in with, basically, the local borrower criminals. (Not many places have enough clans living closely enough together to really have borrowers that are criminals by borrower standards; stealing from the taller folk is not considered a crime but rather just survivial, and attacking the taller folk is basically considered lunacy.)

Eventually Hat Kid, at age 11 (okay actually older, like 16 or so, but she maps to a human 11 year old), decided to fake her death and entirely leave her old clan. Due to various shenanigans including her not being out to her old clan, the fake murder, a real murder done by Hat Kid, and paranoia she managed to be accused of murdering herself and got exiled which is a Big Deal. She stole the one local aircraft (that she had helped build) and fled, exploring far beyond her family’s reach (especially now they didn’t have a timeshard-powered aircraft).

In between her ‘ship’, her skills with an umbrella and movement, audacity, and sheer dumb luck Hat Kid managed to live alone for quite some time, eventually landing in Mafia Town due to an incident involving a Mafia with a bugnet, losing the time shards that powered her ship in the process. She meets up with Mu and is like. FRIEND! Sure, I’ll join up with you!

…aaaaand then Mu wants to use the time shards that powered Hat Kid’s airship thingy to hurt the Mafia more. And Hat Kid is like, no, no I need those. Result: Mu leaves in a huff, Hat Kid is alone again. 

Hat Kid’s ship, by this point, has been repaired enough and has enough time shards to fly a little, so she goes and recklessly lands on the local above-ground train and hitches a ride, ending up at Dead Bird Studio. Grooves finds her and is like, this borrower-mouse is wearing decent clothing and a hat. Whose escaped pet is this.

Hat Kid is semiverbal but definitely literate and manages to get her hands on a writing implement and explains that she is nobody’s pet. The Conductor and Grooves decide to hire her for movies.

Directors: a sapient borrower-mouse who wants to be an actress and is actually good at it just when we need a new actor and fresh movie ideas! Perfect!

Hat Kid: This weird clan has lots of infighting and mostly trades in movies? I get to be adopted and to use my skill in acting for things that aren’t lying to people? Perfect!

So that’s a good month or so for Hat Kid, with the culture clash never being clarified, whoops. Both the Directors think Hat Kid is going home to her family when really she’s doing stuff like looking for that time shard she thinks might be present or fixing up her ship more or getting food that isn’t provided by the Directors. (At least they recognize that providing lots of snacks to the tiny child is a good idea.)

Then the movies (both of them) are finished, and the directors are like. Thanks for working with us. There’s no more movies for you, kid, stop showing up to filming there’s no more filming involving you. (Grooves never really started seeing Hat Kid as fully a person and is pretty cruel about kicking her out from his side of the studio, too.)

In the Director’s culture: “Seriously kid contract is done, the movies you starred in have no more filming, wouldn’t mind working with you again later but uh we are not currently working on a movie right now why are you here?”

In Hat Kid’s culture: “We’re exiling you. Again.“ 

So she goes to Subcon Forest. Yes, this is stupid and risky. Hat Kid does not care.

Snatcher sees this absolutely tiny person and is like. You’re too small to be a threat. Also too small to have a soul worth the effort of eating it. 

So he hires her to do stuff like detail work on repainting the Subconites’ houses and other stuff a tiny person can do. 

He proceeds to assume she’s being cuttingly sarcastic when she calls him "dad” or “dadcher”. Instead of 100% serious. (Her perception of this as an adoption is helped by Snatcher making an effort to dig out old books and old memories on what of the local flora and fauna is edible and provide Hat Kid with fresh local food, which is a Special Effort as, well, subconites and dwellers feed off of ambient magic and abstract stuff while Snatcher eats souls.)

After maybe about two weeks he’s out of work for Hat Kid and tells her so, like, “No more work for you, kiddo. You’re free to leave.” Then is mystified when Hat Kid leaves in tears. Like what did he do wrong??

I have no clue what Hat Kid would be up to in the Alpine Skyline. Something. Probably trying to impress random nomads and goats and not understanding why they’re impressed but still leave her. 

Eventually she finds out that Mu has gotten her hands on time shards and is managing to use them to set places on fire. Hat Kid goes to stop her because no!! You do not just indiscriminately set Mafia Town on fire! Even aside from all the tall folk living there you don’t know how many borrowers are living in the walls! 

So she stops Mu, then realizes that pretty much everyone watching her has either ‘exiled’ her or has been known to hunt borrowers before (eg the Mafia) so she flees down a subway tunnel and lives in the Metro for a few days before meeting the Empress. By this point Mu’s very public yelling about how the Mafia were killing her people has gotten on the news, so she’s aware that at least some borrowers are sapient and people, and is like. You work for me now.

Hat Kid is like, my greatest fifth chance!

Eventually, though, Hat Kid manages to annoy the Empress. By this point she’s gotten used to the idea that something is wrong with her, people really don’t care about her, and at any point she could be abruptly betrayed and exiled, so she panics, assumes she’s going to be kicked out very soon, and ends up deciding to preemptively betray Empress by stealing her time shard. Empress is throughly baffled and also very upset and puts out a bounty of a few thousand or so on Hat Kid’s head; time shards are valuable damn it but also…only one?? she’d been known to bring back five or six at once? 

(Time shards aren’t very tangible to most people by default. Borrowers can interact with them always and make them solid to everyone. Hat Kid could’ve easily reversed that and forced Empress to use magically charged tongs to pick up her time shards and hire another borrower to fix them but she didn’t. The longer Empress thinks on this, the more confused she gets.)

At some point during Hat Kid’s time in the nyakuza Mu ends up adopted by Cooking Cat. She shows up on TV sometimes, joining in an episode with stuff like running commentary while perched on CC’s shoulder or butting in to help frost cakes or whatever. 

Hat Kid’s confused upset post-nyakuza wandering ends up leading her to where the Conductor is just coming back from a cruise. Conductor is like LASSIE I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER! Hat Kid is like ??? and then decides that maybe…maybe kicking her out was entirely Groove’s idea and Conductor still likes her? Maybe?

And then in the ensuring confused discussion Conductor begins to realize the culture clash. Conductor ends up adopting Hat Kid, and later takes in Bow Kid as well because she was separated from her family and saw Hat Kid riding on Conductor’s shoulders and just sort of. Jumped on his other shoulder, startling him, and was like “HI”.

At some point Hat Kid and Bow Kid end up guest starring alongside Mu (they made up) on Cooking Cat’s show. Possibly several times. Hat and Bow are adorable and while they don’t really say much unscripted and it’s usually sentence fragments they’re still popular for a mixture of Adorable and their sense of humour eg Bow Kid insisting that duck is actually “quackers” in a dish involving duck and cheese to set CC up for a terrible “cheese and quackers” pun. 

Mu, Hat Kid, Bow Kid, and the TV Trio end up working together a lot to try to change things for the better for the Borrowers. Meanwhile Snatcher is off doing his own thing, having heard of the culture clash (Mu explained it on TV at some point) he works out a schedule for when Hat and Bow are staying with the Conductor and when one or the other or both are staying with him. He ends up with a few borrower clans living in his forest (they followed Hat Kid) and is just like, sure this works. 

I greatly admire people who can just come up with AU ideas and build on them and then come up with a whole story for the AU. I love that it has a happy ending too. :)

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 WORST Movies Of 2018!

As everyone is talking about their favorite and least favorite films of last year, I’d much rather take a look at what came out two years ago! This is what I do every New Year, get used to it. And keep in mind that I haven’t seen every film from 2018, so as bad as I’m sure Sherlock Gnomes and Pacific Rim: Uprising are, I haven’t gotten around to them. If you’d like a list of every film I have seen, I have them listed on my Letterboxd: https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1HnDnQ4ibO82ryM9lOCGgw1FZhVLdC4SZ

#10. Fifty Shades Freed On my 2015 list, I didn’t even bother putting Fifty Shades Of Grey on it because I thought it was absolutely hilarious! On my 2017 list, I placed Fifty Shades Darker at the very top for its lack of even the basics of what makes a decent flick, notably there being no real plot. So I guess I’m meeting this franchise in the middle by putting Fifty Shades Freed at the tenth spot for just how batshit this movie is. Shit kinda just happens randomly with little to no reason while also not being funny in the slightest. In fact, large segments of the film is kinda boring, particularly the sex scenes in which there are so many that by the 20th time, you’d just get used to it like a jump scare in Winchester. Really, the biggest reason this is only at #10 is because Fifty Shades Freed has Freed us all from this series, assuming that a film adaptation of Grey isn’t made. And that’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever given to one of these movies. #9. A Wrinkle In Time I once heard someone justify Disney’s live action remakes by saying they help fund their more unique film escapades like Nutcracker And The Four Realms (which barely didn’t make the list). The problem with that is that I don’t want those ether! And considering how Solo and The Rise Of Skywalker turned out, maybe Disney’s live action department should just stick with Marvel movies. Honestly, I don’t completely remember why I left the theater after seeing A Wrinkle In Time so angry, like legitimately pissed off. I remember the girl who looks like one of the Mean Girls being treated like a member of the Losers Club, how terrible the child acting was, how even worse the adult acting was, how annoying everybody who wasn’t Chris Pine was, and how that little kid was named Charles Wallace because the characters said it at least a million times! Considering how angry I am just writing about it, I’m guessing it was a combination of all of those elements being wrapped up with a pretentious bow. Honestly, A Wrinkle In Time was a humongous waste of my time. #8. Show Dogs It’s a bad sign when the movie starring Bojack Horseman yelling at Ludacris dog is only at #8 on my list. The big reason for that is because this is so terrible that I had to break down laughing at times. Not because Show Dogs is genuinely or ironically funny, it’s just so batshit insane that I had to laugh. Almost like a defense reflex: like if I wasn’t laughing, I’d end up jumping off the roof. The plot is crazy, the acting is crazy, the whole fucking idea is crazy! I’d like you to stop and imagine Will Arnett with the straightest face possible yelling at a dog voiced by Ludacris that nobody can actually hear in the middle of a very serious police station about the dog fucking up an undercover job and somehow not laughing your ass off. That is what it was like watching Show Dogs. You’re welcome. #7. Slender Man I think people really downgrade how good horror has been lately. I know that in a world of Insidious: The Last Key and Truth Or Dare, it’s easy to be pessimistic. And I think people also dismiss the greatness the internet has had on modern pop culture. Considering how bad things like Daphne And Velma and Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle are, I kinda get it. In reality, these tend to be the outliers among a lot of greatness, but after seeing Slender Man, I’m starting to think similarly. I was one of the only people who was actually excited about this movie because I’m young enough to remember a time when Slender Man: The Eight Pages was the scariest thing in the world and after seeing how well Hollywood treated the character in Beware The Slender Man, I was really hopeful. Little did I know that Madhouse Entertainment had one of the least interesting and least scary horror movies I’ve ever seen with boring characters, a monster that’s barely in the movie, and a script that’s closer to Rings than it is to its source material. I really hope this’ll go the way of Ouija and Annabelle and end up having a really good followup or else Slender Man will be a huge blot on the legitimacy of the internet. #6. Snake Outta Compton I’m gonna be straight with y’all, I have been doing a pretty bad job at keeping up with horror B-movies lately. I mean, I did watch The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time and Leprechaun Returns but those were mostly just mediocre, even within the context of the rest of their franchises. So when I saw the title Snake Outta Compton, I knew I had to watch it expecting something really stupid and funny as all hell. Instead I got a boring and uninteresting barely even an attempt at cinema. I really hated this film, it’s just such a boringly dull film where little to nothing ever happens and I hated every dumb second of it. The terrible rapping, the awful effects, the horrendous acting, everything in snake Outta Compton sucks and I hate it. #5. Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom Remember that god awful polar bear movie starring Rob Schneider from a few years ago… yeah, they made four of those. Normal people would say the first Norm Of The North was the absolute bottom of the barrel, I say “No!… It’s Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom,” and even more suicidal people would probably say it’s Norm Of The North: King Sized Adventure. If you thought the animation in the original was bad, you’ve seen nothing! This is so bad that I’m not even sure it should be considered animation! This is so bad that it makes Duck Duck Goose look like The Grinch! This is so bad that they couldn’t even get Rob Schneider back! The plot, it’s like this is one of those straight to DVD Disney sequels that were made up of episodes of conceled TV shows except why would anyone try to make Norm Of the FUCKING North into a TV show! But apparently it made money considering how (and I’ll repeat this again) there are four of these! Maybe the immense failure of Arctic Dogs will stop Entertainment Studios from making any more. #4. The Thinning: New World Order Speaking of sequels that’ll make the originals look like masterpieces, we’ve got Logan Paul’s magnum opus, coming straight outta that Japanese suicide forest. A film that tells you that a country made up of the smartest 95% of citizens are stupid enough to not catch on to the pretty obvious government plan going on in this universe. Even more so, apparently presidents to be are allowed to just make major laws that’ll arrest about 50% of the population before being sworn in as president. But even more so, I’m to believe that Logan Paul of all people is smart enough to escape these poorly conceived concentration camps. This is a key example of suspension of disbelief gone too far. I don’t believe for a second that this world actually could exist. And I want everyone reading this to remember The Thinning: New World Order after seeing what I put at number one that even liberals can make terrible movies too! #3. The 15:17 To Paris No shit, this is easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. No joke, no sarcasm, the Clint Eastwood trainwreck that is The 15:17 To Paris is by far one of the worst movies of the decade… and it’s only at #3 on my bottom 10 of the year. Let me explain. Where the absolute bottom of the barrels of the year are total slogs that I wouldn’t be able to stand watching again, this is actually really fun to watch. Immediately after seeing it in theaters, I wanted to see it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fever dream. In every conversation I have, I recommend this movie because it has to be seen to be believed. Of all the films on this list, this is the only one I’d actually recommend to people. No other film has the balls to portray three normies with ADD talking as boringly as possible taking selfies in Venice for 30 minutes for no goddamn reason. In no other movie will you see a bunch of comedians try and do serious roles that they had no right being casted in. When I went back to school and brought this up with my film nerd friends, every one of them had a different story of watching this. My god, please watch The 15:17 To Paris so that we can convince Clint Eastwood into making The 15:18 To Paris. #2. Gotti Let me tell ya, Gotti is one of the wurst felms ya’ll evar see! Who in da hell convinced John Travolta that he culd do serious roles! But in all seriousness, this movie sucks. I’m not super familiar with the story of John Gotti, and by that I mean I’ve never even heard the name before seeing this film. And I’m pretty sure that to even get what’s going on in this, you’d have to see a 3 hour documentary on the guy beforehand or else you’d be incredibly confused the entire time because I know I was! Don’t even ask me what happens in Gotti because I have no clue. It goes all over the place with different characters doing different things at different points in time and eventually, I stopped paying attention! I do remember that there were about 20 characters named “John,” John Gotti only kills one guy though I’m pretty sure that as a mob boss he’d kill more, and I have no idea how this mafia makes money. Oh, and this convicted feline is apparently also Jesus Christ. I’ll tells yas, ya can live 100 yeers an neva see a moovy as bad as Gotti. Before we get to #1, let’s do some runners up!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom I wanted so bad to put this on the list because as a pretty big Jurassic Park fan, I can fairly say that Fallen Kingdom is easily the worst film in the franchise. If only because of that dumb ass twist at the end with that kid I kinda forgot even existed. Or just for those annoying ass comedic reliefs that are consistently useless. Or just because on a base filmmaking level, this movie sucks. Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate Listen, I’m openly and proudly bisexual, so I get how important it is to get good representation out there in the film industry. And I also get why a lot of the Ru Paul: Drag Race fandom has latched onto this series. But Jesus Christ guys, drag queens can do better and they deserve better. From Russia With Hate is definitely a step in the right direction with it being way more interesting and fun than the first Hurricane Bianca… but come on guys! These aren’t good movies! Just watch more Drag Race, it’s much better. The Happytime Murders Disney, please let Muppets Now be good! The puppetry artform deserves better than this garbage! The Happytime Murders is a movie in which half the jokes is that a puppet is jizzing a lot. Honestly, my biggest beef with this film is that it doesn’t even get to the heart of what people love about the Jim Henson style of puppetry, notably the fun. Look at most of the cast, they are very humanoid compared to Kermit The Frog or Fozzy Bear. This movie is, first and foremost, not fun. Bob Lazar: Area 51 And Flying Saucers This is my nomination for worst documentary of the year. It’s just annoying to me that this guy can get away with lying to so many people without any repercussions. In fact, he gets this whole documentary that’s basically sucking his dick the entire time! I went in expecting something along the lines of Behind The Curve, a doc that takes an even stance at looking at its crazy subject matter but in a respectful way. In reality, Area 51 And Flying Saucers isn’t even in the slightest being totally on Bob Lazar’s side without questioning his all knowing wisdom for a second and is n’t respectful in the slightest for the intelligence of its viewers! Fuck this doc! A Simple Favor This is my nomination for best worst movie of the year. A Simple Favor is a crazy film with a cast and crew taking it weirdly seriously for a comedy, all with super monotone voices. None of the actual jokes are genuinely funny but lots of them are ironically hilarious. Granted I was very high while watching this, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best state of mind to be in while watching it! And did I mention how nobody acts during this but rather just say their lines monotonely! Loved it! God’s Not Dead: A Light In Darkness This was the year Christian propaganda got boring. I was so excited when I went to see I Can Only Imagine in theaters as my first theatrical Christian film experience only to be totally disappointed when it turned out to be pretty dull. Even more so when, later on in the year, the newest installment in the world famous God’s Not Dead franchise, the same one that first brought upon this new age of Christian based filmmaking that’s brought me so much joy before, turned out to be similarly dull. There was a split moment when a character states, “Jesus Christ was the original social justice warrior,” when I was brought back to life with its own stupidity, but it turned out to be fleeting. Not outrageous enough to be put on the list, but too outrageous to be any good. So this is how God’s Not Dead ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper. The Meg And speaking of boring, The Meg has to be the most boring shark movie ever made. A film that feels like it lasts for days and in which no real stakes feel like are in play. This has got to be the most boring and dull and uninteresting and BORING movie of the year! And considering how boring of a year it was for film, that’s saying a goddamn lot! Mary Poppins Returns I feel like I went through an arc of my own while watching this. I went from, “this isn’t bad,” to, “okay, this is a little too much like the original,” to, “why the fuck am I watching this?” Mary Poppins Returns feels like one of the Disney live action remakes because it’s basically just a shittier version of the original with absolutely no good reason to exist let alone to watch, especially compared to said original. And the climax makes absolutely no sense with the logic of the film universe; she can literally fly! And by god, does this feel like anything but Mary Poppins. Blockers Listen, I get that this film is sex positive and that’s a really great thing and all the actors are really trying their best. But it is all in vain for this film with a really unfunny script and that’s kinda important for a comedy. Sometimes Blockers can get a chuckle out of me because of how over the top it can get at times but those are just outliers in a mostly mediocre movie that got built up too much because of how much positivity is in this. Proud Mary Proud Mary is the perfect example of a film in which just because someone can do it well, doesn’t mean everyone can. Ever since Quentin Tarantino has been making movies like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill, throw back action films have been really cool to see. Then, all of a sudden, the director of London Has Fallen had to come around and remind everyone that they can’t all be winners. Mostly dull dialogue between characters I don’t care about waiting for the action that isn’t even all that good. I was really hopeful that Proud Mary would be fun, but it’s anything but. #1. The Trump Prophecy Listen, I get that when I say that a movie literally titled The Trump Prophecy is the worst film of the year, it comes off as if I’m making a big political statement but believe me, I am not. Politically, admittedly, I am pretty liberal but I’m not really a political dude. But I do know terrible filmmaking when I see it, and believe it or not, a film about a crazy firefighter who gets a vision in his sleep from a god orb that Donald Trump must be president might not be very good. In fact, fuck this cynical, piece of shit, taking advantage of conservatives, monotonely acted, with no love or passion put into it, goddamn movie! As much as I didn’t like any of the movies I’ve mentioned on this list, it’s clear someone, anyone, was passionate about making them. But considering how clearly the director never asked any of his actors to do a second take, no love is clearly put into this. How cynical, how shameless. As someone who does genuinely love the art of filmmaking and would adore the opportunity to make a relatively big budget movie myself, the fact that something as lifeless as The Trump Prophecy gets to be put into any theaters really pisses me off. Say what you want about The 15:17 To Paris, at least it had its heart in the right place. Say what you want about Gotti, at least John Travolta was obviously passionate about the project. This has nothing and is easily the most hatable film I’ve seen in years!

[daughterofsinsloth]

Hi! It's stated in your bio that you analyze fics, so I just want to hear about your fic recs for Soukoku? Preferably fluff, but other genres are also fine since the ship is full of angst and smut lol. Thank you!

 Hello hello anon-chan!! How are you? Mm! It does, thank you very much for asking! Fluffly fluff heh? (my ultra favorite!!!!!!) Okay! Here are some fics! Enjoy ^^

Of sleepless nights and warm embraces by Konoha79 : 

this fic.. aaah this one is a true gem!  just amazing! its about Chuuya working really hard do he can have some free time will his boyfriend Dazai on Christmas Eve. this one has protective!Dazai and cute!Chuuya in.its really well written and the writer made their emotions appear well. another thing that I like is that the writer with only a few sentaces put a nice history behide and you dont need more informations. they write about an episode and thats it, without confussing the reader. the characters are build well and the bit of crack in there is really funny. Dazai is gently, something that we dont see often, and Chuuya is soooooooo cute, that gets your soul full! ITS A MUST READ FIC!

Oops by Witheryvine :

another good fic. in here Dazai and Chuuya are secretly married, but it slips off Dazai, while he trys to play the matchmaker to shin soukoku in front of EVERYONE! Mostly crack in here, but the fluffiness is located at protective!Chuuya Kouyou I can explain dont kill him and at how Dazai treats Chuuya. its short but full at the same time. well writen and the writer made a great job giving us some skk background. also also kunikichuu friendship!!!! THE BEST!

Captured by Witheryvine:

(AU) another short story by the same writer. Photographer!Dazai capturing lawmajor!Chuuya on camera and some good flirting!! well writen, cute and of course sweet.  its … “soft” and calm. love it.

Shared Gravity by writingfromtheshadows  and ZODIACHUUYA:

(AU/multe-chapter) okay  this one anon-chan! they start as academic enemies to enemies friends with benefits to lovers/couple. well writen. they portrait skk’s inner thoughts and fears really weel and realistic. this is like some friend of yours talking about their story and if this is not GREAT i dont know what its gonna be. they take turns with the chapters as Chuuya and Dazai PV, but its in perfect harmony. doesnt have much smut, if not at all. this one is a favorite coz it shows how you fell in love unexpected, hard and uncontrollable. Gin is the “come on you idiots you love its other!” in a cool way. its great that we can see her, coz not many give her spot time. im telling you this fic is GOLD. and leaves you with a healing feeling. complite

the opposite of alone by TheGreatCatsby:

short fic, cute fic. Chuuya can’t sleep, so he decieds to texts Dazai. its really sweet fic. Dazai immediately runs to were Chuuya is and they are all sweet couple but not really. its more about the feelings that are there but they cant get out, yet its all there for people to see.its an amazing fic and the best thing it is that it gives you the feels from the first part! also we are talking for thegreatcatsby, of course its well written, well structured and soooo satisfying. 

This by sodenoshirayuki_23:

okay anon-chan hear me up.this fic here is one of a majestic kind of story. BUT! THE WRITER!!!! has sooooooooooo many good fics that i couldnt choose. her angsty fics are masterpiece one by one. and please, i  beg you go read “heavy”; its angsty you die but you go happy. HIGHLY RECCOMENDED.  this one, tho, is AU and an mpreg (sorry if you are no into it) and its sooooo sweet and fluffy you could die. the children are sskk and spoiler later kyouka . well written.really nice story. fluffy fluff with fluff on top. what more can i say? its just sooo cute. the characters here are really interesting. and the episode is great. MUST!!!

Margin Of Error by izanyas:

its not fluff just to be clear. but its SO HIGHLY RECCOMENDED THAT YOU FLY TO ANOTHER PLANET. its AU,mafiaboss!Dazai anddoctor!Chuuya.After a failed assassination attempt on his person, Dazai finds himself recovering in an unfamiliar place: a hospital where criminals abound, staff and patients alike, and Dazai’s own doctor is a little too attractive. when you finish this, run to the writer’s other fics like Usen Bolt. they are soooooo talented. not so fluff but GREAT nonetheless. ruuuuun! ah! when you see Owe No Debt you will know that you reached the paradice.

This Time by stargazerlilith:

another MUST READ writer. this on this cuteness overload. well writen. another with workaholic!Chuuya and great boyfriend!Dazai. sweet and fluff compinate to an amazing resolt. read read it!. side note:their other stories and awesome! i storngly reccomend “mine”, which is smut with feelings.

Mother by WhisperingWinds99:

here we have skk relationship from the start. the fluff is of course in the relationship, but mostly coz we see the relationship between Kouyou and Chuuya. she is the ‘mother’ in Chuuya’s life more than the ane-san. its fluff coz you she skk get more mature and you see Kouyou growing old with them. well writen, good story. GODESS KOUYOU IS BACK! 

The art of paint by  Konoha79:

this one i promise you that its the most beautiful thing i have ever read. its skk family. canon universe, skk is married, Chuuya finds a child and everyone is oppose, but they keep him. this takes place two years later and shows us an episode of their life as famly. God its beutiful. when i have a bad day i read this. anon.. anon! read this! its really great. well writen, well build, well partial. you have a clean picture of their life and feelings. its sweet, its cute, its fluff and its a must. honestly,in my opinion,this is one of the best skk fluff stories i have read.

Now let me talk a bit about SoukokuParadise:

she is the fluff goddess of the skk fandom. she writes fluff, and a damn good ones. check out her works; they are great, well writen and well build, some character development and a lots of cuteness. i will talk for her favorite “How to Hate Nakahara Chuuya” and hear me up anon when im telling you that its great! its about Dazai taking care of Chuuya after ep. 21. as the writer says, Dazai speaks with actions (she keeps the characters close to the canon and that's really good, makes them more realistic), small words that speak loud of his true feelings. i really like how she  writes Chuuya. he is unconscious but his reactions are being given to us by Dazai. thats really interest and i havent see many writers do that. interest PV. spoiler Chuuya calls Dazai “Osamu” and im dead. also the endingggggg

lastly but not least!

Insomnia_Productions :

yet ! another one writer that I cant decide which one fic is the best. they are all GREAT and you should read them all! like ALL! the ones I LOVE LOVE LOVE are:

 The New Year’s Tradition (AU)

Not Safe For Work

“Ah… I Think We’re In What They Call A Hate/Love Relationship.” (AU)

Disney’s: The (Totally Not Little) Merman (AU)

How To Obtain A Child And Husband Entirely By Accident

  one is greatest than the other. well writen, like watching a movie. you “get into the character” and you are so into it that you cant leave them after the 3rd time you read them. trust me, this are the fics I always go back reading them over and over again and its always amazing. like the first time you read them you will be soooooo satisfied and sooo happy. perfect I tell you.

EXTRA: kiss me on the lips(and show you love me) by photography_tea:

this one is also a favorite of mine. its smut but more than that its making love. it has character development and realization of their feelings. crack and fluff combinate into love that leads to the unlimited epitomy of fluff, the lovemaking. being one with the other. loving and being loved in return. the writer did an amazing job at showing how in their mafia days skk find a small light to keep moving. oblivious!chuuya and hungry!Dazai are often a subject to write but here they are on another scale. their “play” shows more about their weird relationship than they would admit.  its a hell of a great fic! must read!

also! if you would like you can check my fic : Can you sew my suit? by alchemy_omi:

it has fluff in it with a bit of crack and liiiiight angst. also sskk are in it. its about their wedding. Dazai is the best man but he went for his suit the last moment. not being able to find a tailor shop, Akutagawa send him to his good friend Chuuya and the two fell in love. (AU/multe-chapter) 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand thats it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh

hope that you like my reccomendetions anon-chan and happy reading!! please tell me your opion about them and ask me again if you are happy! I gave you fluffy suggestions but you can ask me for another gender if you want!

have a wonderful day and take care!

bye bye :)

[writeawayharry]

The Kindergarten Teacher (Daddy Harry, Part 4)

For previous parts, click here.

The excitement in the air was so abundant it was almost tangible. You were glad you decided to schedule a little party for the day; with the way your students were anticipating summer, you doubted they would sit still long enough to get some learning done.

It was the last day of school, a day that left you feeling a mix of emotions. It was so gratifying to see the once shy children who didn’t know anyone play freely and joyously with each other. But of course, you were going to miss them dearly. And it looked like they were going to miss you too.

Throughout the course of the day, your students came up and spontaneously wrapped their little arms around your waist, declaring how much they loved you. It nearly brought a tear to your eye.

There were only minutes to go in the school year, and all but one had said goodbye.

 “I don’t have to tell you goodbye,” little Darcy Styles said, hand over her mouth like she was sharing a secret. “We’re going on vacation tomorrow!” Her eyebrows wiggled excitedly.

 “Oh yes, Darcy. We will be seeing lots of each other this summer.”

 She smiled broadly and ran to her classmates excitedly. You held your breath momentarily, hoping she wasn’t going to tell them all.

 You didn’t know why you still felt self-conscious over your relationship with Darcy’s father. It had been steady for a few months and you wouldn’t be surprised if a few parents put two and two together by now. But still, you were relieved—today being the last day officially meant that you were no longer dating the father of your student.

 With the clocking nearing three o’clock, you gathered your students on the carpet and read them one last story. By the time you were finished and ready to dismiss them for the summer, quite the crowd of parents had already gathered in the hall. And one of them was your boyfriend.

 “Be safe, everyone! I’ll miss you!” you called as the kindergarteners trickled passed you.

 You smiled as Darcy ran into her daddy’s arms. However, you weren’t the only one smiling. A few of the single mothers—and some of the married ones—were practically ogling Harry. You doubted it was the first time.

 Harry’s eyes met yours and he rolled them playfully. You shrugged. Your boyfriend was one hell of a man. 

And he was all yours.

 “So, Ms. Y/L/N,” Harry said, leaning towards you, his hand intertwined with Darcy’s. “It looks like you’ll be free for a few months. Any plans?”

 “Mmmm, not really,” you teased. “Just going on vacation with a few special people.”

 Harry laughed for a moment before his lips pressed firmly into yours. The kiss was deeper than you expected it to be, considering the setting.

“Harry, geez, there still may be children around,” you told him red-faced.

 Harry looked sheepish. “Sorry, whenever you’re around I tend to get tunnel vision.”

“Smooth, Styles, smooth,” you blushed, stepping back into the classroom to gather your things.

 “Bye-bye school,” Darcy sang as the three of you walked hand-in-hand to Harry’s Rover.

 …

 “Wow! I am so excited to see the Mafia Coast!” Darcy clapped her hands.

 You and Harry exchanged an amused look. Your fellow first class passengers didn’t bother to hide their looks of confusion.

 “I’m glad you’re excited, Darce,” her dad said, “but we’re not going to the Mafia Coast, we’re going to the Amalfi Coast.”

 “It’s a good thing, too,” an older man a few rows ahead of you said. “If you went to the Mafia Coast, you might never return.”

 You let out an awkward shuffle. At least Darcy didn’t hear that comment; she was too engrossed in the picture books you had packed for her.

 “These damn flights are so damn long,” an elderly woman spoke loudly. She was wearing a tracksuit and a white headband. Her mouth was surprisingly potty. “Bill, did you bring my iPod?”

Bill turned out to be the man who spoke earlier. “No, Iris, I forgot. Sorry, dear.” He didn’t sound the least bit apologetic.

“You can borrow mine,” Harry offered.

Iris turned around, and her eyes widened appreciatively at his appearance.

“What a sweet young thing, and handsome too,” she winked.

 Harry blushed. “There’s a new album I just downloaded. It’s called Harry Styles Greatest Hits. Give it a listen.”

 “Who the hell is that? I’ve never heard of him. Eh, he’s probably crap. All the new music is these days.”

 Harry gave you a quick look before the two of you burst out laughing. Reluctantly, Iris popped in the headphones. You could see from the little screen that she was indeed listening to Harry. He just had such a way with people.

 Harry and you talked a bit once the plane took off until you got drowsy. He began to caress your scalp and within minutes, you were fast asleep on his shoulder.

 You were gently woken from Harry when the plane landed. Wow. You had slept for eight hours. The two of you went to carefully rouse Darcy as well. Surprisingly, Bill and Iris were awake. She popped her headphones out.

 “This chap’s not bad. Hey Bill, get me a kiwi, will you?”

 …

 You had never been to Italy before, and the Amalfi Coast was exceeding any of your expectations. Deep blue water surrounded the mountains and hills covered in rocks and white and clay homes. It was stunning. And the company wasn’t bad either.

 If you didn’t know if your boyfriend was big in Italy, you got your answer. Everywhere you went—whether it was a shop or a restaurant or the beach—fans came up to him, saying little more than ciao, but very passionately. Even the shades did nothing to hide his charisma.

 You leaned back in your white bistro chair, content and relaxed at lunch. Harry spoke as he dipped a piece of bread in olive oil.

 “So, Ms. Y/L/N, Darcy, how does an afternoon at the beach sound?”

 “Beach, yeah! I love beach!” Darcy cheered.

 “So that’s a yes from you.” Harry laughed, ruffling Darcy’s hair.

 “What about you Ms. Y/L/N?” she asked you.

 “Sounds good to me. And by the way, Darcy, you can just call me Y/N,” you offered gently.

The little girl had yet to call you anything other than what she was used to. However, so was Harry. And that was more than a little odd.

 …

 You and Harry were lying on a chair in the sand while Darcy was hard at work on a sand castle. Harry’s torso was bare, his shirt buttons open and you ran your hands along the hot surface. You smiled as you watched Darcy’s hair blow lightly in the wind.

 “I can’t see!” Darcy complained. “My hair is in my eyes!”

 You rummaged through your bag until you found a hair band. “Come here, little one.”

 Slowly and gently, you twisted Darcy’s fine hair into a simple braid. When you were done, you gave a soft kiss to her cheek.

 “Thank you Ms. Y/L/N. I look very beautiful now.” Darcy raised her chin in the air.

 You laughed, looking back at Harry. He looked surprisingly tender.

 You leaned back into his hard body and put a finger to his chin. “What’s wrong?” you whispered low enough so that Darcy wouldn’t hear.

 “Nothin’,” he answered in a thick voice. “That was just the first time a woman other than Gem or my mom did Darcy’s hair.”

 You bit your lip and ran your hands over Harry’s chest. “I’m happy to.”

 …

 Harry was quiet that night at dinner. At least you thought so; it was hard to tell, considering Darcy wouldn’t stop chit-chatting. She was barely eating her pizza.

 “Everything okay, Harry?” you asked him in between bites of your ravioli.

 “Mmm hmm, yeah.” He seemed a little nervous, but you didn’t press.

 “Ready to go, Darce?” he asked about a half hour later. “It’s almost bed time.”

 You frowned. It was only just after seven o’clock.

 Darcy’s eyes lit up. “Oh yeah! Is this the night I go to bed early?”

 Harry winced. “Yes, Darcy. Remember our secret?” He gave her a knowing nod. Darcy covered her mouth with her tiny hands.

 A Styles Secret. Okie-dokie.

 …

 You had just taken off your heels in your bedroom of the villa Harry had rented when he walked in from putting Darcy to sleep.

 “So, Ms. Y/L/N, what do you want to do tonight?”

 “How about a movie?” you asked easily. “And what’s with you calling me that?”

 Harry went to his suitcase to retrieve something. “No reason,” he shrugged, picking up a medium sized box. “I just wanted to use it up considering I don’t know how much longer I—or anyone—will be able to call you that.”

 A chill came over your body. “What does that mean?”

 Harry didn’t answer with words. Instead, he walked towards you and got down on one knee.

 Oh my god.

 He opened the box and revealed the diamond.

 Oh my god for real.

 “I want you to be Mrs. Styles, if that’s okay with you.”

Tears spilled over as Harry continued to profess his love for you.

 “Yes!” you interrupted. “Yes, Harry, the answer is yes.”

 He stood up and pulled you into his arms, spinning you around. You squealed and giggled and nearly came undone when you saw that Harry’s eyes were wet as well.

 He gently threw you onto the bed and began kissing your face, your lips, your everything.

 You didn’t even notice the little girl enter your room.

 “Did she say yes? Did she say yes?” Darcy practically screamed.

 “Yes!” you laughed as Harry tickled your stomach. “I said yes!”

 “Yes!” Darcy repeated, running towards the bed and nearly knocking the two of you over.

 All situated on the couch, Harry wrapped his arms around both of his favourite girls.

 “I love you, Y/N. I love you Darcy,” he said, face full of joy.

 “I love you Darcy, I love you Harry,” you said, meaning every word.

 He grabbed your hand and squeezed gently. And just when you thought the moment couldn’t get better, Darcy Styles went and said this:

 “I love you Daddy, I love you Mommy.”

 Your heart nearly burst, fresh tears springing to your eyes. How in the world did you get so lucky to be her kindergarten teacher?

This concludes The Kindergarten Series! Thank you so, so much for reading! Daddy Harry has become my new favourite thing to write, and there will definitely be more to come! I can’t thank you enough for the response to this series! I love you all. x

[loadnfc639]

Fast Travel In Mafia 3

Below is a list of characters found in Mafia III. 1 Mafia III 1.1 Major Characters 1.2 Minor Characters 2 Factions 3 Mentioned 4 Faster, Baby! 5 Sign of the Times 6 Stones Unturned. (.-) 4 out 5 stars. TLDR Top notch driving, yet no fast travel system which can be annoying. Drags on towards the end. Shouldn't mandatory side quests be considered mainline story quests. America wasn't/isn't great for everybody so have a blast giving it to some of your contemporaries crappy ancestors, or them directly.

Can You Fast Travel In Mafia 3

Can You Fast Travel In Mafia 3

Cheapest Way To Visit Europe

Is There Fast Travel In Mafia 3

Here are some mods fór Mafia 3.Car Customizations.No Back View Match / Speedometer.Minimal Hud.Ragdoll.Automobile Controls.Naughty Doggie HDR Light In Tonemapping.Switch Period Of Time.Manual Law enforcement Searchlight and Sirén.ToggIe Hud.M2M3 - Máfia 2 Major Menu SongMafia 3: Contemporary Cars (mod),Modern cars can become discovered in the games documents, I merely modded them in to end up being capable to drive them. They had been clearly certainly not meant to be interacted with and likely utilized for recording cutscenes. Bugged textures, mainly no noises, barely any harm versions and no functioning doors. Pointless but fascinating to discover.' Originally submitted by:Is quite unhappy to notice that the Mafia 3 group has better tips than the designers and can be for free!Doesn't this apply to basically all games these times and not just Mafia 3?

For Mafia III on the PlayStation 4, a GameFAQs message board topic titled 'This game needs fast travel!'

Most games nowadays have a huge community producing mods either increasing or enhancing the games.Developers, I'michael quite certain, have got a lot of concepts of what they would like to place into the sport, but since this costs a great deal of cash, ultimately, some concepts possess to become remaining out.And everybody have different tips of what they would like in a game, so designers might have one idea, and some neighborhood member another. And I think it't excellent to find that games today are open plenty of for mods. Initially posted simply by:Is very unfortunate to notice that the Mafia 3 group has much better tips than the designers and is for free!Doesn'capital t this apply to fundamentally all video games these times and not simply Mafia 3? Most games nowadays possess a large community producing mods either extending or improving the video games.Designers, I'meters quite specific, have got a lot of ideas of what they want to put into the sport, but since this expenses a lot of money, eventually, some concepts have to be still left out.And everybody have got different ideas of what they want in a game, so designers might have one concept, and some neighborhood associate another.

Today I'll be showing you how to fly in Mafia 3 using this Mafia 3 mod for the PC called Noclip. Noclip allows.

The world isn't so large that it needs fast travel. I understand in games like skyrim where the world is large and horse is fastest way of travel, but in mafia where the fastest cars can go over 100 mph, it's just not needed. Also, it's not like you have to slow down near the cops, just don't hit anyone near cops.

And I believe it'beds excellent to notice that video games today are open more than enough for mods.This video game Is various since it does not have a lot of functions that everybody believed that would become in the game. Originally posted simply by:Doésn't this apply tó essentially all video games these days and not really simply Mafia 3? Many games nowadays have got a massive community making mods either increasing or improving the games.Developers, I'meters quite specific, have got a great deal of concepts of what they would like to place into the video game, but since this costs a lot of cash, ultimately, some tips have got to become left out.And everybody have different suggestions of what they wish in a video game, so developers might possess one concept, and some area associate another. Install amiga os 3 5 winuae torrent pirate bay. And I believe it's i9000 great to observe that video games today are open good enough for mods.This sport Is various since it lacks a lot of functions that everybody thought that would become in the video game.' Leave out me from thát please, I'meters not missing any features.Anyhow, the absence of features must end up being applied to all video games where people create mods, which will not make Mafia 3 any different. And ultimately the programmers are usually the types that made the choice of what features they desired to place in the sport. The absence of some function could become as simple as the programmers didn'testosterone levels need to include that function in the video game, Probably didn't match the eyesight the had for the video game. Video thumbnail maker for mac.

I performed Mafia 2 (and 1 for that matter), therefore still, make sure you wear't speak for me by saying everyone.Look up any game on youtube ánd you will find movies of glitches and bugs. 80+ hrs and I rán into one motorboat being stuck inside the drinking water which can be the just game busting glitch I got, so for me, l can't say I got the amount of problems as you will find in a youtube video.The game for me can be not anymore repitive than many other video games. The greatest problem with these open up world games is definitely that it consists of a great deal of generating back again and on, but you can say the same with games like GTA or Just Trigger.The only AI issues I've seen, is arbitrary people strolling out on the road in front of you, just to cease in the middle of the street, rather of shifting apart from your vehicle. Originally posted by:I performed Mafia 2 (and 1 for that matter), so still, make sure you wear't talk for me by saying everyone.Appear up any game on youtube ánd you will discover video clips of glitches and pests. 80+ hours and I rán into one fishing boat being trapped inside the water which is usually the only game busting glitch I got, so for me, l can't state I experienced the amount of problems as you will discover in a youtube video.The game for me is not anymore repitive than many other games. How can anyone state this is definitely as repeated as any additional game?

Take GTA V for example, those missions were fun for the many component. JC3 will be repetitive yes !, but at Ieast it's fun, it's nót repetitive in thát scale as Máfia III is: drivé a long wáy, kill a féw dudes, drive á long way báck x 100. The devs were too lazy to actually include a fast travel choice in this gamé:D Like á cab actually. That wouldn'testosterone levels take much period.And the basic functions that shuold be in this game are missing. It't not about having more functions just, it's i9000 about carrying on with the series fundamental factors that have been presently there since starting.

You can't really take miracle for example away from The Elder Scrolls collection and state:'hey, we're doing something fresh, mods/upcoming up-dates will add that back in for you men!' Mafia as a gaming series places up a several goals (as every series of video games does), this video game failed many of them. After the initial awesome take action, this game is just dull revenge story, full of copy-paste tasks, and i can'capital t even modify my t-shirt before the dIc comes:DI purchased the collectors edition, and i repent it, that has been 130 euros tossed to them. And i got a game that's Iike gta III. Simply a slightly better images.

Originally submitted by dancefly:here are some mods fór Mafia 3.Car Customizations.No Rear View Looking glass / Speedometer.Minimal Hud.Ragdoll.Automobile Controls.Mischievous Doggie HDR Lighting D Tonemapping.Transformation Time Of Day.Manual Law enforcement Searchlight and Sirén.ToggIe Hud.M2M3 - Máfia 2 Main Menu SongMafia 3: Contemporary Cars (mod),Modern vehicles can end up being discovered in the games data files, I merely modded them in to be capable to drive them. They had been clearly certainly not meant to be interacted with and most likely utilized for recording cutscenes.

Bugged textures, mainly no noises, hardly any damage models and no functioning doors. Useless but interesting to see.' ' How to set up mafia 3 scripthook? All i would like is to end up being able to make use of the 'Cash script mod' ánd the 'all weapons script mod', help me please.

Welcome toMAFIA III is certainly the most recent installing of the MAFIA collection. This Subreddit provides a place to trade about the advancement, information and media. Launch Day ReviewslGNMetacritic (PC), Critic: 55Metacritic (PS4/Xbox), Critic: 60SteamGamespot,Note: Chart may become out of day as testimonials come away.Please read through the rules and take pleasure in your keep!1. Respect other customers and their views. Racism and insults will not really end up being tolerated.2. Format the title of any write-up containing potential spoilers like this illustration.

Be certain not to place the spoiler in the name!Instance of a good Title:'SPOILER I simply learned something insane about Lincoln!' Moreover tag the post as 'NSFW' and select the 'Spoiler'-Sparkle. Failure to tag spoilers correctly will effect in a bar.Use this to hide spoilers in the remarks:If you fórmat the spoilers Iike this:Spoiler: (#t 'Lincoln is certainly a shape moving lizard')The text message in the brackets will just be visible if you shift your mouse cursór over it:SpoiIer:3. Submitted content material must end up being directly associated to the MAFIA franchise.4. No memes/rage comics or identical low high quality posts. Maintain conversations in their particular mega-threads.5. Blog/YouTube spam, or junk e-mail in general is not allowed and will be removed.6.

No posting/requesting unlawful download hyperlinks, splits, or some other repacks. Conversation is alright, links are not really.7. Follow the general!Take note that all of the over is subject to moderator acumen and may become become a huge hit by messaging us.We try to make the moderation óf this Subreddit ás clear and democratic as feasible, so feel free of charge to send out a message if you possess any recommendations or feedback.We will not eliminate unpopular remarks. This is usually a place for discussion after all. Right here and right now there you will study a evaluation complaining that the game doesn'testosterone levels have got fast travel.

Fast Travel In Mafia 3 Release

This is a fairly lazy critique imo. Not really just in the literal sense.I can know that sometimes people really have got a really busy life-style and they want to reduce down on period consuming duties in-game, and just jump between the great bits. But for a game like this l can't find why I would want to do that.The cars (and the music) are usually outstanding. New Bordeaux is usually fun to discover. Every region has a different feel.

And most importantly, it doesn't take you hours to generate from one end to the othér,merely 5 to 10 minutes. Unless you really feel appreciated to abide by every traffic regulation or you're scared to phase on the gasoline and float into the sides. I wear't thoughts the lack of fast Travel either, but I think they do a shitty thing with those various goals.

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I put on't get why everyone of those vehicles and Moonshine vehicles wants to become in the Bayou. I get why the vessels are presently there, apparent, but they could've spread those vehicles and vehicles even more around the chart. How does this relatie?

Well, sometimes when trying to maximize a racket profits I just think like fuck, ain'capital t gonna drive all the way to the base of the map for a ridiculous truck transport to generate more kickback so I can purchase more weaponry. Those several times I do believe about fast Vacation, not hoping it, but it could'vé produced inspired me even more.

Each design has special traits that create generating it a unique encounter. This indicates not really all vehicles are fit for all reasons, therefore you'll want to change cars usually, based on the landscape and the job at hands. The best models are pretty uncommon, and knowing where to find them will conserve you a great deal of time. In this guide, we're heading to show you the greatest car locations in Mafia 3.Mafia 3 Best CarStealing vehicles will be one of the fundamental activities in the sport. You'll do it all the period.

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On the downside, it attracts unwanted attention. This means you'll often wreck a vehicle obtaining rid of the wanted position you obtained by robbing it in the initial place. Messy company. If this can be a problem for you, you might want to make investments in Burke's perk that enables for stealthy car-jackings.Aside from heading fast and having tight control over your vehicle, there are usually other reasons to appear for the greatest car. Some of them are usually achievements like the following:.

-While traveling, performed a 50-meter jump and arrived on your wheels. -Made a 180 degree convert at high velocity without hitting anything. New Bordéaux Drifter -While traveling, drifted for at least 5 secondsYou gained't become capable to unlock these with yóur run-of-thé-mill station truck. You'll need a correct muscle car, something with even more power than you know how to make use of. Something like thé Samson Drifter ór Potomac GT.

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Thése are among the greatest vehicles in the video game, along with spórtscars like the Dé'Leo Capulet ór the Samson Duké.ImageNameLocationSpeedAccelerationDe'Leo CapuIetFrisco FieldsVery fastGoodSamson DukéFrisco FieldsVery fastGreatPotomac GTBarcIay MillsVery fastGreatThe greatest method to get these can be by dangling out in Frisco Fields. That's the expensive part of city, therefore that's where the flashiest cars usually spawn. There'beds furthermore a quaint little shed in the Bayóu where a solitary parked car spawns. If it's i9000 not really one of the types you'd including, you can simply eliminate yourself and anothér one will spáwn.

The Mafia series has seen multiple hiatuses between games, with eight years between the first two and six between the second and third. It has now been four years since the third entry, but 2K Games is set to remake the first game as part of a new release known as Mafia Trilogy. While that version is not out for a few more months, they recently released the remastered Mafia II along with including the already existing Mafia III that is now known in the collection as Mafia III: Definitive Edition.

When Mafia III was originally released, there was certainly some controversy about the change in setting. While the prior two games had the traditional Italian mafia akin to Scarface and The Sopranos, Mafia III was taking a different route by having an African American protagonist that is not part of the traditional mob seen in the first few games. https://loadnfc639.tumblr.com/post/655844989264412672/yanmar-portable-diesel-generator-manual. Instead, Lincoln Clay is a soldier that has just returned back to the fictional New Bordeaux that is based on New Orleans from Vietnam and agrees to help some family and friends with the Haitian mob that have come knocking. Soon after he tries to work out a debt to the Italian mafia that his surrogate father has accrued. This ends up going very poorly and leaves Lincoln wanting revenge against mob boss Sal Marcano and his mafia family. This leads Lincoln to having to gather a unique crew of different partners to help take them down, which is the central focus for most of the game.

Can You Fast Travel In Mafia 3

The story is largely carried by the incredibly captivating Lincoln Clay and the other characters around him, with a solid story surrounding them. Mafia III: Definitive Edition was not afraid to tackle much more intense and dark themes than in the past, which still holds up well now four years later from the original release. While it is definitely a different style than the first couple games, the story is very much worth experiencing here and may be the best of the trilogy in that area.

Where Mafia III suffers most though is the very unoriginal game structure as you play through Lincoln’s story in a once again large sandbox open world experience. The original city of New Bordeaux this time around is larger than both of the first two games combined, but that kind of is a hindrance in some ways as you’re consistently having to drive across the map for new missions. New Bordeaux itself is split up into nine different districts across nine chapters, each of which have a story mission that is split up for you to complete. The repetitive nature of these missions though is where the game really struggles.

Within each district, you have to take over both of the rackets that are found in that location. Once you have successfully done this, a third mission within the chapter will open where you have to take out the person in charge of that district. There is a little more to do in the later chapters, but the biggest problem is that the structure is especially tedious and will have you growing tired of everything in no time. This feels like a course correction from the emptier world found in the previous games, though they may have gone a bit too far in the other direction.

On the plus side, Mafia III does introduce side missions this time around, a major flaw of the previous game. While not available right away, you’ll eventually get access to side missions that branch off from the main story. These include things such as helping out the underbosses by completing tasks for them to gain favor. While they aren’t that most involved overall, they are better than having nothing extra to do like in Mafia II.

The gameplay itself is really nothing to write home about either, albeit a little more refined here. One of the somewhat frustrating elements of the previous game was that you had to press A to leave cover every time, but now you can move much more freely when trying to move between cover or be stealthy. You have the option to adjust aim assist to the level you prefer, which can make the game a bit too easy. There are plenty of guns to choose from here though, with the ability to set them to a wheel and choose between them.

Compared to its predecessors, Mafia III has a major edge in the visuals department. The recent Mafia II: Definitive Edition was definitely more polished visually, but there is still no real comparison between it and Mafia III. Mafia III: Definitive Edition looks great all around, with the character models and environments looking much more realistic. The performance on Xbox One was pretty solid most of the time, with some slowdown here and there when too much was happening on screen. Thankfully, the character movement in general felt much more natural than in the prior games.

While Mafia III: Definitive Edition is literally supposed to be the same game with a new name and all DLC included, somehow Hangar 13 completely messed up one aspect of this game in the included update. Mafia III was given Xbox One X and PS4 Pro support after the release of the game, which added HDR and 4K support to the game to make it look even better. In what is a baffling mistake, somehow this latest update has completely removed this support, now giving you no way to use 4K on consoles. This is something that absolutely has to be patched in, but there is no way it should have ever happened in the first place, especially when this was a free “upgrade” for those that already owned the game.

Mafia as a series has always had a great soundtrack to match the time period, but Mafia III takes this to another level entirely. With the game being set in the late ’60s, the music was ripe for the picking from the era and Hangar 13 did not disappoint. These include songs from artists such as The Rolling Stones, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and Johnny Cash, as the game offers over 100 different songs in total. The stellar soundtrack will constantly have you taking longer routes in your vehicle just to finish an entire song, which at least somewhat helps the fact that the game lacks fast travel.

Mafia III: Definitive Edition somehow managed to improve in one way by including all of the prior DLC, while also taking multiple steps backwards by somehow removing support for Xbox One X, even as a mistake. The story of Lincoln Clay is still enthralling and handles some very dark themes quite well, but the lifeless open world structure found in Mafia III: Definitive Edition really hinders what could have been the best game in the trilogy.

The Verdict

While not anywhere near as glitch ridden as the Mafia II remaster, Mafia III: Definitive Edition adds nothing more than the previously released DLC along with the very strange removal of Xbox One X support that was added to the original release after launch. Lincoln Clay’s story is still well worth experiencing a first time, but there is no real reason to venture back to New Bordeaux with this latest release as part of the Mafia Trilogy.

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Can You Fast Travel In Mafia 3

Mafia III: Definitive Edition

Available On: Xbox One, PS4, PC

Published By: 2K Games

Developed By: Hangar 13

Genre: Action-adventure

US Release Date: May 19, 2020

Reviewed On: Xbox One

Quote: 'While not anywhere near as glitch ridden as the Mafia II remaster, Mafia III: Definitive Edition adds nothing more than the previously released DLC along with the very strange removal of Xbox One X support that was added to the original release after launch. Lincoln Clay's story is well worth experiencing a first time, but there is no real reason to venture back to New Bordeaux with this latest release as part of the Mafia Trilogy.'

Cheapest Way To Visit Europe

Is There Fast Travel In Mafia 3

Review Policy

[thefutureisplywoodbikes]

Harte Rates, 2020, #1

I have watched some films.  Here are the films I have watched.

1. What We Do in the Shadows (2014) - 8/10

Good cast.  Good fun.  Does well with it’s budget, sparingly employing effective special effects and makes good use of the mockumentary format.  Liked it, but didn’t love it.

2. Manhattan Baby (1982) - 5/10 This was originally planned to be one of Fulci’s most expensive films but having had it’s budget cut in half during production what you get is a fairly pedestrian disappointment.  Some good photography and a smattering of half-decent effects work suggests that things could have been better had the producers not fucked him over, but ultimately it’s a pretty forgettable affair.  (As evidenced by the fact I can’t really remember what happened)

3. My Cousin Vinny (1992) - 8/10

Not sure if it was watching Home Alone and The Irishman at the tail-end of last year that prompted me to re-watch this, but fondly remembering it from my childhood I wanted to see how it held up.  It holds up well.  Yes, it’s implausibly plotted, but it’s sharply scripted the result is an amiable romp with some great performances, not least Marisa Tomei’s Oscar winning performance as the titular Vinny’s long-suffering but supportive fiancee.

4. Little Women (2019) - 8/10

My first trip to the cinema this year and a very pleasant way to start; this was a welcome antidote to the gloom and horror that 2020 was offering up in the real world.  It’s a refreshingly nice film.  It reminded me a bit of Terms of Endearment but less overtly sentimental.  Good performances all round from a strong ensemble, with Florence Pugh and Saoirse Ronan standing out as especially accomplished.  Timothy Chalomet is also good and avoids being annoying with a character that easily could be.  Less immediately likeable than Ladybird for me, the film is smartly constructed and directed with assurance and restraint and a good eye for colour.  Well worth a look.

5. It's My Turn (1980) - 5/10

I mostly watched this because this it was a 1980 film featuring Michael Douglas and Charles Grodin that I’d never heard of and because I sometimes like to watch obscure stuff I’m not invested in to fall asleep to.  It’s not exceptional but it has it’s moments and by focussing on the male stars to start I’ve done it a bit of a disservice.  Jill Clayburn, whose name I know but am otherwise largely unfamiliar with, is the real star of the show.  Directed by Claudia Weill from a script by Eleanor Bergstein (who’d go on to write Dirty Dancing) you get a refreshingly nuanced and complex take on the romantic comedy with an intelligent and accomplished woman (Clayburn plays a Maths professor) at it’s centre and, like watching Varda (though to a far lesser extent) you are reminded of how much more interesting things can be when women are able to be in control of telling their own stories.  The plot’s mediocre and there’s too much music throughout, but the script has some decent moments and there’s more emotional maturity at play in how it handles it’s relationships than you tend to see in mainstream cinema.  It’s certainly not great but might it satisfy your curiosity if you keep your expectations low.

6. La Dolce Vita (1960) - 9/10

Unquestionably a masterpiece, but having seen 8 1/2 last year it’s hard not to look at this as to some extent a rehearsal for that film, which has a more even tone and benefits from the director’s injection of self reproach and whimsical humour.  There’s still lot’s to love here though and i found myself checking off traces of it’s influence in much that has come since; Antonioni’s depiction of Rome in L’Eclisse, the depth of contrast and camera movements of Cuaron’s Roma, Altman’s drifting focus and, seemingly, the entire basis of Sorrentino’s career.  (That last part may be unfair, I’ve only seen The Great Beauty and Youth)  It also seems to me to be in part a check to the romanticised depiction of Rome that featured in Roman Holiday, where the paparazzo and exploitative reporter are loveable rogues (and American ex-pats) who ultimately comport themselves honourably.   Fellini’s Rome, while still bristling and bursting with glamour is far more cut-throat.  Structured over 7 days in the life of Mastroianni’s jaded journalist, the film largely luxuriates in the heady Cosmopolitan glitz of life among the rich and famous in 60′s Rome the film also ventures to some surprisingly dark places and though repeat viewings may change my mind, it felt it little uneven in tone on this viewing.  Also, while the film features a parade of great actresses it doesn’t really give them much to do other than present themselves for adoration and/or degradation, something that 8 1/2 also improves on (though arguably marginally)

7. Motel Hell (1980) - 6.5/10

A better than average little 80′s horror with competent direction, some visual flair in it’s use of colour and it’s tongue in it’s cheek.  Oh and a chainsaw battle, if that sort of thing floats your boat.

8. Daisies (1966) 10/10

Fucking magnificent.  An anarchic, inventive delight full of charm, wit and compelling imagery.

9. Five Fingers of Death (1972) - 6/10

Aka King Boxer.  I thought I’d seen this before but I’m not sure I had.  It’s decent enough; it’s better plotted/paced than a lot of kung fu films, if you’re not already a fan though I’m not sure this’ll convert you.

10. Sweet Smell of Success (1957) - 9/10

Burt Lancaster shines as the black-hearted Broadway columnist J.J. Hunsecker manipulating Tony Curtis’s press agent into a downward spiral of dark deeds in pursuit of J.J.’s favour.  Blackly cynical, it sits well along-side Billy Wilder’s Ace In The Hole and the aforementioned La Dolce Vita for the disdain it shows toward the less scrupulous side of the journalistic trade, and has a wonderfully mean script full of barbed jibes and menace.  Also of note is the beautifully textured photography of pioneering cinematographer James Wong Howe, who also shot Hud and Seconds among many, many other films.  It’s a shame more contemporary films don’t portray the rich and powerful with as much unashamed venom as this delivers.

11. Who Saw Her Die? (1972) - 6.5/10

A better than average Giallo; the plot’s still clunky and overcomplicated but the imagery is good, there’s some decent stunts and effects and there’s a great score by Ennio Morricone that elevates it.

12. El Topo (1970) - 8/10

I last saw this many years ago as a midnight movie and fell asleep for an uncertain amount of time in the middle so it was nice to see it in full.  Actually, nice probably isn’t the word.  While there’s amazing imagery and a grand meandering and maniacal story, the massive quantity of dead animals that feature in the film (and were killed exclusively for it’s aesthetic) dampened my enthusiasm somewhat for it’s artful expression.  There’s some amazing scenes and the idiosyncratic allure of Jodorowsky persist, but I’m in large part glad they don’t make ‘em like they used to.  The Dance of Reality is a far friendlier and engaging showcase for his creative spirit, as is the excellent documentary Jodorosky’s Dune

13. Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff (2010) -  8/10

A solid little documentary about one of cinema’s greatest cinematographers.  The man whose technicolor wizardry was instrumental in bringing the Red Shoes, A Matter of Life and Death, Black Narcissus to life.  Also shot The African Queen and Rambo: First Blood Part II.  Well worth a watch to spark or rekindle enthusiasm for catching up with Powell and Pressburger if nothing else.

14. Les Demoiselles de Rochefort (1967) - 9/10

An infectiously gleeful musical, where even a slightly baffling subplot about a serial killer doesn’t manage to dampen the mood.  Wonderfully colourful, what it might slightly lack in choreographic finesse it more than makes up for with gallic charm and sly artful direction that teases and tortures its audience with the knowledge that it possesses and the characters do not.

15. Winter Light (1963) - 10/10

81 bleak beautiful minutes of gorgeously shot, pristinely directed cinema.  Devilishly well written and wonderfully acted (Gunnar Björnstrand and Ingrid Thulin are particularly excellent) you get a similar sense of the philosophical and theological searching you get with Nuri Bilge Ceylan delivered in a fraction of the time. 

16.  F/X2 (1991) - 5/10

Somehow they managed to make a sequel more ridiculous than F/X Murder by Illusion.  A sillier re-run of the original has Bryan Brown returning as “Rollie” Tyler and managing to foil corrupt cops and mafia henchmen with the questionable aid of Bryan Dennehy’s detective ineptitude and a bunch of McGuyver style bullshit.  Also, overlong.  No-one needs 109 minutes of this.  It saddens me somewhat that this was directed by Richard Franklin, whose 1981 film Roadgames is a taut little Ozsploitation delight.  Watch that instead.

Right think that’ll do.  See you in a couple of weeks.  (*fingers crossed*)

[delwray-blog]

YOU’VE BEEN LIED TO

AMERICA YOU’VE BEEN LIED TO Written here is a critical re-examination of presumed historical facts and existing historiography. America you’ve been lied too, history has been a lie and has become the engine of man’s demise. Corrupt beliefs have become the truth. “Mainstream History is Entirely False” What we’re up against is bigger than any country. In fact, it’s bigger than all the countries in the world. The ruthless powers that be have decided that only they can declare what is true and that it is against the law to disagree with them. The human mind is being locked up for the final time. Amazon, Google, and Facebook are all Jewish entities, and all prohibit objective discussion about the lies told about the World Wars. Utterances that describe the events of World War II that are not approved by the Jews are now called “hate crimes”. Jews most definitely cannot prove what they say about WWII — but we can. Six million! Baloney! 296,081 is Germar Rudolf’s 2003 count, following the International Red Cross count in October 1980 of 273,905. How many billions of dollars have the Jews stolen from the world with this falsehood they have inflicted on everyone with their incessant and fallacious media propaganda? Think about the 66 million, mostly Christians, that the Bolshevist Jews murdered in Russia from 1917-1957. Jews can’t prove there were gas chambers at Auschwitz or anywhere else. The thousands of hysterical Jewish testimonies about concentration camp horrors remain totally refuted by the International Red Cross visits during the war which found German treatment of prisoners far superior to the way Americans treated the Japanese prisoners they interned during WW II. Think about why Ursula Haverbeck, age 89, would risk prison to tell the real story of WW II, in which three Jewish controlled countries, Britain, the USSR, and the USA conspired to eliminate the last viable challenger to Jewish financial control of the world, which was the German economic miracle devised and deployed by Adolf Hitler. Would Mrs. Haverbeck do this because she was insane, or because she was telling the truth? It is even more puzzling, why would the German government insist on jailing an old woman who questioned a simple detail of history unless they were trying to cover up a gigantic lie? For those with eyes to see, the answer is clear. Think too about Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gadhafi, both of whom treated their citizens much more kindly than the Jewish-run countries of the West. They followed Hitler’s example of treating their own people well. And they were murdered by the Jewish Deep State using their favorite weapon, the American war machine. Most Americans simply have not realized that all contemporary media, movies, music, TV, even books are controlled by Jews. Those outlets not owned by Jews are statistically insignificant and generally ignored. But now, the Jewish onslaught of trying to erase independent thought from the world has intensified. A whole category of history has been expunged by the Jews from all the electronic media they own, which is practically everything. And honest people are being lined up for incarceration and silence so the Jews may more easily make their fabricated history become the de facto history of the world. Imprisoned by lies Everyone in the world is now prevented by financial blackmail from even contemplating the truth. Jews control all your money, no matter how many non-Jewish intermediaries exist between you and them. Even as you read this, the vise grips clamped around your head begin to tighten. Play ball and you have nothing to worry about. Blow the whistle on these child-eating maniacs and you’re going down hard. They’ll kill your children. A Congressman whose questions were a little too sharp just resigned because of that threat. Remember what happened to Paul Wellstone. Revisionists tend to be idealists. They observe objectively. What they write tends to be clear. They don’t make things up unlike the purveyors of the lies they seek to revise. I’m like everybody else. I believed the propaganda I heard most of my life (or at least since the late 1960s). Took me to middle age to be jarred into realizing I believed in some obvious lies. What if telling the truth will cost you your job? What if your wife and family call you a beast and throw you out of the house for harboring such horrendous ideas? Jews own your soul because they own your money and also have the ability to take it all away from you at any time. They want you to be afraid, to tell the truth. As a replacement, they want you to believe their truth, which is invariably at variance with what actually happened. Both World Wars, 9/11, the fouling of the sky with chemtrails, the poisoning of humanity with Glyphosate, and the capture of the world’s media, these are all Jew poisons you ingest daily. God help you if you start telling people that Adolf Hitler was actually the good guy. It won’t matter to them that it happens to be the truth, because they’re so scared of what will happen to them should they choose to stop living their lie. Mainstream history is entirely false In case you don’t know by now, the Jewish truth is an oxymoron. There is no such thing existing in the world. The Jews’ holiest books command Jews to lie to non-Jews in all situations. Now they’ve swindled the money of every country in the world, which all dance to the puppet’s tune while their leaders steal most of the money. The penetration of Jewish lies in the world mind is nearly complete. Most of what people have been tricked into believing is false. Regarding the empirical facts of World War II, we can prove what we say and they can’t. They can only cast aspersions, trap you in blackmail, or if all else fails, hire some hungry poor person with sociopathic tendencies to murder you. If your offense is somewhat less bothersome, they use the courts, the law, the legal profession, the cops, and the TV stations which will tell everyone what a bad person you are because you disagree with the Jews. In the European Union courts, when it comes to Holocaust disputation, they say the truth is no defense. They put you in jail merely for attempting to tell the truth. How silly is that? Pick an adjective. Insane would be a good one. Jewish scripture urges Jews “to kill the best Gentiles”, which they do, constantly. A game we can’t win The measure of Jewish control of Britain was amply demonstrated by the arrest and continuing harassment of singer Alison Chabloz. This self-appointed Jew organization had to browbeat the government four times before charges were finally pressed. She could have lampooned any other ethnic group and no one would have lifted an eyebrow. And then they staged this phony arrest of Tommy Robinson supposedly protesting the Muslim rape epidemic to make sure Alison got no media coverage. (By the way, why have British authorities allowed the Muslim rape epidemic to continue for more than ten years?) We’re playing a Jewish game with the media, and it’s a game we can’t win. Jez Turner was put in jail for worse. He described Jewish control of British history perfectly and got slammed into jail during a particularly fruitful roundup of Revisionist activists. Now the Schaefer’s are in jail and Arthur Topham, who had been devoutly monitoring the daily status of the recently arrested, remains silent. And this is what these anti-Semitism laws are all about: to prevent discussion of Jewish crimes. Jewish soldiers kill Palestinians for fun. Jewish food producers poison Americans by the millions. Jewish drug manufacturers have addicted the whole world to their poison pills. All Jews are sociopaths because they follow the insane commands of the Talmud. Jews are not allowed to report crimes by their fellow Jews. How can they be good citizens anywhere? They have turned America into a sociopathic country, using the promotion of blacks to retard the culture of whites. People are being lied to. The U.S. is the chief force for evil in the world, mostly because they are doing the bidding of rich Jews who control the world’s money supply. Besides Israel and the Jews in the City of London, I defy you to tell me another power in the world that can make the U.S. military go anywhere in the world and murder those they are ordered to eliminate. Mindless obedience to murderous policies Tell the truth and go to jail! It’s the new party toast. Everything has been reversed. Leave those child molesters alone; they’re the ones in charge of the world. How in the world is anyone supposed to deal with a legal system that declares the truth is no defense. What would Thomas Jefferson say about that? Everything has been reversed. The good people are being put in jail. The bad people are making the laws. So that the freedom of speech and thought once guaranteed to all Americans are no longer in effect. Today, we can no longer criticize Jews for their manic criminality that negatively affects everybody on Earth. We will be arrested if we do. But if we don’t the future promises only mindless obedience to murderous policies from which we may never be able to protect ourselves. Refuse to Believe the Lies the Jewish-Programmed Media “Monsters” want you to believe! It is no more anti-Semitic to expose Jewish Zionist gangsters than it is anti-Italian to expose the Mafia. The Sicilian Mafia and the Jewish Zionist Cabal is basically the same sort of organizations built on tribal loyalty, tribal cronyism, murderous ruthlessness, and secrecy to advance their criminal designs. The true criminals have to be exposed to the majority... Are you afraid to tell the truth? You ought to be: Offend the Jews and your future is in jeopardy. How ironic that the group known as the world’s greatest liars now control the entire world’s media? Recognizing ‘something above your own nature’ helps detoxify the lies you’ve been told. No doubt if you have studied history beyond the mainstream abortion of it, you have had occasion to tell certain people something they simply refuse to believe, because it goes against what they’ve learned in their lifetimes through schools, newspapers, and TV — which mostly echo the lies of scheming politicians and their pathological theoreticians who conveniently shape history to fatten their own financial portfolios. Utterly deceived by the political lies our government tells us every day, we actually have no idea about our own actual history nor, in this useless overproduction of knowledge we are required to master that actually prevents us from thinking at all, do we have any idea what our government is doing at this present moment. We don’t find out later, either, because no matter who is in charge, they lie about everything they say, and insist it’s in the best interests of the people. Is this a species that can be trusted, or relied upon to do the right thing? The evidence says otherwise. Think about it. What is happening in the world is usually 180 degrees out from what our government SAYS is happening. Example, we are bombing Syria because we are fighting ISIS; yet, we are funding ISIS through third-party stooges Qatar, Bahrain, and the evil Saudis. We invented al-Qaida to answer the question of who knocked down the World Trade Center towers, and just today the government was telling us we had to look at al-Qaida, now tens of thousands strong and positioned all over the world, as a positive force in America’s war on Syria. https://www.strategic-culture.org/news/2018/09/12/17-years-after-911-us-backs-al-qaeda-in-syria.html And of course the entire sordid drama is overseen by the Israeli puppet masters, who are immune to all logic and laws with their financial stranglehold on most of the politicians in the world. Law enforcement in the United States is a complete joke when the highest officials in the land commit crimes openly and a lapdog press corps constantly looks the other way while feeble police kill innocent bystanders for no reason but their own incompetence and even if they are charged is seldom convicted. Yet still, Americans have yet to understand that what psychopathological criminals do to their enemies they will do to their friends, and this is what everyone is experiencing right now as our society prepares for its final shakedown. The abuse of innocence Which are you? You’re cynical and razor-sharp self or a bruised ego on a mission to nowhere? In any case, you’re likely to trust your own poorly informed ego; you’re not likely to admit your comprehension of history is totally erroneous. Ancient Greece’s great leader, Pericles, spoke of this in his famous Funeral Oration. . . . It is hard to speak properly upon a subject where it is difficult to convince your hearers that you are speaking the truth. On the one hand, the friend who is familiar with every fact of the story may think that some point has not been set forth with that fullness which he wishes and knows it to deserve. On the other, a stranger to the matter may be led by envy to suspect exaggeration if he hears anything above his own nature. For men can endure to hear others praised only so long as they can persuade themselves of their own ability to equal the actions recounted: when this point is passed, envy comes in and with it incredulity. Praise of other people is tolerable only up to a certain point, the point where one still believes that one could do oneself some of the things one is hearing about. Once beyond that point, people become jealous disbelievers. But perhaps Pericles’ best remembered piece of advice is this. One’s sense of honor is the only thing that does not grow old, and the last pleasure when one is worn out with age, is not, as the poet said, making money, but having the respect of the people who have known you best. For it is only the love of honor that never grows old; and honor it is, not gain, as some would have it that rejoices the heart of age and helplessness. Though deemed out of fashion in a Wall Street world, this lost honor is what keeps humanity distracted from their own lives by the chains of chaos. Society has been overtaken by its own promiscuity One of the ironies of the creative process is that it partly cripples itself in order to function. I mean that, usually, in order to turn out a piece of work, the author has to exaggerate the emphasis of it, to oppose it in a forcefully competitive way to other versions of the truth; and he gets carried away by his own exaggeration, as his distinctive image is built on it . . . . The problem is to find the truth underneath the exaggeration, to cut away the excess elaboration or distortion and include that truth where it fits. Ernest Becker, the Denial of Death, 1974 The false cry of SIX MILLION DEAD Echoes across time like a nightmare from the mind of a madman. You’ve no doubt seen the story of the history detailing the use of this freighted phrase since the late 19th century, six million Jews in jeopardy of starving by one evil government or another, forever 6 million! Jewish newspapers kept running these stories right up until they could pin it all on Hitler in a triumphant public relations strategy. Becker, a Jewish cultural anthropologist, described the danger of exaggeration correctly. He also inadvertently described the situation of so-called Jewish persecution by the Germans, which was triggered by a Jewish declaration of war against the Germans nine years before World War II ever started. The Red Cross death toll from German camps researched in 1980 came to around 270,000. How much of a Jewish exaggeration is 6 million? And where do the 12 million Germans who were murdered by the ‘allies’ after the war ended fit into your calculations? Also, the blood libel of the Jews wanting to suck the blood of gentile children was falsely blamed on the Germans, who actually were scrupulous in their conduct of prisoners. Because of kosher public relations excellence, virtually the entire world believes the Jewish lies about Hitler, who in fact was the world’s most beloved leader of the 20th century. Name a U.S. president who was so beloved, if you care to try. This habit of overwrought exaggerations is also constantly present in all American rhetoric about Russia, which has been ingrained into our minds as an evil menace as surely as Hitler was demonized, but only by Jewish media and not as a rule by ordinary people around the world, especially now after the heroic Russians saved Syria from American and Israeli perfidy. I’m saying public political palaver today is lost in its own exaggerations which obscure the actual content of what is being said. After all the sensational charges, the fact remains America has propped up Russia throughout the 20th century so that the moneymaking tension keeping us on the verge of constant war kept on generating maximum profits for the Rothschild’s and their weapons manufacturers. This process applies to the two greatest tragedies in recent times — World War II and 9/11 — in which total lies are accepted as fact by a majority of people in the world. Far removed from the time it happened, people are today being slammed into jail for challenging propagandistic lies now called “The Holocaust” that justify the crimes of the Deep State maniacs who seek to turn the world into a giant prison. And the obvious hoax of steel skyscrapers being destroyed by fire is by now seen by all those who care to contemplate the absurdity of the government’s 9/11 hype and the blanket immunity given to Israelis caught by the cops on their way to blow up the George Washington Bridge as classic smokescreens in the fog of war. How can a population be deemed sane when its own government (the USA) has its main enemy (Russia) surrounded by military bases, and yet, Americans are told Russia remains the greatest threat? There are no Russian military bases surrounding the U.S. You know, of course, that back in the days of the czars, Russia was America’s best friend, but that was before the obvious emergence of Jewish power in America. By the time the 19th century turned into the 20th, Rothschild henchman Jacob Schiff had engineered the Japanese defeat of Russia in 1905, not only betraying a reliable old friend but setting up a new patsy for future wars. The cause of the blindness How can it be we’ve been unable to see the scam that continues to be played on us, always it’s the rich get richer and the poor disappear to the impartial ruthlessness of poverty? It hasn’t been by accident. Its one thing to talk about nationhood but quite another to talk about what is best for the human species. From that tangent develops every revolution and every invention known to humanity, as the struggle for personal gain collides with simple facts that keep us alive, such as air to breathe and water to drink. Is it best for our children to hear of our role inflicting cholera on a large part of the population of Yemen for the purpose of securing shipping lanes and oil fields? This is who we are as Americans. But is it who we are as humans? The human tendency is to revel in the misfortunes of others, and there are plenty of sources around to provide them for us. In fact, all commerce is based on strife, the amelioration of desires, which is why, I guess, the cleverest among us have seized upon constant wars as the best moneymaking opportunity out there. It is your choice to let this strategy be the epitaph of an extinct human species. The current political climate might as well be a script for some mindless TV sitcom where the truth is nowhere to be found, only the propaganda programming of perverts trying to turn people into robots, a venomous project which has largely succeeded. The Jews founded all three TV networks and they called it diversity. None of this will be important when we are dead. But the point is to avoid this eventuality for as long as possible, and the first step is doing this is to perceive the world as it really is as best we can, and refuse to accept the hollow lies the Jewish-programmed media monsters command us to believe. John Kaminski is a writer who lives on the Gulf Coast of Florida, constantly trying to figure out why we are destroying ourselves, and pinpointing a corrupt belief system as the engine of our demise.